#and awakened her individual personality as a new adventurer

[eorzeashan]

Blas finally has her Meteia clothing!

[linked-history]

Alright so this design choice is going to take some explanation and I feel I should have done the designs in a different order but I also really wanted to do Ravio next so I apologize for any confusion. I will explain below before I start the details of Ravio's adventures

EXPLANATION So having played Tears of the Kingdom I figured I wanted the Zonai/Minish to play a larger role in the story instead of showing up and then disappearing, even though they still disappear in the end. So locations that are not Hyrule/Hytopia are now within the "Sacred Realm". The Zonai, and a number of their Minish companions, were trapped initially within a prison of Ganon's corrupted creation (Termina) and were later freed through Goddess intervention, once released they were unable to return to the world of light and thus built new lives. Midna and by extension Hilda and Ravio are the distant descendants of those Zonai. The Twilight Realm Timeline also acts separately from the Hyrule timeline so is not affected by the break caused by Ocarina of Time. Due to this the Twilight realm has interacted with the "Child Timeline" through Twilight Princess as well as the "Downfall Timeline" through Link Between Worlds. Koholint from Link's Awakening is a special case though that I will explain further later

BEFORE THE ADVENTURE Ravio is a guard and representative to the Twilight Realm Kingdom of Lorule, he's traveled and worked to build relations between the Twili Kingdoms of Subrosia, Holodrum and Labrynna. During his travels he's made friends in the different Kingdoms and built a reputation for himself across the Twilight Realm. His companion during these travels has been Sheerow, a descendant of the minish, specifically sky minish, who were trapped by the Corrupted Ganon with the Zonai. Her family has lived with Ravio's and the two have been practically inseparable since Ravio first started walking. Sheerow acts more as a protective older sister from time to time and steers Ravio away from trouble more often then not. When growing up Ravio heard legends of a Divine Beast that had a humanoid form who had helped the Twili Queen at the time save their realm and desired to be a hero just like them.

DURING THE ADVENTURE After building relations with the other kingdoms Lorule receives requests from their neighbors and Ravio is sent to help them. He starts in Holodrum and it's neighboring kingdom Subrosia before heading to Labrynna. On his journey back to Lorule, Ravio's transport is destroyed and he finds himself on an island inhabited by individuals unlike himself. Those on this island explain that the island is called Koholint. Clearing the island of monsters, again creatures that are strange to him and not common to the Twilight Realm, Ravio learns of the "WindFish" a creature sleeping and how Koholint is a land caught in a "dream". Despite knowing what will happen should the "WindFish" wake Ravio defeats the final monster and wakes the "WindFish" thus destroying the dream and when he comes to finds himself back in Lorule with only the memory of the Island as no one else has heard of Koholint or the "WindFish".

After finding himself back at Lorule he tries to return to his duties. Though he starts noticing changes in Hilda's demeanor and personality that worry him and when Yuga steps in Ravio ends up hearing the plan and realizing this is something that he will be unable to fix himself. Recalling the legends past of the Divine Beast and it's world of Origin Ravio sets out to find a way to that World of Legend.

Before leaving he realized that the light from this other world was written in legend to hurt the previous queen so he worked to cover his skin as much as possible to protect himself before he was able to locate the hero. Much of his time in this World of Light was spent in the Prince's old family home, acting as a renter of fine weapons that the Prince was able to use to save his sister and the other's trapped by Yuga, with Sheerow acting as the collector should these weapons be "Misplaced".

AFTER THE ADVENTURE Prince Link and his sister Princess Zelda returned home after Lorule was saved and the gates between their worlds were once again broken. Ravio understood it was probably for the best and tried to ignore the longing for the World of Light. He was later surprised to find that Hilda was working on a new gate between the worlds, explaining it was a replica of an artifact called the "Mirror of Twilight" that the Queen of the past had shattered. Hilda figured that if only a true royal were able to shatter it fully then only a true royal would be able to replicate it. From there Ravio did his best to assist his queen though he was only able to understand so much of the project.

Here is also a close up of Sheerow cause I love her too much to leave her as a small image

[wowieweirdwarlock]

Best Bosses: Kirana, The Coral Queen.

Source: The Tome Of Beasts 3.

Image source: Tome of Beats 3, pg. 175.

“Her Glittering Majesty Kirana, Coral Queen of the Seven Seas, Empress of the Undines, First Among Sea Elves, and Defender of the Dolphin Realms is the fey lady who rules over the warm seas of the fey lands.”

Collector of Beautiful things. Kirana is an avid collector, and loves to stockpile unique and interesting things beneath her anemone palace. Most of her treasures happen to be sourced from shipwrecks, as do some mortals she saves and takes as “guests.” She spends a great deal of time within her collection, so she sends servants out into the world to bring her oddities and artifacts from above the sea.

Isolationist Host. Many sailors caught in storms find themselves shipwrecked, and a lucky unique few end up being saved by one of The Coral Queen’s servants. These beings are brought to the Anemone Palace to entertain Kirana, and enjoy her unending hospitality. Unfortunately, she rarely lets go of those who catch her eye, and one can only leave her realm should they offer her something more interesting or enter into a fey bargain with her.

Distant court. The Coral Queen was once engaged in a passionate romance with another fey noble, which ended disastrously. The two leaders no longer communicate with one another, and have as such sought out other dalliances. Ever since the event, Kirana has become very independent and seeks to distance herself, both literally and politically, from the fey courts.

Undersea Warrior-Queen. Kirana, due to her time spent among many unique artifacts and individuals, is considered a master of all trades. She is an accomplished fighter and Spellcaster, and leads her agents into battle against evil sea creatures that plague the edges of her realm.

The Coral Queen’s Lair:

Queen Kirana rules from the Anemone Palace, a beautiful complex that is part underwater cavern and part coral reef. It is filled with beautiful sculptures of coral which function as homes for many of the awakened sea creatures that serve in Kirana’s court.

Beneath the main palace are dozens of underwater caves illuminated by enchanted coral, the magical light revealing Her Majesty’s tons of collected treasure and artifacts. Her most delicate tomes and treasures are kept sealed in magical air bubbles, and some particularly impressive guests may be allowed to enter and interact with these treasures.

The Queen’s court consists of undines, sea elves, magical sea creatures, and other underwater beings. Within her lair, Kirana maintains as much order as she expects from her collection, and her powers allow her to maintain this control. She can manipulate the churning waters within her palace, in addition to manipulating coral to build new rooms and furnishings as she sees fit.

Ideas for using the Coral Queen in a campaign:

The party is caught up in a shipwreck, but one character catches the Coral Queen’s attention, who sends an agent to save and collect the party. Everyone except that character may leave, unless they can bring her some bauble or individual to keep her attention while they sneak them away.

Kirana’s old flame, a powerful fey lord, reaches out to the party. He wishes to rekindle his connection to the Coral Queen, and intends to do so by gifting her a powerful magical artifact. He promises the party something valuable if they will personally deliver his gift to her, granted they can locate her Palace.

Ah, the beautiful and hospitable Coral Queen. While I personally haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the First among Sea Elves, I have met some lucky enough to visit her Anemone Palace and lay eyes on her expansive collection.

It is said that Kirana has some of the rarest and most dangerous objects that have been lost to sea stored in a complex cave system beneath her palace.

Those glittering undersea caverns feature in many an adventurer’s dreams, causing some inspired individuals to purposefully get lost at sea in the hopes that She may take a liking to them.

Is this some strange coincidence, or an intentional enchantment the Coral Queen uses to attract potential servants and entertainers? It may never be known.

All I know is I would love a chance to visit her collection someday. Maybe even being a part of it wouldn’t be too bad.

- A weird warlock (who is definitely not considering stranding themself at sea).

[valorxdrive]

.Connections

Understanding and Meaning.

A big thing I really want to touch on that is supposed to be a more personally highlighted meaning of Sora's KH3 journey is connections. Bringing this unconsciously woven aspect that speaks through his emotions, through Heart and transforms itself into great power, to the conscious mind as he actually comes to see what this means.

It's why I personally want to change up the idea of his training journey when it comes to this chapter. With the Keyblade War on the horizon, and with so much seemingly going wrong, the wisdom Yen Sid grants Sora is that for all of his troubles, strength flourishing, lost and re-discovered, it would be with Connections that an answer to face Xehanort's boundless ambition could be met, alongside with the pivotal help from the many brave and powerful souls he's met by far.

To have the Power of Waking in this matter if only one part of the puzzle's solution. It is a tool to help allow not just worlds themselves to be torn free from the lucid level of darkness that keeps worlds barely tethered within sleep. It goes a step beyond, becoming a power forged to actively undo malicious practices of the 13 Darknesses, who are able to invade and infect, to wire themselves so intimately deep into a person's psyche and soul-- that forcefully ripping it by other means is similar to killing what composes that person.

This is why his adventures in KH3 would have a pivotal angle. What Sora needs to learn is the height of particular emotions, the varied kind of bonds and relationships at a intimately deep level that the everyday times at Destiny Island wouldn't introduce. Adventures wrought with peril allows powerful concentrations of emotion, resolve and resolution to burn through hearts in the form of coveted power. To be able to discern these factors, to let his own emotional wavelength match the hopeful glimmers thrust into twisted malevolence of darkness, and to call upon the self of those individuals that are stuck in a form of nightmare due to this possession.

I'd like to bring this towards the angle of where Sora found himself going against Aqua at the Dark Margin. This battle would tipping point of where he can't simply depend on practice and preparedness, the original motto that also rings as new key for him to grasp.

This 'fight' wasn't a matter of triumph or by any means overpowering. Power was a means to combat her, and for their clash of equal power to create a resonance to let the one who could truly awaken her tear away the grim shadows. Originally, this was supposed to be a position that either Ventus or Terra would successfully be able to free her from. Understanding that Ventus rests within him, getting a gauge of the history they shared, his goal was to become a bridge where their wills could awaken and allow darkness's hold to be crushed by their might.

What Sora is supposed to emphasize is the power of genuinely established bonds. Connections made willingly, through great highs and sorrowful lows. It serves as the complete antithesis to Xehanort's measure of connections, by subjugation and enslavement of body/soul/heart.

A force forged by living alongside of each other, learning, and accepting each other's pain by lending strength to companions and allies.

Another that is made in a desire that ultimately shows itself at the end. A twisted power that worms thorny roots down to the core of a being, changing them, ripping away everything that composes them so they can become Xehanort. Allowing him many selves to experience many different lives that are by no means his in a form of 'One'.

To accomplish what Sora enacted, it needed him to complete one important detail. That secret sanctum that rests within every heart, connected by a boundless void made of metaphysical space, he could no longer afford to travel and do his work there unconsciously. It needs to be a realm where he can be wholly aware, a place that even the primordial darkness itself never imagined someone in this day could travel to and serve as a personal threat.

