#and at the same time blue and gansey have really found each other

[letthesunshinein]

there’s something so beautiful about the way ley lines and cabeswater are used to talk about trauma and healing??

so much of the dream thieves is about ronan coming to terms with his existence as the greywaren and his sexuality and it manifests as night horrors until he comes to terms with himself, and then he finally has control (over his dreams) and knows what he wants (adam)

and when adam has a total breakdown/dissociative episode and finally goes to fox way to work with persephone the first thing he encounters is his memories of abuse, of feeling alone, of pain. and it’s only after he moves through it that he can start to heal, that cabeswater can start to heal

and both of them still have to deal with their anger and trauma throughout the rest of the series but dream thieves really just cracks these two boys open so that new things can grow

[lizpaige]

okay wait I find the TRC graphic novel major arcana tarot assignments are so interesting and I am assuming that MStief had a say in this, so let me share some quotes from her book about tarot for the individual card meanings. Tarot has all different meanings with similar themes, but I thought it'd be interesting to look at what stief thinks about these cards herself.

All quotes are from Illuminating the Prophecy by Maggie Stiefvater. I highly recommend the book if you're interest in tarot or just are obsessed with the series.

BLUE - JUSTICE "When you see the Justive card, it reminds you that you may have fudged the rules a little and got away with it, or you may have persuaded others that your dubious choice was a correct one, but the universe believes in an absolute right or wrong, and you will get what you deserve based upon that. This card is also a reminder that your reward or punishment is often unseen. A bad turn performed on someone else will haunt you years later, and likewise, an unnoticed kind event will create its own reward inside you. At the end of it, you will become the product of these actions: you are the Justice. There's an intense comfort to knowing that you have this control, especially if you feel your good intentions are being taken poorly." - pg. 41-42

ADAM - THE MAGICIAN "Regardless of who or what you believe in, the Magician is an extraordinary master of all trades, and he is resilient because no matter what the world throws at him, no matter how much he loses, he will always have the most powerful tool at his command: himself." pg. 21-22

GANSEY - THE CHARIOT "The duality that the Lovers card mutters about becomes a proper problem by the time the Chariot shows up in a reading. There are two sides to you, seemingly opposite, and you keep being thrown from one to the other. In many decks, this card depicts two beasts of different color pulling a chariot; when they agree on a direction, the chariot moves forward swiftly. When they disagree, the chariot grinds to a halt. You've ground to a halt... "The chariot's not moving because you can't figure out how to get yourself in line. You can't figure out which you you want to be. The Chariot isn't really about choice, though. It's about balance. You aren't cutting one of the beasts free so that you can move on without it. The chariot will move with only pone of them, but not as fast as if you found a way to make them both move in the same direction. The Chariot tells you that there is a way to satisfy the warring parts of you. Find your self-control, embrace your dark and light sides, and enjoy the ride." pg. 33-34

RONAN - THE LOVERS "This card can represent actual lov ers, and when it does, the love pictured is epic - the pairing pof two souls so complementary that it seems obvious that some greater power has designed them for each other. But it can also represent a duality inside you, and the complementary pairing it refers to is your inner self and your outer self. Just like in a great love affair, everything is perfect when both sides of you are working in harmony. And just like in a great love affair, the world crumbles when you war with yourself. The card speaks to the power of wholeness and knowing yourself." - pg. 31-32

NOAH - THE HANGED MAN "The Hanged Man is all about sacrifice - not a martyr's sacrifice, but a scholar's sacrifice. He goes not only willingly, but pleasantly toward his hanging, certain that the time spent in agony will be worth it... When this card shows up in your reading, it's a sign that whatever answer you seek is not going to simply be handed to you. You need to level up in some way, and it's going to require a genuine effort on your part. It doesn't mean that it requires hard work or a huge sum of money... It requires you to literally prostrate yourself on the altar of wisdom, holding yourself vulnerable, looking deep inside yourself for answers. You've got to let go and be willing to let knowledge and transformation take you." - pg. 43-44

[yathmcclane]

more on this one

Adam asked Ronan one thing only, the kids must go to Aglionby, if after graduating they decide to not go to college and stay working at the barn or doing whatever they want he will be okay with that.

but not matter how much the kids look like Ronan they are also Adams kids so they have a knack for studying and being competitive at it.

but they are still kids so when they were younger when they didn't want to do homework they would just say their dad never graduated and he did fine so why should they learn about multiplication?

Ronan realizing he was setting a bad example so he goes back to school to get his Ged, now every afternoon he sit in the kitchen table with his kids as they do homework together while adam helps them (and ronan)

during highschool at Aglionby unlike what adam and Ronan thought. the kids do well in school, they do so they could get into a good university. also they also like that they are in the same school their parents met and fell in love and the same school they met uncle gansy

they want to make adam proud by getting into a good college without the help of their family influence or money

even though now with ronans money plus Adams job they have more than enough to pay for a good college/university and not have to work after for a life.

during oldest first day the old teachers immediately saw the family resemblance, when asked with a shaky voice if out of curiosity his father was also a student, that went there the boys happily with a dangerous smiles like Ronan's answer proudly that yes, both their parents went to Aglionby, curious the teacher ask both? and the boy confirms that adam is his other dad, making the teacher leave a breath of relief that they may look like ronan but maybe they are as studios as Adam

-

Gansey is the godfather of the middle boy, being Declan the godfather of the first and Mathew of the last.

but Gansey being Gansey the kid has some English old name that only an old man could have. while gansey was really proud of choosing a good name with a deep meaning everyone just calls the kid by a nickname, everyone except gansey (the Older boy would be named niall and ganseys kid named noah)

-

the Lynch clan has a reputation in Henrietta. they went from almost being wipe out to doubling in size, specially every summer when all the kids reunited at the barns.

they are everywhere in Henrietta during summer.

they can be found at Nino's or a 300 way fox, spending time with the grandmas psychics, Ronans boys being the kids of their father love Messing ith granny calla (a name that started with ronan wanting to annoying the woman but stuck with the kids)

they can be found at Nino's or on the streets racing, or exploring the forest.

-

maybe is because they are the daughter of a dream and their grandfather was a dreamer but when the girls are together they could see... things, they love spending time with their uncle adam, the only person in the family who could understand that side. he teaches them how to read cards, during summer they could be found on the kitchen table doing readings to themselves and laughing at things only them could see.

the gift comes into play when painting, much like their mother and aunt they got a talent for it, sometimes their drawings would be scenes of the future.

it started with finger paintings that became too accurate, a drawing of the family together the day Ronan and Adam visited them as a surprise with the boys, a drawing of declan with a blue stain on his shirt, next week a blue pen exploded while Declan was working. small things like that, it becomes more accurate when they are in the Henrietta.

unlike the boys in the lynch family the girl can't go to Aglionby, so they sent them to some fancy rich private all girls school in the mountains, the best of the best, (like to think they also have their own adventure, an academy with secrets, like a psychic headmistress. weird energy in the school forest, and a mystery, like to think at some point they ask uncle adam for help, being the more knowledgeable on energy and how to strengthen or weaken it.

-

Adam and Ronan's kid love working in the barns, the inherent their fathers love for it, but they also love dreaming.

dealing with 3 kids that could pull anything out of their dream was a challenge. when the boys were kids scary movies were ban in the house, what if one of the kids pulled a monster from the nightmares?.

so no scary movies for the lynch boys.

they had to deal with a lot of weird toys, animals, from a multicolor cow to a unicorn, to toys that would to the impossible like a lava lamp with fireworks inside or a snorkel that would let you breath under water.

sometimes while his boys dreamt Ronan would follow them inside, Adam with now years of experience could follow ronan and his boys to the dream space, where they would spend time as a family seeing the things the kids would come up with and telling them what they could bring and what not.

and there would always be their forever young older sister opal, who seems to never grow.

Mathews kids had a hard time coming to the truth of their bird but with Mathews help they manage, like Mathew was dreamt to be Love all the kids were created with a similar thought,

the oldest a boy, bought by a rich couple from a dreamer, dreamed to be the perfect kid, perfect score in school, sociable, the perfect trophy kid,

then the girl, dreamt by a grieving couple who lost their daughter, dream with the though of her on mind, a little kind playful girl who always brings joy to any room she enters, maybe too much joy,

the last one another boy, same age as the girl, dreamed by a lonely old dreamer who just wanted a family, but because of his ability lived in seclusion alone. you could say the boy trait is just to be family, people feel familiar with him.

when Mathew found them he asked his family for help, Hennssey and jordan helping making sweetmetals, adam helping strengthen it (if adam can make energy lines stronger and ley lines are energy, couldn't he do the same with sweetmetals? he did it before with the mural, like he always positions rock draw sigils etc and everything but a pendant with a mini painting and in the back adam carve some symbols in the metal making it stronger) Declan managing the legal part and ronan dreaming then kids toys and stuff, (maybe he can also dream sweetmetals now who knows).

The boys went to Aglionby with Ronan and adams boys and gansey kids, the oldest same age as the oldest boy and the second same age as the youngest, and gansey and blue's kid.

while the girl went to the same school as the triplets.

-

Gansey babysitting the boys always ends in disaster, gansey idea of babysitting while he goes with the best heart thinking he could teach the kids some welsh kings facts it was more like a history lesson. being trouble makers they would mess with Gansey more often than not, once Ronan and Adam found Gansey tied to a chair while the boys were running around him screaming and laugh.

[ganseyenthusiast]

anyways since the theme of post-TRK seems to be that every single character ignores any development they had and gets worse, I'm listing everything out here + with a rating of how likely I, the authority of everything ever, think it was. greywaren spoilers obviously

1. Declan: Decides Dad was good all along, disregards real actual emotional abuse and parentification as "misremembering" how great Niall was. 6/10. CDTHEU Declan is a very different character to TRK Declan, I still think he's been too self aware throughout to suddenly walk it back THIS severely. I predict a severe breakdown for him age 30 since I've never witnessed someone do Denial as their last stage of grief.. it’s gonna be explosive

2. Ronan: Disregards his family for the majority of his arc, is worse to them than in TRC. does not call gansey for months. finds a new FP instead of a therapist. emotionally worse off. does find himself via terrorism I guess? 9/10. pretty on brand for Ronan to go scorched earth and suffer zero consequences. I do wish he was made aware of his birth circumstances and displayed the same love/grief for aurora/niall that he's shown in every book except greywaren. are you telling me he can look at the New Fenian and be OKAY?????

