#and be free of her pain
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i think about brooke eby, a 30-something woman on tiktok who makes videos about her ALS diagnosis, and how she’s just one of countless young people worldwide who is dealing with the most shit hand you can possibly get. i think about my aunt, who died in her early 50s from frontotemporal dementia and left behind my uncle and my two young cousins. how can you see others around you who, through cruel twists of fate or from awful systemic issues, don’t reach 50, 60, 70 years of age, and somehow deduce that the phrase “aging is a gift” is insensitive or not truthful?
i so desperately want my 95-year-old grandmother to die with dignity. i think that her life has been artificially extended longer than what it should have been in terms of being able to sustain a decent baseline quality of life. but my grandmother, who has always been afraid of death, has chosen to live the way she’s living - as is her right - and she will likely die in a difficult, traumatic way. i know her and i know my family, as much as i would like to be pleasantly surprised to the contrary. but in no way does the sad state of my grandmother’s life take away from the fact that she lived at least 75 full years, a gift given to very few people.
#i just learned about lauren hoeve#who died at age 28 from euthanasia after suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome for years#and i am simultaneously so happy that she could die on her own terms#and be free of her pain#while i’m also so sorrowful that she lived in such agony where it would have been inhumane for her (and against her wishes)#to live to her old age#that’s the GOAL people!#and plenty of people either get that opportunity wrenched away from them with a terminal diagnosis#or they make the decision to end their life because they exist with such acute and persistent physical/mental/emotional pain#savor the position you’re in#and the opportunities you have to change/grow/develop/realize a life you can be happy with#if you are in decent health and think you may very well reach old age
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Really I think nothing shouts "my first Presidential election as a politically active person was 2016" more than the fact that when I feel hope and excitement for the future (possible President Harris) for more than five minutes I immediately get a crushing, all-consuming anxiety of "feeling this positive emotion now is going to make it so much worse when the worst thing possible happens" to the extent that I'll probably need my break-glass-in-case-of-emergency anxiety medication.
#politics#us politics#kamala harris#donald trump#2016 election#2024 elections#personal post#I can't feel any hope about politics without my brain reflexively shutting it down in case things get too nice before the fall#I know Harris has flaws#But I just like her--she's more progressive and feels joy and isn't shy about hating Trump#But then my brain is like “do not get attached or The Pain will be worse later”#This happened in 2020 too---I couldn't believe it when we won I was so busy preparing for the worst#harris for president#democrats#vote democrat#seriously vote democrat#If you are following me or reading my fic and capable of voting in the US election and are not voting Democrat please feel free to fuck off#You're the reason Trump won in 2016 and if you prove my anxiety brain right I hope all your food comes out burnt for the rest of your life#good thing I have therapy tomorrow
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Absolutely devastating realizations about Happy Ever After
PRISTINE CUT SPOILERS:
I was wondering why in Happy Ever After the table was so long and kept us so far from the Princess, and I realized that Smitten was probably terrified that we would try to hurt her, cus even if we didn’t want to, the thought of the Narrator taking control and forcing us to attack her OR force her to kill us in self defense would compromise both of our “happiness”.
But it’s only when the facade ends and we let her out of the cabin that we’re able to actually share a dance with her. A real connection.
It’s so twisted and sad that Smitten, in his desire to keep the Princess safe and happy, actually prevents us from connecting with her in the way actual couples do. He’s afraid of himself, of failing her, and of hurting her, but in trying to protect her he pushes her away from him emotionally. The cabin isn’t just to protect her, it’s to protect himself.
