#and being open about where we have difficulty when it comes to understanding what people are saying

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[thethingything]

the thing about people setting boundaries with us is that it means I don't have to worry as much about whether they secretly think I'm really annoying or whatever, because if they've set boundaries and told me when stuff I do bothers them in the past, then I know they're willing to tell me if I'm doing something they don't like, and can assume that if they haven't said anything, I'm probably fine

[cosmogyros]

Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.

And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.

Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!

I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)

Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).

[seresinhangmanjake]

Defending His Lady

Feyd-Rautha x wife!reader

Summary: Both Feyd and your son take issue with the people of Giedi Prime not accepting you as their Lady. Part of the His series

Notes/Warnings: Based on a request. It's a little bit different. Typos, probably.

Words: 1250

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

Years ago, when you imagined your future, it wasn’t this. It wasn’t on this planet. It wasn’t with the husband and child you have. It wasn’t with the title you obtained from your marriage. You imagined light glowing through an open home, frilly gowns, a stuffy Lord, and a daughter who would be treated like a princess. It wasn’t necessarily what you wanted for your future, but it was what was likeliest to be. You’d be a foreign Lady on a new planet, yet respected just as much as their home-grown Lord.

You learned rather quickly that that’s not always how it works. And while you wouldn’t trade the life you have—not your husband, not your son—for anything the universe could offer, you can’t deny the difficulties that come with being the wife and mother of the Harkonnen line of Giedi Prime. 

The people wanted Feyd to marry one of their own, certainly not the concubine their na-Baron once took. They wanted purity. To them, you are tainted blood, and despite your status on this planet, many cannot resist treating you like a parasite. In the five years that have passed, you’ve taken the poor treatment and whispered words with as much grace as you can, knowing Feyd is always there to end the lives of those who step out of bounds, but it’s harder to ignore now that Fionn is no longer a baby.

Your son is growing. His ears catch more than you’d like. He notices how his father reacts to the harsh words directed at you and how he never sees the people who speak them ever again. He’s gathering the pieces that his mother is often disrespected, and that is the last thing you want.

—

“He sees it,” you tell your husband as you slip into your nightgown.

“He doesn’t see it,” Feyd says, pulling back the top layer of covers on the bed and settling under the sheets. When he reaches out his hand, you snuggle into his embrace. His arms are snug around you. His lips press a kiss to your hairline. “You worry too much.”

You hold in your huff of frustration. “I do not. He asked me as I put him to bed if bad people are hurting me and if that’s why Daddy keeps making them disappear.” Feyd pulls back to look down at you, his brow furrowed. You nod. “He sees it.”

Feyd exhales heavily through his nose. As a father, he’s been diligent, so very careful with how he leads his son; a surprisingly delicate guidance—something he didn’t have growing up. What started from Feyd’s fear of your son being too much like him died as the boy showed only love, but Feyd has continued his intricate training. He has trained so that even at the age of four, Fionn is vigilant, particular with his words, and practical in his choices. He trains so that outside factors are not as influential. He trains so the boy can think for himself. And it shouldn’t be a shock that he notices what happens in his own home. 

“It’s time he understands then,” Feyd says.

Your eyes go wide and you let out a light gasp. “Feyd, he’s four.”

“There’s no point in hiding what happens to them if he’s already curious. He’s as stubborn as you are,” he tells you. “And he’s old enough.”

—

“Mommy, where are we going?” Fionn asks, his little hand tugging on yours to get your attention. 

You take a deep breath, sucking in the dank air that leads to prisoner cells. You’re not sure how this is going to go, but you agreed and you need to let it play out. “Daddy wants to show you something.”

Fionn’s head turns to Feyd. “Is it a bad man, Daddy?”

Feyd pauses halfway down the hall and crouches in front of his son. You release Fionn’s hand so he can fully face his father. 

“Yes,” he says. “It’s a bad man.”

“He hurt Mommy?”

“Some of our guards heard him talking about your mother. He said rude things, called her names. He wished for harm to come to her.”

Fionn makes a soft noise of surprise. Name-calling—he considers that one of the worst of crimes, knowing what it got him when he insulted the little Lady of House Kenric. 

“But why?” he asks. 

“It doesn’t matter why,” Feyd says. “What matters is that we protect the ones we love, yes?”

“Yes,” Fionn agrees with a sharp nod.

Feyd looks up at you, silently commanding that you stay here. The last time you entered a cell to face the one who insulted you, more abuse was hurled at you until it tapped into a well of internal shame. It took you three days to shake that off, all the while your husband begging for you to return to your natural state of uncaring. 

You’ve always cared though, to some degree. It doesn’t matter that they like you so much as it matters that you’re not a stain on Feyd’s reputation. After all, he’s the Baron now, and one day, his son will be. If the people of Giedi Prime cannot forget where you come from, you worry they will never forgive Feyd, and worse, that they will never accept Fionn as their ruler. 

Feyd takes your boy’s hand once again and leads him the rest of the way. They stop at the correct cell and when a guard turns a key, they head inside. 

Inching your way down the hall, you halt just outside of it. Your finger goes to your lips to ensure the guard does not give you away, and with your back to the stone wall, you hear Fionn.

“He did it?”

The man is silent, likely knocked unconscious from Feyd’s earlier visit. You suppose he’ll be awake soon enough. 

“Yes,” Feyd tells him, his voice dropping an octave, “He did.”

“Did he apologize? He should apologize to Mommy.”

Feyd releases a sigh. His son is much more diplomatic than himself. But your husband can’t fairly be bothered. That’s the point of his parenting: to raise a better Baron than both he and his uncle have ever been. 

“Son, we do not let men like this apologize. We do not let them near your mother.”

“Oh.”

“So what do you think we do with them?”

Fionn hums, and it’s so much like his father that it’s as if he has stood on the sidelines of every death your husband has executed. The way Feyd hums as he plays with his victims. A fake hum of consideration, of contemplation. What should I do with them? How should they leave this world? Questions he pretends to ask as if he hasn’t planned their deaths out from the moment he was informed of the crime. And that’s the hum your son gives. He hums like a natural monster in the making. You wouldn’t be surprised if the boy is tapping his finger against his chin as he thinks. 

You feel an ounce of pride. There’s more to him than a kind heart, lovely as that heart is. He will be a fearsome Baron, but one that will show mercy when mercy is fit. However, here, now, mercy is not fit, and his father has made that clear.

“Would you like the first stab?” Feyd asks. “Top of thigh.”

The shing of metal scraping against Feyd’s sheath fills the space. A small blade. Good for Fionn’s hand.

“Which thigh, Daddy?”

Feyd chuckles. “You choose.”

[lazycats-stuff]

Hiiii! I was wondering if u could do an male reader x batfam, where the reader is deaf and has to use sign language? P.s I love Ur work

Of course I can. Thank you for loving my work. Also, a heads up, I'm not deaf nor do I know anyone who is deaf and I have done my research on this. So, if there are some inaccuracies, I would like to say sorry in advance and if something is off, please bring it to my attention so I can correct it. And yes, it's a bit short, but I think I might be getting a writer's block... I hope not, but I think I might.😭

Summary: (Y/N) is deaf.

Warnings: none, a quick mention of death

Being deaf is not that easy. (Y/N) was deaf from birth and had learned ASL to communicate with others. It wasn't easy, but he managed. When his mom passed away and we went to his father Bruce to live with, all the boys had to learn ASL. Before, they used yes or no question that were either on their phones or pads of paper.

Of course, that doesn't manage when a deaf person is living with them full time. Alfred already knew ASL, having it learned when (Y/N) was born. Bruce as well. Both Bruce and Alfred knew it fluently and had fun communicating with their son and grandson. Not to mention, Bruce supported anything that had to do with deafness. And he was even the advocator for the deaf community in Gotham.

The boys?

Well... It was a tad more difficult. Jason and Dick had a bit of difficulty learning, but they were trying. Although still relying on pieces of paper and something similar until they learn the ASL. They know that (Y/N) can read lips so that it something that they also use to their advantage. Also, they listened to (Y/N)'s preferences in communication.

(Y/N) informed them that it would be nice of them to focus on his face, to not turn their heads away because he needs to focus on their lips, as much as signing too. Jason and Dick understood, more so when they understood how much he needed to focus on communication, despite not hearing.

And more importantly, patience. Jason and Dick understood that hearing is something that a lot of people, them included, take for granted.

And I can hear you asking about Tim and Damian.

Tim had no problem learning ASL, in fact, it was a lot of fun for Tim. He, alongside Bruce and Alfred, was the most fluent. It was fun figuring out how to let (Y/N) know when he is coming into his room. They decided on the approach of opening the door just enough so he could flick the lights on and off quickly, just so let him know he is entering.

They saw that from a father on YouTube who has a deaf daughter. And everyone has implemented that if they are entering (Y/N)'s room. A nice alternative to knocking was the general consensus when it came to the matter.

Damian, on the other hand, couldn't really bother to learn it because he thought that (Y/N) was defective, not really valuable to the family. So, he wasn't very well liked in the family at first. The family had a simple rule.

Don't insult (Y/N) and don't mess with him. Sure, fights are normal with siblings, every single family in the world has those fights. Whoever has siblings can atest to that.

But insults about (Y/N) are unacceptable. And sure, that looks like favoritism, but everyone had a soft spot for (Y/N). That's why. And besides, does anyone want to insult a deaf person?

Without a reason, a good one as well, majority would say no.

But back to Damian.

His mindset was, if you are weak, you are not useful for the family. Bruce and the others tried to erase that mindset out of Damian. And Damian himself wasn't that rude to (Y/N), simply ignoring him. (Y/N) couldn't understand why, but the rest told him about Damian's mindset and what happened to him.

(Y/N) understood from then on and tried to not take it to heart.

And Damian was slowly but surely changing. He got all the rules regarding (Y/N) and started following them. And, he slowly started learning ASL. Damian, found this to be a bit difficult, since he never had to use his hands to communicate, but he actually enjoyed it.

And it gave him a perfect excuse to bond with (Y/N), practicing his ASL. And his understanding of it in general. (Y/N) knew that Damian was trying, giving him an effort and (Y/N)'s heart was happy to see his brother trying and not being... Cold.

(Y/N) was very happy.

It was one lazy morning, lazy Saturday more specifically, for everyone. Everyone slowly migrated to the kitchen to get some coffee and food from Alfred. Everyone was down expect for (Y/N), who now slowly woke up due to the sun light in the room, coming from a window above his bed and on the opposite wall.

He made his way down slowly, attracting attention from everyone, who signed good morning to him. (Y/N) signed back as well, sitting down onto his spot, Alfred giving him some coffee and some food to eat.

" How is everyone? " (Y/N) signed, looking at the reactions and signing from everyone.

The answers were varied.

From ' I'm great, you? ' to ' I want more rest, but my body can't take anymore.'

(Y/N) smiled, happy to know that he couldn't fall asleep as well. For some reason, it was difficult to fall asleep last night. He didn't know why, he just couldn't fall asleep.

(Y/N) nodded as he dug into his meal, the usual bowl of something light that Alfred whipped up in the morning. (Y/N) always preferred something more lighter in the morning. Nothing really greasy and heavy.

" What are the plans for today? " (Y/N) signed and everyone stopped to think, making sure to be in (Y/N)'s line of sight.

" I'm just going to be in my study, I have something to finish up in regards to the Wayne Enterprises. " Bruce signed and (Y/N) nodded, turning to look at others, sipping his coffee.

" I'm going to train. " Damian signed back.

