#and as far as i know they're still going strong like 4 years later

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Rachel: You didn't really have a crush on me, did you?

Kate: I think I did at one point when we first met, but we became such good friends that I kind of suppressed it in favor of that relationship.

Rachel: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Kate: What?

[scrimblescromble]

Hello, I'm back, with things I have noticed about Eragon that makes parts of the book very strange or funny or sad

Garrow's farm is TEN MILES OUT from Carvahall, which is already small. What the hell was he thinking??? It takes like 3.5 hours to walk that much???? And Eragon walks FURTHER THAN THAT to go hunting at 15???? Go behind you??

When hunting in the beginning, Eragon spends days just going for one doe. Which, all things considered, is not a lot of meat, especially for what's probably a 4 day hunt. For one person, it's unrealistic to carry more than that, but still.

Leading on from that, I'm led to believe that their family probably mostly ate bread and vegetables, and maybe cheese. No wonder he's pretty attached to meat.

Despite living so far away, Brom knows Eragon's knack for asking Too Many Questions, which implies this happens often.

How the hell does Brom make money? Storytelling??? There's only so much money that can get you in fifteen years, he's definitely got something on the side. He was a gardener in Morzan's estate for a while...

So far up north and isolated, Eragon DEFINITELY has a STRONG farmer's accent. Combined with his formal training with the elves, he probably has the weirdest way of talking, where it's both overly formal and casual at the same time.

Eragon is such a prodigy it's not even funny. By the time he meets Murtagh, he's a good enough swordsman after JUST A FEW MONTHS that they're literally equal. Murtagh has been doing that his WHOLE LIFE with a really good swordsman. Magic also comes pretty good to him, even if he's not always sensible with it. He learns to read well enough to read full books in a week.

Eragon and Roran are pretty similar with the dangerous stunts they pull, except Eragon's are usually with magic and Roran's are physical. They are both absurdly intelligent too, even if Eragon is known to act like a dolt sometimes. In his defence, he's stressed and like 15-17 years old. All things considered, he could be far worse.

Somehow, with his back ripped open and cursed, with his dragon crashing through the crystal ceiling which is raining on top of him, Eragon is able to not only remember to stab Durza in the heart (requiring turning around), but also shout an unnecessary spell.

Eragon probably could do magic before he bonded with Saphira. His mum wasn't a rider and had the "genes" for it, and his dad was a rider. It wouldn't be as strong, but maybe he's such a powerful spellcaster because he had some sort of baseline.

I bet that the first time Eragon wandered into the Spine, he was pretty young, and everyone kinda assumed him dead. He came out a week later with a bunch of rabbits or something

The fact that the Blood Oath Celebration made Eragon very pale implies that he's naturally the whitest boy ever and he just had a constant tan going (likely, because he's a farmer). This is just very funny to me, that in removing all injuries it took his tan.

Another point for absurdly powerful Eragon - the fact that his accidental curse had such an impact on Elva, to the point that it straight up affected her development. It wasn't even a spell! Or intentional!

I'm sorry, but Eragon casting empathy and that unintentionally killing the bad guy is so funny. He was SURRENDERING, but cut a bitch so deep that he imploded himself. Iconic.

Literally he is just so nice. Willing to run across the world, separated from Saphira, to support Orik in his campaign - when he totally could have given an excuse, or even just say the truth, which is that he's very much needed where he is. There's so many more examples, but he's just a good person.

I'm sorry, but Oramis was kinda a bitch for assigning the one hour of duelling in his training. Like, it flares up his seizures like crazy (which he ALSO SUFFERS FROM), AND he doesn't stand a chance against the elves in strength. I understand the point, but something had to give there. At the very least, reassign someone that won't actively torture him??

Adding onto that, we know that he's only able to succeed at the listening to the forest task after the transformation. I suspect that the mind is a sort of "sixth sense", and we know that elves have stronger senses; it's possible Eragon would have to have been bonded for a decent while for this to even be possible. I bet anything that human riders were usually trained by elder humans, and Oramis was struggling with a fledgeling human instead of an elf, as well as the time constraint.

Why the hell does Brom look so old? Yeah, he's old, but Galbatorix doesn't look that old? Is it something to do with his dragon being dead? The way I assumed it would be is that riders look like thirty for a verrrryyyy long time, no? Is it because Saphira died? Was he just going to perpetually age? Or does the beard age him?

Your cousin who feels like a brother goes missing, ran away, after your father's death. Soon you're leading everyone you've ever known to the rebellion in a desperate attempt to keep them safe and save the woman you love. Your cousin is wanted, even more than you are. He returns. He's different. Barely human anymore, hardly the boy you once knew. He's their last, and only hope. His war cry has been the same since he was six.

Now that I think about it, Garrow really is the odd one out in the family. His sister was the Black Hand, a highly dangerous assassin and magician. His son is Stronghammer, one of the deadliest soldiers in the country. His nephews are Eragon and Murtagh, both highly skilled swordsmen and magicians, riders, and both known as Kingkiller. Garrow is a farmer who can read.

Selena naming her son Eragon is soooo funny. "His dad - who is a secret! - is a rider, and Eragon was the first rider. It's so uncommon a name even among the elves that literally nobody will know this. My abusive husband and the evil king both know I hail from this place. He totally won't stick out in any way whatsoever!" Iconic, 10/10. It worked???

If any of these are inaccurate please remember I am going off my very deep-seated knowledge from reading the books so many times at a formative age. I haven't actually read them in years

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

😴😴😴 (to find later) AITA for putting sleeping pills in my boyfriend's drinks without him knowing?

I know this sounds absolutely awful, but please bear with me.

Basically, me (27 m) and my boyfriend (26 m) have been living together for around five years, meaning we usually also sleep together. Or at least we try, since my BF suffers from terrible insomnia and reoccurring nightmares so bad sometimes he wakes up into a full on anxiety attack. He does go to therapy and has prescribed sleeping pills, but he hates taking them because he's always afraid that when he does fall asleep he's just going to have nightmares, (which also just makes him avoid sleeping in general even not including his insomnia).

Usually I try to help him by staying up with him, watching his favorite show while cozied up on the couch under a bunch of blankets and with a hot coco, or we do something else that he likes and helps him relax. I really don't mind, I love him and I love spending time with him. However, it used to be that he would fall asleep at around 3-4 AM, but as time went on he started staying up longer and longer, until at a certain point I literally had to start leaving for work in the morning while he still hadn't gotten any sleep.

This was an issue for two reasons: 1. Obviously, without me there he felt even less comfortable and had an even harder time falling asleep, sometimes staying up for even 48 hours (or maybe more, I'm not sure) just to wait for me to come back home so I could help him unwind again. 2. He actually started lying to me about sleeping while I wasn't home, so that I would go to sleep normally and let him stay awake because "he wasn't tired" even though I could clearly tell he was.

That's when I started getting seriously concerned and questioning him about how much he actually sleeps, especially since I could see it was affecting him more and more both mentally and physically. He was avoidant about the topic but I pleaded with him to talk to his therapist about it, to try and find anything else to help him. Apparently his therapist just told him to keep using his sleeping pills to help with the insomnia, and if they're not working she'll look into prescribing him stronger ones. Yet despite that he still insists on not taking them and just going to bed normally even though it's clearly not working.

To clarify: as far as I'm aware, he has no negative side-effects from these sleeping pills, he's never complained about feeling any pain or feeling worse after taking them or anything like that. Literally he only doesn't want to take them because he's just that afraid of going to sleep.

That's why whenever we stay up nowadays, I always add a small dose to his cup of coco, which thankfully has a strong enough taste to cover the pills (I've tried a small bit myself and couldn't tell a difference). Since I started doing that, he's been regularly falling asleep before 2AM and even though the nightmares still sometimes wake him up or make him feel a bit tired in the morning, overall he's been doing much better.

Still, I do feel bad about putting stuff in his drinks without his knowledge even if it's for his own good. I really wonder if I should stop, but I'm really scared that if I do, he'll start spiralling again. I want to help him and be there for him but I've already tried talking about it and it never worked. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[viathecloset]

Taehyung and jungkook's relationship is overlooked by 90% of the fandom solely because they are so controlled by the narrative of the fandom/company that they cannot quite accept that anything outside is even a remote possibility. Ive been more of a quiet observer for years now [my sister's an army since 2015] and I've seen the boys, moreover I know how marketing and kpop works. It's quite evident if u observe close enough of the pattern on how this group of seven guys who genuinely love music is marketed you would understand to what extent you're being brainwashed. Im not talking about this like a conspiracy theorist. It's quite simple and right infront of you. Yall refuse to accept it that's all.

