#and because of that they had a similar path as children they normalized a lot of fucked up things without noticing

[lastdivantruther]

abusing my newly found camera and sharing some sketches i drew lately

[antianakin]

”I can see the original intention [of the Jedi Order's no attachment rule] was to not be possessive or clingy. I take issue with the idea that a toddler's love for their caregivers falls there. It seems more like the people making that kind of demand are toxic.”

I'm guessing this is a reference to how the Jedi prefer not to provide training to those who've reached a certain age. Thoughts?

I mean. A toddler is generally considered a kid from the ages of 1 to 3 years old. The Jedi don't seem to have any issues taking in kids in that age range and, in fact, that seems to be the most NORMAL age range for when they adopt children. I don't know precisely where this information comes from, but my understanding was that the age cut-off for adoption was around 5 years old, which is two whole years beyond when a child would be considered a toddler. Anakin himself is NINE, now six years beyond being a toddler, when he's declared too old. So I think we've already got an issue with this statement given that, if we're specifically discussing the Jedi's policy about age cut-offs for adoption, they have zero issue with toddlers and specifically adopt toddlers BECAUSE there's less issues with adjustment to the Jedi lifestyle at that age.

But if we set that weirdness aside and pretend that they just meant any child's love for their parent regardless of how old said child is, I still think there's a fundamental misunderstanding of the issue here. It's not that the child's love for their caregivers (presumably their biological parents most of the time) is automatically already an attachment and that's why the Jedi won't take in kids older than a certain age. The problem is that the child, once they've reached a certain age, is going to struggle a little bit more with that separation because that connection becomes really important once you've made it. It's not impossible, obviously, just harder. It could cause the child some pain upon separation and the Jedi then have to consider whether the child will benefit enough from Jedi training to make that pain worthwhile in the long run. The other issue is that the child likely has started to learn certain things that don't work very well with the Jedi way of life and so the child is then going to have to UNLEARN those things. Again, not an impossible task, it just makes the path to becoming a Jedi more difficult for an older child than for one who was raised as a Jedi from a younger age and never had to unlearn anything first.

The question the Jedi tend to face when they have to choose whether to adopt older children or not is whether the child is going to actually be happy as a Jedi or not, and whether the child might in fact be happier in a life more similar to the one they're already familiar with. They have to consider whether this child might be happier staying with the family they've already connected to and whether the separation from that family is going to be more distressing for the child than the rejection. Being a Jedi is not at all an easy path. It can be a really rewarding and satisfying path, obviously, and plenty of Jedi seem very happy in the life they've chosen, but that doesn't make it easy. So if it seems like the child in question isn't really going to find any happiness as a Jedi because of a prior connection to a caregiver or because the behaviors and worldviews they've already learned are incompatible with the Jedi lifestyle, it doesn't make a lot of sense to try to force them down that path anyway. It's just going to make everyone unhappy.

And this is where the attachment things come in to play because if that child DOES end up becoming a Jedi anyway, those struggles probably just mean it's a little more likely that the child will struggle with attachment down the line than a Jedi child brought in earlier might.

So it's not that the Jedi think the child's love is CURRENTLY an attachment so much as they have to consider whether the child's connection to another caregiver is going to cause them enough distress when they're separated that it could create greater issues with attachment later on than the child would have had otherwise.

And this is why I personally don't think Anakin would've ever been happy as a Jedi, even in a world where Palpatine gets murdered during TPM and Anakin never gets manipulated against the Jedi. I think the separation from his mother is something he struggles with and that there are signs that Anakin has already learned behaviors that are going to make the Jedi lifestyle difficult for him in a way that it isn't for someone like Obi-Wan or Ahsoka. I think Anakin is always going to want a specific kind of relationship that the Jedi simply do not provide, and while I think he wants to help people, he also wants to help them in his own way (when and where and how he wants) and chafes at the limitations the Jedi work with. Anakin's upbringing means that the Jedi way of life is never TRULY going to work for him in the long run. If he'd been found as a toddler, he would've probably been fine, but he wasn't.

I'm not sure what kind of "demand" this person is referencing, I assume the idea is that the Jedi demand that the child give up all connection to their original families/caregivers or something, which isn't even precisely canon. There's a pair of twins in TCW. Both Depa and Adi have family members in the Order that show up in the films. In Legends, Plo Koon has a niece in the Order. And we see multiple Jedi engaging in the culture of their birth planet in different ways (clothing, tattoos, alternate religious connections), so it doesn't really make sense that the Jedi would allow that but not allow their members to reconnect with their birth families if they chose to. Even with Anakin, there's no actual indication that he wasn't ALLOWED to see Shmi or try to contact her at all. He never indicates that that's why he hasn't gone back, Obi-Wan never tells him anything like that when the subject is brought up. The only reason it's kind-of an issue later in AOTC is because he's actively abandoning a mission he's already on in order to go see her. There isn't even any particularly negative reaction from the Council when they discover he's on Tatooine nor any indication he was ever disciplined for that. Which leaves one conclusion: If Anakin didn't go see his mother, then it's because he CHOSE not to go see his mother, not because the Jedi demanded it.

If the "demand" is that the Jedi just simply not show love to anybody, then I think enough people have discussed how that just plain isn't true and doesn't make any sense, so I won't get into that.

I don't think it's toxic for the Jedi to recognize that older children have a more difficult time adapting to their lifestyle and that this can lead to further pain and issues in the long run. I don't think it's toxic for the Jedi to be able to recognize the signs that an older child is not ready to adapt to the Jedi way of life and refuse to adopt them into it. I don't think it's toxic for the Jedi to understand that a little bit of pain from the rejection in the moment could spare the child a lot of pain in the future.

Our best example of this is, obviously, Anakin himself. The Council are 100% RIGHT about Anakin. While Palpatine obviously does manipulate Anakin away from Jedi teachings to some degree, he's also primarily just exacerbating issues that Anakin already has. Anakin struggles his entire life as a Jedi with attachments to people (he obsesses over Padme for TEN YEARS despite not seeing her once in that time). Anakin struggles with respecting the Council's authority for his entire life as a Jedi and literally passes on that disrespect to his own Padawan almost immediately. Anakin admits to believing his personal feelings are more important than his ideals when speaking to Padme and the way he speaks to Obi-Wan during the reveal of his history with Satine implies the same feeling. Anakin explicitly chooses to live a secret double life because he wants things that the Jedi lifestyle simply does not offer him and does not allow. Anakin has either discussed wanting to leave the Order with his own Padawan, or he's just so obviously about wanting to leave the Order that his own Padawan has picked up on it without him having to say it out loud (and if Ahsoka's picked up on it in the like... year and a half that she's known him, then you can be damn sure that Obi-Wan is aware of it and so are Yoda and Mace probably). Anakin struggles with being a Jedi THE ENTIRE TIME HE IS ONE and barely even wants to be a Jedi most of the time. The Jedi's lifestyle is a bad match for him and the struggle to adjust to it as well as the separation from his mother causes him pain for the rest of his life.

My personal theory for why the Council ultimately took him in despite their reservations is because the return of the Sith got confirmed and so protecting Anakin as a Force sensitive child became a priority. Training him as a Jedi would've seemed like the best way to protect him, and Anakin did risk his life to help save the people of Naboo, so it's not like he has none of the qualities it takes to be a Jedi and they choose to take a chance on him. Just because that choice goes badly doesn't necessarily mean it was the wrong one to make in the moment, either. Much like many of the choices the Jedi are forced into making in the Prequels, all available choices kind-of stink and they have to do the best they have with the information they've got in front of them.

All of that to say, the Jedi aren't arguing that a child's love for their caregiver is toxic and selfish, that's not the reason they tend to refuse to adopt children over a certain age.

[anqelically]

you don't get to cry | osamu dazai x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

content: no manga spoilers, angst, death, blood, past unhealthy relationship with dazai

navi | bsd masterlist

attachment to something you hold dear is a curse. it becomes your weakness, something that can be both exposed and exploited. the demon prodigy of the port mafia had no weakness. that was until you came along.

what dazai learns to love is lost— taken away and gone forever. why must he live in a world that does such? living such a life becomes nothing but a pain; a thorn in your side that’ll make you relieved once it’s out.

oh, you were all too similar to him.

when dazai first stumbled upon you, he had only been in the port mafia for a couple of months. a young child taken in by mori and hidden away from everyone else, that’s all you were.

you were sitting, gloved hands playing with a toy when he walked into your room (it was more like a cell). you thought it was mori, so you dared to look him in the eye. normally, you’d kill anyone who got a good look at you, but you found yourself unable to activate your ability.

so you ended up screaming.

with your nails painfully scratching your cheeks, you yelled, even when it hurt to. mori rushed to you, trying to subdue your cries when your eyes lit up. if it weren’t for dazai, he was sure he would’ve died that day. and you, the child taken away from your guardians and forced to serve under mori, would’ve been his killer.

you didn’t see dazai again for years. the next time she showed up, it was with an orange-haired boy that seemed his age, maybe a bit younger. he came to fetch you because mori told him you had a job to do.

