#and and also totally valid- she is kind of really hot. I want to make gifs again bc she's so pretty š„ŗ
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Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
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Look, I know one shouldn't be so harsh on how badly it was handled that Marinette never has to face any push back from Adrichat for her own massive flaws, and instead she's just validated and all her wrongdoings get swept under the rug
But I still think it's WILD that Marinette in Pretention was made to at least somewhat acknowledge in front of Adrien that her stalking was bad, and yet she straight up justified it by saying "I did it out of love" (which only make her sound MORE like an ex-stalker???) while full blown pouting that she has to even accept that "much" accountability in the first place:
Like, girl, come on. What even IS that? xD
It is almost hilarious how pissed Marinette was written to be about giving such minimal lip service to the character growth the show pretends she had somewhere OFF-SCREEN. She is literally acting like a person who wasn't actually held accountable but was forced into begrudgingly accepting that maybe what they did wasn't as perfectly justified as they thought and now is giving a puddle deep apology they don't truly mean.
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Marinette only ever apologizes these days when she also has a justification, which makes her apologies sound just like a Youtube Apology Video(ā¢): āIām sorry if I offended the viewers, but I was totally justified (and therefore would do it again).ā She only apologizes to placate the audience. And that scene isnāt even an apology, itās her giving excuses because Kagami dared to call her out on acting no different from the Adrien fans Marinette herself was criticizing. The showrunners are trying so hard to counter common criticisms of the show to the audience and it shows.
Itās also really obvious that the writers think that āI did it for loveā is a suitable excuse. This has always been the distinction between Marinette and the hordes of Adrien groupies the city of Paris is crawling with: Marinette loves him genuinely. All those other people just gush about Adrien and follow him whenever they spot him around town because heās a hot model while Marinette gushes about him and follows him around because heās a hot model who was nice to her that one time. Clearly that makes Marinetteās love more pure. Besides, Marinette has already claimed Adrien by the Right of Protagonist, so she has the right to know what heās doing every moment of every single day while those other people are creepy stalkers.
I also find it hilarious that they make her talk like a recovered ex-stalker when, once again, the writers are claiming something thatās never been shown. There is no evidence Marinette has ārecoveredā from her stalking habit, because the reason she stopped stalking Adrien isnāt that she had some kind of realization that what she was doing was too far or uncalled for, it is that she stopped having a reason to stalk him. First she isnāt stalking Adrien because sheās convincing herself sheās no longer in love with him. Her not being in love means thereās no reason to stalk Adrien. After that Adrien starts dating her, meaning she already has what she wants: Adrien to herself, so thereās no need to stalk him to make sure no other girl sinks her claws into him. She might not really know Adrien at all, but she at least knows enough to know heās loyal.
And, like, even after they started dating, Marinette has gone behind Adrienās back to the Agreste Mansion because heās ākeeping things from herā or because she has to question Nathalie about his whereabouts. This girl is so obsessed with knowing every detail about what Adrien is doing, getting what she wanted only mitigates it. Which is why sheās back to spying on him with binoculars in the sneak peek for the upcoming season 6.
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Me and @mistylicious saw other posts doing this so now weāre going to try our hands at assigning Chappell songs to yj characters! We decided to do English class rules that as long as you can argue your point, itās valid. So we also included the reasoning behind our picks.
Shauna-Good Luck, Babe!
Pretty obvious, closeted lesbian who is ānothing more than his wifeā thinking back to a time when she was with the woman she loved.
Tai-Red Wine Supernova
Song about how both exciting and intense lesbian relationships can be. My girl is choked up, face down, and burnt out when it comes to both Van and Simone.
Misty-HOT TO GO!
āA song about always being there, always waiting. It's screaming "i'm here! look at me! touch me! anything!!!" which is just so painfully her. It also helps that itās very peppy and upbeat and something she'd be singing in her bedroom.ā- Mistylicious
Nat-Guilty Pleasure
āGuilty Pleasure. Something that's bad but you want it anyway. It's so explanatory of all her relationships and the way it ends up for her.ā -Mistylicious
Plus the cigarette imagery too!
Lottie-Kaleidoscope
Very soft and emotional which I think is fitting for Lottieās sad ass doe eyes. Itās also about the fluidity and flexibility of love that I think Lottie would really vibe with in her chill, new agey way.
Van-Subway
Technically this song hasnāt come out yet but hereās a video. āCounting down the days until youāre just another girl on the subwayā is very post-breakup taivan to me.
Jackie-Femininomenon
According to Chappell this is āa song about how men canāt make me comeā and I think thatās very Jackiecore. Plus total Queen Bee vibes.
Travis-Coffee
His and Natās relationship is very all or nothing. Theyāre on and off. If theyāre not in toxic codependency then theyāre not talking.
Ben-Casual
āBoyfriend problems. He's not out, and it tore them apart. He's the one making it "casual". Their relationship is always undefined, and he stews in his own regret, going over it all in his head.ā -Mistylicious
Mari-My Kink is Karma
Ultimate hater song. Nothing more to be said.
Akilah-California
āGET HER OUT OF THERE OH MY GOD :( the only reason she's not dead is because she's able to assimilate and model that killer instinct, but at her core she is soft and kind and should not be where she is.ā -Mistylicious
#yellowjackets#taissa turner#shauna shipman#jackie taylor#natalie scatorccio#misty quigley#lottie matthews#van palmer#travis martinez#ben scott#mari yellowjackets#akilah yellowjackets#chappell roan#the rise and fall of a midwest princess
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My gf wants to be punished by me. She really perks up when I give her an admonishing look, or talk sternly to her. She seems to find my authority and discipline hot.
I do enjoy the idea of punishing her, but more as a sadist. Like, I want to make her suffer ā but not because she did anything wrong, but simply because I can. To me, it shows her submission and the power she eagerly gives me, and I find that incredibly hot.
The problem is, I donāt really feel comfortable punishing her for specific transgressions. I think itās because I donāt feel comfortable with giving her rules. Sheās an incredibly capable person who doesnāt need rules enforced in order to function well; sheās up at dawn, punctual, studious, etc. Whereas, Iām actually the one who struggles with things like being on time, being clean, eating regularlyā¦ So punishing her for minor transgressions like being late, or sleeping in, or whatever, feels incredibly hypocritical! (Also, it would be so rare. And usually she has good reasons, too, bc she doesnāt fuck up by accident.) I just donāt see how I could ever have the right to expect her to endure a punishment, when she is so good and I am not.
I am also extremely cautious about introducing punishment for more serious things like if she actually āfailedā me or hurt me in some way. (Eg. Say she forgot our anniversary, or started an argument and felt bad about that, or was rude / disrespectful to me.) These are more serious issues than a broken arbitrary rule (eg. āAddress me by a titleā or āKneel when you enter the roomā etc.). In that case, itās a complex issue; Iād want to press pause, discuss and understand ā not jump into kinky sex / punishment stuff. Not to mention, these issues are shared issues; itās rare that itās one personās fault, so it feels weird to me to punish only one person. (And I donāt want punishment for myself; it would probably feel really triggering.)
Plus, she already feels horrible! She is incredibly perfectionistic, and especially in major transgressions, her internal narrative is more like, āI fucked up and failed you.ā It feels needless to dwell on it ā I want her to be able to make mistakes and know that sheās safe; that āIām sorryā is enough; to not beat herself up about it. I worry that punishing would draw extra attention to the issue, and make her feel even worse / like it really IS all her fault.
Finally, I guess there is a distinction between punishment and āpunishment,ā and a lot of this consideration goes out the window if sheās only after the fun, hot kind. Thatās worth discussing with her. But even in the fun āpunishmentā scene, I donāt really know what to punish her for, because we donāt have rules and sheās so good that she doesnāt really need them. I donāt even know what rules she would have, or how to come up with them! (The internet only recommends punishments, but Iāve found relatively little about how to make rules, both serious and fun ones, or the logic behind what is healthy or not.) Btw weāre not in a 24/7 dynamic or anything, we just do bedroom stuff.
Sorry for the long ask; I tried to edit it down but I have so many questions and need help. Thank you!
