#and also this should heavily let you in on my taste in movies :(

[violent138]

What do you think the Bats comfort movies are? Just got curious as I’m rewatching Mamma Mia

Hi and thanks for the ask! Mammia Mia sounds sweet (haven't seen it). I hope you don't hate my choices (heavily projecting off the films I've seen), but yell at my ask box if anyone's been done egregiously dirty:

Bruce: The Mask of Zorro or Grey Ghost

Dick: Whiplash (but he's not really a movie person)

Jay: The Mummy (or the Godfather, but he's really more of a show person)

Tim: Poltergeist (banned with Steph from picking things for movie night)

Steph: Black Swan or The Ring (she and Tim are movie weirdos)

Cass: Hamlet (Branagh's version) or Pan's Labyrinth

Duke: Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction

Dami: LOTR films

[sansaorgana]

— SECOND CHANCE

PAIRING — Erik Lehnsherr x fem!Mutant!Reader

SUMMARY — Long time ago, you made your choice not to follow Erik. It was a decision that you have been regretting ever since. Ten years later you finally see him again.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Finally, as I promised, another fic with Erik!!! And not the last one either! 😁 I have rewatched all X–Men movies recently and I have some ideas... 😊 Reader’s mutation is NOT specified.

WORD COUNT — 3,040

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

SECOND CHANCE

Tight, black and yellow suit was hot to touch from the heat of the sun. You still remembered that feeling; the hot material underneath your fingers when you were trying to adjust the torn piece on your shoulder to cover your wounded skin from the upcoming blows and punches. You also remembered the fear, the pounding heart in your chest and the metallic taste of blood on your tongue from accidentally biting it after landing flat-faced on the ground when the plane crashed. 

And you remembered Erik’s steel blue eyes. He was surprised to see you even hesitate after his invitation to stand by his side. He felt like there was no need for words. Your loyalty was something he wouldn’t dare to overthink. But you didn’t move, you kept standing, petrified. And he kept staring at you and your lungs were starting to fail you. It was so heavy to breathe.

Even Raven left Charles’ side – his somewhat sister – and you kept standing in the same spot with a dry mouth because you had forgotten to swallow.

“(Y/N),” Erik’s voice was stern but you knew him well enough to know that it was a desperate plea more than a request. You had spent so much time together, he took you for granted.

“I’m sorry, Erik, I can’t…” you heard the words leaving your mouth but it felt like someone else had said them. It felt like watching a movie, it was certainly not real.

“(Y/N),” he repeated your name and his jaw clenched but you knew it was not driven by his anger. His world was tumbling down, everything he had known was turning into dust. You were everything he had known and the only person he had. And now you were betraying him… Abandoning him. Just like his mother did because she was just a weak human and couldn’t protect herself from the bullet. Meanwhile, you were a weak mutant – weak, because instead of admiring him, you feared him at that moment. He wasn’t a telepath but he could sense your apprehension.

“I love you…” you heard yourself saying and felt a tear rolling down your cheek. You had never told him that. That state of your feelings was obvious but you had never made that confession. “...but I can’t join you.”

Something told you already that you would regret your decision. You watched them all disappear but you let yourself burst out in tears only after being left alone with Moira, Charles and Hank. You didn’t want Erik to know how much this decision had cost you because then you’d expose yourself to his manipulations and sweet promises and you knew you’d give in.

But you didn’t want to give in and for the first time in your life, you made an important decision all by yourself. It was a tough decision, it was painful and difficult but it was morally good. You should have been proud of yourself but instead you were cursing yourself in your mind.

“Th-thank you,” Charles coughed out and you cracked a smile through your own tears.

You didn’t choose him. It wasn’t about him at all and you could feel deep in your bones that you would grow to hate him for your own decision just because it meant being separated from Erik.

You woke up abruptly and sat up in your bed while breathing heavily. You couldn’t see anything; it was the middle of the night. You glanced at the clock on your nightstand. Three am. You turned a small lamp on and wiped the sweat off of your forehead before sighing deeply and falling back down on your pillow.

It was raining outside, the sound was making you feel comfortable and somehow safe. Cold rain was a reminder that the hot, sunny day on the beach was far away. The dream was only a memory of something that had happened a long time ago.

“Stop haunting me, you bastard,” you murmured and turned your head around to look at the photograph on your night stand, right between the clock and a small lamp.

It was the only picture of you and Erik ever taken. You were wearing a new red polka dot dress that he had stolen for you in a store in Paris and the picture was taken by the Eiffel Tower. You had been living like Bonnie and Clyde back in the day, or like two superagents; always on a hunt. Chasing traces and clues, never spending more than a few nights in the same place. Back in the day, you had thought that once you’d capture your main target, you’d settle down with Erik.

“But you’re not dead,” you whispered and reached your hand out to caress the picture’s frame. “You’re not a ghost, so you can’t haunt me.”

It was your own heart haunting you with the memory of the day you two had parted. It was caused by regret.

You sighed and rolled over in the huge bed, feeling so small in the middle of it. Ten years earlier, the two of you had been sleeping in it together for a few weeks. It had been the longest time you had ever spent in one place. You had hoped it would become your home.

Your biggest regret was not even the fact that you and Erik were parted. Your biggest regret was that he was in jail now, deep under the ground. And you thought that it wouldn’t had happened… if only you were with him.

On the other hand, every single person that had joined him was dead – except for Raven. That was the argument Charles would often bring up whenever you whined about your current life.

And, God, you hated your life and you hated Charles Xavier. Well, not really. At this point you were like a dysfunctional family – but still a family – so you couldn’t say that you hated him. But he was an asshole, addicted to alcohol and that medicine that Hank had prepared for him. The mansion was dark and dirty, full of spiderwebs and dust. You only took care of your bedroom and the en suite bathroom. It wasn’t your job to be a maid of Charles and Hank.

At first your life hadn’t been so bad. You had been a teacher, you had your students and your schedule had been distracting you from thinking of Erik all the time. But now your life was full of long and boring days without any purpose and meaning. You were wasting your life away and you couldn’t even be with a man whom you loved. You spent most of your time reading books, taking walks around the neglected garden and taking long naps.

You turned the lamp off and formed a big roll out of your duvet to put your arms around it like it was a person. It would help you to fall asleep on nights like this.

“Are you thinking of me, too?” you asked quietly before drifting away to the land of dreams once again.

The arrival of that man known as Logan was the first exciting thing that had happened to you in years. And when he mentioned something about helping Erik to escape the Pentagon, you felt the mixture of anxiety and excitement.

The possibility of seeing Erik again was worth risking everything. Even if he wouldn’t want to look at you twice after all these years, after the abandonment and betrayal. You just wanted to see him again, look into his eyes, feel him being real and alive. You wanted the constant yearning and guilt to go away. You felt like you owed him the escape.

Of course Charles didn’t want to do it but it was about Raven more than about Erik, so he gave in. But he knew very well that you couldn’t wait to see your lover again so he kept giving you weird looks. And he wasn’t the only one.

“What is it?” you asked after spotting Logan in your mirror.

You were in your bedroom, preparing yourself to go with them all to find some mutant boy who was extremely fast.

“I’m sorry,” he emerged from the darkness and cleared his throat after properly entering your room instead of lurking inside through the ajar door.

“Don’t be sorry,” you shrugged your arms and fixed your hair. “I’m just wondering why are you scared of me. Or intimidated by me, I don’t know how to interpret your odd looks and why you’re avoiding me,” you explained and turned around to face him.

“Rule number one of a time traveller,” he cracked a smile, “is that you can’t reveal anything about the future.”

“Oh, so it has something to do with my future,” you cocked an eyebrow. “Now you have to tell me,” you insisted. “Are we, like, enemies?”

“It’s the first time I’m meeting you in real life,” he admitted and you furrowed your brows. “You’re more of a legend, I’d say. A myth perhaps.”

Your heart skipped a beat at that revelation. So, in the future you were apparently long gone. You only hoped that you wouldn’t die before making things right between you and Erik again.

“How will I die?”

“Perhaps not at all if we prevent Raven killing Trask,” he explained and you sighed with relief.

One thing you had in common with Charles was your hope – sometimes too naive and too innocent for your own good. But after finding out that this part of your future remains unwritten, for you it was like it wouldn’t happen at all. You had hope that you would manage to stop Raven. You were almost certain of it.

But still, there was some universe, some version of the timeline, where you had died.

“But when I died…” you started.

“I really don’t want to give you any details,” he shook his head.

“Just one thing, please,” you pleaded. “Was I with him again before that?”

Logan laughed a little and you furrowed your brow.

“So… That’s why Magneto is so dangerous,” he explained. “If I lost a woman who loved me so much, I would swear to destroy everything, too.”

You felt your cheeks heating up a little at that comment. It still wasn’t an answer to your question but it was enough – Erik loved you. Still.

“Let’s go,” you said and left the room to join Hank and Charles downstairs.

Charles decided it would be a bad idea for you to go to the Pentagon with the rest of them. You were supposed to wait for them on a plane – just in case they got into some sort of trouble, you’d be out of it so you could rescue them. That was Charles’ explanation. But in fact, he wasn’t sure of what you’d do after seeing Erik for the first time in ten years.

You were sitting in one of the seats, fixing your hair all the time, nervous of the way you looked. After all, ten years had passed and you weren’t as young as you had been on that beach when you had seen him for the last time. On your lap there was a bag with new clothes for Erik to wear so he wouldn’t have to walk around in a prisoner’s uniform. Your palms were sweaty and shaky as your heart pounded so loud that you couldn’t hear anything else.

There was a lump in your throat and a pit in your stomach as you chewed on your lower lip. And then you heard a whoosh sound and all of the guys showed up in front of you. At first, you didn’t react, too shocked to do anything.

When you realized that it was, in fact, Erik standing in front of you – real and alive – you stood up abruptly as the bag fell down off of your lap to the ground. He made wide eyes at you, Charles probably hadn’t told him that you’d be waiting.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Charles and sat down in one of the seats. Logan followed him while Hank sat behind the steer. Erik and you were still standing and staring at each other.

He hadn't changed much. His hair was shorter and there were a few more wrinkles on his face, but that would be it. You hoped he was thinking the same about you.

“I… I’ve got clothes for you… To ch-change,” you crouched down to pick up the bag before handing it to him.

It felt so surreal to see him again that you couldn’t even say “hello”.

“Thank you,” was all he said and your fingers brushed when he was taking the bag from you. Your whole body felt like it had been hit with an electric bolt.

Erik walked past you to go to the bathroom and you turned around to watch his back disappear behind the door.

“Wait,” you breathed out and followed him inside. Both Charles and Logan turned their heads to watch the scene. It had to be entertaining for them.

But they couldn’t see anything anyway because you closed the door after walking inside the bathroom after Erik. You couldn’t control your own body, it was all impulses and instincts leading your actions.

“What are you–” Erik started but you clashed your lips with his before he could finish the question.

He was surprised and taken aback at first but eventually he placed his big hands on both of your cheeks and pulled you even closer. You tangled your hands in his hair and opened your mouth wider to let him devour you with a kiss.

Long time ago you had been laying in bed together, in one of the cities that you had only been passing by. You remembered watching some war movie on TV in a hotel room and you remembered the long on-screen kiss. Your head had been on Erik’s chest and you had looked up to watch his face as you had been wondering what it was like to kiss someone after such a long time. Now you knew.

He broke the kiss when he felt your wet tears on his thumbs. You both caught your breaths and he wiped your cheeks gently. His own eyes were glistening, too.

“I thought you were with him now,” he said.

You took a step back – as much as the small bathroom allowed you to.

“You asshole,” you clenched your jaw and turned around to open the door and leave but he locked it without even lifting a finger. And when you tried to unlock it aggressively, he kept locking it back again until you gave up with a sigh and faced him again. “First thing you do after seeing me again is accusing me of cheating?” you asked, disappointed.

“Cheating? That would mean we were together all this time,” he raised an eyebrow. “As far as I remember, you chose him.”

“I know you were fucking Raven,” you pursed your lips to stop yourself from crying more, “and that other woman, too, probably. Emma, that was her name, right? Angel, too, I assume. I don’t care. I didn’t choose to go with you, you were free to do whatever you wanted. But it doesn’t mean that I didn’t choose to go with you because of him. I chose that for myself. And I have hated myself for it every day since then. I wanted to be a good person and do the right thing but turns out I am not. I am not a good person. Because all I want is to be with you again,” you confessed and blinked a few times to dry your fresh tears.

“You weren’t looking for me. I was waiting for you to change your mind and join me,” Erik clenched his jaw like he was waiting for some complicated explanation. But the answer was easy.

“I was afraid of you. I was afraid of the man I had seen on that beach, Erik. All these years we spent together, you had never told me what had been truly hiding in your head. I always thought it was about hunting Schmidt. I never knew you shared his ideas,” you swallowed thickly and sniffled.

“I didn’t want you to ever be afraid of me,” Erik’s fingers raised your chin up as he looked deep into your eyes. “You know that protecting you is my priority, always. Even if it means destroying the world,” he confessed as your eyes widened. It reminded you of what Logan had said earlier.

“I know,” you cracked a smile and he caressed your cheek. You leaned in to kiss the palm of his hand and held onto his wrist for a moment while looking into his eyes. “Will you do everything right this time? For me? I don’t want you to destroy the world. I just want you to fix everything so we can get the second chance,” you explained. “In our old room in Charles’ house there is still a drawer full of your clothes and I still wash them sometimes, pretending that you are using them, pretending that you’re going to come back soon. I make up the bed on your side and I keep a razor in the bathroom in case you wanted to shave,” you kept talking and talking and you knew that you were blabbering at this point but after all these years, you had to let it all out, along with the tears rolling down your cheeks uncontrollably now.

Erik furrowed his brow as his eyes full of pain were watching your face. Eventually, he shushed you and pressed your head to his chest to give you a comforting hug. The one you had been craving for so long.

“I will fix everything,” he made a promise and rubbed your back before giving kisses to your temple and the top of your head. “But I don’t think I want to go back to that house. I don’t think I can share Charles’ ideas and optimism.”

“It’s alright,” you shook your head. Now it was time for you to make a promise, too. “This time I will follow you wherever you go.”

MASTERLIST

[lionizingheathen]

OK NOW I CANT STOP THINKING OF REMUS ACTUALLY LETTING SIRIUS (plus james maybe) HAVE A GO WHILE WATCHING HHHNGGGF??!??

I can do that (Warning that I've never written anything like this so I deeply apologize if it's not what you're looking for)

Remus Lupin x Sirius Black x James Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut, multiple orgasms, watching, choking, slapping, throatfucking, degredation, spanking, unprotected sex, oral sex male receiving, hair pulling, multiple partners

Remus had you stripped naked before they even arrived, laying you across the bed. That'd been hot enough, but seeing the way that Sirius and James looked at you, like they wanted to swallow you whole... God, it was so much.

"Are you 100% sure about this mate?" James asked, and Remus nodded, placing a soft hand on your cheek to make you look over at him with a crooked eyebrow. God, you wanted to rile him up, see exactly what he would do when put in the right circumstances.

"Yeah, it's not a problem. She likes to put on a show, isn't that right?" He asked softly, and you nodded, chewing on your lip. You'd do anything that he asked you to do.

