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grailfinders · 4 years ago

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Fate and Phantasms #143: Enkidu

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re forging the Chains of Heaven and world-famous actor best known for their part in the 1990 smash hit Ghost (they were the pottery), Enkidu!

Our fair enby is a Monster Slayer Ranger, mixing in their anti-divine properties, self healing, and ability to sense movement through the earth around them. And that’s it. I know, I was surprised too.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: If you haven’t watched No Evil yet, you should.

Race and Background

You’re made out of clay and have a lot of robot tropes slapped onto you, so Warforged is a pretty good pick for you. This gives you +2 Constitution and +1 Wisdom, as well as Constructed Resilience. This gives you advantage and resistance to poison, and you don’t need to eat, breathe, drink, or sleep. You’re also immune to disease.

To supplement the whole “not sleeping” thing, you instead take a Sentry’s Rest, standing still and conscious for 6 hours instead of sleeping over a long rest.

You look like you’re not wearing armor, but that might just be because of the robe. Regardless of your stance on putting Enkidu in armor, they still get Integrated Protection anyway, giving you +1 AC, and making your armor unremovable if you’re not incapacitated. This also means it takes an hour to put on and take off, but y’know, checks and balances.

Finally, your Specialized Design gives you proficiency with one skill of your choice. You were made by the gods, so it might be a good idea to remember their names. Religion it is!

Thanks to hanging out in the woods for a while after being made you’re an Outlander. This gives you proficiency with Athletics and Survival.

Ability Scores

Since Enkidu’s stats are literally described in terms of point buy, we’re going with that too. You’ll want your Wisdom as high as possible at 15 for the sharpest senses points can buy. We need to be able to speak to animals and sense vibrations through the earth, dammit! After that is Strength set to 14... and I just realized that despite going with point buy I ended up with a stat array identical to the standard array. Oh well. Anyway, strength is next, gotta hold together when you’re locking gods in place. After that is Intelligence (13), you’ve got a perfect memory and you’re great at adapting to change. Your Dexterity (12) isn’t amazing, but your body’s tough enough to deal with issues. Your Constitution’s (10) even lower, but it gets bumped up with your racial bonus. Finally, dump Charisma(8). You have a lot of issues when it comes to understanding other people.

Class Levels

1. Starting out as a ranger gives you proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as three ranger skills. Animal Handling will help you get along better with your master, while Investigation and Perception make finding new information to digest a lot easier.

You also make celestials your Favored Enemy, giving you advantage on survival and intelligence checks about them. It’s a shame this doesn’t enhance your magic against them, but we’ll take what we can get. You’re also a Deft Explorer, making you Canny with one skill, doubling its proficiency bonus. Double down on Perception for an even stronger radar sense.

2. Second level rangers get a fighting style, and Blind Fighting lets you feels through your feets, sensing any creatures within 10′ of you as long as they aren’t specifically hiding from you. You can also cast Spells now, using your Wisdom to do so.

Cure Wounds is a good way to get your healing factor started early, and Hunter’s Mark is effectively mandatory for rangers. Deal more damage when you hit the thing and track said thing easier.

3. Joining the Monster Slayer conclave sets you down the path a turn against your creators and chain the heavens. (This also works for bunch of other types of creatures, but hush.) Your Monster Slayer Magic gives you a bonus spell each time you reach a new spell level. Right now you get Protection from Evil and Good, which forces disadvantage on extraplanar creatures attacking them, and makes it so they can’t be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. Fighting gods would be a lot harder if they could just assume manual control, wouldn’t it?

You also get a Hunter’s Sense, letting you spend an action to learn a creature’s damage immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities. Despite what FGO has taught you, taking down Godmode Ishtar will be harder than slapping every lancer you have into a team and hitting red buttons.

Your last Slayer bonus for now is the Slayer’s Prey, a bonus action to tack on even more extra damage to your first weapon attack against a designated creature each turn. You can only keep it up on a single creature at a time though.

That’s not all, though! You also get Primal Awareness, giving you even more spells when your magic levels up, and you can cast these spells once per long rest without using a spell slot (or whenever if you use a slot, like duh). Right now you get Speak with Animals. I don’t know why your master is a wolf, but you make it work.

Finally, the spell you normally learn at this level is Ensnaring Strike. You go Enkidu! Ensnare those strucken enemies!

4. Your first Ability Score Improvement is going towards Strength so you can stab things deader.

5. Fifth level rangers can make an Extra Attack as part of their attack action. You also get a bunch more spells.

From your subclass, Zone of Truth. Force a charisma save (dc 8+proficiency+wis) against creatures in the zone, and if they fail they can’t lie. It’s not really in character, but it is neat.

Primal Awareness gives you Beast Sense, letting you see and hear through a beast’s... senses... (hence the name) for up to an hour. This one’s a bit closer.

Your normal spell for the level is Barkskin, giving you a minimum AC of 16 for up to an hour. It’s not ideal since it’s a concentration spell, but it’s there if you want to be a stickler about not wearing armor.

6. At sixth level you can apply your Favored Enemy feature to Beasts as well. I don’t think Enkidu’s one to hold a grudge, but I doubt they like snakes much by this point. You also become Roving, adding 5 feet to your movement speed, and giving you a climbing and swimming speed equal to your walking speed.

7. Your next slayer goody is a Supernatural Defense, which adds 1d6 to your saves and grapple escape rolls against a creature you stuck your Slayer’s Prey on.

To further increase your adaptability, you learn the spell Enhance Ability this level, giving you advantage on any one kind of skill check for the duration.

8. Use this ASI to bump up your Wisdom for stronger spells and senses. You also become Fleet of Foot, letting you pass through difficult terrain without extra movement. You also ignore nonmagical plants when moving through them, and have advantage on moving through magical plants.

9. Another spell level up, another massive burst in how many spells you can use.

Thanks to being a slayer you learn Magic Circle, letting you trap an extraplanar creature either inside or outside of a 10′ radius circle. It’s... almost the chains of heaven, but there’s still some leeway in there.

You can also Speak with Plants thanks to your Primal Awareness. This one’s more of a stretch, but it’s part and parcel of speaking with animals now, so have at it.

Finally, the spell you learn by choice is Meld into Stone, giving you the perfect hiding spot for up to 8 hours. You are clay after all, this really isn’t much of an issue for you.

10. Tenth level rangers are Tireless, giving you a nonmagical healing factor you can activate as an action, and your exhaustion levels get reduced on short rests now too.

You can also shapeshift into Nature’s Veil, effectively making yourself invisible for a round as a bonus action.

11. Eleventh level slayers are a Magic-User’s Nemesis, letting you react to a creature casting a spell or teleporting nearby to foil it. The creature has to make a wisdom save against your spell save DC or waste its spell/teleport. Gods tend to cheat, and the easiest way out of chains is teleportation. Don’t let them do that. You can use this feature once per short rest.

You also learn the spell Healing Spirit for another long-term healing solution. It does require you staying put for a bit, but you can always meld into stone first if you really wanna.

12. We generally front-load feats, but there’s never a bad time for a Keen Mind. This feat rounds up your Intelligence, you always have a good sense of direction and time, and most importantly you have perfect memory for up to a month. Your memories are literally carved into your being, they’re hard to get rid of.

13. Thirteenth level rangers get fourth level spells, and you get three of them!

From the slayers: Banishment lets you force another creature back to its own plane. That’s literally the opposite of the chains of heaven, but it might be the best option for something like Tiamat.

From Primal Awareness: Locate Creature helps you keep tabs on a creature within 1000 feet of you. Gods are notoriously tricksy shapeshifters. This will help deal with that a bit.

You also become a Guardian of Nature, letting you transform yourself for up to a minute in one of two ways. As a primal beast, you can move faster, get darkvision, have advantage on strength-based attacks, and deal extra damage on a hit. As a great tree, you gain temporary HP, make constitution saves and dexterity/wisdom based attacks with advantage, and the ground within 15′ of you is difficult terrain for enemies. I’d say the former is more useful, but the latter also has its charms.

14. Your last Favored Enemy are Aasimar and Genasi, so you can be just as effective against demigods as you are against their full-blooded family. You also learn how to Vanish, letting you hide as a bonus action. You also can’t be tracked unless you choose to be or it’s done magically.

15. Your penultimate goody from the slayer’s conclave is a Slayer’s Counter. If a creature you’ve hit with the Slayer’s Prey tried to force a save on you, you can use your reaction to make an attack against it. If it hits, your save automatically succeeds. We might not be able to make all your saves good, but we can make it so you can ignore them entirely.

To protect you from physical attacks, you learn Stoneskin this level, giving you resistance to physical damage types while it’s up. Your skin is literally made out of clay, so it tracks.

16. Use this ASI to bump your Strength up more for stronger attacks and a better chance of your Slayer’s Counter connecting.

17. At seventeenth level you finally gain fifth level spells!

Your spell of choice is Greater Restoration, so you can remove all those debuffs from yourself.

Your final goody from your Primal Awareness is Commune with Nature. Now you can become one with the great outdoors and learn three facts about the area around you, up to a 3 mile radius. You can pick from: terrain and bodies of water, prevalent plants, minerals, animals, or people, powerful extraplanar entities, influences from those planes, or buildings.

Last but not least, your ultimate Slayer spell is your Chain of Heaven, Hold Monster. Force a wisdom save on a creature to paralyze it until it makes one on the end of its turn or up to a minute. No shunting it off to another dimension, no giving it space to wander around, just good old sit the fuck down.