1. There are a certain set of stories that are made to be told by them, over and over again. Even if it disturbs them or they are bored. E.g: 2018 disbandment story, vmin dumpling incident, jikook rain fight/tokyo trip, mind you there are many things that happend between people who lived together for 10+ yrs but if it cuts the flow of events you are made to believe happened you aren't gonna hear from it, ever.

2. Like stories there are dynamics that each pair is supposed to portray Taegi as annoying/annoyed duo, taejin/jikook as flirty HS boyfriends, namseok/taekook the awkward old friends and no matter how much the relationships change or evolve you won't see it cuz again, it won't FIT the narrative that has already been shown.

3. Like relationships there are characteristics that thankfully some members chose to break out of during their solo era: hoseok always being sunshine and loud ( he's quite serious and very dedicated infact ), jungkook being that muscle dude who only knows how to follow his Hyungs ( he's very independent and has a lot of targets he wants to achieve individually, he's very thoughtful and organized) and Taehyung being WEIRD and weak ( he's extremely intelligent and super strong he's strategic and disciplined)

4. This brings us to the whole Taekook narrative, the fact that they've been seen so much during solo era yet people had the audacity to still call them distant and awkward solely cuz it wasn't via company but through Taehyung's ig or jungkook mentioning him in interviews etc. I think it's needless to say they aren't comfortable being touchy and showy on camera for content, hell if they were to shoot everytime Taehyung and jungkook hangout there would he enough CONTENT till 2067. They're supportive of eo and have a very big shared friend circle, when jungkook went missing for almost 2 months we got to know Taehyung was the one he was with.

5. The thing is everyone [ including my own sister ] thinks that Taehyung is being desperate or such whenever he mentions Taehyung cuz a. Yall have actually led jokers run so fucking rampant that everytime the man mentions him actually doing something you're ready to throw him under the bus and call him a liar or such. b. Im not saying jungkook isn't close to anyone else but when he isn't working or shooting content and just wants to be himself the one you saw him most was around Taehyung and yes it matters. In the name of hating shippers yall have not only dissed the quite frankly PRIVATE bond they seem to share but went as far as dissing Taehyung himself cuz of the extreme level of manipulation yall are under.

Ik imma find armys [jikookers ]under this sooner or later calling me names but to be honest I'm sick and tired of yall dissing very real people and their very real human relationships solely based off the content yall are made to believe is 100% candid. Go touch grass, get friends, go date, don't obsess over them for a while then come back and try seeing it from a neutral perspective.

[oonajaeadira]

The Gordy Report

Gordy's been with us a little over a week now and he's really made himself at home (he's at the office with me today and sleeping on my feet).

I had to register for his pet license and was going through his medical file this week. Y'all. I did not like what I found there. Before I delve in, here's the pet tax:

A very good boy.

First of all, the rescue association I got him from messed up some info that had to be resent. They also told us he was 5 and he's actually about to turn 7 (this is not a problem, we love middle-aged and old dogs in this house, but still, misinformation). But the thing I'm the most frustrated with is the fact that he's had some trauma, and while I know some of it, there were some pretty big gaping holes in the information I was given when we took him in.

I won't go too far into it, but his OG owners gave him up to his foster because they were having a baby and couldn't deal with his high-strung nature. Then he was adopted by his former owners. (That's right, we're his 3rd household, 5th if you count both the times he went to a foster.)

What I read in his medical file was a tragedy. His formers had him for less than a year. They dropped his trainer (which he really needed) and took him running 5+ miles a day (which he loved), but also they let him roam off leash on a relative's farm that had animals. Gordy's a herding breed. Without proper training, that is a Bad Idea.

Within a month, he was in the hospital for a foot injury most likely acquired at the farm, that had him limping--a cut on his foot--and then vomiting--most likely infected from animal dung or some other farm junk. (How did he get the cut? They said they didn't know. Which means they either weren't watching him or they DID know and didn't want to say because they should have known better.)

Another month went by and he needed stitches on the cut because the formers didn't take the doctor's advice and went running with him every day, so it tore. Another month went by and they weren't paying enough attention and he chewed those stitches. They took him in for new stitches and something happened at the vet that traumatized him so much they had to sedate him. Upon coming out of sedation, he bit his former on the nose! (Hello, some common sense advice: Don't put your face an animal's face if they're disoriented and in pain!) After that, they took him to the groomer and neglected to tell the groomer about his injury and it got re-opened there. Gordy was too scared and riled to go to the vet so he had to have video vet appointments and the formers were told how to handle it.

Which, of course, involves instructions. Not their strong point apparently.

At this point in, we are 4 months of this dog dealing with a wound on his foot. And then they again don't listen to the doctor and take him out to the farm where he runs off leash and chases a running horse and bites it and then almost bites an 8-year old child. At 5 months, his paw is 90% healed. FIVE MONTHS. FOR WHAT WAS JUST A SIMPLE CUT THAT BECAME A LACERATION.

They then complained that he seemed high-strung and a little snippy with them and got the vet to put him on prozac....before taking him back to the foster a few months later.

Okay. This was all very distressing to read. And I'm angry that the agency didn't detail it. But I'm even angrier at the formers for taking care of him so badly. (There were other things in those records that I could see they weren't keeping up with either.) I mean, I would be cranky too if I spent 5 months with an open wound.

But. His foster is a dog trainer and I can see between looking at the vet reports and the dog that is currently sweetly sleeping at my feet that she has done wonders with him. She actually texts me from time to time to see how he is and gives me good advice to keep his training solid. And I listen, because I can tell she worked hard on him and doesn't want that to go to waste. And since training works to give dogs structure and help them feel secure, I don't want it to lapse either.

He's such a good boy, y'all, and so deserving of love. I'm still in the moony phase where I feel so lucky to have him every time I wake up and see him waiting for me or watch him twitching in his comfy sleep in the sunshine. I'm working on letting go of my anger towards his formers and just letting his past be his past. He's so happy here. And that's all I want for him.

[hottakehoulihan]

Hench

by Natalie Zina Walschots

(tl;dr: It's capepunk. There's a sorta-Accord-like character? The book uses some JKR words. : ( ...but it's a book with some good ideas. Like measuring cape-hero damage in 'lifeyears' and opposing it therefor and arguably for ACAB reasons.)

There is no ethical employment under capitalism, but people still gotta eat.

So if you can't make a living wage slinging fries or answering phones, you try dipping your toes into henching for B-lister criminals.

Like Uber and Leet. Or, in Walschots universe, Electric Eel, a villain who seems like he likes incense and peace signs when he's not throwing victims into a pit that's full of ethically-sourced sharks?

The book was readable and I thought it had a lot of promise.

The author is mostly new but clearly into the subject (her other book is apparently erotic love poems to supervillains) and seems like she'd be fun to hang around. The book is pretty good. 3.5 to 4 stars out of 5. It has some new ideas I greatly enjoy. My normal instinct would be to puff the book up to and beyond its deserts, because I parasocial easily and also I want to get new authors a leg up and especially if they show promise to grow into something I'll like even more.

Which is to say that although it doesn't deserve fulsome praise, it deserves praise and I would ordinarily overdo it because--as G. K. Chesterton did NOT say but maybe Oscar Wilde would have (and as HotTakeHoulihan ABSOLUTELY says), "If a thing is worth doing, it is worth overdoing."

But first, before I get into the plot, why am I restrained?

Our protagonist ("Anna", when she's not working) is a woman in her...early 20s? And once, back when signing up at a temp agency, went by the Harry Potter surname "Tromeldov" and regrets it. ..but this is the best name we have for her (the other alternative is her never-used work-name "Palindrome"?) As far as we know, she's "Anna Tromeldov" on her birth certificate or...something?

The author published this book in 2021.

In book publishing years, the timeline between 2019 (when JKR went fully mask off) and 2021 might be longer than it seems.

And maybe the author didn't know because she doesn't pay attention to these things. Plausible deniability exists, and sometimes it's because it's the honest truth.

But it's as if the main character had a crush on a character who happened to be named Hank Atlas Rearden or Eva Dolph Brawn. It's distracting and hinky, but could be not-a-dogwhistle at all. Here's hoping I'm not helping platform a hate-group person. : /

Also, spoilers:

Protag gal signed on for a short gig just standing around with other bodyguards/henchmen at an event for her C-list supervillain boss. She's not strong or powered (maybe in a subsequent book--the sequel comes out in March) but he wanted some women in with all his muscle (which are common enough they're referred to as "meat", in-universe.)

Alas, this wasn't the minor stand-there-and-look-like-a-scary-fireplug job it was set up to be. Electric Eel is a villainous tinker and while his gadgets are usually about as reliable as the X-ray specs from an old magazine catalog (I have never held one of those but I've seen simulations on YouTube), he's got an enslavement ray going and he's kidnapped the mayor's kid.

