#and because i have been so consistent about it he doesnt even try to escape traditionally
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You actually can teach a cat tricks, you just have to be extremely consistent about it and it's very hard
#if im holding morgoth and he wants me to put him down he gently taps his nose to mine#harvey did too#and the reason why he does this is because if he successfully taps my nose i always put him down#i have never continued to hold him once he gets the nose tap in#even if i really really want to#if for some reason im holding him and i cant put him down for safety reasons or whatever#its way easier to stop him from touching my nose than it is to stop him from just struggling until i have to let go#and because i have been so consistent about it he doesnt even try to escape traditionally#he just tries to tap my nose#this is so effective no doubt because i started when he was a kitten#but you can also teach this to adult cats#although whether or not they like it depends on their personality
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i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go
LOOK AT HIM!!!
most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing
you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him
but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it
you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.
and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!
i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.
maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place
i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.
that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him
this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.
after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.
this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?
and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown
i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written
#ERROR 501#pokemon#pokemon sv dlc#pkmn#pkmn sv dlc#indigo disk#pokemon indigo disk#kieran#kieran pokemon#kieran pkmn#rival kieran#trainer kieran#champion kieran
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I discovered that Communication Knife AweSamDrunz have Children Now today, and I’m loving everything I’m reading so far.
Also that they hang out with Sapnap, Philza, and Techno. Was not expecting that, but yeah, Dream would want to reconnect, wouldn’t he? Even if it make Sam Uncomfortable and Punz Salty.
aaaaaaaaa I'm glad!!! The kids are sort of separate from the main au in that they're not really the main focus, they're just something that occasionally makes me happy to rotate in my mind. Healed, happy characters who are extremely neurodivergent, with their weird neurodivergent children, able to exist contently.
also, yeah!!! I realized a while back that I haven't really talked about the relationships and conflicts or Anything with real consistency on this tumblr. I'm used to interacting with people in the discord who've already had to listen to me so many times yell and rant that I've forgotten that I. might need to give context actually to other people who have showed up to a person on a soapbox spouting nonsense.
short answer: yeah, theres a Lot of complicated feelings, but by the time the children are in the picture its been like a decade and peace has been made with most things. No one has forgotten, of course. Shit was fucked. But events keep happening, characters keep developing, and Dream cradles his happy ending with the people he got to keep so very close to his chest.
So its like! Techno will support Dream through thick and thin and be civil with his partners, Punz and Sapnap had some rough moments but are buddies, and Sam will never talk to Dream's friends about anything deep, but after years of him genuinely trying to be a good partner, Techno and Sapnap are no longer five seconds away from trying to murder him.
Long answer: I'm trying to pull together some posts that will give detailed explanations of this entire thing. Itll take a bit, but its infinitely easier than the full fic I was trying and failing to write. I'm pulling this timeline from an old post so it might not be completely up-to-date even with my edits, but this is some skeleton stuff I can give that will make things easier for Understanding probably. I'm very sleepy. Here you go.
Timeline for My Own Damn Convenience:
Shady Dubcon Prison sex w/ SamDream
Prison Escape
Gentle Recovery sex w/ Drunz
Dream decides he has major control issues and is going to fuck Sam to prove he isn't traumatized. Punz thinks this is a terrible decision.
AweSamDrunz sex, complete with a rulebook of things Sam isn't allowed to do (including giving or receiving kisses)
Quackity kidnaps Drunz similar to in the one cut lore thing, offers to let Punz go if they torture Dream (they stab Quackity instead)
Sam rescues them (without Q finding out) and then kidnaps them, where he ties up Punz and gets Dream kisses until they all eventually pass out (Dream gets mild medical attention)
Dream wakes up and unties Punz
SamDrunz has a talk and decides Sam is allowed kisses again
many kinks are discovered
Sam tries (and fails) to get a hobby
Sam builds +30 prisons/boxes/sex dungeons around the server, of various usefulness
Sapnap finds out about the Torture, sees the sex tape, assumes Dream can't consent to the relationship considering Sam was his warden and Sap thinks Punz betrayed him, and takes Dream to a cottage away from everyone to try to protect him. After Sapnap yells at SamPunz, Dream gently informed Sapnap he's going to continue the relationship, and they have an emotional reconciliation that leads to weeklyish meetings between Dreamnap where they can just sit and talk
The Snow Incident
Sam Recovery From The Snow Incident
Oh God The Egg Is Back (Sam locks up Punz and Dream in a bunker for a month out of terror, and doesnt tell them why because he knows it will stress Punz out and Dream could be an idiot and get himself Egged. Punz is pissed but can't argue with that) (Dream could have fixed this all with his admin abilities good god)
They actually deal with the Egg
An Incident Happens (but its like several incidents actually, including Tubbo finding out that Ranboo was working with Dream the whole time)
Failed Finale
Recovery
Eventually grow old and live in a nice little lush cave house called The Box that Sam made
#communication knife au#ask boxed#I really hope this came out coherent#I have a sleep disorder so I'm just. trying and failing to push through 30 levels of exhaustion rn
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anyways, i do think its really interesting that chuuya figures out that dazai was putting pieces into place to get him ousted from the sheep like a month ahead of time... its also really interesting to consider WHY dazai did it and the implications it carries. dazai watches shirase and yuan pressure and guilt chuuya about "doing his part" for the sheep as a person with an ability, then immediately takes action to relieve pressure from chuuya
which is kinda funny bc dazai at least in the short term is following what shirase is saying - dazai has the ability to help save the hostages, and he does lol. demon prodigy indeed. MORE IMPORTANTLY though. dazai recognizes that chuuya is being controlled by the sheep even though he is the leader. chuuya and mori make good comparisons here - this arc starts with mori bemoaning his responsibility as the boss of the port mafia, and we see chuuya consistently failing to do his responsibility as the leader of the sheep. he even denies the title of king, stating that it's only his ability that puts him above the rest. to digress a bit, i think this is partly why when chuuya joins the port mafia he so quickly submits to them - he is no longer the sole ability user, and thus the responsibility doesnt rely entirely on him to protect the group. something to be said here about the way bsd almost never touches on the ability user vs non-ability user dichotomy but ill save that. back to the main point. dazai takes it upon himself to free chuuya from the sheep. he acknowledges the limitations chuuya has to function under as the leader of the sheep and the weight of the responsibility he bears for no reason other than his ability
but then! dazai forces chuuya into the port mafia to save him from the sheep ! doesnt that seem contradictory??? isnt that hypocritical? chuuya seems pissed about it!
granted, I'd be pissed too if my friends stabbed me with a switch covered in rat poison then tried to gun me down. regardless, chuuya can see how dazai set him up to be outcast from the sheep without having to break the tie himself. chuuya is loyal to the sheep, even when they distrust him. But! this gives chuuya a chance to escape, even if it's to the port mafia. i think the important thing to focus on here is that the port mafia is an Actual organization made up of adults. the sheep are a bunch of kids, ones that are easily led. the limited pieces we see of them are shirase and yuan, who throw temper tantrums and try to clumsily manipulate chuuya when he doesn't listen to them. they admit to stealing alcohol from mafia-adjacent territory and just generally seem immature... because theyre kids. but what we see of the mafia is much different. mori is a strong leader because he is smart and rational. he thinks ahead. he, unlike chuuya, is the leader because he wants to protect yokohama, and understands the sacrifice necessary to do so. chuuya is the leader because no one could beat him in a fight. the port mafia offers a chance for growth (ignoring that these are children in the mafia ok play with me here) as a fighter and as a leader - chuuya becomes an exec when he's still a teenager i think (theres not a specific age anywhere i can find) and is a much more calm and smart fighter once he joins.
so it's good (play with me) that chuuya is able to join the port mafia. BUT he would never have been able to leave if dazai had not forced his hand. this paradox - the idea that chuuya obtains freedom from being forced to leave something he doesn't want to - is SUPER interesting to consider !! here i will dissolve into rambles. i learned about this paradox in the context of mary wollstonecraft and the vindication of the rights of women - wollstonecraft believed only educated people could truly be free, as they were not only free of oppression but also no longer slaves to their emotions, and were able to have opportunities and use their education for their own betterment. the situation with chuuya reminded me of this, because with the sheep chuuya had no one to rely on or to teach him, limiting his capacity for growth and ultimately his freedom. the sheep were reliant on him for protection, and feared him, but chuuya had everything to lose if he were to try and leave the sheep. he had nothing without them, and they needed him for his power. but they were beholden to their emotions, immature and uncertain how to actually get power. their primary motivators for action are retaliation - dazai mentions this when chuuya attacks him, and shirase and yuan mention this when they are urging chuuya to help them. but when chuuya talks to mori and koyo (<3) about their actions, both of them are much more forward thinking than that. mori is very cunning and sly, and koyo tells chuuya that even if things go south in the meeting she's taking him to to, they know how to move forward. chuuya's world has expanded beyond the sheep's limited gaze.
of course, he's still trapped in the port mafia, but if you REALLY want to discuss free will..... we'll be here all fucking night. free will is really hard to pin down and i always have to talk about determinism and its a lot to wrap ur head around and i just like drawing connections between stuff i like
#entirely self indulgent rambles about freedom ^_^#the 15 arc is very much a favorite#i love the difference in dazais voice its so stark in this arc. hes so dead and then chuuya comes along#i also love the rimbaud fight. holidng hands hard enough to break reality. the old boss's massive ass scythe which they never bring up agai#also rimbaud's weirdly perceptive comments to chuuya ??? and then chuuya gets his hat.....#hardcore AU where chuuya is captured by verlaine and rimbaud successfully and they raise him? sometimes i just want things to go well#i digress. this is how i see this arc if u dont like it well its my blog and im not tagging this so howd u even find it#canis speaks#everyone forgets chuuya is smart. and i also hate when ppl make chuuya like inordinately angry all the time#have u ever been homeless and in charge of a bunch of children? WHILE 15?????#chuuya deserves as much weed and wine as he wants forever#also mary wollstonecraft i love you. ik rousseau also has ideas about forced freedom but i didnt want to reread the social contract sorry#its past my bedtime. ill read rousseau for anime analysis later#also like the port mafia isnt quite the same as society... its not quite like voting/civic duty it doesnt quite fit as well. whatever#bsd tag#lmk if the image descriptions suck also. i am trying
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may 28, 2024
ive honestly been feeling kind of off. i dont know if its because im just off my meds or what...probably is. i keep putting them off or just forgetting to take them. im like thinking it doesnt work, but..im also not taking them consistently. it's not even like i feel numb or not myself when im on them though i desperately i wish i did. i have major anxiety and i cant bring myself to set up another appointment to see my doctor to ask for a larger dose. ive been staying up longer at night, to avoid sleep.