3. Adam: ‘Reinvents’ himself, suffers, lies, suffers again. Does not call gansey. Suffers in the VoidSpace, apparently with no lasting consequences. becomes a narc. 7/10. I was hoping for a more self aware adam post TRK but him choosing to pull a Henry Cheng is also pretty on brand. wish he'd actually broken up with Ronan for at least a week. him becoming a narc is unfortunately pretty accurate to character but government jobs are not famously well paying so it really does feel random? the only thing he’s done that’s close to sleuthing is inventing pedo murder charges for his teacher/keeping with the bryde stuff. plus he's still not utilizing his magic skill so this just feels like a continuation of the Harvard arc for the rest of his life which is REALLY baffling when u compare how many times TRK insists he's a magician and will remain a magician/psychic despite everything. seems he's growing MORE disconnected with himself. i’m all for negative development but it’s really being framed as a happy ending which is baffling ngl

4. Gansey: has a sociology degree + is only associated with blue (and nobody else) in the 4-5 years since TRK. Completely reversed his stance on henrietta being home, on "I'd take all of you anywhere with me", on his dedication to history/archeology. does not seem too concerned about Ronan going insane, still odd despite the time he's had to get used to it. 5/10. horrible representation of gansey but I DO like that he's focusing on himself instead of raising pynch. as i say this i remember the ring thing and grit my teeth. complete ignorance of Henry AFTER his whole "friends forever and ewer" TRK thing gives me a good playground to make things worse so I like it but it's definitely weird. how did being a teenager specifically suck for you king because I think Being Dead trauma is unrelated to age

5. Matthew: nearly found independence + love in the abrasive way that lynches give it, then was disregarded emotionally and still not given an apology for the Everything from declan. 8/10. extremely on brand for the lynches to not hold each other accountable. Matthew seems to have improved somewhat + Declan is less overbearing about him, so I like it, I'll take it

6. Henry: went into Seondeok's black market low level mob business, got divorced?, does not speak to bluesey. 10/10. it’s so bad. absolutely off brand for the entire theme of him rejecting the Orders his mother who Literally Forced him to come to henrietta gave him (did not begin this game looking for a friend etc). refutes the entire "find your own something more" theme, refutes the "three of us" theme, refutes the "im going to make something great" motives. and I love it. TRULY my worst ending for Henry is becoming yet another fairy market nepotism casualty. he will Literally never escape and it’s FANTASTIC it is so much fun. Ha Ha You Have Become Your Mother

7. Fenian/Mor: live at the fucking barns now. 1/10. you are telling me a series whose entire THING is based on growing up/overcoming grief/moving on ends with THE FUCKING LYNCH FAMILY BACK AT THE BARNS?????????? WHAT THE HELL???? WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH ANY OF THIS??????????????????????????????????????????????????

[faeparrish]

Hello I finally finished greywaren and I’m really curious to know what is your opinion of the epilogue? I’ve seen mixed reviews about it 🤔🤔

hm yeah. i’ve been trying to gather my thoughts on the ending because i also have slightly mixed feelings about it. i loved the book as a whole but the epilogue felt like it missed the mark several times. there were parts i liked but generally speaking i think stief could’ve done a lot better; i got the sense she rushed through it and just tried to throw as many old characters and inoffensive moments into it as possible. considering it’s essentially the epilogue to the entire trc series i can understand that it was probably a lot of pressure to write but it definitely fell short as a satisfying ending to this world. i’m gonna try and break down my thoughts under the cut because there were a lot of things that stuck out to me!

i think the main issue with the epilogue for me was the tone; it was so vastly different to the rest of this series and it didn’t seem to fit naturally into the story at all. it all felt very cutesy and everything’s all tied up in a neat little bow… which didn’t really make sense when one of the major themes of the books was about not fitting into boxes, the power of forging your own path, etc. i think for a series that embraces imperfection and confronting the messy parts of life, it ended very…neatly. like it felt far too idyllic. in comparison to trc epilogue which was such a beautiful and bittersweet send-off, this just didn’t have the same impact at all. i really liked the open-ended energy of the trk epilogue, and i think that kind of style could’ve worked just as well for greywaren.

kinda jumping off the first point but it felt too much like fan service for it to feel very accurate to the story. ending it on a wedding felt.. idk i don’t wanna say cringe but it was kinda cringe lol 😔 some of the character cameos were also really random like why tf was henry’s mum at their “close friends” wedding and why does declan suddenly have this weird frenemies situation going on with her 😭 also why were the fox way ladies at declan’s wedding lmfao i don’t think they ever even interacted. i also don’t quite understand why the new fenian and mór just moved into the barns again, especially considering mór was the one who wanted to leave in the first place; her whole thing was about wanting more and now she just tends a farm and lives the simple life? idk maybe it makes sense from a different angle but i can’t see it

there were definitely some parts of it i enjoyed; i found the whole gansey and blue boring everyone w their degrees thing rlly funny. matthew working for free on a sweet potato farm was also quite funny. i liked ronan and gansey’s little conversation, and i liked that adam and ronan are finally able to live independently from one another in their relationship. i think the way the proposal happened was probably accurate to them in the sense that they both know where they stand in their relationship - it implies that they do actually communicate with each other now. then again, after the whole merging consciousnesses thing a proposal doesn’t really feel as impactful lmao. maybe that was the point and it wasn’t meant to be seen as a big deal (the way it happened seems to suggest that) but she really wrote one of the most beautiful scenes in the entire series where they became soulmates in the truest and most intentional sense of the word, and then ended the series with them getting casually engaged. they really went and upstaged themselves huh ♥️

also this is slightly outside of the epilogue but i have to say, some of the characters’ arcs were slightly anticlimactic. for example, declan’s whole epiphany about niall felt a bit like a cop out by the end. like all his formative childhood trauma and complicated emotions and years of resentment were essentially resolved when he was like wait i was dad’s favourite? damn ok. forgiven ♥️ like she kind of vaguely delved into his feelings about it but not in a way that felt very considered. we got the moth moment in the epilogue but that was also like. idk. it’s been 4 years i feel like y’all would’ve done this already by now lmao. it just felt squeezed in at the end. and matthew’s arc kind of fizzled out too which was a bit sad. no resolution for the way he was treated by declan especially. he went from going batshit and punching declan clean off his chair (10/10) to hiding in a box and doing some colouring with bryde. like it was a funny scene but it didn’t serve a purpose to matthews character; he just got sidelined again. carmen also got massively sidelined at the end wtf. she was barely mentioned in the epilogue, which sucks considering she was one of the main ensemble, and she had all that unresolved stuff with hennessy. i think it would’ve been nice to see more of those two in the epilogue. and then of course we have adam 😔 who the hell knows what happened there. we know his scenes got cut so there’s not much to say about that now, but when maggie said his arc wasn’t over in trk what she really meant was that it maybe concluded in greywaren, but you’re not allowed to see it ♥️ he’s a fill in the blanks character now. did he ever finish harvard? unclear. what about the crying club? deemed irrelevant by the author. is he a spy? maybe. i like to think he’s in his dana scully era to console the fact that he has a government job (🫤👎)

anyway tldr: i really wasn’t expecting that kind of ending so i was slightly thrown off when i read it. it also read a bit like fanfiction and was a little too neat/predictable for this particular series. it didn’t feel like it worked alongside the rest of the book and some of the characters didn’t get satisfying endings. i’d say overall i loved the book but the epilogue/ending was slightly underwhelming and felt very rushed.

[dangerous-fighter-fairy]

So I found my own text post in a raven cycle fan post on Instagram (which was VERY surreal) so I figured I would elaborate on why I think gansey is autistic (or maybe more in the category of Asperger’s which is no longer a diagnosis since it’s just another way that autism can present itself but that’s what I was told I have and I can see some of the traits in him. Folks who were told they had Asperger’s are generally the “very smart and bright child who doesn’t know when to stop talking” variety of autistic, myself included, because were apparently very clever and smart but we can’t read facial expressions well).

I’m not saying this is 100% canon and everyone has to believe me, it’s just how I perceive him and I figured I would explain why! Also this is based purely on book one because I haven’t read the rest of the series yet :)

Eating mint leaves. One of the things that often accompanies autism (and other neurodivergencies but I’m focusing on autism here) is unique sensory things. Many people find it difficult to feel certain textures or don’t like being hugged which is referred to as sensory sensitive, but people can also be sensory seeking in a way that they enjoy textures that others don’t (such as walking around barefoot to feel the contents of the ground outside). The mint leaves are not only natural bee and wasp repellant, they also smell distinct and the leaves have a specific texture to them that isn’t really a typical crunchy or smooth one like lettuce. I once put a tomato leaf in my mouth when I was overwhelmed and it didn’t taste half as good as it smelled but it did have a funky texture that grounded me and helped me think more clearly

Masking. One thing autistic people learn to do as they grow up is called masking aka hiding their autistic features so they don’t get made fun of or treated poorly. Blue often notes that Gansey has a specific demeanor in public or when he needs to be in control of others where he seems more polished and confident in himself (the “president cellphone” side of Gansey). Sometimes, though, this side of him slips away and reveals almost a different person underneath. A lot of this is seemingly attributed to him being rich and his parents raising him to be polite and formal and such, but I could see it as his in public masking side as well

Special interests. I mean, who knows anything about welsh kings other than a very niche group of people? This was attributed to his near death experience where someone told him he would live because of Glendower, but I can see it as a hyperfixation of sorts too. He researches Glendower and the lay lines constantly, sometimes it’s the only thing he thinks about. He also lovingly crafted a journal detailing his findings and grows uncomfortable when it’s not around. The thing that really had me convinced of this was when he mentioned Ned Kelly and Blue didn’t know who that was. Gansey was genuinely confused for a second because he thought that was common knowledge. Man, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Australian outlaws aren’t exactly common knowledge to most people

Talking. I have never been too great at talking and only recently gained more confidence in it because I feel like I finally figured out how to understand when people are joking and when I should joke with them (I was bullied a fair amount as a kid so it took me a while to understand that friends sometimes tease each other by insulting each other. That means that half of the teasing I got in middle school could have totally been people trying to be friendly with me in their way and I just didn’t know that because I took their words at face value but I suppose we’ll never know). Multiple times in book one, Gansey thinks to himself about how he needs to use his words more wisely and think about them more carefully before he speaks so he doesn’t upset anyone. I do the same thing

The pig. Autistic folk are often very comfortable with things that others deem unusual and many of us have a hard time with change. Driving his car (which is a nice car but also old, unreliable and in his dad’s opinion, a bad idea) could be a form of Gansey staying in his comfortable zone because it’s what he’s used to. I do the same thing with my devices or blankets or clothes, I wear them out because I don’t want to replace them until I have to. They’re what I’m used to, after all. Upon getting a new computer and phone when it was time for me to upgrade both, on both separate occasions, I had a very strong reaction to the new device and the fact that they were mine and had to put them down for a long period of time to calm down because them being new and unfamiliar was too shocking for me (I did a lot of hand waving and shaking and teeth chattering which is what I do when I’m overwhelmed).

