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vitaminseetarot · 1 year ago

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PAC Pick a Song - What About You Currently Shines Brightest?

Sup y'all, I'm back in time for the start of Leo season with another pick a card reading! The full moon is coming right up and I will likely do a reading for that as well very shortly, but I already had this done the other day and wanted to get it finally posted after much delay!

Below here are three cards to choose from belonging to the now-obsolete board game DropMix. It was a game connected to an app now unfortunately no longer in service, but it allowed the game to play by having chips in the cards activate a code that would send to a phone app to tally points as well as play music. You could pile the different cards together on a jockey board based on color and basically create your own remixes. You could play or make freestyle music. My basic pack has as many cards as the minor arcana + 4, so I thought these would be fun to bring out and work with for the partygoing Leo energy that's budding this late summer.

1, 2, 3

Pile 1. The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face

Cards: Baroness (Fire, Leo); "I am in touch with my purpose and passion in life"; 7 of Swords, XIX Sun, XVIII Moon

(Okay just a quick note I just gotta let u know that I eventually plan to paint over the Sun card for my only RWS-esque deck because the smiley face creeps me out lol so I put a tiny candle over its haunting face. The Sun is supposed to be a positive card dangit!)

Anyway back to your reading! Right off the bat I feel like you're gonna be shining bright this season no matter how you personally feel about summer, get in the mood and live it up! Light that bonfire. Jump in the pile of autumn leaves. Tap into your senses in the most innocent and playful way. I feel like you shine brightly when you get excited about literally anything in your life, it could be a new brand of coffee or new pair of jeans or something but people like how you react to things. Reminds me of Youtubers who have these funny but authentic personalities as they review random products or whatever.

I feel like you can get so in love with something that you kinda, as the song suggests, "go numb" and let everything else fizzle away from your focus. But the thing to remember is that all those other things are still there even if they don't light you up. It's all about learning to find the sweet spot between really enjoying the moment and being in flow with the best of things while also attending to the gritty details. It doesn't mean you should "go numb" in the other direction by only focusing on practical things. When I see Sun and Moon in the same three card reading I am reminded of Temperance because you're trying to balance two different energies together that are ultimately meant to work together. Manifestation+work, joy+catharsis, reason+instinct, yeah? It's a lot to seesaw back and forth every day but 7 of swords tells me that you find ingenious ways to pull it off. Don't let the shyness snuff the light out, and don't let the egoic sense of duty override your needs.

If you feel like sometimes you have to sneak away to find time to enjoy what makes you shine from the inside, I'm getting guidance for the collective to simply learn how to share a little bit of what you're doing while balancing it with the part of you that wants to protect your creative ideas and work on them. Again, there's a message here about balance. You don't have to spill everything about your life to the first person who asks, but at the same time there will be people who benefit from your fiery energy. Your interests and talents deserve to take up some space, pile 1. I think this pile just shines in general even if you're not always aware of it, even if it's incredibly subtle. It's in the little things.

⊱ ──── {.�� ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 2. Evanescence - Bring Me to Life

Shield (Fire, Sagittarius); "I attract relationship in harmony with my authentic self"; 5 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles

This pile could be going through some awakening period right now. I know, I know, it may sound cliché with "wake me up inside" as the lyrics, but it occurred to me that the Shield in your card is like this old energy that has been barricading you from material experiences. Like this is a pile who's really already been in the thick of the brambles and is wanting to come out. The Sagittarius arrow sign is in my mind like a flare set off from deep in the woods as if to say, "hey! I'm over here, come find me!" It's being let off in the sky in the hopes of rekindling some sort of lost connection to something, could be a person or to a certain goal. You currently shine brightest when it comes to relating to others, and seeking out positive relationships.

It could be that you've gone through some disrupting experiences that have encouraged you to wall off to self heal. This may have taken a long period of time to work through. I feel that you're moving into a part of the thicket where more light is pouring in from the outside, that you're near the end of a long isolating tunnel. You're entering a phase of your life where you're ready to have connections that feel more solid and real, rather than fairweather friendships. You're looking for sustainability, for people to have some sense of loyalty with. People with whom you can truly enjoy the abundance of life. The main issue is that grief and isolation can becomes habits that we may need to temper with in order to allow the new. Forgive yourself when you still feel the need to retreat even as you begin to stand out more. Depending on how long it's been, it can be quite an adjustment.

Maybe abundance is coming a little slow here, as the green color here is blocky. But it's rich like emerald, so once it's found, things will transform in your life radically. It's saying that even if you identify as an introvert, there is still "treasure" to be found in building new relationships. It could be totally virtual. But you shine from making the most out of the opportunities that your current or as of yet undiscovered relationships have to offer. You have a lot to offer others as well. I do get a strong teaching role from this pile. Maybe you've thought about going into teaching. I think your students would see you as sensitive and resourceful.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

Pile 3. LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

Marigold (Water, Scorpio); "I am wise and wonderful"; 6 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups

Your reading is so clear to me, you shine brightest when you are fully present in the moment and loving what you're doing and who you're being. I don't think this pile likes to waste any time lol. I think you've had some hard experiences that have taught you how to value the time and resources you have, especially when you give this energy way generously. And I get the sense that you're learning how to manage both the philanthropy side of things with the personal fulfillment side. You're learning that one does not necessarily require the sacrifice of another. Compromise, maybe, but not at a net loss. You can give without overextending the hand, you can seek out bliss in life without taking it away from others.

This is not a common trait to shine in, pile 3. It's a mature place to shine, but not always easy to develop. It's required a lot from you right from the beginning. There were probably some things you had to let go to make it all work before. But it doesn't always have to be that way. Your ability to rise above the situation, brush the dust off your coat and move forward is what makes you shine. Although I'll say this: even if it looks like all is going well, you're still allowed to feel whatever grief is stored up inside you. It's part of moving past it in order to make the most out of the present.

Some of these experiences may have had something to do with your sense of confidence, your body image, how your present yourself to others, self-expression, and I'm also getting pretty privilege as a topic. Self worth over buying the right kind of things too… I think you're letting your hair down finally. You're letting some outdated ideas about your image go, you shine when you declare yourself to be beautiful and sexy "just because". Why does there need to be a reason? Some people might tell you that you, in particular, aren't "allowed" to feel good in your own skin and clothes. Some may get threatened by your confidence. But it's because that's where you shine and it's up to them to adjust their vision. Tell em to make an optometrist appointment if they can't handle seeing your presentation.

⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰⊱ ──── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ─── ⊰

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, Vitaminsee Tarot ™

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andypantsx3 · 10 months ago

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hi andie!

do u have any tips for corporate girlies? my friend is starting out in the corp world !! and got a lot of reality checks over how harsh and 'corporate' it is :((

Ohhhhh my god yeah corporate culture sucks!! It's just a bunch of adult babies using fancy words tbh lmao, acting like we're going to war and/or curing cancer when we're really just launching a product no one wants or needs lol.

Not sure what industry your friend is or what role she's in but here are some general tips, starting with practical project tips to more personal/sanity check tips lol.

Make sure you understand your organization's goals and success criteria. This is so basic but in order to understand what leadership cares about and how all the different project components fit in, you're going to want to learn what are all the active projects, who owns them, what success is being evaluated on, and how those performance indicators are being calculated. I work with some people who have no idea what is going on (which, fair) but it ends up creating a ton of churn and can look super bad for them if they are not in step with what our corporate overlords expect from them.

Clear communication is key. Never have I ever encountered more communication issues than working in corporate; people often have one image in their head of what a task looks like where their partner teams might have another, and if you don't outline all the key details together, you could end up delivering something unusable. If you're an individual contributor (aka a task doer), make sure you ask clarifying questions of the project leads if they haven't specified (like, what testing environment something needs to be deployed to, what are the release gating procedures, what is the expected timeline, etc). If you're a project manager, make sure you're clarifying those details with stakeholders and passing that information to your team; prompt your team to ask questions even if they seem clear, and make sure you get that info for them ASAP!!

Documentation is crucial. If you make an implementation decision, document it. If you have a delivery, document it. If you have a process for anything, make sure you document it. If you have a meeting, get those notes out. If you have an agreement with stakeholders, make sure you get it in writing and get them to sign off on it!! Information is key to helping other people understand what you are doing, why you are doing it, what the expectations were from other related parties when you started doing it, and how it can be improved if needed. If you're a project lead or manager, start a folder or repository somewhere for all project communications, keep all your emails & slacks with stakeholders (because they will come back being snotheads and you can politely whip out receipts). :3

Be proactive. Observe the kinds of questions leadership asks, understand their concerns & needs. Then proactively make sure you are addressing those things in your work and/or in your reporting. For example, if you're reporting on a release failure in a weekly business review, make sure you call out things like: 1) what you tried to do to prevent failure, 2) what the ultimate blockers or root causes of failure were, 3) what your learnings were from that failure, 4) what you are going to do to fix it, and 5) what the revised ETA is. That way, even though things didn't go your way, leadership understands you are on top of things and proactively working to solve problems.

Understand priorities & tradeoffs. There will come a time where you have conflicting demands on your time. Work with your manager or org leadership to understand what projects are higher priorities than others, and do not be afraid to escalate to your manager or above if progress is threatened or if you need to clarify. For example, Project A is high priority and Project B is medium priority, but the project manager from Project B is all up in your business asking you to deliver something or investigate something that you don't know if you have time for. Loop in your manager to determine if someone else can take Project B, or inform them that doing B will impose these anticipated risks to A; are they comfortable with that? Then you can circle back to Project B to deliver the news that you're working on A, your manager has suggested this revised timeline or other POC they can work with, and if they have concerns they can escalate. (Usually this shuts ppl up :3)

Improve processes. I cannot emphasize this enough but try to think about how to do things better the next time around, even if things went solidly to plan. Do not get defensive about your work or the quality of your work; always be thinking (or asking other people) about how time could be cut off of something, what processes could be put in place to minimize touchpoints or decrease risks. If you can, try to impose this mindset on your team & ask for project retrospectives, and take specific action items out of those retrospectives! Trust me it makes things so much clearer and easier in the long run if you work to make things better over time!!

Get a mentor. Find someone who has the job you want to have or who seems to know the things you want to know about and ask them to work with you on that! Tell them what your goal is, whether to develop a special skill set to move roles, or develop a specific understanding of a project or concept, and ask them to help you develop a plan to get there. Set up regular time together and goals to work towards in that time. This helps you learn things faster and gives you someone who can vouch for you when it comes time for yearly feedback, role changes, or promotions.

Create a personal portfolio. Keep track of all the things that you do; all the projects you are on, what your role is, what you were responsible for delivering, and what resources you created as part of that, whether it's project wikis, some script, etc. Keep your manager aware of it so they understand your value and have visibility on your work; you can leverage this when it comes time for role changes or promotions. Additionally try to make sure you're working on high viz or high value projects; this gives you even more leverage!!

Do not tie your self worth to your performance or your job title. At the end of the day capitalism sucks, corporations are evil, and none of this shit matters. Even if you don't do something well once, you can improve in the future, and even if your company doesn't see it/isn't a good match for your skills, you have value!!! They profit from keeping you underpaid, stressed out, and dejected, but you are not just a 'resource' or a cog in a machine. You are a person; you will make missteps from time to time but you bring more value to this planet and the people on it just by existing than these capitalist enterprises could ever. Do do not burn yourself out trying to please them, keep yourself open to other job options, and make sure you have a good friend/family support structure in place to reality check you!!

Idk how helpful this was but I hope there was a little something in there that your friend could use. If she has specific questions on anything I'm happy to help out too lol; that might give me more idea what specific aspect she is struggling with & how to help!

#ask andie

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theninthdoor · 20 days ago

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is there some type of decline in maturity in sk? these idols over recent times dont exactly uphold the most normal people in the idol scene in fact some of our faves barely finished school as it is and im thinking with tiktok aiding idols to be excused from putting real effort into something even if effort is put in there still seems much drama around them, be it made up from staff or another agency trying to sabotage another groups idol, lots of copyright claims, sex crimes and over the years having idols off themselves or be offed doesnt exactly bode very well and it generally seems very hmm shit its the only word i can think of to describe it.

is this why theyll never be taken truly seriously nor be up for a grammy? cause it seems like a literal hellhole and i truly question why parents willingly allow kids to sign up for it knowing that some idols have passed on youngish due to some extremes in the idol scene. its not somewhere id feel comfortable debuting i was debating the other day would u pick simon cowell or jyp?

if u wanted to debut in a group, yet theyre both equally awful but the idol scene reputation has gone down considerabely yet theyre still churning out groups and luring in the kids kinda sounds like something diddy would do. and if i had a child id absolutely say no no way would anyone allow child to endure what the other idols have had to endure. the thing is tho some of them genuinely suit being on the stage and in their groups they fit in well so its 50/50 but its still so weird how the parents are ok with what they let their kids do in terms of them wanting to be idols very young.

