#and both of them SOLVE AND INTRODUCE PROBLEMS

[not-poignant]

if ur still doing the writing meme (i've liked all ur answers even the 'unpopular' ones a haikyuu fic i loved once got rewritten and i'm still sad i never saved the first one because i didn't realize the author didn't like it and i wish i'd commented more or sth to make them know we loved the og so much) -> 13 and 34 plz

Ahh I'm sorry you went through that anon re: the Haikyuu! fic. Please don't guilt-trip yourself for it. Authors have lots of reasons for rewriting a fic, or deleting a fic, and sometimes even when it's had thousands of kudos they will still do it.

It sounds like you commented in general (since you say 'commented more' instead of just commented) which is like... really awesome. Who knows, maybe the author thought they were giving you the better version! You can always leave a comment and ask if they still have the original chapters on file somewhere if that author's still active, and if they'd be willing to share them with you somehow.

Now to the meme:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I was going to answer this with 'easy, everything I don't write' lmao because I just avoid the stuff I find hardest. But that's kind of...not the point. So in all seriousness:

Big ensemble scenes with big ensemble casts. I don't know why I insist on writing these a fair bit, but anything that has more than two characters in a scene is a struggle. More than four is like 'OH GOD.' It's just a lot of work in a different kind of way.

Happy endings. It's not that they're difficult to write, exactly, it's that I'm often...kind of sad to be letting go of the story and I feel like I've already let it go at the point that I'm writing the happy ending. Like, I am not happiest when I'm writing the happy ending, though I want it to feel really really good for readers. I love happy endings, but I also get really noticeable lag and slow down a bit towards the end of stories, because I have less motivation. An ending means letting go of that version of the world, or that installment, and my brain is like 'dun wanna.'

Beginnings/openings. I don't really enjoy the first few pages of a first chapter and I know I'm not often good at beginnings which further preys on my 'everyone is going to hate this story' insecurity I have at the beginning of a new thing.

Action scenes used to be in this but they're not as much anymore. But I do really struggle with sex scenes too! And I think that's a reason I don't write them as much as I used to. It's not a bad thing, one of the reasons they're harder is because I want them to be good and I just don't want to do carbon copies of previous sex scenes and I've now written like 200 of them.

As for things I find easy, hmm. I'm going to go with broadscale characterisation and dialogue. I also think generating character and place names is really easy, and inventing species to populate a new world is easy. I also think describing nature is easy for me, though I sometimes feel silly or like...I'm boring people when I describe it, so I try not to do it toooo much.

I'm bad at writing description but hilariously I don't find it difficult. x.x Maybe that's why I'm bad at it.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

*takes a breath*

Since you don't mind unpopular opinions I hope you don't mind this one: I fucking don't rate the Oxford Comma and try to avoid using it wherever possible. It's really easy to avoid some of the errors an Oxford Comma can prevent through context, and frankly, the Oxford Comma can create its own issues which can be prevented through not using it. You can avoid or introduce ambiguity whether you do or don't use it, basically, one solves some problems and introduces others, the other solves some problems and introduces others.

In that sense, it's understandable why it's not mandated in many style guides. It is preferable in US English, but damn, I'm not from the USA. And the Oxford Style Guide recommends it but the Oxford Style Manual recommends against it. Australian Style Guides, including the one issued by the government, generally oppose its use, but it's not mandated, so it's really at the author's discretion.

I've tried using it. Like, I've sat down and thought 'right I'm going to give this a good shot' and I just really don't like it. So you'll see a handful here and there in my writing where I thought 'okay let's try it' and then just been like nahhhh.

I have no problems with other people using it, and those people can have all the extra commas I'm not using because damn, they'll need them. :D

--

From the Weird Questions for Writers meme!

[chaoticallyfluffy]

Ok consider:

A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.

Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.

But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.

They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.

(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)

Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.

When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!

Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol

[haggishlyhagging]

In 1847 the stereotypes for male and female writers were very rigid. Critics expected from a male writer strength, passion, and intellect, and from a woman writer they expected tact, refinement, and piety. They depended on these stereotypes so much, in fact, that they really didn't know how to proceed, what to say, or what to look for in a book if they were unsure of the author's sex.

So Jane Eyre created a tremendous sensation, and it was a problem for the Brontës. The name Currer Bell could be that of either a man or a woman and the narrator of Jane Eyre is Jane herself. The book is told as an autobiography. These things suggested that the author might have been a woman. On the other hand, the novel was considered to be excellent, strong, intelligent and, most of all, passionate. And therefore, the critics reasoned, it could not be written by a woman, and if it turned out that it was written by a woman, she had to be unnatural and perverted.

The reason for this is that the Victorians believed that decent women had no sexual feelings whatsoever—that they had sexual anesthesia. Therefore, when Jane says about Rochester that his touch "made her veins run fire, and her heart beat faster than she could count its throbs," the critics assumed this was a man writing about his sexual fantasies. If a woman was the author, then presumably she was writing from her own experience, and that was disgusting. In this case we can clearly see how women were not permitted the authority of their own experience if it happened to contradict the cultural stereotype.

But even more shocking than this to the Victorians was Jane's reply to Rochester, a very famous passage in the novel. He has told her he is going to marry another woman, an heiress, but that she can stay on as a servant. Jane answers him thus:

"I tell you I must go," I retorted, roused to something like passion. "Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton, a machine without feeling and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I'm soulless and heartless? You think wrong. I have as much soul as you and full as much heart. And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should've made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionality, nor even of mortal flesh. It is my spirit that addresses your spirit, just as if both had passed through the grave and we stood at God's feet equal—as we are."

This splendid assertion violated not only the standards of sexual submission, which were believed to be women's duty and their punishment for Eve's crime, but it also went against standards of class submission, and obviously against religion. And this sort of rebellion was not feminine at all.

The reviews of Jane Eyre in 1847 and 1848 show how confused the critics were. Some of them said Currer Bell was a man. Some of them, including Thackeray, said a woman. One man, an American critic named Edgar Percy Whipple, said the Bells were a team, that Currer Bell was a woman who did the dainty parts of the book and brother Acton the rough parts. All kinds of circumstantial evidence were adduced to solve this problem, such as the details of housekeeping. Harriet Martineau said the book had to be the work of a woman or an upholsterer. And Lady Eastlake, who was a reviewer for one of the most prestigious journals, said it couldn't be a woman because no woman would dress her heroines in such outlandish clothes.

Eventually Charlotte Brontë revealed her identity, and then these attacks which had been general became personal. People introduced her as the author of a naughty book; they gossiped that she was Thackeray's mistress. They speculated on the causes of what they called "her alien and sour perspective on women." She felt during her entire short life that she was judged always on the basis of what was becoming in femininity and not as an artist.

-Elaine Showalter, ‘Women Writers and the Female Experience’ in Radical Feminism, Koedt et al (eds.)

[mygnolia]

LOVE ON A FRESH SLATE ༄ TEASER

༄ SYNOPSIS -› Sim Jaeyun might not have many critically acclaimed films in his IMBD, but if there’s something to change that, it’s his upcoming film, ‘diving in love,’ a fresh summer romance that’s caught the attention of everyone on the internet. The only problem is, no one believes the chemistry will be up to rom-com standards. Maybe he’ll save his career by fake dating his cold-hearted co-star, aka you, to sell it?

༄ PAIR -› actor!sim jaeyun x fem actress!reader

༄ GENRE -› fluff, banter, angst, comfort ༄ TROPES -› enemies to lovers, heavy on the fake dating (i LOVE fake dating) ༄ WC -› estimated 15-20k idk lolz

༄ INCLUDES -› will be added!

༄ RELEASE DATE -› november!

༄ REN SAYS... me when summer also haha get it slate cuz they're actors but also it's e2l so misunderstandings heheheh am i funny (im not) | LIBRARY

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“You’re going to tell me you signed me up for the cult of Scientology, I assume,” You introduce yourself, shaking hands with the man next to Sunoo. 

Once again, there is just one empty seat before Jake Sim walks in, out of breath. “Jungwon, please don’t tell me–” He notices you after he barges in, taking in your poised manner as you wait for him to continue. But he doesn’t. The words die on his tongue when he sees you and the same manager from last week's meeting. 

“Please don’t tell me what?” Jungwon asks, raising an eyebrow as Jake sinks into the only chair left. The latter shakes his head, not wanting to elaborate any further. 

Sunoo sits up, putting his hands together after he finishes the last sip of his drink. “Open up the files, ____.” He motions to the manila folder on the table, and with much confusion, you peel back the cover to find a neat stack of black and white articles. 

Jungwon, who you can only assume is Jake’s manager, gets Jake to lean in and read what’s on the pages. “This,” he starts, spreading out the rest of the articles, “is every article in the past week with a negative outlook on whether or not the film will be up to par with the standards of the 2000’s.”

You scoff, eyes trailing over an article with your face as the cover. “Really? People hate me that much?” Your dry humor really only resonates with Sunoo, who sends you a look before trying to organize the flurry of papers.

“I doubt they’ll keep going,” Jake tries, fidgeting with his ring. Maybe his second rich person problem was figuring out how to get the media to like him again if the movie turns into a failure and he has to scour for another source of income. 

“Unless I solve world hunger, I doubt the media will turn away from the wine scandal any time soon.” Jake considers dropping out and cutting his losses early with the way you comment on your impending future. 

Jake’s manager shakes his head, closing the manila folder and essentially blocking it out before coming up with the worst possible plan in existence. 

“You two can fake date. Then, no one will question your chemistry, because they’ll think you’re in love.” 

There were only so many things you refused to do in your lifetime, but fake dating your co-star made it to the top of your list in record time. 

You shook your head. “Absolutely not.” At least Jake could agree with one thing you said. 

The silence almost turns awkward before Sunoo speaks up in agreement, ignoring you. “I like it, it’ll give them a chance to pretend to bond more. Plus, they’re both young and attractive, and Jake is a change of pace from all of her shitty ex-boyfriends.” If Jake still wanted to jump off a building after hearing their proposition, you’d unknowingly want to join him. 

You cough in your arm, hiding the embarrassment of his last comment before nodding to look at the actor. “You think just because I’m dating someone, it’ll make the movie more watchable?” 

Sunoo rolls his eyes. “I’d much rather watch a rom-com if it was confirmed that the actors found love on set. It’s a good story.” 

Jungwon interjects. “Good publicity.” 

The actor beside you finally speaks up. “And you want to start this arrangement…when?” 

“As soon as possible,” your manager answers, and his response might be some of the worst news you’ve heard in a while. “Hear me out, ‘____ ____ and Jake Sim falling in love the moment they’re casted. It’s fate. They’ve been in love since the beginning. I have to see it, their chemistry will be so good.’ ”

Before you nor Jake are able to come up with a rebuttal, Jungwon adds, “I know both of you can act, and even despite this fake relationship, the movie will be good. But if you can get away from the negative thoughts surrounding the film’s pre-release, it’ll generate so much more hype around it.” 

“Better for your conscience, ____. You don’t need angry Sunghoon fans sending you anymore death threats.” If Sunoo kept airing out your problems like that, you’d drag him out by the ear without any fake boyfriend in tow.

You really think about it, questioning if one PR stunt could get you out of the nepo baby ditch you’ve been trying to fight for years; it wasn’t even that you were bad at your job, your mother just never had anything nice to say to anyone. If anything, she was Hollywood’s actual mean girl.

“Fine.” You agree begrudgingly. 

Jake on the other hand has no idea what he’s getting out of this. How does fake-dating a girl he’s never liked help his reputation at all?

Maybe it’s because he couldn’t find an answer to it, or maybe Jake was comfortable enough asking something so brash in public. “What the hell do I get out of it?” 

You lean back in surprise, not used to hearing him so flustered by something. It was all your fault, Jake thinks as he once again pulls at his hair. 

The room is silent as everyone’s gears turn. Jake puts his hands on both sides of the armchair, about to get up and pretend this failure of a ruse ever existed. “If there’s nothing, I’m-”

“Wait,” you cut him off, eyes still fixed on something as you think. It’s good for you, and mainly you. Jake has a good reputation, people love natural chemistry and love a cute couple even more, and your name would be in summer-y titles for the next two months if your scheme worked out. But him? 

What could Jake Sim possibly want? 

“You want money? Connections? An interview with Justin Beiber?” You try, spewing what every boy would want when they were 13. 

Somehow, his head perks up when he hears his favorite celebrity’s name from your lips. 

“You could do that?” He asks, bewildered. 

“I thought you hated me for having a famous mom.” He stays silent. 

“Look, you’re up and coming. If this movie does well, I’ll send a letter to the top producers in the industry and tell them about how stunning of a performance you gave.” 

It’s a deal that’s extremely hard to pass on–hell, he’s literally getting paid to act in the movie anyways, so it’s not like he loses much if he says yes. But you’re snarky, and although you’re not outright rude, you never seem to be excited for anything, and Jake has no idea why the mood is so sour when he’s with you.

Whatever, it’s not like it’s real, anyways.  

Jake shrugs and pinches his nose bridge momentarily before sighing. “Where do I sign?” 

You thought that Jake had been oblivious to the whole thing as much as you were, but it seems like he knew about a hidden contract. Jungwon fishes out a crisp white sheet of paper from his bag. “You know me so well, and I didn’t even tell you anything,” and his response has you thinking that maybe the actor just knows his manager well. 

Suddenly, the next year of your love life is signed and tucked away into two identical copies for Jungwon and Sunoo, before the two shake hands and smile. “I’m excited for how things will go,” your manager comments before you two leave. 

The moment the door shuts behind you, you let out a long exhale, suddenly finding interest in your manicure. 

“You’re annoying, Sunoo. But I don’t doubt you.” 

The boy smiles and links arms with you, walking to the entrance of the studio building before you both catch wind of the paparazzi. 

A swarm of reporters and cameras catch your casual outfit and sunglasses when you emerge with your manager behind you. Questions bombard you, and you hear amongst the commotion a few reporters who are desperate for their next article to feature you. ‘Is it true that you’ve hated Sunghoon for years?’ ‘What do you have to say about your new film?’ ‘Do you have anything to say about Jake Sim?’ 

You pause momentarily on the way to your car, reconsidering if you should answer any question. “Me and Sunghoon have never had a disagreement, and I know he appreciated the Prada we sent him a few weeks ago.” Smiling at the memory, you choose to answer a few more questions before you have to go. “As for the new film? I’m fairly excited. Me and my boyfriend are more than ready to be filmed together." 

The gasps from the crowd leave you content as you slip into your car with Sunoo. “But don’t tell anyone I’m dating!” You yell out for good measure, knowing that by morning, everything will have changed.

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[hauntingrabbits]

Happy Batman day! Went back and finished the last batch of the MLP AU I had sketched way back in May.

Part 1, Part 2

More info under the cut!

Enigma/The Riddler (Edward Nygma)

Intelligence and puzzle-solving are deeply valued among sphinxes, and those who fall short of their standards are often ridiculed and cast out. Among some (prejudiced) Sphinxes, other sapient, non-Sphinx species such as ponies are looked down-upon or seen as fundamentally inferior for not putting as much stock in puzzles and the like as sphinxes do.

Enigma, though considered a prodigy for his remarkable intelligence and skill with puzzles even among his fellow Sphinxes, was ostracized when a pony unfamiliar with Sphinx culture (a younger Sundown traveling Equestria for his training), humiliated Enigma by unraveling a puzzle of his that was meant to be judged as his final submission in a prestigious event, permanently staining his reputation and wounding his massive ego.

After years of quiet ridicule from his peers and his own growing obsession over the event, Enigma eventually snapped and fled to Gotham for revenge. His contempt has since spread far beyond that of the original pony he wished to prove his superiority over, and he now makes all of Gotham the target of his obsessive schemes, constantly trying to prove his superiority and feed his ego by putting ponies through his elaborate puzzles and riddle-based traps. He sees Batpony’s skill and determination in foiling him as both an inherent challenge to and a slight against his own abilities, reminding him far too much of that original pony from so long ago. 

Other notes:

-Apparently sphinxes in MLP have pony heads instead of human heads which makes sense I guess but it threw me through such a loop man.

-Whilst traversing the wiki I ended up with the same problem I had with chimeras in the first post where only one ever shows up in the series and there's no other info on them. So I made stuff up again.

- I imagine Sphinxes live a very long time, so the event Enigma was embarrassed at would probably take a long time to roll around again and he'd be forced to stew with his anger and wounded ego for far too long. I'm not sure what the puzzle was exactly or how Sundown dismantled it, but I imagine he did something extremely simple that a Sphinx would never have thought of (a la that software engineering joke), making it feel far more unfair and humiliating than if he'd solved in the intended way.

-His naturally crooked tail settles into the shape of a question mark, and the pattern on his arm is meant to look like a stylized question mark wrapping around his forearm (the "dot" is the white of his paw).

2. Miss Friday (Miss Tuesday)

Enigma’s teenaged assistant, Miss Friday seems to be the only pony the sphinx enjoys (or perhaps simply tolerates) the company of. Beyond her having met Enigma in Tartarus during their simultaneous imprisonments, the exact origins of her relationship to and exceptional status with her boss are a bit of a riddle in of themselves. Regardless, the two seem to have something of a mutual understanding, and Miss Friday’s mental prowess and dubious moral code are more than a match for Enigma’s own.

Other Notes:

-Yes this is a "The horse's name was Friday" joke. I'm sorry it was just too good to pass up.

-Miss Tuesday already sounded like a MLP name, but the horse named Friday thing was just too perfect for somebody who works under a guy who's whole thing is riddles. Also I relistened to the BTAA episode where she's introduced while coloring her and I noticed they reference His Girl Friday several times, so fun coincidence?

-The candy-striped leg patterns are based on her canon costume's striped pants & are meant to mirror the Riddler's wrapped leg pattern. The dark patterns on her face are supposed to be reminiscent of eye bags.

3. Mania (Bat-Mite)

Bat-Pony’s self-proclaimed biggest fan, Mania is a Draconequus embodying the spirit of obsession. Normally he watches the hero from his own dimension, but at times he tries to insert himself into the narrative or help Sundown fight, both to varying degrees of success. Though he genuinely adores Bat-Pony, Mania is usually more of a hindrance than a help, and can even be directly antagonistic at times when his obsession goes too far. 

Other notes:

-Similar issue to Chimeras and Sphinxes, only two Draconequuses (Draconequui?) show up in the series, one being Discord (embodying chaos), the other being a comics-only villain known as Cosmos (embodying malice), but honestly what little we're given worked super well for the character anyway. Discord seems to come from his own unique plane of existence/dimension and Cosmos has similarly strange origins; both have penchants for causing mischief with incredible reality-warping powers; and both embody non-physical concepts. Bat-Mite being a reality warping 5th dimensional creature obsessed with Batman was surprisingly easy to adapt.

-He has the head of a pony, a ferret-like body, two front rat paws, mite antennae, an insectoid wing, a bat wing, a pigeon foot, a chevrotain (mouse deer) foot, and a monkey tail. I tried to have him mostly made up of animals that were very small, seen as mischievous, and/or seen as pests.

4. Poison Ivy (Pamela Isley)

Said to be more plant than pony, Poison Ivy is the self-proclaimed princess of the Green. Though once a regular Earth pony, she began to spiral after receiving her cutie mark and fully coming into her powerful natural attunement to plant life. Fleeing into the nearby forests on the outskirts of Gotham, she wasn’t seen again until many years later when Gotham’s city refurbishment and expansion efforts began to encroach on the forests borders, where she reemerged with strange new powerful magic and retaliated violently.

Though she isn’t recognized politically or physically as an alicorn, plants grow from the flesh of her body in the pattern of a horn and wings characteristic of those born into or bestowed with royalty, and the strange natural magic that accompanies them seems to almost rival that of a true alicorn’s.

Other notes:

-I dont really have anything to add to this one I just thought a false alicorn would be a cool concept.

-the whole alicorn royalty thing is very strange to think about isnt it? I feel like the ruling class having such insane amounts of physical and magical power probably has much more pressing ramifications than ever was, would, or should be addressed in a kids show but they are fun to think about.

-Her actual name is Poison Ivy, yes. It sounded like a pony name. I don't know what that says about her parents.

