#and as a result (or in my head anyways) i feel a lot more confident in pants as opposed to dressrs bc dresses dont really work for me

[straykats]

.

[b0r3dtod3ath]

Hello hi!

Can you do a challengers fic?

Art x reader, where he and reader had a flirty relationship but he started to experiment with tashi and patrick and she was like "well, it happens" but the trio didnt work out so he tried to recandle that dinamic between him and reader but she lost all the atraction to him.

(lots of groveling)

Thank you!

Thank you for the request!

Warnings: Mention of an injury, curse words. 

You and Art have been friends since middle school and since then he was always by your side. Your shared interest in tennis and joint decision about applying to Stanford resulted in you two being inseparable best friends. Well, maybe not really. Your relationship was quite hard to describe. People constantly mistook you for a couple but in reality you were just really close. Sure, there were a lot of flirtatious moments, some may even say romantic, but you never thought about it too deeply, thinking that it’s just the way Art is. 

Each morning he knocked vigorously on your dorm room door. “You need to wake up! We need to go.” The sight that he sees when you open the door always makes his heart skip a beat. Messy hair and a toothbrush in your mouth give him a glimpse of what it would be like if he was living with you. “Good morning!” He gives you a beautiful smile as he hands you a coffee in your favorite thermos. He insists on doing it because “it saves time in the morning as he’s up anyways”. Oh and also when you finish he takes the cup back to clean it so he doesn't bother you in the morning. His friend Patrick has always made fun of him for those small gestures but he recently got a girlfriend so he’s busy. Actually, you have heard of Tashi. She attends your school and you were supposed to play against her in a local tournament. You have heard that she’s really good but people also always point out your skills.

You head to the canteen, sipping your coffee as Art tells you about Patrick’s new girlfriend. It’s not like you are jealous but hearing your male best friend ramble about another girl is weird. You keep quiet, after all there was nothing romantic between you two. You eat your breakfast without saying much which goes unnoticed to your friend. He stops eating, looking at your face for a moment, trying to figure out what’s going on in your mind “I saw they had watermelon in the fruit section. I can bring it for you if you want. Did something happen? You know you can always talk to me. I will always be there for you.” The gentle tone in his voice almost feels like he is talking to a lost child, scared to make you withdraw. “No, no. It’s fine. I’m just a bit less confident about the next match. You know, after what happened a few days ago, my leg still sometimes cramps up a bit.” you halfy make up a lie. You were stressed about the match but it had nothing to do with your calf. “You should have told me earlier. I will massage it before we train today. You are going to do amazing".

He didn’t listen to your begging not to knead your muscle so you ended up with him rubbing it firmly enough to “help you” but gently enough not to hurt you. As you trained he could sense your frustration. Sure, it made you more confident on the court as you transferred your anger into each fore and backhand. Then suddenly you stop. Your opponent gives you a confused look as you out of the blue ignore the ball. “I don’t feel well. I’m gonna call it quits. I have a test tomorrow anyway that I should study for. I can’t be hitting a ball with a racket my whole life.” you look at him, his expression as shocked as a moment ago. “See you in the evening?” You two usually had some evening tennis sessions or just went for some walks as there were not many people around that time and you could freely chat about anything. “Well. I can’t actually make it today. I’m really sorry. Patrick invited me for some drinks. He wants me to meet Tashi”. His eyes looked like they belonged to a puppy. “Oh, yea. I mean. That’s fine. See you tomorrow then.” you say without giving him the usual light hug as a goodbye.

The following morning Art didn’t knock on your door. You assumed he must have been tired from the day before but it still felt unusual. You decided to push it aside and focus on yourself and your preparations to play against Tashi. The match started at 2 pm so you still had some time to get ready. You followed your usual routine with only one exception - your regular companion. 

The tennis court simmered under the midday sun, a gentle breeze whispered through the air, carrying a promise of an intense match. It was one of the most anticipated matches of the season on the Stanford campus. It was the end of a debate of who is the best tennis player among students but most importantly it was evidence of passion for sports and competition. You looked at Tashi coming on the court, getting a bigger applause than you did. You didn’t let it bother you, it didn’t matter who was the fan favorite, it mattered who was better. You were first to serve. Silence established itself on the court, a neon yellow ball bounced a few times between your hand and the ground. You looked deeply into your opponent’s eyes. It wasn’t a game of tennis, it was a battle for dominance. 

A thunderous serve from you, the ball sliced through the air with precision. Tashi returned it with equal force, the ball skimming just inches above the net. Back and forth you played, each stroke a testament to your skill and determination. The crowd watched in silence, fully immersed in the spectacle unfolding before them. As the match wore on, the intensity only seemed to grow. Tashi unleashed a powerful forehand, sending the ball to the other side of the net. But you were quick to react, sprinting across the court with lightning speed to return it with a perfectly executed backhand. The crowd erupted into applause, recognizing the sheer athleticism on display.  The game continued in this fashion, each player refusing to give an inch. Your muscles burned like they were on fire as you chased down every shot, your mind focused solely on victory. On letting her know who Art belongs to. 

Then, in a heartbeat, disaster struck. As Tashi ran to return a particularly fierce shot, her foot slipped. Time seemed to slow as she stumbled forward, her knee buckling beneath her weight. With a sharp cry of pain, she collapsed to the ground, clutching her injured leg. She started crying like a hurt animal, unable to think what people thought of her. You stood there in pure shock, unsure of what to do. In the corner of your eye you saw Art running up to her and trying to calm her down. 

You felt really bad for her. Not liking her didn’t mean you were happy for her injury. After asking the medical team about her, you got to know that she’s waiting for an ambulance. When you found her, your heart immediately dropped at the sight of Art holding her hand. “I just wanted to say, I’m so sorry it happened, I-” you started to apologize, “Out! Out! Out!” she screamed at you “But-” you tried to say something but Art stood up “Get the fuck out!”. He had never raised his voice towards you. He was always your gentle, soft, good boy. You silently walked away as hot tears rolled on your cheeks. The echo of your sobs filled your room for the whole night. 

For the next few weeks you didn’t see Art. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to see him, you did actually, but he was always accompanied by Tashi or Patrick. It did make you feel a bit lonely but you focused on training and improving. You actually started to do really well and moved up the rank. Despite an opportunity to get an apartment you stayed at Stanford. You told everyone that you would feel lonely living alone, but the truth was you just didn’t want to leave Art. He would still sometimes catch your glimpse across the canteen or the training hall but no words were exchanged. 

He found you one evening, your silhouette illuminated by the artificial glow of the light. You were alone, your movements fluid yet tense as you practiced your strokes with precision. Taking a deep breath, Art approached you cautiously, unsure of how you would react to his presence. "Hey" he said softly, his voice tinged with uncertainty. You turned to face him, your expression stone cold. You said nothing. A hint of bitterness in your eyes. "I-I just wanted to see how you were doing," he said, his words stumbling over each other in his nervousness. "What do you want?" you snapped, you tone sharp and cutting. Determination glinting in his eyes. "I saw you playing alone, and I thought... maybe you could use a partner," he offered hesitantly. You scoffed, your grip on the racquet tightening as you glared at him. "And why would I want to play with you?". Art took a step closer, his gaze unwavering as he met your overwhelming stare. "Because I miss playing with you, I miss you" he admitted softly. "And because I'm sorry. Truly sorry for what I did." You hesitated for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you considered his offer. “Don’t you have to take care of your little Tashi’s leg?” you said under your nose. "Fine. But don't expect too much" you warned.  

As you began to play, your movements were sharp and precise, your shots landing with deadly accuracy. Art did his best to keep up, but he couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach. You had always been better than him but he could sense something else. After all, tennis was the most intimate out of all sports. Suddenly, you unleashed a powerful forehand that sailed towards Art with an alarming speed. Instinctively, he raised his racket to block the shot, but it ricocheted off the strings with a resounding thud, leaving him staggering backwards. "Are you trying to kill me or something?" he exclaimed, his heart racing as he moved closer to the net. You turned around -  a little habit you gained, you never looked at your opponent after scoring a point. "Maybe," you replied nonchalantly, your tone betraying a hint of amusement. Art chuckled nervously, rubbing his sore arm where the ball had made contact, as he got closer and closer to you. "Well, you can kill me if you want," he offered, making you chuckle. He reached to touch your hand, his expression pleading, as you turned. "Please. I know I messed up, but I can't stand not having you in my life. I... I have feelings for you. And I need you to know that. I don’t see you as just a friend." You felt your heart skip a beat at his confession, your breath catching in your throat. You had suspected as much, but hearing him say the words out loud sent a jolt of electricity through your veins. "I... I don't know, Art” you responded, torn between the anger still simmering inside you and the warmth of his words. "You ditched me for her. "Art nodded, his eyes brimming with regret. "I know. And I'm so sorry. I was weak and I thought you would never look at me the same way I look at you. I'll do anything to make it right, I swear." he got on his knees, both hands holding yours. “I will never leave your side, I will show you how much I love you and I will buy you this diamond bracelet you always wanted.” You chuckled “Art, get up. I don’t need a bracelet from you. I will give this a chance.” A smile broke across Art’s face, relief flooding his features as he reached out to wrap you in a tight embrace. "Thank you, I promise, you won't regret this." he murmured, his voice thick with emotion and eyes wet with tears. You returned the hug. The two of you swayed for a moment before you broke the silence with your dead serious tone. “Never raise your voice at me again, understand?” He looked deeply in your eyes. “Understood, maam. I’m incredibly sorry”.

April 29, 2024

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

WHIPPED

Pairing - Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Summary - You strain from your husband who will not give you attention. He doesn't like that.

Warnings - NONCON, domestic violence, dub con, manipulative, belt whipping, spanking, tommy is mean, degrading words, breeding kink.

Word count - 3k+

Notes - You voted, you received.

Something in Tommy’s intellect changed overnight. Every once in a while, his mind would travel back in time to the war. But now, when he awoke from his nightmares, he still felt like he was crawling through the tunnels. The hairs on the back of his neck stuck up more frequently, his hand rested on his gun a lot. Feeling too skeptical that he’d need to fire it at any second. 

It had impacted your newly wedded marriage, but you didn’t dare to say anything to him. You showed you cared by holding him a little tighter at night. Whilst he laid on the bed like a stone figure, staring up into the ceiling as he refused to fall asleep. 

The sex had turned emotionless like flowers dying without water. The intimacy was dead. It made you down in the mouth and filled your heart with despair. You only wanted to kiss him, talk to him, be held by him. But he had forgotten who you were. 

Over the weeks, your sadness turned into anger. You refused to be upset by his neglect any longer. So, you found other ways to find pleasure in your life and quickly realized that the only way to get your husband’s attention was jealousy. It frustrated Tommy when you started to ignore his presence, venture out without informing him and associating with his family more than him. Tommy would lecture you, wagging his finger at you. You’d only simply nod your head, awaiting for it to be over. Then it would repeat all over again. But Tommy’s mind was too caught up in his business to find the time to truly teach you a lesson. 

Until now, the surprisingly last straw was Arthur whispering something into your ear, resulting in you playfully slapping his shoulder and giggling like a teenager. Tommy’s head snapped to you two, everyone in the reading room still watching Tommy as he awaited for you to acknowledge him. 

After a pause, you finally looked up to Tommy and the stare off commenced. Your eyebrows were furrowed as Tommy’s eyes twitched, he knew you had never been unfaithful. But his mind was now racing with thoughts of the possibility occurring if he didn’t put a stop to his behavior.  

“Well, we will have a break. It seems that my wife has forgotten her manners and I must reteach them…” Tommy declared confidently as he lit another cigarette between his cold lips. 

All heads snapped towards you and Arthur’s face turned beet red. 

“Thomas” you sighed as you pressed your hand to your forehead, cheeks turning a shade darker from embarrassment. 

Any other time, Tommy adored it when you called him by his full name. But this time, he felt as if you were challenging him, trying to humiliate him in front of his family. Tommy took three large strides towards the door and motioned for you to exit in an exaggerated manner. When you merely continued to stare back at him dully he snapped. 

“Get the fuck up!” Tommy raised his voice, causing everyone in the room to flinch. 

Tommy’s eyes were strained, a vein popped out of his forehead as his hands formed to fists. 

“Tommy” Arthur protested, leaning forward in his seat. 

Arthur was always so loyal to Tommy, but grew to be highly protective of you. He was prepared to cop the fire instead, take a beating if he had to. It was his doings anyways, not yours. 

“It’s alright Arthur” you soothed his guilty look, looking confident even though your heart was pounding in shock at your husband’s outburst. 

Tommy saw red when you reassuringly pressed your hand to his chest. Without waiting any longer he marched towards you. You jumped up from your seat before he could yank you up. But he still latched onto your bicep and pulled you out of the room with no care as you winced from his hold. 

“Tommy… You’re hurting me!” You cried as he pulled you up the stairs. 

There was no answer from him. Only the sounds of grunts through his hard expression as he led you to the bedroom. Shoving you into the room, Tommy slammed the door shut and stomped around in circles, his hand tugging at his roots as he heard the shouts and cries of his fallen fellow soldiers. Your arms crossed over your chest, a frustrated expression set on your face by glue. 

“Thomas you’re being dramatic” you pointed out, shaking your head at his behavior. The embarrassment had drenched you completely, he was too furious to notice how awful he had made the situation. 

Tommy’s head shot towards you and he glared at you. 

“Pardon? You parading yourself around my brother in front of my entire family is nothing more than me being dramatic!” Tommy roared as he marched towards you. “Why don’t you fucking respect me!” Tommy yelled, his pale skin now red as he grabbed onto your shoulders in a warning touch. 

His anger spattered onto you as you felt your chest tighten, you scoffed at his words, not intimidated by his hold on you. “Oh calm down Thomas!” You hissed at your husband. 

You fell to the fall before the pain even shot from your cheek. Before the redness even grew on your timid skin. You choked out in shock as you raised your hand to the burning sensation on your cheek. The back of Tommy's hand was still positioned in the air from where he hit you. Tommy had never hit you before, he had vowed to never do it. 

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down” Tommy growled.

Swiftly, he bent down to yank you back up to your feet. When you struggled against his hold and tried to smack him away he hit you again with the front of his hand this time. Then he hit the other cheek just as hard. You screamed out in fear but his hand was swift to smack over your mouth. 

“Who do you fucking think you are? Huh! You wear my name! You’re in my house!” Tommy lectured, shaking you around like a ragdoll before he shoved you back to the ground. 

Tommy went back to walking around in circles, his hand roughly massaged his chin as he wondered what to do with you. His disobedient wife. You laid on the floor, frozen in fear as you stared at his polished shoes twirling around the room. With your hands pressed against your stinging cheeks, tears shedded from your aching eyes. Your sobs were silent and rough. 

A heavy sigh left his lips as he looked down to you. Slowly, he undid his belt and slipped it out of the loops of his pants and folded it in half. Tommy fell back onto the brown leather armchair in the corner of the room and lightly slapped his belt against his knee. 

“Come here, lay over my knee my darling…” Tommy spoke in a soothing voice, but had a wicked grin on his lips. 

You looked up at him with fearful eyes, then your stare was stuck on his belt slapping against his pants. Knowing his intentions, you whimpered out pathetically and shook your head against the floor. 

“N-no” you objected weakly. 

“It wasn’t an offer” Tommy grunted, he leaned towards you, the grip on the leather tightened. “Do it before I show you how strong my foot is” Tommy warned, tapping his foot impatiently.

It took you a moment to get up, you were too busy having a little silent breakdown as you whined at his response. The smirk on his lips grew larger as he watched you gradually crawl towards him, wincing to yourself as you climbed up onto his lap and laid stiff on top of him. 

Tommy sighed as he pulled up your dress, his hand rubbed your ass briefly before he yanked down your panties to your knees. The leather brushed over your backside and you gripped onto his leg in fear as you sobbed quietly. 

“You seemed to have mistaken my kindness for weakness, my darling. I have no problem with showing you my ruthlessness, the many tales you heard of me before we had even met” Tommy explained as he dragged the belt all over your skin. 

“You’re scaring me Tommy” you sniffled out. 

The inside of your throat felt swollen and your chest ached. A harsh slap with the belt landed on your rear. It caused your panicky yelp to echo throughout the room. When you tried to impulsively wiggle yourself off of him he smacked you again with the leather. 

“You’ve lost your privileges to address me by my first name, correct yourself right now!” Tommy ordered, his hold on his belt tight as his free hand went around your back to keep you trapped. 

“Tom-uh Mr Shelby?” You answered unsurely, your expression wincing as your shoulders raised. 

“Good girl!” Tommy praised as the belt smacked against your rear again. 

You chortled out as he continued on with your punishment. Quickly, you lost count with how many times he hit you as he flicked his wrist in a haphazardly manner. Sometimes he’d focus purely on one cheek. Or do slow and heavy smacks across every inch of your skin. Then he’d do quick stings across your rear. 

“Please stop!” you begged, your voice dry and weak, your mouth pressed against his knee as you tried to muffle out your cries. 

“Aw, my darling can’t take it anymore eh?” Tommy chuckled. 

He dropped the belt onto your back and rubbed your tender backside with his bare hand roughly. 

“Please I love you Tommy!” you exhorted, desperately hoping this would ease his suspicions. 

The screech was piercing when he smacked your bruised skin wickedly with his palm. 

“Correct yourself, whore” Tommy spat. 

‘Ah! I love you Mr Shelby” you sobbed out. 

Your head fell back down to his knee, your teeth bit into his leg to silence yourself but he didn't mind. Surprisingly, the pain felt nice to him. 

“That’s a good girl…” Tommy grinned, rubbing your ass again roughly as if he was praising you. “I’m going to beat your ass beyond breaking point. Then I’ll know you’ve learnt your lesson” Tommy addressed. 

“No Mr Shelby please! I understand!” You protested as you squirmed over him. Tommy was quick to hold you on top of him as you tried to swing your body onto the floor. “Please forgive me! I won’t do it again!” You pleaded as you tried to blink back your tears.   

“Stay still before I hit you with the buckle!” Tommy threatened, his words hissing like a viper. 

You mewled out, but listened to his demand. Tommy picked up his belt again and proceeded to whip you with it. 

When your cries had died down and you laid still on him, Tommy dropped the belt to the ground and rubbed your black and blue rear. When his fingers rubbed against your slit, he grinned to himself as he brought them into his sight. They glistered in your fluid and he sucked his fingers clean, moaning to himself at your sweet taste. 

“Seems like I wasn’t the only one that enjoyed this”' Tommy commented as his fingers returned to your cunt, fondling with your folds and teasing your nerves by randomly pushing in a digit. “Have you learnt your lesson?” Tommy cocked an eyebrow to you. 

As you tried to turn your head back towards him, you nodded to him. “Yes Mr Shelby” you spoke out breathlessly. 

“Which is?” He questioned. 

You choked on your words as you blinked back your tears. “To be a good wife to you!”

“Such a good wife…” Tommy soothed as he caressed your bruised ass. “Stand up and strip for your husband” he instructed as he leaned back into his seat. 

Through gritted teeth, you stood on your two feet and slowly stripped till you were completely nude in front of him. Your body shook like a leaf in the wind as you resisted not to cover yourself with your arms. Tommy sighed to himself as he looked your heated figure up and down, and then he pulled out his length and gradually stroked himself a couple of times. Not failing to express how aroused he was through his groans. 

“Come here and sit on my cock eh?” 

“Mr Shelby please” you begged weakly, eyes stinging with discomfort. 

Tommy leaned forward and pointed his finger to you. “Shut up before I change my mind, bend you over and fuck your ass” he warned, his pointed finger completely still. 

You nodded your head like a begging dog and practically ran over to Tommy despite the pain that shot through your rear. You straddled your husband, his hands were on your hips as he grinned up to you, his cock pressed against your inner thigh. 

“Who do you belong to?” Tommy asked as his length pushed into your throbbing, soaked entrance. 

“You Mr Shelby!” You answered through a groan as you slid down his shaft. 

“Good… No more talking to anyone, at all, without my permission eh?” Tommy commanded with a resolute nod. All you could do was nod back as he rocked his hips against yours, his fingernails dug into your flesh as your walls squeezed his size. 

“Mr Shelby” you whined out. 

“You’re mine” Tommy growled animalistically as he leant in to bite your neck. “Only fucking mine. You wanted my attention? You fucking got it” he grunted as he rutted himself deep inside of you. 

Your eyes rolled back as you held onto your husband tightly as he drew blood from your neck. The pain dissolved as the pleasure quickly built up inside of your core. Your mouth had fallen open as you were moaning out shamelessly, Tommy slapped your ass and you squealed. 

“You’re clenching around me so tightly darling, you want to milk me empty eh? Get yourself pregnant?” Tommy asked, his own breathing heavy as he pounded himself into you. 

“Yes Mr Shelby!”

“Keep on squeezing me then, just like that” Tommy coached as his hips thrusted at an immaculate speed. “Maybe another baby in this house would keep you tamed. Let’s give Charlie a little brother or sister eh?” He suggested, a proud smirk on his lips.

All you could do was hum in compliance as you clenched around him. It was so slippery you had to hold your body in place. His balls were slapping against you as you felt your climax climbing as high as it could. The scream from your hot lips echoed throughout the room as you held onto Tommy for dear life. He grunted in response, and shortly followed through with his own climax. 

Your body fell dead on top of him as you tried to catch your breath back. Through deep breaths, your chest rose and fell as your eyes remained shut. Tommy breathed out, his hands caressed your lower back as he inhaled your scent. He was still buried inside of you, he could feel your fluids drip out slowly. 

“Fuck, that was something else, wasn’t it my love?” Tommy asked teasingly as he patted your rear. 

You whimpered, tear stained eyes as you looked up to your husband, he smiled softly to you, you smiled softly back. He guided your hips up, his coated cock slipped out of your swollen entrance with a pop and he helped you onto your feet. 

After he slipped his member back into his pants, Tommy guided you to bend over the bed, you winced as you followed through and he examined you. Down on his knees, Tommy pulled your lips apparent with two fingers as he watched your mixed fluids drip out of you. His hands caressed over your abused skin as he stood back up again.

“If only you could see how beautiful you look my dear” Tommy sighed, his voice dark and husky. 

He pulled you back up and held you in his arms, your flustered body caved against him. Your knees buckled as Tommy held your weak stance up, he murmured to you, his face rubbed against yours like a needy cat.  

“You wanna come down for the rest of the meeting?” Tommy hummed in the crook of your neck. 

The thought of you going back down there frightened you, the humiliation of this sudden occurrence felt too overwhelming. Having all eyes on you would cause you to have a breakdown without a doubt, you knew they heard you, your cries had echoed to the fields. 

“No Mr Shelby” you answered timidly, sniffling to yourself as you tried to cry silently. 

“That’s alright, you rest up, you look exhausted. I’ll come check on you later, I have some business to attend to after this, okay?” Tommy spoke innocently as he led you to the bed. 

Tommy helped you in, you winced at the friction of your rear to the sheets but made no comment to your husband’s kindness. The covers were tucked in around you, Tommy petted your hair to the side and smiled at you. 

“Thank you Mr Shelby” your smile shaked, cheeks still a dark shade of red. 

“Sleep well my love” Tommy whispered before he planted a tender kiss on your lips. 