Frankly, I feel like there has been a maturity decline all over the world, not just SK - and yeah, I'm not sure if I would call it a "maturity" decline exactly, but more so an "intellectual" decline maybe? A "common sense" decline, perhaps? lol Once influencing and being a "social media personality" started to prove to be solid careers, where people could just do nothing major, know nothing much, and get tons of money off of being good looking, fitting into some sort of standard or catching people's attention somehow, that's when kids (and not only!) stopped wanting + seeing the need to pursue education (as a whole, and not just higher education) and to educate themselves on general matters. So, if people don't educate themselves and just follow these easiest paths to money and stability and success… you know... this is what we get. Plus, there's a dream being sold to these people, and the sick marketing behind it is what keeps the machine alive. Who would prefer to have a 9-5 job, working for someone else whom they might or might not hate, after wasting 3-6 years in university and all that? Being young (!!) and getting payed to travel the world, take some pictures, put on some cute outfits and making friends with relevant people just seems way better, no? When it comes to kpop, more specifically, though, it's pretty much the same thing, except here we have more of a giant, ruthless popularity contest - and that's what these idols are mostly being trained for. These companies have realized that being obsessed over by the public makes way more money than being talented or intelligent, and so that's what they are looking for and what they have in mind when they put out these groups. Everything's a product. It's rarely about the music; it's about how easy and well they are able to sell something. And here I wouldn't blame the industry completely or the parents and idols/trainees themselves, though. I think it's a 50/50 thing, really. And, of course, we have to keep in mind that the entertainment world has never been fair or particularly ethical! Everywhere you look, at any point in time, there is always something messed up that we know of already or discover. And then, as for the parents allowing their children to get into this business and them wanting to be in the business, despite knowing everything that happens or could happen, well… that's up to them. The risks are known. But, of course, when you start something new, you always try to be positive and to assume that nothing bad will happen, right?

#tqq

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white-weasel · 1 year ago

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Saw IV and V thoughts after my Saw Saturday movie viewing experience last night:

Really glad we got some new characters introduced into the series. It breathed a lot of life into things I feel like

Finally got to meet Hoffman and Strahm let’s gooooo! I knew that these were popular characters and honestly they did not disappoint

I cannot believe that John Kramer ate a fucking tape before dying. My friend and I were discussing how he did that so cleanly without gagging or choking and our only explanation is that he’s a throat goat

Rigg’s whole trial was rough man, but it was actually very interesting. Basically “You’re obsessed with saving everyone, so the only way you can win this gauntlet (and save your friends) is to let it go.” I think that this series of traps was MUCH more well done than the series of traps Jeff went through in 3 and they also did each feel like they were testing different aspects of the same “sin” so to speak.

Favorite of those trial traps was probably the one with the husband and wife and them being impaled. I thought it was clever in its theme and its conceit. Sometimes I look at some of these saw traps and go “okay so somebody just thought of the most fucked up thing they could for the shock value” but this was not one of those so I enjoyed that

The iceblock trap though? Amazing idea and execution on that shit. Just the concept of a melting block of ice slowly hanging someone while that melted ice water fills a pool that will eventually touch another person, thereby electrocuting them because there’s a current running through the pool? Very very cool. Plus the added mechanism that kills you if someone (Rigg) walks through the door. Very scary but very good

The puppet still makes me laugh. Him just sitting on the chair before (unfortunately) blowing up at Perez got me. My friend is convinced that I need a little Saw puppet for my apartment now, though I think having the actual thing and seeing it irl might freak me out

Not sure I *needed* to learn more about John’s past before his diagnosis and his descent into becoming Jigsaw, but I also didn’t absolutely hate it. I liked getting to see his ex wife at least and get an insight into his interpersonal relationships

I’m 50/50 split if I like John’s first victim being someone who personally wronged him and ruined his life. On the one hand, I think it does great to kinda show his own hypocrisy in all of this. He says it’s not emotional and these traps are meant to save his victims, and he does at least give him a way out, it did not seem like he really wanted to reform him and that’s interesting to me. On the other hand, I don’t think the movie presents this action or putting him in the trap this way so??? Yeah

My new motto for these movies is “If I don’t see you get murked on screen, you’re still alive somewhere.” Because I was *positive* Eric was dead before they revealed him, but, well, he’s certainly dead now I guess lol

The reveal this movie that it was all taking place at the same time as 3 and that Hoffman is Jigsaw’s apprentice was amazing. Absolutely brilliant, no notes at all

I really liked how Saw 4 and 5 basically felt like a TV show in that they were very obviously meant to be viewed together/feel like one continuous story. I’m assuming that production wise the studio knew that they had 4 and 5 guaranteed so they could leave some stuff for the next movie which I appreciated

(I’m assuming they knew they were at least getting a 6 too because we didn’t get any answers for what was in that box Jill got 👀)

Hoffman carrying that little girl out of the warehouse and being like “We were the only survivors :((“ only for Strahm to get wheeled out on the gurney literally seconds afterwards was so funny

Speaking of, I can’t believe Hoffman didn’t take Strahm’s pen from out of his pocket during the water cube trap. He took all his other stuff but it’s weird he overlooked that. Granted, I doubt that he knew that Strahm would perform a tracheotomy on himself but wow

I liked the backstory we got with Hoffman and how he came to know Jigsaw. The idea of a copycat killer designing his own “trap” but it really just being a way to murder someone he wants revenge on was marvelous. Then the whole part with John kidnapping him and teaching him his ways was also cool

(Hoffman tied up with the shotgun nestled right underneath his neck? Unfortunately kinda hot)

The trap gauntlet for the five people was fine. The first trap I was like “oh my god he’s telling you to all work together! Just go get your keys one by one or have someone get their key, unlock, and then get the next person’s after they’re unlocked” at least for that one though I can see why they panicked. The second one they had no excuses lol I literally said out loud “you can definitely fit at least two people in a cubby hole”. That one seemed sooo obvious, too obvious to at least not give it a try. I didn’t totally hate the set up though, just moreso me getting mad at horror movie characters lmao

And I get Hoffstrahm now lmao. Saw IV I was like “? They barely interacted what’s this?” And then we got the whole cat and mouse game in Saw V and went “Oh yup. There it is. Theres the dynamic.” Especially with the whole glass coffin bit at the end

Speaking of the glass coffin I loved that scene. Just the wasy Strahm shoves Hoffman into the coffin and you can see Hoffman start to gloat and taunt Strahm from behind the glass because he’s sealed his own fate? Amazing. No notes. I did have to look away at the end of the trap though because watching the Saw movies has taught me I cannot handle broken bones, especially when they are very prominent. As soon as I saw Strahm start pushing on the walls I went “I know where this is going” and dutifully turned my head away

Anyways Hoffman is an interesting new antagonist! I’m curious what’s gonna happen next in this little murder soap opera. Honestly, I hope that Agent Perez gets out of the hospital and fucks up Hoffman. She finds out that Strahm is supposedly Jigsaw, goes “wtf no I could never believe that” and starts trying to pursue the real killer

Current Saw movie ranking (giving this because I gave it to my friend after discussing Saw V and my thoughts on the franchise overall)

Saw (The og and the goat, don’t think anything will really topple this one. I was glued to the screen the entire time and loved how this one really focused on Adam and Lawrence, the people in the trap, rather than the killer himself. I feel a lot of future installments lack compelling trap victims which is kinda a shame)

Saw V (I liked the story of Hoffman in this and the cat and mouse between Hoffman and Strahm a lot)

Saw IV (This was a really well done trap gauntlet for the main portion of the plot and the ending reveal was so awesome. Lots of adrenaline pumping for this one, but it did get lowered because I’m still meh on a lot of the John Kramer additional backstory stuff atm)

Saw II (Saw II gave me so many issues ranking it because the final reveal was PHENOMENAL but the main game portion didn’t always work for me. I did like the idea of Eric’s game of just having to wait out the clock but I kinda count that as being a part of the final reveal and thus it can’t elevate the whole movie. There’s potential this and Saw IV could flip flop depending on my moods. This one just has higher highs but lower lows for me)

Saw III (I liked Amanda getting tested and the whole ending with the chain reaction of violence/death, but that’s about it. The main traps in this game did not do it for me, nor did the story connecting those traps. This one also just really felt that they needed to escalate the traps for escalation’s sake rather than to tell a compelling story, which I know is probably a dumb complaint for the gory trap horror franchise but idk I just didn’t like it)

#saw #saw franchise #saw series #sawposting #saw iv #saw v #white weasel talks #I scream about Saw

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blissfullybloomed · 3 months ago

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Letting Go

October 2024, Ohio - The leaves are in peak season. In case you haven't been outside in a minute.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, whatever time you seem to find yourself reading this blog.

I haven't written in a while here, life has been lifing.

If you’re just tuning in…lol, I watch too many Youtube Videos with my boyfriend, you'll love to know that this blog is about my journey, your journey, our journey together but separate through this little game they call life.

I think my last blog entry was almost a year ago, December 2023.

2023 was wild, and the previous 5 years were wilder…(hmm, is that a word)

It's funny, I keep saying that 2023 was the year I transformed into some sort of “better” being…but man, I feel like I could say that about 2024 as well. I think that's a lesson I had to learn quite recently actually…being better has no end date. We constantly strive to be better, even on the less productive days…we're still learning(being still isn't our strong suit). Did you catch that? Being better or improving has no end date…nada. The only way it does have an end date is when we stop trying to be better. We all know what happens when we stop trying. It's not a good look. Temporary pleasure for long term pain….Ehh, I'd rather not. So…we take a real deep breathe and blow it out, maybe take another one…and take a step forward.

Okay, enough preaching…lets chat about so many things…you know I like to talk.

First topic, lets talk about letting go. I'm pretty sure Ive spoke about letting go before, but I know I havent talked about it in this light. So buckle up…its going to be bumpy.

We, as humans, are social creatures. Some of us are on different levels than others, but inadvertently we are all social to some extent. Example: Gaming Online with friends(introverted activity/social concept). Another example: The obvious social butterfly who goes home alone. We all have different versions of what social looks like.

I almost forgot where I was going with that, but here it is…our social interactions are NEEDED to let go. We have to do something different to let go. We have to put ourselves outside of ourselves to let go.

It doesn't matter what or who it is that you are trying to let go. You can't negate your human nature. It's impossible. No one can sit in a room by themselves for an extended amount of time, and not go insane from lack of socializing. It doesn't even have to be vocal …just another person's presence brings your serotonin up.

Being social is in our roots as a species. So with that in mind, I want you to ask yourself this question: “ How can socializing help me move past Xcompany, Xspouse, Xhouse…etc.” Well youd get a job, you might meet someone new, and your house may get an upgrade….BUT, all of those things require you to let go of what or who once was.

You get the point.

Here's my “bloomed” story. The short one.

I have faced 2 big hurdles in my healing journey.

I have reconnected with my mother, we spent a week together, and were cool. As you know, that's huge for both of us. Wild ride getting there…like years long….but we did it, and I think we're in it for the long haul. Weve both done different things that we had never done to make sure our relationship stayed in tact. Even when we both wanted to walk away. I think the biggest thing that really showed me that she wasnt full of shit was the fact that her actions were bigger and louder than her words. She helped a friend of a family member that I NEVER thought she wouldve done….thats dope. She flew back for my birthday with like 3 days notice(I have a flair for the dramatics)...that was dope. She met Zach, and slept on our couch! YEAH! That right there gave me hellllllllla anxiety…but it was dope too.

So, in all seriousness, momma…I love ya. Life is hard, but without you it would be so much harder. I mean that.

Second thing, It took almost three years…but I went back to Myrtle Beach. Yeah thats different. So many reasons that y'all already know of why I couldn't go there…I just needed more time or something. OR so I thought.

Listen, the drive was about 10/11 hours, but my favorite part was the last hour. I drove through a city I hadn't seen in over 5 years, and the funniest part….when I saw it…I just started laughing.

I couldnt tell if it was my anxiety making me laugh or the fact that I was a better human fucking being entering this city now 5 years later. I think it was a combo of both honestly. I cant begin to describe what that felt like…I'm trying... .I can't find the words. Speechless. Hmm, maybe profound is a word that could describe it.

Anyway, I knew at that very moment that I could do this trip with no problems at all. I forgot how much I loved the south. All of it, even the heat…to a point.

What a relief. I let go. I had let go before I even knew I had let go, because I refused to test myself . I was so scared of things I had built up in my mind that would definitely , not probably, happen. I knew I'd run into my ex husband somewhere, in a town full of tourists, and millions of people…that was an irrational thought that dictated a decision I made. I knew, without a doubt, that I would remember the pain of losing my sister as soon as I entered South Carolina. That didn't happen either. I saw shiny roads, pine trees, and the ocean….as she got to experience those things too. Mom was so good at making sure she was included.

