#and believe when I say it HAS happened
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Someone really trying to lecture me telling me it's important to know where your coworkers stand on political topics. LMAOOOOO it is always better to NOT know. I do not need to know these people on a personal level. It has always been a general rule that you are not to speak of politics or religion in the workplace and now people suddenly think it's something that should be done? In this political climate??? Do not assume you know people's lives, the environments in which they work or live to lecture them as to why it's their "duty" to find out as much as possible about the people you work with. I go to work to get my pay and then I go home. I am not here to make friends or allies, I am not here to socialize and get to know the people I have to see every day which makes it harder if I can't stand them. It is always better to keep relationships professional so you don't have to dread being around people. Discussing heated topics causes drama, which leads to bad blood, which then leads to people trying to get you fired etc. "Politics is a big part of ones' personality" right, and I suppress my personality at work as most people should do. Have you never heard of a "work personality"? These people only need to know me professionally, as do I, them, because it is difficult to maintain a professional relationship when you know too much about people. I choose to not, and that does not taint my moral character.
#I work in a place where people are not in and out constantly#it is a steady job for the majority - most people being with the company for 5 years minimum!#the place is family-orientated and has a mixed culture going on but they are all hyper conservative and religious freaks#in my world if you are being loud mouthed about your zionist political views I'm about to go to HR to shut that shit down#and believe when I say it HAS happened#I stay quiet until provoked because my socio and political beliefs are in the minority and I am not going to change these people's minds#especially not if I can't even get them to use my correct pronouns#so do not tell me marginalized ppl need to know they can rely on you when the only true 'marginalized' person in my workplace IS ME#💭
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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once again i really do think armand’s morality and view of his own morality is summed up by “i tried to be good, am i no good?” because he KNOWS he’s not, but he so desperately wants to be good in any way he can be, so that he can be desired. and this in turn means he is deep in denial about any bad he has done other than the deep seated feeling that he is simply “bad” as a vague concept and not the sum of his actions. anyway who’s up thinking normal thoughts about characters.
#this is why he cannot admit to himself that he has done wrong and might not necessarily view his actions as bad or as his fault#even when they are.#he doesn’t think he can do bad because he wants so much to be good. he just thinks he IS inherently bad#which was also part of the CoD ideology but really that belief comes from before. possibly even before marius but definitely after vampirism#HOWEVER whats also interesting is a lot of what happened TO him he cant view as bad either for a multitude of reasons#so he thinks of them as love and that his belief of love and goodness. which is actually bad#thus him wanting to be good is his view of ‘good’ which is not good at all#GOD he’s so messed up#this is another reason i believe he is religious in showverse because this is strongly tied to religion#‘armand isn’t actually muslim’ SHUSH. to ME he is.#does any of this make sense or am i just saying words#iwtv#amc iwtv#armand#tvc#meta
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#tone indicator slash lighhearted or whatever it is you guys say when u wanna criticize the qsmp and not get harassed#qsmp#qsmp fr#qsmp french#its only like the 10th time something like this has happened it surely cant be a pattern or anything#tiggady tags#qsmp neg#< tagging this so i actually dont get harassed tho#(genuinely dont believe its malicious or anything but at this point i wouldnt blame people if they did start suspecting that like-#these type of things happened so many times specifically to the french speaking ccs/fans that it does kinda appear as tho its purposeful)
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lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.
