#and because my brain doesnt know how to keep things simple

[the-s1lly-corner]

not sure if you’ve done this already but how would slenderman react to the reader hugging his tentacles? and generally showing affection to it.

Reader who hugs n kisses slendermans tentacles!

dont think i did anything like before so yahoo! honestly as much as i love slenderman, thinking of a whole boat load of ideas over the course of like. 9? years, this never crossed my mind. your brain, huge

its not often that you see his tentacles out, usually theyre for his hunting as well as defense.. and to look more intimidating. you know, generally not something that he wants you to be around for..

but i think every now and then they creep out during down time with you, perhaps during a cuddling session with your tall monster boyfriend? or maybe you even get him to indulge in "play" (not that kind of play get your mind out of the gutter) and his tentacles slip out, like you guys playing simple games

the image of someone playing tag or hide and seek with the forest demon is making me chuckle, something much needed post mini cry/freak out session LMAO

personally i like to think that he can only half way control his tentacles. like yeah sure when he needs them they're out, but for the most part they do their own thing, you know?

set up down, lets get to the actual request. his tentacles are colder than him, and admin is personally torn on making them slimy or not... perhaps slightly so? like juuuuuuust enough to be just a little oily but nothing insane, kind of feels like your hands after you just put lotion on them. smooth, too

very cold. i know i mentioned that theyre colder than him, but its like ice cold. so...

basically he doesnt expect you to show any love to this part of him, so hes thoroughly confused when you grab one of them and gently press your lips to it.. then let go. then grab another and give it a kiss as well

cue a confused head tilt before his voice comes into your head to ask what on earth youre doing

isnt it uncomfortable, with the slight ooze? isnt it too cold? doesnt it at least taste a little off?

torn about it, because on one hand hes used these things to kill. but on the other hand he mostly kills in order to protect his space and to sustain his body, and admin likes thinking that he sometimes gets a bit of guilt. call it him resenting his own existence and simply wanting to be left alone while having a natural curiosity for the world around him even though he only really destroys the life around him

also he doesnt like giving you stuff from victims, and i think he would have similar feelings about his tentacles

and yet... he cant deny, that he can hold you closer with them, that he can keep you nearby with them... and that you love him, and every part of him. undeniably, you do. i dont know, its something that when i think about it, its sweet

this creature is full of resentment, for himself and the world he was put in as well as the one who made him (zalgo cough cough au stuff) but here you are

assuming the reader is a human i think it hits even harder, because youre something that hes built to wreck and destroy. and yet youve given him pause, and that was enough for you to win him over

and you never stop surprising him

im getting off topic, but im just a sap for concepts like this, you know?

"its rotten work," "not to me... not if its you" but its you and slenderman, basically

i think the first few times when you start showing his extra appendages affection he pulls them away from you, maybe even forcing them back and tucking them away

but i think over time he melts into it and accepts it...

oh how cruel it was, for the universe to give this reclusive creature a sense of longing, which has been exasperated now that hes gotten a taste of it first hand

[xkaidaxxxx]

Villain's love

Dabi x reader

Mentions: scolding, torture, pain, betrayal, heartache.

no proof read. Will be a part 2!

“You’re a disgrace to us heroes. How could you stoop so low and fall in love with a villain, and who is the right hand man of the leader of the LOV!” Midnight yelled. Mr.Aizawa, a.k.a your father called you to the principal's office. At first you thought it was about the fact you skipped school for 3 days while he was gone for hero duties. The big 3 are your best friends and they would beg you to attend class and you refused.  “ What have you told him?” Principal Nezu asked sternly. All you could do is cry and grip your father’s shirt. “ I haven’t said anything and I don’t plan to.” you replied. “ How did you meet him? How do you even talk to him? These past couple days have you been with him?” Midnight asked so many questions it was overwhelming you. Aizawa gave a dirty look at her signaling to leave his daughter alone. “ I was walking out at night in the city because I needed to clear my mind and I wanted to be alone… There was a group of men… They tried raping me..they tore my clothes off…then Dabi beat them and burned them alive… He tossed his jacket to me due to my torn clothing… I knew he’s a villain..that he’s in the League of Villain. I was terrified and he saved me. I thanked him. He walked me back to campus..he stayed across the street hidden just in case. After about a week later we bumped into each other and we just talked..we set up a day and time to meet up. I needed to give his jacket back… we spent the whole saturday hanging out..No villain shit to be clear. From there we just met up multiple times…We’ve been together for 6 months.” You replied crying. The teachers stayed silent. They felt bad about what could’ve happened to you. “ We can’t trust her..I’m sorry Aizawa but we have to report her to the authorities.” Principal Nezu said. “Are you kidding me? This is my daughter! She’d never do such a thing! She’d never betray UA. If she did, the LOV would’ve made a move long ago.” your dad defended you keeping you close to him if he had to fight. 

“ We can’t automatically accuse her of being a traitor without any proof. We can bring in a doctor to give her a lie detector test. His tests are a bit more painful.” All might, said. “I’ll do it. I’d never do anything to hurt people.” you replied. Little did you know it would be painful on the next level. 

You were taken to a room and a man started strapping you down to a table. Cables were being attached around your body. You were scared and confused. You looked at the large glass mirror knowing everyone was on the other side listening and watching. You whimpered as a doctor injected a large amount of a clear liquid in your neck. “ What the hell did he inject?” Aizawa asked. “He’s not only checking her heart rate and her brain but also forcing the truth out of her. The serum is the very painful part. If she lies it will torture the truth out of her and if that doesnt work they have other ways apparently.” a nurse replied to him starting the recording.

 “I’m going to ask you simple questions and If you don’t want to feel like you're being stabbed or shot continuously you will answer.” the doctor said looking over at your vital signs. “ Are you Y/n Aizawa?” He asked, “ Yes, I am Y/n Aizawa.” “ How old are you?” he asked. “ I’m 18 turning 19.” you replied scared of what crazy he will eventually ask. “ Your heart rate is up a bit. Are you hiding something?” He asked, writing something down on his tablet. “ No.” You lied and suddenly felt pain through your body. “Tell me the truth,” he ordered. Your body twitched. “ Yes! I am hiding something. I’m scared about all of this.” you said as sighed in relief. “Mhm see how easy that is. “ Who is the villain you fell in love with?” he continued with his questions. You started crying. “ I’m in love with Dabi.” you replied. “ You’re crying? Are you sure? Is he forcing you  to say that?” he asked, looking at the high tech monitors. “ I am sure. I’m in love with him. He isn’t forcing me to say anything.” you replied knowing this will lead to you being tortured. “ How did you meet him? In detail.” the doctor said. “ I walked alone in the city at night. There was a group of men who grabbed me and took me into a dark alleyway… I tried my best to get them off me… They called me dirty things..like I’m a slut..and whore..that I would be a good treat to them.. They tore my clothes off and their hands roamed my body. Dabi showed up throwing them off me..he took his coat off and covered me..then proceeded to beat them up..he burned them alive. He walked me back to campus making sure we were unseen by anyone. He stayed across the street from campus hidden, making sure I got inside safely. I thanked him for saving me and said goodnight. ” you replied crying. Hating to remember how the men tried raping you. Take your innocence away. “ Did you meet him again after that encounter?” he asked. You nodded yes. “ We bumped into each other a week later after the incident.” you replied. You saw two nurses walk inside with a weird machine. “ Where did you see him again and what was done?” He asked, signaling the nurses to start setting up something. “I saw him by the park…it was around 6am. I was out to do basic errands for myself. We ended up spending the entire day together. No villain activities were done.” you replied. “ What were your errands for that day? Were you planning to do more that day? How did no one recognize him? What activities were done?” he asked. “I needed to get to the store to buy snacks, a heating pad and some pads. I got my monthly period. I was planning to do more. Just watch movies, play video games and eat junk food. No one recognized him. He was wearing a hoodie and he had a face mask to hide his burned face. I saw Tamaki and asked him to take my things to the dorms. After that Dabi and I talked for hours and played some stupid games.It was fun” you replied smiling. 