a job? you don’t get anything in return. this was a task you had to carry out. if you didn’t, mori made it clear he’d slit your throat with one of the scalpels he always carries around. you were just another kid forced into a life of bloodshed and death through manipulation. dazai was just the other side of the same coin.

he seemed to deal with it much better than you did. his blood was as black as his clothes, stained with the crimes he had committed with such ease. cunning and manipulative, dazai was a force to be reckoned with.

so it was odd that the two of you somewhat began to get along. you worked in the shadows of the port mafia, so much so that a lot of members didn’t believe you actually existed. the only one that knew you— your name, ability, and could see through your mind was dazai. the two of you were children of darkness, locked in a room stripped of any light.

with someone so similar to him, dazai found the capacity to genuinely care for you. you, mori’s toy, also learned that you didn’t want or need the man. dazai understood you, he cared for you, and he’d help you. you needed dazai, otherwise you would be all alone again with no one else. oh dazai knew it wasn’t healthy at all, how you’d cling onto him and constantly ask him to stay with you, but having someone hold onto him like that made him feel just a bit better.

and that’s why it was unfortunate when he left the port mafia. 

you crumbled without him and fell into the hole that would kill you. the four years after he defected from the port mafia pass by in a bloody blur. people used to question your existence, but you racked up so many kills, gaining the attention of many, that they knew you were real. police and or mafia, they knew who you were at this point. you were ruthless, so much so that even akutagawa didn’t even dare to cross your path.

the number of lives you had taken couldn’t be reversed, so the government planned to put you to a stop.

your ability allowed you to set whatever you wanted ablaze just by looking at it. it was so dangerous that it even harmed you, the one who wields the power. the day dazai met you, you only let out that horrifying scream because he saw the burn marks on part of your face.

you were young, unable to control your ability when you accidentally set your own home on fire. it killed the rest of your family and left you with burns on bits of your body. 

that was how you met mori, the man that pushed you onto this dark path. you just happened to have the wrong doctor treat you, and now you had to live your life as a wanted criminal. though, the crimes you committed started to be out of your violation at one point.

soon enough, the government hands your case over to a certain agency— the armed detective agency. their goal is to arrest you and send you to a prison on another continent. but what if they can’t contain you? then, the answer is simple.

the armed detective agency will be the one to take you down for good.

you thought that you could burn them down with ease, but they immediately pulled out their trump card. he stood tall in front of you, his attire much different than what you last saw him in. there was a certain glow to dazai’s body that you couldn’t put your finger on.

the brunette stood in front of you with no fear, that was obvious to anyone. it was only because he knew you wouldn’t kill him by setting him on fire. you didn’t have the heart to do such a thing to him, even if he left you.

“long time no see. i’ve heard a lot about what you’ve been up to these past years.” his nonchalant voice is silky smooth, despite the fact that you were able to set everything around the two of you on fire.

you glare at him, hurt flashing your eyes, “and i haven’t heard a thing.”

dazai sighed, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. his expression turns serious, “turn yourself in, y/n. it’s for the best.”

“ha, what will you do if i don’t?”

“we’ll take you down ourselves.”

you hear a click as dazai points a gun at you. setting the firearm ablaze would only end up with it shooting on its own, so you don’t try. you’re also suddenly hyperaware of the other presences around. you know the other members of the agency are around, so you suddenly feel the urge to ask…

“why’d you leave me for them?” you shake. “you left me without a word. the last thing you said to me was that you wouldn’t leave me behind! so why? why’d you leave for them…?”

dazai replied calmly, “i have my reasons.”

you squint your eyes, realizing that he wouldn’t dare to reveal the truth in front of his colleagues. you were right, they must not know much about him. letting out your pent-up emotions, you fought the agency.

you were a monster, most of them thought. not only was your ability dangerous, but your fighting skills were as well. they were limited in what they could use due to your ability, which made it even harder. you weren’t afraid of setting them on fire, but fighting them on your own and beating them seemed much more satisfying.

but in the end, you, for once, were defeated. you lay in your expanding pool of blood, the bullets to your chest being the most fatal of your wounds. if the agency didn’t have their doctor on their side, you were sure you would’ve won.

the one to shoot you was dazai himself. as you bled, he walked towards your body. his expression was blank, and you weren’t sure what to say. you even activated your ability and burnt two of the agency’s members. but their doctor, akiko yosano, used her ability to heal them and return them to their normal state.

all of the killing you’ve done and this was how you met your end.

“it was only a matter of time until this happened,” he said, still standing by you.

“i guess you’re right,” you turn to the side, not wanting to look at him. “but i couldn’t even take out one of your friends, could i?”

silence ensued and you remained bleeding on the floor. you heard the clicking of heels approaching from behind, but you resisted the urge to turn around. you knew it was their healer, and you wished for her to go away. you wanted to speak with dazai one last time to put your mind at ease.

“did… did you hate me?” you ask. yosano gives dazai a glance behind your back, but he doesn’t reciprocate. “i’m sorry if i was annoying… i- i just wanted to stay with you. i’m sorry… i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m-“

“i could’ve taken you with me,” dazai interrupted your train of apologies, “but i chose not to. you needed to stand on your own two feet, y/n. but now, i see that decision wasn’t the right one.”

you hear dazai sigh, so you turn around to find him kneeling by your side. you watch as he unbuttoned the top of his collared shirt and reaches for something inside. what he pulls out is the end of a necklace.

“y-you,” your eyes widen, “you kept it…”

he hummed, rubbing the silver chain between his fingers, “i truly cherish it, believe it or not. i don’t hate you, y/n. i could never hate you. i would’ve taken you with me, but i was in a sorry state myself. what you needed at that time wasn’t me, but to learn how to live without someone like me. maybe if i went about it a different way, things wouldn’t have to be this way.”

your eyes began to sting as tears flowed freely down your cheeks. you were scared, and it was obvious. you reached for dazai’s hand, and he let you take it. he caressed your cheek with his free one.

“i hate mori,” you tell him as you cry. “i didn’t want to kill, b-but he told me that i was made for it. and i… i thought he was right. he saved me, so i thought it had to be true. my ability is made for killing, but me? i let myself turn into a monster… but even so, i’m glad that i got you… you, who was in the same situation as i… why couldn't we have met as normal kids? why?”

you weakly squeeze his hand, “dazai, i don’t want to go… but-.”

“i know,” he responded. “i know.”

in silence, he sits by you as the light fades away from your eyes. your hand continues to hold his as it grows cold, and dazai can’t seem to let you go. he was sure he loved you, but your whole relationship was ill-timed. maybe in another life, like you wished, you’d meet him again under normal circumstances.

“ah,” dazai is surprised at the droplet that hits your cheek. his face hardens as he whispers to himself, “you don’t get to cry.”

he killed you, after all.

note: this is kinda messy i'm sorry 😭😭 i love it but hate it skjsk but you guys are the real judges. request is here

reblogs are appreciated + join my taglist !

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[paraliveimaginesblog]

I've seen a lot of requests parents with only babies but not with older children?) so I was wondering if I could ask for hdcns on how they would deal with a teenager who is going through their rebellious stage where they want to be the complete opposite of their parents (like , he became emo, he listens to heavy metal, he came home with a lot of piercings and told them that "this is not a phase dad, it's my true self *metal pose*" XDD it's all~ for shogo, Allen, anne , kanata and yohei

Allen Sugasano:

Allen, while thrown off if his child suddenly developed a personality not at all similar to who he’s known them to be, doesn’t try to dampen their shine. He gets that everyone finds new passions and that they want to encompass them, to show off their reality and display the things they love, and he wouldn’t be the one to tell them how to act. You think his more laid-back approach to parenting is why he can deal with the teenage years so well, as he respected them as people with their own thoughts. He didn’t try to control them but if he saw them going down a chaotic path he’d try to use his own experience to lead them back to an area where they could safely make their own decisions.

Anne Faulkner:

Anne would be a little hurt if their rebellion was blatantly being the opposite of them, some feelings from the past rising up but they’re quick to push it back down. They could not, would not, be their own mother, and they didn’t find any other issue with their interests being different. They just want it to be what they want and not just a way for them to set themselves aside from their parents, Anne especially having doted over them since the day they were born. They just want it to be known that even if their child is pushing them away they plan on being there and loving them regardless, and there was nothing their child could do to stop them.

Kanata Yatonokami:

Kanata just rolled his eyes at the behavior, not really thrown off while simultaneously wishing this ‘rebellion’ would end so you could all be a normal family again. He never had this experience to deal with because he and Nayuta were abandoned, so he thought maybe his own kid should be more grateful to have what they do, but you thankfully cooled his head before he said something he might regret. Your logic still made him roll his eyes but you suggested he just be patient with your child, who had an extremely famous parent that they didn’t want to potentially live in the shadow of, and to give them the grace to find their own niche without it being forced on them.

Shogo Yamato:

Shogo gets it, he does, because he went through the same thing. Wanting to set yourself apart from your parent wasn’t an unusual thing for a teenager to go through, but he hoped he wasn’t being viewed the same way he saw his father. It makes him anxious but he held back his feelings on it to avoid potentially guilting them, though there are things that he considered too far that he’d have to put his foot down for. He just hoped it was a quick phase as he didn’t know how much his heart could handle.

