#and also when the fuck did you get into the nuclear power industry

[crow-with-a-knife]

I told you

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

[atopvisenyashill]

I am so glad you articulated the criticism of Dany crucifying the slavers as a political folly and not a moral folly like listen I am a Dany fan if I could send asks from my sideblog you would know this but I do not believe we are supposed to just brush off the crucifixion like Dany herself isn’t even fully convinced it was the right thing to do. Remembering it she feels sick and has to shut down her doubts and TELL HERSELF it was right. She is an interesting character to me because she can’t stand the compromises she must make to maintain peace AND YET she does want justice and liberation BUT she also hates the suffering and bloodshed of war AND YET she is quick to command violence on impulse. I do think her peace in Meereen was real (big Meereen Knot Essays believer) but all of her internal conflicts lead her to her mistakes. Can’t stand peace but can’t stand war so she just tears herself apart!! It’s tragic! It’s interesting! So much more interesting than an unambiguously heroic Dany who makes no mistakes ever!

Yeah, like....it's certainly morally messy, and I think it's morally more messy because Dany isn't a slave of the Ghiscari like Missandei or an Unsullied like Grey Worm, Red Lamb, etc who is rising up and using violent revolution to liberate the slave class of Meereen - she is a descendant from a foreign, formerly slaving culture that enslaved most of the cultures represented in Meereen, someone of noble birth who has experienced immense suffering but was able to pull herself out of it because of her immense social privilege and magical abilities, using violence in an attempt to liberate those her family had once helped subjugate while...still keeping herself at the top of the pyramid.

There's a lot of mess and contradictions in this situation and I find it much less interesting (as you say) when people paint what Dany is doing here as unambiguously heroic. I know I sound like a broken clock when I say it, but the justification of "well this culture has slavery and slavery is bad" is the exact sort of rationalization many colonial and imperial powers make when conquering. White Americans made it about various Indigenous communities ("oh well the Iroquois had slaves and conquered their neighbors" yeah and white americans had chattel slavery which is objectively worse so what now??), the UK and France used it as a rationale for conquering most of Africa and parts of Asia; there's always this annoying through-line of "well Africans sold themselves into slavery" and I think making this argument that "Well the Ghiscari are brutal slavers" is really similar. And I know people don’t like the dragon/nuke comparison or the imperialism/colonizer comparisons but….what made the genocides of the Americas, and the colonization and imperialism of the 20th centuries stand out from the wars that came before is the sort of hellish combination of nationalism, political schisms, fervent hatred of the Other, and industrial growth. Never before could people amass armies and kill on such a massive scale before. Never before did we have weapons that were so fucking good at killing. Never before did we have the bureaucracy capable of streamlining the process so damn well! (and not for lacking of trying, shout out rome but like...still). I think the dragons are a commentary on that - when someone has access to technology like that, can one person be left to decide if it’s use is good or evil? can one culture not be completely corrupted by their technological advances? can nuclear bombs or weapons Ever be used for good, and if they can be then where is that line drawn? who draws the line? why does that person get to draw the line? I don't think any of this will have a clear answer because that's not exactly how he does things - he's just writing a scenario about this and letting us analyze why it happens on our own.

So it’s like okay the Ghiscari and Dothraki are slaving cultures...Sacking a city is still a violent, destructive thing to do and she does it three times including to a city she is attempting to rule. The moment she had an inkling she might be ruling Meereen, she should have rethought her actions there so she doesn’t start off alienating a large group of people. Coming in as a stranger from a culture who used to be slavers and constantly making comments about how much she hates the culture she’s ruling over is....not great! Dany going back and forth between "I hate these people I was right to crucify them" and "there's too much violence amongst these people I have to stop the violence" is why the issues in Meereen become so complicated. Does she have reasons for acting this way? Yes! It doesn't change the outcome of her actions!

What's interesting about her is that as you say, she does realize this conflicting dichotomy within herself! That’s like, the entire issue she’s facing in Meereen - she wants peace because she knows that’s what’s best for the people there and yet struggles to control her boredom and temper because she is too traumatized to sit still any longer. She’s associated the constant move, the constant fight, the violence and blood and death and destruction with righteousness, justice, goodness, and we can SEE it’s having a negative effect on her psyche, her emotions. She’s not HAPPY by the ending of adwd, she’s not self actualized, she’s just hardened herself completely in the face of this unending monster of a campaign. She wants off this ride and yet she’s unable to find a way out. I don’t think we’re meant to cheer her on here!! SHE is barely cheering herself on here!!! It’s a burden to her!!!!

[yangsharperavery]

my non carmy/sydney thoughts on season 2

it's very different than the first which is interesting bc the structure they had in the kitchen last season worked so seamlessly.

i think this season was lacking that frequency and flare. i think because of that it suffered a bit. i think the viewership did too for that reason.

it was nearly impossible to recreate the magic of the first season without the constant buzz and intensity and immediacy of food service.

i do think that they still could have retained some of that energy by incorporating more demo/planning/training via the familiar staccato, regimented and frenetic pacing of the scenes WHILE also showing the more slowed down exploration of each character being pulled away to get the skills needed to advance the team and its mission.

but it's like they slowed the story telling all the way down immediately.

even opening with marcus and his ailing mother felt like such a specific and poignant choice in that vein.

almost like the theme of the season was going to be all types of grief, preemptive and reactive.

i think they dropped the ball having everyone so spread out over the course of the ENTIRE season and not making the ones that were together exist in the heightened energy we're used to from this show.

here are some things i loved about it:

•  richie's growth. i love an asshole character that is held to account, actually takes correction and impact and works to evolve and improve.

• marcus in copenhagen. he's so sweet and demure. i loved him getting the one on one attention. him exploring the city and staying on the boat. i was worried he'd be forgotten about in the story so its nice to see that someone bts fought for that not to happen.

• sydney's chicago food tour. the cinematography was STUNNING during these sequences. i read someone say that those moments felt like such a deliberate love letter to the culinary industry and i wholeheartedly agree like it made me SO happy to see.

•  the christmas bottle episode. listen. LISTEN. if you have ever lived in or been subjected to a nuclear family/household that operated like that, i know you watched that entire episode with a pit in your stomach. it was devastating and poetic and maddening and SO deeply fucking impactful. it painted the perfect picture of exactly why michael, natalie and carmy are the way they are. i SOBBED. and i lightweight think that's the episode that's giving this season such critical acclaim and the 100% on rotten tomatoes. it was SO strong and sooooo deeply harrowing.

• natalie's presence. i love her. just her being around was so comforting to to me. i enjoyed how sweet she was to fak.

• tina singing. they still underused her but i loved seeing her shine outside of her element and having the full support of her classmates. i love confidence baring moments for characters who've struggled, felt second or been ignored. that moment and sydney asking her to be sous were so special!

• the “bears are aggressive but sensitive, compassionate, deeply empathic” line. i've thought about it several times since finishing the season. because wow. also richie's dialogue about purpose. olivia coleman's character's conversation with richie about rebirth and timing. there are so many gorgeous lines that speak to the ingrained grief, brevity, import, ability and power of this human experience and all its many facets. the writer's really do SUCH a wondrous job highlighting the humanity of it's characters and their struggles, obstacles and heartache.

• the fucking chocolate banana. i absolutely CRIED. they need to stop playing around and calling this show a comedy because c'mon. that was such a good callback for cisero and richie.

•  pete crying. when i tell you that shit was so deeply powerful. to see him hurting so acutely for natalie. knowing how much he loves her and how much her mother's conditions impacted her entire life. so much so that she hadn't even known nat was pregnant. like that scene GUTTED me. the actor only had .3 scenes this season but that one was an absolute stand out.

• ayo's performance. this girl is an ACTOR. like i know she's a writer and a comedian but she is SO exquisite in the role of sydney. i'm endlessly enamored.

what i didn't like:

• them completely dropping the ball on ebra's storyline. so he disappears for WEEKS from fear and then returns and has a 3 second convo with tina? and then is all of a sudden back in an apron in the kitchen. please don't piss me off. wasteful.

• lack of gary screentime. he should have had as much screentime as fak minus the christmas episode. sidelining two of the black men was foolish and wholly unnecessary.

• the AMOUNT of claire/carmy scenes. like i totally get it. i get why it had to happen, i get the point they were trying to make and the consequences they were driving home but the sheer enormity of the claire/carmy scenes and how LONG they were was dumb. we could have been shown carmy was distracted/absent without having to see those two together for these elongated ass scenes. and them kissing in front of the fireworks? like GAG me. PLEASE BE SERIOUS RN.

• i need to see my babies breaking bread and having found family dinner at least once per season, if not more. thx.

this is just part 1, part 2 will be carmy/sydney focused.

[melvin-dukowski]

Battletech eras.

Age of War: It’s the future and space colonization has given way to pseudo-feudalism and outright feudalism. This means the many different nation states are de facto controlled by one family and or a bunch of megacorporations. Because we have big scary warships we fight wars by parking our fleet above a planet and blasting it from orbit until they surrender or are all dead. Because everyone realized that border skirmishes shouldn’t result in millions dead we end up with the Ares Convention which outlines rules of war but also effectively legalizes it. Because demilitarization is only something hippies who believe in “human rights” want, all the Great Houses begin looking into alternate ways to kill each other without scaling back military spending. Some mullet having asshole back on Terra (Earth) decides to sink all the budget on some 100ton walker called the Mackie. Despite being kind of bad it did well enough to enter production. Thus beginning the Age of the BattleMech. Everyone immediately gets back to beating each other up over basically nothing.

Star League: A while later a descendant of the mullet having asshole named Ian Cameron is named Captain-Director general of the Terran Hegemony. An idealist, he wants to bring about an era of peace and cooperation. After annoying the other five houses enough they agree and Star League is born. A sort of EU type arrangement. They build up a singular military called the SLDF so the house militaries don’t need to be so big. Now that the Inner Sphere is together in peace Ian Cameron decides the one thing he hates more than war is those filthy rednecks out in the Periphery who won’t join his club, beginning a massive war against the different Periphery nations. One named the Taurian Concordat holds out for about 20 years and the SLDF resorts to nuclear genocide to finally defeat them. After that things are mostly smooth sailing for 200 years unless you’re in the Periphery, then you pay double tax and have no pay. This comes to an end when an asshole named Stefan Amaris kills the current ruler of the Star League and the entire royal family. The SLDF was out in the Periphery fighting a rebellion at the time so Amaris actually takes control. Deciding this is bullshit, the SLDF’s leader Aleksander Kerensky launches a blitzkrieg on Amaris’s own fiefdom. Thus beginning a 14 year long civil war where the SLDF and Amaris’s army beat seven shades of hell out of each other while the house lords just sit and do nothing. It ends with Kerensky’s forces liberating Terra and bringing Amaris to justice, but it’s clear that the Star League is dead

Succession Wars: With the Cameron family exterminated and the SLDF exhausted the Great Houses decide to strip Kerensky of his rank and formally dissolve the League. Kerensky is too principled to take power himself and tell the Great Houses to get back in line but smart enough to know that they’re all gearing up for the mother of all wars. He decides to take the third option. Him and 80% of the remaining SLDF fucks off into deep space along with as many wmds and advanced military hardware they can. The former communications office of the Star League also forms the ComStar corporation which may or may not become a religion. With Kerensky gone and a whole lot of real estate up for grabs the Great Houses begin a long series of wars. The first two see unrestrained war crimes and mass industrial destruction. By the time the third had started a lot of technology was gone and the overall tech level regressed a few centuries. The third sees mostly skirmishes and low intensity slap fighting for over a hundred years. The tabletop game’s main timeline starts around this point at the end. Then they find some stored tech and reverse the decline, and two of the houses unify and begin a fourth war to style on everyone else. Everyone prepares for a fifth for about a decade until...

Clan Invasion: Okay so remember the SLDF? Well the exiles settled a some worlds out there and after a bunch of drama the son of Kerensky created the Clans. A revolutionary society based on a caste system, eugenics and Call of Duty. They actually advance technology, breed 8ft tall super soldiers and make cool mechs that are OP compared to what ever trash the Inner Sphere’s got. They scout out with a fake merc company that ends up going native not giving back reports to the Clans so they decide to invade. Because using less resources is more honorable they only allow four clans to invade with three in reserve. The invasion steam rolls at first but 1v1 me scrub isn’t sound military strategy and logistics become a nightmare. The Clans would declare what they were going to attack and with what forces, and were shocked when the defenders would lie about what they were going to counter with. Meaning the Clans would get kited by guys in swamp buggies sometimes. Eventually the totally not a cult phone company stops the invasion by issuing a “fair fight” where the phone company just grinds the Clans down. The Clans are salty about this and begin in fighting which sees Clan Wolf split into Clan Mary Sue (good) and Clan Mary Sue (evil). The rest of the Inner Sphere recreates the Star League to beat the shit out of the clans, specifically Smoke Jaguar for being warcrime happy. They finally style on the Clans on their home turf and so ends the Clan Invasion

FedCom Civil War: Did you know that royalty is usually not a stable way for good leadership? Well two of the successors to the Steiner-Davion marriage end up being generic cold hearted bitch and generic luke skywalker clone so it was always gonna end up in violence. Just as the Davions and Steiners made their marriage everyone’s problem they also made their divorce everyone’s problem. The Free Worlds League and Capellan Confederation take back their stolen turf and the remaining Clans solidify their position. Jade Falcon rebuilds its man power by raiding science labs for recruits and the green warriors get to cut their teeth on actual combat, Ghost Bear gets super into Space Sweden and the two get hitched, both Wolves mostly try to out do one another, Diamond Shark makes bank and Nova Cat are a bunch of weebs. Ice Hellion attempts and fails and Hell’s Horses attempt and somewhat succeed.

Wars of Reaving: Basically the writers realized there’s too many clans. Basically the Clans were beyond salty about the failure of an invasion and it boils over in an orgy of warcrimes. After deciding the treaties were bullshit they elect a new ilKhan in Brett Andrews. Instead of beginning a new invasion he decides to go off on about “taint” and begins a campaign to purge other Clans. The Wolves, Jade Falcons, Ghost Bears, Hell’s Horses, Snow Ravens, Goliath Scorpions, and Diamond Sharks are told to fuck off. Fire Mandrill falls apart, Burrock is absorbed, Ice Hellion is also absorbed into Goliath Scorpion, while Blood Spirit and (ironically) Steel Viper are annihilated.

Jihad: Because the Star League was useless in stopping the FedCom civil war it disbands. This pisses of a splinter group of ComStar called the World of Blake. They split off because ComStar was totally not a cult and people who thought so can go fuck off and they made a direct competitor. But the WoBbies are fuckers and through a nuclear tantrum. They unleash nuclear, chemical and biological weapons and an army of fancy mechs and cyborgs. It’s a vaguely defined era of extreme violence that only ends when a dude named Devlin Stone unifies everyone else to buttfuck the WoB into next weak with nukes. Stone then creates the Republic of the Sphere in and around Terra.

Dark Age: This era kinda sucks. The writers thought they were bringing things back to basics by making things go to the succession wars style of setting. Basically a 50 year peace time falls apart and communications go dark so everyones back to fighting. All your favorite characters are either dead or geriatric and not a whole lot of interest really happens. Goliath Scorpions nation build a bit in the deep Periphery but thats about it.

ilClan: The current era. Basically Wolf and Jade Falcon invaded the Republic of the Sphere cause it was falling apart. They duke it out in Canada over who gets to be the top clan. Because Wolf can’t loose they win and become ilClan, the leaders of a third Star League. Jade Falcon becomes a body guard clan and Smoke Jaguar are revived for reasons. Hell’s Horses are mad because they didn’t get a chance to fight, Ghost Bear doesn’t care, Sea Fox (nee Diamond Shark) are making money still and Clan Mary Sue (good) are reabsorbed and now Wolf is the ultimate Mary Sue. People start beating up on their former occupation zone.

[jeff-from-marketing]

Oh hey this blog exists!

So Paizo just introduced a new ruling for Pathfinder 2e that allows players to effectively completely decouple stat bonuses from ancestries, letting players do whatever. Personally I think this is a great change for a variety of reasons, but this has brought up an argument that doesn’t sit right with me. Never has.

In short, it’s the argument of “stop bringing real world politics into my games!”

I understand where this is coming from, the world is a scary place sometimes and it’s nice to have a space to escape it all entirely. Though unfortunately this argument is often used by those who simply aren’t the greatest kind of people, and often have some level of bigotry or general bias against certain groups of people. But I’m not here to talk about that, not now at least.

No, what I want to talk about is the idea that media just simply should not have any form of politics in it what-so-ever. Now ignoring the fact that this stifles out so much potential for storytelling for a moment, you cannot have media without politics. Well, you can, but you’re probably playing Solitaire. And I’m sure there’s some cultural context there that I’m unaware of that someone could bring up and prove me wrong on that front. 

See, the thing is: art and media are made by people. People have political views on things. People will often put those views into their work, most often subconsciously without fully realising, but also sometimes very much intentionally. People tend to create (and go to) media that aligns with their own ideologies. You’re not going to find someone that’s gay producing media that puts something like conversion therapy in a positive light for example. The thing is, media never became political, nor did it ever stop being political. People just don’t want politics that don’t align with their own politics being involved.

To rattle off a few examples (and probably preach to the choir a little)

Lancer, an RPG that heavily condemns capitalism, the concept of “infinite growth,” war, etc. But also heavily promotes full autonomy of your body, being allowed to do whatever you’d like with it. Including becoming a catgirl. This is canon.

Cyberpunk, both the genre and the Mike Pondsmith setting. I shouldn’t even have to elaborate on this, but it’s absolutely an indictment on capitalism and rampant consumerism, as well as being a warning as to what happens when corporations and the rich get too much power. Not to mention topics of transhumanism and the sense of self.

Star Trek, again I should not have to elaborate on this one. From the very beginning it’s been absolutely filled to the brim with politics covering so many different topics.

His Dark Materials, absolutely contains commentary against organised religion.

Metal Gear Solid and Metal Gear Rising, hell the former is all about espionage for fuck’s sake, and the latter has the main antagonist being a US senator who wants to Make America Great Again through war profiteering, and is again absolutely a statement on the military industrial complex.

Dungeons & Dragons, has one hell of a loaded political history if you look into it (satanic panic, anyone?) to say nothing of more recent controversies.

Fallout, do people really think the saying “War. War never changes.” is just there to sound cool? Seriously, not even going to question the world coming to an end through nuclear war? No?

Baldur’s Gate 3, has a whole thing involving an encampment of druids and tiefling refugees seeking asylum. 

Divinity: Original Sin 2, once again going against organised religion.

The Witcher, I should really only need to bring up the elves to make my point here, but there’s a lot more than just that.

I’m going to stop there for the safety of my own sanity, but hopefully you get the idea. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but even just this small list spans roughly 60 years, I probably could go a lot further back if I took the effort to do so. Media didn’t suddenly start becoming political, and media won’t stop being political. Because all media is political. To truly think that should not be the case, is to say we should not have art.

[back-and-totheleft]

While in New York City promoting the release of Nuclear Now, Oliver Stone and screenwriter Joshua S. Goldstein (who is a PhD professor) sat down with Screen Rant to discuss their film, its themes, and the virtues of nuclear energy. They spoke about how companies like Shell and Exxon knew about climate change back in the 1960s but did nothing to stop it, placing their profits before the future of the planet. They also discussed overblown fears regarding nuclear power plants and their supposed environmental dangers.

Screen Rant: I'm thinking back to try and remember when I first heard of nuclear energy and nuclear weapons. Warren Smith had a song called "Uranium Rock," which is about mining for Uranium like the next gold rush. There was this brief window where nuclear power was absolutely going to be the future.

Oliver Stone: I love that. We should have kept going on that path, and we'd be out of the woods now.

Screen Rant: Had things turned out differently, what would carbon emissions be today?

Joshua S. Goldstein: Pretty close to zero. The heart of the problem is the fossil fuel economy, globally. And the emissions from that. We wouldn't have that problem. The United States was planning to have no carbon for electricity by the turn of the century, and we think the rest of the world would have followed suit.

Oliver Stone: Historically, this was a big deal. The fact that America detoured away from it is shocking. I think, to historians of the future, I don't think it's going to be overlooked.

Screen Rant: I think we'll look at this fossil fuel era as the dark ages.

Oliver Stone: [Laughs] If we get out of it.

Screen Rant: There was a perfect storm of circumstances that conspired to take down nuclear energy. I don't like to use the word "conspired," but it just crushed nuclear power.

