#and are the only two people on earth who truly understand each other
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ultravi0lence14 · 2 days ago
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Butterfly
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sam winchester x angel!reader
1k | fluff, fem pronouns
summary: you and sam were complete opposites of each other, and sam had no idea how a gorgeous, pure girl like you could even chose him in the first place.
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sam sometimes just stared at you when you weren’t looking, wondering how he got so lucky in finding a girl like you.
you were so sweet, someone sam thought his wretched soul wasn’t worthy of. he’s got demon blood running through his veins, the vessel of lucifer himself. why would you — an angel as pure as snow — even remotely look his way.
that was the funny thing with you angels though. you guys always saw the best in people.
before you touched down from heaven, you had learned the copious stories of the winchester brothers lives. how their mother died, springing them into the hunting life. their tragic upbringing, and how their father raised them poorly. but most importantly, you learned about the youngest.
sam winchester. the boy with demon blood. every angel you spoke to said he was an abomination, but you thought differently.
this wasn’t sam’s fault. he was a defenceless baby, having this curse brought forth onto him by his mother’s actions long before his conception. sam was a victim, a child forced into this life with no say whatsoever; and you felt like the only angel who truly saw it like that.
when you had made it to earth, cordially meeting both sam and dean for the first time, you wondered why your brother’s and sister’s talked so poorly about the man.
he truly was a friendly giant. too sweet for his own good. he cared. about people he didn’t know, his brother especially, and all the strangers he came across on hunts with dean.
watching him console a victim for the first time tugged on your heart strings. he was so kind, so thoughtful and unlike anything said about him up in heaven. it was at that moment you felt your first human emotion. a surge of fondness rushing up your body like bile coming up your throat.
for a fleeting moment, you experienced what human love was truly like.
as time moved forward, you and sam got closer and closer. more often than not, you decided to stay back and research with him instead of going out with dean and cas. you talked with him, learning about his childhood from his mouth and truly understanding the full truth and severity of his life growing up.
the day that he kissed you for the first time was magical, better than the feeling of all angel grace combined. he was nervous, hands shaking as the cupped your face and shyly asking if this is what you wanted.
of course you wanted it. you wanted sam winchester since the moment you saw him, and now you were finally getting what you hoped for.
just as you believed, sam truly was the perfect boyfriend. he was caring and considerate, always willing to drop anything and everything to make sure you were okay. though he was also tough and protective, turning full hunter mode whenever someone bothered you or made you uncomfortable.
one thing you loved was how he spoke to you. he held you at the highest point in his mind, addressing you with the upmost love and respect that he could muster.
because that is how he really saw you. sam in his heart believed that you were possibly the most gorgeous being he’d ever laid his eyes on. you were truly the apple of his eye, and he wouldn’t dream of letting someone as perfect as you go.
he even called you his butterfly. a gorgeous creation of God that flys around and somehow always lands somewhere on him. which was true, because you were a very clingy person.
you two were always holding hands, arms linked, or sam’s arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder. dean had to stop himself from hurling 24/7, and you had to stop yourself from getting cartoonish hearts in your eyes whenever you looked at him.
the peace and serenity that you brought to sam’s life was all he could ever ask for. when you decided to take up drawing and painting, he cherished the times you two would find an empty space, setting down a picnic blanket and drawing whatever your heart desired surrounded by nature.
when he joined you for the first time, and you handed him over a intricately detailed drawing of him sitting down at that very moment, eyes opened and staring woefully at the large trees and flowers surrounding him, he couldn’t help but let a couple tears fall.
“oh no,” you had exclaimed, sitting up on your knees so you could get nearer to him. “you don’t like it, do you?”
he instantly snapped his head towards you, watching as tears filled your bright coloured eyes. his heart shattered staring into your glassy irises, and he cursed himself for ever making you feel like that.
shaking his head and putting down your sketchbook so he could cup your face, sam pulled you over to him so you were delicately perched in his lap. eye’s boring into his as he delicately stroked your cheek.
“i love it butterfly. that is the prettiest drawing i have ever seen. even prettier cause it was made by you.” his cheesy words made you blush, not caring in the slightest how silly you two probably looked to on lookers. with your finger reaching out to trace the slope of his nose, you looked at him with a soft smile on your face, pouring your heart into one look. “you mean that?”
“of course i do.” his eyes held that glossy puppy dog look you loved so dearly, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. “i am not trying to sound cheesy when i say this, but you truly are the best thing that ever happened to me, butterfly. you’re the one of the only one’s who believed in me.”
his words brought a gleeful smile on your face. and as the midday sun trickled across his, you thanked your father for whatever he did to make you and sam come together.
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Anyone else notice the similarities between Hannibal and The Hitcher?
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radlymona · 6 months ago
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No one will ever understand the Criston/Alicent/Rhaeynra/Daemon love square like I do
#hotd#asoiaf#I think a big problem is that so many people lack the background understanding of what the targaryens truly are#and how Targaryen exceptionalism informs their worldwives#and how that then affects their perception of their non-targaryens friends and loved ones#when analysing rhaenyra/alicent you need to understand that alicent was sexually attracted but also envied/wanted to be rhaenyra#because of her freedom power charisma charm etc#but rhaenyra's girlhood affection of alicent died with her marriage to her father#because that was an unforgivable sin in her eyes#when analsysing rhaenyra/criston you need to do so with the view that rhaenyra was acting like a prince who had taken a fancy#to a lowborn girl who's dreams of a romantic life with a dashing prince are cruelly thwarted when he chooses the crown over her#and the idea of shattered chilvraous/romantic ideals that the kingsguard characters often play with in asoiaf#when analysing Alicent/criston you need to understand how their second class status to rhaenyra and their failed relationships with her#led to them fill empty shameful and lesser in her absence#and that the two gravitate towards the targaryens ideological opposites (the faith of the seven)#and in turn look to each other to fill her void#when analysing daemon/rhaenyra you have to understand that rhaenyra is sexually attracted to daemon but also desperately wants to be him#she is the Alicent in this situation#for daemon rhaenyra is an ends to the throne but is also the only other person on earth that he feels is near is equal#because they’re drawn together by Targaryen exceptionalism
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fangirl-dot-com · 9 months ago
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Across Every Universe - Part 2
Well, I didn't expect this work to get this long. It was only supposed to be short but then I worked on it all day and for multiple hours on end?? I guess I just enjoy this concept so much! These are basically the stories I wanted to put in last time, but they needed their own chapter to truly shine.
I know people asked for Arthur and reader romance, but To Do Is To Dare has always been a racing fic first and romance second. I tried to add in all the people I could without going crazy with the plot line or it would have gotten out of hand (or more than it already is). There is a lot of Max and Charles (my two favorite boys on the grid).
If anyone has anything against Lestappen - there's the door :)
Please enjoy :)
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“Please stand for his Majesty King Max Emilian Verstappen, King of the Netherlands and Prince of Orange.” 
Max always hated these announcements. Like, why did they have to always say his middle name and all the titles that came with it? He put on a gentle smile and waved to the crowds around him. Thankfully, his dressers had decided to forgo the kingly robes and opted for a nice suit with his pins. Definitely fitting for the Dutch Grand Prix. 
This would be his ninth to attend since taking the throne at 18-years-old after his father passed away. The kind always enjoyed seeing the Orange Army at the home race. 
After greeting everyone, he was led to the special box. Apparently, more than one royal had decided to attend as well. Max’s shoulders loosened when his eyes landed on a familiar figure. 
“Charles!”
Charles Marc Herve Perceval Leclerc, The Sovereign Prince of the Principality of Monaco. Max was always glad that his mother only chose one middle name for him instead of three. 
The prince’s green eyes widened at the sight of the Dutchman. He waved off whoever he was speaking to and all but glided across the room. The two forwent the formalities and brought each other into a hug. 
Max leaned back a bit to look the Monegasque in the eye. 
“What are you doing here? Monaco not enough for you?” 
There was a playful glint in his eyes as Charles rolled his. The brunet gestured to a plush couch in the corner, one that Max was excited to sit in. 
Charles began to speak, a small smile on his face, “Well as you know, my brother is currently dating one of the drivers on the grid. And it is her home race so Arthur wanted to come watch.” 
Max nodded, understanding perfectly. He knew exactly who Charles was talking about.
Y/n L/n, the only female driver, who currently was working on her fourth World Champion.
“And where is your brother now?” 
“He’s in the garage,” Charles rolled his eyes. He had wanted to go, but an ambassador had insisted that he needed to talk to the prince. 
“Why don’t we head there. I always want to say hello to my race winner.” 
Now, Max and Y/n had a very loving sibling relationship. The king had watched her grow up karting and made sure to sponsor her and support her through her career. Without his support, the girl would not have been able to continue. Yet, when you put the royal Dutch crest on your Formula 3 car, someone has to know that it means something. 
This would be her 4th season in Red Bull, having been 19 when she joined in 2019. She was only 20 when she won her first World Championship, breaking the record for the youngest ever to dominate the sport. 
Now she was 24 and is on a path to win her fourth in only five races if she keeps up the winning streak. Max was only older by 3 years, yet he watched over her like a very protective older brother. 
He and Charles had made their way down to the pitlane, much to their advisors’ chagrin. They passed by the Mercedes garage to say hello to King Lewis Hamilton III and then George Russell, Duke of Sussex. The two Brits had been friends or well, colleagues, with the other two reigning monarchs for quite some time. They were currently backing Kimi Antonelli and Mick Schumacher, the current driver line up for Mercedes.
Right next to the silver garage stood a very orange and bright one. Max was excited to see Lando Norris, Duke of York also in attendance. He was very close with the two Aussie drivers, Oscar Piastri and Daniel Ricciardo. 
Down the line was Williams, who was attending to a very eager Logan Sargeant, the President of the United States’ kid. Max was fond of the blond and often said hello to him whenever he got the chance in diplomatic settings. 
But finally, they were able to reach the big navy garage. Max could definitely pick up Arthur’s almost French accent everywhere. But, his ears were tuned to the sound of your Dutch accent that was similar to his. 
“Geitje!” he called out, finding your blond hair against the navy racing suit. 
You looked over your shoulder, pausing the conversation with your boyfriend. You rolled your eyes when you saw Max in his kingly splendor. You took a few steps toward the fellow Dutch and gave him a hug. 
“I told you to quit calling me that. I’m not a kid anymore, or was never a goat for that matter.” 
Charles took this moment to catch up with his brother. 
Max looked down at you fondly. “You’ll always be that small kid whose suit was two sizes too big on her.” 
You honestly wanted to cry, but you kept the tears in. There was a race that you needed to win. 
“Are you going to give me my trophy this year?” 
“Don’t I every year?” 
You looked up in mock thought. “Well, there was that one year that you had appendicitis and your mom gave me my trophy.” 
Max lightly nudged you. “That was one year, let it go.” 
You grumbled. “Well I hope that someone won’t break my trophy this year.” 
Your teammate, Ollie Bearman, popped his head up from where he was looking at his tyres. 
“It was one year Y/n! One year!” 
You giggled at the disgruntled yells from the British Driver. Ollie had been one of your favorite teammates. 
Your first year, you were paired with the golden boy himself, Sebastian Vettel, before he retired with one last championship. And then your first year as world champion, you were paired with Oscar Piastri before he left for McLaren. Ollie had been your teammate for the past two years, but you had a feeling that he’d stick around for more than a year. 
You got the heads up that the race would be starting soon. You turned back to Max. 
“Are you staying here or do you have to go?” 
Max had a mischievous glint in his eyes and was about to reply before being interrupted. 
“Actually, their royal highnesses need to return to the royal box.” 
Max fought the urge to roll his eyes. You only laughed and pushed him in the direction of the exit. 
“Go, I’ll see you at the top.” 
“Blijf veilig, alsjeblieft,” Max softly pleaded. 
He really hated that you put your life on the line every weekend for the job that you loved. He remembers the first time you had a terrifying crash when you were unconscious until they got you to the hospital. He was told that you probably wouldn’t wake up. However, you defied the odds and were back in the seat for the next race. 
You responded, just as gentle, “Voor jou, mijn koning, altijd.” 
When Max left, he turned around one last time and witnessed you giving Arthur a quick kiss before he put your helmet on. It was something that the two of you had been doing since you started dating almost two years ago. 
The Dutch king was back to walking with Charles to the box. 
“So, when is he proposing.” 
He hadn’t expected an answer, but was surprised when he got one. 
Charles gave Max a look. “They’re actually going to a restaurant, and he plans to propose tonight.” 
Max’s eyes widened at the confession. But, he got over it quickly before gently smiling. You deserved happiness, and you found that in his closest friend’s brother. 
“So will she have to stop racing for royal duties?” the blond questioned. 
Charles shook his head. “Non. Arthur will step down.” 
Max clapped him on the back. “Guess you and Alexandra need to start with some heirs huh?” 
Charles squinted up at him. “Says the man who currently needs to propose as well.” 
The prince got the last laugh as he left Max stuttering for a comeback. 
You won the race like Max knew you would. The king watched as you held your head up high as the Dutch National Anthem played loudly through the crowds. He saw the crowds of orange, the only ones rivaling the red Tifosi at Monza. 
The crowds were shouting, “De Langverwachte! Onze kleine leeuw!” 
The Long Awaited. 
Their Little Lion. 
Max had always wished for a champion from his home country. Something to ode back to the sport he loved as a kid. His wish came true in the form of you. People talked as the king publicly backed the only female driver on the grid. But he knew that you were something special. He was there as you took the championship from Vettel in the last lap of the 2020 season fair and square. Obviously he was thankful that there was no safety car to ruin your race of any kind. You had coped brilliantly against your older teammate and your talent truly showed.
Max was given the signal to head out with the hand painted trophy. He was honestly kind of scared to drop it. But he made it across the stage and handed it out to you.
You proudly took the trophy from Max after you bowed in respect. He may have been your friend, but he was your king first. 
The ceramic trophy was held high once it was safely in your hands. Jokingly you hugged it tight as you gently stepped down off the podium. Ollie gawked at your childishness before spraying you with the champagne. 
With trophy set down a nice ways away, you took your own bottle. Except, instead of spraying Ollie, you pointed it at Max, whose jaw was on the floor as you came after him with the liquid. 
If you were having fun now, you wouldn’t expect what was coming later that night. 
And you said yes. 
Earth 12399
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“Zusje!”
Your eyes widened at the familiar squeaky and young voice. You turned your whole body away from your race engineer to only be taken down in the knees. Once you were on the floor, you laps was immediately filled with a small body that had bleach blond hair and bright blue eyes. 
“Maxy, Ik heb je gemist Kleintje!” 
“Uh Y/n, is everything good?” Charles’s voice sounded from above. You stared back at your teammate in the red overalls. You grabbed under the child’s arms and hoisted him up along with yourself. 
“Yep! Charles meet Max. Max meet Charlie.” 
Max’s small eyes widened before he tucked himself in your neck. Your hand came up and rubbed his back as you cooed. You turned back to Charles. 
“He’s a bit shy in front of his favorite driver.” 
You poked Max’s side and his giggles filled the room. The small one turned his head and peered at the Monegasque whose eyes were wide, looking at the child in his teammate’s arms. 
“Didn’t know you had a kid.” 
Your jaw dropped at his statement. 
“He’s not my kid, idiot. He’s my brother,” you hissed, lightly bouncing Max up and down as you swayed side to side. 
“Oooohhhh.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah oh. I’m younger than you.” 
“One night stand?” 
“Charles!”
The brunet laughed loudly, making Max giggle a bit with him. You looked down into his blue eyes. 
“Oh so you think that’s funny hm? I’m getting bullied.” 
Max only giggled more before pointing at Charles. 
“Rari?” 
You lovingly stared at him in your arms. “Yep, Rari.” You saw how Charles was staring at Max. “You want to hold him?” 
Charles dropped everything (only his water bottle) and reached out to take Max. Once he was in Charles’s arms, Max immediately rested his head on his shoulder and gripped the red suit. You smiled fondly at the two. 
“He’s so small,” Charles whispered after seeing the kid’s eyes close in slumber. 
You ruffled the spiky blond hair. “Yeah, he’s only 3 though. Full of wonder.” 
“Y/n!” 
Ah, there was your mother. You looked over and saw Sophie walking with your other sister Victoria. Thankfully, your dad was nowhere to be found. After you found out what he had done to Max, you put in a restraining order against him immediately. 
It was a hard discussion with your mom when you told her that she needed to divorce him. Tears were shed and hearts were broken. But, you never wanted to see another bruise on your younger brother again. 
It was fine if he did that to you. But to Max? 
Jos wouldn’t stand a chance against your anger. He had shaped you to be like him. 
A racer. A winner. The best. 
But being the best wasn’t supposed to be the most important anymore. And if he wanted you to be like him, then he’ll get his own anger thrown back into his face. You remembered how your fist met his eye after you found Max alone with him one night. An ugly purple thing covered Max’s tiny wrist and there was a scratch on his face. 
You had just returned home from a triple header and wanted to surprise your family. Only, you came home to Max’s screams of terror and Jos Verstappen yelling. You didn’t think, you just did. Sophie and Victoria returned home to multiple police cars and an ambulance in front of the house. When they finally were told what happened, they found you covering Max’s body with your arms as you spoke to one of the paramedics. A blanket was draped around your shoulders and a bruise was forming on your face as well. 
After that, you moved your entire family to Monaco with you. Your house was plenty bit and you only shared it with Charles whenever he came over to play FIFA. But now, whenever he wanted to play, you insisted on going to his house. 
It might have been to protect your family. Or it might have had to do with a certain handsome brother that Charles had. 
Definitely the first one.   
Hence why Charles had never met Max beforehand. But that also didn’t stop the little gremlin from choosing Charles as his favorite driver and not his sister. 
It’s not like you were bitter or anything. 
You walked toward your family and gave the two women a hug. 
“I’m glad that you could come today!” you told them, truly happy at their arrival. It wasn’t like it was a big race. You had already won the championship last week, which sadly they weren’t able to make it. But Max was still up past his bedtime when you got home after. The kid sleepily muttered that he was glad you won, even though you had beaten Charles. Yet, you reminded him that Charles had won the year before and it was sissy’s turn. 
Sophie looked at Max in Charles’s arms. “He’s so comfortable. I honestly thought he’d be scared of men after what happened.” 
Victoria nodded in agreement. 
You crossed your arms. “I think that Max knows that dad wasn’t a good man. And well, he still loves Lando though.” 
“Is that Max?” 
Speaking of. 
Max’s head jerked up from Charles’s shoulder at the familiar voice. His little head swerved in the direction of the papaya clad driver. 
“Lanno!” 
Max started to squirm in the captive arms. Charles quickly set him down, not wanting him to fall. Max immediately ran to the Briton, who picked him up with ease. At the sight of the two, Charles pouted. 
You knocked him with your shoulder. “Don’t’ worry, you’re still his favorite. He bought Max a toy McLaren for his birthday and Max demanded that I paint it red and add a 16 on the side.” 
Charles seemed to gleam with pride at the confession. 
“Don’t tell Lando though. He’d be devastated.” 