-The leaf wings are folded down in the graphic but I think they are flighted, or at the very least useful for gliding and expressing emotions.

5. Saltbrine (Oswald Cobblepot)

Short, stout, and flightless, Saltbrine’s moniker of “The Penguin” has its origins in the taunts of his peers from his youth. Though the title has persisted into the current day, it’s often spoken with far more fear and trepidation throughout the alleys and backstreets of Gotham than ridicule. Saltbrine owns two of Gothams most well-known businesses, one being the luxurious, high-class Iceberg Lounge…and the other being the organized crime syndicate the former acts as a front for.

Other notes:

-Again don't have much to add to this one. One of my favorite designs though, I love the giant beak face.

-The bird half is actually based on a puffin, because a penguin felt too on the nose for Oswald and too strange for a hippogriff (I couldn't get the wings or face to look right at all either). I feel like the title being an insult works a little better if he's not literally half-penguin.

-he's the same color my club penguin avatar used to be (RIP)

[sluglore]

Explaining The Iterator's Purpose (And Why They Weren't Made to Circumvent The Echoes)

Alright, I know there's already been a few posts like this out there, like this older one from @halvedforest, and this recent one from @noizepushr, which are both good posts, but I've been meaning to touch up and cross-post my own older misconceptions post from reddit for a while now, and provide a deeper, more expanded analysis as to why this misconception exists and explain what's actually going on, so here it finally is haha I'll also be using the term 'Benefactor' instead of 'Ancient', if people are confused about that, I intend to make a post about it eventually ^^

( If you're confused on who out there even believes this, this idea originated from Rain World YouTube lore videos, long before Downpour was ever a thing! It is unfortunately still quite prominent on there... but it's definitely getting better :3 )

This misconception stems from misreading the singular pearl to ever mention the echoes, being the Bright Red farm arrays pearl, so let me begin by attaching the specific section below:

“There were some horror stories though... That if your ego was big enough, not even the Void Fluid could entirely cross you out, and a faint echo of your pompousness would grandiosely haunt the premises forever. So even when the Void Fluid baths became cheaper, some would still starve and drink the bitter tea.” (Bright red Farm Arrays pearl dialogue)

Note the specific usage of “some” here. Echoes weren't presented as an issue significant to re-center Benefactor society around, (let alone build the iterators for) but as some horror stories which only "some" people (likely on the fringes of society) would believe in. Nowhere are we given anything that alludes to the existence of Echoes being regarded as a societal problem to address, much less have anything to do with the Iterators.

Additionally, although we know for a fact that echoes do exist, its fairly possible that most of Benefactor society didn't, as LTTM doesn't even know what they are either, regarding them as nothing more than superstition. On the very next line, LTTM confirms that the void baths continued all the same, while again mentioning that "some" would still choose to abstain from them, and drink the bitter tea.

Then what’s the purpose of the iterators if they weren't created to circumvent the echoes? What is The Big Problem that they are even trying to solve in the first place? Well, both FP, LTTM, and the Exterior colored pearl dialogue spell the answer out for you. In fact, it's the first thing FP even tells you!

“The good news first. In a way, I am what you are searching for. Me and my kind have as our purpose to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others. A strange charity - you the unknowing recipient, I the reluctant gift. The noble benefactors? Gone.” (Five Pebbles dialogue to Survivor) (Monk's version also hits similar notes)

Five pebbles introduces himself as a “reluctant gift," with his purpose being "to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others," meaning to solve the cycles for everyone and everything else.

If you bring Looks to the Moon a neuron, she has the chance to repeat the same exact explanation to you.

"We were supposed to help everyone, you know. Everything. That was our purpose: a great gift to the lesser beings of the world. When facing our inability to do so, we all reacted differently. Many with madness.”

FP, LTTM, and the rest of their kind were created to serve the rest of the world in finding a method of total mass ascension, of ending the cycle entirely for everyone.... and everything. Not only including the fauna of the world, like the slugcat, but the bedrock, microbes and even gases, as explicitly stated in this snippet from the Exterior pearl dialogue below:

“The Moral Argument: Five Pebbles is our Creation, and we have Parental Obligations towards him. As an Iterator, he is also a Gift of Charity from Us to The World (unable to reach Enlightenment by itself - being composed mostly of Rock, Gas, dull witted Bugs and Microbes - and towards which We thus have Obligations)” (Pale Green Exterior pearl dialogue)

Here we have the Benefactors define it very clearly, that as an iterator, Five Pebbles is a "Gift of Charity from Us to The World." It's important to note that many misinterpret the next section in parentheses as being about FP himself, but if it were, it would be the only time FP is ever referred to as “it”. What's really being described is the world, “unable to reach enlightenment by itself, being composed mostly of rock, gas, dull witted bugs and microbes” The world is unable to reach Enlightenment on it's own and therefore, that's why the iterators were created. (Also- when you think about it, the description of "being composed of rock, gas, and dull witted microbes" doesn't even really fit FP's description lol)

Quick but necessary tangent, the concept of non-living things being apart of the cycle is a little confusing, and tricky to quickly answer without going deep into cycle lore discussion, (I have an entire post in drafts dedicated to clearing this up) but it's actually incredibly important for understanding what The Great Problem is! To shed some light, it's not that non-living matter are able to somehow comprehend the cycles, but that the entire physical world itself is actually an intrinsic part of the cycles.

If you leave a stone on the ground, and come back some time later, it's covered in dust. This happens everywhere, and over several lifetimes of creatures such as you, the ground slowly builds upwards. So why doesn't the ground collide with the sky? Because far down, under the very very old layers of the earth, the rock is being dissolved or removed. The entity which does this is known as the Void Sea. If you drill far enough into the earth you begin encountering a substance called Void Fluid. The deeper you go, the less rock and more Void Fluid. It's believed that there is a point where the rock completely gives way - below that would be the Void Sea. When that stone you placed on the ground has finally done its time in the sediments, it meets the Void Fluid and is dissolved, leaving the physical world. (Teal Subterranean pearl dialogue)

There's a reason that 'Cycles' is always plural in Rain World, because there's multiple of them! Organic life is in cycles, the physical bedrock of the world is in cycles, even the very concept of civilization is in cycles. In order to ascend everything, that means ascending not only all living things, but the entire physical universe itself! That's what the Great Problem really is :D (Also technicallyyy it's only ever referred to as "the big problem" and not "the great problem", the latter term stems entirely from the community but it's whatever i just wanted to quickly mention that. great problem definitely sounds cooler LOL)

In conclusion, Iterators are described as "Gifts to the World" not once, not twice, but three entire times throughout base game Rain World's dialogue, one from FP, one from LTTM, and one from the Benefactors. Rain World lore holds many unanswered, purposefully ambiguous questions, but the Iterator's purpose is not one of them!

If you're confused/interested in analysis of the Benefactor's motivations and perspectives on Ascension, I made a post a little while back containing my thoughts right here :)

[gffa]

Here's why I don't think Qui-Gon could be the magical answer to "How do you solve a problem like Anakin Skywalker?" because of this right here. Qui-Gon directly witnesses Dooku's anger at the Senator who is oppressing the people of his planet, that he uses the Force in anger, he's literally Force-choking people right in front of Qui-Gon's eyes, and that's the same kind of thing Anakin does, the big red warning flag. So what does Qui-Gon do about it? He gets the Senator's son to help calm this specific situation down, puts a hand on Dooku's shoulder and gently says, "It's over now." But beyond that he doesn't really step in to make Dooku do anything, which is especially understandable here, but even as a Jedi Master we see that he never really stepped in to do anything with Dooku. Which isn't Qui-Gon's fault, this is not a castigation of him or saying he was wrong. Because it's Dooku's choice to not deal with his darker feelings. Because we see that Yaddle does try to reach out to him but it still has to be Dooku's choice, she couldn't make it for him, Qui-Gon couldn't make it for him, all they can do is handle what's in front of them in the moment and be there if the person reaches out. They have to trust and believe in the person that they care about. Which Qui-Gon very obviously does! You can hear it in his voice and see it on his face in these scenes! And what I'm getting at is--that's exactly what Obi-Wan does with Anakin as well. He reaches out to talk to him, he makes himself available, we see that in AOTC, in TCW, in ROTS. We see on his face that he cares so much about Anakin! We see others make themselves available for Anakin to talk to, but that it has to be his choice still. Qui-Gon cared about Dooku, who was falling to the dark, just as Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda cared about Anakin who was falling to the dark. Qui-Gon could not have magically solved Anakin's fall to the dark side because we already see he couldn't magically solve Dooku's, because it has to be that the person wants to make a different choice, they have to want to open up and be vulnerable. There's so much sympathy to be had for why Dooku or Anakin made the choices they did, that's why these characters love and care about them so much, because their motivations are sympathy-inspiring. But no one could save them from themselves if they didn't want to make the choice themselves, and Qui-Gon would not have been that magic save for Anakin, any more than Obi-Wan could have been a magic save for Dooku, if they'd been introduced sooner, not with the way Star Wars' narrative intentions work. I do believe that, in different circumstances (ones that mix-and-match Qui-Gon and Yoda and Obi-Wan's influences in their lives) people might have been inspired to make different choices, but it wouldn't have been a magic save. It would still be down to that the characters are responsible for their own choices and that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and Yoda are all generally equally able to/not able to save others. Qui-Gon wouldn't magically save Anakin from falling to the dark and couldn't save Dooku from falling to the dark, because he doesn't magically strip them of their own agency. That doesn't mean Qui-Gon cares about them any less, just like I honestly believe that Obi-Wan would have cared deeply about Dooku if places had been swapped, but he couldn't have magically saved him, either. Obi-Wan loved Anakin and did his best. Qui-Gon loved Dooku and did his best. And both of those beloved people still made their own choices, because all you can do is make yourself available and believe in them, whether they come through or not.

[anthurak]

Something I was always a little concerned about in the lead-up to Hazbin Hotel was that Charlie was going to be a bit too passive of a character, ie; leaning only into the ‘kind, optimistic Disney-Princess-in-Hell who just wants to help everyone’ vibe and not really have much else going on as a character. Which in turn would make her feel kind of bland next to the big, over-the-top or dramatic personalities like Angel Dust and Alastor.

But thankfully, that is not what happened and there’s actually a lot that I like about what the writers are doing with Charlie, particularly in the potential future development and reveals they seem to be setting up.

First off, I like how Charlie generally comes off more like an over-the-top caricature of that ‘Disney-Princess-in-Hell’ vibe, ie; SUPER energized, enthusiastic, affectionate and emotional, often to overbearing degrees that get on everyone’s nerves. It’s generally funny, or at least amusing, and lets Charlie stand out alongside the other big personalities in the cast. Funny enough, she’s actually a lot like Blitzo in this regard, minus the seesawing into extreme abrasiveness.

And more importantly, we’ve already gotten major hints all but confirming that this over-the-top personality is largely a façade, and that Charlie actually has some very clear issues and baggage that she’s working VERY hard to keep buried beneath the surface. Again, much like Blitzo.

Like how in the trust-fall exercise in episode three, despite asking everyone to reveal something personal, Charlie actually bullshits just as hard as Angel Dust and Sir Pentious with her whole ‘I love you all!’ bit. Sure, it’s not like she was lying or being insincere, but it’s clear that was NOT something truly personal for Charlie. And in episode 4 we have Husk straight-up calls out Charlie as ‘wanting to solve everyone’s problems but her own’.

Then of course we have the brief glimpses we’ve seen of Charlie getting angry. Both the times we’ve seen Charlie dealing with some truly despicable and horrendous characters, we’ve seen that rather than lacking the ability to get angry, Charlie is often working to hold herself back. In both her encounters with Adam and Valentino we see points where Charlie is clearly NOT intimidated or afraid of them at all and seems fully prepared to throw down, only being stopped by reigning herself in or by someone else (in this case Angel) stopping her.

Again, it all paints Charlie’s big, bubbly, hyperactive exuberance as something of a front, a way for her to bury a lot of thoughts, feelings and general baggage she doesn’t want to face. Just like what the show has already explored with Angel and Husk.

It actually raises some interesting questions as to what’s REALLY driving Charlie in running the hotel and trying to help Sinners. For one, Husk has already pegged Charlie as ‘wanting to solve everyone’s problems but her own’. And going back to thematic crossover with Helluva Boss, I can’t help but see some potential parallels between Charlie creating the Hazbin Hotel, and Blitzo creating Immediate Murder Professionals.

I think it’s pretty clear at this point that half the reason for creating I.M.P. was as a coping mechanism for Blitzo, or rather the assassination business in general. Something that we’ve gotten hints to as early as the second episode in Blitzo’s back and forth with the Robo-Fizz (“Does anyone love you, Blitzo?”/“No. But I’m really good with guns now!”). With the other half of the reason Blitzo created I.M.P. clearly seems to be to create a surrogate family, as seen with how much he tries to insert himself in the M&M’s lives. Possibly even a specific attempt to replace the family he unwittingly destroyed fifteen years ago.

So I really have to wonder if we’re going to find out that Charlie creating the hotel and her goal of redeeming sinners is in part likewise a coping mechanism and escape for her own baggage.

It’s actually really interesting how episode two first introduced the idea of people opening up with Sir Pentious, then episode four dived further into the concept of the walls and fake personas people put up to hide from their pain and trauma with Angel Dust and Husk. With those two opening up and starting to let their walls down to each other, and by extension we the audience, I think it makes Charlie’s own façade all the more noticeable. It’ll be pretty interesting if Charlie actually winds up being the toughest nut to crack when it comes to opening up about their real issues and baggage. Yet another interesting trait she shares with Blitzo.

All in all, I’m really liking what the show has been doing with Charlie as a protagonist. And I’m REALLY interested to see where the story is going to take her.

Particularly what’s going to happen when she reaches a breaking point…

[okiedokrie]

Meet Me In Amsterdam

Summary: "Minghao finds himself under a mentorship program from one of the most brilliant artist in the contemporary circle, where he meets Y/N and bond with their journey through art, overcoming traumas, and hopeless romanticism of the life and love around them. But all things come to an end at some point, the mentorship program ends, and they both go back to their lives. But they do meet again to finish what they started; 'if there is a next time, meet me in Amsterdam.'"

Characters/Pairing: Artist!Minghao x Artist!Fem!Reader

Genre: smut, some angst, fluff

AU/Trope Info: Non-idol AU!, idiots to lovers

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: Religious themes, implication of past sexual assault, homophobia mention, some cursing, food mentions, smut warnings under the cut

Rating: 18+

A/N: this is for the @svthub 2024 world tour collab! Thanks to @whipped-for-kpop-fics and @hobeemin for beta-reading!

Smut Warnings: oral (f receiving), sex in a church, unprotected sex, implied creampie

The air in Minghao's studio is dizzying. A broken exhaust and paint fumes don't really mix, and his open windows could only do so much. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Touching grass may solve his problem, but he doesn't feel like dealing with the morning dew on the grass.

He quickly closed his windows before packing all his belongings in his commuting bag, opting to rush to a recent exhibit that opened. Minghao knew very little about the artist, but a change of scenery might help quell his throbbing headache. 

Minghao took this opportunity to space out during the commute to the gallery, popping on his headphones and trying to ignore the touchy couples in the train car with him. He wonders what it'll feel like to find his person like them; Minghao only craves the warmth of another's arms.

He wonders what it'll feel like to fall for someone, to be comfortable with vulnerability and the trusting bond between two lovers. Ever the hopeless romantic, he'd love to love and be loved.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the intercom buzzed to life, announcing the arrival at Minghao’s stop. Adjusting the strap of his messenger bag, he pushed his way through the busy crowd to head out of the station. The walk to the gallery was calm and relatively quiet. This part of the city mostly had walking paths rather than roads, so it was really only bustling with people and the occasional bicycle. 

Arriving at the gallery, the pieces were gorgeous, as expected. This artist was well known in the contemporary circle, so it's no surprise that the gallery is almost busier than the outside. Minghao felt drawn to one piece in particular, the warm tones, swirling and melting into one another, blending into a flame-like flow; it was stationary yet moving.

He hears a chuckle behind him, only to see an older man, about mid-forties, smiling at him. “I see you enjoy this piece; you have great taste. What's your name, boy?” 

Minghao is a little flustered, but he introduces himself nonetheless. The man before him introduced himself as the artist and noticed Minghao's paint-stained hands before asking if he was an artist himself. Minghao confirmed the older man’s speculations, offering to show some of his work as photos on his phone. The older man was impressed by Minghao’s talent and potential, and he then mentioned that he had an apprenticeship program open, but it was in Amsterdam. 

Minghao agreed a little too enthusiastically, seeing as this man quite literally defined an era of art in a way nobody else has.

It was only a few weeks after that interaction, but Minghao found himself on a flight to Amsterdam.

Taking in the city's air, Minghao feels a sense of dread washing over him, and the hustle and bustle of a new city scares him a bit. Being alone in a foreign land wasn't why his nerves were all over the place; no, it was the fact that he felt this opportunity wasn't meant to be his.

Sure, his mentor got the opportunity to see his work before he accepted the offer, but still, he feels this mentorship program would've been more suited to someone more fitting.

Nonetheless, Minghao is here now. And he swears he'll make the most of the time he spends here.

Taking one of the many old trains out of the airport, the rumbling train rails helped ground him a little; the sound was new and familiar at the same time. He thought back to his small studio back home, wondering how well it'd hold up in the year he'd be gone.

Minghao is snapped out of his daydreams when the train arrives at his station. He lugs his luggage to what will be his living quarters for the rest of his time here. Wiping his palms over his sweats, he finally takes the time to haul his bags over the stairs to the small apartment that was provided to him. His mentor mentioned that he has a roommate, another artist in the program, so he doesn't let his stuff get too comfortable in the main room.

Instead, he randomly picks one of the rooms, hoping his roommate doesn't mind. If they did, it's not as if he's opposed to switching. 

He hums a simple melody while setting his bags to the side, still catching up to the jetlag and too tired to put anything away. He inspects the room, noting that it is a little dusty. He has to settle his sheets and wipe everything down before he can get too comfortable.

He thinks that heading out for brunch is a good idea, guessing that his roommate would most likely want to get situated in peace. He gets his wallet and phone and heads out to find somewhere to eat.

The streets weren't too busy. It was midday and the middle of the week, and most likely, people were still at their jobs. Still, they were full of people to the point that Minghao felt the pressure of needing to always be on the move. He constantly tried to go with the flow of the crowds while trying to find an establishment he could eat at, preferably something to quell his growing homesickness.

He stumbles across what seems to be a small business with very familiar-looking signs. Bingo! It's a Chinese restaurant! He thanks whatever force managed to lead him here before he enters the restaurant. The distinct smell of the classic spice mix calms his nerves, and his posture relaxes significantly. 

The man at the counter doesn't look up from his paper, pointing at a booth near the back where Minghao could set his stuff before ordering. The curt behavior of the man doesn't phase him; in fact, it comforts him. He sets his bag down before standing at the counter, reading over the signs that were both in Mandarin and English. He starts ordering his food in Mandarin, finally getting the man at the counter to notice him. He nods in understanding, taking his order diligently before yelling his order at the cook at the back.

He pays, nods at the man again, and gets situated at his table. Getting comfortable with the smell of the food cooking and the chatter of the people around him. He fiddles with his phone a little, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram to see what his friends are up to. Mingyu got another modeling gig, Jungkook with his new single, and Dokyeom got to play Orpheus in Hadestown. 

Soon enough, he doesn't realize how much time has passed, only noticing that his food was ready when the waitress hurriedly slides his food onto the table and takes his table number. Mumbling thanks, which he believes she ignores, Minghao starts to eat his food.

This is so good, actually; I need to post this to my story.

Minghao took a picture of his food. The digital camera shutter almost distracted him from the sound of someone bumping into the table next to him. 

“Oh! Sorry, sorry!” A feminine voice said, frantically apologizing to the patron at said table, holding her hip. She desperately tried to wipe up anything that was spilled, apologizing profusely. Minghao got up from his table and offered to help her, wiping up the mess with her like the gentleman he was. Once the table was free from any spills, she apologized again to the person at the table and Minghao for troubling him.

“It’s fine; accidents happen all the time. Just be more mindful next time.” He says calmly, returning to his booth before a smaller hand grabs his arm. 