" I'm going out with some friends, " Dick signed and then turned to Jason.

" I'm going to be doing spring cleaning of my weapons. " Jason signed back to (Y/N).

" And I'm simply going to be in my room. We can hang out later if you want. " Tim signed with a big smile on his face and (Y/N) smiled back. The two didn't really hangout much recently. And this Saturday is going to be the perfect day to do it.

[misspelledwordswizard]

the chain reacts to reader dancing belly dance like Shakira

that's all

aIt would be a good way to earn some rupees now that I think about it

Oh yes, that was so much fun to write! some were a little platonic, others not so much, Wind's completely, of course. Thank you for the request, I hope you like it!

The Chain needs money. That’s the problem we’re currently dealing with, and everyone thought of something they could do to make up for our lack of rupees. Some offered to search for rupees in the grass, easy but time-consuming. Others thought of offering their services in the village near where we were. The lack of money is so worrying that we can’t even pay for the inn, so we’re camping nearby. 

I wanted to help too, of course, but when I tried to say something, they didn’t listen, saying that I didn’t need to worry, that they would deal with it. While everyone dispersed through the village, leaving me to “explore”, I decided that I would go against what I was told and get the money myself. Stubborn? A little. 

In the end, there wasn’t much I could do anyway, I would get bored quickly. Rummaging through my things, I found the perfect object to use, which would allow me to at least try to get some rupees, while I could still have fun.  I found a place where I could change into a belly dancing outfit that would also help to attract the attention of others. 

While looking for a place to perform in the center of the village, I came across a man who was doing something similar to what I wanted to do, but with music. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I asked him if I could perform alongside him, using his music to dance to, which he agreed to. 

Soon I was performing a belly dance, the sound of the coins on my waist synchronized with the music being played, and my surroundings began to fill with curious people, some of whom gladly helped by leaving a few rupees. Everything was going well, until I saw a familiar blonde approaching. 

Four 

The shorter man approached where I was performing, squeezing through the crowd with great difficulty. Finally, when he could see me clearly, his eyes widened in surprise. 

I thought about stopping to explain myself, it was a bit embarrassing, but I was already very focused on this whole thing, and in the end, it was working. He moved closer to me, until he was right next to me, so I could hear him more clearly. 

— What are you doing? What’s all this for? – He asked, so that only I could hear. 

— I’m getting rupees! I had to do something to help with this, so I’m using one of my skills. – He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, his cheeks taking on a pink hue as he looked away. 

— That’s... pretty clever, actually. But you don’t have to put yourself out there just for the money! 

— It’s okay, I like it! And it’s been a while since I’ve been able to do something like this, so I’m having a great time. 

He looked at me for a moment, looking almost indignant, but then he smiled and sighed. 

— Okay, but I’ll stick around then, to make sure everything’s okay. 

Hyrule 

The boy walked through the crowd, confused about what all the fuss was about, until his eyes landed on me. The poor guy turned so red he looked like a tomato, he stood there, motionless, staring at me while I was still dancing. He stayed like that long enough to worry me, if he hadn’t reacted soon, I would have had to stop the dance to check on him. 

He blinked rapidly, coming out of his trance, then approached me shyly, embarrassed by the attention he gained from the others for doing so. He used such a low voice that I had difficulty understanding. 

— Hey, why are you doing this? Not that you don’t look amazing! You’re very pretty, I mean, you’re very talented, but why do this now? 

The poor guy looked totally nervous. I imagine that in his era it wasn’t common to see women with such “vulgar” clothes, especially dancing in such a different way in front of several strangers. Or maybe that was only done by a certain type of women. 

— Oh, I’ve managed to get us some rupees! Don’t worry, this is just an artistic performance. 

That seemed to calm him down a bit, still without reaction, he went to a more secluded corner, where he could stay and wait for me to finish, so that I wouldn’t be alone. 

Legend 

— What the hell is this? 

The blond man complained, not caring about the attention that was turned to him, he looked at me with a sullen face, judging me to the core, with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer. 

— A belly dance performance. – That was all I replied. 

— And for what? Are you trying to get the attention of the entire kingdom? 

— No. I’m trying to make some money. 

— Hasn’t it been made clear that you don’t have to do anything? 

— But I wanted to, it’s fun, I was bored and wanted to help. 

He snorted, but didn’t respond again, contrary to my logic. I thought he would leave in a huff, but to my surprise, the hero just stood there, watching me as I continued to dance. Well, I guess it’s okay to tease him a little more. 

— Are you enjoying the view? – I said, with a mischievous smile on my lips. 

— I am. 

He said, making me gasp in surprise and even making me lose focus and stop for a moment, while I processed his answer, which made him laugh. 

Sky 

The hero of the skies emerged from the crowd, his eyes wandering until they stopped on me. He was visibly confused as to what I was doing, tilting his head to the side in doubt, until he approached and asked. 

— What are you doing? – His tone was not judgmental, just curious and somewhat enchanted by the movements my body was making. 

— It’s belly dancing, I’m performing to try to earn some rupees. 

— Sounds fun! Can I stay and watch? – He asked, seeming excited about it. 

— Sure, I’d love to have you here! – I replied smiling, his support made me want to continue even more, the activity that was already fun in itself became even better, because now my dear friend was there, praising and having fun with me. That thought made me blush, something I hope Sky doesn’t notice. 

Time 

One felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw the tall man there, in the middle of all those people, watching me while I danced without any shame. I automatically thought I would get a scolding for doing this when I was explicitly told that I shouldn’t. However, it had been more of a suggestion than an order per se. 

The man in armor remained there, standing, watching me with a serious face while I continued dancing, trying my best not to lose focus with his gaze and end up making a mistake in some movement, which didn’t work out as well as I had hoped. 

I considered the idea of ​​stopping and getting out of there as quickly as possible, dragging the Old Man with me to avoid confusion, maybe that was what he wanted. Before I could finish this line of thought, I heard a muffled laugh coming from him, which caught my attention. 

Time smiled at me suggestively, as if laughing at my nervousness, knowing very well that he was to blame for it.  He then just walked over, bent down, leaving a few rupees in the small box I used for that, and left, without saying anything, leaving me more confused than before. 

Twilight 

I could see, out of the corner of my eye, the Rancher looking at me among the others, his gaze fixed on me, but he didn’t seem surprised or bothered, just interested in the dance. 

Without worrying too much about it, I continued with my movements, following the beat of the music, moving my hips fluidly just as I had learned. But a part of me couldn’t help but ignore the presence of the blond right there, watching me like a predator watches its prey, which started to distract me more than I would have liked. 

Twi approached, smiling sideways, getting closer and closer, until his lips were close to my ear and he could whisper something for only I to hear. 

— It really is a mesmerizing dance, I would love to see it more often, in a more private way, though. 

He spoke, sending shivers down my spine, and then walked away, leaving me standing there, frozen. I stopped the dance, too shocked to concentrate on it, as I watched him walk away from the place as if it were nothing. 

Warriors 

Shortly after seeing the Captain’s neatly styled blond hair, I could hear whistles and cheers coming from the crowd, with the voice easily unidentifiable as his. He continued to compliment me and act like I was some kind of celebrity, while giving me suggestive looks and laughing. 

I just rolled my eyes, holding back my laughter as he continued to do his provocative antics, drawing even more attention to himself, leaving those around him not very happy with him. 

Wars kept up this repetitive and annoying way, motivated to get my attention, but it was fun to watch him try, so I just let him continue while I danced. 

It wasn’t long before the others started to get annoyed with the blond, telling him to be quiet, which didn’t do much good, so soon he was being kicked out of there, which he couldn’t help but get a good laugh out of me. He whispered things like “you’re killing it!”  as he walked further away being pushed away by some men, which made me just shake my head, rolling my eyes with a smile, and continue dancing. 

Wild 

The Champion’s long golden hair came into my field of vision, drawing my attention to him, who seemed fascinated by my movements. He smiled, excited to see me dancing, and seemed to have quickly understood why I was doing this. 

He applauded along with the crowd, when a song ended and I stopped dancing to catch my breath, then he approached me, with difficulty as other people did the same to leave their rupees. 

— That was amazing, I didn’t know I could dance so well, that sounds hard. 

— Yeah, a little bit, but once you learn it feels natural. 

— Okay, you have to teach me how to do that later. I’d rock it in a gerudo outfit, and I’d make money on top of that. Oh, we could even dance together! – He suggested, excited about the idea, making me laugh. 

— Sure, I wouldn’t mind having company. If you want to stay and watch, I’ll do it for a while longer. 

He nodded excitedly, very interested in the dance itself and how majestic I looked while I was doing it. 

Wind  

The boy looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes as I danced, making me laugh. He approached me without caring about the others who were watching, very motivated to know more about the dance itself. 

— Wow, that’s so cool! Can you teach me? Can I dance with you? What’s that called? – The blond asked me a lot of questions, while I kept dancing and smiling at his excitement. 

— It’s called belly dancing, yes, I’ll teach you, and if you want to dance with me now, I’m sure it’ll be a fun addition, kid. – I joked, answering his questions and ruffling his golden hair. 

He got excited, soon standing next to me and trying to copy my moves, of course, it wasn’t very similar, but he was having fun, and that was more than enough for both of us. And the people watching thought it was cute too, which earned us a little extra money, so it was all profit. 

[elysiansparadise]

Hello my sunshine!

I noticed your ask box was open! I'm so happy!

Could you please do an interpretation of Mars in 11H. I have this placement. Thank you.

Have a fantastic day and a wonderful week.

Stay warm and cozy. ❤️

Hello my love, hope you're doing wonderfully. ❤️

Mars in the 11th house

Here we have natives who are more likely to rationalize when something happens that bothers them, they are not usually so impulsive when it comes to reacting and they may want to see things from different perspectives. They are very ambitious people who, once they have a plan or project that they are passionate about, dedicate themselves fully to it and not only think about it, but do something to achieve it. This placement favors those who want to start their own business, as it indicates that they can earn a lot of money working on something of their own or being their own boss. Since I mention bosses, even if they do not like to command, they have leadership skills and ensure what is fair both for themselves and for members of their group or other members of society. They are the voice of those who are marginalized or ignored and many people can feel taken into account by them. They have no problem approaching and talking to other people, in fact some tend to give the impression of being extroverted, but they highly value their time alone and doing things on their own. This is an ambivert placement.

Now talking about friendship, these natives tend to be funny, motivating and supportive friends, they have a curious way of taking care of their friends and they are not initially emotional, but rather take care of them in more practical ways. They may feel more energetic after spending time with friends or a group of people and are sometimes the person they turn to when a difficulty or problem occurs. These natives are those who tell you the truth no matter how painful it is, and honesty is something they value above all things in their friendships. They may attract more friendships with people with masculine energy, protective people, strong temperaments, or people who motivate them in some way. There may be some drama in your circles, arguments, or just having somewhat boisterous friendships. It is very likely that they prefer friends with similar ideas or perspectives in order to maintain a harmonious environment, as they stand out for defending their ideals tooth and nail. They like to defend causes linked to freedom, whether identity or expression, which is why it is a common placement for activists, feminists, people who fight for equal rights or justice for marginalized sectors of society. They have a healthy empathy in which they do not put others above them, but instead seek to understand and support them.

