#and am under a huge amount of stress

[mxrcurysb1tch]

🍃🧝‍♀️✧･ﾟ: ⋆♱✮♱⋆Astrology observations pt. II⋆♱✮♱⋆ ✧･ﾟ: 🧝‍♀️🍃

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ Gemini placements can talk for hours about literally anything, especially over text. They always want to be entertained and have someone to share their random thoughts with even if they’re just having a conversation about what they ate for dinner.

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ okay this one is PERSONAL and idc. Virgo placements ARE NOT BORING. Just say you don’t understand intellectual humour and wit. But fr, I see a lot of takes on Virgos that are soooo bad even from professional astrologers and it’s a little alarming. Like Virgos don’t exist just to tidy up your life for you and critique you. No. no. no. no just no!!! They have a huge amount of emotional control and objectivity and are skilled at creating beautiful, calm and safe spaces for themselves and everyone around them. If they can be judgemental at times, maybe you should listen, they know a thing or two, ya know? They’re very observant. Also they’re way harder on themselves than they’ll ever be on you.

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ Libra placements aren’t liars and they aren’t fake. They’re highly attuned to the social environment and they want to keep everyone happy simply because it stresses them out not to. They could benefit from being a bit more assertive and firm especially with toxic people thought

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ Your sister sign / opposite sign are the qualities you have deep down but might be hard to access or are hidden from you, especially with your moon and rising sign. For example, Capricorn moons are very sensitive and have a huge emotional range just like cancers but they are very reserved about this and it is hard for them to express. Similarly, cancer moons can be very strong willed like a Capricorn. Also it might be that the negative expression of the opposite sign comes out at your worst times. For example, a Pisces moon under distress might display some of the worst traits of Virgo like being judgemental and withdrawn.

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ Retrograde planets in the birth chart do not deny, they simply delay or force the native to go about things in a different, sometimes more long-winded but ultimately more fruitful manner. They encourage a person to diverge from the typical way of doing things and to create their own methods, opinions and values instead of unquestioningly following the masses. It makes the native ask “why am I choosing to believe/feel/do this thing without questioning it?” and makes them realise that a choice does in fact exist. It is easier for these people to be original and to have a new, refreshing perspective on life. Unfortunately, less open minded people might not understand them. The sign, planet and house will influence the area of life in which this is most prominent.

✰ ⊹₊⟡⋆ The 9th + 21st degrees are Sagittarius degrees. Having these on the moon can make the native feel at home and emotionally fulfilled while travelling or in a foreign country. These natives are also likely to be drawn to living abroad.

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Reptilia - Apterygiformes

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Our next order of paleognath birds are the Apterygiformes, commonly called “kiwi”. Apterygiformes contains one living family, Apterygidae, with all five living species falling under one genus: Apteryx.

Kiwis are the smallest flightless paleognaths, about the size of a Domestic Chicken (Gallus gallus domesticus). They have tiny, vestigial wings and wing-claws that are almost invisible under their bristly, hair-like feathers. Their bill is long, pliable and sensitive to touch. Kiwi eyes are the smallest, relative to body mass, in all birds, resulting in the smallest visual field as well. Their eyes have some specialisations for their nocturnal lifestyle, but kiwi rely more heavily on their other senses. They have long, sensitive rictal bristles on their face that are similar to whiskers, detecting tactile sensations. Unusual for birds, kiwis have a highly developed sense of smell, and are the only birds with nostrils at the end of their long beaks. Kiwi eat small invertebrates, seeds, grubs, and many varieties of worms. They may also eat fruit, small crayfish, eels, and amphibians. Because their nostrils are located at the end of their beaks, kiwi can locate insects and worms underground using their keen sense of smell, without actually seeing or feeling them. Kiwi are native only to New Zealand.

Kiwis form monogamous pairs, though they do not spend all their time together. During the mating season, the pair will call to each other at night, and meet in the nesting burrow every three days. These relationships may last for up to 20 years. Kiwi females carry and lay a single egg that may weigh as much as 450 g (16 oz), up to 1/4 the weight of the female, the largest of any egg in relation to its mother. Producing the huge egg places significant physiological stress on the female. For the thirty days it takes to grow the fully developed egg, the female must eat three times her normal amount of food. Two to three days before the egg is laid there is little space left inside the female for her stomach and she is forced to fast. Some species can lay up to 5 eggs in a single clutch, but most just lay 1 or 2. Kiwi eggs are smooth in texture, and are ivory or greenish white. Once laid, the male incubates the egg(s), except for the Great Spotted Kiwi, (Apteryx maxima) (image 3), in which both parents are involved. Males may leave the nest to forage for hours, during which they cover the egg(s) with dirt and leaf litter. Once a chick hatches, it consumes the remaining highly nutritious shell and egg contents. After hatching, chicks usually do not receive further parental care, as they are born precocious with near full senses and mobility. Chicks generally leave the nest within ten days of hatching and remain in their parent's territory, foraging and nesting independently, until they are large enough to establish their own territory.

Apterygiformes arose in the Miocene. One extinct Miocene species, Proapteryx micromeros, was smaller and probably capable of flight, suggesting that kiwis secondarily lost their ability to fly after their ancestors flew to New Zealand.

Propaganda under the cut:

Kiwis are the national symbol of New Zealand, so much that New Zealanders themselves are commonly called “kiwis”.

Kiwis are the closest living relatives of the extinct, flightless elephant birds (order Aepyornithiformes), which were native to the island of Madagascar. One species of elephant bird, Aepyornis maximus, is considered one of the largest birds to have ever lived, estimated at 3 metres (9.8 ft) in height and weighing 275–1,000 kilograms (610–2,200 lb). Research suggests that both elephant birds and kiwi were descended from small flighted birds that flew to New Zealand and Madagascar.

Four species of kiwi are currently listed as vulnerable, and one is near threatened. All species have been negatively affected by historic deforestation, but their remaining habitat is well protected in large forest reserves and national parks. At present, the greatest threat to their survival is predation by invasive predators like the Stoat (Mustela erminea) (introduced to control invasive rabbits), Domestic Dog (Canis familiaris), Domestic Cat (Felis catus), and Domestic Ferret (Mustela furo).

Before the arrival of humans in the 13th century or earlier, New Zealand's only endemic mammals were three species of bat, and the ecological niches that in other parts of the world were filled by diverse mammals were taken up by birds (and, to a lesser extent, reptiles, insects and gastropods). The kiwi's mostly nocturnal habits may be a result of habitat intrusion by invasive predators and humans. In areas of New Zealand where introduced predators have been removed, such as sanctuaries, kiwi are often seen in daylight.

The Māori traditionally believed that kiwi were under the protection of Tāne Mahuta, god of the forest. They were used as food and their feathers were used for kahu kiwi ceremonial cloaks. Today, while kiwi feathers are still used, they are gathered from birds that die naturally, through road accidents, or predation, and from captive birds. In most American and European zoos that keep kiwis, any shed kiwi feathers, and the kiwis themselves when they pass away, are shipped back to New Zealand to be utilized and buried by the Māori. Kiwi are no longer hunted and Māori consider themselves the birds' guardians.