"Yes..." You responded, and James bent a little bit, clearing his throat. You didn't care, you were too busy daydreaming about what was going to happen.

"Hey. Y/N." James said, and you lifted your head, looking up at him. He placed a hand under your chin, rubbing a thumb across your cheek, making you shiver.

"Yeah?"

"Are you 100% sure that you wanna do this?" James asked, looking you in the eyes. You smiled, reaching over to squeeze his hand. He'd always been so gentle, it would be fun to watch him lose control.

"Yeah, because if you don't, James and I would be happy to just stay and like... watch one of your muggle movie things." Sirius offered, and your smile only grew as you shook your head. God, Remus had picked such good friends.

"No, I want this too... but it was sweet of you to ask me." You said, and he nodded.

"Wouldn't wanna do this if you weren't 100% okay with it." That was such a kind thing to make sure of... granted, it was also customary, or at least you felt it should be, to ask beforehand.

"Oh, I am."

"You're up, Potter." Remus said, pushing him forward. James took a deep breath and nodded, giving you a smile.

"Okay..." You got up on your knees, placing a hand on his face, feeling his hands come up to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing across your nipples.

"What do you want, Jamie?" You asked, and he swallowed heavily before answering.

"Can you suck me off? I've been thinking about how good that would feel for years." He said, and you flicked your eyebrow up, giving him a smirk as you pushed him away a bit before letting yourself fall to the ground onto your knees.

"You want my lips wrapped around your cock, Potter?" You asked, and he nodded frantically, unbuttoning and pulling his pants down, letting his cock spring out. You swallowed back a groan as you wrapped your hand around it. He was about as thick as Remus, but a little bit longer which was daunting... but a challenge you would gladly welcome.

"Yes." He groaned, and you grinned up at him, leaning in.

"Good boy." You flicked your tongue across his tip, groaning to yourself at the taste, feeling him tense. "He tastes so good." You moaned before taking him into your mouth, taking him as deep as you could, letting him gently lead your head until your nose was pressed against his pelvis. HIs head was leaning back and you watched as his chest rose and fell quickly.

"Holy shit... Ohmygod her mouth is so fucking hot..." He moaned, pulling his hips back to gently snap them forward again, making you gag around him. He moved a little faster, but not too hard, clearly afraid of hurting you... which was a shame because you wanted to see him go feral.

"Calm down, mate. Don't get too excited, you'll never last." Remus said with a chuckle, and James let out a high whine as he glanced down at you, his mouth dropped open. You clenched your thighs together, trying to reduce some of the throbbing there, but it did nothing.

"Shut up..." You bobbed your head up and down, letting your fingers slip between your thighs to rub at your clit, making you moan around him. "Fuck." He whined, and you felt your face get hot. God, he was so fucking hot.

"You can fuck her throat, James. She likes it rough." Remus cleared his throat, clearly trying to get your attention. "How do you feel about that, baby?" He asked, and you pulled off, breathing heavily as you looked up at James, jerking your hand quickly up and down his cock, making him tremble.

"Please, James. Fuck my throat raw." You begged, and he looked down at you, his gaze softening for a moment.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and you rolled your eyes. The cute, respectful side was getting a bit overplayed, you just wanted him to take some goddamn control.

"Stop asking that and just fucking do it. Go with your gut, Potter. I know how to stop a man if needed." You said, and he chewed on his lip, nodding as he pulled you back onto his cock. You swallowed around him eagerly, letting him fuck your throat as hard as he wanted to. He let out a loud grumbling moan as he gripped your hair.

"Fuck... God, Remus you get this every night?" Sirius asked, and you blushed as you felt James fuck harder into your throat. He was so eager... you knew he would be, you knew how doting he was on Lily, there was no way he wasn't like this.

"Every night... every morning... pretty much whenever I want she's willing to get on her knees for me... or do pretty much anything else." Remus murmured back and you felt your cunt clench at this. You liked when talked that way about you. Sirius groaned in approval and you felt his eyes on you once again.

"Lucky bastard." He murmured, and Remus let out a throaty chuckle, undoubtably with the biggest smirk on his face.

"Should've acted quicker in seventh year. Could've had her at least once." He responded, and you whimpered around James's cock, gripping onto his thighs as he paused, buried in your thoat, making your eyes tear up around him.

"Shut up."

"Oh my god, fuck I'm getting close." James cried, and Remus let out a snort.

"Seriously? Already? Fuck, you finish fast." He said, and James whimpered, shaking his head as he strained, the veins in his neck popping out for a moment as he increased his pace.

"Not normally." He let out a high whine, holding your face against his pelvis as he doubled over, gripping the wall behind him. "Oh fuck." He gasped, and you felt him cum down your throat, frantically swallowing around him before you pulled back, giving him a wide smile.

"You taste good, Jamie." You said, getting up from your knees. He pulled you against his chest, tucking your face against him as he held you. It was sweet that that was his first instinct, to hug you tight and murmur quiet praises into your ear, it made your heart squeeze. Truly the best man. Lily was lucky.

"That was amazing. Fucking amazing, Y/N." He sighed, pulling away to give you a wide smile. You placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb across his cheekbone.

"Thank you, sweet boy. You're up Sirius, what do you want?" You asked, watching as he smirked at you, walking over with so much confidence that it made your knees weak.

"Oh, I want your cunt. Bend over on the bed. On your hands and knees." Sirius said, and you dropped immediately, smirking back at him as you did. You followed orders well, the boys were bound to know that by well.

"Yes sir." You said, and he gripped your nips, snorting as he saw your position. What?

"Come on, spread those legs futher for me. I know you can." He said pushing your further open before you felt the head of his cock prod against you, slipping inside a moment later, making you gasp. There was no need for prep, you were dripping already.

"Holy shit..." Your mouth dropped open as you felt him inside you. He was by far the thickest, causing a pleasent burning stretch as he began easing himself inside of you. "Remus, he's so big." You whined, and he let out a chuckle as Sirius continued to stretch you, making you see stars. How was he still going?

"You can take it. You can take anything, baby." Remus said, and you groaned, nodding as you felt Sirius slide the rest of the way inside, making your eyes roll back.

"Yes sir." You sighed, and Remus smirked at you, making you shiver.

"Such a good girl." He replied, and you nodded, chewing on your lip as you furrowed your brows. God, this felt good... Sirius was good, you knew that from conversations in school.

"Fuck, her cunt is so good, Remus. How could you wait so long to let us do this?" Sirius asked as he gripped your hair, yanking hard as he thrusted quickly, pushing the breath out of you each time. Heaven on earth.

"I agree, we should've done this sooner. It's fun to watch her get all fucked out." Remus said, and you felt Sirius's hand slap down hard on your ass, making you yelp. God, this felt so good... so fucking good.

"More... Harder... Please." You begged, and Sirius laughed, reaching forward to push your face against the mattress, pounding into you harder. The new angle made you want to scream, your eyes rolling back in your head as you tangled your fingers into the sheets.

"Look at her, James. She's such a fucking whore." James was practically trembling, his fingers digging into his trousers as he watched you.

"Yeah... she is..." He grunted, and you looked over at him, seeing his cock straining against his pants. You wanted to feel him down your throat again.

"You're hard again, mate." Remus commented, and he shot him a glare.

"I know." You knew what to do, what to ask. He seemed like he could follow directions well.

"Touch yourself for me, Jamie." You begged, and he whimpered, nodding as he shucked his pants down his legs again, gripping at his already leaking cock.

"Shit... okay..." He whined, and you chuckled, a large smile spreading across your face as you felt Sirius's hand smack down on your ass once again.

"He takes orders so well." You gasped, and Remus nodded in the corner, looking pleasantly amused at the exchange, though Sirius beat him to voicing it.

"Guess we know who's in charge in your bed, huh?" Sirius chuckled, and James gave him a look that was supposed to be a glare, but ended up as a pout at best.

"Fuck, shut up!" He groaned, his hand working his cock faster. So pretty.

"Sirius, please, harder!" You begged, and Sirius grunted above you, pushing you harder into the mattress as he increased his pace once again, making your mouth drop open

"Of course, beautiful." He murmured, and you felt yourself begin to fall over the edge, knowing you would be screaming within moments. God, this was good.

"I'm... I'm cumming, oh my god I'm cumming!" You cried, and Sirius chuckled, biting down on the skin of the back of your neck, thrusting harder as you saw stars, gripping hard onto the sheets, feeling yourself tremble beneath him.

"Good girl, good girl, cum on my cock, making a fucking mess all over me, fuck yes." Sirius groaned, and you whimpered, unable to come up with a thought, any words you had in mind completely wiped free as he ignored your sensitivity.

"You look so good baby... looks like James is gonna cum again." Remus said, and you looked over at the other man who was jerking his cock frantically, the tip angry and read. You let out a groan as Sirius reached around, wrapping his hand around your throat, tightening his grip quickly.

"Cum on my face, Jamie." You croaked out and he looked at you, completely gone as he stood up, walking closer as he hung his head back, letting out a loud groan.

"Really? Are sure?" He asked, sounding frantic, and you nodded, looking up at him, your mouth hanging open as Sirius used his free hand to rub roughly at your clit.

"Yes! Cum!" You begged, and James looked down, his brows furrowed and his glasses falling down his nose as his hips jerked forward, his cum spurting out to coat your face, making you gasp. You grinned up at him, appreaciating how frantic he was. So cute.

"Holy shit..." He hissed, the last spurt coming out before he fell away, collapsing onto his chair, breathing heavily.

"God, you look good all covered in cum, beautiful." Remus sighed, giving you a large smile. You glanced down at his crotch, seeing his cock straining against his pants. It forced you over the edge once again, seeing how badly Remus wanted you. God, he was going to ruin you after this.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum again! Oh my god, oh my god!" You cried, your lip trembling as you collapsed flat against the bed, feeling Sirius grip your hips as you let out high moans with each hard thrust, your eyes rolling back in your head. You heard Remus let out a throaty chuckle from across the room, making your face flush.

"Still screaming after having your throat fucked raw... You really do love this, huh baby?" Remus asked, leaning forward. You nodded frantically, feeling a pleasant buzz over your body as Sirius thrusted frantically inside of you, getting closer to the edge himself.

"Yes! I love it, love being used." You cried, and Sirius groaned behind you, spanking your ass hard once again, making you gasp.

"Holy shit I'm getting close." He gripped under your chin, bending over you so you could see his face. He was straining, chewing on his lip as he looked down at you. So hot. "Where do you want me to finish?" He asked, and your brain went blank. Anywhere he wanted. You would take whatever the fuck he was willing to give you.

"I... I..." He rolled his eyes, shoving you back down onto the table as he thrust hard and fast into you again, addressing Remus as though you weren't even there.

"Remus, where do you want me to-." He didn't even get to finish his sentence before Remus was talking.

"Cum inside her, she fucking loves it." He said, and you nodded, feeling him still inside of you, gripping hard onto your hips as he filled you with his cum, making you tremble.

"Shit... Fuck! Take it, fucking take it." He groaned, pausing for a moment before he pulled out, both of you panting before you gave him a smile.

"God, Sirius... that was so good." You sighed, sitting up to walk over to Remus, resting your chin on top of his head, wrapping your arms around him. He placed his hands onto your arms, making your heart skip.

"Yeah it was... fuck, I gotta bring Lily next time." James looked at you almost nervously as he shifted around on his feet. "Would you want that?" He asked, and you nodded quickly. You'd wanted to be fucked by Lily for years.

"Fuck yes, that sounds amazing."

"I just know she'd love to cum on your face." James responded, and your heart pounded at the thought of that. Lily Potter had to taste like a goddamn dream.

"Sounds perfect." You said, and Remus stood up, stretching.

"Until next time, boys." He said, nodding at them to show themselves out before he turned to you with a large smile. "You were wonderful, dear." Remus said, and you pressed your hand to the front of his trousers, pressing frantic kisses to the side of his neck, making him let out a quiet grunt.

"You're hard." You murmured against his skin, and he sighed, pulling you back from his neck so he could look down into your face.

"I just watched you be fucked for an hour straight... Yeah. I am. Get on your knees." He instructed, and you let him guide you down before you unbuttoned his pants, pulling them quickly down his thighs

"Yes sir." You gripped his cock, leaning forward to lick the tip of his cock.

[orlamccools]

vent post under the cut- if youve got advice id love to hear it

so. ive been talking to this guy for a long ass while, you can scroll thru the last tag on this post to see what its all about, but long story short is this: i asked him out two saturdays agoto my friends going away party (which was held this past friday). hes met this friend once before, and we planned to meet at her place and then maybe go out to the bars after

entire week he is super into it, texts me more often than normal, creates a spotify blend for the two of us (w that feature that lets you combine your tastes into a single playlist) like im getting VIBES. and he asks abt our plans!!!! we make a solid schedule!!!

night of the party he texts me at 8:45 checking in to see if its all happening and i say yeah. i get home from work, change, then get to my friends house and text him that im here. he doesnt respond for an hour and finally says something abt how he has to charge his phone before coming out. im like ok man whatever i just want to hang so do what you gotta do. another half hour passes and then he hits me with the "hey idk if im gonna make it out". im disappointed by this, so i respond with like a "damn that kinda sucks :/" message. at this point i expect him to stop messaging me, but then he texts me quite literally for the rest of the night. like he literally doesnt stop until i text him that im walking home.

saturday i see him in person for a short period when he does the close out but another driver fucking also comes to sweep the store and just. will not stop talking to the dude in question. he like tries to get away twice but between customers and this other guy we dont talk like at all. after the other driver leaves and the store is closed he comes back in to use the bathroom and like stands by the door for a moment so i like look over but all he does is smile and wave then leave.

SATURDAY NIGHT. he texts me at like 8 responding to a text i had sent the previous night asking if im going out again tonight. i said yeah (bc a separate friend had a party) and he was like bet lemme know where youre at i might stop by and see you. i send him the address of the restaurant and proceed to hang w my friends until midnight. hes again texting me all night abt getting ready to head out but when we finally leave he hits me with the "finally leaving now where should i meet you". at this point i am exhausted, as ive just finished my first week of classes, had drunk heavily over the past 48 hours, and had worked a 13 hr workday that day. i text him and say im like too tired im going home and hes like damn :////

yesterday night. i do an eras movie night w my friends and i send a picture of the opening sequence to the ppl i have snapchat streaks with. he snaps me the rest of the night and is like "ohhhh you should have invited me" and stuff like that and its like. i didnt invite you for a multitude of reasons but like you ditched plans once this weekend and kept pushing back the other time i tried to invite you out, so why do you think i would ask you a third time???????

and now im just confused bc like. he seemed sooooooooo into it all week and then as soon as it was time for things to happen he just didnt show and kept stringing me along. im also lowkey pissed bc i wanted to hang with him and i was SO anxious abt asking him out (like i literally threw up twice friday morning bc i was so anxious abt how the day was gonna go). im just frustrated and like i had thought he had gotten the vibe that i was into him romantically bc it sure as shit seemed like he was reciprocating, and now im not even sure what to do anymore.