The questions went on and on. Then the difficult ones came up. 

“ Have you met any of the other villains?” he asked. You refused to answer because you didn’t want your father to hate you. Your body shook and twitched. Your body moved so much, the straps held you down. “ They’re hurting her! Give her a break!” Aizawa yelled, grabbing a nurse's collar. “ Stop, she agreed to this.” All might, said. He did feel bad. “ Give her another one.” the doctor said. You felt a prick. Another dosage of the truth serum. You screamed in pain. “Yes! I have!! Shigaraki, Toga, Twice and Kai!” you yelled. You cried and cried. “Has any of them asked you for information or threatened you?” you couldn’t handle it. You needed a break. You were overstimulated. “ Y-Yes!!! Toga. She asked for Ua intel on what we have planned. She threatened me.” you replied. “What did she say she’d do?” the doctor said. You couldn’t say what she said to you. “ She’d kill me.” you lied. You cried out in excruciating pain. “If you don’t answer our questions we won’t inject more serum. We’ll just use the old way. Electricity doesn’t seem nicer.” he said. “She said she’d kill my papa! She’d give him a slow and painful death !I don’t want him to hate me if he gets hurt! I can’t let him get hurt! I don’t want him to hate me! My dad is everything I have!”you cried loudly,trying to relax. Failing at it. “ Did you give them any information?” he asked. “No. After that Dabi told Shigaraki to not let anyone lay a finger on me. To keep me out of it. Since then I’ve been safe. He takes great care of me.” you replied breathing heavily. “Why do you think he takes care of you?” you looked at the doctor in rage. “He saved me from two horrible situations and maybe more after this! You and other heroes only care about the greater good!” you yelled trying to get out of the grip of the straps. “You’re talking like a villain alright. What makes you think that? Are you planning to betray the heroes? You’re father?” he asked, taunting you. You fell into it. “ Heroes would sacrifice someone for the greater good. It could be a loved one..a friend..or a civilian. It sucks to know that you don’t matter as much as you think you do to them. At the end of the day they will more than likely sacrifice you…a villain would burn the world to save someone..a loved one and random person who needs help. Dabi knew I was eraserheads daughter. A hero in training and even then he stepped in. He saved me. He’s done so much for me in 6 months. I know every one who knows about him and I highly disagree but it's the truth. I know my dad would never give me up. He’d protect me in the end regardless if he’s a hero or not. He’s the best dad ever. Better together. I’m lucky to still have him even after I caused all this mess. ” you replied. “Him doing so much is the truth and you have a strong bond with your father, you're not in any pain. You are very lucky and privileged” the doctor agreed. You were asked more questions and they let you go 2 hours later. Your dad and All might make sure to take you to the hospital. You stayed there for about 2 weeks. Missing Dabi like crazy.

Your quirk is an amazing one. Very strong. You hold multiple quirks and can create new ones. You were scared. Having to control multiple quirks was difficult as a child. Most parents would keep their children away from society. Your dad didn’t. He sent you to daycare, elementary school, middle school and now High school. To him you grew up fast. He loves and cares for you, his daughter. He’s so proud of the woman you’ve become regardless of who you are in love with. Yes it’s crazy but you found kindness and love within Dabi and the other Villains they just were treated horribly in their past and had no one to help them. They had to fend for themselves. They lost it along the way.

You communicating with Dabi was not through anything cellular. It was through handwritten letters. You managed to buy a bird through the black market. He gets the job done in delivery and fast.

As soon as you were discharged from the hospital and back to your dorm you fed the little fella and started writing.

Dear Dabi,

The heroes found out about us and I don’t know who and how someone saw us together. Don’t worry since I don’t have any info on you guys besides Toga threatening me, you’re all fine.They tortured me badly. They asked how I met you and it was hard to tell them what had happened. It was terribly excruciating pain. All I thought about was trying to relax, being honest and needing you.

I was at the hospital for 2 weeks. I miss you a lot. We should meet up soon. Actually they’re probably going to escort me when I need to go into the city so after awhile.

How are you? Has anything come up? Are you safe? No cough or cold? No fever? Are your friends being nice, if not let them know even if you need to scare them.

I love you very much. Please stay safe. Keep the the love of fire within you ( you’re telling him to get a new hide out or move to a different one.) Keep in touch if you can.

Love you very much. I’ll respond every 3 days after I receive your letter okay so no need to worry if I’m okay.

Much love, Haru

(both agreed on your code name being Haru after all you met in clear weather and since then you felt love and joy.)

Pt.2 will come.

[himabyul]

Satan & Violins

I share a lot of similarities with Satan, even when before they canonized something about him; one of them being violinist!Satan😭 In spite of me having a mini identity crisis following the drop of his canon violinist card, i think it makes sense! heres why.

Disclaimer!

1. I have not picked up an instrument in years

2. This is purely bcuz my brain is so busy thinking abt Satan so its kinda rambly. . Pls bare w me T_T

3. THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY

4. Not too used to tumblr writing just yet sorry if it's messy

(Uploaded on my twitter aswell :D)

The violin and its family, unlike other string instruments (ex. the guitar), doesnt have these little things (that i forgor the name of because im a bad musician) that separates every note. those little separating thingies are the reason why people who dont know shit about playing a key on guitar but memorize musical scales (me) is at least able to strum a simple one octave melody.

Obviously, the two come in with their one difficulty (i prefer the violin myself), but it's a little bit harder to pull that trick with the violin. As you can see, theres not exactly something to tell you where each note begins or where they end. Nothing to determine where is where. You simply have to memorize the placement and the distance between each note. You basically play the violin with Your Gut (1). We'll keep this in mind for now.

Moving on, let's talk about body posture.

Beginner violinist usually directlty face towards the strings when playing, as they aren't used to letting their 'gut' lead the show. However, more experienced players would find no need to do so. A quick glance at Satan's art could tell us he was at least above beginner level to be brave enough to face (us) instead.

When you're not facing your violin, you would usually lean your head towards it, resulting in your ear becoming the closest thing to it- here's a real life example:

Now, if there was anything my teacher warned me before starting violin, is that even without having your ear be the closest thing to it, the strings are already LOUD😭 so its even louder when you alr have ur ear on it. The violin is considered one of the most emotional instruments ever, their lower sound resemble what we use to express sadness in speech. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, you as a player are forced to feel what you're playing. Thus is also why you play the violin with Your Heart (2).

So, how does this tie into Satan? It's no secret that our handsome man is incredibly romantic, and to me if he ever wants to express something to us and making sure the message is clearly received, the equally emotional violin is his best bet! The violin allows Satan to play heartwrenching notes that would quickly be felt by the listener.

Lets get technical.

There's still another side of the violin, as there is another side to Satan. The way you stroke your bow matters, the way you angle it so you'll only hit the notes you want. (thankfully if you mess up, the violin is made to still sound graceful😂). Satan too, is quite the detail oriented person. He is tactical, analytical, observant, a man obsessed with striving to be the perfect one, etc etc. The need of preciseness of the violin is definitely right up his alley. The way you need everything to be correct to be rewarded for a beautiful sound. Idk exactly where I'm going with this but it's basically intelligence meets emotion kinda thing, do you see it too?!?!

In conclusion, the violin is a wonderful instrument that both requires great attention to detail yet is also incredibly emotional and heartfelt, an instrument that requires your gut and heart guide your play without abandoning technique. Satan, the incredibly smart yet fluffy softie, is quite literally made for this and I LOVE HIM for that RAAAAAAHHHH. im normal.