Protag is unhappy, because she got handed the slave-ray just after the boss told the kid to cut off part of a finger (to demonstrate the ray) and the kid was gearing up to do his best and was clearly going to be allowed to.

It's not at all clear if protag was going to stay obedient much longer, but she seemed pretty frozen by indecision.

Fortunately, a flying brick burst in and knocked her out of the way, destroyed the dingus, beat up all the 'meat', and chased the villain (who was hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ing his retreat and spraying murder-clouds everywhere, killing some people our protag knew.)

And then our protag realizes she can't stand. Later, in the hospital and having to undergo multiple surgeries to partly-reconstruct her leg (Supes hits hard) she learns she's fired for being no-longer-useful as a physical hench, that she's not going to walk for at least six months and will be using a cane after that, and the cops and superheroes have decided the official report is that she was hurt by the villain because superheroes do no wrong.

Shortly after she's evicted, but her best friend takes her in, and during this time?

This is the interesting part

She starts internetting and studying natural disasters and hits on the concept of the "Life Year", which is measuring the impact of things (like COVID) based not merely on how many deaths they caused or on merely how many dollars of damage or lost income they caused, but also things like impaired ability to live life--such as she's enduring--at that time.

And she's meticulous about documentation, and conservative about how she notates her assertions, so when her blog is discovered by pro-cape media they mock and deride it with the spin they can muster, but she starts acquiring her own community of contributors and corroborators.

Bluntly speaking, hero activity isn't just more trouble and damage than its worth, but this is true on an immense scale. Unless you're a mayor's son, I guess.

Soon after, protag acquires a new A-list supervillain employer, who is meticulous and precise and also a powerful combatant with mechanized mail and claws and mask. He'd like her to both continue her research and also--now that it's clear that she's on the same page as he is--help him come up with ways to utterly destroy (what we might call "cancel") or at least nullify the cape threat.

And she does. She becomes pretty cool, and her fellow henches end up with a cute office culture and get. shit. done.

Another review I read (after I finished the book) says she goes full-on-evil. Maybe they're more right than I am, and of course few IRL villains would admit they're being and doing evil to themselves...but she's doing the wrong things, for the wrong reason, but to accomplish the right ends. ...and she'd freely admit this even while twirling the modified cane her employer gave her.

Alas for her, she's made the more amoral facets of the superhero community Very Angry. And so for the final third of the book? She's gonna have to deal with the upcoming climax.

(Also, she's got a crush on her new boss. ...and her best friend--who doesn't mind henching or supervillains at all--is freaked out by her prominence and her importance and...and it sucks to have your BFF cut comms. I expect this'll pay off in a subsequent book, with BFF either becoming a hostage, an adversary, or a secret third thing.)

(Author is demonstrably pro-woman (Yay!) and LGB friendly (Yay! 3/5!) , which are things I'm a fan of, and there are some same-sex couples in the peripheries of the book, but protag seems pretty into only dudes, so I don't really think her profound attachment to her BFF is latently romantic or sexual.)

I can tell you how it works out, and there are some fun bits of media manipulation, office snark, and combat shenanigans. ...and if you ask in the comments I'll answer.

But that's the book. I'm kind of--guardedly--a fan of the protag (and the author), and am sorta cheering as these well-meaning heroic doofuses are retiring or 'being retired' as a result of the protag's efforts. ...because they ARE well meaning. ..and they're killing the mosquitos on the playground with industrial quantities of DDT.

The sequel, "Villain", comes out in March. I'll probably wait until I can get it used, but will want to read it just to see where the story goes.

3.5 stars out of 5, and the protag is more morally gray than Taytay. I love the ideas and approach. At no point in the first third of the book did I successfully guess what direction the story was going (I legit thought maybe she'd end up being courted by the contrite-and-trying-to-do-better flying brick hero, for a time. Also, I did not expect her to get knocked out of the henching junior leagues so decisively or early.)

Maybe I'll check out one of the fanfics (there are at least two) on AO3.

[ishtates]

Teutates Taranis Headcanons !!!

( She / They / It )

- was once human, died from being shot to death by the DDD on her way to visit Nacha. The mass shooting happened because she accidentally stumbled upon a hoard of dopplegangers and thus termination began. What brought her back was mutation from the blood and gases of the Doppleganger corpses as well as vengance.

- as a human, she had a giant scar on her forehead from a fight, she later got a tattoo over it, it is the only tattoo Teutates has that she had prior to dying. The rest of the tattoos simply grew on their own

- She doesn't usually go to the human world to annihilate things, usually other realms, but she does occasionally resurface if a human attempted to call for and commission her or if she simply felt like it

- it's very accident prone, like, VERY. Has accidentally broken utensils, cups, chairs, tables, Windows, it's own bones, other people's bones.. thus, when off work, it tries to be BEYOND careful, knowing it can slip up very easily

- ^^ it has actually cried over breaking things before because usually it genuinely didn't mean to and it upsets it that it can't control it very well

- in 1955: was pretty cold to the doorman, not liking that they worked for the DDD. It also just wasn't very fond of humans in general, but would never outwardly insult them.

In 2024: far nicer and more kind. Will ask the doorman if they're ok and will at least attempt to smile at them sometimes, they're one of the few humans Teutates can trust

- her brother is Ah Puch, he suffered a similar fate ( but that's for another post ). She's quite protective of him and understands why he tends to cling to her often, though that doesn't mean the ol sibling banter doesn't occur, she will sometimes tease him becsuse she can

- of the 4 nightmares that were once human, Teutates is the one with the poorest memory of her past, only remembering stuff because Ah Puch, the one who remembers most, told her, and she trusts him ( and he's right ). Naturally, Ah Puch doesn't have all the answers

- pretty 50/50 relationship with Yog. She hates him because he's annoying, pretentious, a drama queen, and hogs Ishtar, but she sometimes can find a friend in him through shared opinions, hobbies, and a mutual care for Ishtar ( Teutates and Ishtar being together and Yog being Ishtar's best friend ). Think of it like Jian Hao and Vincent

- They actually don't like singing and can't play any instrument besides the ukulele. They don't have much confidence in their singing voice, and they picked up the ukulele because it helps them relax and reminds them of Ishtar

- Lesbian. I think that's obvious

- They present however they wish, the only clothing item they refuse to wear is any type of dress, skirts are only an exception if they're gothic

- STRONG croatian accent. Think of Frost Queen Cookie but if she mostly spoke croatian all her life

- obv they were born in 1914 ( they are 41. Eternally ) so they only knew themself as Yugoslavian. Nowadays they go back n forth between Croatian and Yugoslavian

- they don't remember their original birthday besides the year, so the DDD assigned them a new one: March 3rd. They don't like doing anything big for their birthday, they prefer just having a small party with their neighbors

- Yeah they're not very social. In their human life they were more energetic but that didn't and still doesn't equate to social, but they have a lot of confidence and assertiveness, they won't take your shit

- it annihilates through lightning, weapons, and mind powers, though not using weapons does tend to make it more tired.

- actually has quite the mischievous and wicked side, enjoying watching those she even finds mildly annoying get hurt, and her insults can HURT as she cackles at your misery

- you hurt Ishtar you are catching these hands ✨

- doesn't feel toooo close to most of the neighbors but likes most of them in some way. She does wish the neighbors would stop assuming she's just scary and mean, though

- really doesn't gaf if you call her a dude, mayyybe she'll correct you but usually she'll just ignore it

- it enjoys listening to music, will usually lay there and let its thoughts run as music plays in thr background

- it's hard to explain, but it's simultaneously low and high energy. Can absolutely chase someone down for miles and can do parkour, but is often also quite tired and sleepy

- she got with Ishtar on Valentine's day of 1957, she was the one to confess and managed to get her some spider lily flowers

- is the very loving, sweet, but also very protective and chaotic GF. Loves putting Ishtar in a shopping cart and running around, but also likes to just cuddle

- doesn't matter that he's 32, she basically treats Ah Puch like her son sometimes

- she's actually an artist ! She enjoys to draw and paint a lot :]

[parkminijiminie]

https://www.tumblr.com/teenagegardengladiator/733072566651092992/jk-will-never-outgrow-his-crush-for-jimin-lol?source=share

Why can't they once be like normal frnds and talk about e/o without giggling and shit? why they always giggly mess when they're together?

You know what? Now i actually want that jkk live cause i wanna see exactly how they act especially jk cause i know jm is pretty good with his expression and things prepared it's jk who looks mess around jm.

No but listen like i honestly don't get how and why they're always like this when they're together on cam? I remember the 2021 jm's birthday live so even then jk did went to jm he was still like i have to go and workout but jm was like noooo and then came hobi and jk suddenly forgot he has workout to do? And I'm specifically talking about 2021 cause if i had mentioned something recent people would be like"well Maybe Because they don't spend time together so they're awkward" that's why I'm using this from 2021 where everything was going perfectly fine and THIS still happened so what I'm saying is WHY? Why is it hard for them to be infront of cam like normal frnds do, like they always do with other members?