“Uh, I can't find a place to sit. Would you mind sharing a table with me?” she asked shyly but politely. Minghao shakes his head no. Offering her a polite smile as they walk back to their now shared table, she leaves her items in his care before going to order her food.

Minghao finally gets to enjoy the food he ordered. The decadent aroma was mouth-watering, and most importantly, it reminded him of home. It helps warm him up, literally and figuratively. He chews slowly, savoring the flavors of his food as usual. He'd always been a slow eater, slow enough for the lady he shares a table with to get her food and finish eating with him.

They both get up from their table with a curt nod of acknowledgment. Thinking this would be the last time they'd ever interact, Minghao didn't bother introducing himself. And neither does she. 

Yet, Minghao can't seem to shake the feeling of disappointment once he leaves her.

Minghao finally arrives at his apartment, ready to settle down after a long day of exploring the city and taking photos of places that inspire him. He closes the door, running a hand through his hair to look around the living room. 

He nearly dropped his camera when he saw the girl from the restaurant staring back at him, and he almost dropped the tray of paints from the shock.

“What are you doing here?!” She asked, surprised and on alert. Minghao could only guess what emotions she was going through at that moment. A random man she met once is suddenly in her apartment. Oh dear.

Minghao starts to feel panic settle into him, too. Both of them look like deer in headlights, trying to make sense of the situation. 

“Oh- uh- fuck, I live here!” Minghao says frantically, holding both his hands up in a show of innocence, showing his copy of the keys to their apartment.

Her posture immediately relaxed a little, “Oh uh, so, you're my roommate? I'm Y/n, by the way.” She says, still a little weary of him. He doesn't blame her; he did come in unannounced.

“It's nice to meet you again, I mean. I'm Minghao. Let's try to get along for this mentorship program, yeah?” He says, scratching the back of his head. “I'm gonna go head to bed; I'm exhausted from all the traveling, so uh, yeah.”

Minghao hoped his exit wasn't too awkward. Maybe it was, but he was too tired to deal with the intricacies of small talk. He changed his sheets quickly, throwing the old sheets into the wash before doing his nightly routine. He crashed into his new, cool sheets and drifted off into dreamland. 

It was the next morning, and the warmth of the sunlight was seeping in through the cracks between the curtains. He blinks away the sleep from his eyes, rubbing his face into his palms. He sits up and shakes his head to fight off the rest of his fatigue. He was always a morning person, but the jetlag is making it a bit too difficult for him to uphold that. 

His morning routine was simple: shower, get dressed, make-up and hair, breakfast, and out. He rarely breaks from this simple pattern, which consistently makes life easier for him. So it came as a surprise to him that he didn't have to make breakfast this time since his roommate kindly left a portion for him. 

He thinks this is such a nice gesture to leave for the guy who scared her half to death yesterday. Maybe this was a sort of peace offering to make getting along easier? Either way, he won't complain—it's just another thing to make his life a little easier.

His roommate is nowhere to be seen, most likely already on his way to the studio to meet their mentor. So Minghao also leaves the apartment, making sure to lock the door on his way out. He pops his headphones on, listening to his favorite commute playlist with a lightness in his step, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

The train ride to the studio was calm; the morning train was much less busy than the afternoon one he took when he arrived, so he got the opportunity to sit down and enjoy the book he recently got. It was a story about two soulmates finding each other in the middle of a city that was new to both of them; he thinks that maybe he's starting to lean into the hopeless romantic stereotype that his friends would always compare him to, which, he could never beat the allegations. 

His mind drifts to his art, and he describes how the romanticization of life became a heavy inspiration for his work. Minghao loves the strokes of color on the canvas as much as he loves life, and his passion for existence weaves itself between the fibers of his canvas.

After being snapped out of his daydreams by the conductor, he feels a sense of deja vu; he finds himself in his head constantly these days. He is always such a dreamer.

The doors of the train open with a mechanical hiss, old rails squeaking under the friction. He thinks the train still needs to go through the desperately needed maintenance. Same train, same. He thought to himself, stuffing his book back into his back with a huff.

Minghao takes in the scenery around him; this part of the city is much less busy than where his apartment was, so he could finally appreciate the city's beauty without the pressure of constantly having to be on the move.

His mentor's building comes into view. It is an older building; the exterior has long since been weathered, but history still makes it gorgeous. He noticed that buildings, most of them having yet to be touched since they were first built, added a charm to an otherwise monotonous city.

He pushes in the door, noting that his only option for getting to the studio is a set of ancient, creaky wooden steps. Minghao is lightheaded from looking at the flight of stairs, so he doesn't bother counting how many floors he has to climb just to get to his mentor. 

I have to climb this every day. I don't need to bother with leg day here. He thought to himself, already making the long trek up the stairs. 

It wasn’t that long—about 5 minutes of walking time—but it felt like an eternity to him. Walking was no issue; walking upstairs? Torture. The first treadmill was a step design, so it may not be an exaggeration. 

Minghao finally reaches the top of the stairwell, pausing to catch his breath in an attempt to look presentable to his mentor and possibly his roommate. He stands by the door for a while, mentally preparing himself for the first day of the program. He arrives earlier than the agreed-upon time, so he's not in a rush to make his presence known.

He takes his water bottle out of his bag, puts cool water in it, and helps his poor self finally calm down from his mini workout. He curses whoever designed this stairwell. A five-story building should have an elevator, and arguing that it doesn't need one feels like a hate crime.

He stops himself before arguing with fictitious architects, who are probably long gone, about how old the building looks. Anyway, he finally has a hand on the doorknob to the studio; taking a deep breath one last time, he twists the knob and pushes the door open, the old wood creaking in protest from the force of him opening it. He cringes internally, the squeak passing straight through his skull, making him want to grind his teeth in annoyance.

Still, he doesn’t show his disdain for this geriatric building on his face since his mentor and roommate both whip their heads around to see him at the doorway. Suddenly, having two sets of eyes on you doesn't help the nerves. 

He offers a polite smile, successfully fighting his grimace with a more pleasant expression. Both his mentor and roommate smile back. He noticed his mentor was a lot more relaxed than when he first met him, which makes sense. He is where he's most comfortable—in his very own studio.

Minghao feels the same about his tiny studio back home. He steps further into the bright studio, closing the door behind him. The studio's top floor and many large windows bring loads of natural light, making it feel more comfortable and inviting. Couple that with the fact that it's in a relatively quiet part of the city, and he feels as if his mentor really put thought into every detail of his permanent studio.

Minghao wonders when he will be able to get the studio of his dreams in his art career, but for now, he admires the studio. His mentor greets him and urges him to explore and get acquainted with the space. Since he'll be spending most of his time here in Amsterdam. Minghao nods, dropping his bag on the cubbies near the door and carefully walking around the studio, avoiding the items and canvases scattered around the floor. His mentor seemed to have an organized chaos mindset, seemingly not bothered by the mess or the health hazard tripping on any of these might cause.

He finds it amusing how much of his mentor he finds out about just from looking around his workspace. He has a husband, married young, it seems. He has twin girls, who he can only assume are grown now. He used to have a dog, a poodle named ‘Cloud’ despite being a black poodle. He made prints of older paintings before sending them off to an auction for fundraisers. He remembers those fundraisers very fondly, it seems. 

Minghao also finds the bathroom and takes note of its location for future use; he’s definitely going to use that. He joins his mentor and roommate by the window, then takes the time to drink their morning coffee and watch the birds. His mentor offers him coffee, but Minghao asks if he has tea. His mentor confirms that he does and points toward his pantry, which is just a wooden cubby that he appropriated to be a pantry after he got tired of getting his snacks off the floor, sighting back pains.

Minghao calmly prepares his tea, passively listening to the conversation between his mentor and roommate. They seem to get along well. Maybe his mentor has some fondness for her because she reminds him of his daughters. He could only guess, though.

Minghao finishes making his tea and finally joins them by the window. “Are you guys birdwatching?” he asks, joining in the conversation. 

“Yes! Mr. Jones was talking about how his youngest loved visiting his studio just to view the birds.” His roommate answers, his mentor confirming it. Though he does mention that she doesn’t visit as often—after all, she has a family of her own now—when she visits, she brings his grandchildren with her, which makes the old man happy. 

He adopted his twin girls pretty early in life, seeing them as inspiration for most of his work. The way his mentor talks about his family and life with so much pride makes Minghao think about his future. He wonders if he’ll ever be as proud of his life as his mentor is, but considering he’ll be learning everything this man can offer, he’s pretty confident about that, at least.

After finishing their morning drinks, his mentor started his first assignment for them, one of many he’d assign throughout the program. His mentor was a patient and calm man. His instruction and tips for injecting emotion into your piece were very cohesive; it was almost like he got it down to a science. His enthusiasm and passion for his work were truly remarkable, and getting to witness it and learn from him felt surreal. 

Minghao feels proud of having the opportunity to have him as a mentor. At the end of the day, instead of feeling exhausted, he's excited to learn more from him tomorrow. 

You and Minghao are heading home together after a long day with your mentor, walking silently through the streets; you think that maybe he just doesn't like you, seeing how he practically jumps at every accidental graze of your hands with each other.

You don't really blame him either; your first impression wasn't exactly the greatest, seeing as someone cussed you out in the middle of a Chinese restaurant. That impression was a strong one, but unfortunately, not a good one.

Minghao and you shuffle into the same train car, getting pressed together as a consequence of rush hour. You try not to think about what your roommate, who is basically still a stranger to you, feels like. He's warm, and you can definitely feel that he is in shape. You definitely try not to think about how tall he is or how handsome he is.

He's so polite, too, and very gentlemanly. He's always conscious of his movement and language around you, protecting you from being squeezed in this tiny train car without him even noticing. It was basically second nature to him.

Oh, you're never going to survive with this man for a year; you're definitely not going to stay sane with him living with you. Your mind starts reeling, cursing whatever deity thought it was funny to send over a walking wet dream of a roommate to your sex-deprived self. 

You'd hope Minghao doesn't notice how you fought for your life, trying to have decent thoughts. You felt extremely guilty for thinking of him as such, he's just minding his business, and you're acting like some horny teenager. You hope you don't offend him with how much you flinch in every interaction with him. 

The last thing you'd want is for him to think he was the problem.

Luckily for you, Minghao always seemed to be in his head most of the time, mindlessly picking at the stitching of his shirt and spacing out, it seems. At least you don't have to worry about him secretly being a mind-reader. The chances are low, but they're never zero. 

You also take this as an opportunity to start spacing out, looking out the window to watch the buildings and trees pass by quickly, enjoying the golden glow of the setting sun over the city. This scene makes you feel bittersweet, as if another day has passed. 

You wanted nothing more than to crash in your bed and sleep until the next morning, but for now, in the middle of this train car, you had to be vigilant of your surroundings. Not just because you're a newbie to this place but because you absolutely cannot get so distracted that you start to lean into your roommate like some deranged weirdo subconsciously. 

The train conductor announcing your stop seemed to snap both you and Minghao out of your daydreams. “Could I hold onto you? I don't wanna get swept up in this crowd,” you asked politely, unable to meet his eyes.

“Uh, sure, hold on.” He said, adjusting his messenger bag so it doesn't block your reach of his arm.

Minghao navigates the flowing crowd with a form of familiarity. It surprised you how well he managed to adjust to the movement of such a busy city. Then again, he could have already come from a much busier city than Amsterdam. Still, you need to learn more about him to make assumptions.

Minghao weaves the two of you through the crowds and out of the station, successfully reaching fresh air once you make it to a calmer sidewalk that was already near your apartment. You wanted to ask him so many questions. You realistically had a little over a year to do so, yet you know how quickly a year actually goes by, so you wanted to work quickly, but not too quickly, that you scare the poor man away.

Arriving at your apartment, Minghao fishes his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door, opens it, and gestures for you to enter first. You say a small ‘thank you’ before entering, taking your shoes off at the entrance and hanging up your coat.

Minghao follows you after you hear the door click behind you. The shuffling of his items as they are hung indicates that he is settling down for the day.

“Hey, Minghao?” You start, wanting to lead a conversation to eliminate the awkwardness between you and your roommate; he hums, fully turning his body to you as if to signal that he is listening. “I just wanted to know what you thought of Mr. Jones. You know, not as a mentor, but as a person.” You asked, thinking it was a safe place to start getting to know him.

He thinks about it momentarily, “I can't say right now; I've only ever known him as a leading force in the contemporary circle, but other than that? Not much. Judging from his relationship with his daughters, he seems like a good father and good husband, as he still spoke about his husband fondly and was pleasant to be around. But other than that, I don't know.” He shrugged, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I don't know,” You answer truthfully, “I like him a lot; he reminds me of my dad somewhat, you know, except maybe less of a religious nut.” You joke, gauging to see Minghao's reaction to it; luckily for you, Minghao finds it funny. Offering a restrained pfft- at your quip.

“Yeah, I get that; my dad was the same too. But I like him a lot less than Mr. Jones.” He said through laughter, running his hands through his hair. “I'll go take a shower; see you around, Y/n.” 

And with that, he disappears into his en-suite. 

You celebrate the tiny progress you made with your roommate, and you get to exchange words with him that aren't just common pleasantries. This motivates you to fan the spark of this new friendship, and maybe more, if you play your cards right.

It's too early to say you liked him, but he is objectively very attractive. So you can't really blame yourself for ogling at him. Respectfully, of course.

You also prepare for your night routine, opting to go through your entire skincare routine for the first time in forever after showering. You put on your best pajamas and tuck yourself into bed, dreaming of the day your hot roommate sees you how you want him to.

Kidding, not really.

Minghao has yet to learn what he's doing.

He'd been staring blankly at his canvas for what seemed like a solid 20 minutes, these inner thoughts fighting for dominance and splattering their metaphorical blood all over the pristine canvas.

He wanted to paint something so badly, but alas, getting struck with a severe art block on the second day of his mentorship felt like a sick joke from fate. His mentor watches over their shoulders, monitoring their progress. He seemed to notice Minghao's growing frustration from being stuck, “I think you should take a break, son. You should enjoy some tea by the window and clear your mind to make room for new ideas.” he said gently with a hand on Minghao’s shoulder.

Minghao agrees with him, finally setting his brush down to make his tea as usual before getting comfortable on one of the chairs by the window. He watches the trees sway in the wind, the birds playing on a random rooftop, and the clouds drifting slowly. All of these help calm his racing mind, which is preoccupied with so many things to think about that he doesn't have room to think about new ideas.

Minghao has a nasty habit of overthinking and holding onto ideas that no longer serve him a purpose. He thinks back to the first time he did this, the day he decided to become an artist. He's always known that he wanted to be an artist. He was eight at the time, telling his parents about his dreams for the future. 

Unfortunately, they disapproved of such plans. The first thought Minghao ever held onto was, “You need to aspire to get a real job, not just some useless skill that will leave you with no money.”

The second thought Minghao held onto happened at around the age of 17, just before graduating high school. He decided not to go to college, seeing that he still held out hope that he could become a great artist one day. He wanted to prioritize honing his skills, and his parents, once again, didn't approve of that.

That was the first time he ever felt fear from his parents. Before, he was only met with stern lecturing and maybe being grounded, but he never saw his dad that angry before or ever since. Since that day, Minghao has held onto the following: “If you're going to choose to throw your life away, then so be it. Just don't come crawling back here when you end up on the streets!”

Minghao doesn't want to recall the last thought he held onto; the memory is still fresh and feels like a weapon being used against him. He wished it didn't turn out that way, but it did. And there's nothing he could do to change the facts.

Minghao savors the flavors of his tea before finally trying his best to get rid of all those thoughts he holds onto. He's far away from his parents, far away from the people who could hurt him, and far away from the past.

He finally stops overthinking as soon as he sets his cup down, wiping off his palms on his pants before joining his roommate and mentor again. His head was finally free of any troubles he might've had. But he knows he's never truly free, only temporarily setting it aside to focus on his current goals.

He feels a sense of pride while he is painting this time. Strokes of vibrant color dance across the weaving of the canvas, and his brush glides smoothly and freely across it, finding a path of its own, making its mark like it was always meant to do.

In a way, it was freeing to paint without the pressure of making it look ‘good’, Minghao only had to focus on laying a color down the way it wanted to lay, and this show of emotion sparked a flame of determination in Minghao that he thought he lost so long ago.

Minghao finally sees the colors for what they are again, and in a way, he starts falling in love with creating again. His joy is evident on his face, and the controlled strokes slowly turn into free ones with every passing moment. 

He looks away from his canvas once to look at you, and he smiles the biggest smile you've ever seen on him. And you realize his smile is contagious, absolutely stunning in a way you've never felt before.

That smile was detrimental to your poor little heart, your small crush on him only worsening. You think it's a bit unfair that the universe had to dangle such a gorgeous specimen in front of you. You didn't even have an idea if he was single or not. He could have a wife and kids back home and you'd be none the wiser.

Still, you enjoy his company while you can. After all, it's not like you applied for this mentorship just to mingle. You were here to learn under a great artist, and to gain the experiences necessary to advance your career and skill.

Having a hot roommate is a nice touch, though.

“Hey Minghao?” You ask from the living room, looking up from your book to look at him in your tiny kitchen. 

“Yeah?” He replied, not looking up from the stove. It was the weekend, and Minghao offered to make dinner as you’ve been making breakfast for the past few days.

“Are you in a relationship? If you don’t mind me asking.” You asked, the question has been bugging you for a while now, ever since you realized your tiny crush. You’d feel incredibly guilty if he was in a relationship and you tried shooting your shot with him.

“No. But why do you ask?” He said simply, focusing more of his attention to not burning the food. Stir-frying the noodles with familiarity.

“Nothing, I just thought about it.” You paused, “We’re friends, right?” You finished with a question, thinking that maybe your line of questioning might be too much for someone who doesn’t even consider you more than a roommate.

“Of course. I like your company, I don’t have a reason to try and alienate you.” He said, now with more focus on you as he turned the fire of the stove down. Plating your food in one of the plates your apartment came with.

“Cool. We’re cool.” You said a little awkwardly, thinking that maybe your questioning was a bit too on the nose. Even if he wasn’t a mind-reader, he’ll surely be able to tell that you’re interested in him just from your weird line of questioning in recent days. Surely Minghao isn’t dense.

Minghao called you over to your dining room table, saying that dinner was already served. You rise from your comfortable position on the couch, making your way over to the tiny table in the space between the living room and kitchen.

“I hope you like the food, it's something I always used to make in college. It was one of the few luxuries I could afford, but it’s still very delicious,” he said, serving you a portion before taking some for himself.

“Thank you for making dinner. This looks amazing, I’m honored to try it.” You said, taking in the sight of the food that Minghao made with care. Minghao feels a sense of pride from your praise, sure, he’s not the best cook, but he’s definitely proud of the progress he made in recent years. 

Cooking was one of the first skills Minghao had to learn when he got kicked out of his parents’ place. Having focused all his energy on studying before, he only really had the time to learn how to take care of himself once he was on his own.

Watching you eat his food enthusiastically made Minghao unexpectedly happy. Sharing something he was proud of is often how he tries to get close to people, the little piece of vulnerability made him feel closer to them, like offering a piece of himself to them.

To you, this may have felt like a simple dinner, a meal between two friends in the comfort of their own home. But to Minghao, this was him accepting you into his space. Finally being comfortable enough to associate you to a dish he holds almost sacred.

The days easily turned into weeks, weeks into months, and before you knew it, it's already six months into your mentorship program. The days began to blur into each other, the most interesting thing that happened in the six months was your budding relationship with your roommate, whom you found out to be as much of a hopeless romantic as you are.

Your weekdays were spent at the studio, diligently working under your mentor and improving your art. While your weekdays were spent unwinding and spending time with your new friend. Minghao's taste in movies doesn't differ much from yours, opting to watch romantic movies with happy endings. 

It was during one of these movie nights that Minghao asked you a question, “Do you believe in true love? ‘The one’, so to speak. Someone that is a perfect fit for you as you are to them.”

You think about this question for a bit, “Yeah, I do. It's a little silly to ask for perfection, but if someone is perfect to you, I think that's pretty plausible. Though, I do think true love is more of a choice than just aimlessly searching for them, you know?” You answered carefully, eyes still glued to the tv screen.