It’s what you missed so badly, instinctively, your arms reached up from under the sheets and tried to snake around his back. But your body felt so weak, you couldn’t bring yourself up. Tommy hummed and pulled your body up, his hold on your lower back as the sheets slipped down your body already, his tongue slipped straight down your throat as your tongue massaged him. As you moaned directly into his mouth, Tommy pressed your faces together as he gently laid you back onto the bed. 

“I love you” you whispered once more as your head fell deep into the pillow, your tired eyes remained shut. A low hum echoed out of Tommy as you quickly fell asleep. 

Tommy walked back down into the reading room. He knew everyone had heard everything, his eyes locked with Arthur’s. As he shot him a glare, Arthur lowered his head submissively as Tommy continued on with his discussions and concerns to his family.

[sanarsi]

Date with a Rockstar

rockstar!Frankie Morales x f!Reader

Part 1 of Sex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll Series

Summary: Frankie finally manages to invite you for a drink. Unfortunately, things go wrong and he ends up in jail. Warnings: +18, MDNI, protected PIV (implant), pussy eating (no one’s surprised, king will always be king), semi-public sex, car sex (on top! woah), creampie, soft!dom!Frankie, fight, blood, being arrested, mention of attempted rape, use of date rape drug (not by our sweet boy duh) Wordcount: 6,5k An: Without lying to anyone, I have to admit that Frankie is my personal favorite. He's just so gentle and sweet ughhh where's my Frankie :’( Anyway, I hope you like this version of him bc I really enjoyed this one! Music I worked with: Arabella - Arctic Monkeys

Masterlist

You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. Today you tried harder than usual. You were desperate to finally catch attention of the sexy bassist, who kept sending you glances.

You were desperate enough to put on one of the shortest dresses you had in your closet. You were desperate enough to put on lipstick that had been lying forgotten in your bag for months. You were desperate enough, that your gaze pierced through even your own reflection.

You looked good.

More than just good. You looked sexy.

Sexy enough that when you walked towards the bar, everyone gave you a slightly too long looks. It was a good feeling. Every glance, tickled your ego more and more, making you feel confident.

The clatter of your heels was your only anchor the moment you entered the crowded bar, and the melancholic aura hit all your senses at a dizzying pace. You had already gotten used to the atmosphere that reigned here. The stuffiness, loud music and barely functioning lighting. With time, you could even admit that you liked being here. It was a nice break from your rigid reality.

Here, no one knew you. None of your friends even knew about this place. No wonder, you came here especially from the other end of town.

You came especially for him.

A slightly withdrawn, sweet bassist with big puppy eyes, who played with his band every Thursday.

You immediately headed towards the bar, glancing at the band that was currently entertaining the small crowd. You winced at the squeaky voice of the vocalist and quickly moved to the other end of the room.

The bartender gave you a quick glance, smiling immediately when he saw the familiar face. You smiled back and, avoiding a collision with the slightly tipsy guy, stood at the bar, leaning against the counter.

“I thought I wouldn’t see you here today,” he asked casually, preparing a drink at the same time. You shrugged, watching as he skillfully mixed everything in the shaker.

Al, because that was his name, was the only one who kept you company during your weekly visits. You could say that you became somewhat friends. He was nice, funny and scared away the pests that sometimes hung around you.

“I thought you got to know me a little by now, Al,” you teased with a smirk. You both focused your attention on the drink he handed to some woman, after which he began pouring beer into two mugs.

“Oh yeah,” he snorted in amusement. “You couldn’t miss your Romeo’s concert,” he began, teasing you. You laughed, shaking your head and glanced towards the stage before focusing your attention on him again.

“Quite a lot of traffic,” you said to start a casual conversation. The man immediately perked up, snorting under his breath and mumbling a quiet ‘yeah’ before handing you a glass of cola. He had learned that trying to talk you into a drink never brought the desired result. You thanked him quietly and took a sip.

"They've been coming here like pigs to a barn since morning." You snorted, almost spitting out your drink, starting to choke, to which he just gave you an amused look. "It's Thursday, for fuck's sake. People don't go to work on Fridays or something?" he continued, serving another customer.

He gave a forced smile to the girl who gave him the tip, winking flirtatiously. All she had to do was turn her back to him, and he immediately rolled his eyes in boredom. He looked at you tiredly and finally had a moment to breathe. He reached for the drink hidden under the counter and took a large sip with relief. "These cunts have been after me since morning, too," he muttered, looking around the room.

"Oh stop it, they're just nice."

"Horny," he corrected you, raising his eyebrows when he returned his gaze to you. You nodded, taking another sip.

"True," you said, "but you can't blame them. You don't look like you're on the other side of the force," you explained, pointing at him with your hand. He looked at you with amusement and then snorted.

"Is that what it's called now? The other side of the force?" he asked, pushing himself away from the counter. “God, I really am getting old,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head with a wide smile, and began serving the next customer.

You turned around, leaning your back against the counter and began to watch the people dancing. It amused you that some people could dance to such crappy music. No offense, the new band that had been playing here for a week just sucked really bad.

"They're bad, aren't they?" A male voice rang out from near you.

You glanced to the side and almost had a heart attack when you saw the man you came here for. Your heart started beating so fast that you almost choked on air.

He was standing, leaning against the counter, maybe a meter away from you, watching the band with the same amusement as you had just a moment ago.

A mug of beer occupied his hand as his fingers slowly ran over the wet glass. You swallowed hard, observing his profile. Slightly disheveled hair under a baseball cap, an aquiline nose and a strong jaw covered with stubble.

Fuck, he was so damn handsome.

Your silence made him look at you and he slowly took a drink of beer. Dark eyes shone like two lanterns in the middle of the ocean. But they couldn't save you from drowning in his gaze. He licked his lips from the hop aftertaste and took a step towards you. You tried to breathe as quietly as possible because you had the impression that you started to pant at the sight of the sweet smile that appeared on his lips.

"Frankie Morales," he introduced himself, extending his hand towards you.

"I know."

Silence fell between you.

You stared at him, not even being aware of what you had just said. Only when he raised an eyebrow in amusement, gave you a sobering slap on the cheek. You closed your eyes, sighing in embarrassment at your behavior.

"I mean-" you started, wanting to somehow get out of the uncomfortable situation you had put yourself in. But his quiet laugh immediately made you fall silent, looking at him as if enchanted. He had a damn charming laugh.

"No, it's okay, I understand," he said, relaxing the whole atmosphere in a second.

Your stomach clenched pleasantly when you finally smiled gently and gave him your hand, introducing yourself. And maybe you were going crazy, but his hand held yours much longer than the situation required. Where he touched you, he left a trail of shivers that stirred your blood to such a state, that you immediately had to drink to cool yourself down.

Frankie leaned against the counter next to you, watching your every move, especially the way your lips formed against the glass, leaving a trace of lipstick behind.

"So..." he began slowly, deep down pleased by your reaction. "I see you here often. You come every Thursday, right?" he asked, wanting to start a conversation.

You nodded, setting the glass down and licking your wet lips. "Yeah."

His smirk only widened. He glanced at the bartender who was sending you not-so-subtle glances.

"I guess not to listen to them." He nodded towards the stage received an amused snort from you in response. He smiled, revealing his teeth as you looked at him with a furrowed brow and a sweet smile.

"No."

"I thought so," he laughed quietly and took a sip of his beer.

This was your chance.

You were finally talking to him.

You could finally show him that you were interested.

"Actually, I'm coming for your band," you said, looking towards the stage to calm the feeling of stress that was starting to grow unwanted in your chest.

"Yeah?" he asked, and for the first time, his gaze traveled down your body. He subtly lingered longer on your exposed thighs and he immediately felt saliva welling up in his mouth.

"Mhm," you hummed, nodding. You looked at him the moment he tore his gaze away from your body and felt a wave of heat as you realized you had his attention.

You knew your slutty dress would do the trick.

"Then you're missing out." You fell silent, staring at him incredulously. You mumbled a quiet, ‘huh’, as he took a sip of beer instead of immediately explaining what he meant. "We're much better at rehearsals."

"Rehearsals?" you frowned, still not understanding what he was talking about.

Did they have any rehearsals that you didn't know about? Did they play on different days? Al would have told you, right?

"Yeah, in the guys' garage, we get carried away more," he explained. But that only caused more confusion. Frankie saw it immediately and straightened up, quickly continuing.

There was no way he had become so hopeless at flirting.

"I mean," he snorted nervously and scratched the back of his neck. "That you should see it. If you're coming here for us, then you should witness a real show." He felt the stress starting to eat him up from the inside.

Why was he even nervous? He was good at it. He never had a problem with flirting.

The only problem was that this time his intention wasn't just to get you into bed.

"Sure," you smiled brightly, and a heavy weight immediately fell from his heart. He sighed with relief and whispered quietly, ‘cool’.

The sight of him like that, gave you a flock of butterflies in your stomach. He was just as stressed as you were, which gave you a strange sense of security. Suddenly it wasn't awkward anymore. You just stood there looking at each other with smiles, feeling the flow of warmth between your bodies.

“Shall I give you my number?” you suggested, raising an eyebrow as he continued to stand there without a word. Your question snapped him out of his suspended animation.

“Oh. Yes, please,” he nodded eagerly, to which you giggled quietly and looked away, searching for Al. Your attention focused on him, immediately drawing him like a magnet.

It wasn’t like he had been watching you from the very beginning, just waiting for some sign that you needed him.

“Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?” you asked, and you didn’t have to say anything more. He started rummaging under the counter and in a few seconds he put everything you asked for in front of you. You smiled gratefully, to which he winked at you and left.

“You’ve become friends in these two months,” Frankie noticed, watching you write down a series of numbers on a small, pink piece of paper.

“Yes, he’s a sweetheart,” you nodded, writing down the last two numbers, but before you lifted the pen from the paper, you felt waves of shivers. Two months.

He knew since you started coming here. He’d been watching you from the very beginning.

Your heart sped up as, without giving anything away, you folded the piece of paper and held it out to him.

“Thanks.” He smiled and took the note, deliberately touching your fingers. Such a small gesture caused a powerful wave of electricity that went straight between your thighs. You held back a moan and sighed quietly instead.

Applause echoed through the bar, so you both looked towards the stage, where the band was just leaving. You both knew what that meant.

“Hey, listen…” Frankie began, feeling a surge of adrenaline. He had to hurry to get to the stage on time. “Would you like to grab a drink after our set?” he asked much more confidently.

“With you?” You smiled wider, feeling like you had won the lottery. Your reaction was everything he could have wanted.

“Yeah I…” he trailed off and glanced towards the stage, where his friends were starting to line up. Pope’s gaze met his, signaling him to hurry up. “You know… I don’t really like sharing,” he finished, glancing at your smiling face. You looked cute. He regretted that he had no time to talk to you longer, but he sincerely hoped that everything would go his way and he could enjoy you later. And your gaze clearly told him that you would gladly let him enjoy you, not just over a drink.

“Okay,” you nodded, biting your lip, which didn’t go unnoticed by him. And it certainly didn’t go unnoticed by his dick.

Fuck, he regretted that he had to go on stage right now.

“Okay,” he repeated, holding your gaze until the sound of a microphone being set up echoed through the room. “I have to go,” he said, as if it wasn’t obvious enough for both of you.

You laughed sweetly at the energy that bubbling inside him. “Okay,” you nodded again.

“Okay,” he replied with a smile, starting to walk backwards towards the stage. You watched with amusement as people moved out of his way so he wouldn’t step on them, until he disappeared into the crowd, only to jump on stage a moment later. You snorted at the sight and took a sip of your cola.

“I thought he’d never dare to approach you,” Al said from behind you. You looked at him with a satisfied smile.

“The dress worked,” was all you said before the sound of guitar and drums echoed through the bar.

The concert had been going on for an hour, gathering more and more people under the stage. The later hour meant more and more customers. Al was busy, fulfilling several orders at once, so you were forced into the company of some guy who wouldn't leave you alone. Bored, you listened as he talked about his vacation in Asia, glancing at Frankie every now and then.

You saw the sweat glistening on his forehead as he watched his fingers play the strings. Every now and then his gaze would meet yours, and the smile he gave you would make you feel warmer and warmer. Only because of that, were you able to endure the company of a self-absorbed idiot, who thought that talking about how rich he was would somehow impress you. You were allergic to poseurs, and he was like a living example from the textbook „HOW TO AVOID LOSERS”.

Frankie had just started playing a solo, so you couldn't tear your eyes away from him, even if you wanted to. The voice of the man next to you stopped reaching your ears the moment the sounds of the bass guitar cut through the space.

You loved watching how devoted Frankie played. You could watch him for hours. Just like he could you.

That's what he did.

And that's why his heart beat faster when he saw something and that probably saved your life.

His smile disappeared and his fingers stopped plucking the strings. You frowned at his strange behavior. He looked in your direction, but his gaze was absent. But you quickly got answers to your unasked questions.

Frankie handed the guitar to Pope, not even looking to see if he aimed for his hand. People squealed in surprise when he jumped off the stage and began pushing through the crowd. Your heart beat faster when you saw him walking towards you. But his gaze was... different. He was furious. You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling a sudden wave of stress.

He was furious.

But why would he-

Then everything happened too fast for you to react.

Frankie walked past without even looking at you and clenched his fists on the guy's shirt. You jumped on the spot as he pulled him towards himself and threw him to the ground. The poser, whose name you couldn't even remember, was in as much shock as you were, so he didn't even have time to start defending himself as Frankie sat on him, pinning him to the ground with his weight. And then the first punch fell.

His fist connected with the guy's cheek, making him groan in pain. You covered your mouth with your hand, looking at everything in shock, and jumped on the spot as another punch split his lip and his blood appeared on the floor. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you watched Frankie ruthlessly deliver punch after punch. The guy underneath him, groaning in pain, spitting out another portion of blood. People gathered around, watching the spectacle, having a great time.

And you were terrified. You were shaking inside, paralyzed with fear.

Another punch.

His fist was bloody and furiously red from the force with which he punched his opponent's face. And when you gathered the courage to speak up and try to stop it all, his snarl froze you.

"She wasn't interested so you decided to rape her?"

You immediately looked at your glass and noticed in shock that at the bottom, there was something that was slowly dissolving. Cold sweat poured over your body as you realized what you were the victim of.

A rape pill.

"Fuckin’ son of a bitch," Frankie growled, and when you looked at him again, you saw him wiping blood from his lip, which was now cut. The almost unconscious guy had somehow managed to land one punch. But that was all he did.

It was his face that was all blue and bloody. He was the one lying there, barely breathing.

“Frankie,” you whispered in a trembling voice. And despite the chaos around you, he heard you without a problem. He looked at you, breathing heavily, his fist stopped halfway to deliver another punch.

The guy under him coughed, choking on blood, and suddenly three policemen appeared out of nowhere. People in a panic cleared a path for them to get to the very center of the action. And then Frankie was the one lying on the ground, crushed by a cop’s knee. He winced at the unnecessary force they used to overpower him, because he had surrendered without any resistance. Two policemen were collecting what was left of the beaten man from the ground, and the third was handcuffing Frankie. Only that sound tore you out of your stupor.

You watched as the policeman, not very gently, pulled him up and yanked him when he heard his groan of dissatisfaction. With your heart in your throat, you approached them. You were terrified by the whole situation and Frankie noticed it right away. He gave you a smirk and a wink to calm you down.

But that only made the policeman more nervous, so he jerked him again.

"You're happy by the fact that you kicked some guy's ass?" he growled with venom, to which he only smiled wider and licked the cut on his lip. His gaze didn't leave your eyes for a moment; big, shiny eyes that looked at him with confusion.

"I would have killed him if you hadn't stopped me," he replied confidently. You didn't want to believe it, but the seriousness with which he said it exerted the opposite emotions in you.

"We'll see if you're so brave at the police station." And he jerked him again, this time heading towards the exit of the bar.

"Where are you taking him?" you asked loudly, drawing the cop's attention. He glanced at you and his gaze raked down your body with disapproval. Son of a bitch. “I have a right to know, I’m his fiancée,” you added, lifting your chin higher.

Frankie looked at you with amusement and pride. You were so damn sexy when you acted like that.

The cop looked skeptically from you to your fiancé and rolled his eyes. “State police,” he said casually and that was all you saw of him.

Frankie disappeared, and right after him, the whole band. They didn’t seem too bothered as they mumbled the words, ’we need to get him out again’. Again.

Then there were only formalities. You sat on a bar stool answering more questions from one of the policemen. The footage from the cameras and your statements gave the green light to a possible quick bailout of Frankie from custody.

You felt extremely guilty about what had happened, so when you heard the words, ’That’s it. If we have more questions, we’ll contact you’, you almost ran out of the bar.

You probably broke most of the traffic laws when you drove towards the state police station, but it was late, so the streets were almost empty. Luckily, you didn't kill anyone on the way and you made it in one piece.

Apart from your heart beating too fast and your thoughts racing, you were in quite great shape.

You got out of the car and ran towards the police station as fast as your heels would allow you. However, you quickly stopped halfway when you heard loud laughter, which after a moment became faces.

The whole band was just leaving the building, talking loudly with wide smiles on their faces. Everyone was in great spirits, including Frankie. He laughed like a child when he got another punch in the ribs and another warning that next time he'd be behind bars all night.

Pope noticed you first and his smile turned into a smirk as he looked at Frankie and whistled in appreciation.

"For a chick like this, even I would go to jail," he commented, which caught the attention of the rest of the men.

Everyone started looking around until they finally landed on you. Each of them looked down your body and Ben was the only one to nod with cessation, for which he got a punch in the stomach from his brother.

"What?" he groaned but in response he only got a warning look.

You tensed, feeling everyone's eyes on you but then Frankie looked over Ben's shoulder, your attention immediately focused only on him. Shock flew across his face at the sight of you but he quickly smiled and pushed through them. You noticed how everyone exchanged knowing glances with each other, then Tom patted him on the shoulder.

"We’ll leave you here," he said then smiled pleasantly in your direction. You watched as everyone started to walk away, with stupid smiles on their faces.

"Thanks guys!" Frankie shouted but didn't even look in their direction. Only you were able to see Pope wave at him, also not looking at him. You raised an eyebrow with a smile, watching this comical situation but when your gaze fell on the man in front of you again, you became a little more serious.

Stress clenched your stomach as all the events that had happened in such a short time started to come back to you. You swallowed the lump in your throat seeing him take a step towards you.

"I'm sorry for what happened," you blurted out in one breath, making him stop halfway into the next step. He frowned and only then did he notice how stressed you were.

"You have nothing to apologize to me for. It wasn't your fault that some motherfucker slipped some shit into your drink," he said seriously and you felt waves of cold shivers again. It was only when he said it, that it started to dawn on you how you could have ended up if it wasn't for him.

“You ended up in jail because of me,” you added, still feeling guilty.

Frankie snorted under his breath and spread his hands, looking around.

"As you can see, I'm not in it anymore," he noticed, which managed to make you smile a little.

Half the battle.

He slowly walked closer to you with a gentle smile and a tender look. Your heart began to beat faster when he stopped in front of you. Your gaze immediately fell on the cut on his lip and in a rush of something strange, you raised your hand and gently touched the small wound. Electricity passed under your fingertips from the contact with his heated skin.

"Then I apologize for this," you said and his lips formed a smile under your fingers. You immediately looked up at his eyes, which sparkled with amusement.

"I was only defending my fiancée." The tone he spoke with sent butterflies flying through your stomach. You snorted sweetly under your breath and looked down, causing his smile to widen.

With that one sentence, all the tension and stress melted away into thin air.

“Oh, right,” you nodded, more to yourself than to him, and pulled your fingers away from his lips. “Thank you,” you said politely, and then his hand closed around your wrist, trapping yours a few inches from his face. You inhaled louder, feeling his fingers grip your skin.

He gently but firmly pulled you closer, placing your hand on the back of his neck. You gave in to his movements, wanting to see where this was all leading.

"I guess that's not how you should thank your fiancé," he noted with a smirk and slowly put his arm around your waist and connected your bodies in one movement.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as if you had at least run a marathon. Standing in his arms, you couldn't focus on anything. Your gaze was so damn innocent that Frankie automatically hugged you a little tighter, wanting to protect you from everything around. But now the only thing he could protect you from, was himself.

"The policemen who are watching, are definitely not convinced by our love," he teased with a glint in his eye. You shivered, unconsciously digging your fingers into his neck and glanced towards the police station. You ran your gaze over all the windows, but it was dark everywhere.

“But no one’s looking,” you whispered, as if someone could hear you, and looked at him again. And you almost moaned when he leaned in a little closer to you.

“But someone’s could,” he whispered as well.

You immediately understood what was hidden behind his words and even though you tried, you couldn't stop the smile that spread across your lips.

"Right," you nodded and lifted your other hand, placing it on his cheek the moment he leaned down to connect your lips. You purred feeling his stubble tickle your skin and with a giggle you let his tongue connect with yours. He tasted so damn good and was so gentle that you quickly felt the arousal building between your thighs.

His hands slowly ran over your back and waist, which made you moan softly. And your moan made him sigh before he pressed you harder against his chest. His fingers dug pleasantly into your skin until your blood started to boil.

You slid your fingers into his locks that were tangled on his neck and gently ran your nails over his scalp. This time he moaned softly and deepened the kiss even more. His tongue was in perfect sync with yours, not even trying to dominate you for a moment. It was a completely new feeling and you had to admit, that you fuckin’ loved it.

“So what about that drink?” you asked when he pulled away from you for a moment to catch his breath. You bit your lip with a gentle smile and slowly ran your nails down the back of his neck and Frankie had to admit that he was already having trouble standing when his cock began to painfully dig into his jeans.

He pursed his lips, holding back a groan and nodded eagerly at your offer and he was able to hold out if you wanted to have a drink with him. He was able to wait until you gave him a sign that you wanted to go further.

But then you started walking towards your car, gyrating your hips in front of his face.

A quiet growl escaped his throat as he looked helplessly at the sky, mentally counting to ten to calm down. Only then did he look at you again and damn it, it didn’t work.

He quickly covered the distance between you, calling your name. You managed to unlock the car with the remote before you looked in his direction and his lips immediately attacked yours. You gasped in surprise but gave in without resistance as he forced his tongue into your mouth. His fingers tangled in your hair, holding you against him as he slowly moved forward, pushing you back until you hit the hood of your car. When he pinned you with hips, his hands immediately found their way to your waist, his fingers gripping your flesh tightly. Another moan died in his mouth as you tried to return his kisses with the same fervor.

"I'm sorry," he sighed against your lips, sliding his hands down to your bare thighs and clenching them perfectly under your ass. You shivered, digging your nails into his shoulder. "I don't usually start like this," he said, trying to somehow excuse his behaviour, his lack of restraint, right outside the doors of the police station. You moaned into his mouth as he massaged your thighs intensely, getting closer and closer to their core.

"Me neither," you gasped and then both of you locked eyes.

And you both knew what a fucking bad idea had flown through your heads.

And both of you seemed completely unconcerned about the consequences the moment your lips connected again and his fingers hurriedly began to pull up your dress.

You were acting like stupid teenagers but suddenly it didn't matter. All that mattered now was that he was spreading your thighs with his knee so he could be even closer. And when his hips brushed against yours, you felt how hard he was, how much he wanted to get out of his tight pants because of you. And you'd be lying if you said you didn't leak at the thought of him entering you.

