#and anyway if you try it on this post or in my inbox I won't be engaging I'll just be blocking

[cosmicjoke]

Keep wasting your breath, you dumb anon fucks. Nobody's reading it. Nobody cares. Your opinions are as meaningless as your existence, and your obsession with me is pathological. Check yourself in to a clinic, please, and get professional help.

[chow0w]

I would love to see darkstalker in your style :00 your redesigns are so neat

Never in my life did I think I would redesign Darkstalker and Hatsune Miku in the same weekend, but here we are.

@oli-bird , @natureforlife and a few anons also asked for this redesign. Sorry anons, I would tag you if I could.

In spite of how often (very often) I make fun of Darkstalker on this channel, I don't actually hold some insane grudge against him at all. I harbor a lot of resentment towards how the fandom tends to treat him, But I think Darkstalker himself is probably the best written villain in WoF. (It's either him or Queen Scarlet, but there's a few reasons I won't get into as to why I think comparing them is unfair.)

Onto the art! Redesigning Darkstalker was one of the more challenging things I've done on this blog, mostly because I already really like his canon design and I feel like there are a lot of good takes out there too. Nonetheless, I make my attempt. The red/blue contrast from his cover art is definitely what I like the most about his general design, and I wanted to try and emulate this as best as possible - especially because I often see him redesigned on a solid red or blue background (which is fine, but inconvenient because it kind of pitfalls Darkstalker into a world where he only looks good in red lighting.) Anyways, I took the red/blue pallet from his cover art and slapped it right onto his scales. Problem solved!

As for the patterns themselves, I was going for a stained-glass type of look: even though religion isn't particularly relevant in Darkstalker's story, I still think it's interesting to try and illustrate how he views himself as superior/almost 'godly' in comparison to other characters. I wanted to carry that theme onto his wings, but ended up deciding with a simpler starry pattern because the design was already super detailed. Everything else kind of speaks for itself... his ribs are more pronounced because of his time under the mountain, and he has longer claws/spikes as a result of the icewing genes. Don't ask me where those white icewing spikes went.... I think they grew legs and walked away... (Real talk, I've just always preferred blue hybrid darkstalker over white hybrid darkstalker. I think the contrast is nicer)

As always, thank you so much for reading down this far! I'm glad you made it! My inbox is as open as ever, and you can find all of my other redesigns through my pinned post which has them linked! My Discord server is right here, for anyone looking to chat/draw/enter in my art contest!

later (o´∀`o)

[wyllaztopia]

2025 is coming so i let my friend @kayseeye [new agdt mod and assistant!!] clear agdt's askbox

as devastating as it was to see a bunch of creative remarks and asks go down the drain - let's be real, i won't have time to answer them with how linear the story is becoming for ease of access [goodbye 500 asks... though kacey took screenshots of drawings you guys sent in our inbox!!!]

hooowever, there's also another key reason we had to clear the inbox

[^ satire btw]

very long and convoluted psa/ramble about this matter ahead! but also slightly important and i encourage you to read it if you think about using agdt's inbox as a way to vent or share things about your irl troubles

some people treat the blog's inbox as a venting area

it doesn't really make me uncomfortable, it's just something i prefer not seeing. i don't like sharing or being shared personal information especially from an anon or a stranger

this doesn't go for just agdt - it goes for all blogs you interact with: please don't make yourself vulnerable to a stranger on the internet. you are putting yourself in a dangerous spot.

if you need escapism or help, turn to a professional or someone close - going to a stranger can go horribly wrong in two ways: you make them uncomfortable and subject them to a responsibility they never signed up for, or you let someone use your vulnerabilities and personal information against you.

i can probably count like 100 or so asks of people sharing something overly personal and asking for comfort. i don't hate it, i'm not mad, i'm just worried and i hope the people who send them become aware that they should not send those asks knowing that if they're answered, they could be answered publicly with everyone and their mama being able to see that vulnerable moment in that ask.

"just ignore them, wyll! besides, you didn't have any rules abt yo blog anyway, yo!"

nah, i'd win

can't exactly ignore them when it's been almost a year of young impressionable users over sharing to a stranger who answers asks publicly [along with the fact that i hardly see people talk about this matter when it comes to rp/ask blogs.] also so they don't do this to another askblog that has another impressionable youngin running it and publicizes asks that contain personal life info.

we don't add rules to asks on agdt because we can pick and choose which ones we answer. a set of rules isn't going to stop an asshole from breaking them so i'm not wasting my time trying to enforce one. and that's not what i'm trying to do in this post either. i'm putting this out there because i don't want people making the irrational decision of making their life and weakest moments accessible to people who want to use it against them.

i'm not trying to make a big deal out of this either. i can just skip or delete asks that i know i shouldn't answer or won't be able to. but that's my side of responsibility as someone with a platform. i want to make it clear that the audience that decides to interact with these kinds of blogs should be aware that just because you're behind a screen and concealed by an internet persona, that doesn't mean you're any safer from other people using your vulnerabilities against you.

[churipu]

hi i wanted to ask since your requests are open but can u write abt jjk guys (gojo, geto and maybe megumi as well) and how it would be like arguing with them? thank youuu~

ARGUMENTS WITH JJK MEN ˚｡𖦹

featuring. gojo satoru, geto suguru, toji fushiguro x reader

warnings. cursing on toji's :)

note. hi nonnie, megumi's been done and you can just click right there to be directed to the said post — so, i'm going to change him to his father jsksdjdk. anyways, i'm so sorry this came out so late, i hope you like it. i was going to focus on my 1k event but then i realized that i'm holding up the requests in my inbox, so i'm going to try to upload them together one by one. / and ngl, i just did my nails done for the first time, aND I AM STRUGGLING TO DO ANYTHING. including typing, but i'm trying my best skdjs.

GOJO SATORU. arguments with him are just plain loud. for instance, we all know how gojo is, he'd be so petty during arguments. despite that though — i feel like he won't ever raise his voice at you, he's petty, yes. but he won't do anything that could scare you, raising his voice.

believe me when i say that he won't back down when he isn't in the wrong. he will argue back if you're wrong; and even with all that banter, both you and gojo will always resolve it together. he won't let you leave or turn away to discard the argument. gojo hates it when you give him the silent treatment — so he tries his best to not let you leave unless everything is talked about, face to face.

"satoru, i'm just saying that i didn't mean to do that. okay? i didn't even realize it!" you tell him, voice loud and bold.

gojo looks at you, brows furrowed, "this is the second time y/n, i'm sure you realize that — you're not a child anymore." you grumbled under your breath.

the past few days have been stressful. hectic for you. you knew though it wasn't an excuse, but when things get too caught up — you lose track of things, and honestly, you wanted nothing to do but to sleep and take a rest. work has been taking a big toll on you, both mentally and physically — and you can't bring yourself to argue with gojo right now.

"satoru, i know. it's just, things have been stressful at work. i'm sorry i forgot to turn off the stove," you tell him genuinely sorry that you almost, possibly burn the whole house down if he hadn't been the one to realize that, "i'm sorry, okay?"

his gaze softened. regaining control over the rhythm of his breathing, gojo reaches out to you, "d'you wanna talk about it?"

you shook your head, "i just wan' to sleep, satoru. i'm tired." he buries his nose into your hair before tossing you over his shoulder, you didn't complain at the way he decided to carry you — you just wanted to go to bed and sleep the night away.

the male held you close as he climbed your shared bed, "'m sorry too," he mumbles, grazing his lips over your forehead.

"you don't have to be, it's my fault for being reckless," you replied, draping an arm over his torso, clutching his black shirt, "can we sleep now?"

gojo chuckles, "mhm. good night," he whispers, "i love you."

you smiled at him, burying your face into his chest, "good night 'toru. i love you more."

GETO SUGURU. arguments with geto can be pretty frustrating, although he never raises his voice at you. he just knows what to say, and he's always right too. whether it being about you forgetting to throw the trash out (once), or you being forgetful about some things — geto just knows the right words to say to you, without making you feel like you're doing something wrong.

see, the thing is in the house. you both divided your chores, geto does the dishes, and the mopping. you do the laundry and vacuuming. while the morning trash is yours, and he does it nightly.

he's usually never in the wrong. most of the time. but when he is, he will admit so. in conclusion, you don't argue with him often, because he will apologize if he knows he did something wrong. but this was on rare occasions.

today is one of those rare occasions. you swore you had left the house clean — and you remembered throwing the trash before you leave for work. yet, here he was, asking you about it.

"suguru, i promise i threw it in the morning. before i left for work," you tell him, taking off your shoes and putting it neatly on the shoe rack. having to come back home from work, you just wanted to eat dinner, have a nice warm bath, and sleep.

god, you hated arguments. you admitted that you sometimes forget to throw the trash out while rushing to go to work, but that was not intentional at all.

geto had asked your prior about it. you knew he wasn't sparking an argument, but the thing is — you remembered it well. going out of the door this morning while holding a plastic of waste, hell, you even remembered bumping into a neighbor on the way out.