[lesfir]

Ascended Astarion reaction to “I'll do it. I'll become a mind flayer”.

One of the interesting moments in Astarion's Ascension arc – in scriptural and cinematic point of view - is when Tav informs Astarion that they is not afraid of becoming an illithid.

(for Astarion, illithids are “it”. Justified by lore they lose all personality when they become one, except in the rarest of cases, it's Illithid roulette where the chance is far from 50\50)

Astarion clearly expresses that he doesn't want this and partly in an ironic (sassy) way.

And then this happens:

NodeContext: Trying to be assertive, but faltering

He looks at Tav straight in the eye, but then he thinks for a second, “if not… If it's unavoidable”. puppystaron

A whole body language here is just as brilliantly done.

There are many gestures in this scene before these two phrases, he suggests using the hammer with a pointing gesture “look, we have this other option.” But I'll focus my attention on these two. In the beginning Astarion “indicates”, he wants to show authority and say “no” clearly, then he “crosses out” in the air with his index finger such a suggestion, clenching the fist of his other hand. He's also outraged - he waves his arms around - no, no this all won't happen. That's his emotion. Then he realizes that it is simply impossible to say “no” to this, it is necessary to solve this problem, Astarion opens his palms as if to say “wait”, “then we will think”. Here, too, he wanted to be confident, assertive. And this is his faltering moment, his left hand clenches a couple times for seconds. Realizing that he's confused he wants to pull himself together, clenching both fists again already from his desire to be firmer, confident.

“We'll figure it out. I am sure”.

Next part main analytics of what he's talking about and how deep it is.

He's faltering exactly on the word “I”. Maybe it's here because: And who am I? A worm, weak and pathetic - who never amounted to anything. Astarion heard this throughout the 200 years of his torment. Cazador had insinuated it to him all along - the helplessness and doom of his condition. He's used to a position where he just has to resign himself to it. It's the aftermath of his deep wound.

And then it clicks “no”. We won. Cazador is dead. And I am Lord. We'll figure it out. “I am sure of it”.

He wants to, very much, his feelings here play colors and all the developments that have taken place. But the practical side of the situation… which he realizes inside makes him have feelings and think thoughts he would never want to think about - loss. And what kind of loss? His love.

I've written about the “We” part of the big analytics here before. Astarion uses it many times. This moment is special and precious because he uses "We" in a stressful and dangerous situation, when his confidence after a grand victory and freedom is suddenly shattered again. And his wound is open.

Astarion is used to no one helping him. His usual phrases are “trust no one”.

I remember in situations of danger, he showed only distrust that anyone could help him except himself. That's quite a lot.

When the emotional contact happens in act 2 his feelings with Tav become deeper and true. (although in Act 1, Astarion felt something that was just building up to wanting real and more)

This moment is important because:

- he expresses his “I”.

- that he doesn't just say “We” when he's proud and puffed up. “We rule, we are beautiful.” He says “We” when a problem needs to be solved. That's what makes this We special. And under stress that he's even stuttering (!). It's a huge step, as if to say, he doesn't push Tav away, his first thought on how to solve this problem - relies on us. It's also a comfort to him. In addition, his tone becomes very soft - he's trying to calm Tav down so they can figure something out, too. Including “wait” gestures are the soothing “take your time, calm down, we'll think about it” movement.

As soon as he felt the pain from his wound, he remembers the most important. It's his trust and confidence in each other.

We can do it together.

At the end, I suggest enjoying Astarion against a backdrop of blue space nebulae.

[rayraelleaizawa]

They say something hurtfull in an argument

TW: sad, slight angst, fighting

Characters: Shanks, Beckmann, Mihawk

Side note: a bit ooc cause they'd never say something like that but we live for angst

Part 2: Making up after an argument

Shanks

"Why do you always have to be drunk?" i asked him as he woke up with yet another hangover. Being together with Shanks is amazing, he loves you, he gives you everything you could wish for and more, but there is one thing you hate about his beheaviour: the constant drinking.

"Because we are pirates, we have to party" Shanks answered with a grin before he groans due to his headache.

"This drinking will kill you one time, do you know that? It's also a huge downturn in bed when i want to kiss you and all i can smell is alcohol on your breath." You kept on complaining, tired of this. "Alcohol damages your body so much, do you want to die so much earlier or what?" you snapped at him.

"Maybe I need something to make me feel better about your constant bickering." Shanks said with a growl, the grin disappearing.

You halted in your tracks. A look of hurt crossed your face as you shut your mouth close. Sadness welled up inside you at the thought, that you were also a reason why he kept on having this extremly unhealthy habit.

"I'm sorry then" you said quietly and walked out of your shared quarters, now probably only his quarters, cause you werent sure if you want to go back there and sleep next to him.

You were just worried about him, why didnt you notice that you were annoying him with that? You never said anything, helped him out of all his problems that he caused by himself with his childish demeanour, you only scolded him when he hurt himself. He never hurts others, he only lets himself get hurt. And that frustrated you beyond believe.

Didnt he know how much you cared for him? Did he even care? Are you even enough to make him start to look out for himself?

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you hid yourself in an empty room on the ship. You tried so much to accept his drinking habbits, you didnt even ask him to stop, just to not be drunk 6 and a half days of the week, and that every week.

You burried your face in your knees and cried. Where you that insufferable that he hurts his own body just to be able to endure your company? If you left, then he wouldnt do this to himself anymore, right?

Benn Beckman

"Really? Another one?"

You say annoyed as you watch your boyfriend light up another cigarette.

"Yes. Another one."

He plainly answers. You guys had this discussion before. You wanted him to smoke less, he said he'd try to but the amount doesnt get any less.

"Benn this really damages your lungs. Cant you please try to smoke less?"

You asked again, and he sighed annoyed.

"They help me relax."

You started to get annoyed by his short answers.

"You could relax with other stuff. You could take a bath, or i could massage you, or we could just spend time together."

You suggested as he sighed out audibly annoyed.

"And you think after all the work and stress I have the whole day I want to spend it around a person which constantly nags on me and where i cant let my mind settle even a bit?"

He snapped, looking at you angrily. You looked at him with an unmoving face before you adverted your eyes. You didnt want to show him that his words hurt.

"I'm sorry, I didnt know you couldnt let your guard down around me."

You said defeated, turning around and slowly walking away. You could hear him say your name quietly but you didnt want to turn around. You just walked under deck and into your cabin. You sat down on your desk and started working, tears running down your face as you felt a coldness within you.

Does he not trust me enough? I didnt know that I am a stress factor for him.

Dark thoughts pleagued your mind as you tried to just work through your feelings. You tried to not be even more of a burden. Tears ran down your face, some of them hitting the desk and some hitting the papers with the lists and research about the treasures your crew had gotten lately.

Benn works so hard, and I never made him feel better. I just added to his stress. He'd be better off alone, right?

Dracule Mihawk

"Could you please tell me when you plan on leaving?"

You said to Mihawk as he came back after two months without telling you that he'll be gone.

"Why? I have my own free will if i remember correctly."

"Because I worry about you when you just suddenly disappear! It isnt that hard to just leave a note or something when you cant tell me in the face that you have to leave."