Hello :)
It sounds like you're pretty solid in your understanding of what you are and aren't comfortable with. It doesn't sound like punishing her for 'serious' infractions, big or small, is something you're open to. And that's totally valid. It sounds like you aren't certain if she's specifically after the serious type or the sexy kind. If she was after the serious kind, she may not like your boundaries, but it sounds like you know what yours are. If you haven't already, I'd explain this all to her similar to how you explained it to me, so that she has a full understanding of where you are coming from. And then whether or not she had initially intended for them to be 'serious' or not, I think these types of interests always link back to our sexuality in some way or another, even if it's kind of indirect. So, I'd wonder if you could find ways within "play" or "scenes" that could let her get to see you be pseudo-stern with her, and that could let you engage your sadistic side. To avoid risking her actually feeling guilty, maybe the 'rules' or 'infractions' would have to be things that are outside of her normal behavior. For example, if you use Sir during scenes and would worry that creating a rule of 'you must always end statements to me with yes sir or no sir during scenes' might make her actually feel guilty if she forgets - then maybe make up rules that are just things that could not possibly be accidental or guilt related, and would just exist as an invitation to play. As a doofy example, you make a ruler that is "No calling me Mr/Ms/Mrs. Babboon" which she has never called you and never (normally) would, so then if she does call you that, it's a really clear invitation to "punish" her. Of course, this is just if this type of play would be within both of your boundaries, but it kinda sounded to me like it probably would be. Perhaps you guys can brainstorm other ways to play with the kinks you have while avoiding those boundaries you have and also avoiding her guilt/perfectionism triggers.
Good luck to you guys. :)
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prince's gambit highlights & annotations
chapter 1
indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!
also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!
i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.
this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.
Across the courtyard, a couple of alaunt hounds came bounding down the stone stairs to throw themselves ecstatically at Laurent, who indulged one of them with a rub behind the ears, causing a spasm of jealousy in the other.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
the first thing laurent does in this book is pet a dog. i love him so much.
craft-wise, this foreshadows the shift in damenās perception of laurent that occurs throughout book 2. his/our first impression of laurent in book 1 is him cruelly demeaning damen, almost like a dog, which is something weāre meant to hate. our first impression here is him affectionately indulging actual dogs who clearly know and love him. this might make the reader ask: why do these animals love laurent, when we understand him to be cruel? is our understanding incorrect, and/or incomplete?
context: in arles, the regent closely observes laurentās attachments. he can and will destroy anything or anyone laurent cares about. but here, outside of arles, it makes sense that laurent would immediately feel more comfortable being affectionate.
laurentās hot girl summer has officially begun āØ
Damen craned for a glimpse but, not being an owl, saw almost nothing.
The physician rummaged in the satchel and produced one of his endless ointments.
doesnāt this become a running gag? ointment reference #1
That was really too much. āItās cosmetic?ā
does damen take pride in his scars, and other physical indications of his experiences? that could be an interesting parallel to the cuffs throughout the series. or maybe he just knows heās hot either way. or doesnāt want to be fussed over.
he is technically still laurentās propertyāhas laurent given any kind of indication that he finds the scars unattractive? or did paschal simply make that assumption, which laurent then went along with, knowing it would annoy damen?
The physician said, āI was told you would be difficult. Very well. The better it heals, the less your back will trouble you with stiffness, both now and later in life, so that you will be better able to swing a sword around, killing a great many people. I was told you would be responsive to that argument.ā āThe Prince,ā said Damen.
paschal, sighing deeply as he commits laurentās exact words to memory: iām about to become the first homophobe in vere because these petty gay bitches canāt keep their nonsense to themselves
actually, new thing to countāevery time a minor or secondary character has a valid reason to complain about damen and laurentās lack of professionalism in the workplace. this is lamen hr complaint #1 (paschal).
But of course. All this tender care of his back, like soothing with a kiss the reddened cheek you have slapped.
great line.
connects to an ongoing theme: niceness vs. goodness. damen āsees throughā laurentās niceness, as it conflicts with laurentās meanness that he personally has experienced. in the same way damen has a favorable bias towards kastor and the regent, he has an automatically unfavorable bias against laurent. which is totally fair, given the events of book 1! but this is a new book, and a new stage in damenās overall series arc.
additional theme for books 2&3: tenderness. a wound is tender; it aches in need of soothing. but what soothes an ache? tender care. if nice is good and mean is bad, where does a concept like tenderness fit in? how exactly will we go from āall this tender care of his back, like soothing with a kiss the reddened cheek you have slappedā to āi think if i gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderlyā?
Damen snorted. āIt wasnāt that bad.ā
a consistent damen behavior: the refusal to admit that he is helplessness, and/or experiencing circumstances beyond his control. i would call it toxic masculinity, but i donāt think itās meant as gender commentaryāit has more to do with being a prince and a king, worthy of the throne. toxic royalty, if you will.
āIf you served the King,ā said Damen, āhow is it you now find yourself in the Princeās household, and not his uncleās?ā āMen find themselves in the places they put themselves,ā Paschal said, closing his satchel with a snap.
laurent of vere: the peopleās prince āØ
also, interesting juxtaposition with previous dialogue about damen and paschal both being at marlas, on different sides of the battle. can we truly say that damen, at age 19, had put himself there? what does that suggest about his character and his kingdom?
āYes, of course,ā said Damen. Then stopped. Jord didnāt notice.
he needs acting classes from laurent
Damen said, āIf youāre not going to tip your head back, why donāt we go find Paschal? He can give you a scented ointment.ā
HA. ointment reference #2.
Damen thought of the ivory and gold casing that held a creature duplicitous, self-serving and untrustworthy. āYouāre so loyal to him. Why is that?ā
really nailing in the damen perspective subversion setup. also, the irony re: aimeric's loyalty!
Damen joined the work, where he was the only man to smell, expensively, of ointments and cinnamon.
ointment reference #3. heās expensive.
āAimericās young. He says it wonāt happen again,ā said Jord. It will happen again, and once the two factions in this camp start retaliating against one another your campaign is over, he didnāt say.
i love how we finally get to see damen in his element here, after experiencing The Horrors for 13 + prologue entire chapters in book 1
āThe Captain is in one of the horse stalls, up to his waist in the stableboy,ā said Jord. āThe Prince has been waiting for him at the barracks. ActuallyĀ .Ā .Ā . I was told to have you fetch him.ā āFrom the stables,ā said Damen. He stared at Jord in disbelief.
laurent wastes no time before assigning damen unpleasant tasks. does this count as an hr complaint? i mean it would be damen doing the complaining, am i counting charges they have against each other? no. theyād wreck the curve.
Inside, Govart was unambiguously fucking the stableboy against the far wall.
āunambiguouslyā
āThe Prince stays here often?ā The castellan mistook him to mean the keep, not the rooms. āNot often. He and his uncle came here a great deal together, in the year or two after Marlas. As he grew older, the Prince lost his taste for the runs here. He now comes only rarely to Chastillon.ā
context: >:(
Laurent said, āI have saved you till last.ā Damen said, āYou owe the stableboy a copper sol.ā āThe stableboy should learn to demand payment before he bends over.ā
āhoney, iām home!ā sitcom entrance
āYour virtueās safe. Itās just water. Probably.ā
somebodyās feeling playfulllll
Laurent placed the goblet carefully back on the table, and picked up the knife. It was a sharp knife, made for cutting meat. Damen felt his pulse quicken as Laurent came forward. Only a handful of nights ago, he had watched Laurent slit a manās throat, spilling blood as red as the silk that covered this roomās bed. He felt shock as Laurentās fingers touched his, pressing the hilt of the knife into his hand. Laurent took hold of Damenās wrist below the gold cuff, firmed his grip, and drew the knife forward so that it was angled towards his own stomach. The tip of the blade pressed slightly into the dark blue of his princeās garment. āYou heard me tell Orlant to leave,ā said Laurent. Damen felt Laurentās grip slide down his wrist to his fingers, and tighten. Laurent said, āI am not going to waste time on posturing and threats. Why donāt we clear up any uncertainty about your intentions?ā
laurent explaining to damen that his behavior in arles was a bit in the most insane way possible
He was so infuriatingly sure of himself, proving a point. Damen felt desire come hard upon him: not wholly a desire for violence, but a desire to drive the knife into Laurentās composure, to force him to show something other than cool indifference.