18. At eighteenth level you gain Feral Senses, effectively giving you blindsight out to 30 feet. This renders Blind Fighting completely useless, but don’t worry about it.

19. For your last ASI, max out your Wisdom for the strongest spells, the strongest senses, and the strongest counterspells you can get. Also, in what I think is a first for this blog, you’re going to use Martial Versatility to switch out that useless Blind Fighting for something scarier, like Dueling. Your chains are pretty light if you’re trying to keep your human form, so I’d call them one-handed weapons.

If you want to launch those suckers for some distance though, I can’t recommend Conjure Volley enough. Get this, it conjures... a volley of projectiles, throwing them all over the place for damage.

20. The capstone ranger feature is the Foe Slayer, letting you add your wisdom to an attack or damage roll against your favored enemies once per round. It’s honestly underwhelming, but extra damage is extra damage.

Pros:

Thanks to blindsight and your obscenely high perception, you’re hard to sneak up on. Also, you don’t sleep, so you’re the perfect guard for a party on the run.

You’re a tireless ranger with a lot of healing spells to burn through, which makes you pretty self-sufficient if you need to go off on your own. You don’t need another person to take watch, and you don’t need another person to lug around healing potions!

You have a lot of ways to lock down enemies, ensnaring them in place for future attacks or escapes. This is especially true of extraplanar creatures, but Hold Monster works on literally anything, especially with your maxed out wisdom.

Cons:

We weren’t able to invest much in Dexterity, meaning your AC can be a problem if you’re playing to character. Barkskin uses your concentration, and wearing medium armor isn’t super flavorful.

Speaking of, like most rangers you have problems with Concentration. Your con saves aren’t great, and you have a lot of spells vying for the same position.

While you can do consistent, decent damage, it’s damage that takes time to ramp up. You need a turn for hunter’s mark and a different turn for slayer’s prey, and that’s assuming HM stays up the entire time.

#D&D 5e #Fate Grand Order #FGO #Enkidu #Fate and Phantasms #Ranger

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perkynurples · 5 years ago

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... May I ask you about the slow excruciating progression from Meng Yao to Jiggy?

also paging @holdmycaffeine and @cadencekismet, who asked me for the very same, and @acutebird-fics, who is my partner in crime deep philosophical discussions about these characters, and a great deal of this messy essay is informed by those

Tl;dr: JGY is a multifaceted character and the author struggles not to lose her mind trying to find the right words to describe that. Literally every single point of this rant is up for discussion, begging for it even, so please don’t hesitate to engage me, but, like... tomorrow, maybe. After I sleep it off.

Meta I used or referenced: THIS ONE explaining how JGS deciding to give him the name GuangYao is all kinds of wrong | THIS ONE talking about the red bindi-like Jin forehead dots, among other things | THIS ONE about his capacity for evil and his own recognition thereof

Alright, without any fancy preamble, here goes. Honestly, whenever I think about JGY for more than three seconds, it becomes painfully evident that there are two wolves inside me at all times - one wants to spend tens of thousands of words exploring his narrative, his choices, his abilities and his failings, his capacity for violence as well as his capacity for love...

And the other one just likes to call him a gremlin in chief in a fancy hat, and doesn’t want to go much further than that. I’m going to try and feed them both.

The thing that pisses me off about Meng Yao is just. The fact that he doesn’t stay Meng Yao, and we get to watch it happen in slow motion. You get a tiny little twink-ass kid who suddenly finds himself adopted into the Nie by the Sect Leader himself, and this is Meng Yao, the son of one of Jin Guangshan’s many mistresses, who doesn’t have a whole lot going for him aside from that, at that moment - his cultivation, weak. His opportunities, nonexistent. His dick, small. His political savvy, only just starting to show itself.

And this guy gets the chance of a lifetime presented to him on a Qinghe-silver platter. Like, we can argue about book canon and try and decide if he did anything at all to make NMJ notice him, but show canon makes it all the more hilarious (again, please refer to this gem of a post for a level of humor I’m sorely incapable of) - you’re seventeen, and the Batman of the cultivation world picks you up and elevates your status across swathes of societal norms, to a level you previously could have only dreamed of.

It’s interesting to me to try and imagine if this was the moment that Meant Something - in the grand scope of things, of course it did, because it started MY on the road to JGY, but also to Meng Yao personally, in terms of what he believed he could comfortably achieve. I do not for a second believe he started out wanting to murder people to reach his goal, or that he even had a good goal to begin with - being accepted by his father, maybe. Murdering the (at the time) greatest villain in the world, becoming a renowned spy, landing an incredibly beneficial sworn brotherhood, et cetera et cetera? I mean, the kid has wet dreams, but no way do they reach this far at this point in his life.

But so many things about him are unclear. Show canon changes his timeline, in that he met NMJ before he met Lan Xichen, and even accompanied NHS to the Cloud Recesses. Either way, his stint with the Nie is incredibly personally important to him. I firmly believe he loved and admired them, in his own way. He certainly flourished under NMJ’s tutelage and approval, but in the end, his motivations, his entire raison d’etre, clashed with NMJ’s too much. To Meng Yao, who’d gotten kicked down those infamous Koi Tower stairs for daring to ask for his father’s attention, murdering a guy for slandering him and his mother was a natural outcome of being slandered his entire life, and finally having had enough - to NMJ, it was unforgivable.

But this still isn’t where Meng Yao becomes Jin Guangyao, and it begs the goddamn question - how much of what JGY was perfectly willing and capable of doing to stay in power, had been present in Meng Yao that entire time? You see him make excuses that someone who isn’t NMJ, with his incredibly staunch morals and black-and-white view of the world, might have even accepted, but instinctively, you know - making excuses is just how it’s going to be with this guy.

Because Meng Yao, as well as Jin Guangyao, lies, and he is damn good at it. He is so good at it, that he lies his way to the very top of the Wen, all the way to Wen Ruohan’s side. His lying is what enables him to become Jin Guangyao. And like any good liar, he doesn’t only lie to the people around him - he also lies to himself.

And I can’t blame him, because - been there. Lying to yourself becomes absolutely necessary, when you want to keep everyone else around you believing in a mask you wear. You need to start believing it, at least a little bit, at least sometimes, for it to work.

At this point, you’re probably wondering - but Annie, what about the time he spent a year sheltering Lan Xichen? Did he lie then? Was he not just Meng Yao, a poor but cunning bookkeeper, then? I’m getting there, I swear. Slowly and in a roundabout sort of way, because honestly, I don’t know how I can start talking about the LXC of it all, without it turning into a novel.

Because whichever way you twist it, whatever canon you choose to follow, one constant remains - A-Yao’s feelings for Lan Xichen. I’m deliberately not calling him Meng Yao or Jin Guangyao, because it’s these feelings that divide the two, but also ultimately unify them, fatally so. But we’ll get there.

In one version of events, Meng Yao travels to Cloud Recesses at the behest of NMJ, and falls in love with a statue made of jade there. In another version of events, they meet during something LXC only describes as ‘the shame of a lifetime’. Both of those events lead to Meng Yao sheltering LXC, hiding him, saving his life and those precious Gusu Lan texts.

Whatever version of events you choose to see as the right one, one other truth also remains - Lan Xichen offers freely and without asking that which Meng Yao has had to struggle to attain, that which has been denied to him time and time again, based only on the circumstances of his birth: respect. Lan Xichen never looks down on him, never brings up his origins, and instead extends him respect and dignity in a way only he is capable of - no fucking wonder Meng Yao admires him. No fucking wonder, when this amazing guy, this perfect pristine handsome number one young cultivator, looks at him, smiles at him, and actually sees him, son of a whore or not.

No fucking wonder Meng Yao loves him, and Jin Guangyao continues loving him. No fucking wonder he never means to hurt him, but does so anyway.

But here’s the thing - lying to yourself to make things work only gets you so far. Do I think Meng Yao spends restless nights in cold sweat dreading who he’s becoming, thinking about all the lives he’s taken to further his goals? Absolutely not. Do I think he does good things, often even great things, because it helps him feel better about himself? Do I think he both loves Xichen and keeps him around because it’s beneficial to him, having the Lan Sect Leader in his pocket, but also personally speaking, having someone who so firmly believes in the goodness in him? You bet your overly adorned murderhat I do.

And frankly, reducing Jin Guangyao to one or the other - coldblooded murderer or a man plagued by his own insecurities, helpless and trying to be kind in a world that’s so evidently against him - is doing a character like him a huge disservice. You have to consider all sides, if you want to truly understand him. Hell, I myself am by no means claiming to truly understand him! He pisses me off daily, and I’m writing this stream-consciousness-y thing because he simply won’t shut up in my head.

This kid makes Choices, and here’s the catch - he doesn’t regret a whole lot of them. If anything, I’d like to think he regrets going along with his father’s plans for so fucking long before finally realizing that avenue won’t bring him what he seeks. Killing Jin Guangshan, by the way? Very sexy of him, that I’ll admit. Guy was a pig.

But even the obviously Good Choices he makes? Building those damn watchtowers? Letting Mo Xuanyu stay at Koi Tower? Seating Qin Su by his side at that same throne where his shitty father entertained concubine after concubine? (Frankly, please make up your own mind as to whether he was lying or telling the truth about learning about Qin Su being his sister before or after they’d consummated their marriage, I’m choosing to believe that he hadn’t known.)

How much of it really happens out of the goodness of his own heart, and how much of it happens because he wants to improve his own reputation, kintsugi away the minuscule cracks in his own image until he’s once again a perfect picture of Jin gold? Is he himself even capable of telling the difference, recognizing where his good intentions end and his desire to look out for number one begins? When you spend so much time crafting your own perfect mask, in your own head as well as others’, the lines blur real fast.