So yeah that’s my reasoning behind thinking Gansey could be autistic. There’s so little food and authentic representation aside from “little white boy who doesn’t talk, hates being touched, and likes trains” or “super genius with a stone face who is so tragically misunderstood” so I tend to look for it where I can haha. Thank you for coming to my ted talk and good night :)

[henryclaremontdiaz]

moonchild

Gansey felt like he was an expert in a lot of things, like traveling and Welsh kings and strong, professional handshakes. But there were also things he definitely was not an expert in, like cars. And feelings. -- Gansey realizes his feelings for Henry Cheng go deeper than he originally expected. read on ao3

Gansey felt like he was an expert in a lot of things, like traveling and Welsh kings and strong, professional handshakes. But there were also things he definitely was not an expert in, like cars. And feelings.

It wasn’t that he knew absolutely nothing about these things, because he did. He vaguely knew things at least about his own car, even if he couldn’t fix it on his own. He had to listen to Adam and Ronan talk about that enough that it was a big factor in that. And feelings were the same. It wasn’t like he hadn’t loved before, both platonically and romantically. He had loved Blue so much it almost hurt with how bright and hot and fast their love burned for each other. 

He still loved her, he loved her so much in a way that he never imagined ever loving someone. But as time went on, as things calmed down, he had to wonder if everyone really only has one “true” love, or if there were different loves in your life. Is your first love your true love? Or can you have a love that’s essentially your true love, but it not be the true love that you’re supposed to spend your life with? Maybe some people were destined to love again and again.

Maybe he was one of those people. 

There was a time where he thought he wouldn’t love, not romantically anyways. He was too busy traveling and searching and always just wandering and wondering. When he met Blue and really got to know her, he realized that he was capable of love, oh was he capable of love. And he had more love to give than anyone could have imagined.

Even with knowing that, he was still surprised when he found himself getting feelings for someone else.

As he laid in bed next to Blue in her room, he felt her shift to look at him. 

“I can practically hear you thinking,” she said, laying on her side. “Talk to me, Gansey.”

“I think I like guys.”

Blue hummed, her hand on his arm. “Okay. Cool. Just guys, or…?” she trailed off, questioning but not pushing or accusing of anything. That’s one thing he always liked about her, she was a lot of things but judgy she was not. 

Outside of their choices with their money, of course.

“Girls too,” he assured, staring at the ceiling. “Don’t worry about that.”

“I wasn’t worried. Though it’s nice to know that our whole relationship wasn’t a lie,” she said with a laugh, making him feel a little better already. She always knew how to help him calm down when he’s getting anxious, and was there anything more anxiety inducing than having a sexuality crisis? “Why do all of my boyfriends come out as bi?”

Gansey couldn’t help but laugh at that, as he finally turned to look at her. She was so beautiful and sweet, and he was always going to be thankful for her and always care for her. Even if their relationship was all but over. 

Blue’s hand moved up to cup his face once he turned to her, a fond smile on her lips. “I’m so proud of you, and I’m glad you told me,” she said softly. “You’re strong and brave. And the same Gansey, nothing’s changed just because you like guys,” she assured. She knew she didn’t have to reassure him on that, but it needed to be said. “So is there a guy you like?” she asked, her smile turning a little more devious. 

Gansey’s face heated up slightly at that, shrugging at the question. This wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with her, but she had that look on her face. That knowing look that Blue had down to a science. She always knew way more than she should. 

“No,” he grumbled, looking away from her.

Blue’s smile just grew at that, sitting up. “You do!” she said eagerly. “Talk to me,” she said, nudging him. 

Gansey groaned, putting his face in his hands. This was another thing he was bad at, talking about these kinds of things. He could go on and on about history, sure, but ask him to talk about his romantic interests and he clams up. “I-just as long as you promise not to judge me,” he started. He peeked over and noticed her staring expectantly, and he just sighed. She was one of his best friends, he could tell her. “Henry Cheng.”

“I knew it,” she said after a moment, a small smile on her face. “I fucking knew it,” she chuckled. “Come on, out of all the guys in the world you’d like, it’d obviously be him.”

“I don’t... what does that even mean?” he asked after a moment. “I don’t even really know how much I like him, if I really do like him. I think I do though,” Gansey rambled awkwardly. “I know I like guys. Guys are great. Now that I look back, I definitely like guys. Sometimes I thought about kissing guys. A lot. That’s not exactly straight, is it? But do I like Henry?” he wondered aloud as he looked up at the ceiling. 

“That’s for you to figure out,” Blue said after a moment, her voice gentle and her hand resting on his chest. “You’re a smart boy, Gansey. You figured out your feelings for me, you can figure out your feelings for Henry Cheng.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“Then we’ll deal with that when we get there.”

One thing Gansey hated though, was uncertainty. 

He loved mystery, he loved the chase, but fuck did he hate uncertainty. He hated being unsure about this, about his feelings. All he knew was that he didn’t want to mess up what he had with Henry if he didn’t like him back, Henry was someone he had grown to truly care about. Someone that he bonded with over so many things. Something that taught him how to be stronger even when he was terrified just by being happy.

That was one thing he admired about Henry, his philosophy of trying to be happy through the pain. That was still something Gansey needed to work on, using happiness to get through his fears, but it wasn’t that hard when he’s around Henry. 

When he found himself at Henry’s a couple days later, he couldn’t stop his mind. What was new though? Henry was watching TV, and he was watching Henry. How did he feel about Henry? What did Henry feel for him?

Did Henry feel anything at all for him?

Thinking back, he didn’t even know what sexuality Henry was. He assumed straight, but now that he thought about it he’s never heard of him going out with anyone. Girl or guy. So really he could be anything. Straight. Gay. Bi. Ace. Who knows? It probably wouldn’t be polite to ask, how would he even do that anyways? ‘Hey Henry, what genders are you attracted to?’. Gansey would rather just die.

“What’s going on in your mind, Gansey boy?” Henry asked as he looked back at him, turning his body to face him better from where he was sitting on the floor. “You’re not even paying attention, are you? I’m hurt,” he said while he grabbed his heart playfully. 

Gansey smiled slightly at that, he was always so dramatic and it was strangely endearing. 

“Sorry, no,” he said after a moment as he glanced back at the TV. He genuinely had no idea what was going on, he only agreed because Henry seemed excited about it. And they had barely hung out since they came back from their roadtrip. It was lame, he had missed him. 

When they had gotten back, they had all decided to take a little time apart. They had just spent a year together in a car, traveling, they had had too much of each other. But it hadn’t taken long for Gansey to start missing Henry. He had thought he wouldn’t want to even think about him, about either of them. But he found himself drifting towards Henry before he knew it, his mind on him all the time. 

It wasn’t like he had felt the same way about Blue, when they took a few days apart after they returned from their trip he felt like he was missing something. Everyone kept telling him that they couldn’t handle being with people for that long, especially someone like Henry or Blue, but he really enjoyed it. They were probably two of the only people on Earth that could deal with his running around and his fascinations with all the history around them.

They really did love him, and he loved them. Both of them. 

And fuck, maybe he was in love with Henry. 

“I can see the wheels turning in that beautiful brain of yours,” Henry said, giving him a small smile as he paused the show. “What’s going on?” he asked. 

Gansey took a deep breath, his head tipped back. It was hard to look at him, his smile made his heart beat hard against his chest, made his stomach flutter.

And it made him nervous.

“Nothing. Just… thinking. Always thinking,” he said softly, trailing off. He risked another peek at Henry and he felt his face grow warm at the sight of him.

“I have something that can help with that,” he said, standing up and offering him his hand. Gansey swallowed thickly as he took it, standing up himself. Henry’s hands were so soft, it was hard to stop himself from lacing their fingers together. 

He led Gansey to his own car, motioning for him to get in. Gansey got into the driver’s side and started up the Camaro, and he started down the road. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you when to stop,” Henry assured him. They drove in silence for a while, the radio playing softly to try to keep his mind focused. There was no one else out on the road, and when he asked him to pull over he did easily. They parked on the side of the road on the edge of a field, and he got out when he heard Henry’s door open. 

“What are we doing?” he asked, and watched as Henry climbed up on the hood of the car. He patted the space next to him and Gansey quietly climbed up next to him. They leaned back against the windshield and Gansey looked up at the sky, all at once a calm falling over him. There was something about the night sky, it made him feel so… small.

He knew all the things that were out there in the world, he knew magic and psychics were real. This universe was so big, and he was but a tiny speck in it.

“What are you thinking about now?” Henry asked, breaking the silence of the night. 