Yohei Kanbayashi:

Yohei wanted to know what he did to get the most difficult kids on the planet to deal with in his life. As much as he loved them he can’t help but sigh over their behavior, wondering if it really was his fault and he had done something wrong while raising them to get this response. He knew he could be a ‘tough love’ sort but he’d rather they just tell him if he was pissing them off than have to dig through every interaction and memory to discover it himself. In the end, he tried to exercise some more patience with them as he remembered at one point he was young and confused about who he was too, so he’d just give them the time to figure that out.

[stormblessed-s]

Finished episode 14 today, the one where they meet a boy whose mother was killed just like Mary. Good episode, but what really touched me was the ending.

Since the beginning the show makes it pretty clear that Sam and John have their issues. Sam wants to have a normal life, whilst John just wants to avenge his wife and protect his boys. Both are stubborn and determined to follow the path they chose. That's why they fight and Sam leaves.

Great! Now, see, the main problem with them (with all Winchester men, really) is that they don't talk to each other. Shit happens to them and they just go with it, never really talking things through so they can solve whatever is bothering them. They solve they "material problems", but never the inner ones. (And this so freaking frustrating, because they could prevent A LOT of heartbreak and useless sufferings if they just sat down and talked, but whatever, bear with me).

So, they carry on their lives. Dean and Sam hunting monsters and demons, John in his crusade to find Mary's killer. At this point in the show, Sam already (kinda) came to terms with the fact that they have to trust John in this. Also, that whatever is happening, Dean is basically all he's got and that they should stick together. He still has his issues with John, wants to find his dad and all that, but he's willing to be patient and wait until John wants to be found.

And then their paths lead them to the Millers case and they find out that their mother's death is not as unique as they thought at first. They meet Max and learn about how his mom died just like Mary. Max is also manifesting psychic powers just like Sam and of couse they make the connection about the whole thing.

But here's the thing, what got to me was how Sam was seeing himself in Max through out the whole episode. He kept seeing the similarities between the two of them and this is why he tried so hard to save Max; he thought them the same. But in the end he realised that they weren't.

As flawed as John was, he put his boys first. He was grieving his wife, but still did his best to take care of Sam and Dean. Of course, he started hunting because he wanted to get his revenge, but he also wanted to make sure his boys were safe; because if something that bad had killed his wife, the same thing could happen to his boys and he was not gonna let that happen. And once he knew he wouldn't be around forever, he made sure the boys could protect themselves.

And Sam understood that in this episode. When he saw, in Max, what could have happened to them if John had reacted differently to Mary's death, I think he finally understood his father a little bit better. John was not perfect, they had a very unusual chidhood, but it could have been so much worse.

This left me a little emotional, because it felt a lot real. Parenting is hard as hell, we don't have all the answers and we do our best, hoping that we're doing the right thing. Sometimes we are, sometimes we aren't; we're human, so of course we're gonna make mistakes. But whatever happens, we're always putting our children first. Seeing Sam acknowledge this for the first time made my heart ache a little, I'm not gonna lie.

(And if I'm already emotional this early in the show, I can only imagine how I'm gonna be when things get real. Dear Lord, give me strength)

[teecupangel]

Since a lot of animals have been suggested as Desmond reincarnation, I thought about a more angst path idea, Desmond as a feral child.

It would go somewhere that Desmond had run away from home around a very little age, growing up around (idk it depends of the character(s) you want to take care of him like an eagle for altair or a wolf pack for the whole Kenway's-Auditore's- Ibn-La'Ahad's as family's, even all the assasins as a big pack idk) but neither the Creed nor the Templars can find him, all they know is that he is nowhere to be found, since Desmond didn't go to the city as or try to get the motorcycle as the original. The whole Farm would have look around near forests, city's, towns, everywhere, everything, but they just found and old stuff animal (also yours to choose) ripped apart, and some drops of blood, no signs of fight, just the infance of the little boy left behind. From his things where missing some clothing and a little knife so at leat he could defend himself. Even Minerva and Juno start to freaking out, because time is running away to save the world, and their key is missing.

I mean…

Black Hills is pretty isolated and it’s a mountain range so they will definitely have problems finding him. Just trying to search the entire range is dangerous even for Assassins.

In this one, maybe instead of running away, it’s a training gone wrong?

Desmond did say in his memories in AC Revelations that they have exercise before breakfast and used the creek to get clean (I assume this meant that they would clean up after exercise before returning to the Farm) so maybe, in one of these exercise sessions, things got chaotic.

Maybe Desmond was separated from the others.

Maybe a wild animal forced them to run in different directions.

Maybe the weather turned severe all of a sudden…

Whatever the reason may be, it ends with Desmond being separated from them. He’s too young and lost so he keeps walking until he meets a wolf cub who hears his crying. The wolf cub leads him to their den and he sleeps there.

From there, he ends up being raised by a pack of wolves that acts… both wolf-like and not wolf-like at all.

What they find later on would be the ratty remains of Desmond’s clothes, dirty with specks of blood. Enough blood for them to fear the worst.

If they had the proper equipment they would have known it wasn’t human blood but animal blood.

They were the sounds of howling sometimes but they never see the wolves.

(Instead of weaponry though, there are articles that talk about how feral children have similar characteristics as the animals who raised them so, in this scenario, Desmond would rely on sharpened claws and teeth)

After the world burns, humanity tries to build from the ashes but chaos and distrust rule among them.

They do hear the whispers of a wolf pack with a strange humanoid being with them. The wolf pack is well known because they travel into cities. Many believe that they are traveling to cities maybe because the Solar Flare had destroyed their original habitat.

The strange thing is…

The wolf pack seemed more intelligent than normal canines.

[featherwurm]

Thinkin' about Zatavia 'Tav' Felix (my BG3 character) growing up - notes under the cut:

Her mother (thankfully) survived her birth but it was all a bit of a mess and Tav's parents opted not to try for children again (Tav is an only child - her family wanted a lot of children but Tav's difficulty nipped that in the bud. There may have been a bit of lingering resentment.)

She was, quite frankly, a miserable and often awful child. Generally because the world around her wouldn't meet her on her level, and she didn't fear authority enough to not speak her mind. Bullied and beleaguered, though loved by her parents when she came to the end of primary school, the family had to have a long talk about what she was going to do.

Monastic training was the choice, and honestly it really suited her, she took to the discipline and routine of it and lost the angry edge of childhood (although she's remained stubborn, fierce, and strong though now uses those to better effect.) Sidenote: All the preteens/teens tend to steal the contraband in the locked box in the office and fiddle around with it - from cigarettes to firecrackers, it's fine, kindof a right of passage. She shaved her hair short and kept it that way for the rest of her time at the monastery (not required, but very practical.)

Her teenage years really were more of the light and fun years than her childhood, and she enjoyed physically training in marital arts, caring for animals, cooking, cleaning, and all the various other shifts that keep the monastery running (although like everyone would try to trade off latrine duty.) She also got her head around social interaction with her peers (although remained straightforward, bossy, and sometimes a little mean.)

In her early twenties she was ready to set out on her own as a wandering monk, and has been one for the last twenty years. She's seen a lot of Faerûn on her own by this point - although traveling on her own means she's never taken on truly challenging adversaries or adventures (just doing what she can to get by, get a meal, and find a place to rest - and she was quite happy that way.) She started growing her hair out and wearing the kohl around her eyes when she left the monastery (cuts down on glare.)

Fun Facts:

Her family lived in the Seatower area (part of the Lower City across the bay from the events of BG3. She points this out to Karlach when they are having dinner at the Singing Lute as they have a great view across the bay.)

Her hair was black before it went gray (starting in her late 20s and really going full gray in her late 30s.)

She got her lip tattoo at 19, a number of her friends got similar tattoos at the time (they were, dare we say, trendy.)

The monastery she is from (and returns to occasionally) is technically in service of Helm but Tav has a dim view of religion (normal for a monk - it's not like her prowess comes from any god.) It is one of the largest Monasteries in Baulder's Gate proper in the Temples area of the Upper City.

Her parents passed some years prior to game events - a bit on the younger side for Tiefling lifespans but nothing noteworthy. Her father passed after a loosing a painful battle with dropsy (cancer), and her mother died a few years later of an unknown illness. Their siblings cared for them in their convalescence as Tav was traveling, but she made it home before either of them passed.

Her mother was an in-town courier (mail carrier) and her father was a cook at a riverside pub.

All along there's no reason why she and Karlach wouldn't have crossed paths in their younger years (before Tav left the city), but they don't know each other till game events (and yes, there is a significant gap in their ages.) Mostly I wanted to just sketch something cute.

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

for the ask game: the witcher - Emhyr, your OC Sarah, Ciri please

and for Baldur's Gate 3: Halsin and Raphael please 😁💜

That is a barrage of arrows hitting the bullseye of my heart! Ok Ok lets tackle them all!

Warning: It's going to be long, so I'll answer under the cut.

