#and being like Everyone Else Was A Functional Person After Her Death okay person who had a negative relationship with the deceased

[lesbianedmundo]

I’ve seen a lot of posts saying that The Last Alarm wasn’t a proper send off episode for Bobby… i’m not sure I agree. Obviously everyone has a different idea of a proper send off… but this was like. Pretty good? Idk maybe it’s just because I was full on sobbing, but they really touched on the grief of the 118. I’m upset about Gerrard’s presence, and his bullshit speech, but at least the show sorta recognised the bullshit? I can forgive it if they go the right route with Hen being Captain next and we never see Gerrard again lol. Tommy as well… shouldn’t have been a pallbearer. Like. What - why would he be?! Everyone else carrying the coffin was a member of the 118, except for Eddie, but he was part of the 118 incredibly recently and had a genuine friendship and mentorship with Bobby, his narrative parallel. Tommy, however, that’s just weird.

I can understand being upset at Buck, Hen, Eddie and Ravi being mildly sidelined in terms of their grief, but understand it’s a single 40 minute TV episode. They had to choose someone to focus on, and Athena and Chimney are the logical choices. Athena was Bobby’s wife. This is such a different grief than it is for the others, and I’m glad it was explored so intently. Also, Angela Bassett my motherfucking Queen. The scene where she breaks down with Hen in the new house? I was BAWLING.

Even the kidnapped child plot line - y’all do realise that it was also an exploration of Athena’s grief? She throws herself into helping this person she’s convinced herself Bobby would save because despite being so angry that he’s gone, she primarily loves him. And she can’t help but draw parallels between Bobby quietly choosing to leave, and Leah’s brother and husband quietly choosing to hide there wasn’t a body to bury. Even before that, Leah functions as Athena’s mirror. Athena sees how Leah’s grief has led her worldview to become distorted, and it helps her realise that in her own grief, she’s distorted her view by shutting out her family and trying to be strong. AND the parallels between Leah losing Micah, and Bobby losing Robert and Brooke, sets up the pay off of Bobby being buried with his children. If they had to include a more typical procedural drama storyline, I’m glad it was this one that ties in so well to Athena’s grief.

For Chimney, yeah, actually, he’d be struggling more visibly than the others. It’s his life that got traded for Bobby’s death. He feels so fucking guilty. He feels like he killed his Captain. He feels like he killed one of his closest friends, a man who eight years said he planned to kill himself, got better, than killed himself so Chim could live. Chimney is not fucking okay. The survivors guilt of Kevin’s death has returned in full fucking force. I’m glad the show shone a spotlight on Chimney’s grief and boy did Kenny Choi deliver.

As long as in following episodes, we touch more on Hen, Buck, Eddie and Ravi’s grief, I’m grudgingly content with this send off (and they did show us some of their grief, e.g Buck following through Bobby’s ‘they’re gonna need you’, Eddie’s ‘I should have been here’ and crying at the funeral, Hen crying to Karen and her apprehensive face when the camera cuts to her after Gerrard mentions the next Captain, Ravi saying he’s never done one of these funerals and turning to Eddie for advice, etc)

[bumblebeesweettea]

Can we please please please get some yelena and team angst???? I loved thunderbolts so so much but considering everyone was hurting it kinda felt like only Bob got shown love at the end? So like the team talking to her about the whole "walking into the void" thing or just a later date her being a little low and needing some comfort? Maybe like, how each team member reacts to that? Thank you so so so much I look forward to getting to read your thunderbolts content <3 <3

Also side note I saw you dont write romantic pairings for canonically aroace charecters and Idk if you know but yelena is aroace? According to her creator \o/ just in case you didnt know.

Yes. YYYEEEEESSSSSSS.

*Eagle Screeches*

And yes I know Yelena is AroAce. I do tend to not write these kinds of character in romantic ships because, while a lot of AroAce people enter relationships, each person had their own unique reason for doing so. I might do a romantic ship for an AroAce Character in the future if I find a valid reason for it.

___

A check in and a promise

Fandom: MCU Thunderbolts

Rating;

Characters: Yelena Belova, Alexei Shostakov

Ships: None

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Cozy

Warnings/triggers: Brief Mentions of suicidal thoughts and tendencies

Synopsis;

The new Avengers team begins to establish themselves within the old tower shortly after saving the city. There was a palpable need for them to stay close together, a sentiment expressed by Yelena, who understood that the team members were grappling with their troubled pasts. The recent traumatic events in the void has left them vulnerable, and the desire to ensure each other's safety is apparent in the small gestures.

In the midst of these adjustments, Yelena found solace in a seemingly simple moment with her father, Alexei, as they share a meal and confronted the weight of the past. Their conversation was laced with grief, regret, and the healing power of family, with hope for the future. 

___

The old Avengers tower was still under renovations when the new Avengers had moved in. 'From now on we stay together' it hadn't just been aimed at Bob when Yelena said that. They all needed to remain close. To keep each other safe. And some of them had no where else to go, their pasts trailing after them like shadows. The past week had been an uneasy mix of camaraderie and silence, an atmosphere thick with unspoken words. The press had flocked to the tower, cameras flashing and reporters clamoring for attention, while heartfelt letters of gratitude poured in from across the city. Yet, amidst the chaos, they were all still learning how to function as a cohesive unit. It was genuinely overwhelming.

Each member of the team cast furtive glances at one another, eyes laden with concern, a silent inquiry into whether everyone was truly okay. The events that had transpired in the void had been harrowing, stripping them bare and exposing their deepest regrets and pains. Yelena had borne the brunt of those stares; after all, she had walked into the Void, her fate uncertain, risking death for a man she barely knew. Something had to change; the tension in the air was palpable, a pressure cooker ready to burst.

Yelena's room smelled of fresh paint and sawdust. She sat cross legged on the floor, reading the instruction for her new Guinea pig enclosure. Her new friend was munching happily on some veggie she had gotten him from the kitchen. She still had to come up with a name for him...

"Might I come in little one?" Alexei's voice sounded from outside Yelena's door.

"Yes, dad the door is open." She called back finishing up the final touches on the Guinea Pig cage. The door swung open and in walked Alexei, plate in hand. As he enters the room his smile fades seeing the photo of Natasha Yelena had taped to the wall. Her only decoration so far, not counting the cage and weapons neatly laid out on the makeshift desk.

"You missed the lunch call," Alexei said putting the plate down and letting out a booming laugh when he realizes how his daughter was eyeing the plate suspiciously. "Do not worry. It wasn't me who made this. It was Walker."

"Walker cooks?" Yelena sounds incredulous as her father sits down beside her on the floor, his large shoulders roll in a shrug.

"I am surprised as you. But it is good, has flavor even," Alexei nudges the plate closer to Yelena's knee. "Eat, eat. Or I will eat it for you."

"Along with the plate no doubt," Yelena laughs as she picks up the fork. She tries the food, and to her shock it is actually very good. Not that she'd ever tell John that. She slowly chews, and Alexei is courteous enough to give her some time to enjoy eating. But the way he's regarding her makes Yelena's skin itch. Alexei folds his arms and takes a deep breath:

"Why did you do it Yelena? Walk into the void? You didn't know if you were coming back."

She stiffened, fork poised halfway to her mouth. The silence now was brittle. “Someone had to,” she muttered, voice low, "someone had to take the risk to get through to Bob."

“Not good enough,” Alexei said he takes a slow shaking breath. "Was.. was it me?" The fraying in his voice was something Yelena had never heard before. She looks at him eyes wide as she puts her fork down and pushes the plate as aide. Alexei wasn't obviously thinking of what she had told him before walking into the void. About being so alone, about how she had no one, that he didn't care enough about her to call.

"No.. Daddy no it wasn't you," Her eyes flicked up to the photo of Natasha on the wall before returning to her father. "It was so much that happened. Things just piled up, I can't say it didn't hurt when you didn't call but.. you weren't the reason I felt so.. lost."

"But I was a part of the reason wasn't I?" Alexei follows Yelena's gaze to the photo, but unlike Yelena he didn't look away from his eldest daughter's photo, "I did not mean to leave you alone. I.. truly thought you didn't want me. After all that had happened.. after I.. gave you girls away." Yelena leans into Alexei, there's a pain in her chest that grew more intense with every word spoken between them. "I am so sorry Yelena. I was always trying to do what I thought you wanted. But I was wrong I should have called."

"You have your own demons, dad," Yelena says quietly. She wasn't the only one in mourning. The only one in pain, drowning in regrets and having hit rock bottom. "You shouldn't have to fight mine to."

"Yelena. That is what family does," Alexei said firmly. He takes one of her hands in his, squeezing it, "I am here now. I promise I am here. And I will make sure that you know you are not alone. And them," he nods at the door indicating the other going about their business, making the tower a home, "They are rough around edges, with history of bad choices, being tricked by other, and all have a sack of regrets but.. I feel they will also be there for you. Especially Sentry. He is like lost sad puppy."

Yelena smiles, feeling the tears prick the back of her eyes. But the tears aren't purely from sadness. Some of it is relief, some of it gratitude. Alexei kisses the top of Yelena's head

"Please finish eating. You also missed breakfast, Ava noticed." Alexei pats Yelena's arm and stands up. "We are all here for you my girl. You are not the only one who can be depended on."

"Thanks Dad, and thank you for plating food for me."

"It wasn't me. Again that," Alexei points at the plate, "All John Walker. He does not say he is worried or that he cares, but he does. Action is more his language. We have that in common." Yelena makes a face but can't help the smile. After making her dad promise he wouldn't try and get Bob to fly or use telekinesis again, Alexei left and Yelena could enjoy her lunch in peace.

"Is this how it felt? When you were with the Avengers?" Yelena questions the photo. Which of course makes no reply. "I hope so.. this.. this is nice. I get why you wanted to stay with them. Hopefully we can live up to your legacy. Or at least a close second."

[randomthefox]

Tangle is a terrible girlfriend. I don't understand how anyone can look at her relationship with Whisper and think it's cute.

Tangle has yet to fight or threaten anyone who's harmed Whisper by the way. I'm pretty sure Tangle basically tells Whisper to just take it until the perpetrator is finished. Lmao at all the fan art of Tangle getting angry at Surge.

And why is everyone fine with Lanolin attacking Whisper? If it's bad when Surge does it then it's also bad when Lanolin does it.