Frankie gasped, grinding against you once more before he pulled away, leaving you breathless. You moaned at the sudden feeling of losing his soft lips on yours, but it quickly passed the moment you saw him kneeling in front of you. You shivered at the sight of his head between your legs and whimpered impatiently. His warm breath fanned your pubic but his lips found their way to your hip. You closed your eyes and gasped at the pleasant waves of warmth that began to spread through your body, from every place he kissed.

He slid from hip to your thigh and his warm tongue combined with his scratching beard were already taking you to the heights of pleasure. Oh, it had definitely been too long since anyone had touched you. Or maybe it was Frankie who had such an effect on you.

You didn't have a moment to think about it because you felt his fingers gently hook your panties, pushing them aside. You inhaled louder and looked down with your lips parted. He leaned down, pressing the tip of his nose between your slit and shamelessly inhaled your scent. He groaned, bringing you to a state you had never been in before so quickly.

"You smell amazing, baby," he purred, tightening his fingers on your thighs and without warning, he plunged his tongue into your leaking hole. You moaned loudly, looking down at him and your hand tangled itself in his hair.

Frankie slowly ran his tongue between your lips, tasting all the excitement that had managed to escape from you. He purred as if he was eating his favorite dessert. You tightened your fingers in his hair, feeling how every movement of his delicate tongue brought you closer and closer to the heights of pleasure.

"Frankie," you gasped loudly and in response you only received a quiet purr and his tongue on your clit. A broken moan escaped you before you started to breathe heavily because he simply started making out with her.

He sank into your pussy and didn't want to break away even for a second. Like a thirsty man, he circled your sweet spot, licked up your juices, and kissed you. Passionately and deeply, until your knees began to shake.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come," you moaned squeaky, pulling his head closer to your temple. You started to gasp for air, chasing your orgasm that was inexorably approaching with every movement of his tongue. Until finally, you felt a wave of fulfillment pass through your body. You held his hair tightly, not letting him move as he continued to guide you through your orgasm. Broken moans echoed around as your clit throbbed under his tongue.

You swallowed hard and loosened your grip on his hair, which immediately allowed him to lick everything that flowed out of you. You moaned as you felt his tongue gently plunge into your throbbing hole. A quiet curse escaped your lips as you calmed your breathing, looking at the starry sky.

"Tell me you're on some kind of pills because I don't know if I have any condoms with me," he gasped, suddenly appearing in front of you.

His lips glistened with your juices and you couldn't resist pulling him to you by his shirt to kiss him hard. You were so fucking grateful for the wonderful orgasm he gave you, you couldn't put it into words. So you just let yourself kiss him passionately, hugging his neck tightly. He didn't resist, in fact, he willingly leaned closer and sank his teeth into you with pleasure.

"Mhm," you hummed in confirmation because you couldn't even tell him that you had an implant and that you desperately wanted to feel him inside you without any shitty latex barriers. That was enough for him to reach into his pants and sloppily start unbuckling his belt. And you were so impatient that in the meantime you unzipped his fly. You moaned feeling his cock twitch towards your hands.

"Baby, I swear to you, I'm clean," he gasped, reaching for his seething cock.

You immediately jumped, sitting on the hood of the car and spreading your legs wide for him. You didn't even look down when you felt his hot tip right next to your entrance. A groan escaped his throat as he passed between your wet lips a few times and slowly entered you. Your loud moan died in his mouth, which effectively silenced you as he went deeper and deeper, only to withdraw a moment later and go even deeper again. Your walls clenched tightly around him, getting used to his invasive presence. Either you hadn't had a cock inside you for so long, or he was well-endowed by mother nature.

“You’re so big,” you whimpered, taking just over half of him.

Frankie groaned loudly, gripping your hips tightly, trying to go deeper but just couldn’t. He cursed under his breath and slowly began to thrust into you, hoping he could stretch you out more over time. But just half of him was enough to make you cock drunk.

You sloppily began to kiss him back and bit his lip hard when he tried to go deeper inside you. He hissed in pain and you felt a metallic taste in your mouth. You looked at him terrified but you couldn’t fight the pleasure his dick was giving you, still moving inside your tight pussy.

“I’m sorry,” you moaned, digging your nails into the back of his neck as he thrust his hips harder again. You slid your other hand down to his cheek and wiped the blood that was starting to run down his chin with your thumb.

“Again,” he gasped, looking at you completely pussy drunk. You clenched around him, making him groan, closing his eyes and letting you press hard into his mouth again.

The pain of the open wound and your tongue gently caressing it, sent shivers down to his balls. He felt fucking nirvana as your pussy allowed him to go deeper with each thrust. He tried to fight the quickly approaching orgasm but he simply couldn't. The way you caressed his body was beyond him.

"Baby please, I can't hold it in any longer," he moaned, starting to tremble. Then your lips began to create a trail of kisses along his jaw to his ear. You needed a long moment to come yourself, but right now you wanted nothing more than to please him.

"Go ahead," you whispered with a smile and gently bit his earlobe. The sounds he began to make with each subsequent thrust could bring you to another orgasm without even having to touch your pussy. You made a mental note to try it with him sometime.

All the moans went straight to his ear, and from his ear, straight to his cock, which was pulsing furiously, signaling the approaching orgasm. And then he made the most animalistic sound you've ever heard in your life. His balls tightened in pleasure, and all of his cum erupted deep inside you. He panted heavily, thrusting into you a few more times before he stopped and rested his head on your shoulder. Your cunt throbbed with the excitement of his orgasm and squeezed the last drops out of him, making him shiver. You began to place soft kisses on his neck and played with his hair between your fingers.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said contritely, feeling awful that he had selfishly come before you.

“Don’t be,” you whispered, smiling fondly and pulling away. Frankie straightened up, looking at you with sparkling eyes. He looked so damn innocent after his orgasm that you immediately wanted to take care of him.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” he offered and you could hear the hint of pleading in his voice. You smiled wider, shaking your head and placing your hands on his cheeks, stroking his stubble with your thumbs.

“Actually, it was the best first date of my life,” you admitted and leaned down, placing a soft and sweet kiss on his lips. Frankie looked at you with puppy eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist tightly. “And honestly, I’m counting on another one. I haven't had this much fun in a while," you bit your lip hiding your wide smile and that was enough to stop him feeling like a dick. He smiled softly and this time he leaned down connecting your lips in a sweet and slow kiss.

"In that case, I make pretty good drinks," he whispered biting your lip getting a moan from you in return.

"I'd like that."

[hedwig221b]

Fic authors self rec!

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

I got tagged by @cozyrosykay, thank you, love!

This is gonna be interesting…

Predators

He was born for this. Nature itself whispered into his ear where he should put his hands, how to twirl his tongue just right and when to bite. Stiles knew well enough that his saliva was currently working its magic on this unfortunate man, making him hungry, lustful, and insatiable. Soon, all his thoughts would be consumed by Stiles.

And, just this once, Stiles would allow Derek to consume him.

I still consider this my best work (yet! bc I'm writing something currently and y'all… it's a contender). But it's so fucking good, I'm sorry, but it is! Each time I finished writing another piece, I closed the doc and told myself that this is the best thing ever. I love how gentle Derek is with Stiles, I love how persistent he is with his love, almost arrogant with his confidence. He's like oh well, Stiles is confused but it'll pass. I'll be here anyway. Forever. !!!!!! I love Stiles as a creature, and I love him embracing the darkness and being unapologetic about it. I love this fic so much.

Eros Mania Amor

“I am just reminding you that Stiles is married. To me. All you can do is imagine, and I get to do all of those things you’re dreaming of to him. Yes, I know. I know everything you and others think,” Hale opened his eyes and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. His smile was despicable in its selfishness. “I know what you dream of when you look at his lips—”

“Stop it.” Jordan shook his head.

“— because I am the same as you,” the wolf ignored him. “I imagined everything you did, it’s just happened that my dream became the life that I get to live. He is here,” he tapped his own temple, “and here,” he tapped his chest. “And you would have to kill me to get us separated.”

This fucking fic… I was high on reading Dracula, and I love classics, and I definitely put all my love for it here. I love the language in this, the intrigue, the misleading. I also love when sterek's love is so overwhelming and unbreakable. I also kinda ate with the imagery in last sentences... I ate in general with this fic lmao

Torn Apart and Set Anew

“Someone’s here,” Stiles whispered, feeling weirdly numb.

The metal latch clicked. With ice filling his lungs and his fingers shaking terribly, Stiles swiveled his head in the direction of a window and froze for a beat of a second.

There was a face behind the glass.

Forgettable and plain, but at the same time familiar face.

This deserves more attention, and it's probably my fault for putting a weird summary resulting in it not getting a lot. Anyway, I love the suspence. I love Stiles' stubborness and I love the plot twist. About that: I like how I make it obvious who's the villain and (I hope) the reader thinks they already got the plot twist... But then the real plot twist comes and it's like... FUCK. Also Derek in this is soo…. ugh... and the ending!!! Asffgghjjkhgrjsskr

Treasure

“I know you don’t trust me,” Derek grunted. When Stiles inhaled to retort, Derek caught his chin and pressed a finger against his lips, making the boy freeze in place, eyes impossibly wide. “Don’t argue. I expected it. Wolves don’t trust easily, too. I just wanted you to know that… I’m sorry. I was selfish and didn’t see what was in front of me. You don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

It was a thought that grew in his mind, spread to his heart and took root there, reincorporating into a deep desire and a vital need. Derek will take care of him and his little pup, he’ll bring the hearts of his enemies and put them at the boy’s feet. He’ll court and he’ll conquer.

I have my issues with this fic but ELI!!!! KIRA!!! DEREK!!! iykyk lol but yeah I often go back to this fic just to reread Eli parts, I loved writing baby Eli, he's gonna come back in Jane Eyre au for sure. I also never cried this hard during writing a fic, not before and not since. That scene... One of the best scenes I've written, the grief is so raw and scolding... shit I might reread this...

your fangs against my skin (the sound of your bones)

This was it, then, huh? It was that easy for Derek to invite someone to his den. Someone other than Stiles.

He healed the wolf. Stiles killed his tormentor, mended his blood and bones, and let him sleep beside him. But none of it was enough.

He wasn’t a spark, after all, but a witch — evil and alone, locked up in his tower.

Witches didn’t get happy endings.

One of my recent gems, I would even call it mild in terms of darkness and angst. It's a comfort fic for me. I love how relaxed Derek is around Stiles, how both of them crave each other's comfort and give it so easily. I also loved Stiles' witchiness, he's so weird and fun lmao, also LYDIA

.

Tagging gently in case y'all already did this: @dear-massacre @renmackree @endwersed @nerdherderette @thotpuppy @invisible-storyteller @eevylynn

[bingbongsupremacy]

Camp Hawkins AU

Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus sized reader

Warnings: Use of Y/N. This is my first time writing a plus size reader oneshot. As a plus sized person myself, I wanted to try it. I'm a little nervous tho. I know some people don't like it when ppl write insecure plus sized reader stories. I just feel like when I write, I put my emotions and my insecurities into the character as a way to work through them. I'm working on my confidence and some time I will write x confident!plus size reader oneshots, just not right now. Anyways, I hope you can understand that, and if you don't maybe try another story. Thank you.

P.S. I don't know how tf to flirt.

The story doesn't mention a lot about being plus sized but it is there.

Summary: It's your third year being a camp counselor at Camp Hawkins and your 7th year knowing Steve. Every year your crush seems to grow stronger and stronger.

*Not Proof Read*

ABC List Stranger Things Masterlist

*****

" Bunk 23. " Eddie, one of the head counselors grins while handing me a set of keys.

I groan. " The bunk with the bats? Eds, are you serious. "

Last year a bat nest was found in the corner of one of the old wooden beds. Nobody had checked the cabin before letting campers and counselors inside, resulting in a nasty surprise halfway through the first week.

Eddie shrugs. " Sorry, kid. I don't assign the bunks, I just tell people where to go. " Eddie's eyes shift over my shoulder. " Steve! There ya are, my boy. Long time no see. What's going on? "

I feel my annoyance begin to melt away as the sound of boots makes its way towards us. It's quickly replaced with a flutter type feeling in my stomach, a feeling that's been stuck with me for the past seven years.

I turn to look at the cause of my emotions.

Steve grins at the man behind me. A large leather duffle bag hangs off of his left shoulder. In his right hand, a small rolling suitcase, the same grayish color as his coat, squeaks along. The same two bags he's used since I met him. Steve pulls off his glasses, sending a dazzling smile towards Eddie and I. " Same old, same old, Ed. Hi, Y/N. "

His grin sends waves of happiness flooding through my body. I love the way he says my name.

I do my best to keep my composure. I return the smile, adding in a small wave as well. " Hey, Steve. "

" So what's this I hear about you and Nancy? A little birdy tells me you're back together again. " Eddie asks, leaning against the desk in front of him.

Nancy and Steve. The always on and off high school sweethearts.

I have no shot with Steve. I mean, he's obviously still head over heels for her if he keeps going back to her. I guess deep down I hope he'll finally see me as someone other than his chubby fellow camp counselor.

Picking up my heavy bags, I excuse myself from the conversation. " Hey, I'll catch you guys later. I'm gonna go check out the cabin, make sure no bats are hanging around. "

" Do you need help with your bags? They look a little heavy. " Steve offers, moving to set his stuff down on the ground.

He's so sweet. He always have been. No wonder I have a huge crush on him.

" No, " I shake my head. " I've got it. It's not to far. " I smile.

" But Bunk 23's on the other side of the-" Eddie begins.

I interrupt him. " I'm probably going to stop at the dining hall and see if Robin's there yet anyways. I'll be okay. " I reassure them.

" Oh, okay. " Steve nods, glancing down at the heaviest duffle bag I have.

I'm definitely regretting packing extra crafts. I just didn't want any of the kids to get bored during free time.

" Cya guys. " I shuffle towards the door. The floor creaks beneath me as I walk out onto the main cabins' porch.

Maybe some day I'll mean more to Steve Harrington.

_____

" He literally offered to help you. Why didn't you take him up on that? " Robin groans in frustration. Strands of hair that slipped out of her hat frame her flour splotched face. Bits of dough and other mysterious stains cover the front of her apron, making it look like a doughy murder scene.

She leans on the serving window counter, her arms cradling her head.

" He was just being nice. I mean, if I saw you carrying heavy bags of flour, I'd offer to help you. It's something everyone does- be nice to the people you know. It doesn't mean they like you. " I argue. I fidget with the lid of my water bottle.

" That's different. "

I narrow my eyes at the woman. " How is that different? "

Robin lets out an annoyed grunt. " You and me, " She points to the two of us. " have no chemistry. You and Steve on the other hand..." She waggles her eyebrows, sending a warm feeling climbing up my face.

I roll my eyes.

" Have a fuck ton of chemistry. Like sometimes I feel like it's choking me. " She makes a pretend choking sound. " Please! Y/N! Steve! Just make out already. Please, for the love of god! Save me! Save humanity from the horrors of watching you two interact while denying your feelings! "

I gently hit her forearm. " Shut up. That's not true, literally shut the fuck up. " I mutter.

Robin laughs. " It's so true. Ask literally anyone that hangs around you guys. Why do you think Nancy and Steve keep breaking up? "

That can't be true. Relationships have issues. There's no way in hell Steve and Nancy keep breaking up because he likes me. That's...insane.

" Your a catch, y/n. You need to start realizing that. People-they have crushes on you too. "

I turn my head to meet Robins gaze.

" You're not the only person in the world who doesn't have someone attracted to them. I mean, if fucking Mike Wheeler can have a girl crushing on him, so can you. "

It's just hard for me to believe someone like Steve, Ex Captain of the Hawkins basketball team, could like someone like me. I'm pretty sure he's only ever seen me as a friend. All these years, transitioning from campers to counselors, he's never made a move on me. In all fairness, I haven't exactly made a move on him either...in my defense, Steve and Nancy are on and off so much, a flickering light bulb has more predictability.

This is all so confusing.

-----

" Welcome campers! " A loud voice booms from on the old cement stage.

Slowly chatter from the excited campers begin to die down.

Jim Hopper, a retired sheriff and the new owner of Camp Hawkins, begins to speak again. " We're so excited to have you here. Each of you have been assigned a bunk and a counselor... " Jim's voice begins to fade from my mind. The same words have been repeated year after year, not that I mind. It's a familiar introductory speech, something I know will never change.

I look behind the older man. The gorgeous quarry shines from the sunlight. Post card worthy.

" You're bunk 23, right? " Steve's voice asks from next to me.

I was so lost in thought I hadn't noticed he took a seat next to me.

I send him a smile. " Yeah, The bat bunk. " I mumble.

Steve grins. " I'm bunk 24. "

" Oh nice, I guess we'll be seeing each other a lot then. Well, " Stupid, the kids do basically everything together. You're going to see him a ton anyways. " More than usual I guess. "

Steve chuckles slightly. A sound that sends waves tumbling through my insides. " I don't mind. You're good company. "

I feel a familiar warmth sprawl across my face. " You're not so bad yourself, Harrington. "

A look of amusement finds its' way onto Steve's face. " Hey, I know you're not a huge fan of bats...or other flying creatures, " He references my first year here as a camper.

I let out a groan at the embarrassing memory. " That was so long ago. The bird literally came out of nowhere. " I vividly remember that morning. It was still dark when Steve and our friends got the bright idea to go check out the quarry. A bird flew out of one of the nearby bushes, nearly smacking into my face.

Steve laughs, his milky brown eyes glinting from the sunlight. " Hey, birds can be terrifying. I'm not judging you. " He holds up his hands in a playful surrender. " I was just saying, if you want, I can come over to your bunk and check it out. Make sure no flying surprises are hidden anywhere. " He offers, leaning forward slightly in his seat.

My heart flutters. God, he's so sweet. " I don't want to inconvenience you, I mean, it's probably fine. I doubt the bats returned. "

" Really, I don't mind. It's not an inconvenience, if anything, I'm doing this for my bunk. I mean, I don't really feel like waking up to a bunch of people screaming at 3 in the morning. "

My eyebrow raises. " Oh? So you're doing this for you then...for your interests. "

Steve tilts his head slightly. " I guess you could say that. "

The campers around us begin to gather up their bags, making their way towards Eddie and Jonathan who have lists of where everyone's supposed to go.

Steve stands up, extending a hand towards me. " So what do you say, Y/N. Do you want Pest Control Steve to come take a look at your bunk? "

I cringe at his stupid name, causing him to laugh.

" Only if you never call yourself that again. " I accept his hand, standing up from the cement row.

Steve's hand firmly holds onto mine for a few seconds longer after we've stood up.

From over his shoulder Robin catches my eye. Her eyes flicker between our hands and back to my eyes. She mouths a silent ' He fucking likes you ', which I ignore.

I release Steve's hand, shoving mine into my pocket.

For a moment, a flicker of confusion? Maybe disappointment flashes across Steve's features. He obviously ignores it, moving to fold his arms across his chest. " Deal. "

I smile at the man. " Deal. "

I look at him for a second longer before I'm quickly swept away by the campers in my bunk.

My mind analyzes our conversation over and over again, completely ignoring whatever Eleven is telling me while we walk back to our bunk.

He couldn't like me. Right?

_______

" I think you guys are clear. " Steve says, poking his head back out from under the last bunk. He glances up at the top of the bunk, making sure there's nothing hidden in the corners.

" Thank you so much, Pest Control Steve, what would I ever do without you? " I cringe slightly at my words, shaking my head. " You know what, never mind. I thought it would be funny but no. "

Steve laughs at my attempt at mockery. " You'd live in uncertainty. " He makes his way towards me, leaning against the open door frame.

Outside the kids are running around playing capture the flag, their yells echoing slightly around the bunk.

" Sure...I'd probably just get Eddie or Jim to look around. You know how much they love me. "

Steve slightly leans towards me. " They wouldn't check as well as I do. I do have a five star rating in customer service. " His voice is soft but teasing.

My eyes flicker down to his lips.

He's so close. Just a few inches away. If I wanted to, I could kiss him.

I do want to...

But I can't.

What if him and Nancy are still dating?

Fuck, I should've stuck around and waited to hear what he had to say about their relationship.

" Y/n! El got another bloody nose! " Dustin's voice suddenly shouts.

My head snaps towards the direction of the boy. His face goes from worried to grinning in a matter of seconds.

" Wait, " He looks between Steve and I.

Without waiting for him to finish, I snatch a roll of paper towels from the desk near the door. I hurry out of the bunk, leaving the two guys behind.

" Oh my god, Dustin... " Steve's voice groans.

" Were you guys about to..." Dustins' voice fades away as I make my ways towards a group of kids. I push past them, kneeling in front of El.

Perfect timing.

-----

The dining hall is bursting with noise. Kids sit together, eagerly talking about their first day back at camp.

I grab a plate and nervously head into the kitchen.

Food. My least favorite part of the day. I don't know if it's just the fear or people watching me eat or the possibility of someone making fun of me for eating too much. I should be used to it by now, I've eating around people for my entire life, but I'm not.

Every meal time still brings unnecessary anxiety.

Robin leans against one of the walls, a iced drink in her left hand. As she raises the glass to take a sip, droplets of condensation run down her arm. " About time you showed up. I basically had to threaten Eddie with a knife for him to back away from your portion of chicken tenders. He does not go down without a fight, I'll tell you that. " She chuckles.

" Thanks. " I begin putting some food onto my plate.

There's a moment of silence. " So. " Robin looks at me expectantly.

" So? " I ask, confused. I lean against the counter across from her. The counter hidden from the view of the dining hall.

Robin rolls her eyes. " Aren't you going to tell me about it? "

" What are you talking about, Robin? "

Robin lets out a sigh of annoyance. " Oh my god, Y/N. The kiss! "

Still lost, I set my food down. " What kiss? "

Finally, Robin blurts it out. " Dustin told me he saw you and Steve making out in your bunk. "

My eyes widen. " What? No. Robin, we weren't making out, that little..." I shake my head. " Steve and I were talking. Just talking. "

Robin raises an eyebrow. " Are you sure, Y/N, I'm your best friend. You can literally tell me anything-you literally have told me basically everything. "

" Robin, I swear. If anything were to happen, you'd be the first to know. Steve and I didn't do anything. "

" Doesn't mean something won't happen in the future though. " Robin smirks.

I roll my eyes. " He has a girlfriend, Robin. I'm not making a move on a taken guy. "

" They'll probably be on break by the end of the month. "

I pick up my plate again. " I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't get myself wrapped up into that. I mean, they'll probably eventually get back together. I don't want to be a rebound or something. "

Robin hops onto the counter, taking a seat in the empty space. " Steve's not like that. "

Yeah, he doesn't seem like the type of guy to do that. But, hey, maybe I don't know him as well as I think I do.

" So Dustin's going around telling everyone? " I say in discomfort. Even if we had kissed, I don't want everyone to know.

Robin shakes her head. Her hair is finally free from her hat. " Fuck no. I was the first person he saw and the first person he told. I told him I'd feed him to everyone for dinner if he says anything to anyone. " She lets out a small laugh. " Scared him shitless. "

I shake my head. " Of course you did, Rob. "

_____

The moon reflects off the quarry beautifully. Finally, there's bit of quiet. All of the campers are huddled together in the dining hall, playing random board games.

