#and bc everyone else in the class is shy and quiet i need to like try to ask questions for the teacher n shit

[steaksex]

Today sucked ass and penis. Clearly the healthy thing ti do is repeat my self hypnosis trigger until i dont need to worry about having a brain or being a person

[justkindalivin]

Shotgun

a/n: AHHHHH hello!! I’m Lottie and I've been so horrifically obsessed with dealer Ellie that it's not even remotely okay. I had an idea for a fic and instead of requesting it from someone else, I decided why not write it myself! I’ve never posted any fics before bc I’m lowkey ass at writing so if any dialogue is awkward or the grammar is bad I'm so sorry :(  Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it, have a great day I love you ♡    part 2

I kinda modeled the reader after me subconsciously, so the reader is a bit shy and bi (sorry to my lesbian baddies I luv yall, its only one line). Also, I just made up a random roommate named Sam, very sorry if your name happens to be Sam. 

Summary: After being dragged to a party by your roommate, you escape out to the porch for some air. Not realizing it was already occupied, you end up having a lot more fun at the party than you thought you would 

warnings: language, modern!au, dealer!ellie, weed, shotgunning, collage!au, things get the tiniest bit spicy (only a tad)

wc: 1.6k 

-------------------

The music pounded in your ears as you pushed past all the sweaty bodies in the middle of the room. Parties had never quite been your scene, but Sam had begged you to come with her and that girl does NOT take no for an answer

This all started with Sam bursting into your shared dorm, ripping your headphones out of your ears, and standing beside your desk with her hands on her hips. “Bitch, you never come out with me! It's like all you do is sit in the dorm all day, you gotta get out there!!” She excitedly screamed, pulling you to your closet to pick out what you should wear. 

You and Sam had been randomly paired as roommates but quickly got close despite how different the two of you seemed to be. Sam was always out at parties being social and seemed to know absolutely everyone on campus. You on the other hand... well were almost the exact opposite. You always joked that you were like the crotchety old man of your floor who only left for food or class, and just wants all those damn kids to quiet down while you’re trying to sleep. 

“Sigma Nu is throwing tonight, you HAVE to come with me. I’ll be lost without you please please please!” 

Sam was, in fact, not lost without you. She had practically ditched you the minute some frat boy asked her to play pong with him, leaving you alone and painfully sober in a sea of drunk college kids. As much as you loved Sam, she always seemed to do this whenever you come out with her. She’d beg that it wouldn't be fun without you but would leave as soon as you got there and you’d be stuck on babysitting detail for her drunk ass for the rest of the night. After about the fifth push and second drunk couple not noticing you leaned up against the wall and making out basically on top of you, you decided to leave in search of some desperately needed air. Weaving through sweaty drunk people should be a fucking Olympic sport because holy shit- you barely escaped with your life. After going through the kitchen, you finally found your way to a sliding door, quickly getting it open and stepping out into the cool night air. 

“Jesus christ why did I fucking come here,” you say under your breath, leaning against the porch railing and putting your head in your hands “And I can't even leave because I have to make sure Sam’s okay- god damn it”. Scrubbing your face with your hands, you look up at the sky and get lost in your own head until the sound of someone clearing their throat startles you. 

You quickly whip around, hand on your chest, to look at the other person who has also been occupying the porch without your noticing. A girl with short auburn hair and beautiful green eyes stands leaning up against the house. Her face is dotted with freckles and she’s wearing a comfy-looking flannel over a plain white tee, one hand shoved into the pocket of her jeans and the other holding a joint between two fingers. She is, without a doubt, one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen. You’re so entranced by her that you barely even notice when she says something to you. 

“oh...uhm- what?” you oh so eloquently reply, internally debating if you should throw yourself off the porch to make your escape from this awkward ass interaction. The girl smirks as her eyes scan you up and down- if you didn’t know any better you would think she was checking you out. 

“I said are you good? No offense but you kinda seem like you're freaking the fuck out” She repeats, smirk still present on her face as she brings the joint up to take a drag from it, blowing the smoke in your direction.

You blush, embarrassed that someone had been witness to your mini breakdown. “Yeah, I’m good. It's just a lot, you know? I don’t go to parties too often.” As soon as the words leave your mouth you cringe internally. Don’t go to parties a lot? You seriously couldn't think of anything cooler to say? Way to embarrass yourself in front of the hottest chick you’ve ever met. Your downward spiral continues until the girl breaks the quiet with a chuckle

“I get that, frats aren’t really my thing either but I get good business here so... here I am”. You nod your head, looking back up at the sky. “I’m Ellie, by the way. What's your name gorgeous?”. Your face feels like it's on fire, your brain practically short-circuiting trying to process that this actual goddess just called you gorgeous. You quietly tell her your name and when you look back at her, she has a wide smile stretching across her face. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

Holy shit this girl is going to be the death of you. You’re sure that your face is going to melt off from how hard you’ve been blushing, the ability to speak has left you altogether. You’ve had flings in the past, with both boys and girls, but no one has ever been so brazenly interested in you. You find yourself desperate to know more about her, maybe run your hands through her hair and cup her face as you lean in for a- WOAH. You’re goin wild right now, you need to cool down

“So um... what do you sell?” You ask, trying to change the topic and give yourself some time to chill out. Ellie looks at the joint in her hands, then back at you with raised eyebrows. “Right right, sorry stupid question” you huff while looking down, embarrassed yet again by your lack of rizz. Ellie lets out a full-on laugh, pushing herself off the house and making her way over to you.

“You ever smoked before, pretty girl?” she asks while leaning on the railing next to you, so close you can feel the heat radiating off of her. Looking up, you’re surprised to see that her face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching. 

“A few times, not a ton. I cough a lot though, so it's kinda embarrassing to do it with other people”. Ellie taps off the ash at the end of her joint, seemingly contemplating something before turning her attention back to you

“Well if you’re down to smoke, we can try a different way that maybe will help you cough less. That is, only if you want to”. You’re surprised by how quickly you accept her offer, asking her what she had in mind. Ellie moves from beside you to directly in front of you, planting her empty hand on your waist and bringing the joint she held in her other hand up to your face. “Okay, so it's called shotgunning. Just open your mouth after I take a hit, sound good?”. All you can do is nod, mesmerized as she brings the joint to her lips. The moon reflects off her soft skin, the end of the joint burning a deep orange as she inhales. After her hit, Ellie looks over at you and you do as she said. 

Flicking away what little is left from her blunt, Ellie cups your face with her now empty hand and brings her mouth to yours. As she’s kissing you she blows the smoke into your mouth, but you can barely concentrate, too focused on the feeling of her lips on yours. After only a few seconds, Ellie pulls away but keeps her forehead pressed to yours and you blow the smoke in her face as you both giggle.

You reach up and brush away a bit of hair that had fallen to cover Ellie’s eyes, running your fingers down the side of her face until you are cupping her cheek as well. You look at each other for a beat before you both lean in, lips meeting again. Ellie caresses your cheek before her hand moves to join her other one on your waist, finding their way under your shirt and stroking the skin there. She tries to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip which you playfully deny. Suddenly, Ellie pulls away for a moment to lift you up onto the porch railing. Your legs fall open and Ellie steps between them, connecting her lips to your neck and kissing down the side to your collarbone. Letting out a breathy moan, you grip the hair at the base of Ellie's neck and throw your head back. 

-SCHWOOP-

The noise startles you and you pull away from Ellie, much to her annoyance. Looking at the sliding glass door, you notice some obnoxious frat boy has thrown it open. 

“Hey, you deal right? I need a pre-roll if you have em”. Talk about a fucking cock block. Ellie all but growls into your neck, whipping around ready to give this dude the verbal thrashing of his life when you stop her by placing your hand on her shoulder. 

“It's okay, I need to find my roommate and get going anyway. But um... do you have your phone on you? Maybe I can give you my number and we can do this again sometime?”. Ellie smiles at that, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and handing it to you. Feeling bold, you give her one last kiss on the cheek before heading past the frat guy and back into the house.

You really hope she texts you. 

----------

an: tf kinda noise does a sliding door make? Def not schwoop but thats all my brain could come up with lmao. so thats my first ever fic, my writing could use some work so i’m def open to any feedback! Stay super freaky, have great vagina, I LOVE YAAAA 

[hanaasbananas]

saw a post earlier about how well behaved you were in school/how often you got in trouble and I can't find it again BUT it made me think of a couple of times I got completely REAMED by my teachers.

NUMBER ONE

One time when I was in year 6 so..11? I think? it was 2008/9, I'd just discovered Fruits Basket and was practically in love with Kyo Sohma. That's fine, right? Perfectly normal experience

UNTIL we got set a homework task to write a short 1000 word essay on any subject and what did I choose?

Well. I chose to copy and paste the ENTIRE Wikipedia article about Fruits Basket. The whole thing. And then I painstakingly went through my entire document, removing every single hyperlink so that "Mrs M won't know that I didn't write this and will be so impressed by how much i wrote". ARE YOU SURE. ARE YOU SURE HANAA

she did notice. Almost immediately when I rocked up with a STACK of paper and everyone else had like, one page and I still had the GALL to show off "how much work I did" to everyone else on my table. where is this confidence NOW??? when I NEED IT.

anyway turns out my friend ALSO plagiarised her paper about tigers but she didn't take out the hyperlinks so we both got yelled at for 10 minutes during break, absolutely sobbed our little hearts out and then were told to wash our faces and calm down in the last 5 mins lmaoo

I think the funniest part of this story is that Mrs M ended up being one of my favourite primary school teachers, though I never plagiarised a Wikipedia article again.

NUMBER TWO

The second instance I got absolutely WRECKED by a teacher was in year 8 dance. Yes, dance. I absolutely LOATHED dance. Despised it. Was absolutely HORRIFIED when I started secondary school in year 7 and found out it was MANDATORY for two years.

(Essentially all subjects are mandatory until u choose ur gcse options, at which point you only do the core subjects aka maths english science and then 4 other subjects of ur choice. most schools have u choose options in year 9 bc year 10 is when you sit your gcse exams but THANK GOD my school made u choose in year 8 so you could have a practise run with the subjects you chose in year 9 and change them if u wanted to)

I didn't mind doing drama, (though i HATEd having to take ur shoes and socks off in the classroom), didn't mind ICT or food tech or graphic design or DT or geography. I HATED dance.

And also, unfortunately when I started my secondary school the lessons were LONG. The day was from 8.45-2.45 (unless you were an older student and had later lessons. Having a maths lesson at 2.45 and watching everyone going home SUCKED.) and for the first 3 years while I was there each lesson was AN HOUR AND A HALF. NINETY MINUTES. So you only had 3 lessons a day if you finished at 2.45 but they were really painfully long.

(They did switch to 1 hour lessons eventually and and sometimes you'd have a double period of a subject but that was fine.)

ANYWAY back to the story- despised dance, had to do it anyway. I surilvived one year, but then I had a stricter teacher in year 8 and one time we had an end of year assessment where we'd been practising dance lifts all term and she gave us 45 mins to pair up and come up with a dance sequence that had lifts in it and then perform it to the whole class at the end.

and the thing is, I was (am) a little heavy. So I knew I'd be the one doing the lifting. No problem. Until it came to pairing up because I was shy and quiet I only hung out w two other girls.

do you see where this is going?

those two friends of mine (TRAITORS) paired up so I was left with another shy muslim girl who I vaguely knew as a friend of a friend. She was lovely, honestly but things Didnt Go Well.

and by that I mean she couldn't lift me and wouldn't let ME lift HER so we could come up with something, anything. and I was CHRONICALLY shy. so I wasn't about to go tell the teacher, then my partner would hate me!!

time comes to perform. all of us sit on the floor against the mirror as the teacher goes down the line and sees everyone's performance.

we were last

we had nothing

"what were you doing for the last 45 minutes then girls? everyone else managed to do it, why didn't you?"

i tried to explain as articulately as I could, which is v impossible when you are a 12 year old trying not to start crying as you are BEING YELLED AT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE (SILENT) CLASS. my partner didn't cry but she also didn't tell the teacher why she didn't let me lift her.

naturally, we were given detention. and this was in the time when detention was the same amount of time as a lesson. AN HOUR AND A HALF DETENTION. I was distraught. What would my mum say when I had to stay late after school? I'd NEVER gotten a detention before I couldn't believe it!!

the ultra humiliating part was this was at the end of the day and we all got changed in the dance studio, they had like, open lockers at the back to put your stuff in so I couldn't even leg it out of class at the end I had to get changed next to my classmates all while they're sneaking glances at me and I'm just. Sobbing.

I think the teacher did feel bad about how much I was crying though because she told us that she'd email us to let us know when the detention would be and never did. I skipped class the week after just in case she remembered but I escaped unscathed.

[moodywyrm]

moony i’m all over the place right now and i just need advice? comfort? unsure but..

i’m going to college soon, and i’m moving away from all of my family and friends. i don’t know what to do. i’m awful at making friends, i’m shy, i’m quiet, and i’m awkward, and the only reason i actually have something of a friendgroup is because i got brought into it by someone else :(.

i’ve never been able to have actual friends, even now, like i never get invited to their hangouts, and what makes it even worse is that when i invite them somewhere, they’re ALL busy with sports or homework, but then i see a few hours later that they all went out to do something fun. they never text me even when i make attempts to text them, they all have inside jokes that i’m never part of, and i’m so scared of that happening again.

i can’t even hold online friends - last time i did, we got in a fight because someone made up stupid lies and fabricated messages about me and then they all dropped me.

i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. do you have any advice?? :(

oh honeybee. (also im assuming your like just graduating highschool? or like a transfer? 18+ obvs) we're about to get kinda personal.

I was in the Exact same position. my entire first year was online bc of covid but when I moved here I had absolutely no one. when I tell you I was the exact same way, no friends of my own and terrible at keeping them, I mean it. by the time I moved to college in my second year i had just lost (or was about to lose) all but one of my online friends (who is now my best friend loml, the good ones will stay with you I promise) and only had one irl friend (my best friend of 10 yrs now). I was in pretty much the same position.

so my advice/words of not very wise wisdom: I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it won't be scary or sad for while because it probably will. college can be scary. it can also be wonderful! and freeing! you 100% have to get used to being on your own, enjoying your own company. it'll make the alone time so much easier. also, for the love of everything good in the world, don't shut yourself up in your dorm or apartment. I did for basically a year and it was miserable. go to the library, go hang out on campus, something! try to make friends in your classes, even if it's just for that class, you'll get more comfortable talking to people. and honestly, most importantly, don't lose hope and fall into the permanently alone I hate everyone mindset. I hit that and it SUCKED and then I met two of the most incredible, kindest people I could have ever met. and it takes a while!! don't expect to find friends immediately, genuinely just take some time to learn how to be alone with yourself, it will be so worth it. don't try to force yourself to be friend with people you don't really like, btw. it doesn't make you any less lonely, it just makes you sad.

I know it sounds scary and daunting, but it will be okay! and if you ever need big sister advice and comfort, im right here. I know it's scary, but you're there for a reason. it will be okay, I promise you.

im sorry if this wasn't helpful but I was in the same position for the first two and a half years of college before I met my friends

[chiiyuuvv]

assign your moots with their bias & a trope!! tell us why too 👀

(i’m curious bae)

↬ my mooties <3

@lunicho : seatmates!taesan

I'm not too sure where this comes from but I feel like you have very… interesting things to say. And although taesan is pretty introverted with his headphones in and all, I feel like he’d always lower the volume of his music whenever you’re in the same class. Que the laughs and agreements.. which turns into opening up to each other on a personal level.. to becoming friends that dont only talk in the classroom.. to confessing

@hyvelxve : love at first sight!mingi

Writing about your bae bc i can 🤭 anyways this was either going to be love at first sight or you fell first but he fell harder.. or vise versa?? Anyways I can defo imagine like.. you guys ride the same bus/train route, and he looks up from his phone when he feels a presence in front of him. turns out it's you asking for the seat next to him since the vehicle decided to become full of passengers that day. He agrees after a few seconds of blanking out because wow his breath is knocked out of his lungs at how beautiful you are!! Glances at you a few times before trying to discreetly pass you his number. Heavy on the trying. But you find his flusteredness cute <3

@rizzkisworld : besties to lovers!maki

Whenever I think of maki.. I always think that he's super energetic and loves to talk. So after a few fun conversations he would definitely consider you a best friend. This is kinda specific but I just have this thought that I think would suit you two 🤔 imagine it's a bus ride to a field trip or something and you both decide to share earbuds. But after watching you yawn a few times, Maki offers you his shoulder to rest on, his head resting on top of yours as he side hugs your waist. This would have to be more of a quieter maki.. but it stills cute, and it still makes your heart flutter 🤷‍♀️

@cupidseok : library!eunseok

Ik we just started talking but when i think of you.. I think very smart and like.. nerdy. Not like bad 🤓☝️ nerdy like but a sweet girl that knows a few things.. with a book against your chest. I know for sure that eunseok would find it super enduring, holding the urge to give you little pats as he watches you study. Happily ditches the boys to accompany you and buy you little snacks.. which builds up to taking you out to dinner although you tell him you didn't need it, then walking you home and being frozen when you lean on your tippy toes to lay a quick kiss on his cheek as a thank you for that day. He's definitely thinking about that little moment for the rest of the week

@yuniniverse : secret admirer!junghoon

Okay so like.. yuni, you are pretty loud and extroverted while junghoon is not right right?? But like he likes you a lot.. but is shy around you, so you’d never notice him since he's so quiet. And he knows your fixation on bows, so everyday he’d show up to school early just to place a new bow on your desk. Que the red boy hiding into his books while he bites back his smile when you find his little gift. And especially when you start wearing them daily, boy feels like he just fell all over again. Down the line, though, he builds up the courage to slip his number into one of the bows for you to find :3

@kehnarii : husband!fuma

I know everyone else's is more like crushes to lovers but I genuinely cannot imagine y'all not dating. Shockersss! Anyways I know I've said this before but imagine waking up to breakfast in bed, with the side of kisses and a little swipe of morning breath </3 With dates, the only thing I can imagine is at home movies and such, cuddling against each other as you do nothing. He'd defo propose to you during the sunset, but you didn't hear that from meeee 🙈

Moots I wanted to add but had no idea what to write :(( : @cherrycolaberry , @kpopnstarwars , @cake1box , @mxlly143 + just wanted to assure you that I still love you although I haven't written anything, I just wasn't able to get a good understanding of your personality + your bias

If I haven't included you and we are moots, that's only because we just met or haven’t talked.. like at all :)

[leoxxii]

so yesterday on my walk i was thinking bc you know like. mental health walks or whatever. technically mine are more physical health walks bc i dont get much activity time but whatever not the point.

so i was thinking about like. ok im not lonely but its like. i have a lonely existence. i dont feel lonely or alone but like, objectively i am, if that makes sense??

i dont really have friends. like i have mutuals on here but we dont really talk and tbh its like, definitely my fault for that. and i was thinking about how ive basically NEVER had friends. like i had "friends" when i was in preschool in kindergarten, but they were more just classmates than anything else. we didnt hang out after school or do playdates or anything like that. i was never anyone's first or even second choice for anything. i only got invited to stuff the entire class did.

and my family like moved a lot. at some point we moved back and i went to that same school again and even though my class like, recognized and remembered me, they all like... moved on. nobody wanted to be my friend anymore. and once again i think it was on me.

and i dont think im an asshole or anything like that, i think im just. boring. im quiet and boring. i dont do anything, my ideal day would revolve around me being completely alone. i dont dislike people, but im so far away from being a people person that its like. ruining my relationships?

and i was on my walk and i realized that like. i know lots of people. no scratch that probably everyone has felt out of place at least once in their life. but i genuinely feel like i have never fit in. and i think its bc so much of life and society and everything puts emphasis on social activity. and i just like,,, cant do it.

i dont like talking. like, i CAN. if i really really try i can force conversation, i can force myself to go along with things, but i basically never initiate conversation bc i just. i dont like it. i like silence and gift giving and actions to show love. ive never been one to say anything to signify my thoughts or feelings. its like... my family are the only ones im comfortable enough around to talk to, and even then its mostly just my sister and dad. and its definitely a rare thing. only when im really invested in whatever someone else is talking it.

but like. so much of friendship and just humans in general require TALKING. i cant be friends with someone i dont ever reach out first. i cant be friends with someone i dont talk to. thats just sort of how it seems to work. and ive never been that guy. ive always been told i was a quiet kid, that i was a horrible conversationalist, that i was too shy. and like i am i guess anxious around people a bit. but i dont know if i ever was shy. i think i just didnt like talking. thats just like. who i am as a person.

i do like my internal dialogue. like, im not just sitting in complete silence all the time. i just am content with my own company. i think. maybe thats why reading and writing are so important to me? i can write and write and write about the thoughts in my head but i hate trying to voice them to another person. talking into the void like this feels so much easier. maybe im just bad with people and i need practice. i dont know. but i think im just,,, not cut right for what the world wants a person to be. i dont feel like a social animal. i mean, id probably get lonely if i WAS fully alone. this isnt like some weird alpha man who needs nobody and cant rely on anything kind of thing. i know im probably just taking what i have now for granted. but. hm.

so its like. its weird. i cant do small talk, i cant fake laugh, i never have anything to talk about. i dont DO anything, because ive always been content being by myself. i need a couple hours of silence and alone time every day or i get stressed and miserable. and i know i need to just get over it and TALK to people and reach out first sometimes and actually be a person. but it feels so. impossible. its like im just bad it. i do a bad job at existing around people. is this just normal introvert behavior and im just stuck around extroverts my entire life? does everyone feel like this? is everyone just faking it forever? at my old job, people started to not like me and look annoyed whenever i showed up, because i didnt talk to them and was too quiet. i answered with yes and okay to most things and that was it. i just worked in silence the rest of the time. everyone else didnt like that. they wanted to talk to me. i made no friends. i barely made acquaintances. i feel like im just doing this whole thing wrong, but its like. i feel bad about not talking bc other people want me to. i dont WANT to talk more. im fine with this little bubble im in. it just sucks that i feel like im making other people feel upset or disliked or unwanted when thats not true!! i like being around people, most of the time, and i dont mind being talked AT. i just. i dont want to HAVE to add more things in just for the sake of talking.

i dont know. i forgot most of what i was thinking. this is mostly just like a dump of words and thoughts. ive been weird the past couple days. but whatever. i wont even delete this!! its just void talk anyways. its not even talk. im just typing to nobody. maybe its the expectations. god i dont even know anymore. tumblr's starting to lag from all this text i think. does any of this even makes sense?? i dont know if im like. articulating it well. as i said im not good with this kind of stuff.

ok well thats out of my system for now i think. bye void

[noxtivagus]

Anxiety

[taeghi]

volume 3 ☆ jake sim - the first love trope

"oh shit, sorr- wait you like one ok rock? "yeah?" "no way, what's your favourite song?!"

pairing : popular boy!jake x shy!reader

summary : you, a quiet girl who is the introvert of all introverts, never thought you would befriend the most popular boy in school by having the same music taste. what songs are you going to show him next?

word count : 23,900 something lol

includes smut

topics of insomnia, depression, cigarettes, quick mention of death (sorry) (maybe slight trigger warning bc of the death)

MINORS DNI

☆read the other volumes?

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology@person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams@liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou@shynypeacekitten @violevantae @rpkth @hime98 @fvryang @j4yluvr @heelariously @fireflies997 @rikipediaa @manaswisingh @pshwyfie @rikithebest @as-she-pleases

(sorry if i forgot anyone lol)

you have always hated busan. you hated the humid weather, the inconsistent transportation system, and, god forbid, the noise. but now, over the past few weeks, at least, you've started to enjoy the noise during your insomniac nights. you sit in your bed for what feels like the one hundredth time tonight, having nothing better to do than look out your window. the bags that have been accumulating for weeks under your brown eyes have started to grow into a shade of dark purple that harshly contrasts with your skin tone. your house has always been quiet. it started when your father left years ago. it seemed that no matter how many were home, the eerie type of quiet that had been set into the house, lingers. it's always clean and spacious, and no one talks unless they need to you haven't spoken to your siblings in weeks. there had been underlying anger between you that has been inherited like the freckles on all your cheekbones. you sometimes try to blame yourself for the falling out, but only your dad runs through your mind at the thought. your insomnia has been toleratable since it started through the summer. still, now that your junior year is starting in a couple of hours, the insufferableness is settling in. you wish you could sleep, if only for a day. on the other side of busan, jake lies awake in his bed, staring at his posters on the ceiling. he regret sleeping all day again because now all he can hear is his brother playing video games and the busan night coming in through his window. the sim house is usually always loud, even at night. jake's friends would come over, and they'd blast music and drink or talk about life events. jake's brother would sometimes join them, adding to the noise. jake has hardly left his room all summer. the thoughts are becoming too much, so he sleeps to get them to stop. things had been hard since isa had broken up with him. he looked up his symptoms and groaned when the word 'depression' crossed the screen. jake used to like busan. it was always busy and roaring with people, but now the noise adds to it all. he needs quiet. jake feels guilty for sleeping through the summer. but he doesn't have enough energy to do anything else. he wishes he couldn't sleep through a day, just for a day.

your hair is messy as you stand outside your school, your earbuds tangled as you look up at the building you despised so much.

you're not oblivious, you know that you don't look like you're the world's next top model in your oversized clothing, your hands shoved into the pockets of your unzipped sweater

you suppose everyone has headed to their second period class by now, so you're outside by yourself, the newly fall breeze starting to twirl around the city.

you look out onto the freshly cut grass field. it reminds you of the view from your bedroom window. it looks like your neighbour's clean backyard that he cares so much for. you then start to imagine that you're home. its quiet and you're relaxed. but that false relaxation turns into wondering where your family members are, and if they're thinking of you, at least in the slightless bit

the sudden voice beside you makes you somewhat jump, "what're you doing out here?"

you turn your head to the right and see a black-haired girl. you immiediatly notice how beautiful the girl is. her features suit her face so well and wish that you're own looked as good as hers.

