#and angry as you might be you deserve it to
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too little, too late
(8x08 coda) (buddie) (1.2k) the episode chose violence and so did i :) spoilers for 8x08, and hey, guess what? this is my 100th 911 fic! it feels right that it's an evil one <3
The real estate agent has an irritating voice. It’s pitchy and run through with vocal fry, and if Buck has to listen to her talk for another second, he might actually tear his hair out. And it’s definitely about her voice. Nothing to do with the largely helpful information she’s handing over to Eddie like candy on Halloween.
“Anyway, we can touch base again once you’ve had a chance to look over those listings. I’m sure we’ll find something for both of you to love!” the realtor says.
Buck smiles. It feels brittle and fake.
“Thank you so much,” Eddie says with all the sincerity Buck can’t quite muster. He ends the call and sits back against the couch.
“That, uh—that went, um—” He’s choking on the positivity he’s trying so hard to exude. “—well,” he manages.
“Yeah,” Eddie says. He runs a hand through his hair. “Seems easier than I thought it was going to be.”
Easy.
That’s—
Yeah.
“You know you—you don’t have to buy straight away,” Buck says as casually as he can manage, which is to say, not casually at all.
“Buck,” Eddie says with a sigh.
“I know!” Buck says, throwing his hands out in a gesture of surrender. “Just—maybe you want to make sure, you know? Before it’s—it’s permanent.”
“I can’t keep missing out on his life,” Eddie says quietly.
Buck swallows. He knows. He knows! Knows it like he knows there’s going to be an Eddie-and-Chris shaped hole in his heart for the rest of his goddamn life.
“I don’t want you to,” Buck says, and it’s maybe the first honest thing that’s come out of his mouth since he sat down on Eddie’s couch.
Bile rises in the back of his throat as he realizes this might be one of the last times he gets to sit on this couch, in this house, with this man.
Eddie drops his head into his hands. “I don’t—” He cuts himself off.
“Have you told Bobby yet?” Buck asks. His breath catches.
“No,” Eddie says.
“Oh,” Buck says in a rush of air. “That’s—” He wants to say good. He can’t say good. Eddie needs—he needs—
Eddie lifts his head from his hands and his eyes are shining. “I don’t want to,” he admits. “I thought—”
“That he’d want to come back,” Buck supplies when Eddie doesn’t finish his thought.
He nods.
“He still—he could still—” Buck starts.
“He’s not going to change his mind.” Eddie cuts him off. “He doesn’t hate me. It’s worse than that. He doesn’t care.”
Buck’s chest feels tight. “He—he loves you, Eddie,” he says weakly.
“Maybe before, but—”
“He does,” Buck insists. “And—and if this is what you have to do to make sure that stays true I—I get it.” He does. He gets it. He’d do anything for Christopher. He’d—
It’s the worst feeling in the entire fucking world, but he’d give up Eddie for that kid. Is. Is giving up Eddie for that kid. A sob jumps up in Buck’s throat. He fights it back.
“I want to believe you,” Eddie says.
Buck knows that he doesn’t.
“Have you, um. Have you talked to Chris about this yet?” Buck asks, feeling a little bit like he’s just laid his neck across the base of a guillotine.
Eddie shakes his head. “No, I—I’ve got to do this, whether he wants me to or not.”
All at once Buck’s angry. Angry at Eddie, angry at his parents, at fucking Kim, at himself, and maybe even a little bit at Christopher.
“Eddie, you—you told him he could come back!” He says, a little louder than he means to. “Doesn’t he deserve to know that’s not going to be an option anymore?”
Eddie’s gaze snaps to his. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s got—he’s got friends here, and—and Carla, and—” He can’t say it. He doesn’t have the right to say it, doesn’t have the right to feel like he’s already lost a limb and now they’re taking a lung, but— “and me,” he finishes quietly.
Something like devastation flashes across Eddie’s face. “Buck, I—”
“No,” Buck says quickly, standing up from the couch. “I shouldn’t have—I’m not—”
“Buck, wait,” Eddie says, following him as he retreats toward the door.
“I, um—I forgot, I have to—I promised Maddie,” he tries to lie.
“Please don’t go,” Eddie says, and god, how many times in Buck’s life has he yearned to hear someone say that to him and mean it. How many nights has he driven home from Eddie’s wishing he’d been asked to stay.
This thing building in his chest, this thing of anger and grief and regret—it hurts. Every breath he takes is a little more constricted, a little less effective.
Eddie looks at him, and Buck sees it. That thing he’s always wanted to see. That thing he didn’t even know he wanted from Eddie until right now and it’s—
There was a small, naïvely hopeful part of Buck that really still believe that if someone loved him enough, they’d stay. Eddie loves him, looks at Buck like he’ll break his heart when he walks out the door, and it still isn’t—
Eddie loves him, and it isn’t enough to make him stay.
Buck is in love with him, he realizes, and it doesn’t fucking matter because he’s leaving. Like Abby and like Tommy, except Buck didn’t know how much hurt he hadn’t even discovered yet, because this isn’t Abby or Tommy, it’s Eddie, and Eddie—
Eddie’s supposed to be the one that stays.
Buck shakes his head and shuffles back until the doorknob is digging into his spine. “I have to,” he breathes, a grossly distorted reflection of what neither of them has quite managed to say.
Eddie opens his mouth like he’s going to ask again, like he’s going to beg Buck to stay, to show him all these awful pieces of his heart that he’s just found so he can remind himself that it’s not too much to leave behind.
Buck’s out the door before he can say another word.
He throws himself into the Jeep and all but fishtails it out of Eddie’s driveway. He makes it three streets away before he has to pull over.
The first sob surprises him with its softness; the second with its violence. He wraps his arms tight around his stomach and, god, he tries to breathe. But there’s not—there’s not enough oxygen in the entire world to make up for the way his lungs refuse to expand in the face of this loss.
He has to—he can’t—Eddie needs him to pull it together. To—to help him. To support him, and god help him, Buck will. There’s nothing Eddie could ask of him that he wouldn’t give. Nothing Eddie could do, Buck’s realizing, to make him love him any less.
Hot tears spill down Buck’s cheeks. He takes a shuddering breath and wipes them away. His vital organs are crumbling, so what?
He’ll set himself on fire if that’s what it takes to keep Eddie warm.
#911fic#911 fic#buddiefic#buddie fic#911#buddie#fic#911 spoilers#coda#abbie writes#abbie commits to the torture nexus <3#i have lighthearted ideas but that's for Later
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Naturally
Wolf!Natasha x Reader
In one universe, your mate was the doe hybrid Wanda Maximoff. In this other universe, your animal-human hybrid mate was your best friend.
Natasha Romanoff. Your wolf pal and fellow co-owner of the Westview Animal Hybrids Sanctuary.
She was your best friend, you started the sanctuary after serving in the armed forces together. The sanctuary’s staff was made of your former teammates including Natasha and her sister Yelena.
Honestly, you had to ask yourself how you hadn’t fallen for her sooner. She had your back and you had hers. You’d laugh at each other’s hidden jokes. Yelena would occasionally give you and her sideways glances.
Natasha felt her feelings stir for you. Every time you smiled in her direction, she could feel her tail begin to wag. Her ears would fall happily a little every time she heard your footsteps.
One such incident happened as you were helping to move supplies into the new Westview Sanctuary complex.
She heard your footsteps. Her tail wagged happily, her ears dropped, and then she saw you hauling boxes in. The light catching your arms just right. Natasha found her heart racing. And then your eyes met hers. Your mouth formed into a gentle smile.
“Hey Natasha” you said with a smile.
“H-hey you” she tried to form a sentence
“Can you—“
“Yeah?” Her tail starred wagging furiously
“Can you get the door for me? I just need to move these things into your office”
“Oh right”
It was driving her nuts. She was head over heels in love with her best friend. It felt so amazing and yet so forbidden at the same time. The mere thought of you was driving her crazy.
Little did your wolf pal realize you were having the same thoughts and the same dilemma. The only difference was you put your frustrations into working out with Yelena.
“You practically wear your heart on sleeve, (Y/N)” the blonde haired wolf snickers at you.