theyāre so normal and well-adjusted
He said: āIām sure there are house servants still awake. How do I know you wonāt scream?ā āDo I seem like the type to scream?ā āIām not going to use the knife,ā said Damen, ābut if youāre willing to put it in my hand, you underestimate how much I want to.ā āNo,ā said Laurent. āI know exactly what it is to want to kill a man, and to wait.ā
āyes, andā āyes, andā āyes, andā
Laurent said, āWhen this campaign is over, I thinkāif you are a man and not a wormāyou will attempt to gain retribution for what has happened to you. I expect it. On that day, we roll the dice and see how they fall. Until then, you serve me. Let me therefore make one thing above all clear to you: I expect your obedience. You are under my command. If you object to what you are told to do I will hear reasoned arguments in private, but if you disobey an order once it is made, I will send you back to the flogging post.ā
this is their starting place for the book! āwe hate each other, we owe each other nothing, we know that we are going to eventually attempt to kill each otherābut for now, we are calling a truce and working togetherā
also. would laurent still love damen if he was a worm š„ŗ
Another pause, and then Laurent indicated once again to the chair. This time Damen followed his prompt and sat. Laurent took the chair opposite. Between them, unfurled on the table, was all the intricate detail of the map. āYou said you knew the territory,ā Laurent said.
this is part of why i love damen and laurent so much as a pairing. they have interests and skills in common, and they make a genuinely good team. theyāre intellectually compatible, in addition to sexually and romantically compatible.
#you can tell i'm more relaxed with these because there aren't like atrocities happening every other page#capri#sam reads capri#captive prince#prince's gambit#laurent of vere#damen of akielos#lamen
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This game has everything i want from an if game bruh i can't
Unhinged violence? Check
Cool as fuck and godlike powers? Check
Potential to make batman at home MC? Check
Actually fun poly route? Check
Also not only i love ash and rin these gals fit well with (at least my) MC. Hot Ash as right hand and cold (cool?) Rin as left hand *chef kiss*
Also also those secret interactions (is that what they are called idk) with names etc are really cool. I laughed when i chose Vergil as my codename because Ash was dante and she was like "oooh fitting like dante's inferno" and i was like "nah bitch it's from Devil May Cry idk what dante's inferno is"
Hehe, I only aim to please with the unhinged violence and godlike power, of course š
MC, especially the Ruthless one, is kind of a reverse of Batman in a sense š¤ Instead of coming from families of wealthy philanthropists, MC comes from a prominent criminal family š
And indeed, Ash and Rin in the poly where MC becomes the next head of the criminal family is such a power throuple š They kinda balance each other out: Ash can be too emotional and hot-headed (true to their pyrokinesis) which can make them more prone to rash actions. Rin, on the other hand, is a more rational person and would love to predict and think about all possible outcomes, comparing each method, before finally settling on one.
As you can expect, too much of one side can be detrimental. Sure, there are specific cases where either Ashās or Rinās preferred method works nicely. But most of the time, a combination of both would be best. Ash and Rin would debate against each other (theyāre used to it ever since they were both kids), but in the end, something better would come out š
And you made me snort out a laugh about choosing Vergil because of Devil May Cry instead of Danteās Inferno š Totally valid.
#asks#ash/rin poly#if: vendetta#if vendetta#vendetta if#if game#if wip#dashingdon#choicescript#hosted games#choice of games
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I crave soft, domestic love with Columbina,, shes so underrated and I think she'd be an amazing s/o,, Im very super absolutely (not) normal about Columbina cuddling up to her s/o on a particularly cold day nooooo (lie)
100% agree with this. Columbina looks gentle but gives extremely unsettling and intimidating vibes to normal people... though with you, she looks gentle and is gentle. She is quite a fun, caring, and relaxed lover. Clingy too of course, perhaps it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say your body and warmth are what motivates her to do some work. No joke, for Bina to sit at her desk and get some work done either you have to be sitting in her lap or she sits in yours. Pierro's given you special privileges to be at certain meetings otherwise she's in another world. And of course, the cold days... actually Bina's favorite kind of days because she has more of a valid excuse to constantly cuddle you. You're cold too, aren't you? So this is a win-win situation! It's okay for her to snuggle under your coat right? It's okay for her to lay her head on your lap and cuddle into you while you have to give orders to the Fatui on her behalf right? Actually,, it's okay for you two to not get out of bed at all, right? :3 Truly living that domestic married couple life! If you don't give her all your attention and affection she will get far too cold... you don't want that for her right? :(
As someone who loves cold days i love this a lot. I feel like you two would totally spend hours cuddling together under the blankets to the point it gets flipped over and messed up too many times, the covers are falling off the bed, it's really just a mess... oh and you definitely love making hot beverages for her! She holds you from behind and watches you make them, and then she cuddles into your shoulder as you two drink together :) In other words, you'll be hard-pressed to separate your wife from you on these cold days. She's also a huge clothes stealer. Steals your sweaters and soft warm clothing, especially on these days. Cold days are kind of like lazy days tbh, aka very comforting days.
#smooches talks#columbina love notes <3#columbina... giggles dreamily#oh i love her#i would love to cosplay as her one day actually#such a cutie
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In honor of Pride, here are some more of my Queer as Folk hot takes:
I hate the Jenny Rebecca custody battle storyline. For one thing, it's tedious as hell. Also, I don't believe Ben would support Michael in that bullshit. Ben is all about balance and everything in moderation. There's no way he would be like, "We know these 2 women are good mothers, but because they're no longer a couple, that makes me and Michael more qualified to have custody of JR." Like, no. When Hunter's mother came back, he was all set to send Hunter back to her without a custody battle before learning how she abused Hunter. Him supporting Michael in the fight for Jenny Rebecca makes no sense.
The way the show resolved Ted's self-esteem problems sucked. They literally made him have to have cosmetic surgery to have any confidence. It would've made more sense for Ted to have overall better mental health and realize his self-worth after becoming sober and having therapy. It would've been a much healthier message for society, too.
The show making Drew Boyd gay was stupid. The guy is obviously bisexual. He says he has sex with a million women as well as men. He also says he's attracted to and loves his female fiancee while he's having an affair with Emmett. He's not gay. Making him, as well as Hunter and Lindsay, binary sexualities is bi erasure and is straight up nonsensical.
Michael is often an asshole in season 5, and I hate how judgemental his character becomes. Yes, it's good that Michael doesn't bend over backward to defend Brian as much when Brian would never do the same for him. Especially since Michael often shielded Brian from criticism from others when Brian's choices frequently went against Michael's own values. A moment I especially hate is when Michael and Brian are fighting in the empty Babylon when Brian is trying to convince Michael to drop the custody battle for JR, because it'll fuck over Lindsay (which Brian is totally right about). Michael says that Brian needs to grow up because Brian doesn't want a monogamous relationship, to get married, or to have children. It's fucking bullshit. Brian is not childish for not wanting those things. Brian calls Michael out on being a judgemental, sanctimonious, twat. Michael used to defend Brian for having different desires for his life because Brian's wants are 100% valid. When Michael gets married, moves to the suburbs, and has JR/fosters Hunter, he becomes this dick who thinks that if you don't have the same priorities as him, you're immature. That's a horrible belief and a total change from the accepting person he used to be.
