#and as someone who does not feel any intense anything about T
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lover-of-mine ¡ 7 months ago
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What makes me ???? the most is that how part of the fandom went from "Buck needs to be single for a while" (last season and during the hiatus) to "yay he's going to be canon bi! but he needs to explore lots of things, let him flirt and enjoy himself" to now having some of them asking for his relationship with T be long term ??? like, where did the need for him to be single go to??
(and i also saw people wanting them to be endgame and accusing others to not want them together because of buddie, but i really need to know what's the difference between people wanting his first relationship with a man to be endgame and people who wanted buddie to be together first and endgame 🤷‍♀️)
Anon, I could kiss you (if you want of course). Buck doesn't need a relationship. He didn't need one with Natalia and he still hasn't shown any growth that shows he is ready for a relationship now. I will give him points for actually trying to talk to Tommy after he left but Buck hasn't shown any real growth. Buck needs to learn to be okay with himself and he hasn't. A man is not gonna fix him. And I have been saying that neither Buck or Eddie are ready for each other, Buck is still not ready for a long term relationship now. And it is the exact same people that were screaming crying throwing up about Natalia and how Buck shouldn't date her and how he didn't need a relationship that are saying Buck and Tommy need to be endgame (misogyny and racism much). Tommy is very much still the hamster wheel. Granted a hamster wheel that might get Buck to do some soul searching and actually get him somewhere but he is still in his usual patterns. And honestly, I don't see the difference from wanting Buck and Eddie to be each other's firsts to wanting bucktommy to be endgame. It is all locking their queer journeys into one person. I'm not on the buddie ship only because I wanted to see Oliver Stark make out with a guy. The last thing I'm thinking about is their gender. They have a compelling relationship that could be beautiful if evolved to more and the fact that it would be a queer relationship makes it even better because we don't get that type of rep but I don't want a queer relationship for the sake of watching a queer relationship. Buck being bi is about Buck. It's another piece of the puzzle he's been trying to complete his whole life. But jumping into the deep end is not gonna give him what he needs. With anyone. I've been saying for a year that Buck doesn't need a relationship he needs a therapist and that's still true.
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lilacstro ¡ 3 months ago
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my personal opinions on your big 3: your sun, moon, rising
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paid readings open xoxo
support me on ko-fi :)
I was remembering the time when I was 10 years old and used to read those astrology posts that said things like "zodiacs in school", "what does your sun sign do when bored" and I wanted to make a less complicated, fun post just like that but wanted it to still be in accordance to people I have seen so far, so expect this post to be more fun and very not serious and rather light hearted, so here we goooo so since it is like so, please scroll past if you do not resonate :) I would be posting more serious stuff kind of what i learnt from my diploma the following week if possible, luv you<3
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Aries
Sun: You guys are so full of passion omg. Sun is really powerful here and you guys actually shine, so passionate and full of energy. Every Aries Sun I have seen befriends anyone within 5 cm radius to them and has a very extroverted energy. If you are close to them, they will make sure to fight for you and protect you for sure.
Moon: Chaotic emotions and restless, but this restlessness always leads to some kind of creation. The types who work out to release pent up energy. It is possible you guys keep on discarding and making new habits and do not stick to one. Very destructive if provoked, especially emotionally
Rising: Beautiful people. You guys are likely to have a intense energy and aura around. Unlike Aries Sun, many Aries risings could be reserved at times. I think you are the people everyone is afraid of to participate along with in any competition because you scream this energy of "competitive, I am gonna win you see" without even trying!
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Taurus
Sun: LORD YALL ARE SO CHILL, but probably sometimes way to chill and turn ice, I mean not ice cold(yes if you are annoyed by someone lmao) but sometimes may become too boring in the sense that you may not want to do crazy things, you like stable, calm energy. The types to watch a movie, or do some art when they are bored. ALSO VERY STUBBORN but also not mad easily but if mad really really angry. ALSO yall are so beautiful and elegant without even trying
Moon: This archetype is the mother in zodiacs. But you guys indeed if once emotionally connected to someone, would make sure they are well fed and had 8 hours of sleep and make sure they are feeling ok while having 10 mental breakdowns. Also, you guys can hold more grudges than Taurus Suns and Mars, and can sometimes or maybe most of the times be unwilling to change opinions.
Rising: Gorgeous Gorgeous people, who are a little shy at first and once comfortable, everything else, whatever that is, comes out. You guys are actually really good at cooking and also, even though Taurus is the sign of wealth and stability, I have seen many Taurus risings be good with money until its the time to spend on something they like, they spend crazy lmao. Very comfortable energy around you, make other people comfortable once they are.
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Gemini
Sun: Do you want to know Gossips? Ask your Gemini Suns, I bet they know a new one from 10 minutes ago. They are updated fast on drama than most google sites. Also, they have pure crackhead energy no doubt, but they can carry a conversation so well and talk about anything you want, even though might have no idea about it
Moon: Crackhead energy once again. If you want a good time and do not take things seriously or do not get offended easily, go to your Gemini Moon friends, they indeed say the most out of pocked things at times, but they are very funny. But if you are serious and want to have serious conversation, it is 9/10 chances that you would not be taken much seriously, since anything that is boring distracts gemini moons to zone out, so they probably heard you half and would comment on that half info without asking you to repeat because they do not want to listen again lmaooo But for the 1/10 times they listen seriously, they offer really good and short and simple advice.
Rising: These people are like chameleon to me, I mean they adapt so well to wherever they are and who they with. They also are very hard to recognize since they come in all different beauty and styles and aesthetics. Very good conversationalists once again and always seem to be talking about something or to someone, never really idle. Good at texting and probably post many selfies on social media.
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Cancer
Sun: GOD you all are so innocent and cute until someone really gets to see past that lmao, or I may rather say, you let someone see. For some reason you guys always have your guards up, but you are good at fooling people by making them think they probably have seen all your cards, especially in terms of what you are really capable of. Most cancer suns I have seen, regardless of whatever kind of relationship they may have with their moms, they seek their validation somehow.
Moon: Very intuitive and sensitive to emotions, especially of other peoples. Really good at understanding others and healing them, they are really soft people honestly. They are again very unlikely to show you your feelings and emotions, but somehow would see yours. Very nurturing and caring, especially emotionally. Your comfort friends who treat you with ice cream and listen to your sob story.
Risings: Wonderful people, very kind and loving and caring. I have often seen Cancer risings are very keen on making people around them feel seen and heard and cared for, they carry so much charm in them. Very down to earth, and they are always willing to listen. Very emotional people like all Cancer placements and very empathetic, would try their best to make you feel warm and they do it so well that people can let their guards down and connect to them, probably even spill their secrets.
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Leo
Sun: SHOW STOPPERS. So charismatic, and even if they are not loud like most leos, there is a 9.9/10 chance that you have atleast seen them once or heard about them once it is impossible that you are not aware about their existence. They usually like attention and validation from other people, but if no one would do that, they do it themselves and then other people reflect that energy back and yeah...the cycle never ends. I do know that people say Leo Suns are selfish and egoistic, while that maybe true on some level, they are really good at making people feel confident and worthy and also very generous.
Moon: 9/10 Leo moons I have seen have some kind of egoic validation and connection related to their mother. They are likely to be people who are "mumma's girls/boys" because until and unless they feel their moms validation, they would not proceed. Cancer Moons are like so too, but somewhat less than Leo Moons. Also, very possible that you are the oldest, or you act like the oldest. Very charming people though. If they are introverted, their energy is loud and charismatic without even trying, and if they are outgoing, then it is visible and double charismatic of how they are able to validate their emotions and act on them, be verbal about it. BUT BUT sometimes or I may say, most, you guys are really dramatic when hurt and high on emotions. You cannot stand being ignored I knowwww.
Rising: Um how do I say it. Leo suns are bright bright sun, Leo moons are golden enveloped kind of shiny, while Leo risings have a halo on their head and back. I mean it is an energy that you look at and feel drawn to, you do not force yourself like wanting to see the Sun in the eyes but you just see them somehow, they have a warmth around them. Usually very outgoing, great sense of style, and befriend people easily. Although all Leo placements are comfortable to put a fight, Leo risings would especially are not afraid either, especially if they feel the challenge at themselves or hurt at the ego. They are usually very kind and I have seen trust people easily irdk why. They often try to direct their light on other people and try to shine them along. Though, I sometimes see such people dimming their own light to get along with others. Generous people at hearts.
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Virgo
Sun: You guys are the ones who are so serious about the next exam 2 months in advance, probably even before the exams are announced. Very critical of themselves, usually very introspective and rather quiet and even if you are outgoing, it is ambiverted, you are not in someone's face lmao. Very organized and may tie their worth to studies and grades, and their friends too, often. YOU GUYS DO NOT LIKE INTERUPTIONS IN PLANS LMAO
Moon: Logic with emotions, you do not let things hurt you until you have processed the feelings mentally. Your feelings do not go to the heart directly, it first goes to the mind and then you decide if you can make sense out of it, which most of the times you cannot, so you hurt your head with brainstorming as an extra with your heart. It feels like you guys have compartments in your head, and you put those memories and feelings in each so you can pull them up asap when needed to retrieve. Usually good at following routines and structures and like predictability in some form. If they are not in a clean or organized they do not feel good, whatever that means to them, whether that means trash in their room or floors so clean you see your face
Rising: Beautiful people yet again. Look very youthful and young. Really work oriented, and would really really want that they be seen and recognized at work/school for their efforts or can feel upset otherwise. They say and do things in exact manner, no less no more and usually avoid fuss and drama. Like showing up in a rather neat and clean, minimalistic manner than being more big and bold, all with their appearance and emotions and words. Just like Virgo Moons, these people like clean places especially and cannot handle unhygienic people and places at all. The types to be careful with spellings at school and work and while texting and maybe avoid emojis or use wrong ones.
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Libra
Sun: I think the more you guys like justice and harmony, most Libra Suns I have seen have rather disbalanced scales are WILD, but the justice is indeed super important when it comes down to them ahem ahem. I also see you guys put great efforts in wanting to be liked by people often, and sometimes if not all, would try to make efforts to do that. Usually very charming and friendly and would even make a beautiful smile on their face for their worst enemy in social settings rather than letting people know they hate them. They can hate many people honestly, but with you, you are the best one and the most special person ever, behind your back, idk depends vastly honestly, so if you ever confided in a Libra Sun because of their nice nature in the 1st meeting, good luck babe!
Moons: I think Libra Moons are very nice again and do all the nice talking to make you comfortable but they are actually most justice oriented and fair than Libra Suns. Their mood can actually depend on how good they look honestly. Also very kind and nice and usually would say the things someone would blow up on your face for in the nicest manner idk how do they have so much patience. Also they have a silent charisma to them often I have seen. They again are nice to everyone and never really blow up even when the scales are highly unbalanced or I may say, unless the scales are trashed :D
Risings: AH SUPER CHARISMATIC. Very lovely people. And super attractive I must say, and I would say effortlessly idk how. If I could describe libra risings by one color I would say pastel pink idk every thing about them screams aesthetic and pretty, their aura is usually very fun and uplifting and it is unlikely they take any kind romance they have ignited in people by their words and charisma to be taken seriously. Popular people, liked by everyone kind of placement. I mean they can be worst people too but atleast from far and in the first glance, it is highly unlikely you would be able to guess.
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Scorpio
Sun: I would say they are either of extremes, either you have never seen or heard from them are they are one of the mysteries of the world and super quiet or they are LOUDDDDDDD there is no in between and regardless, these people have some kind of charm and I would say MAGNET in them. They can be the most toxic people (they are not, tho there are exceptions) but you would still feel attracted to them idk why would be that so, but it would be like that most of the times. Also sometimes I have seen these people often cannot stay in friend groups for too long even if they tried to, some kind of drama would always happen if there is a friend with Scorpio Sun in the group because these people are actually super sensitive, though I never say its a bad things. I have seen whenever I simply hear or even sit near a frustrated or jealous or angry Scorpio Sun I feel a certain kind of vibe to them. It feels like heaty and heavy I cannot explain. But yeah strong emotional reactions, even if quiet or even if someone else is narrating it, I can know it was a Scorpio Sun idk how. Very territorial and possessive and if they know someone did their friend wrong they better fear lives but it only happens when they feel close to you or vice versa and that happens super rare....But once they decide they really want to keep you, it is a long friendship.
Moons: Tough, Strong people. They are brave and fight the worst adversities that are thrown on them. Their emotions change them in the sense that before going through anything they would sense a storm is about to come, and their emotions would adapt to the change before their mind and body. Really good at reading people and the room and understanding your deepest, most unexplainable feelings as if they have experienced every kind of emotion possible. Usually psychic, intuitive and empathetic. Could often dream about the past and can have troubles breaking mental patterns especially if they are harmful in some way.
Risings: They remind me of the black and white filter honestly idk why. I think I can say most scorpio risings are not as loud or outgoing, they can be fun and wild but they usually have an intimidating aura, I would say more intimidating that Sun and Moons. Often seen them have shadows on their face, and also, sleepy eyes like they do not seem intoxicated exactly but their eyes are not wide awake normal like most people. You can never know them honestly, just like any scorpio placement and they can merge into the background if they wanna hide and you would not know. They are the friends who respond to your texts 2 months later or are out of reach every 2 months. Never consistent on social media or never post is one more thing.
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Sagittarius
Sun: AH VERY BLUNT LMAO. Most Sag Suns I have met are very blunt especially if they are comfortable with you or your friend. Always have a world of their own, maybe they have occupied their mind in some movie or drama or maybe they are busy creating some art or lost in their day dreams they are not really present in the current world and I guess that is why they have energy, especially physical energy I must say. Every Sag Sun I have seen has liked dancing at one point and always has some kind of engagement outside their own culture, be it supporting a sports team different from their own country or being invested in some other culture's movies and entertainment.
Moon: Sag Moons I know sometimes seem to have problems in understanding other people's emotions because theirs are so big and expanded that they cannot really see it for other people. I have seen Sag Moons are often the kinds of people to develop an affinity for some kind of place or person they have never met very easily. They are actually very dramatic just like Leo Moons honestly but different in the sense that it takes longer for them to see things clearly I feel. Usually very optimistic and motivating and very hopeful for the future. The most bold and big actions they take are when they are impulsive because of high emotions I have seen.
Risings: AH I do not know why but Sag risings are very beautiful, yes, beautiful. Literally. Such a beauty to them, even if they may not be conventionally or beauty standard pretty, they feel beautiful. These kinds of people who you sit with for 10 minutes and they say the most life changing things in a single line without even them realizing, maybe while doing random things and they do not even realize it. Always wanting to travel or connect with other cultures, more proactively than other people I feel.
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Capricorn
Sun: I do not know but every Capricorn sun I have seen has a vibe of "do not touch me you peasant" or "no thanks, do not wanna hear your good morning I have a business meeting" and this is when you would be seeing them at lunch in the cafeteria, probably even in high school irdk. A serious persona and appeal idk they also seem mysterious for some reason and feel like they are unwilling to talk, its a hard and confusing energy. Also you can be their friend for years and you do not really know if they are your friend. I think the best way to know if a Capricorn Sun is your friend is when you see them respond to your texts in time, give you their time and energy. And if a Capricorn sun is spending money on you, I feel you are really serious for them lmao
Moon: STOICS. You can never read them. They will never tell you about their emotions even after they die, especially if they have specially decided not to. They hold their emotions back, and often wait for some kind of time or opportunity, which does not make it better but probably worse since the jist of the emotions and when was the right time to say was probably gone. If you are a Capricorn Moon, please tell your crush you like them before they have 10 grandkids. ALSO, you guys are good in this sense that you do not disassociate at worst emotional pressures and dramas and never act out on your emotions no matter how DRAMATIC AND INTENSE the situation is so you never really make a fool of yourself actually.
Risings: AH Capricorn risings, they are actually elites, or they feel like that. They have that serious and "do not waste my time if you have nothing important to say" kind of look. Very savage and people fear you for some reason and your intensity and seriousness is not something you try to do, its just silently felt lmao. The kind of friend in the friend group where after cracking a joke people see if you laughed, and if you did not, they feel they messed up and even if you did, they ask you if you were not offended lmao. Good people to go to for taking serious advices/conversations they have capacity for that.
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Aquarius
Sun: Honestly I cannot even lie anymore, I have never seen an Aquarius who does not has completely, completely different and sometimes, even concerning views on the most common things and they are actually proud of it and its crazy. You wanna compete with your Aquarius Sun friend in what most weird things have happened to you, you cant actually LMAO. Also, most Aqua Suns can have really good emotional intelligence in understanding other people, but themselves. Always aware on what is happening in the world, and also, good with internet and computers. Kind and Generous at hearts<3 Also idk why do most of them speak with a lot of pauses in between.
Moon: I have seen 9/10 times people with Aquarius Moons have some very weird relationship with their mother. Either she is absent but not absent really, and she loves you but does not love you idk. I also feel as a child you could have been the weired one, the one people tried to tame but in the end YOU are the one who ends up doing something completely different from their family and usually succeed (especially if you do it consistently and do not get a superior complex in between) I have often seen regardless of how good and bad it is, these natives are always distant from their family emotionally, and more connected to their grandparents than their own parents. Usually people you can share anything with! and they take their friends very seriously I have seen.
Rising: Aquarius risings I have seen are mostly active on social media, and are very likely not posting themselves but rather posts on geopolitics, or maybe poetry or maybe something that people would find relatable. They also seem to be people who make you comfortable being weird around them without even trying. It is like you can say something really quirky or weird around them that people would probably make faces at you for, but they would respond genuinely without judgement lmao. Very friendly and welcoming to all kinds of people and as a result have a very colorful friend group.
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Pisces
Sun: Very sweet people and usually very introverted but they are always occupied and they are always doing something, especially artistic or musical. Most Pisces Suns I know are actually really good at artistic stuff. The types to doodle at the back of their notebook, or zone out in classes. They are usually very kind but actually very sensitive. Also even if you probably bother them, they would not say much but if you bother someone they feel protective about then that is another thing. Very emotional. Random but I have often seen these people confuse romantic and platonic love they feel, so I do not know if I would say they are emotionally intelligent in that way.
Moon: Pisces Moons I know really really connect to music, or do music in some shape or forms. Really artistic. Also, I would not like to be awful and generalizing, but out of Sun and Rising, Pisces Moons are in their feels really easily. They attach themselves to things and people super easily as well. Apart from Sag Moons, Pisces Moons are also able to attach themselves to people and places they never seen and even dream about them. But they actually have really intense connections to their imaginations are fully emotionally invested in their hopes and dreams, even the ones they see in sleep. Really good at manifesting. idk but Pisces Moons are also good at lying and also making up real emotions when they need to, its like their super power.