“What are you talking about, Lena?” You give her a slight angry yet confused look
“Oh do not play dumb with me,” she shakes her head, “you and Nattie are totally into each other”
“Me and Natasha?” You try to hide the growing blush on your face. “She’s my best friend, closer to a sister”
“I’m her sister, she does not look at me the way she does at you”
“You’re crazy”
“No you are (Y/N). I’ve only seen Natasha happy around you.” Yelena replies. “You both work so hard for the Sanctuary to run, you deserve to be happy together”
“Thanks Lena,” you sigh, “you’re actually really insightful”
“Thanks. But touch my mac and cheese again and I will kill you” she flashes her claws at you playfully.
Yelena walks out of the gym as Natasha walks in. “go get your chew toy, Fifi” the blonde wolf tells her red headed sister.
“What?” Natasha asks.
She walks up to you, a gentle smile on her face and an enticing swish to her tail.
Natasha picks up a pair of boxing gloves and tosses another pair to you. “You look confused, Chief,” she says with a smile.
“Had a lot on my brain, Nat,” you shrug, “how are the other hybrids adjusting?”
“We got several choosing or calling dibs on rooms,” she replies.
“And you?”
“I’m partial to the little cave out in the courtyard. I’m gonna put in a flat screen, a couch, a kitchenette and a foosball table”
“Foosball? You know I would kick your butt at that!”
“Or you might be too busy staring at it” she mutters
“What?”
“What?!” She blushes. “L-let’s go a round. You and me right now!”
“You’re on, wolf pal of mine!” You jump into the boxing ring and Natasha joins you
By the end of the round, you were pinned to the mat and Natasha was straddling you.
“I win” she purrs
“No contest” you respond. The two of you just look at each other. Her reddish brown wolf tail swishes as she looks at you adoringly.
You were left all sweaty and Natasha noticed, her heart racing with excitement and anticipation. How badly she just wanted to bend further down and kiss you right then and there.
“G-Good job” she tries to say but every part of her brain was on the fritz. “I’m gonna…go…for a run”
Natasha ran off to the sanctuary running track. You were only left with your thoughts.
This line of work you entered with your two best friends was difficult, prone to more bouts of heartache and pain. But if you were going to share that life with anyone, you wanted it to be with her. Her smile, her sense of humor, the way she always knew what to say. You loved her more than anything in the world.
You ran out after her. “Natasha!” You shouted, “wait up!!” She, due to her wolf like agility, was already running laps around the track.
Her mind was racing. It wasn’t right. You were her best friend; you were full human, she was a hybrid. She had a past involving the Red Room. You only dealt with the Red Room on raids. She was—
“Natasha!” Your voice broke through her rampant thoughts.
“H-Hey (Y/N), what’s up?” She said as she came to a halt
“Well besides my best wolf friend running out on me, not much,” you shrug. “Nat I need to tell you something”
“And I need to tell you something too” her eyes show a bit of worry.
You and her found yourselves trying to formulate what to tell each other. And then it all came out as a combined word salad: “I’m in love with you…wait!…what?!…you love me??”
Natasha found herself blushing and her tail wagging furiously, “f-for how long?”
“As long as I can remember. And you?”
“Military training. Day one.” She answers with a giggle. “But I’m a hybrid. A wolf hybrid. I-I’m not sure what the rules are about this”
“You’re still human.” You shrug, “besides we’re best friends and we love each other. What more does anyone need to know?”
“Could you really love me? I mean with my past and…”
You kiss her cheek, “I can and I do”
Natasha’s eyes water up with joyful tears, “oh malysh”
She launches into your arms, hugging you tightly. Natasha pulls back, giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. You gently take her face in your hands.
“I love you Natasha Romanoff. You’re my best friend. My love. My everything.”
“You’re my everything,” she whispers as she closes the distance between her lips and yours.
Her tail wags happily, she wraps her legs around your waist and the sudden shift in balance causes you to fall to the soft grass lawn.
You share a little laugh with your best friend and someday very soon, mate.
“Get a room…or a cave” Yelena laughs from the track although inside she was cheering for you and Natasha.
It was a long road ahead for you and Natasha. A road full of tears and laughter. A road of fear and courage. Honestly, you were looking forward to walk down that road, hand in hand with the wolf girl of your dreams.
Loving her just came so naturally.
Tags @supercorpdanbeau @lifespectator @ma1egamer @russianredassassin @revanshand @iiconicsfan25 @deafeningsharkslimeempath @jacenradio7 @aloneodi @ab1nsur @iamnicodemus @pinklawyerwinnerzonk
#marvel#marvel fluff#marvel imagine#mcu#mcu imagine#mcu fandom#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow x reader#scarlett johansson#black widow#wolf Natasha#werewolf Natasha#wolf hybrid
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𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗽 𝗮𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 | 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗣𝘁𝟐
Warnings: None
Maknaeline x Reader. Angst.
Pt1
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ᒍIᔕᑌᑎG
The hours after Jisung had walked away felt endless. The silence in the apartment was suffocating, filled with all the words you wanted to say but hadn’t. You replayed the moment in your head over and over, wishing you could take back your careless joke - wishing you had realized sooner how much Jisung had been hurting.
It was a only an hour later when you worked up the courage to knock on his bedroom door.
You and Jisung had always been so connected to each other you had never been angry with each other for more than an hour before one of you went to fix things. And this time you knew you had to be the initiate it.
There was no answer at first, and for a moment, you thought he might be asleep or just ignoring you. But then, you heard the softest sound - a sniffle, barely audible but enough to tell you that he was still awake, and still hurting.
You knocked again, more gently this time. “Jisung? Can I come in?”
A few seconds passed before you heard his quiet, broken voice. “It’s open.”
You pushed the door open slowly, stepping into the dimly lit room. Jisung propped up against the foot of his bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his face buried in his arms. His shoulders were shaking, and you immediately started crying as well.
Without saying a word, you sat down beside him, your hand resting gently on his back. You sniffled as well and at first he didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge you, but after a few long moments, he finally leaned into you, embracing you as he spoke, his voice thick with emotion.
“I hate feeling like this,” he cried, his face hidden in your hair. “I hate that no matter what I do, it feels like I’m never good enough at anything other than what people say I'm good at.”
You cried as well. “You are good enough, Jisung. More than good enough.” You sobbed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. You are good enough baby."
He shook his head, his voice trembling. “Then why does it feel like no one takes me seriously? Like I’m just...there for comic relief or being cute?”
The pain in his voice was palpable, and you realized just how deeply your words had cut him. Jisung, who was always so full of life and energy, was crumbling under the weight of his own doubts, and you had unintentionally added to that burden.
“I’m so sorry,” you whined, your voice breaking. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I was just trying to make you laugh, but I didn’t realize how much you were hurting.” You sniffed and choked on your sobs in a rather ugly manner.
He finally looked up at you then, his eyes red and swollen from crying- looking just as messy as you felt as he sniffed up his snot loudly. “It’s not just you,” he said. “It’s... everything. Everyone. I feel like I’m always falling short, no matter how hard I try.”
You wiped away your tears, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek. It was wet with tears, and you saw the humor in Jisung's eyes when he saw how snotty your face was as well as his. You couldn't help but both break out laughing amidst the chaotic emotions.
“You’re not falling short, Jisung. You’re amazing at everything you do. You’re talented, hardworking, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel like that wasn’t enough. It is enough for me- matter of fact it's more than I deserve. You're not just there for comic relief of being cute. You are funny and you're the single most-cutest thing I have ever seen; but you are also the kindest soul, so smart, and sweet and gentle, and the best boyfriend. The best person to love.”
Jisung leaned into your touch, his eyes closing as a fresh tear slipped down his cheek.
“You’re not a joke,” you reassured firmly, your thumb brushing away his tears and snot. “You’re so much more than that. You’re kind, passionate, and you put your heart into everything you do. You deserve to be taken seriously, and I’m sorry I didn’t show you that earlier.”
He opened his eyes again, searching your face as if looking for the truth in your words. “Do you really think that?”