How I feel about this character

Emhyr

My love for him burns like a thousand suns. Fascination at first sight. Of course I knew Emhyr from the game first before I knew him fully in the books, which enriched him more. He is an antagonist I love to love, and I know he's done many heinous things (war, unpopular decisions), I can't help but admire the reason behind each horrible decision. And I love the humanity that shines through his armor. You could imagine that shard of ice shifting a lot when he acts human instead of the iron fisted sovereign.

Sarah

My friend from birth. I can't really explain it in normal terms. It's like a childs' imaginary friend growing up with you. She frequents my dreams as a child. Always the woman with wavy black locks, green eyes, attractive smile. Someone that I wanted to be but can't. I have created many OCs: pieces of my secret soul, personalities I couldn't express in real life: Lyla the feisty, fiery, foxy red head. Violet the loud and flashy rockstar (similar to HEART), Sarah Delgado the tragic green-haired spanish fencer. But Sarah is my OC ideal: wise, pragmatic, noble and a smile that could melt any frozen heart (which I can picture her effect on the Ice Emperor Emhyr <3)

Ciri

-Brat, Brat, Brat. And she wears that title proudly. Were it not for Geralt and Yennefers' affection for her, I would've disliked Ciri at the start. But you can see her caring and protective heart when it comes to children and those she love. She's idealistic, as Avallach pointed out correctly, but I love putting her through tough decisions which led her to make the most adult decision and walk the path of the empress. Still, the brat title never goes away and it make the boring empress life much more interesting.

Halsin

This guy.... After being on a steady Emhyr diet, it was Halsin who got me to try a different fare. He was just my type! Big protector type with soulful eyes and a winning smile. Personality wise, the complete opposite of Emhyr. When playing BG3, I couldn't bring myself NOT to jump on him because he is that likeable. Whereas Sarah had to content with crumbs from Emhyr because of his imperial priorities, Halsin would give Tav the whole loaf and would sit beside Tav just to watch Tav eat and ask if all is to their liking. It is hard not to fall for Halsin!

Raphael

There is always that one NPC that is unreachable/un-romanceable not because they are unlikeable, but because fate (writers) says so. He is a goal you can never reach, and you make it so in fanon. Raphael is suave, sexy, debonair, and sinfully seductive that it is difficult (not impossible) to not sign your soul away. You have to roll a critical 20 just to break his grip on your heart and soul!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Emhyr: except for Sarah, all his ships are platonic. But I do enjoy reading others shipping him with anyone. Depends on the writing.

Sarah: Emhyr. Only Emhyr. Everyone stays behind that friendzone barrier.

Ciri: Morvran Voorhis is the main love interest. Always! He is so calm and superior with everyone else, but when it comes to Emhyr's lil princess, he turns into this bumbling goof trying to impress her with his Nilfgaardian charms (lol). Honestly they grow on me as they do each other. Other than Morvran, I pair Ciri with anyone so long as they are written well, and isn't forced on me (you know who I mean).

Halsin and Raphael: besides Tav, anyone in the fellowship (maybe except Jaheira and Minsc). Also not with the Emperor.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Emhyr

Yennefer: shared aims that doesn't extent into the bedchambers. Also I think Emhyr is allergic to mages due to his past as The Urcheon.

Mererid: Loyal chamberlain. Purely servant to his master.

Geralt: Co-parent of their Child Surprise. Can't stand each other, but for the sake of Ciri, they have no choice but to work together.

Sarah

Mererid: he is her stuffy stick-in-the-mud uncle, and loves him that way.

Morvran: she treats him like a brother and ally. Nothing beyond that.

Ciri

Hjalmar..... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Halsin

Minsc: The Rashemaar cant stand him and would love to one-up him on something!

Raphael

Mizora: they could compare souls they acquire and even make a bet on which of them could collect Tav's soul... or get to make out with Tav.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Emhyr: He is better for the Continent unlike the current rulers.

Sarah: Gurl, just tell Emhyr the truth and damn the consequences1 But then the fic wouldn't be this long if she just spilled the beans, eh?

Ciri: Girl is about as darling as mouthful of wasabi. She is an acquired taste, but once you do acquire it, you will defend her with your life!

Halsin: I wish it didn't take that long to connect with him on a romantic level because I had to spurn Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Karlach and Laezel (sorry Shadowheart) to live a monogamous relationship with him. Yeah I know he is into poly, but I am not.

Raphael: I want to see more of his horned form. I find his demon self sexier than his human skin.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Emhyr

I wished he didn't fall for Vilgefortz bullshit. Then he wouldn't have to freeze himself and become an emperor with an ice block for a heart, thinking of doing the unthinkable to save the world. Thank goodness Emhyr didn't go through with it.

Sarah

Carrying the beacon (what is the beacon? It's a burden only she can bear). If not for it, she'd live a normal life as a noble. But without it, she'd never have met Emhyr.

Ciri

Wish she could renounce her powers, or never ended with The Rats. Honestly it was the darkest time of her life that I hated slogging through, so as much as I hate him- thanks Bonhart!

Halsin

Wish he went bear savage on those drows who captured him and had their way with him, instead of just taking it in and taking his time until it felt normal to him.

Raphael

Wish we could really get it on with him, and not just his incubus.

Thanks for the ask! Whew! Hope my answers entertains!

[nobodyimportant41]

Bo Burnham's legacy challenge

(God, wth im writing)

Ehm- yeah...i was looking inspo for another legacy challenge on my spotify when i realized that i basically only hear Argentinan or Uruguayan music...and i'm pretty sure that here not many people known them- So i decided to go for Bo's songs!

And yeah, if you for some reason think about it, it was also inspired by "Perspective of god" ("you're not my children, you're a bad game of sims")

WARNING:

If you heard Bo's songs, you will know that there are some "spicy" or not kid friendly topics, so, if you're under 18 or sensitive, you may not read this one.

General rules:

Heirs don't have to ressemble their song with their name, but you can do it if you want

No cheats unless it for storytelling purposes

You can play in any lifespan, but i recommend playing it in normal

The order of the generations is for storytelling purposes, not their release order

If you don't have a certain pack, you can change some goals for the most similar

Packs:

Ep: Be famous (gen 1,2,7 and 8), Highschool years (gen 2), Cats and dogs (gen 6), City living (gen 7 and 10/2), Get together (gen 7), Snowy escape (gen 10/1)

Gp:Parenthood (gen 3)

Sp: Movie night stuff (gen 8), paranormal (gen 5)

Gen 1; Repeat stuff:

Story:You were always good looking,so, you grew up without problems since everything was made from others for you! But, as an adult you realize that because you didn't did anything, you don't KNOW anything... so you decide to go for a singer way! The only thing that matters is that your hot, right?

Traits:

Self centred

Lazy

Music lover

Goals:

Complete the musical genius aspiration

Max the entertainment career (musician branch)

Max the piano and singing skills

Leave someone at the altar

Record at least 5 romantic songs

Woohoo with the grim reaper at least once

Gen 2; white woman's instagram:

Story: Being the kid of one of the most famous singers in the simnation, OF COURSE that you wanted to follow that path of having a "perfect life!" After all, the only hard part will be convince your spouse to take some selfies with you...

Traits:

Self centred

Mean

High mantience

Goals:

Complete the world famous celebrity aspiration

Become a simfluencer

Max the photography and charisma skills

Marry someone you hate

Use social media at least once a day

Gen 3; 1985:

Story:Your parents didn't loved eachother, but your parent's (gen 2) followers thought the exact opposite. Thats why you always preferred your other parent since they were a lot more honest; maybe too much..

As a young adult, your biggest dream is having kids and mostly, educate them!

Traits:

Family oriented

Perfeccionist

Neat

Goals:

Complete the super parent aspiration

Max the parenting and cooking skill

Be a stay at home parent

Have at least 3 kids and became friends with all of them

Only use the strict options to disipline your kids

Gen 4; Lower your expectations:

Story: Your parent always told you that you weren't able to date until they passed away which were very tragic news for you; How are you getting married with that?! At least when you were a kid, you had to only conform with writing romance books... but as a rebelious teen, you thought of dating your crush, it was only a little secret that will never be revealed, right?...

Traits:

Romantic

Creative

High maintenance

Goals:

Complete the soulmate aspiration

Max the charisma and writing skills

Work as a freelance writer

Have at least 5 partners, but break up with all of them, since they aren't perfect like you would like

Get married and see your first spouse die

Marry your soulmate as an elder

Gen 5;K!ll yours3lf:

Story: Your parent always told you about how "bad" their partners were, so you started thinking that people were cruel by nature (except for you, or at least that was what you said) so you started reading about occults and you REALLY liked it! You even decided that, for when you were an adult, you will EVEN interact with people! Not because you liked them, but because you wanted to ghosthunt in people's houses!