Also as you mentioned in your post earlier that it's not jk's fault that people hates jm i agree with that cause belive me if it was jm going to jk's suchwita he would have been called names but since it's tae tkkrs would eat up the supposed "company content" had it been jm whom jk said "don't come we're in the middle of shooting" they would have made a big deal just like they did when jk jokingly said No to jm when he went to jm's practice.

Thing is tkkrs hates jm with passion so they will always always find something to shit on him. Jk just only described things how it went. Just like how he also mentioned that he went with tae and his frnds to skii and literally stayed behind alone no one was with him later cause everyone went home but he alone stayed cause he was enjoying it too much. Now had it been jkk they would have said "yes they went with frnds and jk was even alone at the end Omega mimi left with his frnds and didn't even stopped for his boyfriend" like believe me anon they will always find a way. But since it's tkk they ignored the whole last part of that thing where jk said he alone stayed behind.

Been here for 4+ yrs and i can give you the exact line/dialogue tkkrs would pull out of they asses for everything jkk does. It's just repetitive and nothing new.

And yes before getting mad at jk remember that he's the only one who has quite literally mentioned jm all the time, asking him for lives, watching his content like remove those moments and see what are the things you're left with.

Also stop seeing jm and jk as someone who's content provider. Take whatever they give you with love or leave that's the only option.

Preach, Anon, preach!!! 1000% this! Especially the part that JK and JM aren't content creators. After all, their job isn't shipping, it is just a side effect of their job. By now, all of them are simply living their life and all of us should just take what we are given.

Anyway, as a fan of BTS for 7+ years, I am so used to taekookers' antics that I don't even need to read their posts. When smth happens involving either JK, Tae, or JM, separately or as a pair, I immediately know what their narrative would be. They are deranged and completely predictable, but unfortunately, far from harmless..

Anyway, I have no idea why Jikook are the way they are. They are very confusing to me, especially nowadays. The chemistry they have with each other is so strong. Their interactions are always so charged and so different that with other ships, especially on Jungkook's part. Is it just how they are as friends? What type of friendship is even that? If they have partners, how are two people standing this shit? Why, just why why why why are they always so awkward when they have been friends for more than a decade now?

What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall during an off-camera Jikook interaction..

[gratisdiamanten]

ears perked up like a dog's when i saw apokastasis ichmfs and go in fear of the sun in there... are you still working on them? would love to hear about die middag als een open wond...

I poke at these every so often still because they've got so much narrative meat to them that it would be a waste to abandon them, you know?

Die middag als een open wond (english: that noontime like an open wound) is kind of a very very refashioned version of I Could Hear My Father Sing that's more grounded in the version of the Netherlands I've seen in person than the version I'd made up in my head before I lived here. It has a consistently darker, more plain and muted tone than how I'd written ICHMFS, and centers on different characters and different familial dynamics (this fic centers on Mathieu van der Poel/Christoph Roodhooft, and focuses more on the later rehabilitation of his relationship with his brother David after the disintegration of the family).

For those who followed me after my F1 stint, the short form of ICHMFS is 1) Jos sexually abuses Max, kills himself when he is confronted by Sophie with the prospect of being caught, 2) a couple of years later, Sophie begins dating Daniel who moves in two years after that, 3) Daniel grooms Max, and at 17, they run away when Sophie finds out about their relationship, 4) after a stretch of horrible mental health, they manage to build a life, marry in the early 00s, and adopt a daughter, 5) the daughter finds out in her late teens, confronts Daniel who dies in the ensuing few months, and she, Max, and Sophie are left to pick up the pieces and reconcile.

More symbolic hand-waves and explanations of the differences below if that's interesting at all.

In the NL, autumn-through-early spring is all brown and gray in the cities and even small towns with few reprieves of bright color. I haven't seen many personal gardens at all compared to the US. And then in the spring you get the green you've been praying for. The countryside is all green. It's the only real "color" to speak of, and it's mind numbingly vibrant. I'm a storyteller with a strong emphasis on color, so it's probably one of the biggest notable differences I lean into with this new version.

More than that though, it's the tone, which really doesn't serve the setting I'm trying to create, which is much deeper isolation with regard to Mathieu in die middag als een open wond. The method of suicide is more brutal, the surrounding not a tightly coiled small town with everyone pressed ear to ear (like the Verstappens and Schumachers in ICHMFS). They're in the Kapellenbos, and while neighbors aren't too far everyone takes pains to feel like they're far from each other. There are cultivated rows of enormous trees in front of the houses, hedgerows. Mathieu is a restless and difficult child frustrated by what is being done to him, and after his father's death, he is annoyed by all the grief. The Mathieu that Christoph abuses is a vulnerable and angry Mathieu prone to age-inappropriate self directed tantrums (biting his hands, hitting his thighs and stomach). He is easily cowed by praise about his athletics. It's the only place that gives him adequate direction.

Anyway, a small bit of what I'm trying to show:

Additionally, despite Max being a man, ICHMFS is ultimately a 3-generation mother-daughter story, with his daughter Mirjam coping with the reality of her parents and the pains her father suffered, pains that were necessary for the life she knows now. Mirjam had up to that point largely only known a kind home life.

Die middag is ultimately about brothers and the ugly bits of two siblings experiencing a trauma very differently. Mathieu, who was sexually abused, is angry and indifferent to his father's death, and later resistant to demands, constantly dissatisfied, self destructive, with unbearable ambition (that drives him to a career ending injury at 18). David resents how Mathieu draws attention, doesn't grieve normally, for reasons he can't understand. How he does better despite his unruliness. And eventually, for not only tearing the family apart, but for leaving him behind to clean up the mess without ever contacting him. In their mid to late twenties, they're reconciling. To me, that's the emotional meat of the story.

[mongrelmutt]

Continuing the Jules Verne kick with "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea"

Under a cut because this is longer than the others:

- This is my least favorite of his books so far. I am falling asleep while reading it.

- The professor calling Conseil his "boy" when Conseil is 30 years old, and only 10 years younger than him  😬😬😬

- *Hisses at Captain Nemo* Bad Vibes

- I'm pretty sure physics doesn't work like this, but I don't know enough to argue. Nor do I care enough to look it up. I am just so bored. Please get to more interesting things. 

- Also, lol of course the Victorian dudes would be like "WHALE BODIES MUST BE STRONG AND IMMOVEABLE LIKE MANLY IRON TO DIVE SO DEEP AND NOT BE KILLED!" Wrong! they squish and adjust their innards to adapt to the pressure: 

- Trying to suss out what (if any) real sea life is being described when no name is given, just fantastic descriptions.

- Sleeping underwater in scuba gear seems... unwise.

- More 19th century anthropology 😬😬😬

- Yes, yes I understand that the water temperature is invariably 4⁰ wherever and whatever time of the year at depth. You've said that like 8 times already. This had better turn out to be relevant. [Note: not particularly]

- I do not like Ned Lands.

- Shark slander 😭

((Why did the myth that sharks have to turn over to bite things last so long? I remember it from "James and the Giant Peach" as well. I would have thought enough people would have at least seen sharks biting bait at the surface by the 1800s for this to be known false?))

- Man, these guys are a bloodthirsty lot. Every new animal they see they're like "Can I kill it?? Please let me kill it! Let's kill it! 😈 Man, wouldn't you jump at the chance to kill sharks like you do bears and lions??" :/

- At the same time they're afraid of everything, assume it's dangerous, and, if not killed instantly, will retaliate violently in revenge, including a freaking *dugong.*

- Wow, some people at least knew industrial commercial whaling was unsustainable and would result in the whales' extinction even in the late 1800s! Wild that it took almost 100 years to get it (mostly) banned!

- *head desk* Nemo is such a hypocrite (I imagine that may be The Point)

- Ugggghhh the whole "predators are evil, vicious monsters, and we need to slaughter them all without mercy to protect the poor innocent prey animals" attitude still so prevalent today.

- ...wait, those are *sperm whales*?? I thought they meant killer whales at first! Sperm whales  don't even eat baleen whales... All that brutal slaughter for nothing :'( 

- ... Bonus for an even more uncomfortable use of "voluptuous" than Bram Stoker! Seal eyes are described as "voluptuous" 😆

- Of all the sea creatures to declare harmless Verne chose *elephant seals* 🤦🤣

- YAY THE KRAKEN!! At least these covers haven't lied to me!! :D 

- aaaw no, the giant squid didn't play nearly as big a part as advertised *le sigh*

- Ah, the classic "crap I've written my characters into a deadly corner, time to knock out the POV character and have them wake up safe in bed later." 