“I know that,” you whispered, your voice full of sincerity. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you if that’s what it takes.”
For a moment, Jisung didn’t say anything, but then, slowly, a small, fragile smile appeared on his lips. It wasn’t his usual playful grin, but it was a start - a sign that maybe, just maybe, the weight on his heart was starting to lift.
He leaned forward, his breath shaky but steadying. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For seeing me.”
“I’ll always see you, Jisung,” you whispered back, your hand gently running through his hair. “Always.”
The two of you sat there in the quiet of his room, the unspoken promises hanging in the air. Jisung sniffed and you guys looked at each other, his body relaxing against yours as the tension faded away.
"You look a mess." He commented, placing a closed eyed kiss on the corner of your lips and then nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
You smiled and laughed. "You're one to talk." You said, wiping your face.
"I want to cuddle." He said, smiling as you guys laid down with each other.
And as you held him, letting him tell you about everything under the sun in between kisses, you knew that while the doubts and insecurities he had might never fully disappear- as for most people- you would be there to help him through it. Because no matter what, Jisung wasn’t alone. And you would never let him be.
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ᖴEᒪI᙭
Four days passed since the argument, and the silence between you and Felix had been deafening. You hadn’t gone to work- your absence marked by the sudden wave of cold and flu symptoms that hit you not long after that terrible night. You had remembered it had been rather cold in his living room, and maybe this cold was payback for you hurting Felix but either way, you were grateful to have an excuse to hide from the world. The pain of what happened with Felix, however, refused to go away, and still ate at you visibly.
You had barely left your bed, bundled up in blankets with tissues and medicine scattered around your nightstand. Your phone was filled with missed calls and unread messages from concerned friends, but nothing from Felix. That was, until the fourth day. There was a soft knock on your front door, followed by another, more insistent knock when you didn't answer right away. With a groggy sigh, you slowly forced yourself to your feet, shuffling to the door and opening it just a crack, even if you didn't feel like it.
Felix stood there, looking hesitant, holding a plastic bag filled with soup containers, medicine, and tissues. He looked at you with wide eyes, taking in your messy hair, the red-tipped nose, and the dark circles under your eyes. You looked miserable, and his expression softened immediately.
“I was in a rush so I forgot the extra key- I heard you called off work.” he said gently, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “For four days. Are you okay?”
You swallowed, feeling your throat burn. "Just a cold," you mumbled, stepping back to let him in. You couldn't find it in yourself to tell him to leave, even though the ache in your chest was still raw. Seeing him made you want to burst into tears, even though you knew you were cause for the problem. Felix stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and closing the door behind him, the sound loud in the stillness of the apartment.
He set the bag down on your kitchen counter, then turned to you, his face filled with concern. "I thought you might need some soup or something,” he said, his voice gentle, like a caress. "So, I had Minho Hyung help me make some, he said to keep him updated and that he hopes you feel better. He helped me make your favorite cake too so we can eat it when you feel like it."
"Thank you," you said softly, your voice scratchy. You stood there, arms wrapped around yourself, unsure of what to say. You didn’t want to make things worse, but you also knew you couldn’t just pretend everything was fine.
Felix didn't seem to concerned about anything other than you though, and he gently grabbed you by the shoulders. "You should be in bed though, so go lay down while I fix all of this stuff up. Hm?" you noticed the way his gaze softened as he looked at you. “You look terrible.” He said it lightly, teasingly, but there was an edge of guilt in his tone.
You felt a lump rise in your throat, a spur of tears suddenly stinging your eyes. You didn’t want to cry- not now, not in front of him- but you couldn’t help it. The stress, the sickness, and the weight of what had happened between you and how Felix seemed to just let it go all crashed down at once, and before you could stop yourself, a sob escaped your lips.
Felix’s eyes widened in alarm. "Hey, hey, no," he said quickly, stepping forward and gently placing a hand on your shoulder. "You’re too sick to be crying like this, baby."
But you shook your head, your tears falling faster. "No," you choked out, your voice breaking. "I need to say this. I need you to know-" You paused, swallowing hard, forcing yourself to meet his eyes even though it hurt. "I’m so sorry, Felix. I didn’t mean what I said that night. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you’re not enough or that you’re just…just this one thing. I love you for you, and I never wanted to make you doubt that. I just…I didn’t know how much you were struggling."
Felix’s expression crumbled, his own eyes filling with unshed tears as he listened to your broken apology. He moved closer, his hand cupping your cheek, thumb brushing away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. "Shh, don’t cry," he said softly, his voice shaking. "Please, you’re sick, and you’re going to make yourself feel worse-"
"No, I need you to hear this," you insisted, your voice hoarse but determined. You reached up, clutching his wrist as if afraid he might pull away. "I don’t care if you’re not always happy. I don’t need you to be sunshine all the time, Felix. I just need you. The real you. And I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you had to be anything else."
Felix let out a shaky breath, his thumb still caressing your cheek. He looked down, his forehead pressing gently against yours, and you felt the warmth of his breath on your skin. "I was scared," he admitted, his voice raw and vulnerable. "I was scared that if I wasn’t enough, if I wasn’t the person everyone expected me to be, then I’d lose everything. I didn’t mean to push you away, but I…I didn’t know how to deal with it."
You shook your head, your tears slowing as you looked into his eyes, feeling the honesty in his words. "You don’t have to be anything but yourself. I love you, and nothing will change that."
For a moment, there was only silence, the weight of your words hanging in the air. Then, Felix pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest, his fingers tangling in your knotted hair, brushing it out. You felt the relief wash over you as he buried his face in your neck, his breath hitching like he was holding back his own tears.
"I’m sorry," he whispered, his voice muffled against your skin. "I’m so sorry for leaving that night, for not talking to you. I just… I just really didn’t know how to handle it."
You wrapped your arms around him, holding him just as tightly, your face pressed against the warmth of his shoulder. "We can handle it together,” you murmured, your voice soft and steady now. "I’m not going anywhere, Lix. I’m here. Always."
Felix pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes shining with tears, and he gave you a small, shaky smile. "I love you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than anything."
“I love you too,” you whispered back, and he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle, lingering kiss that tasted of salt and unspoken promises. It was soft and tender, filled with all the words you couldn’t say, and when he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his smile real and warm this time.
"Lix...you're going to be sick now." You let out exasperatedly.
"Well, it was worth it because I missed you, love." He smiled. “Let’s get you back to bed, yeah?” he continued softly, wiping away the last of your tears with his thumb. “I brought soup, and you need to rest.”
You nodded, feeling the exhaustion settle back in now that the weight had been lifted. Felix led you back to your room, tucking you in with the blankets and bringing the soup to your bedside. He sat with you while you ate, his fingers gently playing with yours, his presence a comforting warmth.
And as you lay there, Felix’s hand in yours you knew that regardless of what insecurities he had, while he sometimes felt his world was dark- he'd always be the light in yours.
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ᔕEᑌᑎGᗰIᑎ
The silence in the room was suffocating, and you felt it wrap around you, squeezing tighter with every passing second after Seungmin left. You stood there, your chest tight, unsure of what to do or say. What just happened? You thought you understood, but you were so wrong. You wanted to fix things. You needed to fix things.
It wasn’t maybe even an hour before you heard the door creak back open. You turned, almost expecting him to not be there, but the figure standing in the doorway was Seungmin, looking smaller, his shoulders hunched. His usual confidence was gone, replaced by a vulnerability that made your heart ache for him. He was holding something small in his hand, but you couldn’t tell what it was.
"Seungmin," you immediately started, your voice shaky as you stepped toward him. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I never wanted to hurt you. I just…I didn’t know what to do. I wanted you to open up but I made things worse and I'm so sorry. I never want you to feel like I'm trying to hurt you. Because that's the last thing I want to do."
Seungmin didn’t respond immediately. He looked down at the ground, his thumb absently tracing the edges of the small box he was holding. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he let out a long sigh and finally spoke.
"I’m the one who should be apologizing, YN." he said quietly, still not meeting your eyes. "I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. But I… I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. I didn’t know how to talk about it, and I didn’t want to drag you into it."
