#and anyone disloyal deserves to die

[lyrebirdgore]

The god complex is trying to convince me that I need worshippers. I want a cult. I need a fucking cult. Some worship me or I’ll start killing. If someone doesn’t start fucking worshipping me.

I am a divine presence and you my lowly followers, and even as such I’ll give up my body, soul and mind for the first follower to pledge their loyalty to me

[antianakin]

Oh cool, so Omega suddenly remembers there were other captives on that fucking mountain only after she and her personal favorite escape. It's way too fucking late for that, babe, sorry.

Like it's VERY hard to believe she cares when she never once spoke to any of them even though she walked by all of them EVERY DAY to go speak to fucking Crosshair instead and when her first reaction to Rex was "I thought we didn't like regs." They showed her bonding to the DOGS instead of the actual CLONES. That shows where those clones rated on Omega's list to me.

Even if the idea was supposed to be "They couldn't have all escaped, so it was better to leave and bring back a bigger force to help get the others out" then you could make a solid argument that she should've and could've just left Crosshair behind and gotten out herself. She wastes precious time and resources going to get Crosshair out, it's far more suspicious for her to get Crosshair out because he's literally in a prison while she has the ability to walk around freely and won't have people asking questions when she shows up somewhere the way Crosshair would. And going by this episode, she clearly doesn't really need Crosshair's help to escape and find Hunter and Wrecker at all.

The other reason that that argument wouldn't work for me is that we never see Omega ever express that to anybody. She never expresses any care about the other clones until she's already escaped, she only expresses care for Crosshair, the dogs, and Emerie. She never speaks to the other clones, she never goes up to them to try to bond with them, she doesn't say anything to the prisoners she's leaving behind to explain she won't be able to bring anyone else with her but that she promises she'll come back to get them all out with more help.

It almost would've made more sense for that kind of sentiment to come from CROSSHAIR, at least it would've demonstrated more growth for him. He had an entire episode last season where he grew to care for one of the regs, despite all of his prejudice against them, and that's what got him sent to Tantiss in the first place. It would've been SO NICE to have Crosshair refuse to leave without the rest of them because NONE OF THEM deserve to be left behind, and if Omega wants to escape, then fine, she can go, but he won't leave with her if it means the others have to stay on Tantiss.

This could've been a way to sort-of showcase the way Crosshair has developed while away from the rest of the Batch. Hunter and Wrecker and Tech don't spend time with other real clones and have expressed a distinct lack of understanding about why Echo even CARES about trying to save the clones. They left and have been on their own since Order 66, relying on friendships with other people to get them through. But Crosshair stayed behind, Crosshair has been spending a lot more time around the chipped clones, Crosshair has been getting a front row seat to what's happening to the clones under the Jedi, Crosshair is the one who bonded with Cody and then Mayday and saw what was done to both of them. Crosshair betrayed the Batch when he stayed behind, he was disloyal, but it allowed him to see the real clones in a way he never had before, to find a way to connect to them a way he never could before, and so now he refuses to just abandon the other captives on Tantiss the way he abandoned the Batch. The Batch made friends among regular civilians and war refugees, but Crosshair learned what it meant to be part of the actual clone community, what it's always meant to be considered one of many. Crosshair could've taught Omega about that bond, he could've been the one to be the bridge between her and the clones she's been so distant from.

Instead, they just have Crosshair abandon them with Omega and it's OMEGA trying to insist they go back later to save them and Crosshair doesn't care about them any more than he has before and is happy to just leave them all behind to die.

[joltning]

i forgot I never posted this here so.

how I see desert gulch is as people they COULD have realistically ended up as. like in a kind of “bad ending” where nothing caused them to grow and they just kind of simmer in their hatred. they already kind of mention how like, if Church didn’t die Tucker would grow more powerful and eventually die due to his own hubris. more of that pls. more small differences butterfly effecting. THATS LITERALLY THE THEME OF S15.

more under cut

i Lied. this is not a comprehensive post this is me slightly rewriting my rambles

adding the theme of the past coming back (instead of consequences) I’d LOVE Love Love to see some of the older speeches come back but be spun on their heads. Sarge’s rally speech being changed to one of hate by surge pointing out the negatives in the reds and blues instead? kimball’s speech being said by temple “fight because you deserve to win”?? PLEASE. HEAR ME.

temple: Please give him a water theme. I’ve mentioned this before but having desert gulch be a cold desert like sidewinder initially and then slowly melting into an ocean signifying the bitter, burning hatred for everything around him, also leaning into Carolina’s rivals being fire themed? PLEASE. it would also foil church with him growing farther from all the rest of the members adding onto his “nice on outside bad on inside” reverse of him. ALSO. MAKE TUCKER REALIZE ITS A BACKSTAB WAAAY BETTER. he’s been through this shit before. he knows what’s up.

buckey: there is so much for me to say but I don’t have the right words to say it. Tucker is such a strongly built character that with any of the wrong moves could have crumbled into the worst person possible. Most prominently, he’s very honest and while he does have an ego, puts his friends first. Buckey is already a SLIMEY bitch but he needs to be a liar, egotistical, and a show off at any opportunity. But not a good fighter. Noo.

surge: thanks for putting it into words youtube comment section. Make him like early seasons where he didn’t really give a shit about his soldiers at all. I really need that parallel theme to shine through with him berating his soldiers while Sarge uplifts them and clearly cares.

Gene: make him clearly disloyal from the start. he’s already pretty good but I’d love to see him backstab surge to climb the ranks. Simmons is bitchy and always critical, but I need gene to be a HATER. literally just straight up ready to claw at anyone to get his way. he is his ONLY priority.

cronut: instead of having an echo chamber of sex jokes how about you actually make him the most “alpha male” kind of person ever with the densest “i would never make a joke like that” shit ever make his masculinity so frail it would not only be funny but would be great contrast and make sense with how donut could have ended up. Sorry Cronut fans

the main difference here is that each of these characters would end up here due to their strained relationship, and clearly only tolerate each other due to necessity. the reds and blues don’t even have to do that much. they just have to sow the seeds of doubt that already exist, and wait for them to all crumble apart in a butterfly effect of hate that had always been there. And watch on, as every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

[sunhalf]

@dearlybeloves : ❝ it's too late to say it, but i wanted to say it anyway.❞ / rikushi.. / accepting.

Xion's thought about it. About what Riku could say to make it better.

She told Lea about it, once; how she imagines conversations that will probably never happen. He said it's normal, that lots of people do it. It can help with closure. She thinks that's nice, so she lets herself imagine. What would Isa say, would Xemnas say, would Xigbar say, would Larxene say, would Naminé say — would Riku say, if they were really trying to make it okay? How would they make it better, what beautiful thing would Xion say back?

Sometimes when she imagines it, she accepts what the others say with grace and kindness and mercy and everyone is awed by her generosity. Sometimes when she imagines it, she sobs and screams and swears she'll never forgive them and they promise she doesn't have to. No matter what, she's always the winner.

There's no winner when it's real she thinks, exhausted and dim and not beautiful like either of the corpse - girls her face is borrowed from, looking at Riku. It's too late, and it was always going to be too late. There's nothing Riku could say to make it better, because there's no apology that would be real and no promise to the future that would be real, too. He may feel guilty for killing Xion — for killing Roxas — but he can't regret it. He would do it again. Xion can't forgive a sin he'd try again. Most days, killing Xion doesn't even feel like it would count as a sin.

( once, she imagined accusing him of being useless, pathetic, disloyal. he'd kill anyone for sora. he'd kill aqua and ventus and hayner. he'd probably kill kairi. it was so easy to kill the girl with her face, after all. )

There's no winner. He killed her or, worse, he convinced her it would be selfish for her not to kill herself. It took her months after coming back to realize that that was a cruelty and not a kindness. It took her months to realize that being told to die instead of outright murdered is not a kindness. He taught her that — that she didn't deserve to be alive. Just like Saïx and Xemnas and Xigbar. There's no winner because there's nothing Riku could say to make it better, and because Xion can't even hate him, not really. Xion can only feel tired and sad for the both of them.

"Okay," she says, and then a beat passes. There should be more. There's nothing Xion can say to make it better, either. "I hope that — someday you're...strong enough to mean it."

[niragixpsych]

That's when you change to the better, picking yourself up instead of keeping to whine. You've developed a good mindset. Could be words from me once again. Maybe you're my soulmate, ever thought about that? Just kidding, I don't really believe in soulmates. That's definitely too cheesy to be true.

When I set the fire then it's definitely interesting to me. Or when I push someone else's head under water. Then water is interesting as well. That's all I gotta say about fire and water.

Yeah, hate is the most powerful feeling ever. A huge fuel. And you certainly had still a task to solve on this world that needed to be fulfilled. However, guess Satan needs guys like us as weapons so we're still existing even though we actually shouldn't be.

True. But that's just their survival instinct. I'd never expect anyone to try to help me before they helped themselves. Everyone can turn into a backstabber. As for me, I certainly risk things to protect someone weaker, I'd rather watch myself catching a bullet than a child, for example.

That other world sounds interesting actually. As if it's like some purge-night. I'd love to go around and shoot some pedos in the head. Those fuckers never get the punishment they deserve. This pisses me off.

Loyality is one of the most important things to me. I barely forgive disloyality. What are other expectations you have when it comes to a friend?

Could sign that once again. It gets troublesome if people try to tickle something out of me they mostly fail. But yeah, I'm open for new experiences, more than I've been in the past. Too much stubborness didn't do me good.

I decided that I'm done backing down. I would consider myself lucky in a way that I'm walking on a wire so to speak. I'm up high enough to not be bothered by others attacking me. Sure they can dream of hurting me, but I'll end up hurting them instead. Also I was about to say you didn't strike me as someone that believed in soulmates. If such a thing existed you would think you would hear and see of it more. But I guess it's simply wishful thinking from humans.

Of course those things are only interesting to me if I'm in control of the situation. I know how it feels to get burnt and I definitely prefer to set things on fire. Also water can be used to get people to talk.

Sometimes I'm convinced fate sent back to make others suffer and I'm not complaining about it. I will be here for as long as I can and then drag everyone down to hell with me I deem worthy of it. Sure I'm haunted by my own demons, but I learnt to live with them a long time ago. Maybe that's just to remind me of where I started or as what I started, who knows.

It sure is true that everyone can turn into a backstabber so it's best to never fully trust anyone. I wouldn't say I'm fond of weak people, but I guess it depends on in what way they are weak. Strangely enough I can see myself helping a child out, because I remember how it is to be one and not get help. And maybe also in rare cases those that can't help that they are weak. I don't think I would help someone that didn't try first and just calls themselves being weak as an excuse for not trying in the first place.

This place has no law, no one that will hold you back from doing whatever the fuck you want. Sure there are some rules to obey, but they only have to do with the games you have to play there. Play to stay alive or die trying. Some just give up though because they can't take it being there. Maybe one day I will show you because I can go back there at will. I know you will find a lot of people worth shooting.

A friend, huh? Trying to befriend me... something people rarely dare to try. I want that person to be honest with me and be their true self. And not try to change me. I'm not for everyone and I prefer to be that way. So if someone tries to therapy me they have to go. I know I'm not normal and I don't want to be normal. I know I'm repeating myself but whatever.

I'm trying to be open to things and to people I see as interesting. If I sense someone just wants to use me I will either drop them or use them instead. I also learned that sometimes if you try to nice, well as nice as you can be, people won't see it as that what it is. It makes you less willing to try.

[lollytea]

I wonder what the full context behind the prior grimwalkers' "betrayal" towards Belos entails? Did they all catch on to his moral depravity concerning his true intentions for the witches of the B.I? Or did their disloyalty hit close to home for Belos if the WitterClones starting forming a certain type of "connection" with a witch like his brother?

NO YEAH I've been thinking about this for weeks and have been dying to ramble about it. I'm completely obsessed.

Everything revealed about Belos' insistence on making these grimwalkers raises so many questions but the best conclusion I can come to is he's completely fucking nuts, sick in the head, so consumed by a mixture of puritan values and hate for his dead brother that he keeps reconstructing him over and over again so he can live the delusion of punishing him for something he's held on to for over 400 years. The puritan values come in where Belos seems to have convinced himself that he simply wants to create an improved version of his brother, a good God abiding brother who never sinned and that he himself is a good man for taking on this difficult venture. But really, its all a sick game to him.

"It hurts every time he chooses to betray me." But does it though? Belos already had Hunter out searching for ingredients for his own replacement back when he was a perfectly obedient and promising solider. And then in the mindscape, Hunter was loyal to Belos until the very last second until Belos deliberately spelled it all out for him, then he decided "oh well looks like this traitors gotta die." Like Hunter did nothing wrong but Belos was clearly itching for an excuse to kill him. He said it was a "shame" but maybe it was the striking resemblance to his brother that made him so eager to destroy this one in particular.

And so this response to Hunter really does bring Belos' opinion of the former grimwalkers into consideration. How many of them actually stepped out of line but Belos just became bored of them and gaslit them into believing that they were traitors before slaughtering them?

I'm sure every grimwalker has a different story and I'm sure plenty of them did intentionally betray Belos. And I'm sure plenty of times this was his intention. Maybe he saw it all as some psychological experiment, pushing these boys to their limits until they snap and finally lash out, giving Belos vindication that his brother WAS an awful disloyal man who never truly loved him and deserved death, as no matter how many times he is recreated, he betrays him again and again.

I often wonder if the grimwalkers only take after the original in looks or in personality too. I assume its a "nature vs nurture" type thing where they will be far different from Philip's brother depending on how they were raised, but some character traits are simply so strong that they persist in every grimwalker to date. Like Hunter's kind heart in spite of everything he's been raised to be. I like to imagine they were all truly compassionate people who were sickened by the thought of hurting anyone. But in spite of everything, it was hard for them to not do as told when all they knew was this godawful abusive life. It makes me think of the two grimwalkers we were shown. They had Hunter's voice but they were so different from him. Though Belos terrifies Hunter, the boy still speaks loud and clear with a tendency to casually ramble. There is none of that in these Golden Guards. They're quiet, meek, and when they speak they sound so monotonous, so entirely broken. It leads you to wonder if these ones in particular even had the strength to rebel or if Belos just got bored of them.

My personal headcanon that I hold on to so tight is that all the Golden Guards who did betray Belos did so because of witches. Some made friends, some fell in love, some found parental figures, some found children. (e.g. Darius and Hunter's predecessor.) Basically a crucial trait passed down from the original was their huge capacity for love. And they spent their lives pouring love into their relationship with Belos and once it was given to them in return by people who ACTUALLY cared about them, they were willing to fight for it. They were willing to finally see that they deserved more than Belos ever gave them. And Belos, in return, gets his sick satisfaction that witches will ALWAYS be the reason that his brother is taken away from him and so he becomes more and more determined to carry out his genocide.

[peakyblinded]

"Polly made her choice from beyond the grave. She sent Ruby to save her beloved Tommy and not her own son Michael. She was loyal to the end" yes but she was disloyal to her own baby boy which makes me roll my eyes at we supposed to root for polly being on tommy side and not seeming to give a f about her son just because his become a bit of a dick. makes me think he did not have much of a tommy if his own mother is not on his side. but guess we supposed be oh he deserves it etc because anyone who is tommy enemy is evil rolls eyes and to me it makes polly seem such a bad mom but guess we suppose root for polly not being on her son side because everyone has be on tommy's side or they evil or deserve to die.