"um," you state, noticing the angry expression on her face, her eyebrwos furrowed, "just, listening to music." you point to your headphones.

the girl nodded uncaringly before pulling out a cigarette and a lighter, lighting it before she puts it to her lips. "it's been the worst day so far, i hate school so much." the black haired girl suddenly rants, mocking the leaning position you were in against the wall. you nod in acknowledgement to her words. "what year are you in?"

"year 11."

"ah, so i'm your senior." the girl pulls her eyebrows up, "i guess i should be a good influence on you and tell you to get to class."

"i feel like i'd learn more out here than i would in a class."

a smile spreads across the girls lips, "i'm park chaerin."

"y/l/n y/n."

"yo, are you coming or what?" a boys' voice calls out suddenly. there's a boy with black hair pushed back. he's wearing a dark blue hoodie with the number 99 on it- realizing that he must be on the rugby team for your school.

"yeah, i am, can you not give me a second, jay?" chaerin replies, pushing herself off the wall and into his direction, inhaling from her cigarette as she does.

the boys'- jay- eyes you cautiously behind chaerin, analysing if he should say anything more while you're around.

"well i don't have all day to waste like you." jay replies, rolling his eyes.

"ugh." chaerin exhales the smoke, before throwing her cigarette on the pavement and stomping on it. "let's go. bye y/n!" she smiles at you, before walking away with jay.

you could hear jay scolding chaerin for smoking around him before turning the corner, neither of them glancing back at you.

over the first few weeks of school, you had somehow became close friends with park chaerin.

sure, she was a year older than you, and so much cooler than you, but you seemed to understand each other in a way that no one else has. she was quickly becoming your best (and only) friend.

you had learnt that she also comes from a not-so-great yet not-so-bad family like you. and she liked to cause some trouble. you most definetly weren't a goody two shoes- and you're grades were horrendous but not because you were stupid- but because you could care less about high school.

you learnt that chaerin was 'secretly' hooking up with park jay from the school's rugby team. at first, you had believed chaerin when she told you that it was solely sex, but quickly you learnt that there were feelings growing from her side- feelings that the imfamous park jay probably didn't reciprocate.

"god!" chaerin groaned out, sitting beside you against the concrete wall behind the school- the place where you had first met and had somehow mutally decided that the place would be your meetup spot. "did you see him not even look at me?"

"hm?" you asked, pulling out your earbud to hear the girl.

chaerin put her head against the wall, "stupid jay, i walked right past him and his stupid friends and he didn't even look. i mean i was right infront of him there was no way he didn't see me!"

you sighed, reaching out and patting your friends' knee. "maybe he didn't see you, why don't you ask him later about it?"

"i know what his answer is gonna be, 'what would the guys think if i looked at you?'." chaerin mocked in a deep 'jay' voice. "it's so annoying! he tells me he likes me and then pretends he has no idea who i am when we are in public!"

and chaerin's words are true.

park chaerin's reputation hasn't been the best at your school. she was known for being the 'bad girl'. the girl who parties a lot, and smoked a lot and had a lot of sex- which she says she hasn't but the rest of the school disagrees- and that she really didn't care about what anyone thinks of her.

chaerin thought she could live the rest of her life not caring about other people's opinions.

until she started hooking up with park jay.

park jay was the co captain of the rugby team. he was popular, and smart and athletic and majority of the girls and guys at your school wanted to date him. you could say that he was 'preppy' and comes from a rich family that owns a lot of buildings in your city.

chaerin didn't plan on falling for jay- and he most definetlly didn't plan for that either. it's not that he was necesarily embarrassed by hooking up with park chaerin- but he still didn't want people to know.

"i'm sorry chae, hopefully he will come to his senses." you tried to reassure her.

"no, hopefully i come to my senses and ghost his ass, maybe then he'll recognize me in public."

you smiled at her words, not getting a chance to respond, "he did mention that he told one of his friends about us, his best friend."

"oh really?" you asked, genuinely shocked at park jay.

"yeah, but he made the guy swear not to tell anyone else so i can't tell if it's a step forward or backward for us."

"it's a forward one, chae- now four of us know instead of three."

chaerin scoffed with a smile at your words, "yay, four!" she spoke in her usual sarcastic tone you had become familiar with.

she wrapped her arm around you, both of you looking out to the soccer field where a class of year 9's played a shitty game of soccer. chaerin smoked a cigarette as you listened to music- something the both of you had started doing together as you talked or sat in silence, waiting for the school bell to ring for another period to start.

you always liked listening to music. your interest had become a need to live over time since you listened to it so much. it broke the silence that had settled over you and your family. you found comfort in it

you needed music when you were alone, when you were in a classroom full of people that you didn't know when you were walking in the halls to a classroom full of people you didn't know.

music could allow you to daydream as well. you got so lost in music that it helped you cope with the harsh reality of your life. you could imagine up anything you wanted with your ears being blasted by your favourite- and not so favourite songs.

and maybe that means it's not always such a good thing to do when you are walking around a bunch of other people while you're losing yourself to your daydreams because you crash right into someone, and your phone goes flying onto the hallway floors, ripping your headphones right from your ears.

you were more concerned about the ache in your ears and a possibly shattered phone than the person you had bumped into you, jaw going slack as you watched your phone slide across the hall.

"oh shit." you heard someone cuss, taking a step towards your phone before a person beats you to it. "sorr- wait, you like one ok rock?"

you finally glance up at the boy who is now holding your phone, your headphones wrapped around his hand as looked down at your screen. he had shaggy brown hair and a pretty smile as he looked at you.

"uh, yeah?"

"no way, what's your favourite song?!" he exclaimed, not caring about the other students glaring at the two of you for standing in the middle of the hallway.

you couldn't focus on this question as you just continued to stare at your phone, wondering why he was still holding onto it so tight. when you didn't answer, he looked down at his hand gripping your phone and headphones.

"oh shit, sorry again." jake almost startled himself, hurriedly handing over your phone.

"thanks." you nodded to him, rolling your phone over to see no scratches or cracks on it, noticing that the ambitions album by one ok rock was paused on the screen.

"y/n!" you heard chaerin's voice call you from behind you. you turned around and saw her face twisted into frustration. "let's go outside." she put two fingers to her mouth, signifying that she needed a smoke.

"o-okay." you nodded to her, quickly putting your headphones back in your ears, starting to rush to chase after your best friend through the halls to the back. "oh, my favourite's nobody's home!" you called over your shoulder to the boy, who only stared you with a confused smile on your face, watching how fast you ran for your upset friend.

you didn't stay to hear his response, taking his nod as a good enough answer before you made your way to your usual spot outside with chaerin, ready to hear what park jay had done now.

a day after bumping into the boy who knew one ok rock, the realization hit you on how cute he actually was and how much you embarrassed yourself by literally bumping into him and then making him pick up your things for you. you didn't even say sorry to him!

you tried to remember if you had ever seen the boy around before, but your mind drew blank. his casual sweats and distressed plaid shirt didn't seem to be a fashion sense that you recognized around your school- nor did the pretty smile and brown hair.

you especially didn't think anyone would be interested in what music you listened to or what your favourite song was.

it had you up at night for even longer than usual. at least your insomniac brain had something nice to think about for once- a boy to imagine late at night as you listened to music and stared outside your window.

since that day, you had tried to find the boy in the hallways, just a glance at him and maybe see who he hangs around with. but you never did. the brown shaggy hair was nowhere in your vision, and it made you slowly forget about him after a week.

you think you had almost forgotten about him when chaerin sat beside you abruptly against the concrete wall. today, cheerleading practice was occurring on the field in front of you.

"jay said something weird last night" chaerin shrugged, plopping her bag beside her as she dug through it.

"about what?" you asked her, taking out one of your earphones.

"you."

"me?"

"yeah," chaerin pulled out a lighter from her bag, turning to look at you, "his friend said he saw you with me and asked jay about you."

"what?" you asked again, sitting up straight, curious as to why you were ever a topic of discussion to anyone.

chaerin lit her cigarette, "yeah, jay said he didn't know anything about you, though; he said his friend seemed annoyed at it."

"who's his friend?"

"that sim jake guy, he's on the rugby team, too."

"sim jake?"

"yeah, you haven't heard of him?"

you shook your head no, confused as to why a boy on the rugby team would want to know about you.

your high school took sports very seriously. so as soon as you were accepted onto one of the sports teams, you would instantly be popular and accepted into a great university with a great scholarship.

"why would this sim jake guy want to know about me?"

chaerin shrugged, "beats me. he said something about bumping into you in the hallway."

bumping into you in the hallway.

"holy shit." you cursed, shock ripping through you when you realized who this sim jake guy must've been. "the one ok rock guy."

"the who?"

"i did bump into this cute guy like two weeks ago; he liked this same band as me, i didn't realize he was on the rugby team!"

"you think he's cute?" chaerin's jaw dropped.

"wait- not like-."

"oh my god! you think sim jake is cute?" chaerin squealed loudly, her voice bouncing off the school's walls.

"shhh!" you shoved her, "be quiet! i saw him once for maybe 30 seconds; you cannot be going around saying i think he's cute or something!"

"okay okay." chaerin giggled at your embarrassed expression, "and hey, i don't care who you fool around with or who you date, but if things with jake do ever happen, just be careful because his and his ex had a messy break up- shits still not resolved and it's been like five months."

"who's his ex?"

"lee chaeyoung." chaerin nodded towards the cheerleaders on the field, "isa. she's in my year."

across the field, lee chaeyoung, who went by her preferred name as 'isa' stood a top three girls who all held her up in the air, her navy blue cheerleading uniform contrasting against her pretty, pale skin.

you knew isa was the most popular and prettiest girl in your school; it was hard not to notice her in the halls. it was as if everyone in the hall would stop and watch her walk past them, her beauty too controlling to look away from her.

"i didn't know she had a boyfriend."

you heard chaerin scoff at your words. "y/n, i'm sorry but you don't know much about anyone at this school."

you tilted your head in consideration of her words, "that is true."

you and chaerin laugh as you continue to watch the cheerleaders practice their routines, the comfortable silence taking over until chaerin speaks again.

"do you want to come over to my house after school, there's not much to do, but we could go swimming, my parents said it's the last weekend to use the pool before they close it for the year."

"Sure." you agreed before the silence settled in between you again before the fourth period's bell rang out.

now, the two of you are in chaerin's room. you're walking around, looking at chaerin's belongings on the shelves. chaerin's talking about some drama at school again, and you nod along, not really listening. you look at the pictures chaerin has on the walls of her family. over the weeks, you have heard a lot about chaerin's family; you know that they don't always get along, but you can't help but wish you had a family like this. at least they talk to each other.

"do you want to go swimming now?" chaerin asks from her bed.

"yeah, why not."

chaerin smiles at your answer and stands up to rummage through her dresser drawers before pulling out two bathing suits. she hands you a black bikini with a smile, "go change in the bathroom."

chaerin's black bikini was definitely chaerin's bikini as you looked at yourself in the mirror. chaerin was a lot more confident in her body than you were in yours. it showed a majority of your body and curves in a way that you weren't used to. you force yourself to pick up your dad's old smashing pumpkins t-shirt that you basically live in and slip it on your body before meeting chaerin in the hallway.

chaerin's little brother, cheol, asks to go swimming with you guys, smiling once you agree that he can come. you help him apply some sunscreen. cheol already likes you, and it's partly because he can tell how much his sister does. cheol has always looked up to chaerin, and it worries the family. everyone in their family looks at cheol like he is the innocent one of them all. like he is the one that won't be a screw-up like the rest of them.

chaerin and cheol ease themselves into the pool while you still contemplate whether you should go swimming with your shirt on or off.

"come on, y/n!" cheol shouts from the middle of the pool.

"okay okay, i'm coming," you climb the ladder and stand on the edge of the pool, looking down at your pretty friend and her brother, wondering how you became so lucky to become friends with a girl like chaerin.

"what. are. you doing?" a sudden deep voice says from diagonally behind you, startling you, so you fall straight into the pool: head first.

when you come up from the water with a scowl on your face for who was the culprit that scared you, the frown drops immediately when you see park jay and sim jake standing by the gate that leads to chaerin's backyard.

"we're swimming; what does it look like we're doing?" chaerin said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

you turned away from the two boys, pushing your now-soaked hair away from your face and trying to smooth it over your head. you wiped the cheap, shitty mascara you were wearing away that had most likely leaked underneath your eyes from the water.

"i can see that. why are you swimming in september, you're gonna be sick, and then i'll have to deal with that, too." jay spoke out in frustration,

you heard chaerin scoff in annoyance, "god, you are so condescending; we are just having fun."

"whatever, can we talk inside for a second?" you heard the water in the pool start to swish around as chaerin started walking towards the ladder, so she responded to jay's question.

the two of them walked inside, a towel wrapped around chaerin's body as jay kept glancing at jake to make sure he wasn't looking at chaerin's bikini outfit.

cheol bursts out laughing beside you, smacking the water, "did you see the way you fell into the pool!" cheol said through his laughter, "head first!"

a smile spread across your face at his statement, glad someone found your embarrassing moment funny. "hey, you better watch it! I'll throw you into the pool head first!" you splashed water at the younger boy.

cheol laughed and splashed water back, drenching you again. "who are you?" his voice spoke out. you opened your eyes from wiping the fallen mascara again and turning to see that he was looking at jake, who stood by the side of a pool with a pretty smile.

"i'm jake; what's you're name?"

"i'm cheol," he said proudly, "and this is y/n, my sister's friend." jake turned and looked at you at your mini introduction.

"i know who she is," jake smiled and nodded at you, "and i like wherever you are."

"jake! come inside for a second!" jay's voice called out from the now-opened back door.

jake nodded at you and cheol before smiling and walking to where jay had just disappeared.

it took you a second to figure out what he had meant- but then you realized it was an one ok rock song. it was a song from your favourite album of theirs- and a song that really meant a lot to you.

cheol splashing water at you again turns your mind away from the thoughts of sim jake likes the same music as you, and into a water fight as you continue to splash the younger boy with both of you muffly giggling.

jake and jay end up staying longer than jay had planned. jay realized that chaerin had no food prepared to feed you guys, making him suddenly want to cook for you all. he avoided jake's teasing eyes as he started to look around for some ingredients- and he most definitely avoided the love-sick eyes chaerin was giving him- he wouldn't dare lose himself in them when jake was standing right there.

jake now stands in the kitchen, watching you and cheol in the window. jay had left to go to the convenience store to pick up some final ingredients. chaerin went to her room to change into something more comfortable than her wet bikini. with it being the late afternoon, the sun's setting behind the houses, leaving the sky smeared with dark blues, purples, yellows and pinks. jake watches you on the edge of the pool, and he can't help but think that even with the sky being so many gorgeous colours, you are a million times more beautiful.

jay finishes the dinner quickly and hands a bowl of it to everyone. you help cut the pieces for cheol, as jay and chaerin talk or argue about something amongst each other.

you are chaerin's house again this week, along with her brother, jay and jake. you've become comfortable enough to just walk in. you get along with everyone, although you've never spoken to jake since he told you his favourite song.

it was somehow agreed between you four (five if you include cheol but chaerin said he has no say in anything) that you'd all just sleep at chaerin's house tonight. you weren't sure how to feel about it, never having a sleepover in your life. you can't even sleep at your own house, so you don't know how you'd be able to sleep in someone else's.

the night went fast as everyone seemed tired from the long week at school. chaerin and jay settled into her bed, leaving jake in the guest room, and you insisted on sleeping on the couch; you didn't want to wake up anyone with your constant twists and turns and humming.

jake, for once, struggles to fall asleep that night. he thinks he slept too much the day before- falling asleep right at 4pm when he got home from school and then fully waking up at 6am today. he lays awake in the guest bed, looking around the room, scanning the walls that he's never been in before. he's had a few sleepless nights before; it turns out that tonight will probably be one of them.

soon, jake has had enough of trying to get the sleep he probably doesn't need much of at this point and quietly hops out of bed and goes down the hall. he hears cheol's soft snores come from his bedroom as he walks by- and it makes him resent him in a way. he wished he could sleep like a little boy again.

in the living room, you're lying awake in your makeshift bed on the couch. you don't know if the reason you can't sleep is that you're uncomfortable sleeping in someone else's house or that you can't stop thinking about how big of a problem your trust issues are.

at this point, you just couldn't sleep- there was too much stuff on your mind. you got up to get your bag, careful to not cause a loud noise that would wake the people upstairs. you reach in to grab a cigarette that chaerin had given you a few weeks ago. you opened the off-white back door and walked out onto the small porch.

jake walked down the stairs and noticed the backdoor open, glancing over at the couch and seeing that you were gone. he walked towards the door to close it, figuring that you had left and accidentally left the door open.

jake saw you outside, sitting on one of the old wooden chairs as you looked out into the backyard. he watched you for a minute, trying to figure out why you were out there at this time of night. he creaked open the door, before stepping out onto the creaky plywood of the porch.

you jerked around, surprised that someone else was up at this time. you and jake looked at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do, and then you chuckled and patted the chair beside you for him to sit. jake closed the door behind him and sat down, copying how you were sitting.

"what're you doing up this late?" you asked, concern laced through your voice.

"couldn't sleep. what about you?"

"i couldn't sleep either."

you stuck your hand in the pocket of your hoodie and took out the cigarette and lighter. you stuck the cigarette in your mouth and lit it.

"you smoke?" jake asked, he knew chaerin smoked, but he didn't take you for the smoking kind.

"yeah," you shrugged, "it helps me relax." you exhaled and offered the cigarette to jake, which he refused.

you liked that someone was up with you at this time of night. busan always had someone up at this hour, no matter what, but it was nice to be up with someone beside you. the night was as calm as busan could get. the occasional train would go by, a car would drive down the street, and sometimes a laugh would echo around the neighbourhood.

jake liked that you were the one awake with him. every once in a while, he would take a little peek at you and notice something different. your cheekbones, the single freckles scattered around and how every time you inhaled from the cigarette, you closed your eyes, really taking in the moment. the smoke swirled around them, and the smell of your shampoo from your hair made jake wish that this moment wouldn't end, but he was starting to feel tired again somehow.

"i heard you're on the rugby team," you said, breaking the comfortable silence between you.

"yeah, and a few other sports teams."

"do you like it?"

"yeah, i guess. i liked it more when i was younger, i think."

the two of you went back to being silent again, both thinking of different things. jake thought about how his parents forced him into sports when he was younger and wished he had started playing an instrument instead. you think about what your dad and mom are doing as you sit awake with sim jake.

"do you ever want to leave busan?" it was jake, now breaking the silence.

"yeah, all the time."

"do you have anywhere you want to go?"

"madrid, in spain." you said, throwing your finished cigarette down onto the grass. "do you want to go anywhere?"

"anywhere in california with a beach."

"why with a beach?"

jake shrugged, setting his head on the chair behind him, "you know, hot beach chicks."

you scoffed at his response with a smile, "you think hot beach chicks would be into you?"

"well," jake thought for a moment; he had never been on a beach before, so he didn't know if he fit the requirements as a 'beach boy', "i'm sure one of them will be."

you nodded and laughed at him, "they said opposites do attract." you reached into your pocket again, untangling your headphones.

jake has thought about opposites attracting before- he's never been able to tell if it's true when it comes to people. jake's tried to imagine his 'dream girl' before, but it's always been someone that was similar to him- never such a different person. he thinks that maybe you're the closest thing to his dream girl- but he has no idea how truly different you two are.

you're tired and wish you could sleep- and jake is tired and wishes he couldn't.

but still, you sit outside on the porch, sharing headphones as you both listen to one ok rock, your minds drifting to different topics once again.

over the next few weeks, chaerin and jay started becoming closer. you didn't mind jay, but you didn't think that it was that great of him to keep chaerin a secret from everyone except for you and jake. the two of them were always around each other, and when they weren't, because jay had practice, chaerin would not stop talking about him.

jake and you started talking in passing in the halls or at chaerin's house when chaerin and jay would go up to her bedroom together. overtime, it felt like jake was becoming your only friend.

jake has been going to your house almost every day now. jake liked your house. it was quiet, and he felt addicted to it. your brothers don't come home until late at night, and your mother is always working. your family could also not stand the silence that had crept its way into their house.

the two of them were up in her room like usual. she was looking at her window on her bed, her elbows propped up on the sill. jake walked around her room, picking up some things he'd find and ask questions about them, only getting small answers from her.

slow music played from your record player. jake and you have found out that you share almost all of the same music tastes.

"did you sleep last night?" you had opened up to jake about your insomnia, so when he asked you this question, you weren't surprised.

"kind of, more than usual."

you like nights like these. the sun setting, leaving behind the neighbourhood for the night, and jake somewhere in your room with you. you like to think during times like this. you wonder what it would be like if you hadn't met chaerin- you probably wouldn't have jake then, either. you try to remember what it feels like to get an actual nine hours of sleep. times like these are only toleratable because of jake. you broke the silence that you've been learning to like.

"come on, i need to smoke."

the two have gone to sitting by the window and sharing a cigarette for weeks now. it relax's them, almost enough for them to feel okay. the bags under their eyes have begun to fade since they started hanging out.

they've begun to rely on each other, and it scared both of them. they feel as if they're the only ones who understand each other.

now, the smell of your perfume and smoke surrounds them as they stare out into busan.

"what do you want to be when you're older?" you ask, blowing smoke out the window. over the weeks, they've taken turns asking questions like this, similar to the ones they asked when they first sat outside on chaerin's porch.

"a singer, maybe an actor." his response shocked you, thinking he'd say some kind of athlete or coach. you liked the thought of seeing jake on your tv, another way that he could comfort her.

"what do you wanna be?"

"i don't know, i like psychology a lot."

"that would be fun; maybe then you could tell me what the fuck's wrong with me."

you chuckle and nudge jake, "aw, ya know nothing's wrong with you."

"i guess." jake shrugs and watches you inhale the cigarette. He notices that he's been happier, but only when he's with you. when you're gone, all he wants to do is lay in bed and sleep. or think of her.

"i miss dreaming," you confess suddenly; having twenty-minute quick naps doesn't allow you to really dream up anything.

"i don't. that's all i ever do- my mind doesn't stop with them it's like overflowing."

they go back to silence as jake stares at you again, taking in all your pretty features.

"what?" you smile once you notice him.

"nothing."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up at 7pm, successfully sleeping through the weekend again. he expects the morning light to be seeping through his curtains but realizes that it's too late for that. his thoughts turn to you, wishing that you were there with him. telling him that it's okay. nothing's wrong with you; your voice is in his head.

he's gotten used to waking up in your bed and seeing you awake by the window. you'd be smoking probably, and your earring's getting glimpses of the moonlight. maybe you'd be humming or painting your nails. but now, he's alone in his bed. the guilt begins to wash into him again. he closes his eyes and listens to his family rummaging around the house.

"are you asleep?" his brother, jaesung's, voice invades jake's quiet room. the light from the hallway lights up the room slightly. jake's eyes open, but don't look at his brother. too guilty for not spending time with him again.

"no."

"are you okay?' jaesung's question almost makes jake scoff. do i seem okay?

"yeah. 'm fine."

jaesung knows that his brother is lying. he's been worrying about him for months. the whole family has been. it hurts him. jaesung and jake have always been close. they would play video games together and watch movies. jaesung feels as if he's lost a best friend.

the older brother protectiveness is basically seeping off of him as he continues to watch jake lie in bed. it reminded him of his mother when they were younger.

"how's jay? or sunghoon? i haven't seen them around recently?" jaesung asks but gets no response from jake. "or how's that girl? y/n?"

"she's tired."

the almost silent hoarse answer from jake uneases jaesung as he tries to think of how to talk to this stranger he once knew.

jake used to party every weekend with his friends. he loved going out and brightening up any room he walked into. he liked being popular at school and having people cheer for him in the stands at any of his games. but now, jake feels like he'd rather stay in bed than do any of those things. sports have become a chore to him.