[meiliarotten]

Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time Two: Electric Boogaloo

Day 9: Lights, Camera, Action (Videotaping)

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairings: Medic x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Medic decide to make some spicy home movies

Tags: video taping, oral

Word Count: 2k

The Masterlist

The beep of the camera, alerting that it was now recording, made you flinch. It felt louder than it should have in the relatively small space of Medic’s quarters. The little red light on the device caught your eye, blinking in even intervals, and you had to tear your gaze away from it.

You tried to convince yourself that it was foolish to be nervous. This was far from the most daring activity you had ever done with the mad doctor, but still, the idea of taping yourself doing such things made you shudder. By the end of the night you would have a physical record of yourself being utterly ravished, and the idea of that was thrilling and terrifying all at once.

Of course, it wasn’t just you. Medic would obviously also be in the recording, but he seemed far less anxious about it than you. He sauntered confidently over from where he had set up the camera with a lascivious grin. You knew he was proud of himself. He had bought the device especially for this occasion, something that you and him had talked about at length beforehand.

You drummed your fingers on the edges of the bed, crossing and uncrossing your legs, now hyper aware of the fact that your every move was being monitored. Were you supposed to act natural, not even acknowledging that the camera was there? Or should you play it up for the recording? Unsure what to do, you simply squirmed in place, waiting for some kind of instructions.

“Excited?” Medic asked, noticing your fidgeting. You squeezed your hands together, trying to keep them still and gave a kind of half smile.

“A little. I’m also a bit nervous,” you confessed, avoiding his gaze and staring down at the floor.

Medic sat next to you on the bed, putting an arm around your shoulders. You eased into his touch, his shirt already off, allowing you to enjoy the sensation of skin against skin. “It's alright, liebe. No one will ever see this except us.” He began to kiss along your jaw, making you sigh as he whispered between gentle pecks. “Isn’t that enticing? The idea of having our own little secret?”

You didn’t get to respond before he laid claim to your mouth, his tongue entwined with yours. You couldn’t deny that the whole situation did sound hot. The idea of having this kind of memory to revisit, a physical testament to lust, passion, and pleasure, was incredibly erotic. Medic could feel you melting into his touch, inhibitions falling away as he kissed you. You were breathing more heavily than usual when the two of you parted.

“Think of it as an experiment.” His hands began to trail up your thighs. “I’m just testing your reaction to certain stimuli …” his palm cupped the front of your underwear, making you shudder. “And recording the results.”

Only Medic could make such clinical language sound so hot.

You were very aware of how wet you were, and you were sure Medic knew as well, with how he was caressing you through your panties. He knew just how to get you worked up. You let out a shaky breath before responding. “Alright, I think I’m ready.”

“Excellent.” He had you lay back on the bed while he shifted lower, pulling the waistband of your underwear down before tossing them to the floor. His hands ran up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh and making you shudder. “Now, let’s show off just how much you love my tongue.”

You arched your back as Medic dragged his tongue over your cunt, gasping as he pressed deeper into you before flicking upwards towards your clit. He rested your legs on his shoulders, continuing to caress your thighs as he worked that delightful mouth of his on your sex. You peered down and caught a glimpse of him, his eyes shut as he savored your taste, hair tousled just perfectly.

His fingers dug into your flesh and he began to focus in on your clit once he felt he had worked you up enough. You squirmed and pleaded, feeling the pleasure beginning to build already. If Medic’s goal was to display how fond you were of this, then he was certainly succeeding. But of course, this couldn’t end so soon, and just when you felt like you were about to fall over the precipice, he stopped. You let out a frustrated groan as he stood upright, moving your legs down off of his shoulders.

“There we go. You seem much less nervous now,” he said, looking smug as hell as he watched you pout.

“Why did you stop?” you whined. He was right, you were less nervous, but you were also very frustrated as you felt the pleasure that had been building begin to ebb away into a desperate ache.

Medic unfastened his belt, removing his trousers and climbing on top of you with startling speed. You gasped as he pinned your arms to the bed. He knew you enjoyed the feeling of being overpowered. “I want to finish with you, liebchen.” And with that, he was kissing you again, teasing your lips apart. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it made your head spin. As you grew more impatient, you began to rub your thigh against his erection, making him pull away with a gasp. He paused to regain his composure before speaking. “I think I would like to take you from behind, with you facing the camera,” he whispered, his voice shaky with his own lust even as he struggled to keep it steady. “I want to capture all those beautiful expressions you make when I’m fucking you senseless.”

His words were enough for you to get into position, on all fours with your legs spread to give Medic all the access he needed. He ran his hands down your back in gentle, soothing circles and gave a soft word of warning before entering you. You tried and failed to suppress a moan at the sensation of finally being filled. Medic leaned over you, his chest pressed flush against your back as he began to gently thrust into you, rocking against your body in a slow, steady rhythm to start off with.

Hushed moans and whimpers fell from your lips as you struggled with the desire to hide your face against the mattress. You made an effort to keep your head up and to keep looking into the lens, even though it made your cheeks burn red. Part of you wished Medic would go faster, just so you would have something to focus on other than the unfeeling eye of the camera, recording your every reaction.

“Don’t be shy, mein schönes mädchen,” Medic groaned, as if reading your thoughts. He could probably feel that you were beginning to tense up. “You look so beautiful.”

That definitely boosted your ego a bit, making you hold your head higher with far less shame. Slowly, you began to ease into the pleasure, rocking your hips back to meet Medic’s thrusts, no longer caring about the camera as much before.

“You don’t have to be so gentle, you know,” you said, glancing back at Medic with a grin. “I won’t break.”

You felt a weight being lifted from your back as Medic sat up, no longer leaning on top of you. “Are you certain?” he asked, his hands resting on your waist. You could feel his fingers twitching, resisting the urge to grip you tighter.

“I am, please.” You squeezed your eyes shut, the fact that you were saying this on camera once again hitting you like a ton of bricks. You gripped the sheets, keeping your embarrassment under control and pushing on. “I want you to fuck me harder.”

“Gott,” Medic moaned softly. Just as you expected, the moment he had your permission his grasp on your waist tightened. Not only did he enjoy the feeling of your body giving in beneath his fingers, it also allowed for more leverage. He pulled back and thrust into you, hard, pulling you backwards to meet his hips. “You feel so good, liebchen.”

Even as Medic held a near bruising grip on your waist you continued to rock back against him harder and faster, making each thrust hit deep. Soon his hands began to wander, stroking up and down your back, kneading your ass, reaching around to caress your chest. You couldn’t help but turn into a moaning mess as he peppered you with all kinds of pleasurable sensations. It wasn’t long before you felt that familiar sensation of your body begging for release, especially when Medic hit an especially sensitive spot. You arched back with a shout.

“Right there?” Medic asked, his voice shaking with either mirth or lust- you couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was both. “Is that a good spot?”

You nodded frantically, not trusting yourself to be able to speak coherently. All you knew was that you wouldn’t be able to stand this teasing for much longer. Thankfully, you didn’t need to. By now Medic was just as desperate as you, and he angled himself in order to perfectly strike your sweet spot with each thrust, hard and fast.

“Fuck, Medic! I’m-” you couldn’t finish your sentence, but the message was loud and clear.

“I’ve got you, liebling. Don’t hold back, I want to hear you come for me,” Medic said, speaking between breathy groans. “I want to look back on this and remember just how good I made you feel. I want you to look back on this and crave my touch.”

Both of you would certainly have plenty to look back on. You tipped over the edge just a moment later, moans and gasps reaching a fever pitch. Your body trembled with the effort it took to keep yourself upright. Even as the waves of pleasure began to fade, Medic was still slamming into you, the overstimulation finally making your arms buckle, leaving you facedown on the bed. Your whimpers were now muffled by the sheets, but he didn’t seem to care, too busy chasing his own orgasm, which overtook him with a few more frantic thrusts. You could feel him shudder against you, as he went still.

For a moment you were nervous that he would collapse on top of you, but he managed to find the strength to roll over. You sighed appreciatively as he stroked your back, with you still laying face down on the bed. You couldn’t suppress a soft whine when he left your side to turn off the camera, even though it was barely a few moments until he returned. Immediately, you settled in next to him, his arms wrapped around you almost posessively. “That wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be,” you said, still sounding breathless.

Medic grinned at you, looking like he already knew you were going to say that. “I knew you would enjoy it once you got started, meine liebe.” He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours, this kiss being far more chaste than what you had shared earlier in the night. “And I promise, that recording will be under lock and key, unless we ever want to do some reminiscing.”

The emphasis placed on that final word excited you. This whole situation, having this erotic secret, was thrilling. Not only that, but the idea of watching yourself getting fucked was rather tantalizing. Nearly all the fear you felt at the start had disappeared now, and perhaps that is why you felt bold enough to suggest what you did next.

“You know, that camera probably still has quite a bit of memory left. It would be a shame for it to go to waste,” you said.

“Oh?” Medic immediately took note of what you were proposing, a smug grin spreading across his face. “Are you up for another round already, liebchen?”

“I think I am,” you said, rolling off of the bed and strutting over to where the camera sat. You pressed the record button. That familiar beep and the red blinking light seemed far less intimidating than before. You turned back to Medic with a devious smirk. “And I’m going to be on top this time.”

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Quarterfinals, Match 1

propaganda under the cut!

Makoharu:

They are the first ship that comes to mind when I think of friends to lovers. I know Free! hasn't been popular since 2013, bug I just love them so much... Makoto's devotion to Haru. There's even a movie that flashes back to when they're kids when Makoto says "I love swimming and I love Haruka". Soft...

Fuyupoly:

Submission 1:

they're from the winter troupe of the mankai company, and unlike the other troupes they're all adults. that said, they all have varying degrees of trauma and emotional stuntedness. it takes them some time to fully open up to each other bc they're all very cautious of each other's boundaries and don't want to cross any lines which initially led to some issues in the group's formation. over time they've learned to bridge the gap while still being mindful of hard boundaries. at one point they have a discussion about what exactly their relationship is (gay) cuz they were talking about how the other troupes have clearly defined dynamics (spring=family, summer=besties, autumn=rivals & teammates) but they don't,, and homare deadass says they're "people bound by a common destiny" which in and of itself sounds very Gay (like why are you as a man bound to other men by a common destiny), but it goes even further because homare starts spouting WEDDING VOWS: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE GAME AND THE MC EVEN REMARKS "i can already hear wedding bells in the distance..." 

gradually they become closer, in individual sub-units based on who's paired up as co-leads for a play, and as a troupe overall. also two of its members are childhood friends who had a messy 'divorce' in their young adulthood and it took the game breaking its genre to introduce a timeloop for them to finally make up if that means anything to you. one of their troupe songs "precious to us ~bokura no kisetsu" has some pretty beautiful and fruity lines: "The many kindnesses born in me here / Never fail to breathe life into my chest / Even all the pain and bitterness / Have now become dear to me (Ah…Stay with me)", "No matter how many times our season passes / Let us keep living together / Holding our hands, without ever letting go / Let us open up the curtain of tomorrow", "There is no need for words, because once our gazes meet / Joy sparks a light in your eyes", "Our journey, may it be a brilliant one / As our breaths overlap as one"

a lot of their plays has a LOT of homoerotic tension between the two leads too. their first play has tsumugi and tasuku play angels, and it's heavily implied that tasuku's character has an unrequited crush on tsumugi's character. their third play has azuma play a vampire and tasuku play Just Some Guy and it's generally agreed in the fandom to be one of the gayest, if not THE gayest, play A3 has ever written. obviously the vampire thing is very fruity, but there's also how the vampire was longing to bite the human but was holding himself back, and when the vampire left the human in the end, the human was absolutely HEARTBROKEN over it and was swearing they would reunite one day. the stage play of this takes it even further by having the vampire embrace the human from behind and BITE his neck. the fourth play is a watered-down adaptation of Phantom of the Opera where they genderbend Christine into Chris among other things and change the relationship between Chris and the Phantom to one of friendship.... ostensibly so, because there's still a lot of homoerotic undertones in their interactions. i could go on but this should be enough of a sampling taste 

Submission 2:

the writers rlly said "let's take 2 normal guys who are childhood friends and have been into theatre since their school days and have them go through a pre-canon messy divorce, an eccentric poet with a potentially controversial haircut, an amnesiac sleepyhead who can only be awoken with marshmallows but is also somehow extremely athletic despite doing nothing but sleeping and eating marshmallows all day, a man who is so beautiful and mysterious he breaks gender, and a supposed android from a fictional south asian country, and throw them into a blender, oh and for good measure let's throw in some theatre and angst and gay and angst and gay" and the end result was marriage. i mean it took them a lot of awkward fumbling around and conflicts to get there but they got there and thats what matters. ok *technically* in-text they're all rlly good friends and kinda found family BUT they are found family via marriage papers i do not make the rules chief

Submission 3:

The reason why they are so friends-to-lovers to me is because their relationship is founded on quiet and unconditional acceptance of each other—regardless of how flawed they may be or how heavy their burdens and trauma may be. When the troupe first formed (sans Guy who was in another country at the time), they didn’t have any major clashing personalities at the very beginning and generally they were mindful of each other’s boundaries, unlike the other troupes that came before them. However, it’s BECAUSE they were too mindful of said boundaries that it was difficult for them to break down their walls and bond as a team—and there were a LOT of walls to break down, as all of them had varying degrees of emotional baggage and trauma.

In fact, it’s only three plays in that they finally truly start opening up to each other, with Azuma getting the ball rolling by opening up about the deep loneliness that haunted him ever since his childhood. It’s during this conversation that they also discuss what their relationship as a troupe is, because the other troupes have defined their relationship as a team (Spring is family, Summer is best friends, Autumn is rivals & teammates), and Homare goes on to declare that they’re “people bound by a common destiny” and goes on to spew wedding vows: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" I mean… it can’t get any more obvious than this, really. They are married.

But anyway, Tsumugi says he wants their relationship to be one where while they respect each other’s need for space, they’ll also be there for each other and share their pains and burdens—or in his words: “supporting each other when our burdens become too heavy to bear on our own”—which I think is really sweet because it carries this idea of quiet, unconditional acceptance; they don’t push each other to share more than they’re comfortable with sharing, but with whatever they ARE comfortable with sharing everyone carries the load and pain because pain is easier to bear when you’re not bearing it alone <3 

A later part of the story focuses on Hisoka, a mysterious amnesiac, being terrified of regaining his memories and facing some “sin” from his past that has led to another character, Chikage, trying to take revenge on him. When he confesses this to the rest of the Winter troupe, Homare asks, “How heavy is this sin you bear?” and Azuma suggests, “Perhaps it’s just heavy enough for the five of us to carry together.” (at this point Guy hasn’t joined yet). The stage play adapts this scene into a song called Key to Memory. The key (pun unintended) part is 1:27 where there’s a back-and-forth between Hisoka and the other Winter troupe members (sans Tasuku because he wasn’t in that particular play)

Hisoka: “I’m scared…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s okay.”

Hisoka: “My unforgivable sin…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “Let’s carry it together.”

Hisoka: “I might not be me anymore.”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s all right. We understand and we accept you, so let’s go together.”