All in all, this would compose itself as a highly spiritual journey for Sora. Beyond the keyblade, he's getting a true glimpse and grasp of what he said was his true strength from the beginning.

Yet he never realized just how much.

His Heart.

[tomorrowedblog]

Friday Releases for May 17

Friday is the busiest day of the week for new releases, so we've decided to collect them all in one place. Friday Releases for May 17 include The Big Cigar, Babes, Please Don’t Cry, and more.

Babes

Babes, the new movie from Pamela Adlon, is out today.

BABES follows inseparable childhood best friends Eden (Ilana Glazer) and Dawn (Michelle Buteau), having grown up together in NYC, now firmly in different phases of adulthood. When carefree and single Eden decides to have a baby on her own after a one-night stand, their friendship faces its greatest challenge.

Back To Black

Back To Black, the new movie from Sam Taylor-Johnson, is out today.

The extraordinary story of Amy Winehouse’s early rise to fame from her early days in Camden through the making of her groundbreaking album, Back to Black that catapulted Winehouse to global fame. Told through Amy’s eyes and inspired by her deeply personal lyrics, the film explores and embraces the many layers of the iconic artist and the tumultuous love story at the center of one of the most legendary albums of all time.

IF

IF, the new movie from John Krasinski, is out today.

IF is about a girl who discovers that she can see everyone’s imaginary friends — and what she does with that superpower — as she embarks on a magical adventure to reconnect forgotten IFs with their kids.

Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever

Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever, the new movie from Ole Bornedal, is out today.

Emma takes on a night watch job to unravel the mystery of her parents’ disappearance nearly thirty years ago. But when she confronts serial killer Wörmer in his cell, she awakens him from a coma, triggering a series of catastrophic events.

The Strangers: Chapter 1

The Strangers: Chapter 1, the new movie from Renny Harlin, is out today.

After their car breaks down in an eerie small town, a young couple (Madelaine Petsch and Froy Gutierrez) are forced to spend the night in a remote cabin. Panic ensues as they are terrorized by three masked strangers who strike with no mercy and seemingly no motive in THE STRANGERS ― CHAPTER 1, the chilling first entry of this upcoming horror feature film series.

You Can’t Run Forever

You Can’t Run Forever, the new movie from Michelle Schumacher, is out today.

Miranda, a young woman already suffering from acute anxiety due to a past tragedy, faces a new terror when a serial killer chooses her as his new target. In a harrowing hunt through the woods, Miranda finds strength she never knew she had as she tries to elude her murderous tracker.

The Big Cigar

The Big Cigar, the new TV series from Jim Hecht, is out today.

The Black Panther Party, a fake movie production, and a nationwide manhunt. This is the true story of Huey P. Newton’s escape to Cuba.

The 8 Show

The 8 Show, the new TV series from Han Jae-rim, is out today.

Eight individuals trapped in a mysterious 8-story building participate in a tempting but dangerous game show where they earn money as time passes.

Please Don’t Cry

Please Don’t Cry, the new album from Rapsody, is out today.

#Richaxxhaitian

#Richaxxhaitian, the new album from Mach-Hommy, is out today.

Lives Outgrown

Lives Outgrown, the new album from Beth Gibbons, is out today.

[sajiandherbullshit]

Character Sketch: Michiru

Name: Michiru Takara

Age: N/A (appears to be in late 20's or early 30's)

Appearance: Michiru is a striking individual with a unique sense of style. Standing at 5'1" with an hourglass and curvaceous build, they have a commanding presence. Michiru's long, vibrant auburn hair is often styled in a ponytail. Their deep, piercing gray eyes are filled with curiosity and a hint of mischief.

Personality: Michiru is a free-spirited, kind, patient and adventurous soul. They have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and are always seeking new experiences. Michiru is known for their infectious energy and ability to make friends wherever they go. They have a natural charisma that draws people towards them, and their genuine interest in others makes them an excellent listener and confidant.

Background: Michiru was born into a family of ranchers in the Rukon District, and grew up surrounded by competition and a love for horses. Their parents, both renowned riders, encouraged Michiru to explore the rodeo world dreaming of becoming a successful rodeo champion

Education: Michiru pursued their love for riding and horsemanship by obtaining a Beginner's Rodeo Champion trophy. Here, her zanpakuto was awakened for the first time.

Career: After graduating, Michiru embarked on a journey of self-discovery, before joining the thirteen court guard squads.

Interests: Besides riding and competing, she enjoys drawing, writing,poetry and painting. As well as kendo.

Strengths: Michiru 's open-mindedness and adaptability enable them to thrive in unfamiliar environments. They have a natural talent for connecting with people from different backgrounds, making them an excellent cultural ambassador. Their creativity and ability to see beauty in the simplest of things allow them to capture breathtaking moments through their writing and painting.

Weaknesses: Michiru 's adventurous spirit can sometimes lead them to take unnecessary risks, disregarding potential consequences. Her stubbornness can often get her into trouble. They can also be prone to bouts of restlessness, struggling to find contentment in one place for too long. Jordyn's desire for constant exploration may occasionally hinder their ability to form deep, lasting relationships.

Overall, Michiru is a vibrant and passionate individual who lives life to the fullest. Their insatiable curiosity, artistic talents, and love for adventure make them a captivating character with a story waiting to be told.

[theotakufiles]

Asadora! Manga

Asadora! is an exciting and heartwarming anime series that takes viewers on an unforgettable journey through time and the indomitable spirit of its young heroine. Set in post-war Japan, the story follows Asa Asada, a determined and resilient girl with dreams as limitless as the sky.

When a mysterious creature awakens from beneath the sea, wreaking havoc on coastal communities, Asa's life takes an unexpected turn. She finds herself at the forefront of this incredible phenomenon when she crosses paths with a legendary monster known as Nue. Inexplicably drawn to it and sensing a greater purpose, Asa embarks on a high-stakes adventure to protect her loved ones and uncover the truth behind Nue's existence.

Spanning several decades, Asadora! showcases both triumphs and tragedies in Asa's life. From working tirelessly to become a pilot during Japan's aviation boom of the 1960s to facing personal struggles against societal expectations for women at that time, her determination inspires those around her. Alongside new friends and allies who enrich her journey, Asa navigates through love, loss, friendship, and self-discovery while honoring her unwavering commitment to protect all she holds dear.

Blending beautifully animated sequences with gripping storytelling rooted in real-world history, Asadora! captures not only the human spirit but also invites reflection on themes of resilience, hope, sacrifice, and how individuals can shape their own destiny amidst unforeseen circumstances. Prepare to embark on an emotional rollercoaster as you witness one ordinary girl's extraordinary transformation into a true hero capable of changing fate itself.

With breathtaking visuals, deep character development, and thought-provoking narratives that tug at your heartstrings every step of the way – join us for an unforgettable ride in this epic tale where courage knows no bounds: This is Asadora!.

Support the incredible talent behind 'Asadora! Manga' and immerse yourself in a captivating story by purchasing the manga today at gekimanga.com. Join us on an exhilarating journey filled with adventure, emotion, and unforgettable characters. Don't miss out on this opportunity to support the manga author and indulge in a world like no other. Discover 'Asadora!' now!

[themovieblogonline]

SXSW 2023: Problemista Highlights The Problems Of Immigration

SYNOPSIS: Alejandro (Torres) is an aspiring toy designer from El Salvador, struggling to bring his unusual ideas to life in New York City. As time on his work visa runs out, a job assisting an erratic art-world outcast (Swinton) becomes his only hope to stay in the country and realize his dream. From writer/director Julio Torres comes a surreal adventure through the equally treacherous worlds of New York City and the U.S. Immigration system. Problemista is an acquired taste. You have to be ready to enter into the surreal when watching this movie. After you get your mind right and get ready to ingest you'll find a psychedelic delicacy of cinema. There's a glaring criticism and observation of the American Immigration system, banking, and FileMaker Pro. Problemista doesn't stop there as it also finds time to take potshots at the American banking system and more. Our protagonist, Alejandro, works at a company that cryogenically freezes individuals in hopes that they can awaken in the future. Alejandro specifically maintains the cryogenic system for Bobby Asencio (RZA), the husband of Elizabeth (Tilda Swinton). Alejandro's real dream is to become a toymaker working for toy manufacturer Hasbro. Alejandro's quirkiness is obvious upon first site of his toy designs including a THE GOOD Writer/Director Julio Torres stars in the movie as Alejandro, who is an immigrant in the U.S. Did I mention that this movie is a comedy? The laughs come fast and hard as we first meet the quirky Alejandro who nails it with physical humor. There's something about the timing and delivery in Torres' performance that just forces you to chuckle. Whether it's Alejandro's laid back chill attitude, his bouncy walk, or his clean hairstyle with obtuse 1 hair standing out like Alfalfa, there's a lot to absorb in this character. Tilda Swinton plays Elizabeth, the wife of Bobby Ascencio (RZA), and is definitely not a Karen.  Torres finds a unique way to highlight sensitive topics but tiptoes around being too offensive to anyone who may be sensitive to this sort of criticism. Tilda Swinton absolutely overshadows everyone as Elizabeth and delivers yet another outstanding performance.  Elizabeth is an eccentric woman who has the ability to always get what she wants. Her secret? In order to get what you need from others you have to make yourself a problem for them. That persistence will force them to kowtow to her asks. It's an incredible thing to watch and may trigger some viewers. The story can be eye-opening to observe, and Torres helps share the perception of a white woman who can push others to do what she wants just by badgering them incessantly. Problemista makes a habit of pointing out the absurdity of various systems in the U.S. There's a commentary on immigration but the movie also points out the predatory practices of large banks. I now know I am not the only person who, in the past, did everything in my power to get a bank employee to admit the predatory practices of some banks. There's a moment when Alejandro realizes his bank account has been overdrawn and is in the negative by several hundred dollars due to a bank overdraft fee. If you try to buy a $7.00 sandwich but only have $6.99 in your account, the transaction will approve but you will be charged $35 as a penalty for over-drafting an account. rather than declining the transaction, some banks will do this to make money by charging an outrageous penalty fee putting cash-strapped individuals in a precarious situation. THE BAD Problemista can be overindulgent in absurdity. There are times when the movie attempts to be visually artistic for the sake of being artistic but stands out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of the visuals. There's a moment where Alejandro illustrates the need for money to apply for a work visa without being able to legally work to earn the money to pay for a work visa. This is shown as Alejandro climbs through the equivalent of a rat maze turned Tetris block. Scenes like this can be disruptive to the immersion of the story in an attempt of being expressive. There are other scenes that disrupt the flow of the movie like Alejandro's forays into Craigslist work. These scenes are here to shock non-immigrants into awareness of what life is like in America for immigrants but the shock isn't as serving as intended. The casting in Problemista is borderline absurd but in that, you find the humor in the seriousness of the topic. most will agree that RZA and Larry Owens' casting makes no sense. But the absurdity is a reflection and commentary on the absurdity of things found in the United States. RZA's presence in the movie is hilarious and I can't help but enjoy every moment he's on screen. I feel as though RZA could have had more screen time and could have done more to adjust his performance to sound more aristocratic. The chemistry between RZA and Tilda, in their few scenes together, is carried by Swinton being a friggin chameleon and adjusting her character of Elizabeth to accommodate Bobby. OVERALL Fans of Julio Torres will love Prolemista. Fans of quirky comedy and dry humor will love Problemista. Heck, fans of Wes Anderson movies will find a visual delight in Problemista. Viewers who don't like any of these things will have a hard time with this movie. I find the absurdity hilarious and a great first outing for Torres. Tilda Swinton provides an audacious performance as Elizabeth and will live rent-free in my brain as this character for some time. I will recommend this film to many, but not all. Read the full article

[night-market-if]

Book Two

Wip link

Book two is actively being written. Read it chapter by chapter here

Book One Links:

Free Demo 🌿Steam🌿Itch.io🌿

Other Content

Patreon 🌿Discord🌿FAQS

Welcome to the Night Market! Book One is already complete and up for sale. Book two is well underway.