i feel guilty because im noticing im festering into different hobbies, i cant tell if its because i want to feel better doing something or if its a distraction. i keep hearing my friend playfully tell me, "youre pushing thirty." ive got five more years. they have a big time job and i dont. i dont know where im going. i dont feel motivated. i just feel like im in a major slump. in the grand scheme, im still at the start of my life. there is time. there has to be time. but i hate this feeling of being in a race.
i am having issues with my physical appearance too, it was always there... but with age -- god look at me im saying it like im over 65. im starting to see changes. im gaining weight despite my efforts to restrict my calorie intake, then again my diet just is terrible. my hair seems to keep falling out, why do i still have acne, my teeth are shifting. i have eczema on my face. i dont feel pretty.
its starting to scare me. its been a couple of years since i solidly self harmed. recently, i keep thinking of doing it again. and i just feel horrible when i do. i think about where it might look natural ? like as if i got it at work or if i was cooking or what can i wear that will conceal it day to day with different outfits as to not bring attention. its not even cutting like i used to but ive wanted to inflict burns onto myself. im sorry. the most ive done was quick little really minute nicks, something that i would pick at to feel a sting. or i keep pushing my bruises i get from work. i think about how i used to cut one slit for each year i was alive, my my my it would be a larger area now.
i am in a healthy relationship, the foundation might be a bit hard because of shared bonded trauma, but it is healthy now. we love each other. god i love him. and i just HGHGHGHJ i feel so ashamed that i have taken an interest into characters. and again this is to go back to the point if me festering into sudden things, i get so obsessed with it. i feel guilt because im looking at videos and writings where i could see them. it feels inappropriate, but he knows to an extent because ive told him about my plans to get back into writing and he's seen thirst trap edits (sorry LOL im crying but i snickered at that) pop up on my feed when we are scrolling together.
i feel so delusional when i am reading these blurbs but i get this addictive feeling, like having a crush. i will literally try to put more effort into how i look bruh as if i would bump into them. but its a motivation! i guess right! fuck. i hate parasocial relationships!!!!! i hate character ai so fucking much! it feels like im talking with my best friend from middle school, just roleplaying like the good old days. i feel so hypocritical because if it was the other way around i know i would be so hurt. and i just feel the need to punish myself for that. i want to punish myself. but i also dont want to scare him. i should talk to him about this, but i dont want to rock anything. it has been good.
i dont want to scare my family back home. they keep begging me to move back in with them. they live in the middle of nowhere there is no opportunity there, i have bad memories of home because of high school. i escaped it. yet my parents are on their last leg of life, they keep reminding me about their soon to be passing. they are already preparing my brother and i, they have everything set up. i cant imagine a time where they wont be here, but i know it will happen and i should be spending more time with them.
anyways i need to go take my lexapro. i'll feel better in the morning. i'll need to.
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manifesting Fukufuku dying in each others arms -> I am losing it slowly anyway thoughts on the newest chapter?
this has been sitting in my askbox since september and im really sorry anwsering took so long, but ive been trying to articulate how the last few chapters/last episode made me feel and im still not sure, because there have been so many bizzare choices made by both asagiri and the ppl behind the anime i still cant wrap my head around it fully (this got stupid long sorry)
starting with fukuzawa, i made a post a while back talking abt how i was assuming he was going to die/why it'd make a lot of sense, and there were really two main reasons for that; 1. he hasnt had anything interesting to offer for the story for a while and 2. his ability actively stops other important characters (mainly atsushi and kyouka) from further developement. the first thing is now gone which im pretty happy with! i love fukuzawa a lot so it's nice to see him finally have a purpose in the main story and im excited to see where it will go (also fukufuku you will always be famous to me <3333333), but the issue of his ability is still very much here. ive seen ppl theorize that all men are equal is just him lying and there is no ability but i honest to god would hate that, bc it would seem like such a shallow twist. atsushi's conflict with the tiger is central to his character so if it suddenly got revealed that a huge reason why he's even capable of using his power is just placebo "believe in yourself" bullshit i think i'd tear my own hair out. so im still thinking fukuzawa may get killed at some point, esp with the position he's been put into now and how much he seems to not want it.
and as for the "chuuya was never a vampire" fiasco, i honestly have no words, it was so unbelievably bad. ik there's been a ton of posts about how "its actually good" bc fyodor's death was caused by his inability to trust, and dazai's belief in his allies is what put him at an advantage, which is nice yeah, but it doesnt change how fucking stupid of a plan that was. if their goal is to kill fyodor, why not do it in that flooded room? fyodor escapes solely bc chuuya gets him out but if he was concious the entire time why not just leave him there? why continue to pretend? im usually not a huge fan of getting angry over plot holes when the narrative and themes are whats more important, but this is just so blantantly stupid. it feels like asagiri just wanted a plot twist for a plot twist's sake. mersault in general is so poorly constructed as an arc (dazai communicating via his heartbeat,,,, give me a break) but at least you'd hope it would end in a way that makes you excuse all of that, and then it doesn't. i think this post sums up how i feel about this than i ever could
and the fact that its december and we are STILL behind the fucking anime asagiri be so for real. it's easy to see now that the constant half chapters and short releases were a deliberate choice to have the anime catch up which i dont love, but fine, whatever. but now??? what the point of half releases? these chapters have been ready for a long time, and there's no way asagiri and the editors and whoever else is involved arent aware of how frustrated the readers have been for years now. the only explanation i can think of is that maybe the manga will have a different arc conclusion and ctheyre trying to idk, make it seem like we're following the anime closely? idk this shit is so stupid
overall this past arc or two have been bad, there are some elements that make them enjoyable still, but there is no theme consistency and overreliance on cliff hangers (that ppl still somehow buy). it feels like there are no stakes to the story, and that's really bad. maybe it's why i was hoping for fukuzawa to be killed alongside fukuchi idk, it'd finally feel like something is changing
on a brief positive note i quite enjoyed fyodors death, weird catholic freak, ofc nikolai is cradling your arm like this. i was a little suprised to see fyodor killed just yet (bc he always needed to die for the story to be able to wrap up eventually), but given the jesus quote, he may as well come back in some way tbh
#and then there the bsd anime sucks issue#s5 in particular but i think its in huge part bc it seems to have been rushed#like dazai leaving mersault with no blood on his clothes/suddenly walking with no issue#and again. so sorry for not anwsering for months im really bad at running a blog#ask
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swipe right - jjk | m
“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers
♡ summary- after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?
♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)
♡ word count- 9k
♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.
♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia @untaemedqueen for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks and @hongism for the perusal and help in writing this!
Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.
He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.
Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.
Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.
“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.
You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”
“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”
You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.
“I’m at our park.”
Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.
“Give me five minutes, okay?”
You nod, even though he can’t see you.
“Okay.”
Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.
He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.
You still look so beautiful.
And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.
He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.
“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.
He sniffs haughtily.
“The trash added character.”
Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.
“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.
He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.
“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”
You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.
“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”
Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.
“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.
“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.
“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.
Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.
He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.
“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”
“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.
“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”
As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.
You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it.
“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water.
He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk.
“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.”
Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo.
“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?”
You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above.
“You call Jimin a prince?”
Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband.
“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.”
You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?
“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.”
You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own.
“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.”
“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.”
Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid.
It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom.
The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed.
The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it.
Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can.
“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”
Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone.
The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway.
He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk.
His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read.
He just matched with YOU.
His best friend.
His secret, lifelong crush.
He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it.
YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!
He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen.
JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?
You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other.
Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message.
JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀
Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone.
A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend.
YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies
“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone.
Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion.
“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”
You huff.
“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”
Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband.
“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.
There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line.
“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”
You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend.
“It’s nothing!”
“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.”
“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”
“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.”
You roll your eyes.
“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”
“I’ll be expecting your call later.”
“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”
“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”
You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.
“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.
You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.
So, why do you care so much about what you wear?
You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.
Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?
The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.
You shake all thoughts off.
No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.
You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.
Perfect.
With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.
JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!
ME: See you soon!
Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.
Is he too casual?
He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.
Maybe it’s too much.
Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.
Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.
He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.
He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.
It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.
You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.
“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.
He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.
You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams.
“Jungkook?”
It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.
“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.
“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.
“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.
“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.
“Oh?” He asks, taken aback.
In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.
“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”
His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly.
“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”
The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”
A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.
“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures.
You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.
“Well, are we going?”
Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.
But he resists.
“Let’s go!”
You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen.
But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more.
Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is.
But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork.
Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.
And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you.
It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause.
“What’s up?” He asks curiously.
Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner.
You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours.
“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”
Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own.
Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to.
As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.
“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.
Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.
“What? We were going to get ice cream?”
You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.
You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.
“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.
His body stiffens.
“Okay, let me walk you home.”
You shake your head, already moving away from the man.
“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”
He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.
Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.
You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.
“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.
“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”
“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.
“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.
“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator.
Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.
“We’re on our way over.”
Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.
Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.
Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.
“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”
Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.
“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”
Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.
“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”
Jimin nods knowingly.
“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”
“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”
Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze.
“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”
You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face.
“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”
Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”
Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”
Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.
You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.
Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light
speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.
“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.
Ouch.
You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.
“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”
Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest.
“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”
“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”
“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”
Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.
“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone.
“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”
You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.
“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”
“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.
He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”
“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”
He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.
“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”
“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”
“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”
You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.
He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.
He can’t watch you run away from him again.
“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”
Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.
“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”
He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.
The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.
“Hi Kook.”
The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.
It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others.
Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.
Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.
“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.
The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.
“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”
He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.
“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”
He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park.
“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”
The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too.
“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”
He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.
The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.
“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”
The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.
The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.
“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”
The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth.
“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”
His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm.