"do you want y/n to come over? i'm sure dad won't care."

"yeah."

and now you and jake have seemed to switch places. he's sat on his bed, tugging at the string of his blanket, looking out his window. and you're wandering around, looking at his trophies and medals on his shelves. it's the first time you've been to his house. his room is what you expected; messy, and there's clothing everywhere, papers thrown, and the posters that jake's collected over the years are peeling off the walls. jake hasn't been able to clean his room since the summer.

"your dad seems nice." you speak from across the room.

"yeah, i guess."

jake wonders about your parents. he's seen a glimpse of your mom before when he was on the way to your house. you don't talk about them often, usually changing the subject. he knows that they hurt you.

maybe that's why you and him bond so well; you both have sleeping problems and problematic parents.

"do you know what you're going to study in college?" you ask him, changing the subject.

"kinesiology," jake stated, "it's the only thing i could really go for with all my history in the school's sports teams."

you nod your head at his words, "i'm sure you could do something else; you'll be good at anything."

jake scoffs, "maybe not anything, but there might be something else for me."

you continue to stare around his room, trying to find something else to talk about before you stand up. "i think i should head back home now." you figured that you shouldn't overstay your welcome at the sim house. it was the first time you had ever been there, and it was already getting late into the night.

"you don't wanna spend the night?" jake asks, turning from his window to look at you, "i sleep at yours all the time; it'll be fine."

"i don't know, j." you shrug, "my brother's been home all day; he'll be wondering where i went to this late at night."

jake hums in agreement at your words, "that's okay; maybe next time then."

"yeah, next time." you take a step towards his bedroom door. "have a good sleep, jake." you smile softly at him.

"be careful walking home."

"i will, i'll see you at school."

you close his door behind you, and as you go, you can feel a ripping in your heart.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake and you sit outside on their school's field, eating lunch together and daydreaming while listening to music. there's kids eating lunch on the other side of the field- and there are others that are kicking a ball around.

Halloween is just around the corner, and the weather resembles the holiday perfectly. it's gloomy, and leaves have fallen to surround you in a daze. although it's lunch, it feels like dusk. your jackets are zipped up, and you're sitting close to each other.

you pick up your sandwich, and your mind starts to wander off again. you think about sleep and how it feels. you wonder if your brothers are okay. you wonder if they think about you. you hate thinking about them like this because you know they aren't. they've never been the closest siblings, especially not now, with your parents basically abandoning you. being the youngest in your family, you feel like the rutt of them.

you would like to have a family like jake's; wealthy, loving, and they don't avoid each other like the plague. you know about his dad and his brother, but you've never really heard about his mom. you wonder what it must've been like to be held by a dad who loves you.

you watch jake out of the corner of your eye. the way he slowly eats, too caught up in his book to read fast. you wonder if he'll do his homework for once or go instantly to sleep when they get to your house after school. you wonder if he sleeps better at your house or his.

the breeze picks up and ruffles jake's books' pages.

"are you scared of anything, jake?"

he stops and looks up at you, pausing before he answers, "planes or turbulence. stuff like that."

"why?"

"uh, i'm not sure. maybe that's how i died in a past life."

"ah, you don't believe in that shit, do ya?" you nudge him with a smile.

jake does, if more than anything, he does .he thinks about how his mother used to talk about her fear of cars.

"what are you scared of?"

"ghosts." you smile at each other, jake shaking his head at you before returning to his book.

-

their walk home is spent by both of them complaining about how it's too early in the year to be so damn cold. her hands are freezing, and she wants to reach out and grab jake. but something forces her not to. she knows how jake feels about girls getting too close to him. it triggers some memories of him and his ex. she likes his warmth, though.

the past week, you had been sleeping for a bit, but only when jake's there. it's the warmth from him, you conclude. you finally feel not alone. his light breaths and the noises from busan remind you that you aren't going to be alone forever. you like knowing that jake will be there when you sleep.

when you step into your house, your brother, soobin, is sitting at the table. he's reading a textbook and looks deep in thought. he glances at you two and mumbles a quick 'hey' before you guys head upstairs to your bedroom to do your usual routine.

later in the night, jake is lying down on your bed. his eyes are closed, but he's not asleep. he's listening to you hum along to a song you both like as you lay down on your crossed arms on the window sill.

you were thinking about how jake used to date lee isa, the cheerleader. you never heard anything about her from him. he's told you about everyone in his life except for his mom and isa.

jake's listening to you hum until you're not, making him open his eyes and look at your slumped-over figure. "what're you thinking about?" he knows your habits so well now.

"you," you answer nonchalantly.

jake smiles and closes his eyes again, "yeah? and what about me?"

"you and isa." jake's smile drops at the mention of his ex's name.

"why are you thinking about that?"

he sees you shrug at the window, not looking at him, "you never mention her."

"well why would i mention her? we broke up months ago."

he hears you hum in response from the bottom of the bed where you sat cross-legged, "did you love her?"

jake sighs at your question, rubbing his face in annoyance. he hated thinking about chaeyoung. he blames her for triggering his sleep problems. he blames her for him falling out of love with sports. he blames her for why his whole life isn't fair.

he knows it's not right for him to blame her for everything. but he can't help it. blaming someone else is so much easier than blaming yourself.

"are you tired?" he asks you, avoiding the question you had asked.

"i'm always tired," you mumble into your arm, your eyes closed.

jake tsks, "i meant, are you tired enough to try to sleep."

you pause and think for a moment, "i could maybe sleep."

"come lay down then." you hear jake ruffle the blanket behind you, flipping it over, so you crawl in your blanket beside him.

your heartbeats quicken as you go under. the scent of jake completely taking over you even though you're in your bedroom. your back was facing him, trying to not get too close to him. you knew this was a bad idea, but when his arm reached around you to pull you close, tightening his grasp on you, you just couldn't get yourself to push him away.

jake's thumb found a way to slowly rub circles on your stomach that was showing due to jake's hoodie being pushed up your body from lying down. you that knew you should be stopping him, but you felt the calmest you have felt in years.

jake instantly fell asleep, having the best sleep he has had in a long time. you tried to sleep, but even though you were comfortable, you couldn't stop thinking about isa. you remembered a month ago when chaerin told you she and jake had a really messy breakup. the way jake changed the subject from her and being in love didn't sit right with you.

you felt like you knew mostly everything about sim jake, but you felt like he was holding something big back from you. you felt like you were holding things back from jake yourself.

you finally closed your eyes and fell asleep in jake's embrace, hoping that when you woke up, everything would still be okay between you two.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next day when you both woke up, it was okay between you two. you got ready for school and walked to school together. you didn't see your brother on the way out, figuring that he had already left, and possibly didn't even spend the night.

things at least seemed normal between you and jake. at lunch, chaerin came and sat with you outside. you hadn't seen the black-haired girl for a week, having been too caught up with her boyfriend. you figured that jake would make his way out and sit with the both of you, but he never came.

you thought that maybe he figured you wanted some alone time with your best friend. but chaerin didn't really feel like a best friend anymore. all the times you had hung out at her house and skipped classes together felt like nothing to you.

"jay said he wants me to meet his friends, finally." chaerin said, grabbing the cigarette from your hand and putting it in her mouth. "and god, when did you become such a smoker?"

you shrugged, "when is he going to get you to meet them."

"he didn't say." you rolled your eyes at her obliviousness that jay was definitely not planning on introducing them all any time soon. "and why do you keep looking over there? Are you waiting for someone?"

"what? no, sorry."

chaerin quirked an eyebrow up at you, "how are you and jake anyways?"

"me and jake? we're fine; what do you mean?"

"what you saying there's nothing between you and jake? i know you guys hang out a lot."

"we're just friends, chae." you rested your head against the cement wall, looking at your friend.

"mhm." chaerin smirked at you but decided to leave it.

-

jake didn't meet you at your locker at the end of the day like he usually does, so you can walk home together. you waited twenty minutes before you realized he probably wasn't coming and you should just go home.

your mind began to worry that maybe you had upset jake- or weirded him out in some way last night. it was the first time that you two had shared a bed together and had gotten some decent sleep- or at least you had gotten some sleep; maybe jake didn't.

he didn't answer your text when you got home from school, so you figured or more so hoped that he had just fallen asleep and that he would get back to you later.

but actually, jake had left school early.

he went to tell you that he was leaving at lunch, but he saw that you were sitting with chaerin and didn't want to bother you. plus, he knew that you would want to leave too if you knew he was leaving. and jake just wanted to be alone for a minute.

jake woke up with anxiety in his chest that morning with you laying peacefully beside him. the scene honestly reminded him of chaeyoung and how many times they had slept together back when jake had an actual normal sleeping routine.

it made jake think of your question the night before 'did you love her?' and it honestly made him feel worse.

the whole reason he and chaeyoung broke up was because jake didn't say those three 'special' words back to chaeyoung. she gave him time to find out if he really loved her, but time didn't help those feelings develop. if anything, they stayed stagnant even more.

their breakup was messy since everyone in the school knew about the two of them dating. isa was a popular cheerleader, and jake was a popular athlete. he thought that chaeyoung and he were really similar, but in fact, they had nothing in common besides the fact that they were both popular.

chaeyoung lost herself in the high school popularity like jake used to. it was their breakup that brought jake out of that reality. he wished he could've stayed in it a bit longer-

but then he wouldn't have met you.

sure, he would've maybe seen you around since he knew you and chaerin were friends, but he definitely would not have gone out of his way to talk to you- especially if he was still dating isa.

jake liked hanging out with you. it was different than when he was with chaeyoung.

because while he dated her, he realized that when they were in public, he was dating isa, but when they were in private, he was dating chaeyoung. and he couldn't keep up with her double life.

with you, it was so much easier. you were yourself so he could be himself. at least, he tried to be. at least he could be.

the whole messy breakup that involved the whole cheerleading team scowling and glaring at him every time one of them saw him, and all of his team members annoyed him by asking, 'how could you let the hottest girl in the school dump you?'. It all had an effect on jake, and he thought that he was working on it- and it was easier to work on it since he was with you all the time.

he's started to rely on you, and he's scared. he doesn't want to put his all into someone just for them to walk away- he thinks maybe that's what chaeyoung felt with him. but now he's too tired to think anymore, and he just wants to go to bed.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake shakes awake on his own later on. the guilt and anxiety bubbling up too much within him that it wakes him up. he feels hopeless and stupid. why can't he shake this sadness away that has him feeling like he's sinking?

jake looks across his messy bedroom at his old rugby jersey and can't figure out why he's lost so much interest in it. he used to love running around and playing with the ball, nowadays, he can't even pick it up.

his first thought is how he wants you. but he knows tha tyou're dealing with your stuff. he thinks to himself that he's just another bother to you- and he can't have himself relying on someone else.

and now jake is hysterically crying. for months, he's been feeling like he's been holding all of this in. it's like he's crying out his whole thought process. he's shaking in his bed, and he can't seem to stop.

"jake?" jaesung's voice invades his bedroom again like the week before. "what's wrong?"

he doesn't get an answer as jake continues to cry. he can't even see jaesung because of the tears overflowing. it's not like he wants to anyways. he's been hurting his first best friend for months now.

jaesung sits down on the bed beside his younger brother. a hand resting on jake's shoulder, rubbing circles and shushing him.

it takes a few minutes for jake to calm down, jaesung staying with him the entire time- to both of them, it feels like an eternity.

"move over; let me lie down."

the sim brothers lie on their backs and stare up at the posters on jake's ceiling that you had taped back up properly for him. it's silent between them. jaesung struggles to find words to say. he's never seen anyone like this besides their mom.

"mom's probably disappointed in me." jaesung thinks out loud, mainly to himself.

"why you?"

"because i've let my brother feel like this for so long." jaesung pauses before continuing, "i've tried to help you, but i just never know how." jake reminded jaesung of their mother so much. they keep their emotions hidden and never talk about it until it's too late.

jaesung hates it.

he hates that the trait has gone into his brother. a part of him wishes that he was the one to inherit it instead.

"i never know how, either."

it's silent between them again, until jake starts quietly crying again.

"i miss mom, jae."

"me too."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

soobin is sitting at the kitchen table when you come downstairs in the morning for school. he's already dressed for work, and it makes you scared to go downstairs- as if you were to you'd guys would fight like usual.

"hey soob," you say as you make your way across the kitchen to get your school bag. it's the first time in a while that you actually get to look at your older brother. soobin and you are only three years apart, which is closer in age than your oldest brother.

when you were younger, soobin and you used to look exactly like your mother. you all had the same eyes and lips and dark, straight hair. your oldest brother looks identical to your father- and you wonder if he even sees your dad when he looks in the mirror.

"are you going to school today?" soobin asked with a surprised tone, he knows how much you skip it.

"yeah, i am."

"going to all of your classes?"

"yeah, i am." you roll your eyes at him with a smirk.

the conversation with your older brother resembles how they used to be before your dad left. it was like you were still close brother and sister instead of strangers that were somehow related. you wonder if this would be the last time you'd see soobin for a while; him disappearing for a month is not uncommon.

"have a good day at school then, y/n." soobin stares at you, unsure what to say to you as you stare back at him with your hand on the front door's knob.

you smile at him, "i won't." you wish you could stay at home with your brother for a little longer, but school is waiting, and chaerin says she has something important to tell you. "see you." the siblings nod their heads at each other, and it already feels like they've gone back to being strangers.

-

at school, you sat through your lunch confused as to why you hadn't seen even a glimpse of jake. chaerin sat with you at lunch, where you only gave vague answers to her new rant of problems she's been having with jay that you're sure you've heard before.

you walked past the rugby team in the hall and didn't see that brown shaggy head of hair that you had analyzed so many times in your bedroom late at night.

you didn't even see park jay in the herd of athletes. the rest of them didn't like too familiar to you, but you've seen a couple of them in pictures on jake's shelves or in his phone that he showed you. the captain of the rugby team, lee heeseung, was the only one that noticed you scanning them as you walked by, earning a curious look from him before you walked away.

you saw chaerin at her locker farther down the hall, deciding to ask her if jay was at school today.

chaerin scoffed at your question, rolling her eyes and turning back to rummage through her locker for something.

"what?" you asked her, confused at her response.

"if you actually listen to me when i speak, then you'd know he wasn't here." chaerin stated, "and why do you suddenly care about my boyfriend?"

"because i'm wondering where jake is i-."

"oh of course," chaerin slams her locker door shut, "jake this, jake that, whatever! i know that you guys bonded over... whatever sleeping problems you have going on, but you didn't have to ditch me for your boyfriend or whatever. i didn't ditch you; at least i try to tell you things, but you're always caught up with jake."

"he's- he's not my boyfriend, chae."

chaerin scoffs at your response, shaking her head and looking away from you. "that's really all you got from what i just said?"

"no! i heard the rest! and i'm sorr-!"

"just leave it, y/n, i'll see you around maybe." chaerin turns on her heel and heads to class, leaving you standing alone in the hallway as the bell rings for last period to commence.

you really struggled through your last period, walking in late, earning a warning from your teacher, staring at your classmates and worrying about jake and chaerin on your mind throughout it.

as soon as the final bell rang, you went straight to jake's house. you've only been to his house once before, but you've walked him home a few times, so you knew exactly where to go. you wondered why jake hadn't answered your text all day when everything seemed fine the day before.

walking up to the house, you see a boy that you had learnt the name of through jake, park sunghoon, leaving jake's house. he looked tired and his hair which jake described as 'always had to be perfect' was messy. he sauntered down the porch steps and started walking down the street away from you, not paying attention to the Halloween decorations that people were starting to put out for the year.

you waited a minute, kicking the fallen leaves on the sidewalk before walking any closer to jake's house, contemplating whether or not you should really be doing this. but nonetheless, you walk up to the white front door of the sim house and knock.

an equally tired-looking park jay opens the door. he looks much different than how he usually portrays himself in the hallways at school and on the sports field. you almost laugh at the thought that this is what jake and you must look like to other people with his messy hair and dark circles under his eyes.

jay looks confused to see you standing there but still greets you, "hey, y/n." "hi, why weren't you at school today?" you looked up at the rugby player. "no reason, just didn't want to go." jay hated lying, and he hated people who lied. but he realized that he had been lying a lot recently, not just to other people but to himself. "is jake here?" you could hear jay's breath hitch as you asked the question he knew was coming. "um, i don't think you should see him right now. he's sleeping and was in a bad mood earlier." the silence between them was awkward and uncomfortable. you moved nervously on your feet, as if it was the first time you had ever spoken to jay all over again. still, you nodded your head, acknowldging what jay had said. jay looked over your visibly tense body. he scanned you from head to toe, watching your finger start to tap against your upper thigh. over the years, jay had come knowledgable to when someone tapped their finger against their thigh repeatedly: they needed a smoke. it was a common habit in the house he'd grown up in, "come on, let's go to the backyard."

- jay sat cross-legged, picking and playing with the leaves and grass on the ground. you lay beside him, blowing smoke rings. it was now a somewhat comfortable silence between the two, different from how it had been minutes before. you watched the mid-afternoon clouds roll against the sky in a somewhat slow manner, your smoke mixing in. "Did something happen last night with jake?" you broke the silence.

"i mean, he probably doesn't want me saying anything." you sat up as jay confessed.

"he doesn't want to see me?"

"not today, no. he's tired."

you sighed, "he's always tired."

you were sick of the game that jay was playing. you knew something happened, and you wanted to know what. your first thought was that you had said something or maybe sleeping in the same bed had triggered something in jake. if jake didn't want to be your friend anymore, he could've said it himself. you're used to people leaving.

so, you left jay playing in the grass and leaves and walked home. you held back the tears that were threatening to fall.

sim jake was now just some other person that left you behind.

but still, jake's sweet laugh echoes through your mind.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- it has been twelve days since you had last seen jake. you haven't been going to school. you don't see the point in it. the only reason why you went to school before is now gone. you don't think you could go anyways. you haven't slept for more than an hour in five days. the school has called your house to inform your mom about your absence, but it's no use because she isn't home. you've gotten used to the quietness again, and you wish you hadn't. you try to not think about jake, but you can't help imagining him lying beside you in your bed, laughing. his shaggy hair shaking with his movement and his warmth surrounding you. sometimes, you think you can really hear him calling your name, but you realize that it is just because you're sleep deprived.

today is halloween, and you knew what you would be.

you'd be alone like you have been for the past weeks.

you spend your days quietly in your quiet house. you listen to the chaos of busan from your window. most days, you smoke cigarettes and read the old poetry you found in your mother's drawers.

other days, you're in the bath, listening to the water run around you. you like to imagine then that you're starting fresh with everything. that when you get out, everything will be okay. but the only thing that will make all this okay is if jake would be there.

when you find yourself in your kitchen, you sit on the island looking out the window into the backyards of the neighbourhood. you sit there for a while sometimes and lose track of time so easily. you feel like you sit there for five minutes, but it's been an hour. everything moves by so quickly. you used to like being alone in the quiet, but now it's just so lonely.

tonight, the sky darkened quickly, and kids in Halloween costumes swarmed the streets. you kept the front porch light off, not wanting any kids to come knocking on the door. you sat on the couch, watching true romance. with the house being so still, you welcomed the company of the tv. the movie was at the part where clarence had fought alabama's pimp. his face being shown as bloody and his knuckles sore. you couldn't help but think of jake, knowing how hurt he got when his rugby team broke out into fights with the opposite teams.

when the movie ends two hours later, you fall asleep on the couch. the way you've been falling asleep recently is a lot different than how you used to. you're called up in a ball, a frown on your face. when you're actually asleep, you dream of jake for a moment.

it's always the same dream: he's alone in his room, on his bed, with an unlit cigarette in his hand. tears have been streaming down his face for hours, frustrated with himself for not being able to be who he used to be- that happy jake that everyone loved. then, you walk into his room. his face lights up automatically, and pats a spot beside him, motioning for you to sit with him. you curl yourself into jake's side, his arm over your shoulder. he lets the cigarette drop from his hand and onto his messy floor.

and then he falls asleep happily. you like that thought: the thought of how you're the only person-the only thing that can get jake to sleep with a smile on his face.

you feel wetness on your face suddenly.

"y/n? y/n!"

your eyes open, and you realize it's raining and dark outside. it feels like you have been asleep for days, but in reality, it has only been two hours. a sensation of coldness runs through your body, making you shiver.

a feeling of warmth being placed on your forearm makes you turn your head to side.

"jake?"

"are you okay?" you stare at him, not believing that after two weeks, he's standing in front of you. "come on, let's go inside." he wraps his whole body around you, trying to keep you warm from the rainy Halloween night.

-

you lay in your bed, blankets upon blankets cover you. your head is titled so you can look out the window, facing away from jake. he sits on a chair that he has brought up from downstairs.

he watches you, your eyes glowing from the streetlight through the window. the bags under your eyes have never looked worse, and he wonders how much you've slept in the past weeks.

it's been quiet for a long time between you two. jake notices that it's the same kind of quiet that's been shed through his house. his dad and jaesung are home more, but they barely talk anymore.

jay and sunghoon have been around a few times. heeseung even came with them once. jake can tell that something is wrong with them all- its like they're keeping a secret and he's the only one that's not in on it. he was still grateful that his friends came and checked up on him, but still, all he could think about what how happier he'd be if he was with you.

"how did i end up outside? how did you find me?" you finally speak, breaking the silence.

"you were standing at the corner, just staring. i saw you on my way back from the convenience store."

for the past week and a half, jake has been going to the small store late at night. he wanders the aisles, trying to find something to distract himself from thinking about you. he thinks it worked at first, picking up random chocolate bars and wondering where they had been before. Still, then he remembered he had seen you at his exact convenience store before.

it was the summer before, jay and him were there, picking out drinks that they could bring to the party with them, when the door's bell chimed, signifying that someone had come inside the store. jay was bent down, skimming over the pop flavours and reading them out to jake while he glanced over his shoulder at the door.

jake saw you start wandering the aisle by the cash register, smiling at the man behind the counter. jake remembers thinking how cute your messy hair was as it wrapped around your headphones. he thought you were cute with your shaky hands reaching out to place a single chocolate bar on the counter and paying.

jay distracted him then, handing him multiple bottles of soda for him to hold. he turns around just in time to see you leave the store, your messy hair turning the corner towards your house.

jake wondered then that maybe if he hadn't met chaeyoung that night at the party, he might have thought about you again, gone back to that convenience store and seen you, ask you about what song you were listening to. maybe then he wouldn't feel as shitty as he does now.

jay told him that you haven't been going to school either, which worried him. he wanted you to get good grades and graduate. he wanted you to go to college and study psychology. he wanted you to be successful and get out of busan unlike him, who would be stuck here forever.

jake's been in your room a relentless amount of times before, but now, he's sitting in this chair as if it's his first time again. your damp hair is sprawled out around your head on your pillow, your old, wet clothes are hung up in the bathroom, and you're wearing one of jake's old shirts that he had left over on accident a few weeks ago.

"i missed you, y/n."

jake smiles, the same pretty smile that you've gotten used to. it makes your chest hurt at the thought of how much you've missed it.

"did you?"

jake nods, "i thought about you a lot, and i'm sorry we had to stop talking for a bit."

it's silent in the room again until you throw open your blanket on one side, patting the spot next to you. "it's okay."

jake slides into bed next to you, covering his body up and now laying so your arms were brushing against each other.

jake closes his eyes, and you imagine that he's thinking about what it would be like if they had never stopped talking. how close would they be now? how many more inside jokes and songs would they have known?

"i'm really sorry though, i am. i just-." jake pauses, making you turn your head to you're looking at each other. "i had some shit to deal with, and i didn't want to bring you into it."

your faces are close to each other as you scan the other's faces. you've been close to each other like this before, but this time it feels different. it feels like you're being sucked into each other like you're slowly being pieced together forever. you bite your lip before asking, "are you okay now?"

"yeah, i am, but i-."

"then, it's okay. and let's sleep because i'm tired, and i feel like i can actually sleep tonight."

"why tonight?"

"because you're here."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake and you decide to skip school when you wake up the next day. the rain from last night has stopped and left everything dampened and feeble. it almost feels odd to be around each other again, like you're forbidden to be together, but there's nothing actually forbidding it.

jake falls into your routine almost instantly, sitting around your house in silence, but not alone anymore. you're smoking as he reads beside you; music from your mother's record player is filling the lack of conversation.

you want to ask jake what had happened exactly that made him turn away from you. you wanted to ask if it would ever happen again and if you should prepare for it. you had so many questions to ask, but you kept quiet. if he wanted to tell you, then he would. he's said he's sorry, and you aren't sure if you're just naive to believe it or not. but you do, and you're so glad he's back beside you.

you glance over at the book that jake found on the old bookshelf you have in your house. your dad used to read to you all when you were younger; he's the only one that ever kept up with the collection of books on those shelves. now, they go untouched- the first person to even look at the thing in years was jake.

he's picked up romeo and juliet, you can see the star-crossed lovers on the faded cover. the pages are yellow from the oxidation over the years- and it makes you think, when did your dad buy the book.

