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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years ago

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Tracing Time

Disclaimer that I am not a therapist nor bipolar but I have had a therapist so I’m hoping it’s not too awful of a depiction. Also want to add a minor content warning for the ending scene for homophobia, nothing explicit or even verbal, just a woman with an icky vibe.

Wednesday, 16:04

Song: Haux - Youth

Sander tips his head against the back of the couch and stares at the fan in the corner. It drones in slow circles, doing little more than disturbing the air right in front of it. It still makes the air in the room chilly enough that Sander is glad he’s wearing a sweater, though.

Between it and the window is an ‘abstract’ painting of the brain. Abstract in that the supposed organ is actually scattered in pieces throughout the canvas, all in various states of destruction. One has trees growing out of it, for example. Another is on fire; it’s Sander’s favourite.

He’d stared at it with an absurd sort of fascination in his first session, almost two years ago now, and his therapist, Agathe, had simply smiled at him and asked if he liked art. It was a sneaky way in, but he supposed that was the point. These meetings have gotten fewer and farther apart over that time, now that he can supposedly manage himself to a high enough standard on his own. Well, not quite enough, he supposes, or he probably wouldn’t be here at all. He can practically hear Agathe’s rebuke that they are just ‘casual check-ins’, and Sander is free to go whenever he pleases.

At every one of those reminders, Sander debates doing exactly that—getting up and going. Instead, he usually ends up slumping sullenly for a few minutes before Agathe prods her way back in.

They haven’t been mandatory in a long time, these sessions, but now there’s just something...reassuring. There are still times he doesn’t bother making an appointment, but knowing he can, and knowing that someone with the right knowledge doesn’t see any reason to worry about him, leaves a pretty damn good sense of relief.

And he did have a bit of a blip, at the start of the year. A few days in which he had to be prodded and coerced into just taking a drink of water, and had spent the majority of in his room. It had overlapped the holidays, so he’d let Robbe come and cocoon himself with him for a good chunk of the time.

It hadn’t made him better. But it made him...safe, or something similar, and that was the most he could hope for.

It was the coming-out-of-nowhere aspect that had shaken him a bit. He’d felt better, just keeping up his sessions then, being sure that he was at least doing alright with his medication. It’s working okay, the sitting and talking, so he shows up and just lets Agathe keep making sure.

The door cracks open now and she slips back in, dropping into the couch across from Sander and shooting him her usual calm, too-happy smile through light lipstick. It brings out her dimples. She’s not yet marred by wrinkles, but there’s something soft and aging about her face, anyway. Maybe it’s the graying roots. “Sorry about that, I forget this thing way too often.” She holds up the clipboard she’d carried in with an exasperated sigh, murmuring under her breath as she flicks through it and gets settled.

It’s all painfully familiar. It makes Sander smile.

He does like her. He’s never bothered denying that.

“So, how are we today?” It’s the same way she always starts, though it’s usually accompanied by—ah, there we go—clasped hands and another smile.

“Good,” Sander says. It’s automatic, but he also means it. Today is fine. It’s good.

She raises her brow when he doesn’t offer anything else. “Alright, good. Belated birthday wishes are in order, I believe?”

“Yeah, thank you. Just yesterday.”

She nods, and Sander does not think about how that was dumb when she obviously already knows. But she just settles back and crosses her legs. “Did you do anything to celebrate?”

Sander’s lips finally stretch in a smile of his own. He thinks it’s probably a little dopey, a little lovestruck, and she probably knows exactly what he’s going to say before he opens his mouth. “I had breakfast with my parents because Robbe took me out for dinner. Then he had a surprise party planned at our friends’ flat.”

“A party on a school night?” Agathe’s brows raise, and she shakes her head with a small laugh. “How do they deal with that today?”

“No clue,” Sander breathes out a huff of his own, trying not to feel overly amused by how Gilles had been in the class they shared with Sander earlier in the day. For once, they hadn’t said a word, just sat with their head down for the entire lecture, wincing every now and then when Sander laughed. He hadn’t even heard from any of the others, but Robbe had looked dead on his feet this morning, as well. He’d sent Sander a slightly sunnier selfie about half an hour ago, though, so he’s probably fine. “Not very well, I imagine.”

She tilts her head. “You seem well enough.”

“Well, I wasn’t drinking,” Sander shrugs.

At this, her serene little smile returns and her nod seems approving, and even though Sander hadn’t been looking for it, he grudgingly admits that it feels good. “I know that can be a difficult choice, and I’d rarely be able to make it myself,” she laughs again. “It’s great that you feel strong and comfortable enough in that group to do your own thing.”

Sander can’t help a little snort. “Are you kidding? It was one of them that had me drinking mocktails.”

“Really?” Agathe grins.

“Yeah, but then he got kinda drunk, and the last couple he made me were just disgusting because he thought these awful mixtures would be a really good idea.”

She laughs gently. “Well, it seems like it’s not the worst. ‘He’ isn’t Robbe?”

Sander shakes his head. “No, but one of his friends.”

“And what about Robbe, then? How is he?”

“Good.” A soft smile steals over his face. “The best, as always.”

“Treating you well.”

Sander’s smile widens, and he raises his brows without saying anything.

Agathe points at him. “Not what I meant, and not what I need to know.”

“I thought we can talk about whatever I want in here,” Sander says innocently.

“Alright, then,” she acquiesces. “Tell me all about it.”

Sander blanches. He thinks about it, opens his mouth, and then thinks about it some more. Closes his mouth again.

Her smile is downright devious. “That’s what I thought.”

He huffs. “It’s very healthy, just so you know.”

“I am sure.”

“Explorative. Always consenting, of course. Frequent.”

“All very normal and well for teenage boys,” she nods, and it would be completely serious if Sander couldn’t see her eyes twinkling. She pauses. “Although, I can’t call you that anymore. How does it feel to be twenty?”

Sander narrows his eyes. “Nice change of subject.”

“Oh, if you had more to say, please continue. Just a thought that occurred to me, I don’t mean to steer you, you know that.”

He does know that, and it makes him pause, because. How does it feel to be twenty? He realises he hasn’t thought about it. He realises that’s probably a good thing—that he didn’t get stuck on his birthday this year, that it was something he just enjoyed. Maybe it was simply going to sleep next to Robbe that helped, but no anxiety had taken over at the end of the day.

Even after his conversation with Jens. It’s not the most prominent part of the day of Sander’s mind even now. Instead he finds himself tucking his hand into his pocket and grasping Robbe’s key, running his thumb over the already familiar ridges.

He hadn’t even been worrying about his major fuck-up with his assignment. He’s still not.

He’s not really giving himself the chance.

Should he be?

“It feels the same as being nineteen,” he says finally. “I didn’t become a different human in a day, sadly.”

He can see her latching on. “Why do you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“‘Sadly’?”

“It’s just...a joke.”

“Okay. But why do you think it’s funny?”

It annoys him, because she’s not judgmental. She’s neither amused nor disappointed. Just curious, earnest, all focused and attentive as she gazes calmly, patiently at Sander. Even his attempt at throwing her off, making her awkward, hadn’t shaken her. She remains unfazed, as always. It’s annoying.

“I don’t,” he admits, “I guess. I don’t know what I’d consider it.”

Agathe nods, softening in her understanding, and it makes something twist in his chest. “Are you not happy with the human you are, Sander?”

He gives her a bland look. When she keeps waiting, he shrugs, gesturing at the room.

“I know,” she says gently, “that of course, you feel you would be happier without your illness. But who you are now—what you study, what you’re passionate about, who you surround yourself with, how you live your life day to day. Do you wish all of that was different?”

Sander doesn’t have to think about it quite as much. “No. But I—“

He cuts himself off, hesitating. She raises her brows and nods, prompting him onwards but not pushing. If he really wants to wait her out, she’ll move on.

“I just wish that it was easier,” he says.

She tilts her head. “Easier how?”

“I messed up. At college. I completely missed an assignment because I mixed up the dates with another one.”

She winces in sympathy. “And what happened in that case? Does that mean that assignment is marked as a fail?”

“No,” Sander admits. “He gave me the time I thought I’d have to do it. Marked it down as an extension. It’s due on Friday now.”

“And is it going alright?”

“Yes.”

“You aren’t struggling with it too much?”

“No.”

“Then it seems like a fairly simple mistake. Easy to make and also, thankfully, easy to fix for you. It’s not unusual. But do you see it as an effect or consequence of your illness? Is that why it bothers you?”

Sander is quiet.

She sets her clipboard aside and leans forward, clasping her hands again as she considers him. “You have to remember, Sander, that all humans are not without fault. That regardless of who we are or what we may have to deal with, we will inevitably make mistakes. Not every slip up is a reflection of you, or a sign of failure, of failing health. You’ve actually been doing very well for a long time, now. But this belief, or this worry, that it is taking a hold of you again can sometimes help it take on that direction. Do you know what I mean?”

He takes a moment to absorb the words before nodding, knowing that if he answers too quickly she won’t believe he’s listening. But he does know. He understands. He hates that she’s probably right.

“So in a situation like this,” she continues, “do you not think, that it is more beneficial for you to focus on correcting your mistake and the fact that you have that ability? Not only mentally, but overall. That your professor is so understanding must mean he thinks well of you.”

He shouldn’t ask. He does anyway, quietly. “You don’t think it’s just pity, or something?”

“No,” she huffs. “No, I do not. Did he give you the impression that that was why he was doing it?”

Sander rolls his shoulders, adjusting his position. “No.”

Her smile returns. “I think,” she says slowly, “that this all shows just how well you’re doing. That you can acknowledge your doubts are likely just that—doubts—and that you take responsibility when you mess up and try to rectify it. Do you not think those are all good things? Things just as healthy as your sex life?”

It shocks a laugh out of him, and he sees her eyes crinkle. “Maybe,” he allows. “But it really is very healthy. I don’t know if anything else should be forced to live up to the standard.”

She represses a smile. “I remember there was a time when you would never have even spoken about this in such a kind way.”

She’s right. It still freaks him out, sometimes, the hypersexuality that can be induced by his mania, and it even made him hold back from Robbe after his episode, at the beginning. The last thing he wanted was to freak Robbe out, or disgust him, or make him uncomfortable. Then Robbe had seemed downtrodden for about a week before hesitantly asking Sander if he’d done something wrong or if Sander wasn’t actually attracted to him, and Sander had corrected his doubts and behaviour fairly quickly, because how dare the most beautiful boy in the universe think that?

“How do you feel you’re doing, Sander?” Agathe asks. “Because although I can observe, only you can feel what you feel. If you are genuinely worried, we can talk about it.”

“No,” Sander admits, after a moment. “I think everything is okay, actually.” Which is the best it can ever be, really.

Now her smile is genuinely happy. “I think so, too. And I think, even if it comes about that it’s not, you have a better support than ever. Do you agree?”

That one’s easy. “Yes.”

“It’s important to remember,” she adds, “maybe more than anything else, that if a lapse or an episode or whatever does occur, it’s not the end of the world. It’s also not a reflection of you, or a failure. Bad days, bad weeks, that’s all a part of life, and something we know you’re more than capable of dealing with and getting past. I’ve watched you do it many times before now and it’s an admirable, wonderful thing.”

Sander doesn’t actually know what to say to that. He just swallows, and feels oddly emotional, and offers her a slight nod.

The rest of the session passes in a lighter atmosphere. She lets him ramble about his assignment to alleviate what stress he does feel over it, and they spend the leftover minutes discussing his party.

Sander considers talking to her about the other thing on his mind, but ultimately decides against it. She’s already taught him how to work through that, and he really doesn’t think it will help to be putting it back into open air. Instead he leaves with a fairly upbeat farewell, and heads in the opposite direction from home.

Robbe had texted him about where he was meeting with Yasmina for a study session, and it takes Sander less than ten minutes of walking to get to the small cafe from his appointment. He sees the two of them as soon as he enters, but neither of them notice him, so he moves to the counter to buy himself a coffee before making his way over.

He’s a couple of feet away when Yasmina catches sight of him and offers her bright smile, and then Robbe is looking over his shoulder.

“Hello,” Sander greets them both, grinning as he cups Robbe’s cheek and leans down to kiss the crown of his head. “I can see we’re very busy.”

Robbe has his hand wrapped around Sander’s wrist, preventing him from pulling away. He turns his head and presses a sweet kiss to Sander’s palm, nuzzling lightly against it. Sander lets his fingers slip over and tug gently on the boy’s earring before Robbe tangles their hands together and offers Sander his crinkly smile. “Hi.”

“Not anymore, I guess,” Yasmina says dryly, but she’s still grinning when Sander glances back at her.

He raises his hands; well, his free one. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” He hadn’t, really, he’d just wanted to be here when they were done to take Robbe home. He always likes being in the other boy’s company after a therapy session. Despite them not being quite so heavy at the moment, it’s always draining. Robbe is always able to replenish him with soft touches and soothing kisses, providing Sander with a silent, comforting company.

“Don’t be silly,” Robbe rebukes, predictably, swinging Sander’s hand idly now. “How are you?”

Sander squeezes his hand. “Good. I’m surprised you look so healthy, though.”

Robbe groans and buries his face against Sander’s arm. “Don’t. I’m suffering in silence.” He tilts his head ‘subtly’ at Yasmina.

Yasmina raises her brows at him, somehow managing to look wholly unimpressed and teasing all at once. “At least you can stave it off with sugar and coffee.”

Robbe has the sense to look sheepish, ducking his head in a nod. “You’re right, sorry, sorry.” He lets out a sigh. “You’re on too high of a level for me, Yasmina.”

“Queen shit,” Sander agrees, just to earn one of the girl’s unimpressed glances for himself. “Should I run now?”

She rolls her eyes. “Just sit down and drink your coffee. And keep your hands to yourself, if you can manage it? I still need my study partner, thank you.”

Sander grins and obeys, swinging a seat from the next table around to join them, dropping into it happily. He doesn’t place it as close to Robbe’s as he’d like, but Robbe leans into him for a moment anyway before refocusing his attention on his friend.

For the first while, Sander is content to listen and sip his coffee, feeling tiredness begin to creep into his bones. He lets his head loll against his own shoulder, trailing his eyes over Robbe’s profile and drifting into a sort of daydream. He can see the boy’s lips moving, but he has no idea what either of them are saying. They only let out the occasional comment, trading questions and answers and sighs and mutters. Robbe’s eyes are still red and a little puffy, a sign of his lingering exhaustion. He rubs at them absently as he looks down at his book and lets out another sigh, and leaves an eyelash on his cheek.

Sander reaches out and gently swipes it away with his thumb, an entirely mindless action that has Robbe looking at him in surprise before breaking out into a smile. He catches Sander’s hand before Sander can withdraw it completely, laying it on the table next to him. Instead of holding it, Robbe runs his hand along Sander’s sleeve, rubbing the soft seam between his fingers as he continues his work.

For some reason, it makes Sander blush. He’s sure his smile is unbearably happy, and he flicks a glance at Yasmina just to make sure she doesn’t know, only to catch her eye. She’s already smiling at him, and she purses her lips and raises her brows, teasing. Sander pulls a face at her, and she simply shakes her head as her smile widens.

“Can you work on your assignment while you’re waiting for us?” Robbe questions suddenly, drawing Sander’s attention back with a tilt of his head.

Sander glances at his bag, which he’s carried with him all day since he had to go straight to his session from a class. He considers for a moment but ultimately shakes his head. With yesterday being an exception, he usually prefers working at night—and when it’s not cutting into time he could otherwise spend admiring Robbe. “I’ll work on it when I go home,” he promises. Then, because he can’t help himself, “You’re too distracting.”

Robbe’s grin is small, and exasperated, but he yearns towards Sander, leaning across the table. Sander meets him and presses a quick kiss to his lips, then his nose, his cheek, before resolutely sitting back and waving at the textbooks and notes strewn in front of them. Robbe’s grin turns into a pout for half a second before he squeezes Sander’s wrist and focuses again.

Sander sinks back with a sigh, enjoying the feeling of Robbe’s fingers brushing against his wrist and skimming his hand, but he doesn’t feel quite as settled. There’s a prickle skittering over his neck, and he looks to his side and finds a woman staring at him.

Her nose is screwed, and there’s a vague curl to her lip. The disgust in her expression only heightens as Sander meets her eye and she flicks her gaze down to where Robbe’s hand rests over his. Sander can only stare back, dumbfounded.

When she looks at his face again, he raises his brows, as utterly bored as he can manage, and it only takes a moment for her to look away and get out of her seat across the cafe.

Sander tenses as she gets closer, hand enclosing around Robbe’s entirely, but she merely offers him another look before leaving. He deflates, squeezing Robbe’s fingers. It’s only when Robbe squeezes back that he panics again and quickly looks at the boy. But Robbe is in the middle of asking Yasmina a question, neither of them having noticed a thing.

“I meant to wish you a happy birthday,” Yasmina says, breaking him out of the moment. His mind has fogged over, and it takes him a moment to process the words. By then, she’s already moving on. “How was the party, anyway?”

Robbe and Sander share a look, and Yasmina waits. “Jens hardly said a word to me the whole day,” Robbe tells Sander, but he seems more amused than upset, so Sander allows himself to laugh.

“You didn’t tell him we didn’t actually do anything?”

“I did!” Robbe raises his hands. “He didn’t believe me.”

“What, what did you do to Jens?” Yasmina asks, confused. Then, after a second, “You know what, no, I probably don’t want to know.”

She cringes, and Robbe apologises profusely as Sander bursts into laughter, the weird incident from moments ago already forgotten.

Totally forgotten.

~^~

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#wtfock #sobbe #rosander #robbe x sander #sander driesen #sander season #tracing time #had to have yasmina in here at some stage!

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murasaki-murasame · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep22

All of this ‘the culprit’s motives are super shallow and they’re just unhealthily obsessive’ discourse is giving me war flashbacks to . . . . basically every other part of the entire When They Cry franchise, lol.

Thoughts under the cut. [Plus spoilers for Umineko]

I feel like at the end of the day we’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree about how we feel about how Ryukishi is handling Satoko as the culprit here, since I don’t really think any amount of social media posts detailing our interpretations of her character are gonna change anyone’s minds, lol. But I’m still gonna give my thoughts on her anyway because it’s fun, even if I’m basically just preaching to the choir.

To be honest, this feels pretty much in line with how Ryukishi already wrote characters like Takano and Beatrice, in terms of them having unhealthy obsessions that lead them to mass-murder. The amount of violence Satoko has caused is arguably worse than either of them, but they’re all pretty awful if you think about the reality of what they all did as villains.

Sorta like with how a lot of the old-school Umineko discourse went, I think people are too focused on the whole idea of Satoko hating studying, and ignoring everything else about her character and her circumstances. Although even then I feel like people are being kinda unfair toward Satoko about how strongly she feels about academics, but maybe I’m just biased because of my own history with schooling and the intense levels of anxiety and self-hatred that can go along with it.

Plus the fact that Satoko already has a long history of sever abandonment issues, and has basically always had HS that amplified her feelings of paranoia and persecution. It’s pretty obvious at this point that she never really got ‘cured’ in the first place, though it’s less important to think about HS as an in-universe fictional disease with it’s own rules, and more important to just think about it as a representation of real-life mental illnesses which aren’t bound by the rules of made-up brain-worm parasites and aliens or whatever.

Also, the Satoko that started all this looping in the first place was one who never dealt with Teppei returning to the village, and thus never went through her whole character arc related to that. The series is kinda ambiguous about how it handles the idea of people’s character development carrying over between loops, but it explains a lot about Satoko’s attitude here if you go with the idea that she never really had to overcome any of her trauma or coping mechanisms in the “good ending timeline”, and this is the consequence of that taken to it’s logical extreme. The idea of her view of the world being skewed by the fact that she only remembers the “good ending timeline” is also kinda lamp-shaded by the part where she hears about Rika’s looping and is like “oh yeah, that’s the month where we had that cool action movie stand-off with the Mountain Dogs :)”. By the time she really got to understand exactly what was going on beyond the specific timeline she had experienced, she was already way over the edge.

I get why people don’t like the idea of Gou ‘tainting’ the VN’s happy ending, but I honestly like the idea that it’s examining the consequences of how Matsuribayashi was such an overly-specific timeline where basically nothing bad happened and everyone just banded together to beat Takano. It kinda glossed over a lot of the personal problems that the main cast had in the rest of the series, and this really goes to show the effects of some of that stuff not getting properly addressed. It also reminds me that Minagoroshi is a timeline that even in the VN, Rika completely lost her memories of, so I can see how even post-Matsuribayashi she might have never let Satoko know about the details of that one timeline where she overcome her abuse.

I also feel like it only really got to this point because of Featherine’s meddling. In the original Matsuribayashi timeline, Satoko just started drifting away from Rika and ended up wandering into the Saiguden and meeting Featherine before anything actually serious happened in that timeline. I think that if she had just been left to her own devices and that timeline had just kept going, Satoko probably would have either found a way to reconnect with Rika, or they would have just slowly drifted apart for good. But then Satoko got given the power to time travel, and only started going off the deep end after going through another five years of identical suffering.

And on that whole note, it reminds me of how in Umineko, Lambda had a whole conversation about the idea of an abused person becoming an abuser themself if they’re given the power to lash out. Which is basically what’s happening here. Satoko is being given the tools to completely detach herself from reality and try as many times as she likes to get what she wants.

Which also reminds me that this episode in particular REALLY lays the Umineko parallels on thick, lol. Particularly the whole ‘Satoko is turning into Lambda’ thing, which feels just about 100% confirmed now. They straight up have Featherine bring up the exact same ‘monkeys using a typewriter’ analogy to explain Rika’s situation that Lambda uses in Umineko to explain Bern’s situation.

I know a lot of people don’t like the increasingly blatant Umineko tie-ins, and that a lot of people still think it might just be misdirection, but considering how much stuff in Gou has been surprisingly straightforward and predictable, I think it’s pretty much exactly what it seems to be.

Though to be more specific, this is probably more about the start of Lambda and Bern’s relationship, and their appearances in Umineko, rather than the very first origins of them as individuals, if that makes sense. Obviously the concept of Bernkastel as an identity has been around since Higurashi itself, and we’ve known for a long time that Lambda was the one who originally gave Takano her blessing of certainty, but we’ve never known the full details of how those two started their relationship, and Featherine’s whole series of name-drops in the last episode makes it seem like Lambda as a meta individual more or less already exists, with Satoko being an iteration of her. So I think they both technically already exist, but this is how the two of them come into contact and start their whole unhealthily obsessive relationship.

I guess it’s still possible that, even if she’s already existed for a long time as a meta individual, she hasn’t actually come up with the name ‘Lambdadelta’ for herself yet, and this might be where she does so. Even with the list of names Featherine referenced, she didn’t technically bring up Lambda’s name directly. So in that sense this might be ‘Lambda’s’ origin story, even if she already exists.

Considering how basically the entire story at this point seems to be acting in service of setting up the whole LambdaBern relationship dynamic no matter what, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that this will end with Satoko and Rika fully embracing their codependency and mutually ascending to the meta plane so they can stay together once and for all. There might still be human versions of them that stay behind in the real world and continue living normal lives, though.

At the very least, it feels like that’s the logical outcome of the whole Chekov’s Sword Fragment plot device that’s been hanging in the background for ages now. I think it’ll just be the in-universe explanation they use to show the mechanics of how exactly that process works. It’ll probably be used to ‘sever’ Satoko and Rika’s meta consciousnesses from their physical bodies and allow them to basically become witches.

Mainly I just can’t really see this having a ‘happy ending’ at this point, aside from the whole idea that maybe the severing process leaves behind ‘normal’ versions of the two of them who stay in Hinamizawa and go back to their normal lives. I dunno if that’d make people happy, but it’d at least be a way for Ryukishi to have his cake and eat it too, lol.

I just don’t think that there’s any real chance of this ending with them just talking to each other and agreeing to put an end to all this, though. For one thing that’d just feel kinda anticlimactic and honestly make Gou’s story feel even MORE pointless, if it just ends with literally the exact same ending as the VN with nothing really being changed. But I also feel like Featherine wouldn’t be willing to just let Satoko ‘give up’ without having one of them definitively win their current game. In general I just feel like Ryukishi should just commit to the story he’s setting up at this point, instead of just backing out at the last minute and circling everything back to the same ending we already had like nothing in Gou ever happened. If we’re gonna have this whole new story to begin with, it should at least have some lasting consequences.

Anyway, I think in the next episode we’re finally going to loop back to the Damashi arcs and see how they played out. At this point I don’t care too much about getting answers to the ground-level mysteries of those arcs, and I doubt the story will spend much time on that, but I’m curious to see how it progresses Satoko’s whole development through these loops, since I think she goes through some changes with her motives and methods over the course of them.

Specifically I think that the actual experience of being physically present in her own set of loops and causing so much pain and suffering started to get to her, and she might have almost given up in her own way during Tataridamashi and wanted to just stay in that arc, but things went south anyway. Maybe, if that’s what happened, Featherine basically let her know that she won’t let her give up, and will force her to keep looping until one of them ‘wins’ no matter what. Either way, I think that arc was a turning point for her. Like how she asked Featherine to arrange things so that Satoko can make sure that she and Rika’s loops are synced up, she probably asked Featherine after that arc to change the rules again so that Rika will start remembering the details of her deaths. At this point it’s pretty obvious that the Hanyuu fragment Rika was talking to earlier in Gou was more or less just Featherine putting on an act and manipulating her, so the scene of Hanyuu giving her the power to remember her deaths was probably just Featherine telling her about the rule change.

And going by how the Nekodamashi arc went immediately afterward, I think that rule change was related to Satoko becoming increasingly desperate to put an end to the loops as soon as possible. And considering how she was willing to spend so much time reviewing Rika’s hundred years of looping just to prepare for this, it’d make sense to me if she becomes desperate because she basically gives up, but realizes that she isn’t actually allowed to give up, so she has to try and make Rika give in as fast as possible. Either way it’s pretty obvious that Satoko’s methods start becoming more violent in that arc, and she basically tries to brute-force Rika into submission, leading up to the loop where she just spawn-camps her and straight up starts screaming at her to just stay in the village while tearing out her guts. It’s still possible that her attitude in that loop was just one big act, but I think that was the result of her being genuinely desperate to just have Rika give up once and for all, and her starting to crack under the pressure of doing all of these things with her own hands across so many loops.

So now we’ll just have to see how the confrontation between them at the end of Nekodamashi plays out once we get back to it. In the long run I just think it’ll lead to the ending I talked about before, with them using the sword on each other. The exact nuances of how that sorta ending might play out are up in the air, though.

Either way, I think there’s probably enough time to wrap up all that in two more episodes, but there’s still reason to believe that there might be some kind of sequel in the works. I don’t really want to bet on it, though, so I’m just gonna assume that there’s two episodes left and base my theories on that. In which case I think the next episode will go over the Damashi arcs and end with Rika and Satoko’s confrontation at the end of Nekodamashi, and then the final episode will wrap everything up. Considering that they both more or less know exactly what’s going on with each other by that point, there isn’t really that much that needs to be wrapped up. I think that will be the final loop we get, so it’ll all just come down to how their confrontation plays out, and what decision they come to about how to handle each other.

I honestly don’t really know how I think a full sequel would go, if it’s at least one cour long. Assuming that it’s not just a new Umineko anime that more or less continues Rika and Satoko’s arc via Lambda and Bern, but is a straight up ‘Higurashi Gou Season 2′. It just feels like there isn’t really that much that needs to be done to wrap things up, now that everything’s being laid out in the open, and Rika and Satoko are both aware of each other’s looping. They might switch it up so that they both end up teaming up to take down Featherine, but I kinda doubt that’ll happen.

I’m still hoping this is leading into some kind of new Umineko anime though, lol. That feels like it’d be the main reason for putting so much effort into this whole elaborate LambdaBern origin story we’re getting here.

I’ve heard rumors that there’s been listings for a 25th episode of Gou, so it’s possible that rather than another full season, there’s just one extra episode at the end. I’m not exactly sure what the point of doing one extra unannounced episode at the end would be, though. It might end up being a bridge between Gou and a new Umineko anime.

At the very least, if it’s just ‘Satokowashi Part 8′, it makes me wonder why they haven’t announced it yet, and why they didn’t just split that arc into two BD volumes with four episodes each, instead of having it be one big volume with seven episodes, and one random episode at the end for some reason. But if it’s more of an epilogue or a bridge of sorts between Gou and something else, with Gou’s story concluding with episode 24, then I guess it’d make some sense to do it that way.

We also know there’s gonna be a panel for Gou at a convention around when ep24 comes out, so if anything gets announced it’ll probably happen there.

Anyway, this whole episode can be summed up as “Satoko does a gay little psychological torture that pisses Rika off”, in the most morbidly entertaining way possible, lmao.

#murasaki reblogs #higurashi #higurashi gou

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iamanartichoke · 3 years ago

Note

Congrats on follower milestone! I greatly enjoy your presence on my dash with your thoughts and witty tags and all :) For the Loki writing prompt, here's a sort of idea or mood or emotion, very vague, but maybe you can make something of it, and if not, totally cool! Prompt: Mobius taking care of Loki.

@humbae Thanks so much for your kind words as well as the prompt! I kinda just took the "taking care of" idea and had Mobius do the bare minimum, bc it's angstier that way, but I hope you like it anyway.

Summary: Takes place immediately after the end of episode 1; Loki has a realization and Mobius kinda maybe cares. Word Count: 1460 Author’s notes: Please forgive the quality, I started this earlier today and wanted to post it before watching the finale, so I finished the last bit of it in a less-than-alert state, merp.

“What’s this?” Loki asks. He can’t keep the edge of suspicion out of his voice.