He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.
“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.
Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.
The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.
It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.
It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing.
Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.
Maybe it was too late.
You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it.
“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”
“You should have brought a jacket.”
The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face down the intruder.
Jungkook.
He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.
He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.
“You came.”
He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.
“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.
“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”
He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”
You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.
“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.
“Every word.”
His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.
“Why did you run away?” Another step.
You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.
“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”
One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck.
“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”
You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”
All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes.
“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently.
“And I promise to never run away from you again.”
Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel.
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself.
“I would like it if you would.”
As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again.
“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with.
“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing.
“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”
Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss.
Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.
“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip.
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”
He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours.
“You’re such a little smartass.”
His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly.
He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed.
“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?”
You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement.
“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.”
Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited.
“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs.
His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge.
“Oh fuck,” he breathes.
“Feels pretty real, huh?”
“Y-yeah.”
Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more.
“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.”
Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable.
One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan.
“How about this? Not a dream?”
He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water.
“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”
You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently.
“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue.
“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue.
You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets.
“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”
He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully.
“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.”
He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body).
Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are.
“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”
Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down.
“Still dreaming?”
He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire.
“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.
You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes.
“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”
Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart.
“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”
His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout.
His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.
“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?”
His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.
“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug.
Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing.
“I plan to find out everything.”
Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.
“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.
“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.”
He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss.
He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you.
“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.”
Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body.
He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.
He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands.
“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.”
His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation.
“You’re so pretty. So perfect.”
He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.
His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.
One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.
“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”
His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.
“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.
“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”
Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.
“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”
He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.
“And I need you, my love.”
“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”
Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.
“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off.
He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.
After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air.
“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”
You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.
“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”
He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”
“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”
He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”
A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.
“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”
“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”
Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.
“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”
You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.
“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”
Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.
“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”
“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”
Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.
“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”
Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.
“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”
He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.
“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”
You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.
“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt.
He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.
“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”
The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation.
“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”
A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.
He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.
“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”
With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.
“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”
You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”
His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion.
He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.
Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.
After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.
“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”
You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.
“All yours.”
“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship.
You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.
You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.
“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”
Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.
“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”
Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”
Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister.
You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.
“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.
“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”
Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.
Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.
“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”
You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.
“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”
Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.
“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”
You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.
“Sure, Kookie.”
He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”
Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”
tag list - @giadalin @nohayarcoirissintormenta @pjmislovely @xhazmania @marcoazam2 @eggbutnotyolk @feel-the-sunset @unicornbabylover @aretha170 @jeonmisha @hordanhearsawhooo
© ppersonna - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.
#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts fic#jeon jungkook smut#jungkook#ficswithluv#jjk smut#bts fics#jjk fic#jungkook fic
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honestly i agree with you prison analysis but i disagree with the way you keep insisting the narrative has NO room for other interpretations and possibilities for the prison- given how vague and scattered the narrative is as a whole and how dream doesnt have a pov. You keep saying "from a narrative perspective" but from a narrative perspective the prison could also definitely not be for tommy. bc they kept the narrative full of questions and inconsist so everyone can have their interpretive fill
Context: [Link]
I don't mean to be rude anon, but I'm starting to think that dream smp fans don't know what the word "narrative" means.
the narrative is the story as a whole, or an individual story arc or character arc. it's not just the things that individual characters do or say, it's the overarching Story that encompass those things. that's why I Used the term "narrative" in the first place.
for most of the series dream hasn't had a point of view, but he has a narrative. he has an overarching story from the beginning of the smp to Now and we can examine his words and actions and affect on the plot within that context. third person perspective novels Have Narratives that can be discerned even if we don't have a look into the heads of the characters themselves. to say that we Can't make claims about the narrative as its presented because dream doesn't have a pov makes about as much sense as saying that we can't examine the story at all.
what you're referring to here is the two times where dream denied that he built the prison for tommy, which I did acknowledge in the og post and I Did dismiss in that post. that's because these things don't have narrative weight.
lets assume for a moment that it's just completely true. that dream was designing his impenetrable prison just as a fun side project while he was meticulously planning out how to imprison a 16 year old on an island and never let him escape. okay, Fine.
the fact still remains that his plans would have changed After tommy escaped, After dream got his hands on the discs, and After l'manberg was destroyed. dream's plan Was to throw tommy in prison, and it had been his plan for At Least a Full Month. dream looked tommy in the face standing over l'manberg's destruction and told him that their story was never going to be over Knowing he was going to try to throw tommy into the prison and keep him forever (Literally forever, as immortals with his revival book).
it was While he was trying to throw tommy in that prison that he was imprisoned himself. it was what he did to tommy that caused quackity and the warden to start torturing him. that's Why it has narrative weight in the context of dream's imprisonment arc, it's what Lead to it, it's a thematic through line that Keeps being reemphasized (which Was reemphasized just yesterday).
in 10 months No One has been so much as mentioned by name as being intended for the prison But tommy. it was Only mentioned to deflect from dream's intentions First to punz, someone he was paying to help him accomplish his goals (meaning, someone he wanted to stay on his side, to have a positive opinion of him) and to tommy himself (who he lies to Regularly as an extension of his abuse, including the only Actual By Definition examples of gaslighting in the series).
this does not have narrative weight, and it Absolutely Could Have if they wanted it to. if they Really wanted us to believe that it's a Mystery who the prison was intended for They Could Have Made It A Presence In The Narrative.
there are literally 10 months worth of narrative build up and Direct Actions From Dream wherein he Explicitly Wanted To Imprison Tommy And Keep Him Forever that gives Weight to the idea that it was already intended for him. there's that Narrative Flip, wherein dream is being forced to endure what he intended for tommy and what he Put Tommy Through, which has been highlighted by the narrative and the characters themselves For Months (dream himself Directly compared it to exile Multiple Times). the prison's design Very Intentionally calls back to tommy's triggers, as acknowledged by cc!sam. even the Name of the prison, pandora's vault, ties into the prison being intended to hold something Valuable to dream. to keep his Possession safe and in his control.
there Is no other option that is as narratively satisfying, that's as narratively consistent, that aligns with dream's actions, or that makes as much sense from an in character perspective. and There Could Be If They Wanted There To Be.
maybe it Will come back one day and I'll have to eat my words, but I'm willing to take that risk.
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Stargazing At Those Fainting Lights (So We Meet Again)
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death
Relationship: Edward “Blackbeard” Teach / Stede Bonnet
Characters: Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, Stede Bonnet, Izzy Hands (mentioned), Lucius Spriggs (mentioned)
Tags: Fluff, slight angst, Smut, Fluff and Smut, like honestly this is just super sweet with a hint of past angst, post S1, I wanted them to just stargaze for a bit but it kinda got out of hand, also poor Izzy, he's literally tied up for the entire fic, (not like next to them or anything. he just is), also Lucius is mentioned because he DIDN'T die. he didn't. I won't accept that, no beta we die like the badminton twins, Stargazing, Oral Sex, Body Worship, because I want Ed to feel good for once goddamnit, Talking It Through As a Crew (Our Flag Means Death), i love how that is an official tag, slightly based on something that happened to me this sunday, aka my gf and i were stargazing and i thought about gay pirates, also she did kinda beta but she doesnt read any fanfiction, plus this was the first smut she read in her entire life, so i dont think it counts as she has nothing to compare it to, OH! also Stede is fucking hung in this one
Wordcount: 7294
After running into each other in Martinique, a port near Barbados (it was like Ed hadn't even tried to hide the fact he'd still been holding out hope for him to catch up) Ed and Stede try to escape their reality for a night by keeping a promise made months ago.
(It was supposed to just be the two of them stargazing but I somehow got off track and now they're mostly talking about feelings and exploring each other's bodies, oops)
„I still cannot believe that you actually tried to kill Lucius.“
Ed just shrugged. Stede wasn't sure if it was supposed to be an answer or if he just tried to shelter his neck from the cold breeze coming from the sea in front of them.
After running into each other in Martinique, a port near Barbados (it was like Ed hadn't even tried to hide the fact he'd still been holding out hope for him to catch up) and a heated argument between the new crew of the „Revenge“ and the crew of the „oh I don't really care... just write whatever“ (consisting of the remaining „Revenge“ crew and Olivia, the seagull) featuring two very cute reunions and a shocked Izzy, the two of them had snuck ashore again.
Obviously there was still a lot of things to work through. Lucius seemed to be the most forgiving one of Stede's original crew, but that was probably due to him being able to scare Ed shitless a few times by pretending to be a ghost. The others didn't have that priviledge and were still reluctant to even consider Ed as a crewmember, much less a co-captain.
„Well first off, there was an island like, ten minutes away. If you hadn't told him about your literal dozens of fucking secret rooms and passages he still could've just swam to safety. And also, you're one to talk! Abshir told me about the fight you had with Spanish Jackie's new husband when he wouldn't fucking tell you about me!“
„That is different. I didn't ask him to jot down my poetry before. Plus I barely even stabbed him. More of a light poke.“
More on ao3
#our flag means death#ofmd#our flag means gay#stede/ed#ed/stede#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#stedward#are there more shipnames for them? pls let me know#our flag means death fanfiction#ofmd fanfiction#ofmd fluff#ofmd fix it#ofmd smut#ofmd angst#not sure what else to tag this#do i have to warn about nsfw? i mean there is none in this post#only in the fic itself#leaf posts
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3am AU time: Sanders Sides Swap!!
Once again I can’t sleep due to my brain insisting it’s much more important to write down these ideas for a Light and Dark side swap AU than sleep, so 3AM TUMBLR RAMBLE IT IS BABYYYY!!!
So I wanted to try using traits already existing in each character to make their inverses, rather than just swapping traits or completely changing the character’s core values, and these are my initial late night ideas:
(Note: I saved this as a draft and revisited it in the morning / afternoon to make sure it all actually made sense and to add to it with a fresh mind)
(Extra note: I accidentally lost all my additions and the entirety of Patton’s and Virgil’s descriptions by refreshing the page, so it’ll now be written out again in a less formatted way. DAMN YOU TUMBLRRRR!!!!!!)