Traits:

Loner

Mean

Erratic

Goals:

Complete the master of mischief aspiration

Max the paranormal and mischief skills

Work as a paranormal investigator

Live your whole life in a haunted house

Your only friend AND spouse must be a ghost

Live as a ghost after passing away

Gen 6; Poems:

Story: Since you were a young kid you knew your social life was quite dead since you were born because, well...one of your parents is a ghost and the other one is a freak who LOVES ghost... yeah..you knew that having friends was way too hard so you didn't even tried it; all you needed was a dog and a computer to write your... VERY original poems...

Traits:

Socially akward

Dog lover

Slob

Goals:

Complete the best seller author aspiration

Max the writing and pet training skills

Max the writer career (any branch)

When you unlock the option, ONLY write poems

Have at least two dogs

Gen 7; Welcome to the internet:

Story: You knew that you were considered a weird one, but, unlike your parent, you REALLY WANTED to be famous, so you decided that, as soon as you were able to, create a simtube account and upload your FANTASTIC vlogs about your amazing life and someday, show your classmates that you were an spectacular and perfect sim!

Traits:

Self centred

Outgoing

Goofball

Goals:

Complete the leader of the pack aspiration

Max the tech guru career (Esports player branch)

Max the video making and charisma skills

Have a celebrity club

Become at least a three stars celebrity

When you moved out of your house, never talk with your parent/s never again

Gen 8; Microwave popcorn:

Story: When you were a kid, you spend most of your time watching movies with popcorn in your hands. You couldn't help it but love it! After all, cooking and mostly acting were two thing that you loved!

As an adult, you could finally enter the acting career! It was thanks to your parents fame.. but you still wanted to become the next Judith Ward!

Traits:

Glutton

Ambicious

Slob

Goals:

Complete the master actor/actress aspiration

Max the acting career

Max the singing and acting skills

Gain the junk food lifestyle

Win at least three awards for your job

Gen 9; Whats funny:

(This is quite inspired by the pink gen of the Not so Berry challenge, so this gen is not 100% original!)

Story: You grew up in a quite conservative household, so you wanted to get married to a nice person and have beautiful children; you didn't cared about your job, you could work in a simple 9-5 office work to maintain them! Except, EVERYTHING went wrong, you ended up fighting everyday with your spouse, your kids were ungrateful and only cared about their partners and you didn't even cared anymore for your job, maybe you could try pursue your dream?

Traits:

Family oriented

Perfeccionist

Goofball

Goals:

Complete the jokestar aspiration

Work in the bussiness career but quit it after having your midlife crisis and then max the entertainment career (comedian branch)

Max the comedy skill

Get married and have twins

Max your relationship both of your kids

Gen 10; Left brain, Right brain:

Ok, to make this challenge more "special" i decided to do something quite weird; there are two "branches" of the last gen, in other words; you can choose if you want to play with the left brain or the right brain! (Or both, if you hate yourself)

Gen 10/1; Left brain:

Story: You always thought that your twin was quite a dumb one; they just wanted to play and watch hot people on tv all day! You wanted to be one in life, but there was so many things you wanted to do...but you will fight to have a family and a great job! You decided to move to Mt. Komorebi for your job; a salary person! Since you will LOVE to become a CEO! and also karaoke nights...

Traits:

Perfeccionist

Materialist

Genius

Goals:

Complete the fabulously wealthy aspiration

Max the salary person career

Max the singing and logic skills

Have at least one kid with all the positive character values

Marry someone in the following careers: Salary person, politician or business career

Gen 10/2;Right brain:

Story: You always thought that your twin was super cool! You didn't share much with them, but you admire how smart they were and mostly, they knew what they wanted while you...ehm...you only knew you wanted to become everybody's friend, but you didn't even know what you were going to work as...but you will figure it out!

Traits:

Childish

Romantic

Art lover

Goals:

Complete the city native aspiration

Work selling your paintings at home until becoming an adult and max the painter career (any branch)

Max the painting and charisma skills

Have max relationship with at least 5 persons (excluding your family) and become best friends with your twin

Have twins...twice

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview for 'Out Magazine' for Fellow Travelers (2023)

Starting in 1950, hundreds to thousands of gay men and lesbians were fired from government jobs for allegations of homosexuality under the intrusive eyes of Sen. Joseph McCarthy and his chief counsel, Roy Cohn. They were labeled deviants and morally weak. McCarthy and Cohn said that gay people couldn’t be trusted with your children, let alone to run your country. It’s shockingly similar to what’s happening today.

By 1953, President Dwight Eisenhower signed Executive Order 10450, which barred homosexuals from working in the federal government. Five thousand people were not just fired but were outed to their families and communities, effectively and in some cases literally ending their lives. More followed. It wasn’t until the 1970s that this policy barring gay people from federal jobs started to change, and not until 1998 that it completely ended.

In Fellow Travelers, an eight-episode series airing on Showtime this fall, actors Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey play Hawk Fuller and Tim Laughlin, two men who meet while working in Washington, D.C., at the start of McCarthyism. They fall in love. For Hawk, this means living an existence of discipline and barriers, hiding who he is so he can build a life working in the government. For Tim, it means losing his career and finding a path that allows him to follow his truth.

In order to survive, Hawk and Tim form a chosen family with two other gay men swept up in the big political and cultural changes happening: journalist Marcus Hooks (Jelani Alladin) and drag-queen-turned-activist Frankie Hines (Noah J. Ricketts). Throughout the four decades covered in the series, the four men come back into each other’s lives when things get hardest. For the four out stars of the show, forming that kind of found family was important in order to be able to play some of the most complex and challenging (but rewarding) roles of their careers. That family found its leader in Bomer, a veteran actor (Magic Mike, The Normal Heart). Bailey, an English actor with an extensive background in theater, is internationally famous as the male lead in season 2 of Netflix’s Bridgerton. Alladin (Frozen) and Ricketts (Frozen, Beautiful: The Carole King Musical) are known for their Broadway roles.

“Matt is such a giver, and he gave to all of us and provided the space for all of us to feel safe, to feel that we can make bold choices and that we can all play along,” Alladin says, thanking Bomer. “And it really connected everybody on set to say, to trust each other. Rarely do I feel like there’s a circle of four queer men or four queer bodies and I feel like we can all say, ‘I would fall on a sword for you.’”

For Bomer and Bailey, that also meant building the kind of trust that allowed them to film some sex scenes that are among the hottest in the careers of two men who have filmed a lot of heated moments. “It’s funny, isn’t it? Personally, when I read the script, I didn’t think it was explicit,” Bailey laughs. “I think it’s so important. You can’t tell the queer love story and not show how the sex is so intrinsic.”

“It’s all something that is hard to talk about to people who come together and have separate bodies,” he adds. “But if you exist in the same body, how you negotiate that and what that means, how being submissive [affects sex], and well, really what is kink…. It’s all a thing. I just think it’s a really hearty and honest examination of something which I know I’ve always yearned to see properly explored.”

Bomer says they were able to explore that because they had conversations throughout filming the scenes. “We could call audibles on the fly or really communicate with each other or say we wanted to try this or that, so it all felt pretty free,” he says. “And in terms of the story, all those scenes really carry the story forward. Their relationships are not the same after those above scenes as they were before. So they’re all intrinsic and inherent to the story.”

“I think it’s so nuanced and personal, isn’t it? The way that people have sex is so presumed,” Bailey says. “It definitely was the first time that I’ve seen a light being shown on the roles within a gay relationship and power and status with being submissive and dominant.”

“But to me, what I find interesting, it’s a give and take between the two,” he continues. “So actually it’s not one person going, ‘I’m now going to do this.’ It’s like they move as a unit. And I think that’s beautiful. And I feel like it always is negotiation, and I’m always interested in people who identify as one role, and I would wonder what that is.”

He points to the first time Hawk and Tim have sex, where Hawk takes on the dominant (top) role, and the last time, when Tim takes charge. “Literally, it’s a complete reversal,” he points out. “It’s a love story. So that bleeds into these scenes. So even in the way they have sex, it’s always about generosity and communication. And that is essentially how I feel how this whole show was made on generosity and communication and truth.”

While the sexual intimacy is groundbreaking in the show, the intimacy is there for the characters in other ways too. Because the actors played the characters throughout four decades of their lives, they were presented with a unique opportunity to showcase development — especially for Alladin and Ricketts, who know the importance of showing Black queer love on screen.

“There’s also something so powerful in telling this story to the world right now in hope of either educating or simply revealing to those who don’t understand that love can happen in all shapes, sizes, and forms, and be inside of all people,” Alladin says. “And that it should not be something that is limited by law or limited by the venom of segregation.”

“For me, some of the intimacy that I enjoy the most in this series is when we’re all old,” he continues. “Because they’re still caring for one another. I’ll never forget shooting that scene in the bedroom in one of the later episodes where we’re at age 80 and we’re still connected, we’re still loving each other. That’s something I’ve never seen — caring that lasts through decades.”

For Ricketts, playing the role of a Black gay man who is a drag performer in an illegal gay bar in the ’50s and then becomes an activist and organizer throughout the rest of his life, caused him to look at his own life and priorities.