“It’s tea,” Mobius says, as if it’s obvious. He sets the red mug down in front of Loki. “What we normally do is drink it.”

The suspicion doesn’t leave him. Loki eyes the mug, wondering if he’d even be able to tell if Mobius had done something nefarious to it - but, there would be little point in Mobius going to the trouble of intervening in Loki’s “trial” and recruiting him to the TVA only to turn around and poison him so, despite himself, Loki picks up the mug and takes a cautious sip.

“Hope you like chamomile,” Mobius adds as he takes the seat across from Loki. “It’s all I could find.”

“It’s passable,” Loki says, after a longer sip. When was the last time he’d had anything to drink? He can’t remember; the blur of New York shifts too sharply into the shock of the TVA and his brain feels too muddled to grasp onto any specifics. There’s been a consistent twisting in his stomach for days; he doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s eaten, either.

Mobius is just watching him and Loki hunches his shoulders, a bit defensively. “What,” he says, setting down the mug.

Mobius shrugs. “You’re not the first Loki variant to come through here,” he responds. Before, when he’d been questioning Loki, everything about his posture had been straight and precise; now that the interrogation is over, Mobius has adopted a much more casual stance, leaning against the back of his chair with his legs slightly outstretched. “There’ve been a lot.”

“How many is a lot?” Loki’s mind is still spinning from the revelation that the rogue variant they’re hunting is another version of himself, but the idea of even more being out there just makes him feel slightly ill. There would be a crisis here, were Loki in a clearer headspace - something about how it could be possible for more than one version of himself to exist, and if those versions existed, what proof does he have that he, himself, in this moment, also exists? How does he know he is the real Loki? Is there a real Loki?

Apparently, he is in a clear enough headspace for a minor crisis. He wraps his hands around the mug, waiting for Mobius to answer.

“I don’t know,” is all Mobius says. “I’ve lost count, to be perfectly honest with you. You’re like a bad penny, you know - you just keep turning up. You’re a stubborn bastard, I’ll give you that.”

“Thank you.” Loki’s tone is icy. “So if there are so many other variants, why not prune me? What do you think I can do for you that they couldn’t?”

Mobius looks thoughtful for a moment before he shrugs. “Call it a hunch, I guess.”

Wonderful. Loki’s entire existence rests on this bureaucrat of a man’s hunch. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t find that particularly reassuring,” he counters. “How do I know you won’t simply prune me either once we find this other variant, or once I stop being useful to you?”

“What, whichever comes first?” Mobius’s lips tilt slightly upward. “I suppose you don’t.”

Loki slumps a bit in his chair. He’s still holding onto the mug and, for lack of anything else to do, brings it back to his lips. Chamomile, Mobius had called it. It tastes like honey, with just the slightest tinge of apples, and it makes Loki think of the fruit in Idunn’s orchard, how they melted on his tongue like sugar. He remembers dewy summer evenings, laying in the grass with Thor, each of them with a golden apple’s sticky sweetness coating their lips and teeth.

The back of his throat tightens and he focuses on the tea, blinking hard against the sudden sting of tears. Crying in front of Mobius is not something he wants to make a habit of.

Still - “In the desert, when your hunters set off those reset chargers …”

“They pruned the alternate timeline you created when you took off with the tesseract, yeah.” Mobius adjusts his position, straightening up and leaning forward, elbows on the table. “You - that is, the you that’s supposed to exist - never escaped. Your brother took you back to Asgard.”

“And the sacred timeline continues as it should.” The twisting in Loki’s stomach worsens, and it has nothing to do with hunger. “Which means I can never return to Asgard, because he’s already there.”

Mobius’s forehead creases a bit as he nods. He looks almost sympathetic. “You don’t have a place there, no,” he agrees.

A heavy silence falls over them. Loki doesn’t need Mobius to spell it out any further. Loki, the Loki he is right now, will never see Thor again. Nor his mother, or even Odin … but mostly, not Thor. His brother is the worst kind of gone, because he’s not dead, nor lost. He exists on the sacred timeline, forever separated from Loki, and none the wiser to Loki’s absence. He’ll never know that Loki is gone, because the correct Loki is still right where he should be - rotting in Asgard’s dungeons, perhaps, but home all the same.

Rage wells up inside of him, swift and cutting. He pushes away from the table and jumps to his feet so abruptly that even Mobius startles, but before he can do anything, Loki has hurled the red mug against the wall and it shatters, tea and glass shards clattering to the floor. “It isn’t fair,” he snarls; he pushes his hands through his hair, yanking hard at the strands yet the sting of it barely even registers. "That's not fair."

“Loki -”

Loki barely hears him. He drops his hands and clenches his fists; the rage is pressing against his throat, desperate for escape. He wants to scream. He wants to hurl magic in every direction. He truly wants to burn this place to the ground - the TVA, the timekeepers, and every person within it who is complicit in taking away entire realities with hardly a thought spared to the variants left behind.

He’s breathing hard. The trouble is, all of that anger has nowhere to go. Loki cannot bring himself to explode the way he wants to - with neither his magic nor the ability to set fire to the timekeepers’ hearts here and now, the only other option he’s got is to throw things, and he’s hurled enough chairs for today.

Closing his eyes, Loki turns in a circle, grabbing the back of his chair. Instead of throwing it, he leans forward, pressing all of his weight against it because he isn’t sure he can hold himself up. The effort it takes to keep from screaming is leaving him light-headed. Not Thor. Please, please don’t take Thor from me.

“Loki,” Mobius says again. Loki draws in a breath and lets it out slowly, and then opens his eyes and looks up. Mobius is hovering over him, but somehow he’s less dominating than he’d been before. He seems almost concerned - either that, or just plain tired. “Look, I get it. I get that you’re upset, but -”

“How?” Loki demands. His voice is hardly more than a growl. “The timekeepers made you. You’ve never lost anyone. You’ve never known anything besides this … this nightmare.” Frustrated, he pushes away from the chair and gestures broadly at the room around them. “Don’t tell me you get it.”

Mobius sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re right,” he agrees, “I suppose I don’t get it. But I can’t change what you’ve lost, either. All I can do is -”

“I know,” Loki cuts him off, and now he is the one who feels just plain tired. Just as swiftly as the rage had crashed over him, it was now receding again, leaving Loki feeling drained and so, so exhausted. “All you can do is offer me opportunity.” Not salvation. Not anything useful.

Instead of replying, Mobius just puts his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “Why don’t we start fresh tomorrow,” he suggests. “Okay? ‘Cause I can also offer you your benefits package, if you’re interested. Involves a hot meal and a place to sleep.” His lips quirk a little. “No offense, but you look like you could use both, like, yesterday.”

Loki eyes the other man. Mobius’s features blur a bit, and he realizes it’s because his eyes have welled up. He rubs them and then sighs and nods, giving in because what else is he to do? This is what he has been reduced to - powerless, with nowhere else to go, his entire existence contingent upon getting in - and staying in - Mobius’s good graces.

He’ll start with a hot meal.

#charlotte writes #follower celebration prompt series #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki tv series spoilers #mobius dick #loki + mobius (platonic)#validatemepls #NOW i am going to go watch the finale #wish me luck

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padsnprongs · 4 years ago

Text

The discovery

in which Sirius, Peter and James confront Remus about where exactly he goes each month

TW: panic attack, self deprecating thoughts, implied mentions of abuse but not really (idk if these actually need a tw but just bear these in mind when reading <3)

‘Where are they?’ Remus groaned.

Sighing, he turned his attention from his trunk to his bedside table, pulling open the drawer and rifling through, looking for his fluffy socks. ‘I know I left them in here!’

Although he would often get teased for it, ‘who wears socks to bed, Rem, that’s literally the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard’, Remus knew that ‘my feet get cold, okay, Sirius? Stop judging me.’

Just as his hand closed around a freshly folded pair of fluffy socks, a triumphant grin spreading across his face, he heard a small cough from behind him.

‘Um, Rem? Can we talk?’ a tentative voice asked.

Remus, looking up at the sound of his name, took in the sight before him: Sirius, Peter and James, his best mates, standing shoulder to shoulder, looking as if this was the last place they wanted to be.

Furrowing his brows, Remus answered, ‘Um, sure? What’s going on?’

The three of them glanced at each other, none, it seemed, wanting to start. Dread settled in Remus’ stomach as he wondered what had happened.

‘Spit it out. I wanna go to bed.’ Remus prompted.

Finally, James seemed to work up the courage to speak, and, taking a deep breath, he started, ‘Okay, there’s no beating around the bush here. We want to know where you go each month.’

Remus felt his stomach lurch in fear as he looked at each of his friends in turn, each face holding the same curious, yet worried, expression. Gathering his thoughts, he reminded himself that there was no way the conclusion they must have come to, was the truth.

So, he replied, ‘What do you mean? I already told you, I’m visiting my mum.’

‘Yeah, and we know you told us she’s ill, but… every single time, you come back looking just as sick as she apparently is.’ Peter piped up.

‘And you never talk about it outside of your visits. Plus, she seems perfectly fine in your letters from home. And, no offence, Rem, but you're not exactly the best liar; it is kinda obvious.’ James added.

And then Sirius chimed in, ‘At first we thought something… bad… was going on at home, and that was why you always look like you’ve got bruises and new scars when you come back each month, but you’re always going on about how much you love your parents, and it didn’t particularly make sense that you would keep going back.’

At this, Remus cut in, ‘What are you saying, guys?’ He paused, trying to collect himself, and then continued, ‘Everything’s fine at home. I don’t know what you’re going on about.’

‘I think you do.’ James raised his eyebrows. ‘We know everything’s fine at home now; it just didn’t seem right when we thought about it. But we don’t think you’re going home at all.’

Remus was panicking now. Here were the only three friends he’d ever had, mere inches away from discovering his secret. He couldn’t handle this. What was he thinking? It had been a terrible idea coming to Hogwarts in the first place. He should have known. Being around other people would never have worked. It was too risky for him to try to make friends and yet he had done it anyway, like a fool. But it was too late now. He was in too deep. Even though the three boys were complete idiots sometimes, and, frankly, quite annoying, he couldn’t imagine what he would do if he lost them. He never should have let himself get attached.

After a few seconds of silence, Sirius braved the waters, and cautiously looked up at Remus. ‘We’ve been thinking, and… Rem, it can’t be a coincidence that every month, when you disappear, it’s… it’s on a full moon.’

‘Tell us we’ve gone down the wrong path, and we’ll stop bothering you.’ James gently said, after Remus’ eyes widened. ‘But I don’t think we have, have we?’

Remus was too shocked to answer. All he could do was stand there, his jaw working desperately, his eyes frantically darting between each of his friends, all of whom he would now never see again. He stuttered for a moment, before giving up, hoping that they weren’t saying what he thought they were saying.

‘Remus,’ Peter asked softly, ‘are you a werewolf?’

Remus’ whole world tilted on its axis. The long-forgotten fluffy socks, which Remus had been, absent-mindedly, gripping onto for dear life, now dropped to the floor. As the three boys watched the socks hit the ground, realisation dawned in their eyes.

‘Oh, Rem…’ Sirius whispered, genuine concern spreading across his face.

But Remus couldn’t hear him. The blood had drained from his face as his head span like a hurricane. This is it. It’s over. I had a good run. I’ve got no choice but to leave, don’t I? They’ll tell everyone, and then the gig’s up. No one wants to go to school with a monster. Their parents’ll probably write to Dumbledore. Better for me to just go home now, before everyone starts complaining. I guess I’m being home-schooled again. I wonder what Mum’ll say.

The thoughts flew around his mind, brewing like a storm cloud. But there was one in particular that sliced through the storm like a shard of glass. I was the happiest I’ve ever been with you. He couldn’t remember ever smiling so much before he had come to Hogwarts. Even his own father hardly looked at him anymore. But that didn’t matter, because he had found a new family in these three boys, who were standing before him and shifting their feet uncomfortably. He genuinely looked forward to waking up each day, just because he knew he got to spend it with them.

But even that had been snatched away from him; his fate would never change. He was destined to be alone forever. The sooner he accepted that, the sooner he could move on. He had had no business inserting himself into these boys’ lives and calling himself their friend. Soon they would shut him out, just like everyone else had.

He barely registered the looks of uneasiness that passed between his friends. Former friends, he reminded himself. They won’t even be able to look me in the eye now. Why on earth would they want to be friends with me?

They’ll never see me again now anyway.

I’ll never see them again.

This is it.

It’s over.

As the realness of the situation hit, Remus stumbled backwards, as the room span around him, until he hit a wall. Gasping for breath, he brought himself back to the present, and his back slid down the wall until somehow, he was sitting on the floor. He drew his knees up to his chest, and buried his face in them, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t notice the three boys sinking down to the floor with him, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, which he automatically flinched away from.

‘Shit, Rem… I’m so sorry. Are you okay?’ James seemed genuinely concerned.

No. Why would he be concerned? He’s only asking me that cause if I have a heart attack right here, which seems pretty damn likely, they’ll all feel responsible.

James’ question didn’t even process in Remus’ brain, which was desperately trying to slow down and stop spinning; the world still seemed to be tilting, and he was getting dizzy.

Suddenly, everything seemed to kick in more, and as Remus tried to take in a deep breath, the air caught, and he found himself fighting for oxygen. He was full-on sobbing at this point, which he normally never would have been doing in front of people; however, at the moment, everything around him had blacked out, and he couldn’t seem to think clearly.

It wasn’t until someone to his left enveloped him in a hug, rubbing circles into his back and whispering soothing words in his ear, it’s okay, Rem… we’re here… we’re not going anywhere… breathe in through your nose… and then out through your mouth… that’s it… you’re okay… you’re here… everything will be okay…, that he managed to finally suck in some air.

Gradually, everything slowed down; the room stopped spinning, his mind stopped racing, and his vision seemed to clear. Blinking feverishly, he took in three faces staring at him, eyes wide and panicked, hands unsure where to place, legs awkwardly crossed beneath them as they tried to comfort Remus.

Sirius was still rubbing soothing circles on his back, and eventually, he felt his heart rate slow down.

As his mind cleared, he realised just how serious this was. If this got out, which it undoubtedly would, he would have to be completely cut off from society. He had known it was only a matter of time before his dormmates found out, but he thought he had longer. He thought he would have more time.

Looking up at the concerned faces before them, he took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to say, in as indifferent a voice as he could muster when he had just had a very public panic attack, ‘So, I guess the secret’s out. I’ll start packing my things then.’ He couldn’t bring himself to meet their eyes and try to gauge their reactions; he already knew that they would be filled with relief at the prospect of not having to share a dorm with a monster any longer.

Just as he was pulling away from Sirius and leaning onto his heels to stand up, he felt a hand on his knee.

‘And why on earth would you be doing that?’ Peter asked, his hand holding Remus in place.

Remus raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, it would be better for me to get ahead of this. So, I’ll leave now before everyone finds out and makes me leave anyway.’

‘What makes you think everyone’ll find out? We’re not gonna tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.’ James said, with a tilt of his head.

‘Yeah, we don’t care that you’re a werewolf. We just wanna make sure you’re okay.’ Sirius piped up.

Remus looked at the three of them in turn, his mind filled with suspicion, before narrowing his eyes. ‘No. There’s a catch. There’s always a catch. No one’s just okay with something like this.’

‘Well, we are. Come on, Rem, we’ve known you for, what, three years now? You really think this changes how we think of you? You really think we would out you to everyone?’ Sirius’ expression was steely and defensive, but his eyes held hints of hurt.

‘Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I think, actually. There’s no way you’re not gonna look at me differently. Everyone does. No, it’s better for me to leave. It’s not like you guys actually care about me all that much, so-’

‘Seriously? We “don’t care” about you? And that’s why we’re sat on the floor with you, is it?’ James shot back.

‘Yeah, Rem, the floor is literally made of stone. My arse is bloody freezing.’ Peter complained.

‘Not where I was going with that, but you’re not wrong, Pete. Listen, Remus. Of course we care about you. The whole reason we found out about this was because we were worried about you. Every single month, you leave for the night, and come back in the morning with bruises and fresh scars. Did you really think we wouldn’t notice? Remus, you’re literally our best friend. This doesn’t change the way we think of you at all. And it’s shitty that you immediately assume it would, and that needs to change. But we can’t help you until you let us in.’ James’ eyes were full of sincerity, and Remus almost found himself believing what he said.

‘And that goes for all of us, Remus. Let us help you.’ Sirius gripped his hand as he spoke, squeezing it tightly.

Remus looked around at his friends sitting before him, at the earnestness on their faces, and finally, at his hand, intertwined with Sirius’.

Slowly, he nodded, and his next word came out in a whisper, his voice cracking.

‘Okay.’

Bonus:

‘Ok, I know we’re like, having a moment here, but, like, seriously, Remus? Did you really think we’d be scared of you? You fold your socks, for Christ’s sake. You’re literally the least scary person I know!’ For emphasis, Peter groped around for the abandoned folded fluffy socks, holding them up to eye-level as he spoke.

‘Actually, I have to disagree, Pete. I think he’s absolutely terrifying. This one time, I saw him folding his dirty washing. It’s gonna get crumpled up anyway! Scared me shitless.’ Sirius joked, looking up at Remus with eyes full of mirth.

James hummed in agreement. ‘Going back to what Peter said, though, I can’t believe you thought that? If anything, I’m more scared of Dorcas than I am of you, and that’s saying something, because she’s a literal human teddy bear.’

Remus shook his head as he chuckled. ‘Shut up,you guys.’

AN: okay so i just wanna thank you if you read this far!! also im not particularly happy with how this turned out but i promise myself id post it today lol but any constructive criticism or literally anything would be much appreciated!! ok that's it lol have a nice day <3

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ejzah · 4 years ago

Note

Can you do a prompt where Kensi is shot by Kessler (in the stomach because he wants to make her unable to have kids) and Deeks tries to save her and she turns out all fine?

A/N: Ok, maybe I lied. I took a look at my prompts and found this one, which seems to link up nicely with my story from the other day.

Since this story involves Kessler, some creepy things are said, but I don’t think anything too over the top. It gets a bit dark and uncomfortable.

***

A Few Stolen Moments, Part 2

“You sure we locked all the doors when we came in?” Deeks murmured against Kensi’s head, the movement of his lips ruffling her hair. They were still sitting in bed, curled around each other.

As much as she didn’t want to let it affect her, Kensi felt vaguely sick at the thought of Kessler being so close by. Especially after the comments he made about Deeks when she’d questioned him. She didn’t know how much was just speculation, but she didn’t want him coming anywhere near Deeks either.

“I locked the front door and enabled the security,” she said. It was second nature after all this time. “And we haven’t unlocked any of the other doors since yesterday.”

“I’m going to double check anyway.” Deeks kissed her forehead one more time and then untangled their arms. He slid on a pair of spare sweatpants and started to climb off the bed, but before he could leave, Kensi tugged him back, kissing him firmly.

“We’ll be fine.” The concern in Deeks’ eyes said he didn’t believe that for a moment, but he didn’t say anything as he left the room.

Now all alone, she felt a chill that had nothing to do with the snowy weather and the disconcerting sensation that she was being watched. Grabbing her wrinkled clothes, she started pulling on her jeans and t-shirt. She was just reaching for her socks when she heard a loud crash downstairs.

She paused, waiting for another sound, and then called out,

“Deeks?” There was a moment of silence, followed by another crash. The socks fell from her hand as Kensi raced for her bag and pulled it her personal weapon. Deeks shouted out a muffled

“Kensi, don’t-“ as she raced downstairs.

She slowed down at the last few steps, leveling her gun as she cautiously turned the corner into the kitchen. There was a potted plant smashed on the floor, the pieces of blue ceramic scattered in a wide circle, and she skirted around it. Mouth completely dry, pulse racing, she walked past it and into the living room.

Deeks was kneeling on the floor, David Kessler behind him with one arm hooked around Deeks’ neck and the barrel of a gun pressed to his temple. She saw regret and anger in Deeks’ eyes as she quickly gave him a once over.

His bangs were stained red as was the skin beneath his nose, but he didn’t to be badly injured. She felt the smallest amount of relief at that.

Kessler smiled widely at her, his lip dribbling blood from what looked like a split lip. Good, Kensi thought with dark satisfaction.

“Put the gun down, Kessler,” she ordered coldly, leveling her gun for a kill shot. He just smiled even more.

“I missed you too, Kensi,” he said, ignoring her threat completely. “I’m so glad I finally got to meet the Hubby.”

“I said put the gun down or I will kill you.”

“You could try. But I might shoot him first. And that would be a shame. Wouldn’t it, Deeks?” He addressed the last part to Deeks, dragging the gun down the length of his jaw. “And I intend to enjoy this game for as long as I can.”

“Really, that’s the line you’re going with?” Deeks commented. Kensi could hear his fear and anger bleeding through the sarcasm, but she felt a spark of pride. Especially when Kessler frowned at him. “I expected better from a guy who’s been creating his master villain plan while he’s rotting in prison for years.”

Eyes flashing for a second, Kessler jerked his arm tighter, forcing Deeks back at an angle that made him wince.

“I imagined you a lot different than this,” Kessler said, once again conversationally. “But I can see why Kensi is attracted to you. Your the opposite of her father and most the other men in her life. It must make her feel like a rebel.”

“Are you seriously still tying to impress me?” Kensi asked in disbelief. Anger was quickly replacing her fear and her hand trembled slightly with it.

“I don’t need to impress anyone. I’m just here to enjoy myself.” He grabbed a handful of Deeks’ hair and tugged sharply until he growled out something dark and unintelligible. “Does she ever call you, Marty? Maybe that’s for when it’s just the two of you, huh?”

“Well, that’s something you’ll never find out,” Deeks said in a strained voice.

“I don’t know. I think Kensi would enjoy me being there. Maybe she’d even want me to join in.”

“Like she’d ever pick you.” Kessler actually growled as Deeks continued to goad him. She knew Deeks was trying to distract him, but she had no idea what Kessler was willing to do to him.

“Deeks, don’t.” Even though she couldn’t see Deeks’ eyes at this angle, she saw his body tense at her words.

“No, it’s alright, Kensi,” Kessler said, in a would-be reassuring tone. “It’s understandable that Deeks would want to defend you. Or maybe he’s defending himself. Tell me, were you this defiant when they drilled your teeth out?”

Another shiver went up Kensi’s spine at the reminder of how much Kessler knew about them. Had he been watching them? The thought made her feel ill. Almost as much as when Kessler jabbed the tip of the gun into Deeks’ upper jaw.

Deeks didn’t so much as flinch, but she knew he had to be in pain. The way Kessler was holding him, forcing him at that awkward angle was surely putting pressure on his ribs. She wondered if Kessler knew about that too.

“How did you get in here?” she asked. He enjoyed showing just how smart he was. Maybe it would be enough to distract him and give Deeks a chance to disarm him.

“I have friends.” Kessler smirked again. “When you know the right people and you can get all the keys and passcodes you want.” He trailed the gun down Deeks’ cheek again, nudging his split lip. Something inside Kensi snapped then and anger overwhelmed her.

“You know you’re not going to make it out of here alive.” Her voice was cold, dark, almost looking forward to the moment he was out of their lives. “I will kill you.”

“Yeah, she’s a pretty good shot,” Deeks added in a strained, but conversational tone.

“So am I.” Sighing a little dreamily, Kessler nodded like he was remembering something. “I may not have had the weapons, but I trained in other ways. I prepared for this day.” He’d released his hold on Deeks’ hair while he spoke, allowing him to lower his head.

Looking up under his bangs, Deeks met her gaze again, a silent question burning in his eyes. She nodded back almost imperceptibly, allowing her face to reflect concern as Deeks pulled in a visible breath. She wasn’t sure if it was at all real or solely designed to throw Kessler off guard.

“You’re not as strong as you look,” Kessler commented, then glanced at Kensi pointedly, staring at her midsection. “But then we already knew that, didn’t we?”

“Don’t you get sick of saying the same things all the time?” Kensi asked, letting derision leak into her voice.

“Oh Kensi, I’m just telling the truth. And you know it. Your husband is weak. He let me take him down. Barely even fought.”

“In my experience, strong men don’t talk about it all the time. They don’t have anything to prove.”

“I’m going to enjoy controlling you,” he murmured vindictively. “Now put the gun down before I blow Marty’s brain out.” Deeks shook his head and she saw him mouth her name as she slowly bent down to put the gun on the floor. “Now kick over here.”

Hands trembling as she rose back up, Kensi did as he instructed. Normally she would wait for Deeks to distract and disarm Kessler, but normally he didn’t have broken ribs. It was likely how Kessler had gotten an upper hand in the first place.

“Alright, you have what you want, let Deeks go. This doesn’t have anything to do with him,” she said as Kessler kicked the gun under the couch.

“Kensi, no.”

Chuckling, Kessler shook his head.

“That’s not part of my plans.” Before Kensi could react, he slammed the but of his gun into Deeks’ temple. Deeks cried out, his body flailing for a second as Kessler let him roughly drop to the ground.

“Deeks!” She started toward him, but Kessler waved her back. She stayed in place reluctantly, eyes never leaving his weapon. He stalked towards her until he was just a few feet away from her.

“You don’t know how many times I imagined stabbing you, shooting you. Right in the stomach. No little baby Deeks for you,” he said in a slightly sing song voice, leveling the gun directly at her abdomen. Kensi’s fists trembled with rage as he reached out and brushed his fingers across the fabric of her shirt.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed. His eyes tightened momentarily, like he’d expected any other response and his finger slid on the trigger.

“Then I guess this is the end, Kensi.” She tensed, preparing to attack him in whatever way she could when Deeks rose up behind and tackled him to the floor. Kessler managed to squeeze the trigger, but it went wide and then flew from his hand.

She ran for it as they struggled, Deeks trying to maintain control. When she turned back, Kessler was on top, punching Deeks repeatedly in the side.

Kensi didn’t hesitate another moment and fired, hitting Kessler directly in the shoulder. He screamed and reared back, giving Deeks the opportunity to flip him onto his back and slam his head into the floor until he blacked out. It took everything in Kensi’s power not to shoot Kessler again. And again.

Would anyone question it if he died? He finally stopped fighting and Deeks rolled off him, collapsing to the ground as he dragged in ragged breaths.

“Deeks, baby, are you ok?” she asked, kneeling next to Deeks. She pulled his head into her lap, fingers still trembling, this time with fear. There was a new cut where Kessler had hit him, blood flowing out in a steady stream down the side of his head.

“I’m fine. Did he shoot you? I tried to stop him,” he gasped out, running his hand over her for any signs of injury.

“He missed. He didn’t hurt me.” Deeks let his head fall back and he closed his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful.” He glanced at Kessler’s prone body, looking slightly nauseous, and pushed himself away.

“Oh my god, it’s not your fault, baby,” she murmured. Her eyes filled with tears as she pressed her forehead to his. “I thought he killed you.” Shivering uncontrollably, she clasped Deeks against her chest, reveling in the sound of his labored breathing, his arms clamping around his back.

“He can’t hurt us anymore,” Deeks whispered, cupping her cheek.

***

A/N: So, Writing Kessler is super weird. Aside from the fact that he’s a creep, I kept drifting into dialogue that sounded more like Sidorov or one of the other big baddies. Hopefully I captured Kessler’s fairly simplistic and persistent traits well enough.

Thanks for the prompt, anon!

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #kensi blye #densi #Kessler #tw: violence #anonymous prompt #ejzah fanfiction

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taehyungs-perm · 4 years ago

Text

strawberry girl pt 2

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 11k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here

part 1 here part 3 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

electric | alina baraz ft khalid

goodnight n go | ariana grande

here | alessia cara

teenage dream | katy perry

floating | alina baraz ft khalid

singularity | bts

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You woke up in a panic to the shrill sound of your phone alarm. You turned over to your side to shut off the alarm, briefly glancing at your roommate’s empty bed. 10:34. You rubbed your eyes while yawning, you had a restless night of sleep. You couldn’t stop thinking about Taehyung. You felt butterflies in your heart when you thought back to last night: the way he called you cute, the way he hugged you, the way he nuzzled the crook of your neck. But those warm feelings were immediately squashed when your phone buzzed.

Tae: hey so i got a bit held up but i just need to shower and ill be at lilys! I’m sorry!! 🥺

Then, you remembered what actually went down last night. Jennie telling you Taehyung would never even look at someone like you, some girl grinding on Taehyung, and, oh yea, the fact that he fucked some girl last night and that’s definitely the reason why he’s late this morning. Your mind was swimming with thoughts. You exhaled deeply and sat up in your bed, staring at your wall covered in polaroids. Taehyung doesn't like me. Why would he like me? You’ve seen the girls he’s been with. They are so beautiful. How could someone like you even compare?

You fell back into your pillows and wrapped your arms around your fluffy white pillow, hugging it. And you don’t like him either. You can’t. Because you can’t handle all the pain that comes with it. Your phone buzzed again.

Tae: should be there in 10

You: same

It was definitely a lie but you doubted Taehyung would be on time.

Tae: ur lying. Ur def just lying in ur bed. Bet ur still in pajamas

How the fuck did he know you so well.

You: 🖕🏽

Tae: 🥰

God, he is such a headass you thought, shaking your head. You managed to pull yourself out of bed but all the while you got ready, you kept thinking about him. You wondered if he thought about you as much as you thought about him. Probably not.

You were definitely 20 minutes late but you really didn’t care since it was just Taehyung. You pulled open the door of the diner and inhaled the scent of freshly cooked waffles and fried eggs. You scanned the restaurant and saw Taehyung sitting in a corner booth. He was wearing a light grey sweatshirt. You loved that sweatshirt. You thought he always looked adorable wearing it. You walked over and sat across from him. He was so absorbed in his texts that he didn’t notice you sit down.