There could have been a much better ending to Ted revenge fucking the guy (Troy) who pity fucked Ted as a Pride "gift" in season 2. Ted's initial plan to tell Troy he's Ted's pity fuck now is awesome, and Ted falling for him is 100% on brand for Ted's character. Troy continuing to be an asshole and them breaking up, despite both genuinely liking each other in the show, makes me a little sad. I have an idea for a much better end for them. Troy immediately boasts to Ted about his hobby of sleeping with "losers" as a joke in the show and that he did it to someone in Ted's building (not realizing it was actually Ted himself). Instead of what the show did, as Troy and Ted spent more time together, Troy could have seen how well Ted treated people. It could've made Troy realize that what he used to do was really shitty. We could've even seen Troy run into one of his pity fucks earlier on his own and apologize, saying that he was horrible, lead the guy on, was sorry, and hoped the guy found someone who saw how great he was. Troy could've expressed to Ted that being with him made Troy want to be a better person (because Ted does that for essentially everyone in his life by being so supportive and kind, especially after getting sober). It would've been amazing for that final night at Babylon to go a different way. Emmett could still come up to ask if Ted had dumped Troy yet, only to realize Ted had fallen for him. Then, instead of what the show did, all of them could've seen Troy apologize to the random guy he wronged who came up to him about Troy ditching him. It would've been great if Troy said after that that he wished he could find the guy he did the same thing to in Ted's building so he could apologize to that guy too, and that Ted had inspired him to take accountability. The gang could see Ted admit that he was Troy's pity fuck there. Troy could sincerely apologize in front of everyone and say he'd understand if Ted never wanted to see him again and/or if all of Ted's friends hated him. The gang could give Ted and Troy their blessing, and Ted and Troy could end up together. After all, Ted's friend group forgave people for MUCH worse behavior (i.e. Blake nearly killing Ted).
What are your Queer as Folk unpopular opinions? Tag me in your post or put them in a reblog if you do this. Here is PART TWO:
#happy pride š#queer as folk#queer as folk us#queer as folk 2000#qaf#qaf us#qaf 2000#qafamily#brian kinney#michael novotny#ted schmidt#ben bruckner#britin
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Cumulus is always the dommy mommy.
Dont get me wrong shes hot as a dom but i dont really care for the mommy part if that makes sense. Let her be a mistress or sir or something!!
interestingly enough, i dont really ever see cumulus as dommy mommy? or rather, i should say she is most often 'mommy' coded but i feel like i dont see that dom aspect? i feel like the fandom assigned dommy mommy has been cirrus historically (we'll talk about that in a lil bit)
but, and you can correct me if im wrong, i think im understanding you here when you say 'mistress' or 'sir', because of the fact when she is more dominant, its paired with the 'mommy' thing. she doesnt typically get written with a hard dom edge. theres always some aspect of softness, is how im taking that.
which is true, ive seen that. and i might derail a bit from your personal point and maybe even the common theme that ive seen so far . . . but i dont know if anyone else feels this way, but cumulus and sunshine, to me, dont feel like ghouls who typically enjoy that hard edge (at least in my personal hc). i would group mist and aurora in that category, with cirrus somewhere in that middle ground.
i totally get wanting to see that from a ghoulette like lus, due to the fact she's not the type of character people would 'assume' would act that way. its very easy to say we should write characters in protest or in opposition to the roles most commonly assigned to them. but i also want to offer the idea that maybe we're just doing the same thing but in reverse. im of the belief that its perfectly okay to write feminine characters with feminine stereotypes, so long as those traits are balanced with other elements of their character.
again, i completely understand wanting to see her in different roles, especially bc people who look like lus are literally all shades of different from each other. AND that the prevailing characterization of lus tends to sway in one pinpointed direction, which isnt good either. AND AND that you could literally have all kinds of ideas about who cumulus is to you, and its technically correct. all we know is how these ghouls act on stage. we dont have actual plot and things to critique like a show or movie would. we're critiquing each other, which many a time ends up as a critique of the greater societal stereotypes and ideas about fat women. which is valid. and i know im rambling and this is more of what i specifically want to talk about in another (even longer lmao) post.
in the end, i agree. it would be nice to separate the dom and the mommy thing from being cemented together, because dom in itself has soooo many flavors and shapes etc. maybe lus doesnt want to be nice. maybe she does want that hardness. i dont know! but youre right, i dont see that of her much.
#i think yall know that im not ranting or critiquing you specifically#we could have these conversations for h o u r s and not get anywhere#theres a lot to unpack just with one character so i may not make sense lmao#like i said i have more specific ideas about cumulus that ill make a separate post about#bc some of my ideas about her are not the common hc either#crow caws#anon
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hiiii lychee :))
as you can see I have too much free time on my hands. but I have a decent amount to say today, so prepare yourself
Iām gonna try and keep this organized and maybe short so 1: do you have any more thoughts on the avatar mako au to share because itās been rolling around in my brain a lot and I want to know what you have to say about it bcs the way your brain works is so. hajdhskapxn/pos
2: mako learning to draw by engraving his parentsā faces in the dirt of an alleyway over and over and over for years even as he starts to forget their faces. mako who wishes he couldāve afforded paper and charcoal at eight to put down something permanent, something accurate. mako getting their family photo from yin and giving her the scarf, redrawing the picture on the nicest paper he can find to give to her as well. artist mako,, save me artist mako,,,
3: more fem mako thoughts but makorrasami love triangle/eventual polycule(?) except theyāre all girls. I just feel like the pining after your team captain who you now do know is gay except itās because sheās dating a rich girl whoās also very hot is just a whole lot more fun than what they had going on in canon because. girls but sports au. sooo in love w that. also I donāt think makorra would get together in b1 like canon did for a couple reasons. for one, the girl trauma in addition to general trauma of being a homeless orphan. touch and gestures of affection from a person she doesnāt know well yet would probably be a no-no, and korra seems like a very touchy person, just in the natural way that her space is yours and your space is hers. also her energy? like obviously mako would come around but korra in b1 is so much more excited about the world than mako and I think that would kind of, like, intimidate her. (<-also reasons makorra couldāve worked later on but not when they happened) but as the series progresses, korra mellows and mako gets used to her. it works.
but then how does masami happen so early? because asami is the moon to korraās sun. sheās calm and a careful thinker and after korraās exuberance breaks down makoās walls a little bit, asami would be able to slip in being everything mako imagines herself wanting. also more than financially stable. so masami becomes a thing, and korra is jealous, but sheās not sure of who which I personally think is so funny
but yeah thatās basically it. I always love how you take my silly little commentary and give actual thoughtful replies, it makes my day š
with love
š
snailon! good to see you here haha i totally didn't die for like two weeks what fjsgjhjkgfhs (i'm so sorry i took so long that you thought you imagined this ask hhh)
okay i actually have not thought about it for a hot minute but get thisā¦ i get like 40 hours a week back because no more percussion! so i have so much time!!! dude i'm going to rewatch lok AGAIN and then brainrot some more. avatar mako's love hate relationship with the entire fucking world is the only thing about it in my head. i'm sorry i don't have a lot to say about this au right now :(( it'll happen,,, one day,,,,
oh! (sobbing!) personally i am a fan of aspiring writer mako but also artist mako is extremely valid and i love the hc's you've built around it :)
girl for girl for girl makorrasami is really the best version of it tbh! love all your thoughts and actually that's a hilarious angle of korra getting the Sapphic Confirmation but it's not a good thing bc the love interest is actually dating a girl who is NOT korra except oh shit this girl is also super hot and attractive. what the fuck is this. korra my favorite girl in the world ever you're allowed to like all the girls in the world if you want and no one has the right to fault you for it.
anyway thank YOU for always sharing your thoughts with me!! i love to hear it and i'm sorry there was such a delay bhjfjgfh i'll get to your other ask soon promise. my commentary is a little bit dead today but i wanted to get this out instead of leaving it rotting in my inbox forever because i promise i have been turning it over in my head for a minute now :P have a good day snailon!