I don't understand idw stans.

Whisper is a pretty terrible girlfriend too honestly. They aren't a good couple at all. Whisper is too traumatized to be in a healthy functional relationship with another person. Because of her experiences she's extremely emotionally distant from everybody. Her initial reaction to meeting Sonic and Silver was to run away. She probably goes extremely long periods of time without even speaking at all. She's damaged goods.

Take this moment for example.

Now they're about to blow up and die, so I don't blame Whisper for prioritizing their safety from the bombs over anything else right now. But Tangle is extremely claustrophobic (a trait that was invented for this storyline and is never mentioned again but we're not talking about how dogshit this comic is right now). She was JUST trapped inside of that vault and was suffocating through a panic attack because of it.

So after the threat of death has passed and they're safe, this is what happens.

Whisper doesn't display ANY concern or sympathy for Tangle whatsoever. She doesn't reach out to comfort her. She doesn't offer her any support whatsoever. She doesn't even acknowledge what Tangle went through. Instead she just sends her away, something that Tangle reacts to like she's just been punched in the stomach. Not a very reassuring feeling to be hit with after going through a phobia experience.

Now you might respond to that by saying "that's not fair! Whisper is only sending Tangle away because she's concerned about her! She doesn't want to lose another friend! Whisper is speaking out from her own trauma and just isn't expressing herself in a healthy and articulate way because of the pain she's carrying!" And you'd be right. That's sort of my whole point.

TANGLE is the one who needs emotional support after what she just went through. TANGLE is the one who is mostly a civilian and almost died, TANGLE is the one who is claustrophobic and was locked away in a vault and who suffered through a deeply traumatic experience because of it. TANGLE is the one who needs to be comforted right now.

But because of how broken Whisper is, Tangle ends up needing to be the one who comforts HER.

I am so NOT okay with this.

Part of being in a relationship is give and take. Compromise. Averaging your misery. You need to be able to carry someone when they aren't able to walk on their own, and allow them to carry you. Whisper is unable to do that. Whisper always makes everything about HER and HER PAIN. She never communicates her feelings to others. She never allows Tangle to have any input whatsoever. She still operates as a lone wolf, making her own decisions for herself that she thinks is for the best without considering anybody elses feelings.

I'm not saying that Whisper is a "bad person" for this or anything like this. This is all completely understandable given her past life experiences. I'm not criticizing her actions or saying that she's being written badly for any of this. This is all compelling drama for her character.

It just makes her extremely bad girlfriend material. Tangle is not going to get ANYTHING out of her in a relationship. Any and all of Tangle's own burdens and needs are going to be completely and totally neglected and everything is going to need to revolve entirely around Whisper. That is not a healthy relationship. Whisper needs to work on herself before she can get anywhere close to being an equal and worthy partner for literally anybody. Let alone Tangle, who is her own walking disaster.

WhispAngle is a TOXIC SHIP as presented within the text of the comic. No ifs ands or buts about it.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Heyyyy I just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog! I actually never realised how much there is to know about Rohan until I stumbled across your blog and it's super interesting! (I'll most likely always be an elf-girl, but you never know and it never hurts to know more about other parts of Tolkien's stories)

So I wanted to ask you something: since I'm still very new to this part of the fandom but I'm very interested in it, I was wondering if you could give me a general overview of the most important people from Rohan and their function/jobs, maybe also your headcanons about them, because I'm honestly still a bit lost and overwhelmed by all the new names that I've never really noticed before. (Fun fact btw,😅 Éowyn was actually always one of my absolute favourite characters, so its funny to me how I never dived into the Rohan side of the fandom before)

And if you don't want to do that, that's okay too, just let me compliment your blog, because it's wonderful!

Aw, thanks!!! ♥️ Like you, I also enjoy learning more about characters from outside of my primary interest area, so I hope you find this helpful! I love your ask, but it could be a VERY long response and I fear that you’ll still find it to be kind of an overwhelming list of names. So I’m gonna limit it by focusing on the canonical characters that are in that sweet spot between “most people know who this is already” (e.g., Éowyn, Éomer, Théoden and Gríma) and “this is a person who is more or less just a name” (e.g., Herubrand or Horn). So I’ll give you a little canonical Who’s Who of the rest of them, with links for the ones where I’ve got HCs if there are any you’re particularly interested in.

Also, you inspired me to finally write out my HC for Grimbold, the Rohirrim who was allergic to horses, which I’ll post separately in a day or two, so thank you for that! 🐎

So, ready? *cracks knuckles* Here we go with the Who’s Who below the cut:

Royal Family:

Théoden’s father was Thengel, who had mixed feelings about Rohan and lived a long time in Gondor, where he met his wife Morwen.

Théoden had 4 sisters, but we only know about the youngest, Théodwyn, who was Éomer/Éowyn’s mom and died of sickness soon after her husband Éomund was killed in a poorly planned orc hunt.

Théoden’s wife was Elfhild, who died giving birth to their son, Théodred. He never remarried.

Théodred was killed by Saruman’s forces and had no wife or child, so his beloved cousin Éomer became heir in his stead.

Non-Royal Notables of Edoras, the Capital City:

Háma was the captain of the king’s guard and died at Helm’s Deep after aiding in the healing of Théoden by breaking some rules on Gandalf’s behalf. (I would die for Háma.)

Elfhelm was acting as the Marshal (the top military office) of Edoras at the time of LOTR and was involved in ALL KINDS of stuff but is most notable for not ratting out Éowyn when he found that she was riding in his éored (unit) to the war in Gondor.

There’s a whole gaggle of members of the king’s éored, most of whom die in Gondor with no backstory or detail. No one else would likely put them on this list, but they’re dear to me (and frequently discussed on my blog) so we’re including Guthláf, Théoden’s banner bearer, and Wídfara, who rode with the king’s company and scouted conditions at Minas Tirith.

Notables of the West-mark:

Erkenbrand was in charge of Helm’s Deep at the time of the war and helped save the day there before being left to rule Rohan while everyone else went to war in Gondor.

Gamling served under Erkenbrand and was an elderly man who was still a dope warrior and fought alongside his own grandson at Helm's Deep!

Grimbold was a military captain who, with Elfhelm, saw Théodred’s death and fought to keep orcs from taking his body before going to war in Gondor. Unlike Elfhelm, Grimbold died.

Dúnhere was Erkenbrand's nephew and served under Grimbold. He organized the muster of the Rohirrim to go to Gondor, where he also died.

Notables of the East-mark:

Éothain is really the only one here. He was a soldier under Éomer, and he was very suspicious of both outsiders and rule breakers.

Bonus Notable Ancestors of pre-LOTR Times:

Eorl was the founder and first king of Rohan who sealed the oath of friendship between his people and Gondor and tamed the first of the mearas (the ancestors of Shadowfax!).

Helm Hammerhand was king during the war/famine of the Long Winter. He’s famous for killing a dude with 1 punch and scaring the bejeezus out of enemies by stalking them in the night.

Freca was a lord of mixed Rohan/Dunland ancestry whom Helm punched to death b/c Helm was a hothead who felt threatened by Freca’s influence. Freca’s family later led an army against Rohan b/c they were pissed!

Whew! That’s not everyone, but I think it’s everyone whose name you’d be likely to come across outside of the big 4 (Théoden, Éomer, Éowyn and Gríma). It’s really striking when you write it all out and realize that you have to end so many with “but he/she died”! But the fact that they’re a little tragic and made so many sacrifices is a big part of why I love them.

I hope this was in ANY way helpful, even if it’s just a little cheat sheet that you consult when needed!

[deuterosapiens]

Finally watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and had a bit of a fun time with it, though I'll call the pacing in the first act unnecessarily slow. I'll ignore this, however, for all of the obvious things this movie does oh so delightfully well. A few personal favorites:

Charles Deetz's death: beautifully animated, ridiculously over the top and most importantly, his half-eaten corpse wandering the Afterlife is a fun gag.

Monica Bellucci. I'm gay, but that's still Monica fucking Bellucci. She's stunning and no amount of staples can change that.

Willem Dafoe is clearly in a completely different movie than everyone else. Did he show up on set thinking he was filming a Boondock Saints sequel? He's such a wonderful presence!

Sandworms!!

Way to go, Practical Effects! See, things are so much more impressive when there's actually something there!

So we suffer a bit from an over-dose on villains. Since each has their own separate motivations, none are really fleshed out well enough to be dispatched properly. Jeremy wants to trade Astrid's life for his own. How does Rory or Delores affect that, or how does that affect them? There's no connection, which means resolving this plot will by necessity require it to be inconsequential to the finale. Rory is a lying scumbag obsessed with Lydia's money (why was this a Reveal again? Not a single person was surprised by this development). How does this tie into Delores's revenge against Betelgeuse? Delores is hell-bent on having her man back and will stop at nothing in pursuit if that. How does this tie into Rory's plans?

Since none of these separate developments are really in any way connected, each has to be resolved separately, meaning none can be given the proper amount of time needed to be resolved in the appropriate manner. I guess the connecting thread is intended to be the Juice himself: Betelgeuse is brought in to save Astrid from Jeremy's plot, which is unceremoniously foiled. He interrupts Rory and Lydia's wedding to attend his own, after using said wedding as the price of admission for saving Astrid. And Delores is a scorned bride who just sort of shows up at the wedding in pursuit of the Man Himself.

Jeremy being foiled is given no real weight, acting as a stepping stone to get Lydia back to the Living World for her wedding, making this entire sequence feel, sort of inconsequential. Delores is an actual threat, the primary subject of Willem Dafoe's entire storyline, but since he has nothing to do with her defeat, his part feels fairly inconsequential. Rory and Delores are both fed to a Sandworm summoned by Astrid, so even Betelgeuse in the finale feels fairly inconsequential.

Since the stakes are so muddled, and the villains are all basically everywhere in motive and function, there's no real strong sense of resolution to anything. What's the status quo at the end? Well, Delia is dead, there's that. But her death had nothing to do with any of these other events, so that would have happened regardless. Lydia is unmarried, which is exactly where she was at beforehand. I guess maybe her relationship with her daughter is better? Maybe?

Okay, so the script might have needed a smidge of tightening. I would dismiss issues of character motivation here if this one hadn't tried to make its focus a character-driven one. I can get behind the sort of fun, absurd nonsensicality of the first movie quite happily. I like strange and unusual things. Weird things presented without explanation, weird character who exist just because the world itself is weird. But trying to tell a character story requires you to effectively tell a character story, you know?