#you messed up an excellent little autistic dude caterina look at him he has no personal life and his only friend is his scar-ass cousin!!#because that's what you told him he has to be and he believed you!!!#all that and you wouldn't even let him have a wyvern dagger just for fun and b/c it makes him SO happy? when i get you caterina dellamorte#I'm finding the crow family drama so compelling in this game I'm just hanging around treviso Observing haha#I wish they'd given illario a bit more nuance in this (as I feel he does have in the wigmaker job)#b/c with the sheer pantomime susness he's got going on they really don't want you to engage with him deeply haha#also teia mvp as always but I think that goes without saying (and happily all these lads around her seem to know it)#both lucanis and viago like 'thank you teia you're the best 🥺' and she's like 'yeah I know'#protective big sis of the remaining crow family haha. and she's got to be barely thirty years old at this point. I'm love her so much#'*annoyed voice* MAKER HELP US' she's saying what we're all thinking#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#I think my rook is having some uncomfortable moments of realizing some parallels here with their own relationship to the watchers haha#like 'buddy you're so much more than just a tool for your family to use. I however have a sacred duty I was banished from#the fulfilment of which determines my entire worth and that I am low-key mourning behind the levity b/c that's what I was made for. ...wait#I feel like rye was more the illario & lucanis combo only child tho. wants so much to be good but keeps getting into Shenanigans#chaotic underachiever with frankly upsetting potential when they actually get their act together and they WANT to so bad#but also. shenanigans keep happening. releasing blighted gods is only barely the wildest of them
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[stress]
#i usually Imagined this happening#but this happened a few days ago when someone asked me very specifically about my type like they want the gossip#and my brain screamed MONSTER#aka doodle#i get stressed when people ask me that question fdshjsdf#this has been another monsterfucker psa from aka thank you#+horns +tails +non human skin#maybe not from this earth (aliens)#(sweats like a sinner in church)#also WHY DONT THEY BELIEVE WHEN I SAY PERSONALITY FDFDH#happens every time people ask#(no longer eating in peace)#aka doodles
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a lesson on good karma digimon survive week 2024 day 4: supporting characters
#digimon#gomamon#digimon survive#survive week#survive week 2024#rambling ahead. you don't have to read the tags beyond bc there's nothing that important tbh... you can just look at the art...#exhausted from being out and doing housework yesterday. then got a last-minute job with very urgent deadline today#finished everything but yeah basically i did anything but art so#irl do be like that aint it#anyway it's been a long time since i played survive and my memory isn't that good#but i always remember the part where we had to protect the gomamon#and later they showed us a path via the dam allowing the team to continue exploring#it reminded me of just how important it is to be nice and do good things whenever and wherever possible#and be mindful with the not-so-good things you do and say#be it good or bad. karma is real even if you don't know when it will get back at you#and you know in visual novel settings. whatever choice you make really determines what happens later on#yeah believe it or not i end up thinking stuff like that by helping a bunch of adorable seal mons...#mmm i'm officially behind now so i might as well take my time while also rest a bit haha ;;#this week has been fun with survive week tho fr. even though i came in unprepared (when will i change)#gotta keep surviving#png
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Headcanon #500:
Mind is afraid that when he distances himself from or above the others, that he will be too far gone to come back down. That when his paranoia gets the best of him, he'll shut everyone else out and then be completely alone with no way back to where he was before.
Heart is afraid that if Mind is right, with the idea that what he does isn't genuine, that he's being manipulative without realizing it. Then therefore being Whole without himself there is the better option. That he'd be thrown out because his ideas would then be "not worth it" or even "vile"
Soul is afraid that no matter what he does or how good things will be, they'll always eventually split up again or even end up worse. Even then he has no clue what he's supposed to do or be during everything, and so because of that he'll never be whole. Or worse that he'll never really "feel" whole.
#kiiiiiiiinda just saying what is a bit talked about in the album but eh#i like this#fun fact: i made this & saved it as a draft back when it was just barley over 100#finally being posted at 500#wanting to post my own at each hundred mark cos why not#i say that but there's only one more submission in the queue atm soooo#send me your headcanons now to make my own ideas for special occasions get it like special hahaha [please send more i only have so many]#[idk what to do after I run out help]#haha anyway#next are my old tags from when i first made this post#cj soul#cj mind#cj heart#chonny jash#wow did KJ just attempt to make an angst headcanon? never thought that would happen#anyways idk how much this makes sense but eh it works#if theres anything to get from this or how my ideas with them work#mind can be overly paranoid. heart can be too protective of himself. and those idea make them believe the other has it out for them#soul has no idea how to really deal with that let alone what he's supposed to be#or something along those lines#idk its 5am man idk what im talking about#i need to go to bed pfft#chonnys charming chaos compendium
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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RealAgeAU - Reunion
Fun fact. I was planning on going through these drabbles to see where I still had a bit of a blank spot timeline and story wise. and I did NOT get far.