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happy pride month!!!! anyway tua pride headcanons cus i want to lol :P *note- i do not identity with all of these labels. i cannot give you a personal experience or defense for these. if i include any harmful stereotypes, lmk. itās pride month and queer people are valid*
quick overview, analysis below the readmore
luther- he/him cishet
diego- he/him cis and bicurious
allison- she/her cishet
klaus- he/she (they sometimes) genderqueer/enby, pansexual
five- they/he gay and ace. agender.
ben- he/him cishet
viktor- he/they transmasc lesbian
for some i used the canonical pronouns as to not confuse before i get the explanation. <33333
luther- to me heās like a cishet guy honestly. i still love the pride hcās other people have, bc most of the time theyāre really good. i just prefer this reading, espec. with sloane (QUEEN!!!!). i also donāt like the s1 era fics where everyone hated luther (almost entirely unjustified) so they would make him be a dick to klaus and stuff. like did he drink reggieās kool aid? yes. but is he homophobic? no. i think a better example in a canonical kid fic of him saying mean things to klaus for plot would be like,, making fun of him for being a druggie or lazy, because thatās stuff that reginald would actually encourage him to say. rant over lmao that just has always bothered me.
diego- honestly this one is back and forth for me, between bisexual and straight. like him and lila being bi4bi is just too fucking amazing, but he does give off straight guy energy sometimes so iāll put it at a bi-curious. heās def an ally though, and i can imagine he would do his best to get over his fear of needles to help v with his t shots, or defend klaus from homophobic assholes. although i personally hc him as cis, the transmasc diego people have their fucking shit together because that HITS DIFFERENT. i think done right, it adds so much to his character in AUās and stuff and itās just rly cute!! but bisexual diego is a very fanon thing that i like to see.
allison- i think probably straight and cis once again. she seems very comfy and happy in her femininity and gender, and her with ray??? (sidenote almond as a ship name makes me lose it ITS SO CUTE). i think sheās always been a big ally to klaus. i can also see her as pan or bi, but pressured to appear as straight by the constant eyes on her since she was like ten. i mean not only was she the only girl, but also a black girl? she was 100% so insecure during her childhood because people were constantly critiquing her. so honestly i donāt think it would be too out of the ordinary to hc her as queer.
klaus- i mean, we all know this one. as far as i know he has been canonically (though not mentioned in show, more like an interview or something) pansexual and non-binary. if not then itās VERY FANON. directly through the show, we see his attraction to men through dave and also his enjoyment of more feminine clothes and makeup and things like that. i hc him as genderqueer and just generally chilling out and not really caring too much about labels. like a āiāll fuck you if youāre hotā kind of attitude.
five- now this one might get me some weirdness, but i donāt see five as a cishet man for my hcāing purposes. a common fanon opinion is that heās asexual, which i totally like. i also think heās gay. i guess that would be homoromantic? and also agender. he said no. no. MEN. i think that any romantic hc that does not acknowledge delores is not doing it right, bc holy shit delores is so fucking important to the understanding of his character!!!!! i believe in the interpretation that delores is himself, but a separated part that he forced himself to view as a separate entity to survive the apocalypse. he kind of fucking tricked himself into loving himself, though unfortunately as many people have pointed out, he doesnāt see himself as capable of good. he doesnāt see that delores is him- he canāt. he was down bad though for his mannequin apocalypse wife okay??? they were in love fuck you???? idk sexuality is fluid. let this old man live his life. heās so tired. also agender, i think they donāt like being called a boy (possibly childhood trauma, possibly gender) but still is okay with āold manā.
ben- he is the token cishet of the upper numbers trio ( 567 icons real and true ). the jennifer incident was heavily implied if not directly and canonically stated to be a romantic issue, and also him and jill!!!! yes it was weird but it was so cute. bring back umbrella ben istg idc about the themes you messed them up in s3 anyway. i would talk more about him BUT HE NEVER GOT ENOUGH FUCKING SCREENTIME EVER AND THE THEMES THE THEMES HIS CHARACTER THEY DIDN- gets shot
viktor- canonically transmasc, canonically a woman enjoyer, ten out of ten character. i love looking at s1 era fics where people would be like. there is no way this guy doesnāt like women. *lesbian headcanons*. and elliot page just slaying with the queer rep season after season. i think he/they pronouns for viktor is really good and i like it :)). also some people hc them as bi because of harold (or for weird reasons but we donāt talk about that-) but i think itās more of a lesbian thing personally. now. donāt come after me iām not looking for he/him lesbian discourse on my pride month fandom post. AND FURTHERMORE elliot page is a king and he doesnāt deserve in any way the crazy hate he gets for being trans. trans men are men, trans ppl are valid etc. that being said, i hc him as a he/they lesbian. RESPECTFULLY. i imagine there were a lot of complicated factors while he was coming out and realizing things about themself. i think the harold thing was wanting to be wanted and loved more that actually wanting or loving, and you know we all gotta have that spicy *heteronormativity* woohoo.
bonus LILA (queen)- bisexual!! also she/they hcās are valid asf for that. we love a queen who can do both. not sure if this is partial or full canon, or just heavy fandom but idc.
okay byyeeee happy pride month and also have a good juneteenth. black lives matter!!!!!
#tua#writingastraightanswer#the umbrella academy#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#happy pride month everyone!!!!#this was way longer than i meant it to be lol#enjoy ig
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iām indian, and i also think that des was so necessary this season. i think thereās some cultural nuance that may go unnoticed for people who arenāt (which is totally not their fault!) but i definitely had pressure on me growing up to befriend and even date indian boys. iām sure my parentsā reasoning was different than mine, but i honestly really appreciated having someone who Got It. my ex was indian and it was very validating to be with someone who understood the things i was going through and had experienced them with his parents.
thereās also something very specific in how indian moms treat their sons versus their daughters, and rhyah was (unfortunately) a very good representation of that. it's kind of a Thing in indian communities, the boys are such momma's boys and get completely coddled whereas the girls are kind of forced to grow up much quicker. the way my mom treated me and the way she treated my brother were very different. which then leads into my dad being the one to really understand me and ride for me, so looking at it for devi... makes losing mohan impossibly more devastating, as was addressed in season one. but i think the scene in 3x09, an indian mom standing up for her daughter, is huge. there's also the added layer of the community and how gossipy and judgey and nosy they are, and how what nalini did would've definitely gotten out to them. s1 nalini was worried about how she was being seen and talked about (ganesh puja) but s3 nalini cares far more about protecting her daughter and validating her experiences even if it may get her talked about. this also contributes quite beautifully to the finale, where devi wants more time with nalini and nalini doesn't want her to go. des may not have been necessary to reach that point, but his inclusion in the story does make it hit so much harder for me.
i'm so sorry this turned so long! and of course i'm aware my experiences aren't universal and other indian people may completely disagree but i just wanted to share my perspective :) i love your analyses so much, you are truly a gift to the nhie fandom :)
thank you for this ask, and for the compliments! i have Thoughts on all of this, and iām so sorry in advance for how long this will inevitably be. but your perspective lights up my brain, making me wanna talk about devi/des and nalini and devi & naliniās dynamic and the role community plays in their lives and iām kissing you on the forehead.
let's start with devi/des because, as the show itself recognized, they make an exceptional springboard for the exploration of themes!!
iām indian, and i also think that des was so necessary this season. i think thereās some cultural nuance that may go unnoticed for people who arenāt (which is totally not their fault!) but i definitely had pressure on me growing up to befriend and even date indian boys. iām sure my parentsā reasoning was different than mine, but i honestly really appreciated having someone who Got It. my ex was indian and it was very validating to be with someone who understood the things i was going through and had experienced them with his parents.