Irrational thoughts and manic actions had in one way form or another prevented me from letting go. Letting go of the what if’s, and just being present. Remembering that I had loved the ocean before I got married or divorced. South Carolina wasn't a failure…it made me grow. I literally wouldn't be who I am today….without South Carolina. So my mom inadvertently helped me discover one of the biggest hurdles I've dealt with since my divorce. Kinda dope she did that too.

HA! I said it was short, I lied. My bad.

Alright, what else is there to update? Zach and I are doing great. I could probably write a whole page about that man…but I won't embarrass him like that. Just know, he is still IT. I knew it the moment we met. Funny…I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night, but I can remember what we both were wearing the day we met over a year ago. Damn, I love this man.

We've taken some trips recently that were pretty dope. We do so much together…I'm truly happy about that, as we've both said work gets in the way of hanging out. Das love right there. Like actual love. The kind where you both put effort in to make it work. I feel we are extremely lucky , we understand each other in a way no one has ever understood me ... .sorry family…but not even you guys. He just gets it. All of it. I get him too. Our lives intertwined at the perfect moment for both of us. We needed each other, and still need each other.

Okay, okay…Ill stop gushing. I tend to do that often.

Moving forward…the thing I want you to take away from all of this- learn to let go better. Learn to let go permanently. Do it for yourself. Think of all the time you're wasting not doing something different to overcome whatever IT is. Be selfish. Choose YOU. You're the only one that can do the work …and honey, its work. Every day. Every decision. Damn near every thought has to be pushing you towards your goal of letting go.

I want to end with this poem by Stefanie Briar, “ Surrender”

One of the hardest lessons

Is learning the difference

Between when to hold on

And when to let go.

At some point,

We have to trust

That souls know their way home.

What is meant for you will find you ….

And stay.

I think that sums up pretty well how to view letting go. This was good today. I appreciate you taking the time to read…and hopefully youll think of something you can just let go.

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bbboar · 2 years ago

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weird asks: ALL hehehe

chaotic good, i love it!!

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Dont rly have comfort characters but during the 2020 lockdowns Breq Imperial Radch was my comfort character bcs i was going through some shit and she was a force of nature and justice Basically i get why Seivarden was down bad.

lighter or matches? Dont smoke

do you leave the window open at night? Absolutely not. It does not close properly and theres spiderwebs outside!

which cryptid being do you believe in? None of them but love to hear stories

what color are your eyes? Brown

why did you do that? What?

hair-ties or scrunchies? Ive never used a scrunchy so i cannot judge effectively

how many water bottles are in your room right now? Only one (i have 2 metal water bottles, one for home and another for work)

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? Depends on the season! Hot for winter but cold for summer.

would you slaughter the rich? i understand the craving for violence but personally i think it would be more torturous to have them watch as their wealth is redistributed and they have to live like normal people and work and have a budget and shit lol Like i know i doesnt sound bad but the way some of these people live....theyd be crying screaming shitting throwing up etc

favorite extracurricular activity? Girl im 27, i dont go to school anymore. All my activities are extracurricular

what kind of day is it? Thursday. Actually its after midnight so its Friday now

when was the last time you ate? Like 5 hours ago, i had some chocolate

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? Yeah!!!

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) no

can you drive? No but god do i need to learn to make my life easier

are you farsighted or nearsighted? Neither to my knowledge

what hair products do you use? Lmao none?? Unless im curling my hair and using hair spray. Oh i also use a hair mask each time i shower.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? omg of course, bestie!

do you say soda or pop? Im Australian, i say fizzy drink

something you’ve kept since childhood? I have a sonic tshirt that ive had since i was 12 years old and i will not throw it away until it comes apart

what type of person are you? Vampire coded werewolf

how do you feel about chilly weather? I get sad when the weather starts getting colder bcs summertime is my favourite, but after that transition period, i think its fun to go into cozy mode! I love my big comforting jackets and my oodie and having tea every day.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? Looking at the starts, laughing, having deep conversations.

perfume/body spray or lotion? Personally i dont use perfume or body spray. The only lotion i use is moisturizer bcs my skin is dry

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? So many of them, lets not get into it

about how many hours of sleep did you get? Yesterday? Probably ~7

do you wear a mask? Yeah although not as much as i used to ngl

how do you like your shower water? Warm.

is there dishes in your room? Nope. The most there is at any given time is 1 tea mug and maaaybe a plate if ive had a snack or smtn

what type of music keeps you grounded? This doesnt apply to me

do you have a favorite towel? Not really?

the last adventure you’ve been on? Took public transport to an area id never been before last week. To me thats an adventure lol

is there a song you know every word to by heart? Yeah, theres a bunch where as soon as they start, ill know all the lyrics and be able to sing along but if the song isnt playing? Head empty.

what’s your timezone? Australian Eastern Standard Time

how many times have you changed your url? Over 5 for sure

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? Damn i think ive known Kieran Teeniepaws for 10+ years (Kieran if youre reading this sorry for not tagging you, this post is sooo long)

a soap bar that smells good? I dont use bars of soap??? I dont find them that practical. But ive sniffed a lot of them in shops and like 80% of them smell rly good

do you use lip balm? I have to bcs my acne medication gives me super dry lips

did you have any snacks today? Yeah i had some chocolate after dinner

how do you take your coffee? I just have a regular latte no sugar unless its more bitter than im used to. Then 1 sugar

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? Twitter lol, podbean, spotify, youtube and as of recently pokemon go

what’s your take on spicy foods? i love spicy food! i actually bought some sriracha the other day bc i missed having it

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? who are you? The fbi? Im not going to tell you

can you remember what happened yesterday? woke up, took the bus, went to work, kept thinking about touchstarved (game) while at work, tried to play some sneaky pokemon go during work bcs i ran out of pokeballs and needed to spin the local pokestop to get more, went home, made dinner, made a touchstarved thread on twitter, went to sleep

favorite holiday film? Not to be a grinch but i dont like holiday films and im sooo sick of the xmas films that come out every year.

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Pretty sure i was 14,i had a glass of wine and fell asleep almost right after lol

can you skip rocks? I think its fun to do but i am bad at it

can i tag you in random stuff? If youre a stranger? No. If youre a mutual, sure! Go ahead.

#thanks naja #boogerwookiesugarcookie #ask #reply

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ryuuaka713 · 4 years ago

Text

Bungou Stray Dogs Dead Apple: “You used corruption, believing in me? How Beautiful.” A “DISSECTION” OF THE SCENE

I mentioned before in one of the posts by @nataliaphantomhivesblog, where we were discussing about the corruption scenes in BSD, that the scene in Dead Apple is my favorite. So, I decided (like any SKK trash) to make an “analysis” of that scene, just to make a point why I like it the most compared to the other corruption scenes (as if this post is the definition of being productive like I’ll just wasting my time rambling here LOL)

I divided this post into two parts. Part 1 is the more difficult one where I am attempting to write some “character analysis”. While Part 2 is more about how the scene is composed (it’s pretty boring. I’m sorry)

I will NOT include the infamous Lap scene (I know. I know. We all love that moment. But I would rather focus on the scenes before that).

Side note: I do not specialize in film or literary critique, so really this whole post is just for fun. Thus, why I put quotes on the analysis. Take this is as my personal opinion where I’m attempting to make sense by making it sound “fancy”.

But anyway. Here it goes:

In every Corruption scene, the thematic notion is always Trust—as in Chuuya trusts Dazai well enough to use his ability so long as he is present to nullify it. It is a very life-threatening process, especially for Chuuya since Corruption, despite being one of the most powerful abilities, can cause self-destruction the longer he uses it. So, Dazai should keep a close watch on him at all times, and then even giving him a sense of comfort to compensate to Chuuya’s worn-out body and for his efforts. This is the same trajectory in all 5 episodes of Corruption, but out of all of them, what stood out the most (for me) is the scene from Dead Apple.

This scene has amazed me ever since I first watched the movie. And while it just shows their infinite trust, the whole execution of this scene evokes more than just that thematic concept. What I see in this scene is something that all of us have already witnessed, but there is something unique in the way Dazai nullifies Chuuya’s corruption, and their dialogue may be just them bantering and yet, their tonality is different. It is as if, we just touched a moment that is reserved only for these two and we just happened to have the privilege to witness it. In other words, there is a sort of familiarity (or intimacy) and gentleness going on at this very moment—it is cathartic. This is what I want to look into—like how did we come to this?

PART 1: His Proper Partner.

In the Japanese version, ever since the episode where Chuuya made his first debut, they call themselves “aibou” (相棒), referring to a one-on-one partnership. While “nakama” (仲間)can also refer to a partner, it has a different connotation in which the closest English equivalent of that term would be “comrade” or “acquaintance”. The closest English equivalent of “aibou” is, to no one’s surprise, “partner” (or “pal”). And it makes sense, considering that the first kanji (相) can mean “mutual”, “together”, or “each other”. So, to have Dazai and Chuuya referring to themselves as that, it just manifests their familiarity on each other.

And in their case, their “familiarity” is both their advantage and disadvantage. It is a “disadvantage” because they use it to get on each other’s nerves (both in comedic and serious situations).

However, it also serves to their advantage, especially when they have to cooperate in the battlefield. This comes into light in the Lovecraft Episode where they executed Operation Shame and Toad—Chuuya acknowledges Dazai’s tactical mentality, whereas Dazai (as he referenced Chuuya’s mastery in martial arts) let’s his partner do the grunt work. Interesting enough, this is the same episode we first see Chuuya’s Corruption (but not the first time he uses it).

Using Corruption stipulates that “familiarity”, especially in Dazai’s part who has to be present to monitor Chuuya’s physical state, therefore he is aware, not just the consequence in using Corruption, but also of Chuuya’s limit. This explains why Dazai declares that he is aware of Chuuya’s moves and “breathing pattern”, otherwise, as what he himself says, he “won’t be a proper partner”.

What is witnessed in the Lovecraft Episode is the standard protocol that Soukoku uses when they are at their last resort. So, it is not a surprise that we get to witness Chuuya using Corruption, again, when he saves Dazai in Dead Apple, except it is done differently.

Even though Dazai is ten steps ahead of the enemy, the situation is still risky and even more complicated in Chuuya’s part since he is using his ability WITHOUT Dazai present. And that he has to save Dazai first before he can get it nullified. With that being said, it requires a careful approach, one in which they know the other’s moves—Dazai knows too well how Chuuya would react. For instance, the manga version of Dead Apple demonstrates how Soukoku communicates in their operation using “codes”. As such when Dazai got himself kidnapped, no one knew about his whereabouts until Hirotsu mentions about Dazai buying a microscope (to which it leads them to a dead end). However, Chuuya—upon remembering that Dazai teases that he needs a microscope in order to see him—demands to see that microscope, breaks it, and finds the transmitter. It is a well-planned strategy in Dazai’s part where all it takes is to leave helpful clues for Chuuya to pick up and catalyze the operation. In the Dead Apple movie, he does it again:

Indeed, for the audience, it is not new to see Dazai planning ahead and having ulterior motives behind his actions. It is not new to see Chuuya executing his plans and understands his motives either. But seeing these two working together despite those four years of absence, and without physically communicating is beyond human comprehension. Almost like the microscope scene, Dazai is not there to directly tell him about his plan. Chuuya doesn’t know about the antidote until that punch as his only “clue” is that Dazai is working alone, so he sees that something is amiss.

Seeing the critical state of Yokohama, Chuuya knows that he will use Corruption, but seeing Dazai’s corpse, it gives this uncertainty on whether they can make it out alive or not. And yet, what did Chuuya do? He jumped off the plane and activates his ability, knowing that there is “no time to chicken out” or else Dazai’s plan won’t work, and they’ll end up dead. Even if it means doing the job to protect the city, it still takes guts for Chuuya to work and place his life on someone he “hates”. Despite those 4 years of absence, the scene in Dead Apple just manifests that they never doubt each other’s capabilities. And to further validate this, let’s check out their dialogue:

Dazai: You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful.

Chuuya: Yeah I did. I believe in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.

Dazai: That was a somewhat violent way to wake up Snow White.

Chuuya: Tch. You’re the one who hid an antidote your mouth knowing I would punch you.

Not only does this scene perfectly parallels to the Lovecraft episode where we see Soukoku bantering while still in a critical situation, it also emphasizes the degree of their trust and how that trust has taken root from their familiarity.

Dazai: You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful.

Chuuya: Yeah I did. I believe in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.

Dazai’s first line is the main idea of their partnership, echoing Chuuya’s quote from the Lovecraft episode: “I used Corruption because I trust you”. This is a vital aspect in their relationship since it has been stated before in Fifteen and Stormbringer that “no one has trusted Dazai”… until Chuuya comes into the picture. Ever since their first teamwork against Rimbaud, Dazai finally has someone he can rely on both in strength and assurance, even smiling at the fact that Chuuya doesn’t even deny his proposal but merely asks for his reason.

