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painfullymeta · 2 months ago

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Games and Gender

(Apparently I'm gonna occasionally be using the tumblr for the sort of thing I used to put in my political blog, back in the ancient days when I had a political blog.)

I am used to being the only presumed-woman in the game. (I wish I could remember Sunflower's acronym, something like people-socially-classed-as or something like that, but I can't. Or is that it? Maybe!)

It's actually not as true as it feels like; probably the majority of games I've been have had multiple women at the table. One of my current games (that started in the quarantimes) has one cis guy involved *at all*. (Also in that one when I proposed a trans character the GM made sure to have a Little Talk with me to be clear on whether I was doing so from an in-group or an out-group perspective.) Board game night was pretty gender equal (partly because sensible gamers marry other gamers, heh).

But my tabletop group that's been running on and off for... I'm not sure how long but it's over fifteen years because it settled *at* my house when I was pregnant? Men, and me. That high school game group where I started? Usually mostly boys, an adult man, and, again, me.

Raiding World of Warcraft? Either my housemate or I spoke up in Vent once, and a hush went over the chat, and someone said, in stunned, hushed tones, "There are _girls_ here."

Even back to childhood, there's the thing where my brother got the Nintendo, and I did not. (We did inherit an Atari from our cousins and that became my default console. Which is part of why when some crypto-gamergater tried to suggest to me that maybe there was a valid point and "girls" really don't play those sorts of games I went off on an enthusiastic ramble about Joust, which made him withdraw from the field, though he did not turn into an egg and/or fall in the lava.) My parents, I guess, didn't catch on that the thing I most wanted to do when over at certain friends' houses was 'play their computer games'. (They did give me basically the entire works of Infocom one year, though.)

I didn't particularly want games to be about gender. And I don't have any of the horror stories I hear about - the sexual harassment at the table, either of the player or of the character, for example. But it's not like the surrounding world gives a shit about what people want, in it, is there?

Because all sorts of things wind up being about it.

In my teens, I hit on the time-honored tradition of "work through some of your shit by building a tabletop roleplaying character around it", and I made a character in part around my desire to work through some feelings around my experiences of sexual violence. (As is often the case for this sort of thing, she'd been through worse than I had. As is also often the case for people in that situation, neither she nor I explained this bit of the backstory to anyone that I can recall.) And one of the other characters at the table, played by a boyfriend of the time, came on to her, and it went ... badly all around. And afterwards, he asked me, from his tone I guessed faintly offended, "Explain Hellcat."

I don't remember what I said. I do know that I was not at a point in my life where I could talk easily about having been assaulted. I do know that I was worried that if I brought up that this was part of her backstory, I would get asked uncomfortable questions like "Why would you include that in a character's story?" from someone who had had no reason to think about how that sort of thing is a part of many, many people's stories, and imaginary people are not actually an exception.

It was in her story because I was trying to work through what it meant that something similar was in mine.

(I note: this was literally years before a particular conversation with an assault survivor made me feel I had actual permission to be fucked up by my own event. I wasn't even there yet. I was just trying to process it. It was a game. I could explore ideas. In the long run, I could experiment with what it was like to figure out how to be loved after a traumatic event.)

I don't always build characters around particular experiences, though of course they all have a bit of me somewhere in them. But there are these niggling things like that conversation where I wind up just... aware. Not generally as blatantly as "Explain Hellcat." But.

And I mean, once the Warcraft guys got used to the idea of 'there are girls here' they weren't a problem. But they still had that moment of shock, of almost disbelief, that's one of the reasons I'd heard of people saying they never raided, or never spoke on the raid chat. At one point I was out on a male toon (I tended to roll up a male and female character for each species) and noticed that the conversation was about female gamers in the regional chat, and I felt like I was an infiltrator.

And of course I had a slowly increasing awareness of my own dysphoria, putting pieces together over time, and increasing irritation with the boundary-policing of gender and a whole bunch of other things that one might expect come out of having a hobby for a while (see also back in the ancient days when I had a political blog) of arguing with TERFs recreationally. Which is a whole different topic. But it comes around to a thing that's been annoying me for _years_, which is why I wrote [gestures upwards] all that right now.

There was a survey that came out after I started considering myself nonbinary. And it was asking for participants who were women in gaming hobbies. It was very, very clear on being trans-inclusive, by which I mean it said "this survey is open to anyone WHO IDENTIFIES AS A WOMAN".

Which I did not.

Did I have experiences that were likely relevant to "women in gaming hobbies"? Oh hell yeah. I've noted a few of 'em up above there.

Was I welcome to answer the survey? By the reading of the rules: nope. (Was I allistic enough to answer the survey despite it explicitly excluding me? Also nope.)

Which loops around to one of those transmasc experience things that I have also seen other people talking about: the need some people have to make the experience of gender clean-cut and clear in ways that it very much is not and cannot be.

I don't have the socially preferred "always known" narrative, and even if I had had it, there are places it wouldn't have fucking mattered. (Certainly not with an adolescence in an environment where I don't think I heard the word "lesbian", even, let alone got any information about the existence or possibility of trans people. Nobody was out at my school, about anything. And even if I'd known I'd have had no idea what to do with the knowledge.)

