#and being away from her at college out of state i feel guilty all the time that she feels abandoned by me

[carpathxanridge]

my sister just told my mom and i that she wants to join the military. i’m devastated i don’t even know what to do i need to talk to her but she’s not answering the phone. i know that she’s doing this because she wants a sense of purpose and hates her body and thinks the military will get her in shape and give her that purpose. i also know that she has endured so much early childhood trauma, emotional and verbal abuse from our father, and sexual trauma from being groomed as a young teen, and she probably is seeking a way to play out her traumas in an externalized way. i know her therapist is not trauma informed, is not and never has been equipped to help her, and probably hasn’t questioned her on her motivations behind this decision considering she told us immediately after coming out of a therapy session yesterday, as if her decision was made and she was being affirmed by her therapist to tell us. i don’t know how any mental health professional could encourage a currently minor child (though not for long, and that terrifies me, than in less than two months we have no control over her decisions, no way of protecting her…) to make such an irrevocable decision knowing all of their past trauma and history of suicidal ideation and self harm. and finally, i don’t know who my sister is if she’s someone who truly feels that the us military aligns with her morals. i hope she hasn’t put much thought behind it, because i can understand ignorance and susceptibility to propaganda, i won’t be able to understand it if she tells me that the military is an organization she wholly supports and aligns her values to.

[ashwhowrites]

Our secret

Dilf! Eddie x daughters friend reader!

⚠️smut, age difference, college age reader

Y/N knew the difference between right and wrong, and she knew sneaking around with her friend's dad was majorly wrong. But how could anyone blame her? He was smoking hot, the kind of guy that ages better with time.

The day she met him she was gone for him. The way his dark eyes landed on her, and the way his lips moved up into a smile as she walked in. Lucy introduced them, and he repeated her name. She shivered when she first heard her name roll off his tongue.

She and Eddie had been sneaking around for weeks. They were very cautious at first, trying their best to make it seem like nothing was happening between them. She tried to avoid his eyes and stay collected when she talked to him with Lucy around. Lucy's mom lived in a town over, apparently a messy divorce drove Eddie as far away as he could but still in the same state to see his daughter.

Y/N met Lucy in college, and they got paired for a project. She wouldn't say she and Lucy are best friends by any means, just college friends. At least that's what Y/N told herself so she felt less guilty crawling into Eddie's bed during sleepovers.

She wasn't sure exactly how old Eddie was, and she didn't care. If he wanted a pretty young thing on his arm she'd be glad to be her.

He was attractive and everyone around him knew that. Y/N couldn't count on her fingers the number of times she got jealous over a girl's number crinkled up in the trash in his bedroom. But then she enjoyed the way his used condom landed right on it.

They never spoke about what they were, and she wanted more than anything for it to be more than sex. She wanted all the parts of him. She wanted to know his childhood, his dreams, and everything that led him to where he was now. After sex, they lay together naked and tangled up, and he tells her all about those things. Then she'd kiss him goodnight and sneak into Lucy's room before she noticed.

~~~

"Hello, Mr. Munson," Y/N greeted as she walked in. A knowing smile on her face as Eddie looked up from the kitchen counter. He was working on bills, but now his attention was elsewhere.

"Hi, Y/N," he said, when Lucy turned to close the door he sent Y/N a sly wink. She tried not to blush as she took him in. He was wearing black sweatpants and a loose muscle tank. It was very loose and she could see the tattoos and scratches she left on his chest through the sides. She absentmindedly clenched her thighs when his eyes skimmed over her.

"Alright, let's go study," Lucy said, Y/N followed behind her, looking back to send Eddie a flirty look as she disappeared down the hallway.

Eddie caught himself leaning sideways to watch her, not moving his eyes until she was gone. He smiled to himself as he looked back down to his bills.

He tried to keep his mind busy from thinking about her. It was hard having her that close and not being able to grab her and feel her sweaty body against his. He shook his head to throw out the ideas, trying to focus on the numbers in front of him.

~

"Since it's Friday, do you want to stay the night?" Lucy asked, closing the book.

Y/N got excited at the thought, knowing it would be another night of sneaking into Lucy's dad's bed.

"Definitely! I'll run home quickly to get some clothes." Y/N said, "I'll be back in like thirty minutes?"

"Sweet, I'm going to shower."

Y/N waited until she went into the bathroom before she quickly walked down the stairs. She heard the water start running and knew she was in the clear. She crept into the kitchen, a pout on her face when she found it empty.

She gasped when she felt hands on her hips and her body being spun around. She caught her breath as Eddie stood there with a smirk.

"Looking for something?" he teased, his large hands warm on her waist. She smiled and placed her hands flat on his stomach, slowly moving up as she felt his hard chest.

"Lucy is in the shower, thought I'd ask if I could sleep over, Mr. Munson?" her voice was flirty and suggestive, already making Eddie's stomach clench with excitement. This girl had no idea the power she had over him.

"I don't know. Seems that when you stay over, you girls get a little drunk and get loud. An older guy like me needs some rest." He teased, moving his hand slowly down to grip her ass. She moaned as he massaged the skin. His voice was low as he whispered into her ear, "And I know you can get loud." She bit her lip as his hand came down and cracked against her ass, then he went back to massaging the skin.

She hated how fast she was already getting wet, and she knew he knew it. He had that knowing look in his dark eyes and a smirk on his face.

"I try my best not to be!" Y/N tried to defend herself, "Your cock is just too good," she soaked in the way he groaned and reached down to adjust himself through his sweatpants.

"Such a tease," he said as he clicked his tongue. She got too impatient, reaching up as she placed her lips on his. Her hands moved up his chest and held on to the back of his neck as he kissed her back.

He moaned as her tongue slipped inside his mouth, swirling around with his as he walked forward until she was pushed against the counter. She was quick to jump and Eddie wrapped her legs around his hips. Her fingers played with the hair near his neck, gasping for air as he pulled away to kiss down her neck.

"Fuck, Eddie, that feels so good," she moaned, his lips making their way down to her chest but she cupped his face. She pulled his head back up with a smirk.

"I do need to run home before she gets out of the shower."

"Are clothes that important?" He asked, wanting to kiss her again but she held his head still.

"It is," she giggled, she gave him a soft peck and then shoved him off. He watched as she jumped down and landed on her feet. "I'll be right back."

~

Y/N looked over her shoulder, Lucy was sound asleep as she began to snore gently in her ear. Y/N quietly snuck out of bed, grabbed her bag, and slipped out of the room. She tip-toed into the bathroom, shutting the door as silently as she could.

Eddie was lying in his bed, doing nothing but waiting for her to walk in. He kept eyeing the alarm clock, Lucy fell asleep at all different times so he was stuck not knowing when Y/N would come sneaking in.

He tried his best to keep his hands away from his growing cock, his mind already reeling with ideas. He heard a soft knock on his door and his body filled with excitement. He flicked on his lamp, and his door opened.

"Oh, fuck.." he whispered to himself, his eyes scanning her body head to toe. She wore a red lingerie set. The bra pushed her breasts up in a delicious way. He wanted to sink his teeth right into the perfect skin, mark her up, and prove she was all his. Then he took in her stomach, down to her thighs and legs. The tiny pair of panties covered barely anything, and he was memorized.

"You like?" she asked, closing the door behind her as she walked towards his bed.

If his cock wasn't hard enough, it definitely was now as he watched her climb on the bed and crawled towards him.

"Oh I fucking love," he growled, quick to push her body against his mattress, easily slipping on top of her. He leaned down and pressed his lips on hers, urgently. She moaned from how desperate his kiss was like he'd been waiting all night for this. She reached up to play with his hair, loving that some pieces framed around her head as he leaned further down.

His mouth was hot against hers as his hands went wandering. She felt them on her chest, stomach, thighs, and legs. She shuttered underneath his hard and strong body as his tongue explored her mouth. She gripped his hair as she grew more desperate and horny. She whined into his mouth once she felt his hard cock, which was covered by thin tight boxers, against the insides of her thighs.

She kept one hand in his hair, tugging on it the way he loved, and the other trailed down to where he needed her touch the most. She battled his tongue as she moved her hand teasingly down his chest, her nails softly working through his chest hair. Then down to his soft stomach, she could feel her fingers smoothing over his happy trail, inches away from his hard cock that was practically leaking.

She kept teasing, her nails scraping underneath his underwear band. He growled into her mouth, biting down on her tongue as a warning. She hissed as his teeth bit down, the pain easily turning into pleasure as he sucked on her tongue. He pulled away, breathing heavily, a string of spit connected their lips together. His eyes were dark with lust and she loved that it was all for her.

It was silent as he grabbed her hand which continued to tease his boxers. He stared deep into her eyes as he moved her hand down to his throbbing and aching cock. She looked down to watch as he used her hand to palm himself, loving the way his hips bucked forward.

"Be daddy's good girl and touch him, got that?" He demanded, his voice low and stern. She moaned at his words, happily obeying as she took mercy on him and took his cock out of his boxers. Eddie sighed in relief as his cock met the air, and her warm hand wrapped around him.

"Like that, Daddy?" she purred, lifting her head up as she gazed into his eyes. She batted her eyelashes at him and pouted out her lips.

"Just like that," he moaned, leaning down to kiss her. She kept her hand moving around his cock and kissed him back. Eddie melted into her touch and kiss. Her hand worked so well on his cock, making him bite down on her lip. She knew how to touch him in ways he swore he never felt before. Not even his ex-wife whom he was with for years ever made him feel like this.

Eddie pulled away from the kiss, moaning as her hands sped up.

"Buy this for me?" Eddie asked, his hands tracing the bra strap slowly. He felt special that she wanted to look pretty for him, and he hoped he was the first and only one to see her in it.

"I went to the mall yesterday," Y/N smiled, feeling beautiful by the way his eyes soaked her in. "Saw it and knew I had to wear it for you."

"I'm glad you did. I love it so much" Eddie said through heavy breaths, her hands around his cock making his brain melt.

"Then why am I still wearing it?"

The words snapped something inside of him. She moaned when he tore the underwear off of her, her bare cunt hitting the cold air. He stood up, her touch leaving his skin. He kicked off his boxers and grabbed a condom, her eyes watched his every move. She reached forward and ripped the condo wrapper with her teeth, Eddie stared as she slipped the condom on his red and hard cock. She leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to his tip, making Eddie smile at her lovingly and a light-hearted laugh.

"You drive me crazy," he whispered as he leaned down. He gave her a slow kiss as his hands reached behind her to unclip her bra. He tossed it to the floor, his lips still attached to hers.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Then she felt him slip inside of her. She gasped against his mouth, breaking the kiss, his thickness stretching her open. No matter how many times they had sex, it always felt like the first time. He moaned as he thrusts inside of her, the feeling of her wet walls clenching around him made him shudder.

"Fuck I love fucking this pussy. You always feel so damn good," he moaned, his head dropping to her shoulder as he pushed himself as far as he could inside of her.

She clawed at his back as he sped up, his words making her clench tighter around him.

"You always fuck me so good," she cooed in his ear, her eyes rolling in the back of her head.

Eddie groaned in her ear as he sped up, his left hand moved up to grip the headboard. Y/N loved the way his balls smacked against her skin and the echos of their moans filled the space. They knew to be quiet, both trying their best to silence the screams they desperately wanted to let out.

"Fuck, babe. Already getting me close," the handjob from before and the way she was milking him.

"Yeah? Am I going to make you cum?" she asked, she moved her hand to grip his chin. She forced him to look right at her, he used his left hand to hold her hip as he drilled into her. Then used his right to rub circles on her clit.

"Oh god," she whined, keeping her grip on his chin so she could watch him fall apart as he emptied himself inside of her.

"Cum for me, Eddie," she instructed

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as he chased his orgasm, keeping his fingers focused on her clit. He was a skilled man with years of practice, he knew how to work them both through it.

He was fast to bite down on her shoulder as he came inside the condom. He gave a few shuddered and sloppy thrusts as he worked through his orgasm.

He pressed kisses to the mark his teeth left behind. He slowly slipped himself out of her, keeping his eyes on her.

He took off his condom and tossed it in the trash

"I didn't forget about you, gorgeous." He smirked as he grabbed her legs and put them over his shoulders. She covered her mouth with her hand as his tongue swirled her clit and he shoved three fingers inside of her.

She used her other hand to grip his curls as he sucked on her clit. She could feel her stomach tightening as his fingers slipped in and out of her.

"Eddie," she moaned, her stomach feeling tight. His mouth worked perfectly on her clit as she yanked his hair.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum all over me." He said as he pulled his mouth away for a moment. Then he went back to sucking her clit as hard as he could.

She accidentally let out a loud moan, Eddie was quick to cover her mouth as she continued to moan into his palm. Her thighs shook as she felt herself cumming, Eddie kept his lips and fingers in place as he looked up to watch her. Her back arched and he fought to keep his hand on her mouth to silence her sounds.

He worked her through her orgasm, pulling away slowly as her body came down from its high.

Eddie sucked his fingers clean and moved up her body. A pleased smile on his face as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

~~~

Eddie pulled up to the campus, putting his car in park as he waited for his daughter and Y/N to walk out.

He looked when his passenger door opened, and Lucy jumped in the seat. But Y/N wasn't behind her.

"Y/N coming? Or does she have another ride?" Eddie asked, hoping his question sounded like a dad question.

"She's coming, just talking to Jake." Lucy said as she buckled her seat belt

Eddie gripped the steering wheel as he felt jealousy run through him. "Who's that?"

Then he saw her and he guessed Jake walking towards the car.

"Some guy that has been after her for weeks." Lucy shrugged. "He's pretty cute."

"He's alright," Eddie said as he rolled his eyes. He tried to hold back his growl as Jake placed his hand on her back.

The back door opened and Eddie could hear the ending of the conversation.

"Don't be afraid to reach out and call me. And I'll see you Friday at the party." Jake said as Y/N slid into the car.

"Alrighty. Bye Jake," Y/N said, trying her best to sound polite as she closed the door.

"Hi, Mr. Munson," Y/N said, a smirk playing on her glossy lips. But he didn't say anything, he just started to pull away. Y/N tried to ignore the pain she felt as he ignored her but moved past it.

The car was pretty quiet, it was clear Eddie was annoyed with something but Y/N didn't know what. She said goodbye as she got out of the car as he pulled into her driveway.

~

She waited until it was later in the evening to call him, but he didn't answer. She tried a few times, but he never picked up.

She shrugged it off and moved on for the night. Trying to catch some sleep.

~~~

She hadn't gotten to talk to Eddie in two days. He never picked up when she called and the few times she was over at his house, he was gone.

She felt like he was avoiding her and it pained her.

It was Friday night and she knew she wasn't going to the party. She already planned to bail out, knowing Lucy had other friends at the party to look out for her. She planned to sneak over to see Eddie since Lucy would be gone for hours, but she wasn't sure if she would be welcomed.

But she also wanted to see him, so she showed up anyway.

She knocked on the door, knowing he was home as his car was parked in the driveway. She smiled as he opened the door, a beer in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his eyes slightly heavy, telling her he had been drinking for a while.

"I wanted to see you. What's wrong?" She asked as she walked through the door.

"Thought you wanted to see Jake," Eddie said, slightly slurring his words as he closed the door. He turned around to face her, watching as she stepped forward and held his face in her hands.

"Are you drunk?" She asked, her eyes examining his face.

"Why aren't you with Jake?" He asked, his voice starting to sound angry as he pushed her hands off of him.

"Because I don't want to be! I'm here with you. You wouldn't answer my calls and you were gone the times I came over. I'm worried about you." She explained, her eyes soft.

"I'm a grown man, you don't need to be worried about me." He scoffed, walked past her, and walked into the kitchen. She was close behind, watching as he grabbed another beer.

"Eddie, talk to me. Why have you been avoiding me?" She asked. He cracked open the beer and took a long sip.

"I've just been busy," he shrugged. But they both knew it was a lie. He felt pathetic, to be honest. Here he was drinking his sorrows away all because he was jealous. Jealous over some guy, some stupid college boy. A boy that was years younger than him made him that insecure. But also made him angry. He didn't have a right to be jealous because Y/N was never labeled as his.

"If you don't talk to me, I'm going to leave." She threatened. "Tell me what's wrong, what's wrong with us?" She asked, softly removing the beer from his hands and setting it on the table.

"Doors right behind ya," he said, grabbing the beer from the table and taking another sip.

"Eddie, stop," she pleaded, she tried not to let her emotions show but she was getting nervous. She didn't want to leave and she didn't want him to want her to leave.

"Jake's probably waiting for you," he spat, roughly hitting her shoulder as he walked past her. He was heading for his bedroom and she was quick to follow.

"Can you act like a fucking adult? Are you jealous of Jake or something?" She asked

He stopped in his tracks, his body slightly hitting hers as she didn't expect to stop.

"Jealous of what? As far as I'm concerned we fuck and that's it. So if you want to screw college boys, I could care less."

"It seems like you do care. That's why you are acting like a damn teenager!" She fought back.

"Trust me, I don't care enough about you to care." He growled, but as the words left his lips he felt the immediate regret. "I didn't mean that"

Y/N scoffed and turned around. Heading for the front door but now Eddie was quick to follow her, grabbing her arm and pressing her against the wall. His beer was forgotten and shattered on the floor.

"Baby, you know I didn't mean that. I'm sorry." He pleaded, his breath strong of liquor.

She pushed him off, a ball of anger in her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm here with you" a finger stabbed into his chest, "I don't like Jake nor would I ever like anyone else. I've committed myself to you for months. Yeah, he asked me out, did I go? Hell no because I wanted to be with you. But maybe I should have gone with him, at least then I'd be with someone who cared more about what's between my legs." She spat as she shoved his chest and opened up the door.

"Y/N, wait just stop." He said as he chased after her. But she slipped into her car. He begged her through the window as she started her car.

"You're right. I'm acting like a child and I'm so fucking sorry. Can you please come inside so we can talk?" He begged

"You had your chance to talk," she said, then she reversed out of his driveway.

