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astralartefact · 1 year ago

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Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Entry 004 - Unicorn Overlord <<Prev: NieR Reincarnation

Synopsis

The drums of war are beating. No man can be trusted. What happened to Dorcas? (say it with me) I put poison in his mutton!

Once again I have been falsely advertised to and I will not forgive. (the names used are different since I played in german)

How much did I know before playing?

I played 13 Sentinels for what that's worth and I did play the demo extensively. I played it a month late but went out of my way not to get spoiled.

Also I play Fire Emblem sometimes? the game certainly feels inspired by that

Did I like it more than I expected?

I liked it about as much as I expected to like it, maybe even a little bit more!

Except for one thing, which I had only expected because several "news sites" have reported on it being in there - even providing lists! - only to find out it wasn't in it and that thing is...

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

So all that stuff about Male Romance for Alain was a fucking lie. Tell yourself whatever you want but I have higher standards than that - what's shown there is pretty explicitely not Romance, with Male Characters the Ring of the Maiden scenes are very much framed as Friendship Bracelet scenes.

And maybe I'm a little bit more heated at this than I should be, but as is tradition I had once again the patented Vanillaware pleasure of learning this by Surprise Mandated Romance as suddenly after several scenes of sweet and cute moments between him and Alain the guy I chose (gilbert) suddenly - without warning because I did not give a singular damn about Virginia (is that even her name) - announced his wedding to her in between two credit screens.

Like, I was fully okay with not a single blush moment, at this point I still thought this was their take at Male on Male-Romance and I was perfectly happy with what I got, mainly because it's just sadly common for japanese media to cut any intimacy from mlm relationships as soon as they're textually confirmed - but I also had no frame of reference for the other characters, so for all I knew the female ones were just also like that. I sincerely believed that when Alain told him that despite all those political reasons he also just really treasures Gilbert that that was supposed to be read as Romantic even if it was very toned down.

But welp. Vanillaware Surprise Mandated Romance strikes again. This is Sekigahara Ei all over again.

Spurted by this I then did my own research. I tried it with about 10 other guys after the ending - and I even inspected their epilogue overworld dialogue each time!!! - and all of them were very clearly just as non-romantic as Gilbert's, even Lex and Clive who I remembered front and center on those Romance Option lists. The best I got was Adel's epliogue dialogue (which is very cute ngl) and maybe Lex's as well, even though that one was just pretty much verbatim a "Hey, we have a good thing going here...", the vagueness of which doesn't really offset the "Yeah, but No Homo, right??" I had to sit through when giving him the ring right before.

Meanwhile I tried 2 (two) female options to see if it's the same for both genders and while one (Tatianna) was lightly implied to be romantic in the epllogue but mostly the same to the male ones the other one (Primm) was explicitly and overtly romantic. (which is also clearly indicated by blushing and i'm pretty sure only Adel ever blushed in one of the male ones)

It's just. Why? Why even include this if you don't go the whole way. You knew you couldn't or shouldn't just make it female only - but then why do it like this? Why is the Ring of the Maiden so clearly treated as a wedding ring with Girls and then "No Homo Bro, it's just a friendship bracelet with a weird name" with the Boys (and of course you need to make sure that people get how gay uncommon it is to give your friend a ring by pointing it out almost every time). Either you make it all Friendship Bracelets, all Wedding Rings or you make both equally mixed - which would have been more than fine with me too! - but not something stupid like this. and no i don't care if alain is 'supposed to be straight' alain isn't a real person and he's clearly supposed to be self-insertable, but I guess only for straight men

After Takatoshi in 13 Sentinels and now this I'm having some kind of feeling about how Vanillawear includes this stuff. Like it's nice that you're trying to think of these things, but... if this was a genuine attempt on your part then why did you think this was good?

I guess the reason I'm so upset is that the way the Ring is integrated into the story is so fucking cool?? And Gilbert was such a good choice for me to pick too because he fit right into the scene?? I legit didn't realize at first he was just there because of the Ring? And then after all that uwu sincerity I'm No Homo-ed in the credits by a surprise wedding because I guess I missed the moments where they mentioned their relationship... if they did at all (staring into space remembering 13sen, shaking my head at Ei x Iori being written the way it was)

Thank God that's the only thing I really hated about this game, but for another nitpick: I guess the Unit Promotions could have been flashier if they already aren't branching? i guess it's to save work because of the Animation Style but imo Fire Emblem does those better. With some of the promotions here you can't even really see any difference...

What did this game make me think about?

Nothing really in particular but I loved how relatively fresh the writing felt despite not being all that 'out there.' Like, on paper it's a relatively 'basic' story, I wouldn't call it groundbreaking or anything, but the way it is delivered and presented felt fresh, yeah, I think that's the best word to describe it.

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

The Ending Ring Scenes even if they were ruined for me a little bit afterwards q_q I didn't repeat those with other ring partners so maybe I should try it again with Adel and see if they're still as good

I love a game that lets me Sequence Break and I love that this game supports it so much that even the story still makes perfect sense if you do the segments out of the 'intended' order. You better believe I weaseled my way into Bastoria when I saw that there was only a high level fight stopping me from not going to the other regions first.

And whoever decided to let the Character Creator Mirror work on every single character deserves a fucking raise. I made them all look so pretty. Whoever you are, you're a visionary!!!

Outstanding Audio

I loved the Music in Elheim and the Night Music in Albion is really eerie it gave it such a good vibe. Also Drakenheim's final stage music.

Favorite Character

There were a lot of good ones... I loved Sanatio and Nigel. Also Yunifi and the Lion whose name I forgot.

Favorite Arc/Story Line

Albion and Bastoria

In general I loved how individually important the major Story Lines were! Every story line felt equally as valuable and impactful to the overall story, but all in their own unique way!

Favorite Set Piece

Elheim's Final Battle was really cool...! I really loved Elheim's Aesthetic as a whole, especially what we saw of the undercity...

I don't know what exactly I skipped doing it, but in Elheim's Final Stage if you take over the other exits before fighting the Boss, she bumps into your stationed unit while fleeing and I guess you skip a second battle? That's the Presence that Immersion and Suspension of Disbelief people should be talking about!!!

Favorite Scene

Again, the Ring Scenes in the True Ending really hit the spot... if you choose the right person that doesn't immediately break your trust q_q (gilbert found dead for breaking the pact)

Best Performance (I played with JP voices)

I love Sanatio's VA (Mutsumi Tamura) and as the entire reason why I like Sanatio (I was pretty sure that's just Okino again and I was right) I guess I'm obligated to mention her. apparently he's voiced by damien haas in english and i can't and won't even picture that lol (i looked it up and ouch what) (and that's not shade to the VA, that's casting shade, who thought this was a good fit)

Also Shout Out to Raenlys for using Yumi Hara's Mama Voice <3

German Localization Notes

Listen, I would love nothing more than to join in bitching about Unicorn Overlord's Localization because I, personally speaking, absolutely hate the verbose olden speech writing style FFXIV has made popular (and yes I'm specifically accussing them of being the source of that), not because it's wrong or because they aren't allowed to add in their own quirks, but simply because it sounds horrible, makes every character feel 13 existential planes removed and I just can't stand hearing it (my immersion!11)

But I played the game in german with JP VA and the german localization was pretty good :) It fit the tone perfectly without being as weirdly verbose as I saw the english version being. Also i think Gilbert used the word Hundesohn at one point and I gasped. There were some sentences that were translated in a weirdly literal way and a few spelling errors here and there that nobody caught, but it's a game with a lot of text so I'll forgive them that :)

The one thing I do not forgive is that they renamed DRAKENGARD. I HEARD THEM SAY IT SO OFTEN AND IT WAS LITERALLY CALLED THAT ON THE MAP Q_Q AND THE FIRST SETTLEMENT IS EVEN CALLED MIER!!!! it cant be a coincidence

Tangent, but I always remember one time I watched a stream of someone (NerineS00 but I think that was way back in the before times) and somebody asked her in the usual 'who would ever do that???' tone americans like to use in situations like that why she wasn't playing the game with english voices instead of japanese and she answered that english wasn't her first language so why should she, they're both equally foreign languages to her - and for some reason that really stuck with me? And somewhere along the line that thought turned into, yeah, why should I play a game in english if I can just play it in german? And the German Localization is hard work too - and yet nobody is ever standing up for them, the opposite actually, since it's much more apparent what's different from EN (much more DE people speak EN than JP) more people complain about things that actually don't really matter all that much out of some weird form of self hate.

Another place where that happened recently is Dungeon Meshi where the german voice acting (please. look up the german marcille meme thing) is like genuinely amazing - sure, it's probably not perfect by whatever metric people suddenly really care about but it's far removed from the "cheap german anime va" a lot of people still think "all german va" sounds like - and for some reason the rise in quality EN went through in the past years gives a lot of DE people this weird sense of bully pride to be "see, i'm cool bc i like good stuff and hate bad stuff!"

But whatever, clearly those people haven't thought that much about what they're doing - this is just me standing up for all the good German Localizations out there! A lot of you are doing a great job and I appreciate what you guys are doing :D

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

This game feels really well thought through and I hope Vanillaware manages to keep this momentum they have going. Because at its heart I feel like this game is relatively simple, it doesn't always need big complicated systems if you can just do something well thought through instead.

Also it feels much more like the good sort of inspiration where they took from games like Fire Emblem and Tactics Ogre while combining it with the Battle System from their own 13 Sentinels (at least that was what it felt like) - which feels like much more respectful and in the spirit of things than say Hoyoverse just taking whatever game is currently most popular and turning it into a Gacha Game to make boatloads of money.

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

So uh, Video Games Journalism, huh. Oh boy, I complain about the thing everybody is already complaining about anyways!

I guess I finally got a first hand account of how I was personally slighted by this infamous boogieman. I was told that this game had male romance because somebody didn't do their research and wrote that the Ring mechanic = Romance and even to this day, about 2-3 months after release, there are several "games journalism" websites (can you even call them that? but it's people writing articles, so... i guess?) still up spreading that knowledge.

And I guess we all know how that happened (Capitalism), but it's just...

Okay, to be honest, I felt so Journalistic doing my own research, testing out both male and female romance options (even though 2 female options clearly isn't nearly enough to get a general overview lol), I felt so thorough for even checking the Epilogue Snippets - as baby's first sleuthing as I realize it is, it made me kind of sad that that's not what Games Journalism is (of course on a larger scale), you know playing games, making observations, researching noticeable topics, criticism with a bigger personal stake than 'Is the big game everybody is talking about worth your money' - no, for all intents and purposes it's just... (Regurgitating) Game Announcements, Reviews and I guess Exposés on Working Conditions because yay capitalism

And those Reviews are their own whole point of discussion, aren't they. I distinctly remember when Cyberpunk came out that there was one female writer (going to be relevant) who dared to rate it a 7 or 8 (which at the time a few days before release was below average compared to the other review sites who mostly gave it 9-10) - and she clearly explained why, stating why she thought the game didn't go as far as she would have liked it to go - and Capital-G Gamers couldn't let that stand, calling her any sort of name (keep in mind the reviewer was a women, what does she even know about video games???), once again complaining that Video Game Criticism is a Joke because how dare this woman rate this game so low for attention. (which, as we all know by now, is very ironic given how those same people immediately turned on the game once they noticed they could use it as a punching bag instead, funny how that works)

The reason I remember that is that I read that review before seeing those comments and thought: Huh. That's actually a really helpful review because I totally get what she's talking about, clearly she has played games like this before - now I know better what to expect when getting into this game.

And I guess I never truly cared about Games Journalism as a topic of discussion because - well, to be real - I just don't really care about the "State of the Industry" all that much lol sry BUT ALSO looking at what they're mostly criticized for, no matter what they do they'll never be able to do it "right" even if they try their best. And wouldn't you know it I think it's actually the Gamers who are to blame.

I think a lot of people have a weird relationship to this ecosystem we find ourselves in. I think, and this is a wild pull, a lot of problems we have with Video Game Journalism is that even Gamers don't actually consider Video Games Art, even though they are, right, i thought we all agreed after all we need to tell ourselves non-gamers that so we don't think of what we're doing as wasting our time they take our hobby seriously

But if video games are Art (and my point is that I sincerely think they are) then they can't be wrong (and they also can't be right either) (i don't feel like explaining that in detail rn but trust me bro) and a lot of Gaming Culture is centered primarily around the fact that Video Games can certainly be made wrong and shouldn't. And the resulting antagonism Gamers have developed towards "flaws" and their entitlement to unrestricted ""criticism"" because, well, it's in their right as they have paid money for a product and therefore it's their right that the product they bought should be flawless! But since you will never find anything without problems this situation is an unsolvable ouroboros that swallows the horizon.

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

So, uh, Vanillaware, what's going on with your Sexual Dimorphism? I can't help but notice that all of the female units are pretty uniformly waifu material while the male units 'are allowed' to display a much more pronounced bodily diversity that isn't centered around being pleasing to look at? (Most egregious example are imo the Hammer Units lol)

Doesn't help that your armor design is also... uhh... sparse at times. Whatever you think the Fox Warrior's... panty metal is doing - it's not doing that. It honestly would have been better from a visual stand point if she just didn't wear anything down there.

I also grew frustrated that so many male generic units have their faces hidden - meanwhile pretty much none of the female units wear helmets... Curious. It's once again as if a video game developer couldn't fathom that anyone might want to look at men in the same way men look at women. Wonder why that might be.

Actually, not to get back to that mess but that's also part of my Gilbert problem - I only even chose Gilbert in the first place because there are barely any 'hot and dateable' male characters like Clive or Gilbert compared to the female side of things where... it's pretty much every single one. Huh.

#atarasemediadiary #unicorn overlord

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years ago

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happy getting hitched day! 1.9k, (sort of) ft. this

Most days of the year, Sam's the optimist.

It doesn't usually fall on Dean to keep the spirits up in times of war anymore. Or worse, loss. And Dean, well, he thinks himself as enough of an in-the-moment kinda guy to not wallow when everything's not going to shit, right friggin' then.

Sam, on the other hand?

Beacon of light when there's a little Hell to raise, harbinger of hope when there's a God to defeat.

And losing his shit entirely when there's an aisle to walk down, leading to the girl of his dreams and the best decision of his life.

"Dean."

Dean fusses around Sam in compact little semicircles fixing his already perfect tux, while his brother panics in a way Dean only remembers from before the kid stopped having to look up at Dean.

But he's looking down at Dean now, wide-eyed and sweaty like the very first time Dean saw him off on a date when he was fourteen — with supple, bullshit eighteen-year-old advice, he bets — and thirty eight year old Sammy is, clear as day, losing his shit.

"Yeah?" Dean channels all the calm he's got into it.

"What if I forget my vows?"

"Well," Dean lifts his eyebrows, and picks up a linen thread from Sam's shoulder that caught his eye. "First of all, would kinda serve you right for writing six pages worth of them."

"Stop being a —"

"Front and back, Sammy. Front and back."

"Dean." Sam glares, more indignant than mad. Dean rolls his eyes, and Sam continues, replacing the look immediately with a troubled one that reflects the dilemma in his voice. "I mean, I've learned them, of course. At least I think I have — I practised twice last night, once this morning — but what's to stop me from fumbling, or forgetting —"

"Your gigantic nerd brain?"

"This is serious." Sam frowns, levelling another look at Dean like he's the one with the stellar proverbial cold feet. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean throws back immediately, and pauses in his shuffling around for effect. "Also, no. No, it isn't." And Sam goes to argue with a bitchface already surfacing, but Dean keeps going, sterner, more confident. This is something he's been doing all his life. He can probably talk the kid down from a panic high like this in his sleep. "And you're going to stop being a dumbass, and listen to what I'm saying."

"'M not a dumbass." Sam mutters.

"Yeah, you are." Dean shrugs, completely nonchalant, and Sam laughs in spite of himself, nervous, but a welcome improvement as he waits for Dean to proceed. (Big brother voice never lets Dean down.)

He's still got it.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get out there," Dean continues, smiling now. "You're going to hold Eileen's hand while the minister marries you. And approximately ten to fifty minutes later, when he asks you to, you're going to look into her eyes, and you're going to say your vows. All stupid six pages of them, verbatim, 'cause I know you, and you're going to that's why."

"They're not stupid."

Dean hums in consideration, then smirks. "There's bravery in acceptance. They probably are."

"Cas called them exquisite." Sam crosses his arms, and Dean uses the opportunity to pick up a hair from his sleeve with a disapproving look.

(Dean had offered to give him a haircut seventeen times and gotten turned down, and now Sam was shedding.)

"Yeah, well, he's a walking-talking scrabble board with good manners, what is he supposed to do?" Dean rolls his eyes but instead of the expected response of Sam snarking back at him, bitchfacing him or something, Sam sighs.

The air thickens with something that's probably a bigger deal than having to wing a couple paragraphs of page three of the vows.

Dean watches Sam fidget with the buttons on his cuff.

"How did you know, Dean?" Sam asks, subdued, after a pause. "How did you know that Cas wasn't — that Cas wasn't making a horribly wrong decision."

Dean's almost halfway to making a joke about the other shoe but he stops himself.

Because this?

This, he gets.

This feeling of thinking — knowing — you're not good enough, that you aren't right for the one you love, that you're somehow deceiving everything that your life has stood as proof of, in allowing someone else to bind themselves to you, forever, when you know that everyone who's ever meant something to you has lost, and died, and hurt.

And that is exactly why he also knows what to say.

"Because I trust him, Sammy."

Sam's eyes start glazing over. "I trust her too. I just, I'm just so scared —"

Dean winces at his words.

(That's Sam, but it's Sam in Dean's shoes. It was Dean's job — for better or for worse — to keep him safe. And he's failed, failed repeatedly, and now Sam — well, he's as broken as Dean.)

"I love her too much for anything to go wrong, Dean, and something — no, everything, always goes wrong." Sam grits his teeth, and Dean puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Squeezes. "I get it. I swear to you, I do. But I also promise that you might regret the things we've done, and the things that have been done to us, but you're never going to regret this."

Sam nods jerkily, eyes downcast.

"And I get being scared. Hell, I was more scared than you the entire week, dude. But you know how — and why, I pushed through?" Sam looks up again. "Because at the end of all of this, there's something more important than the promises of eternal happiness, and forever, and the Celine Dion lyrics I know you've stuffed in your vows. There's them. The ones we love."

Dean swallows.

"And who love us too, because our fucked up heads be damned, I've seen the way she looks at you, Sammy." Sam's face breaks into a small, wet smile. "So you better believe she does."

"I do." Sam slowly nods, again, eyes brimmed with tears.

(Probably about to start spilling. The only consolation for Dean is that at least his tears don't fall. Means as long as he doesn't mind a blurry view of everything, he might as well ignore their existence like he means it.)

"There, was that so hard?" Dean laughs instead, although it's weak until Sam joins in, surprised, and only then registering the words he just spoke.

"Thank you, Dean."

Is all he says, and anything Dean might've wished to say (or wisecrack) back at him is dismissed immediately because he's being pulled into a full Winchester hug by his door-sized little brother, and all he can do then is hold onto Sam as tight as he's holding him, and hold on.

(Because they made it.

They found free will, they found love, and they found their happy ending.)

Because Sammy's getting married today.

And they don't just get to be okay anymore. They get to be happy.

Sam doesn't pull back from the hug for at least a whole minute, but Dean doesn't mind, because the tears welling up in his eyes are gone when he finally smiles at Dean, earnest. "I'm —" He starts to say, but gets interrupted by Cas walking up to them with a cluster of carnations in his hand, wearing a rich navy blue tux (the same as Dean's) and a wide smile.

"Hope I didn't interrupt anything," Cas beams, knowing exactly what he walked in on, and Sam shakes his head courteously while Dean battles the weirdly overwhelming need to kiss him right there — Cas is almost ridiculously beautiful when he's happy.

(He doesn't, though.

Cause he and Sam may've just had a moment but it's not like that means he'd be any less likely to be a pain in the ass about urgently requiring brain bleach and therapy, if Dean did.)

Cas carries on.

"Actually, Eileen's friend, Cara, brought her flowers and she suggested I should bring some to you."

"A corsage." Dean realizes out loud, beginning to grin at once, while Sam resorts to ducking his head like an overgrown teenage girl on her way to prom. Doesn't mean that Dean absolutely doesn't put on his best chickflick Dad voice (after he's taken over pinning the flowers to Sam's pocket from Cas, cause he was doing it wrong) and pat the corsage when he says, "Get 'er home by ten."

"The dynamics of that are all wrong." Sam points out with a traditional Sam smirk, and yeah, he's okay.

"The dynamics of your face are all wrong."

"Great comeback, yeah." Sam snorts, and Cas smiles. "Points for effort. I think."

"Whatever, you're the one wearing flowers right now."

"Dean, you wore an ascot on our wedding day."

"Ascot trumps flowers!"

"No, it doesn't." Sam bitchfaces, and Dean turns to Cas, and —

"No, it doesn't."

And Sam lets out a victorious "Hah!", and high-fives a (only slightly) confused looking Cas before pulling him into a sasquatch-sized hug as well, while Dean rewards the entire ordeal with a heartfelt eyeroll and absolutely doesn't look on at two of the most important people in his life while he pretends to be bristled about being ganged up against on his special day as Best Man.

Cas and Sam separate sooner than Dean and he did, and just in time for Jack to poke his head out the church door and remind them they're ready.

Then, Cas leaves to get Eileen, with another big smile and a signed Congratulations at Sam, and a fleeting cheek-kiss for Dean.

Then, Sam and Dean get in position behind the door and Sam refixes his tie.

(Then, Dean has to stage-whisper "Jack!" about seven times before the kid realizes he's being cued — the band had just started playing, he makes it a point to try to explain to Dean afterwards — and the great, wooden doors finally swing open to reveal a beautiful white aisle, and dozens of their friends and family smiling from both sides of it.)

And then, Dean finally walks the kid he's raised and the brother he's saved the World with countless times, down the aisle.

(Sam only messes up once in his vows. It's the last verse of Thank You, by Celine Dion.

Rumor has it, it was intentional.

Something about the first time they met.

Dean tells Sam, "You're welcome", the next time he sees him.)

#happy saileen day #dean winchester pov #i just wanted to write a nervous sam before walking down the aisle scene and it turned into an actual fic from dean's point of view so —#saileen wedding #sam winchester being sam winchester #eileen leahy #deancas #background destiel #bluefirecas #userpris #usersila #holmesemrys #tearsofgrace #userstarry #rambleoncas #userdori #oh writing my writing

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juniorgman187 · 4 years ago

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Be Forever Young (Reid Fluff Fic)

Summary: After Penelope’s resignation from the BAU, she attempts to set up her tech protégé, Reader, with Reader’s intellectual match yet much older counterpart - Dr. Spencer Reid.

A/N: The POV switches between Reader and Spencer, just use context clues to detect who the narrator is. Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: 21 year age gap, headcannon proposal Playlist: Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny Word Count: 6.1k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Prologue

Events like these weren’t exceedingly rare. They weren’t anything like Halley’s Comet, by any means, where it only happens once in your lifetime - if you’re lucky. But they weren’t exactly sunrises - something that you can count on occurring every day without fail.

The best celestial phenomenon I could compare it to are blue moons. Rare enough to still have an element of surprise when they came, but not so rare that I should never expect them.

These ‘blue moons’ are actually the events in which I meet an intellectual match.

It’s not too often that I find a mind quite like mine, so you’ll forgive me for the reaction it elicits to watch them transcend the physical level and connect with me on the psychological one. There’s only been a handful of people who’ve ever had the exact standard of aptitude to be permissible into this metaphysical world with me, but now - there’s a handful and one.

The newest addition to the list is her.

_ _ _

Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia is nearly impossible. Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia about Dr. Spencer Reid is impossible.

I couldn’t tell you when the first time she brought him up was, but I could probably tell you just how many times since then she’s mentioned him.

A trillion. At least.

For months on end, he was the only thing she would talk to me about. Morning, noon, and night. Every single day she’d gush about him with the same unrelenting zeal as she had the day before and the day before that. It was both scary and impressive how she never seemed to run out of good things to say about him.

“You would just die for his apartment. It’s got this super chic dark academia thingy going on. You’d be really into that,” she would say. Or something to that effect. I was never really listening.

Not that I wasn’t interested in learning about Dr. Reid - I was very interested in him.

As a superior.

I first learned of him when he taught my Psych 101 class. Freshman year me was simply enthralled with him as a speaker, probably due to the charm of his awkward humor. I found it eerily relatable and touching, in a way. That was probably my favorite class, minus the assholes who made it less than enjoyable at times. (That’s a story for later).

The next interaction I had with him happened not even a year later when he came back after temporarily teaching to sit in on a philosophy class. Even though he was only auditing the lecture, whereas I was enrolled in the course, he ended up sitting in the seat right beside me. Had he not been gifted with an eidetic memory - a fact I found out during one of my obsessive research sessions - I doubt he would’ve even remembered sitting next to me.

Our shared field of work helped to bring us back together repeatedly throughout college. I would run into him at seminars, workshops, once even at a library where we were both looking for the same book.

But for the most part, our relationship was parasocial. It largely consisted of me learning from him at a distance. I would use his brilliant research to support my own assignments, read the books he recommended, audit the classes he would teach.

Rather than accurately interpreting my very limited, very professional connection to Dr. Reid, Penelope was deliberately using it as ammunition for her arsenal of reasons why I should consider dating him.

“You guys are basically already friends, and nothing is cuter than the friends-to-lovers trope!” Now that she actually did say, and the only reason I remember it verbatim was it was so outrageous I couldn’t not remember it.

And probably because she just said it to me right now.

“We’re not friends! We’re ... acquaintances. Colleagues, if you will.” My attempts to gain distance from Penelope and this topic of conversation were crashing and burning. The more I tried to walk away from her, the faster she would chase me. It was inconceivable how she managed to do that and continue to pelt me with her perky persistence.

“Even better! You know I’m no stranger to workplace romances.”

That I did. One Derek Morgan or one Luke Alvez ring a bell?

“Dr. Reid and I don’t work together,” I reminded her, if only to burst her bubble of insanity.

“Exactly my point! If you two don’t work together, then there’s nothing keeping you apart.”

I was stopped dead in my tracks, almost causing Penelope to trip since she was right on my heels.

“Nothing? Really? Try 21 years.”

That surely kept us apart.

Our age gap was one of those glaring disparities Penelope couldn’t wave away with her magic wand. Frankly, it wasn’t an age gap so much as it was an age Grand Canyon. He was a whole person of legal drinking age older than me!

Hell - our age gap itself was older than me!

Maybe there weren’t any contracts or agreements or supervisors to keep us apart, but there was still one significant thing doing that.

Time. Arguably the most important thing you needed to get right for a relationship to work.

If there were any chance that he and I were good together, that was squandered by our divergence in age.

Right person, wrong time ... but wrong time by more than two decades.

I could see the smallest fragment of hope wither away in Garcia’s eyes, and it actually hurt to have known that I caused that. Her voice was more solemn when she said, “You don’t have to date him, I just want you to go on a date. Get to know each other better. Who knows? You might finally graduate from colleagues to BFF’s.”

Not that I was seriously considering the possibility of growing closer to Dr. Reid, but there was one question lingering in my mind.

“Does he even want to go on this date? Have you asked him how he feels about it?”

Part of why I was wondering was on the off chance that she’d tell me he had the same objections towards this that I did, which would be good news for me since it would mark my reluctance as a sound judgment. If there was anyone whose opinion was worth something, it was his, right? After all, he was the provable genius in the same compromising position as me.

“Trust me, he’s been dying to do this.” In spite of her preface to trust her, I didn’t. I couldn’t be sure if she was suggesting that he’d been dying to go on a date with me or if he’d been dying to go on a date in general.

No offense to him, but I guessed it was the latter, and if that was the case, he was only being a team player because she hadn’t told him it was me she was setting him up with. Already suspecting that I’d probe further to navigate through her vagueness, she cut in with one last Hail Mary. “One date! That’s all!”

Whether you believe me or not, 100% the only reason why I said what I said next was to put an end to this madness. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Maybe 99.99%.

_ _ _

I never knew how I could lose so much time. Sure, if anyone asked, I could probably account for everything I’d done in my day, second by second. But still, there was this cloudiness, a fog, inhabiting my brain, casting this haze on whatever else dwelled in my mind, too.

I couldn’t focus on anything for more than 4 seconds at a time, and while that wasn’t incredibly concerning for the average human, it was disconcerting for me.

What was going on?

What is going on?

“What’s going on?”