"just . . . let me throw it out again—" geto has been awfully silent for the past few minutes, and when you approached the trash can, he immediately stops you.

his hand latching around your wrist gently as he pulls you over, "no, no. it's my fault, i remember now. i was the one who threw that in the trash can after you left," he said to you in an apologetic tone, "'m sorry."

you shook your head, "it's okay, it's just a misunderstanding. and it's not like you intentionally forgot about it, right?" he nods his head mutely, pulling you into a silent embrace, "y'okay sugu?"

"the next time i do that — i want you to smack me in the face, okay?" you chuckled, placing a wet kiss onto his lips.

TOJI FUSHIGURO. i don't know how to say it — he's just accepts his fate and does whatever you want him to do. he thinks arguments are a complete waste of time, it's not like he likes arguing with you in the first place. he just doesn't see a point to it since he never initiates the talking; you always do. but that's because he did things that sparked the said argument. you reap what you sow.

toji can be lazy sometimes. scratch that. most of the time. clothes sprawled out in the living room, on the kitchen counter which he claimed he forgot when he was grabbing water, on the couch, on the headboard of your bed, on the bathroom sink. and honestly, he's a grown man — he knows better than that.

"toji, how many times do i have to tell you—"

"put the dirty laundry in their place, yeah, y'reminded me that like . . . three times today." he grumbled under his breath as he yawned out loudly.

"then why are you still leaving them everywhere? god, this is so childish! it's like 'm taking care of a fucking baby," toji lets out a sigh, "i'm so tired of telling you over and over again. you're a grown man, why can't you act like one?"

toji's not dumb. he knows it's his mistake, and sometimes he genuinely forgets about leaving his shirt out while being too preoccupied with other things. he loves you, he really does. the last thing he'd like is you leaving him because he can't stop his habit of leaving his shirt everywhere.

he approaches you, taking the shirt out of your grip, "my fault."

"damn right it is. the next time i see another shirt, i swear to god, you're sleeping on the couch." you muttered out, crossing your arms — watching as the male meekly trotted into the bathroom where the laundry basket rested beside the bathroom cabinet.

"is that a threat?" he chuckles, peeking his head out.

"no. it's a warning."

he walks out of the bathroom, slithering an arm around your waist, hoisting you up onto his shoulder as he walked towards the couch. prepping you on his lap, "mm. noted, can you stop getting mad at me now?" he comments, grazing his finger over your neck.

and he did it again at night (and slept on the couch like you warned him, he still hates you for that).

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Pent Up 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, virginity loss, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you seek validation through online correspondence with incarcerated men, only for one to lock you down in turn.

Characters: convict/excon!Thor (silverfox)

Note: It's an addiction now.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

'I never thought I'd be writing to someone like you, but you've shown me a different side of things. I hope that my emails give you comfort and can help you through. Even on the other side, they get me through my day. I'm always excited to read when there's a ding in my inbox.

I hope you also enjoy the little bit I could put in your commissary. If I lived closer, maybe I could bring you something homemade. At the moment, bus fare is a bit too much for my pockets.

Anyway, signing off.

Yours,

Diamond'

You add a whole line of heart emojis to the email then hit send. You giggle and click on the next. You don't have the heart to copy and paste so you add a bit of variety to the next.

This one is... Thor? That's his name. He's a funny one. Considering he's in the pen, you're surprised by that. The others are so dire; pushy too.

You hit reply on his last email. Something about a fight and apologising for not replying earlier. He says he was in solitary for a whole week. That sounds miserable. The thought is enough to scare you straight. It's why you've never done anything wrong in your whole life. Until now.

It's not really wrong. It's allowed. It's legal. You're just sending messages. If anything, it's a community service. These men don't have much more contact than each other and that's a recipe for chaos.

You won't admit that other reason aloud. That tickly feeling in your stomach. When they compliment you, when they say they missed you. You can't help but smile, even giggle sometimes. It's nice to be appreciated, even if it's all a fantasy.

You'll never meet these men. That's the fun part. You don't have to worry about any of this. Maybe that helps. Maybe you think too much when you're face-to-face. That explains why every cute guy you talk to sees past you.

'I forgive you, sweetie. It must have been so hard in there. The important thing is you replied. I got so worried! I hope that after all that, my email can bring a bit of comfort. I have to be honest, I never thought I'd be chatting with someone like you. That I could find this type of connection. Please, take care and email soon.'

Another parade of emojis follows and you send it off happily. Now you just have to wait and see who gets back to you first. If it's Ernie, you're not sure you'll respond. He's been fixated on his cell mate and his emails are getting a bit scary. That's the other great part. You can always just delete and block.

The response comes an hour later. You're sleepy and ready to pass out. You read it anyway.

'You are so kind, my queen.' You giggle. Yeah, he calls you that sometimes. If only he knew you were sitting in bed with an ice cream sandwich wrapper and your cell phone. Definitely not queenly behaviour. 'I got through it by thinking of you, of dreaming of the day when we can talk face-to-face. Wouldn't that be lovely? For all my mistakes, I think they will mean something if you and me can be together.'

You make a face. He's so cheesy. You can't help but laugh again. You're not trying to be cruel, you do empathise with his situation, you can't imagine being in prison, but like anyone else, he earned his time. There's one last light.

'If it isn't too much trouble, would you kindly send a picture so I have a face to admire in my lonelier moments? I've attached my own. Forgive me as it dates a few years back.'

You're not smiling anymore. You haven't sent any of the men pictures. They haven't offered theirs but you can look up their mug shots easily. You hate to ruin the fantasy but curiosity has you tapping the attachment.

Oh. You're surprised. He's older than you in this picture and by his own confession, is more so now. But he isn't repugnant. Anything but. Tall, blond, thick! You don't know if you've ever seen a man that size.

Even in a suit, it's obvious that his arms are bulging and his chest is ripe to burst out as the jacket button clings for dear life. The photo is cropped so that whoever he took it with is out of frame. His blue eyes sparkle above a defined smile. Has prison worn down all that?

You squirm. Guilt needles in your chest. You could close out and worry about it in the morning. You shouldn't be that sympathetic. He's still a criminal. You can say no. Easily. What's he going to do about it?

What could it hurt? If he saw your face. It's not like anyone would know. That anyone would recognise you or that he could find you anywhere else. You keep your social media anonymous. You aren't like the influencers who get attention just for being pretty.

It's that that gives you pause. You aren't anything but average. It's easier to pretend you're some pretty thing as you message these faceless men. Well, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe once he sees you, you won't have to worry about all that other stuff. He'll cut you off at the pass.

The thrill of it overwhelms your reluctance. It's like gambling, it could go either way.

You start a new message. More meaningly rewording of previous sentiments. Nothing new. Then you scroll through your photo roll. You take a breath and press down on a photo you think isn't half bad. It's from market day you went to with your aunt. Not exactly cutting edge but fun. She snuck in the shot as you smiled down at your gooey cinnamon roll. The impromptu snap is better than most of your posed ones.

You send and quickly lock the phone. You shove it under your pillow and swipe up the wrapper beside you. You leave it on your night stand and sink down, your insides swimming with anxiety. You're going to regret this in the morning.

🎀

'Will you call me?'

The question makes you sweat. You don't know why you feel bad. You've said no before. To him. To all of them. You draw a thick line between your secret little hobby and your real life. You shouldn't have ever sent that photo.

Despite your regret, you smile. His response was more than you could expect. The praise! You don't know that anyone ever even called you cute but he as good as wrote you a poem about your beauty. You have to remind yourself, given his circumstance, he's starved. He'd probably think your nan is sexy.

Still, you're having a hard time typing those two letter; N-O. Thor is so nice. And he asked so sweetly. But you can't do that. What if someone found out?

This whole thing is starting to feel like a big mistake, but it's so much fun. When in your life will men ever be this into you? When have they ever?

'I could call' you type without thinking. What are you doing? 'Let me know how to do that and we can set a time maybe.'

Don't hit send. Don't hit send.

Email sent.

Shit. Oh gosh. Why did you do that?

You close your laptop and leave it on your desk. You need to get ready for work. You can't be worrying about a man you'll never meet. It's all virtual, it's not real. You'll be okay.

You get yourself together and brace yourself for work. You don't really like your job. You work the counter at a tech repair shop. Independent so it's small and slow. Your boss is a bit strange too.

The only benefit is it's close and it pays a few bucks more than the alternative. You're even allowed to work on your online courses at the service desk. Really, it's perfect. You guess you're just not happy with things being boring.

You blow over the lid of your Sailor Moon travel mug and knock on the door. Jensen lets you in with a grin and stifles a yawn in his elbow. You step past him with a sheepish smile.

"If it isn't the champion of justice," he greets smugly and locks the door. You won't open for another half hour.

"Huh?" You go to the counter and slide your bag onto the shelf underneath.

"Your cup," he crosses the shop. “I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice. In the name of the moon, I will right wrong and triumph over evil… and that means you!”

"Oh, right," you snort at his cheesiness. "You have espresso or something?"

"Red bull," he admits guiltily.

"This early?"

"Early? I never went to sleep," he comes around and goes back to typing on his glowing gaming computer. "Couldn't let my crew down."