THATS IT RLLY im soooo sorry if it's incredibly messy please have a sugarry picture <3 ily

[nemo-bros]

this is my new visual schedule:

i have no idea how to image describe pictures with so many things in them, so I'm sorry I have no image description, but I will do my best to explain the purpose of each page (left to right top to bottom)

the cover (keeps pieces from falling off if I put the flipbook in my backpack or something) the cover also has my name on it but I cropped this out

'first next then after' page (the main page I use, has my soonest upcoming tasks- I take pieces from the 'to do' page and put them here)

'to do' (at the morning I fill up this page with my tasks like cleaning, chores, and studying- I do have cards for other fun activities and eating but I only ues them on the first page in between tasks from this page)

'done' (when I finish a task on the 'first next then after' page I move it here- it gives me dopamine to see everything I finished that day and makes me less stressed about the amount of things I need to do)

hygiene page- this page is actually so so good its like a cheat code- If you take nothing else from this post at least take this idea: the top (orange) section is for the morning, the bottom (blue) section is for the evening. in the morning all the cards will be in the morning section, when I finish a task I get to move it to the evening section (repeat this for all 6 tasks). in the evening I do the tasks again but the cards get moved to the morning section this time. (if there's a day where I didn't finish then I just move them anyways the next morning as a "reset") this page is in my book but it's probably more helpful just to leave it in the bathroom on the counter or mirror or something (without systems like this I cannot take care of my basic needs, even with these supports and the additional supports in my home i cannot reliably take care of my basic needs)

images 6-9 show some of the word storage pages, I have a total of 10 of these pages

if you're curious at all how i made it let me know and i will post the steps i did to make it and where I got all the pictures!! (I want everyone to be able to access systems like these if they need them, so I am very open to sharing this)

something i really really like about this flip book is that its very tactile and very visual- it does not require very much brain power to use- I really like to just move around the pieces on the pages with the velcro as a stim

i was promted to do this because recently a teacher told me I just need to manage my schedule better and that I should be trying harder (little does she know I'm trying my hardest already)

ive tried so many types of schedules and routines and I just cant stick to them (this is one reason I suspect adhd in addition to my autism but idrk and it probably doesnt matter), but then after she said that I was like okay I guess this is a good excuse to try a visual schedule so I made one (very time consuming but also fun) and then am still disapproved of for some reason... I think she thinks its "too childish/I'm not disabled enough" which I disagree because if it helps and they need it then they should use it regardless of sterotypes- i think this is true for all adaptive tech and disability aids

my point in showing this is to let other autistc adults know that you can use visual schedules if they help you and to boost someone else's confidence for them to use an aid they are afraid to because its stigmatized (also yes mine looks kind of simple/etc but I chose to do it this way because it works good for my brain like this- not because its how all visual schedules should/need to look)

[menalez]

Don't be a pendant and a hypocrite. On the one hand you always accuse Israelis of being Europeans (European Jews who lost two thirds of their population) and now you are pretending Israelis (almost 75% Jewish) were affected by holocaust is a lie. And if you are going to deflect by pointing out that Israel has unequal wealth distribution (like literally every other country in the world) to criticize Israel, meanwhile Hamas has a revenue of hundreds of millions of dollars and their leaders are billionaires yet Gazans rot in poverty. And there's a difference between Israel attacking Hamas targets hiding among civilians too take them out vs Hamas attacking Israeli civilians because they want to genocide the Jewish population. You don't understand the difference between war and genocide and everytime someone points out the double standards you tokenize a few Jews to keep doing the hypocrisy.

i wrote a whole thing but tumblr glitched out and honestly someone as dishonest as u doesnt deserve my time so let me summarise

true: israel was formed by european jewish people, and zionism is a european ideology.

false: israel was formed by holocaust survivours

also false: zionism was formed by holocaust survivours

also false: zionism was an ideology that came as a result of the holocaust

true: there are holocaust survivours & their descendants who live in israel today

false: the holocaust was an attack on israelis, a group of people who didnt even exist when the holocaust was ongoing

true: a huge percentage of the european jewish community was killed in a genocide (the holocaust)

false: a huge percentage of the israeli population, who again didnt exist as an entity during the holocaust, were killed in a genocide.

to anyone with two brain cells to rub together, theres an obvious distinction between claiming israel lost 2/3rds of its population to the holocaust and claiming european jewish people, many of whom are not israeli, lost 2/3rds of their population to the holocaust. the former is intentionally misrepresenting history to justify an ongoing genocide, the latter is the reality of the situation.

when you can only justify israel by pointing at hamas, then you’ve already lost. i already oppose hamas, so your counterargument doesnt work. if the bar is so low that you can only justify yourself by pointing to an extremist islamist group then perhaps you already know how morally decrepit you & your genocidal movement are. dismissing the same holocaust survivours you pretend to care for by saying its mere “income inequality” that 1/3rd of holocaust survivours in israel are impoverished shows exactly how much you care about holocaust survivours. its beyond sick using survivours of a genocide to justify another genocide, while proving that you actually dont care for those survivours to begin with.

hamas didnt exist when israel raped and massacred and expelled palestinians in 1948. it doesnt exist in the west bank, where thousands of palestinians were kidnapped & 100s killed & thousands displaced due to settler violence that is backed by the IDF. israel choosing to attack UN buildings, schools, residential buildings, hospitals, and the same “safe routes” they tell palestinians to do to with no attempts to minimise civilian casualties isnt somehow justifiable when you pretend its all done to get hamas. israel killing palestinians and injuring many more in 2018 when palestinians protested peacefully cant be justified by hamas. starving all of gaza and withholding water & fuel & electricity cant be justified by hamas. several israeli politicians outright calling for the genocide of palestinians in gaza isnt somehow justified bc of hamas.

“few jews” please keep pretending like jewish people are all pro-genocide and occupation while pretending like im the unreasonable one here.

people like you who justify genocide in the face of this much evidence are monsters, plain & simple. you are disgusting.

[deadtiredghost]

so i turned a oneshot into a series. and that exploded into a whole thang in my brain but I'm probs not gonna write it any time soon so i am deciding to post some stuff here.

rottmnt Leo centric cause this is all based on a few fics I wrote.

This is just a fun what could happen after the movie outline but darker than I think rottmnt will ever go.

the kraang left Leo with a badly cracked shell and some lasting issues in his left leg - Mikey painted his cane blue

Leo started doing independent research into mystic medic shit after the kraang attack. the team medic headcanon fr and I think CJ would deffo also know medical mystics which spurs Leo on

Leo spends a lot of time with CJ, coparenting fine with Casey after they figure each other out - makeup is the main thing they share in common because Casey has beautiful red eyeliner and Leo has his own beautiful red stripes.

Casey and Raph bff propaganda! they finish off the foot together or smming.

Triceraton arc:

the triceratons are fucking huge in rottmnt, like Leo doesnt come up to their ankle huge, and I see Raph using his hologram things to get bigger to fight, Donnie supporting him like in the kraang fight, Mikey using his super-strength to do damage and Leo initially being all flashy like he usually does but eventually realising that the only way they are going to have any chance is to use his portals to straight up chop the heads off of the triceratons - a CJ and Draxum approved plan.

cue angst and guilt - theyre like, 19, 18 & 17 respectively. they have encountered death before but never actively and intentionally killed anyone.

but like Leo would absolutely live in pain if that meant his family would be safe. and we have seen this time and time again.