Although these people are open-minded when it comes to meeting many people, it is somewhat difficult for them to open up emotionally, they tend to be really defensive with their emotional world and may feel that they have to appear strong, if accompanied by other aspects of style, it can make them feel difficulty expressing their most vulnerable side. One of the good things about this placement is that they are very firm with their boundaries and do not stay in places where they are crossed or ignored. They would much rather be alone than in bad company and they have no problem with being alone at times. They seek to form friendships with more practical parameters without getting carried away by just feeling happy with the other person. They need friendships in which they feel they can trust and with whom honesty and loyalty is guaranteed, so even if they appear friendly, they remain alert and observant. In the sexual area, these natives are very open and experimental with their partner, they really like to surprise and be surprised in intimacy, and they always make sure not to fall into monotony. They don't just care about their pleasure, for them it is important that their partner also feels pleasure and feels satisfied.

[justin-chapmanswers]

Hello Mr.Chapman!

I wanted to bring this to your attention with the newest episode! I loved it, it was very good! however, there was this one scene that rubbed me and a bunch of other disabled people in the community the wrong way.

The scene with bot and telling Cabby the wrong information about them and then asking Cabby to not write anything down felt very off,, as someone who suffers bad memory loss from amnesia and such and tends to write things down to remember really threw me and a bunch of others off! i’m really hoping you and the team can bring this up and talk about it and listen to us on this topic! it would mean a lot to me and the other disabled people in the community ❤️

Hello!

Sorry for the delayed response to this conversation, we've all been traveling and I just arrived back home. But yes! Received a lot of questions regarding this here on Tumblr (as well as positive messages that I super-appreciate but of course this deserves to be addressed first), and I definitely want to hit on it before I get swept away again.

Thank you (and everyone!) for all of your messages regarding this topic. I have been reading and ingesting so much of this conversation and am very glad for everyone who's spoken up on the topic. I understand there had been debate regarding what's right and what's wrong with this angle of the Bot-Cabby story, and Cabby's depiction as a whole, but I'd like to put all the comments on the side of "I don't see it that way because xyz" to the side for the purpose of this post (although I appreciate your perspective as well, especially those who personally connect to the material).

I do want to start the dive-in with a sorry to who felt overwhelmed by this conversation as a whole, because clearly elements within the writing could have been tweaked and we wouldn't be needing to have this conversation. But absolutely a good one to have, anyway, because the show's history has been far from perfect in this regard. And, even more-so, want to say sorry to anyone who felt personally hurt by anything in the episode that read as ableist. While this was far from any intention, it certainly lead to plenty of hurt.

I figure I'll try to lay out as much of this conversation as I can, so it's clean and transparent all in one place, but of course feel free to keep the conversation going. It shouldn't end with me, whether that's more asks here or in your own circles.

I'll start with intentions within the writing regarding the more common talking points of the episode, and then hit on where things could have been corrected in execution. As Anonymous noted earlier, there's the segment where Bot presents Cabby with incorrect information. Understandably, leading a lot of people to feel uncomfortable with how this affects Cabby, who has difficulty with information. On my end, this was never really desired for this to come across as good normal healthy behavior. With the queer narrative in mind, Bot is insecure and uses this as a device to cope with their stress over being put under a microscope while they're still learning to feel confident. And have a Bow file in front of them. Hence Bot rejecting open-communication about Test Tube, offered by Cabby early on, to continuing to make outlandish claims about themself, as well as opening up authentically with true statements once they felt that safety and connection that they've needed. Starting the two off in a really rough place, and eventually getting the two to hear each other a little better and start communicating more healthily.

But does that make it any more comfortable to watch when you have Cabby's history in mind? Probably not. Perhaps out of all criticisms that had been laid out, this is the only one that I had not considered coming up in the many months since this episode's been written, until episode release. No excuse, that's on me. I think a lot of it was softened in my head by the fact that Bot had been completely unaware of all Cabby goes through, and that when Bot finally gains some insight, they soften up towards Cabby. I've seen others levy that note in these discussions, but ultimately it's not my place to say. I completely see now why this can be discomforting, especially in its presentation as being doing in such a light playful manner, no matter whether or not it was intended to be seen as a flaw that is fixed in the context of the episode.

There's also the other note that Anonymous mentioned here, regarding Bot telling Cabby to not write anything down. Intentions aren't too different are exciting, all very similar to last time regarding queer insecurity, Bot not understanding Cabby's situation, and the goal for the episode being to show they start in an unhealthy place and land in a good one. I think where a lot of that falters, were that to be the right starting place for the story at all (and understandable if you argue that it shouldn't have been) is not giving Cabby more support before the end of the episode to show that Bot understands them as much as Cabby gets to prove she's gotten to understand Bot.

There was initially space given to that in the episode but to try to tighten things a bit, we figured it'd be okay to hold onto that since there's still time to explore that. But I've given the advice before, even within the II team, to make sure that these types of issues conclude within the context of the episode as to not give any wrong ideas as-to what the takeaway should be. Unfortunately, I overlooked my own advice this time around. I do like the moments given to Bot and Cabby to show that they have learned to support one-another after learning about each other on an intimate level, but I think it's important to vocalize what these understandings are more explicitly.

Aaaaand also in general I've been wishing that I had made that moment a little softer, were it to be there at all. Between script completion and episode release I'm always poking holes in what I've written, especially as I watch it go from page to screen and things may get adapted in ways I didn't (but often should have) anticipated. That line in particular I've found to be pretty harsh in vibe for a while now, so we're on the same page. If it had to be a beat, I think something softer and more communicative could have been helpful. I do think it's fair for Bot to want to put up boundaries, but it could have been an open dialogue on the subject.

The thought then was that while Bot has discomfort with Cabby, due to their difficult history, they would offer Cabby an alternative accommodation via a more healthy form of communication and repetition that could then work as a compromise. But yeah, completely see why that's also a point of iffiness too, as the files are the intended accommodation. This was all less intended to be another finger-wag at Cabby's files in the way that was presented before Cabby returned to the game, but more-so to highlight how difficult the subject is for Bot. But the way that this could ignite both side of the coin should've been accounted for.

On a similar note, there was another point brought up in a separate ask-

"did she really have to us her file as a ramp? i hope that this isn’t going to go into the direction of ‘oh she’s cured now!’"

Similar to above, it's another case of me mentally prioritizing the story of Bot for their concluding-ish episode and their bond with Cabby, as opposed to Cabby as an individual. I had a visual in mind for a very long time of the Bow file crushed at the end of Bot's journey without any intention of it reflecting on how Cabby uses files, but rather about Bot feeling more comfortable in their robotic skin and others understanding them as an individual.

That is to say, no, there was never any intention that this would indicate that Cabby is done with using her files to collect information for better-navigating their life, and for her broader love of information-gathering. it is just to say, whether correct or not to implement, that they understand Bot's boundaries and see why having a Bow file for Bot can be seen as distasteful, now that they better understand who Bot is. Cabby still has the files, and there's always been every desire to continue to shed light on her story and perspective in the future. And now, with more consideration.

An aside, I suppose, but I do love Cabby. One of my favorites, always has been. In every episode I've written with her in which she is a notable character so far (10, 11, 14), I've wanted to lean into exploring how Cabby navigates difficult social scenarios in which, no matter how strained it may be at the start, we land in a place of others learning to see the plentiful good in her and/or show that they're willing to stick by her side wholeheartedly. With the Indefinite Islanders, Yin-Yang, Bot, etc. I say all of this to try to clarify that I've never had any intention of vilifying Cabby, and I'm really sorry to all of those who connect closely to her who feel as though I was trying to make her out to be a bad person. Again, although the intention was never negative, it's the outcome that matters most- so I am sorry.

And I'm not looking for anyone to write to me "great, all good now, all forgiven" or anything. I'm just looking to continue an important conversation. I know even before the episode's release, there's been plenty of this discussion here on Tumblr, which I am appreciative to have been able to look through and analyze as thoroughly as I can to understand every angle.

But yes, thanks for bearing through this long block of text. If anything comes across as messy, apologies, running on two or three or so hours of sleep, but I am happy to hit on anything that needs clarification or other elements later after work. I don't see myself making any big posts like this again soon, but at the very very least I'll read over what's sent in the ask box as always.

While I'm good with any and all continued conversation, my only request is that you all please just go easy on the rest of the crew. It's been a very emotionally-intense last few weeks, and a lot of the team is just in an overwhelmed state at the moment for a thousand different reasons. They're all trying their best to do and handle everything. But it can be a lot, especially when it's dealing with the Internet, and when it's thousands of voices screaming in your direction all at once. Thank you!

[spicyclover]

Unplanned | Part eight

Summary:  You are pregnant with Mick. It’s not going as planned; it’s not planned. Everything happened so fast, and everything was chaotic. Mick has a hard time accepting it. You have difficulty realizing that two of you may not be raising this child.

Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part five | Part six | Part seven | Part eight

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! 

I'm open to requests.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

The following day, he jumps on the next plane available for Canada, which is a three-connection, but he doesn't care at this point. He waits hours for his next connection at the Charles de Gaulle airport. Trying to think about what to say or do.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are forced to land at the Ottawa International Airport due to a snowstorm at the destination point. We apologize for the inconvenience. We sincerely apologize, and our stewardesses on the ground can assist you to redirect you to the next available flights. Thank you for your understanding.”

Mick looks through the window and sees the white expanse covering the airport's ground. The runway was covered with heavy snow, but he could see the plows clearing the runways quickly to allow the aircraft to land safely. Dressed in a little sweater and a T-shirt. He regrets not thinking about Canada’s complicated weather, especially at this time of year. Of course, it’s cold in January, and there’s snow. It’s not Australia, after all. He also regrets not putting a hoodie in his bag. He knows full well that he will catch his death once he gets out of the heat of the airport.

All the passengers on the plane complained about the change of direction, and several disgruntled people were already praising the company’s complaint. Mick looks up and knows full well that it’s not their fault. All of eastern Canada is blocked because of this storm.

However, he is thinking about what he will be able to do next. How will he get to Quebec City? He thought about the various options as the aircraft suddenly landed on the runway. He clings to his seat, taking a deep breath. He never liked to fly, let alone in a storm. The bell that says the seat belt is no longer necessary rings, and everyone rushes into the aisles to pick up their luggage as quickly as possible. Something else Mick doesn’t like. Being glued to strangers, he sits quietly in his place and waits for people to come out to get up and take his bag. He crosses the hallway and follows the arrows that lead him to security. He goes through customs quickly and ends up at the airport gates. He sees people pulling out their winter jackets and big boots. "I really should have dressed." He mumbles to himself, crossing his arms around his body to keep his body warm.

He went to the reception desk to be put on the next flight to Montreal, but it would not leave for three days. “It’s too long.” A little stress invades him, and he wonders how he will reach his destination if no plane lands in Montreal for the next few days. So he sits on a bench and thinks. “I have to get to her.”

He finally finds the best solution to his problem. “If I can’t fly to her. I’ll do what I know best. I’ll drive to her." He got up to determine and went to the car rental service.

Renting is the best option right now.

After five hours of difficult driving through the snowstorm, he finally arrived at his destination. The city is completely buried under the ton of snow that fell during the night, the streets are deserted, and it makes the landscape breathtaking. The snow covers the entire St. Lawrence River. He even sees people on snowmobiles, making tracks on the fresh snow to cross the river. Mick knows snow, but snow like this never happens. He never thought that when he came to Quebec, he would be blown away by his landscapes. The sun is rising, setting in the sky.

