#and also quite literally being why shadow was made in the first place? like did ppl forget he was supposed to cure her orrrrr | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

epwritten · 5 days ago

Text

T a s t e ~ l.f

"Just look at me baby, day and night"

Description: You want what you're afraid of getting. You both play this game of want and desires, temptations, and limitations, secrecy, and need.

Word count: 8K. Hehehe. 😬

Author's note: I got into Stray Kids late summer last year, so there's a lot of performances I'm still getting into. But a week ago I saw Taste for the first time and...wow. When I first watched the Taste performance, everything was running through my mind at once. It was the perfect showcasing of temptation, where me -a usually by-the-rules person - had thoughts that were uncontrollable. I've never seen anything quite like that before, where in the moment I was so captivated. This concept came immediately after watching the video late hours into the night.

Additional notes: AU kind of...even though they're Danceracha, they're not members of Stray Kids. They're three college friends trying to make it by, making music.

Another note! This can be a little toxic, but the whole gist of this one shot is to showcase what temptations between people really look like, especially if you have one who grew up under strict conditions and now goes through inner conflict of whether or not they should throw away their restrictions for a chance. I don't want there to be anything that upsets anyone as they read this. It wasn't my intention honestly!

AND MOST IMPORTANT!

There's no smut in this. I'm not comfortable writing it. I know this one shot more ofc focuses on temptation and what that feels like, but I'm just not comfortable so please don't expect it and then get mad when you've reached the ending and there's nothing aha <3

Okay that's it! Happy reading! Hope you will enjoy <3

To lay it out in simple terms, you were drowning.

No, not literally. But it felt so much like it.The place had a way of heightening all of your five senses in one setting. You always found yourself playing the senses game with your dad when you were young. He may have forgotten about it, but you carried the habit with you, even if it was subconsciously. You always observed the five senses in a place and how that made you feel. Sometimes it was for safety measures, identifying what in an unknown room could be your shelter. Other times it was a reflection of happiness, if you were at the beach or somewhere that you could not count all your senses aligning in the best way.

But sometimes, on a night like tonight for instance, it was out of nerves.

Smell: The scent of expensive perfumes from those in the room lingering in the air.

Hear: The noises of conversations in and out of your ear through everybody else who was in the room.

Touch: Your pulse, right under your neck, a signal of nervousness when things got too overwhelming.

See: The lights dimmed in perfect blue, everything dark and rich in color that you may as well have been drowning with the wave of shade plastered and flashing shadows where the lights loomed.

Everything about this atmosphere was tempting, inviting, alluring. You could feel the vibration of the bass, on the floor right where your foot was planted, but also buzzing in your chest. You knew needed to breathe. But nothing was working with your senses anymore, almost as if they were too far gone, lost in this place of entrapment.

Why did you decide to come?

You were definitely out of place, you considered, as you craned your neck trying to look for something and nothing at the same time. People were chatting and laughing and you wondered if being social was a game of pretend that everyone aced at, or an actual skill. Nobody even looked bored before an event would start. It amazed you so. You on the other hand, always hated to be so early to places where you had no other choice but to socialize before the main events arrived. Yet for this specific night, you didn't dare arrive late. You didn't want to admit it out loud, but you didn't want to miss...him.

Great. Your mind was doing it again. Thinking about what you vowed not to think of. But there it was, a delicate subject you didn't want to tempt with thought and imagery, but it pulling you in.

Him, with his dark eyes, a stare that captivated you, and seemed to control all of you- your mind, your body, your soul. He was dangerous to what you thought held your convictions for so long, the definition of what you couldn't cross and somehow you did. Though not really. But still. The whole thing was rather...complicated.

Because it started with you, that night, three months ago. You didn't even know why you were there. Life was tough and you needed somewhere to escape to. Your friends always suggested a high scene that could make your feelings go numb for the evening, how the dopamine release would maybe even be good for you. You never considered it those days of your youth, but a few months back, you found yourself at a high scene of a nightclub under blaring lights.

~ 3 months ago ~

Even though you were in your early 20s, it was your first time, so of course you felt out of place. Did people actually enjoy this?

That night was a night of many firsts. A stranger sauntered over to you and asked to buy you a drink. You didn't realize that what happened in the movies you saw could actually take place in real life. People were making out in the back corner- full on, not caring if anyone else was looking, and not getting a room anytime soon. The music was loud. There were so many people, so many stories. But, you all were strangers to each other, and that was the pep talk you told yourself.

You were a stranger. Whether you were actually shy and timid or confident and sexy, no one would know the difference. It was one night in this nightclub. You could be anyone you wanted to.

You could also meet anyone you wanted. And that's what you did.

He was on the top floor when you first saw him, manspread on the purple lounge couch. There were two other guys with him, one with brown hair and the other with blue hair but you barely noticed. Even when they stopped talking to each other and eyed you as you got to the top of the staircase, searching for a place to sit, your eyes only zeroed in on one.

See: Jet black hair, dark eyes, pale skin, wearing all black. He was the most beautiful person you could ever see. His features were pretty, but his stance was dominant and you couldn't help but let your mind run with thoughts that normally didn't cloud your vision. But this night was meant to be different anyway, at least, that's what you were trying to tell yourself.

You swallowed before you spoke out. "Am I allowed to sit here?" You asked, because for some strange reason no one else was up in the balcony seats, just those three men.

The man in the middle of the couch smiled before he shifted in his seat, moving to the other side of the couch.

"Of course you are. Come sit."

Hear: His voice was lower than expected, a velvety tone with a certain accent, though he didn't say enough words for you to realize which one it was. Your heart churned deep in your chest as you slowly walked towards them. You sat down right where the middle man patted and immediately you were hit with the scent of his cologne.

Smell: A hint of springtime but spice of power.

When you sat by him, the two other guys that were there wandered off, leaving you and the middle man alone. They made no excuses and walked out like it was no big deal. You didn't want to disturb any of them, but they were out of your hair by the time you sat.

You couldn't help but sneak a glance at who was sitting right by you on the couch. The music was blaring, lights were dimmed but luminescent enough so you could see the sparkles around his eyeliner and the color tint on his lips. He looked incredibly unreal, just sitting there.

And then he looked at you.

It was strange. You would be the person who would look away instantly, blush constantly and find something to fidget with, causing so much of a distraction to reduce the heat on your cheeks and color on your face. But right there in that moment, you didn't look away, you stared right back.

You didn't know anything about him, but you remembered how when you first walked into the club you said to yourself that you wanted a change. That you could be whoever you wanted, and no one would know anything different. He wouldn't know anything of your shy nature, the innocent image that so many mocked you about, he wouldn't know.

"Can I get you a drink?" The man asked finally, his pupils looking so intensely at your soul you thought he was genuinely lost in them. He was attentive, that was noted.