Suddenly, a hand began to wave in front of my face. “Yoo-hoo? Anybody in there?” JJ wondered aloud, causing me to realize it was her voice that asked the question from before.

“Yeah, sorry,” I shook my head to regain some clarity, but that did me no good. My foggy brain still remained. It goes without saying my words were worth nothing as well. JJ saw right through me in a way that never failed to scare me shitless. I could never conjure up a lie good enough to follow that look she’d give me. So I settled for the truth. The question that cast the haziness in my brain to begin with.

“What do you think about me dating again?”

If I thought that first look was bad, then the one she was giving me now was something of a nightmare. At least with the first, I knew what she was thinking. With this one, I hadn’t a clue.

To relieve us from some of the insufferable silence, I found myself speaking again in my defense. “Garcia mentioned something earlier about setting me up with someone and it got me thinking.”

Thinking about Max that is.

Being my most recent girlfriend, it made sense why she was freshest in my mind. That being said, we’ve been broken up for 14 months, which in any other context would seem like more than enough time to start dating again, but therein lies the catch.

We didn’t just break up. She said “no” when I asked her to marry me, which, if you ask me, is one hell of a way to break up.

So from that perspective, it obviously begs the question: is 14 months too fast to move on from something like that?

JJ sharply inhaled. “Well, are you ready to start dating again?”

I still didn’t have an answer for that myself. “I don’t know. There isn’t exactly a rulebook on how long you have to wait until it’s socially acceptable-”

“Lemme stop you right there, Spence,” She placed her hand on top of mine. “You can’t just do whatever statistics or studies or science say is right all the time. You not only need to be more in tune with your own needs but accepting of them, too. Screw what anyone else has to say about you dating again - including Socrates, including Einstein, including Aristotle ... including me. Do whatever you think is acceptable by your standards - not society’s. Do what you wanna do and I’ll support that.”

There was something special about having JJ’s approval. It was like getting permission to be excited, something I didn’t know I needed or wanted.

“I’m ready.”

Born ready, as Penelope herself would say.

_ _ _

I was starting to get suspicious that maybe I had an invisible string attached to me and on the other end of that string was Penelope. It was the only explanation as to how she managed to trail behind me at an isochronal pace. Perfectly equidistant, perfectly equal intervals of time. Must’ve been some form of magic that she was able to synchronize that connection for as long as she did as we pranced around the office, basically chasing me.

“Okay, I know the date isn’t until Saturday, but I really think we need to amp up your wardrobe choices ... like stat.”

Hearing that I was seeing my superior still didn’t settle well with me. I don’t think I could ever get used to the thought.

I should’ve been offended at her suggestion to change my clothing taste as it implied my stylistic choices weren’t up to par, but a part of me, a very small part of me, knew she was right. And just because I wasn’t keen on the idea of going on a date with Spencer didn’t mean I didn’t want to look nice for him for it.

“I’m assuming you’ve got some ideas in mind,” I said in a teasing voice, knowing that’s precisely why she brought it up.

“See! You are a genius! Exactly why you and Spencer are meant to be together!” Her exclamation was just as loud as it was outlandish.

“Alright, calm down sparky,” I shot a warning look. “It’s just one date - we’re not soulmates.”

Then, talking in the quietest voice I didn’t think Penelope was capable of speaking with, she said, “Not yet.”

I knew the minute I showed even the littlest bit of interest in Penelope’s fashion guidance, I’d end up draped in ruffles, sequins, glitter, tulle, rhinestones, or all of the above. Nothing again Penelope’s personal style - it’s just not mine.

I was scared to ask, but I had to know. “So what were you thinking?”

Before my very eyes, Penelope’s constantly-there smile transformed, something akin to the mischievous grin of the Cheshire Cat. “I was thinking …”

In a Mary Poppins-esque fashion, Penelope produced a dress that in no feasible reality should have been able to fit within that little Hello Kitty side bag.

I suppose it must’ve been absolutely backbreaking for Penelope to refrain from choosing a multicolor or at least pattern-riddled dress, so as compensation for the fact that it was only one singular color throughout, it had to be a bold one.

Red.

“Not too shabby, right?” Her eyebrows jumped on her forehead, knowing she’d made a good choice.

And a part of me actually died saying this, but it was pretty perfect.

_ _ _

My life didn’t flash before my eyes, per se, the moment I finally arrived at the delicatessen. It was more like a very specific, singular memory had flashed before my eyes.

That story for later? This is the one.

Psych 101 was my best class in Freshman year ... by a long shot. Come rain, wind, or snow, I was always excited to go. It was a standout course on its own, but not because it was terribly spectacular or the most fascinating subject in the world, but more so because of how it changed my own person. It challenged me, like all worthwhile things do.

There were more judgmental meatheads - boys, if you will - than not, who would jump down my throat for being a smart ass or a teacher’s pet if I so much as answered one of Dr. Reid’s questions. Par for the course, really.

As a result, I had a proclivity to avoid raising my hand. It wasn’t that I was hyper-fixated on managing my reputation, just that participating wasn’t worth the eventual harassment from my dimwitted classmates.

Nonetheless, one day, I felt compelled to answer Dr. Reid when he asked what our thoughts were about the sampled, pretense manifesto.

No one else was jumping at the chance to speak, perhaps they were just as cowardly as I was, and it was clear that he was going to stand there waiting until someone finally would. The silence was painfully awkward for everyone and so I felt obligated, as a student who was actually enrolled in the class for credit and not just to audit like 90% of the other girls here, to break it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand hesitantly inched up into the air until it floated just high enough above the student in front of me’s head. As soon as I knew he saw it, I let it plunge straight back down.

“Yes, Ms. (y/l/n)?”

I could already feel the dirty looks and snide comments coming before I even said a word.

“I know we’re all collectively referring to this unsub as a man, and while that might just be a general assumption or Freudian slip perhaps ... I think the language is steeped in betrayal and contempt. And it would be ignorant not to notice how it reads more like the wrath of a woman scorned than your typical jilted male lover.”

“Lover?” Someone two rows back snickered quietly, clearly to mock my choice of words. I didn’t even have to look to know it was Brad who had said that. Nevertheless, Dr. Reid was impressed with my answer. His lips curved into the faintest smile as he nodded his head. If he had heard the commentary of one Brad Sterling, he made no visceral reaction to it.

With an extended hand, palm facing up, he gestured for me to, “Please. Stand up.”

I fumbled my way up and out of my seat to possibly delay the shit I’d get for this mere action.

“That, ladies and gentleman, is what it looks like to have courage,” He underlined his words with a grand flourish of his hand in my direction. “Putting yourself on the line even in the event you’ll be mocked and ridiculed or deemed wrong. That’s something you’ll need if you are seriously considering being part of the BAU, or the FBI at any capacity.”

My face was flushed from the acclaim he was showering me with. Suddenly, I was glad I volunteered.

Taking me completely by surprise, Dr. Reid wasn’t done yet.

“So, Mr. Sterling,” He began, directly calling out the boy in the back who without a doubt made the remark. I wouldn’t have had any reason to believe he heard it since his attention never diverted away from me long enough to catch the comment, much less the culprit. I wonder if he’d heard all the times Brad made jokes at my expense. Was he finally at his wits end with the sarcasm? “Make fun all you want, but might I suggest that if you like a girl, you do the opposite of that.”

His sickly sweet drawl was followed by a short wink at me as if to say ‘I have your back’, and I was lucky to have already been in the process of sitting back down because my knees would’ve given out underneath me from the sheer exhilaration of his praise.

The thought never once crossed my mind that Brad was so fixated on me because he had a crush, but it all made sense once it did. And if I didn’t know any better, Dr. Reid only humiliated him and brought it up because the realization dawned on him, too.

Was it possible that Dr. Reid was ... jealous?

In the spirit of complete transparency, that suspicion may have lit the tiniest wildfire imaginable in my chest. A wildfire that, even now, has yet to extinguish. Perhaps that little flame is the 0.01% of the reason I said yes. I could only imagine what kind of omnipotence it would soon gain if this date went well.

If he could light such an enduring kindle with simple praise, think about what would happen if he smiled at me. If he laughed at my jokes. If he held my hand.

If he kissed me.

Dr. Reid’s validation would be something I actively sought from all walks of life, I knew that much. What I didn’t know was how far that desire would take me.

I would have never guessed it would lead me here.

Standing in front of a fancy restaurant in a pretty red dress with the tenuous hope that the professor inside might just like it so much that he’ll end up liking the girl wearing it, too.

_ _ _

No matter how many times I adjusted the bouquet of poppies, they sat perpetually crooked on the table. Much like the dark gray tie around my neck that tightened around my throat with every passing second. I had to keep messing with it to loosen the noose-like grip it had on me. Who knew if it actually was becoming more restricting or it was the flourishing bundle of nerves in my stomach that made it harder to breathe.

I was never very good at lying in wait patiently. Especially if I was expecting something. Now that I was expecting someone? I could say with perfect clarity - I was not good at waiting.

I don’t wanna seem the way I do

Every time the door opened, my eyes flashed to it instantaneously. And every time it wasn’t her, a little part of me was disappointed. It was still too early to say for certain that she was standing me up, but my mind was doing what it did best. It wandered. There was nothing else to do after all.

Except maybe adjust those blood orange poppies one more time.

I’d picked them out specifically because Penelope slipped in a not-so-subtle comment about her dress being “a perfect match to the color of papaverales” - her words exactly. I thought if she went through that much trouble to find a color coordinated plant and say the scientific name for me to decode, it was worth picking up a bouquet of them on the way.

It was only the most ironic occurrence in the world that when I went to rearrange them one last time, I devoted my full attention to the action, missing the very moment I was on the lookout for the past hour and a half.

I didn’t even see her until the red poppies camouflaged into the identically colored setting of her dress.

Then there she was.

All the disappointment in the world was worth that first time I saw her with fresh eyes.

I was dumbstruck for a moment, long enough that it warranted an apology for not standing up sooner.

“(Y/n)! Hi!” I accidentally squealed. I couldn’t control myself, let alone control the pitch of my voice apparently.

I could see, in her, youthful naivete where, in others, I saw their age. She paradoxically had not aged a minute, and yet a new womanhood was piercing through her ultimately adolescent appearance.

“Hi, Dr. Reid,” She said through a laugh and a smile, shaking my hand politely and professionally. She was greeting me like I was still her professor and she’d just happen to run into me on an errand. Next, she’d be attempting small-talk for as long as it took for me to let her go.

Unfortunately for her, I had no plans for that.

But I’m confident when I’m with you

“Please, it’s just Spencer,” I reminded her, hoping to break down that governing image of me she surely maintained.

“Spencer,” She tried again; doing it more to be obedient to my instruction than to satisfy her own desire. It sounded so unnatural to her, just as it did to me. I found it adorable, actually. It seemed like she was breaking this unspoken, and very much illusionary rule to say my first name. “It’s nice to see you again,” She added after I pulled out her chair for her.

“Is it?” I asked when I rounded the table to get to my seat. “I get the feeling you’re a little disappointed.” The only reason I pointed it out was that it was true, not just that I’d observed the notion grow more poignant in her face for the past minute.

“Not at all,” She shook her head, which luckily for me, drew a line of congruence between her body language and verbal language. At least, she was being truthful. “It’s just that I’m sort of embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” I repeated in astonishment, unable to cultivate a list of reasons that would justify her feeling that way. I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d done to provoke that emotion, and it nearly broke me to consider her internal being substantiating it.

“Embarrassed isn’t the right word, but I can’t find a more accurate one for what I’m feeling,” She shied away from my eyes when she lowered her head as she spoke.

“You could try to explain it to me?” I offered gently. It took an overwhelming amount of self-restraint to not offer my hand with it. It would’ve been so easy to slide my hand across the threshold to enter her territory of the table, but who knows if doing so would just make her that much more uncomfortable.

“Well for one thing, I don't really go on dates,” From this alone, I could already relate to her enough to laugh at the fact. “Don’t laugh at me! You know how dangerous first dates can be,” She swatted her hand in my direction to chastise me.

“I do! I do! I think it’s really good that you’re protecting yourself to the point of avoiding dates,” I was teasing the implication that she wasn’t asked to go on very many, which was thankfully delivered well enough to make her laugh again.

“Hey! Many people have wanted to go on dates with me, thank you very much. You included.”

“Me included.” I nodded in approval. We sat in a short period of silence while we exchanged one soulful glance, borne from the insinuation of what I just said.

“And for another ... I respect you too much as a figure of authority to see you in that way.”

_ _ _

“In what way?”

Rather than tossing me a lifeline, he was feeding me to the sharks. Forcing me to dive into the deep end. He wanted to see me struggle to stay afloat in the sea of his sticky toffee eyes. He knew I'd get suspended in them when he gave me that look. How much I’d be willing to get lost in them just so I could wander in the depths of his honeyed orbs for a little bit longer.

That look ...

“You don’t find it weird?” This was the most honesty I could’ve demonstrated.

“Find what weird?” For someone with such a high IQ, you’d think he’d be quicker on his feet.

“This! You - me. On a date!” I gestured to the space between us. “You’re ... well frankly, Spencer, you’re old enough to be my father.”

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He genuinely cared about the answer.

“Only in theory. Not in actual life,” was the most precise response I could give.

“So what is making you uncomfortable?” Again, I could tell my answer mattered to him.

“You were my professor once, and now I’m just supposed to go on a date with you and see you as my equal when I’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you, putting you on a pedestal? Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? To be perfect?”

“Who says you have to be perfect? Who says you’re aren’t already?”

That one caught me off guard. I had to gulp down the lump of shock.

“You think I’m perfect?”

“That, or you’re pretty close to it.”

Lately all I feel is bad and bruised

I could’ve smiled, I could’ve thanked him, I could’ve fallen at his feet and thrown my dignity down there along with it, but I just laughed. I laughed.

“That’s ridiculous! You barely know me.”

“You’re wrong,” He simply replied with a firm shake of his head and a cavalier sip at his drink. It showed just how confident he was in his answer. How cocky he was.

“How am I wrong?”

He cleared his throat as though he were preparing to deliver the world’s greatest speech. Then, he leaned forward, motioning with his fingers for me to do the same.

“If I’m remembering correctly, which you know I am, you were the student who had the gall to raise your hand and correct me on my gender identification of the unsub, right?”

The second the sentimental thought, ‘aww he remembered’, came into my head, it was soon followed by, of course, he did, idiot. Eidetic memory, remember?

Tired of tripping on my shoes

“What does that have to do with me being perfect? Or so you claim?”

He was piercing deep into my eyes now, his gaze overwhelming my senses and sending shockwaves akin to the feeling of butterflies everywhere … and I mean everywhere.

“Bravery is the audacity to be unhindered by failures, and to walk with freedom, strength, and hope, in the face of things unknown.”

I recognized the quote as one of Morgan Harper Nichols, but the words went right to my chest like they were his own.

That damn wildfire just got a whole lot bigger.

“I’ve always thought about how if I could be unfazed by failure or even just the prospect of it, if I could just be strong enough or have enough hope to face what I couldn’t predict, I’d be set. I’d be golden,” He paused. “I’d be perfect ... but you? You, little one, have already got that figured out. So whether that means you’re perfect on your own because of your bravery or you're a perfect match for someone fainthearted like me, is up for you to decide. Whichever interpretation of being perfect you choose would be correct, but you should know - I meant both either way.”

But when he loves me I feel like I’m floating

When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked when he finally refound his voice.

“Since the minute I walked in.” I replied after refinding mine.

_ _ _

“You always take girls to your apartment on the first date, Doctor?” Asking this in the name of taking a jab at him was the most clever way I could think to conceal my underlying motive of trying to gauge how giddy I could let myself feel about the fact that he’d taken me to his ‘super chic dark academia’ themed residence - Penelope’s words, remember?

“Well, in my abundant dating history,” He sarcastically began, “I can’t say I ever have, no. You’d be the first.”

That shot another quick bolt of lightning to the wildfire in my heart that I’m ashamed to admit made the heat reinvigorate. The flame must’ve been too much for my chest to contain so it had to relocate to my face, where my cheeks were left to burn under his gaze and thanks to his admission.

I was the first.

He must’ve seen the glint localizing on my countenance and decided to speak on it. “Why does that amuse you?”

“I don’t know,” I dumbly but truthfully replied. He didn’t need any more information to get his answer, though. Because even if I didn’t know what amused me about being his first, I never denied that it did, and that was more than enough confirmation for him.

“You promise to be here when I come back?” He wagged a cautionary finger at me like it might persuade me to stay and hold me accountable if I didn’t.

Spencer needed to go into his room to collect an item that ‘shall not be named’ but was apparently essential for our super secret plans tonight (secret to even me) and he was leaving me in the living room while he did so. I guess being the initial girl he took home on a first date was okay, but being the initial girl he took into his bedroom on a first date was crossing a line.

That was alright with me, though. I was in this for the long haul.

“I promise I pose no flight risk, Your Honor,” I taunted with a coy tone. “But I can’t promise I won’t snoop around some.” Hey, at least I was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“Snoop around all you want,” He laughed ruefully, demonstrating an openness I quite envied and admired. “You’ll probably learn a lot about me that way. And you won’t even have to talk to me to do that!” I knew he was only saying that out of self-deprecating tendencies he harbored, but I couldn’t help feeling that a small part of him actually believed that I wasn’t interested in talking to him.

“Spencer, you know I do like talking to you right?” I caught him just before he ran into his room. Already halfway in the door, I could still catch the megawatt smile on his face.

“So stay then,” His smile grew impossibly bigger. “We can talk all you want when I get back.”

The door closed, and then suddenly reopened to let just his face through, a face that said, ‘Don’t go anywhere.’

After a few minutes of loudly sorting through his room, I heard the sanctimonious cry of victory. “Found it!”

I could hear the little pad of his feet and he happily trotted out of the room. “Ta-da! My stargazing kit.” He said it as though he were introducing the basket he was holding to me, and me to it. Like it was a real person he wanted me to know. I almost felt obliged to say, ‘Hi stargazing kit! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m (y/n)!’

“Let’s go,” He smiled, reaching for my hand.

I unabashedly took it, because although it meant that I was truly leaving his apartment, I had a very strong feeling that I would be back here again one day.

_ _ _

We were lying there on this big quilted comforter that was stashed away in that stargazing kit of his, staring up at the sky, drunk on the sound of our occasional fits of laughter.

“It’s Earth Day, you know that?” I wondered aloud in a state of complete euphoria.

“I actually did,” He said through a sheepish laugh, almost as if he was admitting the knowledge of it against his own will to protect my fragility.

From out of nowhere, there was a small tug on the skirt of my dress. I looked down to find Spencer’s hand there, playing with the fabric until it lay perfectly on my leg.

I coughed to possibly relieve the tension brewing in my loins. “So then you know the Lyrid meteor shower is tonight,” I moved the tiniest bit closer to lean into his touch.

“At exactly 4:33 a.m,” He moved too.

“Is that why you brought me here? To watch the shooting stars? To make a wish?” I thought for a second that I would appear exceedingly childish - more so than I already did being 21 years his junior. But he didn’t judge me at all for the kid-like notion of making a wish on a shooting star or the implication that I still believed in those things.

In fact, I piqued his curiosity, telling by the way he moved only his head to the side to watch my reaction. “Say I did. What would you wish for?”

In the throws of dreamy elation, I softly murmured the only honest answer. “To be older. But not the unfulfilling 9 to 5, loveless marriage, ‘I do my taxes for fun’ older. I want to be old in the ways that the stars and the sky are old. I want to be infinite.”

“...To be infinite.” He whispered my wish back, sounding sort of in awe of me.

Just then, the overhead horizon grew larger. With no buildings or people to block the view, it was just us, the stars, and the sky. I could actually feel that I was lying on a planet. It was so wide. So infinite.

“Can I hold your hand?” I asked softly, in a manner so vulnerable it scared me.

Without any words or hesitation, he put my hand in his.

“The universe seems so big right now. I just needed something to hold onto.” I explained quietly, practically with the hopes that he wouldn’t hear me. But he heard.

“I’m here.”

We didn’t know what was ahead of us then. We were just two people, looking up at the sky on a cold February night. We weren’t divided by power, or age, or space. We were ourselves and no one else.

My eyes fluttered shut again and a smile stretched across my face. “Stargazing was a good idea.”

The world and the sky and the stars and I - we were all infinite. I couldn’t have felt bigger in my own body. In the best way possible, I was taking up so much space. I was occupying the earth. I was made up of matter. I mattered.

Just as I began to open my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a fading shooting star. Though I had wished to be older, I still felt like a child. Then it hit me. I didn’t feel older because I wasn’t older.

I was infinite.

Yes, I was a child, but not in the pinch your cheeks, bottles and pacifiers, babyish way. I was a child in the ‘you have a life full of possibilities ahead of you’ way.

You are young. He tells me with his eyes. And that is a good thing. Be forever young.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

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yikestripes · 5 years ago

Text

High Heels, Red Dress

i think this is actually the longest fic i’ve written to date, goddamn. as always, i really really ran with this one. **LOOSELY BASED OFF OF SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 “52 Pickup”.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: none, some angst and some fluff.

“So you think he’s taking classes on how to talk to women?” Prentiss asked, incredulous. You tried to surprise your giggles, causing the others to look at you.

“Maybe Reid should try that,” Spencer’s face reddened as he busied himself with the file, pretending to read through it. You could tell he was faking because it never took him that long to study a file.

“I’m kidding, Spence.” You said a short time later, suddenly feeling guilty. Spencer looked up at you and nodded, tight lipped. He returned to the book he was reading. You shook your head and headed to the back of the jet to make yourself a coffee and take a break for a little while. Your peace, however, was short lived. Morgan strolled back and started making himself a cup of coffee while you waited for yours to finish brewing. He looked at you, eyebrows raised.

“What’s on your mind, Sweet Thing?” He asked.

“I feel really bad about what I said to Spencer.” You said quietly, taking a long sip of your coffee. Derek chuckled.

“I know why you said it, can’t say I blame you entirely.” You narrowed your eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh nothing, nothing at all.”

“Morgan.” Your tone raised slightly.

“Alright fine, you can put the angry eyes away. All I meant was that I can see the way you look at him, and you’re frustrated that he hasn’t made any sort of moves.” He said, leaning against the counter and raising his eyebrows again. “Am I wrong?”

Your answer was you walking away. He was completely on track, but you couldn’t bear to say the words out loud just yet. There wasn’t much hope on your end in terms of Spencer feeling the same way about you that you do him, so what was the point of hoping? It just lead to high expectations and low outcomes. You forced yourself to concentrate on the case file for the rest of the ride, briefly glancing at Spencer here and there; you made eye contact 3 times.

Although the jet ride was painfully quiet, the arrival on the scene was nowhere near as heavy. Well, in a sense. You were staring a dead woman in the face who looked just a little bit too much like you for your taste, and you could tell Prentiss was having similar thoughts.

“I guess we have to go pay this “Viper” guy a visit.” Spencer said behind you, quietly. You turned and looked at him, eyebrows raised. It was the first thing he’d said to you since the jet.

“Okay, I'll grab the keys from Hotch.” You turned on your heel and headed in Hotch’s direction as Morgan approached Reid.

“I see the way you look at her, you know.” Morgan said from behind him, frightening Reid slightly. He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, and made a confused face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said quietly, walking to the car you hopped in.

“Those two are made for each other, goddamn.” Morgan said to no one in particular. Meanwhile, your ride to Viper’s class was a little too quiet for your liking. You broke the silence and turned the radio down slightly.

“I’m sorry, Spencer.” He looked at you suddenly, as if lost in his own thoughts.

“For what?” He frowned.

“For what I said on the jet, that was unfair and I’m sorry.” Spencer was quiet for a minute, contemplating.

“I really am, Spence.”

“No no I know, I accept your apology. I was just thinking, what if that was the reason the unsub had taken the class in the first place?” You paused, waiting for him to continue. He had something.

“Meaning that if a woman in his life, whether it was a girlfriend, wife, or maybe a female in a club, made him feel small and that he was unable to pick up women. Maybe he’s impotent and he’s out to prove a point.” You grinned and touched Spencer’s arm lightly, retracting when you remembered his disdain for being touched. His facial expression faltered, but was replaced quickly when he called Hotch.

“You are such a genius, Boy Wonder.” He smiled and looked at his hands in his lap, feeling warmth spread through his body.

The drive through downtown Atlanta was an easy one, you having spent the majority of your early to late teens and 20s driving all through downtown D.C. You arrived at the community center rather quickly, and found Viper in a seminar room on the first floor.

“This is the jungle, my friends, and you are the predators.” He said to his class, earning a round of applause.

As you and Spencer approached, he looked you up and down hungrily, licking his lips.

“Well hello there, gorgeous. Fortunately for you my class just let out, and I happen to have an hour until my ne-”

“My name is Doctor Spencer Reid and I’m with the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit, and this is Agent (Y/L/N).” Viper tore his prying eyes away from you for a moment to look Spencer up and down, clearly unimpressed.

“Sure, sure. What can I do for you, Agents?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“This is regarding your, uh, class. Have you seen any sort of suspicious people or any of your students acting out of the ordinary?” Reid said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“All my students are out of the ordinary, otherwise they wouldn’t need me to guide them.” He returned his attention to you, with a smirk.

“I, however, am the master. Picking up women is my profession and my dedication.” You rolled your eyes.

“We need to see a list of your students.” You said, monotone.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Sweetheart.”

“We will come back with a warrant.” You glared. Men like Viper made you sick.

“Alright, fine, Miss. Agent. You’ll get the roster. You can have anything else you want, you just have to ask nicely.” Viper leaned in closer and Spencer moved forward, almost shielding you.

“Oh, Dr. Reid, moving to protect the lady, hmm? How often do you have to rely on that title of yours to help you bring women home?” He almost laughed.

“Frankly, “Viper”, the way you talk to women is completely demeaning and utterly disgusting. We will come back with a warrant and will be investigating your supposed alibis, because right now you are a prime suspect in a murder investigation.” Spencer got in Viper’s face, his face as cold as stone. You’d never seen him get his back up in this way, usually it was Morgan.

“I have receipts to back up my whereabouts last night, for your information.”

“If you have any questions, call the Atlanta police department.” You said quietly, handing him a card with the number written out on the back. He looked you up and down one more time and replaced the ridiculous furry hat back on his head.

You followed Spencer out the door and back to the car, almost unable to keep up with his pace.

“Spence, what’s up?” He looked out the window, not saying anything. You could sense his anger.

“What’s wrong?” You pressed.

“I don’t like the way Viper was looking at you or talking to you.” He spat. “He was looking at you the way a predator looks at literal prey; you are so much more than that.”

Your face softened, and you rested a hand on his shoulder.

“I appreciate you standing up for me, that was very sweet.” You whispered, giving him a small smile. His heart fluttered, and he mustered up a small smile in return.

“Anytime, (Y/N/N).” He looked back out the window and subconsciously unclenched his fists at your sides, making you smile a little more.

Your ride back to the police station was very quiet, Spencer was still angry at Viper’s disgusting nature, and was completely against Morgan and Hotch’s idea to send you into a club as bait.

“This is ridiculous!” He said, crossing his arms.

“Spence, it’s fine. If it’s what I have to do, then it’s what I have to do.” You said, beginning to get frustrated. You appreciated more than anything how much Spencer cared, it made your heart do backflips, but you could take care of yourself. You’d been an FBI agent for 4 and a half years, and trained with Morgan regularly. Worst case scenario, you could handle yourself.

“It’s not fine, (Y/N). You were already subjected to Viper once today, now you have to go act as the prey for the unsub? What if he kidnaps you?”

“Reid, we’re going to be stationed at the bar and on the floor handing out fliers. Nothing is going to happen.” Spencer walked out of the room, Prentiss following close behind.

You crossed your arms and huffed. Hotch looked at you, and then looked away. You knew what you had to do, and you were determined to save some lives tonight, whether Spencer liked it or not.

“Are you ladies almost ready?” Hotch said on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, Hotch, we’ll be out in 5 minutes.” Emily called back. You could hear Hotch’s retreating footsteps, and resumed your conversation.

“Did he really say that?” Emily asked, securing an earring.

“Yep. Verbatim.”

“Wow, I can’t believe Reid had the guts to stand up to Viper like that, or that Viper even had the audacity to say something like that!”

“When you’re a misogynistic narcissist, anything is possible.”

Emily laughed in response as you looked at yourself in the full body mirror, smiling a little bit. As much as you hated to admit it, you did look good. You were in a tight red dress with a plunging neckline, gold jewelry, and red heels. You adorned a smokey eye look and teased your hair, completing the outfit. If nothing else, you were definitely ready for the club. Prentiss’s outfit was similar, except black with silver accessories. You opened the door to find your knights awaiting, and a few dropped jaws.