With that being said, then it is appropriate for Dazai to say that line, touched by the idea that Chuuya still constantly trusts him. It just reminisced so much from what they have as children that it seems to this day, they never forgotten about it.

On the other hand, in Chuuya’s end, he confirms that trust and provides a reason, which is appropriate since Chuuya is Dazai’s “reason-living” like in Fifteen:

Chuuya’s line—“I believe in your disgusting vitality and craftiness”—is very similar in the excerpt from Fifteen, and this just shows how that line from the movie indicates his familiarity to Dazai. By “familiarity”, I mean that he knows his partner’s mental process and motives (as I have mentioned above). In this case, it seems like Chuuya has seen something that he and Dazai have in common: the desire to live. Of course, the latter always craves for death, but with his new viewpoint on Death, his mission in fulfilling Oda’s wish, and the fact that he is tethered to someone who wished to live, Dazai just couldn’t die. And Chuuya, being his constant companion, knows this. This is why Chuuya “believes” that whatever plan Dazai has on mind, it will always work, and in the scenario in Dead Apple it starts by taking a leap into Corruption—which is ironically, the very thing that could kill Chuuya, and by extent, would cause Dazai’s death if the plan is not well-thought or if they don’t work together. By referring to his “vitality and craftiness”, Chuuya is acknowledging his familiarity on Dazai, admitting their “rotten relationship”, and justifying his trust on him.

Dazai: That was a somewhat violent way to wake up Snow White.

Chuuya: Tch. You’re the one who hid an antidote your mouth knowing I would punch you.

Another interesting thing I find in the dialogue is Dazai’s line: “That was a somewhat violent way to wake up Snow White”. Fans think that this is Dazai flirting, where he is implying that he wants to be kissed by Chuuya the same way the prince does to Snow White. For me, I think this little dialogue is more than just fanservice since it makes sense, not only in the context of the movie containing motifs of a “poisoned” apple. I think the reference of the fairytale in this dialogue not only foreshadows his “death”, but it also highlights their dynamic whenever they work together with Dazai acting childish and Chuuya knowing that he is actually being serious (or the fact that he cracks some jokes in most Post-Corruption scenes). This is still related to the whole “familiarity” theme that I have been rambling about; as mentioned before, Dazai and Chuuya would use whatever they know about each other just to rile each other up. These moments are generally meant for comedic effect, but these teasing and bickering can serve as their advantage.

Similar to the microscope scene I have mentioned, Dazai makes that microscope comment seem like a childish joke on the surface, however, Chuuya picks this up as a clue and sees his real motive. This kind of synergy is seen again in the prologue of the movie where Dazai jokes about Chuuya getting hit by bullets when he is in close range of the enemy, and yet, the latter takes it as a warning that an ability-user is nearby. We really don’t know if Dazai leaves a Snow White-related clue for Chuuya before the events in Dead Apple (it would have been pretty cool tho), but that dynamic in the microscope incident and prologue is very similar to that dialogue we see in the movie: Dazai is being playful, but Chuuya sees and calls out his ulterior motives. This is how Soukoku works!

PART 2: The Art of Catharsis

The relationship of Soukoku in the battlefield is one of the best teamwork we have seen in the anime. Both parties are synchronized in the way that Dazai’s brains and No Longer Human, and Chuuya’s fighting skills and Corruption perfectly compliment each other. Moreover, we also see the basis of that partnership, and this is something that the creators want to highlight in this scene (in other words, how did the animators deliver this dynamic?)

In my opinion, I think the words “gentleness” and “cathartic” fit in this scene. To start off, before this moment takes place, we have witnessed Chuuya fighting the Dragon.

That scene was intense! Chuuya activates Corruption, generates into pure destruction with him yelling Dazai’s name (despite the fact that he is not supposed to be in a proper mindset). The way this scene plays out is interesting; in the shot, we see the two main figures (the Dragon and Chuuya) mostly in red—which is a very vibrant color—in contrast to the blue and green background. By using the color that pops out, the attention is on them, and it is topped with the amount of action in that moment. Not to mention, the background music, containing a rock music and a rap, elevates that energy. It is a scene that heightens the adrenaline, so the audience can empathize with Chuuya—understanding him as a character that is full of life, and also his hastiness to kill it before he runs out of time.

When that fight is over, we notice that the music alters into a string orchestra. This is a very good change because the tempo is slower—a direct contrast to the rap music—as if it is slowly bringing the audience down from the hype in the fighting scene the same way Chuuya slowly goes down and hovers Dazai’s body. The music immediately stops right on cue when the punch happens, then the audience is left in silence. Usually in films, silence is used for the purpose of anticipation. In this case, the anticipation is placed on whether Chuuya’s punch and/or the pill worked and saved Dazai.

The transition from the white background into a blue background should indicate that Dazai is alive. And yet, the animators did this subtly rather than showing Dazai’s face (like in Season 1 episode 1), just so the audience is still in the state of anticipation (add that with the white noise in the background). Furthermore, there is a fairytale quality in that shot, like this is similar to when Sleeping Beauty (in this case “Snow White”) wakes up, that’s when the colors in the castle come back.

Getting close to that iconic shot, I love how the animators keep the “camera” in the same place (Chuuya’s face), that way we can further empathize with Chuuya by seeing a close shot of his state: he was at his limit! But as soon as the blood starts moving away from the screen, we can see a bandaged hand moving to his face. And then, finally!

Words cannot describe how much I appreciate the details of that scene, especially on Dazai’s gesture. He moves his hand slowly but quick enough to nullify him right on time. Not to mention, he does not just touch his cheek but rather cups it (look at the shape of his hand!). One can say that the gentleness in Dazai’s gesture is the exact opposite to Chuuya’s punch, and this sort of contrast further highlights the catharsis in this scene. In other words, after all of that intensity with the fight and seeing Chuuya’s bloody state, it is relieving to see that familiar hand touching him, indicating that Chuuya can rest. And seeing that we witnessed and empathize with him, we know what it feels like.

With that being said, that’s why the third shot above where the hand is fully placed on his cheek and he made a short gasp is my personal favorite. It is the contrast in Chuuya’s face where we can still see “Corruption”, and Dazai’s hand to which he activates “No Longer Human”. I have seen some people complaining about how they want to see Dazai’s face in this scene; personally, I think this scene is animated brilliantly as it is. It is only fair to see a close up of Dazai’s hand to indicate that he is nullifying “Corruption”, after all, “No Longer Human” is works through touch. To top it off, the beauty in “not seeing the face” is more powerful because it leaves more to the imagination—we don’t know specifically what kind of face Dazai is making, but the way that hand moves alone is enough to tell us what he is thinking at that moment. And finally, upon contact, we see Chuuya making a slight twitch—this is when Corruption recognizes No Longer Human and deactivates. This is when Chuuya recognizes that familiar touch and knows that his partner is finally awake, so he can finally rest.

Then we have that iconic shot! Like the one I mentioned above, the camera stays in one place, only this time, it is a long shot, so the focus is on them (thus they are on the middle). Interesting enough, there is no background music in this scene, and we can’t see their expressions. Usually, in this anime, when a character is seen faceless, in order to determine what they are thinking are feeling, the animators would usually make them do a gesture or a dialogue.

In this scene, where everything is silent and their faces “unseen”, our focus goes to their exchanges. Both Mamoru and Taniyama use their “bedroom voices”, and I think it is appropriate considering that their dialogue contains a deeper meaning in regards of their relationship. In other words, as mentioned before, it may seem like another day of bantering, but with their tone, there is something sincere and intimate in what they are saying. Also, the playfulness in Dazai’s comment and Chuuya’s response hits different compared to their other moments of constant yelling. You really don’t need the close up of their faces in order to see that they are at peace in each other’s company.

In addition, the color scheme of the scene is predominantly blue, which makes sense, not just because of Dazai’s ability, but also because it highlights the serenity in the scene. The blue color, the orb, and the bandages that glide silently are animated in a way that they buffer out the red that we have seen back with Corruption, and also indicates a sense of “protection” (which is later seen in the lap scene when Dazai has to protect Chuuya from the fog). In short, the ambiance perfectly fits with how Dazai is there to give Chuuya a sense of comfort in Post-Corruption, letting him rest so that he can compensate for all that he did.

**********

The scene in Dead Apple is something that lies in between of the familiar and the new—we have seen Dazai and Chuuya in this situation before, we know how they function as a team, and we know the level of risk they are taking. But this is something that we have never seen before; like subtleness in his gestures, the softness in their tones, and the fact that these two are in a position where they are saving each other, which becomes part of their instincts. They show how much they trust each other by knowing how much they knew of each other. They acknowledge the fact that their fates are tethered regardless of the years of absence. And finally, it is not just the Prince saving Snow White, but rather: the Prince saves Snow White and Snow White saving him in return.

OK, I just literally fried my brain. If you’ve read this far, I thank you so much for your time! I am so sorry if this is too long. I welcome for any critiques or discussions. So yeah, that’s my ted-talk

#soukoku #bsd #bsd analysis #dazai x chuuya #skk #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd manga #bsd dead apple #dead apple #bsd fifteen #bungou stray dogs #I dont even know if this makes sense #That moment when I said that I can make a five-paged essay of this and realized it's no longer a joke (*ﾉωﾉ)

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guerrerajaguar · 3 years ago

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Cutie... I want to say that you are fluffy and I'm hugging you now and braking your bones. It's sounds agressive but it's not!!!

Thanks for answer my requests in the most perfect way, that fanfics, Kyojuro, Uzui,My Gyomei ahhh NO WORDS ARE NEEDED!!! Your mind it's a amazing fount of entertainment... Flower, can I ask something????

CEO KYOJURO.... X Fem Reader

She should not get his attention... As she it's just a employee, she did some mistakes, and let's say he underestimated her at first...but the flame handsome guy got hit buy her atitude after... he was a bit arrogant( yeah I know it'snot canon but it'sAU and he grownup in a differentcontext) and as these situations are getting worse... suddenly she said in a rage tired moment. (That you gonna decide, can be a real drama where he tries even say humiliate words) and she let out all in her mind 》》

She shout: "I'm leaving this company, fuc.k. u"

😶 Yeahhh because in this AU Kyo hits different. His eyes are wide...No ones never talks like this with him... Someone have a lot to think... A nice inside guy of him guy awakens, someonewhat we know better, our old Kyo, thinking abouthis life and what kind of person he should be.... So he realizes something...

" What this woman did to me?"

She live alone, she is independent.

Now she is already working in another place.

Kyojuro feels that something it's missing on his life... But... Well, she it's not so open to his presence.

And now??? What you super writer will do????? Darling...Do whatever you like... Some ideas pop on my mind and I'm spreading everywhere, because I'm lazing to write... lol

And if you do a CEO GYOMEI I'M GONNA DIE FOR SURE, BUT PRETEND YOU NEVER SEE THIS 😏

Luv yae and you know that right??? Hugs and kisses, lots of them 💓💓💓

I think you remember this guy's haha

My Darling I love you so much, I am afraid I will receive all your affections in the most lovable way possible <3. You were the one who inspired me to write, I was so shy about it, so I will never ever be able to let you know how grateful I am to you . I love you so very much <3.

So this is fantastic, I had a lot of ideas and I hope that you love this as well. Since I poured some personal experiences in this, I will make it into a 2 part or maybe 3 parts request.

I am thinking about CEO Gyomei in Y/N's new company?

I did felt a little bit weird writing Kyo with such a horrible personality, but as we say in Mexico: Give the customer whatever she requests.

Ohhhhhh yes that icon is so cute and breathtaking at the same time! hahaha Love it, nooooooow its mine <3

Can't wait to see your reaction ! Lots of hugs and kisses <3

CeoKyojuro x fem!reader (Part 1)

Warnings: Angst, swearing and humilliation.

ceoKyojuro x fem!reader part 2

You were tired, so fucking tired as work kept piling up non-stop, you felt like you could not stand it anymore. Lately you barely made it back home; just to take a bath, eat some fast ramen and sleep for less than 5 hours before going back to work the next day. You could not understand what was wrong with the Beta Prototype. You designed it, ran advanced simulations and analysis along with your other expert peers. It just did not make any sense.

Your manager was pretty reasonable regarding this problem. She knew that you and the rest of the team were doing everything humanly possible to solve the issue but it was just a matter of time for the CEO to get involved in this. He was a really nasty bloke, really full of himself mistreating everyone in the office at every chance he had. Just being slightly refrained by a human resources “warning”, although he knew he was ‘untouchable’ so his unprofessional habits kept going on.

Mitsuri Kanroji, as your manager, had received most of Kyojuro’s rants; about how inefficient your team were, about how long you took for designing a product and launching it to production and how bad of an image your team gave of the company with the customer. She was the sweetest person in the office, so naturally your blood boiled every time she came out from his office absolutely ravaged by his rude wording. Nevertheless, she never ever responded back to him and honestly who will? He was the CEO.