Risings: I personally have never known a Pisces rising. But I would talk from what I have seen so yeah. First of all regardless of gender, people with Pisces rising have some kind of feminine look to them, like how do I explain, like pretty white stars shining on them. I feel most Pisces risings, at some point in their life, have been really gullible. I also feel Pisces rising really do have two completely different. opposite sides to them, now if is apparent to them or people is one other thing. Good at artsy stuff and have really good skin. Really beautiful, probably a little downturned eyes, it looks like their eyes have stars and dreams and hopes in them, and this is something I have seen be constant. Idk for some reason it feels they somehow always carry their past with them and probably never really show their vulnerable side
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typing this broke my hands lol
i love you all
leave suggestions in the asks
xoxo
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mint-yooxgi ¡ 12 days ago
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Kinktober Day 30 - Yandere!Fallen Angel!Seonghwa + Somnophilia & Body Worship
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Anonymous Said: Seonghwa from ateez. Consensual Somnophilia & Body worship. Yandere & fallen angel or guardian angel. A/n: I am SO sorry that this is late, life has just been a bit hectic lately. Again, it's Hwa, so I couldn't help myself. It's not as long as I was originally going to make it, but I like where it ends honestly. He's intense in the best ways imo, and I do really love how this turned out. I also have a yandere angel ateez series planned at some point where Hwa is an archangel, so I'm also really excited about that. It's heavily inspired by his Will To Power solo stage, so I hope you all can look forward to that at some point! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy! Warnings/Genre/Rating: 18+ MDNI - Smut, Mature, Established Relationship, Possession, Monster Features, Yandere, Blood mentioned in brief (not in a kinky way), Lots of religious metaphors, Overstimulation, Oral (fem. rec), Fingering (fem. rec), Squirting, Minor Dacryphilia (if you squint), There's a lot :) Word Count: 4,821 Kinktober 2024 Mini Masterlist
Park Seonghwa is a man of many emotions.
Well… technically he’s not a man, but there is no one in this universe that makes him feel more human than you. 
There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. You are his one saving grace in this hellish landscape called earth, and he will do anything to protect that fact. No one is off limits. Nothing is too much. For when it comes to you, you deserve nothing but the best this world has to offer. 
His best. 
Seonghwa will always make sure of that.
The water feels cool against his skin despite the steam rising through the air. One of his hands is braced against the stone tiles of the shower wall, letting the flow of water cascade down his back and pool around the drain. Red streaks against his skin, little rivulets creating vein-like patterns across his figure as he washes away the horrific events of the evening.
You can never know. You will never know. 
Seonghwa has spent his whole life guarding those most precious to him. Now, you’re the only thing left that matters.
You. Who still sleeps soundly beneath the thick covers of his duvet as he steps out of the bathroom a short while later. Your features rest in a soft expression of pure bliss, chest rising and falling steadily. The light of the moon only serves to make your skin glow, illuminating every inch of you that he has always loved more than anything else in this godforsaken world.
A pleased smile tugs at his lips, eyes shining with nothing but adoration as he observes you through the dark. Lightly, he fluffs his damp hair with the towel held in his hand, the one wrapped around his waist hanging dangerously low. Small droplets of water cascade down his chest which he is quick to wipe away.
After all, you’re expecting him to join you, and he hates to keep you waiting.
With his lips curling upwards into that all too familiar loving smile, he takes a step towards the bed. Large, fluffy wings emerge from his back, deep red in colour. As he fluffs the feathers lightly, he lets the towel fall from his waist. The other is quick to join the growing heap on the floor, knowing you’ll more than likely scold him in the morning for tossing the damp material in the middle of the room.
Sometimes, Seonghwa swears he does these types of things on purpose just to hear you scold him. The way you shake your head in exasperation, muttering about whatever it is he’s done this time makes him all giddy inside. It means you’re paying attention to him. It means you care.
Or maybe he just enjoys making things up to you in any and every way he can.
A massage here. Breakfast in bed there. Perhaps even you allowing him to get lost in that glorious heat that rests between your legs, making you shake in uncontrollable bliss.
After all, it is one of his absolute favourite pastimes.
Seonghwa thought he knew what it meant to worship something, or someone, wholeheartedly. That is, until he met you.
All of the time in the world is still too short of an eternity to be spent with you by his side.
The stars pale in comparison to you, for you hold entire galaxies in your eyes. Your smile warms his very soul each and every time he sees that glorious expression stretch across your face. All music sounds dull whenever the melodic symphony of your laughter filters through the air. Not to mention how strong and intelligent you are. 
Kind, witty, caring… The list of your perfections continues to grow everyday, and everyday he knows you is a blessing beyond his wildest dreams. Seonghwa could spend hours lost within the confines of your mind, learning everything there is to know about you, and so much more. Each new discovery is a revelation of the highest regard, and he strives to satisfy in every way.
Every word you speak is gospel, and he is your most devout follower.
Lifting the covers gently, Seonghwa slides into bed beside you. He’s extra careful to not disturb you, not wanting to accidentally wake you at this time. Still, he cannot help but shift closer, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. The way you subconsciously turn into him, snuggling deeper into his embrace only serves to make him smile.
Even in your dreams, you always know how to find your way home. To him.
Subtly, his arms tighten around you, placing a tender kiss to the top of your head. His wings wrap around you, encasing you in a soft red cocoon and ensuring your safety. Your comfort and wellbeing are his number one priorities, and once he knows you’re settled in his embrace, he fully allows himself to relax. 
Soon, his own eyes are fluttering shut, drifting off to meet you inside of your dreams.
A few hours later, Seonghwa is blinking awake. His head now rests on top of your chest, your arms cradling him to you in your sleep. 
Despite such a short bout of rest, he feels refreshed, having slept deeper with you safely wrapped in his arms. Gladly, he melts into your embrace, breathing in your scent and letting everything you completely surround him.
The moon still rests high in the sky, a gentle breeze drifting through the slight crack in the open window. The room is quiet, nothing but the soft sounds of your mingling breaths filling the space.
Seonghwa holds you tighter. Turning his head, his lips press tenderly against your chest, just above your heart. His hair tickles your skin, and you shiver lightly from his touch.
Peeking his dark gaze upwards, Seonghwa studies your features. Your brow seems to be furrowed slightly in discomfort, and a moment later, you squirm lightly beneath him. Your nails suddenly dig into the skin of his shoulders, a soft, muffled whimper escaping your lips.
Worry tugs at his features as he reaches a hand up to soothe your brow. He’s quick to cup your cheek, thumb brushing gently over your skin as he lifts himself slightly above you. Intently, he studies your face, searching for any signs of what may be the problem.
That’s when it hits him. You must be having a nightmare.
Just as he shifts his hand to your shoulder in attempts to wake you up, you let out a sound that has him freezing above you.
His name. You moan his name.
A smug grin tugs at the corner of his lips as he realizes what’s really going on here. Pride swells in his chest at the fact that he could make you dream of him like this, knowing how often he dreams of you. What serves to make this moment ever better is when you let out another small whimper, tightening your hands on his shoulders as your hips jerk upwards against his own.
“Pretty Girl,” His low voice purrs out. “What could you possibly be dreaming of, hmm?”
Cocking his head to the side, he stares down at you. His chest is pressed flush against your own, forearms supporting him on either side of you as he settles more comfortably between your legs.
Leaning into you, he begins to place soft kisses against your cheek. Slowly, he trails his lips down your jawline, tracing over your pulse, then back up again. All the while, that same smirk tugs at his features.
His nose nudges tenderly against your jaw.
“Why live in a fantasy when I can make all of your dreams a reality?”
More kisses are placed upon the skin of your neck as he slowly begins to make his way down your body. His touch is feather light, wings twitching excitedly in the air behind him as he tugs your shirt down gently. The straps of your tank top easily slide down your arms, and with a quick movement, he’s snapping them as if they were nothing but brittle string.
The sound of tearing fabric echoes around the room as he shreds through your shirt, pausing lightly to check on you. He forgot how loud that could be, his mind having been focussed on exposing you to the most pleasure that he can give you. Of course, that meant exposing you, but he doesn’t want to wake you from your blissful slumber quite yet.
Not even his chest rises or falls with breath as he hovers above you, watching you closely for any signs of movement. After a little while passes with your eyes still shut, steady breathing and soft whimpers still falling from you, he breathes a sigh of relief.
Slowly, carefully, he discards your shirt, hands beginning to trace over your sides. His touch is gentle, eyes taking in every bare inch of skin presented to him. Nothing but admiration shines in his gaze, a dark, primal sort of lust hiding within. He’s hoping beyond anything to have you smoothly transition from your dream into reality. For when you do, he’ll be ready and waiting with open arms.
There is nothing more rewarding to him than your pleasure. The fact that he alone is the only one able to bring you to such ecstasy makes his heart swell with so much love and pride within his chest. Only he can touch you like this. Only he lives to serve you, to make you see the far reaches of the heavens each time your eyes flutter shut in bliss. Your pleasure is his pleasure, and he could spend eternity worshipping you, all while making you scream his name.
Ever so gently, he presses his face against your chest, right in the valley of your breasts. His hands come up to cup such tender flesh, inhaling deeply as he nuzzles against you. Again, his lips press a tender kiss directly over your heart, wings fluttering in content as his thumbs tease over your nipples.
Fingers trace languidly against your skin, needing to feel every inch of you beneath his touch. Slowly, Seonghwa begins trailing feather light kisses down your body, heart fluttering in anticipation. Every second that passes, your scent becomes stronger, your thighs subconsciously squeezing around his sides. He knows you need him just as desperately as he needs you, and he does not want to waste any more time than he already has.
Reaching the hemline of your sleep shorts, Seonghwa dips the tips of his fingers beneath the band. A tender kiss is placed onto the skin of your stomach, nose nudging against you affectionately. The corner of his lips quirks upwards as he slowly begins tugging your shorts down your thighs, being extra cautious not to wake you.
Of course, Seonghwa cannot help himself. How can he when he has the most perfect being laid out before him? Temptation wins out as he presses loving kisses against your thighs with each inch revealed to him. Once he fully removes your shorts, he nearly lets out a low moan when the sight of your bare pussy, needy and already shimmering with your arousal, is presented to him.
Tossing your shorts somewhere in the room, Seonghwa is quick to run his hands up the length of your legs. His fingers ghost against your skin, breathing deepening as your scent completely immerses him in everything you. Once he reaches the tops of your thighs, his thumbs begin to softly brush against the sensitive flesh. The way you shiver beneath his touch, even while still asleep, makes him smile.
Again, he leans into you, pressing delicate kisses against the skin of your thighs. His teeth graze your flesh, teasing at you as he continues to brush his thumbs over you.
Every little sound you make, every twitch and shudder of your body, has his cock absolutely throbbing against the mattress. A carnal ache resides within him. A desperation only you can satiate. Yet, when it comes to you, he always wants more.
Finally, unable to wait even a moment longer, Seonghwa presses his face against your cunt. He noses along your slit, inhaling deeply as his whole body shudders from your scent. Teasingly, his tongue flicks out to taste you, and even the briefest touch of your arousal on his lips has him moaning shamelessly against your core.
Something within himself snaps. 
With his whole body shaking in need, Seonghwa buries himself deep in your cunt. Desperate, guttural moans escape him as he drags his tongue through your folds, eagerly suckling at the sweet nectar that flows from between your legs. His lips place a few chaste kisses against your clit before he’s wrapping them around such a sensitive little bud, suckling at you eagerly.
His eyes nearly roll to the back of his head, tongue flattening against your clit before rolling in circles. His hot breath hits your cunt with every exhale, wings fluttering above him as he groans lowly. Desperately, his hands tighten over your waist, pulling you even closer into his touch.
A pleased rumble shakes his chest once he feels your fingers tangle in his hair. The way you hold him to your cunt, tugging him in closer has him redoubling his efforts over you.
Heavy breathing permeates the room, your hips beginning to grind against his face in time with his movements. Sleep still clings to the corners of your vision, eyes barely cracked open to peer at him through the darkness. Each flick of his tongue over your clit has pleasant jolts of pure ecstasy coursing through your veins, already feeling so close to the edge as that familiar pressure builds within.
His movements are desperate, shaking his head back and forth while sucking your clit between his lips. Sharp, hooded eyes glint up at you through the shadows, his hips beginning to grind against the mattress as his fingers dig into your skin.
Again, he tugs you in impossibly closer, tongue slipping down to dip between your folds. Swirling the muscle around your entrance, he hums, pressing himself firmer into your cunt. His nose grinds against your clit, tongue buried as deep as possible within you as he licks and sucks almost uncontrollably.
The sound of your moans create a beautiful symphony around him, urging him on. He can tell you’re close. The way your thighs begin to shake around his head makes his cock twitch. His hips grind harder against the mattress, silently begging for you to fall apart with him as he brings you to ecstasy.
Wrapping his lips around your clit once more, it’s like you answer his every prayer.
Back arching from the bed, you come with a loud cry of his name. Your thighs squeeze around his head, holding him in place as he flattens his tongue against you, letting you ride out your orgasm as you grind your hips against him. Whimpers and moans echo alongside blissful sighs of his name, your heart racing as pleasure floods your veins.
The moment he feels you flooding his tongue, his eyes roll into the back of his head. With your thighs closing around his head, his pleased cries get muffled against your cunt as he comes with you. Hot spurts of his come soak into the sheets beneath his hips, fingers digging harshly into your skin. His wings flare out behind him, shuddering along with his whole body as he keeps himself buried against you.
Slowly, you begin to catch your breath.
Bringing your one hand up, you rub at your face. Blinking a few times to clear your vision, you spare a glance at the seraphim between your legs.
Dark eyes already stare up at you lovingly, a soft chuckle shaking his chest. His fingers smooth over your skin, leaning in once more to place a tender kiss against your clit.
“Good morning, My Beloved.” At the way you simply groan in response, a knowing smile begins to tug at his lips. “Good dream?”
“Mmmh, the best…” Humming, you rub lightly at your eyes. A moment later, you pause in your movements, brow furrowing slightly as you take in just how dark the room still is. “What time is it?”
Seonghwa, who has begun placing tender kisses along the skin of your thighs once more, smiles up at you from between your legs. “Not yet dawn.”
You stretch lightly, brushing a hand over your forehead as you take a deep breath in. “What time did you get in last night? I didn’t hear you come home.”
That single, simple word makes him smile, heart warming inside of his chest.
“Not that long ago.” He noses along your thigh, drifting closer and closer to your core with each movement. “I’m glad my return didn’t wake you. Though, it was a treat seeing you wearing those Tweety Bird pyjama shorts I got you.”
Your face flares with heat, averting your gaze to the side.
“They’re comfy.” You mumble, the cutest of pouts tugging at your lips.
Seonghwa chuckles, a soft expression resting on his features as he admires every inch of you before him. The way your fingers lightly begin to play with some strands of his hair has him leaning into your touch.
A pleased rumble shakes his chest, hands caressing over the sides of your thighs and up your hips. Lightly, his gaze flicks downwards, shifting between staring into your eyes before glancing hungrily at your dripping cunt.
“Beloved…”
The desperate moan Seonghwa lets out goes straight to your core, causing you to clench around nothing. A movement of which he eagerly catches.
“Yes, Seonghwa?”
A shiver caresses his spine as you coo his name so tenderly.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips.
“More.” His voice trembles in need as his fingers dig into the skin of your hips. He pulls your closer, chest beginning to rise and fall dramatically as he stares, transfixed, at your weeping cunt. “Give me more.”
“Greedy little angel…” You chuckle, tracing your fingers over the side of his cheek. “Don’t you know that gluttony is a sin?”
“But I made a mess, Beloved.” Wide eyes peer up at you, a dark lust swirling behind the guise of innocence. “A beautiful, intoxicating mess. It’s only right that I clean you up.”
“You can’t fool me, Angel.” The corner of your lips quirk upwards in amusement, eyes shining as you peer down at him. “I know you only want to clean me up just so you can make a mess out of me again.”
A pout tugs at his features, eyebrows drooping dramatically. “But I love making a mess out of you.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, then.” You smile, gently brushing some hair out of his eyes. “I love it, too.”
Seonghwa does not need to be told twice.
Without wasting another second, his tongue is back on you. This time, his movements are a lot slower. More precise. No drop is to go to waste. He wants to take his time, letting you feel every ounce of his love and passion for you. He wants you to know just how much he desires you, and just how much he enjoys this.
Pleased hums escape him as he drags his tongue through your folds, laving his mouth over your entire pussy. Dark eyes lock onto your own as he suckles and licks at your cunt, wings fluttering lightly in the air. His hands creep up your sides, touch trailing against your skin as he shifts to cup your breasts. He pinches at your nipples, rolling the pert buds between his fingers before tugging at them gently.
A low moan parts your lips, arching into his touch. Almost immediately, your hands come up to cover his own, pressing them firmer against your breasts. The content rumble that shakes his chest goes straight to your core, clenching around his tongue as he buries the muscle into your tight cunt.
Curling his tongue, his nose brushes tenderly against your clit. He pinches at your nipples once more, squeezing the flesh of your breasts appreciatively. As your hips begin to grind against him, he smirks. Humming contently, Seonghwa shifts to wrap his lips back around that sensitive little bundle of nerves, suckling lightly before flicking his tongue against you.
Soft moans and whimpers slip passed your lips, fingers returning to his hair to pull him in closer. Your whole body feels as if it’s floating, completely relaxing beneath his touch as pleasure courses through your veins. 
Everything about him is sinful. From the way his dark eyes shine beneath the light of the moon, captivating you in their loving, lustful pools. To the way his hands trace over your skin, burning multiple paths of desire, comfort, safety, and fulfillment all at the same time. You cannot count the amount of times he’s lost himself in you using just his tongue, and you know that tonight is no exception.
Your heart swells with nothing but love as he reaches out for your free hand. Almost instantly, he’s intertwining your fingers with his, squeezing gently. 
He’s right here, and he always will be.
Using his opposite hand, he parts your folds with two fingers. His tongue licks a long strip up your cunt before flattening over your clit. Now that he’s opened you completely to him, there is nothing in the way for him to be able to give you the most pleasure that he can.
A deep groan reverberates against you, hot breaths hitting your cunt with every exhale.
“Best fucking pussy I’ve ever had the pleasure to worship.” A tender kiss is placed upon your clit. “Perfect, delectable little cunt… Only one I’ll ever want. Only one I’ll ever need.”
Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head, thighs shaking from his words. Your fingers tighten in his hair, squeezing his hand in your own as you whimper his name.
“That’s it, Beloved,” He coos, bumping his nose against your clit affectionately. “Say my name. Scream my name to the heavens and tell them who your eternal servant is. Tell them who it always will be. In this life, and the next. For all eternity.”
Your whole body begins to tremble as he wraps his lips around your clit, gently suckling on that sensitive little bundle of nerves. He purposely keeps you suspended in bliss, teetering right on the edge as he watches your whole being flood with ecstasy.
Pride fills his chest at how you whimper and whine for him, your hips desperately rolling against his tongue as he teases at your cunt.
“Tell me, Beloved,” A harsh suck is given to your clit, his eyes flashing as he locks gazes with you. “Who does such a delectable pussy belong to?”
All that you can manage is a desperate moan, chest heaving as that building pressure becomes almost unbearable within you. You can feel your clit practically pulsating, beginning to clench rhythmically around nothing.
“Who’s pretty pussy am I allowed to worship? To devour?”
“Seonghwa-“
“Say it.” Dark eyes flash beneath the moonlight, tone sharp as he growls lowly. “Come on, Pretty Girl. I want to hear you say it.”
Your breath hitches, nearing choking on a whine. Squeezing your eyes shut at the pleasure overwhelming your every nerve, you attempt to steady your shaking form. Taking a deep breath in, you go to speak.
However, the moment the words begin to form on your lips, Seonghwa wraps his own back around your clit, sucking harshly.
“Fuck-“ Inhaling sharply, your eyes fly open. Your voice borders on a scream as you just manage to choke out, “My pretty pussy is all yours to devour-“
Your words get caught in your throat as another loud curse escapes you, tossing your head back onto the pillows.
Seonghwa snarls against your cunt, shaking his head back and forth rapidly as he eagerly continues to suck at your clit. His hands tighten over you, pulling you impossibly closer as his wings flare out behind him.