~~~

It was as if the script flipped. Eddie spent hours trying to call her, but none were answered. He didn't blame her, he was an idiot and said shit he didn't mean.

He hadn't heard from her all weekend. Now it was Monday and he just wanted to see her.

He sat up as the front door opened. He smiled as Lucy walked in, and his heart sped up when Y/N walked in behind her.

"Hi Dad," Lucy greeted as she took off her shoes.

"Hi, and um hi Y/N," Eddie said, his voice a little nervous.

She didn't say anything, just smiled. Eddie watched as they made their way up to Lucy's room. He desperately wanted Y/N to look over her shoulder but she never did.

~

Hours passed and Y/N was packing up to go home. She didn't plan to sleep over for a while, the sting was too fresh.

She was glad she drove to school today so she didn't have to ask Eddie to drive her home. She said goodbye to Lucy and walked downstairs. Eddie didn't seem to be around, which she was thankful for.

She made it out the front door and felt relieved. But then she looked up and saw Eddie leaning against her car.

"Not letting you leave until we talk," he said, his arms crossed. She rolled her eyes and hated the way his arms were distracting.

"We can't talk right here, Lucy could easily see us," Y/N said, hoping her argument would get him to leave.

"Fine, let's go for a drive," he said, walking over to the passenger side.

She mumbled some words and unlocked the car. She was silent as they got in, starting the car and reversing out. She drove a little bit down the street and then pulled off to the side.

"I don't understand what you want from me," she said honestly. "The sex is good, our conversations are good. And this whole time I believed it was going to lead to something real, something more than sex. And then you get jealous and tell me you don't care about me."

Eddie nodded as she repeated his words back to him. And now that he was sober, he realized just how stupid he truly sounded.

"Look, I was talking stupid and acting immature. I was jealous and I got drunk. Then I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"You aren't supposed to be stupid and immature! You're older, Eddie. You're a fucking man and you treated me just like every boy I've ever met. You're supposed to know better and you're supposed to know how to treat me and not..." She sniffled as she felt herself tearing up. "Not break my heart."

She felt his warm hand land on her thigh and he squeezed it gently. She turned to look at him, a tear rolling down her face. He gently wiped it away.

"You're right, and you've always been right. And I hope you can believe me when I say that I want more than sex. I want to be together and go on dates. I want to take you out and have a relationship that exists outside of my house. I have strong feelings for you and I'd like to make this up to you." He spoke with such care and regret. She would have believed him if he lied, but she felt like he really meant it. His eyes held so much emotion and his hand shook her thigh.

"You sure you want this? I want a real relationship, with trust, loyalty, and commitment."

"I want everything with you," he said without missing a beat. "I want you." He said softly as he leaned in.