You were angry at him. What did he think? He was your boyfriend so why couldnt he just tell you when he left for weeks?

He puts down his hat and went to get some vine but you stopped him. Him not even looking at you makes you feel like you're unimportant to him, that this whole matter is of no interest to him.

"Do you really care so little about my feelings? Or am I just a nuissance to you right now that you cant even stop walking when I talk with you."

He then looked at you, annoyance but also a sign of being unbothered on his face.

"You're acting like a child. If I leave again and dont come back you'll at least know why now."

He said that so matter of factly that you were stunned about his coldness. He moved around you to the kitchen to grab some vine, and you just stood there.

Did he really just say that I am the reason why he doesnt want to come home anymore?

You shook your head slightly, recalling his words again and trying not to be hurt by them. As you hear his steps starting to come back, you hurried out of the room and into your shared bedroom. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to make it make sense.

When did he start hating to come back to you? What exactly was so annoying about you? Why didnt he just tell you that he didnt like your behaviour anymore? Does he even like you anymore?

All those thoughts were running through your head as you packed the little clothes and stuff you owned. You didnt touch a thing that he bought for you. If he wanted to leave and not come back, then you will make it easier for him and leave on your own. That's what he wants, isnt it?

After you finished packing you quietly stepped out of his castle and made your way into the woods. Tears were still streaming down your face, but you ignored them. This was for the best, right?

[walkingzombiegirl]

how about some sexually frustrated banter with hange, the only other titan scientist behind the walls who you're always competing with when it comes to your research?

or flirty ellie who always gets on your nerves but in reality she's just a big loser and a science geek and that actually makes her kinda hot...

oorrrr knight abby who is devoted to your protection and the kingdom's so that is why she has put up with that bratty attitude until one day she finally snaps and calls you a brat and suddenly you're all flustered and that was almost all it took to have you spread out beneath her with her head lost between your legs. she could stay there for hours and be satisfied with just that .

anyway i have a huge thing for enemies to lovers and banter idk what's wrong with me 😭😭

━ 𝙂𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 - ellie williams x fem!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 - Ellie and you are opposites, causing a bit of bickering that never seems to end. But when she has to go to her room before Dina gets back to find her wallet, she drags you along. However, it takes a more fun turn that you would've ever thought possible. Especially since you fucking hate her.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - cursing, bitchy!reader, flirting, slight alludes to previous sexual encounter between them, alludes to having sex at the end, scandalous figurine

𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀 - sorry i disappeared if you couldn't tell by how badly this was written i haven't been feeling the best and been stressed about college! Also I am planning on writing the other two... slow roll.

"Did you buy all of these?" You asked glancing around her decked out room, in awe at how many figurines she had around the place. Practically stacked full, wall to wall was gaming posters, ones of various rock bands, some shows and cartoons you didn't recognize. Between those was shelves of comic books, and an overly messy deck scattered with work and drawings she quickly covered up.

"Yeah, that's how shopping works."

You glared at her, looking around at the room some more before spotting another shelf that had more little people. You smiled, picking up a lady that was wearing a rather scandalous outfit.

You nearly let a laugh escape, twirling her around in your fingers, her dress the same color as your nails. At that, it was promptly snatched from your fingers. A scoff falling from your lips.

"What? I was just looking." But when your eyes met her freckled face you noticed a light coat of pink dusted her cheeks. Her eyes rocketing around the room like she'd been told there was someone ready to kill her inside. "Don't touch anything." "Alright, alright." You huffed, putting your hands up in faux submission.

"Can I at least sit somewhere while I wait for you to do whatever the fuck you dragged me in here to do?" You asked, Ellie immediatley giving a glare and then pointing at the mattress with a tight face. The little hot lady still in her hand.

You couldn't help yourself, you peered at her, squinting to see past her fingers. Once she realized, however, the little lady hurriedly went flying over her shoulder and knocked against the desk.

"Hey!" You plopped down on the bed, the springs squeaking under your weight. "I just wanted to see her." "It's none of your business just wait a minute for me."

You didn't respond, instead watching her ruffle around in the top drawer of her dresser. But you couldn't help yourself, you turned around to look at the photo board you seen when you walked in, all of Dina, Jesse, and others like Abby and Nora.

Boring... until, wait?

"Is that me?" You then broke the silence, scooting up the bed to see a photo of you and Dina on the beach from last summer. You were both grinning at the camera and holding up beers. "That's from the night we-" "Yes."

You peered back to her, green irises staring into your soul as you met her eyes.

"You're a freak." "You look hot in that picture." By the look on her face you were probably number three in the amount of total girls she'd said that to. To their faces anyway. "You are such a nerd." You whispered, staring at her with an almost freakishly large grin on your face.

"You are a bitch." She then replied, her expression mirroring your own. "Says the perv with a picture of me on your wall in a bikini. Creep." "Says little miss 'let me see your doll's tits, Ellie'." She spoke, but didn't seem annoyed, instead, almost intrigued as you responded, "You own the doll!"

"Not for those reasons!" She spat, laughing halfway through the sentence. "Are you sure you don't fuck the doll, Ellie?" "You wish I did, it'd be the closest you've gotten to me in months." You sneered at that, biting your lip.

"You're so full of yourself." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Whatever." "Whatever? God you irritate the fuck out of me." You exclaimed, running your hands down your face with a groan. "You're in my room." "You told me to just to go with you."

There was a pregnant pause before,

"Please tell me you jack to the photo." "No!" She stared at you, making a face. "No." "You do!" "So what you're not horrible to look at." You smirked up at her, shaking your head. "Perv." You hummed, her face inching closer to yours, eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips before back up again.

"Whatever."

"Nuh uh, you don't get to do that." You said and reached forward grabbing her buckle, pulling her in. "You fucking freak." She just rolled her eyes, looking back at her bedroom door.

There was a silence that felt thick compared to the conversation just had, her head rolling back to face you.

"How long until Dina gets back?" She asked, eyes practically gouging into yours. Her stare had you squirming already.

"Long enough."

She nodded, looking again before at the alarm clock beside her bed.

"Do you-"

"Yes Ellie. Yes."

"Okay."

awkward ellie is more canon then sex god ellie and i stand by that

[traumacatholic]

How are you doing Emma? I worry but I pray, I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you are alright. I certainly miss your presence.

Hey, going to use your message as kind of an update post.

I'm currently living with some family, it's not the place that I particularly want to be but it does mean that I no longer have to pay a huge amount of rent. And it does mean that there's housing stability. I'm partly caring for a relative with dementia, which is stressful. Living here does mean I don't have access to a good doctor or a Church. But it does mean some stability that I couldn't / can't currently get elsewhere

Today I received the news that my cat has a lump in her mouth, which could possibly be cancer. The problem is because it's in her mouth, there isn't treatment options. There's only really palliative care. I could pay for her to be put under and they can perhaps do a biopsy, but it would be very stressful for her as well as expensive. And if it was cancer, there isn't anything they can offer. So I have to just go the palliative care route. I've been given a week's worth of antibiotics and painkillers.