- Why did the Professor talk about Lands like he was dead at the beginning? I can see a few reasons from the author's perspective (varying from "deliberate red herring to increase the suspense" to "oops I forgot dude was originally going to die and didn't correct it") but not from the character's? It's not even like he was reflecting on the matter from decades later, when Ned might have died after the story, they're all still chilling together in Norway waiting for a steamer home?

Lands: Stop telling people I died.

Professor Aronnax: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

- Welp, I did enjoy the sea critters and fun steampunk machines, just not the long rambling bits that seemed to overwhelm the story for me

[seancamerons]

hi !! sorry i haven't replied to your asks yet, i promise i still will <3 but i see you post about degrassi a lot and i started watching that show at some point but i just can't find the motivation to get back into it (i only watched like 4 episodes, my other problem is that i'm not sure exactly what episode i was on, so i don't know if i should just start again or what to do... so (if you want to), can you tell me what some reasons are to continue watching? like what do you like about the show etc. :)

ah no worries! the first season is a hit or a miss. i love it, takes me back but not everyone shares that love. it picks up in the second-fourth seasons all strong in different ways.

(under the cut)

season 2 is similar 2 season 1 but more beefy in the storyline dept. i hope you pick it back up but if you don't it's not for everyone. i hope i didn't spoil you too much with things, but the show aired in the 2000s. i know i was upset when something from dawsons creek got spoiled for me, that show predates degrassitng by over 5 years and ended in 2003. i just remained so far from that spoiler so long for it to happen unexpected to a favorite of mine, jen. i also dislike dawson i still haven't finished! i didn't even get to that storyline yet and i'm dreading and savoring the time i have left with that character. the show has dated with time, like the earlier seasons of degrassi but they're comforting. no biggie.

what i like about degrassi was tha tit was the first show that had kids my age at the time arguing, existing, living their lives, relatable. and what keeps me watching is mostly comfort, i like the characters, it's still funny sometimes and some storylines can be sad but beautifully written. it sets them apart from other teen dramas at the time, the careful consideration of development in the friendships and relationships. family, friends, found families and epic romances are the norm. my favorite characters and power couples i still love and set the tone for the stuff i like in terms of shows. sean is a lot like the oc's ryan, emma isn't the damsel but she is a strong female protag and fits with sean (best) in my opinion. strongest relationship is between these two, they're off and on and mostly on. they both had other relationships sellie is arguably (ellie) his second most talked about relationship. he does leave briefly after tragedy (vague) and returns again, he does leave once more but this time for good. he makes one last appearance before completely leaving the series for a new life without giving too much away.

i say maybe suggesting to skipping season 1 and starting with 2.

i got into degrassi a little late, like most shows but i found a rerun and that was my first episode from the first season toward the end of that season, called wannabe. i loved the interaction between the girls and i found myself rooting for these girls i didn't even know. they don't look dawsons casting they look about 12, 13 at most, but i had similar conversations like this with friends and i found it highly relatable tehr will always be that mean girl like paige, patronizing the young impressional grade 7's in emma manny and their friends who are younger and such. season 2 is a little more intensive in drama but i think you'll like that. it feels a lot more real, the premier for 2 is really good, there's violence but there's a great storyline going on there. maybe if you start there you can backtrack 1 later and see it through. 3 is a fan favorite, four is particularly dark and strong major storyline arc going on there based on 3, and so on. you'll love it as it goes on and it's worth noting that the oc started around the time of season 3 airing of degrassi. so there's fashion and technology differences, emphasis on music and familiar faces and vibes.

degrassi is long its time consuming and there's filler or bad episodes here and there, there's a few snoozy seasons namely end of 7 until 10 and it picks up. season 13 and 14 aren't as strong, but netflix's continuation next class picks up with those guys and so on and so forth. i feel like a tour guide rn.

but when you have time, give it a chance from another season closer to the beginning when things are more established and if you still don't like it, at least you gave it a try/chance.

i didn't get hooked until mid season 2 when all was said and done. season 2 is so special to me, and might be my favorite out of all the seasons, season 4 too but beyond that there's some good ones here and there and bad ones and a mixture. not everyone is gonna have the same love for it but i love hearing that you're mildly interested in it.

💌 thanks for messaging me.

[hopeintheashes]

March 2020 stuff under the cut. Long post. Edits for clarity and confidentiality.

I just needed to... process, I guess.

_ _ _

March 22, 2020: The Beginning of All of This

The Penzu prompt is: Why I'm Writing.

I'm writing because this is unprecedented. Because I might want to look back on it someday.

The journey so far. I've cross-checked dates with my texts, work calendar, and VPR as best I can.

Sunday, 3/8 - Time Change Sunday. I hate time change. I know it's going to be a rough week. I have no idea how rough.

Monday, 3/9 - Tired. The kids are tired. We end with take two of our department meeting. Good news, mostly. Next year is sort of starting to feel within reach. Williston and Wilmington are closed, but only as a very short term measure. The first confirmed case in Vermont was announced yesterday. It's in Bennington County. That's pretty far away.

Tuesday, 3/10 - Pretty normal day at work. Still tired. Haven't managed to switch over re: the time change. When I get home, there's an email from the Community Chorus director: Rehearsal is cancelled... because everything on campus is cancelled... because no one is allowed on campus... because they're closing down the campus... and sending all the students home. "What? What??" -- out loud. I had no idea this was coming. It feels like a physical, electric shock. I text K - are we still on for the Welcome to Night Vale this weekend? She's going to find out. They've just announced that there's an outbreak in New Rochelle. Woodstock isn't that close... but it's certainly not that far away.

Wednesday, 3/11 - Eval Planning meeting at School A. After the actual business, we talk about the coronavirus. What else is there to talk about? They're going to close the schools, my coworker says at some point in the day. It's not if, but when. I feel weirdly calm about that. Certainty is better than uncertainty. I text K: Regardless of what the venue decided, I'm not going to venture into the Hudson Valley. It seems safer to stay in Vermont.

Thursday, 3/12 - Three meetings back-to-back at School B. They're meetings that have been on the books for weeks, but still, I'm starting to feel the rush of trying to get everything done. Just in case.

Friday, 3/13 - Now I'm feeling the pressure. There's a 7:30 a.m. meeting with a parent. Five adults including me all in a room just big enough for a table for four. I've been vaguely worried about germs all week, but it's the first time that I think, we shouldn't be doing this. I don't know how to speak up about that. I try not to touch my face. By the end of the school day, my anxiety is running high. They're going to close the schools... right? What does that mean? No one knows. There's an email from the superintendent: The governor is holding a press conference tonight. I watch live. "We're not closing the schools." What do you mean, we're not closing the schools? Am I allowed to opt out even if I'm not personally in a high-risk group? Everything is upside down.

Saturday, 3/14 - My brother's birthday. I text him Happy Birthday. My sister-in-law is making him pie. They're not going out. His office is insisting that everyone come in in person. They're right next to the outbreak in New Rochelle.

Sunday, 3/15 - Admins have been in meetings all weekend. They're in meetings all day today. Another press conference: We are closing the schools. It's mandatory starting 3/18. We have two days to wrap everything up before we step into the abyss. They say the closing goes through 4/6. It still seems possible that we might be back then.

Monday, 3/16 - I'm at School A. We have almost exactly 2/3 of the kids there. As far as I know, it's the highest percentage in the district. I find out later that School B had 1/3. Someone says, "School C [the wealthiest in the district] had like 15 kids in the building." I believe it. The inequalities are already showing strong. [Context note: Those are near-exact matches for the percentage of each student body who qualify for free/reduced price lunch. These are the kids who need to be at school to be safe and fed. The ones whose parents can't stay home.]

After school: Staff meeting. We'd had an agenda... it's out the window. We're just trying to make it through the next two days. Everyone is facing this head-on. Pressing ahead. I half-expected things to fall into panic, but they never did. As I'm going to bed, we get a call: School is off for tomorrow. Yesterday was, it turns out, our last day with the kids. No fucking closure. None at all.

Tuesday, 3/17 - The superintendent says to think of today like a snow day, so I do. I do laundry, and dishes, and watch mountaineering films. One day at a time.

Wednesday, 3/18 - We go in in person. It feels wrong, but we have to pack up our rooms. School B > District Office > School A. Bouncing around, trying to keep our distance. In a lot of ways, it feels like the very end of the year. Spoken or unspoken, everyone is now operating under the assumption that we're not coming back.

Thursday, 3/19 - I go in briefly. Sign my Medicaid billing logs, make sure my coworker has what she needs to finish packing up the room, deliver the paperwork to the district office. And-- that's it. It's remote from here on out.

Friday, 3/20 - Two virtual meetings, then trying to figure things out, then one more virtual meeting. Everything's moving fast, inconsistent. Frustration is starting to build.