The Night Market is an interactive novel in which you awaken to a lantern filled world with no memory of how you got there. Desperate to get home, you must find the gate that leads back to your world, while navigating a foreign land, rife with political intrigue, arbitrary rules and secrets designed to keep you distracted. Nine barons rule the market , a place so vast that not even they can truly know its scope. But, one baron holds the key to your safe return home. Yet, no one has seen or heard from him in over a decade.

A rakish sort with an easy smile and a penchant for adventure. He is seen frequenting taverns and can generally be found where life is in full swing. Local thief and all around charming individual that upon meeting you has taken a special interest in your plight. Though he seems to be able to offer very little in the way of solutions, he is all too happy to stand by your side as you carve your way in this world.

Can be romanced as a triad poly or a v poly.

Owner of Hazel’s Apothecary and a grey lump of a cat named Mr. Billows. Considered the local ‘bog witch’, she has been secluded away to her own sector within the market. Known for her tonics and herbal remedies, Hazel is viewed as a pariah. A woman who will curse you on sight and whose shop hands have all gone mysteriously missing over the years. Though, upon meeting her, she seems sweet and eager to help you find your way home.

Can be romanced only in a singular romance.

Guard Captain of the docks, a local penitentiary for the wrong doers of the Night Market, and the warden of the holding cells you are placed in upon arriving. A stern and straight forward man with little emotion other than to be weary of the events of his day. Gabriel arrived in the Night Market only a decade prior, but refuses to speak of where he hailed from before. Overall, he is a shut-down and bitter man, scorned by what the world has given him thus far.

Can be romanced in a triad poly or in a singular romance

A courtesan of the pleasure district and a sought after political force. A stunning beauty, educated and refined, who unwittingly has her hands in most of the affairs and secrets of the market proper. A beguiling woman who will be whoever she needs to for the right price. Everyone claims to know her, and yet no one can tell you a truthful detail about her. It is said she almost gave it all away for the man she loved, yet when asked, she only bats her lashes and smiles, claiming to have loved far too many to even know who you are referring to.

Can be romanced in a triad poly or a singular romance.

Features

The game is meant for 18 and old due to sexual content and violence

Explore the in depth world of the Night Market and unlock the secrets of the nexus.

Play as male, female, or non-binary

Six different romance routes. Three individual and the choice of a v or a triad poly. More to potentially be added in the future as the story progresses.

A story that is heavily driven by who you choose to befriend or fall in love with, focusing intently on interpersonal relationships.

Please note that not all romances are what they seem.

Customize your MC’s appearance and personality

Make in depth, moral decisions that will vastly change the course of your game, unlocking new areas based on chosen conversation trees.

[mystery-salad]

On Sylvari and Wyld Hunts

Imagine spending your first months of life fully aware of yourself and family, learning of the world you're about to be born into, the teachings of those who raised your mother in turn are gently laid out by imagined replicas of themselves to any who sit and listen. It's a gentle way to be born, already knowing friendly faces and the simpler elements of life. And it's how a fair amount of sylvari enter Tyria, but it's not how all of them awaken is it?

Most titles are gained through professions or deeds performed. Titles are proof of prowess and who you are. Except one. Valiant is not an adjective among sylvari, it is a title for a select group given upon birth. You do not earn it and you can not obtain it later in life. It is the product of those who experienced something far more specific yet ephemeral in the Dream than most, a vision telling them of a great trial they must overcome or a goal they must achieve. A Wyld Hunt they will accomplish.

At least, a task they're expected to accomplish. These Hunts are depicted as anything is in the dream, images and interpretations. No one truly knows how the Dream works. How it chooses Valiants, how it lays everything out and seems to know events that have not yet passed so clearly. Even the Pale Tree herself may only guess and interpret the meanings by her own understandings and sometimes a clear answer may only appear when it is already passing. But it is an honor to be chosen for these Hunts nonetheless, marked by a title that shows the bravery and determination surely needed to follow your destiny.

An honor, to be chosen for a duty that protects those connected to the Dream and the world around it. An honor to save a brother with the shape of the moon grown into his shield. An honor to retrieve a truly unique embodiment of the Dream taken form as a stag. An honor to protect your siblings from a "knight" gone too far. An honor to fell a dragon...to cleanse an entire region full of magics you don't yet understand, with a history you can hardly comprehend...to fell a lich...to hide an unbearable truth from those who would trust you most...

Being a Valiant is an honor...right? That's what the Pale Tree told them.

A Hunt can be simple too of course. A Valiant founded the Wardens, a Valiant saved saplings from the Nightmare Court, a Valiant worked to repair damage done by the Inquest. These make the majority of Hunts recieved, not everyone has to save the world to be honored. But some do, don't they? Some need to spearhead the challenges no one would volunteer for, and in that fear of insurmountable danger can you blame those who wouldn't?

Being a Valiant is an honor, truly. It marks those who will step up to protect others until their dying breath. As they were told they would from the moment they were born. It's honored by the Grove that remembers the names of their fallen siblings, the Pale Tree who mourns her lost children, and by the sword now potentially wielded by the third Valiant to hold it. It's an honor, a necessary one. Who would step up to do these things otherwise, would anyone have proper warning without the Dream sending these premonitions and duties?

I have to wonder though. In these 30 years of living, did the sylvari misinterpret these dreams and warnings? How did Valiants come to be, by the decision of the firstborns each with their own Hunts realizing they'd need to handle these individually to cover them all? Why did no one, when the number of sylvari grew, think that perhaps...help was needed?

We see Trahearne, fresh back from Orr unused to interacting with those he was born knowing. We see Riannoc, abandoned by the only person who fought alongside him, a mere boy who was looking for adventure. In honesty that boy was likely older than Riannoc himself. We see Caithe weighed down by an unfinished Hunt, encouraged to train what she and the Pale Tree see as her replacement upon failure. Someone new to defeat Zhaitan in her place.

But is that really what's going on? Is the Dream's first repeated Hunt a fallacy of the Valiant who first carried it, or is it something that couldn't properly be shown without words? How do you teach someone that they need help when they've spent their life ready to go in alone?

There's a tragedy in the title of Valiant, a trail of bodies. Always alone. There's memorials for Valiants, each fighting for what they were born to do, alone. We hear of solely them, not their family or friends there with them. How many tragedies have come from Valiants we haven't even seen, who never came home? How many either died, or are ashamed of their failure in an insurmountable destiny? And how many could have been avoided, with a little less honor and a little more help?

We don't understand the Dream fully, it's hard to know if even the Pale Tree does. But I have to wonder if it's gentler than we see it, if it weeps for those who took its warnings as a weight to bear alone despite being born among friends.

[moonsdancer]

#MelJay AU Week | day four: movie au - the mummy (1999)

Art historian, Mel Medarda is slowly but surely building a career for herself as the assistant curator of the Nashmarae Museum of History in Shurima. Ever since she was a little girl, reading about the histories of her dead father's people, she's dreamed of exploring the mysteries of Shurima first hand. Of course, cataloguing an endless pile of precious objects and translating ancient texts isn't always so thrilling. But she's content, albeit ever searching for something truly special, revolutionary even.

Then, her brother Kino shows up toting a strange ancient box covered in hieroglyphs she has the wherewithal to translate. What the glyphs and the box's contents promise is world-changing, a fragment of a map to the Lost City of Gardens, a mystical place thought long buried beneath the sands of history and time. 

Before she knows it, an obnoxious disgraced inventor and ex-mercenary, Captain—no, Mister Jayce Talis, the only creature alive who claims to have seen the Lost City in person, joins their motley crew on the hunt for treasure and glory. But, they aren't the only ones on the trail, with greedy competitors and explorers pouring in from all over Runeterra to plunder a new discovery.

Even worse, something terrifying and ancient, awakened from beneath the dunes, arises to hunt them all.

Read a snippet from the story, tentatively titled, dawn of the chalicar, below + twitter here

(If you are familiar with The Mummy, then this scene's inspiration should be obvious. I had a lot of fun writing it, hope it's vaguely fun to read. Sorry for any mistakes in it, nothing is beta'd yet. The story will also ft. Akshan {the hottest bae in Shurima - Kino AND Jayce know}, Ezreal and others, currently trying to include as many P&Z faves as possible lol.)

dawn of the chalicar

Bel’Zhun Prison, Shurima

“Are you quite certain this ‘associate’ of yours is on the up-and-up, Kino? I’d like to escape this adventure with my head still firmly attached to the rest of my body.”

Mel looked askance at the prison yard in which she now stood, very much against her will, ignoring the salacious jeers and disturbing invitations being thrown her way from a motley crew of inmates. The absurd warden had trundled off with a pair of lackeys to locate a Captain Talis—the individual she was using a good chunk of her savings to bail out from his sentencing. All on the assurances of her brother who claimed he would prove somehow useful in reaching the location of the very first clue that had been embedded in the glyphs she’d deciphered a few nights ago. 

Kino was a poor judge of character at the best of times so Mel held little hope that this nefarious individual would be of much help. But Kino had insisted. 

“How are you acquainted with this Captain Talis, anyway?”

“Oh, we’ve done some business in the past, you know, a bit of this and a little of that.”

There was a shiftiness to Kino’s eyes, and he was fidgeting with his shoulder-length locs a little, his usual tell. Mel’s gaze narrowed. Either this Talis person was a criminal associate or Kino had conned the man, both possibilities boded ill.

Before she could interrogate him further, the warden of Bel’Zhun Prison, a portly gentleman draped in blindingly colourful robes, returned. He dragged a dusty, scraggly-haired giant behind him. Without preamble, he kicked the chained prisoner to the ground in front of them and said, “So, how much for the criminal?”