"You have me," she said, pressing her lips against his.

~~~

After that night things were moving forward. In no way were they going to tell Lucy yet, but they began to go on dates. Do things that normal couples do. Since they admitted their feelings for each other the sex got better, making it harder to keep quiet and make it fast. They started checking into hotel rooms, allowing themselves to spend the night together wrapped in each other's arms.

~

"You ever been here before?" Eddie asked as he pulled out her chair.

Y/N looked around the small bar, a live band playing on stage.

"Never!" Y/N said, watching as he stood at the table.

"I'll tell you a secret," he said, leaning down, his face inches from hers. "I used to play here in high school with my band." He smiled as her eyes lit up.

"You were in a band?" she asked in awe

"I was. Let me grab you a drink and I'll tell you all about it," Eddie said, pressing a kiss to her lips.

She felt like she wanted to kick her feet as he walked up to the bar. The feeling of being out in public together still made her heart race. She loved being his girlfriend and being where people could see it.

The band ended and a group of applause bounced off the walls, catching her attention slightly.

By the time she looked back at Eddie, a girl was softly touching his hand that rested on the bar.

Y/N squeezed her eyebrows together as she stared at them, the girl seemed to be older maybe around his age. Eddie moved his hand, putting it in his pocket.

But it seemed like the girl didn't want to give up there. She was moving in, her body pressed against his.

Y/N slid out of her chair, walking confidently towards her boyfriend.

"I'd advise you to back up," Y/N sneered as she crossed her arms. Eddie looked relieved and the girl glared at her.

"Who are you? An overprotective daughter?" The girl scoffed. Y/N rolled her eyes, she couldn't believe how much these older people still acted like immature teenagers.

"Girlfriend, so back the fuck off," Y/N said, pushing the girl's shoulder lightly. The girl stepped back and smiled.

"Understood," she said as she walked away.

"Daughter? Do I look that old?" Eddie joked, throwing his arm around Y/N's shoulders.

"I think I just look that young," Y/N teased back

"Let's go drink and have fun," Eddie said, "Enjoy our date."

Y/N smiled and they went back to their table. They don't have all the future details figured out, but they have each other right now and that's all that matters.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunsonmain @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

[sytoran]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟎𝟎𝟖 — 𝐓𝐈𝐓-𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆

kinktober day 008 | milf!natasha x beefy!amab!reader

your wife thinks you've been acting a little off lately. she tries possible solutions to lighten your mood, but eventually it comes down to the 'hard' truth that you wanna fuck her tits.

cont. reader has a cock, teasing, possessiveness, praise word count. 951

kinktober masterlist || main masterlist

"Okay, that's enough."

Natasha states firmly, folding her arms as she looks you over. Despite being married for nearly three years and having two kids, Natasha's finding it hard to understand you now.

You've been off the whole day, constantly looking disappointed and guilty. There's this nagging feeling in the back of Natasha's mind that tries to coerce her into assuming the worse, but she knows better than to let those voices take over her.

"It's nothing," you try to mumble, shying away from your wife's insistent gaze. Your eyes are anywhere but Natasha, flickering, and she swears you're flustered.

It's strange. For someone usually so headstrong and confident, it's definitely bizarre to see you acting like this.

"Tell me what's wrong baby, please," Natasha tries again, trying the gentler approach, pressing a hand on the side of your face, trying to make you turn your head to face her.

It only seems to make things worse, you desperately trying to back away and Natasha trying to move closer.

Just by your luck, the back of your leg knocks into the sofa in the midst of your escape, and you stumble. Natasha catches your wrist, attempting to suspend you and prevent the fall, but you end up pulling her down with you anyway.

That's how you end up laying on the sofa with your wife on top of you, her knee unintentionally pressing into the prominent bulge between your legs, now brought into the limelight.

There's silence for a moment, and you want to crawl into a hole and die, but your wife only lets an amused smirk grow on her face.

She lets a hand trail over the tent in your pants, lightly, and you shudder, letting out a hollow exhale.

"Why were you… embarrassed to tell me?" Natasha asks, cautiously, eyeing the ever-rising boner in your pants. She can’t help the warmth slowly rising between her legs.

You look away ashamedly, before woefully admitting your remorse. "Well, I thought you didn't want to like, have sex anymore. I mean, we've had two kids, and you're always busy, and you- I mean, you never seem to like, initiate it, or whatever. Not like we used to.” your mumbling nearly goes unheard, but Natasha’s keen ears prick up every word.

She tilts her head in a concerned fashion. “Baby, we have children in the house! I can’t just jump your bones every hour of the day like we used to when we were in college.”

"Yeah, I know. This was stupid,” you sigh, more so disappointed in yourself than anything. You lift yourself up from the sofa. “I'm sorry for worrying you, baby. You don't have to-"

Before you can even finish your sentence, Natasha’s pulled off your pants in record timing, hands encircling your thick, throbbing cock. All the air is knocked out of you, as you’re pushed back onto the sofa, and you’re quite sure your heart stops beating for a few moments.

“Nat? What are you- what are you doing?” you question lowly, biting back a gasp when your wife begins to rub her hands up and down your shaft through your boxers.

“Just because I haven’t said it, doesn’t mean I don’t want you inside me, dorogoya.” Natasha grunts, tugging off her own sleeping shorts. “the kids are sleeping upstairs, so everything’ll be fine if we’re quiet. anything you want in particular?” she asks, casually.

Noting the sudden change in the glint of your eye, Natasha smirks, knowing she had a definite answer.

“Shit. I- uh, I’ve kinda had three wet dreams about fucking your tits.” you confess, looking up hopefully into your wife’s viridescent eyes.

Her eyebrows raise. You chuckle awkwardly. Your cock, is still embarrassingly hard.

Before you know it, your wildest dreams have been fulfilled. Natasha is now pinned down under you, chest now exposed to the cool night air. your cock is stuffed in the valley between her tits.

You’re just so obsessed with them, because they’re hers. Soft mounds, so easy for you to wrap your bigger hands around and press kisses all over. As much as you love the little rascals that are you and Natasha’s children, you can’t help but miss the days when you could casually lift up her shirt and absent-mindedly play with your wife's breasts like stressballs.

But now, in the heat of the moment, with Natasha holding her tits and rubbing them up and down your long cock, you can’t quite formulate any coherent thoughts.

You pin down your wife’s sides after a few more minutes of rubbing. “You’re so good for me, sweetheart,” you groan out, beginning to thrust between her tits, slow and deep.

The edge of your cock peeks out at the top of her mounds with each thrust, and it takes everything in Natasha not to moan out loud. She didn’t think she’d be so turned on by this, by your hazy eyes lost in lust, staring at your cock disappearing between her tits.

You get rougher, unknowingly, hypnotised by the way Natasha’s tits shake. Your pre-cum gets smeared all over her tits, and you’re just about to lose it completely.

When Natasha presses a kiss onto the head of your cock, when it emerges through her breasts one last time, you come undone with a long groan, lost in hallucinogenic pleasure.

Your seed goes all over your wife’s ample assets: her pretty tits, her mouth and her face. Natasha smiles breathlessly, looking at you with glittering eyes. She’s so innocently licking off all the cum at the tip of your cock.

“Sorry for acting like a prick, Nat. I love you.”

“Mhm, I’ll forgive you if you do that more often.”

kinktober masterlist || main masterlist

[angelcakestarlet]

salvatore

richie jerimovich x reader - richie makes carmy regret hiring the cute young waitress

wrote dis quick, messy, nd did not look over it but enjoy! :>

"so um look, natalie is going to be training you this week alright" carmy informs you as he sifts through a pile of papers scattering his desk. "you ever serve before?", "for a few months yeah, it's been getting me through college so" you twiddle your thumbs nervously. the restaurant was certainly... intimidating? going to school in chicago you had stopped by a couple times for lunch or drunk off your ass after the club. even while slurring your words you could remember how fucking good that sandwich was. even if most of it was puked up in the bushes out front.

"yo, cousin!" an abrasive voice comes stumbling through carmy's office door without warning, "sugar is out here telling me some bullshit about you hiring servers? look we don't need that shit. a sandwich comes out i fucking hand it to them, boom. why are you gonna pay some dipshit to do it for me?". you turn around to face the loud voice, being met with a tall, tan, buzzcut typical line cook with a deep accent. "jesus fucking christ, one of these 'dipshits' is standing in front of you richie." carmy yells back, obviously pained to have you witness that. "ah shit-" richie steps back to get a full length view of you, taking you in. his gaze felt like an intrusion. "i'm sorry, doll, richie jerimovich." he envelopes your hand in his calloused and rough one, introducing himself. "you know what i'm sorry, cousin, anyone with a set of eyes would hire her too" he snickers, with his hand still atop yours he takes his eyes away from you to acknowledge carmen. "cousin, get the fuck out, you fucking creep!" signaling for the door. "oh my god" richie sighs dramatically, "i'm stating the fucking obvious alright, you need marcus to come in here to tell you the same thing? yo, marcus!" carmen rushes to shove richie out the door, "i'm sorry, i couldn't help myself! look, you're beautiful, sweetheart!" he lets out one last compliment. you giggle to yourself and the man making a spectacle of himself.

carmen shuts the office door and sighs, rubbing his forehead with his tired hand. "i'm sorry, he's... he's a fucking jagoff." you appreciate the apology, but having worked in a restaurant has you accustomed to the snickers and comments from line cooks and customers alike. most of the girls usually brush it off, leaving them disgusted and a distaste for the job for the next few hours. but, your guilty pleasure has become using it to your benefit. free food from cooks, more money from tips, etc. you're sure you could work richie to your benefit just the same. "don't worry about it, he seems... nice" your ease settles carmy and he snickers, "you could say that i guess".

you follow natalie around the restaurant for the next few hours as she takes you through the front of the house and back, introducing you to everyone and all the standards. when five o clock hits, she lets you go, handing you an apron, a t-shirt. and a name tag. thanking her and setting out to find the back alley for a quick ciggy. you find richie lighting a cigarette in the dimly lit alley, "can i bum a cigarette?" you sit down beside him, smelling the smoke clinging to his shirt. "its your first day and you're asking me for shit?" he looks over at you and you notice his evident wrinkles, veins in his neck, and tired eyes. "pretty please?" you look up at him, turning your whole body to face him with a sweet smile on your face. he rolls his eyes playfully, "you know what you're doing huh?" he says as he pulls one more cigarette from its box. "open." you scrunch your eyebrows, confused at his request. his eyes shift to your lips, taking two fingers and tapping your cheek signaling for you to open your mouth. "come on," you separate your lips and he places a cigarette between them, lighting it swiftly. you feel your cheeks get warm, from the cigarette or from his words you don't know (yes you do). "thank you" you say quietly, still stunned a bit. "you know you're gonna ruin that sweet face smoking" he coughs through the lit cigarette. "oh are you telling me what to do now, richie?" you lean back, eyes entranced by the way his hands make the cigarette almost look like a lollipop stick. "a girl like you is probably looking for someone to tell her what to do, sweetheart". as you're trying to figure out whether that just pissed you off or turned you on, carmy bursts through the back door. "cousin, what the fuck are you doing?! we need you in the kitchen, now please! and leave the new girl alone, jesus" carmy yells as richie stomps on what's left of his cigarette and puts his hands up in defense. "i'm coming, fuck off. it was a pleasure, babe" he shakes your hand and makes his way inside. you peer at the closed door, listening to the muffled argument carmy and richie have in front of it. great first day.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

I mentioned in a reblog thing that I'd wanted to make a Rise comic series called "ROTTMNT: UNPAUSED" and I hinted to one of the finale episodes being called "Mikey's Birthday Bash"

Well I'm gonna infodump about that now...

So basically the episode started off with Mikey waking everyone up for a special breakfast to celebrate his bday, only to discover that not only did his brothers forget his bday, they all made plans of their own. To quickly make up for it, the guys take him into the Hidden City for a quick shopping spree before they all have to leave for their engagements. While Mikey is looking for something to buy, he overhears his brothers conversing about how in the next year, Raph won't be a TEENAGE mutant ninja turtle anymore (he is 17 currently). Donnie adds that he is already looking for colleges to join and hopes for an early admission. Leo also admits he has been planning for the future. Mikey realizes that his brothers are all planning to leave and grow up, which he is not ready for. He runs away crying, and meets a strange old hag who sells him a "special" birthday candle, which she promises will grant his biggest birthday wish.

Mikey finds his bros again and uses the candle on a meager cupcake they got for him. As soon as he blows the candle out, the four are transported into a version of the Battle Nexus, trapped there along with every other character from the show (and my comics) by the hag who sold Mikey the candle. She reveals that Mikey's wish was for "everyone to spend my birthday together", and the only way for them to escape is for the turtles to win the tournament! The bros are furious at Mikey for making the wish, and Mikey promises to get through the games as quickly as possible so they can get back to their plans and leave.

The hag states that the turtles will be pitted against their previous enemies, and with each round they win they'll will receive more allies. Anyone KO’d will be eliminated from the round and sent to watch in the audience, and upon the ending of the game all contestants will be returned to their last location. The enemies will get progressively more challenging until they defeat all of their opponents.

Round 1, April is with the guys, and they are up against Baxter Stockboy, Albearto, and the Purple Dragons.

Round 2, the Casey Joneses join the fight against the Foot Clan.

Round 3, Draxum, Splinter, Big Mama, and the two missing siblings hinted at by the writers join against the evil league of mutants and the Mud Dogs. April is KO’d after getting slammed into a wall and knocked unconscious by Heinous Green. Cass is KO’d by Hypno after he hypnotizes her to knock herself unconscious as well. Draxum is KO’d by Meat Sweats after he steals his power.

Round 4, Several characters (such as Agent Bishop and Mona Lisa) join to fight against the Triceratons (which were introduced in my series). During this round, everyone is K.O.'d except the turtles. However, Mikey sees that he didn’t finish the battles in time and his brothers have missed their appointments. He feels guilty, and his brothers are admittedly irritated.

Round 5, the final boss battle. They are pitted against the Shredder and the Kraang. Before the fight begins, Mikey has a blowout with his brothers and finally admits that he was angry they were gonna leave because he was scared of growing up, as he is not ready to be an adult yet and he doesn’t want to be alone. The Kraang interrupts stating “I can help you with that” and captures Mikey. However, the Turtles get one last team member… Karai. The Shredder -- having been defeated and Oroku Saki redeemed -- turns against the Kraang and sides with the Turtles and his daughter. The boys defeat the Kraang using the special formula from the movie, but not before the Shredder and Karai are K.O.'D by the Kraang. The Kraang are defeated with the last of the mixture, but to the boys' horror they see that Mikey was kraangified, and now have to fight against him as their last opponent. They try, but are unable to defeat him due to his increased strength AND his ninpo. Leo refuses to admit defeat, saying “Mikey never gave up on me… I can’t give up on him.” He tries one last attack, grappling with Mikey and holding him down...

I happened to make sketches of what came next...

The game finished, everyone is returned home. Mikey apologizes for everything, but Raph admits that he isn’t ready to grow up yet either, and he never wants to leave Mikey alone. He found out the hard way what that felt like, and the brothers agree to wait a little longer to grow up and enjoy being the teenage mutant ninja turtles while they can. Back at the lair, everyone bursts in to make sure Mikey is okay. They spend the rest of the day with him, enjoying his birthday...

So yeh that's that

[redhead-batgal]

Type: Two-Shot (Part Two: Here)

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Damian Wayne/ Robin

Word Count: 8,605

Content: Bad y/n family, self-depreciative thoughts, language, violence, a little bit of gaslighting, angsty times, (a tiny bit of venting), "good" coping/reactions, tiny bit of batfam slander and aged up reader/Damian to 18yrs.

(P.S: I may or may not have another part planned that will make all of this make more sense but like it works fine as it is if y'all like it on its own)

Y/N: your name, V/N: Vigilante name, S/n: Sister's name, Favorite Color: f/c

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Family is supposed to be one of the most cherished and important things in life. They are supposed to support and love you; they are supposed to make you feel safe and happy. They are supposed to lift you up and help you know that despite your flaws you are loved, wanted and cherished.

And yet, yours never did.

Born the middle child you were quickly forgotten. Especially since your younger sister captured everyone's attention. Captivating every person who passed it seemed as if she had some kind of aura that pulled others in.

It seemed as if she was good at everything and nothing you could ever do would even make you half the person she was. She was kind, and friendly, wickedly intelligent and charismatic. A perfect person some would say, and it made you feel like utter shit for not being able to do a third of what she could.

Maybe that was why you turned to a life of vigilantism. Maybe you hoped that doing good, even with no thanks for it, would help you feel worth... something. Worth anything. That even though only you would know, you would be able to burn at a fraction of light your sister burned at. Helping others, saving people merely because they needed help and making a difference made you feel... alive.

But your sister was still there. She was still shining and bright, happy to steal any friend or crush you ever had. Or at least that's the way it seemed, the way her eyes would glint as she laughed twirling her hair chatting with your friends. A vengeful look spilling from them. But she always shed tears upon seeing your distraught face, she seemed to feel guilty though you felt a hidden smile behind her tears.

Sisters are sisters, your parents would say, she will be mean and tease you, but you will always love each other.

You began to wonder if all of it was a lie to make you feel as if she cared about you when it was clear she didn't. She seemed to hate that you had become content that you were different then her, that you proudly held your head high as people pointed out your differences. But she didn't know the way you truly felt. It was strange, she was so perfect that you were jealous, but jealousy was a nasty color on anyone. And you had heard too many times that you were selfish and self-centered to let others know how you truly felt about her.... well, some people knew.

Your partner, Damian Wayne- the mother fucking Robin, knew how you felt. He was your best friend after all, he knew all of your secrets and deepest feelings and wishes as you knew all of his. Ever since you had moved to Gotham and decided upon some extracurricular nighttime activities, only to be caught and brought in by Batman; your life had gotten a bit better. Your sister was miles away in your home state living a happy and pampered life as she went to college while living with your parents.

Regardless, it was hard to forget such emotions- to remove them completely. In fact, it was harder to forget how you were treated since you were so much freer. You were unhindered by your family's expectations and your sister's growing shadowing which you were so used to living in.

Now out of that shadow- out of sight of the throne your parents constantly put your sister on you were better able to see that she wasn't perfect at all... well at least she wasn't as nice and kind as she seemed to be. Away from your childhood home you were able to see all the jabs, torment, disparagement and diminishment you received from her. How she would mock your accomplishments and steal away those who helped you rise passed your insecurities regarding your place against hers.

It seemed whenever you got enough footing to climb out of her shadow, she'd push and knock you back to the depths of it.

You had, as many do, told your best friend of such revelations. But, as humans do, you made it clear that your thoughts probably had bias. An accumulation of years of neglect and belittlement made it hard to be sure what you felt was the truth. Which made it even harder to convince Damian you were right, but you didn't mind fighting such a battle if it meant someone else could see the sister the way she truly was... or at least the way you saw her.

"Ugh," You groaned tilting your head back as you turned your phone off leaning against the gravel covered rooftop, "Miss Perfect is at it again."

Across from you, Robin raised his head. His face stony as he scoffed looking around once again, doing the job you were supposed to be doing at the moment, patrolling.

Silence beat between the two of you and you rolled your eyes, swirling into a somersault before bounding over towards him. He stayed quiet and you began walking circles around him.

Throwing your voice down at least three octaves you spoke again, "And what exactly did that horrendous sister of yours do this time?"

Robin blinked at this, pausing before turning to you, his facade finally cracking as he lifted an eyebrow.

"What exactly was that supposed to be?"

You grinned leaning in a bit closer to him before batting your eyes and replying, "My impression of you being a caring friend and contributing to this important conversation."

This time the corner of his mouth twitched as he hesitated. Then he turned eyes scanning the horizon. You shrugged accepting the small victory as you slid into a perch your back pressed against his.

"I'm going to just keep talking and if you don't respond I'll respond for you, okay?"

He grunted in reply, and you took that as a yes before leaning your head, so it rested against the back of his shoulder.

"S/N found the old diary we shared and posted pictures of some entries on all of her socials. Entries- selective, that only I wrote- embarrassing entries."

Silence beat once again between the two of you and you took that moment to take up your impersonation once again.

"Do you think it was involuntary? Or that she had a particular reason for doing such an atrocious thing?"

You felt Robin's body tremble and twitch as he shifted, and his chest shook. Smiling softly, you looked up at the night sky, partially missing the thousands of stars you could see back home.

"No, I think she did it on purpose. As I have told you before, it is her life's mission; along with being the exact image of a perfect daughter, girl and person, to make me feel like shit." You paused shifting so your weight was slowly and surely pressing upon him, "It was- it was probably because of the pictures I posted last week of me, Steph, Cass and Barabra."