“I see,” Minghao started, “do you have an idea what your ‘one’ might be like?” He asked, this time a little more determined to get a more pointed answer from you.

“Not necessarily, but I already have a feeling that I know them already.” You said, relaxing and leaning back onto the couch, “Or, at least I hope I do. And I hope they see me like that too.” You sighed, wishful thinking taking over you again.

Over time, your little crush on Minghao had grown into a genuine romantic interest, especially since learning that he was single a few weeks ago, you started to see him in a different light. Almost as if the confirmation of his availability gave your subconscious the green light to start thirsting over him like a horny teenager.

It also didn’t help that he got comfortable enough to walk around the house shirtless, or worse, with just a towel loosely around his hips, sitting low as he’s fresh out of the shower. This put you in a loop, almost all thoughts being occupied by him in a sick and twisted way.

Some days, you convince yourself that Minghao does this on purpose, trying to kill you in the reflection of the light from his sweet, wet abs.

“Y/n?” He said, breathless. With a whiny tone in his naturally airy voice. 

“Hao? You’re back from your run?” You ask from the kitchen. Trying not to think about how delicious his voice sounded.

“Yeah, I picked up some bread on the way back. Thought it’s go well with the soup you’re making.” He replied as he placed a paper bag of fresh bread on the counter. You turn away from the stove to check out the selection he brought back.

“Hm, you got good taste. I didn’t expect any less.” You say with a proud smile, Minghao’s chest fills with a sense of pride as well. It was always validating to hear from someone else that they trusted your judgment.

The two of you had the day off today, your mentor visiting his daughters somewhere on the other side of the country. Giving the two of you free reign to settle chores that you haven’t been keeping up with.

Minghao offers to help you set the table, but you tell him to take a shower first. Letting that sweat dry on him might make him sick. Or worse, sticky.

He laughs that off, “Oh please, I think you’d want that.” He said suggestively. 

That was a new development too. Minghao is getting bolder with his jokes. His jokes were always tasteful, never trying to push your boundaries. But sometimes you wish he did, just so you’d have the excuse to tell him how much you wanted him.

But for now, with Minghao not showing any interest in acting upon his suggestive jokes, you swallow down the urge to jump his bones. For now, at least.

Your mentor returned from his family visit the next day, with an assignment for both of you. 

Sitting in the studio as usual, your mentor explains what your assignment entails, and how it’ll most likely span the rest of your time here in Amsterdam. He took it upon himself to assign it as a final project for the two of you, finishing this would finish their apprenticeship.

“A local cathedral reached out to me looking for my services. They wanted a mural painted for the interior because it started to look a little too clean after renovations. I think this would be a good opportunity for the two of you to show me what you’ve learned. I give you half a year to finish it, and then, you’ll be done with your mentorship.” He said, voice wispy like a proud father recalling the time when his children were just small, not looking at them, all grown up, he can’t help but tear up.

You and Minghao look at each other, unable to fathom this amazing opportunity that has presented itself to you. You and Minghao eagerly accept the offer, excitedly heading out to check out the said church so you two can plan out what to do for the mural.

The people attending the church are already briefed on the situation, happily showing you around their shiny new church, happy to find new artists to commission for this project. You and Minghao take photos of the interior, wanting to plan around the implements and fixtures, to give everything a cohesive look.

You and Minghao do this for hours walking around the city to look for inspiration along the way, taking in all the sights you didn’t have the chance to take in before. The city was filled with inspiration, ideas flowed out the both of you like a river, and it was so easy to find passion for this project. With a giant canvas and free reign to paint whatever, you and Minghao felt like kids at a candy store.

But suddenly, the sky started to grumble, clouds darkening in a tell-tale way. You hadn’t anticipated the rain, so you both scramble to find shelter as the rain starts to pour. Taking shelter under the awning of an abandoned shop, you both watch as the rain pools and puddles around you. You turn to Minghao, he was a little damp but relatively dry, water dripping from his hair, soaking into his clothes. His mouth was slightly parted from panting, the unexpected run knocked the wind out of both of you.

 At that moment, Minghao looked delectable.

“Hao?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

He only smiles at your question, leaning down to softly press his lips to yours. He had an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, pressing his body to yours. You can feel the warmth of his skin radiating under his clothes, warming you up from the chill of the rain. 

You felt a little light-headed, not just from the lack of air, but because you didn’t expect a random blurt of your desire would lead to Minghao kissing you breathlessly. Not that you’re complaining, not at all, in fact, this made you want him more, softly moaning against his lips before pulling away, remembering that you’re in public. 

“Oh, wow, um.” You start, heads still spinning from the dizzying kiss Minghao had pulled you into. 

He just laughed his signature laugh, joy coursing through his veins. How could he not be happy? An amazing opportunity to advance his career, getting to spend the day in the city with someone he cares deeply for, and getting to kiss her in the rain? Oh, he’s weak in the knees.

This day was perfect, you were perfect. Minghao couldn’t ask for anything more.

You and Minghao started the mural for the cathedral, buzzing with excitement for your first big project, as well as your budding romantic relationship with him. The two of you work on opposite ends of the mural, working to meet each other halfway, and taking the time to get the details down before moving on to the next section. 

In a way, this was reminiscent of how you and Minghao are taking the steps to make this relationship work. Though unlikely that you’d meet like this, you still did, and you’d like to believe it was fate. Both of you agreed not to put a label on it just yet, just enjoying each other's company, and exploring the possibilities of this new romance.

You sneak glances at him every so often, his face scrunched in concentration, focusing on perfecting the sections of the mural he assigned himself to. And sometimes, when he looks back at you, his face instantly relaxes and glows. You love how expressive his face is, almost as if you could tell what he was thinking about at any point. It comforts you how open he is, knowing that he looks at you with genuine affection and adoration. It's fun, it's freeing to feel this way about someone who feels just as strongly.

The two of you worked on the mural until lunch when the two of you decided to take a short break, “Maybe I’ll take this opportunity to take you out on a proper date.” He said cheekily, offering his arm for you to hold.

“Oh, that’d be great. We keep passing by this one restaurant that I’ve been dying to try.” It was an open-concept place, clean and modern but it didn't give off “steak dinner” vibes, it just seemed like a nice sit-down place to have lunch or brunch, if you’re of the local housewife type.

Asking the waitress at the front for a table for two, the two of you were promptly seated at a table facing the street, offering the both of you the menu. Apparently, the menu changes seasonally, this time they offered a variety of vegan dishes, which intrigued you. You never realized vegetables could be cooked in so many different ways.

Your food was served, and the conversation between you and Minghao flowed like free orange juice refills. You both enjoy your lunch, more than you usually do, you don’t know if the food was actually good, or if the company just made it better, but either way, you don’t think you could enjoy a meal without Minghao anymore.

He’s just so charming, kind, and funny. So, so funny. The tables around you started to look at you two funny for all the giggles coming from your table specifically. The restaurant being open-air doesn’t even help to dampen the sounds of your joy, even the hustle and bustle of the street fade to the background with him. It’s just you, and Minghao, and the delicious veggies the two of you decided to have for lunch.

Lunch was over before you realized it. Minghao flags down the waitress, asking for the bill and paying for it himself, much to your protests. Yet, those fall on deaf ears as he winks at you. Offering his arm for you to take again before walking back to the cathedral to continue working on your mural.

The two of you continue to act like love-struck fools, much to the church staff’s chagrin, but it's not like either of you cared, you enjoy his company, and you, his. You haven’t brought up the kiss from before, but you wanted to, mainly to ask him for another one. 

Minghao really wasn’t the type for much skinship, but it’s not as if he’s opposed to it. If you asked, he’d comply. He’s willing to do many things for you, or with you. Minghao thinks it’s too early to call it love, definitely, but it’s really really close to it.

He adores you to no end, no words could describe how much you became an important part of his life in just a few short months. And getting to work with you on this? He almost couldn’t believe it.

Growing up, he always thought love like this only happened in movies or books. But he’s living it right now. He’s living in Europe, doing what he loves the most, and finding an unexpected light in his life. Maybe life does have things worth worrying about. 

Still, ever present in Minghao’s thoughts, is the sinking feeling of anxiety. It’s ugly, rearing its head whenever it can. The last time he felt this strongly about something, it nearly broke him. Minghap always felt too hard, nothing is ever ‘just’ happy or ‘just’ sad for him. His loyalty and devotion is both a blessing and a curse. 

And yet, he still believes in love.

He’s a hopeless romantic, even if it’s scary, even if it’ll hurt, he still holds onto hope that he could get away with it. Making a religion of your lips, worshiping the false god that is your adoration for each other.

It’s ironic to think like that in the middle of a cathedral he thinks, yet, he’s not guilty, not after what the church has done to him, to his once level-headed father.

It was another day of working on the mural, this time, you and Minghao worked until the late hours of the night, until all the church staff bid both of you goodnight, leaving you two to work in the dim light of the chandelier.

“Hey, have I ever told you that this is the first time I went inside a church since I was seventeen?” Minghao started, concentrating on his section of the mural, painting the rosy cheeks of a cherub.

“Huh? No, you haven’t. Why did you stop going to church? If you don’t mind me asking.” You said, a little startled from being broken out of your concentration.

“It’s simple really, my values didn’t align with the church anymore. And, I may have been  in love with a man at the time.” He joked, chuckling at the end of his sentence as if he was reminiscing about something humorous. 

You nod, “You know, I haven’t been in a church for about as long.” you say, setting your brush down to continue speaking, taking a short break to avoid cramping your hand. “I didn’t like how I was basically brainwashed all my life to devote my time and soul to the church, I didn’t feel a connection to religion anymore, not after what my group told me after what that priest did to me.”

Minghao’s expression softened, shoulders dropping with his grip on the brush relaxing. “That’s terrible, I’m sorry that happened to you.” He said, also resting his brush. He walked towards you, offering a hand to help you get off the floor. You take his hand, muttering thanks, and you follow him to the back of the church, in the pews nearest to the altar.

“You know, sometimes I feel as if some unknown force led us to meet each other.” Minghao started, “Think about it, how is it that we’re the only two people in the mentorship program, and how have we managed to fit together so perfectly? I think,” Minghao pauses to lick his lips, “if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have felt this way about them.” 

“I know that confession was a little misplaced, especially after what you just told me. But I just wanted to give you context for my offer,” He said, taking your hand, the warmth of his palm radiating to yours, warming it up, “I want to give your power back to you, I like you a lot, too much really. Ever since that first day, you made me breakfast. And I’d do anything to take that pain away from you.”

“Minghao…” You said, “I like you a lot too. I’m flattered by your confession, and so moved by your offer. But I can’t seem to figure out what your offer is supposed to mean.” 

“You were attacked at a church, violently, as if your body wasn’t yours for a time. I want to override those memories with ours, make it your choice. To have an outlet for your anger.”

You openly gape at him, not believing his offer. He wanted to…?

“Minghao, I want you.” 

It felt cathartic to say that, especially in a place you’d never think to say that. It was satisfying as if a weight had been lifted from you, the burden of memory weighing on your chest being removed, like the first time you could breathe freely again.

Mingahao gently cups your cheek, stroking the flushed skin with the pad of his thumb, slowly turning your head to face him, his lips hovering over yours, “I want you too.” He said before locking lips with you. 

Your hands immediately find their place at the back of his neck, fingers threading to the soft ends of his hair, pressing him closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating through his clothes. Your skin felt hot, like desire was just boiling under your skin, blooming on the surface as a flush of red. Minghao crowds you, kissing you with want, with need. He kissed you, letting his hands do what his lips wanted to, his faith turning into despair. The tragedy of not having a taste of your skin yet, swirls in his gut, manifesting in desperation. He kissed you with urgency, as if this was the only chance to have you like this, his greed taking over his thoughts as it filled his mind with images of you in the most depraved positions, your usually clean image tainted with evidence of his lust.

After all, Minghao is just a man, a man who now finds religion in your lips.

He reluctantly parts from you, surprising you with his strength but lifting you suddenly, walking the short way to the altar. His plans dawn on you as soon as you feel the cool marble under you, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you lock your lips with his again, moaning pathetically and the feeling of his palms snaking their way under your shirt, squeezing and kneading the flesh, taking handfuls of it as he needed it.

He parts from your lips with a whine, panting for air like just running a marathon. He only parts from you for a second, only for his mouth to connect with your jaw, placing open-mouthed kisses on it. Goosebumps litter your skin, his simple touch leaves you shivering in a way you didn’t think was possible. Your legs part and Minghao takes his place between them, now sucking and biting marks into your skin, maroon blooms all over your collarbones, as you pull him impossibly close, bodies flush together perfectly as if it was always meant to be.

You paw at his jacket, wanting to feel him without the barriers of fabric between the two of you. He frantically shrugged his jacket off, and pulled his shirt over his head without being prompted, using his weight to press you down into the marble altar. Takes his time to unbutton your shirt, kissing the skin with every button he undoes.

Warmth ripples under your skin like drops hitting the surface of a still body, each kiss sending a spark of heat directly to your core. Simple, but powerful. The way Minghao delicately worships your skin made a sense of serenity wash over you like a wave, crashing over your restless state.

Minghao rises to meet your lips, again, swallowing the sound of your moans, nipping at your lips. His hard cock presses into your core through his pants, layers of fabric between the places where you needed each other the most. Desperation turns into slight relief from the pressure of your bodies pressing together. 

He takes his time to strip you of your effects, taking time to peel it off of you with care. This is the first time he's seen you in such a compromising position, yet you don't feel pressured or nervous at all. The way he looks at you, it's as if you hung the stars in the sky one by one, just for you to take them in your eyes, a galaxy of secrets waiting to be uncovered; and you're willing to let him explore.

Minghao falls to his knees, fingers pressing into the flesh of your thighs. He presses kisses on your kneecap, slowly inching his way to your core, lips brushing against your skin, making you shiver. You watch as his head of hair reaches the apex of your thighs, placing a kiss on your pelvis, right above where you need him.

He looks up at you briefly, eyes locking with yours as if asking for permission to just dive right in. You nod, giving him the silent permission to do so. He smiles, his eyes fluttering shut as his mouth connects with your core, lips wrapping around your throbbing clit.

Your back arches from the marble, hands frantically searching for his head, threading your fingers through his hair to get a grip on anything. The way the wet muscle that was his tongue guided the swirl of hot desire in your stomach made you dizzy, his eyes shut tightly, and small whimpers left his lips, making you feel the vibrations.

He ate you like a starved man, “Oh, fuck, please-! Keep going!” The frantic pace of his mouth and tongue got more desperate with your praise, your encouragement made him press his face closer to your core, his jose bumping your clit, making him breathe in deep, taking in your scent.

His eyes flutter open at the smell, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and a pathetic, high-pitched whine leaves his lips. His tongue pressed against the spongey spot in your walls, immediately this sends a shiver down your spine, your moans turning into desperate whines, grinding on his mouth.

And Minghao just stops to take it, exaggerating his moans to help you over the edge.

A knot starts to form in your core, only a mixture of pleas of his name leaves your lips as you topple over the edge, reaching your high. Your orgasm was blinding, a hot, white pleasure ripped through you, your body shaking from the impact of such a powerful climax.

Minghao groans as he savors the flavor of your release, drinking it like a sacred Ambrosia. He delicately licks at your folds, careful not to bump into your sensitive clit.

After being satisfied with cleaning you up, Minghao starts to unbuckle his belt, his pants hanging low on his hips. He finally takes his cock out of his boxer briefs, the tip is red and bulbous, angry and leaking. His mouth parts with a moan, licking his plump lips, finally getting the friction he so desperately wanted.

He gets on top of you, his warmth radiating off of him in waves. He brings a hand up to brush your hair away from your face, soaking up every detail, committing the look in your eyes to memory. He looks at you with adoration, eyes clouded with lust yet still shines with the respect he has for you as a person.

In his eyes you were perfect, especially with that fucked-out look on your face, panting and shaking under him.

He kisses you again, this time with less desperation. You could taste yourself on his lips, highlighting your desire for more. He finally guides his cock to your entrance, the tip of it bumping into your clit, a gasp falling from your lips.

You look up at Minghao, a halo of many colors forming around his head, the cross-shaped stained glass behind him glowing brightly in the full moonlight. If it wasn't for the depraved things he's done to you, you'd think that he looked angelic.

Finally, he slowly pushed his cock into you, a shaky breath leaving his lips, taking every ounce of self-control to not start frantically thrusting into you, letting you take the time to adjust to his size. Minghao was bigger than you thought he'd be, the sheer size of his cock stretching you deliciously. 

He pressed your foreheads together, your breathing synchronized. You open your hand on his chest, pressing your palm over his heart, you can feel the steady beating of it, and you can feel him breathe with you. The silence only amplified the feeling of being connected, a kind of vulnerability that you’ve never felt with anyone else before.

You savor his warmth, his closeness to you, before asking him to move. He nods wordlessly, not trusting his voice at the moment. He was buried to the hilt, but he slowly started to pull back until only his head stayed inside you, only to push back in, a wet, lewd squelch of your juices mixing with his echo and rung in your ears.

He started to pick up his pace, intertwining your hands together to gain leverage. “Fuck, you feel so good babe, so warm. So perfect for me.” He said lowly, mind emptying all thoughts except for the feeling of you around him. He can't get enough of you, your image infecting his mind, making a home in every crevice. 

Both of you were very vocal about how good it felt, pleasure rising to a pressure that made both of you light-headed, your grip on his hand tightening with every pointed thrust to the spot where you needed him the most.

His lips meet your neck again, more maroon marks blooming over your skin, marking you with evidence of him. He separated from the skin with a wet pop, his nose brushing against your cheek, his hair tickling the skin, “Please, I need you to cum around my cock. Don't make me beg for it, please, oh- please-” he whimpered in your ear, breathless from the force he was using. 

He turns to kiss you again, both of you swallowing each other's whines and moans as your desperation grows stronger. 

Soon, the coil in your stomach starts to tighten again, you can't hear much over the ringing in your ears, but you do hear the wet slapping of skin together, and the ragged breathing coming from the man above you. You barely registered your own orgasm, you felt like you weren't in your body, like your soul was floating in the space where you felt neither pain nor pleasure. 

Tears ran down your face, your body shaking like a leaf. Minghao watched as your juices squirted out of you, coating his cock and legs with your release. This violently sends him into his own orgasm, barely catching himself with the altar as the force of it knocks the wind out of him, his knees shaking, barely able to hold his weight up.

He almost collapsed into you with how much his body couldn't handle the sensations, his hips never ceasing even with both of your oversensitivity.

He finally stops, both of you winded from the intensity of your sex. He kisses you with finality that night, right at the altar with the light of the cross over you.

It's been months since you and Minghao started the mural, and also started hooking up. The first time you slept with him was certainly not the last. You were sure you desecrated every inch of this sacred space, as well as every corner of your shared apartment. 

But, all good things come to an end. 

Today was the day you finally added the finishing touches to the mural, marking the end of your program, and the end of your time in Amsterdam. 

Your mentor was pleased with how it turned out, he was proud of how far the both of you have gotten in your skills. And decided to throw a party in his studio to celebrate the completion of your final project. 

You and Minghao skirt around the idea of what will happen next after the program ends, enjoying the company of your mentor and the few friends you've made in Amsterdam. 

It was after the party that things finally started to feel grim, each item you packed into your suitcase felt like heavy weights or a nail in the coffin of your relationship with Minghao.

You couldn't fathom going back to reality, back to your lonely apartment without the anticipation of waking up and making breakfast for him. 

You realized too late that you loved him.

“What happens to us now?” His question surprised you, you didn't think he was thinking about this as hard as you were. 

“Well, we go back to where we came from. Go on with our lives, I guess.” You reply, too cowardly to admit what you truly felt, as it'll only hurt more.

“That's it?” He asked incredulously, “You don't want to even try to make this work?” His tone wasn't one of anger or disappointment, Minghao had always been an expressive person, but this was something worse. Hurt.

“Minghao I-” You start, but he cuts you off,

“Well, you know what? Okay. It's okay- just… if there's ever a next time. Meet me in Amsterdam. Please, at least, try for me?”

You nod, your breathing becoming shaky as tears begin to well in your eyes. You hug him tightly, almost as if it'll be the last time you ever see him.