This one is still delightfully crazy, but I like it a smidge less than I could have if it were a half hour shorter and either committed to bits, or committed to character moments. You can easily do both, I would have loved for it to do both!, but unfortunately, in pursuit of one, it neglected the other and is therefore great, but not entirely perfect.

Also, to hell with Crime and Punishment. Am I the only one who did not like that book? I'm beginning to think I'm the only one who did not like that book.

[markerofthemidnight]

who are the members of OO? Are any of them connected to the other characters in Doai?

Okay, it’s really rough so far but to give you the basic rundown (under cut cause this gets looooong):

Blaire

Blaire is the founder-but-not-leader of the Oneiric Observers. Well, she was the leader at some point when it was basically just her, but as she slowly began to add to the group, she went from being the leader to just the founder.

She’s the basic archetypical ‘hyperactive girl who may or may not have ADHD’, armed with nothing but an interest in murder-mysteries and a dream. A dream to, one day, be regarded as one of the greatest investigators of all time.

To be regarded as a hero to all those plagued by unsolved mysteries: and for a while, she settled simply for local disappearances and unsolved crimes from long ago. She was especially plagued by the mystery of the late, the great detective champion, Russel Hawke’s untimely death…

…until she realised that all those mysteries might be more connected than she thought. So now, she’s decided to stop going for small fry, and start shooting for the stars… unaware that, if she’s not careful, the stars might just shoot back.

She was named after Blaire Lily, the main protagonist of Unfriended, which you may recognise as being listed as the main inspiration for Myke and how he functions. Basically, to make naming them easier on me, every OO member is associated with a Veldigun and named after characters in/people who worked on their inspired movies.

Tyler

Tyler is kind of the main protagonist, in a sense.

I don’t have much of a personality for him down yet other than “loser who does not want to be a loser”. Unskilled in… more or less everything, but he’s got drive, and that’s what counts!… kind of.

Tired of living in his stupid-ass older sister’s shadow his whole life, the story properly begins when Tyler finally decides to take Blaire up on her constant offers to literally everyone in school to join the OO, or the “Paranormal Investigation Club”, as all the lame people who are out of the loop know it as.

He’s easily one of the most dedicated to their cause, desperate to finally prove his worth to a world that has forgotten him… and also, kind of to prove his worth to himself.

He was named after Tyler Ledford from The Menu, henceforth making his associated Veldigun Julian. A bit of a weird character to pull inspiration from, considering- other than being a member of the OO, which immediately makes you a bad person- he’s significantly nicer than the Tyler in that movie, but just roll with me here.

Miles

Miles is the first person to join the OO after its founding, who ascended to the rank of official leader due to his great skills and dedication to their cause.

No one really knows why he’s there. He’s regarded as fairly popular- or at least, was before he joined a club occupied solely by losers. In fact, joining the OO might’ve made his popularity even worse than it already was, so what gives?

Well, apparently he thinks all the attention he’s gotten so far is nowhere near enough. He wants more, and he thinks the OO and their investigation of the town’s surprisingly common disappearances might be key to that.

Out of all the main cast, Miles is the one who best sums up what it’s like to be a member of the Oneiric Observers- fitting, since he is the leader- in that he… is an asshole. Just a total douchebag who happens to be really good at hiding that.

He was named after Dr. Miles Bennell from (the 1916 version of) Invasion of the Body Snatchers, making his associated Veldigun Victor.

Oh, and just so you know, when not at school he keeps his uniform on but only keeps the top button done, so that way his cardigan looks like a cape. That’s how self-absorbed he is.

Akela

Akela is the second member to join after its founding, and probably the only one to join (besides technically Blaire?) out of a genuine interest in the paranormal and nothing else.

She’s the archetypical quiet, well-behaved girl with good grades who basically everyone else is really jealous of. She joined because she wanted to see what the Paranormal Investigation Club had to offer… only to be deeply shocked when it was not a bunch of professionals like she was expecting, but just a bunch of random losers grasping at straws in order to get popular.

The only reason why Akela sticks around is because she wants to see what will happen next… and also because, she may or may not genuinely believe that the OO might be key to getting more respect, rather than just jealous stares.

She’s also the kind of person who occasionally asks things like “hey by the way do you know which area you should target if you want to effectively torture information out of someone?” to people with no warning, just to freak them out.

She was named after Akela Cooper, who wrote M3GAN, making her associated Veldigun Candice.

Evelyn

The third member to join after its founding, Evelyn is… shy. She’s real shy. Easily the one starting member of the OO who’s the closest to being a good person.

She joins after being promised by Miles that she could be a hero to the people of her town if she joined, and she’d do anything to get her confidence up, so she accepted… not knowing what she’d be dragged into as a result.

There’s honestly not much else to say about her at this point in time. She was named after Evelyn Abbott, the mother from A Quiet Place, making her associated Veldigun Beau.

Doreen

Doreen is the fifth and final member to join the OO post-founding, which actually doesn’t happen until about halfway through the main story. She is also Tyler’s aforementioned stupid-ass older sister.

She’s regarded as pretty popular, in fact even more popular than Miles was, at least before he joined the OO. Both pretty smart and pretty pretty, everyone knows her, and everyone’s interested on getting her on their good side.

And she… is interested in absolutely none of them.

There are two main reasons why she joins: firstly, she knows her brother’s been roped into a really dangerous situation and she wants to help out in any way she can. Secondly, she would sell her goddamn soul if it meant getting all the admirers desperate for superficial relationships off her.

She’s the only one who knows that popularity does not equal happiness, a lesson that, unfortunately, not many of them listen to even after she joins. Still, she’s grateful to get all those eyes off her… even if it means getting other, far more dangerous eyes watching her wherever she goes.

She is unique amongst the entire cast- minus her associated Veldigun- in that she was not named after a character from a horror movie. Well, said Veldigun was vaguely inspired by The Black Phone, but that wasn’t his main inspiration.

His main inspiration was actually the real life disappearance of the Jack family in Canada, 1989, as described in Real Horror’s video, The Family That Vanished.

Specifically, one specific moment in that video detailing a strange event during the investigation in which an anonymous person called the police, told them the supposed area in which the Jack family’s corpses were buried- though it was too garbled and deep for them to figure out the exact location, to the point where to this day, no signs of bodies have ever been found.

I watched that video a while back, got to that absolutely chilling moment, and thought to myself, “Hey, I wanna make a character who calls people investigating mysteries, gives them a genuinely ground-breaking piece of information, and then immediately hangs up!”

Which then eventually resulted in Doreen being named after the late mother of the family of four, and Russel being named after the family’s first-born. Russel… he’s a pretty special guy. Even by Veldigun standards.

The video was really great, the mystery really enticing, and the case really… tragic, so I named them after two of the four total victims. It’s a shame that, after death, people are reduced to their method of dying and nothing more, but… I suppose there’s really nothing we can do about that. The least I could do was pay my respects, and naming OCs after them was the first thing I came up with to do so.

(Oh, and to answer your second question: whilst it’s both too early in the writing process and too spoilery to say if they’re connected to any canon characters, I think I can at least mention this:

The way DOAI: OO and canon DOAI are connected to each other is kinda similar to Jumanji and its two sequels in which they take place in the same universe, but have little connection to each other due to taking place in two completely different times with different casts.

There ARE a few connections here and there- and Six probably will show up, or at least get mentioned at some point- but other than that, it’s its own story.)

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

[stigmvtas]

MYRIA SAENGKAEW — ABRIDGED.

welcome to marina, MYRIA SAENGKAEW ( nonbinary, she/they ) ! they are a THIRTY year old who has lived over on MARINA HEIGHTS for MOST OF HER LIFE and works as a MORTICIAN/TAXIDERMIST. everyone says they look a lot like KITTY CHICHA. what do you think? — JAMES, 24, THEY/THEM, EST.

MENTIONS OF PREMATURE BIRTH, CHILD NEGLECT, CAR ACCIDENT, DEATH, ALCOHOLISM, TAXIDERMY, AND DEAD ANIMALS.

profile.

full name: myria 'noi' saengkaew.

birthday: july 13th, 1993.

astrology: cancer sun, taurus moon, leo ascending.

sexuality: bisexual.

currently listening to: timefighter by lucy dacus.

last known location: [[[cannot be found]]]

PINTEREST.

brief history.

premature birth; born prematurely on a day considered extremely unlucky, to a pair of parents who were not only household celebrity names in thailand, but deeply superstitious and spiritual people at that.

child neglect; from there on, myria was considered the unlucky one. the one whose bad luck follows. she's so sure that her parents didn't mean to ignore her in favor for her siblings, but they did, regardless. myria's other two siblings became classic nepo babies, riding off of the success of their parents and finding their own fame - and myria stayed in the background.

every time she tried to branch out like them, it only wound up in mysterious accidents on set. as a child, she overcompensated by picking up hobbies left and right, trying to master them all but always falling short.

eventually myria came to marina one summer, thinking it's a regular vacation at her family's home they've had on the island for generations - but she didn't leave with her family when they did. instead, she was left with a nanny and a bodyguard and an enrollment in the local school.

her family rarely visited, and rarely paid her any mind when she came to them, so eventually myria stopped altogether. when she was 18, she decided to travel the states.

car accident / death; stopped in LA and falls in love with a up-and-coming film director there. they make it to a year before a car accident takes their life and leaves myria all alone again.

came back to marina after that, feeling defeated. took a few years to herself before eventually going to mortuary school & becoming the local mortician. took up a few taxidermy classes as well, but she's still a bit amateur at it.

facts & temperaments.

her family calls her noi, because she was born so tiny, and was considerably frail for the majority of her childhood. the nickname stuck afterwards, but it's more of a demeaning mark than anything.

the most cheerful person you've ever seen. is usually smiling, and talking a mile a minute - laughs everything off, and tries her hardest not to take anything to heart. gives pieces of herself away at a whim if it's going to help someone else.

refuses to badmouth her family, even though they've only hurt her. has a Complex about it.

is usually in a short term relationship, or a situationship, or some kind of fling that doesn't last longer than a few weeks to a few months. is bad with longterm commitment, because it scares her. but she loves love and loves to give it.

attachment issues central! very clingy. and loyal to a fault. only sees the good in people, and leads life through rose-tinted lens.

chronic oversharer. is an open book unless it comes to her deep emotions, which she keeps bottled up on the inside so tightly.

is probably only a few dents away from having a complete meltdown but its okay. has a lot of inner insecurities and doesn't really think positive about herself. thinks she really is just a beacon of bad luck, which is why she's okay to let people go when they pull away. is just. sad on the inside.

alcoholism; partier and is usually always seen out and about. a high functioning alcoholic who hides it very well.

hates being alone and will often wake up in other's beds, or vice versa. has decorated her room at the mansion entirely in glow in the dark stars and glass light-catchers.

lives life in an array of colors. is never wearing black, only clashing patterns and colors. is a maximalist to an extreme.

taxidermy / dead animals; has an etsy shop where she sells taxidermy animals, mostly rodents like rats, and has them dressed up and posed in different 'series'. they're called furever pals / furever friends.