I think ultimately, he craves respect as much as he does pity, and those two never mesh well - the cultivation world never truly accepts him, his father certainly never truly accepts him, but Jin Guangyao is not Wei Wuxian, he can’t just look at all of these perceived injustices and slights, all of this gossip and slander, and say ‘Whatever’. No, Meng Yao takes one look at the world standing against him so very vehemently, and decides to fight it, fight tooth and nail for his place in it, until he comes out Jin Guangyao on the other side, gilded and pristine, ascending the stairs of Jinlintai to exact his revenge on anyone who dares not accept him.

The Guanyin Temple, in a way, is a perfect little vignette of his character - we observe him wildly oscillating between seeking out the aforementioned respect and pity, confessing boldly and laughing loudly one second, and pleading on his knees and clutching onto Lan Xichen’s robe the next. To him, that night, and everything leading up to it, is a series of footholds - the ground begins crumbling under his feet when he learns of the letter, and he has to act fast.

He buys himself time, excuse after excuse, thinking on his feet, and here’s the thing - he’s not necessarily the best at that. Anymore. Up until that point, until the letter and Qin Su and WWX turning up, everything is going according to plan, and his plan at this point is, frankly, correct me if I’m wrong, sitting pretty at the top of his golden tower and making sure the truth about him never comes to light, which... Well, we all know the truth has a nasty way of coming around when it’s least convenient for you.

And I think Jin Guangyao (not Meng Yao) is, at that point, unused to being inconvenienced. Everything he ever does, he calculates, he twists the public opinion of himself, he twists individual people’s opinions of himself, to suit him - nothing unexpected ever happens anymore, because he’s played the game long enough to foresee most things. Nie Huaisang beats him at that same game, not because he has a huge plan spanning decades of his own, but because he’s good at improvising, kicking the hornet’s nest and then knowing where to direct the fallout - but that is another essay all of its own waiting to happen.

For now, I feel like I need to wrap this up before I lose my mind. Personally (and please feel free to challenge me on this any time), I don’t feel like there’s a single defining moment, or even a handful of them, traumatic or otherwise, that irrevocably turns Meng Yao into Jin Guangyao. Sure, being kicked down the literal stairs leading to a better place for you a handful of times will have you feeling some kind of way. Sure, serving a maniacal warlord while playing an impossibly high-stakes game of spy poker will leave a mark or two. Sure, your sworn brother spitting in your face the very insults you’ve been hearing your whole life and never learned to shake off, will make one more vestige of patience inside you irrevocably crumble to smithereens. But.

Your whole life, you work very, very hard. You know to put your head down and get your hands dirty, but you also know that sometimes, the best way out of a hairy situation is turning on those puppy eyes and appearing just a smidgen weaker, a smidgen more frightened and helpless, than you actually are. And if, when you actually tell the truth and people still don’t believe you, lying becomes easier, becomes, eventually, so easy it feels as natural as breathing? Well. Might as well use that particular skillset to sneak your way through a war, am I right? Might as well use it to build yourself a nest among the very vultures who resent you, and whom you resent, and make sure that they have to respect you.

In the end, to me? Jin Guangyao is the guy who jumps from person to person, from callout to very personal callout, there in the Guanyin Temple, just to stall for time, just to regain some sort of foothold in the situation - he’s the guy who probably views losing an arm as a necessary sacrifice, shakes it off and still gets to work from there.

Meng Yao is the guy who wants to take his mother with, and who asks Lan Xichen the one question he’s dreaded knowing the answer to his entire life - not ‘will you stay and die with me?’, but the one that hides beyond that.

Is this what devotion is? Respect? Love? Is there, at this moment in time, enough of all of those things in your heart that you will, in fact, stay and die with me?

When Lan Xichen says yes, without words but still loudly enough to be understood without a doubt, Meng Yao is relieved, while Jin Guangyao is vindicated.

When Lan Xichen says yes, neither version of A-Yao needs to hear any more than that - the seventeen-year-old boy shooting a shot way above his station and loving a statue made of jade, who wants Lan Xichen to survive, and the man wearing the wrong name and the title of the first Chief Cultivator of his generation, who wants Lan Xichen to live with the weight of all his mistakes and misgivings, are both, for once, in accord. They’re both happy, and they both make that final push to save him.

In conclusion, if there even is one to this jumble of random thoughts... Jin Guangyao and Meng Yao are one and the same. Aspects of one can be found in the other, but neither feels remorse about his choices. Both of them, in turn, are capable of amazing things. Both of them are, in fact, capable of decidedly horrible things. One builds a wall around the other so thick, so impenetrable, you only catch glimpses, and only the ones he allows you to see. One learns very quickly that vulnerability is dangerous, unless employed proactively, and the other one perfects the craft.

Both of them believe they are perfectly justified in their actions. Both of them believe their own line of reasoning, their own excuses. Both of them want to be loved, for very different reasons, or for the very same ones, at the end of the day.

Both of them aspire to greatness, Meng Yao some vague idea of it instilled in him by his mother teaching him to believe his own worth, Jin Guangyao a more concrete vision of it, always one step ahead, one step higher up those gilded stairs. Both of them are willing to excuse a whole lot to reach it, too.

And when Jin Guangyao finally stands in Koi Tower, properly this time, wearing that coveted golden peony, wearing that red zhushazhi and a much nicer version of the hat his mother always told him to wear, but also wearing the wrong fucking name, one that barely gives him a spot in the family he belongs to by blood?

All he needs to do is take one look in the mirror to see Meng Yao staring back, always there with him, always ready to remind him where he came from. He’s seventeen years old, and he just buried his mother, and somewhere out there, the rest of his life awaits. His smile is all dimples, and that, too, they have in common.

Time to get to work, Meng Yao suggests, and Jin Guangyao agrees.

#jin guangyao #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #so this is..... a thing.#honestly I'm. i can't say that eloquence was my primary goal here #can't really even be sure WHAT the primary goal was #but this is now a thing that exists so take it off my hands I suppose #while I go make some hot chocolate and think of bunny rabbits and rainbows for a while #to cleanse my palate #Anonymous #ask #jgy #my meta

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mzt1418 · 4 years ago

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Ok so like. I know given the current state of the manga it would be a kinda difficult thing to imagine, at least as far as chasing this concept to said current state of the manga, but I would absolutely love, and I mean LOVE. A Land of the Lustrous video game. Let me explain;

So to start, the game itself would be an open world game. There would be the starting area of the continent the gems live on, another area later up that would open as the Ocean area where the Admirabilis live, and the Lunar area where the Lunarians live. These areas can basically be reconstructed straight out of the manga for alot of detailed environments and great explorative possibility.

Now for gameplay. So I want all the gems to be playable. All of them. You can switch between characters freely from the overworld by interacting with them and there’d be a menu with the option to do that character’s side missions either as that character or with them as your partner while playing a different gem. They’d also have an option for talking, to give dialogue and character interactions. Phos would of course be needed for story missions and progression, but all the other characters would have their own plot missions associated with them and so forth. The more you interact, the more you know the characters and then we’d actually get to know these characters even more??? Imagine the dialogue possibilities???

As for some combat basics. Each gem would have different stats in battle based on their hardness and toughness, with those stats affecting their movement speed, damage output, health, and defense. Gems like Yellow Diamond would be fast, and has high defenses, but has a lower damage output and overall health bar, the latter traits being shared between other diamonds.

These stats could be augmented by visiting the school, where you can go to one of the rooms and talk to Red Beryl, who could make you different clothes for you to wear on different gems that would affect their stats just slightly. Like she can make you Antarcticite’s heels that affect your movement speed, or the sleeping kimono that would affect your defense. In the same fashion, you can talk to Obsidian and get a different weapon. The weapons would have unique shapes that give different attributes, one especially important one being weight, which would determine which gems could use which weapons based on their toughness. For instance, she could make rainbow Diamond’s chipped sword, which can parry projectiles more effectively in battle, but has less damage, or Phos’ light sword, which gives high movement speed and slightly boosted base health, but lower damage output.

Now for the actual mechanics of missions and battles. So missions would take place fighting the Lunarians. Mostly. Each mission would have you start as X gem and your partner, a CPU or second player that would start on one point of whichever area map you’re on. On a different point of the map is the entrance point of the Lunarians. You’ve got to navigate the terrain and make your way to the Lunarian Boss, while fighting horde instances of Lunarian foot soldiers of different kinds, a~la Bayonetta/Devil May Cry. When you get to the boss of the mission, you enter an arena-like encounter where fight off Lunarians while jumping up to the main body and attempting to cut it up enough to get it to flee, or else wait for Adamant, who will arrive if you hold out long enough without dying or killing it.

There would be more challenging encounters as you get further in the game, with different kinds of sunspots appearing for bosses with different attacks or multiple sunspots with progressively harder hold-out times. This gives room to kinda shape mission parameters pretty freely, with the starting area affecting the route and arrival time of your party to the lunarian emergence scene. The gems fighting style would be based upon the weapon they’re using, not the gem itself, again a-la Bayonetta, with sweeping sword attacks for bigger weapons and leaping acrobatics for lighter weapons, with different weapons getting different/better bonuses depending on the gem using them. If you die, you don’t lose that gem, some missions that aren’t story important may let you simply pick up as different gems and try to continue the mission, giving you a timer to make it to the Lunarians and stopping them from taking your friends. If they do succeed and take the gem, you have to fight through the particularly difficult Lunarian area to get them back. This way, we don’t have a revolving door of characters, and can have a fixed cast for the game.