Several times you had suggested improvements in the company’s processes, designing and testing methods, components substitutions, alternative prototypes for unveiling these types of failures earlier in the development stage in order to avoid these dead end situations. But you were never heard even once, you knew Mitsuri shared your ideas but she was all the time blantly turned down with most stupid excuses you’ve ever heard.

-”Honestly, not wanting to invest in pre-design prototypes due to TIMING? Are you kidding me, he wants to talk about timing? How can he be so oblivious to HIS own process?” You claimed angrily during lunch, after your last meeting, to your best friend at the office; Giyuu Tomioka. He was calmly eating his bento box sitting right in front of you, listening carefully to your conversation and offering you bites from his food from time to time in order to make sure that you were eating at least something.

-”I am serious Tomioka-san…. hmmmn…” You were interrupted by him placing rice in front of your mouth. “This man's only job is making mine harder! He wants the fastest of results and resolutions and he doesn’t even… hmmmm…” This time he offered you some salmon daikon.

-”Giyuu…!” You complained in exasperation as he mouth feed you a small bread piece.

-”He doesn’t even know how the product works?” He calmly completed your phrase as he handed you a green tea bottle. You rolled your eyes with a smirk, taking a sip of your drink.

-”Yes! It’s like he did not want the job to be done…” You sighed as you crossed your legs and rested your chin on the palm of your right hand, looking at your friend with a concerned expression.

-”We all know that Rengoku is an arrogant tyrant, there is nothing new about that. But Y/N, you need to take better care of yourself, you barely eat or sleep. I know how dedicated you are, but no job is worth falling sick for.” He said while offering you half a slice of his strawberry cake. “You will figure it out, as you always do. I am positive about that”. He said with a very soft smile, almost imperceptible.

After 2 years you were still unsure of how you and Giyuu could be such good friends, having such different personalities. But still, he knew you best in the office and knew how capable you were. So, for at least half an hour you forgot about what was troubling you and lightheartedly talked with him about going to the movies together the upcoming weekend.

You came back from lunch in such a good mood that you did not catch how anxious Mitsuri was acting when she approached you, asking you for your latest updates on the issue since your last meeting; which had just happened less than an hour ago.

-”Mitsuri-san, that was barely an hour ago…” You stared at her with concern, knowing that this question came from the upper management. “The status is the same as our previous meeting, although I have a couple of ideas we could try…”. You were interrupted as Kyojuro summoned you to his office with his characteristic yelling. Everybody stopped what they were doing to stare at you, you felt a big adrenaline rush building up in your chest. This was it, now you will be bad mouthed by that presumptuous blonde.

-”Yes, Rengoku-san?” You asked him in a neutral tone, barely entering the room.

-”Sit down” He demanded in a very impolite way. “Explain to me how it is possible that incompetent personnel such as you and your team are kept on the payroll?” You blinked in disbelief, words not really sinking in. You shook your head trying to clear your mind for answering him back.

-”Rengoku-san, this issue is very critical. If not properly approached we could face serious legal backlash, we are talking about electromagnetic interference international standards. We are taking the recommended approach for finding the root cause and in fact…” He interrupted you:

-”I know how important this is, I am not an IDIOT!” He was starting to raise his voice yelling at you. You felt anger starting to build in your chest.

-”Yes… so then you will understand that finding the root cause is an equally delicate and intricate matter…” You said, trembling in anger.

-”What I don’t understand is HOW THE FUCK a bunch of stupid people like yourself and the other idiots of your team manage to make this company look bad without any retaliation, is just like we were REWARDING MEDIOCRITY!” That was it, everything sink in, who the fuck this air headed thought he was? The CEO yes, but he was so ignorant regarding everything that was designed at the company that you bit your lip for not answering him back as he continued ranting:

-”Plain stupid, only looking to excuse your incompetency. I am absolutely certain that you were completely ignorant about this subject when you designed that PIECE of SHIT. No wonder it does not WORK…!” That was it, you did not needed to go through this; you would rather be unemployed for the rest of your life than having to endure this lunatic moron for another minute.

-”No… You know what IS REALLY STUPID? Having an IMBECILE OF A BOSS, who is so ignorant THAT HE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW HOW HIS OWN processes work. NOT even the basics and being the idiot he is, he does not have a single clue of how his FUCKING products function.” He was absolutely speechless, no one had ever talked back to him. His fiery amber eyes were so big in surprise that he felt an unpleasant sensation at the base of his stomach. You were shaking due to the anger but you continued:

-”Oh and you know what else? YOU BEING THE SON OF THE MAIN STAKEHOLDER DOES NOT MAKE YOU, AND I REPEAT, DOES NOT MAKE YOU COMPETENT FOR THE POSITION YOU ARE HOLDING. Especially when you treat people that work for you as if nobody deserved to admire ‘YOUR GREATNESS’. You know what that turns you into? AN UNBEARABLE IDIOT. So no, ‘Rengoku-san’” you said his name in a very mocking way and continued “Do not worry about my incompetence anymore because, I FUCKING QUIT. Fuck THIS and fuck YOU and your arrogant attitude. Good luck solving that problem WITHOUT ME!”

You immediately stormed out of his office without allowing him to respond back. Everyone at the office was rooting for you, even if you did not knew it. You had no idea how happy everyone felt for someone finally answering back to their arrogant CEO. You went quickly to your desk with adrenaline still being pumped into your system, making you feel invincible.

You rapidly apologized to Mitsuri for leaving without further notice and asked her to apologize on your behalf with the rest of the team. She looked at you with the most grateful smile you had ever seen on her face and as she hugged you, she muttered :”Thank you Y/N”. You grabbed the most essential of your stuff, Giyuu could deliver the rest later on, and quickly headed to the elevator.

As you suspected, your blue-eyed friend reached you, preventing with his hand the closing of the elevator doors and said with a grin:

-”See? I told you that you would figure it out.” He offered you his hand to help you with all the things you were carrying. He walked you to your car and as he closed your car door he told you:

- “Is it ok if I crash at your place after work?” you nodded and he continued “Now miss Y/N, go home, take a hot shower, a warm meal and a nap until I arrive at your apartment. Deal?” You warmly smiled at him, drove directly home and did exactly as he suggested.

You felt so good, so free, free of that tyrant that was making your life so miserable and yes, you will have to figure out the employment situation but at least for that day you will definitely not worry about it. Little you knew that this was only the beginning of a series of very interesting events.

#kyojuro x you #kyoujuroxy/n #kyojuro x reader #rengoku x you #rengoku x y/n #rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku #demonslayer x reader #demonslayer x you #demonslayer x y/n #knyxyou #kny imagines #kny x y/n #kny x reader #kyojuro fluff #kyojuro x y/n

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yoonpobs · 4 years ago

Text

love language | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: FLUFF, that's it

warnings: this is just so cute and self-indulgent lol

words: 5, 123

summary: how min yoongi loves you

“You know there isn’t a point in inviting me out for brunch to only sigh and stab your overpriced meal with a fork right? I already see you enough on a daily basis and I think I’m exceeding my _____ quota for the month.” Jimin says dryly.

Usually, you’d quip back with an equally brute remark of your own but there’s something far heavier lingering at the back of your mind. A territory you weren’t quite sure how to navigate and vocalise. Jimin picks up on your silence and stamps it as odd behaviour because you were far more … hands-on when it came to your retorts but today you’re dead quiet.

Jimin leans forward on his elbows to give you a concerned look when you still silently assault your meal with the fork in your grip.

“… is this even _____?”

You look up and your expression is unimpressed. Jimin raises his arms up in defense before retreating to the comfort of his plush sofa chair—a product of allowing him to choose the venue for your dire brunch that and the cost was your empty wallet and every last bit of your mental health.

“What do you think of Yoongi?”

The question throws Jimin off not because he has no idea who that is—but because you were shy and timid. A soft-spoken person by nature that liked keeping to yourself and that was a huge juxtaposition in terms of your friendship with Jimin because he was everything you were not. He was loud, the biggest person in every room, and the person that everyone knew on campus.

Your friendship was an unlikely occurrence even for your lecturers when they’d glance at you from the hallways or when your peers would eye you oddly when they’d see Jimin partaking in every extra-curricular there was available and while you chose to do your own thing, far away from the action and where you were safely kept in your own bubble.

Jimin is surprised because you were already very private, and as your best friend, he didn’t take any offense to that when you didn’t share matters of your life with him. He already overcompensated for the fact that all he did was talk about his personal life—which you didn’t mind either. It was a healthy balance and a give and take that the two of you found a pattern with.

So for you to bring up the name of your boyfriend—which Jimin only knew because he caught a glimpse of a name with a heart and a text with the word ‘date’ attached to it—was definitely out of character.

“Yeah. This definitely isn’t _____,” Jimin says, “I’d like her back, please. I need someone to have no backbone so I can trample on her without her ever complaining.”

You glare at him even harder and stab the lettuce on your plate harder.

“You know what? Forget it …” You mutter, pushing your plate away from you.

Jimin levels you with a wry look and reaches his hand out to stop you from being overdramatic with your actions. Since you weren’t the best with words, you naturally compensated for being a little excessive with your actions in hopes for other people to be able to pick up on your hints. And as your best friend—Jimin knew that you were bottling something inside and wanted him to pry.

“You know this trick isn’t going to work on me, right?” Jimin points out, “And as much as I call myself the self-proclaimed genius between the two of us I can’t read minds so you’re going to need to elaborate on what you mean by ‘what do I think of Yoongi’.”

You scowl and fiddle with your fingers when Jimin gives you a look that tells you that you should speak up or forget about it. Sometimes you hated the fact that Jimin was confident and assured of himself, never avoiding confrontation while all you did was dodge it. Another reason why your friendship was unlikely but somewhat necessary.

“As my friend … what do you think of Yoongi—” You mumble, “—for me.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow at your soft tone.

“For … you?” He parrots your question back.

Your ears burn and you feel stupid enough asking Jimin about his opinion on Yoongi when you already felt flustered even mentioning his name to anyone that wasn’t yourself.

“Jimin …” You whine.

“Don’t Jimin me,” He snaps, “You know my hearing is bad.”

You roll your eyes and cast your eyes downwards to your abandoned plate as you pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you’ve picked up from Yoongi. Though you can’t really say that you picked it up from him since it was also a nervous routine of yours but knowing that Yoongi shared that in a different way made it feel like you got it from him.

Jimin sighs.

He wasn’t being harsh on you—in fact, this was him encouraging you to open up because while he was all hard and edges, and possibly overbearing at times; he respected you and loved you as a friend. You were never mean, rude or disrespectful and even if the two of you were fundamentally different in nature, you co-existed peacefully and were able to share little things in common that made the interactions between the two of you fruitful.

And he knew that speaking of your relationship with Yoongi was hard not because he was treating you horribly (at least he hopes so) but because you had the tendency of solving all your problems yourself. Even ones that were far out of your range of capability, and as someone who has received an abundance of help and advice from someone as soft-spoke as you—he wanted to be able to reciprocate somehow.

“Are the two of you okay?” Jimin asks.

You nod your head.

“We are … I just—well …” You mumble, “I just want your opinion.”

Jimin raises his eyebrow because he didn’t want you to feel like he needed his approval for you to date Yoongi. He trusted you and knew that you were smart enough to let the people you felt the same way about in.

“Babe, you don’t need my opinion. You’re the one in the relationship with him and as long he’s not being manipulative, abusive or an unwarranted jackass then I have no right to interfere in your relationship.” Jimin frowns.

You sigh.

“No, no … it’s not like that,” You shake your head, “I just wanted to know what you think of him … as a person.”

Your request is odd for multiple reasons, but mostly because of the timing because it seemed like a question you’d pose before the two of you made it official but this question came eight months into the relationship.

“I don’t think I can give you an answer _____. My interactions are limited with Yoongi as it is and I can’t give you an objective answer without sounding like a complete asshole if I judge him based on the way he looks.”

“Why would you sound like an asshole?” You furrow your brows.

Jimin shoots you a deadpan.

“Min Yoongi is the poster boy of the average college girl’s wet dream and he checks all the boxes of fitting all the stereotypes of a brooding, mysterious jock with a secret that he hides only for a girl to swing into his life and change his outlook completely. He’s quiet—quieter than you—and downright intimidating. It doesn’t help that you don’t want me hanging out with him just yet—which I totally respect by the way—so that just adds to his aloof aura.”

You blink at Jimin.

The description of Yoongi based on his outward appearance is … apt. But not what you were looking for. You knew that when you first saw Yoongi at band practices was when you first decided that you were scared of good-looking people. Albeit Jimin was also insanely attractive but he had an atmosphere around him that made people feel comfortable. Not that Yoongi actively made people uncomfortable … but he radiated major celebrity vibes that it was intimidating to get close to him.