Oliver Stone: It seemed like God's destiny or something. But you're right. In the beginning, in the 40s, it was horribly conflated with nuclear war. Nuclear power is not like nuclear war at all. Different origins. Different. At the beginning, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that was a shame and a real disgrace, that we dropped those bombs, may Harry Truman be damned…

Screen Rant: As documented in your show, The Untold History of the United States.

Oliver Stone: Oh, you saw that? Bravo! I wasn't knowledgeable on that growing up. I should have been. It was my generation that screwed it up. It was guys like me and women like Jane Fonda who came along and we were mis-educated.

Joshua S. Goldstein: And there were all the films in the 50s…

Oliver Stone: That was a little before me. I'm not responsible for that! The radioactive monsters… So many of them. Great films, too! All those creatures, what the fuck were they? It was all scary shit, right? Then the United States embraced war, in Vietnam. In response, that generation brought into the idea of peace at any price. But they didn't get their information correct, and I don't know why that is. I don't know why there was no Einstein to emerge and go, "Hey guys, wake up!" I'd love to research that more. Why wasn't there somebody to question all this, when The China Syndrome came out.

Screen Rant: Your film doesn't lean into the idea of the fossil fuel and oil industries doing what we expect them to do.

Oliver Stone: We take the point of view of Rod Adams, who said it wasn't conspiracy. It was simply business. Have you read the recent reports about Shell Oil? They knew all about this back in the 70s and buried it. There's a whole court case coming up. It's a big one. They're suing the sh** out of them. They are responsible. They knew climate change was coming, but they wanted to make money. Now, can oil help us? Yeah! I think they still can help us. They make all kinds of products. Like sweaters, clothing, plastics, and they can be cooperative in this. They won't go out of business. They'll find a new way of doing it!

Joshua S. Goldstein: The next thing for oil companies to do is deep geothermal wells. They're good at digging underground for geothermal power. But there's a whole attitude about finding what's underground, and part of it is storing carbon down there and part of it is finding heat for geothermal, and part of it fossil fuel. I heard another thing where they take nuclear power to process kelp. Lots of kelp. Seaweed, into something that looks like crude oil to a refinery. And you feed that into the refinery.

After that, all the products you produce are carbon neutral because you used seaweed! And oil companies can still refine and sell that, instead of trying to switch it all over, it's just making gas differently, making diesel differently. There's a number of technologies… You use nuclear energy for a big shot at the start of the process, but you end up something that looks like diesel that you put in your pick up truck, or aviation fuel for planes. We don't know which of these may pan out in the future.

Screen Rant: The industry was stunted before it could be applied to fueling alternatives, even alternatives to itself. I think we talk about wind and solar being the future, but nuclear was the future 70 years ago. Can you talk about whether wind or solar have the capacity to sustain us?

Joshua S. Goldstein: You can't run a grid them alone. People say, "Well, batteries are getting cheaper," and that's true, but the scale doesn't add up for trying to run the world on batteries charged by wind and solar. They're great as part of the grid, and you can fill in around them when they're not producing. But if you've got a grid powered by wind and solar and it's not sunny and windy that day, you have nothing, and sometimes that can last for weeks. How are you going to run the entire grid for weeks? Batteries are orders of magnitude off from what we can build and afford now, since mining is very intensive for batteries.

Hydro-electric is great from a climate point of view, but it does flood valleys and destroy ecosystems. Then there's natural gas hovering in the background. The oil companies are like, "Yeah, it's a renewable future" and they have wind and solar all over the front of their websites, but then behind it, when they're not producing, they'll burn natural gas. "Clean" natural gas. It's not clean. It's producing carbon and methane. It's a very powerful greenhouse gas, but not as long-lived as carbon dioxide. I see so much natural gas advertising, how it's part of a "clean" solution, but it isn't. If you're sitting in Pennsylvania, on top of all the frakking fields, then natural gas is pretty cheap. But in South Korea or Japan, they have to import the LNG (liquefied natural gas), and that's pretty expensive.

Oliver Stone: Who's making the most money in America from shipping the LNG? Do you know?

Joshua S. Goldstein: I'm not sure. But the big oil companies. That industry is fragmented with companies you've never heard of that are making piles of money. There's independent producers, then there's the big ones. There's a big company that runs an LNG import terminal in Massachusetts, where we've phased out nuclear power. It's where I live. So, I look up, who owns this big solar array near where I live. It's the biggest one in Massachusetts. Who owns this? It's a big LNG import company. Why would they be building a solar field?

Screen Rant: The front door says "solar," but they're letting all the natural gas in through a side door when no one's looking.

Joshua S. Goldstein: When solar isn't producing, which is most of the time… Actually, in Massachusetts, our capacity factor, the percent of the theoretical capacity that's produced on average is 13%. So most of the time, it's not producing. And when it's not producing, that's when natural gas comes in. It makes sense for them. Put solar out there, and it's cheap when it produces, but most of the time it doesn't. So now we're 3/4 methane. A few decades ago, Massachusetts was 1/4 coal, 1/4 nuclear, 1/4 natural gas, and then 1/4 everything else. They phased out coal and nuclear entirely, the dirtiest thing and the cleanest thing. Now it's just 3/4 natural gas. We haven't de-carbonized at all.

Screen Rant: Right now there's a whole thing about the waste water at Indian Point, where the local protests stopped them from dumping water into the Hudson. Is that water dangerous?

Joshua S. Goldstein: I would drink that water. It's the most ridiculously tiny amount of radioactivity. People think radioactivity is a 'yes or no' thing. Like, one bite from a radioactive spider will turn you into Spider-Man. But it doesn't work that way. We're bathed in radiation all the time. This room is full of it. Nuclear power doesn't add much. Background radiation varies a lot from one place to another. In Denver, Colorado, it's twice what it is here at sea level in New York. And yet there's no health effects from that variation.

This tritium that they want to dump, they want to dump water that has tiny amounts of tritium, is a tiny fraction of that difference between Denver and New York. We know that it's not an amount that can have any effect. Tritium is in EXIT signs, like that one over there. The total amount they want to dump from Indian Point is greatly diluted and gets safer every day from radioactive decay. The total amount is about equal to one of those EXIT signs, roughly. We're around tritium all the time. It's something that can be written as, "Radioactive water dumped into our natural sources!"

Oliver Stone: These websites turn out these articles, like CounterPunch, they turn out everything anti-nuclear. They believe this sh** because they give you so many numbers they can convince you.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Tritium is so weakly radioactive. It produces low-energy electrons. Yes, it's radioactive, it throws off electrons, but the electrons won't go through a couple inches of air. It won't penetrate skin. It's just like a version of hydrogen. It passes through the body like any water does. It doesn't accumulate in the body. If they put it in the Hudson River, it will be so diluted, it will have no effect.

Screen Rant: So, it's not a case where as soon as they dump it, the fish will all rise to the surface with Xs over their eyes.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Right. It's just fear. We have fears of radioactivity from movies in the 50s, and then from Silkwood and those kinds of films. If they can ping those fears, they can raise money on it, politicians can get votes off it, but I'd drink it.

Screen Rant: What about stuff like spent fuel and more immediate byproducts? They bury that, right?

Joshua S. Goldstein: Well, they were going to bury it in Yucca Mountain. Finland is actually building a repository similar to Yucca Mountain to bury it. We put it in "dry casks." Concrete casks, 18 feet high. Concrete. It stops the radiation. I've stood right next to them with no protective gear at all. They don't leak. They're safe for 100 years in that form. While we go about solving Climate Change…

Oliver Stone: [Laughs] Then we can worry about it.

Joshua S. Goldstein: After we solve Climate Change, either bury them like Finland is doing, or turn them into fuel for new reactors.

Screen Rant: They can be recycled?

Joshua S. Goldstein: Yeah.

Oliver Stone: Waste is very carefully managed because there's a small amount of it. It's watched. There's not one piece of waste that's out there. Whereas oil and coal, there's a lot of waste. A lot of waste. And solar batteries.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Cadmium, mercury. Solar Panels have all these minerals that are mined. It's very difficult to mine. And they're turned into solar panels in China, in Xinjiang, where the genocide is going on.

Oliver Stone: What genocide? Oh, you're going with that? Okay. But listen, you understand, as a filmmaker, how can you resist this story? It's important! With this turnaround that's happened. If there was no turnaround, if we just became nuclear-powered, we would be rather passive about all of it. It would become uneventful. In France, when I was shooting there, there's lots of people who don't even know there's a nuclear plant there, but they're happy it works. But it doesn't cross their consciousness.

Screen Rant: A great scene in your film is the Three Mile Island incident. There was a meltdown tragedy averted because it was evidence that the safety precautions worked.

Oliver Stone: Key is the guy who says, "They never tell us the truth, it's worse than they're telling you."

Screen Rant: We look at coal and natural gas as the devil we know, even though it's so much more destructive than nuclear. Young people don't have a whole lot to look forward to in this world, but we won't have a planet at that point if we don't change things now.

Oliver Stone: We'll have a planet, but it will be ruined. Or close to ruined. I wonder where we'll go. Maybe the South Seas. I'm not sure. I don't know where to go.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Oliver, maybe you can go to South Pacific ahead of time and check and see if it's safe for the rest of us.

Oliver Stone: The scientist in the film says, "It's a shame Nuclear didn't come along until later, in the 80s, because it wouldn't have been so resisted. It's important to have more accidents, actually. (Laughs) We'd understand that it's like a plane crash. Planes have to develop into better planes. There's a need for accidents, for any industry to grow.

Screen Rant: I wrote that in my notes before it came up in the film. We hear about every plane crash, but flying is still the safest way to travel. Yes, Chernobyl was a terribly mismanaged incident, and that mismanagement was what led to the massive loss of life. The thing I'm worried about with regard to nuclear power is Material Unaccounted For.

Oliver Stone: Yeah, that senator, what was his name… From Georgia… Sam Nunn. When the Soviet Union went down, they had to account for all the nuclear material. There was a rush. For example, Kazakhstan was part of the Soviet Union and had a load of material, so George Bush or whoever ran over there and said, "Hey, give it to us!" Ya know

Joshua S. Goldstein: When the Soviet Union fell apart, there were weapons all over the place.

Oliver Stone: Ukraine gave theirs back to the Soviet Union. They had a good leader at that time, Kuchma.

Joshua S. Goldstein: There was a rush to scoop up all the nuclear material and the weapons and bring them back.

Oliver Stone: What about the missing stuff that he's scared of? The stuff that's gonna fall into Iranian hands or something?

Joshua S. Goldstein: They collected all this stuff and it culminates when they take megatons of Soviet weapons, downblend the fuel, and run American reactors on them for about 15 years. Half of all the nuclear power in the USA was running off these Soviet warheads.

Oliver Stone: What do they do to the fuel?

Joshua S. Goldstein: They downblend it, so instead of "highly enriched" uranium, it goes all the way down to 5%. You take something and turn it from one into twenty. It's downgraded that way. We ran our reactors for 15 years on it. Nobody really knew about it. It's called 'megatons to megawatts.' The downside of it was, it discouraged the US fro making more of our own nuclear fuel. After that, we just kept on buying nuclear fuel from the Russians. Sam Nunn was all involved with that. As for the Materials Unaccounted For, the idea that this low-enriched Uranium would get out and someone could make it into a bomb, it hasn't been an issue. If you want to make a bomb, you have to enrich Uranium.

Screen Rant: Which not a lot of people have the capacity to do.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Right. Iran is a major country with a big program, all those centrifuges enriching uranium. You can do it. You can get there. Pakistan and India have civilian nuclear power, and it's separate from their military program for weapons. A civilian nuclear power plant is not useful for making weapons.

Oliver Stone: It's never happened. You can't say that it's ever happened.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Then Israel and North Korea, big proliferators, creating nuclear weapons…

Oliver Stone: I'm curious, why did Israel develop nuclear weapons but not nuclear power plants?

Joshua S. Goldstein: I think they wanted to keep their nuclear technology for their weapons program, which they were keeping secret, so they didn't want a public facing…

Oliver Stone: But it would be two different departments.

Joshua S. Goldstein: That's how it is in India and Pakistan. I can't answer you on Israeli policy. South Korea was going to build nuclear weapons, but they chose civilian nuclear power because they couldn't do both over the international framework. Israel dropped out of the framework and made weapons, but South Korea… Sweden, too, they were pursuing nuclear weapons, but decided, they're not really much use, let's build power plants instead.

Screen Rant: Regarding how you can't weaponize a nuclear plant, we saw Russia occupy Chernobyl. What, if anything, could they have done? It felt, at the time, like nuclear blackmail.

Joshua S. Goldstein: Chernobyl is on the road straight into Kyiv, so that's why they went through there. There were all these stories about Russian soldiers digging through the Chernobyl dirt and how it's going to irradiate them and all this terrible stuff, but nothing ever materialized. It was just a lot of fear. Anytime Chernobyl's back in the picture. And the same thing is with the Zaporizhzhia plant in Ukraine, which Russia is currently occupying. But they had shut the plant down

Oliver Stone: And it's encased in concrete, right?

Joshua S. Goldstein: Yes. The safest place to be in a warzone is in a nuclear plant!

You can conjure up scenarios where a bunker-buster bomb could breach containment and you'd end up with some low-level radioactivity spreading around. It's easy to map because you can measure very small measures of radioactivity, but that doesn't mean it's having any harmful effects.

Oliver Stone: Is that the one-in-a-million shot?

Joshua S. Goldstein: Yes. My parents were biological scientists, and they used radioactive tracers to follow molecules around the body and see where they end up. Just low-level radiation.

Screen Rant: I can't tell if you're just exploring the science or if you have a storytelling idea.

Joshua S. Goldstein: This is beyond the movie, but I've been thinking about the topic we broach in the movie briefly about what happened in the 1940s and 50s when there was this scientific fraud to make people afraid of radiation. That's a story about finding the lie. The Rockefeller Foundation was the main funder of science, not the government. They put all their money into creating the idea that low-level radiation is dangerous.

Oliver Stone: As Rod Adams says, he doesn't think it was conspiracy, he thinks it was business. The interesting thing, now, is that we discovered the Shell oil papers from those days. They knew in the 1960s that Climate Change was here, but they kept doing what they were doing, which makes them possibly liable in this new mentality we have of courtroom legal warfare. Lawfare. Maybe they can go after Shell or Exxon, because they knew. They explored the future.

-Zak Wojnar, ScreenRant, May 3 2023 [x]

[qqueenofhades]

seriously HOW are the Squad™️ so fucking stupid? they HAD to have known how their letter was going to be viewed by putin and the gop and every citizen of the country actively fighting for their existence rn (not to mention how it was going reflect upon their party with midterms and the house race so close) - who in the WORLD thought that writing and releasing this letter was a good idea?

Evidently even the Congressional Progressive Caucus themselves realized that it was a big fat turd, because they've already tried to withdraw it, and Jamie Raskin (who I otherwise respect, especially for his work on the January 6 committee) issued this statement. Which about accurately sums it up, but Jamie, my man, if you knew all this, why did you sign that terrible letter in the first place??? Especially with Kevin McCarthy running his idiot mouth about cutting support for Ukraine if the GOP (god forbid) wins control of Congress. If you're agreeing with Qevin on anything, it's time for a serious rethink.

Unfortunately, I believe that a number of the Squad do privately hold in some degree to the leftist/tankie belief that This Is An Unjust U.S. Proxy War, because the U.S. invaded Iraq that one time, it was very clearly a war crime, and so when Putin does the exact same thing but even worse, something something if the U.S. government opposes it, it must be a good or at least somehow justifiable thing. Believe me, I am NO apologist for the American military-industrial complex, and anyone who reads my blog knows that I blast the American government for the actual bad things that it does on a daily basis. But if the extent of your moral reasoning is that "war is bad, war supported by America is bad, and therefore we should tell the people fighting for their survival that they should just Stop and Be Nice and Talk to the guy who has said at every opportunity that he wants to wipe out their entire existence while his troops commit war crimes by the bushel," that is. Not Good. It dresses up old colonial-era arguments about how the resistance is the problem, and if they just stopped fighting the colonizer, there would be peace, so if those ungrateful natives insist on their own sovereignty, they're the actual problem. Not the actual invader and imperialist power who's actively destroying them, who they can't stop resisting if they don't want to be eradicated, but the people trying to stop that destruction. Right.

I don't know what anyone is smoking if they think they can just get Putin in a room and "talk to him" and he'll suddenly agree that oh yes, the entire strategy that I've pursued for 20+ increasingly autocratic years in sole power is wrong, my bad. As nice as it sounds, there's no way that, as circumstances stand, anyone can reach a "negotiated settlement" that everyone's happy with and allows for a "sovereign Ukraine." Putin and his warmongers have said over and over that they think there is no such thing, and have proved it by their actions. Why on earth do you think the current iteration of the Russian Federation would respect ANYTHING it signed, when it has arrantly broken international law left and right and faced no real consequences? Not to mention, suggesting a ceasefire right now, when Ukraine is having considerable success on the counterattack, only gives Russia time to regroup, regather its forces, and invade again next spring. We all want the war to end, so why the hell would you try to freeze it, stop Ukraine from the progress it's making, and let Russia get its breath and try again? That will only make it longer! Besides, it will also turn it into a "frozen conflict" of the type that Russia is deliberately maintaining in Georgia and Moldova, and which keeps those states out of NATO/the EU because they don't have territorial integrity or full control of their borders. It's a cheap and easy maneuver that's worked many times before, so of course they would do it to Ukraine!

"Nobody wants a nuclear war!!!" everyone says. Okay! No they don't! So why doesn't somebody Nicely Tell That to Putin, who has resorted to threatening to use nuclear weapons at almost every opportunity? Ukraine doesn't even HAVE them; they gave up their share of the USSR-era nukes in 1994 in exchange for security guarantees to respect the result of their independence referendum in 1991. Which, we might note, has not happened. Putin is the only person who consistently uses nuclear blackmail, then blames the West for "escalating tensions," which, again, has been his go-to move since he came to power, and plays on literal centuries of Russian grievances and Russian reactionary sentiment against the West. I cannot believe that people are actually taking any Kremlin narratives about this war remotely seriously, but they are, and there's a huge appetite for Russian propaganda on the American left, because it makes the U.S. establishment look bad and that's as far as their critical thinking extends. No matter that Putin is an old-school, orthodox, imperialist fascist, has repeatedly interfered in American electoral processes and other democratic nation-states all over the world in order to very successfully destabilize them, and the current Republican party are big fans of him not only since he clearly has Trump under his thumb as a controlled intelligence asset, but because they clearly recognize that his goals and methods mirror their own.

Anyway, maybe it's because I do actually know a damn thing about Russian history and Russian ambitions/narratives/justifications, but yeah, I can't believe that people who call themselves liberals and leftists are falling over themselves to help Putin out, and implicitly (and oftentimes explicitly) agree with the idea that Ukraine is to blame for resisting, instead of just rolling over and letting itself be conquered. Right now, Ukraine is almost totally dependent on U.S. financial and military aid to keep existing at all (there are other contributors, but America is the biggest one), and since every settlement liberated from the Russians reveals evidence of massive war crimes, maybe, uh, understand why they can't talk to the people who are busily trying to conduct genocide on them for absolutely no reason other than Putin's grandiose imperial delusions? Refusing a dialogue which will be absolutely pointless anyway does not mean they're Not Trying For Peace, which the international order prizes every time over justice.

Anyway. It was a stupid fucking letter, it made me very mad, I don't know whose stupid fucking idea it was, I'm glad it got pulled, and glad as well that Biden has said about half a dozen times in the last 24 hours that unyielding support for Ukraine is still the order of the day. I am in despair over the so-called critical thinking skills of the Online Leftists and their cohorts in Congress, but then, I usually am, so hey.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE SH ACTOR AU (per ur tags on the sh1 post), PWEASE,

LITCHERALLY SHAKES AND CRIES AND MOUTHBREATHES SO HEAVILY THANK YOU

SO i wrote a little bit a while ago, and there's even some art i did to go with it, as well as a piece i commissioned in its honor

however A LOT has changed since then lmao like So Much it's kinda insane. the first post i linked has a lot of incorrect information now, BUT i thought i'd slap it there for some basic ideas, and reiterate what’s still true here as well

THE STORY GOES that, because i love my own work, Get Out Of My Town (GOOMT) has been adapted into a Netflix series from the books series themselves. (yes; GOOMT is a published book series. how blessed and unfortunate for everyone ur welcome. WHICH LEADS TO AN

IMPORTANT NOTE: i, as the author, actually have no place in this. i don’t put myself in it at all, like i wrote it, published, and then fucked off lmao just blip bye y’all can deal with this LOL - not the “death” of the author but. yeah i’m just not involved, like an absent parent. this is ur problem, enjoy)

it’s advertised as a “inspired by Konami’s Silent Hill series” and some other legal mumbo jumbo that makes this possible, and to reiterate, it’s an adaptation of GOOMT. because of this it’s a little controversial on the notes that the two main male characters will end up in a romance; the various, deeply uncomfortable themes; why tf Netflix is choosing to take this big a risk; why the hell it’s getting a TV adaptation in the first place, etc.

so it’s getting a bit of publicity, to say the least.

there are four seasons planned, though, of course, the future of it is hinged on its success. they will move on to shoot s2 if it does well.