Because I realised. I never made a tiny drabble about how I pictured the guys reuniting to go back to Nightmare!
So. That is this! (also yes i am hinting at bad sans poly but we will see where that all ends)
First and Prev Drabble (with the original prompt by @spotaus ) Next Drabble
*-----------------*
Cross frowns as the knife once again can't cut through the universe.
This... is an issue.
Cross had managed to get close but for some reason the knife could not connect with Nightmare's universe and castle.
Had... had Nightmare banned him?
Cross hopes not. He knows he had been stupid for running away but he had just! He needed! He had just needed a moment for himself!
Cross tries to take a deep breath and relax. It is fine! Think! Think there is probably another reason!
NIghtmare had been shrinking and losing his form... maybe he is just tired and resting and that affects the universe he is in? Maybe?
Cross wishes Dust was here, Dust knows so much more about magic stuff than he does. Sadly Cross was an idiot and just went out on his own without saying goodbye.
He looks at his phone and opens the message screen again. He clicks Dust's contact and considers typing a message.
Just a quick one to ask for help getting back?
He sighs and puts the phone away. No. This is his mess up and he can fix it himself! He didn't need them or Nightmare to fix his messes!
Again...
Cross shakes his skull and looks to the notes in his phone. He finds the right one. It is a small list of items that should help connect him to Nightmare's universe.
When he first started working for Nightmare the god had told him that the castle and the universe it is in can be hard to find or connect to because of his magic. The items would help the magic in his knife, or the teleportation crystals, locate it and focus on it.
Cross pulls out the list and reads it again.
seven candles, unscented
autumn leaves
a very sweet apple
a dreamcatcher
a way to light a magical fire
be in an universe as close as possible
Cross checks his list and bag and groans. He had only managed to get the apple and the leaves so far. this stupid universe only had a few very small and old towns and it is honestly getting on his nerves!
Cross had just been nervous about leaving this universe. He didn't know this one and just because he managed to jump to it didn't mean he would be able to do it again.
The phones had an extra feature to make it known to them if they were near the castle. it had lit up at this spot after quite a few universes that didn't do it.
Meaning he was not leaving it!
Agh. he could ask if Horror is having more luck and-
WAIT!
Cross looks back over his shoulder and sees Horror walk past.
Cross doesnt think and rushes after the large skeleton "Horror! wait up!"
horror blinks and looks over "Oreo?"
Cross pulls a face at the nickname but catches up to him "What are you doing here?"
Horror looks slightly sheepish as he rubs his neck "You know... regret... trying to get back..."
Cross frowns "Get back- wait... did you leave as well?!"
Horror frowns at him "As well?" then his sight finds Cross' bag and cross can see Horror take note of the items in there. Horror looks back at him with a frown "You can't make the jump either?"
Cross feels both better and worse. Maybe he isn't banned! Or at least he isn't alone in being banned! which just makes him feel like a jerk. He nods and groans "not having much luck with getting the things i need. only got the apple and the leaves..."
Horror blinks but gets a small half grin on his face which Cross thinks should be criminal with how goo- OKAY he is stopping that line of thought.
Horror calmly gets his phone and turns it to enable Cross to see the items in his inventory. a lot of foods and- oh! a sweet apple. and unscneted candles!
Horror keeps grinning "Seems like we are getting close."
Cross grins and nods as he walks with the taller skeleton "Any idea why we can't get in?"
Horror shrugs "multiple options. dunno which."
Cross nods as he looks down "Yeah i figured."
They walk and search together before a loud gasp and Cross is suddenly tackled form behind. Cross yelps as he loses his balance. The only reason he doens't fall over is because Hroror manages to catch both him and whichever idiot rushed into him.