You tilted your head, confused. "What do you mean? Struggling with what?"
Seungmin hesitated, his hand tightening around the box. He glanced up at you, then back down at the object in his hand. "Our anniversary is coming up...and...I’ve been thinking about proposing. And...it scared me. To the point I shut myself off from you..."
You blinked, processing the words. "Proposing? But…why?" You immediately started tearing up. "Shit...I thought you pulled away because you wanted to break up...I..." You let out a nervous giggle, as you fanned your face. "But...you're scared- why?"
He paused, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, his voice cracked ever so slightly. "Because… I didn’t know if you’d say yes. And that made me doubt everything I thought I knew about myself. I’ve always been the dependable one, the one people turn to…but I’ve never been the one people choose first. And I guess I was scared. Scared that you’d think I wasn’t enough, scared you’d see me as just… Seungmin. The guy who’s always there, but never the guy you truly want."
Your heart ached. You stepped closer to him, reaching out slowly as if he were fragile. "Seungmin…I…I never thought that. I never would. You were never my second choice. You've always and forever will be my first."
He looked up at you then, his eyes conflicted, his lip trembling the slightest amount. "I thought you’d be better off with someone else. Someone who…doesn’t have this baggage. Someone who’s not always so quiet and distant when they don't know how to deal with something. How am I supposed to be a good husband when I can't even deal with my own problems sometimes-"
You shook your head, reaching out and gently taking his hand, the one with the box in it. "You’re wrong. I’ve never felt that way. You don’t have to be someone else for me. I love you for who you are. And for all the problems that come with you. I don't need anything changed for me to want to be with you because I already love you."
Seungmin looked at you, his eyes softening just a little. "I’ve always been afraid of letting you see me as weak," he admitted quietly. "I thought you’d think less of me. That I wasn’t good enough. I was wrong...I guess."
You smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "Yes, you were Seungmin." You chuckled. "Thats a first- getting to tell you you're wrong."
You took a breath. "But that doesn't make me anymore right. I wasn't able to figure out when you were struggling. Maybe-"
"Aish! Jagiya! No! Stop." Seungmin shook his head ferociously. "Don't...my problems aren't yours to deal with-"
"But they are, MinMin." You urged quietly. "We're going to dedicate the rest of our lives to each other so our problems are going to be for both of us to solve together, okay? You don’t need to be perfect for me. You’re enough, always. And I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t. And for letting those insecurities root down in you. I love you Kim Seungmin."
There was a long pause before Seungmin took a deep breath and finally spoke again. "I love you, Y/N." He let his head fall onto your shoulder, as you pat his head.
His eyes fell to the box again, and with a small, tentative smile, he opened it, revealing a delicate ring inside. It was beautiful, simple yet elegant, just like him. Your breath caught in your throat.
"Seungmin…" you whispered, your voice barely above a breath.
He looked up at you, his expression vulnerable but hopeful. "I was going to ask you to marry me, on our anniversary but I don't want to wait anymore...besides you already said yes, technically. I mean you said we're dedicating are lives to each other." He explained as he slipped the ring on your finger.
"Of course, I want to be with you. You’re everything to me."
Seungmin’s eyes shone with happiness. "Well just for tradition will you marry me?"
Your heart fluttered as you nodded, a soft laugh escaping your lips as you grabbed his cheeks gently. "Yes, Seungmin. Yes."
He smiled and kissed you lips softly.
"Now," you said with a soft smile, "Can I give you my anniversary gift early? Since you've already given yours early?"
Seungmin smiled faintly, and for the first time in what felt like forever, it was genuine, reaching his eyes. "I’d love that."
You quickly grabbed the small gift bag from the coffee table and handed it to him. He opened it to find a framed photo of the two of you from the first time you had gone on a trip together. It was a moment of pure joy, frozen in time. Paired with it was a small leather bound journal, filled with notes you had written whenever you thought about him since your first anniversary. You fidgeted nervously.
"I know it’s not much," you said softly, "But it’s us. And I want to remember us, every moment."
Seungmin gazed at the photo, his expression softening. He looked up at you, his voice low and filled with affection, his eyes a little glassy. "It’s perfect. You're perfect."
The tension between you was gone now, replaced by a newfound understanding. You stepped into his arms, and he wrapped you in a warm embrace, holding you close.
"I’m sorry," you murmured again, this time with more certainty. "I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I promise I’ll do better."
"No more apologies Jagiya," Seungmin said, his voice full of tenderness. "We’ll figure this out, together. I believe that with all my soul. But for right now let's focus on us." He kissed your nose and then your hand on which the ring was place. "Let forever focus on us."
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ᒍEOᑎGIᑎ
For the next few days, the silence between you and Jeongin was suffocating. He had distanced himself, giving polite responses to your texts but never lingering long enough to have a real conversation if you saw him in person. It tore you apart to see him like this, to know that you had hurt him in a way you never intended.
The truth was, Jeongin’s unintended vulnerability was something you cherished. His soft heart, his kindness, his playful nature- those were the things that made you love him even more. You had taken them for granted, never realizing how much he felt the weight of the "maknae" label.
And you needed to make things right.
On the third night after the argument, you decided you couldn’t let another day go by without apologizing properly. You headed to the dorm he shared with Chan, clutching a small bag that contained his favorite snacks, a note you’d written, and something else that you hoped would show him just how much you cared for every bit of him.
When you arrived, Chan let you in, and you found Jeongin sitting alone in the living room, headphones on, staring blankly at his phone, the little pout you adored . He didn’t notice you until you called his name softly.
"Innie…"
He looked up, surprise- and what you thought might be relief flashing in his eyes, but his expression quickly closed off. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice flat and tired, but with a hint of something else.
You swallowed hard, feeling the nerves twist in your stomach. "Can we talk? Please?"
Jeongin hesitated, his gaze flickering to the door as if he was debating whether to make an escape. But after a moment, he sighed and nodded, pulling off his headphones and setting them aside. "Fine," he said quietly, though the guarded look in his eyes didn’t disappear.
You sat down next to him, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body, close enough to inhale his scent, but careful not to touch him. "Jeongin, I’m so, so sorry," you began, your voice shaking with the weight of your regret. "What I said the other day…it was thoughtless and hurtful. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t taken seriously or that you don’t work just as hard- no, harder -than everyone else."
He didn’t say anything, but his gaze softened just a little, a sign that he was listening.
"I love you, Innie," you continued, your words coming out in a rush. "I love everything about you, not just because you’re the youngest or because you’re cute. I love how strong you are, how you always manage to keep a smile even when things get tough. You work so hard, and I see it- every single day. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I didn’t."
His expression wavered, and you could see the struggle in his eyes. He wanted to believe you, but the wound you had unknowingly opened was still raw.
Reaching into the bag you’d brought, you pulled out the small box of snacks he loved, handing it to him as a peace offering. "I know this won’t fix everything," you said, your voice soft, "But I wanted to show you that I care. And…I made something for you."
Jeongin looked down at the snacks, his fingers brushing over the familiar packaging, with a miniature smile, but it was the second item you pulled out that made him freeze.
It was a photo album, small and simple, filled with pictures you had taken of him over the course of your relationship- moments he probably hadn’t even realized you’d captured. There were shots of him laughing, concentrating, dancing, and even the candid moments when he thought no one was watching. On the first page, you had written:
I see you, Jeongin. Every part of you.
"Jagiya..." He whined, tears welled up in his eyes as he flipped through the pages, his fingers trembling slightly. He stopped on a picture of him practicing late at night- a night where you had stopped by to make sure he was taking care of himself- a night where you had, evidently, take a picture of him exhaustion evident on his face but determination burning in his eyes. It was a photo that perfectly captured the weight he carried.
"You took this?" he asked, his voice cracking.
You nodded. "I see you, Innie. I always have. I just didn’t realize how much I had missed…until now. Maybe I was focusing on how perfect you are to me so much that I missed the parts of yourself I could have helped you love more...I'm sorry."
Jeongin’s face crumpled, and before you could react, he set the album down and pulled you into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around you, holding you close, his face buried in your shoulder. You could feel his body shaking, and you held him just as tightly, your own tears spilling over.