“I think there’s something so beautiful and beautifully hard about being yourself in a world that is determined to hate you,” Ricketts says. “And playing Frankie, a character that was out and loud and proud with a glossy lip and a painted nail. It really forced me to look inward at the way I moved through the world and see if I’m coming out authentically, if I’m moving in the world authentically. And so I hope that as people watch this, they ask themselves that question so we can break down these barriers of hypermasculinity and feeling like we have to change who we are to subscribe to societal norms.”

“I think living out loud and living as an effeminate person in the world, you put on a type of armor,” he continues. “There is a lot of fear underneath that. And even though to the external world, you’re going out there being brave, what I tried to show was that it’s actually a really difficult thing to stand up and be yourself. There’s a lot of emotion underneath that. And so I think throughout the years, you beat someone down one time and you get stronger the next time. And I think that’s what you see in Frankie’s evolution.”

“It’s amazing to see how much [Frankie’s] priorities shift as the world shifts through the decades. And I think that’s what I responded to so much, is that my character Frankie gives up, puts his heels away to fight the good fight and to make a better existence for the people that come after him,” he says. “And I think that’s something that’s so real for queer people that it’s a call to action. We don’t have the luxury of hanging back. We have to fight for everything that we have.”

That fight became even more real for each of the actors the more they learned about the real Lavender Scare — the aforementioned persecution of queer people in the U.S. government — a history lesson that’s not taught in most schools. “I had no idea it was a thing, and I was embarrassed by that,” Alladin admits. “I was ashamed of that. Why was that chapter skipped in the history books? Why not in social studies class? It is 101, and here we are staring in the mirror being like, Well, did anything change? Well, no. Because we didn’t teach it. We haven’t taught it. So therefore, how can you learn the lesson?”

“I think there’s so much erasure that happens of queer history in general that I’m happy this exists because it forces people to ask the question, Did this really happen? And to seek out answers for themselves,” Ricketts adds. “And the answer is, ‘Yeah, it’s real.’ And it’s happening again today. So yeah, call to action, babies!”

“A lot of the transformations that we’ve seen in the community come from Black and brown bodies that really put themselves out on the street and out on the front lines to fight the fight. And so that’s something that I knew, but it’s amazing to see that it didn’t just happen at Stonewall, it happened in San Francisco and other places with the street queens, that they were out there really going to jail, fighting for their lives so that we could have what we have today,” he says. “And I just think it’s so beautiful to show that. I’m happy that it’s represented.”

Before the July photo shoot for this article, Alladin and Bailey had the chance to go to London Pride together, something both actors say they’ll never forget. “I think it was really crazy to have to experience Pride in New York City and to land in London and experience Pride in London and feel that it’s almost exactly the same,” Alladin says. “There’s a need to release joy. There’s a need to feel that. The world is trying to squish it out of the community with every law that’s being passed, every kind of denial of existence. And you’re like, I just want to enjoy one day.”

Bailey says that working on the show has made him more aware of the political fervor at Pride than any time he’s been previously, and it’s causing him to examine how he uses his platform to fight for LGBTQ+ rights. And Bomer also felt that this year’s Pride was a special one — particular in the wake of Supreme Court decisions that struck down affirmative action and opened the door to businesses discriminating against LGBTQ+ people.

“In light of the past week in all the Supreme Court rulings, it was so important for me personally yesterday just to go out into the streets and take in the Pride celebrations and the sense of community and hope and joy and love that everyone was feeling,” he says. “And to allow that to fill my cup a little bit and inspire me to educate myself and form myself to do what I can and keep moving forward and in the most productive way possible for our community.”

Bomer also wants to make sure he honors those who fought to get us where we are today. “I was fortunate enough to be in Houston last week for the 20th anniversary of Lawrence v. Texas [the SCOTUS ruling invalidating U.S. sodomy laws], and it was so profound for me to meet members of the community in Houston who I was totally unaware of,” he says. “There are generations of heroes who are doing the real grassroots behind-the-scenes work who don’t want accolades, who don’t want awards, who are doing the real work that’s changing all of our lives. And I think I value that today more than I ever have before.”

“For me, I think Pride is always a time to reflect on how far we’ve come but also to realize how much further we have to go,” Ricketts says. “And I think that’s what I’d say to the younger communities, is really understand and know how we got here in the first place and figure out what your form of fighting is. If it’s just showing up in the world authentically as you, that’s wonderful. If it’s getting on a podium and preaching until midnight, that’s wonderful too. But we all need each other and no one can sit back and rest. We have to keep fighting in the fight.”

Talking about queer joy as a form of activism at Pride makes Alladin think of a note he was given during filming from series creator Ron Nyswaner (Philadelphia) about the balance of difficulty and joy found in the series.

“Ron gave me a note one day,” Alladin recalls. “I texted him being like, ‘I’m watching all this research on the ’80s and the AIDS crisis and I’m just sitting here crying.’ He was like, ‘Yeah, but Jelani, I still went to birthday parties. I still found a way to play games with my friends. I still found a way to have a beer and enjoy that.’ So there is still some semblance of light being found in darkness and chaos.”

“When I was in Houston, I was at home with one of the activists and he was showing me pictures from the time period,” Bomer contributes. “And obviously, there was so much heartbreak and loss, but there was also so much celebration and so much joy. It’s really the balance.”

Source

[yuesya]

Not to be as oblivious as Shiki, but what was Geto getting at with his questions to her? When he asks if shes bothered about being asked to kill, and she goes not really, what's the context she(and I) are missing? Shiki gets the excuse that she's too young to understand the underlying meaning but I don't 😂😭. is it bc it's unsettling for a little girl to be so nonchalant about murder?

What's with the whole saving satoru and shiki bit, how in the world is killing a bunch of non sorcerers gonna save those two. Don't worry shiki, bc I sure don't understand geto's actions either LMAO. This is why I'd never survive in political situations bc social things just fly right over my head.

Hello! So, there's a few things going on here haha, unfortunately which were not really elaborated on in the story:

As we all know, Geto's mindset has been pretty conflicted and in a lot of turmoil recently. Unlike in canon, where it was solely 'non-sorcerers' that he laser-focused on, in zenith of stars he's also become uncomfortably aware of something Very Wrong with the way the jujutsu world does things. How they shove unsuspecting children onto a sorcerer's path without even batting an eye does not sit well with him, either.

When Geto asks Shiki, “If you were able to choose freely, would you still decide to become a sorcerer?” It's mainly because he wants to know if there was any possibility of Shiki just... being able to live as a normal little girl. Because he remembers how Nanami had described his little niece to them before, and he remembers the first time he met Shiki himself -just a tiny little girl clinging first to Satoru, and then to Nanami. A sweet, quiet little thing.

Who then turned into a creature who saw nothing wrong with holding onto a decapitated head, sitting in a pool of blood.

'If you were not forced onto a sorcerer's path by the Gojo Clan. Would things have turned out differently?'

This then leads into his subsequent question:

"Does it really not bother you that you’re being asked by your clan to kill?”

This question. It's a question that's more important to Geto than he lets on.

Somewhat similar to Nanami, he's also having trouble reconciling the image of a sweet little girl to an unrepentant killer. And the thing is, he's genuinely concerned about her. Geto has first-hand experience with the jarring moments he experiences with Satoru's worldviews, after all. The blithe way his friend reacts to blood and violence and the like. He's concerned that Shiki is going down the exact same path, given recent happenings and her lack of reaction to it all. Is she just repressing everything? Is there something he can do to help?

"Not really," Shiki says.

(Ah. Is she... already that far gone?)

It's not even like Shiki is a cold, unfeeling robot, either. She smiles. She laughs and cries. She cares for Nanami, she gets upset when her uncle is unhappy. She likes playing with Panda and doesn't mind running barefoot through the tall grass in the school mountains with him for bug-hunting.

Which makes her nonchalant answer all the more terrifying to Geto. Because despite everything, she's just a kid.

A kid who doesn't see any problem with killing, and that raises some major red flags in his mind.

Is this what growing up in a sorcery clan does to people? Satoru... was it the same for Satoru as well?

The duality of Shiki the innocent child and Shiki the natural killer, the duality of Satoru the cheerful friend and Satoru the merciless sorcerer... Geto has a front-row seat to it all, and this disturbs him greatly. It disturbs him even more that the two of them can't see anything wrong with it.

Geto blames this on the Gojo Clan. On the existing system in the jujutsu world that focuses on making the most out of each and every sorcerer that they can field, in humanity's endless fight against curses.

If there are no curses, there would be no need for any sorcerers. If there's no need for any sorcerers, then there wouldn't have to be any more Satorus or Shikis.

Curses are born from non-sorcerers.

If Geto kills all the non-sorcerers, then he'll be able to rid the world of curses.

.

... So yeah, that's the general gist of things here haha. All of which sails straight over Shiki's head, and Satoru's as well.

Shiki's answer only confirmed to Geto that something needed to change, a realization which he was already on the way to affirming on his own (see Geto POV in interlude 1).