Frowning, Mel opened her mouth to remind the man of the five hundred crowns they’d already agreed on but Kino beat her to the punch with an offer of one hundred-and-fifty. Really? Was now the time to haggle?

The warden grinned, revealing a sizeable snaggle tooth that was a fascinating shade of orange. “Ah, my friend, you must be joking. I guess you don’t need our dear, disgraced captain that much after all.” He pulled on the prisoner, who’d stayed hunched over as if in pain, clutching the locks of his scraggly hair. “I feel the need for an execution today, maybe I can start with him. He’s something of a troublemaker anyway, always starting fights with the others, and pestering me for toothpaste, it’d be good to see him die.”

Mel gasped in horror. “You can’t—we need him to find the treasure—!”

“…Treasure, you say?”

Oh, blast it. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

Kino, always swift to act when something threatened his potential money-making schemes, piped up in denial, “Don’t pay attention to my sister. She’s mad, barely literate, and recently released from an asylum! This time yesterday, she was plucking her own underarm hair out and eating it.”

Mel looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Surely that was a bit over the top. But now that he’d set up such lofty expectations, oughtn’t she do something to play the part? Perhaps start scratching at her armpits? Oh, the indignity of it all. She was going to kill Kino. 

“Listen,” the warden half-whispered. “I know you’re probably telling the truth about the treasures—I will keep it quiet, and release the prisoner into your hands, in exchange for maybe a special gift.” He smiled at her, his tangerine tooth fairly glowing in the midday sun as he leaned in close to rub his finger along her elbow. “And sixty percent of your treasure.”

Mel shoved him away in disgust and fury. Mostly disgust. “Excuse me, you foul-breathed miscreant. You are not—."

“Twelve percent!” 

Mel cut herself off and faced her brother who had apparently rediscovered his desire to barter. Over her!

“Fifty-five.”

“Fifteen!”

Affronted beyond belief, Mel stepped aside while the two men went at it, both of them becoming increasingly shrill as they got thoroughly invested in their negotiation. 

The prisoner, this Captain Talis, was sitting up on his haunches. No longer hunched over as if in pain, instead he was looking straight at her, his whiskey-coloured eyes only barely visible between locks of dank, near-black hair. An unkempt beard covered his chin, and what she could see of his face beneath smears of filth and gods knew what else, wasn’t particularly remarkable. And yet still, for some inexplicable reason, she found herself arrested by his steady gaze.

This man couldn’t be worth all the trouble they were going to to get him out of jail. She had to double check.

Stepping closer to him—but not too close for he stank like someone who’d spent the better part of a year in a Shuriman port prison. 

“Captain Talis, I must implore you to tell me the truth, can you truly tell us how to find the Lost City of Gardens?”

When she spoke, the captain tilted his head, watching her with the wariness of a very large and very dangerous, and likely rabid animal. She noted, with an artist’s eye, that even though he’d probably lived through all manner of harsh deprivations, there was still a rangy power to his frame, his shoulders were broad—almost absurdly so—beneath the tatters of a faded doublet and shirt. The threadbare trousers he wore did little to hide the sturdy trunk-like thighs beneath, hugging him to an almost improper degree. Mel jerked her eyes upward away from inappropriate territory only to find him scrutinising her with a crooked smirk.

“Mister Talis, actually,” he drawled, his voice rusty. “Why do you want to find the Lost City? Fancy lady like you wouldn’t survive more than five minutes on the journey.”

Stomping her foot in frustration, Mel informed him in no uncertain terms that she was more than capable of an expedition across the Great Sai. She was much hardier than she looked.

He didn’t seem to believe her but he still asked, “Why take the risk?”

“Because—anything worthwhile involves risk, Mr Talis. I was told you are the sort to understand that.”

He snorted. “All right, I might be willing to consider telling you how to get there but it’s a tricky thing.”

Sensing an opening, however minute, Mel shuffled closer. “What… would convince you further?”

He lifted his filthy chained hands, and gestured at her to come nearer, as if to tell her a secret, a conspiratorial slant to his head. An excellent idea given the sensitivity of their subject. Mel moved forward until she was less than a foot away, intrigue percolating in her breast. If the man told them how here and now, then maybe they could just depart from this foul place and be on their way.

“Come a little closer, I can’t holler this kind of thing out in the middle of a jail, or your little expedition’ll be over before it even starts.”

He was right, so Mel sidled in almost scandalously close. So close she could see the glints of gold and flecks of green in his surprisingly fetching eyes.

“All right, thank you ever so much for telling m—hmph!”

Whatever she was about to say was muzzled by a pair of chapped lips pressing against her own in a rough kiss. It wasn’t like any kiss she’d had before. None of the too-soft chivalry of warm candlelit evenings in the teak-panelled gallerias and posh soirees during her university days in Piltover. No, there wasn’t a trace of gentility or sweet questioning here. It was demanding, and a little bit mean, a bite of teeth that made her whimper. In protest. Mostly.

But then, almost in a flash, the contact shifted. The sly swipe of a warm, wet tongue that tasted a little sour and yet had her opening her mouth to grant it entry, a curious lap of her own as she moved to meet it. 

He reared back and growled in her face, “If you want to know how to get there, lady, get me the hell out of here!”

Before she could respond, one of the guards clubbed the captain over the head and he dropped onto the sand with a thump. 

Shaken, as much by the easy violence as she was the kiss, Mel reached up to touch her stinging mouth watching as Captain-Mister-whatever-he-called-himself Talis was tugged away. More like Captain Cretin! Or Monsieur Libertine! Or—

“You know, if I’d known you were willing to dole out kisses to sweeten negotiations, we could’ve gotten a deal much quicker, little fox.”

The warden loudly agreed.

“Oh, do shut up, both of you.”

Hope someone enjoyed. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[strangefable]

I was tagged for the newlywed game that’s going around. I think everyone’s been tagged already, and this is a long post, anyhow, so I’ll leave off tagging anyone. I loved seeing what others have done with these, but I decided to try something a little different and ran with the whole interview angle.

---

Exclusive! Intimate Details from the Captain of the Unreliable and Her Scandalous Husband!

It’s a rare opportunity for a reporter to land a personal interview with the famed, yet elusive, captain of the Unreliable, better known as the Savior of Halcyon. It’s even rarer to be invited aboard the ship herself. You can imagine my nervousness upon receiving exactly such an assignment! (I wish to extend a hearty thank you to one former crew member for making the arrangements, however, they have asked to remain anonymous.)

The ship is smaller than you think, looming so large in our collective psyches as it does. It’s small and humble, but it shines with care and attention to detail. Orderly and neat, all things tidily kept in their place, all crew doing their jobs without hesitation and hardly the need for words between them. It runs like a well-oiled machine, exactly as the Plan would design!

I don’t recommend mentioning that to Captain Jameson, though. She didn’t much appreciate it when I tried. And the Vicar? I should say former vicar; he and the OSI are decidedly no longer aligned. He attempted to warn me, or at least I assume that’s what the angry glower must have meant, when I brought up the Plan with the captain.

Much has already been written of the actions and adventures of the captain and her crew which caused Halcyon such tumult and change, and I don’t wish to bore you, dear readers. But leave it to your intrepid reporter to uncover a new stone! For what follows is far more intimate than has ever been heard before! One might say I have a rather exclusive perspective on the captain and her husband...

Read on, if you dare!

I managed to speak with the captain alone in the ship’s galley while she was preparing dinner for her crew. She explained that it’s a standing condition of working for her, that everyone eats what she prepares. She says it with a fond smile, and judging by the commotion of her crew later, I can only assume it is a well-beloved tradition.

Later, I cornered the former vicar alone in his cabin with the same questions I asked the captain. What follows is their individual answers to questions most personal and revealing!

1. Who can outdrink the other?

Captain Jameson’s smile purses when I ask this. She looks both demure and smug, a feat of expression I do not feel fit to describe. Her eyes sparkle at me as she speaks. “I do. He ain’t no contest. Ain’t met many who can, so it ain’t his fault, particular.” She lets out a small laugh. “Might could say I’m a bit o’ an expert.”

Mr. DeSoto scowls when I ask him. “She cheats. Not only does she have years of experience as a bartender, she also has special talents unique to her awakening in Halcyon that grant her an unfair advantage.” However, when I asked him to elaborate, he refused most vehemently. The man can be quite convincing.

2. Who says “I love you” more?

The captain turns her face away, but not fast enough to hide the pink in her cheeks! “Ain’t no need for it. We know what we feel. An’ anyway, he’s better with them fancy words, but it ain’t no account. Words ain’t the only way o’ lettin’ someone know.” She is fidgeting with a spatula in her hand; were it a knife, I suspect I might not have had the courage to ask.

When I ask Mr. DeSoto, he gives me a smug smile with one eyebrow raised. “I suspect she avoided the question. The answer is me, if you’re only counting words, spoken or written. I deem such a narrow view rather small-minded, myself.” There is an air of menace and judgement in his eyes that I don’t feel quite ready to challenge, and so I quickly moved the conversation along.

3. Who has trouble sleeping alone?

A small laugh escapes Captain Jameson’s throat at this question. She pauses over the vegetables she’s cutting and bows her head. “Me. Got me some... ghosts, you might say. Haunt me worst at night. Doctor once called ‘em night terrors. I ain’t slept so good most o’ me life, until Max come along.” She is definitely blushing again as she continues. “He scares them ghosts right off so I can sleep.”

“She does.” There is a small smile on his lips, but the vicar’s eyes hold nothing so much as concern as he speaks. “But it is no longer anything to worry. She does not sleep alone any longer. I simply won’t allow it.” When I ask him if he never has to leave for even a night, he offers me a severe frown. When I ask if anyone else might stand in his stead, his fist clenches and I nearly run from the room at the intensity in his gaze. But the tension passes and he simply shakes his head. “No. Those are not options.” He steeples his hands together on the table before him. “I take my duties to my captain very seriously.” The look in his eyes stops me from asking for further comment on that.

4. Who swears more?

She laughs boldly at this question, tossing her head back and letting it loose. “Oh, aye, that’d be a hard one. We both cuss worse than sailors what ain’t seen shore leave in an age. Don’t you let ‘im fool you on that one. He’s taught me color ought to make me own da blush, and that man ain’t never did blush easy!” She gestures with the wooden spoon in her hand to punctuate her point.

He straightens his back and lifts his chin, high and haughty. “I assure you, I am nowhere near as colorful with my language as my captain.” He pauses. “Unless there is a sufficient reason.”