You could roll your eyes. All he does is play Fortnite or Halo. He looks like he does too. Yet, he's in here moping after every rare stunner that walks through the door. That's why you'er there. He gets all tongue-tied with women. Well, all of them but you.

"You should join the party," he suggests.

"Well, I don't really play anymore," you shrug. "It was only for fun. My siblings... like it."

"Oh yeah, how's the family?"

"Good, I guess. They don't really call."

Your mom's too busy rebuilding her life with your step-dad. Rather, building the perfect life she never had. You sigh and open up your laptop. You grab your coffee and sip. You're tired of being forgotten.

"Jake," you say, he winces at the use of his first name, "Jensen," you glance at him, "you're a dude."

"Yeah, I am" he answers uncertainly.

"Well, you might know more than I do. You know anyone in prison? Any guys?"

"What?" He exclaims. "Where did that come from?"

"Mm... I was watching a documentary last night," you lie. "About prison or whatever."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, and about you know," you sway and look at your laptop. You're terrible at lying. "The women who like write to them or whatever."

"Ew, like the Ted Bundy weirdos?" He scoffs.

"Not exactly. I mean, none of them were murderers. I think," you shrug. "But... like, if you were in prison, you'd need that, right? I mean, it's just to get you through."

"I don't know. It'd be lonely, yeah, but like... what about after?" He scratches his neck. "I got a buddy who was in for a while but he's a good dude. He was only selling... stuff."

"Really?" You perk up, "he went to prison?"

"Well, he doesn't like to talk about it," Jensen says. "Why are you talking about this?"

"Making conversation. I was just thinking about the show," you sign into your laptop. "Just thinking... I mean, how do you even end up there?"

"Bad things. I learned my lesson when I was sixteen. I broke into the high school on a dare and the cops put me in cuffs for two hours. They let me go once I cried... I mean, I was a kid so..."

You nod and try not to show any judgment. That sounds about right. A notification pops up in the corner as Jensen goes back to the fluttering over his keyboard. You click on the email.

'I've been granted call-time at noon. You can call the number below and request by my inmate number...'

You quickly minimize and hide behind your cup as you slurp. Shoot. You didn't think he'd be so fast. A call at noon? You can't say no. Not now that he got approved.

Well, this is the only time it's happening.

[shiny-jr]

PLAGIARISM UPDATE!

So, maybe I should not have said: "Hopefully this will have been the last we see of plagiarizer Kristynaka1." Perhaps from the exterior it may have seemed like it's been over, but it hasn't. Again, I've tried to deal with this silently in the background. However, my hands are tied at this point and I believe it's best to go public with this once again.

Let's rewind it a bit, shall we? In order to give y'all the full picture of what is going on.

DECEMBER 26, 2024

The story containing the plagiarism is deleted. Oh, what a joyous day. I had figured that would be the end of it, as there's nothing left to do but move on. But, as usual, I was proven wrong.

DECEMBER 27, 2024

I was made aware of an announcement post the plagiarizer made which I will share here. Keep in mind, to my knowledge I was still blocked but others alerted me and shared evidence with me.

Not too long after, I receive a message in my inbox. A message that states they were a neutral user on the issue but accused me of bullying.

I was initially suspicious of this message, but I decided to take their words into consideration. I asked others of their honest thoughts and opinions, because I genuinely wanted to know if I did anything wrong. Most agreed that the user truly didn't sound like they were a neutral party, and that it was likely the plagiarizer themself or a friend of theirs.

Later, I received a dm with practically the same message.

So what do I do? I block them. Perhaps that was wrong of me, and they accuse me of doing the same that they did when they blocked me. But I ask you to consider. Why would I want to continue to entertain this notion of accusations and messages when the ordeal is supposed to be over?

It's around this point where I'm notified by others that comments are continuously being made to defend me. These comments were appearing on the plagiarizer's Wattpad profile, often arguing with the plagiarizer only to get their commented deleted or profile blocked. But it was slowly and continuous. Which is one of the main reasons I am making this post, and is something I will address towards the end in more detail.

Later, I am notified by a few people that the user seen in the screenshot above, let's refer them to as IDK, was messaging multiple users asking for help and their opinion on the matter. IDK created a post accusing me of bullying. While these are heavy accusations, I personally see no truth in them. Again, since I had asked the honest opinion of others earlier when first messaged in my inbox.

Not too long after, I receive another very similar message in my inbox from an anon user. I don't even try to entertain it. I block the user, because at this point, it has become a form of spam or harassment.

The first comment and like on the bullying accusation post was made by a user named Kryllia. Basically they seemed to support what was said in the post. I bring them up because the post happened on a profile with no other posts or visible likes or reblogs. And if you see the current comments, which I won't show here because there are too many, their manner of speech is very similar to Kristynaka's own. Which is why I believe it might be an alt account or a friend of theirs. I also believe this because this account is blocked from my view, and I don't recall ever manually blocking this user, so it must've been them who sent one of the messages in my inbox on anon.

Anyways, those that were messaged by IDK and alerted me, informed me that their own opinions did not align with this new user's claim of neutrality. The post gained a bit of attention, but I attempted to do some damage control by messaging users privately to please keep this under wraps as I didn't want this spiraling out of hand. To which they all obliged and were very respectful.

I had assumed that this would fizzle out and nothing would happen. I was wrong. Now I had users alerting me to comments being made on Tumblr and on Wattpad.

DECEMBER 28, 2024

Now is probably a good time to bring up Teenfic.net and Penana. Just to remind you all. Some research was done and we found both the user and the copied stories on these sites. DO NOT go to these sites, as they are both ridden with malware!

Teenfic appears to be a mirror site that copies stories from Wattpad, so it likely saw the story from Wattpad and copied it. While Penana is a smaller and highly suspicious website where the plagiarizer likely created an account and posted the copied story since they were banned off Quotev and the story was taken off Wattpad. I'm not too concerned with Penana, since it's also full of malware and there's hardly any traction.

I will take the time to say that if you see any stories that are highly similar to mine, please make me aware privately before doing anything else! I imagine this plagiarizer will continue to use other people's work and claim it as their own. I will bring this up again later with more screenshots.

JANUARY 2, 2025

I'm notified by others that the user Kryllia has commented on the bullying accusation post again. Now, after reading their recent comments, they sound more and more like the plagiarizer Kristynaka. However, I'll let you be the judge of that.

So from the looks of it, their plan is to get my account deleted and also to feed original work into AI and claim the result as their own work. Which is not how writing works.

JANUARY 3, 2025

Today I made the decision to finally go public with this information. However, not for the reason y'all may suspect. I want to be honest with my readers. Although I truly believe there is no reason for my account to be banned, I just wanted to put this out there in case it does happen.

Most importantly, the main reason I wanted to make this post was because I want to discourage anymore interactions with the plagiarizer or their alts/friends. Please, no more comments or posts about it. While I appreciate any attempts that were made to defend me, I would like them to stop now as this is only prolonging the conflict. However, if anything does come up, please message me privately.

I would like this to stop, and the situation to end. I realize that it may not go according to plan, but I would rather not acknowledge anything else said by the plagiarizer or her proxies anymore unless the need to arises again.

Thank you to my readers and anyone reading this post. As I said above, please do not engage in any interactions with them, and I encourage you to share this post in the possible scenario that Kristynaka really does uses AI to copy from my works or others again in the future.

[fashion-runways]

okay it's been over a year and i keep saying i'm going to make a new post and it's too exhausting to even think about the whole thing so i keep pushing it-- here's the link to the old post if you want a more detailed thing i wrote back then.

anyway, a year ago, out of the blue, our apartment got raided by the police, they broke our front door, they broke a bunch of shit inside, they took a bunch of our stuff, they barely gave us answers or an explanation, they took my dad and made it seem like he would have to sign some stuff and answer some questions and come back, but it's been over a year (since june 2022) and he hasn't come back, and his case is still up in the air. they're barely working on it. they didn't pay for all the shit they broke, they haven't returned all the shit they took, we had to spend a lot of money on that, i had to take a loan to buy a new computer so i could keep working and studying, on top of spending even more money on basic needs for my dad in jail and lawyers, plus blood pressure and anxiety medications, plus he's old and he was scheduled an eye surgery that he obviously couldn't go to so he's like, practically blind in one eye now, also new clothes for him to wear there (there's a bunch of rules for that), honestly i already lost track of how many things we had to pay for. it's been incredibly stressful and it still is even now that we've gotten used to it. he's been detained for a year for something that they still don't even know if he did and the case is barely moving, i don't know if they're like... i don't know, waiting for the man to die in there since he's already old so they don't have to admit they don't have enough proof for all the mess they made? i don't know. like i said back then, please don't ask me for details on the case or show up in my inbox trying to play tiktok true crime and guess what he did/didn't do. it happened a few times and it's extremely triggering, please don't. please.