What Lando didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 
“Hey little man. You ready to watch the race?” 
Max’s head bobbed quickly. 
“Are you going to watch Lanno win?” 
At that, Max shook his head making Lando’s eyes widened. 
“Little Verstappen I am hurt.” Lando clutched his hand to his heart in mock hurt. Max only stared at him while the McLaren driver put on a bit of a show. 
Charles piped up from beside you. “Max, is Charlie going to win?” 
Max, once again, shook his head. Now that made you confused, because Max always cheered for Charles. You cocked your head as you looked at your brother. 
“Then who Maxy?” 
The boy shyly pointed at you before muttering, “Zusje gaat jullie allemaal verslaan.” 
Not that made you laugh out loud, causing even more confusion to the two male drivers. You covered your mouth as you continued to laugh. Sophie and Victoria laughing as well. 
You smirked at your rival and teammate. 
“He said I’m going to kick your asses.” 
Max gasped as he heard your words. 
“Bad words!” 
Max pouted as he was put down by Lando. His little legs ran to you and his arms stretched out wanting you to pick him up. You squatted and scooped him up. Your arms tightened around him as he tried his best to hug you. 
“Sorry for the bad words kid.” 
“’S ok,” he slurred, getting even more tired. It was definitely his nap time. And it was time to get in your car. You handed him back to Sophie, who gave you a kiss on your head as you stooped. You gave a quick hug to Victoria before going back to kiss Max’s head. 
“I’ll win for you ok?” 
Obviously, he couldn’t hear you, but you would say it anyway. You turned away from your family to get ready. 
“Going soft on me L/n?” Lando quipped, making his way out of your garage. 
You discreetly flipped him off, to which he laughed at as he left. It took about 30 minutes to get in the car and get everything ready. You swerved your head, making sure the helmet was tight. Your eyes flitted about the garage and caught sight of your family again. Max was now wide awake and waving at you. 
Your gloved hand reached out and displayed your fingers wide. The little boy reached over in his mom’s arms and clapped your hand with his small one. You were given the signal that it was time and drove off once Sophie was out of the way. 
Her and Max watched as you rounded the corner in your red Ferrari, out of sight. 
Sophie leaned down and kissed her youngest’s head.
“Mijn baby, zal zus winnen?” 
Max’s small voice was just loud enough for her to hear. 
“Ja mama, sij is kampioen.” 
Earth 9596 
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(btw - I made the max pic because no one has good edits of him in a ferrari suit)
“Scuderia Ferrari Signs Y/n L/n for the 2024 Season”
“Ferrari Mistake? The Formula 1 Team Signs the Youngest Driver to Date” 
“Ferrari Becomes the First Formula 1 Team to Sign Female Driver” 
“Former F1 Champion Lorenzo Alessandrino Backs Goddaughter as Her Race Engineer” 
“How Will Verstappen React to His Younger Teammate on the Track?” 
You hadn’t known what to expect when you arrived at the paddock first thing on Saturday morning. You had convinced Lorenzo to bring you early so you could at least avoid some of the crowds, if not all. However, it seemed like everyone else liked that plan as well, and the paddock was full. 
You hung back near Enzo as the two of you walked side by side. Your hands gripped your backpack straps hard, turning your knuckles almost stark white. Thankfully, your sunglasses kept your wide and scared eyes from the public. It wasn’t that you were scared of people. It’s what you thought that they thought about you that made you nervous. 
Just 17 and baby faced. 
Something that wasn’t heard of in 2024. Yet, with older drivers retiring back and forth, the FIA had to make new changes to deal with the need of rookie drivers. Hence why Lorenzo pushed to have Ferrari sign you as early as possible. You basically went from karting, to Formula 2 and didn’t even start your second season. 
It came as a shock when Lewis Hamilton finally retired after only one year at Ferrari. You had thought that he’d want to get one more championship to make it to 9. But, life throws curveballs and it was headed straight to you. 
Now you had to face your new teammate, a champion himself, Max Verstappen. You let out a sigh of relief when you noticed that he was talking to Charles Leclerc and Fernando Alonso. The two black Mercedes polos stood out in contrast to Max’s red one. You took a quick glance at the two drivers and realized that they were already watching you. 
Your cheeks heated up as you quickened your steps to get to the garage faster. Once you were in the safety of the garage, you let out a deep sigh. 
Lorenzo looked at you with a sad smile. He knew you were going to be overwhelmed for the entire day. He took his backpack off and reached down in, fingers feeling for your headphones. He took them out and handed them to you. 
You immediately put them on, connected them to your phone, turned on the music, and got to work on your racing journal. You wanted to go over your notes before the race. While you were distracted, Enzo took a little walk, trying to find some coffee. 
He ended up walking past the group of three drivers and smiled at Charles. The Italian knew of him growing up and was excited to see him in a team that gave him a good championship winning car. 
He nodded his head toward your new teammate. “Max.” 
Max’s eyes lightened at the familiar face. “Enzo!” 
The two bro-hugged before parting, letting Enzo greet the two Merc drivers. When he was done, Max had a teasing attitude. 
“Can’t convince you to stay as my engineer? Don’t get me wrong, I love GP, but you knew me better.” 
Enzo smiled and shook his head. “No can do. Gotta take care of my kid.” 
Fernando entered the conversation. “Where is she? We saw her walking but then she disappeared.” 
The older man scratched his head. “Yeah, she tends to do that. She’s a bit nervous.” 
Charles scoffed. “I’ll say. They shouldn’t have said anything until Wednesday. Sky Sports announced it way too early.” 
The Monegasque had something similar happen to him when he first joined Mercedes. It had all been planned that he would take Valtteri Bottas’s seat mid-season. Yet, Sky Sports announced it before Mercedes had a chance to even say that Bottas had wanted to retire early due to an illness. The media had made Charles into a seat-stealing villain his first season. 
The engineer nodded sadly. “I think she’s also nervous about the team.” 
Max looked at him with a shocked expression. “The team?” 
Enzo waved his hands. “She has full confidence. Y/n’s a bit nervous about trying to be on your level Max.” 
Well, that didn’t settle well with the Dutchman. Great, he was excited to have such a young teammate: someone who he could get along with and help them grow in the sport. But now, you were afraid of him? 
“She’s not scared of you Max, just nervous.” 
Oh. He said that out loud. 
Max glanced back at the garage. “Can I go talk to her.” 
Enzo nodded before handing him a pen. “I forgot to give this to her, she’ll be looking for it. You don’t mind giving it to her right?” 
“Not at all,” he responded, thankful for something that could break the ice between the two of you. 
Max grasped the pen and made his way to the overly bright red garage. He really wished Ferrari would take a page out of Mercedes’s book and make everything black. But no, they had to show off the corsa rosso red. 
You were too busy writing some notes down, with the wrong pen, to notice Max’s shoes now in your line of sight. The Dutchman lightly nudged your own shoe, which had your head jerking up to look at him. 
Your eyes widened and your hands reached to pull your headphones off. 
Max only smiled down at you. He thought that you looked like a scared mouse. He wondered if you were quiet like one as well. 
“Mind if I sit?” he asked. 
You could only shake your head no and scoot over as Max sat down on the concrete near you. The two of you sat in silence as you continued to scribble. Max suddenly remembered the pen in his hand. 
“Here. Enzo wanted me to give this to you.” 
Your fingers lightly touched his as you grabbed it from him. 
To Max, you also reminded him of his sister at this age. Shy, meek, quiet. But he had seen your videos and your impressiveness on the track. Your overtakes were nothing to be overlooked. He heard you sigh as the pen now nicely glided over the pages. 
The Dutchman let his eyes wander over the pages. He noticed that you were even taking notes on him as well.
You didn’t look at him, but you spoke, “If you break a bit later on turn 4, you can cut off another tenth.” 
Your voice gave Max whiplash as he wasn’t expecting you to talk to him without being prompted. His mind ran as he tried to remember turn 4. When he did the calculations he was surprised to find that you were correct. 
“How did you..” 
“I watched your onboards from last season. You’re very, what’s the word,” you gave him a smirk, “predictable.” 
Max’s jaw dropped, which caused you to laugh a bit. Max, although shocked, was glad that you were coming out of your shell a bit. 
He leaned over to whisper, “Are you overwhelmed with the red as much as I am.” 
You smiled as you whispered back, “It is positively draining. Why can’t they do black like Mercedes?” 
Max threw his hands up. “That’s what I’ve been saying.” 
You pretended to think. “What if we gang up on them. They can’t resist both drivers.” 
Max put on a weird accent, making his voice higher. “It’s either change the garage and everything to black or we walk.” 
That made you snort which caused Max to wheeze. 
Enzo was just on his way back with two coffees (both for him) when he heard the sound of you laughs mixed with Max’s. He smiled fondly at the two drivers. He took a sip before putting on his bright red headphones that he needed for qualifying. He coughed a bit, but it was soon over. Nothing like the sickness that he barely beat back in 2019. He was thankful that he got to continue to watch you grow. 
Max asked, “How far do you think you’ll get in qualifying?” 
You thought for a moment. “Uh, I hope to make it to Q2 if possible.”
The Dutchman lifted his hand to ruffle your hair. Your hands swatted at him as you pouted. 
“I think you can get farther.” 
You only shrugged. “We’ll see.” 
The car was definitely your safe space. You felt as though you could finally breathe easier. 
“Radio check please.” 
“Loud and clear Enzo.” 
“Ok, let’s get this bread.” 
You shook your head as you sat in the car. “Please never say that again.” 
Much to your and the team’s delight, you made it past Q1 and Q2. And you ended Q3 in the second row in P3. Max had just missed pole by mere hundredths. Charles Leclerc always had scarily good one lappers in the third session. 
Max gave you a giant hug at the end of the session, very glad at your positioning. 
As he had his arms around you, he thought to himself. 
“Yeah. You were going to be great.” 
Earth 331649 
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The big letters stood out to Max as his eyes began to water. 
“Not Applicable for Adoption at this Time” was all the top said. He hadn’t bothered to read the rest. He knew what it was going to say. It’s what every letter said for the past few months. 
They weren’t approved. 
They traveled too much. 
There weren’t any in their preferred age group that were adoptable right now. 
They wouldn’t be able to take care of a baby. 
They were…Max didn’t even want to mention the word. 
He glanced at the gold band that adorned his ring finger on his left hand. The sight made his eyes water more. The paper was quickly crumpled and thrown to the side. The Dutchman leaned forward and put his hands over his face and just sobbed. 
They had been trying for so long. The conversation had started two years ago as they lied in bed one night. They were nearing the ends of their careers, but they hadn’t wanted to wait until they were retired. They were sure in their marriage enough to where they both could handle a baby in their lives. 
A mini them running around, playing with Jimmy and Sassy. The thought was too much to bear right now though. 
The door clicked but Max hadn’t heard, he just continued to sob. 
“Amore, I’m back from the shop. They had the pastries that you really liked. Amore?”
Max started sobbing harder. Before he heard knew it, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. He heard a big sigh as a head rested against his back. 
“Another one?” 
Max didn’t even reply, but his sobs had subsided into quiet sniffles. Charles glanced over at the crumpled paper that had been tossed to the side. He’s told Max time and time again to wait until he gets home to read them, but the older was always a bit too excited or anxious to wait. He bit his tough, not wanting to say anything that could upset the Dutchman even more. 
“It will be all right.” 
“Will it?” Max bit back, full of sadness and anger. But, it wasn’t anger at Charles. He was angry at the world. 
“It will,” Charles hummed. However, the Monegasque was also getting run down by all the rejection letters. He didn’t know how much more he could take. But, he wanted to be strong for Max. For himself. For their hopeful future child. 
“Every time Charlie. Every time, it’s always a different excuse.” 
“Our time will come.” 
“But what if it doesn’t? We aren’t getting any younger Charles.” 
The Monegasque harshly inhaled. He stopped rubbing Max’s back. Although, he really didn’t know when he started. 
He went to say something, yet his phone rang loudly, breaking the silence of the room. Charles muttered something about wanting to hang up, but his breath hitched at the sight of the name at the top of his phone. His thumb had never pressed the answer button. 
He quickly put the call on speaker. 
“Bonjour?”
“Ah, Mr. Verstappen?”  
“This is he.” 
“Is your husband here with you?” 
Max perked up at the question. His eyes were bloodshot, but he was now paying attention. He scooted even closer to Charles, face almost in the phone. 
Charles chuckled at Max’s closeness. 
“Oui, he is here.” 
“Ok, so we just got a call from the Princess Grace Hospital. We think you want to come here for this.” 
Max gulped before whispering. “It is what we think it is?” 
Charles held his breath as he and Max waited for the answer. 
“Why don’t you come find out.”
The two of them could hear the playfulness as the their adoption agent hung up the phone. They looked into each other’s eyes before they dashed around, getting their shoes on. Max almost tripped as he hopped on one foot, his shoe getting caught on his finger. Charles chuckled as he bent to tie his own shoe. 
Max was halfway out the door, still waiting. 
“Come on Charlie.”
“Mon amore, are you forgetting something?” 
Max patted his pockets and realized he forgot the key that were now dangling on Charles’s finger. 
“Oh.” 
Charles rolled his eyes as he walked toward the door, grabbing Max’s waste as he walked. The Dutchman quickly followed him to the Monegasque’s Ferrari Purosangue. He bought the SUV when he and Max put in their first adoption profile. 
Max huffed as he noticed that Charles was going below the speed limit. 
“Baby, can you maybe, hurry up?” 
Charles only hummed as a reply. He did step on the gas a bit, but the Monaco speeds were slow as it. It wasn’t their fault that they drove ridiculously fast cars and his husband was currently high strung. 
Charles put his hand on Max’s thigh and started to rub small circles, which in the long run did help Max calm down a bit. 
The Dutchman had calmed down some by the time they parked in front. Charles started to get out of the car, but Max’s hand grabbed his arm before he got far. Charles recognized the look of fear on his husband’s face. His pointer finger found the golden band on Max’s finger and started to rub it. 
“What if- What if- What if it happens again.” 
Charles’s eyes drooped a bit at the sadness in Max’s voice. 
“But what if it doesn’t?” 
A glimmer of hope came back to Max’s eyes as he places a chaste kiss on Charles’s lips. 
“Let’s go.”
With an unbuckle of his seatbelt, Max was out the door. Charles had to catch up to Max’s larger steps. His hand soon found Max’s as they walked in. He squeezed three times, and got three in return. 
Charles look the lead as they approached the front desk. The lady at the computer had a nice attitude as she gave them a smile when she looked up from her screen. 
“May I help you gentlemen?” 
“Ah, yes, my husband and I got a call from our adoption agent, Mitch Walker.” 
The lady’s eyebrows raised as she started to type on her computer once again. Max bounced in his place, willing the lady to type faster. 
“Ah, floor three, room 89.” 
“Thank you,” Charles stated, already watching Max walk toward the elevator. He chuckled as he slowly followed, knowing the elevator would arrive when he got there. Inside the contraption, Max read the list of floors. 
His finger traced them until he got to the third floor. 
“Charlie.”
Charles looked where his finger had landed. 
Delivery floor.
Before Charles could react, the elevator doors opened. They both bolted into the hallway. 
86. 
87. 
88. 
89. 
They both paused in front. 
“Ready?” 
“Ready.” 
Charles grabbed the nob and slowly twisted. The room was a bit dim and Mitch was standing in the middle of the room. She turned at the sound of the door and a smile made a way on her face. 
“Hi guys,” she whispered. She stepped closer and pulled a curtain that cut the room in half. 
“Hi,” Charles replied, also whispering. 
Mitch put her hands together. “So, we have a little someone who was given up today. If everything goes well, you two might be going home with a baby today.” 
Tears welled up in Max’s eyes at her words. He choked down a sob and bit his knuckle.
“I just need you two to wash your hands and then you can meet her.” 
Charles whispered, “Her?” 
Mitch only nodded. 
This time, Charles was the one to let out a small sob. They gingerly walked over to the sink, hands bumping into each other as they rinsed under the water. Once dry, Mitch dragged the curtain back over. 
In the middle of the smaller section near a couch, lied a bassinet. With bated breath, Charles and Max peered over. Tears now welling in both their eyes. Max’s finger gently moved towards the baby’s face. 
He lightly grazed the soft cheek, causing the baby to squirm. Max had never jerked his hand away from something faster. Charles let out a small and quiet laugh. The baby’s hand was open, inviting Charles to put his finger in the tiny palm. 
The baby suddenly curled her fingers around the one finger, eyes suddenly opening. The Dutchman wanted to cry once again. Her green eyes peered up at him. Max’s eyes caught a tuft of hair and he gently pulled back the tiny hat. Blond hair appeared in a small bit. He gently pulled the hat back into place. 
His blond hair. 
Charles’s green eyes. 
Charles turned to Mitch. 
“Can I hold her.” 
A single nod had Charles scooping the baby in his arms, and he placed her on his chest. His body leaned back just a bit to accommodate her. Max immediately took his phone out and took a picture. He was definitely going to use that as his lock screen picture from now on. 
Max watched as Charles sat on the small couch in the corner. Max followed suit and sat next to him. 
The baby was looking right at him. 
“Hello little one,” he whispered, finding the courage to graze her face once again. A small smile appeared on the girl’s face, but it was short lived. But, Max had seen it and he was happy that it was directed at him. 
“-ax, Amore.”
His eyes shot up to Charles’s face. 
“Yes?” 
The brunet rolled his eyes. “I asked: Do you want to hold her?” 
Max could only nod. Charles gently handed her over to his husband and watched as his big hands cradled the baby. One hand was gently placed on her bum and the other on her head. He cooed at the man and baby, seeing tears stream down his face. 
Mitch quietly approached the couple. “So, it seems like everything is going well. I can almost read your minds and I got your application approved. It’ll take a while for everything to come in but you are good to take her home.” 
Charles stood and gave her a giant hug: big enough for the both of them. She patted Charles’s back before grinning widely again. 
“You know, she doesn’t have a name yet.” 
Max’s head whipped from the baby to the woman. 
“We get to name her?” he questioned, heart filling with so much love. There were so many names that he and Charles had picked out. The first name would be something special, something not used before. The middle names would be in honor of loved ones past and present. And then, the baby would take both last names. 
Mitch came over with a certificate and pen in hand. 
“Do you two know or do you need a moment?” 
Max nodded at Charles and then looked back down at the beautiful green eyes that stared up with him. 
Charles did the honors. 
“Her name is Y/n Julia Sophie Pascale Antoinette Leclerc-Verstappen.” 
Little Y/n. Oh how the world wasn’t ready. But it would welcome her with open arms.
Earth 959589 
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“Shit!” you yelled, tumbling out of bed. You were late, oh you were so late. Max was going to kill you and you could say goodbye to your seat. 
Before the season even started. 
You tripped as you pulled on a shoe, face planting back into the bed. Your phone was currently blowing up with notifications as it rested on the side table. You hastily pulled on your Red Bull polo and grabbed your jeans. Your foot got stuck since you put your shoes on first. 
Great move Y/n, great move. 
You finally got a hand on your phone and answered the call. 