Everyone's a bit of a dick on this show (except for Curly). But the biggest dick of all is Steven Knight. The writing does not make sense, man. Which you already have pointed out so nicely in your slightly chaotic message (but don't worry, the inside of my head is exactly the same. i know exactly how you feel).

If the characters on this show, not just Michael and Polly, were allowed to breathe and develop on their own and in interaction with other characters, I think this show would've been way better. You don't need all those extra elements and outside characters and plotlines to bring action, drama and tension the show.

This has been bothering me for years with this show. Because everything else on this show is spot. on. The costumes, the set design, the filming, the sound- EVERYTHING! but the writing...

[kaija-rayne-author]

Game spoilers for Dragon Age Origins, Dragon Age 2, and Baldur's Gate 3.

Neither is that guy from BG3. I really don't get the comparisons between Zevran, Fenris, and Astarion.

I loved Zevran, loathed Fenris, and love Astarion while thinking he's an asshole ('cause he is).

Zevran is a rogue assassin who takes a contract on the warden hoping to die for doing something he believes is an unforgivable crime. (Mentally ill, decent rep, suicidal ideation, probably depression.) He's an escaped enslaved person from the Antivan crows, a league of assassins. He only wants gold, silver, and leather goods as gifts. They're his only way of valuing himself for the precious metals, and the smell of leather reminds him of home and his mother's gloves. He's blond with gold-brown eyes and brown skin. He's soft spoken with a Spanish 'Antivan' accent. He doesn't seem to hate anyone except himself, a former associate, and the crows. Despite being a rogue, he cannot pick locks when you first meet him. He's very sex positive. He's bisexual. He's loyal to the player character. He's a dual-wield with sword & dagger. Commoner.

Fenris is an escaped enslaved person, and a gladiatorial warrior who wants vengeance on anything and everyone, but especially the person who 'cursed' him with his magical powers. (Story spoilers, his beliefs are flawed, he competed for the honour of the gift and to free his family. It was as voluntary as an enslaved person can act.) He utterly loathes mages. He's also a badly stereotypical alcoholic with PTSD, (mentally ill, shit rep) he's an asshole, he has reasons, but he's utterly cruel and verbally abusive to people who don't deserve it. (Nope. Not arguing. Look at how he talks to Merrill. And no one could deserve the way he talks to people.) Mental illness can be a reason for a problem, it's never an excuse. Wants gifts of (I think?) a sword & a book. He has white hair, brown skin, and green eyes. He comes to the player fully built as a warrior wielding a greatsword and a magical gift. He's bisexual. He backstabs the player character at a critical juncture of the end game earning the disloyal tag. (I don't give a shit if he comes back to some players, when the chips were down, he walked.) I have no idea what he's like if you Romance him, because I can't stand him. Commoner.

Astarion is a high-elf (moon elf), a rogue and vampire spawn, as well as a noble-born corrupt city magistrate. He's a fellow kidnapee and host. He has white hair, very pale skin, and red eyes. He hates himself, everyone else, his former master, and a people known as the Gur. He's an asshole, but he has ample reason to be. Doesn't abuse people because of it. Gifts n/a in BG3. (Mentally ill, likely CPTSD, claustrophobia, survivor syndrome, depression, anxiety and/or a personality disorder. Not great rep.) It doesn't really seem to affect him the way it probably would, and those things would. It's possible I just haven't put him in a closed up enough space, but some of the tunnels shoulda done it IMO. He's slow to trust for obvious reasons. Astarion has been enslaved by his master vampire for 200 plus years. He can actually pick locks and is remarkably adept at it, like a rogue should be. He's had to use his looks and his body for centuries to lure prey. He has become touch-averse & sex-negative because of it. He may even have been before Cazador, we don't know. (I'm a sex positive ace and know sex-neg aces in real life, it bothers me deeply how much Astarion is sexualized and that crucial part of his personality conveniently shoved aside because he's pretty. (I mean, yes, he's very, very pretty, but that's what Cazador chose him for? Way to do exactly the same thing his master does to him folks, really! /s.) He uses sex and his looks as a tool. He's loyal only to himself for most of the game. He eventually develops loyalty for the MC and the party. He's bisexual. He's a dual-wield with sword and dagger or short sword, plus he's very skilled in archery.

Zevran: Elf, rogue assassin, dual-wield sword & dagger, shit at picking locks, soft spoken, easy going personality, speaks w/Spanish 'Antivan' accent, personalized self-hatred/associate hatred, enslaved, loyal, mentally ill, bisexual, sex-positive, commoner.

Fenris: Elf, gladiatorial warrior, greatsword & lyrium magic, locks aren't a warrior thing n/a, growly and louder spoken/yells, grouchy, speaks with a British 'Tevinter' accent, loathes the entirety of mage-kind for what only one did, enslaved, disloyal, mentally ill, bisexual, no idea how he views sex, but I doubt it's great, commoner.

Astarion: Elf, rogue magistrate, dual wield w/sword & dagger or short sword, archery & magic, aces at lockpicking, speaks w/a plumy British (noble?) accent and put on airs, snide & mocking, hates himself, and everyone else but especially Cazador, enslaved, loyal to himself and eventually others, mentally ill, bisexual, views sex as a tool & is very sex-negative and touch averse.

There are superficial similarities, sure. But that's all they are, superficial!

Zevran and Astarion share: Dual-wielding, loyal rogues.

Fenris and Astarion share: Magic

Zevran and Fenris share: Commoner

All three have these commonalities: They're all escaped enslaved, mentally ill, bisexual elves.

This is what I could think of off the top of my head, I'm likely missing some. And no, please don't argue with me about Fenris. I was half in love with him before even clicking 'play' but ended up loathing him. I do like elves and they're usually my type. I may give him another chance in a future playthrough, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm glad he worked for you, he really really didn't for me.

But these extremely superficial similarities don't make up a character's personality! They can inform it, help mould it, but that doesn't even come close to making them the same kind of character. I was a little worried about people saying that Fenris and Astarion are basically the same person, but once playing, I can now utterly refute that they're at all similar in any actual deep ways. None of the three are all that similar at all.

And yes, Astarion is a video game character, you bought the game, do whatever you want with him. I'm just personally bothered by all the extremely sexualized fan art I see of him. Sex-negativity is a whole thing, y'know? He has every right, and does, put up a 'no sex' boundary. One of his stand-by lines is 'Don't touch me' for pity's sake! Y'all do you, he's fictional, but you're getting epic nuclear stink-eye from my touch-averse asexual ass. I deeply wish I could see some more art that has the cuddly/close comfort of relationships that Astarion eventually learns to enjoy, while respectful of his touch-aversion and sex-negativity.

At least they got away from the racist brown/black skin with white or light hair trope with Astarion.

Yes, it's aestheically interesting to most people alive now who grew up reading/watching/playing fantasy, yes, it's also racist. It makes people with brown or black skin feel like they aren't shown in fiction as they really are and if they are shown, it's only with white or light hair & light eyes. It makes brown & black skinned people wonder what's wrong with the much more common brown eyes and brown or black hair. What's wrong with them that they can't be in fantasy stories as they are, just like everyone else can be. It's just another way that fantasy is racist.

And I'm gonna point at fan reactions to Wyll as another example. At least his VA is also Black. Wyll is a classic Prince Charming/Hero character, and people get on here saying he's weak and boring. Seriously? If he's 'weak' that's on you for how you built him. He's basically warlock/tank-light for how I've got him. 'Weak' isn't a word I'd at all associate with him. (Paladin-esque? Self-sacrificing? Bit too on the moral good side for my current chaotic neutral playthrough? Hot as blazes? Excellent dancer? Charismatic? Complex character? Velvety, delicious voice? Sure.) Better check your racism folks, it's showing.

We, as a species, need to be anti-racist if we hope to improve the world for everyone. And dear gods do we ever need to do something before we fry our entire species. The first step is to acknowledge the problems when we see them, and to call them out.

Do I have a character in my books that fell into that trope? Unfortunately, yes, I do. I wrote that character before understanding the problem. I am now aware, and won't make the mistake again. We all have to learn what we don't know. Especially, if we don't know that we don't know it.

If you want to personally make your MC/PC with darker skin, light hair and eyes for aesthetic reasons, on your own system, it's a personal choice in a game you purchased. You purchased it, play it however you want. I'm not into gatekeeping, just education. It does happen in reality, it's just nowhere near as common as people would like to think it is.

Or believe it is, based on how authors have described black and brown characters in fantasy for decades.

The media critique abilities of both the DA and BG3 (which is basically a circle, let's be real) fandoms could use some work.

If you enjoy my content, please consider a tip. My work of words is currently our only income. My partner has a broken back, I'm disabled, and we have minor children. We get no aide from anywhere and live in poverty.

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why do people keep saying that fenris, zevran, and that guy from bg3 are the same kind of guy. Im sorry but zevran and fenris are Very Different

[frunbuns]

I just finished reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, here are some quotes I saved bc this book shook me to my core

Spoilers!!

-

He'd convinced himself that his wanting me was my fault.

And I believed him.

-

Be wary of men with something to prove.

-

"It's on the house," he said, which I thought was the dumbest thing, because if there's anyone that should be getting free food, it isn't rich people.

-

"Heartbreak is loss, divorce is just a piece of paper."

-

People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'You're safe with me' - that's intimacy.

-

"[...] I'm bisexual. Don't ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box, Monique. Don't do that."

-

You do not know how fast you have been running, how hard you have been working, how truly exhausted you are, until someone stands behind you and says, “It’s OK, you can fall down now. I’ll catch you.”

-

"Evelyn?" Harry said, before getting off the phone.

"Yes?"

"You know what's happening, right?"

"What?"

"You're about to become the highest-paid actress in Hollywood."

-

[...] I have no idea that in less than a week, Evelyn will finish her story, and I'll find out what this has all been about, and I will hate her so much that I'll be truly afraid I might kill her.

-

"Can you believe it?" She said. "Two of them."

"You deserve them. The whole world should be giving you an Oscar every day, as far as I'm concerned."

-

[...] That seemed to be her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a straight woman when she hated me.

-

People were just starting to talk about the idea of bisexuality, but I'm not sure I even understood that the word referred to me then. I wasn't interested in finding a label for what I already knew. I loved men. I loved Celia. I was OK with that.

-

"If you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you."

-

"You love me?" she said

"Oh, my God, what an understatement," I told her.

-

"To Evelyn," she said, lifting her glass in the air. "Who has lit up every goddamn room she ever walked into. And who, day after day, makes us feel like we're living in a dream."

-

It's always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that us beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly.

-

It was one of the last times we were all together, laughing smiling, happy. A family.

Because after that, I ruined it.

-

"Being bisexual didn't make me disloyal," Evelyn said. "One has nothing to do with the other. Nor did it mean that Celia could only fulfill half my needs."

-

"I'm not a good person, Monique. Make sure, in the book, that that's clear. That I'm not claiming to be good. That I did a lot of things that hurt other people, and I would do them over again if I had to."

-

And just as she was about to leave the microphone, she said, “And to anyone tempted to kiss the TV tonight, please don’t chip your tooth.”

-

"[...] I don't want to let you love me if you don't think you can lose me again. One last time."

-

"I have been married seven times, and never once has it felt as right as this. I think that loving you has been the truest thing about me."

-

The devastating luxury of panic overtook me.

And it has never left.

-

That's how my story ends. With the loss of everyone I have ever loved. With me, in a big, beautiful Upper East Side apartment, missing everyone who ever meant anything to me.

-

Evelyn was never going to let the thing that made her be the thing to destroy her. She was never going to let anything, even a part of her body, have that sort of power.

Evelyn is going to die when she wants to.

And she wants to die now.

-

I hate Evelyn, but I think I like her very much.

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki: Why so far it had been disappointing how the series has dealt with what the TVA had been doing

Right from when the series started I carried on the belief that what the TVA was doing was horrible, a mix between a Nazi regime and a fanatical cult down to the elements of police brutality, to the extermination and persecution of people they felt different and lesser, detrimental for their own self being all out of blind faith to something they were indoctrinated into.

I was expecting a serious analysis of this from the show since Waldron seemed to be so enthusiast of the TVA as it was his creature

“The TVA is just an entirely new world [with] a new cast of characters, and that’s what felt most exciting about the show: building a new corner of the MCU.’ What if this was the best show ever?’ I think that was literally my pitch. My pitch for the show was kind of a big, crazy, fun-time adventure.”

[‘Loki’ Writer Michael Waldron On Building ‘A New Corner Of The MCU’]

References to the TVA being bad needed to wait till Ep. 3 “Lamentis 1” and where just two lines:

Sylvie: So, naturally you went to work for the boring, oppressive time police. [Ep 3]

Sylvie: It must have started when I spent my entire life running from the omniscient fascists you work for. [Ep 3]

More than focusing on how horrid the TVA is, both sentences criticize Loki for cooperating with the TVA even if he was forced into it as he couldn’t escape, cooperating with them was his only way to survive, the implication being he should have taken the hero route and die instead than accept to join forces with the TVA.

Mind you, it could have been an interesting angle to look at. How people can embrace terrible things in order to survive. After all we saw Loki cooperating with Thanos under the promise if he were to fail recovering the Tesseract death would be a preferable option than failure.

THE OTHER: You will have your war, Asgardian. If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.

The series could have drawn parallels from both situations, either making a point one should never bent or that sometimes you can’t do anything else but bent because not everyone is born as a hero, or because you’re just waiting for a time in which you can oppose as sometimes getting heroically killed for your ideals can be also very unproductive.

But no, it’s not this series.

Loki will maintain he accepted to work with the TVA not because his other option was being killed (something that’s remarked more than once), but because he wanted to get to the Time-Keepers to steal their powers or something like that. If he’s lying to himself to cope with the situation that’s not a problem the series pose to itself as the series seem to embrace this explanation even if it made clear Loki would be reset if he didn’t cooperate.

Episode 3 also introduces the idea that people at the TVA works under a false belief. They think they were created by the Time-Keepers but in truth they are brainwashed Variants they kidnapped from their timelines.

Okay, it was another possible interesting route. Loki was a Frost Giant raised on the idea he was an Asgardian, there could be a parallel here… though one that, for the TVA, was less interesting.

The TVA members are enthusiastic believers. Most of them show no empathy toward the Variants, no pity. They belittle and humiliate them, handle them as beings with no rights, punish them for not obeying rules they didn’t know existed in the first place. Feelings rage from enjoying doing it to just doing it the way a boot steps over a ant to use a familiar metaphor.

The fact that in episode 4 B-15, after discovering the truth, will go: ‘I looked happy (in my previous life)!’ doesn’t really make me feel very sorry for her on an intellectual plan.

Yes, what the TVA did to B-15 was wrong, but what about what she did to others without a single remorse? Enjoying her work?

But, whatever, not everyone on the TVA seemed to belittle Variants, in ep 1 & 2 Mobius showed some form of pity for them, not enough it’ll stop him but enough we can think he didn’t enjoy what was being done to the Variants so knowing how he’ll react could be interesting, couldn’t it?

We reach Ep. 4 “Nexus Event”.