Now for some miscellaneous other things about the gameplay and story. A game like this has alot of unique opportunities. One of which would be a player character. You could choose between different strains of gemstone, which would basically be representing the categories of toughness and hardness, then pick a color, and get a gemstone character out of it. Based on the gem strain, you can change your starting stats. You could choose from different designs from hair to starting clothing and voices, then go through a quick gameplay tutorial where you’re introduced to Adamant and the other gems at the school. The other gems would still be playable, but now you have a character you can also mess with, and experience a unique story outside the manga or anime’s narrative, and get to know the history of the gems more, with gameplay taking place in any of the MANY extreme timeskips. A timescale could even be established where as you start a mission, it gives you a timestamp as to where in the 1000 year period of the game’s story you are.

Another customization option for a PC: before missions, you could talk to Zircon for temporary changes to the actual inclusions of your gems, like having her add gold for a mission so you can have much higher defense and damage output, but an extreme drop to speed and overall health, or having your legs augmented with different gemstones to do the same. Missions could vary, like during winter you can help destroy the Ice Flows, which is an environmental hazard enemy. You could also help search for materials that are used for weapon crafting or cloth making or gem enhancement, or even searches for an animal or plant for an in-game compendium, like the one Phos was supposed to make. In the same way, enemies could also be varied, and show us different types of Lunarian weapons and soldiers and things that they’ve done to try and get to Adamant. Between missions, you can visit Alexandrite and see the whole record of enemies you’ve faced, and she’ll have details about weak points and helpful tips and tricks for fighting them and such.

And of course all of the mission and dialogue and customization options don’t have to be locked to the manga or anime, because it’s a game!! You could add promotional material or things we haven’t seen in those two media, which would add so much personality to an already amazing story. I just think there’s alot of possibilities for a HnK game and I really want one.

#Houseki no Kuni #Land of the Lustrous #Idea I guess

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thesims4blogger · 4 years ago

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The Sims 4 Paranormal Stuff: Developer Blog (Part 2)

SimGuruConnor has released part 2 of the Sims 4 Paranormal Developer Blog series.

Welcome back to another dev blog about our latest Stuff Pack! This week let’s talk about the Seance Table, Paranormal Investigator Career, and an interview with our Art Director!

So let’s just get right into it!

Thanks Doctor Ashely for this horrifying scene.

Seances for Everyone!

The Seance Table is here! Talk to ghosts! Scare your friends! Summon the unexpected! This thing is capable of all sorts of spiritual meddling, and functions on any lot!

Your Seance Table can be decorated too! It’s a table surface, so feel free to put a Crystal Ball on top, or maybe a Sacred Candle? Slot any chair you want too!

When you use a Seance Table you’ll develop your Medium Skill, unlocking new Seances, the ability to host Group Seances, and the ability to draw chalk Seance Circles anywhere in the world! And if you’re a Spellcaster Sim, you’ll gain skill much faster due to your familiarity with the mystical arts. This skill and the Seance Table are available for Children and older too!

One of the main purposes of the Seance Table is to perform a ceremony that strengthens the spiritual serenity of the house, making it a little less creepy. However, if the Seance is interrupted for any reason, it might have the adverse effect, so make sure your Sims are protected (Hint: Sacred Candles!).

Seance Circles for the Medium on-the-go.

Other Seances include the ability to commune with the dearly departed. Hopefully, they’ll offer some sagely wisdom, or perhaps they’ll just insult you. Who knows? Great for parties.

Or if you’re really looking to stir up some trouble, you can also invoke spirits from the Seance Table too. Kind of like a ghostly grab bag, just reach in and pull out something deceased. A great way to spice up any lot, or completely ruin it. Honestly, this Seance isn’t entirely recommended, but since when has that stopped anyone?

Bonehilda!

Bonehilda is back! She’ll clean, fix your electronics, garden, fight fires, lay out snacks, and more! Summon her on the Seance Table or Seance Circle whenever or wherever you need her!

She’ll also be your buddy! As long as your Sims don’t mind being around a fully sentient skeleton that is, but I hear they’re pretty open-minded. Bonehilda won’t ask for anything in return either, she’s just here to have a good time.

Summoning Bonehilda is extremely useful while living in a Haunted House, she can help take care of the place while your Sims are preoccupied with other pressing matters. Bonehilda also has a great protective instinct, and will swiftly and enthusiastically show harmful Ghosts the door (with her fists of course).

Paranormal Investigators Wanted

The last feature I’d love to talk about is the Paranormal Investigator Freelance Career. This career is kinda special, and only available for elite Sims with a Paranormal Investigator License. Sims can get the License by becoming a master Medium and becoming certified by Guidry, or by purchasing one in the Reward Store.

A properly certified Paranormal Investigator.

This career is aimed for Sims who have mastered the paranormal and will have to use everything they’ve learned while living in a Haunted House to their advantage.

The gigs for this career are pretty straightforward. You’ll be sent 3 gigs to choose from, either an Easy, Normal, and Hard Investigation. Once you select your preferred difficulty, you’ll be instructed at 9:30 pm to go out on an investigation to an undisclosed location.

Where will the investigation take you? Anywhere! (Well any residence at least!)

Sometimes the Packcakes will have a bit of a Specter infestation, sometimes Goth manor will need an exorcist. It’s your job as a Paranormal Investigator to go wherever the action is, and snuff out any unwanted spirits.

You also won’t just be sent to premade Sim houses, but also your own created households! Your other played Sim families might be in need of a spooky exterminator too! And don’t worry, the house won’t be permanently haunted either (You’ll have control over that with the Haunted Lot Type!).

Finishing these gigs on time leads to all sorts of weird and strange rewards. Feel free to hang up your Specter-in-a-Jar as a trophy. Or amass a collection of exorcised dolls! There’s tons of strange stuff to acquire!

Since this is a freelance career, feel free to take these gigs whenever you feel inspired to snuff out some spookiness. These gigs can be demanding on your Sims psyche, but thankfully they pay fairly well.

Art Direction

This pack has a ton of both fictional and real-life inspiration. To go over where these influences come from, and how they manifest in-game, I’ll take it over to our Art Director Stephan Edwards!

Conor: Can you tell us what an Art Director does on The Sims 4?

Stephen: The AD works initially with Production, Design and Marketing to define the visual direction. Once we have moved into production their role is to maintain and inspire that vision by providing direction and feedback to artists, from concept through to the final asset.

Conor: What goes into the creative process when concepting for the Sims?

Stephen: Once the general theme and tone is locked down and approved, the team then refers to the key visuals and goes broad on gathering reference that reflects that direction. We begin on concepting out room views/clothing to investigate different narratives and moods, identifying elements of style, construction, pattern and color. At this stage, we are still working loose to make sure we explore all options and don’t box ourselves in. As the team iterates on designs, we start to narrow down the selections and then turn to final renders. We draw on those early investigations to help inform our palette, material and pattern choices.

Conor: What sort of real-life examples were used for the Paranormal Stuff Pack?

Stephen: Reference gathering is a huge factor in designing assets and so it’s fair to say that all the content is based on real life to some degree. The team tends to deconstruct styles and translate them through a SIMS lens, the simplified and stylised art of SIMS4 has a further impact on the final result.

Conor: If you had to choose, what was your favorite feature to work on across all of the Sims?

Stephen: Aaarg! That’s a really tough question. Because the packs are so diverse each one has its own set of unique challenges. I would say the supernatural aspect of this stuff pack was a lot of fun and allowed the artists to get a little more fantastical and creative. Storytelling is such a fundamental part of the SIMS and that permeates through CAS and BB designs. While curating all the eclectic pieces we stuffed into this pack I was constantly making up little stories in my mind. Where the characters may have found it, what relevance does it have to them and ultimately is there enough depth in the design to spark the same questions in the players. Oh, and Guidry, he’s a composite of eras and characters. I would be really interested whether the players can pick apart the influences.

Thank you!

That about concludes our look at our latest Stuff Pack! Big thank you again to the SP18 team, working with everyone was an amazing experience and made the later part of 2020 a little less awful. Watching this pack come to life was an absolute thrill.

The prepatch including the new Scared Emotion is coming out January 21st, and the Paranormal Stuff Pack comes out January 26th!

Until next time, SimGuruConor

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 paranormal #stuff pack

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willowistic22 · 4 years ago

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Famous!newsies

Ok so here are my famous!newsies headcanons from an a modern au i thought of if newsies were celebrities/famous yknow bcs I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and idk what to do with it other than making a headcanon list nabsnzbsvsnsbz anyways hope yall validate me after not posting any original content for like…. awhile now hehe

btw it got longer than expected. And I mean r e a l l y long. So if yall wanna read this better sit down and buckle up!

Jack

He’s an artist on youtube

Like a modern day bob ross ig??

If yall know zhc on youtube just imagine that but not so rich (I don’t watch zhc btw but i do know that he does custom art on iphones and stuff and that is definitely not jack kelly)

Anyways Jack simply goes by Jack Kelly.

So jack does art challenges. Like does the weirdest requests from his fans left in his comment section and stuff

Or maybe challenging himself to make art from a specific theme or a specific media

Sometimes he vlogs too but his art videos are what his fans like the most

His merch is amazing because he designed the pattern/drawing/whatever yknow. It’s printed/sewed/whatever on the clothing and it’s good quality. It’s pretty lowkey for a youtuber’s merch bcs jack doesn’t like those merch that just smacks his logo on a hoodie

Davey

He’s a fantasy, YA, romance writer (he mixes it wisely ok?)