Their voices and music fade away as I walk closer to the water. I love being a counselor, but it definitely gets overwhelming at time. I look forward to going down to the Quarry every night, just for a little bit to clear my head.

As I get closer to the waters' edge, hear a twig snap. I snap towards my right side, the direction the sound came from.

A familiar jacket catches my eye.

Hanging over a nearby log, the sleeve of Steve's jacket shines in in the moonlight.

" Fuck, I'm sorry. " I blurt out as soon as I see the pair. On top of the jacket sits Steve. On his lap is Nancy, her arms wrapped around Steve's white t-shirt clad shirt. Nancy's legs are wrapped around his hips, pulling him into her embrace.

The pair pull apart, obviously surprised by my intrusion.

Nancy looks slightly embarrassed. " Oh I'm sorry. We didn't think anyone would be out here this late. " She apologizes, quickly getting off of her boyfriend.

I don't bother to look at Steve, knowing anything I see will send a pang of even more embarrassment and jealousy through my heart.

Don't be jealous.

Don't be jealous.

He doesn't like you. He never will. He's with fucking Nancy. It'd be wrong if he liked you.

Plus, Nancy is so sweet. How could I hurt her by dating Steve?

I turn around quickly, hurrying back down the path towards the dining hall.

Steve will never like someone like me.

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) (Steddie X You)

A/N: Like I said last week, I was watching the music video for "Queen of the Night" by Whitney Houston from the soundtrack of this movie and it gave me this Steddie idea.

I have a few ideas I can take this! I seriously love protective Steddie. Probably something to do with my PTSD and need to feel safe lol Anyway... I hope you enjoy it! I dedicate this to @unfocused81 <3

Warnings: No smut (yet😈) but angst for sure. Security Steddie and Singer female reader. It is mentioned that Y/N does drink excessively and do drugs. Her boyfriend is a douchebag and assaults her (mentions of smacking and grabbing her, yelling at her, and calling her names) that results in Steddie intervening. There is also a bit of a riot at one of shows that they protect her from (kind of like that scene in the movie where people jump on stage and chaos ensues).

I wouldn't really call this dark themes but reader definitely has some things going on and is struggling a lot right now.

Work count: 5906

“What kind of security work have you guys done before?” 

Your manager leans against the outside of his desk as he continues to scan through the messages on his phone.

“Oh, um, we’ve done a lot before for the bar in our town and most recently a rock band in—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”, the manager cuts Steve off as he speaks. “That’s all well and good. Look, I’m going to level with you. This is essentially expensive babysitting. Y/N is a handful. Our last security detail quit when her last party at her house caused a riot in the streets of LA.”

“A riot?”, Eddie turned to his friend and raised an eyebrow inquisitively. 

The guy sets his phone down, sighing with impatience. “Yes. Obviously, you two don’t read or watch the news…which is good. Saves me the headache. Now, do you want the job or not?”

Both boys glance at each other before looking towards the man again. “Um, yeah sure. I mean it pays, right?”

“That’s the spirit. Ok, she’s at the studio downstairs right now recording…or at least that’s what she’s supposed to be doing. Go introduce yourselves. Glad to have you aboard.”, he rolls his eyes as he shoos them out of his office.

“Steve are you sure about this?”, Eddie asks as they head for the elevator. 

“Yeah. Come on, Munson. This is our ticket to high-rate clients and more money! We can handle one little girl.”

As soon as they get off on the right floor, they are met with extremely loud music and giggles from the studio room. A tall, lanky kid leans back in his chair extending his hand to greet both boys. 

“Hey, are ya’ll the security? I’m Devon. She’s in there ‘getting inspired’.” Their eyes follow his finger as he points behind the glass where you and some of your friends were strewn around the floor. “Good luck, gentlemen.”, he sings. 

Both men carefully tip toe around arms and legs to find you with your eyes closed, a half smirk painted across your lips. 

“Uh, Miss Y/L/N? I’m Steve Harrington and this is Eddie Munson. We’re your new personal security guards.”

“Hmm…sounds sexy.”, you slur. Your glassy, drug fueled eyes look up to meet theirs. “At least Jack hired some good-looking ones this time. Who is who?”

“Maybe, if you stood up and actually greeted us, you would have heard who is who the first time.”, Eddie chided. 

Your eyes fully open as your head tilts in his direction. No one ever had the balls to scold you like that since you became famous. It was usually “Yes ma’am” this or “Anything you want, ma’am. We’ll make it happen.”. Rising to your feet, you fully take them in through your haze. 

They both were attractive especially with that air of confidence you hadn’t seen in a long time. Your current boyfriend was cocky but definitely not confident. Everyone else around you seemed so fucking timid and you hated it. 

“Eddie. Steve.”, Steve repeated, pointed to his friend then himself. 

He was dressed head to toe in what you would call “conventional” clothes; nothing designer or anything to make him stand out. You could tell under the button up white, short sleeve shirt that he did have muscles that could protect you physically if need be. The jeans and sneakers he donned didn’t give you any new information that could tell you something about him except he probably didn’t make a whole lot of money. 

Eddie was more or less the same with a much more grunge fashion sense that, to you, he pulled off well. You pointed to his Metallica t-shirt with your finger. 

“My music isn’t like theirs. It might make your ears bleed.”

“As long as I can still see you and see you’re safe, I think I’ll survive.”

He’s quick witted. I like that…

“Ok. We’ll give it a try. Tomorrow, you’ll meet me at my house and I can tell you more about what you’ll be doing.”

***

“Steven Harrington, have you read half this stuff?”, Eddie sighs as he leans forward and places his elbows on his knees as he points at things on his laptop.

“She’s been arrested twice; once for possession and another for disorderly conduct where she was found having sex with someone while she was drunk in public. The cops have been called to her house multiple times due to, honestly, take your fucking pick. Her boyfriend was arrested just last week for sucker punching one of her fans for ‘getting too close’. How are we supposed to protect someone who invites all this chaos into her life.”

“I don’t know, Ed. The same way you protect anyone I guess.”, Steve leans back on the couch as he takes a sip from his bottle of beer. “Again, this is just a steppingstone. I’m sure after a few months of handling her, any number of high value agencies will want to hire us. WHICH MEANS…”, he glances towards Eddie. “…you need to control your Dom voice.”

The metalhead chuckles as he leans back as well. “It’s going to be hard with a fucking brat like her. Dude, she didn’t even have the common courtesy to say hello.”

“I know… I know… but just, try. For me?”

#########

It takes you awhile to open the door when they knock but when you finally do, you look completely hung over. 

“Yeah, come…come in. Do you want something to drink? Jack? Vodka? I have them all.”

“It’s 10am.”, Steve responds as he looks at his watch. 

You raise an eyebrow at him before heading for the kitchen and grabbing the whole bottle of Jack Daniels. “If you’re boring, Eddie. Just say that.”

“Steve. I’m Steve.”

“Right now, I don’t care—”

“We can tell.”, Eddie growls.

You blink as you look up at him. You’ve never wanted to toy with a man so bad in your life. He wasn’t even trying to hide that your disrespect was bothering him and honestly you couldn’t get enough. 

“I’m sorry, gentlemen. I don’t do mornings. Unfortunately, my manager insists on scheduling interviews for me that require me to up at this ungodly hour.” They watch you as you slump onto the couch and throw your arm over your eyes. “So, how much did Jack tell you?”

“Uh, just the basics. We watch out for you.”

“Good. It’s just following me around and making sure I don’t get swarmed or murdered. I’ll give you guys a key to my house before you leave today and when I stay at hotels I’ll do the same. You’ll most likely be staying in the same room as me anyway so…”

The sound of banging on your front door makes you cringe. “I guess I’ll get it.”, Eddie sighs as Steve’s eyes follow him. “Your makeup people are here, your highness.”

A big grin spreads across your face as you turn your head to look over at them. “I like him. Steven, you need to start stepping it up or he’ll become my favorite.”

The metalhead lazily glances towards his friend with playful wide eyes. “Well, lucky me.”

***

As snotty as your attitude was, they couldn’t deny how beautiful you were especially after your prep team was done putting you together. The makeup hid all damage you had done to yourself the night before and the outfit they had you in sexily showed off all your curves. Your eyes shifted to them, watching them as they looked around.

“No one is going to shoot me in here, boys.”

“Hm. You never know.”, Eddie exhales as he points to things. “Someone could come in through that back door behind you or because no one checks any of these people’s IDs, someone could sneak in pretending to be a hair stylist and take you out like that.”, he snaps his fingers. 

“Bags that hold all the beauty and camera equipment are big enough to hold even a rifle let alone a handgun. That’s implying someone would want to shoot you instead of stabbing or blowing you up.”, Steve followed. 

“Wow. Just charming.”

“It’s our job, Miss Y/L/N.”

“I think due to the circumstances you can call me Y/N.”, you grin. 

The producer gets your attention, walking you through the questions that would be asked and how the interview would go. The boys watched you in amazement as your personality practically changed when the camera went live. No one would ever be able to tell what you did behind the scenes or any other narrative then the one you provided. 

An hour later and after many questions, the interview ended and your face fell. 

“God, I need a drink.”

“Can we at least go over the tour first?”, your manager whined. 

“Baby!”

You excitedly got up and ran to your boyfriend’s arms. “Simon!”

Everyone in the room cringed at the heavy smacking sounds that left you two as he continued to sloppily kiss your lips. 

“Who are the new guys?”

“Babe, these are the new security guys. This is Eddie and Steve.”

They stand up to shake his hand but as Steve extends his palm the man looks down at it like the gesture was beneath him. “Yeah, listen boys, hands off, okay? She’s mine.”, you giggle as he slaps your ass.

“Come on, baby. I got a surprise for you.” You squeal as he lifts you over his shoulder and carries you towards your bedroom. 

“Y/N! We still have things to go over!”, Jack shouts as the door closes loudly. 

#########

“I want to go home, Steven. It’s 2am and they’ve been fucking in there all god damn day. At this point we shouldn’t have a client anymore because he killed her by not giving her any food or fucking water. It definitely won’t be due to her climaxing because I haven’t heard that happen yet.”

“We can’t leave until he does.”, Steve sighs. “Or she dismisses us for the evening.”

As if on cue, Simon saunters past them into the kitchen, casually opening your fridge, and begins chugging from a jug of orange juice. “Um, I’m pretty sure you two can leave. She’s not even here.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, I’m assuming she climbed out the window after I crashed. She does that to escape the security teams. It’s kind of a rite of passage honestly.”

“Where would she go?”, Eddie growls. 

“Um, there’s a bar about a mile up the road. She likes to walk there for some reason.”

***

“So, pretty lady. Do you want to come back to my place tonight?”

“Ugh, no. Get off me. I just want to drink in peace.”

“Oh, come on, honey.”, the man slurred. 

“Hey! The lady said no.”, Steve’s voice echoed through the bar as he starred the man down. “Leave. Now.”

The patron held up his hands defensively, staggering back towards his table. 

“Come on, Y/N. Time for you to go home.”, Eddie motioned for the bartender to stop serving you as the other boy reached into your purse to pay him. 

“You’re my security. Not my fucking dad. I can stay here and drink if I want.”

“You’re at a bar in a nightie, shorts, and flip flops at 2 in the morning. It’s a safety concern.”

“Oh shit.”, you giggle. “I am in my nightie.” Steve roughly grips your arm and tugs you out the door towards his car. “Let me go, you fucking dick.”

A switch flips in the man’s brain; he can’t help it. For the past couple of days, he’s tolerated your disrespect but like Eddie, he hated it. They both could handle a lot but you were pushing them too far. Still holding onto your wrist, he twirls you towards the vehicle till your back hits the door. 

“Now, listen here because I’m only going to say this once. We’ve handled the tone and the blatant disregard for what we do but it ends now. Our job is to keep you safe not fucking babysit some spoiled, rich washed-up singer. This is the last time you pull a stunt like this; do you understand me?” 

Steve’s body was so close to yours you could feel his angry breath fanning your face. It had been ages since someone put you in your place like this and you’d be lying if you didn’t say you were a bit turned on. A new feeling washed over you though as your eyes scanned his face. For the first time since you entered this industry, you actually felt safe. 

They weren’t afraid to be blunt with you which compared to everyone else in your life was a nice reprieve. You knew 90% of the people in your life, given the chance, would sell you out in a heartbeat but would still stand there and tell you how perfect you were. 

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Eddie’s voice startled you, completely unaware he was standing beside you with his hands in his pockets, glaring down at you with those same angry eyes. 

“Yes, I understand.”

“Good. Now get in the car.” 

#############

That following morning, they half expected to be fired but were surprised when you opened the front door as soon as they knocked. 

“We have to go to the studio first and then I have to get ready for the gig tonight.”, you mumbled as you swished around them, trying to get in the backseat of his car to no avail. “Can you open the door…please?”

Eddie caught it in your tone first…something wasn’t right and it had nothing to do with them. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Can we just…”, you gesture towards the car.

“HEY! When you get back tonight make sure it’s with a better fucking attitude!”, Simon yells from your front door. 

“Well maybe I won’t come back, you free loading mama’s boy!”

“Stupid bitch should learn how to talk to a man.”, he muttered under his breath as he slammed the door shut.

Steve and Eddie exchange a look before the metalhead speaks to you. “Is that something we need to handle?”

“No. He’s just being a fucking prick.”

He opens your door and you slowly slide in before both men do the same. As the car begins to move, Steve keeps checking on you in his rearview mirror. Your sunglass covered eyes remain focused on the window as you stare out into the California streets. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. About leaving and keeping you guys out late when you didn’t have to. Simon just pissed me off and…”

“Does he talk to you like that often?”

“No. Sometimes he’s an asshole.” You flash them a sassy smirk that grows when you see Eddie try and hide his own at your sarcasm. “He’s just…hot headed, you know? He’s been through a lot.”

“And you haven’t?”

Your eyes swivel to Steve before glancing down at your hands. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, Y/N.”

“Yeah, well, neither should I so…”

“Just because you have an attitude doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like trash. Maybe you just need someone stronger who can handle it and not take it personally.”

“Oh? And who would that be, Steve? You?”

“Aw, Munson, that’s cute. She thinks we can’t handle her.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, we’ve dealt with worse than you.”, he smiles as he turns around in his seat. “It’s you that can’t handle us. Thankfully though we aren’t in a relationship so we’ll never get to find out.”

“I never say never, gentlemen.”

****

After going over the tour dates, everything you would be doing, and everything you need, your next stop was the venue you would be performing at tonight. 

Eddie cringed as the feedback of the mic echoed around the building.

“Hey! Try plugging it into the correct port!” The young man shrugged his shoulders causing the metalhead to go over and show the boy what he was doing wrong.

“Let me guess? Rock and Roll drummer in a Metallica cover band?”, you grin at him as the mic starts picking up your voice perfectly. 

“Guitarist and our own band, not a cover band.”

“What about you, Steve? Are you musically inclined?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“What are you good at?”

“Babysitting.”, he raised his eyebrow in your direction making your smile grow. 

As the additional security from the venue finally arrived, you watched with fascination as the guys took on a more authoritative tone, telling each person where they would need to be. Time slowly dwindled till it was about twenty minutes before the show. You began pacing as you shook out your preshow jitters.

“Hey, they say they are ready for you to head towards the stage.”

You jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice. “Goddamn it! Okay, fucking thank you!” His eyes narrowed in your direction as he came in and closed the door behind him. “Can I help you with anything else?!”

“Are you alright?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re not my father, Steven, or my friend. Get the fuck out! I’ll be right out!”

The boy bites his bottom lip as he nods his head. “Yes ma’am.” As he starts to open the door, he pauses turning to face you again. “You look really beautiful, by the way. Your voice is amazing. Eddie and I have actually never heard any of your songs before today. This will be our first concert. I’m excited to see it.” 

Your wide, glassy eyes turn to look at him as he slowly begins to close the door again. 

“Steve! Thank you…”

##########

That night you gave it your all and then some. Occasionally, you would glance down at the bottom of the stage watching as Steve and Eddie’s demeanor remained focused on the task at hand. Sometimes, however, you would notice a foot tap to the beat or a head would bob to your lyrics. If this was the first time they were attending a Y/N concert, you wanted them to enjoy it and show them what you bring to the entertainment table. 

So many people when you were starting out told you that you would never make it. That your dream of becoming a singer was a pipe dream for people with “actual talent”. Since day one you always felt like you had to prove yourself, hell, even before you started singing. In your house growing up you felt like you had to fight to be seen. 

Once you crossed that threshold, everything came easier but you never stopped fighting. Fighting the fear of being nothing again, the knowledge that everyone in your circle just wanted a piece of you and what you earned. Fighting to keep everyone happy including yourself. The alcohol and drugs helped immensely or at least that’s what you believed. You thought it helped numb your brain and the pain so you could just get through every day. 

When Eddie sassed you in the studio, you knew he was different. For a while you couldn’t get a read on Steve until that night outside of the bar. The fact that neither of them had asked you to hear their demo tape or hit on you was already a point in their favor but they genuinely seemed to want to protect you so you wanted to return the favor in some way, your voice.

When the concert ended, they snuck a peak at you. Eddie was never a fan of the type of music you sang but he couldn’t deny that what you did sing went straight to his heart. Steve noticed that while you sang, it was like you transported to a different place. You seemed calmer and more in tune with yourself, making you seem more confident than when you weren’t. 

This was the first time since they met you that you genuinely seemed happy. 

Something in the atmosphere changed. Maybe it was too many booze served at the bar or just the energy of the evening but people in the crowd started chanting for an encore. You were exhausted having gone longer on your set then you were supposed to already. You gave the crowd your best smile, thanking them for coming out, and telling them how much you loved their support. 

A fan jumped on to the stage and Eddie was quick to pull him back down. Panic set in as you watched the crowd start to fight with each other and the security team jump into action. The metalhead was in front of you and you hastily gripped his arm as he scanned the area trying to find Steve. 

“Harrington?!”

After tapping his shoulder, you pointed to the corner near a wall where you saw the boy in a fist fight of his own. Eddie pushed you towards the side of the stage behind a curtain.

“Don’t move! I’ll be right back, ok?!”, he shouted over the chaos as you gave him a firm nod. 

You watched as he jumped off the platform, running to pull the man off his friend and shoving him to where you were hiding. Steve didn’t even hesitate as he lifted you into his arms and they both ran down the hallway. They didn’t stop until they reached their car and placed you in the back seat, him climbing in with you as Eddie sped away. 

“Wait…what about Jack…and everyone else?”

“No. We have to get you out and away from the building especially during a scene like that.” Steve searched through his jacket pocket for a tissue, placing it against his nose when he finally finds one. 

“Are-are you okay?”

“Yeah. Fucking asshole got me good.”

About a mile down the road, Eddie parked the car into a gas station and got out to check you both over. “What happened, Harrington? Let someone get the best of you?”, Eddie chuckled. 

“Dude, they cornered me so fast especially after I pulled him off of the venue’s security guy.”

“Did I do that? Did I do something wrong?” Their head swivel around to look at your frightened frame. “Th-that’s never happened before…I-I-I…”

“Hey, hey, hey Y/N. It’s ok. You didn’t do anything wrong. I seriously think it was just…”, Eddie shrugs. “Beer and a packed in place. People just being…too rowdy. It happens but that’s what we’re here for.”

The man throws his arms up in surprise when you suddenly tackle him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you press your head into his chest. 

“Thank you…so much.” You let him go as you turn to give Steve a hug as well. “I’m so sorry you got hurt.”

When you started to pull back, his arms came down to hold you to him. “Hey, better me than you.”, he gently sighs, “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

#######

“Oh my god! What the fuck happened?! Baby, are you okay?” Simon ran to you from his place on your couch as you and the guys entered your house. 

“The concert ended a bit roughly but I’m ok. Really…”

“Isn’t it your job to fucking protect her!?”

“Yes and we did that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Look at her! She’s a mess and she’s shaking!” Your boyfriend charged up to Steve who glared down at him as he continued to yell in his face.”

“Simon, leave them alone. Please, I just want to get this crap off and go to bed.”

Eddie gripped his friend’s arm as he spoke to you. “Is there anything else you need, Y/N? Do you feel safe enough for us to leave and let you rest?”

“Of course, she fucking does. I can take care of her.”

Your eyes met theirs as you nodded. “Thank you.”

“We’ll talk to Jack and everyone in the morning.” The metalhead tugs at Steve forcing him to back down from your boyfriend. He flashes you one more cursory glance before turning around and leaving you for the night. 

###########

“You boys did good last night. I don’t know what happened but you knew what to do.” Jack gave them a smile as he nodded his head in approval. “Please keep up that vigilance next week when we go on tour. I think—”

“Wait. You’re still doing the tour next week?”

Your manager looked at Eddie in confusion. “Yes? Why wouldn’t we?”

“I mean…she just went through a pretty traumatic event. I couldn’t imagine getting back up on a stage immediately after something like that.”

“Yeah, well, your security not a musician so—”

“I actually am but whatever.”

Jack sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as speaks to you. “Do you feel like you need more time?”

You didn’t even hear the man’s question. Since they picked you up and brought you to your managers office, you had been uncharacteristically quiet. You were thinking about everything including what transpired last night. It WAS incredibly scary but they did pull through and keep you safe. Not only did they look after you but each other; you appreciated that loyalty. 

Now as Eddie defended you, thinking of your well-being, you felt yourself spiraling at the action. No one cared about you this much and they barely even knew you. What was their end game? What made them tick? What made them this way? Was it genuine or was it just their jobs?

“Y/N!”

“Huh? Oh, um, I mean…a week would be fine…especially if I can just rest…”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”, Jack responded in a nonchalant tone. “Go ahead and take the week but be back here on Thursday so we can go over everything.”

You nod as you head out of the office with your protectors in tow. “Hey, um, did you guys want to go get some lunch or something?”

***

“So, why security?”, you ask as you bite into your burger.

“Like Steve said, I mean, we’re good at it.”

“Well, good at protecting people. Security work just allows us to get paid for it.”, the man smiles as he takes a sip from his drink. 

“And you two have been friends for a while?”

“Since high school.”

“And where was that exactly?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions, sweetheart. Can I ask why?”, Eddie playfully narrows his eyes in your direction making you smile. 

“I just…you two are very different then people we usually hire. I just want to know more about you.”

“Different how?”, Steve asks.

“I don’t know. You just seem to genuinely care.”

“If the people around you don’t genuinely care then you need to hire some new people.”

“Yeah, well, that’s hard to find in this industry.” You reach in your purse and raise a flask in their direction as you pour a bit into your coffee.

“Is that why you do things like that?”, Eddie gestures towards you drink. 

“No, baby. I do things like this to keep me from going insane.”

“How about you do the healthy thing and stand up for yourself?”

You angerly turn your attention to Steve. “I can stand up for myself.”

“Oh? Is that why you let your manager, boyfriend, and entourage talk down to you the way they do?”

“Go fuck yourself, alright?! Look, I can stick up for myself and say what’s on my mind. For example, you two are complete fucking assholes.”, you growl. “I’m done eating. I want to go home.”

Eddie smirks as the other boy sighs. “Such a whiney, spoiled brat. I swear.” The metalhead pulls out his wallet, throwing money on the table as they both get to their feet. “Your highness.”, he gestures towards the front door. 

“I’m not whiney or spoiled. I worked hard to get here and I’m not going to let you or anyone talk to me like that.”