While we see the TVA did to a child version of Sylvie what they did to Loki and this time there isn’t any ounce of doubt that it wasn’t fun, this isn’t really used to throw shades at the TVA but to underline how Sylvie’s life was miserable.

Sylvie: I remember Asgard. Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. And as soon as that created a big enough detour from the Sacred Timeline, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me prisoner. I was just a child. I escaped. Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a nexus event. Sent up a smoke flare. Because I'm not supposed to exist. Until, eventually, I figured out where to hide. And so that's where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds. ( /Scoffs/ ) Now... that's where I'll die.

Thanks to the TVA, so it’s possible to make the connection that if Sylvie was in pain due to the TVA the TVA is a bad guy, but it’s again left vague.

In an episode that feel the need to have Loki define himself as a ‘horrible person’ and a ‘narcissist’, that calls him ‘an asshole and a bad friend’ using ‘a cockroach's survival mechanism’ when he actually says the truth and how he is a ‘conniving, craven, pathetic worm’ who should know he ‘deserve to be alone and always will be’ let’s not talk about how terrible the TVA is.

After all, according to the previous episode they’re just ‘boring, oppressive, omniscient fascists’. Nothing big.

And it’s nothing big, really.

C-20, B-15 and even Mobius, once discovering the truth are solely concerned about how the TVA lied to them, not of how they had been the TVA accomplices into wiping countless lives from existence.

Hunter B-15: I looked happy. What now?

Hunter C-20: "Calm down"? I'm a Variant. So are you. So is every single person in this place. I'm ending this.

Mobius: You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.

They don’t care about what they had done with the TVA, they are okay with burning the place merely because the TVA has wronged them. But okay, maybe they need time to elaborate, to realize the implication of what they���ve done.

For C-20, who was reset, there’s no more time but…

Hunter B-15: Why am I locked in here?

Renslayer: You freed the Variant. You were disloyal to the TVA.

Hunter B-15: Disloyal?

Renslayer: Did you think you'd escape punishment for that?

Hunter B-15: Disloyal to who? You were in the Time-Keepers' chambers. They weren't real.

Renslayer: And why does that change anything?

Hunter B-15: That changes everything! The people need to know the truth.

Actually what the people need prior to that is to stop. Stop pruning other existences who’re exactly the same as their own. The biggest problem, the biggest CRIME isn’t that the TVA has done TO THEM, as, in doing so, it has at least spared their lives, it’s that they had killed countless galaxies and continue doing so.

So we move to Mobius.

I… I really don’t get what the series wants to do with Mobius. Although he wasn’t perfect, he seemed a decent guy in episode 1 & 2, one that wouldn’t enjoy hurting or scaring Variants without a reason. Yes he believed they needed to be eliminated… but didn’t enjoy doing it.

Yes, the way he ‘interrogated’ Loki in episode 1 was bad… but he believed he was doing only his work, that interrogation might have a point, some of the things he said weren’t meant to be just verbally abusive for the sake of it but were part of his ‘credo’ in which people had to follow the path of the sacred timeline and a side of him might have felt sympathy or pity for him. Although he knew it was risky he wanted to have faith in Loki.

Episode 4 tossed all that away with the worst interrogation scene possible. It contained gratuitous beating, psychological abuse/manipulation, derogatory comments, pointless questions while Mobius defined himself as Loki’s friend in the same episode. That scene has no purpose if not to beat and belittle Loki. What’s worse, when Mobius discovers the truth and goes to Loki, instead than asking him how he feels after such a beating he asks him what he’s doing… and I won’t dig into the rest of the conversation because it’s horrid.

Mobius’ ideas of apology for what he has done to his supposed friend is:

Mobius: You were right, about the TVA. You were right from the beginning. And if you wanna save her, you need to trust me. Can we do that?

Loki: Yes.

Mobius: Okay. You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.

It was Mobius who told him differently. Okay, he has acknowledged Loki was right and he was wrong but not that he had unfairly had him beaten for God knows how long for no reason. But okay, maybe Mobius too needed time to internalize all that, so let’s look at episode 5.

Let’s face it, no, what Mobius did to Loki won’t come up again with Loki, Sylvie will merely tell Loki (and to us) Mobius ‘isn't so bad’ and that he cares about Loki. Loki will counter Mobius isn’t so good either but that’s why he gets along with him.

I… I’m not sure what the series is trying to do at this point with Mobius, all we get about what he did with the Variants in Episode 5 is this.

Mobius: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys.

Sylvie: Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff.

Mobius: Well, I guess when you think the ends justify the means, there's not much you won't do. By the way, you did some annihilating too.

Sylvie: I did what I had to do.

Mobius: Yeah, so did I.

Sylvie: You hunted me like a dog.

Mobius: I'm sorry about that.

Mobius admits they weren’t the good guys, which would be great if it wasn’t for the fact the moment Sylvie points out how he was dumb at not realizing it sooner because we finally are told that the TVA is responsible for ‘Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls’, Mobius defends his actions!

The ends justify the means, you did some annihilating too, I did what I had to do.

Hey, news flash, no, those aren’t excuses. This is not a game about who annihilated more make penitence and anyway, if this was the case, the TVA wins. You killed countless people and now you’re complaining you aren’t a hero? That others are bad too? That you were forced to do it when you were a willing believer that refused to question things even though Loki immediately pointed out how it all was dumb?

Mobius: Odin, God of the Heavens. Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars. Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...

Loki: It's not the same. It's completely different. No. It's not the same.

Mobius: It's exactly the same thing. Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose. Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

It took Sylvie remarking he hunted her like a animal to finally get him to apologize on something… and she’s the only one he apologizes to.

We don’t hear him apologizing to the other Loki Variants and this is his new glorious purpose:

Kid Loki: Mobius, assuming you do get back to the TVA, what exactly are you getting yourself into?

Mobius: I don't know. I'd like to let people know the truth.

Again it seems the biggest deal is the TVA lied to them and took them away from their lives, not that they pruned countless others without a care.

There’s no self reflection, there’s no horror for what they had done to the other Variants who were just like them.

When Kid Loki and Classic Loki say they’ll remain there because that’s their home he doesn’t counter ‘no, this isn’t and I’m sorry we let you believe this.’ It’s Loki who worries for them, pointing out the dangers of the place. Mobius, who’s either directly responsible or connected to the one responsible for them ending there and losing their whole world, says nothing.

So his sympathy toward the Variants, his pity… was it all fake?

Doesn’t he care anymore? This is the road the story decided to go with him?

Since Mobius has gained popularity into the fandom thanks to the first 2 episodes, to Owen Wilson and to those who shipped him with Loki, let’s strip him of what really made him great, the fact he didn’t enjoy mistreating the Variants and turns him into someone who doesn’t care?

What next, is he going to become the new villain?

Damn it, this series started with a full episode questioning what Loki did in New York, pointing out how Loki’s belief ‘he would make it easy for humans’ because ‘freedom is a lie’ is an idiocy, how he was just a murderer and asking him if he enjoyed hurting people and making him say that no, he didn’t that he was bad, that he was a narcissist and yadda, yadda, yadda, then it turns out Mobius annihilated entire realities, orphaning little girls, all because freedom is a lie and we’ve all to do what the Time-Keepers decided and let’s have the guy you call friend beaten up at random for no good reason and… and that’s what we get?

That he rebels to the Time-Keepers because they had dared to lie TO HIM about not having created him?

Is the series trying to make a point about how people at the TVA can accuse Loki of not being good but they’re actually worse because they did much worse and didn’t care at all about their victims?

Is it a critic to society, that find easy to criticize someone but can’t admit they do worse? Won’t even see they’re doing worse and would resent instead for any little slight done to them?

It would be an interesting theme… the problem is it doesn’t seem to be the goal of the series as it tends to overlook the TVA, its fascist behaviour and the annihilation of civilizations at the hands of willing, albeit indoctrinated members, to focus more on how the TVA wronged solely Sylvie (her complain about her being orphaned is more about HER being orphaned than about HER PARENTS having been killed) and the TVA members.

It’s fair to see the TVA members as victims… they are… but what about the other Variants who got erased? What about how the TVA members had been complicit in said elimination, enjoying it, gratuitously mistreating and belittling Variants before eliminating them?

Is it just up to us viewers realize it because the story isn’t going to do the work for us?

I don’t know. I hope the last episode will do something to fix this.

There’s still an episode after all and maybe I’m worrying over nothing, maybe someone, Mobius preferably because I want to go back considering him a decent guy, not perfect because nobody is perfect but decent, and I don’t like what episode 4 has done with him, will regret what was done to way too many people by the ones who were working at the TVA.

I’ll be fine if they still need to internalize what they had done... but I’d like for them to be done internalizing before the series ends because otherwise it’s just skipping over the whole topic.

So... I’ll try to keep hopeful. Maybe they won’t disappoint me.

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Jin Guangyao's Violation of 忠孝仁义

So I had written about WWX and his strong sense of 忠孝仁义 last week. While I was writing it, I kept on thinking about JGY and how he managed to violate all of these virtues. I wanted to go into this characterization of him because I find it so interesting how opposite he is to WWX in the decisions he made. (Warning: i’m not nice to JGY here so if you don’t want him dragged, don’t read?)

忠- loyalty, devotion, fidelity (usually for country or monarch)

(Can I take a moment to talk about how much I LOVE THIS SHOT?! The blood of WRH on the camera lens, WRH falling over, the sudden shift to brightness that mirrors the scene in ep 50 where JGY obscures the sun in his bow (picture above the read more cut)! I can’t get over how much I LOVE the lighting and the way WRH collapses, making way for JGY to become the new sun. Foreshadowing much CQL Crew?!)

This one might be a stretch depending on how you read JGY. I fully believe he went to work for Wen Ruohan as Wen Zhuliu did -- seeking someone who will value his skills. However, WZL died for WRH and JGY just bided his time. (Note: While we know very little about Wen Zhuliu, we know he was at least 忠 and 义. He died for WRH and Wen Chao and refused to let WC desecrate Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s bodies. For that, I have to give him respect. He, despite everything, still had that jianghu sense of 义. Also, the man can count. And knows what a golden core feels like.)

So we know JGY gave Lan Xichen the maps, but he also lured them to Nightless City where the puppets were waiting. Had WWX not brought out the Stygian Tiger Amulet, would JGY have murdered WRH? Or would he have stayed in the shadows forever? As a viewer I have no idea what JGY is thinking, what he’s doing, or what he’s hoping for. He hides so well his intentions that there is debate about if he really was helping with the Sunshot Campaign or not! That isn’t something you can say about someone with loyalty. 

What upsets me further is that Nie Mingjie, having been JGY’s superior officer, sees JGY more clearly than LXC can. NMJ has seen JGY murder and has seen the level of self-serving vindictiveness JGY is capable of. In the case of the Sunshot Campaign, this self-serving attitude made JGY become a double agent uncommitted to either side. Too bad NMJ could not convince LXC of JGY’s duplicity. I���m gonna blame those dimples. 

The fact that we do not know JGY’s intent really shows his lack of 忠. If You Stand For Nothing, JGY, What Will You Fall For? (Answer: Himself and that is not 忠)

孝 - filial piety (deference to your lineage)

So for 孝, you’re supposed to respect your parents, honor your parents, and defer to your parents. What are you not supposed to do? Kill you father. That’s what.

So this should’ve been a really short section because that’s pretty cut and dry. But I want to look at what JGY says to JGS when JGY brings in Sisi and the other women. 

(He’s so creepy in this picture! *shudders*)

“父亲,我给你找来了你最爱的女人. 有很多个. 你高兴吗?”

“Father, I have brought you your favorite -- women. There are many. Are you happy?”

(Translation note: you can translate the line as your favorite women or your favorite -- women. I chose to translate it as the latter due to the context.)

First of all, the tone. JGY’s voice is breathy. I can almost hear a smile. He has zero moral qualms about this. He addresses his father as father, not dad or anything close. But he does acknowledge that relationship. And then he says he’s brought JGS’s favorite. There’s a slight emphasis on the favorite there. And it’s creepy. JGY adds the next line and goose bumps start to form on my skin. He knows his father’s sins and he’s punishing his father with it. Why are you doing this JGY?! And at the end, when it asks “Are you happy?” his voice is so sinister I want to scream. JGY clearly knows what he’s doing. He knows exactly what it means to be 孝 and chooses to make a mockery of 孝, to make a mockery of his father, and to kill his father. 

And then, after he watches JGS die, he tells Sisi and the other women to continue -- to desecrate JGS’s body. This is about as un-孝 as one can get! Remember, WWX and JC were willing to die to get JFM and YZY’s bodies back so they could be cremated and honored. The difference here is night and day! Yes, JGY was very good to his mother, including building a Guanyin Statue in her likeness and sparing Sisi who was a friend of his mother’s, but I cannot get over how much of an abomination he was toward JGS (even if JGS deserved an awful death).

仁 - benevolence, humanity, love of man

JGY has no 仁. Does JGY love anyone other than himself? Maybe his mom. (He might have some 仁 towards Su Sh*t She but that’s only suggested by the last couple of episodes.) That’s really it. He might have loved Jin Ling as his nephew. He might have loved LXC for LXC’s kindness and brotherhood. He might have loved Qin Su as whatever relationship he thinks they had. But when push comes to shove, JGY has zero benevolence towards anyone. He’s willing to kill Qin Su, take Jin Ling hostage, and take LXC hostage. (He also has no 义 but that’s the next section!)

And there’s ep 23. When LXC, JGS, and NMJ were discussing what to do with the Wens,  JGY suggested the Wens be imprisoned at QiongQi Path. Since WRH had ordered the slaughter of multiple clans, including the Jiangs at Lotus Pier, doing the same to him would not be considered unreasonable. Ruthless, yes, but a good show of might and order. This acceptance of murder is due to the concept of 诛九族. 诛九族 (zhū jiǔ zú) is one of the most severe punishments in ancient China. The character breakdown makes it fairly self explanatory:

诛 - to execute, kill, put to death

九 - nine

族 - family, clan,ethnic group, or tribe

诛九族 condemns you and your entire family to death (Depending on the source, some say it’s you + 8 types of relatives. Some say it’s everyone related to you from 4 generations above to 4 generations below).

By suggesting the Wen remnants be imprisoned and not slaughtered, JGY presented himself as 仁. However, by turning around and slaughtering the people per JGS’s wishes, JGY knowingly chose the immoral path where blood flowed like rivers. 

(Also! The way this shot pans down makes me think about how JGY is descending into a hell of his own making...)

义-  righteousness and code of brotherhood

Good god, 义. I have so many feelings about 义. Let’s start with some history because CONTEXT is so important. So when you ask a chinese person on the street to give you an example of 义, I’m willing to bet one of the most common answers you will get is 桃园结义 (tao yuan jie yi, or peach garden/grove establishment of brotherhood). This is THE story of fraternal love between non-blood related men. 