And goes by David Jacobs

Listen he’s a hopeless romantic and i’m pretty sure yall agree too

He wanted to stick to YA romance. The classic high school lovers yknow

But he wanted to challenge himself since he’s been writing about high school lovers since he was in high school

Thus the fantasy genre came in mind

So yeah he likes creating love in his own universe

Whether it’d be different worlds, universe, species, time periods, whatever.

He wanted to direct the movies based on his books, but he’s actually lowkey terrible at leading on his own. But he did stick to being the script writer and co-director (look idk how it works in the film industry i’m just making shit up)

Crutchie

He’s a solo jazz singer

Crutchie gives off Michael Buble and Jason Mraz vibes tho

And maybe a bit of frank sinatra? Yknow ‘cause he sings jazz

Also he riffs thank you very much :)

He goes by Crutchie Morris to everyone

He usually plays the acoustic guitar or piano on stage

Ok but he’s like really good with the piano

Makes the best jokes on stage too. Some are just sarcastic comments.

Crutchie asking through the microphone : “Oh, straight?”

A fan he’s talking to from the crowd : “Uhh… no, gay”

Crutchie : “no not you, the vodka”

Everyone at the concert : *laughs*

Crutchie, jokingly : “Oh, you’re drinking vodka! Straight? No gay”

(yes that was indeed inspired by that one video of Harry Styles and a fan in one of his concerts yall can’t stop me)

Kathrine

She’s a crime mystery writer

Think like the modern day Agatha Christie

Okok but she goes by Kathrine Plumber on her books :D

She chooses that genre bcs she’s a huge fan of Agatha Christie

Her favorite book from Agatha is Murder on the Orient Express

Oh and her books are sometime very gruesome alkjsfhakjsfb

Nobody check her browsing history, she’ll look like a murderer

Ok but I feel like she also has a youtube channel about books and stuff and sometimes like to vlog

She also has a writing tips series on her channel where she shares tips on some of the frequently asked questions about writing or her fans leave a specific question in the comment section and thought she could expand more to it in a full length video

Also she likes to vlog while she’s in a book convention

Her books are also turned into movies and she has done a great job directing it

Race

Yall would be lying to me if you don’t think this kid would end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber (like vlogging yknow. I feel like his gaming stuff would strictly be on twitch)

And ik it’s widely agreed by everyone in the fandom that he’s a dancer of some sort so yeah he’s also simultaneously a dancer

I don’t think I need to explain any further bcs it’s just so in character

He goes by Racetrack Higgins

Ok so he likes to vlog on his youtube channel

Sometimes does stupid challenges

Maybe he’d drag Albert to do a challenge which he always says no

“I’ll just be your cameraman dude, dw”

Race : *angery*

Since Al and Smalls are the skateboard peeps™ race is the rollerblade dude™ bcs I say so

He has three cats named Racecat Higgins, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow (i’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again hehe) and his fans loves them endlessly

Albert

You don’t think this kid would also end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber like his bestie up there?? Lmao you thought wrong (again, gaming is strictly on his twitch)

He just goes by Albert DaSilva on the internet

And yes he’s also a dancer because I say so

On his Youtube channel he also vlogs

Half of his vlogs starts with him riding his skateboard

“Hey, guys! Welcome back to another vlog-” *falls off his skateboard for not paying attention to a curb*

It happens way more often than he’d like to admit let’s be real. His fans make a compilation of it and memes on reddit

Always wear a snapback

Snapbacks are an important element to him so his merch store is really boosting his snapbacks

And just for the wormsie discord server he has one with the word ranga on it after it being born from a stupid inside joke he, race, and both of their fanbases combined share (@ my wormsie fam thank me later)

Oh yeah, his youtube besties are Race and Smalls just so we’re clear here :) (I’ll get to Smalls in a bit)

So I always headcanon Albert having two big dobermans. So his fans always want to see a doggy update because Zara and Zoey are everything to them.

Doggo vlogs are fun. It’s usually Albert taking the two good girls to Central Park for playtime or teaching them new tricks

Spot

He’s a solo rock singer

Is an amazing singer like wow none of the newsies expected him to have that sort of pipes to reach high notes

And he does it amazingly with no sweat

Also his instrument is the electric guitar to go with his amazing singing ajsfhasjfhajhf

Anyways he goes by Spot Conlon still

And his songs are very lyrical. Like very.

A lot of metaphors. No one knows what most of his songs means.

So basically Taylor Swift songs if it switched genres to rock. And not even like songs from speak now or red. But like if evermore and folklore songs were to turn into rock songs with a little bit of reputation vibes sprinkled on top. And his concerts has the reputation era vibes but make it spot conlon (hey non swiftie fans reading this i’m so sorry i’m pretty sure yall don’t understand wtf i’m talking abt)

That is also the only way i know to describe his vibe i’m sorry but i don’t really listen to a lot of rock alkjhfasjk

Anyways it’s a known fact that he wears tank tops daily that it becomes his signature look. And also an inside joke among his fanbase

Now just picture the merch booth from one of his shows and there’s like endless tank top designs for his fans to pick and choose

He’s also crowned to be the King of Brooklyn bcs of obvious reasons

But the joke is he’s a pretty tough hardcore guy that’s a cat person

Sarah

She’s a badass female solo singer

Mostly does pop but the badass type of pop

Yes, she does go by Sarah Jacobs

Fans were really surprised Davey and Sarah are related

Because one is a hopeless romantic while the other is a total badass

Anyways she gives off Little mix, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez vibes

That is literally the only way I can describe it

She’s very lyrical, with a lot of metaphors

When she dances on stage, she d a n c e s

All while holding a mic to sing. And she hits all those high notes like it’s no ones business (a literal queen i tell you)

She and Spot are besties and has been known to have done a few collabs together

Their fans were hesitant about their collabs since their genre is pretty different from the other but they make it work and it slAPS

And among all her boppy songs with full choreography and backup singers, she always have a few songs she sings while only being accompanied by piano or guitar (Either electric or acoustic) which she plays on her own

Finch

He’s an indie pop artist with his trusted acoustic guitar by his side

Just think of music by Wallows and Lewis Capaldi were to be blended in together and Conan Gray for the cherry on top

But it has a little bit of Ed sheeran, Lorde, and Lauv vibes to it too

His concerts are simple but his songs are mostly very boppy so his fans still have fun either way

And it’s usually in small venues but there are times where he had a concert in a huge stadium

He goes by FINCH (yeah all caps btw)

Finches are a very on brand thing for him obviously

Has been known to collab with Crutchie and they actually make a very good team

Somehow was able to combined both genres to produce a few boppy songs

Ok ok but Finch and Crutchie have made a collaborative album (and maybe they went on tour????)

Specs

He’s a history fiction writer

Yes this is inspired by the fact that he’s 100% a history nerd (no one change my mind i love this headcanon aight)

And he explores a lot of different histories from different parts of the world

He actually helps a lot of students understand history even further for school through his novels

Anyways he goes by Specs because I say so

No one knows why that’s his pseudonym and Specs isn’t interested in explaining either. No one other than the newsies need to know it was born from a stupid nickname the newsies gave him :)

His research mostly comes from history books because of his genre which wouldn’t be a problem since he has loads and will voluntarily buy more if needed

Also yeah he makes a great director for the movies taken from his books

Mush

He’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Mush Meyers

So think if Gordon Ramsey and his youtube channel but make it mush

Yeah that’s it really

Ok but Mush is a jolly and friendly person

Other than just food vlogging he does cooking challenges and cooking tips too

Sometimes he does the cooking challenges with a friend (mostly henry but i’ll get to him later on in the list)

But he also vlogs his life

Which isn’t really often but he likes to sometimes

He’s that big of a foodie he has a food blog too

And also a seafood restaurant so that’s cool :D

Henry

Like Mush, he’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Henry on the internet and in general

Ajkfhajfjska I’m thinking about how ppl would address him as Chef Henry kajhfkjlashfjklasfjklsf

He mostly does the same thing like Mush actually

Food vlogging and cooking challenges (they do it together so) sometimes cooking tips

But Henry vlogs his life a lot

And instead of a food instagram he has a food blog

He has a sandwich restaurant

Yeah it is inspired by his pastrami on rye with a sour pickle line from KONY get mad about it why don’t ya (well if i’m not mistaken henry was the one that said it but idk i have horrible memory)

Blink

He’s a youtuber

Ok so I have a specific headcanon that Blink majored in psychology but didn’t end up being a psychologist

So instead he becomes a psychologist on youtube

Who often vlogs jhgasjlfhs

The guy looks like he could cut you but his sense of humor once you get him talking is just *chef’s kiss* amazing

Which is why he also has a podcast because he’s also secretly great at talking

He just thinks mental health is very important, okay?

Romeo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has worked with Hollywood before

He’s usually a supporting character but has been known to understudy for main characters

Ok ik these bullet points are getting shorter and shorter but these are mostly bcs some of these stuff are pretty self explanatory since it’s very in character

Like are you telling me a kid named Romeo isn’t gonna be in some way very dramatic and end up turning that personality trait into his career?? Plus he’s very good at that?

Yeah you’re lying to me

Also he’s a pretty frequent vlogger on youtube

Look he’s a fun guy, what did you expect?

