#and any guesses what *that* leads to
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I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'
#tw suicide#im just. so tired#and i know that right now part of it is im sick (not covid tho) but still.#and it's like im grieving the lost friendship all over again and what might have been#i am the best version of myself when im with the boy. but now no wonder he is avoiding me. and i don't blame him! but for some reason it's#hitting rlly hard again atm and it's just. Im Sad.#i really don't know why that's so prevalent in my mind right now#and it's rlly not safe for me to drive long distances alone i think. i find driving v stressful#and any guesses what *that* leads to#tw sh#the answer was: a frightening amount.#and then there are things i don't understand#my brother begged me to destroy the suicide note i wrote yesterday#and i don't know why. because it's very unlikely to be something that i would stop to do tbh. so what there is would at least explain#*something* perhaps. i don't know#i have spent more than half of my waking hours in the last week seriously thinking of suicide. i don't know how to stop this#and given that i've read two books in full and gone to a play i enjoyed that says something about what hte rest of the time has been filled#with. i don't know how to get out of this. in some ways i feel like it's worse now than it was bc i expected it to get better when mum and#dad got back. if anything it's worse - more constant.#the lows are not quite as low but the baseline is definitely lower#i am just feeling very hopeless rn#yesterday i was driving and reciting psalm 23 and i was so overcome with emotion and i repeated it multiple times and that helped somewhat#but only in the moment ig. i don't know. i don't know how to fix this or even improve it#if im still feeling like this on monday i am so going to walk over the road and straight-up ask to borrow a kitten overnight.#and hope the kitten doesn't decide to go near all the cuts :(#a part of me is genuinely wondering if i should check myself into a psych ward. the other parts of me say either that this isn't bad enough#for that or thta i am simply too scared to. which is true. nasty stuff in psych wards for obvious reasons#anyway i need prayers thankyou
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problemnyatic · 6 months ago
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executive dysfunction really is a complete fucking nightmare. all the decisions you could make, but you won't. All the things you know you should do, you want to do, but you won't. Yeah yeah we all know it's a symptom but it feels and looks like just.... deciding not to be responsible.
It's easier not to, so i guess I just won't. I promise it's not laziness, I swear. It's not me just giving up on things that affect more than just me, I swear. Maybe if I say it enough I could hope to believe it myself.
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journey-to-the-attic · 9 months ago
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the rest of the cast got their new song covers, so i wanted to try putting the others in a band :>
i did want to make it look a bit like an album cover but i have no idea how those are designed so eh?? i also couldn't think of any band or album/song names so. if anyone has any ideas...
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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago
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Can we talk about how fcked up Charles can be sometimes? Can we talk about how Charles can sometimes be actually scary as a person? Like he can legit be nefarious sometimes, but those moments are not as talked about as Erik's warcrimes (aside from the holocaust visions from TAS)
girlfriend i promise we're all very aware about how wack charles xavier can be and i assure you his nefarious moments are talked plenty from what i run into. like outside of this inbox most times you breathe charles' name to someone they'll be prepared to start swinging
#snap chats#its kinda funny tho. like out of all the charas ive fave'd over the years its funny how charles incites the most violence#and i get it i aint sayin it unfounded !!! just funny alright i stand with my problematic wife and all his wrongdoings. sometimes.#six decades of writers and writing decisions will lead to a lot of Girl What decisions#like marvel ruins. where charles is president. sorry girls im bringing it up if we wanna talk bout Fucked Up Charles#i mean those issues arent really. good. not just cause its grotesquely dark I Can Enjoy Dark And Gruesome Themes#the art's also hauntingly beautiful to look at its sad it's attached to such a nothing series. theres no real story ..#like i doint MIND dark or morally-dubious charles im a fan of it even when its done right or interesting#but thats where marvel ruins fumbles It Doesnt Do Anything Interesting with a morally corrupt charles#it just goes 'yeah hes fucked up and does terrible things now' like ok and .......... wheres the rest of the sauce ...#a less Gruesomely Fucked decision comparatively charles did was plant a virus on david because he didnt trust him Not to fuck things up#he regrets it like five seconds later after he realized How Fucked Up That Was but still ... charles ... im going to chokeslam you...#back to the main topic tho. its very funny because charles be catching strays on xmen twitter too#and i mean The Sincerest Of Strays tho i guess if you try Any xmen topic can go back to charles#but the post'll be bout an entirely different bloke or lass and theyll be wishing ill will on cue ball like girl he aint even HERE#anyway. yeah charles' imperfections is what makes him really interesting. to me. thank you#now for my next post to be an awkward juxtaposition to this one unless someone ones to throw in an ask last minute#and i mean very last minute i think i have all the tags typed up ont he other one vjeLKEJA
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phantoms-lair · 10 months ago
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"Okay, I can see why your astrology loving self likes it here," Tim elbowed Danny.