A scream of his name tears from your throat, whole body shaking as your back arches from the bed. Your orgasm crashes into you unforgivingly, feet lifting slightly in the air from the intensity. Desperate whines and moans of his name escape you, clenching around nothing as your release floods out of you.
Only, Seonghwa doesn’t stop there.
Your cries of ecstasy only serve to spur him on as he slides the two fingers he had been using to spread your pussy open for him into your cunt. The feeling of your walls sucking him in, squeezing around his digits so delicately makes him groan. A shudder wracks his whole body, eyes closing briefly in bliss as his cock throbs against the sheets. Already he’s so close to coming again, but first, he needs to see you falling apart for him again. Because of him.
With practiced ease, he curls his fingers right up against that special spot inside of you. His tongue flicks at your clit, placing delicate kisses against that sensitive little bud before sucking harshly at it once more. The lewd, wet slurping sounds of his tongue on your cunt fill the room, only serving to make him even more feral than he already is.
High pitched moans escape you, tears of pleasure beginning to line your eyes as your whole body shakes beneath his hold. Your thighs squeeze around his head, not even deterring him in the slightest as you wither and whine. Every little touch makes your head spin, pleasure overwhelming your every sense.
You both wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Fuck- Seonghwa!” You gasp out, eyes squeezing shut as you practically curl into his touch. “Don’t stop-“ A catch in your breath as you cling to him for dear life. “Please, don’t fucking stop!”
A snarl of agreement fills the air, adding more pressure to his fingers as he massages over that special spot deep inside of you. His lips never once leave your clit, hooded gaze locked on your figure and practically demanding that you to fall apart for him right now.
With one final flick over your clit, you do.
Like lightning streaking across the sky, your orgasm crackles through your veins like a flash of electricity. Another scream of his name tears from your throat, broken and desperate as you squirt all over his face. Each movement against your cunt has you shuddering beneath his touch, vision blurring at the corners as the first of your tears of pleasure begin to slide down your cheeks.
Your hold on him is like a vice, grounding yourself to him as your chest heaves with every breath. You can feel something warm and wet splatter lightly against your thighs, Seonghwa’s deep moans beginning to harmonize alongside your own.
The way you notice his wings trembling in the air through your blissful haze causes the corners of your lips to twitch upwards. Knowing he’s just as affected as you are right now makes warmth swell inside of your chest, nothing but love flooding your very soul.
Seonghwa rests his forehead tenderly against your thigh while he catches his breath. His head swims with nothing but you, overwhelmed in the best of ways. Every ounce of his desire for you flows beneath the surface of his skin, drowning him in an undeniable ecstasy that only you can bring him. Seeing you like this - your pure and unfiltered form indulging in all that he has to offer - is unlike any other sensation he has ever felt in his entire existence.
He could never tire of this.
He could never tire of you.
Sliding his fingers from your cunt while releasing his hold on your hand, Seonghwa begins trailing kisses back up your body. Each press of his lips against you is soft, taking his time to admire every contour of your body. Every dip and curve of your glorious figure is sacred to him, and he never wants you to forget how beautiful you truly are. 
How beautiful you have always been.
Finally, his lips return to your own, giving you a deep and tender kiss which conveys his undying affections for you. Soft hums are breathed out against you, Seonghwa cupping your cheek gently in one hand while he slides his opposite arm around your waist. Pulling your chest flush against his own, he settles himself comfortably between your legs.
The feeling of his cock sliding through your wet folds, already hard and aching for you once more, makes you smile.
“My insatiable Little Sinner,” You coo, threading your fingers gently through his hair.
“When it comes to you?” His lips quirk upwards against your own, eyes shining with nothing but pure devotion as he openly admires you before him. “Always.”
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kamiversee ¡ 8 months ago
Text
➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
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✧.* CHAPTER 51 || The Resolve
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, angst if you squint, & heart-tingling fluff.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.5k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——THE TRUTH, CHOSO deserves to know the truth. After all he’s told you about himself the very least you could do is give him that. He’s earned it hasn’t he?
“Six,” You murmur honestly, your heart rate spiking as the word leaves your lips.
He repeats it as if he didn’t hear you, “Six?”
“Mhm, I’ve slept with six other guys since meeting you,” You explain in full, facing forward and avoiding looking at him.
Choso’s eyes are all over the side of your face and he takes a second, processing what you just said. “A-And that includes Geto… Sukuna, and the other guy you have feelings for, right?”
You nod and things get quiet for a second. The only thing you could hear was the pounding of your heart. He hates you, doesn’t he? He thinks you’re disgusting and is seconds away from kicking you out of his car right?
You should’ve told him earlier, maybe he could’ve helped you. It’s too late now though, the silence told you everything. You basically just told him you’re a wh-
The sound of Choso letting out a relieved sigh is heard, “Thank god.” He mutters, earning the turn of your head.
“T-Thank god?” You whisper, “You’re not… You don’t… Choso, I-“
“I mean, in total, six isn’t terrible is it?” He hums casually, meeting your widened eyes, “If three I already knew about, what’s three more?” He says with a shrug.
You blink, “Choso… You can’t be serious right now?”
He tilts his head innocently, “Why not? I mean we’ve known each other since when, like, September? It’s February now, baby. If you break it down, honestly, aside from me that’s one guy a month, no?”
The way he just responded as if it’s literally nothing makes you feel like a fool for worrying so much, “You’re serious…”
“Plus, we weren’t dating so,” He shrugs.
You sigh, “D-Do you want to know who-“
“Nope, absolutely not.” Choso cuts off, shaking his head instantly.
A slight chuckle leaves you due to his reaction, “Why not?”
“I don’t need any more images in my head.” He hums, “I know who two of those six are so, that’s enough info’.”
“Right…” You murmur, nodding slightly. That went entirely different than you were expecting, “Well uh, your next question, then?”
“That was the main one I think,” Choso sighs, “I can’t imagine there’s anything else I should know that could possibly change the trajectory of our… uhm, situationship?”
“You…” You blink, “You don’t want to know who the other guy I have feelings for is?”
A brow is risen and Choso doesn’t quite understand your offer, “Does it matter who he is?”
“I don’t know…” Your shoulders raise a little.
“I mean,” Choso moves his head and glances away in thought, “I can’t imagine it being someone I know since I only know a handful of people.”
“Uh, can I ask something then?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Does the name…” You pause wondering if you should really ask your question but after a second or two, you get it out, “Does the name Gojo Satoru mean anything to you?”
“Gojo?” Choso echoes, giving you a skeptical look as he smiles a bit, “Gojo Satoru? Uh, didn’t Geto mention him earlier?”
You swallow, “Mhm…”
“Does the name mean anything to me? I dunno, I mean, I know him but-, wait…” His eyes narrow at you, “Baby…”
“Y-Yes?” You squeak out nervously.
Choso tilts his head a little, “Is he…?”
“Is he what?”
He pauses, then he swallows and meets your eyes with an intense gaze, “Do I wanna know?”
“Wanna know what?” You ask for clarification.
“Do I wanna know if that’s my competition?” Choso explains simply.
You’re still not used to such easy and quick answers to your questions, “I d-don’t know, do you?”
He stares for a minute before shaking his head, “Never mind then, I already told you, I don’t care who it is.”
“But-“
“What would knowing who it is change?”
Well, it’d give you an opening to explain the list… But then again, do you want to explain the list?
“Baby,” Choso sighs, “What I don’t know won’t hurt me, right?”
“It might…” You mumble.
His brows furrow, “How?”
That’s a damn good question. If you tell Choso that Gojo’s his competition then proceed to explain how you only slept with all those guys, including Choso himself, because of a list you were blackmailed into completing— how would he react?
No, really think about it. One, Choso might feel like a tool. Even though you know you talked to him that day in the hall because you were genuinely interested in him, he might never feel that way. To any sane human, that interaction will feel set up.
And two, somewhere deep down, you still want to protect Gojo. Why? Because you know there’s more to this blackmailing situation and you can’t tear down his character anymore without knowing the truth, that’s just not in your nature. And hey, you may regret this later when you do learn the truth but, it’s the thought that counts, right?
A man who’s obsessed with you and loves you like Gojo does wouldn’t blackmail you without good reason-
Okay, wait, what good reason is there to blackmail someone? And… What if boredom wasn’t the reason like he said it was… What if this was all done just so that Gojo could somehow trick you into running back to him?
Think about it. He claims the list was done out of boredom but later down the line tells you he loves you. What if he knew Choso hates liars, knew you’d tell Choso the truth after so long, and assumed you and Choso would part, thus leaving you to run back to him?
What if this is some kinda sick game and when the credits roll, the winning option is revealed to be Gojo Satoru? What if-
Choso says your name, “Are you okay?”
“H-Huh?” You breathe out, not knowing the facial expression you hold.
Your eyes were all wide and you looked like you’d seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong?” Choso asks carefully.
You shake your head and snap out of your mind, “Nothing, sorry.”
“After all I’ve told you, you still chose to lie to me?” He teases.
Your heart jumps a bit, “I-I didn’t mean to lie, I just, uhm… W-Well-“
He snorts and you freeze. When you look at Choso you see the way he’s smiling at you for the first time in a while. As quickly as your eyes meet, he turns away and brings his hand over his mouth.
“You… You were messing with me, weren’t you?” You question, narrowing your eyes at the man.
Choso lets out a chuckle, “Kinda. M’sorry, you just got all nervous and it was cute.”
“Well I thought I fucked up again Choso, that’s not funny,” You tell him, frowning.
He laughs, the sound more genuine than ever and making your heart simmer into a state of relaxation. A pout takes over your expression and you couldn’t believe that after all this he still found a way to tease you.
Playfully, you reach over and hit his arm, “Quit laughing, you scared me.”
Choso’s eyes get dramatically wide and he winces, bringing a hand to where you just hit him and sending you a look, “Oh wow, and after I tell you I was abused, you decide to hit me…” He points out, again making your heart sink.
You swallow hard and get nervous all over again, “Shit, s-sorry…”
Choso stares at you for a second and it’s slow how his smile returns, the sight making you realize he was messing with you again. 
This time you frown and turn away from him, “Oh my god, stop doing that, we’re supposed to be serious right now.”
He starts snickering, “Baby, c’mon you know that was a little funny.”
“It wasn’t,” You utter seriously, staring out your window and watching water slide down the glass.
The sound of him scoffing is heard before he moves and a hand is placed on your arm. You turn and look down at his fingers wrapping around your arm and watch how he tries to tug at your arms to get you to unfold them.
“I’m sorry, princess,” Choso hums, “C’mere, I was jus’ teasin’ you.”
You pull away from him, “Making jokes about your childhood trauma isn’t funny, Cho.”
“I laughed,” He says, shrugging.
You roll your eyes at him, “Well I didn’t.”
“Yeah and that’s the problem,” He argues back, “I can joke about my trauma. It’s my trauma.”
You sigh, “But-“
“Baby.” He cuts off, tipping his head to the side.
“What?”
Choso’s eyes grow pleading, “Look at me please?”
With a huff, you steadily lift your gaze to his, “Okay, now what?”
“Come here,” He says.
Your brows furrow and you blink, “What do you mean come here?”
“Climb over to me, I wanna hug you.”
You stare at him, “Choso I’m not climbing over-“
“Then I’ll go out in the rain, walk over to your side, and drag you out of that seat.” He says while finally pulling your arms loose. Then, Choso reaches down and unbuckles your seatbelt, “Either you come over here or I come over there.”
You sigh and look at his area, “Choso, there’s not even enough space for me to-“
He moves back into his seat and immediately adjusts his chair to go back as far as it can, providing you more than enough space to be able to sit on the floor and in between his legs if you wanted to.
“I dunno’ why you’re acting like you haven’t done this before,” Choso scoffs, “C’mon, bring your ass over here,” He orders, patting his thigh, “I’m not gonna ask you again.”
You sigh heavily and start moving, shifting your knees into the seat and then carefully climb over the center console and to Choso’s side. His hand goes to your waist to support you as you move and you soon find yourself sliding into his lap.
Choso’s car was rather spacious so it’s not like it was difficult for you to end up in this position with him, hell, you’ve been here plenty of times before.
Once seated comfortably, Choso settles his hands on your waist, holding you lightly as his head tips up to you, “Hi princess.”
You try not to smile at him, “Hi Cho.”
“Hug me,” He directs.
You pout, “You could at least say please…”
“If I was asking, I would’ve. But,” He tilts his head at you, “I wasn’t asking you, I’m telling you.”
You simply stare into those brown eyes of his for a moment, noticing the dullness from earlier has lifted and his pupils are dilated. After which, you begin to lean in slowly and Choso grows impatient, quickly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to him.
The smile you tried to bite back breaks free onto your face as you move to drape your arms around his neck, burying your face into him and feeling as he squeezes onto you.
Choso lets out a sigh and you feel his entire body relax underneath you as he rests his head back and shuts his eyes, “Now, can we stay like this for a while?”
The crook of his neck smells so good and you were just melting into his hold, “Mhm.”
The two of you nearly molded into one another’s bodies after all the stress that’d been endured. This was so surreal to you— to go from arguing and worrying you may have ruined everything to hugging that same person without being confused in the slightest, god it lifted this weight off your chest.
And as said weight was lifted, another weight took place on your heart. This weight was strong, suffocating even. What did this weight symbolize? Was it trust? Peace? Or… was it love?
Did such a simple yet emotionally present conversation become the breaking point for you? Was this all you needed to acknowledge your feelings? When you realized you felt something for Gojo, it was that time in his car when music was playing and he just looked so damn perfect.
But… With Choso it was different. The physical sensation of falling in love with someone is different for every person. In this case, it’s like the heat emanating from his previously wet and cold body was wrapping around you and smothering you with comfort.
Breathing in his cologne brought nothing but the brightest memories to the forefront of your mind. Choso consumed you with nothing more than a simple hug and he had no idea.
He was completely unaware of how his embrace and faint but gentle thumb swirling over your back made you never want to leave this very moment. Choso didn’t know that you were currently recalling your first phone call with him, remembering how he’d put a smile on your face after Gojo had stripped it from you.
And he’s always been that for you, hasn’t he? In a world where Gojo puts you in a dark room, leaving you frightened, confused, and nervous, Choso is to you the same light he claims you are to him.
Forget Gojo’s claims that you and him are the same. No, you’ve found the person in whom your similarities lay in and that person is none other than Choso Kamo, a man whose only fault with you was falling for you.
And even then, you don’t blame him for doing so because you did too. Your heart is simply swelling right now and you unconsciously started clinging onto his body tighter.
The way, “Choso,” Slips past your lips before you even realize is simply tantalizing to the man beneath you.
He feels as your breath hits the skin of his neck, your warmth giving him chills and making him swallow, “Yes, princess?” He replies.
“I’m sorry,” You apologize sincerely.
He sighs, “Told’ you to stop doing that.” Choso reminds you. Then, his hand slips to caress along your spine, “But, what are you sorry for, baby?”
You weren’t sure just yet. Everything? Nothing? Why is it that you have to apologize for a situation that was never your fault to begin with?
“Earlier,” You come up with, “I think I uh… I should’ve handled things differently.”
He nods a little, trying to ignore the ticklish feeling of your breath against his skin, “Oh, thank you for that. I’m sorry too.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong,” You hum, smiling a little.
“Called’ you dense,” Choso recalls and you feel how his body shifts a little, “Yelled at you, caused a scene, y’know, the list kinda’ goes on, babe.”
“Choso, it-,” You pause for a second. Then, you start moving, your hands slipping down to his chest as you push yourself up to sit on his lap comfortably instead of laying on him, “What?”
He raises a brow, “Hm? What? Did I say something wrong?”
“You called me babe.” You point out, grinning.
He chuckles, “It’s no different from baby is it?”
“It is.” You say.
Choso nods, noting that in his head before asking, “Which do you like more?”
“Doesn’t matter, I like anything you call me,” You tell him, smiling a little.
Choso nods slowly and bites back the mischievous smirk that threatened to show, “Anything?”
“Mhm,” You hum with a slight shrug.
“I’ll…” His words fade for a second and he’s so deep in his head as he processes what you just told him, “Yeahh, I’ll keep that in mind.”
You tip your head to the side, “Why’d you say it like that?”
“No reason, princess, ignore me,” Choso dismisses, “Anyways, I was serious about my apology.”
You sigh and move your hand to caress the side of his face, “Right, well, I forgive you, Cho.”
“You’re supposed to say I didn’t do anything wrong,” He jokes, leaning into your touch and pushing his lower lip out to pout.
A scoff leaves you and you slip your fingers down to his jaw before grabbing ahold of his chin, “Mmmh… You yelled at me, I didn’t like that.”
“Your face said otherwise.” Choso points out, glancing off to the side.
“Hm?” Your brows knit together.
“For a second I thought you were turned on,” He says, so clearly joking with you.
You snort, “If I was turned on, it’s not because you were yelling at me.”
“Yeah?” The way the corner of his lips quips up into a sly smirk makes you shift in his lap a little, “Then what was it, baby? I knew there was somethin’.”
“When you were arguing with Suguru,” You recall simply, sliding your thumb up to trace Choso’s lower lip, “I don’t know why but I thought it was hot.”
He raises a brow, “Oh yeah?”
You just barely meet Choso’s eyes and you could feel yourself folding. Good god, why is this man so damn sexy?
“Mhm.” You hum timidly.
He pushes his lips out a little and kisses the tip of your thumb, “Words baby.”
“Yeah,” You utter, your voice almost breathy. 
“Atta’ girl,” Choso praises and you swear you should not be getting turned on right now. “Anywho, before you get yourself too worked up, I did want to ask you something else.”
You shake away your incoming horny thoughts and return to seriousness, “Okay… What is it?”
His gaze drops down to your torso and his eyes narrow, “Well, I wanted to ask about you and uh… You and Sukuna.”
For some reason, unlike earlier you’re not as nervous, “Okay…”
Choso’s index finger and his thumb are toying with the fabric of your top as the rest of his fingers rest on your hips, “Did you… Did you enjoy your time with him?” He asks carefully.
Your heart jumps, “Uh, I-“
“You promised to answer honestly,” Choso reminds you, lifting his gaze to yours once more, “I won't ask anything I don’t want the answer to.”
“Alright, well,” You look off to the side, “He was sweet to me after we…”
“After you had sex?” Choso fills in.
You nod, “Mhm. He was surprisingly good with aftercare. A-And I think… I think because of that, yes, I did enjoy my time with him.”
He gazes at you for a while without saying anything and you continue to keep your eyes elsewhere. Choso thinks back and he genuinely doesn’t remember Sukuna being like that. Before his last known girlfriend, after he’d have sex with whichever girl he was with, he’d kick most of them out.
But, there were a few he was different with. Those few Choso got to meet. The most memorable was the last known one, the same one Sukuna knocked out. Choso remembers her to be rather rude to him, calling him gross or disturbing whenever she and him crossed paths but, he recalls the woman having Sukuna wrapped around her finger.
Of course, due to Choso’s experience with Sukuna, he didn’t care to point this out to his older brother— if that woman was playing him, he deserved it.
Even so, it makes Choso wonder what about you made Sukuna treat you so nicely. Hell, it actually worried Choso because since the two attend the same university, Choso knows what it’s like to have his love interest taken from him by his older brother.
“More than…” Choso’s voice is soft, scared even, “More than with me?” He blurts out without thinking.
Your eyes snap onto his and your brows furrow, face shifting into something bothered, “What? Hell no.”
Choso releases a shaky breath and nods, “Oh, okay good.”