“Phew, you ladies clean up nice. You sure you’re alright with this?” Morgan said, directing the question at you.

“Yeah. Where’s Reid?” You asked, Spencer nowhere in sight. Morgan frowned and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“He’s waiting in the car.” Hotch said, looking at Morgan. Morgan shrugged his shoulders as you followed them to the car you were set to take, separately from the rest of the team so it looked like you were going in on your own.

“Spencer’s jaw would drop harder than Morgan’s if he saw you back there,” Emily said, a knowing look crossing her features. You snorted a little.

“Yeah right, he wouldn’t notice anything was different.” Months ago on a ladies night with Emily, JJ, and Penelope, you’d confessed your crush on Spencer to them after a few glasses of wine too many. Since then, they’d done everything they could to try and make sure you two would get together, but to no avail. Either Spencer was pretty good at hiding his true feelings, or he just did not feel the same way.

You were hoping for option 1.

You arrived at the club a lot sooner than you would’ve liked, and entered beside Prentiss.

“Just pretend like it’s another ladies night.” She said. You nodded and headed straight for the bar while she went to find a hightop to stand at.

“Two margaritas, please.” You told the bartender, who flashed a white smile. You smiled back softly and looked at the sea of people crowding the dance floor, looking for any sort of activity that caught your eye. On the other side of the bar, something did catch your eye. Spencer. He was staring at you, and when he noticed you looking back, he reverted his attention to Morgan. You frowned, and thanked the bartender.

“Spence was staring at me.” You said as you placed your drinks on the table. Prentiss raised her eyebrows and nodded at Morgan, who nodded back. He and Spencer moved slightly away from the bar to pass out fliers and ask if anyone had seen the man from the sketch.

You mindlessly sipped your marg when a familiar scent hit your nose, and rose your eyes to meet Viper’s.

“Oh no.” You said, giving Prentiss a look.

“Hello again, fancy meeting you here. Decide to take me up on my offer to see me on my turf?” He asked.

“No.” You said.

“Well, maybe I can pique your friend’s interest here. How are you, Sweetheart?” Prentiss glared.

“Here to prey on some younger women?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. Viper frowned, but recovered quickly.

“If that means you, then yes ma’am. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, trying to take her hand. She snapped her hand back to her body, and looked annoyed.

“If you aren’t here to help us, walk away.” She said, clenching her teeth. Viper shrugged and headed back in the direction of the bar, probably to find some other poor soul.

“He is not real.”

“I wish that were true.” You both took a long drag from your drinks, and found your eyes wandering towards the tall, curly haired genius. It was hard to find him at first, until you picked him out as the most uncomfortable man in the room. Morgan was beside him, also without any fliers, pointing to various women in the room. Spencer was nodding, as if taking mental notes about whatever Morgan was saying.

“Women like it when you can make them laugh. I know your sense of humor is a bit questionable, but if you can get her laughing, you’re definitely on your way there.” Spencer nodded, finding his gaze locked on you. You looked absolutely stunning in your red dress, barely coming above your knees. Your makeup accentuated your gorgeous eyes and your hair framed your face, and Spencer was breathless.

“Hey, stay with me, Pretty Boy. These tips can work on her too, I promise.” He nodded in your direction with a knowing smirk. Spencer’s cheeks flushed and he turned his attention to the bartender, who was talking to a couple of younger girls. He approached her and gave her a shy smile and a wave, pulling a spare flier from his pocket.

“Have you seen this guy walking around tonight?” He asked. The bartender shook her head and moved on to the man next to her, filling a drink order as she spoke.

“He looks familiar, but so do all the men I come across around here. He’s a common character.” She nodded to the paper in Spencer’s hand. She clearly wasn’t interested, too busy to be.

“Alright, then can I ask you something?” He said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. She placed the drink down in front of the man next to him, turning her attention back to Spencer.

“Shoot.” She looked down the bar and saw that the other bartender had taken a few guests at a time, so she had a free minute.

Now he was across the room, talking to the female bartender. He was performing a magic trick for her, causing your blood to boil. She was giggling and touching his arm, and you could see the blush on his cheeks from across the room.

You grabbed your drink and were ready to march over there, when Prentiss caught your arm.

“I think I know who the unsub is,” You looked at her, thoughts of Spencer long forgotten.

“I was thinking about what you were saying about Viper’s speech today- the thing about squashing the queen bee.” Sparks collided in your brain as your eyes widened, connecting the dots.

“I’ll grab Spencer and Morgan, tell Hotch and let’s get out of here.” You chugged the rest of the margarita and felt it immediately, marching over to Spencer and Morgan much more confidently than you should have.

“We know who the unsub is,” You said, primarily to Morgan.

“Who?” Spencer asked, abandoning the magic trick and the bartender. She walked away without a second glance. Your glare hardened as you turned on your heel, walking out of the bar.

Morgan and Reid looked at each other before following you outside, watching as you jumped in the car with Prentiss and Hotch. Rossi pulled up in a car beside them, and they hopped in too. Spencer and Morgan put their vests on in the car and Spencer allowed his mind to wander. You’d looked so angry back there. Did he say something? He was only angry on your behalf earlier, he didn’t think you would be upset with him for something so trivial. He frowned as you all pulled up outside of the house.

You hopped out after Prentiss, still in your dress, but changed into black high top converse. You looked somehow even better with the dress and the converse, your hair still wild and free. Spencer gulped as he unholstered his gun, following behind Morgan. You were the first to enter the house, clearing almost half of the downstairs by the time Morgan and Reid caught up. You started up the stairs when you’d heard a crash from behind a door.

“He’s in there!” You yelled, jumping down the stairs to kick down the basement door. “FBI you’re under arrest!” You screamed down the stairs, making your way down with Morgan hot on your heels.

“Put your weapon down.” Morgan said, aiming right for his head. The unsub simply laughed.

“Or what, you’ll shoot me, pretty girl? I don’t think so.” The unsub inched closer, and you trained your gun on his head.

“One more step and you die. I don’t really think you want that, though.” You remained firm, and the unsub lost his nerve. The knife clattered as it hit the ground, the victim crying as she wriggled in her restraints behind him.

Morgan cuffed him and forced him upstairs, and as Reid approached you, you followed behind them. Reid frowned once more and followed Prentiss and Rossi back upstairs. Luckily, the unsub had slipped up and led the trail right to his home and the latest victim, who you were able to save. No harm had come to her when you had gotten there, although the disemboweling seemed like it was about to begin. It was safe to say she was scarred psychologically.

You stood a bit apart, arms crossed over your chest. You didn’t even hear Spencer approach.

“I don’t think I got the chance to tell you this, neither at the club or at the police station. You look beautiful,” Spencer’s brown eyes glistened, boring into yours.

“Thanks.” You said.

“I can tell by your tone and body language that you’re upset with me, but I still haven’t quite worked out why.” He pressed, standing in front of you, hands in his pockets.

“You don’t think I can handle myself.” You said, raising your eyes to meet his. He scrunched his face in confusion.

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to; it was the way you were so angry at the police station earlier today. It didn’t seem like you thought I could do it or handle it.” You glared. Your expression softened when Spencer frowned.

“I didn’t mean to make you think that, I was just worried about you. I don’t know what I would do with myself if anything happened to you,” Spence said quietly, taking your hand in his. All your anger dissipated the moment he took your hand.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You were quiet for a minute, contemplating bringing up what you saw between Spencer and the bartender. You decided against it, and opted to give him a hug.

“I appreciate how much you care, Spence.” You said into his shoulder. He gratefully returned the hug, elated that you were no longer angry with him. You both pulled away and rejoined your team, heading for the jet. You both slept the entire plane ride, since you were able to change into a pair of leggings and a hoodie. Spencer’s hoodie.

Spencer walked you to your car as he did after most cases, just so he could be secure in knowing you were safe for another night. You had been debating the entire walk whether or not it was a good idea to bring up the bartender, and you eventually decided to ask. You had to know whether or not to move on.

“Spence,” You broke the silence as you approached your car. He turned his attention to you, his eyes tired. “Whatever happened with the bartender from the club?” You asked, absentmindedly picking at your nails. He picked up on it right away, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?” He took your hand to stop your nail picking. You frowned. He rubbed his thumb across your knuckles to prompt you to continue.

“You were flirting with her and I wasn’t sure how it went.” You hadn’t thought past asking the question, therefore you didn’t have a very good reason why you were asking. Spencer looked unconvinced, but decided to bite anyway.

“Nothing happened, I didn’t get her number or anything. She wasn’t really my type.” He said, nodding. You nodded in return and smiled. He smiled, but furrowed his eyebrows further. “Why?” He smirked a little.

“I was just curious.”

“Uh huh. What’s the actual reason?”

“I WAS curious!”

“With ulterior motives, I'm sure.”

You shifted your weight between your feet, suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze. He raised his eyebrows and closed the already shrinking gap between you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled away and raised his eyebrows as if to ask, “Is that why?”. You reached up and pulled his face back down to yours in another soft, warm kiss.

“Yeah. I was a little bit jealous.” You said, slightly breathless. Spencer smiled softly, and intertwined your fingers.

“Why were you jealous?” You sighed, and smiled up at him.

“Because I like you, dummy.” His eyebrows shot up as if you told him the secret to curing cancer, and slowly processed a response.

“I-I like you too.” You pressed a final kiss to his warm lips and grinned into it, letting your forehead come to rest against yours.

“I should have known the way you were drooling over me in that dress.” You whispered. He looked away and swallowed, running a hand through his hair.

“Goodnight, Spence.” You rolled your eyes as you threw your go bag in your back seat. He was grinning like a doofus as he made his way to his car, receiving a text from you as soon as he got in.

“You’re such a little dork, Reid. You’re lucky you’re adorable.” The warm feeling washed over Spencer once again as he held his phone to his chest, smiling like an idiot his entire drive home.

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astoriaroleplay · 3 years ago

Photo

MEET JINYI “JINNIE” ZHAO

AGE: 29 years old

BIRTHDAY: December 21, 1992

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Genderqueer — she/they

OCCUPATION: Executive Vice President of the Zhao Group, Owner of Zhao Towers / Oracle

PLACE OF BIRTH: Astoria, Nova Pangaea

NEIGHBORHOOD: CBD

HAS LIVED IN ASTORIA FOR: 29 years

CHARACTER INTERVIEW

What makes Astoria still appealing to you? Is it related to personal or work relationships?

Pushing up her favourite red sunglasses on the bridge of her nose, Jinyi surveyed the interview room excruciatingly slowly even though there wasn’t much to see. And although her vision was tinted, there was no la vie en rose bullshit here. It was almost offensively bland and sterile, and yet, impressive. A chair, table, and courtesy paper cup of water. Efficiency within bureaucracy was a rare sight. “Hmmm…” She paused before taking a seat to lock eyes with the interviewer and smiled. “Nice to know that preferential treatment isn’t given here. I see our government hasn’t completely succumbed to corruption. Good, good.” She gave a nod of approval before finally taking a seat. Jinyi then took another pause just because. There was no thinking needed to answer the question, but what was the rush? At least a minute of silence passed before she spoke. She didn’t actually know how long it was; she wasn’t counting. “Both, I guess. My family’s here, and we help keep the city running. It’d be irresponsible for me to leave now, don’t you think?” She still hadn’t broken eye contact with the interviewer even as she took an arbitrary sip of water. “There’s still plenty of work ahead of us yet. That’s appealing, right? One might even say exciting.” The insignificant thud of Jinyi placing her paper cup back down emphasized the last word rather fittingly as she didn’t seem the least bit enthused at the idea of more work.

What’s something about your personality that you’re proud of? And what would you like to change?

The situation suddenly became funny to her the moment she heard the next questions. A small chuckle escaped her lips before she quickly tried to put on a straight face. She swore these exact questions were asked to her last week for a magazine feature. Too bad this official didn’t have a copy of that magazine because she was about to recite the same answer verbatim: “I see the potential in others even when they can’t see it in themselves. Hell, I even help draw it out of them as a bonus. I guess that’s what I’m really proud of — my charity.” She topped off the answer with a photogenic smile that rivaled the one that was the magazine’s front cover. This charity she spoke of was just another side to the coin of manipulation. Yes, she helped people become their best selves, but only if it benefited her. The best case was if you were simply a tax break to her. The worst case? Well… She didn’t like to dwell on the specifics. Results were all that mattered. “And a thing I’d like to change is how goal-oriented I am. Surprising, I know. But I’ve been told that I need to slow down, take breaks, smell the roses, and all that. I mean, I’m the EVP of my family’s company, the Oracle of my coven, and I just became the owner of the hottest real estate in the city all before I turned thirty. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even living life properly and not just speed-running it.”

Please elaborate on any violent circumstances you may have been involved with in the past.

Damn, reporters wished they could ask this question of her so blasé like this interviewer just did. “At the risk of sounding like a total pick-me girl, I’m not like other maladjusted nepotism kids that are prone to flying off the handle. Truly.” Playing the long game was more Jinyi’s style. It’s how she got this far in the first place. Being rash would lead to careless mistakes. And mistakes would almost certainly mean death. “Remember that heiress from the one airline who threw a hissy fit over some bagged nuts she got in first class because they weren’t served on a plate? Honestly, could never be me.” She shook her head and sighed. Getting that mad took too much energy and time. “But back to the question — was I ever personally violent? Heavens, no.” It wasn’t that she wasn’t capable of such things. It just wasn’t her pay-grade. After all, there were people more than willing to get their hands dirty for her to stay in her family’s good graces and on the company’s payroll. “Google my name if you want. All you’ll see are bad estimates of my net worth, a link to the executives page on the Zhao group’s website, and last season’s rumours about which unfortunate person is thought to be my latest lover. I’m clean as can be.” The last line was, of course, a blatant lie. No one got this powerful and not have a few stains on their resume. A favourite line of hers whenever someone tried to pry further was: ‘Well, it isn’t illegal to die earlier than planned.’ But as long as this official didn’t push, what didn’t need to be said wouldn’t be.

Your thoughts about supernatural beings.

Jinyi, ever the utilitarian, gestured to the table between them and the interviewer. “Everyone brings something to the table — mundane, supernatural, whatever. Like I said before, I see value in all of them.” It was a nicer way of saying they were all tools to her. It was also just another stock answer she had in her mental bank. Silence again passed as she chose not to elaborate further. A familiar pang in her stomach then reminded her that she had yet again been in a meeting longer than intended and ran into her lunch break. What was the use of blocking it off on her calendar if she wasn’t going to follow it? With a burger from Nine-Ten on her mind, it was Jinyi who said, “Well, thank you for your time today. This certainly was a lovely chat. Reach out to my people if you need anything else for the paperwork. My legal team and I will be more than happy to comply.”

FACECLAIM: Poppy Liu PLAYED BY: Jun

#poppy liu fc #all #witch #cbd #non binary

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darthkruge · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! I'm kinda new to the whole tumblr thing so sorry if this request is bad but I was wondering if maybe you could do an imagine for spencer reid where the reader is Garcia's younger sister and Garcia brings her in to meet the team because it's her first day there. Maybe Reid recognizes her from somewhere and he will not leet it go until he finds out how he knows her? Btw it's totally fine if you don't get to this! :)

Spencer Reid x Reader ~ Piano

Summary: When a new agent joins the BAU, Spencer knows he’s seen them before but literally cannot figure out where. His memory having never failed him before, he doesn’t rest until he figures it out.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral! Reader; Penelope Garcia x Sibling! Reader

Words: 1973

Warnings: A little bit of language, I think that’s all?

A/N: Hey anon!! First off, don’t worry, love! I’m honestly new to this whole tumblr thing too, but I loved this request! I’m sorry I didn’t get to it sooner, life’s been a bit hectic. I made it so the reader is Garcia’s younger sibling instead of sister, I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to try to make writing as gender neutral as possible moving forward. Nothing against you, of course, I know I haven’t specified in past requests and I couldn’t have expected you to know, so don’t worry! That being said, sorry for rambling and I hope you like it :)

(gif isn’t mine)

“Hello, everyone! I want you to meet the youngest of the wonderful Garcia children!” Penelope led you into the BAU where you waved a bit stiffly. You weren’t a huge fan of being the center of attention, but you knew your sister loved these introductions.

Looking around, you pieced together the people you knew from Penelope’s stories. You recognized Derek immediately. You assumed from his professional stance that the taller and older dark haired man was Hotch. Logically, that meant Rossi was next to him. And Emily and JJ were the two women, smiling and waving at you encouragingly. You smiled a bit broader, immediately sensing you would be fast friends with them. Finally, your eyes landed on what had to be Spencer. You thought he was quite attractive and, from Penelope’s descriptions, he was also amazing, talented, kind, smart, basically everything you liked. You waved at him but noticed he was almost studying you? You weren’t sure, but felt a bit awkward, confused as to why he seemed friendly to everyone else but wouldn’t even smile at you.

“Umm, hi!” You said, laughing nervously and kind of hoping to disappear. Hotch sensed your discomfort and offered you a kind smile before putting you out of your misery.

“Welcome to the team, L/N. Garcia’s told us wonderful things about you. That being said, we’re just closing up tonight, so you could finish up your paperwork finalizing your transfer into the BAU if you haven’t already and then come in for your first day tomorrow?”

“Okay, thank you, Sir.”

“Goodnight, team”

Everyone echoed the “Goodnight” before filing out of the room. You got into the car with your sister and pulled out of the BAU, reflecting on your past and thinking about the next chapter of your life.

After almost everyone else had left, Spencer was still at his desk, thinking. The certified genius, was, for once, completely at a loss. He couldn’t figure it out. Where had he seen you before? He was currently in the process of mapping out every place he’d gone to over the last few months. Every restaurant, every film festival, every face he saw in passing at crosswalks, through car windows, at coffee stands, and, still, nothing.

“Woah, Pretty Boy, slow down! What’s got you so riled up?” Derek says, walking over to where Spencer was hunched over his notebook, furiously writing.

“I can’t figure it out, I know we’ve met before or I’ve seen them before or something. I just,” Spencer put his head in his hands, eyes starting to burn a bit from the strain of writing and concentrating for so long, “I just know it”

“Seen who before?”

“Y/N, the new agent. They’re so familiar, but for some reason I just can’t figure it out”

“Ohh! Garcia’s their sister, right?”

Spencer nodded and Derek came behind him, seeing the messy timeline and pages of notes scattered around the agent.

“Are you sure you’ve seen them? I mean, we see lots of people on the job. You could have just seen someone who looked like them, you know? And come on, Reid, your memory is, like, insane . If you’d met, you’d have remembered”

“I know, that’s what’s got me so messed up.” Spencer sighed.

“Take a rest, kid. It’s late, get back to it tomorrow. Maybe they’ll visit you in your dreams…” Derek said, wiggling his eyebrows and laughing as he walked away.

Spencer laughed, hoping Derek was right. He’d do anything to get more time with you, even if it was in his subconscious. Honestly, he felt a bit bad. He’d been so caught up in figuring how he knew you that he’d kind of forgotten to actually talk to you. Normally, he’d have caught a new recruit before they left, but he didn’t get the chance with you. After packing up, Spencer went home and continued his search with you on the forefront of his mind.

Meanwhile, you had just gotten back to your sister’s apartment. You had your own place but you were new to the team and felt a bit lonely. Mentally, you didn’t want to be alone at home, too.

“Hey, Pen, what’s up with Reid?” You asked. You were confused, you knew he was quiet but he seemed to be actively ignoring you. Even stranger, you caught him intensely staring at you, as if he was trying to figure something out.

“He’s just shy, Y/N. But he’ll warm up to you, don’t worry! Honestly, I think the both of you would be a pretty good match. If you want, I can do some of my famous matchmaking!”

“Please, noooooo,” You groaned, dragging out the word.

“Come on! I’m great at it!”

“No! Remember last time? I ended up on a blind date with a guy who, within the first three minutes, told me he liked me because he saw similarities between me and his parents!! Then, he proceeded to detail their divorce for the next 45 minutes!”

Penelope was laughing hysterically, “I mean, you did say you liked emotionally available people!”

You grabbed a pillow and threw it at her head, dying in your own fit of laughter.

“Alright, that’s it, I’m going to bed. I can’t be conscious in the same house as you anymore” You say, smiling and jokingly flipping your sister off as you walk away and into the guest room.

Naturally, she returned the gesture.

When Spencer arrived at work the next morning, his eyes were bloodshot, hair was sticking up in a million different directions, and clothes were exceptionally disheveled. Anyone else and you would have thought they had a really bad (or great) one-night stand. Although you weren’t close with him, you just didn’t see him being that type of guy. You laughed a bit as he grimaced, taking a sip of what looked like extremely bitter coffee.

Deciding to try and break the ice, you went over to him. “Long night?”

Spencer’s head shot up. “Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that” He said, laughing a bit.

You smiled. Even though he was awkward, you felt at ease in his company. “I get that, I’ve had a few long nights myself. I love the job, don’t get me wrong, but the way the BAU runs is different from anything else I’ve ever dealt with.”

“Yeah. It can be a bit of an adjustment, but you’ll be fine. You’re doing great. I mean, you arrived early, so I can already assume you’re organized. And your desk is a little messy, leading me to believe you’re a creative person. Your handwriting is quite slanted, too. I recognized it from your entry forms. Did you know that’s a sign of high intelligence? Because your thoughts are moving so quickly, your hand can’t keep up in the “perfect” way, so the letters normally slant and become more sloppy.”

You were mesmerized by him. You could watch him talk for hours, truly. Sure, he wasn’t always graceful, but he was so passionate about everything he talked about. You loved listening to people talk about what they love. The way their eyes light up, it makes the energy surrounding them contagious.

Realizing he had just psychoanalyzed you without permission, Spencer looked at your sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to profile you. It’s sometimes hard to shut off, especially around new people.”

“I get that. It’s okay, I don’t mind.” You said, nodding knowingly.

As you said that, Spencer figured it out. He remembered one time visiting his mother in Vegas and hearing you say those exact words. You were playing the piano, talking to a patient who had just accidentally spilled some water on your sheet music as they took their medicine. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I was in need of new music, anyway” You had responded, laughing. He was surprised he didn’t immediately recognize you, the beautiful and talented person he’d seen that day. But, it did make sense, in a way. Spencer’s memory is always at its highest and weakest when he’s with his mother. He can remember each of their conversations, verbatim, but everything else fades.

“Spencer? You alright?” He had been kind of spacing out for a few moments and you were afraid you did something wrong.

His attention came back to you and he smiled again, brighter this time. “You play piano.” He stated.

Your breath caught and you let out a small laugh, extremely confused. “Uhh, yeah, I do. I’m sure you’re great, but that seems extreme even for you, Mr. Profiler”

Spencer laughed. “No! I didn’t profile you, I just, I remember you. Las Vegas, March 12th, Psychiatric Hospital, you were playing piano. A patient spilled water on you. I remember you.”

“Oh, right! Ms. Owens! She’s lovely. You were there that day? Well, either that or you just gave yourself up as a damn good stalker”

“No, no, not that,” He said, a shy smile playing on his lips, “My mother’s a patient there, Diana Reid? I’m not sure if you know her.”

“Yeah! She’s quite a character. I always enjoyed playing on days Diana was there.” You reminisced for a second, lost in the memory.

“Were you visiting someone there, too?” He said, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Not exactly. My grandfather was a patient before he passed. He taught me how to play and I kind of just asked the staff if I could volunteer and continue to after he left. They were kind enough to let me. I mean, he always encouraged me to perform and I thought it was a nice way to honor his memory. A few months later I heard from Penelope that there was an opening at the BAU. I moved out, and, well, here I am.” You gestured to yourself, slightly embarrassed after you realized you might have overshared.

Spencer caught onto this, however, and quickly reassured you. “That’s amazing, Y/N. You were amazing when I heard you. I wish I could have heard you play again.”

“Thank you, that’s really sweet, Spencer.” You said, resting your hand atop his, a blush forming in his cheeks at the touch.

“Um, if you don’t have plans. I mean, not to assume you don’t have plans, just if you, you know, happen to not be busy, would you want to maybe get dinner sometime? You don’t have to, of course! I wouldn’t be offended! I just kind of want to get to know you more. If that’s alright with you.” He trailed off, not making eye contact and playing with the buttons on his shirt a bit as he awaited your answer.

Deciding to be bold, you gently turned his face to meet yours and smiled. “I would love to. Tomorrow, pick me up at 8:00?”

“Yeah! Here’s my number, text me your address?”

You smiled and nodded, taking his phone. He took the moment to just look at you. You were truly one of the most breathtaking people he’d ever met. He couldn’t believe he’d just gotten you to agree to go out with him. Even so, he wouldn’t question it. If something in the universe gave this to him, he wouldn’t risk it for a second.

You placed a gentle kiss on his cheek as you slipped the phone back into his hand. As you pulled away, Spencer cupped your cheek and pulled you back in for a kiss. His lips tasted sweet and soft and a sense of serenity washed over you as you stood in the middle of the BAU, kissing him. Everything faded away and quickly came into focus again as he pulled away, far too soon for your liking.

“More of that tomorrow” He whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

You smiled, “That’s fine by me.”

~requests are open~

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x gender neutral reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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aperrywilliams · 5 years ago

Text

The Resident Genius (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

———————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader x BAU

Summary: Reader joins Spencer in his last day in the BAU.

Word Count: 3497.

Warnings: None. Melancholy? Could be a category for this.

A/N: Today is Monday. I don’t want to work. I’m thinking in retirement. That’s all.

——————–

“Are you ok?” (Y/N) asked me squeezing lightly my arm while the elevator lifted us to the 6th floor.

“Yeah. A little bit nervous, but I’m fine,” I replied giving her a little smile. She took my hand intertwining our fingers. “Thank you” I muttered.

“Why is that?” she asked smiling.

“You didn’t need to be here right now. You haven't come here for a while”. I shrugged.

“I didn’t let you do this alone. You did the same with me some years ago. I’m your wife, remember?”

“I remind it every day I wake up next to you. And I realize me how lucky I have been all this years for that” I told her with a smile.

“You have become cheesy over the years, you know?,” affirmed (Y/N) giggling.

“And you love that, don’t you?,” I pointed out.

“Yes, my cheesy and loved Dr. Reid,” whispered (Y/N) kissing my cheek.

“I love you”

“I love you too, baby” she replied.

The elevator doors opened and we walked to the glass doors of the bullpen. Opening them made the environment feel like any other day at work. Agents moving from one desk to another, from one office to another. Some reviewing files, others making phone calls, others discussing an ongoing case. My routine for the last 40 years.

With (Y/N) we go up the stairs to the offices sector, coming at the door of my office. Oh yeah, Dr. Spencer Reid finally managed to have an office for himself when he completed 30 years of service at the BAU.

It wasn't a big deal to me either. I was used to my desk. The desk which witnessed so many conversations with my team mates. Where I could perform my magic tricks by experimenting with the laws of chemistry and physics, where I spent hours and hours reading reports. The same desk that housed hundreds of coffee mugs on it. Desk from where I could peek at (Y/N) without her noticing. The same desk that witnessed our sneaky kisses with (Y/N) when everyone had already gone home and we were the only ones working in the bullpen. Desk where I knelt to ask her to marry me. The same desk where I was sitting when (Y/N) told me she was pregnant the first time.

"Are you going to step inside?". (Y/N) asked when she saw I stood in front of the door without opening it.

"Yes. Sure. I got distracted. Sorry". After I put a feet on the office, the first thing I saw were empty boxes ready to be filled with my things. Which were not few. It was enough to see the shelf full of books, some of which I had from my first years at the BAU.

“I think these boxes won’t be enough. I had forgotten how many books you had in the office” (Y/N) commented laughing.

"And we still haven't discussed where I'll put them at home..." I stated clearing my throat.

“Now I think is good Emily doesn't live with us anymore. You could use that room for a 'new' library,” (Y/N) suggested.

"It’s possible. Although Abby surely wanted to take that room for her...".

"I'm sure you can reach an agreement" (Y/N) replied giving me a kiss in my forehead.

“Yeah, I think we will”

“Okay, start packing. I'll make you a coffee in the meantime" she said starting to move to the coffee machine placed in one of the shelves.

"You are the best, you know?". I answered, taking her by the waist, bringing her close to my body and lifting her chin to look at those eyes that keep driving me crazy as if it were the first day I met her.

"I know. But… are you going to stare at me forever or will you dare to kiss me?". We both started laughing. That verbatim phrase left her lips for the first time after our first date. I leaned down to meet her lips with mine. Almost 30 years of marriage and kissing (Y/N) still makes me erupt butterflies from my stomach. The power of this woman over me is indescribable.