#just super soldier problems:

and then the transition from these two alien invasions back to shutting down the run-of-the-mill villain of the week is jarring, and all the bros have a bit of trouble adjusting to non-leathal levels of strength

its good when they're just up against meatsweats or smming cause he got a similar mutation and can take their full force punches while even some yokai just need a gentler touch.

i'm thinking a teenage baxter stockboy is particularly difficult for this chaotic team to deal with because they're loud and violent by nature, while they need to shut off his tech without significantly hurting him

none of them are good at steath apart from Leo and none of them are good at tech apart from Don so to avoid raph eating more metal Leo decides to split the team up, which is met with resitence of course, but Leo is the logical planning guy and Raph and Mikey let emotion cloud their logic more than half the time.

I want Leo to get frustrated at how his family dont quite understand what he is trying to get at - #just ADHD things.

He needs to learn to be better at communicating, but his family also need to understand that he's not trying to procrastinate or goof off, it's kinda hard to explain something, even if its simple, when your brain is going a mile a minute and its so clear in Leo's brain what he wants that he forgets it isn't clear in other's (does that make sense? taking from personal experience here)

I also want Leo to learn in this conflict to stop relying on himself to avoid his siblings being in danger, because while he had told Dr Feelings over and over he got it and he wouldn't - he totally would and still hasnt stopped putting himself down to keep his family afloat.

Don gets an arc! its about being in an unhealthy relationship!

Don dates Kendra for a time. I think canonically Don would have a crush on Kendra, but it's not a healthy relationship and no one in the family likes her, which just allows her to isolate Donnie from their family etc. Kendra doesnt return as a 'villain' just an antagonist for Donnie personally, because the Purple Dragons cant just vanish from the story entirely.

imma give Donnie a Timothy as a friend because I feel bad for hurting them.

Rat King Arc:

like every villain in rottmnt, the Rat King is a significant issue they have to deal with. He is a human who wanted to discover the mysteries of Yokai and went crazy with empyrean use.

Unfortunately he can mind control rats... cue splinter angst as the family need to fight their father who is trying to kill them.

Big Mama makes a deal with the Rat King for Splinter becuase he is profit. Leo has to deal with her one way or another, so he makes a bet.

Unfortunately for Big Mama Splinter has a really bad back and Raph is very aware of his constant complaining, so he takes advantage of that to restrain him in battle, and then Splinter manages to snap out of the mind control because Raph smacks some sense into him (and some magic) - after Raph got mind controlled they all did some mind-protecting-techniques with Draxum for a while.

This whole Rat King arc is particularly hard on Raph :[

they go home happily ever after with some fun new trauma of their dad trying to kill them.

BISHOP!

next there is bishop, because Baxter is just a kid, he is barely a threat, and Donnie would just wipe any evidence of them off his tech of course? HAHA, nope. because bishop gets involved.

it takes a hot sec before they take Bishop seriously tbh. it was always a fear but as they had gotten more integrated into the Yokai city they had gotten too relaxed, relied too much on Donnie's tech and gotten too focused on their social/academic lives. so the government snuck up on them.

theyre about 22, 21, 20 at this point in time - they have already met Yuichi Usagi, Jennika and Leatherhead, and Donnie and Mikey are currently attending Yokai Uni.

So theyre all settled and "retired" from ninja stuff when disaster strikes and Leo and Raph get kidnapped by Bishop. Time for the pb&j duo to get them back!

Tigerclaw Arc:

I have more ideas involving tigerclaw but those ideas hindge on the ending of the Bishop idea, cause I have conflicting ideas for how it could end.

japanese assassin sent to kill the last few members of the Usagi clan so Leo gets involved and gets a new villain all to himself. (either Leo looses a leg to tigerclaw or Leo had already lost a leg to Bishop and is adjusting to his prosthetic still while fighting tigerclaw) Mikey, Raph and Don meet Kitsune, Alopex and Venus respectively during their trip to Japan and figuring out who has sent tigerclaw to attack their friend.

Haha. I threw Kitsune in there because she is another interesting villain and I would love to see rottmnt Mikey interact with her and slowly realise she isnt one of the 'good guys' and challenge his worlview that 'everyone who helps him must be nice and a good person' - tho i'm conflicted as to whether or not have her as a villain or just a criminal that fucks off to never be seen again

after all this they go get therapy.

Hope u enjoyed, just my brain has been circling these various scenes in my brain since 2024 started and I'll probs never get them onto paper, digital or otherwise.

if anyone felt inspired to write anything with one of these plot ideas in mind, feel free to! Would absolutely love that!

[eeryuck]

UHHH HI!! Any p1 x p2 headcanons 🥸?

hai . accompanying doodle + three songs that make me think of them

first and foremost i think they are sooo fking codependent its so sickening. i dont know why i feel so strongly about this but i think that 1 brings out the worst in 2, making him insanely fking. ragey. aggressive. reactive. couldnt tell you why thats just my truth. 1 is ALSO like this but he represses heavily and just takes what 2 dishes out until he breaks and they having a screaming match in their house that the whole fking neighborhood can hear (2 moved in with him… offer from 1 that he was heavily against until ermm…idk.whatever.) . then theyre. fine. reset on their fight meter.

when theyre NOT at each others throat or 2 is kicking 1 around like a sad wet dog i think theyre very.. couple you couldnt even tell was a couple evn if you were squinting. out in public at least. 2 is still quite shy even in the privacy of their own home but he loosens up a little.. 1 isnt too different but hes so desperate for 2's gentleness thats hes a little more forward. gentle touches on 2's arm or the back of his head as he moves around the house . the occassional kiss on his forehead when 2 is sitting around. simple touches. he can barely function but fuck a guy desires normalcy. and 2 does too i guess but he has a harder time expressing it. anyways 2 rarely ever reacts but hes boiling inside it embarrasses him a lot. their bedtime situation is basically the same.. they hardly ever cuddle especially admist fights (1 will attempt to sleep on the couch and despite how angry 2 is he always beats him to the punch so he doesnt have to). 2 is quiet about his affections. hes more of a gift giver so when he and 1 get on opposite work schedules he'll pick things up and leave them around where he feels 1 will most likely find them. little stuffed things or snacks. knick knacks. odds and ends. 1 tried to acknowledge it before but 2 gets very tsundere sorry so he just picks it up and moves along because he know 2 Knows that he appreciates it.

i do not have the brain to keep going. hope you still love me

[violentviolette]

i think i have aspd or traits . but i dont wanna go to a psych and be like " btw here are my symptoms ive never told u about before , have fun ! ( insert the entire ASPD criteria here ) . sorry " because that makes me look bad & i appear the opposite ( passive , fearful , not aggressive ) , & dont want to appear as a threat and i most definitely dont want them to think im manipulating them when im not ( like for example when im just telling them my symptoms regarding other conditions ) . and i dont want to admit to committing crimes incase they report me or i have to go through a security clearance for job reasons and they go thru my stuff . anyways as far as anyones concerned i seem nice but weird but not the type of person to have those kinds of symptoms , and i want it to keep my Good Girl(tm) image . but also . i dont want to start having legal issues , become dependent on substances , pursue any illegal occupation , etc since it would suck to get caught and im only 21 so i keep trying my best to avoid it everytime i almost continue with it , but i need help bad lol . any idea of what i should or can do ? anything helps

okay real talk but literally do exactly the opposite of everything ur doing and also get out of ur own head and stop overanalyzing every thought u have to find justifications for not doing the very simple basic first step towards what u know is the right thing to do but just dont want to because being vulnerable feels yucky and ur scared

i say this with genuine compassion and no judgement because i *absolutely* did and still sometimes do the same thing but unfortunately the only way to get urself out of that cycle is to get over urself and touch grass (encouragingly) so that u just Do The Thing u know u need to do