And it ends with Hisoka singing: “I was afraid to open the door of my locked memories. But if everyone is here, I believe I can do it.”  In both the game and stage play, Hisoka fully regains his memories and reconciles with Chikage (long story). He tells Fuyupoly he can’t go into detail about his past with Chikage because it’s dangerous but he’ll tell them when the time is right, and they accept this saying that no matter what his past is, they know and love him as their Hisoka which obviously is a very sweet thing for friends to say, but it’s also very Marriage-coded to me.

Later, Guy is introduced as an android from Zahra (a fictional South Asian country) and joins the Winter troupe as a temporary member—because he’s stuck in Japan for the foreseeable future—until they find a permanent member to replace him. The other Winter members have a conversation among themselves and agree that regardless of whether he’s really an android or a human they’ll accept Guy for who he is and help him improve his acting, which again harkens back to the idea of ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eventually it’s revealed that Guy is in fact a human who has forgotten his memories of the past and his emotions. He recovers his memories all at once which shocks his system and causes him to pass out. When he wakes up in his room, he finds the rest of the Winter Troupe asleep around the room—which I believe is symbolic of their whole theme of “quiet acceptance”: they don’t want to push Guy to share beyond what he’s comfortable with, but they’re always there to listen to him and share his load if that’s what he wants. He opens up about the memories he recovered, and they don’t treat him with pity like he’s a lost child, but still extend gentle empathy and understanding. They also emphasise that it genuinely doesn’t matter to them whether he’s human or android because he’s Guy first and foremost. It’s at this point that Guy truly lets himself become part of the Winter troupe/Fuyupoly and not just as a temporary stand-in member, because he’s found a place where he’s found himself again and people who will accept who this “himself” is, whether that be an android devoid of emotions or a human brimming with vivid beautiful emotions.

[Mod note: There’s a LOT more but we’re afraid of crashing the post. I (Deli) summarised it the best I can since I’m familiar with A3, but if you want to read the full thing you can check it out on this google doc)

[aweirdkindofyellow]

It's time for the other perspective

After some requests, I decided to write Alex's perspective of the first kiss in Off Script. I suggest you read it after you've read chapter 29 just so you don't spoil Alex's thoughts for yourself. But I can't stop you.

---

“But you’ve really got to be insane for thinking I’d be into a girl after she assaulted you,” Jack says, shooting Alex a look – not judgemental, but also not without judgement. 

Alex frowns heavily at Jack’s word choice. “Assaulted?” 

“Yeah,” Jack points out, sounding like he’s in disbelief. “She came out of nowhere!” 

Alex shakes his head in confusion, his thumb’s fingernail going between his teeth in contemplation as his mind replays the scene. The kiss with that girl… he didn’t consider it bad, even if she appeared out of nowhere. Sure, it didn’t make his mind spin or his pulse quicken. But it was familiar and a bit of fun. He couldn’t imagine going out, getting drunk, and not making out with someone in the strobing lights. 

“I enjoyed it,” he confesses in all earnesty. It was a girl, yes, but it was part of the thrill of going out. “Even though she’s definitely not my type,” he laughs, recognising the irony of it all, “I really wanted to kiss someone.” 

Jack doesn’t come back with a response, even though Alex is prepared to defend himself. Because, yes, he’s gay, but kisses don’t have to have an intention behind them. They can be simple fun, an intimate moment with somebody else that doesn’t have to lead to anything. He’s kissed so many strangers in clubs before for no other reason than wanting to.

He turns his attention back to the movie, sensing that the conversation has come to an end. But before he can figure out what he missed and reintegrate himself into the plotline, he notices Jack shift. It’s very sudden. At first he thinks Jack’s just reaching out for something on the coffee table, but the momentum doesn’t stop. His eyes widen when he realises Jack is coming for him, his heart skipping a beat. 

The breath hitches in his throat when Jack’s lips land on his. It’s so incredibly hesitant and Alex has no clue what to make of it. Is Jack trying to prove a point? Is this just a way to test him? 

Alex finds himself frozen, caught between wanting to pull away and an incredible urge to lean in. He can taste the faint sweetness of the soda Jack’s been sipping throughout the evening. This isn’t the electric shock that should be his first kiss with Jack– 

Should? 

Oh, fuck it. A flicker of something starts in his chest, breaking out into a spark that ignites all of his nerve endings. He can’t let this moment pass by. Carefully, he starts to kiss back, so unsure about Jack’s intentions. He can feel Jack’s surprise flicker across his lips, which is quickly replaced by a pressure that deepens the kiss slightly. 

Alex feels himself caught between wanting to melt into it and analyse it all to death. Is Jack just trying to see what it’s like? Has he given Jack the impression that he will literally kiss anybody just for the fun?

A voice in his head whispers a warning. Is this real or is Jack just messing with him? He’s always trusted Jack, but maybe it was all for the show. Maybe Jack just wants to find out what it’s like to kiss a guy or kiss a celebrity. 

The questions become too much and Alex pulls back, eyes wide and breathing unsteady. He gently pushes Jack away, the anxiety bubbling up his entire body. 

“Um–” he forces out, voice shaking with fear.

“I, uh…” Jack stammers, his eyes full of shock and a vulnerability Alex didn't expect. “I just–” 

The look on Jack’s face reflects Alex’s emotions. He’s just as unsure about this as he is. “It’s okay…” he says softly, still in shock, heart now aching that he pushed Jack away. 

He stares at Jack, thoughts still racing, unable to slow them enough to figure out what to do next. Something has to happen or else he might never be able to live with himself. But he’s confused and… scared. 

And then he notices the most subtle of signs. Jack’s still glancing down at his lips as if entranced by them. This is more than Jack fucking around and finding out. It has to be. He has to be feeling the same pull. Otherwise… Alex just lost the one person that means the world to him. 

His heart flips, chest feeling tight and lips warm. “Do you want to kiss me again?” he asks, his voice tentative.

Jack’s eyes snap back up and meet Alex’s. The gaze is intense, making Jack swallow heavily. He nods carefully, and Alex practically feels his heart explode from the adrenaline rushing through him. 

He throws away any doubts he has and crashes his lips against Jack’s again. Immediately, the hesitancy seems to crumble away. Alex finally lets himself appreciate the sensation of feeling Jack so close to him. The feeling of Jack’s fingers in his hair put him at ease, massaging away any leftover anxiety he might have. 

Alex melts into the touch, his heart racing. He’s never felt such a strong pull towards someone. This isn’t just a physical attraction, a fleeting moment fueled by lust and heavy desire. No, there’s a connection much deeper than that here. Jack gets him. 

His hands roam down Jack’s back, fingers splayed wide, exploring what could have only been a fantasy before. A fantasy of finding a connection with anybody on this level, a fantasy he’s had of Jack at night. It’s not just a desperate imagination anymore. 

The kiss deepens, Jack’s hands roaming all around his body. He feels the trail of heat left behind his touch. It sends tingles radiating throughout him. When Jack starts to lean him back, Alex tightly grabs onto Jack’s shirt. 

The movie on the screen continues to flicker unnoticed, highlighting flashes of their intimate moment. The kiss becomes a desperate dance, an entangled language spoken only by their bodies. Alex can’t help but let his palms run over Jack’s chest, exploring something that feels so forbidden yet so right. 

It’s when Jack grabs his hip and Alex feels a moan start to creep up his throat that he pulls back again. As much as he wants Jack – everything of Jack – things are escalating a bit too far now. He doesn’t want this to end up being a regretful one night stand. He’s not even sure if Jack even knows what he’s doing. Jack never mentioned being with a guy before. 

“Hey,” Alex whispers, gently cradling Jack’s face, “you don’t have to rush. We have plenty of time to figure this out.” 

They lock eyes, Jack’s breath ragged as he tries to catch his breath. Luckily, he nods in agreement. “Yeah,” his gaze is intense, “plenty of time.” 

Alex smiles, the glow in his chest expanding. Jack leans down for another gentle kiss, their lips meeting in a soft promise of more to come.

[blubushie]

hiii u know who this is ;3 i have abad questions!!!

do u feel older or younger than u are?

whats ur favorite thing about urself?

if u could tell ur younger self anything what would it be?

would u rather float alone in space or float alone at sea?

what if aliens invaded the planet and they were hot

what bug have u eaten the most of (by accident?)

whats ur most justified paranoia?

if u had a year to live what would u do with it?

whats something u hate?

what keeps u up at night? (besides the obvious)

what do u do early in the morning when u should be sleeping?

whats the worst pain uve ever felt?

how high is ur pain tolerance?

whats the worst movie uve ever seen?

whats ur favorite piece of clothing?

whats an unpopular opinion u have?

whats ur earliest memory?

do u sing when ur alone?

we know uve taken them, but have u ever saved someones life?

what tattoos do u have?

Heh I do know who this is!! I've missed your lists :]

Do you feel older or younger than you are?

Probably younger. I'm 23 but more immature than my father and siblings were at my age. But I prefer calling it a "zest for life." ;]

2. What's your favourite thing about yourself?

Steady hands.

3. If you could tell your younger self anything, what would it be?

Not everyone is trustworthy. Trust your gut.

4. Would you rather float alone in space or alone at sea?

Alone at sea. Waves are calming and help me sleep. Some of the best sleep I've ever had has been at sea.

5. What if aliens invaded the planet (and they were hot)?

I'd clap some alien cheeks, obviously.

6. What bug have you eaten the most of (by accident)?

Flies.

7. What's your most justified paranoia?

Everyone's out to kill, hurt me, or take advantage of me.

8. If you had a year to live, what would you do with it?

Return to Australia and immediately go bush so the government can't find me. Let me die out there where I belong.

9. What's something you hate?

Dumb teenagers who speed and/or tailgate. Also people who overtake and don't use their fucking indicators. But especially teenagers who speed and those that think speeding is cool/skite about speeding. Yeah, yeah, it's fun to go fast, do it when there aren't other fucking cars on the road so if you crash at least you only kill yourself instead of both of us. I've got places to be and I'd like to get there with my anatomy intact, cheers.

10. What keeps you up at night?

Memories of that time I was kidnapped and interrogated heavily for sixteen hours.

Also groceries. "You gotta to the shops tomorrow and get milk, and stop at the servo and get petrol, and-"

11. What do you do early in the morning when you should be sleeping?

Sleeping. I actually have a pretty healthy sleep schedule. I'm 23, my arse cannot pull all-nighters like it used to.

But if I'm not sleeping, I'm writing. Or lying in bed and trying to sleep.

12. What's the worst pain you've ever felt?

Toss-up between scarification for indigenous initiation ceremony and being partially disembowelled by an angry pig. The scarification was slower so the pain lasted longer and was worse mentally because I knew it was coming the whole time so had more than enough time to scare the shit out of myself, but I'd argue the Pig Incident was actually worse on the overall level of pain. Feeling something sharp moving inside your body is a special kind of weird.

13. How high is your pain tolerance?

Tolerance? High. I feel pain easy but I'm good at fighting through it and not letting it get the better of me.

14. What's the worst movie you've ever seen?

Pan Man. It's fucking hilarious. Terrible plot-wise and budget wise, but perfect in its hilarity and execution. It's my favourite "so bad it's good" movie.

15. What's your favourite piece of clothing?

Necklace.

16. What's an unpopular opinion you have?

Beer tastes better as tinnies over bottled. So does fizz. I don't know why but the carbonation holds better and it tastes more... crisp? It's just better.

17. What's your earliest memory?

Lying in a hospital bed when I was three, staring up at the lights in the room, because a plastic surgeon just sutured my left eyebrow back together after I fell face-first into the coffee table and busted it open. My mum was at work and my dad was supposed to be watching me, but he was on the phone and I was jumping about on the couch. She still hasn't forgiven him. The scar's not even noticeable unless you're close enough to see the lines of the stroma of my irises. So unfortunately I don't have a "cool" eye scar like the blokes do in the movies.

18. Do you sing when you're alone?

If I know the song and it's in my range and I'm in a good enough mood, yes.

19. Have you ever saved someone's life?

Yes.

20. What tattoos do you have?

I have a dingo tattooed on the inside of my left wrist. Sometime soon, maybe around the start of next month, I'm looking to get Kaz tattooed on my outer forearm from elbow to wrist.

[itcamefromthetoybox]

Beach Party Himbo

We’re a little closer to the premier of “Barbie,” so that means more Barbie reviews! This week, I wanted to look at a doll made specifically for the movie, and I especially wanted to look at everyone’s favorite Barbie accessory, which means that it’s time for us to look at “Barbie: The Movie Ken!” Let’s take a look at how Barbie’s second banana came out and if this Ken deserves your money.

From what we’ve seen so far, “Barbie: The Movie” takes place in a world where almost everyone’s a Barbie or Ken, with the exceptions of Midge and Allen. Don’t worry, Midge and Allen, you’ll always have a place in my heart. Ryan Gosling’s Ken, whom we’ll be looking at today, is the beach-themed boyfriend of Margot Robbie’s Barbie, the star of the whole shebang. From what we’ve seen in the trailers, Ken is not exactly carrying a lot between the ears, but he adores Barbie enough to accompany her on her adventure. Until the movie comes out, that’s about all I got here. It’s kinda hard to talk about a movie character whose movie hasn’t come out yet. I could tell you about my many Ken dolls, but I don’t think that will be helpful. Though I do adore my Kens. Anyways, moving on.

The dolls for “Barbie: The Movie” are actually aimed more at collectors than kids or casual fans. What this means is that they tend to be pricier, but with really good articulation. These dolls also have higher quality outfits, which makes sense, since the dolls can do more than the average Barbie. You don’t wanna wear out the outfits. While Barbie products in general are very easy to come by, I actually haven’t had any luck in finding the movie dolls at mass retail yet. Based on everything I’ve read, they’re a limited edition line of dolls, and from what I’ve seen, they can only be found online. I’ve had pretty good luck with Amazon and Mattel’s website, but absolutely zero success at physical stores.

In terms of build, Ken looks very pretty. This is a guy who very much works out and definitely has a beach bod, which, based on what we know of the character so far, is exactly what we want. His head does a pretty good job replicated Ryan Gosling in doll form, but the lack of the stubble that Gosling has in the movie makes this Ken look younger and preppier than you’d expect. Also of note here is that this Ken, unlike most Kens you’ll find at mass retail, has rooted hair. It’s also gelled to hold in place, which I personally think works very well for this doll, especially since it’s a doll based off a man who’s supposed to be a doll.

Hair of gold, brain of lead

Ken’s outfit is very bright and colorful, which I absolutely love. It’s nice to see dudes in bright colors, especially since society keeps encouraging guys to wear drab, darker colors. The world of “Barbie: The Movie” is bright, fun, and colorful, and I am delighted to see Ken wearing outfits that go along with that. Ken’s outfit consists of white sneakers, beach shorts, and an open beach shirt, so that I can gaze upon Ryan Gosling’s sculpted (literally) abs and be reminded that I no longer have the metabolism I did in college and that I should probably eat healthier, but that I won’t because burgers taste too good.

I could look like this if I worked out more! And got extensive surgery! And dyed my hair! And was 12 inches high! And was made of plastic!

Ken, like every doll in the movie line, is heavily articulated, which is absolutely what you want for a doll whose whole purpose in life is to party on a beach. He’s got joints in his shoulders, arms, wrists, legs, knees, and neck, so you can put him in all kinds of poses.