Our kiss was disrupted when someone opened the office door.

"Dr. Spencer Reid on his last day of work. I thought I was going to see him busily packing his books and not in a make-out session with his wife."

"Wow, I didn't expect my boss to find me this way". I commented laughing.

Jack Hotchner had become the BAU’s Unit Chief 5 years ago, following in his father's path. Easier to smile than Aaron, Jack maintained the same rigor leading the BAU, proving to be a natural leader. Respected and loved by his colleagues, no one questioned his rules, not even the impulsive Hank Morgan, who joined the BAU 3 years ago.

“I think you will need help Reid. I doubt you can finish packing by yourself before lunch” Jack affirmed.

"Hey, maybe I’m old and never have been very athletic, but at least I can take care of my books" I protested.

"If you say so Reid... if you say so..." said Jack teasing me.

“I would help him. But I know him and I know that just touching one of his relics he will go crazy. So I just make the coffee and thus avoid problems" stated (Y/N) laughing.

“You know him better than anyone (Y/L/N). When you left the BAU a few years ago, Dr. Reid became a grouch in the office because no one else understood his ways,” said Jack.

"Could you at least consider me here when you talk about me?" I protested again as Jack and (Y/N) laughed.

“I'd better leave you, so Dr. Reid can start his task. I'll be back for you at lunch,” Jack declared.

"Jack... is it necessary?... I mean, I can say goodbye to each one of you here... it’s not necessary to have a large lunch meeting with everyone..."

“I won't hear complaints about that now Reid. I'll be back for you at lunch time,” said Jack before closing the door.

"The boss has spoken" (Y/N) recited looking at me and shrugging.

"You know that I don't like these activities with so many people... and even less if I have to give a speech..."

“Spencer… baby, I know. But they are your colleagues, several of them children of your best friends. They have known you for years. You are even godfather to some of them. The least they want to do is say goodbye to you in this job that has been your life for almost 40 years”.

(Y/N) was right. A lifetime at the BAU. Just thinking about it I felt tears well up in my eyes. I knew it was the natural passage of time, but I didn't know yet if I was ready to leave this life behind.

"I know. It's just… thinking I won't be working in this place again makes me anxious. What am I going to do now (Y/N)? "

"Isn't it Dr. Spencer Reid, who is always enthusiastic about knowledge and new things, who asks me that?" (Y/N) teased me.

"Don't make fun of me (Y/N), you know I don't have the same energy as before..."

"Maybe not. But I know you. That brain of yours will handle it. Besides, I think you owe me some nights where we can go to bed early and many mornings to stay in bed until after noon, don't you think?”

"Yes. It’s true" I replied with a smirk.

“Spencer, you have to take things in a different perspective. And to enjoy what you have achieved in this years of full effort. For example, seeing your children doing what make them happy. Learning from his father”.

"Stop right there (Y/N)... I don't want to cry... yet, please." (Y/N) grinned and pulled me into a tight hug.

“For many years you were the resident genius of this place. It’s time you leave that place to new resident geniuses”, she sentenced, sealing her words with a kiss on my cheek.

We start packing. Indeed the boxes weren’t enough. (Y/N) had to go get some more from the basement. The few pictures on the wall were also packed up. As well as the photographs that were on my desk: one of my mother, another of (Y/N) with me on our wedding day, another of Emily, Theo and Abby, my children. One last from the BAU team with Hotch, Rossi, Prentiss, Morgan and JJ.

The morning went quickly. It was a little after 1:00 p.m. when Jack got back to the office.

“I see you are almost ready. The remained things we can take it later. We can ask some of the boys for help,” said Jack, looking around the almost empty office.

“I think that help will needed to load the car. I didn't think it would be so many boxes after all” I complained.

"No problem. Now come on, it's time for lunch”.

Leaving the office and walking down the hall to the conference room, one last time, was more difficult than I thought. (Y/N) noticed it immediately and took my hand, squeezing it gently to encourage me. I looked at her and when she saw my anxiety she approached my ear and whispered 'I'm so proud of you Spencer, I love you so much. We are in this together, don't forget it.' I nodded, gulped, squeezed her hand, and I continued walking.

Stepping inside the room, my surprise was greater than I expected. Not only did I see my colleagues, in fact, I saw the children of my friends, my godchildren, some of my friends and my own children. Everyone lining up to give me a hug.

The first was SSA Hank Spencer Morgan:

“Uncle Spencer, we're going to miss you here. You have been a great example for everyone”.

"Thanks Hank. I’m leaving comfortable knowing you are here and knowing you’re a great contribution to this team”.

Then it was his father's turn, Derek Morgan:

“My man! At last you are leaving this place. I didn't think you were going to last so many years. I thought I was going to die and you would still be rambling at the BAU. Come on!. It's time to enjoy life with (Y/N). Start thinking about a second honeymoon" he sentenced, elbowing me in the ribs.

"Completely considered" I replied laughing and giving him a squeeze on the shoulder.

Then it was SSA Michael LaMontagne's turn: “Uncle Spence, it was an honor to have worked with you at the BAU. I have learned a lot from you in life, not only here. We’ll continue to see each other for sure”.

“Of course we do, Michael. I'm sure you’ll continue to do an excellent job here. I have no doubt about it”.

Behind Michael was Henry LaMontagne. The first baby I held in my arms– almost panicking: “Uncle Spencer. The BAU owes you a lot. I am proud to be your godson and thankfully for you to be part of our life. Much success in this new stage of your life”.

"If the BAU owes me, I also owe the BAU, so I think we are at hand." I replied.

By now tears were falling from my eyes. A motherly smile spread to the next person in line: JJ. She came over and I buried my face in her shoulder.

"Hey, you should be happy. You will stop drinking this horrible coffee" she said while hugging me. "Spence. We both know that this place became an important part of our lives. But you have to let it go. We deserve it".

"I know. I'll just have to get used to the idea. You know, no longer bad sleeping habits, decent food, those things… I don’t know if I’m ready for that”. I replied wiping my tears with my fingers.

SSA Chloe Simmons was next to hug me:

"Dr. Reid, really thank you very much for all the teachings you have given us over the years. My dad always spoke with great appreciation of you. I'm sure he would have loved to be here now”.

“Thanks Chloe, Matt was a great man. Very smart and much more athletic and stocky than me, of course. Surely he must be happy that you have decided to join the BAU”.

Who was next in line? Former BAU chief and now former FBI director Emily Prentiss:

“Finally Spencer!, just like Morgan, I thought I would disappear from this world and you would still be working at the BAU. Come here my favorite genius”, Prentiss said while she pulled me into a hug that could have left me breathless. It’s true Prentiss no longer had the same youthful strength as before, but she would always be a tough girl. I reciprocated the hug as strongly as possible.

“Sooner or later it had to happen. I hope you have already forgiven me for how badly I treated you the first months of your arrival". I said laughing.

"You fool. Your memory is clearly better than mine. I already forgot” she replied laughing too.

Then it was Jack Hotchner's turn:

“Thank you very much Spencer for everything. For all the years you spent at the BAU. This place owes you a lot and there is nothing we can do to even make up for even a part of your dedication here."

"Thanks Jack. I can only say that Aaron would be tremendously proud to see you in the man you have become."

At the end of the line were my children. The first to hug me was Emily, now SSA Dr. Emily Reid:

"Dad. I'm so proud of you. I just wanted to thank you because despite this job and how demanding it is, you managed to be with us in our childhood and growth. You’ll always be an example for us and I only hope to live up to what you have been for the BAU”.

"My little pumpkin. Now you are Dr. Reid of the BAU. Have no doubt you’ll do an excellent job here. Better than mine even, because you have your mother's DNA and teachings. I'm proud of you. I love you so much. I wish you the best for the future. You deserve it". The hug we gave each other could have been eternal. My little one, my daughter, the first fruit of my love with (Y/N).

Then came Theo. My little man. The image of (Y/N). The same kindness, the same audacity, the same dedication to others. Not for nothing did he become a primary school teacher. His vocation fills me with delight and seeing him happy is my greatest happiness.

"Dad, congratulations! You managed to overcome the adversities of life and you have reached this point where now you can see everything you have achieved. You can be with mom and enjoy this new time with her. I have always admired the love you have for each other. Patience and dedication towards each other. Thank you for showing us that and teaching us to be better persons, both through the good and the bad”.

“Thank you Theo. My little man. You know you’ll always be our little one, right? With your mother we love you very much and we are happy to see the person you have become”. We both embraced and when we parted I kissed his forehead, just like I did when he was a child.

Abby came later. Without saying anything, she hung around my neck, burying her head on my chest. She was crying. I couldn't help it either and started crying too.

"I'm sorry dad. I didn't want to cry because I knew it would make you cry too. But they are tears of joy, to see everyone in this room loves and appreciates you. You’re the best in the world dad, even if you are a nerd and sometimes you are more strict than mom”. We both started laughing.

“Thank you my little baby. It makes me so happy to have you still with me. To see how you grow up every day and find your own way. Sorry if I'm a little more strict than mom sometimes. I'll try to relax a bit, I promise." Abby squeezed me hard and before releasing me she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

As if all the tears I had shed up to that moment and the lump in my throat from the emotions of the moment were not enough, I had to give a speech. At least say something. (Y/N) came to my side and took my hand. She knew perfectly well this was the part that made me nervous, even at my age. They were all silently looking at me. I cleared my throat and started to speak.

"I must start by saying that with all the hugs that I gave today, I’m ready with the hugs that I had not given in these 40 years...".

Collective laughter. Of course, we were talking about Dr. Spencer Reid, the man averse to displays of affection who appreciated them over the years and only reserved them for the most important people in his life.

"Having said that. And knowing that you expect a speech in the least eloquent from me, I must be sincere and confess that everything I say in from now may make very little logical sense in some parts, because it responds rather to the most emotional and chaotic part of my person. Part that (Y/N) knows well and who I know is chuckling without even looking at her…"

I could hear the giggles of (Y/N).

“Am I rambling already? I'm sure you expected no less from me. As well. I'm not going to tell you the story of how I got to the BAU because you already know that. Nor am I going to tell you how each one of these 40 years working here was, because almost half of you also know it and the other half are living it right now..."

Again, collective laughter.

“Apparently with age I managed to find my comical side, because when I was young nobody laughed at my jokes. I don't blame you either, they were nerdy jokes, I wouldn't have laughed in your place either. Anyway. I don't want to diverge from the main issue..."

Silence. Full attention to me. To my words. It was like a conference, but the most important of my life.

“I want to thank each of you for being here today. I'm sure you had more important things to do today. Even my wife, whom I had to bribe to help me pack my office stuff. No, seriously. Thank you very much. Today is a weird day. I’m happy to see all of you, but I’m also sad because I have to leave and I’ll no longer work at the BAU anymore...

This place saw me grow up. Here I made mistakes, here I could made a difference too. Here I fell in love with a great woman. Here I made great friends. Here I started a family…

I just want to tell you that this place has been full of excellent people, not only good professionals, but good people, with a good heart, committed to the objective of this work, although sometimes the personal costs have been higher…

I think it's fair to mention them now, because I had the honor of meeting them and working with them. Everyone made me part of their life and so they are part of mine: Jason Guideon, David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, Penelope García, Elle Greenaway, Jordan Todd, Jennifer Jareau, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Ashley Seaver, Alex Blake, Kate Callahan, Luke Alvez, Tara Lewis, Matt Simmons, Stephen Walker… I could go on. There are so many people. There are so many stories..."

I couldn't stop my tears. The rest of the audience either. It was a chorus of sobs, some more muffled, others more expressive. I had to stop for a moment. I took a deep breath and composed myself again. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around my torso, resting her head on my back. I could feel her tears running through my shirt.

“Well, I don't want this to be a sad moment. I want to leave this place thinking I tried to do things right. That I did all I could to be a contribution to this team. Now, as (Y/N) told me a few hours ago, it's time for the new resident geniuses. The BAU stays in you, this great family continues with you. You must work together, support each other, grow up, make mistakes, learn from your faults, listen to each other. You must be a team. I will always miss you guys, and if you ever need an old nerd who likes to ramble and talk about everything, who knows strange things and a lot of statistics, you know where to find me”.

———————

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #BAU #criminal minds #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #normalize melancholy tag

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halothenthehorns · 4 years ago

Text

TLTNL- PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE

Harry knew he was supposed to be reading next, but he was reluctant to take the book from Sirius. He could already feel the bad beginning to the start of his latest school year, and it wasn't comforting he couldn't find much in him promising it would get better before it got worse. Still, with nothing else he could think to do, that yearning still present within him to learn all of his memories and be whole prevailed more than any 'feeling' as he cracked open his start.

Seamus dressed and was storming out the door the next morning before Harry had even found his glasses. He snarked as the hem of his robes vanished that Seamus must fear being around Harry too much will cause him to be a nutter.

"Is this something we should be worried about!" Sirius yelped, already trying to scramble madly away from Harry. "A little warning sooner next time!"

"Too late, everyone in here's already round the bend," Remus snorted.

"I resemble that," James snickered, while Lily wanted to protest but still had yet to deny any claims she hadn't begun dating James with all her sanity intact either so didn't press.

Harry rolled his eyes affectionately at the lot of them, he never grew tired of watching them poke fun at these things.

Dean tried to say he was just, but he trailed off without coming up with anything and so left after his best friend.

"I could never live with such a thing," Sirius gasped.

"Only because you always have to have the last word," Remus rolled his eyes.

"My point exactly," Sirius proved Moony's own point.

Neville and Ron gave Harry, 'it's their own problem,' kind of looks, but Harry wasn't exactly consoled. How much more of this would he have to take?

Lily fidgeted with unease that none of them had an actual answer for him. What she wouldn't give just to know this all had to have a happy ending. What exactly had Harry left in his own time after all? Who's to say this didn't drag on for years to come, he had after all arrived clearly in the heat of some battle...and she both wished and was grateful she couldn't dwell on this more.

Hermione began to ask him what was wrong the moment she saw him, saying he looked- but cutting herself off by saying for heaven's sake!

"What exactly does that look like?" James asked as he eyed Harry.

"Sounded like exasperated, which he probably was already with Seamus' attitude," Lily sighed.

She was staring at the sign the twins had put up last night, only just now reading it and finding it a want add for test subjects to a virtually painless job for a little monetary compensation. Below this was a warning that all applicants undertook this at their own risk.

"Just what are they getting up to?" James demanded at once with an eager grin.

"Sounds to me like they're trying to find further test subjects than themselves," Lily arched a brow with trepidation. Testing it on themselves was one thing, but other people? She did suppose she could see the pro's of it, at least while doing this at school they could rely on Madam Pomfrey to fix any screw ups and it was smart to see if anyone other than themselves would have side effects before mass selling their things like they so intended doing...but still, this just felt wrong no matter the good spin she tried putting on it. Then again, she'd never looked into how most normal magical objects were tested and distributed, that was in fact a section she'd be coming to very soon in her work, so this could be interesting at least.

"I like that they put the warning directly below 'virtually painless," Remus snickered.

"Open honesty at least," Sirius said with absolute chipper.

She stormed over at once to take the sign down,

"Hey!" James yelped in protest at once. "Merlin she's as bad as their mother! Who's she to be doing that."

"A prefect," Remus reminded him like his friend had gone temporarily daft. "That really was stupid of them to just post in the common room like that, I am positive that is somehow against school rules."

Sirius kept going as if Remus hadn't even spoken, "I know, leave them to their own devices, it's not affecting her."

Lily really wondered why Remus bothered at some point, and by the look on his face, so did he.

snapping that they'd have to talk to them about this.

"Who's this they?" Remus did agree with his friends scandalized looks about that. "The sign was stupid on their part, but Hermione really needs to get a grip trying to drag Ron into her problem with the twins."

"I love that Moony always agrees with us," James smirked, while Remus rolled his eyes, and Lily just rubbed her forehead at her idiots.

Ron looked positively alarmed.

"I would to," Harry winced, "I've never even had older brothers, but the idea of telling one off sounds ludicrous. Let alone those particular two."

He demanded why at once, and she snapped they were prefects! It was their duty to stop this kind of thing!

"No," Sirius snorted, "your job is to pretend in front of the teachers to act like you're looking after the first years, and then go about your life like everyone else."

"I think Hermione needs to reread her instruction manual," James agreed.

"They didn't get an instruction manual," Harry frowned in confusion.

"Exactly," Sirius concluded.

Ron said nothing, but Harry could tell he would not be cheering Hermione on when this came up again. They were starting their way down to breakfast now as Hermione turned her attention back to Harry, asking why he'd looked so angry?

Ron explained for him Seamus had called Harry out about You-Know-Who.

"Why didn't you answer?" James said in surprise.

"I was trying to think of how to say everything on my mind, Ron just cut right to the chase," Harry said.

"Sometimes you think too much," Sirius rolled his eyes, he'd never had a problem telling his mates whatever was on his mind.

Hermione, who Harry had expected to react angrily on his behalf, sighed while telling them Lavender had said much the same thing.

"Really?" Lily's tone held full disgust. "One of Trelawney's little pets, who believes every ridiculous thing that comes out of that woman's mouth, has the gall to claim you a liar?"

"Of all the unbelievers in this, you'd think those of Trelawney's type would enjoy the prospect of more death and mayhem to come," James sniffed angrily.

"Think she'll change her tune the second Trelawney says something about it in class?" Remus grumbled.

"That, or she'll start disbelieving the woman," Sirius shrugged, now looking almost curious to see how this could play out.

Harry snapped at her if the two had a nice long chat about him then?

"Oh yes, I'm so sure you come up in between the pillow fights and manicures," Lily frowned at him. "Hermione's never shown to be on good terms with them, cut her some slack."

Harry did look properly chagrined for that, he had felt instantly bad for lashing out at Hermione.

Hermione returned calmly she'd in fact told her dorm mate to shut her mouth, and she'd appreciate it if Harry would quit jumping down her throat before hearing otherwise. Ron and her were on his side.

Harry looked even more glum now that he couldn't properly apologize to his friends like they deserved. He had indeed been taking every moment to rag on them and could properly realize away from the moments they hadn't deserved much of any of it. He owed his friends a lot, and not just for being there while he vented, very vocally.

Harry felt the awkward pause before he apologized.

Lily at least looked happy for the apology, but Harry didn't look any better, still feeling that growing ache more every day to see his friends again, to know that they were okay.

Hermione brushed on after the acknowledgement and instead brought up what Dumbledore had said last year.

Harry and Ron gave her a blank look for trying to remember such a thing while Hermione sighed.

"I feel like that's a very common occurrence we don't get to hear enough of," Sirius snipped to lighten the mood back up, and it worked as Harry rolled his eyes at him again.

Hermione launched into a replication of Dumbledore's words about trust and friendship making them all stronger when they stood together. Ron looked on in admiration how she remembered things like that.

"How does she remember stuff like that verbatim!" Remus went wide eyed in surprise.

"Hermione really is a gem," Lily could only think to answer with pure indulgence.

Hermione's response was just to say she listened, but Ron replied so did he and he couldn't recall word perfect speeches!

Hermione went on loudly over him,

"I really am surprised she didn't take the moment to rub it in," James rolled his eyes.

Harry frowned right back and said, "she doesn't really that much, considering how much smarter than us she is. She was trying to make a point, not let Ron distract her with an argument."

that You-Know-Who had only been back two months and was already causing strife in between their own houses-

Ron cut in to say Harry had said it best last night, no one was going to be getting chummy with Slytherins any time soon.

"We're not talking about Slytherins though, we're talking about people from our own house. Good place to start before moving on," Sirius sighed with some sympathy for what Hermione was saying.

Harry frowned at him in surprise, but then he reflected none of the Marauders had really made it a point to be Slytherin haters other than just the one outstanding student. If Sirius, who'd even had family in the house he was defending, could say such a thing, Harry wished he really had taken some more time at some point to look beyond Malfoy.

Hermione snapped she still thought they should try for some school unity.

Sirius made a face he'd said the exact same thing as Hermione, while James made the exact same face at him for it as well.

They reached the Great Hall, where a group of fourth-year Ravenclaws spotted Harry and huddled closer together while eyeing him, as if fearing he'd attack those on the fringes.

"You mean you don't!" James demanded. "Harry, what on earth do you do with all your free time then?"

Harry couldn't help laughing at their antics again, he couldn't seem to grow tired of watching them make light of this.

Harry sarcastically pointed out he would really be going out of his way to make friends with people like that.

"He's got them both there," Remus murmured in agreement.

They went into the Great Hall themselves, and still the first thing they noticed was Hagrid's absence.

Hermione quietly tried to offer that perhaps Dumbledore hadn't said anything about it was because he was trying not to draw attention to Hagrid being gone.

"That is actually impossible to anyone second year and older," James sighed. None of them had been on more than passing hello's to Hagrid themselves and they would have noticed a thing like this.

The boys didn't get a chance to respond as Angelina made her approach to Harry, asking if he had a good summer, then immediately rushing on before he answered,

Lily was already frowning at this act, it was like Oliver was back again already.

declaring she'd been made Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

James's face puckered with disappointment again. It had obviously not been Harry, nor the twins or he was sure that would have been mentioned, who'd gotten the badge so that had left one of those three girls. Still, he hoped Angelina at least made Harry co-captain or something, he was really hoping his son would get this treat before he left school.

Harry congratulated her at once, thinking to himself at least her pep talks would be more stimulating than Wood's ever had.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically even as he bounced in place for excitement upon hearing of Quidditch again, it had been gone far too long!

Angelina thanked him before moving on to say they needed a new Keeper for the team of course, and practices were at five on Friday. She wanted to be sure the whole team could attend, to see how the new person would mesh.

"That's standard those, isn't it? I don't see why she-"

"Shhh!" James hushed his wife as Harry kept going with definite fondness, that was only a mask, as his hand absently began fidgeting again that still no one noticed as he was holding a lofty book.

Harry agreed at once, causing Angelina to smile at him before she departed. Ron at once said how good it could be to have some new blood on the team.

"You think Ron'll try out!" Sirius yelped with joy.

"He did get a new broom," Remus agreed.

"It's always a thrill to be playing with your friends," James smiled at the thought.

Harry felt the now familiar pain of a memory trying to tell him something for these comments, but he wasn't entirely sure as they seemed very mixed, so he had not a clue if Ron did or not.

Breakfast was in full swing by the time owls arrived, but Harry didn't bother looking for anything, no news could have happened that Sirius would send along in just twenty-four hours.

Sirius still frowned sadly while Harry couldn't see. He wished he was sending his godson daily owls considering the years he'd gone without regular correspondence, if only as a reminder to his pup there was someone out there for him, it didn't always have to be 'new'. It's not like he was doing anything in that old place anyways but moping about, why couldn't he be sending a veritable books worth of letters to Harry full of anything and everythings? 'Probably because it wasn't safe,' a Dumbledore like voice in his head pointed out, and Sirius was quick to stop thinking about that.

Hermione did get her copy of the Daily Prophet, much to Harry's disgust as he asked her about it while she paid her Knut.

James shook his head fondly as he still remembered Harry's first interaction with this and asking what a Knut was. His son had come a long ways.

Harry had unsubscribed his.

Hermione said darkly it was still worthwhile to know what the enemy was saying.

"That's smart, I'll give her," Remus said grudgingly with still plenty of despair.

She continued reading it all through breakfast until McGonagall came around with their class schedules, and Ron at once protested of their Monday! History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and then double Defence Against the Dark Arts!

"I think I just died a little inside!" James yelped in disgust.

The only tiny speck of good Lily could find in that was, "well, least the worst of them should all be gotten out of the way early." When that did nothing to erase anyones disgust, even her own, she also tried, "and we won't have long to wait to hear more about that Umbridge. I'm still confounded of why she's there."

"I'd still be happier pretending none of them exist," Sirius groaned, he didn't need to sit in on that woman's class to even guess she could be any better than that other lot.

All of their worst teachers back to back! The twins had better hurry up with those Skiving Snackboxes, because Ron wanted a years supply.

Said brothers arrived in that moment, gaping in shock at hearing a Hogwarts prefect wanted any such thing as skipping lessons.

"Those ones they do," Remus crinkled his nose in disgust.

"Does anyone else smell a regular three day weekend becoming a habit?" Sirius agreed conversationally.

Ron showed off his schedule, and George instantly agreed that was worth something, then offered him some Nosebleed Nougat cheap.

"Why's it cheap?" Harry heard all four of them mutter suspiciously at once.

Ron at once asked why it was cheap with suspicion.

Harry didn't bother to hide his snicker as he continued.

Fred happily explained that was because you'd keep bleeding until you ran out, they hadn't found an antidote for that one yet.

"So how are they still alive?" Lily asked in genuine concern.

"Just what do they test them on before themselves to know this?" Remus agreed uneasily, as he didn't see the twins being so cruel as to go capturing animals to do this to, so what then?**

Ron had to deliberate for a moment before deciding he'd take the lessons.

"I'm not sure I'd come to the same conclusion," Remus muttered.

Now Hermione turned sharp eyes on them at the mention of those Snackboxes,

"Damn, it's extra worse cause they brought this up themselves," Sirius groaned.

and at once snapped at them they couldn't be finding testers from the Gryffindor noticeboard.

George asked says who, and Hermione said her, and Ron!

Ron at once snapped to leave him out of this.

"She really should have though," James agreed.

"Is it so terrible to ask for backup from him?" Lily asked honestly. She didn't think Hermione should be dragging Ron in either, but now she had, so Ron could at least nod along or something.

"It is if Ron doesn't agree," Remus frowned, "and he's never said anything for or against the twins and how they act, so Hermione shouldn't have been saying anything for Ron."

Fred paid her no mind as he began eating some of his breakfast, saying she'd be begging them for her own soon.

Hermione asked what possible reason she could have for that?

"She should know that answer better than anyone," James groaned in disgust.

"OWL's, and not the friendly bird kind," Sirius huffed.

George stated OWL year of course, they had their examinations at the end of this year. Their nose would be pressed to so many books, they'd be rubbed raw.

"Oh how I wish they were still joking," Remus sighed as he rubbed his nose.

Fred agreed many in their year had breakdowns because of the stress, Patricia Stimpson kept fainting.

"I knew a Patricia Bishop who had the habit of studying under the chairs," Sirius chimed in. "I don't understand how that helped her study, but she was never without her favorite study spot."

George agreed Kenneth Towler had come over with boils,

"Gavin Crowley actually pissed himself right before our Transfiguration one," James snickered in remembrance.

"I thought that was because he'd come running up because he'd thought it was Herbology that hour instead," Remus reminded.

Sirius whistled innocently, no one had ever been sure why the boy could get something so confused, and they never had.

before Fred corrected that was their doing with some Bulbadox powder.

All four boys snorted with mirth while Lily shook her head in exasperation at the lot of them.

George nodded in remembrance now, saying it was hard to keep track sometimes.

Remus opened his mouth, winced and shut it, but then realized Harry had seen anyways so managed to say, "our list was made once, extensively, as an end of year project for us. I hope the twins get to reminisce as well one last time." He finished by stammering just a bit, and Harry kept going a bit more loudly to try and erase the awkward moment for them even if he did truly appreciate how much they continued trying to tell him things about their past even when they involved that person.

Then George got back on track saying how much of a nightmare fifth year was.

"Seventh's still worse," Sirius forced out in an attempt to change the subject as well.

"My favorite year though," James stated with a dreamy look at his wife, at least momentarily erasing his own dark thoughts with her flaming red hair. Lily simply gave him an affectionate smile back.

At least, if you cared about results.

Ron recalled they hadn't, having only gotten three OWLs each.

Neither was concerned, saying their future lay outside academic achievements.

"Well they don't really need them, running their own store," James chuckled.

"I don't understand why," Lily was frowning at the number. "They're clearly smart, why so few."

"Clearly it was because they only looked for what they needed, and didn't try to learn every stupid trivial thing we were supposed to be learning," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I envy them," Remus agreed.

They had seriously debated even coming back for their last year,

"How would they know what I was thinking?" Sirius asked innocently, while Remus snorted and muttered, "doesn't take a genius to know something you were saying since your first year."

since they now had- but George stopped talking abruptly at a warning look from Harry. George had been fixing to mention the Triwizard winnings Harry had given them.

"They're not that stupid," James rolled his eyes, "they'd know better than to be saying that in front of Ron and Hermione."

"Who knows, maybe they thought Harry had told them," Sirius shrugged.

So George hastily finished now that they had their OWL results.

"That was true of their sixth year though," Remus sighed in disappointment. "I really would have hoped they were better on the spot liars."