You stared at him and he still didn’t look up. Annoyed, you huffed loudly but he still was preoccupied in his phone.

Fine. He’s being a little bitch then. You leaned over and flicked his forehead and he yelped loudly.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?” He said whining.

You huffed, “Oh shut up. I’ve been sitting here for like ever and you've been just staring at your phone.”

He was rubbing his forehead, “Sorry I didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just like there’s a lot happening at once.”

You were about to ask him what was going on but then the waitress came by to take your orders.

You ordered chocolate chip waffles and Taehyung ordered 4 different dishes. You glared at him as the waitress took your menus away.

“What? I’m hungry.” he said innocently.

“Whatever. You're paying. Anyways, what’s going on?”

“Oh yea, so like we just have this huge game coming up next week. It’s against our rival school and it’s the championship game.”

You interrupted “It’s the championship game already?”

He gruffed, “You would know if you came to any of my games.”

Oh shit. Taehyung had been asking you to come to at least one of his games, but you had been brushing it off. You had been giving him the excuse of having too much school work. The truth was you didn’t really want to go to his games and see his personal cheerleading squad on their knees for him. Hana went to a few games to see Jungkook play and she told you about them. Jennie was the leader of the group of the three girls and they were at every game, wearing their cheerleading uniforms, screaming Taehyung's name. The very notion of it made you feel nauseous so you just avoided going to any of his games just so you didn’t have to witness it. It’s not that you had a direct issue with the girls themselves but they were just a reminder that Taehyung would never look at you the same way he looked at them.

“Oh sorry. I told you it w-“

He interjected, “Yea, I know you said you needed to study.” He looked upset. Fuck. The words came out of your mouth before you realized, “I promise I’ll be there for the game next Saturday.”

His eyes lit up, “Really?”

You nodded, “Okay so continue.”

“Yea, so we are all really stressed about the game and like Hobi hyung wants us to practice everyday for like 3 to 4 hours until the big game. But like I’m trying to take school more seriously now, and I don’t know how I can manage that much soccer on top of school. Namjoon hyung is on my side but like there’s just this huge argument in our group chat right now.” Taehyung was rubbing circles on the temples of his head.

His phone started buzzing, like he received a chain of texts. Then he growled. You were in shock. You had never seen Taehyung this pissed off before.

“Then this fucking girl won’t leave me alone.”

You were kind of scared but you asked in a calm voice, “What girl?”

“The girl from last night. She keeps fucking texting me. She won’t stop.”

“What’s she saying?”

“She keeps asking to hang out. And I don’t want to. I told her last night before anything happened that this was just a hookup. Just sex. And if she wanted something more or if she wasn’t okay with that, then I would stop. But she said she was fine with it. Then it took me forever for her to get out of my room this morning.”

“Taehyung!”

“What? “

“You kicked her out? That’s so mean!”

“I didn’t kick her out. I just said I had shit to do so I needed to get ready. But she wanted to stay and I thought she wanted to fuck again and like we did which is why I was late. But she’s still texting me. And I told her nicely that I just wanted to stay friends, but she’s relentless!”

“If she’s bothering you that much, just block her number.”

“Can I? Would that be mean?”

“Well...kinda but like if she’s causing you stress then it’s fair.”

“Okay bet.”

He instantly looked relieved. He was about to say something but then the waitress arrived with your food.

After hearing about Taehyungs fuckboi antics from last night and apparently this morning, you suddenly lost your appetite. You started slowly cutting small pieces of your waffle.

Taehyung asked in a concerned voice “Hey. Why aren’t you eating?”

“Oh. I’m just stressed. About school.”

Taehyung pointed his fork at you with his mouth full of waffles, “You need to find a stress outlet.”

You rolled your eyes, “I do have a stress outlet. I bake.”

He covered his mouth with his hand, laughing, “Clearly that’s doing jack shit. You need something better.”

You threw your hands up, exasperated, “What then? What do you suggest for a stress reliever?” Even though the cause of your lack of appetite wasn’t stress, you did feel like picking up new habits could help with your overall anxieties.

Taehyung looked you straight in the eyes and said confidently, “Dick.”

You choked at his bluntness, “Excuse me?”

He shrugged and continued to shovel waffles in his mouth, “You need dick. You’re so tightly wound up. You just need some dick to relax”

You scoffed at his words, “Taehyung, unlike you my life doesn’t revolve around sex okay? I’m honestly doing perfectly fine on my own.”

He looked at you with serious concern, “Okay, tell me this when’s the last time you got laid.”

Oh god, you were not going to tell Taehyung about your completely nonexistent sex and romantic life.

You forced your eyes to the table, looking at the marble pattern, “Uh it’s been awhile.”

He asked curiously, “How long like 2 weeks? Or..”

You moved your eyes to your plate and said quietly, “I don’t know.”

You were staring at the syrup patterns in your waffle and Taehyung seemed to be getting fed up, “Cmon _____ I tell you about my life, just tell me.”

You snapped, angrily glaring at him, “Taehyung it’s really fucking hard to get laid when you haven’t even kissed a guy yet.”

You saw his eyes widen in shock.

This is so fucking embarrassing. You covered your face with your hands, mortified.

Great now he thinks I’m a prude or a weirdo. With your million thoughts running through your mind, you realized that Taehyung was silent this whole time.

You couldn’t take the awkward silence anymore, “Okay, I’m going to leave since like it’s really fucking awkward now.” You began to slide out of the booth, but then Taehyung grabbed your hand, “No! Sorry I didn’t mean to make it weird. I’m just shocked I guess.”

You sunk back down into the booth seat and snatched your hand away from him.

“I don’t really think it’s a big deal that you haven’t done anything but like is there a reason why?”

“I dunno. School is just like all I focus on so it’s kept me busy.”

“That’s such bullshit. School doesn’t occupy every waking moment of your life so there’s obviously more to it.”

You racked your brain. There were many reasons why. One of them sitting across the table in front of you. You could give him a partial truth. You sighed and fiddled with your fingers, “Because I want my firsts to be with someone I love. I’m so scared of regretting it if I just gave away those special moments to someone who didn’t actually care about me.” You paused then continued, “It’s dumb I know.”

Taehyung smiled, “That’s not dumb at all. I had no idea you were a romantic.”

You squinted at him, “Yea well if you tell anyone I will personally see to it that Hoseok makes you run laps until you puke.”

Taehyung rubbed his forehead with his hand, “You give a fucking headache you know that right? There’s this one side of you that’s like an innocent naive romantic and there’s the other side of you that will start a fight with anyone who underestimates you.”

You took your straw wrapper, crumbled it, and flicked it at Taehyung, “Fuck off. I’m not that complicated.”

He, of course, dodged it, “It’s okay cause I’m the only who knows both sides of you” he said with a wink.

You internally winced because he had no idea how right he was.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You left the diner about 20 minutes later as Taehyung said he had soccer practice soon and you needed to get some work done. You were going through your mental checklist of things that needed to be done: I need to go to the grocery store and pick up some actual food I need to revise for chemistry because there’s an exam coming up. You were so invested in your thoughts that as you unlocked your room door you didn’t hear the distinct voices coming from inside.

Your thoughts of your checklist were interrupted as you saw Hana and Jungkook laying in her bed (fully clothed thank god).

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped at the sight. At the beginning of their friends with benefits relationship, Hana made it very clear to Jungkook, they would never hook up in her room. As a result, Jungkook had never been over. You knew Jungkook from your writing course. You and him worked together sometimes, but you two weren’t close friends.

“Hey _____,” Jungkook said from the bed, in a casual voice.

“Um hey Jungkook,” you tried to say as calmly as possible because, internally, you were freaking out. If he was here, it meant something had definitely changed with Hana and Jungkook’s relationship at the frat party last night. You made eye contact with Hana and her face was completely red.

“So where were you this morning ________?” Hana said, trying to maintain a calm demeanor.

You set your purse on the swivel chair next to your desk and held up your bag of uneaten waffles, “I was at breakfast with Tae.”

“Oh nice. Are those.... leftovers?” Jungkook said in an innocent voice.

You threw the bag at him and he caught it, “Go for it. I didn’t really have much of an appetite.”

“Bet thanks,” he said, opening the paper bag and pulling out the cardboard box containing your chocolate chip waffles.

Hana looked disgusted and exclaimed, “You are not eating on my bed and getting crumbs everywhere!” Before Jungkook could retort, Hana pushed him to the ground.

“Ouch!” He said rubbing his leg that he bumped against the side of the bed.

The room was awkwardly silent because you and Hana were both staring at each other, trying your best not to laugh at the situation.

Jungkook broke the silence in a careful tone with a mouth full of waffles,”I thought Taehyung was...ya know..with someone.” He looked back and forth between you and Hana.

You said quietly, “Yea...he was.”

Hana folded her arms across her chest and said forcefully, “I don’t get him, _______. Like he literally doesn’t make any sense. I saw him last night. He was being so flirty with you. But then he goes and fucks some random girl? He’s just making things so confusing for you.”

You sighed and looked at the ground, “There isn’t anything to be confused about. He doesn’t like me. And I don’t like him. We’re just friends.”

“Well, why do you sound so sad then?” Jungkook asked from the ground. Fuck I forgot he was here.

You snapped, “I’m not sad. I’m fine. I don’t give a shit about who Taehyung hooks up with.”

Jungkook raises his hands in defeat, “Okay okay. But like I want to say, I’ve spent a lot of time with Taehyung these past few months and I’ve never seen him happier. And I know it’s cause you are in his life again. I don’t really know what his feelings are but I do know that you mean a lot to him.”

What does that mean? Does that mean he could maybe like me? No that’s crazy. He’s still fucking different girls every weekend. He couldn’t do that if he had feelings for me.

Hana shook her head, “I don’t know. This all feels really weird to me. Boys are so fucking oblivious. Men are trash.” Jungkook looked up at her and pouted.

“Except for you...I guess” she said looking down at him

You were so shocked at what was happening in front of so you just blurted out, “Okay I really need to ask because I’m so fucking weirded out right now, but are you two together?”

Jungkooks jaw dropped and he turned to face Hana. He said, hurt, “You didn’t tell ________ about us?”

“Oh shut up Jungkook. We’ve literally been together since last night. When would I have told her?“

You cleared your throat, “Wait wait just to clarify....you two are dating?”

Jungkook stood up and wrapped his arms around Hana tightly,“Yep she’s my girlfriend.”

Hana nodded weakly, “Yea I’m dating this idiot.”

You clapped your hands together, “Oh my gosh I’m so happy for you two! I’ve been rooting for this since Jungkook sent you that candy bouquet.”

Jungkook's phone started ringing and he looked at you, “It’s your man.” He answered the call before you could say anything.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Jungkook paused before his eyes widened in realization, “Oh fuck I completely forgot. I’ll be there now.”

He hung up the call and quickly started putting on his shoes and jacket, “I forgot we had a practice scheduled for today. I’m so fucking late.”

Hana rolled her eyes, “You are so clueless”

Jungkook was about to leave but he walked over to Hana and planted a kiss on her cheek, “I’m your clueless boyfriend now.”

You saw her cheeks turn red and you knew she was head over heels for Jeon Jungkook.

“Ugh just go to practice,” she said trying to remain cool.

“Bye ______! Bye, love! I’ll text you when I’m done.” he slammed the door shut.

You turned to Hana and smiled widely teasingly, “Someone’s in loveeee.”

“God I hate this,” Hana said, drowning her face in a pillow.

“You’re so whipped. But good thing he’s a simp too. You’re both perfect for each other.”

She removed her face from the pillow and looked at you with a love struck gaze, “I am so whipped. I really like him ________. And I really like being with him. I never thought I would say this but he makes me really happy.”

Your heart melted at her words. Hana was only this sappy when she really meant it. You felt a sudden ping of sadness in your heart. It’s not that you didn’t want it. You wanted love. You wanted romance. But in order for any of that to happen, someone has to like you back. Someone has to want you in that way. And that’s only something that could happen in your dreams because you had always been the girl no one had a crush on. So your fairytale romance was something that was unattainable for you. You knew if you voiced these thoughts to Hana, she would tell you that you needed to try first. That you needed to actually tell that special someone that you liked them. But you couldn’t do that because you were so afraid of rejection, so afraid of letting someone in and having them walk right out.

She noticed your change in expression softly, “Hey. What’s actually going on with Taehyung?”

You laid flat on your bed and exhaled deeply, “I don’t know. I just know I feel really unsure but I really don’t think I like him. I also think I need to stop hanging out with him.”

She didn't press further, “If you think that’s what you need, I’ll support you.”

“Thank you Hana.” You were glad she didn’t start any arguments with you. She just listened to your wishes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You had been sitting in the library all morning trying to avoid Taehyung. Just all of the things that he did this past week had been making you feel ~things~ but you felt sure that you didn’t like him. You knew if you hid out in the library Taehyung would never find you mostly because you were certain he had never stepped foot in the library. You told Hana where you were and made her promise to not tell Taehyung so you were quite surprised when you heard a chair pull out in front of you and there was Taehyung and his mischievous smile.

“Hey strawberry girl,” he said plopping down in the chair in front of you.

You asked in a concerning tone, “Taehyung.... you realize you’re in the library right? Like you aren’t lost?”

He was wearing black sweatpants with a plain white t-shirt. He looked like the dictionary definition of a fuckboi with his backwards black SnapBack on. With a confident smile on his face as he took out his laptop from his bag he stated, “Nope I’m exactly where I need to be.”

Alright what game is he playing? “What the fuck are you doing here?” you said in a harsh whisper.

“You know what I realized? Everyone thinks you’re this naive innocent girl but I swear we have not had a single conversation where you didn’t say fuck.” He saw your pissed off face and then went on to say, “But if you are so curious, I’m here to do work. You’ve bailed on me all week claiming you had ‘work’ so here I am. You’ve really forced my hand. Bringing me to the library to study. Imagine that.”

“Taehyung, I came here to do work alone because you always distract me.”You looked up from your books and noticed the sly glint in his eye and realized what you had done. But it was too late.

Taehyung broke out into his signature huge smile and said, “Oh so you find me distracting?”

“That’s not what I meant Taehyung. I mea-”

He ran his hand through his hair and raised his eyebrow at you, “Is it because of my insanely good looks or because of my witty charms?”

You dropped your head against the notebook lying out in front of you and then looked Taehyung directly in the eyes saying, “God, I hate you”

He raised his eyebrow in a cocky manner with a wide grin on his face, “You're lying.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“It’s okay cause I know you love me.”

Your stomach did a flip flop. You caught yourself; he didn’t know anything because there was nothing to know.

“How the fuck did you know I was here?” you said exasperated.

“Your best friend has a weak will. Maybe don’t trust her with secrets.” He then did his annoying wink that always sent chills up your spine.

Why did Hana tell him? Whatever. It was too late now. You resumed taking your notes and luckily Taehyung was able to do his work quietly.

You became absorbed in your biology textbook until you heard a squeal, “Taehyung!”

You looked up and saw a really pretty girl standing by your table. She looked vaguely familiar but you couldn’t place where exactly you had seen her. She had a huge smile on her face as she was intently staring at Taehyung.

Taehyung looked up from his laptop with a bit of a shocked expression on his face. He glanced at you quickly and then looked at the girl, “oh hey Eunjae.”

She was twirling the front strand of her hair with her finger and giggled, “What are you doing here at the library? I’ve never seen you here before.”

He chuckled nervously and nodded his head to you, “I’m here studying with _________.”

She turned her head to you and flashed a gorgeous smile. You gave a smile back and then went back to looking at your notebook. “So what are you studying?” She said leaning her hands on the table, craning her neck to see his laptop.

“Um I’m working on a paper. It’s due next week so I’m trying to work on it before I get busy with practice,” Taehyung said, typing on his computer.

“Oh yea! The championship is next Saturday. I’m so excited to be there to cheer for you! I've been to every game this season so I would never miss your biggest game!” Eunjae said gushingly.

“Oh wow. That’s really nice of you to come to every game.” Taehyung said.

Ugh. If he’s going to flirt, why does he have to do it in front of me? You tried hard to focus on your biology notes but the conversation between Eunjae and Taehyung was especially distracting. You were hoping she would leave soon so you could study in peace but once she pulled out the chair next to Taehyung to sit down, you knew she wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

You tried to tune out their conversation but something Eunjae said caught your attention. You weren’t sure exactly how Eunjae and Taehyung knew each other. You figured it was because she came to every game but even Taehyung didn’t know that. Then she said softly, but definitely loud enough for you to hear, “You know, Tae, I had a really good time with you last weekend. I was wondering if we could maybe hang out this weekend or something.”

Last weekend? Then it clicked. Eunjae was the girl at the frat party. She was the girl who was sitting on Taehyung's lap. I guess Taehyung never actually blocked her number. Of course he wouldn’t. She’s a really pretty girl giving him attention. You internally rolled your eyes.

You heard Taehyung clear his throat, “Uh yea. That sounds good. But like this would be just as friends?“

She gave a high pitch laugh “Of course! I just want us to be friends. And then I mean, whatever happens, happens right?”

Taehyung said, “Yea I mean that’s fine with me.”

You hoped the conversation would end there because it was becoming excruciatingly awkward for you since both of them were blatantly ignoring your presence. But of course it didn’t end there, and Eunjae began talking about the cheer team to Taehyung.

You didn’t want to be rude but you honestly felt yourself losing brain cells at this conversation.

You had enough of their flirting because it was distracting you from doing your work. Not because you were jealous or anything. You closed your notebook and started packing your stuff. The sound of your backpack zipper caught Taehyung's attention and snapped him out of his conversation with Eunjae.

“Hey _______ you're done studying?”

You didn’t really wanna want to get into a conversation with Taeyhyung so you simply nodded.

But of course Taehyung wasn’t satisfied, “So what are you doing now?”

You rolled your eyes. Why couldn’t he for once mind his own business? Eunjae desperately wanted his attention. Why couldn’t he just give it to her and not involve you?

“Back to my dorm.” you said not looking at him. “Bye Eunjae. Bye Tae.” And you stalked off.

You didn’t look back at him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were going to murder Hana. You told her specifically not to tell Taehyung where you were. But what did she do? She told taehyung.

You burst your room dorm open and there she was laying on her bed, with her laptop balanced on her knees.

You smiled sweetly at her, “Hana, I'm going to kill you.”

“Perfect, because I’m really sick of studying for chemistry and if you could kill me before our exam next Wednesday, that would be great.” she said excitedly.

You dumped your stuff on the ground and jumped onto your bed, “Maybe then I won’t kill you, so you can suffer.”

She laughed, “Okay okay but what did I do?”

You tapped your index finger to your cheek, pretending to think, “Um...lemme jog your memory. Did a certain headass ask where I was today?”

Her smile dropped from her face, “Oh fuck.”

“Yea oh fuck. I told you that no matter what, Kim Taehyung was to not find me. What happened?” you exclaimed as you slammed your head against your pillow.

Hana sat up straight in her bed, crossing her legs beneath her, “I’m sorry okay! I really did try to keep it a secret but he came over here because you weren't answering your phone. And I told him you were busy and he just kept on badgering me. I ended up telling him to shut him up.”

“Ugh. He actually came here? That’s so gross. Did he say what he wanted?”

“No he just said he needed to see you. Did he ask you anything at the library?”

You thought about it for a minute, “No he didn’t ask me anything.”

“Well then,” Hana said in a smug voice, crossing her arms.

You turned your head to face her, “What?”

“It’s obvious _______.”

“What’s obvious?”

“Oh my gosh how are you this dense? He likes you.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “He doesn’t.”

“Cmon _______. When he came in here he was begging for me to tell him where you were, it was annoying but he was so genuine. I can tell there’s something.”

“There’s nothing.” you said flatly, turning away from Hana.

She said insistingly, “Why are you being so negative about this? He’s trying so much with you!”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “Hana, I can’t fucking like him. I did once and it fucked me over.”

She went quiet. “What happened?”

“When we were highschool, I liked him. I’m pretty sure I loved Tae. And I was so sure he felt the same way. He gave me so much attention just like now. He cared about me so much. I was so convinced he liked me too. And when I was going to tell him, he said he started dating someone. And that someone became his forever for highschool. It fucking hurted so much, seeing him with her. It broke my heart over and over. And I just needed to get the fuck away from him. Because the worst part was, he had no fucking idea I was hurting so bad. So yea, I don’t think he likes me and even so, I don’t like him anymore. I honestly don’t have the emotional capacity to fall in love again.”

Hana whispered, “I’m sorry. I think you’ve moved on and I don’t want you to go through it again. Whatever it is, I’ll be there for you. I’ll help you keep your distance from Taehyung.”

You opened your eyes and looked at her. You were so grateful to have such an understanding friend like Hana, “Thanks. You’re such a good friend.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your plan to keep distance from Taehyung was going down the drain really quickly. It started off with an unlikely text.

Jimin: hey ________ this is last minute but i had an idea. This is jimin btw.

Jimin texting you was a bit out of place. You had only exchanged brief hellos and words when you encountered each other.

You: hey jimin. whats ur idea

Jimin: taes birthday is during break so I was thinking we could surprise him and celebrate it early.

You: when were you thinking

Jimin: this Saturday. That way we can all have some fun before finals and the soccer match

This Saturday was a bit soon but you figured if anyone could pull it off, it was Jimin.

You: sounds good. But we better start planning right away

Jimin: already on it. Jin hyung said we could use his apartment

Kim Seokjin. You hadn’t personally met the guy but you knew he was on the soccer team and in the BTS frat. However, since he was a senior, he lived in an apartment off campus.

You: bet. We need to figure out food, desserts, and invites

Jimin: do you want to meet up tonight to figure out all the details

You: sure.

Jimin: you can come by the frat tonight. Taehyung will probably be out.

After finishing some homework, you grabbed your jacket and walked over to the BTS frat. As you approached the door, you saw Jungkook and Hana leaving.

“_______? Are you here to see Taehyung? I think he just left,” she said with concerning eyes.

“Hey Hana. I’m actually here to see Jimin.”

Her mouth gaped open but before she could ask you any questions Jungkook pulled her along.

“Sorry, love, but you can interrogate ______ later. We’re going to be late!”

“Bye Hana! “ you called as she waved bye.

You walked into the house and saw Jimin sitting there with Namjoon and Hoseok. You knew Namjoon because he was your biology lab TA. He had helped you with many frustrating biology labs and he was probably the only reason why you were passing the class. You only heard about Hobi from Tae’s stories of soccer practice.

“Hey_____!” `Jimin called motioning for you to sit down.

“Hey,” you gave a little wave to all of them.

Hobi smiled brightly “I don’t think we’ve met properly but I’m Hobi. “

You smiled and introduced yourself to him.

“Finished with your biology lab presentation?” Namjoon said with his dimpled smile.

You chuckled nervously and brushed your hair behind your ear “Uhh working on it. It’s taking much longer than I thought it would.”

“Phylum Nematoda is definitely a hard topic because there’s not that much information,” he said understandingly.

“I know and it’s jus-“

Jimin interjected your incoming rant, “As riveting biology lab is, we are here for a reason.”

“Right! So Yoongi is taking care of the catering. He has a family restaurant that he claims served the best korean food in the area so we don’t need to worry about that,” Hobi said reading off his phone.

“And Jimin knows all of Taehyung's friends so he will take care of all the invites,” Namjoon said.

“And all there’s left is the theme and desserts,” Jimin confidently stated.

You were confused “Theme? Why do we need a theme?”

“It would be fun ________!” Jimin said. “It can be lowkey but I was thinking we should do a formal theme. To appeal to Taehyung's bougie side.”

You thought for a moment and nodded, “Taehyung honestly does love getting dressed up.”

Hobi stood up from the couch and said, “Okay so then it’s settled. Everything is planned.”

Namjoon laughed and you chimed in, “Not yet. But I can take care of the last part. I’ll order a cake for Taehyung and have it delivered to Jin’s apartment.”

Jimin stood up and stretched his arms, “Okay, now everything is planned.”

You got up and said goodbye to Namjoon and Hobi as Jimin walked with you to the door.

Jimin smiled at you, “Thanks for coming and helping us plan this. Taehyung’s going to love it. He’ll definitely surprised”

You both stepped outside and stood on the porch. “I mean I’m not sure how much I’m doing but I'm glad to help,” You said with a light laugh.

“Well we’ll try to clean up Jin hyung’s apartment and decorate it on Saturday before the party. If you're free, we could definitely use the help then.”

“Yea I’ll be there. You can text me the details.”

You were about to head down the steps and say bye to Jimin when you saw Taehyung and someone else walking up to the house.

You were trying to see if there was maybe a way you could hide from him or leave from a side path but it was too late. Taehyung had seen you.

“_______! You’re here? You didn’t tell me you would be coming over” he said walking onto the porch. You didn’t recognize the girl he was with but with her arms wrapped around Taehyung, it was clear that they were going to hook up.

You gave Jimin a panicked look. Before you could say anything Jimin put his arm around your shoulder, just like how Taehyung did at the party, and said, “Well she wasn’t here to see you. She was here to hang out with me.”

You smiled weakly ,“Yep. Jimin and I were just studying chemistry. We have an exam coming up/”

“Yep chemistry,” he said nodding.

Taehyung had a weird look as if he were mad or something. His eyes lit up with a dangerous, angry glint that sent a shiver down your spine, “Oh. That’s nice. I didn’t realize you guys studied together.”

You knew Taehyung well enough to know that he was using his fake polite voice. Jimin glanced at you and you realized he also knew that Taehyung was angry.

“I just was having some trouble and _______ said she would help.”

Taehyung's eyes narrowed, “Maybe you should just get a tutor next time.”

You could sense the tension escalating, “Yea that’s probably for the best. I don’t think I was very helpful anyways.”

Taehyung opened his mouth to say some retort but the girl by his side whined, “Taehyung, can we please go inside?”

You smirked. Taehyung had been kind of irritating you with his weird interrogation so you plastered a fake smile and said in a fake sweet voice “Yea Taehyung. You should go inside. It’s getting cold out here. Bye Jimin.” You waved bye to Jimin and gave a glare to Taehyung.

God, boys give you a fucking migraine.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Taehyung had been in that weird fight for about a day before things went back to normal. He just texted you as if nothing happened

Tae: are you busy Saturday night?

Saturday evening was Taehyung's surprise party so hopefully he wasn’t making plans then.

You: uh not sure yet. What’s up?

Tae: the guys are having a dinner to like get hyped for the game next week. Do u wanna come?

Ah. That must have been the excuse to get Taehyung to Jin’s apartment.

You: lolll no way. but try to have fun and not stress out about the game

Tae: ugh ig. wish you wanted to come tho :(

You: we can hang out some another time.

Tae: you say that EVERYTIME.

You: i mean it this time

Tae: i’m holding you to it 🍓 girl

You turned off your phone and tried to fall asleep but the warm fuzzy feeling in your heart kept you awake. The sound of your phone ringing woke you up.

You answered the phone groggily “Hello?”

“_______? Did you just wake up? I told you I was going to pick you up at 9:30!”

You looked at your phone. 9:21. Fuck.

“I’m up and ready Jimin. No need to freak out.”

“Good cause I’ll be there in five.”

Hana groaned from her bed, “Why are you up this early?”

“I have to go help set up but I should be back by 4.”

“You better. We have to get ready together.”

You quickly brushed, washed your face, and pulled on sweatpants and a hoodie. By the time you had your shoes on, Jimin was texting you to come outside. You said bye to Hana and raced out the door. You spotted Jimin waving in his black Audi and jumped in the car. You and Jimin chatted on the way there. You found yourself actually enjoying Jimin's company. He was very smart which you already knew since he was taking the same pre-med courses as you but he was also very sweet and funny. He pulled up to a very tall apartment building and you both got out of the car. You helped take out some of the boxes from Jimin's trunk that had tablecloths, plates, and other silverware. You two made your way up to the 7th floor where Jin lived. Jimin led you to his door and knocked. The door swung open and there was Kim seokjin.

“Jimin! You’re late! It’s 9:41 and you said you would be here by 9:40.”

“Shut up, hyung,” he said, shaking his head.

You got a good look at Jin and he looked like he came off of the vogue runway with his blue button down tucked into brown slacks. Were all of Taehyung's friends seriously good looking? You finally understood why there was so much hype around them. They were all hardworking, handsome, but also genuinely kind, funny, down to earth guys.

Jin took the box from your arms and said, “You must be ________. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Jin. I’m the most handsome and funny one of the BTS frat.”

You were taken aback by his forward ness but went along with his comment, “I mean your only competition is Taehyung and Jimin so no wonder that is.”

He laughed loudly, “See even she agrees and she just met me Jimin.”

Jimin rolled his eyes as he put down the boxes, “You can’t encourage him. It’ll only get worse”

Jimin, Jin and you cleaned his apartment and began to decorate. After listening to what it seemed like the 30th dad joke from Jin, you heard the doorbell ring. Jimin went over to the door and it was a guy who looked like Jin’s age carrying foil covered trays. He was wearing an oversized flannel and black skinny jeans.

“I brought the food but there’s still a shit ton more trays in my car,” he said as he entered.

He placed the trays in the kitchen and looked at you, “Who are you?”

“I’m _______” you said as you took the tray Jimin handed to you.

“Ah you're Taehyungie's girl. I’m yoongi, one of his hyungs on the team.”

You placed the tray on the table, “Nice to meet you. But I’m not Taehyung's girl. Just a friend.”

He laughed, “Maybe you should tell him that. He’s constantly talking about you. ________ made me cupcakes. ________ helped me study. ________ went to breakfast with me.“

You fought back a blush and said in a bored tone, “Yea well, We’re just friends. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. I’m so sure at this party he won’t even talk to me. I bet he’ll be busy with Jennie or something.” You felt like Taehyung always got distracted with other people whenever you guys went out. That’s why it always ended with you ditching Taehyung.