“How big everything is and how small I am in it,” he said, staring at the stars. “We live in a world of infinites, and yet here we are - living in the here and now. There’s a million different choices that could’ve been made by a million different people that could’ve changed the outcome, but still here we are. Everything in our lives has led us here, sitting under the moon tonight.”

Henry let out a small hum, his head turned towards Gansey. “You’re too wise for your own good, Richard Gansey,” he said softly. “You need to turn it off sometimes. Kiss someone, smoke some weed, drink a cocktail.”

“Well since the last person I was with couldn’t kiss me without killing me, I think that first one isn’t an option,” he pointed out with a small chuckle. That was one of the things that hurt about being with Blue. He loved her and they had a perfectly fine relationship without kissing, but kissing was very nice. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” he said, before his eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, the last person? What happened to you and Blue?” he asked. “Did you guys break up?”

“It’s… complicated. I guess,” he said, finally turning to look at Henry. “I love her. I’ll always love her. But…”

“I get it,” Henry said after a moment. “I do. So that means you're single, huh Gansey boy?” he asked.

“I guess I am,” Gansey said with a nod. “We had a long talk about a lot of things. I told her some… new things about me. She understood. We decided to just be friends.”

“What kind of things?” he asked carefully.

“Well for one, that I like guys,” he admitted, averting his eyes. Gansey made sure to leave out the whole ‘I have a huge crush on you’ part of it. He decided that would probably be overkill.

“You do?” he asked, a small smile on his lips. “I kinda had an idea. No one that’s straight has so many queer friends. Ronan, Adam. Me,” he said easily, and Gansey’s heart picked up again. Him?

“You?” Gansey asked softly. “So… what are you? I mean, what do you like?” he asked, a little embarrassed. Henry shrugged, taking Gansey’s hand in his again. This time he laced his fingers with his, and Gansey didn’t know what to think. He didn’t want to think. He just wanted to live in this moment.

“I like what I like,” he said, looking down at their hands.

“And what do you like?” Gansey asked carefully.

“Well for one, you.”

For probably the first time in his life, Richard Gansey III was speechless.

“You like me?”

“Of course I do. How could I not like you?” he asked, a confused look on his face.

“Well you’re so… you. And I’m so me,” he pointed out. “You’re so fun and loud and carefree. And I’m just boring Gansey.”

“You’re more than that,” he said, leaning his head against Gansey’s shoulder. “You’re the first person I ever felt comfortable enough around to open up to. Everyone just knew the loud, fun me. No one knew about what happened to me as a kid, about my anxiety and my PTSD. But I felt safe with you. I always feel safe with you.”

Gansey swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, Henry really felt that way about him? “I feel safe with you too,” he admitted. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, and Gansey nodded without a second thought. Henry leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, and yeah - Gansey definitely knew now how much he truly liked Henry. And it was a lot.

Gansey’s free hand moved to cup Henry’s jaw, and when they broke the kiss he smiled against his mouth.

“So I guess you like me too?” Henry teased. Gansey chuckled, nodding before pressing his lips to his again.

“I really like you.”

[91percentpynch]

non-binary adam parrish delivered by me, a genderqueer person

adam parrish always knew that they were different. not in the sense that they were poor and their best friends were from the richest families in west virginia. not in the sense that they grew up in a trailer park and thought for most of their yet so young life that they were unable to be known, to be loved, to be wanted.

no in the sense that they always felt like they didn’t fit in any kind of boxes. they weren’t rich enough to in in aglionby, they were too different to properly fit in their crying club. they just felt like nothing fit them.

they always thought they were a guy, using he/him pronouns because that’s how it is done. that’s how it always was, there are no other options really. and for the longest time they also didn’t really care. what do pronouns matter? they never really had anything that was theirs they never had friends that referred to them, they never had anything worth having an identity crisis over

until they did. until they found gansey and blue and noah and henry and nost importantly ronan

ronan lynch, from the moment they kissed for the first time adam knew this was a forever kind of thing

ronan lynch who’s all tough outside and sharp edges and loves so deeply and fully

ronan lynch who gave them something worth an identity crisis

the Havard Gender Crisis as adam called it affectionately started when they had to take a gender studies class for their major

it’s the first time they heard the term non-binary, the feeling of not fitting that felt so familiar to them

adam - the nerd they are - spent hours upon hours researching being non-binary and with each passing moment he felt the weight in his chest becoming lighter and lighter until they figured this is it, this is the box they finally fit in

on their research adam also learned that what is between your legs has nothing to do with your gender identity

they learned that people all over the internet put their pronouns in their bio to show support to the trans community

pronouns were a funny thing because you can use whatever makes you feel the most comfortable

they also found neo pronouns

at first they sticked with he/ him because it felt comfortable, it was a habit, it was what always been there

and maybe that was also the problem, it was always there. beaten into them.

that got them thinking and so they tried they/ them pronouns. because it felt natural, it felt like coming home, it felt like ronan’s embrace safe and sound

and that’s what they sticked with for now, maybe they’ll change them maybe not

but with the comfort came also anxiety. what if ronan would break up with them? technically they weren’t a guy anymore, even if being referred as one didn’t bother them too much

and that’s how they ended up calling ronan at 2 am, because all the inportant things, all the beautiful and terrible and good and horrible things happen at 2 am

ronan: parrish what the fuck is up with you?

adam: do you ever feel like you’re not a guy?

ronan: well i certainly am not a chick

adam: can you take this fucking serious you asshole

ronan: fuck parrish what’s up there in your pretty head?

adam: i’m non-binary. that means i’m neither a guy nor a girl, i’m simply a person.

ronan: what are your pronouns?

adam: they/them. will you break up with me now?

ronan: adam, why the fuck would i want to break up with you? seriously, entertain me

adam: cause you’re into guys and i’m not one

ronan: see that’s where you’re wrong, while i may be sexually attracted to male bodies i’m not into men. i’m into you. it’s called demiromantic and i chose you. every single day of my life i will be choosing you. no matter what your pronouns are, no matter what’s between your legs, i will always choose you. now tell me about being non-binary, i wanna know what’s going on inside your head and i wanna understand every single little thing about you

for none of the two of them sleep seemed like an option anymore. adam told ronan everything about the binary and not fitting in there and ronan listened, asked questions here and there

the next time adam came back to the barns for spring break they looked happier than ronan has ever seen them

ronan: there they are, the love of my life, the light of my existence

somehow ronan made that sound endearing and sarcastic at the same time

ronan: i thought about what you told me and i did my own research on pronouns and i think i wanna try he/ they for a while

i love you so fucking much was the only thing adam had to offer

BONUS

adam starts wearing dresses and skirts blue makes them

they wear nail polish, one of their fingers always has glitter on them for noah

they have a little pin with their pronouns next to the nb pride flag and the bi pride flag

when they came out to the gangsey they learned that blue and henry were nb as well

ronan identifies as genderqueer and goes by any pronouns expect of she/her cuz he doesn’t vibe with it

adam gets a degree in history and gender studies as well as his other degree (i’m thinking law or medicine) and writes thesis about gender identities and sexualities throughout history

adam lets their hair grow between shoulder and chin length and lets blue braid their hair

ronan refers to adam as the love of his life or joyfriend rather than boyfriend

just adam parrish being happy and in love

[books-letstalkaboutem]

Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

My Rating: ☆☆☆☆

I loved this book so much, which was not surprising.

It was weird to read about characters in this universe that weren't in the Raven Cycle Series, but I enjoyed getting to know more about Declan and Matthew and meeting Jordan and Hennessy.

Having chapters in Delcan's point of view, specifically, actually made me like him while at the same time making feel very sorry for him. And as much as I wasn't sure if I was going to like Jordan or Hennessy, I found that I really liked them by the end of the book and I am excited to see how their relationships with Declan and Ronan grow and how their relationship with each other changes. It was also very fun to learn what makes them so different from each other.

I do wish there was more Pynch. Every time Adam was there or even mentioned, it made me so happy. I understand, of course, why Adam wasn't in the book more. Logically, him not being more involved made perfect sense. But Adam and Ronan are just so sweet together (and they've got a lot of things to work out) that the times they were together just didn't feel long enough. I did love seeing how their relationship was handling Adam's first year at Harvard. It revealed a lot about them both as individuals and as a couple. But this book is not Pynch focused, so that's something to keep in mind if that's what you're wanting out of this book. (I also really hope Gansey, Blue, and Henry make appearances in Mr. Impossible, I miss them.)

To summarize, is this book worth reading?? I think so, yes. And I don't think you need to have read the Raven Cycle Series to read this book, though I really really suggest you do. Everything that happens in the Raven Cycle Series that is important, is explained. But the books do offer a lot of insight to Ronan, who this book follows plus I think this book would mean a lot more to you if you've read the Raven Cycle Series beforehand.

[somniabundant]

For the character thing: Skov :)

Duuuuuuuuude. I’m about to go off

Sexuality headcanon: okay I think that Skov is pan. He just has chill, carefree vibes and I feel like while Proko doesn’t want to label his attraction in a way that he picks something ambiguous, Skov doesn’t want to label his attraction in a way that he’s like ‘everything! Everyone! I am open to possibilities and I do not care what you identify as as long as you are hot!’ And I love that for him.

Gender headcanon: listen. Listen. My guy is ftm trans and I will fight you in an alleyway if you tell me I am wrong. I will stand by this until the day I die I swtg he is trans and it’s beautiful and his boys support him and it’s wonderful and I’m so proud of him (the fact that typing that all out is making me emotional...) Anyway in another timeline I was Skov and therefore this is true, thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Just kidding, I’m not done yet. Skov is a trans dude, but he’s also pretty chill and very secure in his identity. He knows who he is and really found himself after he joined the pack and their support means a lot to him. Because of this, he’s able to experiment with his style and wear eyeliner n shit and sometimes borrows Proko’s skirts and drives his expensive-af car in an electric blue miniskirt with fishnets like the king he is and I love that for him. He’s out here destroying gender norms, just a dude being hot and wearing a skirt and still being a dude and he’s an icon and I love him. I could keep going for a while, but let’s move on...