"Yes, but even running their own business, it would still give them just a little bit better of an edge to have completed school," Lily reasoned what she was sure the twins were doing.

Harry gave a laugh, and honestly had no clue why.

Fred agreed they had no need for their NEWTs, but they didn't think their Mum could stand them leaving school after what Percy had done.

"A travesty that still no one saw coming," Sirius said in disgust.

So they were going to spend this year doing marketing research.

"That's brilliant," James chuckled.

"Though they seem to have found already that simply making your own needs supplies their demand for others," Sirius snickered.

Hermione asked where they even planned on getting the gold for their ideas.

"Uhoh," all four of them muttered while Harry started flushing in embarrassment.

Harry did not look at the twins. His face felt hot,

"As subtle as ever my boy," James snorted.

he deliberately dropped his fork and dived down to retrieve it.

"No, no," Sirius looked appraisingly at Harry, "try fainting, it's much more dramatic and puts you out of the conversation just as well."

Harry gave him a hard nudge and tried to ignore his still flushed face as he kept going.

He heard Fred tell ask no more questions and she'll get no lies.

"And what is to stop them just lying, or not answering at all?" Remus snorted at such a departure.

"I guess they were worried Hermione would see through it, so they decided to be vague instead," James was still laughing.

Then the two left, but Ron and Hermione were still staring in confusion at each other as they tried to understand this. Ron even saying how they seemed to talk like they had this money, they'd bought him those dress robes over the summer but had never given any information about it.

Harry tried to hop topics from this dangerous subject by asking if this year really would be the worst yet.

"Subtle as drowning someone in your own cauldron," James still hadn't stopped giggling excessively.

"What?" Harry tried to defend, "it had just come up!"

"Don't even try Harry, you won't do any better in here," Lily smiled as the boys kept their shoulders shaking at his attempts.

Ron was easily distracted, saying how his brothers always went on about how important this year was, it defined the job you could apply for and everything.

"That's not entirely accurate, though it is the standard," Lily sighed.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked at once as what he found was a real change of subject.

Lily happily explained over the boys grumbling he'd find this out for himself later, "if you hadn't taken the classes you can still take the exams at the end of the year, but you have to do solitary study of three years of material all on your own. That way you're not entirely deprived of the job you want, but Merlin do you have to work extra hard for it."

"Hence earlier complaints of when this career advice happens," Sirius sighed.

They got career advice this year on all this at least. Harry asked what his two friends wanted to do when they left school, and Ron said he still nurtured the idea of being an Auror.

"I'm sure all boys think that at some time in their life," James said fondly, he was only just now growing shaky on his own idea of one.

Harry agreed at once, while Hermione kept herself vague, saying she'd like to do something worthwhile.

"Just what does she think of as worthwhile?" Lily asked with honest curiosity.

"I'm guessing something to do with politics, her and her views on everything," James said with only a touch of sarcasm that time.

Harry defended Aurors were worthwhile, and while Hermione agreed, they weren't the only worthwhile job. She even began speculating if she could go farther with SPEW...

James nodded as if his point had just been made.

Harry and Ron went back to their breakfast at once to try and ignore her, being successful until they made it to History of Magic, by common consent the most boring subject of wizardkind.

"Only because of the most boring teacher to have ever lived, and unlived!" Sirius groaned.

Professor Cuthbert Binns was the ghost teacher with a voice that had the effect to put anyone to sleep under any condition, let alone reading in a monotone over his notes. Harry and Ron had only scraped by so far by copying Hermione's notes when she was in a good mood, as she alone seemed the only person to resist the allure of sleep and kept dutiful notes as always.

"A truly magical talent in itself I've yet seen replicated," Remus smiled.

Today was no different, as Harry heard just enough of the giant wars to think this could have actually been interesting in another person's hands,

"Everyone thinks that at least a dozen times during their school life," Sirius agreed.

before his brain disengaged and he ended up playing hangman with Ron all class.

"Who won?" James asked.

"Ron, nine out of ten games," Harry sighed. "He kept using names of chess strategies and really stumping me."

Hermione shot them filthy looks out of the corner of her eye.

"You'd think she'd be used to it by now," Lily giggled.

As class ended, she snapped at them how they'd feel if she deprived them of her notes this year altogether.

Sirius gave a wild gasp at once, nearly screeching in Harry's ear, "is she mad!"

Harry managed to push him away in time to save his ear drum as the man kept going, "the only reason anyone survives that class is because of the few dedicated students who take the time to self study and share their own notes instead of listening to Binns at all! Hermione could be doing a real undermining of the schools system to be refusing to help this trend!"

"I'm sure some Ravenclaws would pin her down and steal them if it came to that," Remus reassured with backlit eyes.

Lily noticed, opened her mouth to ask, but Harry was trying to keep going while his hearing was still intact.

Ron at once snapped they'd fail their OWLs because of that, could she live with that on her conscience?

"Ah guilt trips, always a saving grace," James nodded.

She still said they deserved it, asking if they even tried?

"We did at first," Harry defended half heartedly.

"Though I'm positive that ended before you and Hermione even became friends," Sirius snorted, to which Harry didn't bother denying, more like it had ended in the first week.

Ron said they did to, they just didn't have her cleverness to keep up with him, go on and rub that in.

"I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said to her," Remus chuckled.

Hermione called that rubbish, though she looked more mollified as they went out into the courtyard for a short break.

"Compliments will get you everywhere," Sirius agreed wisely.

It was drizzling, so though most of the areas were crowded in a huddle under the school ledges and such, the three found a tree they could find some solitary under while discussing how horrid Snape was going to be on their first day. They got as far as agreeing it would be an extremely tricky potion to trip them up so soon back,

"I'm sure no one was arguing that point," James huffed.

when Cho Chang arrived, alone.

Lily's face brightened as much as Harry's for this happening again, though for an entirely different reason as she adored hearing about Harry's first crush. The boys just couldn't seem to find a reason to stop their laughing this chapter, and weren't trying very hard.

This was most unusual for her, especially twice in a row, as Harry remembered the agony of always spotting her around her friends last year during the Yule Ball lead up.

"Agony is surely the wrong word," Remus tried to say with a straight face.

"More like spectacle," Sirius didn't even bother as he finished.

Harry said hi at once, being mentally grateful he at least wasn't covered in Stinksap this time.

"There's the bright side!" James chipped in.

Cho was clearly thinking the same thing as she mentioned he'd got that stuff off.

"Did she expect him to live in it?" Sirius asked while Harry managed to nudge him even harder, trying to read as fast as possible now.

Harry stuttered out a yeah, forcing a grin like that had somehow been funny instead of mortifying, and tried to ask how her summer had gone.

"That's good, start casual," Sirius nodded, while Harry was now eyeing a pillow with deep contemplation as he forced himself to get through this.

He regretted the moment the words were out, as Cho had spent much of last year being Cedric's boyfriend, which meant her personal attachment to him had probably made her summer holidays as good as Harry's.

Then they all winced as that hadn't explicitly crossed their mind, but at least Harry's face returned to normal color as the boys stopped smirking for a moment.

Her face tightened as she began it was all right, but was saved from saying anything else by Ron asking if that was a Tornado's badge she was wearing?

"There's Ron, always managing to break awkward silence," Remus approved around James already snorting again.

Cho agreed it was, and Ron asked when? Since they started winning?

"Merlin, least my friends weren't this bad," James winced on Harry's part for Ron's poor choice there.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily rolled her eyes, "your friends are just as bad as you were." Remus and Sirius didn't even bother to pretend to be offended. Though she finished with pitying eyes on Harry, "but Ron really isn't helping there."

Cho gave him the lofty answer she'd had this since she was six, then turned back to Harry and said she'd see him around. Harry watched her walk away while contemplating throwing himself in the lake while Hermione rounded on Ron, calling him tactless.

"Least someone there has an idea of what's going on," Remus giggled.

Ron defended himself he was sick of people always just jumping teams to whoever was winning at the time,

"I do believe that though," Sirius nodded, happily switching topics to Quidditch much to Harry's relief.

it didn't make them real fans, but while Hermione snapped back that wasn't the point, Harry had to cut in over their bickering for the bell.

"Now there's an accomplishment," James laughed.

They didn't stop sniping at each other all the way down to Potions, leaving Harry free to wonder if he'd ever have a proper conversation with Cho that didn't end with him wanting to leave the country.

"I really don't see that one as being so bad," Remus said fairly.

"That's because we have comparisons of Prongs many worse times," Sirius reminded. "In most kids cases, that really wasn't the best."

"And what do you know about that?" Lily snorted, "you don't fall under anything resembling usual."

Sirius opened his mouth to retaliate while Harry cut them both off, he'd had enough practice.

It was of some comfort though, that was twice now she'd sought him out.

"There's the bright side," Remus nodded eagerly.

"More than Lily ever did," James said with a tragic look at his wife.

"Trust me Potter, you would not have enjoyed the reasons at those times I was getting you alone," Lily tried to say in a threatening voice, but everyone turned away when it came out too flirtatious so they wouldn't have to see James' face.

She'd been Cedric's girlfriend, so she could have every reason to hate him, that he'd come out alive. Yet she had definitely been looking in on him those past two times, with nothing resembling hostile...

"Hadn't even crossed my mind she'd think that," Sirius frowned at the idea. "You think too much."

"So you keep saying," Harry muttered, wishing his thoughts would be displayed a little less at least on this topic.

"At least your reasoning is sound," Remus said happily, "so I do agree, I think she's got a thing for you back."

"Yeah?" Harry asked with honest hope. The idea was certainly lingering in his mind, he just knew his crush on Cho had to go somewhere this year, but it really was only mild interest. For some reason as he gave a glance at his ring, nothing was sticking...

Remus didn't want to get his hopes up too much in case he was wrong as he gave a simple, "sure," as response, but Harry seemed happy enough as he kept going, even onto Snape's class.

Harry was almost in a good mood by the time the dungeon door swung close behind them.

"And that's really saying something," James snorted.

They sat in the back as usual, Harry able to perfectly ignore Ron and Hermione's huffs of irritation lingering.

"I think that's their version of flirting," Sirius muttered as he eyed the couple who were now holding hands.

Snape called for attention, which was entirely unnecessary as silence had wrung the moment he entered.

"I am convinced that's because they're all transfixed by the proportions of his nose regarding the rest of his face," Remus muttered under his breath, causing Sirius to snort.

Snape prowled to the front and began with a lecture on the coming OWLs. He had no hopes that everyone in here would earn an Acceptable, but those who failed in at least this task would suffer his wrath.

"Ooh, so scary," James rolled his eyes, while Lily gained a fresh scowl for the new threats against these children.

His gaze lingered on Neville, who gulped.

"Nice to change things up a bit," Harry muttered with disgust.

He warned that he took nothing less than an O for his future NEWT students, so this could very well be his final year with many of them.

"I have never wanted Harry to fail an exam more than I do right now," Sirius said at once.

Lily worked furiously, but couldn't even find it in herself to argue. James was the only one who felt disappointment for the statement, as he knew full well Harry would need that OWL to get into Auror training...two more years of Snape in one hand or his son's future in the other, it really was a nasty toss up.

His eyes rested hatefully on Harry, who had a moment to realize this was the last year he'd have to see Snape's face on a regular basis.

Snape kept going, saying they had a year before those happy farewells,

"What I just heard is, I don't have to care about this class for a whole year because there's no way in Merlin I'll be passing it anyways," Remus muttered while Sirius started snickering again, the back of his mind already waiting to hear Slughorn calling him out any second for these flashbacks he could appreciate.

so for now they still had work to do. He flicked his wand to the blackboard, where a potion's ingredients and instructions were put up for the Draught of Peace, an elixir that was supposed to calm anxiety and soothe agitation, though if brewed wrong, could cause one to fall into an irreversible sleep.

Lily smiled sadly to herself, thinking back to the end of their fourth year and how their fights had grown so bad over the years that by this point Potions was the only safe ground they had left. They'd discovered this one while doing a little pre studying for next year and had a fun conversation about how Muggleborns must have heard of this one at some point and how it wound up featuring in some of their fairy tales. Severus had made a few jokes about the ridiculousness of their so called cure for this...and now she just wanted to walk away for a moment and again feel the loss of that friend who was never coming back.

On Harry's left, Hermione sat up a little straighter, her expression one of utmost attention.

"She still does that eh?" James asked with mild disgust. "She does know by now there is no winning that man's approval, I know I tried all my life and-" he stopped as Lily released his hand to smack his head.

They set to work, and with ten minutes left too class, Hermione's attention was the only one who had paid off as Snape began sweeping around to see their work. Harry's smoke was coming out grey instead of the silver it should have been, while Ron's was shooting green sparks. Snape passed by her's without comment,

"A first for him I'm sure," Sirius rolled his eyes, wondering how much Snape loathed Hermione more than Harry for being so good when she was a Muggleborn.

to pause at Harry's cauldron with a horrible smirk.

"Ah the disgusting face of triumph I've had seared into my brain," Remus rolled his eyes.

He demanded of Potter what this was supposed to be?

"Butterbeer," Sirius launched at once as if he'd practiced by heart. "I'm thinking of starting my own brewery, and I'm naming it after you, Aarsehole Ale."***

"I would not drink that on a dare," James told him with a straight face.

"But it has some real potential for future carnage if bottled correctly," Remus concluded.

The Slytherins turned at once to watch the show.

No one in here could claim surprise even if they were all sick of hearing about this.

Harry tersely said the name of his attempted potion, before Snape returned if Potter could read?

"When it suits me," James clearly thought he was being smart.

Harry just glared as an answer as Snape told Potter to read the third line of the instructions given. Harry did in fact reread them, and felt his stomach drop as he realized he'd missed an ingredient he had not spotted from his spot in the back row through the haze of mist around him.

Harry muttered something about his hatred of such a stupid detail ruining his whole potion, while Lily was muttering something very similar about his horrid teaching methods. As if he'd never blown a potion in his face the first time he'd tried something new.

Snape prompted when Harry didn't answer if he'd done everything that was on that third line.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus found it genuinely fascinating Snape had known exactly what was wrong with the potion in such complicated steps.

Harry curtly replied no. Snape concluded in triumph then that made this mess worthless, using the spell Evanesce.

Lily's face was quickly flushing red with heated anger all over again at him utterly ruining Harry's attempt like this, what she wouldn't give to whack him upside the head with his own potion book for starters.

The boys were more unfazed by something they'd lived with through their whole childhood, even if they were itching to throw a curse or two at old Snivellus picking on one of theirs again.

Harry's potion vanished at once, leaving him with nothing to turn in for the day, while everyone else was ladling out their attempts for an actual grade. Dean's smelt of rotten eggs, and Neville was having to chip his out as it had managed the density of concrete.

"Yes, but neither of them are named Potter," James seethed with Harry.

Yet it was Harry who would be receiving zero marks for the day's work.

"I am surprised I detect a hint of caring," Sirius spotted.

"I don't actually like failing, even his classes," Harry grumbled, though his ire was less so than it had been in the moment, as he was starting to get the feeling this was by far not the worst thing to happen to him today, and that was somehow not leaving a good feeling.

Harry stormed out of class and his friends caught up to him with sympathy, Hermione pointing out Goyle's had exploded at some point and set himself on fire, Harry's was at least better than that.

"I accept this as the irony Snape deserved with lesser pleasure," Remus sighed.

Harry seethed down at his lunch that had never stopped Snape being fair before. Neither answered now, all three were aware Snape and Harry's mutual enmity had been set in stone the moment he came to this school.

"Which is at its most low of that man," Lily was still muttering threats under her breath, this wasn't coming out much more audibly. "Treating you like this when you've done nothing to him, just because of how his father acted, they are two people dammit."

Hermione almost sounded disappointed as she said she'd expected better of him this year, being in the Order and all.

"Oh such sweet delusions I never bothered indulging while I had the chance," Sirius sighed.

"Her optimism really is adorable sometimes," Remus groaned.

Ron rolled his eyes, saying poisonous toadstools didn't change their spots. He even wondered just what Dumbledore had on Snape to trust him, where was the proof he wasn't really working for You-Know-Who?

"In my doubts that you'll ever get it, I still won't swallow it then," Sirius sniffed.

Hermione said Dumbledore must have a very good reason even if it wasn't being shared with Ron.

"It would still be nice if he shared it, show why he trusted him, not even in detail, just-" Remus cut himself off with a sigh that most likely they wouldn't be getting any of this.

Before Ron had a chance to snap back, Harry snapped at the two to shut up!

That caught the others off guard as Lily said with a bit of rebuke, "Harry-"

"It was their third argument, that morning!" Harry defended, albeit more lackluster than when he'd snapped at his friends in person. "And just after Snape, I have limits."

"Sounded like you were used to it though," Remus sounded more puzzled than anything.

"You've had a bit of a short fuse lately with everyone," James agreed, "but mostly it's been coming off on them."

Harry had nothing to say to any of them, because he knew they were right. There was a terrible swirling feeling building in the back of his mind, and the moment he acknowledged how long it had been there it almost overwhelmed him right then. It took all of the self control he'd been having to learn so far not to let the memory sweep him whole, but something of all these bad feelings really was leading him to a very dark idea that involved this year... he was cut free of his thoughts by the words on the page thankfully grabbing his attention then, saving him from having to come up with a proper response.

Hermione and Ron looked offended at Harry's attitude as he kept going at the pair of them always having a go at each other! He left without another word, still mentally raging about how their constant bickering would drive anyone up a wall.

"I can see that," Remus said fairly, "though no matter how unpractical now, I'd suggest in future just walking away and letting them have it out."

"I usually do," Harry sighed, before perking up slightly and adding on for fun, "one time I timed it and they hadn't noticed I'd left for almost the whole weekend...though now I'm thinking I should have been offended by that rather than laughing it off with Neville," he finished still with a goofy smile in place.

"How long after the Yule Ball was this?" Lily asked, only just suppressing her own laughter.

"The next weekend," he didn't seem to understand her implied tone as he shrugged and moved on.

He made his way up to Divination alone, passing by Sir Cadogan but ignoring his usual attempts to start a fight from inside his painting. Thankfully he was distracted quickly by running into a wolfhound.

"A daunting challenge for the man, it should keep him busy for five whole minutes," James chuckled.

Harry spent the rest of his lunch alone at the base of the North Tower and was consequently the first to arrive into Trelawney's classroom.

"Harry, adding more torture to your life does not make anything easier," Lily groaned.

"Don't know what you're talking about Lily, this is usually a hoot," Sirius was already grinning in anticipation for the remarks to come.

Thankfully the teacher was going around and setting books on tables so missed Harry's arrival, leaving him free to wander to a shadowy corner that already had a book on it and be ignored for a few moments longer until Ron arrived. He had to look around carefully to find him, and had to wade around several chairs and pouffes to reach Harry.

"He didn't jump a few?" James demanded. "What do you lot do with your life?"

"Clearly nothing as spectacular as you," Harry chuckled.

He took a seat and immediately began to say he and Hermione had stopped arguing,

"For twenty minutes, or seconds?" Sirius asked.

"Certainly at least that hour, as she's not there," Remus shrugged.

"Unless he's still arguing with her in his head," James grinned.

but Hermione wanted the message passed along for Harry to stop taking his temper out on them.

"Thought that's what friends were for?" Remus demanded.

"That's certainly what Ron and Hermione seem to use each other for," Lily seemed to agree.

Harry tried to protest, but Ron said he was just the messenger, though he did agree it wasn't their fault how Seamus and Snape treated him.

"Well it's not as if he can say that to them," James sighed.

"Snape no, but I've got a few things Seamus could find, it's all the better they share the dorm, though that does limit some of the-"

Sirius was forced to cut off by Harry falling victim to Lily's begging eyes for him to keep going.

Harry didn't get a chance to reply to that as Trelawney began in her usual mystic voice, leaving Harry to dwell in still more annoyance, and some shame.

"Says something about your character you can feel both at once at least," Remus snorted lightly.

The Professor was continuing by saying how delighted she was to see them all back in person, as she knew they would.

James was already making pointed yawning noises.

She moved on into the lesson, saying their texts for this year were provided for them, and they'd be focusing on dreams. This was a common theme in OWLs, and while she did not believe in examinations to gage the uses of the Seeing Eye, the Headmaster insists upon setting such things.

"I do so love it when the teachers talk about how stupid the exams are," Sirius chuckled.

Her voice trailed off suggestively, leaving no one in doubts she found her subject above such things as common examinations.

"Not so much when she finishes on a high horse," Lily sniffed.

She instructed them to read the opening chapter on interpreting dreams, and then discuss with their partner what they could devine. Thankfully not being a double period, by the time they'd read their chapter they only had ten minutes to talk about dreams. In the table over, Neville at once launched into his most recent of a pair of scissors wearing his grandmother's hat had chased him around.

"I'm sure that has some deep meaning interpretations-" Remus began lightly.

"About scissors out to kill the world and his grandmother the supreme ruler of hats, yeah, I can see that happening any day now," James agreed.

Harry and Ron went back and forth for a moment of who would share the dream, Ron losing and finally saying he'd had some kind of dream about Quidditch last night, asking what deep meaning that supposedly held.

Harry's response was probably something involving marshmallows eating him.

Causing four collective snorts of laughter, James recovering from his laugh at once to demand, "just what the bloody hell is in that book of yours for desserts to be coming after you?"

"Oh, because scissors and grandmothers is so much better," Harry reminded.

It was very dull, looking up insignificant moments of your unconsciousness, and it did not help Trelawney's homework for them was to set up a month long dream diary.

"That's as easy as the last assignment I've heard," Remus chuckled. "In fact all I've heard from this class is make stuff up."

"I don't exactly have a wide imagination," Harry sighed, "I run out very fast and then get frustrated, while I know she must know I reuse a few things about dying. Probably why I've never gone far in that class."

"Yes, that's why, not because she wouldn't bother putting an interest in someone she has slated to die," Sirius cackled.

As the bell rung, Ron was already going off about the amount of homework they'd been set. Binns had given them a foot and a half essay over those giant wars, Snape had set them another foot over moonstones, now this!

"Ah the never ending complaint of homework," Remus nodded in agreement.

Fred and George really hadn't been kidding. He really hoped that Umbridge woman wouldn't set anything.

"If Moony wasn't above giving homework than no one is," James sniffed.

Remus gave him a wounded look as he demanded, "are you saying if she doesn't, I'll be replaced?"

"I'd fight for you," Sirius gave him a mock pat on the shoulder, "I'll take your lame essays over that pink cardigan any day."

They entered to find the woman looked even more like a toad squatting over her desk.

All three boys continued laughing at Harry's constant description of that, it really didn't grow old with how much sarcasm Harry infused into saying this.

They all remained quiet as they watched her and took their seats, not yet knowing what kind of disciplinarian she was.

Harry was starting to fidget uneasily though. He'd just had all of his least favorite classes back to back, and still this one felt the most foreboding of all.

She greeted them with a lively good afternoon, and received the standard mutters return.

She tutted them, saying that was not a proper greeting at all. When she addressed them, they were to reply with a resound good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.

Sirius was crinkling his nose in disgust at once as he demanded, "I really want to know which primary school sucked the life out of her! That's degrading to the first years, let alone this nonsense!"

Lily had some instinct to scold about proper manners, but stopped herself because Harry was really starting to worry her. He sounded more hostile to this woman he'd yet to have a conversation with than he had in all his times speaking of Snape.

She repeated her good afternoon to the class, whom this time responded with her desired greeting back.

"Not one of you got creative with that?" James pouted at such poor showmanship.

"Probably got lost on where to begin," Remus offered. "Such as, good morning Um, oh what was it again? Or even hem, hem, sorry had to clear my throat before I could get that out, there seems to be a frog stuck in there, or how about-"

"Remus!" Lily finally cut in loud enough over the laughing boys, at least trying to hid her own smile while he batted his eyes innocently.

She smiled with pleasure as she instructed them to put their wands away and get out their quills. There was a shuffle of glum as this order was followed, as wands away had never yet been met with anything interesting.

"True, but that follows in most classes," Sirius sighed.

Once desks were cleared except their parchment, she waved her wand to the board where words appeared:

Defence Against the Dark Arts A Return to Basic Principles

Harry stopped, mouthed the words again, and felt his bad feelings ratcheting up all over again.

Everyone else looked just as properly disgruntled for that statement, Remus muttering, "really, the teaching there has been inconsistent, but please tell me she's not going to be doing this for all students, especially the NEWT ones."

Harry could find nothing in him to argue saying otherwise.

She began by saying how disrupted this class had been with such constantly changing teachers, many of whom were not Ministry approved, therefore they were all far below the standard of OWL students.

"I think I'd already take Lockhart over this," James huffed.

"Speak for yourself," Remus grumbled. He had a predisposition to dislike her as well thanks to Harry, but nothing could be worse than that moron, right?

Therefore, this class would be handled with a structured, theory centered Ministry approved defensive magic. She commanded they copy down the following Course Aims: Insert the three course aims.

Lily's face was puckering with concern as she asked, "really, not that any of that is strictly a bad thing to be teaching them, but that was it?"

"Hopefully she'll adjust those in the fortnight, it shouldn't even take them that long to drag through something so tedious," James offered.

When everyone had finished that, she asked if everyone had their assigned books. There was another mutter and a few held their books up in answer, and she tutted at them again.

"Argh," Sirius snarled outright this time. "She's really going to insist upon that for every question. Even we'll start to run out of alterations for that stupidity."

"Best to start storing them up and only dishing them out when they're really needed," Remus agreed.

When they were asked a question, they were to respond with yes, Professor Umbridge, or no, Professor Umbridge. She repeated the question, and again got her desired answer.

She then asked them to begin reading chapter one, there was no need to talk.

Harry flipped to the beginning, but could not concentrate on it for a single moment it was as dull as Binns reading.

"I digress," James winced in horror, "even Lockhart had the decency to read them himself and keep up the stupid show, I'm sure that made it go by faster than self inflicting this dribble."

After several moments Harry realized he wasn't the only one not focusing on his work, Ron was fidgeting with a quill and not even bothering to gaze at the text but staring off into space, and Hermione had not even flipped open her copy.

That gave everyone in here a nice jolt of surprise. They'd yet to recall a moment where Hermione had directly disobeyed a teacher like this. Harry certainly found his interest spiraling back up even if it didn't erase his bad feelings for how this was going to end.

She was staring fixedly at Professor Umbridge with her hand in the air. Harry could not remember Hermione ever neglecting to read when instructed to, or indeed resisting the temptation to open any book that came under her nose.

"Well that part's not so surprising, I wouldn't even be surprised if she's read it already like all her others," Remus rolled his eyes.

"She must have some limit," James balked. "Even something as dull as that must stop her."

Soon the majority of the class was now watching Hermione's silent attempts to get their teacher's attention in far more fascination than the text.

"That is really saying something, one silence is beating out another," Sirius chuckled.

As Umbridge seemed to realize she could ignore this no longer, she finally called and had to ask for Hermione Granger's name, and Hermione asked about the course aims.

Umbridge was not impressed, saying if she read them carefully they were perfectly clear.

"Well if that isn't a bit pompous," Lily shook her head at that.

Hermione bluntly said back not at all, as they said nothing of using defensive spells.

They all shifted uncomfortably in their seat. They'd noticed this of course, but had been hoping it just hadn't come up quite yet...

There was a heavy beat of silence as all the students reread this for themselves, while Umbridge gave a trilling laugh why would they need any such thing?

"Ah, practice," Remus pointed out in a clearly 'duh' tone.

"Can we do some on her," Sirius was already muttering. Not a good sign if he was already initiating threats on this woman Lily noted, but she also just couldn't bring herself to rebuke him either, she'd been in this class for just a few minutes and was already grating on their nerves.

Surely they weren't expecting to be attacked during class?

Harry gave an awkward laugh for remembering a few instances of being attacked at places he never would have thought possible.

Ron burst out in protest they weren't going to be doing magic in here?!

She snipped at once for his hand before turning away dismissively as both Harry and Hermione did the same. She instead called back on Hermione, who asked the whole point of class was to learn and practice defensive spells.

Umbridge's tone was coming out more falsely sweet by the moment as she said that Hermione had no qualification to be saying what the whole point of any class was. Wizards much older and cleverer than her had devised this program.

All five of them gave a raised brow for that. At some point none of them would even be surprised if Hermione decided to teach the class, it would make more sense than half the choices they'd heard of so far.

They would be learning in a risk-free way-

Harry cut her off to point out being attacked wasn't risk free-

but she cut him off to say his hand!

Harry kept his first thrusted in the air.