“Really? I’ll take that bet. $20?” Yoongi stuck out his hand.

“Bet,” you said, shaking his hand. “He has to imitate the conversation and it can’t be small talk.”

Yoongi nodded in agreement picking up a tray and putting it in the oven,“Can’t wait to make $20 tonight.”

“In your dreams.” you said as you helped him put another tray in the oven.

The cake you ordered got delivered and Jin placed the large strawberry chocolate cake in the fridge.

Since everything was ready, you and Jimin were about to head out from Jin's apartment.

Hobi called from the kitchen in a stern voice, “You both have to be here by 7:30 otherwise I will make you run laps.”

You and Jimin laughed and said goodbye to Hobi.

By the time you got to your dorm, you were kinda exhausted but Hana wouldn't hear it.

“Get up!” She said tugging your arm as you laid on your bed. You reluctantly got up and got ready with Hana. Hana had to force you to actually buy a nice outfit for Taehyung's birthday because you had left most of your nice clothing at home. You helped lace up the back of Hana’s dress and looked at her in admiration. She was wearing a satin navy blue dress that coordinated perfectly with Jungkook's navy suit.

You opted for a floor length skirt that was black with dark pink and white flowers and simple black top.

Once you and Hana were finally ready your phone read 7:15. Hana and you raced out the door after putting on your shoes and found Jungkook leaning against his car outside.

He walked up to Hana and placed a kiss on her cheek and smiled, “Wow, love, you look...so beautiful. I mean you always do but wow.”

Hana gave a shy laugh ,“You have such a way with words. You look handsome too, I guess. C'mon we have to go! Hobi is going to kill us.”

Jungkook opened the door for Hana and looked at you and smirked, “Wow ________ not wearing jeans. It’s a fucking miracle. But I guess she’ll do anything for Tae. Am I right?”

He opened the door for you and you narrowed your eyes at him, “I suggest you watch it Jeon Jungkook if you still want me to proofread your next essay.”

He smirked at you as he hopped into the driver's seat and drove to Jin's apartment.

You hadn’t realized how many people Jimin invited until you went up into Jin's apartment. Jimin had invited, of course, Jennie and the cheerleading squad, some guys from some other frats like EXO and ATEEZ and sororities like TWICE and LOONA. It honestly felt like way too many people but Taehyung was a social butterfly.

By 8:00 Namjoon arrived at Jin's apartment with Taehyung in tow. The surprise went well but you couldn’t really see much as you lingered in the back of the crowd with Yoongi.

“You know you can’t actively hide from Taehyung. That’s not a part of the bet,” Yoongi said as he shoved his hands in his dress pants pockets.

“I’m not actively hiding. I just don’t like crowds,” You said shrugging your shoulders.

Yoongi nodded, understanding the feeling. You got a glimpse of Taehyung and he looked like he just got off of a photo shoot for GQ with his black curly hair and silver earrings. He was wearing a fitting black suit with white shirt and black Tie. Instead of a handkerchief, he had a dark pink carnation pinned to his suit jacket. He was saying hello to everyone, greeting all of his guests in a friendly manner and genuinely chatting with them. You really liked that about Taehyung. He obviously had his people he didn’t like but he was always kind to everyone. He was heading in your direction but Taehyung got pulled aside by Jennie. She pulled him to the couch and practically sat on top of him. Jennie looked really pretty wearing a short satin dark green dress. You sighed, once again feeling those familiar feelings of insecurity. You knew once Jennie got to Taehyung, he would be completely distracted by her. Well at least I’ll get $20 out of it. You sat down on the opposite side of the couch and looked around.

Hana was dancing with Jungkook. Hobi and Jin were trying to get more people up and having fun. Namjoon was with his girlfriend, talking with Yoongi and a couple other guys.

You were wondering where Jimin went but then you felt someone sit next to you on the couch and heard his voice, “Hey _________ why aren’t you dancing?”

You turned to Jimin and saw his beautiful smile flashing at you, “Not really one for dancing I guess. Hana’s the one who dances.”

“Bullshit. Everyone dances. You just gotta be comfortable and have fun.”

“I guess.” You shrugged “There’s just a lot of people here.”

He smiled sheepishly, “Yea I guess I went overboard with the invites.”

“Well I mean as long as Taehyung is enjoying himself,” you said trailing off and glancing in the direction of him. Jennie was still on him, with her hands traveling on his jacket and his tie. You felt a bit nauseous at the sight.

“I think Taehyung is having a good time,” Jimin said laughing at him and Jennie.

You felt that Jimin might have sensed a bit of sadness from you at the fact that you had worked hard on this party for Taehyung and he wasn’t even talking to you as Jimin spent the next hour or so sitting and talking with you.

You could totally understand how Jimin got so many girls with his enchanting smile and charming personality. Your conversation about the stupidity of learning about the cow digestive system in biology was interrupted by Hobi calling everyone over to cut the cake.

Jin placed the cake you had specially ordered for Taehyung in front of him. Taehyung glanced at you for a second because who else would get him a cake covered in your shared favorite fruit. Jennie clung to his arm and squealed, “Okay let’s sing!”

After singing happy birthday, Jin sliced the cake while you and Yoongi took out the food.

“Seems like you’ll be giving me $20 tonight,” you said softly to Yoongi.

“Hmm, I'm still pretty confident. A little hindered for sure, but I do think you’ll be the one losing twenty bucks,” he said smoothly, uncovering the foil from the trays.

You shook your head and resumed sitting on the couch while everyone got food and cake.

You were scrolling through Instagram and suddenly felt your arm being pulled.

By the time you fully registered what was going on, you realized you were being dragged to the guest bedroom in Jin's apartment.

“Ow what the fuck!” You exclaimed, yanking your arm from the person's grip. You looked up and you saw Kim Taehyung.

He closed the door of the bedroom and walked right up to you. You had to almost crane your neck to look up at him. He looked pissed off. It was kinda hard to tell because his curls covered his eyes slightly but you could tell by his silence he was mad. But you were annoyed at his behavior: him ignoring you all night, Jennie being all over him, and him physically dragging you from the party.

You crossed your arms, “What’s your problem Taehyung? Why did you do that?”

Probably not the best way to start off a conversation with the birthday boy but you didn’t really care.

“Excuse me? You’re asking me what my problem is?” Had his voice always been this deep or is it because he’s angry?

“That’s what I fucking said, right?” You said back aggressively.

Then he growled. You had never been particularly intimidated by Taehyung but right now, you were questioning all of that.

“How about the fact that you didn’t talk to me all night? It’s my party for me and you spent the entire night eye fucking Park Jimin. You were talking to him all night and didn’t say a word to me!” He leaned his face closely to yours. His eyes were a fierce obsidian. You could smell his cologne, your knees went weak.

Why the fuck was he acting like this? Was he being jealous or was he actually just mad his friend didn’t say hi? Probably the second one.

You put crossed your arms defensively and stabbed your index finger into his chest, refusing to back down, “Okay Taehyung, chill the fuck out. I was just talking to Jimin because he sat next to me and actually talked to me. You literally went and said hi to everyone but me so it seems like you were ignoring me. Also, how could I come and talk to you when Jennie was sitting on your dick the entire party?”

He scoffed at you, “She wasn’t sitting on my dick. You could have walked over and just said hi. I don’t get why you’re hanging out so much. You’re mine.”

You widened your eyes at his words but before you could say anything He cleared his throat, “I mean you’re my friend.”

You were getting fed up with Taehyung's childish behavior, “Okay first of all, we are just friends. And I’m allowed to have other friends that aren’t you. And you don’t get to say anything about me talking to Jimin because that’s more than you did. Sometimes, I don’t understand you, Taehyung. I never say anything about the way you live your life so why are you saying shit about mine. But I guess if it isn’t clear enough, Jimin and I are friends and if your whiny male ego can’t handle that, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends.” You narrowed your eyes at him and then left the room.

You were furious. How dare he say anything about you when all you do is try to be a good friend? This just reaffirmed your feelings about Taehyung: you didn’t like him. He was completely reckless. He was being so weirdly possessive and jealous even though you two were not dating and didn’t have feelings for each other.

You put your face in your hands and sighed deeply. You felt completely drained and just wanted to go back to your bed to curl up and watch a documentary. These past couple weeks had been so busy that you barely stress baked other than the cookies you made on Monday.

You felt someone sit besides you on the couch and you peeked out of your hands. It was Taehyung. His head hung low with his curls completely covering his eyes.

He whispered in a hoarse voice, “I’m sorry. I'm a dick. And inconsiderate. And a jerk. And I shouldn’t have said those things. I don’t know why I did but I did. And I’m sorry.”

He looked at you and you saw his puppy dog eyes and melted immediately. How the fuck does he have so much control over you?

“It’s okay,” you said quietly

“No it’s not. You didn’t deserve that. You literally planned this party for me. You’re such a caring friend and I’m an asshat.”

You laughed softly, “I mean that’s true but it’s okay cause I know you're sorry.”

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

“What? Like leave?”

“Yea. I like this party and all but it's getting a little hard to breathe in here,” He said tugging on his shirt collar.

You laughed, “I’m always down to ditch a party.”

He pulled you up by the hand and led you through the crowd. He grabbed something from one of the coats hanging by the door and walked out of Jin's apartment with you in tow. You honestly had no idea where you were going but Taehyung kept a firm grip on your hand as he pressed the G button on the elevator.

“Taehyung where are we going?” You said insistently.

“Just relax. Don’t worry. I’ll bring you back to his apartment in one piece,” He said with that iconic mischievous glint in his eye. He led you to Jimin's black audi and opened the door for you. You got in and then he got into the driver's seat.

“Does Jimin know you took his car?” you said pointedly.

“Jimins has been pissing me off and it’s my birthday so he’ll be fine,” Taehyung said as he put his hand behind your chair looking to the rear view window to back up.

You kinda forgot about the destination part of the journey as Taehyung drove. You got lost in the moment of chatting with him about his friends while The Weeknd played in the background. You snapped back to reality when Taehyung put the car in park and you looked around. He had parked in a vacant parking lot overlooking the sea. You stepped out of the car and heard the soft crashing of waves. The scent of salt water immediately relaxed you.

“Nice right?” Taehyung said, making his way to the hood of the car.

You nodded, taking in the beauty and calming scenery, “How did you find this place?”

“I came out to take photos this morning and I drove around the area and stumbled on this place. I knew you would love it.” He sat on the hood of the car and patted the space next to him. You hopped onto the hood of the car and stared at Taehyung. You were always aware that Taehyung was insanely good looking but moments like this where you two were alone and you could clearly see him made you really appreciate everything about him. His boyish innocence, his kind nature, his ability to actually apologize for his actions. It only took the words ‘I’m sorry’ from Taehyung to make you forgive him.

Your eyes drifted to shine that caught your eyes. It came from the rings on his hands. His fucking hands. How the fuck did Taehyung make hands look attractive? You loved the way he wore simple silver rings on his long fingers, the way he always wore the same three bracelets on his wrists, and his vintage Cartier watch on his right hand he received from his parents. You realized you had been staring at his hands for quite some time because he waved his hand in front of your face and said, “Hello? Earth to _______? Why are you staring at my hands?”

You felt a blush creep over your face.“Oh sorry. I just was looking at your rings. It’s cool,” You tried to say as nonchalantly as possible.

“Thanks. I saw Jimin wearing rings the other day and it looked really good so I decided to incorporate it into my style.“

You cleared your throat, trying to change the subject, “So are you and Jennie like together or?”

He chuckled nervously and started to mess with hair like he usually did when he was getting nervous, “No. I mean like we fuck occasionally but like we aren’t an official couple.”

“Oh. That makes sense. I just wasn’t sure with the way she was acting today. It seemed like you guys were a couple. Other than the fact you weren’t matching.” You said with a small laugh.

“Yea. I’m honestly not sure why she’s like that. Whenever she sees me when there are other people around, she gets so clingy. And I don’t really know what to say to her because I’ve made it clear that it’s just sex,” he said, adjusting his watch on his hand. Then he looked at you, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh no reason. Just wanted to make sure.”

“Why? If I said we were together, would you ditch me again?” Taehyung said in a serious tone.

You realized he was referencing how you two became distant once he started dating Yejin.

“Taehyung, it’s more complicated than that.”

“Why is it complicated? You gave me a completely bullshit answer when I asked you.”

You sighed and turned your gaze away from him to the blue sea in front of you, “Because Tae, you can’t have a girlfriend and a girl best friend. Your girlfriend should be your girl best friend. Having both makes things complicated and I didn’t want to fuck anything up between you and Yejin. It was just easier to become distant from you.” That was partly the truth. You didn’t want to be that girl in the relationship and you truly felt that Yejin and Taehyung's relationship deserved to grow without any obstacles. Because that’s what you were: an obstacle in their love.

Taehyung gently placed his hand over yours, “I wish you told me that. I thought you hated me or something.”

You tore your gaze from the crashing waves and looked into Taehyung's dark eyes “I could never hate you.”

He smiled and winked, “Don’t worry. I know that strawberry girl. It’s comforting to know you’re just as whipped for me as I am for you.”

You pushed his shoulder, “Shut up. I’m not fucking whipped for your dumbass.”

He went quiet for a moment and looked deep into your eyes, “I think it’s really sweet you're waiting for love. That you want to experience your firsts with someone you love.”

“You don’t have to say that. It’s really fucking lame.” you said, playing with the ends of your hair, twisting the strands around your fingers.

“I don't think so. It actually makes perfect sense for you.”

“What do you mean?” you said confused, not understanding what he was saying.

“I mean there's a lot of different types of girls. Some like to fuck different people and some would rather not. And that's all fine because everyone has their preferences and a right to live their life the way they want to. I think girls like you are meant for something lasting, girls like you are meant for love.”

You wish you could tell him all of your insecurities about love and romance; that you couldn't possibly fathom someone liking you back but of course, you had insecurities about talking about your insecurities.

All you said was, “One day.”

“I think you’ll find the love of your life soon. You better introduce me to him right away.” He said chuckling, bumping his shoulder against yours.

It was getting really dark but you and Taehyung kept talking as if you had all the time in the world.

“Okay, what’s your favorite quote?” Taehyung excitedly asked. He always came up with the most random but interesting questions to ask you.

“Like from a movie or book or show or poetry?”

“Anything. I know you watch and read a lot of stuff so you must have some lines that have stuck with you.”

“Um. Lemme think. You have to do yours too.”

“Okay bet. Well mine is ‘I wish they would only take me as I am’. Van Gogh said it,” he said in a soft tone.

“Why do you like it?”

“I just...feel like everyone has this perception of me you know? And I have to live up to it.”

“What perception do you think people have of you?”

“I guess the perception that I’m some stupid frat boy who only cares about soccer. I can’t have things I care about like photography or school. I constantly have to be this upbeat happy guy. I can’t have other feelings than that. I can’t have people I care about like my hyungs or you. And I’m automatically a douche for sleeping around. I mean I just wish people understood that I never try to fuck with feelings and I’m always upfront about everything. And no one ever wants to talk to me and get to know who I am. It feels like everyone wants something from me. I just wish” he exhaled deeply, like all of his anxieties were coming out of him, “that people took me as I am.”

You were quiet for a moment. Taehyung had a lot of expectations weighing on him and you had never really considered this internal conflict he was having. You said sincerely, “I hope you get to a point in your life where you don’t have to pretend for other people.”

“I don’t have to pretend when I’m with you.”

You smiled at him “I like the real Taehyung. The one who likes sitting by the ocean and taking pictures of his friends.”

He leaned back on his arms “I’m hoping other people will too. Okay, your turn.”

“Um okay, so mine is from a book. ‘Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done’. It’s from the book Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson.”

“Why do you like that quote?”

You thought for a moment carefully choosing your words, “Because so many people are hard on themselves. Myself included. And we like to beat ourselves up for the mistakes we made. Just dwell on it and let these mistakes define us. It’s hard to pick yourself back up and move forward. But I guess that quote gives me hope. For myself, for humanity.”

Taehyung nodded “I agree. It’s beautiful. I think, humans as a whole, we just are wired to constantly critique ourselves.”

You added, “And also, as a society, we tend to dehumanize anyone who does make a mistake. Like with our system of law and order. Our entire justice system is fucked and is a form of systemic racism that cultivates a binary understanding of morality. It punishes individuals who make mistakes rather than working on reform. It’s just-” you realized you had been talking for a while and turned red, “Sorry I kinda just went off there”

Taehyung just stared at you with awe, “No I like hearing you talk. You’re so fucking smart. Keep going, I wanna hear more about how our justice system is fucked.”

You felt your heart flutter at his words. You continued to explain to Taehyung about the internalized racism in the American justice system and the contemporary issues that are rooted in the systemic oppression of people of color as he listened intently.

After talking for a little while longer, Taehyung glanced at his watch. “It’s almost midnight. We should probably head back.”

You agreed and went to the car. The drive back was peaceful, with you two just enjoying each other’s company. Taehyung parked Jimin's car and you guys headed up to Jin’s apartment.

Before you knocked on Jin's apartment door, Taehyung pulled you to the side. He was holding your hand gently, “Hey. I’m really sorry for how I acted today. It was really bad and you had every right to be mad at me.”

“Tae I told you. It’s okay I’m over it.”

“I know. Thanks for making this night fun.” Then he leaned and planted a kiss on your forehead. You felt his warmth envelop you. Your cheeks turned red immediately and you felt your heart pounding. It felt like time had slowed down as his eyes completely entranced yours. Completely mesmerized, you thought, All I really want to know is what’s running through your mind when you look at me.

You tried to ignore the feeling of your heart melting so you crossed your arms defensively and retorted, “Even though you ditched the fucking party I planned.”

He smirked and knocked on Jin's door, “We both know you wanted to leave.”

Yoongi opened the door and when he saw the two of you standing at the door, a huge smile spread on his face, “Well. Look who it is. I guess the lovely matching couple finally decided to join the party.”

You and Taehyung looked at each other. Fuck. It does look like you’re matching. Taehyung's dark pink carnation pinned to his black and white suit coordinated perfectly with your pink and white flowered black skirt.

“Fuck off,” you glared at Yoongi.

Taehyung just laughed and entered the apartment. As you brushed past Yoongi, he snarked “So where’s my $20?”

You flipped him off, “You’ll get it later.”

You saw that most people were gone which was a bit strange but it made clean up easier. It was just the BTS guys, Hana and you at Jin's apartment from what you could tell. You got to helping Hana clean up all the trash lying around. You were pretty absorbed in cleaning up and didn’t notice all the snickering coming from the direction of the BTS guys.

You looked at Hana in confusion and she shrugged her shoulders, also confused what they were talking about.

You heard Jimin and Hobi laughing really hard and looked over. You saw them doubled over in laughter and a very angry Jin.

“Why the fuck is this happening to me?” He grumbled.

Jungkook patted his shoulders, “Hey hyung. You just gotta let it go. It’s his birthday.”

Then it clicked to you that you hadn’t seen Taehyung since you guys entered the apartment. Hana and you walked over to the kitchen where they all were standing.

Hana, with her hands on her hips, stated, “What in the world is going on? Why are you guys laughing and why is Jin mad?”

They all go silent and look at you.

You furrow your eyebrows, “What? Why are you all looking at me?”

Then you hear it. A very loud and clear moan of Taehyung's name by none other than Jennie. Somehow you manage to remain emotionless and maintain a stone cold face but internally you felt your heart sink to the ground.

“So you guys were laughing over the fact that Taehyung is fucking Jennie in Jin’s guestroom?” You scoffed, “How old are you guys? Five? I’m trying to go home as soon as possible so if we could all hurry this all up, it would make my life infinitely easier.”

You turned your back to the group and hope they bought your indifferent reaction. You continued to clean the apartment and tried to breathe shallow breaths. You tried to ignore the sounds coming from the room as much as you could but Jennie and Taehyung were being very vocal. You felt sick, with waves of nausea hitting you. After 20 minutes, you felt like your head and heart were going to explode.

“Hey Hana. I’m really tired so I’m going to head back.”

She had a concerned look on her face, “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, no I’m fine. I’m going to crash as soon as I get back.”

She nodded, “Okay text me when you reach.”

You gave her a hug and waved bye to the guys. You somehow were able to find the strength to make it back to your dorm.

The second you closed the door to your dorm, you sunk to the ground and the tears you had kept in came pouring out.

It hurt.

Fuck it hurt.

author’s note: thanks for reading! lmk if ur enjoying the fic so far and if u would like to be tagged. pt 3 will be up soon!

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts

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idjitlili · 4 years ago

Text

Hello there.

Kili x reader x obi-wan(slightly)

(Not my image)

Summary: Annoying the company with your 'sword' pretending it's not a metal sword, being unladylike. When in fact it wasn't a sword...it was a lightsaber.

Word count:6036

Warnings: Obi-wan , language, food stealing, dwarf nudity, put some clothes on!

Y/h/c= Your home country.

It was no secret, that you weren't from middle earth, with your strange speech, strange references, oh and the simple fact that you had fallen from the sky knocking Kili right out. Not just Kili but yourself before. You would've been quite embarrassing; if you were awake. Lucky you.

When you eventually you did awake, you were surrounded by below average height men , and man with a grey hair and wizards hat. One of the smaller men? Or dwarf you weren't sure if this was even real, it was strange to see such shorter men. His hair dark, shoulder length, not styled well compared to all the others, as for his beard..it was just stubble. The other men had long braided beards.

Yet there sat this man, very different to the others , barely with it, like he had hit his head, there you felt it , your head felt like your brain was going to pop out. You noticed , a smaller fellow jumping behind the small man to see, his curly blond her upon his head, was all to be seen.

The man that looked right out of a wrestling ring, glared at you , judging you, as did the one with ocean eyes and majestic hair. You hands behind you in the dry dirt, your heart beating heavily, shaking almost. "Uhm, w-what is h-" you didn't even get a sentence out before you were interrupted by the beardless short man.

"Well you fell out of the sky and fell on me, knocking me straight out." The man was not quite happy, "uhm, I guess I'm sorry? I didn't plan from falling from the sky, I'll try next time to see where I'm falling, but oh right, I never consented to be thrown from the sky, last time I was conscious I was- actually I do not remember." Blabbering on, even though really you should be terrified.

In the end , Gandalf and Thorin questioned you, as if they were Holt and Terry, Gandalf being Terry.

"Where do you come from, human?" The mans face frowning, the same as he had as you awoke, he spoke with sternly, as if you were a threat. Extremely intimidating. Now the others had left ,as you now sat in front of the two men.

"Uh, y/h/c." Their clothing didn't sit right with you, nor did you ever see anyone with such extreme hair styles. Maybe it was a cult? The old man , and the slightly younger man looked at each other , then back to you , clearly confused, well the younger one anyways.

"Tell me dear, have you ever heard of Erebor?"

Thus, for whatever reason you were apart of this dwarven company, as it were. No one was sure what in gods earth caused you to be here, well there's no 'God' in middle earth, not called God anyways.

Honestly, you didn't know what to do with yourself: no blankets, no spare clothes, no nothing except you , your thin graphic t-shirt, jeans and shoes. Thorin was definitely no help, oh yes and no money. Who would accept plastic notes as currency here? Nor were coins from where you lived were made from gold.

Oh wait you did actually have something other than you and your clothes , you had tiny little sword, which was in fact just an letter opener, you must've been opening the post before you fell out of the sky.

Not only was it awkward between you and all the dwarves, you did not fit in. Oh yes, Gandalf explained to you that elves and wizards existed, basically explained everything. Thorin had decided this was the place they would rest for the night, so you didn't have to do any travelling... except from falling out of the sky.

You could only think, it must suck to shit squatting, oh yes you'd have to face shitting the forest soon enough... without toilet paper too. It is not even like you can be certain that no one is going to walk into the forest and find you shitting or even worse no pads bleeding out.

You were definitely not looking forward to that, since there was no confirmation that you'd be getting home anytime soon.

So, now as the day grew dark, you sat against a large rough pine tree, the cold from the ground rising up your body. Knees pulled right up to your chest, your arms tight around, as goose bumps covered you like paint covers a wall. Hair dropping down your face as you leaned forward head on top of your knees.Staring at your feet, and the ground.

You thought on what your family must think, maybe it was like the labyrinth and they had forgotten that you had even existed. Bloody hell, Jareth, you didn't even wish for this to happen.

Not breaking out of thought when three pairs of boots, and a pair of overly large hair feet, were stood in front of you. "Lass?" Even then, you didn't realise, only noticing their presence when a hand was placed onto your shoulder.

Only then did you realise, looking up to see the the beardless man that you knocked out, somehow, another man with a hat , the other below average height man that looked like lion cross Seth rogen , and the jumping small fellow. "O-oh hi?" Strange that's the only way you could put it, the two brunettes grinning largely down at you.

"Excuse their bad manners, my lady. That is Kili, my brother , Bofur, and this little fellow is Bilbo Baggins... Oh right, and I am Fili at your service." Each of them doing a little bow, Bilbo's face redden a little , being called little. What did he expect, 'Oh yes, this giant fellow with the fat ass is Bilbo.' Them staring at you waiting for you to introduce yourself.

"Uh, I'm y/n." Standing up , daring to do a small curtsey, with a small blush, surprised really that anyone had even approached you.

"Beautiful name, perfect, I guess I'm falling for you already, miss y/n , you know since you knocked me out."

You almost blushed at the m-Kili's words, now blushing in embarrassment. "I didn't me-" "he's only messin' with yer, lass, don't yer worry," The hatted dwarf know as Bofur had smiled at you, only to get a jab in the side by kili, only for him to return it twice as hard.

"I'm sorry, miss y/n? I'm just wondering about your clothing-" Bilbo had began to questions your clothing choice, only to be interrupted, bad manners? Definitely. "Yes, those pants are very lovely, can you do a spin-" "OI," A big muscly man, the one that had glared at you earlier had smacked the beardless dwarf on the back of his head, letting out a Yelp of pain.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted was, are you not cold? You are barely dressed!" You had choked out a snort, at the hobbit , who had glared at Kili, he really did not like dwarves interrupting, well anyone, he's not racist.

"I'm not dressed? You've got no socks on! My mum would have scolded me, even if I just got out of the bath. 'Y/n, where's your socks! You are going to get ill! Y/n, I don't care if you have just sat down, go get your bloody socks on.' " Starring back at you feet, now stretched across the mud, it was incredibly awkward, well until they had started laughing.

"That's just like our Amad, right, fee?" Kili had called to his brother, before sitting down on the mud near you. "Oh yes, remember when Amad told you not eat all that cake-" Looking over to Kili who's face flushed red, interrupting his brother.

"Don't you dare." Bofur , Fili and Bilbo sat down, you sat in a circle, Fili trying to hold back from laughing. "Well ye gotta tell us now,Fili." Bofurs hand supported his head eager for Fili to continue. Bilbo the same, he loved stories. Kili's pleading eyes, were no match for his brother.

"Alright, so he ate all the cake, this stuff was heavily creamed, sweets covered it, it could feed 12 dwarves, that's saying a lot. Our Amad strictly told us, mostly Kili, not to eat it."

Fili's moustache braids jiggled as he talked, very distracting, letting out a small chuckle while talking a breath. "Anyways, Amad woke up in the morning, she was not happy at all, she had yelled so loud, that me, Kili, and Thorin were awoken from upstairs. All three of us rushed down the stairs, to see the table with no cake, just the plate. Amad stood there with her face redder than a smacked bosom, hands on her hips."

Kili face now in his hands, Fili grinning larger and larger by the second. " She had looked all three of us done, before calling Kili towards him, and it was dreadfully obviously his hair had cake crumps throughout it, he got scolded so bad."

"Is that it ," Bilbo was disappointed with the outcome, he had thought it would've been more suspenseful. "No master Baggins, Thorin later took us for training with Dwalin as well as many other viewers. Basically what happened was Dwalin threw him over his head and he landed on the floor, when he finally tried to stand up he let loose the loudest wet fart. Then, he stood up and the back of his pants were covered, and out the ends of his trousers... he had to walk home like that."

Bursts of laughter had erupted through the circle, Kili just looked horrified with his brother, placing your hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to you, with a sad smile.

"Don't feel bad, someone I knew yawned up to the sky and a bird shat in her mouth, to make matters worse she was afraid to tell anyone so she spat it out, and stood there with bird shit taste."

Looking at you wide eye, "T-they did what?"

"A bird shat in their mouth."

"Such crude language, yet suddenly I feel much better." Kili smiling up to you, the other three still laughing about Kili's shitty pants.

A friendship between you and the dwarf ,you knocked out, began. Over the months you had gotten more comfortable with the company.

Soon enough you were all captured by trolls, but you were sleeping so, you woke up and everyone was packing to leave. You were very confused indeed, Thorin had announced that you all were leaving for a troll cave.

Gandalf had merged after Thorin with two swords , calling you and Bilbo over. Wow, free stuff.

What Gandalf had not expected was your behaviour later on at Rivendell... Bathing and changing at Rivendell, eating some rabbit food, it was soon time for second dinner and after that bed.

Roaming the grounds of Rivendell the next month, you had bumped into Bilbo. That's when it started, you had already been messing with your sword. When Bilbo had approached you, seeing your cheeky grin he didn't know whether to run.

"M-morning ,miss y/n?" Speaking uncertain of himself, partly nervous, you had been pretty unpredictable, you know falling out the sky?

"Morning ,Bilbo! How are you feeling?" Swinging your sword in like it was baton or baseball bat, almost dropping flat on your face.