(And I *didn't know*. The puzzlepiece-shape of 'socially uncertain straight girl nerd' and the puzzlepiece-shape of 'autistic gay(?) transmasc/nonbinary nerd' are actually very similar puzzlepiece shapes and how the fuck am I supposed to tell the difference between "I don't understand this social thing" and "I don't understand this social thing (because it smacks of gender, specifically)" anyway? Certainly not at fourteen in the early 90s! I've been making "I was behind the door when they handed out the manual for that gendered expectation" cracks for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. And I can date it that precisely because I started articulating any of this stuff when I was on usenet!)

Until I was, like, thirty, I was, as far as I *or anyone else* could perceive, an awkward straight girl/woman who could really have used learning words like "asexual" that didn't hit my social environment until notably later and who had a focused interest in queer-lens readings of Christian theology despite being neither queer nor Christian. That's the life experience I had. And there's eggy shit in there, sure, I noted some eggy shit *right in that sentence*. That doesn't change the nature of the internal experience and the external perception. Then it was a decade of increasing anxious exploration of gender and what I was, including an extended roleplay of a gay cis man (Kinsey 5, not 6, but) that grew out of some fanfic writing I was doing, which led to discovering that his skin was much more comfortable than mine to inhabit.

I still don't know what I am. I have anxiety about whether my transmasc nonbinary ass is male enough to be gay; whenever I'm doing an intake questionnaire or something that asks me about orientation I just sit and. Stare. For a bit. Because I don't feel entitled to claim 'gay', I haven't been there, my adolescence was not that, but I damn sure ain't straight either. (Anymore? I didn't have the internal experience of doubting it back when. The closest I got was noting an attraction to geek-as-gender masc people, as a geek-as-gender person; my wisecrack for years has been that I'm exclusively attracted to engineers and MIT students.) I appreciate it when these forms have an option for 'queer' because at least that doesn't ... require me to chop up my life until I can arrange the parts into something that has simple words and a simple, clear narrative that can elide my actual history.

And that's what people want, a lot of the time. If a trans man doesn't disavow his experience as a girl and a woman (whether or not he was aware of the disjoints there), he must not be "really" a man. If he tries to speak on his experiences with gendered nonsense or misogyny, he's speaking out of turn. He can either have credibility as himself *or* credibility as a person with a past, and because of that tension he can't _really_ have credibility as either, there's always that half-spoken "but—" that comes in.

If I speak as a woman about the gendered experiences I have had, I betray myself, and undermine any attempts to claim a space as not-a-woman.

If I speak as not-a-woman about those same experiences, then I am told I don't have standing. What I experienced wasn't _real_ whatever, because that only happens to women. (A lie, I will note, even when only said among the cis; I have met male rape victims, including at least one who was raped by a woman. I have met cis gay folks whose experiences with violence have absolutely had a context of feminization.)

The experiences still happened. I'm still here.

But no matter what I do, there's always an excuse to not hear me.

"This survey is open to anyone WHO IDENTIFIES AS A WOMAN."

(I am pretty sure they didn't mean to shut me and those like me out, but I am also pretty sure that to the extent they considered transmasc people existing at all, they assumed that we would be okay with playing at being women long enough to participate. Because the cultural assumption is that we're only playing at being men, after all, and womanhood is where we live, because there are consequences to it that are inescapable. No matter how much we want to gnaw it off like an animal stuck in a trap and carry on three-legged and free.)

Wherever my life goes from here, I don't know. Particularly not in the current moment. But I'm 100% sure that there will be people who are surprised by it, and they might even include people at my gaming tables.

But again back to that time-honored tradition of "work through some of your shit by building a tabletop roleplaying character around it"?

Both my tabletop characters at the moment are fairy-obsessed trans men; both of them have a history of asexuality that is partially linked to dysphoria (though Celyn is also just straight-up grey ace and genuinely baffled by his current feelings); both of them have a primary relationship with a man and are primarily oriented towards men. (Danny is both more gender-flexible and orientation-flexible, heh. Also species-flexible. And an exclusive monsterfucker....)

Anyone who's surprised by anything I do about this hasn't been paying attention. I kind of look forward to seeing what happens. Sometimes a guy's gotta be a gremlin.

#things I say about gender #gaming #content created by me #dear diary tumblr #trans issues

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cowboygreeting · 11 months ago

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art © starparkdesigns

task 001. 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚛.

last updated 02/20/2024

BASICS.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 seth hiroshi masters — seth hiroshi from birth, masters 1996-onwards, following his legal adoption.

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 cowboy greeting professionally, apparently; gnomerodeo if you know him from online. believe it or not, it is a coincidence.

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 will sharpe

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒 thin scar cutting through his eyebrow, healed-broken nose, occasional facial twitch/spasm

𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒 / 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

japanese maple (right shoulder); canada goose in flight (right bicep); soot sprites (left forearm); kermode bear [spirit bear] (crook of left elbow); pistols pointing down (matching, both hips); portuguese water dog [his childhood dog sam] in play (left calf)

pierced right ear, small gold hoop

𝐀𝐆𝐄 / 𝐃.𝐎.𝐁. 38 years old / 2.2.1986

𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 aquarius sun: unconventional, abstract, boundary-pushing, roots for the underdog; scorpio moon: intense, passionate, dramatic, struggles to let others in; sagittarius rising: independent, optimistic, confident, charismatic yet blunt and critical

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍 powell river, b.c. / brampton, ontario