"It's astronomy and you know it." Danny said, fake offended.
"Yeah, I will admit I'm surprised by how good the internet is here. I wasn't expecting that out of rural Kansas."
"Well, think of who they have to keep in contact with, and how far away." Danny pointed out. "Honestly, pretty sure Bruce is responsible."
"Wouldn't be surprised."
"Hey Danny!" Elle hovered over the two of them. "Let's go flying!"
"We've got a guest you know." Danny gestured at Tim with his thumb. "Be kind of a jerk move to fly off without him."
"Can't he fly?" Elle asked. "His hero name is Robin, right?"
Elle looked like she was ten, but Tim had to remind himself she was less than half a year old and often surrounded by metahumans. "No flight. All my powers are up here." he said, tapping the side of his head.
"You're psychic?" she asked.
Danny laughed and Tim rolled his eyes. "No powers, just smart." he clarified. Then he looked back at the stars. "It would be interesting to see what it would be like to have powers, but like most of the family, I'm a normal human."
"No one who can lie to Batman with a straight face is normal." Danny pointed out.
"If he wants to know what it's like to have powers, why don't you show him?" Elle asked.
"It's rude." Danny said, sticking his tongue.
"Not with consent."
"Not with permission." Danny pleaded. "You are too young for me to want to hear you use the phrase 'consent'."
"Missing something." Tim pointed out.
"Overshadowing. If I take control of you I can channel my powers through your body. But like I said, it's kind of rude."
Tim wasn't sure 'rude' was the word for stealing someone's bodily autonomy. But Elle did have a point of her own. There was a world of difference between doing something with or without consent. "Okay, how would that work?"
"How would what work?" Danny asked.
"The overshadowing thing."
"Oh, it's er," Danny was fiddling with his fingers, suddenly nervous. "It's kinda creepy."
Tim gave him a flat look. They'd covered Danny referring to himself as 'creepy' enough in Gotham that he wasn't amused.
"It's basically possession. I would seize control of your body and channel my powers through it. Normally the person getting possessed is sort of put to sleep and only has vague impressions of the time they were controlled. But a person with strong enough willpower can resist and be aware." Unsaid was that pretty much everyone in Tim's family would be able to hold onto their awareness.
"Could you cede control once you had it though? Possess someone but not control them?"
"I honestly don't know. I've never tried it." Danny admitted.
"Then lets try it," Tim suggested.
Danny looked at him like he was crazy. "Why?"
"Two reason. The first is it will see how well I do if a ghost tries controlling me. The second," he shrugged, "I'm not a metahuman and will probably never be one. And I'm okay with that, but it's been interesting to see what it feels like to be one, you know?"
Danny pursed his lips and Tim wondered if he was crossing a line. Being a metahuman hadn't exactly been a fun experience for Danny, after all.
"Okay." Danny said reluctantly. "But you don't get to blame me if you don't like it."
Or he could just still have issues with the thought of people rejecting him for his powers. "Fair. We've got Elle as our witness that this was my idea. I could talk to the Kents beforehand too-"
"Not necessary!" Danny shuddered.
Tim felt his heart droop. Deep down Danny still didn't trust they'd keep caring for him. He hated what the Fentons had done to Danny's self esteem. "You don't have to if you don't want to." Tim softly reminded him. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable either. But I trust you, you know?"