You shook your head. You've never drank before. Even though tonight would be the night of promises to live young and not overthink everything, you were still nervous for the substances.

"I'm good. Thank you though." You answered.

He nodded understandably as he sat up straighter. "Ah, that's okay." He said.

"I've never seen you here before. Are you new to the city?" He continued.

It was when he said that your heart started beating a bit more. Australian, that's what it was. He was definitely Australian.

He angled his body on the couch so he could face you properly. Though you were shy among his gaze, and had trouble fully looking at him.

"I've been here, I just..." You paused. You didn't want to seem like such a fool if you were to say that you've never been in a nightclub before. The man looked around your age and it would be somewhat embarrassing.

So you lifted your eyes and looked at him.

"I just never got to actually talk to you before." You said.

The man blinked before he leaned forward, a hand brought his chin as he gazed at you. "You've seen me here, but you never talked to me?"

You swallowed but wanting to keep going with the act. You told yourself in your mind not to care. So what if you flirted a little bit? Anything that would comment for this man would be truthful anyway.

So you scanned him with your eyes, taking everything in before you spoke out.

"Well...you're the sexiest person I've ever laid eyes on, so it'd be difficult..." Your voice trailed off.

Oh goodness. Did you really just say that out loud?

The man raised an eyebrow, but his smirk said otherwise. "Sexy, yeah? That's what you think of me as?"

When he repeated your words back, it made you suddenly shy, looking away. How did people at clubs do this? Were they always that forward?

He looked like he was okay with it, but you couldn't keep this front and confident act much longer. But you wanted to. You so wanted to just forget about your worries and let the night take its course.

"Hey," He chuckled warmly. "Don't go shy on me now." He said, eyes never leaving your face.

So you didn't. You took a deep breath and looked back at him. "Yes, that's what I think of you. You're sexy."

Being forward left a weird taste in your mouth, but the way he looked at you said so much at the same time. It fed you, fed your emotions. Because you could see that your words were the ones to cause him to smile, despite the shyness wanting to creep up on you.

"Thank you." His voice was a low decibel of temptation. He let his eyes travel down past your eyes for a split second before centering back on your face again.

You blinked and took a shallow breath, trying to ease the thundering beat in your chest.

The man then smiled genuinely and you swore you never saw anything more unreal. He looked kissable. You wondered what kissing him would feel like.

Where did that thought come from?

"You're a little shy, aren't you?" He guessed, reading your like a book.

Touch: You crossed one leg over the other, accidentally brushing his leg with yours and you quickly drew it back. You were failing your confidence but the way he looked at you...there was really no chance.

He chuckled when you didn't respond. "Don't be, get comfortable. What's your name?" He asked.

You said it and he repeated your name to himself before he nodded. "It compliments you. You're just as beautiful if not more."

And there came the butterflies once more.

You turned to him, trying to come back to look into his brown eyes. "What's your name?" You threw the question back to him.

"Felix." He answered, giving you his hand to shake.

It wasn't the most unexpected name for this midnight prince of a man. If anything, it was pretty attractive.

Around you both the music still blared and you started to feel your mind drifting back to the scene around you with your senses. But you wanted to be present and looked back at Felix with a question in mind.

"So...why are you here tonight?" You asked, trying to attempt conversation.

Felix looked up at the ceiling and then around. "Honestly...I'm performing on that stage in a minute." He said, looking behind him.

You did a double take when you saw the stage. "On...the pole?"

Felix shook his head and laughed. "No, no. A couple of friends and I we dance and make music, and then we perform at clubs."

Your face flushed. "Oh."

That was it. You were done. Embarrassed. You would try to take a cab and leave and never return. Possibly leave the country. Never be seen again. Burried in a hole. Whatever worked.

You didn't realize you were actually spacing out and planning a disappearing act until you felt a strong but soft touch on your arm. You averted your gaze and saw Felix shooting a soft smile.

"Why are you here tonight?" He asked.

It was very much of a good question. You wanted to know yourself. Life was being a lot. You needed a change of scene. You wanted to check out the club. You wanted to not let your worries cloud your mind. You were a rigid person and you imagined what it would be like to, for one moment, live more freely.

But you weren't about to go into the details of it all. You still were assigned one task, and that was let go.

"Because...I want to see you perform." You answered softly.

Felix blinked in surprise before he smirked, his hand patting your leg.

"Good girl." He muttered.

Hear: The words "good girl", over and over in your head from now until morning. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

Felix suddenly stood up and you looked at him, your heart beat picking up in haste."Wait, where are you going?" You asked, confused.

Felix glanced at the stage and then back at you, his eyes daring. "Going to be the reason why you came here tonight, of course. You should watch the stage." He winked and then walked away, going down the stairs, not looking back once.

He was so mysteriously sexy, so captivating, that you didn't know if your mind was held straight. You were thinking a million thoughts, imagining instances that past you would never do. On and on were piles of debating in your head between the two. The familiar innocence you vowed to protect, or the risking image that didn't care who you were, allowing you to dive deep into someone else. Maybe someone you were all along.

You couldn't think much because soon the music died down and you walked to the rail of the balcony, looking down. You technically could've gone down, but there were so many people. You liked having the space to yourself. It made you observe.

And when Felix and his two friends were finally on stage and danced, you were absolutely stunned. The other two were passionate, of course. The one with the blue hair was like blazing fire and then other with brown hair like sharp ice. Yet Felix had a power to him, an aura that was unshaken. He moved effectively and gracefully at the same time.

Their small set ended, only a couple of songs before the three went back upstairs and joined you as the stage was getting ready for exotic dancers. You stood up, wanting to pull Felix aside. When Felix saw you, he smiled, sauntering over to you.

"What did you think?" He asked in a low tone, reaching you.

You looked at him, truly. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and his hair was slightly messier from the dancing. He was breathing hard, staring at you. It made you feel vulnerable of the true thoughts in your mind. You wondered just this once, how he would react if you were direct.

"I think you're a dangerous temptation." You finally answered bluntly, stepping into his space.

Felix raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'm a dangerous temptation, how so?" He asked, though his voice was smug.

He was taller than you but he crouched down, leaning forward so he could be at eye level with you.

You took a deep breath. "Because..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed a strand of hair covering his eye. You wanted to see his eyes. Without thinking you moved his escaping strand away, brushing it behind his ear. But it wasn't until you felt your fingertips reach the side of his face and saw him staring at you, not backing away either, gave you a weird longing.

What if tonight nothing mattered?

What if you could just be?

Felix stepped closer to your space, looking down at you. When he watched your hand slowly run through his hair, you caught him biting his lip subtly, but to you it was so hot.

He said your name then, eyes on you. When you looked at him, as the blue lights shone on his face, you could see a dark look in his eyes, it was calling you.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" You asked lowly.