WELL GUESS WHAT IT SURE DOES AND HOWDY DO HERE COMES SEASON 2

(ALSO ALSO IMPORTANT NOTE: for ease and to avoid confusion, i refer to the actors (who actually have real person names) as their characters - even when they haven’t been cast yet.)

WE GONNA NEED A CUT HERE MY GOOD SUCKERS SO AWAAAAY WE GO

(no like seriously there's so much text under here lmao rip in fucking pieces all ye who dare enter)

the director cast a C-list character actor to play Harry, whose resume largely consists of minor roles in TV and barely known by name, more by “hey it’s that guy!”, and a new and upcoming actor to play James, who, thanks to his debut comedy film, has suddenly rocketed into fame and the public eye.

naturally, casting James for such a serious role directly after cementing himself as a comedy actor has people scratching their heads and already saying he’s going to nuclear bomb it. he’s brand spanking new to the big time entertainment industry, possibly on the way to being an A-lister, and he’s gonna risk career death already??? ur fuckin nuts but ok sure whatever dude

the doubts that he can even go on an Ambien-powered DREAM of doing a small serious role any justice are high, as when digging into his resume, his theatre credits are primarily comedic roles. he’s shown himself as pretty relaxed and funny as person in interviews while, to his merit, holding an air of maturity. he’s very fun and interesting to interview, and his social media is rather chill. he posts every few days, answers fan questions and general interaction, does the occasional expected promotions, his pictures/videos are a total delight, and seems to be taking near-instant fame pretty damn well.

James has loads of nerdy interests, mostly in prop replica, but include collecting playing card and baseball card decks, preservation of Las Vegas history, gambling machines (including pachinko! but not as much as American machines; and no, he’s not a gambler), SPAAAACE, and the evolution of toys.

on the other side of the concert hall, also casting an essentially no-name actor to play his first huge role is getting some chatter. people’ve dug up Harry’s credits and done some nitpicking, many believing that there’s no way he has the actual talent and range to do barely a pebble’s throw of a good a job as other main listers could. there were rumors of other well-knowns potentially slated to take on the role of Harry Mason, which were obviously all just that: rumors.

some speculate that he was chosen thanks to his SURPRISINGLY CONVENIENT natural, deep widow’s peak hairline, AND his left-handedness. (imagine that. what a coincidence. wow. what good luck indeed!!) Harry obviously nailed the auditions and if he didn’t, he was ready to retire from acting. he’s been in the business for decades, was tired of the small character roles. he stopped looking for his Big Break a long long time ago, and suddenly he’s Harrison Ford’ing it by getting a leading role in a Netflix show. Whew.

he hasn’t gotten to do an interview yet, only releasing a statement about how pumped he is (with some old photo from one of his TV roles for reference), so the public is left wondering what kind of a guy he is until he’s sitting across from some journalist.

so these are pretty gutsy casting choices, which pushes more publicity and anticipation onto GOOMT, ensuring a healthy viewership for, at the very least, the first episode. phase 1 of evil genius complete. suckers

James is 25 to his role’s 27; Harry’s 43 to his role’s 48. they tried to intentionally cast a bit younger without jeopardizing the “wrong look” of their characters, thinking ahead that, should GOOMT get its four planned seasons, it’s going to take years to shoot, and so James and Harry will age and “grow” into the look/age of their characters.

(this thought process was based on the evolution of the cast of Stranger Things; no, the adults didn’t really have much differences in their appearances to show for in terms of age during the years it took to shoot, and they of course have modern makeup to fix any problems, but they are working against time. this sounds very confusing and contradictory to the above “they have time to grow into their characters so cast young” to a lot of critics and such, but the director is so fucking weird that people have given up on trying to figure that one out.)

other changes include dyeing James’s hair from auburn to blond (which will then be decided that he’ll be wearing a wig to avoid killing his hair lmao), and dyeing the correct grey pattern into Harry’s naturally dark brown hair. neither have to wear contacts, as WOW LUCKILY ENOUGH, James bears green eyes, and Harry, brown. Harry does get to have prosthetics made for his ears to make them elfin :3c

Harry was required to gain weight for the role and, contrary to the first link’s information, was NOT as pleased. James just has to maintain. it sucks a little (lot), for, to the knowledge of absolutely NOBODY and they’d like to keep it that way, they both suffer from eating disorders. that are the opposite of each other. and they have no idea they’re about to be each other’s triggers lmao RIP IN PIECES KEK

i honestly flip flop between how they first meet: was it a part of their final audition process, doing a couple scenes together to judge their chemistry, or did they meet the first time when they met everyone else (crew, production team, big wigs, etc)?? i have actual scenes/ideas as to how both scenarios play out, but i’ll spare y’all for now LOL

IRREGARDLESS (god i hate how that’s actually in the dictionary now), they hit it off splendidly. they make a point to hang out outside of production time, text, get to know each other. Harry gets to enjoy (not) the paparazzi experience for the first time and thanks he hates it :) so now the public gets better pictures of him, unflattering and flattering, out on his own and also out with James. it really fucking sucks and it makes Harry so anxious that he’s This Close to actually backing out, but.. can’t do it, for a multitude of reasons; the show must go on.

he eventually gets used to it and, with James (and in the future, Douglas and Heather), get to have a bit of fun with the paparazzi, on their own terms.

Harry hails from West Virginia Appalachia. he worked hard to get rid of his VERY thick Appalachia accent, and somehow got out of that holler when he was seventeen, right out of high school that day. there isn’t a person out there that could confidently snitch on Harry’s “normal” American accent (aka, Midwest). there have been a couple roles he was able to use it for, though. these days he practices it in private, feeling attachment to it after being so ashamed of his roots for all his life, finally trying to preserve a bit of his own history.

he’s also mega fudged personal information in order to scrub himself free of being a deep mountain hick (which he’d say himself that he was.. is). but now that he’s stepping into the limelight, he’s just waiting for that shoe to drop, knowing how snoopy people are and how information can just be plucked out of thin air, and he’s always HIGHLY valued his privacy.

yeah. he hired a therapist. there’re a lot of triggers he didn’t even know existed for problems he didn’t even know he was repressing.

Harry’s lived in the Los Angeles area/suburbs for about twenty years now, and along the lines, bought a house. he paid off the mortgage on his house just a couple years ago. his house is time capsule frozen smack dead in the 70s and in the “ranch” style. it’s a modest, unassuming abode, with shingles painted brown and wood strips hatching diamonds onto the smaller windows. the door is an orange-yellow with four textured smaller glass diamonds in dark red, orange, blue, and yellow.

mustard yellow curtains shield the living room behind the large and wide front window, where built-in planters with the same white border and hatch pattern hold seasonal flowers. a huuuge old oak tree shades most of the lawn, which is kept such a pretty green, and even partially shades the lazy snake of a walkway. it’s cement and bordered by earthy, multicolored bricks, a few lanterns alternating in distance to guide the way, and annuals planted amongst them.

the house had seen an exterior remodel, and when he saw the original pictures, it drove him absolutely crazy LOL so he fully plans to get someone else in and DO IT AGAIN and return his goddamn house to its proper exterior glory. and fix a few things. anyway,

the most important thing about his house is that he has a conversation pit. thank you for your time

he also drives an old 1987 Toyota Corolla LE sedan in that wonderful light blue metallic (8D8), totally unremarkable, and he loves it so much.

James moved to Los Angeles from Portland, Oregon. he was born in Idaho and went to Portland at seventeen to try to get his foot in the door in doing some theatre, make friends, have weird experiences, meet a girl, break up with her, meet another girl and have an exciting two-year romance, dabble in plaster sculpting, get REALLY super into/discover the nerdy interests he has now, come to kinda super hate Portland,

he went to audition for the comedy movie on a fuckin whim. he was in San Fransisco of all places when someone mentioned it and he was like. okay fair when is it?

and he jokes about this a lot in interviews, how it was a literal race against time and all odds to make it to the audition before the cutoff, like he was in some late 80s-mid 90s feel-good movie. James had about no knowledge of what he was auditioning for other than it was comedy, had nothing prepared, a fly’s sigh worth of knowledge of the character, and blew it all right out of the park, home run, won the championship.

life has been BONKERS since then. he’s been nominated for awards, been on red carpets, getting starstruck meeting people he thought that the potential to be meeting them would be through a wild LSD trip - and so busy, and so stressful, and he’s turning back to unhealthy coping mechanisms. he’s seeing a therapist - and just glad he never got into substance abuse.

too much of that one at his childhood home.

James doesn’t like the flashy mansions - or any really huge house. it’s only gonna be him most of the time! truth be told, he’s no party boy, and the vibes gotta be good. he instead got himself a sweet little industrial/exposed brick wall/repurposed warehouse/firehouse type loft. a LOFT! with BIIIG floor space to skateboard on. (oh yeah; he does that. it’s kinda cute seeing him nyoom through the sets/backlots all dressed up as his character James Sunderland, backpack and all)

AND A FIREMAN’S POLE! FUCK YEAH he’s having a great time dressing up the place in all his nerdiness and yeah.. buying some expensive bells and whistles like telescopes, outfitting the garage into a workshop.. some collection items.. installing an enormous fish tank in the wall in his bedroom so he can have his bed right up against it and stare at the fish..

it’s weird and lonely and James isn’t sure how long it’s gonna take to get adjusted. yeah, he has friends over, has been making new friends, busy schedule, blah blah.. but just.. weird. he likes the fish though, and that he can skateboard indoors without anyone saying jack shit about it, and really didn’t like the Dolce and Gabbana suit at all……. not much of a fan of the brand so far, anyway….. god, rich people are stupid about brands. (hipster of him; you can take the man out of Portland, Oregon, but..)

James thinks that it’s SICK that his character drove a 1977 Pontiac Ventura but can’t see himself ever driving one. he can appreciate vintage/classic/hot rods/vintage muscle cars (Road Runners are fucking SWEET and they go MEEPMEEP and the Firehawks are REAL cool), but…… he likes motorcycles. yeah, he rides motorcycles - and he’s not about any discourse. straight up doesn’t care.

he owns a 2017 Yamaha YZF-R3 ABS that is custom painted with (yeah, sparkly) He-Man/KISS theme. look. he’s 25 and stupid as fuck and he unironically loves He-Man and KISS. actually he doesn’t really know about KISS, he just likes a lot of the KISS merch he always saw in Spencer’s and the pinball machine was cool. anyway, KISS

BUT ANYWAY

Douglas pops up out of total nowhere. GOOMT has wrapped its first season and they’ve already been green lit for s2. fame is comin to the cast and crew, and god pls leave Harry alone!!! he was doing his best to go incognito one night, wearing a stupid beanie to hide his hair (nothing can be done about his beak, rip), dressed casually and Not-Harry Mason (which he’s figured out has more of A Look than he thought it could), and for the most part, he’s been flying under the radar tonight.

so he was heading down the sidewalk after having dinner with James and his girlfriend (met her on set; was a monster girl extra lmao), going for his little car waiting for him at a meter. but parked a car ahead of his Toyota, there’s this REALLY stunning beige, four door Chrysler New Yorker, circa late 1960s.. but couldn’t tag the exact year. Harry’s not too much of a car guy, but he can appreciate a good looking car.

so he goes to take a look. it’s evening, about 9p. Harry doesn’t notice someone sitting in the front seat, so when he bends to look through the passenger window he gets a HUGE jump scare when he sees someone peeking at him lmao, and when this enormous, 6’4” dude (in his early fifties, Harry guesses, with beautiful, fully grey hair, built Ford Tough like kinda soft but undeniably STRONG underneath, whew) steps out Harry wants to die but for two reasons and the first one goes in the fucking trash—

anyway Douglas apologizes for spooking him, Harry says sorry for being creepy looking at his car, they have a little talk about the car. vibes are amazing. Harry, after that weird lull of silence after conversation you can’t figure out how to proceed with, says his thanks and goodnight and goes to leave, when Douglas is like hey wait. you wanna come to trivia night?

Harry’s like, h u h ? and Douglas explains that he was heading in to trivia night at the bar/lounge right up the street, he’s meeting some friends there, wanna come along? Harry bluescreens a bit, gets some anxiety about Being Seen but. doesn’t let that hold him back. his gut says go, so he says sure, drops quarters into the meter so his car doesn’t get towed and LA is HELL, and away to the bar

packed place. Douglas’s (rather big) friend group are wedged onto two couches (and perching on the coffee table) in the back. they all say their hellos - and, realizing he didn’t want to use his actual name because people are already giving him the curious ‘i think i recognize you’ squint, Harry grabs a name and profession out of the air to hide behind for the night.

Dusty Farlow the home carpet cleaner gets to know a great group of people during the Los Angeles History Trivia Night (with a bonus round of landmarks haunted by celebrities from the silver age of Hollywood!) he’s amongst a mixed group of people ranging from age 22 (it seems) to about 60 (it seems). and yet. none of these people (except a couple of amused/curious looks), not even the old-timers, recognized the pseudonym he chose for the evening.

guess no one watched Dallas.

ha.

anyway the night wears on and Harry learns that Douglas is a glassblower and he “moonlights” (as he calls it) in making glass tiles, glass paperweights, Crown glass for windows, and kaleidoscopes. he didn’t get to hear much more on that front and only got bits and pieces about him where he could cuz it was hectic, and loud, and the conversations were everywhere.

anyway eventually Harry has to make his excuses and ago, he’s kinda getting claustrophobic and super tired, and starts to say goodbye but can’t see Douglas :( probably went to the bathroom but hhhh he’s seeing a cluster glancing at him and whispering and not-so-sneakily holding up a phone so it might be time to make like a tree and scram

he gets out into the night and starts down to his car and Douglas catches up to him, apologizes for having disappeared into the bathroom at the wrong time, they say their “thanks it was great hanging out” and then Douglas asks for his number……. ……. and Harry surprises himself by giving it to him, and Douglas returns the favor, sent a text, now they have each other’s numbers for sure

another goodbye, shyer? shy from Douglas too? and Douglas goes off, leaving Harry standing there like. what the fuck just goddamn happened here on this one night and Yeah so There’s That

i can jump WAY ahead to how Douglas gets cast BUT GOD I’VE GONE ON SO LONG KDFLKSFGHSDIG

ANYWAY that’s essentially the basics of actor AU, it’s a TV show, shenanigans ensue, there’s So Much and by god it goes even HARDER on set and how their professional lives flow and all those other interpersonal relationships and i have so much lore it’s so stupid lmfao

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST AND GOD BLESS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS GREAT BIG MESS 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[ad1thi]

henlo adi tis i with a request for some stevetony fics,,, angsty if you have 'em 💓

okay so this rec list is mainly classic stevetony fics, but i assure you - there’s angsty ones in there (ive marked the angsty ones with a 😞 so you can identify them quicker) just a general note that a lot of authors are going to repeat, because there are some authors that (imo) are stevetony staples (so if you see an author more than once - thats a sign that ALL of their stevetony is good and ive cherry picked the ones i love the most) (ive also marked those authors with a 🌟) 

//

in the light of limerence:  @shell-heads

It's the final game of the season, their biggest one yet, and there's only one question on everybody's mind: who the hell is Captain Steve Rogers' boyfriend, and why does Cap keep dodging questions about him?

"You gotta admit it's suspicious that only Bucky and Sam have met your boyfriend, dude," Clint points out as he shoves Pietro away with a smirk, pulling the uniform over his head and tugging it down. "We've known you, what-two years? We've never seen the guy even once."

"And your phone mysteriously only has pictures of Tony Stark," Johnny Storm adds as he joins the conversation, knocking knees with Thor when he sits down on one of the benches. "Tony Stark, who has at least ten fansites and personally assured me he's had a boyfriend for the past five years."

"I can't believe Cap is actually out here acting like Tony Stark's boyfriend," Luke says with a smirk, resting against a wall without a care.

"I can't believe you guys still think this is a joke," Sam throws back while tossing his other dirty sock at Luke, who dodges it smoothly.

In little more than ten minutes, the biggest question of Shield University is answered with much aplomb by none other than Tony Stark himself.

almeno tu nell'universo: @silkspectred 😞 🌟 (funfact: this is the fic that got me into stevetony) 

Tony drives off.

Well, he wants to.

But he can’t.

Because.

Steve Rogers is in front of his car.

Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.

Rookie and Jailbait Take On The World: @theapplepielifestyle 🌟

“You really should be in school, you know.”

“Why would I be there when I could be here, solving crimes with my favourite rookie?” Tony flashes a grin, and Steve’s stomach twists like it did on the first day.

Teenager, Steve’s mind supplies. Definitely not legal, stop doing fluttery things, stomach.

Thumb, Index and Pinky Extended: @/Eudoxia 😞

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you: @mizzy2k

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.

This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Celestial Navigation: @sabrecmc

Celestial Navigation: 18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

By request, here is CN in one place without other stories and artwork.

Ironsides: @copperbadge 🌟

Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.

Paved With Good Intentions (I’m On The Road To Hell): @itsallavengers 😞 🌟

When the mysterious group of vigilante assassins known only as 'The Avengers' are tipped off about the dirty secrets that lie within Stark Industries, Steve Rogers has his heart set on taking out Tony Stark for good in order to protect the rest of the world from his evil. He's seen the footage, after all- Stark is a man who fights only for himself. And of course, when a job arises as chief bodyguard for Stark, to protect him from the growing threat of an ominously infatuated stalker, the opportunity is way too good for him to miss out on. It's the perfect placement, and the perfect way to find out whether or not their tipoff is genuine.

But as Steve falls into rank as the new bodyguard for Mr. Stark and he spends time getting to know and protect him, his initial hatred begins to falter and merge into something different, something far more terrifying than the prospect of killing the face of Stark Industries.

Steve Rogers may just be falling in love with him instead.

The Problem With Communication: @itsallavengers

Steve is terrible at flirting, but when he finally picks up the courage to talk to the adorable barista who makes his drinks, he finds himself hitting a small snag:

That being, Tony is deaf. He doesn't know what Steve is saying.

But never say Steve Rogers does not rise to a challenge.

Killing Me Softly (With His Song): @itsallavengers

Steve is Tony's whole world. Tony couldn't imagine life without him. They've grown up together, after all.

Steve gets cancer.

Open Field In Front of Him: orphan account

Steve Rogers's football season is functionally over after a loss to Rutgers, but he finds a distraction in Tony Stark (yes, THAT Tony Stark). A college AU Stony fic.

Good For You: @orbingarrow 😞

Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

COMPLETE 5/27/16 Edited to add art as last chapter on 6/23/16

Wrapped Up In Clover: @festiveferret

It's been seven years since Steve and Tony split up, and Steve's sure he'll never see Tony again. He's finally managed to put their failed relationship behind him and move on, focusing on his friends and building his business. But then his best friends, Bucky and Clint, decide to get married, and their wedding week at a cabin resort in Vermont turns into a minefield of heartbreak for Steve.

little green soldiers: @/nasa 🌟

“Rhodey,” Tony says. “I’m not stupid. He’s shipping out in three months. I’m not going to fall in love with him.”

Tony is a student at MIT; Steve is a soldier. They meet at a house party six months before Steve is set to deploy. This is their story.

flesh and bone: @/nasa 😞

“You or Rogers?” they ask, brandishing a knife or a gun or a flame.

“Me,” Tony says, over and over again. “Me, me, me,” always me.

Buried: @not-close-to-straight

When Howard Stark demands Tony work at a dig site in S.America one summer to "build character" and "learn about life", Tony is furious. But then he meets soldier/archeologist Steve and falls in love with blue eyes and a perfect smile. 

Just as they are ready to move forward together, Steve leaves abruptly with no explanation and breaks Tonys heart. Ten years later, Tony stumbles across the file for the old dig site. He's determined to visit and shut it down, but discovers that instead of a village, the dig has uncovered a temple and actually needs MORE money to stay open. A security team is hired to protect the staff and the artefacts they find, and Tony comes face to face with Steve Rogers all over again– except Steve is bearded and BIGGER and way more dangerous than he used to be...And Tony likes it.