You tilt your head, “Choso are you worried I may feel something for him?”
“N-No, I know you said you don’t and I believe you.” Choso stammers, “I-It’s just-“
“He’s repulsive,” You snap, “After everything you’ve told me about him, I could never see that man in the same light.”
“Oh.” He chirps.
“Now, it does confuse me why I experienced something different but,” You shrug, “I don’t care to find out.”
Choso’s eyebrows raise and he stops toying with your shirt, “Really? Why’s that?”
“Because I’m not interested in him.” You say.
Choso smiles a little, “Good…” All his worry fades and he returns to his playfulness, “So uh, who are you interested in, then?”
“You, obviously.” You tell him with a roll of your eyes.
“Is it obvious?” Choso questions.
You frown, “I thought so…”
“Mmmh, I dunno’ baby…” He starts looking away with a skeptical expression.
“I’ve said it before but, I do want you Choso.” You remind the man.
His eyes shoot back over to yours, “Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Have me, then,” Choso says eagerly.
What surprises him the most is your response to that this time around, “Can I?” You ask.
He bats his eyelashes at you, “O-Of course.” The words pour out of his mouth and his heart skips a beat.
“You sure?” You question teasingly with an innocent tilt of your head.
“Fuckin’ positive,” Choso breathes, smiling, “Have all of me, princess.”
He’s so clearly happy about this and that makes you just as happy, “Okay…”
“Okay?” There’s a hint of need in his voice, “What does that mean?”
You give a sheepish shrug, “I don’t know…”
“Baby I can’t do I don’t know.”
“Okay then,” You slide your hands down and rest them on his chest, “Let’s make it official, Choso.”
“M-Make us official?” He asks for clarification.
“Mhm.” You hum.
“So,” He can hardly process what’s happening, the entire conversation feeling like a dream, “You wanna be my girlfriend?”
A pretty smile spreads across your face, “Yes, Choso.”
“Okay,” He whispers, nodding, “O-Okay, I can work with that.”
“Work with that?” Your brows knit, “Cho, what're you talking about-“
“Let’s go on a date,” He offers, “Wait-, no. Can I take you out on a date?”
You blink, “We’ve been on dates already-“
“A real one.” Choso urges. Oh he’s been planning this for months now, hasn’t he?
You’re smiling from ear to ear, “A real date?”
“Yes.” Choso says, “We both dress up all nice, go out to eat or somethin’, y’know, do this properly.”
“Okay.” You murmur.
His hands slide up to your waist and he squeezes a little, “Yes or no baby?”
“Yes,” You start smiling and your heart has never felt this full before, “Yes you can take me out on a date.”
“Thank you,” He sighs, suddenly tugging your body closer to his, “This way I’ll never have a reason to feel insecure.”
Your arms go up and back around his neck, “Yeah?” You whisper.
Choso’s voice lowers and his gaze is so intimate with you, “Mhm, I think that’ll solve every problem we’ve had so far.”
You nod, “I think so too.”
Both of your faces near one another and you’ve never in your life felt more content with a person before. Is this what you’ve been craving for months? Is this freedom? Peace? Bliss?
To have such a tough conversation with your heart spiking multiple times, and feeling worried about certain reactions, all to result in feeling more comfortable in a person is something you never expected. Do you deserve this? Such happiness?
Well, why wouldn’t you? What have you done to yourself to not deserve the man looking at you so lovingly right now?
Did you forget?
The list is over. You’re free to experience this without worrying about hurting anyone. You are finally allowed to love with all your heart instead of only half.
Gojo was right about one thing, he could never give you things Choso can because, at the end of the day, Choso will explain everything to you because he knows what it’s like to be confused and hurt. Choso understands you, he actually loves you.
As for that stupidly beautiful white-haired man? You’re not sure what to think of him anymore but, you think you’re done thinking about him.
Sure, you still have a journal to burn with him but, can’t you indulge yourself in the joy that is loving someone wholeheartedly? Is that not what you deserve after everything you’ve been through?
Your head tilts as your gaze sinks to Choso’s lips. Does this man even realize how wonderful he is to you? Does he know that he’s your savior? Is he aware of how much you adore him? How thankful you are to him?
“Choso,” You utter so carefully, your face nearing his.
“Yes?” He replies, his eyes dropping to your lips as they near him.
“Thank you,” You suddenly say.
He smiles a little, “For what?”
“Everything,” Your answer is vague at first but you’re quick to explain a bit more, “For loving me the way you do, being so open to me, telling me everything even though it was hard for you…”
“Baby that’s not something you have to thank me for,” He hums, letting out an amused scoff, “That’s the bare minimum of what I should be doing for you.”
Something sheer glosses over your eyes but you ignore it, smiling at his words, “But still,” Your voice is light and tainted with emotion, “Thank you for waiting for me.”
“If my reward for waiting is you,” He smiles, “I told you, I’d wait lifetimes.”
“Choso,” You breathe out, holding onto him so very tightly before the words slide out of your mouth, “I love you.”
His chest is against yours so you can feel the way his heart throbs. His breathing picks up in an instant, hitching for only a moment as your words caress his ears so beautifully.
“Y-You…” Choso’s at a loss for words. He’s dreaming, right? “You what?” He asks, his voice shaky as his eyes land on yours.
The sight of joyful and overwhelmed tears in your eyes lets him know just how real this is. Then, you lean in and just barely press your lips into his before repeating yourself, “I love you, Choso.”
Those arms around your waist squeeze you tighter and you don’t miss the way he trembles a bit, his own eyes glossing over, “I love you too, princess.”
Another sweet, soft, and lightweight kiss is shared between you two but as you pull away and your eyes meet all over again, Choso sees the way your pupils have expanded. He wonders how long they’ve been that way, having only seen it at such a size once before.
His brows tense and Choso pulls you to him again, muttering the words into your mouth, “I love you so much.”
You smile briefly against the connection before mumbling right back, “I love you too Cho.”
Everything you could’ve ever asked for was within your grasp now. Peace, freedom, happiness, certainty, hope, love— all of which was felt in the midst of you and Choso kissing so passionately.
This right here… This is what one would describe as a healthy relationship. 
Arguments and drama occur but the end result should always be this; peace and understanding.
That’s what he is to you. Choso is your peace, your understanding, and the man you love all in one.
You’ve finally ended the war in your heart. Should someone ever ask you who ended that battle, who healed the plague on you, your answer would remain forever;
Choso Kamo.
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GOJO SATORU ��︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢
KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???
NANAMI KENTO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙
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mlist || previous chapt || next chpt
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tags;
@blognicole @suguruologist @luqueam @ivoryviness @sinaxalui @rxnnie18 @carlacujo @gods-landing @bitchysouljellyfish @miles4hour @sinaxalui @annananamin @heart-snow @kiyomizzx @hanuh @acehyacinth @mccookiemonster @tojis-ball-sack @cartwheel6869 @mariluvsusstuff @addie1010 @slammynics @actualz0mbie @hisbitchhh @kay-xle @cunttee3 @voids-universe @raininglovelyfire @itsbokutosjuicyass @peaceoutbritta @barbielani @gennaray @r3inae @kfmcykdy @camiihutt @tokina @curtin81937 @hopefullydecent @nameless-shade @ureuphoriasworld @forgetfulmachine @legbouk @lilliaannn @clementineee0-0 @divinelseraph @didibxx
877 notes ¡ View notes
atiianeishaunted ¡ 2 months ago
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blue writing is lance's notes fyi anyway uhh character bios below !! long ass writing warning but worth it i promise chat pspsp | no notes version AND the transparent PNGS down at the end!
character bios:
Allura [???] | A lone princess who is burnt out and stressed out her mind, her only solace/stress relief being the garden she has where she can have peace and quiet, shutting her brain off while she does the tasks of tending to her precious plants and bugs. She tries her best to remain as friendly and optimistic as possible, if not for her own sanity, however thanks to the stress and pressure put on her, she has a tendency to lose her cool and sometimes shut down entirely. She has a passion for commanding and loves honing her fighting skills as that was one of the ways she bonded with her father. She more often than not can be seen in comfortable clothes, she doesnt mind dresses and does enjoy dressing up but will only do it when shes going out the castle or theres a meeting. | this gal couldve been an burnt out autistic queen DREAMWORKS, YOU COUDLVE MADE HER ICONIC .... let her be a dorky nerd whos a hater sometimes, pretty please
Takashi Shirogane | A garrison commander (no one is really sure of his job title to be honest with you..) who's insanely passionate about his job, to the point where hes willing to sacrifice it all if the garrison wills it. Anything to serve. He tries his best to fit in and be hip with the kids, he tries to come across as the 'chill' teacher, but students of his have reported that after a few months, any amount of chillness is thrown out the window. If not that, hes often not even in class, too busy doing missions he wasnt assigned to. He's intense. Very intense. Knows his way around words though for the most part, can be very convincing and a bit maniuplative, very goal driven. He means well though? Thats what he says. He always throws a quick sorry if someone brings it up with him, so that must mean something. | sorry in advance if you follow along with Sonder's story... unrelated but dreamworks wrote a banger antagonist without even realizing!
"Keith" Kogane / "Morse" | Unknown origins. He was a talented garrison pilot who could practically fly with his eyes closed, a jack of all trades, short tempered and prone to losing it but all things considered, the perfect cadet for the garrison's goals, he came out of nowhere practically, just poofed in like a ghost and wiped the floor with everyone. He really just needed a good guiding hand. No one is quite sure what gender he is, his androgynous appearance and tendency to respond to anything besides being called a girl have people baffled to say the least. He's very clearly not all there in the head either which goes hand in hand with his odd bursts of ego and then odd bursts of whining, these bursts often include talks that could only be described as cult-ish. People have their theories. Beyond those bursts, hes mostly very deadpan and quiet. But despite his strength and that intense feeling of fear and dread people get when they're around him, he's.. popular, somehow. Admired greatly for his devilish good looks. A universal appeal if you will. He doesn't seem to notice. Or perhaps doesnt care. Either way he's far too busy following Shiro around and treating him like the second coming of god to really indulge in romance for now. Lance's self proclaimed rival, Keith is also unaware of this. | also sorry in advance for this one if you follow sonder's storyline Lance McClain | A former Garrison cargo pilot who moved up in rank when Keith got kicked out. Keith is his rival and also all that Lance can talk about, even after the guy got kicked out and left for dead (Lance overheard some things while sneaking out past the teacher's lounge). He has a very noticable personality and loves to be the center of attention, hes still finding his footing and figuring out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to be. Despite his many claims, hes not all that popular. He can't really flirt with girls all too well. His general goal is to be so well known so he won't ever be forgotten, hence why he begged his mom to let him dye his hair and get piercings (if he used Keith as an argument, thats none of your business.) (he saw keith dying his hair once or twice and instantly wanted to copy, its a bad habit.). He loves LOVES taking care of his appearance and is fairly vain, he has extensive routines and will freak out if he can't follow them. His ego and overbearing confidence is all to drown out his deep insecurities and fears. He tries his best to come across as a suave, cool, charming, awesome, any positive adjective really, person but in all reality he's a mama's boy, a dork, a loser if you will who has a love for the retro and is a huge gamer. If he must admit, he and Keith'd get along great actually, Keith ticks alot of boxes and honestly Lance deeply admires him and wants to be like him. | dreamworks dropped that lance was a gamer and loved retro stuff and then never talked about it again. sigh. Hunk Garrett | Hunk has many passions, mainly inspired by parents, he mainly specializes in cooking and mechanics, he enjoys tinkering with things, taking them apart to see how they work and working from there to see if he can rebuild it with 0 instruction, hes gotten good at it. He's Lance's childhood best friend, they're extremely close and are often seen constantly poking fun at eachother. Its all in good fun though. Hunk struggles extremely with anxiety and has a service dog back home that he left at home when heading to the Garrison as he worried he couldn't take care of it while studying. Despite his anxiety, he quite enjoys talking to people and sharing things he enjoys with them, he often tries to get over his fears by branching out and | I looked up his name from the old show because he deserves an 'actual' name, free my boy, he was done so dirty, also i remember when we all thought hunk had two moms (or was that just me ..) and i live by it tbh, two moms and a dad whos still active in his life, 3 whole parents for the greatest fella ever
Pidge Holt | Not much can be said about Pidge, they keep to themselves and don't share much about themselves. Just like Keith, their gender is often up to debate and when asked, Pidge will never give a consistent answer. They're a major tech wiz and with their talents, they're a complete menace. Pidge is prone to being mischevious and pranking others, often taking jokes a bit too far. They're egotistical and find that robots are their preferred companions in comparison to humans. | loser chronically online 13 year old who would tell you to kys, matt probably has to take away their electronics all the time LMFAO purposely made their outfit look a bit strange bc , theyre a kid whos a NERD /aff let them dress a bit stupid and let them cringe at it 5 years later ty
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No notes version and PNGS below :-)
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im insane about this reboot!! please reblog and im willing to elaborate if anyone wants me to <333 hrgfhrfg i really want this to take off bwaa
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iichfilwypj ¡ 8 days ago
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make or not the bracelet! | percy jackson
჌ percy jackson x daughter of hypnos! reader ჌ warnings: none! ჌ wc: 700 pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6 - pt 7
“Not a chance” he said once more, tidying up the chaos that was his cabin. She was right on his heels, her lower lip jutting out in a dramatic pout. Each time he managed to tidy up a spot, she undid his efforts.
“Please, I'm begging you!” In a few short days, they would be at his house. Meeting your best friend’s mom might not sound like a big deal, but she was terrified. Her solution? Making bracelets as a gift for Sally! “She’s going to love them!”
As he folded a t-shirt again, he responded, “Sure, but what’s the point? We can just buy her some.” He understood the difference when a cushion slammed into his head. He returned the gesture with the folded t-shirt. “Why does it matter so much? She’s literally my mom, we don’t need to bring her anything.”
“But, you know…” her voice trembled, giving her away. Seeing how she raised her hand and nervously bit her nails, he understood everything.
“No way you are nervous” He approached her, gently holding her wrist in his hand. He searched her eyes for a response, but her gaze was fixed on the floor. “It’s just my mom.”
He understood that she was intimidated by meeting new people, but his mom? Oh, his mom would love her! Percy had been talking with Sally about her nonstop for weeks, and he couldn’t recall a single bad thing being mentioned; he couldn't remember having any bad thoughts about her at all. 
He mentally jotted down a reminder to discuss this later, but for now, he wanted to calm her down. “I know how you’re feeling, but I promise she’ll adore you. And I’m not saying this just because she’s my mom; she’s the kindest woman in the world –she literally likes Annabeth, so you can believe me–. You’ll love her, and she’ll love you too, okay?” 
She finally looked up to find his eyes. Her eyebrows were knitted together with concern, and he brushed his finger between them to erase the crease. She smiled at his gesture and nodded. 
He pulled a silly face and vigorously shook his head. “Mhm, no, I need to hear you say it.”
“Okay, Perseus Jackson.” Grabbing a random book from the bed and using it as a fan, she replied to him. “Is that enough, or do I need to send you a formal notice, nice gentleman?”
“That would be perfect, thank you ma’am” He bowed in a way that made laughter impossible to resist. In silence, they sat down, sharing an unspoken agreement that the mess could wait until later. 
The cabin fell silent, and memories from the previous day flooded his mind. Just as he was about to say something, she spoke up.
“But hold on, can we make the bracelet?”
“Nop.”
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“How the hell do you tie this shit?” Percy was biting his tongue so intensely that she almost told him to stop. For someone who had refused for hours, he seemed overly invested in the task. 
They were sitting on the beach, and everything felt very relaxing. Well, except for him. He was not relaxing at all. 
“I thought you didn’t want to do this?” she remarked, glancing at her own bracelet. Suddenly, a hand hit her arm, nearly making her drop everything. “Hey!”
“I'm making it because you made me!” she shot him an offended look as he struggled to hide a smile. He really didn’t want to make one, but since his friend did, his fingers would have to suffer a little longer.
Without thinking, she launched herself at him. The force of their movement was too much; the delicate strings tore apart, sending beads and threads scattering across the sand. 
“My bracelet!” Percy shouted as she stood up, slowly backing away. He jumped to his feet and dashed after her, who was already trying to escape. “I’m going to kill you!”
They didn’t care that other campers could hear their laughter, and they didn't mind that their clothes were now covered in sand. The nymphs in the water watched with delight as they fell to the ground, launching into a lively tickle fight that echoed with screams and joy. 
Oh, the gossip in the ocean was only getting better and better.
hi! i don't know, i might delete it and re-write it because i like the idea but not the result. i want to sleep so bad but i have insomnia :( anyways! i have no idea how to put those pretty divider but i did my best! ALSOO tell me what you wanna seeee! some fights, more fluff, comfort, anything! AND I SWAR i'm gonna make them kiss soon :))) love u all <3333
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its-time-to-write ¡ 1 year ago
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Hello! Maybe one where Nate kisses the reader like he did Keeley but they’re dating Jamie and he gets very upset but then they call him down and it’s sweet at the end ❤️
This one got real intense, real fast. Deals with some trauma after an unwanted kiss, so be discerning when deciding if you want to read this. Jamie’s really sweet, but this mostly ends up as a look at how it feels when someone does something you have a hard time laughing off.
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i can’t breathe without you
It all happens so fast, really. One minute you’re alone in the boot room, talking to Nate about his day, and the next his lips are pressed against yours. Your entire mind freezes and all you can think is Jamie, and you must say something to that effect because Nate is bumbling through an apology, something about misreading signals and being an idiot, but what you’re really hearing is that he thinks any girl who is nice to him, is attracted to him. 
You’re not. 
He should have known, your mind reasons. He should have known you were with Jamie. 
All rational thought is overshadowed by tears threatening to fall. You say, “I have to go,” and then flee the boot room, leaving Nate standing there all alone. 
You’re not really sure where you’re going, but you’re running, pushing past people in an effort to just get out and get away from the feeling of his lips on yours. 
I didn’t want it, you tell yourself. Didn’t want, didn’t want, didn’t want. 
You knock into Ted in your rush. “Hey there, darling, you alright?” he asks, all fatherly concern. You nod your head once and then are gone, pushing through the door and out into the parking lot. You’re running, running fast. Anything to have control over the way your body feels, to hit the reset button, to forget. 
Jamie will understand, he loves you, he’ll understand, your mind tells you. 
You push it away, because now is not a time for hope. Jamie is a man, and they are all the same. Your ex, Connor, broke up with you when a boy kissed you at a frat party. Never mind that you were shoving him off you before his lips even made contact. Never mind that you had been trying to turn your head away. Never mind that he had seen the whole fucking thing and still decided that you were, in his words, “too easy.”
You’re so distracted by your thoughts and your desperate escape that you barely register Sam’s voice and sprint to catch you until his hand has reached for your arm and you violently shake it away, saying, “don’t touch me,” voice hoarse. 
He instantly lets go and backs up, hands in the air. 
You must look feral, eyes wide, hair flying. Face white. 
Sam’s face has concern written all over it as he asks, softer, “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” you say, just a bit too forcefully. “I’m fine, I just, his lips and I didn’t want it, I swear I didn’t, I didn’t even do anything, but I feel them, and I didn’t do anything I promise, please, please don’t tell Jamie.”
You don’t realize you’re crying until tears fall onto your shoe. Sam’s previous concern has nothing on how he is now. He is downright worried. 
“Do you need me to call someone?” he asks. 