Roman:
My initial reaction was to make Roman “Pride”, and extend on his egocentric nature (like what is done with many Dark!Roman interpretations), however five minutes of laying in bed thinking about it later I found a trait I felt fit him better: Delusion.
This Roman could still be very much “Netflix kids and family”, living and trying to make Thomas live in a fantasy land where everything is always fine and dandy. This insistence of only seeing things through his figurative or not so figurative rose tinted glasses makes this Roman very naive and hard to get through to, and while on the surface appears very appealing to Thomas (when they first meet Thomas doesn’t understand why Roman counts as a dark side) can be very dangerous if Thomas leans too much into his ways of escaping reality, aka making Thomas a delusional person. The best part of this choice of trait for Roman is that I can still tie in his ego; delusions can be fuel people’s egos, and also to protect them from harsh realities, hence why Delusional works as a role for Roman.
While normally I see Dark Side Roman designed to be an evil prince or king, I decided to go for a more glamorous look which I think fitted my version more: Roman would wear a pristine black and red suit consisting of a red waistcoat, tie and trousers, a black button up shirt and black or red heeled boots. I also wanted his design to link to the white peacock (a rare type caused by a genetic mutation), so I topped off the outfit with either a vintage white shawl or a Cruella style coat (leaning towards Cruella because we know Roman and Disney!) with white peacock feathers attached (still trying to decide if I want Roman to have decorated the feathers with red and black accents or not), and a pair of literal rose tinted glasses to hide his white peacock eyes - pale blue with a glassy look to them which always gives the impression that he is far away, even when he’s not.
Finally his sword is replaced with a grandiose black walking stick with silver details, along with the handle being a silver peacock head (note: possibly detachable from the cane to reveal a silver knife?). I chose this as weapons like these in fiction are often used to appear innocent, only to reveal a hidden depth of skill and character; a description which I think applies well to Delusional Roman.
Extra note: Delusional Roman gets snappy, angry, or even threatening when people try to break him out of or correct him on his delusional ways, though he will often try to slip deeper into his fantasies than actually deal with emotional confrontations.
Extra extra note: Roman is incredibly jealous of his brother as he can’t understand why he’s been accepted despite Roman being the one who creates such wonderfully perfect worlds for Thomas to escape off into! He’s also jealous of how his brother doesn’t care what others think of his work and doesn’t seek validation from the others, not that Roman would ever admit that he does either of those things.
Patton:
So the 3 main aspects of Patton I felt would work best for a Dark Side are his destructive selflessness, his overly strong morale compass and how he encompasses many of Thomas’ more negative feelings.
I couldn’t decide whether to officially label him as “Denial” or “Repression”, but either way he holds a similar role: he represses his / Thomas’ negative feelings, as well as tries to push Thomas to do the morally right thing (as he still represents Morality, just not as his main trait) which almost always is the selfless option. It’s almost impossible to convince this Patton that his viewpoint is not necessarily the correct choice (he’s in denial that he as Morality can ever be in the wrong), and he becomes hostile when his views are continuously challenged.
The light sides see Patton as the main holder and cause of Thomas’ negative feelings (eg. makes Thomas act selfless and do things for others until he’s burnt out and depressed), and when Thomas is feeling these negative feelings Patton experiences them but more strongly to the point where the others have to force him out of bed (usually Logan) and take care of him until he and Thomas get out of the depressive slump. However once he’s out he will deny that he was the problem and begin pushing Thomas down the self-destructive path again.
While this Patton will deny his depression and many negative feelings, he is still not as upbeat as Happy-Pappy-Pal-Canon-Patton, matching more with how the side acts in more serious moments such as at the end of SvS redux. He will smile and comfort others, but laughter and puns are rarely seen.
Another thing about this dark side Patton is that he is very manipulative (a trait shifted from Janus to Patton), even if he doesn’t believe himself to be. He uses his role as “morale compass” to invalidate other’s opinions if they clash with his, and often emotionally hurts the sides he gets close to by caring for them and performing selfless acts for them to show his love (eg. makes breakfast for the other Darks sides every morning, goes out of his way to learn more about their interests so that they can have someone to talk to them about) followed by him simplifying complex morale dilemmas in a way that makes it appear that his option is the only correct one, making the others feel bad about their differing viewpoints (a bit like how Roman felt invalidated and morally wrong throughout SvSR as his views didn’t line up with Patton’s).
This Patton wears a worn out pale blue shirt with a fraying black jumper over the top, leaving only the collar of the shirt visible. He has frog features too; with blots of green skin scattered all over his body, slightly webbed hands and he croaks! The splodges grow larger the more emotion Patton represses. He also really doesnt like his frog features as they don’t align with the perfect image of himself that Patton has in his head, so he tries to cover them up as much as possible with his black jumper, pale blue gloves (leather ones as he tried woollen ones and his frog skin made them go sticky) and baggy trousers, although there isn’t much he can do to hide the blots on his face or his brown frog eyes....
(He’s also constantly worn out as frog-pops has no clue what self-care even means)
Extra note: Patton goes through a sort of alternate character development to canon Patton, where as he begins to be accepted by some of the Light Sides and Thomas they discuss how he doesn’t just represent Thomas’ negative feelings, but all of his feelings; a lot of them are just also accidentally repressed alongside the “bad” feelings. As time goes on Patton becomes more cheerful and goofy, even dropping the occasional dad joke, although never quite to the levels of canon Patton.
Extra extra note: The happier this Patton is, the less faded the blues on his clothes become (much like Virgil’s eyeshadow), until at moments of peak happiness his gloves and shirt are canon Patton blue (eg. when Thomas is with Nico, or when Janus and Thomas first accepted him). Cute blue embroidered designs also form on his black jumper at peak happiness, such as butterflies, simple cats, pawprints and frogs.
Logan:
So Logan is the only side I have decided to leave with the same official trait title: Logic, although he also has the orange trait Anger within him. He will also be taking the place of Virgil as the Dark Side who is prematurely accepted.
However Logan here is still different from canon Logan: he represses and denies his emotions even more than canon due to the other dark sides attitudes towards him (Delusional Roman in particular does not appreciate the truth bombs and logical reasoning the calculator watch drops), leading to more angry outbursts / orange showing through. This makes Logan a horribly unstable side, with him appearing completely apathetic to any sort of feeling for an undetermined period of time until he next reaches his limit and has an explosion of rage - he holds both Logic and Anger/Orange in him here, but the anger shows through a lot more due to his circumstances.
His clothes are always shredded and falling apart due to him tearing them when he’s angry + the rage can come out like an explosion that wrecks everything in his surrounding area, including the clothes on him. He sticks to plain black t shirts and trousers to start with as he claims he doesn’t see the point in putting effort into an outfit as he has no desire to please others.
However when Thomas starts making videos Logan can’t help but show up from time to time. He is unsure why as he could not care less what Thomas or the idiotic “Light Sides” think of him, though he figures while he’s there he might as well educate the buffoons so they can reach more informed, educated conclusions to their constant dilemmas.
At first the Lights don’t take his presence well, and more times than one he’d leave towards the end of an episode to explode in the privacy of his room. But surprisingly they eventually start listening to him, considering his inputs, and Logan leaves filming shoots satisfied, even popping into the Light Side’s area occasionally outside of filming days to talk to them.
However Logan notices a pattern as time goes on: the more he’s around the Light Sides, the less he goes Orange. He tests it by spending a week only hanging with the Lights and finds that his anger barely built up at all. Logan quickly reaches the conclusion that his orange trait isn’t actually uncontrollable, it’s how the others treated him that made it so hard to act civil. That is what leads to Logan hating the Dark Sides (much like canon Virgil does) and finally joining the lights.
Soon after being accepted Logan has an outfit change, where he goes from his burnt, tattered rags to his canon outfit, as he finally feels stable and appreciated enough to trust himself in not ruining a nice new Logic outfit. From then on his journey is about accepting that he has feelings and learning that they’re valid.
Extra note: Logan’s worst fear is the idea of going Orange in front of Thomas or the Light Sides - he finally has people who listen to him and if they see his orange side it might scare them off or they’ll lose any respect for him they had. Worst of all they could get hurt…
Extra extra note: Neither Thomas or any of the Light Sides apart from Janus are aware that Logan holds the Orange trait, believing that he only ever was Logic, just more apathetic to start with (and they actually all buy his reasoning of his old outfit being trashed due to him not caring enough about appearances to fix it, to Janus’s dismay but not disbelief - a bunch of himbos, the lot of them!).
Virgil:
Virgil still represents the “Fight or Flight” response in this AU, just without the excess Anxiety. His official title would be “Instinct”, and he would be more confident than canon Virgil. The decrease in anxiety would also make him better at making rational decisions, though he would still freak out and make not-so-great choices in stressful situations.
Rather than a spider, I decided to link this Virgil more strongly with a cat, with heightened senses, lightning reflexes and eyes that reflect light much like a cats. These additions also match with his change of aesthetic from patchwork emo to fantasy vigilante mixed with bright purple punk, plus the addition of purple eyeshadow applied actually correctly. I made this choice as both canon and this Virgil see themselves as a protector of Thomas, yet Virgil is still slightly more morally grey than the other 2 Light Sides (sort of like canon Logan) hence a darker design. Plus is it really Virgil at all if he doesn’t spend his free time listening to MCR?
Virgil also takes the role of canon Roman when it comes to Patton being accepted: he initially falls strongly for Patton’s caring qualities, with the Dark side helping sooth his anxious moments and suggesting that Thomas make other non-selfish options that don’t make Virgil feel as anxious as some of Janus’ options. So for Patton’s first few conflicts Virgil sticks up for him, claiming he’s not all bad. Then he witnesses how Patton’s selfless choices affect Thomas and realises he’s been manipulated; there was no reason to go all the way with Patton’s choice and hurt Thomas, yet Patton had convinced him that it was either his way or the wrong way, no compromises available.
So by the time Patton reveals his name Virgil really dislikes him and makes a snarky remark in which Patton replies with a jab at how he didn’t realise being Thomas’ protector meant that you could be as evil as you wanted with none of the consequences. Virgil’s equivalent line to Roman’s hero one could be something like “Don’t you trust me?” or “I thought I was your best friend?” - then again Roman’s hero line does work with this version of Virgil.