When the camp is attacked, Steve jumps into action, snatching Tony and running into the jungle to escape and work their way towards safety. But long days and nights together bring back old feelings, and one day Steve takes a risk and asks Tony to give them another chance. Will Tony say yes? Or is his heart buried too far for the soldier-turned- archaeologist-turned-mercenary to find it?

don’t know why it took me so long to see: @3799steps 

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognising his boyfriend past a mask

Heartlines: @nanasekei 🌟

“Let me,” Tony repeats. He regrets it deeply, so much, he wants to stick the words back into his mouth again, and it must show, in the way his voice wavers. He feels exposed, all of a sudden, as if he’s asking something bigger than what he can actually say. Let me touch you, let me take care of you. “Just… Let me do it.“

Feel Whole Again: @thepartyresponsible

Steve turns to leave. It’s easier to talk, somehow, when he’s not looking at him. “If you need anything,” he says, “I’m just a few floors down.”

“Might regret that, Cap,” Tony says to his retreating back. “I’ve been told I’m needy.”

Steve doesn’t know who the hell said that to Tony. It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t.

“It’s an honor,” he says, a little helpless, out of his depth and out of his time. “It’s an honor to be trusted with something like that, Tony.”

Attack Dog: @/salytierra

Steve doesn't swim in self-delusion. He knows that he is sick and that his owner is even worse. He is aware of it every time he rips some nameless guy’s throat out and feels the crunch of bones under his fingers. He is aware of it every time the rush of adrenaline at seeing life slip away from a stranger’s eyes hits him and gets him bothered and panting in ways that have nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

But it feels so good…

His owner’s approach is less personal. His shots fall clean and take out several foes at a time, his figure elegant and so graceful he looks like a god among savages. He is power incarnated, cold and burning like a sun at the same time… and Steve tries not to focus on him when they are fighting together, least his knees go weak and his technique falters. It’s fine though. They will go home afterwards and his owner will fuck him on the hard floor, with most of their gear still on and a vicious grip in his hair.

[augustheart]

hey sorry this is probably absolutely not the place to be asking, but I can't seem to find anyone talking about oyewah in doom patrol and how fucking racist that episode was ?!! wondering if I'm missing something or if something redeeming happens in a later episode, bc rn I'm not sure I really want to keep watching... the reason I'm asking you is bc when I googled 'doom patrol Slava racist' an old post of yours came up along with not much else lmao ... I'm so confused ?!!

ugh, yeah. hair patrol is by far the worst episode of season one, though unfortunately when i see people talking about it and why it’s so bad online they mostly focus on the disgusting visuals over the racism. i know there are people who have talked about it but i don’t know exactly who because i very rarely go in the main tags for shows--if anyone has any other posts about that episode in particular and the racism toward oweyah (and the continued narrative targeting of vic, which is a broader problem with the first season that they did thankfully somewhat course correct in the second) please let me know! i’m sure people who are much more qualified than me have talked about it.

to answer the question about the rest of the season/season two, i can’t say that it gets better with regards to oweyah and then dorothy by extension (though i assume the post you saw from me was the one i made in reaction to dorothy and her casting so i won’t get into that here), it just gets...way more confusing, at least in season two, because oweyah doesn’t appear again in season one. there is definitely racism in the way other characters like niles and kipling refer to dorothy’s heritage, but it is personally very difficult for me to tell if this is meant to be wrong in-text. obviously, it’s still racism, and your willingness to tolerate that may vary and you shouldn’t have to subject yourself to it while trying to watch what’s meant to be a superhero-ish show, but considering the cliffhanger the show leaves on it’s...really hard for me to tell if this racism is meant to be somehow “justified.” the story could be doing what niles and kipling think is going on--where a “tribal curse” (kipling’s exact fucking racist disgusting words) is what caused the candlemaker to manifest and it’s niles’ job to save the world by killing/otherwise depowering dorothy and removing her connection to her mother and her mother’s powers--or it could be doing a twist on it, where dorothy’s destiny from her mother is to stop the candlemaker and embrace her heritage.

like...obviously, i’d prefer the second one, and it also just flat-out makes more sense from the perspective of adapting from the comics, where the candlemaker should by rights be connected to niles as the fear of a nuclear war born from the horrors of the british industrial revolution, so it has that going for it if the “hey that other thing is horrifically racist” doesn’t convince someone. but no matter which way they end up going, a) the treatment of oweyah in season one is still racist from an external standpoint just as niles is literally racist to her in the fucking text, b) characters in-universe are still racist to dorothy and oweyah alike, and c) there is still external racism in the case of both of their characters inherent to the way they decided to write things with oweyah starting from episode ten.

whether or not you decide to finish the season/watch season two is up to you. i’d recommend watching the next episode, frances patrol is really good, then evaluating again after that, especially considering episode twelve has more narrative targeting of vic and subjects him to more pain. he grows from it, at least, i guess, but in season one none of the rest of the cast had to go through physical trials like that to have their own growth moments, so...that wasn’t necessary was it...but that’s a topic for another post and i luckily have seen more people talk about season one’s treatment of vic and how his pain was showcased.

i’m sorry i couldn’t answer this right away, i was out birding because i’m home and the air is finally clear enough to go outside and then when i got home i was moving the animals back outside. i hope this answer helped clear some things up, even if it may not have been the reassurance you were hoping for.

[css1992]

Work for it

Warnings: explicit, nff, 18+, age gap (duh), power imbalance. No power AU. 9k words. Peter is an intern, Tony is his boss. This is really cliche, sorry not sorry. 

Tony was used to people tripping over themselves for just a second of his time. He was used to long lines of potential lovers forming just outside of his proverbial door; he was used to having his pick of pretty young things. He’d snap his fingers, set a time and place, and he could have anyone. He couldn’t remember the last time he had to work for it; probably never, if he was honest. He was blessed with striking features, a fit body – even if he didn’t work out much -, and a suaveness that would put Bond to shame. Besides that, he was a Stark. He was filthy rich and probably the most powerful man in the world – he was at least on the top five list, for sure. To top it all off, he was a genius, playboy philanthropist, so, really, what was not to like?

According to Peter Parker, plenty. And wasn’t that incredibly and surprisingly refreshing and thrilling?

Peter was Bruce’s intern, so technically, he worked for Tony, since Bruce was head of his nuclear physics department, but that didn’t seem to matter much when the kid rolled his eyes at Tony and told him to get lost. The first time it happened, the older man was left gaping and spluttering, not really sure if he was pissed the fuck off and ready to fire the son of a bitch, or turned the fuck on and ready to accept the challenge. He settled on the latter and after gathering his wits again, he smirked at the feisty little intern and licked his lips, nodding. “As you wish, Mr. Parker.”

Of course he didn’t leave him alone, though, he always found a reason to be in Bruce’s lab, and although the physicist was exasperated and annoyed by his presence, he also seemed amused and pleased by his interactions with Peter. The young man wasn’t impressed by Tony, he wasn’t intimidated by his presence and not even a little bit charmed by his antics. Whenever Tony tried to flirt with him or ask him out, he would roll his eyes and reject him flatly, he even threatened to go to HR once, but he never did, so maybe that was a good sign? Probably not, but a man could dream.

Tony had no idea what he was doing wrong, if he was doing anything wrong – again, he wasn’t used to this shit. Usually, he only needed a cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner to get whoever he wanted, but Peter Parker seemed to be the only person in the whole world immune to it, so, of course, he was the only person in the whole world that Tony wanted at the moment. He wanted to fuck that arrogant expression off his pretty face, he wanted to use him, to wreck him, to ruin him. He wanted to leave him whimpering, lying on the floor, begging for more, once he was done with him. The longer it took to bed him, the more he wanted to mess him up.  

He watched the young man leaning over his workbench, his round, firm, bubble butt sticking out, ready to be grabbed and kneaded and kissed and spread open; his thin waist begging to be marked up by strong, calloused fingers. They could do it right there, in Bruce’s lab, over his workbench. One day they would, he could feel it in his bones. One day, Peter would beg for his touch, and Tony would make him work for it, as payback. He’d make him squirm and cry and beg to come, and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t let him, no matter how much he wanted to see him fall apart.

“You’re staring again,” Bruce told him from his right, eyes focused on the microscope, as if he didn’t even need to look up to know where Tony’s gaze had landed. “This is getting boring. And kinda creepy, to be honest.”

“Maybe to you, Brucie Bear, but Mr. Parker over there? He’s this close to cracking, did you see his little smile when I told him he smelt nice this morning?” Tony didn’t bother tearing his gaze from Peter’s fine ass, specially now that he was practically wiggling it while trying to open a bottle of whatever.

“I believe your exact words were ‘you smell good enough to eat’. And I wouldn’t call it a smile so much as a sneer, actually.” Tony glared at Bruce from across the workbench and the shy scientist sighed, finally looking back at the billionaire. “Tones, he’s a good kid, ok? He’s genuinely good. You’re coming on to him too strong, I just don’t think that’s his style.”

“So enlighten me, Brucie, what would you say is his style?” Tony half joked, half pleaded, because really, at this point, almost four months trying to get this kid to like him, he was becoming desperate with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t find him attractive at all. Maybe he thought Tony was a creepy, pervert, old man. He was nearing his fifties, after all, and the kid was surely in his early twenties. Tony never thought the day would come that he would have to worry about not being somebody’s type, but Peter was messing with his head. Badly.

“Well, there’s this Beck guy from engineering, he usually brings Peter coffee and always talks to him about his work here, and the kid actually giggles at him. Looks like he enjoys his attention, at least a lot more than he does yours.” Bruce shrugged and Tony gaped at him, as a strange, unfamiliar feeling took over his chest. A feeling of rage, mixed with sadness, mixed with possessiveness. There was someone else trying to bed Peter, and he couldn’t have it. He must have said it out loud, because Bruce rolled his eyes again. “That’s the thing, Tony, I don’t think he just wants to fuck Peter. He treats him well, like a human being, not a piece of meat. I guess that’s why Peter doesn’t tell him to fuck off whenever he comes around, you know?”

“Oh. Oh!” Of course. Peter was really young, he was bound to be naive and dreamy. He was probably a romantic at heart, maybe he needed to believe he was being courted by a knight in shining armor, maybe he needed the whole flowers and chocolates kinda deal, before they got down to business. Smart guy, that Beck. He grinned with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Why do I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake?” Bruce sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly across his forehead, but Tony ignored him, making his way towards the young intern.

Peter felt him coming from a mile away, if the way his shoulders tensed up was anything to go by. He turned his head towards Tony and rolled his eyes when he saw the older man’s smile, sighing exasperatedly. Tony raised both of his hands, showing that he came in peace, and Peter just glared at him, unimpressed.

Fuck, he was beautiful. He looked like a tiny Disney prince, with chestnut brown curls that always fell on his forehead no matter how many times a day he tried to tuck them behind his ears; his eyes were also brown and bright, kind-looking, and when he smiled – never at Tony, though, always at someone else – they crinkled around the edges in the most endearing way. His skin looked smooth like a baby’s, but Tony never got to touch it, could only imagine how incredibly soft it would feel; his lips were thin and pink and tiny, just like all of him.

Tony really, really wanted him. Just for one night. That didn’t seem like a lot to ask.

“Hey, kid, I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot,” Tony started when he was at the boy’s workbench, leaning against it, but not really close to the young man. He made it a point to look at Peter in a sweet and kind way, not at all like he usually did, with dark, hungry eyes.

“Yeah, maybe because you’ve been sexually harassing me for four months now, sir,” he answered shortly, crossing his arms over his chest. Tony would point out that if he felt harassed he should report him and maybe sue him and make millions out of it, but he didn’t, so maybe he liked it, but he bit his tongue. That sounded exactly like the kind of thing that would get him further from the boy’s bed.

“I apologize for making you feel this way, Mr. Parker.” For the first time ever, he noticed Peter’s features softening slightly, at least he didn’t look like he was about to bolt or slap him at any second. So Tony continued, feeling a little more confident with this course of action now. “I’m really sorry, it was brought to my attention that I’ve been really disrespectful and inconvenient, it’s just – I’m not used to being rejected, and I know this makes me sound like a douche, but maybe I am one, so.” This actually made the boy smile just a tiny bit, but he covered his mouth with a hand. “Anyway, I just wanna say that as of now, I’m not gonna bother you anymore, and I hope we can have a healthy, professional relationship, because you seem like a really bright young man.”

“I appreciate it, Mr. Stark.” Tony perked up at the gentler tone of his voice, that was probably the nicest thing Peter had ever said to him, so that was progress.

“Well, have a nice day, then, Mr. Parker. I’ll see you soon.” Tony smiled sweetly at him and actually got a little smile back and his heart did a flip inside his chest. He couldn’t quite grasp what was going on with him, but it felt nice. Being on Peter’s good side felt nice.

Tony didn’t show up at Bruce’s lab for the next few weeks, he figured he should give Peter a little time to miss him. What he did do, though, was a complete background check on Quentin Beck, from his engineering department. What he found both delighted and horrified him. He was delighted because he had a perfect excuse to get rid of him, but he was horrified that a person like him had been working for Stark Industries for such a long time and nobody noticed. And fuck, he was close to Peter, what if he had asked him out? What if they had been alone together?

Beck was facing charges of rape and domestic violence against his ex-husband and, aside from that, Tony had a very strong suspicion that he was involved in corporate espionage against S.I., so he sent all his findings to his legal team and less then two weeks later, the guy was fired. After that, Tony ordered a complete background check on all of his employees, and made sure that it happened at least once a year from that moment forward. He was proud of himself as he marched to Bruce’s lab with a smile on his face a few days later. When he got there, though, he was met with an exasperated scowl from the scientist.

“Really, Tony? Really?” He looked frustrated and angry, but the billionaire held his palms up, signaling that he came in peace. People just knew that Beck was fired, they didn’t know the reason yet. It would probably come out eventually.  

“I promise it’s not what you think, ok, the guy was a rapist and he was selling S.I’s secret projects to Oscorps, so chill. I just did a little digging, the rest is on him,” Tony promised, seeing a shocked expression forming on Bruce’s face. “I know, I know, it’s crazy. Legal is dealing with him.”

“Fuck, are you sure?”

“Well, we’re pressing charges, so yeah, I’m sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He smirked at the brunette and made his way towards Peter, missing the way the other scientist rolled his eyes and shook his head. This time, the intern didn’t tense up when Tony approached him, but he did eye him carefully, defensively, as if he didn’t fully believe that Tony had changed. “Good morning, Mr. Parker.”

“Good morning, Mr. Stark,” he answered cautiously, turning his full attention to the older man.

“Bruce told me about your breakthrough regarding your research on Nucleosynthesis. I would like to congratulate you personally.” As soon as he said that, the boy blushed a light pink, his attitude going from defensive to shy in record time, it was endearing.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Stark, but it was mostly Dr. Banner, really. I just helped a little.” His tiny, elegant hands were fumbling with the hem of his lab coat nervously and Tony smiled to himself, heart beating oddly faster.

“That’s not what he told me, Peter.” The use of his first name drew the boy’s attention back to his face, cheeks still bright red. “In fact, he told me a lot of good things about your work here at Stark Industries.” That wasn’t a lie, actually, Bruce always sang Peter’s praises whenever they talked about the young man’s progress in his internship. Bruce really wanted to have him on his team once he graduated, and Tony wasn’t against it. “Keep up the good work, Parker.”

“I will, sir, thank you.” He smiled sweetly, tucking a stray curl behind his ear. Tony smiled again, satisfied, and nodded.

“Have a good day.” He turned on his heels before the younger man could answer and strode out of the lab confidently, absolutely certain that the boy was following him with his gaze. Apparently, Bruce was right, after all. He did seem to respond a lot better to praises about his work instead of his looks. Who’d have guessed.

He showed up at the lab a few times a week with the excuse of meeting with Bruce. At first, he just greeted the younger man from afar, which seemed to spark his curiosity. It was clear that he was confused by Tony’s sudden change of attitude, but he never mentioned anything, and neither did Tony. A couple of weeks after Beck was fired, all sorts of rumors were spread. Some were far-fetched – people said he was mentally unstable, that he tried to stab someone in his department, that he stole from the office –  but some hit closer to home. Tony saw an opportunity when he walked into the lab one day and overheard Peter talking to another intern about it.

“Mr. Parker, may I have a word?” He gestured towards Bruce’s personal office, so that they wouldn’t need to go upstairs to his own. The intern nodded weakly and followed Tony inside, sitting on a chair in front of Bruce’s desk. Instead of taking a seat behind it, Tony perched himself on the desk, looking at Peter with a serious, grave expression. “Peter, it was brought to my attention that you and Mr. Beck were close.” The boy’s eyes grew comically fast.

“Mr. Stark, I swear, I had no idea –“

“It’s okay, kid, I know you didn’t, you’re not in trouble, this is not what this is about,” he assured him and the younger man seemed to breathe easier after that. “I would like to apologize in the name of the company, kid. I’m sorry you were put in such a dangerous situation, working with someone who shouldn’t be anywhere near here.” At first, Tony had just rehearsed those words to make Peter soften towards him, but as he said them, he was surprised he actually meant it. He was actually sorry Peter was so close to danger under his watch.

“Oh. Mr Stark, you couldn’t have known –“

“I should have known, and for that I’m sorry. I hope you can feel safe again in your workplace. I promise there are no other secret criminals around here, I made sure myself.” He smiled softly and the younger man blushed slightly.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” he answered quietly, watching Tony with a mix of shyness and admiration.

“If you need to talk to someone about it, let me know, ok? We have therapists on our payroll and that was a stressful situation.” The billionaire stared at him intently, and the boy quickly nodded again.

“Yes, sir, thank you.”

After that, they became a little closer, Peter treated him differently, smiled at him more openly and more often, responded better to his jokes and stories. Every time Tony came down to the lab, they would talk a little about Peter’s projects and even about his classes at NYU. The young man really was brilliant, definitely above average, maybe even a genius, like Tony himself and Bruce. Tony was taken by surprise by that – he knew the boy was smart, he wouldn’t be there otherwise, he just didn’t expect him to be that smart.

He was surprised, too, as the weeks went by, to have Peter open up to him more, little by little, pieces of information escaping through his teeth as he told him about his week at college. Tony learned that he was an orphan, he lived with his aunt and his biggest dream as a kid had been to go to MIT, and even though he got a scholarship there, he didn’t want to leave his aunt alone, so he stayed.

Against all odds, they became – friends? Acquaintances? Tony wasn’t sure, but it worked in his favor. After only a couple of months, Peter didn’t see him as threat anymore, which allowed the older man to move to phase two of his plan: wooing the intern in a non-threatening way – whatever that means, Brucie.

It started out small and simple: coffee. Tony usually sent someone to buy him expensive coffee at a hipster coffee shop down the street, so one day he ordered one for Peter, too. When he went down to the lab and offered him the hot beverage, the young man’s eyes glinted, a warm smile forming on his thin lips as he thanked him. It was a beautiful sight to see.

“Wow, this is so good, Mr. Stark! Where’s it from?” He asked with big, round eyes, amazed by something as simple as coffee. Tony was flooded with a need to show him so much more than just that, but he suppressed it. It made no sense, what was he even thinking?

“It’s from a nice coffee shop just down the street, we could go together someday, if you’d like.” The boy blushed and didn’t answer right away, but two days later they were sitting together at said coffee shop, Peter’s red cheeks were bright enough to illuminate the whole room.

“God, this is delicious, I really needed that, it’s been such a stressful week.” Peter groaned around a mouthful of chocolate cake and Tony had to make an actual effort to look away from his lips when he licked them.

“Is Banner giving you a hard time? Let me know, I can fire him, if you want.” The older man took a sip of his espresso, watching as the intern giggled over the rim of his mug – honest to God giggled.

“Don’t be silly, you know Dr. Banner wouldn’t give anyone a hard time, he’s the best human being on earth.” He smiled sincerely. “No, it’s just school, you know. Finals are coming up and I’m a little overwhelmed, it’s all.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna ace them, kid, I’m pretty sure you’re a genius.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows and Peter blushed, but shook his head.

“I’m pretty sure you say that to all of your interns.” He batted his eyelashes, a feigned dreamy look on his face.

“Only to the really smart ones.” The young man blushed yet again and almost drowned in his coffee as he tried to make himself look busy. “No, but seriously, don’t worry about it and don’t overwork yourself, ok? If you need a few days off, just let me know.”

“No, it’s ok, I like coming to work.” He smiled and then dropped his gaze to Tony’s plate with interest. “How’s your pie?”