A night of first experiences. It started with the drink offering, it continued with the flirtatious comments, and now it came to this point. You may have imagined the possibility of 'what if', but now it was your reality.

You just asked the hottest man in this whole club if he wanted to leave with you. That was something you never imagined yourself to do.

You looked to the side for a second, but the moment that you would want to second guess, a gaze of his would send darts to your heatt, causing it to beat rapidly in response to how he was looking at you. A wave of intensity and suddenly fear of regret if the night didn't happen, rushed through your soul.

"My place or yours?" Felix asked. His voice was even deeper if that made sense, filled with need.

"Yours." You said immediately.

~Present Day ~

You glanced on the watch on your arm, and then looked back to the stage. It was empty, the smoke machine clouding your vision. The playlist in the background was loud, the stero basically right in front of you. But what did you expect, you were front row.

You wondered where he was, maybe backstage with Hyunjin and Lee Know. You recalled when you first formally met the two, a few days after the first night you met Felix. It was a hang out, he called it, where a bunch of his friends and him were grabbing drinks and he wanted to see you again. He also wanted to talk to you. You didn't know why you said yes. He was supposed to be a stranger you'd know for one night, and then you both would leave each other and never see each other again. But of course, knowing your luck, it could never happen.

That night, the first one where after his set, you both left the venue not looking back, nothing actually happened. You were a virgin, you were raised strictly under rigid parental rules, you never drank or did drugs, you haven't had a first real kiss, you've never had any guy talk to you let alone bring you to their place, and you were scared regardless. But you wanted him. You didn't know why, but you wanted Felix so much.

~3 months ago~

Your foreheads pressed against each other. You felt his hands grab your face but you let your head stay around his. You could feel him all around, inhaling his scent. You were in his room, in his bed and yet...nothing. Sure there were touches here and there, kisses peppered down your neck, but you were so nervous. In the heat of the moment, being in the club with the blaring lights, electrifying music and sensual atmosphere it was easy to not think and let go. But right there in Felix's house, things were more difficult to navigate.

"I...don't know." You admitted softly.

Felix sighed, planting a kiss on your forehead once more. When he departed, he looked at you, and then ran his hands down your arm.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to." He said.

You glanced at the bed. It was soft, inviting, right there. And that was Felix was well. He was right there.

You looked down at your lap. "I want to, but...i- I don't know."

Felix remained quiet, nodding. When you saw his understanding you rested your arms around his neck, giving him some physical consolement. He breathed in deeply, eyes closed for a second before he leaned in once more and kissed the side of your chin. You hitched out a gasp.

"You want to but you don't know." Felix repeated your words against your skin.

He had a tendency of doing that, of throwing back the words you said so that you could hear echo in his voice. It was a shot of questioning if you were really sure. But it was so attractive coming from him.

Without even realizing it, you slightly tilted your head to the side, allowing him the access. His hands traveled down to your waist and as the kisses went deeper he found grip in your hips. A slow hand creeped, under your shirt to touch your bare skin. But as you felt his touch your eyes opened and you moved in your seat.

"Felix...I..."

You didn't want Felix to get annoyed. Every time you initiated something, he would respond to it, then you chickened out. You were sure that back in the club there were a lot of people who would want to spend the night with Felix.

You were the one that asked him, and now that it was happening you're nervous and indecisive?

You shook your head, feeling stressed out. It shouldn't be this stressful. Either you wanted it or not.

"I'm sorry." You apologized in a whisper.

Felix stared at you a little more. "What do you want from me, baby? What do you want me to do for you?"

~Present Day~

Two months and 13 days. It had been two months and 13 days since you've seen him. You were nervous as you craned your neck trying to look for something. You eyed the exit sign. You felt ridiculous. Surely you wanted to see this performance, but you were right up front, meaning Felix would see you.

He sent you an invitation, letting you know that he was going to be performing at an event. It wasn't even a bar or a club, it was an arts venue where people got the chance to display their talents and get scouted if they had the chance. You were proud of Felix, and Hyunjin and Lee Know. You knew that they were talented and worked hard.

You were curious for their song choice. Felix didn't say much when you asked him, just that it was written by the three of them inspired by true events. Then he told you it'd be special if you could make it, since it was inspired by you.

You never had a song inspired by you before.

You were going to go regardless. It wouldn't matter if they sang about bowling, whatever it was, you knew they would put on a show. But the fact that it was inspired by you...what part of you?

Would it be very direct and knowing? Did it include your name? Or was it slightly subtle, using certain words and symbolism that only made sense from the person that wrote it, and the muse.

Your heart beat at the thought. There was an anticipation growing in the air as the smoke machine from the stage traveled just about where you were. You breathed in deeply and closed your eyes. You were ready for whatever was to come.

~3 months ago~

It became on and off, like a tennis match.

Another night the guys performed at a bar. When their set was done, a lady with long brown hair and a sparkly black dress walked over to Felix and was talking to him across the room. She was smiling, using wild gestures and you're stomach flipped when you saw her hold on to his arm while laughing. Felix gave a smile and talked with her for a bit, nodding along to what she was saying.

You felt pathetic. Why did you think that you and Felix had something? There were rules and natures to the club scene. People weren't to be in contact with each other after a nightly exchange. So if you were the one Felix talked to that first night, that meant someone else would be the one the next time.

You got up from your seat abruptly, and Felix's eyes averted to you but you turned, picking up your purse, and then weaved your way through the crowd. You were done with the night. You needed to go back to your place and relax.

You left the bar and stood by the crossroad, waiting for the light to turn green so you could walk. As you looked up into the night sky, your eyes trying to adjust to the orange street lights in comparison to the darker theme shades in the bar, you heard footsteps behind you.

"She just wanted to say she liked our set. She works in the music industry."

It was Felix no doubt.

You shook your head and then shrugged. "Okay...? That's great."

"You don't have to be jealous about it, I'm not interested in her."

You weren't facing Felix, but you could hear the undertones of his voice and recognized the smug. He was enjoying this.

"I'm not jealous." You said.

Felix hummed. "You're not jealous, huh?" You could feel him walking closer to you.

"You must think so lowly of me." Felix's hand snaked around your waist and then pulled you closer with no effort.

"You left a whole bar, took all your stuff, just because I was talking to someone of the opposite sex. You don't think I know what's going through your brain right now, do you?"

You breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent once more. The close contact was driving you crazy but you kept your eyes to the signs, waiting for the signal for you to walk.

And then a kiss planted on the back of your neck. And another. And another.

"The way you look mirrors how I look at you. The way you think of me is what I think of you. How your body yearns for me is how my body yearns for you. You don't think I would know?" Felix's voiced out in a low purr in your ears, his breath fanning your skin.