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

ellen and rod masters (parents); mackenzie irish (sister); brandon irish (brother-in-law); june irish (niece)

kaiko mcintyre-masters (daughter, lives with her mother) — his favourite person on planet earth, hands down, would do anything for her, keeps several pictures of her in his wallet, will not be letting anyone here who doesn't already know she exists know about her.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 / 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 cis man, he/him

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 gay

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 single, never married.

enjoys hookups and casual relationships; has dated on-and-off; last serious relationship ended several years ago; says he's prioritizing work and his daughter, truly has no interest in committing to the people he meets.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒 thoughtful, considerate, loyal, obedient

𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒 timid, disconnected, tendency towards disinvestment, capacity for fixation/malicious compliance

𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 vaping, compulsive gaming, more-than-occasional drug and alcohol use, late night wandering, not texting back

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 gaming (particularly world of warcraft and rust, social games); bass guitar; powerlifting; cooking; rec-league rugby

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒 (𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄) tobiko — tiny crusty white mutt. sometimes known as tobi or toebeans. currently being cared for by his parents.

THE FOUNDATION.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 jr. researcher

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍(𝐒) jr. researcher for the reintegration department; field analyst doing site evaluations on a number of mtfs — some might call this "glorified operative hall monitor", which he would resent

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 last worked for the anomalous entities engagement division (aeed), researching the efficacy of humane containment procedures and enrichment programs against more traditional methods of containment — some might describe this as "glorified scp babysitter", which he wouldn't necessarily object to

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒 / 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒

formal credentials include: a b.a. in psychology, with a focus in cognitive and behavioural psych; a masters of social work, with a focus in public policy and family systems; several years of experience writing policy in the non-profit sector, several years of experience working with vulnerable clients in the field

informal credentials include: an impossibly high tolerance for bureaucratic bullshit, an iron stomach, thicker skin than you'd imagine, genuinely sense of care for those around him, not caring whether or not he personally gets fired, fluency in boardspeak

EXTRAS.

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 to be added.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 to be added.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 / 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒 to be added.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 gideon nav, the locked tomb; dr. wilson, house; antigone, jean anouilh's antigone; camilla hect, the locked tomb; oh dae-su, oldboy

𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 to be expanded upon. for the time being, see my cg tag.

#fhq.task #fhq.seth #seth.task #LOTS I STILL NEED TO ADD I KNOW I JUST WANTED . SOMETHING UP #least unsettling list of character inspirations /s

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direbeastrex · 4 months ago

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Tumblr I had an extremely vivid dream which was basically an act 2 finale/act 3 post intermission scene of a fucked up fae court broadway drama and if i don't tell someone about it I'll forget it and I cannot. allow that. to happen. I'm gonna describe it in as much detail as I can but then I'm going to write the rest as prose because this is my new headworld now apparently and I am OBSESSED WITH IT and no one is gonna write fanfiction for me to read about it so I just have to push up my flannel sleeves and do it myself.

In the dream itself, I was either waiting in the wings to go on stage, or I was a stage hand, but given the rest of the sequence played in-universe I'm going to assume it was the former. I got to see the actress for the main villain of the show, this kinda cross between Elphaba from Wicked, Elsa from Frozen, and Vyranoth and the Winter Queen from World of Warcraft, as she put on this giant plastic icey helm dotted with LEDS, that I originally thought had animations projected onto it like modern disney rides, but when I woke up realized it was more likely to just be a weird screen in and of itself playing her fae-like facial expressions as she sang to make it look like her whole head was made of ice. She was impossibly tall, and wearing a massive flowing black gown and billowing cloak- partly she was just a tall actress, partly though the head wasn't actually over her head, it was on a rig over her shoulders to give her more height- and because the plan was for her head to *come off* at some point during the show when she got beheaded, I think. That didn't happen in the scope of the dream but i knew that was how it was supposed to work. The way she got felled on stage though was through an elaborate system of ropes and flying rigs that as she was mid-leap towards an opponent in the big battle happening on stage, a *massive* amount of these long metal javelin-like spears were lobbed at her and appeared to pierce her back and sides until she looked like a massive porcupine. She hits the deck in agony in the midst of a massive musical crescendo and the curtain falls for intermission, which my brain skipped, but after that the intro-conceit of this taking place on stage was also dropped, so there went all the multi-coloured light films and the staging and music for the most part. The part that stuck with me is the aftermath- the act-3 scene-1 type beat, though it was almost entirely in-universe from this point on. There were other characters and initially the staging was vaguely simpatico with the idea of a stage show- but all that slowly faded away into my perspective character and this enormous figure of this ice queen.

#TBC because i need to get dinner and the next post is gonna be written in more of a prose-format since that's the way the dream presented it #rex writes #the next part was an emotional doozy but a lot of it i straight up forgot because i got distracted after getting up #also my partner is hunkering down for a hurricane and i am an ANXIOUS boy #let me know if yall like this next part cause i want to write it out fully now #or draw it #the designs are SO CLEAR in my head AUGH #creative writing #dream writing #fair folk #fantasy writing #someone pay me to write this show down

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reidio-silence · 1 year ago

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so after i graduated from high school i knew that i wanted to transition but had a lot of anxiety about it, most of it like family acceptance turned out fine but something i was worried about and was totally right for was going into the guys dorm in the engineering college which was really bad especially because my roommate was a shitty person. like one time his gf was visiting from pittsburgh where they grew up and we barely saw her when she was here but afterwards he went on about the sex stuff that by his own narrative he was basically coercing her into. and then it turned out that a friend of a friend of his was a trans woman which i learned from him talking about it with his friend in world of warcraft which he constantly played in our room, and i only heard his side of the conversation but it was disgusting with the friend apparently kinda being accepting? but he was not at all and really nasty to her, encouraging his friend to do the same. he wasn't the only shitty guy in the hall but the worst i remember.

after that first year it was no longer basically mandatory to do on-campus housing and i immediately took the option to go off which did upset my parents (i hadn't come out to them yet) but it didn't matter because i had gotten a summer webdev internship and was able to rent a place over the summer starting to take mail-order hrt going to what trans support stuff there was in rural virginia and hooking up with guys on craigslist. then the next school year started and my depression got so bad i had to drop out for a year after but that's another post.