They spoke about her home. She described the island where she lives. Ancestral houses, fields as far as the eye can see and the different villages of the island. The bridge that connects the island to the city is old but beautiful. Everything seems asleep under its snow mountains, yet several people are already beginning to unfold their entrance, and children are waiting for the school bus. Fortunately, the road is perfectly cleared of snow, allowing Mick to admire the landscape without danger.

He easily finds the house. He remembers as if it were yesterday the description she gave him of her parents' house. She described the landscape and the atmosphere of the place, and he felt it strongly. He exits his vehicle and is surprised that the snow reaches his calves. He tightens his sweater against his body and approaches the house's porch. The lights inside his lit, and he still sees Christmas decorations. The tree shines with a thousand lights. He rings the bell.

A chime agitates and produces a magnificent symphony that mixes with wind and snow. He stands there for a few seconds without a sound and hops on the spot to warm up. Then, he hears through the door a person approaching.

"Yes?" asks the lady, opening the door.

She's staring at Mick from top to bottom, probably wondering what he's doing in a weather like this, dressed like this. Mick looks up at the woman in front of him, and she doesn't look like Y/n, and he feels embarrassed to disturb her. He blushes when he stutters.

"Um... I don't think I have the correct address. I'm sorry to bother you." He quickly steps back and is ready to go down the stair when suddenly.

"Mick," he hears a voice in the distance.

She approaches the entrance door and lets her face be seen in the door frame. A smile from on his face. It's her, and it's really her. He can't believe it. It seems like ages since he last saw her. Her hair is brighter, and her skin is radiant. She seems to radiate for miles. She has a worried look on her face. He's shaking like a leaf, and his face seems frozen from the cold.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, taking him by the arm and drawing him into the hall. "Come, come in. You will catch death."

She closes the door behind him, and the other woman leaves at the end of the long corridor in a room unknown to him, leaving them alone. The young woman helps him take his shoes off, grumbling about not dressing enough for the temperature. She guides him into the living room, sitting him in front of the fire to warm him up. Mick doesn't say much, but he thanks her. He's thankful she didn't throw him like an old sock in his car so he could get out of the country. She leaves in another room, and Mick takes the time to look around at the pictures in front of him sitting on the mantel. He rubs his hands close to the fire, hoping to warm up. She comes back a few minutes later.

"Thank you," he said, taking the hot chocolate in his icy hands.

He shudders and shivers from the cold. She watches him for a few moments before returning to the corridor. She returns with warm clothes and a vast warming blanket. He puts on the clothes, and she tenderly wraps him up like a child in the blanket and caresses his hair. Despite all the anger, she may feel. At this very moment, all she wants is his good. He puts his head between the palm of her hand, taking the time to feel her warmth, keeping her contact a few moments before it is interrupted.

“What are you doing here, Mick?" She asks tenderly as she sits on the couch next to him.

He doesn't know what to say at first. So, he lets his eyes look at the room. He notices the house is small but extremely warm and cozy. The mix of wood and cream makes the home very welcoming and not intimidating. Nothing like his house. He feels good here, and he hopes she is too.

“I... He’s searching for the words he spent hours practicing on the plane and in the car to her house. “I came to see you.” He admits locking his ocean-blue eyes in hers.

“Mick, what did you really come to do? Are you not with Nina?” She wonders with a touch of bitterness in her voice.

He feels the bitterness in her voice, and he feels terrible. Bad because he wants her to know so many things all at once, but she doesn't seem able to listen.

She didn’t want to show him that he hurt her, but she couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the other. "Why is he here? Did the other girl leave him? Is that why he came here?" All those questions invade her mind immediately, and she feels her tear coming up. Her throat tightens.

“No. No. I...” Words struggle to get out, and Mick feels increasingly uncomfortable. His cheeks turn red, and he mumbles an apology again. “I broke up with Nina.” He finally confesses, looking at her in the eye once more.

“Oh, sorry about you.” She isn't sorry for a bit but doesn't feel better either. Strangely, she feels weird about all this.

He takes a sip of his hot chocolate. All the sentences he prepared, all the words and promises he made up on the plane, are gone. He wants to tell her the world and even more. "How can he describe how she makes him feel if he doesn't even have the words?" He wants to kiss her, to prove to her that he'll be hers, and only hers by now. But he knows for sure that a kiss isn't the right idea. She needs explication, and quickly. All this situation makes him anxious and stressed.

“No. No. No. She's not important to me.” He puts his coffee cup on the table and turns his body towards the young woman. “I want you.” He mumbles, taking her hands gently in his own.

“Mick...”

“No, listen to me! I screwed up, I know. I shouldn’t have left you alone all this time, and I’ll have. I want to be there for you, with you. I want you to be close to me. The few days we spent together have opened my eyes, and I know what I want now. I...”

"Don’t say it," she implores with eyes full of water.

“I need you to know that. The few weeks without you were the worst weeks of my life.” He approaches her hand and rubs her cheek tenderly. “I don’t just want to be involved in your life because of the baby, our baby. I want to be involved because I...”

“No, stop, Mick.” She says, pushing him away. “You can’t say that when it’s only been a few weeks since you walked out on me, kissing your girlfriend in my face. I can’t... I don’t want those words coming out of your mouth. You’re being unfair to me.” She cries out as she leaves the room in tears.

She hates hormones. She hates the control it has on her. She can't have a proper conversation that doesn't involve tears and screams since the start of her pregnancy. She feels so frustrated with herself and doesn't want to say more things to Mick. She storms out of the room, slamming the bathroom door. Her hormones make this situation somewhat upsetting, a real drama. She locks herself in the bathroom and lets herself slide to the ground.

He has no right to come back like a flower and ask him to forgive him for the weeks of pure sadness that he made her live. He has no right. She bursts into tears and brings her knees back to her chest. She did her best with her growing belly, a little more rounded by her 15 weeks of pregnancy.

On his side, Mick’s remorse seizes him, and he feels at his worst. How she feels and expresses it is worse than he could have imagined, and he never wanted that to happen. He sees the woman who welcomed him, and she approaches him with a compassionate smile.

"Don’t worry. It’s hormones. She’s just upset about the situation, but once she’s calm, she’ll talk to you.” She said as she sat beside him, offering him a comforting pat on the back. "Don’t worry about it. I know that you have good intentions."

"How do you know?" He questions down.

"Well, I talked with your mother a few hours ago. She's a very persuasive woman.” She giggles slightly to relax the atmosphere and reassure him. "She cares about you very much."

“You are her mother?”

“Yes." She nods. "You should go see her."

"I don't think it's the right idea. She hates me." He mumbles, wiping a few tears down his cheek.

"She doesn't hate you. She's upset and pregnant, which are two things that don't go together. Knowing my daughter, she’s probably doing a thousand scenarios in her head, so I think you can go and reassure her." She taps his shoulder gently before getting up again. "You have to lift the handle a little to unlock the door. And a little tip, don’t talk too much. Let her open to you.” She winks at him before heading outside.

Mick nods and gets up from the couch. He listens to her choking sobs with his ear glued to the bathroom door. A pinch in the heart invades him, and he unlocks the door without difficulty. She barely has time to look up as he’s already hugged her. Letting her go through her emotions. She wants to struggle and get away from him, but deep down, she doesn’t want to. She allows her tears to stain his sweater. Mick gently cradles her. She feels good in his arms, reminding her of the day he took her in his coat to keep her warm.

Her sobs subside, and her breathing resumes a normal rhythm. She feels her body relax more and more and closes her eyes, happy to have him back by her side. She gently detaches herself from him to take a handkerchief and blow her nose. She laughs and implores him not to watch her blow her nose. He laughs but does what she says, and he looks away.

They remain for a moment in silence, sitting in the bathroom, enjoying the presence of the other. When Mick’s stomach starts to gurgle strongly, she finally decides to get up. He helps her get back on her feet, and she giggles when she hears his belly gurgling. He blushes heavily when he mumbles an apology. She leads him to the kitchen and orders him to sit down. She takes out a pan and removes the pancake preparation that she made a few hours ago from the fridge.

He takes the time to admire her. Her cream hoodie, which he recognizes from the RIC store, suits her perfectly. She seems cozy and warm while the sun sets on the kitchen windows. As always, the light from the mighty sun reflects on her magnificent strawberry blonde. Mick wants to put his hand in her hair and smell that sweet smell of honey again. Her perfume intoxicates him. He's lost in her beauty that he doesn't even realize she talked to him.

"What?" He mumbles, a bit embarrassed to have been cough daydreaming.

"Do you want maple syrup on your pancake?"

He nods, and they eat in silence. Mick thanks her multiple time for her kindness, and she laughs. She finds him sweet. He is sweet. All those things he says and how he tells them makes her heart go. Butterflies in her stomach. She rests a hand on her belly, rubbing it distractedly, listening to Mick mumbling about his recent discovery about their baby.

The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes she hasn't been fair to him either, especially about the baby. She knows they have to talk about it eventually, but right now wants this peace and quiet moment, without drama, to continue forever. She's lost in her thought and hasn't realized he is asking her a question.

"Hum?"

"How is he?" He asks again, pointing at her baby bump.

"Oh, everything is fine. The baby is perfectly healthy and strong and has a strong heartbeat."

"Really?" Mick’s eyes light up, and she smiles affectionately.

"Yeah! Do you want to hear it?"

"Sure." The spark in his eyes makes her smile even more.

She gets her phone and headphone and comes back quickly. She sets the devices on his head and searches her playlist for the baby songs. She hasn't stopped listening to it since the doctor gave her a record.

For a few seconds, he can't hear a thing. But, little by little, the beats are listened to. Regular and strong. Tears of joy appear in his eyes. This is Mick's first time hearing his baby’s heart beating. Even if it’s not live, he is filled with joy. He smiles fully and gently puts his hand against the young woman’s belly. He caresses tenderly and can no longer hold back his tears. The emotion is strong. He never thought he would be so moved by a very small being not yet born. Seeing him move makes her move, and she wipes her tears. She is more than happy to be able to share her moment with him finally. She ties her fingers to his and puts her head against his shoulder.

"Come with me at ROC this weekend." He mumbles once the recording of the heartbeat is finished. "We have much to discuss, but I want you close, and I don't want this to end."

Mick’s heart beats a thousand a second, and his nervousness makes him blush. To reassure himself after this proposal, he caresses his stomach. God, he can’t wait for the baby to move, for him to feel it too.

She hesitates to accept his request and doesn’t want to find herself in a situation she doesn’t like again. And even more, this is a public event, and many people will be there. It’s one thing to meet his family at home and stay in a private setting, but it’s another to make this story public. He feels his hesitation, and he cannot help but add.

"My friend Sebastian is going to be there. I really want you to meet him. It’s like a second father, a mentor to me. And I want him to see the person who’s going to... I hope... share her life with me." He whispers at the end of his sentence, barely inaudible.

Her heart goes wild, and the butterflies in her belly fly away. She feels light and happy. Happy that he offers her. Glad he chose her. Glad she could finally tell “us” after these weeks of loneliness.

"Okay." She says. "I'll go with you."  

Tag list:

@tyna-19 @ironcowboycopnickel @dreamerrosie @gagaga167 @primadonnasdream @sachaa-ff @majx00 @lissimountf1 @mloyer @playboygeniusphilanthropist​ @sugarbabygirlofdaddy​ @pleasedontfollowimlost​ @blueleonor​ basicallyherondale mariar31

[aoflameandco]

GrimmNell: character study

Well-well-well, I mentioned once that my GrimmNel brainrot is far from being over - so here we go! What else's to analyze about them though? Well, this time we have a new subject to focus on... the Bleach personality quiz!