"why're you reading that?"

jake puts his thumb on the part of the page he was on and looks at you. "i don't know, it's good." you make a disgusted expression on your face, making him laugh. "have you ever read it?"

"no, but i know what it's about."

"okay well, i'll read it to you and then you can see what it's really about."

you shrug before bending over to the table and putting your cigarette out in the empty coffee mug. you move so that you're lying down with your head in jake's lap, romeo and juliet is just above your head as jake opens the book and begins to read where he left off.

..."my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. the more i give to thee, the more i have, for both are infinite."...

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

walking into school for the first time in three weeks was nerve-wracking. not many people at your school knew of your existence, but the stares you received made your hands shake in your sweater's pockets. they were most likely staring because sim jake had returned too and was walking next to you, but still, their eyes never left yours.

you couldn't tell if jake was as nervous as you. you figured that jake was used to being in the spotlight. he was used to having everyone's attention on him as soon as he walked into a room. but that was before he got depressed- before the dark, twisted thoughts started seeping into his mind and made him confused about who he really was.

you feel jake's hand slip into your pocket, latching onto your hand and lacing his fingers with yours. you figured he had felt your anxious behaviour beside him; it was something you had noticed he picked up easily ever since you became friends.

there was a split of students in the hallway, everyone moving out of the way when they saw someone coming from behind them.

isa stood in the middle of the hallway in front of you and jake. her high ponytail swung down and over her shoulder as she kept an unamused expression on her face. her arms were crossed over her chest, covering the school's logo on her cheerleading uniform. her eyes scanned you and jake, leading down to where jake's hand disappeared into your pocket.

jake ripped his hand away from you, seeing how isa's eyes turned darker at the physical contact between you two. your heart clenched at the action, but you knew it was probably for the best of your and jake's lives at the moment.

"hi, jakey." isa spoke with a fake smile on her red lips. jake answered with a quiet greeting back, trying to avoid her eyes. "so, who's this?" isa looked at you, "and why are you holding her hand?"

"we're friends." jake's statement is short but to the point and for some reason it makes your chest feel empty. like there's a dreading feeling growing there, and you aren't sure when it started.

isa's face contorts into a disgusted expression as she looks at you again. this time you can tell she's judging everything about you as her eyes look you up and down, resting longer on your hair before looking back to jake. "i thought you had a better taste in friends but i guess i was wrong."

you tried to hold back your laugh at her words, looking down at your shoes and biting your lip. she was so bold, so opinionated that she obviously didn't think more about her words before she spoke.

"why is that funny?" isa speaks to you, stepping forward, so she is right in front of you. you look up at her and can only shrug. "do you agree? are you self-aware that you look like shit?" the rest of the cheerleaders laugh behind her. "do you know what concealer is? god those bags."

"chaeyoung." jake warns with frustration.

"what?" she looks away from you, "god, you need some concealer too." she shakes her head and steps back from you both, "what the fuck do you guys do together to look so awful?"

"do you have to be a piece of shit?" you all turn and see chaerin standing beside you now, an annoyed look on her face as she stares isa down.

"oh great, the school's ashtray is here." isa rolls her eyes, and the students in the hallway start laughing.

"well," chaerin starts, pulling out a cigarette and putting it in her mouth, "at least i'm not the school's slut." the laughing stopped instantly at chaerin's statement.

"me?" isa points to herself in shock, "i'm the slut? what about you? you go around fucking everything in sight!"

"you better shut your fucking mouth, isa." jay cuts in suddenly, walking in front of you all to stand before isa. "just for once, shut up." you could see chaerin go frigid as jay spoke in front of you.

"what the hell are you doing, jay?" isa asks, her arms crossing over her chest again.

"i'm obviously telling you to fuck off."

isa scoffs, "and why's that? it's not like you've ever seen jake in months. all he does is run around with those two... things." she nods her head at you and chaerin.

"because he's still my friend," jay turns and looks at jake, making eye contact with you, "they're both my friends. and she's my girlfriend," he points at chaerin, "so like i said before, shut your fucking mouth about any of them, or better yet, just shut up about everyone and mind your own business!"

the students gasped when chaerin came beside jay, wrapping their arms around each other's backs.

isa scoffs once again before looking at jake over jay's shoulder, "you're an idiot for losing me, jake, i hope you realize that." she turns on her heel and disappears down the hall, her cheerleader friends following behind her.

the bell rings to start the day of classes, making the students groan and start heading to their class. it leaves the four of you in the hallway together. all looking at each other, unsure of what to say.

it's chaerin that breaks the silence first, "i'm sorry, y/n. for our fight a few weeks ago."

"no, it's okay. you were right, i was being a bit selfish when it came to my feelings."

"no, i was being selfish. all i ever did was talk about me, i never even gave you a chance to speak or ask how you are."

"it's okay, chae, don't worry about it."

"we're still friends?" chaerin asks sheepishly, playing with her hair nervously.

"of course, we are!"

chaerin grins at you before wrapping you up in a tight hug. "good! because you're like my only friend besides him!" she points at jay, who only rolls his eyes. "and i can't believe you stood up for us! where the hell did that come from?"

"she deserved everything i said," jay explains, "i don't know why she thinks she's so above everyone." jake stays quiet beside you, both of you watching chaerin kiss jay before they say their goodbyes to you quickly, chaerin pulling jay down the hall as they giggle.

"are you okay?" jake asks you, "i'm sorry for what she said, i should've said something, but-"

"jake, it's okay, i don't care what she said about me." jake nods, kicking the floor gently with his foot. "are you okay?"

"yeah, it's just weird that that was the first time I've spoken to her since we've broken up, i guess she's still mad at me."

"she'll get over it."

jake scoffs, "yeah, and hopefully soon."

"i'll see you after school, right jakey?" you ask, mocking isa's nickname for him.

jake only nudges you before walking away with a genuine smile. you watch him disappear down a hall before you head outside. you were already late to class, so you might as well just not go,

maybe you'll go to second period.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

it rains for the majority of november. everyday jake and you share an umbrella as you walk to and from school together. he holds the umbrella so you can smoke. sometimes you hold the umbrella as jake finds a good song to put on as you share headphones.

it still rains the day that jake has somehow persuaded you to go to a party with him. he has been feeling better recently. he's still quiet at school, but he spends more time with you laughing than he does reading and listening to music in silence. his smile makes you feel better, and you wonder if he's picked up on that habit of yours like he has with your anxious tics.

the sky is dark navy blue as you walk with jake to the party. the neighbourhood has been quiet for the rest of the afternoon; the night will most likely remain just as quiet. you wish you could say the same for yourself, aware that your night will consist of loud teenagers and the bass of probably shitty music that you nor jake are very fond of.

jake holds your hand until you arrive at the party, pulling his away when you step inside lee heeseung's house. you've noticed that jake doesn't hold your hand in public like he does when you're alone, but you don't bring it up to him, knowing that you probably won't like his answer as to why he does it.

jake says he'll see you in a little bit when you both find chaerin and then he's disappearing into the crowd of people that go to your school, but you have no idea who they are.

you and chaerin are sitting on some chairs close to a window at the backdoor. you imagine that it's just you and chaerin in this house, and you're waiting for jay and jake to return for you both. you ask her about cheol, and if he still wants to join the army when he's older.

the sun officially set an hour ago, so now the backyards are only lit up by the street lamps. there are a few kids in the backyard; a couple kissing on the bench swing, two girls taking turns drinking out of a wine bottle and a boy smoking by himself in the far back corner. even though the music is loud and every now and then there is a too loud of a scream from someone, it's relaxing.

you let your mind start to wander again. it's the first time in a while that you let yourself think about deep things. it starts with your parents, your mystery brothers and then jake.

you've thought about being jealous of jake's life every now and then. you almost always get over the feeling, but it still stays in your head. it's how he's always been popular and good-looking and how he gets the prettiest girl in your school to fall for him. it's the way that he can sleep while you can only sleep for a few hours if he's the one that holds you. you've heard him talk in his sleep a few times; the mention of the word 'mom' slips out his mouth the most often, followed by jaesung's.

you're glancing around the party then, easily finding jake being the centre of attention. you watch him, feeling creepy and guilty as you do it. it's like you're watching him from a time in his life that you weren't a part of. like he doesn't know you exist, and he won't want you watching him. it's almost like you're spying on him. he's laughing, throwing his arm over some guy you've never seen before but figuring that the two of them are friends.

you're wondering then what will happen tonight. will jake realize that he misses all the parties he's always gone to? will he realize that he doesn't belong with someone like you? you wonder if he doesn't need you anymore. he has been sleeping regularly and laughing more. you wonder if the change in him after tonight will be like clockwork; inevitable and easy to happen.

"y/n," chaerin taps your shoulder, gaining your attention. the girl's black hair is braided back tonight, letting her pretty facial features be noticeable. "are you okay? you're shaking." chaerin's still been keeping an eye on you for the past month. she's also noticed that jake's been feeling better, but you seem to stay the same. the dark shades of purple under your eyes have disappeared, but she knows you still aren't up to your best point yet.

you become aware of your shaking knees and hands, making them stop at once. "yeah, i'm fine." you brush your sweaty hands against the fabric of your jeans. you glance back at jake for a second, seeing that he's already staring at you now. you aren't sure if he caught the worried look on chaerin's face for a second or your fake smile at her afterwards, but he's nodding his head at you for you to go somewhere together.

"i'm gonna go with jake for a second." chaerin nods, leaning back in her chair again and relighting her cigarette. you walk over to the front of the living room, where jake stands waiting for you.

"you wanna go outside?"

the early december air is cold on the balcony of lee heeseung's house. you and jake sit side by side on the couch, your hands brushing against each other so that you both don't want to be the first one to grab the other's hand. your hair is down and messy again, something that is unpreventable but in a pretty way. in a way that jake is sure you have no idea about, but he understands it more than anyone else ever will. from afar, they most definitely look like just friends, but up close, it's evident that there is something deeper between them in natural light.

"what's your favourite song? of all time." you have listened to the same music since you were born. you grew up listening to your dad's rock bands and your mother's classic 80s records.

"probably something by the neighbourhood. or something that would piss my parents off. they don't like my music very much."

"they don't like rock or alternative music?"

jake scoffs, shaking his head, "most definitely not; they were always the good-two-shoes type of kids in high school and college- rock music was not something they listened to." you nod your head as you listen to him. "what's your favourite song? of all time."

you think, looking up at the starry sky and imagining yourself being able to only listen to one song for the rest of your life. being able to be content with that one single song. music was something that controlled your life; you couldn't do anything without it.

"i don't know, there's so many good songs. so many songs that make me happy."

"yeah, i figured you say something like that." jake laughs, taking a sip from his red solo cup.

'what does that mean?"

"it means that i've been with you almost every day for three months; if you don't have your headphones in then, you're using that old-ass record player."

"music sounds better on that old-ass record player."

"music sounds better when you're drunk." jake tips his cup up and finishes it; you only smile in return.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

the walk back to jake's house is silent besides your few huffs of struggle from holding jake up. he's too drunk to make any real conversation at the moment. you've both been sleeping pretty well lately, considering your old sleeping habits, and you wonder how jake will sleep tonight. you hope that after tonight the way he looks at you will be the same as when he watches you smoke out the window while humming.

when they get inside jake's bedroom finally, he plops down immediately on his bed. you see that his room is still undesirably messy as if he doesn't even notice it anymore.

jake strips off his sweater so that he's in his jeans and t-shirt. his hair is just as messy as your own as he flips over onto his back. the moonlight outside is shining through his window and is the only light in his room.

you watch him from the closed door of his bedroom, like the first time she did when she came over. you've never seen jake drunk before, but you've heard stories of it. he always made being drunk sound like something fun- but the memories you have with your drunk dad are the opposite.

"you're beautiful, y/n." he smiles that pretty smile of his at you, but his eyes are more slugged than they usually are.

you only scoff in response as you make your way to his bed, grabbing his duvet so pull it over him.

"do you not believe me?"

"not really, no." you said, tucking in the blanket,

"you are, though, so, so beautiful." jake closes his eyes then, and you're staring at him in the moonlight, taking in his cheekbones and heart-shaped lips. you want to tell him that he's beautiful, too.

"you're drunk." you stand up away from him. "i'm gonna go home so I'll see you tomorrow if you're not too hung over."

"don't go, y/n." you turn and stare at him, his eyes looking worried as your hand rests on the doorknob. "just spend the night, you know we sleep better when we're together."

you sigh and think about it; you've never slept over at jake's before. he smiles at you from his pillow when you're standing over his bed again, untucking the blanket you had just tucked. you're slipping in carefully beside him, his cologne engulfing you. jake tucks your hair behind your ear, moving it away from his face so he can see you.

"thank you." jake whispers out as if it was some sort of secret that no one else could hear.

you chuckle, "you don't have to thank me."

"yeah i do," jake nustles his face into your shoulder, "you're the reason i'm happy."

you try to think of a response, feeling your heart beat faster at the spoken words you had only imagined him saying before. before you can think of anything, you hear his soft breaths in your ear, his body going limp beside you as he starts to sleep peacefully.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up in the morning with a headache. the night before was the first time that he had drank in months, and he had drunk a lot. all he can think about when he wakes up is how thirsty he is, he needs an advil and where are you.

he reaches down on the floor beside his bed to grab his sweater that he had thrown off the night before, getting easily frustrated when he can't find it, forcing himself to sit up and look. he's taken aback a bit when he sees that his room doesn't even look like his room anymore. it's not necessarily clean, but the garbage and clothes all over the floor are gone, and his desk is tidy of any papers and pens thrown on it. he instantly knows that you did it; no one else would.

jake walks downstairs and finds you sitting at the table with jaesung and his dad. they're smiling as they talk to you. it brings jake a sense of something he's never felt before. he can't help but compare them to when they had first met chaeyoung. they weren't as happy to see her, they didn't like the way she acted or spoke or 'bossed' jake around.

the creaking on the floor under jake's feet made them turn and look at him, their smiles growing bigger when they saw him. "hey." they greeted him back, asking him how he slept.

jake stood beside you, and you stared up at him, "i'm gonna go now, soobin texted me, and he wants me home."

"okay, do you want me to walk with you?"

"no, i'm okay." you head towards the door, saying bye to jaesung and his dad. jake leans on the wall and watches you put your shoes and jacket on before opening his front door for you.

"thanks for getting me home safe and cleaning my room." jake smiles softly, almost like he's embarrassed to say thank you now.

"it's no problem." you step out onto his porch, "i'll see you tomorrow at school?"

"yeah, tomorrow, be safe, y/n."

"i will." you turn and start to go down the stairs of the porch until he calls your name once again. "yeah?"

jake scratches the back of his neck, "i uh, i meant what i said last night." you tilt your head at his words, "the uh, i think you're beautiful, and you make me happy, i wasn't just drunk and saying shit out of my ass."

you smile up at him, "okay." you nod, "i'll see you tomorrow, j. have a good sleep tonight."

"you too."

jake closes the door then, taking a deep breath for no reason in particular. he wonders how he will sleep tonight now that you're physically gone because he knows you'll be taking up his mind.

-

your mother is already home when you get home, and she is not in a good mood. you can tell how she is as soon as you get in the door; she's sitting at the kitchen table with her hand on her forehead, pushing back her hair. soobin is sitting beside, leaning back in the chair and looking like he wishes he could be anywhere but there.

they both look up when you close the front door. your mother looks like how she always does; angry but pretty.

"where have you been?" your mom asks, "i got home last night, and neither of you were here. Do you even live here when i'm gone?"

"i was at a friend's house, i slept over." you shrug off your jacket and hang it up, trying to avoid your mother's angry gaze. you glance at soobin who is picking at a loose thread on his sweater. you stand beside the table, looking down at both of them now.

"which friend is this?" your mom turns her nose up at you, "because you smell of men's cologne and cigarettes."

"jake."

"a boy? you slept over at a boys' house?" you mom exclaims, shock on her face. "were his parents home?"

you hold back a scoff at her questions, choosing to look away at the floor. "y/n, i'm talking to you." you look up at your mom with a bored expression on your face. "are you going to answer?"

"why do you care if his parents were home? it's not even like you're home or even a parent at this point." you see soobin look away with a grin on his face, knowing that your words were true and wishing that he could say the same thing.

"i'm not a parent? then who raised you?"

"soobin, yeonjun, dad."

your mother sighs at the mention of your father but chose to not comment on it like she can't even say his name for some reason. "has anyone even heard from yeonjun?" when it stays silent, your mom only sighs again. "well can you try to contact him, please? because i want him to know, i won't be here for christmas."

"you what?" you and soobin exclaim but not moving.

"some coworkers and i need to go to cuba during that week to sort out a few details about a business plan."

"so you're going on vacation on christmas?" soobin deadpans, shaking his head at your mother.

"no, i'm going on a business trip."

"in cuba." you point out.

"for a week." soobin adds on. "why can't you just leave after christmas?"

"because we need to leave on the 22nd." your mother shakes her head before standing up. it remains silent as she gathers her suitcase and jacket. "well, this is not how i expected to spend my day off. i wanted to come home to a house full of my kids and spend some quality time together, but instead, no one's home, and we fight! so thanks a lot!" your mother sighs, rubbing her forehead again because she's angry, "I'll see you later in the week. Hopefully, you'll be home then." she opens the front door, "and please, find yeonjun!"

your mom leaves you and soobin in the silence both of you have gotten used to. soobin avoids the silence at most times, spending nights at his friends' houses, his college or at his girlfriends' house. you're stuck in this house for another year; at least for some of it, you'll get to be with jake.

you don't exchange any words with soobin as he starts to get ready to leave the house for the day, not bothering to tell you where he's going because you're already making your way up the stairs to your bedroom, trying to process the idea of spending christmas alone. the only reason your brothers came home for christmas morning was so that your mother was happy- but now she's not coming, so it'll just be you alone in this sickly quiet house.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

you're used to spending the first days of winter vacation alone. your house is not only quiet during those days, but it gets extremely cold. you start this year's winter vacation the same way. you drink a cup of coffee, listen to your mom's classic records and take a bath.

you must take a bath during this time of year- it's become almost traditional for you. they make you feel cleaner and ready for the cold busan day.

after your bath, you usually sit on the couch, waiting for the day to be over so you can do your whole morning routine over again tomorrow until the day your brothers and mom come home.

this year, it's different. after your traditional bath, you smoke around the house, waiting for jake to come over. it's become traditional itself- the way you and jake lounge around your bedroom as if it's a vacation just for you. both of you take short naps together throughout the day, knowing that it will just mess up your sleep schedule by the time school starts up again in two weeks.

today, jake comes over while he's hungover. you smile at him as soon as he comes in, picking up on how his eyes are squinting from the sunlight reflecting off the snow outside.

jake's gotten used to the little routine you two have going on. it feels familiar and good. he's likes coming over to you sitting on the couch with wet hair, wearing one of his or your dad's shirts.

jake mumbles something to you about wanting to lay in your bed upstairs, away from all the windows down here that bring in all the sunlight that 'kill his head.' you follow him up your stairs as if he's showing you his house instead and plops down on your bed with a sigh of relief. he moves over, so he's against the wall, making room for you.

jake and you lay beside each other; he's telling you about the party he went to last night for park sunghoon's birthday a few days ago. he tells you he didn't plan on drinking that much, but sunghoon always convinces him to drink more. you stop responding to him after a while, getting lost in your thoughts. the thoughts about what jake does when he's drunk, and you're not around.

"what're you thinking about?" jake asks suddenly, putting his hand over yours to stop them from shaking, another habit he's picked up on.

"nothing." you shrug because it really is nothing; the things you think about you don't even know if they are true or not.

"no, tell me." jake moves over so he's on his side facing you now. "i know when something's bothering you, so just tell me."

"how were all the pretty girls at the party?"

jake scoffs at your question, turning his head to look at the window before looking at you again. "are you being serious?"

"yeah, i am."

jake stares at you for a moment, in disbelief at your question, "none of them were as pretty as you." you could only look up at your ceiling, not having enough courage to look at the boy beside you.

jake thinks ever since he met you, you've been insecure about how you look. and it's just something he's never understood. he thinks you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen. he wishes he could tell you that more, but every time he does compliment you, you just ignore him or change the subject. he wishes you could see just how pretty you were.

jake reached out and put his hand on your chin, pulling your face so you could look at him, "i mean it. you're the prettiest girl there is, and i wish you were at the party with me last night- it would've been more fun with you."

you shake your head, "no, i would've made it more boring by complaining about the music choice."

jake laughs before going back to being serious, "you're pretty." he can tell you're about to shake your head no again, so he decides to stop you.

his grip on your chin tightens as he leans over and presses his lips to yours.

it's a quick, soft kiss- a peck- and you barely feel it.

"you're pretty."

"j, i-." you're about to disagree again when he pulls you into a kiss again. this one longer, you could feel his heart-shaped lips against yours as you closed your eyes and relaxed.

"say you're pretty."

you pause for a moment, "i'm pretty." you sigh, making jake laugh as you shyly smile.

"say it like you mean it."

you pause again before stating, "i'm pretty."

jake hums in approval, "that's a good girl." he leans in for a kiss again, his hand dropping from your face to play iwth the string of your old sweatpants. when he pulls away again you both look down at where his hand is laying against your abdomen. "can i show you how pretty you are?"

you immediately nod, making jake chuckle softly before he unties your sweatpants and slippin his hands in over your panties. if it wasn't jake beside you, you think you'd be more embarrassed that you're wearing the purple cotton panties you've owned for maybe four years. but with jake, it's comfortable, and you know he won't think anything different of you as fingers slide over the cotton fabric.

you feel like you and jake had talked about everything except your guys' sexual history. it was a topic that you had thought about asking each other but never had the courage to actually ask. "have you ever done something before?" jake asks you, his lips pressing softly into your cheek and down your jaw.

"yeah," you sigh out, trying to suppress the urge to moan at the way his fingers started pressing harder into your clit over your panties. "b-but, it's been- a while." you feel jake smile into your neck at your confession.

"that's okay, baby, we can go slow." you nod in response to him.

jake slips his fingers into your panties, his fingers meeting your core finally. you're so wet for him, his fingers easily running through your slit. he presses into your clit, circling it with his index finger slowly.

"it kills me that you think you aren't pretty." jake confesses now, biting softly on your neck. "i wish you could see how i see you."

"no one-" you suppress a moan again, "no one's ever called me pretty before-you."

jake starts to slip his index finger into your core, feeling your walls clench around it. "it's probably because you intimidate everyone with how pretty you are," you can hear the teasing tone in his voice, "you intimidated me when i first saw you."

he pushes another finger into your core, his fingers reaching deep inside you, feeling all your walls as he curls them upwards.

you almost snort at his confession, "you thought i was intimidating when i- i, bumped into you and my phone went a-across the floor?" your voice was becoming high-pitched when you spoke.

you felt jake shake his head at you, "no, i thought you were pretty when you walked into the convenience store with your messy hair and eye bags." he spoke between each suck and nip at your neck, surely leaving some marks for others to see.

"when- was that?"

"over a year ago." jake shrugs casually as if he isn't knuckles deep inside of you. "i've thought you were pretty for a while y/n, god you even feel pretty; you're so tight around my fingers."

"please," you moaned out, not sure what you were being so polite about as his thumb started rubbing your clit.

you groan and start rocking your hips against his fingers. his fingers start to pump faster in and out of you, creating a pleasant burn up in your stomach.

his thumb continues to rub along your clit, his other hand playing softly with your hair on the pillow. his lips continue to kiss down your neck, his lips circling your collarbones.

"oh god," your hand flies down and holds onto his wrist, your head tips bakfc, your eyes meeting jakes as he looks down at you with a smirk on his face. "i'm gonna cum, jake." his fingers on your clit start to speed up.

"go on, baby, cum all over my fingers, i've been wanting you to for so long." he confesses once again, leaning down and kissing you as your body starts to go rigid from your orgasm hitting. your eyes flutter shut as your grip on his hand tightens.

jake slowly eases his fingers out of you, not wanting to overstimulate you. you watch as he puts his soaked fingers into his mouth, humming at the taste of you. "fuck, just as good as i imagined."

"that's so embarrassing," you whine, taking his fingers out of his mouth.

"what is?" jake laughs, playing with the string of your sweatpants again.

"i didn't know you saw me at the convenience store for the first time." jake laughs into your neck, kissing it once more before pulling away from you.

"well you looked pretty so it doesn't matter." you roll your eyes at him before rolling over so you can face him.

his hand is still playing with your hair, relaxing you. you feel like you could fall asleep and stay asleep for a while with how content you are in that moment.

"what are you doing on christmas?" jake asks suddenly, making you sigh at the mention of the holiday.

"i'll probably be watching re-runs of the same shitty christmas movies downstairs."

"with who?"