“Where are you? Max is close to having an aneurism,” your race engineer hissed through the phone.  
“I know Charles, but my alarm never went off!” 
Your head was pressing your phone to your shoulder as you talked and walked toward the elevator. 
“Just please get here ASAP,” he sighed. You could see the man rubbing his eyebrows, even if you couldn’t see him. 
“I’m getting in the car now.” 
“You better be thankful. I’ll see you here.” 
When you arrived to the paddock, you went directly to the interviews, which you were late for as well. You winced as you walked in front of everyone and sat down, face ablaze in red. 
Lando poked your side. At least he went with the polo so you two could be matching some. He leaned over when a question was directed to Arthur. 
“Max is going to kill you.” He smirked as he leaned away. Your microphone accidentally picked up the smack to his shoulder. Some eyes landed on you as you tried to duck away. 
Arthur looked over at you. “Nice of you to join us champ.” 
You shrugged. “My alarm didn’t go off.” 
“Sure.” 
Your jaw dropped. “Excuse you?” 
Before you could get any farther, a journalist asked a question directed toward you. 
“Y/n, if I may, how is this season a bit different than last?” 
Your eyes looked up as you thought of a good answer. “Uh, well, there was a lot of change within Red Bull this past winter break. My old teammate went to being my team principal. And then he somehow convinced Charles to join as well and be my race engineer.” 
A scoff came from Arthur that cause you to lean to look at him. 
“Are you all right Leclerc?” 
The Monegasque rolled his eyes. 
“I would like to have my brother back please.” 
“Well, too bad I got him first. And then back to my question. Lando became my teammate and he’s giving me a run for my money.” 
Lando smirked at that statement. 
“Ah yes, the cheeky little bugger he is. But, I’m really on track for my second championship. Maybe next year I’ll let Lando get one.” 
The journalist thanked you for your good answer.
Fortunately the press conference ended after that. Yet, it was unfortunate for you since you could feel Max’s glare from miles away. You stopped, causing Arthur to bump into your back. 
“Any chance I can come hide in your driver’s room?” 
Arthur shook his head yes, giving you some hope. 
“No.” 
You visibly deflated as you watched him walk toward the bright red garage. 
A sigh left your lips as you stalked toward the garage. Charles gave you a sympathetic look as you walked past. His hand rubbed your shoulder until he gently pushed you toward Max. You winced under the Dutchman’s glare. 
“My office Y/n.” 
You could only follow him into the office. You took the first seat you passed in front of the large desk. Max rubbed his eyebrows and sighed. But, you panicked. 
“I’m so sorry Max. I swore I turned on my alarms last night, but I was up late going over data again because I can’t let the team down again like last race. I know that I can make up the speed. And then my phone was on silent and then I tripped on my shoe and the car got stuck in traffic. I swear I went straight to the conference. I won’t be late again I promise, just please don’t take away my seat.” 
Max watched in horror as you lost your composure right in front of him. This monologue only told him that you were truly scared that he’d kick you off the team because of a little DNF last race. His heart dropped as he saw tears stream down your face as you visibly shook. 
He stood up quickly and rounded the desk. His hands dropped on your shoulders. 
“Kid, kid. Listen to me. You’re not going to lose your seat. I was just worried when you didn’t show up and when you didn’t answer mine or Charles’s calls.” 
“Oh.” 
Max wanted to laugh. “Yes, oh. Do you remember all the times I used to show up late? The times that Charles showed up late as well?” 
You let out a chuckle as you remembered both Ferrari drivers would show up a bit late. No one ever seemed to mind. You let out a sigh of relief. 
Max stood up and walked toward the door. “Now, let’s go out there and what do we do?” 
“Kick names and take ass!” 
Max rolled his eyes. “Sure kid. Sure.” 
Earth 1218 - Present Earth   
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You gasped as you sat up in your bed. 
“Kid?” Max questioned, head popping up from the couch. Vegas had been super early again and you and Max didn’t want to go back to the hotel when you had FP2 soon. So, the two of you just curled up in his driver’s room. His voice was groggy as he had just gotten up from an interrupted nap as well. 
You clutched your head and groaned. 
“I had such weird dreams.” 
“Oh. Tell me?” Max’s head was already back down on his pillow. 
“You were a king, and then you were my younger brother?” 
Max snorted but let you continue. He knew that you wouldn’t remember in the morning anyway. 
“And then you were my teammate at Ferrari and Charles drove for Mercedes, Enzo was there. Oh, and then you and Charles were married.” 
“Kid you have been watching too many Lestappen edits on Twitter and TikTok.” 
You only grumbled. 
“I do not. Finally you were my team principal.” 
“Strange. Go back to sleep.” 
Max never got an answer back, because you were already zonked. He chucked and turned back over, phone clenched in his hand as he watched the edit of Charles’s 2022 sunset lap into his 2023 pre-storm qualification. However, he didn’t know that his volume was so loud. 
“He was sunshine, I was midnight rain…And I could see it all in my mind…” 
“I KNEW IT! YOU WATCH THEM TOO!” 
“GO TO SLEEP!” 
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a-araiguma-a · 3 months ago
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He loved only her
No one in particular, just an elf from the universe of J. R. R. Tolkien. Elf x f!reader
In the ancient forests of Middle-earth, where tall trees concealed the sky, there lived an elf. His people were as eternal as the forest itself, and their hearts were rarely clouded by mortal emotions. But one day, he met a woman—a simple, human, mortal woman. There was something about her that made his heart beat faster: her beauty, which could neither be captured by the finest poets nor sung by the greatest musicians, her mind, so unlike that of other humans, filled with thoughts, ideas, and philosophy, or her eyes, in which one could drown if they gazed too long. It was something he could not understand, but this only made his love grow deeper.
"Cormamin lindua ele lle"—he always wanted to tell her that his heart sang at the sight of her, but it was not the right time, not yet. From the moment of their first meeting, he sought her out and waited for her in this forest every day when the sun's rays gently touched the ground, filtering through the thick foliage.
She told him about her world, about the brief lives of humans, about how they lived and died, dreaming and suffering.
"Lle naa vanima,"—he blurted out one day, not even realizing when he had said it: "You are beautiful." "What did you say?"—fortunately, she didn't understand his words, and that saddened him. It was not enough for him to meet her in the evenings; he longed to extend their conversations, to stretch them out for an hour, two, or forever. He listened to her stories, captivated not by the words themselves but by how her voice filled the emptiness in his soul. Without her, he would never have known the need to fill it.
"Tua amin!"—But did he need help? Did he need to be saved from her? Honestly, no, he was ready to drown in her eyes, ready to die if only to meet her once more. He was ready for anything...
But the Elf did not know how to tell her about his feelings. He understood that the time she gave him was limited, and each moment with her was precious. But how could he explain this? How could he tell her that his heart, which had always been eternal and free, now belonged to her? "The more you love someone," he thought, "the harder it is to tell them." "Nin lithiach, Meleth nín"—she truly enchanted him every time he saw her, even in his thoughts. His beloved. "Guren mil gaim lín"—his heart was in her hands—"Tessa sina ten’ amin"—he asked her to keep it, but in truth, she was free to do with it as she wished, as long as it was her.
And she accepted him. She had loved him too, ever since then, but she understood that it would be difficult for him; her life was short, and what would happen afterward, when she left him? She was ready to weep over such a truth. "Amin uuma malia, Arwen en amin"—it didn't concern him. Being with her and having her even for a moment was already enough. The chance to call her his—that was his happiness. His Lady, who ruled his heart and mind.
As the years passed, she began to talk more often about parting, though it pained the elf to hear it, he couldn't disagree. "When the day comes that we part," she said quietly, "if my last words aren't 'Amin mela lle,' you'll know it's because I didn't have time." In those moments, he remained silent, lost in thought, unable to find the words to express that his love knew no bounds of time. "Meleth e-guilen, my love is selfish. I can't breathe without you,"—she was the love of his life. How could she speak of them parting, not seeing her, not inhaling her scent in the mornings, no more afternoon conversations about books, about how Ellen had messed up her work again, no more seeing her smile, or those gentle eyes full of love for him... "Aa’ lasser en he coia orn n' omenta gurtha!"—Let the leaves of her tree of life never wither, he prayed. Just a little longer, he wasn't ready yet, but how could he stretch this time?
But when the fog enveloped the forest, and the cold wind brought with it a premonition of farewell, the elf finally spoke what was in his heart. He took her hand and said: "I was destined to live a thousand years, and I belong only to you for all those years. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want you to be mine in every one of them." She looked at him, and a tear glistened in her eye. She knew their time was running out, but these were the words she believed in more than anything in the world.
For the elf's love was as eternal as the forest itself, and he continued to love, despite their parting, carrying his feelings for her through the years and ages of his life.
"Cormamin niuve tenna’ ta elea lle au’"—My heart will wait until it sees you again. "Le me ithon anuir"—I will love you forever. "Quel kaima"—Rest well.
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dee-writes-angst · 8 months ago
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SPRING (Chapter One)
FEATURING Azriel x Illyrian!reader
SUMMARY on a mission to discuss peace negotiations with the Illyrians, you find yourself in a tricky spot without your best friend. (part two is up)
CONTENT WARNINGS descriptions of injuries, pain, torture, depression, and misogyny. This one is dark, please ensure you are feeling comfortable and safe.
AUTHORS NOTE today I woke up and chose violence apparently. This fic is unbelievably long and It's been a while, so I thought I would appease you while I continue to work on the second part of the mark fic. I hope you all enjoy. <3
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In the gentle embrace of spring, as nature stirred from its winter slumber, the world seemed to come alive in a symphony of sights and sounds. The air grew lively with vibrant colors of blossoming trees, their delicate leaves unfurling, whispering hope upon the wind. Each leaf and flower, each insect and animal all seeming to dance in the sunlight and bask in new chances of growth. It was truly a testament to beauty and resilience, to life.
But, amidst the beauty of renewal, there lingered a sense of sorrow, a deep heaviness that hung in the air like a dark cloud just breaching above the horizon. Spring had brough not only the promise of new beginnings, but a painful reminder for all that had been lost and forgotten. And as rain fell softly upon the earth, calling to mother nature to gift the soil with fertility, memories of pain consumed you. The gentle patter of raindrops against the earth did not serve to remind you of new beginnings, but set a somber soundtrack in your thoughts, a melancholy melody that echoed the ache you felt in your heart.
As pollen filled the air, coloring the wind and triggering allergies that left you sneezing and sniffling, you couldn't help but feel trapped within the confines of your own sorrow, isolated from the prospering world around you. Vibrant colors and sweet scents did nothing to comfort, rather building a prison of sorts, confining you to the memories of the person you once were, of the life you used to lead.
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(Springtime, The Illyrian Mountains)
As you and Azriel ventured into the heart of the Illyrian steeps on a mission, the harsh terrain mirrored the cold, hardened demeanor of its inhabitants. The people of this unforgiving land, with their anger and hostility, were the only semblance of family you had ever known. Yet, their begrudging tolerance of your existence only fueled the resentment that simmered within you. How could you ever understand a people who would dare to strip you of your wings, your very essence of freedom, as a cruel display of dominance and worthlessness?
"Interesting how Rhys sends the two of us, who would sooner see the Illyrians burn, for peace negotiations," you remarked with a bitter chuckle, nudging Azriel to draw him from his thoughts. Azriel, your closest friend for three centuries, had become a steadfast companion since that fateful night when you first crossed paths with Mor at Rita's. Though the details of that encounter remained a blur, the bond forged between you and Azriel stood firm.
"Cass is stuck with Nesta. She’s been feeling off lately, she senses something stirring, but isn’t sure what. Elain shared her sentiments," Azriel grumbled, his countenance slipping into the stoic mask of the shadowsinger, overshadowing his gentle and kind-hearted nature that was generally reserved for you and the rest of your chosen family.
"So, Rhys sent the only other two Illyrians he knows. How convenient for us," you retorted, your wings instinctively folding in close as you navigated the lifeless streets of the Illyrian camp. By now, they had learned better than to challenge your presence for too long.
"Just stick close," Azriel advised, his voice tinged with caution. “There are still many men who wish to see you wingless and under their influence.”
You rolled your eyes and let out an exasperated huff but nodded in agreement. "Stubborn bastards," you muttered under your breath.
In hindsight, perhaps openly disparaging them while walking through their camp wasn't the wisest choice. But they were well aware of your disdain for them, just as you knew the depths of their animosity towards you. They had cast you out like prey when you were just a child, and you had since made it your life's mission to rise above them in every way possible. The mere thought of your superiority grated on them to no end, and you reveled in it.
Azriel chuckled softly, a wry smile playing at the corners of his lips. He nudged you back in the side as you approached Lord Devlon’s home, the both of you sharing a sullen look of understanding before Azriel knocked.
The response was immediate, Lord Devlon swinging the door open with a scowl that mirrored Azriel's own grim expression. "I don't care that you force us to let our women keep their wings," he spat, his tone dripping with disdain, "but I will not negotiate with one. Especially her."
Azriel's growl rumbled deep in his chest, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "I don’t give a fuck about your preferences," he snapped, his voice laced with barely restrained anger.
You sighed, your wings flaring behind you in agitation as you shot a withering glare at Devlon. Barely missing Azriel's own, which mirrored your movements, his solidarity unwavering.
Turning to Azriel, you spoke with a sense of resignation. "Go on. I'll catch up with Emerie and a few others."
Though reluctant to part ways, Azriel relented, “Fine,” he growled, knocking his forehead gently against yours. It was a gesture you both shared, a silent reassurance that you were never truly alone in the face of adversity. With a nod of encouragement, you turned and walked off Devlon’s steps, making your way back into town to seek solace in the company of the only Illyrian, aside from your bat boys, whom you found more than tolerable.
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After sharing a drink with Emerie and catching up for a few hours, you felt a tug of responsibility urging you to check in on Devlon and Azriel. Yet, deep down, a part of you secretly hoped that Azriel had taken matters into his own hands and dealt with the pompous leader once and for all, though you dared not voice such thoughts aloud.
As you stepped outside, the tranquility of spring in the mountains enveloped you like a comforting embrace. The harsh winds of winter had given way to a gentle, cool breeze that whispered through the trees, carrying with it the promise of warmer days ahead. It was a peaceful scene, if one could ignore the harsh realities of life in this unforgiving land, and the unspeakable horrors inflicted upon its women.
You closed your eyes for a moment, allowing yourself to bask in the crisp, cool air, a stark contrast to the warmer weather of Velaris. But before you could fully immerse yourself in the tranquility of the moment, they struck.
It happened so quickly, the ambush catching you off guard. Before you could react, a blow to the back of your head sent you reeling, darkness descending upon you like a heavy shroud. In the blink of an eye, consciousness slipped away, leaving you vulnerable and defenseless against the unknown assailants. If you had had the chance to process the situation, perhaps embarrassment would have crept in at being caught off guard so easily. But the darkness of unconsciousness claimed you swiftly, dragging you down into its depths before you could even muster a response.
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"Wake up, whore," a voice hissed in your ear, jolting you from the haze of unconsciousness. Your heart pounded in your chest as you struggled to make sense of your surroundings, the harshness of the voice sending a shiver down your spine. Blinking against the darkness that enveloped you, you felt a heavy weight pressing down upon your head—a bag, thick and suffocating, that obscured your vision and when you moved—thrashed— against the seat you were in, you quickly realized that you were bound.
Shit.
The bag over your head muffled your senses, leaving you completely disoriented and vulnerable to your captors. Panic surged through you at this revelation, causing a sudden spark of energy to send you thrashing against your restraints, deep realization sinking in your stomach with sickening dread.
The voice that had startled you awake, one that sounded awfully familiar, chuckled darkly, a deep, cruel sound that sent shivers cascading down your spine. “No need to struggle, sweetheart,” he mocked, “you’re not going anywhere.”
Your heart hammered against your chest as you strained to make sense of your surroundings, to recognize even the slightest detail, but all you could make out was the stench of damp earth and mildew. Fear clawed its way down your throat, leaving deep gauges as you tried to keep your composure, to get out of this place, this nightmare, before it was too late.
“Where am I?” You growled, your voice heavy with defiance as you demanded your location, only a slight lilt of fear made its way past your throat.
“You're not the one making demands here,” he sneered, tone dripping with pure malice. He must have been an Illyrian. No one else would have the gall to try something like this, either too afraid of you, or too afraid of Azriel’s wrath. Just the thought of him filled you with a desperate longing, a flicker of hope amidst the darkness that threatened to consume you.
As you struggled to piece together your next move, the sound of footsteps approached, echoing ominously in the darkness. You braced yourself for what was to come, steeling your resolve to survive whatever horrors awaited you.
The bag was roughly pulled from your head, and you blinked against the sudden onslaught of light, squinting to make out the figure before you. As your vision cleared, you found yourself face to face with your captor, Lyris, who you used to train with as a kid, his eyes cold and calculating as he loomed over you with a wicked grin.
As the realization of your fate settled like a heavy stone in your chest, Lyris approached, his steps deliberate and purposeful. He wielded a gleaming dagger in his hand, the cold metal glinting in the dim light of the chamber. Your heart hammered in your chest as fear gripped you like a vice, every instinct screaming at you to fight, to flee, but the chains binding you rendered you helpless.
With a cruel smirk, Lyris loomed over you, his eyes alight with sadistic delight. "Time to finally take what's mine, what those bastard whoresons took from me so many years ago," he sneered, the dagger poised menacingly in his grasp.
Your breath caught in your throat as the blade descended, slicing through the air with a sickening sound that made your blood run cold. You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the searing pain that was sure to follow.
The first cut came swift and merciless, a sharp agony tearing through your being as the blade bit into your flesh. A strangled cry tore from your lips, the sound echoing off the walls of the chamber as your world exploded into a whirlwind of pain and terror.
“Look at these pretty wings,” Lyris hummed, his voice filled with the rasp of adrenaline. “I cannot wait to hang them on the wall of our home. To keep you quiet, pliant, and filled with my children; as you should have been from the start.” His voice, one you used to cherish, one that reminded you of the little boy who would sneak away to help you, to train you against the backs of his mentors, was now torture.
But the torment did not end there. With ruthless precision, Lyris continued to wield his blade, each stroke bringing fresh waves of agony that threatened to consume you whole. You writhed and thrashed against your restraints; your cries of anguish lost in the darkness of the chamber. Through tear-blurred vision, you caught a glimpse of your wings, once symbols of freedom and strength, now mangled, bloodied and broken beyond recognition. Hot tears streamed down your cheeks as you watched helplessly, the realization of your loss hitting you like a physical blow.
And as the last remnants of your wings fell away, severed and discarded like worthless scraps of flesh, a hollow emptiness settled in the pit of your stomach. You were no longer whole, no longer the person you once were. You had been robbed of your identity, your essence, and in their place remained only the cruel scars of your torment.
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In the oppressive darkness of your captivity, each passing moment stretched into an eternity, the weight of your mutilation a relentless burden threatening to crush not just your body, but your very spirit. Bound and helpless, you lay upon the cold stone floor, every breath a labored struggle against the suffocating silence that surrounded you. The air itself felt heavy with despair, pressing down upon you like a suffocating blanket, leaving you gasping for air, for relief, for any semblance of hope.