The "answer that Geto needed" to his question would've been some hint of discomfort, or hesitation in Shiki's response. Because it would've shown him that Shiki wasn't "broken." It would've restored some of Geto's faith in the Gojo Clan, and the higher ups of the jujutsu world. It would've given him hope, and it would be entirely possible that Geto would later decide that change is best enacted from the inside, rather as a rogue curse user. He might be more callous towards non-sorcerers than he used to be, but not outright 'slaughter them all,' in terms of his attitude. Which may put him at odds with Satoru sometimes, but they'd still be working together to change things in the jujutsu world.

But that's only a 'maybe' of what might've been possible. ;3

[volvolts]

sorry it took me a while to read the fae story, zenless zone zero has been grippin me by the neck but dang, love kynseed, such a good game and i find it very touching the love you pour into this story, id like to know more (and jonah's sister intrigues me tbh)

no worries at all on the replying! i'm also sorry about the super long wait for this answer too lol (i had a lot of stuff happening for me this past week, nothing bad tho so no worries)

kynseed really had me in the throat with the idea of estranged siblings and the prologue was so good with setting that up! I loved when you meet your sibling again after the time skip and i was honestly super upset when they told me they wanted to be alone (i also named them after my own sibling so that adds more too lol)

i also really liked that when you reach rep 3 your sibling is back but in my game, they just suddenly come back and is super happy seeing me again and not addressing how they left me (also is there supposed to be a letter they send you before you meet again?? i swore i saw a screenshot of a letter someone sends to you in the game but i never came across it myself). but also the lack of apology left me thinking of the idea of you letting it go because you dont want to lost them again and the resentment that could build from that

i tried to transfer the idea of that into my story via jonah's sister (which imma put under a read more for this part as we are now proceeding past kynseed)

jonah's younger twin sister shay is similar to the idea of what i thought about the kynseed sibling being, a sibling seemingly abandoned by their twin whom they never forgave. shay is also a sentinel (refresh: sentinels are fae blessed children who travel and bridge the world of fae and humans) but she doesn't want to be. she didnt ask for this life and wishes that she was normal. one day she's going to outlive those she loves and latched on to jonah, the only person in her childhood who she wont outlive. however jonah wants to be a sentinel and, when forced to make the choice between following her or his own path, he chose his own

shay has never forgiven him for it and cut him out of her life. both siblings are miserable but also refuse to be the first to apologize. jonah because he has always chosen her over his own wants and has turned resentful that the one time he chooses to be selfish, she cuts him off. shay because she's stubborn and was incredibly hurt that he wants to do the role that has estranged them from most of humanity.

shay isnt really a great person, having spent decades letting her resentment fester and she's really callous with people but shes a lot kinder to animals and if she truly pities you. she's also the kind of person who lashes out at others when shes upset. shay does still care about jonah, no matter what she says, but for now, she won't apologize and will only forgive jonah if he apologizes first and renounces his role as a sentinel

i have a lot of fun trying to figure things out with jonah and shay, the doomed siblings duo. they both love each other but are too stubborn to be the first to cross the gap and neither want to compromise. theyre in a frustrating situation and im most particularly enjoying tyring to find things for shay to do (i wish i can draw faster and actually visualize properly haha...) but that's all! thanks for reading

[blindedbythedarkness]

My mind is so full right now. I feel more emotions than I can name thoughts, but there's just so much going on. When I was younger, my dad used to tell me that anxiety is just intolerance of uncertainty. Well, I have a hell of a lot of uncertainty right now and I get why people don't tolerate it, it's fucking uncomfortable.

At university, I have to make a decision which could mean giving up my dreams of being a doctor. Either that, or say nothing about being caused likely permanent harm by the institutions that were supposed to protect me. The real kicker is, I daren't even say more than that in case I post the wrong thing and fuck it all up both ways. Who can I even speak to about it? No one in my life has any useful advice for me because people just don't have to make massive fucking decisions like this on the regular. It all feels so heavy and maybe I'm an adult now, but I still feel like a kid with no clue what to do.

I also feel like I'm losing my parents. Both, at the same time. Though actually I think I've already lost my dad. He gave into the crowds last year and dropped all Covid precautions to "live his life". He's always been fixated on living at least to the age of his mother, which gives him 8 more years. His current lifestyle means if nothing changes, I doubt he'll make it there, at least without serious health issues. He wouldn't give a fuck if I told him though. It's all too hypothetical and he's too cynical that he doesn't want to live longer anyway. I don't think he can even conceive of how it is to live with serious chronic illness, he probably thinks he's built different and could just push through. I'm a living, breathing example of the damage Covid could do, but despite sharing half my genes, it could never happen to him. Even if it did, he'd just try harder than me.

I lie awake for hours at night, my mind involuntarily churning out essays and letters to the people in my life who's life choices are breaking my heart fragment by fragment. I beg my brain to shut up and let me rest, knowing I'll never bother to send them, but I just can't sleep again until its down on paper.

To my dad, I imagine writing him letters explaining how I know he's never prioritized me in his life, but perhaps he could reconsider. I want to tell him how he's killing me on the inside more each day with his decisions. I want to beg him to reconsider, because I want him to last long enough to see me married and meet my children; they'll already be lacking two grandparents, please don't make it one more. I want to threaten him, tell him when his brain is bursting with the fucked up proteins that mean he can't think or remember who I am anymore, all because he gave up and gave in to SARS2, it will be me who chooses his care home. Care homes which will lack even more staff, and will be even more expensive as the early onset dementia epidemic explodes a decade from now. I want to ask him if it was all for nothing, me rebuilding our relationship? Because if he carries on like this, I'll have no choice but to build walls to protect myself from the anticipatory grief. Do I really mean so little to him? He's choosing a few short years of the old-normal instead of me having a future with him in it.

I've shared similar thoughts with my mum and she seemed to understand my point of view, yet I'm still afraid she'll follow him down the same path. She says she's trying to balance being safe and living her life, and I understand no one can be perfect. But the world is growing more hostile and she's faced opposition to masking at work. She's never had as many balls as me, so I worry eventually she'll crack. She went on holiday recently, and there's not a single mask in her pictures. I know she likes to take it off for photos, but how can I know she ever wore it at all. If I question her, she scolds me for not trusting her, as if I haven't had an endless conveyor of friends and family willing to trade my life for brunch these past 4 years- of course I have trust issues. It also seems that she made a new friend on holiday, a friend that could become more. I have no issue with that, it'd be good for her. But what if they don't understand Covid? What if she caves to keep them in her life and trades safety for companionship?

I just feel so lost, and I have so many questions with answers I'm afraid to find out. But without them, I'm in some sort of emotional purgatory. I do have friends who I know would care. But one would never understand. Another is busy seeing family. Another is too new for me to drop all this on. And the one who would understand it most has her own horrors to contend with right now and I don't want to add to her stress. Meanwhile, my therapist is on holiday for a month.

Plus, and its small by comparison, I've spent the last two months in new-pet limbo. We've kept rats for the last 5 years and they've really been amazing for company, joy and amusement throughout this current dystopia. But we lost our last one two months ago and now an empty cage sits right in the middle of our living room. I've spent so much time and energy researching breeders and joining new lists, but there's been so many unanswered emails and painfully slow waits for responses. It would just be nice to know when this one nice thing will be back in my life.

How I feel right now is like no simple depression that, looking back, is what I had in my late teens. This is years of acute-on-chronic compounded trauma and discrimination and loss of even the most basic human need- safety. I'm numb and yet my whole chest hurts. I find myself wishing it would change, in either direction. I have fleeting thoughts of overdose on antidepressants or cutting myself, just to fortify the numbness or finally break through the walls around my heart. But I won't. Instead, I'll do just what I've been doing for four fucking years- enduring. Tolerating. Staying alive and not self-destructing. But inside, I'm crumbling more than ever.

Oh please, dear God, let things improve soon. There has to be a light at the end of this and I'm so desperate to live to see it.

[sueske]

Hey there~

Another ask about your recent rant because I thought about that so often, too, and I agree 100% with you.

What I'm really curious about is what you think what kinds of missions Kishimoto wanted to implement and which topics he wanted to approach. I mean I can imagine a few insights of very casual missions (like the one where they have to catch a cat) just to show a little bit of the "normal everyday life" of a genin team. But aside from that I can't get an idea for something that is even nearly as deep as the LOW arc.

I'd be happy to hear your thoughts :)

Hi!

Okay so I've thought about this before a lot because of a fic I'm writing... do I want to give spoilers...

To qualify for the Chuunin exams you need at least 8 missions under your belt, but realistically it should be double that. Iruka said it's too soon for most of rookie 9. Probably as an explanation to the readers for why it was so suddenly introduced, to show how much time the team spent together going on missions, and maybe Kishimoto's own lament and how many missions he had originally planned, channeled through Iruka? Hmm...

ANW the emotional impact of the LOW arc is unparalleled but it was so good because of the emotions it evoked. They were given a mission like that on accident, and technically it was a B-rank (I think). Would this open the door to give Naruto and co higher ones? I could see Naruto complain about wanting more difficult missions like he's done previously, Sasuke too after his internal dialogue of how strong opponents can be found outside the village.