"no one."

jake sits up at your words. "what do you mean, no one?"

you roll onto your back again to look up at his shocked expression. you feel embarrassed to explain to him about your mom's actions. jake knows the basic knowledge about your dad, small stuff that you've brought up in passing, but you never speak about your mom. "my mom's going to be in cuba on christmas, i mean, she's in cuba right now and won't be back for a week, so."

"cuba?" jake asks you, "why is she in cuba?"

"a work vacation."

"where are your brothers going to be?"

"they only really come by on christmas to see my mom, so now that she's not coming i most likely won't see them."

"well you're coming to my house on christmas then."

you sit up at his offer, facing him, "jake no, i can't! it's like a family holiday, i can't be there!"

"yes, you can and you will! jae and my dad love you anyway."

you sigh, "i'll think about it."

"great!' jake leans over and kisses you quickly- like it's becoming a habit already and it scares the both of you in the best way possible.

"what..." you start, a quesiton coming to your mind before you're pushing it away.

"what?' jake asks, nudging you, "just say it! we've been through this before, i can obviously tell that there's something you're thinking about."

you pause, trying to think of the proper way to say it before you're turning towards the smiling boy, "what about, your mom? you never mention her, so, i'm just... curious."

jake's smile drops at your question, clearly not expecting the sudden mention of his mother. he lays back down then, his back flat on your bed, as his head lands on one of your pillows. you lay down with him, turning on your side to watch him. you're about to apologize for bringing it up, ready to reprimand yourself for not staying out of other peoples' business.

"my mom died," jake pauses to think for second, "three years ago now."

your reach your hand over and grab his. you've seen jake in tired states, sad states and angry states, but never like this. he looks like he's about to burst into tears and never stop. "i'm sorry, j." is all you can say to him.

"it's okay, you didn't know."

"how did she pass?"

"in a car accident, some drunk driver- both of them died."

"god, i'm so sorry jake." jake grabs onto your hand tigher, looking at you with a solemn smile.

"it's okay, really. i'm glad you know now, i like telling you things, even if they are shitty like this."

you two fall into silence again, your room becoming peaceful again. you can hear the winter wind pick up outside as the late afternoon glow fades from your room. You try to think about jake as much as you can before sleep seeps into you, taking over you and jake as your calm breaths mix together and your hands hold you together.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake wakes up beside you with a quick jolt. he hasn't woken up like this in a few weeks now. he can feel his heartbeat start to pick up, and his breaths become uneven. he wants to reach out to you and wake you up, tell you that he's panicking, but he doesn't- he can't.

he can't tell you that he's panicking because of you. his emotions are becoming too much for him that he can't be here anymore. he somehow barely manages to get off of your bed without waking you and slip out your front door.

he doesn't know what time it is, but he figures it's late with how quiet the busan neighbourhood is. there's a fresh layer of snow on the ground, and he can see his rigid breath in front of him in the air. his jacket his zipped up to his chin as he started to walk. he doesn't know exactly where he is walking until he's standing in front of lee heeseung's door and knocking.

heeseung opens the door with a tired-looking expression on his face- as if he had just woken up. his faded pink hair is standing up a bit as he looks at obviously panicked jake in front of him.

"dude, what's wrong?"

"can i come in?"

heeseung opens the door wider instantly, letting his friend in from the cold, winter night.

heeseung sits jake down in his bedroom. jake had been to heeseung's house multiple times before. he looked up to heeseung in a way he's never looked up to anyone before. he was the captain of the majority of the sports teams at their school, he's someone everyone can rely on, and jake's grateful he had someone like that at one point.

jake's sitting at heeseung's desk as heeseung is leaning against the wall on his bed. jake's looking around heeseung's room; it's been a while since he's been in heeseung's room. it looks different and cleaner, and there are pictures missing from the walls and books missing from the shelves. he notices the boxes packed on top of each other in one corner.

"i'm packing for college, i know we have some months left, but i want to get it out of the way," heeseung speaks quietly, noticing the way jake's staring at the brown boxes. jake can only nod at his friends' words, too much on his mind to try to make conversation. "so, are you gonna tell me why you showed up at my house at 11pm or are we just gonna keep sitting in silence?"

jake almost laughs at heeseung, the way he usually does, but he can't seem to make any noise or movement come out, "i've been talking to this girl."

"y/l/n y/n." jake jolts at how your name comes out of heeseung's mouth so instinctively. "what? everyone knows you're close with her now."

"right," jake nodded, remembering isa's standoff with you, chaerin and jay a month ago. "well, i fingered her."

heeseung scoffs and closes his eyes for a moment, trying to not laugh at the way his friend is obviously not thinking straight at the moment, "okay, and?"

"and then i told her my mom's dead.'"

"did you tell her that you're mom's dead before or after she came?"

"after." jake stated, "god, obviously after."

heeseung put his hands up in defence. "so then what?"

jake paused and thought about it for a moment, "and then i woke up not being able to breathe, and that's happened a few times before, but it's never happened because of y/n, and now i'm here because i didn't want to go home because then i'd think of my mom and i couldn't stay at y/n's because then i'd think of y/n." jake rambled on, heeseung only nodding along as he let his friend rant to him.

it was silent between the two teenage boys, heeseung trying to think of a way to help his friend while jake was thinking of you. heeseung and jake had been friends since year 9, both loving sports. it was obvious then that they had a lot in common when it came to almost everything, and it was obvious now how much they had slowly started to lose everything they had in common.

heeseung still loved playing sports and hoped to go professional once they graduated in a few months. everyone knew jake didn't want to do that- jake hated sports now and only continued on this year because he felt like he had to.

still, they had so many memories together that they remained friends, and heeseung wanted to help his friend at the very moment.

"so what's wrong with y/n that you panicked about her?"

"Nothing!" jake rushed out, clearing his throat before calmly continuing, "there's nothing wrong with her. i just- i don't- god hee! i don't know!" jake put his head in his hands. heeseung moved across his bed so that he was sitting closer to jake now.

"so, is there something just physical with you and her or is there, like, emotional stuff, too?" heeseung asked, trying to figure out why jake was being like this.

"it's, emotional. more emotional than physical- wait no! i guess there's an equal amount of them, but still i'd rather listen to her favourite songs with her and read to her and make her laugh than shove my dick down her throat. but i wanna do that with her too! but i'd take listening to her talk about her favourite songs than a blowjob. i think." jake rambled on again, heeseung really trying to focus and help rather than laugh his ass off at his friend's rambling.

"so," heeseung starts, trying to process jake's words and his response, "you... love her?"

"what?" jake gasps, looking up from the floor at his friend.

"shh," heeseung slaps jake's shoulder, "you're gonna wake up my parents. Be quiet!"

jake brushed his hair away from his face, "i- i don't know if i love her."

heeseung almost laughs at his friend again, "did you hear what you just said about her?"

jake thought about his rambled confession he just told heeseung, thinking about how he had described you.

"you love her, jake." heeseung repeated, noticing the look of realization slowly creep onto jake's face. "and you're panicking because you've never loved someone before; it's obvious, man."

"holy shit," jake sat back in his chair as he processes his feelings.

heeseung sighed out of relief, laying back onto his elbows on his bed, "great! now go tell her that! tell her everything you just told me!' heeseung pointed to his bedroom door, "well, maybe leave out the blowjob part- and the shoving your dick down her throat part."

"i can't go back!" jake yelled before getting slapped by heeseung again to be quiet.

"and why not?"

"because- because, i don't know! what if she doesn't love me?"

"well, then i guess you'll come running back here, so i'll keep my front door unlocked for you." jake turned and looked at his friend, that had a smug look on his face, "go!"

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

you had woken up maybe ten minutes after jake had left. you woke up to a cold bed, and an empty feeling started to grow in your chest. you sat up in your bed when you realized he wasn't in your room or your quiet house. the snow was picking up and covering your window, blocking the moonlight from entering your bedroom.

you brought your knees to your chest, playing with the bottoms of your sweatpants by your ankles. you weren't necessarily surprised that jake had left. he had sleeping problems of his own, and plus, you were used to everyone in your life leaving you.

it felt like he was just another one of those people again. of course, jake and you had gone through three weeks of not speaking before- but this time really hurt. at this point, you were aware of your feelings for jake. they weren't covered up in a friendship like the first time he had left you.

your feelings were clear to you- and maybe not (definitely not) to jake.

you sat your elbows up on your window sill, lighting a cigarette, trying to relax from the anxiety creeping up into your chest. you exhaled the smoke as you tried to find the perfect print of a snowflake on your window. you thought then that you would be spending christmas alone now after all.

it soon felt like you were going into a haze of sleep deprivation, anxiety and nicotine. the coldness seeping through your window is the only thing to comfort you and your mind into reality. you closed your eyes for a moment, resting your head on the window sill as the cigarette in your hand burnt out.

your thoughts were filled with jake and you. your imagined future crumbling down. your past together meant nothing to him as you thought about all the times you had shared your headphones, listened to him read and made each other laugh.

you seem to be reliving your past mentally, and you're stuck in it, trying to remember it all because, for a moment, it felt like that was the only thing you were going to have left with sim jake. your bedroom gets darker as the late night passes, the smell of smoke fading out from your room. and then you are woken up from the long dream you were living in for a moment, and you feel a tear slip down your cheek.

"y/n?"

it's his voice. it feels like you're still dreaming with the way it sounds. like you're memories, and sleep deprivation are playing a trick on you.

"y/n are you awake? i'm fucking cold."

and then he's silent again, the snow and wind outside being the only sound. his voice is coming from your bedroom door behind you.

when you speak again, your voice is softer than you remember.

"jake?" he doesn't answer. "jake, are you..."

"what're you doing?" his voice becomes clearer, and it becomes evident that he's right behind you and you aren't having some sick dream.

"say my name again, please?"

jake's quiet for a moment as he stares at your slumped-over body on your window sill, and then he carefully whispers to you, like he doesn't want to wake you after you have just fallen asleep,

"y/n."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - - -- -- -- -- --

jake crawled into bed with you afterwards, wrapping his arms around you from behind and pulling you down onto the bed with him carefully like you were going to break.

"where were you?" you ask, facing away from him as you let your body sink into his from behind you.

"i went to heeseung's for a second, i'm sorry. he kissed the back of your head, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to upset you." he kissed your head again, his arms tightening around you as if he was scared you were going to run away from him.

"i thought-" you tried to control your breathing, wiping away the tears falling down your face quietly, "i thought you had left me again- thought you weren't going to see me again."

"no no," jake shushed you, putting his head on your shoulder from behind, "i'm sorry, baby, i won't leave you again. i mean it."

"really?" you manage to ask out, your breathing coming back to a normal pace when you realize everything is okay still.

"yeah," jake states before pausing, "i love you."

and the words ring out into your quiet bedroom and ring around the walls until you're turning to look at him over your shoulder. he looks frightened but sure of himself at the same time. you can hear him harshly swallow as he looks at you, trying to figure out what you're thinking.

"you love me?"

"yes." jake quickly answers you, "a lot. and everything about you. and i've never loved someone before, but i know i love you. i don't want to be without you in this life- and i mean that." his grasp on you loosens as you turn to face him.

"i love you."

jake grabs your face, pulling your lips to his for the tenth time that day. both of you feel like you could never get tired of just kissing each other like this.

"fuck, i love you." jake grumbles out against your lips before kissing your again passionately.

"i've loved you for a long time, i don't think i've noticed until recently." you confess, pulling away from him. "i've never loved anyone before either, but i know i'll love you forever if you let me."

jake smiles at you, pulling you into kissing him once more. your hips instinctively grind into his, unable to stop the way he's making you feel at the moment. you've never felt so loved before by a single kiss.

your kiss turns into a loving and lustful one quickly. your hands running through his shaggy, brown hair that you've come to love.

"you don't know what you do to me, baby." jake mutters, his hand leaving your jaw and roaming down your side to rest on your hip.

you chuckle as your hands slide in between you two, going under his shirt and lifting it over his body. your eyes travel over his skin, loving how it looks and feels. so many pretty moles to memorize as you kiss his collarbones.

you roll over so that you are on top of him now. jake pulled you closer and started leaving wet kisses over the hickeys he had given you earlier. you couldn't stop the low moans leaving your lips as you started to grind down onto his bulge.

you both felt rushed but knew you had all the time in the world at that very moment. your hands started to travel down his stomach to where his sweatpants were loosened on his hips. he smiled against your skin.

jake's hands travelled underneath your hoodie, pulling it off to reveal your breasts. his hands instantly cupped them, tweaking your nipples as you arched your back into him.

"are you wet again for me, baby?" jake asks with a smirk. one of his hands slipped into your panties like he did earlier, this time more confidently as he knew your body enough already.

you bucked your hips in pleasure as he started to thumb quickly at your clit again. your body is still sensitive from earlier.

"j-jake." you whimpered out to him, arching your back.

you whined when he slipped his hands out of your panties.

"i want you to come on my dick this time, baby." jake explains to you, kissing you before flipping you over so that you are on your back. jake slides your sweatpants and panties off, and you hear his gasp as his eyes meet your fully bare body. he's almost unable to stop staring at you before you remind him to take off his pants.

you wrap your arms around his neck as you feel his hard cock start brushing against your wet entrance. you instantly let out a moan as he enters you. jake feels his eyes roll back at the feeling of your bare walls on his cock. he pushes deep inside of you, making both of you have laboured breathing already.

"you feel so good, jake."

"yeah, feels like i was fuckin' made for you." jake starts to thrust into you with a steady pace. his eyes never left you, wanting to see how you reacted to him fucking you.

"fuck!" you gasped once he hit a certain spot, your voice going into a higher pitch. you grasped onto his arm when jake started to fuck into your faster, hitting your newly found sweet spot every time.

you looked so pretty wrapped around his cock that he didn't know how much longer he could go with you tightening so well around him. he's thought about this for so long- he just wants to be as close to you as possible.

"jake." you moaned out his name. you clenched around him as his thumb started to circle your clit again. he started to thrust deeper and faster at the same time, allowing you to feel every inch of his cock.

"are you gonna cum for me, y/n?" jake moans out your name as well.

"y-yes! god, jake." you intertwined your hands with his, coming on his hard dick with a loud moan. jake couldn't hold back as he felt you soak his dick- his own cum releasing into you at the same time.

"f-fuck." jake groaned out into your skin.

both of your hairs' were messy as jake pulled out of you, watching the way his cum dripped out of you, leaking onto your bed.

he ran his fingers through his sweaty hair, a smile on his lips as he looked at your fucked out expression. "fuck, baby, you're so good. so pretty, too." his hand was still holding onto yours as you both looked down at your ruined legs.

"you're cleaning it up," you spoke out, your head falling back down onto your pillow- sleeping wanting to fill your body for the first time in months from pure exhaustion.

"of course, baby." jake smiled as he kissed your forehead, letting go of your hand to go to the bathroom to get a warm towel for you.

you felt jake clean you up and wipe your sheets before laying down beside you again, pulling your blanket up and over you before lacing your hands together- falling asleep in perfect contentment- knowing that when you both wake you'll be happy.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jake asked you to be his girlfriend a day later on christmas, not wanting you to feel alone on christmas ever again. he was right when he said his family loves you; they happily accepted you in with them on christmas day.

you seemingly fit in with not only his family but his rugby team members as well. officially meeting thee lee heeseung when you returned to school after winter vacation. they all seemed to love you- just like jake (and jay!) had said they would.

you and jake continued to spend your days alone in either his bedroom's, constantly finding new music to listen to together- creating new memories with all the songs. somedays, jake would make you tag along to a party with him, smoking out the window as he got shit-faced with his friends- happily knowing that you would walk him home and tuck him into bed with you afterwards.

you had always heard stories about not becoming friends with seniors when you were younger than them- and you quickly found out why you shouldn't when the last weeks of high school were approaching.

it was sad helping jake pack up all his things for college- he, like the rest of your friends, had gotten accepted to a college in seoul. you were happy for him! happier for him than he was happy for himself. he didn't want to go to college for kinesology, but he felt like that was the only thing going for him. he especially didn't want to go and leave you behind in busan.

on the day that he, jay, chaerin, sunghoon and heeseung had all planed to drive together to seoul, you presented jake with a gift.

it was a cd you had burned all your favourite songs on. because i couldn't tell you what my favourite one was, here's all of them :) - y/n

"fuck." jake said as he looked down at the cd, a warm but hurtful feeling playing along his chest before wrapping you up into a hug, "i'm gonna fucking miss you, baby."

"i'm gonna miss you."

"we're gonna call and text all the time! and i'll see you on christmas break!" jake reminded you and himself, pulling you into a passionate kiss before sunghoon honked the horn of their van to tell jake to hurry up.

"get in the car or be ditched forever!" sunghoon yelled out the window, "some of us haven't had our first love yet and want to get on the road to meet their first love!"

you laugh into jake's lips as you pull away from each other.

"i love you." jake says sadly, scanning your face quickly as if he's gonna forget it as soon as he turns around.

"i love you."

sunghoon honked the horn again, "come on!"

jake and you let go of each other's hands sadly, watching as jake got in the car, waving goodbye to them all as they drove off down the street- leaving you alone in god forbidden busan.

and you've always hated busan.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

your insomnia got worse than ever before when jake left. it was something you couldn't deal with anymore. you had to stop going to school in fear of hurting yourself accidentally by the lack of sleep you were having.

you had started tossing and turning in your twenty-minute sleep so much that you were waking up with bruises all over your legs and arms. you continuously had nightmares about jake- and how he's going to leave you.

the long-distance relationship worked between you and jake for the first few months. you celebrated your one-year anniversary together on christmas- buying each other matching headphones.

you continuously told each other that you loved each other- everyday over text. even if you hadn't spoken during the day, you could always count on him for texting you those three words.

you think now that, over time, you had lost the meaning of those three words with jake. you used them so much that both of you didn't even realize when you stopped loving each other.

you think you noticed it first on valentine's day after your one year anniversary. when it took jake all day to call you and say he loves you. jake got busy with school- and he got depressed about school. he told you a little bit about how he was feeling a first- how he hated the classes but needed this degree so he could get some sort of job.

after a while, it felt like neither of you knew anything about what was happening in the other's lives. you only knew the shell of the people you use to be and knew that you should say 'i love you' to each other.

your breakup happened not long after valentine's day- when he had forgotten your birthday. it had been a week or two since you had even spoken on the phone with each other- forgetting each other's voices at that point.

it felt like your heart was being ripped in half when the clock hit midnight for the next day to begin, your birthday finishes and not a single call or text from jake had appeared.

you waited three days for a frantic spree of texts to be sent, saying how he's sorry and that he loves you, he's sending you a present right now and so on.

you didn't respond to any of them.

he called and called for a week, finally giving up when you hadn't answered after the 100th time.

jake ❤️ : i'll get you out of busan y/n, i swear i'm sorry. i love you

you didn't answer that text either, and ended up blocking your first love.

when you graduated a few months after your first-ever breakup, you went to seoul for college. soobin helped pack up your things and sent you on your way by train. you could tell that soobin was a bit sad to see you go- but at least he'd have the house to himself for once.

it took three days before you saw someone you recognized on your school's campus; park chaerin.

you hadn't really spoken to her since jake, and you had broken up. over time, she had become more of jake's friend than your own.

"holy shit." chaerin said as she saw you standing in front of her in front of the school's fountain. she looked like she had seen a ghost. "y/n! what the hell are you doing here?" she wrapped you up into a hug; she tried to ignore the eye bags under your eyes and the awful paleness of your skin.

"i got accepted here, so, yeah." you sheepishly responded.

"holy shit." another voice spoke out behind chaerin, jay and heeseung stood there, their jaw almost on the floor when they saw you. they ran and hugged you as well- jay lifting you off the ground before placing you back down.

after a few minutes of catching up, you asked the question everyone knew was coming, "so uh, is jake, around?' you asked them, your hands shaking on your sides and you knew if jake saw you he'd know you were about to pass out from anxiousness.

"uh, no." chaerin spoke carefully, "he dropped out a few weeks ago."

"he said he was going to busan." heeseung added.

"busan? when?"

"three days ago."

"three days ago?!" you yell out, the noise from the fountain not making your voice too loud.

you groaned when you saw them all nod in agreement. you put your hand on your forehead with a sigh of frustration and anger filling your body.

of course, you had to leave cities at the same time.

-

jake knocked on your door three days before that day, anxiousness filling his body at the thought of seeing you again after seven months. he wondered the whole train ride back to his hometown how you would react when you saw him standing on your front porch. he thought maybe you'd punch him, yell at him, or simply not open the door.

he was not expecting a pissed off soobin to answer the door instead.

"what the fuck do you want?" soobin grunted out to him.

"uh, is y/n here?"

"nope." soobin said curtly, looking at jake as if he was ready to close the door on his face already.

"where is she?"

"seoul."

"seoul?! why?!"

soobin shrugged, "couldn't stand to be in busan anymore."

jake rubbed at his face in shock, not believing his luck.

"is there anything else you want to know?" soobin asked the younger boy. jake only shook his head no, "great."

soobin slammed the door in his face.

the last time you saw sim jake was four years ago. when he kissed you goodbye on new years and told you he'd see you that summer.

he did not see you that summer.

none of you had known where sim jake had gone after he left seoul. you had all figured he went to busan, but none of your friends that had stayed in your hometown had seen him.

you ended up staying in seoul for four years to finish up your music production degree at college. it had taken a lot from you, physically and mentally. your insomnia had gotten better over time, but you had started using your restless nights as a way to be productive and get your shit together instead of smoking your nights away.

during your years at college, you had stopped being friends with anyone you had been friends with in high school. you had all fallen out of touch with each other- none of you realize that the only person that kept you together was jake.

the last time you had seen park chaerin was across the cafeteria during your third year at college. she had grown out of her 'gothic' phase of dressing and makeup style, looking more mature instead. apparently, her and jay had stayed together- they graduated together, but you haven't seen them since then.

lee heeseung dropped out of college during his second year- only six months of his first year. he had a major opportunity to play football in america, so he took it in a heartbeat. he knocked on your dorm the night before and told you the news. he hugged you goodbye and wished you the best as he took a final look at those godforsaken purple bags under your eyes.

when you had finally graduated college- you were done with seoul as well. it felt like you just hated korea altogether- you didn't belong there- everybody and everything was the same.

you took the first job opportunity you got that wasn't in korea- but california. it was for a record label you hadn't heard of, but decided to take a chance on, maybe you could help the label a bit with your producer abilities.

it had been four years and seven months since you had seen sim jake- and you hadn't forgotten a single thing about him. he went through your mind several times a week- even when you knew he shouldn't be when you were in the middle of an exam.

it had been four years and seven months since you had seen your first love- and you were not expecting to see him on your first day at your first job in california.

sim jake still had his pretty smile and brown eyes. his shaggy brown hair was now shorter as it was slightly pushed back from his face.

you really thought you had lost your mind when you saw him- you thought that the sleep deprivation had finally caught up to you over all these years and had made you crack.

jake and you stood in front of each other down the front hall at the production company, staring in shock as you looked at one another.

"y/n?" jake asked you first, not believing himself as he said your name.

you nodded your head at him, "say my name again, please." needing to hear it again to know you weren't dreaming.

"y/n." a smile spread across your face at the sound of the familiar voice.

"you guys know each other?" the young assistant asked you both as she stood in front of you, ready to take you on a tour through the building.

"yeah." you both respond at the same time.

"oh, that's good then since you'll be working together a lot." she stated, causing you to give her a confused look, "he's the singer you'll be producing music for."

and now you're sat outside the recording booth, listening to your first love sing about you into the microphone- producing your first hit song that would only be the start of both of your careers.

a smile on your face knowing that you'll be able to sleep tonight since he'll be beside you, holding your hand.

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

[here2bbtstrash]

birthday drabble 2 - pjm

@sunshinerainbowsbts asked: How about 78 & 33 together, member of your choice? 💕

pairing: jimin x reader contains: smut!! college au, study/fuck buddies, semi-public indecency (in a restaurant and in the library), finger-fucking, flashing ig, dirty talk, hold the moan, squirting mention, jimin ~talking you through it~ bc i saw a tweet about that and it has lived rent-free in my brain since 🥴 summary: turns out your study buddy is a bit of a freak.

want more? check out all my birthday drabbles here! requests for these are now closed 💜

You never would’ve anticipated that the shy, quiet kid in your English Lit class would be this much of a freak. You should’ve known better than to underestimate Park Jimin.

It started innocently enough, the two of you meeting up weekly to study and body double, writing papers together in silence, keeping each other accountable so you didn’t accidentally end up scrolling TikTok for three hours.

But after a month or so, there was the night that changed everything. You’d meant to just grab a quick dinner because you were starving, but then you both somehow ended up several drinks in. And then Jimin somehow ended up in the booth next to you, his hand slipped under your skirt, working a mindblowing orgasm out of you, subtly enough that everyone else in the place was unaware. You just had to sit there and take it, completely silent, biting down so hard on your bottom lip you nearly drew blood.