It's tough. I am not doing well mentally. All I can really do is try to keep myself afloat. I wish I had more positive news. Thank you for the message and care for me, and I really do appreciate your prayers. God bless you

[theambivalentagender]

Hello all! So if you follow me, you likely also follow my comic Valley Echoes as well as any of my other art drabbles. You may also know that I've been financially limping along for some time.

For context, my day job is dog grooming. It's a "career" I came into relatively recently and honestly love. However, my location has recently been incredibly dead. I haven't been able to make commission from lack of dogs and my hours have been cut drastically.

I'm currently looking into finding extra work where I can that will still fit with my technically full time schedule. This has been a big part of why the comic updates have slowed considerably in the last few months.

In the meantime, however, I did want to show that I am available for commissions at this time. This is the first time I'd be getting into commissions, so if folks do request I just ask for patience as I figure it all out, but I'd love to be able to draw your requests. I have a vgen account that's still being set up at the moment.

I also want to plug my Patreon again - honestly, the fact you all give this much for what I do now is incredible to me. I recently met the fun "milestone" of Patreon temporarily locking access to my withdrawals because I had made enough money this year to require filling out a tax form before my funds could be released, which I did. Maybe it's silly but it made me a little happy. I also have a Kofi though that's updated less.

This next part ended up being much longer and more personal than I expected so I'll put it under a cut.

Anything at this time would help immensely. Cost of living is insane, I just turned 30 and keep wondering how much longer I'll be able to keep renting, let alone ever saving to afford a home. I'm very, very lucky in that I have support from my dad, who has honestly been one of my strongest lifelines for years. But I obviously don't want to have to keep taking so much of that support from someone who should be enjoying retirement.

There are a lot of expenses I keep having, and things I'm putting off. The ipad I use for art has been cracked for months, but is still functional thank god. I recently finally bought myself clothes that aren't falling off my body after losing over 100 lbs in the last year. I have to buy and maintain my own tools for my grooming job, and I have to maintain my own health, both mentally and physically. My left hand/arm probably has nerve impingements and muscle strains science hasn't even named yet lmao. And of course there's taking care of my two terrible feline children who cause nothing but chaos in my home and who I love dearly.

Even if you don't give monetary support though, I so, so greatly appreciate every one of you who shares, likes, or comments on my work. I just recently got an anon who I mean to reply to soon gushing about they love Valley Echoes. Nothing makes my day more than waking up to see a million notifications that's just one person liking each of my comics as they read through it the first time.

Ever since I was 6 years old I wanted to be a storyteller in some way. I used to draw my own Dilbert and Far Side comics, and I constantly wrote wild fantasy stories. But after going through college, dealing with a huge amount of stress, burnout, and just one random person online telling me that I needed to hear the harsh "truth" that my writing skills were garbage, that spark was just gone. Excluding occasional stuttering starts, I didn't really write for years.

Doing this "silly" comic and getting the feedback I have is starting to rekindle that spark. I have so many stories of my own that I'm starting to make tentative plans on producing in some way. But even if I never become some official published recognized author, I feel like just putting out this comic is fulfilling that dream I had as a kid. So thank you again, as cheesy and long winded as this post has become.

[neodymiumcuilz]

HELP WISSAM SURVIVE - URGENT CALL TO ACTION 🍉🍉

" I lost my twins there, on the asphalt, in front of my other children who couldn't even cry. "

" The next day, I woke up and found them buried under the sand. No grave, no names.

Now, I'm seven months pregnant with my third child.

But anemia is tearing me apart, stress is breaking my head, and hunger is eating away at what's left of me.

I feel my baby pleading with me from within: "Mother, don't die."

And I apologize to him every day... because I can't promise him life. "

Those are words from Wissam ( @wesam75 ) a woman from Gaza is dire need of our help. Please, read her words, read her story. Take in the severity of the situation, imagine yourself in her shoes. Imagine the two children you envisioned a life with gone in an instant, imagine being subjected to humiliating and degrading conditions day after day. Imagine being in a cold, damp tent instead of a warm shelter, worried as you cannot guarantee life for yourself or your child. Imagine being forced to know, that at any time death hangs over your head. At any time you could be killed. Imagine having no access to health care - despite going through a difficult pregnancy and a miscarriage. Wissam is extremely strong after going through what she did. We cannot even comprehend the suffering of the Palestinians right now.

Health care, and the right to be treated are basic human needs. During the genocide, health care workers and hospitals are targeted relentlessly, leading to the deaths of thousands who cannot access health care, the blockaid stops surgeries and treatment happening, the lack of electricity stops treatment from happening. I don't believe the right to live should be hidden behind a paywall, but that is her reality.

This situation is life or death, only a couple hundred stands between her future.

" Please my friend don't ignore me I need you my child's life is in danger and the oxygen is dropping by 60% and I need to do a test and I am unable to do anything so I ask for your help and I hope you help me because I will not be able to live or buy anything because of the situation we are going through please help me my friend I need 185 dollars help me please my friend. "

That is her desperate plea to the world. Do not ignore it, even for one second. Do not ignore her litterally just asking to live. If you donate even a small amount - that's crucial in saving her life. Imagine - she's living in a hell, constantly on the brink of death, but the people reading from a safe home aren't even bothered to donate to her? No - we cannot let her die, we cannot leave her alone to suffer. She needs money and I'm not gonna let yall be complicit with her suffering. We can't ignore her. If you see this and choose to ignore it, I honestly don't know what to say to you - you're heatless.

We can raise her more money in no time. Its not a huge amount. If you can donate, put in some money. No excuses. If you truly cannot donate, REBLOG/POST this campaign. Someone may help her because YOU shared it. Don't be selfish.

[mothinabottle]

Hey hey I don't know if I've asked you this already (if I have I'm so sorry I have the memory of a goldfish that embodies an orange cat ^^")

But

I'm planning on making my dol pcs in the Sims4 and I was wondering if it'd be alright if I did the same with yours? I wanna have my friends dol pcs live under a roof (and see what chaos will ensure and post about it xD) once I've set my computer back up and done all the updates...there are so MANY updates ;-;

I understand if that's not alright with you though ^^

Dearest, it is more than alright! In fact, I am really flattered that you'd like to recreate them in the Sims 💙

Pls do tag me whenever these little demons do stupid shit, because I know they will.

Did a small relationship chart with the final school uniform designs to guide u a little.

Resumed description of each PC below

Hana is quite easy. She/them is obsessed with having a perfect academic record and is the most prideful person you'll ever encounter. No one can be better than her at school or she will lose her mind.

Partygoer, academic genius, socially dumb, can barely boil water and usually stresses herself to the point of fainting and bleeding. Prefers to talk things out. Smokes a lot, drinks a lot

Neat room, everything organized except from the amount of papers scattered around. Likes to show off trophies and medals. Tons of band posters. Her electric guitar is her most prized posession. Voice has an incredible range and is very powerful, thus a great singer

Hana crossdresses a lot to go out and such. Only wears female clothing at school. Extremely tall (1.95 cm). Doesn't know what to do with her life

Masculine body, fit but max ass. It's difficult to describe her, but some drawings give a hint of her body type

Kari is tricky. Really violent. Anger issues. Fights a lot. Scars on her arms which she covers wirh her clothes. Manipulative, really easy to anger. Cannot draw for shit. Prefers having short hair but is scared of being seen as less feminine.