Janus:
This was one of the easiest traits to decide: with a lot of his more manipulative and deceitful traits being distributed between Patton and Roman, Janus is officially titled “Self-Preservation”, and while he doesn’t claim the father role like Patton does, he is still very much seen as a parental figure and guiding light for Thomas and the lights. He tries to be warm and welcoming to the Light sides (part of his role is to take care of Thomas, hence taking care of the parts that make Thomas), and they naturally gather around him as he gives off a safe aura.
However he is not quite as kind to the Darks - he still has the role of managing what truths Thomas can handle, so he controls which sides stay hidden from him. The darks being revealed tends to be down to him slipping up or the side finding a way around his defences more than by him deciding Thomas is ready to meet them, and each time it happens he beats himself up over it and tries to work harder to not let it happen again. The problem he doesn’t realise is that the slip ups tend to happen in the first place due to him overworking himself to make the others / Thomas happy - he doesn’t quite perform the self-care he preaches about.
I’m still not quite sure where I want to go with Janus’ outfit: the initial thought was to put him in a more Patton inspired attire, however this is still Janus, and he is still a theatrical boi. I ended up settling for a mainly cottage-core aesthetic with a flowy long sleeve yellow shirt made out of a light fabric, brown trousers and an overly large sunhat. He also drapes himself in bright patterned shawls and wraps (still predominantly yellow in colour) as while he doesn’t look as snake-like as he canonically does he still has certain snake traits, such as a weakness to the cold and a yellow tint to his left eye.
However snake features do begin to form later on into the AU as Thomas’ views on Lights and Darks alter over time: he begins to realise that despite how it appears Janus is not always in the right, such as how if it hadn’t been for mistakes Thomas would never have met the Darks and learnt to grow as a person - in fact if Self-Preservation got the say in everything he would likely do little growing whatsoever. He and in turn the other Lights begin to find Janus too stifling until SvSR happens where under the stress Janus becomes a true snake boi. The scales and proper snake eye don’t fade afterwards due to Thomas’ subconscious change in perspective, and while it is a big new insecurity at first over time Janus learns to accept these new changes to himself and the Mindscape, and begins adding a touch of darker mystical aesthetic to his look (slightly fantasy fortune teller based) to match his new look better - although cottage-core remains his go to!!
Extra note: In this AU Janus is definitely the side that would most likely be seen going around the Mindscape in a dress (Roman would also wear dresses on occasion but mainly only within his daydreams in the Imagination); he is all about taking care of yourself, and that includes wearing what makes you happy! Though I’m still kind of tempted to put him in a dress full time...
Extra extra note: while Janus is very much the “adult figure” in the Light Mindscape, he still has his goofy moments like in canon - in general he is more relaxed and jokey with the others...though he’s still a sarcastic shet.
(I struggled finding images that matched at all with the ideas in my head, so take these as very vague links to the actual design)
Remus:
Oh boy, Remus is a fun one...
So now that Roman is the twin known by a different title (like how canon Remus is referred to as “Intrusive Thoughts”), Remus now has claim to the Creativity role!! However Remus isn’t going to do a 180 personality wise - he’s still going to be a chaotic gremlin, just with a light side twist.
His design is purposely all over the place: his aesthetic is mainly pirate based with a long sleeve pirate shirt, loose black trousers and heeled black and silver pirate boots, alongside a dark green pirate jacket and slightly brighter bandana. However he has other seemingly random elements thrown in there, such as a white and green hero cape (fuck what Edna says) coming off the back of the coat, and random colourful potions in the green belt under his coat alongside a knight’s sword. This mismatched look is due to the type of imagination Remus provides: while he still represents and creates intrusive thoughts, he also creates adventure stories and life goals/dreams for Thomas, hence takes a form that has mixed elements from Thomas’ self-inserts and protagonists for said stories. While he personally loves his messy design (do you know how much fun can be had with magic potions, swords, tentacles, and a day in the Imagination? Remus sure does), it does cause some arguments between him and Logan over how illogical him and his ideas are (like canon Roman and Logan).
Roman makes this Remus....uncomfortable. Not necessarily because of his ideas (those are just dull and vomit-worthy in his opinion), but because of how he can’t separate dreams and reality - while Remus loves coming up with Imaginative stories for Thomas and setting slightly outlandish goals for the future, he has a level of awareness that Roman lacks in how he knows Thomas won’t ACTUALLY end up being a morally grey pirate travelling the seas to claim back the magical pendant of octopus powers (unless...). He’s also uneasy with how easily Thomas can fall for Roman’s delusions of grandeur and romance, in fact it opens up quite a major insecurity on how despite being the “good” twin his brother seems to succeed more as the creative role, eg. how Thomas will come up with a dream future career path, husband and even car in a matter of seconds yet Remus has to slave and hone in on decent ideas for weeks to reach his own standard.
This leads to another thing about Remus: while he doesn’t care what others think of his ideas (the trait I mentioned earlier that Roman was jealous of) he hold a high standard to himself and gets extremely happy when he perfects an idea. Besides he still wants his ideas to actually be used by Thomas as them being dismissed for not being good enough does hurt (a bit like how Remus got frustrated in the recent episode with how his “good” intrusive creations were being torn apart by Logan’s methods).
Extra note: The fact that Thomas doesn’t like or appreciate some of his darker ideas / intrusive thoughts doesn’t bother Remus too much as he tends to put less effort into them as he knows they won’t be liked - he just can’t help that they pop into his head and he has to get them out - repression is bad after all! However maybe there can be some episode drama about Remus wanting to be less stifled and have Thomas at least consider some of his more mature themes that he thinks would be good to expand upon.
Extra extra note: Just assuring the fact that Remus not caring what the others think about his work does not correlate with him not caring about the others. He loves his fellow Light Sides and Thomas - he’s just confident in his own craft and while appreciates advice and improvements from the others (he and Logan have a field day on creating biologically accurate gore together) he also is aware that HE is Creativity, and he understands his craft better than the others.
Extra extra EXTRA note: Wasn’t really sure how to put it in there but Remus still represents Thomas’ lust. Do with that what you want.
Thomas:
So all these changes to the sides....of course it has it’s effects on character!Thomas! However I’m getting REALLY tired now so this will be done in bullet points:
Not as Disney-centric as canon/real Thomas.
Has less issues with Anxiety, and more issues dealing with Depression
His morals start off a bit more flexible than canon due to always having we-live-in-a-society Janus as his guide
Still has intrusive thoughts, but not as debilitating with the lower levels of anxiety and the much better relationship with Remus.
Still overworks himself trying to help others (nice one Patton!)
Might have a different career due to Roman being more out the frame - maybe goes into writing instead with Remus’ more diverse form of creativity.
Does explore more diverse creative ideas and darker themes, but still out of habit sometimes puts down possibly good ideas as on surface level they appear too morally wrong.
However could possibly be in a non-creative career, and his major longing for a new career path could be what allows Roman through for the first time.
Less dad jokes but still incredibly goofy with both Remus and Janus being more present.
I think I’m going to wrap up there for now! I may make some art for this at some point, but I also want other’s opinions and ideas for this AU.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!
#thomas sanders#sanders sides#sanders sides au#au ideas#roman sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#Janus sanders#remus sanders#ts roman#ss patton#ss logan#virgil sanders sides#sanders sides janus#remus creativity#sanders sides swap#light and dark swaps#swap au#tsss#ss swap au#au#i put way too much time into this#i'm going to bed now and nothing can stop me
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Ok so I wanted to fo this for a while now but ive been thinking of how I word the entire thing. I hope it makes sense and nothing contradicts itsself. Please excuse my bad writing.
⚠️Tw for Abuse/harm/blood⚠️
So here is Victor Bellman his story for my Human Ln Au:
Victor was one of 5 Children in his Family. Born in 1953 he is the youngest from his Siblings and the last child his Parents Veronica and Albert Bellman had. They were very Wealthy, had a big mansion with nannys butlers and more. They also had a big yard with pool that they could play in.
His Siblings consisted of James, Rick, William, Fabian and him. They were always spoiled by Veronica and Albert but Bellman was left out. Basicly the runt of the litter. They spoiled the other 4 but punished Victor for the smallest and dumbest reasons. When he was just 10. It was always ,,we never wanted you" or we dont care about you" or ,,you are a mistake" despite that he still tried to be polite just like he was taught. He got locked in his room. His butlers brought him food and let him out for showers and the bathroom.
In school he didnt have many friends. He was bullied for being ,,wierd" even tho he was just a well dressed, well mannered young man. Other kids also thought he was a ,,teachers pet" a few of the teachers in his school were nice to him and cared for him. When he came to school with scars or a black eye he would always be asked if everything is ok but he would say yes. If he told them they would have hurt him even more. Family members, teachers, neighbours they all knew, but Victors Parents always threatend to hurt him. He went to a diffrent school then his brothers. His grades were alright. He couldnt do any better because all of the abuse got to him or he slipped a bunch of times and got worse grades. At 16 years old he was 7 feet tall in high school. He also got exspelled from his old school because he beat up another student. That guy bullied him and he snapped. Eventho he got into a lot of trouble by that time he was so cold inside from the abuse that he didnt care about it.
He graduated from the other school when he was 19. Victor could have had a job and everything but his parents still locked him in his room and then just forgot about him. They were too focused on his brothers. All of them got a job, even thier own familys later.
Victor was only cared for by mainly Butler Regi who was there since he was little.
Now here is the thing. His parents still locked him in his room. People would ask why he didnt just escape trough a window or sneak out? They were cameras everywhere in the house and in his yard. Plus he didnt dare to try.
The torment continued. Sometimes they would just beat him for fun. That included cutting with knifes, belts, with fists and one time a Machete right in his shoulder. The wound got badly infected since he wasnt even allowed to go to the hospital. After a while he couldnt move that arm anymore. He was covered in blood too. His Parents told everyone that he had died in a horrible accident.
With the age of 20 Victor got locked into his room and was forgotten up until he waa
Victor had to stay in the hospital for a good month. The infection from his shoulder spread more and because so much more. After his release he still has to go to a psychologist. Even tho he doesnt want to. He also got himself a job as a bellhop in a hotel that an agency offered him. He thought it was interesting so he took it.