this blog is basically my job. it's my primary source of income, i don't have anything else, no matter how many interviews i go to, in the country/city i live and in the state our economy is, if you don't have contacts it's impossible to get a job. i'm always signing up to free programs to learn new things while i don't have a job, try to make my cv bigger, but it doesn't matter. if you don't have someone saying “please hire my friend/family member” or you don't have 500 years of experience, they won't. so like i said, donations people make to this blog are how me and my mom (and my pets) stay afloat. it's what we use to pay for food, general groceries, transportation, electricity, wifi, water, gas, health insurance, stuff for my dad in jail, meds for my mom who has diabetes, food and meds for my pets. i don't go out much, i haven't gotten a haircut in a year, i barely spend money in anything that makes me happy except once in a blue moon when i stop feeling guilty lmao i had a redbubble account also that helped a little too, but last week it got suspended without an explanation as i was uploading new designs, so i don't even have that now. i made a new account on teepublic, but all my designs in high quality are locked behind redbubble and i can't even log into because of the suspension. it's... complicated, and it's a lot, but it is what it is.

i'm always keeping an eye out on new collections, new designers, new cool things. like i said, i love fashion, i studied fashion, and i know a lot of you use this blog as inspiration whether it's for yourselves or for your art, so i don't want to post all similar stuff all the time, i want to post all kinds of styles and brands as much as i can. which is why when i say if you like this blog, if you want to support me, sending even the smallest amount of money helps me keep going. living in latin america, the exchange rate is kind of insane, so truly any amount of money donated helps. unfortunately, i never stop needing money to survive and help keep my family afloat, but in the past year more than ever.

as usual, my kofi link is this one: https://ko-fi.com/fashionrunways and my (new) teepublic link is this one: https://www.teepublic.com/user/dinah-lance. if my redbubble account gets reinstated, i'll add that link eventually too. and as always, thanks for loving this blog and for loving fashion like i love fashion, even when i post crazy looking stuff, and thanks for helping. you have no idea how much your support helps, but it really does, i don't even know if i'd be alive right now if it wasn't for this blog.

[johanna-swann]

This got a little long and it might sound a little mean at first, but. What exactly does Eddie bring to the table that adds to the bigger picture of the show as a whole?

Disclaimer: If you are a big Eddie fan and/or disagree with me, I am happy to have a civil discussion about this. I mean that, I love debates over fandom stuff. You can comment or drop into my inbox, whatever. Please do keep it civil though and if you could actually read the post before coming at me - that would also be appreciated. I can promise you I'll be nice as long as you are and you won't provoke any sort of reaction out of me other than some polite concern for your mental well being anyway. I pick the fights worth having carefully and if you're just ignorant or aggressive, I'll end up blocking you.

As per usual I'm trying to give my rant a somewhat sensible structure, stay as objective as possible and highlight it when I introduce a new point. Alright, let's go.

Observation number one. The firefamily worked perfectly fine as a found family of 4 in season 1. They were a somewhat dysfunctional family, but that's what made them interesting and they already cared about each other so much, even called themselves a family by episode 3 or 4. The show needed Abby and Athena for their respective perspective as dispatcher/cop, but they weren't integral parts of the firefam (yet).

For Athena that obviously changed quickly when she started hanging out with the 118 more and dating Bobby, they're married now and Athena is no longer just one of Hen's closest friends, she's family to all of them.

Abby didn't leave that big a hole because she was only really connected to Buck and no-one else in the first place. Other characters had scenes with her, but she was always there as Buck's girlfriend. The show needs one main character at dispatch, but that didn't have to be Abby. She was replaceable.

In season 2 we got two new main characters that weren't established members of the found family (yet), kind of like we had Abby and Athena in season 1.

Maddie was immediately connected to Buck of course, but then she also got together with Chimney (another main character) and they became a family as well, she has a handful of lovely scenes with Athena and the Wilson-Han family bonds are stronger now than ever. She is integrated into the firefam, her role as dispatcher is important and she's being played by thee JLH which makes her existence in the show load-bearing and basically irreplaceable.

[Side note: Everybody who has been following me for a bit probably knows I'm not exactly a Maddie fan - personally I wish she was written a little more active than reactive, a little more flawed instead of "crying white woman who suffers more than Jesus Christ himself" (I'm exaggerating to bring across my point) - but objectively speaking I know that Maddie is a perfectly normal character on a show that has much bigger issues and that doesn't change just because I personally find her annyoing. I get why the show needs her and why other fans like her.]

Which makes me ask again though, what does Eddie bring to the table? It's nice to have him, sure. I like all the Diaz family dynamics. I love Christopher. The friendship between Eddie and Buck is amazing. Buck's and Chris' relationship will always be special to me. I like Eddie and his weird ass drama. Does the show need him though?

To go with the "bigger picture" metaphor - it's like the show is one big picture and Eddie is a smaller picture that hangs on the same wall. It has its own frame and exists separately, it can be taken down or to a different floor of the museum without destroying either of the pictures. Walk with me:

On a meta level we just have to be realistic. Ryan Guzman is not a name that will draw a crowd like the names "Jennifer Love Hewitt", "Angela Bassett" or "Peter Krause" do. If people know him at all from previous projects then they'll either know him as Jennifer Lopez' eye candy or as that guy who was in one of those dance movies. (I wanna add here that I actually watched Step Up Miami Heat a few times as a teenager, it's a guilty pleasure movie for me that I come back to every now and then and I didn't even realise it was the same guy until somebody else told me.) So yeah, he's an okay actor and I'm sure he's a nice person (or maybe he's not, idk and idc about the actors that much), but I don't think a lot of people started to watch 911 because they found out their favourite superstar Ryan Guzman was in it.

As for Eddie in his function as a firefighter/army medic: We already have 2 firefighters and we already have 2 paramedics at the 118. Eddie is just extra. No disrespect, but we never needed him the way we need a Maddie to man dispatch or like we need an Athena for the police's perspective. The firefighter/paramedic front was already more than well covered.

So, we don't need him for the actor's star power or the character's unique career, what about personal relationships? Eddie's not particularly close to anyone in the firefam other than Buck whereas everyone else has multiple close connections. His friendship with Bobby is there I guess, but it's only shown in one scene every other season or so. I'd put it in the same category as the Maddie&Athena friendship. Heartwarming and nice to have, not integral to the show though. Nobody watches the show just because they love this friendship in particular so much. Eddie has very casual friendships with Hen and Chimney where they exchange banter or gossip here and there when they all sit in the truck together, but I don't remember many (if any) really meaningful scenes between them. To this day I don't think Eddie ever had scenes with Maddie or Athena at all.

Then there's the fact that next to none of his story lines are connected to the 118. All the other characters have had impactful story lines concerning their job at the 118 itself or their personal drama really involved other main characters. [I got side tracked thinking about this, but I don't want to derail the main train of thought too much here, so I put this part under the cut.*]

The Texas arc, beginning with Kim entering the stage in 7x07 and up until 8x13, only proved once again how disconnected Eddie is from the other main characters.

I don't think anybody except Buck knows what happened between Eddie and Christopher or at least nobody mentioned it. Nobody mentioned the break-up between Eddie and Marisol or Kim's existence either. Not even Eddie really talks about Marisol, nor Kim or Shannon for that matter. He is very focused on his son which, you know, fair enough. But moving to Texas, confronting his parents, stepping up as an actual parental authority again (instead of being a bit of a pushover because he's scared to mess up again) is only treating the symptoms, not the cause. The reason all of this happened in the first place is the Shannon-Marisol-Kim disaster and that hasn't been adressed at all by anyone.

Anyway. None of the other main characters were involved in the love triangle (square?) doppelgänger mess and even Buck took a very passive role here where Eddie told him about what was happening, but he didn't do much. Christopher hasn't interacted with Buck at all in season 8 which feels strange considering he was still willing to talk to Buck immediately after he walked in on Eddie and Kim and Buck was there when Christopher left - all in all they were still very close only one season ago. Now Buck is worried about Eddie, but he doesn't talk about missing Christopher. Not to Eddie or Maddie or Tommy.

Then Eddie moved. He's been in Texas for a while now and Buck has expressed that he misses his best friend, but he doesn't seem to be struggling that much to be honest. Before the move he was mostly upset because it seemed like Eddie didn't care, but they cleared up that misunderstanding. After the move it took him one episode to get over it. In the meantime he's getting closer to Ravi, spends time with his sister, still has fun with his job, settles into his new house - yes, he misses Eddie, it was an adjustment, but he's doing fine without him. They still talk to each other, phones exist. But Buck is okay and nobody else really mentions Eddie.

In comparison: When Chimney left in season 5 to get Maddie back everybody was affected. Eddie suddenly worked medical calls, Hen got snappy with Eddie because they hadn't found their rhythm yet, Buck blamed himself and thought about leaving the 118, Ravi had to step up because he wasn't just the new probie anymore, Bobby had to manage that entire mess and vented to Athena.

Eddie left to get Chris back, Ravi replaced him, even Buck got over it within a single episode. More at eleven. You see the difference?

Conclusion: Eddie is replaceable, you could argue that he doesn't even need replacing since there are still four other main characters working at the 118 who are also all friends with each other. When you pay a little attention it's obvious how disconnected Eddie is from the other characters, even Buck sometimes who shares emotional conversations with Eddie, but isn't always an active participant in Eddie's story lines. I don't like this, I'm not sitting here gloating that "my favourite character is superior", I'm just observing this and it's sad. I usually enjoy Eddie's story lines even when the writing could be better (see Texas arc), I see a lot of potential in his character, I spent the better part of 2023 reading Buddie fanfiction mostly from his perspective. But this insistence that "Eddie completes the firefamily" or that it's "just not the same without him" is more than a little exaggerated. The show is exactly the same without Eddie. It's almost funny how god damn unbothered everybody is by Eddie's absence. How did the Texas arc not make that clear?