Danny swallowed heavily. "Okay. If you're sure."
It felt cold, at first, like a chill up his spine. Then Tim felt his mouth move and vocal chords activate independently of of him. "Okay, so this is overshadowing." His own voice said. "So I guess, try to do something and I'll try not to stop it?"
"Do you have to talk out loud?" Tim asked. "It's going to look like I'm talking to myself."
"I guess that works. And yes, no psychic connection for this. Sorry."
"Weird," Elle observed. "I've seen some recordings of overshadowing and usually the person has the eyes glowing the ghosts color when control, but the glow fades when they resist control. But the eye glow didn't go away when Tim spoke."
"He's not resisting me, I'm letting him have control, it's different." Danny insisted.
"Maybe I should start resisting you. Just to see if I can." Tim suggested.
Elle giggled. It really did look funny with him talking to himself.
"Okay," Danny raised Tim's arm and clenched his fist. "You try to open your hand and I'll try to keep it shut."
Tim had to admit just feeling his arm move like that was mildly panic inducing. He'd managed not to be carded by Hatter but imagined this was what it felt like. He struggled to move his hand only to have it firmly stay in place. He struggled more, eventually sending his arm into erratic fits, punching himself in the face. "Owww" he moaned as
Elle doubled over in laughter.
"Healing factor should take care of it in a few minutes. Unless you want to stop now." Danny rubbed their injured nose.
"No, I mean, I think I want muscle control back, we can work on resisting stuff more later. But I want to see what having powers feels like!"
"Which one do you want to-"
"Flying!" Elle interrupted gleefully.
"I think you might have an ulterior motive." Danny said dryly. "You up for flying, Tim?"
"Yes please," Tim answered, trying to hide how excited he was to try.
He's seen others fly, several times, but it wasn't something he's ever thought he could do except on a hang glider or something.
"We're going for invisibility first." Danny warned. "Since we don't want to be seen."
If getting possessed had been a shiver up his spine, becoming invisible was like being dunked in cool water. Not frigid, but a definite chill ran across his skin as it vanished from sight. Then Tim felt gravity lose it's hold on him. Without any form of propulsion he lifted up about a foot in the air.
"We're going to start low and slow." Danny assured him. "So if anything goes wrong you aren't going to fall too far." Gently he leaned forward and glided effortlessly through the air.
"Do you think I could do this myself?" Tim asked.
"No clue, let's try!" Danny seemed to be warming up to the idea of testing with Tim's lack of a bad reaction to being overshadowed.
The floated in place and Tim tried to move their shared body. But while he could mover his limbs with ease, Danny's power couldn't be interacted with. "Doesn't look like it, sorry."
Elle looped back around. "This is low and slow is kiddy stuff." She groaned.
Danny gave her a mild glare. "You are three months old. You have no right to complain of kiddy stuff."
"If anything I can more." Elle countered. "Come on, can we at least do tag or something?" Tim shrugged. "Sure, tag sounds good."
~
"Does she normally smoke you this bad at tag?"
"No." Danny grumped.
Tim sighed. "Sorry. Having to plan out our strategies is letting her hear us. If you took full control-" "Then you wouldn't be in the game, I'd just be using you as a meat suit for no reason." Danny pointed out.
Tim thought for a moment. "Danny, can you put your shield in a bubble around us, so Elle can't hear us planning?"
"Sure, but it's going to be obvious."
"That's fine, we're just planning the planning." Tim assured. Danny raised the shield "We're planning to plan? Seems redundant."
"We're planning the things that will let us plan in plain sigh without your sister knowing." Tim corrected. "So our main issue here is we've got two minds that need to collaborate. Even if we split the division of labor of you powers me body, we each need to use both. You can take control of my body if an opportunity needs it, but I can't take control of your powers, so that what we need more communication for."
"Elle hasn't developed much beyond the standard, so we can keep to those. So, intangibility," Tim tapped the ring finger of his left hand twice. "If I make that motion, it means I'm asking you to use intangibility, if you do it it's warning me you're using it and I don't have to flinch away. Blinking twice will work the same for invisibility and..." Tim thought a moment more. "Tongue for flying." "Okay, I get eyes for invisibility and hands for intangibility, why tongue for flying?" Danny asked.