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

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Hello there :) May I have a matchup for Ninjago and Genshin?

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: I have no idea, but I'm content with that. I like the mystery of not knowing, and the freedom from labels😝. Potentially ace, if that helps.

Horoscope: I'm a Genini-Cancer cusp, (technically Gemini) Libra rising.

Myers Briggs: INFP (although, the second time I took a test I got INFJ so idk lol).

Personality, likes, dislikes:

At first, I come across as aloof, calm, and socially awkward. I'm very to-the-point, and can sense BS very quickly. I never get involved in drama, but I might make a witty joke while I sit in my little corner and watch with popcorn. I've been told I'm very observant and I've been called an old soul. But when you get to know me, I can be a bit of a gremlin😆.

I have a huge imagination and I'm always daydreaming. I'm creative and I love storytelling. Especially theatre and writing. Once I start writing, I find it hard to stop (as you can see here😂). I'm a film geek who likes psychological horror movies (Hitchcock films, The Shining, Carrie, etc). But I also love Scooby Doo. Another thing I like is archery and being outdoors.

I'm also a complete basketcase and 24/7 stressed. I try to look on the bright side of things when I can, though, and consider my life to be an adventure. I know my problems will be a fun story to tell at parties someday.

One thing I despise is people being condescending, and talking down to me. I'm neurodiverse and I look younger than I am, so I've had my fair share of that. I also hate when conversations get needlessly intellectual and philosophical. Like, if I ask: "What's 1+1?" And someone tells me: "Well...what IS the number one, really? Numbers are just symbols on paper. "

I'm like: "...right, but what's 1+1?" Me wanna know HOW math. Me not wanna know WHY math. Oh, and speaking of math, I hate math.

Fun facts:

I was born with weirdly shaped pinky fingers. They're both bent sideways. Apparently it's called "clinodactyli" or something, so that's cool. Also I have OCD, sensory issues and trichotillomania. My favorite movie is Gremlins. One time, I accidentally printed, like, 87 pictures of a cat because I was a dumb 7-year-old, and the entire computer room was flooding with cats. My mom was so mad😂. Also, I'm terrible at videogames. I tried to play World of Warcraft once, and spent over an hour trying to get out of the canyon I accidentally jumped into.

Hi! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In Ninjago, I match you with...

Nya loves sitting on the sidelines of drama with you and just watching things go down. She’s been tangled in her fair share of drama far too many times. Now, she’s more than happy to stay out of the conflict.

Would love taking walks through nature with you. She likes the peace that comes with being outdoors.

Would absolutely be a fan of Gremlins. Nya would love to watch it with you as many times as you’d like.

Admires your dedication to trying to see the good in things and treating life as an adventure. She knows how hard that can be sometimes.

Scooby Doo enthusiast. I can see her as a Daphne and Velma fan. She’s particularly fond of the Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated variation.

Nya will never talk down on you. She’s very good at treating everyone with respect, as long as they deserve it. And in her eyes, unless you’re actively attacking the city or her friends, everyone deserves respect.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Xingqiu loves how your personality can flip so quickly from quiet and socially awkward to a complete gremlin. He loves the energy you bring.

Will try to drag you into pranking Chongyun. He won’t push you though, he respects that pranks are not everyone’s thing.

Loves that you like storytelling. You two would have great dates where you take turns telling stories. Xingqiu writes them all down later so he can remember every little detail you tell him.

Would absolutely take you to the theatre. He’s a pretty dramatic person himself so if you ever want to act out your favourite parts of plays or musicals, he’s ready and willing.

I see Xingqiu as a fan of horror, especially psychological horror. He can’t really explain why he likes it, he just does so expect to be watching and reading a lot of horror stuff with him.

Xingqiu does tend to cause drama sometimes, just for entertainment. He loves hearing your commentary on what’s unfolding and will make his own witty comments as well.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #ninjago #nya smith #genshin impact #xingqiu

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apollowhoo · 2 years ago

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Hello there :) may I please have a DC matchup?

I'm like: "...right, but what's 1+1?" Me wanna know HOW math. Me not wanna know WHY math. Oh, and speaking of math, I hate math.

I also hate watching people argue, because, often, I'll understand both sides, and have an existential crisis over who's right, and who's wrong. Like, if I pick a side, I could pick the WRONG side! What kind of witchcraft is this😱

Fun facts: I was born with weirdly shaped pinky fingers. They're both bent sideways. Apparently it's called "clinodactyli" or something, so that's cool. Also I have OCD, sensory issues and trichotillomania. My favorite movie is Gremlins. One time, I accidentally printed, like, 87 pictures of a cat because I was a dumb 7-year-old, and the entire computer room was flooding with cats. My mom was so mad😂. Also, I'm terrible at videogames. I tried to play World of Warcraft once, and spent over an hour trying to get out of the canyon I accidentally jumped into.