“Wanna find out?” He smirked, taking a piece of it with his fork and offering it to the boy. He expected Peter to take the fork from his hand, but he must have misunderstood his actions, because he just leaned in and opened his mouth, waiting for Tony to feed it to him. The genius gulped, but complied, watching with a transfixed gaze as Peter wrapped his lips around the fork, closing his eyes and moaning in pleasure when he pulled back.

“Wow, this is so good. Oh, man, I wish aunt May could cook like that. Or me. But I guess it’s for the best, I wouldn’t fit through the lab’s door if I got to eat this everyday.” He grinned.

“Not much of a cook, your aunt?” The older man shifted in his chair, trying to adjust himself in his pants, something he hadn’t had to do in public in a very long time.

“God, no, she’s terrible, you should try her meatloaf. No, wait – you shouldn’t, no one should.” Tony gave a startled laugh at that, almost spitting out his coffee. “But I’m one to talk, I can barely scramble eggs, so. It must run on the family or something. We just eat a lot of take out and frozen meals.”

“Well, I could teach you a thing or two one of these days.” Tony shrugged nonchalantly, watching the boy’s reaction as he frowned with a doubtful little smile.

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side, and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, really, kid, don’t give me that look, I’ve been cooking five stars meals for longer then you’ve been alive.”

“Well, I’m sorry, I should know better than to question my elders.” He grinned cheekily and Tony threw a napkin in his face.

Away from their workplace, Peter showed a different side of him, a fun, carefree side. He was really sweet and kind, not at all like Tony’s first impression of him, and he was also witty and smart-mouthed, so much fun to be around. That led to another coffee date, then another, then another. They would meet at least once a week at that coffee shop when Peter didn’t have classes after work, and it was just so nice, Tony almost forgot what he was trying to achieve.

Key-word: almost.

He was quickly reminded, though, when the unresolved sexual tension became almost unbearable. Whenever they were together, when nobody was paying attention, Peter would touch his arm for longer than necessary, he would bite his lower lip as he stared at him through half lidded eyes, soft fingers would linger whenever their hands touched. It was all very subtle, Tony would never have noticed any of it if he wasn’t so fucking obsessed with the boy.

“Did you burn yourself with the blowtorch again?” Peter reached for his arms and his soft fingertips brushed the angry-red burn on the inside of his wrist, the innocent touch sent shivers down his spine.

“Actually, it was a frying pan.” Before Tony could even begin to explain what happened, Peter burst out laughing.

“No way! But I thought you were a 5 Michelin Stars Chef?” He raised a brow, his hand never leaving Tony’s skin.

“Okay, smart pants, first of all, that’s not the most Michelin stars one can get and, second of all, I am the world's most renowned engineer and I still get hurt in the shop from time to time, so I’m sure Gordon Ramsay also burns himself making omelets sometimes, so chill.” He grabbed the younger man’s hand but didn’t do more than that, so they were basically holding hands, but Peter seemed unfazed.

“Are you comparing yourself to Gordon Ramsay?” He laughed again, reaching with his other hand to touch Tony’s forehead. “You should get checked for an infection, ‘cause you’re delusional, let me see if you have a fever.”

The whole thing was just way too confusing for the older man. Peter wasn’t just a pretty face and a nice body, he was a smart kid, and he was good, genuinely good, just like Bruce had told him, and Tony – he wasn’t sure what to make of that. Peter didn’t deserve to be one of his flings, a notch on his bedpost, so he never took the last step. He never asked Peter out aside from their platonic coffee dates, although, at that point, he was positive that the answer would have been a resonant yes. He was gonna abort the whole thing, he really was, but when the opportunity finally, finally arose, so many weeks later, Tony just couldn’t say no.

He was a bad, bad man, a weak man, a piece of shit, yeah. He never denied any of those things.

So the day that Peter stayed late at the lab, way later than Bruce or anyone else, according to JARVIS, Tony quickly made his way down there, suit jacket discarded, no tie, his shirt’s sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Recently, he had noticed that the younger man liked staring at his arms, his chest – he popped the first two buttons of his shirt at the memory- and his back. He also seemed intrigued by his graying hair, the way he would always look up at somewhere above Tony’s eyebrows, biting his lips without even noticing.

Tony knew he was interested, fucking finally.  

So he walked into the lab smoothly, confidently, hands in his pockets, puffing his chest out a little. Peter raised his head when the glass door hissed, announcing Tony’s entrance. He smiled softly for a few seconds, before taking in Tony’s appearance. His cheeks turned pink as he stared, mouth hanging open, and Tony smirked when he got close enough.

“Hey, Pete. JARVIS said you were the only one left. Isn’t it a little late for you to be here? Don’t you have classes in the morning?” He inquired, leaning against the workbench, and the younger man shook his head nervously, trying to avoid looking at Tony.

“I don’t have classes until later in the morning tomorrow, so I thought I’d finish this real quick, but I think I lost track of time.” He answered with an embarrassed smile when he looked at his phone, noticing it was already past 10pm. “I’ll go, though,” he started gathering his things, until Tony placed a hand on his wrist gently, a calloused thumb rubbing the thin skin on the inside, feeling his rapid pulse quickening even more. “Uhm, Mr. Stark?”

“Why don’t you come up with me to the penthouse, huh? We can have dinner together, you must be  starving. We could have a few drinks, too.” He dared to get a little closer to him, close enough to feel his body heat, to feel his labored breath on his face. Peter’s eyes fluttered and he licked his lips, unable to look away from Tony, and the older man smirked, pulling him even closer by the wrist. “What do you say, huh?”

“Yes.”

Yes, of course, and that should have been his answer from the beginning, Tony thought, trying to contain his excitement. He wasn’t a virgin teenager on his first date, he was an experienced man ready to reap the rewards of his very hard work. He guided Peter towards the elevator, afraid the spell would be broken on the way up, but the boy followed him dutifully, so different from the feisty young man from all those months ago. Tony wished he could go back in time and rub it in that Peter‘s face, that he would succumb to him, eventually.

But then, seconds after having that thought, he felt terrible. Peter really didn’t deserve any of that, he was such a good kid, and he trusted Tony. The way he looked up at him on the way up to the penthouse was proof enough, he trusted Tony not to hurt him. If Tony was a better man, he would order them dinner, feed the boy, then send him on his way, Happy would get him home safe and sound and everything would be okay, nothing had to happen.

And maybe he would have been good, maybe he could have tried, at least, but how could he when, as soon as the elevator stopped, the intern stood on his tiptoes and kissed him? When his little, soft hands cupped his face, pulling him down, as the boy opened his mouth in invitation? Tony pulled Peter’s body against his own and kissed him back furiously, hungrily. Since he was going to hell anyway, might as well enjoy the ride.

There was no point in pretending that wasn’t what they wanted all along, what they both wanted for fucking months, so Peter wasn’t even surprised by his hunger, his eagerness. The boy’s trembling fingers slid from his jaw to his neck, then up into his hair, which sent electric shocks directly to the older man’s cock, and he bucked his hips almost unconsciously, immediately feeling Peter’s erection through his jeans.

He smirked into the kiss, feeling even more confident now. He caressed Peter’s back, feeling his muscles tensing as the genius’s hands slowly made their way down towards his lower back and finally –  finally – his glorious ass. It was plump and soft, but firm at the same time, so Tony grabbed it and kneaded it as much as he had been longing to do for so many months. The action made their erections brush against each other and Peter gasped, pulling away from the kiss to throw his head back against the elevator wall and Tony wasted no time attacking his pale, exposed throat with wet kisses and nibbles, eliciting a desperate moan from the boy.  

The older man lifted the intern by his ass, making him yelp in the process, but he quickly recovered and wrapped his legs around Tony’s waist. As the genius had thought, he was light as feather, and his small body fit perfectly enveloped in his. He pushed Peter against the wall, rolling his hips, and felt the boy’s already rock-hard cock poking him in the abs. Ah, to be in his twenties again.

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, kid.” He whispered hotly against his lips, before kissing him again, slower this time, more sensually, as he pressed his erection against Peter’s jeans. Both of his hands still clutched his ass roughly, and the younger man couldn’t seem decide if he wanted to push his ass back against the touch or if he wanted to rub against Tony’s stomach, so he tried to do both at the same time to the genius’s amusement.

“Well, then don’t keep me waiting, sir.” He dragged his lips from Tony’s mouth across his bearded jaw and towards his ear, where he bit his earlobe weakly and wetly and the older man shuddered, shocked at how hard he already was from just a little make out session. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, and still Peter was making him feel like one.

He smirked against the younger man’s neck, sucking the soft skin there hard enough to leave a bruise, and just the thought that people would see it and know that Peter belonged to someone – to him – made him even harder in his slacks, if it was even possible.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t,” Tony saw the fine hairs on Peter’s arms stand on end when he whispered those words in his ear. He put him back on the floor, taking advantage of the new position to deliberately slide his hands down the back of Peter’s jeans and underwear, shocking him with his boldness. He was delighted to finally feel the soft skin under his fingertips and he squeezed his flesh with so much want that he was sure Peter could feel it in his bones.

“Oh, God, Mr. Stark,” he whimpered when one of Tony’s fingers skillfully slid towards his entrance, teasing at the puckered hole without breaching it. This made both of them lose their breaths instantly, specially when the older man aligned their erections, rubbing them together and thrusting against him like a dog in heat.

“Gonna make you feel so good, kid,” he promised, pressing their lips back together, stealing yet another passionate kiss from him, and the boy didn’t shy away from it, he gave as good as he got, standing on his tiptoes, arms wrapped firmly around Tony’s neck. When the older man started pressing the very tip of his little finger inside him, the boy all but melted against the wall, dizzy.

“Mr. Stark, please, please...” Even in the dark – courtesy of JARVIS – Tony could tell that Peter’s cheeks were bright red and it made him smile, because even though they were doing such filthy things, he was still embarrassed by his own words.

“Shh, I got you, I got you...” He whispered against his lips, his pinkie pushing inside the quivering hole just a little bit more, since there was no lube, but that was enough to draw a ragged moan from the boy’s lips. He started fucking his finger in and out of him slowly, just up to his second knuckle, and Peter squeezed Tony’s shoulders and bit his lips, trying to contain his soft whimpers, and Tony was sure that if he was just a little younger, he would have come in his pants, right then and there.

“I’m not gonna let you fuck me in an elevator, Mr. Stark.” Even as he said that, his hips were pushed backwards, his ass cheeks spread open for him, trying to take more then Tony was willing to give him just yet. Still, Tony complied, slowly pulling his finger out of his hungry hole and a soft, pained cry left the boy’s lips as he did.  The billionaire quickly guided him inside the penthouse and considered taking the young man to his room upstairs, but he seriously didn’t think they could make it there, so he just headed towards the couch.

Tony took a seat there, spread his legs and immediately pulled the younger man in between them. From that angle, his face was level with the boy’s stomach, so he untucked his dress shirt from his pants and started kissing his navel, only to be pushed away softly. He watched, astonished and amazed, as Peter unbuttoned his shirt slowly, before dropping it to the floor.

He only had a few seconds to admire his pink, little nipples and his surprisingly toned abs before the boy was straddling him, stealing all his ability to think straight. The genius was fast to hold him by his thin waist, meanwhile the younger man attacked his neck, rolling his hips slowly, their erections pressed firmly against one another.

Tony started kissing down his chest, dragging his mouth towards his perky nipples. They were tiny and pale pink, like two little rose buds ready to be ravished. He’d spend hours biting, pinching and licking them if he could, but Peter seemed like a very impatient young man, so he wouldn’t keep him waiting long. He did hold one of his nipples between his fingers, though, pinching it carefully and rolling it slowly, as he lavished the other with sloppy, wet kisses. The sounds that came out of the boy’s mouth were pure sin as he tugged Tony’s hair, unable to decide if he wanted to push him away or pull him closer.

When both of his nipples were swollen hard and impossibly red, Tony pulled away, holding him carefully to switch positions and lie him on the couch. Luckily, it was a damn comfortable couch, and big enough to fit both of them with room to spare. He took advantage of the new position and took off Peter’s pants, along with his underwear, leaving him completely naked and exposed, splayed for his pleasure.

He was gorgeous. Even though he was small and thin, his chest and stomach were muscular, covered with miles of pale, unblemished skin. His nipples were swollen red and glistening with spit after Tony’s sweet abuse and his cock was small and flushed pink and leaking pre-cum, it looked painfully hard. The sight of him paralyzed the older man for a few seconds, but he soon focused on exploring every inch of skin with his hands and tongue, feeling flustered, wishing he could touch everywhere at the same time.

Once upon a time, he had a plan. He planned to make Peter beg him, he planned to use him to his own pleasure, he planned to leave him wanting more, not even let him come for all the time he kept him waiting. But at that moment, he couldn’t think of anything besides making him feel good, pleasuring him, making him come as hard as he ever could.

Peter spread his legs gracefully so that Tony could fit in between them, which he gladly did. He soon dragged his tongue down Peter’s smooth, hairless stomach, purposefully avoiding his cock on his way down. He heard the younger man whimpering weakly and smirked against his skin.

“Mr. Stark, please...” He whined, spreading his legs even more, his knuckles were white from griping the pillows on the couch like his life depended on it. Tony’s mouth filled with saliva when he had a clear view of Peter’s hole, pink and quivering, begging for something, anything, to touch it, to fill it.

“Please? Please what, Peter?” Tony inquired with feigned innocence, one of his fingers rubbing and pressing against his entrance lazily, without breaching it. It took everything in him not to lean down and lick him from his tailbone up to the tip of his cock, but Peter was begging so nicely, he just needed to say the word.

“Please… Your mouth… Anything. Please, just – anything.” Normally, Tony wouldn’t accept that incomplete answer, but he was so hard he was seriously worried he would come untouched before this was over, so he took hold of his ass cheeks and spread them even further. “Fuck!” Even like this, his hole still looked insanely tight which made Tony’s need to taste it all the more unbearable.

He dived in between his cheeks, licking and trying to press his tongue inside, as Peter panted and moaned and whined, moving around restlessly, trying to push his body against Tony’s tongue, muttering something incomprehensible. Tony concentrated on giving him pleasure, as much as he could, completely satisfied with how desperate the boy sounded.

“Oh, God, so good… This feels so good… God!” Tony smiled against his hole, without interrupting what he was doing. He tried to fuck him open with his tongue and felt the tight ring of muscles give way just a little bit, which was enough for the older man. He licked inside him, his beard burning the boy’s inner thighs as he thrashed and moaned incoherently. Tony’s fingers left their firm grip on Peter’s ass cheeks to play with his balls and the young man actually screamed when he did, tugging his hair hard. “No, no, it’s too much! I’m not gonna – I’m gonna –“ He didn’t have to say anything else, Tony knew exactly what he meant, he felt the same way and he hadn't even touched his dick yet.

The older man climbed on top of him and quickly, with trembling fingers, unbuttoned his slacks, pulling his impossibly hard cock out. He saw the way Peter licked his lips, as if ready to taste it, and he smirked.

“Not today, kid,” he said, flipping Peter onto his stomach on the couch. He spread his legs further and quickly coated two of his fingers with his own saliva, before pressing one against the tight ring of muscles. The very tip of his finger breached the boy’s hole, he clenched against it at first, only for him to relax completely a minute later. He was so turned on he barely offered any resistance and soon Tony was able to fuck in and out of him, slowly and steadily, mesmerized by the way his hole tried to suck his finger in, growing red from the abuse.

He pushed another finger inside along with the first one and again the boy tensed, making it almost impossible. The older man rubbed his flank with his other hand, cooing at him as he tried to ease the other finger in. When the younger man finally relaxed, Tony started scissoring his fingers, moving and curling them inside, trying to find –

“Mr. Stark! Oh, God, What – I’m –“ He was babbling now, hips thrusting up and down as he tried to rub against the couch and fuck back against Tony’s fingers. The older man indulged him for a little longer, rubbing insistently against the bundle of nerves, driving the younger man completely mad with pleasure. “Please, I’m so close!” Tony quickly drew his fingers out, grabbed his waist and put him on all fours, kneeling right behind him on the couch. He spit on his hand and tried to lube his cock as well as possible, there was no way he would stop what they were doing to look for lube in his room.

Without warning, he started pushing into him, slowly but unrelentingly, inch by painful inch. Peter took it so well, back arched, legs spread wide, ass cheeks held apart by one hand as Tony split him open. When he bottomed out, the boy let out a long, painful moan, his knuckles white from clutching the pillows around him, but he never tried to pull away.

Tony leaned down, his chest touching Peter’s back. He held him gently and started kissing his shoulders and the back of his neck, as he whispered that he was amazing, so good for him, such a good boy. Peter started rocking back against him and the older man soon caught on. He straitened his back, hands squeezing the boy’s ass cheeks hard, keeping them open for easier access. His flesh was soft and firm under his palms and the contrast of his bare skin against Tony’s clothed body made him feel so powerful, the boy was fully naked and he was almost fully dressed, only his dick out, pounding into him mercilessly.

Peter could barely hold himself up, soon his elbows gave out and he pressed his face and chest to the couch, ass in the air, and Tony thought that had to be the best view in the room, the sounds Peter made were the best song ever played. He thrust inside him without any finesse, chasing his release, although he still had a little bit of clarity left to make sure Peter got there first.

The younger man shuddered and Tony knew he was on the right track, he wrapped a hand around the boy’s painfully hard cock and that was all it took, he came all over his hand, screaming his name, and before his body could go lax and pliant, Tony held his waist with both hands and let go, fucking into him like a wild animal, all the pent up sexual energy taking over his mind. Seconds later, he was spilling into him, an orgasm that felt endless, so powerful that when he opened his eyes again, Peter was already asleep under him.

He only had enough energy to roll over, so he wouldn’t crush the younger man, then he pulled him into his arms and passed out on the couch.

--*--

Tony wasn’t a coward, he was just really bad with morning afters, he was usually slapped, or yelled at, and that was why he had a protocol in place. So if the next morning he was in his office at 8AM, watching the live video stream from the security cameras in his penthouse, he couldn’t be judged for that.

He watched as Peter woke up with a start when JARVIS opened up the drapes in the living room, stating the time and the temperature. He hid his naked body with the blanket Tony had covered him with before leaving, and looked around, confused and seemingly a little scared, not recognizing where he was. Tony’s guts twisted guilty, it would probably be much easier if he was there, if he had kissed him awake slowly, allowing him time to adjust to his surroundings.

“Good morning, Mr. Parker.” He was even more spooked when he heard Pepper’s voice, turning around on the couch only to be confronted with her in all her impeccable glory, sharp clothes, killer heels, sophisticated bun and all. He looked so lost and confused. “I’ve got your clothes here, they’ve been dry cleaned and pressed. There’s a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you’d like to go. Mr. Stark sends his apologies, but he had an early meeting this morning.”

Finally, he seemed to understand what was going on and he nodded dazedly. Tony couldn’t see it through the cameras, but he was sure the boy was blushing furiously as he got up quickly and stumbled towards Pepper, covered only in a dark red blanket.

“Yes, thank you, sorry.” He said, meekly, taking his clothes from her hands. “Wh – uhn – could I maybe, uhm. Could you point me to the bathroom, ma’am?” He asked, eyes glued to the floor, and Tony felt fucking terrible, fuck, he should be there, he absolutely should be there, but he couldn’t get out of his chair and go, he just stared at the images as Pepper nodded gently, a motherly smile on her face.

“Of course, bathroom is right through there.” She pointed towards the hallway and Peter scurried away.

All this time, Tony thought he would feel amazing after having Peter, but he just felt sick and empty.

--*--

So, yeah, maybe Tony was a coward after all, that would be the only way to explain why he was avoiding Bruce’s lab for four days now, but he couldn’t quite figure out what he was feeling. For so many months, all he wanted to do was get into Peter’s pants, and now that he had, he didn’t feel the satisfaction that he thought he would.

Instead, he couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. About his trusting eyes as they rode the elevator up to his penthouse, about the way his skin trembled and shivered under his fingers, about how he was able to take the boy apart piece by piece, but never put him back together. He couldn’t stop thinking about how confused, and hurt, and ashamed he looked the following morning, as he took his clothes from Pepper; couldn’t stop thinking about the look of painful regret on his face as he rode the elevator down to the reception area, ignoring the car Tony left waiting for him.

Peter called in sick that day and he didn’t show up to work on Monday either, Bruce told him he had the flu, but eyed him suspiciously when Tony asked about the boy. The young intern went back to work on Tuesday, though, and Tony had meant to talk to him, to say something, but he didn’t. He couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say. And days went by, and days turned into a week, and silence felt wrong, but safe.