“Yet you do.”, Steve retorts as he opens the back door to his car. You roughly reach across, slamming it shut. “I thought you wanted to go home.”

“Apologize to me.”

“For what? Pointing out the obvious? Frankly, I don’t get why you have such a low opinion of yourself. You’re beautiful, talented, and you have such a gorgeous voice yet you pump yourself with poison and let these people take advantage of you. Why?”

You exhale as you look towards the ground. “I can handle it.”

“You say that a lot.” Eddie folds his arms on top of the car as he leans onto his hands. 

“Because I can.”

“By getting wasted?”

“My personal life is none of your fucking concern.”, you growl. 

“You’re right.” Steve opens the back door again and this time you climb in. “You just seem like you deserve better.”

##########

“I swear, man, that girl is going to get us killed. Or put in prison after WE kill her.”, Eddie chuckles from his place on the sofa. 

“I kind of like her.” The metalhead coyly raises his eyebrow at his friend. “Oh, come on, like you don’t?”, Steve sighs as he leans back against the couch. “There’s something hidden under all that sass and alcohol…I saw it when she was singing. I’d love to get to know that part of her better.”

Eddie grinned as he reached for his phone, smile fading when he saw the ID. 

“Hello. This is Eddie Munson.”

“E-Eddie? I, um, I think—FUCK YOU! —I need help.”

“You stupid bitch! Open this fucking door right fucking now!”

Eddie ross to his feet, tugging at Steve’s arm as he searched for his keys. “Where are you?”

“I-I’m in my bedroom. Simon and I got into a fight and-and he’s wasted. Pl-please…I’m scared. He’s never been this angry.”

Steve had already started the car, speeding towards your house. “Hey, it’s ok, sweetheart. We’re on the way, alright? Just stay on the phone with me, ok?”

“I’m sorry I was so mean to you guys today. Fuck… you two seem s-so different. I-I just…”

“Y/N don’t even worry about that right now. Everything’s going to be alright. We’re almost there.”

“You think you’re so high and mighty! Think you can talk to me anyway you want to! Fuck you, you fucking slut! Open the door, Y/N!”

“Oh, sure! You fuck all the groupies and fans that show up to my concerts but I’m the fucking slut!”

“Y/N, stop engaging. Talk to me.” There’s a loud crash and a squeak from your side as the line cuts off. “Steve…hurry.”

Five minutes later, they are bursting through your front door, running towards your bedroom where they hear your boyfriend shouting. Steve tackles him to the floor subduing him with his knee in his back. 

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Stop moving. You’re lucky I don’t fucking shoot you, asshole.”

“Y/N?”, Eddie softly called your name as you continued to cower in the corner with your head tucked into your arms. “Princess, everything is ok. I’m going to touch your arm.” You jump when his fingers graze your skin but you allow him to guide you to your feet. “There we go. Good girl. You’re doing so good. Can you look at me so I can check you out here?”

Your lips trembled as you faced him, his eyes slowly growing dark with fury as he scanned you over. Your face was red from your tears but he could also see where Simon had smacked your cheek. You had bruises that were starting to form on your arms where he must have grabbed you. 

“I’ll call the police and EMS.”, he grumbled trying to contain his anger. 

“No! No EMS. Please…I don’t need those pictures or attention.”

“But I do of me being pushed into a fucking cop car.”, Simon spat. 

Steve grabbed his hair and hit his head into the carpet. “Shut. Up.” His eyes meet yours as he speaks in a much gentler tone. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, um, I have a first aid kit here and all that so I’m fine.”

*** 

The police came by and took Simon away after taking everyone’s statements. Eddie and Steve took care of almost everything which you immensely appreciated. After everyone left, you expected them to as well but as your front door closed, you found you weren’t the only one on the other side. 

“I’m going to see if I can get your bedroom door back on its hinges.”, Eddie turned the corner to head down your hallway as Steve followed. 

You tiptoe after them, watching them with bewilderment as the metalhead got to work and Steve began straightening up the things Simon had damaged.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” They both froze, straightening up to look at you. “Why…why are you so nice to me? I’m such a fucking bitch to you. According to you, I’m a bratty, spoiled, washed up singer. WHY are you doing this?!”, you gesture around the room. 

They glanced at each other and after a few minutes it was Steve who finally spoke. “How should we be? Hm? Should we be like him? Do you think you deserve to be treated like this, Y/N?”

Their voices and demeanor completely changed in the moment; talking to you like a little girl who had just run into your parent’s room crying about a monster under her bed. 

“Sweetheart, NO ONE deserve to be treated like this. You didn’t trigger this. What he just did…isn’t your fault. You did the right thing calling us here. Now what kind of protectors would we be if we left you here alone with your house like this?”

You broke, sobbing almost uncontrollably as your hands covered your face. Strong hands tenderly grabbed your biceps, pulling you into a chest as you wrapped your arms around his back. Another palm delicately petted your head and for the first time in your life, you had never felt safer.

Stepping back, you wipe your eyes, glancing up to see Eddie’s kind, worry filled orbs running over your face as Steve stood beside him doing the same.

“Can, um, can we worry about this tomorrow and you stay here with me tonight?” 

“Yeah, we can stay here, honey. Do you have another room you can sleep in? I don’t think tomorrow morning you should open your eyes and this is the first thing you see.”

“I have a guest bedroom down the hall here.”

“Good because I agree with Steve. We can sleep on the couches out here and—”

“Can you sleep with me?”, you interrupt, your question startling both men. “I-I-I mean, you don’t have to. I just… I’m still a bit scared. I’m…forget about it.”

Eddie grabbed your hand as you started to walk away. 

“We can do that for you. If that’s what you want.” You nod your head to his statement, watching him closely as his eyes shift from security Eddie to something you had never seen before in any man. Whatever it was it made you feel weak in the knees. His fingers reached out to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Can you say it?”

“I-I want you two to sleep…in my bed…with me. Please.” That last word comes out almost in a whisper, pleading with them to stay. 

Steve’s fingers softly caress your cheek before gliding under your chin, turning you to face him. He had that same look Eddie had, that air of confidence you remembered seeing when you first met them but more dominate. 

“Good girl.”

[shiny-jr]

you literally have me making heart eyes at vil with your latest post. I always look forward to your writings, and they've never failed to make me feel satisfied after reading them.

you don't have to, but if it's alright to ask, do you have any extra thoughts or headcannons regarding raven retainer!vil?

Damnation Vil? Let me think. There's not much I could think of off the top of my head, as with Riddle, I had to be more creative with Vil since the Queen of Hearts and the Evil Queen both had very little screentime in their respective animated movies. And even then, most scenes I couldn't derive a lot of inspiration for, because there wasn't much to work with in the first place.

Firstly, I think some people tend to forget how utterly charming Vil is. Think about it. He's an actor, he plays parts well, but also he's dearly loved by many for a reason. Which is why I wanted to incorporate a softer more flirtatious side to Vil, because let's be honest, he probably has the confidence to flirt more than other characters.

For his looks, it was difficult to find specific images that fit the picture I had in mind. So for references, I decided to look up images of the Evil Queen. One result was a limited edition doll that came up, with a beautifully designed outfit. So when writing, I would look at that for reference when describing Vil's outfits.

As for that intimidating fearsome factor of Vil, I thought of the Baroness from Cruella. She's very dramatic and confident, but selfish and demeaning, cruel and narcissistic. Some of those aspects I decided to think of when writing scenes in which Vil was supposed to be more cold.

One detail I obviously had to tweak was the relationship between Neige and Vil, as the Evil Queen is Snow White's step-mother. It was fairly simple, to make Vil the step-brother instead. It made more sense, and appeared more effective that way which helped play into Vil's issues with his worth and jealousy towards Neige. This also helped extend the plot a bit, creating a role for Epel that was not part of the movie.

I do think Vil would be an effective King, if he doesn't become distracted by his own efforts to best those he sees as competition, which is something I mention in the story itself.

Mithridatism. Look it up. It's mentioned in the story too. Vil definitely practices that, for very obvious reasons.

When Vil was still a prince becoming more and more bitter every passing day as he felt everyone loved Neige more than him, he would turn to the original retainer since they would never mention his step-brother (hence another hint he would pick up on when MC arrived).

It's not just that Raven!MC recognizes that Vil is beautiful, but also recognizes that he's a danger, realizing his abilities and determination. Which is what Vil would desire in someone, wishing for someone to amuse him, see him, and recognize NOT JUST his beauty but all his talents he wasn't recognized before Neige for.

Anyways, just thoughts.

[its-time-to-write]

Hi y’all! This is my last unprompted angsty fic for a little! Gonna go back to our usually scheduled hijinks that are sitting in my request pile, I wanted to do this one first. I write all these as a way to deal with things that happen in my own life, whether it’s stressing about school and work, stupid romance, great romance, family, health, whatever, and I wanted to say (yet again) thank you for all the support. Sometimes I still can’t believe that you all like what I write but hey, there ya go

It’s funny, because my most popular fics are the ones that have been written directly out of my actual life. The ones that start out hard-to-deal-with, or with real, palpable heartbreak. The endings are often different because real life isn’t guaranteed a happy ending, but I’m allowed to take the past and see what it would be like if things went differently.

My characterization of Jamie is based on the only person I’ve ever really loved, which is why I can write his voice so clearly. I first watched Ted Lasso and was surprised at how similar they were, stupid hair and all. A lot of these fics are my way of archiving our story and immortalizing parts of it, as well as reminding myself that the love was there. It didn’t last and it wasn’t supposed to, but it was there.

Now, what’s real and what’s fiction? I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but I will say that it’s more than you might think and less than you might hope for.

So if you read this current fic and think, “huh, that was a really specific premise,” well I got news for you! It is. I’m in the first part of my journey on this, the early stages, and this story is not the way I want things to go for me. But I’m hoping that by creating a good ending out of a rough beginning, I can better face whatever lies ahead for me whether I approach it on my own two feet or with the assistance of some really sick wheels.

Anyway, enjoy this or skip it, it won’t hurt my feelings!

how to love being alive

Jamie’s at training when he gets the call. He barely registers the words on the other side when he’s cursing something awful, enough to make Roy Kent blush, and saying something about an emergency before speeding out the door. He pauses for a moment to look up an address in his phone, then he’s tearing out of the parking lot in a manner that puts Colin to shame. 

To summarize, he’s not acting like himself. 

He pulls up to a chiropractor of all places and the girl at the front desk must be able to tell who he’s here for because she just points to a door down the hall. Jamie’s pretty sure he’s never moved this quick in his life and wonders if this could translate to the pitch. Sure he’s fast, but he could always be faster. 

He bursts through the door to see you borderline catatonic, staring at the floor while a doctor pats your arm. She looks at Jamie and says, “Let’s chat for a minute outside,” before he has a chance to say a single thing. Jamie can’t tear his eyes away from you as the doctor leads him out and shuts the door. 

“Thought emergency contacts were for like, hospitals and shit,” he says. 

The chiropractor shakes her head. Jamie notes that her name tag says “Dr. Hadley,” and has a vague memory of you mentioning her a few months ago. 

God, it feels like a lifetime ago. 

“We’re not confident she’s in a fit state to get herself home,” Dr. Hadley says. “Her headspace is a little messed up, which is to be expected. Usually people come to these types of appointments with some moral support.”

Jamie asks, “What kinds of appointments?” and Dr. Hadley tilts her head at him. 

“You are Mr. Tartt, aren’t you?” she asks and Jamie just scoffs because he can’t decide between responding obviously, or telling her no, he’s not Mr. Tartt, that’s his father. He’s just Jamie. 

Dr. Hadley knows who he is because she doesn’t live in a hole in the ground, so she doesn’t ask for identification. She takes his scoff as permission to keep talking, so she says, “She’s here for her MRI results. We’ve been in the process of treating a protrusion on her spine.”

Jamie is positive everyone in this office must think he’s on drugs because Dr. Hadley is talking like he’s supposed to know this, but for the life of him he knows you’d never said a thing. 

“Your girlfriend has been in a severe amount of pain over the last few months, and we’ve finally been able to see the extent of the problem. Apparently she thought it would just go away, but it never did. So now she’s here with us.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie says automatically. Because it’s true, innit? You’re not. You’ve been broken up for a month because he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take the irritation at attending his matches and the tossing and turning in bed at night and the fact that you were wound so tight that you’d snap at the most minor offenses. 

You hadn’t been surprised when Jamie said he couldn’t do it anymore, it’s over, and at the time he had wished that you’d shown just a tiny sliver of emotion. After all, a year and two months is a long time to be with someone for you to coldly slide him his key and then turn away as though he were a stranger. 

He could have sworn there was a glimmer of tears in your eyes, but they’d looked that way for a bit now so maybe it was just allergies. There’s no reason for you to have been in the verge of tears for the entire month before the breakup, right?

Right. 

But he can’t think about that now because Dr. Hadley is frowning at him in a way that so comically reminds him of Roy’s sister that he has to bite back a laugh. 

Everything’s all twisted. 

“I certainly hope your split was amicable,” Dr. Hadley says. “You’re the only one listed as her emergency contact. She needs someone to get her home safely.”

“Right,” says Jamie. “Yes. Fuck. Right. Um, what exactly is wrong with her?” 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head. “That’s her personal information to share with you at her prerogative. And we should probably go see her, I’m sure she doesn’t want to be alone for long.”

Jamie snorts at that. This doctor doesn’t know you at all. If you’ve received any type of bad news the last thing you want is people hanging around. 

Jamie used to pride himself on being the only one you’d let into the bad-new bubble. 

You don’t count with those other people, you’d said once while wrapped around Jamie so tight he thought he’d have to call Ted to bring a crowbar. You said, I don’t have to pretend around you. I don’t ever get tired of you.

Jamie bitterly thinks that that statement turned out to be a lie, but he shakes it off because you’ve only been separated a month, and apparently he’s still your emergency contact for a doctor he didn’t know you had been seeing and fuck if you didn’t look like the most pitiful thing he’d ever seen. He’ll pretend it’s ok for as long as it takes to get you home and comfortable, and then he’s calling this office to get his number switched off. 

So he follows Dr. Hadley back into the room as she softly says your name in order to break whatever trance has you studying the carpet like your final exam is in ten minutes. 

You can barely look at her as she whispers something about going home and being gentle, to which you nod and finally look at Jamie. 

He wonders if you recognize him, because the stare you have is so vacant that you might as well be looking at a stranger. 

“Is she on drugs?” he asks because it looks like you’re on drugs. 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head and holds out her arm to help you up. “No, she’s just in a lot of pain. And emotional distress. It’s a killer combo, and she’ll need extra gentle handling for a while. No sitting for too long, no bending, no lifting. There’s a back support at the front desk for you to take.”

Jamie thinks he hears something pointed in the way Dr. Hadley says, extra gentle. What, like he doesn’t know how bad an injury can take you out? He’s in the Premier League for fuck’s sake. He knows how to deal with a strained muscle. 

Dr. Hadley transfers your arm over to Jamie’s so smoothly that he barely understands what’s happening as she ushers you both out the door, thrusting a small foam roll into Jamie’s free hand. 

“For lumbar support,” she says. “Won’t help much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Jamie’s pretty sure he’s said thanks as you climb in the car and then he’s in the drivers seat and it’s dead quiet. 

“Right,” he says to the silence. “What the fuck.”

You’re picking at your nails something fierce. Jamie has to fight the urge to take your hand in his. A month of separation is not long enough for this shit. 

“Can you just drive?” you ask in a broken voice. “I don’t want to be sitting for longer than I have to.”

There’s a new pitch in your voice, one Jamie’s never heard before, so he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t turn on the radio or a playlist or a podcast or anything, just drives in silence. He knows if it’s quiet long enough, you’ll talk. 

He’s the opposite. He doesn’t need time to crack wide open, just a kind touch or a soft glance and he’s an open book. He was always shocked how early into your relationship you’d figured that out. A soft, “What’s on your mind, Jaim?” and he was unloading about whatever stress or fear he had. 

He’s two minutes away from your flat when you break the silence. “I have gradual onset paralysis,” you say in a voice devoid of emotion. “‘Gradual onset’ means it happens over time. Paralysis means, well…paralysis.”

Jamie can hear what you’re saying and he understands it, but what catches him is the way you’re like nothing more than a hollow body. Not cracking a joke, not picking a fight. Just- empty. 

Jamie says a long and drawn out “Fuuuckk,” because what else can you say? It’s not really his business to comfort you or to pry, except he’s the one the doctor called, so he allows himself one question. 

“How did it happen?”

Last he knew, you were healthy as a horse. 

“Two disks in my spine popped,” you reply, still in that same awful emotionless voice. “They’re not really sure how, could’ve been any number of things. Anyway, it got into my nerves. And my spinal cord. And it’s messing things up and it’s only going to get worse. The scans were to see if they could operate, because sometimes you can remove the shards. Or whatever it is. But I guess they can’t, because if they tried I’d definitely be paralyzed. So all I can do now is be in pain and wait for my legs to shut down.”

Jamie doesn’t know how to respond to any of that but he’s saved from thinking of an adequate response because he’s at your flat. 

It was smart of you not to sell it when you’d moved in with Jamie. He wonders if you knew the breakup was inevitable. 

He hops out and opens the door like a gentleman, offering his hand like he’s some Mr. Darcy-type shit, except you had both agreed that Roy was Mr. Darcy and he was Bingley. So it doesn’t fit at all except as soon as you’re done clutching his hand so you can get out without unnecessary pain, his hand flexes itself like he’s in that damn movie. 

It wasn’t even a conscious choice, just a thing his hand decided to do, and he definitely thinks he’s going to have to talk to Ted about this. Or maybe Sam. Sam knows shit and is good at empathy. Maybe he’ll know what to say when your ex-girlfriend tells you she’s not going to walk ever again. 

Jamie follows you to the door as you fiddle with the lock and push it open with a sigh. For a moment he doesn’t know if he should go inside, but it smells like honey and cinnamon because it’s the beginning of fall and he thinks that he should at least make sure you’ll be alright. 

He notices you’re moving weird. All stiff, like. You’re trying to get an icepack out of the freezer but you can’t maneuver in a way that’s comfortable so Jamie grabs it and hands it to you. 

You mumble, “Thanks,” and Jamie catches a glimpse of the perpetual glimmer in your eye. 

“D’you need me to call someone?” he asks. “I can get Keeley down here. Or fucking… Ted. Or Colin.” He doesn’t say Sam, because he needs Sam. He can’t talk to Sam if he’s here with you. 

You shake your head. Jamie wonders if it hurts to talk, but he remembers how much you hate the sound of your voice when you’re crying. 

You take a slow, shallow breath to collect yourself. “I’m ok,” you finally say. “Not much anyone can do, and you’ve got training. I- I didn’t know they’d call you. I still have to switch your number with someone else. I’m probably going to ask Keeley since my family’s still far away.”

“Right,” Jamie says. Not much else to say. Except- 

“You were seeing that bone doctor when we were together, and you didn’t fucking say anything?”

It’s accusatory and he knows it, but he can’t for the life of him say it kinder. Ted’s always on about communication and shit, and that is not communication. 

You shuffle over to the couch and use it to help you lay face down in the floor. The icepack is precariously balanced on the small of your back. 

“Didn’t know how to tell you,” comes your muffled voice. “Least, I figured out how to tell you too late. What was I gonna say, ‘Sorry I’ve been a complete bitch to you for four weeks, I’ve got shit floating around in my spine that makes me hurt so bad I want to die?’ Sounds fucking stupid.”

Jamie wants to say, Swear jar because it’s a long-standing joke, but he catches the words right before they reach the tip of his tongue. 

“You could’ve said something,” he replies instead. “Chronic pain’s shit. It’s really shit and it makes you act like shit to the people you care about. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason.” As the words are coming out of his mouth, Jamie is reminded of a time when the roles were reversed, and you were giving him the “excuse versus reason,” speech. 

You’d said, You’re dad’s an abusive prick, Jamie. Makes sense that you’d have a lot of negative emotions. 

Fuck, if only you’d said something sooner. Maybe this would be something that you’d be cracking jokes about, or Jamie would be holding your hand, or he’d be laying right next to you as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

But your muscles spasm so that thought gets banished as you bite on your forearm in an effort not to yell. 

“Fucking hell,” Jamie says. “I don’t think you’re sorted on your own. I’m calling Ted.”

He walks to the other room so he can pretend he can’t hear your protests. 

—

Ted leaves training to Roy, Beard, and Nate. What’s the point in having four coaches if one of ‘em can’t leave for family emergencies?

Sure, you’re not actually family, but that’s Ted for you. He doesn’t do casual friendships. 

Jamie is out the door like a shot as soon as Ted knocks with a “Sorry, coach,” that Ted barely has a chance to wave off. 

Ted doesn’t say much once he’s inside, just rambles on about training and Kansas and Henry. He’s clattering around in your kitchen and you can’t find it in yourself to care what he’s doing so you just keep laying on the floor, willing your back to stop hurting. 

Finally, he comes over and sets down a smoothie in a short glass with a straw. 

“It’s so you can drink it without moving,” he explains. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” you say more to the couch legs than to Ted.

He sighs from where he’s crouched down next to you. “You don’t really have a choice, darlin’. You have to do this. The question is, are you gonna go through it alone?”

You shrug as best as you’re able. 

“Wrong answer,” says Ted, standing up. “You’ve got a whole crew of people here who are gonna root for you and support you with whatever you need. All you got to do is ask, sweetheart.”

Ah, fuck, you’re crying again and Ted can definitely tell because your shoulders are shaking. He’s pretty sure you’d want to save face so he stands up and says, “Beard’s coming over after training. Says he wants to figure out how to modify your house for a wheelchair or something. Thought I’d make us all dinner so we’re not so hangry when he mentions taking an ax to anything.”

The mental image of Coach Beard chopping down your stairs is enough to make you smile a little through your tears.

—

Waiting is really shitty. Like, really shitty. Every day is the same thing: tingly legs, shooting pains, phantom cramps. The worst was when Dani and Richard were over and you stood up to get something from the fridge, and your legs decided at that moment to lose feeling. You panicked with your arms held out for balance as you swayed back and forth for a moment, willing your feet to fucking move. They did, but not before Dani and Richard were on you in a flash, ready to catch you if you fell.

“Well that was weird,” you joke in an effort to cut the tension. They laugh, but you still catch their worried glance.

“You do not have to put on a brave face for us,” Dani says. “If you want to joke, we will joke. But if you want to cry, we will cry too.”

“You can cry,” Richard says, “I will just pour more wine.”

You laugh. There’s been a steady stream of Greyhounds at your flat for the last week and a half. Everyone and their mother (quite literally) has come by to see you. Your own parents were coming in a week to stay indefinitely while you sorted things out.

You wonder if it’s easier to lose control of your legs slowly or all at once? On the one hand, you at least have notice. But on the other hand, the long, drawn-out waiting feels like slow torture. Every day you wake up from restless sleep and experimentally wiggle your toes. Every day, you check off one more box on your mental calendar as you count down to a date that doesn’t even properly exist.

The only person who hasn’t visited is Jamie. You don’t blame him, though. Keeley’s come round almost every single day and has been successfully switched to your emergency contact. She’s the one you’re calling as soon as you discover you can’t move.

You’re pretty sure it’s getting closer. Your legs fall asleep more frequently and things are all numb. It’s like you know you’re in pain, but it’s not quite registering with your nerves.