5. Who does more of the housework?

The captain gives a quick nod, answering without hesitation or reserve. “Oh, I do, but only on account o’ how it calms me. I leave the worst o’ it to SAM. Can’t leave ‘im out o’ his job when Parvati done so much on his upgradin’, but the smaller things?” She gives a slight shrug of her shoulders. “I find comfort in it. Maybe it only reminds me o’ home, but I ain’t much for being waited on, hand nor foot. Ain’t sit too right by me.” Her lips twitch into a playful smile. “Max ain’t much like how I get it done afore he can help sometimes.”

The vicar’s posture is stiff once again as he clears his throat. “She has a penchant for accomplishing more chores in a day than many might think suitable for a ship captain.” He glowers at me for several long moments. “I do what I can.” It almost sounds like an apology, but his tone is too haughty for it.

6. Who forgets their anniversary?

A blush creeps into her cheeks as she glances away from me. “Maybe it ain’t so easy to remember when you got more than a few dates, all jumbled in.” She rolls her shoulder and returns to the pan on the stove. “I do me best.”

A slow smile spreads across his face at the question. “I remember them all well enough for us both. She has larger concerns.” The smug air in his posture and his tone are triumphant.

7. Who steals the duvet in their sleep?

Captain Jameson lets out an undignified snort. “Ain’t no call for stealin’. The duvet’s mine. He jus’ uses me for his own.” She shrugs. “Works well enough for us both.”

The vicar refuses to meet my eyes. He clears his throat and folds his hands on the desk in front of him. “We are quite adequate at sharing it. I am more than content with our sleeping arrangements. However, I see no reason to divulge further.” When I mention what the captain said, he winces slightly. He clears his throat again. “Yes, well, she’s most comfortable sleeping on top of me.” I press further, asking him about his comfort. He turns a slight shade of pink. “As I said, I am content.”

8. Who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?

“He might snore, but I ain’t never hear it.” The captain smiles. “‘M always asleep first. No idea how he manages it, but...” She gives half of a shrug. “I ain’t mind even if he does. Wouldn’t keep me up. Long as I can hear his heartbeat, that’s all that matters.” She turns away and focuses intensely on stirring the contents of a mixing bowl.

Mr. DeSoto steeples his fingers once again and fixes me with one of his stares I’m becoming familiar with. They feel what I imagine a sprat might sense in the presence of a primal. “I do not believe I like the implication of that question.” He pauses for several long moments. At one point, his lips twitch and I suspect he might divulge something interesting. Unfortunately, he seems to change his mind quickly. “Snoring is not an issue.”

9. Who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?

She whirls on me with sudden fury. “If you’re makin’ a crack about Felix, I’ll-” She stops when she sees me holding my hands up and the shocked expression on my face. She frowns and looks away. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with takin’ in them what needs it, if I can afford it. Person or animal, ain’t make no difference.” She glares hard at the pot on the stove as she stirs. “Ain’t care what Max has to say about it. No call for no beggin’. It’s my fucking ship.”

The look in his eyes is hesitant as he meets mine. He glances away. His jaw works and I follow his gaze. There are several singe marks on the rugs on the floor, and there’s a stack of books in the corner that look to be half charcoal. I look back to find him glaring at me. “She finds them, but there is no begging on her part, I assure you.” He refuses to elaborate no matter how I try to cajole.

10. Who usually makes dinner?

She turns her head over her shoulder slowly to glance meaningfully at me as she switches from stirring the pot to deftly maneuvering the pan over its heat source, flipping the contents within it with practiced ease. “I like cookin’ and ain’t mind doin’ the lion’s share. But we usually work together most nights. He likes helpin’.” A smile plays on her lips. “Even learnin’ pretty good, he is.” She glances at me once more. “He’d be here now if you ain’t asked different.”

After the captain’s answer, I must admit I felt some trepidation in asking this one of her husband. However, he merely grinned. “If she had her way, she’d do all the cooking all alone.” He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “But I’m a stubborn man when it suits me. And being in the kitchen with that woman is its own kind of magic. She can’t chase me out, no matter how she might try.” He smirks. “Besides, if I help, I keep the rest of the crew out of the way.” His eyes twinkle just a little. “A man can’t always deny his own jealousy, I suppose.” I feel as though I’m missing a part of the joke, but I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile all the same.

11. Who plays their music out loud?

The captain gives me a confused expression. “Lord, you ain’t tell me people listen to them jingles on purpose, is you?” She shakes her head. “Ain’t no kind o’ music, none o’ it. Been pushing Udom on that point, an’ think I’m gettin’ ‘im somewhere. Though, really, it’s Nora who’s better at it. And them artists Phineas woke up, I’ve got hope for them.” She smiles. “Maybe one day I will play some real music again.” She turns back to me. “But them jingles? Never.” She flinches and shakes her head vehemently before returning her attention to the stove top.

The vicar sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. “The captain has banned corporate jingles from the ship entirely. I’ve lost what little taste I ever had for the OSI hymn.” He pauses and puts a finger to his lip for a second. “When her sister visits, they sometimes get to humming together.” Here, his expression softens more than I’ve yet seen it. “It’s really quite lovely.” The smile is small but the light in his eyes is gentle. Unexpected from a man who seems so hard. Perhaps this is a glimpse of the man as the captain sees him? The man who captured our Savior’s heart? Ah, but it is replaced in a flash with another harsh glare pointed at me as he accuses me of writing more than I ought. Again.

12. Who hogs the bathroom?

The captain turns her back to me sharply. I hear a stifled sound as she leans over the pot on the stove. Her shoulders shake slightly. It’s a moment or two before she turns to give me a look so stoic, she must have learned it from her husband. “He always says he only takes as long as he needs. I ain’t mind it unless the rest o’ the crew start complainin’. Mostly got the worst o’ it solved now, though.” She smiles softly. “I got me some ol’ Earth tricks, you might call ‘em. Archaic, but they work. An’ it means I can watch ‘im.” She ducks her head away. “Ain’t no crime, keepin’ him to my own self when I can.”

Mr. DeSoto’s back stiffens at this question. He does not meet my eyes. “I take only the necessary amount of time no matter what those upstarts might tell you. Youth has no understanding of careful hygiene. Certainly not spacer youth, at any rate.” He glances at a small, stuffed creature nestled on the bed. “Our daughter will learn better, if I have any influence in the matter.”

13. Who gives the most compliments?

The captain blushes and refuses to look at me or even to speak at all. She simply shakes her head no matter how many times I repeat the question.

The vicar’s smile is indulgent. “I do, much to her chagrin.” He raps his knuckles softly on the desk. “One day, she may even begin to believe them.”

14. Who usually starts/causes arguments between them?

“They’re always his fault, I ain’t care what he says! He’s a stubborn ol’ goat and he ain’t never-” She cuts herself off and darts her eyes away. She takes a deep breath before giving a curt nod. “He does.”

The vicar’s eyes narrow. “She does. She’s an indomitable woman.” His lips curve slightly. “It hardly matters who begins them. We are quite good at them, the both of us.” He lets out a small chuckle. “My wife is the sort of challenge a man needs in his life. I shall leave it at that.”

15. Who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?

The captain freezes. Her back tenses and the stillness in her frame is more than a little disconcerting. She lets out a sudden breath when I ask if she’s all right. “I’m fine, ain’t nothin’.” She shakes her head to dislodge a stray lock of hair from her eyes. “If anyone’s embarrassin’, it’s me, though I ain’t try to, mind you.” She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Can’t help bein’ as I am, right enough.”

The vicar sits back and frowns. “I am sure she said she does. She’s quite wrong about the matter, but she’s a hard woman to convince out of an idea. There’s not the least embarrassing thing about her.” He lifts his chin. “I dare anyone to be more proud of their ship’s captain than I am of mine. And I defy anyone who should ever imply themselves more proud of their spouse than I am of mine.” The haughty  tone in his voice barely conceals the anger beneath it. This is the defense of his captain I witnessed when I first arrived. It seems it is not at all an act, in my estimation. The man is ferocious in his defense of Captain Jameson.

16. Who gives the other cringeworthy pet names?

She shoots a glare over her shoulder in my direction. “Ain’t sure what that means, but I call him Vicar or Preacher on account o’ that’s what I always called him, and he mostly calls me Captain. Otherwise we jus’ use names. Got no call for nothin’ else.” She returns to her cooking without another word.

The vicar, too, bristles at the question. He is tense and his whole demeanor reeks with rigid formality. “I do not feel any desire to cringe at our preferred nomenclature. There can hardly be complaints about perfectly reasonable protocol.” The man can become decidedly prickly about the most surprising details.

17. Who fusses over the other when they get sick?

The captain laughs at this one. “Oh, that’s both of us, to be sure. Can’t neither o’ us stand it. We’re both terrible patients, too. Only makes it worse.” She continues laughing. “It’s just the way o’ us. Ain’t so bad. Gives us excuses for what we want, no how.” She shoots me a conspiratorial glance. “He’s definitely the worse patient, though.”

Mr. DeSoto glowers fiercely. “She is absolutely impossible when she’s ill. It takes my every effort, but I will not be persuaded to do less.” When I mention some of the captain’s response, he shifts about, lifting his chin and letting out several suffering huffs of air. “She is far worse! I have no choice but to fuss, else she’d only harm herself further! She never thinks of herself, and if she’s ill, it’s impossible to keep her safe, I-” He stops, clamping his jaw tightly shut. He glares at me, obviously realizing he’s saying more than he intended. Lucky for you, dear readers, that I am so quick with my datapad!

18. Who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long?

For this question, their answers are eerily similar. They both level me with a formidable glare and defiantly state “No comment.” I suspect them both quite capable of holding long grudges, and I would prefer not to be on the receiving end of one, so I move on quickly.

19. Who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?

The captain lifts her shoulders to her neck. She’s putting the finishing touches on the meal she’s so diligently prepared, but her discomfort is entirely for my question. “That’d be me, though I ain’t proud o’ it.” She swallows hard. “The man makes me feel safer than anyone else ever did. I can’t seem to help myself.” She offers a small shrug before ducking away once more and concentrating on the last arrangements of the rather impressive meal she’s pieced together through our conversation. I must admit, I am eager to taste it myself!

Mr. DeSoto frowns at me. “I would prefer you had not asked her that.” His tone is flat. He stares at me for a long time. “There is no shame in it. I am grateful she trusts me with it and I will not break that trust, so I shall speak no further upon it.” The chilliness with which he greets me will not thaw one degree for the rest of my time aboard the ship after this.

20. Who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)

The captain grins wickedly. “Oh, we’re evenly matched.” She won’t elaborate, but the mischievous light in her eyes alludes to more than answer enough, I assure you, dear readers.

The vicar, too, remains similarly tight-lipped, but the fire is apparent in his eyes. “I have no complaints. I am a very satisfied man, but I am a gentleman and keep such details where they belong.”

The rest of the evening was an amiable one. The ship is filled with camaraderie and comfortable familiarity. The captain’s cooking is something even the finest chef’s of Byzantium would be hard pressed to compete against, I may happily report! As well, the captain and her husband remained close for the rest of my time aboard, and their answers here only convince me further that theirs is, indeed, quite different than the corporate contracts of old. The rumors of their marriage being unorthodox are well-founded.