"Criss-Cross! H!"
Ah. nevermind. Cross knows that idiot. Cross glares over his shoulder at the grinning Killer "Why would you tackle me?!"
Killer grins but the grin turns sharper then just friendly "Had to make sure you guys didn't up and leave again without a single fucking word Criss-Cross!"
Cross winces and looks to the side "Yeah... I guess..."
Horror looks guilty as well before looking at Killer "Why are you here? instead of at the castle?"
Now it is Killer's turn to look away and he shrugs "After all of you guys left I figured i would try it myself. the whole solo-rouge-vagabond dealio. I didn't like it. So I am going back ot Nightmare and see if he needs a right hand still...." more thoughtful "or maybe babysitter? If that whole shrinking thing kept up."
Yeah and that line causes more guilt than before. because they really just all left Nightmare alone to deal with whatever was affecting him. Instead of at least offering help as they should have as his henchman and teammates. Nope! instead they all just left!
Cross rubs his arm "Yeah... we are on our way back too... You got stuff for the ritual?"
Killer sighs "Only the lighter. But that is because i already had one."
Horror frowns at Killer "All of us? Dust too?"
Killer nods "Just walked away. not a word or grabbed anything as far as i know."
Cross covers his face "We are the worst. terrible people." thankless, untrustworthy, unloyal. Cross can think of quite a few more words to describe them.
"We knew that already."
Cross, and Killer for that matter, curses as he jumps back. Only to see Dust standing by them, hood up but face visible with his bored expression.
Killer is by now standing behind Horror and glares at Dust "Don't do that! My soul is already fragile!" the soul shaped floating soul wiggles but stays steady.
Dust raises a brow and looks unimpressed "Don't talk about others then."
Horror chuckles and smiles "Good to see you dust. join us?"
Dust nods "Can't make the jump. what are we mission still?"
Cross takes out the list and after comparing what they have they realise they are only mission the dremacatcher, which Dust pulls out of his pocket.
Cross gasps "Where did you find that? I checked every store!"
Dust shrugs "stole it."
... right. that is also an option.
They take the items outside of town and get it ready.
The dreamcatcher as base with the candles all around it. The leaves used to wrap the apple, the only use one and Horror eats the others as they work.
Killer holds up the lighter and after focusing for a moment flicks it. instead of the normal yellow flame a bright pink flame appears. Killer lights all the candles adn waits for a moment until the smoke circles one another. Last Killer lights the leaves enclosing the apple without disturbing the smoke trails.
The new smoke trail joins the other seven and the whole pile bursts into flames but no heat comes off it. the flame remains pink for a moment before turning purple and then turning black.
Killer grins and looks at Cross "cut away!"
Cross nods and cuts right above the flame and the universe shimmers. The smoke finds the small slice and fills it, moments later the flame and fire travels up towards the slide using the smoke and it opens a black portal, still smoking.
They rush through it and manage to get through it before the portal burns up.
Cross looks over his shoulder "And there shouldn't be anything left?"
Dsut shrugs "small pile of ash."
Killer grins "it burns up very quickly as soon as a portal is established."
Cross frowns as he looks around. they are in the late autumn forest around the castle. He can see the shadow of it in the distance. He starts walking and the other three join him.
Cross huffs "Still think it is a deceptively easy list..."
Killer shrugs "People don't expect there to be an easy way. Not like they will just test things until they hit jackpot." Then Killer grins wider "Not that anyone knows about Ngihtmare's sweet tooth. and no one knows about the apple, hell we don't even know it."
Cross nods as they walk through the forest. Cross can't help but feel like it feels... empty. Whcih is weird because Cross always knew there was nothing else in this universe or forest but them. but still it feels...different.
Horror seems to notice too as he glances around "feels weird..."
Dust nods immediantly "magic is different."
Cross nods as well "I noticed too..."
Whatever is going on it is big... because either it is affecting the universe, it is affecting nightmare enough that it affects the universe. or Nightmare is affected enough that he made these edits.