#slay the princess#slay the Princess voices#voice of the smitten#pristine cut#stp pristine cut#slay the Princess the pristine cut#the pristine cut#I will NOT tolerate Smitten slander#he’s like the Wild#he wants the Princess close to his heart but can’t acknowledge their past pain#he thinks ignoring it and shoving it away will make them both happy#he loves her more than anything#he’s terrified of letting her close to him but also is too obsessed to let her go free#this is a Smitten who stopped believing they were unstoppable together
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callum feeling small and insignificant just being in the throneroom
vs callum practically kicking down the doors and waltzing in guns blazing
#The Rayla Effect#seriously like i know that he is now not only the crown prince but the high mage#and that he's gotten a lot more confident in that position over the years#but GOD#he fucking walks in like he owns the place#not a hint of hesitation#talking to opeli like she's nothing more than a pain in his ass#like he doesn't give two flying fucks it's just FREE MY WIFE SHE DID ALL OF IT I DONT CARE#her ability to turn him into both a flustered mess#and an unflinching badass#is just a truly beautiful thing#rayllum#callum#tdp callum#tdp s5#tdp#the dragon prince#continuethesaga#continue the saga#giveusthesaga#give us the saga#domina profundis
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El being *12 hours earlier* than the Cali timeline when she arrives at Nina. Will saying ‘it’s been 9 hrs’ in the scene following his monologue in the van.
We know that at some point their timelines merged when they arrived to save her…
But we don’t know when exactly those alignments took place when they were still apart… which just makes you wonder…
#byler#something something#el’s not stupid#she heard everything at rink o mania which included mike deflecting about not calling Will#she heard Dustin say mike was being annoying about Joyce’s telemarketing job#she got her powers back roughly around the time the van scene was happening we can presume…#why would she not check on Mike and Will after finding out about the Hawkins gang?#she was literally with them last and it would make sense for her to want to know where they are/what they are doing#and since the timeline is off with el at Nina… just makes you wonder#the sad painful looks el makes during Mike’s monologue…#if she heard anything from that van scene..#whether it be mike saying it wasn’t fate/destiny and was just simple dumb luck…#if she heard Will emotionally play off deep feelings he harbors as el’s#even writing off his painting as being commissioned by her…#oh and the heart??#if she heard that and heard will encourage mike with it before telling her he loved her#no wonder she looked miserable#and left dude on read at the end instead to focus on max#both after his monologue and at the cabin 😙#this line from s2 is so insane in the context of this too…#bc if she saw them in the van and saw Will’s speech…#she also saw mike’s reaction which was blurred for us…#Joyce: he’s not doing well…#El: I know. I saw.#Joyce: what else did you see?#El: 👀#delusional but free
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the golden dragon zelda she only does the transformation for the final fight in the sky, here she is just after doing it chasing after 'ganondorf' to save link, she tackles and bites gan to make him let go of link
design notes:
(notes written here again for better reading) - horns are vaguely shaped like the hyrule crest - she has feathers and markings on the nose to reference owls - green mouth to switch the colors around (and neat contrast), bc gan has a blue mouth, zelda now has green, and if link ever was a dragon hed have it red -markings on the head feathers are a reference to the lil things satori and rumi (blupee?) have on their head
(totk rewritten project)
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#totk#ganondoodles rewrites totk#dragon zelda#also imo made her color design more harmonical .. (?)#also shes bleeding from her nose bc a transformation like that takes a toll on you#also i imagined it like#dragon gan caught both zelda and link between his teeth but she can wiggle free and falls#human zelda is falling and knowing she cant help link otherwise decides to do the transformation#trusting that link will save her at the end bc he has the remedy that she believes reverses the dragon thing#-believe- bc she doesnt know for sure so its still a huge risk#she does it mid fall and at first keeps falling as a dragon#since its a painful transformation and she needs to gather herself for a bit#but just above the ground she catches herself and flies upwards chasing after ganondorf#you know the scene in spirited away where wounded haku falls down that shaft and then catches himself just before reaching the pit?#like that in a way
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Okay but can we PLEASE talk about how no hextech au Powder has a lock of her hair dyed pink, Vi's pink, a tribute to her sister to keep her close?? Because it made me physically sick and I haven't been okay since -
#something about how her hair holds memories in each universe but in a different way...#in the main timeline it's her braids#her hair that she's never cut that holds the touch of her sister still#of everyone she's loved and lost#heavy weighing her down and tying her up shaped by pain both hers and silcos#and here it's short and light and allowed to be cut off and buried and grown again#but it holds a touch of her sister still#her sister's colour#that she will always keep with her#and dyeing hair needs to be done over and over so it doesn't fade#so it's an active effort she'll keep making to keep vi alive in her heart#meanwhile growing out hair so long is more of the lack of an action#the lack of cutting it of letting it go#instead letting the pain grow and fester#idk this is such a perfect way to show this powder and who she's become#light and free not held back by her past but actively making a choice to hold onto the one she loves from it#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#ekko arcane#ekkojinx#vi arcane#no hextech au#powder arcane#timebomb
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Halloween prompts year 2 day 17
A supervillian had captured a supernatural creature in some kind of device, the entity in question looked like a white haired teen from what they could see of him in the glass sphere he was enclosed in.