*On the career themed story lines:

Chim was feeling like Bobby favours Buck which resulted in a bigger fight, a horrific car crash and the first moment where anybody actually said out loud that the 118 is a familly. He later had his turn as Interim Captain where we saw that while he does have a lot of experience and has been at the 118 the longest, he might not want to be Captain in the long run. As we learn a few seasons later, he could very well be cut out to become an instructor at the academy though, proving leadership qualities in a different way.

Hen had her med school arc and while that didn't lead to anything, it did emphasise and confirm for her that she is exactly where she wants and needs to be. She was also instated as Interim Captain several times which showed that she is Captain material and might take over a station at some point.

Buck was kept from his job and had a whole identity crisis about it in season 3, later "Buck Begins" sort of confirmed that after a lot of searching he found the job that is exactly right for him. In season 6 he was wondering if he could make Captain one day himself and in that season finale got a chance to prove that he can not only work under extreme pressure, he can lead under those same circumstances, too. (It was sadly a very short scene and we haven't seen "potential Captain Buck" since, but the point stands and the idea is out there.)

Bobby had to learn to trust his team so they could trust him in return back in season 1, a theme they also picked up again in "Bobby Begins Again" where he started settling in and making the team into, well, a team instead of just co-workers. We've seen him fighting to stay their Captain both in season 2 and recently in 8a.

Eddie on the other hand quit the 118 during his season 5 breakdown arc, but it wasn't about the job, it was about Chrsitopher. Then he had to extend his time away from active duty because of his ptsd. He never thinks about advancing in his career (everybody else either was Interim Captain at one point or at least showed interest in it) or tries anything else unless he sees himself forced to do it for Christopher. I don't think he even is officially a paramedic. Similar to Hen's med school arc it probably wouldn't really change anything because he's usually paired with Buck and he already (occasionally) works medical calls anyway, but (similar to Hen's med school arc) it would at least give him something to do and show that he is generally invested in his career. I haven't seen "Eddie Begins" in a while, but does that episode give us a moment where Eddie truly finds his calling as a firefighter like the others did? I don't think so, we just got two lines or so about "missing the camaraderie, seemed worth the shot" in season 2.

On to the "personal" stuff. Do any of Eddie's big story lines have any impact on the firefam?

Eddie's love life is a mess. Season 2 was all about Shannon and their marriage and the others gossiped a little about it, but what difference does it make to the firefam who Eddie is dating? None of Eddie's love interests ever have any connection to the other family members whereas the other couples are a) both main characters or b) in Buck's case do often have connections to the others. Abby was a main character who wasn't close to the 118, but still shared a lot of scenes with them. Taylor showed up on calls, had her own story lines when she investigated stuff, asked Bobby about Christmas presents, had dinners with Buck that involved other characters like Albert or Eddie. Tommy of course was good friends with Eddie and Chim, but also acquainted with Bobby, Athena and Hen. Even Veronica who only had one date with Buck then turned out to be his neighbour and dated Albert for a while.

Other than Buck I don't think anybody ever really had scenes with Eddie's love interests and even Buck barely met those women as far as I remember. Eddie talks about Ana and Marisol, sure, but do they interact with Buck much?

Then Eddie of course has story lines about being a (single) father, but somehow he always ends up talking to Buck about this instead of literally any of his friends who actually have children of their own. Denny and Harry are shown to be friends, but despite being about Denny's age, Christopher doesn't have scenes with them outside of that one season 3 Christmas episode. Only Buck ever babysits Christopher for Eddie. Recently even Buck hasn't had anything to do with Chris. He coached Eddie through some parenting decisions, but he doesn't have contact to Chris at all. Neither Chris nor Buck express that they miss each other or anything.

There's Eddie's fight club era which ended after one heart to heart with Bobby, but mostly affected his and Lena's friendship who, again, is a character who was Eddie's friend but barely had scenes with the other mains. This is connected to the fight he had with Buck of course, but while Buck's absence and the lawsuit impacted the entire family who picked sides or felt the tension in the firehouse, Eddie's personal issues with Buck are between the two of them. There are raised eye brows during that supermarket fight, but that's it.

He had the shooting story line and while the other characters worried about Eddie of course, it was Buck who was with him when it happened, Buck who took care of Christopher, Buck who rushed to the hospital when Eddie woke up, Buck who picked him up from the hospital and had a heart to heart with him, etc. The other characters existed in the vicinity of this story line, but only Buck was really in it with Eddie. Compare that to when Buck was struck by lightning. Every single main character had emotional scenes with Buck in that story line.

Eddie eventually started dating again and, once more, this was casual gossip fodder in the firehouse, but it was Eddie's aunt who had an actual, serious conversation with him.

The season 7 stuff is part of the Texas story line for me, so I'm not getting into that again.

[veal-exe]

classic. try asking an indigenous woman if indigenous men have male privilege over them, but I have a feeling you would just ignore it when the answer is yes.

Me: I am an indigenous person who has lived as both a man and a woman, I have an indigenous gender and am CAFAB and have lived as multiple genders within my community. White people have privilege over indigenous men, this is a post about how white people especially like to erase indigenous trans men by forcing them into the mold of white masculinity, and as a white passing indigenous person I get to see this firsthand.

You: This and shitting yourself, I guess

Anyway.

What I am saying is that transandrophobia exists and Native trans men are uniquely harmed by a system that punishes us not just for being trans, but for failing to perform white masculinity in a way that pleases colonizers like you.

All anons are white btw. If you're a shitty anon in my inbox, you are white until proven otherwise, this is the number one rule this blog follows because y'all like to fake being minorities and I won't stand for it, AAAW (All Anons Are White)

You want to talk about privilege? Let’s talk about how white feminism centers you, while Native trans men are pushed to the bottom of every conversation. Let’s talk about how your little gotcha is nothing but a dodge a refusal to sit with the uncomfortable fact that trans men, especially Native ones, suffer in ways you don’t want to deal with, because it doesn’t fit your clean little oppression pyramid.

And while you’re busy dragging Indigenous trans men for “privilege,” where is your energy for cis Native men harming other Native men, cis women harming Native trans people, white people erasing indigenous genders entirely? Nowhere. Because this isn’t about justice. It’s about control.

Go talk to actual Indigenous women if you’re so confident. Most of us don’t exist in this weird scarcity mindset you’ve built where no one can acknowledge someone else’s pain without it threatening yours. You can hold more than one truth in your head at a time try it sometime.

Stand with us or die, see if I care, it makes no difference to me honestly.

[theyluvlyss]

𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬...

I saw sinners (twice)...

I don't even know where to start.

I have so many thoughts swirling through my head at such a rapid speed that I can't control.

it's all a jumbled mess of emotions, think pieces, and of course, possible plots/ideas for fics.

I do plan to watch it a third-fourth-fifth-millionth time the moment I get the chance to, and when I do, the plan is to start posting ... STUFF, idk, some of everything (but nothing is set in stone, though, because y'all know me - my upload speed isn't known for being the fastest in the west🥴).

but until then, send some requests in my inbox for me to look at‼️PLEASE‼️, and in due time, they'll get written.

REAL QUICK BEFORE YOU DO THAT, THO, SOME BOUNDARIES, because as much as i'm usually and typically down for writing whatever/taboo themes, i'm already starting to notice some of y'all cuttin' up and acting a fool sumn' REAL FOUL on here about this movie/these characters...

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

- NO, I will not do incest or (specifically in this case/fandom) stepcest (other fandoms I write for are free game - minus actual incest ofc - unless I decide to change my mind and state otherwise idk lol).

- speaking of taboo, though, I will do age gaps (nothing illegal, though, get outta here with that). it's vampire media - if you're coming into it expecting a lack of some questionable gaps, then maybe vampirism isn't for you lmao.

- the reader will be black/black-coded a lot of the time (unless requested/specified otherwise, but also, don't get pissy if I turn down something I don't like) (a.k.a., stay out of my inbox if you can't handle the fact that not everything is about/focused on white ppl).

- I can... try to do modern au's ?? won't be very good at them, fair warning, but it definitely helps if you get creative, and i'm always looking for ways to improve my craft :).

- I will write for...

the twins (obvi) stack (elias) & smoke (elijah) (fair warning, though, i'm picky with plotlines - i've never been an MBJ girly, but i'm IN LOVE with these twins personalities and his portrayal of them, so they might be a little hard for me to write sometimes, might not be other times - my apologies🥲🙏🏽).

bo chow (I could be living in the next town over by train, and i'd STILL find a way to get my ass into this man's shop every single day so I could catch a glimpse of this fine babe😻).

remmick (he's a vampire with a sexy southern-irish accent and a sexy face; need I say more😌?).

maybe sammie (preacher boy)?? (😃✋🏽give me something really good to work with, and i'll see what I can do lol).

and NONE OF THE KLAN MEMBERS,,,

without filter, evil lyssa™ ahead,,, 🥰kys🥰 if you're genuinely out here trying to excuse fucking/writing about fucking a literal kkk member. if all it takes is a deep-voiced southern, "hey, baby" for your morals to escape you, you're a weak minded slut with no backbone, and if you don't like that, get tf up or stay pressed🫶🏽 (notsayingitwasn'tsexyintheheatofthemoment/thewayitwasfilmed, itwas, butagain... STAND UP🗣‼️).