(disclaimer: before we really get into it anything, i do not wish to invalidate your experience as an indian person watching this show, rather build upon it with my findings as an academic mr. abed, but definitely read my take with the grain of salt that i'm a whitey white person and - aside from a handful of novels over the past couple years - nhie is one of the few indian-made-about-indian-identity pieces of media i've consumed.)
here's my hot take: des himself actually offers devi very little in the way of deeper connection to her culture.
a prominent aspect of deviās fractured identity, of course, is how americanized she is in comparison to the rest of her family. she eats meat and complains about having to wear saris and would rather vacation in aspen than india because itās the playground of the rich and famous! she shows basically no interest in bridging this divide, either, because any and all participation in hindu culture only makes her feel further away from the picture of high school normality to which she aspires. this exchange from 1.04, for example, is especially relevant to our discussion:
so, itās telling about the showās intentions for the relationship that devi and des meet in an episode where deviās forced to straddle her high school and her hindu identities, with her forced participation in navarathri getting in the way of her doing damage control on her post-paxton image, only to have des help more with the high school damage control than deviās disinterest in her culture. his callout of her shallow understanding of her own community aside - youāre one of those indian girls who only likes white guys and thinks all indian dudes are computer geeks or cheesy club rats who wear too much cologne - des unwittingly pulls devi closer to that picture of high school normality sheās chasing by being the one to suggest they make paxton jealous. their chemistry overshadows any serious discussion of deviās mild racism.
this is consistent with the showās treatment of the relationship across the board, too. on the surface, by merit of being weirdly sort of a combo of [ben and paxton] if [they] were also indian, des is better suited to devi than her past boyfriends. in actuality, he reinforces the shallowness of the ideal deviās been reaching for this whole time because, for devi, to be with him means to escape out from under herself.
that being said, itās obviously very relevant to the plot and to deviās emotional journey that des is indian come 3.09. i think itās, once again, telling, though, that, after she gets to experience the high of dating a guy out in the open and with her momās approval, that feeling of normalcy is quashed under the nuances of participating in indian culture. namely, the special brand of misogyny you outlined so well:
thereās also something very specific in how indian moms treat their sons versus their daughters, and rhyah was (unfortunately) a very good representation of that. it's kind of a Thing in indian communities, the boys are such momma's boys and get completely coddled whereas the girls are kind of forced to grow up much quicker. the way my mom treated me and the way she treated my brother were very different. which then leads into my dad being the one to really understand me and ride for me, so looking at it for deviā¦ makes losing mohan impossibly more devastating, as was addressed in season one.
thereās so much to be said about the showās relationship to indian-specific misogyny, it probably deserves its own post, so for now iāll just say this - the fact that something culture-specific drove devi and des apart highlights, in my opinion, the way des fails to provide devi a deeper connection to being indian.
now, letās switch gears for a moment to talk about nalini. a prominent aspect of her characterization is that sheās secure in the way her culture shapes her identity but feels disconnected from that culture in such a way that brings about an inversion of deviās own fractured identity. you mentioned ganesh puja, and that episode is the perfect example of the push and pull in naliniās life where her culture is concerned. she doesnāt have any close friends within the sherman oaks community so showing up to puja means nonstop scrutiny with no refuge from rehashing her still-fresh loss, but it also means spiritual enrichment. for example,
thereās a reason this is a) one of the most emotionally-impactful closing shots of an episode and b) one of my personal favorite moments in the show, and the reason is that naliniās whole world feels immediate and peaceful - her girls in the close space of the car with her, all of them touched by and processing pandit rajās words. it represents everything nalini wants. namely, to feel the strong ties to her family facilitated by participation in her culture.
since nalini spends season one so insecure in her ability to rebuild any meaningful sense of family or community in the wake of mohanās death and devi actively resists inclusion in the community for the way it makes her feel like a loser virgin, nalini and devi find themselves harshly at odds over the cultural divide. both 1.04 and 1.09 feature significant moments of tension - so disappointed in you and i wish you were the one that died that night, respectively. their needs and wants are too antithetical for them to ever find common ground.
then nirmala (my beloved) shows up and provides nalini some security. she both connects nalini and devi back to mohan, as well as makes naliniās home in india feel closer without uprooting devi from hers. and - not to take away from what you said here -
des may not have been necessary to reach that point, but his inclusion in the story does make it hit so much harder for me.
- because, yes, devi having her first mom-approved boyfriend is a significant turning point in both deviās journey and devi & naliniās relationship and he would never have been nalini-approved if he werenāt indian, but !! the hugeness of nalini standing up for devi can and should be traced back primarily to women!!
specifically, the way the four generations of women coming together and fostering a deeper understanding of each other facilitates reflection on what parts of their culture actively harms them and on how participation in the culture could be molded to fit their lives instead of them trying to fit the mold as dictated to them by the culture. there are unreasonable expectations to navigate and harsh and impenetrable social structures in place, but thereās also a safety and comfort in having a community that prides itself on its ability to knit its members closer and closer together.
all thatās to say, i do think des provides something to the story by merit of being indian that no other pre-existing character could have and is, as you put it, necessary to the season. but itās also essential to my understanding of the showās themes that heās not the one who bridges the cultural disconnect in deviās identity. instead, nalini, nirmala, kamala, and - most important of all - devi herself will be responsible for defining what, exactly, being indian means to her.
#never have i ever#nhie meta#anon#replies#devi vishwakumar#nalini vishwakumar#uh-huh. this did. indeed. get long#catty liveblogs nhie s3: rewatch edition
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Yall, just so you know this is anonymous, so I can't see who would vote no.
Also
Hi! I'm Craven!
I'm a wanna be artist with absolute crushed self esteem that desperately needs validation to get self worth and on the other hand doesn't believe that people's compliments are valid!
So basically= A self made self esteem issue!
I jump from hobby to hobby like a whore, making music, crotchet, animation, drawing, learning japanese (and failing miserably š), gave up on learning danish, learning guitar and keyboard, I used to make iron pellet art (hard to make with shaky ass hands)
Das me btw! In all my glory! (Wet socks in the sand, God fears me)
(me in school and my new jacket, old pic, Mochi laughed a lot :> )
Boring facts=
I'm 20 and a mess cuz since 2015 I've been simping over undertale like a Maniac (it's been better these days, but tumblr temporarily pushed me back into the obsession)
I'm a cat/ dog fanatic, but always crows before hoes
My favorite colors are purple, red, blue and black
I'm definitely demisexual polyamourous, but pan or polyromantic? I dunno lol.
Also genderfluid (altho i personally never really know what gender I feel like in the moment)
I have an absolute hopeless love for my aro/ace best friend who is called Mochi and she is the best and literally only real (real life) friend I ever had
Totally not my dumb brain starved for human connection and then immediately clinging to whoever is being a decent person to me
Luckily she is also a bomb person and kind so she doesn't use me like my other friendships XD
How did Red Mass start?
To get an idea of what my AU is, you gotta know how my dumb brain thought of it.
2015. I was absolutely sucked into Undertale after watching a german YouTuber play it, and then I started watching a certain Irish fella play it as well.
I started watching comic dubs of all the Au's that people made, faning out and just binged watched everything relating to it.
Then my family and I had vacation.
A trip to Rome (it was hot and awful, never again. Fucking 40Ā°C celsius are you kidding me?)
It was a 15 hour trip (with bathroom/ smoker breaks)
And i layed in the back of the car, daydreaming about all those Au's.
It was awesome and cool and I slowly started to MAYBE get pandora syndrome of where I desperately wanted to be a part of those stories (I know. Cringe)
It got so bad that I maaaaybe cried in bed every night hoping I'd just wake up in the stories (but my life sucks so that also played a role)
So on that car ride, Luna lovania (god the cringe hurts me badly) was born.
A skeleton oc at first, later being an oc that is a fusion of Frisk and sans (which still is a part of Red Mass)
I daydreamed 15 hours + 15 hours back about Red Mass, it was such bliss (and even while we were in Rome)
And since that point, I have kept daydreaming every day for 8 years, and it became a big part of my life (as ridiculous as this sounds)
I just realized I might be insane.
Oh well
I will make a specific Red Mass post, explaining the story a bit and character introduction ((but not revealing too many spoilers since I kinda wanna make it into a thing))
I hope you guys mean it if you say you're interested :)
#Hi!#I'm Craven#And yeah it's a lot. Like a lot a lot#I hope you guys don't hate me for being a fucking crazy weirdo.#But heyyyy I'm in therapy. So hope that helps#Srsly tho#I hope I'm not the only person on planet earth that daydreams this fucking hard?#I mean duh it's absolutely abnormal but like... There's gotta be other weirdos out there right?#Why do i add so many tags?#Cuz i wanna#red mass#undertale#Introduction even tho I literally had this account for months now lollll#Well now you know my weird stuff and personality a bit#Ok srsly this is so many tags I'll stop now
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Svar Watches BBC Robin Hood for the First Time - Season 1
So I recently decided to finally get around to seeing a show I've been meaning to watch for like nearly 10 years. I am so far past missing the boat on this one, but since I've been doing a bit of a "catching up on shows from the 2000's I didn't really get to see at the time" run lately, I thought I'd record my thoughts for y'all's amusement.