It fucking sucks.

—

You don’t believe in intuition like spirits and all that, but you believe in it in that your brain can pick up things that you couldn’t if you were actually trying.

That’s why you’re pretty sure this is it.

Walking is pretty much a no-go right now, so you stiff-leg yourself to the couch and sprawl out as comfortably as you can.

You call Keeley, and she’s over in no time.

“Hi babes,” she says as soon as she’s through the door, “Can I call Rebecca for girls’s night?”

“Sure,” you say, “Might as well live it up.”

Keeley replies, “Great! She’ll be here in ten minutes,” and you laugh, really actually laugh, because of course Keeley’s already called her.

Rebecca swoops in all smiles and no sympathy which is great because if one more person pushes their lower lip out at you, you’re going to scream. She’s brought drinks and Keeley’s pulling out snacks and you’re going to talk and giggle until you fall asleep, ready for what the morning has.

“Is Shandy making a move on that one player?” Rebecca asks Keeley from the couch. 

“Nah,” Keeley calls back, “He said he wasn’t interested right now. Still hung up, I think.”

“What player?”  you ask. You know what Shandy’s like, and you feel for the poor guy.

Rebecca and Keeley are silent before Keeley says, “You wouldn’t know him.”

“Bullshit,” you reply. “I know everyone on that team and I know you haven’t signed anyone new recently. Is it Colin?” 

Rebecca shakes her head and gives Keeley a look. Keeley shrugs. “You’re the one who brought it up, babes.”

Rebecca turns to you. “It’s Jamie,” she says. “She’s been trying to bag him ever since Zava showed up.”

You shake your head. “She’s not right for him. He deserves someone better than that.”

Keeley’s back from the kitchen and scrutinizing your expression. “And what exactly do you mean by better?” she asks.

You laugh. “Oh no, not me. I wasn’t talking about me. No, I’m not- he needs someone different. Like, I don’t know, Roy’s sister, maybe? She’s great and a doctor to boot. Very caring too.”

“You’re caring,” Keeley says slowly, “And anyway, Molly doesn’t like him like that. They’re just friends.”

“Hang on, are you putting yourself in the same bracket as Shandy?” Rebecca interjects.

You shrug. “I was a complete bitch the last month we were together. There’s no excuse for it. I’m just surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

“You were in fucking pain!” Keeley exclaims. “You said you weren’t sleeping and everything fucking hurt and you couldn’t even think straight.”

You grab a handful of candy from a bowl. “Keels, I appreciate the sentiment, but I majorly fucked it. Like, there’s no going back. So he can date whoever he wants as long as it’s not fucking Shandy. Can we please, please move on?”

Rebecca’s eyes are narrowed but they both acquiesce. “Keeley, what about your love life? I’m sure it’s boring as usual.”

Keeley shrieks and smacks her with a pillow. “Fuck off,” she replies. “I’ll have you know it’s going very well…”

—

You were right. You wake up still on the couch tangled in Keeley’s arms, and the standard toe-wiggle just… doesn’t happen. It’s quiet, the early morning type, the kind where the sunlight isn’t so harsh and birds are chirping softly and all of Richmond hasn’t quite got up to begin their day. 

As you look at your unmoving toes, the first thing you feel is a rush of relief. The waiting’s over, you think. 

You look over to the wheelchair that’s been leaning patiently against the wall all this time. Here’s the first day of forever. You’re in no rush for it to start, so you let Keeley’s little snores and Rebecca’s heavy breathing lull you back to sleep. 

—

It’s definitely a learning curve. And it’s frustrating. And if one more person catches you crying out of sheer rage, you’re going to start throwing things. But like Ted said, you don’t really have a choice. 

Your mom said, “The only way out is through,” then grinned at the murderous glare you shot her way. She opened her phone and pulled up a picture of you, age three. “Same lovely expression as always,” she remarks cheerfully. That cracks your frown. You always were a funny kid. 

It takes a while to figure out how to get places. Keeley (the absolute angel) volunteered, but she’s busy with the PR firm and quite frankly, a little too delicate to help you into a car. You made the mistake of saying this exactly one time and because subject to a rant about how she’s “not weak, just PETITE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!”

Roy had punctuated her argument with a couple “That’s fucking right, babe"s all while rolling his eyes behind her back. It made you giggle. 

The general consensus was that at any given reasonable hour (or unreasonable if you’re Richard or Bumbercatch) a Greyhound or coach would be able to get you where you’re needed. And today, that place is Nelson Road. 

“How often does Jamie come visit?” Jan Maas asks, straightforward as ever. 

“Um, never,” you reply. “We broke up, remember?”

“Right,” agrees Jan Maas. “We all know that, I just assumed you had gotten back together.”

You laugh. How absurd. “And why on earth would you assume that?”

“Because he talks about you all the time,” comes his prompt reply. 

Huh. That’s interesting. You haven’t received so much as a single emoji from Jamie, but hadn’t thought a thing of it. But this, this is strange. This does not fit into your idea of how broken up people act. 

“Weird,” you say. “Wonder what the fuck that’s about.”

Jan Maas shrugs and moves to lift you from the car. 

—

It’s weird to be at Nelson Road, number one because it’s been FOREVER, number two because you’re eye-level with all sorts of things you’d never noticed before (ahem, part of the wall Roy kicked that no one cared to patch up), and number three because the last time you were here, it was as Jamie Tartt’s girlfriend. 

Jan holds open the door as you roll in, ready to face whatever lies in wait. 

It turns out whatever is a very excited Ted and Beard as well as a neutral Roy who present you a coaching jacket and a whistle. 

“You’re coaching with us today because that little rat bastard Nate went to the dark side,” Beard says. 

You remark, “Tell us how you really feel,” earning a snort from Roy and a chuckle from Trent Crimm. 

“Oh yeah,” Ted says, “this is Trent. He’s writing a book.”

“Cool,” you say, “but you do know I know jack shit about coaching?”

Beard shrugs. “Neither do we. Worked out pretty well so far.” That earns another snort from Roy. 

“Right,” you say. “Well, I guess I’m up for anything.”

“You mean ‘down,’” says Ted. “Oh I’m sorry, is it too soon?”

“Never,” you reply. “It’s never too soon to make trauma-related puns and this world, it’s either laugh or cry. So fuck it, I’m going to laugh.”

“Fuck yes,” grunts Roy before turning on his heel to yell at the team to GET THE FUCK ON THE PITCH YOU LITTLE PRICKS!

—

You don’t do much except sit there and watch as the coaches yell and point and run drills. It’s a chore to remind yourself not to check out Jamie’s butt as he runs by so you start thinking not yours, not yours, like a mental mantra. 

He’s not looking at you so you won’t look at him and you’re sure it won’t be a problem because there are so many people to look at and talk to, except lunch rolls around (haha) and you sit at the head of a table and Jamie’s on the bench right next to you. So. There goes the no eye-contact plan. 

You take exactly two bites of your sandwich before thinking fuck this and pushing yourself back so you can roll away. You can just take the elevator to see Becca. 

You’ve made it a good way down the hall when you hear Jamie calling your name while saying, “Wait,” so you move a little faster. 

But it’s still new and you’re painfully reminded that arms are not legs so he catches you with ease. 

 “The fuck are you running away for?” he asks, and you want to point out that technically, you weren’t running. Metaphorically though, he’d be right. 

“I’m not running,” you reply. “I was just going to see Rebecca.”

“Bullshit,” he says. “I know you, and that was running. Is it because of me?”

“No,” you say, and you realize how much you’ve been looking up today. Your fucking neck needs a break so you rub it and look straight ahead, past Jamie at a life-size decal of O’Brien on the opposite wall. 

“Why would I be running away from you? You’re not- I’m the shitty ex in this situation. I’m the one who fucked things up, Jamie, so… you don’t have to like, pretend that it’s your problem. I actually think it would be better if you were just mad and avoided me instead of whatever the hell is currently happening.”

Jamie rubs his jaw. He should be exasperated, he should, but instead the gears in his mind are turning. A few words stick out to him and then it’s like the final puzzle piece has clicked into place. 

“Hang on,” he says slowly. “Hold the fuck up. Did you mess things up on purpose?”

The moment the words are out of his mouth he wants to take them back and apologize, because there’s no way they’re actually true, except you have a look on your face that can only be described as guilty. 

“Fuuckkk,” Jamie breathes out and you hurriedly interject, “It wasn’t intentional! At least, not at first. It started because I was irritable because I hurt a lot, and then I convinced myself that I was faking it so I got mad at myself for being a little liar. And then I couldn’t sleep because I hurt so bad and everything was making me uncomfortable so I started snapping at you. I noticed it pretty quick so I figured I’d get the pain checked out and sorted because I didn’t think pulled muscles were supposed to last this long. And it turned out that it wasn’t a pulled muscle but some of my disks were all weird, and then one day in between physical therapy and the chiropractor, I fell on my back and jostled everything wrong and it fucking popped.”

Jamie thinks he knows exactly when that was. He remembers you saying something about falling while walking to your car after work and him asking if you needed ice. It was at the tail end of things, and he’d taken your stiffness figuratively as opposed to literally. Like, you were acting all cold because you hated him, not because you couldn’t move. 

“So,” you continue, “I just leaned into it. I mean, Dr. Hadley was only one of my doctors, but she’s the one who told me I- you know, could end up like this. She said if things popped and it got into my spinal cord or fluid or whatever and they couldn’t get it out, it was only a matter of time before it messed everything up. They only way to stop it at that point would be to not move so either way, I end up stuck.” 

You half-sob, half-laugh. “I didn’t know how to tell you and I could tell you were already annoyed with me so I just decided to let it happen. You’re better off without me, anyway. I hate asking for help and I hate when people give me empathetic looks or what-fucking-ever, and I was going to have to ask you for a lot of help. You don’t even fucking have time for that, Jamie.”

Jamie is at a loss for words, and you’ve run out of things to say. 

You stare at each other in the hallway by the elevator, breathing heavily. You’ve both triggered each other’s fight-or-flight response, and it seems you’re both down for a fight.

“Right,” Jamie says finally, “ok, yeah, ok. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have to deal with this?”

You nod. 

“Right,” he says again. “That’s fucked up.”

You don’t respond and he looks at you closely. “You know that’s fucked up, yeah?”

You shrug. 

“Jesus, babe.” Jamie runs his hands through his hair. He’s going to have to fix his headbands. “Alright,” he says yet again, “look. Dr. Sharon and me- we talk. And, you’re supposed to be able to talk to people about shit like this. Like, me playing football isn’t supposed to mean I don’t have time for the people I love. And if you’re feeling that way or if you’re hurting, you have to tell me so I don’t think you’re being all pissed off because you hate me. That’s the whole point of love, babe. You take care of each other’s shit.”

“Jamie, I can’t get places easily anymore. I can’t drive and I can’t go up steps. I will never be able to storm the pitch to kiss you or walk with you in Brazil. I get mad really easily because everything’s so fucking frustrating and I just want to punch something.” You shake your head. “You don’t deserve any of that. You need someone who can be there for you and isn’t a total pill to be around.”

“Are you fucking trying to push me away?” he asks.

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Obviously!”

“Well fucking don’t. You almost had me the first time, but good luck getting rid of me now.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“For fuck’s sake, just kiss,” groans Will, walking by with an armful of laundry. 

“Fuck off, William!” you both say in unison and then Jamie’s on one knee, eye-level with you and brushing a thumb across your chin. 

“Fucking hell, love,” he breathes. “You have to remember that you can talk to me, yeah? Just promise you’ll remember.”

You nod, unable to speak. 

“Good,” he says. “We’re giving this another go. And if you can’t kiss me on the pitch, might as well do it here, yeah?”

[arctrooper69]

hiii! i just found your hurt/comfort dialog prompt list you had tagged and i'm such a sucker for that kind of stuff. could you please do prompt 34. "you're covered in blood, need to tell me something?" with wolffe? maybe even a little bit of prompts 20 and 35 from the the hurt/comfort sprinkled in there too? i absolutely adore your work and your such a fantastic writer, i look forward to everytime you post, and you do such a beautiful job on your writing that i can't wait to read this once it is done (if you decided to do it) . feel free to change it how you want, and thank you for taking time out of busy day to read this. love you <333

Hey! I'm so glad you've been enjoying my work! Sorry it took me awhile to get this out to you. I had so many ideas for it but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Hope you enjoy it! 😁

Prompt# 20: "How long did you think that you could hide that?"

Prompt# 34: "You're covered in blood, need to tell me anything?"

Prompt# 35: "It's just a headache, I'm fine."

--------------------------------------------------

Love is a Battlefield

The new General doesn't want to ask for help. Commander Wolffe does so anyway.

Warnings: Blood. Angst. Battlefield scenes. Hurt/Comfort.

--------------------------------------------------

"Okay, today officially sucks." You grumbled under your breath, cursing whatever cosmic Force led you to be in your current state. Groaning you dragged yourself back over the ledge and collapsed in the mud. Everything hurt. Your clothes were stiff with dried and drying blood and at this point, you weren't sure if it belonged to you or to those damn splox who's nest you'd fallen into. Probably both.

Ok, now to find the rest of the company. You were sure that you hadn't strayed too far from the battlefield when you'd been drug off by battle droids and thrown from a cliff in the resulting fight. But hey, at least you took them down with you. You thought, cracking a smile. Master Plo would've been proud. On the other hand, you frowned, you had gotten separated from everyone else - so maybe not so much.

You drew a sharp breath between your teeth. A burning, grating feeling radiated from your side as you stepped over a rock and nearly fell to the ground. You paused for a moment to let your tunneling vision focus again, fighting back the urge to throw up. Maybe some of the blood was actually yours. The trek back to camp was going to take much longer than you expected.

Good. Maybe that would give you time to mull over the conversation you'd had yesterday morning with the commander of you battalion.

You were sure it was the reason that Commander Wolffe was ignoring you earlier today.

***

You'd chosen to continue on with the battalion after Master Plo had received an urgent message from the Council, recalling him from the field. Wolffe disagreed.

"You're injured!" He snapped, more forcefully than intended.

You sighed rolling your eyes. "It's just a headache. I'm fine. You know I've had worse, Commander." It was more than a headache, probably a concussion due to the nausea and dizziness that currently plagued you. But he didn't need to know that.

Wolffe pinched the bridge of his nose.

"General, I saw that spider droid fling you halfway across the battlefield. Can you at least go to medical to get checked out? I need you-" He froze, then coughed quickly, trying to pass off his slip-up as though he'd been interrupted mid sentence. "We. We need you. Your men need you at your best, general."

He coughed again and quickly left the room, leaving you frozen in place.

***

Did he really say that? You replayed his words in your head over and over again.

"I need you."

You couldn't deny that it had shaken you. You couldn't deny that it had hit you in such a way that made your whole body tingle and flood with warmth. As much as you tried to suppress it and convince yourself it was nothing, you had found yourself staring at the Commander a lot recently. The way he confidently carried himself, the subtle spark in his eye, the way he cared for his men even though he hid it behind that abrasive and sarcastic front - it was all so perfect. So attractive. So him.

No, he couldn't have meant it like that. You were his superior and even more importantly, you were a Jedi. No attachment allowed. He definitely couldn't have meant it like that. It was simply a slip of the tongue. He felt nothing for you and you felt nothing for him. You told yourself that your infatuation wasn't real. Commander Wolffe was a good solider and your fondness for him was simply a professional sense of pride. That's all.

Distant voices interrupted your brooding. Several clone troopers were searching high and low, calling out for someone but you didn't quite catch the name.

"Who are we looking for?" You walked up to the trooper closest to you. His shiny white armor was streaked with mud and ash - one of the new guys. Splash, they'd christened him on account of the puddle of mud he'd landed in immediately after jumping from the gunship into the field. It was hard to believe you'd only been here for three days. It felt like three years.

"We're looking for the General!" He explained hurriedly, hardly giving you a side glance.

Your heart dropped. Surely not Master Plo. Had he not left for Coruscant after all? Your hero and former master had seemed invincible ever since he'd chosen you to be his Padawan.

"General Plo Koon?" You asked hesitantly.

Splashed grunted as he stepped over a log. "No, the other one."

A wave of relief washed over you. You could've laughed out loud if your head wasn't so cloudy. Your side screamed with every step. You took a shallow breath, trying to ground yourself.

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me.

Supplementing with the force wouldnt last long and it was draining, but it was better than the agony you'd been in. You took a deep breath, allowing the pain to become a whisper and looked back up at the clone.

"Well you found her!" You joked.

"What?" He stood up looking confused. Then he looked over at you.

Splash straightened up upon realizing that he had indeed found the General. He was glad he was wearing his bucket because he could feel his face turning red with embarrassment. He scrambled stiffly to attention. "Uhm, sorry Sir. I mean Ma'am. Uh, General." He stuttered, trying to compose himself. You chuckled, wincing as the movement pulled at your wounded side. Splash looked alarmed as if he'd just realized that his General was covered in blood. "Are you injured, Ma'am?"

You grit your teeth to hide the pain. "No, I'm fine, thank you. I believe it all belongs to the splox that I killed. Fell into a nest of em."

He looked at you, unsure if you were being serious or not, trying to recall if the regulation manuals told him what to do in a situation like this.

"We should probably make our way to medical, all the same." He concluded. "Just to be safe. Get you checked out and all." He offered his arm.

You shook your head. "No that's alright. They're much too busy right now, seeing as the battle has just ended."

"Well I'm sure..."

You put a hand up to stop him. "It's fine, Splash. I can take care of myself. Let's worry about making our way back to camp."

"Of course, General."

***

You made your way back to camp and bid Splash a farewell. Exhausted, you yawned and slowly made your way back to your tent, passing the Commander's tent on your way there.

"General!" Commander Wolffe sprang to his feet the moment he saw you. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

His eyebrows knit tightly together with a frown. If you didn't know better, you almost thought he looked concerned. Worried even. But that would be stupid. You were reading too much into it. He was simply a solider looking out for the welfare of his commanding officer. That's it. Nothing more.

"I'm good!" You grinned, hoping he didn't notice the way your teeth ground against the pain in your head and now your side.

Wolffe's face became unreadable.

"Just good!?" He growled. "General, you are covered in blood. 'Good' does not even begin to cover it. Do you need to tell me something?"

Yes. I think I'm in love with you.

"No not really." You nonchantly shrugged. "It's not mine. Fell into a nest of those giant splox beetles and had to take em out before they ate me. You know how it is."

Wolffe rolled his eyes. He didn't believe you, but what could he do? He wasn't your superior, he couldn't order you to tell him. He made a note to ask Cody and Rex to let him into the clones-with-stubborn-generals club. He could sure use some advice.

"Could you be anymore bull-headed?" he wanted to yell at you as you left the room, interpreting his silence as the end of that conversation.

Wolffe groaned in frustration. Why did he care so much? Why did the thought of you being wounded send waves of terror cascading through his core. You were acting strange, subtly walking as though every step sent agony shooting through your body thinking nobody would notice. He noticed. He wanted to pick you up in his arms and bandage your wounds. He wanted to softly kiss each scar on your skin.

You were a good leader. He understood wanting to be tough, wanting to be strong for the soldiers under your command. If he was honest with himself, he did the same.

You trudged wearily back to your tent, ignoring the pain that was slowly returning to full force with a vengeance as though it was angry at being willed into submission.

You made it a point to avoid medical. The dwindling amount of medical supplies worried you. It was only a matter of time before they would run out if they weren't sent relief. The chief medical officer had drastically downplayed the dire straits the company was in when you asked him. You'd seen the inventory. It was scarce. It wouldn't be right, going to medical right now. Not when you could most likely patch yourself up with the small medkit by your bunk. The clones made up the backbone of the GAR, it was only right that they take priority over you.

***

It was a miracle of the Force that you hadn't passed out by the time you reached the tent. Biting your lip to keep you from making too much noise, you peeled off your shirt to assess the damage, grabbing a towel from the shelf.

You bit back a pained moan and your vision swam as you gripped the edge of your cot to steady yourself. A large gash curled around the side of your chest from the bottom of your breast to your hip. The torn skin bled heavily, quickly turning the towel a crimson red.

This was...not good.

The com chirped, making you jump. You felt dazed and exhausted. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before answering the com. Sergeant Sinker's brisk voice echoed from the device.

"General, the clankers are moving in from the North. They've engaged the front and the 501st is calling for aid. What are your orders?"

Your men needed you. Who were you to ignore them? What kind of leader would you be if you sent them off while you stayed behind. "A good leader leads by example" Master Plo always said. You were tired of the animalistic way the clones were treated - as if they were only droids or worse. You would be there for your men, fighting right up front beside them. Right beside Commander Wolffe.

You lit up the com. "Proceed with the request, Sergeant. I'll be there shortly."

You looked at the medkit. Well, so much for that. You quickly taped up the wound and slapped some bacta treated gauze on it. Then you quickly changed your clothes, willing yourself to ignore the nauseating pain. You steadied yourself with a hand on the wall before wiping the cold sweat from your clammy skin. You tried to breathe, once more closing your eyes in meditation once again squashing down the pain. The show must go on. The General must lead her men into battle.

***

General Skywalker was right to call for aid. The Separatist forces were throwing everything they had at you. You jumped over the guns of a tank, slicing through the controls to disable it. Droid after droid came at you from all sides and you cut them down. If only the Commander could see you now in all your glory.

An explosion knocked you off your feet, wrenching you from your stupor. Pain surged through your body as you pushed yourself to your feet. The continuous onslaught of enemy forces wasn't so fun now. You began to realize just how tired you were. Trying to catch your breath felt as futile as swimming in honey. Your mind felt sluggish and your arms felt like lead. A B2 took aim and fired. You saw him fire and raised your saber to block but it was a fraction of a second too slow and the blast hit your shoulder. Kriff. You hit the ground hard, letting the awful, searing pain wash over you. You wanted to close your eyes. You wished you could just rest. Just for a moment.

Your eyes flew back open. No. The men need you. Get up. Shakily you forced yourself to your knees and onto your feet. One more time. You knew this was abusing the force but it was for an honorable reason. Right?

I am one with the force and the force is with me. I am one with the force and the force is with me. Pain is temporary. Accept it simply as a signal sent by the body. Accept the pain. Respect it. Don't fight it. Ask your body to begin to heal.

You let out a feral scream, pouring every last ounce of energy and willpower into your prayers, knocking back an entire wave of droids. And then you felt nothing.

***

My head. The first thing you noticed upon regaining consciousness was the skull splitting headache that you could almost feel radiating down your entire body. It felt as though someone was spearing red hot needles through your eyeballs, twisting them through the many sections of your brain. The pain made you nauseous.

An agonized wheeze drifted from your lips as you tried to raise your hands to cup your face. When did my arms get so heavy? Pain shot through your side and shoulder as you tried to move. Panic gripped you when you couldn't.

"Ah kriff," a gruff voice cursed. "Hey! General. General, it's okay. Calm down. You're safe." You'd know that voice anywhere - it was the only clear thing that cut through the haze of pain. Commander Wolffe.

He barked a command at someone and after a few minutes the pain had loosened it's claws. It wasn't much but it was better than before.

"What do you need, General? Are you still in pain?"

"Lights," you managed to groan. Even that took too much energy and you desperately hoped that you wouldn't be sick in front of the Commander.