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

anyways🥰, with that being said and evil lyssa™ gone, go ahead and rack my inbox up :D !! i'll maybe probably idk be back with some think pieces regarding the movie and its symbolizms/meanings, and some thirst pieces regarding how fine everybody is♡.

'til then, byeeeee /ᐠ^3^マ/ !!

[so-i-did-this-thing]

hi ! i don't think i've ever actually left an ask in someone's inbox before- but you've genuinely helped me out A Lot without even knowing it. i've been on the fence about setting up an appointment to finally get myself prescribed hrt for. actual years now. i turned 18 a few months ago now and have still been going back and forth on it, not due to not wanting to start/not wanting the effects, but honestly it was because i was afraid. of how i might be treated by others, of what people would think of me .. of things like that.

i found your blog only pretty recently, and i think it was reading through some of your posts that gave me the courage to finally push through my own fear and just do it. so i did. i've finally made myself an appointment, and it's only a little over a week away

so- thank you. for giving me that push i finally needed, just by putting your words out there. i'm sure it doesn't just mean a lot to me, but others as well. thank you for writing and posting what you do c:

I'm glad I could help you make a decision. ❤️

I try to keep a light touch on actually recommending HRT to anyone, other than, "You can always start/stop whenever you want and doing so will still help you know yourself better."

That said, transition is one of those things where you're plunged to marinate in all of the negative consequences - possibly hurting your body, your relationships, your future - that I feel obligated to pipe up and go, "yeah, but what if all the good outcomes outweighed the bad?"

Transphobes love to accuse me of glamorizing transition, but the only seductive message of mine I can come up with is, "what if you get to live?"

Anyway, best of luck to you! Starting the journey is important, and though it could lead you to unexpected places, you at least won't be burdened with, "what if?"

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Rest Had Seemed The Sweetest Thing.

Bucky's slowly learning that love isn't a finite resource. aka, Bucky's first Christmas.

pairing - bucky barnes x female reader

warnings - none!! just tooth rottingly sweet fluff <3

word count - 1.7k

author's note - based on these two requests!! i'm also trying a new post format... what do we think?? I promised you i'd get a couple of xmas fics out before the 25th... I lied. apologies!! forgive me. title taken from the poem The Owl by Edward Thomas.

as always, if you enjoyed, please reblog!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics. thanks, angels <3

masterlist. inbox.

He whispers the words, timid and reserved, directly into your ear as if he's worried someone else will hear. It's only the two of you sat on the couch in your shared apartment, but Bucky's nervous.

Your head whips around in shock, trying to play it cool. Failed.

"Are you... are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

You grin, big and blinding, the beams of it radiating into Bucky's bones. It settles into his muscles, eases the tension from his shoulders.

You try not to make a big deal of it, try to keep your excitement under wraps. But you've been waiting for him to say those words for almost six years.

"I want to do Christmas this year."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

He hates the cold.

No, he's traumatised by the cold.

Years spent frozen, genetically modified and locked in a glorified freezer. Every gust of wind, every flake of snow reminds him of the darkest days with no light to be seen. His blood may run hot, but he feels like his heart is yet to thaw. He debates moving to the desert at least ten times a day.

Then he looks at you. How happy you are when winter comes around. The way your face lights up when it snows. And he figures that if it brings you this much joy... maybe he can tolerate it.

He bites back the chill, grits his teeth at the icy breeze, ignores the shudder of the cold all the way down to his bones. He grins and bears it, because you love it. He thinks you don't notice.

You do.

You've known ever since you met him. His demeanour changes when the winter comes around. He gets a little tentative around the autumn time, as if he's preparing himself for the worst. And then the first snow falls, and he's different. Guarded. Careful. Reluctant. He puts a fake smile on his face and pretends, but you're nothing if not completely in tune with everything Bucky Barnes.

You never asked, never pried. Just stood steadily by his side, regardless of the walls he'd placed around himself. Around his heart.

He broke down one night, wrapped up in bed with you. A chill had blown through your old apartments rickety windows and unearthed old memories, ice running into his veins. He was sure his tears were frozen as they dripped down his face.

You understood him better, since that day.

You've tried to suggest moving in subtle and not so subtle ways, but he won't have it. He knows this is your home. He knows you like it here. He knows he can stay, if he works a little harder on himself.

So, he tries. Every single day, he tries. And that's all that matters.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Okay, so... ground rules. Hit me, Buck. We do this on your terms."

He thinks for a moment before turning to face you.

"I want it to be just us. No one else."

"Done."

"And I don't wanna do the whole Christmas dinner thing. Feels like too much all at once."

You fight the urge to burst into tears at how easily he's communicating with you, how effortlessly he's enforcing his boundaries. You've come a long way.

"Done. Agreed, by the way. Fuck Christmas dinner. We'll do our own thing."

He grins at you, leaning in to kiss you slowly, tenderly, leisurely. Like you have all the time in the world.

"I want to get a tree. And lights. We don't have to do all the ornaments and stuff, but lights would be nice."

"I have an artificial tree in the back of the storage closet... is that okay?"

"Perfect. I don't want to stand on all the pine needles, anyway."

Laughing, you shift closer to him, tangling your legs together on the couch.

"And no gifts for me."

"But Buck-"

"Angel. I don't want anything. I have everything I need sat next to me."

You roll your eyes, but you can't wipe the smile off your face.

"This isn't fair, suddenly."

"It's plenty fair. You stress too much when you buy gifts, and this is going to be a stress free Christmas. Understood?"

He hooks his fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Understood," you whisper, swinging your knee over so you're straddling him. "Stress free."

Bucky tilts his head up to kiss you, gentle at first, then firmer when you roll your hips into his. He's a little distracted, admittedly. He got you to promise not to get him anything, but made sure you wouldn't ask the same. His mind runs a mile a minute, trying to wrack his brain on what kind of gift to get for the love of his life, the person that saved him and continues to save him every single day.

He comes up empty, but lets you kiss the thoughts away for a little while.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"My mom taught me this specific way to hang lights on your tree. Look, grab this end and I'll show you."

You're both still in your pyjamas, fire roaring, a jazzy Christmas melody playing from the radio. You decided you wouldn't put up your tree until the day before, to save Bucky from feeling overwhelmed. It's worked, so far - he looks plenty relaxed as he chuckles and rises from the armchair.

"You're tall, so hold this above your head so they don't tangle."

You work diligently, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you concentrate. Bucky's happy to watch you, fighting the smile off his face every time you sigh in exasperation. Eventually, you step back and admire your masterpiece, satisfied and content.

"It's beautiful, baby," he whispers, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

He presses a kiss into your neck, then another, then another. Your eyes slip closed, and you sink into his embrace, feeling more at peace than you ever thought possible. You spend the evening by the fire, lying on the rug, room illuminated by the lights on the tree.

It's perfect in every way.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Merry Christmas, angel."

"Merry Christmas, Buck."

His hand finds yours under the duvet, pulling you in close. You tangle yourself around him like lights on a tree, all encompassed by his warmth.

"What's the plan for today, Sergeant?"

He presses a kiss into your temple, propping himself up on his elbow so he can see you properly.

"I say we make some breakfast, spend all day on the couch, and then maybe make some dinner? I know we said we wouldn't do a traditional Christmas dinner, but it'd still be nice to take the time to cook something."

"That sounds perfect."

In the kitchen, you make pancakes with copious amounts of maple syrup, strawberries and pieces of banana strewn across your plates.

"My Mom made us pancakes every Christmas morning, you know."

"You've never told me that."

"I know. I kind of refrained from ever talking about anything festive, because I didn't want you to feel guilty."

"For making you miss out for so many years?"

"I haven't missed out, baby. I chose not to do Christmas because I love you. And that love takes precedent over everything else."

Bucky kisses you then, across the kitchen table, full and golden and so full of love you almost fall off your chair. He tastes like blueberry jam and syrup and coffee, and you wish you could bottle it up and stick a little under your tongue when you get homesick.

"What changed?"

"Hmm?"

"Why now? I would have been content to never do Christmas again, if it made you happy."

"Because I realised something, a couple of months ago. We were sat in the park, and you were laughing at that dog chasing the boomerang. The sun was making you glow, like some sort of angel, and I just knew. I can do anything with you by my side. I can't put my future on hold because of my past."

You're fighting back tears as you look at him, so happy and content. You never thought this was possible, when you first met him.

And here you are.

Celebrating Christmas, showing him your childhood traditions, making pancakes like your Mama used to. You're sat at the kitchen table as the snow falls outside and the warmth that Bucky's love brings is keeping the chill at bay.

It doesn't get better than this.

"I got you something," he murmurs almost sheepishly.