"I thought it said you already had your hand raised," James reminded, his face somewhere between wanting to mock this situation and already realizing this was getting bad, fast.

"I put it down when I started talking," Harry muttered.

She turned away from him though, and instead called on Dean who finished Harry's point.

Umbridge gave a simpering smile at him as she asked who he expected to attack him in class?

"You're supposed to be trained inside so you expect it outside," Remus genuinely looked confused at trying to explain this, he'd never thought he'd have to, to a teacher of this subject!

"Is she actually arguing the point, saying she won't!" Lily demanded.

"I, she can't be that dense," James tried to deny, but at the bleak look on Harry's face saying his mother was right on the money, they all fell into a confounded silence as it really hit them just what Harry had been stuck with this year. Even their plethora of inept teachers sprinkled in with the few good ones had never gotten this bad!

When Dean tried to say something else, she turned and addressed the class plainly now. They had been exposed to very irresponsible wizards in this class, not to mention even a half-breed.

Remus couldn't even pretend to block out the sound of the, underserved in his opinion, protest around him since Harry was so vocally agreeing. He just wished they wouldn't as it wouldn't do any good. Thankfully as the woman wasn't present and all they could do was shout angrily about this, it didn't last too long, but there was no longer any doubt in anyone's mind. This woman had surpassed Lockhart already as worst teacher, and was right up there with insane Jr. as far as wanting to be kept around.

Dean tried to protest angrily that if she was referring to Professor Lupin, he was the best-

Remus had lost a couple of shades in fear of realizing he was so well known to the Ministry, never something a werewolf should be encouraged to do, but even such a comment as this managed to make him feel just slightly better. The kids had still thought he'd been better than Moody?

She interrupted him by pressing on that they had been frightened into believing they would be attacked any day now,

"Well, I mean, at some point they're not wrong," Harry muttered.

and the spells performed in here were often above their age and even illegal.

"And it happened to save a very important life, so this transgression was overlooked," James huffed, not particularly fond of defending the madman who'd tried to do his son in, or one of them at least, but that still felt better than agreeing with anything this woman had said.

Dean hotly pointed out even being a maniac they'd still learned loads.

Sirius literally applauded his logic, and no one could think of a good reason to stop him for a moment.

Umbridge finally snapped at him as well his hand was no longer up, before continuing the Ministry held the belief that a theoretical knowledge would be sufficient for them to pass their examinations and get through school, that is what school was all about.

"Oh yes, because after school you're just supposed to be a mindless drone to the Ministry apparently," James crinkled his nose in disgust.

Parvati took the chance and raised her hand next, being called on to ask that there was a practical bit to their DADA OWL. They'd have to use the spells then.

Umbridge dismissively pressed her point so long as they learned the theory, they could manage under the controlled monitor of the test.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Lily yipped. "In whose right mind do you expect anyone to learn without hands on practice at some level?"

"Clearly this one is as off the wagon as Jr., but in a completely different way," Sirius felt repulsed at the idea as he rounded on Harry, "just how do you manage to get two insane people back to back?"

Harry was muttering something about how it didn't quite end any time soon, but chose not to really reply.

Parvati was incredulous the first time they'd use those spells was the actual test!

Harry finally shouted out what good was theory in the real world?

Umbridge finally looked at him and softly reminded this was school, not the real world.

"So they're not supposed to be prepared at all?!" James snarled at the same time Harry had kept going.

Harry rebutted they weren't supposed to be prepared for what was out there?

Lily gave a soft breath of laughter like the others for the comparison as the two smiled at each other, but it didn't quite erase how empty it always made her feel to see her boy already having to conform to any kind of war like mind. No, he shouldn't have to be prepared for what was out there, because she kept hoping there wouldn't be anything out there. No matter how naïve, she'd always wish for that.

Umbridge pressed there was nothing out there, who would want to hurt children?

Harry snapped at once Lord Voldemort.

All four of them shivered, though not for the same reason as Harry's classmates had just done. The idea of Voldemort inside their school, actually attacking their own classmates at the time had filled them with dread in their final year. Now Harry was having to experience the idea, two years earlier...

Ron gasped, Lavender Brown uttered a little scream, and Neville slipped sideways off his stool. Professor Umbridge, however, did not flinch.

"I'm confident it's more to do with her lack of a brain than any actual imbedded fear like the rest," Remus muttered.

She was instead glaring at Harry as she took ten points from Gryffindor and then turned to address the class again, speaking very clearly that they had all been told a Dark wizard had returned from the dead-

here interrupted by Harry shouted he hadn't been dead, but yes he was returned.

"I don't think arguing technicalities will help you right now," Lily shook her head softly even as she was watching the book intently, on tenterhooks to throw something at this woman for her son even if he was doing a superb job defending himself.

Umbridge cut him off by going on in an even more sugary voice that there was no Dark wizard. This was a lie.

Harry shouted back no it was not! He fought him!

Harry did not want to look back up at them as he said this with just as much force as he had to Umbridge. He did not want to again see the mingled fear and pride on them for this having been true. It helped to keep his eyes focused on the pages as he truly encountered his first person who was flat out calling him a liar, that wasn't just some other student. This was someone who worked for the Ministry, the government he should have been relying on to help him get people to understand this, not some woman who continued addressing him as if a naughty child about the worst experience of his life.

Umbridge set him a detention for the outburst.

No one could ignore it this time, Harry's right hand shook so hard the book nearly fell from his grip, the ghost of a burning sensation crossing those faded white words more intensely than ever before. Harry steadied himself though, and just looked on in confusion for a moment before forcing himself to ignore the moment. Whatever that odd marking of his was, it was clearly fixing to be revealed, but he just couldn't imagine in what conjuncture to this any more than the others.

She set it for tomorrow in her office, before going back even more forcefully the Ministry of Magic guaranteed this was not true!

"Because that makes it all better," Sirius' blistering tone was coming out more dangerous the more sugary Umbridge's tone had gone. Harry was already sure he would love to have put them in a quiet room together at some point, though it wouldn't have remained quiet long.

If anyone continued to fear this, please come speak to her. Now would they all please kindly return to their assigned reading.

Umbridge sat back down, while Harry stood up.

Remus drew the simple letter o out in honest anticipation to see how far Harry was going to go with this woman.

Everyone was staring at him, Seamus looked half-scared, half-fascinated.

"I would have taken anything over 'defensive of Umbridge,' so," Lily's nod came out in a jerky movement of some kind of agreement to this.

Hermione tried to stop him, but he took no heed of her as he demanded that Cedric Diggory had dropped dead of his own accord then, while ignoring his shaking voice.

James flinched at the intensity of Harry's tone, even as he sat forward in his seat, an ugly look set in place to hear the government disgrace away this death.

There was a collective gasp as if Harry had just spoken Voldemort's name again. No one had heard Harry speak of this except Ron and Hermione.

Umbridge returned in a flat, cold voice that Diggory's death had been a tragic accident.

Harry's voice snapped colder than any cracking whip as he forced himself to read out that lie. Though it truly was of some comfort to him he could feel the anger bleeding from those around him, the support and backup he could feel that hadn't been lacking from his friends per say, but they'd been sitting in more stunned silence than anything.

Harry shouted back it was murder, Voldemort had done it!

Umbridge's face went impassive then, her voice taking up its sweet, girly tone again as she called for him to come up front.

Harry did so with a violent kick to his chair first, so angry he did not care what happened next.

"I care," James muttered as his knee started bouncing with unease. Every gesture this woman had made so far just screamed he was not going to like what was coming next. Sometimes a prank wasn't enough to get his point across, and he could already feel this woman deserved far worse for whatever she was going to subject his son to.

By the time Harry got there, she was done scrawling out a note and sealed it shut with magic so that he couldn't open it, and then instructed for him to go give this to McGonagall.

That stopped Harry cold in surprise. He glanced up but saw they understood this no more than he had. What exactly did this woman think McGonagall was going to do about this?

Still, Lily managed to just find one bright spot in this, as finally Harry was getting away from her even for a moment.

He took it from her without saying a word, turned on his heel and left the room, not even looking back at Ron and Hermione, slamming the classroom door shut behind him.

"What I would pay them to start making it a trend and rally all the students to get themselves kicked out of her class," Sirius sighed.

Harry went storming through the castle for his head of house's office, his mind still a whirlwind as he ran into Peeves, who at once began cackling upon seeing him.

"I suppose there's a time and place for everything," Remus winced at that poltergeist.

"I find this an excellent use of our previous point," James' grin had turned a bit vicious. "We most certainly do need to learn to protect ourselves inside this castle. Why don't we have Peeves step inside the class for a moment to demonstrate."

"It certainly couldn't do too much harm to watch that Umbridge woman see the vitality of defensive magic being used practically," Sirius' tone held just one soft edge of a growl, while everyone was envisioning who would win in this fight against Umbridge and Peeves, and greatly enjoying the results right now.

Harry told him to get lost, but this only provoked Peeves further into breaking into song about all that Potter had done in the past.

"Should I feel honored I've gotten more than one song from him?" Harry grumbled.

"If I say yes, will it cheer you up at all?" Sirius asked.

"No," Harry said flatly.

"Oh, well then," Sirius rolled his eyes as he tried to act affronted, but mostly they were all sad Harry wasn't even playing along anymore. That's what being in one class with that woman had already done to him, they were all starting to become terrified of future results.

Harry roared at him to shut up just as he reached McGonagall's door. She shooed the poltergeist away, who indeed flew off with a raspberry, before demanding of him why he wasn't in class.

"All the flashbacks must be bombarding her at once," James said a little wistfully, at least he couldn't claim he'd ever been kicked out of class for getting into an argument with a teacher like that, it had always been intentional.

Sirius did perk up though as he pointed out, "though major credit to Harry, I don't think any of us got this accomplishment on our first day with someone new. That earns you major credit pup."

Harry still wasn't reacting, his mind too pestered on the lies that woman insisted upon, he couldn't think of anything past that for now.

Harry stated he been sent here, while McGonagall repeated his words in confusion.

"It means been given the golden ticket to leave class and come see the higher power, I'm sure you're familiar with it," Remus snarked under his breath.

He held the note out, and she opened her door to let him in. She walked around her desk before reading it, and then turning on Potter if this was true?

He demanded what in a still aggressive tone.

"Well don't take this out on here," James couldn't help the instant scolding that popped out of him, but he'd never hear of someone being disrespectful to his favorite teacher and react otherwise.

Harry's tone was finally edging out of hostile now as he looked around at James in surprise for the tone, before he quickly nodded with chagrin at his own actions, knowing he'd do the same thing to someone else he respected so much.

He quickly tacked on the word Professor to sound just a bit more polite.

Causing all the boys cackles to soothe back, at least they knew Harry meant it. They'd just had one too many instances of wannabe Death Eaters making some snide comment to their head of house for the reaction not to be instinct by now.

She began recounting the letter that had said Potter had shouted at Umbridge, called her a liar, and declared You-Know-Who as being back, which Harry denied none of.

Remus began chuckling as he saw a shining moment of James in Harry right there. Absolutely no shame or regret in those actions.

McGonagall took her seat behind her desk before gesturing at Potter to take a biscuit.

Causing all of five of them to do a double take in surprise before titterings of laughter broke out for such a comment being inserted. She really could always keep them on their toes.

Caught off guard, Harry took a ginger snap suspiciously as he sat down. This had happened once before where he'd been sure McGonagall would have his ear, but instead had invited him to join the Quidditch team.

"Still one of my favorite moments to date," James nodded with unease as he tried to guess where she could be going with this. "Surely she's not going to create something else just for Harry to join as a reward."

"I will come up to the school and hug her in thanks if so," Sirius snickered.

Professor McGonagall set down Professor Umbridge's note and looked very seriously at Harry.

"I'm sure she's had plenty of practice, all the times she's seen my face like this," Sirius nodded wisely, this one catching them so off guard James and Remus actually laughed for a second before remembering to smack him for that.

She began softly that Potter needed to be careful. Misbehavior around Umbridge would cause him more than detention and house points.

Harry tried to ask what was worse, but McGonagall gained back her usual snappy manner as she told him to use his common sense!

"That seems to get through to you best," Lily smirked.

"Keeps things serious between us," Harry said, giving an obvious look to his godfather as a clear way of apologizing for being snappy with him before as well.

Sirius took the opportunity in stride as he instantly replied, "I'll always keep things between us pup!"

The bell rang then, but McGonagall kept at her point as she said the note stated Potter was given a detention every night this week, starting tomorrow.

"But, Quidditch!" James instantly protested as he recalled Angelina's exact words about Friday.

Lily smacked him upside the head as she snapped, "priorities James."

"Did she have to set it for then," he continued quietly.

Harry cut in, horrified. Asking if she could do anything-

"Oh no, she couldn't," Remus frowned. "Dumbledore doesn't even interfere in those things, it's too undermining to the teachers."

"In this case, I think he really should make an exception," Sirius had his nose crinkled in disgust of what this woman was doing already.

McGonagall said back with no uncertain terms no she could not. He would do these detentions. Then she added for him to remember to be careful around Umbridge.

Harry burst in outrage he was only telling the truth!

"You were about Norbert too and still took that detention without such a fuss," Sirius tried to poke fun.

"This is far different and you know it," Harry sighed, clearly still not in a good enough mood to be poking back.

McGonagall gave him a stern glare back as she said this was not about truth and lies, it was about his temper needing some control.

"No to the first, but the second could use some work," James agreed.

"Learn to pick your battles mate," Remus disagreed, "I'm agreeing with all of that."

"Never quite seemed to catch that lesson," James shrugged without remorse.

She stood and was still looking down at Harry with disapproval as she told him to have another biscuit.

"Is that supposed to be a peace offering?" Harry asked, wondering at the insistence of these things.

"Just her way of trying to keep things polite," Sirius shrugged.

Harry reluctantly took another one as she asked him if he'd listened to Umbridge's start of term feast?

"I wouldn't have thought anyone had until Hermione proved me otherwise," Remus rolled his eyes at the question.

Harry struggled to recall exact phrases, before settling on what Hermione had said about the Ministry interfering at Hogwarts.

McGonagall held the door open for him as he left, saying that at least he listened to Hermione Granger.

"That really is hurtful," Harry pouted down at the final page. "As if I couldn't come to that conclusion on my own after that class!"

"Well, she's not wrong," Remus laughed as he held his hand out for the book.

Harry hesitated in giving it too him, that nasty tingling feeling still hadn't left the back of his hand where the faint white scars were, and he was really starting to dread learning the meaning of those.

HPHPHPHP

*I know I pointed this out in the last book, but the inconsistency still stands so I'm going to keep doing it. September 2nd 1995 was a Saturday, not a Monday.

**I've actually really been annoying myself I can't think up an answer to this. Did they really figure this out on themselves, and so then who fixed them up? Couldn't have been Molly, she'd question a never ending nose bleed. Of course they could have been exaggerating the whole shrivel up thing, but I still think Molly would question this too much, that's not just 'dueling'. My point stands I can not picture them doing this to random animals, so...?

***Suggested insert by a new friend of mine, Alice October, thanks for the ever loving sarcasm, which you know is my favorite.

#The Life that Never Lived #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #OotP #Marauders #James Potter #remus Lupin #sirus black #Lily Potter

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acefeather2002 · 4 years ago

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A Normal Day In The Sanders House (All+Thomas+Me)

(This was originally written as the 1K Special for when I hit 1000 reads on Wattpad. this one includes me (as you can see) and I hope you like it.) (Also, no one ever replied to my question, so I decided not to do a face reveal until later.)

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The light from the sun slipped through the closed blinds of her room as she snoozed so comfortablly in her bed. As a glimmer fell on her closed eyelids, Magnolia turned over to cut off her alarm that blared obnoxiously in her ear. "Ugh, if this stupid hunk of metal doesn't shut up...!" she complained as she pressed the button multiple times before the sound finally turned off. Evidently, she's not a morning person, but she needed to get up to get on with the day. With that she sat up and stretched her arms and back until she felt a hand on hers. She looked back to find her roommate, Thomas with his eyes squinted open partially and a small smile on his face.

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"Good morning," he uttered tiredly, as Magnolia leaned back over to caress his cheek lovingly. "Good morning, hun," she started, "time to get up." Thomas just moaned out, "Noooo," as he snuggled under the blanket more. She gave a small chuckle at that and ruffled his hair while urging him to get out of bed, "Come on, love, we gotta get up." Thomas didn't say anything, but his next move left Magnolia speechlessly surprised.

Thomas shot up, wrapped his arms around Magnolia's waist, and pulled her into him with her back on his chest. She squealed at the sudden movement and tried to squirm out of his grasp. "Thohomas! Let me gohoho! We have to get reaheady!" she yelled out while giggling. Thomas let out a mischievous chuckle and stated, "Nope. You woke me up, then you were gonna leave me alone. I'm not gonna stand for that." With that, he raised a hand of wriggling fingers to her view and took note of the instantaneous jerks in every which-a-way to escape his hold.

"No! Thomas! Waihaihaihaihait!" Magnolia squealed out, but it was too late. He scribbled his fingers between her ribs as she thrashed around from the ticklish sensations. "Thohohohomahahas!" she screamed out, "Stahahahahap! Ihihi neeheed to get reaheadyhyhyhy!" Thomas rolled his eyes playfully while saying, "Oh, alright," and he finally let her go. But before doing that, he blew an adorable raspberry to her neck at which she squealed before being released from his grip. Still letting out her final giggles, Magnolia and Thomas each got up and ready for the day.

The two made their ways downstairs to find Patton in the kitchen making breakfast. He turned at the sound of footsteps on the stairs and greeted the two with his usual sunny-day smile, "Good morning, kiddos! How do y'all feel about pancakes for breakfast?" Thomas responded for the both of them with his own grin, "Thanks, Pat. That sounds great." Thomas sat down at the table as Magnolia stepped into the kitchen and suggested, "I could help you out in here if you want, Patton." Patton accepted the offer, and the two proceeded to make a delicious meal for the famILY.

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There was enough batter left to make a few extras, so as the last pancake for the initial meal was being finished, Magnolia prepared to make the next batch for later. Patton removed the finished cake from the heat and added it to the tall stack that was made over time. Magnolia got started with the first cake batch that'll be used for later and leaned against the counter while waiting until it was ready to be flipped.

Patton came back in and leaned opposite from her with a sneaky glint in his eyes. Magnolia noticed the stare and questioned him, "Patton, what are you thinking?" Patton stood up straight with the same look as he stepped toward her. He spoke as if nothing was happening, "Oh, nothing much." He placed his hands on her waist, causing her to stiffen her posture slightly. "Are you sure...?" she asked cautiously. He just gave a sinister chuckle at her nervousness but reassured her, "Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Magnolia squirmed a little bit in the hold, "I know you wouldn't, but I don't trust what you're planning." "Oh," Patton started, "and what am I planning, kiddo?" She paused because they both knew what he was planning, but she didn't want to say it. "Come on," Patton teased as he squeezed her hips a little bit, "you know you wanna say it." Magnolia shook her head with small squeaks and whimpers of anticipation leaking from her throat.

"Do you want me to say it for you?" Patton asked with that mischievous look still glued to his face. She froze as he leaned to whisper in her ear, "You're burning it..." Magnolia jumped from shock, turned around and saw that the pancake in the skillet was indeed burning, so she quickly flipped it to find the heated side almost fully black. She groaned from annoyance as Patton slipped his arms around her waist with a small giggle. "It's okay," Patton said, "we can toss that one to one of Roman's guard dogs." She smiled a little at the suggestion, "Yeah, okay." They settled on finishing the rest of the leftover batch later and joining the others to breakfast. Unfortunately, this whole incident left her in quite a huge lee mood...

After breakfast, everyone scattered to do their own thing. Roman went into the Imagination to save a princess, Patton in his room playing with puppies. Logan was working on a project that involved human reaction to physical touch, but he needed an assistant, so he asked Magnolia, and she willingly obliged. He explained that with physical reactions can also provoke emotions, and since he wanted a better understanding of them, he felt this would be a good way to do so.

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Magnolia stepped into Logan's room and gasped slightly at the table that sat in the middle of the room. It was long with soft padding on the surface and straps at each corner. Logan noticed her worried look and assured her, "Don't worry, I'll do my best to not cause any lasting harm on you." That calmed her down a little, but not much. However, a promise is a promise, so she laid down on the table, and Logan tied her down. Magnolia pulled on the restraints and found them good and tight but not to the point where she was uncomfortable.

Logan came into view with a clipboard in hand already taking notes. "So tell me, how is this feeling right now?" he asked. Magnolia glanced around and uttered honestly, "I am kinda nervous. I think that's mainly because of the restraints since I'm not one who loves to be tied down." Logan nodded and copied the answer verbatim in his notes then inquired, "Any other reason to this nervousness that you seem to be feeling?" Magnolia thought for a second and replied, "I think it's also due to the anticipation for what's going to happen with this experiment..." Logan nodded again with a small, understanding smirk as he noted the response.

"Well there's no need to worry," he started, "as I've said before, I'll do my best to not cause lasting damage to you." Magnolia let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Unfortunately," she froze, "there are some tests that may cause small amounts of pain." She sighed but agreed to them. "Okay," was all she said. Logan gave another nod and stepped out of view for a moment.

Magnolia glanced around again to see where he went but couldn't find him until she felt a pinch on her shoulder. "Ow!" she cried out with a small scowl in her face, "hey!" Logan was quick with his response, "My apologies, as I've said there are some tests that may cause small amounts of pain, so I decided to figuratively get them out of the way." Magnolia appreciated the consideration and nodded in agreement. "I do want to know," Logan started, "how are you feeling right now?" Magnolia was somewhat quick to respond, "Kind of annoyed with the pinches. I get that all this is for your experiment and all, but still."

Logan nodded and scribbled on his clipboard. As they continued more tests, most of them being pinching and scratching at different areas (all of them being appropriate, you dirty-minded heathens), Logan noted all of the reactions and corresponding emotions. Things were going smoothly until he paused after scratching at her neck and getting a squeal and body jerks as a reaction. Logan noted the response and made the same action again with a small giggle coming out this time. Magnolia nervously looked at Logan who had a small smirk on his face as he asked, "How are you feeling now?" She bit her lip and anxiously answered him, "Kinda nervous because of what you might do with the next test, especially from that last result..."

Logan knew exactly what she was talking about, and honestly, that was kinda his plan all along. All of the sides were in on the plan for the day. Of course we know what Thomas had done, but it was actually just a hint to what was happening that day. Remember how Patton left her in a crazy lee mood earlier; that was planned too. "It's a good thing Patton already put you in a so-called 'lee mood'," Logan stated, "it would make the experience more enjoyable for the both of us." When she heard that, Magnolia tugged and yanked on her bonds but felt no movement.

"You could struggle all you want, but you're not going to be released until I release you," Logan teased with an amused and mischievous smirk on his features. With that, he lightly scratched at Magnolia's neck, earning the same squeal and giggles from her throat. "Pleaheahease, Logan! Nohohohoho!" she chuckled out. Logan just snickered at her vulnerable state and moved toward her torso while still giving the light scratches. "Lohogahan, pleahease dohohon't," she squeaked when she saw where his next attack was being placed. Sure enough, her baby giggles turned into adorable laughter (which is what I don't have, it's just for the appeal of the story) when Logan shot his finger under her arms.

"Nohohohoho! Lohohohohgahahahan!" she cried. Logan only teased her some more, "Yes, Magnolia? That is my name." Magnolia shook her head violently as the sensations started to be overwhelming. "Okahahay! OKAHAHAY! BREAHEAHEAK!" she screamed. Logan was quick to stop and let her breathe, "My apologies, I hope I didn't cause you harm." Magnolia shook her head and replied as she caught her breath, "It's okay, I'm just winded."

Logan unlocked her bonds, and she sat up. "I do hope that I haven't damaged our relationship in anyway, Magnolia," Logan said somewhat regrettingly. Magnolia shook her head again and gave him a hug to assure him that nothing had changed, and with a smile on her face, she replied, "I just hope I gave the results you needed and were hoping for." Logan nodded with a faint grin, "You did." With that, Magnolia left his room and went to check on Roman down the hall.

Magnolia stepped into the Imagination and into a vast field of pink petunias. She took in a deep breath and reveled in the fresh and sweet scent of the flowers. It was a peaceful and beautiful feeling, but the feeling was cut short by a presence that emerged behind her. Out of shock and reflex, she summoned a sword with a long crystal blade and rose gold handle. She spun quickly to strike at the figure behind her, only to be deflected to the left by none other than...

"Hello, Remus," Magnolia stated calmly but slightly annoyed. Of course this trash rat had to go and ruin such a peaceful moment. She drew away her sword as Remus hung his mace over his shoulder and spoke, "So, Maggipoo, (don't EVER call me that...!) what brings you to the Imagination?" Magnolia groaned irritatedly at the nickname but still responded, "Looking for your brother. He needed my opinion on something." She turned on her heel and started walking the direction of Roman's kingdom and village. Remus was quick to catch up.

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"Well, he could've always asked me," he suggested. Magnolia scoffed at him, "Ha! And be told that it'd be better if done naked or something like that? No way." "Good idea!" Remus shouted and snapped his fingers to reveal himself shirtless. Magnolia face heated up, and she instantly turned away from him while crying out in surprise. "Remus! Put your shirt back on! Geez!" "Oh alright," he said and slipped his shirt back on as she walked ahead.

Unfortunately, his usual mischief was a bit more heightened than usual today. "Although, I wouldn't mind seeing you with a shirt off," he jested at her. She froze in front of him with her face burning like lava. "I swear, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I'm gonna smack it off!" she cried. She started to stomp away but was stopped by Remus grabbing her hand. "Oh relax, Maggipoo," he said, messing with the hem of her top, "I just wanna see." She quickly spun out of his grip and elbowed him in the gut, "No!" she shouted sternly and started booking it down the hill. Magnolia was fast, but unfortunately, Remus was faster and caught her, tackled her to the ground, and straddled her back.

When she hit the ground, Magnolia's shirt had ridden up a bit, and Remus could see a bit of skin on her sides. "Uh-oh, Maggipoo," Remus teased in a sing-song voice, "I see some skin," and his scratched in circles at her sides with a single finger on each side, causing her to elicit small giggles from the girl beneath him. "Wait, Rehemuhuhus! Nohohohoho! Gehehet ohohoff!" Magnolia squealed out as she tried to grab his hands.

"Come on, Magnolia," Remus teased, "let me see you." He squiggled his fingers around and under her belly, causing her giggles to go into hearty laughter. "REHEHEMUHUHUHUS! STAHAHAHAHAP!" Magnolia screamed as she pounded at the ground. Remus then started switching between tickling her sides to her belly to her ribs and back through the pattern again, all of which leaving Magnolia in stitches. Although she hated the idea, she felt her options were left to nothing but begging, "REHEMUHUHUS! PLEAHEAHEAHEAHEASE! STAHAHAHAP!"

Magnolia suddenly felt the weight off her back, and she instantly curled in on herself while rubbing away to tickling sensations. Once she was able to calm down, she looked up to find Remus and Roman wrestling each other until Remus was pinned to the ground and being tickled silly. "Take that you fiend!" Roman called as he tortured his brother, "Serves you right for tormenting a lovely maiden like miss Magnolia." Roman got off his demented double and carefully walked over to Magnolia, holding out a hand to help her up, and she gladly took it. When she stood up, Roman picked her up bridal style and carried her to his palace as Remus left to his own castle in the other direction.

~Hey, Time Skip. In Roman's bedroom~

Magnolia got some new clothes since hers had grass stains from the incident before. She sat on the bed as Roman came in after she got dressed with freshly brewed cups of chamomile tea in his hands, and he started the conversation. "I do apologize for my brother's behavior," he started as he handed her a cup, "you know how that perverted weirdo can be." She snickered at his choice of words but replied, "It's okay. Knowing him, I'm not really too surprised about that whole thing." She took a sip of her tea, "I'm just glad he didn't see more than he did or needed to."

Roman only nodded apologetically, "I'm glad he didn't do anymore damage." Magnolia looked up at him curiously and asked, "How did you find me, anyways?" Roman was quick to explain himself, "I was waiting for you but soon realized that you were running kinda late, so I looked for you to make sure you were okay. I figured you would've come in through the part with the petunias, so I went to look for you there. I got passed the field to hear the cries of a damsel in distress, so I get over the hill to find my brother with you pinned and being tortured. Surely I had to save you."

Magnolia chuckled at his response, "Well, thanks for coming to my rescue. Also, you said you wanted my opinion on something. What was it?" Roman stood up instantly excited, "Oh, of course! I wanted to try a new fighting technique. If done correctly, it should cause the opponent to be really caught off guard, distracted, totally thrown off, and completely disoriented." As he said this, he snapped his fingers and teleported them to his sparring practice field.