Until small talks happened to shared giggles and him eventually asking you out informally, a context outside of your band practices that you saw glimpses of Yoongi that no one else did. He was soft, understanding, and though a little bad at expressing how he feels … but he was Yoongi and you liked him.

You might even love him, but there are times where you’re hesitant about your relationship.

“I think I love him.” You squeak.

Jimin’s eyes widen, another surprise for him for the day because you’ve just ignored his very superficial description of your boyfriend, which he half-expected you to be mad at. But for you to say that you thought you were in love with him was just a reaction he was not expecting at all.

“You—okay?” Jimin scrunches his eyebrows, “I’m happy for you, I really am! But … that doesn’t explain why you need my opinion?”

You breathe out and will yourself to look at Jimin’s face, even with the burn of your cheeks.

“You’re my … best friend, Jimin.” You say softly.

Jimin’s eyes ease on your timid features before he reaches out a comforting hand to grab onto your own, nudging you to look into his eyes. Even though Jimin was outgoing as it is, the reason why you stayed friends was that he took the time to understand you and adapt to you even when he didn’t need to. He knew that you were just shy and he never berated you for it, which is why you wanted him to know how you felt—because what he thought was important too.

“_____, love,” Jimin whispers, and you offer a weak smile, “I’m happy for you. Truly. Being in love is a beautiful feeling and I don’t need to be in love with a person to tell you that because love exists everywhere. It exists in the small things that make you smile or giggle when you come across it, and it exists in the way you do the things you adore and achieve your goals. But you don’t need me—or anyone’s—validation to love Yoongi. Love is so personal and so collective at the same time but it’s yours.”

You swallow and hope that you don’t cry in the middle of this posh and overpriced place, and it’s partially because Jimin sounded so earnest when he was talking to you but also because of the ruminating thoughts that plague your mind that made you suggest this brunch in the first place.

“I think I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.” You sniffle.

Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens momentarily along with his jaw, but he doesn’t want to act irrationally just yet.

“Why do you say that?” He asks tenderly.

You sniff and the tip of your nose turns red and Jimin wants to pat you on the head to comfort you, but the two of you are in public and he knew you hated being vulnerable in general—especially in the public eye.

“It’s just—it’s just—” You stutter, “You know how shy I am and how hard it is for me to … ask for things …”

When he hears your soft tone as your eyes dart away from his face, possibly embarrassed, he rubs a soothing thumb across your knuckles and listens to you intently.

“But I really try with Yoongi … because I want him to know how much I-I like him,” You whisper, “And every time I tell him how much I like him he just … he just smiles and looks away. Like he doesn’t—doesn’t feel the same.”

Jimin absorbs your words before he smiles softly at you. He understood how difficult it must’ve been for you because this was your first official relationship with someone who looked very closed off, to begin with, but based on your very short and rapt descriptions from time to time, Jimin could say that Yoongi wasn’t a bad person.

“Have you considered that he shows his love a different way?” Jimin asks.

You look up at him confused.

“Huh?”

Jimin chuckles before offering you a small tissue, and you meekly accepted it as you dab at your waterline.

“We all have different ways of giving and receiving love, _____.” He tells you, “No person loves the same and no one feels the same type of love. We are all different because that’s in our nature. And like I said—I don’t know Yoongi well enough to say that he has a specific type of love language but if he’s stuck around for this long … it has to mean something, right?”

Your brunch with Jimin leaves you with something else to think about.

Perhaps you were a little shallow—narrow-minded if you will. But you trusted Jimin, and you decided to see what he meant. You knew that you didn’t have the stereotypical love of shows or movies because while it did depict some form of reality, it was heavily sensationalised and exaggerated. But you never considered that Yoongi had a way of his own, one that was personal and unique to him.

Yoongi never made you feel like you weren’t enough. But the lack of the words that sit on your tongue also made you feel like he didn’t feel the same. It was never what he did, but how you felt. It was irrational, but he was objectively a very attractive person. In more ways than how he looked but the way, he treated others.

He’s mellow and gentle. Words never harsh but sharp enough to make people think. He’s efficient and kind when he wants to be and you see the way he treats his friends and staff at restaurants, even if he’s a little quiet too. The two of you were somewhat similar, but you felt so much for him that you somehow overlooked that one part—that maybe he was quiet in the way he loved too.

But you didn’t want to get your hopes up because while you weren’t … horrible. You weren’t anything spectacular either. You did decently in school, had a decent friend group that mainly consisted of you, Jimin and his other best friend, Taehyung—who told you that you were as much of his best friend like you were Jimin’s—and your bandmates that you shared with Yoongi.

Yoongi was quiet but collateral. He excelled in school, topped his classes two terms in a row, and produced impeccable music on the side. He was charismatic when he had to be an extremely introspective that you sometimes felt lacking when you hear him speak about the world and people.

Maybe that’s why he just smiles and looks away because Yoongi is too kind to break your heart, and his eyes tell the truth.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t—

“______?” Yoongi calls your name and snaps you out of your daydream.

“Huh?” You respond dazedly and he just smiles at you, gentle as always before he nudges your shoulder slightly forward to place a—pillow?—in between your back and the chair that you were sitting on in his apartment.

“I’ve read somewhere that this helps with your posture.” He tells you, “You said you were having lower back pains so this may help.”

You blink at him and then at your assignments sprawled on his dining table, before turning your head to spot the pillow that you remember gifting him as a small present months back, behind your back, and in between you and the chair. The tension in your lower back does feel alleviated, and you turn back to Yoongi to offer him a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You say softly.

He smiles at you and the simple gesture makes your stomach flutter with butterflies and your heartbeat a little faster. It’s crazy that the simplest of acts could turn you into mush and that he’s had your heart captive. The word sits on your tongue but fear wins over again.

He brushes stray hands of hair that falls by the side of your face, away, before gathering it with his hand at the back of your neck and tying it with a rubber band that you remember leaving at his place a while back.

“How can you see with your hair in the way?” He scolds, but it’s light.

You scoff, giving him a glare but it’s playful too. It does feel better like you have a clearer vision of the work that you were doing.

“Don’t be mean …” You mumble.

Yoongi laughs and it’s your favourite sound after the bell of your favourite bakery.

You like this look on him, eyes crinkled and mouth open in a gummy grin that you were the cause of. The will to say the word becomes harder, the way he leans in to peck you on the lips makes your mouth move on its own accord.

So before you can justify your actions, you say—

“I love you.”

The words are out and it seems to linger in the air because of the silence. You’re mortified, one because you had just blurted it out in the most unromantic setting ever, but secondly, because Yoongi is just … looking at you again. Like he always does when you tell him how much you like him—a soft smile, but this time his eyes are trained on yours.

The fire on your cheeks feels all the hotter when you know there’s nowhere to hide, or no way to retract your words because you didn’t want to. You loved him—and his silence only solidifies your guesses on the unrequitedness of your love.

“I-I’m sorry!” You yelp, covering your face with your hands, “I-I didn’t—I know that you—I didn’t mean to say that!”

Yoongi continues to look at you and he’s inching closer to you until your locked against your chair, his arms resting around your back as his other elbow leans on the table when he brings his face closer to yours.

“You love me?” He whispers and his breath is on your lips.

Even as you’re overcome with the fact that you do indeed love him, and that he doesn’t feel the same. You can’t bring yourself to deny it, not when your heart has always been for him and your words a reflection of your own heart.

“Y-Yes,” You mumble, eyes looking away, “I’m sorry …”

Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and pulls away from you. The warmth of his body suddenly gone and it reminds you that you may have overstepped. That he realised that you were in too deep and couldn’t just leave you. It scared you, but the silence scares you more.

“Why are you apologising?”

You gulp, looking away but Yoongi nudges your chin to look at him gently. His eyes are still confused, but kind. The look that usually comforts you only makes anxiety settle in the pit of your belly.

“I know you don’t feel the same … it’s okay. I understand. I’m a little … hard to love … I know. B-But it’s okay. You don’t need to say it—at all. I can … I can deal with it. Just please don’t leave me.” You whimper.

Yoongi pulls away completely as if he’s been scathed. You don’t have anything else to say but you’re appalled to find your vision getting blurry and the lump in your throat getting unbearable. But you try not to cry, especially when Yoongi looks torn.

But he doesn’t do what you’re expecting and tells you that it’s over, but instead, he returns into your space, making you forget about your embarrassment and cups your cheeks ever so gently while looking at you with ardent eyes.

“Please don’t cry …” He whispers.

And you hate that you do. You cry because he’s holding you so gently and his hands feel warm against your cheek. You cry because you love him and he doesn’t feel the same. You cry because all your cards are out on the table and he’s seen it all.

“I-I’m sorry.” You choke.

Yoongi’s eyes soften before he leans in, pressing a gentle press onto your lips that has your tears in the way as a barrier. You’re still choking on your sobs but his kiss feels comforting and painful at the same time. You want to push him away but you’re selfish—you love him and the feeling of him holding you close like he may feel the same.

When he pulls away, he looks at you again with a gentle, yet intense gaze.

“You’re not hard to love,” He murmurs, “It was so easy falling in love with you because you’re my person. You’re the person that I look forward to seeing every day and the person that I think about the most. Please don’t ever say that you’re hard to love because falling in love with you was the easiest thing that I’ve done in my entire life.”

Your eyes widen, especially when he looks you directly in your own. Your eyes are a little puffy and you’re sure it’s an unattractive sight.

But Yoongi thinks you’re beautiful. He always does. He thinks you’re beautiful when you see him after your classes. He thinks you’re beautiful when you broke the plate you wanted to give his mother as a gift. He thinks you’re beautiful when you’ve just woken up and he thinks you’re beautiful when you’re laughing with his friends and your bandmates.

“I—I—you … you love … me?” You rasp.

Yoongi still has a soft hold on your cheeks, and he feels the wetness of your tears stain his hands but he’s unbothered. He’s more bothered about what you said. The way his heart clenches makes him feel like he’s not done enough. That he could do better to never be the reason for the sadness along with your tears.

“I love you. I do. So much.” He whispers, “You’ve made me feel the kind love that I never thought existed.”

You sob harder and you feel a little pathetic crying in his arms because … how could you have doubted him? You feel relieved and happy, and a little frustrated because you were insecure on your own terms. Even now that you know he loves you—you’re sceptical because he’s Yoongi and you’re you.

Yoongi tugs you into his arms and caresses you with the warmth of his hold, hand patting your head gently. He feels mellow and close while he allows you to cry a little longer. The silence isn’t suffocating anymore, but your mind runs wild with insecurities that you can’t help but—

“Do you really love me?” You ask softly.

Yoongi doesn’t let you go, but you feel him nod and hum against your head.

“I do.”

You nibble on your lips and clutch his t-shirt.

“Then w-why … why do you just smile and look away when I tell you how much I like you?”

Yoongi stays silent for a while, but you don’t take it as a bad sign. Even with your small arguments with him from time-to-time throughout the eight months you’ve been together, Yoongi has never once raised his voice at you or acted irrationally. In fact, he’s always stayed a little quiet for a while, as if he was thinking of the appropriate way to handle the situation before he spoke.

It only made you love him more.

“I’m sorry.” He apologises, and you feel like shit when you realise you made him apologise to you for no reason but he continues before you can pull away—grip tight around your relaxed figure.

“I’ve been in love with you for months,” His confession makes you gasp, the time that he’s mentioned only makes you a lot more confused, “I … this is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

You stay silent as Yoongi rubs gentle figures on your back, breathing into your hair as you rest your cheek on his chest.

“I’ve always been a little … quiet.” He tells you, “And maybe that’s why I felt so drawn to you because we were so similar. I saw you and thought that you were a beautiful person. That your kindness wasn’t empty promises but actions and your smiles weren’t forced but comforting.”

You feel your eyes water again because of Yoongi’s truthful words. Damn your boyfriend for being able to wax poetic.

“I’ve always found it hard to express things with words, despite writing songs like people eat their meals. My mom always told me that I was a doer rather than a sayer.” He jokes, and you find yourself giggling a little when you think of Yoongi’s mother.

A strong woman, her tongue was as sharp as her sons and you definitely see where he gets his wisdom from. She was louder spoken, confident—and yet she was gentle and kind. A person that drew people in.

“I do things for you because I love you, ______. I love you in a way that can last forever because I want it to. I want to love you in a way that you’ll remember and always think of me when you see the physical pieces left by the footprints of my affection.”

It should’ve been cheesy but Yoongi has a way with words to make you blush and your heart flutter.

His words register in you, and you feel blind to not have seen it the entire time.

Even before this, when he placed the pillow behind you to support your lower back—or when he tied your hair back so you could focus better. Or the time when he drove all the way from his hometown back to campus because you were performing a solo piece for band, then drove back to see his parents.