He was motionless this time and still silent. Fiddling with your belt you waited a moment more before replying to him.

"You must have a rather elevated opinion of yourself if you think she would care about something so minuscule y/n- no V/n."

This got a soft- barely audible laugh from him. Taking the second it escaped to bask in the sound and feeling of his body shuddering as he tried to hold it back and you let out a breath. It was relaxing being here with him, talking half to yourself while he listened. It was peaceful and quiet, something you found your cherished. However, the quiet would not last long, so you continued on.

"You see Da- Robin, I would agree with that except she not only was one of the first people to like it, but when it started getting a lot of likes she commented, 'So proud of how far you've come! I hope you'll be home for my ceremony next month!'. Now I have a question for you, is that something someone who doesn't give a shit does?"

This time he moved, shifting so your sides pressed together and faces nearly touched. His brow was furrowed and gaze dark. You blinked in surprise but merely tilted your head.

"What?" He muttered something tense in his voice.

"She commented on my photos of my girl's day with Steph, Cass and Barabra, 'So proud of how far you've come. I hope you'll be home for my ceremony next month. Kinda seems off right?"

Robin scowled as he looked away from you, but not at the city, no he looked at the rooftop, his jaw locking. You weakly laughed and turned so his side was pressed against your back.

"I don't know about you, but that sounds fairly passive aggressive. And I know I'm not the world's greatest detective or his kid, but... that does not seem like something you'd comment on your sibling's post."

Robin grunted and you shut your eyes for a moment, happy tonight was tranquil enough that you could feel the quiet. Every moment that pulsed between the two of you was raw and unimpeded. You could hear every one of his breaths, feel the expanding and contracting of his chest and feel the heat of his body pressed against yours fighting off the chill of the night.

"It is... odd." He finally replied.

You snorted, opening your eyes to see him looking at you, his brows creased with concern.

"That is an understatement if I've ever heard one."

He rolled his eyes snorting as you sat up yawning. Stretching out you faintly heard the beep of the coms, a voice crackling in your ears.

"V/N, Robin, if everything is clear you two are good to go for the night."

Patting your mouth, you nodded making brief eye contact with Robin before you stretched some more, "Alright, thank you very much Oracle!"

Oracle's voice instantly replied, "Of course, get some rest Y/N."

You smiled, shooting Robin a wink as you snagged the small bag you carried with you throughout patrol.

"Yes mam! I will see the both of you tomorrow!"

A soft laugh echoed through the coms before everything went silent, you turned and bounded down the stairs to the closest empty room, changing back into your civilian clothes and placing your vigilante gear into the bag.

Now appropriately dressed, you began your trek home. Which luckily for you, was less than ten minutes tonight. Taking in the night air you bounced and twirled walking down the sidewalk before you arrived at your complex.

Walking inside you began your assent to your apartment; sure, nothing could ruin your night. However, as you made it to your floor you found a figure with bags standing nearby your door.

"Uh, hi," brow furrowed, you slowly approached the figure, "can I help you?"

At the sound of your voice the figure snapped up stepping enough into the dim light that you could see it was a girl- a familiar girl who perked up at the sight of you.

"Y/N!"

You felt the blood drain from your face as the girl raced up and pulled you into a hug. Your head began to spin as you fought to breathe normally.

"What are you doing here?" You weakly asked as the girl released you grinning brightly.

"I'm here to surprise you silly!" She laughed as she pulled on your arm, "I haven't seen you in what feels like forever, so I wanted to come by! I thought it'd be fun to hang out and see how your life is here. Maybe you can give me a tour of the city and introduce me to your friends."

You nodded half understanding what she was saying, still in shock at the sight of her, "Uh-huh."

"Y/N, come on! It's late we should get inside... speaking of where have you been?"

"Work- uh work I work nights most of the time. I usually get back around 4ish," You began, walking towards your apartment.

She nodded in understanding as she pulled her suitcase towards your door waiting for you to open it. Hands slightly shaking you put the key in the lock and twisted pulling down on the handle. With a weak flourish you gestured to the apartment.

"Welcome to Gotham... S/N."

"I'm so excited!" She squealed, wheeling her things in, "we are going to have so much fun."

"So much," You weakly echoed heart dropping as you almost saw your new life going up in flames.

______________________________________________________________

It was unfortunate to say the least that not only was your sister in town, but she wanted to meet your friends. You didn't have many friends outside of the other vigilantes and were nervous to explain that you were friends with the Waynes and never said anything about it.

Part of you wanted to brag and shove it in her face, but you knew that not only was rude but would do nothing. If you were lucky, she would be acquaintances with them in the end... if you weren't.... let's just say you wouldn't be able to have your fun little chats on patrols anymore.

You knew that Damian would never abandon you... at least intentionally. You wanted the two to meet so he could see how all you spoke about was true! So, someone else could tell you, you weren't insane. So that you could feel a sense of relief that you weren't making all this up. But you feared- you so deeply feared he'd choose her over you. You were terrified of being abandoned again for your sister.

Regardless, you knew you had to introduce them at some point because there was no way Damian was going to allow you to not speak to him for that long.

So, after an extensive two-day tour of Gotham and pointing out all of the best places to shop, eat or just relax (despite how few there were) you made your way to the Wayne manor for a brunch of sorts with everyone. To introduce your sister and finally get over with the fear.

Tapping your fingers against the steering wheel you tried to listen to your sister's ramble, but your stomach was churning.

"Sooo," She said, "After this brunch I'm going to go and meet up with some online friends... will you be okay without me?"

You tensed, but slowly nodded, "Oh, yeah! I should be okay. I probably can talk with my boss and ask for some time off so we can continue to hang while you're here. And I run a couple of errands."

S/N nodded, shooting you looks as you pulled into the Wayne's neighborhood. She furrowed her brow as you reached their driveway and the gates opened. You began to go up the driveway when she let out a slight gasp.

"Wait, is this... is this Wayne manor?!"

You nodded your chest tightening, "Uh yeah. I thought I told you I'm friends with the Waynes."

Her jaw dropped as she stared in awe at the manor. You wanted to laugh at her expression, but your nerves were wound so tight you feared it might end in you crying.

"We- we are having brunch with the Waynes?!"

"Well, a few of them. Bruce is busy at work and I'm pretty sure so's Tim. Dick is in Bludhaven. And j-" You stopped yourself recalling Jason wasn't legally alive, "and I think the rest should be joining us, along with a friend I think."

S/N did not move, her eyes wide as you pulled to a stop parking. From here you could see Alfred standing in the doorway. You gave him a quick wave and he returned it with a smile.

Unbuckling, you turned the car off and slid out of it. S/N scrambled to get out as you closed your door. She blinked a few times, shaking her head as you locked the car and began your way to the front door.

"How- how are you friends with the Waynes?" S/N whispered, having clamped onto your arm.

"Uhhh long story, I mean technically work. My boss- he uh... he put me on a project, and I ended up meeting Damian and we hit it off pretty well and I ended up meeting the rest and the same happened." You spat out your prepared lie, noticing the way she tensed upon you saying Damian's name.

"Damian... he's the youngest right?" She muttered as you began to climb up the steps.

"Yup!"

"Miss Y/N, Miss Y/N's sister, it is a pleasure to have you dine with us this morning." Alfred said, holding the door open.

You smiled and gave him a nod, "Alfred this is S/N, S/N this is Alfred Pennyworth he is the butler here and the one who actually runs things."

S/N giggled as she released you to give Alfred a curtsy. He gave you a look as she was bent, and you shrugged. The two of you then walked into the manor a clattering of shouts and chatter coming from the dining room nearby.

"Y/N IS HERE!" A delighted Steph bellowed before bouncing around the corner and bolting towards you.

S/N stepped back as Steph flung herself at you, with surprising ease you caught Steph with a laugh. She grinned wildly as a few more people rounded the corner.

"Looks like all your training is paying off!" Steph giggled as you set her down.

She then paused seeing your sister and smiled, holding out her hand, "Hi! I'm Stephanie but you can call me Steph!"

Your sister's expression instantly lightened, and she took Steph's hand shaking it.

"I'm S/N, Y/N's sister."

Steph released her hand and nodded, "Nice to meet you."

A few beats of silence occurred, and you noticed Cass, Duke and Damian, all approaching you.

"Yo, Duke!" You said almost subconsciously, "It's been a while, how are you man?"

You walked towards Duke giving him a quick side hug as he laughed. You felt Damian's eyes bearing into you, but you ignored it.

"I'm good! You know how it is, school and work. It has been a while, what about you?"

"I'm good, pretty much the same," But you paused as you turned to see your sister shooting you daggers, "My sister is in town. Duke this is S/N, S/N this is Duke! He is one of the chillest people in Gotham and the best writer I know!"

Duke flustered slightly as your sister smiled bounding towards him.

"Hi! It is so nice to meet you! I'm S/N!"

Cass waved hello and you waved back as Damian stopped at your side. Your nerves were twisting tighter as your sister looked to you, her eyes brightening upon seeing Damian.

"That's Cass, she is amazingly talented... oh man if she had one, I would take you to see one of her ballet shows."

Your sister nodded clearly not interested in Cass, she eyed Damian and you noticed Duke and Steph sharing troubled looks.

"And this is?"

"Damian Wayne, it's a pleasure to meet you S/N."

He took the hand she offered out and shook it. You were still as Damian's arm brushed past you, your heart racing. Silence seemed to buzz in your ears before Alfred cleared his throat. You blinked and turned.

"Uh, Is it time to eat alf- Alfred?"

Alfred nodded and you turned towards the dining room feeling Damian's not so subtle grip on your arm, "Why don't we go eat?"

Steph instantly grabbed onto your sister and began asking her questions. She shot Damian looks before caving in and allowing her to guide her away. Duke and Cass followed behind them leaving only you and Damian.

"Are you alright?" He muttered.

"Yeah yeah," You weakly replied, "I- i just wasn't expecting her."

He looked you over his brow furrowing before he nodded, "Alright."

The two of you stared in silence before you felt your face flush.

"Uh, okay let's go eat!"

You felt his grip leave your arm and you hurried to the dining room to find only two seats open. One next to your sister and one next to Cass, across from your sister. You sat down next to her watching as Damian took the seat across from her.

"So!" S/N instantly said, "I'm assuming you've heard all about me so why don't you tell me about yourselves?"

"Actually," Steph chirped, smiling, "Y/N doesn't talk about you guys often... none of us do. It's kinda like an unspoken rule. After all, Bruce adopted half of them and I- let's just say family troubles aren't fun!"

You had to resist a laugh at your sister's outraged expression and quickly drink from a glass of water to hide your amusement.

"Oh," S/N faltered, shaking her head, "that's okay! I just thought that Y/N would talk about us, I mean we used to be so close...anyways uh what do you guys like to do?"

You turned so she wouldn't see your eyes roll, it was clear- at least to you- she was trying to get the other's pity. Make them feel bad for her and be angry at you. Fortunately, they did not fall for such weak tricks.

"It'd be weird if she did when we have a rule about it but okay!" Steph continued, "a little about me hmmm, oh! I love sports and waffles; my favorite color is purple, and my favorite vigilante is Black Bat!"

Your sister slightly flinched before putting on her sweetest smile, "Oh that is so cool! Though... I don't know a lot about Gotham's vigilantes."

This time Duke chimed in, "That's okay, just pick someone you know. As Y/N said I'm a writer, I enjoy poetry and music; my favorite color is probably yellow, and my favorite vigilante is The Signal."

You had to practically shove your fist into your mouth to stop this laugh, your sister nodded looking a little deflated. She then turned to Damian- hesitated and looked at Cass.

"What about you?"

Cass blinked a few times before signing, "I like ballet, black and Spoiler is my favorite."

Your sister blinked a few times and you coughed to hide a laugh before you watched Damian pipe up.

"She speaks sign language, she just said she likes ballet the color black and that her favorite vigilante is Spoiler."

Something in you slipped a bit and your smile nearly dropped as all the laughter left you. Your sister grinned leaning on her arm as she nodded.

"That is very cool. So, you know, sign Damian?"

"All of us do, even Y/N." Duke replied with a shrug.

Your sister turned to you with a surprised look on her face, and you flushed feeling your stomach drop.

"I-I-uh learned so I could talk to Cass. I- I ended up accidentally catching her while practicing and it- it was ... she was so amazing I wanted to compliment her. She understood but- I wanted to talk with her, you know? Be able to hear her words and see her interpretation of the dance."

Something flickered in your sister's eyes, and she nodded her smile looking a little forced as she turned back to Damian, her brow raised.

"I do believe that you should go first, after all it is poor manners to make our guest go last."

She blinked twice before her smile brightened and she nodded, "Oh of course! That makes so much sense. Uh well... I'm in a little bit of everything. Fashion, art, music, science, math, sports. My favorite color has to be blue and uh... Batman is my favorite vigilante."

You bit your lip hard to stop yourself from bursting into a fit of giggles. Damian made eye contact with you, and you could see the amusement in his eyes as you pressed your hand to your face.

"Okay, Y/n it's your turn!" Steph declared, causing you to instantly drop your hand.

"What?"

"It's not fair if you're the only one who doesn't do it!"

"Uh," You hesitated, feeling your sisters' eyes locked on your face, "Okay I guess."

You looked up meeting Damian's gaze for a moment before you looked at everyone else.

"I uh... I like Gotham, my job, spending time with you all and uh my favorite color is f/c."

Silence followed and Steph leaned on the table locking eyes with you.

"What about your favorite vigilante?"

Part of you stirred, tempted to say your own vigilante name when you had a sense of guilt wash over you. It wasn't really fair to your sister, was it? She only knew Batman and- and and now you were trying to find a reasonable way to pick Robin, weren't you?

You shrugged, "Uh I guess I'd have to say Robin since, despite the many different ones, he's just as consistent as Batman."

Steph narrowed her eyes and Damian looked at you, surprise faintly on his face. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed your sister rolling her eyes. She then leaned forwards, capturing Damians attention.

"Your turn Baby Wayne."

You winced at the nickname catching Steph and Duke miming gagging motions and shook at your held back more laughter.

"Alright," Damian said, "I enjoy art, it is so intriguing to see the different depictions of peoples inner most toils. I also revel in animals and taking care of them. While I find picking favorites childish, I will partake out of fairness. Green would have to be the most suitable color and..."

Damian stopped, looking at you for a moment before he looked at your sister.

"I would have to say V/N seems the most competent out of the newer vigilantes."

You felt a very faint blush rise on your cheeks and your sister giggled in delight.

"Oh really? That is so interesting. I love art too! And green is such an amazing color."

Damian nodded as she smiled coyly, the door to the kitchen swinging open as Alfred walked out with trays of plates in his hands. You noticed how your sister watched Damian look at Alfred, his brow slightly furrowing, before she darted up.

"Oh Mr. Pennyworth let me help you with that."

You noticed Damian's eyes following her as she approached, also Alfred's tight grin as he opened his mouth to protest but decided not to stop her from taking a tray from his hands and setting it on the table.

You knew how much Alfred prided himself on being able to take care of the household. Down to even setting food out he found it... offensive when people forced help upon him. He didn't mind if you offered, you recalled once offering to help wash dishes and his soft nod. But when people force their help- he had told you it seems as though they are saying he is not good enough- too old or incapable of carrying out his duties.

Wincing you dug your nails into your palm as your sister continued to "help" Alfred out. Thanking your lucky stars once everything was set out and she finally returned to her seat. With that, you all began to plate up food and dig in.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was around 5 pm when your phone buzzed, the familiar name flashing across the screen with all the familiar words. You were needed for patrol. Your sister had been out almost all day, her internet friends showing her their favorite spots and getting all the "tea" about her brunch at Wayne manor a few days before.

You were a tad frustrated she was using your friends to gain popularity but decided she could dig her own grave. However, upon receiving the text you knew you had to tell her you wouldn't be home until late at the very least. After all she was staying at your place... even if she was never there.

You sent a message back essentially saying you'd be there for patrol, then you shot your sister a text right before you left.

Y/N: Hey! I just wanted to let you know my boss called me in tonight. Apparently, they don't have anyone else who can cover my shift. So, I'll be getting home late.

She did not reply but you could see that the message was read, sighing as you gathered your things and headed to the cave knowing you couldn't expect to be able to leave your stuff around here for much longer.

With your bag hoisted over your shoulder you headed to Wayne manor. Finding Tim on the bat computer and Oracle on your coms.

"Looks like I've got double the help tonight, " You weakly joked.

Neither of them replied so you got dressed, commed up and headed out, half expecting Damian to already be out there. You, however, were surprised to discover that he was not at your normal spot. So, you assumed he was out chasing a criminal or watching from someplace else. Bouncing around the rooftops you looked for any sight of him.

You could have sworn you spotted a flash of his classic colors in the alleyway and descended to investigate. The alley was musty and wet, probably from the rain the night before. Looking around you didn't see any sign of Robin.

"Looks like fifth street's clear," You muttered into the com.

As you readied yourself to go back to the rooftops a figure lunged at you from the shadows, slamming you onto the ground a glint following him as he did.

"Oh shit!" You hissed your finger sliding from the com as a frantic voice began on the other end.

The figure- no, the thug raised the glint, and you realized it was a knife. Fear raced through your veins, and you instinctively pressed your distress signal. The adrenaline coursing over you and drowning out the voices on the other end of the coms.

"Come on you stupid bitch," The thug snarled, "just die already!"

He went to thrust the blade down, but you yanked your leg up and shoved him off of you. Scrambling to your feet as he fell backwards. A snarl of sorts escaped him, and you watched as he rose blade ready in hand. He swung at you again and you barely dodged, your brain beginning to wonder where the hell Robin was and why he wasn't here to help you already.

While in your stupor of thought the thug lashed out again, his blade barely catching your arm, but slicing right through your gear and causing a burst of pain and blood to spill from your arm. You blinked, shaking your head as you tried to focus.

The thug readied himself for another strike and you kicked outwards, sending your foot directly for the knife. You felt the impact into his hand and heard his cursing as the knife went flying backward. You landed and felt your lungs screaming as the thug cursed louder.

Was Robin even coming? What the hell was going on, wasn't he your partner? Wasn't he supposed to be there for you in the most dangerous of moments and you there for him?!

You turned, hoping to get to a more open area so that... that if he was actually coming Damian would be able to see you easier.

However, something grabbed your hair yanking you backwards, you stumbled passed the thug heart racing as you scrambled to your feet. You backed away a bit more hoping to catch the thug off guard. You looked over your shoulder then turned back.

A fist swung out hitting your face, you recoiled chest heaving as the heartbreaking realization you were all alone dawned on you. He wasn't coming.

Reaching up you grabbed onto a fire escape ladder and swung yourself forwards kicking the thug in the chest and sending him skittering backwards. You half climbed up fingers latching onto some round you could not see, and hands grabbed onto your legs. In an act of frantic reaction. You release your grip on the latter allowing the thug to pull you down. however, as you went you slammed the object into his head hearing his faint grunt before slamming into the ground. The heavy thud noise told you he was down for the count.

Spitting out blood, you rose to your feet wobbling as the thug twitched on the ground. Something hot burned in you, and you swung your foot forwards, straight into the thug's gut causing them to go stiff.

Chest heaving and breaths more like pants, you wiped the blood away from your mouth as you heard frantic voices over the coms.

"V/N! V/N are you alright?"

Heaving out a sigh you nodded slowly and answered, "I've been better."

"Thank god, backup will be there soon, hang tight."

"I have a question."

"Uh yeah?"

"Where the fuck is Dam- where is he?"

There was silence and you felt your blood begin to boil. They knew, they knew where he was, but he didn't have the decency to tell you he wasn't going to be going out tonight.

"He's-... he's out." Tim stammered.

"I'm shocked, you are covering for him. Since when would that-" You faltered as you pressed a hand to your bleeding nose.

Oracle voice broke through your rising haze, "He's on a date with your sister."

"What?"

"He's on a date with your sister. He didn't think he'd be gone for so long. He told me he'd be back in time." Oracle remarked calmly.

You swallow, feeling something in you begin to shatter, “My sister?"

Silence followed on the coms, and you closed your eyes for a second remembering her coy smile at him just the other day. And-and how his eyes followed her.

of course... of course he's with her.

"Where are they?" You whispered feeling your throat begin to ache.

"Y/N I don't-" "Where. Are. They?"

"At the restaurant just past the park, the little Grecian style place."

Your- your favorite restaurant. They were at your favorite restaurant. You bite your lip, feeling your hands curl, nails pressing into your palms.

"Y/N don't do anything stupid."

You hissed, shaking your head, "I'm not, I just... I just wanna see it with my own eyes. ... since when, have I ever not been levelheaded?"

Despite what you had said your heart shattered as your mind screamed. Over and over again

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it

Trembling, you waited before bounding towards the restaurant. You skittered to a stop on the rooftop across from the restaurant. It took less than a minute to see them sitting at a table near the windows.