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Magnolia stood with him amazed and asked, "Alright then, what do you want me to do?" Both drew their swords and got into ready position. Roman was the first to attack; he charged forward with an attempted strike from her right shoulder and down, but he was blocked by Magnolia's blade, and the position was held for a couple of seconds. They slashed off to each other's side and hopped back into their original positions.

They continued to spar for awhile until Magnolia got really curious about the technique. She finally questioned him, "Hey, Roman? When are you actually going to do the technique?" She turned to his direction, only to find no Roman there. "Roman?" she called out cautiously as she stepped with her defenses raised. She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder and turned quickly in that direction to find nothing there. She then felt another tap only to go through the same process again. "Come on, Roman," Magnolia called somewhat freaked out, "stop kidding around. Where are you?"

She then felt a presence appear behind her, so she quickly did a spinning strike only to see nothing there. Suddenly, a pair of arms quickly wrapped around her waist and wrestling her to the ground despite her best efforts to fight off the offender. Thankfully, Magnolia turned her head to find Roman. Unfortunately, her eyes widened when she saw that he had an almost evil grin on his face. He loomed over her and uttered quietly, "Now to make my final strike."

Magnolia writhed and squirmed under his hold in fear until she felt fingers pinch at her side, causing her to squeak at the touch. "Roman, please no," she pleased, but it was a fruitless endeavor. "Nonsense, Miss Magnolia," Roman started. "You know how I prefer to finish off my opponent in the way that I see fit," he slid his digits up and down her side to leave her in writhing giggles as he said this. "As for you, I feel it best to take you down by means of torture..." he paused to leave her in suspense and noticed the fear building up in her eyes. He then leaned to her ear and finished his statement, "...tickle torture, that is."

Roman then scratched his fingers between her ribs leading her to squeal with laughter. "Aaahahahahaha! Rohohomahahan stahahahahap!" Magnolia shrieked as she halfheartedly tried to fight him off. Roman then worked his way up to her underarms, earning him high-pitched, screaming laughter and an aggressively wriggiling body beneath him. "AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ALRIHIHIHIHIGHT! YOU WIHIHIHIHIN!" she cried out. Roman finally got off her and helped her up. He snapped his fingers again, and they were instantly back in his room.

Magnolia laid down on the fainting couch Roman had against the wall while panting. Roman kneeled down beside her with a glass of water and a regretful smile and apologized, "I'm sorry. You're so hard to resist when it comes to this, and I guess I had kinda overdone it." He handed her the water that she graciously gulped down and asked, "Are you okay?" Magnolia pulled the glass away from her lips; she smiled and responded tiredly, "I'm okay, and it's fine. I've gone through longer, believe it or not. Right now I'm just kinda tired." Roman nodded and replied while picking her up bridal style again, "In that case, let's take you to your room so you may rest properly, Miss Magnolia." With that, they walked out of Roman's room and appeared in the Commons to find Virgil on the couch on the verge of a panic attack.

When Magnolia saw his state, she jumped out if the prince's arms and ran to his side, completely forgetting how tired she was. "Virgil," she started, "I need you to breathe for me, okay?" Magnolia then started the process of 4-7-8 breathing with Virgil breathing with her. Soon enough, Virgil was able to calm down and let out a tired yawn, almost simultaneously with Magnolia. Roman left them alone as they laid down and just cuddled and held each other on the couch and fell asleep. Virgil spooned her while laying on the outside so she wouldn't be the one to fall off if one of them would.

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~Time Skip: 2 hours~

Virgil woke up to warmth and contentment. He noticed the position they were in and flushed. He also noticed that Magnolia was still asleep also and didn't want to wake her. So, he just laid there admiring her form from behind. She then started to stir uncomfortably, and he saw she want sleeping well, so he slowly and gently caressed the side of her head, feeling her relax under his touch.

He slowly trailed his hand passed her shoulder, down her arms and around her waist. He gently pulled her in closer against his chest, feeling her curl into the warmth a little bit. Magnolia felt so relaxed until she felt something moving on her stomach. Virgil started drawing circles with a single finger just to tease her a bit, and he could feel her squirm a little and hear her mumble a tiny groan under the feeling. He then traced his finger to her side, up passed her ribs, and under her arms causing her to let out a sleepy giggle and little squirms in his hold. "Hehe noho stahap," she uttered tiredly.

Virgil chuckled quietly at the cuteness in front of him, and he started scratching in her armpit causing her giggles to escalate to light laughter. "Nohohohoho," Magnolia squealed out; by now, she was awakened from her nap by giggles and tickles. She recognized the lighter touches as Virgil because he was the gentler one out of fear he may hurt her or go too far. He then scratched down her ribs and lightly scribbled around that area while still leaving her trapped between him and the couch cushion. Endless giggles poured from Magnolia's mouth as he continued this light torture, "Virhirhirgihihihihil, stahahahahap."

Virgil let out another chuckle at her, "Honestly, I'd rather not." He said this as he reached under her shirt and started tickling at her stomach and navel. Of course, Magnolia's laughter skyrocketed at the sensations until she suddenly felt vibrations on the back of her neck. She scrunched up the body part to avoid Virgil's raspberries. "EEEEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!" she screamed out. Virgil finally slowed his assault to a stop and rubbed away the sensations while leaving light pecks on her neck, earning baby squeaks from her. "I hope I didn't hurt you, Magnolia," Virgil said nervously. Magnolia turned to face him, shook her head, and kissed his cheek, replying with, "You could never hurt me."

It was late in the day and almost dinnertime, so Magnolia got up and headed to the kitchen to prepare the food. Virgil stayed on the couch and scrolled through whatever. When she put the chicken in the oven, the vegetables on the stove were almost ready. She stood over them to stir them for a second before closing the lids. She took a couple of steps back until she ran into something and felt six arms wrap around her torso, leaving her arms free, and a forked tongue flicking the back of her ear. Magnolia let out a slightly irritated sigh but still greeted him, "Hello to you, too, Dolion."

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The deceitful side rested his head on her shoulder and tasted the air, admiring her handy work in the kitchen. "I must say, Magnolia," he started with a smirk on his face, "what you have cooking in here smells simply horrible. You must be ashamed of yourself." Magnolia rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and replied sarcastically, "Gee, thanks. I absolutely live for your criticism." Dolion gave a small chuckle at her answer. "Come, my dear, surely my approval means more to you than that," he responded while squiggling a finger on her side with one of his hands, instantly feeling her squirm at the touch. She smacked at the hand to get it to stop the tickling while saying, "Hehehey, cut that ouhout." The snake-like character gave a sinister snicker and replied, "But, why? Dinner is almost ready." He started using two of his hands to hold up her arms, two to scratch at her underarms, and two to tickle at her sides and stomach while saying, "I'm sure you have a couple of minutes to spare."

Magnolia jumped and thrashed at the sensations while trying to get out of his grasp, "NAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAP PLEAHEAHEAHEASE!" Dolion gave another sinister chuckle and started teasing, "Tickle tickle tickle, Maggie Waggie. Aren't you just absolutely hideous like this." Magnolia was practically screaming at that point, "DOHOLIAHAHAHAHAN! STAHAHAHAHAP IT!" Magnolia suddenly heard a shriek behind her and felt herself get released from the sneky boi's hold. Falling to the floor, she struggled to catch her breath and looked to see what became of her captor. She was surprised to see that Deceit himself was on the floor with his limbs flailing around as Virgil straddled his waist and tickled his sides and multiple underarms. With a smirk of victory on his face, Virgil confirmed with Dolion, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: You and Remus better leave Magnolia alone, or else you'll have me to deal with! Looks like you didn't listen." Dolion was shrieking with laughter as he was going through his torture, "HAHAHA OKAHAHAHAY! I'M SAHAHAHARRYHYHY!" he cried out.

Virgil finally let up, got off of the swindler and walk over to Magnolia to help her up. "Are you okay?" he asked cautiously. She sighed and nodded, replying with, "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." Virgil pulled her into a tight hug filled with relief. Unfortunately, it was short lived because of the oven alarm going off, alerting them that dinner was ready. Magnolia pulled the chicken out of the oven and placed it on a platter as Virgil moved the vegetables into small serving bowls. They worked to arrange the table as Thomas and the other gathered to enjoy the meal. As dinner carried on, Magnolia looked around at the people she grew to love and care about, and she thought to herself, "Yeah, today basically was a normal day in the Sanders house."

#ler!sides #ler!thomas #lee!author #wattpad #tickle fluff

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

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Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Six

Words: 5k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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"Are you okay?" I ask Duff as we stand in the elevator of the Playboy office in Chicago where many of their photoshoots are held.

I’m actually thanking God we’ve managed to get this far without paparazzi catching on...then again they’re pre-occupied probably surrounding the guys’ hotel.

Duff slammed back a startling amount of Vodka Tonics on the plane over here, to combat his rancid anxiety, that I had no idea even existed until we were seated on the plane and he nearly passed out after turning sheet white and breathing abnormally fast.

"Yeah." He says in almost a slur. "I'm great."

The plan is to get him a hotel room in the city for tonight and give him money for his flight back tomorrow, so all he brought is his bass, and the way his knuckles are turning white from holding on to the case it’s in, I can tell something’s up.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask him.

“I’m fine.”

“If you’re upset over the flight over here--”

“--What if these people are creeps?” He cuts me short, and I realize he’s not still upset over the flight.

“What do you mean?”

“Tansy’s had shitty luck with slimy photographers before, right? She’s told us stories of them, like, hitting on her and making her uncomfortable.”

“Yeah?”

“What if one of these motherfuckers is like that?” He looks at me.

“Well, that’s why I made sure someone accompanied me...someone, i.e. you.” I nudge him.

“Yeah and if something happens and I kick ass, I’m gonna be in trouble, Nikki’s gonna find out we’re here, then he’s gonna--”

“--Do you need more alcohol or something?” I try not to sound too harsh, genuinely worried about his mental state at the moment.

He’s just freaking out about every fucking thing there is to freakout about.

“I just don’t want you to be in trouble, is all.” He mumbles, sighing, and I lick my lips.

“I’m not going to be in trouble, okay? It will be fine. Just take a deep breath, and relax.”

The elevator doors open to reveal a set, an array of soft lighting, a faux house setting, a hair and makeup station, and wardrobe (what bits and pieces of it I’ll actually have on).

I spot Danielle, in all her gorgeous yet professional glory, and she ushers us over to where she’s sitting, talking to the makeup artist.

“Hi, it’s good to see you again.” She tells me, just seeing me yesterday.

“You too.” I reply smiling. I see her eyes catch on Duff. “This is my friend, Duff.” I explain to her. “He’s here for moral support.” I add.

“Ah, Danielle Wythers.” She tells him.

“Duff McKagan.” He replies.

“Nikki couldn’t make it?” She asks me next.

“The thing is...he kind of doesn’t know about it.” I explain to her and she raises her brows. “It’s a surprise.” I lie, not telling her the real reason I didn’t tell him is actually because he wouldn’t necessarily like it.

“Well, he’ll love it.” She assures me.

“Oh, he sure will.” I reply with the same smile.

“Okay, not that you don’t look gorgeous as is, but we’re gonna spruce you up some. Starting out, we’re gonna have you in a little clothing, and then strip down as we go along.” She lays out the plan and I nod. “This is Lucille, she’s doing your hair and makeup, Maarin is your photographer, and when we finish the shoot, I will be interviewing you.” She adds.

“Got it.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” She waves before walking to the photographer.

It wasn’t as bad as thought it would have been. There really wasn’t much to it: just look like you’ve got perpetual “fuck me” eyes, follow the suggestions thrown at you by the photographer, and don’t clam up when you hear:

“Alright, let’s lose the clothes.” Maarin says.

My eyes nervously dart to Duff, who I can tell is trying to keep himself at ease like I am.

I look at Danielle next, who’s off to the sidelines, and she gives me an encouraging nod.

I try not to shake as I take the skimpy top they gave me, off, seeing Duff avert his gaze as they have me lay down on my stomach for a few shots of my body against a faux fur rug.

After I’ve gotten everything they want me to get in that position, Maarin is glancing around before I see his eyes lock on Duff’s bass case that’s resting at the tall blondes feet.

“Hey, you.” He says to Duff, catching his attention and Duff looks at him. “What’s in that thing?”

“...A bass?” Duff replies, slightly confused.

“What does Nikki Sixx play?!” Maarin slightly raises his voice to get an answer from anyone who knows.

“Bass?” I tell him.

“Perfect. I want pictures of you with the bass.” He tells me, motioning to Duff to get it out of the case.

“What?” Me and Duff ask at the same time.

If I get pictures with Duff’s bass, Nikki will recognize it, and kill the both of us if it makes it into the final cut.

“Bass. Naked girl. Now.” He repeats, and Duff looks at me.

“It’s fine.” I assure him, lying, but not wanting to waste anymore time because these people have busy schedules.

“Fine.” He mumbles, getting his bass out, carefully handing it to me, trying not to look at my naked body.

Not only was I mortified, nearly, when he told me to put the bass between my legs--covering my netherregion whilst holding onto the neck, being sure to position my arms where the only thing people could see were the round of my boobs--but when he told me to, and I quote, verbatim, “make love to the bass” (as if my bare pussy and tits weren’t already all over it) me and Duff both looked like we were going to jump out of the window.

Within two more hours, the shoot and the interview is over--our final shot is of me sitting against a black backdrop, not a stitch of clothing on, covering my chest with my arm, with my legs crossed to keep myself as modest as possible for the cover.

“So now what?” Duff asks me as we head to the exit of the building when we get to the lobby.

“Go to the hotel.” I say.

“...The hotel the guys are at?”

“Yeah.”

“But then--”

“--We can just say I didn’t want to fly alone.” I shrug.

He thinks for a moment, then sighs.

“How about, I catch a cab back to the airport and go back home.”

“Duff, why?” I ask, a little disappointed, stopping before we get to the door.

“I don’t want to start shit between you and him and it doesn’t make any sense to say you didn’t want to fly alone so you brought me with you.”

“I don’t want you getting back on another plane so soon if you--”

“--I’ll be fine, Viv.” He assures me and I furrow my brows a little.

“Duff.” I start.

“Vivian, it’s fine.” He tells me. “I’m being serious. Don’t fucking argue with me, it is okay.” He sternly, but friendly, promises.

“Okay.” I finally relent, nodding a little.

“Just call me tonight, alright?”

“Yeah.” I agree.

He gives me his best smile before I’m hugging him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “And I’m sorry I molested your bass.”

We both laugh, remembering the odd predicament, and I pull away looking up at him.

“It’s an honor.” He sarcastically lets out, and I wrinkle my nose. “I love you, be careful getting to the hotel.”

“I will.” I hand him the wad of cash he’s going to need to get a ticket back to L.A. and he takes it.

“Thanks.” He accepts it. “See you later.”

“See you later.”

We give each other one last look before we leave, except I go left, and he goes right.

My theory about the hotel being wrapped up in media is 1000% correct as I arrive, the driver saving Fred a trip as he gets out to help me through the ten feet to the door.

"It's great, we're great." I tell a reporter that asks me "how are things with Nikki?"

"What business did you have in Los Angeles?" Another one asks as I approach the front doors of the hotel where Fred is waiting.

"My dad's birthday." I lie, feeling relief the second Fred's large hand pushes lightly against my back, ushering me inside.

"Your dad's birthday?" He asks, knowing that was bullshit and I roll my eyes, taking my sunglasses off when we get in the elevator.

"It's like an act of congress to take a shit without someone asking me how it affects my marriage." I state and he laughs.

"How're you feeling?" He asks me and I furrow my brows. "Your blood pressure."

"Oh, I think it's okay. I have an informative sheet of paper to dictate what I eat and drink and what other medicine I can and can't take while on my antidepressant. The second I can get onto a different medication, I'm taking it."

"Well, be glad you're alive. You dying would've really inconvenienced Doc McGhee." He tells me and I chuckle.

"Yeah, that evil genius knows how to work the public like a vibrator with never ending battery life." I scoff and he looks at me. "What?"

The doors of the elevator open on our floor apparently.

"I've missed you." He admits.

"I'm glad you have. Bet everyone else has been thanking God I haven't been here to cry on their good time." I say as we walk down the hall.

"Actually, I was gonna talk to you about that." He says and I raise my brows as he glances around to make sure the coast is clear. "Sixx hasn't been doing too good."

"Oh, no, how horrible. Wasn't like he publicly humiliated his wife--or at least let another woman do so by announcing their entire relationship on national TV for everyone and their mom to see, or anything." I sarcastically let out.

"Viv, I'm being serious, here." He tells me, reaching in his pocket for my room key, unlocking my door.

"I know you are. And I'm saying if anyone has the right to be in hell right now, it's me. I don't want to hear about how hard he's taking it. He wouldn't have to take anything if he would've given a damn sooner, rather than waiting for his mistress to air out his bullshit in front of his wife and thousands of other people."

"Who says I give a damn now?" I hear Nikki's voice behind us and I stop in my tracks, seeing Fred with his eyes closed as if preparing for a time bomb to go off.

I turn to face Nikki, who's inches infront of me, and he looks down at me with a clenched jaw, looking like he just rolled out of bed, only wearing his leather pants from last night.

"Oh, if it isn't the marital fuck-up." I throw at him.

"Nice to see you, too, wicked cunt-bitch of the west coast." He hisses.

"Okay, if you two are gonna go back and forth, please do so where hotel guests who're trying to enjoy their stay, aren't at risk of witnessing it." Fred suggests, motioning into the hotel room.

"I'd rather castrate myself than be trapped in a room with her." Nikki argues.

"Please do so, maybe it'll keep you from tripping and falling, landing you in other women I'm friends with and becoming engaged to them." I snap back.

"Bitter much?"

"Go play in traffic."

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

"Anything's a good time to you if it involves not being a half-way decent husband, at the least."

"Okay, like you're 'wife of the year' Miss 'run when shit gets messy'."

"Need I remind you 'shit got messy' because you had an entire girlfriend, got engaged, and then she proceeded to indulge me and everyone else in the world when it was broadcasted nationwide?"

"No, baby, I remember it like it was three fuckin' days ago judging by how long you just fucking up and ran for without giving me a chance to explain a damn thing."

"Just making sure you didn't forget since I can only imagine how much smack you've been shooting yourself full of to drown out the self-hate--which is well deserved, by the way."

"Just like it's gonna be well deserved when I bend you over my lap and--"

"--Okay, get in here." Fred tugs me inside to avoid our fight getting physical.

He’s shutting the door before Nikki can say anything else, shutting him outside, as I set my bag down and go pee.

“Vivian, I’m not done talking to you.” Fred says from the room and I roll my eyes.

“I’m peeing, Fred, can we talk about my imploded marriage when I get done?”

“No, because we’re leaving for Chicago early tomorrow morning.” He leans against the bathroom door frame, covering his eyes to keep from seeing me on the toilet.

“Okay, then talk to me.” I tell him, getting done, wiping and flushing the toilet, standing at the sink to wash my hands.

“We know he’s on smack again, Viv.” he informs me.

“I could’ve told you that.” I reply, drying my hands.

“No, no, he’s on smack again but he’s trying to act like he isn’t.”

“Because he knows Doc will strangle him and he doesn’t wanna hear it.” I shrug, stepping past him.

“He was doing good until this Vanity mess got between you two.” He states.

“Nikki was shooting heroin again before the Vanity thing happened. He was on heroin the night of our anniversary.”

His eyes widen when I tell him this.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?!” He asks me and I raise my brows.

“I didn’t want him to get in trouble.” I admit honestly and he groans, rubbing his eyes.

“Vivian.” He complains.

“What, sorry, I thought he’d get a grip back on it...at least he told me he would.”

“Yes, because the past few days have obviously proven he can be trusted.” He argues. “He can’t even keep his vows, Viv, what the fuck made you think he’d get back on the wagon after falling off?”

“I didn’t know he wasn’t keeping his vows at the time, Fred, sorry.” I brush him off, pulling my hair back from my face with a ponytail holder.

“...Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll talk to Doc, we’ll figure something out before he starts spiraling.”

“I doubt he’s going to start spiraling, Fred. He tends to only let it get out of control when he’s bored.” I quickly remember him shooting up on stage during the last tour, and ODing in London… “We’ll figure something out, alright? Don’t go panicking to Doc and if you do tell Doc, don’t make it obvious to Nikki that you know what’s up and you want him to stop. He feels attacked and lashes out when people do that. Just keep an eye out for dealers and try to keep him company so he doesn’t feel lonely or alone.” I suggest.

“Well, I know when I tell Doc, what his makeshift solution will be.” He says and I raise my brows.

“What’s that?”

Reason number 1,468 that proves Doc was absolutely crazy…

“Oh, absolutely not.” I state the next night as me, Doc and Fred are walking backstage to get to the guys’ dressing rooms.

“Viv, just listen--” Doc starts but I cut him short.

“--We’re already having to lie to everybody and act like we’re still together, what the hell do you mean ‘make up’ with him?!” I snap, turning on him and he exhales.

“I don’t mean forgive him, I mean as long as he feels like everyone is against him, that might drive him further into his black hole--”

“--So, it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t do heroin, is that what you’re telling me?”

“Vivian, I feel like it would be best if you didn’t add to the many reasons he already feels like he’s gotta hurt himself over, just until this tour wraps and we can get him some proper help.” He tells me.

“Oh my God, I am actually about to have another stroke if you keep fucking talking!” I throw my hands up, stomping away from him, but he stays on my heels.

“Vivian, just listen.” He says as I open the dressing room door and barge in to see Vince, Mick, Tommy...and Devil Spawn.

“Doc, why don’t you just drop your pants and I’ll get on my knees and start slurping at your balls because that’s obviously what you want me to do!” I scream at him.

“Vivia--”

“--Nothing is good enough! You want us to play nice for the cameras, we’re doing that, you want us to bullshit the fans, we’re doing that, you want us to postpone a fucking divorce filing, we’re doing that, and now you’re wanting me to pretend he didn’t screw me over publicly just so he won’t feel bad that I can’t fucking stand him right now?!”

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asks.

“None of your fucking business!” I sneer at him.

“Get the fuck out, Vivian, Jesus.” Vince starts up.

“Oh, go scissor Bret Michaels and mind your own fucking business, bitch boy.” I shoot at him.

Liquor is drenching my dress when Vince is grabbing Tommy’s drink and throwing it on me, causing me to see red.

“What the fuck, Vince?!” Nikki barks at him, as Vince says:

“Get get your fucking ring back from the bitch Sixx chose over you.”

I’m lashing out, my nails dragging across Vince’s cheek as my flat palm hits his other cheek as hard as it can, causing the harsh stinging noise to echo through the room, as Doc and Fred both yell at us as we’re pried apart.

“Rabid Bitch!” Vince seethes, trying to fight past Doc to get to me, but Fred’s stepped in front of me, keeping me from going to Vince, too.

“Murderer!”

The room goes silent immediately, their faces falling in shock as Vince just looks disgusted with me.

"Vivian." Doc starts, about to scold me.

"Everyone's got a fucking slap on the wrist, doesn't matter if you fucking overdose or actually kill someone, everybody just gets a fucking slap on the fucking wrist but the second I finally act like something isn't okay, the second I protest just glossing over the fact Nikki Fucking God Damn Sixx did something shitty, I'm a fucking bitter, hateful, rabid, disgusting bitch because apparently 'I should've known better'!" I outburst, taking a few deep breaths, calming down, trying not to cry before I focus on Doc. "I can smile for the cameras. I can force myself to stomach the idea of loving him in the public eye. But I refuse to just turn the other way and act like everything's okay behind closed doors, and you can't fucking make me." I say venomously to Doc before I'm storming out of the dressing room, seeing all the roadies that were around to hear the hell breaking loose behind the closed door of the dressing room.

The next couple days consists of me just staying in my hotel room, avoiding everyone except Fred, that is until…

I keep my head down, my hand gripping at Nikki’s as we all file out of the bus in the parking lot of the hotel as my other hand shields my sunglass-adorned eyes, hearing the shouts of questions from the paparazzi as all of us head to the entrance of the hotel with security trying to keep fans and the media at bay.

Almost as soon as we step foot into the hotel lobby, free from the press and witnesses, Nikki and I are dropping our hands from each other and pulling away as quickly as possible as if we’re magnetically repellent.

“Alright, shower, strip club.” Tommy names off their agenda to Nikki, Vince, and Mick. “Viv, you wanna--”

“--No.” I turn him down before he can even properly invite me, my eyes shifting to Nikki, who averts his gaze from me the second I look at him.

“But, Viv--”

“--Just leave her out of it, Tommy. She doesn’t wanna go.” Nikki tells him flatly, heading to the elevator.

“I can speak for myself, thank you.” I hiss back to him.

“Don’t start shit with me, Vivian. I’m not in the mood.” He snaps.

“What, fight with your girlfriend?” I ask as the elevator doors open.

“Go fuck yourself.” He snarls out, walking into the elevator and I’m right behind him.

“Don’t worry, I have been, being that you won’t ever touch me again.” I argue.

I guess everyone else decides not to ride in an elevator with us in case a fist fight ensues and they get caught in it.

I stare at him, his eyes covered with his sunglasses, his hair matted and sweaty from his show, his skin pale from his body purging the toxic mixture of drugs and alcohol from his system.

“Quit fucking staring at me.” He mumbles, and instead of saying something smart back or just hitting him, I look away, feeling a sadness wash over me as I notice he hasn’t taken his wedding ring off yet since we left the press behind.

“You’re not gonna take it off?” I ask, suddenly, trying to keep my tone neutral.

He doesn’t even have to ask what I’m talking about, he just knows.

I see him glance down at his ring finger before balling his left hand into a slight fist before relaxing it.

“We’re still married.” Is all he says before the doors open and he heads to his room.

I make my own separate room, unlocking the door, being met with the bland smell of a simple hotel room.

I’m used to hotel rooms smelling like Nikki.

Getting my jacket off, I step to the bathroom and get my makeup off and brush my teeth for bed before getting pajamas on. When I get to my bed, I notice something that wasn’t there before I left for the show: one of my tshirts that I left at the last hotel we were at in Texas.

Knowing who grabbed it for me, and why I should not smell it because it’s just going to make me sad, I bring it to my nose and feel my body tense in on itself, my heart heavy as his smell infiltrates my senses, and brings tears to my eyes.

How many times have I nearly talked to him, kissed him, touched him, smiled at him, all out of habit, only to realize why we are where we are in this shit to begin with?

I miss him.

He is with me everyday but I still miss him.

I exhale and climb into bed, clinging to the shirt that smells like him, closing my eyes and pretending I’m with him.

It suddenly occurs to me that the last time I kissed him, hugged him, held him, laughed with him, saw him in the shining light that I did--I didn't realize it was the last time.

Now I’ve got myself crying, and I wipe the stray tears, trying not to think about it anymore but I can’t help it.

I thought I put my absolute everything into every laugh, every kiss, every hug, every smile...but I didn’t. If I knew then what I know now, I would have.

I squeeze my eyes closed, before snatching the covers off, and go to my door, opening it, and marching to Nikki’s door.

A part of my hopes he hasn’t gone to the strip club yet, another part of me--the sane part--hopes he has.

I knock on the door and in a couple minutes it’s swinging open to reveal a hellish looking Nikki.

Trying not to cry, but failing, I lick my lips and finally get it off my chest.

“I didn’t get to say ‘goodbye’ to us.” I state, shakily, and he looks as defeated as I do.

“Vivian--”

“--You robbed me of getting to say ‘goodbye’, of being prepared to say ‘goodbye’. I wasn’t ready to not be with you, I wasn’t ready to have every reason to leave you thrown in my face. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, and you stole that from me.” I tell him. “I didn’t get to say ‘goodbye’.” I repeat, a tear falling past my lashes.

He just looks down, letting me say what I need to and I take a deep breath, sniffle, and press my lips to his, catching him off guard.

It takes him no time to respond, the both of us letting out relieved hums as our tongues meet and he pulls me into the room with him, slamming the door behind me.

His hands are immediately pulling my shirt up, and I’m fumbling to get his belt unbuckled, being interrupted by him tugging my pajama shorts off, his lips grazing over my thigh, up my abdomen, between my breasts, and pressing to my neck before finding my lips again.

I let out a soft sigh, wrapping my arms around him, my bare chest pressed against him, his tongue moving in sync with mine.

He's pulling away in a few seconds, taking deep breaths, staring down at me, confused.

"What?" I ask softly, blinking up at him.