Your limbs, once strong and nimble, now felt heavy and leaden, shackled by chains that dug into your flesh with cruel insistence, leaving angry welts in their wake. Each movement sent a jolt of searing pain shooting through your battered body, a constant reminder of the brutality you had endured.
Amidst the shadows that danced like malevolent phantoms in the night, a soft rustle of wings broke through the oppressive stillness, the whisper of shadows weaving through the air like an ancient, mournful melody. Your heart surged in your chest as a familiar presence enveloped the room, a warmth that banished the icy chill that had settled deep within your bones, offering a glimmer of solace in the midst of the suffocating darkness.
Azriel.
With a grace honed by centuries of training, Azriel moved with silent determination, his movements a symphony of lethal precision and raw emotion. Each step he took seemed to reverberate through the chamber, echoing the pounding of your heart as he closed in on your captors, his eyes burning with a fierce determination that bordered on desperation.
The sound of steel meeting flesh rang out like a mournful dirge, punctuated by the anguished cries of your assailants as they fell before Azriel's relentless onslaught, their tormentors becoming the tormented. The room erupted into chaos, the air thick with the scent of blood and sweat as Azriel moved with a fluidity that bordered on otherworldly, his wings unfurling like a dark, protective cloak as he danced amidst the shadows. It was a sight to behold, a dance of death performed with a grace and precision that belied the brutality of its execution, a testament to the depth of his devotion and the strength of his love.
Through the haze of pain and fear, a surge of gratitude washed over you, a profound sense of relief that threatened to overwhelm your senses. As Azriel approached, his hand outstretched in silent invitation, you reached out to him, your fingers trembling with exhaustion and relief, your heart overflowing with a love and gratitude that defied words. In that moment, as his steady presence enveloped you, you knew that you were not alone in the darkness.
“Gods, what did they do to you,” Azriel breathed, his own hands shaking as he helped you to your feet, the weight of your brokenness heavy in his arms. You swayed unsteadily, a marionette with severed strings, before collapsing against him, the pain of your loss too great to bear alone.
“Did-” You are cut off by a hiss of pain, the sharp intake of breath a dagger through your chest. You took a moment to collect yourself, the darkness at the edges of your vision threatening to engulf you. Azriel, a bastion of strength in the storm, gently guided you to the cold stone floor, his touch a lifeline in the suffocating darkness. “Did you kill him?” you managed to choke out, the words heavy with desperation and fear, each syllable a struggle against the encroaching oblivion.
“Who?” Azriel's voice was a low rumble, his grip on your hand grounding you in the present moment, a beacon of stability amidst the chaos that threatened to consume you both. Outside the confines of your enclosure, the sounds of chaos echoed in the air, a symphony of violence and retribution made in your honor.
“Lyris. Did you kill him?” Your voice wavered, the weight of your words a burden too heavy to bear alone. You felt lightheaded, the loss of blood draining your strength with each passing moment.
“Lyris? He was here?” Azirel's growl reverberated in the cavernous space, a primal sound that sent shivers down your spine. He was the only one you confided in about your history with the Illyrian male, the scars of your past laid bare before him.
You sniffled and sobbed, the floodgates of grief finally breaking as you allowed yourself to mourn the loss of your wings in the safety of Azriel’s presence. His arms wrapped around you, a shield against the storm raging within you, offering solace in the face of unspeakable loss.
“My wings?” you asked through sobs, the words a whisper against the backdrop of your anguish.
“Not here.” He whispered mournfully, his voice a lament for all that had been taken from you. You felt yourself deflate further, the realization settling like a heavy stone in the pit of your stomach. Your once friend, now tormentor, had escaped with the remnants of your shattered dreams, leaving you broken and bereft in his wake.
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In the aftermath of your rescue, the pain that gnawed at your soul was not just physical but a deep, unrelenting ache that seemed to permeate every fiber of your being. With each labored breath, you felt the absence of your wings like a gaping wound, a constant reminder of the brutality inflicted upon you.
As Azriel guided you through the darkness, his presence a flickering candle in the void, you stumbled and faltered, your body racked with tremors of agony. Each step sent shards of pain shooting through your mutilated form, a relentless onslaught that threatened to consume you whole.
The absence of your wings was not just a physical loss but a spiritual one, a cruel reminder of all that had been taken from you. Once a symbol of freedom and strength, they were now nothing more than cruel stumps, a mockery of what once was. With each beat of your heart, the pain pulsed like a funeral dirge, a haunting melody that echoed through the caverns of your soul. You longed to scream, to rage against the injustice of it all, but the darkness of your despair swallowed your cries before they could escape your lips.
And through it all, Azriel remained by your side, his presence a silent witness to your suffering. But even his steady presence could not chase away the shadows that threatened to consume you, leaving you adrift in a sea of despair.
As you emerged into the cool embrace of freedom, blinking against the harsh light of day, you felt a sense of emptiness wash over you—a hollow void that seemed to stretch on for eternity. The road ahead loomed dark and uncertain, a twisting labyrinth of pain and sorrow that threatened to swallow you whole.
[NEXT]
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lavieverdezoro · 1 year ago
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"Please"
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Sanji × Reader // female reader, nsfw - overstimulation (f!receiving), blood (Sanji nosebleeding), praising
You never know how you managed to get in such a situation such as Sanji eating you out relentlessly.
Sanji is a man who will automatically do what a woman tells him to. He's a womanizer, he treats each woman he sees as a goddess and expects nothing in return.
You've been noticing how the blonde was paying more attention on you. That thought surprised you but you couldn't help but feel a bit flattered. You've always liked his attention despite him being perverted, you found the special cook attractive on the way he treats you like no other man with such love, passion and care.
Sanji had been paying more attention to you because you give him attention he deeply needed and craved, he has been soaking up every attention you give him.
Whether it be a single glance or a simple greeting-he goes weak to his knees. You make him fidgety and bothered with thoughts. You fill him up with the sweetest of sins that lights up a fire deep within him.
He'd feel really guilty for thinking of such thoughts but he couldn't help himself, he's touch deprived but hates asking for it or anything in general. He does things for people without expecting anything in return. His kindness is what makes him the strongest but also the weakest.
Sanii was down bad and desperate. Despite that he's a hopeless romantic, he doesn't fully understand what love is. What love meant to him is him giving what people want even if it ends up hurting him in the process.
He was soaking up every bit of your attention, he'd do anything for you. He'd topple down empires for you, run around the whole earth for you, slash the moon in half if you asked, and you think you have to plead or even beg him for anything?
Sanji felt like he was in heaven when he got to eat you out relentlessly, he couldn't stop himself. He ate you out so many times to the point where you lost count.
Mmh. y/n~ my love, you taste so divine. I can't help it, let me do another round." He spoke into your clit, his nose bleeding whilst his wet muscle shove itself it and out of your pussy. His eye absorbing and taking in every bit of your sweet expressions you make as he ate you out. The sight of your body twitching and the sound of your moans leaving past your lips shakily made him so fucking good.
It felt like you were his only purpose now. He buried his hips to the mattress with his growing erection, a groan leaving his throat and into your pussy which made a pleasurable shiver run up your spine.
His slim and slender hands gently grip on your thighs, pushing them more wider just so he could feast on you again. He couldn't help himself, he's eating you out like as it he hadn't eaten in days. His tounge would pull out, savoring and licking your wet folds as his hand sneaked up to enter two digits into your needy entrance.
"You're so beautiful, y/n... You truly make me feel like in heaven." At this point, Sanji was slurring out words of praises into your clit, the vibration making you shake and grip on the sheets more. You were helpless under his heavenly care, his tounge just felt so, so good. You couldn't help but squeeze your thighs around his head as you reach your peak-your juices went all over Sanji's face and mouth and he lapped it all up as if it's his only source of food.
"Y/n.." He'd mutter, his pupil now in the shape of a heart as he grinded his erection more against the mattress. It wasn't long until he came and released himself in his pants accidentally while he was grinding on the mattress.
Sanji went to his knees in between your legs as you pant heavily from reaching your high. You hear the sound of his belt unbuckling as his hardened cock sprung free, some cum already leaking from his accidental orgasm. He leaned down, kissing your neck lovingly as he whispered in such a desperate tone.
"please, let me love you more."
©lavieverdezoro blog
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blu-ish · 7 months ago
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Shadow’s favorite memory with Sonic is the end of SA2. How Sonic reached out for him despite risking falling with him, how he tried to save him immediately without hesitation and how he grateful he was for it even if Sonic didn’t actually saved him. The fact that he tried is unforgettable to Shadow
How it’s probably Sonic’s least favorite memory with Shadow, how he failed him, how he let Shadow wave him away and watch him die. And just couldn’t reach out to him, Shadow was faster than him and went where Sonic couldn’t follow
They truly are both sides of the same coin omg
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IT PLAUGES MY MIND DUDE
It's something about how the events of SA2 were a mere 48 hours at most. In less then 48 hours these two hedgehogs, who had just met in the worst way possible; Sonic getting framed, Shadow having his mind manipulated and attempting to destroy the world, etc. Had managed to touch each others lives in a way that is just so special to me. (THEY MAKE ME SO ILL SHVSSJHSJSBSJSJ)
Shadows relationship with Sonic, is a unique one. Sonic confuses Shadow the best way. His passion, his willingness to see the best in people, he's practically the definition of a hero. In the little time Shadow has gotten to know Sonic, I full heartly believe in his final moments in super form, he knew that if he was fully unable to keep his promise to Maria by protecting the world. (Even if he did in the end) Then he would protect the one he knew would always do so no matter what. But the fact that sonic tried to save him, probably meant the world to him, because there was someone-- even after everything, everything he did to him and his friends, that cared about him. That wanted him to live.
On the other hand, Sonic for the first time in his life had someone who truly challenged him. Not only in speed and power but in understanding. Shadow just wasn't another guy wanting to work with Eggman. He was many things; a genetically engineered weapon, proof of immortality, a cure, a protector, a little brother to Maria. Someone who never got to experience life on Earth, never got to mourn, to heal. Who never got to figure out who he is, who he was meant to be, who he could be.
The least Sonic could do after Shadow chose to help him save the world was to give him that chance, the chance to start over, and all he had to do was catch him.
But he was waved away.
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mxtxfanatic · 2 months ago
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Lan Sizhui and His Wei-qianbei
Of all the juniors, Lan Sizhui has the closest connection to Wei Wuxian that is actually kept secret until almost the end of the novel. But even when both characters are unaware of their shared history, Lan Sizhui still unconsciously gravitates towards his former A-Die/Xian-gege as a source of comfort and safety:
“Don’t be afraid,” Wei Wuxian said again. “I’m not afraid,” [Lan Sizhui] replied. “Truly?” “Truly.” Lan Sizhui even smiled. “Mo-qianbei, you and Hanguang Jun are really similar.” “Similar?” Wei Wuxian said with surprise. “How are we similar?” He and Lan Wangji were clearly as different as the heavens and the Earth. But Lan Sizhui just smiled, said nothing, and led the remaining people outside. I don’t know either, he thought silently. But you two just feel similar. It feels as though as long as one of you is present, I don’t need to be scared of anything.
—Chapt. 37: Flora V, fanyiyi
The disciples that he had let free could neither run nor stay. On the inside there were the YiLing Patriarch, the Ghost General, and the traitor of the righteous side HanGuang-Jun, while on the outside there were countless walking corpses waiting to be fed. Yet, everything was bright on Lan SiZhui’s side, “Senior Mo... Senior Wei. Are you here to save us? You were not the one who got people to take us here, were you?” Although it was a question, his face was full of complete trust and delight. Wei WuXian felt his heart warm up.
—Chapt. 68: Tenderness, exr
The sight of the two men made Lan SiZhui feel as if he could face anything, no matter how dire or impossible. He gladly responded, “HanGuang-Jun! Senior-Wei! Please hurry over!”
—Chapt. 83: Core Part 5, boat-full-of-lotus-pods
He even goes so far as to question what the juniors have been taught about Wei Wuxian even before he knows that their "Mo-qianbei" is actually the loathsome Yiling Patriarch or that he was once raised by him:
They heard Lan Jingyi interject. “Why are you so angry?” the boy blurted out. “It’s not like Sizhui said Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have been killed. He only said that it’s possible not everyone who practices demonic cultivation is like Xue Yang. Is it necessary to fling things everywhere? I haven’t had a chance to taste that yet...” Jin Ling sneered. “Didn’t he also say ‘the inventor of those methods didn’t necessarily want to use them for evil?’ Who was ‘the inventor of those methods?’ Tell me, who else could it be but Wei Ying! I don’t understand. Isn’t your Gusu Lan Clan also a prominent cultivation clan? Didn’t a lot of your people die at Wei Ying’s hand too? Wasn’t it a headache killing all the walking corpses and all his other scummy followers? Why are you taking such a strange position, Lan Yuan? Based on what you said just then, aren’t you trying to let Wei Ying off the hook?!” Lan Yuan was Lan Sizhui’s birth name. “I��m not trying to let him off the hook at all,” he explained. “I only wanted to propose that, since we don’t know exactly what the circumstances were, we shouldn’t draw any definite conclusions. Before we went to Yi City, didn’t a lot of people claim that Xiao Xingchen Daozhang killed the Yueyang Chang Clan’s Chang Ping in angry vengeance? And how did it turn out in reality?”
—Chapt. 43: Beauty I, fanyiyi
No matter what separated them—be it death, amnesia, or clan disapproval—Lan Sizhui has never truly forgotten the love he feels for the A-Die/Xian-gege of his childhood.
At least, Lan SiZhui couldn’t hold it any longer. With a loud cry, he leaped up. One hand around Wei WuXian and the other around Lan WangJi, he pulled the two into a tight embrace. Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi bumped into each other from the hug. Both of them were surprised. Lan SiZhui buried his head between their shoulders, “HanGuang-Jun, Senior Wei, I... I...” Hearing his muffled voice, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi exchanged a look, only inches apart. They both saw something soft within each other’s eyes. Wei WuXian fixed his mood and put his hand on Lan SiZhui’s back, patting, “Enough, what are you crying for?” Lan SiZhui, “Not crying... Just... I suddenly feel so frustrated, but so happy as well... I do not know how to describe it...” After some silence, Lan WangJi laid his hand onto his back as well and patted. Lan WangJi, “There is no need to describe it then.” Wei WuXian, “That’s right.” Lan SiZhui didn’t say anything. He hugged them even tighter.
—Chapt. 111: Wangxian, exr
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jeonscatalyst · 3 months ago
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I read this from the cult arguments so the reason why they think jikook using Buddy program for enlisting confirms them not being couples is because in south korean military service as you might already know they prohibit the gay sexual intercourse while ON BASE and if you do you face the consequences right? So according to them now that jikook are using the Buddy program by chance IF in future they come out as queer and start dating each other the government is likely to investigate them for using the Buddy program for their advantage, or say they can get investigated for falsification and breaking the law of gay relationship n all during military service and given BTS are Big deal even if jikook come out after many years they will still likely face very serious consequences for breaking the law cause you know how sk is when it comes to BTS like e.g. suga's recent incidents.
So does anyone have a better understanding of this whole act of gay se* + military service and the consequences you face like this law as whole?
Hey anon,
I made this post a while ago about this topic. You can check it out
I’m not sure if you are the same anon who sent this link of this taekooker trying to “prove” why two people in a romantic relationship cannot enlist together but this is the link…….
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My thoughts about enlistment and how it works can be found in the post I linked but just to something about what these screenshots say….
This right here is what I like to call manipulation. This person has a very good knowledge of the system and what article 92-6 actually states but they use their own words to completely twist things. I’m not a lawyer but i’ve watched enough shows to know that people have gotten away with murder or heinous crimes because of loopholes in the written law so I’m pretty sure who ever drafted out military laws must know this so they must have EXPLICITLY written down everything that they didn’t want to avoid any loopholes.
Anon, I’d like you to check out what article 92-6 states and show me anywhere that law criminalizes two people being in a relationship. Is there any place the law talks about punishing two people just because they are gay and are in a relationship? I must have missed it so maybe you can show me if you find it.
This is such a simple thing to understand so I truly don’t get why so many people choose to ignore it.
The military doesn’t criminalize people being in a relationship (atleast not officially) they only have a problem with people committing indecent sexual activity on base. So why on earth would there be consequences if Jimin and Jungkook leave the military and decide to come out at some point later? As long as they didn’t break the law by having anal sex or engaging in anything the law considers indecent sexual activity, they are good. Is there any law that states that two lovers cannot enlist together as buddies? There is literally NONE! Also, this makes no sense because not everyone who in romantic relationships have sex (surprise surprise) and seeing as the military has only mentioned having an issue with sex while on base, then why would they go after people who didn’t commit a crime?
If the South Korean military didn’t want two lovers enlisting together as buddies, they would have boldly written it down. Yes, queer people face some injustice and discrimination in the military and sometimes are deemed unfit for service because of their sexual orientation which is unfortunate and sad but the truth is, Jimin and Jungkook have never come as as queer have they? So officially they are just two normal bandmates and friends who decided to enlist together and even if they do come out later, the military would have to prove that they were a couple while enlisted if they want to have an issue with it (which I doubt they would) and we all know that they wouldn’t be able to prove that Jikook were a couple at the time of enlistment unless they got caught having sex, because guess what, it is possible that they could have only become a couple after their military service. So you see how the whole thing doesn’t even make sense right. If you want to consider that the military might try to punish people for being a couple while enlisted, then there are just too many loopholes in the law. I am not even a lawyer but I can make a very good defense case for anyone whom the military tries to prosecute for this using their own written laws.
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ultravi0lence14 · 11 days ago
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Bring Me To Life
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castiel x fem!reader
1.9k | fluff, szn four cas
summary: who would’ve thought your perfect match would be an angel. though, two unusual people always gravitate towards each other is how dean would describe you and cas.