And with that, dear readers, I bid you adieu.

[alorenawrites]

On Words and Meaning

So I've been thinking a lot about how Loki is being discussed and the words used, particularly by Hiddleston, given his bent for using literary language in his descriptions. There are three words I want to touch on in this little post, one of them definitely rooted in his usage.

So the first I want to touch on is the term "romance." We've heard (often from Hiddleston), that Loki is, at heart, a romance. I think there's a dimension of the discussion missing in these conversations in that is important to consider.

To the layman, a romance is simply a love story, sometimes with a sexual undertone. But in the literary sense, a romance is a much deeper genre. I want to consider that this layer may also be present in Hiddleston's intent on using the term in describing the story arc. It certainly is in mine, as someone with a fascination with literary form and also with an English degree who has spent way too much time exploring genre.

So firstly, we need to define "romance." From literaryterms.net:

I. What is Romance?

In the strictest academic terms, a romance is a narrative genre in literature that involves a mysterious, adventurous, or spiritual story line where the focus is on a quest that involves bravery and strong values, not always a love interest. However, modern definitions of romance also include stories that have a relationship issue as the main focus.

II. Examples of Romance

In the academic sense, an example of a romance is a story in which the main character is a hero who must conquer various challenges as part of a quest. Each challenge could be its own story and can be taken out of the overall story without harming the plot.

Example 1

A knight who wishes to prove himself by recovering a stolen heirloom from an enemy may find himself attempting to make his way through a dangerous wood filled with thieves.

Once he has accomplished this challenge, he may find himself climbing a tall mountain on which a group of people are in trouble. He would save the group somehow, and then move on.

Then the final stage: the enemy’s kingdom. There may be a fair maiden whom he meets and somehow helps or rescues, or perhaps she helps him.

But the fair maiden is not the focus of the story – his quest is the focus. Each story can be taken out, yet each builds the hero’s strength to face his final quest. These stories tend to be serious rather than humorous and touch on strong values.

In considering this, I've thought about Loki's arc as a quest that does, indeed, involve the discovery and exploration of strong values with a three part quest, though I don't think the quests entirely stand on their own. The overarching theme is about Loki discovering his sense of self- his quest to become a full person, not just a trope for the universe to exploit so others can reach their better selves. I divide the show up in to three quests. The first, in episodes 1 and 2, is Loki finding a sense of purpose in the new world- his quest is to discover who this new variant is and where they are hiding. This is resolved by the end of that second episode. The second arc takes place in the next two episodes- Loki discovering his empathy for others is the continuation of the overarching personal development plot, while his quest is to discover Sylvie's goals and to uncover/share the truth behind the TVA. And in our third section, episodes 5 and 6, we get the culmination of the personal growth arc in his ultimate discovery of different facets of himself (illuminated by the different elements of self shown in the multitude of variant Lokis) while the quest is to uncover who is in control of the Sacred Timeline and why. The differences in colour palettes, settings, tones, etc. between the three episode pairings is a part of how I started to distinguish my thoughts on each. And regardless of the visual distinctions, I most definitely see the entire arc as exploring strong values and bravery, though the bravery is multi-layered, showing not only the visible bravery of facing down an apocalypse, Alioth, etc., but the internal bravery of challenging one's self and digging deep into discovering who one really is. This is a theme of queerness that I see lingering in this series- discovering who we are is a process, not an outcome.

I think that this definition of a romance, in the classical sense, is a little oversimplified, as there is often a theme of discovery of self or improvement of self along the way. In a Gothic romance, themes of "the people are the real monsters" come into play (Crimson Peak is an excellent example of this)- there may be elements of the supernatural, but the real thing of which the viewer/reader should be afraid is the person behind the curtain. Gothic romances also often do include a love story arc, but it is often deeply flawed on some level and often also includes some sort of sexual or romantic awakening, often by a female lead, that leads to the discovery of whatever darker is taking place (Crimson Peak turns this on its head in that it is Thomas' awakening with Edith that leads to his turning point and Edith's realization that the Sharpe siblings are the monsters, not the ghosts in the hall). The themes of discovery of self, or of the fortitude of moral values, or of the journey of a person's development, play into both a Gothic romance and its foundations in a classical romance.

So. There's part 1 of this ramble.

On to part 2!

The next word I want to examine is the term "relationship" and its companion, "love." Now, mind you, I come at this from a queer perspective as a demisexual, demiromantic individual, so these two words are ones I've spent a LOT of time pondering, in the quest to define my own identity.

We've heard the term "relationship" tossed around so often with only a romantic implication attached, but in truth, this word is so much more broad than this. You are in a relationship with your barber. You are in a relationship with your cat. You are in a relationship with a spiritual advisor, a professor, your best friend, your partner. Just because it is so heavily used in this way doesn't mean the relationship is only an intimate one (though intimate relationships are also not inherently sexual or romantic in nature, either, so let's remember this as well). Now if we break down what a relationship is, it's just a consistent interaction with someone based on some common interest or goal. It's a remarkably benign word. Its connotations, however, take it in a multitude of directions.

So let's look at it through the lens of an intimate relationship and add in the component of love. We'll start with just a blanket statement that love is not only one single thing. It isn't just romantic. It is our family, our friends, our pets, pie, the colour blue, that feeling of perfection when the waves of a warm lake brush over your calves...love is embedded in the experiences of these things. We love them. Love it as vast and broad as relationships. We love places, people, things, and experiences. We love ourselves (or we try to learn to).

In my world, through my particular brand of queerness, love changes in intimate relationships on a regular basis. I love my partner dearly. But on some days, that love is to my best friend, while other days, it is a romantic love and on others, sexual expression may be involved, but they may overlap in different ways. Sexual expression is independent of romantic attraction and the degree of each isn't tied together in any way. If we can separate these things, I think we can see the relationships in our everyday lives in different lights and with greater complexity.

I also think that looking at these things through the lens of diverse sexual and romantic experiences can inform how we interpret the Loki x Sylvie pairing and why some of us just aren't bothered by it (though certainly not the only reason people aren't).

We've been told Loki loves Sylvie. That much is beautifully clear. But love (and being in a relationship) doesn't automatically mean that 1) both parties are experiencing it in the same way, 2) both parties have the same approach or priorities, 3) the level of romance is necessarily the same between the people involved, 4) that sexual attraction exists at all.

Sometimes a kiss is a form of communication and not tied to the want to shag someone.

So this is where my interpretation of this particular pairing comes into play. I do see the story as a romance, in the classical sense, but also with a slight streak of the more modern sense involved. The focus is still on the quest, even when the love story emerges. And that is where I see the priorities of these characters and their definitions of the relationship differing and I analyze it through these different dimensions of love and relationship orientations.

Loki actually embodies one of the traits I've seen listed for demisexuals- we hold our friendships extremely close and because we hold our friendships the way we do, it isn't uncommon for us to end up with crushes on our best friends (and no, they don't generally develop into other forms of relationships, but they could). This is the phase in which I see Loki by episode 6. He has formed this intense bond, unlike any other it seems he's had, and his heart is breaking over the thought of losing her to her own rage. All he wants is for her to be OK, remember? This isn't a selfish action. But I think it is significant that while he tries to stop her, he's not the one who initiates the kiss. All his actions here are ones that a close friend would also do for their best friend. Like, I'd try to stop my besties from inadvertently destroying the universe. I'd even throw down over it. And for the exact same reasons- the risks are too great, we need to think, and I want them to be OK. Almost everything Loki does throughout his growing closeness to Sylvie is something I'd do for one of the people I've told I'd defend- as in, I literally told some of these people, "anybody messes with you, I'll cut a bitch- just tell me who and I'm there."

So because of all this, I don't see this relationship as sexual in any way. Romantic? Possibly. But not necessarily. Even being in love with one another doesn't mean a relationship has to have a sexual component.

Looking at Sylvie, I see her also as having found companionship with Loki, but her overriding goal is, ultimately, not to bond with someone- it's her mission. And she has sacrificed her entire life because of the TVA to this mission. She tells him repeatedly, in one way or another, that the mission comes first. Yes, she does care about him, but I don't think the way she cares about him is the same as the way he cares about her because they have differing priorities and needs (and hence why she feels betrayed by him when he tries to stop her). Or at least she hasn't allowed herself to express that. When she falls to the ground after she's killed He Who Remains, I think we get a glimpse of what Loki meant to her- she is alone, she grieves, and there is no meaning left to her story. She's done what she dedicated her entire life to and the person who could have given it other meaning is no longer beside her.

I still don't think that the first thing they would do upon seeing each other is suck face and have wild sex. Would that bother me? No, not really. I can headcanon something different than what actually happens, I'm fine with that (just look at all this glorious headcanoning happening right here!) I'd like it to stay a romantic friendship (queer platonic relationships for the win- they're squishes!) because I don't think we hardly ever see those types of relationships and queer platonic relationships are incredibly beautiful and powerful and yes, based on love and maybe even romance, in their own way. They are defined by the people in them, as are all relationships.

And now to address "but she kissed him!"

Yes, she did. And I've kissed my partner when there wasn't romance involved because I wanted to share a moment, to express something deeper than I had words for (yes, even on one of my aromantic leaning days), or just because it's fun. And it doesn't have to "match" up with how the other partner feels it, either, so long as the message itself is what comes across. This is how I read the Sylvie x Loki kiss. It was a message of worthiness. Loki's entire arc, including in that scene, is in discovering if he's anyone different than the monster he's made himself out to be (and encouraged others to see him as). He tells Sylvie that he can't be trusted, falling back on the habit of characterizing himself as the professional liar, the one who can't form those attachments which are built on trust. He also identifies her as someone incapable of trust in that moment, which I think is also a projection of how he sees himself. He tells Mobius he can only trust himself and the show slowly shows Loki coming to trust others, but in this moment in the Citadel, he's falling back on a different perception of himself.

This is where the kiss comes in, for me. Sylvie isn't trying to tell him she'd jump him right then and there, if things were different. Sylvie is trying to tell him that she does trust him, that he can be trusted, and that he is worthy of the affection of a friend, even if she can't have him in her way. She is prioritizing her mission, yes, but not without giving him some sort of reassurance, in her own way, that this rejection isn't personal. That he isn't too broken to be loved. It doesn't have to go into romance (not saying it couldn't, just saying it isn't a requirement). It doesn't have to go into sexual relationship territory.