Hopefully they can clear all this up once they see Nightmare and apologise to him. The exit the forest and spot the castle in the distance.
Time to go talk wiht him.
*-----------------*
First and Prev Drabble Next Drabble
And as we all know, Nightmare wasn't there. woops. turns out that apology will have to wait a bit Cross.
And the tiniest bit of Bi-panic for Cross (I believe he canonly is Bi in like Xtale so he is still Bi here) ((And yes I am slightly hinting at BSP because I like them but They are kinda too busy to really focus on that in these drabbles but there some interest! but it can also be seen as pureply platonic with just some curious interest honestly *shrug* It is june after all!))
#utmv#realageau#bad sanses#Cross Sans#horror Sans#Dust Sans#Killer Sans#Deaged Nightmare mentioned#Can't believe i wrote a drabble without the baby in it#it is criminal#Also i can't believe i was planning on going by the drabbles for a spot#And i found it after the FIRST ONE#What is this comedic timing?#I really like Cross#he is an anxious bean who is just really trying his best#He deserves the world!#or three boyfriends. Cross has a preference but he will die before admitting it out loud#Someone: How do you deal wiht a crush?#cross: oh easy! I never say a word and when they eventually get ina relationship i cry :)#someone: ... what about confessing?#cross: oh no! That is terrible! So much could go wrong!#someone: what is the worst that could happen?#Cross: they could HEAR me.#Silliness aside. Do any of you mind the hints of Bad Sans Poly between those four in there? I think it is cute but like#Want to know what people think. Gonna be real if you still like it without saying anything i am going to assume you guys are fine with it#anyway that is the update for now! Now to continue my search for spots to fill in the drabbles more
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Reading the webtoon and…
Does this imply that Kim Dokja also tried to write a questionnaire for her to fill in since she wouldn’t speak to him, that either he 1) never gave her in the end (especially if he couldn’t find her after she was released) or 2) gave it to her and she STILL refused to answer?
Because that is so so so so awful. It was already bad but if he tried so many ways to get her to speak and she still gave him no response, regardless of her reasoning… isn’t that still directly choosing to cut herself fully out of his life? Why in the hell did she lie for his sake and allow him to visit her if she wanted to never speak to him again?
I know everyone claims Kim Dokja is just like her in sacrificing himself for loved ones, but at least he tries his best to stay with them and to keep them in his life. He still chooses sacrifice, but it’s not because he intends to never return. He always returns (even if much later than planned).
The only time this differs is with 51%, when he STILL tried his best to stay with them - at least as much as he could.
I sometimes like Lee Sookyung, but I am mostly still SO mad at her for completely ignoring her child since he was 8 years old. Especially when he must have looked like shit any number of times from being mistreated and bullied by family, friends, army, employers.
But maybe that’s just the fragment in me being eternally pissed with her. She DOES love him, but like he says in the webtoon in this chapter - maybe such truths are painful enough to be false anyways, because they’re just SUCH bullshit. That’s not how affection should work, if you actually care about someone and want them to be happy.