"I'm fine , thank you. Uh..." The sword now between your legs, swinging it around. "Bilbo look, it's my cock." Bilbos face now red, your crude language tended to fluster the poor hobbit, sorry the rich hobbit.

"Miss y/n, I do not think that's quite appropriate.." You head snapping towards the hobbit, your face dropped, instantly Bilbos mouth is gapped. "Oh- I didn't mean any offence." Taking a step forward, Bilbo had stepped back , another and another.

Bilbo had ended up sprinting , you chasing him, well until an elf had offered you pastry's. Continuing your walk around the grounds, munching on your pastry, distracted by your breakfast you didn't notice the dwarf in front of you until the last second.

"Where's your trousers?!" You had made eye contact with something other than his eyes, it was painfully obvious. Meeting his actual eyes, the smirk on his face, concluded that he had seen you check him out, flushed pink cheeks.

"Fili took my clothes."

"Why would he want to see you running around naked,-cover up gosh!" Your voice getting higher by the second.

"Well, my lady with what?" You had thrown your pastry at the dwarf, now quite put off; even though his size was quite large. Instead covering himself he began to eat the remaining amount of the pastry.

You had scoffed, walking around the dwarf, away from his naked body.

What did catch you off guard again was a man popping out from a pillar , his longish hair blond, his eyes ocean blue, his beard trimmed, his shirt beige , with a brown leather belt around his waist. You didn't know how to describe it, you jumped when he spoke.

"Hello there,"

How could be here? In a land of dwarves, elves and wizards? It was Obi-wan Kenobi, surely he should've been in the high ground? I mean, chopping some legs...so Anakin is leg a less, because his legs Aragorn.

"General Kenobi!" Kili had to turned around, to see you running at a strange man, who was General Kenobi, turning back round he had stomped off back to the company... to gossip.

"What are you doing here, Obi-wan?" His arms held behind his back as you two walked through Rivendell together, the truth was that you had never met before.

"I'm here because of you, y/n...the Council has sent me to help you. The universe is in great danger, again."

Then, you found out your real purpose was in middle earth; to save the line of Durin, With Obi-wan Kenobi as your master you as the pad awan. However, of course you did not have the force, he was just going to teach you how not to be damsel in distress.

You didn't know how this would bring you so close to the Jedi knight..

Obi-wan, had hid until half a day from Rivendell, when you had gestured him to come out, Kili had let out the most over dramatic gasp possible. "I told you he was real!"

That definitely caught the attention of the whole company, stopping, turning , drawing there weapons, Fili pulling you out the way.

"Why are you following us?" Thorins voice boomed over the winds, you couldn't imagine how your eardrums would certainly burst if he had a microphone. Getting of the grips of the dwarves again, standing between Obi-wan and the axes of the company.

Little Bilbo just watched the slope of the mountain with amusement. "What are you doing, y/n?!"

"You stubborn dwarves, if I was walking with him with no fuse, you'd think that he was with me, he's here to help me." Kili had scoffed, nor did any of other dwarves look convinced, Obi-wans hands on his hips, puffing his chest, revealing his lightsaber.

"I've had enough, I don't care what you say Thorin, he is my protection, he's not taking any of the reward, now let's go, he is not the enemy." Maybe you told a small lie, it would not go down well if Thorin knew Obi-wan was there to protect him and his nephews.

"At the front, both of you, now." And you were walking again, you and Obi-wan at the front.

Though, all together you were from three different universes, you from one which starwars was just a set of films, and series. It felt weird. Knowing he died, old, and he didn't look himself.

"Wait, so, Qui-Gon basically died of STDs, because he so many that it slowed him down? I thought it was a rule not have attachments; but he could sleep around?" I mean, if that's the case... you are very handsome, I'm not the best looking, nor have I ever.."

Your face felt hot, that was more than light flirting, really you had only known him for 27 hours, your crush on him though, that developed from watching him on screen.

Now concentrating on where you were going, surprised when Obi-wan had let out a laugh.

"My lady, you must be mistaken, you are absolutely beautiful." Your face flushed pink, wrapping your arm around Obi-wan's arm, his eyes watched you as you did, not hilding hands or anything just his arm. There are times in life when words are not needed.

Soon enough it was time to stop, when the company approached a large path on the mountain, so big that the company could sit in a circle if they desired. Along the way many of the dwarves had collected sticks and branches for a fire.

Right against the mountain wall you had set up your bed roll, and dropped your cloak from the elves on it as a blanket, you were sure to remember to share with Obi-wan later. Obi one had copied you, dropping his cloak neck to yours, as you both stood next to each other, the sky now dark, the smell of dinner lingered in the air.

The glow of the fire lit up Obi-wan's face, his beard now more orange, his blue eyes focused on you.

"Hey, um, Obi-wan...can I hold your lightsaber?" His hands on his beige tunic, eyeing you down, one of a second, before handing you the weapon.

The lightsaber, heavy in your hands, yet still you were swinging it like you were playing tennis on the wii. "Um, Obi, can I please..?" Turning to face the Jedi with pleading eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders casually nodding.

With that you had pressed the button, there stood the blue blade in front of your very eyes. Bilbo had noticed almost immediately spitting out his food, who in their right mind would give her a weapon?

Noticing Bilbos sudden uncomfortableness, grinning at him, as the saber made its way between your legs. "Hey Bilbo,Check out how big my dick is!" Bilbo had put his bowl of food down, and his behind Thorin, brooding.

"Uhm, lass? What is that?" Bofur wearily, spoke, eyeing the saber not blinking,like many other dwarves. Balin flinching as you waved it between your legs.

"It's a lightsaber, the weapon of Jedi's. Hey, Kili, sorta looks like your dick ,if it was a hundred times smaller. " Not that you were looking at Kili, his face flushed as he chocked out his stew, Thorins eyes burning into the back of the head, he would speak to him later.

"Oi, when did you get a look at Kees , lad?" Fili wan most amused at the situation, Kili knocking him in the ribs.

"Well , what happened was I got a pastry at Rivendell, and Kili almost whacks into me. Yeah, and he was naked, so, not that I like to give away food, I throw the pastry at him and Obi-wan appears and saves me. End of story."

Now swinging the lightsaber like it was a golf club, you wondered if Obi-wan had to charge his lightsaber. Kili now standing up , walking over to you as the dwarves forget about the story, simply because it wasn't rare that they went around naked.

"Oi, Kili , throw that stick at me, so I can hit it."

Kili had planned on telling you a piece of his mind, how his dick was not small, but there you were not a care in the world, waiting for him to pick up the stick.

His eyes searched the stone floor when his eyes catch, a thick stick not a twig. Without a thought he threw it, your eyes waiting, standing like you were going to play baseball or rounders. Swinging your arm slicing through the stick, causing it to slam to the floor in two separate pieces.

"I'm sorry, but what in middle earth is a Jedi and why do they have that, what even is that!"

Obi-wan just stood by you chest puffed, huge smirk on his face, as Kili ranted slightly , fear embedded in his eyes as he stood back as you swung the weapon around more, it was not surprising that the company were also in slight shock.

"This man is a Jedi." Pointing at Obi-wan before turning fully towards him, ignoring the others questions. "Okay, now teach me, master..." A grin across your face, as Obi-wan took the saber from your hands, turning it off, before standing behind you.

Turning your back into place, your feet in the correct stance, his back against yours as ushered you take your sword from his hands. His hot breath briefly against your neck. Once you had done, his back peeled from yours, and he had done the same.

Throughout the next months, Obi-wan had continued to teach you how to defend yourself

, Kili always disagreeing on Obi-wand methods, suggesting he would be better to teacher you.

That was until you were all captured at Mirkwood. Of course, Obi-wan tried to use the force on the elves, however , due to being immortal they weren't easily controlled. Somehow he did it still, only allowing you and him to escape, due to being human. What you didn't understand though, why was Obi-wan such a flirt.

The blond elf, the one that looked straight off like a princess, had stared at you and Obi-wan with his eyebrows raised. His light foot steps, couldn't be heard as he glided towards you both, standing close to Obi-wan, as the dwarves were search. Legolas excluding you two from it, using the side of your body to hide the lightsaber at Obi-wan's belt.

"Why are two humans travelling with dwarves?" Was this elf wearing tights? David Bowie could get away with it because that ass and overall god looks, but the colour scheme on this blond elf was not it. Wondering if his dick could even breathe, maybe it shrank.

Looking at Obi-wan, who was smouldering at the elf, his lips slightly pushed out his blue eyes sharp, his long hair flowing. But..there was no wind. His hand doing a weird gesture like waving.

"We are not, we are trying to get lake town, as I have finally decided to meet my darlings parents. You will let us go." You were surprised when Obi-wan had wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close to him. Your eyes wide, you really didn't think you were going to get out of this, how many times had you all been captured? Too many times.

"Go, follow the path, goodbye." Obi-wan had quickly let go of your waist , talking your hand, pulling you away, false smiles on your faces as you left. Trying not raise suspicion, Kili had watched the whole thing, scoffing in disgust, watching you and Obi-wan walking away.

You wanted to help the dwarves you really did;but Obi-wan had assured you they didn't need your help. You both waiting in the safe forest outside of the woodland realm, waiting for the dwarves.

Not only had Obi-wan had taught you basic defensive skills, but you had became extremely close. Here you were, stuck in a forest, no bedrolls no nothing, due to Azog. Nights were cold, so cold, as Obi-wan's duty to protect you, you both decided for your survivals there was only one way.

The fire low, so that you would not be detected by Orcs, Obi-wan and you snuggling up together, his arms around your waist, knees tucked under yours. Body heat being the only thing from stopping you both freezing to death.

During this week, what disturbed you the most, was Obi-wan's french accent...Considering there was no earth in the star-wars universe. If that matter you weren't sure. He'd pop the accent out at random moments, going to bathe in a stream?

"Do you need a chaperone, mon amour?" No, he did not go in the water with you, he just stood guard, holding his arm out to walk you to the stream and even back. Though you did have to wait by the stream while he was bathing , with his lightsaber in your hand, just in case.

However,one day when you you were bathing Obi-wan had almost had a heart attack when you let a gasp, running out of the hair all across your face, running smack into him. Your bare body against his robes, soon as he made eye contact with you he knew it was nothing life threatening.

"When I said 'You don't have time to be timid, you must be bold and daring' this was not what I mean." Obi-wan's stuck to yours , reassuring your privacy, even though his back was against the mud , your whole body pressed against him. Again with the accent, Obi-wan's smile small, your hands against his chest, as laugh erupted from your mouth.

"What is, Ma Cherie?"

"Only reason I'm laying on you butt naked is because a fish brushed against my leg." Obi-wan's once sincere face replaced with a grin you snuffled your laughter against his neck. Your cold skin against his , as vibrations travelled through his body, a laugh from his lips travelling to your ears. A few minutes passed, with you just against Obi-wan as you laughed together.

"This would be very embarrassing ,if the company found us now."

"I'll close my eyes, and you can go get dressed,"

That was it with that, Obi wan would never disrespect your modesty, it is not like when Kili had shown off on purpose.

The next day, you had caught up with the company and an injured Kili. However, the french accent was not lost...

Kili's faced laced with sweat, as you and Obi-wan made your way to the compan, his eyes met yours. He felt relieved that you had came back, yet anger still bubbled down in inside.

"I thought ye had left us." Bofur popping up infront of you two, his eyebrow raise.

"No, figured from I heard about that king , it was not the best if he had got a hold of Y/n, it is my mission to protect y/n." Bofur , along with Gloin, Dori and few others nodded in agreement.

Your eyes drifting from Obi-wan's face, back to Kili, his thigh seeping with blood,you had grabbed Obi-wan by the hand pulling him over with you towards Kili. Obi-wan meeting your eyes once again, confused with your actions. "Obi.. help him."

Letting go of your hand, Obi-wan had brought his hand over the wound, Kili tried to protest, only to be shut down by Fili. Kili felt tugging on his skin, the pain slowly disappearing, a few seconds late Obi-wan had remove his hand, stood up, made his way back to you. "W-what? H-how did you?"

This is what you and Obi-wan were sent here to do, save the line of Durin. After that, not even seconds Bard had arrived, the company was on their way again, no delays, except being caught by the master, which kind of annoyed

Obi-wan, getting to be called that without being a Jedi , disgraceful.

After that, it was one more boat ride away, and climbing more mountains. Within three hours , you feet began to blister, the knocks harsh, you wondered how Bilbo could do it, he was a happy chappy. Obi-wan next to you, had immediately picked up on you change. His eyes caught onto yours like a magnet, within seconds you were on his shoulders, hanging. Just like Anakin had carried him unconscious, he could've carried you anyway way but he decided on potato sack really?

"B-Ben!" The little shriek had erupted from your mouth in surprise, in reality it sounded like he had just made you orgasm. Your face flushed, as Obi-wan grip tightened around your thigh. "Yes, Ma Cherie?" Again with Obi-wan doing the french accent, letting out a groan.

"Never mind." For the next three hours you are carried on Obi-wan's shoulders, you couldn't imagine how his back feels. There's no negotiating with the negotiator. Your stomach ached from just being on his back. You did get to sleep for a while, which was great.

“Obi, I can walk now." Your face next the side of his face, softly speaking to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." With that you were back on the ground, walking with the rest of the company, though you didn't speak to many of the other dwarves much, you found yourself away from Obi-wan and in the company of Fili, who had left the company of his brother. Your conversation had started out normal, Fili telling you about the Elves, and Bilbo saving them.

"Are you courting the man?" Eyes widening at the dwarves words, it was no doubt that you had liked him watching him on screen, but no way he had made advances, had he? He could not, it's not the Jedi way. Why did he flirt with you all the time. As you two grew close, you felt you chest tightening, you could feel that way. Just months ago you had felt the same for Kili, but then Obi-wan had appeared.

"No, why do you ask?" Your face felt hot, unbearably hot, embarrassed that you had been clearly flirting back to Obi-wan.

"It's just that my brother... don't know if you have noticed he has been not himself, and well I think it's because of you and Obi-wan." Fili whispered to you, you could barely hear him, but when you did make out what he was saying, why would Kili not himself because you and Obi-wan, had you offended him some how?

"What do you mean? Why would it be our fault?" It was not appropriate but a chuckle still left his lips, Fili could not understand how you could be so blind.

"You and Obi-wan flirt publicly a lot..." Then it hit you, the reason Kili could barely look at you anymore, you had not really ever have someone like you let alone possibly two. Blush upon your cheeks, "Oh.."

"Now, you must understand, y/n , if you don't feel for him, you must put him down, do you love Obi-wan?" Turning you face back to look at Obi-wan, who had been watching his steps, as he talked to Bilbo, who seemed to be deep into conversation. When Obi-wan's blue eyes had finally caught yours, his lips had turned up in a smile, before you turned back to the blond haired dwarf.

Fili's moustache braids jigging, as you all walked, waiting for your response.

"Jedi's aren't allowed attachments; it would never work out."

“Do you love him?” Repeating the same question, how could you know if you loved him, why would it matter it would never work out, Fili clearly didn’t want his brother heartbroken because you couldn’t decide.

“I d-don’t know, Fee,”

“Do you love Kili?”

“Really, Fili, I don’t know.”

Fili, had suggested to speak to Kili later, what if you only loved Obi-wan platonically?

Once Thorin had stopped the company for the night, and when the sky was dark. Only the glow of the fire upon your faces, Fili had left his brother on a log, making eye contact with you, gesturing for you to swap with him. Sitting upon the rough log, thighs touching, Kili had turned slightly jumping when realising it was you, his brown eyes now looking to yours with the flame of the fire reflected into them. His face with no expression at all, he didn’t even say anything to you. A string of pain, flowed through your heart, you hadn’t realised how you hadn’t spoken to Kili in months, properly anyways.

You had wrapped your arms around Kili neck, your cold flesh against Kili’s neck, as you pulled him into a tight hug, slowly he had accepted it. Wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, his dark hair, tickling your neck.

“I’m sorry, Kili.” Pulling away, Kili brows scrunched together, his dark eyes searching your face, he thought he had done something wrong, and was going you space, also think mostly that you and Obi-wan were courting. However, Fili had informed him that you were not courting, he wished he could scold his older brother, for being nosy.

“W-why?” He had been jealous of your behaviour towards Obi-wan no doubt about that, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for his feelings, you could like anyone you wanted, you are beautiful, bodaciously so.

“Because I haven’t spoken to you for months, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s just...you promise not to repeat this to anyone, especially your uncle?” Kili knew it, you didn’t like him, but his uncle? Yuck, he couldn’t be mean to you though, you were nothing but nice to him. Instead he just nodded, with a small smile.

“Thank you..the real reason why Obi-wan and I were sent here, well is to keep the line of Durin alive, must have a big effect on all the universes otherwise, two people from separate universes would not have been sent. So, we’ve been keeping this secret, it’s been hard, that’s why I spend so much time with Obi-wan.”

Kili’s eyes never left yours, as you spoke, taking a deep breath before you continued on, you were scared for the safety of your friends, Thorin didn’t care what you were doing , because you and Obi-wan were quiet and kept to yourselves, he saw how effective in battle Obi-wan was and didn’t complain. He needed the man power, there was no doubt about that.

“If I am totally honest, I do love Ben, and if he was allowed to be with me, I wouldn’t be with him, it’s not the way of the Jedi. He is my best friend, that is a gentleman, I’m sorry, but his back must’ve killed carrying me like a sack of potatoes. Plus, when we were waiting for you... I was having a bath, he was on guard and fish brush against me, I went running, fell flat on him, that was definitely not a pretty sight for hi-“

“You what?” Kili was scared to know what you were getting and frankly disturbed that Obi-wan had seen you vulnerable. You had reached and gripped his, large dwarven hand, tightly, rough, yet so warm...

“ Doesn’t matter, he was very respectful. Anyways, what I was getting at Kili, is that.. I c-can’t live within you...I love you, not platonically either, I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. I wouldn’t if I was you.” Before you could blink , his soft lips upon your, your hands in you his hair pulling him close, his hands back around his waist.

You finally felt certain of something.

Bonus:

Kili was not the slightest happy when you accidentally cut a lock of his hair off with the saber.

“Hey, Ben, can I cut your hair too?”

“Fuck off, I’m the only Jedi left with good hair, you touch it you’ll become a baked potato.”

“Okay I’m sorry!”

“mon Cherie , I could never harm you, for I love you like a dog.”

“Oi, stop flirting.” Kili had interrupted, petting his burnt detached hair.

“He just called me a dog, that’s not flirting,”

#obi wan fluff #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit x reader #hobbit imagine #hobbit imagines #the hobbit imagines #Kili x reader #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x y/n #the hobbit kili #kili the dwarf #hobbit x you #hobbit x y/n #obi wan imagine #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #crossover

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mariamermaid · 4 years ago

Text

The Heir of Silberstein; luftige Turbulenzen (ch. 3)

“breezy turbulences”

Fred Weasley x fem Reader

Summary: As a new school year approaches in Hogwarts, the students are surprised when Dumbledore introduces a group of German siblings joining the school. The royal family of fortress Silberstein is now sent to Hogwarts to learn the matters of a normal teenager life. …

Words: 3.k

Masterlist

Having siblings, especially brothers wasn´t always easy.

But the true meaning of how different Hendrik´s and August´s thinking, wasn´t fully apprehended by you until the Quidditch game two days later. The impact of the letter hadn´t left your body.

In the two days, you hadn´t talked to either of them. You hadn´t even seen them, they avoided each other as well as you and Ruth. The youngest of the four of you, grasped the situation barely. It didn´t help that she felt even more left out. Hendrik and August were stubborn in their own ways and knowing you couldn´t convince them to talk, you at least decided to show up to the Quidditch game. Ruth sat with you in the Gryffindor tower, together you shared a bowl of salted caramel popcorn, which your little sister happily munched on.

The tower wasn´t as filled as the week before, the game between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but the true Quidditch fans still showed up. However, it still surprised you when Fred and George joined you.

“Oh Ruth, this is Fred and George Weasley, friends of mine.” You turned to the Twins and gestured towards your sister. “Guys, you know my sister Ruth, right?”

Gentlemen-like in a humorous way, just like their personalities, they shook her small hand. “Pleasure meeting the second princess”, Fred smiled. “Always at your service!”

Ruth blushed and giggled; you could already tell, that she liked them.

“How´s the game going anyways, Y/n?” Fred now asked while George tried to steal popcorn from your sister. You peered over the pitch, furrowing your eyebrows. Last week at the game, it had been warm and sunny, but today? Thick, gray clouds hung over the school and individual, cold droplets of rain started falling. The wind was hollering around the towers and felt like a whip against your skin.

“They play back and forth, but it´s not really coming together.” Fred followed your eyes and shrugged. “They had worse weather conditions before, I´m sure they handle it.”

“No, there is something else going on between them”, you shook your head and Fred, who noticed your wary eyes on your brothers, raised his eyebrow. He could only guess that some kind of argument had involved between August and Hendrik, but he realized, that you didn´t want to talk about it. At least not with Ruth there. A look of worry spread in his face and you pressed your lips to a thin line, not knowing how to answer it.

Soon the rain became thicker and gusting wind pushed the players around. Hendrik, who had apparently caught sight of something, which you only guessed as the golden snitch, August left his position to follow him. Draco, Slytherin´s actual keeper seemed to shout something at him, but you couldn´t hear the words. August continued to ignore him and follow his brother. Shoulder to shoulder they bumped into each other and Ruth hissed in fear they´d crash.

“Solche Idioten!”, you muttered in between breaths. (What idiots!)

The entire audience watched captivated. Whatever was happening, it didn´t have much to do with the actual game.

“Vielleicht solltest du einmal auf mich hören, jedenfalls bevor du deinen Arsch auf den Thron platzierst!“ August huffed and Hendrik´s eye shot angrily at him. (Maybe you should listen at least once to me, before sitting down your ass on the throne!)

“Albrecht wird uns ausstoßen noch bevor Vater es merken wird, siehst du das etwa nicht?“ (Albrecht is going to expel us before father will even realize, don’t you see it?)

He continued while they circled the towers. Hendrik tried to get rid of him, but August was determined.

“Das ist Schwachsinn, Albrecht hat kein Recht auf die Krone und das weiß jeder! Nur weil du ihn nicht leiden kannst, ist er nicht gleich der Bösewicht!“ (That´s nonsense! Albrecht has no right for the crown and everybody knows it! Just because you don´t like him, doesn´t mean he is a villain!)

„Und Vaters Krankheit, die aus dem nichts auftauchte?“ (And father´s illness, which showed up out of nowhere?)

August took a run-up, before crashing into Hendrik again. The oldest lost his balance, not completely, but enough to knock him off his course. The game was put in the rear for them.

“Unterstellst du seinem treuesten Diener ihn zu vergiften?! Das ist verrückt!“ (Do you ascribe his most loyal servant, to poison him? It´s madness!)

„Denk doch nach, es ist die einzige Erklärung! Vaters plötzliche Krankheit, uns wegzuschicken, damit er die Krone an sich krallen kann!“ (Think about it, it´s most logical explanation! Father´s sudden sickness, shipping us away, so he can clutch the crown for himself?)

„Du hast nicht ein Beweis dafür!“ (You have not a single proof for it!)

„Er hat Mutters Ring!“ (He has mother´s ring!)

Quiet, sudden and unexpected. None of you ever talked about it, not that there was much to talk. The two brothers floated in the air, still and starring, as if somebody had pushed a pause bottom.

It had been a night like this, stormy and dark. Rain was falling cold as ice daggers; Ruth was barely a year old. Queen Johanna was on a trip with her Pegasus, but time passed and she didn´t come back in the evening.

Two days passed and the whole kingdom searched for her, all they found were last rags of her dress and a deadbeat Pegasus, that was barely breathing. It laid at the side of the river, where the deadly streams came to an end and the waterfalls left nothing, but a breeze in the air. Severe injuries and a trauma, which caused all happiness to seize within the once relentless creature.

Queen Johanna died in an accident.

She left behind a broken king beneath a heavy crown and four siblings as half-orphans. It felt like an even deeper bond was formed in the family, but in reality, you drove apart.

The bond was nothing, but a façade and the crown was nothing but pure pressure.

“Du Lügner!” (You liar!) Hendrik screamed and he pushed himself forward on his broomstick. He smashed right into August, who was taken by surprise by his sudden rage. August couldn´t grab the broomstick in time, falling off and trying to hold onto Hendrik. But the oldest was blind in rage.

They spun and twisted around, quickly sailing towards the ground.

Ruth, the Weasley twins and you, as well as many other spectators, jumped off their seats. You barely heard the yell that escaped Ruth´s lips, you watched in horror as the two tumbled into the depths. Shock captivated you, leaving your body numb and unable to fulfill any commando from your brain. All you did was stand there and watch.

You were sure, that you heard the collision with the ground, even though you were hundredths of feet away and flinched at the hard sound. A gasp for air left your mouth and your lunges inflated.

The prior shock rolled of your body and finally, your feet reacted. As fast as possible, you´re legs almost felt like leaving the ground, you sprinted towards the two boys. None of them moved a muscle. Madame Hooch was already at their side, inspecting the incident and several players from both teams joined her. Ruth, who wasn´t half as fast as you, approached with the twins dogging her. She immediately started crying, but Madame Hooch was quick to make her statement; a few broken bones and a heavy concussion, that knocked them out.

They would heal.

But that was none of your concern. Whatever had happened between them, it was important enough to make Hendrik snap. It was important enough, to make them go against the Quidditch game, not to mention in front of the entire school. It was important enough, to fall into a potential death just to prove a point.

It constituted a supreme importance.

And the only two people, who knew what it was, laid unconsciously in the dirty grass.

Ruth, who was kneeling besides her two brothers, tears still in their eyes, didn´t noticed how you stepped away from the scene. George had taken your place at her side, putting an arm carefully around her. But Fred realized you leaving and started following you. To say you were angry, was an understatement.

“Y/N, what happened there?” He asked, while trying to catch up with you. You were incredible fast to his surprise and even angrier. Something was seething inside you.

“I don´t know exactly!”

He grabbed your wrist to stop you from further escaping. People often were afraid of touching you, fearing it would end in a punishment, but Fred didn´t care. Or at least he didn´t have the time to give it much thought.

“But you do know something?”

He paused, eyeing you; the wind had messed up your neat hair and your face was convulsed with anger. You didn´t look like the princess he had first seen, you looked like the storm brewing in the skies, waiting to collapse down to earth.

“You all do, you´re hiding it.”

You waited seconds and even minutes, avoiding his glance and pondering, how much you should tell.

“Our father, the king, he´s ill. Very ill.”

Fred raised his eyebrow, not comprehending how bad the situation actually was.

“We don´t how long he will survive anymore.”

And as simple as that, you blurted everything out. From your father´s sudden sickness and the idea to form a new school. How you felt this apprehension towards Albrecht and how Hendrik prepared for his new title.

Fred Weasley stayed quiet and for the first time, he suddenly looked smaller next to you. He just began realizing, or at least grasping, of how much weight was on your shoulders.

When you came to an end, he was left speechless and not knowing what else to do, he pulled you into a tight hug. Pressing your head against his chest and he felt your constant shivering.

“I don´t know what to do, Freddy.”

You admitted quietly, barely a whisper. His hand came up to the back of your head, softly stroking down to your back. “I don´t like saying it, but you might be right.”

You sniffled and lurked up to him, he replied with an apologetic smile. “Well after your bad feeling towards this Albrecht guy-.“ The German name sounded only poorly pronounced. “And the fight between Hendrik and August, something is most definitely wrong.”

A soft chuckled escaped your lips, even in this seemingly hopeless situation, he made you laugh.

“So, what do you recon I shall do?”

Carefully, just now realizing, how close he had come, hell Fred Weasley was touching a real-life princess! His hands gently stroke your cheek to finally cup your face.

“You won´t be doing anything, at least not alone!”

“So, tell me again, what exactly are we doing?” George asked nervously, while walking up and down in front of the infirmary. Obviously, Fred and you told him.

“We need to know what August said”, you repeated calmy. The second twin, who had just recently found out about the heap of secrets and potential threats, was clearly caught off guard.

“Why do you think it was August, who drew the final straw?”

“I know Hendrik and what he thinks, if he knew anything of great importance, he would´ve told me.” George nodded understanding; he was coming to understand the plan.

“But if there is an actual threat, we just do what?” He then asked tensed, his brother shrugged nonchalantly. “We go to Germany!”

You threw a warning glance at Fred, making him go quiet at the end of the sentence. This had to be handled with care.

“Breaking the school rules?!” George exclaimed even louder and you rolled your eyes.

“What, are you afraid Weasley? After playing pranks and breaking rules since your birth?” Your daring and ironic comment shut up him up. You knew it was a lot to comprehend within only minutes. It had been a few hours since the game, Fred and you had made up the plan in the mean-time.

“What are you doing here?” Hermione and Harry suddenly approached and even though her questions wasn´t directed on the tense atmosphere, she very well took notice of it.

“We´re waiting for my brothers to wake up”, you answered frantic. Harry furrowed his eyebrows; he knew the anticipating thrill of an upcoming adventure.

“Don´t worry, Y/N, I´m sure they´ll be fine. Boys are naturally stupid.”

Harry threw his head into his friends’ directions, making him lose focus on your intentions.

“Hey!”

Hermione rolled her eyes and pushed the book in her hands into Harry´s arms. “Go on and at least make yourself useful.”

She gave you an excusing smile, before turning to leave towards the library. Just before they turned the next corner, you suddenly sprinted towards her again. “Hermione!”

“Fred and George wanted to show me a few places this weekend, so don´t worry, if I´ll be late or anything”, you tried to explain as casual sounding as possible. Her brown eyes wandered back and forth between you and the twins, until she gave up sighing.