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angels. they were real. sam and dean were still getting used to the fact that heavenly beings were real. unlike you, who seemed to get strangely attached to a certain angel and pretty quick too.
the winchester brothers had known you for a good four years. yet the person you are around the angel castiel is something they haven’t seen before.
from the moment you met sam and dean, they knew you were shy. a hunter who stayed to knowledge and the books instead of fighting in the field, you were always a very reserved person. at the start, you barely talked to sam, only talking to dean when he addressed you first; and yet, years later, you three were now like pea’s in a pod.
well, kinda.
as time went on, you started to view sam and dean as family. you viewed the two as your older brothers, and vice versa. the three of you got along very well, but that didn’t stop them from noticing how there were somethings you kept to yourself and didn’t share with a lot of people.
everyone has their own quirks. dean and his obsession with the wild west, sam and his true crime podcast’s. you, on the other hand, just had your own plethora of quirks. . . and a lot of them.
you were your own person, sam and dean never questioned that. it was sometimes just hard to communicate with you. being very shy, you usually became awkward when someone asked you about your interests. it wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy talking about them. the fact was that you felt as though you got too carried away, and you believed that people either didn’t care that much or would just get way too weirded out.
sam had told you many times that him and his brother weren’t judgy people, and that you could talk to them about anything. dean even comforted you in the fact that he’s basically seen all the people of america, so you couldn’t be that bad.
still, you kept to yourself, hidden behind your books and the reading glasses that were always perched on your nose. that was until castiel came along. dean had just returned from hell, and he was trying to figure out what possibly could’ve dragged him out of the fiery pits. you all learned it was a man named castiel, and when dean said him and bobby were going to go set a trap for him, you couldn’t help but join.
you were entranced by him at first, no weapon — not even the demon blade, could knock him down. when he proclaimed that he was an angel of the lord, you almost dislocated your jaw.
a real life angel, you couldn’t believe it. you spent most of your time helping sam and dean decipher what angels truly were, while also helping with lilith and the seals to unleash lucifer. around this time, that was when cas started hanging around more.
he too wanted to keep lucifer tucked away nicely in whatever depth of hell they left him in. so with that, dean and sam tasked him to stay with you and help in whatever way possible.
it was awkward at first. he was an angel for crying out loud, you wouldn’t know what to say even if he was a normal guy. castiel was just shifty all around. he was new to this world, only being down from heaven a handful of times meant he didn’t really understand the logistics of earth and humans. that was how the two of you started your bond.
cas was just curious all around, and with his mountain loads of questions, you couldn’t help but break down your walls a little and help the poor guy understand. anything he was curious about, he’d ask. why dean didn’t like when he got really close to him. what did dean’s joke’s mean and why didn’t he understand them at first. honestly, most of his questions were about dean, but that was just because the hunter was unique in his own.
sometime around the month mark, castiel’s company started to become somewhat of a comfort to you. slowly but surely, you started to break free from your shell and express who you were behind closed doors. there were no halts in your speech or quick thinking before you said anything too weird. castiel didn’t seem to mind, and it was almost as though he was just as similar to you then anyone could’ve thought of.
when sam and dean came back to their motel room after a hunt, the expected to walk in and see you hunched over a table with your nose in a book. though they were greatly surprised when they saw you and castiel, angel of the lord, sitting across from each other on one of the beds. you were teaching the angel how to play rock, paper, scissors, and dean swore he never saw that look in your eyes before.
oh the look of love. you swore to yourself that after your last heartbreak you’d swear off any man who tried to get close to you. but this was castiel, and technically, he was an angel. so in all truth he wasn’t fully human.
as your time spent alone with cas doubled, your feelings for him grew stronger. which led to the night you leaped from your seat at the motel table and pressed your lips to his.
castiel was shocked at first. he was getting used to this whole human emotion thing, and he didn’t know how to react. he liked you as well, very much indeed. the angel just didn’t know what any of it meant. so with a wide eyed stare and a passive look passive over his face, castiel disappeared with a flap of his wings and a solemn look on your face to follow it up.
dean nearly crapped himself as the angel appeared behind him, spewing nonsense about a kiss and how he felt a slew of weird tingly feelings in his abdomen and how he wanted to know how to fix it.
castiel stared in confusion as dean laughed, clapping his hand on the angels back and informing him that you had a crush. dean made sure to tell cas that if a girl kisses you, there’s a very high likelihood she likes you as well. he also made sure to tell the celestial being that leaving her afterwards without a word was not the best idea.
in a fury of flapped wings and spurred thanks, castiel was back in the motel room and looking at your slumped figure. there were tears in your eyes, the rejection still seeping into your bones. though, you were greatly surprised when cas appeared behind you and tightly gripped your face, kissing you back so passionately you felt your knees buckle.
afterwards he made sure to wipe your tears, apologizing profoundly and making sure there was not another sad bone in your body. the rest of the night was spent in relaxation, cas sitting with his back against the headboard, you resting with your head in his lap. his fingers were making their way through your hair, listening intently as you raved on about whatever came to your mind.
now that you two were openly together, sam and dean were trying their best to become accustomed to castiel’s openly affectionate behaviour.
the man couldn’t be more than two feet away from you. always by your side with a hand on you at all times. whether it be holding your hand or delicately resting on your shoulder. fingers connecting the birth marks on your arm or delicately rubbing your back, castiel’s presence was now intwined with yours.
the two winchester men also noticed how protective he was of you. already shy as it is, cas made sure that at any moment you were comfortable with your surroundings. dean still remembers the time the angel threw a deadly punch at a guy in the middle of a bar. the guy’s harassment towards you was constant, and dean was going to alert sam so they could deal with it themselves if it wasn’t for castiel appearing out of thin air and stalking through the crowd.
he was always shooting deadly looks to people who berated or ridiculed you. one time even threatening a witness with a very deadly smiting if she didn’t stop poking fun at your subtle anxious stutter. cas was basically your saving grace, and you felt that with him around, he brought you back to life. metaphorically and well, sometimes literally.
there have been countless occasions where the angel heals both the winchesters when it comes to gnarly or life threatening injuries. though when it comes to you, cas has a tendency to get either more stressed or more vengeful.
the case three months back in minnesota was when he got so stressed dean almost swerved off the road from all his demands. a nasty scratch from a wendigo left you bleeding out and almost limp in the angels arms. while sam and dean sat up front and tried to get you to a hospital as fast as possible, cas was in the backseat, your head in his lap, trying not to have a nuclear level panic attack.
“darling, oh god you’re gonna be okay. i’m healing you as best as i can my love i swear.” the soft whimpers leaving your lips wasn’t helping his stress, and a couple of tears even slipped down his cheek as you groaned in pain and kept mumbling about how much your body ached.
you ended up recovering well, only spending a day or so in the hospital and going on your merry way. though castiel didn’t leave your side for the next month, and you had to explain to him what boundaries were when he tried to follow you to the bathroom.
“cas, nobody is gonna hurt me on the toilet.”
“dean told me stuff can jump out of the toilet bowl! and what if someone breaks in through the window? i don’t know how fast i can knock down the door, angel.”
angel. that’s what you were to him. an angel was a pure soul created by God himself, and castiel believed that you were the best out of all his father’s creations. the most beautiful in the world.
that’s why, on a case in delaware, cas found himself beating a demon half to death after it had the audacity to fling you against the room. the brute force had you falling through a table, a pained gasp leaving your lips just as castiel saw red. sam and dean just stood by your side, watching as what they thought was a righteous angel from heaven beat the living hell out of a demon.
the pun wrote itself, and dean found himself chuckling to himself as the forceful blows of castiel’s fists broke through the air.
“how dare you hurt her, you abomination! how dare you even look at her? i’m going to make you wish you never left the rotted depths of hell you probably crawled out of.” his next words were mumbled, but the brothers then realized how tight yours and castiel’s bond was.
he just finished pummelling some demon to death for you, looking the most terrifying sam and dean have ever seen. yet, after he was done, he rushed over to you and held your face so delicately, dean swore that the angel believed you were going to break.
castiel really had brought you to life, and sam and dean were glad that you two found each other.
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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 1 year ago
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Dating WayV feels like…
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Kun
secure
secure like a comforting hug after a long day. like coming home knowing that you are in a safe space. secure knowing that there is not any room for judgement. secure knowing that there is room for nothing but love and adoration in your relationship. secure knowing that you always have someone there to cheer you on. like knowing that he truly would do anything for you, anything to make you happy. secure like a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through a sea of people. secure knowing that there will always be someone there to support you through everything.
Ten
familiar
familiar like you two have known each other forever. familiar like the smell of your favorite foods from your childhood that he ordered for you after a hard day. familiar like the sensation of laughing too hard with your best friend. familiar like your favorite candle burning as the two of you watch a movie together. familiar like coming home to open arms, and a loving smile. familiar like lazy days spend together talking about anything and everything, taking every opportunity the two of you have to learn all that you can about each other. familiar like the love you have desired for your entire life, finally coming to life.
Winwin
gentle
gentle like sweet forehead kisses for no reason in particular. gentle like him tracing your hand absent mindlessly, while deep in conversation. gentle like the sound of a rain shower against the window, as the two of you share a blanket, in each others warm embrace. gentle like the snowfall getting caught in your hair, as he looks at you as if you are the most beautiful creation on this earth. gentle as he realized he loves you, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, watching you dance around to the music that's playing. gentle as he cups your cheeks and looks deep into your eyes, knowing that he would do anything for you.
Xiaojun
comfort
comfort like the smell of fresh cookies baking in the oven. comfort like watching the stars in each others embrace, listening to the rhythm if his heart beat. comfort like coming home to him trying to cook your favorite meal, but failing. comfort like laughing together. like enjoying a movie together as he grabs your hand and pulls you closer to him. comfort like knowing that he will never judge you, and him knowing that you would never judge him. comfort like knowing you have found a best friend and lover within the same person.
Hendery
lighthearted
lighthearted like spontaneous dates with no particular plan in mind. lighthearted like laughing together about anything and everything. lighthearted as he grabs your hand to drag you to the next destination, so that he makes sure he won't lose you. lighthearted like throwing a random dance party for just the two of you. even dancing around in public without a care in the world. lighthearted as even in public, it seems like it is simply only the two of you in the entire world. lighthearted like kisses all over your face, as he listens to you giggle, his most favorite sound in the world. lighthearted when he realizes he loves you after the two of you embarrass yourselves in public, and simply laugh together without a care in the world.
Yangyang
exciting
exciting like running into each others embrace after he returns from tour. exciting like waking up with a full day of different activities planned. excited like the first date, when the butterflies are fluttering, and the nerves are increasing. exciting like riding a roller coaster. exciting like never knowing what the day with him will hold, as he always keeps you on your toes. exciting like enjoying each others embrace, knowing how each other feels, simply by your beating hearts. exciting like knowing you have found the love you have always dreamed of. exciting like knowing that there is no another person who could understand you the way he does. exciting like the first true love you find, and knowing it will be the last as well.
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photo1030 · 11 months ago
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Leather and Lace - Chapter 20: All The Little Things 
Summary: Arthur takes note of all the little things you do for him and tries to decide if he’s ready to take your relationship to the next level. 
Warning: 18+ please. Minors - DNI; NSFW - This one is a bit longer than I planned, sorry!
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*This beautiful images comes from the always stunning @foundynnel
*Beta-read by the wonderfully supportive @readingcoco (Thank you for herding in my thoughts, my friend!)
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*I tagged people who expressed interest in the continued story. If you’d like to be added or removed, please let me know. There are a few that would not let me link, so I apologize if this doesn’t ping some people. 
It’s been a few weeks since you and Arthur proclaimed your affections for each other and you have quickly settled into a comfortable routine. With Arthur being a senior member of the gang, and with you as his woman, you feel that you need to step up and contribute more to the Van Der Linde Gang. And Dutch and Ms. Grimshaw couldn’t be more thrilled. 
The gang must always come first - that is what Arthur has instilled in you and it’s what you have come to adopt as your own adage too. You feel that same sense of belonging and responsibility for these people and finally begin to truly understand Arthur’s unrelenting loyalty to them. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and as long as the gang does well, the people within it will prosper. 
You are quickly becoming more embedded into this rag-tag group than you had ever thought you would. It’s not just a group of random individuals or a place for you to hide for safety, they are your family now, just as they are Arthur’s. These are the people who comfort you when you need it, and protect you as one of their own. They laugh with you; they yell and stomp angrily with you. You affectionately think of them and pick-up little gifts that will make their day, and you are rewarded with their love and appreciation in return. This is what Arthur is devoutly devoted to, this sense of belonging. For this is much more than a gang of lawbreakers. These people chose each other, which is a bond tighter than most blood relatives. 
The sun is just climbing into its zenith in the autumn sky, desperately trying to break its radiant beams through the gray, overcast clouds to shine down upon the earth below. You and Tilly rumble into camp on a wagon, having just come back from town with a load full of supplies. Mr. Pearson greets you as the old wooden vehicle creaks to a halt. He waddles over and peers his chubby face over the side. The cook is thrilled, seeing an extra crate of potatoes, two more tins of lard and a sack of grain more than he expected you to return with. 
“I guess battin’ those eyelashes of yours at the store owner goes a lot further than I thought,” the portly man teases you as he grabs some of the items from the back of the wagon. 
You beam back at him with a smile of pride as you hike up your skirt into your hand and climb down from the wagon seat. “What is it they say? ‘Catch more flies with honey than vinegar?’”, you hum.
“Well, don’t be surprised if I start sending you out more often, then. We’ll probably get further along with your pretty face than mine.” Pearson’s round figure vibrates slightly with the laughter of his own joke.
“Just let me know what you need, I’ll be happy to help.” Suddenly you halt dead in your tracks, realizing that you’ve just repeated one of Arthur’s sayings. Tilly is right:  you and Arthur are already starting to act like an old married couple. The phrase causes you to shake your head before moving back to the wagon to grab more of the items to unpack.
You pick up one of the smaller boxes and turn to head over to the tables where the men lazily sit about, discussing random topics and enjoying a brief moment of peace and quiet. Arthur and Hosea sit, each relaxing with a cigarette in hand, listening to Dutch carry on about something that he's read recently. He’s been obsessed with “An American Eden” by Evelyn Miller lately and takes it upon himself to “preach its teachings”, as it were, to whomever is within the sound of his voice to hear it. The small group of men currently around him are not what you’d call “high-brow” and his philosophy lessons tends to fall on deaf ears sometimes. 
“Hello, boys!” you sing as you saunter over, being met with a collection of head-nods and grins of acknowledgement.
As you grab their attention, you proceed to hand-out a few thoughtful extras that you pilfered in town. You toss a package of new guitar strings to Javier who snatches them out of the air with one of his nimble hands. 
“Gracias, mi amor!” he beams happily as he examines the small bundle in his hands. “Where did you come across these?”
“Don’t you worry about it. I have my ways,” you smirk with an accompanying wink.
You reach over to hand a new book to Hosea with a smile, and offer a premium cigar to Dutch, who gratefully accepts your gift with appreciative eyes. Placing the empty box on the table, you look over at Arthur. “Oh, and by the way, Arthur, I think I saw that jack-rabbit you’re chasing in town today.”
Arthur’s head perks up right away. “The Petersen bounty?”
“Yeah. He was over by the brothel. By the looks of it, he’ll be holed up there for a while,” you say nonchalantly as you pull an apple out of your skirt pocket and rub its red skin against your sleeve before biting into the crisp, juicy fruit. 
“Well shit, why are you just telling me this now?” Arthur huffs impatiently as he quickly gets up and starts moving towards the horses.
“Like I said, he’s in no hurry.” You shrug. “Do I get a finder’s fee for my part?” you call after him with a grin as you watch him pull Buck from the hitching posts. 
Arthur just waves you off as he slides his dusty boot into the stirrup and hastily slings up into Buck’s saddle, taking off for town. 
—---------------------------------------------------
The flames of the evening’s campfire pop and crackle softly as they roll and crawl over the slightly damp wood. The aroma of heady oak permeates the air and the smoky plumes rise and dance up towards the night sky. You and Arthur sit alone on the ground by the fire, leaning back against a log with a blanket wrapped over your legs. The night is quiet as the stars sparkle overhead. Most people are playing cards at one of the tables, or have drifted off to their tents for the evening. 
The fire offers its warmth and golden glow, creating a soft ambiance. Arthur pulls you in for a gentle, absentminded kiss, and you find yourselves wholly content with each other, forgetting that the rest of the world exists as lovers often do. Your lips run languidly, with no urgency or demand as if working of their own accord. You start to gently rake your fingers across Arthur’s chest, slowly flexing to curl around the worn fabric of his faded brown shirt and occasionally reaching up to caress along his neck and chin. The feeling of his skin radiates through your fingertips and down into the palm of your soft hand. Eyes rolling shut, you smile into his mouth in blissful happiness as his arms lovingly and protectively envelop you. 
Arthur’s strong hand sits on your hip, lightly grasping at the supple flesh hidden under the fabric of your skirt. He loves the feeling of your skin on his, it doesn’t matter what the scenario is. Whether it’s his fingers grazing yours when he hands you a cup of fresh-brewed coffee, or when his hips are pounding into yours in the throws of passion, or even just as it is now when the softest of kisses land upon his chapped lips: the feeling of you against him is like electricity pulsing throughout his entire body, bringing him to life, just like that weird story by Mary Shelley that you read to him.  
It’s a rare thing for the two of you to be left alone in camp like this. Usually you have to hide away if you want any sort of privacy. But truth be told, the rest of the gang is respectfully giving the two of you some space. It’s nice not having a bitter and angry Arthur around all of the time. Ever since you publicly claimed him in the middle of camp as yours, he hasn’t been as snarky or barking at people like he usually does. And of course, people will do anything for you. The demands of daytime chores and responsibilities are one thing, but the calm evenings are left for you two. Sure, not every night is as peaceful as this, so you revel in the rare moment of solitude when the two of you can get it. 
Arthur’s lips eventually part from yours to leave a trail of delicate kisses under your jaw and down your neck, hitting that favorite spot of his. The place behind your ear is where the softest skin he has found on your body is hidden. That spot always tastes so heavenly to him and draws that little breathless noise from you that drives him wild. 
Arthur’s nose buries into your hair, picking up the floral notes of the soap you use to wash it with. You giggle and nuzzle him as your hands come up to cradle his head, your fingers entwined into the locks of his hair, hugging him to you as your nose wrinkles in merriment when his beard stubble delightfully tickles your sensitive skin. 
And suddenly, as you roll your body closer into his, before you can even think twice about it, the words just float from your lips like a dandelion seed being carried on a summer breeze. 
“I love you, Arthur.” Your voice is a breathless sigh of utter contentment, a melody singing through the air.
You haven’t seen his face yet, but feel his movements halt as his whole body goes rigid against you. Arthur slowly pulls his face from your neck and looks at you, speechless, with shocked and confused eyes, face flushed a shade of scarlet to rival the fire in front of you.
But you quickly place your fingers over his lips as if to hush any sort of protest he may have. “Now before you go crazy, Arthur, you don’t have to say it back. I simply said it because I wanted to, because it felt right just now.” You give him a soft and reassuring smile, amused by his reaction as he continues to stare at you, blinking quietly. You can tell he wants to say something in return, but can’t find the words as his mouth begins to work, but no sound comes out. 
“It’s okay, Arthur,” you giggle. “Really. I didn’t tell you that to hear it back. I just wanted to make sure you know it. And you can say it if, and when, you’re ready.”
You pause to give him a moment to answer, to make sure he understands that you have no demand of him, but you can see that he is still troubled and finding it hard to articulate what he needs to say. You honestly do not need him to say it back to you. How he treats you is how he feels about you, regardless of words stated or not. Words are used to manipulate people. His actions show you everything you need to know. So thankfully, you put him out of his misery by leaning over to kiss the corner of his mouth as he continues to look at you dumbstruck.
“Don’t get too worked up over it, Arthur.” You pat his cheek affectionately as a look of empathy sits upon your face. “I don’t need you having a heart attack over it. Like I said, you don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know where my heart lies.” 