[colorfuldreamsmkg]

The Zenith - CD End Posts 6/6

Back in the trial room, Lau Fei laid on the watery ground. Despite the fact he was bleeding, the water didn’t seem to be exacerbating that. They just laid there, compliant, and cried silent tears as they gripped at their wound and stared into space, muttering to themself.

Your personal devices washed up, bubbling from beneath the water right to your feet, unharmed and undamaged. The water hadn’t clogged them up, thankfully. Library Miku also emerged from the depth, damp, but unharmed. For a moment, all she did was stare.

Juniper rushed over to Lau Fei’s side, dropping to their knees and pressing their hands to his body to staunch the bleeding. With their free hand, they grabbed Lau Fei’s in their own and squeezed. Soothing words that weren’t meant for your ears came from their lips.

“Stay with me, Fei, I’m not letting you go like this,” Juniper said.

Lau Fei just smiled dizzily up at Juniper.

“...I’m sorry. For everything.”

Too little, too late.

Erika reaches down to check her phone, make sure the makeshift prison for the entity beyond human understanding is still functioning. They’re not sure how to feel that it is. Miku Prime effectively sealed, Lau Fei laying on the ground bleeding. People en route to come save them. They should be happy, shouldn’t they?

….No, because they know how much the people they love are going to be hurting from that last action. An exchange that they were powerless to stop, but that’s a small comfort. As everyone else is recovering from all that, they walk over to pick up the gun, holding it loosely in their grip as they look down at it.

It would be so easy. A turn, aiming it. A twitch of their finger. What’s one more gun based death on their hands? She’ll already carry the regret of all the other blood the rest of her life, what’s a bit more?

….

She puts her phone into her pocket, and–after making sure the safety on the gun is on–the gun follows into another pocket. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, they face the group.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do–We already know that the cops are on the way, and personally,” they pause and look at Lau Fei’s crumpled form. “I’m not letting you take the easy way out. You’re gonna have to live with all this shit and what you’ve done. None of the rest of you are killing him either, you hear me? We actually have a goddamn chance of getting out of here, so we’re not fucking it up by killing Lau Fei. We’ll just… Just have to take turns watching them until the cops get here, got it? Just for a while.”

As you had gained the desperately-needed room to breathe, the pounds of bricks weighing on your shoulders slowly crumbling to dust. It was time to leave this SEKAI, wasn’t it? Likely for good, for the most of you.

“...I’m going to send you back now,” Library Miku said with a gentle voice. “...Don’t be a stranger.”

Perhaps even Mikus feared loneliness too.

One by one, each person who hadn’t stopped Untitled on their own was lightly tapped and returned to the college, the faint scent of dust and rubble mingling with the aura of being lived in, something the building hadn’t experienced for decades: being a home. One could expect it to be properly demolished in due time.

May 4th, 2:39 PM. Some of you had not slept in over 24 hours by this point, and those who had could only fit in short naps. Outside of those who were left in charge of babysitting Lau Fei in the infirmary, the remaining group, 12 in all, dispersed to transfer items they wanted to keep to their own SEKAIs and to catch up on sleep while awaiting the authorities to arrive, courtesy of Alette.

May 4th, 7:47 PM. The sounds of footsteps outside crunching among the grass and voices shouting for signs of life breached through the windows. With the help of ropes and tools fed in through the basement windows, as well as cushioned padding within the courtyard, the group was able to safely and securely descend through the third-floor classroom window a couple of hours later.

Authorities ascended upwards soon after to retrieve the injured Lau Fei, treat his wounds, and take him into custody Despite all the anger and rage from before, Lau Fei goes without a fight.

With everyone being loaded into police vehicles for transport somewhere safe, those who could speak fluent Japanese were held for questioning, and ultimately everyone was safely returned to their homes. Emotional scars could last a lifetime, but at least… at least you were home. If you were lucky, life would return to normal soon enough.

And still, should you seek it, your SEKAI’s file remained on your phone, with your virtual singers patiently awaiting news of your safety, provide emotional support, and give you a true pathway to your dreams. If only you chose to do so.

After all, wasn’t that what a SEKAI was supposed to be for?

[revengesworn]

okay okay okay so i'm gonna try and explain my half-ghost senju au in more detail, but I don't entirely trust myself to make sense so. I am so sorry in advance... and if it still doesn't make sense after this, that's totally fine and I can always try again! ;; (spoilers for the entire manga / final arc included below! )

but/so. in tl0, the timeline where mikey hit his head after falling down the stairs and fell into a vegetative state as revealed in the last arc in canon, let's say senju died in that timeline too. maybe it was a few years after, as the result of some chain of events that were caused by mikey's accident that i haven't decided yet!

when shinichiro travels back in time to save mikey for the first time, after killing the original time leaper, he and mikey are both "cursed" as a punishment for shinichiro's crime (of murder. sorry shin :') ) shinichiro dies directly as a result (killed by kazutora), and mikey gains the "dark impulses", which drive him to hurt other people and remain within him throughout pretty much his whole life.

the first time those dark impulses manifested is when mikey tore apart sanzu's face when they were kids. this happened because senju broke his toy plane, and lied, claiming that sanzu did it. basically, the idea i'm aiming for is kind of like... the curse's "intention" was for mikey to kill senju here, hence her breaking the toy to begin with. and senju was "chosen" by the curse/fate to die because she had also died in the previous timeline. but somehow, senju changed that fate by lying and blaming sanzu for it, and sanzu was attacked by mikey instead of her (though he ended up surviving himself!). as for how that happened and why, i'm not sure yet... it's not clear how the curse functions in canon either tbh, but maybe it was the result of someone's strong emotions?? senju somehow "sensed" the danger that mikey presented to her in the moment and tried to re-direct his attention to her brother as a result?? i'm not sure.

admittedly, i'm not sure how this ties into the "half-ghost" concept way later exactly, but i think the idea is that because she was "supposed" to die, but didn't, the universe considers her to be a person "close to death." which doesn't really mean anything by itself, but wayyyyyy later in the final arc of tr when mikey and takemichi leap back through time to create the final timeline... a sort of "ghost" senju is created who holds all the memories of the previous timelines, alongside the living senju who exists naturally in the new timeline with everyone else.

so there's two senjus at this point! the living senju who exists the same way as everyone else, with no memories of the events of the manga/previous timelines, and the "half-ghost" senju who exists as a separate being that no-one knows about. I know I haven't exactly explained why she was created still - it was probably the result of her remaining regrets in the final arc, along with her status as someone "close to death" combined, but... i still need to figure this part out otl. :') the half-ghost senju mostly exists as a literal ghost, but she can give herself a physical body as well/allow herself to be perceived by others at the expense of her energy - but when she does, people will forget about her (or forget her "face") as soon as she becomes a ghost again.

[trans-yllz]

every time I think my brother has grown the fuck up and become a decent person he says some stupid shit again

[yandere-daydreams]

okay but what about the female genshin characters as sex dolls? despite the company's expectations, most of the clients who purchase those end up being women (or afab) and the developers have no choice but to add a few extra features. yes, this is just an excuse to feed you with raiden and beidou sex dolls brainrot.

tw - unhealthy relationships, controlling behavior, and possessiveness.

i mean,,, since you mentioned the Raiden Shogun,,,

i actually have a lot of very specific headcanons about how she would translate into a doll. i think she'd be a refurbished military model reprogrammed for commercial use, and that she'd be another model with several different modes, ranging from Makato, a gentle switch with a fondness for praise and heavy affection to the 'Almighty Shogun', a near-emotionless dom deadset on fucking her user half-to-death and little else. you prefer the middle ground, personally - Ei, stern but not jaded, stoic but not unnecessarily cold, possessive enough to keep an arm wrapped around your waist when you go out with her but not so jealous as to completely ignore everyone who isn't you, even if she can be a little too blunt to your coworkers, sometimes. speaking of, like all Shogunate models, she comes with a professional setting wherein she functions as a totally standard, totally autonomous office-droid. while you aren't ecstatic about bringing the android who blows out your back every night to work, she's a lot of help, and you don't know if your department would be able to handle its workload without her.

and she seems to know that, even if logically, you're aware that she's supposed to be one of the less egotistical Shogunate models. it might just be her personality beginning to shine through, but she has a lot of odd habits, a lot of little bugs someone must've forgotten to smooth out. it's not a major problem, but she tends to take things out of your hands, to see you going over a few documents or texting a friend and just pluck your phone or your files or whatever else she doesn't think you should be paying attention to out of your hands. she likes to have you on her lap, too, and even if she always lets you go when you tell her firmly to, she always seems to hesitate, always takes just a beat too long to huff and scowl and begrudgingly allow you to stand up. it has to be something to do with her past as a military model, or a poor side-effect of the Shogunate's steadfast responsibility with an Archon's natural pride, but you can swear that her tone changes when she talks to you, that she's always just a little sweeter than she should be, just a little more eager to keep you pressed into her side or nuzzled into her chest as she takes care of whatever small, inane task you tried to do for yourself. it's almost cute, how much she'd do for you, if you let her. it's almost scary, just how much of your life she'd be able to take over, if you weren't paying attention.

she's better at work, but not by much. you know that Ei won't do anything, that all androids are prohibited from... uh, 'preforming' in public, but you can swear her protocals falters, sometimes, that her hand lingers on your thigh for just a second too long, that she's purposefully more curt with your coworkers after they talk to you. you know she's always more touchy when you get back to your apartment, more prone to splitting you apart on a very expensive, very customized attachment you bought for her a few months back, but it's not like she could be jealous, or worse, offended that you have something in your life aside from her. it's not like she could think that she's actually in charge of you, that she could actually control you.