“Don´t do anything stupid or get caught.”

As you stepped back to the twins, Madame Pomfrey quitted from the infirmary.

“Oh Miss Silberstein, your brother, August is just awakening!”

Fred eyed you warry from the side. “Do you want us to come with you?”, he asked whispering, but you shook your head. “No, this is family business. Anyways I´m sure they would get angry, if they found out I told you. We don´t have to aggravate something that´s bad enough on it´s own.”

You entered the large room with beds placed into rows. August was laid in the back, while you caught a glance of Hendrik sleeping behind a curtain in the front. The distance between the two beds was awfully noticeable.

August was pale and seemed confused, but as he sat up, he noticed you approaching. His eyes winced, forming even smaller slits and his lips became a thin line.

“Good you´re up, how are you feeling?” The politeness in your voice never felt so fake. But as his sister it was your job to ask about his condition. August saw right through you, not that you gave much of a try to hide it, but he decided to play along. Years of formal etiquette and behavior had shaped you into a concept for society. Perfect and pleasing to the observer.

“Head still hurts as well as my arm, but I´ve had worse.”

Silence settled, while you nodded. Before you could make another polite comment, he spoke up again. “Ask. Ask me. It´s why you´re here.”

It hurt you, that he assumed, that you only came for the sake of information. It made it worse that he was right.

“What did you tell him? What do you know?”

August sighed; the whole scene was as uncomfortable to him as it was to you. But he was aware, that you would believe him. He didn´t show it, but in this very moment, he couldn´t be more grateful. Yes, he showed his cold not-caring exterior, but he relied deeply on you.

“Albrecht, the night before we left, I saw him talking to one of the ostlers. He had mother´s ring.”

Unwanted, a gasp left your lips and you gripped onto the side of the bed. Whatever you had expected, you clearly hadn´t braced yourself well enough.

“August, are you sure, it couldn´t…” He nodded steady, ignoring your stutter.

“I didn´t believe my own eyes at the time.”

“She was wearing the ring when it happened, the ring disappeared with her…”

Your breathing was irregular and the thoughts inside your head were racing at the speed of lightning. If Albrecht had the ring, your mother wore when she had the accident, then he must´ve been with her. He lied, saying he was filling papers the entire day and no one even scrutinized it.

If he was with her, he knew what happened. Maybe he was the reason it happened…

Neither August nor you noticed how Hendrik´s eyes opened and inaudible, he turned his side into your direction. Behind the curtain, you didn´t see him, how he starred at the blank fabric. How his jaw tensed, when he remembered your father with Albrecht at his side, entering the family´s private wing. Tears formed in his eyes just like then, he knew something was wrong by their faces. That day, the world collapsed right beneath his feet and ever since then, he tried his best to put it back together. He wanted it to be over, but everything came rushing back. It felt like the day where your mother died, haunted him and your family. He didn´t wanted to believe what his brother said, but he knew what it meant.

“I didn´t tell you this before, let´s not be stupid”, August finally spoke up. He could only imagine what chaos was still pelting inside your head. The sentence was surprisingly mature for August and his usual temper. “It could be a weird coincidence.”

August was right, it could be. But there was something inside you that told you, it wasn´t.

August was right, you shouldn´t be stupid. But you had a promise to keep your family safe.

So, you nodded slowly.

“We´ll wait, till Hendrik awakes and I send an owl home, making sure he won´t get it. Then we can discuss it. We have to be careful.” You had to play perfectly to make him believe. Each movement you made, each breath you took, it had to look innocently. It had to look real.

“You should rest and try not to kill Hendrik, or get killed, when he awakes.”

August chuckled and you offered a small grin. “I´ll take care of it.”

You stepped away from his bed, giving him a nod, then leaving the room. A small glance towards Hendrik; eyes closed and steady breathing. When he was to wake up, you´d be gone.

Miles away, hopefully as close to Silberstein as you possibly could, before someone would get wind of it.

“So, how does it look?”

“I hope you´re as good in sneaking away, as you are at playing pranks.”

Fred and George exchanged looks.

“We´re going to Silberstein.”

--------

tags: @ britishspidey @ perfectlysane24 @ acoolnight

#fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #fred and goerge weasley #harry potter imagine #mariamermaidimagine

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ddaehyeon · 4 years ago

Text

– ♡; FIRST FALL ; KANG MINHEE

pairing: kang minhee + reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1.5k

summary: the question kept running in your head and maybe, you didn't want an answer. >> star tears au

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this one aaaaa i have a part two idea. if you want a continuation of this one-shot let me know! (´｡･v･｡｀)

do you like minhee?

like a broken record the question kept on spiraling in your head. after it was asked by your best friend, the words became attached to your mind. at some point, it would even make you space out.

a sigh left your lips as you leaned to the railings. located on the fourth floor of the apartment building, your new unit gave a good view of the busy city. during the day, it would give a fair scenery of the people pacing around, most were university students who were to attend their classes. during the night, office workers who had been trampled by exhaustion would be trudging on the sidewalk, wanting nothing but be comforted by their beds or if they have enough energy, drinking would be their go-to.

you retrieved your phone from your pocket, swiping it unlock as soon. minhee should be here by now. in his last text, he said he'd be there in ten minutes.

a few days ago, minhee agreed to go with you to buy some indoor plants. you just moved into a new unit and as per your mother's wish of keeping you former plants, you ended up budgeting this week's allowance to buy yourself another batch of flora companions. there was something in having plants decorating your room. seeing the greens gave a good amount of serenity. something that you needed as a break from all the piling homework assignments your major was throwing you.

"hey, y/n. did i make you wait?" minhee's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, your head turning to him.

straightening your composure, you shook your head. it was a lie. you've been waiting for him... rather impatiently, but you didn't want him to know. at least he was already there. a faint smile came to your brim. "let's go?"

the walk was a silent one. judging from the dark circles that were painted under his eyes, he probably didn't get much sleep last night. his major was as taxing as yours, having to deal with numerous code under the dim lights of his computer screen. there were a lot of things that he had to remember and the midterms examination was just around the corner. minhee was dealing with codes as you were dealing with numeric equations. he could've just told you that he was to rest today, but then again, you can't blame him for wanting a break off the bustling student life. if given the opportunity to, getting outside the dormitory was far better than lying on the bed. a single turn to the side and you'd be seeing your study table where all the school-related works were waiting.

this wasn't so different from your first encounter with minhee. a quiet walk as he carried the rubber plant you purchased. seeing you struggle on the sidewalk, urged him to lend you a hand. minimal words were exchanged. few questions uttered to learn something about the stranger who was walking beside you. he was attending the same university, the only distinction was he was under the department of information technology, while you were in the engineering department.

his own dormitory was farther than yours and sometimes when you were to attend your morning classes, he'd end up bumping to you. the previously solitary walk altered by his presence as he treaded with you. without noticing, it became a routine for the two of you whenever your schedules match.

once again, the question came knocking in your mind, anticipating an answer. however, you denied it, pushing it to the back of your head.

with the bells chiming, the florist welcomed you with a warm greeting. the smile coming from the old lady was vibrant as usual. something that could easily pull the same expression from you.

your feet immediately brought you to the location of the indoor plants.

minhee followed you, eyeing each plant curiously. he lifted a kalanchoe. "this looks pretty. the small blooms would suit your window sill."

humming, you took a mental note of picking that one up. you reached for a peace lily, a beam gracing your lips as you do so.

"you gifted me that plant last year." a soft chuckle was heard from the male as he moved closer to you. standing behind you, his hand was extended to hold the same pot. his fingers brushed by the back of your hand, bringing a pale hue of red to your cheeks.

there was an awareness that coursed throughout your body, resulting in you being conscious of your senses. your ears enclosed by the rapid beating of your heart. cheeks growing hot each passing second. butterflies were in chaos as they flutter in your stomach. his presence alone was taking your breath away.

no, you told yourself. refusing to submit to the query that had been plaguing your mind ever since it was spoken.

"you still remember it, huh?" gaze fixated to the plant both of you were holding, you asked. it was an attempt to distract yourself, to put your mind to another topic.

but his answer immediately pulled you back to your best friend's question. "of course, i still have it by my study table. it's such a nice plant."

yesterday, your best friend joined you in the aimless staring by the balcony. legs propped together as you leaned to the wall. the wooden bench holding the two of you as you silently stared at the night sky. the stars were glimmering above, making you wonder how it was possible to see its light when it was a million miles away from you. the celestial canvas gave way for comfort to wrap around your figure. it was one of the nights where the sky was clear, offering a wonderful view of the black ocean with smothered sparkles.

"hopefully none of us will have those stars slipping out of our eyes," your best friend said.

for a moment, you tore your gaze away from the sky to look at her. "what do you mean?"

"star tears disease," she replied, pausing for a moment. "the result of unrequited affection."

it was a known illness in your place. people day by day were losing their gift to see colors, the saturation decreasing each passing day of their unreciprocated feelings. at extreme, some even see the world pitch black-- all colors snatched from them.

cruel. how come the universe would take away your ability to see the beauty of the world and still leave you with a broken heart?

the serenity that surrounded you shattered by a question that came out of her lips. "do you like minhee?"

four words. four words that were punctuated by a question mark came penetrating past your ears down to your stomach, making it flip in a terrible manner. you never asked yourself such. all you knew was you enjoyed the male's company. you froze in your place, unable to voice out a reply. you were unsure of what to answer.

or perhaps you knew the answer, but you were reluctant to succumb to it.

you declined to fall under its spell that would bring nothing but worry to your veins. as if the question sitting by your brain wasn't enough to intensify such feeling.

"thank you for today, minhee," you said after he placed the last pot on your table. different kinds of flora would be your company tonight.

the male let out of a chuckle. "no problem. it was fun." a beam became visible on his countenance as his gaze landed on your figure.

"you should go and rest now. seems like you didn't get much last night as well." among the group of plants, you lifted a pot of echeveria. you walked toward the male, handing it to him.

"what is this for?" minhee tilted his head to the side, a brow raised. he accepted the plant without much thought anyway.

you hunched your shoulder up. "nothing. a thank you gift, i guess?"

"oh-" nodding his head, the smile he had on his lips became brighter. too much for your liking. if he keeps on having such a vibrant smile, you might end up giving him all the plants you bought. "i'll take care of it then."

few more exchanges and minhee finally bid goodbye, wishing you a pleasant evening. there was a smile that spread on your lips, the answer you've been searching for coming to you in a single hit. its wave strong enough to make your knees grow weak. minhee left the room, the door closed cautiously. it also served as an answer to your unspoken confession.

along with the jingling sound that came to your ears as a soft music, a star cascaded down your cheek.

- - - - - - - - - - ☆ masterlist ☆ request ☆ jungmo star tears ☆

#cravity #minhee #cravity imagines #minhee imagines #cravity scenarios #minhee scenarios #cravity oneshots #minhee oneshots #cravity fluff #minhee fluff #cravity angst #minhee angst #cravity drabbles #minhee drabbles #cravity minhee #kang minhee #star tears au #requests

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anistarrose · 4 years ago

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Summary: Taako unlocks a backstory reveal, Kravitz notices an astronomical discrepancy, and Noelle completes an errand. It’s an evening of relaxation and bonding for some, and a night of furtive preparation for others, but one thing is constant — everyone is missing a few pieces of the story.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides, Garyl

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald

Hey, guess what fic isn’t dead! Before we get into the action, I just want to state for the record that I, Rose, think mullets are generally a valid hairstyle (including on Barry Bluejeans). The opinions on mullets that a certain character expresses in this chapter are in no way representative of my views as the author. Anyways, enjoy the Taakitz before the storm!

(A “previously on,” since it’s been so long since the last chapter: THB all know Barry is the Red Robe, Barry knows THB are in trouble for death crimes, and he’s shared all his relevant backstory details with Noelle, who has agreed to help him save the boys from Kravitz with the endgame goal of stopping the Hunger. Kravitz has arranged a sort-of date with Taako, which he’s obviously excited for, but he doesn’t know a lich and a robot are out to get him. Meanwhile, Garyl doesn’t know why Taako stopped hanging out with liches about twelve years ago, and is really missing the spectral oats said liches always gave him. I think that’s everything everyone knows and doesn’t know!)

***

The Raven Queen had always reminded Kravitz of his mortal mother, not just because of the physical resemblance — which was indeed present, albeit slightly diminished by the beaked mask that concealed the Queen’s nose and eyes — but because of her temperament, kind but stern. She was a fair judge, and even a surprisingly forgiving one at times, but she held no reservations against telling people they could do better, if she believed it to be true.

So when the Queen approached Kravitz during his walk along the coast of the Astral Sea, in her usual form of a dark-skinned woman wearing a magnificent feathered cloak, Kravitz breathed a sigh of relief when he saw she was smiling at him. Her ethereal voice was both diminutive and thunderous at once, but thankfully free of disappointment or malice.

My child.

She unfurled not just one pair of midnight-black wings, but a hundred pairs, and suddenly she embodied an entire flock of ravens, circling Kravitz with impossible synchronicity and silence.

Come fly with me.

Kravitz leapt into the air, changing shape and sprouting wings of his own. In the form of a rook with dark blue-gray feathers and the pattern of an avian skull atop his head in light gray, he took off across the sea, and the Queen followed, casting a hundred identical shadows atop the waves.

This airborne sightseeing tour across the afterlife was not a new ritual for them — they’d done this countless times since the Raven Queen had first taught Kravitz to fly, lifetimes ago — but Kravitz had noticed, over the past century or two, that the Queen almost exclusively reserved these flights for days when Kravitz felt stressed.

They soared through a cloud of souls, which danced and shimmered like snowflakes in a gentle breeze, and as they exited it, he finally spoke. “It’s a pleasure to see you as always, my Queen, but… er, what is it that brings you here today?”

My dear Kravitz, you’re even a bundle of nerves when you’re a bird. You’re not letting those elusive lich bounties get to you, are you?

“I… I suppose I have been letting it get to me. In a way.”

Kravitz, you are competent and you are worthy. You needn’t fear me reprimanding you — I have no doubt that you will capture them eventually. After all, you have a promising new strategy, don’t you?

“My Queen, I…” Kravitz trailed off. The scenery of the Astral Plane changed with every flight, but today he’d stopped taking it in, preoccupied with wracking his brain for the right words. “I appreciate that — but it’s really that ‘new strategy’ you mention that I’ve been worrying about, not the liches themselves. I’ve been talking to Taako, and to a lesser extent Magnus and Merle, and —”

The flock’s flight slowed, and two hundred glassy raven eyes all fixated on Kravitz as he transformed back into a human, hovering in midair and clasping his hands together as he spoke.

“I didn’t believe them at first, but they really don’t remember their crimes against death, I’m sure of it. They’re not dangerous people — dangerous to themselves when they rush into danger, maybe, but not dangerous to the world. They stopped Legion, and their friend Angus has been telling me about all the people they’ve saved from the Grand Relics, and I — I would not feel justified reaping their souls, even if they fail to capture Bluejeans and Lup. There’s just so much we don’t know about how they’ve violated the laws of life and death — it may not have even been intentional on their part. My Queen, I sincerely believe we should grant them the same benefit of the doubt we grant to people roped into necromantic cults against their will — I can vouch for their character, and I know many other souls, both living and dead, who will do the same.”

Kravitz…

The flock was completely frozen in place now, and though he didn’t need to, Kravitz held his breath — a nervous habit from his life that he still hadn’t broken after centuries.

Is this why you’ve been stressed? Because you were anticipating this conversation?

“Partly, my Queen.”

I trust your judgement, Kravitz. I cannot pardon these three bounties altogether, knowing so little about their offenses — but if you deem it fitting, then I will grant them an indefinite respite as we investigate further. In the meantime, what do you propose for the escaped soul Noelle Redcheek and the necromancer Lucas Miller?

“So far, neither of them have done ill with their borrowed time. Noelle never asked to return to the world of the living, and she fought heroically against Legion, while Lucas… well, I spoke to his mother, and she seemed confident that he’d learned his lesson. I think we should allow them to stay in the world of the living until they die, provided they commit no more necromantic offenses.”

Then that shall be our policy moving forwards. Do keep an eye on Lucas, if nothing else, but I reviewed Noelle’s file personally this morning, and she sounds like a pleasant young spirit.

Still hovering in the air, Kravitz executed a bow as he let out his breath. “I appreciate the trust, my Queen.”

I will consult with Istus, to see if she can discern the pasts or destinies of the three… unique bounties. Until then, they are to be presumed innocent.

Kravitz smiled, because it was no secret that the Raven Queen relished every excuse to consult with the Lady of Fate. “I’m sure Lady Istus will be happy to hear from you.”

She will, and I don’t need to be the goddess of fate to know that. The ravens swarmed together, consolidating back into a seven-foot tall woman with dark brown skin, black roses adorning her hair, and sapphire-blue eyes glowing from behind the slits in her mask. She draped a cloaked arm over Kravitz’s shoulder as she continued:

Now, my child, you said something else was bothering you besides the status of your bounties?

“Well, it’s… I just…” Kravitz shook his head. “Let me put it this way: do you ever get nervous before talking to Istus, even though you always like spending time with her and know she feels the same? I guess you probably don’t, because you’re a goddess —”

Oh, I do.

“Oh.”

Do you have a commitment tonight? Let me guess — with Taako?

Kravitz smiled sheepishly. “We… er, I’m not even sure which one of us talked the other into it, but we might have arranged to go to a wine and pottery place on the moon together —”

Of course, the Chug ‘N Squeeze. There’s one in the Celestial Plane as well.

“You’re joking!”

Istus and I have been going there often lately. She loves all arts and crafts, after all.

Kravitz sighed. “Well, I had been wondering where all the clay ravens in my office were coming from.”

Do you like them, my child?

“Oh, they’re wonderful. The real office corvids like to perch on them, I guess to assert their dominance?”

The so-often stoic Queen laughed in a voice that could’ve belonged to a human, despite the cacophony of caws that swept across the Astral Plane in place of an echo. Kravitz, I’m sure your date will be divine. You have my blessing.

“It is helpful, not having to worry about arresting Taako in less than two months,” Kravitz admitted. “Thank you, my Queen.”

One last thing, my child — I’d like you to prioritize hunting down those problem liches, unless anything else comes up. I can’t shake the suspicion that they’re connected to your former bounties’ cases — or should I say for Taako, your potential future boyfriend’s case?

Kravitz spent a few seconds of increasingly awkward silence thinking about that second sentence, but ultimately decided that he didn’t want to challenge it. “Taako and his friends are doing important work of their own at the Bureau of Balance, and I don’t want to drag them away from that any more than I already have — but I’ll ask them to keep me updated if they find any new leads, and I’m quite sure they will. Bluejeans seems drawn to them, and to the Grand Relics, like a moth to a flame.”

So I suspected, the Raven Queen replied. It seems Istus and I have much to discuss.

***

With a dramatic flourish of his scythe, Kravitz stepped out of the rift and into Taako’s kitchen. Taako was leaning against the counter waiting for him, chin in his hands and a smug, catlike grin on his face.

“Sooo, notice anything different about me?”

“Not sure. New hat?” Kravitz replied, feigning confusion. “Just kidding! The new haircut looks great.”

“Finally, someone realizes! Lumberjack Ruffboi and the lunar youth pastor didn’t say a thing about it.” Running his fingers through the considerably shorter hair in question, Taako snorted — apparently in response to the nicknames of his own invention — and Kravitz chuckled along with him.

“Don’t get me wrong, you wear the shorter hair well, but why cut it now?” he asked Taako. “It wasn’t that long —”

“Not that long? It was turning into a mullet, Krav, and that’s fuckin’ unacceptable. Can you imagine us walking into a five-star, metropolitan establishment like the Chug ‘N Squeeze together, you absolutely killing it — pun totally intended — in your feathered cloak and designer suit, only for me to saunter in behind you, sporting an honest-to-Raven Queen mullet? Who do you take me for, Barold J. fucking Bluejeans?”

“Of course!” Kravitz sarcastically conceded, laughing. “Clearly, I was running the risk of mistaking you —” He gestured to Taako, brown-skinned and freckled with distinctly pointed ears, “for my old undead archnemesis Barry —”

He stopped talking as Taako dove to catch his Umbra Staff, which had rolled off the kitchen table seemingly all on its own.

“Hey, what gives?” Taako demanded of the umbrella. “I thought we were cool again after the other night — you got something against me trash-talking mullets, or what?”

The Umbra Staff didn’t reply, and Kravitz rubbed his neck. “Er… you talk to your umbrella often?”

Taako shrugged. “Yeah, and I talk to my wizard hat and my favorite fantasy electric mixer too, sometimes. S’no biggie.”

“Sometimes people in the Material Plane give me strange looks for talking to corvids, so I guess I can’t judge,” Kravitz admitted. “But speaking of talking to birds, I have good news!”

Taako slung his Umbra Staff over his shoulder. “Oh, bird news? That’s my favorite kinda news!”

“I spoke to the Raven Queen this morning, and… well, you’re not entirely out of trouble, but you don’t have to worry about that two month time limit anymore! The Queen decided that since no one knows exactly what your crimes were, we can’t judge you for them fairly, so you and the boys are safe at least until someone cracks that mystery — potentially safe forever, if the truth comes out and the Queen finds it sympathetic. Noelle and Lucas have also been granted amnesty, so don’t worry about them either.”

“Huh.” Taako rubbed his head, blinking slowly a few times. “So… we’re calling it quits on the lich hunts ‘til further notice?”

“More or less, but I’ve got a hunch you’ll run into Barry again whether you’re looking for him or not,” Kravitz answered. “So if or when that happens, I’d love a tip off.”

“Gotcha.” Taako nodded slowly. “Well, at least this’ll be good for Angus. Little half-pint can finally chill out instead of worrying about me all day.”

“Absolutely. See, when I went to beseech the Raven Queen, a big part of my argument was that reaping these doofuses’ souls would make an over-stressed ten-year old very sad,” Kravitz joked, deadpan. “So she really had no choice but to give you a respite — wait. What do you mean, at least?”

“Oh, you know.” Taako shrugged, averting his eyes. “It’s just the end of a short-lived bounty hunting era for ‘cha boy. It was dangerous work, but hey, my whole job is dangerous, right? Solving a lich mystery was a nice break from the routine —”

Then he sighed. “Oh, what happened to me? What happened to Taako’s good out here? I’m not into peril! I shouldn’t be missing it no matter how much…” He met Kravitz’s gaze again, smiling sheepishly this time. “No matter how much I’m gonna miss you, when you’re busy hunting ghosts and I’m busy hunting Grand Relics again.”

“Ah.” Kravitz felt his face grow warm — which should be a rare for a reaper without blood or a heartbeat, but seemed to be happening an awful lot around Taako lately. “Well, if it’s any consolation, the Raven Queen’s pretty generous with vacation days — after all, how do you think I made time for our date tonight?”

Taako’s eyes lit up. “Oh, we’re officially calling it a date? I mean, I knew the subtext was there, but why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

Kravitz clapped a hand to his mouth, several seconds too late. “That was — oh, gods. That honestly wasn’t — that truly wasn’t intentional, but if you want it to be a date? I would love to call it one.”

“Okay, okay, I got a related idea for you —” Taako leaned in a little closer, and for the first time, Kravitz noticed the flecks of gold and burgundy in his dark brown eyes. “How about we just stop making idiots of ourselves and kiss already?”

Then Taako leaned back and facepalmed. “Damn, I shoulda said ‘stop making idiots of ourselves and make out already!’ That works so much better than —”

Kravitz kissed him on the cheek — just a quick peck, made brief not by a lack of interest in kissing Taako, but by Kravitz’s reluctance to tear his eyes away from Taako’s own for any longer than a few seconds. Taako kissed him back, running his hand down the back of Kravitz’s neck —

Then he withdrew with a jolt. “Aw, we’re about to be late to pottery, aren’t we? I even made reservations —”

“Not while you’re dating me, you’re not!” Kravitz exclaimed, drawing his scythe and slicing open a rift that led directly to the Chug ‘N Squeeze. He grabbed Taako by the hand, and the two of them laughed as they tumbled through the portal, scaring the wits out of the host but earning a cheer from Killian and Carey. Magnus — who was contentedly third-wheeling behind the couple, in his weirdly wholesome Magnus way — raised an eyebrow at first, but then gave a friendly wave and returned to the misshapen cup he was molding.

“Today,” the instructor coughed, clutching his chest, “we’ll be walking through how to make plates. Please, for the love of all the gods in the universe, do not make clay interplanar portals, because we’ve already had more than enough of that.”

“What fun!” Taako exclaimed he settled into his seat, then whispered under his breath to Kravitz: “I dunno what I’m making, but it’s not gonna be a plate. Real art is born when you start out with no plan, and go wherever the moment takes you.”

“Honestly? You do you, but I can’t really relate. Like, maybe it’s because music is the only type of art I normally pursue — but I’d rather have sheet music in front of me as a jumping off point, even if I’m planning to improvise, you know?”

“You were a bard? I shoulda known.” Taako tried to shape his clay into something that could pass for a plate or platter at a glance, yet remain legally distinct. The instructor gave him a suspicious look, but quickly moved on to reprimand Magnus for attempting to recreate his wineglass. “Love you for that, and you know you’ll have to show off your kickass music skills for me one day, but how does a bard wind up working for the death goddess?”

“Interesting story, that,” Kravitz admitted. “You want the long version, or the short version?”

“I dunno, maybe a brief novella?”

“Okay. Yeah, I can work with novella length.” Kravitz leaned back in his chair, removing a few clumps of clay from under his nails. “At the beginning of the end of my lifetime, give-or-take eight hundred and twenty years ago, my sibling and I were travelling a dangerous road, and we got in over our heads. We were passing through an abandoned cemetery, and… it’s hard to forget how we were just joking about how ominous it was…”

He got a distant look in his eyes. “But the second we started to laugh, a gang of bandits jumped out from behind the graves to ambush us. Now, I was a damn good bard and my sibling was a damn good artificer, but we were unprepared for combat — and, worse outnumbered five to two. We pruned their ranks to four, then three, when the first two ruffians tried to charge us, but the other three had both range and cover, and they rained arrows on us from both sides of the road. My sibling took a hit that left them in critical condition, so… I did the only thing a protective older brother could do, upon finding oneself and their injured loved one assailed in a cemetery. It was a split-second, desperate decision, but… I played a song to raise the dead.”

“You did a death crime,” was what Taako said out loud, but what he thought was I’d do the same thing. Which was strange, not just because he couldn’t play any instruments, but because he definitely didn’t have a sibling whose peril would prompt such an arcane outburst from him.

He would’ve liked to have someone like that, though. Someone to unconditionally watch his back on those tough journeys, someone who’d raise the dead for him, someone —

Someone to tell him to quit psychoanalyzing himself on date night, come on, Taako, you’re giving yourself a headache.

“As rash as it was, I’d do it all over again if I had to,” Kravitz confessed, apparently too focused on the story to notice what must’ve been visible confusion on Taako’s face. “Though maybe don’t tell the Raven Queen I said that, because it was… quite the crime.”

Absentmindedly, he picked up a few extra clumps of clay and began to roll them into a thin cylinder between his palms. “The graveyard the bandits had chosen was a good place to ambush travellers, but the perfect place to be ambushed by the undead. The zombies I raised were individually weak, but there must’ve been close to two dozen of them, and they surrounded the ruffians that had surrounded us. While they bought us time, I poured all the power I had left into healing my sibling from the brink of death — and it was all worth it, because they got away safe…”

“But you didn’t,” Taako murmured.

“No,” Kravitz confirmed. “But don’t look so glum. The ending of the story’s not all sad.”

He placed the clay cylinder on his plate-in-progress, flattening it slightly as he affixed it to the rest of his project, then set to work shaping another clump into something quite different. “When I died, I was almost immediately met by the Raven Queen’s reaper at the time. She was… not exactly thrilled that I’d summoned a minor undead army — an undead militia, she called it — but my zombies and the bandits had more or less mutually destroyed each other, while she saw I was a first-time offender who’d only acted in self-defense, and wasn’t putting up a fight as I was escorted away from the world of the living. She told me she would be keeping an eye on me for the first few years of my afterlife, just to make sure I hadn’t developed a taste for necromancy and decided to hatch an escape plan from the Astral Plane, and then escorted me to a a pleasant little island in the Astral Sea.”

Kravitz added the final piece of clay to his creation, and Taako realized he’d formed a raised scythe pattern at the plate’s center. “Hopefully this sticks when it goes into the kiln. Anyway, I spent about the next five years on that island, but the reaper brought me plenty of instruments to play and books to read upon my request, so it was hardly a punishment. I was surprised, though, the day she showed up and said that the Raven Queen had requested my presence.”

“Aha. Now here’s the start of your career, right?”

“Exactly. When she offered me an apprenticeship as the next reaper-in-training, I was initially… apprehensive, to say the least, but I eventually accepted the offer, and… well, you know perfectly where the story goes from here. I was a better fit for the job than I could’ve ever expected, and… there were some nice perks, too.” He smiled. “For one thing, I got to spend a few months with my sibling and parents after each of them passed away.”

“I’m glad that worked out for you,” Taako said, with a sincerity he rarely used in combination with those particular words. For the first time since Kravitz had started talking, he took a good look at his own clay, which looked like… a misshapen lump, or maybe an especially boring rock. He probably could’ve paid more attention to what he was doing, but at least he hadn’t gone and subconsciously made a plate.

“But you know,” he went on, stroking his chin, “I’m intrigued by this implication that by peacefully turning myself in for death crimes, I could get nominated for a reaper job…”

Kravitz laughed. “Oh, I wouldn’t recommend that loophole. Maybe if the Queen hadn’t approved your respite, I would suggest it as a last resort —”

“What’s wrong, afraid of me stealing your job?”