I'm a Genini-Cancer cusp, (technically Gemini) Libra rising. INFP (although, the second time I took a test I got INFJ so idk lol).

(Firstly i just wanted to tell you that 16p test is totally bs🙄. I took it and it kept saying that i was ENFP but my personality doesn’t match with that. So my advice is, just read each description of the personalities and pick the one who suits you the best. I found ESTP the closest to me!)

ANYWAYS

I match you with…

BARBRA GORDON!(Also known as Batgirl or Oracle)

She is a complex character with unique sets of traits. Like you, she is initially portrayed as someone far off, calm, and socially awkward, but she is pretty observant and possesses a sharp sense, making humorist jokes while watching from the sidelines.

Barbara is known for her incredible imagination and love for storytelling, this is noticeable in her role as Oracle. She shares your passion for theatre, writing, and creative business. Additionally, her interest in psychological horror movies could align with your film geek side!

As someone who despises disdain and dislikes overly philosophical discussions, Barbara's very straightforward and blunt personality would resonate with you. In my opinion she's a strong character, but she also has vulnerabilities and struggles with her own daily challenges, which could make her relatable to your basketcase tendencies.

Her experience with being neurodiverse and facing challenges due to her physical disability (she uses a wheelchair) adds depth to her character, much like your experiences with clinodactyli, OCD, sensory issues, and trichotillomania. (I don’t have disabilities so i hope I betrayed this right omg)

Overall, Barbara Gordon's multifaceted personality and ability to adapt to different situations makes her a great matchup for you!!!

#dc universe #dc #dcmatchup #dc comics #barbradc #dcbarbra #dcbarbragordon #barbra gordon #dc barbra gordon #batgirl #bat girl #dc batgirl #dc bat girl #platonic #platonic relationships #relashionship #matchups #batman

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tryst-art-archive · 2 years ago

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July 2011: Drawings

This is a spot where my mental timeline is off, as I would've said this happened in 2014 but apparently not.

I briefly played World of Warcraft in order to understand it, given its massive impact on the game industry. I'd never played before, and I wasn't willing to sink money on it (that was just out of budget), so I played the commercial version (this was the Cataclysm days) on a free trial until I hit level cap, then shifted to two bootleg servers, one of which was a roleplay server that emulated WoW circa Wrath of the Lich King (If I remember correctly), and the other of which was standard play and used Cataclysm.

I had some fun with it, but ultimately it was too grindy and people-y for me. I particularly enjoyed the Worgen, Draenei, and the Hunter class, from what I remember.

However, I've never liked WoW's art style; it's pretty much the exact antithesis of my aesthetic preferences. So I took to drawing my Worgen Hunter as I wished her to be, rather than as she was in-game, and that's what most of these drawings are. (I do think my inability to realize an aesthetic that aligned with my preferences formed part of the reason for my abandoning the game, but it was likely inevitable. I tend to churn out of MMOs because of the amount of time and social they want regardless.)

Honestly, I still like Xivra's look. It'd be fun to revive her as her own, non-WoW thing.

#old art #art archive #WoW #Worgen #Hunter #TrysKits work #oc art #Xivra #anthro #furry #fanart #i guess technically?#10s #2011 #Age 20 #character design #sketch #mild nudity

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sunfoxfic · 2 years ago

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Teacher's laptop was plugged into the projector across the class and there's a clear Discord notification noise that plays. Apparently she plays World of Warcraft. Slay ig

#she's like 50 and has such strong feelings over writing composition #literally obsessed with this woman /pos #rambles

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unfriendly-neighbourhood-he-him · 5 months ago

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IDs below the cut

[ID: image 1: a screenshot saying:

>Be me, playing world of warcraft

>because of reasons that would be a longer story than this one, end up regularly with three german guys

they're all fluent in english, only switching back to german to briefly discuss how to say sometihng in english so i can understand it too

>one guy is my age, one is in his 40s or 50s, and the last one is 15

>from the way they talk, i realise that the kid and the 40 year old know each other irl

>I assume father and son, but apparently the kid is this guys daughters' boyfriend

.we play together, finish quests, a year goes by

>we become legit friends, i start learning german on duolingo to understand at least the basics

>the kid and the other guys daughter break up

>I worry that we'll break apart too

>I dont have any friend irl, so the possibility is unironically devastating

>fortunately the gang stays together, we still play just the same

>one day we're wating for the 40-something to show up, hes late by like 40 minutes and hes never late

>he logs in, and on the background of his mic we hear what sounds like a young woman yelling something in german before slamming the door

>i ask the others what that was. the one my age answers first:

"didnt catch the whole thing, something about not being allowed to start a collection. Was that your girl, Ulf? sounds stormy in there"

"She's good, she's good. She got a new boyfriend, that's all."

"What, you don't like him?"

"Ah, no, no. seems like a good boy and all. i just asked if he plays warcraft"

---

Image 2: Twitter screenshot of a series of texts saying:

grey text: motherfucker

grey text: we broke up a year ago why did i just find out u still play chess on messenger with my dad

grey text: stop

A reply to the twwet reads: Real chess players know just because you lost a queen doesnt mean you give up on a king END ID]

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olivia-dove · 3 months ago

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How much of World of Warcraft can I play without killing anything?