Overdoses on pills regularly. Sexual things are a sensitive topic, but isn't above using her body to get what she wants. Really small (1.47cm). Does her best to be seen as an angel, has a meltdown if sometimes makes her realize she is less than pure.

Room looks like an elegant room of a hotel. Extremely fancy with expensive stuff, but it looks so soulless it hurts.

Really curvy body. Max tits and ass. You get what I am saying

You can make her chubby, though. She would be happier if she was chubby like when she was a child. Only thin because fear of not being seen as conventionally attractive.

May is the trickiest. Since she is "dead", most things are left up to how you want her to be.

Important stuff would be:

-Very meek,

-Loves space and anything related to it. Best subject used to be Science

-Very kind. Selfless to the point of being an imbecile.

-Loves nature and is a huge dreamer.

- Hobby is knitting and watching movies.

-Unlike the first two, she always dreamed of having a family. Doesn't matter if big or small.

That would be all to kinda build sims for them. You can DM me if you have any doubts!

Thank you for this opportunity, teademoness, dear! 💙💙

[bengiyo]

The Trainee Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ryan applied to be an intern at a production company near his house to complete his work requirements for his degree. Ryan is a bit lost and unmotivated at this time, and so didn't even know what a production company does, or that he was interviewing to be an assistant director. He was assigned to Jane, who is clearly doing a huge amount of work at this company with no time to train interns, and had a pretty terrible first day when he messed up giving the other interns the full brief and they were late to deliver their work. He's considering quitting and going back to his family's print shop.

Ryan may feel useless, but he's tracking details in the family business.

EP 2: Important Role

Damn, I wanted Pie to give Ryan the crash course he needed.

Interesting that Jane seems to be the shot caller on organizing the production's time. They seem pretty screwed by this change order. Blaming Jane won't change the issues caused by the client.

Hey, a printing job. Ryan can do that.

Damn, Pie threw Ryan under the bus. He was already trying to solve the printer problem.

Jane was harsh, but I get being frustrated at having another problem dumped on him when they're trying to solve a major crunch.

Oh ho. A mention of the censorship board.

Damn, I feel for Jane. I get calls like this all the time for stuff that others could solve.

Why is Ryan using voices to relay info? Lol

I like Ryan volunteering to help by thinking about the uncle, but I'm terrified about how he'll screw this up somehow. He's not assertive enough yet to handle any kind of negotiation.

Aw, the motorcycle uncle would have probably been a decent dude to work with.

Oh no.....Ryan is getting scammed...

This is so frustrating because the guy passed.

Why is Pie bickering with this man when he's clearly handling his job.

Well well well. Jane doesn't steal credit.

HP jump scare.

Ryan is killing me with the voices, but I am enjoying this role for Sea.

Look at Ryan recognizing that Jane isn't a control freak perfectionist.

The scammer blocked Ryan. Welp.

Okay. I like Ryan going to the casting team first to check if there was a backup.

Damn, I like Jane a lot. He was so quick to correct Ryan about treating getting scammed as a major fuck up on his part, and made it clear Ryan should speak up when he needs guidance and clear instructions about never making payment decisions on his own.

Would you look at that. The technician Ryan called was able to be an extra.

Jane gave pretty solid praise here. Ryan didn't solve huge problems on his own, but he did help. That's often enough.

Wow, a present for me: Gun's midriff.

Looking forward to the mentor-mentee era.

Man, this show is good. I really like the characters. Everyone makes sense for where they are, and there's a lot of room for growth here. I've been in high stress work environments like this, so I feel for Jane. Now that he knows where Ryan is, we have a good starting line for them.

[contentloadingandstuff]

Patronage For The Worthy - Incubus!Male!Reader x Nilou

A/N: This idea for the reader has been living in my mind rent free for a good chunk of time, and here it is. Hope everyone likes it!

CW: Cervix sex, Male!Reader

NSFW under the cut.

Nilou opens her eyes. Everything is dark around her. A small amount of light falls through her window, illuminating her covered feet a little. She feels a cold gust of air coming from somewhere to her left. She rubs her eyes, yawns, and sits up in bed. 

She looks around. The window is open, letting the cool summer air move the curtains. Nilou, dressed up in her nightgown, gets up and moves to close it. When she stands before the opening, she can’t help but look out at the city. It’s very late, so only a handful of people roam the streets, illuminated by street lanterns. She looks up at the starry sky, and marvels at the full moon. It’s so beautiful, she thinks. 

“Yes indeed. The moon looks incredible today.”

She freezes in sudden horror. Somebody is in her room. Her heart speeds up, and her chest feels heavy with stress. She slowly turns around.

A man is sitting on the edge of her bed. He has short, dark hair. He seems tall, however the way he is sitting, leaning forward while resting his forearms on his thighs make it hard to judge his true height. Small horns are visible through his hair. The pupils of his eyes glow lightly with a red shine. 

Her eyes go wide. She tries to back away, but she is soon stopped by the windowsill. Her breath speeds up.

“W-who are you? What a-are you? W-what do you want from m-me?!” Her voice cracks from fear. The man stands up, revealing his true height. He is much taller than her, and bigger too. His arms are thick and his shoulders are broad. He raises his large hands up slightly.

Nilou would be ready to use her Vision if it wasn’t this late, if his entry wasn’t so sudden, and if only he wasn’t so… huge. Nilou is certain that with a single swing of his powerful arms he could send her flying. She tries to move, but her body refuses. She is frozen as he approaches her.

“S-stay away! Don’t c-come any c-closer!” Her knees tremble, and she slowly lowers herself to the ground.

“Hey, hey. Stay calm. I mean no harm.” The demon’s voice is surprisingly… normal. It’s nothing like she expected. It’s deep, yes, but very human at the same time. But most of all, it’s calm and steady. Its tone is… oddly soothing.

Her heart starts slowing down against all reason. The man’s aura feels… comforting?

“Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you, alright? Deep breaths, Nilou.” 

With no other choice but to obey, Nilou nods. 

“O-okay… but don’t come any closer. Please.”

The demon crouches down to meet her eye level. In the darkness his eyes give off a faint, red glow. Her visitor shrugs.

“As you wish.”

It takes her a few solid moments to calm down. She takes in the posture of the demon. It’s relaxed and casual, much to her surprise. A soft smile is on his lips all the while. She finds the courage to speak.

“Who are you?”

“Well, as you can see… I’m a demon.” He smiles, revealing two sharp fangs in his mouth. Nilou shivers at how sharp they look.

“And why are you here?”

The demon laughs. “I’m just here to visit you, obviously. See… I have been watching your performances for quite some time now. I must say… they are quite… breathtaking.” His smile widens. Despite how strange this situation is, Nilou can’t help but blush a little at the praise.

“Thank you…”

“...And I believe that great work is to be rewarded properly. So here I am. For this night, you're my mistress. I will do everything you ask of me to the best of my ability.”

What the demon said is still being processed in her mind as he stretches out his left arm towards her. 

“I understand if you don’t trust me. That’s why I will give you my word. And incubi’s words are never empty.”