"What are we doing, Viv?”

I don’t answer, not really knowing what to say to begin with.

“Huh?” He questions. “We never got to talk about it, we never--”

"--Nikki--"

"--You didn't want to talk to me about it, you didn't--"

"--There was nothing to say--"

"--I had plenty to say, Vivian."

"Nikki, it doesn't matter now."

"It doesn't matter? Are you fucking crazy? 'It doesn't matter'?!"

"I-It does, but--"

"--But what, Vivian? You just wanna pretend it didn't fucking happen or something?" He snaps.

"No, I don't want to pretend it didn't happen, Nikki, that's why I got so upset with Doc the other night because he wanted me to act like everything was fine, even behind closed doors, and I don't want to do that."

"Then why the fuck are you here?" He asks me.

Apparently I get the wrong look on my face that blatantly tells him what I'm up to…and he starts laughing.

"You're gonna fuck me and leave me?!” He cackles, taking a step back and I go to speak, but I’m unable to. There’s nothing I can say, and my silence confirms it. "Holy shit you sneaky cunt."

“Nikki, stop--”

“--Were you gonna tell me you had no intention of trying to actually work shit out with me and you were just using me to make yourself feel better for a couple hours, or were you just gonna hand me fucking divorce papers and a pen the second I came in you?” He sneers.

“Nikki, I’m not trying to use you.” My voice cracks as tears come to my eyes.

“Did you come to talk about what happened and try to get somewhere, or just fuck one last time for the hell of it?” He demands and I take a breath, trying to get my head together enough to try to figure out why, myself. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Get the fuck out.” He pushes me away from him.

“If you’ll let me explain--”

“--The fuck is there to explain?! I cheated on you, you left, then you come back, patronize every fucking person that's fucked up, and then try to get your rocks off on my dick one last time like some pathetic slut. You either fucking hate me and you’re leaving, or you don’t and you’re not. I’m not doing the whole ‘friends with benefits’ bullshit with my own fucking wife!”

“A majority of our marriage has been ‘roommates with benefits’ so why the hell does it matter to you now that I just want one last night?!” I outburst suddenly and he rolls his jaw.

“Get the fuck out.” He repeats, shaking his head a little.

“No.” Tears topple over my lashes and I lick my lips, shaking my head.

“Vivian, I’m not fucking telling you again. Get the fuck out or I’m making you leave.”

“Nikki, plea--”

He’s suddenly grabbing at my arms, pulling my naked body from the floor.

“--Nikki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“--You were gonna hump and dump me and you ‘didn’t mean’ it?!” He pulls me to the door while I struggle against him.

“Nikki, it was just for one last time, just so I could remember.” I plead, my hands grasping at his shirt, my eyes--blurry from tears--looking up at his. “Please, just one last time.” I beg, weakly, and he clenches his jaw, the ghosting of tears in his eyes for a second before he says:

“If it’s gonna be the last time…" his voice cracks, before it seems like he's forcing himself to "man up."

"...I don't want to remember it." He says next.

“Nikki, please--no!” I fight with him when he gets his door open.

"Bye, Viv." I almost don't recognize the man speaking to me, he sounds so fucking distant, cut off, as if the Nikki Sixx I met at the Starwood years ago took a step back and someone else had to come forward and get me out.

“Nikki, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just please, don’t do thi--Nikki!” I cry when he shoves me out of the room, completely naked, and slams the door after leaving my pajamas at my feet.

My theory was and is today that, that moment, that "bye, Viv" was his way of finalizing what he thought was the end of us, because after that night, he acted like he despised and hated me, up until the last few nights of the Crüe's Japan tour when he called me multiple times in the middle of night, crying, fucked up, pleading, finally telling me how much he loved me.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #mötley crüe #gateway drug

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uapro · 4 years ago

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Paranormal Activity I Have Actually Experienced

Look. I do not define “Paranormal.” Neither do I make it a habit of judging (arguing with?) those who do. If we’re going to discuss the paranormal then we can’t spend our time bickering over what it is, else we’ll never get to the actual discussion! At some point, even if only for the sake of argument, we have to agree on a definition. And, there are plenty of paranormal enthusiasts who describe exactly what they mean when they say “Paranormal,” so I’m just accepting what they are saying here.

There are countless books on the topic & “Encyclopedias of the Paranormal,” including online. All of the following can be found within. So when I say these are “Paranormal” phenomena I mean that when the people who make paranormal claims speak they are talking about the following, amongst other phenomena...

#1. Deja Vu

Yeah, try to tell me that you’ve never experienced it...

#2. Ghost (spirit) resting on my bed

This has got to be the single most common ghost experience, and one nearly everybody shares: The sensation of someone pressing down/sitting/leaning on our bed when we’re sleeping, even though nobody is there!

#3. Glitches in the Matrix / The Mandela Effect

Glitches in the Matrix are supposedly “Burps” in reality. They got the name “Mandela Effect” thanks to the millions if not tens of millions of people who will tell you that Nelson Mandela died in prison long before he was released and became the President of South Africa. Glitches are a very common experience, typically where people hear of a celebrity’s death only to be quite surprised because they can recall that same celebrity having previously died.

Another very common form of glitches in when you can remember seeing a movie, hearing a song or reading a book before it ever came out.

A: “I remember this song! This was cool.”

B: “Huh? It was just released. And, no, it's not a cover.”

#4. UFOs

We’ve all seen things in the sky that we couldn’t identify. All of us. Were they space ships? Almost certainly not. And neither were they secret military craft or CIA spy tech. In all probability they were something mundane.

Not very long ago I saw a classic UFO: A light in the sky, maneuvering in a way no plane or helicopter could and most telling of all there was no sound! I told myself it was a drone and it wasn’t long after that -- a couple of weeks, tops -- when I saw it again, and managed to chase it down and speak to it’s owner. He even gave me his business card as he offers it and his services for rent!

#5. Rods

Rods are those “Cryptids” that appear on film/video though they are never seen with the naked eye. I’ve actually captured several on video in my time. However, I do not put any stock in the “Paranormal” claim. Insects can beat their wings 10 times faster than video or movie film, so their wings are captured in multiple positions within a single frame. This is how Rods are produced.

#6. Two-Fingered Levitation

Also called “Light as a feather/Stiff as a board,” the levitation trick gets my vote as the single best example of an actual paranormal phenomenon. Even the so called “Scientific Explanations” are pure rubbish, debunked with ease! Yes, the supposedly “Rational” explanations can be & are thoroughly debunked! Doing a search once, I found the exact same supposedly “Scientific Explanations” repeated verbatim by a large number of “Different” sources. That’s not science it’s dogma!

Nope, sorry, there honestly isn’t a scientific explanation for the two-fingered levitation. This is genuine creepy paranormal stuff!

#7. Premonitions.

If you try to tell me that you’ve never had a premonition, that you didn’t “Know” something was going to happen only to witness it occurring, or manage to take steps to avoid it, then I’m calling you a liar. We all share the experience of premonitions, regardless of how rare.

#paranormal phenomena #ESP #Ghosts #Aliens #glitches in the matrix #mandela effect #Gary Lesley #UAPRO #UFOs #Karen

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adverb-slut · 5 years ago

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To Be Human (Fanfiction) Part 5/?

This took ... way longer than expected due to my sheer laziness. Thank you for your patience! Also, here is the link to this chapter on AO3. (Also yay, I finally remembered to include a Michael and Lucifer Celestial Realm flashback!)

Title:

To Be Human

Summary:

When a mysterious force attacks the Devildom and destroys it, the brothers are forced to turn to their Father in the Celestial Realm for answers and assistance. However, the Almighty is still miffed at the seven due to their involvement in the Great Celestial War, and sends them to seek asylum in the one place they have yet to make their mark—the Human World.

Without the help of their beloved MC, the brothers must learn to assimilate into this strange new world, all while trying to figure out who is responsible for the destruction of the Devildom and take back their home.

Rating:

Word Count:

4195

Previous Chapter:

Read Chapter 4 here!

Lucifer adjusted his halo, which floated almost ominously over his head. Halos were considered part of the angels’ “formal attire,” but considering Lucifer was constantly in the presence of Father, wearing something so ceremonial for his work attire seemed appropriate.

“Michael, are you nearly ready?” he called, his voice reverberating through the House of Great Elation. “You know Father doesn’t like it if I’m late.”

He checked the ornate gold grandfather clock that was situated at the edge of one of the many parlors in their home.

It was almost fifteen minutes until eight, and in that time, he and Michael had to walk to Simeon and Uriel’s home—Perfection Hall—and drop off the infant Luke on their way to their Father’s Palace, where Lucifer worked. After that, Michael would meander his way to the Celestial Realm barracks, where he led Father’s legions as their Major General.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Michael panted, running down the grand staircase which connected to his wing of the house. He supported Luke, who was thrown over his shoulder with one hand, and in the other, he held his Sword of the Spirit.

Lucifer cringed when he noticed that the rest of the Angel of Destruction’s Armor of God had been strapped on haphazardly — tightened and loosened at ill-fitting places, but he sighed when he remembered that all the soldiers under him were far too terrified of their Major General to ever point it out.

He nodded at Michael. “Let’s go, then. Step lively—we’ll be late, otherwise.”

The pair walked silently down the bustling streets of the Celestial Realm, which, sad to say, became infinitely less bustling when they saw Michael. In fact, sometimes Lucifer wondered if his Father had gotten His idea of parting the Red Sea for the Israelites from seeing the wide berth that the other angels gave toward the Angel of Destruction.

Lucifer hated to say that he—and Michael—were used to this. Used to the stares, the whispers, the glares, the hushed scathing remarks.

Even Luke cooed uneasily.

“He destroys everything he touches!”

“Love the guy, but you can’t keep him around. The man carries an aura of destruction.”

“So powerful, but at what cost?”

“Who does he think he’s fooling with that puppy-dog attitude?”

“Why do we even need an Angel of Destruction, anyway? He’s just a menace.”

The words were a dagger, dull but piercing, toward the happy-go-lucky Michael, who had but nothing but love and friendship to offer his fellow celestial beings.

Lucifer heaved a sour breath as he and Michael made their way toward Perfection Hall.

If it wasn’t for him and the Archangels, Michael would’ve been all alone.

Or worse—ran out of the Celestial Realm.

Mammon bit his lip as the static-laden voice boomed through the landline base. He hadn’t been asked to study the Bible or any ancient history regarding it since his stint at the Celestial Realm. The only thing about King Solomon that he remembered from back then was that he was incredibly wealthy, and Mammon had always reveled in calculating how much the king’s possessions were worth—the sheer magnitude of the value never ceased to amaze him.

However, he also did remember something about King Solomon being the “wisest man to ever live.” His heralded wisdom, supposedly, had come to him through a dream from God, Who had promised Solomon anything in the world. Instead of choosing riches and wealth, the king had chosen wisdom. Pleased with his request, God granted him not only the wisdom that he had requested but worldly pleasures as well, such as insurmountable wealth and power.

… Why in the world would such a blessed and influential man pose as a menial exchange student and interact with demons thousands of years later?

Mammon lost his train of thought when Lucifer walked closer to the speakerphone and bellowed, “It is us.”

There was silence on the other end and the other five brothers exchanged glances—partially due to Lucifer’s vague response and partially because of the aforementioned quietness.

Suddenly, a crackle came through the speaker and Solomon said, “Ah, I see; unfortunately, that doesn’t aid me in discerning your identity, and as I’ve a great deal of powerful enemies, I think I will have to say goodb—”

“Solomon, it’s me! Asmo!” the fifthborn chirped. He raised an eyebrow at Lucifer, who sighed in surrender and stepped away from the phone.

From the speaker came an audible gasp. “Asmo! It’s been a long time.” Another crackle. “I suppose that that was Lucifer just now?”

Mammon snickered and called, “That was him, alright.”

“I see! Pardon me for asking, but why are you calling from this unknown number? I believe I have your D.D.D contact saved still.”

“Long story,” chimed in Leviathan. “We’re in the Human World now ‘cause we think someone’s out to get us in the Devildom.”

Satan nodded. “And we’re using this primitive human technology called a ‘landline’ to reach you, as we’ve yet to be provided with mobile devices.”

Something crashed on Solomon’s end, and Mammon wagered that he must have dropped his phone in shock. A moment later, the sorcerer’s voice returned. “Did I hear that right? You seven are in the Human World?”

“Yes, we are. We called you because we have some questions.” Beel walked forward so that he was standing directly in front of the speaker. “What are the best restaurants up here?”

A confused mumble came from Solomon, before he answered, “Uh, well—”

“You can hold off on answering that one, for now, Solomon,” interrupted Lucifer, shaking his head at Beel. “Rather, we figure you can help us solve a different problem of ours.”

“And that would be?”

Lucifer took a deep breath, and Mammon had to admit that he’d never seen his elder brother look so stressed. He was surprised that Asmo hadn’t scolded him over the wrinkle that was beginning to form between his brows. “Diavolo and the Devildom are in trouble, and someone has stolen information regarding the culprit behind this entire ordeal from my Father’s omniscience. Without it, we cannot find Diavolo or discern who is behind this. You have ties to many demons, not to mention are a sorcerer—”

“And the primordial King of Israel! Did you ever plan on telling me that? I think I should know if I have a pact with someone as glamorous as royalty!” huffed Asmodeus.

Solomon let out an amused hum. “Oh, so you figured that out, did you? Did Simeon tell you?”

“Apparently he’s the one who set your contact into our phone under the name ‘his Imperial Majesty, King Solomon of Israel,’ so kinda, yeah,” Mammon said.

“Mind explaining how you’re some kind of immortal king?” demanded Belphie. “Last time I checked, humans don’t live for very long.”

The sorcerer laughed. “I suppose you know that I once asked God for wisdom in a dream, and as soon as I had it, all kinds of arcane knowledge regarding sorcery and magic, demons and angels, was opened up to me, and from there I learned about demon pacts. One time I pledged my life to a demon—my soul for immortality.”

Satan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “If I’m following you correctly, wouldn’t that have to mean that you sold your soul rather early in your life to look as youthful as you do now? Unless … you also managed to change your appearance entirely?”

“Nice catch, Satan,” mused Solomon. “Actually, yes, it was quite early in my reign that I began to dabble in the dark arts and sell my soul, and yes, my immortality does prevent me from physically aging. Ah, wait, that’s not entirely true—my hair is the only thing that continues to age, which is the reason as to why it’s as white as it is.”

“I really feel as if I ought to have been made aware of this!” grumbled Asmo.

Mammon put a hand to his cheek pensively, as the fifthborn continued to bemoan the massive injustice that had been done to him through this secret. Something didn’t seem right about Solomon’s story. As far as he was concerned, his Father wasn’t a fan of demons—that much He had made very clear—and there was no way that a person who consorted with them to the degree that Solomon supposedly had in the past would be remembered honorably in the Bible.

But that wasn’t the case. If he was remembering correctly, God had nothing but praises to sing of Solomon, and save for his singular mistake of having his heart led astray by his unholy number of wives, the king was revered and respected in biblical history. He even had penned several books of the Bible, displaying his wisdom and knowledge.

That certainly didn’t line up with the current Solomon’s tale of occult dealings.

Mammon shot Lucifer a look, and the firstborn nodded. It appeared that he had made the same observation. He stepped forward.

“Solomon, do you really expect us to believe that someone as perverse as you claim to be could be remembered so admirably in the Bible? The words written in there echo Father’s thoughts verbatim, and there is no way that someone as obsessed with purity and light as He is could approve of your dark actions,” inquired Lucifer with a raised eyebrow.

Solomon chuckled in amusement but gave no reply.

Lucky for them, he didn’t have to, for Satan’s eyes lit up as he pieced the two shards of information together. “You wanted to be remembered as a proper and perfect king for millennia to come, so you went in and removed all traces of your dealings with the occult from Father’s omniscience. Because it’s all that Father knows, your memory in history now consists only of your good deeds.”

“And one bad one for realism,” added Solomon. “Everyone makes mistakes, you know. I can’t have humanity believing that living a perfect life is attainable, no matter what your Father says.”

Mammon felt as if his head was starting to spin with all this new information.

He realized … if Solomon revealed that the process of removing information from their Father’s omniscience was easy, then perhaps he could use it as an excellent business opportunity. Who wouldn’t pay gobs of money to have their past mistakes wiped completely from the Almighty’s knowledge?

But maybe that was going too far …

Nevertheless, Mammon still had to ask, “So how’d ya do it, anyway? Remove stuff from Father’s memory ‘n’ all?”

He could hear the irritating smile on the sorcerer’s face as he replied, “I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

To his surprise, it was Asmo who yanked the phone upward and yelled, “Solomon, don’t make me spank you—and not in the fun way, either! That kind of information is the kind we need to go back home to the Devildom. I can’t stay here in this stupid Human World for much longer! We’re poor, and I have to share a bathroom—a bathroom—with these barbarians!”

Solomon sighed. “Calm down, Asmo. Fine, I’ll explain, but I doubt it’ll help you as much as you think.”

Lucifer gestured for the other five brothers to inch closer to the speaker, and Satan whipped out a notepad and pen from his pocket to write notes, as Solomon began, “Your Father is only as powerful as He is because He possesses three things that make Him so—His omnipotence, which means He has the power to do anything; His omnipresence, which means He can be anywhere at any time, and finally, His omniscience, which means He knows all. Your Father has access to these three attributes of Himself at all times, but that doesn’t mean He uses them constantly—”

“Because He thinks that it takes the fun out of things—yes, we know that, Solomon,” interrupted Lucifer impatiently.

Solomon coughed. “Er—well, okay, then. Anyway, these three attributes are considered separate from God Himself, as in, they have a separate location in His mind than His regular thoughts. All you have to do is find a way to transport yourself directly into God’s mind where the three attributes are located, find the omniscience attribute, and then alter the information found within it.”

The seven brothers stared at each other in disbelief, before Levi moaned, “Oh, that’s all? You just have to teleport yourself into the mind of an OP deity? Piece of cake.”

Satan snapped his fingers. “Wait, since this feat appears to be so difficult to achieve, that should help us, since I’m assuming only a few people could execute it. With such a small pool of potential suspects, we should easily be able to discern who was the one who removed the information regarding the Devildom’s destruction and Diavolo’s whereabouts from Father’s memory.”

“You’re right—but I wasn’t finished,” said Solomon, eliciting a chorus of groans from the demons. “Teleporting into your Father’s mind is difficult enough, and even if you do, you’d instantly be marked as an intruder, because since everyone’s power pales in comparison to your Father’s, His mind can instantly recognize when something weaker enters it. Imagine you have a soft lump of clay and somehow a stone gets mixed into it. When you touch the clay, it’s easy to distinguish the stone because it feels so different from the malleable clay that surrounds it—that’s how it’s like in God’s mind. Anyone that enters it immediately stands out because everything else in His mind is so powerful.”

Belphegor yawned. “Do you have a point?”

“Yes. The only way to blend into His mind undetected is if you yourself are powerful and combine your power with others who are just as powerful; that way you generate enough power so that you can not only cast a spell to enter God’s mind but also so that you remain unexposed in it. I find the best combination of beings to combine powers with are angels and demons—at least one of each. Somehow the potency of this combination is unprecedented.” Solomon cleared his throat. “Does that answer all your questions?”

Mammon scratched his head. Powerful angels and demons were in abundance in both the Celestial Realm and the Devildom … that didn’t necessarily narrow down their number of suspects. “Was it s'posed to?”

Solomon laughed. “I guess not. I told you me telling you things wouldn’t help as much as you think.”

The brothers exchanged irritated glances, before Lucifer, massaging his forehead, grumbled, “I suppose it’s better than nothing. You’re dismissed, Solomon—” He ignored the protesting sorcerer as he clicked off the landline and turned toward Satan. “Start making a list of all the powerful angels and demons back home and in the Celestial Realm.”

Satan grumbled very loudly, but obeyed without any other protest, as Mammon asked, “How’s that gonna help? It’s not like we got a gauge that tells us what a powerful angel or demon is.”

“Yeah, calling Solomon was one of the most useless side quests I’ve ever done,” said Leviathan.

“Hush, you two,” scolded Lucifer, staring intently at Satan, who was voraciously making his list. “I can already see the gears turning in his head. If any one of us can figure this out, it’s Satan.”

Satan’s head whipped up at his words, a fire in his eyes. “I see how it is—stick all the work on the middle child .”

Before anyone could retaliate, a sound echoed through the house. It sounded strange, like someone had rung a bell, and Mammon had to stop himself from instinctively leaping into Levi’s arms—which he considered to be very proactive of himself, for the thirdborn had a nasty habit of hurling Mammon into the ground whenever he did so.

The brothers, who had fallen silent at the sound, shrugged as a unit when they couldn’t discern where the noise was coming from, before Lucifer put his hand on his forehead and addressed Satan again, saying, “If that’s how you wish to see it, then—” He was interrupted once more by the ringing sound. “What in Father’s name is that?”

“Almost sounds like a cowbell,” mumbled Belphie.

Leviathan’s eyes lit up. “Wait—I’ve got it! I’ve heard this sound about a thousand times in What To Do When A Big-Tiddy Anime Girl Is At Your Door But You’re Too Afraid to Let Her In Because She’s Glowing The Colors of the Entire Electromagnetic Spectrum. It’s one of those Human World doorbells!”

“Doesn’t sound like any doorbell I’ve ever heard,” Mammon said. Didn’t all doorbells sound like the screaming of ten thousand souls trapped in a burning abyss? Their doorbell in the House of Lamentation certainly had.

Lucifer gestured toward the fifthborn. “Asmo, you go check the door.”

“Me? Are you crazy? What if it’s a murderer or something? They’ll take one look at me and be so jealous of my beauty that they’ll kill me on sight!”

“In that case, you definitely should go. Take Mammon with you, too.”

“The Great Mammon resents ya, Lucifer, for that!” Mammon replied, glaring daggers at his elder brother as he walked toward the door, a sulking Asmo in tow.

As they neared the door, the bell sound rang through the house again, and the sheer volume there led Mammon to conclude that Levi was right—the sound definitely was the doorbell. He yanked open the door, and immediately upon seeing who was behind it, slammed it closed.

He ignored the injured “Hey!” that came from the other side as he yelled toward his brothers, “Call Animal Control!”

Asmo laughed. “Don’t call Animal Control on the cute little chihuahua.” He turned toward the door and opened it, greeting the guest with a “Hello there, Luke.”

The young angel let out a very offended sniff, before walking through the threshold, pulling behind him a droll little white wagon. “Don’t expect me to entertain the company of demons for very long, but Simeon said I should deliver these things to you.” He gestured toward the parcels that almost overflowed out of the wagon bed.

Mammon’s eyes lit up at the packages. “Whaddaya got for me?”

Luke, who seemed to not have forgiven the secondborn for slamming the door in his face said, “Your box is at the bottom.” Quietly, he muttered, “Hopefully, it’s all smushed by now.”

Before Mammon could snark a reply, his other brothers walked into the hall.

“Ah, welcome, Luke,” greeted Satan, nodding at the angel. “I take it that those packages are for us?”

“Please tell me there’s a gaming console or some manga in there,” begged Leviathan, yanking a hand through his hair. “The laptop we’ve got now can barely stream any anime and forget downloading any games—the thing’s way too slow.”

Luke’s eyes widened in disgust at Levi’s suggestion. “O—of course, there isn’t! The stuff Simeon gave me is all useful stuff.” He began to unload the boxes off of the wagon, handing each brother a package with their name on it. “I know Simeon said everything would arrive later in the week, but things went faster than expected, so.”

Mammon grumbled when his parcel, indeed, was all scrunched and squished at the edges. Inside the bundle was a driving license, a mobile device that was creatively called “iPhone,” and various boring papers that were supposed to be bank statements (he almost vomited at the sight of them) and other official documents.

Mammon gulped as he shuffled the contents together; seeing them made him realize that this was all real. His brothers and he were really going to be living in the Human World, posed as humans, for Father-knows-how-long.

He could feel the bile rise in his throat, but he choked it down and shook his head. What kind of demon was nervous about living with humans? After all, one of his most favorite beings in all three worlds was a human, weren’t they?

Before he could ponder anymore, Beel gestured toward the last box in the wagon. It was plain and unmarked and smelled of sweetness and love and joy and other generally unpleasant things for demons. Nevertheless, it made all of their mouths water. “What’s that?”

Luke blushed as he gently picked up the box and held it out. “It’s—it’s not like I—I baked Heavenly Peace Petit Fours for you demons as a housewarming gift or anything! I just happened to be making them for Michael and had some extra!”

Beel snatched the box out of his hands and immediately began chowing down on the delicate confections. He pat Luke on the head gently mid-bite. “Good doggy.”

Mammon could barely contain his laughter as Luke’s face turned a shade akin to the strawberry jam he’d layered between the petit fours and sputtered, “I—I am not a dog!”

“Shh, now, don’t tease him so much,” Lucifer chided, although a small smirk had formed on his lips, as well. “We need him to answer a few questions, now, don’t we?”

Mammon raised an eyebrow. “We do?”

He didn’t like the look on Lucifer’s face as the eldest bent low to reach eye level with the young angel, whose eyes widened in something that seemed to be a cross between indignation and terror.

“Tell me, Luke,” demanded Lucifer, his voice low and as smooth as honey, “what you and Father and the other angels have to say about the Celestial Realm Cellular Service and Internet Provider?” His eyes flashed red and Luke stumbled backward, dropping the handle on his wagon.

“I—I’m not supposed to tell you,” gulped Luke. The obstinacy drained out of his eyes and was replaced with pure, unadulterated fear as the eldest bared down on him. “Anyone who’s not an angel isn't supposed to know that.”

Lucifer laughed, a menacing sound. He inched closer, “Ah, but you’ll tell us, right?”

Mammon normally didn’t mind when Lucifer went full-demon on people, but … come on, Luke couldn’t have been more than ten in angel years … he was just a kid. He put a hand gingerly on his brother’s shoulder. “Yo, calm down.”

Lucifer whirled toward him, and Mammon’s heart sank in pity. Beneath the glowing vermillion eyes, he could see it all.

Fatigue.

Desperation.

Disappointment.

Shame.

He understood.

In just a short period of time, Lucifer had lost his home and his beloved friend, was forced to bow to the aid of a realm that had abandoned him and so he despised, and was made to live in a place that was far inferior from what he was used to. Solomon had been their only lead, and he had proven to not be much help. Their only respite at this point was to get this little angel to divulge the only other information that they could hope to have.

Mammon sighed and pushed Lucifer aside—a dangerous move, he knew. “Let me do it.”

Lucky for him, Beel and Asmo were already restraining their elder brother as they tried to calm him down. He turned to Luke. “Look, chihuahua, ya really think we’re gonna feel comfortable knowin’ the Celestial Realm is spyin’ on us with that little phone company of theirs?”

Luke wrinkled his nose. “Spying on you? Why would anyone want to spy on a bunch of demons?”

“Why else would the Celestial Realm immediately make us use their cell service and internet provider?” argued Levi.

“Well, I guess you demons wouldn’t know this, since it was implemented after you guys left," explained Luke, "but the Celestial Realm Cellular Service and Internet Provider—we call it CRCSIP, by the way—is one of the many Celestial Realm-owned companies throughout the world—”

“So I was right,” Mammon interrupted, “the Celestial Realm is goin’ capitalist.”

Luke fervently shook his head. “No, it’s not. All companies owned by the Celestial Realm are there for angels and angels only. They’re to be used free of charge for any celestial being since angels who are residing down on Earth are usually Guardian Angels who still need to purchase things for themselves but don’t work human jobs and therefore don’t have any human money.” He kicked the ground. “Father put you guys on one of the CRCSIP’s plans just as another way to help you out.”

Lucifer, who had calmed down a bit and now was flushed with embarrassment at his actions, coughed and said, “Unacceptable. We never asked for this.”

“We’ll be takin’ the free stuff, though!” Mammon chirped.

Leviathan ran a hand through his hair. “All that doesn’t necessarily mean we still can’t be spied on.”

The angel grit his teeth. “For the last time, who the heck would wanna spy on a bunch of demons?”

“The same person who’d destroy the Devildom with Hellfire and possibly abduct Diavolo and remove information from Father's omniscience,” Satan shot back. He drew out his notepad and pointed to the column where he had been printing powerful angel names. “Do any of these angels have access to any of the inner workings of the CRCSIP?”

Luke peered at the list for a moment. “I’m just a Junior Guardian, so I don’t know much, but I’m guessing that the only one with clearance to the records and information like that would be … oh yes, he’s on the list—Michael.”

Lucifer blanched. “Michael?”

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