being open and honest with a therapist about ur thoughts and feelings is the only way to get any actual positive growth or help out of it. u cant fix what u dont talk about and keeping it all to urself will only drive u more and more insane. staying cooped up inside ur own mind without telling other ppl what ur thinking out loud creates a feedback loop of crazy. u gotta hear urself talk to another person sometimes to actually really *hear* urself, u know? ur brain is where the crazy is and u cant stay there alone and expect it to work out and get better. u have to talk it out and be confronted and challenged with other viewpoints to realize where urs are disordered if u look for reasons not to do something u will absolutely find them, and while i could offer rebuttels to a lot of ur concerns, things like how ur medical records and psych details are not that detailed. u doing illegal behavior like stealing or doing drugs is not something that gets listed on those and falls under patient confidentiality. the only thing that gets documented is the official diagnoses name which most therapists are going to be very reluctant to hardline diagnose someone with aspd (and even then it only gets logged with that practice and submitted to ur insurance only if ur seeking care like meds or hospital stays or get incarcerated. otherwise, if u dont tell someone "i saw dr.x at yclinic from 2019-2022, then they have no way of knowing or finding out what that dr wrote on their internal records/notes. there is no centralized database of "medical history" outside of ur insurance company and specific practices internal networks) individual symptoms like "illegal activity" do not get listed and unless ur planning on enrolling in the military or working for the feds no job is looking more deeply than that into ur history unless u personally volunteer it. what comes up when specific companies do background checks with a medical history is ur insurance records. ur insurance only knows what gets submitted to them specifically, if ur therapist doesnt file paperwork with ur insurance to list aspd as a diagnosis they are looking for ur insurance to pay them to treat u for specifically (instead of more generalized things like "depression" "anxiety" or just "mental health care" ect, which they have to get ur permission to do) then there's no paper trail of what u two talk about in that office or how ur "good girl" image is legitimately worthless garbage and will grant u absolutely nothing in life and clinging to it in the false hope that other ppls perceptions of u will change who u actually are and make u happy is only gonna lead u to looking at ur shitty unhappy life in 5 years and being filled with nothing but regret and anger and wanting to kill urself or that while u cant know or control how ur therapist sees u or reacts to the things u share with them, u can control who they are. if u fuck up with this therapist or it takes a turn u dont like or they start treating u badly, u can very much just get another one. u can request a different person at the same clinic for any reaosn or u could switch clinics entirely. most insurance in the us is taken by more than 1 provider in an area and there are almost always multiple practices that take the local insurance. and even then, if u wanna drive 45mins to see a therapist a town over cause u burned a bridge with this one u can do that. ur not beholden to a single person, u can get dozens and dozens of opinions. ive had over 15 different therapists in my life. if u fuck up with one u can always get another

but all those rebuttals dont really matter because if u want to, i have no doubt u could find counter points to all those points. i know i could if i tried. so really it just comes down to the simple question of are u going to keep standing in ur own way or are u going to cut the bullshit and take it seriously and do the hard thing because u know its what u need to do? ur young still, uve got so much time, dont waste more of it waiting for the perfect solution or situation because it will never exist. do it now, do it messy, do it scared, fuck it up and get it wrong a bunch, and then try again and again until it works

[actualbird]

Hi Zak!! This is a pretty random ask but i was just wondering if you have any tips for starting a fanfic/story? I just keep getting stuck on how to start one (I really love your work/blog 🙏 feeds my tot brain rot fr!!)

hi anon, im glad you like the stuff i make ;w; !!! and ohhh, sure i got tons of tips for that!.....so many that i actually wish i cld get u back here to ask what specifically about starting a story u'd want tips on but for now, i'll go for a general overview :D!!

cuz....to me (i.e. based on my writing process, which i'll be drawing heavily from for these tips), the act of Starting comes in three distinct steps, one after the other:

Idea Generation (what is the story gonna be about and how do i get ideas for that?)

Concept Organization/Outlining (how is the story going to be about this idea and how will i be executing it?)

Creation (GAH, HOW PUT WORDS ON PAGE!?!?!?)

so i'll give general tips for all three!!!

-

Idea Generation Tips

(this is the step that i personally have the least trouble with because my brain makes 5 new ideas every day. it's kinda a curse now because it leads to me having too many wips and concepts and only 1% of them gets to the Creation period jhvjhVJKSHFVHJS BUT ANYHOO, TIPS-)

Check Out Prompt Lists (super fun and easy way to get an idea! theres tons of story and fic prompts out there that you can search up here on tumblr, some of them being lists of lines of dialog or lists of AUs or scenarios. even if you dont follow a prompt exactly, they can be great at kickstarting ur brain into thinking of something related that you Do wanna pursue)

Open/Ask For Prompt Requests (if ur brain doesnt have any ideas, u can ask around and see if anyone ELSE has ideas theyre alright with you writing! my tot fics "reviews for Time's Antiquities, South Stellis | Average Rating: 4.8 Stars" and "but little do we know, the stars welcome him with open arms" were both inspired by anon asks i got!! to those anons who sent those asks, i owe u my life....but yea, maybe other people can give ideas to you! or, again, give Something that can inspire another thing in ur brain to take shape)

Just Ramble With A Friend (SO MANY OF MY FIC IDEAS started because i was just goofing off and playing idea volleyball with fandom buddies in our DMs (shoutout to sam samsspambox, z lukevonhagen, and beck beckthebeetle for being the main culprits of this). like, what started out as a joke conversation eventually makes go "oh no wait i actually wanna see that as a fic" and then boom, Idea Has Been Acquired. but fr, talking with another person makes your brain create things u never thought about before. it's both tons of fun to chat with a buddy as a sounding board, and it yields awesome concepts for stories!)

For Fanfic Specifically, Think About What You Want To See In Canon But Hasn't Happened And You Want It So Bad It's Driving You NUTS (this can be anything from missing scenes you wish were expanded on, scenes you wish went a different way, character relationships you wish you could see more of in canon, go nuts! the fun thing with fanfic is that it's a fertile playground for all the what-ifs, and a lot of my fics' ideas were simply found because i thought "man i know tears of themis is never gonna show me deep found fam moments/artem ptsd consequences after main story 6.2/mariluke, so imma make it myself" JHVSJDHF. ideas are hard to make sometimes, but brains are so good at desiring things. and all those desires? those can also be Ideas for a fic!)

-

Concept Organization/Outlining

(very much skippable if your writing style/personality is more receptive to free-wheeling!! im just the type of writer who always needs an outline to begin something. it helps me structure a raw idea with no shape into something clearer that i can envision a story for)

Outline A Rough Chain Of Events Chronologically (this can be as simple as three bullet points, what happens at the Start of the story, the Middle, and the End. or maybe you can go list down the portions of your fic according to the Freytag's Pyramid Plot Structure: Exposition, Inciting Incident, Rising Action, etc etc.)