Arthur’s forehead creases as he watches you stand up, brushing the dried leaves out of your skirt before reaching down for your blanket. You bend over to catch his scarred chin in your fingertips. “Goodnight, Arthur,” you whisper and kiss him again. You give him an impish little grin before heading over to your tent for the night. 
You leave Arthur still sitting speechless on the ground, a troubled look settled upon his handsome face as he watches your lovely form fade into the darkness of night before disappearing from view altogether as you close your tent. 
—-----------------------------------------------------
In the days that follow, Dutch announces that he is going to move the camp again. You are all sitting around the fire when he proceeds with an impassioned speech about moving south just outside of a town called Blackwater. 
You watch Dutch as he presents himself to the group, noting how he carries himself in front of others. He is charismatic and passionate, a natural-born leader. Since you have known the dark-haired devil, he has always had a dramatic and commanding presence, drawing his people to him with his idealism and wit. 
You find it amusing how Dutch’s boldness and optimism is a perfect compliment to Hosea’s skeptical wisdom. The two of them together make quite the dynamic duo, two sides of the same coin. Sometimes you wonder at the true nature of their relationship. Are they “brothers”, just as Arthur and John are, or is there more there, smoldering under the surface like hot coals left after a raging fire has burned down? Both men had their lady-loves in their lives, and both were left devastated when these sparks of light were extinguished in their otherwise dark lives. But you can’t help but wonder if there was ever more to Dutch and Hosea’s relationship than meets the eye. The “curious couple and their unruly sons.” The very idea of it makes you regard them with a softer spot in your heart.
The gang is preparing to go to work and the new location has some hot tips emanating from it. The camp is abuzz with packing and planning with everyone sprinting about and working on their assigned tasks. Arthur and Hosea are discussing a real estate tip around West Elizabeth, while Micah and Dutch have their own plan…something about a ferry boat. 
Arthur and Hosea wander to sit at one of the campfires, away from distractions, and are busy discussing their tip and planning for the new move when Hosea casually asks Arthur about you.
“So…how’s things going with (Y/N)?” He gives Arthur a sly smile with that twinkle in his eye. Hosea has been silently observing the budding courtship from the beginning, carefully watching for any signs of discord that would need to be nipped in the bud before trouble brews. 
A slight pink dusts Arthur’s face at the older man’s inquiry, visible even under his week-old beard. A sheepish little grin tugs at the corner of his mouth as he purses his lips in thought. 
“Have you ever wanted to listen to every word someone says, even about the smallest thing in the world just so you can see their face light up and hear their voice?” 
Hosea gives a light-hearted chuckle as he brings his cigarette to his wrinkled lips. “Yeah, that girl broke down those walls of yours without you even noticing she was doin’ it, didn’t she?”
But the smile slowly drips from Arthur’s face as a dark cloud settles over his features. A deep and sad sigh pushes its way from his broad chest under his worn beige jacket. His eyes relax their focus and stray to look out over the camp as he absentmindedly chews on his bottom lip. Hosea notices the change in mood and immediately fears the worst. 
“Ah, shit, what did you do?” accuses the old man in disappointment.
“Nothing!” Arthur counters defensively as his face snaps back to Hosea’s attention. But he is met with the clever fox’s skeptical scowl. Arthur hesitates to share what’s on his mind, afraid that once he verbalizes the phrase again, it will become all too real. 
“She…she told me that she loves me,” Arthur admits quietly, before letting his gaze float to the worn leather of his boots, his toe poking at the grass.
Like a switch has been pulled, Hosea’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Well, that’s great news, my boy!” He claps Arthur on the shoulder in congratulations. “Although I could’ve told you that after the first week she was here with us.” But when Arthur doesn't return his friend’s enthusiasm, Hosea’s smile quickly turns down again in confusion, eying him up cautiously. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know.”
“What, are you tellin’ me that you don’t love her?” Hosea asks incredulously, his face drawing up in disbelief. 
“No, I wasn’t sayin’ that at all,” pouts Arthur. “‘Cause I do,” he says with a slight, yet definitive nod. The man fidgets slightly, his hands suddenly sweaty and shaky as he finally admits outloud what he’s known internally for awhile. A short, yet sharp exhale escapes him, as the statement is now out there, exposing his fragile heart for the first time in a long while. 
“Well, then I fail to see the problem,” presses Hosea with a flippant wave of his hand in exasperation.
Arthur fidgets with the cigarette in his fingers, slowly rolling it between his thumb and index finger. “What if she realizes that she doesn’t? Love me, I mean?” He catches Hosea’s eye. “What if she wakes up one mornin’ and decides she don’t want me no more?” He turns his gaze outward, focusing on nothing again. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
Arthur cringes when he hears his own voice whining about being loved, bitching about the same thing he said to Marston a few weeks ago. Yes, it’s sooo horrible to have a wonderful woman love me. He thinks sarcastically. God, I’m pathetic.
“I suppose I see your point.” Hosea nods his head in understanding, as Arthur’s worry becomes all too clear. “So what if she does one day? Hmm?” The old man waves his hand dismissively in the air. “But, what if it turns out that (Y/N) wants to be with you forever?” Hosea squints at Arthur. “Don't you think she’s worth the gamble?”
Arthur turns his pained eyes back to his old friend. “I can’t go through that again, Hosea. I just…I can’t do it.” He leans out on his elbows onto his thighs, head swimming with ever-present self-doubt, coupled with the desperate yearning for the love and acceptance he’s craved since he was a child. 
“Arthur, if (Y/N) tells you she loves you, you better believe her.” Hosea points his weathered, crooked finger at Arthur, poking him in the chest. “Don’t be afraid to start over. You may like your new story better this time around. (Y/N) ain’t like that other one,” he grumbles, his jaw clenching slightly without even needing to mention Mary by name. 
“No, I suppose you’re right. She surely ain’t.” Arthur sits quietly for a moment, mulling over Hosea’s words. Hosea always has a way of getting him to see reason, always had since Arthur was a kid. Hosea could quiet his mind with just the simplest words. Arthur takes another deep drag of his cigarette before that roguish little grin pops up again. “You know…if I somehow manage not to screw this up, Hosea…I’m gonna marry her.”
The admission makes the old man’s heart almost burst with happiness as he huffs out a laugh and pats Arthur’s shoulder again in approval. “God willing, I’ll live long enough to see that.”
The two men share a soft chuckle between them. They have been through so much together to get to this point in their lives and the idea of hope and love in the future gives them a feeling of contentment that is rare for their kind of life.
Arthur wants you, of that, there is no doubt. After Mary and Eliza, ‘love’ was just a word to Arthur, some meaningless string of letters that he’d hear from Mary-Beth as she read her silly stories. Four little characters that created an empty and almost cold feeling for him. L.O.V.E
But now, the word has taken a whole new form in you. You are his definition of desire. Arthur never knew how engulfing the flames of love could be until now, until you uttered those three simple little words to him. You are the only thing that could have brought him back to life with your hands, your lips, your soul. Arthur would journey to the ends of the earth to keep you in his life. He misses you from the moment you separate. All he knows is that nothing else makes as much sense to him as loving you. This is what it feels like to fall and not know, or care, where you land. 
You have no idea the depth of how you affect Arthur, how you calm the chaos in his head and still the tornado of thoughts that threaten his sanity. When he holds you in his arms, you become the eye of his storm, the center that is safe while the gale rages wildly around him. 
When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to each other. The very presence that is felt through a hand held close, a voice heard drifting into one’s ear, or even that slightest smile that you know is only for you. Souls do not have clocks or calendars; they do not function with the idea of time or distance. Devoted souls only know it feels right once they have found each other. Like a magnet to steel, beloved hearts will always be drawn to each other with that force of nature that is undeniable. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------
“Uh oh”, whispers Abigail. Her brunette head pops up as she watches with trepidation from where you both pack supplies into one of the wagons. 
You lift your head to follow her sightline and see Micah and Arthur arguing again. The two of them have been at it for the last few days as the plans to move out of the area are beginning to be set into motion. You wonder how Dutch could put his trust in two men who are so drastically different. It follows suit that Micah will run his mouth with Arthur getting a few verbal, sarcastic jabs in here and there. But it usually ends with Arthur simply towering over the much smaller man until he shrinks down into submission in fear of an iron fist landing into that filthy mouth of his. 
This latest fight seems to be in regards to the competing jobs which have been planned for once you all move down towards Blackwater. Arthur wants nothing to do with this ferry job that Micah is pushing, citing it to be reckless and overreaching. The gang has been in the law’s cross-hairs for some time now and he and Hosea both think sticking to smaller, more reliable jobs is best right now. But Micah has been pitching a more grandiose scheme, arguing that the gang needs to strike bold and quick, garnering as much money as you can so you can start to move away from the civilization that is slowly strangling the gang. Unfortunately for Arthur, Micah seems to be like an earworm, burrowing into Dutch’s brain and playing on his already inflated ego.
You and Abigail observe with baited breath to see how far this current argument will go. But it appears Micah is not backing down this time, continuing to push Arthur to the limits of his patience. Suddenly, in a bold move of newfound courage, Micah steps up right in Arthur’s face, almost nose to nose. The cool autumn air is sucked sharply into your lungs as you gasp and your whole body freezes in apprehension, adrenaline like a knife suddenly thrown into your belly. 
“(Y/N)…” Abigail warns, placing her hand on your forearm. But you are already ahead of her, quick to stride over to the feuding men. As you get closer, a small group begins to gather as the yelling continues to escalate. 
“I’d take a step back and reconsider myself if I were you, Micah,” John smirks with a half-hearted warning from where he sits off to the side, sharpening his knife. John knows full-well that it is only a matter of time before this gets physical, as Arthur has little patience. He has seen Arthur pummel men into a pulp for less offensive actions. But truth be told, John would love to see Micah get his ass beat by Arthur. Hell, he’d even consider paying for it. 
Arthur isn’t saying much but you can tell by the heaving of his chest and the scowl etched into his face that he’s a bomb seconds away from exploding. His broad shoulders set hard as stone as Arthur stands even straighter, towering over Micah. His large hands slowly curl into themselves, fists clenched tight like boulders at the end of his pulsing forearms.
Carefully, you approach the two men from the side, watching them closely and trying to gauge how much time you have before Arthur’s fuse burns to the end of the powder-keg. The tension in the air builds uncomfortably, causing a knot to settle in your stomach. 
“Arthur?'' You call his name softly, trying not to startle him. You tilt your head to look up into his face, trying to catch his attention, but Arthur’s icy stare is trained only on Micah. But then you notice that Micah’s hand is hovering at his side, fingers flexing over his gun in its holster. 
This has now elevated to a precarious situation that needs to be diffused quickly and delicately. You don’t understand why no one else is stepping in to break this up, but assume it’s probably to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Out of everyone in the gang, these are probably the two men that you absolutely would not want to tangle with. 
Dutch, conveniently, is not around for this show, which may be why Micah is suddenly so bold to openly challenge Arthur like this. While he likes showing off for Dutch, Micah knows he can push the envelope when the leader of the gang is not around, as if trying to insert himself into that coveted role. Over Arthur’s dead body, that is. 
When Arthur still doesn’t answer you, you inch even closer. Carefully, your arm lifts and moves fluidly across Arthur’s chest to lay your hand against his cheek. You calmly say his name again, “Arthur.” 
The simple act cuts to the outlaw instantly as he blinks out of his angry trance and turns to look at you, confused as if he hadn’t even noticed you were standing there. 
Once you catch his attention, you offer Arthur the softest of smiles, your eyes bright and sparkling, distracting him from the weasel that is his ire at the moment.
“Come with me, please.” Your request is quiet yet authoritative.
“What for?!” he snaps, the fury radiating off of him as you can feel how his whole body is flexed and rigid.
A slow and deep exhale emanates from you as you intensely hold his gaze. “Would you rather go for a walk with me..alone…by the river where it’s peaceful and quiet? Or sit here and argue with Micah Bell?” 
You can see Arthur’s mind trying to process your words, his anger and frustration wrestling with your simple logic.
 “Fine,” he barks, not really directing his venom at you.
Arthur reluctantly lets you snake your arm around his and turn him away from Micah. It’s like trying to pull a tree out of the ground with your bare hands. But Micah will not be dismissed so easily. His eyes narrow as he stares you down, just as you begin to maneuver Arthur away. 
“Oh sure, run and hide behind a skirt!" Micah teases. “Pretty damn sad, Morgan!”
“Shut your damn mouth, Micah, or I will shut it for you. Permanently!” Arthur’s voice booms through the camp as his finger points in Micah’s direction to accent his point. Arthur’s eyes lock coldly with Micah’s as he cranes his neck to shoot Micah one last heated glare before he continues to walk away with you.
“Come on, you,” you delicately chide Arthur, your arm and hands tightening around his bicep just a bit more, eager to get the two of them separated as fast as you can. 
Behind you, Micah stands pouting as the two of you walk away. A pain clicks in his chest as he watches how you handle Arthur. He sucks his lip between his jagged teeth, jaw clamping down on the tender skin. He’s irritated to no end with Arthur, but even more so, with your infatuation with the man. A pang of jealousy cuts deep into Micah as his fists clench open and closed as they still hover over his holster at his side.
“Micah’s got a point. Looks like Arthur’s gone soft on us,” Bill snarks as he stands with his thumbs hanging on his gunbelt.
“I’d like to see you tell him that to his face, Bill,” John quips. 
“Mock all you want, gentlemen,” adds Javier, waving his hand towards Micah and Bill. “But the fact of the matter is, that man is taking that woman to bed tonight.” And he points in your direction. “You two have fun all by yourselves in your tents later.”
“Shut up, Javier,” mumbles Bill. But Micah only stands in angry silence before spinning on his heels and heading off in a huff to get a whiskey bottle from one of the supply wagons to sulk.
The wind kicks up a bit, biting at your cheeks as you walk down the path out of the camp. Arthur is heatedly silent as you walk. It is little wonder to you why so many find him so intimidating and fearsome. 
Passing by the hitching posts, your gray Gypsy gets antsy, whinnying and stomping the ground in a tantrum at the possibility of being left behind. “Ugh, are you acting ornery today, too?” you huff as if scolding a child. “Alright, come on. You can come along, too.” You quickly grab Blue to follow, as he’s been pent up quite a bit lately and is itching to move about. 
You lead Arthur, with your horse in tow, as the path takes you down to the river’s edge. The soft lapping of the water against the sandy edge of the bank offers a calm and welcomed change of scenery. And it is here that you turn Arthur loose, letting him vent loudly, while you simply agree with everything he says, replying occasionally with “I know” and “I get it”. 
“Goddamn fool! Don’t know his ass from a hole in the ground!” shouts Arthur, waving his arms around.
“I know,” you reply calmly as you rub your hand along Blue’s nose and face. The horse nickers softly and nudges into you, like a cat purring in your hands as you watch Arthur pace back and forth in frustration like a wild animal in a cage. 
“And Dutch is gonna go along with it?! Just like that?” He flashes his intense blue eyes at you. 
“I know, it’s crazy,” you shake your head at him.
“Are they even thinkin’ ‘bout the rest o’ us?”
You just shrug. “I don’t get it, either,” you say calmly.
Arthur momentarily stops in his ranting and looks at you, finally taking a moment to breathe. Why you are not as heated as he is is beyond him. “Is that all you’re gonna say?” 
“Well, I figured I’d let you carry-on and wear yourself out and when it’s my turn to yell, you just point and then I’ll go.” You cross your arms over your chest and give him a little smirk. 
But Arthur’s face holds anything but amusement, as he firmly plants his hands on his hips in frustration. “I ain't in the mood for jokes, (Y/N),” he grits out slowly. 
A grin creeps its way across your face. “I bet I could get you to laugh.” 
“I doubt it,” he grumbles with a slight eye roll.
Squinting slightly in challenge with a teasing look, you walk over to him, placing your hands on his ribs before letting them slowly drift down to his waist. He raises an eyebrow at you but is quickly disappointed when your hands divert from his waistline to reach into his satchel and dig around until you pull out his leather gloves. Confused, Arthur’s eyes follow you as you saunter over to Blue and step up towards his great head, stopping to place each glove over one of the horse’s ears. As your horse twitches his ears, the gloves appear to be hands waving back and forth at you. 
“Huh…Huh?” You point at Blue, a huge grin erupting over your face, clearly pleased with yourself and your childish little distraction. 
Arthur just stares at you blankly, totally taken aback at your adolescent behavior. “You’re ridiculous,” he snorts with an eye roll to the heavens.
“Oh, come on, that’s funny and you know it!” you snicker, hugging Blue’s neck affectionately. 
Arthur rolls his eyes skyward once more, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head at your nonsense as he finally ambles over to you. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” he huffs. 
Knowing he’s been beaten, Arthur sighs with resignation, wrapping you up against his barrel chest and bear-hugging you tightly. Your glittering laugh gets muffled by his chest as your arms hook under his to return his embrace. Arthur pulls back for a moment, collecting your happy little face into his giant hands, and looks down at you. But all he can do is shake his head once more before hugging you again, placing his chin atop of your head. 
Amazingly, you were right: he has forgotten all about Micah Bell. 
Later, after you’ve gotten Arthur to calm down enough to safely be around other people again, the two of you are tucked away in his tent. He sits on the cot, scribbling something in his journal, as you stand in front of his shaving mirror, unpinning your hair and getting ready to retire for the evening. 
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I found something for you!” Your face lights up with excitement as you spin around back to his table and pick up one of the items sitting there. You eagerly shove a small aluminum tin into his face, hardly able to contain yourself. Arthur peers inside, curious what it is that has you so worked up. 
“Cherries?” he questions, surprised to see the little jeweled fruit inside. 
“Yeah! I found a cherry tree that the birds hadn’t gotten into yet, so I picked some for you. I remember you telling me that your mother used to make cherry cobbler for you as a kid. So I was going to try and make you some.” You look down at the tin of deep red fruit, shaking it a bit and watching them roll about. “I’ll have to mix these with some that we’ve jarred up, so it probably won’t be as good as hers,” you admit, mouth twisting a bit in disappointment, “but we’ll see.” You look back at him with a simple smile and shrug before turning to set the tin back down on the table. 
Arthur stares at you, thinking back to the other night at the fire when you whispered those lovely little words to him. His mind rolls over how you treat him, how you care for him, how you’ve made him your focus like no one ever has before. 
“Hey, you”, he mutters softly. 
You lift your face back to him, eyebrows arched awaiting him to continue. “Hmm?” 
The outlaw reaches out with his calloused hand and gently wraps it around your bicep, pulling you over to him. You stand between Arthur’s knees as he holds your hips and stares up at your angelic face. You lean over and kiss his forehead, his eyes fluttering closed as you run your fingers through his hair. After a moment, his eyes slowly open again, drinking you in. And Arthur realizes as he stares into your beautiful eyes that he has fallen in love with all of the millions of simple little things that you do, things that you do all of the time, and don’t even realize you’re doing them. 
“I love you, (Y/N).” 
You smile brightly down at him as his gravelly voice utters those amazing words so softly from his lips. You observe the seriousness in his face, so earnest in his declaration, as if he is trying to convince you of it. Arthur waits for your reply, hoping he hasn’t taken too long to tell you, fearing you’ve had second thoughts. 