Saturday, 3/21 - Finally, some good things: a 3-hour Google Hangout with my college friends.

And-- that's where we are. I'm watching the UU service. Starting to read Rumi. Hopefully convincing Mom and Dad that it's time for them to learn how to do video calls.

More later. We go on.

_ _ _

March 29, 2020: Another Week In

Another week. I'm busy. Busier than I was before. It's weird.

Mon, 3/23 - Fri, 3/27 - Just... work. So much work. Trying to figure out how any of this is going to work.

Thursday, 3/26 - The governor announced that we won't be going back for the rest of the year. It was the next logical step... it still feels like a loss.

Somewhere in all of that, I had a moment of sheer hopelessness, like I've never had before: a flash of, if it's always going to be like this, what's the point in going on? Just a flash, but it scared me.

I talked with friends (phone call or video call) almost every day this week. It helped.

Yesterday, I caught up on sleep. I think. I was still really tired. Some lovely person on Ao3 went through my whole catalog with detailed, pull-quote gushing comments. It was a very nice ego boost. :-)

Today, I watched a different UU service (it was okay), did laundry, went shopping, cleaned all the groceries, did virtual Community Chorus rehearsal, and practiced guitar. That makes me sound productive. I was, in the sense that I got all that done. I also just about panicked about steeping foot outside my house (and into another enclosed space; walks outside are still fine), and was in pain from cramps for hours this afternoon and evening. So.

I think there's a post about gratitude. Maybe I'll make that one separately.

_ _ _

March 29, 2020: Gratitude

In the midst of inexorable low-level panic and the kind of abject hopelessness I thought I'd banished from my life, I've been trying to focus on the positives. It sounds superficial and fake. It's not. I don't think. So, things I am grateful for:

At this exact moment, as far as I know, I and the people I love most in the world are healthy and safe.

From everything I've heard so far, all of my students are housed and fed and accounted for.

I still have a job, and a paycheck, and health insurance, and meaningful work to do on a schedule that looks a lot like it usually would, except that I get to sleep in by an hour.

Levels of video chatting with friends that hasn't happened since they were studying abroad a decade ago (and with much better technology, this time!).

Video chatting with my parents - I've finally convinced them to give it a try!

I have a piano and a guitar and a violin and a mandolin and a clarinet and a flute in my house, and I have been playing two of those things.

As much as being alone sucks (I literally don't know when the next time I will get to touch another human, or even an animal), it does mean that I have control over my environment in a way that does bring my anxiety down.

I found another series to love.

My house is slowly becoming cleaner in the "neater and tidier" sense, as moving around and putting things away is a desirable break after several hours of staring at a screen.

It's walking weather, and the crocuses are starting to appear.

_ _ _

from a later entry: May 23, 2020: Every time I go out, it is into a different world

Sun, March 29 - laundry, groceries

Laundry felt dangerous. I don't have it written down any time between March 6 and March 29. I'm not 100% sure that's right, but it could have been... I think I did four loads. Hand sanitizer, avoiding others. Hot water in the washer; everything through the dryer. Just about holding your breath in between.

A few people had started wearing masks. Hardly any. No masks on staff. First visit with plexiglass shields for cashiers. A few employees wearing masks, but not many. Very few cleaning supplies of any kind. Very few eggs. Almost no flour, although I did snag some. 

From March 18-April 17 (School Closure through Spring Break), everything was full out, all the time, all day, every day. Mind-numbing, exhausting, stressful, feeling like you're failing at everything all the time. One of the administrators tried to ban the expression "building the plane while we're flying it" and the word "overwhelmed." I… think he was kidding?

Wed, April 15 - groceries

  First time wearing a mask in public. Now, at least half the people were doing the same. That weird, involuntary grin of, holy shit, this is happening, the world has turned upside down, this is not a drill kicked in when I passed the first set of other customers wearing homemade cloth masks (not bandanas, not those neck gaiters you can pull up over your face, made-for-the-purpose honest-to-god face masks). I was glad that because of the mask, they couldn't see my face and misinterpret it as excitement - it was a thrill, but a thrill of adrenaline, of, alright, so we're doing this, of, we're off to war.

  Not 100% of staff were wearing masks, but definitely more than last time. Got a little more flour, but it was still in short supply. I think this was the week that most everything was back in stock (except toilet paper, Lysol, or hand sanitizer), certainly everything in the produce section, but weirdly - no bananas. Just that day. Or two weeks; how would I know.

_ _ _

April 10, 2020: Two More Weeks

Two weeks since I went grocery shopping. Two weeks since I did laundry. Two weeks since I was in a shared enclosed space.

I've stopped walking around the block. Too many people. Now I'm in the woods.

I'm finding parts of the park I never knew existed. Going off on trails on a whim. I found the waterfall.

Everything feels both sped up and slowed down. There's so much to do for work. The district's lawyer described it as drinking from a fire hose. That feels... more right than not.

I keep thinking I should go grocery shopping. This internal sense of time. It's time to go to Hannaford's. It's time to wash my clothes. When I actually look in the cupboard and the fridge and the closet, though, I have enough. I'm doing fine.

Even my bank account is fine. For the first time since I moved up here, I'm not worried about money. This morning, after my paycheck and before I paid my credit card bill, I had $6000 in the bank. It's been years. If the stimulus check comes through, I'll get $1200. It doesn't feel fair. I still have a job. Some people are going to donate theirs. I can't bring myself to give up the piece of mind.

Every time I talk to Mom and Dad, they're so-- unworried. They're being careful, but they don't seem stressed. I think it helps that they're up on the hill. No one in sight but the cows.

I feel like I should be writing. The barrier is the amount of time. I think it's been a year.

I think I need to eat something real. I'm not sure what. Or maybe sleep. I don't know what I want. Nothing sounds good.

I listed to As It Is' album The Great Depression on repeat while I was out walking. It felt good, and now it feels insubstantial.

It all feels insubstantial.

I think I need to eat. I definitely need to make bread. I'm out. There's still crackers, and tortillas, and stuff like that. I'm not too worried. But I should probably make some bread.

I feel like I'm failing all the time.

And then I go in the woods and I don't feel like I'm failing. It snowed today. Big fat flakes. Then back to rain. Snow-rain-snow-rain, all my rain gear slick but I was warm and safe, sliding in the mud.

I see my kids and I don't feel like I'm failing. I found a way to put away my school stuff, and that didn't feel like failing.

Productivity is good. And exhausting. It's hard to tell the difference between inertia-exhaustion and hard work-exhaustion.

And I'm always in pain. All this sitting around is terrible.

I need to get up and eat.

_ _ _

April 10, 2020: update from two hours later

I ate real food.

It helped.

_ _ _

Epilogue: August 17, 2020: Two to go

Last entry was three work days left. Today's is two days until work begins.

Summer has been... summer: walking in the woods in the rain and sleeping weird hours and cleaning my entire house and watching entire shows in one go.

In a lot of ways, the strangest part was not being able to camp with A, not because of lockdown, but because her baby is too young. Like the downtown construction, might as well consolidate all the weirdness into one year.

Some parts feel normal. Someday (I assume) we'll be able to go back into indoor spaces with strangers and not wear masks. To hug our students and give high-fives. To visit family without checking the map to see if it's allowed. For now, though, the masks at least feel normal. Feel safe. Feel right. It's going to be a long time before I feel safe around strangers again.

_ _ _

postscript: and then i spent a year processing it all through fiction.

[kunaigirl]

Mega-post of everything I've come up with for my FNAF-SB AU with Sundrop and Miguel! All in one place, a TON of text under the "read more" below! I'm mostly putting this all here so my own forgetful ass doesn't lose track of what I made canon so far or not lmao

Who is Miguel?

Miguel is a Supervisor and Robotic Mechanic who was hired to make sure all the robots are working in proper order, and ended up hitting it off with Sundrop more than any of the other animatronics! He's in his early 30s (I'm thinking 31 or 32) and is bisexual! He also speaks a few different languages, including English, Spanish, and Latin. His current job is being head of the Pizza-Plex's Robotic maintenance team and occasional security monitoring. He also has previous experience working in retail, mall security, and car mechanic shops! His favorite hobby's include doing puzzles, watching baseball, and playing video games. He's a pretty chill guy, but can be socially awkward when around other people, which is why he's spent so much time and focus on robotics over the years. How did Miguel and Sundrop end up together?  Miguel and Sundrop start building a friendship during the all the maintenance checks, and it reaches a point where Miguel starts taking his breaks in the DC with Sunny whenever he's able to. From there, he even starts coming in to visit off the clock, and the two of them get even closer as time goes on.