Yes, I know it's a bit questionable source for a character study, but let me explain! June 2011. The third Bleach Official Character Book UNMASKED was released in Japan. This databook was mostly famous for giving Ulquiorra a more detailed backstory and showing more of Halibel and her Fracción. However, there was another small tidbit for Arrancar's fans - the official quiz from Kubo - Which Bleach character are you? 

The quiz was extremely simple.  Add up the numbers of your full date of birth and don't forget your blood type. Voila! In the end you get a short profile about your Bleach "personality type", which highlights the key qualities of this particular character.

Now, y'all know where I'm going with this. So, what's like to be like Grimmjow- or Nel according to the databook? Let's check it!

And- Even without any translation, we immediately bump into the first problem. There's only Nel's profile. Not Nelliel's.

Well, they're the same person! It would be weird to separate them, right? But yeah... there's a solid difference in a way her kid and adult forms act.

So the question remains - can we apply this profile's info to the adult Nelliel? Let's read it to find out.

a bit messy not word to word translation's incoming, pls take it with a grain of salt

Cheerful and playful

Nel type!

Good at opening people's hearts. Very quick to make bonds, no matter with who - friends or foes. She is attentive and good at conveying information to those around her. But sometimes she says too much.

• works at her own pace • high sense of camaraderie • doesn't run away from difficulties • hero of justice

Ofc this info perfectly fits baby Nel. She quickly befriended Ichigo, even though he was a shinigami; she was a sort of his guide, explaining how Hueco Mundo works; also she is a big chatterbox, saying surprisingly harsh things sometimes. Her attentive side shined during the Ichigo vs Grimmjow fight, when she noticed Orihime's turmoil and gave her a good advice. She is surely down for justice, but it's a little bit difficult to fight for it in her small body. So the real Nelliel has to step up.

Same qualities but a different approach - that's what I would say about adult!Nel. And it's very visible when it comes to her later interactions with Grimmjow, esp in CFYOW.

But before giving some bright examples, let's take a look at his quiz profile as well - to understand the similarities and contrasts between these two characters.

Responsible but mischievous

Grimmjow type

There's still a bit of a boyish heart (shounen no kokoro) in him. But deep inside he's unexpectedly serious and has a sense of responsibility. He catches the information fast and adapts quickly, but his tendency to get bored could be a problem. If he'll improve this aspect, good fortune is likely to come his way.

• has a sense of responsibility • thrives in adversity • quickly adapts • gets bored easily

And - the quiz highlighted thrice (!) that Grimmjow is indeed a responsible person. Something Nelliel didn't expect as well. As a true hero of justice she was prepared to stop Sexta as soon as he starts an unnecessary violence. But to her surprise - Grimmjow was far from an uncontrollable beast and followed his own codex.

A sense of responsibility didn't turn Grimmjow into an obedient boy though. Him and Nel keep arguing due to their different perspectives - especially when it comes to handling the former enemies.

Nelliel easily bonds with anyone - quincy, Aura, etc., meanwhile Grimmjow picks a fight as a first option. This choice isn't just a result of his bloodthirst though. Grimmjow's survival instincts are strong, so he always stays on guard and doesn't trust easily. That's why he warns Nelliel that her pacifism might end up badly for them all.

Another proof that even though he acts as if he doesn't belong to the group, Grimm isn't as indifferent as he pretends to be. Very responsible of him, huh?

Yet there's another obstacle in their dynamic. Their pacing. Grimmjow is quick to adapt and quick to act, meanwhile Nelliel doesn't like to rush and prefers to gather as much information as possible.

Hard to say who's wrong in this case. Quick reaction benefited Grimmjow in general, but ofc Nel likes to remind him about Askin's incident, her favorite argument to cool him down.

And usually her persuasion works, surely Grimm argues back but still stops. When his stubbornness wins though- there's no way that Nelliel will just let him go. She'll do everything to find him, stop him and bring him back.

Nel complaints but doesn't give up on her fellow arrancar, no matter how difficult the other side is. Knowing Grimmjow's past, the sense of camaraderie isn't an empty word for him too. With creak he opens up to Nel, sharing his thoughts with her. Even though she is too bold with her words sometimes, it doesn't look like Sexta feels a grudge against her.

Grimmjow isn't a friendly type. He likes to fight, but a disappointed look quickly appears on his face, if his enemy doesn't meet expectations. He gets bored easily, he always needs some action. And yet- for some reason Nelliel got his attention.

There's no doubt that he sees her as a nice opponent, he even provoked her to fight with a smirk. He easily forgets anyone who didn't pique his interest and yet Nel's reiatsu is safely stored in his memory.

However, it wouldn't be correct to reduce Grimmjow's attention to a desire to fight, when we have several scenes of him watching Nelliel's peaceful shenanigans. He was calmly watching over kid Nel in anime probably wondering about the connection between this brat and the mighty Tres, he was dying of boredom, but still didn't take his eyes off her tea party in the novel. Even Halibel noticed it and offered him to join, but ofc he proudly refused.

So what did we confirm again? Even though Grimmjow and Nelliel share rather opposite views when it comes to socializing or making decisions, some of their character traits are surprisingly compatible. Grimmjow gained some respect points, when Nel started to notice his responsible side, meanwhile he opened up to her pushy yet reliable presence. Nelliel doesn't give up on her persuasion and he doesn't get bored of arguing with her. Covering eo's flaws they make quite a powerful duo, isn't?

So let's hope we'll see more of their rocky bond next season~

[juni-aldaine123]

A PROMISE OF PROTECTION/ snf ; himfri

・❥・fluff . light angst . oneshot . nightmares . comforting . reassurance . cuddling . frieren looks after himmel . based on a dialogue prompt

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

The night is long and cold, and just as unforgiving despite the years, as Frieren remembers. The fire rumbles and crackles when she adds another branch to the charred remains sitting at the base. She is the first one to be on lookout for tonight, for there are monsters that meander the vales of the Northern Plateau. They even had difficulty setting up a camp tonight for they had to battle the ferocious Abyssal Dragon that had impeded their journey and locate a safe spot to spend the dark hours of night in peace.

Though it was long and odious their conflict with the dragon ended with them being victors. But they didn't win without a few spoils of war after all.

Why, their injuries and the scars they bear now are their rewards! Frieren still thinks it was rather pointless to accost the beast head on when they could've taken the easy and safe path through the woods. But needless to say- Himmel the Hero likes a challenge and is known not to back down when presented with one.

"Being an adventurer comes with its own set of dangers," he often reminds her whenever she asks.

"Besides, now people can traverse these roads without hesitance," he happily told her when she sat beside him by the campfire.

Well, that is what it means to be a hero after all, helping people along the way.

But who helps the hero when he is in need?

Frieren can see Himmel's discomfort from where she sits quite clearly, but she thinks she might not have noticed at she not been looking at him; he makes not a sound as he writhes in pain. He bites his lips and keeps his tears at bay but the elf can see him struggling.

'A nightmare...' So even Hero Himmel isn't exempt from such trivial distress.

She moves to sit by his side and attend to him, holding his hand in her hands and playing with his fingers like he does for her whenever she falls ill.

"Even now...you would rather suffer in silence than ask us for help?" she asks the sleeping man and then roams her gaze over their two unassuming companions snoring away peacefully. Perhaps it is for the best. Surely Heiter and Eisen would've noticed too and they been keeping watch now. Heiter might've even done a better job than her at comforting Himmel and she's not too sure about what Eisen would've done. But she's the only one awake and must do what is to be done to arouse Himmel from his nightmare.

Heiter had once told her how to deal with one. Though it had only been in theory.

Frieren hopes it works on Himmel.

"It's alright Himmel. You're safe. We're safe. What you're seeing isn't true," she whispers in a monotone. But then she gently pulls his head in her lap, like he does for her whenever she claims to take a nap, cradling him like a child. She frees one of her hands and runs her fingers through his hair hoping to ease his pain.

"I'm here Himmel. Frieren is here. Right by your side." And as if her name were a magical spell, all signs of hurt vanish from his body when Himmel hears her and he falls limp in her hold, visibly relaxing. Frieren lets out a small smile, happy to have helped her hero, happy to realise he feels safe from a now fading nightmare.

"I'll always keep you safe Himmel." Lips trembling she breaks out an amused huff when Himmel turns his head and starts to nuzzle his face against her stomach. "Nothing can hurt you when I’m here," she promises and for the remaining night as she watches over their party her hold on his hand doesn't loosen, her embrace doesn't quiver and her fingers don't stop fluttering against his forehead and blue silken locks.

When Eisen wakes up to take over her shift she simply presses a finger to her lips when she sees him open his mouth to question her and then points at his mattress, urging him to close his eyes once again and to allow her to handle this. The warrior understands her well enough and goes back to sleep.

Come morning Himmel is the first one to wake up and find himself looking up at the sleeping face of Frieren.

And he can't help but love her more.

"Thank you Frieren," he calls to the cool dewy breeze.

[seresinhangmanjake]

It's What You Make It

Dad!Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader

Summary: Jake hasn't been on the best of terms with his parents since they found out about you and his baby, and now his mother decides she wants to meet her granddaughter.

Warnings: cursing maybe? Protective Jake

Notes: Suggested by an anon / Part of the Oh, Baby Universe.

Words: 4200

-----

“Jake, dear, your mother would like to meet her granddaughter.”

It was cruel, really, to have such devastating words leave the lips of one of those he loved the most, but maybe that was why she of all people was tasked with it. He wasn't likely to listen to another on the matter. Hell, had anyone else but she called, he wouldn't have answered, and he struggled not to see it as a bit of a betrayal. A trick.

"Gram," he sighed into the phone, running a hand through his hair, "I'm not doing this with them. After everything we just faced with her mother, why should we put ourselves through dealing with mine?"

"You know she had nothing to do with that email."

"Yea and nothing to do with discouraging it, either."

The other end of the line went silent. Jake looked to his left where his daughter was being bounced on her mother's lap just out of earshot. You smiled at the girl, but the stone now sitting on Jake's heart kept it from swelling as it normally would at the sight of your brightened face. 

His perfect little family. Safe and sound in California. Far from Texas. Far from the people you'd yet to learn criticized you for your past choices. 

When you first asked about them, Jake couldn't hide the fact that his parents were displeased with the coming of his daughter. He'd blamed it on their lack of open-mindedness to the girl being brought into his life under ‘unique’ circumstances, and while that was in fact a part of it, the bulk of their problems they placed solely in you and not trusting why you bothered to return when you left him to begin with. They buried you under a mountain of their judgment and you were completely unaware. But that was how he wanted to keep it. He wanted you in the dark. Oddly enough, the darkness was where you were safest. And that plan had been working so well, too. You had a healthy understanding of the difficulty of parents, and after the way your mother treated him the month prior you hadn't pressured him for more information on his. 

I only care about the three of us, Jake. As long as we're together, nothing else matters—that's what you'd said. You sealed that promise with a kiss that led to hours in bed full of sex and naps and cuddles and what felt like hundreds of exchanges of 'I love yous'. 

The issue with his parents wasn't brought up again.

And now his grandmother was ruining it. 

"What do you expect of me, Gram?" he asked; the first of his rapid-fire questions. "To bring them there? To subject them to that? You really want me to hurt my girlfriend? My daughter? What even makes you think Mom cares to see Eve? There's no way she admitted—"

"Breathe, dear," she soothed. And Jake did as told, but it didn't make him feel the slightest bit better. "I saw it in her eyes."