So quick and dirty synopsis of 桃园结义 and the three kingdoms story (I actually haven’t read it and it’s been a while since I actually tried to figure out the plot… so hopefully this is all correct!). Three men (刘备、关羽、张飞/ Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei) met on the streets, fought each other, became besties, and decided to start a rebellion. They took over one third of the country with the oldest (刘备) being the monarch and the other two working at his side (a little Yunmeng bros feel there, right? You’ll be the leader, I’ll be your right hand man). And they died for each other. 关羽 was the first to go. To seek revenge, 张飞 worked his men to the rebellion. Two of 张飞’s subordinates ultimately decapitated him while he was sleeping and brought it to their enemy. 张飞’s head and body are buried in two different cities in China (doesn’t this make you think of NMJ’s fate? Because it did when I was thinking about this and I wanted to cry. Also, 张飞 started out as a butcher. SERIOUSLY CQL/MDZS, can we pretend to be SUBTLE!?). 刘备 continued seeking revenge. Prior to 关羽’s death, the three kingdoms were in semi-equilibrium where the two smaller ones were allied against the larger. However, 关羽 being killed by their kinda-ally destroyed the delicate balance between the three kingdoms. 刘备 could’ve tried to make peace but he wasn’t going to let his sworn brother’s murder go unavenged. They all died in the end but with honor and brotherhood intact. 刘备 and 张飞’s determination to avenge 关羽’s death epitomizes the virtue of 义. They are willing to die for eachother. 

In CQL the parallelism to the 桃园结义 imagery is obvious to anyone who has a cultural background that screams Romance of Three Kingdoms at you. Let’s take a look, ok?  

A quick Google image search yields these images (I couldn’t choose): 

You know what they look like? This (from ep 40): 

You know what 桃园结义 looks like when mainland China made a live action? This: 

And you know what that reminds me of in CQL (ep 23)? 

Are you freaking out now about the visual parallels? Ok. Good. Because we’re moving onto a tiny bit of text comparison because i’m excited and i can. 

Per Romance of Three Kingdoms (note: historically inspired novel, not history), 刘备、关羽、张飞 swore the following oath: 

“念刘备、关羽、张飞，

Hope that Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei

虽然异姓，既结为兄弟，

Even though we have different last names,since we have sworn to be brothers

则同心协力，救困扶危；

Then let us unite our hearts and efforts towards helping the needy

上报国家，下安黎庶。

Repaying our country, bringing peace to the people.

不求同年同月同日生，

We do not ask to be born on the same day of the same month of the same year

只愿同年同月同日死。

But hope to die on the same day of the same month of the same year

皇天后土，实鉴此心，

Heaven and earth, verify our hearts

背义忘恩，天人共戮！”

If we turn our backs to righteousness and forget charity, may we be slaughtered by all. 

Now, let’s look at the oath said by the 3zun:

“神明在上。

Brilliant gods above, 

今日我兄弟三人在此立下重誓，

Today, we three brothers swear a solemn oath here 

上报仙门，下安黎庶 ， 

To repay our cultivation sects, To bring peace to the people.

天地同证，如有异心，

Heaven and earth be our witnesses. If we become disloyal, 

千夫所指，天人共怒”

May a thousand men point their fingers at us and may we be incite the anger of all

Even some of the wording is verbatim. The parts I bolded are what I was excited by since they’re either parallel or verbatim. 

The first set of lines: 上报国家，下安黎庶 and 上报仙门，下安黎庶 . (Remember when I guessed in my WWX post that since there are no countries, the cultivation sects are the target of 忠? This is my proof that I was right!) My hubris aside, this is the part of their oath where they swear to be both 忠 and 仁 together. The wording is verbatim except for the part that doesn’t apply to the CQL universe! 

The second set of lines: 天人共戮 vs 天人共怒. The sentence/phrase format and message is identical-- betray this oath and incur wrath.  (I can’t help but headcanon NMJ wanted to say 天人共戮 because it’s so much more metal but JGY was like, that’s really severe and convinced LXC to side with him to get it changed.)

Even the structure of the oaths are similar. Both oaths start with an introduction (we are three who want to be brothers), both oaths ask the heaven and earth to see them (Heaven and earth, verify our hearts & heaven and earth be our witnesses), and both oaths call upon the wrath of the people for vindication in case of betrayal. The CQL version is an abridged version of the three kingdoms oath and the writers set that up along with all the imagery because they want us to be constantly thinking about the three kingdoms bros and their amazing “even after death we’re still brothers” sense of 义.  They want us to compare JGY’s 义 with that 义 and find JGY lacking. 

The obvious betrayal of 义 is NMJ’s death.  Not only is JGY the cause of NMJ’s death, he butchers (i’m cringing at my own pun... but it’s so accurate) NMJ’s body so that NMJ’s spirit cannot rest. 

But, to me, what JGY does to LXC is betrayal on par with what he does to NMJ (and not dissimilar to what Xue Yang does to Xiao Xingchen). As we went over in the section about 仁, JGY says one thing so that LXC suggest JGY handles the matter. When everyone leaves, JGY does the un-仁 thing, essentially with LXC’s blessing. JGY kills NMJ but he does it by asking LXC to teach him how to play guqin. LXC becomes an unknowing accomplice (like XXC who becomes the killer of tongueless victims of corpse poison). 

So remember in my WWX post how I said WWX took on what he perceived as JC’s debts so JC doesn’t end up 不仁不义? JGY says one thing and does another in front of LXC. He knows LXC cares deeply about being righteous and kind. He knows LXC wants to do good. And he leads LXC down a path of self doubt and regret. LXC ends up teaching JGY the techniques that kill NMJ. LXC lets JGY handle the Wen remnants. Thus, unlike WWX who tries to absolve JC, JGY intentionally puts LXC into the position of 不仁不义. 

Can WWX and JGY be more diametrically opposed (foes)?

[westiec]

fic I want to see: five futures Tony/Rhodey/Pepper deserved but never got

Hey there friend! I'm going to take advantage of the @goodintentionswipfest to finally answer this ask by posting what exists of the fic I totally never finished writing you for this prompt before I burned out real hard on writing last year. Hope you get a little bit of fun out of what's here. <3

1 - MIT meet, 100% less drama

Tony meets James-call-me-Rhodey Rhodes at MIT. In other universes, they were on campus at the same time, but the whiz kid playboy tearing up the mech-e department and local bar scene seldom crossed paths with the steady grad student getting a masters in aircraft design courtesy of the Air Force. 

In this one, they are inseparable. 

Rhodey's got a way of following his train of thought that Tony's never encountered, and his intuitive understanding of flying machines outstrips Tony's own. (Tony is determined to catch up, but Rhodey never makes him feel bad for having to. Entirely unlike Howard, he thinks, and feels disloyal for the thought.) They bounce ideas off each other and make each other sharper, better, and it's a feeling of belonging Tony never expected to find. When they build an AI - a Turing-complete AI!! - Tony jokes about them becoming parents without ever going on a date, and the look of wistful fondness on Rhodey's face is all the encouragement he needs to finally ask him on one. 

After graduation, Tony owes years to SI and Rhodey owes years to Uncle Sam, but they keep in close touch, with plans to go into business for themselves one day. Times being what they are, no one asks, and no one tells, but he and Rhodey both know that the much publicized dates with various eligible ladies are for maintaining appearances and nothing that will really come between them.

When Howard and Maria die, Rhodey must cash in every favor he has to get the leave, but he's there for the funeral. Tony is pretty sure his steadfast support is the only reason he could stand to be sober those first couple weeks. Stark men are supposed to be made of iron, but Rhodey's always been the one with a core of steel. 

Rhodey never trusts Obie much, and - continued relationship with Tony notwithstanding - Rhodey is an impeccable judge of character. A few years later, an internal audit proves his instincts right when Stane is caught laundering company assets to sell weapons on the black market. Terrified at the thought of his weapons in the wrong hands, Tony quietly begins to diversify SI's business model - clean energy, healthcare, [THIRD THING] - things that can build the world up instead of tear it down.

Eventually Tony is able to hire Rhodey away from the military to be his chief airframe designer and personal test pilot. They move out to California to oversee the autonomous search-and-rescue drones they're developing, and set up in a preposterous mansion overlooking the ocean in Malibu, with their ever growing family of bots and JARVIS to make the huge place feel full.

Despite having no qualms shout their personal AI butler and robotic lab assistants, Rhodey calls him bougie when Tony brings on a driver, Harold-call-me-Happy Hogan, and a personal assistant, one Ms. Virginia Potts. Happy's a solid driver and a cheerful guy, but Ms. Potts is a downright revelation. She's the second person he's met now who has no trouble keeping up with his mile-a-minute mind, and though her competencies lie along a different line than his or Rhodey's, he quickly realizes they are no less remarkable. He also plain likes her in an easy way he so seldom clicks with people. Tony might be a little bit smitten.

After a while he realizes Ms. Potts-call-me-Pepper (and seriously, did Tony miss a memo on alliterative nicknames?) seems smitten too, though not with him. Rhodey's no longer active duty, but old habits of discretion die hard, so she has no way of knowing when she strikes up a flirtation with the airman that he and her boss are more than just business partners. Rhodey's flustered, and Pepper's embarrassed, but Tony's always had a big heart, and he loves nothing quite so much as making the people he cares about happy. He can see the way his honeybear smiles when she's around, and it's obvious how much she lights up with him, and he's a genius, right, but he doesn't need to be to see that they'd work. So he tells them to go for it, as long as Pepper doesn't mind sharing and Rhodey doesn't mind being shared, and they look at him like he's grown a second head because what they want is all of them together.

They totally work.

2 - IM1, BUT HAPPIER?

They meet when Lt. Rhodes is assigned the Air Force liason to Stark Industries. Warned in advance, Rhodey was expecting brash, crass, and totally out of control, but what he found in Stark, Jr. was someone with a passion for machines and an excitement for invention unlike anyone he's ever met. When they realize they'd been on campus at the same time, Tony (“please, Mr. Stark was my father”) declares them the Brass Rat Pack, which makes him roll his eyes, but doesn't make a Sammy Davis, Jr. joke, which bumps him up a couple more points in Rhodey's estimation.

3 - IM2 BUT WITH SOME DAMN COMMUNICATION 

Rhodey was always going to get a suit. Tony's best friend, the best pilot he knows, AND one of the few people in military he actually still trusts? Of course. He offered Pepper one too, but he seemed to expect her to turn him down, because then he offered her the position of CEO. Insisted, really. 

So Pepper becomes the head of Stark Industries while Tony and Rhodey become Iron Man and War Machine. The military brass doesn't love having one of those suits and all of their secrets in the hands and head, respectively, of such an unpredictable element, but knowing that Colonel Rhodes is liasing most of his activities goes a long way toward quieting the grumbles. The men's joint testimony on just how far off any imitators, foreign or domestic, are from duplicating the technology convinces Congress that Team Iron Man's op-sec, while unorthodox, is effective. 

Rhodey takes some well deserved R&R and joins Tony and Pepper in Monaco. It's new still, this thing between them all, but it's good. 

4 - POST-IM2

AVENGERS FAM DAMMIT

Aliens invade New York, and Rhodey is so glad he stole that damn suit. 

5 - POST-IM3

IN WHICH WE AVOID CIVIL WAR 

RESCUE HAPPENS

Rogers and Romanoff bring down SHIELD, and Pepper is horrified to realize how close she came to being murdered by the state. After Killian, after Extremis, she knows she could be considered a threat, but seeing her name, and Tony's, and Rhodey's, on the kill list in the data dump is chilling.

+1 - After Everyone Lives

"Meguna Petunia Stark-Potts-Rhodes, out of the lab and inside for dinner!"

Morgan laughed. "Not my name, Dad - and anyway, wouldn't it be Potts-Rhodes-Stark, alphabetically?"

"You know, you'd think that, but your pops actually called dibs on the anchor leg years ago…"

"A relay's got four legs, Dad."

"What did I ever do to deserve a jock for a daughter? Tell you what, find us a Q who doesn't run screaming, and we'll consider it."

"What are we considering, Tony?"

"Morgan thinks our polycule needs to be a quadrilateral, apparently, and I'm blaming the track team. I've told her we're only considering candidates with Q last names; we're so close to a straight."

"Tony, you've never been close to straight in your life."

Mom gestures at the two bickering and pleads, "Just not another guy, please, darling, I'm outnumbered already."

"I dunno, you usually like tha-"

"Tony!" Mom and Pops shoot him identical stern looks.

Family. She wouldn't want it any other way.

If anyone made it this far, thanks for reading! @allofthefeelings I'm sorry the full fic never made its way out of my brain, but thank you for the prompt anyway! And thanks again to the Good Intentions WIP Fest!

[seyaryminamoto]

"So… to answer your earlier question, no, I never stopped to think that maybe one day I'd fall in love with someone, and that I'd REGRET my encounters with those women BY THEN." Now I quoted right. This is a contradiction. There a some contradictions regarding this in your fanfic and answers. The same with having an erotic dream. He regrets it now. Because he didn't think he would fall in love with Azula.

I’ve likely said I’m done answering asks of this nature a thousand times. Hell knows why I’m bothering to do it now, but I really think it’s the last time I’ll bother, despite I ALREADY know that nothing I say will actually register in your head.

You refuse to accept any arguments I’ve presented to you, perhaps because you don’t bother reading my answers to give them actual thought, as you’re stuck in your perception of Sokka as some appalling, disloyal man despite the fact that he’s been 100% devoted to Azula since he first accepted his feelings for her properly (chapter 55). He has been with her, in-story, for about 2 years already, and he has never shown the slightest interest in any women besides Azula throughout those years.

But according to you, he’s the worst because he had one erotic dream about someone else before he had any sort of relationship with Azula, and because of his nightmarish experiences in Hui Yi.

Okay. My bad. You’ve finally convinced me of WHY I shouldn’t have panned over those two years in Hui Yi and jumped right in with the story I wanted to tell. Maybe if I had gone the show-don’t-tell route with that, despite I didn’t particularly want to, I wouldn’t be receiving asks like yours. And boy, I really would like that.

Warning: I’m really at my wits’ end. I thought to tone down my answer. I even did in many ways. But consider my patience tried, tested and broken, and if I sound far more aggressive and outraged than usual, it’s because I am. Please, learn from that, if you won’t learn from anything else.

So, apparently Gladiator’s Sokka must be some sort of terrible person, going by your fixation with this topic, and a bad love interest for Azula, because he doesn’t regret what happened in Hui Yi, in the classic sense of the word, right away. And I suppose you expect me to back down on this and say you’re right, oh no, he totally SHOULD have regretted it all along!

Well, the truth is, Sokka regrets one very specific thing all along: being stuck in a situation where he has no choices, where he has to live by the fucked up rules of someone like Huang Li. THAT is what he regrets. And NO, that is not a contradiction. I’m bluntly stating it. It’s a FACT. It’s something every last one of his recollections about Hui Yi is permeated with.

Why doesn’t he regret what he did with SEVEN, btw, SEVEN girls in Hui Yi? And I specify this because I suspect it was you who sent an ask about how it was ELEVEN? Checking 112, I find Sokka said in the middle of his explanations to Azula that eleven people survived: he’s talking about the GLADIATORS at that point, something that should be obvious by context, but apparently I have to waste hours of my time spelling things out one by one to anons, huh? That comment is NOT about how many people he was with, this is about the gladiators who had survived by the time Azula bought him off Huang Li. He outright told Azula the exact number of girls in the previous chapter, and she reached her own conclusions. That you (or whoever it was) misreads the chapters to this extent just to piss yourselves off further is proving how POINTLESS this entire debate is. You people (or you alone) don’t want to hear reason. You want to poke holes into the story that aren’t even there, to demand retribution from a fictional man who already went through hell on earth, just because he wasn’t 100% pure and untainted when he reached Azula’s bed. I’ve asked you to have empathy for his character before, clearly that you still send asks like these proves my request has gone to waste.

