#and birds squawk!

[sparkarrestor]

Traintober Day 8: Squawk Shock

Written By: SparkArrester

Bill & Ben were feeling put-upon. A large order of china clay had caused them to be put in overtime, and the worst part of it was that they couldn't pull any jokes, japes, or good natured tomfoolery in days! Their manager tried to keep them calm and entertained, but as time went on, the urge for mischief grew in the twins.

“It’s terrible Bill!” Began Ben one night, “It took every pound of metal in my body not to reverse under the hoppers!”

‘I know!” Comforted Bill, “Life’s been so boring these past few weeks! It's a good thing there’s only a week or two of hard work for us! I’ve got a bucket-list of good stress relievers…”

“But Bill! I don’t think I can wait much longer! I have to do something!”

“...yeah, I definitely cannot wait anymore. We’re going down to Brendam tomorrow, but that begs the question: who shall be the victim…?”

The twins smiled deviously as they went over their targets. But as they went down the list, those smiles dissipated faster than a wisp of smoke. Timothy would be too easy, Marion would be oblivious to anything and everything, Cranky was low-hanging fruit, and BoCo would probably murder them. That left only one possible candidate without heading to the main-line.

“Are you sure Bill?

“Positive.”

“But when was the last time we got him?”

“The day we arrived.”

“That was 3 decades ago!”

“All the more reason to get him!”

The twins simply couldn’t fall asleep after that, and they stayed up all night, planning on a way to get Edward the Blue Engine.

The next morning, Edward was sizzling happily at the harbor station. He was just about to come off of his train and get to the sheds when, creaking and groaning, a line of trucks came crawling past him, with no engine to move them! Timothy, who was on the other line, yelped and banged into some wagons, but Edward just laughed.

“It’s been a while, you two! I can see you’re bringing your A-Game into this!”

Bill and Ben came out of their hiding place and snorted.

“Us, play tricks on you? Don’t be silly Edward.”

Of course, the expression on Ben’s face and the deadpan delivery betrayed everything.

“Come on you two, you’ll get a rest in a week or two! Surely you can wait that long!”

“No. No we can’t”

“So all bets are off then?”

“Yes. Yes they are.”

Edward just smiled.

“Ah well. Good luck to you two!”

“Thanks Edward!”

“Ben, shush!” 

The twins tried all sorts of tricks. They tried adding more wagon’s to Edward’s trains. They tried hiding themselves on his trains with their brakes hard on. They even tried making him a middle engine! But nothing seemed to work. Worse still, each of their schemes took a while to prepare with their workload, so half the time, Edward could guess what they were doing anyways. The twins weren’t the only ones on edge however. Edward was beginning to get tired of always being on guard for any of the twin’s tricks. It got to the point of affecting his work.

“You should stand your ground Edward.” said BoCo a few days later, “Or else it will never end!”

“I know BoCo… but”

“But nothing! I get that the twins need to let out some stress, believe me I’ve gone giddy seeing them scurry round, but boundaries must be set!”

As the two engines were discussing, another pair of engines were also scheming in the night.

“Should we do it?”

“Why not Ben?”

“It seems unfair to weaponize his weakness” “And your point is…?

“...Nevermind. But what about the clay pits? We left the work-half finished!”

“Eh, we can do it later! Now let's get some sleep!”

The next day, Edward was once again at the harbor station as he heard the whistles of Bill and Ben. He sighed and prepared for any tricks, but he was surprised to see something else.

“You two, what on earth are you doing?!”

Bill and Ben were not only pushing the train, but the train was unbraked with no brake-van and dangerously out-of-date stock. It seemed like they were desperate enough to just want a reaction. In that department, they certainly succeeded. But they were heading for trouble. With the trucks in front, they couldn’t see BoCo on their line!

“Watch out!” Shrieked Edward in an uncharacteristically shrill voice.

But it was too late, as both trains collided with one another!

Lucky for them, they didn’t hit BoCo, but rather his train, and being at the back of their train helped them escape any serious damage. But they had something else to deal with. Edward came up to them, but instead of yelling at them, he began belting out unintelligible hoots and squawking! It was a while before he started to speak actual words, and even then, he laid into the twins until they had the paint blistered off of them! BoCo just sat back in awe.

The twins had to stay and clear up the mess. They were looking forward to a nice rest back at the clay pits, but their manager immediately put them to work with the backlog they had left. I think it’ll be another three decades before they even think to play games with Edward again, don’t you?

[chirrups]

being a bird owner and bird nerd in general really does fill me with lots of small and asinine grian headcanons.

like: does grian have a gizzard? and if he does, does this guy eat rocks???

[randommmthoughts]

I just love all the animal noises in Helluva Boss (this are just all the ones that were subtitled) (there are more subtile ones)

Stolas’ birdsounds:

Bonus: Growling Blitzø

[hummingbird-hooligan]

I knew Edward Cullen was a bitch the second he said he didn't like music from the 70s but loved music from the 50s because every song I've heard from the 70s sounds like you could fuck nasty to it and every song I've heard from the 50s sounds like it could be played at an ice cream social

[pinkpastels113]

glinda: your new found pop-you-la-ri-teeee 🕊️🦅🦆🦜🦢🐓🪿🦩🪽

[sunnydais]

My online friend who I have been sending many many clips to recently started watching D20. When picking a season to start with, she asked me, “who’s the bird guy?” And I responded, “Brennan?” and she said, “no no, the other guy.”

After much deliberation, Lou Wilson is now the bird guy.

[grimalditeuthis]

#meandthegirlies

[magicandmundane]

I honestly did not think they were going to commit to The Bit™️ (dad bird crack theory)

[basiatlu]

D for Diricawl

[solargeist]

confession, when I read fanfiction and they describe Grian making bird noises like chirping i have no idea what they mean

[thatsbelievable]

[astrangebird]

alright who's gonna get me to 600 I'll doodle you something as thanks 👀

[hummingbird-hooligan]

incredible tumblr ad just dropped

[wisteriagoesvroom]

dream blunt rotation

[x]

[justgoji]

Modern pterosaur designs are so cool I wish pop culture would actually fucking use them and not squawking lizard birds

[dnangelic]

"please don't talk over me." [ why is he noisy in sensei's class?? ]

@muraenide

' WAIT YOUR TURN ! ' it doesn't matter that he's been arguing for the entirety of the class , and that said turn would probably have taken the entirety of a long decade at this rate . nobody was going to speak over him either , not for as long as he had important things to say --- ! just try to butt in , and he'd only make it a race of both speed and volume alike ! ' why am i even bothering with something like this ?! if i'm going to be stuck here surrounded by a bunch of people like you , then i'm going to do whatever i want --- ! ' beginning with verbal uproar to keep himself from physical squabble . everybody thank him for being so generous ! and that includes you , jade !