You remember the song he wrote to you for your birthday, accompanied by a book that you’ve put on your Wishlist for months. The memory of his gentle hands removing the face mask from your face when you’ve fallen asleep and tucking you into his bed pricks your mind.

Looking back—you remember feeling absolutely loved and adored. Even if you didn’t explicitly think of the word ‘love’—but you felt safe, comforted and accepted. And you realise that love isn’t one-dimensional. Love is everything that makes you feel complete.

When you look up at him, he’s still offering you the same gentle smile he does when you told him how much you liked him—to when you said you loved him. He still looks the same, smiles the same, and feels the same. It’s you.

“I’m sorry.” You wail.

His eyes widen but you don’t cry. You feel dumb, blind almost because he’s been nothing but loving towards you but it was you who had your doubts.

“Baby, please don’t apologise.” He runs a thumb across your cheek.

“I just—I can’t believe I accused you of not loving me when all you’ve been doing is—when all you’ve done is treat me amazingly. I feel so … stupid.” You groan.

Yoongi smiles at you and rubs his thumb in between your furrowed brows.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown all the time.” He tuts.

You glare at him through puffy eyes but hold on to him tighter.

“I really am sorry.” You mumble.

Yoongi hums.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve been more—explicit.”

You frown, pulling away.

“No Yoongi.” You say, “You loved me in your own way and I felt every bit of it. I just conflated the need of being reassured with words and being reassured in your gestures. I shouldn’t have doubted you and projected my insecurities onto you.”

"And it's not your fault for feeling insecure. I'm your boyfriend and I want to be able to reassure you in every way I possibly can. If you need to hear an I love you I'll shout it on top of the highest roof I can find—if you want to be held then I'll hold you and never let go."

Your heart flutters and you bask in his gentle words.

Yoongi wraps a gentle hand around the nape of your neck before bringing you closer, lips hovering right above your own before he closes the distance. His lips are warm and soft, and he doesn’t rush the kiss as if he was dealing with porcelain glass. But he knew you weren’t fragile and easily broken—but he still knew that you were someone that he wanted to care for, for a long time.

He kisses you and it feels right. It feels like you were returning home after months away.

When he pulls away ever so slightly to look into your eyes, breath still fanning on your lips—you feel welcomed.

“When I think of love I think of you. When I think of happiness your face appears in my mind. And when I think fo you, I think of what I can do to make the environment we have a little better for you. I love you, _____. And I’ll spend as long as I can reminding you.”

“Yoongi …” You blush because you didn’t know how romantic he could be when he wanted to.

“I’m serious, _____.” He looks at you seriously, “You know what my mom said when I brought you over?”

You raise an eyebrow because while you remember the meeting being absolutely pleasant, even if you did fumble and break the gift you brought. His mother only smiled at you, the same one that marks her son's face—and said that it was okay. It only meant that you should come again to compensate. Her tone was light and comfortable, and you immediately felt the tension be alleviated from your shoulders.

He takes the tilt of your head as his cue to continue.

“She said that she’s never seen me as expressive as I was when I was with you,” You snort at his exasperation, but you see the honesty that pours out, “Hyung even said that I’ve gotten soft.”

You roll your eyes when he tugs you closer by your chair until your legs were dangling by the side of his hips. Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders and Yoongi still smiles at you like it’s the most natural thing to do.

“But I like you soft …” You smile.

“And I love you with me.” Yoongi returns.

You blush, and you allow him to hold you close.

And in his arms, do you realise that some things didn’t need to be said.

#bts fic #bts fluff #bts fics #bts imagines #min yoongi fic #yoongi fic #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts yoongi #min yoongi imagine

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idiotwhotalkstoomuch · 3 years ago

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CW. LONG POST for the immortal!mc... I see lady yuu having a personality like toph from "Avatar the last Airbender". People are careful around her do to her status and doesn't know why she likes to hang around adeuce and grimm, but she likes how open they're around especially when grimm calls her "his henchmen".

Immortal!mc: *has been calling grimm for an hour* GRIMM!

Grimm: *ignores her*

Mc: *sigh* *dramatically* Oh the great and powerful grimm lord of flames

Grimm:*smugly* hmm~yes~

Sebek: *windows exp crashing noises*

Has a Harry Potter the Half Blood Prince moment in alchemy class.

Mc: *reading potion text book* *under her breath* cut up the moon bloom? You crush the moon bloom *notice a lot incorrect information in the text book* CREWEL!

Crewel: *walks over* yes mistress yuu?

Mc: You let these children brew these potions incorrectly? I hope they haven't been drinking them!

Crewel: with all due respect mistress yuu the information in the book is correct i can assu-

Mc: I know you're not telling ME of all people the steps in the potion book is correct?

Crewel: *gulps*

Mc: you crush not cut the moon blooms and you use the blue spider mushroom and not the yellow puff ball mushroom! And the final product should be yellow and not a lilac color!

I see her having a staff or something of the like and it has everyone confused because 'she doesn't have magic' yeah she doesn't have magic but she likes to uses it like a walking stick. She likes to watch the students with Ashton during P.E occasionally hit them with her staff.

Immortal!mc: *bonks student* No your form is all wrong! *shows them correct form* DO IT AGAIN!

Somedays when Trein wants to grade papers he'll have immortal!mc tell stories of her youth, she tells the a story of a flying ship with a captain with a hook for a hand, a medicine woman of a young emperor and her ditzy henchmen, a shady voodoo man she met at a tavern, and a woman just as old as her who kidnapped a princess to keep herself young.

During chapter 5 vil catches her in the mirror chamber one day and askes her about the mirror the beautiful queen.

Mc: *walks up to the mirror of darkness, touches the side resting her head on the frame of the mirror* It's been a long time my old friend

Mirror of darkness: *appears* I you my friend I you...

Everyone in the mirror chamber: 👀👀👀

Vil: *in shock and awe* ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᵘᶜᵏ..

During chapter 6 Vil comes to yuu during vdc training camp and askes her questions about her relationship with the mirror of darkness.

Vil: Miss yuu can I ask you about the mirror.. again?

Mc: *puts down her tea* oh yes! I never did answer your questions earlier

Mc: long ago I heard whipers in a village that a house deep in the forest lived a very handsome man who had magic... he had a daughter a real daddies girl.. I found her odd at first as she'd ask him everyday if she was beautiful and he'd reply 'the fairest in the land'

Rook: *knows where this is going*

Mc: but like most people around that time he became sick. One day me and the girl went around the forest collecting herbs for his medicine... when we came back he gone all that was left was a pile of his clothes and a mirror..

Kalim: *blinking back tears* then what happened 🥺

Mc: the poor thing was inconsolable.. she locked herself in her father's room and refused to comeout. Though I should have told her but I found a letter from him, detailing what he had done.

Deuce: *on the edge of his seat* them what

Mc: he used the rest of his magic to turn himself into a mirror for his daughter.. i'd seen that once before when I stayed the night at a beasts castle, but thats a story for another time.

Vil: was the girl you speak of the beautiful queen?

Mc: yes her name Grimhilde... in his letter he asked if I could look over his daughter make sure she lived a happy and long life... though I feel I failed him.

KINGDOM HEARTS HAPPENS AND YOU CANNOT WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND!

When yuu has the prophetic dreams before overblot and she's mickey in the mirror

Mc: *notices a shadow in the mirror above the fireplace* that shape seems oddly familiar...

Mirror figure: Aha

Mc: *eyes widen* KING MICKEY

Mickey:*in shock aswell* YUU!

The first years remind her of Sora and Co. and catches herself reminiscening about them. They don't know what to do when they catch her crying.

Ace: M-Mc! Are you okay?

Sebek: WHO DARES MAKE LADY YUU CRY I'LL HAVE THEIR HEADS!

Grimm: *rubbing against yuu worried* henchmen?

Mc: No no.. I'm fine it's just you six remind me of some people I knew years ago.

During history trein asks mc about the great war and if she knew the inside scoop on why it started.

Mc: which one? there have been many

Trien: many..? I know only of one..

Mc: yes! There was the first keyblade war, the first human-fae war, Chernabog's war, the inter-species war, the second keyblade war and the second human-fea war.

Lila: *who came to drop off some papers* two human-fae wars..?

Mc: oh Lila! Yes the first one is when I crowned Maleficent as queen and the second one happend when a close friend of hers betrayed her...there was to be a third on but the human queen that started it was turned into a goat

Trein: keyblade war?

Mc: when magic was just becoming accepted..*clears her throat* it was revealed that there was a secret society of heros who wielded keyblades. It was believed there was a world where all magic come from.

Ace: are there still people who have keyblades?

Mc: no.. the hearts of people to day are to dark..

Deuce: to dark..?

Mc: back then people hearts where pure, why? The keyblade wielders protect people from the darkness. The people believed in a world where all from, only the Wilders could access the world.

Trein: *writing every thing down* what was this place called?

Mc: Kingdom Hearts... but as most stories go all of them wanted control over the world, but they needed the X-blade this caused a war of cataclysmic proportions. It pushed the world into darkness and killed many and shattered the x-blade and scattered across the world... kingdom hearts was to be forever lost.

Scarabia mob: you where alive during all that!?

Mc: no, but a close friend of mine was, but I was alive during the second

Sorry for my rambling and if i broke any of the rules during this feel free to delete of so.. but This is where I'm gonna stop as I've been typing this up for the past hour or so.. 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

No rules have been broken (I didnt have very much anyway lol)

I really like this whole post lol though unfortunately I have not seen kingdom hearts so idk a lot of references here

Also Yuu does carry a staff in formal occasions. Lilia made joke on her saying she looked like an old woman with that but was promptly shut up when Yuu recalled a story of Lilia when he was younger

#twisted wonderland #twst #immortal!yuu

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vixey-chakraborty · 2 years ago

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On the Farm -- a playlist for farm chores

listen here!

Vixey’s Farm Life Playlist: 10 Songs Vixey Listens to While Doing Farm Chores, make an aesthetic and write 50 words about why each song is included

9 to 5 by Dolly Parton – A classic. I couldn’t not start this playlist with this song. It’s the perfect chore song, no matter what your job is. Working on the farm, it definitely is a jam though. Except that working on a farm is more like 5 to 9, lol. Ask my dad, he never stops talking about how he woke up at like 4am every morning.

Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain – I know that realistically Vixey probably doesn’t know a lot of country music but that’s not gonna stop me from pretending and putting it on all of her playlists. It is just her vibe. And this song is just fun and will keep you awake when you’re up super early and just trying to stay on your feet.

Cowboy Take Me Away by The Chicks – Another classic, I feel like this song is just good for doing chores and daydreaming. Putting up your laundry while singing about a handsome cowboy coming and sweeping you off your feet. It’s about the vibes. It’s about keeping yourself entertained during long hours. This song definitely does that, it’s one of my faves.

Born to Fly by Sara Evans – This is my fave. It’s also great for chores because the music video is so fun (look it up). It’s basically Dorothy from the beginning of the Wizard of Oz when she is—you guessed it—doing farm chores! So, this song in my head has always been associated with farm chores. I used to love this music video as a kid.

Texas Man by The Chicks – I told Vicky that I barked laughing putting this song on this playlist because I realized that DRAKKEN is a Texas man. Hilarious. I love it. Amazing. 10/10. It’s also funny because the song is about someone who feels a little used up, already passed her prime, which is how Vixey does feel sometimes, since she’s already done the whole marriage thing and grief thing. Anyway, this is a new addition to the playlist but so good.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) by ABBA – Why are all these songs about men? Honestly, that tracks for Vixey. She’s not boy obsessed by any means, but she’s always been one of my more romantic characters. And all these songs are just kind of fun. Kind of ribbing yourself when it comes to longing. So, I’m not mad about it. This song is so fun and upbeat.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet – Just a good groovy song, could see someone dancing around in a dairy parlor to this song. Doing air guitar with the milk machine. Yeah. It’s a vibe. Plus, a fun song to sing out loud to yourself when you’re just vibing and doing these really repetitive sorts of chores that farms need to run.

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye – One of my all time favorite songs. I feel like Vixey would really like this song too. Super upbeat. Great song to sing along to. If you couldn’t tell, Vixey is definitely a sing-a-long kind of person. She’s not a great singer, really, but she has fun and that is what matters. Plus, the animals don’t usually care. So non-judgmental.

My Girl by the Temptations – Vixey likes to sing this song to the animals. After all, farms are run by girl power! You gotta milk the cows. You gotta get eggs from the female chickens! And Vixey likes to think if you sing nice songs to the animals and make sure they are happy, they will produce better products, so she will sing this song to them and love up on them. Which is very cute of her.

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 – This is a specific song from her rainy-day playlist, because Vixey definitely has multiple chore playlists. That’s the kind of person that she is. This song is so soothing, and it is also on my rainy day playlist because it just gives off grey skies and chill vibes. Even though farms don’t stop running in the rain!