Well, let’s come back to the point: why doesn’t he regret it? BECAUSE OF THE FIRST WOMAN. Because of what happened to the one he outright put a stop to, because this wasn’t what he wanted, and the woman stopped indeed because she didn’t want to have sex with Sokka any more than he wanted it with her, and then they spent hours talking, and he offered her an emotional sort of comfort by being a decent guy who let her relax instead of forcing her to do things she wouldn’t want to...

AND THEN SHE GOT HER HAND CUT OFF FOR IT. AND SHE WAS TREATED AS A LESSER SLAVE AND HUMAN BEING BECAUSE OF IT.

According to you, upon hearing this story from the next girl who went for him, Sokka should’ve been like “Well damn, I do feel sorry for lady #1, the only person I’ve ever bonded with in Hui Yi, she’s been crippled for life and might even die from an infection for all I know, considering how damn hygienic Hui Yi has always been, but you see, lady #2, I must keep my body ~pure~ because one day I’m going to fall in love with someone and she won’t be with me if I was with sex slaves, despite I could ensure no other girls have to go through what lady #1 went through if I actually do sleep with you”. At least, that’s what I’m understanding out of your asks.

Well, great. Then he would’ve condemned this second girl to the exact same fate as the first :)

And the third :)

And however many there might have been :)

According to you, he should regret that he was with them right away, no matter if he actively felt like shit about what was going on, if it was the darkest period of his life: well, HERE is why he doesn’t regret it. Because if he HADN’T done it, those girls would’ve had it WORSE. The fact that I need to spell this out to you, in this way, is frankly ridiculous to me. You really could’ve reached that conclusion on your own if you had just TRIED, which makes me think you’re not trying at all. Anyone who’s old enough to read M-Rated fiction should be capable of connecting such basic, obvious dots. That you refuse to do it only to barge into my inbox demanding for me to explain every writing decision I make that you dislike, really doesn’t speak well of you.

So no, Sokka doesn’t REGRET what happened with those women right away because he was doing what he could to ensure they wouldn’t be tortured or maimed, at worst even KILLED, if it was discovered they hadn’t “fulfilled their duties”. Oh, but he would have been a damn great person if only he had decided to retain his “integrity” instead of saving innocent people’s lives, according to you...! :’D

Well, turns out if he had chosen to retain his integrity above all else, he probably would be dead by now. Because he wouldn’t have ever defeated a single gladiator in Hui Yi, not even the first one he fought, because he would have refused to kill anyone who wasn’t truly his enemy.

And there we go, story over :’) thank you for this glimpse into how short Gladiator would be if Aang was my protagonist. Very nice.

So of course, I suppose you’ll ask now why does he regret having done this years later, if he wasn’t sorry back then and his argument is so solid (not that you’ll think it is, why even imagine you would? Apparently sex slaves deserve to die, as far as I can understand of what you’ve said so far)? 

He regrets it now because, with that much distance between himself and what happened in Hui Yi, with that much time spent with someone he grew to love beyond he ever belived possible, he would MUCH RATHER have been a complete novice at everything and discovered everything about sex with her.

“Truth be told, I would have rather not been experienced at all… then again, if I hadn't been, our first time would have been a disaster, but… but it might have been worth all the more to learn all about this together, huh?”

He HATES that he had no choice but to go for it back then. He’s not proud of it in the least. If rejecting them wouldn’t have had such violent, catastrophic results, he would have always pushed them away. But he didn’t do that, AND he owns up to it in those chapters, even though he expects Azula will be as merciless as you appear to be and conclude he’s not worth her time anymore. Curiously, Azula actually understands that Sokka’s actions, especially those from BEFORE they were anything but enemies, back when he absolutely hated her, aren’t representative of who he is NOW. I can’t quite understand how that’s a concept that eludes you so badly, Anon.

Now, about the damn matter of him having an erotic dream about someone other than Azula, BEFORE having any about Azula (in case you didn’t notice, Sokka doesn’t tell June exactly WHEN he had this dream, so if you’re assuming it happened in recent times you’re basically only doing that to further rile up yourself against him? Which is, quite honestly, like shooting yourself in the foot): I take it you’ve never had any dreams in your life, have you, Anon? And I don’t mean erotic ones, I mean ANY dreams, whatsoever: can you control your dreams? Because if you can, boy, you’re pretty darn impressive! I’ve had some really ridiculous dreams, one that comes to mind was that I standing on a tight rope that I was suspended right above a waterfall, and I was about to fall. I was panicking like never before, despite the fact that, in real life, I’m not afraid of heights, I’ve never had any experiences with tight ropes and I think waterfalls are beautiful. And this is just ONE example, one very random example, of how dreams aren’t at all representative of a person’s true self.

Now then, please, tell me why on earth are you trying to hold this fictional man accountable for a completely random dream he had, BEFORE he had anything romantic with his love interest??? Can’t you tell how utterly unreasonable this is? It’s blowing me away that you’re not only clinging to this topic so badly, in this obsession to turn Sokka into some sort of monstrous, inadequate, terrible love interest for Azula, but that you’ve brought up this subject of him dreaming about one other woman in previous asks and submissions (that I didn’t answer because of how hard I facepalmed at them), as if it were ultimate proof of how untrustworthy he is. Normal people CAN’T control their dreams. Azula COULDN’T control her dream about Ursa back in Ember Island’s arc, she also couldn’t control the absolutely ridiculous dream she had in the Northern Air Temple, where she claims she’s carrying a baby for a friend! Are you going to come after her next, demanding that she is held accountable for having claimed she was carrying someone else’s fictional baby instead of proudly owning up to having a kid with the love of her life? Because, if you can tell that dream is just a pile of ridiculousness, I can’t see how you take this one of Sokka’s, which wasn’t even written because it was utterly irrelevant to the story, to mean ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY when said dream is explicitly said to have happened BEFORE he dreamt about Azula, which, once he wakes up, is what triggers his conscious, first real thoughts about Azula as a love interest!

*heavy breathing* Okay. Okay. That’s a lot to say. But I think I’m not done yet. I’m going to take advantage of this ask to quote a few things that have showed up in my inbox, that I didn’t reply to because I didn’t feel like it, plainly:

I wanted to know if Sokka would go the same way he did in the beginning with replacing Azula if she WOULD NOT be a princess?

... Why the hell is this even a question? The ENTIRE problem posed by Sokka and Azula’s relationship is that she IS a Princess and he’s a slave! Azula knows it! Sokka knows it! They both have thought and even outright said it countless times! How the heck does anyone, whether the same Anon as before or another one, if you were different people, read an ENTIRE story predicated on forbidden love between a Princess and a slave and not understand that the two main reasons these two SHOULDN’T want to be together, in the earliest arcs of the story, are:

She is RESPONSIBLE for turning him into a slave, which then caused him to spend 2 years suffering in what I THOUGHT was the worst possible depiction of the Fire Nation’s darkest tendencies but it apparently went over all your anon heads: he spent TWO YEARS holding the worst grudge against her for this, a grudge he still hasn’t completely let go of at chapter 28, hence why he continues to tell himself, back in those days, that he should hate her and why he doesn’t want to fall in love with her...

SHE IS A PRINCESS AND HE IS A SLAVE AND THERE’S NO WAY THEIR LOVE WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING UNLESS OZAI DIES, AZULA IS CROWNED AND SHE GETS TO MARRY HIM SO THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.

Seriously. It doesn’t take that much braining. It’s bloody stated constantly through the story. Will you people stop wondering why it’s important that she’s a Princess once we FINALLY reach Part 3 and the obvious consequences of their big romance are known? Or are you going to continue pretending there’s no reasons, whether characterization or world-building reasons, why these two have been keeping their relationship secret, and why the struggled that badly to cope with the feelings they developed for each other when they were in denial about it ages ago?

Anyways, if I really HAVE to answer this question, NO, if Sokka had started having feelings for a non-royal Azula and he didn’t think he’d ruin her life by acting on them, he wouldn’t have tried to flirt with Suki. He wouldn’t have slept with June. He wouldn’t have done any of the things he did in that arc, his reservations towards Azula wouldn’t be as strong as they are BECAUSE she’s a Princess, which means that being with her could outright cause her life to go to hell and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want that for Azula, even before he accepts his feelings for her. If he wouldn’t ruin her life, he probably would have been reluctant anyways due to their unresolved bad blood (point #1 up there?), but he wouldn’t have been so sure they CAN’T be together, so he wouldn’t even have flirted with Suki and this entire plot arc wouldn’t be necessary.

But that’s NOT the story we’re getting. Why? BECAUSE AZULA BEING A PRINCESS IS ESSENTIAL TO THE STORY??? I MEAN??? IS THIS REALLY SOMETHING I HAVE TO EXPLAIN??? SHE IS ONE IN CANON??? SHE IS ONE HERE??? WHY WOULDN’T SHE BE A PRINCESS???

... Dear god, have mercy on me. You really make me feel like I have devoted 7 years of my life to a huge waste of time if I can’t even get the most obvious plot points of the story across to you people.

One girl instance maybe but my shipper heart could never make Sokka get involved with SO MANY girls. 11? Will it keep growing?

This is the one Anon I was talking about earlier. Ha. Fucking HILARIOUS. Not only purposefully misunderstanding that it’s ELEVEN GIRLS, but asking if the number of girls Sokka will get involved with will increase beyond an already false number? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?

What does commitment mean to you, goddammit. What do you even think the word stands for? Seriously, if you were to fall in love with someone, and then it doesn’t work out, but you find a second person later who seems perfectly nice and everything you DO need... would you say “Oh no but I already soiled myself by loving someone else, I AM UNWORTHY OF YOU!!”, because you made a commitment in the past that didn’t pay off, which, for some fucked up reason beyond my understanding, means you can’t commit to someone new?

This is Disney Romance logic. Hell, Disney Romances are more complex than your thinking, actually! Anna from Frozen is ready to marry Hans, ends up realizing Hans was an asshole at the worst possible timing and goes for Kristoff later instead: are we going to stone her for not realizing Hans was the worst right away? How on EARTH could she commit to Kristoff now, when she had been ready to be with another guy BEFORE she even met him?!?!

Another example: Meg from Hercules! She falls for a guy, literally SELLS her soul to Hades for him, and the douchebag ditches her for another girl. At this point, Hercules (at least, film-wise) has been a perfectly pure virginal boy and he falls for Meg dorkily: IS MEG THE WORST WOMAN EVER, UNWORTHY OF HERCULES AND ALL HIS HARD WORK FOR HER, BECAUSE SHE ALREADY HAD LOVED ANOTHER GUY BEFORE HIM AND HERCULES DOESN’T HAVE AS MANY EXPERIENCES WITH LOVE AS SHE DOES???

Sounds extreme? Well, that is literally what that question sounds like to me, Anon.

People in this world get into as many relationships as they want to. People don’t always find love right away. People can fall in and out of love. People can have meaningless encounters with others just because they feel like it.

And even then, there’s a chance any of those people will eventually find someone they will be happy with, for good, for the rest of their lives! Why the HELL would their past have anything to do with their ability to commit to the “right” partner in the future? Commitment ISN’T about having no romances or relationships with anyone else until you found the right person: commitment is about THE RIGHT PERSON. It’s about CHOOSING that person, for good, for the rest of your life if that’s how you want it! If you’re “committed” to someone but all you ever do is look at how many people they were with before you, or thinking “he’s gonna cheat on me as soon as I tear my eyes off him”, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. IT’S NOT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, IT’S YOU. 

Because you don’t trust the guy! Because you refuse to believe his commitment to you is real! And hell, in some cases, maybe it’s not real! Maybe the person in question is going to cheat on you! But in some cases it is, and how the FUCK would you feel if you were in a relationship with someone who keeps assuming your love for them isn’t real? Someone who thinks your commitment to them is false because as soon as you find a better offer, you’ll go running and ditch them, no matter if you have said and proven you love them a thousand times? If that person kept trying to control who you’re friends with, who you talk to, if you’re close to anyone you COULD MAYBE HAVE any romantic history or attachment to? That’s fucking TOXIC. And that’s a thousand times worse than ANYTHING I’ve written between Azula and Sokka, just an FYI. I honestly despise how this shit has been romanticized often by newer generations, such as boyfriends or girlfriends going through their partner’s messages with other people to make sure they’re not being cheated on: this is sick. It’s stupid to be with someone if you’re CONSTANTLY SECOND-GUESSING YOUR RELATIONSHIP. FOR THAT MATTER, DON’T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.

And see, Azula hasn’t second-guessed Sokka in ages. She really hasn’t. After that conversation in 112, Azula UNDERSTOOD what I’ve been trying to tell you all along: Sokka’s past doesn’t determine his future. He often made mistakes, bad decisions, mostly making them as a consequence of the pain he has endured, but he’s making a constant effort to make the right decisions by Azula since AGES before they have this conversation. After June he has no other one-night-stands. He shows no real interest in any other girls. He outright begged Azula to help him get rid of his goddamn stalker, who HARASSED him and left her goddamn underwear in his bed (he bloody CHANGED the entire bed due to how disgusted he was by this behavior).

Please, explain: how the fuck you see a guy who has spent about 125 chapters conscisouly growing, developing and fully commiting himself to a girl as a guy who will cheat on her and have more relationships and find more girls?

Want me to come out with something you won’t see coming, dear Anon?

AZULA IS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPERIENCE WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN SOKKA IN THE FUTURE, EVEN AFTER HAVING COMMITTED FULLY TO HIM IN EVERY SENSE THAT COUNTS. THE CRIME YOU’RE SO DAMN AFRAID SOKKA WILL COMMIT? IT’LL BE AZULA COMMITTING IT, NOT HIM.

And in the mean time, Sokka won’t ever be with anyone but Azula until the time he dies :’) something I’ve ALREADY answered in many asks in the past.

Wow. Spoilers much? Well, you fucking asked for it. I’m so damn tired of this, Anon. I’m seriously, SERIOUSLY, tired of this. But I HAVE to keep going :’) because if I don’t? You’ll come back. And I really don’t want you to.

Why did you absolutely want to make Sokka sleep with someone different that day? From my get Sokka was already angry at Azula and the things would've been not any different if he wouldn't have done it. So why did you have the need to make him sleep with someone that badly when things wouldnt be any different. Only the falling into forest wouldve been a bit different. I can't see why this sleeping with someone was so neccessary. Why was it important for you?

Why did I absolutely want it? I didn’t. I actually didn’t. 

Here’s a funny secret: my beta at the time was the one to suggest Sokka could do this. I wasn’t exactly big on the idea, until the character of June popped in my head and I realized that actually might work within the story: she’s not only physically similar enough to Azula that I could get away with basically writing it as a Sokkla hate-sex scene until Sokka realizes it’s not her, but June is also a completely free-spirited character whose entire priorities in the world are money and her shirshu. That’s literally it. With a character like June? There was no need to worry about the unpleasant twists I often see in fics where the main couple aren’t together yet, and either one or both members of the couple go for other people until they finally choose to be together: June WASN’T going to fall in love with Sokka. She doesn’t give a flying fuck about him. She’s amused by the situation until she’s annoyed by him. Then she’s amused again when she connects the dots once she sees Azula and Sokka at the nasty town where they bump into each other. And she ONLY grows fond of Sokka at the same time as she grows fond of Azula: IN JEONG JEONG’S ARC :’) Before that? These two probably don’t even cross her mind outside of hearing occasional rumors about Azula, and then she probably just used to go “lol I wonder if she finally had the guts to make a move on him”. 