The villian was monologing about how they would use the creatures sacred powers to resurrect some evil gods or whatever when the heros intervened knocking him away and accidentally started the machine.
The teen screamed as electricity flowed through his body. Tim ran to him searching for a way to turn off the machine when his hand touched the outside of the sphere.
Unbeknownst to the heros, the machine required a piece of whoever was dead to revive them, it could be hair, blood, bone or even...a memory
That was how Tim, as Robin (or Red Robin whoever you prefer) found himself holding not his mom or dad or anyone you might have expected.
No.
He was holding someone he never thought he'd see again. Someone who didn't even think she was real. Someone who was marveling at her new body made of flesh and blood
Annie.
#halloween prompts#prompts#danny phantom#danny fenton#tim drake#danny passes out after this and is taken into custody of the Justice League#annie is super confused but very happy to be alive#maybe she even has clayfaces powers?#Annie was a construct clayface constructed in BTAS and she broke free of him by getting amnesia#she died sacrificing herself to clayface and letting her absorb her to save robin tim#if word gets out about this every villian with a sick/dying/dead loved one is going to be after Danny#and maybe annie too for experiment purposes#tim is probably overprotective of annie regardless#if damian is in this then hes going to be a pain and maybe befriend annie much to Tims horror#fanfiction prompts#batman#red robin#robin#robin iii
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SPARKLE ON ✨✨✨
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#gif#blinking#proseka#sparkle on!#i was gonna queue this for wednesday but thats so painful for me so happy wonderhoy its wednesday sunday#kirakira dokidoki mochimochi puyopuyo wakuwaku wasshoi#i went through hell and high water and like 8 online free glutterbtext gif generator websites to find the exact font#thank you glittertextonline dot com#ive thought about drawing a lot of jerma bullshit as wxs. plesde be thankful that im focusing on artfight#the nene985 dollhouse is still on my mind. i wanna draw her leaping out of that window really bad#idk what to type here since this is like a week i advance and i wont remember scheduling this in about 20 minutes. ummmm#OHHH I HOPE MY GUITAR IS FIXED BY THE TIME THIS POSTS I FOUND A USED AMP FOR MY BIRTHDAY ^___^ I WANNA PLAY YIPPEEEEE#anyways.... be who you are. shalalalaaaa ^_^
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Sasha (who's askin) Racket, my beloved.
I didn't even mean to finish this originally, but I have motivation for once so why not.
#I managed to lose my pen but I finally have free time again#so I guess my will to finally do some more rqg fanart has to overcome the pain of drawing with a mouse.#rqg#rusty quill gaming#sasha rackett#sasha racket#how do you even spell her last name?#rqg fanart#fanart#art
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Reaper's Bounty.