After a brief moment you lean forward and kiss the tip of his nose. “I know,” you whisper, raising an eyebrow with that smart look you get. 
“I mean it”, he insists. “I never wanted more ‘til I had you. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.” His hands grasp a bit tighter as if he’s afraid you’ll walk away from him. “I suppose I was just too afraid to let myself go there again.” 
“It’s not love that you’re afraid of, Arthur. It’s that the next person that you love will be like the person who left you broken.” You cup your hands around his face, your thumbs drawing against the weathered skin of his cheeks. “I promise, I won’t do that to you.” 
Arthur’s eyebrows crease even further, that shadow of worry cascading over his face again. “(Y/N), I can’t give you the life you want, the life that you deserve.” 
“Are we doing this again?” you ask with a tinge of admonishment. “Arthur, I don't want someone who will promise me the world. I want someone who will hold me when I need it; who will bring me coffee in the morning; who will pull the blanket over me on cold nights when I’m sleeping. I want someone who will love me the same as I love them: madly, uncontrollably, inconveniently, and, yeah, maybe even foolishly.” A bright smile illuminates your face. “And I think you’re just the fool I’ve been waiting for.”
This makes a small chuckle break from his stern face as he shakes his head.
You pull his stubbled face in closer to yours. “I don’t care how complicated this gets, Arthur. I still want you.”
He lifts his hands from your hips and wraps them around your wrists as you continue to hold his face. “Maybe I’m afraid because you mean more to me than anyone ever has. I don’t want to mess that up.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing, and you won’t mess it up, Arthur.”
You watch the idea of it settle over Arthur, wrapping him up like a warm blanket and just as comforting as one, too. The tension in his shoulders ebbs away and his eyes soften and twinkle, making them rival the bluest ocean. 
He smiles up at you again. “Say it.” 
“What?”
“Say it again for me, would ya? Say you love me.” Arthur beams up at you as he wraps his arms completely around your hips, pulling you in and holding you tightly.
“I love you, Arthur Morgan. More than you can ever know or even comprehend.” You lean your face in close again, hovering sweetly over his. “We can do this, Arthur. I promise.” 
“Yeah, we can.”
—--------------------
The next day, Arthur, Charles and Javier have gone into town to get more supplies and stop for a round of poker and a quick drink. A quick drink soon turns into many. And many drinks turns into an argument with the locals. One that ends with the boys coming home victorious, but pretty banged up. Even as drunk as they were, the Van Der Linde gang is not a group of men to be messed with. 
Charles and Javier come back with mostly superficial wounds, black eyes and bruised ribs. Arthur, of course, always seems to carry the brunt of the trauma in these situations. If he’s not taking on the largest brawler, he’s dealing with more than one man at a time. Either way, Arthur is always the one to come home more torn up than the others.
But thankfully, you now have Arthur safely in your med tent, stitching up a shallow knife laceration in his side as he sits quiet and guilty. Arthur sheepishly avoids your eyes, as you are unusually silent about the situation, a clear indication that you are not happy about it. You tug on the thread of his stitches a little too aggressively as short huffs emanate from your nose in frustration.
“What if you get tired of this?” Arthur grumbles as he watches how you carefully pull the thread through his red and inflamed skin, wincing slightly as the needle pushes into his flesh over and over again. 
“Of what? Patching holes in you that you get from being reckless and stupid? Or seeing you without your shirt on? Because those are two totally different things,” you quip as your eyes briefly dart up to meet his before going back to your handiwork.
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, I do hate seeing you all busted up and bleeding,” you frown. Your delicate fingers dance across the damaged skin, deftly folding the thread around your fingertips with expert precision.
“It ain’t so bad. If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy’s knuckles,” Arthur jokes.
“Funny,” you deadpan.
“You ain’t the only one who’s funny, you know.” He pokes his long finger into your ribs in jest, making you squirm as you try to keep your hands steady.
“Point taken.” You continue to fuss, cleaning his wound and scrutinizing the stitchwork. “I will always take care of you, Arthur. I promise.” 
“And I will always be reckless and stupid,” he snickers. 
An exasperated sigh escapes you. “That wasn’t the point.” 
“Nope, can’t go back on your promise now,” he gloats.
—--------------------------------
You wake in the middle of the night in your tent, cold and lonely. Arthur was still out of camp when you went to bed tonight, but you miss him terribly. Sometimes when you are separated, you get this overwhelming feeling of emptiness without him. Maybe it is the ever-impending threat of danger that you live in. Or maybe it is that you just love him so much that it hurts to be apart. 
Still half asleep, you meander out of your tent and quietly pad over to Arthur’s, hoping to find him there. When you get to his tent and pull back the opening, you find him asleep on his cot. He still has his boots on, too, which means he came home and just plopped down and passed out. (Usually he will stop by your tent upon returning to camp, but you figure he was either too tired or didn’t want to disturb you.)
You smile with a great sense of relief and slip inside the tent, affixing the tent door down behind you again in privacy. You tiptoe over to the cot and carefully crawl onto the bedding. You snuggle-up next to Arthur’s side, lifting his arm and wrapping it around yourself as you rest your head on his chest. Once settled, you breathe out a sigh of contentment, nuzzling your face into his chest and eager to feel the warmth that radiates off of him. Within moments, you are back asleep, tucked safely under Arthur’s arm.
But while you fall back to sleep, Arthur is awake for the next hour that follows. He stirs at the feeling of your delicate hand around his wrist when you settle in next to him, but he has a hard time going back to sleep now. As you lay there together, Arthur listens to your peaceful breathing and inhales your flowery scent. He relishes the feeling of your weight on his chest and your feline-like body up against him. As he lays in the soothing darkness, his gaze lands on your gently sleeping form laying upon him. He observes how your chest steadily rises and falls with each delicate breath. He notices how you have carefully entwined your leg around his own, and your fingers gracefully splay across his beating heart. Arthur realizes that he has in his grasp what he’s always wanted:  someone to come home to, someone waiting for just him. And he doesn’t want to miss a single moment that he gets to hold you like this. 
When Arthur eventually shifts his weight, it causes you to stir from your comforted slumber. A large and deep yawn escapes you as you roll your eyes up to meet his blue orbs gazing down at you. A sleepy grin blooms across your face when you see that he is awake. 
Arthur softly runs the back of his dirt-stained knuckles against your cheek. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, it’s alright. I should probably be getting up anyway.” You sigh with a slight pang of disappointment as you roll yourself up and stand off the cot. 
“Aw c’mon, stay with me,” Arthur whines, catching your hand and holding it tightly. 
“All night?”
“Yeah, all night,” he insists. “It ain’t like people don’t know what we’re up to in here. And either way, it’s none of their business anyway.” He rolls onto his side, propping his head up with one hand as he continues to hold yours, playing with your fingers and drawing his thumb over the back of your hand.
“Do you really want to roll over and wake up with my face smashed into yours?” you tease.
“More than anything.” Arthur tugs you back down to him and kisses the corner of your eye, making you giggle. ”I’ll make it worth your while,” he utters out in a sultry tone, causing your knees to go weak. Your only response is a flutter of your eyelashes and a deep kiss to his pillowy lips as you climb back onto his cot. 
Arthur shifts his body and wraps his muscled arm around you to usher you back down, pinning you under him. A quiet hum escapes into the quiet, still air as he quickly deepens the kiss, his tongue pushing past your sweet lips. You hungrily reciprocate his affection, your hand gliding from his cheek to the back of his head as your fingers card through his hair. The feeling of your fingernails gently scraping along his scalp sends shivers throughout his whole tired body. Slowly, your knee bends, rubbing your leg against his much larger frame, indicating that you want more. 
Arthur’s hand roams freely and greedily over your sumptuous body as his palm firmly clamps over your breast, massaging the tender flesh before his mouth encompasses it over the thin cotton of your nightgown. Your chin floats back at the feeling of him touching you, your mind already lost in an incoherent fog. He works his way from your breast to your sternum, and proceeds to leave a trail of kisses and caresses down your figure. And as things go, your heat begins to tingle and ache with dire need. The anticipation is wreaking havoc with you, drawing soft whines and moans from your throat. 
The delicious sounds emanating from you set Arthur ablaze inside. He quickly sits up onto his knees as he begins to impatiently pull at your nightgown. But instead of just pushing it up, he yanks the obstructing article up and over your head. With the top half of your body exposed, Arthur makes quick work of your bloomers, folding your legs up in front of him so he can work the fabric down your lovely calves and over your feet. 
You are now completely bare to him, your large, shining eyes staring up at him as he looms over you like a predator. Arthur’s own eyes are filled with a divine mixture of love and lust, just for you. Your arms stretch out to him as a silent plea for him to continue. With a smirk, Arthur is quick to pull his shirt over his head and undo the buttons of his trousers and union suit underneath. You reach up and clumsily tug at the sleeves of his undergarment, exposing his chest to the cold night air. He has no time to strip himself down completely, as once his hard cock springs free from its confines, it is very clear he is ready to get things moving along. 
Arthur covers your body with his own once more, slowly rocking back and forth with a hypnotic motion. Your leg snakes around his backside in response, your heel digging into his thigh. Hot, steamy breaths cover each other’s faces from the barrage of wet heated kisses as the intimacy quickly escalates. Arthur’s hand drifts down between your two bodies to seek out your tender folds. A sharp moan jumps from your lips as the pads of his fingers sublimely rake across the delicate skin between your legs and your pelvis jerks up to grind against his palm. 
“Christ Almighty,” Arthur pants with his lips crushed against your temple.
“I know”, you sigh in agreement. 
A deep and guttural groan erupts from his chest, filled with want and desire for you. Feeling how your slick coats his fingers already, Arthur reluctantly withdraws his fingers to give himself a few quick pumps of his cock, using your wetness to lubricate himself. He rolls his hips to align his large body at your entrance, looking down at where your hips conjoin. Your hands find their way under his arms and grasp tightly to the flesh of his back, urging him to move forward and to do it quickly. Arthur’s chin lifts to meet your gaze, finding your mouth gaped and eyes heavy-lidded with wondrous longing as his name falls as a whimper from your kiss-swollen lips.
He hastily pushes himself into you, his usual slow and careful pace forgotten about. The feeling of his thick cock being roughly shoved into you makes you cry out, but you are quickly muffled with his scorching mouth over top of yours. Arthur is quick to start a fast pace, as his hips snap sharply into yours, rutting deeply into your core. The velvety walls of your cunt flutter tightly around him when you feel his length twitching inside you. The grinding is euphoric, sending waves of pleasure shooting throughout your bodies. The way the two of you sync up in the throws of passion is glorious, transcending any pleasure either of you have ever known. 
Arthur proceeds to sit back up onto his knees so he can fully take in the vision of you, your body shuddering beneath him from his force. The cot creaks beneath you as the very strength of its joints is being tested. He wraps his hands around your soft thighs for leverage as he observes how his cock glides in and out of you. Your back lifts off of the cot, arching to angle your pelvis towards him, eager for him to fill you even more, if that is even possible. Your hands seek out his thick wrists, slightly pulling yourself towards him to match his motion. When your head drops back against the canvas of the cot again, Arthur immediately falls forward to suck on your exposed jugular, leaving slight bite marks that pinch your overly sensitive skin. 
“You are so fucking amazing,” he garbles into your skin. “I don’t ever want to leave this tent.”
His burly body covers yours once again, encasing you under his muscled limbs as his arm snakes around your head, his face tucked tightly into your neck. 
“Then we won’t,” you whisper. You turn your face towards his, your bottom teeth dragging across the plump skin of his earlobe, your panting hissing in his ear as he continues to rock into you. You can taste the saltiness of his skin and the faint notes of earthy musk from being out all day in the elements as your tongue flicks at the bare skin of his shoulder as you attempt to muffle your moans into the muscle there. Your whole naked body feels as if it’s on fire with every inch of it touching him right now. The sound of your beloved outlaw grunting lustfully into your ear erases any and all other outside distractions or thoughts. And as his torso lurches back and forth over you, you feel that oh-so lovely lightning barrling its way towards your climax. 
“Whatever you do, don’t stop now,” you whine. Your arms encircle Arthur even tighter as you await that rapturous feeling that you know is coming. 
As usual, your whole body clamps down around him when your climax hits. Your wanton squeaks and moans are a bewitching melody in Arthur’s mind. The already-tight walls of your cunt restrict around his hefty cock, drawing out a brief whimper from him, pushing him to his own orgasm as he pulls himself out of you and rubs himself against your stomach in search of that friction needed to finish. 
Arthur instinctively clutches you to himself when he climaxes with an almost bone-crushing pressure. You tremble slightly, more from the overstimulation than from the damp night air encompassing you. You curl up into him, clinging desperately to his frame. Your fingertips dig into the valley of his spine, the soft chestnut colored hair that decorates his back sticking to his skin with a thin layer of sweat. The two of you have been together quite a few times by now, but every damn time it is exquisite, just as if it was the first time all over again.
The feeling of Arthur’s chest rapidly rising and falling beneath your arms mesmerizes you as you feel the very life of him coursing through your hands while you lay there wrapped up in each other. You can feel his heartbeat against your cheek as you nestle your face into that coveted space where his massive shoulder and neck meet. The weight of Arthur on top of you is so comforting. Where some may consider Arthur’s sheer bulk smothering, you find it calming. You wonder how he could ever think you are not safe when you’re with him, as that is always where you feel the most secure.
Your hips are always a bit sore after making love to Arthur, not used to opening up so wide to accommodate such a large man, but you snicker as you tell yourself that you’ll just have to do it more often to get used to it. The more you are together, the more comfortable and relaxed you become, giving in to the sweet intoxicating feeling of the other. The societal shame and guilt that often gets attributed to the act of sex have long been discarded. You two are no longer self conscious about being too loud, and are no longer hiding your bodies from each other in fear of rejection. Playful giggles of excitement, needy and eager hands, and exploratory kisses are the norm for you two now. 
Both fully expended and exhausted, Arthur hands you one of his towels to clean your stomach of his pearly spend that scatters across your skin. Once you toss the soiled linen to the side, Arthur shifts his body lower so he can lay his head onto your chest and pulls his blanket up and over the two of you. Your lips lay against the crown of his head as you play with the thick waves of hair while your fingertips drag along his forearm that tightly holds you to him. And within moments, you are both fast asleep again. 
—---------------------------------------------
After breakfast, you finish washing up the last of the dirty dishes, drying your hands on your short apron as you head over to the horses to give them the vegetable scraps. Arthur is already over there, throwing down some grain and fresh water for the lot. He catches your eye as you approach, giving you a smile and nod as you return his gaze with a blushing grin, the memory of last night still fresh in your mind as well as between your thighs. 
Arthur watches you as you toss the greens into the horses’ buckets, laughing lightly as they push each other to get to you. “Alright, piglets, hold on. There’s enough to go around.” You lovingly pat Taimia on the neck, as she is the best behaved out of all of these “spoiled children”. Arthur draws on the cigarette that hangs from his mouth, his eyes hovering over you. He squints slightly as he fidgets with the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, his thoughts kicking around in his head since last night.
“Hey, so I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’...” he starts nervously, his voice hesitant as he tosses the butt into the grass. 
You look over your shoulder back to Arthur as you try to keep Blue from nipping at your pockets, looking for treats. “Yeah?”
 “When we setup the new camp in a few days, what if you put your things in my tent?” He averts his gaze from yours for a second, unsure of how you will react to his suggestion.
But you simply give him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
Arthur takes a tentative breath before he elaborates. “You know, move your things over and, um…stay there.”
It takes a moment to register, but the idea of it causes a huge smile to slowly spread across your face from ear to ear. “Arthur Morgan, are you asking me to share your tent with you?” Your cheeks flush like a brilliant rose and you nibble your bottom lip with excitement.
Arthur reciprocates with a big grin of his own. “I kinda like the idea of waking up next to you every mornin’.” He swaggers over closer to you. “Although you do snore, though.”
“I do not!” you exclaim in playful offense, your hands planting onto your hips.
“Yeah, you do. It’s cute, though,” he snickers. “Like a cat meowing.” He proceeds to imitate a snore/meow sound as he pulls you to him by your waist. 
You slap his arm as you playfully scowl at him. “You’re an idiot.”
“Yeah, but I’m your idiot.” Arthur arches an eyebrow at you as he ducks his head to kiss under your jawline. 
“Yeah, I guess so,” smirking as you roll your eyes. “I'm kind of already invested in you and all.”
“It kinda works out nice that way. You’re mine and I’m yours.”
Your effervescent giggle makes Arthur’s heart melt. “I’ll take that deal.”
Arthur cups his hand around your cheek, his thumb pushing your chin up so he can look into your glittering eyes. “I’ll ride with you through all the bullshit, Y/N, just as long as you don’t bullshit me. Fair?”
Your delicate hands run up his chest and push over his strong shoulders where your fingers lace together behind his neck. “I can only make you two promises, Arthur:  That I will never hurt you in the way that I, myself, have been hurt, and that I will love you in the ways that you, yourself, have never been loved.” 
You stare into those sapphire eyes of his, trying not to get distracted by the full-range of emotions he has dammed up behind them, emotions that you have only just begun to unleash. “I don't want to just be with you, Arthur. I want to live and love with you. I want to experience every single thing, stupid or great, that our time on this Earth is willing to give us together.” 
A deep and relaxing breath is pulled into Arthur’s lungs and released, taking with it any of the anxiety and doubt that he’s been fostering over this new thing, this new beginning that you have gifted him and that he cannot wait to start.
“Just be with me now and we’ll figure out the details later, I suppose,” he hums. He leans down to catch the rose petals of your lips into a delicate kiss. Your eyes float close and you smile into his mouth. The kiss is not too short, nor too long, but just perfect, as it carries all of the affection you both hold within it.
Arthur pulls back from you, and cradles your face in both of his large hands, staring down at your happy, sparkling expression. 
“In my life full of wrongs, Y/N,  you’re the thing that’s right in it. And I don’t want to miss a minute of it.” 
222 notes · View notes
abyssalzones · 4 months ago
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[1/3] Hello! My apologies, I'm not sure how the best way to approach this is, so I hope you'll bear with me. I have been struggling with some thoughts surrounding Ford and Fiddleford that I haven't really been sure how to parse, and I am genuinely interested in your opinion. I mean this in good faith, an open mind to learn, and from the perspective of someone who really enjoys your depictions of these two characters. Especially in your review/analysis of the Book of Bill, I really agree with the way you describe Fiddleford's significance to Ford and how their relationship with each other is.
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I'm going to keep this fairly short and simple because my feelings on it are honestly not that complex, but I do really appreciate you coming to me with an open mind and explaining your own perspective. The truth is that I really don't think anything Bill did to Ford is equivalent to what Ford did to Fiddleford- which is not to say we're setting a standard for abuse at "the most extreme shit ever", but more that... I just don't see any evidence for it, whether that's textually or thematically.