After a while, Miguel starts to notice how much he's always thinking about Sun, and how he's never felt a connection like this with anyone else before, let alone a robot he was hired to work on. He realizes that he's developed a crush on him, but keeps it to himself to avoid any awkwardness. (Also to keep his job...?) It's not until he stumbles upon a drawing Sundrop later made (in the DC) that made it clear that Sun had also had feelings for him too. He put the drawing back and didn't bring it up for a while, still processing everything. (This was around 4 months into their already strong friendship.)

Fast forward to the following week, and Miguel decides it's finally time to pull Sun aside and talk about their feelings. He mentions finding the drawing and Sun is beyond embarrassed, until Miguel confesses everything he'd been feeling too. He also brings up his concerns with what it would mean for his position of supervising mechanic if they were to start dating, so they mutually decide to keep things secret. Since (at least for now, see events planned for later) Sun still can't leave the multiplex, they really don't want to risk him being fired. Even keeping things a secret though, they're happy together! 

Note! It's canon in this AU that he wouldn't be fired for it, because he's the best mechanic they've ever worked with. As long as their relationship stays "off the clock" there isn't actually a problem. However, these two don't know that yet, so it's staying hush-hush for now. I'll come up with more later too! I have a few ideas!

What about Moondrop? Where does Moon factor into all this?

To answer this question I gotta give a little backstory to what I already had as head-canons about Sun and Moon since FNAF-SB first came out, and how it factors into my AU from there! 

I always had the headcanon that they were both separate robots with separate cores/etc that were transferred into a singular body due to budget constraints. (The idea of the budget cuts being that extreme is backed up by the canon events of the pizza plex going out of business in SB-ruin.) So I've always had the idea that Sun (and Moon's) shared body had two separate cores, and therefore COULD be separated again if a second body could be found/built/etc. That being said, in my AU, Moon gets his separate body back! When Miguel first meets Moon, they're basically always butting heads and otherwise indifferent to each other. Moon is super jealous, but not in a romantic sense. It's more of the fact that this new-guy (like seemingly everyone else) likes Sun better. He's bitter, but they don't really hate each other. After spending more time with Moon, Miguel learns about how he misses the freedom of his former body, and decides to take matters into his own hands. He also is already very aware of how much Sun hates sharing a body, so his mind is set on a win-win. 

He starts campaigning to the CEO why it would actually be MORE profitable to give Moon his body back instead of having him be stuck inside Sun and vice-versa. Things about product sales, reputation, increased moral, less liability potential, and all the buzzwords that would paint things in the right light to someone who's running a business. He also gets a few other employees to back him up, mostly from the security team. IT WORKS! And Miguel is given the task of transferring Moon back into his separate body, which has been locked in an external storage unit since they were combined. It takes a while to be shipped back to the plex, and when it finally arrives, the DC is closed for a while while he goes to work right away. Sun is excited, but horrified at the same time. 

He's excited for both himself AND Moon, but the thought of being completely powered-down for however long it takes scares the shit out of him. He loves and trusts Miguel obviously, but this is a HUGE deal and is the most invasive and extensive job he'll ever get done. Miguel promises him that everything is going to be ok, and that he won't let anything bad happen to him. Sun cries in his arms. Later when he turns the lights off so he can inform Moon of the plan, Moon is absolutely celebrating! Dancing and singing and spinning Miguel around. He doesn't care what it takes, if Miguel pulls it off, Moon will absolutely consider him the greatest friend he's ever had. He already sort of did the second he learned Miguel was pitching the separation idea in the first place. It takes almost a week, but it' successful. Moon and Sun are both reactivated, and for the first time in years, they look at each other as separate beings. 

They both temporarily put their differences aside for a truce as they both tackle Miguel to the ground, hugging him while absolutely SOBBING. They're both SO SO SO happy. Miguel can't help but cry with them, feeling like this might've just been the most important and impactful thing he's every done. Sun kisses him while Moon just clings to his shoulder and nuzzles his face against him saying how thankful he is on loop. That's also the first time Sun kissed him, as at this point they weren't even dating. The feelings were there and mutual, but at that point in the AU they were both still keeping those feelings to themselves. Obviously that changed after this.From that point forward, Moon and Sun are two separate robots again, and run the DC together. They're not best friends by any means, but they put up with each other enough to be perfectly sustainable coworkers, and both want what's best for the kids they're put in charge of. 

When Sun and Miguel officially start dating, Moon gives them their space, but sometimes likes to spy on them out of pure curiosity. Still, Moon would NEVER want to piss Miguel off since he feels so thankful for all he's done, and keeps everything mischievous that he might do pretty low-key. That's what I've got for now on that! I'll add more later. I want to include Moon more too, but the focus of this AU is obviously Miguel and Sun. More to come with that later!

What would be Miguel's reaction to finding Sundrop post SB-Ruin setting or after the fire?

So in my AU, Miguel would've taken off with Sundrop LONG before the events of SB-ruin. The events in the SB-Ruin game doesn't happen at all in this AU the way they did in canon! In my AU, the SB animatronics are auctioned off by the company after the closure announcement because WHY would they let all those extremely expensive mechanical marvels just rot away when they could still turn a profit? Anyways, Miguel would pull all of his money together (along with some of his friends willing to donate/help) and he'd successfully "buy" him. In this case buy his freedom/etc, and they move in together and live together! (along with Miguel's roommate, who has yet to have a name and design lol) *This is set/planned to happen in canon later! 

BUT ANYWAYS!!! If all that wasn't canon in my AU, and somehow Miguel DID get fired/etc and was separated from Sun during said events, obviously the second he heard about the fire he'd want to go back to investigate. If anything he probably assumed none of the robots would be there, and the SHOCK of finding Sun in such conditions would be extreme. Oh Sun would HATE him at first, even refusing his help since he thought he abandoned him like everyone else. 

However, the thought of getting his body fixed after so long is too good to pass up, so he agrees to leave with him and trust him to fix his body. He's got nothing left to lose, after all. Then his trust starts being rebuilt after everything physically is fixed and Miguel explains that he was fired and banned from the plex. That he NEVER meant to abandon him/etc. Then things heal from there and the tears are a-plenty. Still, the events in the SB-Ruin game are NOT canon in this AU!

Anyways, that's what I've got for now! I'll add more info as I think of it in future chapters. Like I mentioned before, this is mostly for my own reference!

[love-advice-on-call]

hellooo Kinda a weirder one i think

I'm kind of looking for advice on how to not feel jealous

My long distance BF was in a relationship with his best friend of 10 years (Dated her for the first 6, just friends for the last 4) Theyre close but have made it very clear their romantic feelings dont exist anymore. The Ex Gf is in a great relationship with another one of their mutual friends and my BF dated other people in between ex gf and me. My BF even talked about it to make sure and disclosed to me what broke them up.

Consciously i know i can trust them, and that i know i have 0 worries in this ending in betrayal, but there's a feeling in my heart that makes it hurt when they're acting close and i'm around. part of what's made me feel like it's subconscious was my first interaction was her sizing up my personality over phone to see if i wasn't a bad person/not fit to date her friend and i want her to like me because i love my bf.

How do I let those subconscious feelings go?? I worry it'll cause problems later if i can't.

Hmmm I think it will be hard to let go of those feelings for you and I can see why. I mean, regardless of best friend or not, they dated for 6 years and have been friends for 4. That's a pretty big deal and a large amount of time to get to know someone. It can magnify when you are long distance and I get the feeling of this making you feel hurt to see them so close.

Truth of the matter is, you don't have the relationship your boyfriend and his best friend have. I don't know how long you two have been dating, but she's got the 10 years on you regardless of the dating. Knowing someone for that long just builds up a strong relationship and even if they never dated you might still feel the same way you do now. You are his girlfriend though which is also a different relationship. One where you two are trying to build a life together and have an end goal to be together and I think you should try to focus on that.

Like you said, you have 0 worries of a betrayal and I support that. I mean the way you talk does sound like everyone here is honest and straight forward. I think if you want to get over these subconscious feelings, then you need to be more mindful when you do slip into the hurt and you should focus on building a stronger bond with your boyfriend. Maybe even get to know this best friend better so you too can see the kind of value she brings to his life so you get more comfortable with seeing her. I also think, if you haven't already, that you and your boyfriend figure out how and exactly when the long distance will be over. In was long distance with my girlfriend and what really pulled us through was knowing when we'd be together in person again. Having that goal really gave me confidence in knowing that we both took/take the relationship seriously since you plan where to live together.