Hence, June was my ideal choice. She didn’t care. She doesn’t give a single fuck in 28. She’s just in it for her own amusement, for her own satisfaction. Anyone else? An OC, Suki, anyone else who could’ve crossed my mind? They might have actually developed feelings for Sokka. And I didn’t want THAT. Hence, I didn’t do that. I chose June because I wanted this to be a bad moment that would stay in the past with no chances of rekindling in the future.

Now, why did I follow suit with my beta’s suggestion? Because she was right about one thing, at the time: Sokka isn’t committed to Azula at this point. Sokka is furious upon thinking he’s fallen into Azula’s web and he refuses to play her game. That he ends up sleeping with someone else, and going to her that night, and shouting all the things he does, was Sokka’s attempt to defy Azula’s eagerness to control his life, which, yes, she is attempting to do just that. She’s developing feelings for him, sure, but she doesn’t want him to be free to choose because she’s SURE he won’t ever choose her. A main element in Azula’s Part 1 character development was meant to be about teaching Azula that upon building a real, honest bond with Sokka, he’d end up choosing her above everything else, WHICH, BY THE TIME SHE’S LEARNED TO GIVE HIM SUCH FREEDOM, HE DOES.

Sokka isn’t a perfect romance lead. I never planned for him to be that. I have written perfect romance leads! Fact is, Rui Shi is basically that, isn’t he? So I don’t even have to dig around to find an example. Sokka was NEVER meant to be perfect. And his starting point with Azula is DREADFUL. He is absolutely attracted to her physically, but his constant resisting of their attraction results in him making terrible mistakes that he has to own up to, AND HE DOES :’) Constantly. He doesn’t EVER force Azula to think she must be committed to him, because he doesn’t even feel worthy of her most the damn time! All of it, due to those mistakes he made! Azula outright has to tell him to forgive himself because he just won’t do it! :’D He’s even worse about this than you are, Anon, fancy that!

And why isn’t Sokka a perfect romance lead, even if I’ve done my very best in recent arcs to make him as romantic and caring and giving towards Azula as he possibly can be? Because I don’t care for writing a static, boring, simplistic story. I just don’t. There’s too much baggage, too much drama, too many things Sokka and Azula HAD to resolve before their relationship reached the heights it has.

So, sure, let’s imagine Sokka doesn’t sleep with June. Then, Azula doesn’t know he’s ever been with someone else, because he’s ashamed of what he HAD TO DO in Hui Yi and doesn’t want her to know about it anyhow: once she finds out about it, she’ll feel a thousand times more betrayed than she already did because she would have wrongfully assumed he was every bit as pure as she was. How NICE it would be if he hadn’t been with anyone that night! :’)

But let’s focus on the plot for a sec, will we? Forget about Xin Long: if Sokka hadn’t met June beforehand, and she doesn’t understand what’s up with Sokka and Azula, June won’t give a single crap about Azula’s plight and won’t tell her where the Rough Rhinos went :’) then, chances are the Rough Rhinos escape. And if the Rough Rhinos escape, Azula’s first big successful mission is a failure. She doesn’t get lost with Sokka in the forest, she doesn’t find her dragon, she fails her father and she probably won’t have many other opportunities to prove herself in the future. Iroh gets away with proving Azula can’t fulfill Ozai’s expectations, and probably uses this as leverage to convince more of Ozai’s court that Zuko is a better candidate for the throne, considering he’s already the firstborn child :’)

LOVELY, ISN’T IT??? :’)

Sokka wasn’t that angry until he does sleep with June, because by then he confirms what he already suspects: he can’t get Azula out of his mind, no matter what. His ENTIRE plan with June (and Suki) was to get involved with any other woman so he could get rid of his feelings for Azula by basically transferring them to someone else. To break free from Azula’s influence on him. Why? 

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO LOVE THE WOMAN WHO, EVEN IF INDIRECTLY, PUT HIM THROUGH THE HELL OF HUI YI. 

THE WOMAN WHO DRAGGED HIM AWAY FROM HOME. 

THE WOMAN WHO HOLDS HERSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG IN SOKKA’S LIFE, EVEN IF SOKKA HIMSELF WON’T HOLD HER ACCOUNTABLE FOR MOST OF THESE THINGS ANYMORE.

No, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to feel this way about Azula. They had been getting to know each other for a few months, sure! But half that process had been arguments and spats, clashes and problems that sometimes had terrible outcomes. Remember Azula was outright ready to ditch Sokka as her gladiator after his second fight? She was DETERMINED to do that, until she received a challenge by the Blind Bandit, and she took advantage of this challenge to TEST SOKKA. TO SEE IF HE HAD LEARNED HIS LESSON, ONLY FOR HIM TO END UP HALF-DEAD AS A RESULT.

Can’t you tell both of them made a thousand mistakes, ESPECIALLY at the start of the story? 

IT’S NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT’S DELIBERATE. I WANTED THEM TO MAKE THOSE MISTAKES! BECAUSE CHARACTERS WHO MAKE MISTAKES LEND THEMSELVES FOR BETTER STORIES!

I am sick to my core of the Internet’s purity bullshit of the past years. It’s disgusting to me. The fact that I’ve read there are writers out there who are outright whitewashing their own characters’s worst traits in major media content instead of working them out narratively? It makes me want to hurl. This is NOT quality storytelling. If you, as a writer, choose a setting with specific strife and difficult themes, you don’t get away with shirking off those themes and pretending they’re not there because “oh no, someone will be uncomfortable and I can’t possibly risk that!” You don’t write a character as racist on one season only to downplay the racism in later seasons, with no development needed, so that people won’t hate that character as much as they used to (that link is a specific, direct example of what I’m referring to, one that hopefully will explain why, when my characters fuck up, I do my best to make them 1. own up to it 2. learn from it 3. never make the same mistakes again :’) but I don’t even know if you’ll bother watching five minutes of an explanation, considering you’ll probably stopped reading my reply about 5K words ago).

Hence, I wrote Sokka making the mistakes he made DELIBERATELY. 100% KNOWINGLY. I knew there would be people uncomfortable with it: I’M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT! I don’t like this particular element of my story! But do I think it was necessary? YES. Because with the conflict triggered by BOTH Azula and Sokka’s mistakes during the earliest arcs of the story, their characters DEVELOP. They GROW. They CHANGE. Without such development, there’s NO WAY the story would be where it is now. And maybe you’d be fine with that, but I sure as fuck am not. Gladiator isn’t exempt of flaws, of course it’s not, and I have no delusions of the opposite, but what you’re so obsessed with isn’t necessarily a flaw, it’s merely something you personally disliked and that you can’t seem to get over!

Which... begs the question. It really does.

WHY ARE YOU READING A STORY THAT MAKES YOU SO UNCOMFORTABLE?

I thought making Sokka work for Azula’s forgiveness to such humiliating extent (she literally walks over him at one point? He keeps shrinking and wincing and being completely mild and meek around her because he’s that sorry for what he did? He virtually STARVES himself in the forest so Azula can eat because she’s the one that matters, not himself?) would somehow make people like you, and as far as I know, many others, realize that Sokka was genuinely sorry. That Sokka had finally understood where he’d gone wrong, and that he would never misunderstand Azula’s feelings and intentions that way again.

Clearly, I was the one who was wrong. Because yep, it’s not just you, there’s a ton of people out there who can’t seem to get over what Sokka did in those chapters, or what he did in Hui Yi. And you know, I really think it’s unfair? Both on the characters, and on me as the writer? Because it’s not like I swept things under a rug, like in that link I gave you up there: I put Sokka through the wringer constantly, in fact, to the point where I even have thought it was too much! And beyond that... Sokka meant to stay by Azula’s side as her gladiator and nothing more, at first. Once they finally talk things through, that’s what they’re determined to be: there’s still lingering feelings, but their plan is to NOT act on them. And yes, it’s true, Sokka has one slip-up when Azula helps him cope with his feelings in chapter 50! But that’s what it’s framed as: a slip-up. He was impulsive, unable to hold back the emotions that led him to kiss her, and she kisses him back until they both realized this WASN’T supposed to happen between them ever again. Then, Sokka looks after Azula while she’s sick, and all his protective instincts are triggered... to the point where he realizes he outright LOVES Azula.

And even then, Sokka doesn’t act on his feelings again until Ember Island, point at which he only acts on them to show Azula she is NOT the monster she thinks she is. He does it FOR HER. He outright refrains from taking their exchanges as far as he deeply wanted them to go, because this is NOT ABOUT HIM. He wanted to make sure Azula would feel better, that she would understand she’s only human, and that her worst sides don’t make her any less human than anyone else.

My point is: I didn’t make Sokka work as hard as he did because he thought he’d get it on with Azula if he earned her forgiveness. I didn’t make Sokka fall in love with Azula while thinking only of himself, his feelings, his needs, above hers: IT’S THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT. This guy is so in love with her he forgets himself with her, he’d die for her, hell, he’d even KILL for her, when one of Sokka’s biggest traumas EVER is about having to kill people. He doesn’t want to do that EVER AGAIN. And yet, if it’s for Azula’s sake, he will sacrifice his soul as many times as he must to keep her safe.

But the biggest thing I have to stress here? Sokka would have been willing to do every single one of those things for her even if Azula hadn’t wanted anything romantic to happen between them ever again.

If Azula had rejected him, kept him at bay, and the story had turned into an unbearable pining soap opera forevermore, Sokka would STILL do everything he has done for Azula. He wouldn’t expect her to love him back. He wouldn’t make demads of her in those regards. He would only love her as he does, because that’s what love is for this man. That’s what I developed him for. And if you don’t care to see it, Anon, that’s 100% on you, because I KNOW that’s what is there. You can’t simply take two instances of Sokka saying two stupid things and annul 188 chapters of Sokka developing into a man who would outright choose Azula OVER HIS OWN FAMILY. If you can’t understand the magnitude of this decision, how much it means for Sokka, SOKKA, to choose someone above his family? Above his people? Then you’ve got a real serious problem with grasping Sokka’s character. A very, very serious one. Probably since canon.

So... to finish off this particular subject: IT’S IMPORTANT FOR ME BECAUSE I WANT MY CHARACTERS TO GROW, CHANGE AND DEVELOP. AND THAT’S WHY I TOOK MY BETA UP ON THAT SUGGESTION AS I DID. I DON’T WANT MY CHARACTERS TO BE PERFECT RIGHT OFF THE BAT BECAUSE IT’S WRONG, IT’S BORING, IT’S NOT EVEN IC. IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME, AS A WRITER, TO WRITE ABOUT CHARACTERS WHO CAN DO NO WRONG AND WHO NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR WAYS. BOTH AZULA AND SOKKA HAVE HAD TO GROW A TON THROUGHOUT GLADIATOR, AND IF YOU CAN’T SEE SOKKA’S GROWTH FOR YOURSELF, I’M PRETTY DAMN SURE IT’S BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IT.

Sooo sick of people stories ALWAYS let men fuck be the lucky one and get the perfect woman who gives herself COMPLETELY to him. Then man says „its in the past I love you only" wtf? Sleep with others use it on Azula his 9th on the list. I respect you for being so strong and writing this as a girl. I get the crisis, so tired. Kudos Azula for letting herself in his arms so comfortably. I REALLY wish I could do this too. At least Suki and Song are lucky. Sorry for venting I'm just broken and stupid

I have no idea if this is you too. Maybe it is. But if not, I’m quoting it too, because why the fuck not. Why the fuck not.

I suppose I can at least commend this one for knowing Azula is the 9th rather than the 12th, huh? At least they read that much right.

To this Anon: please, stop venting about this to the writer who apparently disappointed you that badly for making a decision that is consistent with the situation the characters are in.

Frankly, I’m absolutely grossed out by the people who seem to think Azula, Princess Azula unto whom I’ve forced horrible purity societal pressures that ARE UNFAIR AND MAKE NO SENSE, AND SHE CONSTANTLY SAYS SO THROUGH THE STORY, should have had as many experiences as Sokka so that “they’re even”. The bloody audacity to look at what Sokka went through in Hui Yi and think “WELL BUT IT’S SEX SO AZULA SHOULD HAVE LOTS OF GUYS TOO!” completely BAFFLES me.

Literally, Azula’s ONLY experience before Sokka, AKA, CHAN, is a thousand times healthier and more genuine than ANYTHING Sokka ever went through. And nobody is fucking throwing a fit about that.

Why do I say this? :D

NOBODY WAS FORCING AZULA TO KISS CHAN. NOT IN CANON. NOT IN GLADIATOR

AZULA LIKED CHAN AND DELIBERATELY CHOSE TO GO FOR HIM BECAUSE SHE FELT LIKE IT. NO ONE WAS MAKING THIS CHOICE FOR HER.

AZULA WASN’T PRETENDING CHAN WAS SOMEONE ELSE WHILE SHE KISSED HIM. SHE WAS PERFECTLY FULFILLED BY KISSING A GUY FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT SHE WAS LOOKING FOR.

Meanwhile: Sokka is FORCED to be with the women in Hui Yi. Someone is going to outright either hurt or kill them if he doesn’t do it.

Meanwhile: Sokka didn’t necessarily like any of the women he was with, not the Hui Yi ones, not June. June merely wants mindless fucking, Sokka tells her from the start he doesn’t think it will work at all: IT DOESN’T. It’s JUNE being forward. At worst, Sokka can be blamed for not putting a harsh stop to June before anything happened. But he wasn’t even the one with the initiative: JUNE WAS. In Hui Yi, goes without saying, he didn’t get to choose, they basically would just go to him and he’d do what he had to do. The fucking end.

Meanwhile: Sokka was dead-like with June up until he lets himself imagine she’s Azula, the only way for him to actually go forward with what’s going on. Afterwards, HE’S APPALLED WITH HIMSELF. HE’S MISERABLE. HE’S UNHAPPY. 

Azula had the normal, nice, socially acceptable teenage experience of having a brief crush on a guy and trying to see if something would come from it: SOKKA HAS BEEN A SLAVE EVER SINCE CHAPTER 2. Their social positions are MILES apart. And, as free as Sokka is to fuck whoever he wants: HE DOESN’T CHOOSE, DELIBERATELY, TO DO SO. He only does it in Hui Yi and with June, and after realizing with June that this just won’t work because he won’t get Azula off his mind, HE DOESN’T SLEEP WITH ANYONE ELSE UNTIL HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH AZULA BEGINS.

You’re basically pretending that a slave, in the lowest of levels in society, lives his life freely without restraint, just as a girl at the top of the world can. They both have very specific problems: Azula is forced NOT to be with anyone until marriage, whether she wants someone or not, whereas Sokka ends up getting sex FORCED ON HIM. Completely, radically opposite sides of a spectrum that I’ve done my damnedest to build up believably and understandably. But all this just goes over your head, right? You’d much rather ignore and annul my entire fucking worldbuilding, just because it tickles you poorly that the guy in this story has more experience in sex than the girl. You’re throwing major themes in Gladiator out the window (Azula outright fighting to demand actual equality instead of the subtle, constant, undermining sexism the Fire Nation is permeated with), because it makes you personally uncomfortable for a girl to be a virgin and a guy not to be (despite, in this day and age, there’s A LOT of content in the world where characters involved are either perfectly virginal or equally promiscuous, and you could be enjoying that instead of reading Gladiator).