Don't get me wrong- Ford definitely treated Fiddleford unfairly at certain points in the story. It's a major part of why their reunion feels all the more satisfying... but I think that has less to do with Ford not respecting Fiddleford and can be attributed largely to Bill's manipulation driving a wedge between them both. Ford and Fiddleford are, objectively speaking, equal partners: they were roommates in college, Fiddleford drove up to Oregon and stayed of his own accord to help Ford with what would become their portal project, and when shit gets to be too much, Fiddleford leaves. It's clear that even outside of a romantic interpretation they make for very good friends, something that to me is clearly not just a boss-employee relationship.
So the biggest faults in how Ford treats Fiddleford boil down to two things: a lack of trust ingrained from childhood bullying, and the evilest motherfucker in the world sitting on his shoulder and whispering lies into his ear. When Ford gives Fiddleford a stack of equations to work on, he's working himself to death just as hard if not harder. When he mixes up his Cubic's cube, he's playfully messing with him and potentially not understanding that it really is bothering him (if it is.) And later, when things start to truly unravel, Ford's rash behavior (leaving him at the diner, yelling WELL FINE I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T NEED ANYONE >:(, etc) it's Bill's influence well and truly consuming him and successfully isolating him from someone he had a once-healthy relationship with. hell, even in the journal's small segment about the "a better world" dimension, Fiddleford and Ford eventually make up and become business partners after the success of their portal project, regardless of everything that happened between them- with a way shorter timeframe between those things than in canon.
Idk I just think that while it's true Ford has flaws I think that's true of... any other character on earth? and I just personally can't see a reading of their dynamic that's abusive being true. and that's not only for textual, canonical reasons but a matter of framing between Bill & Ford vs Fidds & Ford. I think "well abused people are capable of abuse too!" is a fair point to make but in this context seems superfluous and really committed to this idea that Ford is just as bad of a person as Bill, or something, that often happens with abuse victims in or out of fiction.
but that's just me
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talesfrommedinastation · 1 year ago
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My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': The Outpost
As per many people's requests, I've collected a series of texts and Facebook messages from Doug when he watched certain episodes of everyone's favorite Copy Paste Boi show.
Some he was quite pithy on ('Ryan-from-Accounting goes fast but not fast enough to get away from the Bitch Wife Laura'), and others...well, he got excitable, to put it mildly.
Here's one of the more deranged ones, Season 2, Episode 12, 'The Outpost'. Or as Doug calls it: "The Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special."
CW for Language like you wouldn't believe. Doug says "you'll need a permission slip from your momma to read this, I guess."
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Daddy Warcrimes is waiting by the Empire's equivalent of a windowless van, because comfort is just not his thing and he really wants the experience of smuggling cocaine across the border one of these days.
Some bitch who looks like she works at a bank is telling these clones that their extended warranty is up. I wanna bring her a bag of pennies and make her count it before I deposit it because I'm sick like that.
So here comes in SOME BLOND JACKASS. Mother of Hell do I hate this guy. Can I just tell you how much I hate him? I hate him like I hate the Crimson Tide, like I hate February, like I hate my mother-in-law. Hate hate hate. 
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So Daddy Warcrimes, SOME BLOND JACKASS, and some homies get into Floating Probable Cause to lay waste to an unsuspecting Third World country or whatever.
Well, I was wrong! Looks like Elsa and her frozen fingers took over this dump. Disney owns both, so why not. The cold never bothered them anyway. Nope, they’re at somebody’s nasty old storage shed. Why does this remind me of visiting my sister in Wyoming?
Oh, who is this no-frills, salt-of-the-earth, son-of-a-bitch? Is that tanned Kurt Russell? No? It’s Sassy Park Ranger! I like him already. If he was my boss I’d actually show up to work on time and sober, or late and hung over, either way, it’d be a good time with the man. He just seems cool and chill and a nice dude. I bet he’s got homemade beef jerky in his locker and his beard always smells like cigar smoke. 
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OH SHUT UP STUPID BLOND JACKASS, Jesus Christ I’ve never wanted to hit someone with a folding chair so hard in my life. CALL HIM COMMANDER.
Aw, Sassy Park Ranger’s being nice to Daddy Warcrimes, maybe Daddy Warcrimes will share the Columbian nose candy in the back of the van with Sassy Park Ranger, and Sassy Park Ranger won’t ask about the sobbing family Daddy Warcrimes is probably holding for ransom in the back. It’s all about understanding each other. 
This is truly the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas special, snow and friendship and stuff. I hope this doesn’t end up with Daddy Warcrimes 86’ing Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer from the sky, that would traumatize the children. But this is the same studio that produced Bambi so who knows. Didn't he try killing a kid the first episode?
Oh man, Sassy Park Ranger’s lost a lot of his men, that’s real sad. Only two left, Jesus. SHUT UP BLOND JACKASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
(I won’t repeat it, but the amount of times that SHUT UP was texted was….something else- Dr. MM)
Sassy Park Ranger’s taking Daddy Warcrimes on a hike around the place in the middle of a blizzard, probably going to say hi to the yeti hooker they all frequent and show him how to write his name in the snow with pee. He’s such a good guy. If they go sledding I’d be so happy.
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Oh, shit! Daddy Warcrimes remembers that he has a job and proceeds to cop some poor bastard in the leg so he can follow the trail of blood in the snow. What in the Fargo am I watching here, does Steve Buschemi show up at one point now. No sledding in this one, I guess.
Well there goes Sassy Park Ranger and Daddy Warcrimes on a heartwarming romp following a crippled burglar in the snow as he bleeds to death. Kevin McCallister would be so proud. Well, now, they found a dead body already. You know, at this point, if Daddy Warcrimes capped Santa in the head this show wouldn’t be less wholesome. 
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Aw shit Daddy Warcrimes stepped on a landmine, but Sassy Park Ranger watched his training videos that HR made them sit through and disarms it. They’re having a nice convo, I really, really like Sassy Park Ranger. If he dies I’ll be so freaking mad. 
(I said nothing, FYI - Dr. MM)
Aw shit, they found the bunker of crazy white people with guns in the snow. It’s confirmed: the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special takes place in Wyoming. Are Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger facing off my brother-in-law and his branch of the VFW near Laramie? Those guys need hobbies besides doomsday prepping and getting drunk in the snow. It ain’t right. 
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“After all we sacrificed”…man. I feel right here. Is this the child friendly version of Enemy at the Gate? Shit. Please these two bastards need to survive. I need a beer and I wanna hug my wife.  
Dr. Meat Muffin, please don't tell me you're letting your babies watch this show. They need that dog from Australia who has fun with her daddy, not this.
Oh shit, avalanche! 
Oh no, Sassy Park Ranger. Oh no, oh no. Oh, Daddy Warcrimes.
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Thank Christ they made it! They’re gonna save him! They’re gonna save him.
Wait. What. 
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WHAT THE FUCK, BLOND ASSHOLE. 
I HATE THIS JACKASS SO GODDAMNED MUCH, SOLDIER OF THE EMPIRE, I WANNER SHOVE MY SOLDIER UP YOUR EMPIRE YOU STUPID DICK. 
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
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Yay! Daddy Warcrimes finally took out his gun and 86’d that FUCK. CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!
Man...I hope this ends okay for Daddy Warcrimes. I hope his brothers aren't just dicking around somewhere warm while he and the other bros are out dying.
Guess that'll be next episode?"
....Doug snapped SO HARD watching 'Pabu'. Brace yourselves.
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nadas-dirthalen · 1 month ago
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I Saw Solas's Origin in an Achievement Icon and It Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore
— PART FIVE: if you haven't read previous parts, do it now! —
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]
Welcome, friends and travelers! I wanted to get some thoughts recorded before Veilguard's release so I could see if I am right about an absolute BOATLOAD of theories I have.
In short: I saw the achievement list when it was released. I have seen the backstory hints for Solas included in said list. AND MY MIND WAS BLOWN.
You have been warned: THIS COLLECTION OF THEORIES INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR EVERY DRAGON AGE GAME AND ALL PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL UP TO AND INCLUDING OCTOBER 18, 2024.
Come sit down with me. Make a nice cup of tea (and hide it from Solas). We've got a lot of unpacking to do.
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(no, this photo isn't the spoiler, I just like it.)
Today's Discussion: the Tragedy of the Evanuris (1/3)
— Beings Made, Souls Sundered, Hearts Blackened —
Welcome back! As always, please please please go read the earlier instalments of this series before reading this one. I don't have the space in every post to reiterate all relevant context, and I fear I'll leave people feeling lost if they jump in on this one.
Okay? Okay.
So: we've unearthed that Solas came from lyrium (probably). That Titans are the Forgotten ones; that the Maker is likely a Titan. That Titans were sundered, and the Fade is their (currently sundered) consciousness that once drifted freely over the world like wind. That all magic is one thing, and only looks like two schools because one pulls from the Titans' consciousness, and the other pulls from their physical bodies. That in the Chant of Light, at least some of the Evanuris are the Maker's first children, and they sought to conquer the earth.
Today, we'll go over what I think that means for all of them. Where I believe each Evanuris truly came from, what each of them did to wreak havoc upon the world and the Titans, and what I think could happen in Veilguard.
I do not have a chronology of the Evanuris's existence, though. Their history still reads something like, "the Evanuris were born/made -> ??? the everything??? every crime they did??? -> the Evanuris were trapped by Solas" in my brain. Therefore, I'll be splitting the topics up into each of the Evanuris, not an attempt at cataloguing their history linearly.
Mythal and Lyrium Coffins
Elgar'nan and Sundered Beings
Falon'Din and Blackened Hearts
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Mythal and Lyrium Coffins
I'm going to make no attempt to guess how Mythal came into being herself, only that she is one of the Maker's first children and that Dalish legend says she rose from the sea (the emerald waters, perhaps). It's what she has done in the time since that interests me.
Starting off strong: this is the reason we're all here. This is the reason I've been inspired to write this post in the first place. The revelation that shook my brain: that it was Mythal who did not just ask Solas to manifest into a body, but who mined him from a Titan.
One reason I put Mythal first is that, with what little I understand of the chronology, I believe that her actions of mining people from the Titans came before the others', simply because the act of making people must come before the horrible acts that were later done to those people by the other Evanuris.
It seems like Mythal's crime (because yeah, I'm going to call "mining spirits from lyrium and putting them into corporeal bodies without their enthusiastic consent and then putting her vallaslin on their faces" a crime) is the foundation upon which all the others' happens. This is how the Evanuris built their empires, it seems: by warring with the Titans and creating the elvhen out of the spoils of that war.
It has massive implications for the elvhen people and their elven descendants. It has implications for the world of spirits, both lyrium- and Fade-based. Regardless of if Mythal eventually became the "sole voice of Reason" that Solas claims she was before she was murdered, the point is that the Evanuris's crimes all stem from Mythal's own.
Remember that she, too, was holding up a golden orb with Elgar'nan. She, too, was naming herself a false god.
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The other reason I've included Mythal first is that this is our first concrete confirmation that there is a direct relation between the actions of the Evanuris and the vallaslin we can choose as players. They could not have been more obvious with this one: Mythal's vallaslin are the shape of Solas's original body, and likely the same shape as the other countless people she mined from lyrium. This means we can examine the other Evanuris's vallaslin for clues about their deeds during their reign as the elven gods.
Let's begin taking a look at the rest of the pantheon. First: if Mythal made the first elvhen, what did her counterpart, Elgar'nan, do?
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Elgar'nan and Sundered Beings
Elgar'nan's origin seems to be different from Mythal's. The sun, in Dalish legend, is often associated with dragons. Elgar'nan was supposedly born from a union between the sun and the earth, in the place where they touched. My hypothesis is that Elgar'nan is the product of dragonfire wounding a Titan, and Elgar'nan breaking off from said Titan as a result. This is only a guess, and is not what I want to focus on. Instead, I want to turn our collective attention to his deeds, as they are more important for the story of the Evanuris.
We now understand that the Evanuris mined Titans to create their followers, the elvhen. This is the first crime of the Evanuris, done by Mythal. It gave way to all the others. To understand this, let us look at Mythal and Elgar'nan's first "children."
Dirthamen and Falon’Din are linked in Dalish legend as inseparable twin brothers. Scraps of elven stories from after the fall of Arlathan—transcribed into Tevinter and recently lent to our fair University—refer to them as “twin souls” but draw no family connection. The oldest stories never even name them directly, referring to Falon’Din as “Dirthamen’s shadow,” and Dirthamen as “Falon’Din’s reflection.” The little we understand implies their bond was not romantic, beyond even the strongest friendship. The legends of Dirthamen and Falon’Din may have been an allegory for complex elven relationships we lack context to comprehend.
For a long time, I wondered what this relationship could be. But once I'd seen for certain that Mythal mined bodies from Titans—and once I pieced together that these bodies and spirits are intricately related, as lyrium stores thought and memory in a physical container—I knew the implications behind "twin souls."
I then referred to Dalish legend. Now, one must remember not to read Dalish legend literally, just like with the Chant of Light. The Sun may be referred to as Elgar'nan's father, but I posit that the Sun is just another of Thedas's magical forces: dragons, or anything relating to fire and the draconic.
From the wiki:
According to elven legend, the sun grew jealous of the favor shown by Elgar'nan for the things of the earth, and so burned them to ashes. In retaliation, Elgar'nan threw the sun down from the sky, and only later relented because of Mythal's intervention. He was convinced, with her help, to restore his father to the sky on the promise that the sun would set each night.
Dalish legend is full of symbols, but if we read this through that lens, then Elgar'nan threw down a powerful being—whether a dragon or a powerful spirit associated with fire (rage demon, anyone?)—into the abyss.
To get an idea of what happened down there, I turned to a codex found in the Deep Roads in Trespasser.
What were the ancient elves doing down here? Mining? Where were the dwarves? Easier to have them mine it. Not a trading post. You don't go into a friend's home, knock over their gods, and put up your own. War? I don't remember any legends about our people fighting the dwarves. Though I remember my Keeper telling a story about how the dwarves fear the sun because of Elgar'nan's fire. A metaphor for the elves of Arlathan driving the dwarves underground?
Remember that ancient elvhen mining looked a lot like creating people. And whatever Elgar'nan did down here, it put lasting fear into the dwarves.
The legend says that Elgar'nan then released the sun into the sky, after Mythal's intervention. Note that this area of the Deep Roads is where Mythal's lyrium coffins are found. And after Mythal intervened and Elgar'nan released that "Sun" he'd thrown down?
And that night, when the sun had gone to sleep, Mythal gathered the glowing earth around his bed, and formed it into a sphere to be placed in the sky, a pale reflection of the sun's true glory.
Mythal released another being, out of the wreckage of what Elgar'nan had done. A reflection of that "Sun." Noting that Dirthamen is referred to as "Falon'Din's Reflection," I think that gives us insight into Elgar'nan's actions during the reign of the Evanuris: the ones that would make someone like Solas feel seething hatred for him, enough to call the Evanuris his "mortal enemies."
And his vallaslin perfectly illustrate that: the complex version of the Elgar'nan vallaslin, pictured above, shows a face split in half. One half is painted in the inverse colours of the other, showing a perfect divide between two things. One side, a reflection; the other, more coloured in, is effectively a shadow of the other.
And the achievement icon I've placed next to it confirms my theory: Elgar'nan is holding up a moon in the memory titled, "Our Mistake." (Why this is not the sun, I can only guess. Ease of illustration, maybe?)
But the question remains: what did Dirthamen and Falon'Din then do that would earn them places in the same evil pantheon?
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Falon'Din and Blackened Hearts
We know that vallaslin tell stories, so right away, I'll direct you to look at Falon'Din's. We can see what looks like roots and branches, with an orb of some kind in the center. When I first started playing Dragon Age (March of this year, can you believe), I associated that with some Tree of Life imagery, with a focus on the roots and (ostensibly) Death. Makes sense, right?
But look at the image from Memory #3: Blackened Hearts right next to it. That is the heart of a Titan, swathed in shadowy tendrils, with a lot of undead-looking hands reaching toward it.
Suddenly, I am seeing a Titan's heart in the middle of my Rook's forehead. The Rook I made in August.
I think there's still more to unearth. Let's look at what Solas says about Falon'Din in the Temple of Mythal:
"I do not believe they sing songs about Falon'Din's vanity. It is said Falon'Din's appetite for adulation was so great, he began wars to amass more worshippers. The blood of those who wouldn't bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans. Mythal rallied the gods, once the shadow of Falon'Din's hunger stretched across her own people. It was almost too late. Falon'Din only surrendered when his brethren bloodied him in his own temple."
"He began wars to amass more worshippers" has caught my attention, now, in a new way. We know now that the Evanuris didn't amass all their following through matters of persuasion. In fact, they made their own followings, harvesting them from Titans.
"The blood of those who wouldn't bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans." Before, I might have read that as killing so many people that their blood would fill an ocean. But even for Solas, even for the Evanuris, that seems like an exaggeration. Now I ask: were the lakes as wide as oceans already there, deep underground? Did the Titans' blood flow into them as Falon'Din waged his wars?
And, finally, "the shadow of Falon'Din's hunger stretched across [Mythal's] own people." Now, we know that that does not just mean Mythal's faithful, or her friends. It means the people that Mythal was making—a group which Solas belongs to. I'm beginning to see why he'd hate Falon'Din so viscerally.
But what was Falon'Din's goal, really?
The People swore their lives to Falon'Din Who mastered the dark that lies. Whose shadows hunger Whose faithful sing Whose wings of death surround him Thick as night. Lethanavir, master-scryer, be our guide, Through shapeless worlds and airless skies.
The Chant oft refers to a number of opposites. Earth and Sky, yes, but also Darkness and Light—also referring to the Abyss and the Fade. If we imagine that Falon'Din has mastered this darkness, and that the singer of this song suggests that the darkness lies, it may be that Falon'Din was anti-Titan in general. "Wings of death" surrounding him may refer to dragons, as "Winged Death" does in the case of Elgar'nan's codices. After, we come to the final stanza: "Lethanavir, master-scryer, be our guide / Through shapeless worlds and airless skies."
Keeping with the Earth/Sky metaphor, I am wondering if Falon'Din wanted an end to everything Titan-related to get rid of magic entirely: both Earth and Sky.
I wonder if what he accomplished was not killing the Titans, though, but "blackening their hearts." We already know that the Forgotten Ones are beings of "malice, terror, spite, and pestilence." They have names remarkably similar to demons. Perhaps, in trying to kill them, Falon'Din turned them from benevolent beings to these twisted opposite qualities.
If that is the case, it has major implications for the Evanuris later in this series. Not only that, but major implications for the world of Thedas at large. Once these Titans' hearts were blackened, what horrors began to befall Ancient Elvhenan?
What went so wrong that Solas sundered all the Titans' minds from their bodies in order to stop catastrophe?
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As ever, if you got this far, thank you!! I look forward to reading any additions or questions people might have, as ever!!
Also: I am trying my hardest not to consume full-game-review spoilers! As these reviews have just gone live a few hours ago (10/28), I am not reading my notifications/replies, and am appearing here only to continue posting my theories.
But if you feel like sticking around anyway, stay tuned for: The Tragedy of the Evanuris pt. 2: Horrors Enacted Upon the Faithful.
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