So Tony still didn’t know what to say when he accessed Peter’s file on Saturday, against JARVIS’s better judgement, and looked up his address. He still didn’t know what to say as he drove all the way to Queens, hands sweaty, heart pounding against his chest. He didn’t really have a plan when he ringed Peter’s apartment and his sweet, sweet voice sounded through the intercom.

“Yes?”

“Peter, it’s me. Tony. Stark.” He felt so stupid saying that, he thought the younger man could probably recognize his voice. There was silence on the other end for almost two whole minutes and Tony considered ringing the doorbell again, but Peter spoke up.

“You should leave.”

“No, wait!” He waved at the intercom as if the young man could see him. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asked defiantly, and Tony shrugged.

“Can we please talk face to face?” He pleaded and that wasn’t his style, that wasn’t his style at all, if it was anyone else, he would have left already, but this was Peter, and he had hurt him –

“Is this work related?”

“If I say it is, will you let me up?” He insisted and he heard the younger man sigh.

“If you’re going to fire me, just do it right now, it will save us both time.”

“I’m not gonna fire you, Peter, just please let me talk to you.” He wasn’t above begging at that point, but that wasn’t necessary, because after a few seconds, Peter buzzed him in, but he didn’t say a word.

The older man rushed inside, as if the boy could change his mind and close the door. The elevator was broken, so he took the stairs, two steps at a time, and soon he was on Peter’s floor and the young man was leaning against his doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

“Peter –“

“You humiliated me,” he cut him off, staring at the floor. “You sent your PA to get rid of me, like I was trash that needed taking out,” his voice was really quiet and Tony couldn’t see his face because his head was hanging low, but he could hear the sadness in his voice.

“I know, I’m sorry, Peter, I’m so –“ He tried to step closer to the younger man, but he wasn’t sure if that would be welcomed.

“This is exactly why I didn’t wanna go out with you in the first place, you know. I was stupid to think – It was all an act, right?” He finally looked up at Tony, his eyes were red, but there were no tears. “The coffee dates, your interest in what I had to say, the praises...”

“No – I mean, yes – I don’t know.” Tony sighed, running his hands through his hair as he paced, way too confused for a man in his forties. He shouldn’t be this fucked up over some kid that he fucked a week ago, for fuck’s sake, what the fuck was wrong with him.

“You made me fall in love with you, then you tossed me away like I was nothing –”

“Made you what?” He turned to Peter quickly and he saw the boy drying his cheeks and a terrible feeling took over him and he rushed towards the younger man, reaching out to him, but didn’t dare to touch him. “Shh, please don’t cry, please. I’m so sorry, baby.” The endearment just fell out of his lips unprompted, and he really didn’t know what was wrong with him, but words just kept spilling out of his mouth, as he got closer and closer to Peter. “I’m sorry, let me make it up to you, ok?”

“I don’t want you to make it up to me, just forget about it.” He pushed Tony away, rubbing at his face. “Forget I said anything, just leave me –“

“I fell for you, too.” There, he said it. He fucking said it and it felt right, it calmed his restless thoughts, it answered all the questions he didn’t dare ask, not even inside his head. The unnamed feeling that made his heart beat like the world was ending whenever he thought of the boy’s trusting eyes staring up at him.

“You don’t mean that, you’re just saying it ‘cause you feel sorry. I don’t need your pity, I just…” He groaned, shaking his head, avoiding Tony’s gaze. “I just wish you had been honest with me.”

“I wanted to fuck you.” Tony blurted out, watching as the younger man’s eyes widened. “And because I’m an asshole, I was willing to do whatever it took to have you. Even lie to you, mislead you. So I did. That’s the truth, but not the whole truth.” He rushed to say when he the younger man started heading inside, ready to slam the door in his face. He turned to glare at Tony. “I’m not trying to pretend like I’m a good guy here, I’m not, I’m a jerk, ok? And I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I wasn’t too worried that you would get hurt in the process of me getting what I wanted.”

“Is there a point to any of this? Or you just like making me feel like shit?” The boy was furious, his eyes were red and his hair was a mess, but Tony still thought he looked gorgeous.

“The point is – you can trust me to fuck things up, always. That’s what I do. I’m selfish and self-centered and I’m not very good with feelings, so I’m sorry in advance for all the trouble it’s gonna cause you, but I like you. I really do. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, and I have no reason to lie anymore, so just give me a chance to make it right and I will. I don’t deserve it, but as you might have noticed, I’m an asshole who can’t take no for an answer, so you can either say yes now or you can say yes later, after I’ve done my fair share of begging and groveling, either way is fine with me. I’m a patient man, or so I’ve recently found out.” Tony crossed his arms as if it could protect him from how exposed those words made him feel. Peter stared at him like he had grown a second head, but there was hope and amusement in his eyes, so maybe it wasn’t a lost cause.

“You really are an asshole, Tony Stark,” He said, finally, what had to be mere seconds after Tony’s rant, but felt like an eternity. The older man sighed and shrugged, arms still crossed over his chest as Peter approached him slowly, like he would a small baby animal.

“I really, really am.” He nodded, seriously, because it really was true, but he wanted to be better, he would try to be better, Peter deserved as much. The young man stopped in front of him, his tiny, usually steady hands, were trembling softly when he reached out and touched the older man’s arms.

“And I’m so gonna regret this.” He forced Tony to uncross his arms, placing himself in between them, and the genius’s heart was beating so loudly against his ribcage he was sure Peter could hear it and would probably feel it, but he pulled him close, anyway, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

“Yes, yes, you are.” Again, he nodded seriously, because it was true, it was so very true, and if he were a better man he wouldn’t allow Peter to make such a huge mistake.

“Fine.” But since he was a terrible man on his way to hell, he opened his mouth and swallowed that word as it came out of Peter’s mouth and kissed him hard, held him close, and promised himself that he would work his ass off to deserve Peter, even if he knew it was never gonna be enough.

[always-and-forever-a-killjoy]

Hello fuckers! This is the ridiculously long fic I've been vagueposting about for like weeks. 23k words sitting in a doc! I'll be trying to post maybe once every two weeks, but once school starts again it will be a lot harder to get out 3k words in a week. I have seven chapters written, so I'll consistently update for probably 2-3 months and then no promises after that. This is going to be a fucking epic.

Note that not all warnings  apply to all the chapters, so I'll be warning for triggering/upsetting content in each chapter individually. Please heed those!

You all also get to play a game of 'guess which song the chapter title is pulled from', which is made more difficult by my music taste ranging from musicals (les mis! DEH!) to my chemical romance. I'll let you know what the chapter title was from when I post the next chapter. Also, the POV switches each chapter, so that info is also in the notes.

Title: Coming, Coming Home

Chapter Title: Do you want to live out loud?

Chapter Wordcount: 3099

Summary:

The story of 109 WKIL, from the mother that began it to the daughter who saw the end of it.

Warnings: None for this chapter!

Taglist: @wishiwasthemoon-tonight @sleevesareforlosers @stressed-depressed-emo-mess @tasteofamnesia @dagger-queen @no-braincells-here @piratecherricola (message me, send an ask, or reblog/reply to one of my posts if you want to be added or removed)

AO3 Link

(Actual fic under the cut)

It began with a handheld radio.

The killjoy who was already beginning to be known as Dr. Death Defying had stolen quiet a few of these portable transmitting devices when he left the army of the corporation called Better Living Industries. Now, he began to give them out, one after another, to the small clusters of rebels who were just beginning to call themselves killjoys. With those, the groups kept each other updated for a while, passing whispers back and forth over the airwaves. The positions of squads of dracs, who had extra supplies, where there were good buildings to scavenge from or shelter in.

Those were highly effective in the small rebellion, news passing quickly between the few rebels, but as more killjoys began to enter to desert, take up the colors and masks and ray guns and form themselves into a true rebellion, it was getting to be not enough. 

“We need something with a wider reach.”

Dr. Death Defying was sitting at the so-called strategy table (which in actuality was a shitty kitchen table strategically repurposed), listening to White Lily talk about rebellion. It was another ordinary afternoon, or as ordinary as one could get in a post-apocalyptic nuclear desert plotting to overthrow an evil mega corporation. The sun was shining brightly overhead, and he and his best friend, the fiery spirited White Lily, were in a partially wrecked house out in Zone Four, where they had been staying for most of the time since the Helium Wars. Both former soldiers, they had served together for a little bit after D had first been recruited. He had been transferred to a different squadron soon after, and they hadn’t deserted together, but they’d met up after the wars and become close friends. Two dreamers who wanted to save the world, she had said. And so now they were trying to do just that, one killjoy recruit at a time.

“If this is going to be a true revolution, Walkie-talkies aren’t going to cut it,” White Lily went on. “We need a way to reach more people. Get the word out quicker.”

“Did you have any particular ideas?” Dr. Death Defying asked dryly.

Her eyes gleamed in the way that meant she did, in fact, have an idea. “A radio station.”

“A what?”

“A radio station. I know I sound crazy, but hear me out. If we can get our hands on the equipment, a lot of killjoys already have radios and that way we can also reach the ones with only a car radio. We broadcast news- who’s dead, where bli is attacking, just generally what’s going on. We can also make speeches over the radio, like what’s his face, the president guy, did with his fireside chats."

“FDR. And you can make speeches over the radio.” It wasn’t that he couldn’t, per se, but he would rather leave the main speaking part of it to her.

White Lily briefly made a sad face, but was back to determination within seconds. “Right, well I can make big speeches if you do daily announcements and news, deal?”

“Deal.” They realized a second later what they had just accidentally agreed to and sighed. 

The other just grinned. “Time to get some radio equipment!”

And so it began with a hand held radio and a duo of Helium Wars survivors, and 109 WKIL was born.

109 WKIL didn’t actually broadcast until two full months and a new crew member later. It turned out to be not exactly easy to get their hands on the equipment necessary to send out signals, and neither of them knew precisely what running a radio station required anyways. They researched as best they could, asking around and reading any old books they could find, but supplies were scarce and electronic equipment especially so. And so they didn’t get the radio station fully running until after the arrival of their third crew member.

It was another of the somewhat lazy afternoons in the desert when Cherri Cola showed up at their house in a stolen BLI News Van. White Lily was gone, off talking to a small band of neutrals and trying to persuade them to aid the rebellion, so it was Dr. Death Defying who was there to see a no-longer white van screech to a stop. He kept his ray gun close as he stepped outside, since the van was Better Living Industries, but the side of it had a sprinkling of graffiti and it was covered in dust, which reassured him somewhat.

“Hello?”

The van’s engine clicked off and Dr. Death Defying breathed a sigh of relief as a lean teenager hopped out, squinting in the sunlight. They were clearly a killjoy, given the pink mask, and they also wore scuffed jeans and a too-small black jacket despite the warmth of a desert afternoon. Their hair was brown and a sandy mess, and they were perhaps an inch or two shorter than Dr. Death Defying. They were completely and utterly un-intimidating with the sole exception of their eyes, which blazed with fierce and bitter kind of anger. 

“Another killjoy?” Their voice squeaked a little, undoing any effect of those fiery eyes, and they cleared their throat. “Uh, another killjoy?”

At loss for words, he nodded. “I’m Dr. Death Defying, he/him and they/them.”

“Cherri Cola.” They fiddled with their shirt hem. “He/him.”

“So…I’m assuming you’re looking for White Lily?”

“Was actually just looking for a place to stay the night,” Cherri Cola mumbled. “I didn’t realize you were already staying here, I can leave-“

“Absolutely not, get inside.” They hoped their voice didn’t sound too firm. “White Lily and I are happy to let people stay with us who need.”

“Oh.” D pretended not to notice the relief on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Do you want to come into the shade? It’s baking out here.” He didn’t mention how hot the other killjoy must be in that jacket.

“Yes, please.” 

So he led the strange teenager inside, half-wondering what made the teen’s eyes so old and filled with hurt and rage. It wasn’t an uncommon sight in the zones, per se, but this kid’s eyes were striking in their pain.

“So, how old are you?”

“Sixteen, you?”

“Twenty. Do you want some power pup? We’ve got a bit of extra, I think.”

Cherri nodded eagerly, and he devoured everything D put in front of him. “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to pull off a raid or anything, and hacking vending machines isn’t as easy as it looks.”

That would explain why he was so lean. “You’ve got the look of someone who’s been out in the desert a while.”

“Almost since the end of the wars.” There was no need for him to specify which wars. The Helium Wars loomed over everyone and everything, desert and city. 

“Ah. I’ve been here since the very end of the wars, so not too much longer than you. My friend White Lily and I were both deserters, we met up and decided to stick it to the man, as it were.” 

“So you live together?” Cherri Cola’s face had softened into curiosity.

“Yep. We’ve been sheltering in this house for quite a while now, but we’ve lived together for longer than that.” 

Cherri nodded. “I’m on my own. Runaway from Battery City, never found a crew. It must be nice to live with your friend, though.”

At that moment, said friend came tromping through the door. “Hello, D!”

“Hey, Lily!”    

Cherri waved with a quiet “Hello.”

“Hello, random stranger in my kitchen!”

Dr. Death Defying sighed. “White Lily, this is Cherri Cola, he/him. Cherri Cola, this is White Lily, she/her.”

“Nice to meet you,” Cherri said politely. 

“Nice to meet you too, kid! So I’m assuming this softy offered you a place to sleep for the night?”

“I did, he needed a place to stay.”

“Softy.” White Lily turned her grin on Cherri Cola. “You’re welcome to stay for a bit, we’ve got a nice place and an extra room, so I don’t see why you wouldn’t.”

“I can pull my weight,” he offered quietly. “I know how to sew and some first aid and a little bit of fighting, but I’m not great yet.”

“What makes you think you have to pull your weight for us to give you a room for a night?” Lily’s face was genuinely concerned. “Can’t believe I’m going to say this, but chill, kid.”

There was something in Cherri’s eyes that reminded D a little of a wounded animal as he glanced up at Lily. “You’re sure I don’t have to be helpful? I can do a lot of things- okay, not a lot, but I’m pretty good at fixing things and I know how to fire a ray gun, even if I can’t really do hand-to-hand combat.”

"Well, if some dracs attack, then you can put that to good use,” D told him.

“Wait, did you say you can fix things? Tech skills?” Lily leaned forward, and D didn’t have to see her face to know what she was thinking. 

“My…I knew someone who’s an engineer,” Cherri explained.  “I know how to fix a lot of things.”

“You don’t happen to know anything about radio equipment, do you?”

“Lily,” D sighed.

“Some, why?”

“We could use some help getting a radio station off the ground. And shush, D, if he’s going to stay anyways, we might as well figure out if he can help.”

“A radio station…do you have a transmitter? Or anything of the sort? And you need modulators.”

“We’ve got the modulators,” D told him. “We need a transmitter, the little one I found isn’t near powerful enough.”

Cherri Cola frowned, tilting his head. “Well, I’ve got a news van with what I’m assuming is a very powerful transmitter, haven’t tried to use it yet, though. We’d have to figure out how to make it work with audio instead of video, but I bet you could use the antenna from that. An FM station shouldn’t take too much technology, depends on how wide you want the range to be. Power is probably more of an issue?”

“We’ve got some large batteries, do you think we need a more permanent power source?”

They talked until the sun was starting to set, Cherri having quite a bit of useful advice and knowledge to supplement what little research D managed.

And after Cherri was safely asleep in the spare room, Dr. Death Defying and White Lily convened back at the shitty kitchen ‘strategy’ table. 

“You’re not seriously thinking of letting him stay forever,” Lily said as soon as she had taken her seat.

“Why not?” Usually, it would be Lily who asked this question, but “He needs a home.”

“This better not be fucking Socks all over again.” Socks, being, of course, the cat D had tried to take in during the Helium Wars. Not only had he been a lot of trouble, he had eventually run off onto the battlefield, and neither of them had been able to stop him. They could only assume he had been killed in the final days of the wars.

D still regretted that, but this was different. “He’s not a cat, Lil. But he does need a safe place to stay. Besides, you were the one who was grilling him about radio station technology.”

“At first. Then you took over with all your technical words and phrases.”

“All we were doing was talking transmitters.”

“Nerd boy.” 

D sighed. “Anyways. He can clearly be helpful, given how much he knows about radio technology and other things, and he’s obviously in need of a place to stay.”

“Well, we’ve got one of those at least,” Lily sighed. “He better end up a good radio station assistant for you.”

D knew that meant Cherri was staying. “We’ll offer to let him join in the morning.”

“We will.” Lily’s face was serious. “Be prepared for him to say no, D. We’re not famous yet, but being friends with rebellion leaders probably isn’t an easy lot.”

“Of course not.” The flashlight they had hung for light flickered. “We’ll warn him about a friendship with us means, but we can’t just kick him out.”

“Technically, we can, but we’re not going to.”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

The next morning dawned slightly overcast, which was rare in the desert. It provided somewhat of a gloomy atmosphere as Cherri Cola wandered into their living room area with a tired “Morning.”       

“Morning,” Lily yawned back. D was the only one properly awake at the crack of dawn, always an early riser. 

He found it somewhat amusing how non-functional Lily was until she had had some coffee or gotten some adrenaline from a fight. “Good morning.”

Cherri settled down in one of the chairs cautiously as Lily opened her mouth again. “So, D and I were talking. Big softy that he is, he wants to let you stay with us if you want, and I figured you might be pretty handy when it comes to radio stations.”

“Don’t let her twist it, she’s equally on board.” D resisted a sigh. “We do have to warn you, we’re leading a rebellion. Lily is, at least. I’m something like a right hand, I suppose. So it will be dangerous and difficult to be friends with us, and the radio station will not be an easy endeavor either.”

“Can’t be worse than…” Cherri trailed off. “Can’t be worse than wandering the desert on your own in a stolen news van. Do you really want me to stay?”

“Hey, we always want another pair of hands.” White Lily’s joking tone didn’t get a grin out of him.  “You seem like a neat kid, why not let you stay?”

“Guess so.” Cherri yawned again. “So, do you happen to have a screwdriver? I think I’ve got some ideas about the modulators.”

So Cherri Cola came to live with them. His primary occupation was trying to get the radio station able to broadcast, alongside Dr. Death Defying, combining each of their respective technology skill with a lot of guesswork and the knowledge gleaned from whatever books they could find. He rarely went on runs with White Lily at first, but as they found out a week or so in, he turned out to be more than a decent shot with a ray gun.

“Holy fuck, Cola.” White Lily was staring at the empty can he had just knocked over- from a distance of a hundred and twenty feet, further than D or Lily had managed yet. 

“Is that a good or a bad ‘holy fuck’?”

“Good. Holy shit. D and I haven’t hit that yet, not with a shitty little ray gun like yours anyways.”

“What’s wrong with this ray gun?”

“No offense, but that’s a piece of shit.” D watched as she took the ray gun and weighted it in her hands before handing her own to Cherri. “Feel what this one’s like- it’s a little heavier, but it’s a lot nicer. Yours doesn’t even have a stun setting.”

It took him one or two practice shots, but within a few minutes he was shooting even more effectively.

“A hundred and FIFTY feet! D, did you see that?”

“I did,” D told her, glancing over at the youngest of their little trio. “Cherri, we need to get you a better ray gun.” 

The better ray gun would have to wait, though, as the next day, they finally found the last few pieces of equipment and things that they would need for the radio station. They had decided that 109 WKIL would broadcast from the news van Cherri had arrived in, since the antenna was already attached and that way it could be portable if Better Living Industries managed to track their signal. So a few days of fixing later, they had cobbled together a working radio apparatus that could broadcast at a range of thirty miles or so. It had taken a lot of swearing, banging around, and failed test runs, but eventually they had it figured out.

The very first broadcast fell to D, as it was decided he would be the main DJ, and he settled at the panel a little nervously. Cherri was crouched beside him, fiddling with the last few cords. 

“Think we’re good to go,” he whispered.

"Right. Here goes nothing.” D took a deep breath. “One-oh-nine in the sky and the pigs won’t quit, welcome to the very first broadcast by one oh nine WKIL, the rebellious radio station of the desert. I’m Dr. Death Defying, and I’ll be your usual DJ, keeping you updated on all the news from claps to raids to Mad Gear concerts.”

The script had been decided on beforehand so that he didn’t stumble too much, but he still had to pause to take another quick breath and steady himself. “We’ll be doing our broadcast at this time every morning, pretty soon after alarm clock radiation, and we’ll be fanning the spark of this desert into a flame. So tune in, listeners, for all the latest updates, weather, traffic reports, and the best music we’ve got. One oh nine in the sky, this is Dr. Death Defying signing off.”