"I’m sorry," you whispered over and over into his hair, feeling the warmth of his breath against your neck. "I never want to hurt you like that again. I want to be the person who sees you for who you are, who supports you, and loves you without making you feel small."
Jeongin didn’t pull away, his grip on you tightening instead. “I was so scared,” his voice was muffled and thick with emotion. "I was scared you’d break up with me because I was being childish over this. And when I realized you loved me too much to do that, I was afraid you'd see the childishness in it and see that I just proved your point- I'm just a baby in the end aren't I?"
Your heart shattered at the raw vulnerability in his words. You pulled back just enough to cup his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. "Never, Jeongin. Never. You belong right here with me. And you're not childish. Not at all to me. We all struggle with expression sometimes." you said firmly. "I’m so proud of who you are- every part of you. Even the parts that need work."
A slow, shaky smile spread across his face, his dimples reappearing, and he let out a soft, relieved laugh. "I don’t deserve you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.
"Yes, you do," you said, your voice gentle but unwavering. “You deserve everything, Innie. That's why your hyungs spoil you so much. Not because you're the youngest. But because you undoubtedly deserve all of it."
You saw the light return to his eyes, the tension easing from his shoulders. He leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your lips- a kiss that spoke of forgiveness, of understanding, and of a love that went far beyond the roles you were expected to play.
When he pulled back, he looked down at the snacks and the album, his cheeks pink with a shy, genuine smile. "Thank you," he said softly, his fingers lacing with yours. "For seeing me…and for loving me."
"Always," you replied, squeezing his hand.
Jeongin looked at the photo album again, a small laugh escaping his lips. "You’re so cheesy, you know that?" he teased, his voice back to its usual playful tone, the spark of mischief dancing in his eyes.
"Yeah, well, you like cheesy," you shot back, nudging him playfully. "Ja- hana dul set- CHEESE!" You sung, earning a melodic laugh and dimpled smiled as he pulled you closer until you were nestled comfortably against his side, his arm wrapped around your shoulders.
"I guess I do," he admitted softly, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I guess I do."
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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha
@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric
@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee
@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin
@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun
@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael
@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads
@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld
@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9
@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg
@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon
@night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz
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#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz stay#skz reactions#stray kids#stray kids reactions#skz fluff#skz angst#skz#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#han jisung angst#han jisung fluff#lee felix angst#lee felix fluff#kim seungmin angst#kim seungmin fluff#yang jeongin angst#yang jeongin fluff#pnutbutternjelyy#🥜🧈🪼
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◁ || ▷
Kai: Everything was fine until it wasn’t. I keep trying to… Pray for answers but I can’t hear him. I think our God is angry with me. Maybe he knows that I’ll never get better.
Priest: We’ve had many conversations about your urges.
Kai: Thanks for, uh, not telling my parents by the way.
Priest: Of course, our conversations are between you, God and I.
Kai: Do you believe in forgiveness?
Priest: I believe we spend our days reaching true atonement. While it might be easier for some, others might have a much more difficult journey. However, that doesn’t mean we abandon those who struggle. What do you feel is stopping you?
Kai: I guess I’m trying to make sense of all of this.
Priest: May I offer enlightenment? If temptation is what you’re struggling with then I’m sure you aren’t alone. To fall into temptation isn’t a sin but it’s when we act on it then we truly are lost.
Kai: Really? Because I feel quite the opposite.
Priest: You haven’t… Kai?
Kai: I’m looking for forgiveness in the wrong person.
Priest: Our God isn’t a person.
Kai: Thank you for your time, Father.
Priest: Wait!
-
Kai: Wait!
Alex: I don’t want to talk to you. I didn’t think you’d have the balls to show up here.
Kai: Honestly it was a long shot, I mean you blocked my number.
Alex: As one does when going through the embarrassment of being a one night stand.
Kai: That’s not the worst thing you can be.
Alex: Not helping!
Kai: You could be me. I’ll admit, that wasn’t my brightest moment.
Kai: That night, before I called you, I was in a bit of an argument with someone I… Deeply cared about. It slipped that I liked him and the humiliation that followed put me over edge. So I called you. I called you because I needed a distraction.
Alex: Jesus.
Kai: Alex, please. Once I realized what I had done, I felt so ashamed. Not because of you, but because I’m a coward. Look, I have a lot of shit I need to sort out. My life isn’t exactly the most cheery thing out there.
Alex: Yeah, it’s clearly a vortex of evil, like thanks for dragging me in and I was the one you suspected of having an angle?
Kai: I’m sorry.
Alex: Who are you apologizing for, really?
Kai: You.
Alex: Sure.
Kai: I really do mean it.
Alex: Kai. Stop saying you’re sorry.
Kai: But-
Alex: Stop. You get me? You get what I’m trying to say? Stop pitying yourself. Stop being ashamed of yourself. That’s how you fix things.
Kai: Okay. I know I deserve a hell of a lot worse and I might be grasping at straws for asking this, but do you think we could start over? For real this time?
Alex: Hmph.
Kai: What?
Alex: I’m thinking.
Kai: Well that’s scary.
Alex: You want me to say no?
Kai: Sorry. Wait, sorry for saying-
Alex: Fine.
Kai: Really?
Alex: But only because you did the same for me a while back. I don’t like to give second chances. Be wiser this time around?
Kai: [ nods ] Y-yeah.
#alex aging like fine wine with that haircut KAI WHAT ARE U DOING#kai's like a little sour patch kid and alex is like jfc come here demon#kai really is this emoji: 🧍🏽#tessellate#tessellate: alex#tessellate: kai#tw: religious trauma#tw: homophobia#tw: religious themes#tw: religion#ts4#simblr#show us your story#sims community
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Listening to Inquisition banter and thinking about how Solas starts the chess match with Bull as a way to distract him from Adamant, and I'm just. The way he cares about them all 😭
You can track just how his opinion changes through companion interaction? And they like him too - sure they might think he's weird, but he's their weird guy, y'know? But there's none of that in Veilguard, and it makes me sad. It's not just about solavellan. It's about the friends he made, the friends he still thinks about, the friends who might be angry at him and what he's doing but would still be there for him if he needed. Because he deserves not just love, but friendship. Camaraderie. A place where he fits in, a place where he belongs.
I think I need to play inquisition again 😔
#dragon age#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#datv critical#why isnt friendship treated as seriously as romance#because it is!! friend breakups are painful!!#and lets be real the solas romance is also tied to friendship. they're friends first and lovers second#anyway. back to inquisition it is#rolo rambles
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Thank you for your patience☺️ Here we go:
Sun in Sagittarius, Moon in Cancer Personality:
You can hardly find a friendlier, more empathetic and dynamic person. You combine the fiery qualities of Sagittarius: boldness, deep need for knowledge, adventure, of breaking the barriers you or other people have previously set for yourself. You love to roam around and explore both mentally and physically (you might have a love for travelling, visiting new places), but at the same time you always need to have your nest, that safe place you return to every night or when things get tough. You have a deep and complex inner life and an incisive eye when it comes to judging people’s character. You immediately know whom you should or shouldn’t trust, who is being dishonest even if sometimes you don’t want to admit it yourself due to Sagittarius’ tendency to look at the bright side of life and be friendly to those around you, even when they don’t deserve it. You make a wonderful, supportive, empathetic friend who is at times a touch too blunt. You express yourself in a direct, emotional manner and are all about being transparent and authentic. You hate deceit, hipocrisy, dishonesty of any form. Due to your emotional nature, you could get incredibly upset if someone lied or deceived you. This could manifest as an angry outburst followed by retreating to your shell and promising to never talk to that person again. You could also bottle up anger and irritation which in time leads to resentment. However, more times than not, it doesn’t lead to that. You generally try not to dwell on the past to much. If you can’t forgive someone, you’ll at least try thinking of them as little as possible. You enjoy pondering about different possibilities of what life and the future could be like. Though you are usually adaptable and love expending your horizons, your Moon in Cancer may at times make you resistant to change as it can make you feel insecure or emotionally vulnerable.