“No!” you reply. “No. I’m fine. It’s just- Nate kissed me, and I promise I didn’t want him to, he just did, and it’s probably my fault but I love Jamie, not Nate, and I need him to know that, ok? I can’t, how am I supposed to keep going, I can’t-” You’re beginning to hyperventilate now. Sam’s hands are up, like he’s calming a wild animal. 
“Hey. Hey now. Why don’t you sit down. It’s alright, it’s just you and me. Take a deep breath for me, alright? Follow my lead.”
You follow Sam’s directives and sit with your head between your legs. Sam takes a moment to type out a message to Coach Beard, while you’re distracted. It says, Find Nate before Jamie does, because who else would it be, and Sam knows Beard will be able to assess and handle the situation properly. Meanwhile, he’s got to calm you down. 
—
Inside the locker room, Beard’s phone dings. He looks away from where Ted is talking to Jamie and then frowns. What are the odds this text is related to you bumping into Ted? Beard, betting man that he is, is sure they’re good. He goes to find Nate. 
Nate is still in the boot room, acting as if nothing’s wrong. 
He looks up in surprise when Beard walks in. 
“Oh, um, hello,” he says. “Is everything alright?”
So he’s clocked Beard’s angry face. At least he’s not a complete imbecile. 
“I don’t know, you tell me,” Beard replies, arms crossed and face stony as ever. “What happened to Jamie’s girlfriend?”
One stammer from Nate is all Beard needs to hear. 
—
Ted tells Jamie, and Jamie is livid. Ted’s phone dings with a help please text from Sam because he has no idea how to help you, and Jamie’s anger reaches a whole new level. 
Beard thinks they should let Jamie have a go at Nate. Roy agrees, and thinks maybe Jamie could use some help. Nate isn’t present, Beard says something about being stuck in the boot room with the handle broken off. Ted knows Beard well enough to know exactly what happened, but now isn’t the time to comment. Beard has both punished and protected Nate, and there are more pressing things at hand. You, for starters. And Jamie, with murder on his mind. 
“Jamie,” Ted says, “I’m gonna need you to listen real good. I don’t know your girl very well, but I do know she has a sweet spirit. You go out there guns blazing, and it’s just going to validate every crushing thought she has about herself.” 
Jamie opens his mouth to speak but Ted puts up a hand. “Doesn’t matter that you’re not mad at her, she’ll take it that way. Things like this are tricky. You want her to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are 100% on her team.” Ted stops. “You are on her team, ain’t you?”
Jamie stares at him. “You think I fucking blame her for that prick mistaking her bein’ nice for flirting?” 
Ted shrugs. “She ever told you ‘bout her last boyfriend? Matter of fact, she ever tell you about any of her other relationships? You might be surprised what kinda boys are out there pretending to be men. Now, I gotta go make sure she’s gonna be ok. You,” he points to Roy, “don’t let Jamie out till he’s calmed down. You,” he points to Beard, “go figure out a way to get Nate unstuck from the boot room.”
Beard says, “consider it done, Coach,” and Roy just grunts. 
Ted is gone, and it’s just the three of them and their separate manifestations of their anger. 
—
Your head is still on your knees when you hear footsteps approaching. Sam has been sitting on his haunches, two feet away from you. Close enough so you’re not alone, far enough to give you some space. 
The footsteps make your head jerk up. The fear in your eyes is enough to break Ted’s heart. He’s never had a daughter, but he’ll be damned if this isn’t how a father must feel. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, crouching down, voice soft. “What can I do you for?”
His voice is just reminiscent enough of your own father’s that you launch yourself into his arms, crying. 
“Sh, sh, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” Ted says. You have a death grip on him. “Just let it out.”
You’ve almost completely cried yourself out when Ted says, “What do you want to say?”
You pull away and sit back on the curb, hand covering half your face. You shake your head. 
“It’s alright, darlin’. I’m not gonna hurt you. Just want to know what’s wrong so I can help.”
You choke out “Jamie,” and both Ted and Sam are surprised enough that neither of them know what to say. They wait for you to continue. 
A few more tears fall before you say, “I just love him so much. I don’t want to lose him. I need him to know that I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want it. I wasn’t flirting, I swear. He just kissed me out of nowhere and I can’t get rid of the feeling, I just can’t-” You start wiping your lips violently with the back of your hand. 
“Hey, hey listen- listen to me,” Ted says. You lower your trembling hand. You’re vaguely aware of the fact that your whole body is shaking. 
“None of this, and believe me when I do say ‘none,’ is your fault. Jamie ain’t like those other boys you were with. He knows who you are. You did nothing wrong. He’s hopping mad, sure, but not at you. His hearts in the right place. He loves you, and I’m pretty sure if you gave him half a chance, he’d love you forever. There’s nothing that’s going to change that.”
You’re beginning to register Ted’s words. You’re glad he and Sam are out here, and that you’re not alone. Vaguely, you hear the building door open from across the parking lot. There’s a different set of footsteps now, running ones, that come to a crashing halt in front of you. 
You flinch. 
You hear Jamie inhale jerkily and dare to look upward. 
He looks a mess, eyes red and hair mussed. He kneels down slowly to where you’re curled up. 
He doesn’t even know where to begin with you flinching, but by god every breath Nathan Shelley draws is just one closer to his reckoning. 
Jamie breathes out your name, and finally, finally, you make solid eye contact. He reaches for you, and you take his hand, letting him draw you into his lap.
He holds you and rocks back and forth, whispering into your hair while the others quietly get up and back away. 
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. It’s just you and me. I love you and I’ve got you.”
He’s got you, you tell your mind. 
Yes, your brain agrees, he’s got you and he loves you.
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ohmtoff ¡ 7 months ago
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Shots, shots, shots (Part 1)
Nick Sturniolo x Masc!OC
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Summary: Nick is most definitely not having fun at a frat party Madi dragged him to, but this boy who’s staring at him hungrily may help him to have a good time (or: a very cliche and very self-indulgent fic of Nick getting it on with a frat bro)
WC: 4.8k
Contains: college!AU, frat bro!oc, drinking games, making out
Disclaimer: no smut yet, smut is in the next part. not an american, idk anything ab frat culture and the american college system in general, so there’s gna be some inaccuracies. this is just based on the frat fics ive read and my own college experiences.
a/n: was supposed to be a one-shot but i suddenly wrote 10k words💀 although i know nothing ab frat culture, how my american friends describe it is basically like any faculty organization in an indonesian uni lmao so hope my knowledge of how those orgs work help this a slight bit. anyways hope you enjoyyy <333
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Nick is most definitely not having fun.
He frowns as he feels the bitter burn of his fifth (or was it sixth?) shot going down, tipping his head back to get it to go down easily, well and truly smashed at this point. Madi would be proud. Speaking of… he hasn’t seen his best friend since they arrived at the party, the girl pestering him for hours earlier in the day to come party with her. Madi is tired of listening about The Breakup, and to be honest, Nick is too, but he didn’t agree to come with Madi only to have his supposedly best friend ditch him at the door, leaving him alone at a frat party where he knows absolutely no one. Especially not just so she can run off and suck face with some junior.
Nick spies his best friend making out with a boy he doesn’t know, back to him through the haze of the crowd, barely visible in the shitty purple LED lighting, especially with everyone packed into the house like sardines, the place filled to over capacity so that no one can move without being pressed up against someone or another. Well, unless they are sticking to the wall like Nick currently is. And he’s about to go give his friend a piece of his goddamn mind when he hears the voice beside him, his irritation still visible on his face as he turns to look.
“Hey.” The boy is staring at him with an intensity that is disarming, dark eyes set in an intense unwavering gaze as he looks, just enough light to make out the half-smile on the other boy’s face, only one corner of his mouth upturned slightly. The boy’s hair is half in his face, looking damp and mussed like he’s just stepped out of the shower. And Nick trails his gaze downwards, appreciating the other boy’s outfit, a black t-shirt with some obscure band logo, sleeves cut-off hastily, clearly homemade, the edges ragged, showing off the nice curves of the boy’s shoulders, the definition of his upper arms from hitting the gym obvious. All thrown over a pair of oversized black jeans.
The other boy is looking at him like he wants him, and Nick is too far gone to stop the delicious pit of arousal churning in his stomach, the euphoria going straight to his head, making him dizzy with desire. He’s not the type Nick usually goes for, in fact, the boy is the exact opposite of his ex, but that doesn’t stop his body from screaming fuck me now. “I haven’t seen you around before. Transfer or something?”
The question makes Nick give out a little snort of laughter. “No, not at all. Just not my scene.”
“Oh?” The boy raises an eyebrow questioningly, his tone clearly teasing as he slides in closer to avoid another boy trying to make his way past the two of them squeezed into the corner. Nick inhales sharply as the boy moves in closer, trapping him, his back pressed up against the wall with no room to go back further, the other boy bringing his arms up to brace against the wall, forming a makeshift barrier around Nick, casually caging him in. As he does, the smell of beer hits his nose, a smell he normally despises, but it’s mixing with something the boy is wearing underneath, something sweet and woody, and the combination is fucking intoxicating. “And what would be your scene then?”
He ignores the question, not wanting to say that maybe his scene is in his room, pitifully stuffing himself with fast food and crying into Madi’s shoulder about his ex months after the breakup, choosing instead to shift the topic, mumbling.  “You smell like shitty ass beer.”
“Shit, sorry.” The boy relaxes his arms, his face softening into a sheepish apologetic look that Nick finds almost endearing, backing up a step so that he’s not so deep into Nick’s personal space, and Nick takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heartrate. “Got doused with beer earlier when they were spraying it into the crowd.”
“Seems like a waste of alcohol if you ask me.” The unexpected response makes the other boy’s eyes go wide, a moment of silence before he bursts out into raucous laughter.
“Yeah, shit, it probably is.” Nick hates that his breath hitches automatically as the other boy runs his hand through his black hair, shaking his head in apparent exasperation, looking unfortunately all too attractive in the process. “Imagine how many people could be more drunk than they already are if they hadn’t wasted all that beer.” The boy shoots him a grin, which he finds himself returning, or at least he hopes he is.
“So how did you get here?”
“My best friend, Madi. She dragged me here.” Nick admits, a slight eye-roll accompanying the statement. “Otherwise there’s no way I would come to a party in a dump like this. Complete shithole. Floor is disgusting, and the whole place looks like it’s going to collapse in on itself if they throw another couple of parties.” He finds himself having to yell to be heard, the music playing far too loud, the bass turned up so that he can quite literally feel the floorboards vibrating underneath his feet.
To Nick’s surprise and appreciation, the other boy appears to take an interest in listening to him, craning in closer and cocking his head to the side to hear better. His ex was an asshole that wouldn’t bother to make sure he was comfortable at parties, even after knowing Nick didn’t love large crowds, preferring to hang out with small groups of people instead. Plus points.  “Oh, I know Madi, met her at a general ed class last semester. She’s also friends with one of the frat bros here, I think. Nate. Anyways, enough about your friend. I haven’t even gotten your name yet.”
“It’s Nick.”
“Nick.” The other boy repeats it, long and drawn out as he rolls the sound around in his mouth, and the thought of the other boy saying his name as encouragement flashes in his head, mentally kicking himself for even thinking about blowing this complete stranger already within ten minutes of meeting. It’s the alcohol talking, definitely the alcohol. He desperately tries to repeat it to himself and believe it as he watches the other boy bite his lower lip in thought. Fuck. Yeah, so maybe it isn’t the alcohol making him want this boy. Maybe it’s the fact that he hasn’t been fucked since The Breakup. Which was 3 months ago. Nick scowls. Fuck Madi for telling him he needs to get laid, and double fuck Madi for being right.
“And yours?”
“Evan. My name’s Evan.” The name sounds familiar, but Nick can’t quite place it, putting aside the feeling for now, instead choosing to concentrate on his plan of perhaps getting laid tonight. Which shouldn’t be hard considering the way Evan is looking at him right now. Like he wants to ravish Nick. With maybe a touch of possessiveness. Nick doesn’t mind the possessiveness, as long as they don’t go overboard. Possessive makes for a good fuck.
He gives in.
I’m here already, might as well have a good time.
He turns on the flirtiest smile he has, his lips curling into a natural irresistible pout as he keeps talking, his hand coming up to brush Evan’s arm, his fingertips lightly grazing the other boy’s bicep. Very obvious, very forward. No one would ever accuse Nick of being subtle, especially when it comes to getting what or who he wants. “Well, Evan, since this does seem to be your scene and not mine, what would you say to being responsible for me having a fun time tonight?” The words have the desired effect, Nick tracing the tightening of the other boy’s jaw with his eyes, pleased at the barely veiled show of restraint.
Nick feels a shiver of anticipation run up his spine as Evan leans forwards, tilting his head downwards as he speaks, the other boy’s hot breath against his earlobe, pressed in so close that Nick can feel the ghost of a touch from Evan’s lips. He isn’t able to prevent the gasp from escaping when he feels the other boy’s tongue, teeth giving him a quick nip. “Well, tonight’s your lucky night, baby. I am at your service. For anything you want.”
The words make Nick bristle, bringing both palms up to push at the other boy’s chest, startling Evan into stepping back off-balanced. “I don’t like being called baby.” He mutters. “Don’t do that.” His ex had called him baby, as an insult, somehow managing to insinuate every time that Nick was too demanding, too high maintenance, turning the word into a mocking reprimand each time. “My ex used to use that.” He pauses a beat. “Not in a good way.”
“Oh, shit.” Evan frowns, his eyebrows drawn together giving almost a menacing look, and Nick feels a sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought of Evan losing interest. Maybe I came off too strong. “Your ex sounds like an asshole.” He lets out the breath he doesn’t even realize he was holding, a ripple of relief running through him. “And all I meant…” Nick’s breath catches as the other boy slides his hand underneath his chin, tilting it upwards as he speaks. “…is that you look pretty. Delicate. Like someone who deserves to get everything they want.”
Everything they want.
The words make Nick flush, the heat crawling up the base of his neck, stinging his cheeks. I want you. And his first instinct is to throw all caution to the wind and regret his decisions tomorrow morning after the alcohol has worn off, when there isn’t a buzz in his veins making him want to throw himself at this boy. And he desperately wants it to be just a physical thing, after all, he doesn’t really know this guy. He could turn out to be some weirdo psychopath for all he knows, but damn it if it doesn’t make him feel good that this boy thinks he deserves everything. But before he can open his mouth and resign himself to his fate, a hand appears on Evan’s shoulder, accompanied by the loud voice of another boy.
“Hey, bro.” The hand on Evan’s shoulder becomes an arm pulling the taller boy into a half-headlock of sorts. “Not like you to hide away in the corner for so long. Don’t you miss being the life of our party?” The boy turns slightly, catching a glimpse of him, and Nick becomes acutely aware that he’s probably gaping. “Oh, I see now.” The boy gives him a salacious and knowing wink, casting a sidelong glance at Evan. “You must be the reason our leader here is hiding instead of greeting the guests.”
Leader?
The new boy smiles at him, bringing his free hand up in a little wave of acknowledgment. “I’m Nate, by the way.” Nate squints, giving him a careful once-over, and Nick feels like squirming, getting the distinct feeling that he is being sized up though he doesn’t know for what. “You’re Nick, aren’t you?” Nate grins excitedly at the realization. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Madi.”
Nick furrows his brows thinking how does he know Madi and why Madi’s talking about him, getting more lost within the conversation by the second. “Madi said he’d be your type, and it looks like he was right. Fuck.” Nate lets out a string of profanity, “Fuck me, Evan. That means I owe her fifty bucks. So really, fuck you.” Nate narrows his eyes at Evan, who isn’t even trying to hide his mirth, chortling at his friend’s distressed expression. “Unless, you two dickwads set me up.”
Evan shakes his head. “No, man, I didn’t even know who he was until he gave me his name.”
“Fuck.” Nate lets out one last swear in a drawn out sigh, smiling fondly at Evan. “Well, I hate to interrupt the overwhelming sexual tension between you two, but I do think our new president should give a speech at our first party of the year.”
“President?” Nick echoes the word without meaning to, the sound of loud buzzing in his ears drowning out the sound of everything else around them, noting the shit-eating grin on Evan’s face that is getting wider by the minute.
“Yeah, president of Chi Alpha Omega. You know, the ones hosting this party right now.”
Nick can feel the color draining from his face, accompanied by some wooziness in his head. Madi had told him about the president of ΧΑΩ before, about how he “got around” quite frequently, always with someone new every other weekend. And apparently in no short supply of people who want to casually hook-up with him. In short, a player through and through. And Nick can’t tell whether he’s disappointed that Evan is probably not interested in any type of relationship or just excited that the boy is likely a really good fuck. Or both.
But none of that really even matters because he had literally called Evan’s house a shithole.
Fuck.
Evan winks at him before turning to Nate. “Yeah, I can definitely say a few words. And by the way, Nick here thinks we should probably stop spraying beer into the crowd to hype up the party.” He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the overly serious and solemn expression on Evan’s face as he says that. “Apparently we’ve been wasting alcohol when we could be using it to get everyone even more drunk.” Nick wants to sink into the floor at the other boy’s next words, hoping desperately that the ground can swallow him up.
“And he’s also made me aware of the fact that apparently, we live in a shithole.”
Nate’s eyes go wide. Nick wants to kill himself.
“Well, not exactly a lie.” Nate laughs, clearly bemused by his worried expression. “We’ve been trying to get administration to move us out of this shithole for ages. They just won’t do it. So we figure if we throw a few extra ragers this year, and this dumpster fire of a house finally breaks, maybe they’ll consider letting us have a different building for the frat house.”
“Wait, so…” Nick says the words slowly, his head slow to catch up, not quite believing what he’s hearing. “…you all actually want to break this house. Like that’s your actual plan, and I’m not stuck in some weird-ass twilight zone time warp imagining this.”
“Correct.” Evan nods.
“You all are fucking crazy.”
“Correct.”
“Sooo, about that speech Evan?” Nate asks, stealing another glance at Nick. “Any time soon? Or am I assuming that you’re gonna be busy for the next hour or so?”
The implication makes him half-cringe on the inside. Is it that obvious?
“Yeah, of course, now is fine.” And then Nick feels the other boy’s hand around his, Evan’s fingers settling to interlock with his naturally as if they belong there, warm and inviting. A little overly warm, probably the alcohol. But it feels nice, gives him the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest for the first time in a long time. “You’re coming with me, baby.” Nick wants to protest the nickname, but he isn’t given the opportunity to, finding himself being dragged along by the taller boy, weaving through the crowd of people deftly, trying to keep close to the other boy’s back, his free hand reaching out to grab the untucked edge of Evan’s t-shirt. The other boy heads to the kitchen, passing by the crowd that is busy dancing, flirting, and Nick reminds himself to yell at Madi tomorrow, spotting his best friend out of the corner of his eye still attached to the face of a guy.
The kitchen is slightly less crowded, the only people slipping in and out to grab more beer or shots, the entire kitchen counter covered with half empty alcohol—rum, vodka, gin, whiskey. God, how much booze do they have?  Evan doesn’t let go of his hand as he opens the fridge, rummaging around before finally coming up with another handle of vodka. The taller boy just shakes his head as Nate gives him a questioning look. And then Nick follows as he is dragged along again, making their way back to the living room, heading straight towards the epicenter of all the noise in the house. Evan finally lets go of his hand, and Nick feels a twinge of concern as he watches the other boy climb up onto the ping pong table, ignoring the cry of protests from the people playing beer pong. No way he’s sober enough for this.  Somehow Evan’s voice is louder than the music, his voice floating above the noise.