Thirst Trap Ken

Aside from his clothes, Ken comes with one accessory: a blue surfboard. It’s proportionate to Ken, which means it’s pretty big. I am a bit let down by the fact that it doesn’t have any detail, but if the idea was to replicate what a classic toy surfboard from the 50’s would look like, then I guess mission accomplished.

Does this paint job have you feeling “board?” Surf pun! Delightful.

 The surfboard has two clips on top, which you can attach to Ken’s wrist, so he can hold the board, or feet, so he can ride the board. The clips are pretty strong, so Ken’s not going to fall off the board any time soon, but that also means that you might have a hard time detaching the board from Ken’s arm. Just keep that in mind so you don’t break something.

I know nothing about surfing culture, so anything I say here will sound forced.

“Barbie: The Movie Ken” has so far only been found online, where he goes for about $25, and is recommended for ages 3+, but is aimed at older kids and collectors. Would I recommend him? Definitely. He’s a very good doll and a fun addition to any fan’s collection. Besides that, he’s also the least expensive Movie Ken doll currently available. If his price seems a little high, remember that this is a very articulated, limited edition doll, which makes that price a pretty good deal in my book. Next week, we’ll be wrapping up our look at Barbie with one more doll from the movie line, so come on back and see what’s happening! This is JS signing off and wishing you Happy Toy Hunting!

[girluninterrupted11]

Moving onto the 1930s…

This decade is quite different from the one of the jazz age. Where 20s fashion is free and rebellious, 30s fashion is sophisticated and traditional. Don’t be fooled though, just because this decade is more conservative than the last one doesn't mean it's any less chic. Honestly I much prefer the look of the 1930s, it's more practical and more tasteful. While the flapper fashion is fun and almost frivolous, it’s not exactly ideal outside of special occasions. Maybe that’s just the type of person I am. This decade tends to be forgotten (probably because the 1920s was so iconic) but doesn’t mean it should be. 

Let’s take a look at some of the key components of 1930s fashion. Unsurprisingly, this is another decade that was heavily influenced by hollywood. The difference is that the 30s are more glamor heavy. The first big Hollywood star that changed the game is Jean Harlow. Some hate her, some love her. Personally she’ll always remain an icon in my mind. I always think of watching her old movies with my grandma. I remember watching hell’s angels with her for the first time and realizing she was the blonde bombshell of her time. I don't think I'd really known her before having watched this movie, but once I did I remembered her. Now when I think of this era, she’s the first thing that comes to mind with her striking platinum blonde hair and glamor. 

Starting with the outfit on the left here, we can see the famous look in the 1933 film "Dinner at Eight". Starting with the outfit on the left here, we can see the famous look in the 1933 film "Dinner at Eight". In classic Jean Harlow fashion, I think the dress is the perfect mix of sophistication and glitz. I have to say, I'm not normally a fan of the criss-cross necklines in dresses, and I'm not really a fan here either. I will say I dislike it less than I normally do here though, I think the rest of the dress really balances it out. This decade is really where we see longer hemlines, more fitted dresses, and higher waistlines (as you can see). I really like this though, I think these additions give a lot of room for potential. This dress is simple enough actually, but with the addition of the fur shawl/coat it’s the perfect evening gown. I’ve said it before and I'll say it again, I really do love fur coats. In this case, I think it really elevates the plain dress, which is exactly what the 1930s is about. Sophistication and elegance.

Next, on the left is a simpler evening gown. I much prefer this one to the first one. If I was living in this era, I would definitely go for the second look. It’s simple, black, but elegant. I prefer black dresses for evening gowns for sure, I really think there's no need for any crazy colours. Simplicity is elegance. I personally always tend to go for black dresses and darker colours. The neckline is simple but not plain. The hemline is long, as an evening gown should be (or at least I think so). It's sophisticated with the right amount of glamour. 

This is also the decade where fedoras and hats became especially popular. Once again, I actually really like hats. I think they're fun and add another dimension to an outfit. Fedoras are especially interesting. They’re not too crazy (not like the hat depicted in the left) but not too simple. Fedoras specifically are very versatile. On men, they can add sophistication to an outfit. On women, they can do the same, or they can be a statement piece, depending on the rest of the look, which I really appreciate. I really like versatility in fashion, it's always best to have some staple versatile pieces than a bunch of different pieces. Quality over quantity is my motto really and the 1930s really gets that.

See you next week, xx.

[madamescarlette]

I'm feeling a tad bit too foggy to write up proper book reviews this month, so instead you're getting a list of Media I Particularly Enjoyed (In February)! for the audience of all two of you where these will all crossover, enjoy <3

Books:

Namesake by Kate Stradling (I also rec. The Heir and the Spare & Brine and Bone by her)

River Inside the River by Gregory Orr (I especially rec. this to anyone who is also a writer/poet, the last sequence was so lovely I had to stare at the wall every time I turned a page)

Devil's Cub by Georgette Heyer (still makes me laugh to no end)

The Selected Poems of Edna St. Vincent Millay by, well, her (I love the simplicity and sharpness of her voice, two of the three long-form poems at the very beginning made me SOB and then the rest were just very solidly good and precious to me)

Movies:

Babette's Feast (beautiful luminous never been done before)

Ponyo (rewatched after many years, still brings me unending light)

The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (what I consider the better of the two Ghibli docs on HBO, and it may only be dear to me because it covers the development of The Wind Rises, but it left me with a weird sorrowful achey peace in my heart)

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (I saw this with friends and I very much think you should see this with a buddy, I had a great time cackling and gasping with them over it)

Games:

Crystal Project (an as-open-world-as-you-can-make-it spiritual-successor-to-classic-JRPGs game that I was enveloped by for the better part of January and the beginning of this month. It has a great deal of quality of life things that are great for me who just likes to climb cliffs and fly over the sea, and the story was just spare and sweet enough for my taste 4.5/5)

The Last Campfire (a short and sweet puzzle-y game about the process of letting go and learning to say goodbye that is very well suited to the state I'm in currently 3.9/5)

A Space for the Unbound (a little indie that's heavily story-based; I watched a playthrough of this and unfortunately was already miserable enough that it didn't quite devastate me as normally it would have but I truly have been thinking about it constantly ever since 3.75/5)

CrossCode (for full clarity, I'm still in the midst of playing this, but I adore the main character and I think the friendships in it are so so so sweet and the conversations that they have about the game they're in get to me because I'm like hey I'VE said that!!! Issa little ARPG about a fictional MMO and the players in it and the art is GREAT 4/5 so far I'm deeply invested in it)

Songs:

Staring Contest - James Ivy (quite frankly I can't tell you why I'm obsessed with this but the bit about laundry in the closet makes me feel so known idk)

You Let Me Down - Alessia Cara

I'll Call You Mine - girl in red (drums!)

Holding Pattern - Nickel Creek (the circling chord pattern is so sparkly to me personally)

I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers (you know the drill this song is my companion when I drive around town shout-singing at the top of my lungs)

Trying to Feel Alive - Porter Robinson (my song of this year maybe)

[mala-santa-radfem]

(About your tags in Luis' post) I don't necessarily think the show was trying to make it seem like a good thing but rather "giving shelter and a job" to women it's how he justifies it to himself but it becomes the show let's us know he is aware he is hurting them because of the priest scene where he confesses he ignores their cries during the night and that he takes advantage of women down on their luck.

It should have been definitely criticized or talked about more than only one scene but it was still more guilt than the Luis from the movie saying basically nothing about owning slaves.

you're right about the confession scene and i do think he does feel guilty but i think that's just his religious guilt. i genuinely don't think he understands the abuse those women go through. at least that's how i see it, he knows it's wrong due to his religion but at the end that means shit to me personally as someone who heavily dislikes religion. that's just my interpretation, excuse me if i'm forgetting something.

i also think the show glamorizes it by stating how great it is that women can count their own money, and that they live in that fancy house partying 24/7, getting expensive gifts and getting to "choose" what they want to do with the clients. (a client wanted to rape a woman, she said no and beat him, louis took pity on him because he was a client)

the whole thing left a bitter taste in my mouth and i wonder why the writers couldn't choose any other job for him.

i appreciate the show for trying to give a little bit more depth to louis, and as you mentioned he's capable of feeling guilty. i always thought louis from the books was a little bland and the fact that he owned slaves made it hard to me to feel sorry for him most of the time.

[thedarkthingcreator]

IS ZOOM FATIGUE IS REAL?

WHAT IS ZOOM FATIGUE?

 Zoom Fatigue Solutions

"Ouch! "My back hurts!"

"I'm exhausted for the day!"

"Oh, I can't sit there and stare anymore!"

Have you encountered this daily while attending numerous online meetings for an extended period?  The majority of you will respond YES!

Zoom fatigue is the sense of being drained and fatigued after attending meetings daily. We may believe that sitting for long meetings has no effect on us because we only get to sit and do nothing physically, but it does affect us, mentally and physically, and has significant ramifications for our psychological well-being.

So, yes! Zoom Fatigue is a genuine thing! Going to school, college, and working were all routine until covid-19 arrived. We, as humans, searched a different path and, as technology advanced, we concluded that transitioning to an online form of operation was the best option. The first 3-4 months were pure comfort, as most people were able to relax and collect their thoughts by staying at home.

Time passed, yet the pandemic did not end. Because of the time spent attending meetings, tiny adjustments began to occur at that time. This is when Zoom fatigue comes into play. Zoom fatigue has several bad effects on us, and it's possible that we don't even realize it or blame it on something else. 80% of American workers suffer from "Zoom Fatigue." 

What effect does Zoom Fatigue have on us?

Spending long hours and relying heavily on technology has an unmistakable influence on our physical and mental health. Constantly staring at screens and attending various types of meetings exhausts us. Zoom fatigue causes us to feel fatigued and burnt out, which leads to distraction and boredom after a while. At the end of the day, we are restless, which contributes to our inactivity.

Did you realize you can quantify burnout? Check out your burnout levels right here! The physical impact of Zoom fatigue on health is minimal. As we sit for an extended amount of time, our backs may stiffen, resulting in chronic back pain.

Zoom fatigue causes a sense of immobility. It can also make one feel helpless and despondent. We may feel as if our heads have grown heavier or lighter. We may experience eye irritation and pain, resulting in excessive tearing, blurriness, increased blinking, and double vision. 

4 Ways to Reduce Zoom Fatigue:

1. Take a Brief Break

It is essential to take breaks between online meetings. The break could be brief. It might be as brief as 5-10 minutes, but it should be of high quality. Resting, lying on the bed for some time, going to the balcony and looking out the window, going for a short walk, and so on can all be part of the break.

Also, you can read self-help books. Check out our Self-Help Books blog.

2 . 5-4-3-2-1 Coping Strategy

Concentrate on the "here and now". Sit back, relax, and watch.

(i) Count the number of visible things.

(ii) Observe four objects that you can touch.

(iii) Pay attention to three items you can hear.

(iv) Notice two items you can smell.

(v) Notice one thing you can taste.

This approach is beneficial for slowing and relaxing our racing mind. It also makes us feel physically relaxed, which leads to mental relaxation.

3.  Let's Disconnect to Connect

Meeting attendance is unavoidable. As a result, attempt to isolate yourself from technology at other times. Most of us spend our free time on social networking, watching movies, or playing video games.

Disconnect from technology and reconnect with yourself by making time for activities that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself and your day. Connecting with ourselves is just as vital as connecting with others via Zoom. Zoom fatigue causes us to be restless and fatigued, which prevents us from working well.

Zoom fatigue may appear to be unavoidable, but we must believe that we can change how we think and that following the five steps listed above will help us lessen Zoom fatigue. If Zoom fatigue is causing you problems, talk to a professional about it. Schedule your session here.

4. LET US OVERCOME ZOOM FATIGUE!

Only those on call who are obliged to be present are invited. The goal should be to keep the calls as short as possible. We at GoodLives use this strategy to prevent video call weariness. We try to speak to our employees as needed during our meetings. People may leave the meeting once their mandatory conversation with one is completed. This decreases zoom fatigue and screen time.

Zoom fatigue may appear to be unavoidable, but we must believe that we can change how we think and that following the five steps listed above will help us lessen Zoom fatigue.

If Zoom fatigue is causing you undue stress, consult a professional. Schedule your session here.

LET US WIN! THE ZOOM FATIGUE..

For more such content visit GoodLives

[absentcaryatid]

Chaehoon's Perfect Symphony

A LA POEM fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Chaehoon rekindles a lost love. Heavily inspired by and quotes LA POEM's cover of Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli's 'Perfect Symphony'

1.3K words, Content note: all ages, gender neutral reader, reader is called darling once

~

Leaning into Chaehoon on the picnic blanket, you marveled how you had gotten back together with your high school sweetheart. Young love had not survived the distance when music studies took him from Pohang to Seoul for college long ago. Despite many futile dating attempts over the intervening years, the person who could compare to your first love never came along. Chaehoon's gentleness, manners, and good humor had set your preferences for life, which kept you from settling for a lesser partner.

For the man who still had your heart to show up in the small town where you now lived was coincidence enough. Literally bumping into him on his visit to the little library serving the area felt like an angel had been looking out for you. The breakup years back had been more one of circumstance than desire and Chaehoon had never been far from your mind over the decade since.

The time apart had been kind and he was nothing if not more handsome than before. Chaehoon's off the forehead hairstyle was a particularly attractive change from when you last knew him. To miss this opportunity to reconnect would haunt you forever. Looking first for a wedding ring, you then gathered courage and asked him on a date. “If you are not seeing anyone that is, I should not presume you are available.”

“No, no, it is just me and a dog.” He smiled. You recalled it was the same look of pleasure as when he would come to the end of a song. “I would love that.” Chaehoon disclosed his work regretfully kept him too busy for a relationship, but also hinted he was very particular, having his taste formed by a youthful romance in the past. The way his eyes lingered on yours let you know exactly who he was talking about.

Trying to tamp down excitement, you decided to explain the invitation. Every year the library held a fundraiser concert. It was an amateur event put on by the community, at least until last year when one of the librarians got a big surprise from the man they were dating who turned out to be a professional singer.

As you related that tale Chaehoon broke out in a grin, one you had missed sorely over the years apart. “The ringer, as you comically described him, is my friend Minseong. He's the reason I knew about the collection of music books here. We sing together as a career.”

“I had no idea you were able to find a job in music.” Backtracking because that did not come across as complimentary, you agreed he had always impressed you with his singing talent, but you knew employment in the field was hard to come by. “Although I always wondered what became of you, I never looked you up.”

You remembered Chaehoon could be hard to gauge sometimes, becoming more expressive in recitals on stage, but years of experience told you there was a little hurt in his eyes. Wanting to salvage the situation, even at a cost of your own dignity, you admitted, “The chance of reading you were happily married and had the three kids you always wanted would have gutted me. I had hoped to be that person for you.”

He gasped. “After my studies concluded, I never searched for you for the same reason. I was certain someone else would immediately have seen your value and made a life with you when I could not.” He hesitantly reached out for your shoulders and you more than met him halfway, soon falling into a warm embrace. “Can we try again?”

Chaehoon got his answer in the form of a chaste kiss to the cheek, a little peck really because who wants to have a romantic movie moment in the middle of the small town library? As it was, you figured the way you gazed at Chaehoon was already going to be the talk of the post office and general store by the end of the day.