You are a sociable personality with a broad and philosophical outlook on life. You combine the Archer’s need for novelty, knowledge and freedom with Cancer’s warmth, emotional depth, compassion and intuition.
When it comes to relationships, it takes quite some time to let somebody close to you heart as you fear betrayal and being hurt. You are serious when it comes to romantic relationships and you Moon in Cancer makes you incredibly committed to making the relationship work, sometimes to your detriment. In the right relationship, your compassion, dynamism, creativity flourishes. You love taking care of your loved ones, listening to their problems, both the practical and emotional kind. You can give great advice as you are likely a very emotionally intelligent individual. Though you are idealistic, you also have a strong practical side which means you won’t end up lost with your head in the clouds. You know practical steps should be taken if you want to achieve your lofty ideals.
Some people seem to think Cancer Moons are weak, emotional and can be easily taken advantage of but that’s hardly the case. Their past experiences with people have thought them the importance of resilience, of being though and sticking up for themselves when needed. You are aware of the ugly, detestable sides of human nature which in consequence makes you wary especially when forming new connections. You could be tough nut to crack in the beginning. People might get the wrong impression about you at times. Depending on how much pain you’ve experienced in the past the shell you’ve build around yourself could be quite thick. Also, you tend to give more than you get in relationships, which means you’ll be really appreciative when someone finally reciprocates.
This combination could make you quite conscientious in your studies, if at times restless. You give the impression of a very knowledgeable person who knows what he/she is doing. You love gathering knowledge and perhaps you also have an interest in history or learning about your ancestry. With time you could become a very wise and knowledgeable person.
You are more principled than materialistic, more optimistic than pessimistic, more focused on the present and future than the past.
At times you could become quite restless or insecure perhaps even indecisive about what you are doing or where you life is going. Self-reflection, journaling or talking to a loved one could help in this regard. Or perhaps moving your body and practicing a sport like jogging, swimming or going to the gym could help clear up your mind and see the situation more clearly. There could be a struggle between your Sun’s need for independence and novelty and You Moon’s need for emotional security and stability. So be careful in this regard. Find a solution that works best for you. With your Moon in Cancer having a family could be essential to your wellbeing. So don’t let your Sagittarius Sun tell you you don’t actually need it, that it’ll restrict your freedom or that you are not really that interested in X person. It’s just the fear speaking inside of you. You need loved ones you can come home to. Don’t deny your needs. They are part of you.
Or perhaps the opposite is true and you are in a relationship and starting to feel smothered. Well, in that case how about taking a short trip maybe or enrolling in a workshop you are interested in or perhaps going on a bike ride? There are plenty of ways in which your need for novelty, action and freedom can be satisfied. Make choices that will best serve you in the long run as well.
To sum it all up, as and individual with Sun in Sagittarius and Moon in Cancer you are a mix of many desirable qualities: warmth, compassion, kindness, optimism, open-mindedness, boldness and a deep need to overcome your barriers and expand your knowledge. It is advisable you listen to your intuition when relating to other people and find a satisfactory mean to satisfy your sometimes diverging needs: for freedom and independence and for emotional safety and stability.
#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astrology placements#moon#moon placements#moon in cancer#moon in astrology#sun in sagittarius#sagittarius#sagittarius sun#cancer moon#sun moon#sun in astrology#astro placements
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Thaal Sinestro of Korugar
-cracks knuckles-
Here's ALL of his lore that I cooked up:
(warning for: the sheer ungodly length of this, mentions of death, and a low-key humorous mention of alien physiology at the end cuz I couldn't help myself--)
(Some of this might still be a slight work in progress and/or may be subject to change later on. I'm not sure yet.)
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Backstory:
It wasn’t supposed to end that way. He wanted her to be safe and far away from the threat of action. Unfortunately.. he had made a mistake and it cost him greatly. Both heart and mind.
The loss of his wife.. the loss of his best friend, Abin Sur’s sister.. it caused quite the disruption in their friendship.
Some time well after that horrible event, Sinestro and Abin got into an altercation. An argument while out on duty. Abin had heard of Sinestro’s plans, but he didn’t agree with them. Both men were already still rocky and broken from the loss of Arin. So, when Sinestro was plotting some way of utilizing his GL powers to enforce order and protection.. no matter how unreasonable. Abin Sur lashed out. Calling him crazy, delusional, that nothing will ever bring her back.
Sinestro.. well.. he wasn’t thinking and without any ill intention.. he attacked Abin Sur. He only wanted to try and reason with him. He didn’t mean to do it.. but a stray blast from his ring managed to wreck the ship they were traveling in.. and the blast severely damaged Abin Sur.
..Sinestro fled the ship in horror, not seeing the fate of his friend as the ship hurtled down to a particular blue planet. The thought of having presumably killed his own partner and friend on top of having already dealt with the loss of his wife.. well.
That absolutely destroyed him. Shattered him so deeply.. he’s grown distant. Disconnected and apathetic. Bottling up, locking away, and throwing the key away with his emotions..
This was the beginning of the end of his GL career.. and the lead up to him being picked up by the Yellow Corps. The immense fear and angst building up inside him being strong enough he found a new life with the Yellow Lanterns. However, he couldn’t take the life and went rogue. Taking the ring with him and starting his own little sect.
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imagine. some late series episode that ends with a little close up of some guy who looks a bit like Vincent Price for some reason lowering his newspaper and staring in Guy & Feste's direction as they head back home for the day after having a chat at some outdoor cafe.
you don't know who this weird guy is until it's later revealed that it was Sinestro. He ALSO used his ring to go incognito and appear human so as not to attract any attention while he "stalks" Guy & Feste for some reason idk I didn't think this far.
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it kinda adds weight to the act of killing him. but like.. it probably killed Sinestro, too.. to do it. maybe it was an accident..? unintentional… during a fight.. and Sinestro was hiding it. and although Guy reminds him of Abin Sur… he hates Guy because he reminds him of Abin Sur and what he did to him. like a weird sort of "reincarnation" thing?? if that makes sense??
Guy being so angry at Sinestro for what he did feels almost cathartic for Sinestro cuz he knows he deserves it.
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Sinestro sees occasional visions of his wife and friend begging and pleading for his help that will never come. This fuels his fear to power his ring. he needs fear to wield it. and that is a big fear. the repetitive action of losing his wife and friend and not being able to do anything about it.
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Miscellaneous:
Soranik Natu was given the Natu surname as she was raised by another family. whether on Ungara or Korugar is undecided, but she does keep it.
Sinestro was unable to continue raising her as he was in no condition to do so, and Arin was.. well. out of the picture.
Sinestro sees Soranik and hears her name and he knows that's his daughter and he feels sick. She looks like her mother, he can see it. There's the underlying fear of what she may think of him and how much she may take after him. He is very aware of the terrible things he has done but he is blinded, in a sense, thinking what he is doing is for the greater good. to protect people..
To protect Soranik.
From a fate that fell upon Arin Sur and many others.
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Soranik is like a combination of the two. her horns are smaller and so are her ears. she has tiny "tusks" (fangs?) compared to her mom.
but she also has elements similar to her dad.
also I can't help but think about Sinestro saying he wishes for his daughter to not become like him, but to instead become more like her mother. honor her memory. it's a terrible loss for the universe for someone like Arin Sur to no longer be in it..
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I 100% want there to be a moment in an episode where Sinestro's backstory is revealed. like… his life he had up to when Guy first met him. We get to see just how tragic his backstory is.
There's been some subtle little hints here and there before, like someone from on Oa hearing Guy make a remark about Sinestro's weird earring and they tell him what they know.. how it's actually something very meaningful, a combination of two races and their culture. how it is a show of respect and mourning..
the mourning rituals of both Ungarans and Korugarians came together when Sinestro lost Arin. The piercings worn by those who lost a partner from Korugar.. and the wearing of a specific flora from Ungara..
Sinestro's mournful earring has a unique flora depicted hanging from it. A custom metal made to resemble that flora from Ungara.. to honor the memory of Arin Sur. He wears it always except when bathing or resting, but he keeps it with him ever so close at all times.