I wanted to jump right into all of the holiday events going on, but now they have a level requirement of 10. (I say "now" because I clearly remember being able to jump right in on a fresh character in the past... but maybe I'm imagining it?) So, I suppose I'll be tromping around Azuremyst Isle for 9 levels.

I’ve made a Draenei, because the first time I did this I played a Draenei Priest. I thought it made sense thematically. But this time I’ve chosen Rogue; their kit just makes my life easier.

How much can I do on Azuremyst Isle without killing anything?

I start the game amongst the wreckage of a spaceship crash. I'm greeted by an injured Draenei informing me I've just awoken from suspended animation and I should go report to some guy down the hill, who immediately demands I kill moths for their blood (apparently it makes a healing potion?). I give that a miss, and head inside the wreck of a space ship to sell off my daggers—I won't be needing them. A quick look around confirmed there was nothing more for me there. Ammen Vale is a valley almost completely surrounded by mountains, so I took the lone path out to Azuremyst Isle proper.

At the mouth of the valley, I spotted an injured scout who asked me to take his report back to Azure Watch. After fording the straight that separates the vale from the isle, I met an injured fisherwoman (I'm sensing a theme...) who wanted me to net some fish from said water. I disturbed a some murloc and had to leg it a few times. Thankfully, they didn’t chase me far, and I was able to return with 10 red snappers. She rewarded me with a fishing pole and offered to teach me how to fish, but fishing requires level 5 and I've only just ding'd 2 by turning in this quest. Then she hands me back a crate of fish and sends me on to Azure Watch with them.

After a short walk west down the path, I arrived in Azure Watch; where the injured were being treated instead of handing out quests. Here, too, the buildings were cobbled together from the wreckage. I dropped off the crate of snapper and was asked to hunt the local stags for their meat. I'll check the auction house...

I took reported to the inn, such as it was, and was promptly sent back out with a supply list bound for the main body of the crashed ship: the Exodar. I took a hippogryph flight there, handed off the list, accepted a box of supplies, and flew back to the inn with it.

Outside the inn, I took a quest to check on a missing fisherman. The local Exarch was trying to recruit me for the Hand of Argus and send me on to Bloodmyst Isle already, telling me to report to the elekk handler outside the Exodar. I filed that away for later.

A nearby scholar was learning to communicate with the local stillpine furbolg people, and was convinced everything about their language could be learned from their totems. I studied the basics runes from his primer, and used that knowledge to start reading a nearby totem. It seemed to spell Akaida, and maybe wanted me to go up a nearby hill. A furbolg ancestor spirit appeared to guide me to there, where I repeated the process on another totem, Coo, understanding a bit more of what I read.

This time the totem and the spirit seemed to be directing me back across the straight(no wait, the crystalbrook river? Isn’t that body of water is just a narrowing of the ocean? Oh, I guess there is a waterfall feeding into it…), to the foot of the mountains surrounding Ammen vale. The ancestor spirit cast a spell on me for slowfalling and waterwalking, so I leapt off the cliff—safely earning the Going Down? achievement—and walked across the water to the next totem : Tikti.

At this point I have a pretty good understanding of the language, and I think that it’s directing me down the river. Which the summoned ancestor spirit confirms by pointing the way and granting me water breathing and increased swim speed.

Once I’ve read the totem at the bottom of the river’s mouth, Yor, I have a perfect grasp of the Stillpine language and can clearly understand that my destination is Bristlelimb Village and how to get there. This time the spirit gives me speed and invisibility—by shapeshifting me into a cat. This makes running clear across the isle, nearly to the western shore, a breeze and I arrive at the last totem: Vark in no time.

Vark tells of a prophecy and wants me to free the captured Stillpine captured by the Bristlelimb. But the cages are locked. The aggressive Bristlelimb furbolgs have the keys, and the only way to get them is to pry them from their cold, dead hands. (At this point in time I didn’t have access to lockpicking or pickpocketing. But even if I did, I know neither would work. An L for roleplay.) So I drop that quest and head halfway back across the isle to Odysseus’ Landing.

There, three ships have dropped anchor off the coast and a small logging operation is underway to fortify the position. The eponymous Admiral Odysseus, of Alliance Navel command, informs me that goblin stowaways stole their navigation equipment and jumped ship, forcing them to make landfall here. He asks me to retrieve the stolen maps and compass. The Dwarven archaeologist was quite excited about the nearby Night Elven ruins and asked me to bring back some artifacts for him. The Night Elven priestess was more interested in exterminating the Naga living there (I silently declined).

First, I headed east along the beach, almost all the way back to the totem of Yor, where the Goblins and Gnolls set up camp. I snuck in, located the map, snatched it… and then ran like hell until they gave up the chase. I repeated this trick with the compass, which was a little spicier; I very nearly needed to use my racial ability to heal: Gift of the Naaru.

When I returned his equipment, the Admiral seemed convinced there was a traitor in their midst. Apparently, the Goblins wrote down their plans and left those documents with the maps—which I snatched. But they neglected to name the traitor and now I’m gathering piles of leaves and a hollow stump for the Admiral’s plan(t) to catch them. These are found right outside the landing, and once I have them, he informs me I will be wearing them to the secret meeting between the Goblin leader and the traitor.