“Hey, we having fun tonight?” The cheers and hoots rise up from the crowd, Evan clearly reveling in the attention, waving his arms to tell everyone to pump up the noise, and they do. After a minute or so of cheering, the other boy puts his finger to his lips in a shushing motion, quieting the crowd.
“Here’s to the first party of many this year for Chi Alpha Omega. As the president for this year, hope to see all of you underclassmen at rush in the spring.” Evan grins, and Nick hates that the other boy is so charismatic, everyone in the room turning to hang on to his every word. “And to kick off a good night, how about yours truly start off a round of body shots?” The crowd hoots and hollers. “First up, my newest friend, Nick.” He feels himself outright blushing this time, Evan looking downwards to wink at him, some of the people in the front of the crowd turning to stare.
He startles as Evan jumps down from the ping pong table, landing unevenly, grabbing on to his shoulder for balance before scooting back on to the table to take a seat, his legs hanging off the edge. “How about it, baby?”
And he’s about to object, but his mind goes completely blank as Evan crosses his arms over his chest, gripping the hem of his t-shirt in order to pull it up over his head, the other boy’s arm muscles tightening. The skin above Evan’s jeans comes into view first, the white band of the other boy’s Calvin Klein boxers just peeking out from the top, a sharp contrast from the smooth tan of Evan’s skin on top and the black of his jeans on the bottom. Nick can see a glimpse of the other boy’s hip bones, sharp and defined, and his gaze trails further upward to his belly button, abs slightly visible as Evan moves, and all the way up to the other boy’s chest.
But it’s the tattoo that makes Nick stop breathing.
It’s intricate, clearly well done and by a tattoo artist that cares about how the finished product looks, a revolver with its barrel pointing downwards, the tip disappearing under the white of the other boy’s boxers. And Nick doesn’t think he’s ever had a specific thing for guns. But fuck. Because he wants to think that he’s better than this, better than having the only thought running through his head being it’s pointing to his cock. And the overwhelming urge to find out just exactly how true it is.
“You’re up, baby.” The words make Nick snap his glance upwards, tearing his gaze away from the ink on the other boy’s skin, the embarrassment flitting through him as he realizes how long he had been staring, a fact that had not gone unnoticed by Evan, who is grinning at him, definitely amused. He’s already poured the shot, messily spilling at least two shot’s worth of vodka on the ping pong table, and Nick experiences a stroke of utter insanity, the words coming out before he can stop them.
“You should probably clean that up.”
“Hmm, maybe later.”
“It’s going to get sticky.”
“Maybe I like sticky.”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that the whole scene is probably bizarre as fuck, talking about cleaning while the whole room is waiting for him to take a shot off a boy he doesn’t even know. But Nick feels as if he’s in a haze, entirely blocking out the rest of the room as Evan crooks a finger at him, motioning for him to get closer, the other boy’s legs parting on the table, stretching apart to give him room to fit in between, and Nick is uncomfortably aware of Evan’s jeans, the material stretching over the other’s boy’s thighs, even tighter now that Evan is sitting.
“Come.”
He comes.
The shiver of arousal runs through him as he gets closer, coming up to the edge of the table, Evan winking at him as he squeezes Nick’s sides slightly with his thighs, making the feeling curl deliciously in his groin. And the other boy lies down slowly, not breaking eye contact with Nick as he does, and god help him, because it only makes the outline of the other boy’s abs deepen. Fuck. The shot glass is placed right over Evan’s belly button, wobbling as the other boy breathes in and out, and Nick winces as Evan starts off a chant of encouragement.
“Drink, drink, drink.”
Fuck it, it’s just one shot.
He doesn’t try to overthink it, leaning down with his head to clumsily grasp the shot glass with his mouth, intending on throwing his head back and downing the vodka all at once. He tells himself it doesn’t mean anything as he braces his palms against the other boy’s thighs, enjoying the feeling of muscle underneath his hands. But he’s not used to the motion, not able to use his hands, and he ends up spilling half of it, feeling Evan’s thighs tense around his waist as the cold liquid hits the other boy’s bare skin, some of the vodka settling into the crevices of Evan’s abs, already starting to slide off his body.
Nick doesn’t know why he does it.
But the next instant, his tongue is on Evan’s skin, feeling the other boy tense as he does it, licking the rest of the vodka off of the other boy, the feeling of burning still in the back of his throat from the half he does drink, dipping his tongue in to run along the grooves of Evan’s abs, the slight saltiness of the other boy’s sweat mixing with the taste of alcohol. And he’s pressing half-kisses, half sloppy licks against the other boy’s skin, the tips of his fingers reaching upwards from where they’re resting against Evan’s thighs to brush against the boy’s sharp hipbones, an inch or so above his jeans.
As he dips his tongue into his belly button, Evan bucks his hips upwards, the wanting movement making the arousal go straight to his cock. And he tells himself it’s because he’s trying to clean every last bit of vodka off of Evan’s body, but it isn’t the alcohol giving him a high as he runs the tip of his tongue slowly down the barrel of the gun tattoo that Evan has, the thought of going further and further down until he reaches the other boy’s cock making him hot and dizzy. The thought of Evan holding his head down and tugging on his hair as he gives the other boy a blowjob. Further, further. Evan squirms as he licks his way downwards over the exposed skin, and Nick wonders if it tickles, his nose already nudging the edge of the other boy’s boxers.
A bad fucking idea.
And he’s just about to pull away, the feeling of regret mixed with horror hitting him as he surfaces from his reckless decision, half-aware that they’re still in a very public room for the first time since Evan had told him Come, when he feels it. Evan half-hard against his palm, his hand accidentally brushing too close to the other boy’s inner thighs as he tries to move back, and before he can process that fact, everything around him moves.
Nick yelps as he feels Evan’s hands on the back of his thighs, dangerously close to his ass, and he’s suddenly being lifted up into the air, his legs coming up to wrap themselves around the other boy’s waist, his hands grabbing at Evan’s shoulders to balance himself. He vaguely hears the sound of catcalls coming from the crowd, his head falling forward, his face buried into the crook of the other boy’s neck, the smell of beer in Evan’s hair and that smell of wood and vanilla. A few quick strides, and Nick finds his back up against the wall for the second time tonight, Evan’s hips pressed into him, grinding him up against the wall as he plants kisses against Nick’s neck.
The other boy is definitely completely hard now, the feeling against his thigh each time Evan moves his hips making the arousal tighten in Nick’s groin. And it’s a fleeting thought, that he is grateful for wearing a white tank top, giving Evan free access, the other boy’s tongue darting out to run itself along the top of Nick’s collarbones, sucking likely-to-be-hickeys into his skin hungrily.
His fingers curl themselves into the other boy’s hair for purchase, needing something to grab onto as he writhes in Evan’s embrace, his eyes closed, his breath coming out ragged. An unbidden moan comes forth as he feels Evan sneak his hands underneath his tank top, the other boy’s fingers splayed against the skin at his waist, his thumbs digging into the spot just above his hipbones. Evan’s hands feel hot against his skin, burning into him more than he thought possible, and Nick’s eyes flutter open only to remember that everyone is still there, that they’re not alone.
“W-wait,” The words come out weakly in between little pants and far too soft for Evan to hear anyway, and Nick wonders if the idea of the other boy fucking him against the wall in front of a crowd of people should turn him on as much as it does. Fuck.
“Get a fucking room!”
The loud jeer seems to snap Evan out of it, the other boy stopping his attack against Nick’s neck long enough for him to catch his breath. Most of the room has gone back to whatever they were doing before, and it’s nearly impossible to pick out whoever had yelled it. “Don’t mind if I do.” Evan grins at him, not waiting for a proper response. “Hold on.” Nick just manages to get his arms around Evan’s shoulders before the other boy starts moving, hoisting him up slightly to get a better grip on the underside of his thighs, Evan’s chin nestled into his shoulder, the other boy’s breathing hot on his neck.
The sounds of the party slowly start to fade away as they ascend the stairs to the second floor, the stairway narrow and not lit, and Nick winces as he is jostled against the wall a few times on their way up, Evan’s steps not as steady he would have hoped. All he can hear now is the other boy’s breathing, slow and deep, the sound comforting, and Nick breathes in and out to match the other boy’s. I wonder if Madi was right, and I’m his type.  And he’s sure that he’s Evan’s type physically, the whole display downstairs has convinced him of that, but for the first (okay, maybe second or third) time tonight, he has the niggling suspicion that he might like it if he is Evan’s type for more, the way the other boy puts him at ease so naturally and effortlessly perhaps giving him more butterflies than he’d care to admit.
His mind unwillingly flashes him scenes on what it would be like dating Evan. Would he like his eggs scrambled or poached? What shows would they binge together? Would Evan show him off to his frat brothers?
Evan licks a stripe behind his ear where he’s most sensitive. Ah, fuck it. Who cares about dating? Nick knows he’s going to get fucked till he forgets his own name tonight.  
tags: @thenickgirl @mybelovednick @sukiipjs
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aphroditelovesu ¡ 1 year ago
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Yandere Cassian Headcanons (Romantic)
''You are everything I ever wanted and I will protect you with everything in me.'' — Cassian.
❝ ⭐ — lady l: Do I have a soft spot for him? I have. Can you blame me? Probably not. Ah, I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of murder, jealousy, unhealthy relationships.
❝ ⭐pairing: yandere!cassian x gender neutral!reader.
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Cassian is very passionate and intense, his feelings are overwhelming and he needs to vent them in one way or another. Usually he does it by fighting, but he needs love. He needs you.
You are everything he ever wanted. It doesn't matter if you're his mate or not, Cassian is completely in love with you and he only wants you.
He can't remember ever wanting someone as much as he wants you. Cassian just knew that he loved you, that he needed you in his life and he wouldn't stop until he got it.
Cassian is a lovesick puppy, basically. He will follow you everywhere with passionate eyes, his wings spreading menacingly to anyone who dares to approach you.
He has no qualms about eviscerating alive anyone who dares to look at you the wrong way. You are all that matters and he will never let you be hurt. And anyone foolish enough to try will regret it very quickly.
He will do anything for you. Anything. Just order and it's yours. Do you want an expensive shoe? It's yours. Do you want a Spring Court rare flower? He'll sneak in there and get it for you. Everything, anything, just ask him.
To say he is overprotective is an understatement, Cassian is completely obsessive when it comes to your safety. Anything that shouldn't be there will be cause for concern and murderous rage. Even if it's just a broken nail, if you weren't the one who broke it, you can be sure that someone will die.
Cassian can't help but be so overprotective, he just wants to take care of you. It's his Illyrian instincts screaming at him to rip apart anyone who poses a threat to you. He's your bodyguard, basically.
He is your biggest fan. If you do anything, he will be rooting for you. If he could, he would wear a t-shirt with your face showing how much pride he has for you. He also constantly seeks your attention and approval.
Cassian would love to train you if you want, although he knows it's dangerous, he wants you to be able to protect yourself if he's not around. He would never forgive himself if something happened to you because he didn't want to teach you how to defend yourself.
Like all males, Cassian is very possessive and jealous and this is nothing new. He gets jealous very easily and generally acts petty about it. In the blink of an eye, he'll be at your side, pulling you into his embrace and staring at whoever made him deathly jealous. No one will take you away from him. No one.
He wants you to be happy with him. That's all he asks. He does not deserve? After all the shit he's been through, Cassian feels like he deserves to be happy and he knows he can only be happy with you. You are everything to him.
Cassian can be called a brute and, although he can often act like that, he is a teddy bear to you. He loves to hold you, hide you in his wings and just be by your side. He needs to always be touching you and not always in a sexual way, he just needs to have confirmation that you are real.
His touches are always soft and gentle on you, as if he's scared of breaking you. Cassian would never forgive himself if he ended up hurting you.
Cassian is a big softie for you. He would never hurt you and would always put you above everything and everyone, including his own family. You are everything to him, his life, his motivation and his reason for breathing. He would die and kill for you in a heartbeat. Cassian just wants to be loved and you are everything he loves, so don't abandon him. He wouldn't react well to that.
He would never force you to stay with him, but Cassian wouldn't let you go. He can't lose anyone else and he won't. You are his and you will always be his.
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yuri-is-online ¡ 1 year ago
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Congratulations on your 500 Followers!🎉 Hope you will grow more! I would like to choose the number 1 prompt, "Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them."
For Jack, Sebek and Silver please
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1. Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them.
Thank you very much friend! I really hope this is to your liking, and I really hope that you continue to find things that entertain you posted to this account.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, mutual pining, I find Jack really hard to write for because of his whole soulmate thing but please know he loves Yuu so fucking much he is in pain, Sebek thinks he's slick, and Silver is oblivious to a lot. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.
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Jack
There is a distressing lack of fluffy tails within your line of sight in the ballroom this evening. A feeling has been growing within you these past few months, similar to a crush but so intense it makes you want to fall over with the strength of your longing. You have no idea if Jack feels the same, he has continued to treat you with the same degree of feigned indifference he's held you at since the day you met.
And now he has left you all alone in the middle of a ballroom full of people that very much aren't him. Well that's how you feel it's not like you made any sort of concrete agreement to meet up beyond the typical first year friend group "hey let's all get together" texts that always populated your group chat when the school hosted events like this. You suppose your feet were always going to hurt at an event like this, but you had been hopeful that your heart wouldn't ache as well.
"Come here often?" A strange strangled voice asks, clearly trying to break the ice and not at all serious. You are both leaning against a pillar after all.
"Not really." Your stomach is still firmly in your throat, this person is massive and you see no sign of the comforting ears and tail of a wolf. "You?"
"Nope." And though neither of you make much a move to keep the conversation moving, you don't move to leave either despite the growing awkward aura around you both. You look out across the ballroom, eyes drawn towards Leona desperately searching for a sign. Your strange new friend takes note, he also seems to be looking at Leona. "Not afraid of staring are, you?"
"Is that what it looks like?" You ask slightly distressed.
"Most people just tuck tail and run when they see Savanaclaw." He almost sounds disgusted, but you can't quite tell with who. "I'm surprised you can stand to look."
"I've got good friends in Savanaclaw." You huff. Sure there's a chance this guy doesn't mean anything by what he's saying, but this is NRC. There is a much bigger chance that he does.
"Oh? Like who, Jack Howl?" This bitch-
"No." You cross your arms. "Friends don't make you want to explode."
"... I'm sorry?" The strange man apologizes, and it really does sound like he means it if the way he's scratching the back of his head is anything to go by. Unfortunately you have been sitting on these stupid feelings all night and really need them out in front of someone who isn't Grim, seven knows he doesn't care.
"Seriously like- wolf beastmen have only one soulmate? Forever? So it doesn't matter how I feel I just- never have a chance like ever. Ever ever ever, he's just always going to see me as some annoying hanger on- well maybe not annoying because I actually put in an effort you know?" The captive audience doesn't nod but that's ok, you just keep charging on. "And I know he appreciates that because his tail wags every time one of us do and it's so cute to watch."
"'m not cute."
"But that just doesn't matter he's got somebody already he just hasn't met them yet and I don't even know the right music to try and get rid of my feelings to. It's not like I can just ask him out and hope rejection will make the feelings go away because there is just no way he would be like in anyway nice about it-"
"What if you were that person though?" The stranger's voice is so strangled it's almost recognizable, and it successfully snaps you out of your stupor.
"But I'm not." You want to scream it, but it comes out so very quietly. "He was really clear about that, he'd just know."
"I'm stupid. I mean he is. Stupid. And you're human, maybe the feeling's different because there's a chance for rejection. It's not like humans always have soul mates." A dull silence falls over you both. Unease working it's pesky way back into both of your minds.
Not all humans have soul mates, but you most certainly do. Just... give him a moment, a ball is not his scene. But later when you're all alone, traipsing your way through the woods towards that lonely cottage there will be a wolf primed to strike. Just why did he ever worry Jack wonders, glad for the mask hiding his grin, he knew he only needed to be lucky once.
Sebek
"Just what is your opinion on Malleus anyway?" Sebek tells himself he is asking you this for safety reasons. It's a question he has asked you before, just louder and with force enough to "blow down a barn door" to quote Epel, but this damn mask had a mockingly fitting enchantment that pitched his voice down and quieted it the more he tried yelling. He almost sounded like he was impersonating Jade, something that would likely deeply amuse the strange upperclassmen and seems to have a soothing effect on you. Not that he was jealous!
"Tsunotarou and I are bros." Yuu puts up what Master Lilia had told him was a "peace sign" and "extremely cute" but makes him seethe with rage and actual jealousy, not whatever that sickening feeling he'd had before was.
"You are not." The mask makes his dull roar sound like a middle aged mother gleefully scolding her friend for buying a particularly saucy pair of heels and not the justified rage of a royal retainer. "If you are bros just what does that make you to his retainers hmmmm?" That makes Yuu falter for some reason, mouth moving before the words are fully formed like they are considering hiding something.
That scares him. Because it compromises his lord's safety. Obviously.
"Well, I think Lilia's super cool." An objectively true statement human. A bit sparse on the praise but then what use would Master Lilia have for a human's praise? It would be better spent on him anyway. "He's really smart and happy to talk about what he knows, even if he lies about things sometimes, gotta have fun with yourself sometimes I guess. Silver is a bit dense, but he tries so hard you have to respect him for it." Again Sebek finds himself agreeing with Yuu, but the praise stings for some reason. It's minimal, but he supposes Yuu's avoidance of addressing the issue- not that they are he supposes, they may have stopped speaking but he doesn't think they intend to not give an opinion about him.
"And Sebek?" But he prods for it anyway because he wants it. He knows himself, he is not exactly ashamed of himself but Sebek knows you would never tell him the full truth of your opinion to his face. He can't even call Yuu by their name, why should they-
Sigh, like a besotted Princess in a fairy tale, play with the edges of their cape like a Prince questioning his propriety in voicing his desires but unable to swallow their emotion-
"He's really something else." You mean it, not that you are too sure why you feel like telling this stranger your deepest secret or why you chose to phrase it like a complaint. But the compliment suits Sebek like that you think. And the stranger doesn't stop you. "Knights are sort of out of fashion where I'm from but I've always liked them, and Sebek's the perfect image of one you know? I just wish there was some room in his heart for someone other than Malleus... not that I think his devotion's a bad thing y'know? I just- want to be treasured by a knight too."
"Just a knight?" The stranger asks. "Silver's there too I suppose."
"Nah he's not really my type." You shrug. "I like my guys a little pathetic. Look-" You barely notice the familiar way the stranger splutters as you bow to signal your exit. "I gotta go get Grim before he lights the place on fire, if you see Sebek tell him I'm looking for him? I want to dance with him at least once I just know he's good at it." And with that they're gone leaving an extremely competent and not at all pathetic thank you very much! Flustered mess of a man behind them.
Silver
"Oh hello Prefect." You have no idea who this student is but it is not unusual for people to know who you are given everything that's happened at this stupid school since you accidentally enrolled. "Nice to see you are enjoying yourself, the rolls are really good." And he is not judging you for the amount of bread you have in front of you so as far as you are concerned he can stay.
"They really are." You nod sagely, offering your new friend some of your hoard which he happily accepts as you both turn towards the ballroom to people watch. "I shouldn't be surprised at how good the food is, but somehow I always am." The stranger nods ruefully.
"I know what you mean. After eating so much of fa- Lillia's cooking you forget what things are supposed to taste like sometimes." Oh so this guy is in Diasomnia then? You'll have to compliment Tsunotarou later, this guy is super polite.