The coms went silent, and you stared through the window. Watching the two laugh together. Damian oblivious to the time and your sister's eyes glinting as she pressed a hand onto his arm. It was a tactic you knew well and noting Damian's back- his body language, it was working. You should have known, when it comes to your sister… you will never be the first choice.

You should have known she will always be chosen over you. You took in a shaky breath.

"Y/N... are you okay?"

"D-don't tell him." You whispered feeling something warm slip down your face.

"What?"

"Don't- act like this- tonight, never happened. Please. Pretend this didn't happen that I don't know... please." Your voice cracked as you moved away from the restaurant.

There was more silence than a clicking sound.

"Tracking data and video footage are gone. Com records will be shredded once tonight's over." Oracle remarks, "what do you want us to tell him?"

"Tell-tell him that you told me he wasn't coming, and I decided to take the night off. Tell him that Nightwing and Hood went out and everything was fine."

"Alright...you should probably go home Y/N."

"Okay... I'll see you all tomorrow." 

______________________________________________________________

Curled on a couch in the Wayne manor library, your eyes darted towards the door, you weren't even attempting to pay attention to the book in your grasps. You knew- knew Damian would be in here soon. And then- then you would be able to ask him what he was doing. To see if he'd try and keep it from you.

At first you weren't even going to mention the other night but... your sister had bragged- bragged about her date. Claiming that Damian had told her all sorts of awful things he thought about you. And to prove it, you should ask Damian if the two of them went out. While you knew what she said wasn't true. Damian wasn't the type to badmouth someone behind their back. Instead, he'd say it to their face, and you'd never heard anything actually awful from him. And to make it all worse, your sister declared as she left, she would be coming back after her ceremony. That- that she had things-people who she couldn't leave behind. That you had no idea what to think of, but you were unsure of whether what she said was the truth. Unsure and uninterested.

However, part of you was .... curious. Curious as to whether or not he'd tell you. He'd be honest and say that he liked your sister, that he was attracted to her. And even though it would be painful to hear, you wanted so desperately wanted him to. You hoped and prayed and begged fate, the universe and God for him to tell you.

You didn't want to lose yet another friend... no, no despite how much it hurt to think of now. Damian was so much more than a friend.

It should have been obvious to you. With how much you craved his presences and adored his smile. How you took almost every opportunity to lean against him and hear his heartbeat. How your heart would flutter when his hand brushed yours or when he said your name. God, were you always this sappy?

Groaning you pressed your face into the book, of course you just had to notice these feelings when your sister came.

"What did that book ever do to deserve, you slamming your face into it?" A familiar voice asked causing your head to snap up.

You swallowed meeting Damian's eyes with a weak laugh, "Nothing... I'm just- it's been a long week."

Damian nodded before sitting down, right next to you. Before- before your epiphany, you would not have realized how close Damian was in a setting as simple as this. And with how you were sitting it'd be hard for him to not be sitting that close.

"I concur." He replied opening his sketch book.

You shifted shooting him a few glances, part of you hoped he'd just tell you without questioning. Another part just wanted to stare at his face for a while. To take in his presence and relax. But you couldn't. Not with all these questions and worries bubbling at your mind.

"What do you wish to say Y/N?" Damian remarked finally looking up and directly into your eyes.

You froze feeling your entire face flush as you dropped your book and stuttered.

"Oh! I- I-uhm... I was just wondering what you were up to the other night patrol got called off. Usually, you asked me to come help you with some of your sketches but that night-" Before you could even finish, he interrupted you.

"I was with Colin and Jon. They wished to spend time together since we are 'friends'."

Something bitter was suddenly on your tongue as you recalled him sitting across from your sister at the restaurant, the image of his back searing int your mind.

"Really?"

"Yes, what did you find yourself doing?"

"Just reading," You mumbled eyes dropping as you felt the air leave your chest.

He was lying. Lying to you.

It almost seemed as if the world came crashing down around you as his words- his lies blared over and over and over again in your mind. A burning was in your throat, and you found yourself struggling to breathe as a single question repeated over and over and over.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Was it because he had... he had feelings for her? If so, why couldn't he just be honest? Was it because he was scared of the way you'd react? Did he not trust you? Was it because your sister was telling the truth? She was coming back to Gotham because of Damian? Were they- were they going to be in a relationship? If so, why was he hiding it, why was he lying?

Your head spun with questions and worries as your heart shattered in your chest, the realization crashing down on you. She did it again. She had taken another person from you.

You in took sharply and Damian placed a hand on your arm.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh? Oh yeah, " You lied blinking slowly, "just tired. I really wasn't expecting S/N to come."

"Maybe you should get some rest." Damian softly replied.

You nodded your mind screaming as your heart raced. You- you couldn't take this anymore. There had to be a change. Something-something had to be different.

Rising slowly, you picked your book up and set it on the couch absentmindedly waving goodbye.

"I'll see you later." You muttered as your heart jumped to your throat.

"Yes, of course... shall I tell Kent and Wilkes you say hello?"

You froze in the doorway of the library as a plan began forming in your mind. You looked over your shoulder seeing Damian's eyes locked on you. You smiled and nodded,

"Of course."

With that you walked out of the room, down the hall. Then- then you were running, running down the stairs and to an office. Panting you bit your lip and squeezed your fists.

With a heavy breath you pushed the door to the office open and made eye contact with none other then Bruce Wayne.

"Y/N, what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked his brow furrowed slight concern on his face as he took in your disheveled figure.

"I wouldn't call this meeting a pleasurable one," You softly began before raising your chin, "Mr. Wayne, we really need to talk."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The air was fresh, and you took in a deep breath hoping to admire the beginning of a new day, unfortunately that was not in today's cards. Your phone buzzed and you swallowed seeing his name flash across the screen. Slowly letting the air leave you, you answered and pressed the phone to your ear,

"Hello?" You mumbled, only to hear Damian's prompt inquiry instead of a greeting. "You are acting rather irregular as of late, is there something that has been disturbing you?"

"No, no I'm not and I'm fine... unless you know of something that might make me act strange?"

"I do not understand what you are speaking of. Are you implying there is something I have done to make you act irregular?"

You went silent grinding your teeth as you shook your head, resisting the urge to pull your phone away from your face, "Nevermind... why did you call?"

"I was curious as to why you have been avoiding me. And before you go on blathering that nonsense that you are not, I know you are."

"Why does it matter?"

"You are always saying that we are...how did you put it? Ah yes, best friends. Am I wrong in saying such acquaintances should keep in contact and even spend time together?"

"You're not wrong in saying that best friends do that."

"Then what am I wrong in saying? That much is evident by your choice of words."

"That we are best friends."

"Pardon?" Damian voice sharpened causing you to swallow.

"I'm not your best friend Damian... at least not anymore. I-I don't consider us best friends."

"Then what exactly am I to you now?"

"That... that is what you are concerned about? Not why I suddenly changed by mind or that it might have been because of something you've done?"

"Y/N, if you wish to tell me something, say it. I do not care for you beating around the bush as they put it."

"You lied to me Damian." You calmly stated feeling tears building up in your throat.

He went silent before replying his voice trembling just enough to tell you he was lying. "What on earth do you mean?"

"You're lying again..." You paused closing your eyes, "Damian, I know you too well for that bullshit to work. You lied to me about what you were doing the other night. I know you were with my sister... I know you were, on a date with her."

"I-" Damian began, before stopping

There was more silence, and you squeezed your hand into a fist, silent and painful tears spilling from your eyes, "You betrayed me. I-I should have known you were going too, that you would. Everyone- everyone always does... they always chose my sister over me. They always decide to put her first even if I was friends with them originally."

"I do not understand how going out with your sister is betraying you."

"That's the best part Damian, it's not. But lying to me about it, helping feed into my sister's taunts and torments-"

"I never fed into that, I would never Y/N. This- this is all a- a misunderstanding."

You ignored him and pressed on, "Abandoning me when I needed you most, when my life was in danger... to be with my sister at a place- a place I showed you... that is one of the most utter betrayals."

Damian went quiet and you squeezed your eyes shut finally, finally letting him know what actually occurred that night.

"I went on patrol that night, I got ambushed and attacked and and- I waited for you." You heard your voice crack as your crying spilled over into your throat, "but you never came. God, I felt like such a fool, especially when I found out you were with her. I feel like such a fool."

"Y/N I-"

"Do you know what makes this all-worse Damian? Do you know what hurt the most? What burns so deeply it hurts to even fucking breathe?"

He was silent on the other end, and you continued, half sobbing as you did,

"I actually thought that you'd come, I actually thought that you cared. I actually thought that you- that you would be different and that- that-"

You took a slow breath, "I actually thought you might return my feelings. I thought for once- for once my sister couldn't take something -someone I love from me. Yet here we are."

Damian in took but you blazed forwards knowing what he was going to say, you'd heard it all before too many times.

"I know- I know!" You seethed, "She's not just anyone and it makes me wonder, what- no who am I then? Who am I too you Damian?"

He didn't reply and you hiccupped pressing a hand to your face so- so thankful you decided to do this over a call instead of saying all of it in person.

"I know who I am, even if you don't know who I am to you. I am not the quiet girl who I use to be." You muttered looking up towards the rising sun, the pit in your stomach both growing and weakening, "I will not sit aside as my sister tramples over everything and takes what remains. And I am definitely not the girl who is going to stay friends with, let alone partners with someone who knows how I feel about my sister and chose to... and chose her. You chose her over me. Despite all we've been through you lied to me. And-and what hurts the most is had you told me... had you told me the truth? I wouldn't have cared. But you hid it and tried to make it seem as though you were on my side. You- I- I love you, Damian. Actually, and truly love you. In a romantic way. And had you told me the truth- had you not lied... let's just say I wouldn't be leaving Gotham."

"What?!"

"I, am leaving Gotham. I already resigned as a vigilante.... she is planning on returning after her ceremony and I-I can't live with the sight of the two of you together... not- not with feeling what I feel." You in took a breath hoping that this heart wrenching- this heartbreak would be quick so that in- in your new home you'd be able to start fresh.

"Where will you be?" Something almost sounded frantic in Damian's voice, but you must have been imagining it.

"I will be leaving, going somewhere my sister has- well to quote her, 'have been to enough for a lifetime.' You don't need to worry I won't try and hold this over you... in fact after this call I'm getting rid of my phone."

"I will- I will not stand for this!" Damian snarled his voice cracking on the other end, "you will stay here."

"You don't control me Damian... if fact. If I'm being completely honest after all of this- after what's happened. You mean nothing to me." The lie was bitter on your lips, and you bit your tongue to hide your sobs.

"Y/N... forgive me. It's just I-...You don't understand- please. Please, He sounded so desperate it made your heart ache in a different way, but you couldn't let him get to you, you'd come so far, "Please allow me to explain. I beg of you."

"No," You softly replied digging your nails into your palm, "No. I won't hear any explanations. I won't listen to your honey coated lies because I'm sick of it Damian. I am sick of being used and disposed of. I'm sick of being the second choice, I am sick of being thrown away the second people find 'something better'.

"I made a mistake, please."

"Are you sure it was that you made a mistake and not that you were caught lying?"

Damian went quiet and you had to press your hand to your mouth to stop more cries from escaping.

"Goodbye Damian, despite all that's happened... despite all you've done, I hope you have a good life."

"Y/N no please I-"

You ended the call before you could hear the end of his sentence. Removing the sim card from your phone, you took in a breath then threw your phone into the nearest trash can.

Pressing your back against the complex's wall you buried your face into your hands and sobbed. Letting all of your emotions and feelings out. It was a matter of seconds before someone was hovering over you and you looked up to see your new roommate's concerned face.

"Are you okay Y/N?"

"Yeah, " You nodded wiping the tears from your face as you hiccupped, "I'm... I'm much better. Thank you... seriously, thank you so much Jon."

Jon Kent sighed with a weak nod as he gave you another look over.

"Of course, I'm always happy to help out a friend... especially one who is willing to help me cut my rent in half."

You weakly laughed before rising to your feet, wiping all the stray tears from your face.

"I'm happy to have a place to stay."

Jon nodded again looking you over before he turned towards the city, "How about I give you a tour to get your mind off things?"

"Tour? hmm, yeah that sounds good. Let's do a tour."

"Alright, but first," Jon smiled as he gestured to the city, "Welcome to Metropolis Y/N."

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @krswrites @thefallingstarlights @masset-fotia @neon-scenery @ssak-i @legendarylearner18

[2amtechnicolor]

We Need To Talk About Mahiru

Mahiru's second Trial is out and oh my god she just jumped up on my faves list. I love analyzing the MVs from different perspectives so I thought I'd give my 2 cents on Mahiru's character.

My vote: INNOCENT

The first thing I really feel the need to bring up is that people tend to ignore that Mahiru is actually very intelligent. There's multiple kinds of intelligence, and while she might not be "traditionally" smart in the linguistic sense, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She's a master of empathy and mood making and is an incredibly charming talker to the point you don't realize she's completely controlling the conversation. That being said, I genuinely don't think she uses her intelligence for malicious gains.

One of the theories going around with her first MV was that she was overbearing to the point of being abusive, while being oblivious to her own toxicity. Now after rereading and rewatching, I'm inclined to disagree. Her love may be seen as overbearing to some but we have not seen any explicit bad behavior towards her boyfriend. (Contrast with someone like Muu, who was revealed to have bullied as much as she was bullied herself). In my unpopular opinion, I genuinely think Mahiru was in a "healthy" relationship, at least on the surface.

[TW for discussions of death, murder, and fictional depictions of suicide]

[Side Note: One of the sticking points people have while saying "Mahiru was toxic" is that "Mahiru's relationship only lasted 16 days" which is blatantly not true when you check the translations for MV1. Day 1 takes place during college finals (mid-March-ish in JPN), Day 7 explicitly takes place in the summer, and Day 15 is New Year's Day (January). Mahiru's affection towards her boyfriend lasted almost a year, and they dated for around 6 months-ish during that. The "16 Day Memorial" isn't about a period of 16 days, it's about 16 days over the course of their relationship where she was explicitly making moves towards her boyfriend.]

I need you to take a real hard look at how Mahiru talks about "love" and "being in love." More specifically, when she talks about the concept of "love," she often brings up the action of "loving/showing love" in her explanation. Never once have I heard her say "My boyfriend loved me." or "This is what my boyfriend did for me." The focus is all on her actions towards the boyfriend. And I genuinely think she was a sweet girlfriend! She loved trying his hobbies and cooking his favorite foods and going to his favorite spots. She was sweet, and kind, and playful, and maybe just a bit clingy. But she was never jealous or possessive.

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!

She explicitly states that her crime was not based off of negative feelings towards her boyfriend, but she still takes responsibility for what happened. Compare that to Fuuta, who, despite his own feelings of guilt, continually verbally denied that he had anything to do with his victim's death. Mahiru not only takes explicit responsibility, but also pins her "love" as his cause of death, to the point where if she was voted guilty, she would never try to love anyone again. Without "loving" anyone, she has no reason to live.

"To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe."

It's interesting the way she compares basic needs to "the act of loving". Not the concept of "love" itself, but the act of showing someone love. If she is not allowed to show someone love, to her it's like suffocating, like dying of thirst, or maybe...dying of starvation?

Mahiru in her second MV may be dirty and barefoot with torn clothes, but the one thing she is not is starving. You could argue that "perhaps it doesn't show," but when compared to her boyfriend...

She's incredibly healthy.

And of course she's healthy! Her lovely boyfriend's been feeding her those bites of cake! So is the cake "love" then? But if the cake is love, why is her boyfriend, the one whose being "smothered," the one starving?

Feeding the cake doesn't represent "love." Feeding the cake also doesn't represent "the act of loving." Feeding the cake represents the boyfriend letting Mahiru "love" him. Does that make sense?

The boyfriend lets himself be vulnerable, he feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru for her to "love." But yet, he himself is starving.

...Have you even noticed Mahiru hates talking about herself?

It's evident from her first interrogation. Es can barely get two words in before Mahiru interrupts them to ask them questions about themselves or to offer her own advice to problems she thinks Es may be having.

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that.

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function.

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me.

Compared to one of the few times Es gets a question in:

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important?

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

When reflected back to her, her answered become short and vague. Her voice grows soft and shy. She avoids questions, especially questions about difficult topics, not because she doesn't understand the gravity of them (like Haruka) but because she does. Like I said at the top, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She was beaten nearly to death because Kotoko decided to be Es's "fang", and yet she still empathizes with them. She still makes a strong attempt to see their point of view, and even to encourage Es to keep working hard. Compared to the other attacked prisoner we've seen, Fuuta, who blames and grovels for forgiveness, these responses are like night and day.

But what do we know about Mahiru, really?

She's 22

She's a university student

She likes romantic novels, comic, and dramas

She loves love. [But she's not obsessed with being loved. Haruka is obsessed with being loved, Haruka wants to be loved and taken care of, Haruka killed out of jealousy and for attention because he didn't feel loved enough. We never get that from Mahiru.]

Everything else we know about Mahiru? Is for other people.

Her favorite hobbies? Whatever her partner is doing.

Her fashion sense? Whatever will catch her partner's eye.

Her favorite food? Well, as long her partner cooks it, anything's her favorite!

The only time we ever get a sense of her and her boyfriend possibly disagreeing on something is Day 14 in MV1. Mahiru wants to see a French film and begs her boyfriend to take her. This is odd, because just a few scenes ago, she was bragging about how their tastes in films perfectly line up. If their tastes are the same, why would she have to beg him to take her to see this one?

Mahiru, like Yuno, is hiding behind a facade. But unlike Yuno, Mahiru doesn't have a strong core underneath her mirroring. Yuno can drop her "nice girl" act and she still has strong opinions and feelings and acts accordingly. Mahiru, when you try to go behind her mask, clams up, redirects, searches for a way out.

So. Back to cake.

The boyfriend feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru. He makes himself vulnerable, he lets her in, lets her care for him, lets her "love" him.

But Mahiru? She never feeds him until the very end, and even then, her "cake" isn't anything edible.

She's not stupid. She knows she can't give him what he really wants: any sort of vulnerability.

Their relationship is one-sided, but not because Mahiru is toxic or the boyfriend is apathetic. Their relationship is one sided because that's how Mahiru wants it to be. She wants to be the perfect girlfriend, because, if we're being honest, Mahiru doesn't like herself very much.

Why else would she hate talking about herself? She clearly loves to chat.

She puts her all into everything...as long as it's for someone besides her.

She will outright ignore her own pain and suffering, her own emotions, because she doesn't want to make anyone else upset.

Mahiru: Sorry… for making you worry. I’m fine! It doesn’t hurt at all.

Es: It’s a horrible injury. There’s no way it doesn’t hurt.

Mahiru: It doesn’t!

So why did her boyfriend die?

Mahiru's very good at hiding her emotions. If she slipped up and her boyfriend realized and noticed how she refused to love herself, it could cause friction in their otherwise perfect relationship.

Maybe Mahiru was the one who wanted to die in the woods, and her boyfriend, starved for any sort of real connection to her, found her at the last moment? Maybe her mental health dragged his down with her.

Mahiru's incredibly complex and tragic and endlessly relatable. She only loves too much because she can't love herself. If she's truly unforgivable, and she keeps her promise to stay alone...what's stopping her from killing the only thing she hates most?

[callsign-dexter]

Just Like Daddy

Request: can I pease request a mav x daughter reader where mav is trying to idk work out maybe and the daughter wants to join. so while maverick is working out his daughter had little 1 lb weights to copy his moves.

100% your choice

Pairings: Maverick x Daguther!Reader, Penny Benjamin x Daughter!Reader, Maverick x Penny Benjamin

Warnings: fluff

Masterlist

As soon as The Daggers were back from the Uranium Mission Maverick proposed to Penny and it was an instant yes. He loved her and she loved him. There was no way she was gonna say no and that made him smile. They spent a year being engaged and they finally married on the beach right in front of The Hard Deck. The ceremony was beautiful, it was done right at sunset when the sun was going down over the horizon with a soft breeze that moved her dress and her bridesmaid’s dresses. Amelia was Penny’s maid of honor and Bradley was the best man, they took getting the ceremony perfect seriously and they did not disappoint.