A ship I have with said character: ngl I stole this from a thread between @prokopenkokavinsky and @non-mortem-somni-fratrem they showed me the possibilities and I got hooked. Gansey/Skov. Idk why the idea of this is so appealing to me, like before I was just here for shipping him with Swan and K but now I’m like dang him and Gansey, that’s the kind of out of the box thinking I wanna see. Can you imagine?? Gansey just has no idea how to deal with him and he’s blushing all the time because his boyfriend is so hot and confident and he /wishes/ that was him, but at the same time Skov brings it out in him and Gansey is more adventurous when they’re together and it’s wonderful :))

A BROTP I have with said character: okay so like. Totally ship Swan/Skov in a non platonic way, but I totally see them having an epic bromance as well?? Like they just know each other so well and they do SPORTS together and they got that jock bonding going on for them and they’re so bro together the rest of the back just rolls their eyes at how dumb they are. But then at the same time they’re totally in love more than bros (romantic or somewhere that transcends labels) and they cuddle every night and are like absolute soulmates and it’s beautiful.

A NOTP I have with said character: hmmm. I actually had a lot of trouble coming up with one because I feel like he works with everyone, but I’m going to have to go with Blue/Skov. I feel like maybe they hooked up once and it was fine like they had fun, but then afterwards they mutually decides to never do that again because it was kinda weird and they’re still chill with each other, but they don’t mess around or anything, just platonic pals.

A random headcanon: there are so many... I legit don’t know where to start... okay okay a couple days ago @prokopenkokavinsky and @townpunk and I were just going off on a thread about him so I’m just going to list some from there and then a couple other random ones. First off, he has electric blue hair, I’ll fight you on that one too. Also, he def has a sugar addiction like blue sour patch and monster and just candy and energy drinks galore, he’s got that gamer aesthetic but he spends most of his time playing soccer instead of video games, though he and Swan do play Xbox together sometimes. Ngl I’m not sure where this one came from but I feel like he smokes weed?? Don’t ask me more about this I’ve said it before but I know nothing about drugs I literally don’t leave the house I’ve never been to an actual party all of the stuff I write is completely imagined so like I have nothing else to say about this, but he smokes weed and he also lets himself go wild in every way at K’s substance parties and the regular ones. Another one from the thread: he has ADHD and has a bunch of stim toys and the boys carry some around with them at all times to make sure he always has something to keep himself occupied with. One that I just randomly decided on is that he plays electric guitar and like he’s not that good at it, but he likes it cuz it’s loud and he just has fun messing around and half-assing songs and stuff. Also, this is just my thought, but his actual name is Jacek, but in America aka at Aglionby he goes by Blake. Okay I feel like I should cut myself off before I just keep talking forever but yeah those are a couple...

General opinion over said character: I mean I think you already get the gist... but yeah, he’s an icon and I love him and I want us to meld and become the same person, I very much look up to him XD

[jellybeanbeing]

My Favorite Tropes

This is going to get increasingly oddly specific so don’t mind me. Also, after writing this whole thing up, I realize that it’s heavily romance based so excuse me if you didn’t want that, and I repeat a lot of the same books because I’m boring.

1. Found Family Trope

We all love this trope so much. It just hits so good when there are characters who have never had that someone to lean on when they’ve needed it, and then they find those people. And the best thing is that, it’s always unexpected. The characters are like “I can never imagine being friends with this person” but then they become best friends, and it’s a good time. There is just something so pure about it and seeing a character just feel like they finally belong. 

Examples are: The Gangsey from The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater & The Six of Crows gang from Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo & the Leverage crew from the show, Leverage

2. Friends to Lovers Trope

I live for this trope. There is something about this trope that puts ease in my body. It’s mostly because the two (or more) characters already know each other, maybe to their deepest core. They are so unaware of the fact until one day, something happens and then they’re like, “fuckkkk.” And I love the progression of it because they get to know each other in such a different and intimate way that hits the soul so well.

An example is: Emma and Julian from The Dark Artifices series by Cassandra Clare

3. Enemies to Friends to “I Would Literally Die For You”

This is such an endearing trope. I love it so much because you get to see the beautiful and hilarious banter within the relationship, and after (usually) a serious conflict arises, it shows that the other person really cares and would literally or figuratively die for the other person who they once hated. And it’s even better when they can’t admit but in those small moments, they show that they really care for each other.

Examples are: every friendship in Leverage (again), and (kinda) August and Kate from the Monsters of Verity duology by Victoria Schwab

4. “Characters Who Have A History Together That Caused Them To Have Bitter Feelings Towards Each Other But Meet Again And They Have To Work With Each Other And Their Feelings Blossom Again” Trope

This is definitely a slow burn kind of thing because it takes time to rekindle that flame, but this is different than slow burn because both parties have a history with each other, and they know each other but they are still like “fuck this bitch.” The thing that makes this trope work though, is if both parties acknowledge what had caused their falling out and talk it through and have grown as people individually because if it’s not, then I DON’T WANT IT.

Examples are: a future Ty and Kit (I’m hoping) from The Dark Artifices series by Cassandra Clare, Taylor and Jonah from Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta, & Nina and Matthias from the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

5. When Two (or more) Mysterious Characters With Dark Secrets Fall In Love And Become Vulnerable To Each Other

This has become a new favorite of mine because I didn’t even know I needed it until I got it. It’s like these two characters have their guard up against each other and the rest of the world, and they know it. They push their boundaries to see how far they will let their guard fall when they are with each other, and IT’S SO GREAT. And when they do become vulnerable to each other, it’s the best thing in the world because they get to share their secrets with that other person and become this badass couple.

Examples are: Jordan and Declan from Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

6. Insta-Love or to be more specific Insta-Attraction

Now wait a fucking second because you probably just said, “What the fuck?” Yeah, but let me explain myself. I’m not talking about the kind of insta-love where “it’s love at first sight! I’m gonna marry this person!” or where you literally force characters to fall in love because THEY JUST HAVE TO. No. I think this trope only works when the audience already knows the nature of the two parties. When we know who each character is, when they meet and suddenly have this attraction towards the other, it makes sense. 

Three great GREAT examples are: (again) Jordan and Declan from Call Down the Hawk, Maura and the Grey Man in The Dream Thieves, both by Maggie Stiefvater, and Marco & Celia from The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

7. “I want you but I can’t have you but I still want you.” Trope

One side of the party is always “business” and “duty first” because that’s just who they are, but then they meet that person who is their undoing and everything turns into chaos. They want the other person but the circumstances that they are in, is stopping them from taking that step forward and it frustrates them. The other party is there wanting to accept their love but the other party just can’t but they want to.

Examples are: Kaz and Inej from the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo, & Helene and Avitas from An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir

8. Slow Burn Romance

My god, this is my favorite trope when it’s done right. The agonizing pain of watching the two parties fall for each other without them knowing but having this tension is GOLDEN. It hurts the heart of readers and make us want to rip our heads off because WE JUST WANT THEM TOGETHER, but no. We have to wait until ‘the moment’. 

Examples are: Gansey and Blue and Adam & Ronan from The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

[toast-the-unknowing]

What scene made you ship Pynch? How did I miss anything about an emo band???

OP was humorously misstating the moment; there are no emo bands, I hope that I am not crushing any dreams.

The scene in question is from Blue Lily, Lily Blue, when Ronan drops in on Adam at the garage. Given that we all love manibus I imagine I am not the only one who found that to be the tipping point into shipping Pynch for real, but who cares if I’m a basic bitch, there’s just so much good stuff here!

Okay obviously this is fun if you like that “they call each other names but they love each other” ship dynamic, BUT I also genuinely love the idea that this is one way in which Adam’s relationship with Ronan is less stressful to him than his other relationships. Yes, they fight, but he doesn’t spend hours stressing about it when Ronan isn’t there.

THAT ANGST THOUGH. It’s not really anything to do with Pynch, I just like this line a lot.

Adam is curled up on the ground having a panic attack and Ronan thinks it’s funny, Ronan, you have badly misread the situation. But points for considering whether Adam was cold, I guess.

It should be clear by now that I do in fact love the “they call each other names but they love each other” ship dynamic.

I find Adam’s attitude toward Ronan’s family problems really healthy? He doesn’t try to solve Ronan’s shit for him. He even gives him a little more space around it than he personally wants, out of respect for boundaries.

For someone who goes hardcore on “words of affirmation” love language in her personal life, I am terribly fond of “I will blatantly seek you out because I miss your company but deny that that is what I am doing” moments. PRETEND YOU DON’T LIKE EACH OTHER, YESSSS.

OKAY. There’s a lot going on here and it’s fascinating. 1, the aspect that Adam keys in on, is that this is another moment where Ronan has everything completely backwards. Ronan feels that Aglionby is pointless for him because his magic doesn’t mesh with that regimented world, because he doesn’t want professional employment, because he can make a future for himself without the benefits it provides, because he isn’t learning anything there that is of use to him. Which, fine, it clearly is a bad fit for him (even if I think he goes a bit too far in the other direction of rejecting everything that isn’t magic). But he goes and assumes that all of those things are true of Adam as well, which is a BUCK WILD assumption to make. Ronan, how long have you known this boy again? Besides which, he claims that Adam could find a way to make a living off of his connection to the ley line, which is either a TON of faith in abilities that Adam has a very limited understanding of at this point in time, or a complete lack of understanding of economic realities. Or both, obviously.

But at the same time, we see over and over again Adam’s self-consciousness about not belonging, and his fear that even if he DOES achieve success (academically, financially, professionally) he still won’t fit in with his peers and everyone will know that he’s not like them. And then here’s Ronan just casually saying, obviously you belong to the same group that I do. The fact that he says this while also getting so much wrong kind of makes me like it more? Even when Ronan is a fucking idiot he knows heart and soul that Adam is his people.

I love that they have ACTUAL ARGUMENTS, so I love this moment where they are actually pissed and hurt by each other. And I love the ways that it shows. Ronan goes “cool” when he’s actually upset. And Adam, who calls Declan and Gansey out for trying to solve Ronan’s problems for him, for not understanding that he has to want to do things for himself, here tells him to do his homework – if you’re going to tell me how to live my life, fine, I’ll tell you how you’re fucking up your life by not having the same values that I do; how do you like that.