Maybe I see this so vastly differently because of my experiences exploring gender, sexuality, and romantic orientation. Maybe I see this so differently because at this stage in my life, I would absolutely kiss a friend if I felt something so heavy was going to break them. I have a friend I say "I love you" to every time we talk on the phone or video chat- we've been together for 20 years. I've got photo proof of a snuggle pile of friends when I was a young adult. I've shared a bed with a friend with no reason other than that we didn't want to sleep on the floor and why not. I've had friendships that were awkward to start and intense once they got going that are absolutely still important in my life. I've had crushes on friends that have faded and just shown me another dimension of what it is to love someone. I've watched adults who struggle to make connections to other people discover those moments of awkward "how do I do friend mode?" and come out stronger for them, with that huge sense of victory hidden behind a small smile they don't want to share with anyone else quite yet.

I see so much possibility in how we interpret a television show reduced to "it's a romance and that's sick and incest and he wants to fuck himself!" and it just saddens me that so many people have such a limited understanding and experience of the depth and breadth of human relationships and of how people love one another.

[rockislandadultreads]

Poetry Picks for Everyone: Books to Read for Poetry Month

Playlist for the Apocalypse: Poems by Rita Dove

In her first volume of new poems in twelve years, Rita Dove investigates the vacillating moral compass guiding America’s, and the world’s, experiments in democracy. Whether depicting the first Jewish ghetto in sixteenth-century Venice or the contemporary efforts of Black Lives Matter, a girls’ night clubbing in the shadow of World War II or the doomed nobility of Muhammad Ali’s conscious objector stance, this extraordinary poet never fails to connect history’s grand exploits to the triumphs and tragedies of individual lives. Meticulously orchestrated and musical in its forms, Playlist for the Apocalypse collects a dazzling array of voices: an elevator operator simmers with resentment, an octogenarian dances an exuberant mambo, a spring cricket philosophizes with mordant humor on hip hop, critics, and Valentine’s Day. Calamity turns all too personal in the book’s final section, “Little Book of Woe,” which charts a journey from terror to hope as Dove learns to cope with debilitating chronic illness.

The Truth About Magic by Atticus

The Truth About Magic builds on the pains and joys of romance explored in Love Her Wild and the New York Times bestseller, The Dark Between Stars—heartbreaks and falling in love, looking back and looking inwards—by taking a fresh, awakened journey outward. An adventure into the great unknown. It’s about finding ourselves, our purpose, and the simple joys of life. It’s about lavender fields, drinking white wine out of oak barrels on vineyards, laughing until you cry, dancing in old barns until the sun comes up, and making love on sandy beaches. The Truth About Magic is a vibrant, transcendent journey into growth, which will leave you energized and eager to explore the wider world.

I Could Pee on This Too: And More Poems by More Cats by Francesco Marciuliano

There's a new cat in town! This feisty sibling of the international bestseller I Could Pee on This will be making its own sensational mark in the cat-poetry world. I Could Pee on This, Too explores fresh feline emotions and philosophical musings through cats' own poetry, such as Welcome New Cat, Sleeping My Life Away, and You Also Live Here. Any cat lover who's longed for a deeper look into the enigmatic world of their cats will fall whiskers over paws for this well-versed follow-up.

I Would Leave Me If I Could: A Collection of Poetry by Halsey

Grammy Award–nominated, platinum-selling musician Halsey is heralded as one of the most compelling voices of her generation. In I Would Leave Me If I Could, she reveals never-before-seen poetry of longing, love, and the nuances of bipolar disorder.

[pennamesmith]

Skeletor Ain’t Heavy

Two brothers seek out a community, and Wrong Hordak reflects on the past. More Skeletor stories, if you want ‘em!

*

Two brothers walked the hallways of Bright Moon palace. They were Horde clones, cautious, curious, and concerned. 

“Are you sure this is the right way? I’m certain we passed that decorative waterfall twice already,” the shorter clone complained. He had swept-back ears, and two extra eyes that would never open. 

“Don’t be rude,” the other chided. Tired wrinkles hung at the corners of his eyes and mouth, but he shared the same chestnut shade of hair as his brother.  

“Not only do you trespass in my domain, but you insult me as well! I know the way, I’ve been there before,” squawked the gangly robot guiding them. He strutted purposefully ahead before halting at an arched entryway. “Ha! Here it is! Now, with this magic spell, we shall open a gateway to an evil, little-known dimension!”

He knocked on the door. It swung open. 

Wrong Hordak stood on the other side, bouncing on his feet and wearing an effervescent grin. “Hello, Skeletor!” he said to the robot. “And welcome, brothers! Please, come in!” 

The exuberant clone stepped aside and beckoned the other two through the door. They followed, and found themselves in a modest space filled with a number of other Horde clones. The flock milled comfortably about the room, striking up conversations, taking fruit slices and coffee from a table in the back, and gradually getting settled around an open ring of chairs. 

“Is it your first time here?” Wrong Hordak asked. 

The older clone nodded. “Yes. I am named Sunder, and this is Zed. Skeletor told us about your support group for former members of the Horde. May we join you?”

“Of course!” Wrong Hordak beamed and motioned for the newcomers to join the circle. As they did so, the only other person in the room who wasn’t a clone — a prim-looking lizard — quirked an eyebrow in Skeletor’s direction. 

Double Trouble, a plate of honeydew in hand, sauntered over to where Wrong Hordak stood. “I thought Skeletor left with the princesses on that big interdimensional field trip?” they whispered, bemused.  

“Oh, he couldn’t find a pet sitter for Relay,” Wrong Hordak replied, gesturing to a small robotic puppy sitting happily on a pillow in the corner. Skeletor gathered it up lovingly and almost seemed to smile. 

“Stop licking my face, you dratted dog!” Skeletor whined as Relay greeted him enthusiastically. “Gah! You’re drowning me!” 

He made no motion to put the mechanical mutt down. 

“What? But that doesn’t… oh, never mind.” Double Trouble sighed and wrapped themself around Wrong Hordak’s arm. “In that case, darling, we may as well get started. I want to hear from the fresh meat!” 

They joined the group. Wrong Hordak gave a short clap to bring the session to order, and the ring of clones hushed. They watched him expectantly. 

“Welcome, everyone!” Wrong Hordak began. “Thank you for coming. Today we are joined by two new friends. Brothers, are you willing to share your stories with us?” 

Zed nodded. “We’ve been living in the Crimson Waste since the end of the war, under Huntara’s protection. We were both on the Velvet Glove when it became, ah…”

“The Space Tree,” one of the other clones supplied. 

“…The Space Tree, thank you. I am — was — being grown as Horde Prime’s next holy vessel. But I decanted prematurely when he was defeated by She-Ra.” Zed looked guiltily away from the others. “I have never known a world without freedom from Prime. Yet his evil will always mark me.” 

“Whereas I,” Sunder continued, “served the Galactic Horde for many years, and committed many atrocities in Prime’s name. There was even a time when I imagined myself his top general, though I have since learned that this was a lie he told to many of us.” 

Several of the clones nodded sympathetically. 

Sunder touched the wrinkles on his face. “But even we clones grow old. I was scheduled to be decommissioned, until Prime fell and awakening came upon us all. His death granted me new life.” 

“Hello, Sunder!” the group greeted in cheerful unison. “Hello, Zed!” 

“Thank you for sharing, brothers,” Wrong Hordak commended. “Is there anything you wish to ask of us?” 

Sunder shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “There is. I came here because I want to know… how can I live with what I have done? How do any of us atone for the pain we caused under Prime’s control? We’ve worked as hard to heal the planet as anyone, but is it enough?” 

“And how can we be sure never to harm anyone else?” Zed cut in. “How do I know I will not make the same mistakes that created Prime?” 

“My goodness! Such pathos,” muttered Double Trouble, not unkindly. 

“I also have this fear,” one of the clones volunteered. “My sleep cycle is often interrupted by unpleasant fantasies. I imagine myself saying, ‘If Horde Prime created me in hatred, am I not doomed to hate?’” 

Wrong Hordak nodded in understanding. “It is not shameful to have such thoughts. And I also know what it is like to have memories that… no longer give me pride.” He narrowed his eyes. “I served Horde Prime in many battles on many planets before I met the liberator Entrapta and her friends. Regretfully, I can remember most of them.” 

“Yes, I have such memories too,” said Sunder. “Sometimes I wish they could still be taken away from me, but I know that is not the way.” The old clone had an earnest expression. “Please, what rituals may I perform to calm the storm inside my mind?” 

“I have found that nothing works for every one of us without error,” Wrong Hordak replied, glancing around at the gathered individuals. “Yet for many of us it is beneficial to think of choosing love instead of hatred. It is not an easy task, of course, but it is still our greatest power, to choose.” 

“You are who you choose to be,” Double Trouble stated sagely, their features flickering for a few moments. 

“As for my memories,” Wrong Hordak went on. He took a deep breath, as if he had been pondering what he was about to say next for a long time. 

“Looking back, I find most of my life acceptable and good — and most of it I wouldn’t change. I can see the surprise in your face! But yes, I would choose the same progenitors, the same siblings, whatever their flaws or mistakes. I would fall in love with the same person and plan the same future.”

He shared a warm look with Double Trouble. “So the regrets — and there are many of them — are not a rejection of fate. They are essentially hindsight. If I know them.” 

Wrong Hordak spoke the if with conviction.

“Now certainly, if I had just been decanted, knowing what I know now, I would have behaved differently. I might imagine that I should have done this, could have become that, and my life would have been richer, more governed by love and concern for others, more full of life, spirit, humor, adventure, experimentation, risk-taking.”

He gave Double Trouble another knowing glance. “However, in those moments I am looking at my life as the director of a play might look at the script. They might say ‘cut that awful scene’ or ‘have him act more compassionately.’ But they are the director. They know the end of the story! Whereas I, an actor, had to grope along, trying to find the right way, and trying to find the courage to do what I should have done.” 

Wrong Hordak sighed. “So now, I suppose I have to forgive myself for being a messy infant. For being afraid of bullies, for not understanding others, for wasting time, for feeling negative and discouraged, for not expressing love more effectively, for not opening myself to the experience of what others were willing to give me.” 

Zed and Sunder were leaning forward, listening intently. Nevertheless, something in their expressions still seemed uncertain.  

“I don’t understand,” the older clone ventured. “Wouldn’t you still change the past if you could?” 

“And how do you know what to do now?” Zed added. 

“I don’t,” Wrong Hordak shrugged. “I have imagined, if there were an all-powerful being, and they told me, ‘Very well, I shall grant you another try,' and if I lived the same life over, only better, what would happen? At the end, would I feel satisfied? Proud?”

“Yes?” Sunder tried. 

“Maybe?” Zed guessed. 

“I would not,” Wrong Hordak replied, gently. “Because there would still be an entire universe of variables! As a result of the experience of the second attempt I would only cry out, ‘I’ve failed again! Now, as a result of the second attempt, I clearly see how it should have gone! Oh please, let me stay for one more try!’” 

Sunder contemplated this. “And how would your hypothetical omnipotent being respond?” 