When the wedding was over the reception was taken inside of The Hard Deck but it had spilled out onto the beach. It was perfect all the way around. As the night was winding down, they pulled Ameila over to the side and had a conversation with her. “Congratulations to you both! I’m so happy to have you as a father, Mav.” Amelia said and that brought a smile to his face.

“I’m happy to have you as a daughter. Speaking of kids.” He trailed off and she got a look of excitement on her face.

“Wait, is mom pregnant?” She asked and they both laughed but shook their heads.

“No, honey but we were wondering how you would feel if another kid was brought into this family.” Penny asked

“Yes! A little sibling would be great, especially a little sister.” She said looking at them and smiled.

“We just wanted to clear it with you before we started to try.” Mav said and she smiled.

“Thank you. Thank you for asking me and making my mom happy.” She said to Mav while hugging him.

“Of course, you girls mean the world to me and this baby will too.” Maverick said

The rest of the night went without a hitch and now they were being shipped off to their honeymoon in Jamaica.  

They got pregnant on their first try which was on the last day of their honeymoon. Which was a surprise but it was not unwelcomed. They found out officially a week later and were ecstatic. After the first trimester they were comfortable with telling everyone and they were so happy for them that it was unreal. The two that were probably more excited than the parents were Ameila and Bradley.

9 months later they were welcoming a beautiful healthy baby girl, Y/N Y/M/N Mitchell aka you, into their lives. Penny was a little jealous, not really, that you were the spitting image of her father but was actually happy that Maverick got his mini me and she just knew that you both were going to be trouble together and boy was she right but she had it handled. After all she has put up with Maverick this long.

3 years later you were running around and wreaking havoc but they wouldn’t have any other way. Amelia had gone away to college just a state over and you missed her dearly. Your parents made sure to keep you busy and you had weekly phone calls with your older sister and sometimes Skype sessions. Most of the time your dad was with you so it was you and him having the same guilty look on both of your faces as your mother scolded you both. After she was done scolding you both would have that signature Mitchell smirk on your face and she couldn’t help rolling her eyes and smile while shaking her head. You loved copying your dad in whatever he did, whether that be mimicking his actions or pulling pranks on people. You admired him and never wanted to let him down.

Since Maverick was getting older, he had planned on working out more to stay in top physical shape. The Daggers had planned on working out after work and Penny had planned on picking you up from the daycare on base but something had happened in the bar that needed her assistance. Maverick had just finished his paperwork for the day when his phone started to ring, he looked at the caller ID and saw that it was his wife.

“Hey beautiful.” He said and that made Penny smile.

“Hey something came up at the bar. Can you pick up Y/N/N and take her to the gym with you and bring her home?” She asked and he smiled.

“Of course, everyone is gonna love seeing her.” He said

“I know she is going to love seeing Bradley.” She said and they both chuckled. You did love Bradley but that wasn’t a surprise to anyone after all he was your big brother. “I’ll see you both at home.” She said

“Yes, you will. I love you.” Maverick said

“I love you too.” Penny said and then they both hung up the phone.

Maverick packed his stuff up and walked out of his office making sure he had his keys, phone, and other things he needed. As he was walking out, he had run into The Daggers. “You headed to the gym, Pops?” Jake asked.

“I am but first I need to go and pick up Y/N.” He said and everyone got happy.

“Oh, Y/N is going to be joining us?” Bob asked and Maverick nodded.

“Yup, something came up at the bar that needed Penny’s attention.” Maverick said “Now, if you excuse me. I need to go and pick up my child.” He said and everyone nodded and then he was on his way.

He reached the daycare pretty quickly and walked in and up to the desk. The receptionist smiled “Admiral Mitchell! Here to pick up Y/N?” She asked.

“Hi, Brittnay. Yes, I am here to pick her up.” He said and she smiled.

“Great! Just sign the sheet and I’ll go and get her.” She said and he nodded. As he was signing the sheet, he could hear his child’s laughter and he smiled. Once he was done, he put down the pen and turned out just in time to see you come prancing down the hallway, you were chatting away with Brittany about nothing really. When you saw your dad, you smiled.

“Dada!” You shouted and hurried to him and he picked you up.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” He said and you threw your arms around him. “Did you have a good day?” He asked and you nodded. He thanked Brittnay and then he was on his way. “You wanna go and see Bradley?” He asked and you lit up.

“Bubba?” You asked and he smiled. You had started calling him that when you saw him and could speak.

“Yea, Bubba.” He said and you squealed. On the way to the gym, you were pointing out things and he would confirm them. When he reached the gym, he opened the door and saw that everyone had already started.

“Bubba!” You shouted when you saw Bradley and he looked up and smiled and walked over to you.

“Hey there, Munchkin. You have a good day?” He asked and you nodded and you made grabby hands for him and he took you.

“Sweetheart, you stay with Bradley while I go and get changed. Ok?” He asked and you nodded and watched him leave. Bradley had moved over back to where he was working out and you were looking at everyone in awe. Not even 4 minutes later Maverick was coming out and joining you and Bradley.

“Dada.” You said and he smiled and bent down and kissed you which made you giggle. He picked up a weight and started to do some lifting and you watched him carefully. You stood up and walked over to the weights and Bradley took notice of this. He walked over and found the 1 lb weight and handed it to you and you smiled and took it from him. He got his phone out and turned it to his camera and got the video ready, Penny was gonna love this.

You watched Maverick and started to copy his moves while having the most intense look of concentration on your face. Everyone started to awe and chuckle. Maverick looked over wondering what was going on and Nat pointed at you and he looked over and smiled. “Are you copying daddy?” He asked and you looked up at him and smiled.

“Dada.” You said and he chuckled after a minute or so Bradley stopped recording and sent it to Penny. The rest of the time at the gym you spent copying Maverick or someone else and they were eating it up. By the time everyone was done, showered, and ready to go you were exhausted. Nat was done the quickest and stayed with you until Maverick was done getting refreshed. He walked out and thanked her and then was picking you up and heading home. 

When you got home Maverick quickly parked and shut off the engine and then unloaded you. Penny had already been home and had supper cooking. “Mama!” You yelled out when you walked through the door and she smiled.

“Hi, Baby Girl.” She said and took you from Maverick “Did you have a good day with daddy?” She asked and you nodded.

“Bubba.” You said and she smiled.

“Did you get to see Bubba?” She asked and you nodded and she kissed the side of your head. “Supper will be ready soon.” She said Maverick nodded and kissed her. Maverick made busy with you while Penny finished supper. “I saw the video Bradley sent.” She said turning the stove off and grabbing plates while fixing them up, first she brought yours and his and then got hers.

“What did you think?” He asked while he ate and fed you.

“It was adorable.” She said

“She just went over the weight selection and I’m assuming Bradley helped her pick a very light weight one.” He said

“Bubba?” You asked when you heard Bradley’s name.

“Yea Bubba helped, didn’t he?” Maverick asked and you picked up your fork and got a piece of food and put it in your mouth, something they had been working with you on. Supper was finished quickly and they cleaned everything up and then they gave you a bath. You were quick to go down after all you had a long and exciting day.

Penny and Maverick returned to the living room and sat down to watch some TV while you slept. As they were picking something Penny turned to Maverick “You know she is the miniature version of you, right?” She asked and he stopped and looked at her and smiled.

“Yea, I know. Just wait until she wants to be a pilot when she grows up.” He said and they chuckled.

“Knowing her and with her being just like you I fully intend on her doing so. She has too many cool aunts and uncles and let’s not forget she is surrounded by the Navy.” She said and again they chuckled then she turned serious “Just don’t pull her papers. You don’t want another Bradley incident.” She said and he grimaced.

“No, I don’t. If she wants to go there and become like her old man and her aunts and uncles, I will fully support her.” He said and Penny smiled.

“I have no doubt about that.” She said and then she turned to the TV and they picked something. They snuggled into each other and enjoyed the rest of the night together knowing you were safe and sound to sleep in your room.

If you’re anything like Maverick then the Navy better watch out because they have another Mitchell heading their way because you are going to come in strong and not stopping until you had reached the best of the best, aka Top Gun.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[miz-chase]

tw canon typical abuse/violence

I really do wish Bones gave the time to unpack Brennan and Booth's individual relationships with violence and how they intersect.

Brennan from the opening of the first episode, is violence first, always. I wonder where she learned that, as it seems she was defenseless while she was in foster care. More likely it was as a young adult in college, where she was finally free to make her own choices in her life. It's easy to imagine that she utilized those skills often on field-work trips. It would make sense if her school/work life was bouncing between 1) being the only woman at a field site in dangerous locations, and 2) being socially isolated in labs. If that's the case, it would make sense that she never really acclimatized to 'normal' life wrt to violence. In the States, you'd figure she'd have had some repercussions for doing things like breaking noses and wrists on an impulse.

God forbid there be police violence accountability in a copaganda show, but it would make an interesting story if Brennan attacking a suspect had real consequences, getting charges dropped, blowing the case no matter how good the evidence they had. How would she cope?

Meanwhile with Booth,

we know experienced violence at home from an early age. He shielded his brother from his father's beatings, which probably involved hitting back. Pops takes Jared and Booth away when they were "little kid(s)." Presumably that violence was subsumed by his football playing that gets him a scholarship to college, but he then spends the entirety of his 20s in some form of military or violent FBI circumstances. He goes from an army grunt boxer to a specially trained sniper, turning the emotional physicality of violence into something remote and dispassionate. These are the kills he truly regrets.

When we meet him as an FBI agent, he's a bully who will casually, indifferently shove suspects around, uses his physicality as a tool to maneuver anyone he likes. He also explicitly, morally hates killing. The series sees him grow out of (most of) this violence, to the point where he has a minor crisis over losing his temper with a guilty suspect.

Again, I wish we saw consequences for the casual violence, though his bullying suspects is in more in line with cop-standard-deniability injuries rather than Brennan literally breaking bones.

What I'm really interested in, though, is this contrast, where Booth uses violence as a dispassionate, even disliked, tool while Brennan acts all on impulse and always assumes she's right to do so. Booth can't stand to lose control, anything that comes from anger sends him into a spiral. We can contrast this with Brennan's embrace of impulsive violence, where she always feels she is justified (and the narrative usually agrees).

We know that from the beginning, Booth finds it "so hot" when she loses her temper and whacks a senator in the nose, but it also is the reason their partnership dissolved in the first place. It always seemed like a charged thing that, when Brennan hit him, he was quick to defend her. He was raised in a household that made excuses for violence, and it feels loaded that he continues to do that for Brennan over the seasons. It isn't until season 11 where he is like, hey babe, maybe don't.

"It is my job to make sure I don't lose my partner because she can't control her temper."

It's not that I think Brennan is abusive, not at all, but do I think that she's oblivious-to-careless about the kind of trigger that hitting Booth is. We rarely see them fight, but the angst in me wants more arguments like The Shot in the Dark. Arguments are a normal part of life as a couple. Brennan losing her temper and lashing out is in character. What would happen? how would they cope?

The flipside is, and this is the real angst, is if Booth ever actually lost his temper with her. If we use Signs in the Silence as our model, he goes right into a self-hatred spiral even with justified violence, just because it comes from a place of anger. If he got angry enough, he wouldn't even need to touch her to view it as a massive slip up. Because deep down he thinks he is his father, and if he ever gets angry with Brennan, then maybe he will hurt her. That faint possibility, the minute potential that he could ever hurt her? He would absolutely lose his shit. He'd be out of the house never to be found again. He would absolutely do the worst thing he could possibly do to hurt Brennan (abandon her) in order to protect her from the worst thing in his entire life (violence through anger).

I don't think I could ever write the fic, because it's just too damn angsty, but man, what a situation to put these specific characters in. It's both of their worst nightmares combined, no better way to hurt both of them at the same time.

[noiriarti]

The Arrangement: Armitage Hux x Reader (College AU) Ch. 5

Summary: A cuddle-buddies-to-lovers college AU.

AN: second to last chapter!! i was activated like a sleeper agent and wrote this in a fugue state at 2 am. it is also 3.5k words. hope you like it! i am going to put this man through a juicer like he's an orange!

Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, [Ch. 5], Ch. 6

Chapter 5: Yogurt

After his revelation, Armitage started feeling guilty. It was in the rules, wasn't it, that you had to be honest with one another? That he had to come clean? But if he told you, you might pull away. Stop staying over. Or, worse, stop being his friend. That was unthinkable, so he kept his mouth shut. Meanwhile, you were thinking the same thing.

He was everything you wanted: proud, smart, reliable, strong, and, beneath it all, kind. Sweet. You'd pick him in a room of the hottest men on the planet a million times over. When you'd started your arrangement, you'd known him, sure, but you hadn't known him. What made him tick. What he wanted out of life. Watching him talk about how much he loved doing research in a neurochem lab, describing his experiments and the machines he used, you had slowly started peeling back the layers of his shell.

You just hadn't expected some of your discoveries to be so sad. Behind the facade of the dry humor and the insults he could hurl at Kylo in a heartbeat, he was so soft and delicate that it made your heart ache. You heard a bit about his father, when he would let some story slip. He told you once, when he was drifting off and let his guard down, that his father always found him lacking. That he could never be good enough. Useless and pathetic. Brendol Hux was a neurosurgeon with a god complex almost as large as his bank account, and he wasn't afraid of reminding Armitage exactly how he had misstepped that week. You suspected Brendol was physically abusive too, but you didn't want to ask Armitage. Not when he was so reticent to bring him up in the first place. The rest of his home life was bleak too. His stepmother, Maratelle, was calm, but distant. Armitage wasn't hers, as far as she was concerned. If she did speak to him, it was some remark about what he was eating, or his posture.

He was so proper, so deeply self-controlled, in every aspect of his day. His daily calendar was exacting, and often so overstuffed you felt anxious just looking at it. He did everything when he was supposed to do it, like clockwork. You could practically set your watch by his breakfast routine or his study sessions. That self-control was probably why  he never did anything that was vaguely sexual or romantic during your sessions, more than the inherent romance of how much contact you had. He never tried to kiss you, and, oddly, you found yourself hoping for it. The irony that this whole arrangement started precisely from your desire for no kissing or groping during cuddling wasn't lost on you, but it was different with Armitage.

Lately, though, you had seen a change in him. As he told you about his meetings with his advisors, he brought up a new idea. Clinical psychiatry. He could do research, and explore how brain chemistry worked in the real human body. Evaluate medicines. Really help people, not just now, but in the future. He could help make people better. Or, he could also make new medicines, but he'd need a PhD in chemistry for that. Either way, he was reconsidering his future, and the first person he wanted to tell was you.

A week after her bombshell, seeing no movement in your situation, Gwen casually mentioned one of your neighbors and friends, Finn, was having a party that Friday. That he told her to invite her roommates. You knew Finn from your Intro Compsci class, and he was great. Really sweet, lived with his boyfriend Poe and their friends Rey and Rose. You said you and Armitage would be there, not noticing that you had begun speaking for the two of you as a collective in the past month. After a hard semester, it was time to let loose. To chill a bit. Maybe forget about how much you wanted Armitage. You knew exactly what you would wear, too. 

On Thursday night, you heard raised voices in his room, just for a minute. After he yelled something indistinct, you heard a smash and then silence. Concerned, you knocked on his door. Tap tap tap tap. You didn't bother waiting for him to open the door. Those kinds of boundaries had been crossed a long time ago.

Armitage was on his bed, his head in his hands, shaking in rage. His phone was on the floor against the room, and you realized he had thrown it in anger. Worry clouded you, and you immediately rushed to him, sitting next to him in the dark room. Only the lamp by his bed shone, like it always did when he was expecting you.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you draped your arms over his shaking shoulders, trying in vain to calm him down.

"My father--he. We fought," he choked out. He wasn't crying, but his voice was thick with emotion.

"I'm so sorry. Want to talk about it?" You offered. He hesitated for a moment, but nodded. Millie was hiding under the bed, but peeked her head out at the softness of his voice.

"I brought up my idea to try chemistry--a PhD instead of an MD. Or, at least, to do psychiatry instead of surgery. He didn't like it," he whispered, his voice breaking. A sob bubbled up in his chest, but he kept it pressed deep down. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't.

"He's an asshole. You should be able to do what you want," you told him, rubbing up and down on his arm. Millie crawled into his lap, looking up at him with her large, green eyes. 

"Hey, girl," he whispered to her under his breath, scratching behind her ears, before turning his attention back to you. "It doesn't work like that in my family. If I don't do what he wants, he'll be disappointed and--I don't know." You pulled him down onto the bed so that he was facing the wall, and you were behind him. He hid himself in the wall, curling up until he felt tiny in the space. Like he did when his father yelled at him when he was little. You snaked your free hand over him, pulling him closer and pressing your chest into his back. The exact opposite of what you did the first night you were together.

You laid there for a couple of minutes, just holding him as he processed. In a tiny, tiny voice, so silent you wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't dead quiet, he asked you something.

"Do you think I'll ever stop wanting him to like me?" You crumbled. He was so precious, so sweet. I like you. I love you. You don't need him, your mind echoed. You wanted nothing more than to keep him like this, wrapped up in your arms, until he understood how much he meant to you.

"Armitage, he's your dad. Of course you want him to like you. But he's controlling, and if you spend your whole life chasing what he wants, how will you ever have space for what you want? All your friends know how amazing you are. We know you, who you are, and we love you for it. You would be an excellent psychiatrist, or chemist, or, hell, even a surgeon. What your father wants is irrelevant. What you want should be all that matters." He nodded, but stayed quiet. When he'd had fights like this with his father as a child, they rocked him to his core. He'd hole up in his room for hours, even days, hoping that someone would come looking. That someone would find him and tell him he was okay. That they weren't mad at him. With you, with Gwen, hell, even with Kylo in his life, it felt like there was someone there. Someone to help him keep going when his family was hard. Hearing your words, for the first time after a fight with his father, he started getting angry, but the emotion was short-lived. 

Armitage was trying and failing to ignore he way his body lit up when you said you (all) loved him. He knew it was a general, collective statement, but he let himself believe, just for tonight, that you meant it the way he desperately wanted you to. That you were holding him not as his... whatever this was, but as his girlfriend. The arms of a lover, the embrace of his girl. Tonight, somewhere between the rage at his father and the pain of rejection, he could let himself believe it. It soothed him, and he imagined life with you. Waking up and having cereal, kissing you tenderly over the kitchen table. That would happen when he woke up, he told himself. Because you loved him. Tonight, just tonight, you loved him. He felt so safe in your arms, so happy in his temporary delusion, that he fell asleep almost instantly, but not before he had one final thought. I love you too.

As you felt his arm and body go slack, finally asleep, you drew in closer, resting your head on his back. Gently, you pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade, and hoped he would have sweet dreams, ones where he did what made him happy.

In the morning, he woke before you, as usual, and felt horrendously embarrassed. He should have just told you last night that he needed to study, and that you could see each other tomorrow. Instead, he had shown you something he didn't want to. Did you think less of him? In the harsh light of the morning, his bullheaded, hopeful belief that that you loved him seemed laughable. Silly, even. Pathetic. The anger toward his father was all that was left in his heart, the sadness having morphed into something vengeful overnight.

Not to mention the fact that he was definitely in breach of your arrangement. He was not being honest with you about how he felt, and it was time to talk to you about ending this, for both your sakes. You rooming situation was complicated enough as it was, he didn't need to add his stupid crush into the mix. What if it made you uncomfortable? How could he justify his presence in your arms every night when his motive was something sinister. To get in your pants, like some freak. Pathetic. He shook away his father's voice. But he had to tell you how he felt, before one of you got hurt.

He extricated himself from you as best he could and dragged his sorry ass into the kitchen. Even though she was usually across campus at this time, Gwen stood in the kitchen, eating some pizza directly from the fridge. He threw her a greeting and pulled out his tub of Greek yogurt, which he instantly noticed was too light. It was nearly empty, and he hadn't bought a new one. Useless. He tossed the container in the garbage with unnecessary force, startling Gwen on the other side of the kitchen.