Just goes by Romeo on youtube

Elmer

He’s an actor

Has done his fair share in Broadway and Hollywood but started in Broadway

He can dance but thinks he’s pretty average in it yknow

Which his fans has no idea what he’s talking about because on stage he can do flips and turns like it’s no ones business yknow

But he can sing really good and takes pride in it

Elmer would play characters that is really far off from his own personality that fans couldn’t believe that Elmer played that character

He has done his fair share in main characters and supporting characters on Broadway

In Hollywood he usually does indie and rom-com movies

Buttons

He’s a fashion youtuber and basically an influencer

Let’s be real this boy is a fashion icon

He’s not really a model but more like a fashion influencer and also kind of a fashion designer

His clothing line is very *chefs kiss* amazing

He designed it all and sometimes likes to design for his friends as well

He also does fashion tips on his youtube channel

His instagram game is god tier level (along with Tommy Boy and Sniper I’ll get to them in a bit)

But yeah he also vlogs

And goes by Buttons Davenport

Jojo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has done a few movies in Hollywood

He radiates main character energy and he does become the main character most of the time (on hollywood at least)

On Broadway he mostly enjoys being apart of the ensemble because this boy loves dancing

But he does play a few supporting characters

He has released one or two albums too because his singing is top tier

But isn’t interested in doing a lot of live concerts with his albums

Since no one has the time to say Josephino Jorgelino De La Guerra he turned it into Jojo De La Guerra (so much for ‘a special nickname only for friends and family’)

Mike and Ike

They’re a pop boy band and bcs of my lack of creativity it’s called Mike and Ike

At the start of their career :

“My name goes first because I’m older than you!” - Mike

“You’re only older than me by 13 minutes, holy shit!” - Ike

But Ike slowly accepts the fact that it’ll be like this yknow

Anyways they’re pretty great singers

They have one direction and new hope club vibes

Tho unlike one direction they can dance (i love the boys alright but i really think it’s funny that they can’t dancelkhjjlh)

They like to switch from the guitar (electric and/or acoustic) to the piano

The amount of times their name is confused by the candy is too many

But they like it like that lol

Anyways i’ve mentioned a headcanon where Mike has tattoos (not like from head to toe but it’s fairly noticeable to everyone) and Ike has piercings

So the only way their fans tell them apart is by that

But there are times where Mike has his tattoos covered or Ike took his piercings off in public alone. A fan mistakens them for the other twin but they still respond to the other name because they don’t feel like there’s a need to correct them since they’re mostly known by Mike and Ike anyways. When the fan posts it on instagram and tags the twin they thought it was the twin that was tagged would comment “wrong twin but nice pic you two”

Happens wayyyyy too many times. Their fans are officially scared to approach one of the two in public alone without their differentiating indicators on which is which

And yes it is widely known that they argue a lot when it comes to writing songs

Nothing out of the ordinary sibling squabble yknow but it’s a lot

But they do end up finding a solution to the topic of their argument and make a good team at the end of the day

Hotshot

He’s an actor

On Broadway, he’s one of those actor’s that is mostly good in just the acting and singing

He can’t dance to save his life sjdfghaf

So Jeremy Jordan yknow asj;oghajshf

No not really. He can dance a little bit

So he’s mostly the main character

But he’s widely known for his works in Hollywood

He does a lot of drama. Think stuff like Elite and Designated Survivor. Yeah those kinds of heavy drama (well idk i think those two are pretty heavy)

He wants to release his own music because he’s a pretty good singer but he can’t write songs to save his life either jgnjafjasf

And all the demo songs he was suggested by producers isn’t his cup of tea

So he’s no singer ladies and gents ://

The name Hotshot is used to name his social media platforms. He always adds a description in his bio’s that Hotshot is a nickname his friends and family use so his fans and the media refer to him with his name

I headcanon Hotshot’s real name is Tyler or some sort. No don’t ask me what’s his last name is because idk either lol

Sniper

She’s a model, beauty and fashion youtuber (I’m pretty sure those are two different things tho idk i don’t watch youtube religiously anymore), and just an influencer in general

Instagram game on p o i n t

I know most beauty youtubers go by their names but uhh… i don’t think i’ve ever thought of a first name for Sniper but I really think she really would just go by Sniper Wah on the internet (Idk she seems like an Ashley in my head but feel free to recommend headcanon names to me)

Anyways she’s very fashionable

Tommy Boy (i’ll get to him just wait aight?) and Buttons are her fashion besties

The three of them pretty much appear in each other’s Youtube video not Tommy’s tho bcs he doesn’t have one lol

Sniper’s brand are huge sun hats

I have no idea how or why but that girl has sun hats vibes I can’t explain any further I’m sorry

Doesn’t have a clothing line but does have a make up brand of her own. She calls it Sniper. Yeah that’s it akjfhjf

Smalls

She’s a twitch streamer and youtuber like race and albert

They’re a youtube trio everyone loves it

And yes she does go by Smalls

Oh and she also dances like her two stupid besties thanks for asking

Bubblegum is her brand (idk how to explain she just has the vibe)

She is skateboard chick

I’m imagining a video collab of her and Al on a skatepark doing stupid challenges

It’s her most viewed video

Tommy Boy

Ok ok he’s a model, influencer, and dancer

So think a male version of Gigi Hadid that dances

No he doesn’t have a youtube channel but frequently has made an appearance on Buttons’ and Sniper’s videos

Yes his instagram feed is also very amazing

He goes by Tommy Boy

People genuinely thinking ‘Boy’ is actually his last name and kinda think it’s strange but doesn’t complain

Tommy literally didn’t think people would think it was his last name. But they did anyways

Les

Let’s just get straight to the point : he’s a famous tiktoker

And yes, ppl are surprised at the fact that him, Davey, and Sarah are related to each other

To the people that made it through this entire list. Congratulations and thank you for your validation. Have a wonderful evening and stay hydrated

i will write at least one oneshot out of this au i promise!!

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

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Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

#long nights #long nights playlist #bts long nights

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mustlovemustypages · 4 years ago

Text

Yuletide 2020 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I truly hope all is well with you and yours. No matter what state you find yourself in, my wish is that Yuletide boosts your spirits and gives you the extra jolt we all could use to usher in the new year.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and thank you in advance if you decide to write anything for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Little Women (2019):

Characters: Amy March and Theodore “Laurie” Laurence”

The main reason I adore this adaptation is because it made me see why Amy and Laurie ended up together. They had very similar worldviews and fit so well what the other needed. Both deserved to be with someone that valued them for who they are. With Laurie, Amy was not just financially secure but with someone who encouraged her to express herself creatively, politically, or however she chose. With Amy, while she grounded Laurie in reality and challenged him to be the best version of himself, he didn't have to fundamentally change to make her happy.

Story ideas:

These quotes really show how Amy's perspective on life was different than her sister's: "You are your family's hope." (Aunt March) "I’ve always known I would marry rich." (Amy March) That's a lot of pressure on someone so young. We heard some of Laurie's thoughts, mostly that he didn't think Amy should feel ashamed for wanting that. How would some of that pressure continue even after she got married, and what would Laurie say to make her realize they were in life together as a team and she didn’t have to suffer the weight of the world alone?

The conversation between Amy and Laurie in the painting studio showed just how level-headed and intelligent she was. Laurie, while not wholly agreeing, was respectful and didn't discount her thoughts. It would be interesting to see the impact on their story if Vaughn hadn't arrived, and this had played out more. Would the proposal have happened earlier and/or how would later scenes be altered as a result of further conversation?

What did the other characters think of Amy and Laurie's relationship, and how did it change after seeing them interact more as a couple? It would be interesting to read about Meg, Marmee, John, or some of the other characters realizing they were genuinely a good match for each other.

Post-canon, I'd love to get a glimpse of what kinds of conversations they had. Did Amy encourage Laurie to pursue a career and find what he was passionate about (music perhaps as Laurie mentioned writing an opera)? And similarly, did Laurie encourage Amy to pursue her art? Did they continue to have in-depth conversations about societal pressures and expectations of gender in certain economic classes?

Tenet:

Characters: The Protagonist, Kat, and Neil

Tenet is the first movie I've seen in theaters since Star Wars IX. There have been some mixed reviews, but my love for Christopher Nolan sci-fi films combined with the experience of stepping foot in a theater again made it a wonderful experience for me. Sure, the plot could be confusing at times, but it was fun trying to fit certain puzzle pieces together and oh so thrilling when things just clicked into place in the most satisfying ways.

I adored the dynamic between Neil and the Protagonist. The easy friendship, the banter, the suits... everything. I also loved the relationship between the Protagonist and Kat. It started off as each using the other but transformed into one of genuine care on both sides. Ever the romantic, I definitely saw something more than just friendship between the two and was slightly disappointed the movie didn't explore that aspect more.

For pairings, I’m interested in friendships between all of the characters. I’d be interested in seeing a romantic relationship between Kat and the Protagonist if you’re up for that, but not between Neil and Kat, nor Neil and the Protagonist. If you really want to give a romantic partner to Neil, I'd be fine with Laura (or an original female character if she’s not the focus of the story), but please, no slash. While I’d be ecstatic to see all three characters together, if you can only find a way to fit in two, that’s wonderful as well!

Story ideas:

Even though Andrei Sator is gone, there are still other players in the game, some like Priya, who want to eliminate Kat or even abduct her with the delusional idea she can continue her husband's work. The Protagonist (and Neil, if you so choose) ensures no harm comes to her, and he realizes that keeping her at a distance may not have been the best idea.

I personally don't buy into the fan theory that Neil is Kat's son Max; however, I do find the idea intriguing and would be up for reading about how that worked. The Protagonist breaks his rule and sees Kat, helping to raise her son Max/Neil and eventually teaching him about inversion.

The Protagonist doesn't have to wait quite as long as he'd thought to see Neil again. It can be the Neil who had already met him and knows about Tenet or the Neil who knows nothing about inversion.