Should he lose that earring at all… well…
we might just see Sinestro become a Red Lantern.
---
I do kinda like the idea that Ungara and Korugar are relatively close planets with their own races inhabiting them. and because of this, the two races are uniquely compatible, genetically speaking, which leads to how Soranik Natu was born at all when Thaal Sinestro got with Abin Sur's sister, Arin Sur. Sinestro & Arin were the first ones to discover this.
Also, Ungarans are taller than Korugarians. Soranik stands a little taller than Sinestro.
Sinestro is 5'5" (average)
Soranik is 5'9"
Arin & Abin Sur: 6'6" 6'8" (average)
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(Warning for alien physiology talk & humor)
what if Sinestro has never seen a human before and the first time he sees Guy shirtless in the Oa locker room he notices Guy only has 2 n1ps and Sinestro is like:
"Only 2? However will you feed all your young? Surely they should starve with such a lack of bodily provisions."
And Guy stands there extremely confused. Asks him what in the ever-loving heck he's talking about. Sinestro responds by merely removing his own clothes and presents his 8 n1ps.
Guy is understandably disturbed by the implications now registering in his mind.
If Guy ever mentions pregnancy, Sinestro responds "The women carry the young and the men provide for the young. ..What does your kind do? Don't tell me the women do all the work and that you're utterly useless? You humans are quite the odd creature."
Guy is very much offended.
#my art#phone art#thaal sinestro#sinestro#green lantern#yellow lantern#sinestro corps#abin sur#arin sur#soranik natu#guy gardner#//long post#may as well tag them all in here#ask to tag#suggestive??#cw blood#tw blood#tw death mention#CAN YOU GUYS TELL HOW MUCH MY BRAIN LATCHED ONTO THIS? I hope posting this helps to remove him from my brain space.
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I know sabo yapping about luffy is played for comedy but also imagine the fucking heartache Dragon could be experiencing
You have this kid who isn’t yours but by god you want him to be yours, while simultaneously feeling guilty for wanting him to be your kid because you already have a kid, you who left behind for his own safety
And now your semi adopted kid is just talking and talking and talking about your actual kid who you left behind and you don’t even get to see much less interact with
Part of me also thinks that Sabo talks about luffy so much because he’s angry with Dragon about the whole situation but doesn’t know how to confront him about it. So he just gives these snide comments to express his displeasure at Dragons choices
I have considered that…
I can only imagine what Dragon must have been feeling when Sabo practically imprinted on him like a little duckling… plenty of guilt, definitely, but I imagine that guilt turned into self-loathing when Marineford happened, and Sabo got his memories back.
Sabo’s a sharp kid. He can put two and two together with the best of them. He knows deep down that this man never wanted to abandon his child, but it doesn’t change how angry it makes him feel about the whole thing and… Dragon is in the direct line of fire. He is, at least in part, responsible.
The first time it happens, he says it without thinking. Bitter and venomous and almost too quiet to hear. But Dragon does hear it. He hears it and lets the metaphorical knife in the gut be twisted.
Because he believes- with all his heart and soul- that he deserves it.
And Sabo- realizing what he’s said, and that he’s not entirely remorseful of it- bolts like he’s expecting to be yelled at or worse. He can’t help it. He can’t help the soul-deep fear that Outlook beat into him, nor the anger whenever he thinks of all the times that Luffy cried because he was alone.
Dragon doesn’t follow. He doesn’t object. He doesn’t defend himself. He just… sits.
He sits and remembers the chill of the rain biting down to his bones, and the warm little white-gold candle flame of his son’s presence fading to nothing with the growing distance…
He sits and remembers feeling sick with guilt for the little blond boy with the chipped tooth that followed him around with a sunny smile, totally unaware that a day might come where it all felt like nothing but a lie from a broken man.
Melancholy doesn’t even begin to describe Dragon’s mood from then on.
#gonna put this under ‘posts that make me cry’#one piece#monkey d dragon#sabo#cw child abuse#cw neglect#cw abandonment#taurus answers
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he didn’t look angry at all. He looked at the other curly with a look of sympathy like how you look at a dog who was kicked.
“…and you truely believe that it’s your fault? You want to support your friend and set him on a path so he could live happily, What a horrible thing to do… You… We did nothing to deserve the poison In his soul. He spat in our face and we still supported him. He would yell, degrade, and rip into us until he finally believed it. We always take his yoke to bare.”
I wouldve reacted the same way. I would be in tears trying to deny that my “friend” hates me. I would be for them to stop lying to me. Hoping it was a cruel joke.
”it’s not fair. It’s not fair for me or you to need to bare the yoke of his burdens. You both are adults, he chose to come on this ship with you. You didn’t force him”
he wanted to sit the other curly down and tell him everything but he knew he had to be gentle or the other curly might shut down completely.
“Tell me, Who keeps telling you that it’s all your fault and you’re the one to blame if something goes wrong?”
“hello there!” he held two cups of coffee ready.
-@captain-44-curly
Oh? Hello, other me. How are things going for you?
[He gave the other a polite, weary smile.]
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sometimes it’s hard to be a ray of sunshine
#Constantly smiling to make up for the bad mood of those around you is kind of draining#Sometimes it feel unfair that I try so hard to be perky becuase the world is such a beautiful place and other people just want to sit there#and shit all over it#look outside! The sun! The clouds! Bird song! Rain! Laughter! The world is full of tiny beautiful things#everywhere all the time!#If you want to be miserable fine but I wold really appreciate it if you didn’t treat me badly for not being miserable#I’m sorry I’m ”annoying loud and r*tarded* becuase I think life is worth living if only to see another golden hour#im sorry you wish I would shut up#but maybe being nice isn’t cringey#I’m going to keep telling people that their comment is interesting#even if they’ve repeated the same tidbit five times and it’s annoying#becuase You know what? It’s so important to them they’ve tried five times to make sure it’s heard!#Everyone deserves kindess#and angry as you might be you deserve it to#actuallyautistic#therapist friend#Okay vent over im good now
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Elrond with dramborleg
"His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars."
This drawing was for @armenelols and @polutrope post about elrond using a family heirloom "dramborleg".
Oh boy I had so much fun.
My main thought while painting this was " what would be different about elrond?"
And the answer is alot but a the same time nothing.
Elrond is in a way a sad character he kind of lost everything and the only constance in his life is the heralded past of his ancestors/family and friends.
He almost can't remember his parents but he can read about them even maglor is ,despite being a kindslayer, described as strong imposing and a mighty warrior.
His own brother,who chooses mortality,is a revered king!
This elrond that I depicted here is not the lord of Riverdale. Not married yet.
This is a elrond who will stand between evil and his folk.
Just like his ancestors did.
He is holding a legacy of strong unrelenting men who did change the tides of war who done the impossible no one else did before them!.
This is also elrond who found out that his brothers legacy Numenor is at the bottom of the sea - because of sauron.
This is a elrond who becomes a lord for many different kind of elves because he is a different kind of elve.
#silmarillion#lotr#tolkien#traditional art#elrond#dramborleg#i found out that elrond doesn't have a heraldy and I've run with it#that is very odd because he has so many heroes in his family who have their own symbols?#blue red and green are all colors that a already associated with existing fractions#purple is also the color of royalties#and associated with night twilight and witchy things#it is also a color mixed with red and blue so do what you want with that information#i also think that black hair is the best hair for elrond and i headcanon that he can do luthiens hair trick with hiding in the shadows too.#creeping the shit out of maglor#elrond will become a kind elven lord eventually but for now he is more of a really angry warrior with a battle axe#well deserved might i add#on a personal note#i couldn't draw properly for what felt like weeks#i had 3 different inflammated joints one in my thumb then my elbow and my shoulder#it was ridiculous#im a chef so guess how fun work was#so drawing was impossible#and im still not completely healed#btw please tell me my photo making skills are getting better!