Sheepishly, he picked it out of the garbage. It was a recyclable. As he dutifully washed it out, his anger grew. The scalding water burned his hands, but the bite of it focused him. Whatever his failings last night, he had drawn one correct conclusion. He couldn't let his father dictate his every move. He could get what he wanted from him, and then leave his father alone the way he had done to Armitage for so many years. Once he had tossed out the container, he texted his father. I have decided I would like to pursue medical school. He didn't expect a response, really. But he knew that his father would read it. All that really mattered was his father paying for his education. After that, Brendol couldn't control his specialty, or residencies. He was going to be a clinical neurochemist, damnit, and his father couldn't stop him. His father probably wouldn't even notice.

Not that he didn't still fear his father, or that he suddenly stopped yearning for a "I'm proud of you, son," from him. But, he accepted with a resigned bitterness, that would probably never come. And when he wanted that approval, or affection, or anything, he had you. And Gwen and Kylo. And Millie. And that was enough, for now. But it really meant he couldn't fuck it up with you. If he lost you, and then his other roommates got weirded out, he wasn't sure where he'd turn. The guilt would eat him alive for ruining something so precious by thinking with his dick.

"You good?" Gwen asked him, noticing his outwardly unhinged behavior.

"Yeah, just. Parents," he mustered, and she nodded.

"I get it. I'm here, if you want to talk." He was touched, and nodded at her. Maybe he could really do this, rely on his little circle. They lapsed into silence again.

"You know, you should really do something about your feelings," Gwen remarked as she took a bite of her pizza. She knew him well enough to read the moment of panic that was covered by a schooled look of calm.

"What are you talking about?" Casual. Smooth. Unbothered.

"Your feelings. You know. Just tell her. Please. You are taking years off my life," she said as she rolled her eyes and stalked out of the kitchen. He was left standing there, letting his jaw drop when she turned her back. Shit, he needed to end the arrangement. If he was being this obvious, and you noticed, you'd surely feel betrayed that he didn't tell you. That he withheld something like that from you for months when you both explicitly agreed not to. He needed to talk to you, stat.

The only problem was that there was a party that night. He saw Gwen in leather pants and a silver top, and he instantly connected the dots. It was Friday. Shit. He threw on a button up, which he rolled up to his elbows, and passable slacks. Whatever. He didn't intend to stay longer than an hour, and then he had to find you and talk to you. When he left his room, Kylo was next to Gwen, wearing an oversized black bomber jacket over a black shirt and black jeans. The guy certainly had a look, Armitage had to give him that.

"Okay, I'm ready!" You called from the hallway.

The dress hugged your curves in ways that made his mouth water, accentuating all the parts of you that he tried to deny existed. He traced the expanse of your legs with his gaze, all the way from your heels up to the hem of your skirt. Before looking you in the eye, he stopped and admired your collarbone, and the faintest bit of glitter you had rubbed on it. And the curve of your neck. Gods, he could write a book about it. You had pinned your hair back in some way that he found baffling, but managed to make your features sharper, more dangerous.

So, basically, he thought you looked hot. The dress, in truth, was a bit too small. It rode up on the bottom, and the top kept slipping down whenever you lifted your arms. But no one, even you, could deny that you looked like a total smokeshow in it.

Gwen gave Armitage three seconds to process and internally drool before she started ushering you and Kylo through the door and down the hall to Finn's place. Outside your room, the bass from the party echoed through the walls, and the air was just a bit muggy from the swarm of people inside their living room. You and Gwen dashed off to greet Finn, leaving Kylo and Armitage, God help him, to mingle. Kylo made eye contact with him, and they both instantly headed to the drinks. Armitage fought his way through the crowd, feeling the pulse of the beat and the sweat in the air. After bumping into a couple almost making out, he murmured an apology and kept winding his way to his goal. Kylo just barreled through the dancing bodies, not even apologizing for almost knocking over a rather tipsy girl and her friend. Finally, they reached the kitchenette, which gave them a decent view of the entire living room, crammed full of drunk people. Armitage immediately searched the room for you, ready to find you and tell you that, actually, this was a mistake, and he wanted to go home now please. After about a minute (and a shot that Kylo had shoved in his face), he found you, with Gwen, talking to Finn. And then, oh joy of joys. 

Who would join you guys but Mitaka? Little Dopheld with his little crush on you? Armitage sneered in his direction. Not that he had any right to be possessive, he admitted. But still. Armitage was not leaving any time soon. He'd stay here until you left. Mitaka approached you, waving as the three of you added him into the conversation. Kylo had gone off to hang out with one of his acquaintances from the swim team--some tall girl with brown hair and freckles--leaving Armitage alone to seethe in the kitchen. He watched as you and Gwen laughed at something hilarious Mitaka had said. Awesome. Great. Then, the four of you turned to one of the bedrooms, and slipped into it. You lagged behind, searching the room for something. When you spotted Armitage, you waved at him, beckoning him across the oppressively loud room with a hand. He dove back into the crowd, pushing past groups of friends and couples and strangers as he found his way back to you. You cast him a smile that made the anger gripping him loosen just a bit. When you grabbed his hand and started dragging him into the bedroom, he melted, leaving his frustration behind.

The room had its floor cleared, with all the people in the room sitting in a large circle, or, rather, a lopsided oval. He wasn't quite sure why, or what was going on (Cult intiation? Drinking game?), but you sat down next to Gwen, pulling Armitage next to you. He dug his fingers into the thin, scratchy carpet when Mitaka and Gwen switched places, putting Mitaka directly to your left. Perfect. He shot a murderous look at Gwen, who had on a shit-eating grin. She knew what she was doing, and Armitage vowed to crush all her protein bars and unscrew her showerhead the next morning. Across the circle, he heard Kylo's distinct chuckle, and turned to give him the same violent look.

It appeared that they were playing some game, the exact rules of which weren't explained. Was it spin the bottle? A handsome man, Poe, he surmised from the way Finn was looking at him, spun the bottle, and it landed on Kylo. Kylo then crawled into the center and spun it. Anticipation filled the room as the light glinted over the edges of the bottle once, twice, thrice. It slowed, landing on that girl from the swimming team. Rey something. Would they kiss? That'd mean this was spin the bottle. Armitage wondered absently, his eyes still focused on you and Mitaka. Instead of just a chaste kiss, Kylo stood up and pulled Rey into the walk-in closet with a devilish grin. Ah. Seven minutes in heaven. Classic.

But fuck, you were playing. Which meant you could get into a closet with any one of these random people. Or, with a probability of 1/13, you could get him. That thought made his skin flush. You and him, in a dark closet. He imagined your hands trailing everywhere, exploring the parts of each other that your arrangement prohibited. Your skin, warm under his as he kissed along your neck. A series of cheers interrupted his fantasy, as he watched Kylo and Rey stumble out of the closet with matched blown pupils and dazed smiles. He whispered something to her, and she smiled. The pair made their exit when the crowd's cheers died down, and their attention had been drawn by the next victims. Armitage realized that the probability that you would kiss him, or do anything else except stand there awkwardly, if you were chosen, was so slim it was laughable. Pathetic, a voice echoed. Poe spun the bottle again, and Armitage started to wonder how many more spins it would take for you to get bored and finally leave so that the two of you could go home. Another spin, another couple. Mitaka whispered something to you which made you grin wolfishly, some piece of gossip that lit up your eyes. Armitage bristled. Just one more spin, and then he'd suggest leaving. Poe's hand spun the bottle, and Armitage was too busy looking at you and trying to estimate whether Mitaka was closer to you than he was, when the bottle made its choice.

It was you. You looked up at Poe, seeming to have forgotten the fact that you were playing in the first place. You glanced at Armitage, your features tightly drawn in nervousness, as you crawled to the center of the floor and spun the bottle. The bottle's glass made soft noises as it brushed against the carpet. Shk shk shk shk shk. Armitage counted the spins, 5 so far, and mentally calculated that 1/13 meant a 7.7% chance it would land on him, odds that he realized he probably wouldn't beat. Behind his back, he crossed his fingers, with one hand at first, but then with both hands. Shk shk shk. The bottle was slowing, creeping around the circle. He found himself praying. To whom, he wasn't sure. But he was praying. Shk shk. The bottle was barely turning, and, to his delight, it was turning toward him. Slowly, but surely, he was looking down the neck of the bottle. But then it kept going. Right past him, right past you.

And it landed on Mitaka.

Motherfucker.

[moonstruckme]

Oh babe I read your post about graduation and life after. I FEEL YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m graduating Friday and I pursued a film degree in a city with little to no opportunities for that industry. Don’t know why I did that. Sorry to my parents who sacrificed a lot to put me through school. Moving to a bigger city is not an option bc I can’t afford it. Might be moving back in with my parents might not be. Everyone is asking whats next for me. Girl idk. I’m stressed I’m anxious. I hate it here. The real world sucks and I just want to skip over all this character building stuff and get to the part of my life where I’m happy with a career and can actually afford groceries. Sometimes I wish my dreams weren’t as big.

Hi gorgeous! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I promise your degree has value whether you feel like you can get a job out of it right away or not, and I won't pretend to know how your parents feel but I doubt they would have sacrified anything if they didn't feel your education was worthwhile. Graduating from college is a big deal nonetheless ! We both know I'm struggling with this too but I have some pieces of advice that have been given to me and I've found helpful if you want them <3

Obviously, "almost no one works in something related to their degree" is a really disheartening thing to hear, and I bet you've been hearing it (like I have) a lot lately. But what I think the people who say that are trying to convey is that there is no shame in just doing a job that makes some money (and preferably also makes you happy), and sometimes that financial security can help you pursue your dreams with a bit more surety since you're no longer trying to find a way to eat at the same time.

A few months ago, I talked to my mom about how guilty I feel about potentially not being able to get a job relevant to my degree after she helped put me through college, and while I know not all parents feel the same way about this, I think she made some great points. She said that college is about learning how to think, and your education and the experiences you've had in college will always be valuable no matter what job you end up with. And did you have a good time? Did you like learning all those things you did about film? Did you meet some cool friends, or get to talk about your interests with people who get it? If so, none of it was wasted.

It's so, so easy to feel pressure from others when you're trying to figure out your life post-grad, but in my experience most of that pressure is really internal. People ask what's next for you because they're interested, not becuase they have any one specific path in mind, and the vast majority of the time if you seem happy, they're happy. If you're not happy, fuck it! Then your priority should probably be getting to a place where you are happy, and those conversations really don't matter when you've got bigger fish to fry.

Last thing, but as someone also struggling to re-orient herself in her life plan, I've been taking a lot of time to figure out my priorities. I kind of got stuck in this idea of what my life was going to be, and once that seemed less certain I started questioning what I wanted if I didn't have to do that. I'm making a pinterest board (always my first course of action haha), and it's helped me figure out that whatever I do, I want to be around nature and books, and to live in a mid-size city. Figuring out what I need to be happy has really put things into perspective for me, and I'm sorry I don't mean to assume we're in the exact same mental state but I just want to give you all the stuff that's been working for me in case any of it fits into your situation too.

You can still use your passion in film while working another job, or use that job to save to move to a larger city, or maybe even reflect and find that you're content keeping the film thing as a hobby and there's something else you enjoy doing for a career (I know how heartbreaking that can sound when you love something, but that's how writing has turned out for me so I just wanted to put it out there--feel free to reject it of course). For me, trying to open my mind to all the possibilities and re-evaluate what I want from the next few years has been super scary but also kind of exciting, and I hope that whatever happens for you you're able to find happiness in the big and little things. Wishing you all the best my love!

[belovedrival]

My mom’s oldest sister, my aunt D, died early Monday morning. I feel weird about it because she’d been in poor health for so long and she’d been living in assisted living, before being put on hospice a week ago so on the one hand it’s a relief. But on the other, I’m feeling guilty for not going to see her. She lived about an hour and a half away. It wasn’t that I *didn’t* want to see her; life just kept getting in the way. And now…🥺💔

She was the oldest child on my mom’s side. When my grandfather died suddenly in 1963, my grandmother was in shock. D did all the driving for the family for a couple months. She was only 16 then, and Grandpa had taught her how to drive a few months before. She was always a very independent woman. She graduated from college in 1969, and worked in education for a while, for the state. She lost her hearing as an adult, and worked in deaf services for years. She never really learned ASL; we could talk to her face to face so she could lip read. Both her sons, my cousins, are really good guys. They loved her dearly. This is going to be extra hard for them.

Mom and her remaining siblings (it’s so weird to say that) will, I think, be okay. But it’s going to be a massive adjustment. My aunt K, the second oldest, is taking it harder than the others. She’s only 18 months younger than D and the 3 youngest kids (my mom sandwiched in between her brothers) are 7+ years younger. K grew up with D; they were the “oldest”, and after losing their dad young they really helped Grandma cope. Later this week is the anniversary of Grandma’s passing. K’s birthday is next week. I just feel so badly for her, and all of them.

Feeling meh. My sinuses kicked up last week, so I’m in month three of dealing with snot, a runny nose, and carrying around a box of tissues. And while going to aunt D’s visitation and funeral was always going to happen, I told Mister that I’ve already gone to one funeral this year (my bestie’s, in January), and now here’s another. It’s just a lot. I know it’s a tall order, but can the rest of 2024 PLEASE not totally suck? I expect some level of suckage, but gimme a break.

Good things: Jonas keeps growing. And since we’re in official Fake Spring here in the Midwest, he can play outside a lot. Sunshine is good. I didn’t mind the snowstorm on Friday (practically all of it’s gone now, ha), because we needed the moisture. His birthday is coming in a couple weeks and because we’re crazy we’re having a little party for him outside. Under a pavilion at the local farm, which he LOVES. Hopefully it won’t be pouring buckets of rain that Saturday. Winter! You never know what happens here! ❄️🌱🌞🌧️

Oh, and I officially registered Jonas for preschool this autumn so he’ll need to be potty trained by August. Send help 😄

One of these days, I want to update my dormant fics. But it’s not because I’ve lost interest that they’re dormant…I can barely find time to get normal stuff done.

I want to end on a good note. Hmmmm, Downton Abbey is coming back!? Well, I’ll take it 😊

Love you all. Drink water, hug your loved ones, and get out in the sunshine when you can.

[babeyvenus]

My Future

Derek Hale x OC

Samantha, Stiles and Scott are always joking about the impossible. Who wouldn't when your best friend's dad is the sheriff of Beacon Hills? All jokes stop when they realize the impossible is indeed possible.

Chapter 57: Alex?

At a recent crime scene, the Sheriff examined the vehicle and saw the claw marks on the hood of a wrecked car.

His fingertips ghosted the marks as he sighed and started to head over to where his trouble making kids were.

Stiles was getting an arm cast on his right arm, wincing as the man tightened it and placed it on him properly. Only Scott and Sam were the unhurt ones, but pretended like they had killer headaches.

"What in the hell," the trio turned, and saw the Sheriff headed toward them. "Were you three thinking?"

Scott shrugged, slightly smiling. "We were just trying to help."

"Why don't you try and help me understand what the hell happened?", Sheriff asked.

"Right, well," Stiles started. "We were trying to gently persuade him to pull over."

Sheriff furrowed his eyebrows at his son. Stiles raised his brows as Scott explained what happened, only droning on as he realized he terrified the poor man with his werewolf looks.

Sheriff raised an eyebrow at Scott who had a guilty smile plastered on his face. Sam shook her head and turned to the sheriff.

"He was trying to get away?", she asked. 

"He got away." Sheriff stated.

"Right," Stiles nodded. "Because obviously, he's some sort of criminal mastermind, Dad!"

The trio watched as the Sheriff led them towards the back of the van that the man was driving.

"You wanna guess what the stolen merchandise is?", he asked, opening the back doors and showed them gas tanks.

Scott sighed in disappointment, already knowing what they were.

Stiles, on the other hand, started mindlessly guessing. "Critical life saving medical equipment?"

Sheriff pointed a finger at his son. "No."

"Poison gas?"

Noah shook his head. "Nope."

Stiles thought for a bit. "Is it filled with drugs?"

The sheriff leaned forward for dramatic effect. "Helium."

Sam and Stiles looked at him in confusion. 

"Hel-lium?", Stiles asked, incredulously. His father nodded and shooed them away, dismissing their suspicions about the "culprit".

The trio disappointedly headed towards the Jeep, got inside and drove off.

"Well, now I feel ridiculous.", Sam muttered as she looked out the window. 

Scott smiled from the driver's seat. "Maybe this is a good thing."

"That we saved helium?", Stiles asked, making Scott and Sam chuckle.

"I mean that… they don't need us anymore.", Scott corrected. Sam snorted in dismissal. "Okay."

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, they need us. They just don't know it."

"We're all going off to college soon so Beacon Hills is gonna have to survive without us." Scott said.

"Beacon Hills would burn to the ground without us.", Stiles determined.

"He's got a point, Scotty.", Sam agreed from the backseat.

"Stiles," Scott looked at him and Stiles returned his look with raised eyebrows.

Scott frowned, focusing back on the road. "They don't need us."

Stiles didn't respond. Only until his phone vibrated, indicating that his father needed him for something. 

Being right, he waved his phone in Scott's face with a smile. "They need us!"

They learned that the boy's parents were missing and they were having trouble locating his family, which is why they were called there.

The trio showed up to the sheriff's office, seeing

Liam and Hayden had brought a boy named Alex to the Sheriff's Office.

Stiles stared at the boy. He reminded him of him and how the Darach had taken his father. He was distraught and scared. 

They were willing and determined to help the boy in any way necessary.

Scott knelt down beside Alex and placed his hand on the back of his shoulder.

"You ready?", Scott asked him and Alex nodded, taking a small breath as Scott flicked out his claws, and pricked them in the back of the boy's neck.

Alex instantly grunted in pain, as he tried to endure the pain of Scott's claws while his memory resurfaced just by a bit. Scott tried and finally found the memory that he needed.

After a few moments, a terrified Scott stumbled away from Alex, gasping. Sam and Stiles caught him, concerned.

"What happened?", Sam asked and glanced at the younger boy.

Stiles turned to Scott. "What'd you see?"

"I saw a guy on a horse.", Scott responded.

"Horse?", Stiles asked, confused.

"He had a gun.", Sco5t described.

"Okay," Sheriff started. "A guy with a gun… that sounds like my department. Not yours."

"Okay, then, what about his parents? What happened to them?", Sam asked. "I don't know," Scott shook his head. "That's all I can remember…"

"They're coming back." Alex spoke suddenly, lifting his head to stare at them. 

The next day, the trio brought Lydia to the abandoned car in the junkyard. Stiles and Sam sat in the back of the car, waiting for her to also gain a sense of death.

She couldn't, and had Lydia walk over to the car. She touched the windshield, closing her eyes tightly.

Once she couldn't get a feeling, she took her hands off and opened her eyes before opening the car door, and sat in the driver's side.

Her hands glided up onto the wheel, gripping it firmly and she closed her eyes once more.

After a moment, she opened her eyes, looking at her reflection in the rearview mirror and sighed, catching Sam and Stiles' attention. "What?", Stiles rushed.

"This is a perfect shade for me.", Lydia cooed, patting at her eyeshadow. "Forget the name."

Sam gave her an unamused expression. "Really?"

Stiles blinked at the strawberry blonde. "Can we please stay on topic here?", he asked as Scott went to the front of the car.

"I'm not getting anything.", Lydia said. They paused as they heard a coyote howling, knowing it was Malia.

Lydia got out, grabbing Malia's clothes. The werecoyote jumped over a junk pile, moved over to the car and morphed back into her human form.

Her eyes were still glowing blue and slowly dimmed back to brown. "I don't think they're dead.", Lydia said to her.

"They're dead. Probably torn apart.", Malia said for sure as she got dressed. "The only thing I don't get is why there's no blood."

"They're not dead. If they were dead, I'd sense it.", Lydia said and Sam agreed.

"If they were alive, I'd smell it.", Malia countered. "But I'm not getting anything either.", Scott said.

Stiles turned to look at him. "Scott, what are you talking' about? You were in his head for four minutes. I timed it."

"Well, it's not an exact science. And he's a kid. Maybe, he's too freaked out to remember."

"Okay, so what about the horseman?", Sam asked. Stiles nodded. "See? There's something, okay? And his parents were taken."

Malla sighed. "Why does it matter if they're dead? Dead is dead."

"Okay, if it's just a robbery, we can't help them. And if it's something supernatural, my dad can't help them.", Stiles countered.

Lydia narrowed her eyes at him. "It sounds like you want it to be supernatural."

"It's been, like, three months since anything's happened.", Stiles shrugged.

"And we couldn't take a break during those months because you were too busy trying to be a busybody.", Sam countered.

"And I'm not some sort of supernatural metal detector.", Lydia shot back at Stiles.

"Okay, okay. But you can't tell me that you think this is just some series of impossible coincidences?"

Lydia scoffed. "What I'm saying is maybe normality wouldn't be so bad."