Outline A Rough List Of Stuff You Just Want To Happen In The Fic (if your brain is like mine and isnt too great at chronological thinking, make a list of just all the plot points and events or even dialog exchanges u Want to see in the fic. you can organize it in the order u want later once uve put everything down)

Outline The Themes (moving away from plot, many stories are more focused on feelings or characterization or themes. so make a list of the Concepts you want to tackle. this is something i do for my fics that are more introspective, so i outline shit like "EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE INTERNALIZE SELF-LOATHING followed by EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE'S VIEW BE NOTICED BY ANOTHER CHARACTER")

-

Creation

(the worst part of writing....is the writing JAVFJVSDKHFDJHJ but nah fr this is the part i have the hardest time with, so here are tips that help me kickstart the word engine)

You Dont Have To Start Writing The Fic From The Beginning Of Its Story, Start Writing Wherever (confession: a good 75% of my fics are ones where the first scene i actually wrote down was not the start. instead, i just wrote the scene i was most excited to write. and usually thats somewhere in the middle! i do this cuz it makes my brain happy, and a happy brain is much easier to pull words from than a sad brain. plus, when i see the scene I Like Best already written, it gives me motivation to do the rest of the fic because oh my god i want everybody to sEE THIS ONE DANG SCENE!!! start writing the fic at whatever point you want, in whatever order comes most naturally to you, is my point. you can fill the rest in later, but hey, starting to write where you Want has gotten you Started. now you just gotta finish, and finishing when you already have something down is much easier than starting from 0)

Set Tiny Wordcount Goals. And When I Say Tiny, I MEAN TINY!!! (writing is intimidating but if you set a goal of say, 100 words written for a wip per day, at the end of one week, you'll have 700 words. at the end of two, you'll have 1400 words. at the end of a month, 3000. small goals help since it makes you do Something, and that Something will inevitably compound, no matter what goal uve set. and let urself be proud of the goals uve achieved!!! writer brain gets happy when you tell it it's done a good job at reaching a wordcount goal, and like i said earlier, happy brain is much easier to work with than sad brain)

Give Yourself All The Time You Need (i know this sounds counterproductive but sometimes....the best thing you can do for the part of your brain that wants to start creating....is waiting til it's ready. dont pressure yourself, cuz brain will get sad. dont be too hard on yourself, cuz brain will get sad. start when you want to start in the way that works best with your brain and see where things go, but be patient with yourself. sometims Starting is actually the longest part of writing a story and thats fine. it will happen. trust)

-

thats all the tips ive got! and of course, what will work for me wont always work for other people, so please feel free to take what you think applies to you and discard what doesnt resonate.

i hope some part of this can help! happy writing :D

[hypnoneghoul]

Can you give advice on storywriting? I love the idea of it but I cant do it properly?

Struggling with wording and like how to make each character their own/how to make a well written character??

Aandd how do I know what information to keep and what to tell? I always rush to tell things and I struggle with "show dont tell"

And pacing lmao😭 I dont know how to pace my stories well

You seem to be really good and I read your book (I litterally.. tried to learn polish for the sake of reading it lmao;;; its so good) and a few of your stories too.. any tips would be appreciated

first of all, oh my gosh, I'm literally honoured hshshsh you tried to read my book??? gonna break down right here pleaseee thank you😭

okay I'll try to get to it as well as I can, I hope it'll help at least a bit. you can always message me or send more asks <3 under the cut because its long

making the character be good, have a personality that's actually theirs is probably the hardest thing in writing. it's a bit easier in fanfiction than original work because you see them acting on stage and you see the headcanons so you have a base for it, let's say. but it's still hard. id say there are three ways of approaching this. going off vibes, projection and careful scheming and planning.

going off vibes would be just "okay he does on stage that, so i think he'd act like that off stage", pretty simple, going mostly with your guts yk

projection can go a long way. two ways actually. you can write a character that similar to you or you can write a character that is something you're lacking. of course you can mix it all, but thats the best i can describe it. my rain is me, my dew is me, my swiss and mountain is what i wish i had. caeril is me, neithan is me, etc.

careful scheming and planning is also a good way but if done wrong the character is not gonna feel real, its gonna be dry and just fake. what i mean by that is finding a character sheet with physical characteristics as well as personality traits and thinking it all over, carefully planning what you want the character to be. i myself don't do that, it feels too... artificial for me. if used correctly, tho, it can really slay because then the character can be very well thought over

you gotta try different things, u dont have to write a big 10k word fic right away. you can if you want of course but id say start with one shots, make them your character sheets. do some character study, create them and then put them into a biger picture. it takes time and practice, as evereything

the thing with show dont tell is also a thing of practice. theres no rules as to what info you should keep and what is unneccessary. show dont tell doesnt mean just show, never tell. telling isn't wrong, but writing should put the reader's brain to work, they should be seeing what you saw when you were writing. the best way to do this is basing on the senses. when writing a sentence and you doubt if its necessarry, ask yourself "okay if i was a reader what does this sentence give me? does it give me anything? what senses does it influence? does it help me paint the scene in my brain?". gotta go with feeling and overtime youlll find the perfect balance between showing and telling descriptions and that'll be your style. i make my works pretty descriptive and easy to imagine for the readers because i started with tolkien. i aspired to be like him which is of course impossible but slivers of his writing style can be seen in mine. one of those slivers is rich descriptive imagery

pacing the stories is also really hard. main rule is to not make it boring, but how to achieve it? lmao its not that easy fr. if you do an oneshot you can keep a standard introduction-main part-conclusion structure. first paint the situation, paint the place where this is happening. main part should be the longest, this is what IS your work, the most important thing. conclusion can be slow and short. tell the reader how the main part of the text changed something from the introduction, just nicely close it out. of course you dont have to, we love open endings but this is the easiest thing, id say

with bigger fics, multichapter, go wild. introduction is important but you dont have to put in on the beginning. you can start mysteriously and explain what the fuck its about in te 3rd chapter or even at the very end. build some tension but also give the reader a moment to breathe. the longer the text the more possibilieties you have but overdoing it is not good either, plan it, sketch a storyline. as everything, its a thing of practice and finding your style

and doing all that never forget about the technical bits. good story that has a terrible formatting automatically becomes a worse story because its not nice to look at. learn the proper ways to format a dialogue, work on punctuation, dont forget to capitalize (says me without a single capitalized letter and the worst grammar punctuation and typos in this whole post lmao im trying to type it in quickly sorry). dont be afraid of clicking enter, make space. formatting can also be helful in building tension, short sentences do that. you can highight an information by putting the sentecne with it alone in a line. a lot of things, also style, but you still should keep to the actual rules. treat your work as something great, dont do it half assed. treat it like it'd be supposed to be published, yk?

okay im done this is so long ugh i hope anything here is at least a bit understandable sorry but also if u or anyone have any more questions feel free to hit the ask box/dms hehehe

[gardengobbo]

I want to keep this blog garden/wildlife focused but I wanted to explain my absence. I know it really isn't needed for a garden blog, but something I want to do is include talks about mental health if/when I do someday make content.

TW for mental health nonsense below the cut.

Without going into everything, I've been getting completely destroyed by my depression this year. To be honest, the last couple of years have been extreamly hard. But this year with the help of my doctor I'd applied for disability assistance to help cover the costs of my medication and bills. I've been waiting for any sort of response since I submitted my applications in March. I finally heard back only for the province to determine I don't qualify because my disability doesnt create enough of an impairment, and on the federal side they wanted more information because it had been so long since my application was submitted. ...? Because they took so long? It's frustrating. But that discussion is a whole other bag of worms I'm not wanting to go into.

The garden is supposed to make me relaxed and feel peaceful. I think I'm just so exhausted all the time that I can't enjoy it much anymore. When I do go out to do stuff I feel like I'm just doing it because if I don't, I know that it just makes me feel worse to see everything in disarray.

When I am doing stuff that I enjoy though, I really like recording the work I do on it and I want to share it! But editing takes so long, it ends up being months behind by the time I get the clips put together how I want and then I feel stupid posting it. I've given up on most of it now, despite spending more than 28hrs total editing a days worth of footage. The files take up too much room on my phone so screw it. I kept some of it and maybe the smaller ones will get made into an actual video. All I'm really doing is adding autocaptions and editing my mannerisms and pacing so it's frustrating to me that it takes so long to do so little.

With everything else going on right now I think I also feel like it's a waste of a day to just edit something so simple, when there are so many other things I feel like I need to be doing, or should be doing.

I'm just overall so exhausted I can't even do things I enjoy anymore, which is very frustrating when you know you need to take time and relax and care for yourself.