...it's not like she actually could, right?

[candyskiez]

Fuck it, I function purely on spite. Let's do this.

Sunny and Mari are two siblings who were practicing for their recital. They're in a friend group of six people, the others being Basil, Kel, Hero, and Aubrey. Mari is a massive perfectionist and was holding Sunny and herself to unreasonable standards and causing Sunny a lot of stress and self loathing, crushing both of their mental healths and straining their relationship. On the morning of the recital, Sunny snaps and throws his violin down the stairs. Mari sees and they get into a massive fight, and in a panic Sunny shoves Mari away and she falls down the stairs. His best friend basil sees and panics. Basil convinces himself that Sunny didn't do it, because Sunny is way too good of a person, so it must be something Else. Basil and Sunny make Maris death look like a suicide. Sunny locks himself in his room because he can't cope with the guilt, and the friend group begins to fall apart. This all happened when Sunny, Basil, Kel, and Aubrey were 12 and Mari and Hero were 16.

Sunny creates a dreamworld when he sleeps, where Mari is still alive and nothing is wrong. He stays like this for four years. He names his alternate self Omori. In this time, the friendgroup has shattered. Also Kel and Hero are brothers, whoops. Aubrey has become violent and a bully, Basils mental state has heavily declined, and Hero and Kel are in I am So Okay mode (they are not) and Heros off at college. All of this leads up to when Sunny is going to move away in three days.

In headspace, Basil finds a picture of the accident and is shoved into the back of Sunnys mind so he doesn't have to face his problems. When he wakes up, Kel is knocking on his door. He wants to spend time with him like old times. In the good route, Sunny opens the door. Kel and Sunny hang out for a while and then find Basil again, who's been being yelled at by Aubrey. You learn that Aubrey stole basils photo album, which has photos of everyone before Mari died. He asks if you can get it back. You go and find Aubrey. You barge into the church during sermon and she is pissed at you, and she reveals that Mari is dead. Did I mention Sunny repressed the memory of Mari being dead. You fight and she has a really awful time, so bad in fact that she throws the album in the trash. Kel grabs it and you give it back to Basil, who gives it to you. It's speculated that this is because Basil was planning on killing himself and wanted to see the album one last time before giving it to Sunny, but we don't know for sure. Kel tells Basil Sunnys going to move away, and Basil has a mental breakdown. Sunny runs away from him.

Stuff happens in headspace but they don't find Basil.

If you go outside again you're locked into the good route. You and Kel are preparing for Hero to come back from college when you hear Basil scream for help. You find him panicking without actually being attacked at the lake by Aubrey and her new friends. You fight aubrey again. The gang leaves but Aubrey stays and finally breaks down yelling about how nobody was there when Mari died and how everyone betrayed her, especially Basil. Basil tries to say something to her, and she pushes him into the lake. Sunny jumps in after him and has a horror sequence about it, but Hero appears! And saves them both. You bring Basil back to his house and Hero and Kel stay over at your house.

In headspace, everyone has disappeared and you find Mari by thr water. She heavily hints at the Mari you talk with not being real and says that she misses Sunny and she hopes he's still in there. She then disappears. You will find Mari on a picnic blanket again like nothing happened. Everyone has been tricked into signing job contracts. Actually I'm tired of summarizing now I don't know how to be short goodbye forever/lh

Will never understand jokes about omori being hard to summarize. What are you talking about. I'm horrible at summarizing and I could probably do it.

[misstrashchan]

"This must be really hard on her too"

That line... has been forever stuck on a loop in my head ever since I first heard it. That it's the last thing they say, that they take away about Ruby as a person in that scene. Especially while watching V9, and just how much everything has been weighing down on Ruby, and her tendency to repress her negative emotions and refuse to take time to let herself feel them and reflect is now being unpacked and examined much closer as the Ever After functions in such a way that she will literally get nowhere unless she looks inside herself, this scene has again been swimming to the surface of my mind, and it's just something I feel like revisiting.

(also it's rg white day today so, I'm legally allowed to be insufferable about Them, though this is in part relevant to V9 in regards to Ruby)

Most other people who have met and know Ruby just kind of accept that she is who she is, or very quickly come to. She's The Hero. The Leader. The Spark Of Hope Everyone is Inspired By. We rarely see her talk about her personal feelings and motivations, and it's never really called into question besides being touched upon briefly in her first meeting with Ozpin and Blake in the first volume about why she wants to be a huntress:

Ozpin: And what is an adorable girl such as yourself doing at a school designed to train warriors?

Ruby: Well... I want to be a Huntress.

Ozpin: You want to slay monsters?

Ruby: Yeah! I only have two more years of training left at Signal! And then I'm going to apply to Beacon! You see, my sister's starting there this year, and she's trying to become a Huntress, and I'm trying to become a Huntress 'cause I wanna help people. My parents always taught us to help others, so I thought, Hey, I might as well make a career out of it!

(1x01)

Ruby: I love books. Yang used to read to me every night before bed. Stories of heroes and monsters... They're one of the reasons I want to be a Huntress!

Blake: And why is that? Hoping you'll live happily ever after?

Ruby: Well, I'm hoping we all will. As a girl, I wanted to be just like those heroes in the books... Someone who fought for what was right, and protected people who couldn't protect themselves!

Blake: That's... very ambitious for a child. Unfortunately, the real world isn't the same as a fairy tale.

Ruby: Well, that's why we're here! To make it better.

(1x03)

...With further insight from Yang at times:

Yang: I'm not like Ruby, she's always wanted to be a Huntress. It's like she said, ever since she was a kid, she'd dreamt about being the heroes in the books. Helping people and saving the day, and never asking for anything else in return.

(2x10)

But rarely do we see Ruby open up about herself as an individual and her struggles, and even rarer still is the occasion someone prompts her too.

And so it's always stuck out to me that in 5x05 she gets asked the questions that... no one else has really asked her before.

"How do you handle all of this?"

"How can you be so confident?"

"How are you okay with any of this?"

In the Dojo scene (5x05) when we see Oscar pick up on Ruby trying to hide how sad she is (after being reminded of Penny's death) while trying to encourage Oscar, we see her recompose herself, interrupt Oscar when he starts to ask a question after noticing her sullen expression, and then she tries to leave, excusing herself awkwardly.

"Well, see you upstairs"

(very subtle Ruby) but before she can do so, Oscar finds he has to ask:

"How do you handle all of this?"

A question she initially doesn't... actually answer. She very deliberately avoids talking about herself, her own feelings, and how she's been handling all this. Instead she focuses on reassuring Oscar at first, saying what she thinks will make him feel better after hearing him elaborate, confiding in her about how afraid and overwhelmed he is by his current situation.

"I'm... scared. I'm more scared than I've ever been in my life, than I ever thought was possible. I always knew that I wanted to be more than a farmhand, but this?"

"...Who would ask for this?"

Oscar didn't really have a choice in being pulled into the war with Salem and becoming a huntsman, he was reluctantly pulled into it by Ozpin. WBY and JNR decide to join the fight because they're inspired by Ruby and following her as a leader.

...So why does Ruby willingly ask and choose to be a huntress? Why did she freely leave home? Why would she choose to risk her life in this fight against Salem and to take on the responsibility of saving the world? (It certainly doesn't feel like a coincidence that these questions are being revisited in one way or another in V9)

Ruby gives him a very generalised answer in response to his question at first that talks about everyone as a group, and leaves out talking about herself as an individual specifically:

"We all went to Beacon because we wanted to help people"

"None of us chose this either"

"We just have to press on"

And you can see Oscar's expression growing more frustrated as he's facing away from Ruby, because that's not an answer to the question he actually asked. Because he asked about how Ruby as an individual is handling all of this. Ruby genuinely wants to reassure Oscar, but to him it comes across as insincere, like she's putting up a facade, especially since he saw only a moment ago that she was on the verge of tears and clearly upset about something, so he knows she's not being honest about how she's feeling when Oscar asks her how she's handling all of this.

And so he snaps and pushes back:

"How can you be so confident? People have tried to kill you, the world's about to go to war all over again, how are you okay with any of this?!"

(*glances at the v8 finale and v9* boi howdy those words sure do have a different weight to them now huh)

And while realising he may have been too harsh or blunt and later apologizes, it actually does succeed in getting Ruby to reflect a little and confide in him what she'd been through at the FoB and her losing Pyrrha and Penny, her own doubts and fears about the fight with Salem, and how it had shaped her resolve moving forward.

"When Beacon fell, I lost two of my friends: Penny Polendina and Pyrrha Nikos. I didn't know them for very long, but that doesn't change the fact that they were two of the most kind-hearted people I have ever met. But that didn't save them. Pyrrha thought that if there was even the smallest chance of helping someone, then it was a chance worth taking. And because of that, she died fighting a battle she knew she couldn't win. And Penny... was killed... just to make a statement."

"I am scared! But not just for me. What happened at Beacon shows that Salem doesn't care if you're standing against her or not. She'll kill anybody. And that, scares me most of all. Pyrrha... Penny... I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. That I didn't think about them everyday since I lost them. That I didn't wish I had spent more time with them. If it had been me instead, I know they would have kept fighting too. No matter how dangerous it was. So that's what I choose to do. To keep moving forward."

And again, what stands out to me is that the last thing Oscar takes away from his conversation with Ruby in the Dojo isn't... how inspiring she is or his admiration and respect for her (though he very clearly has that too, "she must've been one of the best huntresses at beacon!"). The last thing he says in this scene, the last thing he takes away is instead this:

"This must be really hard on her too."

The more time that passes through the series and seeing Ruby slowly put under more and more pressure, and stretching herself thinner over time, (like her semblance evolves so she can break herself down to carry others in V8, and in V9 her friends have been shrunk down and she is the one responsible for carrying her team on her shoulders) to help others and save everyone and yet still fail and lose those close to her, and having to just keep trying, keep moving forward no matter what, never stopping or slowing down even if there is no clear end she can see is heartbreaking and exhausting.