Cherri gave them a broad grin and a thumbs-up as D fumbled to click the right buttons to get the music going. D grinned right back, and White Lily came charging into the van a few minutes later, brandishing the radio they had been using to test their broadcasting capabilities. 

“It worked! You came though loud and clear, even a good ten miles away, and you’re already getting good at this. I told you, you could do it!” She gave him a high five, grinning, and turned to Cherri. “And good job, soda kid! You’re already a radio station technician.”

Cherri laughed and high-fived her. “Wasn’t expecting to become one at sixteen, but not the worst place I could have ended up.”

They had tried to spread the word as best as possible about the radio station beforehand, so D knew there had been a fair amount of killjoys already listening to the first broadcast. And word travelled quickly in the desert, so he didn’t doubt their listener base would grow over the years. But for now, the rebellion was small, and the twenty-one-year-old leader and her two best friends were heading inside for a celebratory breakfast of power pup.

[pinnithin-writes]

Good Jokes

Chapter 5

The monster in the launch bay was a bit of an issue. Could have used a heads up on that one, dad. Tommy watched, mouth partially open in mild shock, as a long, clawed arm busted through the window and plucked an employee out of the control room like they were a daisy.

“Do you need any help?” Bubby called, most unhelpfully.

Tommy was at least a little glad that he lived in a world that was still able to surprise him, even after everything he’d seen. He just wished he could be surprised in a more pleasant way. This gigantic, reaching creature with blades for arms was an unexpected inconvenience to say the least.

“I read through all seven thousand, two hundred and seventy one pages of the nuclear guidelines document and that’s not in there,” Tommy remarked sarcastically.

Gordon, stretched with fear like a rubber band, still found it in himself to let out an astonished laugh. “That’s not in any book written by a human.”

They dove into the guts of the rocket control facility in search of power. It was an absurdly long trek for something so crucial, made longer by the stabbing claws reaching down periodically to impale them. Gordon and the others were actually handling themselves pretty well considering how immense the danger was, leaving Tommy to focus on more important things, like corralling Benrey.

Tommy wasn’t sure how a skeleton managed to look so smug, but it did. The entity floated in and out of perception, distracting Gordon as much as possible while staying an acceptable distance away. Tommy kept a threatening eye on him as best as he could while being covert about it. At one point, however, the specter got a little too close for comfort while Tommy was mid-conversation with Gordon, and he pointed his firearm directly at him.

“Oh! Yes, you’re very on the uh,” his attention fell from the subject as he glared daggers at Benrey. “…up…swing, Mr. Freeman.”

The entity was hovering directly behind Gordon’s shoulder, grinning cheekily. Well, cheeklessly, if Tommy was being literal. His pistol was trained right between its eye sockets.

Gordon noticed. “Can you please not point your gun at me when you’re complimenting me?” he asked nervously.

Tommy didn’t answer. There was little reassurance one could offer a mortal staring down the barrel of a 45, even if it was pointed slightly to the right of his ear. What would he even say to him? It’s impossible for me to miss, Mr. Freeman? I could stop any bullet from hitting you if I wanted, Mr. Freeman? He kept his aim steady. Benrey didn’t move.

Next to him, Bubby gave Tommy an interested look. “Tommy, are you okay?” he asked.

The question surprised him. That was probably the first time Bubby had expressed any concern for him since he’d met him. He blinked and searched for any clarifying words he could offer them.

“I’m… not pointing it at your head, Mr. Freeman.”

Gordon’s laugh was a couple pitches higher than Tommy had come to expect. He was scared. Tommy was scaring him. And Benrey knew it.

“That’s right,” Gordon said, shaky sarcasm bleeding into his own words. “You’re pointing it about two inches away from my head.”

“Now, Tommy,” Dr. Coomer chirped in alarm. “It’s important to practice good trigger discipline."

Tommy was aware. Don’t point at anything you don’t intend to shoot. Don’t put your finger on the trigger unless you plan on pulling it. He’d done the training. He knew the rules. He also could curve bullets in midair by folding space like a sheet of paper, but that was neither here nor there.

Gordon was still talking to him like he was a spooked animal. “An important thing to understand about gun safety, Tommy, is that when you squeeze the trigger, you’re applying pressure to it-”

Benrey reached for Gordon with a skeletal hand. Tommy took the shot.

It rang through the buckled metal hallway, sending their ears whining from the aftershock. Gordon flinched and stared at Tommy, stunned. Benrey ducked out of the way, rattling to himself in what Tommy suspected was grim laughter. Fuck this guy. Didn’t he have anyone else to hang around with?

Tommy dropped his aim and flicked an apologetic glance at Gordon. He didn’t explain himself. How could he?

The other man held Tommy’s gaze, examining him as if he were a particularly tormenting puzzle.“Y’know?” he said finally, waving a dismissive hand. “Whatever.” He turned to go.

“I-” Tommy stammered. He couldn't leave things like that. “I’m always squeezing the trigger!” he blurted. Making an ass of himself usually worked. “Should I not be doing that?”

A shrill hyena’s laugh startled out of Gordon. “No!” He cast him a wide-eyed, disbelieving look, as if he wasn’t sure if Tommy was being serious. “No! You’re supposed to take your finger off the trigger, kid.”

Next to Tommy, Dr. Coomer raised his own firearm in Gordon’s direction. A threat? An act of solidarity? “We need to get a move on,” he told them matter-of-factly.

Tommy and Gordon exchanged a glance. They got a move on.

Benrey was jangling with invisible mirth in Tommy’s ear as they went. He grit his teeth and ignored him.

---

Dr. Coomer, in the end, was the one who worked the hardest to dispel the tension between the group. As the clone grew more comfortable with the company he kept, his personality was beginning to shine through in spectacular ways. Tommy found himself repeatedly shocked and delighted by the scientist’s absurd sense of humor.

It was a balm to their increasing plight as they fought their way through the reactor to turn on the power. When Coomer gleefully declared, “You’re a nasty little sewage boy, aren’t you, Gordon?” Tommy nearly blacked out laughing. It was almost enough to get him to forget about Benrey entirely.

Until, of course, the entity’s body finished manifesting. Benrey appeared on an industrial elevator, arms crossed and looking like a shark out to feed. God, he was still wearing that stupid security officer uniform. Gordon, shocked, marched up to him without hesitation, demanding answers. Tommy just watched him with slitted eyes from a good distance away, weapon in hand.

Beside him, Dr. Coomer was equally wary, eyeing the entity with an instinctual suspicion. Bubby had his arms folded with interest as he watched.

Benrey had barely uttered two sentences when Gordon smashed him in the face with a crowbar. He reeled backward from the blow, hand clapped to his jaw, neck cracked at an unnatural angle. There was a soft groan from the entity as Gordon kept an iron grip on his weapon.

Tommy stared. Whoa.

“Get the fuck back,” Gordon threatened, readying another strike. “I’m not taking your shit anymore, man.”

Benrey shuddered, rolled his neck grotesquely, and snapped it back into place. Silence followed, during which the entity gazed past Gordon to meet eyes with Tommy. He was breathing hard, a stunned expression on his face. Tommy allowed the barest of smirks to touch his mouth. He’s not an idiot, idiot.

“Did you just hit me?” Benrey finally asked pitifully, returning his attention to Gordon. Tommy fought not to roll his eyes.

“I did!” Gordon exploded. “I did just hit you! I’m sick of you!”

Tommy watched the guy unload his frustration from the past few days onto the reborn anomaly, and he had to admit it was satisfying to watch. Benrey was maddeningly calm throughout the whole exchange, quickly recovering from the initial shock of getting clobbered and resigning to stare at Gordon in a bored sort of way.

“I thought you died!” Gordon curbed his rant, throwing a wild-eyed stare back at the group for verification.

Tommy gave a tiny shrug. They had all died, technically. Save for himself, who didn’t make a habit out of dying if he could help it. Recreating a physical form took time and energy that Tommy didn’t always have, and it would be pretty rude of him to just disappear on the team while they were trekking through the hallways of hell. As for Bubby and Coomer, Tommy suspected their regenerative properties hashed out quicker and simpler with their photocopied DNA. And Benrey, well, he just didn’t give a fuck.

The two of them were still arguing, and Gordon let out a derisive laugh. “What do you want me to do?” He demanded of the entity, flinging out a hand animatedly.

Benrey tipped his chin. “You wanna stop moving? Why are you avoiding eye contact?”

“Wh-“ Gordon snorted. “I’m looking at my buddies. What do you want me to do, lay down and die? You want me to stay in Black Mesa while the fuckin-“

“Yeah,” Benrey interrupted, lazily inspecting his nails. “Yep. That’d be great.”

Gordon chuckled darkly. “I’m not about to do that. I’m a strong willed fucking guy, okay?”

Tommy snickered. Strong willed was right. Gordon Freeman was the only person he knew who would not only immediately thrash an eldritch monster on sight, but then follow up the drubbing by full-volume shouting when he refused to die. What a guy. Tommy knew he liked him for a reason.

Benrey cleared his throat. “Well, y’know,” he said loudly. “I’ll just have to follow you, then. Make sure you’re not going to steal anymore carts like you did earlier.”

Gordon’s mouth was agape in outrage. He cast another incredulous look back at the group, desperate for backup. “Are you on his side?” he asked. “Are you on his side about all of this?”

Tommy met his eyes and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. No, he wasn’t. But there was no keeping Benrey from sticking around if he’d got it in his head to do so. The best they could do was tolerate him and watch him closely, doing damage control as they went. Tommy had played the keep-away game with Benrey before. Benrey always won.

Bubby’s stare was hard, his mouth an impatient line. Beside him, Dr. Coomer had drawn his pistol again and was aiming it at the entity. “Gordon, is there an issue?” the boxer asked. “I would like to get moving.”

“We outnumber this guy four to one,” Gordon insisted.

Nobody said anything, trapped behind the walls of their own thoughts. The intercom grated overhead, ordering Gordon Freeman to passport inspection.

“Look, that’s what happens,” Benrey went on with a careless shrug. “You gotta stop acting up.”

Gordon was going to break his own jaw with how hard he was grinding his teeth. But he gave up trying to reason with the entity and beckoned the team on board the elevator.

They clambered inside and the lift shuddered down. Tommy stood near Benrey, watching him carefully as he sulked on the edge of the machine. The entity was still eyeing a seething Gordon, pupils dilated like a cat’s.

“Stop looking at me,” Gordon snapped. “Stop fucking looking at me.”

Before Benrey could open his mouth to reply, Tommy pressed the muzzle of his handgun against his cheekbone. A casual gesture for such a blatant threat. His eyes glittered with a warning.

“Here you go, Benrey,” he said mildly. “Here’s my passport.”

Benrey glared at Tommy and said nothing. Tommy wasn’t paying attention to the entity, instead fixing his gaze on Gordon. He had relaxed an iota with Benrey successfully diverted, and a hint of color touched his cheeks as he stared openly at Tommy. Was he blushing? It seemed unlikely.

Tommy gave Gordon a small nod as the elevator quaked around them. There was so much he wished he could tell him, about Benrey, about himself, about his father’s inscrutable machinations. The unbearable weight of knowing and not knowing hung between them. They were lost in this fucking horror pit together, and all Tommy wanted to do was reach out and take Gordon’s hand and claw through the darkness beside him.

The best Tommy could do was point a firearm at a reality altering trickster god and hope Gordon would catch what he meant. I’m with you. I’ve got your back. You can trust me.

You can trust me.

Chapter 4 <-----> Chapter 6

[cannabisrefugee-esq]

Moron The Feminist Psy-Op. Women Really Are Mentally and Physically Ill. We've Been Bred For It for 10,000 Years.

I wrote in this space before about what I am calling the Feminist Psy-Op where American women have been bamboozled via feminism to activate against our own interests where we traded our natural dominion over food, water, and plant-based medicine — the literal necessities of life — for the promise (a mere promise!) of increased consumerist power to buy those things from men.   Although it was too late by then to save ourselves anyway where male-made nuclear contamination and other industrial pollution had already permanently poisoned our land including the soil, air, water and biomass (read: food, pets and ourselves) in the second half of the 20th century American feminists agreed to voluntarily and forever give up any claim we may’ve had over the only things that really mattered and we and everyone and every living thing on the planet have only suffered since.  Because as they say, if you don’t have your health you don’t have anything.

As a general matter, and to the extent it is dependent on a healthy physical environment, our health had already been taken from us but we agreed, essentially, to not complain about it and to give it all over to Big Brother — to Let Go and Let God (where God is men and patriarchy). This sickening trade-off — female power over food, water and the necessities of life in exchange for a male promise — was and is what is known as American feminism.  As the timeline suggests, we were already in serious trouble by the time any American woman got the vote where toxic industrial pollution was already a serious problem by the early 1900s; likewise, by the time the 1960s rolled around (the 60s being the start of American radical feminism when female anti-war activists broke away from misogynistic male anti-war politicking) male-made nuclear pollution had been circulating in our air, water and biomass for some 20 years and was only getting both more common and more extreme.  I can only conclude that women’s agreement to hand over power to men was symbolic by that point and was only ever intended to thought-terminate and shut us up forever about the so-called and strategically denigrated “matters of the home” including the completely predictable effects of male-made pollution on our health and lives.

We already weren’t healthy though if we are honest about it, where women have been bred via rape and other male (not female) sexual selection for 10,000 years — that’s 500 generations — to be concubines, broodmares and cannon fodder for patriarchal men.  And that, I think, must be the context in which an honest discussion of women’s health takes place: the context of a 10,000-year more or less global patriarchy and thus, 10,000 years of the literal genetic modification of females by males where women have been bred to serve men and male interests.  In short, mentally and physically weak enough to put up with men and maleness despite everything males do and everything males are.

Considering our documented history of female illness and physical and mental frailty compared to males, and there is a lot of that kind of evidence despite what anyone thinks about it, I think there is plenty of evidence (not proof) that women’s health has been in serious trouble for a long, long time (at least a couple hundred years) and what did feminists have to say about that?  They said women aren’t sick and told patriarchal men to stay in their goddamned lane when it came to diagnosing and treating “sick” women who really weren’t sick at all.  There was no room within this allegedly feminist discourse for the possibility that, while men should absolutely stay in their goddamned lane and stay the hell away from sick and indeed all women, women truly are unwell en masse, and we are unwell en masse because of what men have done to us socially, psychologically and genetically for 10,000 years.  Only an extremely mentally and physically ill woman would put up with male shit so men made us that way to suit themselves.  We needn’t imagine what the last 200 years of severe environmental pollution (including 70 years of male-made nuclear) has done to women’s collective already-failing health where women’s chronic health conditions have skyrocketed especially with regard to autoimmune disease.

This needn’t be a long post as most of my readers are probably well aware of the centuries of evidence (not proof) of women’s various physical and mental disease as documented by patriarchal men.  We all know about it, we just dismissed it as misogyny when men pointed it out and attempted to treat us and it was.  It absolutely was misogyny for men to point it out and to attempt to treat us, where their treatments included (for example) the dildo treatment, the ignore it and it will go away treatment, the work/fuck/shock/sweat/exercise it out of us treatment (aka. the reverse-the-cause-and-effect treatment), the poison us until we shut the fuck up or die treatment. And where men’s “pointing it out” consisted of ridiculing and blaming (and incarcerating) us for it.  A goodly portion of us weren’t even given a day off of work no matter how sick we were and that was misogyny too.

None of that is evidence, however, that women were actually physically and mentally well then or that we are physically and mentally well now.  In fact, there is plenty of evidence to the contrary where modern women are sick as hell with often multiple chronic illnesses, and acute illness and injury on top of that, and iatrogenic illness and injury (read: short and long-term side effects of medical treatment including medical mistakes) on top of even that.  And every day our environment becomes even more polluted and toxic than it was the day before.

This onslaught of autoimmune and other chronic, disabling disease is more than a women’s health crisis, this is an unmitigated disaster for women and for everyone who depends on women (that last bit was for those who don’t care about women but do care about themselves, namely, men whose cradle to grave female caretakers are falling like chronically ill dominoes).  Considering that this particular disaster has been 10,000 years in the making I seriously doubt there’s a lot that can be done about it now, not that anyone who matters probably even cares to try.   Of course, thinking about women’s health in the correct historical context of 10,000 years of patriarchy including genetic modification of females to be compliant victims for men will be required to get at the root of the problem, and the only people who have the motivation to do this correctly are not just the ones who have the least political or other power to do anything about it, we are also the ones who are getting the most sick and have the least amount of social and other support to deal with our illness: women.

Female thinkers are getting (and likely always have been) seriously mentally and physically ill, and between the cognitive and physical effects of both the disease and the treatments including mind-altering drugs, there is little chance that any of this is going to be properly thought about let alone conclusions drawn and solutions implemented.   The bullshit, lying, stumping for men and denial of women’s truth that passes for American feminism — the feminist psy-op — will continue to work as propaganda for as long as it’s needed, in this case, as plausible deniability for both women and men that women are really, truly ill, we have been for a long time, we are only going to get worse and we are unlikely to ever be well again.

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

...let’s do this...

“Dan Slott’s decade-long tenure on writing Spider-Man recently came to an end, swapping the prolific writer out with former Captain America/Secret Empire scribe Nick Spencer. The first issue of his and artist Ryan Ottley’s much hyped run, Amazing Spider-Man #1, took Peter Parker back to the basics. The hero has lost Parker Industries, is under investigation for academic fraud, was fired from the Daily Bugle, and other New York heroes hate him because they think he’s buddy-buddy with Kingpin of Crime turned New York mayor, Wilson Fisk.”

First of all Peter lost Parker Industries during Slott’s run so i dunno why this ‘article’ is framing things as though that is a development from Spencer’s run.

Second of all heroes hate Spidey because Kingpin made it look as though they were friends, its not as though Spider-Man really was friend with Fisk as this article frames it.

 “The issue ends with the two kissing and Peter declaring that this is “their story,” emphatically saying what the suspicions have been for some time: the new run of Amazing Spider-Man will begin to undue the events of the controversial “One More” and “Brand New Day” storylines that Slott became infamous for, which saw Mephisto destroy Peter and MJ’s marriage in exchange for bringing Aunt May back to life.”

 *pinches bridge of nose* ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

 Okay so...Dan Slott WASN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR OMD OR BND!

M**********r Wikipedia could have told you that! HOW?! HOW do you not know that Joe Quesada wrote OMD!

HOW do you not know this piece of comic book osmosis that everyone knows! My God!

Furthermore aunt May didn’t effing die in OMD. That was literally the point. They mad ethe deal to SAVE her from death. Not undo it!

I know people who’ve not even read the story and THEY know that!

Also Dan Slott became infamous but it had nada to do with OMD but other stuff.

Also also the story hasn’t shown or promised to undo anything yet but clickbait gotta clickbait.

Also, also, also UNDO ISN’T SPELT THAT WAY!

Holy fuck how do you write for the front page of the biggest comic book news site, get paid for it and not spell check shit?!

“And like those now infamous wedding issues for Batman and X-Men, the move to bring Peter and MJ back together doesn’t really work. There are couples who’ve gotten back together after a time apart, but the issue itself piles so much misfortune on Peter’s doorstep it feels like Peter should be looking into a therapist or anxiety medicine instead of making out with his ex.”

-Is what someone who’s never read Spider-Man would say.

Like Peter went though a lot of bad stuff in ASM volume 5 #1 but:

a)    Asshole please, this is nowhere near the worst most stressful or therepy worthy shit Peter has lived through. Supporting his sickly recently widowed mother figure financially whilst going to school, getting bullied, having a crappy boss, dealing with an unreasonable girlfriend and ALSO fighting crime in a city that feared and hated him for no reason. THAT is anxiety and that is also known as the start of Spider-Man’s entire story you fucking hacks!

b)    So when you’ve had an awful day and everything has fallen apart getting TLC from someone you deeply love and who deeply loves you...doesn’t  make sense. Okay sure.

c)    Justin Carter where the fuck did you learn how to read subtext? Shit, nevermind the subtext, where did you learn to read the text bro! The story spells it out for you. Peter’s life is bad, he keeps making the same mistakes again, he wants things to change to be better. So he steps up to the plate and puts the effort in to MAKE it better, specifically by chasing the thing he wants most, the thing he’s yearned for and literally dreamed about (as CLEARLY SHOWN on the first effing pages!). He reunited with the love of his life. For the fuck is that something that DOESN’T work!

d)    Exempting the X-Men wedding the Batman wedding issue in my observation totally worked from a characterization pov even if it wasn’t the result fans wanted to deserved.