When a single tear of pure relief rolled down your face as your cunt finally started to pulse, you’ll never forget the way Jimin leaned in with a wicked smile and licked the droplet up.

That was when you knew he had you. You’re kind of a freak too, it turns out.

It’s certainly made focusing on your studies a lot harder. You were supposed to be preparing for the upcoming midterm today, but instead, you’ve found yourself in a dusty back corner of the library, surrounded by a weird collection of German books that no one ever seems to come looking for. One of his favorite spots to ruin you.

He’s already well on his way, your shorts unzipped and tugged down to your knees, his hand working diligently at your core. It’s starting to feel so good that you let out a sigh of a moan before you can think to suppress it.

Jimin’s hand freezes, then withdraws from you entirely, and you grit your teeth at the denial. “Keep going,” you hiss, brows pinching together. You’re far too worked up for this.

He shifts a little, tilting forward so his forehead is pressed into the bookshelf that you’re leaned up against, his lips right at your ear. “Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?” He breathes.

Your eyes nearly roll back in your head at his honey-dipped voice alone. Sometimes he makes you suffer in silence, but your best orgasms by far are the ones he talks you through.

Your back is already arching at the thought, and he takes advantage of the access you’ve allowed him to yank your top and bra down in one swift movement, exposing your breasts for anyone who might walk by to see.

It takes all your willpower not to make a noise, and he smiles approvingly, rewarding you by slipping two fingers back inside you.

“You look so good like this. So desperate for me. Tits and pussy out for everyone to see because you need it that bad.” The filthy words are accompanied by slow, deliberate curls of his fingers against your g-spot, working up more and more of your arousal until it’s dripping out of you.

You’re going to die if he doesn’t go faster.

“Do you like it when I talk to you like this? When I touch you like this in public?” He purrs, already knowing the answer. You tell him every time, but you nod emphatically, hoping it might earn you another reward.

“Dirty girl,” he says the words with a nasty smile, but his fingers move faster, and your hips shudder up against his hand in response. “I can feel how fucking wet you are. Why don’t you squeeze this pussy around my fingers?”

You do as you’re told, head rolling back and forth against the bookshelf in a desperate attempt to keep yourself silent. When he breathes an appreciative exhale right in the shell of your ear, tears start to sting at the corners of your eyes.

“Love the way you gush like that. So fucking sexy.”

You’re already worried you might not make it, and then he brings his thumb to your clit. The pace of his digits curling inside you is rapid-fire now, and you’re starting to shake all over from the pleasure and the effort to keep quiet.

“Jimin,” you mouth his name, and he pulls back slightly from your ear to look you in the eye, plush lips barely pursed.

All you can do is shake your head– not because you don’t want it, but because you don’t think you can take it.

Rather than stop, he brings his other hand to clamp over your mouth. His breath returns to your ear. “Oh, we can go faster. Can’t have you getting caught looking like this. Gotta keep it all to myself.”

He picks up the pace of his hand working inside you, and your vision nearly whites out. Desperate for anything to ground you to reality, your hands reach out to claw at the carpet, then at his legs kneeling between yours.

“Come on, baby. Want to feel you squirt all over my fingers. Leave a puddle right here on the floor.”

Jimin’s thumb grinds down so perfectly on your clit that your orgasm takes you by surprise. You rear forward and then slam back against the bookshelf as the wave rolls through you, your hand simultaneously finding purchase at the crotch of his shorts, where you feel him straining against his pants.

“Can you feel what you’re doing to me?” He groans into your ear, your cunt still fluttering around his fingers.

Refusing to let him have all the power, you wrap your hand around his clothed cock and give him one slow pump.

You hiss a little as he pulls out of you all at once. “Hands and knees, dirty girl,” he grunts, his own hands already moving to tug your shorts off entirely. “I’m not done with you yet.”

[elysianslove]

hi !! i am in love w ur writing omg <33 can i req hcs of miya twins && suna w a crush who is in the girls ( or manager of the boys team if u only do gn!reader hcs ) vball team of inarizaki and they share the same bus or sumn when theyre traveling to another school ? thank u <3

hi hi hi!!! thank you so much <333 and i write fem!reader, hehe, so i made her part of the girls vbc! i hope you like these <3

miya atsumu 

i firmly believe none of the hq boys would be picky about the girl they’re dating. like yeah they all say certain traits they want but when it really comes down to it and they are dating you, they won’t be upset if you don’t fit certain previous criteria of theirs 

that being said, tsumu would absolutely lose his shit if his girlfriend also happened to be a volleyball player like he’d be convinced it’s fate or something

like he wouldn’t crush on you because of volleyball, he just thought you were a really pretty girl he’d constantly see in the halls and stuff 

and listen! he really was planning on asking you out

except asking a girl out has never been so nerve-wracking. like he’s never, ever felt this nervous about it?? and he’d keep chickening out every time he saw you

fast forward to you guys having to travel to another prefecture for a game, and it just so happens that the boys’ basketball team also had a game out of town. between the teachers and coaches, they decided since both the boys and the girls’ volleyball teams were going to the same prefecture, you’d just take the bus and make due 

the bus isn’t small, but y’all are a lot, so it’s a bit of a mess when you’re climbing on 

somehow, someway, you find yourself sitting next to miya atsumu 

pls he will never stop talking about how you two were meant to be after omg 

imagine his shock when he looks up from his phone and he sees you sitting next to him his brain literally goes ???!!@#$#&^$#&%(&

you just smile at him sweetly and say, “i hope it’s okay that i sat here. there’s not really anywhere else.” 

he can’t really speak. no like he really can’t. he’s. starstruck? just completely gone. you’re just so pretty and now he gets to sit next to you for the entire ride? he’s thanking everything holy

samu smacks him on the head because he still hasn’t replied to you and you’re starting to look a little saddened 

“uh, yeah, yeah, s’fine, yeah.” i’m telling y’all he’s secretly a complete dork. 

at first he doesn’t really know what to say, he just knows that he really wants to talk to you, like badly, and finally his brain catches up to him and he asks you about volleyball. you two spend nearly the entire ride talking about the sport

his heart would not stop beating insanely fast the entire time 

so y’all arrive, and you’re about to head off to the girls’ gymnasium when he stops you. you’re kind confused but you don’t stop him bc !!! hello !!! attractive !!! and kind !!! and interesting !!!

and omg you don’t think you’ve ever seen miya atsumu flustered before, and apparently neither has his brother or his friends because they’re in the back just snickering to each other

and finally, he manages to ask, “do you like, wanna hang out? soon? tomorrow?” 

it makes you giggle how red his cheeks are 

the relief that floods him when you say yes is unbelievable 

he wishes you good luck with your game with a kiss on the cheek that shocks everyone because what a contrast to the person he was literally a minute ago 

just v briefly: y’all are THE couple. you know what i’m talking about right? imagine just him being at your games and cheering you on the loudest, kissing you fully on the mouth after disregarding any rules in place, or the opposite, of you cheering him on his games and just jumping at him even though he’s really sweaty and hugging him so tight with your legs wrapped around his waist

no please don’t think about going to the gym with tsumu, where he makes you cling onto shirtless him as he’s doing pull ups and you kiss him every time he lowers himself, or practicing volleyball with tsumu, where he’ll serve a ball onto your ass and have you chase him around the gymnasium until he lets you jump onto him and you both fall on the ground

and no! don’t you dare consider practicing serves with him and it being a competition until you’re both so spent and breathlessly lying on the cold ground next to each other or how proud he is every time he sees you finally achieve something you’ve been trying really hard to perfect —

good bye 🏃🏻‍♀️

miya osamu

okay different from atsumu, osamu knew you were a volleyball player, and he realized he had a crush on after watching you play once 

your gymnasium, the girls’, was up for inspection but you had a game against another school so you’d borrowed the boys’. the whole boys team decided to stay and watch and holy shit was he impressed. your team won by a landslide, and it was clear the rest of his team was also impressed by the way they were all speaking about you

after that, you kinda stood out to him more? like, before he wouldn’t really notice you, but now anytime you were around or he heard your name or you were mentioned or he heard your voice he would kind of perk up and his heart would beat a little fast 

he was like fuck 😃🔪

you didn’t really share classes with him so it wasn’t too difficult to avoid you until his little crush had wavered 

yeah until god himself seated you right across from him on the bus while both your teams were on their way to a different school. it’s not that there wasn’t a bus, the coaches were just lazy and decided to combine you both since you were headed the same way anyways 

the entire time he wouldn’t stop staring at you while you chatted with your friends and with some of the boys from his team. you just seemed so. magical. he hated it. why were you so perfect

atsumu was asleep for half the ride so he only made fun of him for the other half. it was v humiliating. 0/10

he thought he had been soooo slick lmfao 😹

he was not

samu’s generally a slick guy but. not right now he wasn’t. not with his crush he isn’t

so when everyone steps off the bus and he’s like stretching out his limbs from being seated for really long, he feels someone tap on his shoulder, so he spins around and sees you and honest to god his blood runs cold

you had a really sheepish smile on your face like you were ready to embarrass him and when you said, “hey i noticed you staring,” on god he wanted to die.

but then you noticed his pale face and quickly went, “no, no, i think it’s very flattering! and i’m hoping it means i get to take you out?” 

cue tsumu’s cheering in the back he is so obnoxious bhjdbcdbjc

samu’s mouth is moving but his brain isn’t really working he just likes to thank god that he said yes and didn’t say anything else 

this time, you wish him luck with a kiss on the cheek and he really hates how his entire body is just heating up right now so on the outside it looks like he’s not enjoying this in the least, but trust, his heart says others

that was the most nervous you’ve ever been but he doesn’t need to know that 

on the bus ride back he invites you to sit next to him in the back, and you’re both a little shy about it all but you make conversation and somehow it ends up with him telling you he loves to cook, which leads to the promise that he’ll cook for you one day

it’s a very sweet conversation where you’re both really excited but you’re also a little nervous about it all

again, briefly: if we’re going with you being a wing spiker like him, then training with samu is so fun. he loves to toss the balls up higher and higher knowing you can’t reach them, until one day you shock him and the ball goes smack on the other side of the court and damn he just fell in love all over again.

tsumu practices with you two sometimes and nine times out of ten he’ll make samu think he’s tossing to him then toss to you instead. 

you’d think he’d be quiet and calm while he watches you play? absolutely not he is the loudest. it’s okay you luv him <3

omgomgomg meeting up with samu after both your after school practices are over and you just walking home alone in the quiet and you’re both munching on some snacks and it’s so serene and your hand is in his and you’re swinging your arms playfully and it’s just so

sigh 

remember that promise he made to cook for you? every weekend without fail, since he usually wakes up before you, he makes you breakfast, leaves his home, and wakes you up with a little box of your favorites. the tradition never falters. every weekend you wake up to his beaming face with a steaming box of breakfast. husband material 

suna rinatarō

with suna, you two briefly knew each other

you shared class with him, and sat quite near him so you were like sort of acquainted with each other. i feel like suna’s not too big on speaking with strangers not because he’s introverted but because he just doesn’t wanna waste his time

he does speak to you from time to time though, mainly just to ask about class or homework or exams 

he didn’t know you were on the girl’s volleyball team though, so when you walked onto the bus, and he spotted you, he was really confused. when you spotted him back and waved at him with a bright smile his brain went uh oh

and then you walked closer to where he sat and his brain went UH OH

and then you asked to sit next to him because you’re all the girls are scattered everywhere and aside from them he’s the only one you know here so he just shrugs and goes yeah sure 

his brain is going uhohuhohuhoh repeatedly though he’s just exceptionally good at not showing it 

you don’t really talk as everyone settles down, each of you is busy looking down at your phones, but when the bus starts moving, suna takes out his headphones and 

he offers one to you 

vdhjsdshfkwhhesajkdhksf

ok im good 

you’re a little taken aback but you accept. the entire ride you two don’t talk, you just listen to music together, and occasionally he hands you his phone to choose a song, and somehow, in the middle of all this, your head fell on his shoulder and his head rested on yours and it was really comfortable and good god does he have a crush on you

when you take out your phone and open instagram/snapchat and start messing with the filters, taking snaps of him and making faces with him, and he gets to hear and feel your little laughs he realizes yeah, maybe he does have a tiny crush on you 

tiny 

minuscule

you skip away from him after stepping off the bus with a yell of good luck. he makes time after his game to go watch yours and he is thoroughly impressed by your skill. decides maybe it is not as minuscule as he thought.

the boys are on the bus before the girls, so when you walk in, he waves you over and points at his headphones, which makes you laugh a little and rush over to him. this time, he doesn’t wait for the bus to start moving before he hands you one earbud, and just like before, your head rests on his shoulder throughout 

middle of the ride, he opens the notes app, and types, ‘you’re really cute,’ while showing you the screen 

you take the phone from him and type back, ‘you’re really pretty.’ 

and then a conversation carries like this until he just straight up goes, ‘wanna go out with me?’ 

this time, you don’t take the phone from him. instead, you sit up a little, press a kiss to his cheek and whisper, “yes.” 

it only shocked him a little a lot

as soon as you’d said that, he relaxes a bit, and as you’re going to rest your head on his shoulder, he brings an arm around you, hugging you closer to him i am going to Scream

briefly: please, imagine just how encouraging it is for suna to see you in the stands at any of his games like it just gives him that necessary boost  and whenever he wins he just cups your face and kisses you so passionately yet serenely and there’s that small smile hidden in the kiss only you can feel and tell of

or just imagine you and suna relaxing after a long day of practice in a bath together or you completely drained snuggled in bed as you lazily and sleepily pillow talk 

or oh my god, suna coming before a game and helping you do your hair in a braid or anything that will keep it out of your face because he has a little sister and he’s just so good at it and all the girls are fawning over how he’s sitting on the bench with you kneeling between his legs and he’s just working diligently at your hair and once he’s done he just gives your head a little pat before leaning over and kissing your cheek like “all done babe good luck” 

or suna watching smugly as you absolutely destroy your opponents or if you ever play with the boys how you never go easy on them and he just 

heart eyes <3

end note; im sobbing im this 🤏🏼 close to losing my mind why are they not REAL 

[1kook]

commercial break ; NINE

this is part of my netflix & chill series!

SUMMARY “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” WARNING angst with implied smut at the end!!, flashbacks, low self esteem, alcohol consumption, jk is (implied) a virgin in this, there’s a lil fondling by oc u know the usual  MISC they r soulmates <3, our queen doyeon returns, i tried to use symbolism👁 in the dialogue so yes everything drunk oc says has a meaning hehe RATING m bc alcohol WC 2.2k

NOTES i said once a long time ago that n&c couple were prolly at the same party once but didn't realize so hERE WE GO ! its not proofread bc um. yeah<3

Homecoming week. 

Jungkook doesn’t even think his university’s football team is good, but he had read somewhere that part of the college experience is obnoxiously supporting this team all four years. And well. Jungkook wants to fit in. Frankly, Jungkook feels a little dumb having accepted this invitation from Kim Taehyung from his first-year writing class. He’s only known the man a solid four weeks, probably won’t know him this well once Taehyung finds real friends, ones who suit his outgoing personality, and decides Jungkook is too boring, but Jungkook will make the best of it while he can because, again, he wants to fit in. Badly. It’ll be different this time, he had told himself while getting ready. You won’t be awkward anymore. You’ll make friends. 

And then it’s nearing midnight and Jungkook has spoken to a whopping two people at this party of over a hundred. Not including Taehyung, it’s down to one. Even that had only been to ask where the bathroom was. He feels severely out of place, like he’s both too large and too small to be in this area, to be at this party, so he shuffles into the kitchen when he hears them call for another match of beer pong. He’s actually pretty good at the game, has refined his skills at get togethers with his older cousins. But it’s not like anyone here wants to be Jungkook’s partner anyway. Or even knows who he is for that matter. 

Taehyung had bumped into him a little past ten, had had two girls clinging to his sides when he had greeted Jungkook. One of them had almost looked tempted, Jungkook wanted to believe, brushing her hand against his arm. But he didn’t act quick enough— what would he even have done? what did he even want? —and Taehyung disappeared with both girls soon after, leaving Jungkook by himself once more. 

The kitchen is empty, the drinks long since having migrated to the living area of this huge frat. With a defeated sigh, Jungkook sinks back against one of the counters, setting his lukewarm cup of beer down beside him. He’s buzzed, drank in a feeble attempt to ‘lose himself’ as all the movies claimed. But now all he can feel is a pounding headache threatening to consume him. He doesn’t even like drinking— why did he drink this much? 

He should go home. 

Events like this, parties like this— they weren’t meant for someone like Jungkook. He was too quiet, too shy to let loose like everyone else. He doesn’t do well in social situations, or at least not as well as his therapist had told him he would. He hesitates too much, never speaks when he needs to. Haerim from his freshman basics class had even said so. “You’re quiet, huh,” she had smiled, and when her notebook had touched his elbow, he flinched. She didn’t take it to heart. Just like Taehyung wouldn’t if he left right now. They know how he is. He doesn’t belong here. These types of parties were made for outgoing people, people who lived on the edge, people who weren’t trapped in their own thoughts all the time, people like—

Like the girl who stumbles through the doorway now. “Woooo,” she slurs, and then promptly faceplants into the dirty tile of the kitchen, the same tile littered with sticky footprints and random debris. He can’t even imagine what else is on the floor of a frat house mid-party. Jungkook flinches at the sound of her knee hitting the ground, before rushing over to help her up. 

She’s a giggling mess, eyes half shut by the time Jungkook gets her into a seated position. “Are you okay?” he flounders, hand on her shoulder when she wobbles again, nearly falls back down. 

“Just peachy,” she sings, flashing him a sloppy thumbs up. Her neck isn’t doing a particularly good job of holding her head up and when Jungkook places a hand on the back of her head, she leans into it, blissful smile on her face. She’s really pretty, it makes Jungkook’s cheeks burn when she aims it at him next. “Pucca loves Garu,” she lets him know, eyes finally fluttering open. “He’s a pretty boy.”

Jungkook blinks. He has no idea what you’re talking about. “Huh?” he stutters, glancing back at the bar stool by the counter instead. It’s probably infinitely times better than the sticky tile beneath your bare legs. “I’m gonna stand you up,” he tells you, taking your loud cackle as a sign that you’re okay with it. Jungkook’s been working out all summer, so you’re not heavy in the slightest, arms thrown around his shoulders while he slips his own around your back. Your proximity leaves him drowning in your scent. 

The giggles don’t subside when he sits you down, not even when he begins opening random cabinets in search of a glass to get you some water. He’s had his fair share of experiences looking after drunk people, so he has a pretty good idea of what to do now. However, your sudden bout of commentary certainly doesn’t make it easier. “Isn’t it, like, super cool how the sun and the moon are, like—“ a hiccup, Jungkook settles on tap water “tooootally different beings, but, like— they, like, both maintain the earth?” Your hand reaches for his forearm when he returns, gives him this little squeeze in your excitement. “Like— Like they both have to, like— work together? To keep it perfect, y’know?” 

Jungkook pushes the water into your hands. You’ve got this sparkly sheen to your eyes, the one that most people get after one too many drinks, but it’s accompanied by this childlike wonder that leaves Jungkook breathless when you meet his gaze. “Yeah,” he says quietly. You beam. It’s blinding. So blinding that Jungkook promptly looks away, nudging the cup in your hands. “You need to drink this.”

You frown. “Boooo, so boring,” you huff. It’s nothing Jungkook hasn’t heard before, but it is a little disheartening to hear it from a stranger. He stamps the feeling down, pursing his lips as he gives up on letting you drink yourself. The cup is swiped from your hand and Jungkook tasks himself with making you drink it instead. And of course, like all wasted young adults, you put up a fight. “Ew, what is that?” you spit. 

Jungkook sighs. “Water.” 

At his defeated tone, the exaggerated grimace slips off your face, replaced with a rather solemn expression instead. Jungkook tries to take advantage of it and pushes the cup against your lip again, but all he really accomplishes is sloshing it down the front of your dress. You don’t yelp, but he does. “I’m so sorry,” he panics, sliding the sleeve of his shirt down around his thumb to wipe your chin. 

You let him, head tilted curiously to the side. Jungkook tries to ignore your analytical gaze until: “you’re cute,” you announce, and abruptly send him into shock. 

He recoils, face a blazing mess. “I’m—“ he chokes, swallowing when you wipe your hand down your own chest, leave a glistening layer of water over your sternum and down between your breasts. 

“Cute,” you repeat, downing the glass he had been trying to coax into you like it’s nothing now. With it gone, you don’t waste any time, throwing your hands around his shoulders, fingers brushing through the hair at the base of his neck. You pull him close, so close in fact, that he ends up having to hold the back of your chair to keep from accidentally crushing you with his weight. “Your name, pretty boy?” 

He can’t think. You’re so drunk and smell so good and are just so pretty— his brain short circuits. “Um I’m, uh, Jeon J—“

“Jeon,” you repeat, silly smile back on your face. You’re not technically wrong, so he nods along with a blush high on his cheeks. “Well, Jeon,” you purr, but you’re still so drunk, eyelids fluttering in a rather funny way. “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?”

Jungkook doesn’t even know what that means, and honestly, he doesn’t really hear you over the thundering of his own heart and the bass in the other room. “Um, but you’re really…” he stammers, leaning back but a finger loops around one of his curls and he gasps when you pull at it. “You’re drunk,” he rushes out, lower lip trembling when your nose knocks against his. 

A soft hum, the sound sending electricity down his spine when you cup his cheek. “But don’t you think I’m pretty?” you murmur, eyes flickering to his mouth. 

“Yes,“ he chokes out, “you’re a very, very pretty girl. But I really shouldn’t—“

“Hey,” you shush, tilting his head just the slightest. Jungkook has never had a girl touch him like this, has never even touched a girl before either, but, well. He really wants to kiss you. And that’s saying a lot considering Jungkook has never kissed anyone before. 

Despite how good it feels, he knows you’re still really drunk. It’s with a decisive huff that he pushes away, hands on your waist to keep you from touching up on him any further. You’re not that strong anyway. And then he’s met with the biggest pout he’s ever seen, an absolutely distraught look on your face. 

Something in him says you’ll cry if he doesn’t explain himself soon, so he launches into it right away. “You’re very pretty,” he says, almost laughing at the way your entire face lights up immediately. “But you’re very drunk.” You huff. “You deserve to be treated like a queen.” Mostly regurgitating something he heard in a motivational video. 

It works. Eventually, you stop being fussy in his arms and settle with a frown. “You’re too nice,” you grumble, forehead on the countertop. He doesn’t see how it’s much better than the floor but he lets you be. “You got a girlfriend, don’t you?” 

At that, Jungkook laughs. “No,” he reassures you, hesitates, and then gently pats your back. Jungkook actually feels you melt under his touch. That sultry look is gone, replaced with this rather tranquil look that he doesn’t quite understand. 

“That was pretty,” you murmur, but Jungkook doesn’t quite hear. 

“What was that?” he asks.

“I said your smile was pre—“

“There you are!” someone hollers from the kitchen doorway, the shrill tone of their voice making both you and Jungkook jump. When he turns around, he’s met with the sight of a rather tall girl angrily stomping your way, eyes a blazing fire, fists clenched by her side. Jungkook realizes only a second too late that she’s looking at him. “Get off of her, you sweaty city-owned dumpster,” she hisses, using the strength of three football players to push Jungkook away. “You make me sick—“

“Doyeonie,” you beam, launching yourself into the angry girl’s arms. Ah. The Help had arrived. 

Said angry girl (Doyeonie?) is still using every mash-up of words possible to degrade Jungkook as she hauls you into her arms, shooting daggers every step of the way. “I can’t believe you would try to take advantage of a poor girl when she’s this drunk,” she spits. 

“What?” Jungkook coughs, cheeks warm. “I wasn’t—“

“Tell it to Campus Safety when I report you, you wannabe, dollar store Rain.” Jungkook clutches his chest at the acidity of her tongue, surprised anyone could be so mean. 

All things considered, this was actually good. Someone who knew you had come to take you to safety, meaning Jungkook didn’t have to look after you anymore. When this Doyeonie turns around, he’s met with your smiley face smushed against her shoulder. 

(It’s weird. He’s a little sad to see you go.) 

“Bye, Jeon,” you giggle, hand brushing down his arm, squeezing his hand, before you’re abruptly yanked away. Jungkook manages one weak wave, cheeks lit ablaze once more when you send him a silly air kiss from the doorway, urging him to catch it. He does, and he feels really silly when he puts it in his pocket, but he can hear your laughter for a second more before he loses you. 

The last few minutes being so hectic, he decides to go home. Parties weren’t really his thing. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever go to one again. 

Until a few years later. 

“You’re, like, really pretty,” you slur, lips against his throat. Another invitation, this time, Taehyung’s birthday. His friend had practically begged him to come, knowing how Jungkook was. In the end, it had been you who had accepted on his behalf. 