Newsflash: you’re just as bad as the people who demand virginity and purity from women if you demand it from men. 

Nobody is LESS or MORE of a person because of how many people they sleep with. NOBODY. This shouldn’t even have to be said. I can’t even believe that it NEEDS to be, but I’m saying it anyways. It’s absolutely STUPID to me that there’s readers out here that weigh everything in regards of how many people someone has been with. What sort of backwards mentality is this? 

By far, Gladiator-wise, NO ONE has slept with as many people as Ty Lee has. 

NO ONE.

Where’s the goddamn shitfest at Ty Lee for this? Haru had a few experiences before being with her, sure! But they were NOTHING compared to the amount Ty Lee had. Ty Lee did whatever the hell she wanted since her teenage years, with whoever she wanted, and she got away with it until she was caught. Then, Azula stepped in to help her avoid total social annihilation! :’D why?

BECAUSE IT SHOULDN’T MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE TY LEE HAS BEEN WITH. BECAUSE AZULA KNOWS TY LEE’S WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW “PURE” SHE MAY BE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

JUST AS AZULA’S OWN WORTH IS FAR AND BEYOND AND ABOVE THAT SHIT :’)

And god, it’s just so ridiculous! Soooo ridiculous! That I’m out here, writing a huge story that’s meant to feature, eventually, the big fallout resulting of the discovery of Azula’s long-gone purity, a fallout that Azula will be fighting against with all her might, trying to defend her right to live her life, to love whoever she wants, to defend her worth and value as a person and resist the traditionalistic oppressive tyranny of her own FATHER...!

And you’re out here, fucking shitting yourself in rage, because Sokka has had more sexual partners and experiences than Azula.

It’s fascinating for the whole POINT of the story to soar so far over your head that you just can’t even see it anymore. For you to be so hung up on stuff Sokka did between chapters 2-3 and in chapter 28, AND NOTHING MORE, as if THAT is what determines Sokka’s worth as a human being and as Azula’s partner. And damn, try as I might, I can’t make someone learn better if they’re stuck with this mentality because they truly believe that if you’ve had more partners you’re somehow worse than by having less. I can’t. It’s up to you people to get over this attitude, because I can’t do more to teach you human nuance and complexity than I already have. I’m too tired to try anymore.

And of course, writers shouldn’t have to defend their work as I’m defending mine now. I should probably just lie down and take the criticism I’m tossed without complaint, shouldn’t I? I mean, haha, I also got this Anon, so very considerately, saying:

Hello I am that anon who asked you the Sokka sleeping with someone question. I think you shouldn't stress or get angry and hurt when you get question about this matter. It is a big and questiniongly part of your story. No one can judge your talent or you but people can ask questions about this or can't they? Its just that it was not neccessary for some readers seems like.

Which, I think, is probably the first person all over again.

I SHOULDN’T get stressed or angry or hurt? Oh, wow. So, on top of everything, I can’t even have feelings. I’m supposed to be a fucking doormat :’) beautiful. I love it.

Have you taken notice of how many asks I’ve already quoted in this answer? That’s not even half of what I’ve had in my inbox pertaining this subject, whether from you or someone else. Back when the story was starting? I got asks about this VERY OFTEN, by someone who eventually came back and apologized (and boy, do I hope that none of the asks I’ve quoted were sent by that person, I seriously hope they didn’t backtrack on their apparent understanding of what I was doing with the story), and I don’t even know how many others too. It was people, just like you, who would read over my answers and just cherrypick the story trying to find any excuses to villify Sokka and paint him as undeserving and ungrateful and I don’t even know what else regarding Azula and their bond. Whether because he slept with a “ton” of people or because he made her cry or because of whatever reason you want to choose.

... When Azula can be fucking held responsible for literally making Sokka suicidal.

Fucking grapple with that for a sec, can you? :’) Imagine what it’s like falling in love with someone who once hurt you so badly you thought you wanted your life to be over. Do tell me how easily you’d get over your reservations, LONG before this person even SAYS SHE’S SORRY. BECAUSE. HAHA. AZULA DIDN’T EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR IT FOR FIFTY-FIVE CHAPTERS. JUST AN FYI. AND NONE OF YOU. NOOOONE OF YOU. GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT DETAIL. IT’D BE HILARIOUS IF IT WEREN’T SO OUTRAGEOUS.

Anyways. Getting back on track: people HAVE asked questions about this. Constantly. Consistently. Without restraint, ever since I first wrote it. Without bloody bothering to go through my blog first and find out if maaaaybe I’ve already addressed their concerns. And the worst part? I’ve actually had many askers, countless anons, lots of people talking to me about many things. Yes, I’ve had a million arguments on Tumblr, and not everything ended well.

But pal. Pal. Guess what’s the only subject that KEEPS ON COMING RIGHT BACK, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I DEAL WITH IT, AND IT’S ALWAYS, ALWAYS, WITH THE SAME SPECIFIC “SOKKA IS THE WORST” FOCUS???? :’)

Think about something you did seven years ago. Be it something you were proud of, or something you’re sad about, or just something that you really don’t think much of anymore, because you’ve moved on from that since ages ago.

And then imagine spending seven years. Receiving questions. Constantly. Whether rude or not. Whether thoughtful or not (usually the latter, tbh). Whether necessary or not. Whether already answered or not. About that very thing you’ve been over. That very specific thing from SEVEN YEARS AGO.

I’m tired, Anon, of dealing with this specific subject, because everyone who has come to me with this BS has been a pain in the ass: THEY KEEP COMING BACK. YOU’RE NOT THE FIRST ONE WHO DOES. IT’S INCREDIBLE. I’ve answered a thousand asks, and I do get follow-up questions sometimes, but NEVER as many or as frequently as THIS! And the part that I just can’t believe is that there’s people who write stuff that are thousands of times more complicated than what I did here (in terms of giving the characters even MORE love interests, like, genuine love triangles and actual love involved rather than a mere quick thing), and I don’t see anyone giving them a single hint of grief for that. Not even a smidge, not even if they leave the subject up in the air or unresolved later on. I’ve read stories that feature pairings I’m absolutely uncomfortable with, actual pairings that have a longer lasting relationship in the story than the pairing I was reading for! There’s literally a story in another fandom where the main relationship lasts, what, 6 months? Maybe? And then they break up. And then the guy goes on to have a fuckbuddy for YEARS. Meaning, the relationship with the fuckbuddy is longer and more stable than the ship the story is actually marked for.

And I didn’t give the writer even the SLIGHTEST grief for it.

Why the hell do you (and everyone else who has been so hung up about this subject) feel the need, or the entitlement, to determine that I need to put up with these questions? That I somehow earned them and need to answer them every time? Because, heh, I outright stopped answering for a long time because I didn’t want to. Because I was TIRED. Because I hoped, fruitlessly, that if I didn’t give you guys the attention you were so desperate for, you’d eventually get bored or realize that I DON’T CARE FOR THIS SUBJECT ANYMORE. I AM OVER IT. I HAVE BEEN OVER IT FOR AGES.

But SOMEHOW, getting me to the point where I’d be stressed, upset, outraged and annoyed was absolutely worth it for you guys. Seriously, what the hell do you think I am? A big monolith that just spews words and has zero emotions whatsoever? I’ve given SEVEN YEARS of my life to this story. Have you ever done this for ANYTHING in your life? Have you ever devoted yourself to a project to this extent? No? Then you don’t get to dictate whether I should be annoyed, upset, angry, irritated or whatever the fuck I feel when I get asks as persistent, thoughtless and devoid of proper reflection as the ones I CONSTANTLY get over 28 and everything related to Sokka’s past with named and nameless women alike.

And hey, just so you know, someone recently said they thought it wasn’t necessary for Whaletail Island’s arc to end as it did. That there shouldn’t be a 1-year interval until Sokka can meet his family, his FATHER, again. That Katara, Aang, Zuko and Kino totally should have stayed outside the South Pole and helped fight against Ozai merely because the Gaang was FINALLY together!!!

... Conveniently forgetting the ENTIRE purpose for the South Pole group’s trip to Whaletail Island was for them to find food with which they could help a starving, dying village.

So excuse me if some people “questioning” my story doesn’t make me question my choices the way you guys apparently expect me to. Because at this point, the “questioning” I’m receiving is honestly so thoughtless, so poorly conceived, just done for YOUR SUBJECTIVE CONVENIENCE, without taking the full picture into account, even in situations like this one, where it’s bloody obvious Zuko won’t go fight the Fire Nation when his wife and child could be the next ones to bite the dust and that’s the whole reason he even left??? I’m not even talking about the bigger picture that I get to see as a writer, I mean the bigger picture in regards of character feelings and motivations... you people do see that. You have it, explained outright, perhaps too explained! Hell, if my literature teachers read Gladiator they’d likely cringe at how often I SPELL EVERYTHING OUT instead of leaving a few things for the reader to fill the gaps! Oh, but naaaaah, I have to come here, spend HOURS of my day answering asks about why Sokka got to sleep with people when Azula didn’t, and why do I think he’s loyal to her if he did that before he was committed to Azula, and if he’s going to sleep with more people because of COURSE, if he was with anyone else before her it means he will be again in the future...!

When I could be using all this time to actually work on stuff that I DO want to work on. Namely, building up the story further. With some very dark, serious, difficult developments that I’m trying to be in the right place to write.

And asks like these? They sure as fuck don’t help. Not only do they distract me, they have NOTHING to do with what I’m working on right now. I’ve considered the subject of Sokka’s past experiences as closed and DONE since chapter 112, and I don’t need you, or anyone else, to come to me and beg for more explanations than the pretty damn extensive ones you already got in a PRETTY DAMN EXTENSIVE STORY.

If you still read Gladiator at this point. If you reach chapter 187 and see a Sokka who hugs Azula, twirls her in midair, damn near crying of bliss because she said she loved him in public, in front of their siblings, a Sokka who is choosing to stay with her, without a shred of a doubt, with his heart COMPLETELY set on HER, instead of going back to a family who used to be THE ONLY THING he cared about in life, and you somehow conclude “this guy would totally cheat on Azula if he had the chance”... then I’m sorry but I HAVE every right to be angry. I have every right to be completely beside myself as I am. 

Because you’re basically saying that I spent SEVEN YEARS developing this character, this relationship, this story, and it went to waste. Because you refuse to believe, for personal reasons, that Sokka is in any way deserving of his bond with Azula. Because somehow you think this is CONTRADICTORY, when merely looking at things with a slightly more open mind, reveals that this isn’t contradiction: IT’S NUANCE. It’s COMPLEXITY. It’s the fact that a character can change their mind about certain things, they can deplore certain mistakes they made, they can regret their actions in retrospect, and my characters? They sure do that. All the bloody time. Azula does it constantly, and for good reason. But it just goes right over your head, and it’s because you want it to. I refuse to believe you can’t understand what I’ve explained before, and what I’m explaining now: you don’t want to understand it, which is different. You want to condemn Sokka, and you want to feel validated in your discomfort about one specific, long-resolved plot point of the story, demanding for explanations of why it was necessary when you really don’t care for the explanations: you just wish it hadn’t happened at all.

And great! You can wish that all you like! Why the hell not? But you don’t get to pelt me day after day with criticism that falls apart easier than a card castle as soon as I take a look at what I wrote in the story, only to then pick ANOTHER quote, OUT OF CONTEXT, to once again present your case of why this is just wrong and bad and not written the way you want it to be.

I’ve received legitimate, valid criticism of many aspects of Gladiator. I always ended up feeling pretty bad after, but the valid ones? I realized, even if it hurt, that they were true. That some of that made sense. That, if I got to write this story all over again, I probably should fix those details and not get overwhelmed by my excitement to get to the meat of the story, which is why some developments of the introduction arc are so rushed compared to everything else. It was my inexperience, my mistake. I’ve made mistakes later on too, and I’ve taken note of them as well, despite I’m doing my best to incorporate them into the story as seamlessly as possible so that they even tie in with canon fairly well. In short, I don’t believe Gladiator is perfect, and sometimes when people tell me as much? I know they’re right. I take what I can from that, and learn from it, if possible.

But this? The criticism I’ve received for 28, and for Sokka’s past, is 100% subjective, CONSTANTLY. I’ve never read any that genuinely makes me go “oh well that’s a good point, maybe it’s OOC or maybe I could’ve done it differently to the exact same results without the same elements”. It’s always, to varying degrees, “I hate that you’re writing for one specific ship but allowed one member of the ship to have experiences with other people before he really got together with his one true love and I’m going to pester you about it until I finally get bored of making you rant and ramble for hours to no avail because I won’t listen to anything you say”.

So, yes. I feel justified in lashing right back at you for the backlash. Because this isn’t just you, it’s a lot of people, like you said! And you’re ALL free to hate what happened, I’ve never said you have to like it and I never will. But if you’re going to criticize? You’re open for criticism too. Fact is, if you wanted to actually talk about this properly? You’d get off anon and we’d have (I hope) a decent conversation via messaging about ALL that bothers you about this story. I’d even be a thousand times more civil than I have been so far! And why would I act so differently? Because you’re an anon. Because you’re HIDING. And from the shadows, you toss all this criticism at me and then whine because I don’t like it. Well, own up to your own shit too, Anon. If you wanted a real debate, if you had the ARGUMENTS for a real debate, we could have one just fine. But you don’t. And if you get the privilege of anonymity, I get the privilege of speaking my mind with zero regard of your feelings, because that’s basically how you, and all the anons I’ve quoted (whether they’re you or anyone else) have behaved as so far.

Yes, I write, and I post what I write online, which leaves the gateway open for criticism for sure. 

It doesn’t give you the right to be this persistent of an asshole to the point of saying I have no right to be annoyed by your questions. You don’t have the slightest idea of how much work I’ve put into Gladiator for the past seven years. You don’t have the slightest grasp of character development if you don’t understand THAT is what’s been happening with Sokka all along. And you don’t get to decide how I feel about your asks, or anyone else’s.

You can send another ask about ANYTHING regarding this subject, be it my inability to handle “criticism”, or chapter 28, or chapters 111-112 and their respective revelations about Sokka’s past, or your presumed belief that Sokka will be with a thousand women despite he’s completely committed to Azula by now... but this time I mean it: YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANOTHER ANSWER OUT OF ME. I’ve had it. This is the last straw. I’m done discussing this subject, and I’ll outright change my askbox’s message for you to remember that if you try to pull this again.

Now then. Can I finally go back to working on my story, or must I continue to invest HOURS of my day spelling out all the writing decisions I’ve made that you can’t make your peace with?

Please, Anon: get over it. If you can’t, stop reading. You’ll be happier that way. And so will I. I’m in no place, emotionally, for this kind of BS on my inbox all the damn time. Give me a goddamn break if you truly have any respect for what I do.