 Suddenly, his wrist starts glowing. Nilou is taken back by the sizzle and the smell of flesh being burned. The incubus remains still as her constellation is burned into his forearm. The unearthly fire dies down as suddenly as it arose, along with the smell. 

The demon sighs. 

"Now I am not allowed to do anything against your will. As well as this contract, I will provide you with my name. The one thing that allows one to control a demon completely. Call me… Y/N.”

“Y/N…” As she says the word, the demon’s eyes glow blue. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“Yours is as well, Nilou. Or… do you want me to call you anything else tonight?”

Nilou thinks for a moment, before replying. 

“Is it okay if you call me… ‘princess’?”

Y/N chuckles. “Of course, princess. It’s all about you tonight. Whatever you wish. ”

Nilou looks at Y/N again. His face bears a smug smile. She traces down to look at his body. It’s large and muscular, but most of it is covered by the casual gown he is wearing. All of his torso, except for a chest window. Before she can fully take it in, the demon speaks again.

“How about we sit somewhere more comfortable, princess Nilou?”

She gives a small nod. Suddenly, Y/N picks her up with one arm, completely effortlessly. She squeals in surprise. He gently lowers her to the bed, and sits beside her. As he does, the clothing parts, letting her see his entire chest. It’s very muscular, with six firm abs and well toned skin. She looks up and down Y/N, taking in his impressive physique. 

"Hey. My eyes are up here, princess." 

Nilou nearly jumps in surprise. Her eyes move from his face to the bed and to the floor in panic. Her cheeks flush red. 

"S-sorry…" She replies somewhat ashamed of how blatantly she was checking him out. 

The demon laughs. 

"Hey, it's okay. Do you like it?" 

"I… u-um… like it a lot." She is redder still, avoiding his smug gaze. 

He suddenly, but gently, grabs her hand, and pulls it to rest on his stomach. 

"You can touch it if you want to. I don't mind."

Nilou gulps. Despite what the demon said, there's still a little spark of worry lingering inside her mind. What if she makes a misstep, and touches him in a spot he doesn't like? He could do something to her… But she has to admit. It's kind of… exciting. To be able to touch such a beautiful body… 

She gently guides her hand along your stomach, feeling every small bump of your muscle. They are firm and hard, yet your skin is soft and warm. So pleasant to touch. She moves up, resting her hand between the breasts, and finds no heartbeat. 

"You… really are not mortal…" She moves up her other hand to your shoulders, gently parting the clothing even further. "May I…?" 

"Yes, feel free. Do what you want with me." You smile encouragingly. 

She removes your top completely, exposing your forearms. She moves closer to you, hands now guiding alongside your forearms. Nilou traces her fingers along the perfect curve of your biceps, taking in how hard, yet soft your flesh is. Her touch is gentle, almost feather light. 

Nilou looks at your face, and an idea suddenly pops into her mind. She lifts her left hand to rest on your cheek. With a slow and careful movement, she moves her thumb to your lips, gently parting them. Her mouth opens slightly as she caresses the teeth. She drags her digit down towards your tongue, and pushes it in slightly. You obediently suck on it, making her blush. 

Nilou clumsily mounts you, and you lean back. She sits on your stomach, and you can feel the heat radiating from her core. She sighs as you speed up your tongue work. Her other hand draws circles around your breast, gently rubbing against the nipple. You let out a soft moan as you surrender to her touch. 

The heat inside her is growing by the second. Y/N… Such a powerful being, big, strong… with nothing but a light press of his sharp teeth he could bite off her fingers, and yet here he is, worshiping her fingers. Such a beautiful creature, surrendering to her every whim… 

Nilou doesn't notice when her hips start moving up and down your abs. You, however, can feel all the wetness seeping through her pajama bottoms. Your hands move to hold her ass, gently helping her move. She gasps when she feels you move, and a small frown appears on her lips. Pleasure? Extortion? Dissatisfaction? You can't tell. 

She grabs your bigger hands and moves them to rest on the covers, pinning them down by the sides of your head. You let her lips find yours as she leans down. Your tongues intertwine, but you let her take the lead. In no time she is exploring your mouth, hips still bucking back and forth against your stomach. 

When she parts with you, hot, blushing and out of breath, you look down at her hips. Her nightgown bottoms are completely soaked in the crotch area. You purr, looking deep into her eyes. 

"Ah, you love that, princess Nilou, don't you?" 

She lets out a small moan, mouth now agape in hard earned pleasure. "Yes…" 

"Let me lend you a hand then."

Your eyes glow, and suddenly her clothes are gone, turned into black particles. This doesn't surprise or startle her. Instead, she just dives into your lips again, exposed pussy rubbing against your soft skin with twice the intensity now. She is too overcome with lust and desire to care, or feel even an ounce of shame. 

With an especially wide hip move, her core rubs against your bulge. In an instant, a new wave of desire overcomes her. Her nose takes in your beautiful, overwhelmingly hot smell, and she can feel that familiar itch between her legs. But this time, her fingers won't do the trick. 

"I want you, now… please… serve me w-with your body, Y/N…" 

Your eyes glow again, and your pants are completely gone in an instant, allowing your cock to spring free of its confines. Without delay, she grabs it in her hand. She rubs her palm against your head, gathering the slick and precum. Nilou timidly takes a whiff of your musk, and her eyes water at how strong it is. Wasting no time, she places your head against her entrance, and slowly, very slowly, starts pushing it in. 

She whines as your tip stretches her body. You move your hands to support her lower thighs, securing her movement. Her eyes flutter shut as she feels her insides being pushed apart, making space for your overwhelming length. She feels so full, so delightfully filled, and yet it's just the halfway point. She moves her hips up and down a little, sending waves of pleasure through the both of you. She moans lightly, hands gripping your shoulders for support. You can feel her fingers digging deeper and deeper into your skin with every millimeter of depth. 

Nilou runs out of breath for a second, before a sweet, loud yelp reaches your ears. You can feel a firm wall of flesh touching your cock. Her eyes roll back, and she falls on your chest, breathing heavily. Her cervix prevents you from going deeper, so you start moving your hips back. Gently, but firmly, you snap them back forward, striking her wall and earning a gasp from her. She digs her nails into you, drawing blood as you fuck her gently. 

Nilou soon convulses, her walls pulsing, throbbing and clenching around your shaft. With her first orgasm, any sense of boundary or restraint is gone. Despite her orgasm induced exhaustion, she starts moving again. You both moan in unison as Nilou lets go of her desires and rides you for another orgasm. 

And then another, and another until her body gave out on her. You left her there, bruised, covered in hickeys and absolutely spent. 

The sleep she had was the best of her life that night. 

—

Nilou awoke the next morning. Every part of her hurt, from her toes to the top of her head. Lightly stretching, she looked around her room. Even though she remembered it to be more or less trashed, it was cleaned. A new set of pajamas, identical to those she lost during the night, was resting on top of her night stand. 

On shaky, sore legs she moved to the bathroom. Moving to the kitchen after washing herself down with lukewarm water, a silver, covered tray caught her attention. A small piece of paper lay next to it. She glanced over the text, written in beautiful, decorative font. 

"Loved the night. Made you breakfast. See you on the next show, princess~ - Y/N."