What conversations did Neil and Kat have while the Protagonist was asleep after almost freezing to death? Maybe Neil explained the finer workings of Tenet and inversion more in-depth. Perhaps they discussed the Protagonist.

Clueless:

Characters: Cher Horowitz and Josh Lucas

This movie set the bar high for teen romantic comedies. How can anyone ever beat 90s Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd? Plus, the relationship between their two characters is fantastic. Josh and Cher just bring out the best in each other. Cher shows Josh that he doesn't need to be so serious all of the time and that people are more than their outer appearances. Josh makes Cher want to be a better person, and he believes that she's not just a pretty face. Their banter and playful moments always make me smile.

Story ideas:

Knowing Josh and Cher end up together, this brings a heightened awareness to rewatches. They have so many casual touches and exchanged glances (when did Paul Rudd's eyes get so blue?) that it's hard to miss their natural chemistry. It may take quite some time for Cher's dad to notice anything has changed because they don't act all that different from before. Is there something that makes him finally take notice? How does he react?

Sort of related to the last prompt, there's a moment where Josh decides to go to the dance to keep an eye on Cher and Christian, and you can tell by Mel Horowitz’s smirk he realizes Josh has a crush on Cher. Does he do anything to push it along or play matchmaker just like his daughter?

I've always been curious about whether or not Josh believes Cher's story about being assaulted in the car by Elton and then held at gunpoint. We skip over Josh pulling up to the phone booth and go straight to Cher already being in the car. How did Josh react when she reiterated the story, and does he instantly believe her, or does it take some convincing? I'd like to see if he comforts her and if they both go together to tell Cher's dad what happened.

Cher is obviously very intelligent socially, if not always so much academically. When it comes time to apply for college, what does she major in? And how is Josh a positive influence in Cher's life, encouraging her to be ambitious and not letting negative comments from guidance counselors or teachers dissuade her?

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Little Women into a supernatural werewolf story or have Tenet take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND at least happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Happy writing and I hope you get the Yuletide gift of your dreams!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)

#little women #little women 2019 #amy x laurie #theodore laurence #laurie #amy march #tenet #the protagonist #neil #kat #clueless #josh x cher #cher horowitz #josh lucas #yuletide 2020 #yuletide letter #yuletide

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cartoon-savant · 4 years ago

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Ducktales "Let's Get Dangerous" Watch Ramblings

Okay, so. That was amazing.

WHO DID THIS!? WHAT MAD GENIUS SNIPED IN BONKERS!? I CAME TO THIS PARTY FOR SPECIFICALLY INFORMED FUN AND THEN THE HOST JUST THROWS GOLD AT MY FACE!!

- The episode feels like a proper dedication to everything Darkwing Duck. The atmosphere of St.Canard still feels like Gotham City so much. If Launchpad is doing double time moving between Duckberg daytime and St.Canard nighttime it’ll hold that vibe the city and DW have. But I can’t help but believe this is the start of his transition to St.Canard. The responsibilities may just be too big to juggle together. Also, this found family of Drake, Launchpad, and Gosalyn is just too good together. Like Launchpad creates a different vibe for himself when he’s with him. He just taps into a whole different side to care for and support them.

- So yeah, I’m glad Darkwing is still somewhat underappreciated in St.Canard since it didn’t seem like anyone knows about his efforts in the lab. Gizmoduck didn’t even make it halfway across the bridge into the city and gets all the credit. So now we get to see DW work towards that recognition he deserves.

- It was the best blending of nostalgia and new age. They drop a massive Easter egg in one of my favorite scenes, from one of my favorite episodes “A Whale of A Bad Time”, of my favorite story arc where Scrooge and Glomgold race to deliver their fortunes for weighing in a bet to win a lucrative contract. Also love the Fluppy Dogs shot-out. Wasn’t my jam but I gotta respect that attention given.

- F.O.W.L. involvement made the Missing Mysteries tie-in more logical. Huey is getting more involved here since this season is supposed to be this triplet’s turn in the spotlight. I bet this encounter spurs him into action now that F.O.W.L. is exposed to have interest in the mysteries. Speaking of exposed, poor Bradford. Like he would be more successful in his organized bureaucratic villainy if everyone who works for him didn’t revel in the theatrics.

- With Taurus Bulba falling out with F.O.W.L. it leaves me to believe he’ll stay in St. Canard to be a recurring villain for him. If he keeps the “Bulba’s Super Villain Solutions” thing I expect something like the Spectacular Spiderman animated series. Like Norman Osborn he’ll turn out villains for profit while acting behind the scenes and exploiting the chaos. Bonus points if his cybernetic enhancements keep coming in via collateral damage like with Major Bludd in G.I. Joe: Renegades. Since only Megavolt, Quackerjack, Liquidator, and Bushroot seem to be the only returning OG villains (aside from a couple of cool cameos from some C-Listers, haha) now the writers have a nice say in picking and choosing who gets rolled into the reboot reality. Negaduck is basically confirmed as a reboot villain now since they called themselves the Fearsome Four and Justice Ducks got a name drop but not who’s in it. Gizmoduck was a member but is here as a reboot character and they can just grab Neptunia, Stegmutt and Morgana. Real talk, they’ll probably redo all their designs but I hope we keep Morgana’s vibe close to her original which had such a wonderful goofy Elvira feel. Also let’s get a good Batman/Catwoman thing going.

- Bushroot’s redesign and dialogue silence may have been out of respect to his original voice actor Tino Insana’s passing, also the same year the Ducktales reboot came out. Everyone else is alive but the only reprised role was Michael Bell’s Quackerjack and everyone sounded great. Still hope he left like a seedling clone of himself behind so we can explore more of him.

- Gosalyn was well handled. I loved her reboot personality still feeling like OG but with more smarts and skill. Giving her skill with a crossbow was great (she gets a matching outfit and Huntress much) as well as leaning into the Batman & Robin parallels by making her a proper partner/sidekick, instead of a stubborn tag-along. I want to see her meet Webby because I feel like she will complete a certain dynamic. Webby is an all rounder being good with magic, quite smart and a top fighter. Webby doesn’t hold top mark in any particular area. Lena is basically becoming sorceress supreme and Violet is very intelligent and composed with her reading situations better than the others. So I want Gosalyn to be surprisingly good at keeping up with Webby in a fight.

The second other series that may actually get this kind of dedication in the reboot feels to me like Talespin.

- We have plenty of mentions of Cape Suzette and a Don Karnage. I say “a” because the Season 3 poster revealed what looked like an older Kit and Molly. This leads me to believe the OG Talespin adventures do take place decades prior to closer match the aesthetics of the OGand current era Karnage is a descendant. Della may have also learned to pilot from or was a fan of Baloo so that can be a good background to add to her character. I feel like Shere Khan will be a David Xanatos type character. He was already a fierce, morally ambiguous self serving businessman. But give him that Xanatos pizazz, keen intellect and foresight to make him be the sharpest of the sharpies that Scrooge will ever deal with.

- So all in all it was everything I didn’t know I wanted and gives me such joy for heights this show can reach being this successful in its ambition. I hope further inclusions from other Disney Afternoon characters will start building themselves up in this reboot just as well. I’m excited for more of the world explored from the sides of the Rescue Rangers and Goofy’s suburban slice of life. Oh, and of course cop/detective work from freaking Bonkers! Like this is how you know your reboot is in good hands. When you keep the appeal of and appreciate the old while introducing well defined new takes, bridging the gap between generations so everyone enjoys it. Man, I need that Animaniacs reboot right now.

#ducktales 2017 #darkwing duck #ducktales #launchpad mcquack #drake mallard #gosalyn mallard #disney afternoon #let's get dangerous

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green-and-grey-kenaz · 4 years ago

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Solace in Plato

Language: English

Characters: Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Chiron

Summary: With the now rather alarming prospect of actually reaching adulthood being a reality, Nico has agreed to tutoring under Chiron's guidance. When Plato is suggested as something to study, Nico is not impressed and avoids it. A few weeks later and Will Solace asks him whether he's actually read Plato or just an abridged version.

Just a little fic exploring their relationship and Nico's internalised issues with being gay.

Word Count: c. 2 500

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32634607

“I hate Plato.” Nico muttered, staring at the book placed in front of him as he sat in the library of the Big House. Having not had any formal education since the ‘30s, Chiron had taken it upon himself to help educate Nico should he wish to get exam results - which would be useful for getting a job or Athena believe it, going to University. Neither was a prospect that he had ever really considered possibilities but the alternative was staying here and helping out with the new recruits while Will went to University in a few years time or doing the same thing but in New Rome.

Because Will insisted that he wanted to help the world, not just demigods. Nico didn’t deserve him.

So he’d agreed to go along with this and when Chiron had asked him if there was any subjects he thought he might take at University (and after Nico had suggested undertaker, mortician or detective based on a TV show Will had told him about, don't ask) he had begrudgingly admitted that he had more than a passing interest in Classics. Try as he might, his childish obsession with mythomagic had left him with more than a passing knowledge of Classical characters and he got a strange, warm feeling in his chest when he knew the answer to ‘how do we kill this obscure monster’ and no one else did.

Based on these answers, he had a somewhat tailored learning with Classics in both Italian, English and the Original Ancient Greek (his Greek was amazing for his age - a by-product of being a half-blood - but apparently his English reading skills were that of a kid and his Italian not much better, Hades knew why) and more than his fair share of biology and chemistry. Will had been only too delighted to help him with the sciences, although was suspiciously absent when it came to physics and math, but that was OK, really, and he probably wouldn’t make a good mortician anyway because he shouldn’t pick careers based on how many spirits he could raise, tempting as it was. The rest of his schooling thought? That fell to Chiron.