Considering what other themes Kishimoto brought up in the story that had similar impact, I see something like the below happening (in no particular order, at different timepoints):

-If I remember correctly Kishimoto intended for them to cross paths with Kakashi's rival from another village (Gai and his team), so possibly a plot point about that. Possibly if someone like Neji is there, the ideas behind clan hierarchies and how bad things can be within a clan, possibly some Uchiha backstory here too.

-A mission to another village with a jinchuuriki, like gaara, to see how the rest of the world treats them, and having the rest of team 7 (mainly sasuke) understand and sympathise with naruto after seeing his frustrations and develop their bonds so maybe people wouldn't be like 'vote2 is a retcon of sasuke's character' 😐

-A political mission. Either indirectly or directly, maybe leading from the mission above, they uncover some daimyo corruption (for example what happened to Sunagakure in the first place with lack of funding) and showcasing to the readers and naruto that the real people in charge of their lives can be... bad.

-A mission to a war torn country like the hidden rain village and the fall out of that, and having to come face to face directly with the idea that Konoha isn't innocent... some history here.

-A random mission to help civilians (kind of like the LOW) in a country not affiliated with the hidden villages. I imagine a scene where they see some children playing around and some can use chakra a bit, but they don't have anyone to teach them so they have to rely on other's help (kind of like Pein and co). The idea of resourcing being withheld for profit and its ramifications.

-Maybe they get put on different teams for some reason if one of them is out of commission, and they meet Yamato and Sai, and the whole root organisation is uncovered and what they do in the shadows for the sake of 'peace' and the disruption that causes.

-Whether Itachi would've been written as just insane or a Konoha ally... idk. But anw maybe Itachi comes looking for Naruto, or they cross paths with him on a random mission... possibly... I'm on the fence about whether Sasuke would leave the village if Orochimaru never laid hands on him. Would he elect to get stronger with Naruto by going on missions outside the village and fighting with strong opponents? Or would seeing the difference in strength between Itachi and him push him over the edge anw? Seeing Vote1 after seeing SNS build their bond doing all those missions instead of having it off-screened would be so painful tho... but so good. Not sure when Orochimaru would proposition Sasuke though.

Basically, Team 7, specifically SNS together, go around the world, see how the times they live in shape the world around them in various ways with all the different issues of their world, and then Naruto promises to find his own ninja way (like he did in the LOW), and become Hokage to help change that, making allies and bonds with people along the way, etc etc etc.

I have a few ideas about how they could change the things they encounter but I'll leave that for my fic :D

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking 2022: #3 - Germany Year Zero

1948, dir. Roberto Rossellini

Every year on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 100 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a series of posts about my Top 10.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Rossellini last year. Especially his War Trilogy. (Shameless plug for my youtube page, I did a video on Paisan and Rome, Open City as an intro for a series of essays on Fellini. Check it out!)

During my lowest moments I really fear what the world is going to become over the course of my lifetime. Rising fascism, intolerance, climate change, wealth inequality… these things keep me up at night! I studied history in college. Whenever something bothers me, I look to the past for answers. There’s reassurance in knowing that everything I worry about has happened in some form somewhere. Since time immemorial, people in the past have tried to leave warnings for the future, guidance for avoiding their mistakes. You can’t always translate that advice 1:1,  but you can take pieces of that knowledge when you can. 

As I grapple with my country’s lazy strut towards fascism, I look to the cinema of post-war Italy. These filmmakers lived through the rise and fall of a similar ideology. They were all changed by the realities of war, and their art reflects it. Rossellini began his career as a propagandist, a child of wealth and privilege that got swept up in normalized authoritarianism before shifting paths during the war and becoming a staunch anti-fascist. It’s no surprise that the crown jewel of his post-war films, Germany Year Zero, follows a city of collaborators living in the rubble of their defeat. Rossellini understood better than anyone the ruin and monstrous emptiness that fascism and war leaves behind.

Germany Year Zero was shot in the remnants of Berlin after the end of World War 2. Rossellini shot it in the neorealist style he had developed: minimal sets, scripts, or production fussing. Casting actors he found on the spot, often non-professionals. Frequently shooting what we would now call “guerilla style.” Part of the terrible wonder of this film is that these choices make it so real. It gives the film a documentarian quality because it uses so, so many real elements that Rossellini discovered. Perhaps the most real element is the omnipresent despair that hands over every character.

The film follows a family living under the Allied occupation. They were full collaborators. Not passionate ideologues, perhaps, but in that true ‘banality of evil’ way that is presently leading so many conservatives to ruin. Everyone else is doing it, and it’s easier to keep your head down and believe the bloody dreams the government is selling. But now they live in the literal ruins of their beliefs. Their apartment is falling apart around them, and the interim authority has assigned other families to live with them, because the other buildings have been bombed through. They share no camaraderie - their experience of the war has made them distrustful and greedy. The eldest son of the family is in hiding, too. He was a Nazi soldier who fought to the bitter end, and hides from the authority for fear of being put on trial like the rest of his brigade. We see all this through the eyes of the youngest son, Edmund, whose entire life has basically been the Nazi regime. 

Edmund is the perfect lens to view this destroyed world through. He is a literal child, and his view on events is immensely simple. His family is hungry, so he wants to help feed them. He wants to play with other children, so he goes to where they’re gathering. He is told he has to obey, so obey he does. But his mind has been twisted by the cruelty of the regime. He’s a product of his parent’s upbringing. When circumstances force the family to make drastic decisions, Edmund steps up as the ‘man of the house’ who has to make tough choices. 

So, naturally, he kills his sick father so the family will have more to eat. 

This is what you want, fascists! You want to train your boys to be killers, right? You want them to be strong, to do what is necessary for the Fatherland no matter what, right???? This film is a depiction of those ideas coming home to roost. The people left alive after the war have to reckon with themselves, with the horrible systems they’ve been propping up. Berlin is shown as a city of walking phantoms and lurking ghouls. The people are left with nothing. 

In the end, wracked with guilt and still subsumed in the same misery he was in before, Edmund leaps off a building and dies. He kills himself because he reflects the despair and confusion that his entire world faces. He can’t see a way out, because literally all he has known is the message that there is nothing after fascism. He is too young to die - but this is what this ideology does to people. It makes them believe there is nothing but itself, that a life of forgiveness and penitence is impossible. 

The feeling of this film is what’s going to permeate Russia in a few years. It’s what’s going to be left in the right-wing circles of America. It’s already being seen. Broken, sad, stupid people living in the consequences of the misery they perpetuated on the world. It serves no one, it builds nothing, it only leaves us with rubble on which we can try to build. This film is a stark warning to those who would try to embrace this evil system. You will not receive an empire that lasts a thousand years - your civilization will be reset to zero, and you will be left with nothing as your children suffer and rebuild with the heaping trash you have left them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you made it this far why don’t you give me a follow on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep obsessive track of all the movies I watch. Feel free to drop a line if you checked this movie out and want to share your thoughts!

[gerudospiriit]

[Bruh, not to be emo on main here, but I was just thinking about Nabooru as I do and hnnnnn. So, now I'm sharing that thought with ya'll.

I've probably mentioned it before. Growing up, Nabooru was basically the definition of "lonely but not alone." Basically, she always had people around her, and always had Aveil as a friend along with a few other people she would spend time with every now and again, but...she always had this feeling of not really fitting in or connecting with her peers. It didn't help that she progressed through her training faster than the other girls her age and trained more often with the older girls of the tribe, which created its own conflicts and challenges. It was always a struggle for her to relate to either group. The girls her age often had very different interests along with the bond of their shared experiences in classes and training. Even with the older girls, her interests still didn't quite line up, and most of them wanted nothing to do with the squirt of an upstart because she was too young and they didn't like that she could keep up with if not best them so young.

Even when she tried to be a "normal" Gerudo teen not obsessed with combat and becoming part of the Elite among other "boring" things, Nabooru always felt uncomfortable and like the odd one out. Talking about finding Hylian voe, dating, having children one day, and having just general fun and letting loose in Castle Town didn't appeal to her, and when she tried to bring up her interest with the others, she could see them dying of boredom. If she tried to act like they did, tried to feign interest in whatever they were talking about or wanted to do, it made her feel too fake. And she tried REALLY hard to not care and put on brave face about it, but there was definitely always a longing for someone that just...got her AND she could be her full self around without worry of judegement or boring or annoying them. Aveil was usually fine, but even with her, there was always SOME disconnect. No matter what, Nabooru always just...felt like she was different and I guess she technically his because of her dad but.

All of this is probably why she unwittingly found companionship with Ganondorf down the line because she wasn't really looking for a relationship, platonic or otherwise, with him. Considering her skill and goals to join the Elite, she knew she would be working with him eventually as king and subordinate, so she never expected to actually form any kind of deeper bond with him. But because she quickly found that they had a lot of common interests, similar goals, and dreams for their people, it makes sense she would gravitate toward seeking out his company. He didn't seem to get bored of her talking about some new fact she read about or a new move she was trying out or a new idea or dream she had for the Gerudo, and that resonated deeply with her, even if she wasn't really aware of it. Having someone just a few years older than her actually connect with her was huuuge for her, and probably helped her maintain her confidence and conviction in her path and decisions for her life.]