Nilou lifted the cover, coming face to face with a steaming hot pile of pancakes. She nearly squealed with joy at the sight. The girl rushed to grab some cutlery, but a flash of pain stopped her in her tracks. Rubbing her sore hips, she chuckled to himself. 

Maybe she really did go too far yesterday. 

Thanks for reading!

[influenzalake]

'Hold on, I got this' - Chronically Ill Reader x Damian and Jon

Summary: reader is no stranger to sickness, they are chronically Ill and a little on the fragile side. There is an emergency across town in Metropolis, but Jonathan and Damian are stuck in school. They need a distraction before the school goes into lockdown, this time reader comes to the rescue

Y/N knows about the boys' heroism and the boys' know about Y/N medical history

TW: illnesses, syncope / fainting, mentions of food and eating schedules

gender neutral reader

- - - 

Metropolis is under attack, yet again. 

West-Reeve School is going into lockdown, yet again. 

At West-Reeve, safety is a top priority and each threat is given the same amount of response and attention as the next. Security is deployed, faculty are delegated, and students are confined. *ahem*  Directed toward the safety-bunkers for their protection. 

For their residents Robin and Superboy, all this organization and control is a problem. Their school takes names AND witnesses. Their alarms are buzzing in their pockets and brains about how many civilians are in the red zone, how little time left there is, and how they are not responding. They need OUT. 

Jon and Damian meet up for roll call and are visibly worked up. This is nothing strange considering the circumstances, but their anxieties are for completely different reasons than their peers.

"What are we going to DO? I can hear all the screaming!", Jon says. 

"I'm not sure yet, I am devising a plan to escape through the school vents and make an excuse we went with the wrong class group.", Damian answers. 

"I thought we did that last time! Our escapades are starting to add up, we need something fast."

Y/N finds them in their group as every student from each grade level is corralled in the gym before being separated one by one for roll call. After roll call, they go under. If they can't get out before then, more lives are at stake. 

"Hey guys- ohh...   Is it that bad?", Y/N quickly notices their expressions.

"YES it is that bad. We need to get out of this damn school. I'll give it 2 more minutes before I conclude we must fake our deaths."

"Damian, do we have to go that far? I have a baseball game this Friday! I can't miss that!!"

"Wait, you two need an escape plan? For superhero business?", Y/N questions.

"Yes Y/N, yes we do. Such excellent detective work.", Damian states dryly while rolling his eyes. 

Y/N takes a few seconds, then looks at their watch. Heart Rate is in the 60s, but they haven't checked or reported their blood pressure in a while... when was the last time they had a snack? 

Y/N makes their decision before Jon or Damian.

They get their attention and go,

"Hold up, I got this."

Y/N begins hyperventilating, taking huge breaths with no time in between then starts going faster and faster. They start turning red in the face and a familiar kind of tingling starts at the end of their fingertips. Their vision becomes clouded with dark and light spots and right before they lose sight, they hold their breath with everything they can and hinge forward. 

Damian understands the assignment and immediately goes into character. Jon follows suit and starts screaming at the top of his lungs to make way. They both start holding up Y/N by the shoulders dragging them across the gymnasium floor. They make a beeline to the Nurse's Office, silently thanking Y/N for their ticket out. They make the excuse that all the chaos and stress got to Y/N before they passed out. They tell the nurse they will stay with Y/N for support and the school nurse reports their attendance to the administrators.  

~

Hours later, Y/N is still at the school nurse's office, waiting to be signed out for the day. This time though, Y/N doesn't hold their breath. It takes forever for students to get home post-lockdown due to the strict sign in-sign out policy. There is a line wrapping around the building of parents and guardians waiting to be scanned and checked to take their child home.  

They're watching a news report on channel 3 about how Intergang was taken down by the heroic efforts of the Justice League. As the footage rolls, Y/N sees Robin and Superboy in the frame and smiles softly. 

At knock at the door snaps them out of focus,

"Y/N, your mom is here!"

"Thank you Miss Robinson!"

Y/N puts down their fruit cup and disconnects the monitors. They carefully stand up and starts cleaning their area before their phone lights up.

"Thank you, Y/N. Wishing you the best recovery." 

"Thanks for the distraction Y/N! Hope you're doing okay :)"

Two texts from two friends. 

"No problem"

And Y/N goes home.

- - - 

* inspired by my many Stood Up Too Fast and Almost Met Jesus moments 

* do not try this at home

*do not try this at home, please- do NOT try this at home

- - -

@jejji45

[colfy-wolfy]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYNYAN hoping this year will be at least half decent for myself and all of you!! huge-ish vent below cut btw, just a warning for whoever doesn't want to read that. Hope everyone who reads this has had an amazing holiday and i wish you all a happy 2025!! I love all of you who follow me and I especially love all my friends and mutuals, you guys are awesome. ❤️❤️

This year, especially the last couple months, was one of my most depressing years of my life I think. That's my only excuse for such a lack of art posts. I don't owe anyone who follows me anything, I post whenever I feel like it, but I myself would've liked if I were able to draw and post more often simply because I love it when people find happiness and inspiration in what I make and it personally makes me happy to draw things for myself, getting to take what's on my mind and translate it on a canvas. But that was made nearly impossible because of the sheer amount of grief and stress I was put under these past couple months. I didn't even have any motivation to draw anything for myself, most of my best drawings were of things I hyperfixated on. Anything else was stupid doodles or quick sketches that drained me for days. I've had way too many loved ones die this year for my comfort, and I've never experienced even one death of a loved one before this so for me to have to deal with so much sudden moments of grief was a lot on me and even now I can't believe it. It's not something I can or would like to dwell on every moment of every day but the effect it's had on me does exist even when I don't think about it. On top of that, my family life seems to have gotten worse now that I'm an adult and also understand how broken of a family I've got which is a whole complicated thing I'd rather not get into.

I don't like talking about such real serious shit on my main blog like at all, I like to keep my blog friendly and positive, so venting here so personally is a bit out of my comfort zone.. but I just wanted to get that out there because despite all of that's happened, I've had my close friends with me the entire way down and I am so incredibly grateful for that. You all know who you are, I love you all and I really REALLY mean it. You guys mean so much to me it hurts, even when we argue or when some negative shit happens we still get through it and care for each other. You guys are my real family. Anyone else reading this, I hope that even during your hardest moments that you have someone to lean on and they can lean on you too, someone who supports you and who you can support back. Even if you have no one now, please try to take care of yourself and hold on there until you can find a friend who you can count on and that you can give all your gratitude to. There's no family like your found family. Care for others and they will care for you back. Happy new years. <3

[meichenxi]

Hanzi update (+accidental trauma talk)

tw illness, trauma, vomiting, weight loss, recovery. I didn't plan to write about this but because of what happened in the last year I can't really write about how I studied Chinese without talking about it. so. but it's mainly about hanzi lol

I've been learning how to write traditional characters with the vague idea that I'd go and study in Taiwan, and also that if I want to write Classical Chinese or Japanese they're far more useful - but the program I want to go to Taiwan for requires HSK7, which I DO not think I can achieve and have the results of before March. Who knows! Perhaps within me lies untold brilliance and dedication!!