The week passed slowly, leaving time to wonder if your relationship could so easily be resumed. Both of you had grown in the years apart, but with luck the compatibility would still be there. The answer came in the form of casual texts that quickly led to some very enjoyable phone calls late into the night. Fully catching each other up on your lives would take more time, though you already had the sense that Chaehoon was still the person for you. Hopefully he felt the same.

Saturday night Chaehoon was parked in your driveway with plenty of time to spare. He met you at the door with a bouquet of the wildflowers that were your favorites. Your former boyfriend remembered other traits of yours too, including the favorite foods he had packed in a hamper. With a blanket over your arm, you walked hand in hand the block to the library.

Picnicking commenced while waiting for the performances to begin and you felt as comfortable as ever at his side. Soon the first performer came up on the makeshift stage and the rousing tune had couples dancing. The next song was slower. Eyeing the couples swaying to the music, you wished you felt that free.

Chaehoon remembered you felt self-conscious in public at times, something as a performer he was less familiar with, but still sympathetic to. He saw your wistful expression, and after the song ended, noted aloud how the couples were lost in their own world. Other than yourself, everyone else was focused on the musicians on stage. “It could be the same for us if you want to give it a try.”

Still hesitant, one thing worked in Chaehoon's favor to get you dancing. When the next song was introduced by Minseong's partner your eyes went wide. “My favorite song,” you exclaimed.

“Our song,” Chaehoon lovingly agreed. “Follow my lead,” he encouraged as he took your hand and rose together. You took a moment to kick off your shoes to take in the coolness of the grass underfoot and Chaehoon stopped to do the same.

He had been right, you thought of nothing but Chaehoon pressed against your body the entire song. Being in his arms again felt like coming home and your old love seemed to agree. “I have dreamed of seeing you again, and being yours.”

Trying to downplay the way your heart leapt at his confession, you ran a hand through your sweat dampened hair and demurred, “I look a mess.”

Though whispered under his breath, you heard Chaehoon clearly, “Darling, you look perfect tonight.” You drew back and looked into his eyes brimming with tears, just as yours were from such strong emotion. In a soft voice he admitted, “If you take me back, I won't give you up this time.”

It was exactly what you longed to hear and you shook your head in agreement. “We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I do want to try again.” With a hand to his cheek you swore, “We'll face everything as a team from now on.”

Beaming, Chaehoon guided you further from the concert crowd, over to a secluded section on the side of the library. Reconnecting with plenty of embraces, caresses, and slow kisses, you took in nothing of the later performers, even Chaehoon's groupmate Minseong who again closed out the event.

When the concert ended Chaehoon introduced you to Minseong. You apologized for missing his song, but the jovial man was very understanding. The way his leader lit up when you referred to him as your boyfriend told him all he needed to know. In love himself, Minseong recognized that blissful look and was glad Chaehoon had found the lost love he often spoke of. Besides, he knew there would be plenty of other opportunities to hear members of LA POEM sing over your long life together with Chaehoon.

~

Masterlist

[searidings]

hi, i just love you and your writing

can i suggest something - you are in love (taylor swift) and supercorp

i cannot listen to that song without going yeah, that's them

(also on ao3 if you prefer)

Five years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, five years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which is as close as Lena's come to happiness since she'd woken up ziptied to a chair in her brother's office. This moment which, despite the fuzzy feeling of her unbrushed teeth and the pungent aroma of burnt toast filling the air, is perfect.

Kara, bed-warm and sleep-heavy, is gazing beseechingly down at the charred remains of a slice of a bread as though if she only pouts hard enough, its edges will un-blacken and its corners will stop smoking.

“I'm so sorry,” she says as Lena rounds the screen separating Kara's bedroom from the rest of the apartment and perches herself on a barstool, tugging her borrowed sleep shorts a little lower down her thighs.

Kara's tone is mournful, her face so forlorn she looks to be one deep breath away from tears. “I wanted breakfast to be perfect, since it's your first time staying over and if it's terrible you might not want to stay again and I, I really want you to stay again, but I don't know why you would since you probably have a private chef waiting for you at home and I can’t even manage toast—”

“Kara,” Lena interrupts, biting at the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as Kara's bottom lip trembles. “It's fine, really. I once set fire to my dorm kitchen trying to boil an egg. And besides,” she winks as blue eyes meet hers. “I like to give my personal chef the weekends off.”

Kara huffs out a relieved chuckle, her face brightening. “Oh, well, in that case,” she grins, a sparkle returning to her eyes. “I'd better feed you up before you go home. Never let it be said that I don't look after you.”

Lena can't help the smile that pulls at her as the warm bright feeling in her chest grows and grows. She tugs the sleeves of Kara's sweatshirt over her hands, fighting the urge to fidget as the blonde orders a frankly obscene amount of food from the brunch place on the corner.

She feels exposed like this, face bare and hair sleep-mussed, unshowered with unbrushed teeth, huddled inside borrowed clothes after the impromptu invitation to stay over when last night's movie marathon ran late. It's a far cry from the regimented composure she fights so hard every day to project, and something in her chest twists anxiously.

Kara is a reporter, after all, and National City really doesn't need any more reasons to hate Lena right now. The darkest corner of her mind – the one which has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for everything to come crashing down ever since the whirlwind of Kara's too-good-to-be-true friendship had come blazing into her life – still worries that this may all be an elaborate ruse. A trap, a way to get close to her in order to assess her weaknesses, to bring her down with an inside scoop.

But in their six months of friendship, Kara's never given her any reason to believe she has any kind of ulterior motive. And despite the suspicions and anxieties hammered into her by a lifetime of hurt, Lena knows now that even if this is a trap, she'll take the bait willingly. Especially if it means Kara will keep looking at her like there might just be something in Lena that's worth her time.

"Hey,” the blonde says gently, leaning back against the counter opposite and pinning Lena with a searching look. “You okay? You kind of zoned out on me there.”

Lena jumps, blinking back into herself with a start. “Yes, sorry. I was miles away.”

The blonde only smiles, flicking on the coffee machine at her elbow. “You sleep okay?”

“Very well, thank you,” Lena answers, fighting to lessen the formality of her tone, to soften the edges her harsh childhood had sharpened into a fortress to keep the world at bay. “Your bed is surprisingly comfortable. I had a great night's sleep.”

"Perhaps the company had something to do with it,” Kara winks as she turns to pull two mugs down from the hooks at her shoulder. Lena thinks back to the smell of Kara's sheets and the soft pulls of her breathing, to the warmth of Kara's ankle against her calf and the strong fingers that had wrapped themselves in the sleeve of Lena's sweatshirt in sleep, anchoring them together. She blushes.

Kara only smirks, pouring their drinks and grabbing the milk from the fridge. “Well, the food's all ordered, it should be here soon,” she says over her shoulder, the waterfall of her golden ponytail mesmerising in the bright rays of morning light filtering in through the vaulted windows. “And you don't need to head off in a hurry, unless you have plans—?”

She glances back at Lena, who shakes her head. “Great!” she grins. “’Cause I was thinking, maybe we could check out the botanical gardens, since it's such a nice day? Oh, and there's a new bakery right across the street that I've been dying to try—”

Lena listens to the blonde's excited rambling with an endeared smile plastered to her face, feeling happy and warm and wanted with every fibre of her being. The feeling is new but so welcome she could cry, and Lena wonders – not for the first time – how she ever got so lucky.

Kara's presence in her life is like sugar in her coffee; meant only to sweeten that which has always been bitter.

Lena's always taken her coffee black. Softening the blow was never much her style.

But here, now, perched at Kara's breakfast bar with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug the blonde has brewed to perfection, sunlight streaming in and highlighting the angles and planes of Kara's face, the way she’s smiling at Lena like there's nowhere else in the world she'd rather be, she realises her reasoning is twofold.

Sugar isn't just appetising. It's addictive. And now that Lena's had a taste of sweetness, she's hooked.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Four years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, four years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which may well be one of the lowest of Lena's life. And she's had some doozies.

The two bottles of wine she'd managed to mainline between Sam leaving to orchestrate damage control at L-Corp and Kara arriving and attempting to confiscate her glass have well and truly caught up to her now. She sways heavily on her stool, the room spinning. Tears sting her vision and guilt scorches her throat as she presses a hand over her eyes so she won't have to look at Kara's face anymore.

“Please, just— just, stop believing in me, okay?” she slurs, heart full to shattering with the faces of lead-poisoned children. “I am not worth it.”

She hears Kara sigh, and the room falls silent for a long long time. Lena drops her head fully into her hands, fighting the nausea that's taken root in the pit of her stomach. It could be the booze that's causing it, of course, but it could also be the incessant headlines baying for her blood, the bullet James had taken for her that she'd fully deserved, the curse of her family finally fulfilling itself.

The guilt, the worry, the crushing disappointment of the knowledge that despite her very best efforts, she'll never be anything but a monster— it's too much to feel. It's too much to bear.

So, Lena drinks.

She drains her glass. She pours another. Kara watches, silent and disapproving, fingers twitching against the granite countertop between them.

Lena finishes her glass. Splashes the last dregs of the bottle into it, blood on ice. Still Kara watches, motionless and mute. It's only when Lena's swallowed the last of the red and is lurching unsteadily to her feet to source another that she moves, a hand reaching out to encircle her wrist.

Shame ignites beneath her skin and she pushes Kara away. Snaps at her to go home, to learn to recognise a lost cause when she sees one and just give up already. Kara refuses with a stoic shake of her head, and Lena sighs.

They repeat the same routine three times en route to Sam's wine rack, the blonde shadowing her every step. Each time, Lena wobbles, head fuzzy and room spinning. Each time, Kara steadies her, and Lena flinches from her touch like her palm is a brand, snarls at her to leave, to cut her losses, to just fuck off. Each time, Kara refuses.

She eventually retrieves the wine after a number of unsuccessful attempts but overbalances on her toes, bottle slipping from her grip as she sways dangerously. And then Kara is there, glass bottle caught a split second before it can shatter, a firm arm at her waist that will not be rebuffed.

Lena struggles, shoving and protesting, but this time Kara does not give in. “Enough,” she says quietly, firmly, blue eyes burning a mere inch from Lena's own. “Lena, enough.”

Lena's unsteady legs buckle further and Kara’s basically holding her up now, walking her slowly over to the couch and she shouldn't be this strong, surely, shouldn't be lifting Lena onto the cushions quite this easily. But it's such a minor concern when weighted against the fact that Lena is personally responsible for the hospitalisation of children that her mind brushes over it, forgets it immediately.

"Please go home,” she slurs as the blonde arranges her on the couch, as she stashes the unopened wine far out of reach and sets about finding blankets and pillows in various cupboards. “Please, just— leave me alone.”

“No,” Kara says, almost snaps, glancing back over her shoulder. Partially hidden in the linen cupboard, her face is cast deep in shadow, a splinter of half-concealed truth. “I made you a promise, I gave you my word. I'm your friend, and I will protect you. Always.”

She crosses back to the couch, soft blankets and pillows held out in invitation. When Lena refuses the offering Kara sighs, draping a knitted throw over her anyway and perching on the cushions beside Lena's hip. “I'm not going to leave you, so you might as well stop asking,” she hums, softer now, a hand reaching toward her that Lena no longer possesses the strength or coordination to bat away.

Long fingers make contact with her cheek, with the mussed curls tangling in her eyelashes, and Kara sighs. “You are not your brother,” she murmurs, fingertips grazing Lena's cheekbone, sliding back to thread into the fine hair at her temple. “And you never will be. There's too much light in you to allow for that kind of darkness, so put that fear down, Lena. Let it go. Be free of it.”

Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. “I poisoned children.”

Kara tilts forward and Lena wonders if it's just that her vision has upped its spinning, but then warm lips are pressing against her forehead, soft and delicate as gossamer wings. Kara's mouth moves against her skin, breath damp and sweet and unmistakeably her. “You saved the world.”

Neither one of them moves. When Lena speaks again, the words hit the elegant hollow of Kara's throat. “I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve you.”

Kara's lips are still on her forehead. “I don't care.”

Lena feels as if her throat is splitting open, every last fear and hatred and worry and insecurity gushing out of her in an unstoppable stream. “I'm scared.”

“I know.” Kara's lips press once more, and then withdraw. They watch each other in the dim light from the kitchen. Lena's vision is beginning to blur at the edges. Kara's hand is still in her hair.

“You will get through this,” the blonde whispers, so earnest Lena almost manages to believe her. “We'll figure it out. Together.”

Heart in her mouth, tongue sticking behind her teeth, Lena's eyes slide closed.

The sweetness of Kara's words, her gentle touches, seep inside her like honey. She doesn't deserve it but God, she wants it. She wants to be worthy of Kara's faith in her more than she's ever wanted anything in her life. She wants Kara more than she's ever wanted anything in her life.

And it's telling, she knows, that she's just lost the trust of all of National City, that she has no way of easing those children's suffering and no way to prove that she isn't the cause of it, that she's finally living up to the Luthor name she's been running from ever since she'd learned what it truly meant and yet in this moment, with Kara's hand in her hair and the ghostly imprint of her lips on Lena's skin, none of it seems to matter.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Three years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, three years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which stands alone as an oasis of calm in the turbulent tumult of the past days, weeks, months of chaos. Lex's escape from custody, Eve Teschmacher's betrayal, James’ shooting, the Harun-El serum, the whole shitty totality of it all has been weighing Lena down like an nth metal chain around her neck.

And Kara, Kara hasn't been around. The one person who has always managed to ease Lena's suffering has deserted her when she needs her the most and it feels like she's been sliced open, cracked in two.

She tells her as much, when Kara at last comes to see her. Tells her she's missed her, tells her she needs her, all but begs her to stay. And what does Kara do? She leaves.

And when she leaves, Lena is gripped by a panic so intense she fears she may never breathe freely again. So terrified is she that Kara is gone for good, that she's forced away the best thing that's ever happened to her, that almost before she knows what's happening she finds herself at Catco with apologies dripping from her own tongue.

Anything to get Kara back. Anything to keep her.

Lena apologises. Kara apologises. Lena cries, and Kara holds her, and tells her that the decision to help her brother when he was dying of cancer doesn't make her the monster she now believes herself to be. And standing on her office balcony with Kara's fingers wrapped around her biceps, with her own tears spotting dark on Kara's blazer, Lena manages to believe her.

When she's collected herself, smoothed away the wetness coursing down her cheeks, she speaks. “I really want to help you with your investigation on Lex.”

Kara's face lights up; Lena's whole world along with it.

“I'd love that,” Kara says, voice quiet and still a little tentative in the wake of their new truce. “But first— would you, um. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

Lena blinks. “Don't you want to get started on the exposé?”

“I do. But—” Kara's face is still painted that earnest shade from earlier, when she'd smoothed her hands over Lena's shoulders and whispered you are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul against the sensitive skin of her neck. Lena feels her cheeks heat up at the memory, at the intensity in the blue eyes still roving her face.

Kara shuffles her feet but her gaze is clear, unwavering. “But you were right. I've spent too much time recently prioritising the wrong things. So, I want to work on this exposé with you, and I want to bring your brother down. But first, I'd really just like to have lunch with my best friend.”