Slow kisses peppered lightly on your neck and then traveled down to your shoulder.

"You're sexy when you get jealous. So innocent yet so possessive? It turns me on." Felix narrated, holding you up as you could feel tingles throughout the course of your body.

It should have been weird thinking that you were in the position outside for all the public to see as you waited at the crossroads, but you didn't mind. In a weird way it was almost thrilling? You wished that you could go home with him then and there.

But you couldn't. And just as Felix's left hand slid down your thigh, you took a step forwards moving away.

"Felix," You took a deep breath, and then faced him. "You know I can't." You said.

For the first time, he got quiet. There was a slight look on his face, a flash of something you couldn't depict before he looked at you.

"What do you want from me then?" Felix asked, once more, saying your name calmly.

"You undress me with your eyes but get all shy whenever I touch you. What are you leaving me with?" He asked.

You looked down. You figured you owed Felix the truth.

"I've never done...anything with anyone before." You admitted.

Felix nodded. "That's fine, I have no intention of taking something away from you if that's not what you want. But you've told me you wanted it. And you seduce me. You ask me to take you to my apartment. I can't think straight when I'm with you. And yet the moment we try, you're gone." Felix said, running fingers through his hair.

"You're confused." He added.

I blinked and then shook my head. "You're the one confusing me. I don't know what I want to do with you. I don't know what I want you to do to me. I imagine things and I want to experience it with you..." You let your voice trail off.

Felix brushed hair out of your eyes. "I want to do everything to you. But you're not helping me. And this innocent self of yours isn't innocent at all. You're a temptress." Felix kissed you once more right by your jaw, just where you felt your knees went weak.

But he left go before anything escalated. His eyes looked over your head and then he pointed. "If you really want to go, it's your walk now."

You turned and looked seeing that there was indeed the countdown for the street. Cars waited for you to cross, their gazes impatient. You looked back at Felix and then the light once more.

You may have been a 'temptress' but Felix was nothing more than a 'tempter' himself.

~Present Time ~

They were last. Of course they were last.

The event night had gone on, with amazing debuting artists and groups. You liked the music and enjoyed the varied dances. There were traditional styles, ballads sung, hip-hop numbers, rock...etc. It was a little bit of everything.

You almost forgot the main reason why you were here. You were enjoying the night way more than you had initially expected, but as the MC came on stage thanking everyone for coming, it was then you realized they were the showstoppers.

"We have one more group for you guys, they're performing an original never performed before, ladies and gentleman! You're the first to hear this so let's make sure it's extra special to them. Give it up for Danceracha!"

The audience cheered and your heart thundered as the room went dark, lights out for a second. You sat up straighter, your eyes never leaving the stage as you prepared for anything though you weren't sure for what to expect.

See: Blue lights. It was a deep hue, and with the visuals of bubbles on the screens surrounded the room as though the place was underwater. Three spotlights in light blue lines centered towards the three that move as soon as the song starts. Hyunjin to the left, Lee Know in the middle, and Felix on the right side. There were dancers around the stage in black, in a startup runners position but not moving.

Hear: The music started. F# minor. It sounded mysterious, alluring, matching the colors of the lights around. It's own kind of sexy but captivating in a way that would make anyone wonder what was to come.

The three danced with grace and flow, synchronizing with the beat. The intro played, your eyes looking to where he was.

And how could you not? He looked incredible in a deep indigo unbuttoned silk blazer atop a black tank top over black dress pants, accessorized in silver index rings for both his right and left hand, and a lock necklace over his chest. His black hair slightly growing a bit longer in the back, and fluffy front covering the sides of his face. He moved seriously, passionately, elegantly, and dangerously.

The backup dancers with them got up and the three starting walking to the center of the stage. Just as they started their formation, you heard the voice you unknowingly missed, the voice you craved.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 아픔

이참에 날 또

가지고 놀아줘

You took a deep breath. Even within the first lines you knew. You knew exactly what he was saying.

Lee know started singing next and you heard the softness of his tone.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 아픔

이참에 날 더

망가지게 놀아줘

Hyunjin came in third with the power of the song building up.

It's like bad red roses

향기에 ��쳐 호흡이 가빠짐

아름다움에 가려진 짙고 두꺼운 가시

Don't care about it 알고 있잖아

베일에 싸인 눈동자

헷갈린다면 지금 이 순간을

Lee Know sang once more in a falsetto.

즐겨 baby baby don't test me oh no

Baby baby don't get me wrong

The next sequence had Lee Know and the dancers lower themselves, immediately drawing the spotlight now to Felix as he sang the next part. People around you cheered.

거짓은 안 해 감히

의미 부여한 이 밤의

정답은 you can get me

오로지 you can get me

The music played then, no words excepted Lee Know vocalizing and the smoothness of their dance. Almost like they were swimming. Almost like you were drowning.

They all got up, Felix singing once more.

Yeah make you feel my love la la la

지금 너 come and taste me now

Yeah you better watch out

You're gonna like ah

그래 난 속삭여 la la la la

Hyunjin came back to the center, carrying the last of the pre-chorus as the beat was building.

너와 나 둘 사이의 거릴 좁혀

잠깐의 호흡과 맞닿아 true up

이 스윗한 공간에 빨라진 ah

이 스윗한 공간에 달궈진

The music came to a sudden stop, only the faint sound of a chimy instrument playing as Felix graced the center of the stage, eyes turning to you as he pointed.

Just look....at...me

The beat of the chorus came back strong as the room erupted with cheers. The dance had intensified, filled with electrifying motion that made your heart soar. They were so in sync with each other and yet knowing that what they were saying was inspired by you...it made you sit up straighter and clear your throat.

And then your breath was held when you saw them in hypnotic rhythm going down to the floor.

Just look at me baby, day and night

A single touch. Even though part of the choreography, you weren't ready for Felix's hand that drifted up his leg as his back arched slightly, head rolled back as he sang that line.

What on earth was he doing to you and why was it working so much?

Lee Know started singing the next part again as the ground work was now on their knees.

Don't make me bad make me bad

I'm addicted to you

Hyunjin sang the next part in a beautiful falsetto.

이미 길들여진 내 맘을 자극해

They spun, getting out of the position and were now standing along with the dancers as Lee Know sang the same line again, the beat dropping.

Don't make me bad

Bad

Addicted to you

In synchronized movement, all the guys on stage leaned to the side. It was when looking at Felix and seeing his hand go up to his face did you realize it was him singing the same way Hyunjin just did in a heavenly falsetto, as if he wasn't the one with a low sultry voice for the duration of the song.