"Because it can't be seen. So tongue on the roof of my mouth acts as the taps or blinking, but can also be used to indicate direction in three dimensions." Tim demonstrated by holding his tongue to the roof of his mouth, then pressing it to the left side of his cheek."
Any more discussion was interrupted by Elle knocking on the shield. Danny dropped it to reveal his younger sister looking annoyed. "Are we playing or what?" Dany smirk and cracked their shared knuckles. "Round two begins now."
~
Alfred stood on the porch with the Kents while Martha rang the bell to call the children in. It had been a lovely visit catching up with them while Tim spent some time with Danny and Elle. It warmed his heart that despite moving to Smallville and possibly adding Kent to his name instead of Wayne, Danny and Tim were still very much brothers.
(One of the contingencies, if the Kents hadn't felt able to take in the boy, was for him to be officially adopted by Tim as a Drake, allowing him to still be a part of the family without feeling an unwanted connection to Master Bruce. But that plan was scrapped when Danny became publicly known during the Seige of Gotham. It was for the best, Danny truly needed more adults he trusted.)
It wasn't unexpected to see the children approach from the air. What was unexpected was there was only two of them and Master Tim seemed to be flying of his own volition. A raised eyebrow was all it took to remind the children that this wasn't an ordinary situation either.
Tim felt his shoulders hunch and his cheek flush as Danny's self-consciousness expressed itself in his body. Danny separated from him and opened his mouth, probably to apologize, but Tim wasn't going to let him. "I wanted to know what it was like to fly." he said, cutting off any apologies for his existence his brother might make.
"Indeed." Alfred said simply. "And how did that work out?"
"Quite well. I can better coordinate flying members of the team now, as well as Danny and I worked out a simple non-verbal code in order to plan around Elle while she could hear everything we said to each other. It was a productive endeavor."
"More importantly, Master Tim." Alfred's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Did you have fun?"
Tim felt himself becoming bashful now, ducking his head. "Yeah." He answered. "I did."
Good. Just as Danny needed the occasional reminder they were cared for, Tim needed the reminder that he was more than his use.
"That's something." Pa rubbed his chin. "Don't suppose you'd be willing too take me up there too. "I'd love to be able to go flying with Clark."
Danny's face turned red, and he half hid behind Tim's shoulder.
"It's okay if you're not comfortable with us for that yet." Ma said kindly. "We know you haven't know us as long as Tim."
"S'Okay." Danny muttered.
"You can take Pa and I'll take Ma. We can all go flying!" Elle cheered.
"When your brother's ready," Ma gently admonished.
"With that we must be off." Alfred apologized. "While I treasure these times, it's not fair to Miss Gordon to have to run herd on our family all evening without backup."
"Give Bruce our best." Ma patted Tim on the head while Pa and Alfred shook hands.
"I will. See you soon Danny."
"Yeah." Danny smiled at his brother. "See you soon."
It would be sooner than either of the two thought
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sneezarify · 3 months ago
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oh allergies, I adore you 🥺
(I was looking through my drafts, and noticed I had made two very similar posts a year apart 😂 maybe I should make it an annual thing?)
Essentially, my nose in allergy season is the nose I want all year round! I’m so jealous of sensitive nose/all year allergy people.
Well, feels timely to share as my nose goes back to being boring 😝
2024:
“Some notably fun things to report from this allergy season so far:
I have become a red wine sneezer (!!)
I am more or less a morning sneezer now (I sneezed myself awake today).
I can’t drink ginger beer without triggering sneezes.
On a bad allergy day that becomes any sparkling drink.
I can often induce some stuck sneezes by rubbing the roof of my mouth with my tongue and can help stuck sneezes along by hitching or breathing slowly and purposefully.
On bad allergy days I can rub/press my nose the wrong way and trigger sneezes.
Inducing triggers FITS.
I’m much more sensitive to dust.”