#ffxiv#fan art#emet selch#zenos yae galvus#oc#atticus van simularus#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#I'm here to rattle my garlean reapers=vampires propaganda around because it lives rent free in my head#look two idiots willingly offering their aether to the people protecting them#one for their enshroud and the other for their primal transformation LOL#Atticus isnt always wholesome and with Regent's power he could appear at Solus' side whenever it was demanded of him#and because in universe regent is in control of the intake of aether emet doesnt have to worry about atticus taking too much -or-#discovering he was an ascian lmao#I also just felt like drawing crazy-eyed emet because its fun#also dont mind zenos plotting 100 ways to kill a man because hes in a situation where he has to transform#and therefore take his healer's own aether just to protect them#not that tsukiko minds- it means she gets to take a free nap#also the in universe pain that zenos has to feed either from her arm because he will not put his teeth anywhere near her neck (ironically)#(tsukiko heals through singing and its something he enjoys listening to in their off time)#mans stuck with literally the arm or the leg because Tsu is tiny next to him#adventurer zenos
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AUGHH CLASS ASSIGNMENT YIPPEEE!!! Had to make cut out silhouette designs for 3 of our characters!!!
#i havent drawn for myself in so lonng AUGH#and i also had to learn to use photoshop which was. interesting but i got comfortable with it eventually#i couldve did this so much faster but alas growing pains on a new software#csp i miss u ill always love you#ANYWAY YA!! We had to choose a fairytale to adapt and have a twist and that will be the story well be making concept art for the entire ter#i chose the little red riding hood and my twist is that its set in the victorian era and also its toxic yuri HEHEEE#So yeah first pic is the the little red riding hood girlie (Scarlette) all grown up and became a huntress#second pic is Wolf woman who Killed said gramma long ago but tricked scarlette to thinking that she didnt#(they have a tense enemies to lovers to enemies kind of arc HEHE)#And third pic is the hunter/woodsman!!! He is gonna be the one that tells scarlette that the wolf lady IS the one shes been hunting#all her LIFE#and so girlies gonna get SO mad like FUCK I FELL IN LOVE HER BUT I STILL GOTTA KILL HER BECAUSE I SWORE TO MY GRANDMA I WOULD#and ya they both fight to the death. stabbed via hearts. HEEHEE#god im so tired all the time I HAVE NO FREE TIME AAAAA#I HATE YOU TWO HOUR COMMUTES
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Lovely-eyed. Death-touched. Witch.
I have never understood where the line is drawn, between sacrifice and self-slaughter. All the years I've been sacrificing for my friends sake, but at what cost? I love them, dearly. But what if I am sick of being the slaughtered lamb? The thought of being the protagonist of the story for once is uncomfortable, yet exciting. ( . . . )
# F̲I̲R̲E̲B̲R̲N̲D̲ ・゚― headcanon based, private and selective portrayal of Bonnie McCullough ; influenced by book and show ( the vampire diaries ) but not following either of the storylines ( mun is heavily anti j.plec ! ) ; currently re-reading the books but consider this version of our beloved Bonnie as canon-divergent and heavily worked on by the mun. 21 + only, m&pdni ! ger/eng, but I'll stick to german for longer novels/threads for now. ― ・゚
MAINS: @geisterwelt @ashbalfour @dopplgaenger @verflcht
NAVIGATION: 𝓅𝒾𝓃���𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 l 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓇𝒹 l 𝓇𝓊𝓁𝑒𝓈
( fyi: the muse and blog are still a wip and a lot will be changed within the next days/weeks, as I am still re-reading the books (hooked on book three) ! but i am absolutely thrilled to interact and plot with you ! )
#tag dump:#・゚― introduction : meet bonnie mccullough.#・゚― edits.#・゚― out of character.#━━ * ⊰ visuals / she might look like a fragile flower but her stem is made of steel.#━━ * ⊰ aesthetic / all power demands sacrifice and pain.#━━ * ⊰ quotes / flowers grow back even after they are stepped on an so will i.#━━ * ⊰ starters / forever writing a story in my head.#━━ * ⊰ threads / feel free to hit 'em with a plot twist at any moment.#userfakevz#she/her#f: the vampire diaries#tvd rp#rp promo#the vampire diaries rp#tvdb rp#supernatural rp#singlemuse rp
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Naptime
#nimona#nimona 2023#nimona movie#ballister boldheart#ballister blackheart#ambrosius goldenloin#goldenheart#art#fanart#therapy is expensive but drawing them is free#i have a problem and they are the cause#drawing them napping is therapeutic lemme tell ya#personal hc is that nimona has the worst sleeping positions#she complains about back pain and her dads are like#geez i wonder why#i love them so much
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I’m mostly staying off the Mouthwashing fandom bc I personally don’t want to put myself through whatever discourse is ever going on there. But know I love Anya and Mouthwashing is one of the best games I’ve played that had an SA survivor AND was respectful about it!! The abuse Anya suffered is never portrayed as a spectical for the audience to leer at. They use the art of implication VERY well, and in the end Anya gets to go out dignified. She’s not just Jimmy’s tradgic victim, she’s her own character who makes her own decisions. Jimmy doesn’t get to kill her, she expresses her own agency to do so. She’s also the one who kept the gun away from him for so long. Also she’s SO fucking strong, she’s so cool. Anya I love you.