#RAWWRGHHH I WANT TO SHAKE HER SO MUCH#LOOK AFTER YOUR KID#and if you can’t do that because of circumstances at least ACKNOWLEDGE HIM#yes I do know she cared and it’s just that she mistakenly believes he’s better off this way without her but like#then WHY does she still insert herself back into his life when he’s finally stopped trying to get her to speak?#yes yes others have great analyses on her and their relationship and I usually agree with their logic but it’s still. So. Hard. to like her#but then I remember that this story was the little Dream’s wishful thinking to cope back then on his own#and so maybe in his world Lee Sookyung never ever would speak to him again#he just wished she would so he wrote it down as happening for This older version of him#and that’s somehow worse because like#even in the story where he got her to speak to him again she still won’t speak so he has to force the words out some way (via outer god)#and if that’s true then it’s still just his interpretation of her actions and choices#and not her own since she never told him#so like ARGGHHH#but I like to believe that characters have autonomy despite their respective author’s efforts in documenting them#so she still chose to speak all of this too and he would have accurately interpreted her this way because she controls what she says#even if he (little Dream Kim Dokja) is the one writing it down as wish fulfilment fix-it fic#a fix-it for himself and not just for the other people he loves#😭😭😭#orv#orv spoilers#omniscient reader’s viewpoint#lee sookyung#kim dokja
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Feeling conflicted about the cyberpunk thingy impulse is going for because like yeah it’s a great theme and I like the aesthetics a lot but what I really like most about cyberpunk is the themes of corporate alienation and/or transhumanism etc etc which I know will not be addressed at all and in fact it’s kind of stupid of me to expect that at all from a minecraft series. Does anyone else get that or just me
#this is an issue I’ve been having with mcyt content in general you know. not ragging on impulse specifically#it’s just… I find it difficult to reconcile the quality of narrative focused mcyt content with its complete lack of commentary#should it have commentary? I believe it could if it wanted to. I don’t think it has to#but then you see these genres being… skinned and worn as cloaks#taking the aesthetics and story without any of the meaning behind it#and when it was just Minecraft builds that was expected. I guess it is still expected and I’m being a huge snob#but like. mcyt narrative is so fucked from a quality standpoint. you can’t even have villains who are other mcyters because people#will get mad at them#is that an unrelated issue? maybe. but I don’t think so#idk. mcyters aren’t expected to be storytellers and they don’t need to be#but I see these things happen over and over again and it’s just uncanny to see something that walks like a story talks like a story#but at the same time has absolutely nothing of value to say#it’s very early on so maybe there will be something done with this concept but I doubbbt it. I would be very pleasantly surprised#astro speaks#hermitcraft#not putting this in the impulse tag cause he would be more likely to see it#and I don’t want him to feel like he has to address this at all#it’s more just me noticing a trend
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#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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this might be the post surgery drugs talking but i believe everyone will get what they deserve and max will be showing up in australia for christmas this year with at least 12 dirt bikes for daniel and they’ll live their best aussie summer holidays forever and daniel will be so so happy and we will also be so so happy
#im achieved a beautiful state of delirium right now i think my third eye has opened#as chappell roan said my kink is karma and may everyone get what they deserve#my third eye also is saying somewhere matthew and callan are real and i do believe that#there something post canon that isn’t in the fic but does happen afterwards that will make so many people feel feral and that’s my goal#i never claimed they were smart i mean look at them matthew grew up on max and daniel he was screwed from the beginning#okay i will sleep now and when i wake up in the morning i have a feeling i will be so confused
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something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret
#so he gets to watch Loki be unfavoured or try to do things and HE KNOWS WHY#but Thor can't SAY anything about it bc he's not supposed to#and Thor obviously has no way to reconcile that Loki is Jotun which means Jotun can't possibly be plain monsters#so Thor and Loki both keep badmouthing the frost giants#Thor gets to watch Loki hate on the frost giants while knowing Loki is one and idk something about that doesn't sit right with him#Thor basically gets to watch Loki fail at things and to Thor it's like 'oh yeah of course he's not as good or doesn't fit in'#he gets to watch and learn bad war stories and that's just how they learn about how horrible the Jotnar are#and i think occasionally Thor would stop to really process that fact#but most of the time Thor is just like. yeah that's a thing but it's not like it matters#even tho Loki being Jotun totally IS an important thing#he's just used to ignoring that it's not since he'd been told pretty far back#and it was apparently never relevant to their parents to inform Loki so *shrug*#ALSO ALSO Loki finding out so long after and being devastated and ''they told you of my parentage did they not?''#but make it Thor 1#make it happen when Loki goes to Earth to visit Thor too hjsvfdsh#Loki: I have reason to believe I'm not related to any of you by blood.#Thor: uh well that'd be a little hard wouldn't it#Loki finds out that Thor knew he was adopted/Jotun before him too#lets get that breakdown moving along
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