You can also bring this up to your boyfriend if you want, but be careful how you choose your words and make sure he knows you have confidence in him and that it's more about the feelings you get when you see how close someone else gets to be with you. Not that you want to stop it, but that you want to get more comfortable. As far as being mindful, you can try meditating so you can catch yourself when you slip into thinking about how you may be hurt about this and remind yourself that he is your boyfriend and what you two are trying to build together. As far as building a stronger bond, this is difficult, but not impossible to do when long distance. Make sure you guys see each other. Send each other little letters, voice messages, just do what you can to let the both of you know you're thinking about each other in your daily lives. This requires effort from both ends and you should do this regardless of this best friend situation. Have something to look forward to when you can't be around each other. You'll know for sure this is effort that his best friend isn't getting and he'll know that you're thinking about him on the daily.

Posted June 28, 2024

[monika-apexart]

Monika Rycerz in NYC, Day 31

Sunday, August 6th

The Met Cloisters in the morning. It was far north, about an hour away, so I decided to try to get there earlier than scheduled. Getting up a slight hill through the park was challenging (my body probably not feeling very proud of me atm). As soon as I walked into the garden I felt a sense of so much needed slowing down. It’s the first time I felt like I was  on holiday, the places reminded me of  somewhere in Europe and later on the patio made me think of a Roman villa we visited in Sicily a few years ago. I allowed myself ample time to explore, sit down with a cup of coffee and a delicious almond tart. I think I spent more than two hours there, being a tourist, not having to talk to anyone. The place felt so familiar and comforting in a way.

Giving myself lots of time at the Cloisters (strange name btw) meant I didn't have time for gallery crawl, but equally no regrets. On my way to the subway I had to walk through a very long tunnel under a street level and I thought to myself there is no way I would walk into this at night! I rushed home for a speedy lunch and on the move again. 

My next and final stop (activity) was attending Jamaica Independence Church Service. The journey was long, but smooth. When I arrived the man at the door looked at me slightly confused as if I was lost, but when I asked if I could enter he welcomed me with a smile. Everyone was dressed up, many people wearing colours of the Jamaican flag - black, green and yellow. The choir was already singing. People kept coming, and the atmosphere was very relaxed. Again, I’m the only white person in the room. I feel somewhat assured that people around me know more than anyone else what it feels like to be different. I don't feel judged, but I feel very self conscious. It's like I snuck into a wedding of someone I don't know. I feel different from everyone else, like they are not my family, I don't belong. I have no connection to Jamaica. But I feel that it's ok for me to be there. It's not a crime. People may be surprised, but they're welcoming. I will never know what it is like to be black, this is for sure. We may change our beliefs, citizenship or gender, but we can't change our ethnicity. 

The service was actually a celebration of 61 years anniversary of Jamaica independence. The preacher keeps saying that Jamaicans are proud and strong, they're chosen, they're destined to be number one in everything. This does not sit well with me. Doesn't that become problematic if we say this to every congregation? Doesn't that create more division? 

Anyway, the atmosphere is ecstatic, it's loud, it's colourful, and full of joy. Choir is singing, people are dancing, singing. I leave after 3 hours, they are still going, I leave uplifted. I’m left wondering how did it all happen? How the sombre, serious, fear imposing catholic church evolved into this? I'm confused more than ever. 

Long distances today. I found myself reading an article about a couple who went hitchhiking to a festival 50 years ago and never returned. Fascinating. Just realised that altogether I spent around 4 hours on the public transport today.

I returned to the apartment and felt a sense of relief. Today was my last day of the fellowship. I wondered why the relief and from what? And realised that it’s a relief from not having to be experiencing so many new things everyday. 

This was a perfect day to end the fellowship. I have a lot to process.

As of tomorrow I’m in charge of my time again (to some extent). 

P.S. I felt guilty for abandoning the Havdalah people yesterday, so I sent my apology to the organiser.

[its-maemain]

So this morning as I struggled to want to get up an AU came to me. I've been struggling on how to word some of this so bare with me.

This got longer than I thought it would but here:

Lois Lane and Clark Kent find out they're having a child later on they find out it's a girl, they're overjoyed and shit. But their relationship is on the down low, and everyone in Metropolis is convinced that Lois and Superman not only have a thing for each other but are together(which they aren't wrong). So when Lex Luthor finds out Lois is pregnant he comes up with a plan(cause his blad ass thinks he's so smart). And he does succeed.

Clark has to go off planet for [intergalactic problem here] and so he's gone for a few months during Lois’s pregnancy. So while Superman is away Lex is like ‘yes my plan will go so much easier now’ and so Lois gives birth, after she(the baby) is put in the baby ward thing, Lex steals their daughter. He gives her this serum that (in theory) blocks her powers till something triggers them. It does work but he doesn't know what will trigger it or how well it works.

He decides to put her as far away from them as possible on Earth tho. So she's in France getting adopted by the lovely couple who own a bakery and want a child. They can't due to biological complications, and Lex can watch them easily ( he knows French ig for this ). And they get to name her cause she doesn't have name.

So enter Marinette Dupain-Cheng the adoptive daughter Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng. There are some things they just can't explain about their daughter, they love her very much. Shenanigans my beloved, shall ensue.

But she's so small and doesn't have a lot of muscle how is she carrying this bag of flower at the age of 10? OH NO BOILING WATER GOT ON HER SHES GONNA GET BURN MAR- oh, she's okay...? MARINETTE DONT STARE AT THE SUN! They go to the doctor to check her eyesight, she has perfect vision. Marinette the fastest kid in her class, faster than Kim and Alix, they're playing hide and seek? Oh Mari is up a tree!

Back with Clark and Lois, Superman threatens Lex or talks to Bruce or something idk. Jon is made or born 2 years later(idk his story sometimes he's a clone sometimes he's not???!) when Mari is 2, then two more years later Con is born(I know for a fact he is born) so Mari is like 4. Bruce is doing the blood thing, but Lex has that shit under strict supervenience. And while raising the boys they learn what they should look for.

Tom and Sabine conclude that Mari is a Meta, talk to her about this when she is like 12, than when she is almost 14 she searches this stuff up and she's like “okay, no powers” well that gets thrown in her face when she was left with being Ladybug. Lex can't watch her anymore cause Paris closed itself off!

How being Ladybug affects Marinette:

She is still really strong even with that serum not letting her be at full strength so now that she has the Miraculous it enhances her already enhanced strength so she has to pull her punches, and this is one of the main reasons why she uses her yo-yo and her brain in battles rather than brute force, cause she could kill the akuma. At least she thinks so, who knows, depends on the writer!

Post [What-ever-the-fuck version of Gabriel we're dealing with]:

There are two ways this can go! 1) Mari during her time as Ladybug and Guardian activated the trigger so she could use all her half-Kryptonian-ness or 2) somehow it wasn't triggered yet but it was at some point while being around JL. Probably from being around Superman and her body went “FATHERRRRR”

And why Clark hasn't figured out this is his daughter after meeting her? Magic suit y'all! Prevents him from using x-ray vision on her, so he doesn't see her hybrid organs. One thing is for certain Bruce wants to adopt her! He can't of course cause she has already been adopted, so instead, he offers her a place to stay in Gotham, all paid, and any school of her choosing in Gotham. She says she’ll think about it, and when she researched she was surprised, and decided why not! She can fight villains, build her career, see what she can do with her new activated power, *cough* get all that pent-up rage out *COUGH*!

One big problem tho, the Meta and Magic users ban, so she talks to him again, he's like I'm willing to adjust my ban, then he does a double take cause “meta?” cause guess what Brucie, you wanna take in a meta-magic user! So he adjusts his rules.

Time passes, a long time depends, but Clark and Lois go to this gala being reporters and friends with Bruce. This gala is also Mari’s first. She's been doing great, other than almost burning her room in the middle of the night a few weeks ago. But it's fiiiiine, they're all learning, and Damian has his suspensions.

Clark was area of Bruce having another kid in his wings, and he does his x-ray things like he does all the batfam, and that's when he sees it! She wasn't human, she was part human. So he takes her Bruce, and is like “you can't have this child” “why tf can't I!” “this is our missing daughter!!”

So after the gala they all sit down and talk this out, they call Jon and Kon to get their asses here to see their sister! They talk to Tom and Sabine and they’re willing to share custody especially cause of how this happened! Anyway big family in the end.

This has probably been done somewhere but I needed to get this written out. I really want to write this, but if anyone does tag me please! PLEASE!

Bonus points for any salt or angst. Just sayin

Edit: it really shows how I didn't know about Kon and it pains me everytime I get a notification for this. Excuse my dumbassery.

Jon is born two years after Mari, Kon is made whenever the fuck he’s made, so Kon is like twoish year's older than Mari growth wise?? Cause Damian and Tim are like five/six years apart? (supposed to be anyway but who gives a shit, apparently not the DC writers, cause like aren't they supposed to be idk 7-9 years apart?? I don't care really it gives better annoying the shit out each other I'm specific ways while in the same household prevogligous)

They call Kon cause, “you're family regardless and we found our daughter we want you to meet her, get yo ass over here”