“Baby, not here,” he laughs, hand on your shoulder when you try to shove your hand down his pants for the third time that night. 

Taehyung had been ecstatic to see Jungkook here. And then had quickly become annoyed when he caught the two of you making out in his storage closet an hour later. “Bro, don’t be that couple at parties,” he had groaned, locking the door behind him. 

Jungkook had laughed. “I wouldn’t know what ‘that couple’ is at parties,” he reminded him. 

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m sure your girlfriend can fill you in.”

Apparently not. You’ve been trying to kiss him for the past three minutes but keep missing because you’re so drunk. “Just one,” you beg, so pretty but so drunk. The fake lashes you’d worn today make you look like a doll, batting them his way until he’s giving in, slotting his lips against yours. You’re probably going to throw up in his bathroom when you get home, so he should make the best of your kisses now. Jungkook pushes that thought aside as he reaches a hand out to wipe at the sweat accumulating on your chest. There’s something weird about the gesture, like he’s done it before at another party. But that doesn’t make sense; he couldn't have— this is his first party with you. 

“We should, like, leave,” you whisper against his ear, fingers burying themselves in his hair; when you pull on a strand, he nearly moans. “Go home. Maybe netflix and—“ a hiccup that makes him smile “—chill?”

Jungkook kisses your temple. “Sounds good to me, pretty girl.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[lovetenya]

𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬.

pairings: class 1-a boys x gender neutral reader

warnings: none other than swearing, otherwise just softness.

author’s note: this came to me because i’m feeling shitty and want a little love. when i say sleeping, i literally just mean sleeping. please don’t be gross, it’s against school rules.

according to the UA student handbook, sleeping anywhere other than your assigned room is strictly off-limits. especially if that place is the dorm room of another student that you have your eyes on. however, there’s something about your boyfriend’s twin sized bed, with blankets that smell like him, that’s just so comfortable.

maybe it’s the way that a twin sized bed fits two only if you’re completely wrapped up in each other, violating any laws of personal space. your legs tangle with his, and your face fits in the crook of his neck because it has to so that you don’t fall off.

or maybe it’s how sharing a twin bed encapsulates young love, so much love held in such a small place, begging for more room to spread and flourish. it’s all so intimate, so loving, so vulnerable. and honestly, there’s nobody else you’d rather be that person with, lying underneath his covers and waking with puffy eyes.

enjoy your night, and have sweet dreams as you doze off with...

tenya iida:

if you somehow convinced him to allow this, you've already won in my mind.

i mean, first of all, you’re sleeping with tenya iida. second of all, you get to be held in those big, strong arms.....................

you’re pretty lucky to catch him on a day where he’s feeling generous (or lonely) enough to let you break the rules and come to his room to cuddle, only to eventually fall asleep

i think he would sleep on his side, and hold you close so you’re chest to chest.

he’d hold the back of your head in one hand and place the other on your lower back

whatever you prefer, he will do

if you hog the blanket, he lets you, because he can't sleep with his legs under the blanket anyway! you can have his share of it and keep him warm, too

mashirao ojiro:

SOOOOOO CUDDLY!!

not at all hard to convince him to let you sleep in his room (or to get him to come to yours) bc he misses you a lot when you’re not around :(

you’re his comfort and he’s very shy (even around you)

you’d have to be the little spoon bc his tail can’t be squished and needs room to be free (it moves involuntarily sometimes, and he’d hate to accidentally whack you with it!)(he might cry)

HE’S a blanket hog and he knows it so he keeps an extra one for you

he also has stuffed animals on his bed that koda got for him hehe

denki kaminari:

he’d ask you to come to his room to help him study, but he ends up needing a lot more help than either of you expected, so you end up staying much later

he’s very cuddly but he’s also very energetic so it takes a while for him to calm down enough to actually lay down and sleep

you’d get tired before he did, and have to ask him to come lay down once he finishes that last problem

he finally does, and he tosses and turns a little before he gets comfy and finally relaxes into your arms

he holds you like a koala bear (even if you’re shorter than him, he loves clinging onto someone and feeling them)

or he sleeps like a starfish and drools everywhere. i can’t tell which one.

or he also likes being the little spoon cuz it’s cozy!!!

eijirou kirishima:

alexa, play love of my life by queen.

kiri doesn’t need any convincing to get his ass over to your room and would beg you to come to his whenever he felt lonely or like he needed a cuddle buddy

your phone pings with several texts from eijirou <3

eijirou <3: can you come over???

⤷ y/n: it’s a school night, ei.

eijirou <3: just for ten minutes???

⤷ y/n: it’s not because i don’t wanna, it’s cuz i can’t. if aizawa catches me, i’ll be in deep shit, and i do NOT (!!!) feel like cleaning with bakugo again

eijirou <3: bakugo isn’t that bad. come on!!!

eijirou <3: please?

⤷ y/n: [Read 10:37 PM]

eijirou <3: babe... i’m shivering.......

eijirou <3: i think shoto did something to me... i’m so cold..... please help

⤷ y/n: what’s wrong? do you need me to get recovery girl? or aizawa?

eijirou <3: no. i need YOU TO COME AND CUDDLE ME BEFORE I DIE FROM A LACK OF LOVE <///3 so much pain... no cuddles...

eventually, you cave and go to his room to cuddle, but not without cursing yourself for submitting to his relentlessness in capturing your full attention

he would lay directly on top of you while trying not to crush you, but has no shame in how content he is while snuggled into your neck and smushing you under the blanket

he would pepper your face in kisses and do even more once you tell him how gross his morning breath is <3!!!

mezo shoji:

he would be so sweet and so soft with you because he’s used to people being afraid of him for his looks and doesn’t want to scare you away :(

even getting him to remove his mask was hard at first, but once he trusts you and knows you don’t think he’s hideous, the curtain falls and he’s just such a love bug

he’s gonna lay down on his back and have you lay on his chest so he can hold you, and you’ll wake up just like that, feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath

& when he wakes up with you in his (many) arms? he’s never been happier.

hanta sero:

sero... sabes cómo guapo eres?

i love that everyone thinks he’s latino that’s so cute to me

anyway, i think that sero would lay his head on your chest. he’d have his arms wrapped around your torso and his head on your chest and he’d just snuggle right in.

you could pet his hair and he’d love that so much, humming contently until you eventually put him to sleep completely

you’d be more likely to be convincing him that he can’t stay in your room tonight rather than convincing him to come over, this man never leaves your room and will sprint there if you even send him a “:(“ text

he’s fine with blankets, cuz he doesn’t really get cold and he has more than one and he’ll just pull another over the two of you if you ever need it!

shoto todoroki:

i know that what i’m about to write is basic but i literally could not possibly care less. shoto is cute and we all know it so i’m gonna indulge what you already know and add my own too

also if you’re anti-shoto please unfollow me <3 i won’t miss you, stupid bastard!

shoto is touch starved in all the worst ways, and often flinches away from contact without meaning to, only to apologize for his behavior (even if he can’t control it)

he needs soothing, calming touches to remind him that he’s loved and that you care about him for who he is, not who he will be.

and also to remind him that he isn’t hideous because of his scar. he’s still quite beautiful, actually.

although he loves his dorm room and how calm it is, sometimes it reminds him too much of home and he needs a break from it.

when he needs to escape, he’ll send a simple text saying, “can i come to your room?” he won’t play games or pretend like he’s fine when he isn’t.

he just wants you, and to be comforted by you.

he’s your personal space heater or air conditioner, so whatever extreme your body decides to run on, he’ll regulate you.

he likes the comfort of a weighted blanket and loves sharing blankets even more. that level of trust and intimacy—that neither of you are going anywhere—is so comforting to shoto

he’ll never want to let you go

katsuki bakugo:

this sleepover is BYOB. (bring your own blanket.)

he’s the biggest blanket hog, and will wrap his entire body in the blanket and not leave a single shred of it for you. you could be shivering, and he’d tell you to shut up and go to sleep bc you both have class tomorrow.

EVEN THOUGH HE MADE YOU COME OVER!!??!

he won’t admit that he was lonely and wanted attention, but the way he hold you tightly lets you know how he really feels

or if he had a nightmare, he’d call you and ask if he could come to your room to cool off before falling sleep all wrapped up with you.

and he would buy a huge blanket to go over your two individual blankets so that you’re comfortable but still sharing and close to each other <3

be prepared to sleep early and wake up early too, cuz he goes to sleep by 9 and isn’t interested in funny business. he gets up for his pre-workout run by 5, and can’t really be quiet about it cuz he needs to eat before he goes. he’s sorry for waking you, but only a little.

if you’re a talker, and like to babble about your dreams of the future before falling asleep, he’ll listen for a little bit before losing his patience and saying, “no more talking, just cuddle me and go to sleep already.”

izuku midoriya:

baby love <3!!!

he’s less likely to ask you to come over as he is to dutifully race to your room to comfort you

no matter what’s planned for tomorrow or how late it is

and he’s not scared to get caught, he really doesn’t mind cleaning duty if it means he was there to be the for you when you needed him

he’s so sweet and outwardly loving, i think he’d either lay directly on top of you or lay by your side and tangle all his limbs with yours

so many kisses on knuckles and on faded (or recent) scars (you are so loved)

his blanket is big and cozy enough for the two of you and you wake up warm underneath it, still snuggled up to izuku <3

⤷ back to my masterlist.

[alreadyblondenow]

He loves me, he loves me not | Jung Sungchan

❤︎ Sungchan x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff, Smut, ❤︎ 4/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number

One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: The famous Jung Sungchan asked you out in front of his friends out of nowhere and you coldly turned him down but he didn’t take no for an answer. He proved his seriousness to you until you decided to give love a chance and so is Sungchan... but that didn’t take away your doubt. Until an ugly fight almost ruined your relationship.

Word count: 2,835k

Warnings: Unprotected sex, virginity loss, making out, fingering, swearing, self doubt, trust issues, couple fight, shouting at each other, mentions of break up. The smut is avoidable, btw.

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. This is inspired by nothing, haha I just want to write something for him. This is hella short bc I didn’t want to go crazy on my first fic for sungchan haha. But I will def write more for you. Also this is reposted, bc tumblr... -_-

Supposedly for KPOPSCAPE’s Love Fools but I want to finish my Boys Don’t Cry Series already :(( huhu

Jung Sungchan is like a perfect movie. Not because it’s where you first met, but because he’s too good to be true.

Captain of the soccer team, lead the team to championships basically his whole high school life, smart, very creative, gentleman, and every girl’s dream guy.

That’s why when he asked you out, you thought it’s some kind of a joke that you turned him down right then and there in front of his friends. Even though he looked harmless and he asked you politely, still, he’s Jung Sungchan. Why would he waste his time on you?

But just like a good movie, Jung Sungchan is surprising.

After you turned him down and set your mind on the quiz you’re about to take in ten minutes, he grabbed you by the wrist and did not take no for an answer.

“Okay fine, I completely understand you. Don’t say ‘no’ too soon, and let me earn your time” he said with a desperate tone and hopeful eyes and finally lets go of your hand.

“I have no idea what you’re up to Sungchan, but fine. I-I have to go to class” you said and walked as fast as you could to your next class.

On the following days that soon became weeks, Sungchan proved that he’s serious and showed it to you through pursuing you without giving you pressure, tagging along with you and your friends and instantly creating your own world together, and remind you about his intentions to you almost every day.

Eventually, after many weeks of trying, you became friends that are comfortable enough with each other. Though he’s bold with his actions and words while you continue to convince yourself that Sungchan is serious, “Just... go with it for now. I’ll wait for you to get used to us, I got all the time in the world” he says, putting strands of hair behind your ear while looking at you lovingly. He never fails to make you feel shy and secure at the same time.

“Tomorrow is a big day for me,” he breathes in deeply before he finishes his sentence and makes a big request, “I would like you to come watch me play, but only if you’re comfortable of course. If not, then at least call me after the game-“

“No no. I’ll watch you. I’ll cheer for you, wouldn’t want to miss seeing you win... again” you said and let out a shy giggle. Sungchan never asked you for anything, and you think watching his game is a good way to return the favor.

“So... you watch me play, huh?” he smirked and swing an arm on your shoulders as you walk closely together towards the field.

And just like a good movie, Jung Sungchan is not perfect. Good, but not perfect.

Sungchan and his team lost the game.

You wish you could do something to cheer him up and turn this night around for him but you’ve never seen him like this and quite frankly you don’t know what to do.

He stopped looking at the crowd and stopped smiling at you the moment they started to lose. You saw him get irritated in the field, scream and shout at his teammates, get scolded by their coach. It must be really hard for him and his team.

After the game, you waited for him to come out of the men’s locker room but you were told that he’s really disappointed in himself right now and it might take some time. “If you want, you can go inside. I know you two are not yet together but, comfort him. He needs you” Shotaro said, pats your back, and said goodbye.

Of course, you went in even though you’re not sure what exactly to tell him. But when you saw him sitting on the bench with his head down, your heart ached in an instant and suddenly you know what to do.

“Hey” you greet him quietly.

“Hey- I was just about to meet you, sorry” he flashed a smile like he didn’t look so hurt just a few seconds ago. Now you don’t know if he’s actually happy to see you or he’s faking a smile.

“You know, if we’re going to be together we should start showing different sides of ourselves and start trusting each other. Right?” You said and sat beside him.

What you said made him happy sincerely but the weight of losing tonight is just too much at the moment. So he told you the truth, “I’m a failure” he says and covered his face, trying to hide his frustrations.

“You’re not. Losing tonight doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Losing is part of the game that you love to play so much. And I think you’re not going to stop playing just because there’s a chance of losing” you soothe his back and massaged his shoulders.

You and Sungchan talked for some time in the locker room. He told you what he was thinking and feeling while he was on the field with a losing score, everyone was frustrated, and “suddenly I can't hear the cheers anymore and my worries are eating me up and ruining my game” he says almost in tears again.

And after that heart-to-heart talk in the locker room, he brought you home safely and thanked you for being the only good thing that existed tonight. He undid his seatbelt and reached for your hand to kiss it. He kissed you there because he knew you wouldn’t let him kiss you. Not yet at least.

But he’s wrong. You undid your seatbelt too, reached for his face, and planted a soft kiss on his lips. “Good night,” you told him and kissed him again before you get out of his car.

After that life changing kiss, just like a good movie, Jung Sungchan is charming, tender, powerful, hilarious, silly, and dramatic.

Your life changed when you started dating Sungchan, but still, you doubt him about his feelings for you.

Nonetheless, you enjoy the relationship. Slowly you become bold and confident with your actions towards him. You’re not afraid to show him that you care, you show him how much he makes you happy, you don’t lie to him whenever you get disappointed with something he did, and sometimes if things heat up quickly, you two fight like there’s no tomorrow.

And just like a normal person, Sungchan changed. Though you saw it coming already because nothing is constant in this world, still it hurt you. You miss the old him and because of that, your doubt about his feelings for you grew and grew until you can’t take it anymore and you decided to break up with him.

“What happened to showing different sides of ourselves and start trusting each other, Y/n? Okay fine, I admit it, I changed. But I have a reason for that and not because I don’t love you. What were you thinking?” He asked sternly, gripping the stirring wheel hard as he drives you home. You didn’t answer his question so it was quiet the whole time until he reaches your house. And the moment he stopped the car, you gathered your stuff and did not want the night to be longer than it already is... but of course, Sungchan will not let you.

He locked the doors of his car before you could even get out. Which made you angry instantly. “I’m not letting you break up with me” he said calmly while you’re anger add up every second.

“I’m not taking it back. My decision is final” you said, covering your face so he won’t see you cry. Leaning forward towards the dashboard and massaging your forehead.

“Why do you doubt my feelings for you? What else do you want me to do? I changed because I can feel that you’re not happy anymore with what we have, so I distanced myself from you to give you space. But I never even once thought of breaking up with you, I want to try and I hope you do too! That’s how much I love you. What did I ever do in the first place to make you doubt me like this, huh?”

“Well then everything’s clear!”

“What is?!”

“Maybe I don’t really love you and that maybe what I feel for you is the problem, not you!” Lie.

“Psh. You’re just telling me that because you’re mad right now!” but it did hurt him that he’s is close to tears.

It turned silent again for a couple of minutes. Maybe it’s his way to stop you both from shouting at each other. He turned his body closer to you and reached for your hand.

“Just don’t break up with me tonight. I'm sorry we shouted at each other,” he pulled you close and kissed your temple, “I just- don’t know what else to do to prove my love to you and you may not see it but I’m scared to the bone. I'm scared of losing you”

After hearing those sincere words without doubting him for the first time, you accepted his apology and said your sorry to him too. “I didn’t mean what I said, I’m sorry," you said and wiped his tears away.

Thankfully the night ended peacefully with long kisses and tight hugs before he walks you to your front door.

Just like a good movie, Jung Sungchan is the greatest plot twist of your life.

After graduating high school, you and Sungchan spend your remaining time together over the summer before you part ways for college. Now that you’re about to face long distance relationship, you both feel stupid about the fights that you had during the earlier days of your relationship.

“I should’ve kissed you longer than usual and told you I love you instead of screaming at you, you know?” He says while playing with your fingers.

Today is one of those days where you and Sungchan sit at the top of his car, your back against his chest and you in between his long legs while watching the sun go down and watch the city lights.

“Then say it now” you said, turning your head on the side and cup his face.

“I love you” he said and planted a soft kiss on your lips, “and don’t you dare doubt it this time-“ he says and tickled your sides to make you giggle.

When you two arrived at your house with a box of pizza for dinner, your mom texted you last minute that they will be out will probably be home very late. Great you murmured because you don’t want Sungchan to go home just yet.

“They’re out and probably will be back by midnight. Can you stay a little longer?” You pout but your boyfriend kissed it away.

“Of course,” he said and smiled at you.

And after a few minutes of flirting while eating pizza, you two decided that you’re not hungry anymore and proceed to make out in your room already to maximize your time of being alone together. Giggling and touching each other wherever you want while your lips touch and kiss each other deeper. Making little sounds just for the two of you, whispering sweet nothings, and listening to what each other wants.

Sungchan removed his hoodie because he’s starting to sweat like crazy, but you sat up and asked for more. Slipping your hands inside his shirt and kissing him as you remove it and throw it away. Still surprised at your recent move, your boyfriend let out a small laugh and reach for your chin as he returns your kisses. “Why are you just showing me this side of you now?” He said and pushed you back on the mattress and quickly removed your shorts and spread your legs so he could lie on top of you while in between your thighs.

Slowly he raises your shirt which you get rid of immediately while he kisses you from your lower abdomen and all the way up until he reaches the valley between your boobs and unclasps your bra effortlessly.

This is his first time seeing you very much exposed for him. And he loves it. So without warning, he sucked your nipples and made you arched your back and ask more. Nibbling and pinching your now swollen nipples, licking and biting your boobs, and covering it with spit. Oh you love what he’s doing.

“One more item of clothing left for the both of us, if I remove yours I’m afraid I can’t control myself” he whispers beside your ear and went back to kissing your lips.

“Let’s do it then,” you said in between kisses, swinging your arms around his neck and moving your hips to show him how eager you are. In return, he put his thumb on your damped panties and draw circles on your clit before he removes it finally.

“I’m so hard right now,” he went back in between your spread legs, kissing you with want while his fingers play with your slit. He touched you hundreds of times already but every time his fingers made contact on your pussy, it feels like the first time again.

“You too, not fair” you whine, slipping your hand inside his underwear and feeling the smoothness of his butt while biting your lips. Of course he gave your request immediately, pulled away from your body and exposed himself to you for the first time.

Knelling in between your spread legs, he pumped his cock while looking at your virgin tight hole and diving into lust even more. He checked your slit if you’re wet enough for him, yes. He asked you if it’s okay to fuck you raw for the first time, yes.

“This will feel goo- ah, fuck” he moaned out when he slides his cock on your wet slit for the first time, feeling the rawness of the activity you’re about to do.

“Keep doing that, fuck it feels good” you said while watching his cock slide up and down your slit and sometimes poking your hole which makes you jolt and giggle. And when he accidentally poked your hole and pushed his entire head, you told him, “Don’t pull away-“ you hiss and finally feel a small stretch from his cock, and as he slowly pushes in, the stretch becomes even more intense that you had to stop him from time to time before he continues to push in.

When he finally rolled his hips slowly, you’re suddenly out of breath and you feel so full. All you can do is grip his arm to show him how good he makes you feel, try not to close your legs whenever he hits a spot, and kiss his lips until the stretch is replaced by pleasure.

“This is what we’ve been missing the whole time- oh!” He said, grunting and moaning so good while fucking you at a slightly faster pace than earlier. Bodies away from each other, both of his hands are gripping your waist while watching your boobs bounce up and down, and of course watching his cock go inside your pussy.

You reach for your clit too and tried stimulating yourself because you’re so near but your boyfriend removed your hand and replaced it with his and suddenly your moans became higher and you’re gripping the sheets so hard.

“C-cuming” you tried telling him but too late, your legs are shaking and so is your whole body, you tried curling yourself but you can’t because your boyfriend is still fucking you. Harder this time.

And right before he hits his high, he pulled away and pumped his cock away from you and took care of his own mess. While you, on the other hand, can finally curl and catch your breath while you wait for your boyfriend to come join you again.

“You okay?” He asks, cleaning your sensitive pussy with a damped towel and helped you wear a clean underwear. “There, so I won't ask for round two” he said and kissed you on the cheek before he joins you under the covers.

“Do you know what I was thinking while we were at it?” He asked, you came closer to him and started kissing him softly. Waiting for him to tell you something sexy, or dirty.

But

“You’re worth the wait, and I’m definitely happy that I didn’t let you break up with me” you stopped kissing him. You didn’t expect he’d say something serious and sweet after fucking your brains out for the first time. “We both know you’re not easy. I’m glad we chose to love each other” now he’s the one who initiated the kiss.

Soft. Cotton-like kiss.

“Now, I feel bad I gave you a hard time” you said in between kissing. “You do love me so much” you added, he chuckled.

“Again, now that you believe that I love you. It’s all worth it”

[pinkjeanist]

“cooking by the book!” || katsuki bakugou

     ⇥ When Bakugou teaches 1-A how to bake a cake for an upcoming festival, you can’t help but notice how he treats you a little nicer than the others. But that’s just your crush on him talking...right? [1.6k words]

a/n: this is named after that remix of “cooking by the book” from lazy town bc no other song captures the pure essence of bakugou and reader’s relationship. this was also largely inspired by the difference in how gordon ramsay treats kid chefs vs. adult ones.[navigation]

You should have known that taking cooking lessons from Bakugou wasn’t going to be easy. However, with the way he taught you differently from everyone else, you had to admit: it could have been a lot harder.

“You’re gonna bake a cake, today.” You looked down at the empty mixing bowl before you, biting the inside of your cheek. You’d heard that baking was somewhat difficult to begin with, including (but not limited to) cake, and for Bakugou to choose that as your first proper baking session ever made you a bit intimidated (though whether you were intimidated by him or the cake was unclear).

Another school festival was coming up, and your class was expected to bake for the guests, which would have been okay if both halves of your class were competent enough to use an oven. So here you were, standing behind one of the many kitchen counters, trying not to stare too much ahead at Bakugou. You caught yourself doing that a lot on the daily, and even if you sometimes caught him doing the same, it was rude on your part. So, long before you’d even stepped foot in the kitchen, you decided that you would put your feelings aside and focus on the task at hand (which was already proving difficult).

After preheating the ovens, you all went back to your stations. You reached for the apron on the counter and slipped it over your head. Next to you, Kirishima asked his friend, “Are we supposed to do that?”

“Are you kidding me? Is that a question?” You paused in tying the apron behind your back as Bakugou raised his voice. “Yes, you dumbass! Who the hell doesn’t bake without an apron?!” 

You nodded even as his shouting wasn’t directed towards you, and again attempted to tie the apron behind your back until you realized it just wouldn’t stay tied. You almost asked Kirishima or Mina to help you before Bakugou came over to grab the strings and do it himself. You went still, and didn’t quite hear him the first time when he mumbled, “Is that too tight?” 

You swallowed. “It’s fine, thank you…” 

He moved back in front of the counters again and tied his own apron. “You each have a recipe in front of you. Don’t use it unless you need it. If you listen to me, you won’t need it at all.” 

You nodded and put your hands behind your back, not sure what else to do with them until he instructed the ten or so of you to find the flour. The others scrambled to the part of the kitchen you knew had flour somewhere around it, but you distinctly remembered there being another, smaller bag of it in a different pantry, so you went there instead. You retrieved it and presented it to Bakugou.

“Is this flour?”

He blinked. “No. That’s sugar.”

“Oh…”

“You’ll need it. Take it back to your station.”

“Oh, okay!” You smiled. Turning on your heel, you did as he instructed, and waited patiently until you were told to find the sugar (which you already had), baking soda, baking powder, cocoa, salt, and espresso powder. You tried to keep the list of the items in your mind as you turned to search for them, but found yourself at a loss. 