There he has younger coworkers around him between the ages of 20 and 30. He was a bit fond of them and didnt like them at first. But after a while they got to meet each other a bit closer and became friends with each other.
A year later he met Roger who had to stay at the hotel because his house got burned down. They both didnt like each other at first . But just like his Coworkers he had to know him better. what do you know they became friends and later fell in love with one another.
So he did have a somewhat happy end but still his Past will haunt him for ever. As for his Parents since there was more then enough evidence and so many witnesses they both got a life sentence.
Now I want to end the entire story with a small fact:
The entire time Victor was locked in his room he wrote a diary that he even considered publishing. But he scraped that idea since names were mentioned, alot of very private things were in it and he thought about if it was morally ok to do it. He still hasnt decided.
#human bellman#little nightmares human au#victor bellman#entire backgroundstory for Victor.#i hope it makes sense🤔
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Ok I meant to answer you're question about what I thought of the show ages ago but I forgot.
I LOVED IT OMGGGG! I got so many kitty vibes from Wilhelm and Simon! The touching! The softness! It's those vibes exactly! I want that energy in TWP.
COMRADE SIMON!! We stan! That speech he made at the very beginning about the differences in attitudes towards "tax evasion" vs. "Welfare fraud." Legend behavior.
Sara!!!! My girl!!!!!! An autistic/adhd character PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS!!!! THIS IS SO HUGE!!! I would die for my problematic queen. I made an entire post on her but the gist is, I get where she's coming from and understand why she feels the way she feels but dear God girl make better choices and stay the hell away from August.
Speaking of.... I wanna run August over several times. Vroom vroom motherfucker. The fact that he
- filmed MINORS HAVING SEX AND TGE POSTED IT ONLINE
-kissed Sara behind Felice's back when they were still dating WITHOUT HER CONSENT BTW
- Wanted to blame Simon for the drugs because he knew it would be easy because Simon's family is lower class and doesnt have the same social standing as one of the "members of the society"
- Also it didn't escape my notice that the cult like faternety type group with all the rich, mainly white boys is called The Society. This shows commentary on class is vv interesting. Especially the little things like two girls just randomly advocating for THE DEATH PENALTY. The rich people audacity.
-Anyways back to August, when he tried to excuse his actions with Wilhelm and get all teary like no bitch you can't manipulate your way out of this one. And again with Sara! When he said "Wilhelm has everything" I wanted to scream! Like he's fucking closeted and clearly suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety you moron.
-Anyways!! I also think that Wilhem might be autistic because he just feels autistic. Like the vibes are there.
- The girl group is so sweet? And to have the popular girl be a Black girl who isn't "stereotypically attractive" with a more medium sized body and bad acne. As someone who has really bad skin I needed that. Felice is kinda awesome imo.
Let me see what else??
-Simon and his mom speaking Spanish consistently throughout the show. It sounded pretty natural to me? But I'm not a native speaker. (Or even fluent honestly lol.)
- Simon and Wilhelm are honestly so adorable and in love and it made my heart ache. (I am so touch starved I swear..)
-My only main beef is the outing plotline and the show using an outdated medical term for Sara, aspergers. It's literally just autism. Also it's kind of offensive because Hans Asperger was a n*zi who literally killed autistic children because they weren't useful to capitalism. SOOOO yeah.
As for the outing plotline, I feel like the cishets have like three plotlines that they use for queer stories. Outing/coming out, one of them dies, or one if them bullies the other until they both fall in love. It's tired.
But overall I really loved it.
HI SORRY I HADNT REPLIED
I wanted to correctly talk to you about this series so I logged in through my computer to make it easier for me :D
LOOK AT THIS POINT IVE RELATED THEM TO LITERALLY EVERY COMFORT SHIP I HAVE LIKE. I've compared this to kitty, I've compared this to Thomastair, I've compared this to my friends to ocs who she has obsessed me with (youd actually like them if you liked this tbh) IVE COMPARED ME TO MY OCS
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST LOVE THEM
IF KITTY DOESNT HAVE THIS ENERGY IN TWP WHAT WAS THE POINT
what was the point cc??
S I M O N
OH GOD WHEN HE SAID THAT I WENT OMG YEAH
new favorite character
Great
SHES PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS?? Sorry I hadn't known! Haven't actually gotten to obsessively look at the cast I've been trying to get over the last episode BUT THATS SO COOL. SARA IS AMAZING AND I ADORE HER. I'll read your post after this! But of course STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AUGUST GIRL PLEASE
Tbh I understood where she was coming from with everything with Simons image falling apart and her having to suffer when she had just started having friends , just after finding he had been lying to her. But love, AUGUST?
A U G U S T ???
WHO JUST FOUND OUT OUTED YOUR BROTHER
Also random and stealing this from @marzzinaa i totally hc Sara as a demi girl for some reason
Im kinda sad we didnt see her speak spanish as much we did simon :(
But oh well I LOVE HER AND YEAH STAY AWAY FROM AUGUST GOD
FAE WE RUN HIM OVER TOGETHER BROOM BROOM
You already said it all, I just agree
Ok I'll bring a machete you bring whatever you wish and we kill him sound good?
ALSO YEAH I TOTALLY NOTICED HOW THE ECONOMIC DINAMICS CAME INTO PLAY AND HOW IT BASICALLY LET YOU KNOW HOW THE PRIVILEGED ELITES COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING
meanwhile they wanted to pass off to Simon who came from a lower class family the blame
Also I'd like to mention how that would also play into the stereotype latinos are all drug dealers
Which I love how they didnt make his dead beat alcoholic man the latino parent, when I first read the description I thought they might do that, but im so glad they didnt
I think it might have been a comentary idk i liked that they DIDNT make the poc parent the dead beat
THE FRIEND GROUP WAS SO COOL AND I LOVED ALL OF THEM AND YES FELICE WAS JUST <3
I love how they didnt make her stereotypically perfect AND YES MID SIZED REP WAS AMAZING TO SEE
Also im so glad you got to see that represented!!
So I am a native speaker and him talking to his mom MADE ME CRY
it was WONDERFUL I WANT MORE OF IT
pls most her phrases reminded me to my own mom
Autistic wilhelm you say?? omg tell me more (if you want)
Oh thats awful, well I'll just refer to Sara as autistic and hope the showrunners fix that next season because if they dont-
Yikes
Oh yeah, thats valid critisism. But in my opinion they actually wrote it pretty well so I wont really be complaining about an overall media problem with queer stories rn. If so I'll be here all day. But yeah its an overall problem but it wasnt done bad in my opinion so!
I'll shut up, for now
IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME PLS ITS MY OBSESSION NOW IM GONNA BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT ALL MONTH
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another aspect of klein’s semblance that annoys me is that they were trying to do a cutesy (and lazy lmao) Seven Dwarves allusion but it doesnt really even make sense. The dwarves were mine workers, not house servants. At the VERY least i feel like an actual miner who was exploited by the SDC could have been given that allusion, which also would have provided more perspective from the people being abused in the mines (aside from adam who revealed he was enslaved there and then immediately got murdered). Like, the whole thing was a mess anyway because they could have used that allusion without invoking mental illness at a convention but at least give it to a character who is more suitable. I feel like it would have made more sense for Klein’s allusion to have been the Huntsman from Snow White since he was a servant who betrayed the evil queen by allowing Snow White to escape
i remember when we were told in the show that klein was fired in v7 & there were so many theories that he had been sent down to the mines because of his allusion & then when we finally do see him again in v8 he uh ... just appeared again. his allusion meant jack shit. which wouldn’t be as much of an issue if mkek were just fucking consistent about how much influence allusions are meant to have on these characters !!
i still definitely prefer winter as the huntsman instead of klein though. making him a miner who worked his way up would’ve been way more interesting & having a huntsman allusion for winter could’ve been used in some ways to actually enhance her relationship with weiss & put willow as the actual evil queen.
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DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 73 REVIEW
Alright... let's do this.
The first 4 pages are good. Good flow, not too many pages, no dialogue (thank God). Page 5 is where the paneling gets unnecessary. The last 2 panels aren't needed.
Page 6 is absolutely stupid. Goku & Granolah are flying at extremely high speeds, Goku is firing ki blasts that are moving at a higher velocity than he is currently moving, Granolah moves even faster in order to dodge Goku's ki blasts, then Granolah is using his scarf that is wrapped around a tree to swing around the tree & get behind Goku... A SCARF.
The scarf would tear apart instantly if Granolah tried to use it to catapult/swing himself around faster than Goku can perceive.
YOU: "The scarf is probably really strong tho!"
Sure let's assume that. In that case, the tree would be uprooted from the velocity Granolah is moving. Either way, it doesn't make sense. If this was early Dragon Ball and Yamcha did something like this when fighting Goku, then yeah it would be reasonable and look cool. With the power these characters are at now, it just looks ridiculous and inconvenient. It doesn't work here. Granolah could've easily dodged on his own and much faster that wraping his scarf around the tree.
So Granolah swings around and kicks Goku through tons of trees. (Saiyans killed his ppl but Granolah is killing his planet. Ironic)
Hey look! Another stupid page 😒
Page 7. Goku got sent flying back at a speed capable of easily cutting through tons of trees, but he slows himself down by grabbing a branch & swinging around it? Why? Again, at that speed, Goku would yank the limb of the tree clean off or uproot the entire tree. That wouldn't slow down his speed. He would be better off just stopping in the air on his own as if he applied the emergency breaks. Characters have done that plenty of times. Again, stuff like swinging around trees and tree branches is stuff they would had done in OG Dragon Ball.
Why is Goku blocking like that?? He isn't reinforcing his arm, he's holding his wrist whole his forearm gets punched. That would damage his arm and/or wrist.
*Boom boom! Bam bam!* They hit each other some. But are you ready for this? Pages 11-12...!
Why did Goku yell as if he is transforming? He is using Ultra Instinct, right? You don't yell to power that up. Remember the Moro arc? He calmly breathes to go into the state. Remember the chapter before? He calmly closes his eyes to focus. Why is he yelling then tapping into UI? Because Toyotaro can't write consistently. This page was...! just dumb...