"Yeah I can see that, it makes feel bad for Silver sometimes what with how close those two are." You continue munch on your bread, too caught up in the fluffiness of it to notice how the "stranger" pauses, a thought forming in his mind he is sure to regret later but is unable to fully resist.
To long is human, which he is, painfully so.
"Do you think about Silver often?" He hopes he sounds playful, you fluster, looking the man up and down wondering if maybe Lilia has decided to alter his appearance to tease you some.
"More often than I should." Even if this is Lilia, it's not like anyone can really mock you for this can you? It's a Masquerade Ball, you're allowed to spill your guts to a stranger and reasonably expect nothing to come of it. Hell, just because this guy's in Diasomnia doesn't mean he'll say anything. "He's hard to ignore you know?"
"Not really." Silver picks at the bread, half hoping you will drop the topic, half agonizing about how to feel if you do. "He... doesn't have the best reputation in our dorm. People think he's too intense."
"Hmmm." You can see why, people who lack facial expressions often find themselves failing to express their intent. "That doesn't bother me." Oh he could practically soar, his whole body straightens in pride when you say that. "Silver is one of the few people I feel truly safe and... well sometimes I feel cherished around him. But I don't want to put pressure on him since we aren't even really friends I don't think."
"Why wouldn't you be?" He is deeply confused, he knows Lilia's advice is always coached in jokes but Silver didn't think the flowers he asked his animal friends to find would hinder his progress too badly. You were even wearing them tonight, it was how he found you, so it's not like you hated them... right? "I- He cares about you, I mean you know that right?"
"Maybe." Is all you say, eyes looking for someone in the crowd that's sat right next to you oh so painfully unaware- "But if I said I liked him would he even know what I meant? Would he still want to be friends... if..."
"Of course he would." Silver means it, but somehow he feels like he is missing something. The weight of your hand maybe, as you leave the "stranger" in search of... well he hopes "Silver" because if he knew you loved him, because he thinks that was what you meant maybe he wouldn't want to be just friends.
Best friends maybe? He'll have to ask Li- his father later.
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novantinuum ¡ 6 months ago
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Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 2
[Part 1] | [Part 2- You are here!] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]
~
Welcome back, folks! This is part 2 of my analysis series on the excellent @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. And for those who are tuning in fresh just now, please check out the first part- linked above- for more information on what these posts are all about. A lot of this analysis will build on what came previously.
We’re jumping right back into it.
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Question Two: What is Pink Steven’s whole deal in this comic, anyways?
Fans of this comic have long pointed out the oozing pink looming at the corner of many of the earlier comic panels when Steven and Jasper are fused, and the strong resistance Steven’s own gem seems to have to being Onyx at all.
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(Episode 1: Pages 17 & 18)
In some small way, even if he never states it any more bluntly than he does in the panels above, even Steven himself recognizes what’s going on. The reason their first fusion attempt doesn’t take is because half of him doesn’t want anything to do with Jasper at all.
And with the way Jasper speaks of fusion like it’s a tool to conquer, it’s not very hard to glean one of the reasons why.
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(Episode 2: Page 17)
Pink Steven, probably: And That Was My Cue To Say Yikes™
So, yeah. If you’ve read the comic, you know what happens after this. Steven allows Jasper to front for a while completely unhindered, genuinely curious about what she thinks he should be using his powers for. 
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(Episode 4: Page 3)
This decision isn’t inherently a wrong one- in fact, from one angle I think it shows a lot of mature openness to go to such lengths to try and understand someone you feel you don’t have much in common with. However, it IS a decision that Steven himself doesn’t seem to be in consensus over. And we know this because of how he physically responds to Jasper’s violent use of these powers, and what the speech bubble styles (there’s a lot of that scribbly pink lettering throughout this scene) can tell us about his mental state.
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(Episode 3: Page 7)
Like, just look at the top set of eyes while Jasper’s taking this fused body on a destructive spin around the woods while abusing his powers. They are alert, they are pink, and they are fucking ANGRY.
Not only that, but this part of Steven almost seems to be feeling a bit vindictive towards Jasper for the harm she’s caused him in the past, because he takes a minor bit of control for just a moment to summon that damned death barrier again, in a move that feels intensely like a silent threat to me.
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(Episode 3: Page 9)
Jasper confirms herself in Episode 4 that she did NOT consciously summon this barrier. So, it was Steven, then. Or at least… It was a part of Steven.
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(Episode 3: Page 10)
I feel like many readers contextualize this moment as Steven’s Gem half chastising Jasper for abusing his powers, but I personally read it as him calling out Steven himself- Steven as a whole- for allowing her to have full reign when he knew deep down he was in conflict over the idea of this whole fusion to begin with. The panels with the visualization of Steven’s human half struggling to crawl his way through this gummed up, frothy pink fusion mindscape while his other half takes the reigns immediately calls to mind the shot of Jasper struggling for control in Malachite’s mindscape in the season 2 episode "Chille Tid." 
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Not only that, but take a close look at human Steven’s eyes in that previous panel…
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They’re dulled, not drawn with full black irises like they usually are. 
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(Episode 3: Page 13)
And guess how full hybrid Steven is drawn just a few panels later, right after Pink Steven pulls away his power (“But you’re starting over just like I did!”) and Onyx splits? Those same, concerningly dulled eyes. Reminds me a lot of how he looked during both the cliffhanger of Change Your Mind and when his gem was glitching out in the movie. Given the context of the scene and the internal instability he was facing, I take this to mean that even his gem powers have briefly been nerfed, rendering him just as weak at this moment as he’d be without that gem at all. Hell, this whole page basically reads as him outright bargaining with this part of himself to summon one last panel to break Jasper’s fall.
“No. She can’t… She can’t… Please. She didn’t… didn’t… mean…”
So yeah, this episode in particular is the best glimpse we’ve gotten at the blatant opinions and feelings of this part of Steven so far… but quite frankly, I think the visual motif of the ominous pink goop oozing in at the edges of panels continues to be a powerful reminder of his constant presence. He’s watching things closely. I think the last thing he wants right now is for Steven as a whole to end up hurt by this again.
Basically, in my head, the ooze is Pink Steven’s “Mmmm don’t like that” signifier, lol.
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Question Three: What is up with Onyx’s fusion dream?
The beginning of Episode 7 starts with Onyx caught in the middle of a strange dream.
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(Episode 7: Page 1)
In my mind, this is absolutely one of those strange mixed-up fusion dreams- the subject and presentation influenced by the thoughts and memories of the individuals involved in said fusion. I think this dream is a combo of the memories from Rose that Steven can access through his gem and Jasper’s own fears/insecurities.
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You have a visualization of the corruption blast, an event that Rose experienced firsthand- thus, exists as dormant memory within Steven’s gem… and then I think Jasper’s component of this is the perspective, and how it compares to her experience in being struck down by a diamond attacking from the sky in much a similar way. Only, unlike Rose… she didn’t have a shield to hide behind.
Part of me kind of wonders if the emergence of this dream means Jasper’s den is IN the same place where Rose shielded her friends from the corruption blast- since usually, these memory related dreams that Steven and his fusions have are drawn out by being in the exact locations the memories took place. It’s kinda hard to say, though. In the one shot we have of Rose facing the corruption blast, the environment looks entirely different (way flatter, not reddened + weapons on the ground) than the environment in Onyx’s dream. In fact, the environment in Onyx’s dream looks far closer to this:
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The context given in the episode "A Single Pale Rose" shows that this is the Strawberry Battlefield right after the corruption blast itself. (An earlier shot shows the floating islands unique to this area.) You get the reddened soil and the weapons, like we see with what Onyx is dreaming, and the hills. 
So, I think our most likely possibilities are as follows: 
Rose defending the Crystal Gems from the corruption blast DID take place in this location, and the actual shot of her pulling up the shield is just colored a lot differently… perhaps to account for the intense glow of the Diamonds’ power.
The location visualized in Onyx’s dream is actually related to a Jasper-specific memory of the war, which is merely getting mixed up with the ambient memory of Rose seeing the corruption blast careening down at her.
No matter which of the two is true, the major crux of this dream is how it parallels Jasper’s experience of seeing Steven let loose his shattering strike from the sky. This is important, because it is yet another piece of evidence that she is truly, DEEPLY bothered by this moment, even if she often acts otherwise.
When Steven bluntly asks her why she’s not bothered by him shattering her, she deflects…
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(Episode 1: Page 7) 
…completely brushing over any and all feelings she may harbor over the matter to comment on how shattering is a completely normal thing for the old eras of Gemkind. However, later on, she admits that she felt upset when a part of Steven summoned that spiked barrier again while fused as Onyx.
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(Episode 4: Page 4)
This signals to me that processing this event is going to be a large part of Jasper’s arc in this comic. This is the capital ‘B’ Big Trauma that she is burying under all her false bravado and her tough exterior.
I think it is also important to note that we see a visualization of the battlefield from this dream once more, when Onyx’s own personality finally comes to the forefront for the first time. We’ll delve into this matter in the next discussion section.
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Look out for the next post in this series at 7am PST tomorrow. Farewell!
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formosusiniquis ¡ 10 months ago
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the bells, the joy (together in darkness)
Robin Buckley & Steve Harringto WC: 11963 | T | Tags/Themes: hivemind, Post S3, Scoops Troop Friendship, Nonbinary Steve and Robin, Blink and you miss it Steddie and Buckingham pre-slash AKA It's the Stobin Hivemind fic y'all! thank you very very very much to @spectrum-spectre for beta-ing this for me!!
Steve has never done LSD before. Which is the kind of statement his father would call ‘qualifying’ and ‘implies other kinds of wrongdoing, Stephan.’ Like the time he’d said he hadn’t smoked anything other than cigarettes that weekend. Apparently the ‘that weekend’ was a qualifier that got his very small pot stash flushed, and forced him into a second transaction with Eddie Munson in as many weeks.
Yeah okay maybe there were worse things, as far as punishments go.
Qualifying or not though, Steve has never done LSD. Not after the weekend he spent reading the supposedly true diary of a supposedly real teen that had been left on his bed. Like mother, like son, his father had sneered when he'd caught Steve curled up with it, like the whole plan to keep him from becoming pot-addled and destined for the gutter, or whatever, hadn’t relied on his gossipy nature.
It was mostly stupid, the book, but Steve figured it didn’t hurt to stick to weed. The stuff about that he knew for sure was totally fake.
Except now, he wishes he maybe knew a little bit more about what LSD was supposed to feel like. So he knows how to portion out blame for his current state. It’s currently 50% Upside-Down-Shit and 40% Russian-LSD-Shit and 10% Concussion-Shit, but if he’s being fair he’s blamed the Upside Down for about half of everything that’s gone wrong in his life since 1983. He’s willing to acknowledge that maybe the blame breakdown should be readjusted for this one.
“Hey Robin?” Trauma changes people, makes you want to stay close to the people who are changed the same way you are. Robin had shown up at Steve’s house the Monday after everything, trumpet case and duffle bag in hand. Apparently, she had walked from the school where she was supposed to be catching the bus to Band Camp, like she does every year. Apparently, when you undergo traumas heretofore unexperienced by any teen ever, Russian torture and flesh monsters, it’s okay to skip Summer Intensive to move in with your new best friend without telling your parents. Apparently, if you’re the kid that the Band Person, Director, wants to keep happy because in addition to the billion and seven languages you can play any instrument with a mouthpiece -- except trombone, slide positions, Steve had pretended he knew what that meant -- then you can just leave school to deal with your ‘mall fire smoke inhalation’ at your ‘aunt’s house’ instead. Apparently this is fine and Steve doesn’t need to worry about any angry former hippies beating down his dore because ‘what they don’t know won’t hurt them.’
So he can call out for Robin, without raising his voice because he knows she’s there. Somewhere in the house, the weight of it changed now that someone else is in it with him. He can call out even though he’s pretty sure she’s holed up in his Mom’s library on the ground floor, because he can feel her in the back of his brain and he knows she’ll hear him.
Drifting in an unfocused middle distance, he can imagine Robin. Curled up, she knows she’s been called for but isn’t in any hurry to comply, Steve will wait. He's fine with waiting, at least for the five minutes it will take for her to finish her chapter. He can see her, slotting her bookmark in place and sitting up straight for the first time in hours. She stretches, uncurls from the window seat that Steve also favors, gently sets the book down before letting a foot dangle and brush the floor to actually stand. And she leaves the library. She starts to feel closer, her presence looming stronger in his brain and Steve aware of himself in his own body. Then he hears her feet on the stairs.
“What is it, Dingus, did you know your Mom has a whole collection of French books? I’m in the middle of a bunch of lesbian short stories.”
“Yeah, she speaks it, not sure why.” He answers absently, “Have you ever done LSD?”
“I’ve had half a pot brownie and gotten way too high before.”
That’s not really the same thing, Steve thinks.
“I know it’s not really the same thing, Dingus, I was using it as a framework.” She flops facedown on the bed beside him, wiggling into what he’s started thinking of as her side. A lucky coincidence that she prefers to be tucked in on the side closest to the wall. Probably because she’s never seen anything burst out of one.
“Okay don’t think that, cause now I’m never going to be able to sleep again, I don’t think you’ve got enough space for us to pull your bed into the center of your room.”
He can see the way she imagines it. His bed, an island in the center of the room floating in a sea of plaid. Something about it is even more unnerving than if it stayed up against the wall.
“Not a good look.” He doubts anything will come from the walls again anyway, the Upside Down has proven to be surprisingly adaptive; it doesn't seem to attack in the same way twice. It makes it harder to be prepared, but he’s less worried about not being able to protect Robin in the middle of the night.
“Savior complex. Your mom has psychology books down there too. What does she even do?”
“Reads mostly. Do you think there’s anything down there about LSD?” He doesn’t think this is normal.
“Nice leap, Steve, I don’t think there are many drugs that link your brain with your coworker.” She says coworker, but he feels friend. Even that concept isn’t enough to describe the depth of warmth and affection that he feels wash over him as she thinks.
He lets the silence hang for a second, thinking but not sure what yet. His thoughts are slower to arrive and more jumbled in these early days post-concussion. His right hand curls, his fingers flex. First and third finger tap, then one and two, then none, one and two, and two, and none.
Robin’s knee jostles the bed as her leg bounces just a little.
“I think something else happened to us.”
“Wondered how long I’d have to tap your fingers for you before you got there with me.”
Read the rest on AO3
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avaelangel ¡ 1 year ago
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I am sad.
For unrelated reasons, but I am also concerned about what The Boys universe has in store for us. So here you go some random LiMoreou headcanons, because I want to feel something.
Warnings: cheese and no real time restraints.
They for sure do that couple hand-over-the-shoulders thing. Jordan does it while in male form, and Marie sort of adopts it when they're in the girl form. Jordan might be a bit startled about it at first, maybe even will change back just to be annoying. Marie will do one better and try to tackle them into bending down.
Jordan will probably try and teach Marie combat. She would be reluctant about it, but will come to a conclusion (maybe with Emma's help) that it's just a way for them to spend time together. It would be hard not to get distracted, though.
Marie at some point will try and get in between Jordan and something that threatens them in any way, regardless of what form they are in or who is the threat. This might happen when Jordan's parents come again.
They both would adopt each other's behaviors which would include being protective over Emma. Emma would be weirded out that Jordan cares, but will find it funny how them and Marie glare at any guy or girl that looks at her wrong.
Oh, there's no spooning rules for Marie and Jordan. Every night is different. Sometimes one of them can't really breath from the intensity of an embrace.
Jordan and Marie didn't have a shoulder to cry on growing up. After some time they both will realise that they have each other. I think, in both cases they will be good in soothing a crying love, but Jordan will think about solving the problem first and will need a moment to reaccess.
For sure would try to be the clingiest of couples if someone calls them gross.
Totally would have video game nights. Marie never had a console! Jordan has soooo much to show her.
First date in an arcade. Junk food, photobooth pictures and the most cursed plushies they could win for each other.
Jordan wears a lot of staples (t-shirts, tanks, turtlenecks of one color) which will find their way into Marie's closet. Maybe fun pants will immigrate too. Jordan will come stomping to raid Marie's closet then when that black sweatshirt with a skull disappears.
They are for sure going thrifting together. A million percent.
(this is a weird one, but) Jordan knows an abysmal amount of poetry from the days of chasing wrong people. When they start randomly reciting some Shakespear sonnet to Marie, she's so scared. But when Jordan does it to startle her again, Marie actually enjoys it. Jordan isn't bummed for long, because it starts a long conversation about literature.
Marie does indulge in Property Brothes marathons. She didn't get it first, but didn't say anything. Around season 6 she would actually understand the appeal.
That would spawn an idea to just hang out in paint stores and hardware stores.
Jordan for sure can put up a shelf and stuff. Once, they pulled out a fancy drill with a battery and Marie almost swoons for real.
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changbinsboobs ¡ 20 days ago
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Who's the most believer Christian church boy in skz🙏
Sooo i was unsure if i should read on whos most religious or whos specifically most cristian but i chose the second one and maybe someday ill t a broader reading about their religious views in general.
Chan - PoP, 4oS
I think he's pretty educated on christianity, maybe he had bible study or something when he was older. Don't see him caring much about it tho, i don't think christianity has stuck to him more than just basic info and i don't think he's active in any way other than every once and a while reading something about it if the occasion arises(?)
Lee Know - 4oC
Doesn't seem to agree with Christianity. There's a lot that doesn't make sense to him. I think he's brought up christian tho, like all the members i think.
Changbin - 9oC
I would say he's pretty christian, or should i rather say i think his family is rather christian and i think God comes up often in his conversations with his family and even friends. I don't see him specifically being really religious and an active christian but i think someone in his family might be an avid believer and i think he finds that really wholesome and has had a positive view of God in his upbringing and his life until now. I don't see him going to church or anything aside from keeping his mom or dad or aunt or whoever it is, company like once in a blue moon. In short, i don't think he himself is an avid believer but someone close to him is and he sees beauty in that and holds christianity in kind regards because he loves his relative. Thats that. He also values belief and the higher power! I think he has genuine belief and respect for that - which isn't bound strictly to christianity tho i think he finds value in that regardless of religion.
Hyunjin - 5oP, 7oW
I don't think he believes in God. I think he has been left dissapointed a few times and doesn't hold Christianity specifically in high regards. I think he would be pretty reserved around people like that and i think Christianity alltogether might be something slightly triggering for him?
Han - The Chariot
He seem really devoted actually. Idk how to interpret that energy and i don't wanna offend anyone cuz ya'll are such snowflakes but i get the vibe that he's pretty unstable? Ugh idk how to explain it but u sure have met people who are really desperate and in a mentally unstable space and then suddenly someone knocks on their door and to them it seems like a sign or whatever and because they're vulnerable they let themselves get brainwashed. Im not saying all that happened to him - i just wrote a scenario to kind of explain the vibe that im feeling. There is a sudden(feels fairly new), very intense devotion and practice being strictly followed and a certain anxiety accompanying it and i sense a pushing, forceful energy from him, as well as instability and a need for some. Which might be the reason for his sudden turn? Also i don't want to make any rash assumptions but just letting you know cults in korea are a thing...👀
Felix - 8oW
Very active and strong in his belief, doesn't even need any explaining, honestly his card didn't even surprise me.
Seungmin - 2oP
I would say he's pretty neutral. There's not much to say, he views himself as a Christian, he doesn't get much involved tho, he just does regular duties (idk what exactly but i guess getting married in a church or paying church tax or whatever) but not going to church every Sunday and reading the bible and praying before eating and stuff like that. He's just on the middle.