“Peter and MJ Are A coulee Again! And It's The Wrong Move...”

 It isn’t the wrong move and I see no reason why anyone should take this article’s claims that is is seriously when it can’t even spell the word couple!

 “Like all relationships, the ones between superheroes and their non-powered partners are full of drama. In the decade since their split, Peter and MJ had many relationships that provided what neither could offer the other at the time. MJ got to date men who were reliable and had the stability that Peter couldn’t entirely provide, and Peter was with those who were more accustomed to or in the line of superheroic work as he.”

 Go fuck yourself CBR seriously.

 Let’s start with Peter. What in the flying fuck is this shallow, Celebrity gossip rag, juvenile, simplistic, unlearned horseshit of a mentality towards superhero relationships over the last several years that has the absolute biggest hard on ever for the idea that heroes have to date heroes.

 Especially Spider-Man.

 Whenever the mere idea of Spider-Man dating another hero crops up that is literally the ONLY thing people talk about.

 They have so much in common because they are both heroes.

 Well shit...why doesn’t he date literally any of the women in the multiple Avengers teams he was a member of. No Carol Danvers doesn’t count, it was one date.

 I’ll tell you why.

 Because if any of these jackasses knew what the fuck they were talking about with Spider-Man’s character, both in terms of who he is as a person and the entire concept behind him, they’d know that civilian women are both his preference and more in line with the idea of him as a hero who could be you.

 YOU in the real world do not date goddam superheroes. You date normal people. Therefore Spider-Man also dates normal people.

 ‘But what about Black Cat’, I hear you cry out.

 Yeah Felicia let’s talk about her for a second shall we.

 Felicia, the cat burglar costumed criminal. The one who tried to trick her boyfriend into a life of crime literally the issue after they hooked up.

 Felicia, the woman who recoiled upon seeing Spider-Man’s real face.

 Felicia the woman who lied and went behind Spider-Man’s back to get super powers that literally caused him cosmic bad luck even after they broke up.

 Felicia, the woman who jeapodized Peter’s secret identity multiple times.

 Felicia, the woman who literally got in bed with a mercenary (in every sense of the word) in order to frame Spider-Man for murder by seducing him.

 Felicia the one and only girlfriend Peter had before he got married who was a fellow costumed person...and she was literally named after something that brings you bad luck.

 It’s ALMOST like it was doomed to fail from the start.

 It’s ALMOST like it was intended that way.

 It’s ALMOST like it was a great big subtextual commentary about how Spider-Man is better off with normal non-costumed women.

 Oh...but if only there was some kind of page or panel clearly spelling out the idea that Felicia the costumed person was wrong for Spider-Man but someone else, someone normal, someone rooted in the real world with all it’s relatable problems and activities, was right for him...

...if only...

And if only the comic book run most guilty of shipping Spider-Man with a costumed person post-OMD which was initiated by a hack writer had itself a page or panel spelling out that Spider-Man dating costumed people because they ‘get’ his lifestyle more doesn’t mean jack shit, showcasing even they recognize it to be a stupid shortsighted attitude to Spider shipping.

IF.ONLY! 

Let’s move onto Mary Jane.

 MJ dated exactly 2 men during the decade after OMD. Bobbi Carr and Pedro the fireman who was literally a poc fireman version of Peter.

 Reliable and stable huh?

 Tell me how exactly is the life of a rising A-list movie star ‘reliable’ or ‘stable’...even aside from the fact that he was a drug addict?

 Tell me how exactly is the life of a firefighter whom would be rushing off whilst on duty and risking his life A LOT be stable for poor Mary Jane’s anxieties over his safety?

 What? Reliable is steady job+regular hours?

 That’s what Peter couldn’t provide so this reconciliation is bad?

 ...Didn’t Mary jane literally WORK for goddam Tony Stark, the globe/galaxy trotting superhero Avenger leader who went into a coma then disappeared?????????

 And she took that job by effing choice? AFTER breaking up with Pedro the fireman?

 How much ‘reliable stability’ does she really want or need?

 Because assholes MJ dated and was married to Spider-Man for fucking years. And she liked it. Are we just IGNORING that?

 Like assholes that wasn’t even the thing that they broke up over. MJ didn’t break up with Spider-Man in OMIT because he was unreliable and didn’t provide stability. She accepted that. She accepted that shit even in the nuclear levels OOC flashback sequences to their aborted wedding.

 She broke up with him because it endangered her family. THAT was the rationale. THEN she got back with him in Superior. THEN she broke up with him at the end because she wanted normalcy but then she literally said pages later that she’ll never get it because she lived in NYC and because guys like the Goblin wouldn’t care if she was dating Peter or not. THEN she threw away normalcy by working for Iron Man FFS. THEN in Red Goblin she claimed she couldn’t be with him because I don’t even know, some bullshit about feeling guilty that she was keeping him away from being a hero.

 So the stable reliability argument holds no goddam water to her pre or post OMD characterizations.

 Basically the above paragraph boils down to:

 “Peter and MJ getting back together is bad because they dated people who could offer them the stuff that neither could offer the other, even though there is nothing indicating either wanted that stuff in the first place.”

 “Not all of these relationships were perfect, but they were signs of real change, something that isn’t typically allowed in big two superhero comics, or at least, not in any lasting, meaningful way.”

 No they weren’t. They were signs of Marvel putting the characters on rotation because they axed the ACTUAL meaningful change that was the pair getting married and committing to a longterm permanent relationship that lasted 20 years.

 Hence why literally none of these relationships had ANY lasting impact upon either character.

 MJ was unchanged by Bobbi Carr dating her beyond it prompting her to return to NYC, i.e. return to her old status quo.

 Peter was unchanged by Carlie Cooper, Liaeean Teaaen, Mockingbird and Silk. I mean my God this article bangs on about how Mockingbird was so important because she provided something Peter otherwise couldn’t get from MJ but the seires literally handwaves away their relationship. They don’t even get a major break up scene or issue. It’s just. “We broke up, brief flashback. That was it.”

 “The last couple of times that Peter and MJ broke off their romantic relationship — after that one time Doc Ock jacked Peter’s body for over a year — it was because she didn’t want his, frankly, ridiculous life as a superhero to define hers.”

 The article says the last couple of times they broke it off then lists one example because what is counting.

 And as I said that was NOT the reason they broke up after superior. Hell they didn’t even really break up that time. Otto broke up with MJ in Superior ‘2, then she called him up to break up with him many issues later then she went to Peter when he got his body back to give a break up speech to someone she wasn’t even dating!

 “More, she didn’t want to keep risking the danger the comes from being close to a superhero.”

 And then she went to work for an even more famous superhero who didn’t even have a secret identity and who have much more powerful enemies many of whom would’ve targeted him even if they didn’t know he was Iron Man..before re-entering his friendship group in from Power Play onwards thus rendering her entire rationale for breaking away moot....not that it made any sense to begin with.

 “If anything, his life has become even more crazy since their split, since his teacher is the Lizard and he’s a roommate with Boomerang.”

 The Lizard was his teacher in the silver and bronze age too you goddam hacks and having a villain for a roommate is NOT crazier than your body being stolen by a villain for God’s sake.

 “Both of those situations are going to end pretty badly, and that’s coming just before the “Spidergeddon” event that’ll bring together the Spider-heroes of the multiverse yet again in a fight for survival against evil vampires.”

 I didn’t know CBR could see the future and also apparently knows that despite all current evidence to the contrary that Spencer would be doing a tie-into Spider-Geddon.

 “Fans of Peter and Mary Jane as a couple aren’t exactly hard up for a comic about their exploits. The Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows series may be set in a new universe, but it’s been quietly operating as a book for the two to be happy together. Not only do they have a daughter in that universe by way of Annie Parker, the three of them are a crimefighting family where Annie is Spiderling, and MJ gained powers of her own and became Spinneret. ”

STFU CBR.

a)    EVERYONE knew RYV had a limited shelf life

b)    RYV is about Peter and MJ are a superhero family, which is a cool concept but also not what a lot, probably even most Spider-Marriage fans want to see. They want to see Spider-Man with a non-powered MJ in the main 616 universe because that is the original real versions of the characters and that dynamic is innate to the inherent concept of Spider-Man as a relatively realistic guy

c)    RYV places a lot of focus upon Annie, probably more than on Peter or MJ, especially after the time skip

d)    NOBODY who loved RYV was going to simply accept it as a suitable substitute for 616 Spider-Man and MJ not being together. Because as much as we love RYV Peter and MJ those are not THE characters. The specifics of each version of each character carry different emotional investments for the readers. And Marvel knows this hence why they didn’t permanently replace the 616 Spider-Man with Miles Morales, just the other Peter Parker Spider-Man who sold less and had been around for a mere 10 years. It is also the reason why Spider Marriage fans didn’t just say “Oh well at least I still have Peter and MJ in USM and Spider-Girl’ after OMD

 “Even if Renew ends and is considered no longer needed, it’s provided the most logical endgame with the best outcome one could think of. Doing that all over again in the 616 universe comes across as redundant and the only thing it really does is reduce the amount of Spider books on the market.”

 This one is a real headscratcher.

 RYV is not the logical endgame because MJ with powers is not the logical conclusion. Merely ONE conclusion.

 FFS RYV isn’t even the same as Spider-Girl despite the premises being similar.

 You can take the same broad ideas and do them suitably differently.

 Like I dunno exploring the inner dynamics and ups and downs of a couple who do not have a kid?

 Focussing mostly upon that as opposed to the kid and all three of them working out how to fight crime together.

 Not to mention from this point to even get to RYV (even pre-time skip RYV) would take effing years. Peter and MJ just got back together but it’s a write off because we’ve already seen Peter and MJ with an 8 year old kid so fuck following the trajectory that might get us there?

 What kind of nonsense is that?

 CBR nonsense, that’s what.

 Just like the ‘it will reduce the amount of books on the market’.

 Well fuck dude we used to have FOUR Spider-Man books every goddam month about literally the same version of Spider-Man. then 10 years later we had 1 book about Marvel Adventures Spidey, 1 about a high school Spidey, 1 about Mary Jane, then 3 about an adult married Spider-Man.

 I THINK we can be okay with a Spider-Man who’s dating or married to a normal woman and another one where he is married to a super powered version of that woman and they are raising their teenage super powered daughter FFS.

 And even if we do unfortunately lose Renew Your Vows the argument of ‘we’d be losing a Spider book’ doesn’t even hold up THAT much because...WE ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY SPIDER BOOKS!

 Amazing Spider-Man TWICE a month.

Spectacular Spider-Man

Miles Morales

Spider-Gwen

Venom

Scarlet Spider

And soon to come

Spider-Geddon

Spider Force

Spider-Girls

Yet more bullshit I’m sure.

Like I don’t want to lose RYV but dear God we’ve already got TOO MANY Spider books as is.

 “And it may have been better for them both to just stay friends, or at least not jump into getting together again so amazingly fast.”

10 years isn’t amazingly fast bro.

 So to sum up this article is hot trash that utterly failed to justify it’s own stupid title.

 Or maybe it just chronically misspelled it’s own title. Who effing knows. But burn it with fire either way.

[evesbeve]

Lasagna: Paranormal Despacito

I did a livestream on YouTube, and wrote a one-shot with everyone watching. This is the result!

#LasagnaSquad

#AnxietyShipping

Summary: Lasagna Man has kidnapped Lloyd, and Jay has to save him. An adventure about falling in love, meeting new friends, and T-posing while singing Despacito.

Ninjago, 24th June 2018, 14:37

It was a nice noon in Ninjago. Cole was experimenting with food, when he felt something weird in his body. It was as if he was being possessed.

And he was.

Casper the ghost was very bored and took over his body to have fun. He took some tea from Wu's tea shelf and threw it in the lasagna. Then, he passed out.

It was Lloyd's turn to try out Cole's cooking. The ninja took turns eating it, since it was so terrible. With sorrow in his eyes, Lloyd took a bite.

He felt dizzy.

He was about to call Kai for help, but before he could say anything, he disappeared with the bowl of lasagna in hand.

Jay, who was at the room next door, heard a mini explosion. He ran to the kitchen, and was shocked to see Cole passed out. He slapped him.

"Wake up, Cole!" Jay said, slapping him. "What happened?"

Cole opened his eyes and stared at Jay. "Jay, Casper possessed me. Before I passed out completely, I saw Lloyd disappear. He popped out of existence. You have to help him."

And then, Cole passed out once again.

Jay knew what he had to do. He summoned his dragon while doing cyclondo at the same time, because I miss it since the Hagemans got rid of it. He went to his dad's lab and found his updated Borg Watch.

He looked into the screen of the tool and spotted some lasagna paranormal activity in a random dimension. He quickly pressed on the screen and teleported…

But he clicked on the wrong option, sending him somewhere else.

Queens, 24th June 2018, 15:49

Peter was at the verge of crying as he walked out of Stark Industries. He couldn't believe Tony didn't let him take part in their next mission. He was an Avenger! It was just unfair.

Peter looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star… but it was daytime! He soon realised it was nothing else but a screaming teenager falling from the sky.

Peter quickly shot some spider-webs and caught the young man, saving him from sure death.

"It's okay, buddy, I've got you now. You're safe!" Peter said, landing somewhere safe.

"I HAVE FINGERS!" Jay screamed, looking at his hands.

Peter was confused by the brunet's reaction. He looked at him, making eye contact.

He was beautiful.

He had never seen someone so beautiful. His freckles were adding to his adorableness. His bright blue eyes were staring back at him with the same curiosity.

"H-Hi…" Jay said, breaking the silence first. "Thanks for saving me."

"It's my job, don't worry about it." Peter said, placing him on the ground. It had only been a few seconds and he already missed his warmth. "I'm Peter."

"I'm gay." Jay said, and quickly regretted his choice of words. "I MEANT JAY!"

"Oh, you aren't?" Peter mumbled, disappointment filling his eyes. "Anyway, I was just-"

"Oh no! I forgot about Lloyd!" Jay interrupted.

"Who is Lloyd?" Peter asked.

"One of my best friends. He is like family. I have to save him!"

"I'll help!" Peter said. "It's not like I have anything left to do here."

"Okay, then let's go!" Jay said, grabbing Peter's arm and tapping on his watch's screen.

It was the best three seconds of Peter's life.

Detroit, 24th June 2039, 16:32

"Connor, stop licking the evidence for once in your life!" Hank complained, as Connor put the weird substunce on the floor into his mouth.

"It's… Strange." Connor said, after analyzing it. "It's thirium but it has lasagna in it."

"Pfff!" Hank huffed. "What kind of sick person would do that? More food for Sumo, I guess."

Suddenly, they heard two voices coming from the opening of the cave. They saw the shadow of two silhouettes holding hands.

"Stay back, Connor." Hank ordered, and Connor obeyed.

They soon came face to face with two teenage boys, who looked very lost, confused, but also… in love.

"Hi." Connor stepped in front of Hank, seeing how they were harmless. "My name is Connor. I'm the android sent by CyberLife. And you are?"

"I'm Peter Parker, also known as Spider-man in my dimension." Peter said, smiling.

"My name is Jay." Jay said. "Jay Walker."

Suddenly, Hank bursted into laughter. "HIS NAME IS JAY WALKER."

Peter glared at him and held Jay's hand tighter. "Don't you dare insult him, whatever-your-name-is!"

"I'm Hank Anderson." Hank said, holding back a laugh. "We're investigating a homicide."

"A homicide?" Jay gasped. "LLOYD IS DEAD?"

"We have yet to discover a body." Connor explained. "But there are traces of lasagna leading deep in this cave."

"I guess we should just team up, since we are looking for the same thing." Peter suggested, and no one went against it.

The group walked deeper into the cave, and suddenly, they heard a noise.

"TAKE COVER!" Jay screamed and fell on top of Peter to protect him.

A cheeseball flew past them.

Peter wanted to thank him, but he had no time, as another attack occured.

"What the fuck is happening?" Hank asked, clearly annoyed and shocked.

"YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, DISRESPECT MY CHEESE."

The group looked ahead, seeing a yellow android standing in front of a cage.

On further notice, Jay realised that Lloyd was there!

"That's him! That's my friend!" Jay pointed at him. "Lloyd, are you okay?"

And then, something unbelievable happened.

"I'm okay, but fRESH AVOCADOO!"

"Is he always like that?" Peter asked.

"No…" Jay mumbled. "Something is wrong."

"I scanned him." Connor said. "He seems to be influenced by the lasagna. He can only meme, sing and rap."

"That's amazing." Hank snorted.

"Press F to pay respects." Lloyd said, tears rolling down his cheeks. He needed this to stop.

"I am sorry." Connor said. "The PS4 controller does not have an F. You can choose between the square, the triangle, the circle, and X."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Connor, let's just kill this guy." Hank said, pointing his gun at the Lasagna Deviant.

A cheeseball fell on Jay's Borg Watch, and an explosion happened. In a matter of seconds, they all disappeared.

Minecraft, 24th June 2018, 17:38

Jay groaned, opening his eyes. He felt something soft. He looked around him, only to see that he was sitting on top of Peter.

His heart was beating fast and he just couldn't stop thinking about getting closer to the other teen.

"Oh no…" Hank mumbled. "It can't be…"

The lieutenant looked around him, in shock. As a millennial, he knew exactly where he was.

Minecraft.

"My powers are only becoming stronger here!" Lasagna Man said, standing up. "Prepare to die!"

"Not so fast!" Lloyd said. "I have the power of God and anime by my side!"

"That's right, deviant!" Connor stood next to Lloyd. "Even though I am a deviant myself-"

"You're going down!" Peter said, helping Jay up.

"Noteblocks, go!" Jay said, and music started playing.

Lloyd T-posed, determined to stop Lasagna Man.

"My name is Lloyd,

you're a stupid android.

My rhymes are sick

and you'll die quick."

Lasagna Man T-posed too, hatred in his eyes.

"I'm a lasagna,

and I'm a brotha.

Do you know da way?

I am going to slay!"

Connor stepped in, T-posing hardcore.

"My software is stronger

You're like internet explorer!

Give up,

or get-"

Hank interrupted Connor, smirking and T-posing.

"-FUCKED!"

Jay and Peter got up as one, T-posing, feeling stronger than ever.

"We met two hours ago,

our love is real, here we go.

Our gayness sends you to hell

while we're going to taco bell."

Lloyd broke the T-post first, dabbing. Then everyone followed.

"DE

SPA

CITO!"

And everyone joined in, singing the lyrics, which they absolutely knew to heart.

"Now is your chance, Lloyd!" Jay yelled. "The final blow! Only you can stop this!"

Lloyd cleared his throat, and built a guitar. "I DON'T WANNA DO THE DISHES, NO MORE, I DON'T WANNA DO THE DISHES, NO MORE!"

Lasagna Man fell on his knees. "No… You're too strong…"

"You'll never win, Lasagna Man!" Jay said. "It's over!"

"NOOOOOO!" Lasagna Man screamed and exploded.

It was raining cheese.

"Oh nice, food for Sumo!" Hank said, putting it all in the fridge he just built. Because Minecraft.

"Jay, I don't feel so good…" Peter mumbled, sensing the end was near.

"Oh no!" Jay said, looking at his watch. "We hit the nuclear note! We have to get out of here before we die with this universe!"

Peter used his spider-webs to tie everyone together, and Jay teleported them all back to Detroit, where they said goodbye to Hank and Connor.

Then, they went back to Queens.

"I'll give you guys a moment." Lloyd said, turning away.

"Jay…" Peter said, holding both of the teenager's hands in his. "You showed me that I don't need to be depended on someone else. I can save the world on my own. But today, you saved my world."

Jay felt tears forming in his eyes. "You saved my world too, Peter. I will never forget this or you. You're the most perfect person I've ever met."

The two teenagers leaned in, closing their eyes. Before they knew it, their lips were touching, and they were kissing.

Jay was the first one to pull away, making eye contact again. He couldn't believe he wouldn't see these beautiful eyes again. "I love you, Peter."

Peter nodded, tears running down his own cheeks. "I love you too, Jay. We will meet again."

"Yes. For now, this is goodbye, my love."

The two teenagers handshaked, and then Jay disappeared with Lloyd.

Ninjago, 24th June 2018, 18:27

"We're back, my homies! Alexa, play despacito." Lloyd said, sitting on the couch.

"Cool bro." Kai said.

"We met an android." Jay added.

"Other than me?" Zane asked.

"And Jay has a boyfriend now." Lloyd said, teasing the blue ninja. "Dab on the haters, my homies."

"JAY HAS A BOYFRIEND!?" Cole screamed, finally waking up.

It was going to be a long evening.

THE END.