“No — I’ve been a reaper for eight centuries, but the one who trained me only retired about four hundred and fifty years ago. Two to four reapers serving concurrently isn’t uncommon. The problem is, the Queen usually chooses reapers who have some prior knowledge of necromancy — without having used it for evil or anything, of course — and unlike most of my bounties, Taako, you don’t seem to be a necromancer? I mean, I’m sure you could learn, because you’re clearly a skilled wizard, but I wouldn’t encourage it. You’re just starting to get out of trouble as is.”

“If you insist,” Taako said with an exaggerated sigh. “So the Raven Queen’s ideal recruits would be, what, a couple of lich superheroes who swore to only use their dark powers for good?”

“In an ideal world, yes — but certainly not in the universe we live in, because those kind of liches don’t exist on any plane I’ve visited. Like I said, I’ve been doing this centuries, and even the rare times I’ve seen liches start out with good intentions, they can’t hold it together once they actually become undead. I guess Barry has debatably held it together, at least compared to the baseline for liches, but gods know what his intentions are, so I don’t plan on offering him a job any time soon.”

Taako took a sip of his wine. “You could still set him up for an interview sometime, just to see,” he suggested, completely deadpan. “Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

***

The view of the night sky was gorgeous from the moonbase, perhaps even on par with the blue-tinged literal heavens of the Astral Plane — but there was also something off about the view tonight, something Kravitz couldn’t quite place.

“What an atmosphere, am I right?” Taako sat down on a bench, still cradling Kravitz’s plate gingerly in his arms. “Who needs telescopes when you can stargaze from the moon?”

“If we ever have another artistic date, we should come out here earlier and try and paint this,” Kravitz agreed aloud. Internally, he was only growing more puzzled as he ran through a laundry list of variables.

The moonbase’s artificial lights had long since dimmed for the evening. They were miles above any other sources of the light pollution that plagued the modern world. The sky was cloudless from horizon to horizon, and the real moon was barely a crescent, hardly a bright enough beacon to drown out the lights of any stars.

So why did the sky look emptier than Kravitz remembered it ever looking in his lifetime, as if an invisible black backdrop at the edge of the Material Plane had slowly inched closer, smothering the most distant stars one by one and dimming the night by a barely-perceptible degree? Was his memory all wrong, or had something subtle yet cosmically pivotal changed?

“One of our artistic dates has got to be something musical,” Taako went on, apparently either unconcerned by the state of the sky or oblivious to it. “You keep up with modern music at all?”

“Mmm, on and off. Not so much recently, but I went to a lot of concerts last century.” Kravitz noticed Taako shivering slightly as a stiff breeze blew past, and draped his raven-feather cloak over Taako’s shoulder.

“Hey, thanks. Will RQ hand these cloaks out to any old Joe, or do you have to be a reaper to wear one?”

“You have to be a reaper to receive one —” Kravitz winked. “— but I have an extra I could loan you, if you promise you won’t wear it next time you commit a death crime.”

“It’ll get me more use than the Cloak of the Manta Ray, that’s for sure,” Taako snorted.

He pecked Kravitz on the lips, and Kravitz kissed back before the two of them both looked back up to the sky again, hand in hand this time.

“This is a very weird question,” Kravitz began, “but do you know how often visible stars go out? It can’t be very often, can it?”

Taako frowned. “Depends. You mean, like, as supernovas, or in the more anticlimactic ways?”

“Either, really. I just… I kind of thought there would be more stars visible from here than you can see from the surface, but the sky looks a little emptier than I remember from stargazing when I was alive.”

“That is weird,” Taako agreed, “‘cause stars all die eventually, and get reborn from the dust left behind — but they burn for millions or billions of years first. A few centuries is just chump change to stars; there’s no way it should make that much of a difference —”

“Okay, that’s what I thought,” Kravitz said. “Maybe my memory’s just cloudy…”

“Hmm. I guess that’s one explanation.” Taako rubbed his chin, then leaned back to rest his head on Kravitz��s shoulder as he squinted at the galaxies overhead. “Hmmm.” His murmur turned to a hum, his breath pleasantly warm on Kravitz’s neck.

“I’m sure you’ve studied more astronomy than I have, so I’ll leave this mystery to you,” Kravitz told him. “I prefer my mysteries down to earth, or maybe in the Underworld —”

“Me? Astronomy? Studying?” Taako laughed, and Kravitz felt him shiver. “You’re giving me too much credit. I just…”

He paused. “Just kinda picked up the basics in my free time, I guess.”

“Your free time where, at wizard school?” Kravitz teased.

“Nope! Taako’s Amazing Self-Taught Wizard Homeschool for life, baby. I just read about astronomy… here and there, I guess. Probs a library, not that it really matters…” Frowning, Taako rubbed his head, and Kravitz saw his hand come away damp with sweat.

“Speaking of libraries, we should visit one together sometime,” Kravitz pivoted, and was relieved to see Taako smile again, sitting up a little taller. “I love catching up on science that was contentious in my lifetime, like germ theory, or what will happen when the sun goes out —”

“Oh, that’s an easy one for us nowadays. We’ve got a few billion years before it turns into a white dwarf and eventually goes nova — not supernova, mind you, but still pretty nova. You won’t wanna be around for it.”

“I’ll try and retire from immortality before then,” Kravitz chuckled. “I’m sure my work would be cut out for me reaping —”

An electric buzz infiltrated the back of his mind, and he tapped two fingers to his temple, adjusting the celestial signal. “I’m so sorry. Hang on a second.”

“Business call?” Taako asked dejectedly.

“Yeah. Necromancers wait for no stargazing date nights.” Kravitz relayed a silent message of confirmation back to the Raven Queen, and lowered his fingers, cutting off the connection. “Alright, the Rockport Fantasy Costco got caught selling necrotic artifacts — again — but it’s not that urgent. Any other couples’ activities you want to squeeze into, let’s see, the next five minutes?”

Taako shook his head. “Nah, better to save all the good stuff for next time than to rush it. But speaking of that — when should next time be?”

“I have no idea when I’ll be free, honestly —” Kravitz admitted, “— but I just remembered! You’re not a wanted man anymore, so I can give you my Stone frequency!”

“Aw, hell yeah!” Taako rummaged through pockets full of pudding and magical trinkets, eventually procuring his own Stone of Farspeech. “Here, plug in your contact info and I’ll text you back —”

“Oh, gods, I was just going to read you my number! Your way is so much more efficient —”

“Hey, Old Man Krav, don’t be too hard on yourself! Most people your age wouldn’t even know what a Stone of Farspeech is —”

Caught up in parting banter, neither Kravitz nor Taako noticed when directly overhead, another star vanished without fanfare as the encroaching void swallowed it whole…

But miles below, at a furtive meeting in the foothills of an ill-charted mountain range, two undead spirits were all too aware.

***

Barry supposed it was obvious that he was nervous. In lieu of a racing heartbeat, the scarlet threads of his robe were repeatedly unravelling, then weaving themselves back together in a slightly different pattern each time — though he supposed he should count his blessings, since at least Noelle looked a lot less horrified than she honestly had the right to be.

“I think I got everything,” she told him, completely unfazed as he snatched the sack of components from her with a shaking, blurry hand. He really hadn’t meant to snatch it, like a feral cat snatching food from a human hand it didn’t yet trust. It had just sort of happened that way.

“Thank you,” was what he meant to tell her, but the sound that came out was indistinguishable from nails on a chalkboard, and he tried again. “Thank you, Noelle.”

The second time, it was more of a rasp — a lot like the voice he’d put on to talk to Taako, Merle, and Magnus in Goldcliff, except not at all intentional this time — but at least it was recognizably his, and for that, he was willing to settle.

“Mister Bluejeans, are you… okay?” Noelle asked him — and there it was, the question he’d been waiting for. “You’re surrounded by an awful lot of crimson lightning.”

“I’ve dealt with worse. I’ll live,” he told her. “Well, no, bad word choice — I’ll survive. Liches like me just… don’t handle negative emotions well, but better I express it than repress it. Besides, I’ve gotten through worse before.”

It must’ve helped, talking to someone who reacted to his eldritch nervous tics with concern rather than horror — because the rasp in his voice started to subside, and his hands looked almost human again, albeit incorporeal, as he sorted through the bag of components Noelle had delivered:

Iron filings by the pound. A few jade crystals, imperfect yet sufficient for their purposes. An arcane core, currently deactivated, yet surrounded by a humming magical aura made from practically the same stuff as Barry’s own current form.

And last but not least, several handfuls of black opals — an unpleasant reminder of the Hunger’s approach, of the stars blinking out and the color being sapped from the world. Their shifting pattern iridescence was so familiar that Barry could easily imagine pure white eyes opening on the surface of the gems, even though he knew he was safe, that these stones were nowhere near perfect circles.

“These will work,” he reported. “Really, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Oh, come on. It’s the least I could do,” Noelle told him. “Did you finish the cannon upgrade?”

“Sure did.” Barry returned her cannon arm to her, and she reattached it gingerly, humming with satisfaction as she tested moving it around. “Had to override a couple of Lucas’s anti-modding measures, and it’s gonna be a hassle to recharge, but it’s all set up to deal radiant damage now. Just please don’t test it in here, ‘cause my poor subterranean lair may not survive.”

Noelle laughed. “Gotcha. Once I get some practice shots in, I’ll be ready to set the trap. You feeling up to it?”

“I still don’t feel ready,” Barry admitted, “but it’s not like I’ve got any other options, besides sitting here and worrying more. I just… I just have to take it one step at a time.”

He placed the opals back in the bag, along with the other components and a wand he’d made specifically for writing runes. Out of sight and out of mind, if only for a brief respite.

Tomorrow, I’m saving my family from the Grim Reaper, he resolved. Then, I can worry about saving the planar system.

***

End notes:

Taako is actually wrong about what will happen to this planet’s sun in billions of years — white dwarfs only go nova if they’re located in binary or otherwise multiple star systems, like a certain two-sunned planet had ;) There’s also a couple references to the Grand Relics in this chapter that I like to think are clever, let me know if you caught them!

(Also, describing the Taakitz kiss as “a peck on the cheek” was a certified 100 percent intentional bird pun — shoutout to this fic’s awesome beta Fex for encouraging me to take that joke and run with it completely seriously!)

#taz #taz balance #taakitz #kravitz taz #taako taaco #the raven queen #barry bluejeans #no-3113 #taz balance spoilers #fic: ftrala #rosalia writes fic

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enigma-im · 5 years ago

Text

Jail Bird Heart

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Elf X Female!Human Warning: Strong language, Elf/human relationship, Penetration, Extreme fluff, Comfort sex, Conjugal visit, Male POV, Prison

Word Count:4346

After an abusive relationship, Marley is ready to try again. but this time its with a criminal and its a conjugal visit. Alt is ready to try his best, despite the less than desired circumstances, to give Marley what she deserves.

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I pace the room impatiently. My heart is ready to beat out of my chest. My thoughts not wanting to rest, my legs a little wobbly. I can’t believe this is going to happen. I never thought Marley would ever agree to something like this. I thought for sure she would laugh in my face. Figuring at the time it was a terrible thing to blurt out. She was opening up to me and I immediately think of sex like some cum brain.

I hear a knock at the door, I stop mid-step. I snap my head to the side barely breathing. The door swings open and a guard walks in. my shoulders drop and I resume pacing.

“What, not who you were excited to see,” he laughs. I simply glare over my shoulder at him. Not in the mood for his pestering today. Any other time it would be welcome, but now isn’t the time.

“What do you want,” I snap. I walk back and forth from each wall in the already small room. I look over to the bed as I circle back around for the hundredth time. I can’t help but wish the circumstances looked a little better.

“I’m just making sure you have everything. Condoms, lube, Viagra, you know the whole works,” the guard grins. I try to pay him no mind. “What, don’t think you will need those things? Confident aren’t we,” he continues to poke fun.

“I’m too tense for this right now, I ask from the bottom of my heart for you to fuck off,” I sneer. He holds up his hands in surrender.

“Alright, I just thought you would like to know she is outside,” he nods to the closed door. I stop pacing and snap my head to him then the door.

“What,” I shout. He laughs at my nervous face.

“Want me to let her in,” he raises an eyebrow.

“Of course jackass, and promptly leaves while you’re at it,” I walk over to the door but stop. Should I let her in? or should I be sitting on the bed, maybe that a little too forward? I can stand at the door and greet her. Ugh, I’m overthinking this. Maybe this is a mistake.

As I’m lost in thought I don’t notice the guard opens the door. Letting Marley in as he leaves, whispering something as he closes the door. When I look at Marley my tension leaves. My chest swells and the doubts dissipate. This is right, anything with her could never be wrong.

“Hi,” I smile.

“Hi,” she nervously smiles back. She fiddles with the strap of her purse as she bites her lip. I don’t notice when I step forward, before I know it I’m grabbing her arms. I pull her close and resting my forehead on hers.

“Hi,” I kiss her nose. She blushes, fighting back a smile.

“You already said that,” she closes her eyes.

“yea, I guess I did,” my smile widens. It feels so good to have her in my arms. Feels like walking home after a long terrible day.

She takes a step back out of my hold. But I keep my hands on her arms. Not letting her get too far.

“W-hat- what do we do now,” she asks. Her cheeks are all red and her fingers still fidget with her strap. Her tension relaxes mine. I can be her rock.

I grab her purse and remove it from her shoulder. I toss it over a table behind her then look back down at her. Losing something to fiddle with she grabs my shirt. She clutches the fabric in a nervous grip. I can’t help but watch. She pinches and smooths the cloth with her fingers.

I reach down and cup her hands against my stomach. Her fingers stop moving. Using my other hand I cup her jaw. She looks up at me with those wide vulnerable eyes. I can’t wait, I lean down and capture her lips. Pressing firm but let her guide the rest. She surprises me by kissing back, molding her lips with mine in a tentative dance. I take a step closer, crowding her as we kiss.

I slide my hand to the back of her neck and tilt her head. With the new angle, I suck on her lip, licking and nibbling. She whimpers and smooths her hands up my torso. I drop my hand down to her hip and tug her bottom closer to mine.

She shutters and breaks the kiss. Her lips are slightly parted and her eyes still closed. I brush my nose against hers, my lids hooded.

“hi,” she whispers. Her lips quirking slightly as her eyes open. She leans back a bit and looks up at me. I feel completely bare to her gaze.

“I think we already said that,” I mumble with a grin.

“Yea, I guess we did,” she chuckles. She looks down at my lips, “You are a good kisser.” I can’t help but chortle. It is so innocent.

“I’m a good lover too,” I try to introduce the topic. She grips my shirt.

“Is that so,” she hesitates. Her nervousness swells around her, her smile fades.

“shall I show you,” I kiss her cheek, “Or we can just make out some more.” I leave the choice for her. Even though she agreed to this I won’t hold her to her word. This is for her anyway. I’m just here to show her care and tenderness. Something her ex never gave her.

“I’m- I’m nervous,” she admits. Her eyes flicker between mine. Almost daring me to yell, get mad at her fear.

“I am too,” I admit. Her eyes widen, she is shocked.

“Why,” she asks. Her confusion is adorable.

“I’m worried ill disappoint you,” I answer honestly. She is still shocked. Her eyes drop to my lips, my body tilts towards her.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” she huffs. Slowly she leans in and takes a kiss. My eyes flutter close as she leads. It’s slow and timid like we didn’t already do this. I pet her hip with my thumb. Stretching my other arm around her, grabbing her shoulder. I pull her close. Our chest pressed together, her knees brushing against mine. She surprises me by licking my top lip. I open immediately, nearly losing my balance as her tongue touches mine. She swirls around my mouth, exploring every inch. I stroke hers with my own, swapping spit.

She retreats and pulls back. A string of spit connects our lips, breaking when I catch it with my tongue.

“You are a good kisser too,” I whisper. She huffs then chuckles.

“Thank you Alt,” she smiles brightly. It’s contagious, I smile just as loud.

“Would you like to sit down,” I ask, gesturing to the bed. She turns and looks at it. Seeming transfixed by the object. After a second I grab her chin and turn her back to face me. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

She looks down and headbutts my sternum, “I want to. I want to with you. Only you.” I choke on my breath and my heart stutters. This woman is going to kill me.

Giving her a second I pet her hair. Noticing its slightly damp. Did she shower before this? I like the idea that she got all pampered up for me.

Marley takes a step back, still holding my shirt. Not looking up she turns and drags me along towards the bed. She sits down quickly and pulls me forward. I fall onto my side, fixing myself to sit up. She doesn’t look at me, more interested in playing with my shirt.

“Marley,” I grab her hand. Stopping her fingers from twiddling the cloth more. Keeping her head down she looks up at me through her lashes. The sight makes my heart skip and my cock twitch. I hardly notice the half-hard staff in my pants. Which generally presents itself when Marley is around.

“What do you want,” I lean closer. Making her view only me. She looks between my eyes, biting her lip as she gains the courage to ask. I know she wants something. Whether its sex or something else, I don’t know.

She tugs at my shirt,“ I want this off.”

I nod then grab the neck of my t-shirt. Her hand drops to my knee as I pull my clothes off. I wrap the shirt up and rest it on my thigh. I notice she is staring at my lap, not at my newly nude chest. I almost feel insecure until I notice the dusting of pink on her cheeks.

“Feeling flushed,” I poke fun. Her face gets darker. She grabs my shirt from my lap and hides her face in it. I feel a strange sense of manly pride while watching her.

I give her a second to collect herself. Holding back a chuckle when she peeks at me from over the shirt. Still hiding most of her face she looks from my face to my chest.

I’m not insecure about my looks, I’ve always been fine with them. I’m not strong but I’m not unfit. I have a broad chest and some girth to my arms. My stomach has some softness to it, use to have a small pudge. Now it’s hardly noticeable. Hard to put on weight when the food you eat hardly counts as food.

“good,” she mumbles into my shirt. I barely hear her but I just catch it. She hides her face again and makes an adorable little sound. Almost like a squeak but longer. Perhaps a squeal.

“doing alright, doll,” I ask, “If you act this way with just my shirt off id love to see how you react to others things discarded.” her toes curl beside the bed and she presses the shirt closer to her face. I laugh at her giddiness. I reach over and pull her hands away from her face. Lowering the shirt as I get sight of her smile. She doesn’t look at me but at my torso. I can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside. She is too precious for this world.

“can I,” she looks up at me then back down at my chest.

“Can you what,” I grin. She bunches her fingers into the shirt before lifting her hand. She raises it and reaches for me. She stops short, looking at me for permission. I grab her hand and rest it over my heart. I let go and watch.

Her fingers splay and feel my heartbeat. “It’s fast,” she murmurs.

“That’s because of you,” I mumble back. She smiles to herself as her hand runs over the contours of my pecs. Then lowers to my stomach. Groping my ribs then my waist. My breathing gets heavy at such a simple touch. It’s so gentle and vulnerable, just like her. She glides over my belly button and stops at my pants. Looking down at the noticeable tent.

“That because of me,” she looks up at me. Her eyes are wide and curious.

“of course,” I answer, “ would you… like to see?” her eyebrows raise and she startles away. I scold myself. She surprises me by resting her hand on my knee. Flicking her thumb against her other fingers. She looks from me to my pants, biting her lip in thought. I want to reach out and pet that lip. I think better of it.

“Your pants,” she tugs on my slacks, “Off?” she looks up at me. I find myself blushing for once.

“Uh, ok,” I hook my thumbs into the waistband. I lean back on my elbows and tug them over my boxers and down to my knees. I sit back up and pry them off the bottom of my legs. Kicking the clothing off when it bunches at my feet. I let them fall to the floor then look over at Marley. She is staring very intently at the now very noticeable tent. Perhaps sneaking a peak between the buttons near the crotch.

I let her take a moment. I’m feeling a bit insecure. I’m open to her scrutiny and her not speaking is making it worse. I suck my lip between my teeth and clench my fist near my thighs.

“Please say something,” I plead. She startles at my voice, being ripped from her thoughts.

“Sorry, it’s just,” she stares again,“ you look big.” I bark out a laugh. I was not expecting that answer.

“Well thank you,” I chuckle,“ what would you like to do now?”

“I-I’m not sure,” she folds into herself. I reach out and grab her hands, resting them on my knee.

“Shall I make some suggestions,” I ask. She nods, “You can touch me, or I can touch you. We can make out some more and see where that goes. I won’t lie, I really want to see what’s under those clothes. But if you aren’t comfortable yet ill sit here naked for as long as it takes.” she huffs with a smile.

“I’m comfortable, but I’m nervous. But it’s not a bad nervous, just unfamiliar,” she winces,“ that doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it’s ok. I understand,” I pet her hand with my thumb,“ now what do you want to do?”

She thinks for a moment,“ I want to kiss you.” I lean down taking her lips. I let go of her hands and cup her face. Setting the pace for us, slow. I take in the texture of her lips, the taste of her skin. Licking her lip I twitch in my boxers as her tongue touches mine. She grows confident, guiding me into her mouth. Sucking on my tongue, making my eyes roll into the back of my head. She groans I feel the vibration in my hands. Feel her in my mouth.

I slowly lean into her, forcing her back onto the bed. Her actions stutter, hesitant as I adjust myself above her. As my legs trap hers between mine she stiffens. She grabs my arms and pulls away. I look down at her and she looks scared. Without much thought, I grab her hips and fall sideways. Pulling her above me so she is forced to straddle my thighs. Her hands catch herself on my chest

“Better,” I pet around her waist and up her back. She steadies herself from the sudden position change. Once she does she looks down at me nods. A smile easing onto her face. I find that one graces my face too.

Marley leans back down and claims my lips. Petting her hands up my chest to my neck. Then cupping my jaw as she introduces her tongue back into my mouth. I pet up her back before thinking better. I need to be bold, take a little charge despite our position. I slide my hands down and cup her ass. Groaning as she fills my palms. She stutters in the kiss but gets into it. She backs herself into my hands, moaning into my mouth.

“God,” I grit between her lips. I grind her into my crotch, her heat petting along my cock. Her breath stutters while she parts from me. Her lips barely touching mine, slightly open and eyes closed. She hesitantly rubbing herself against my dick. I sigh, clenching my eyes a bit tighter.

I startle when she kisses my neck. Timidly peppering kisses and licks below my jaw. My chest heaves, the strong intimate nature almost too much. She kisses up to my ear, nibbling on my lobe.

“Shit,” I grind her into me again. I do so again when she sighs in my ear. I need more.

Pulling her back I look up at her, then looking down at her shirt. “Will you remove your shirt?” when she doesn’t answer I look up at her. With a smile, she leans back and peels her shirt off. I relish every bit of newly revealed skin. A little too excited for when her bra shows. I feel like a teenager again, seeing my first naked girl.

Once she discards her shirt to the floor I look up at her,“ You are beautiful.” she grins before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

“Would you like to do the honors,” she asks. Before I could ask she grabs my hands and guides them up to her back. I trace my fingers up her spine then she stops at her bra strap. I nearly giggle like an idiot. She makes me feel like an untried teen. It feels like the first time.

I open my mouth to ask but I think better. I’m worried if I talk then ill lose this chance. I unclip her bra, letting gravity let it fall. I slide my fingertips over her shoulder blades to her straps. Gently pushing them off. The bra falls to her elbows, revealing her breast. I suck in a breath. Fuck, she is damn sexy.

Without preamble, I reach up and grab her. Filling both my hands with her chest. She sucks in a startled gasp. My cold hands a hard contrast to her warm tits. I grope and massage her. Feeling the soft yielding flesh under my palms. I adjust my hold and rub her nipple with my thumb. Feeling the pebbled nub against the pad. I take in her gasp, nearly bucking my hips when she grinds into me.

“You are going to kill me,” I gasp. I sit up and wrap my arms around her shoulders. I lean down and take her nipple into my mouth. Rolling my tongue over her, sucking as she gasps and grinds.

“I think you are going to kill me instead,” she moans. I grin, rubbing her back as I enjoy myself. I can’t remember the last time I took a woman into my mouth. I don’t bother even trying to, only Marley invades my thoughts. I move to her other nipple, giving the same attention. She pets down my hair before grabbing the back of my neck. Mashing my face into her. I groan, letting go of her as I sigh. I nuzzle into her breast, rubbing my nose along her sternum.

“Please,” I groan, bucking my hips,“ will you let me?” she hums in question. I pull back and see her eyes closed. She looks happy, my heart jumps. I’m making her feel that.

After a second she opens her eyes. Her pupils blown out and a lazy smile on her face. She pets my cheek as I take every detail. I have to be inside her, this is killing me.

“Marley,” I lean forward. I reach forward to kiss her but think better. I need to get her pants off. “Can I, please, let me,” I plead. She doesn’t answer but leans back. Resting her hands behind herself. Arching her chest in a way that makes her look like a painting. A very erotic painting.

“Go ahead,” she mumbles. I immediately grab her jeans and pull them down. Not bothering to second guess her choice. I watch as more of her skin is revealed. Sliding her clothes down over her knees. Lifting each leg I pry the fabric off. Throwing it to the floor then looking at her apex.

Her cunt is trimmed, and dark. I reach out and pet over her hips. Tracing the outline of hair down between her cleft. Before I could explore her slick wonder she leans up. She looks down between us, her cheeks getting red from looking at herself. I trail my hands up to her back. Petting just above her hip.

“Your-,” she sighs,“ your boxers.” I look at her confused before it clicks. God, I hardly noticed I haven’t taken them off. I reach down one-handed and damn near rip them off my body. I awkwardly pull them down my legs. Not missing the whimper she lets out when my cock twitches near my stomach. I toss the clothing to the floor with the others.

I look down between us, my dick sitting between our bodies. I look up at her,“ you sure?” looking at me she bites her lip and nods. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding and slide her back. Angling my cock to her core I slide her forward. My tip enters and I lose my self-control for a second. Feeling like my brain went static. I reign myself in and push on. She gasps, her breast pushing against my chest. I slide further in, stopping once I’m flush against her ass.

“Fuck,” I groan as I drop my head to her shoulder,“ God, tell me when.” I don’t want to move immediately, wanting her to get used to my length first. I’m not sure if she needs to but I let her take the lead. She rests her knees beside my legs. I buck when I sink in a little more. She leans against my head, her mouth next to my ear. She lifts herself and falls back onto my lap. We both groan. The divine feeling of her walls gliding over my cock made my brain flatline.

She bounces a few times, letting my dick spear her in shallow thrusts. I meet her descent with a weak nudge. I grope her ass, guiding her falls. Not being able to think of much for a good moment with her cunt engulfing me. Her sighs and groans make it worse. There is so much I want to do but I can’t think.

“Alt,” she whimpers in my ear. The sound jumpstarts my body. I kiss on her shoulder, sucking the skin. Nibbling her as she takes me. She moans when I give a particularly rough thrust up. Her legs shake and her strength weakens.

I grab ahold of her hips and lift her, dropping her after. I repeat and help her ride me. Her legs curl out from under her, the next drop taking me deeper. She wraps her legs around my waist, her feet resting against the bed. I lean her back a bit so I can thrust up into her. Being able to pick up some speed.

The new angle has us both groaning and whimpering. Her noises playing beside my ear has me nearly overcome. I reach down between us and run my fingers through her trimmed hair. She jolts at the sensation. I guide a finger between her lips and find her clit. Massaging the swollen piece with force. I need her to finish before me. It’s a little selfish, I need to feel her squeeze around me. Hear her moans as she comes undone.

I get what I wish. Her head drops back on her shoulders. Her cries get louder, moans getting longer. I lean back and watch her face as she comes undone from my hand and cock. I can’t stop the shit-eating grin as her eyes roll back.

“Come for me, Marley,” I whisper,“ come on my cock.” she bites her lip and clenches her eyes shut. I feel her walls flutter before clamping tight around me. I choke on a gasp, losing my breath as I’m squeezed. Her cries stop immediately, her nails biting into my shoulders. Her heart beating strongly against my chest. I soon follow, feeling my balls tighten. I thrust wildly into her as the pleasure nearly blinds me.

I fill her, loading her with my cum. I fall forward, resulting in us both laying against the bed. I rest my head on the bed near her head. Trying impossibly to catch my breath. Stilling inside her as any movement is too much now. I barely notice her petting my head, or the kiss to my temple.

“Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. I can’t answer, I just nod.

Once I come back to myself I pull out. Rolling onto my back beside her. Breathing heavily still and in pure contentment. I glance over to her and see she is already looking at me. Looking as I feel.

“How was it,” I ask. I need to know I’m not missing something. Projecting my own feelings onto her face.

“very good,” she kisses my shoulder. I smile sweetly at her. I reach out and pull her close. Settling her into the crook of my arm. She rests her hand on my chest and cuddles close.

I sit happily, completely at home here. I find my eyes closing as weariness takes over. I try to fight it but I’m too comfortable. Barely noticing her breathing leveling out to a shallow take. Squinting I look down at her and see she is asleep.

There is a knock at the door. I look over and see the guard poke his head in. I twist Marley’s shoulder towards me to block her naked torso. Using my feet to kick the ruffled blanket around her legs. I pull it up over her bottom as I keep looking at the guard.

“You two good,” he whispers,“ you have 30 mins left.”

“We good, please leave,” I glare at him,“ she is resting.”

The guard glances down at her,“ -Atta boy,” he grins at me. I roll my eyes and motion to the door. He chuckles then leaves out the door, closing it behind himself. I could kill him, why would he walk in here?

I look back down at Marley. My heart thumping loudly at her peaceful face. Her lips are slightly parted and eyes closed. Her breath brushes over my chest.