But no, there will be a next time. No matter how long it'll take.

You let the tears fall when the plane finally took off. 

It's been several years since your time in Amsterdam, your experience there marked you in more ways than one. 

Your art career found success after the mural you worked on with him received critical acclaim. Opening galleries and exhibits all around the world, people enjoy the art you made greatly. 

You find yourself in the place where it all started, Amsterdam. 

“So, there really is a next time, huh?” You said, your voice was calmer than you expected it to be, especially with being overcome with such intense emotions.

Minghao smiles at you, wordlessly coming in to hug you.

“I'm not letting you go, not this time.”

[loafgeto]

BOY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER | choso

choso kamo x fem!reader

synopsis: you and yuji are the closest in your little group of friends, but there’s one secret you haven’t told him: you have a huge crush on his eldest brother.

contents: fem!reader, 18+ mdni, explicit language, she/her pronouns, virgin reader, foreplay, dirty talking, praising, cunninglus, fingering, overstimulation, orgasms, corruption kink, protected sex → unprotected sex, pet names (baby, angel), soft/gentle choso. fluff at the end(?), not proofread!!

word count: 7.1k (longest one yet😍)

notes: reposted for the millionth time… pls, let me just feed my readers.

You’ve known Yuji ever since your first year of high school. The two of you became exceptionally close, as if you both were born in the same womb. He was like your older brother— since he was older than you, and extremely supportive and kind. Sure he enjoyed playing jokes and messing around with you, and there would be bickers between the two of you, but you both would find ways to solve your problems.

A lot of people have easily mistaken you two to be in a relationship, it was normal for the two of you. Some asked if you’ve kissed, or even fucked. Of course, none of those are true— but most assume you’re just too shy to admit.

Either way, you and Yuji don’t allow the misconceptions of others impact your relationship. It’s been roughly four years since the two of you became friends. And honestly, it’s good to say you two know each other from the back of your heads. There were never much secrets or anything hidden between the two of you.

Well, except one.

You know Yuji never forces you to tell him everything but he was always the first person you’d go to when something happened or came to your mind. It was a secret you’ve been quiet about for an entire year, and it’s gotten to the point where you’re starting to feel guilty for not telling Yuji.

It was a month before this secret of yours occurred. You were invited to Yuji’s house due to the amounts of homework assigned and you planned to stay the night. You knew Yuji had three older brothers, but you’ve only ever met two of them. His eldest brother was occasionally occupied with his job and was barely home, so you never met him until that night.

When you first met Choso, it was like the same interaction you had with his other brothers. You both shook hands and introduced each other, but he was rather reserved and didn’t necessarily want to converse much due to the workload he receives each day. You couldn’t blame Choso though, and figured he’d come around.

Well, it was more like you did.

You found yourself spending most days at Yuji’s house, especially when Choso was around. You both grew quite a bond, and Yuji was extremely happy to see his best friend get along with all of his three brothers. Choso used to return home around 10pm each weekday night, but after a couple months, he begin returning around 6pm.

This gave you more interactions with Choso, and eventually, you began developing feelings for him.

You couldn’t grasp how or when you started receiving these feelings about him. It was just— one day, you were looking at him and talking to him, unable to break your gaze while your heart raced quick. You were flustered, breaking your words and trying to remain calm. Choso never brought the fact up either, and seemed rather unaware about it.

And you were embarrassed to tell Yuji about your huge crush on his elder brother, so you just remained silent and pretended as if nothing was bothering you. Of course, Yuji often noticed your moods and always questioned what was worrying you, but you always dismiss it and claim you were just having a gloomy day.

Yuji had no reason to question you further. He was an optimistic person, who causally lightens the mood of others and makes the atmosphere more pleasant and cheery. And because Yuji perceives your relationship with his brothers as casual and friendly, he never suspected anything.

You've seen numerous situations where someone had a major crush on their best friend's sibling, and the outcome was either good, or bad. And now that you're in the situation, you anticipated on the worse outcome.

"Hello? Y/n?" Yuji taps your shoulder, causing you to snap away from your thoughts. You turn to him and he chuckles. "What are you thinking so much about?"

"Oh. Nothing, of course. I'm just dozing off easily today," you reply with a small smile. You couldn't admit to Yuji that you were day dreaming about his older brother.

"Is something bothering you? Like for real?" Yuji tilts his head, sounding genuinely concerned. He noted that this behavior has been frequent, and he worried that you were facing issues that caused you to daze away like this.

"Not really. I'm just getting small sleep, that's all. Don't worry too much," you try to reassure Yuji, and your friend nods, seeming to back off since it appeared you didn't want to talk further more about it.

"Well.. anyway, wanna have a sleepover tonight? All of my brothers are home, plus it's a three day weekend! We can all stay up and play games- oh! Or even watch an entire movie franchise- like the Hunger Games with Jennifer Lawrence!" Yuji quickly switches the topic, sounding enthusiastic as he mentions this sleepover.

Sleepovers were common between you and Yuji, and your parents even paid no mind to Yuji spending the night at your place. So, you accepted. Not only because the sleepover was going to be fun, but because Choso was going to be there too. Your heart began beating fast as the image of Choso pops in your head and you refrained yourself from smiling too much in front of Yuji.

"I'll come by around 5. Gotta pack my stuff and help mom cook rice before I leave," you inform Yuji, who nods while pulling out his phone.

"I wish Megumi and Nobara can join us, sucks that they're going out of town this weekend," Yuji sighs in disappointment.

Your other two friends- Nobara and Megumi, were often occupied with their own things. There were several times where you four had sleepovers other than hanging out, but you all still were the bests of friends. You heard that Nobara was going to another city for her weekend, while Megumi was visiting his dad a few towns outside of Tokyo.

“Come on, let’s head back to class,” Yuji says, groaning as he jumps out of the chair he was in.

Lunch period was about to end soon, so the two of you left the cafeteria and joined up with your friends that were already in the classroom. Needless to say, the rest of the school day flashed by at an instant and you were already heading home.

You were honestly too excited as you walked the entire way home with Nobara, since she lived a few streets away from you. While she was babbling about some of her shopping experiences, you were pondering about what to wear, what perfumes to bring, or whatever would get Choso’s attention. Should I wear my expensive lingerie just incase? You thought.

“You’re not even listening to me,” Nobara nudges you away from your thoughts and you turn to her with an apologetic expression.

“I’m sorry, Nobara. I’m just spacing out a lot today,” you give the same excuse, smiling awkwardly.

“You’re always spacing out,” Nobara smirks before leaning close. “You got a boy on your mind?”

Blood quickly rushes to your cheeks and you turn to her, immediately shaking your head to which she laughs.

“Hah! Yes you fucking do have a crush on someone!” Nobara’s smile grows wider as she steps closer to you. “Come on~ tell me! Who is it? I won’t tell anyone! Oh, let me guess- Yu—“

“What! No, no! No way, definitely not Yuji!” you decline quick, glaring at Nobara.

“Well that means you do like someone though.”

“I don’t.”

“Don’t lie, yes you do!” Nobara huffs, furrowing her brows as she continues to nag you about your crush. But you just didn’t answer her at all. “Come on, I won’t tell a soul. Not even Megumi!”

“Bye, Nobara. My house is this way,” you roll your eyes at her with a grin, as you quickly retreat down your street to your house.

“Y/n!! I’m going to find out!!” Nobara shouts after you.

You sigh, feeling relieved that Nobara didn’t follow you and further inquire you about your crush. Of course, it wouldn’t necessarily be bad to tell her or anyone at all, but you still felt embarrassed, let alone anxious.

For one, Nobara had a thing for Choso. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a huge fat crush, but she considered him to be quite attractive and would definitely date him. Yuji heard the statement, of course, and immediately declined her being his older brother’s girlfriend. So imagine Yuji reacting to your crush on Choso.

Well, you didn’t want to imagine it further.

Shaking those thoughts away, you quickly enter your house. You change into a set of comfortable clothes before entering the kitchen to prepare rice so that your mother would have less work to do when she arrives home. You texted your parents that you’d be staying at Yuji’s afterwards, and got to packing.

You were probably going to stay the entire weekend, so you packed enough clothes until then. You gathered your woman products, skin products and shower products and other essentials you needed. And just incase, you wore your nice and expensive lingerie.

Not that you expected anything to happen, though you were somewhat hopeful. It was easy to imagine because you’re still a virgin. And it was imaginary to have Choso be your first time. But you just couldn’t help it at all.

You left the house afterwards and made your way to the nearest bus stop to get to Yuji’s house. He lived farther away from you, though it wouldn’t hurt walking there by feet, you just decided to take the bus since it’d be easier for you.

The bus ride lasted 20 minutes and soon enough, you arrived in Yuji’s quiet and welcoming neighborhood. You didn’t know a lot about their parents, but Choso was primarily the one taking care of his siblings. He worked countless of jobs, trying to earn enough money while going to school. He honestly did everything for his younger brothers, and he was able to get them all a nice house in the neighborhood. You admired Choso for that too.

You step onto the porch, pushing your suitcase with you before pressing the doorbell. It was about 5pm, so Choso mustn't been home yet. You waited by the door for several minutes, and heard footsteps on the other side of the door.

As the door clicked and swung open, you expected to see a smiling Yuji standing there- but instead, it was Choso. Your mouth slightly dropped as you saw him. Of course, you didn't expect to greet him first.

"Oh, you're here," Choso says, stepping to the side to allow you inside. "Need me to carry your stuff?"

"Ah, no, it's fine," you give Choso a reassuring grin, feeling blood rush to your cheeks as you stepped into the house. Choso nods, closing the door afterwards and follows you into the living room. "Where's Yuji?"

"He's in the game room with Kechizu and Eso," Choso replies, watching as you push your suitcase close to one of the sofas and he returns his attention to your figure. "Do you want to try my cream puffs?"

"Cream puffs?" you turn to him, raising a brow. You notice that he was wearing an apron, long sleeves rolled past his elbows, and hair tied back into his usual two high pony tails. He wore his usual aloof expression, but when it came to you, his expression seemed to soften.

Choso nods. "Yuji told me you were sleeping over this weekend, so I decided to try making cream puffs. I've only made three so far," he replies, directing you into the kitchen.

You follow him, smiling and becoming even more excited to try the dessert he prepared. "I would love to try some."

Choso grabs a plate with three cream puffs on the top as you followed him. He turns to you, gesturing you to take one. “This is my first time making them, so tell me how they are.”

You nod, taking the cream puff in the middle. You examined the dessert for a brief moment, it looked tasty of course and for Choso’s first time making them, it was amazing already. You smile at him before taking a decent bite out of the cream puff. You could taste buttery and lightly rich flavor, especially with the pastry’s cream.

“They’re amazing, Choso! You should definitely make some more,” your eyes brighten and your smile becomes wider as you take another bite of the cream puff. Choso was initially a great cook, and anything he made would turn out perfect.

“I’m really glad you like them,” Choso couldn’t help but grin at your reaction to the pastries.

Hearing you compliment him made him feel some sort of way he couldn’t describe. Maybe it was from all of the years spent working hard to make sure his siblings got what they needed to live a happy life. He never stopped to take care of himself, or done anything in his own time since he was always working or taking care of his brothers. Choso never complained or expressed his concerns, exhaustion or anything to his brothers, due to not wanting them to worry. And they always assumed he was just fine.

Choso decided to try one of the cream puffs next, surprised at how good they actually turned out. He was definitely going to make more and share with his brothers, and you, of course. He was glad that he took time off work today.

“I’ll make some more. You can join Yuji and the others upstairs,” Choso says, placing the plate down before returning to the rest of his baking materials to create more of the pastry.

“I can help— if you want,” you offer with a smile and he turns to face you again.

Choso contemplated, but he nods his head shortly afterwards. “Sure. Just put on an apron.”

You nod before walking over to the wooden drawer beneath the kitchen counter. You pulled it out before grabbing a simple white apron with a bunny sewed onto it. After lacing it around you and washing your hands, you joined Choso’s side.

As he was beginning to demonstrate on how to combine the pieces of the cream puff, your mind quickly went somewhere else. The idea of you being alone with Choso made your heart skip beats, and you could feel your face becoming hotter as you realize how close you were to him.

It felt as if you two were on a home cooking date. It was insane to think about such things, especially if you aren’t even dating— but you couldn’t help it at all.

“It’s quite simple and easy once you get the gist of it,” Choso remarks as he finishes creating his cream puff. He then hands you the piping bag with the cream filling and gestures you to fill the choux pastry prepared beforehand.

You take the piping bag into your own hands as Choso moves to the side, observing how you moved your hands. You were becoming nervous, feeling his gaze directly on you and you were definitely going to mess up.

“You got this. There’s no need to be anxious,” Choso assures, pressing a hand against your back to relieve some tension. "Here."

Choso stands behind of you, his build completely towering over you as he places his hands over yours. You didn’t move an inch as he begins guiding your hands with the piping bag to fill the choux pastry, and you could feel his hot breath lightly brush against your ear.

You could feel your heart pounding in your eardrums and you turn your head slightly, noticing how close his face was to yours. Everything about him was just so appealing, and you wish you could just kiss him in that moment.

“Got it?” Choso questions.

“Yeah.. I got it,” you reply with a nod as Choso removes his hands away from yours, but he still remained standing behind you as you picked up the cream puff that was just made.

You took a bite out of it, not noticing Choso was still there and turn around. “Choso?”

Choso tilts his head, noticing how some of the cream got on the side of your mouth. “You got some on your mouth,” he says and lifts his hand, using his thumb to brush off the cream. The gesture was completely unexpected and you swore your heart could leap out of your chest.

He was still so close to you, and you refrained from making any awkward or flustered expressions as he licks the cream off his thumb. You both stare at each other for a brief moment after that, not speaking until Choso initiates a step closer to you.

“Y/n, there’s something I want to ask you,” Choso begins and he reaches for your hand.

At that moment, alarms went off in your head and you’re internally panicking. This was one of the moments you’ve been dreaming of and waiting for, but you don’t even know how to react properly. You open your mouth, about to respond as he was leaning forward to grab your hand.

“Do you-“ Choso starts to say, but he was completely cut off when someone rushes down the stairs.

“Big bro, is Y/n here—?!” Yuji’s voice echoes from the stairs. Your eyes widen slightly as you drop the cream puff from your hand and quickly push Choso away when Yuji steps into the kitchen. “yet— oh, you are here! When did you get here?!”

You give Yuji a bright smile as you walk past Choso, patting your hands against your apron. “Been here for a little bit. Just decided to help Choso make some cream puffs, since you were busy playing video games,” you reply, furrowing your brows at Yuji.

Yuji slaps his hands together and slightly lowers his head. “Sorry, forgive me!”

“It’s fine. I got to eat some cream puffs though!”

“Whaat, big bro, are you still making some?!” Yuji asks, tilting his head to look at Choso who was picking up the cream puff you dropped.

“Yeah,” Choso nods, not giving you or Yuji a look before facing his back against the two of you. “I’ll make some more. You guys go have fun.”

“Great!” Yuji excitedly replies before returning his gaze back to you. “Come on, come on. Kechizu just got a new multiplayer game for all of us to try and play! We need a fourth player!”

You give Yuji a nod before he starts walking out of the kitchen. You remove the apron from your body and glance at Choso, who still had his back facing against you. You didn’t want to blame Yuji for ruining the moment, but you were curious on why Choso acted like that.

Well, it wasn’t like you could inquire about it since Yuji came back to drag you away. But it remained occupied in your head as you joined Yuji and his other two brothers in their video game.

Choso shortly joined after, bringing along a small plate of at least 10 cream puffs. He didn’t utter anything and just quietly sat on one of the bean bags while you, Yuji, Eso, and Kechizu all bickered loudly over the video game.

You glanced at him occasionally, and he had that same aloof expression while watching the four of you. The two of you would make short eye contact, but you’d always be the one to break away first. You felt flustered— embarrassed, especially because that moment in the kitchen earlier remained in your mind.

For the remainder of the evening, you avoided long eye contact with Choso. The atmosphere continued to be cheery, as Yuji and his other brothers were lightening the mood with their loud voices and enthusiasm. It got you distracted for a while.

When dinner time came around, Yuji suggested takeout instead so Choso didn’t have to cook, and Kechizu ordered a large family takeout platter from a local Japanese restaurant. You ended sitting next to Choso while you all were dining, and it was somewhat awkward. But you and Choso didn’t make it obvious, so there were no further complications.

Afterwards, the five of you gathered by the large TV in Yuji’s room and watched one of the Hunger Games movies— because Yuji wanted to. It was boring, since you’ve all seen the series countless of times but Yuji would never get bored of it.

And shortly enough, you all fall into a deep slumber.

It was late into the night now, and you happen to wake up several hours after everyone else had fallen asleep. The entire house was quiet, and you could hear the faint sounds of everyone sleeping, minus Eso’s snores.

You adjusted your eyes to the darkness around you, before getting up slowly. You were lying on Yuji's bed while Yuji was on the other side, hands and legs sprawled out. Kechizu and Eso were sleeping on Yuji's couch by the TV, and Choso was sleeping while sitting up on one of the bean bags.

Ignoring your thoughts, you close your eyes in order to return to sleep. But no matter what, you just couldn’t. After tossing and turning to find a comfortable position, you decided to get up for a glass of water.

You leave Yuji’s bed and slip out the room and quietly walk down the stairs. You read the clock by the door, and it was about 2:30 in the morning. You enter the kitchen, walking towards the fridge and opening it before grabbing a cold water bottle.

The image of Choso popped in your head again, and you could only let out a sigh. Who knew what was going to happen now? Was it going to be awkward— or would you two act as if nothing’s happened? You quickly open the lid of the bottle before gulping down half of the liquid. You figured if you didn’t act awkward, and as if nothing happened, then the two of you would be fine.

“Y/n?”

Choso calling out to you immediately causes you to jump slightly from your spot, and you turn to him with a surprised expression before glaring. “Please don’t scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Choso replies, stepping further into the kitchen. Even though it was dark, you could still see his silhouette and as he went closer, you were able to see his face. “Can’t sleep?”

You shake your head, putting the water bottle in your hand down on the kitchen counter. “I guess I’m still energetic from earlier— when we were playing the games,” you reply a lie, not wanting to admit that he was the reason why you couldn’t sleep.

Choso went silent for a moment, until he approached you closer. “Can we talk about what happened before that?”

“H-Huh? Before that?”

“I wanted to ask you something,” Choso continues, now standing directly in front of you. His dark eyes pierced into yours, and your heart rate began pacing fast again. “Y/n, how do you feel about me?”

“I..” it took you several moments to even utter something, as you were completely astonished from his blunt question. He was so close to you, watching how you reacted while desperately waiting for an answer. But before you could even continue your answer, Choso sighs softly.

“I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward position. You don’t have to answer my question if you aren’t comfortable,” Choso starts backing away, lifting an hand to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. “Just forget I asked and we can just act as if nothing happened.”

Choso turns around, starting to walk out. You’re uncertain of what to do, but your body responds before your brain could and you follow him. You quickly wrap your arms around his waist and press your face against his broad back.

“I like you, Choso,” you murmur, but enough for him to hear clearly.

There was a brief pause before Choso turns around to face you. At that moment, you couldn’t describe how you felt— you were just all over the place since you basically confessed. His eyes were slightly wide, but he looked relieved and a smile forms on his lips.

Choso doesn’t reply and only pulls you forward in order to press his lips against yours. With no hesitation, you return the kiss as your hands grip his shirt. The moment was surreal, and even it if was just a dream, you wanted to feel the moment.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to kiss you,” Choso speaks once he pulls away, keeping his lips near yours. “Been waiting too long.”

“Me too.. Been wanting you ever since we met, Choso,” you reply, nearly unable to meet his gaze until he kisses you once again.

“I’ve been bad. So fucking bad,” Choso continues as he pulls away again, gently pushing you back against the wall before smashing his lips onto yours more passionately. You let out a soft moan into his mouth as you feel his body press against yours. Choso places a hand on your hip, while the other moves to hold your jaw. He pulls away again, “I was always thinking about you. Always thinking about how I could make you mine. I even changed my shifts so that I can come home early to see you whenever you visited.”

���C-Choso..”