He sighed, chest noticeably deflating. "Oh, come on. I love you, Gram, but seriously?"

"Jacob Seresin, you hush," she scolded, her voice raised and tinny through the speaker. "You asked me a question, so listen up."

Jake grumbled, defeated. The senior Eve had that power over him. She was the mother his mother should have been. She taught him plenty and raised him well. He knew how to respect his woman because of his Gram. He treated you the way you deserved because she made sure to instill in him the value of women where his own parents had failed to do. 

So he listened. 

"When I returned from my visit a couple of weeks ago, your mother snuck in the casual question or two whenever your father wasn't around," she explained. "And I told her. Anything she cared to know. That Eve is beautiful and her mother is a stunner." Jake's lips curved upward despite the anxiety building in his chest. "That your girls are perfect. That you are happier than I've ever seen you."

"...And?"

"And she nodded and got a little grin on her face."

Jake waited for more, but it didn't come. His hand rose and fell, smacking against the side of his thigh. "That's your only argument to encourage surrendering the happiness of my family to a couple of snakes?"

"Snakes?" He could practically see the roll of her eyes. "Really, dear?"

"I read you the email."

The email he'd received a few weeks after he got you back and learned of his daughter's existence. The one that spat aggressive levels of disappointment in him, and called you an abundance of names that nearly had him crushing his phone in his palm. The one that expressed very clearly his parents' refusal to acknowledge the woman he loved and his baby as their family.

"No," Jake said as he shook his head. "No, I'm not doing it."

"I'm not saying you have to, dear. I'm just telling you that there is someone else who might want to be a part of your daughter's life. That's more family for Eve to be surrounded by. Another person to love her."

—-

He’d promised her he’d think about it. And while he really wished he could forget her words, they were persistent, nagging, and unwilling to get out of his way; like a damn fly buzzing around his face during all hours of his days and nights. 

His grandmother was wise and she was clever to tap into one of his life’s motivations: to provide his daughter with as much love as possible. Though Eve did have love—from him, from you, his team, his grandmother—the potential for so much more was taken away from her. 

She didn’t see your family. They lived across the country and after the way your mother behaved, you’d pretty much cut her off for the time being. His sister’s husband was in the Air Force, stationed at Aviano in Italy with no set date of return. And his parents had made their opinions clear, so he felt it best to never let you or Eve around them. But doing what he believed was best didn’t stop the guilt of denying Eve her family, of not giving her enough. He thought about Christmas coming up and how she wouldn’t have her grandparents. He thought about the major events in her life to come; the birthdays and school plays, the graduations, and the, hopefully only, wedding. 

Wait, he stopped himself, scratch the wedding. No wedding. How could his daughter possibly have a wedding if she would never be dating to begin with? 

But there was still enough remaining to worry him. 

Jake didn’t want a day to come when Eve looked around the room and wondered why she didn’t have the people in her life that her friends at school did. She deserved everything he could possibly give her, and his grandmother calling to inform him he wasn’t providing that was a stab to the heart. 

“You’re lost.” 

The voice—your voice—was one of two powerful enough to crack the thick shell surrounding his thoughts. 

Your fingers wove through his hair as he focused his vision on your face, letting the fog clear to make out the perfection he saw in each feature. You wiggled on the mattress, inching your body closer to his and he lifted his arm to drape over your waist. 

“What’s going on?” you asked. “You’ve been zoning out for three days.”

He wouldn’t lie to you—never could. And even if he tried, it would be a waste of breath with the way you managed to sniff out untruths like a damn bloodhound. The information he didn’t tell you he always preferred to label as ‘omissions.’ Those could just barely slip by your clever brain. And he’d only ever done it twice; when he’d neglected to spill his hidden love, and when he hadn’t provided you with all the details of his father’s email. Both seemed like good ideas at the time. Necessary. But now…

“According to Gram,” Jake sighed, “my mother wants to meet Eve.”

You tried to control your face, but the ceasing of your nails grazing across his scalp was enough to tell him you were plenty shocked. Likely plenty terrified, too, with the trauma of the last parental interaction.

“Oh.” You blinked once, twice, three times, as your lips parted and sealed and parted again. “So, that means…what? They're fine with everything now?"

"I doubt it, but…" Jake bit the inside of his cheek. Shook his head. “Honey, I’m really not sure.”

“You trust them?”

“No.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

He didn’t know, not even after three days of thought. He cared about protecting his family, but whether or not introducing his mother to you and his daughter would be a choice he'd come to regret was hard to say. “What do you think we should do?”

“Baby, your family, your decision.”

With a groan, Jake pulled you closer and turned onto his back, settling your body on top of his. 

“But you’re so much smarter than me,” he said, wrapping his arms snuggly around your waist and tilting his chin up for a kiss.

You let him kiss you, despite the weight of the conversation surely causing you as much unease as it was him. You let him kiss you for as long as he wanted. Like you knew just how badly he needed it in that moment. How badly he needed you. 

“You’re no idiot, Jake Seresin," you said when he decided it was fair to let you breathe. "I’ll do whatever you think is best.”

He hummed, pushing some of your hair back behind your shoulder. “Why do you have to be so damn supportive and reasonable?”

You smiled so sweetly. Leaned in closer. 

“Because I trust you," you whispered, letting your lips slowly travel around his face, pressing gentle kisses where you could. "And I believe in you."

You pulled back, locking your eyes with his, and as you stroked his cheek, you said, “Because you’re my teammate, Jake.” 

He let your words soak in—filling him, sating him—before taking a deep inhale through his nose. On the heavy exhale he released a breathy “Fuck.”

You chuckled. “What?”

“It’s just extremely hot when you say shit like that and I am trying to make a decision that really isn’t helped by my dick getting hard.”

He swelled larger in his underwear as he spoke and he could see the very second that mischievous glint took root in your eye.

“Aw," you pouted, slightly grinding your hips into his, making his breath hitch, "Does my man get turned on by commitment?"

His fingers dug into your waist to hold you still, and with a scowl, he said, "You already knew that so quit teasing me."

“Who's teasing?" You asked as you gave him a peck. "You've been distracted for three days, and I miss you. So let me take your mind off it. Then we can get some sleep and talk it over in the morning."

He loved you for that. That you knew him enough to refrain from pushing him in any direction. You knew enough to know when he needed a distraction from the things that most bothered him. 

"Deal," he whispered. Then his fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your face closer to his. 

—-

It wasn't talked about in the morning. Not that one nor the weeks worth that followed. The distraction Jake had been so thankful for continued to find itself in the forms of wake-up sex, and invigorating work days, and evenings filled with dedicated family time—things he actually cared about. Thinking about what to do with his mother had been bothersome enough that at the first chance to brush it aside, it slipped from his mind without effort. And he didn’t care, just as he didn’t care how his life had completely split after his father sent that email. 

It was a clean severing, like a hot blade through butter, and the two new parts were far from equal. You and his daughter occupied one chunk of his divided world—the larger of the two—and the other chunk was where his parents remained, dwarfed under the shadow of its massive counterpart. It was too easy to let go of that extra bit that was hanging off the end of what was an otherwise perfect life, so he did. 

He didn’t follow up with his grandmother—

A mistake he discovered when his mother walked through the front door of the Hard Deck and disrupted the peace surrounding his little family.

His trio had decided to have lunch with Rooster at the bar well before opening hours, and it was the lack of overlapping voices, clinking glasses, and occasional drunken shouting which allowed for the clicking of heels across hardwood flooring to echo clearly throughout the room. 

Three voices went eerily silent, the only continuous sound being that of Eve shaking her rattle toy, lost in the sweet ignorance of childhood and completely oblivious to the thickness that had just swelled throughout the bar. 

Jake glared at his grandmother who was just off to the side of her daughter-in-law. She stared back, a look of complete innocence on her face until she grew bored with silent standoff and, with a roll of her eyes, made a beeline for you and Eve. She smiled wide, immediately popping the bubble that was holding everyone hostage, to give you a little hug around the shoulders before kissing the top of Eve’s head. 

“Oh, I missed you,” she said as huddled beside the small girl.

Jake stood from the rounded table and crossed his arms over his chest, the movement broadening his shoulders and thickening his muscles, like an animal determined to protect his mate and cub from any predator bold enough to test him. And as far as he was concerned, that was exactly what he was looking at. The woman standing still as a statue twenty feet from him was not someone he recognized anymore. He couldn’t guarantee that her next move would not be in the form of a threat, so he didn’t risk it. 

His mother raised her hand in a wave weakened by uncertainty. “Hi, sweetheart.”

Her voice was meeker than he expected, and she stood less confidently than he’d ever known in his thirty-four years. Her styled hair and perfectly painted nails and carefully applied makeup suddenly seemed unnatural on the woman before him, like an ill-fitting costume hanging off her body with an uneasy facial expression to match. 

“Gram,” Jake began, a deep grit to his tone. He didn’t tear his eyes away from his mother. “What did you do?”

Without glancing her way, Jake knew his grandmother had taken his seat at the table, holding his daughter and likely making silly faces at her as she inserted herself in what was his pleasant weekend.

“You two need to talk,” she said. There was a smile in her voice. A giggle from Eve. “You weren’t going to make the first move, and she was coming either way, so I figured it would be best if I tagged along.”

The crease in Jake’s brow deepened. That was not enough for him. “No warning?”

“Nope. You wouldn’t have agreed.”

He shook his head. His mother still hadn’t moved. 

"Is he here?" Jake finally asked her.

His mother startled at his directness, but she recovered after a moment’s passing and took a step closer that Jake immediately made up by taking a step back. She paused. "Jake—"

"Is he here?" he snapped.

The new silence in the aftermath of his sharp tone was loud, terribly loud, and long-lasting. Painfully so.

"Uh, family?" Rooster suddenly said from behind him. "Why don't we take a little walk on the beach."

Chairs scraped across the floor and Jake couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so thankful for his friend. Rooster was the only other person to know the full truth of what was said about Jake’s girlfriend and daughter, and he undoubtedly felt the storm brewing. A storm he knew Jake wouldn’t want his family to witness. 

No one argued, and as the others made their way outside, you appeared in front of him, breaking the tension of his steady stare. He looked at you, making sure to soften the hard edge in his eyes to soothe the worry in yours, but it didn’t work. His smile was tight-lipped and brief.

"Go with them, Honey," he whispered with a nod toward the door. He took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles before running his thumb over the top of them. "It's ok."

He tried that smile again, but the expression on your face made it known he was no more convincing than before.

With your free hand you cupped his cheek, then you stood up on your toes to press your lips to his—a little token of strength. When you stepped away from him, you snuck a quick look at his mother before you were on your way, following everyone else out the back door onto the beach. 

Only once you were out of his sight did Jake allow his eyes to land back on his mother.

She swallowed hard, her shaky hands clasped in front of her. "She's lovely," she said.

"She is," he replied, crossing his arms once again, stony glare back in place. "Where's Dad?"

Her nerves radiated through the room. He could practically see them—thin wiggly lines emanating from her form. 

"He's on a business trip. He doesn't even know I came. I just wanted to meet them. I'm only here for a couple of days and—"

"What happens when he finds out?” Jake interjected. “He'll lose his mind. He’ll show up here, and he won't walk away without making his point clear when it comes to my girlfriend and baby."

He could feel his voice raising as he continued to speak, but he couldn’t restrain himself. The pure rage he’d been trying to tamp down for months was yanked to the surface now that he was looking directly into the eyes of someone who had no issue insulting you, and therefore, hurting him. 