[wyldervane]

Vindolme

Title(s); Vestige, Eye of the Queen, Undaunted, Mage Adept, Briar

Race/Age; Altmer male, approx. 200 to 210 years old Specialization; Templar (though he prefers 'light mage' or 'rogue') Skills; Cooking/provisioning (expert), Alchemy (adept/expert), Enchanting (Apprentice), Crafts (Woodworking, blacksmithing, clothier....ing?) (adept), Jeweling (Novice), Legedermain (lockpicking, pickpocketing, sneaking, etc) (adept/expert), Dual Wield (daggers, specifically; expert/master), Archery (adept/expert), Medium Armor (expert), Magic (expert/master), Speech/Barter (adept/expert)

Alliance; Aldmeri Dominion, though he aids the others in non-war related things from time to time Guilds; Thieves Guild, Assassin's Guild, Mages Guild, Fighters Guild, The Undaunted, The Psijic Order, The Briars, The Eyes of the Queen

Companions/Mounts; Ticks, a reprogrammed Dwemer spider; Laolan, a massive nearly-black wolf; Briadlhea, another massive wolf with pale white stripes; Aylied, yet another wolf but with fox-like markings that are swirled at the edges; Sisilien, a massive golden she-wolf. All the wolves are mounts, though he typically travels alone or with Laolan for long distances.

Personality; Very tired, and skittish about friendship/companionship, a great deal of trauma related to promises and the breaking of them so he clams right up if they're mentioned, but always willing to help. He has a strong moral compass and spares everyone he can, even if they really do deserve to die. Utterly devoted to Queen Ayrenn, and gets incredibly irate if anyone tries to imply he's disloyal or that he ought to follow them instead. He enjoys teaching people, especially when those people are actually interested in what he has to say- and even more so when they don't pry about his past more than he's willing to say. Can seem aloof and distant, but only because he doesn't want anyone getting too close. He actually cares very deeply.

Appearance; He's on the shorter side for Altmer, just under 6'0". His eyes are hazel-green, and like most elves, one can barely see the whites of them. They're also slanted slightly, again like most elves. His skin is a golden-tan shade, darker than most of his race, and he also has sharper teeth than the typical Altmer. His hair is very dark brown, and is just starting to silver at the temples. While originally he kept it incredibly short, lately he's taken to wearing it longer, down to his mid-back, in an effort to look more distinguished- though he'll tie it back if he has time before a fight. He has war paint only slightly darker than his skin in curving stripes along his cheekbones/just under his eyes, with thumbprint-dots just under it in the same color. He also has a 'van dyke' beard style. Typically he stands very straight, and with a hand resting on the hilt of one of his daggers if he has them with him.

Clothing; usually black with dark grey or blue, and gold accents. Almost always wears medium armor; usually a jack, bracers, and boots, as well as a padded set of pants and a warded shirt. Sometimes, he will also wear a hood and mask, or a cloak, depending on the nature of his mission. (He also has a variety of outfits for missions to specific provinces, but I am not going to list them all here.)

Magic/fighting style; he tends to use a pair of daggers, wielding them with acrobatic moves and swift strikes to outmaneuver enemies and slip through their guard. He will also use a longbow, particularly for long-distance silent takedowns, or supporting an ally from above- or dealing with other mages before they know he's there. His magic is very bright, almost blindingly so, which works to his advantage when facing opponents alone; the light doesn't affect him as much, considering he's the one casting. It works less well when he's fighting with others, as he hasn't perfected keeping the blinding effect to his enemies rather than everyone who isn't him. Usually, this magic takes the form of a spear or staff, and burns to the touch of anyone but the wielder; however, he is also fond of hurling fireballs at enemies' faces and calling on benevolent magic in his surroundings to heal himself or others (though others are far more difficult for him to heal, and he can only do so when not in combat). Occasionally, he conjures a brilliant bow, but he uses this sparingly- both because it drains him, and because it is rarely of tactical advantage. He can also call down a burning well of magic from the sky, which sends out waves of heat and light that damage anyone within a certain radius, at the cost of most of his magicka reserves.

Artist's rendition of Vindolme (please do not repost, this is my original artwork and it would make me very sad);

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSIM: Second Chances THE FINALE!

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiiig Brother!

@brentrobinson​​ @flungevictee​​ @kaysarswhore​​ @maxdoesbb​​ @music-obsessednerd​​ @pawn2393​​ @rennyforpresident​​ @wheremy--demons--hide​​

Jury: @theminionjcfucked​​ @fucklauryn​​ @phylisisley​​ @iantxrry​​ @swampassthing​​ @cirie-sandra-michaela​​ @flopbb-22​​ @paymeincashnottears​​

Welcome to finale night at Big Brother! 92 days ago, 16 returning houseguests who had never won Big Brother came back to fight for the title in round 2. Tonight, we crown our champion!

Will it be @kaysarswhore? She came into the game an underdog, and got the villain edit all season long. But at the end of the day, she has never been nominated. She’s dominated comps; can she do it again tonight?

Will it be @maxdoesbb? The rat of the season, but the best damn rat I’ve ever seen. He made friends with everyone across the board, and was the biggest social threat of the season. Can he use his social game to win over the votes of the jury?

Or will it be @pawn2393? Not the best social player, but comps? A BEAST! He was loyal to his allies, and showed it by winning comps and keeping them safe. Will his loyalty pay off in the form of jury votes?

Let’s find out! Let’s get this HOH started!

Part 1 is endurance! We’ve seen some strong endurance competitions this season, and this one is bound to be just as intense.

After 2 hours and 1 minute, the first person to fall is

@pawn2393 in the DR: “I just couldn’t hold on any longer. I hurt left hand playing in the veto last week, and I’m still recovering from it. I’m just hoping I can take out whoever else loses in Part 2.”

It’s down to @kaysarswhore and @maxdoesbb. 

@maxdoesbb: “Please drop. I’m taking you to the end, you know that. I just need this win, please.”

@kaysarswhore: “You swear on your life? On your life?”

@maxdoesbb nods vigorously, unable to speak after being so cold and thrown against the wall again.

Suddenly, after 3 hours and 4 minutes, a houseguest drops. Which means the winner of Part 1 of the HOH is............

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@maxdoesbb! You have advanced to Part 3 of the final HOH!

@pawn2393 in the DR: “I’m really heartbroken that it’s me and @kaysarswhore in part 2. I wanted it to be both of us in the end, knowing either way we’d be in those final 2 chairs. Fuck, man”

@kaysarswhore: “Either way, I’m good! I didn’t need to win this, so I’ll just try my hand at Part 2.”

The two losers, @kaysarswhore and @pawn2393, enter the backyard one at a time to compete. Afterwards, completely wiped, the two head back to the living room where @maxdoesbb reads the results.

@maxdoesbb: “ @kaysarswhore, you had a time of...

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9:25!

@pawn2393, you had a time of...

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9:21!”

@pawn2393 will face off against @maxdoesbb in Part 3 of the HOH!

The competition is stiff, and it comes down to a tie-breaker. The final question is: “How many minutes, from the moment the first person stepped in the door, have you spent in the Big Brother house this summer?”

@pawn2393 answers 100,000

@maxdoesbb answers 150,000

Julie: “The correct answer is...

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121,002 minutes!”

@pawn2393, you are the final HOH of the summer, and have earned the right to choose who will be sitting next to you! We’ll be back for that vote after a word from our sponsors.

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Buy Twistos(TM)! To TWIST up your life!

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Julie: “Welcome back! Let’s join our houseguests in the living room where @pawn2393 is about to cast their vote to determine the final 2 and the final member of the jury. Before you vote, each houseguest gets one last chance to plead their case.”

@kaysarswhore: “You know I love you no matter what, and I’ll be rooting for you no matter what decision you make. I think you know what I would do if I were in your shoes, so I hope you do the same. Love you!”

@maxdoesbb: “If you want to lose this game, you’re going to take @kaysarswhore to the end. She will sweep that jury, and you’ll be left standing with no money. Take me, and the jury is a fair fight. That’s all I have to say”

Julie: “ @pawn2393? Please stand and cast your vote when you’re ready.”

@pawn2393: “Okay, so the two of you are amazing, but I have to do what I’ve been planning on doing since the very beginning of this game. @kaysarswhore, you’ve been my ride or die since the beginning, and I am so so grateful to you for everything you have done for me. That being said,.....

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Julie: “It’s official, @maxdoesbb, you are evicted from the Big Brother house. Come on out!”

Julie: “ @maxdoesbb! You were so close! What went wrong?”

@maxdoesbb: “That goddamn @pawn2393! I had the perfect plan, but he got in the way! If I had only answered correctly in that stupid final competition, I would be in there right now!”

Julie: “Do you think the jury has already made their decision? Or is it still up in the air?”

@maxdoesbb: “I honestly don’t know! It’ll be exciting to see who the jury wants to vote for. I mean, I’m pretty much set on my vote! *audience oohs*

Julie: “Well, we’re all anxious to find out who that is. Coming up, who will win the whole enchilada? But first, let’s bring out the members of our jury!

Julie: “Let’s begin with jury questions!”

@theminionjcfucked: “My question is for @kaysarswhore. Was being a complete bitch a part of your strategy? Or was it just you?”

@kaysarswhore: “No, I’m naturally a hard to get along with kind of person. I knew that I wasn’t gonna get along with everyone, but I wanted to do my best to get along as best I could. It wasn’t easy. I did my best. I apologize if I hurt anyone deeply, but I was focused on playing the game.”

@iantxrry: “ @pawn2393, what was the biggest game move you made that was your own, and NOT @kaysarswhore‘s?”

@pawn2393: “My biggest game moves were winning my four HOHs and taking out the biggest threats in this house. I had adversity after adversity thrown my way, and my biggest move was overcoming it all.”

@swampassthing: “If we’re talking competitions, I won four vetoes. Other than competition wins, why should I vote for you @kaysarswhore?”

@kaysarswhore: “You should vote for me because I was loyal to my alliance, but not to a fault. I took out @cirie-sandra-michaela, the biggest threat in this game, on my HOH. I was loyal to him until he became a bigger threat than I could keep around.”

@paymeincashnottears: “My question is for @pawn2393. How can you ask me to vote for you when you spent a solid four or five weeks targeting (and failing to evict) me, the person with no comp wins and no allies?”

@pawn2393: “Full disclosure, you weren’t always my target. I wanted the biggest threat to go each week, and sometimes that was you, and yes, sometimes I failed. But that’s Big Brother. I did the best with the hand I was dealt.”

@maxdoesbb: “My question is for @kaysarswhore. I’m pretty sure I know who I’m voting for, but if you had won the final HOH instead of @pawn2393, who would you have taken to the end?”

@kaysarswhore: “Honestly? I would have probably taken @pawn2393. I feel like I have a better chance at beating him now than I would have if you were sitting here.”

Julie: “And that’s all the questions we have for you. @kaysarswhore​ and @pawn2393​, you will have one last chance to sway the jury in your final plea. @kaysarswhore​, you’re up first.

@kaysarswhore​: “I have played this season the only way I know how: HARD.” I won comps when I needed them, I was loyal until I couldn’t be any longer, and I strategized every chance I got. I made friendships along the way, and I’d like to think that I never made this game personal. I deserve this money, I deserve this title, and I deserve your vote. Thank you for an amazing summer, and I hope I soon get to thank you for my win.”

@pawn2393​: “Well, I’d like to say that while @kaysarswhore​ was out making side deals and playing dirty, I was working to secure my alliance’s safety. I stayed loyal until the end, not just until it was convenient for me to be disloyal. I worked hard to ensure my own safety, and even survived the block; something @kaysarswhore​ never had to do. I have fought so hard for this win, and I hope you all can see that.”

Julie: “Thank you both! It’s now time to vote!”

Each houseguest walks up one at a time and places their key in their slot. Once all the keys have been placed, Julie reads them out. After reading them, it’s revealed that the WINNER of Renny’s BBSim: Second Chances is...

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@kaysarswhore​! Congratulations, you are the winner of $500,000! 

After a grueling 92 day season, you have come out on top! Let’s see how the jury votes fell!

In the end, it looks like people were willing to forgive @kaysarswhore​ for all of her antics. Or maybe they just weren’t willing to forgive @pawn2393​ for his. Either way, she’s now half a million richer!

America has been voting all season for their favorite houseguest, and we have the results here. In no particular order, the top three vote-getters are:

@fucklauryn​, @iantxrry​, and @maxdoesbb​!

In third place...

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Finally, the winner of America’s Favorite Player, and winner of a $10,000 cash prize is....

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@fucklauryn​! Congratulations! You gave us LIFE this season and we’re here to reward you for it!

From outside the Big Brother house, I’m @rennyforpresident​. Goodnight!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR PLAYING!! This season was SO MUCH FUN and it was entertaining the entire way through! I don’t know when I’ll be doing another sim, but I hope to do one again soon! 

For now, Here are the stats from the season!!

[yennefers-geralt]

what do you think about j0nsas using the ‘winterfell belongs to my sister sansa’ line? cos as far as i can tell that’s jon trying to get out of stannis’ offer cos he doesn’t think he, a bastard, deserves it. book jon is extremely ambitious & when he takes wf (for arya) i think that ambition will show itself more violently.

Not sure what they’re using it for, but in my opinion, anyone who puts any stock in that line isn’t looking at the full context. As you say, Jon is very ambitious. He wants Winterfell. He has always wanted to be Lord of Winterfell since he was a child. The only thing that has changed from his childhood is that now he knows that not only does his status as a bastard bar him from this dream, but all of his siblings would need to be dead in order for that dream to come true.

When Jon had been very young, too young to understand what it meant to be a bastard, he used to dream that one day Winterfell might be his. Later, when he was older, he had been ashamed of those dreams. Winterfell would go to Robb and then his sons, or to Bran or Rickon should Robb die childless. And after them came Sansa and Arya. Even to dream otherwise seemed disloyal, as if he were betraying them in his heart, wishing for their deaths. I never wanted this, he thought as he stood before the blue-eyed king and the red woman. I loved Robb, loved all of them . . . I never wanted any harm to come to any of them, but it did. And now there's only me. -- ASOS

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it. --- ASOS

Jon obviously feels guilty for his ambitions and sees it as a betrayal to his siblings. All the turmoil his family has been in makes him feel even guiltier since he is only being offered Winterfell since his brothers are believed to be dead. He would basically be benefiting from their deaths and the captivity of his sisters. So when he says that Winterfell belongs to the older of his sisters, it has nothing to do with Sansa. If he knew about Rickon’s survival, he would say “Winterfell belongs to my brother, Rickon.” If he knew that Bran was alive, he would say, “Winterfell belongs to my brother Bran.” If he knew that Robb had disinherited Sansa to protect the North from the Lannisters or any southerner who wanted to use a marriage to her as a way of claiming the region (as Littlefinger claims to be doing), Jon would say, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Arya.” 

Basically, the line has nothing to do with the sibling he mentions. The line is about Jon, his ambition, his guilt, and his loyalty to his siblings. 

If anything in Jon’s chapters were indicative of how he feels about Sansa, it would be the fact that Jon finds out that she was married at the age of 12 to an adult who is an enemy of their family and plans on using her claim to the North. In that situation, Jon proves that he could not possibly care less about Sansa or her well-being. He literally cares more about Tyrion, the adult enemy who intends to exploit her claim and eventually use her to make children. And I’m not even saying that Jon’s lack of reaction is a good thing. Even a stranger should have sympathy for Sansa in that situation. But Jon doesn’t have an ounce to spare for her.