You pull Choso back to kiss him again, sparing him no time to continue rambling about his feelings but it was very much mutual. The moment was tensed with passion, and you both quickly became addicted to one another.

Choso moves his lips to your cheek, down to pepper kisses on your jaw and then along your neck. You bite your lower lip, unable to refrain the arousal you were receiving from him.

“W-Want you s’bad.. Choso..” you mutter with a short whimper, a hand going up to grasp his hair that was becoming loose. “Have always wanted to feel your kisses.. and your touch.”

Choso grits his teeth. Goodness, you were too cute. He still honestly couldn’t believe that you reciprocated his feelings. You were always with Yuji, laughing snd smiling— always having a good time. Choso, like many others, found it easy to believe that you were infatuated with Yuji.

“Damn it. You make me want to ruin you,” Choso quietly says before he gently takes your hands into his. “Come on.”

He leads you back up the stairs and pass Yuji’s room, where everyone else remains dead asleep, and quietly into his room down the hall. When you both enter inside, he quickly shuts the door before pulling you close for a deep kiss.

The room was filled with the soft sounds of your kissing and muffled noises, and Choso couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you. He walks you back towards his bed and pushes you down, lips still against yours.

You tug Choso’s shirt as his body hovers over you. He was showering you with kisses all over your face and body, touching you like how you’ve always imagined him doing. “Fuck.. touch me more,” you coo as Choso moves to kiss your jaw.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” Choso asks, brushing his hand over your thigh.

“I-I don’t know.. everywhere-“ you reply, quite uncertain. You were practically new to this but no matter where Choso touched, he was able to pleasure you either way.

“You have to be more specific so I don’t make you uncomfortable,” Choso frowns slightly, lessening his touch on your inner thigh which makes you squirm. He acknowledged that you were inexperienced and timid, but he remained patient. “Do you want to show me instead?”

You nod, guiding his hand near your inner thighs. He understood quite frankly, seeing how much of a mess you already were under him. Choso gives you another kiss, but on the forehead before rubbing his hand against your inner thigh, causing you to tremble slightly.

It all was causing you to soak your panties, and you guide Choso’s hand that was on your thigh underneath the shorts you were wearing. You had no idea what came over you, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. Even Choso was surprised with your gesture but he didn’t stop.

You felt the tip of Choso’s fingers rub against your wet folds and you moan softly as a response. “You’re so wet..” Choso comments quietly, proceeding to rub two of his fingers against you before pushing them in.

The sensation of his fingers spreading you causes you to gasp and you return your hand to grip his shirt. Choso doesn’t move his fingers, instead he waits for you to adjust to them.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks next but you quickly shake your head.

“K-Keep going..” you murmur, and Choso could feel your walls clench around his two fingers.

Choso could feel blood rush to his already hardened dick, and he starts pumping his fingers in an out of you at steady pace. He was still able to receive soft moans from you, and you held him close as he gradually starts increasing his pace.

Shortly after, he slips off your shorts and underwear, spreading your legs apart to thrust his fingers deeper. You hold back your louder moans, as it was still late into the night and you can’t wake the others up.

Choso peppers kisses against your chest before moving down for your crotch area. He gives you a glance and you nod before he latches his mouth against your clit and slowly began moving the same fingers in and out of you. Your moans start to penetrate through your sealed lips, and your hand grips Choso’s hair.

His circles his tongue around your clit slowly and lazily, and curled his fingers to rub your g-spot. “Always thinking about this pussy. So, so beautiful,” he comments.

You moan as a response, indicating that he was pleasuring you too well. You have never felt his sensation before, but you knew damn well that it was addicting. You were practically craving for more now that you know the feeling, especially from Choso. The way your body reacted to his touch caused him to increase his pace, and his eyes raise to meet yours as he fucks your pussy with his mouth and fingers.

“Ohh, fuck yes. That feels- s’good,” your voice breaks at how deep and fast his fingers thrusts into you, making your back arch. It felt so different from your own fingers and you were quickly reaching your orgasm.

“You close, baby?” Choso questions, pulling his lips away but still thrusting his fingers. You give him a nod, being unable to properly respond with words. His lips meets yours once again, and the two of you share a rough, passionate kiss.

Choso’s fingers began thrusting quicker, to the point the wet squelching noises of your pussy began resonating the room. He covers your mouth with his as your moans kept coming out and he knew you were reaching your high.

He pulls away, going back down to flick his tongue against your clit. At that moment, the two of you couldn’t care less at who was hearing you. Both of your hands grip the bed sheet as you release over his mouth and fingers, a loud mewl following after.

Choso licks his mouth clean, before licking the other wet areas of your body where you cum got on. He kisses you, pressing his tongue against yours and you two share a sloppy kiss before he leans back to stand up. He was so goddamn hard, and you could even see the tent in his pants. Choso was so pussy drunk, and so desperately wanting to shove his cock into your virgin pussy.

“Please.. Choso..” you whimper, spreading your legs wider for him. “I need your cock in me..”

Something snapped in Choso as you said that and he couldn’t wait any longer now— seeing how your pussy was waiting for him. Choso pushes his pants and boxers down, freeing his throbbing hard cock. Your eyes watch as he pumps his dick a few times with pre-cum leaking out and he leans over to open a drawer next to his bed.

He grabs a condom kept inside and quickly opens it, slipping it on his cock. “This okay, baby? Are you ready?” he asks and you only nod again before he aligns himself against your wet entrance.

Your lips tremble as you feel the tip of Choso’s cock push into you slowly. It felt weird, and your reaction immediately causes him to stop moving. “Are you uncomfortable?” he asks again.

“N-No.. I’m okay,” you reassure, grabbing his forearms that were propping your thighs. His tip was already stretching you out, and you couldn’t imagine his entire length in you just yet.

Choso nods before slowly pushing his cock in all the way. You both let out a gasp, and Choso could feel your tight walls clenching so hard around him. It hurt, and you could feel tears reaching your eyes. He starts rocking his hips sensually, allowing you to adjust to him and the feeling.

“You okay?” Choso asks again, leaning down to kiss your cheek. He notices your welled tears, wiping away the ones that were poking out.

“Y-Yes..” you reply as your hands interlock with his, feeling his cock rub your walls so well. “It hurts..”

“I know, baby. Do you want me to stop?” Choso whispers, kissing away your tears that streamed down the side of your face.

“No, no. It’s okay. It feels good too..” You shake your head, eyes shutting as you adjust yourself to the feeling. “Faster..”

Choso was quite appalled but he didn’t decline your request. He starts thrusting faster, moving your hands over your head and grunting lowly at your tightness. It aroused Choso to know that he was the first, your first and how you practically wanted him to be the first.

Your moans fall out each thrust he gives, and his pace starts fastening as you wrap your legs around his waist. Choso was so deep into you, wrecking your walls and turning you into a sex lover. You never thought it would feel this great, and you understood why so many people were addicted to it. Choso then kept his mouth on yours as he fucked you faster, balls slapping against your pussy and you could feel him drill his cock deeper and deeper.

"Mmh- fuck!" you mewl out as Choso pulls his lips away, pounding you in the position.

"I knew I'd love this pussy of yours," Choso grunts, pulling his cock out before guiding your body over so that you'd lay on your belly. He places his hands on your hips, pushing them back against his and sliding back into your aching hole.

"S-So deep!" you cry out, feeling his entire length sink deeper into your pussy.

Choso grips onto your hips as he thrusts his cock quickly into you, his hips slamming against your ass cheeks. You bury your face in the sheets of his bed, refraining your erotic moans to echo the entire room. But it just felt too good- his cock and this position that allowed his cock to make him feel so fucking deep in you.

You throw your head back slightly as your hands move underneath your chest to prop up. Choso leans forward, eyes nearly shutting because of how good your pussy felt around him. He was nearly reaching his orgasm and he knew you were close again too.

"'m so close- Choso!" you utter through your moans, more pleasured tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Me too, angel. Fuck," Choso groans, groping your ass to the point his hands could leave a print.

A knot forms in your stomach when Choso's cock rubs against your g-spot each deepening thrust and your head drops to the mattress as your moans uncontrollably escape your mouth and bounce off the walls of his room.

"Baby- shit. You gotta lower your voice," Choso reminds, groaning as your pussy clenches his cock again.

"I-I know.. But I can't.." you reply, covering your mouth with a hand.

Honestly, Choso found it slightly amusing, yet cute about how you were trying to keep quiet but couldn't. And even though he was the one to tell you to lower your voice, he wanted to pound into you faster, and deeper- and make more moans escape past your pretty lips.

“C-Cumming..” you utter beneath your hand covering your mouth, and Choso hastily slips his cock as you came all over him.

You’ve never came this much before— it was appalling to see how much you can cum. Your mind was dizzying and fogging up, and you could feel Choso pull his cock out. He was panting heavily, hands still holding your hips before he uses one to slip off the condom filled with his cum.

Yet, he was still hard.

“Again,” you say, turning yourself around and pulling him close by placing your hands on his nape. “Wanna ride you, Choso..”

Choso didn’t expect you to want to keep going, but he couldn’t resist the urge of wanting to see you ride him. After you situate yourself on Choso’s lap with his guide, he rests your hands on his shoulders. You bite your lower lip, quite conflicted because you didn’t even know how to ride a dick properly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll guide you,” Choso reassures, caressing the side of your face before leaning towards the drawer to grab another condom.

But you stop him and shake your head. “No protection.. it’s okay.”

Choso raises a brow. “You sure, baby? It’s risky without it.”

“It’s okay.. promise. I trust you.”

Choso’s heart ached at the way you softly spoke of how you trust him, and he nods his head before returning his hands to the side of your hips. He props you up with his strength before pressing the tip of his cock at the entrance of your swollen pussy.

He gives you a final look before guiding your body down, and his raw cock pushes pass your folds. You both moan in unison as Choso’s entire length fits into you perfectly. The bare skin of his cock in you was entirely different from when the condom was on, and Choso could also feel how different your insides were.

Choso starts guiding your hips up and down on his cock, and you’re both moaning, staring at each other with affection and lust. Your grip on Choso’s shoulders tighten as he indirectly allows you to bounce by yourself, allowing you to experience.

You’re on your heels as you bounce on his throbbing cock, moaning and mumbling his name as you’re clenching him whenever you slide your hips upward. Choso’s watching intently, low grunts increasing as he feels your pussy taking him just as he’s always imagined.

“You’re doing so fucking good, angel. Fuck- keep riding me like that,” Choso praises, his head leaning back as you start bouncing faster. You’re literally uncertain whether or not you’re moving correctly, but with the guide of Choso’s hands and his reaction, you assumed you were doing good.

You could feel the tip of his cock smack the entrance of your womb whenever you sink his entire length deeper into you, and you’re looking at him for more direction since you still clearly didn’t know what else to do. Choso used his hands to guide your hips to grind forward on his dick, and he looks at you.

“Just like this, baby.”

You take what Choso guided you to do in mind and then action, seemingly noting that he enjoyed those certain movements. Now, he’s the one moaning louder, whimpering lowly and muttering how amazing your pussy was.

He initially starts lunging his hips up as your bounces on his cock become more erratic, and he cups your ass. “C-Choso! Your cock- feels so, so good,” you could only utter as your legs start trembling, and you’re barely unable to keep yourself up.

“Yeah? I’m all yours now, baby- I’ll give this cock to you whenever and wherever you want,” Choso groans, gently tightening his grip on your ass as he starts controlling his thrusts up into you again. “Fuck- let me be your boyfriend. Please, angel.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” you nod your head, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close for a deep kiss.

Before Choso could reach his final orgasm, he quickly pulls you off him and his cum shoots all over the floor of his room. You both pull away from the kiss, panting heavier and fall back against the bed.

Choso stares up at his ceiling, taking in what just happened. Hearing your pacing heartbeat and heavy pants, he lifts a hand to gently rub your back.

“You okay?” he inquires.

“Mhm..” you reply, snuggling yourself close to him.

Choso chuckles softly, more elated with the fact that you were now his, and he was yours. He’s never necessarily been in an official relationship, besides from the experiences of blind dates or one night stands. He’s met a few nice girls, but he wasn’t into them the way he was into you. When he first met you, he was originally happy to know that his younger brother had a good friend. But as you often came around, he started to notice the little things about you. And one day, he just discovered how deeply he was falling for you.

He was always occupied with his job and taking care of his siblings that he subsequently forgot about his own health and care. But you were there— making sure he had his dinners, chatting with him about his day, making Yuji and the other two help clean up the house so he didn’t have to. And in order to see you often, Choso started sending in requests about changing his schedule to the main office. It took a few months, but with how diligently he worked, he was granted the schedule change. And he was so grateful, because it allowed him to spend more time with you— even if you were there for Yuji.

But now, he knows your feelings for him and it was all that mattered. Tonight, and possibly for the rest of his life, he’s the happiest man in the world.

LOAF4U. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

[amsgrey]

Jumped

Request: I would love to see something Like IT’s Career day at school and Jay and Will come to teach about their jobs along with others. And Halstead's sister gets bullied. During the break of moving in between careers someone comes and beats her up in like the bathroom and leaves her there and no one notices her being gone untill the end of the day. (I kinda want like Fire, Med, and Pd to find her)

sorry if it doesn’t make much sense you can choose how to end it and stuff

I also LOVE your fics I can’t wait to see more❤️

Authors Note; Y’all really love the angst huh, gotta deliver,, and hopefully you enjoy this little drabble. Also, part of me really wanted to title this, 'big sister hugs' because I think that Hailey would be the best big sister and also give the best big sister advice.

warnings: private girls school (yes that's a warning), bullying, getting jumped (i guess?), hospital and injuries,, Jay and Will not knowing girl bullying and being stubborn, a very poorly written plot

High school was not always easy, but you were comfortable at your school with your friends. That was until there was a security issue and Jay’s information got leaked. Your apartment, school, Jay’s license plate, everything that could be used to track him ended up in the hands of the ‘bad guys’. Jay and Will had broken the news to you that they were pulling you from your current school, and moving to another school closer to Will’s. A private girls school, the ones with the fancy uniforms and stuck-up kids who thought the law didn’t apply to them because they had money. You hated it. You had begged Jay and Will to let you stay, but there was no changing their mind. 

The first week was hell, you knew no one. Starting in the middle of the year meant that everyone knew you were the new girl. You were enrolled under your mother's maiden name, for extra safety. It was weird not hearing your name followed by ‘Halstead’. After the first week was gone, you decided to stick it out until the problem with Jay blew over, by then, you could probably convince them to let you go back to your other school. Three weeks passed by and intelligence solved Jay’s leak. 

“So,” You began on Sunday family dinner, “Now that the whole leak in PD is over…” 

Jay and Will shared a look from across the table. 

You narrowed your eyes, “What?” 

Will ran a hand down his face, “Listen…” 

“You won't let me go back.” 

“It’s a better school-”

“Better?” You spat, “How is it better? I hate it there!”

“It’ll get better,” Jay said, “You just need more time to adjust.” 

“I don’t want to adjust-” 

“We’re not pulling you out,” Jay said, “I know you're struggling right now, but you’ll make some friends and-” 

“I can’t believe you.” You pulled away from the table, leaving your half-eaten dinner where it was and stomping off to your room. Jay stood to follow, ready to scold you for storming away and having such an attitude. 

“Jay,” Hailey grabbed his arm, “Let her cool down.” 

Jay and Will didn’t budge on your school. You had gone from begging to bargaining with no success. Now you were giving them both the silent treatment. You knew it was immature and frankly ridiculous, but you were too mad to think clearly. Jay had already scolded you for not talking to him for the last week. You had ignored him. 

Hailey was the only one you spoke too, because it wasn’t her fault that Jay was being stubborn. Even so, you didn’t tell her everything when she stopped by your room. Namely, the career day that was coming up. You knew telling her meant she would tell Jay. And Jay and Will had a terrible habit of embarrassing you at school. At your last school's career day, Will and Jay had come and talked for hours about their funniest stories. You knew if they came this time, your peers wouldn’t be as amused. 

When career day did roll around, your dean stood in front of the school in the auditorium, introducing students and their parents. Your school was much smaller than your last one - something about smaller class sizes being better for learning - so the auditorium wasn’t fully packed. 

Not everyone brought their parents, but the popular kids with parents who had good jobs came. Like the group of girls who hated you, who all brought at least one parent. Your dean invited students to the stage by class and then had the student introduce their parents. Your class was last, the biggest number of parents who had come. You were sat at the end of your class, mostly because you didn't have anyone to bring. Not that it bothered you.

“Next up, we have Olivia and her mom, Jen.” 

Jen was a dentist, she spent 10 minutes explaining how her job worked and then opened for questions. There weren’t many, mostly a few questions from seniors about collages and other stuff. 

Then it was Sophie, with her dad the Banker. 

By the time the girls who hated you were called up, you were ready to fall asleep. No one here had an interesting job, most of the jobs were boring well playing jobs that you could never see yourself doing. 

The main girl who didn’t like you was Madison. She wasn’t fond of how the teachers asked you for answers in class, not that you could do anything about that. Her friend group was made up of 5 or 6 girls who were seemingly lovely. All smiles and compliments around teachers but spread vicious rumors and lies when adults couldn’t hear. You had heard them speaking about you a few times, not that you cared. It wasn’t great to be the new girl with all the rumors, but you had banked on leaving the school before for long. Which, you knew now, wasn’t an option. So now you were stuck with the girls who all hated you for rumors or lies that you didn’t even know. 

Madison brought her mum and dad with her, real estate agents who worked together selling multi-billion dollar houses. The whole time she had a smug look on her face. When she sat back down in her row, she turned in her seat, looking back at you. 

“Didn’t bring anyone?” She asked. 

You didn’t bother replying. 

“Is it because your parents are coke addicts?” Her friend beside her pressed. 

How that rumor even started you didn’t know, it was so absurd.

“Or is it because they’re dead?” Madison pressed.

You gave her a bored look, “I’ll take my family over your fraud family any day.” 

Madison opened her mouth to bark something back, but was shushed by your teacher. She turned back to face the front, arms crossed over her chest. No doubt stewing in your words. 

“We now have some guests to speak to you,” The Dean said through the microphone, “We reached out to some of our first responders and invited them to come speak to you too. Everyone please welcome Dr Asher and Dr Halstead from Gaffney Chicago Med.”

Will and Hannah walked to the stage, both in their Med scrubs with doctors coats on. Will was looking for you, you could tell from the way his eyes scanned the faces in the audience. You slumped in your chair, avoiding looking at him at all. 

How did he find out? Did he and Jay find out somehow? Did your school contact them? 

You really wanted to disappear now, your face was no doubt bright red by how much it was burning. You prayed silently that Will hadn’t told Jay, but you knew it was a useless prayer. If Will was here Jay would be too. 

You got your answer when the dean explained that there were more guests outside on the fields. She ordered everyone to head that way, ushering students with promises of something ‘exciting’. 

Outside, firehouse 51 had parked their rigs on the grass. 51 had their ladder extended, Mouch standing at the controls grinning like a champion. Not far from Mouch was Trudy, flanked by two patrol cars and their officers. Looking across the gathered first responders it didn’t take long to spot Jay and Intelligence. Their own cars were parked on the grass, the lights on. Everyone but Voight had their vests on, adding to the dramatic atmosphere already created. 

Students huddled around, entranced by the cars and rigs which you had seen plenty of times. You tried to hide towards the back, but Kelly had spotted you and tried to usher you closer. You shrugged back at him, trying to make it look like you were stuck within the crowd. 

“Firstly, we would like to thank Sergeant Trudy Platt and Sergeant Hank Voight, as well as Chief Wallace Boden for coming today. We are hugely appreciative to hear from you,” The dean spoke into a microphone, “Secondly, I want to ask students to be respectful, as these hard working men and women have taken time out of their busy days to come and speak to us. So we are going to listen and show respect. There will be time for questions and demonstrations at the end. Please Welcome Sergeant Trudy Platt.” 

The crowd clapped as Trudy took the mic, but it wasn’t too enthusiastic. Trudy gave a similar speech to last year. Along the lines of what made district 21 special, intelligence and the hardworking patrol officers. She talked about fake calls and how breaking the law would wind you up in her cells etc. It was funny, a few quips earning laughs from teachers and parents. But you had heard it all before. You were dreading what the others would say. You didn’t want everyone knowing your brother was a cop, that would cause way too many issues. 