She left with Malia and the trio sighed. Sam walked over to the car and opened the driver's door once more and sat in the seat. 

"Nothing's making any sense. Even if they are dead, where could their bodies have gone?", Sam muttered.

Scott didn't respond as he looked at the car as well.

Sam glanced at him as he stared back at her. Well, not at her but the broken windshield.

Stiles walked up to the quiet boy and looked at what he was looking at. "What?", Sam asked.

Stiles nodded. "You're being weird, staring at a broken windshield.", Stiles told Scott.

Scott didn't take his eyes off of it. "There's something wrong with it.", Scott said. "It's broken." 

Sam and Stiles nodded, trying to understand his obvious statement.

"And it wasn't a magic bullet. It was a regular bullet. That blew out a regular windshield.", Scott specified. He looked at all the other cars in the junkyard.

"Just like that one, and that one," Scott pointed and noticed they all had the same type of damage. "And that one."

Stiles looked at the cars as well, turning back to look at the windshield and noticed a shard of glass that was lightly illuminating.

He picked up the glass, gazing over it. "Magic bullet.", he whispered. The next morning at school, it was picture day and Malia was trying to get her picture taken by Sydney.

Smiling wide, she was ready until Stiles stepped in the photo taking. "Malia, so...", Stiles spoke as the flash went off and he turned and gave an apologetic smile to Sydney. "My bad, sorry, go ahead, look pretty.", he told Malia.

He backed out and Malla smiled again and before Sydney took the picture, Stiles jumped in again.

Malia frowned at him. "That was a good one."

Other students in line watched Malia try to get a picture but Stiles kept jumping in. After four more failed attempts, Malla snapped. "Stiles!"

Sydney paused, looking at him in irritation. "You're still in the photo."

Stiles heard the other students talking and groaning in annoyance. "Sorry.", he apologized before Sam pulled him by the arm and tugged him away.

Malia grunted, getting off of the stool and walked over to the table where Scott and Lydia were. "You ruined it.", Malia said.

"Why would I want to ruin your yearbook photo?", Stiles asked as she sat on the table.

"Maybe because you haven't signed up for your own photo yet?", Sam said. 

"Yes, I did.", Stiles disagreed, pulling out his form and turning it, showing it to the girls so they could see.

They looked at the paper, then looked at him with uncertainty in their eyes. "It's blank.", they say.

Confused, Stiles looked down, seeing the paper blank and his eyes widened in disbelief.

He remembered filling out the paper, but the ink of his pen was no longer on the paper. "Uh…"

"Or maybe you're sublimating the stress of graduating by avoiding key milestones." Scott chimed in, glancing up at Stiles.

Stiles, Sam, Lydia and Malia looked at him in confusion. "Psych paper.", Scott explained.

Lydia nodded. "Oh."

"Hey, the Deputy searched the car.", Stiles gaining their attention. "No slugs, no exit hole. And the address Alex gave my dad, it's an abandoned house."

Sam, Lydia, Malia, and Scott all glanced at one another. "Come on! Missing parents, suspicious guy on horseback, magic bullet. Who's comin' with?", Stiles asked.

Malia spoke up. "I've got to retake my photos.

Lydia shook her head. "Yeah, not interested."

Scott shook his head. "I cannot miss any more classes."

"Scott." Stiles said, disappointed. "I missed thirty-eight last semester.", Scott said.

"Scott."

"And Lydia's mom is the only reason I'm still in school." Scott nodded. "I can go after school.", he promised.

"You know what? Forget it. I'll take Liam." Stiles glanced up and over at the bench where he saw Liam and paused, gaining his friends' attention to see  Liam was on the bench with Hayden, kissing heavily.

Stiles shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not taking Liam."

Sam sighed, a smile appearing on her face. "I'll go with you.", she said and Stiles' face turned into a grin as he snapped his attention to her.

"Hey, can I get a candid?", Sydney came up to the teens with a smile.

Stiles shook his head. "Uh, no."

Sam nudged his arm and his best friends pulled him towards the table, having him sit in between Lydia and Scott. "Okay, fine."

Sam sat behind three with Malia as Sydney readied her camera.

Stiles reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue shard of glass. "If you can explain to me why this is blue, I'll let it go.", Stiles said, giving it to Scott frowned in curiosity as he took it into his hand. 

"Everyone smile.", Sydney said. Everyone sat closer and Sam put bunny ears over the boys' heads.

Later that day, Stiles and Sam stood out in the hall as Scott went to ask about the shard. "I meant to ask– why'd you take that shard with you?", Sam asked the boy.

Stiles shrugged.

She frowned. "Is something new happening that you're not saying?"

"Maybe," Stiles hushed.

Before Sam could question, Scott quickly exited the classroom, rushing to his friends. "Thirty-nine?", Stiles asked. 

Scott nodded. "Thirty-nine."

"Yes.", Stiles cheered, and led his friends out of the double doors.

"Okay, new question. Why are we always leaving in the middle of the day?", Sam asked.

"It's our thing. We always do that.", Scott stated.

"Yeah, but we kinda messed up our Sophomore year doing that shit too.", Sam emphasized with wide eyes. "We missed out on so much because of everything that was happening."

"But we're not Sophomores anymore, we're Seniors.", Stiles said.

"Exactly my point. We miss any more classes and we may not even attend prom. Or graduate and I dunno about y'all but I want to graduate.", Sam said.

Stiles smiled. "And we will. And solve mysteries along the way, now c'mon!", he said, pulling her further.

Before they could escape the school, the trio stopped, seeing an irritated and disappointed Natalie Martin.

"Neither one of you are going anywhere.", she said and rounded on Scott. "Thirty-eight classes, Scott. I had to beg the superintendent."

"Mrs. Martin, Scott is the sworn protector of Beacon Hills.", Stiles tried to bargain.

Mrs. Martin shook her head, pushing her students back in the school. "He can protect it at 3:30. Now, get to class. Sam, please make sure they attend their classes.", Natalie told her.

Sam gave Stiles a knowing look. "I told you."

Stiles grumbled as they walked away. "We're not waiting until 3:30."

Instead, they waited until their last class, watching an old documentary in World History. Stiles annoyingly, and impatiently sat in his seat while Scott and Sam gave a quiet chuckle at his impatience.

After a couple of minutes, Sam fell asleep.

Her eyes opened to see an empty darkened road. It wasn't her usual clearing or the usual wide, and open view of the moon staring back at her.

This area was foggy, almost. As she turned around, she could feel a patterned thumping coming towards her.

It wasn't like skipping, but… galloping…

It was getting closer. Close enough to where she could hear the clopping sound of horseshoes. She dove into a nearby bush and waited to see who was coming.

It was indeed a horse, but atop it was a man dressed in dark weird clothing. Like a dark cowboy…

He slowed his horse down as he looked around as if he were looking for Sam. She was ready to back away from the horseman only to be awakened by Stiles shaking her awake.

The class was over and it was finally time to go. 

Sam felt disturbed once they left the school. It was unnerving.

The memory was almost washed after the trio arrived at Alex's abandoned house.

Looking at Alex's swing made her feel bad. How old was Alex? What was his relationship like with his parents? What happened here??

Stiles handed Scott a flashlight, leading his friends up to the house.

Once they got to the porch,  Scott reached for the door handle, ready to rip it off until he twisted the knob and the door easily opened, making the trio frown in suspicion.

He turned the knob, pushing in the door and it creaked open, as Scott looked around inside.

The boys led Sam around the empty house and inspected each room.

All of them were practically empty. Scott, uneasy, turns to his friends. "You wanna split up?"

"Uh, absolutely not.", Stiles shook his head. Sam's eyes widened at Scott as she muttered. "What type of stupid ass question…", she trailed off as she felt a sensation toward a dusty spiral staircase, similar to Derek's and walked over to it.

The boys watched her before following her. "Uh, are you seeing something we aren't?", Stiles asked.

Sam didn't say anything, but her eyebrows furrowed. She needed to find this feeling. A sense of dread. And it was only in one part of the house.

Why?

"Uh, hello? I thought you said no splitting? Sam?", Stiles called as they followed her down a hallway to a door.

"What's wrong with this door?", Scott asked.

"Maybe Alex got the address wrong.", Scott muttered.

"Or he lied.", Stiles suggested.

"Why would he lie?", Scott said as Sam inspected the door.

"I don't think he did…", Sam mumbled, staring at the door as it illuminated with spots. 

Stiles grabbed the knob, turning it slowly and opened it up, seeing a bright, colorful room. There was a nicely made bed with the covers folded neatly, the floor was cleaned, and there were pictures and toys that were set up.

"Why didn't the cops say anything about this?", Scott asked, glancing around.

Stiles turned off his flashlight, turning to Scott. "They don't know it's here. They can't come here without a warrant, and there's no owner of record to serve a warrant to. So unless there's some kind of threat or imminent danger, they wouldn't come in."

Scott nodded and suddenly turned his head, staring out into the hall. Stiles and Sam's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"I think I heard something.", Scott replied, leaving the room. Sam almost followed him. "If you hear something, you better say something!", she warned.

Stiles caught her attention as he stared at some pictures. "What's wrong?", she asked. His eyebrows furrowed. "Alex… he's alone in every picture.", he replied, making her look at the pictures herself. 

She picked up one picture and inspected it and he was right. Alex was alone.

She turned around and saw Stiles looking at the bed.

"What?", she asked.

"You didn't hear that?", he asked her. Her shoulders dropped, exasperated. "Look, now–"

Stiles shook his head as he moved around the bed. "I heard it. I promise I heard it."

He got down on his knees, grabbing the sheets of the bed and pulled up for him to see.

Sam waited until he would tell her what he saw, only to hear him breathing heavily in panic as he shot up.

He looked out the windows before looking at her. "Did… Did you see that?"

Sam frowned and pointed a finger at him. "That's enough crazy shit for today. He's hearing something and apparently you just saw something I didn't see. What the hell is going on?", she asked, leaving the room.

"Yeah, we need to go," Stiles got up onto his feet. "We need to go. Now.", he said, following her. They only stop as the sound of wind whirred behind them.

They paused and Sam looked at Stiles with wide eyes. "What the hell was that?" She looked over his shoulder and her heart dropped. "Stiles.", she called, warningly and he turned around to see what she was seeing. 

It was the same figure from her dream. Why was he here? Were there more?

Before they could move anymore, the man reached for his side, drawing out a gun and Sam growled.

The cowboys aimed at her and her eyes widened. "No!", Stiles yelled as he watched the man's trigger finger.

Stiles quickly pulled the girl aside, quick enough to dodge the bullet. 

Stiles pulled her into safety, taking cover from the oncoming bullets. The more bullets that came the more pressured Sam felt and Stiles could only watch in panic as his vision became dark.

Was he dead? Did he get shot and he couldn't feel it?

He couldn't have because he was still hearing his own panicked breaths and someone else's.

Sam.

He felt a body next to him, but it was dark. All until a shaded light flashed over his vision. It was like he was seeing through sunglasses, except he was in one big glass. The bullets stopped. The room was quiet.

He looked at Sam who looked around in trembling shock. He pressed his hand against the darkened barrier. It was cold. He turned back to her as she slumped against the barrier. "You- you made a forcefield?", he asked.

Sam shrugged, still shocked. "I guess so."

They heard heavy footsteps rushing up to them as they saw Scott and Liam. "What the hell happened!?", Scott asked. 

The two werewolves could only see a 6 foot tall black ball, similar to a life sized magic 8 ball. They couldn't see their friends, but the bullet holes and damages in the room was enough to set them in panic.

In the barrier, Stiles banged his fists on the wall and turned to Sam. She dropped the barrier, causing Stiles to stumble and shocking her fellow werewolves.

Sam's hands shook as she looked at Scott, Liam and Mason.

Stiles looked at Scott who was looking for an answer. "He was here.", Stiles explained. "He shot at us. The guy you saw in his memory."

"The guy who took his parents?", Mason questioned.

Stiles shook his head. "No, no, no. They weren't just taken. They were– they were made to disappear. That's why there's no furniture, that's why they weren't in any of the photos."

He took a deep breath. "They were erased."

Everyone stayed silent.

[irregardlessly-tish]

Hi, I just want to rant about something personal…

So, when I was two years old I met at kindergarten the person who would be my best friend through all my school years and a couple years after we both graduated… She went to college, I went to art school which then I dropped out but we still messaged each other almost every day. Near the end of her last year she wouldn't message me too much, it was mostly me messaging first, I understood she was busy with exams and sometimes I'd tell her stuff such as "Hey, if my messages bother you just let me know/you don't need to reply right away, it's fine" I'd get insecure, feel like I was bothering her and she would reassure me and say things like "Don't worry, I'll always have time for you!" until one day, she just stopped replying, she ghosted me for around two years or maybe a little more…

I felt pretty fucking bad during that time period, she was my only irl friend, I never had many friends and after ending highschool and my mental health deteriorated it was even harder to make new friends and maintain the ones I had. I tried to contact her but she just didn't reply and I felt I was making it worse, felt that maybe I was just too fucking much or too fucking annoying or whatever that she didn't even wanted to tell it to my face and ghosting me was the best option. Still, it hurt me a lot that she would say that she'd almost have time for me and that I wasn't annoying her, like why would she lie like that and make me think that everything was fine? I spent so much time beating myself up for fucking up our friend ship, I felt so useless, so guilty for doing something that I didn't even realize was so bad that she had no other choise but to ghost me.

And then one day she messages me here, on tumblr even tho she had an account she never used. She said she'd have texted me but she didn't have my number (it was still the same number I had always had, I didn't change it in all those years), I was a bit hesitant but if she wanted to reconnect, then why not? Maybe I'd have closure or something, I don't know. We started talking a bit, at first she would talk like nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened until I asked her why she had stopped talking to me. She gave me basically a "It's not you, it's me" kind of response. She said that she wasn't mentally in a right place and had stopped messaging me and her friend from college (mind you, she hadn't blocked me on social media so I saw she was haging out with ex highschool classmates, classmates who, by the way, bullied me and even tried to spread rumors about me, stuff like me being secretly a lesbian and trying to seduce her to get her to stop being my friend. So, she wasn't in the right mental state to hang out with me and another friend, but she was in the right state to hang out with those other friends of hers). Still, I didn't question it, I didn't know what she was going on internally so I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I told her, though, how I had felt, how I thought I had done something wrong and that I felt guilty for a long time, blaming myself for whatever had happened that made her stop talking to me. She said she was sorry, it was just a moment in her life where she wanted to focus on her career but that she had missed me a lot and wanted to be friends again. There were many other things I wanted to say, a part of me wanted to make her feel as bad as I had felt, tell her that she knew I wasn't mentally in a right place either and she chose to ignore me, making me feel worse than I was already feeling, tell her about me cutting and trying to kill myself, about me overdosing and being in a coma for two weeks, I wanted to make her feel guilty… But I didn't, I didn't tell her how bad for two years had been for me because I knew it wasn't fair. I was very resentful, but thought that this was a chanse to left all those bad feelings behind and maybe continue our friendship were we had left it.

We hung out one afternoon, a couple of days after her messaging me asking for my number, we talked some more about life (I never went in too deep about how bad I had been), at the end she hugged me tight and said she was so happy to see me again, telling me once more how much she had missed me. This was February 2022. That was the last time I saw her or ever heard from her. She never messaged me back after that. Again, the feelings of guilt, the sensation of doing something wrong that I didn't even know what was came back, I wanted to hurt myself, feeling like I was a piece of shit who didn't even deserve love, deserve to have friends because I was so stupidly useless I didn't even know how to have friends. Months passed and I began to think different, I wasn't the one to blame for "our friendship not working", she was the one who wasn't putting any effort into it. She was the one saying she missed me while still hanging out with people who bullied me and talked shit about me in front of her.

A couple of days ago, I saw her dad at the park, we were both walking our dogs. I didn't thought he would even recognize me since we hadn't seen each other since I was a highschooler but he did and he greeted me. We talked for a bit, just asking how everything was, nothing too deep. The next day, she messaged me again, this time on instagram. I didn't open the message, I've decided, even if she comes back crawling, saying again she misses me or whatever, I don't want to be her friend, even if she promises she won't disappear on me again, at this point I don't care, I can't have someone so unreliable in my life, my mental health is already bad as it is... so today I decided to block her on everything, I just don't care any more.

That's all, I just wanted to get it out of my chest...

[kyglow]

starter for @brckensociety muse: colton for: stevie, avery, hazel, maddox scream based.

" i told you we shouldn't be seeing each other. we shouldn't be in the same room. why do you think i am down here in the basement hiding from you? " the older male would state as he scowled at her with an annoyed expression only to then turn away as he could already feel the strange allure rushing right through as he if he were drawn immediately to her presence. colton of course felt guilty when he had fingered her behind his cabin in the dark while fireworks were going off only to let her go when heard her boyfriend calling out to her. the cop knew it was most unwise to be around the chaotic individual especially since he was a father himself needing to set boundaries act more mature and while unfortunately having more responsibilities. there was always that looming threat she could expose him for touching her that night to ruin his reputation of being the town's good cop.

the male standing at the opposite side of the table would lean back down aiming the end of the pool cue at the white ball only to then take his shot and - - miss. a sigh left his mouth when he placed the pool cue down. " you know i was doing great until you showed up. so what is it that you want from me? cause whatever it is i'll save you the time by saying ' no i am not interested ' " purposely was blunt and cold with her as he was trying to prevent himself from falling into temptation. studying her with his head tilted a little he would then remind her of current events that were happening. " you do realise you should be back home after all there's a curfew and a killer on the loose. you should be more careful. " colton wasn't working on the case of the ghostface killer however he was off duty and quietly working on those he suspected of being the killer often turning up to the places of where the murder had occurredd as he was becoming secretly obsessed again as back in the 90s when he was in college colton's friend stu had been exposed as being responsible for being ghostface and the murders he had committed yet colton always believed that sidney had set him up suspecting she was the real killer.

[toapaixonar]

re: lydia + the teen wolf movie. i'll have a verse where i oblige with the movie's canon, but as of right now, in lydia's main verse, here are some important things to note about her post-canon:

after graduating, lydia leaves beacon hills and goes to live with her mom in a small town in california (i'm leaning towards sausalito or carmel by the sea). they do this so that lydia can see a therapist and have time to properly heal and process the abuse she suffered in eichen house. also so that they can financially recover from all the hospital visits that lydia had to face throughout the show's canon.

lydia does end up going to uni, but she does not leave the state because they could not afford it (even with her getting scholarships due to her grades). she also has a special permission not to live in the dorms, terrified that she might wake up screaming and become a freak at university too. her years in college are rough and she feels absolutely disconnected from everybody, but she does not know how to create bonds with people who do not know who she is.

her relationship with stiles does not last because they are not in love with each other. they have been, in different points of time, but timing is not on their side. they are, however, best friends and always will be because they are each other's anchors (this is something i have developed with @notsolved throughout the last few years)

lydia ends up choosing to pursue a career in psychology, so that other supernatural people have a chance to talk about their traumas and experiences without ending up in places like eichen or being haunted. she also does it because she wants to help people, since she cannot do it with her powers.

she never properly learns how to tap into her powers. she tries and takes several trips to europe and other places, gets in touch with other families of hunters with chris' help, but there is not a lot of information. she never seeks out other banshees, however, still feeling guilty because of meredith. she also rarely uses her powers again. she does allow herself to tune into the voices (much like in the movie), but her screams/wails and fighting? she is terrified of doing it and killing someone again.

she pushes the pack away because she is always scared of losing the people she loves. which is funny because her biggest fear is being alone but she isolates herself. she is also closer to the younger pack than the older pack by the time she gets her degree, seeing as they all went through college around the same time and it is easier to be friends with them since they didn't see her fail to save her best friend/seeing as she can keep them at arms' length more easily. this is all subject to plotting, however.

she never comes back to beacon hills permanently. the only way she would return is if the pack asked for her help, especially scott. she also visits to see allison's grave. at first, she would go on her birthday, her death anniversary and the holidays. but then it got too hard and too painful so now she goes only once a year. as she grows older, she stops visiting it and chooses to remember allison other places that do not bring her as much pain.

i do not think lydia and jackson would be best friends after everything they went through in season 2. she does love him more than words, but she also knows their relationship was unhealthy and she would keep her distance from him. i could forgive their hug in season 6 because lydia was still young but after that? they do not become best friends. jackson put her through hell and, again, she will always love him because he is her first love, but she also knows they need to go their separate ways. they are civil, however, because she is friendly with ethan (they talk every year on aiden's birthday & death anniversary)