So here we go, Season 1 thoughts:
Every single one of these Merry Men, including Robin, suffers from Just Some Guy disease, fucking RIP
Except Djaq. Djaq is cool.
We can all agree that Much is clearly a little gay for Robin, right?
Guy of Gisborne is such an asshole, but unfortunately Richard Armitage is too good at his job, so Guy is also hot.
The Sheriff is cartoonishly evil and I hate him, but I'm kind of loving how just like a lot his personality is. Like this bitch belongs in a cracktastic Crusader Kings playthrough, holy shit.
Damn, Marian really is the only fully competent motherfucker in the whole place, huh?
Make that two competent motherfuckers, adding Djaq.
Man, this writing is super shabby in places, but when they hit, they fucking hit.
This show really bills itself as a fun adventure show but boy does it have shit to say at times, shit that was kinda ballsy of them to be saying in 2006. Like positively portraying Muslim characters and condemning pointless wars in the Middle East (the messaging on this gets muddled in a few places, but the fact that it's in there at all is impressive). Like you expect to see class struggle and sexism talked about in Robin Hood, but I wasn't expecting them to do so much with the "oh yeah, we just got back from Palestine and we have PTSD and maybe the Crusade is really bad actually". Bravo.
Ah, but this is a BBC show, so we can't have anti-monarchism. King Richard is totally awesome and is definitely going to make everything better when he gets back. Like I know that's baked into the Robin Hood tales, but they could lean into it less in places, I feel.
I think part of what makes Guy so captivating is that he's complicated and clearly suffers from a lot of inner conflict. I love knowing why villains are Like That, and we get so much about him from seeing his initial reactions to things vs. his behaviour after the Sheriff talks to him. Even just watching Richard Armitage's facial expressions is so rewarding. He gives us so much information about Guy just with his body language. Fucking brilliant.
Holy shit the more of this I watch, the more I'm like oh yeah Guy is an abuse victim and the Sheriff is his abuser. Like obviously that's not an excuse for any of the multitudes of evil things he does, but damn that boy is caught in a cycle. It has all the classic abuse features. Having his impressionable nature/eagerness to please taken advantage of. Being constantly inflicted with physical and emotional violence. Being manipulated into making choices against his judgement and editing himself to better fit what his abuser wants him to be. Being isolated from positive influences and being told to reject other sources of validation and support. Having his toxic masculinity heavily reinforced. Being consistently ignored and undervalued. The list goes on.
Anyway, I think I have a new blorbo now. I don't have many evil blorbos these days, but he's earned his place. I hope he gets good character development. Or at least gets to stab the Sheriff.
Much annoyed me a bit in the beginning, but he's starting to grow on me after he stood up to Robin and went through that business of the noble title.
God, I just want to shake Guy by the shoulders like you have everything you need to be more interesting to Marian than Robin, but you're fucking blowing it so hard, my dude. Ah, but alas, it must be this way.
I want to shake Robin by the shoulders like you would have this in the bag dude if you would just actually listen to Marian and support her instead of telling her what you think she should do all the time. Goddamn he and Guy ultimately have the same fucking problem.
#TeamFuckAllYallLetMarianRunEverythingActually
BRUH IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME GUY WANTED TO MAKE A GOOD DECISION FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE AND THEN FUCKING SWERVED AT THE LAST SECOND BECAUSE OF SOME SHIT THE SHERIFF SAID I'D BE RICH BY NOW SWEET JESUS.
I can't believe they ended this season on the most Good Job, Lads moment oh my god it's so cheesy but so on brand.
To see my Season 2 thoughts, go here.
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I'm having a rough time with uni and getting a job so I need a bit of cheering. Could you please recommend me some of your favourites HR books? Something to calm me down. Thank you so much ā¤ļø
Aww, dude, I'm sorry. I've been there. It's such a tough transitional time, and I'm actually helping my little sister in a similar spot. I'm confident y'all will get to where you need to be, but it's a struggle for a little while and I want to validate your feelings there.
I also am so so down to offer some comfort reads!
What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long. JAL is a really good comfort read author to me because her books are funny and a bit light, while at the same time offering a lot of passion. This one has a hero who's around 39/40 and a heroine who's 20, and he's out there to get revenge on her brother (who cucked him) by deflowering her. But she's fully aware of his plan and is actually kind of using his attentions to try to make this guy she's into jealous. It's got some angst, but it's sexy and very romantic.
After Dark with the Duke by Julie Anne Long. My other favorite JAL! Another age gap book, 42-year-old stern duke is staying at the same boarding house as this 25-year-old scandalous opera singer. He hurts her feelings so to make it up to her he offers to teach her Italian, and then.... shit gets oN.
Fifth Avenue Rebels series by Joanna Shupe. Best read in order, imo, because the first three books are all good to great and lead up to this intense crescendo with the final book.
The Heiress Hunt--House party, childhood friends reunite and he's super jealous because she's about to get engaged to a hot duke.
The Lady Gets Lucky--Shy heroine, rake hero, she asks him to help her with sex lessons so that she's less of a wallflower. He's trying to prove that he's a Business Bitch. It's very hot and fun.
The Bride Goes Rogue--Hero and heroine were betrothed by their fathers and she realizes he has no intention of following through, and they sort of break up? But directly after that they hook up at a masquerade sex part, and they enter into this love/hate thing.
The Duke Gets Even--Hero and heroine are in a long-term enemies to lovers deal (he's the aforementioned hot duke) and start hooking up on the low, but he needs to marry for money and she's a scandalous lady rogue who refuses to settle down. All time favorite!
A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean. My favorite MacLean, childhood friends who were separated reunite when he (now a Bad Man) forces the heroine to marry him so he can get his inheritance back. One Good Earl Deserves A Lover follows this and is one of the best dirty talk books ever, with a nerdy heroine and a hero she asks to corrupt her--and he's like ONLY VERBALLY.
Of course, Dreaming of You is my favorite Kleypas, and a total classic--intrepid writer heroine saves the life of a rough gambling club owner and forces him to let her shadow him as she researches her next book. It's got a lot of angst, but it's also so funny and romantic.
Grace Callaway writes a funny, hot historical, though I will say they have mystery subplots which can get a bit dark. I would recommend trying her Charlie's Angels retelling series, starting with Olivia and the Masked Duke (young heroine realizes she wants to get with her older man friend who sees her as a little sister after she spies on him spanking a woman).
Alexis Hall writes gorgeous, funny queer historical romances that hit deep themes but are so fucking funny. If you're in the mood for less angst, ready Something Wonderful (m/m roadtrip romance) and Something Spectacular (nonbinary/nobinary like... historical celebrity romance?). If you're down for more angst, try A Lady for a Duke (friends to lovers with a trans heroine).
Vivienne Lorret writes comforting, funny, emotional historicals--I'd recommend The Wrong Marquess (light enemies to lovers with the hero falling for his little sister's friend; there's a scene where he is so obsessed with her that after she stops eating a bowl of ice cream he finishes it and has to hold back from licking the bowl, I die), How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart (heroine agrees to be a rogue's mistress for four months, he's all "I'll feel nothing" and feels everything), and Never Seduce a Duke (fucking WILD, nerdy hero becomes obsessed with this heroine because he thinks she's trying to steal from him, he chases her over like three countries and then they separate.... but after they reunite a couple years later, it looks like he left something behind without realizing itttt).
If you're down for some old school medievals (these have some light dubcon and dated references to the Ottoman Empire that aren't super heavy, but are present) I'd recommend Elizabeth Lowell's Untamed (hero and heroine in an arranged marriage, he wants a son real bad but women of her line shall only bear sons if they are in love, it's insane) and Forbidden (direct follow up, the sub-villain of the previous book shows up in another land with amnesia and the heroine charged with caring for him feels pain if she touches anyone but himmmm). They're fucking wild but they totally transport you to another state of mind, trust me. I did like the last book, Enchanted, as well--but rape is a heavy part of the plot and the heroine is very traumatized by that (she was not raped by the hero, but she and the hero are in an arranged marriage and she refuses to tell him why she abhors his touch).