I.N - 7oS, Death
I think he either is very strict because he has church/god anxiety, or he HATES Christianity and has had very bad experience with it.
I swear if one of y'all complains im switching the anon feature off and blocking ur ass😀
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are-you-still-writing-that ¡ 2 years ago
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Yandere Alphabet: Illumi Zoldyck
He was kind of fun to write. HunterxHunter is a long love of mine, so to actually publish something for one of them, just feels amazing! (Though I´ve written ff before...)
Illumi Zoldyck
The first born son of the prestigious family of assassins. The guinea pig of his parents, who broke under their affection, who finds so little where he can possibly express himself in. Emotions beaten out of him, priorities set by his family. He is a dutiful son, but to be loved by him is a horror show. Something that creeps along, like the slow terror of a gothic horror novel. He truly combines innocently psychological horror with romance. Good luck, my dear
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
You are very much aware of the cold empty eyes following your every move. How they never seem to loose sight of you, tracking your every movement like a predator about to swallow you whole. He is smothering in his protective streak, that he shows towards his family. He keeps you close to the house, always under the careful eyes of his family and the staff. Every once in a while, he will try to make you forget, bringing you something you talked about. Showing, that not only is he watching your every step, he is also listening to your every word. Not a single action going unnoticed.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He will know if someone is bothering you, no matter if you want him to know or not. He tends to be aware of your every movement, but also tracks your surroundings as well. His killing intent will leak from him, like an unstoppable wave, smothering and drowning every one, that dares to come to close to you. If his quiet warning is ignored, he can at least tell you that he tried, when he jams one of his needle behind an imbeciles eye. Not a single unnecessary drop of blood was spilled, as expected of him and deep inside of him a seed of pride will bloom.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He won´t see any sense in mocking you. Illumi has you exactly where he wants you to be, so why would he mock you? All is well in his books, so why bother with something, that seems so senseless to him. Instead, he will work on his next goal: Getting you comfortable in your new home and used to your new family. And even though, he doesn´t quite know how to achieve that part, he will still try. It shouldn´t be that hard, right? Though his frustration will rise, till he admits, that he was never taught this kind of skill. Maybe his grandfather will know how to help him. No matter what he won´t give up.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Now, that he has you, Illumi will just go with whatever happens. He doesn´t expect you to fall into his arms and suddenly love him or anything. Neither does he think, that you would suddenly be comfortable with his physical presence, and so he keeps his distance. Still, he likes to talk to you. Sometimes the whole room between you, even though it doesn´t make a difference to him, as he tries to be emotional vulnerable with you. Though, there is one thing, if he even so much as suspects you being a danger to yourself, he will take action. One of his needle pinched between his fingers, as gently inserts it. The order behind it clear: Stay alive
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
It is a bit awkward with him. He will sometimes just throw a sentence in the room, and you can swear you can hear crickets in that moment. The silence often so much louder, than the words. It is clear to you, that he no idea what he is doing, and you can sometimes see a pinch to his eyebrows, before he recounts his day with slow words. Completely stilted and his tone wooden. Still, you can recognize, that he is trying. When the silence rings too loud, and he can´t think of another approach he will ask you to talk instead, and reluctantly you will comply. Maybe it will have helped you in the future.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
When you start to act up, becoming aggressive with him and on one notable occasion even trying to act him, Illumi will be mostly confused. He doesn´t understand why you´re so lively all of the sudden, but declares it silently to be simply a mood of yours. His mother has the same ones, as do several of his younger brothers. He is sure, that sooner or later you will calm down again, and quite frankly simply lets you be. Surely, it will stop by itself.
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
He doesn´t see his attempts at building a relationship with you, as a game. He also doesn´t want to use his darling to entertain him either. As ridiculous it may seem to you, he genuinely wants to have a bond with you. So he doesn´t play with you. But he also doesn´t see your escape attempts for what they are either. Most of the time, he will think, that you simply wanted to go out in the garden to take a walk, and will accompany you, before bringing you back to your room. Because of this simple reason none of your attempts will have any repercussions, even though some of the servants started to side-eye you by now.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
It´s the way that he looks at you, that will frighten you the worst. His big empty eyes, just staring with you. You could swear, that these eyes of his would a corpse better, than a living and breathing man, but here he is. Eyes dead, unblinking for hours. You can feel him watching you, almost as if he touching you. When you wake up, and the first thing you get greeted by are these pools of black, that always make you feel as if he will swallow you whole. Him just casually leaning back, as if watching you sleep like this is normal. It´s unnerving, it drives you to anxiety with him.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
His wish towards the future are quite simple. He doesn´t have any responsibilities towards his family with you, considering that he isn´t the future head of the family. And this is exactly what he wants with you. Something, that has nothing to do with the family business. He wants your company more than anything. He wants you to be someone, that he can always return to. Maybe even be a reason to return at any cost? He wants to have something, that can be entirely his, outside of responsibilities. Outside of the family, even if it would always came first, but this is why he wants you to be family too, no?
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Illumi doesn´t get jealous at all. He has you already in his grasp, and there is no way that you could ever leave his reach. And the worse thing: He knows it. There is no doubt in his mind, when it comes to you leaving him. He knows, that it won´t happen. His confidence is somewhat helped along by his ignorance. He doesn´t understand most signals, either from you or others. The only thing, that will leave slightly irritated when you ignore him completely, but even then he will only huff and ignore the problem.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
He tends to be more open with you. Or well, at least he is trying. He will attempt to talk about his feelings with you, though it tends to go rather strange. He is most of the time unable to actually say outright what it is, that he is feeling. It will evolve in a way, that he will talk more about small physical sensations, that he is feeling or whatever thoughts are wandering around in his head. In general Illumi will try and attempt to simply share a bit of his life with you. It isn´t in an usual manner, but it is the only way that he knows how. And he tries so badly.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
He is someone, that will approach you. He can´t see the sense in dancing around you for long, and instead chooses the most direct approach. Illumi is very persistent, when it comes to inviting you, and he certainly isn´t someone, that tries to win you over with sweet words, as he is uncomfortably direct. While he certainly isn´t a smooth talker, he came with a plan. He makes it is mission, to figure some things out about you, before he starts interacting with you, and then he kinda, just overwhelms you. His profession certainly helps him, and if everything doesn´t work, he will simply take you with him.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
His true colours have a tendency to shine through clearly in his every action, even though he most often keeps a blank face. And even then, he will have more often than not sudden rather violent outbursts, where he just wants to hide you away, and hoard all your time for himself. He is incredibly controlling in those moments, as he tries to come to an understanding for what he is feeling. It will take quite a bit for him to calm down again, and to stop limiting your movements so much.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
He knows that he can´t hold you to the same standards as  his family, so tends to lock you away. Isolating you in the process. He won´t starve you, because he can never quite judge how much you can take. It is the same with pain, poison or anything else, that he was punished with as a child. He will maybe punish you with half of the lowest point of what is normal for the start of the training in his family, and even then he will hesitate, before going with the easier and safer option of simply locking you away.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
With him, his darling is cut off from society, as soon as he manages t get his hands on them. Though, it might never quite feel that way, as he brings you to his home. Kukuru Mountain is spacious, and you will have all the time in the world to find that out for yourself, as he does let you have free reign over where to go. It´s not like you could escape out the front door anyway. You can also interact freely with whoever you come across, while discovering as you are never quite in danger. After all, someone always has an eye on you.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
While he is clueless about how to interact with someone, that he wants to have intimacy and a deep understanding with, he is still kind. He knows, that hurting you would be counterproductive, and while he doesn´t quite catch that his presence itself, might be unnerving for some, it doesn´t really matter anyway. He is often busy with work, and so doesn´t even expect a relationship build on closeness to happen anytime soon. Not even as the months pass. He can be incredibly patient, and is more than happy, to simply have someone he can pass his thoughts onto. This makes him incredibly patient.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
If there is even a slight chance or hope of recovering his darling he would take it immediately. Even if it´s just to retrieve their dead body. He would want to recover, that small piece of you, that this world was left with. But in the end, he would never try again to open up to somebody else. He can´t really connect the idea of loving someone again, like he did. In his mind, you were simply special in that way. A once in a lifetime experience, that was taken from him. Whoever took you from him, would have hell to pay.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Illumi can barely understand what he is feeling on a good day. Most days, those things still escape his notice. Guilt is one of the many emotions, he might never recognize, no matter how long he will try to understand himself. He might apologise to you, if he feels agreeable that day, if you ever scream a demand of doing so at him. But there is no feasible way, that he would ever feel guilty for what he did to you. It´s not that he doesn´t care, but in his opinion your life has only gotten better since meeting him, and that there is no need for him to feel any sort of misplaced guilt no matter what you say or how you act.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
He was raised to be an unfeeling assassin by his family. Nothing more than a puppet of the shadows. He was never supposed to be the heir in the first place, and as such he was replaceable. His parents could use him to truly figure out how to raise a child in their profession, and broke him in the process. So when he felt an unexplainable connection to you there was nothing that could have kept him away from you. Not what he was taught as a child or any other boundaries that were early on laid upon him. He felt like you were a part of him, and so he took it. To hold it close, to protect it from a cruel and dangerous world.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
It bothers him quite a bit to see you act like this. These are displays of emotions he has only previously seen on victims. Marks of his work, that were close to death and knew it. You are no where close to death. Especially if he can help it and has any say on it. He tries to explain to you that you are safe, but ultimately he will let it pass him by as he waits for you to return back to normal and understand what is happening. He would give you space if it was ever demanded by you. Secretly hoping, that it will help making you understand.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
He is rather cold and clinical in his approach to his darling. Every motion of his is rather mechanical, as if he keeps a tight control over the way he moves. The words, he speaks seem sometimes empty to you, as if he, just like his expressions, practised them countless time in a mirror. It is frightening, how many of his actions seem to be following a script only he can see. All the while, he doesn´t let a lot of his genuine emotions be seen through.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
His inability to work through his emotions can give you a lot of freedom, as he can´t quite tell what he is feeling and even less, what might be genuine on your side. Also, the fact that he knows that you weren´t raised like he was, under the same harsh circumstances, that he had to live trough, gives you another piece of peace. That he is aware of your differences from his can be mercilessly exploited by you, as he fears overstepping your limits. Though, with time this advantage will melt away, as he starts to slowly gauge where you are compared to him.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
He never intends to hurt you, but he will still inflict more pain, than he ever intended. He will damage you, while not being careful enough. His grip just a tad stronger, than he actually knows, and you just so much more fragile than he could ever expect. It will happen far too often in the beginning, when he is still trying to get used to you. When he is still completely unaware in the differences of strength and durability between the two of you. It will get easier, as he gets used to interacting with you, and slowly learns to actually not put too much pressure onto you. And once he has it, his control will never slip again. No matter how angry he will get, or how lost his mind becomes. He will never hurt you again. Never.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
While Illumi does like you quite a lot, and he can recognize the desire to stay by your side for as long as it is possible, it never becomes worship with him. It is something so much more intimate, than worship could ever be. He doesn´t put any kind of artificial borders around you. He doesn´t alienate you, with him putting on an unreachable pedestal. It wouldn´t do him any good, if he put more distance between the two of you, than there already is. He wants to be close to you, and so he makes sure, that he can actually be close to you.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
He snapped a long time ago. Long ago, before he ever even met you. Him loosing it, had absolutely nothing to do with you in particular, as it was simply that his control slipped. His fear of loosing something, that was already so precious to him, simply overwhelming him, as he takes you. Though, he will always take great care to never let his mask slip around you, to not scare you away even further. He will do, what he thinks to be necessary, for as long as he still feels like he has chance, to reach you in the end.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
He knows, that there is something wrong with him. Something, that got broken before he ever realized what it was, in his childhood. He knows, that he is the anomaly here, and that most people are like you. He knows all of this, and he doesn´t want that for you. Illumi likes, that you are aware of your own feelings, that you will never cut yourself on the broken parts of yourself unlike him. He wants you whole, because he just likes you the way you are. Also it is nice to have someone for once to be careful with, whom edges can´t scare him any further.
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autisticlancemcclain ¡ 2 years ago
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Lance has always been a light sleeper. There’s a reason he wears all the equipment and shit. People who sleep like a fucking corpse — like, ahem, certain mullet haired boys who could pass out hanging from the ceiling by their big toe and sleep for eight hours — don’t wear eye masks and headphones.
It does, though, have the occasional benefit. Like having a natural defense mechanism to pranks by dickhead siblings, for example. Can’t put butter on his nose in the middle of the night to make him break out if he wakes up at the slightest creak, Marco.
Asshole.
But most of the time it’s a pain in the ass. It means that unless he is wearing those massive headphones, he’ll wake up if someone so much as sneezes four doors down.
Or, perhaps, if his training obsessed boyfriend likes to wake up at the asscrack of castle-simulated dawn, then Lance is rudely dragged from dreamland. And to make matters worse, if Keith thinks Lance is awake, he’ll try to convince Lance to go with him, as if Lance has any interest in all at doing intense cardio at five in the fucking morning.
He’s so goddamn cute when he’s hopeful that it works every time, too. He gets this stupid little smile on his face, like he’s imagining all the stuff they’re going to do together, that Lance physically has to drag himself out of their endlessly comfortable bed and go run laps around the training room or whatever, feeling like he’s half-dead and incapable of speaking in anything but grunts. All while possibly planning the murder of his morning-person boyfriend so he never has to do this again.
Lance has, coincidentally, gotten very good at feigning sleep.
Now, every time he hears Keith’s alarm go off — several fucking times because, as previously mentioned, Keith sleeps like a rock — he concentrates hard on being still, breathing evenly. Holding whatever position he’s in and fighting to urge to so much as crack open one eyelid. He’ll stay where he is as he feels Keith carefully pull his arms out from under Lance’s head and around his waist (because for all Lance grumbles and grouches Keith really does do his best to make sure Lance gets all his beauty sleep. Sometimes he’s so careful that it takes him several minutes to extract himself fully. Those mornings are always the hardest for Lance to pretend he’s still unconscious, fighting the smile that desperately wants to pull its way across Lance’s lips). Then Keith will tiptoe around the room getting ready, slipping on a t-shirt and sweatpants and braiding his hair. Finally there’ll be a few minutes of silence, as if Keith is just standing still, watching Lance sleep, and then he’ll lean over and press the gentlest of kisses to whatever part of Lance peeks out from his mound of blankets, before he’s off to go make himself sweat before he’s even had breakfast.
It is, if Lance is being completely honest, his favourite part of the day. That quiet, secret affection always makes something soft and warm bloom in his chest, making him grin as he fades back to sleep.
Only…one morning he feels Keith pull carefully away from him, hears him patter quietly around the room. The rustling sounds of Keith getting ready are a little louder than usual, a little less muted, as if Keith is rushing. And there’s no period of silence.
No kiss.
Lance sits up straight once he hears Keith’s footsteps fade down the hall, looking at the closed door in confusion.
Hey.
He considers, for a moment, just dismissing it and going back to sleep. It’s no big deal, after all. It’s not like Keith is getting less affectionate as a whole, or anything. In fact Lance woke up last night because Keith was talking in his sleep — about Lance, saying all sorts of dorky and adorable shit. Lance recorded it.
If he goes back to sleep now, he won’t have to get up for a couple more hours. And when he does, he’ll make his way to the kitchen where Keith will no doubt be waiting with a smile, a kiss, and a cup of coffee because he is literally the best boyfriend in the world, even if he wakes Lance up in the mornings.
Lance considers falling back asleep for one whole minute. It’s just a silly, chaste peck, after all. It’s not such a huge deal.
He scowls, throwing off the blanket and shoving his feet into his lion slippers. It is a huge deal. He needs his secret early morning kiss, dammit, and there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that he’s going to let Keith forget it.
He stomps down the hallway, ignoring an amused Shiro who says something along the lines of “Looking bright eyed this morning, Lance,” and keeping his eyes locked straight ahead.
He will get answers. And apologies. Many of them, in fact.
He pauses right before he enters the training room, messing around with the lockpad settings so he can override the automatic function like Coran showed him.
This feels like a door slam moment.
Once the manual opening has been enabled, he takes a breath, then kicks open the doors with a bang, startling Keith so hard he nearly gets brained by the gladiator.
“So I guess love is dead,” he says once Keith has called for the simulation to end, glaring daggers at the man in question.
“Lance…?” Keith stands a couple feet away from Lance, panting, sword held loosely in his right hand and head tilted to the side. “What’re you doing up this early?”
“Obviously you don’t love me,” Lance says again, well aware that he’s being dramatic and childish and not caring at all.
“What? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He’s mad at Keith, dammit. He is. But suddenly he feels silly, barging in here feeling all scorned and a little genuinely upset.
Of course Keith loves him. He — it was easy, for him to say that. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like it was an objective truth.
“You didn’t kiss me before you left,” Lance says, and he’s annoyed with himself for sounding hurt instead of petulant. “You always kiss me when you wake up. But you didn’t today.”
Keith softens immediately, stepping right up to Lance, sword clattering to the ground. “Baby,” he says warmly, cupping Lance’s cheeks and kissing him gently on the forehead. “I didn’t even know you were awake when I did that.”
Lance keeps his gaze trained on the ground, arms still crossed over his chest, stubbornly unreceptive. “Of course I do. You’re noisy. But if I wake up then you pout at me until I come train with you.“
Keith chuckles. “And you give in every time I ask.”
“Stop changing the subject, Mullet. You didn’t kiss me this morning, so obviously love is dead.”
“Love is dead, huh?” Keith presses another kiss to Lance’s forehead, then the bridge of his nose, then the tip of it. Then he moves to his cheekbones, his cheeks, the corner of his mouth. His jaw. The underside of his neck.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Keith mumbles. “We were up late last night and I ended up waking up late. I was distracted. I forgot.”
Lance tries so hard to hold on to his stubbornness, drag this out a little longer. If he’s grouchy long enough, Keith’ll do a face mask with him tonight to make up for it, he’s sure of it.
But then Keith nips gently at a particular sensitive spot, right under his ear, and Lance melts.
“I guess I can forgive you,” he mumbles, undoing Keith’s braid so he can thread his fingers through his hair. “But you have to make it up to me.”
Keith’s hands move down to his waist, and he tightens his grip. He doesn’t lift his lips from Lance’s skin.
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” Lance shudders on a breath. “You have to — fuck — you have to do a face mask with me tonight.”
“‘Kay.”
“And — read to me. Out loud. I like it when you do that.”
“Whatever you want to read I will, Bluebell.”
Lance squeezes his eyes shut, trying desperately to stay focused, but it’s hard when Keith is so close to him, fingers slipping under his shirt, mouth tracing a line from his neck to his collarbones.
“And you have to come back to bed with me. Right now. I want to go back to sleep and I don’t want to do it alone.“
He’s expecting even a little bit of protest — Keith likes his morning routine and Lance can rarely convince him to sleep in — but instead he feels Keith’s grin press into his skin, feels his grip tighten.
“We can for sure go back to bed,” he says wolfishly.
“To sleep,” Lance insists. “It is five thirty in the goddamn morning. I barely have to energy for this conversation. I want to pass out and I want you to be holding me while it happens.”
He feels Keith’s grin get softer. Then he straightens up and presses one last, lingering kiss to Lance’s lips before pulling away.
“Alright,” he says, clipping his bayard to his belt and entwining their fingers together. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Lance smiles, relishing the feeling of their skin pressed together from the short walk back to their room all the way to sliding back under the covers, wrapped snugly in Keith’s arms.
Maybe he doesn’t mind being a light sleeper all that much.
———
based on this post (third slide)
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