So instead, you slipped away from the crowd, heading back towards the school building to hide in the bathroom. 

You didn’t think anyone would notice, most people were paying attention to the speakers or interested in the rigs. You were wrong, of course, being followed almost immediately by Madison and a couple of her friends. 

You got to the lockers before they announced themselves. 

“What did you mean my parents were frauds, bitch?” 

You turned around in fright, not even hearing them sneak up on you.

“I didn’t mean it,” You replied, “I’m sorry.” 

You were, kind of. Mostly you were sorry that you had said it, because she genuinely seemed shocked. But this was Chicago, anyone with any money committed fraud, it was kind of the standard. 

“I don’t care if you're sorry,” Madison snarled, she was taller than you so when she stepped closer you couldn’t help feeling intimidated. “What did you mean?” 

“Madison-” 

One of her friends pushed you hard against the lockers with a forearm over your collar, “Answer the question.” 

You were by no means a confrontational person. Growing up, Jay always tried to teach you to talk out your issues, violence or fighting wasn’t a good solution. Will was the same, although both of them weren’t always the best at doing as they counseled. 

“I just meant that,” You were panicking under the glare of all three girls, “You know, this is chicago and-”

“And what? Everyone is a criminal like your addict parents?” Madison got in your face again. 

“My parents weren’t addicts,” You scoffed, now annoyed that she wouldn’t let that go. 

“No?” The girl who was holding you back moved her arm further up your neck, pressing against your throat, “Then where are they?” 

“If my parents were addicts, would you really think I'd be in a private school?” You pressed, “Use your brain for once, please.” 

You should have known that would piss Madison off. She let out an annoyed scoff then pulled back her fist and punched your square in the nose. The force slammed your head back into the lockers, the sound echoing through the empty halls. The punch wasn’t hard enough to break your nose, but you would feel the blood start to drip down your lip. Madison shook her hand like she had taken more damage than you had. 

“Want to say that again?” The third girl finally spoke up. 

It was like they were all gaining confidence in the security of the three of them. When one of them said something the others would laugh and smirk. 

“I don’t like bullies, you know,” Madison said. 

God, the irony. 

This time the punch came from the third girl, landing in your stomach. You didn't know her name, but she was on the volleyball team, so her punch was much stronger. Your body doubled over, arms crossing over your stomach as your lungs tried to fight your diaphragm for air. The arm holding you up was dropped, and your body fell to the ground as you tried to force yourself to take some deep breaths. 

“This is what you deserve,” A girl said, before another blow landed on your ribs. The wind was knocked out of you again, causing you to cough and choke. 

Madison crouched down to your level, “Bullies like you deserve to be put in their place.” 

You didn’t have time to appreciate the irony this time, because she was kicking your head, hard. 

Your body reacted on instinct, curling into itself to try to protect you from another blow that was sure to come. 

“Hey!” 

The three girls sprinted at the voice, running away from their actions. 

“Hey, kid,” A hand on your shoulder made you flinch, when your vision cleared you realized it was just Kelly. He held his hands out to show you he meant no harm, then gently helped you sit up. 

“You’re alright,” He said softly, steading you sitting against the lockers. You couldn’t even reply, focused solely on breathing through the pain in your head and side. 

“I found her,” Kelly said into his radio, “North Hallway, bring a jump bag.” 

Kelly gently touched the side of your face, tilting your head to look at the side you had been kicked. 

“You still got that med kit in your bag?” He asked, knowing Kidd had taught you that in girls on fire. 

“Yeah,” You said softly, your voice above a whisper. 

Kelly ripped open your bag, rummaging through it until he found the small first aid kit. He was only after gauze, once he secured it, he ripped the package open and pressed the gauze to your head. 

You winced, instinctively pulling away from him. 

“I know,” He said, sitting down next to you so he could hold the gauze in place, “Sorry kid. 

You both looked up as the sound of footsteps came running towards you. You might as well have been on fire, the entire house was rushing towards you. Jay and Intelligence were there too, Will and Asher running along beside everyone. 

“This is overkill,” You said to no one in particular. 

Kelly chuckled, shuffling so that Will could take his place next to you, “We’re all here for you, kid.” 

Will replaced Kelly’s hand with his own, when Kelly pulled away you could see blood on his hand. 

Jay croached on your other side, letting Will, Hannah and Brett take care of you. 

“What happened?” He asked, looking over your bloody nose, head injury and the way you were holding your side. 

You didn’t want to be known as a snitch, one glance behind your brother and you could see students being held back by teachers and 51. The school day was almost over, everyone would be gathering their things to leave. You hoped you weren’t in front of someone's locker who hated you, this would definitely make them hate you more. 

You looked back at Jay, his eyes filled with worry, “What happened, squirt?” 

“I, uh.. I fell.”

Will scoffed, “You fell?” 

“Yeah, I’m clumsy,” You said.

“You fell and hit your nose and the side of your head?” Hannah asked, voice soft, “Are you sure that's the story you want to tell?” 

Over her shoulder, Kelly was talking to Voight and Hailey. Hailey was pointing something out, a camera that was positioned above one of the classroom doors. 

“Yeah,” You didn’t sound confident at all. But right now, you wanted to be anywhere but here.

Jay looked pissed, but he didn’t say anything. He got to his feet and stood out of the way as Hannah and Will helped you stand. They lead you over to the stair chair, despite your very vocal argument that you were fine. 

Being wheeled through the crowd of students and their parents was the most embarrassing thing you had ever experienced. You passed by Madison at one point, who was leaning against her locker talking to her parents like nothing ever happened. You avoided looking her way, instead focusing on what Brett was saying about getting to the rig. 

Outside the building things were less stressful and crowded. You managed to convince the four hovering adults that you could stand on your own to get into the back of the ambulance, even if you didn’t really think you needed one. 

“I’m really fine,” You argued for probably the fifth time, “I think you're overreacting.” 

Will sighed, running a hand down his face, “You are too stubborn for your own good,” He muttered. 

Violet chuckled, “Just lay back, alright? You aren’t getting out of this, no matter how much you complain.” 

She was right, but that didn’t stop you from pouting the whole way to Med. 

At Med, Will hovered as Hannah stapled the laceration on your head. You weren’t too happy about the idea of being stabled back together, but Will had taken a photo of the laceration to prove you needed it. 

“That’s so gross,” You said, pushing the phone away from you. 

“That’s why you need staples,” Will explained, rolling his eyes.

Not long after Hannah had treated you and left you to rest, Jay, Hailey and Voight walked in. 

“Are you doing alright?” Jay asked, hesitant to start another argument. 

“I’m fine,” You repeated, “I don’t know why everyones making such a big deal.” 

“You were attacked at-” 

“I fell.” You interrupted. 

“Y/N-” 

“Jay.” You echoed in the same tone.

Jay's face flashed with irritation, he looked to Will for help. 

“We know that’s not true,” Will said, giving you his best parental disappointed look. 

“The whole thing was caught by the security cameras,” Hailey spoke softly, she was the only person in the room who knew what it was like to be a teenage girl in high school, “We just want to know what they said.” 

You tried to come up with some kind of explanation that wouldn’t get anyone in trouble, but you came up short. 

“It’s not that big of a deal,” You shrugged, avoiding eye contact with all of them. 

Will leaned forward, he looked wary, “Listen, squirt, we want to help, but we can’t unless you tell us the truth.” 

“That is the truth,” You argued back, crossing your arms definitely, “It’s not a big deal.” 

“You’re in the hospital!” Jay gestured around, “What about this is ‘not a big deal’.” 

You scowled, refusing to say anything else and just sitting silently. 

Voight squeezed Jay's shoulder, “We’ll let her rest, come back later?” 

Jay nodded, not bidding you goodbye as he stomped out of the room. You hadn’t seen him this mad in forever, you weren’t sure if this would blow over as easily as your other fights. Voight followed after Jay, he told you to get some rest then followed his detective to try to calm him down. 

Will got up to leave too, he told you to rest and said he would come back soon. When the three left, it was only Hailey who stayed behind. 

“I know you’ve been struggling at school,” She took a seat on the bed next to you, “I know what that’s like.” 

You fiddled with your fingers, not wanting to admit she was right. 

“You know what happened today wasn’t right,” Hailey continued, “Jay wants to press charges.” 

“What? No! That’ll just make it wor…” You stopped yourself.

“Make what worse?” Hailey pressed. 

You took a deep breath, trying not to get upset. 

“Whatever is going on, I can help,” Hailey promised. 

“You can’t get me out of that school,” You scowled. 

“I think after today, that might be possible.” 

You leaned back into the pillows. Dr Asher had given you some pain meds for your head, they removed the sharp pain and replaced it with a dull throb. You could feel it more as you got more upset. 

“There’s this stupid rumor that my parents are addicts,” you explained, “Madison is always taunting me with it, saying that's why no one ever comes to parent evenings or teacher interviews…” 

Hailey didn’t say anything, she just sat listening patiently. 

“Before you guys came, she asked why my parents weren’t here and I said that I would rather have my family over her fraud one.” 

Hailey nodded as she listened. 

“It was stupid and as soon as I said it, I regretted it. When we were outside I went inside to go to the bathroom and Madison and her friends followed me… They, uh… Madison wanted to know why I said it and I apologized but she didn’t- she, she didn’t care and…” 

Hailey got the cue, “Okay. It’s alright.” She pulled you into a gentle hug. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

[jackoshadows]

It's so confusing and weird that Bridgerton introduced in world racism both with Lady D and Simon in season one of the show and in Queen Charlotte and at the same time they also want the audience to accept that somehow Marina Thompson or the dark skinned Indian Kate Sharma has more privilege and power than Penelope Featherington?

Kate Sharma was also poor, so much more than the Featheringtons. She depended on Lady D to host them. The Sharmas were looked down on by the ton because Mary Sheffield married an Indian. The Sharmas were disowned and ostracized by the Sheffields.

Kate was also an unmarried spinster. No one was asking Kate to dance. As much as Kate wanted love and romance and to dance at a ball wearing pretty dresses, she got none of that. She was also the woman on the sidelines watching as others danced and fell in love.

Racism and colorism is also very much a thing in eurocentric notions of beauty considering the setting and characters of Bridgerton is 99% white.

We got so little of Kate's backstory, of who her parents where - we didn't even get their names!! - of the trauma (explained for both Simon and Anthony using flashbacks) that had Kate overlooking her own happiness for that of her sister.

Despite bragging nonstop about the diversity of Bridgerton the showrunners thought that the white Featheringtons needed more screentime in season 2 rather than the South Asian family.

And Kate was planning on going back to India and work as a governess to pay for her livelihood. Because, you know, there's more honest ways of being a 'working woman' than running the equivalent of the regency 'Daily Mail' dragging other women down. The modiste Madame Delacroix, Kate planning to teach and Sienna in season one are all working to pay a living. Black, brown and lower class women looking to alleviate poverty.

And considering how much harder Kate already had it as an outsider in the ton, it wouldn't have been easy with Penelope using her gossip rag to describe the unmarried Indian woman as ' a Spinster of a beast'. What did Kate do to Penelope to warrant this? Nothing. Just a way for Penelope to make money at Kate's expense.

That's the thing I dislike the most about the way the character of Penelope is written on the show - her victims don't deserve her vitriol and are often in much worse circumstances than her. From Kate Sharma to the unnamed seamstress who apparently lost all her customers because Penelope wrote falsely about their work in the her tabloid as a bribe for Madam Delacroix.

And I think that's what I find problematic about the writing of the show and even the discourse surrounding it - when characters like Marina Thompson (the poor black cousin who would have ended up destitute on the streets because of Penelope) and Kate Sharma arguably have it far worse than Penelope Featherington as per the show's writing and yet we are supposed to have the most sympathy for Penelope because her crush Colin didn't love her back and she's a curvy white woman?

I guess that's the difference between how I perceive this world and these characters as a woc and the majority white female audience for this show and it's such a huge disconnect for me. I guess this is also partly because the show has this badly written and 'strangely toothless racism' as Ash Sarkar beautifully put it. As in the racism is treated in this world as a little problem solved by handing out a few titles to black people instead of being a white supremacist ideology which treated black and brown people as inferior, serfs and slaves.

From what little we got from season 2, Kate Sharma definitely did not have it easy navigating the ton as a poor outsider and that certainly contributed to her poor choices. She is also put through the wringer, treated like the other woman, is miserable for several episodes, had to apologize again and again and nearly die before Edwina forgives her!

In contrast Penelope's actions have hurt so many and yet she gets a pass by both the show and a fandom that wants Colin to grovel before her because of a single offhand remark and because he didn't return her affections.

Also making it clear here that I am not comparing Penelope to the male characters who always get the better writing, flaws and all. I am comparing Penelope to the female characters of colour - Kate Sharma and Marina Thompson.

I mean, Marina Thompson gets so much vitriolic and sexist hatred for not having told Colin Bridgerton the truth of her pregnancy. How dare Marina hurt this privileged white man Colin Bridgerton. When she was desperate to not end up destitute on the streets or get raped by old white men. And yet Penelope gets a pass for hurting women like Marina and Kate.

It continues a trend of white female characters never being held to the same standard as female characters of colour. Daphne sexually assaults Simon in season one and that was not even addressed on the show. Male rape is apparently no big deal because Daphne wanting children is what's important. It's Simon who has to apologize and within one episode resolve his trauma and accept being a father. This is despite both Daphne and Penelope having more screentime and more writing that builds their character unlike the stick thin writing given to Kate Sharma in season 2.

So yeah, I will be checking into season 3 to watch the ten minutes we get with Kate Sharma since we got so little of her in her own season and it's so singular to get dark skinned south Indian characters in a period drama romance like this. It's just the way the writing on the show, the production and even the fandom treats it's characters, especially characters of colour has been disappointing to say the least.

[starboye]

starring: mickey milcovich x male reader

request: List of Headcanons of Mickey Milkovich as an overprotective older brother (he is only two minutes older) and knows how to take care of him very well, but when he was younger he spent a few days in the hospital.

warnings: fluff, mentions of getting hospitalized, mentions of beating someone up, smoking, drinking

overprotective!mickey who acts like he's the boss of you since he's older but by only two minutes but he takes those minutes and runs with it

overprotective!mickey who judges all the guys you have come over and fuck you, calling you a skank but you know he doesn't really mean it

overprotective!mickey who was the first to know that you were gay (i guess gay sees gay am i right) and told you it was okay and that he still loved you

overprotective!mickey who told you he was gay while you were both smoking outside and you told him you already knew, which came as a surprise to him

overprotective!mickey who watches you like a hawk to make sure you don't get into any trouble with the law or some random cunt

overprotective!mickey who defends you from terry when he starts ranting about you being gay, mickey ushering you to your room before he's yelling at terry for being an insensitive fucker

overprotective!mickey who's always scoping out the men you date and/or have over to make sure they're good enough for you and not some incompetent shitheads

overprotective!mickey who solves any problems anyone has with you, whether that be illegal or legal he's making sure no one fucks with his sibling

overprotective!mickey who was the first to introduce you to ian, mainly because you barged in after mickey thought you would be out all day.

overprotective!mickey who asked you to be his best man for his wedding and after a little teasing you agreed

overprotective!mickey who's love for you came after you were injured by some bullies and sent to the hospital for a couple of days, he stayed by your side the whole time

overprotective!mickey who once you were safe at home took no hesitation in finding the bullies and beating the hell out of them, leaving them bloody and bruised

overprotective!mickey who's cared for you since youth, making sure you always had something to eat and clothes when terry was to drunk or shitty to take care of you both

taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft

[melzula]

Smoke and Shadow

part two

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: final part is here! hope you guys enjoy and thank you for being patient as always

summary: the group is one step closer to finding the missing children and Azula, but that doesn’t mean all of their problems will be solved

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

“We decided to do some investigating after Zuko kicked Aang out of the throne room,” Suki explains to you as your trio runs after the Avatar and Fire Lord. “We wanted to see if there were any clues left behind from Kiyi’s kidnapping or Azula’s Kemurikage attack on the palace last night.”

“And even though we couldn’t find anything, I realized there was something fishy about the way she was able to escape so quickly!” Ty Lee adds with a keen smile. “When we used to play hide-and-seek as kids, she’d always manage to win by hiding in this secret passage way tucked into the palace walls. It must be how the Kemurikage were able to escape so quickly.”

“Good thinking, Ty Lee. Although, I still can’t believe she kidnapped her own sister,” you note with a disgruntled shake of your head. “That’s low even for her.”

“This is Azula we’re talking about,” Suki reminds you, and that in itself is enough of an explanation for her behavior.

You finally skid to a stop after reaching the palace rooftops where Aang and Zuko land. The Avatar carelessly drops your boyfriend on the tile, and you wince on his behalf before offering Zuko your hand to help him back up onto his feet.

“Did you have fun?” You ask with a teasing smile only for the Fire Lord to scowl.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He scolds Aang whilst dusting off his robes.

“Okay, okay, but look!” the boy insists before pressing down on a loose brick that opens up a hidden doorway.

“A secret passageway! So you think this is how Azula and the other Kemurikage escape? How did you figure this out?”

“They searched for clues after you kicked them out of the throne room,” you tell him with a pointed look that has him shrinking guiltily under your gaze. “I think you owe Aang an apology.”

“You’re right,” he murmurs sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I should have been more open to your ideas.”

“Apology accepted!” Aang chirps happily. “Now what’s our next move?”

“Well… Kiyi could be on the other side.”

“Tom-Tom, too. I’m coming along,” Mai interjects firmly, seemingly forgetting Kei Lo’s presence until he corrects her statement with a “We’re coming along.”

Zuko instructs Suki and Ty Lee to stay back and guard the palace, so you bid your friends goodbye before beginning your descent into the narrow passageway. The hallway is cold and claustrophobic, but Aang and Zuko lead the way with their fire bending, cautioning you to watch your step behind them.

You’re quiet for the most part, mulling over your thoughts and insecurities now that you’re given a moment’s silence to think. You’re still feeling a bit insecure about walking in on him with Mai and about his animosity towards Kei Lo, but you haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet. The long distance has been hard on your relationship, and sometimes it’s hard to keep consistent communication when both of you have duties to tend to and entire nations to run, but you never thought it would be a problem. Now, you’re not so sure.

You recall what Azula had told you during your time in the Forgetful Valley, how you and Zuko were an “unnatural” pair that would never work. You hate to admit it or even think it, but what if she’s right? What if you’re just kidding yourself? Maybe Mai really has been the right girl for him all along. After all, she is Fire Nation, and she certainly is more qualified to be dating the Fire Lord than you are. You wish Suki were here to talk to, surely she’d know just what to say and could stop you from spiraling like you are now, but without her it seems it’s just you and your thoughts for now.

“Hey, I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier,” a voice says, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I’m Kei Lo, Mai’s boyfriend.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, everything’s just been so chaotic. I’m y/n, Zuko’s girlfriend.”

“That’s right, Mai told me. Say, aren’t you a Chief? Should I be calling you Chief y/n instead?”

“Just y/n is perfectly fine,” you correct him with an awkward laugh. Unbeknownst to you, Zuko is listening in on every word. He doesn’t trust Kei Lo, not one bit, and he doesn’t want him roping you into any trouble. He doesn’t care if he really isn’t in cahoots with the Safe Nation Society, if Kei Lo so much as looks at you in a way Zuko doesn’t like he’ll be tossed into a cell immediately.

“So how’s a Chief of a water tribe end up dating the Fire Lord?” He asks with a laugh.

“It’s a very long story.”

“Please spare me the details,” Mai says with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, it may not be the best time for that story,” you note with an apprehensive smile.

“You’re probably right. Still, it’s a pretty awkward situation we’ve all found ourselves in.”

“You can say that again.”

After some time group is finally able to reach the end of the passageway, and the only thing standing in your way from the other side is a solid wooden door.

“This must be it,” Zuko announces hopefully. “Behind this door could be Kiyi and Tom-Tom.”

“And Azula,” Aang adds apprehensively before helping the Fire Lord push the heavy wood open. The creak of the old hinges is deafening, echoing in the silent hallway, and you watch with bated breath as the light from the other side slowly begins to seep in. Carefully, you follow the two out the door only to be met with a disappointing site.