OKAY I KNOW WE ALL HAVE THIS ETCHED INTO OUR HEARTS BUT I HAD TO. The timing is just so perfect. Ronan has misread the situation, discounted Adam’s basic motivation, dismissed his effort, and then when Adam must have just totally felt unseen and misunderstood, here is this proof that the whole time Ronan had also seen him and understood him and cared enough to figure out something that would actually help him. This is the moment where I put my phone down and texted my friend Ronan scaring the daylights out of Adam and picking a fight with him and then breaking into his car to leave him a super thoughtful gift is my jam.

Bonus screenshot because reading this scene over I find Maggie committing a terrible horrible sin:

MAGGIE, NO

[ragesingoddess]

Pynch rwrb au

Gansey is the first son of the United States. Adam is his best friend, and also his counselor. He lives with Gansey in the white house (only because he works there; he only accepted after he had graduated and had a reason to stay there)

Before that Adam lived in a small apartment that he was barely able to afford. Gansey of course tried countless times to pursade him to move in with them but Adam was having none of it.

Now Ronan, is the prince of Wales. He hates his brother Declan and after his father (the king) was killed mysteriously his mother became a ghost.

Ronan has had a crush on Adam for 4 years now, ever since he saw him standing next to the fist son. He always thought that the boy looked different, kind of out of place but at the same time he was intrigued by his determined stare.

Adam now claims he hates the arrogant and cocky prince of Wales who keeps his hair buzzed to piss off his brother and got a secret tattoo when he was 16. (in reality tho he always found him pretty, different from the rest of nobles who claimed to care for the people and in reality did nothing to help those suffering.)

They meet at Declan's wedding. Adam is there with Gansey and Gansey's girlfriend, Blue. Ronan is drinking somewhere with Noah, trying to avoid talking with anyone that is not an absolute necessity.

At some point Gansey is off doing his fsotus work or something and Adam is alone and Ronan takes the opportunity to go over and talk to him.

They don't really hit it off. Adam is not willing to let go of his 'I hate the prince' nonsense and he replies to all of Ronan's messy to say the least attemptes to make conversation.

Ronan doesn't know how to communicate™ so he tries to connect with Adam by offending him the best he can. Adam loses his temper, goes to leave, ronan tries to grab his hand, Ronan fails to hold him back and boom. They just kind of destroyed the wedding cake.

It's kind of a mess after that. Gansey is absolutely freaking out because they did just destroy the royal wedding and fuck Adam this is not good for any of us and rumors are starting to rise about the hatred between the kids of the white house and the prince. So of course he makes Adam start a fake friendship with ronan

Ronan is kind of freaking out on his own bassicly. Declan made him accept of course. And well Ronan says yes its not like he cares, or anything. ("Shut the hell up, Noah.")

Long story short Adam comes to visit. Along with Gansey and blue. The do everything they are supposed to, public appearances and all. (Ronan even allows Adam to post a picture on Instagram)

And well Adam is surprised to find out that he doesn't really hate Ronan. And Gansey and blue also get along with Ronan well (Noah is absolutely as heck fangirling "Ronan I can't believe it. You actually made friends.")

They start talking a bit after. Ronan is actually using his phone which earns him a lot of freaked out stares and impossibly loud cries from Noah and Matthew. (Ronan is not only using his phone he is also smiling can you believe)

Slow burn and everything, Ronan is in love Adam is having a gay crisis™ and blue is making bets with Henry about how long will it take for Adam to figure it all out. (hanry can also be a politicians kid what do I know)

It happens on Ronan's birthday. They are all on the palace for the party and then they leave to go celebrate as a friend group and Adam is laughing and even singing karaoke with Ronan who also happens to have a stupid grin on his face. Ronan kisses him when they return to the palace. They stayed outside while the others went to sleep, and Adam looked at him with his burning blue gaze and Ronan was kind of drunk but not drunk enough to not know what he was doing.

Ronan gets inside leaving Adam freaking out alone outside for a solid two hours.

Their flight is scheduled early the best day. Ronan does not show up.

Back on the white house everything is crisis. Adam is freaking out full on rambling on gansey, Henry and blue and trying to make him get his shit together and call Ronan.

Adam does. Ronan does not reply.

When they meet again at a charity event on the white house Adam shoves Ronan into his room and kisses his brains out.

They don't talk about what they are for a while. They make out a lot and they obviously both like each other but they are also idiots. Blue is trying to get Adam's head out of his ass, Noah is trying to get Ronan to just talk with Adam but his feelings while gansey is totally oblivious ("You mean to tell me that all this time they have not been dating?)

Ronan shows Adam the secret forest he used to go as child hidden in the palace's back gardens. Adam tells Ronan about his past. Ronan kisses him.

Chaos ensues, lots of making out in the closets before gansey comes back, lots of blue rolling her eyes every time they bumb their knees together under the table.

Noah makes the group chat of course. And it's a mess. A beautiful mess, really.

Ronan is the one to actually say I love you first.

Adam panics. Not because he doesn't love him back but because his upbringing had lead him to question if he is capable of love in the first place. He freaks out. He doesn't say it back. He also stops responding to ronan's messages.

Ronan is angry. Not because Adam does not love him back but because he doesn't have the guts to speak to him and tell it on his face. He is also so in love with him it hurts and the thought that he possibly just lost him is enough to fuck his mind

Blue tells Adam to get his shit together. Henry agrees. Maybe gansey nods. Adam takes the first place and goes to England.

He tells Ronan about his family some more. The whole truth this time. He cries. Ronan tells him he is an asshole for believing that bullshit his parents tried to make him feel about himself. They kiss (maybe angry kiss a bit what do I know). Adam says I love you back)

From now I'll change it up a bit, because I can

Ronan and Adam don't exchange emails so they don't get exposed. But the rumors start rising because they appear together more and more publicly and in intimate short of ways.

Adam panics. The last thing he wants is to mess up Gansey's mothers campaign. Gansey tells him he doesn't care. If he is really sure about this they will find a way to deal with this in the best possible way. He cares more about Adam than he does about politics. (also Gansey's mom isn't like Alex's. In my headcanon she is not even that dedicated to the cause. Adam cares though. Adam believes they can make a change.)

Ronan does. Not. Care.

Declan is NOT homophobic (Jesus can we stop portraying him as an asshole) he just wants what is best for Ronan, his image and the kingdom. Ronan tells him he is sure. Declan questions his choices (he has his reasons, hive him a break) but he goes along with it.

They don't exactly 'announce' anything. It's not their style. But they don't deny anything either, and when Adam is Ronan's plus one in the single random ass gala he was forced decided to actually go, no one questioned it at all.

Gansey's mother gets elected again. Adam is still Gansey's main counselor. He also just finished his masters and is finally accepting his role and his importance in the white house.

Adam also drives Ronan to Henrietta, to show to him where he was raised. But it's not only the place where the trailer park was. It was also the place where Adam learned to fight for himself, the place where he learned that hard work is the only way to get you where you want to be, the place where he met gansey and blue, the place where he learned to hope. And maybe Adam thinks, as Ronan is kissing his knuckles, some day, he may be coming back.

(i posted this a few months ago as a response to a headcanon but ive been thinking about it lately so im posting it again.)

[saywhatjessie]

TRC Exchange

This is my gift for @richardcampbells who requested so primo Gansey content! 3.7k [Ao3]

Gansey did not remember being this twitchy in high school.

It was difficult to remember ‘high school’ as this thing that had happened to him only a short year ago and not something in his distant past. He’d experienced so many things in the years of high school and also in the gap year since, it was hard to hold the memory of Aglionby as something associated with himself. He had felt quite different then.

Quite less twitchy.

Blue would probably take offense to the word twitchy. He didn’t think it was a slur of any kind, but it still felt like a word she would not-so-gently correct. Fidgety, she might say. Hyper.

Not that he was hyper, he just couldn’t seem to stop picking at the corner of his folder. Or playing with the zipper tag on his schoolbag. He had to admit, he did feel rather high-strung.

To be so far away from her – Blue – when they’d so recently been so close. Closer than close. It was mildly unbearable.

And not only her, but Henry who had been with them on their gap year road trip around the world. Adam, who was following his own academic pursuits but had been a real grounding presence in his Aglionby days. Ronan, who he missed like a limb and who’d worried him while he’d been away and potentially worried him more now that he was close but still extremely far.

Georgetown was not so far. Ronan came to the area every week for mass with his brothers.

It was enough distance for Gansey to feel it in the marrow of his bones.

He tapped his pen distractedly against his laptop, waiting for class to start and contemplating if he should send Ronan another text. Just to make sure he was coping. He couldn’t remember ever tapping his pen at Aglionby.

“Okay, class, welcome to BBH 251, colloquially known as ‘Straight Talks.’”

Gansey sat up straighter, taking a firmer grip on his pen to sublimate the urge to fidget.

“You can all put your laptops away, this isn’t that type of class.”

Gansey startled, blinking for a good few seconds before shutting his laptop and sliding it back into his bag. He wasn’t sure what kind of class didn’t require taking notes. His pulse jumped a bit in his neck, some predecessor to an inappropriate sense of dread.

“This class is about exploring intersectional identity, putting focus on privilege and invisible identities.”

And now the dread made more sense. Gansey was always far too aware of his privilege.

It would be absolutely heinous to have to get up in the front of this room and list out all the ways society valued him more than them. Looking around the room there were women, there were people of color. Students with pride flags on their bags and their hair dyed outrageous colors. There were students who looked like Adam had when he’d first come to Aglionby: hollow cheeked and broken down in a way that could only be reached by withstanding poverty. How was he supposed to come out to this class as a straight, white, wealthy son of a Republican career politician?

“The class is called straight talks because what we learn in this class, we carry over into other classes. We reach out to other classes and introduce ourselves with our full intersectional identities.”

The horrors continued abound. Gansey would have to do this around the entire university.