"Bucky-"

"Don't yell at me! I know it makes me a hypocrite, I know I said no gifts, I know."

You roll your eyes, but watch his every move as he gets up and leaves the room. You finish your breakfast and put both of your plates in the sink, turning on the tap so they can soak. When you turn around, Bucky has returned.

He's on one knee.

There's a ring between his fingers, glinting in the winter sun. You're both still in your pyjamas, warm and full, not quite having shaken off the heavy embrace of sleep just yet.

It's perfect.

"Maybe it's cliche to propose on Christmas day, but... I want to replace all of my old memories with new ones. Memories like this."

You walk over to him, kneeling down in front of him so your eyes are level.

"You've taught me what love is, baby. And I can never repay you for that. But I can certainly try. Every day, I can try."

There are tears dripping down both of your cheeks, Bucky's grin matching yours. The two of you are overwhelmed in the best way, unsure of how to process the gravity of what you're feeling.

"Marry me, baby. Let's do this forever."

You lunge forward and smash your lips to his, laughing into his mouth.

"Yes," you breathe when you pull away. "God, yes. A million times yes, Buck."

His arms wrap around your middle as he picks you up, twirling you in circles around the kitchen, both of you shrieking with joy.

Bucky slips the ring onto your finger when he puts you down, both of you tilting your heads to admire it.

"I love you," you murmur, leaning up to press your foreheads together. "The cold can't touch you now, baby. This love will warm us forever."

The cold can't touch him now. Love will warm him forever.

@lizzystuffsthings <3

[meimeimeirin]

still on tumblr break, but since i just logged in and saw several asks, i thought i'd clarify a few things here.

regarding me and @/zhongrin

in summary:

zhongrin is privated and archived permanently.

for the two people who asked, yeah, i'm alright.

more utc, but you can skip.

to expand more on the 'sudden' archiving/privating:

i've been debating to archive the blog since last year. to tell the truth, the new theme that appeared in zhongrin since september last year was actually the theme of a new writing sideblog i made. honestly, i had contemplated archiving it since july ー and i've lost count over how many times i created a 'blog archived' post only to delete it, over and over again. i just held on like an idiot and kept telling myself to just post and dip out.

don't look at the activity bar, it's just going to be full of likes. don't look at the notes, i'll just be full of more empty likes. don't look at the reblogs, it won't have any feedback anyway. don't look into your inbox, you won't find any feedback whatsoever anyway. don't look at your dash, lest you'll see other people getting interactions and start wondering if you're the weirdo for not getting any. don't look. don't look. don't look.

i'm just so tired of being disappointed.

it's like writing out a play and 10k people reserved seats to your free performance, yet all you see are thousands of absent seats. all you receive are silent smiles. a few applauses. and less than ten people commenting on the play, most of which are your own friends.

every time i post, i start questioning why did i even bother sharing this. or if i'm even actually good enough at writing. or if that comment was just there out of pity. or if i should have used the time i spent writing, proofreading, and editing to do something else. something that would have brought more joy. something that would result in more than a few strung words on a digital screen that no one thinks is worth sharing.

every time i post, it just feels like i just did something meaningless. every time i do events or bring my ocs to the spotlight, every time i'm having so much fun, people leave and it gets even more silent. my thoughts? my expectations? my joy? my sadness? meaningless. they're all meaningless to these ten thousand people.

why should i keep sharing and doing something that feels meaningless and hopeless?

so i stopped caring and archived. that's all there is to it.

i do have that new writing blog set up. way back since last year. because as much as i loathe the silence, i still love writing. sometimes.

as of today, that blog is still devoid of original posts. i don't know when or if i'll feel comfortable posting my own 'content' again. or maybe i never will. who knows. but if i do, this time, i'm setting things up so i can just be the 'content creator' that readers expect me to be and distance myself from everything.

call me childish. call me jaded. call me a bitch. i don't care. i don't want to try connecting with my readers anymore because tumblr as a community has stopped being a system that can do this. i'm just going to give myself the option of making content and dipping out whenever i want. i'm going to spend my energy having fun with my friends who does care - on a separate, more controlled environment altogether.

this will still be my main since i don't want to bother setting up a new account and re-following people again. but i won't be active here. i foresee i'll be more 'present' in my private blog. for those who does have the url ー please keep it a secret. thanks.

bye, zhongrin. it started out fun. it's a shame it ended on a bitter note. i truly wish it hadn't turned out this way.

signing off once again, meirin.

[horseimagebarn]

Ok so thanks for the answer vis a vis the centaur situation I appreciate it a lot and I'm not trying to convince you to change your ruling but unfortunately you used the word taxonomy which triggered one of my damn neurodivergences. I hope you don't mind but my response will be to deposite these few paragraphs in your inbox I'm sorry in advance if this comes off as aggressive or condescending or just plain annoying I'm just sensing an opportunity to infodump to someone who might be interested in tbe topic so I'm seizing it I'm sure you know what it's like

Anyway there's a disconnect between pragmatism and scientific rigor that people are blind to which vexes me and biological taxonomy is a particular pet peeve of mine the biggest instance of it is crocodiles and alligators which are really the same damn animal for all intents and purposes but that's not relevant

Naturally when one thinks of horses one thinks of domestic horses specifically (Equus ferus cabellus) but I'd argue that certain pictures of donkeys (Equus africanus) look more like domestic horse pictures than certain pictures of Przewalski's horse (Equus ferus przewlaskii) despite the latter being classified as the same species and the former not

And I feel that for a horse image barn the resemblence of a picture to an archetypical horse image should be a higher priority criterion for inclusion than some criteria that biological taxonomy relies on like the presence of specific haplotypes which isn't even a word anyone knows and if you go to its Wikipedia article you get a definition of it that's not really relevant to this ask

So yeah in conclusion I wouldn't tie the in/ex-clusion of images to scientific taxonomy but to Vibes if I were the admin of this or a similar blog but I'm not and you are so you can like do whatever

Also I won't be submitting the centaur image I wanted to submit but can I still send it as an ask I like showing it to people spreading it around etc it's kind of cursed but also funny and I like it a lot and I understand why it's not horse enough to your taste but it's definitely horse adjacent and I want to share it

as a fellow animal wikipedia delver i agree that taxonomy is not the end all be all of the human perception of animals however what i meant to imply is that the differences between centaurs and horses are large enough to be considered taxonomical and are not debatable even in a taxonomical sense due to their many massive differences also i have posted przewalskis horses before as they are true horses and this is horseimagebarn not assimagebarn or centaurimagebarn even though i love donkeys just as much and would own a donkey over a horse any day

i did just take my adderall and am bored at work so i have to humbly yet lengthily disagree with you that taxonomy is not important in both cases presented while the crocodilian assumption you make has bruised my heart as i love alligators and i find them far cuter than crocodiles due to the differences in their jaw structure that makes their bottom teeth fit into their mouth instead of jutting out like crocodiles (which is one of the many actual and notable physical differences between them alongside choice of salt or fresh water etc) i wont get into that and will focus on horses since thats the point of this blog using actual punctuation and capitalization for the first time in this blogs history ill be referring to przewalskis horse as takhi as it is also known so i dont make a typo which i know i will

long ass (donkey pun) post warning

Taxonomy can of course be vague at times or muddied, but it is not an invalid study. All human knowledge is constantly evolving, and mistakes are inevitably going to be made, but that does not make our efforts invalid. It is beneficial for us to know how evolution works. Taxonomical differences are real and worth considering, even if mistakes are made sometimes. Two animals looking similar is not a valid reason to ignore their taxonomical differences, nor is it okay to ignore similarities because they look different—if we went by that logic, every dog breed would be a totally different species.

Speaking of, here's a little more on the whole appearance thing before we get into the science:

The other day, I was watching a video about the actual horses that existed in antiquity, and they are far more similar to takhi than you might think. I'll link the video if I can find it, apologies for a lack of a source on this right now, but the gist of it was that horses of yore were much shorter and stouter than modern horses. The tall, thin horse often seen in modern depictions of ancient time is inaccurate, as is the thick, muscular draft, which didn't become common until later on. Back then, people wanted horses that were sturdy—most people didn't care as much about specific breeds or having the hugest and prettiest horse on the block, especially when food to maintain larger animals like modern horses wasn't always guaranteed, and having such a huge animal could be dangerous and more difficult. Their horses were more similar to ponies than our big guys now, and ponies aren't a separate species. The selective breeding of horses to become taller and leaner made them appear way different from the takhi, but just like dogs, they remain extremely similar to those of their taxa despite looking different on the surface. For example, take a look at the ancient fjord horse breed next to the takhi...in fact, sometimes takhis are called Mongolian ponies! We can even see this in ancient art earlier in the horse's domestication:

Anyway, science:

Firstly, the takhi isn't wholly classified as the same exact species as the true horse, our domesticated Equus ferus caballus. Both Equus ferus callabus and Equus ferus przewalskii are considered subspecies of caballines, or true horses, meaning they're more like cousins (I know it's a cliche to say this, but I mean it), with donkeys and zebras as, like, their nephews twice removed. If the takhi was considered the exact same species as the domestic horse with no acknowledged differences, it would be considered a breed of horse, not a subspecies (though breeds are typically manmade, they are not always—see the word "typical" in the dictionary definition). This means that it does have recognized, distinct differences from the standard domesticated horse that have been taken into consideration in their taxonomy—it is not like the two are blindly considered the same exact thing.