The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin is an amazing enemies to lovers villain as hero book with a warlord who takes the former emperor's concubine hostage in order to get information out of her... and falls in love.
Lorraine Heath, I'll always recommend--some of her books can be a bit heavier, but if you want something zany that will take your mind away from everything, there's always Gorilla Twins, aka The Earl Takes All, the one where the hero pretends to be his dead identical twin so that the heroine (his dead brother's pregnant wife) doesn't miscarry. Waking Up with the Duke is my absolute favorite of hers, the one where the hero's best friend asks him to get the heroine pregnant because the best friend is impotent (hero's fault).
Maiden Lane can be a bit intense, but I think Thief of Shadows is an angsty if ultimately uplifting book--the one where Winter Makepeace runs around like Zorro fighting crime and saving kids and falls in love with a widow. He's a virgin, she is NOT. Does deal with infertility.
Of course, Tessa Dare's books are so funny and sexy. Spindle Cove is a total comfort series for me, especially A Week to Be Wicked.
The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles is a lovely m/m historical that has an amazing setting, some found family vibes, and great funny, heartfelt dynamic between the heroes.
Indigo is my favorite Beverly Jenkins book so far--it does deal heavily with themes of slavery, as the heroine was enslaved as a child and works with the Underground Railroad now. But it's a super well-written, emotional, "rake falls hard and CANNOT get up" romance.
Hotel of Secrets by Diana Biller is a historical set in Vienna that's funny, hot, emotional, and has a good little mystery subplot. Heroine is running a hotel, hero is a virgin spy, he saves her life a ton while some mysterious person tries to kill her.
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New Year New Queer - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 1/1/2023
Hey Whores, You know what time it is. Thats rights sluts and slanterns its time to regale you with tales of gay but before that daddys sad and instead of giving you cummies or some gay shit like that he wants emotional validation.
(if one of my mutuals could just shove my face in there tits and stroke my hair thanks)
so um yeah basically I hate my job and I go to look at the fucking hours I get to work this week, and I'm screduled for four hours.
FOUR FUCKING HOURS.
there is in fact never a time and place were that is appropriate especially when this is not something that was forwarned.
the good news is that I'm gonna use my freetime to canvess the shit out of town and get myself a new fucking job. I don't deserve this shit and I deserve better. of course I still need to reread my employee contract because guess what dumb bitch signed a non-competition clause.
(this is what pops up when I type "It's Me!" so apparently I'm Henry Cavell. and I thought I couldn't get sexier)
in other news and entertainement I have finally recieved my self christmas presents which are Hollywood Babylon and The Celluloid Closet at this point I really fucking miss working at any my fucking other jobs because It is amazing how boring people are. like people look me in the face and tell me they go home and do nothing and dream about nothing, and have no ambition. That the world they see is colorless and joyless. that they crave no more simulation then through the bars of there cage.
Disgusting, I yearn to be free of the things that limit me to never loose my curiousity to do things because I can, to learn things because I can, to remember that while Nitcze was a total fucking incel and loser that there is a kernal of truth in "Saying Yes to yourself, instead of no to others". I've been feeling really limited in this job and its hard, hard to swallow my pride, to make myself small, to feel that I am only as valuable as the space I occupy and not the being that I am.
I am better then that job not because I am over-qualified, or that it is "Beneath Me". I am better then that job because the job asks me to be less then my potential and I refuse that mantle.
Oh wait isn't this shit supposed to be about movies or something lol oopsie.
Club De Femmes (1936) dir. Jacques Deval
from what I vaguley remember this french film was censored in america for being too risque and honestly I get it. This movie has a lot of fan-service, wear talking a lot of women walking around in the sluttiest outfits 1930s had to offer, (yes god yes), were talking men dressing up as women to FUCK, were talking human trafficking, were talking MURDER, were talking REAL LIFE LESBIANS.
(I was trying to find that clip from Cringe were she says the line but this will do.)
yeah this film has a lot going on and also it has like a bonified lesbian subplot shes not predatory, (at least by the usually standard), and out of all the gay films I've seen so far the character has this kind of internality, (is that the word interiorality???), that I have yet to see in a lot of these films besides mommy kink megee in Madchen In Uniform.
The Lady Vanishes (1938) dir Alfred Hitchcock.
so as has been established Hitchcock kinda just liked gay shit in his films. in this case some people have read Cadicott and Codswallop or whatever the fuck there names are as just sucking and fucking all the time as a gay couple.
This is a little teneous but it is a cute headcannon even if the actually film is light on subtext.
Speaking of which this is basically like if an agatha christie novel met a Mrs. Pollifax Novel so you know I loved that shit.
Rebecca (1940) dir Alfred Hitchcock
UGGGGGGH Laurence Oliver can fuck me right in the BUSSY. I just wanted get fucked and sucked by both of them they are so fucking hot.
So if you don't know why this is on the list. First go watch it we love it we stan, we have watched several very long podcast episodes devoted to how much the queens and the queers love rebecca.
Second Lets talk about mrs Danvers. Shes serving us a little school marm ala Madchen in Uniform and she is just horrible fond of the epoynmous Rebecca. And by fond I mean gay. and by gay I mean just that type of gay were your pratically co-dependant on your partner.
Yeah basically Rebecca was the type of bisexual demon that all those melodramas warned you about and Danvers was her SECRET LESBIAN LOVER!!!!!
Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ (1925) dir. Fred Niblo
so Ben-Hur the OG, (I mean theres a short from 1907 but shut your whore mouth), is part of a growing list of films called, "The researchers personal bias read a lot of gay subtext into this film and/or they just wanted to fuck the cast". I of course am above said bias and yes I am about to publish my thesis on how the shark from jaws was a metaphor about how badly those three men wanted to fuck each other.
(there gays harold)
The researcher in question is our favorite gayboy Vito Russo who listed this as part of the filmography segement in his book the Celleloid Closet. I have yet to read The Celleloid Closet as I am still reading Hollywood Babylon but its next on my list so I will see if I can find better context for why Russo included it in his film list.
The reason why Vito Russo included this is that this film does contain a mans bare ass chained to a wall. Do we see this man elsewear, is he eroticized in his torture like in UN chant d'amour. .... no.
its just a naked guy and while I will say there is a little homoerotic tension between masalla and ben-hur and a lot of male nudity this film is pretty straight. Like objectively a cool film and a silent fim classic. but its not incredible queer.
(I didn't technically need to show you some ass but I just wanted an excuse to stare at a hot guy in the shower. because I'm a pervert you get it)
Whats The World Coming To? (1926) dir. Richard Wallace,Ā F. Richard Jones
so this is just a role reversal comedy set in the future and it was honestly a lot of fun. We have these really out there fashion choices that are both avant garde and weirdly dated and its just a really fun look at retro-futurism from an era we don't normally get to see.
In the future of course we all get around on blimps and work in the blimp factory and also the gender roles are reversed with butch strong women taking care of there domestic husbands.
( I literally typed in Girlboss X Malewife. but you know what I'll except it)
This film feels weirdly reminscent of Bunholdes Lover by Patience and Sullivan, likes its serving Savoy Opera Realness. Which is weird because I have never seen any opera let alone the specific 1890s sylings of the comic opera but something about the use of pantomime and the costuming feels incredible emblamatic of that theatrical tradition.
I thought this was a surprisingly fun time and I had a lot of fun with what is honestly a pretty fresh take on the role reversal comedy.
Going forward the rest of the role reversal comedies we have are going to be a little less joculer??. speaking of which tonights film is going to be Glen or Glenda? A Cult film shot in four days supposedly inspired by real life Transgendererererererererererererer, (i'm being playful), Christine Jorgensine, the G.I Bombshell. I here that its something else.
#diary#queer cinema#queer movies#firstgaykiss#club de femmes#the lady vanishes#Rebecca#Ben-hur: A tale of Christ#Lesbians#Lesbophobia
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