#swynlabors #music #inspiration

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littlespoonevan · 3 years ago

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I'm honestly so tired of the bashing of this season... It's not perfect, far from it, and I definitely have things to say too, but people are acting like it's the worst thing ever made and this constant negativity is making it hard to enjoy it at all and it's killing all the fun for me. It's one thing to have expectations, it's another thing to say it's shit when they don't happen. It's just my opinion, but yeah, I wish people would just calm down a bit.

ahh i know what you mean, anon. as much as i absolutely love the experience of watching a show week to week and getting to deep dive into the ep and theorise about what's coming next, it's also a lot more stressful than binge-watching.

i think it's easy to spiral sometimes when watching a season live because for example, if you're whole dash is liveblogging and ten people all complain about one thing well then those ten people will probably rile each other up about the thing even more. in contrast, if i'm bingewatching, that thing either won't register with me or that part of the storyline will be over like two hours later so i won't bother posting about it.

it does frustrate me sometimes when people can't just wait and see. like there's a different between not liking something very specific eg. the copaganda in 5x03 vs just not having the whole story yet???? so i've always tried my best to withhold judgement on certain storylines until we reach season finales. like, i could complain about eddie not facing the trauma of the shooting yet but i'm also holding out hope that'll happen in upcoming eps. so unless we reach 5x18 without that being addressed i don't think it's fair for me to be annoyed???

season 5 in general though is not bad at all. i think it's suffered from some inconsistencies with the changes in production and not having two mains present but it's still a good season. i absolutely loved 5x01, 5x02 and 5x04. i really enjoyed 5x06 also (tbh the only reason i'm not like, omg god tier is bc seeing people's reactions beforehand sort of raised the bar too high for me? but that's no one's fault except whoever leaked the ep lol). 5x03 was its own beast and 5x05 and 5x07 did feel off. the thing about 5x05 though is that it's hard to know if that was intentional or not given the themes of the ep and that we were primarily viewing things through buck's eyes.

but like, in terms of 5x07 as an example. the things i didn't like about it are the same things i didn't like about 4x08 or 4x11 which was that too much of the focus was on side characters i didn't have an interest in. hell, i thought 4x01 and 4x02 were Incredibly boring, especially when compared to the tsunami the previous season. so idk if it's just that a lot of us are watching live for the first time now and that's why people are getting more frustrated but quality-wise i'm not all that worried rn.

the best advice i could give is to curate your dash and blacklist what you need to. i follow 20 911 blogs which tbh is a lot for me. and that's not to say there aren't lots of amazing people whose posts/gfisets i regularly reblog who i don't follow but i personally have always preferred to follow just enough people to keep up to date on everything i want to. i find it easier to maintain my dash that way and i rarely, if ever, see complaining unless i go looking for it. i've done the whole, follow everyone thing in previous fandoms and it's absolutely exhausting and generally not good for your enjoyment of the show

i don't want this to come off as preachy or holier-than-thou because i absolutely don't mean it to be and at the end of the day, if people want to complain leave them to it! i'm just saying that in my own experience following less blogs and blacklisting discourse tags has always made my fandom life much more enjoyable!!

#anon #asks #fandom discourse #man i'm using all the risky tags today lmao

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raven-of-domain-kwaad · 3 years ago

Text

Get to know the blogger

Got tagged by @blitzindite for this one. Thanks Oliver!

I’ll give some no pressure tags to @starknstarwars, @swtorpadawan, @sleepswithvillains, @a-master-procrastinator @palepinkycat and anyone else that sees this and wants to give it a go.

1. Why did you choose your url?

I wanted to make a Star Wars blog and I also wanted to show that I was a big fan of the old pre-mouse EU. So I took my favorite EU character, Tahiri Veila, and played around with her experiences to make my url. During the New Jedi Order book series, Tahiri was experimented on by Yuuzhan Vong and an artificial personality, Riina of Domain Kwaad, was created in her mind. I simply replaced the name Riina with my own internet handle Raven and got Raven of Domain Kwaad.

2. Any sideblogs?

This is technically a sideblog actually.

Main is @the-raven-of-highever which is mainly Dragon Age stuff

I also have @ssv-raven which is a mess of Mass Effect, sci-fi, fantasy and other assorted nonsense

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I think it was 2014 when I first got onto tumblr

4. Why did you originally start your blog?

Originally I made my main for the Assassin’s Creed fandom. Oh boy was I obsessed with AC. Fell hard in love with the Kenway family and Ratonhnhaké:ton / Connor in particular. I was sad when the tumblr fandom just sort of fizzled away and died after being such a fun and big group that I really liked.

5. Why did you choose your icon?

@palepinkycat gave me that incredible piece of my OC Amarra Kine for my birthday and I was immediately head over heels in love with how it looked. I just had to make it my icon so I could always admire it.

Love you Pinky! Thank you so so so much for the gift and all of your amazing artwork for the fandom!

6. Why did you choose your header?

That was another @palepinkycat piece actually and my very first commission. It is of my OC sisters Ryscha and Amarra Kine. They are the main focus of my SWTOR canon so I figured it was appropriate to put them up there as my header.

7. What is your post with the most notes?

This one which I made as a joke after the Echoes of Oblivion trailer came out. Just a silly bit about how Knights and Warriors must be very sick of the Emperor by that point.

8. How many mutuals do you have?

Not a clue. I know I have a number of SWTOR mutuals though

9. How many followers do you have?

115... now excuse me as I go and listen to the song of the same name from CoD Black Ops Zombies lol

10. How many blogs do you follow?

200 but a lot of those haven’t posted in years. Lots of old Assassin’s Creed, Overwatch and trans fem blogs that got lost or just stopped posting after the various fandoms died and the porn ban cracked down on people.

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Lol this is tumblr buddy. Of course I have

12. How many times do you use tumblr a day?

Uh... lots. Though in my defense it is my only form of social media. Never had a facebook, twitter or anything else and it is probably going to stay that way.

13. Have you ever fought another blog?

Nope. Is that a thing people do? It sounds exhausting.

14. How do you feel about “need to reblog” posts?

You know how after watching commercials you are filled with the desire to actively avoid the product being advertised? Yeah that is generally what happens to me with those “need to reblog” things. Like buddy I have come to tumblr to unplug from all the atrocities that are happening in the world. You telling me I need to focus on this makes me want to actively ignore it.

15. Do you like tag games?

I do! They are fun and I enjoy reading the answers that other people give.

16. Do you like ask games?

Definitely. I don’t always answer the asks in a timely manner but I do love writing about my OCs

17. Which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

Not a clue. Got some mutuals that seem to be well established and appreciated members of the SWTOR fandom but no one appears to be tumblr famous.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Funny story. My partner and I actually met because we were tumblr mutuals. We were both in the Mass Effect fandom and just started DMing each other about our OCs. Started playing Mass Effect 3 online matches together and eventually decided to try out a long distant relationship. It worked and we’ve been living together for five ish years now.

Don’t currently have any crushes on any mutuals but my partner and I are poly so who knows what may happen in the future lol

#about raven #long post

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devitalise · 3 years ago

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ok ok ok today is the day!! so these are just my thoughts after listening to it twice so my opinions will probably change, but holy shit it didn't suck?? i'm not selling my tickets charli is back woo

oh and i expect an equally detailed review from your end as well lmao i want to know all your thoughts

Crash

fuck yeah!!! an incredible opening to the album. it's fun, accessible to mainstream audiences while still being fresh and experimental. i think it has potential to be both a radio and tiktok hit

10/10

New Shapes

ngl this one was a grower. the verses are so different, yet cohesive that they really pull it together, but the chorus is too repetitive and really brings the song down as a result. it's pretty specific so i'd say another flaw is having to be in a specific mood to truly enjoy it

6.5/10

Good Ones

the only single i think should have been a single lmao. wonderfully addictive and nostalgic and most of all sexy

9/10

Constant Repeat

love the outro, the rest is just so mediocre and it just does nothing for me. to me it fails to embody the emotion and excitement of fixating of someone. i think a remix focusing on the outro could be great though

3/10

Beg For You

still clueless as to how such an iconic dou managed to make such a souless song. it's honestly just a cover of cry for you and for a dance song it actively makes me not want to dance. honestly sad to see something so uncreative by artists i know to be capable of so much more

1/10

Move Me

the chorus feels like N1 Angel Charli and I really like that, but ngl the rest of the song sort of bores me. i doubt i'll ever listen to it on it's own, but maybe i wouldn't skip it

5/10

Baby

the begining is absolutely batshit charli gave it her all, but unfortunately it's all downhill from there. the chorus makes me want to skip it instantly. such a missed opportunity i really hope a remix salvages it

4/10

Lighting

an incredible take on mainstream pop. the acoustic guitar with the heavy production and the isolated vocals of the pre-chorus were fantastic. still manges to feel very fresh while also holding onto the 80s inspiration and charli's hyperpop flare. can really see this growing on me even more

10/10

Every Rule

really disappointed by the quality of the lyrics. the beat is nice, but overall the song feels underdeveloped. it's in desperate need of a powerful chorus, without it this just feels like a lackluster ambient track. the stardew valley soundtrack resemblance is uncanny though lol

3/10

Yuck

the 2010s tumblr nostalgia/kim petris vibe is such a nice blend and it's just such a cute crush song. i think a rina verse on this would be stunning. this really is such a summer album, can't wait to be out in the sun with this song blasting

10/10

Used To Know Me

i'm personally not a fan the eurovision/y2k rave sound and i don't think this brings that much new to the table, but i see how some people could love it

1/10

Twice

"something fun, something summertime, something for the girls to get ready to and party" lol. this feels like a blend of the hifn and the early charli sound and it's so comforting. the outro is a nice touch and i think it's a great ending to the album

9/10

hiiii!! omg yeah i'm going to see her for sure now like she put me through SO much these past couple months like the singles really made me doubt her i was scared, i was very scared i'm on my 2nd listen now and i really like it!!!! ok track by track thoughts to be fair

crash - this is such a solid opener like this is a really good song i like it. really good intro into the sound of the album i love the guitar at the end. gets better with every listen. finally the production quality i've been waiting for

new shapes - crash the song makes this sound SO much better like i'm sold on it listening to it on the album. even caroline's part makes sense to me now it's like a completely different song to me

good ones - this has grown on me it sounds good on the album still not mad about it as a song

constant repeat - i LOVE this song i think this song is so fucking good. love the beat on this and the vibe. i'm going to have this on repeat a lot she really knew what she was doing here. there's something very true romance about this song

beg for you - why. i'm still not a big fan of this song like charli x rina could have done something so much more interesting but i don't hate it enough to skip and it fits on the album. shouldn't have been a single

move me - this is going to grow on me i love a slower song from charli see: official. the beat on this is really nice. definitely get what you mean about the number 1 angel vibe it's like. a darker version that i like song for a specifc mood

baby - production sounds so much better listening to it on the album. it just doesn't work as a single but on the album? it fucks. the start of the song is the best part like that first 40 seconds? that's music. it works after move me to like brighten the mood. idk why she there's not a "it's charli, baby" lyric on this song of all songs

lightning - i really like the chorus on this more true romance vibes for me. a grower in the good way like i imagine i won't hear this for a couple months and it'll come on shuffle and sound so fucking good. like she's experimented on this and it still feels like charli - more of this!

every rule - idk how i feel about this song. i think it'll be like official on charli where it was kind of like ok?? whatever and then i heard it again later down the line when i was in the mood and it really clicked for me. shouldn't have been a single but i get why she wanted to give this a moment to be absorbed on its own

yuck - this song is so fun it'll go stupid on tiktok. it's a summer song in the same way number 1 angel is a summer ep. love the production on this. hope it makes the crash setlist

used to know me - this is what beg for you thought it was doing. i don't mind a dance hit but it's not really to my tastes right now but i can see this growing on me for sure. like on a night out? or if i was a festival kind of babe? yeah this song would do it for me. rina on this? missed opportunity

twice - i like this song! love the slight hyperpop feel on this it makes me miss SOPHIE but i'll play this a lot for sure

album thoughts: - i'm glad all my worrying came to nothing because i really like this album! i went back to some of our earlier asks and i said it'd be good but then the singles kept dropping and it wasn't looking good. i'm so glad the album is out and charli's basically been like yeah don't worry, i always deliver

this is like the perfect combination of two of my favourite charli albums: true romance and number 1 angel and i'm glad it sounds like a full commitment to this new sound that the singles just weren't getting across. i'm really happy with it and yeah :)

what will we talk about now?

#what a journey it's been anon #i enjoy it so much and i know i'm just going to like it more as time goes on #this was my most anticipated album of 2022 so i'm glad music hasn't disappointed me #and i have been completely stockholm syndromed by new shapes #idk what the thinking was with the singles like i just don't get it but i have constant repeat now so charlotte can be forgiven #i love liking things #charli xcx #anonymous

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