She said his name again, but the overwhelming combination of her gentle tone and the pain swirling in her irises had tears beginning to coat his own, a stinging at his nose. 

It pissed him off.

"He isn't coming anywhere near them,” Jake practically growled, that internal animal determined to protect his family slipping through the calm demeanor he’d been so close to regaining. “Do you understand me? After the things he said, the things he called her? It's not happening."

His mother nodded. "I understand."

"That little girl is mine. I'm not being tricked into raising someone else's kid!"

"I know, sweetheart,” she said as she attempted a step closer. He flinched but didn’t move away. She took another step. “Gram showed me a picture of her. She looks just like you." 

He frowned at her hint of a smile, at her hand extending his way like to earn the trust of an aggressive puppy. 

"Jake, I'm so sorry,” She near whispered. She was closer than he realized—he blamed it on his blurring vision—and her palm tentatively landed on his forearm. “This is not how I wanted things to be. You’re my son. The woman you love is outside that door and she birthed my granddaughter.” Her fingers lightly squeezed. “The last thing I want is to be alienated from the family you’ve made.”

For what felt like the hundredth time in the last week, Jake didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think right. He felt lost, and the only things capable of bringing him to safety were not within grabbing distance, separated from him by a door that might as well have been a mile away. 

Another palm met his other forearm and his arms were carefully untwined. One of his hands was sandwiched between two smaller ones. He couldn’t decide if it was comforting. 

He’d never been terribly close to her, less close to his father, but it didn’t change that she was, in fact, his mother. He’d always feel a bond, in some form. And knowing that her actions, her words, or lack thereof, were too often influenced by being under his father’s thumb stuck in the back of his mind. Rarely did she drift, knowing she’d have to face his frustration, but she had this time, for him, for his child, and it made things all the more difficult. Confusing. 

"I know what was said was…horrible. And—" Her eyelids briefly closed as she shook her head. She blew out a subtle breath before looking up at him. “I know I didn't do anything about it. I didn't call you and tell you I wasn't on his side in this. But that's what I'm doing now."

His lips parted but she continued.

“If it doesn’t work, if you don’t want me around them, then I’ll go. I’ll respect that, sweetheart, but I just wanted to try.”

The longer she stood there, the longer she had her hands around his, looking as desperate as she did, the harder it was for Jake to maintain the same depth of anger that he’d been so attached to. It seeped away with the nagging obligation to let her try to be a grandmother to his daughter. Not just for his mother, but for Eve. His baby girl, for whom he would willingly spend his entire life trying to provide everything she deserved and more. 

Jake sighed. 

“You can meet them,” he said, “But—”

She smiled. “That’s enough for now. I wouldn’t ask for more.”

Good. He wouldn’t give her more. Not now. Not until he saw for himself how she behaved around you and his baby. 

Nodding, he said, “Come on, then.”

He could feel her nerves again as they stepped out the back door of the bar, but the moment he saw your face, all of his attention went to you and what you were going to think about what he’d just agreed to. 

You only gave a brief look to his mother, a small smile with it, before your eyes were back on his. The question in them he responded to with a nod, then his mother stepped out from behind him. She hadn’t a chance to get a good look at Eve when she arrived, but now that the girl was right in front of her, snuggled in your arms, his mother couldn’t peel her eyes away. 

Her hand raised to cover her mouth and muffle the light sob that escaped as she stared in awe at the girl. She eased over to you.

"Could I—" She started but hesitated.

Jake understood her pause. His mother was asking another mother—a woman she didn’t truly know—if she could hold her baby. And what mother would hand her child over to a stranger? He respected her for recognizing that. For not assuming she had a claim on his child. 

A relationship with Eve would be a gift to her, but not one she could demand. It was a gift that must be granted. A decision; His and yours. And while he had decided he was ok with his mother being around Eve, you, too, would have to agree. 

“Would it be alright with you if I held her?” his mother finally asked. 

You looked at Jake again and he nodded again—extra reassurance that he trusted the intentions of the woman asking you to hand over your entire world. 

Smile spreading across your face, you said, “Of course,” and lifted Eve in his mother’s direction. 

"Oh…gosh,” she breathed, settling the girl on her hip. "You're so wonderful, aren't you." 

Her words were breaking as they left her lips, but she continued to murmur sweet praises as she hugged the baby girl close, and kissed the top of her blonde head, and ran her fingers over the much smaller ones. His mother looked at and held her son’s daughter as if she were unreal, delicate, breakable. And that’s exactly what she was. Eve was a miracle—one that brought her parents together again when it seemed so horribly unlikely, and she needed to be treated as such.

Jake’s heart squeezed so beautifully at the sight, and the tears he thought had come and gone threatened to reemerge. He felt full. Oddly complete in a way he didn’t anticipate. 

It was uncomfortable to realize how much he wanted that acceptance, for himself, for you, for his child, but he couldn’t deny the relief of seeing his mother care. Not judging but loving the way he chose to live his life despite it being so different than what was expected of him. 

A brush against his hand pulled him away from the scene. You tugged on his fingers and grinned when his eyes met yours. You pulled more, but Jake was already moving to sit beside you on the bench. 

“You ok?” you asked as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You leaned into him. 

“I’m giving it a chance,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ll see.”

----

A/N: this will have a 2nd part.

Turn on notifications for this blog or @seresinhangmanjake-library if you would like to keep up with my writing.

[lotus-tower]

it’s not that there aren’t very real challenges and difficulties that come with covid mitigation

but at the core of it even the measures that require no imagination would be highly effective in driving down transmission, which would in return make other activities that are more difficult to mitigate infection risk for less risky

like we’re sitting here pretending we don’t understand the concept of ventilation or filtration, or that the idea of staying home when sick is weird and alien, or that it’s inconceivable that putting something on your face that filters air will reduce sickness. and we’re pretending that it’s normal for people to get sick at the hospital because hospitals are overflowing and have so many outbreaks happen in them. we’re acting like doing things outdoors or opening the windows is a concept that has never been seen before.

there are many ways we could transform society into one that respects disabled people and that values health and well-being over profit, but that’s honestly not even on the table at the moment. what we’re talking about is rejecting the use of ordinary tools and technologies that have literally been used for decades. I’ve heard about teachers and healthcare workers who purposefully go out of their way to turn off air filters that have been bought for them. repeatedly, every day. I’ve watched a video where a farmer wore an N95 to clean the chicken coop due to particles, but took it off to go to the store.

what’s happening right now isn’t just “people did the calculation and decided money is more important than people’s lives” in a pure rational way. because that’s not how capitalism works anyway. we all know by now that happy workers are more productive, some companies saw good results when going remote for the first time under lockdown, etc. but the goal is to control workers as a class, and to preserve the status quo.

obviously, long covid will cost more to the economy than updating ventilation will. obviously, children who are sick all the time won’t perform as well at school. obviously, reducing infection would reduce the burden on collapsing hospitals. prevention is always cheaper than attempted treatment. but these facts don’t mean anything. people are ideologically committed to covid denialism to such a degree that it’s pushed them to do utterly absurd things. they’re overcorrecting like crazy in order to try to get to the 2019 “normal” state.

people are trying to gaslight us into believing that we were always sick all the time, that measles is a normal winter illness like the flu, that PPE measures were like this before the pandemic. scientific research and facts aren’t going to convince these people.

and it’s just ridiculous because the situation at hand is literally one where improving air quality, a multipurpose measure with no downsides whatsoever, is a no-go specifically because it could reduce covid, whether that’s the stated goal or not, and they balk at the idea of accidentally reducing covid transmission.

meanwhile, private bioscience firms are trying to invent ridiculously complex long covid treatments with hundreds of millions of funds from rich sponsors. and that’s okay, because that’s a Thing. rich genius saviors are always okay. but opening the windows for free? for prevention? to prevent getting the untreatable illness to begin with? that’s weird and unfathomable

[bloodycyrano]

I am extremely mentally fucked right now, so let's see how team tadpole handles their depressive episodes! TW, this will probably be super depressing to read.

Astarion: He thinks he hides it really well, and for the most part, he does. But his motivation for easy, everyday tasks and self care goes absolutely down the drain. You've seen the inside of his tent, you know how it goes. He tries to keep up the image of doing well, keep the smile, keep the jokes coming. He's terrified of people finding out what's underneath, and in hiding it, he feels like he has the upper hand. He doesn't, and he needs therapy. I'd also put money on him hypersexualizing himself for the validation and to feel like he was worth something. After all, Cazador beat it into him that that was all he was good for. Luring in pray with his body. - We also know that Astarion has nightmares, but I'd like to add to this with the reminder that Elves don't sleep. They trance. In the trance, they go over the memories of their past. It's how they keep up with such long lives and how they stay close to past lives as children (For those who dont know, elves don't measure age in maturity, but rather by distance to their past lives- Once an elf can no longer recall memories from their past life, they are considered an adult. They pick their adult name in celebration of the new person and consciousness that they now are). The fact that Astarion can remember nothing of his life prior to being turned by Cazador, nothing of his family, etc., Means that he is so deeply affected by Cazador that those memories are the only things he can see when he goes to rest at night. Every night, in perfect detail, he has to remember all of his worst trauma.

Karlach: Karlach is the sunshine character. She's sweet, and loud and bright with the biggest smile, but you also have to remember that she was a soldier. She was sold off to a literal demon and used as a science experiment essentially for the hell of it. She's not going to open up about what she's feeling immediately, and she's not going to seek help, either. She thinks she has to deal with it quietly and on her own, because since her parents died; that's what she's always had to do. Chin up, no tears, keep fighting. It's going to stress her out to the point where she starts smoking again, but she'll try to hide it or brush it off. Most importantly, she's going to be more focussed on not burdening those around her and trying to take care of you guys and protect you at the expense of her own mental health and physical safety. But her sorrows are noticeable. She can try to hide it, but everyone in camp knows. Everyone in camp is worried. Everyone can see when her eyes stop glimmering, when she stops dancing around in her tent when she can't sleep, when her bright laughter stops, and when she gets quiet. So quiet. She zones out, like she's in another realm entirely. She probably also has post traumatic stress from her time as a soldier, and it's going to weigh on her heavily in battle. Maybe she'll freeze up, have flashbacks, even potentially have small hallucinations now and again. It's going to take a lot of care and reassurance to get her to talk to you about it, but when she finally does, she'll probably have a complete meltdown with all the feelings she's been keeping inside.

Wyll: Wyll self isolates. He gets much quieter, and he probably isn't going to be too open to talking about it unless he's really close to you. He gets a little cold when talking to people, but he's good at resolving things in his head and the most likely to rationalize his feelings to make himself feel better. He also probably writes poetry, or even paints his feelings as a form of expressing his sorrows because he understands he needs some outlet so he isn't bottling everything up. He has the heart of an artist, and this is a hill I am prepared to die on.

Gale: He has a hard time talking when he's sad, and probably has difficulty making eye contact as well. He'd probably be more inclined to seek out comfort and vent than the rest of team tadpole, but that doesn't take away from the complexity of his emotions. He's angry, and sad, and feels so so shitty just about being who he is in general. He's fallen so far from where he once was, and for what? He'll do is best to rationalize, but his anxiety is going to push into paranoia, and rationalizing is going to turn into self loathing. He's going to try his best to be more useful, and show off, and earn the validation he craves because without that, what is he? He was a prodigy child. He used to be so, so great. Even the goddess of magic herself thought so. Now he's rotting away in a camp full of strangers and trying to re-learn level one spells. It's taking a toll on him, and it's noticeable to anyone willing to look.