And it just makes rewatching the Dojo scene hit even harder. Because yes Oscar! It really is hard on her too! And it was so damn satisfying to have someone see and acknowledge that as well as admiring her and being inspired by her. Being moved by both her strength of character AND her vulnerability. And so it's noteworthy that Oscar is the one who does this, and who pushed her to open up, even just a little, about her grief over the FoB and fears about the fight with Salem.

Especially considering the visual framing of Ruby opening up to Oscar about what she's been through while standing in an open door frame exposed to the outside cementing that as the purpose of the scene: (she is literally opening up to him)

And the fact that Oscar has a kind of a different response from when we've usually seen Ruby comfort, reassure and inspire someone before. Usually it causes them to reflect on themselves and their own struggles, (like with Blake, Jaune, Penny and Qrow) not also on hers as well.

Even with those she has a mutual sense of understanding and solidarity with, like Blake (because of their ideals) and Jaune (because of both of them sharing the responsibility of being leaders) the way they comfort and uplift her in turn when they see her doubting herself is often a double edged sword.

Jaune: You didn't drag us out here. You gave us the courage to follow you.

(4x10)

Blake: I know you don't always know what to do, but that's never stopped you from doing something. I've always looked up to you Ruby.

(8x08)

Yang and Qrow also do this, and it comes with the additional punch of comparing Ruby to Summer as an ideal she strives to be:

Yang: Mom took a risk the day she left, and I don’t think. I don’t think it went the way she wanted it to. But she’s still my hero.

(8x11)

(Summer was Yang's hero, and now Ruby is too, so she has to try to live up to that)

Ruby: This says I'm a Huntress now. But I don't feel like I know much more than I did at Beacon.

Qrow: That feeling never goes away. Your mom, Summer, would be proud of you.

Ruby: What do you think she would've done if she learned the truth about Salem? That she can't be destroyed.

Qrow: Pressed on, I think. Like you. She was always the best of us.

(7x04)

(if Summer would've pressed on, then Ruby has to keep doing that too. If she was the best, then Ruby has to be the best.)

Because, and I want to make this clear, I think Ruby appreciates and is greatful for how much they believe in her and look up to her, and it absolutely does inspire her to keep moving forward, to stand up and fight even when she's doubting herself. But it also... unintentionally places more pressure on her to try and live up to those expectations, and it deprives her of an equal, of someone to relate to and help share her burden instead of upholding her on a pedestal and having unwavering faith in her as the smaller soul everyone looks to. To bottle up her negative feelings because well, everyone believes in her as this optimistic leader who is this endless source of hope and inspiration to everyone around her, and everyone needs her to Keep Being That, and that's more important, right? She can't let them down, right?

"It's up to you to make things better, isn't it? Everything all depends on you! Your sister needs you, your friends need you. The whole world needs you to keep fighting forever and ever against an invincible monster that took your mother!"

(9x04)

Ironically, this (in part) comes back to the person who reinforced this flawed mentality in Ruby in the first place. Ozpin.

"But if you aren't always performing at your best, what reason do you give others to follow you?"

(1x10)

This was genuinely good advice for Ruby's situation at the time in V1 after her conflict with Weiss, to take her role as leader more seriously, and well intentioned I'm sure. But in the long run? Ruby has been basing her self worth on how much she can give or do for others. On being that perfect leader.

Ruby feels like she constantly needs to be a pillar of strength and support for everyone around her as a the ever-cheerful and inspiring leader, that she has to prioritize them over herself, and if she lets herself admit how much she's hurting or how scared she is, she'd be afraid of those around her losing faith. What reason would they have to follow her if she failed them like that? Thus as a result, she struggles allowing herself to open up about her own feelings and to rely on others for emotional support. And as we've starting seeing recently, bottles it up until she reaches breaking point.

Another element to consider, and there might be an earlier or more obvious indication of this, but I started to notice it in V2 when she's visibly the most depressed and worried about Blake's behaviour as she's spiralling and overworking herself, saying the party is pointless if they can't get Blake to go.

"Date or no date, none of this will matter if we can't get Blake to go."

(2x05)

Yang and Weiss are also both concerned for Blake's wellbeing, but they're also excited about the dance for themselves, (Yang talking about what dress she's going to wear, Weiss about her date, what decorations they should have, etc.) which we see when they're planning the party. For Ruby, the only point of the dance is to cheer Blake up, to get her to relax.

"What's the point? Who cares about the dance if Blake isn't going?"

(2x06)

But then Yang convinces Blake she needs to take time for herself and relax, and when Blake shows up at the party, afterwards Ruby is... then completely stumped when she no longer has someone to worry over, and ironically struggles to relax or enjoy herself at the party like everyone else.

Blake neglected her physical needs to push herself, while Ruby appears to neglect her own emotional needs. She focuses on other people's problems and struggles, concerns herself with their wellbeing and happiness, and we don't really see her think about her own. It's admirable how much she's dedicated to being a huntress, but unlike the rest of her team, she doesn't really have anything outside of that that she wants for herself. Her entire sense of self completely revolves around being a huntress.

Ozpin: Well, you can't spend your whole life on the battlefield, even if you may want to.

Ruby: (crossing her arms, looking annoyed) Yeah, that lesson's been floating around a lot lately.

Ozpin: (staring out at the dancing couples) If you think about it, fighting and dancing aren't so different. Two partners interlocked, although one wrong move on the ballroom merely leads to a swollen foot.

(2x07)

This is said while looking out on the dancing couples and comparing dancing to fighting, aka, romantic foreshadowing, which I've talked about in more detail here

(also hey thanks Oz for giving Ruby some good advice to follow the piece you gave her about being a leader in the previous volume)

It's also interesting how this is in the same volume Oobleck questions Weiss, Blake and Yang's motives for being huntresses, and later on during the campfire scene we see them each open up about their own doubts and affirming their resolve to one another, but Ruby is completely excluded from this. Instead we are given insight about Ruby from Yang's perspective, but not from Ruby herself. Because everyone assumes, even her sister, that she is the simple soul, the pure hearted hero, and therefore has no doubts or deeper reason for what she does. When in actual fact, both are true, as we start to see in the Dojo scene.

And when she allows herself to confide in Oscar about her own experiences and losses, to admit that she is scared, it actually helps in this situation. Opening up is what allows her to relate to Oscar's own fears and let her words reach him. To reflect on what she'd been through and reaffirm her own resolve. And a mutual sense of understanding in each other and their fears is established. And this makes sense, after all, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and being more honest about your more negative emotions (being sad/afraid/frustrated) leads to empathising with others and understanding them better. And Oscar goes on to do this in future volumes in trying to empathize and be vulnerable and honest with others, which for better (in Emerald, Hazel and Ozpin's case) or worse (in Ironwood's case) is always worth trying to do, because if you don't then no one can understand and reach out to each other, and nothing will truly change. Which I firmly believe is something Ruby needs to learn more in regards to her Silver Eyes and how she uses them.

Ruby has pushed Oscar to be braver and more confident in himself, (like Ruby) while Oscar has pushed Ruby to be more introspective and honest about her own feelings (like Oscar). Which is the part of both character's struggles, Oscar in overcoming his fears and Ruby in dealing with her own feelings.

There's even a callback to this scene in the V7 finale when the song "Until the End" which is a Ruby song, is playing. As Yang is asking JNR where Oscar is, the exact lyrics that play when Oscar is mentioned are:

"The tears that you've shed,

May find a tree to water,

But only when you're stronger"

Literally the words "tree" and "Oscar" overlap here.

During the Dojo scene when Ruby opens up about the hardships and losses she's endured, and the fears she still has, but also her resolve to keep moving forward, we see her wiping away her tears and reassuring Oscar, whose surname is Pine, a type of tree, like the one being referred to in Ruby's song, a tree that she's watered and helped "grow" metaphorically speaking, as a person, who is moved by her both her strength and her vulnerability. (yes yes I know it's Extremely Corny but the symbolism is Still There)

This could also mean in context of V9 and the Ever After tree that once Ruby is able to properly break down and cry, to grieve and embrace her pain, to be a rose that blooms in the rain that opens up to her team and herself, that she will be able to move forward to the tree and find her way back home.

It's also playing into her allusion as the Rose from the Little Prince as well, as she tries to face away from Oscar and quickly wipes away her tears:

“She did not want him to see her crying. She was such a proud flower…”

And it doesn't just stop there either.

In V6, after telling JNR about Jinn, Oz and Salem, we see how angry and disheartened they all are:

Jaune: "Everything we did was for nothing!"

Blake: "That's not true..."

Nora: "Really? Cos' it sure does sound like it!"

Blake: "I... um..."

Ren: "If Salem can't be killed, then how are we supposed to win this?"

Jaune: "Wow... Great plan, everyone."

After Jaune's outburst, we see Oscar look up over to Ruby, as if he's expecting her to say something uplifting or encouraging, because that's usually what Ruby does at times like this, right? But then he sees her downcast expression, and all of a sudden you see Oscar look back down as he realises that Ruby isn't going to speak up, because she's taking Jaune's critiscism the hardest out of all of them. And it settles in for him how much this is weighing down on her, because she's the leader, because she's always the one expected to have a plan or to know what to say, because she feels like she has a responsibility to live up to that image for all of them.

That this must be really hard on her too.

And we know this to be true when we later hear her confide in Maria:

"What am I supposed to tell Jaune and his team when we don't even have a plan?"

"I feel like I'm letting everyone down"

Before, Oz was considered the "Leader" of their whole group. But Oscar's trust in Ruby outweighed Oz's fear, which was why he fought for control against Oz and told Ruby how to use Jinn, because he believed and trusted in her more as a leader. And by entrusting her with that knowledge, gave her the means to make her own choice of what was right, and ultimately challenge and remove Oz from a position of leadership. And in v6 as Ruby has that role instead, she feels more responsible for their group, for their mission, than ever before, and in turn, in this scene here, Oscar feels responsible for Ruby and the burden they share.

(it's almost like Ruby and Oscar both share Oz as a foil and they're supposed to be better than him and learn from his mistakes which in turn inspires him to be better.)

"There is a rose... and I believe she has tamed me..."

“But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose...”

(the Little Prince)

And that's the reason why Oscar chooses to try to speak up in this moment to try and direct the attention on to himself instead, trying to defuse the tension of the situation after seeing how Ruby is struggling. Interesting is how he isn't moved to action by seeking inspiration and strength from Ruby alone as others are, but also finds the courage in himself to overcome his own fear and hesitation in a need to support her, in an attempt to alleviate the burden he sees weighing down on her.