Also the game’s overarching (but subtle) commentary on rape culture, enabling, and how capitalism almost makes a set dressing for it is peak.
#there’s the easy fandom stuff I don’t like#like the idea Curly is ethier ‘did no worng’ or ‘did his best’#don’t get me wrong I LIKE curly#but he is COMPLICT in what happened to Anya and how it was handled#the bug theme of the game is take responsibility#also I think the fandom thing of ‘Swansea would’ve killed Jimmy if he had known’ has some… weird implications#like Anya didn’t need some big man savior to kill Jimmy for her#she needed Curly her BOSS to side with her and prioritise her safety#Swansea is cool- don’t get me wrong#but the implication everything would have been ok had Anya just told her OTHER (more of a ‘real man’) co worker#feels… icky?#Like I think he would’ve helped her but honestly? he was Jimmy and Curly’s subordinate too#I do think he would have pressed curly and helped Anya#but I’m the way he did in canon- as a supporter#maybe it would’ve been different if he knew Anya could survive#but honestly him letting her go out how she chose and then killing her abuser is based#bc like only Daisuke was going to survive in their minds#but you can tell he gave Anya power in the planning#maybe I’m reading into it#oh and also Anya should get to kill Jimmy with a hammer and then get a free abortion (paid by Curly- TAKE RESPONSIBILITY)#I do think he’d pay if he could- he understands what it’s like to be under Jimmy’s power now#Curly should also pay for her nursing school#as a thank you for being a saint and keeping his ass alive and in the least amount of pain she could#she’s a real one#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#also hi def mentioned this on my blog before (bc it’s helpful to be semi-open about it to get rid of shame and embarrassment I find)#but the way Anya is handled is very personal to me as a SA Survivor <3 and that’s the lens all of this is coming from-#she deserves the world
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*Baps you. Baps you. Baps you. Baps y-*
Remember y'all. Caffeine is a stimulant. Stimulants typically have opposing affects on those with adhd. If a demigod drinks black coffee they ain't getting a burst of energy. At most they're going be able to focus their adhd more. Or just get tired and have heart palpitations.
Will is not staying up because of 100+ coffees. My man is awake out of determination and pure spite. The fact he hasn't snapped is a miracle.
Also. They're probably low on iron. Get those kids some supplements.
#mine#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pain rambles#will solace#coffee#adhd#adhd things#actually adhd#actually audhd#seriously tho#i do mean this affectionately#but chat#why do you think non adhd people take adderall to be hyped up?#its a stronger stimulant#My mom literally gave me sugar free caffeine drinks until she could find better way to control my adhd as a kid#because the meds they gave made me worse but the teacher was on her about that I needed it and the doc was no help#i was drinking Starbucks for a bit at 7-8 years#and my teacher THANKED my mom for the putting me in meditation after the doc already took me off and i was drinking those#my mom was five secs away from killing someone all 6 years i was at that school tbh
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