Lena's heart trips in her chest. “I'd like that too.”

So, that's what they do. Kara asks her to wait, which she does, idly tapping out a few emails on her phone. And then the blonde is back, far quicker than should have been possible, with her arms full of takeout bags from the café on the third floor and she's taking Lena by the hand and leading her to Cat Grant's private elevator. She presses the button for the roof and Lena's gaze jumps to her face but Kara only smiles, and squeezes her fingers. “Trust me, it'll be worth it,” she hums, her excitement infectious. “You'll be safe with me.”

And Lena believes her.

That's how she ends up sitting at the edge of Catco's roof on a clean sheet Kara had borrowed from the builders on the second floor, heels kicked off, Kara's red blazer draped around her shoulders. It is worth it, she'll admit; the view from this high is phenomenal. The sun burns bright in a cloudless sky, glinting off the glass-sided skyscrapers of the business district, the glittering waters of the bay beyond.

Kara had picked up Lena's favourite salad, some flatbreads and dips, and they drink kombucha and eat strawberries in the sunshine. They talk and they laugh and they catch up and there's no more fighting, no animosity, no megalomaniac brothers or backstabbing secretaries or worlds needing to be saved. There's only them, she and Kara, and it feels like all she will ever need.

The blonde's hands are braced behind her on the rooftop and she looks happy and carefree as she regales Lena with stories of her upstairs neighbour's antics, and Lena feels the tight knot of tension that had taken up residence in her chest begin to unfurl.

"Hey,” Kara hums, pushing up straighter as Lena licks strawberry juice from her fingertips. The motion brings them closer, their shoulders brushing. “Look up.”

Lena does. High above them, a huge murmuration of starlings whirls and swoops through the air. Thousands of birds move together as one, a vast wave cresting but never breaking against the blue canvass of sky.

“Wow,” Lena gasps, awed.

Against her side, Kara hums. “Yeah.”

They watch the birds for a long moment, captivated by the ceaseless swirling and diving. When Lena at last tears her gaze away from the sky, Kara's eyes rest intently on her face. "Here,” the blonde murmurs, reaching out. The pad of one finger makes feather-light contact with her cheek. Lena's breath catches in her chest.

Kara holds out her finger, proffering the stray eyelash she'd captured with a smile. "Make a wish,” she whispers, her fingertip an inch from Lena's mouth. Her eyes never leave Lena’s.

Lena looks from Kara's face to the eyelash, and back again. From somewhere deep inside her heart, the truth bubbles its way to the surface. “I don't need to.”

Kara smiles, a brilliant, beautiful smile, and Lena knows. The stresses and anxieties of their current crisis feel far away here, harmless as birdsong. She's meted out forgiveness, received it in return. For the first time in her adult life Lena has communicated an issue with a loved one and been heard, understood. She has admitted her own mistake without having it spell out the end of her relationship.

Lena smiles back. The weight of the world sublimates into nothing beneath the bliss of a simple picnic in the sun.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Two years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, two years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which has sapped the both of them to the bone. Another fight, another screaming match, another quick-fire back and forth of accusations and recriminations. Another night of cursing and crying and choking on all the things they never said before this, on all the things they can't now that Kara's secret has detonated in the shrinking space between them like a nuclear bomb.

Another round of bloodshed, and for what?

Lena sags against the arm of the couch, exhausted. Her face is hot, scratchy with salt from the tears still drying on her skin. She's dehydrated, probably, and half hoarse from shouting, tongue blistered with the bitter sting of betrayal.

Across the no man's land of her living room, Kara slumps against the floor-length windows, drops her temple to the cool glass. She's breathing heavily, cheeks wet, posture battered and eyes dark-bruised beneath the force of Lena's wrath. As Lena watches, her eyes slide closed.

It's been three months since Lena found out. Three weeks since Kara found out that Lena had found out.

Every night since, they've done this. Every night, Kara has shown up on her balcony and begged, pleaded, apologised, cajoled, defended, rebuffed, and sobbed. Every night, Lena has unleashed the hollow agony of Kara's deception masquerading as anger in her chest, incinerating the both of them in the fires of her desolation.

She would have expected the wounds to have cauterised by now. To feel some kind of release, the relief of catharsis. Or at least, to have expended some of her fury after all this time.

She hasn't.

They've been at this for three hours already this evening, and gotten nowhere. Kara's skin is pale above that fucking supersuit, face drawn and complexion sallow.

Lena knows how she feels. The singular exhaustion that is her rift with Kara has sapped her in every way imaginable. She can't sleep. She barely eats. She's no longer interested in work, research, friends. There's nothing in her life that isn't tainted by the shadow of the lies her best friend told and kept telling, every day for four years. Lena doesn't know how any amount of screaming and crying is ever going to get them past that.

Across the room, Kara sighs. It might be the saddest sound Lena has ever heard.

“Should we keep doing this?” she asks after an interminable silence, voice rough with tears still building. Her eyes are still closed.

Lena manages, with exorbitant effort, to raise her drooping head. “What?”

“Is there a point to all this?” Kara asks quietly, hunched body sliding a little further down the glass. "The explanations, the fighting?”

Blue eyes blink open. The weight of the sadness in them is unbearable. Lena struggles to find it within herself to care.

“Lying to you about who I am is the single biggest mistake I have ever made, and if it will make even one single shred of difference I will apologise to you every day for as long as I live,” Kara says into the aching chasm between them. “But I can't keep doing this. Not if it won't change anything. I can't— I don't want to keep hurting you.”

An hour ago, Lena would have scoffed at a sentiment like that. Would have parried back with some piercingly dry comment about how the blonde should have thought about that before she decided to betray Lena's trust as soundly as she possibly could.

Now, though— now, she's just too tired.

“So, should we keep doing this?” Kara whispers, throat working. “Or— God, Lena. Should we just— should we give up?”

Green eyes meet blue, two shattered hearts haemorrhaging between them. “Is that what you want?”

“No.” Kara's voice is loud, fiercely determined in the face of Lena's hesitant whisper. “God, no. Never. I don't ever want to give up on you, Lena. I don't ever want to give you up.”

Kara straightens then, with a strength Lena cannot imagine mustering herself. Perks of being a superhero, she supposes. Perks of being Kryptonian. The thought stakes another shard of ice through her bleeding heart.

“But I know that I've spent four years calling the shots for both of us by keeping you in the dark,” Kara continues. “I've taken away your agency. I've taken away your choice. I won't do that again.”

She sucks in a deep breath, a little of Supergirl's regality seeping back into the defeated slump of her shoulders. “So, I'm doing what I should have done from the start. I'm being honest with you, and hoping that you'll be honest back. I'm asking what you want.”

Kara's fingers twist anxiously before her, bottom lip bleaching white beneath the nervous pressure of her teeth. “Do you think we should keep doing this? Or do you— fuck.” Her voice cracks, the tears brimming in her eyes once again breaking free. “Do you want to give up?”

Jesus Christ. Lena never knew that the prospect of doing the right thing could hurt so much.

“Fuck,” she mutters as she kneads her knuckles over her closed eyelids, digging in until white lights starburst across her vision. “Fuck, Kara.”

“I know,” the blonde whispers from across the room, brittle and broken. “I know. I'm sorry.”

Lena slows her assault on her own eyelids, pinching thumb and forefinger hard at the bridge of her nose instead. “I want to give up,” she mutters, and in the taut silence between them she hears the blonde gasp, watery and thick.

Lena blinks open her eyes to find Kara's face crumpling, every facet of her seeming to fold in on itself even as she visibly fights to keep herself upright.

Lena sighs, and hates Kara, and hates herself even more. “I want to, but— I can't.” She sucks in a ragged breath, hating the truth that's just fallen from her lips, hating the lies that had necessitated it. Hating everything and everyone and most of all, hating just how much she's hurting. “I can't give this up.”

The tiniest spark of hope flares to life in Kara's eyes. Lena hates that she notices, hates that she cares, hates that the sight eases the tight knot of devastation clawing at her ribcage just the tiniest bit.

She also knows that this was inevitable. She knows that, though she hates Kara, though she's nowhere close to forgiving her, though she has no idea how they can rebuild from here or even if she truly wants to try, a question like Kara's could only ever have one answer.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

One year from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, one year from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which is barely even a moment at all. It's more like a dream, warm and faded and fogged in darkness, seconds stolen when sleep should have long since claimed them.

Kara's nightmare had woken them both. In the month since they'd pulled her out of the Phantom Zone, she hadn't slept alone once. Often, she stays with Alex, curling into her sister's side the way she would when they were just kids after one too many late-night horror movies. Once, she stays with Nia, tucked up snug in a borrowed pair of puppy print pyjamas.

Mostly, she stays with Lena. It's natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, the way Kara will show up at her place after a Supergirl save or Lena will let herself into the blonde's apartment after a late night in the lab. They cook dinner and watch Celebrity Masterchef and brush their teeth elbow to elbow at the bathroom sink and when Kara is inevitably tugged screaming and sobbing from her night terrors, the way she presses her face to Lena's neck and her hand over Lena's heart is natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, too.

Kara's racing pulse has calmed a little, her grip on Lena's body beneath her losing some of its urgent desperation. After a long moment of Lena's hand stroking her hair, of gentle reassurances and lips pressed to her temple the blonde pulls back, just enough to rest her head on the pillow facing her.

In the dim light filtering in through the bedroom window Kara's pupils are blown, her face solemn. There's something in her heavy gaze that Lena can't identify; something weighted and potent that prickles goosebumps up the length of her spine.

"Feeling better?” she whispers into the inch of warm air between them, reaching out to tuck a sweat-matted curl reverently behind the blonde's ear.

Kara catches her retreating hand and holds tight, twining their fingers together on the narrow swathe of pillow between them. If either of them were to move so much as a millimetre, their clasped hands would press against their lips.

The blonde nods and sure enough, the soft heat of her mouth brushes the back of Lena's knuckles. She shivers.

Kara is still watching her, the intensity of her gaze causing Lena's heart to thud hard in her throat. She squeezes lightly at the fingers threaded through her own. “What?”

A pause, heavy and sweet as overripe fruit. Kara blinks once, slow. “You're my best friend.”

Lena swallows down a sudden swell of emotion. The blonde nudges closer and when she speaks, the wet seam of her lips catches on the angle of Lena's bent knuckles, painting her skin with the words.

“You're the most important person in the world to me,” Kara whispers, breaths skating fire-flashes across Lena's fingers, voice muffling out past the mouth pressed to her skin. “You know that, right?”

Lena's voice deserts her in the wake of the quiet words. She leans forward instead, presses her lips to Kara's fingertips where they rest against the back of her own hand. It's answer enough.

She hears Kara's breath catch, feels the disruption mirrored in her own chest. Both their mouths are pressed to the joined hands clasped between them. If they were to move their fingers down even just a fraction, there would be nothing separating their lips but a promise, a prayer.

Kara's eyelashes flutter in the semi-darkness. The tip of her nose brushes Lena's own. Neither one of them moves their hands.

They only gaze at one another a long moment, and Lena wonders if the blonde is memorising the planes of her face the way she's memorising Kara's. She could look at her forever, be happy here with her forever, and in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

For the first time, she wonders if she might not be the only one.

-

Right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking Lena's hand.

It's been three weeks since they'd taken down Lex for the last time. Three weeks since Kara had stormed into the Tower's med bay to cup Lena's bloody, bruised face in her hands; since she'd brushed her thumbs feather-light over Lena's split eyebrow and purpling jaw and growled don't you ever scare me like that again. Three weeks since she'd leaned in and pressed her lips to Lena's.

It's been two weeks and six days since Lena, confined to a gurney but utterly uncaring thanks to the warm Kryptonian curled against her side, had pressed her aching face to Kara's shoulder and first whispered that she loved her. Two weeks and six days since Kara had first said it back.

It's been two weeks and five and a half days since Nia had walked in on Lena in Kara's arms, lips pressed to her neck and hands wandering beneath her sweatshirt, and promptly shrieked the place down. Since their friends had exchanged pointed glances and relieved sighs and congratulated them on finally making it official, their expressions ranging from overjoyed to exasperated to plain exhausted.

It's been two weeks and four days of she and Kara dating; of morning kisses and shared showers and the perfect partner at game night and all of Lena's wildest dreams coming true.

It's been less than a minute since Kara had admitted, hushed and wondering, that she'd known she was in love with Lena ever since she'd found herself suddenly prepared to poison National City's entire water supply rather than let Lena fall. That she hadn't been able to fully it admit it to herself until she'd found herself suddenly prepared to alter the course of all of history in order to get Lena back.

And right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking her hand. She's looking deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice barely rises above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And now that she has, Lena is sure of her answer.

The highlight reel of her relationship with Kara lays itself at Lena's feet, each precious memory between them stretching out like a roadmap of her growing affection, with every hard-won step leading her right to this moment.

And in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love with Kara. Really, she always has been.

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: hello my dears! Sorry for not updating the past few days. I travel a lot for work and the circumstances lately made it difficult for me to update as much as I wanted. Although I did get enough inspiration to write this chapter. I come back to you with some juicy lemony goodness ;)

Minors DNI

Warning: NSFW content, mildly non con at the beginning, emotional sex, hurt, comfort and angst.

X.

Blinding jealousy was the only thing that could describe how Satoru felt. Boiling in his blood, licking flames of rage through his body.

Betrayal… his best friend, holding his wife’s hand as he walked her back home. Not only that! Suguru went in with YOU! In your apartment! As if this was the most normal thing in the world!

Did you invite him to stay the night? Did you both plan this ahead of time?

Warping to the top of the building next to yours he continued to watch from his position as you turned on the lights in your apartment. Setting your bag on the counter, taking off your shoes and jacket. Suguru followed you in taking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen after you.

Gojo saw you both laughing and talking like you always did. You were at ease, immersed in your own world… completely forgetting about Satoru.

Did the kiss from last night mean nothing to you?

“What the fuck is going on?!” He groaned removing his blindfold; now fully observing and analyzing every single detail of what you two were doing using his six eyes.

Gojo didn’t want to miss a thing.

He focused on you, your reactions, the way you smiled, the way you acted, your heartbeat, the tone of your voice and… that bright and warm halo of happiness surrounding you while in Suguru’s presence; the same halo that last night was cold for Satoru. All of your smiles, all of your warmth and kindness were dedicated to Suguru.

Satoru’s frayed nerves and chaotic mind debated wether he should warp there and steal you away (… of course then proceed to fuck your into oblivion, fill you with his cum to the brim until you knew there was no other man for you other than your husband) OR keep watching and see how far you would go.

As angry as he was right then, he had to remind himself that Suguru and you had always been very close. It wasn’t uncommon for Geto fo visit you and have dinner with you to keep you company whenever Satoru wasn’t around due to his work or even have dinner together all three of you. This wasn’t ‘abnormal’ per say. The difference was that NOW you ‘thought’ you were not Satoru’s anymore (the operational word being ‘thought’)Geto’s presence never bothered him before… until now.

Taking a deep breath Satoru saw you walking towards your bedroom. His hands trembled in anticipation.

Were you going to sleep with Suguru?