Mistakes have been made in Equus taxonomy in the past, but continued research has led to a retaxing of the genus as early as the 1980s. In the 2012 review article "Discordances between morphological systematics and molecular taxonomy in the stem line of equids: A review of the case of taxonomy of genus Equus," by E. Kefena et al., a number of scholars reviewed the methods with which the Equus genus has been taxed in the past and how they have changed in the past few decades.

According to that article, equines are an incredibly plastic genus. They are very good at adapting to their environments, which led past taxonomists to overcount the amount of Equus species that existed in the past and therefore miscategorize the history of the genus in general. Many were actually just adapted versions of the same thing. This is what we see in the horse and takhi—they are similar but have adapted to their different environments and niches.

In 1986, two molecular scientists, George and Ryder, performed the first DNA-based molecular taxonomy on all living equus species, publishing their findings in the article "Mitochondrial DNA evolution in the genus Equus." By mapping equus DNA and constructing a phylogenetic tree, they were able to take a closer look at the actual genetic disparities between equus species.

George and Ryder found that "[In the mtDNA (mitochondrial DNA) cleavage map,] the percent sequence difference between E. przewalskii and E. caballus individuals was found to range between 0.27% and 0.41%. ... Overall, the amount of divergence presented here is small and not much greater than the 0.36% divergence reported for mtDNA differences found among the human racial groups (Brown 1980; Cann et al. 1984)."

So, horses and takhis are incredibly similar. Using these findings, they separated equus species into three clades: "One that groups the zebras, a second that groups E. africanus [African wild ass] and E. hemionus [Asiatic wild ass, aka the hemione], and a third that associates the true [caballine] horses E. przewalskii and E. caballus as a unit. However, as stated previously, the E. africanus-E. hemionus clade remains enigmatic."

They later state that "E. hemionus and E. africanus appeared more karyotypically [chromosomally] similar to each other than to other equids," hence why they were considered a clade despite being "enigmatic." Kefena et al. explain this weird enigma further, and, notably, compare it to the takhi: "Next to Przewalskii's horses, hemiones were the first species to be diverged from the stem line of extant equids, suggesting that they might be closely related to caballine horses than to asses, though they are monophyletic with donkeys than with horses. On the basis of these evidences, morphological resemblance between species doesn't guarantee genetic similarity between equid species." This means that asses and horses have distinct genetic differences that far outweigh those between takhi and domestic horses, despite the fact that donkeys and takhi look more similar. The hemione looks very similar to the African wild ass, and it is closer to it genetically, but it is not the same due to the way it evolved—it broke away from the general line earlier than any other ass. The takhi is the same; it diverted earlier than other horses, but remains very genetically similar—more than any other extant Equus species. And, even with the takhi's extra chromosomal pair, George and Ryder also found that they and horses were also very close karotypically, giving them incredible similarities both mtDNA-wise and chromosome-wise. Despite that different chromosome, horses and takhis can successfully interbreed and produce fertile offspring, unlike horses and donkeys.

Kefena et al. "MYBP" stands for "Millions of Years Before Present" Funnily enough, G&R also say, "There has been little to no dispute over the close relationship that exists between E. przewalskii and E. caballus; thus the addition of E. caballus to the E. przewalskii branch should be easily accepted." Which is so weirdly on the nose that I feel compelled to say that it's on page 544 so no one thinks I'm making it up. So, with their genetic similarities, their actually surprisingly similar appearances, and their sequential DNA similarities, the Przewalski's horse and the domesticated horse do belong in the same category when compared to other equines like donkeys and zebras. They're not identical, but they're in the same room of the larger equine house. And, check out the tarpan, Equus ferus ferus, another subspecies of Equus ferus and the most recently extinct of them all, alongside the current Equus ferus species (and a concept of the original Equus ferus pre-domestication by Cameron Clow on Artstation)! They're all friends:

Conclusion

you can send me centaurs if you want i just wont post them

[formiito]

wip ask game??

i actually don't have that many wips but i'll do this anyway ahahahaha I STARTED CRASHING OUT BEVAUSE TUMBLR KEEPS DELETING MY POSTS. MAKE IT STOP. tagged by @multjverse thank you.

rules : list your wips and tag as many people as wips, then people can ask about wips in your inbox... i think???

infinity aria : overture (the first chapter to my infinity aria series, a fyodor / reader fic. reader is reincarnated multiple times, and every fifty years after their death, fyodor finds them again through fate.)

sir, this is a mcdonald's (au where atsushi never joins the ADA. he has a typical mcdonald's job and he's quite happy to be Just Some Guy except everyone is out here trying to ruin it for him.)

花喰み or madame de sade (dazai/reader, for my songfic event. mashed up two songs for this, although the madame de sade influence is very little. based on a phantom siita song)

sskk hs au (also requested for songfic event. exactly as it sounds <3 currently at upwards of 4.8k words)

space soukoku 2 (this is actually the third chapter of my space soukoku au, melting in the milky way. i just wrote dream interlude in one day so it got posted earlier...)

dreams books power walls (originally for skk mixtape, but this scene would likely be scrapped. based on a jannabi song, although this isn't the mixtape song i was assigned lol.)

chuuya motorcycle au (not much of an au, just a wip request from long ago. chuuya teaching you how to ride a bike god im unhealthy about this man)

silent hill soukoku au (years after dazai's death in beast universe, chuuya receives a voicemail and a letter from a dead man, asking him to come back to suribachi city, where they first met. despite his better reasoning, chuuya goes back to those ruins. the nightmare begins here. probably won't be starting it in quite a bit...)

waltz macabre (what beast! dazai sees as an apparition of his guilt is your ghost. finding solace in something incorporeal, you stay by his side only to torment him with the weight of what could have been. when he finally joins you behind the curtain, he knows it's been you all along. beastzai x reader.)

tagging: @mikayuumouse @attaiii @monsterswithinme @qirongisabrat @chuumwah @gigglestick-9000 (idk who else to tag lmao)

[sheeezu]

I’ve been trying to shift for the past five years. I love shifting and it’s honestly the one thing that kept me going all this time and gave me hope and it just felt right. Everytime I would feel demotivated I would change my mindset, think positively, and try again. Or I would take breaks and then try again. I have tried every method and then realized I didn’t like methods so I tried no methods and just intention which I liked but then the cycle would repeat after trying for so long and not shifting at all. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt myself shifting but never got further than that or actually fully woke up in my dr or wr. I’m a stubborn person and never wanted to give up on shifting because I know I can do it and I know I deserve it and it is what my soul wants. But lately I’m so burnt out with my cr life which never gives me a break and with trying to shift to the point where I’m thinking of giving it up even though I don’t want to and it’s been the one thing giving me hope. I’ve even tried not to try to shift and just go with the flow and simply affirmed but I still wake up here. I know a lot of other shifters feel the same way as me who have been trying for years. But I’ve reached this unfortunate point where I have lost a bit of faith and am too tired to try anymore even though it’s everything I want. It’s like I see it dangling in my face and see other people get it easily and I know I can have it too but I can never reach it and now it’s too exhausting. But it’s like even if I took another break, the cycle will just repeat like it has been. And trust me I’ve read everything and tried changing my mindset and thought positively and have had hope and know I can shift. I know this seems like I’m just ranting and having the most negative mindset so you’re like well of course this is why you’re not shifting, but genuinely after trying your best at something you’ve loved for five years and still nothing and in fact things are just getting worse in your life when you’ve done your best at juggling everything from work, school, family, and shifting, just to feel like you are going no where and lost everything anyways, that can break down even the most hopeful positive of people like me in my shifting journey. I don’t know if there’s any advice you can hopefully provide for this that I probably haven’t heard but thank you anyways for all you do and I’ve always admired who you are and how authentic you are. ❤️ who knows maybe something will miraculously change for me when I least expect it but for now here I am! ❤️

Of course, you're right, that I've probably got nothing new for you, but maybe what I'm about to say may ease your stress, make it fade away from background.

Shifting is dependent on which lens you to try to look at it.

If you looked at it through the eyes of your CR self, then of course, you'll remain your CR self.

But if you were to view it from your DR self's eyes, shifting won't be there, but your DR will be.

Shifting is all about breaking a mold. to solve shifting like any other worldly problems, robotically, like you're trying to pass on a test, is not how it works.

Simply assume you're not human. I know you've mentioned the struggle of juggling other activities alongside it, you have to let go of the crave to make yourself seem like "you've done enough", that is a human response to any situation.

I know my word would induce nothing but agitation in you, because it is simply not something anyone who works hard would want to hear, shifting does not require hardwork.

I would rant all I know in this post, to try to push you in the right direction, but I wouldn't like to be so unorganised.

I have already made much posts on my blog, which focuses on letting go of human identity and ideologies, so please, if you haven't come across the knowledge I can share, reach back in my inbox, so i could link all the posts I think could help you.