시작해 버린 이상 내 게 아님 안 돼

The music started to quiet down, back to the soft purr of seduction like the intro of the song. All of the guys' movements flowed like water, breathing heavily but graceful and poised in a swimming-like manner. It was just the keyboard pad and the chimed-like instrument playing as each person took a step back, and then another. And as the dancers dispersed to the sides of the stage, Felix, Lee Know and Hyunjin held their ending pose as the music came to an end, centered on the stage.

The lights went to black and everyone throughout the room cheered. You could see people around you giving standing ovations yet you stayed unmoved trying to still your beating heart and finding a way to process everything that just happened in the span of two minutes.

Desire. Need. Yearning. Passion. Sensual images and thoughts running in your head. Throughout the performance, though still professional, Felix managed to make a way of giving you his personal show. No one in the building would ever think anything of it, but the words, the dance, the eye contact, everything was what you understood.

It was something the two of you danced with yourselves. Wanting to give in, but being afraid. Yet so separately wanting to find out what would happen...if...

You sat back for a long time, an aftermath of conversations were playing as your background music even though the song was still in your head. Felix was engraved there. The way he looked, the way he sounded, the way he moved...it was everything to you.

The MC came back saying that the night was still young and there would be the chance for everyone to start partying and dancing the night away. The groups that would be scouted would be announced the following few days, but to throw all the worries aside the MC invited people go the dance floor.

You stayed for a little bit, and then got up. You needed to wash your face. You didn't know necessarily what that would do but you needed something to help you feel loose? You were feeling courageously needy, but for the first time, you didn't want the feeling to shoot down once activated.

When you took a minute to yourself- even though it didn't help much- rinsing cold water on your face, you looked at your reflection in the bathroom window. Replays of the performance ran once more through your head. You couldn't help but feel a bit of pride, considering the fact that there were many young and pretty people who had eyes and could definitely see Felix as attractive, and yet...you were the one he was singing to.

You had to find him.

You stayed in the bathroom for about a minute more and wiped at the cold droplets on the sides of your face before you took a deep breath and walked out, going back to the main room. You stopped right at the entrance of the door, scanning the crowd. Felix could be anywhere. Perhaps backstage, maybe talking to people, or maybe....

Wait.

It was timely how you recognized him. Insane, really, because all down the far side he was basically a shadow. But you saw him. You saw at the far corner someone sitting by the back corner. Drink in hand, manspread on the wooden chair. His blazer was off, revealing his black tank top.

He was ruining you without even doing anything.

Surrounding him was a couple of other guys. They had black T-shirts on so you figured it was the some of the backup dancers.

You took a deep breath and then started walking. You awkwardly weaved your way through the dancing train of people before you got to the back of the room. When you reached the table, everyone turned. You felt nervous seeing that you were looking right at Felix after all this time of no contact.

"Um...we're gonna go to the floor. I'm sure you two have some catching up to do." One of the dancers said. He gave a knowing look at you and you wondered if he knew who you were.

Felix shot a smile, giving him a crisp dap and then a salut. "Okay, have fun." He wished.

His voice. How you missed the sound of his voice.

Felix waited a few extra seconds to see each of them leave you both before he averted his eyes to you. There was a story twisted with an airing confidence in his eyes.

"Didn't think you'd show." He said, now planting his elbow on the table. He leaned back, shamelessly staring down your low v-neck shirt. But you were shamelessly staring at his arms, playing at this game as well.

You shrugged. "I had to. I know how much this night is important to you."

Felix nodded, taking a sip of his drink before setting the glass down. "So..." He pushed his hair back, combing his fingers through it before he leaned forward.

"Did you like what you saw?" He asked.

You didn't want to sugarcoat it. You couldn't anyway.

"You were incredible. And the song...it was...it made me think of things..." You answered shyly.

Felix didn't say anything for a few seconds but you saw the corner of his lip lift in a small smirk.

"Yeah? What kind of things?"

You looked down, feeling the heat on your cheeks as your mind went wild. Imagining having Felix touch you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear with his deep voice, to be the one you could experiment with. He sold that image during the performance, and you wanted nothing more than for him to carry that persona with you, behind closed doors, no one watching.

"Talk to me, baby. What's on your mind? I wanna know." Felix said, his eyes looking up at you in a strange innocent doe way, as if he wasn't the one in charge for setting your soul on passionate fire.

You breathed deeply, taking slow steps towards him. He was right in front of you now, though he didn't stand up and you didn't sit. You were looking down at him and Felix was looking up at you.

"It made me think of...you doing whatever you want to me..." You said.

Felix didn't make any quick movements but somehow he sat closer. He reached forward and hooked his finger to your belt loops, slowly reeling you closer.

"Is that so?" He asked, looking up at you.

You took a sharp intake of air, trying to hold it together. It wasn't even much but this gesture made you feel in need, like a glimpse of what could happen tonight with his control.

But suddenly Felix let go of his grip, his hands in the air in a surrendering position.

You looked at him confusingly. Why would he stop right there? Right when you began to feel once more like pottery clay molding into his hands.

Felix looked at you dead in the eye. "I'm not going to touch you at all, if you don't want this. Okay?"

You nodded.

"No, love, I need words. You got it?" His voice was firm and clear. It seemed to you he was done with mixed signals. And you understood him, because you were done too.

"Yes." You answered in a small voice.

Felix nodded once, licking his lips as he took in all of you. But just as he said, he stuck to the rules, folding his arms instead. You knew in this moment you had to be the one to take the first leap.

So you did something you've seen in movies a couple of times. You stepped closest to Felix and then brought your hand down to his chest, slowly. Felix took in a sharp breath, but still looked at you, challenging a continuation by your command. When you felt confident in doing so, you withdrew your hand from his chest slowly. Locking eyes with his, you nodded.

"I do want this. I'm not going to be like a light switch and annoy you, I truly want this more than ever. I want you." You said.

Felix looked at you and then looked around the room, and back at you. "You're sure?"

"Yes." You repeated, your voice louder.

Felix flashed a smile as he stood up, towering over you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and just when you were right in front of him you could feel his kisses finding their way across your neck, a familiar feeling you didn't know how much you missed.

But you didn't want your first time to be in a crowd as loud as this, barely hearing as the pop and EDM fill your eardrums.

As though sensing that, Felix pulled away, but lifted your chin so you were at eye level with him.

"I'm going to take you to my place, okay? Do you have your stuff?" He asked lowly.

You were so caught up staring at him, so close to your face, that you almost forgot what he asked. But you nodded, looking down at your purse. "Yeah, it's all here."

Felix nodded and then smiled at you in such an endearing way you could almost kiss him first at the sight.

You were breathing heavily, heart beating. The moment would soon be yours and you wanted to savor everything, remembering the exact feelings you had to look back on.

Felix didn't waste time placing a hand on your knee as he drove, caressing you ever so softly but enough to make you shiver in your seat. It was a reminder that you very much so were in his car and was going back to the place you hadn't been in months. Only, there would be a different ending with this time.