He walked along the edge of his rooftop following your movements inside until you stopped in front of your room. Suguru moved closer to you and Satoru almost snapped. Lifting his hand to use his cursed technic against his best friend he saw how you both hugged and after you placed a kiss on his cheek you bid him goodnight. You pulled back and Satoru sighed in relieve but then Suguru was the one that leaned in and kissed your lips. Satoru was as shocked as you were but you managed to recover faster than he did since you returned Suguru’s embrace for what felt like an eternity. Finally when you separated, Geto and you exchanged a couple words and after another hug he walked out of your room closing the door behind him.

Satoru’s eyes had been open like saucers while the exchange took place, he released a breath he didn’t know have been holding. He saw you turn around and touch your lips with a blush on your cheeks.

He lost his fucking mind right then.

-

After coming back home Suguru and you talked about the latest shows you were watching and the movies you wanted to watch so you could catch up. A couple jokes about your gory tastes in movies and series after and you were both ready to turn in for the day.

“So! You wanna do a ‘The Walking Dead’ marathon?” You asked with a smirk “sure doll, we can do that tomorrow. You have the morning free right?” Asked Suguru. Sunday mornings were your ‘me’ time since your instructor didn’t work on Sundays “yes I do!” You answered with a big grin. You felt like a kid and the sensation filled you with happiness.

Now that Suguru was here you felt so different, as if you had been numb but now you could feel again.

A yawn cut your next sentence making Suguru chuckle “come on sleepy head, you and I are both whipped” you complied with a sleepy smile and walked down the hall.

Geto stopped in front of your room and gave you one of his characteristic big bear hugs. He was so tall and muscular, you felt surrounded by warmth and muscles everywhere. The fresh and crisp scent of his citrus cologne and detergent made your stomach do a little flip. The intimacy and trust you felt with him reminded you that you were not alone.

It had been easy to bury yourself physically and emotionally in your work but now that Suguru was with you, it reminded you that despite of how tough things got, you would always count on him.

Reluctantly you both pulled back, his Adam’s apple at eye level with you made you swallow. When you looked back into his eyes you found his trailing on your lips before they moved up to meet your e/c eyes.

There was a growing tension between the two of you, too strong and obvious to ignore.

Before, when you were with Satoru; Geto and you had ignored it but now there was nothing stopping either of you from acknowledging it. Sooner than anticipated your lips connected in a tender kiss. He was soft and kind, not demanding. He just wanted to comfort you but also let you know he wanted you, all in his sweet particular way.

You returned the kiss. It was inviting like a balm, it didn’t mean to mark and conquer but to soothe. His plump lips still tasted of wine. It made your mouth avid to taste more.

When you pulled away a blush covered your cheeks “good night Kitten” Suguru tells you with his deep baritone making a very pleasant tingling sensation run down your spine “good night Sugu” only then Geto leaves to go to his room across from yours.

The door closes behind you, all you can hear is your heart hammering away from within, you actually….enjoyed that kiss. It was so sweet, so tender… so soothing. Everything that Suguru was to you was poured in that single action. Touching your lips you start debating whether this was something good or something you should wait before pursuing.

Satoru didn’t sign your divorce, technically you were still married. Suguru didn’t deserve a half assed relationship with someone who doesn’t have her shit together.

You were still healing it was true, but… when Suguru kissed you, it made you feel safe…. Like you could let go and trust him.

Feeling guilty about it, you compared it to Satoru’s kiss from last night. It was impossible to deny there was still passion between you your husband and yourself. But then again physical intimacy was never the problem in your former relationship.

The thrill of the danger, of knowing nothing good would come out of it and despite it all your stubborn desire to immerse yourself in the ocean that was Gojo Satoru. Was what terrified you.

No… you couldn’t think about him that way. Not anymore.

With a sigh you decided it was time for bed. You turned around to head to the bathroom but your body connected with something hard and warm. Looking up you saw Satoru’s crystal blue eyes but before you could scream he covered your mouth with one hand while wrapping the other one around your waist. “Oh no no no no my love… none of that, we are not going to alert sweet Suguru about me, princess” the smirk that pulled at his lips made you shiver, it was predatory… maniac even.

Before your senses could register the change in the atmosphere you were warped away with Satoru. You screamed, but it was too late, you were not in your home anymore.

The lavish interiors of an elegant dim lit suite received you “what the fuck are you doing!?” You asked when he let you go, taking a step back breathing heavily “are you insane!?” You asked the white haired sorcerer who in answer only moved closer to you. The more you tried to get away the closer he got, until you were trapped between the wall and his towering 6’4 frame.

—

“Now princess…. Just what were you and Suguru doing?hmm?” He asked with a terrifying grin that poorly attempted to disguise his anger. Moving his hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Nothing of your concern!” You answered glaring at him, had he been spying on you? You tried to drop your body against the wall to escape from him but before you moved further than an inch down Satoru completely crushed your body with his “I am not done talking to you yet… my wife” he remarked making you ball your hands in fists. It annoyed and revolted you how he tried to use your ‘unfortunate’ marital status for leverage “I am your wife only on the paper… I don’t care what you think or say!” Satoru didn’t like your answer but his grin only broadened; grabbing your wrists and placing them on top of your head he held them with one of his large hands of dexterous fingers “you are right….” He started, giving you false hope “maybe it is time I remind you of your marital duties” your eyes opened wide but before you could attempt anything he kissed you. Fierce lips and teeth demanded your submission… this wasn’t a tender request… it was a display of dominance and possession.

You bit his lip trying to make him stop but Satoru took that as an invitation to grow bolder. His hand moved to your ‘V’ cut long sleeve top and ripped it right in the middle making you gasp; giving him the perfect opportunity to plunge his tongue in your mouth and intensify the kiss tenfold.

His free hand moved to your left breast squeezing the globe of warm flesh underneath. Groaning against your lips on approval, Satoru moved both his hands to your hips and using his inhuman strength he carried you across the room faster than you could tell and then threw you on the bed.

“Satoru… don’t do this! Are you mad?!” You asked in a trembling tone while scooting backwards on the bed in a miserable attempt at escaping him.

“Yes! I am! As a matter of fact… you are a good part of the reason why I am insane!” Grabbing one of your ankles he pulled you closer to him. Spreading your legs he laid on top of your body, giving you no chance to escape “SATORU STOP PLEASE!” You screamed but Satoru only focused on destroying the fabric of your jeans. He wanted all the obstacles between you to be gone! He wanted your clothes, your pain and Geto to be gone! So he could have you all to himself.

You tried to kick him but when you are struggling with the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of his generation there was absolutely nothing your body could accomplish without his approval.

A part of yourself hated the fact that you were just as revolted as aroused at the moment. Was that combination even possible? On one hand you felt dirty because your husband was trying to force himself on you out of jealousy…. But on the other part… the dark and twisted one… you were aroused by his display of pure male dominance, by his suffocating desire to have you and only you.

It was hard to fight so many years of habit, of fantastic chemistry… of love.

You would have to be blind or stupid not to see that your husband had been obsessing over you since you left but….

What good could come out of it?

If you both gave into your primal desires and fucked each other’s brains out. Would that change anything about your broken and unhealthy marriage?

His hot mouth moved to your neck to nibble and suck on that spot right bellow your earlobe that he loved to abuse. A big bruising mark was left in place, but he wasn’t content with just that. He wanted to leave the brand of his desire painted on your skin, like a beacon for him and a warning for others.

As the minutes went by his attentions became less frantic, instead they turned more purposeful and tender.

You stopped moving altogether, not fighting him nor corresponding his affections and careful treatment of your body.

https://youtu.be/qfFOzQVKuMs

Satoru pulled back for a moment to see you…. Only then it hit him like a train.

What the fuck was he doing? He looked at you and saw the tear trails that dried on your cheeks. Your top ripped in half displaying the soft skin of your breasts only covered by a bra.

“Y/N…” he whispered looking into your eyes. He caressed your cheek “I’m sorry… love” he mumbled trembling. “I’m so sorry…” a sob broke through his lips.

Did he…..? Did he…. almost forced you to have sex with him? How far had he gone in his endeavor to get you back by any means necessary? The notion that he almost…. Raped his wife made him sick.

He cried like a child. Wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face against your naked stomach; kneeling on the floor before the bed he crumbled to pieces. Repeating ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. He was horrified with himself; he had done many questionable things in his life but this… took the cake. It made him a piece of shit! He didn’t deserve you! You were too good for someone as tainted as him. The dread that revelation brought made him cry harder.

He realized his obsession had been a result of the fear he was unwilling to admit having. The terror that made his insides coil. The absolute horror of losing yet another person he loved.

The fear of loosing you.

He had always been alone since he was a child. Satoru didn’t share much of his past with you but the few things you knew was that he had become an orphan at a very young age. He had to mature rapidly to overcome the obstacles of being a kid with so much power in the middle of a corrupt and outdated world of magic and intrigue.

Gojo always felt lonely, despite of how much he liked to mess around with people and play pranks on everyone. But you… had been one of the very few who got to see through his perfectly built facade and tell him the truth.

The night he told you he loved you was after you decided to stay with him in his apartment. He didn’t say or do anything particularly obvious but you somehow knew he didn’t want to be alone. He kept trying to fill the space with playful banter but you shut him up by hugging him and holding him tightly saying he didn’t have to explain anything all. That you would always be there for him, no matter what. It had been on the anniversary of the death of his parents.

Somehow, your empathetic and loving nature blindly guided you to stay with him and allow THE Gojo Satoru to be just…. human in your arms.

-

As much as you wanted to hate him and resent him, seeing him in such a vulnerable state made your heart ache for him. Unable to stop yourself you caressed his platinum locks while he held onto you and cried begging for your forgiveness over and over again.

When Satoru calmed down he removed his head from your lap slowly, you have been crying along with him. Your fates leaded you both exactly where you were at. Every decision and mistake carved this painful path you walked now.

Looking into your eyes he moved closer as if he was afraid to scare you away, his face stopped just an inch away from yours, giving you the chance to reject his advances but instead of doing that you closed the distance that separated you both. You lips met and melted together in a desperate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, making him moan recognizing the intimate and passionate gesture he had missed for so long. He laid you back down again, climbing on top of you. His hands moving down to your waist in an attempt to feel you as close as possible, as if you were going to disappear in any moment.

Your legs wrapped around his waist when your tongues laced together and caressed each other; moans and sighs left your lips, filling Satoru’s ears and making his hands wander over the expanse of exposed skin.

Making him stand before you and between your legs his long sleeved black shirt was removed quickly, your admired his perfectly sculpted pale torso, this man has always been so… perfect; as if the gods themselves had decided to carve every inch of his person. Although, he did look skinnier, you knew he had not been really taking care of himself. The sight send a pang of pain to your heart. “Toru….” A little painful whisper abandoned your lips when you pulled him closer. Your mouth left a small path of kisses from his neck to the center of his chest, he gasped at the sweet and soothing action. Once more, your tenderness reminded him that he did not deserve you and yet he couldn’t come to make himself stop you. He needed you more than air to live.

Avid hands moved south of his stomach to undo his jeans and pull them down; a very vague part of your brain registered that you were now willingly doing this. Should you stop? Next to go were his boxers. He was standing naked in front of you.

His hardened cock stood between his legs with a small dribble of precum rolling down the reddened head.

He was an Adonis.

Looking into his eyes you saw the loving gaze laced with guilt in his cerulean orbs. You couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to.

He then helped you lay down to return the favor. His mouth kissed its way to the center of your breasts while his right hand undid your bra behind. Taking off the remains of your destroyed top along with your bra, next were the flimsy black lace panties that he rolled down your legs until you were fully naked before his eyes.

He was left speechless “you are so beautiful…” a goddess laid naked on his bed, with her inviting lips, glorious s/c skin, a halo of darker h/c hair around your head, perfect breasts and a pair of delectably shaped legs that he wanted wrapped around him.

How did he ever dare cheat on you? Not only your body was beautiful to him but your heart, you knew no boundaries when it came down to loving someone. You had given him everything and then some.

Kneeling before you he grabbed one of your legs and left kisses from the calf to the inner thigh. Placing it carefully over his shoulder he stopped for a moment to look in your eyes before his mouth delved between your thighs. He found your sweet pussy already wet and waiting for him to lavish his attentions. Like a starved man he licked your pussy, consuming everything you had to offer him. Your flavor coating his tongue made his stomach tight in delight, he recognized the addictive sweetness of your scent. Parting your lips with his tongue he penetrated your entrance with his tongue, going straight to the source. You screamed and he had to hold your hips so you wouldn’t pull away. He couldn’t let you go! Not now! Not ever!

Once he was satisfied he replaced his tongue with his fingers, pumping two digits in and out of your soaking entrance. His tongue looked for your clit and swirled around it, sucking at times and flicking at others. His reward were your screams, moans and sighs of pleasure. They were only for him and no one else.

“T… Toru… I’m gonna come”

“Come for me princess, give me all of you my love” Satoru asked quickly before his mouth returned to your slit and his thumb took care of the bundle of nerves at the top.

You screamed, arching your back when your orgasm washed over your body and completely overwhelmed your senses. Taking his time to taste and swallow your juices Satoru finally emerged from between your legs. Your eyes darkened with a desired that matched his.

Your arms inviting him to come closer encouraged him to lay on top of you after wiping his chin with his hands. Long legs surrounded his waist while you looked in each other’s eyes. “I love you…” he said at the same time he slid his cock inside you, slowly until he was fully sheathed and his balls slapped your ass, making you scream his name.

Satoru was not a small man by any means, taking all of his impressive length at once would have been impossible had he not prepared you beforehand. He knew it, so he moved slowly at the beginning, allowing you some time to adjust while he whispered sweet nothings on your ear.

The moment your legs pulled him closer and deeper he knew you were ready. Without a word he rocked his hips, retracting all the way until only the tip was left inside before he went all the way back in making you body jolt.

The rhythm was slow and purposeful at the beginning but as the minutes went by, the both of you became hungrier, more demanding, more… needy. Your hips met his thrust by thrust. The slapping of your skins intensified as did the moans.

Your tight and hot walls squeezed his cock so deliciously the man was having a tough time not behaving like an animal and rutting you through the mattress like a beast in heat. He wanted to show you he loved you.

He held both your hands in his, pushing them against the bed at both sides of your head. Looking into your eyes he moved deeper “I love you…” he said again and you couldn’t help but feel how the tears escaped your eyes “I love you too…” you admitted in a tiny voice that could barely be considered a whisper.

Satoru eliminated the distance between you both and kissed you, pouring his heart in that action. Your climax was close, he knew this so he angled his hips to continue pummeling your sweet spot while he drove you over the edge.

You came around his thick cock, your walls tightening around his member as if they never wanted go let go “I’m gonna come princess” he moaned and then with a few hard thrusts he spilled himself inside you, painting your walls with his cum.

Your worn out, sweaty bodies stayed still. Trying to recover. Satoru refused to remove himself from inside you.. Not yet, he wanted to savor this moment, the intimacy and the love he felt.

You didn’t protest, instead you did what you used to do back when you both were still together. Cradling his head between your breasts you stroked his hair, lulling you both to sleep.

Your last coherent though before sleep claimed you being… That once again… you fell for it.

Guilt settled in.

————-> Chapter 11

-

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