...well, I wouldn't rely on it. (I am also busy with a job, a partner, studying an A-level course to begin tutoring it in September, and writing the second draft of my novel.)

And even if I ended up going to Taiwan with my absolutely fantastic HSK7, there's no way I could handwrite all of those words within a year. If I learn 10 characters a day, that's like 3650 characters in a year, but realistically that will never happen - and you still have to actually remember them.

I also know from my last experience where I learnt a stupid amount of characters very quickly (about 800 in two weeks) that I can technically do it, I have a very large swollen brain, but then the brain, being very large and very swollen, promptly burns out. And leaves me to not do any Chinese again for like two months. So basically - completely pointless, because after those two months of rest I had forgotten most of them anyway. I will not be doing that again.

This time around I have been slowly, very slowly, learning things on Skritter. I have about 400 characters so far. I'm not doing words but doing characters, which is a bit slower, but I figure it'll be more useful in the long run. After I have the first 1000, I'm planning to then systematically go through the HSK and TOCFL lists and check I know how to put characters together and which 'jing' is used in 'yijing' etc.

This approach is only really going to work because I know a lot of vocabulary and can read a lot of stuff already - otherwise I wouldn't recommend to anybody without that backbone of vocabulary to just learn random isolated characters, unless you're masochistic or much harder-core than I am.

As I have said in a lot of posts before, I had a very difficult experience in China last August and have basically taken an entire year off studying because in all honesty I just couldn't bring myself to face the language again. Every time I tried I had this crazy grief and nightmares and stress response. What I went through was so stressful that during those two months in China that I lost seven kilograms, as I couldn't eat much without vomiting it back up due to stress and fear, didn't sleep, and ended up having to leave for Thailand pretty severely malnutritioned - which then made me susceptible to illnesses there and I spent the next two months after with awful health, vomiting and weak and generally sick. Luckily I was with friends and I gained the weight again and my period and digestive system sorted itself out.

And I never expected that a language itself could carry trauma? Like. Nobody died, it wasn't like that, I wasn't abused or assaulted or anything but still...for just under a year, every time I spoke or heard or read Chinese I couldn't help thinking of those two months. Even now it's still hard. I'm finding my way back to it but, to be honest, I didn't expect how hard it would be. I thought I could just - move past it, because I'd already had so many great experiences in China and Taiwan and with Chinese, that they would cancel each other out or at least be aided by the huge amounts of love that the language has shown me. Alas, it was not the case.

Anyway. All of that to say - I have only managed to do about 400 characters in a year, because I essentially gave up studying completely.

Now I've just finished reviewing and re-remembering those 400 characters on Skritter, so I'm ready to start again! I don't know what's changed, I guess just time - I feel more positive, I feel curious and interested about the language again. I don't know. I'm not going to question it too deeply. But for these past two weeks, I've been having a lot of fun :)

I'll update everyone on my progress as I go! Next post - 500.

[meetinginsamarra]

Self-rec Thingy

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for the tag @raina-at

It feels like betrayal to my beloved children 😉 to pick five but here we go.

The Perfect Place 

Sherlock needs a flatmate and already has the perfect person in mind. Now he only needs to convince his object of desire to move in and also find out if he desires Sherlock as well.

I am so in love with my second newest fic! Written daily for some of calais_reno's mayprompts 2024, it evolved into a hilarious funny cringefest with pining idiots and snarky comments made by the narrator. I grinned/laughed all the time while writing and people in the comments said they did, too. 10k words.

The Curious Case of the Casablanca Killer 

Deemed a three at best, the case of an invisible burglar in a historic cinema who stole nothing only caught Sherlock’s attention because he was bored. Also, he wanted to do John a favour. In the end, this proved to be a real stroke of luck. Otherwise, Sherlock would have missed an intriguing mystery that quickly ramped up in complexity.

I am very proud of this one! My first real 100% case fic. It took a lot of plotting and about a year to complete. It started as a gift for my friend and beta reader @peageetibbs , a short idea for a murder in a cinema since my friend runs a real cinema with a group of people in real life.

I have imagined that a lot more people would be eager to read this (ngl I am disappointed about its hit count development). Sherlock solves a complicated case, lots of hints and clues, all is logical and an epic chase sequence at the end. Established friendship, no smut. 56k words. Go read!

Learn My Scars 

After being thrown down and strangled, Sherlock leaves John in the restaurant, angry and deeply hurt. When John follows Sherlock to 221b, he learns that Sherlock's scars have not been acquired by “gallivanting around” for two years.

Very proud of this one, too. It has been written under a huge amount of stress. Written for whumptober 2022, it was posted daily for 31 days with sometimes really long chapters of over 2k words. Looking back, it feels like I've written all my spare time and doing little else for six weeks. It was insane and it was great.

It has the most kudos and second most hits of my fics, 38k words.

Sherlock comes home after the hiatus. My S3 fix-it fic starts at the restaurant scene and goes very differently afterwards. Johnlock endgame, lots of hurt/comfort and tales of what happened to Sherlock while being away, including a long part set in the Serbian cell.

The 13th Book 

Summoning a demon was actually quite simple if you could avoid getting killed in the process. Therefore, only the powerful, the desperate or the stupid would attempt it. John Watson was likely the first, definitely the second but hopefully not one of the third kind.

A magical realism AU. Sorcerer John summons a demon, Sherlock. It happens very differently than it's been expected. Not a lot of actual magic but enemies to friends and an epic bromance ensues. Funny moments, no smut. 26k words.

My AU world interweaves with BBC Sherlock universe and incorporates "Inspector Columbo" and "On the run elements" and this is the reason why I've picked the fic for this list. I made real still-life arrangements for each chapter and photographed them. The pics are posted in the fic. I am a bit sad that there are not so many hits on this one.

Wretched and Divine 

Dr. John Watson is on call at the A&E when he attempts to treat a very special patient. Instead he finds himself a very special treat.

My first ever posted fic. The punklock AU different first meeting is still very well-written (so I believe) for a first! It's funny, in character, on point and John is so in for a surprise! 5k words.

I love the punklock theme so much that this one spawned a sequel and I wrote another 3-part series with punk!Sherlock.

+++++++

Tagging @keirgreeneyes and everone who wants to share (I forgot who's already been tagged).

[parvulous-writings]

Little rant cause GOD has stress been building up over the past few days... I'll put it under a cut so people don't have to read if they don't want to :3

Being autistic isn't all fun and happy hyperfixations cause here's what I'm stressed about today:

- I didn't know a character is popularly believed to be American, there's not a huge amount of info on him so he's either from London or America. I think he's more than likely American if that's the more recent info given - so I need to learn the culture differences between America and Britain for my fics to portray him "correctly".

- I kept getting suggested a community through a couple of posts where people just... Forget/don't acknowledge a part of a religion? Obviously I'm not part of that community so I don't know if they talk about it on other posts but with it being a focus of my studies before I left education, and still a special interest for me today, it just... Stressed me out.

- I am now standing at the microwave at work trying to bring a soup up to temperature and it just WON'T.

And that's not even to mention the arguments I've had over GenAI. Genuinely my blood pressure has soared.