2023:
(lol I was a lot more passionate this year)
“Ok ok, hear me out!
because I’m sick n tired of people not liking allergies more than colds.
Reason #10,000 that allergies are better.
During allergy season, my nose becomes x100 more sensitive, and trust me, I don’t have a sensitive nose. (I wouldn’t even sneeze from shaking pepper in my face normally)
Here’s a list of the weirdest things that have made me sneeze
The wind
Vaping
Rubbing my nose
Kissing someone
Drinking a fizzy drink
Grazing my tongue on the roof of my mouth
Like are you fkin joking me? What does a cold give you? A stuffy nose??? 😤
allergies are ELITE.”
see you next year 🤪
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minticecodes · 1 year ago
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I'm slowly getting through devil may cry v and got inspired enough to doodle again. Sure they aren't polished but I love looking at others' sketch dumps, it's like looking at a smorgasbord of ideas. So here you go. Read more for close ups of the other doodles. The ID in alt are the same as written in the text.
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[I.D. Digital art. A boy in a shirt hoodie, Nero, sits cross legged as he leans backwards to smile up at his companion. Said companion is a tall horned knight, Nelo Angelo, kneeling behind Nero. Nelo gazes to the side, but braces his broadsword by Nero, and his cape drapes around where Nero's sitting. Nero is rendered in light blue and red, Nelo is rendered in light blue, and they're brightly illuminated. End I.D.]
(Was thinking of 'Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please' by Indigomoods on ao3 while doing this one).
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[I.D. A number of digital art sketches, most prominently featuring Dante and Vergil from the Devil May Cry series. From top to bottom, right to left:
Headshots of two boys, Dante and Vergil. Short comic of a man (Dante) ruffling a boy's (Vergil's) hair. Sketch of two boys on a couch, one (Dante) looking concerned at the other (Vergil) in foetal position. Branches curl under the couch. Sketch of child Dante and Vergil in red and blue, running hand in hand. Thumbprint sized chibi child Dante and Vergil. Nero and Nelo sitting together.
Semirealistic headshot (DMCV Vergil) in blue. Boy (Dante) curled in a fire, and fire demon (SDT Dante) gazing at his palm against a black background. Loose sketches of a man's head, roughly scribbled out except one, and an angry cat with a sword. They're labelled in blue and red writing. Side profile of a young man in blues (DMC3 Vergil), face shadowed, a yellow ribbon curled in the background. Side profile of DMC3 Vergil. End I.D.]
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[I.D. 4 black and white digital pen cartoony sketches of child Dante and Vergil. Head and bust shot of a boy with slicked back hair and black turtleneck (Vergil) looking right. His brows are furrowed, eyes narrowed; he looks unimpressed. Below is a head and bust shot of a boy with shoulder length hair and white shirt (Dante) looking left with wide eyes and a fang toothed, wide grin. Centre close up of a cloaked boy (Vergil) glaring up, brow furrowed. His hair hangs over a shadowed face. One narrowed eye is visible. Right sketch is of a cloaked boy (Vergil) hugging a book to his chest, referencing a Visions of V panel. His one visible eye is wide as he gazes down with a small expression. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Coloured digital art over a black background. Two panels. Panel one is child Dante, arms hugging his legs as he sits within a fire raging around him. He's buried his face in his arms. Panel two is an adult Dante in his demonic SDT form. He gazes down at his clawed hand while the fiery core in his chest glows as the main source of light, casting shadows and red light against his armoured form. The tips of his claws seem to glow in the reflected light. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Messy sketch of child Vergil and Dante, running hand in hand. The two look at each other with smiles, Dante with a wide grin and Vergil with closed lips and determined brows. Their full expressions aside from the smile cannot be seen; Dante's hair whips back and covers his face while Vergil's face is eyeless. They're softly rendered in light blue and red, and bright lighting. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Messy sketch of child Vergil and Dante sitting on a couch, shot from behind the couch. Dante directs a concerned gaze to Vergil, his hand braced on the couch back as he leans closer. Vergil only looks down. His arms are curled around his knees. From the angle, his expression cannot be seen aside from a small frown. Under the couch slithers Qliphoth tree roots. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Chibi doodle of child Vergil and Dante, holding hands. Light blue and red ovals were airbrushed on the page, and a pen lined out their features. They have round cheek patches, like budgies. Vergil has a cartoony pout and a book tucked under an arm, labelled with a V; Dante has a toothy grin and is making a bunny ears hand sign. End I.D.]