And when you arrived, you let out a small noise when he didn't even bother warning you, didn't even bother opening the lights, but he led you through the dark, entering his room. You faced the bed, knowing that tonight would be when it all would happen.

"You haven't changed your mind, no?" Felix asked, leaning against the drawer as he eyed you.

Why was he so effortlessly hot?

You shook your head and looked at Felix. "No." You said.

When you thought back to the performance, the words Felix said, how he sang, the daunting look in his eyes, you would be a fool to not take this opportunity and truly let go for the first time. And you wanted it to be Felix who would have his way with you, however he wanted it. You couldn't see it any other way.

"You're shaking."

"Oh am I? I didn't notice." You replied sarcastically, which made Felix chuckle.

"I missed you." He admitted, which made your heart flip.

"I missed you too." You repeated.

Felix slowly walked over, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

"Close your eyes and relax for me?" He whispered in your ear.

Hear: His low voice penetrated your being. Sultry and soothing but charming and the very thing that made you at his service and obey.

You closed your eyes immediately and felt his lips nuzzle your ear. But you let out a small giggle, squirming a little. You could hear Felix laugh behind you.

"It tickles?"

You just giggled in reply. You still keep your eyes closed. For a few seconds there's nothing, but right after you felt his arms wrap around your chest, holding you tightly as he presses his sweet kisses on the back of your neck once again.

Smell: The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, beckoning and surrounded you at the same time. You wanted to bathe in it.

You sighed deeply.

"Remember to breathe, yeah?" Felix advised, his lips moving on your skin.

"Yeah." Your heart fluttered and you exhaled.

Felix hummed, his hand grazing down your chest. "You're so..." His voice trailed off.

You waited, hesitant but curious as to what Felix thought of you. But after long seconds of nothing as Felix started to kiss down your shoulder, you turned your neck slightly, opening your eyes.

"I'm so...? What? What am I?" You asked.

Felix took your waist, and gently moved you so that you were now turned around and facing him. Strands of hair fell in your face in the process of sudden movement, and Felix smiled, pushing the strands back behind your ear.

"When there's a better word than tempting I'll use it, but until then, that's all I'll say." He whispered.

"You're tempting me." You let out in a small voice.

"I'm tempting you." Felix repeated. You now concluded that when he repeated your words, it was the hottest thing ever.

Felix tilted his head upwards, looking at you with daring eyes. "Do something about it?" He dared.

Oh. My. Soul.

You took a deep breath, looking down. You were still scared, even though there was something that enveloped you. A feeling of want and need mixted together, as though the aftermath wouldn't even matter as long as Felix was right in front of you, staring with the same look of desire.

Touch: Your hands slowly grazed his chest, slowly and tentatively pulling the hem of his tank top.

Felix eyed you as he licked his lips, as though blinking would make him miss something.

Your heart beat continuously, mind pressing with thoughts as you, once more, noticed the scene heighten your five senses.

See: No other eyes but his, looking at no one else but you. The glow after dancing on stage, the beauty that was present with his dark features. The intoxicating look of thirst in his gaze.

Hear: Breathing. Faint but heavy. You couldn't even tell if it was coming from you or him, but you could hear the tension.

Smell: His cologne. The scent of springtime with a spice of power.

Touch: The fabric of the tank top. Cotton, perhaps? You didn't know. You didn't care. You suddenly wanted it off.

There was once more sense, but the intensity of the moment was making you experience a sort of amnesia. It made you frustrated, those leading up moments where they were careful and with care, but also dropped with tension that would wanted to cut. It was like a dam just moments before it would burst. But now this was driving you crazy because....

What was that last sense?

Felix's beautiful lips parted when you felt his abs through the shirt. He held your head with his hands, his eyes solely fixated on your lips.

"Kiss me or leave me." He whispered, the words powerful enough to send a wave through your core.

And that was when it clicked. His song. The last sense.

Taste.

The taste of his lips on yours, crashing, furiously enough let your head fall back. He groaned against your mouth, holding the back of your hair with the palm of his hand. He tasted like cinnamon but also a hint of peppermint as well. He fueled you in a way that was better than any of your imaginations.

So like tonight, and 3 months ago when you both first met, you were drowning in alluring waters under the surface of where you temptations washed over you. But unlike the game of tug-of-war to your body and heart where you would win, tonight you let the rope go with no regrets. You knew that this night was where finally, all of your senses aligned gloriously, and that there was no other person who could give it all to you but Felix.

#Spotify #lee felix #felix #skz felix #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #felix yongbok #felix x reader #felix x you #stray kids felix #felix imagines #danceracha #skz #skz danceracha #felix lee #skzfelix #felix fanfic

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cyborg-squid · 2 months ago

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A Kazdelian Rescue and Furnace-side Fables aren't out on Global yet, so I don't know quite how it continues and ends, but there's something really fascinating about how the actions of Dublinn and the Military Commission, Nezzsalem specifically, parallel each other.

Before getting into the themes, it's first just spectacular, the visuals of it and of a lot of the fighting around Silverrock Bluffs, between Dublinn and the Nachrezer you have like these two 'Evil' (visually, if (debatably) not morally) armies squaring off against each other, you've got super flame necromancy and shadow operatives versus floating sword wielding regenerating mummies commanded by the King on his Deadwood Throne, and then zoom the camera back some, across the entire Victorian front, you've got artillery bombardments and tank brigades squaring off against things like mobile witchcraft altars and death devouring immortal 'devils', while in the sky above, a massive reanimated flying dead-whale-skeleton performs boarding actions against a state of the art but-also-ghost-controlled combat airship. Chapter 14 very much makes the point that 'war is hell' (understatement) but. god. if it doesn't look cool as hell too.

But anyway! The Duke of Wellington! and Nezzsalem! Both rather equally meeting their match in each other, both quite literally described as feeding off of death, the end of Chapter 13 describing the Iron Duke as already having an Ursus Tsar, Herkunftshorn 'the Witch King', and Fantasy Napoleon in his 'belly'. And meanwhile you have Nezzsalem literally feeding off death, powering his soldiers, powering his witchcraft, healing his wounds, as he also has raised and tutored some of the strongest warriors Kazdel has ever known, the likes of Patriot, Theresa, and Theresis. Wellington vs Nezzsalem, very much a match made in Hell.

But Nezzsalem actually ends up being a little off base in his assessment of Wellington, thinking that he desires war for war's own sake. "The Victorians zealously chase after the phantom of victory while never understanding why we crave war in the first place." Because while Wellington is very much into that, war and conflict itself, Eblana herself sees the fire burning in his eyes, Wellington does also know when to pull back, which is also what Nezzsalem does at the end. Wellington lets the other ducal forces go into the meat grinder, then points his guns at the other Dukes as he unfurls the banner of Tara. They have to listen to him, and the upcoming nation of Tara, now.