On my way over to the secret meeting, I decide to grab those artifacts. I have time, right? I mean, Odysseus didn’t say when the meeting was, but it’s probably fine. Sneaking amongst the ruins, I grab several artifacts when the Naga aren’t looking. I didn’t even get caught!

From the ruins, I swim south a short distance across the water to Silvermyst Isle. I locate the Naga flag that serves as the meeting signal in a cove and set up my tree disguise. It’s quite convincing, actually. (Well, except that this “tree” is growing in the beach sand.) The Goblin and the (traitor!) Gnome he’s meeting don’t seem to notice, however, and talk all about their plan. Mostly Spark, the Gnome, just yells at the Goblin for nearly blowing his cover.

Eventually they leaf, and I shed my disguise to check on the missing fisherman who lives out here. Following the along coastline, I find him at the end of a pier in front of his house—which has been completely wrecked by a giant crystal that, presumably, fell off the Exodar. The local owlbeasts have been driven mad , presumably, by the crystal’s radiation and ate his family. That’s rough, buddy, but I won’t be cutting open any owlbeasts to find them.

My spidey senses tell me that there’s one more quest to be had on the opposite shore. Once I get there, I find the fisherman’s daughter hiding behind a fallen tree. She asks me to help her get back through the owlbeast infested forest to her home. I think it would be better to follow the eastern shore back around, but I don’t make the paths here. I follow while stealthed, hoping she can handle herself, when she veers off the path, runs over to an owlbeast, and starts punching it. The fight is close, but she loses it. I decide to give it one more go, and return to the quest’s start and await her respawn. It didn’t go any better the second time.

Returning to Odysseus’ Landing, I inform the eponymous admiral that his engineer, Spark, is the traitor. The admiral wants me to get information out of him, but this is another cold, dead hands situation, and so I’m out.

At this point, I’m out of quests I can do on Azuremyst. Time to report to that elekk handler and move on to Bloodmyst Isle. But, before I leave, I wander around the northern half of the isle, uncovering areas of the for the achievement and the experience points.

#it's been a long time since I've written anything #pls bare with me as I find my voice again #World of Warcraft #pacifist challenge #pacifist quest journal #DE plays games as unintended #DE plays WoW

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wyrmguardsecrets · 6 months ago

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So, funny story about characters having "Fandom names." since for once that applies to me. And by funny story I mean my own personal hell. Folks who know me would clock me if I didn't name drop for the punchline, but that's fine, I might as well toss the most unfortunate thing that's ever happened to me straight into a digital cesspit where it belongs because it is incredibly funny to me. I started playing World of Warcraft like, a couple months after launch, right? And my main from the start has been a night elf with short navy hair and an eyepatch. She was also always very short, and I'd use things like Noggin Foggers to emulate that, but eventually I was able to upgrade to Small Feasts in WotLK. I've always liked playing short characters, I just think they're Neat. The same year Small Feasts became available, the same year that I'd been playing my character officially for 4 years, fucking Black Butler comes out a literal month before WotLK. I've been in my lane, hydrated, for four years playing my short grumpy old woman elf, when suddenly I'm constantly being messaged "Is that a black butler reference?" "Oh my god black butler reference!" "I love black butler!" I had no idea what the fuck Black Butler was, but apparently everyone else did. And for YEARS, no one believed me when I said that my short navy haired one eyed elf named Ceil was made four years BEFORE Black Butler ever came out.

Her name was a Megaman Zero reference goddamnit, and Yana Toboso owes me money.

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solardick · 1 year ago

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The emperor

CHARLES THE GREAT EMPEROR

The King is victorious in the Lord; and in the mercy of the Most High he will not be moved.

Thais is because the emperor is sided with the pope.

In waite’s version the emperor which was typically drawn in profile suggested a state of indifference. Its back facing the pope and it’s front facing the Empress, was drawn facing the querent. I separated the eye contact. Into its own being and gave the emperor back his profile.

Probably the worst card in the deck.

I wanted to add vision, and dominion, to responsibilities into the deck. The card, odd if it’s profiled. And not direct, and political. As the masculine doesn’t sidetrack. Though these responsibilties of state and structure need attending. This may be replaced by the infinity card. As the emperor here serves to the land. Materially, politically, financially… as long as it sustains and governizes world structure. For the emperor may also serve here in the personal when robes comes off and it’s dragon has say. The dragon here is more likely in power in various forms of warcraft Or dealings with the physical world itself. Involving all the “ally”’s. Easier to corrupt.

At any rate i don’t think its even possible to get a better card image than that. The emperor staring off into the sun. The eagle surveying the land.

And they keep talking about the girl. They want my attention on her…. Ugh. Ok. Ill give you guys something. She has a sweet little virgin mothers body and id tap that. So hard. Apparently they leaving soon or somesuch. But there’s zero dialogue. I learn nothing. And the youngness doesnt bode well for a relationship, Thats what i see in her. A mother to be. Its not everyday i see a girl that i would like to sleep with. The first one in a good long while. Oh well, i just avoid her now. I tried being social, didn’t work. Bye. Too bad we didn’t work the job together. It would have turned out different. And we’d be more open and sociable together. But, to separate it from sex. Because, that isn’t my disposition. From day one. When she first saw me. There was/is something in the way i am that draws her attention to me. Truth? Ruse? At first, i didn’t pay it heed. Cause, it’s my first day and I’m here to get “oriented”. But after awhile, and the way she acted around me. Playing the dumb broad. Puyting her ass in the air. The purposeful avoidance of eye contact. Is where i started to worry. Oh, and the day she flirted with her co-worker while looking back at me and smiling.