Also... What is this SSB with Ultra Instinct then? You remember the SSB aura around UI Omen in the Moro arc? What's the difference between "Blue plus Ultra Instinct" & "Ultra Instinct plus Blue?"
Granolah says he can read Goku's blood flow and cell movements. That should come in handy later when he could potentially find a weakeness in Goku using UI. Hopefully Goku doesn't tell him he can't stay in the form too long. 🤞
SSB with UI is more focused that lower forms in combination with UI. Goku should be nearly untouchable. Pages 13 - 14 show how well Goku can dodge. Looks like ballet in a way, like Goku us dancing around him. I like that. Then he uses a point blank Kamehameha. Looks cool. But it turns out that Granolah simultaneously hit Goku somehow. Not a complaint here.
Pointless panels of Oil being blown back by the force. Pointless panels of Vegeta not paying attention to the fight and looking around. Pointless 2 panels of smoke clearing away. The entire page doesn't add anything at all. Page 17 could be omitted & it would flow better.
Goku is on the ground for the... 3rd time in this battle? I wish it would at least have Granolah say he didn't realize how difficult UI with SSB would be for him, but he barely saw an opening. That would be some sort of respect for Goku and did some clever foreshadowing. But we get Granolah insulting Goku instead. Whatever.
This "vital points" nonsense is so stupid. Everyone in DB has nearly identical vital points. Majin Vegeta knocked Trunks out by chopping at his vital point. These characters know what vital points are and know them well as we have seen when they were in combat since early DB. Granolah should be saying "My right eye will always find an opening." But maybe its a translation error or something. I won't be too harsh about this one.
Wait wait wait. Lemme get this straight...
Whis trained Goku, then Goku is able to use UI in the ToP.
Merus trains Goku to use UI Omen at will.
Goku later masters UI with silver hair.
Whis points out new flaws that didn't exist then trains Goku even further.
Goku has been trained by 2 Angels to the point of being able to go into Mastered UI at will and recieved further training after mastering the Angelic power. How is it that Goku has the gull to say "No, Ultra Instinct should have no weaknesses. If anything's lacking, it's gotta be my training."
And he's telling Granolah that he is vulnerable for some reason...? He's just foreshadowing for the reader that he will lose. The last 4 or 5 panels of page 19 isn't needed.
Whatever. Let's move on. So on page 20, for some reason, Goku has a confused look & a question mark in his speech bubble after Granolah blames Saiyans for killing his ppl. Maybe Goku doesn't understamd why Granolah is repeating himself for the 3rd or 4th time? Or he wasn't listening the earlier times. Can't blame him. Granolah's speeches bored me too.
Granolah copies Moro & makes lava rise from the core of his beloved home planet in order ro hurt Goku. Poor Sugarians. I wonder if there will be a "You're becoming the bad guy now, Granolah." type of story. Dont really care though. Goku escapes by teleporting. He mentions how Granolah has Moro's move. I guess Granolah is supposed to be like Cell and have others techniques... like Moro before him... They are both altered copies of Cell who is much cooler than both of them combined...
Well, here they are making Vegeta look capable (somehow?). Also its interesting that the bloodthirsty Granolah is allowing Goku & Vegeta to chat about their discovery of who his ppl are. The the ex-detective Vegeta quickly figures out that Maki & Oil fooled them. That was rushed. "But Vegeta was suspicious of them before." Yes, but there was no reason or anything we heard that would make Vegeta suspicious. The writing is bad. Also it's convenient that Oil has a drone all of the sudden to eavesdrop. The last 4 panels of page 24 are pointless.
GOKU: "Hey let's talk to him and clear things up."
VEGETA: "Nah. He's probably too stubborn. Just fight to move the story along instead."
Goku says he hasn't used his full power yet & Vegeta is surprised. How does Vegeta not realize Goku hasn't used his full power, Mastred UI? Then Vegeta says "Tch... Gotta resort to that in the end, huh?" Toyotaro is having Vegeta downplay UI in order to hype up Vegeta's fight next chapter. Bad writing. There's better ways to hype Vegeta up. Toyo chose one of the worst ways to do so.
Granolah... Just standing and waiting for Goku to come back. What a patient revenge fueled man.
UI Goku through the fog looked cool. (And his wounds heal? Ok...) But, seeing that made me realize something else. It would be much cooler if it went from page 22 then skip to page 26!
We don't need Goku & Vegeta chatting. The reveal of UI would not have had a pace breaker. It just happens & you see that Goku is serious now. Show don't tell.
GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any vital points?!"
That sounds stupid, so I do think it is a translation error.
GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any openings?!"
Now that reads much better! (I also edited the dialogue to "openings" in the pic above.)
Great... Goku conveniently exposed a weakness in UI that Whis had conveniently made up in CH 71. Although, in CH 59 Whis said that Mastered UI doesnt have the stamina issue that UI Omen has. Then in CH 64 it shows that the stamina issue is gone with Mastered UI during the 3 chapter battle with Moro. Goku never looked fatigued or weak in this form. Only time the form went away is when "planet" Moro drained Goku of his energy.
But now Goku & Whis say otherwise. How suddenly contradictory. Page 26 of this current chapter (CH 73) would be better if the last 2 panels were omitted.
Mastsred UI Goku easily takes down Moro- I mean Granolah. Also Goku tries to chat now after attacking Granolah. Should've said something before you start kicking ppl in the face. But this is shown to prove Vegeta is right about not being able to reason with Granolah. Even if it makes no sense.
Cool dodging & aikido type movement from Goku.
Goku using "the force" & stopping Granolah's movements was cool. Reminded me of Goku doing something similar to Broly in the DBS movie. Or more similarly, like Zamasu did in the manga.
I guess Toyotaro is suggesting that the quick flurry of punches is a Master UI kind of move. (Although it originated in the anime when UI Omen Goku was punching back against Jiren & when he did so to block attacks from Jiren in EP 129.) I hope this move isn't over used that it ends up losing its flare.
Vegeta pretends to be upset that Goku defeated Granolah while in the previous chapter, Vegeta told Goku to fight first.
Somehow Vegeta is able to sense that there are 2 Granolahs. You can say because he has spirit control, but Goku has been through that kind of training with Roshi, Kami, & King Kai (possibly some with the Yardrats too which helped him control Super Saiyan at the level he could). And with Instant Transmission, Goku must be an expert in detecting ki. He can feel ki in different realms and locate ppl from far across the galaxy Goku should sense this too. All this writing is doing is trying to make Vegeta appear as the more capable fighter & get Vegeta fans hype for his next battle. That's all.
The switcheroo (I think I used that wrong) of a fake Granolah was a kinda clever idea. But Goku not knowing what "split" means is asinine.
Goku literally says "Split...? What's that mean?"
Goku has seen firsthand when Tien split into multiple Tiens, Goku knows the Yardrats can split themselves into many ppl, he saw merged Zamasu split himself, & he saw Moro split himself. Why is he written so stupid? I need answers Toyo.
Page 40....
HOW IN THE HECK did Mastered UI get caught off guard?! Ain't it supposed to automatically grow sturdier as necessary?! Boy oh boy, this writing... A positive is that the punch looks like the 1 inch punch Goku did to Golden Freeza (inspired by the legendary Bruce Lee).
So if actual Granolah is twice as strong and can one shots UI Goku... Vegeta doesn't stand a chance. But the bad writing will make a way for Vegeta to look somewhat capable.
Granolah says UI becomes less sharp over time. Only problem is that Goku fought longer against Moro. This fight of UI Goku should have been longer. If the fight was longer when in the UI "transformation" then I would be more generous about Granolah finding an opening. Speaking of openings, Granolah says "opening" instead of "vital point." Must be a translation error.
Goku is in a near death-like state and Vegeta is like
VEGETA: "Leave that fool alone. Fight me instead."
Vegeta threatening Granolah is either stupid or smart. Smart = Vegeta provoking Granolah to get an advantage mentally. Dumb = Vegeta reverting to his Cell saga overconfidence that Toyo always does.
IN CONCLUSION:
STILL NO IMAGE OF FREEZA... I guess he isnt that important to the story after all. And this storytelling is so bad because Toyo can't stay consistent at all, he doesn't understand the characters, & he can't come up with anything besides "this form also drains stamina." You can say he & Toriyama write this together but I doubt it. Toriyama corrects his art & just gives the story a pass.
Recently it seems that Toriyama is more interested in the DBS movies being produced. Toriyama just writes an outline, Toyotaro & Toei write their versions of the story around that, Toriyama corrects Toyotaro's art & Toriyama also corrects or adds to what Toei thinks up. Example being when Toei created Kale & Toriyama created Caulifla in response.
I'm not excited for the next chapter. I don't care what Vegeta does. How is Vegeta going to win against someone who one shotted Goku in UI. Either the writing will be kinda smart or just plain stupid. I'm expecting stupid.
Idk if I'll review the next chapters. The bad writing was too much for me. I wrote this review last month right 1 day after the chapter came out, but I didnt want to read the manga again to get the images I need for this review. So I put it off for almost 1 month.
I wanna take a break from this bad manga...
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Hey, congrats again on ya boy Lugosi becoming a character in SinDec!! I for one am really excited to see him start popping up in future SinDec fanart. I hope this isn't too big a request, but can you talk about him and what he's like here?👀 *I* know all kinds of things about him, but most people don't! He'll be portrayed by others better the better he's known, and plus it'll be handy to me to know more of what's different between him in the game VS him in the vampire AU. And don't worry about rambling or making the post too long!! Feel free to go ham with the little guy!!
It's not too big a request!! I love lore posts. I've had many thoughts on the Little Guy, but I've never posted because I guess talking about special inch rests is Cring now.
So, Lugosi.
It's not explicitly stated in canon, but I'm pretty sure he originated Somewhere in the industry. @disparu-gaming has stated that one of the expiraments that the G-team were conducting involved trying to see if the corruption could be contained in a pure vessel. Apparently they have a piece or fragment of Abram as well, so I headcannon that Lugosi was one of the unfortunate vessels they were testing on, and was implanted with this fragment. I can't decide whether or not he became a test subject willingly or not, but he was definitely the kind of person who would do something like that for the greater good, so I'm leaning towards the former.