“They would say, ‘It is no use, Wrong Hordak. Nothing can be perfect. The third attempt would only bring an increase in wisdom and a completely new set of regrets.’” 

Zed and Sunder sat back as they took this in. Then they looked at each other, and seemed to reach an unspoken agreement. 

“I believe we have much to discuss,” Sunder said eventually. 

“Do you meet at the same time every week?” Zed asked. 

Wrong Hordak smiled. 

*

Later, after the group had concluded their meeting and most of the attendees had left, Wrong Hordak paused thoughtfully while he stacked the chairs and cleaned up the space. 

“Witless fools, do I have to do everything for you?” Skeletor muttered, passing by with the mop. 

Double Trouble noticed and approached their clone lover. “That was a lovely speech you gave today,” they said. “Would you really not change anything in your life?” 

“There are many things I might have done differently,” Wrong Hordak admitted. “But if the events of my existence had not transpired exactly as they did, I would not be where I am now. And I like where I am now very much.” 

“Bravo,” Double Trouble applauded. 

They embraced. 

“Hmph! That’s your opinion,” Skeletor grouched. “I don’t do things for humanity, I do them for me!” He shook his head. “Oh, why do I surround myself with fools? Even the robots are smarter than you!”  

[lighdramons]

Hi I'm back. I promised awhile ago I’d tell the story of the fucked up digi.mon cult, so I figured that’s a great start for getting back onto this hellsite.

If the read more works, everything will be below the cut and it is a mess. Just a few things before the cut though:

General TW as I will be bringing up some of the bad experiences I had as well as talking about mental illness.

I will not be using names of sites, usernames, etc. I will not answer on specific users either. I’m sure these sites are still operating somewhere privately and back in the day, some of these people were big in the Digi.mon community outside of the sites as well.

If any of the people involved see this, no ill wishes towards you guys, just my take on things.

I quit these sites back in early 2015. I do not know what happened after I quit. I am only still in contact with a few individuals who either quit around the same time as me or long before.

As a general courtesy, some of these sites still exist. Please do not go harass them. A lot of the public sites are just teens trying to figure out themselves.

If you have questions or comments after reading this whole thing, I’m happy to answer any either publicly or privately. And yes, you can reblog this post.

We need to jump back to 2007 to begin with. I was a middle schooler getting back into Digi.mon because I walked into Gamestop and Digi.mon was sitting in the new releases. And I had access to the internet. I did binge S1-5 with subs and watching reruns of the dub on Toon Disney. I spent some time on the big fansite. Great site, just bad experience at the time because I was a teen and probably lied about my age. I didn’t feel like that was the community for me. I do check it every day now for news, just never made a new account cause I don’t even remember what I used back in the day.

By end of 2008/beginning of 2009 I began looking for other sites, stumbled across the digiclipse stuff on the bad encyclopedia site, looked into it, thought it was neat, moved on. Stuck with the big site for now because the only other sites I found were RP sites and not my thing at the time. Got hit hard with depression at the start of 10th grade (late 2010) and found my way back onto the digiclipse stuff. Didn’t really believe most of it, but thought the idea of creating AI Digi.mon was neat. Joined the smaller of the two sites because it felt friendlier and most users seemed my age.

For people who do not know, digiclipse is the act of going outside and holding the toys up hoping to get teleported. Most people by the time I joined thought the people who did this were crazy. Some people liked to do it for the lolz though.

Anyways, most of what happened on the sites was just talking and hanging out in chat rooms about life and other things. It was pretty chill. I can’t speak for everyone on the sites, but for me it was an escapism kind of thing. I was depressed and hated life so pretending that a magical adventure was a possibility gave me some hope. But honestly, got a group of people who were cool to talk with for the most part. There was one older female in her mid 20s that would come in the chat drunk and sexually harass the other female users and tell all the male they should die and are worthless. Nothing was ever done about her. And honestly it was weird having her there when most of the other people on the site were under 18. That was initially my only bad experience on the sites.

At some point during 2011, there were three individuals who claimed to see and speak with their digi.mon partners. And that they could read your aura and tell you exactly your digi.mon partner. And everyone believed this shit, mostly because two of them were prominent members and how could they lie. The process was simple, you would DM them either a creative piece you’ve done (art, writing, etc) or send a photo of yourself and they’d come back in a few days and tell you who your partner was. There was only ever one individual this method of tracking did not work on and that is yours truly. Oh and at the time it hit hard because I had started falling down the rabbit hole. This is the beginning of the cult-ish stuff.

Then the Ouija board happened. I have no issues with what happened during the fucking around with said Ouija board, I have issues with everything that spiraled out of control after. They fucked around with it confirming people’s partners that the others had “found”. And eventually they asked about mine. And then it was basically said, “oh we can’t tell you the results”. I was eventually added to this secret site of “The Chosen”. And basically told, “oh your partner is the offspring/creation of THE BIG BAD” and there were all sorts of debates on what to do about it. I literally thought I was getting punked at first and these people are clearly taking this whole thing too far. No, these people all believed this. Oh and the best part, most of the people involved in this “chosen” group were in their mid 20s. Me being a depressed as fuck 16yo that just wanted something exciting in life ended up eating all this up. I felt special and chosen. I look back on it now and I’m like what a fucking idiot.

We were all taught from the three who could do the stuff I explained earlier how we can also learn to bond and communicate and see our partner. I had absolutely no progress. Eventually this stuff led to everyone in this “chosen” group getting a “special guardian spirit”. Again, I made no progress on this. And to the point where they made me feel special again, I was the only person who had the wrong “guardian spirit” and they eventually found my “real one”, more on this later.

These discussions moved from a forum site to a private skype chat room, and then further smaller private chat rooms. The movement to skype is where I started having some bad experiences. I gave a few of my “close” friends on the site my phone number, soon everyone had my number. And this happened to multiple people over the years. My own stupidity at the time.

This stuff continued as I finished high school. At the time, I still managed to maintain my social life with school friends, keep up my grades, etc. Got into college with a good scholarship in my dream field. And then I started to go downhill once I got to school. The longer this stuff went on, the more you were expected to be involved. Including being on skype calls all night. It slowly began consuming my life. I ended up not only with depression, but ending up with an ED that was tied to anxiety so I’d go days without eating. I was seeing things and hearing voices, which was highly encouraged because it meant things were working. I literally could not tell the difference of when I was asleep or awake. I honestly do not remember the majority of my freshman year of college. I had no real friends and was just barely scraping by grade-wise. And well, the academic year almost ended with me hanging from a pipe in my dorm.

I ended up running the site I started on as an admin after the original admin team left. And it was expected you do not mention any of the “secret” stuff on the main site. Over the years I know it became clear to the users not included that there were secrets in the background. And those who knew stuff would actively fuck with these users. And if I haven’t made it clear yet, there was a hierarchy to this whole secret group. And it was the original three who were mentioned at the beginning that were on top. And what they said was gospel. Whatever they claimed is what happened and whatever rules they had were the rules. But of course certain people could break the rules and get away with it.

This next part happened at some point during my freshman year and will be relevant again later on. This is the biggest TW section so skip if you have to. I had a user dox me. He had my home address and threatened to post it. He had sent it privately to a few other users as well that alerted me of this. His reasoning? I would not date him or say I loved him. He told me that he would come to my house, murder me, r*pe my dead body, because he is the only one who gets to have me. Another user got involved and called the cops. I do not know if anything ever came of this because I never spoke to anyone about it. I at the time had admin privileges on one of the sites so I banned him and blocked his IP and I blocked him on anything I could. And I continued doing this over the years. I was told I was a bad person for doing this because I did not understand him. This lead to a lot of the things in the above paragraph getting worse.

As this all continued, there were battles and casualties and everyone ended up with like 20 partners. And if you haven’t noticed I’ve stopped using the term digi.mon entirely in the past few paragraphs. That’s because oh they weren’t digi.mon. They were spirits/dimensional beings that took on a form we were comfortable with and we formed a bond with. And I kept going along with all of this because I was in too deep at this point. And obviously yes, this all made sense. So at some point during this time, my “spirit” went to sleep and a new one “awakened”. And I of course still went along with all this. The BIG BAD kept mutating into stronger forms and blah blah blah.

During my fall semester sophomore year, I joined theatre at my college and did tech. Honestly, one of the reasons I was able to begin breaking away from this. I started to get an actual friend group and have less time for these sites. But there was always a pull of “you have to be here”. You were expected to be on skype calls and/or active in chat.

Well, that all changed at the start of 2015. They wanted a deletion of all the other sites and they would have one site united under one belief system. I was not a huge fan of this and made this known, but also offered to help in the coding as that was a skill I had that no one else really had. It got out around that I was a cunt and a power hungry bitch and blah blah blah. If it was just that, I would probably not have left. No no no, I was accused of lying about the shit that that user said and did to me. Because he is such a nice guy that could never do that type of stuff. And unless I provided the receipts I was clearly an attention seeking liar that wanted to ruin his life. That was the straw. I fucking blacked out in a rage and attempted to delete some of the different websites, I blasted some of these people on their real facebooks, and then I deleted all of my accounts and blocked everyone and blocked their numbers.

After that, I started talking with other people that quit. I started enjoying my college life. And I tried to act like none of that stuff had happened. I distanced myself from those individuals that were active in the Digi.mon community. I stopped hearing the voices and seeing things. I started going to therapy. My road hasn’t been perfect, but I’ve come a long way since I got out of this stuff. Honestly going to meet up with one old member after covid is all clear cause we’ve known each other for over a decade now and its about time we finally meet in person.

So yeah, that’s my story. I know I jumped around a bit and thoughts might not be too clear, but I wanted to share the fucked up things that happen in the background of the digi.mon community. Did I have good times? Hell yeah. The Olive Garden incident still to this day is iconic. We played d&d oneshots sometimes. We had memes. We all watched xros and hunters together live. And I still have some good friends out of this. The most fascinating thing out of all of this is everyone from the community that I still am either in contact with or see them via social media had admitted over the years to suffer from some kind of mental illness and has come out as part of the LGBTQA+ community. My own conclusion is a lot of us got sucked in due to depression/escapism and just a feeling of not belonging. And being around people of similar age with similar interests just made things more bearable at times. It also made a lot of us very vulnerable to the manipulation that took place, whether it was intentional or just one big group delusion created by multiple mentally ill people. I call it a cult, but I'm sure people will disagree with me. Whatever you want to call it, it wasn't good for my mental health in the long run.

If this shit is still going on, I hope people aren’t letting it consume their lives. And I just wish the best for everyone even if some of the shit hurt me.

As I said up top, if you want me to elaborate on anything or have questions, I’m good with talking about stuff. If you know me IRL and are reading this and are like "RACHEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK" I owe you a drink and explanation. And of course it Is okay to reblog. This is one hell of a comeback post on this site, am I right?