Later on, after the avoidance, it was slow. And i liked watching the production line at work. Get a feel for how it work, for something different to see. The people on the lines, movement, all that. One of the days i did this, she was working at the far end. The build up of blocked energy, the constant listening to others talk about her or at the least mention her. Joined in on the guy talk, anyway, a chancr to see how she moves when im not around. I liked ehat i saw, she’s a good competent worker. Then she turns her head, and locked on to me. I don’t pause, and then she turns around faving aeay from her line. I stay gor a second longer, drum a tap on the skid and go do whatever task. At the end of the shoft she then has it arranged to walk around the corner as im leaving and stares me down. Any appraoch of be social was kept to pre-set no’s. And still avoidance of eye contact. (And yet, always looking my way, if i dont at the same time. I see it in my periphery. I tried a bit longer here and there. Social, flicked for a second. But that was all. So now, i don’t know what, involved with fucken with me? Young, dumb and, naive? Working out frustration? Conveniently being in certain places at certain times. Ok, im done bye.

Don’t ruin my Emperor with your bullshit. It’s like the only good masculine card in the deck.

It’s like one guy surrounded by women, and connected to destruction, loss and solitude. If there was ever a more potent feminist elitist tool out there bound on taking out the king. It’s bot very user friendly.

But the cards are still fun to play with. The searching and puzzling. And i yet couldn’t get in to it. Because wtf is this crap? So i started fiddling with it. Connected dots. And then one day i sat down pulled out the cards to the typewritter layout. And placed each one of the added cards into spot. Just like that. And i kept them like that since. Switching the U and I cards a chose. Because it just made more sense that way.

This of course happened each time i unraveled something else. The high priestess card. She’ll pull out all you need from your memory. Being, a feminine “water” card. (At the time) means that the information isn’t logistic. Its more of a feeling based intuition. Which is why i think she should be kept. But my goal here is to make the deck a little more masculine friendly. In a way that doesn’t dramatically alter what’s known to it. For this causes backlash. Take away a Childs pacifier. Candy from a. Baby and all that. And people will start acting even dumber than im capable of.

Here we want you to wear thise light weight comfortable gloves so you dont cut and scratch her hands, which we need from you. And people start bitching and complaining. And im like. F@$&en’ pussies. Everybody wins. You dont het hurt, your taken care of and production isnt halted. This connects back to the wheel card and industrial production. The “hey ho, let’s go” mentality which is a requirement.

Think i got permanent lung damage scaring for a Christmas present this year.

And it doesnt matter. What one does with the cards. When changing images or modifying the deck. It doesnt matter. On the larger scale of things. It will have no impact in the environment. For no one else will have it. It cant travel. Self closed route. Only if it’s distributed. Then whether anyone knows about it it will get into circulation. But at first keep the circle closed. A close net, network. If it’s alive. It can grow. And now the author has it’s own “paradise”. And that influence eventually grows into the populace. Shaping reality.

Oh the grandeur! The judgement is good.

As you can see. I had little choice in the matter the strength card had to go. It works fantastically, on the political constitution. As of a few of major civilization have the national day on one if not both strength and justice cards. I had to go to astrology to find the connection for austrailia.

As in the american fealty of oath thing they do or used to do everyday before class. That’s a strength justice layout. So it really doesn’t matter if it’s classical strength as violence or strength as harmony. Because in this context it’s plainly visible. Conditional programming. Neither of them though say nothing about fortitude. The tower certainly doesn’t. Neither does the emperor. Wearing armour. Fortitude is a defensive name. Violent strength, under the guise of fortitude speaks its own message. Naw, its pressure from the world. One which one may easily shoulder if what it is serves another purpose of raising it higher. To elevate. That. That is golden.

The emperor isn’t as alone anymore.

As it turns out, the new fortitude card, is still connected to the strength card for harmony. For it is connected to the world card and comes back to the fortitude card by letter. So now the fortitude card shows the masculine elevating his woman. Supporting for her as much of the world as he can.

Or it will show oppression, guilt, shame, depression, debt or anything else that weighs on one’s conscience and spirit. It shows the unwielding. The unfolding against pressures of state. And this brings this card to a Saturn.

Vagina.

Looks better card size. The card for infinity. The dragon here serving in the realm of heaven. Is born of the strength card and of the magician card. One two three. The father, the mother, and the holy child. The number eight when not taken as two separate O’s. One way to look at look at it. The magician is a tricky card when considering layering cards and the various depiction of it. None are wrong in the sense that the sum collective answer is always very near the exact question. As above so below

Or as below so above. Which seems just as accurate. Power of manifestation. Which may just as easily be born not knowing what. The A fool, covering its eyes. As is the ace of the minor arcana without form or knowledge. It’s there. It’s started but it’s isn’t there yet. Though the dragon comes before all this. And would actively sort be god. Or the angel on charge of overseeing opérations. And yet also serves as the masculine principle. The instinctual drive. It can serve as any other card. And be found onto every other card as the fool is suggested to be in the tarot. I’m tired so pardon my sloppyness.

#tarot #tarotblr #qwerty #Emperor

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