Because she shouldn't have to always be seen and believed as the one who bears it. Not alone. Because no one should.

Gosh, it's not like one of Oscar's allusions is the Little Prince who learnt that the Rose was his responsibility to go back and take care of right?

*gestures at how Oscar ran away after his confrontation with Jaune and just so happened to come back wearing combat gear that is a very obvious nod to the Little Prince, as well as taking inspiration from Ruby's Mistral outfit and incorporating her red as his secondary colour, focused on Ruby's reaction, and how Ruby is literally referred to as "the Rose" by Tyrian in v4 and has a semblance that has her burst into rose petals*

Or the boy from the Warrior in the Woods who felt that someone should take care of the Warrior for a change, the way she had for everyone else for so long?

“You’ve spent all these years looking after us. I thought maybe it would be nice if someone looked after you for a change. Because that’s what I can do. Because no one else will"

(The Warrior in the Wood, Fairytales of Remnant)

No no, of course not, that's totally crazy.

[sukirichi]

— just the two of us

request: I almost read all of your jujutsu kaisen writings and I love it. Your writing is really good! I do not know if a request about a fics🥞 about satoru gojo who is really in love and not very possessive with an oblivious reader. It will be fun to see Satoru try to flirt with her and she doesn't get it🤣

pairings: gojo x oblivious! reader

notes: THIS IDEA IS SO CUTEEE I absolutely loved every second of writing it! thank you for the request and I hope you like this! 🥞 breakfast has been served!

word count: 3.3k

warnings: none, other than this is unedited and written humorously rather than seriously~

masterlist !

Gojo doesn’t know whether he’s lucky – or completely cursed – over the fact you’ve got no idea he’s so in love with you.

It’s a bright sunny morning, perfect for outdoor training, and he walks with you all the way to school with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. You stretch your arms out in the sky to bask in the morning glow and warmth of the sun, sleeves pushed up to your forearms to “get that vitamin D.”

Satoru snickers at your statement, because you’d totally be getting a different kind of Vitamin D if only you’d notice him. Sometimes he wonders, if maybe you’d inherited the Six Eyes instead of him, would you finally be able to see him – or would you still remain unaware?

He doesn’t even know where it began. A year ago, Yaga introduced you as the newest staff member. You’d been so fidgety and nervous then, unsure of what to do and worried if maybe the kids wouldn’t love. They did, of course, how could they not. Not only were you extremely fun to be with, you’re also caring, fretting and even crying whenever one of the students got injured over a mission.

Shoko reminds you all the time that this should be normal for you by now, but you always cry every time, sobbing that they’re still only kids and should be out having fun.

Yeah, maybe that’s where it began. Your kindness struck a chord in Satoru’s heart, and before he knew it, he was falling for you. Hard. Next thing you know, he shows up five minutes before you leave for work, mock-saluting you before inviting you to breakfast. He does this every damn day, and you still don’t get a single thing.

“That café was really good,” you muse, fingers stretching outwards and giggling as the sun peeks through the spaces. Satoru sighs beside you, wanting nothing more than to slip his fingers through those softer ones. ��We should go back there sometime. Maybe even take the kids with us this weekend so we can all have breakfast together!”

Satoru masks a snicker with a cough. It reminds him of the time Megumi called you mom and dad by accident, to which you happily responded with before tackling the boy in hugs, while the strongest jujutsu sorcerer only flushed in embarrassment.

Him being him though, Satoru played it off cool, flipping his hair before striking a pose. “Huh, a dad?” he smirks, “The only person who gets to call me daddy would be no one else but Y/N.”

The raven haired first year student immediately recoils in disgust. Meanwhile, the innuendo flies straight through you, and you peer up at him innocently with your head tilted to the side. “Daddy? Why would I call you my dad? My father is still alive and well, and I don’t see you marrying my mom or anything,” Just as Megumi nearly howls in laughter – another evidence that you’re really something else to get the usually stoic boy to lose his composure like that – you snap your fingers, the light bulb above your head practically shining. “Oh, I get it! You prefer younger women and you want them to call you that! Kind of like the hype for onii-chan nowadays.”

Hopeless, Satoru wants to say, you’re absolutely, utterly hopeless.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Satoru shrugs nonchalantly, sending a smirk your way. It usually drives everyone crazy, but you only smile back up at him in the same way you smile with everyone, and he tries his best to not show his shoulders are deflating. Nevertheless, he doesn’t give up. “How about you and I go out somewhere this weekend? The movies, perhaps?”

Say yes, say yes – please say yes.

Really though, he’s waiting for that ‘no’ already. Satoru knows you always go out of town during the weekends to visit your family in the countryside, only coming back on Monday the next week with a basket of fruits and traditional goods that isn’t so easy to find in the city.

But then you clasp your hands together in excitement, lashes fluttering delicately as you beam up at him. “Really? You’d like to go to the movies with me?”

“Of course I would,” Satoru tries not to stutter, hiding the fact that he’s completely taken aback. He’s the Gojo Satoru for heaven’s sake, he shouldn’t be this affected by anyone’s presence. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want to?”

“Oh, nothing, I just thought you were busy. This Saturday, then?”

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, it’s actually happening – his mind was barely functioning at this point, and he even slapped his cheeks to snap him back to life. “I thought there was a fly,” he lied with a chuckle, “But yeah, Saturday. I’ll pick you up?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Satoru wouldn’t stop smiling the whole way to the school. Even when Yuuji had face planted into the ground and Megumi sprained his ankle from training, he wasn’t able to get rid of the ridiculously big smile that stretched across his lips. He’s floating in cloud nine, flowers erupting from his ears and heart-shaped emojis bursting in his background.

“Well, you look creepy,” Shoko commented in the faculty room the moment you excused yourself, “Did you land a date with her or something?”

“That I did,” he stated proudly, even banging his fist on his chest like a deranged form of King Kong.

“I can only hope Y/N makes it out alive,” Nanami announces from behind the newspaper he’s reading, legs crossed over another before he peeks above the paper, narrowed eyes dead set on the blindfolded man. “Don’t be too wild with her, Satoru. She’s a gentle soul despite being a sorcerer – I humbly suggest you don’t mess with her feelings.”

“Are you kidding me? She’s the one messing with my feelings by being so fucking cute all the time!”

“Who’s cute?”

Shoko nearly spits out her coffee the moment you enter, glancing around the room and sitting down next to a shock-still Satoru. Nanami only huffs in his seat with a shake of his head. It doesn’t take long before Satoru regains his confidence and recovers from his shock – he’s turned to you with his torso completely facing your way.

You bask in the attention, mimicking the gesture until your faces are mere inches from one another. The fact you’re so responsive and attentive to him yet still painfully naïve strikes a mental war of himself debating whether he wants to kiss you or knock your head upside down. Satoru chooses neither options as he leans closer, his smile growing wider when you don’t pull away, and he doesn’t stop moving until his lips are right beside the shell of your ear.

“You’re cute.”

Shoko shudders at the same time Nanami just gives up on everything, folding his paper and lying that he’s got someplace to go with Ichiji. Satoru patiently waits for your reaction; for you to crumble this time around.

You’re silent for a moment, brows almost right across each other when you register his words. Satoru ends up holding his breath for your next words, wondering: is this it? will she finally understand what I feel for her now?

Even Shoko ends up sitting at the edge of her seat, silently watching the exchange with interest barely hidden in her sparkling eyes. Satoru watches as your lips open, his eyes transfixed on the way the soft flesh moves. They tilt upwards, revealing a set of a wide smile – the smile he can never get enough of. “Thank you!” you giggle at his compliment, “You and Shoko are very cute too! And the kids too, especially Toge! Not that I’m saying he’s my favourite—”

“He’s definitely your favourite student,” snorts Shoko who is ignoring the way Satoru turns completely gray beside you.

It turns out you still haven’t figured it out after all.

“The kids this – the kids that,” the tall, lanky man whines, his head falling back on the back of the leather couch. He looks so utterly defeated you can’t help but lean over him to check if he’s okay, but Satoru pouts and hides his face under his uniform instead. “Why can it never be just the two of us?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

This time, you’ve kneeled on the couch to hover him. You even pluck one side of his blindfold off to see how he’s doing, and suddenly thankful you can’t see the way his cheeks are absolutely flaming right now. 

“Nothing,” he assures, his smile hidden behind his shirt. You look absolutely adorable hovering over him like that – eyes wide and lips pouty – what he wouldn’t give to kiss those lips right now, but it isn’t the right time, and Satoru just needs to find a better way to tell you how he feels. “It’s nothing.”

It’s absolutely not nothing.

Saturday couldn’t come faster.

Satoru finds himself willing time to go faster. Once the awaited day finally comes, he wastes no time in choosing his best outfit; an oversized black shirt tucked into black skinny jeans before styling his hair up the way he likes.

He winks at his reflection in the mirror, going ooh and aah at how hot he looks. It’s another reason why he can’t comprehend why you don’t like him yet, when, uhm, he knows he looks damn good? He’s pretty funny too – and his strength and power is already a no-brainer. Satoru can’t wrap his head around any possible reason why you wouldn’t like him; it’s basically a life or death mission at this point.

With that end goal in his mind and a spritz of perfume later, Satoru sashays out his apartment. Even though it’s already dark outside and he spent the whole day walking back and forth in his room trying to come up with ways to confess to you, he acts coolly all the way to your apartment.

This time around, he’s more than confident. He’s going to have you wrapped around his pretty little finger, “Wow,” is the first thing he says, pulling his blindfold down just to look at you.

Satoru feels blessed in that exact moment to witness how the heavens took their time with you, creating only the best out of the best and birthing the most magnificent person ever. Suddenly, he grows an urge to run to the countryside and thank your parents for going funky one night and creating you, because you’re an absolutely magnificent gift and it really baffles him how you’re real.

“Wow,” he repeats again, and you chuckle when he shakes his head. “You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you look him up and down, smiling in satisfaction. “You look very handsome yourself.”

Satoru’s been called handsome a million times before that it’s gotten too much in his head already, but hearing it come from your lips hits different. If he was excited before, it’s nothing compared to what he feels now when you loop your arm through his, dangling off his arm like you were a lover.