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[I.D. 'DANTE' is evenly block printed in blue pen. Underneath are what looks to be the start of three portraits of Dante in black pen, but they're roughly scribbled out. The most detailed of the three scribbled out portraits is Dante's grinning side profile. He had sunglasses on. The only intact portrait is a shot of Dante from behind, from the chest up and face not visible aside from a grin. Carried on his back is the Devil Sword Dante, rendered in more detail than Dante.
Meanwhile 'VERGIL' is written in orange/red pen, but strikethroughed. Written above instead is 'PURR-GIL!!', an arrow pointing at a doodle of a cat holding a roughly drawn katana(Yamato). The cat is grimacing with furrowed brows. It has spiky fur on its head, a spiky curled tail, a thorn pattern on its arms resembling Vergil's coat sleeves, and fat round blushy cheeks. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Semirealistic rendering of DMCV Vergil from the neck up in three quarter view. He's painted in blues, with soft red shadows. He glares at the viewer, brows furrowed. His irises are a soft red, and he has eye bags. His lips are somewhat glossy. To the side is the blue color palette. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Stylised depiction of DMC3 Vergil glaring downwards in profile, from the chest up. He's rendered in blues, his face shadowed from the light against his back. Running over his skin are cracked gold lines, reminiscent of kintsugi. In the background curls a yellow ribbon in the same gold. He's wearing a sleeveless turtleneck and cravat. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Stylised black and white lineart of DMC3 Vergil glaring in profile, lips sneering, from the neck up. He's in a coat and cravat. End I.D.]
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[I.D. Messy comic.
Panel 1: DMCV Dante ruffling child Vergil's hair. Dante's face is out of the panel
Vergil (grimacing): "Dante!"
Panel 2: Vergil's staved off the hair ruffling, lifting up Dante's hand with both his hands. His brows are furrowed as he looks up at Dante. In the background is a laughing sound effect, that tapers off. 'HA HA ha...'
Panel 3: Adult Dante gazing down at child Vergil, arm hovering over him. His expression seems sad, despite the small smile.
Dante: ... I missed ya, Verge.
Vergil gazes up at Dante, a small question mark by his head. End I.D.]
#just a wall of rambly thoughts from a longwinded person here on out as a warning#devil may cry#dmc#dmc5#visions of v#artists on tumblr#visions of v spoilers#dmc dante#dmc vergil#nelo angelo#not tagging nero because i think anyone looking for him here wouldnt be satisfied#“holds head in hands” i love drama so much#I especially love characters with tangled relationships to their emotions and their loved ones so. yeah#this is also around the third time i started a game because of a music recommendation#...i think any dmc fans looking at this can guess what song started the downward slide to getting the fifth game#fun fact#it was the sibling unit who went 'add a tree behind the couch' leading to the implications there#they also guessed like#all the reveals around vergil's identities just looking at these doodles and hearing a bit about the backstory#which was funny to me. Man isn't subtle at all#I gotta learn how to do that thing where u can see extra artist comments if u click on a photo in a set. It doesnt seem like alt text?#i had extra Thoughts around some of these but didn't want to clog with extra text. Though they'd be summarised as 'handholding as a motif'#and 'aside from the original metaphor wouldn't it be fun for Dante to literally piece Vergil together again'#and when you wonder if he's acting right you wonder how much you really knew him#how much of his care is what you baked in as wish fulfilment#why can't you keep him from falling apart#something something houseki no kuni style visual shattering#something something Vergil has to do the heavy lifting to glue himself together#and the twins both have to understand each other (i.e. communicate) better for the pieces to stick instead of like#detritus getting in the way of a clean meld
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gjsxj0 · 4 months ago
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mindless rambling in tags don't mind me