Well, as it turns out, having a concentrated ball of corruption shoved inside of you has some averse effects on the psyche! Lugosi has a link with Abram, and I'm not entirely sure how strong or clear it is (never stated in canon), but if I had to write it I would probably say it extends to limited conversation and visits during dreams. However, Abram never canonically mentions Lugosi whatsoever, so I'm not for certain on that. Lugosi would probably begin experience things like emotions that don't belong to him, memories that aren't his, unexplained anger and irritability, spontaneous vomiting and other forms of his body trying to expel the corruption (similar to radiation poisoning), and severe paranoia and delusions. Plenty of things that get corrupted are given forbidden knowledge and seem to know of Abram. Viruses have a way sometimes of warping the minds of their hosts, so I like to think that sometimes those who are too lost in the Abram sauce are interested in furthering his self propagation, just like real viruses. So Lugosi experiences the god equivalent of radiation poisoning (minus losing his fantastic hair) and begins feeling this all consuming, overwhelming desire to help this guy he keeps hallucinating and feeling the emotions of. Like many other corrupted monsters, he probably has some kind of powers, so we'll just use that to explain how he escaped.
Lugosi is a very lonely character. I know he would be very young at the proposed time of experimentation/corruption, so he wouldn't have much of a background or friend group pre-Abram. Basically all he has is his faith in Abram, who may or may not even realize that Lugosi exists, or worse, may know but not care. He's in constant pain, as his body is literally being eaten from the inside out, and is perpetually under the strain of having some kind of mental link with a god who's mind is literally diseased. He has consistent delusions and hallucinations (mostly of Abram being near him, talking to him, and telling him things) and has been known to cease his preaching to occasionally stare off into the nothingness for a little while. Yet, he is a very willful person. Lugosi, obviously has a great tolerance to pain, but in addition to being resilient against his own body's woes, he also endures not having a home, and speaking almost 24/7. I think he would take very few breaks, and would only leave the podium to try and scavenge for food or write down his next sermons subject. He would sleep when he collapsed from exhaustion. Honestly I think the only reason Lugosi hadn't been taken away from his spot in the city is because his presence was too much for normal, fretful elsen to try to remove. Also, he has a knife and knows how to use it. So aside from his sermons and his faith, he doesn't have much. Even if Abram could and did speak to him, he wouldn't be able to talk much, being so busy. You can see how desperate he is for any kind of stable, genuine relationship in how he latches on to the Batter almost immediately.
But dispite his unfortunate existence, Lugosi is a highly empathetic and compassionate individual. If he was somehow removed of his ailments and given a sound mind again, he would still choose Abram, because he would genuinely think Ab was horrifically wronged and would want him to recieve justice. He sneaks the player healing tickets (he actually does this in game) because he doesn't want to offend his supposed savior, but still worries about his health regardless of his faith. He realizes that the Batter is uncomfortable talking about the entertainment district after he's all but traumatized by Jadon. Lugosi can be very kind, he just doesnt often get the chance to show it because of his frantic, end of the world mentality.
I think that his Red end, as fucked up as it is that fully comprehending the rage of his most beloved literally shatters his skull and drives him to massacre, is a good ending for him. Lugosi would want to go out with a bang, after feeling basically useless his whole life. He got to die giving his whole world proof of his devotion, even as fucked up as it is that he expressed that love by committing mass murder (haha, pun). He willed himself to survive being corrupted, he willed himself to live through his torturous, abram dominated existence, he willed himself to understand his God, and completed his life's work, destroying the church after assisting in Abram's victory.
His Blue end? Haha, not so much.
But yeah. There's my boy in a nutshell. Thanks so much for the ask! I enjoyed ranting about him.
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Physical Features OC Ask Game !! 👁 What is your OC’s eye color? Do they have any eye-related habits, like winking or rubbing their eyes? Do other people tend to notice their eyes? 💇 What is your OC’s hairstyle? How do they maintain their hair? Do they wash it and/or cut it regularly? Have they ever dyed their hair? 👖 What type of clothing does your OC generally wear? Why? Do they have any “signature” accessories?
since its the only ask i have so far, im gonna answer each of these for all three of my current ocs :D hope thats okay!
cedric: fallout 4 || alistair: fallout 4 || emil: fallout new vegas
eyes—
-cedric: blue-green eyes! however he actually only has one, in a sense, because a bomb once blew up close enough to his face that it burned the skin, and damaged his left eye enough that he went blind in it. he tried to take care of the injury, but the commonwealth doesnt exactly have many medicine or skincare products. it ended up getting a pretty gnarly infection, which only made it worse after scarring. so now, he wears an eyepatch over it! he regularly wears a gas mask out in the wasteland, mostly for radiation protection but partially because he is somewhat insecure about his eye, and the look of the skin around it. when he isnt wearing one though, people do definitely notice his eyes for that reason, more than anything else. he doesnt have any particular habits, other than consistently wearing an eye covering.
-alistair: his eyes arent anything particularly special, really. just a plain dark brown, dark enough to look black from a distance. he doesnt have any specific habits, per se, as he is a synth and thats not necessarily in his program. however, if hes close enough with someone, he will make a fair amount of (bad) jokes or comments and accentuate them with a wink or an eyebrow raise. also, when hes frustrated he sometimes will rub his eyes with his palms, or do long drawn out blinks and eyerolls. his eyes arent all that notable though, so people dont take much notice of them often, outside of their expressiveness.
-emil: a sort of grey, green, hazel, blue, combination? really, they dont seem to have much of a set eye-color. its hard to determine. so on the occasion that someone asks, theyll give a different answer every time, sometimes answering with a color that is definitely not even close to the actual color. furthermore, theyre quite the mischievous and flirtatious type in some cases, so winking is something they do quite often, and are able to do with either eye. other times, theyll look someone up and down when facing them, but with an absent expression that makes it hard to tell whether theyre checking the person out or sizing them up. their eyes dont get noticed often because again, they arent anything particularly special, but when in a relationship, they do find that partners seem to take a particular interest toward the confusing matter of their eyes, specifically the color.
——
hair—
c: pre-war, he kept his hair relatively well-managed, a tidy crop with maybe a bit more length than the "average" mens cut. post-war, however, he frankly sees getting his hair done as too much effort, only occasionally stopping for a trim and otherwise letting it grow out, and tying it up if it gets in the way. his boyfriends quite fancy this, liking to play with it when they spend time together. maccready, on occasion, will even braid it if hes stressed or in a bad mood, as a way of calming himself down. (when he does this, cedric tries to keep the braid in as long as possible.) washing hair isnt necessarily easy, in a world where even just clean water itself is in short supply, let alone soap. however, he does try his best to clean it when he can, because he doesnt like the feeling of dirty hair. he also has never dyed his hair, because hes always been content with his natural brown color, even if its a bit "plain."
a: he keeps his hair close to a stubble, consistently. his hair doesnt grow very rapidly, but still, he will likely be seen getting his hair cut every couple weeks to keep it from growing out. he likes looking put together, and will rarely ever be caught genuinely dirty. any chance he gets to clean himself, he will, and any time he needs a haircut, you can bet he'll be on his way to the nearest place that offers it. he refuses to dye his hair, saying that it creates a look of unprofessionalism, (and hair dye doesnt go well over black usually.) nobody really understands why hes so insistent on looking put-together and professional all the time, but they accept it, even if he sometimes takes more time to get ready in the mornings than anyone else.
e: shaved on one side, long on the other. its also naturally got a bit of curl, which adds volume so it doesnt get too flat and stringy when it goes unwashed. they dont wash their hair as obsessively as alistair, though they will do a quick clean if they get the time. they dont particularly like the idea of using irradiated water to clean off, but its that or use purified water which is in relatively short supply. however, foraging is a bit of a strong point for them, so they will use natural supplies for cleaning off if possible, from plants and such. keeping hair maintained is hard in a relatively desolate area like the mojave, but whenever they find scissors and some free time theyll do a trim. scissors arent exactly a match for a nice set of clippers, but you learn to make do. they have dyed their hair with some temporary colors before, but never anything permanent—they actually quite like their natural gingery-blond color.
——
clothes—
c: whatever will protect him while also being comfortable enough that he can tolerate him with his sensory issues. however, in situations where he needs to looks somewhat "official," he will wear his minutemen-issued jacket over a decent shirt and pants set. however, he will rarely ever be seen without some sort of mask, unless the situation happens to be one where a gasmask or something similar would be improper. even then, the eyepatch stays on. so id say the eyepatch is somewhat a "staple" of his wardrobe, though its less of a fashion choice and more of what he deems a necessity.
a: if possible, he would regularly wear a button-down and pants that match. however, in an irradiated post-war wasteland, with hostiles around every corner, thats not a particularly feasible option; thus, he wears whatever is available that is in good condition but also effective. effectiveness is his priority, of course, but it does frustrate him if his clothing doesnt at least look decent. people see him as a bit of a pansy for it, but when he was in the institute, he was used to wearing a uniform that was focused on looking clean rather than being highly functional. so after escaping, that stuck with him a bit. he does, however, have an accessory he refuses to be without, and thats his and noras wedding ring. even after forming new relationships and finding a new purpose in the world, its impossible to move on from someone who was his whole world, what feels like only a few months ago.
e: emil most definitely prioritizes function over fashion. appearance is important, sure, but they recognize that it definitely is not the most important, when youre traveling across a hot desert full of giant scorpions and gang members. however, one thing that they always have, whether theyre wearing it or just has it in their pack, is this one puffy jacket, with a fur-lined hood. they found it in the dresser of a destroyed house they were scavenging through, and it somehow was in near-mint condition. the reason it was so special to them, though, is because it had a note in the pocket, from a girl to her older sibling. the girl being emils sister, who moved away with their father after their parents got divorced. the letter was addressed from her to them, but was never sent. and sure, while they knew that this almost definitely confirmed she had died, they were just happy enough having something from her. so they never go without the jacket, even though its warm (and a bit heavy.) impractical, but sentimental.
#can you tell cedric is a self insert#i think its obvious#oops#anyway!#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#fallout new vegas#fallout nv#fnv#oc ask#fallout oc#also note i did not proofread this so there mayyyy be typose#typos** im not rewriting taht
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