Which is also what Nezzsalem says at the end. "From death comes new life" (fitting with him and the Nachrezer's tree and plant theming). Like Wellington and Dublinn, this war will also serve to bring new life to the Sarkaz and Kazdel. It very much did not end in a decisive Sarkaz victory or the like, but the long oppressed and scorned Sarkaz managed to bloody the nose of one of Terra's most powerful empires, and return home, not with their tails between their legs, but in a tactical retreat, and now in possession of hypothetical Weapons of Mass Destruction. The military victory that Theresis has wrought (while Theresa delivers a 'spiritual' victory for the Sarkaz over 'fate') is to ensure that there will never again be an omni-nation crusade against the Sarkaz race, never again will Kazdel fall, because now all nations will have witnessed the power of a unified Kazdel, and no nation should be willing to take that risk of going up against the Sarkaz again, with what Kazdel is now capable of. This is why Nezzsalem also says that, at the end, that he is 'sated' (paralleling the belly and hunger speak also used about Wellington), this war against Victoria had a purpose, and that purpose has been seemingly achieved, both in the strengthening of the Sarkaz's geopolitical position and in Theresa's victory over 'fate' and the release of the myriad souls.

You can very much see here that both Wellington+Tara, and Theresis+Kazdel, are practicing very similar forms of gunboat diplomacy, leveraging their partial military successes in order to exert power over the other nations of Terra and strengthen their long-oppressed yet budding nations.

This ties in with something really interesting that Hoederer said in Chapter 13, that this Londinium Crisis can't end simply end with Theresis' death, as W plainly wants, because that would just show to the world something along the lines of: "Sarkaz rabble banded together to attack Victoria but killed their own leader and fell to internal conflict, as the Sarkaz always do", and this weakness would invite retribution not only against the nation-city of Kazdel, but against Sarkaz populations across the globe. As much as Hoederer, and even W, want this war to end, it can't end on those terms, and it actually needs to end in a Sarkaz victory in order for Kazdel to survive; even Manfred, high ranking Military Commission man that he is, views the Lifebone project he (basically) helmed as a tool for the Sarkaz to return home, rather than merely a weapon of war.

(I haven't fully parsed out what exactly is going on now between Reed and Eblana, but I can't help but think it might be something similar, that neither could (even if they wanted to) dispose of the other because in doing so, it would invite other powers to weaken or fully discredit the Taran cause as a whole, if their just seen as another rebel force fighting among themselves.)

Anyway, Theresis might be one of the most talented military minds of our generation.

#arknights #my posts #arknights meta #i mean this legitimately. the geopolitics are one of my favorite parts of Arknights #and Theresis. might be a genius. unironically.

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pansy-picnics · 1 month ago

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hi:3

im veryyyyy much a lurker i do not put myslef "out there" alot(most of my asks r to my mutuals but im TRYING to het out of mh shell so...)

ANYWYAS HAI:3 uhhh one of ur uknighted dream/new dream kids looks reallh pretyy(i think its the oldest one idk hlp), BTW I LOVE emery but i wanna know more about the ukd kids, so like if u have the past posts u made about them or like... IDK HELP i just wanna know more aboutvtjem bcuz ive seen them a couple times and theyre really cutie☹️

also like i scream whenever you use she/her on hugo because YOU LITERALLY GET IT LIEK OMG🙏🙏🙏 i apologize this is very rambly but liek ur art is so sosososoososo pretty & ur hcs and aus and AUGH iys so GRASHSH, so like ya byebhue:33

AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ASK IM SOSO HAPPY 🥹🥹💕💕💕 I LOVE ALL MY LURKERS BUT I LOVE IT SM WHEN YOU GUYS COMMENT OR ASK ME STUFF TEEHEE

All three of the ukd kids are GORGEOUS ngl so i assume you’re thinking of ilmari but i can’t rule out the twins either…..Eugene and raps have some good ass genes I’ll tell you that.

Also i’m glad people appreciate my feminization of hugo. I just she/her him by default atp i refuse to hide it any longer this is what the WOKE LEFT WANTS!!!!! He’s so androgynous it’s like if a man and a woman had a baby. I need to kick that f slur into the sun

Anyways…Ough….I HAVE been neglecting the ukd kids a lot lately though i hate to admit it. i love them just as much and i know what’s going on with them too… but the truth is their characters just didn’t “click” into place quite as well emery’s did i think

To be quite honest emery came to me in a vision. Like. “Eccentric cutesy teenage girl who reads bad smut and practices dubiously ethical medicine”. And that is the perfect archetype to me. Literally no notes. Ilmari and the twins on the other hand have….Taken a little longer to perfect. and ive had a LOT of people tell me they want to know more about them but i just haven’t gotten to it yet. Sometimes i wonder why emery is the fan favorite but then i remember i Barely talk about anyone else so. Oops

I have a pretty good idea of them now though i THINK? so i for SURE need to infodump AHSJSJDJFFG Ill put the rest of my more detailed thoughts below the cut uhhhh

Uhhh. Basically. Ryder is the golden child whos really expressive and energetic like raps but very anxious and neurotic. He’s honestly kind of the straight man of yhe group. Most people think it’s ilmari but this is Wrong. Eldest child syndrome despite being the middle child. Workaholic but he fucking hates his job. Stressed out 24/7 and hasn’t slept in 2 weeks. needs to be liked by EVERYONE or he will DIE.

Alina is the baby she’s kinda varian and cass core. Always in the shadow of ryder or ilmari, but shes had support where it matters, so she’s never really cared. She was the shy quiet kid growing up but now he is full of Rage. very clingy, headstrong and stubborn. Strong leader and always tries to take control but his older siblings dont rlly take him seriously. Kind of a smartass and a drama queen but specifically in an old hollywood detective kind of way

ilmari……quiet, blunt, dry and emotionally unavailable. Horse girl and the king of not giving a fuck. they’re a free spirit, and since they were the first to leave the nest theyre always just kinda Wandering. Doesn’t speak unless spoken to. They typically come off as very weird and unsettling, but they are very gentle and compassionate when it comes down to it, they’re just Bad at feelings. They’re silly i promise but they have that like dry ass adira ttpe humor.