Wolffe immediately jumped from his chair, quickly shutting off the lights. That helped some, but not much. It still felt like your head was being lobotomized by a pickaxe. Your side and shoulder felt like they'd been broken off and trampled by a bantha. A bantha that was on fire maybe.

"You are so kriffing stubborn, you know that!?" Wolffe growled. Seeing you wince, he lowered his volume but continued with the hard and bitter tone.

"How long did you think you could hide that!? Hmm?" He motioned to your side.

"You almost died yesterday." He said, softening his voice ever so slightly.

Wolffe looked tired. His eyes were sunken and even his cybernetic one had a dark shadow beneath it. He looked like he hadn't shaved or showered since the battle. His grey armor was still scuffed up with dirt and grime. A small bacta patch adorned his right eyebrow.

You looked away, shame burning at the corners your eyes, adding to the overwhelming pressure in your head. You failed him and now he hated you. You turned your head away from him wincing at the pain but you couldn't bear to have him see the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

"Look at me." A command. He didn't have the authority to give you a command, but you felt compelled to comply all the same. Hastily wiping your eyes in a futile attempt at seeming alright, you turned towards him. Your breath caught as he wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling it from your face.

"Stop kriffing pretending that you're okay." Still a command, but this one felt softer. His voice still held the rough, bitter edge that defined him so well but as you met his eyes, they held an uncertain gaze of vulnerability.

"Your men need you alive. They care about you, General." He paused, pacing back and forth in the dark room. He came to a stand still by the foot of your bed, refusing to meet your gaze, as though he had something he wanted to say. Finally he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Oh kriff it." He snapped. "I care about you, damnit!" He shook his head and began to pace again, the anger returning to his visage.

"General Plo said you could've died." He spat. "He said that you had spread yourself so thin, used up so much energy that you could've killed yourself. Do you..." He cut himself off and took another breath, clenching his fists tightly. "Do you know what that would've done to this company. Do you know what that would've done to me!?"

There was fire in his eyes when he looked back up at you. "It would've killed me too."

You lay there in your bed staring at him - shocked at this outburst. What was he saying? That he cared for you? That he loved you? That he thought about you as much as you thought about him?

"I.." you began softly.

"No. I'm not done."

You shut your mouth.

"General, when you came back to camp covered in blood, I had to restrain myself from throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to medical myself. I knew something was wrong but I trusted that you knew what you were doing. It was the same when I saw you collapse yesterday. It took everything in me not to race to your side."

He shook his head, disappointed in himself, and angry with you. "I should be holding the line with my men, not babysitting my General!"

You stared blankly ahead, letting his anger wash over you. So that's how he saw you. That solves one problem, you tried to convince yourself. It was good that he didn't reciprocate your feelings. That made it easier to cleanse yourself of any feeling of attachment. But then why didn't hurt so bad? Why did it feel like a part of your soul had been sawed away? Wasn't letting go of your emotions supposed to bring you peace? This crushing weight of disappointment and heartbreak was anything but peace.

The room was quiet save for the beeps and whirs of the medical equipment around you. The silence felt deafening. Then finally Wolffe let out a sigh.

"I'm....sorry..." The words dragged themselves reluctantly from his mouth.

You didn't respond.

The bed buckled slightly as Wolffe sat down on the edge. He tentatively rested a hand gently on your back, expecting you to recoil or stiffen under his touch. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as you leaned into his touch instead.

He sighed, rolling his neck. "Look," he began awkwardly. "I'm not good at this kind of thing so I'm just going to be honest with you. I..." He stopped. You turned your face towards his. He took a breathe, not daring to make eye contact. "I think I'm in love with you. Kriff. No, I know I'm in love with you."

You gasped, the dam broke and tears began to stream down your face.

Wolffe jumped up, startled and clearly embarrassed. "I...I mean... I... I didn't mean..." The normally confident Commander stumbled over his words in a shameful horror.

"No," you sobbed. You felt so relieved. Everything felt right again. "You didn't do anything wrong." He looked down at you, eybrows knitted upwards in confusion. "Then why..." He motioned to your tearful face.

"Because I love you too and I was afraid that you hated me. I was afraid that everyone would see me as a terrible General. And also my everything hurts and..." you sobbed, "...and I love you so much."

Wolffe looked down at you with amusement and a strange softness took hold of his features - a foreign look for his usually serious demeanor.

"You look nice when you smile," you whispered with a small grin. "But you can go back to frowning if that's more comfortable for you."

Wolffe rolled his eyes as he settled down in a chair beside your bed. "You should get some sleep, General." Back to his serious old self again but he kept that twinkle in his eye. Only for you. he thought.

"I'll be right here when you wake up."

--------------------------------------------------

@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @rain-on-kamino @jiabeewrites @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampirerouge

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[cassied03]

Okay so to the two people who said they would listen/read my ideas, this is for you two before i go to sleep and expand on a later date.

•So for galra keith I would definitely think that he had a lot more galra traits then the show gave him.

• For example his nails were typically stronger and grew in a curved shape

• For another example, his hair was naturally a dark/deep purple but his first foster family after his dads death dyed it black thinking keith had dyed it young to the purple color

• Speaking of purple, i would also think that his eyes were a deep dull purple/plum color

• moving to the scene where Krolia suggests the name Yorak, i personally think that Keiths dad would have included that in his name after she left earth

• so Keiths full name is "Keith Yorak Kogane"

•In terms of galra, he'd probably be seen as a late bloomer to the blade of marmora because he hasn't grown in his ears or tail, not knowing that his tail was surgically removed by one of his foster familys (theres a very rare chance of a human being born with a tail, and I think the tail wouldn't have grown much because the human body has evolved to not need a tail and half his biology was against the tail)

Now onto the good stuff, ergo the trans stuff

• i'd say he's transmasc who's known since he was a young boy, but that could also be me projecting, who knows

• my big thing was what about periods? because i know that everyones is different, i'd say his started at 15 give or take a few years, but before he ended up leaving earth

• With his period, because Galra most likely dont have anything quite as similar (based on cats, i suppose. With cats all their internal bleeding is reabsorbed), his periods would probably be very light as half his body (might/) will absorb the blood and the other half will shed it out.

• I'd say for the same reason he uses cloth pads, simply for the reuse ability and his light flow would have made it easy to clean

• i also head cannon that him growing out a mullet is the result of him shaving his hair at some point, and regaining enough confidence to grow his hair out while knowing that he could easily cut his hair if he felt dysphoric

• with the chest situation, it can go two ways. with the episode when keith and lance are going to the pool, Keith is shirtless, so that is a point to small-chested keith

• but we could also just, ignore that and pretend that he was in a compression shirt that was meant for trans people to swim in. because if there was shorts with them then im sure there was something for compression (ignoring how the alteans could shapeshift)

•One of my biggest head cannon when it comes to trans!keith, is that only Shiro knows, and that if they're ever overheard talking about it (like shiro lecturing keith about working out in a binder or something), everyone just completely misunderstands the conversation

Keith: Shiro it's fine (Shiro just said he can't work out safely in his binder)

Shiro: No it's not keith, you can't keep doing this. You know why. We're in space, you can't avoid the consequences anymore than you could on earth. (Shiro is talking about Keiths ribs, and how if Keith breaks a rib or something akin to that, then there is nothing in space that can help him as opposed to earth where at the very least he could have fixed his ribs)

Lance or Coran overhearing and thinking that it's just about keiths little pick pocketing habit (another head cannon): Huh, i didn't know Keiths been a pick pocketer when he was on earth.

Anyways, thats all i can come up with right this second, if i feel like i'm able to i'll expand on a couple of my head cannons / thoughts

[ilydeku]

pretty right feeling, pity wrong time | senku x reader

Pieces of leather were scattered throughout the camp grounds before them, all scribbled with advanced models and designs of the such. The air was filled with sneers and gleefulness as you and Senku continued scrawling together. Chrome, Gen, and the rest were awestricken by how excited you both looked. It wasn't often that they get to see you guys express genuine emotions of joy. After all, you two have been working hard to build the kingdom of science.

"A wind turbine, y/n!? Haha..so exhilarating!"

"Yeah! But we'd need lots of iron and carbon compounds to make steel...and generators...and electric motors..." You sighed, realizing that a wind turbine required much more than what you held. "...oh well."

"Hey, it's not impossible though. We're getting closer and closer to reaching those eras, so don't gloom on it-"

"Haha, are you serious? As if I'd give up after one concept." You took one of his and your leather drawings and set them on the ground together. "Here!" Senku scooted closer to where you were sitting to get a closer look at your observations. "I see you've drawn out these bluff bullets and lead spheres." You look at him for his reaction and back to the models.

"Yeah...That's a diagram of a catapult you made, isn't it..." A snarky grin grows on his face as your idea came to surface.

"If we built my catapult..."

"And created multiples of my lead spheres..."

"Combining the two, we'd be practically making...-"

"A CANNON!" You both exclaimed in unison, followed by maniacal retorts against Tsukasa's empire. It was amusing how much you two got along. Well of course you did; you were both science freaks after all. Watching the playfulness and tease between you and Senku was like watching children play. Gen had already taken notice of the likeness and relation even before this moment: the cooperation, solitary partnered tasks, and assistance, but this much liveliness between you and Senku made him believe his hunch could be even more valid. He crossed his arms and smirked before opening his big mouth.

"Ooh Senku-chan, y/n-chan! You two really seem to get along with each other, don't youuu~" His hands cupped his face as he swayed around all lovey-like. Your head turned around toward Gen's direction, unamused by his behavior.

"Uhuh. Yes we do," you blankly replied, turning your attention back to Senku who was scribbling a new page of your combined structures, too lost in his little science world to have his focus drawn away. He was hunched on his knees over the piece of leather, one arm to support himself while the other scribbled away. You kneeled just a few inches from him, close enough to see what he was doing. "Anyways, Senku, if the wood isn't strong enough to support the spheres, a possible solution would be to create densified wood." He paused for a moment, hovering his graphite over the leather. Densified wood? Think Senku...what was formula again?

"...Ahh, you mean the process of boiling wood in a mix of sodium hydroxide and sodium sulfite?"

"Mhm. It'll take out some parts of lignin and hemicellulose. After boiling the wood, we'll use heating compression which will strip out some polymers for the new wood to reform and... well I'm pretty sure you know how the rest works out."

"Of course, resulting in the collapse of cell walls and the complete densification of the natural wood with highly aligned cellulose nanofibers." Senku rested the piece of graphite on the ground as the sketch of the model came to completion. He sighed, just before a soft chuckle, and looked up at you. A genuine, confident smile came upon his face, complimenting his features.

"Heh. You're pretty smart, you know that?" Specks of warm rose tainted your cheeks. It was merely a compliment, but still. Compliments coming from Senku were pretty rare, considering the fact that well... he's him.

"Pfft," you chuckled, sharing the given smile. "You just noticed?"

Gen frowned as you two interacted with each other. He was being ignored. Oh well. "Oh Senku-chan, y/n-chan! You sure do have quite the chemistry going on between you two! You know I have a great idea for you guys! Why don't you become a happy little couple!? And then you two could get married, become one, and create-"

"Nope."

"Absolutely not."

"Not in ten billion years." You and Senku stopped to give Gen poker-faced looks. An aura of coldness and grimace radiated from the both of you towards him, immediately putting his mouth on hold.

"..."

"Hey, Senku, you know Gen is right!" Chrome piped, skipping over, crouching down to Senku, and knocking him over with a mere jab of his elbow.

"Shut up, Chrome. You almost stepped on all our models," Senku frowned, pushing Chrome off to crawl and collect the scattered pieces of leather. "We're busy right now. Go be an idiot elsewhere."

"Senku, you like y/n? Haha, oh man! I didn't think you'd ever be interested in a girl, Senku!" Ginro shouted from his post. Interested in the overheard speculation, he raced over and joined Chrome in his playful tease. You couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Senku sat cross-armed with both Ginro and Chrome spitting flirty nonsense at him. It was funny how Senku's face remained neutral, denial after denial of any fascinations towards you.

But deep down, his heart was endeared with nothing but adoration for you.

He's tried to push these silly feelings away, but it was useless. Love was never his thing and was never something he intended on getting distracted by. He fully believed that science was the only love he'd ever need, but with you, it was just something so different, so interesting. His love for you would only waver within.

You reciprocated the same feelings. The inclination profound beneath that scientific onlook of yours. Between you two, that love you shared was as clear as day, an affectionate pact of silence. He could see it in your eyes. You could see in his eyes, yet the sense had never been spoken of. There was absolutely no time to spare for romance. You two knew that. An unspoken rule. That's why you both haven't said anything about your feelings because now wasn't the time. Not yet.

Senku's face softened as he turned to you, Chrome and Ginro continuing with their nonsense. He grinned. You grinned.

I know you know and you know I know. Wait just until after we build this world together. I promise I won't keep you waiting any longer than that, y/n.

just finished watching dr. stone, w anime, looking forward to s3

bro i haven't fallen this hard for a character since izuku midoriya, and that's been years 💀

<iheartsenku3

support me? :)

[f1stargirll]

Conversation Friends ° Lando Norris

Chapter Two

Word count : 1.658k

Description : slow burn, college!au (enemies to lovers) and more to come

Hey guys, sorry this chapter came out a week late, I was suffocating from homework. But here we are! And I'm currently on a week break from uni so I'll try to write as much as possible during this time, I have sooo many ideas. I think I'll even try writing oneshots so if anyone has requests I'm open to them! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, and feel free to message me if you want to be tagged in the next parts 🧚🏼‍♀️

PSA : Since I’m STUPID, I’ve started writing on a side blog which means there’s a lot of things I can’t do!! So I’m switching to my main blog which is @f1stargurl !!! The next parts and the rest will be posted on there, so if anyone follows me here, if you could pls follow me on @f1stargurl 🤧 To quote mister Leclerc once ai gain, “I am stupid”

Hi Lando,

I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I’m sure that stupid encounter at the supermarket was just a result of the both of us being irritated and tired. As you can probably tell, my first few days here weren’t so easy and it might’ve been one of the reasons why I was so unpleasant, and once again, I apologize. 

I really am willing to put this stupid history behind us and get this program started!

I hope you’ll give it a thought and I look forward to hearing from you soon, have a good week! 

Sincerely, y/n

It’s been six days since I’ve sent Lando that email and pushed my pride to the side to organize a date. Well, it’s not a date, but still- I guess it is technically a date? Is it a date if we hate each other? It’s a meeting. Yeah, I was trying to organize a meeting. 

Still no response. 

Closing my laptop, I decided to take my mind off this situation and take a break at a coffee shop near campus. 

Taking a step inside the coffee shop I spot Daniel and Alex sipping on their drinks. Seeing Daniel again instantly put a smile on my face, we’ve been hanging out these last few days and having him by my side feels great. 

“What’s up guys!” I say while waving at them across the room. 

“Hey y/n!” They both got up from their seats to give me a hug.

 “Go get your drink and come join us,” Alex invited me, pointing at their booth, “we were talking about the party this weekend.”

“Don’t mind if I do then”, I respond smiling from ear to ear. 

After picking up my hot chocolate I sit down in front of them, Daniel makes fun of me for not liking coffee, again.

“I swear y/n you’re 21 and you still don’t like coffe? You need to grow up,’ rolling my eyes, I playfully shove Dani’s shoulder feeling his muscle tense under the light punch, so annoying, and buff, wow. We kept talking for more than two hours. I got to tell them all about Lando ghosting me and about the amazing cheese and garlic pasta I made last night. 

“I think he’ll come to his senses. He has to,” Daniel insists, crossing his arms in front of him. Ooh, veiny forearms… “the reason you guys hate each other is so ridiculous anyway, over freaking pasta!” he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“I think you did the right thing trying to reach out, at least you’ll be the bigger person” Alex says, his hand reaching for his matcha latte, “I’m sure you’ll be able to figure this out together.”

“Thanks for the optimism I really appreciate it” I say with a weak smile, not really believing in Linguini’s philanthropist potential, “I just hope this won’t ruin the program for me…”

“What? No way!” Daniel exclaims sitting up on his side of the booth, “Look, you’ve got your Conversation Friends right here” he says putting his arm around Alex’s shoulder who’s nodding and smiling in agreement, “and you’ve got Lola!”

“You’re right Dani, I’m not gonna give myself anxiety over a guy who can’t even be polite,” I state with confidence, “anyways, I’m so excited about the party this weekend!”

Once back in my room, I decided to check my inbox one more time. Just in case.

Still no response. 

The sight tugs at my heart a little. We have our first mandatory meeting in a few days and I still have no contact with my partner. I wouldn’t care so much about it if it was just about the two of us, but the whole group is supposed to visit a museum and I don’t want to be the only one there without a partner, that would be too embarrassing. 

But as I reminisce on the topic, I realize I’m not just sad anymore, I’m bitter. All week I saw everyone meeting up and doing fun activities with their partners, but I can’t get an email back? Even a “k” would’ve been enough… I’m stunned at how childish this boy is being. 

Putting my phone on my wooden nightstand, I close my eyes and try not to overthink about the situation. Is it my personality? Maybe it’s because of the way I look.

But I catch myself slipping, the last thing I need to do is to start doubting myself because of a man again.

God, this British Society class is really kicking my ass right now. Why did I even choose the 8am one, what is wrong with me? The professor starts off the first chapter of the class as we hear a loud knocking on the door. 

“Sorry I’m late,” I see Lando standing in the doorway, out of breath, his cheeks a light pink from the rush. His eyes search around the room for any seat still available until they meet mine. There’s one right next to me, but of course he’ll never take that one. He sets down his bag on the table front row and I feel my heart racing from embarrassment as my mind instantly jogs back to the email and how vulnerable it was. He turns around a final time and blankly looks at me. What is that supposed to mean? 

The class went by slower than ever, my mind speeding about different ways to go up to him and finally settle this ridiculous situation. 

8:55 finally strikes the clock as the professor concludes his explanation. As I put away my computer I see Lando clutching his books and bolting towards the exit. 

Not on my fucking watch. I head for his direction, calling out his name, “Lando! LANDOO!”

He turns on his heels in a swift motion, “What do you want from me?”

Suddenly feeling small, I still mustered up the courage to ask him about what’s going on, “Well you’ve read my email so I don’t know why you’re acting like you don’t know,” I grumble. “I feel like I’m making way too much effort here.”

“What email? What are you even talking about?” he asks, his thick brows furrowing in irritation. “I didn’t even give you my real email, the one I wrote down was just to fill the blank so the teacher won’t bug me,” he explains, still slightly confused as to what I was on about, “I just don’t want us to communicate outside of the mandatory attendings, got it ? We’ll meet there and that’s it.”

Well, at least that explains the total ghosting, doesn’t make it any less humiliating though. My lips close in a tight line, “Message received then, glad to know you’ll still be there for the museum,” I slowly nod my head trying to process what I’ve just been told. I feel my throat tightening up a bit and decide to leave before embarrassing myself any further, never looking behind me at the curly haired boy. 

Standing in line in front of the museum’s ticket office with my two favorite boys feels like we’re high schoolers on a field trip. I still feel uneasy about this upcoming afternoon, even if the run-in we had was terrible, he still assured me he’ll be coming today. 

But now, I don’t even want him to be here, I’m done with the idea of making any efforts with him, I’ve been way too kind to him. I’ll just stay glued to Dani and Alex and spend a nice afternoon at the museum with them, it’ll be way more fun than if he ever was to be here. 

“Still no news from Linguini?” Alex asks, trying to make sense of this situation, probably feeling bad for me. I really was pitiful.

“It’s not like I have a way of having any.” I half-joke trying to keep face despite anxiety and sadness creeping their way into my heart;

I found myself gazing at a beautiful photograph of a peony field, my favorite flower. The exhibition was showcasing the origins and the beauty of perfumes around the world. It involved a path filled with elements used to make our favorite scents through the use of pictures and different aromas being diffused all around the museum. I had clinged on to my favorite boys for twenty minutes before the teacher noticed, “I don’t care if your partner isn’t here, it’s a pairing of two only.” So now I was wandering around the exhibition and taking in the great sights and scents on my own. 

“Hey,” I turned around to see Lando looking ahead standing next to me, his hair covered by a green cap matching the crew neck sitting on his shoulders and the color of his eyes. Last time I thought they were blue, but they’re not. They’re the most gorgeous shade of olive green I had ever seen. It bothered me that I noticed these kinds of small details about him, he was the last person to deserve it. “Sorry I’m late.”

I kept my focus on the piece in front of me, “Alright.”

“Alright.”

“These are my favorite, my grandma used to grow some in her garden,” I tell him without really knowing why.

“My grandma had roses, those are nice too,” he answers, I just nod in agreement. We both keep looking at the photograph in silence for another minute when his phone starts to ring. 

“Hey babe,” he quickly picks up, “yeah it’ll be quick I promise - no I don’t care I just have to do this, you know that.” Wow, way to ruin the last speck of hope I had. He hangs up as fast as he picked up.

“You know you could’ve just told me you had a girlfriend and didn’t want to talk to me for that reason, I mean, It’s a little extreme but I get it.” I know that some girlfriends are overprotective and the idea of their boyfriends spending time with another girl can be a nightmare.

“It's not about her,” he spits out, “I just don’t want to be here, I’ve got better things to do,” and with that final sentence he rubs the salt in a wound that’s already way too deep for what it’s worth. 

“You don’t have to be here though, nobody’s forcing you to” I remark, my voice filled with resentment. I’ve had enough. 

“I do, though. I’m only doing this to pass my semester, so let’s just wrap this up,” he starts going for the rest of the exhibition in hopes of finishing early. When he doesn’t feel me following him, he turns around and stops, staring me down with his hands in his back pockets, his shoulders slumped in frustration.

Slowly shaking my head, I stand my ground and head towards the next step in the exhibition in silence, disregarding the icy stare from the green boy across the room. I’m not letting him get away with it this time. I’ll enjoy the rest of the tour and make sure to take my time. Might as well enjoy my own company if that’s all I’m gonna have for the rest of the program.

Taglist : @u5dthsduttd

[fetusgooseandjuice]

My Princess

Pairings: Shuri Udaku x fem!reader

Summary: Shuri brought her girlfriend, Y/N, with her to a party she was invited to. But when a man can’t take Y/N’s ‘no’ for an answer, she results in using a hand signal to get Shuri’s attention.

Word Count: 4,021

Warnings: Sexual Assault & Attempted R*pe| Mentions of murder | Violence

REQUESTED

Your POV:

"After you, m'lady." Shuri said, opening the car door and holding her hand out for me to take.

"Why thank you. I feel oh so honored." I joked, playing along with her antics and getting in the car.

She chuckled, grabbing the seatbelt and reaching over to buckle it for me.

"Shuri, I think can buckle my own seatbelt." I shyly giggled.

"Well you are my princess, so I must treat you like one, right?" after clipping the seatbelt, she moved her head to kiss me.

"I love you." she whispered against my lips.

"I love you too." I murmured in response before she shut the car door, and walked over to the drivers side to get in.

"You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, darling. Have I told you that yet?" she looked at me with loving eyes as she plugged her phone into the aux to play my playlist she had saved.

She always played my favorite songs whenever I was in the car with her. I never asked her to, it was just one of the many ways she showed her love for me.

"Six time already. I've been counting, but I love it." I responded, gazing at her.

"Good, that means I'm doing something right." she smiled.