“I’ll start.”

Their instructor introduced herself as a white, cis woman. She was a lesbian athlete in her mid-fifties. She talked about the difficulties of being a lesbian athlete, how she suffered ageism in the gay community, and the stereotypes that come with it.

Braver souls than Gansey came forward and asked what cis meant. The teacher calmly explained that it simply meant “not trans”. Gansey hadn’t known there was a word for that. He hadn’t thought about the need for one. And that made him feel worse than anything. Because anything that wasn’t “other” was “normal”. What a terribly privileged thing he was.

“And now, to present more examples from your peers, I’ve asked some of my students from last semester to show you what a straight talk might look like. Ryann, do you want to start?”

Ryann didn’t look particularly bothered either way, but started on what was obviously a well rehearsed speech.

He was genderfluid, which meant he changed his pronouns regularly, but he told them all that at this moment he was a he so please refer to him as such. He was of Māori descent. He talked about what it was like to be underrepresented and constantly likened to Taika Waititi just because he was the only Māori person anyone ever heard of, if they’d heard of it at all. He suffered from EDS, which meant he had what was usually referred to as an invisible disability. In other words: people assumed he was abled when they looked at him since he didn’t need a wheelchair. At least not yet.

This wasn’t at all about Gansey, but he still found himself sinking slightly in his seat, the shame he felt by the simple fact that he had none of these additional social obstacles to deal with making him feel absolutely wretched and helpless.

The next speaker helped some. She was white and cis and able-bodied. But she spoke of growing up in poverty in the American south, constantly living in fear because she was bisexual and a woman. She discussed how she’d known more girls who’d experienced sexual violence than she could fit on two hands.

Gansey felt a little like crying. Actually, a lot like crying. But he was a Gansey and he would never show such unmeasured behaviour in company. And this was not about him. He would not make it about him.

The last person was agender. They were mixed race: what races, they weren’t even sure because they were adopted. They grew up in a wealthy family but lived in a community where they didn’t feel deserving of that station. Feeling undeserving was something, at least, Gansey understood.

They were also demisexual.

“So, demisexuality is on the spectrum of asexuality,” the person – Storm – explained, in a practiced-sounding way, but not like Gansey thought they were tired of explaining: they still sounded as if they cared deeply about this label. “Everyone’s heard of the Kinsey scale?” Most everyone nodded, Gansey maybe too enthusiastically. He’d read a lot of history when he’d realized Adam was bisexual. “Asexuality has that same kind of scale, ranging from sex-repulsed asexual to sex-positive gray-asexual. Asexuality is differentiated by the lack of feeling of sexual attraction. sex-repulsed asexuals don’t feel sexual attraction and don’t want sex in any way. People can still be asexual but have sex anyway for stress relief or for their partner: they don’t feel the attraction but don’t mind the act itself. Gray-asexual people can feel sexual attraction but only sometimes. It’s all very relative and, obviously, I don’t speak for everyone blah blah blah. Following?”

There were grumbles of assent from the assembled class and Gansey nodded distractedly.

What Storm (and that was another thing: Ronan would absolutely love the names nonbinary people chose for themselves when Gansey told him) what Storm was talking about with gray-asexuality sounded just like normal people. Not everyone experiences sexual attraction ALL the time. Then wouldn’t everyone want to have sex with everyone else all the time? That sounded extremely distracting, who would have the time?

And not everyone was in the mood all the time either. He was working to be really open-minded, but this didn’t sound real. 

“Demisexuality,” Storm continued, “Is on that spectrum. The important qualifier is that demisexual people can feel sexual attraction but only if they establish an emotional bond with someone first.”

And just like that, something in Gansey’s head snapped.

He shot his hand up.

Their professor waved him off. “We’re not doing questions right now,”

“That’s okay.” Storm said, smiling at him. Something in their eyes glinted in what Gansey thought might be recognition, even though they’d never met. “What’s up?” They asked, nodding at Gansey.

Gansey had no idea what was up. He hadn’t raised his hand with any kind of plan.

“Hello. My name is Gansey,” he introduced himself, because his mother always said that was a good jumping off point. “Demi is from the Latin word dimidius meaning partially or half.”

That probably wasn’t the right direction to start with, judging by the muttering and eye rolling from his classmates. Gansey felt his neck heat up but Storm looked amused.

“Are you calling me half-sexual?”

“No,” Gansey shook his head, trying to come off better. “I guess I just wondered how the leap was made from demi meaning half to demi meaning… what you said.”

“Mr. Gansey–” the teacher started again, looking a little put-out. Gansey guessed he’d probably said something wrong. Something offensive. Something condescending. He was good at that.

But Storm waved her off again. “I don’t know, man, I didn’t invent the word. I just learned it, same as you’re learning it now.” Their eyes flashed again on the words ‘same as you’. “I learned the word and I remembered every teacher I’d had a crush on growing up after they’d established a connection with me. I remembered the weird sex dreams I’d had about literally every one of my friends. I remembered how any time someone talked about having sex with a stranger I thought they were kidding because how could you feel that way about someone you didn’t know?”

Gansey’s hand gripped the seat of his chair, each statement from Storm triggering his own memories. How he’d never had a crush on a girl – a serious, Want To Do Anything About It crush – until Blue. How confused he’d been when Adam said he had more experience with girls, because he hadn’t, really. How Helen’s advances on poor unsuspecting men felt false, because how could she want to sleep with all of them? She’d just met them.

And he remembered the weird sex dreams he’d had about Adam and Ronan, even though he was straight.

At least… he’d thought he was straight?

Storm smiled at him in a soft, almost pitying way. “Any other questions?”

Gansey shook his head. “No, thank you. Please continue.”

It seemed this class may teach him more than he’d counted on.

His first order of business was to call Blue.

Both because he needed to speak with her about this new word he’d just learned and also because he had a scheduled call with her and also because he missed her fiercely.

“Have you heard this word ‘demisexuality’?” Gansey asked by way of hello.

He could almost hear Blue blink in surprise. “No. Where have you heard the word demisexuality?”

“I’m taking this Bio-Behavioral Health class. It’s usually reserved for at the very earliest second semester students but I spoke to my advisor about my apprehension regarding achieving the required credits for gen eds and she suggested combining requirements through some classes that might cover both. This class counts for gym and science.”

“So you’re not taking a gym class?” Blue hummed, mournfully. “No pictures of sunkissed Gansey rowing in the early morning?”

Gansey’s ears heated up and he cleared his throat. “Any photos you’d like I’ll take for you, Jane.”

Blue hummed again, self-satisfied.

Gansey cleared his throat again. “So this class explores identity and marginalization–”

Blue cut him off with a barked laugh. “Oh, man, I would love to watch this class react to you .”

“Yes, Jane, it was not very comfortable for me, aware as I am of my privilege.” He tried not to sound petulant but he was and it did. “But there was a student named Storm who introduced me to this new word. Demisexuality, I mean.”

“Okay,” Blue said. There was rustling on the other side and Gansey pictured her getting comfortable, sitting in the chair next to the table in the phone/sewing/cat room. She had her own cell phone by now – a fight that spanned weeks and several countries of their road trip – but she refused to use it to speak to Gansey himself, only saving it for calling her mother while she was away or to speak to Adam on the phone his own boyfriend had bullied him into accepting. He assumed she’d cave and use it to speak to him when she was away at school herself (her semester didn’t start until October) but for now they were relying on old habits. “So tell me about demisexuality.”

He began to talk through it with her, repeating some of what Storm said and drawing new conclusions and going so far as to pull a webpage on the subject up on his phone as he spoke, switching between reading off of it and putting the phone to his ear to hear her reply. He knew she could have looked this up herself, but he appreciated she was letting him tell her about it. Teaching her was the easiest way for him to learn himself.

She cut to it pretty quick. “Is that what you think you are?”

Gansey blinked, expecting the question, he supposed, but not expecting how it would make him feel.

“I thought I was straight,” he answered. Because it was true. Even if it was becoming less true by the moment. 

There was a rustling that Gansey recognized as a shrug. “Everyone thinks they’re straight until they don’t.”

Gansey blinked again.

“Thank you, Jane.”

Blue hummed. “I’m gonna let you sit with this. Call me back with any updates?”

Gansey hummed back. They hung up.

Gansey appreciated she wanted to let him sit with this – it was a kindness and potentially a necessity. He didn’t know how to do this, he’d never had a sexual identity crisis before.

So he called Ronan.

Who didn’t answer, of course, so he was forced to sit with his sexual identity crisis.

  He sat with it for two hours until Ronan sent him a text. “Dick.”

Gansey called him.

Ronan answered. “Jesus Mary, Gansey, what ?”

“I think I had a crush on you when we first met.”

Ronan choked and immediately hung up.

Gansey swore, growling, before hitting redial.

“Gansey, I swear to Christ,” Ronan pleaded.

“Shut up!” Gansey swore. “Please shut up. I am so stressed out right now, Ronan.”

Ronan, for his part, shut up. It was an angry and embarrassed silence, but considering what Gansey had just confronted him with that was understandable.

“I learned something in one of my classes today and Jane thinks it might apply to me.” Blue had said no such thing, but something told Gansey that Ronan would take information like this more seriously if it came from sensible Blue. “There is apparently a sexual orientation previously unbeknownst to me that describes feelings of attraction only when there’s an established emotional connection.”

Ronan was silent for a few breaths before he said “Okay?”

“So we were very close when he first met and I felt an immediate connection to you and I didn’t know how to process that outside of friendship because I’d never felt it before but now with this new term sort of recontualizing things, I think it may have been a crush.”

Ronan made a sort of squawk in his throat, reacting similarly to the first time Gansey had said the word “crush” but, thankfully, not hanging up the phone.

“Gansey… I don’t know what you want me to do with this.”

Gansey opened his mouth then shut it again. He wasn’t sure what he wanted from Ronan either. He didn’t know how to ask “Do you think I had a crush?” or “Do you think I’m not straight?” or “How do I restructure myself, how do I think of myself, if I’m not straight like I always thought?”