There are no missing children and there is no Azula. Instead, you’re faced with a gloomy and desolate graveyard.

“What is this place?” You murmur in awe, your eyes scanning across the expanse of withered headstones. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“I’ve been here before,” Zuko notes thoughtfully, “this is the royal family graveyard.”

“I thought that’s what the Dragonstone catacombs were for,” Aang questions with furrowed brows.

“No, the catacombs are only for Fire Lords. This place is for everyone else. It’s called the Garden of Tranquil Souls.”

“Really? Well, I hate to break it to you, Zuko, but…” the Avatar begins uneasily, and you follow his shifting gaze towards the clouds of smoke that begin to surround the graveyard. Taking a step back, you reach to unclip your water pouch as the dark figures begin to close in on your group. “The souls here don’t seem all that tranquil!”

The group of Kemurikage don’t hesitate to attack, and immediately your group is split apart as you all begin to defend yourselves against their assault. Blasts of fire are shot your way left and right, but you’re able to deflect it every time with your water bending. You manage to take down two of the spirits by encasing them up to their necks in ice, but your progress only seems to make a dent in their ambush. Zuko and Aang are still corned back to back, and Azula has managed to single out Mai and Kei Lo. She holds the boy by the collar of his shirt, eyes full of malice and hand ready to strike him with her blue flames despite Mai’s pleas for her to leave her boyfriend alone.

Before she can harm him, you send a blast of water towards her with an effortful grunt that shoots her across the graveyard and into one of the pillars. The impact is forceful enough to put a crack in the tombstone and disorient Azula momentarily to allow Kei Lo and Mai the chance to escape.

“Are you alright?” You ask him after rushing towards the couple. Mai helps him to his feet before looking to you, her eyes full of gratitude and sincerity.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly, and you give her an appreciative nod in return.

Rising from the ground with a grunt of pain, Azula is filled with rage at your assault on her. How dare you think you can beat her at her own game?

“Helping out your competition? That’s pathetic even for you, dearest,” she insults, irises aflame with fury. “Perhaps you and Zuko are more compatible than I thought.”

“What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re still obsessed with becoming Fire Lord,” you spit back, water cloaking your arms to form tentacle-like limbs for attack.

“Oh, I’m much past that now. I have a new mission,” she notes airily with a passive wave of her hand. Her eyes harden suddenly then and electricity begins to spread across her fingertips. “One that simply won’t work with you in the picture.”

Before she can raise her hands to strike you with her lightening blast, Zuko is quick to send a hail of flames her way to distract her. “Leave her out of this! It’s me you want!”

“Oh, Zuzu, always so dramatic,” she mocks before creating a cloud of smoke to cover her as she runs away.

“You have to go after her!” You exclaim urgently. “I’ll stay back and help Aang handle the rest of the Kemurikage.”

After ensuring you’ll be fine without him, Zuko gives you one final nod before chasing after his sister. You, on the other hand, rush back towards Aang to see if he needs any help. However, it seems he’s been able to manage the assailants just fine on his own.

“Princess! Where’d everybody go?” He asks, perplexed at the sudden disappearance of your group.

“Zuko went after Azula. I’m not sure where Mai and Kei Lo are,” you note as you scan the garden for any sign of them. “What do we do now? We still haven’t found the missing children.”

As if on cue, a shrill voice coming from the passageway calls out for help. You exchange an alarmed glance with Aang before immediately sprinting back into the doorway. A breath of relief leaves you at the sight of Mai’s father with the children in tow, but your ease is short lived at the sight of the two Kemurikage that hold them captive.

“Look!” One of the kids exclaims. “It’s the Avatar and Chief y/n!”

“Hi kids, we’ve been looking all over for you!” Aang says with an overjoyed wave.

“Are you guys alright?!” You call out protectively. “Is anyone hurt?”

“We’re great!” Kiyi calls back prompting you to let out a relieved laugh. You’re so happy to see her and see that she’s okay, but your joyous reunion is quickly cut short by the two spirits who begin to approach the two of you with whips of fire.

“Hang on, kids!” You tell them before beginning to take on the Kemurikage. There’s two of them, so you and Aang each take on one. They’re powerful fighters, but the safety of the children is on the line, so you use all of your might to fight them off as best as you can.

You counter their whip with one of your own, slicing through their weapon each time before it can strike you. While one of your hands controls the water whip, the other sends constant shards of ice hurtling toward the cloaked woman. You can tell she’s beginning to tire, your attacks too much for her to keep up with, but you’re too focused to notice the second figure approaching closely behind you. The Kemurikage’s whip is raised to strike you in the back, but their attack is halted by the blade that slices through the air and pins their hand against the wall.

“What-!” You exhale in surprise, turning just in time to see Mai swoop in and finish the job. The last two spirits have been apprehended, and you’ve been spared a wound that surely could have been fatal.

“Someone had to watch your back,” Mai explains with a faint smile. “You had ours.”

“Thank you,” you utter with a breathless grin. It feels nice to not hate each other for once, and you actually seem to work quite well together.

“Y/n! Y/n!” A voice calls, stealing your attention away from the girl and back to the children. Kiyi sprints towards you with a gleeful smile, and you’re quick to scoop her up into your arms and give her the tightest hug. “You came back!”

“I promised, didn’t I?” You say with a playful smile, carefully pushing back the hair from her face. “I’m so relieved to see you’re okay, and I know Zuko will be too.”

“Guess what? I’m a fire bender now!” She boasts proudly. “I burned a hole through the door so we could escape!”

“That’s incredible!” You praise with a laugh. “Wait until your brother hears this.”

Across the way, Mai cradles her little brother in her arms and watches you speak animatedly with Zuko’s sister. Your interest in Kiyi’s story is completely genuine, and she can see just how much the girl values your opinion. It’s so different from the way Azula used to talk about you, speaking poorly of your character and diminishing you to nothing but a weak Princess. Maybe Mai had judged you too harshly. After all, she might not have been able to get her brother back without your help.

“Thank you again for your help,” she tells you after setting Tom-Tom down to allow him to bid his goodbyes to his new friends. “I was wrong about you, and I shouldn’t have let my resentment cloud my judgement the way I did. I guess I really don’t hate you as much as I thought I did.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” you express with a careful smile. Perhaps things will always be awkward between the two of you, but this is at least a good start.

After making sure all of the children are accounted for, your group exits the passageway just as Zuko emerges from one of the mausoleums. Kiyi is quick to sprint towards her brother, and you watch on with a smile at the way his eyes seem to light up while hugging her close.

“Kiyi! I can’t tell you how worried I was about you.”

“I wasn’t worried at all!” She notes with a grateful smile. “You should’ve seen it, Zuzu! Y/n helped the Avatar take those nasty ladies down!”

“She did, did she?” He asks playfully, glancing over to you with a grateful smile. You simply give him a sheepish shrug in return. “I’ll have to be sure to give her my thanks.”

“And Azula?” You ask him, but his solemn gaze is enough of an answer. “She said she had a new mission, did she tell you what it was?”

“She wasn’t interested in becoming Fire Lord, she was interested in turning me into the type of Fire Lord she would be. The type that rules with fear, ruthlessness. Just like my father. Azula says I can’t escape who I am, and it will only be a matter of time before I’m just like her.”

“You don’t believe that, do you? You’re nothing like Azula,” you say earnestly. “You never will be.”

“I know,” Zuko murmurs softly, but you can see the slightest bit of doubt in his eyes and it saddens to you to know he doesn’t fully believe it to be true. “But either way she escaped. I don’t know where she is or when she’ll return.”

“We’ll be there to help you if she does come back, buddy,” Aang consoles with a comforting hand on the Fire Lord’s shoulder. “For now, let’s just focus on returning these kids back to their families.”

“Good point, Aang. Now,” you say, looking to the children who stare up at you with tired eyes that immediately brighten when you ask, “who’s ready to go home?”

~~~

Peace has been restored in the Fire Nation; the children have been returned safely to their parents, and Zuko has earned the forgiveness of his people for his mishandling of the situation. Everything is almost perfect.

You lean against the balcony of your room for the night and stare up contemplatively at the moon. Yue shines beautifully as always, and you find comfort in her light as you battle against the darkness clouding your thoughts. Your doubts about your relationship still rage on, and you haven’t been able to fight them off no matter how hard you try. You haven’t mentioned anything to Zuko, not wanting to distract him from his duty to his people, but the suffering in silence act you’ve been pulling all day hasn’t been helping your state of mind. Suki had urged you to talk to him, stating you had nothing to worry about because she’s seen firsthand how much he misses you when you’re away, but you were too anxious to follow through. What if you won’t like what you hear when you finally speak to Zuko?

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts to hear your door open or the quiet footsteps that head towards you, and it isn’t until he’s right beside you that you finally feel the familiar warmth that constantly emanates from his body. You don’t have to look to know that it’s Zuko.

“Suki said I should come to talk to you,” he says softly, golden eyes looking to you inquisitively. “Is everything alright?”

“I… I’m not sure,” you admit quietly, nervously fidgeting with your fingers and refusing to meet his gaze.

“What is it?”

His hand sneaks its way in between your own to halt your fidgeting and reassure that he’s right there with you and ready to listen to whatever it is you have to say. Sighing, you finally look to him with uncertainty swimming in your eyes.

“Do you have feelings for Mai?”

He’s stunned to stay the least, eyes widening slightly in surprise at your question. It’s certainly the last thing he expected you to ask him.

“Is this what you were trying to talk to me about earlier?” He presses gently, frowning at the way you slowly nod your head. “I see…”

“Just be honest with me, Zuko,” you plead desperately. “We promised we’d never keep secret from each other anymore, so if there’s something to tell then tell me. I can handle it.”

“I can’t stand here and tell you that it didn’t look bad when you walked in on Mai and I,” Zuko admits with a sigh. “But I can tell you that nothing was going on.”

“I heard you say you care about her.”

“It was out of context. I was trying to make things right for the sake of finding the children- she was obviously still upset over what went down between us, and I was trying to keep the peace so that we could work together to find our siblings. I’ve known her since we were kids, and if it weren’t for her I never would have been able to escape Boiling Rock and come back to you. So in a way I guess I do care for her, but it’s nothing compared to how much I care for you.”

“What about your animosity towards Kei Lo? You seemed… jealous of him.”

“I wasn’t jealous, I just didn’t trust him. I still don’t,” Zuko says adamantly. “I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to release him because I didn’t want him to try and pull anything. I didn’t want Mai getting hurt, and I especially didn’t want him putting you in any danger.”

“So… so you don’t have feelings for her?” You ask meekly, the slightest bit of doubt still present in your voice.

“I’ve never had feelings for her,” Zuko says earnestly before gently taking your hands in his own. “You’re the only girl for me, y/n. I was stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m never making that mistake again.”

You can’t help but smile at his admission, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace that he immediately returns. It feels like a weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders, and all the worry and self doubt you had is finally beginning to melt away.

“I never want you to feel doubtful or insecure about our relationship ever again. I’m going to do everything in my power to do better,” he professes earnestly. “I love you more than you know, and you don’t ever have to worry about someone coming between us again.”

“I love you, Zuko.”

He pulls you in for a kiss, and with the moonlight shining down upon you both, everything is almost perfect.

For neither of you notice the pair of golden eyes that stare down at you from the rooftops with disdain and disgust before disappearing into the shadows.

“Pathetic.”

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[mythmash]

Bouncer!Sukuna AU Pt. 2

Bouncer!Sukuna x Stripper/Dancer!Reader. Warnings: MDNI 18+, bullet point fic, uncle!sukuna, bootplay, cunnilingus mention, knifeplay, blood, bloodplay, biting, period sex mention A/N: this is a collaborative work made with the amazing @pastelbunnelby, @pastelpixies & @chaoskrakenuwu Series Masterlist || Previous | Next

You start using Sukuna's charges to your own advantage when someone won't leave you alone

"Sorry, I have a boyfriend. He kills people 😊"

He gives you free rein around his apartment and you snoop around until you find his mugshot and frame it

Sukuna keeps taking it down and hiding it, so you move it when he's not looking

You decorate it for the holidays with little stickers like a santa hat, rabbit ears, a bunch of tiny ghosts

You get it printed on one those "I <3 my boyfriend" shirts where you can put the picture in the heart and wear it to bed for April Fool's Day

You think it's hilarious

Sukuna does not

Speaking of holidays, you get little sexy heels ornaments to put on your Christmas tree, and somehow one finds its way onto his keys as a reminder of you when he goes out

Not that he'd ever forget

And speaking of heels, you have a collection of dancing heels and Sukuna loves them, and when you wear only them

He sees you in so little clothes at work anyway, and he's impatient as fuck when he wants you so lingerie doesn't do much for him, but the heels?

The idea of you digging the sharp heel into the back of his thighs or his hips and leaving marks when he's pounding into you makes him go wild

You're getting dressed for a shift while he watches from the bed, and he stops you so he can pick up your foot and place it in his lap heel slightly on his crotch as he takes his time putting lotion and body glitter and kisses and whatever else on your leg before he laces up your heels and switches to the other leg

He likes it when you wear heels or boots with lots of buckles so he has to close each one and you can be there just a little longer

If it's thigh high anything, prepare to be late for your shift

If it's thigh highs that lace all the way up, you always have to lace the tops yourself because he ends up eating you out before he gets there

If it's latex or pvc thigh highs, he's touching them all over because they make your legs and thighs look so good, and he's shining them with his tongue just making his way up your thighs to eat you out again

It's kinda gross because the boots are gross, but honestly so is he and it turns you both on soooo

You come to the realization if you have somewhere to be on time you can’t wear boots, but especially not thigh highs, because you simply will be late every single time and you know he doesn’t give a fuck

In fact, he's glaring at anyone who even seems like they have a problem with your lateness which solves that pretty quick

The club owner gives up on trying to reprimand either of you for being late

If any of the other dancers comment on it, they have to be extra careful not to accidentally slip on stage or trip down the steps

Those heels are just so high, anything could happen if they aren’t careful….

But what really gets him is when you're trying to scuff your new shoes

You take his knife, twirl it around, and keep eye contact while you use it to scuff your heels

The sight of you with his knife is something he never knew he needed until it happened

He decides to introduce some minor knifeplay and lets you use his knife

You accidentally cut him and go to lick the blood from the blade, but you cut your tongue and his mouth is immediately on yours soothing the cut with his tongue and sucking the blood off

It's hot but you decide it's something you'd rather do as a rare treat

Sukuna doesn't mind

He's resourceful enough to find other way to satisfy his blood kink

You accidentally cut your finger while cooking, and he sits you on his lap, your finger in his mouth as he "cleans" the cut for you and you feel how hard he is and you have a sneaking suspicion it’s not just because you’re sitting on him based on the almost dazed look he’s getting wiping up your blood with his mouth

He's noisy about it too

Moaning and slurping and not once does he take his eyes off yours while he's doing it or when his other hand settles on your hip and starts grinding you on his lap

If you try to move your finger away, don’t

He's conflicted because he doesn't like the idea of you being hurt, but he can’t help but feel so turned on

It’s like he’s getting a part of you that he shouldn’t something so personal and forbidden and he can’t help but want more

It’s a little treat for him because it only happens if you accidentally cut yourself

Or when you're on your period which he definitely isn't tracking so he can be as insatiable as possible and keep you so thoroughly exhausted you can't do much else besides eat and sleep

…..And if you seem to cut yourself more often after that little moment he’s not going to mention it

You're just a little clumsy is all

It's not his fault you got a little distracted by him intentionally coming up behind you and kissing your neck while cutting vegetables and now you have a little cut on your finger

Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it he’ll help fix it

And again he’s perceptive, he’d never let you do any lasting damage, but if you get a little knick here and there that’s just life right?

He'd always kiss you after to comfort you. Only to kiss it and make it better...not at all to see your blood smear across your lips

The other dancers get concerned when you keep showing up with bandaids on your fingers and you explain “Oh, just learning some new cooking tricks!” while trying not to show how hot and bothered you are at the memory

Aaaand now you have to find Sukuna before your next dance because how can you concentrate on dancing when all you can think about is him smearing blood-slick spit on your skin as he licks up your fingers?

He bites your lips when he kisses you just to get a small taste of your blood and hear your little whines

When he kisses your neck, he always nips at your pulse. Not hard enough to draw blood but a bit harder than advisable.

He really wants you to feel it because he always gets the breathiest whimpers out of you and you grind against him just that much more when he does

Plus the rush of knowing how easily he could sink his teeth in and tear your throat, and how you trust him so much to know that’s probably what he’s thinking and you’re still letting him do this

And he’d constantly remind him that you should be afraid of him, you should be scared of him like everyone else is, but you aren’t because you’re just as nasty as he is and how could such a pretty little princess like you be so dirty

He’d love every second of it

[lipstickchainsaw]

Arcane season 2 has touched on religious themes considerably more than season 1 did. This has expressed itself primarily in Viktor's prophet narrative (no, he is not a god, he is being guided by one), but we also see it in a lot of Janna worship showing up in Zaun, especially among the most impoverished.

And her most prominent depiction is in the stage Jinx sets for her fight with Vi. This seems relevant, so let's dig into that for a moment.

The stage Jinx has set is deep underground, in the ruins of what seems to have once been a grand temple (with an altar, but we'll get to that), which Jinx has repurposed as a monument to the tragedies of her own life, but I don't think this is portrayed as a desecration of this temple. Rather, I think it's a set-up for where we're going.

Over the course of their fight, Vi and Jinx destroy the pillar showing their childhood, which could be read as the definitive destruction of their sisterhood, but, given how things end, I think it's more likely the destruction of the specific dynamic: Vi can no longer be the protector, and Jinx does not need to be protected.

The conclusion of that fight has Jinx held down on the altar, which seemed to be very much on purpose, because she wants to die, and her decision to do it like this is important. She wanted to go out in a grand, important way. Like a ritual sacrifice on the altar to a god, with a grand ceremony in the form of the paint bombs to mark the occasion.

But the world won't let Jinx die, forces her to live, in this case in the form of Isha bodily getting in the way of the people trying to kill her, which doesn't strip this religious ritual from its meaning, but it changes it from a sacrifice to... something else.

At the end of season 1, Vi and her sister had to make a choice between Jinx and Powder, but they got neither. This isn't the Jinx that they thought they were choosing, and it isn't the Powder that wants to die, either. So if this is not a death, perhaps it is a rebirth, but as what?

Anyway, all of that sells the significance of the religious imagery, but it doesn't explain why Janna, specifically.

Fittingly, Jinx introduces us to who Janna is as a deity, and equally fittingly, she presents this as a non-believer:

"Don't you remember the old Janna bedtime stories Vander used to tell us? Miners trapped underground. Air running thin! But then some wispy wind woman wafts to their rescue. Wild the kind of crap people get up to when you choke them out."

Janna is fresh air to those about to choke. Life to those about to die. It is a second wind when poison threatens to end you. Jinx, at this point, probably thinks of this as a hallucination by people who were just rescued and interpreted the source of the fresh air as something it wasn't (after all, she's well familiar with what a person's brain can come up with when put under significant strain).

But the Strike Team was threatening to choke the Undercity, with the Gray being an expression of Caitlyn's grief forced upon the citizens of Zaun, and Jinx' ritual sacrifice gets interrupted by Isha (and Sevika) rescuing her, all culminating in them blowing up a seal depicting Janna that was holding back a massive gust of fresh air that turned the poison against those using it.

So with this being a rebirth for Jinx, I think it points out in a certain direction.

For one thing, while she has been associated with smoke (see also: Powder), the way her tattoos show that smoke is very much a depiction of it being stirred by wind. For another, it involves her both rescuing and being rescued, becoming both Vi and Powder. She reflexively protects Isha, and finds in that a reason, perhaps, to live.

But this has only delayed matters, not solved the problem, with Caitlyn's grief now wielding the military might of Noxus (noxious) to choke the Zaun once more, and it once again needs its fresh air to survive.

So perhaps Jinx can find a renewed purpose. Can find meaning in a life where she protects and supports people. Can become Zaun's hero, instead of simply Piltover's villain.

And perhaps Janna finally has a herald to fight for the city under her banner.