#not art post#rambling in tags because i can and its MY BLOG#anyway its about tdp *waits* ok for the three of you that actually care#someone retweeted one of my threads from 2019 after s2 dropped (imo the BEST tdp season) and i reread it#and tbh i am still right about viren's characterization#obviously canon changed some things but TO BE REAL..... i dont care what the writers say bc i had beef since s3#how am i supposed to believe any viren and callum parallels and callbacks when they..... havent talked since when?#and uhhh viren's demise lol i expected it but wow i am not happy with the lead up to it#more cool and eloquent people put it in better words on twitter and probably tumblr too idk i just say things and hope they make sense#anyway viren is still the very real traumatized angry severely depressed old man from s2... his life was just revealed to be so much worse#like damn. he was poor he was orphan he got divorced and then a stupid mirror started ruining his life even more#yes the mirror was the start of it why do you think aaravos revealed himself after viren's firey break down#aaravos went i can make him worse and ran with it#should viren go to prison? yeah i never once denied that lmao but god he and his family were really the ones to suffer in the show#at least viren is gone so i can just *plucks him out of the dirt and morphs him into my own oc* (im for real)#i got maybe more to say but this is long and im lazy and im not too smart so i will just move on#i will watch s7................................... i GUESS and if you find salt i will probably be there lol
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frootbyethefoot · 5 months ago
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looking at the book of bill teaser where the pines family burns around ford while "we'll meet again" plays in the background. normal.
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whenthegoldrays · 2 months ago
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overthinking … nooo ……
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skunkes · 1 year ago
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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is-this-really--life · 1 month ago
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I think the conversation on tariffs is a lot longer than "they're always bad news" and honestly I think cost cutting measures these corporations take to rely on cheap foreign labor is a huge problem especially if there are american alternatives in which some level of labor rights are guaranteed. Idk... the conversation around tariffs has been weirding me out. Obv Trump's incentive of "beat China and make them pay" is dumb but I've always supported select tariffs on certain goods. Especially non-essentials. Certain things are not meant to be dirt cheap. The only reason so many things are dirt cheap is a reliance on outsourced dirt cheap labor. Exploited labor. Shouldn't we be discouraging that? Ideally gradually?
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sysig · 2 months ago
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months ago
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#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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colloquialcolors · 5 months ago
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in similar vein to reading watership down and being pleasantly surprised by how hopeful it was i have now finished reading haunting of hill house and have been kind of pleasantly surprised by how. sapphic. it was. i mean its a horror story and has left me with the correct sense of sort of quiet unease and like. im going to need to think about it for a while and like. damn. but it also was QUITE queer in ways i was not expecting going in. so thats fun! (said while thinking about houses and walls and unreliable narrators and dissolving sense of self)
#i shouldnt be surprised i saw this mentioned briefly but. i still am.#like the horrors are happening and are going to happen and thats what im here for but hey! gays. wow. crazy stuff#or maybe its just because i speed read half of verity and the amount of plot inextricably tied to the main character(s) being deeply in lov#w/ attracted to the leading man just makes this seem. refreshing. in comparison#like the gayness absolutely takes a backseat to the uhHhHhhhhH descent into madness and eleanor being consumed by(? merging into? returning#to? etc etc) the house. but. its also IN the backseat yk. like the obsession and the nature of the relationship with theo is an inextricabl#part of the story and its progression even if you choose not to read it as queer.#even if you dont percieve it as SAPPHIC per se its certainly. well. you know. its SOMETHING and IMPORTANT which is what i rlly fuck with#anyway. eleanor gets taken by the house and the walls and its all done using the maze in her mind or w/e. idk how to phrase any of my#thoughts abt this just yet but. fascinating. /fascinating/#sysreading#i guess#haunting of hill house#also theres a show? i knew bly manor was the . gay one but maybe? i should watch....? 🧐 horror show tho...#eleanor is so. flawed and so trapped in her own head and so much at the mercy of her own thinking. and it's hard to say how much of that is#the house influencing her vs the house simply using what is already there and amplifying#eleanor trapped- not just by the house but by her own thinking
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