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spoilers for chapter 429
idk if you guys remember but ochako does have parallels with All Might, specifically as the side who saves. It’s not that he feels the same for them both or something like that, they serve to represent the type of heroism he naturally goes to; his friend is not his love interest, from his perspective she’s out there having a crisis over not being able to save her, and Izuku reminds her that she is a hero bc she is his hero -she saved him multiple times, and she should be able to feel like a proper hero.
This conversation is not about the nature of their relationship, is about heroism; Izuku relates to a conflict between being a hero who saves and failing to save someone, and doesn’t want to see Ochako ending spiraling because she couldn’t also fulfill that role as expected. She’s his hero not because he loves her romantically -he’s a nerd I’m sure he would be way more nervous and blushing if he was confessing anything he thought was romantic- but because she’s able to go and do what All Might does to Izuku, save him physically and emotionally.
He knows she hides her feelings in order to not be a burden, yet he doesn’t talk about his own feelings outside of his guilt in heroics -what does he feel about losing OFA? About his own failures? About the people he personally lost? He can’t talk for others and claim Ochako is everyone’s hero, but he can speak for himself, and that’s his personal perspective -she is a hero to him, she’s his hero. And then the class appears to make sure she’s able to get support and understand she’s not alone, and she’s important to them too.
but Izuku doesn’t get support. Izuku cries a little and talks a little about himself, but he doesn’t get supported. If this was meant to be romantic, I don’t understand why he would hold back what’s inside of him.
the end of the chapter reveals that boy is going to be helped by that woman who regretfully ignored Tenko, and they both witness it and are happy about it while hearing izuku inspired that change, and iida wonders what’s up with them -this is the conclusion to their relationship. In their hearts these two are saviors who struggle to be heroes who save others, and they are happy there are appearing more people who want to be heroes like them. Heroes who save. Save like All Might.
That grandma for example, interpreting the narrative as what I think is intended, would be that boy’s All Might; she’s his hero.
Izuku and Ochako are heroes who save, and Deku is here to remind her at least she did save him many times, that she is still a hero because she is his hero. I don’t believe is meant to be interpreted as romantic, not that Izuku sees that phrase as it neither -after all, he said he does want to be like All Might and feels good to imitate him, but he doesn’t love him.
Ochako’s All Might hair moment, the parallels with Toshinori telling him he can be a hero, the trying to save from black suffocating quirks, the we can do it and do your best…
Do I need to remind you heroes arent a romantic thing for Izuku Midoriya?
#grrr talking#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#I’m not saying I’m happy with the chapter#I have my criticisms#But I don’t want to keep seeing ppl say this is romantic and “izu///ocha canon we won bkdk dead”#First of all no it’s not even if it was canon we would still ship them and make content about them#Second of all this chapter was about ochako getting comfort not a boyfriend#Are we really sitting there believing they are together when ochako doesn’t struggle nor think about her crush at all#And her character goes way beyond liking him or not#And izuku hero nerd midoriya calls her his hero bc he sees all might savior qualities in her???#Bitch where’s the romance#And you know what? I don’t get it now#Bc ppl were all like “yeah it’s platonic” when izuku said he admired all might but katsuki was just right there closer to him#But now they see the whole “you are my hero” as a romantic confession? Fuck off#Personally I always felt kinda strange about that scene in bk vs dk 2#It focuses on the closeness and and it’s strange bc izuku doesn’t strive to be like him at all#He doesn’t want to be the victorious hero side nor want to be a angry and disrespectful when he gets angry#He just is#So. Yeah#ochako is part of the saving chain and she saved him multiple times since the beginning#This is his experience with her and she deserves to be acknowledged as the hero she is#Even if nobody else sees her as that including herself he sees it#She deserves to hear it#When she saved him during black whip with shinso’s help everyone else saw a romantic moment#Mina teased her about it and made things weird for them always trying to look into it as a romantic gesture#And it wasn’t. That was ochako being the hero she is and Izuku confirms that to her#She is a hero not a love interest
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Also, in response to the "testosterone making people angrier" myth, I've found that, personally, testosterone has given me the self-respect to recognize and call out when my boundaries are being overstepped in ways that I wouldn't have had the courage (or, frankly even liking of myself) to have done before. This is in addition to me working on my trauma responses, but testosterone was the spark that gave me the will to do this in the first place. When I see people sae that as anger and thus is a "bad thing," I wonder how much of that is just people being uncomfortable with us... having boundaries or enforcing them, and that the response to that overstepping is labeled as aggressive anger.
Frankly, I now actually respect myself enough to care when I am being mistreated. It seems that people sometimes take that as a personal failure on my end because I don't think I deserve mistreatment.
Caveat: Anger is a fine emotion, and it is a worthy thing to recognize and honour. I find that the accusation of trans men* and trans masc* people "being angry" on testosterone is a moot point simply because it is often a false accusation which uses anger as a punishment. My issue isn't that we're "angry," but that our perceived anger is used, often, as a transphobic bludgeon to punish those who either want to transition with testosterone or who currently are, and everything in-between.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#unpopular opinion i guess but: trans man* and transmasc* anger is a fine thing and more people ought to express it without fear#basically i want to start a punk band with some other trans guys/trans guys+ who are Angry and Will Express It#like not going to lie but i had no boundaries before because i HATED myself...#...so it's pretty weird when people almost... miss that they could have taken advantage of me had i not realized my worth#like why does my Testosterone Anger say something bad about me when you MISS that you could have taken advantage of my self-hatred. like. hm#anyway. i let myself be angry now because i have realized that i deserve to express my full range of emotions#i notice that many trans people start asserting themselves way more when they transition gow they want/need to...#...and i think part of it is that many of us start to get out of the rut of feeling Horrible 24/7/365...#...so when people express they 'miss the old [you]' to me that's a red flag...#...because... do you miss that person pre-transition or do you miss their abject misery and passivity?#this might be a generalization because of tumblr's tag character limit#but i have noticed this with a few trans people when they are openly/currently transitioning#this isn't me saying that this is universal but just... something i have Taken Notice Of#and it seems weird to me that this hasn't only just happened to me because. it just feels...... gross
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important aspect of shadowgast To Me is that caleb thinks it's cute when essek's being a bitch and visa versa
#oh to have someone who listens to you bitch and reminds you it's not the end of the world#also oh to have someone who sits vigil with you when you grieve and/or get angry at your lot in life no matter how deserved it might be#also important for them. To Me#essek gets into a really tetchy terrible mood bc he bitterly misses the comforts of being rich and not having to run for his life and#caleb silently hands him a basket of green beans to snap and essek realizes halfway through said basket that he's doing it#yknow what i mean.#i think for them. when im writing or reading or thinkin about em. the biggest importantest theme is that#1. they are terrible people who are trying very hard to learn how to be good 2. they are equally matched in their terribleness and very#unimpressed with one another. unstoppable force and immovable object. north star.#where is that fic. it's called out of season. it's so good its my thesis for them
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You know what else upsets me? I’m in season 6 of SG-1 so I just watched the episode where Daniel ascended. And I understand that his being written out had a reason and also the way they did it I don’t feel like it was undermined when he does eventually return so like yes I miss him but not angry about it(also it helps that I really like Jonas but anyway not the point I’m making right now). But while they think he’s dying, each of the team members gets a moment with him to say how much they love him and how much he means to them. And then even though he hasn’t actually died, we see them mourn him even going into season 6. And I understand the situations were different but I feel like Carson really didn’t get the memorialization he deserved. Like sure we get to see Elizabeth say some nice words at his memorial and then there’s the end moment with Rodney but then it’s just kind of…over. And don’t even get me started on how angry clone Carson makes me. Like ‘oh here’s your beloved doctor back sort of but not really.’ I am honestly so heated over this.
#stargate#stargate atlantis#carson beckett#sga#I know there’s that other moment where Rodney’s cleaning out his room too#but there really wasn’t much more unless I blacked it out while I was crying 😅#but I still think they didn’t give him the death he deserved even in the slightest#and then there’s the fact that the team was saying all these things TO Daniel#where they’re saying them ABOUT Carson#you know what I mean?#not a writer but tbh I might need to write fic about this#one day I’ll stop posting about how angry I am about Carson’s death#but it won’t be anytime soon sorry not sorry
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