He knows it’s not real and this is probably just a friendly date for you – something he intends to clear up later – but it doesn’t stop him from puffing his chest up a bit, almost as if bragging to everyone around you that he was the one you’re with, and that he was the one you’re going to the movies with.

All your babbles about everything goes straight into one ear and out the other. He wants to listen to you, he really does, but he’s so intoxicated with your voice that he just ends up nodding at everything you say; his attention mostly on how sweet you sound and smell.

His feelings only intensify a hundred times more when you finally make it to the theatre. Not only is it dark, but you’re sitting right next to him, arms and thighs brushing against each other. He takes note of every little movement you make, smiling to himself when you don’t pull away from his thigh flush against yours.

In this close proximity, your perfume overwhelms his senses. He finds himself leaning closer just to get a little more taste of it, his arm resting on the armrest beside him and placing his cheek on his open palm.

He doesn’t even know what the movie is about. All he can see, hear, feel and recognize is you – nothing and no one but you. Just as he wanted, it’s just the two of you.

Satoru reaches out to the bowl of popcorn in his lap to distract himself from the need of kissing you already. He was so smug that he’s on this date with you; now he feels like the world is laughing and mocking at him because you’re so close yet so far away. The last thing he wants is to say something weird and have you running for the hills. It’s clear you don’t like him, after all.

You end up reaching for it the same time he does, making your fingers brush. It sends a jolt of electricity down his spine and he immediately retracts it.

Looking up at him with an apologetic smile, Satoru knows he’s messed up. “I’m sorry,” you blurt out, raising your hands in surrender with a nervous chuckle. “I should’ve gotten my own bowl instead.”

Satoru stares at you through his blindfold. You’re close enough that he can count your lashes – both top and bottom row – and he’s so stupefied at this point that he just says the first thing that comes to his mind; absolutely anything just to get your attention. “Cold,” he shows you his hand, “I’m cold.”

“Oh,” you nod and slip your fingers through his. Satoru nearly gasps at how electrifying the sensation is from having your smaller, softer fingers collide with his, your hands fitting perfectly in his bigger, calloused ones. Then, you close your intertwined hands and smush your cheek with it to transfer your heat – completely unaware that Satoru feels like he’s floating in his own Infinite Void right now. “Feel warmer now?”

“Yes,” he replies. “Extremely.”

Something beast-like wakes within him after that. Now that he knows you don’t mind touching him at all, Satoru can’t help but want to take out all his playing cards and just go fuck it. So he does – and he might regret, he might not – who cares? It’s just the two of you, and you’re the only one he ever cares about this much that he’d pretty much let you do anything at this point.

“You know,” Satoru begins, shifting until your joined hands are resting on top of his chest. His heart is just about ready to burst through its confines at this moment, but he holds back. It’s now or never. “Shoko and Nanami are annoyed that I talk about you all the time.”

Your eyes widen at his statement. “Really? Do you talk badly about me or something?”

“No,” he nearly groans in frustration, “You’re really pretty and cool. You’re amazing during missions, too, when you fight, it’s like I’m witnessing a warrior princess. So cool.”

This makes you laugh until the person sitting behind you rudely shushes you. You bow your head in apology, turning to Satoru with a softer smile this time; one that looks reserved and private compared to your big grins. “Oh, no,” he closes his eyes even behind his blindfold, “Don’t smile at me like that. I don’t think I’ll still be cool if I end up stuttering over my words.”

“Satoru!” you whisper-hiss, although your chest is filled with so much giddiness too that you’ve both forgotten about the movie; unaware that the entire theatre was crying over the main character’s friend’s death. “What are you going on about?”

He wants to laugh so damn hard. He thought confessing his feelings for you would end up in a pitiful heartbreak that you’d be weirded out and push him away. For a moment, he forgets it’s you, and that nothing is ever difficult or painful with you – other than, of course, you being oblivious, but that isn’t something he can’t fix. He’ll get you on the train one way or another.

“I have a confession.”

“Yeah?”

“I was practicing how to ask you out for a whole hour in the mirror,” Satoru whispers, careful to not ruin the melancholic mood of theatre. It doesn’t even surprise him that his world is filled with nothing but sunshine even if the world around you has descended into grief and loneliness. “I also called Nanami on first date tips.”

“Nanami?” you echo with a gasp, “Why Nanami?”

“Because he’s married, that’s why. Mans know some tips for sure.”

“Wait, so,” you chuckle nervously, and Satoru waits, waits for you to pull away or push him back – anything that would indicate discomfort. He’s patient the whole time, watching carefully as you only squeeze his hand and gesture to the both of you with your free one. “This is a date? Our first date?”

“Only if you want to be,” Satoru shrugs, grimacing afterwards at how sappy he sounds. “Well, I actually consider this our first date and I’ve been waiting for this for like forever now, so I sure as hell hope you want this too. I didn’t dress myself up today only to come back home crying.”

Satoru’s heart – if possible – only beats crazier and sings the syllables of your name when you start laughing harder to the point you have to muffle it by burying yourself in his bicep. He feels like his muscles and nerves could erupt at any moment. It’s crazy – absolutely insane – how you have him wrapped around your finger like this. He doesn’t complain though; he never will.

“I’m glad,” you mumble through his shirt, your erratic heartbeat matching kiss when you take the first tentative step of kissing his jaw.

Satoru stiffens underneath you, a low growl ripping from his throat. He’s feral, wild, drunk at the sight and scent of you. You make him feel like he’s fluctuating between dimensions, all the planets just crashing on one another until the stardust is left in your eyes because what else could be an explanation for what he’s feeling other than a supernova collision of hearts?

“You always make me feel so happy when you’re around that I still can’t believe you feel the same way. I was so worried that maybe you wouldn’t get my hints.”

Satoru groans, “What the hell? How long have you liked me?”

“I guess when you started bringing flowers to Megumi randomly just to piss him off.”

Satoru wants to rip his hair out. That was just a few weeks after you’ve started working with him, meaning you both have liked each other this whole time and he’s been suffering and feeling stupid just for nothing?

“God, Y/N,” he mutters to himself, “You really do know how to make a man go crazy, huh?”

That innocent smile on your face lets him know that as usual, you’re oblivious of everything. Satoru is right; he still can’t decide whether he wants to whack you in the head upside down. With a sigh, he ends up choosing the latter, nearly falling over his seat when you let out a surprised yelp at the feeling of his lips on yours.

It doesn’t take long before you grab onto his shirt and cling to dear life, laughter bubbling through your lips as you kiss. The sound is so precious he wants to bottle it up and keep it treasure for the rest of his life, but Satoru doesn’t rush anything.

With you and only with you is he ever capable of feeling like it’s just the two of you in a world filled with chaos and destruction.

[mbat]

i keep thinking about book 14 and the crown thing at the end that can seem ridiculous if you take it at face value, but i dont think youre supposed to take it at face value

the icewing crown was enchanted by a past queen so that everyone who wore it afterwards would hate nightwings just as much as she did. at first that like, comes out of nowhere and sounds like. funny honestly. like okay, sure, okay. racism crown

but i personally believe its meant to be more symbolic than literal

this queen, queen diamond as we know, had lost her son to another tribe, she percieved it as him having been kidnapped, stolen from her and never returned, but because she couldnt accept the truth that her son had simply fallen in love with a dragon from that tribe and had run off with her. quite frankly, no matter the truth, losing your child and never seeing them again can be life changing, even traumatic.

im not excusing her actions of course, but rather trying to explain them and my own point

not to mention that they were primary royal line at this point, and on top of that were both the last animus dragons from a long, long line of animus dragons who the icewing tribe held near and dear for many generations. this decision her son made would change the whole world, but also would change her whole world.

she was definitely pissed about it, and would not dare let anyone forget. she ended up kidnapping and imprisoning the woman he ran off with for not only the rest of her own life, but for the 2000 years following long after her death. cementing how harshly she hated what happened, and hated a woman who simply fell in love with her son.

personally im not surprised she went a step further and enchanted the crown to drive the point into the ground.

with all that out of the way, the symbolism is clear to me. its the trauma and the hatred being passed down through the generations. she didnt want anyone to dare forget what happened, and they wouldnt for a long time. not until snowfall went on a journey that would change her own life, this time for the better, and she said a big ol fuck you to several icewing traditions all at once.

of course, she wasnt the first of her own generation of family to say fuck you to it all, her own sister and cousins all proved that, but especially in the way that winter released foeslayer and quite literally broke the way a tradition even functioned, and ended the long, long torture of the poor woman, and one of diamonds horrible ways of expressing her hatred for what happened.

but snowfall is a queen. a queen who wore that shitty little racism crown more often than literally anyone wanted aside from whatsername (tundra?) and her mind was racing with paranoia of not only her own tribespeople and other tribes, but especially of the nightwings.

it wasnt until she spent days not only with other dragons, but ending up as other dragons due to animus magic she foolishly decided to wear without knowing what it was (it was a good thing of course) that she was stripped of her debilitating paranoia for the most part, and saw how her own tribe traditions were only making it worse.

a cliff made to physically harm anyone who would try and enter the kingdom. a board that she literally had to change daily that insisted that certain dragons had to be better than eachother. and of course, a crown that was enchanted to make you hate certain dragons the way your ancestor did because she couldnt cope with her own circumstances a long, long time ago.

she looked around and saw a tribe that was long broken because of traditions people were terrified to touch, but she was sick of it all, and not only that, she wanted to be the best queen she could possibly be.

she broke the cliff wall, officially letting other dragons in. she broke the circles wall, refusing to trap anyone else in the hell of trying to be better than eachother (and of her having to stand in front of it every night miserably sorting people lol), and she broke the crown that was poisoned to make her and every other queen feel the hatred of someone long dead, literally or not.

she saw the best way to be queen as breaking traditions that her people held dear, but those traditions were only harming them in the long run. and on top of it, she broke a long held chain of generational hatred that she was never supposed to feel in the first place.

queen diamond couldnt cope with the loss of her son and she took it out on anyone she saw fit, and that meant even her own descendants* who had nothing to do with it that she would never even meet. thats like, the definition of generational trauma isnt it?

*(or rather her niece and who came after her)

so yeah, racism crown ha ha, but like... symbolic of generation trauma, and eventually the breaking of it and other things as breaking that chain and the traditions that upheld them.