If anyone takes anything away from my complaining here, remember you're allowed to make time for yourself. I know it's super easy to say that and to hear "self-care is a necessity." But for me I understand that and believe it wholeheartedly, but for whatever reason I can't change the feeling that it doesn't apply to me. I have to keep pushing my self. And so far I've not really been able to figure out how to change that feeling. I don't know if that's something anyone else deals with but it's such a hard thing for me I want to say if it's like that for anyone else too, you're not alone in that.

Depression is a bitch, and our brains are dicks.

That's all I've got about this for now. Some pretty photos are coming up after this post though.

Much love

[wewontdieunbloomed]

this is part two of unlearning the bad things i unconsciously learnt from last year.

part one was the negative default pessimism i fall in to, which i keep calling it me being emo which means i dwell in my “misery” for far too long, instead of trying to think of something positive to get myself moving out of the bad zone i am in. as we are often told, sadness and negativity gets comforting, it feels like you are protecting yourself. but one cannot see beauty in life and find joy for oneself if one does not make oneself vulnerable.

and so making myself vulnerable is what ive been doing. trying to romanticise this state that im in, a liminal space, at crossroads. its not the most ideal, too many things are unknown and for the first time in my life im dealing with having barely any structure to my days, with nothing to do yet so much i should do.

it took me quite a while to stop lamenting this unknown and start returning to the foundations i built this blog and my entire philosophy off, the whole concept of “lest we die unbloomed” of making sure i dont realise one day ive wasted my time. and in small parts i like to think ive made progress on that

the focus now is the second part. i lost a lot of my attention span and impulse control, and today i reached a horrible point where i am sitting on the kitchen floor at 9 with no dinner, having ruined my microwave dinner out of a lack of common sense. i am not sure if all this recent muddling is because of covid brain fog or the horrifying amount of screen time i have had recently, but i was so sick of it. i have done a lot of things on impulse recently, and though today i had a really fulfilling day spending time with people i havent in a long time, when i got home and im back to reality of the things i havent done and been procrastinating for too long on, i felt horrible. this need to change, i realised.

so this is part two. it calls back to one of the values i set as something important to myself, being honest with myself. i know what im doing now is not working. i know that even though i use my planner im not sticking to it. i know my todo lists are not helping me. then why do i stubbornly stick to methods i know dont work? i told myself a year ago i would not change my system if it doesnt need to be changed. i have forgotten that i need to change it when it does. how silly! so im changing.

so in the last 2 hours in order to get myself up ive written todo lists on paper instead of in my journal. used a timer for every single step from shower to sweeping the floor to brushing my teeth. enough lazing around and letting simple things occupy too much time. its a parkinsons law thing.

enough doomscrolling and opening instagram when i have nothing to do. im setting a limit for a block of time in the day where i am not allowed to use social media, pwrhaps not any internet at all. i need to make drastic change, even if it seems inconsequential. it might not be academic but its personal. and my personal life and what i want to do with my time is worth taking big measures for, because it should be more important than all that revision for exams i used to do.

so the point f this ramble is to clear things out with myself. make some sense of whats goijg on. have a direction. tomorrow i have an interview. ill come home and do the chores i have to. prepare for my afternoon activity. go for lunch and my afternoon appointment. go for a run. buy dinner. write my applications. research on uni stuff. read a book. and all the other tint things i need to give more importance to even though they seem inconsequential. it sa new mantra ive gotten into ever since part one of this. that “this is the way” this is the new way. enough lazing. its time to go hard and be rurhless. take things up a notch because when else can i do it? go big from experiences to measures i have to take to discipline myself. this is the way.

04.04.2023

[coldercreation]

Hiii, wanted to answer this in te comments but didnt know that tumblr doesnt let you write long comments soooo, i’ll share you here my thoughts about your last post.

I feel like in new friendships we do take things slow at the beginning as a protective mechanism for ourselves because even if you are interested in the other person, they may not feel the same way about you and it is better to start things slow and not to rush them out. Simple and short conversations to now if you are compatible and stuff. Thats how i think friendships go most of the time. Ofc it may not be necessary that way and it would work out in a matter of a day or so. I have 2 friends that met each other at college in the first day of the semester and somehow found out they had a lot in common and they clicked sooo well, they started being friends that day and currently they are still best friends. It’s insane…hasnt happened to me yet hahaha.

In the dating department i’m not sure because i havent dated anyone lol so take my opinions with a pinch of salt. But maybe that feeling of acting hard to get and showing desinterest to a potential partner actually makes the person more invested in knowing you. Like, i don’t really get the psychology behind it but maybe people that are already interested get intrigued enough to keep trying to know the person that is acting aloof. And i do think that taking things slow and chatting casually is kind of the same for friendships. You start slow to test the waters first, make sure if you are compatible etc.

But that thing about showing interest and people stop talking to you because of that…idk it might happen because it feels like they are too desperate? or maybe like they want something else? That intensity may be scary but i do think it depends on the situation and the people involved. Still, generally, if we dont focus on things like feeling afraid of intimacy and stuff, most people would want to be a little more hard to get to not seem like…keen and desperate? And that way the other person can feel like it wants to meet you more, like cracking a code. If it’s too difficult and you are not that interested to begin with, you probably will walk away, and if you are interested, it may awake your curiosity and interest to keep going.

I feel like I started going off on a tangent somewhere hahah But it is an interesting topic

About what you say in yours tags, i believe you have to give yourself credit for trying to be friends with people. When we are younger we may just stick around people because of proximity and because we are young and tend to be more friendly(?? like, you are friends with your neighbours because they live close and you go out and play, and then you are friends at school because you see each other everyday and are still developing your personality and you are all learning together and probably you go with the flow more easily than when you are an adult. You may start working with people with widly different interests than you and people have more defined personalities and have lost their childlike-way of interacting with people. We are more careful about it maybe. And yes, compared to when you were in school, you naturaly interact with less people regularly and it is more difficult to meet people compatible enough to be friends. Unless you go out frequently to meet new people (personally still struggling with that hahaha).

Anyways, this was an interesting way to start my day: actually using my brain. Did i make sense? Hopefully yes ajdksk

Thank you for this lovely!<3

I think you're hitting all the points I was thinking too! Slow and steady is probably the most natural and comfortable way to approach any kind of relationship, unless you find that kind of instant connection like your friends had!

It's all a very interesting dynamic/phenomenon for sure. I found some articles talking about how being too 'nice'/'open' can make people feel like you have ulterior motives, because why else would someone be so nice to us? Or, like you said, it's read as desperation, because apparently people are only openly interested and invested when they have no other options -> and if they have no other options, there must be something wrong with them.

I remember being like 5 years old and this other kid really really wanted to be my friend for some reason, and I just wanted nothing to do with them? It went so far that the kid told the teachers that I wasn't playing with them and tried to have it happen that way :'C Looking back I think I was also being a lil asshole lmao, but I also remember feeling uncomfortable with the way the kid just wouldn't leave me alone and would just follow me around when I clearly wasn't interested. So maybe it's also some natural reaction on some level?? Because I don't think I was rejecting the other kid to be malicious. I don't know, we were really young though, so I don't know how that'd apply later in life with adults' social skills.

It's so fascinating, because there definitely are personalities and times when a person just is genuinely... a nice person? genuinely interested in us? no ulterior motives but being friendly and wanting to get to know us? There's also a plenty of reasons why people might not have friends currently, and it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. As someone who had to build a new social cycle as an adult, this assumption always made me feel some sort of way lol. Like, people move cities/countries/jobs? People have health issues? People realise the friend circle they had wasn't a good fit? I find it sad that wanting to have (new) friends/not having friends is so easily labelled desperate or even a red flag (which it can be! but I think it should be checked case by case basis), but then again, I think that's more down to the way the person looking for friends goes about it?