“I will cherish this moment forever,” I kiss her forehead. I fall back against the bed and close my eyes. Getting some rest before we have to dress and part ways. I know when it happens it’s going to rip at my heart but I refuse to think about it now. I just enjoy her safe in my arms. Pleased with what we did. I sigh one more time in content. Soon I drift to sleep.

————————————————————————————— I love this one because Alt is becoming a top character of mine. i wrote an entire long story about him getting into jail and meeting Marley. im never going to finish it cause its so long but ive written tons of scenes with the two. I loved their first time together and both being so awkward but open to the experience. ugh, i love Alt. i might post another scene of theirs cause its so cute. check out my archive

#Elf #Elf boyfriend #monster boyfriend #Prision #exophilia #fluff #Enigma-IM #smut

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cuddlepilefics · 4 years ago

Text

15. Snowflakes

Fandom: Monsta X

Sickie: Changkyun

Caregiver: Kihyun

Sequel to Winter Concert

Noone’s POV.:

Hyunwoo had seen this coming when Kihyun fell asleep in Changkyun’s arms about a week ago. The vocalist had gotten his voice back a few days prior and was just getting over his cold. Mostly it was just the cough lingering along a slight general fatigue, while the rest of his symptoms had disappeared. Being on their Christmas break, the members wanted to make most of their free time and often spent their days away from the dorm, doing the things they were usually to busy for. That’s why at the moment only Hyunwoo, Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun were at the dorm. Hyunwoo had originally planned to take both of the maknaes on a nature hike in the snow but one look at the youngest told him that this was not about to happen. When the youngest emerged from his bedroom, the were dark circles under his eyes and his voice cracked as he greeted his hyungs.

The leader immediately walked up to Changkyun, putting a hand on his forehead. “Yup, you’re sick now too. No hike today”, the oldest stated. Jooheon frowned as he studied his only dongsaeng whose eyes lacked their usual spark. He had been looking forward to spending some quality time with his friends. “Aish, Kyunnie. I’m so sorry for getting you sick”, Kihyun pouted, still sounding a bit raspy. “Hyungs, I’m ok really. I don’t even feel bad. Kihyun-hyung I don’t blame you, I was the one who cuddled you”, the maknae chuckled. Sure, he wasn’t feeling his best and certainly wasn’t up for a hike but he just felt a little under the weather, nothing serious. “Yeah, but I made you cuddle me”, the vocalist whined, voice cracking at the end. Changkyun decided not to argue any further, his voice was simply to sore for that. While he forced down his breakfast, he listened to his hyungs as they discussed what to do today, now that their plans didn’t work out. Kihyun would have stayed home to rest anyways. “Guys, you know that the two of you can still go. I’ll just stay back with Kihyun-hyung. He was still doing performances when he started to fall ill, I’ll be fine just staying back and resting a bit. You don’t have to miss out on the fun, I’m not dying or anything”, he tried to convince them. Part of him was amused at their overprotectiveness, while the other hated that his hyungs had to worry about him.

Changkyun didn’t like bothering people with his problems, so he strongly disliked the idea of holding his friends back from their long-awaited trip. He knew that the other rapper was in need of some nature time to sooth his anxiety and he didn’t want to trap his best friend in their small dorm. Hyunwoo gave him a very long look, studying the youngest’s face and coming to the conclusion that it’d be safe to leave the maknae with Kihyun. Though the vocalist was still not fully over his own sickness, he guessed the two sickies were fine taking care of their selves and each other. “Kihyun-ah, do you think the two of you would manage without us?”, he wanted to confirm with the vocalist, him too being aware that Jooheon could do with some outdoor time. “Sure, hyung. Changkyun and I will just watch TV and drink some tea, not even noticing that you’re gone. Sounds alright with you, Kyunnie”, he assured the leader, to which Changkyun quickly nodded his head.

They finished their meal before two of the idols dressed in thick clothes, preparing to spend the rest of the day out in the snow. When saying their goodbyes to the two sickies they’d be leaving behind, the maknae could only hardly resist hugging his best friend but not wanting to get the other rapper sick too, he settled for a wide smile, begging him to take lots of pictures to show him where they were when they get back home. Jooheon promised without hesitation and waved his goodbye before leaving with Hyunwoo. As soon as the door shut, Kihyun started apologizing again. He had a very motherly character and felt guilty for getting his youngest baby sick because he was egoistic enough to beg for cuddles. The vocalist was quickly cut off, as Changkyun assured him that it was no big deal. He could handle a cold besides he would have someone to cuddle without fearing to spread his illness because Kihyun was sick with the same thing. The two of them weren’t even feeling too bad right now. They were a bit fatigued with sore throats but as long as they kept the talking to a minimum or use their phones to text each other what they wanted to say, they’d be fine.

Not being sleepy enough to go back to bed, Kihyun prepared a large pot of tea while Changkyun collected a few fluffy blankets. The two idols got comfortable huddled together on the couch. They used the time to catch up on some kdramas they liked to watch but often were to busy to. A few episodes in, Chankyun started to get a bit restless. He was coughing more frequently now, squirming because he was too achy to find a comfortable position. Kihyun ran a soothing hand through his hair before feeling his forehead. “Kyunnie, your fever’s gone up quite a bit”, he murmured, examining the maknae’s face. His brows were drawn together, indicating a headache, while there was a slightly pink blush on his cheeks. The youngest just hummed hoarsely. He wouldn’t have needed his hyung to tell him that. He had already guessed it, since he had started feeling progressively worse. By now, his nose was stuffy too and he just felt sick in general. “You know, we have cold medicine, I’ll fetch you some, if you want”, the vocalist continued. To his surprise his dongsaeng nodded. Kihyun was used to the younger always downplaying his struggles so for him to agree he needed medicine that easily was a huge warning-bell.

The older quickly made his way to the bathroom, taking out two different bottles of cold medicine. He looked at them blearily, questioning what the difference was before pouring some into a measuring cup and walking back to the living room. Changkyun gladly accepted the medicine, taking a few sips of tea to wash away the bitter taste. Kihyun was proud, most of the other members tended to make a fuss over having to take something but the maknae always listened to his hyungs well and if Kihyun told him to take it because it’d make him feel better, he’d trust his hyung. They continued watching their drama and the vocalist was satisfied that the medicine was working. His donsaeng had stopped squirming and looked peaceful. His worry skyrocketed though when the rapper spoke up. “Hyung, why ‘s my brain feel so mushy”, the maknae slurred, blinking up at the older disorientated. “Wait what? How do you mean that, Kyun-ah”, Kihyun asked, trying to stay calm. “’s mushy, can’t think”, Changkyun yawned. “Hey stay awake. Can you tell me how you feel?”, the vocalist urged, nudging his barely conscious dongsaeng to prevent him from falling asleep. “Floaty”, the maknae hummed with closed eyes. Kihyun suppressed a curse, nudging the younger again: “Kyunnie, do me a favor and just stay awake a bit longer. I’ll be right back”, he promised, hurrying to the bathroom. He was freaking out at the younger’s odd behavior.

Taking out the medicine he had chosen earlier, he read the label and compared it to the other bottle. Struggling with his own tired haze, he had accidentally given the maknae night-time cold medicine. Kihyun’s heartrate slowed a bit, as he had originally feared he had given the other a too high dose. Luckily, this wasn’t the case, the medicine was just supposed to help you sleep, so it was natural for the younger to get drowsy. Rushing back to the living room, the vocalist hoped Changkyun was still awake, feeling guilty for mixing up the medicine bottles. The younger had sounded a bit scared earlier, not understanding what was happening to him. Kihyun knelt next to the couch, stroking his dongsaeng’s hair back. “You still awake, Kyunnie?”, he whispered, earning a sleepy hum. “Sweetie, hyung is so sorry. I gave you night-time cold medicine. Don’t worry, it’s not dangerous, it’ll just make you feel a bit drowsy. Aish, I’m really sorry, Kyunnie”, he explained sadly as he continued to stroke the other’s hair. “More like, really drowsy…. ‘s ok, hyung. ‘m no’ mad. Jus’ guess ‘s naptime now”, Changkyun slurred, seeming totally out of it. Kihyun still couldn’t help the guilty knot in his stomach even though his dongsaeng had forgiven him. He took a seat on the couch again, allowing the younger to curl up on his lap. “Go to sleep, sweetie. It’s ok”, he hushed, using his finger to draw little snowflakes on the younger’s arm through the hoodie he was wearing, successfully lulling him to sleep.

#sick #sickfic #monstax #monsta x #fluff #comfort #christmas #im changkyun #yoo kihyun #cold #fanfic

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make-it-mavis · 4 years ago

Text

Homesick (Entry #31)

(cw: drugs, themes of death/overdose) ----------

01/19/88 1:34 PM

Hey.

So. I know it’s been a little while.

Writing the last entry was just… a lot. It gave me more to think about than I anticipated. I’m… still kind of sorting out those thoughts. But ‘writing to you’ has become such an outlet now that I was starting to get antsy by putting it off.

So the story continues.

Terror came over me when the darkness fell. At least for a little while. You can hardly blame me, though, given what I’d just seen. Your face was broken, and then we blew up, and then you were gone, and I was lost in nothingness. It was just a punch in the face with a fist made of horrible, terrible things.

But luckily enough, awareness soon returned to me, and I remembered that I was high, and none of it was real. And I was just high enough, thankfully, that I could not quite process the gravity of what I'd seen in the memory yet. That would come. But for the time being, I was blissfully unaware. I was almost peaceful, under the impression that all there was left to do was ride out the last of the numbness. I felt myself lie down against some kind of surface in the darkness, and for some time, I seemed to hover just above sleep.

Then I started to see things.

Against the black, I saw buzzing lines of binary start to glaze the ghostly contours of a group of figures a short distance away. Then, as if the world were loading, the shapes took on vague, pixely color. The darkness cut out as the environment formed, looking like no more than a smeared painting. It was then that I noticed one figure had no binary at all, but just crackled a bright, humming blue that solidified into… Surge.

That flipped a switch in my brain that set the image straight. I was in a game's cord station, presumably lying down on one of the couches. Surge was there, and he was talking to Fix-it, who was very animated and distressed in whatever he was saying. Believe it or not, he had a few Nicelanders with him -- I think Mary was there, but I'm not sure about the others. I was too distracted by Wreck-it standing apprehensively behind the group, anxiously staring at me.

That's when the audio 'loaded', although a bit distorted, and I heard Surge speaking.

"--incredibly lucky no one was in that bathroom. If things went differently, there could've been loss of life, potentially loss of game. I can't risk a repeat incident where we're not so lucky."

"Yes," Fix-it insisted desperately, "yes, I know, but this isn't her, this was never her. Please, try to understand, it's not her, it's the buffs. It's all been the buffs. She didn't mean it. She didn't even know. I've seen it. She's not even aware of what she's doing. She's not malicious. She's scared, and she's in pain."

"Yes, Felix, but even so--"

"Root Beer Tapper means so much to her, you know that. She would never knowingly hurt that game. Never. She's going to be so horrified when she hears what happened."

I had no idea what they were talking about, but the more they went on, the more I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. It sounded like I'd blacked out and done something horrible. I wanted to be mad at Fix-it for making me sound so pathetic, but deep down, part of me knew he was right.

I was sort of scared to know just what I'd done… especially if it had been in Tapper's. But I could not lie there listening anymore.

"Hey," I called, my voice raspy, "I'm awake. You can quit talkin' about me like I'm not here."

They didn't respond. Not even a little bit. They just kept talking.

"I know," Surge said, tiredly lifting a hand in an attempt to calm Fix-it. "But that just makes it all the worse. If she's out of control, attacking games that she supposedly loves, then she's totally unpredictable. I can't very well call myself a protector of this place if I let someone like that run around free."

"But you can't lock her up!" Fix-it nearly shouted, his voice breaking. "You don't understand -- she needs freedom! If you cage her up, you'll break her! You’ll kill her!"

"And if she goes free, she could kill someone else!"

My heart nearly stopped. Surge was going to lock me up in my game for good. That would be it for me. Fix-it was right -- it would be a death sentence. Even if I couldn't actually die in my game, I'd die a different way. It would be worse than dying. Worse than corrupting.

"Hey," I called again, "hey, hold up just a minute! Don't I get any say in this?"

No one noticed me.

"But she's not dangerous!" Fix-it insisted. "She's not! She has an addiction! She's sick! She needs help, not punishment!"

“Then what would you suggest we do?” Surge sighed, almost sounding irritated.

“Well--” Fix-it stammered, “I-- I… think…”

“Hey!” I shouted, but no one reacted. I tried to get up, but I felt paralyzed, like a weight was pinning me down against the couch. Just as I started to panic, the scene around me froze, and with a blue flash, it cut into darkness like a screen turning off. I felt static crackling over the surface of my body. All was dark, deathly quiet, and freezing cold, save for my heart burning and pounding.

But after a few minutes, just like that, the cord station appeared around me again. Only, this time, there was only Fix-it. He had dragged one of the other couches over to sit directly across from me. He looked absolutely exhausted and miserable, hugging himself as he watched me.

I figured that I must have lost time again. How much time, I had no way of knowing.

“Fix-it,” I said uncertainly. “Fix-it, what’s happening? Am I gonna be locked up?”

He did not respond. He just continued staring, looking too depressed to keep his eyes open. He must have been there a while.

“What did I do?” I asked. “Did I hurt anybody? Is Tapper okay?”

No reaction.

“Can you even hear me?”

No reaction.

My stomach twisted a bit. I may not have been locked up yet, but I was trapped anyway, in my own body. I knew it was the GC screwing with me. But still, I didn’t know what was happening to me. I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t hallucinating, as far as I could tell. I was just… stuck.

I blacked out a few more times, just short, minute-long windows between reality and darkness. In each moment of consciousness, I saw Fix-it in a different position on the couch across from me. He was usually watching me. Sometimes, he was asleep. A couple times, he was reading. In a longer stretch of consciousness, Mary actually appeared from the cord train with a mug of coffee for the barely-awake Good Guy. He startled, but smiled and took it anyway. It must have been just about time for the arcade to open, and still, he was there, watching me. Even Mary took pause to look, her eyes moving up and down my body. There was even a sort of dreariness in her gaze.

Reality cut out again. For a little while this time. But when it formed again, I nearly yelled.

It was Tapper. He left his game to come see me -- the man barely leaves his game. Not to mention, I had apparently done something awful in his bar. But he stood there next to the other couch, those huge blue eyes drooping in… what I read as disappointment, for the most part. But there was still a heavy sadness in there, and worry, if the mug in his hands had any indication. He was cleaning a mug that was already clean, which I’m pretty sure is an anxious habit for him. I wished I could have told him I was gonna be fine, but at that point, even I was starting to get nervous.

Even weirder than Tapper’s presence was the guy behind him. Mario. Yeah. Now that I’m fully conscious, it makes more sense that he was there. The guy always wants to know what’s going on, all the time. You’d think he wanted to be a Surge Protector.

Besides that, I guess we’d played around together enough for him to have an interest in my, uh, ultimate well-being. He's a pretty fun guy, even with his heroic heart. He's surprisingly agile and acrobatic for his stocky frame, I'll give him that. But we’ve never been friends. I hadn’t seen him since he sat for the portrait I drew of him. I guess it was technically nice of him to visit, but if he had really cared all that much, he could have tried to help me at any point through my spiral. But, no, it seemed he only cared just enough to feel an obligation to visit me while I was deathly ill. Bastard.

Anyway, he was watching me with his moustache pulled into a frown, and his eyes seemed to say that it was all an awful shame.

“Take your pity and get outta here,” I told him, even though I knew he couldn’t hear.

It was then that Tapper took a couple steps towards me, but Mario touched his shoulder and pulled him back a bit. He gestured to the floor, and I noticed that a line had been drawn in a semi-circle a little ways out from me.

“Code-bleeding hazard,” Mario told him in that distinct accent of his. “Could kill both of you.”

“Ah,” Tapper sighed, frustrated in the saddest way. He paused for a moment, looking at me with contemplative, pained eyes, and then he looked at the mug in his hands. Carefully, he placed it on the floor just outside of the hazard line, and with a gentle nudge of his foot, he sent it sliding over to me.

It was a really nice gesture. But I didn’t want it. It freaked me out. It made me realize he thought he was never gonna see me again, but that couldn’t be true. I couldn’t let it. Nothing can kill me.

Still, Tapper started to turn away, shaking his head sadly and touching his forehead. Mario pat him on the back as he turned to leave as well, but he paused for a moment while Tapper carried on. He gave me one last, long look, before reaching up into his hat and pulling out one golden coin that audibly shimmered, the way they do. He tossed it over, and it landed right in the mug like a carnival game.

I didn’t want that either. But that was just out of spite.

I lost time again.

When I came to, I saw nobody. The arcade must have been open. What I did see on the ground next to me was that others seemed to have had the same idea as Tapper and Mario. Someone had been bringing me gifts (more than likely just Fix-it). My guitar was there. There were knick-knacks, the sort that I’d been notorious for stealing. It all just freaked me out more. But the worst was the flowers, as if they had been laid on my grave. They were already beginning to wilt, making me wonder just how long I had really been lying there.

I lost time.

I would have jumped if I could have moved my body at all. When I regained consciousness, Surge was standing close to me, within the hazard zone. But I guess it would have been perfectly safe for him, since he has no code.

He was gingerly stepping over the gifts, gently pushing them back with his foot as he walked around me. It took me a moment to see what he was doing, and when I did, I still didn’t fully understand it. He had some kind of device in his hand with a few metal prongs, and at first I thought he was gonna mercy kill me with a taser. But all he did was slowly walk back and forth, pointing this thing over the length of my body. It beeped and clicked erratically, which was not a good thing, apparently. When he was done, he stopped and looked closer at the device, and shook his head with a tired sigh.

I know now that it was a code stability reader. I was not lookin’ pretty.

I lost time again.

This time, when I came to, I groaned out loud. Well. ‘Out loud.’

For some Dev-damned reason, Gene was there. And only Gene. He sat on the couch opposite from me, still, somehow, holding a martini and swirling it idly. There was almost a solemnity to his face, but for the most part, he just looked disapproving. As ever. I figured that he just came to frown at me, and I was kind of right. He certainly didn’t bring me a gift, which is kind of a shame, because I would have loved to mash it into his face after I recovered.

“Get outta here, Cashmere,” I said. “Go watch someone you like die.”

It took a few minutes for him to say anything. When he did, he humphed in that snooty way.

“Well, well,” he said, his nasally voice low for once. “Who could have predicted this?”

“Go clip yourself,” I grumbled, wanting nothing more than to go for his throat.

He continued, “You’ve only yourself to blame for this, you know. Fraternizing with that barbaric racer…” he took a sip, and I wished it was poisoned. “Should have known he would break your heart eventually. I don’t believe a creature like that is capable of real love.”

“That’s rich,” I snapped.

Obviously unable to hear me, he carried on, “But, still, it is a shame. You’d have been an asset to the game if you had just kept in line and done your job. Not every game gets such an interesting Easter Egg dynamic. And Felix… Well, Felix will hardly be the same after this, I suspect. He really does love you, despite it all. But now you’ve gone and paid it forward, and broken his heart. If only you’d listened to him. Maybe he could have actually fixed you.”

Being so painfully angry and unable to move was torture. But, still, it was Gene. It’s hard to be sincerely hurt and offended by the words of a sprite you don’t respect in the slightest. He’s never not a slime ball. He’s just so unspeakably annoying, like a mosquito that only drinks martinis.

After another short sip, he said, “If you care to know, I’ll be there for him through his mourning process. But I won’t be getting teary over you. I just had to come see you for myself, to see if this really is the end. And I got my answer.”

He hopped from the couch and straightened his cardigan. “And with that, I bid you goodbye, Make-it Mavis.”

I glared daggers as he turned away. “As if you’d be so lucky.”

I lost time once again.

This time around, the first thing I sensed was the sound of the creaky cord train. I looked, and I could see Wreck-it prying his massive body out of the seat. Slowly, carefully, he walked over to the couch across from me, making sure not to step on any of the gifts with his meaty feet. When he sat, I noticed that he himself was awkwardly holding something to his chest. He looked down at all the gifts uncertainly.

“Uh… geez,” he whispered, before placing his gift outside the circle. It was a little stack of bricks. Maybe that was weird, but what the hell else did he have to give? He must have known that, too, but apparently he just really, really wanted to give me something. As gently as he could, he nudged the bricks into the circle with his toes, but he still managed to knock over a little vase of flowers that spilled a small puddle of dirty water and dead plants. “Gah-- darn it--!”

Unable to do anything for the flowers, he just scooted back properly into the couch and leaned his elbows on his knees, slowly and anxiously twisting his giant hands as he looked at me intently. I was sort of surprised to see him, and wondered what he could possibly have to say. After all, we did not exactly leave off on a good note. He sort of sounded like he hated my guts the last time we spoke. He even tried to hit me. I tried to hit him. It was a hideous scene.

I said wearily, “Hi.”

Wreck-it obviously did not answer. Not for a while. But eventually, he averted his gaze from me awkwardly, and looked everywhere I wasn’t. When he spoke, his voice was very slow, clumsy, and… miserable.

“...H-hey, Ma-- Mavis. Uh… I don’t… really know where to start. I’m no good at this stuff. I mean, I don’t think I am. I’ve never had to-- uh… Nothing like this… has ever happened. Not to anyone I know. But, uh… I need-- need to say some stuff… to you. I was hopin’ to just put it off ‘til you got better, but then everyone started talkin’ like, well--” he paused to look at me with a grave expression, the sort I’d never seen on him before. He looked me over, his face pinched as if it hurt just to look.

“Well… we’re all still rootin’ for ya and everything, but… man… lookin’ at you right now, I… I mean, I can see right through you. I-- I don’t wanna believe it, but… realistically, I think… if I got somethin’ to say to you, I better say it now. Even if you, uh… can’t hear it. Maybe you can. I dunno…”

So, I was translucent. Teetering on the edge of corruption. That was great to hear.

“Spit it out, man,” I grumbled uselessly.

Wreck-it took another minute to stare at his folded hands and collect his thoughts. His gaze remained on them when he finally spoke up again.

“Mavis… about… the, uh, other day… I’m--... I’m sorry. For a lot of stuff. Uh… first, I guess I’m sorry for dragging you out here before you were ready. I don’t think I, uh… quite got how bad things were. And, I mean, yeah, you could’ve told me more about your situation, but… maybe you shouldn’t have had to. Maybe if I’d let you go out on your own time, what Tapper said wouldn’t have made you so upset, and then you wouldn’t have wanted to--... Maybe. I guess the maybes don’t matter anymore. Point is, I’m sorry I didn’t just mind my business. I was wrong.”

We were both quiet. I never really expected him to blame himself for anything. I didn’t exactly blame him, either. He shouldn’t have done what he did. But I would have spiraled either way, I think. He just sped up the process.

“And…” he continued softly, “listen… you… were right. Kind of. Sometimes, it does help to go to Tapper’s. To drink. ‘Cause, uh… all that stuff you said about… being lonely… feeling trapped… like you want impossible things… I, uh… I do get that way… sometimes. And it is easier to just try to forget about it. But, I mean, like I said… it only bothers me sometimes. But from the way you made it sound… I think… Do you really feel that way all the time?”

I’m not sure if I would have had an answer, even if he could have heard me.

“‘Cause, man… if I really did feel that way all the time,” he muttered, “I think--... I think I’d be even worse off than you. I can’t believe you still smile and laugh and play games through all of that. Well-- I mean… you did. Before all this. But… listen, I don’t blame you for-- for taking buffs anymore. I’m… sorry. I’m sorry for freaking out. You might be a slimy lil’ goblin, but you don’t deserve… this.”

That was nice of him… I think. I don’t know. I wanted to reject the pity, but it was getting harder and harder to deny what a massive downer my whole situation was. And, like, I don’t just mean my spiral. I mean my life. The way things have played out. But, the thing is, I sort of felt less pathetic about it. Especially after what Wreck-it said, honestly. Like anyone else in my situation would have crumbled already. I thought I already believed that. But hearing it from someone else really put it into perspective.

Maybe I wasn’t pathetic for struggling, for crying, for trying to escape it all. Maybe anyone would have done what I did. I just never want to do what anyone would have done. I want to be exceptional. I want to be the strongest sprite in the arcade.

Honestly? When it comes down to it, I’m pretty sure that I am.

After all, despite everything… I wasn’t dead yet.

Wreck-it spoke again after a while, his voice more fragile and quiet than I’d ever heard it.

“Don’t die, Mavis. Hang in there just a little bit longer. I know you can make it.”

I knew it, too.

I said firmly, “I always make it.”

Wreck-it screamed, and I jumped. I jumped! My body was back online. I was finally coming around!

And I scared the absolute crit outta Wreck-it! Bonus points!

He leapt to his feet, knocking over more flowers, but he didn’t care. He just stared at me like his eyes were going to pop out of his skull, and his body shook with adrenaline that didn’t know what it wanted. He kept looking like he was gonna run, but he couldn’t take his eyes off me.

“MAVIS!” he shouted, his voice high and broken. “MAVIS! HOLY CRIT, YOU’RE AWAKE!”

“No kidding,” I said, suddenly realizing how rough my voice was, how dry my throat was. How dry my eyes were. I wondered if I had been blinking at all.

“Oh, oh, oh,” Wreck-it shook, fumbling with his own thoughts. “I gotta-- I gotta tell somebody-- I--”

He whirled around and immediately tripped over the couch with a loud oof, knocking it completely over. I snickered dryly as he pushed to his feet again. Before he moved any further, he pointed to me and said, “Don’t move. Don’t-- gahh!” And like that, he made a lumbering run for Game Central, frantically calling for Surge.

Right around then was when I started getting crazy sharp pins and needles… everywhere. My whole body really was waking up, and it did not feel good. My head started throbbing. The sound of my blood whooshing nearly drowned everything else out.

With an electric crackle, Surge appeared in front of me, and this time, I did yelp a bit, mostly for the freedom of it. He looked frazzled, confused, and, frankly, amazed. Even though he practically teleported, he looked winded, as if he ran over.

Adjusting his glasses, he huffed, “Mavis?!”

“No,” I said flatly, “Pac-man.”

“Good grief, I thought you were a goner,” he said as he started pulling more tools off his belt than I remember ever seeing. Behind him, I saw Wreck-it finally catch up, but he made a dive for the cord train instead, struggling to set himself right-side up as it rolled off into the tunnel.

“Love the vote of confidence,” I told Surge. Suddenly, I felt a bit lighter, like that weight holding me down had lifted. And it had, quite literally. I managed to look back over my shoulder and see that there had been a very heavy blanket over my back. I asked what it was for, and Surge said it was to help keep pressure on my pixels and discourage them from separating. Should’ve figured. Pretty neat.

Once I tried moving, I discovered that even without the blanket, I was extremely weak. To my dismay, Surge had to help me roll onto my back. He told me not to sit up, but I insisted on trying. So I pushed up with his help, and got some intense headrush that made my vision blue and cloudy. I wanted to put my feet on the floor, but Surge was adamant that I make it as easy as possible to lie back down. So I just leaned sideways into the back of the couch, way too winded for having just sat up.

I took a look at my body while Surge took a reading of my code stability again. It was pretty eerie. My pixels still had a ghostly blue twinge to them, and if I squinted, I could see right through them. I might have been awake, but I was still in rough shape. It sure confused the hell out of Surge. He took multiple readings and kept smacking the side of his device.

“What’s the deal?” I asked.

“Mmm,” he grunted incredulously. “By all logic, you should not be moving and talking right now. It’s good that you are, of course, but it doesn’t make a lick of sense. Your code is still too unstable for any of that.”

That sort of made me smile. I could have said a cheesy line about being used to instability, but I saved it. I was a bluish, slightly translucent miracle already.

Surge started doing some more examinations. He took my pulse, which was low. He shined a light in my eyes, and wanted to do the same for my mouth, but I bit his finger. He wasn’t thrilled with that, but said that it was a good sign for my reflexes. Then he started poking and prodding me everywhere, asking if I could feel it or if it hurt at all. I hated it. A lot. But as I told him, I could barely feel it. I was still fizzling with pins and needles.

Around then was when I heard the cord train creaking in the tunnel, and I immediately knew what was coming. Before the train was even visible, Fix-it leapt out onto the platform and saw me.

“MAVY!!”

“‘Eyyy,” I nodded.

“MAVY, OH MAVY!!” he bound over, but Surge warned him to stay out of the hazard zone until he was done with his examination. Fix-it barely seemed to care. He could not contain himself. His eyes were already watering as he kept squealing, “YOU’RE AWAKE!! OH, THANK THE DEVS, YOU’RE ALIVE!!”

I laughed triumphantly. “YEAH,” I declared, “SUCK IT, GENE!”

“YEAH, GENE!” Fix-it yelled, and I’m not sure if he was just too overjoyed to object, or if he, too, enjoyed my triumph over Gene’s belief that I was going to die. Probably a combination.

Once Surge was done poking and prodding, he figured it was safe for me to very carefully start moving, and helped me stretch as gently as possible to give my muscles a fighting chance. I’d been motionless long enough that they’d almost stopped working. I eventually got to my feet, but had to rely heavily on Surge’s support as we went back into my game where I could more comfortably and privately recuperate.

Fix-it asked a whole slew of questions, both to me and to Surge. I hardly had any answers, which seemed fair for someone right out of a coma. Honestly, I had way more questions of my own, but I didn’t want to ask in front of Surge. The dramatic irony here, of course, being that Surge was the one with the answers I needed.

Certainly not the ones I wanted, though.

#fanfiction #fanfic #wreck it ralph #fix it felix #make it mavis #original character #homesick

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