But that was an emotional burden he had no business troubling Ronan with. Gansey’s feelings weren’t Ronan’s responsibility. He had other things going on.

“Nothing,” he answered, quickly, attempting to brush off the entire conversation. “Just a thought to mull over. I thought I’d share. But, you’re right, you have other things to do–”

Ronan sighed so loud and dramatically, he cut off Gansey’s prepared polite change of topic right in its tracks.

“Gansey, it’s okay if you’re not straight. It would be fucking cool, actually. That means none of us are straight. High five for a perfect queer score or whatever the shit.”

Gansey’s mouth twitched.

“And if you had a crush on me that’s cool too.” He cleared his throat, his next statement coming out as a growl to cover embarrassment. “I had a crush on you in the beginning, too. So it’s whatever.”

Gansey grinned. “Oh, you did?”

“We are never bringing this up again,” Ronan told him firmly. “But yeah, man, you’re like the portrait of well tended youth. But you drove a fast and shitty car and smiled like a dork. I was sixteen, what do you want?”

Gansey’s grin softened. “Well, now I feel indecorous. You’ve had time to think about this. I have nothing prepared to tell you why you were crushworthy.”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Ronan said, quickly. “Tell me about the crush you had on Parrish, instead.”

Gansey sat up straight, very much feeling like he’d received a rowing oar to the face. “Did I have a crush on Parrish?”

Ronan snorted, cruel yet fond. “Of fucking course you had a crush on Parrish. Everyone with eyes and a brain has had a crush on Parrish.”

Gansey frowned but remembered again the inappropriate sex dreams. Then he blushed. Then he conceded. “I suppose you make valid points.”

Ronan laughed. “Did you get butterflies the first time he helped you fix the Pig?”

Gansey hummed, getting a little lost in the memory, before jerking back. “Oh. Have I been a little stupid about this?”

Ronan snorted again, the sound 100% joy this time. “Yeah, man. But that’s okay. No one can know everything.”

When Gansey was slated to present his own “straight talk” to the class weeks later, he was prepared. Not ready. Not comfortable. But prepared.

“Hello,” Gansey started, his politician’s-son smile on. “My name is Richard Campbell Gansey III, but I go by Gansey. The legacy in my family, so aptly captured by my name, has never been something I was comfortable with.”

Gansey watched a few faces around the room nod. Expressing that they saw him, they understood what he was saying, and they accepted it.

It gave him the strength to continue. He smiled a bit more easily this time.

“It feels overly boastful to list the ways for which I have privilege in this world – it was something I was never brought up to put a name to for fear of coming off ungracious or pompous. But putting a name to something is the first step to breaking down the social structures that put people like me so far ahead simply by the state in which I was born. So just because it makes me uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t say it. I only ask that as I go down my list, you all don’t hate me too much.”

That got a few laughs. Gansey sighed a bit in relief before steeling himself.

“I’m white. White Anglo Saxon Protestant, which is rather ironic as I’m deathly allergic to wasps.” Another laugh. Gansey took another breath. “I come from a wealthy family: what some call old Virginia money. I’ve never wanted for anything. I am cis, I am male, I am able-bodied – save my poor eyesight and previously mentioned bee and wasp allergy. Access to care for eyes and allergy has never been a problem, though, because of the aforementioned wealth. I’ve been able to go through my life relatively normally because of the wealth and despite what otherwise might be debilitating conditions.”

The bee allergy had killed him, once, but Gansey wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to get into that in this setting.

“I have a girlfriend, so I am straight passing,” Gansey continued, swallowing. “And, until very recently, I thought I was straight.”

He lifted his eyes to the class, hoping some of them were remembering his questions to Storm on the first day. Storm themself wasn’t there but Gansey pictured them in his mind as he continued.

“Learning about demisexuality has opened some things up for me,” he confessed. “I spoke to my girlfriend and to some friends from high school who are queer themselves and who I only recently realized I had had crushes on. They all think it’s extremely funny, telling me I was terrible at hiding it. And they’re all very excited to realize this gives us a perfect record of queerness in the friend group.”

More laughs. Students’ faces were very open and friendly. Some were still a bit disdainful – there would be some fights he couldn’t win, some people he would never be able to win over because they had suffered too much by people just like him – but there were people in this class who didn’t visibly hate him. Gansey grinned fully.

“I expect this discovery of identity will continue: probably until I die.” (Again) “And it was challenging to have to restructure my self-perception, but a bit thrilling, too. I thank you all for sharing so much of yourselves with me. I hope I can go forward in this life and take advantage of my outrageous privilege to do right by you.”

He glanced over at the professor, who looked rather stoic, but nodded once, eyes shining in something that looked a little like surprise and a little more like pride.

Gansey looked back to the class and nodded. “Thank you.”

He hoped he could answer questions – from the class and from himself – whenever they came.

[100storiesin2020]

A Chainsaw in Fox Tower: Extras, p1

Y’all can thank @kevindayprotectionsquad for the incredibly specific headcannon that led to this short.

*****

“This is the last stop before Nashville,” Wymack called down the bus. “Everyone grab some breakfast.”

Blue groaned a bit as she stood up. The team was on the way to Nashville to go on a morning show and gain some good press for the team. Officially only Kevin and Dan were going to be interviewed, but the rest of the team had come along in support. It was a six hour bus ride and they needed to arrive at 4 am, so nobody had really slept.

Gansey had fallen asleep against the window only a few minutes prior, and she didn’t have the heart to wake him up. In the row just ahead Adam was the same. He could always fall asleep anywhere, these days. 

Ronan stood up behind her and followed her off the bus. There was no way he would be able to sleep in this kind of situation, not surrounded by people and away from the leyline. They exited the bus. Wymack had stopped at a Walmart with a gas pump, so she and Ronan headed in with the rest of the team to go get a bite to eat.

While most of the team hit up the McDonalds just inside the door, Blue and Ronan continued in to the actual store. They stopped in the bakery to get a few donuts for Ronan, the cereal aisle to for poptarts (a Gansey favorite), and in the fruit section to get some bananas for Adam. With the others tended to, Blue headed back into the dairy section. She grabbed a few of Adam’s favorite cheese sticks and eyed the yogurts.

Ronan found her again, having ordered coffee for the four of them at McDonalds. “Just get some, maggot.”

“Shut up, asshole.” She grabbed two of the most expensive containers of yogurt just to spite him. She knew without asking that he was going to pay. And somehow, she didn’t resent it like she did when Gansey did it. She knew he wasn’t trying to solve her problems for her. He wasn’t trying to win her over. It was more like he’d adopted her as a sister, and she was okay with that.

Ronan laughed at her choice. “Are you really going to eat two whole one-pound containers of yogurt by yourself?”

“Watch me.” She stalked to the register with their breakfast, Ronan close behind.

***

Back on the bus, she had elected to claim an empty row to let Gansey rest a little bit longer. She sipped on her coffee to wake up some more as they continued on the road. 

“Alright,” Wymack said. “Somebody wake up Kevin.” Nobody moved. “Andrew?” Andrew only glared back. “Aaron?”

“He’s your kid, you wake him up.” Aaron was too tired for this nonsense, apparently. Wymack sighed and walked to Kevin’s seat.

Blue watched, enjoying the spectacle. Kevin was impossible to wake up and apparently needed to be kept moving to keep himself awake. Once he was no longer falling into random rows trying to fall asleep, Blue decided she was ready for breakfast. She reached into her bag and pulled out one of the yogurt containers just as Kevin walked by.

He stopped and looked at her. “Is that greek yogurt?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I love greek yogurt.”

She offered him a plastic spoon. Ronan had thoughtfully grabbed her a few while ordering the coffee at McDonalds. “I’ll share. It’s blueberry.”

Kevin took the spoon and the seat next to her. She handed him the open container of yogurt and pulled out her backup container for herself. As they dug in, Blue noticed that they were getting strange looks from most of the upperclassmen ahead of them. She was as surprised as the rest of them, if she was going to be honest, because Kevin still resented that Neil brought her to the late-night practices, and he had never once said a nice word to her. And yet, here they were, sitting side by side, horrifying their team with the ungodly amount of yogurt that they could each consume.

They reached the end of their respective containers at the same time, and Kevin hopefully turned to her. “Did you get any more?”

In the seat just ahead of them, Ronan cursed. “There’s two of them!”

[gettothedancing]

Every time you reblog something for The Raven Cycle I want to ask your opinion of it. I tend to be a bit leery of popular fiction these days for fear they'll prioritize woke points over story but seeing you post about it makes me wonder if I've been overlooking it unnecessarily. I don't need an essay (and obviously you are free to ignore this ask entirely), I was just curious because I tend to trust your opinion of media.

Aw, thank you anon, I appreciate the trust. I’m halfway done with the second book, so I can’t say I know for certain how woke it gets later on. I’ve found it to be a normal, bearable level. I have definitely felt concerned about reading modern books for the same reason! If you don’t want any info about characters (no spoilers), just skip the next paragraph.

The main character Blue and Gansey, the leader of her friend group, tend to snipe at each other a little on politicized topics. Gansey is a wealthy white boy, and she is a lower-class girl of ambiguous ethnicity, so he tends to accidentally piss her off with the things he says. But it’s never on purpose, or done to make him a bad guy; it’s treated as a blind spot from his upbringing. There’s a fair bit of tension related to class, since the story is set in a small Virginia town that houses an academy for wealthy boys, and one of the boys in the group is a scholarship student. That boy clashes with Gansey significantly more, but it’s more because of that boy’s pride and refusal to be seen as a charity case.

tldr I think the author’s choice to characterize Gansey as a fundamentally good person, whose leadership and goals cause the other characters to coalesce around him, keeps it from ever getting too black-and-white or political.

The books don’t really seem interested in getting political. They’re much more interested in worldbuilding, the themes of magic and fate, and in fleshing out their characters with fascinatingly worded descriptions. Even if you try this series and find it’s not for you, I’d encourage you to seek out other works by Stiefvater. I love her style! I love that sort of dense, off-kilter, tactile descriptiveness in a writer.