These articles I found were from a romantic relationship perspective btw, but I think it probably applies to friendships too.

You made sense perfectly hahah, thank you for the response to my random rambles xx

[wandering-spaghetti]

I want to share one of my favorite little things to make. It's a go to item for me when I feel like making something but I really don't feel like putting much effort or thought in. A zombie project if you will. I know, sue me for wanting a low effort, low brain power something to do once in a while.

So what is this zombie project you ask?

Crochet wash cloths!

And super simple ones at that. I've come up with a size that absolutely suits my needs and works up within a couple hours of mindless crocheting.

The latest ones I have made are from a color I found at Walmart which is called "Chocolate Milk" and I just adore how the colors mix when working these wash cloths. I will add a link at the end of this post to the exact yarn I use as well.

These turn out so soft and sturdy they can be used anywhere from bathing a baby to moonlighting as a hot pad in the kitchen.

The magical part of these to me is the simplicity to make. There's no complicated stitches to remember or rounds to keep up with. It's all one stitch and you stop whenever it reaches the length you want. Personally I've found that and 8"X8.5" size is perfect for my needs.

For anyone wanting to replicate the "pattern" goes like this.

Begin by chaining 30. Turn

Single crochet into the first chain from the hook and each chain across.

At the end of the row chain one and turn.

Single crochet into every stitch across.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 until wash cloth reaches your desired length.

It's that simple! For even beginners this is a fun pattern to do because you only need to know how to chain and single crochet.

The finished product should look something like this.

Another reason I love making these is that they are so easy to take with along anytime I leave the house. I just shove my yarn and my hook in my bag and go so it's super easy for me to keep my hands busy if I get an idle moment.

I especially like to crochet in the car. I am usually a passenger princess whenever Travis and I are going places so this helps me keep my hands busy but also my mind free to talk as well which is something I seem incapable of doing while I'm on my phone scrolling Facebook or Pinterest because I have tunnel vision AND selective hearing apparently.

Crochet rather than scrolling saves me a lot of "Huh?s" and Travis a lot of breath repeating himself.

I spent last weekend snapping out a couple of these while we were riding dirt roads (a favorite pastime of Travis's) and checking out all the water from the recent deluge of rain we had.

Keep these in mind next time you have a creative spark but not much motivation to tackle a big project. They are great at making me feel accomplished but also not being too big of a commitment because I struggle with finishing things.

Amazon link:

And for anyone that likes these but doesnt want to make them, I have them listed in my Etsy shop as well.

Hope you've enjoyed this read and if you make any of your own wash cloths please feel free to share them with me!

You can find me on Instagram

Post may contain affiliate links.

[starlightkun]

Hi!! You write so well! I want to become a fic writer as well, but I lack knowledge of broader vocabulary terms, sentence structuring, and consistency. How do you write so well? And is it normal to search for "term" + synonym online 😭😭 I feel like cheating tbh.

accept that it's okay to write bad. it's okay to make "bad" art (which is, of course, subjective). it's okay to do things not "critically" good. like, the only way to get better at something is to do it. which means doing it bad at first. your first fic (or attempt at anything) is very likely not going to be your magnum opus. which, i also don't think should be the point of fic, personally? i've been writing fic pretty consistently for 10 years now, and it's always been bc i have fun doing it.

and be sure to read (books and fic) not just as a reader, but as a writer, too! i know when i read, if i come across a word, a motif, or a sentence structure that im kind of taken with, i'll make a little mental note like "ooh, i like that!" or "i never thought about that word order/sentence structure but i love how it feels" and see if i can use it in my own way later on.

and never feel like ur cheating for looking up synonyms for words like i cannot tell you how much of my google search history is "[word] synonym" like 😭😭 not only does it help prevent the overuse of words, but also i seem to always have words on the tip of my tongue, or my brain will reach for a word and grab one nearby in meaning but it doesnt have the right connotation/wasn't the one i know i need so i have to desperately search for synonyms and vibes until i can find it.

also never feel ashamed for using some simple words/sentence structure either! if every single word is so superfluously elegant, your readers will get exhausted, and nothing will stand out. just like using said!! i am a firm believer that there is nothing wrong with using said if someone is literally just saying something! like if everybody is growling and snapping and cheering and wailing all the time, then you'll never have any impactful, emotional dialogue because everything is emotional

TLDR; really, my best advice is to just start writing, and be willing to keep writing. and unless you're literally plagiarizing (this includes using AI to write for you, i cant believe i have to say that) then you're not cheating at writing

[waterfall-ambience]

(rotating the perpetua characters in my brain) actually no its kinda interesting how i can feel them shift away from hermitcraft as i write out the story, and how little changes to their situations and personalities can drastically affect the plot.

more (potentially redundant) brain thoughts below

damien, at least in the first 7 chapters of the script so far, has a very different personality to evil x. i upped his braincells and introspection for narrative interest (putting him at odds with wk), but that ended up growing into a tendency to ramble and be overly concerned with the moral implications of his actions. this (and helen being a positive influence on his emotional intelligence) actively hinders his villainy, just in a different way from evil x.

as a result, a large part of damien's character is how he rationalises and tries to resolve this dissonance of him recognising that he's doing bad things for bad reasons. thematically there's potential for social commentary here but i'm deliberately not going into that.

'why people do bad things for bad reasons', in my mind, mostly boils down to coming up for justifications for it or projecting onto the 'enemy' (scapegoating, essentially), which is mostly a wither king plot beat. hardly anyone ever believes that they're the villain of the story, just the heroes of their own.

meanwhile, damien is hyper-aware of the harm he's causing. he sees himself as his own 'villain', feels bad about it, but continues on the grand quest to destroy perpetua because it's something he agreed to do, and believes that on some level, he deserves the pain that comes from this. he and captain luna both share this quality and it will inevitably come to tear them apart.

its worth mentioning that captain luna is also very different from xisuma. xisuma in the hermitclone storyline was not portrayed in a very positive light (since evil x was the protagonist) and even if i was aiming for neutrality bc 'Hey, that's a Real Person's Likeness', he was always vaguely in the realm of 'well-meaning but horribly ignorant of evil x's struggle for identity and personhood'. because luna and damien dont have an author-character relationship i have no reason to portray them like how i would x and ex. luna is very quick to accept damien as being his own person separate from himself, and being the big damn hero that he is, shows more compassion and sympathy. the bigger issue in their relationship is luna's trauma surrounding augustin.

part of the fun of perpetua is coming up with character dynamics for relationships that dont exist within the hermitclone concept. worm man basically never interacts with xisuma (and even grows to resent him a bit after what happens to evil x), but luna and avery consider each other to be family.

avery and worm man's loneliness come from very different things. worm man doesnt have people in general- he's the outsider to a group of friends and can't join them for reasons beyind his control. avery, on the other hand, feels a disconnect from being the only one who was 'born into' perpetua and hasn't joined the crew 'on his own merits'. part of the difference here is in that perpetua as a story doesnt have to justify joke weirdness and that avery is a child surrounded by acomplished and talented adults

helen is actually the mvp because her presence as a grounded, well-adjusted adult changes drastically changes damien's life on marcianus. if she hadn't chosen to work against wk, damien would've been a more archetypical 'bad but sad boy' along the lines of zuko atla or hunter toh. not like he isn't already, but it would've been a lot worse. eidolon's characterisation later down the line is informed in part by helen's absence.

genuinely i didnt expect riza to be friends with avery since badtimes and worm man didn't really interact much. but i do welcome it because she's fun to write. she's quite a simple character right now, and i dont know if i should keep it like that or not because she works well as a supporting character.