"You know you look stunning as well." I wanted to make sure she felt as confident in herself as she made me feel.

"I tried to match you as best as I could, so thank you baby." she leaned over to peck my lips before shifting the car out of park, and then resting her hand that wasn't on the steering wheel on my inner thigh.

Shuri was invited to a party, and of course she asked me to come with her. We would both prefer to have night in together where we could just lay in each others arms, but she thought it would be rude to turn down this offer. So she brought me along to make it a little more bearable.

After following the GPS to our destination, we pulled into the parking lot of the venue. I barely got to open my car door when she reached over and put her hand over mine on the handle to pull it shut.

"Absolutely not. What are you doing?" she quickly asked.

"Opening the door to get out?" I sounded confused.

"Stop it, when have I ever made you open your own doors? I'm gonna get it for you." she swiftly got out of the car and jogged over to my side, opening the door and giving me her hand to help me out.

"Was that really necessary?" I chuckled.

"Like I said earlier, you're my princess so I'm gonna treat you like one." she shrugged her shoulders with a smile, wrapping her arm around my waist to keep me close as we walked towards the building.

Entering the venue, we were met with light chatter and the smell of wine. We didn't get to walk inside very far before a man approached us, greeting my girlfriend.

"Shuri, you finally showed up! I was starting to think you were gonna ghost me." the man joked.

"I was thinking about it, but I could never be the mean, right?" she responded with a laugh.

"Eh, that's debatable. Who's this lovely lady you have here with you?" he asked, looking at me.

"This is my darling girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is my good friend, Ross." she introduced us.

"Ohhh, so you're the girl she never stops talking about. It's a pleasure to finally meet you,

Y/N." he kindly said, holding his hand out for me to shake.

"The pleasure is mutual, Ross. Shuri never stops talking about me?" I shook his hand with a smile, looking from him to my girlfriend.

"Yeah, I've heard so much about you that I feel like I've known you my whole life." he teased Shuri about how much she talks about me.

"Okay, okay. I don't need you giving her anything else to hold over my head for the rest of my life." Shuri jumped into the conversation.

"Alright, I'll stop...for now. Anyways, there's a few people over there that wanted to meet you earlier, but you weren't here. Do you wanna go talk to them now?" he gestured in the direction of the guests who wanted to talk to her.

"Maybe, just give me one second." she responded. Ross nodded his head before walking away.

Shuri turned to face me, "Are you okay with me going to talk to them for a few? You can come with, or if you don't want to I'll stay with you." she gently grabbed one of my hands and intertwined our fingers, bringing my hand up to place a kiss on it.

"You can go ahead. I'm probably just gonna get a drink from the bar, I'll be fine." you smiled up at her.

"Okay well if you change your mind, you can always come find me. Or call me, and i'll come find you." she stated, making sure I knew that she was here.

"I know, Shuri. Go ahead, I'll catch up with you later." I encouraged her.

She put a hand on my waist, the other on the side of my face to pull me closer so she could lean down and give me a few soft kisses. I cupped her cheeks, and it felt like the world around us completely disappeared.

But I knew that she wasn't going to pull away first, and knowing she didn't care about the fact that we were still in public, I pulled away first so it didn't go further than a few innocent kisses.

"Baby you already kept them waiting long enough by getting here this late." I quietly voiced, pulling away.

"Alright, I'm going. I love you." she gently said.

"I love you too." my voiced match the soft volume of hers. She pecked my lips one more time before walking off to go find Ross.

I watched her disappear into the crowd of people before I made my way to the bar. I approached the counter and waited for a bartender to become available.

"What can I get for you?" he asked after serving another guest.

"I'll have a white wine, please." I answered with a small smile. He nodded his head, pouring the drink into a wine glass and setting it down in front of me.

I thanked him before he went to tend to another person. I was about to take a sip of my drink when a voice caused me to pause.

"Well hello there, beautiful." I turned my head to see who was speaking to me.

I was met by a man who was much taller and bigger than me. He was staring down at me with a grin that I just found creepy.

I looked back down at my drink, muttering a small ‘Hi’ so that I didn't seem rude.

"Do you mind if I buy you another drink?" he offered.

"Oh, no thanks. This is probably the only one I'm gonna have tonight." I kindly turned down his gesture.

"Really? Not even just one? You know, we could get to know each other better." he put his hand on my arm, trying to reason with me.

"No really, I'm okay." I said, taking his hand off of me, trying to make it known that I wasn't interested.

"Well then what's a sexy little thing like you doing here all alone?" he questioned.

"I'm actually not here alone. My girlfriend just went to talk to some friends real quick." I replied, taking a sip from my glass.

"And she left you here all by yourself? Now that's just not right, is it?" he made another attempt at touching me, and put his hand on the small of my back.

I tensed up at this contact, feeling very uncomfortable. I didn't really know what to say and he could tell, so he made his intentions crystal clear.

"What do you say I take you home with me? Show you how a precious girl like you should really be treated." his hand started moving lower down my back.

I quickly recoiled away from his touch, starting to search the crowd for Shuri to try and get her attention. I knew how protective she was over me, so I knew there was a good chance that she had me in her line of sight. She always did in order to make sure I was okay.

Thinking about this, I thought that if I did one of our hand signals, then she would hopefully notice and come to help me. It was Shuri's idea to establish discreet ways for us communicate in public without using actual words just in case verbal communication was out of the picture.

I crossed my index and middle finger, then tapped them on the counter three times. This was our gesture for 'help'. I thought that if I continued tapping them three times, then she would eventually see it.

While doing this, I tried to talk myself out of the situation, "Please just stop. I already said I'm here with someone, I'm not interested."

He ignored my pleas for him to stop and continued moving his hand down my back, coming in contact with my butt.

Shuri still hadn't given me any sign that she saw me, so I just took it upon myself to try and push him away.

But since this man is more than twice my size, pushing at his arms barley affected him. In return, he grabbed me by my waist and pushed me against the counter, pressing his body against mine so I could hardly move.

"Maybe you'll be a little more interested after I show you what a good time really feels like." he harshly whispered into my ear, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to a more secluded part of the venue.

I fought the grip he had on me with everything I had, trying to pull back, but he was dragging me like I barely put up a fight. We eventually got to a spot that was completely empty, the only source of light being the lights that were hung in the main part of the building.

He roughly shoved me against the wall, starting to kiss my neck. I could feel the roughness of his beard against my skin while he groped my hips, my breasts, then moved down to my ass.

I was writhing as much as I could, trying to get away, "Please, please stop." I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Shut up, and just enjoy it." he growled, moving my dress up my thighs, his hand starting to slip under it.

My body was beginning to get tired as my attempts to squirm out of his grasp were useless. I was about to just give up until he was aggressively pulled off of me. I took this opportunity to pull my dress back down, covering my upper thighs again.

I heard the sounds of him being thrown against a wall, and punches being landed followed by his yelps of pain. But I could hardly see it through the tears in my eyes. I only wiped them away when I recognized my girlfriends voice.

~~~

Shuri's POV:

"It's so nice to finally meet the queen of Wakanda. We really admire what you've done." a kind woman said to me.

"Thank you. I try my best, but it's not always easy." I smiled at them.

"You make it seem like you've done it your whole life. The technology you create, and the way you handle everything. It's just amazing." a different man said to me.

"Yeah well, I'd have to thank my girlfriend for a lot of that. She's so supportive, and most of the technology we make are her designs." I replied.

There were a few people that Ross introduce me to who wanted to meet me. They were really nice, but the overwhelming amount of compliments were beginning to become too much.

It tried to be kind and stay engaged in conversation, but my attention was shifting from time to time so I could check on Y/N. She was all the way across the building, but I still made sure that I had a clear view of her.

Everything was okay until I saw a man approach her. To me it seemed like it was just a friendly conversation until I saw him begin to touch her. She moved away from him, so It didn't seem like I needed to step in just yet because she was handling it.

"Is everything alright?" Ross brought me out of my thoughts when he saw that I was focused on something else.

I shifted my eyes to look back at them, "Hm? Yeah everything's fine. Continue what you were saying." I nodded my head. But when I looked back at her, she had her fingers crossed and they were tapping on the counter in front of her.

I knew that was the motion that meant 'help' because I came up with it. So at that point, I knew everything was indeed not fine.

I made up a quick excuse to exit the conversation I was in, "I'm sorry, could you excuse me for just a moment. I'd like to use the restroom, and then get a drink."

They nodded their heads in understanding before I started to make my way through the large crowd as quick as I could to reach Y/N. But it seemed like every few seconds I was either bumping into somebody, or being stopped by someone who wanted to talk to me.

I turned down every person who approached me, my mind set on reaching Y/N. But I ran into someone just as I saw the man grab her wrist and drag her away from the bar. I tried to follow them, but I lost sight of them in the crowd.

I started to practically run in the direction I thought they went. Stopping when I heard my girlfriends voice, I could hear her quiet pleas loud and clear. My blood boiled when I heard them, turning down the small corridor her voice came from.

I saw the same man who was talking to her at the bar pressing her against the wall. He was kissing her neck, his hands being anything but gentle on her body as they slipped under her dress. My heart broke at the sound of her cries.

So when I saw this I didn’t hesitated one bit to rush over to them. I grabbed the man by his shoulder and pulled him off of Y/N. Pushing him back into the wall, I punched him across the face with all the strength I had.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and shoved him further into the wall, "What. The fuck. Is wrong. With you." I punctuated each word with a blow to his head.

"I swear to god I should kill you for touching her like that. I should kill you for touching her period. For even looking at her the way you did." I had to hold him up against the wall because he lost his bearings.

"I heard her say 'stop' loud and clear from down the hallway. Do you not know what 'no' means?" I asked him with anger present in my voice.

When I got no answer from him, that just aggravated me even more. I punched him once again and I could tell it broke his nose, but I couldn't care less considering what he just did to my girl.

"No means fucking no. I saw her trying to be as nice as possible when turning you down over at the bar. But since you're so insecure that you can't seem to handle rejection, you have to deal with me now, and you can already tell I'm not going to be anywhere near as nice as she was." I said sternly, looking him directly in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, please-" he tried to say, but I cut him off with a scoff.

"Please? Ten seconds ago you had my girlfriend pinned against the wall while you fucking groped her and she asked you to 'please stop'. Now what? You expect me to show you mercy or something?" I questioned, furious.

When he nodded his head, my blood boiled over and the punch that connected with his face caused him to fall unconscious. I let go of his shirt, allowing him to fall to the ground. I was breathing heavily out of anger until I heard the quiet whimpers of my beloved.

I turned around and saw her trying to cover herself. Even though she still had on the same dress she wore when we got here, I knew she felt too exposed. Seeing the tears on her face shattered my heart, and the pure frustration I once felt disintegrated as I hurried over to her.

Pulling her into a tight hug, she started to sob against my chest. Her hands were clinging onto the back of my shirt as if I would evaporate into thin air if she let go.

I tilted my head down to kiss the top of hers, "You're okay now, baby, I've you got. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." I cooed.

Her broken up cries continued, and a few of my own tears rolled down my cheeks seeing how scared she was, "I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner." I whispered.

I let her cry into my shirt for as long as she needed. When she started to calm down, she lifted her head to look up at me.

"Thank you." she murmured.

I shook my head, "No, darling. Don't thank me. I promised that I'd always protect you."

A few seconds of silence passed before she spoke up again, "I tried to get him off. I-I said no and everything but-"

I stopped her, "Shhh. I know darling, I know you did. I won't let that happen to you ever again." I placed a kiss on her forehead.

Seeing how shake up and distraught she was I thought it would be best to get her to the comfort of our home, "Come on, my love. Let's just get you home now, okay?"

She nodded her head and pulled away from my arms. Before making our way to the exit, I took off my suit jacket and placed it over her shoulders to make her feel more comfortable.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and guided her through the crowd, once again turning down every persons attempt to talk to me. Once we got outside, the wind of the cold night caused both is us to shiver. I just pulled her closer to me hoping that it'd help her a little while we walked to the car.

She reached to open the passenger door, but I stopped her, "Now we had this conversation earlier, didn't we?" I raised a playful eyebrow at her and she giggled.

My heart swelled seeing her gorgeous smile and hearing her cute laugh. I opened the door for her and offered her my hand. When she got in, I grabbed the seatbelt and reached over to buckle it for her."

"Shuri," she whined.

I chuckled, "You are my princess, and princesses get treated as such." After I clipped it, I moved to kiss her nose and then shut the door.

I walked over to the drivers side and got into the car, “Music or no music?” I questioned, looking over at her.

“Music, but can you turn the volume down low?” she asked me.

“Anything for you, baby.” I responded with a small smile, plugging my phone into the aux and playing the playlist she made.

I would normally put a hand on her thigh to comfort her whenever I drove. I debated on doing that this time, not wanting to upset her.

We sat in comfortable silence for most of the ride, only talking when she quietly asked, “Can I hold your hand?”

I smiled to myself, taking a hand off the steering wheel to intertwine my fingers with hers, “I love you, angel.” I said.

“I love you too, Shuri.” she replied back.

When we arrived home, I put the car in park and started to get out of the car when I noticed zero movement from her. I turned my head to look at her, and my gaze softened when I saw her fast asleep.

I got out the car, closing the door as softly as possible before walking over to her side. Opening the door, I took my suit jacket from around her to put it on so that I could put her hand bag in the inner pocket.

My hands were now free to gently pick her up, holding her from under her thighs and her back. I closed the door with my foot before making my way inside. She woke up when I started to climb up the stairs, lifting her head up before letting it fall back onto my shoulder.

“Shuri?” she tiredly mumbled.

“Shhh, I’ve got you. You can go back to sleep until I wake you up to change into pajamas, m’kay?” I coaxed her back to sleep.

She murmured a few incoherent words before falling back asleep. When I reached our room, I pushed the door open with my foot and gently laid her on our bed. I didn’t want to disturb her by turning on any lights, so I navigated the room in the dark.

I picked out pajama’s for her and put them off to the side while I changed into my own comfortable clothes. When I was done, I grabbed some makeup wipes from the bathroom and then made my way back over to the bed.

“Y/N,” I whispered, stroking her cheek to slowly wake her up. She hummed, not wanting to open her eyes.

“Come on, baby. We’ve gotta get you out of this dress and into these comfy clothes.” I quietly told her.

She just hummed again in agreement and I chuckled. After moving to the foot of the bed I undid the straps of her heels and slipped them off her feet, setting them on the ground.

I moved back up to put my hand on her shoulder, shaking it to get her attention.

“Can I help you change, my love?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she finally shook off enough sleep to reply to me.

“Alright, could you sit up for me, darling?” she sat up straight with my assistance.

I slowly started to move the straps of her dress off her shoulders, giving her time to protest. When she didn’t, I helped her out of her clothes and pulled my shirt over her head. Then helping to pull her pajama shorts up her legs.

I threw the clothes into the laundry basket and grabbed the makeup wipes. I sat propped up against the headboard, guiding her to lay her head on my lap.

Starting to remove the makeup on her face, I admired how beautiful she looked like this. The moonlight shining through the window only partially lighting up her face, but she was still breathtaking.

When I was done, I tossed the wipes into the trash can beside the bed. Getting under the covers, I didn’t even have to pull her into my arms because she automatically moved to lay her head in the crook of my neck, her hand resting on my chest while she let herself fall back into a deep sleep.

I wrapped my arms around her in a protective manner and kissed her forehead, “I love you so much, my princess. Get some sleep.” I whispered, not sure if she heard me or not before she fell asleep.

In that moment, I made a silent promise to her that I was going to protect her with everything I had. No matter what it took.

[oneofthecacti]

S2 Thoughts: Izzy and Lucius

(Spoilers below the cut)

So I could definitely be wrong about this, but I’m putting it out here anyway:

I have this little itch in my brain that’s telling me Lucius and Izzy will have some sort of significant (positive) development in their relationship throughout the rest of s2. Could be platonic or romantic (I’d be happy with either), but I think it’s already been catalyzed through Lucius’ not-so-secret resentment towards Stede/Stede’s incompetence, and Lucius’ difficulty connecting with Pete post-reunion (due to Lucius’ acquired trauma post-shove + Pete’s aversion to what Lucius tried to recant of said traumatic events). I love both Pete and Lucius, and their relationship during s1, but the vibes I was getting from their interactions after their initial reunion felt off-kilter (could they be the couple that parts amicably? I didn’t miss the lukewarm reunion/interactions between Jim and Olu, but Jenkins is a crafty mf, so… Also to be clear, I am 100% in favor of healthy polyam relationships, so shhhhhhush).

Now that The Revenge Crew (including Ed, but minus The Swede) are all back together, Lucius is going to be looking for that sense of security he’d found on The Red Flag and under the command of Zheng Yi Sao. From Lucius’ perspective as of s2e3, Stede doesn’t currently spark confidence (and may not even after Izzy whips him into shape), Ed is a definite “hell no” for obvious reasons, and both have either failed him or outright tried to murder him. So who is left, really?

Izzy.

From what we’ve seen in s2e1-3, Izzy displays profound competence that results from his decades of pirating, as well as his genuine concern + care for the crew under his charge (and their care for him in return) + the ability to keep his head/make logical decisions under extreme emotional AND physical duress (s2e2 will be forever burned into my brain /pos). We even see that while he and the remainder of “Blackbeard’s” Crew are being held on The Red Flag, Fang, (especially) Frenchie, Jim, and Archie all seem to be (subtly) deferring to Izzy as if he were acting captain (even if not in title and despite how at least 2/4 mutinied against him in s1). While Stede (and later, Ed, as co-captain (maybe)) will likely resume command of The Revenge and her crew there is no denying that Izzy has earned the trust, respect, and care of those he had been sailing with during the time-skip. He’s an old salt—has seen a lot and been through A LOT—and it definitely shows now more than ever (despite sucking at being a captain in s1) that he can and will keep them alive if he has any say in it. I feel that Lucius will inevitably be drawn to Izzy for that reason, and then (through plot shenanigans and tears) go on to develop a healthy relationship (don’t ask me for details my brain hurts).

Anyway, what did y’all think of S2? because so far I’ve eaten three of my toes and am even more besotted with Izzy and Con O’Neill than I was yesterday (like that’s even possible)

10/26 me @ today me:

[unvolver]

Hello tis I, returned from the land of the dead. I'm here for "service top john and power bottom paul."

I think you've hit on an important part of their dynamic here and it's one I try to reflect in my own McL fanfics. An interesting through-line in John's relationships is that he would start out aggressive but then become more at-ease around the other person and thus let his guard down more, which meant the other person started driving the relationship. He did this with Stuart, he was a bit of bully towards Stu but their friends/art school classmates remember Stuart bucking John up during art classes, teaching him to play with mediums (like throwing colored sand at canvases instead of trying to produce realistic paintings). John visibly relaxed around Stu and became close to him. There's many interesting parallels with Paul, because John's type is clearly dark haired slender artistic weirdos (Stu::Paul::Yoko). John initially starts out aggressive with them only to be intrigued by them and then dive into Their Relationship as his defining characteristic. Occasionally he'll reassert himself against them in some form of bullying to keep his ego strong (he did this with all 3 of them.) Stu's life was tragically cut short so we didn't get to see the next step but with Paul and Yoko, John eventually gave up his schedule and personal desires to be managed by them. Sgt Pepper::the Dakota Days. What's interesting about Stuart is that Stu eventually left John for Astrid so John didn't have room to get into this dynamic with him. Resulted in John leaving Hamburg in disgrace after Paul Pete & George were deported. John was left to his own devices and then decided to go forward with the Beatles, probably one of the few independent decisions he made under his own power.

Anyway this plays into the service top thing because John's belief appears to be that he's only as good as the person he's serving. There's almost a court dynamic to it, or at least the overly romantic interpretation of it that was common in the 19th century, you can see this reflected in its apex, "Ivanhoe" which was still widely read and appreciated in the 1950s. It's not on reading lists anymore but Bob Dylan read it growing up and I feel confident John did too.

I feel like the "service" thing is something John did, not just in sex, but in all of his romantic relationships. John was very self aware of his flaws and how reprehensible many of his actions were. I believe that John threw himself into these "service" roles in order to redeem himself in some way and because he elevated his partners above himself. This even applies to Cynthia; John had to beg her to take him back after he slammed her head into a wall and after that he let her drive the relationship. In her book "John" Cynthia confirmed something I suspected in that her later years with John were sexless. Combining this with Cyn rejecting hiring a nanny to look after Julian and her later remark that John found her "too mumsy" to get in bed with, I wonder now if Cynthia was like a lot of mothers in that she didn't really care for sex when she had a child to look after. John let this dynamic happen. Yeah he did have a lot of partners on tap but he could have asked more from her but didn't. He let her dictate the circumstances of their home life. Yoko similarly rejected John's advances late in their marriage and one account says that she regularly barricaded herself in her office to stay away from him, instead sending him to Chinatown for happy ending massages with women who didn't speak English and didn't recognize him. John also let Yoko do it.

There's a lot of "submission" there but John himself was not that much of a submissive person, no matter what he babbled about being "soft velvet." The qualities that matter are the ones that consistently rise to the top and John was consistently someone who took control of situations and was a natural leader who directed the flow of action and ideas.

So to me that indicates John's "service top" role is much less about a desire to be directed and much more about his personal redemption and John's ideas about what love means. John put his lovers above him because he liked venerating people. It's a very religious pose influenced by Christian ideas of hierarchy. John's mental image of Paul in particular held a lot of power over John. He seemed to have built Paul up into a quasi-religious personage in his own head. "I've seen religion from Peter to Paul" etc. It seems to me that a service top John is not necessarily looking for validation (tho I think there's that too, who doesn't want to receive a pat on the head from God?) but is performing an act of worship towards a higher being.

John often seems convinced that Paul is a lot more powerful than Paul actually is. If he's topping Paul then it's because Paul has directed him to do it, not just as a slutty power bottom, but because he is allowing John to venerate him in some way. Thus John's time with Paul was creatively and sexually fulfilling, in a dynamic John felt comfortable with that still allowed him to exercise his qualities as a leader and director during daytime activities.

In contrast Yoko deliberately stymied John's creative flow. Often fought with him in the studio and over camerawork, insulted him constantly and held him at bay by dangling sex in front of him as a carrot when according to Dakota memoirs she hated PIV and only had sex with John when she was trying for another baby.

Paul was many things to John but he didn't hold himself back creatively and I am one of those people who believes he did not hold himself back sexually either. I think John had a lot of sexual access to Paul and that this is one of the reasons why they lasted as long as they did. Defining himself by his relationship with Paul was John's road to redemption in his mind and luckily for him Paul loves being worshipped.

hello nonnie! you have given me a lot of fodder to work with here:

thank you complimenting my work and how i depict lenmac again, i think people either overplay or downplay john dominance or agression. it’s not black or white with him, he’s a multifaceted individual. i agree 100% with the idea of john being more aggressive at the start of his relationships and only allowing the other “control” as he became closer to them.

also the religious element to it! i was not raised christian and my only exposure were my classmates growing up as a buddhist. i’ve always been intrigued by (christian) religious symbolism and imagery. john’s idol worship of paul and their codependency really does give off that vibe, and the aforementioned court dynamic.

again, the parallels between their sexual relationship and songwriting partnership. maybe not parallels but directly intertwined. not much to say other than i agree here.

more thoughts in my answer to the paul ask!