And today? Well, apparently they had progressed onto Philosophy and a man who's work made Nico's stomach plummet. Plato.

“Why is that?” Chiron asked, a patient expression on his face. Nico just glowered at him but like Will, he seemed impervious to it. It was irritating when people did not cower and cave in to his glares. He was used to inspiring fear in others.

“Do I need a reason?” Nico his arms, leaning back on the chair, returning a dark gaze to the book as if he could cause it to wither and crumble under his gaze. If he could do it to food, why not books? Plato sat cheerfully happy there without so much as a speck of mold coming to grace it.

“When discussing philosophy, it can be rather helpful.”

“Well I just don’t like him. Pick some other philosopher.”

Chiron had stared at him for a good few seconds before relenting, choosing some other book and asking no further questions about it. Nico hated that he could feel just how his heart rate had picked up, thundering in his chest as if it would crack open his rib cage. He knew people suspected… that the people he tolerated as friends already knew and accepted him for his inclinations… for what he was… but he wasn’t ready to confront the proof that he was different. Wrong, a voice always threatened to whisper in his ear. An abomination. A freak of nature. Nico knew that he couldn't read Plato, not with Chiron standing there and dissecting the merits of this particular work. It was never easy to look in the mirror and see just how messed up you were.

Despite the time it took for his heart to return back to normal, he did manage the text they’d chosen and perhaps sensing his unease, Chiron had used it as a chance to work on his reading more than the philosophy. He even finished the lesson with a kind smile and was informed that his modern language skills had far approached where they should be for someone his age. This followed with a suggestion that he could go into translation work. It was tempting, he would be better able to hide away in a darkened room as a translator than becoming an academic (sadly, these days academics had more obligations to teach), so Nico nodded and promised to think on it.

Two weeks later found Nico sitting in the shadows of the forest while Will quizzed him on anatomy which counted as studying for both of them. Annoyingly Will was refusing to sit anywhere other than the sunlight and so had coerced Nico into what they had settled on as being called ‘a potential threat to his aesthetic’, or in other words, dappled shade. It had promised to be a rather lovely day until a topic best avoided reared its head.

“Why do you hate Plato?” Will asked suddenly, looking up at him with those bright eyes and that warm smile that made something in his stomach twitch and his throat clench. Nico knew he shouldn’t feel so ill at ease with these feelings. They hadn’t put a word on it but it was a thing that they were doing. Having feelings together, exchanged smiles and moments of laughter when he thought no one was watching. Once, Will had even placed his hand down a mere inch from Nico’s and he had let his little finger flicker to just once lightly tap against Will’s in thanks for the silent support. He’d felt sick with guilt afterwards, but what was new? The little moments of happiness more than made up for it.

“I just do. And Chiron shouldn’t have told you that.” He muttered, shifting to move back under the full shade of a tree, pulling his legs in to his chest as Will closed the book. Right, study was over. Nico wrapped his arms around his legs, finger shifting the skull ring as he felt the pressing anxiety to run and escape the potential fallout. How many people knew? No doubt his unnaturalness was being spoken of throughout camp as he sat here. They would prove Jason wrong that times had changed. Their eyes would follow him, judging and radiating hate for someone who was so different. He’d have to leave and go back on the run, abandoning all he had built here. Nico closed his eyes as the feelings became overwhelming and claustrophobic, grass yellowing beneath his feet.

“He was concerned.” Will said softly, shifting over to sit next to Nico and breaking his silent panic.

“I’m not talking about it.”

“Is it Plato’s Sympo-?”

“No.”

“Hm. That’s what Chiron thought as well.” Nico could hear amusement in Will’s voice and concern. He dropped his hands from twisting the ring, suddenly subconscious of his tell and instead twined blades of dead grass between his fingers and yanked. His hand opened to let the picked grass tumble back to the earth.

“Did you read the original or just hear an abbreviated version?” Will pressed.

“Have you read it?” Nico challenged, ripping up more grass.

“Not until last week. Chiron sat me down with it and we discussed it.”

“Then you know why I can’t stand Plato.”

“Abbreviated version, huh?”

Nico looked over to Will who did not look disgusted, upset or any of the other myriad of emotions that he would have expected. Did he not read the whole mankind were once male and female, now split and eternally trying to recombine with their other half? Which left them and whatever they had rather in the dirt. Because if there was one thing that was worse than knowing he wasn’t right, that there had been some huge mistake with his creation, it was knowing that someone as good as Will Solace had the same affliction. Sure, he could be annoying but Will deserved more than that. He shouldn’t be a broken half. If anyone deserve to be able to become whole once more, it was Will. Will, who was staring at him like he expected some answer and Nico shrugged, yanking more grass.

“So what? I was like eleven. Not exactly likely to go and read the actual version. I deserve credit for even doing that much.” He couldn't actually remember how he'd heard it. He had found out that it was from Plato's Symposium after he knew the story, that much he knew. He assumed either he had read it very young or perhaps some ghost had told him. Most of his pre-Camp Half Blood lessons had come from ghosts in one form or another.

“Perhaps you should. I rather liked the bit about the straights all being nymphomaniacs and adulters.” Will smirked.

Nico frowned, his body freezing as he blinked very slowly trying to make what Will had said align with what he knew. A frown tugged at his brow.

“What… do you mean…?”

“Well, the whole bit about there being people made of two parts, either two men, two women, or a man and a woman, always trying to get back together. And the same sex ones generally being the better lot. Well, more the two men combos because they weren’t necessarily the most progressive in Ancient Greece. But in the end, that’s just a story that Plato had Aristophanes, who was a comedic playwright, tell. It’s not really anything to be taken too seriously.”

How had no one told him that? A dark anger settled into the pit of Nico's stomach and he found himself wanting to track down whichever spirit had lied to him and- Will continued speaking, his voice too light for Nico to continue his thoughts and the seething hatred dissipated.

“Honestly, read it if you don’t believe me. Chiron sat me down and took me through the whole story, every boring line after every boring line. I’m not supposed to tell you this because he’d rather you told him when you’re ready but he kind of clocked that you and I-” Nico shot Will a death glare and Will held up his hands.

“I was going to say get on well! And yeah, considering your aversion to Plato, he thought it might be you heard a misrepresented version of that story. We both know about festering wounds so agreed you should learn the truth of the matter. Preferably not by forced study so I kind of had to get an impromptu philosophy lesson. I think Chiron intended me to be rather more subtle about his involvement but my assessment is that it is better to know that you’re not alone and that it’s OK.”

Nico did not want to stare at Will. He did not want to look shocked nor rattled. He focused on plucking more grass and trying not to feel pleased that Will could sit in silence, knowing he needed time to speak and for it not to feel awkward.

“I just.” Nico frowned. The story had not exactly haunted him but it had lodged itself into his chest as further proof of all he had been raised to understand. It felt like a screw had been loosened somewhere deep within. “It isn’t saying that… well…?”

“No,” Will smiled. “And, I mean, the best thing about it is Plato actually wasn't arguing for the gays or the straights. There’s just like this collection of discussion by some old dudes on the meaning of love and then Socrates comes in boom at the end and we get Platonic love , or the basics of it. Big advocation for love being about the search for the meeting of minds rather than physical stuff, which I think is a rather good way to look at it. It goes on to being about then true love is a love of knowledge. That’s what the whole thing is kind of about. I think. Most of it went over my head.”

“That… doesn’t sound so bad.” Nico admitted, his hands winding around some grass but not yet pulling. He focused on the texture of it in his palm and it ground him.

“Besides, it’s not like it’s the be all and end all.” Will continued. “It’s just some guy arguing about love two thousand years ago and what do they know?”

Nico hummed, chin resting on his knees as he stared out at the camp below them. Will moved to sit closer, mirroring his position merely a foot away. If either of them leaned just a bit, their head might rest on the other one’s shoulder and Nico did not shift away.

“I just… As long as I can remember I’ve always been told that love is between a man and a woman. I just seemed inescapable. It didn’t matter who was teaching…” It wasn’t easy and words caught in his throat.

“Look, I know it’s complicated and none of this is going to be easy but I just want you to know that if you need to talk about something, you have me. And if you don’t want to talk to me about it, then Chrion is there too-”

“No.” Nico said hastily, blinking in surprise at that. “That is… I’d rather talk to you than Chiron. About things.” He noticed that at some point, Will had placed a hand, palm upwards between them. Hesitantly, Nico slipped his hand down, ghosting his fingers over Will’s. He did not move or even look at him and somehow feeling safer in that knowledge Nico let his fingers intertwine.

It was better than the grass.

“But when I’m ready. There’s… I’ve got a lot to figure out about all this but I know whatever I think, I enjoy what we have and I don’t want to not feel this.” He twisted their hands so Will’s was on top now and his fingers brushed against Will’s knuckles and down the proximal phalange before circling the knuckles again. Will’s thumb brushed against his and Nico felt his body begin to tense against the warmth and sparks of feelings. In moments like this, it was hard to believe that what they had was wrong.

“I don’t want to not feel like this either.” Will smiled and the distance between them seemed less, although Nico could not say how the gap had closed.

If they really were two halves of a whole, Will had to be his better half, Nico reflected as he felt his head drawn to rest feather light on his… on Will’s shoulder. Yes, it felt like this might be completion or at the very least something that Nico had not felt for an even longer period: contentment.

#Nico di Angelo #will solace #percy jackson series #heroes of olympus

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