It was your fault for only partially-listening when Bakugou had given the instructions, but were you really to blame? He was wearing a sleeveless shirt under an apron that hugged him tight enough to show off his tiny waist. How were you supposed to have paid attention with that in front of you? 

But you wouldn’t say any of that to him- never in a million lifetimes- so you were as quiet and unassuming as possible as you took the recipe from the countertop and went over it. You knew where the flour was, and you had the sugar, but looking around the kitchen, you couldn’t spot anyone with espresso powder, which you didn’t even know was a thing that was supposed to go in cakes, but that wasn’t the point. You stood, biting your lip, until Bakugou came over again.

“What are you confused about?” His voice was a lot softer than you expected it to be, seeing as how he’d done nothing but yell at everyone else (you couldn’t blame him. Cooking was just that big of a passion for some people), but you couldn’t complain. You looked down at the recipe to avoid his eye.

“I’m not confused, I just- I don’t know who has the espresso powder.” 

Bakugou put a hand on your arm, and you tried not to melt under it as he shouted over your shoulder: “Who has the espresso powder?!”

“Is this it?” Kaminari lifted a large jar of brown powder over a sea of other bakers-in-training, which drew another rant from Bakugou about kitchen safety and do you want someone to get a concussion when you drop that?!, but you were still too focused on the weight of his hand. When he got done yelling, he squeezed your arm gently before looking down at you, and you swore you felt your heart stop before beating out of control. 

“Go and get a teaspoon of espresso powder. I’ll announce everything else, but if you forget the measurements, just look at the damn recipe.” 

You nodded and said, “Okay. Thank you, Bakugou.” 

Walking away, he muttered a quiet “you’re welcome,” and you could only smile to yourself as you looked back down at the recipe. 

Bakugou called out the measurements, and eventually, you had everything in the mixing bowl, and whisked through the powders until combined as instructed. You were then told to add milk (Bakugou measured that out for you without you needing to ask) and add two eggs (he did that for you, too) with vegetable oil and vanilla. Once you had everything in, you began to stir it, but apparently, whatever you were doing was wrong, because he moved behind you to take your hands in his on the side of the bowl and on the paddle. 

“You have to be more rough with it,” He muttered, moving your hands at a faster pace. “Or you’re gonna be standing here for three hours until it finally mixes.” 

You couldn’t even find the words, anymore. The voice that constantly nagged you in the voice told you that you were doing everything wrong, and that you were helpless for needing his assistance with each and every step, but you really couldn’t complain. Another voice told you that you were actually doing well and that he was helping you because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated, but you pushed that thought back. You knew that wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. (Could it, though? (No. No it couldn’t.))

After he decided it was mixed to his satisfaction, he stepped away and went to observe Kirishima’s bowl.

“Is it supposed to be this kinda poop brown?”

“Never fucking say that again about food. And what the fuck is this? Stir it!” Bakugou grabbed the bowl and stirred it with vigor while Kirishima stood by and laughed. He didn’t hold Kirishima like he’d held you. And as he went around to stir the bowls of others, he didn’t even lay his hands on those faring worse than you. You furrowed your brow, but elected to continue stirring to keep yourself busy. 

You were then told to put the batter in the two prepared pans in front of you, with the word “evenly” stressed after the fact. Bakugou again walked over to you as you got done. “Is this okay?” 

He huffed. “This one has more batter, but it’ll do. Go put them in the oven.” 

You nodded and put the pans in the oven, nearly dropping and spilling one on the way before catching it- but other than that, they went in smoothly. Over the next half hour, you took Bakugou’s advice and used a toothpick to check the center of the cakes, and sat on the flour-covered counters in the meantime while they baked. Bakugou came to sit by you while you twiddled your thumbs.

“You did a good job today.” 

You looked at him, then immediately back to the oven with wide eyes. “Oh. I-I feel like I messed everything up, to be honest…” 

“You did fine. You didn’t mess anything up.” He didn’t look at you, so you both kept staring at the oven, afraid of eye contact.

You hesitated before saying, “Thank you for helping me.” After a moment, you added, “You’re a really good teacher.” 

“I know.” His head whipped over to where Kaminari was about to eat a spoonful of cinnamon, and chucked a wooden spoon at his back. “Not in my kitchen, asshat!” 

You actually giggled at that, which was even more embarrassing with him looking at you afterwards. You quieted yourself soon after and shoved your hands into your lap. 

“Why do you do that?”

You blinked. “Do what?”

“You always stop laughing. You laugh enough with your friends but never with me. Stop doing that.”

“Who says you’re not my friend?” You asked before you could stop your tongue, then meeting his eye. You desperately wanted to look away, but the need for a connection with him was too strong. “You are. My friend, I mean. Uhm.”

“So laugh if I do something funny. It pisses me off when you don’t.” He hung his head to mess with his hands, and you grinned shyly to yourself as you turned away.

“Okay.”

When the cakes were pulled from the oven, Bakugou was by your side the most, helping stack the layers and frosting it with chocolate buttercream. In which, when your hand brushed against his as you frosted the cake, you didn’t shy away from him. You each stole little glances, meeting one another’s eye every now and again (which was starting to become less uncomfortable each time). 

You thought your cake was a little dry. He said it was the “best fucking thing” he’d ever eaten.

-

taglist: @keigos-dove​ @knifeewifee​ @wesparklebitch​ @bvnnyclouds​ @hanniejji​ @katsukis-sad-angel​

other tag/s: @pixxiesdust​

- dm/inbox to be added or removed from a taglist. 

[robinofinashiro]

“what if you had it all / but nobody to call / maybe they know me / cause i’ve had everything / but no ones listening / and that’s just fucking lonely / i’m so lonely /

request status: closed 

pairing: mirio togata x fem! reader (slight bakugou angst) 

note: i’m closing reqs bc my semester starts next week and need a clean slate by the end of next sunday so i can get my writing and school schedule together. i promise i won’t go anywhere !! 

you were sitting at your desk, hearing the conversation Tokoyami and Jirou were having about something. one ear was on the conversation and the other was hearing what Bakugou was screaming to Kirishima about. 

“getting yelled at again, Kiri?” you asked, giving the two boys a smile. Kiri flashed you an embarrassed look as Bakugou didn’t say much but give you a quick glance before yelling at him again, “come on Tsuki, leave him alone?” you asked, trying to get him to quiet down. 

he gave you a scoff but quieted down to a ‘normal’ tone of voice. you gave Kiri a wink before going back to the conversation with Tokoyami and Jirou. you could see she wanted to tell you something but decided against it. 

“did you hear?” Mina said, walking over to the three of you, “there are some third years visiting us!! kind of exciting, isn’t it? hearing some stories from the upperclassman!” she exclaimed. 

you nodded, “I heard this morning and yeah, it’s pretty exciting! I think if we get the chance to train with them, it would be even better. do you know who any of the third years are?” you asked her. Mina shook her head, “nope! ask Midoriya, he might know but I think they’re meant to be surprise!” 

before Mina could say anything else, Aizawa walked into the class lazily, per usual. 

all of you sat back down in your seats, hearing Aizawa speak on exactly the thing that Mina was talking about. you felt your hands get a bit sweaty, not really knowing who to expect to see walk into the classroom. maybe some over the top students? students who thought they were better than all of you? 

it didn’t take long for the students to walk in, your thoughts immediately coming to a halt when you saw the blond haired boy walk in. your eyes widened a bit, not realizing that you might have been visibly simping over him. 

Aizawa informed you on who they were. they were the end all, be all for U.A. known as the big three and who all the hero students should strive to be like. 

you couldn’t help but feel for their shyest student. you could see the anxiety written on his face as soon as he saw all of your eyes on him. you wanted to tell everyone to stop looking but you knew that if he felt nervous about a confrontation with regular first year students, how would the actual pro hero field treat him? 

finally, the attention was diverted to the blond who you immediately turned your attention too. you couldn’t help but laugh, seeing as how he instantly told the entire class to fight him with those excited arms flailing everywhere.

while you did want to take him up on that offer almost immediately, you were out of commission for the next few weeks. 

you had gotten hurt while training with Katsuki last week and your knee had broken. Aizawa had mentioned that while you could have gone to Recovery Girl to get it fixed, it was an injury that didn’t need such urgent recovery and told you to sit out for a few weeks until it healed. 

“take him up?” you asked jokingly to Katsuki. he scoffed, rolling his eyes, “please, he’d lose in seconds,” he responded. you laughed, trying to keep it down as Aizawa told everyone that they were moving to the training grounds to actually fight Mirio.  

Katsuki was about to ask if you wanted help getting to the training grounds but upon that thought, he saw Mirio heading both your way. Katsuki saw your eyes widening, seeing how you got a bit flustered at Mirio approaching you with that contagious smile on his face. 

“hey, you’re ( your name ), right?” he asked excitedly. you nodded, your heart stopping at the fact that he knew who you were, “Mr.Aizawa said you needed help getting to the training ground so here I am !” he exclaimed, “I’d love to help a first year who is in trouble!”

you stood still for a moment, not knowing how to respond him. it wasn’t until Katsuki moved past him, growling in your ear before jogging to catch up to everyone else when you finally payed attention. you looked at Mirio with a shy expression. 

“sure, I’d love help!” Mirio grabbed the work you had been doing and held it to his chest before helping you onto the crutches, “so, you’re THE Mirio Togata, huh?” you said, trying to make conversation. 

Mirio nodded, “the one and only! did you know who I was before hand?” he asked. you shook your head no, “ah, so you’re just assuming I’m popular?” he joked. you gave him a smirk, “or maybe you’re just assuming that I think that?” you replied. 

the two of you started laughing. “but I’ve heard of you before!” he said, “really now?” your eyebrow arched in confusion, “nah, just kidding. the only one who I’ve ever heard of was your classmate Midoriya and how reckless he is out on the field,” you laughed nervously, knowing exactly what he meant by that. 

“yeah, Midoriya sure is a cause of stress for everyone in 1-A to say the least,” you replied, “but he’s going to make a great hero, right along with everyone else in the class,” you added on.

Mirio saw the way your eyes sparkled when talking about your classmates. he could sense that you genuinely believed in all of them. maybe some more than others but he could tell that you weren’t trying to actively put anyone (outside of mineta) down. 

“I bet you’re going to be the best of the class.” 

your could feel yourself stop in your tracks, your crutches accidentally making you trip. Mirio without a second thought caught you, his arms holding you firmly in place. you didn’t dare to look at him, knowing if you did, you would get flustered almost immediately. 

“you okay?” he whispered, “yeah, I’ll be fine!” you said back, limping your way to where Aizawa usually told you to sit. 

you were trying to focus on your work, you really were, but as soon as finally focusing in on the work, Mirio decided to do what he did best, and flex before permeating into the ground. 

“he’s so attractive,” you whispered to the closest person to you, that being Kirishima. he laughed, seeing at how your eyes basically wanted to pop out of your face when you saw him shirtless, “I think you’re supposed to watch them train, not watch Mirio the entire time,” he joked. 

you rolled your eyes, not sensing the glare you were getting from the blond a few feet away. Bakugou had never heard you talk about any of your classmates that way before. yeah, the few side comments about how cute Todoroki was did happen but it was inevitable considering ALL the girls in class thought he was. 

“I mean no disrespect Kiri but is what I would consider manly,” you murmured, not fully realizing what you meant. Kiri looked at you before whispering to you a bit offendedly that he was manly, “I told you I didn’t mean it towards you! I’m just saying, he’s very nice to look at.” 

Bakugou growled, telling the two of you to shut up before going straight into the fray. you stared at Kiri confused, “any reason why he’s so upset all of sudden?” you asked. he shook his head, knowing exactly the reason. 

“wait, I think they need your help,” you told him, pointing out that everyone was either screaming at how quickly Mirio permeated and how no one was able to catch him yet. Kirishima followed Bakugou and ran to try and get Mirio, in which he easily went back into the ground. 

you sat on the bench, not bothering to watch them much afterwards. you were getting ahead on schoolwork which really worked out in your benefit when it came to being lazy as soon as you got to your dorm after classes. it usually meant stuffing your face with snacks or going straight to nap. 

“hiya!” you heard Mirio tell you from the ground. you looked down, laughing at the smile on his face, “all done torturing my classmates?” you asked. he nodded, trying not to permeate to the point where he would flash anyone again. 

“well, I have to go back to class. gotta make sure Iida doesn’t lecture me for being late again,” you told him, grabbing your crutches and seeing Bakugou basically run towards you. “come on, I’ll walk you back to class,” he stated, giving Mirio a look of near hatred before grabbing your things. 

you tried to tell Mirio goodbye but Bakugou didn’t let you, telling you that he wanted to walk behind you to make sure you didn’t fall or anything. you wanted to question him about his sudden attitude change but seeing as how he was just generally upset, you walked back to class in silence. 

“so, did you think they were hard to fight off?” you said, trying to break the silence. Bakugou shrugged, “I guess, not anything I can’t handle,” he said proudly. 

you rolled your eyes, trying to smack him with your crutch. the walk back, you could still sense the awkward tension, however; you were kind of happy that Bakugou wasn’t saying much. your conversation with Mirio was enough to keep your mind occupied. 

he could tell you weren’t even watching what you were doing until he heard Mina scream for you. you stopped your movements, waiting for her to catch up when she save Bakugou a look to basically scram. 

“what the hell do you have to tell her that I can’t hear?” he yelled. Mina gave flipped him the middle finger before turning to talk to you, “Midoriya wanted to let you know that Mirio wants to see you again after classes are done!” she said excitedly, “I think he might have a thing for you, ya know?” she mentioned, poking you side. 

you gave her a hearty laugh, not believing what she was saying. 

“yeah right, what’s next? he’s gonna bring me lunch every day after today?” you said sarcastically. “something wrong Bakugou?” Mina asked. 

not realizing what he was going, he saw that he was releasing small explosions into his hands, “mind your business, pinky,” he screamed, marching into the room, not even seeing that he left you stranded in the hall. 

Mina let out an exasperated sigh, “anyway, he said he’d see you in the first year lockers after class,” she explained, “and you have to tell me how it goes! seeing Mirio suddenly take an infatuation with you is interesting. not every day you see a third year on our floor.” 

you nodded in agreement as she took your book and folder before continuing to walk to class with you. 

once the end of the day came, you could tell that whatever it was that pissed Bakugou off earlier still hadn’t gone away. anytime Kirishima or even Kaminari tried to say something, all they would get is silence or just incoherent screams from him. 

“so, you’re off to see Mirio?” Jirou asked plainly. you nodded as Mina grabbed your bag from you, “I’ll help you with your bag and hopefully Mirio will walk you back to the dorms,” she said wiggling her eyebrows. 

you wobbled your way out of class, not bothering to tell anyone besides the girls goodbye. Kirishima found it odd as you usually would tell Bakugou goodbye or even a ‘i’ll see you later’. 

the hallways were a bit packed to move through them swiftly but eventually, you got to the lockers and saw Mirio talking to a few the students surrounding him. you gave the blond an excited smile, “here ya go Mirio! I assume you’re gonna walk my friend back?” Mina asked rhetorically. 

you stared at the blue eyed boy who instantly grabbed your backpack and slung it around his back, making it seem like a child’s backpack with the way it fit around him. 

“you asked to see me again?” you mentioned, getting tired of the way crutches felt underneath your arms, “these crutches aren’t the most comfortable and it’s getting kind of tiring to stand with them,” you complained. 

“you left your pencil on the bench and wanted to give it back to you,” he said, showing you the glitter purple mechanical pencil. you stared at him, knowing that wasn’t the only reason, “ahhh, I guess you could see right through me, haha. the other reason was that I was wondering if I could get your number? to get to know you some more,” he murmured that last part. 

if there was one thing you had to thank Mina for, it was at how crazy accurate she was with certain things. 

“yeah, that’s fine with me!” you said taking your phone out and giving it to Mirio as he did the same with him. Mirio put his name on the contact like with a heart emoji next to it as you did the same but with a blushing face instead, “but now you’re really going to have to walk me back to the dorms, my arms feel like noodles.” 

Mirio without a second thought, he grabbed your crutches and put them underneath his arm before swinging you behind his back in piggyback mode. you laughed as he carefully pulled on the leg with your broken knee to wrap around his waist, “hold on tight, sweetheart,” he said happily. 

you hit him on the shoulder, telling him to move, “come on Togata, can’t have either of us get into trouble by our advisers for missing something,” you replied.

the walk to your dorms was relatively enjoyable. Mirio making sure that the conversation didn’t die out and you felt as comfortable as possible with you on his back. you gripped onto his upper shoulders as you finally saw a few of your classmates sitting in the grass, studying under the nice weather. 

“hey guys!” you said happily. Mina smirked at you as Momo stared at you, surprise written on her face, “afternoon Mirio. making sure she gets to her dorm safely?” Momo said. 

“of course!” Mirio replied excitedly, “that’s if it’s okay with all of you!” he added on. 

Momo and Mina nodded, telling him it was more than okay. you let him walk into the living space where Sero, Kirishima, and Bakugou were at. 

Bakugou instantly felt himself getting angry at Mirio all over again. it was like he was burning his stare into Mirio as you gave him kind of a dirty look for that. Sero and Kirishima could feel the small tension going on in the room as he watched Mirio help you get your bag onto your back so you could safely enter the elevator, him claiming that he didn’t feel comfortable entering the dorms all the way. 

you quietly told him goodbye, whispering that you’d text him later tonight. 

from that day forward, Bakugou felt the way you were now putting all your attention to Mirio. the way you would leave the dorm on some nights, completely missing your ‘study’ time with him to go hang out with Mirio in the lunch room. 

other times, he would see Mirio waiting for you outside of the class, promptly doing what he used to. Mirio would be holding your favorite coffee and snack, asking you to come to his dorms to study with Nejire and Tamaki. 

you had already gotten extremely friendly with Nejire as she took her place as your cooler, older friend. Tamaki was still getting a bit used to you but he could sense the way you felt about Mirio and vice versa. 

yeah, he had saw Mirio happy all the time but this was different. sometimes, you were all Mirio could talk about. the slightest of things like a purple pen would have him talking about how he still kept the mechanical pencil you had left on the bench when you first met him. 

one Saturday afternoon, you were sitting with Kirishima and Bakugou, having your mid-day coffee as all of you were talking about random things. your conversation was cut short as you saw Mirio’s contact pull up, asking you to Facetime in a few minutes. 

“you and Togata are getting kinda close,” Kirishima said a bit cautiously. you nodded happily, laying your head on Katsuki’s shoulder, “yeah, he’s perfect, honestly. he’s so nice, the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, and to be truthful? I think he might ask me out soon.” 

Kirishima gave Bakugou a quick glance as Bakugou stood as stiff as a bored, seeing your phone go off with Mirio’s Facetime. you got off the chair, basically walking away without saying goodbye to them as they heard Mirio talking to you, a bit too affectionate for Bakugou’s liking. 

+

as class had gotten dismissed for lunch, you saw Mirio walking into the class, making sure Aizawa was no longer there. you gave him a smile, waving at him to come in. 

“hi Miri!” you said, digging for you ID that you needed for lunch. he smiled nervously at you, “I brought you lunch! Nejire helped me with it and was wondering if you’d like to come eat it with us!” he said. 

“of course, lets get going before we’re late,” you said trying to wipe the nervous look off of him. he grabbed your wrist lightly, “I promised Tamaki that if he saw you today, it would be with you being my girlfriend....”

you stood silent for a moment, everyone who was hearing the conversation waiting for an answer, “Mirio,” you whispered, “you dork,” you got onto your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, “yes, yes I will,” you finally answered. 

he laughed, bringing you into a bone crushing hug as he swayed you slightly. what you didn’t know as Bakugou standing in the back of the class, ready to rip everything in close proximity into shreds as he saw Mirio place a playful kiss on your forehead before grabbing your hand and dragging you out of class. 

[sept-dix]

en‐ as types of high school students

heeseung:

the popular guy

everyone knows him, everyone likes him, everyone wants to be him

literally friends with everyone somehow - he’ll be saying hi nonstop when he walks down the hallways between classes bc he knows everyone

the dance club president but also in the choir but also in the student council & also good at academics and everyone is like????? how?? does he do it?

has all these commitments that he excels in so you’d think he’s always hustling but he’s actually always napping during break time (& sometimes during class time but the teachers don’t bother bc he ends up acing the exams anyway)

“heeseung didn’t you sleep last night?”

“i slept 8 hours why?”

“what the fk” 

everyone has a crush on him and he realises this so he politely tries to be nice to everyone who approaches him

one time that One Asshole in the class tried to talk shit about heeseung when he wasn’t there being all like “tbh i don’t even get why he’s so popular like he’s kinda weird sometimes” and everyone in the vicinity was ready to k word & that’s how you know he’s a real one

jay: 

class clown 

doesn’t even think he’s funny at first but he realises that everyone keeps laughing at everything he says/does so he just takes it and rolls w it

takes pride in his comedy

everyone’s always teasing him and asking him to shut up but no one means it,,, everyone rly just has a soft spot for him

always gets nominated by his classmates to represent the class for stupid things like an inter-class “who can eat the fire chicken noodles the fastest” competition

has never ever won any of these competitions but his classmates still make him go up for every single one & he never turns them down

extremely talkative. always talks to his friends during class & asks the teacher sooo many questions about the content

teachers act annoyed and ask him to stfu sometimes but they’re honestly endeared by how genuine he is w his questions

the nicest guy.... if he sees someone being mean to someone else he will a 100% interfere and try to help out

also good at academics bc he actually tries + volunteers himself to teach anyone who’s struggling

is actually the one everyone goes to when they need advice/are having a hard time bc they realise he’s so mature and genuine w everything

when it’s his birthday the whole class comes together to play a prank on him 

jake: 

not a single person in the school dislikes jake

he’s super innocent and sweet all the time and everyone’s lowkey protective of him

the type of person who always invites his friends over to his house to hang out after school

jokes around w his friends during class and gets told off by the teacher and gets sad

gets along w everyone like he’s never had an awkward social interaction

goes off to meet sunghoon from the class next door during lunch and everyone’s like??? how did jake even become friends w him

brings presents for everyone on his birthday <3

sunghoon:

professional athlete who honestly couldn’t give less of an f about school

sits at the back and dozes off half the time 

sticks to his group of close knit friends most of the time and doesn’t rly initiate a lot of convo with the other kids but somehow ends up having a lot of friends bc he has this magical pull to him that makes everyone else approach him first

mysteriously disappears as soon as the bell rings he’s literally the first person out of the door

everyone has the image that he’s all quiet and shy but you walk past him w his group of friends one day and he’s being so noisy & you’re like ???? 

joins some random lowkey club like the library club or smth just bc it’s compulsory for everyone to join at least one and he wanted to do the one w the least commitment

does not give a single f about popularity but is somehow the most popular guy in the class

invites his class to his ice skating competition once and everyones like..... What The Heck.... so *this* is why he’s always napping during class........ 

everyone’s in love with him after that and who can blame them

sunoo:

class clown #2 but unlike jay no one ever teases sunoo

they all jst love him

everyone’s showering him w compliments 24/7 

the girls would loooove him tbh like Finally A High School Male Who Is Not An Asshole

spends break time gossiping/eating/hanging out w them 

if anyone dares say anything negative about sunoo his friends from his class will literally cut them 

every tongue that raises against sunoo shall fall

joins the dance club and every time he performs his whole class is there to cheer for him

gets the most chocolate out of everyone during valentines day

if ever he’s sad all his friends would come together to do smth sweet for him bc that’s how much they adore him

jungwon:

popular guy #2 

heeseung adores him and takes him under his wing although jungwon’s a couple years below him and the whole school adores this friendship

is the studious type, always listens during class + has his homework done and ready

unfair bc he’s lowkey a nerd but also cool + best bros w all the popular kids

hangs out exclusively w his Bros during break times

is in the school council

everytime a teacher needs help w something they look for him

everyone also has a crush on him but unlike heeseung he’s oblivious to it and never realises that someone is trying to flirt w him until his Bros are like “dude” 

someone approaches him being all like “hey jungwonie can u help me out w my math homework” and he’s like yea sure and makes them take it out and work through it step by step and by the end of it the person’s like “,,,,,i was tryna get u to hang out w me after school but,,,, ok i guess” 

gets extremely shy when he realises & everyone teases him for it

ni-ki:

is super lowkey usually, sits at the back and is just an average student

but on the days that the dance club has their showcase...... it’s a whole different story

the whole school gathers to watch ni-ki dance bc he’s just that good

literally he ascends to the status of a god or something and everyone from his class is like “??? how is this the same dude who was slacking at the back of our class”

everyone who walks past his classroom tries to take a peek in like is that the Rumoured Dance God himself sitting over there

everyone in the school knows him even if they don’t know him

a/n: ok i was jst randomly thinking about this the other day n decided to write it out bc it’s fun!