Shadowheart: She's trying to pray. The goddess she has been devoted to all her life is the lady of loss. There is a great amount of sorrow in the way she worships, and in her suffering, she finds faith. She tells herself it's her next step to becoming a dark justiciar. Delving further into her faith and trusting in the dark depths of her soul, and her pain. All it ever truly does is make her hurt, though.

Lae'zel: Lae’zel is truly a specimen built on stoicism. If you ask her what's wrong, she will tell you but it will also be in such a way that you wonder if she's really processing all of her pain. The thing is, she's thinking about it. She has the emotional intelligence to understand the way she's feeling and how to fix it, but for some reason unknown to her, she can't. And that's what's going to stress her out and hurt her the most. She knows what theoretically should fix the pain, but it's not working the way that it should. She's going to wonder if it's something wrong with her, or the way she's going about it. She might get angry with other people more often, and try to project blame onto someone so that maybe she can find a way to resolve the way that it hurts. But she can't. She'll keep throwing temporary solutions and misplaced anger into the void until she finds something to distract from it. And maybe, after a lot of contemplation and positive outside help from the rest of team tadpole, she may find peace.

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Pretty Girl | 5. hold my hand

1. pretty girl | 2. lover, you should’ve come over | 3. been on my mind | 4. last goodbye | 5. hold my hand

Warnings: again, mention of ed and ed discussion. if you want to skip those parts, go to the instagram story part :)

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Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, delilah.seresin, hangman.jake, and 1,089,282 more

y/n.username so guys,

you may or may not have noticed the inactivity, the rumors, the distance, or the chaos that’s recently been surrounding me and my life. if you haven’t, good on you.

i have no intention on denying anything said about me. it’s not my responsibility to acknowledge the lies that people spread about me, and it’s certainly not my job to change my lifestyle because someone i no longer associate with decided that my time is past.

that being said, i also have no intention on denying comments made about my past with an eating disorder. without getting into specifics, i want people to know that i’m not ashamed or scared to discuss my body and the choices i’ve made about it. yes, i’ve had moments of struggle about how i look. yes, i’ve learned how to love myself and see value in the people who love me. i’m not alone in my struggle, and neither is anyone else.

Comments have been disabled

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10 minutes.

That’s all the time it took with Jake on the phone to convince him to come and see you that day.

That’s all it took for him to pay double for shitty plane tickets, fight through fans and press, and show up at your door hours later with roses and open arms. You’d talked with him for 10 minutes and everything clicked together like it always used to.

Jake told you about his sister and her own struggles with her body; how, when he was 11, Delilah was 19 and raising him and his little sister Lillibet. How that didn’t leave much room for positive reinforcement in Delilah’s mind about how she looked. How she hid it from everyone else and didn’t get any help until it was almost too late.

You know now, looking back on that day, that Jake had been absolutely terrified of almost loosing someone else to mental health. You couldn’t have known, just like he couldn’t have known about you, and together that created a messy jigsaw of unexplained, very real emotions that didn’t fit together at the time.

Jake’s anger, understandable yet unwarranted, and your stubbornness made quite the wedge in between you. A wedge, however, that was nothing compared to the immediate reconciliation that took place on the phone call. He finally, finally told you why it meant so much to him, and you told him where he misstepped.

That had been enough to convince him to come see you in New York on a whim.

And he hasn’t left since. It’s been five weeks of reconnecting, getting to know each other more, and finding new ways to love him. It may sound trite, but he really does surprise you every single day. Whether it’s coffee from your favorite cafe on the way back from his run or a carefully planned date, he never disappoints.

You can’t say that it’s easy. There are going to be difficulties no matter who you’re with, but Jake makes them worth it.

He’s worth the pain and the drama and the rumors and the talking. He’s worth it all.

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Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

 ——————————————————————————

Messages

get bagman in the bag, man

tash: barf

callie: gross

you: because i’m so adorable?

callie: you are

callie: hangman isn’t

you: disagree

you: respectfully <3

tash: i know babe

tash: what are you doing today?

you: shopping to celebrate

callie: celebrate what?

you: i got a job

you: in paris

tash: NO FUCKONG WAY

tash: THATS INCREDIBLE

callie: BABEEE

callie: IM SO PROUD OF TOU

you: THANK YOUUU

you: ILY

callie: can we come visit you

tash: i’m coming with you

you: yes please

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Instagram

y/n.username added to their story

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Messagss

you: oh shit

jakey: what

you: everyone’s going to think i’m shopping for a wedding dress

jakey: are you?

you: you haven’t asked me anything

jakey: hmm

jakey: i’ll have to fix that soon

you: …

jakey: ♥️

you: so should i be wedding dress shopping

jakey: only if you want to, darlin’

you: i’m going to scream into a pillow

jakey: wait till i really ask you

jakey: you’re not going to know what to do with yourself

you: that’s what tasha is for

jakey: i was hoping you would say you would scream into my pillow

you: baby.

you: now i have to cut that out of the screenshot i’m sending to tash and callie

jakey: paybacks a bitch

you: no he isn’t.

jakey: you know what i mean

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Instagram

liked by tasha.trace, roo_bradshaw, halo_cal_bass, and 2,382,299 more

y/n.username we say hi from paris 🥖

view 347,292 comments

tasha.trace I MISS YOUUU

-> y/n.username COME VISITTT

halo_cal_bass save some paris fun for me

y/nsrealgf she’s living her best life rn

penny.benny Awww! Have the best time ever!

jakeyywife okay but her and jake are so cute i can’t believe they’re back together

delilah.seresin my favs <33

r_paybackfinch why didn’t i get invited :(

-> y/n.username you’re always invited :((

roo_bradshaw unfair i wanna go to paris instead of hangman

-> tasha.trace then maybe ask your girlfriend to go

-> tasha.trace i’m sure she wouldn’t oppose

maverick.mitchell Amazing! Tell Jake to take you out to dinner!

-> y/n.username i will!

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Messages

you: mav says to take me out to dinner

jakey: lucky for you i already had that planned

jakey: there’s a dress for you on the bed

jakey: i’m downstairs whenever your ready

you: AWWWW

jakey: no rush

you: crying

jakey: don’t cry, darlin’

you: too late

jakey: …

jakey: i love you

you: i love you too

you: i don’t know why you thought that would make me stop crying though

jakey: ♥️

you: <3

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A/n: guys!! it’s finished. this series has meant so much to me and i thank you so much for all of your support. let me know what you think about this last part, and send me any thoughts, requests, anything you want <33 nova out ⭐️

taglist: @rosiahills22 @fangirlvibez @djs8891 1 @shanimallina87 @abaker74 @lauraseresin

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

Don’t know if this has been asked or mentioned yet for the Pack but what are their sexualities?

(Love you writing btw ❤️)

"This can be a sensitive subject for a lot of people for quite a few different reasons." You caution immediately, and everyone in the pack nods in agreement. You give a slight smile. "Most of us are very comfortable and settled into our chosen sexualities, so we're comfortable talking about and discussing it, but just know, even if you're not sure where you fall on the scale or are currently dealing with some internalized issues, you are always welcome and safe here with us.

"Yep." Chan nods seriously. "Out of the closet, in the closet, wherever you are currently, we love and support you and your choices and we understand the difficulties and stigmas with deciding and coming to to terms with who you are and how to present that."

"That being said-" You smile a bit bigger now. "I think it's pretty safe to say that we're all part of the queer community here."

"What part of this-" Hyunjin gestures to the other eight members of the pack with amusement. "-looks straight to you?"

You laugh. "So, the whole polyamory thing, that more comes from the wolf side of our genders and personalities. Wolves are not loners, they need a pack, but also, as humans and people, we needed to be okay with that too obviously for this to work."

"Yep." Jisung is nodding now. "Because your wolf side can be all gungho about the idea of a pack, but if you as a person don't believe you can love more than one person at the same time, then you're definitely going to struggle. And that's okay."

"As far as personal sexuality-" You muse, glancing around at the pack. I think we all kind of fall into the same spectrum, but with individual differences and different labels."

"I've known I was bisexual for as long as I can remember." You go on, looking thoughtful. "My parents didn't like the idea at first, but when I had my first girlfriend in high school, they came around. It's always just felt natural for me to find the beauty in both males and females."

"I'm also bi." Changbin adds, nodding his head. "Though unlike (Y/N), I think I fought more with alpha stereotypes for a long time-from myself mostly, but also other people-and that stopped me from really exploring and realizing that truth about myself until I graduated high school and moved away for college."

"And now he's just a fucking flaming queer." Hyunjin teases, grinning at the alpha, as he leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek, Changbin rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, something like that."

"I was kind of a late bloomer as well." Chan cocks his head, considering for a moment. "I didn't realize being bisexual was even an option honestly until I got to high school and met some pretty open minded classmates. I also made the realization coincidentally around the time I first met Felix."

He grins over at the omega and Felix grins back.

"Weird how that happens, huh hyung?"

"Yeah, weird." Chan agrees, grinning even bigger now.

Felix laughs at the head alpha's antics. "I'm bisexual as well. Definitely known since I was a kid, my parents were always super supportive, I was lucky that way. Helping Chan-hyung find out his sexuality in high school was also kind of fun, if you know what I mean."

Jisung guffaws and Chan blushes.

"I'm pansexual, and I think I've cognitively known for a long time." Hyunjin volunteers. "I've always never really cared much about genders-primary or secondary-and always just been attracted to people because of who they are, not what they are."

"Same." Jisung agrees, nodding enthusiastically. "Gender has never mattered to me when it came to partners. In the past or present. I remember when I was first figuring it out, I got a little freaked out, because one day in middle school, I had the thought 'wow, that's kind of hot' in reference to one of my fellow guy friends working out, and I thought I was having some sort of mental health break at thirteen. Turns out I'm just attracted to everyone-no matter the gender-who fits my checklist in personality."

He grins, and Hyunjin laughs in shared sympathy.

"I think I'm also pansexual, honestly." Jeongin interjects thoughtfully, and Jisung gives him an affectionate look across the room. "I used to think` maybe I identified as bisexual like noona and the hyungs, but the more I've grown and learned about myself, the more I can see that I'm attracted to traits and not body parts."

"And that's definitely okay." Chan nods at the youngest encouragingly. "Gender and sexuality is a fluid scale as far as I'm concerned, and you can change or adjust or tweak at any time as you find out more about yourself."

"I'm demisexual." Seungmin announces, shifting slightly to cross his arms over his chest. "You have to win my affection and loyalty by proving to me that we have an emotional connection."

"You also have to compete in a joust." Jisung teases, and the other beta smacks him lightly.

"Physical means nothing to me without the foundation there first." Seungmin continues, ignoring Jisung's jibes. "That's why I told noona 'no, but I could' when she first asked me if I liked her like I liked Changbin. The connection was being built between us, maybe more than study buddies at the time, but it wasn't quite there yet, not enough for me to feel romantic toward her."

"And I appreciated the honest. Even if I cried in the shower about it later." You tease back with a slight smile in the beta's direction.

"I am also demi." Minho shrugs a shoulder casually. "You could be the hottest person on the goddamn planet, but if I don't know you and I don't have anything built with you, I couldn't care less. Big dicks don't impress me if there's not big feelings behind them."

"Get that on a t-shirt." Hyunjin points at Minho, and Jeongin hurriedly whips out his phone and opens his notes app.

"On it, hyung. Writing this down for later reference."