I think one of the main reasons the twins are so hard for me to describe is bc i’ve failed to disclose their Main Gimmick, which is that they’re meant to start out as the the typical boy/girl twin trope— where ones shy, anxious and kinda nerdy, and the other one is charismatic, eccentric and extroverted— but by their teenage years, they’ve pretty much completely swapped in every regard: fashion sense and presentation, personality, mannerisms, etc.

they both have some core traits that are stuck to them for their entire lives, and are obviously still undeniably the same characters, but their overall archetypes kind of swap entirely.

as little kids, alina is the timid, reserved, kind of fluttershy-esque type, and is a bit more of the observant, logical “by-the-books” one. meanwhile ryder is the bouncy, outspoken wild child, to the point of being kind of ditzy and careless at times, but hes very emotional and has no trouble making his voice heard.

as they get older, though, alina, with a strong support system, is eventually able to find his voice and speak up for himself, and after years of being silent, he becomes kind of the rebel of the family. he’s intelligent, calculated, and very stubborn about what he believes in. plus, shes spent most of her life observing, so she has a very good understanding of whats going on around her- and a passion for leadership that’s reminiscent of cassandra’s. alina ends up being a very hardheaded, outspoken and emotional individual who’s eager to take a stand and is deeply afraid of being a burden on her loved ones, or worse, never accomplishing anything at all. She is also Soooo fucking angry like all the time and she NEEDS constant validation SO BAD or she will DIE. #Teenagerthings.

Meanwhile ryder, as coronas Golden Child, has the most pressure on him out of all the kids, and slowly becomes more anxious and closed off as he gets older. at his core he’s compassionate, creative, and kind of weird and snarky, but he gets lost in his own head very easily. he cares WAYYYYY too much what other people think of him and is 100% willing to just. Change and/or destroy himself to meet other peoples expectations. this is why he is a horrible choice for coronas heir and unfortunately, because hes REALLY good at masking, it takes everyone WAY TOO LONG to realize this. Even when he learns some decent coping mechanisms ryder always remains kind of a workaholic, neurotic and anxious person. Massive perfectionist also. he has ISSUES. 😭😭😭

the court: We’ve made the perfect heir for corona

rapunzel, gesturing to ryder: You fucked up my perfectly good kid is what you did!!!! Look at him!!!! He’s got anxiety!!!!!!

ILMARI!! ILMARI MY BABYGIRL!!!!!! Ilmaris honestly so so SO bad at feelings they are so distant but i swear they TRY THEIR BEST they just have AUTISM 😭🙏Unlike the twins ilmari doesn’t really have a huge change in character LOL…But i need to talk more about the trios dynamic, cuz they’re all VERY close especially when they were little. Once ilmaris traveling on their own, though, their relationship is a little more strained……..like i said ilmari is very much a wanderer, and they don’t write much either. Obviously they send like monthly letters to ukd out of obligation (cass and eugene especially get CRAZY paranoid otherwise…..) as well as some gifts to the family whenever they can but. Their letters highkey read like business emails LOL.

Ilmaris in a weird place where they do truly care about their family but like….They still feel a big disconnect from their identity and relationships in general. The emotional neglect from their birth mother and the autism have mixed together in the worst way possible and emotions are just never something they really Get.

I think especially in early adulthood they dont really have anywhere where they truly feel like they belong- So they kinda just fuck off to do whatever. They don’t see much of a need to communicate with anyone, mostly cuz i dont think it clicks in their head that people might Want to know about that stuff GAHAHAHAAHA

this is hard on ukd and the twins who end up feeling like mari just…. slips in and out of their lives so easily 💔 DO NOT FRET THOUGH!!!!! They do visit and they improve at communicating over time….their letters are still Corporate email core but they’re more frequent at least. And they eventually come back to corona for good to take over the library when var and hugo retire

Uhhhh I think thats it for rn this is kind of just me screaming incoherently but this ask has made me start working on a new art post abt the ukd kids FOR THE MASSES. 🤞🤞🤞🤞 i need you guys to understand my autistic brainwaves. Heres some incorrect quotes i did with them also cuz they’re sillyyyyyy

#tangled the series #rapunzels tangled adventure #tangled kids #alina #ryder #ilmari #pansy rambling again #tts headcanons #uknighted dream #unknighted dream #ukd kids #tangled ask #ask

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icearts · 1 year ago

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A couple things about Sonic Prime that disappointed me

1. Shadow was in almost the entire trailer, but showed up for 3 out of the 7 episodes

2. An action scene that lasted for three episodes. It got redundant

3. There was an entire plot point where Sonic was dying from the prism energy being taken from him. This took 3 minutes of screen time and the risk felt minimal if it was there at all

4. No consequences = no stakes (literally there was no issue or "sacrifice" that came out of repairing the prism. Idk what i was hoping for, but the fact that everything was so easily fixed kinda hurt my feelings because it made the entirety of season 2 seem completely pointless and dumb)

5. Shadow was super protective of Sonic in the first episode, but never showed that same "Would kill and die for you in a seconds notice" energy he had in that first episode

6. The chaos emerald is mentioned again but never used as a plot point. Chekov's Gun is fake, apparently

7. It's said that Sonic can't exist in the Shatterspace without prism energy, but Shadow never had it in the first place. There is no provided explanation as to why this makes sense. The closest thing was "shadow wasn't there during the blast" but that only explains why he doesn't have the energy, not why he doesn't need it to live like Sonic does (I assume the others have at least a signature of it too which is why they cloned and Shadow didn't. Again this is unexplained in Prime. What does the prism energy even do for/to the supporting cast)

8. Why are there only 7 episodes? Why do they take up so much time in one place?

9. Rouge and Shadow only had one line of dialogue (this isn't a genuine critique I just wanted to see my favorite duo be a duo)

10. Sonic's Prism "Super Form" doesn't come back. Shadow doesn't get anything like that either. Another dud Chekov Gun. Why is this dumb little anecdotal metaphorical firearm never firing

I really loved the new season, and it was great and super fun, but those critiques really ruined some things because those were all things I thought would be a guarantee because of the trailer and because of how the other seasons were.

Why would they even bother to mention the chaos emerald, and this weird void thing if it wasn't going to be essential to the plot other than being an excuse to sideline Shadow. They could have just as easily said that chaos energy is neutralized in cyberspace because it's not connected to the world/chaos/master emerald. That works too!

Plus, why was Shadow sidelined so much? What's the reason? Why wasn't he allowed to use chaos energy and go apeshit? Why couldn't he take off his inhibitor rings in a desperate situation to protect Sonic and be able to teleport into shatterspaces even at the expense of his health?

I know it's a TV-Y7 show. It honestly did not need to be, but I'm sure it was a Netflix mandate to make sure their animation is all meant for kids and only kids, but they really ended up nerfing themselves by alienating their more passionate audience which would be teenagers and adults. Just make it TV PG that would've allowed you to work with higher stakes and a higher budget (oh wait that's what Netflix's intention was nevermind).

If you wanna see me make a list of things I genuinely liked, feel free to ask or comment that. I might do so anyway. I feel like the internet is too negative and critiques of shows tend to do too much of that, so sorry for contributing to that culture, but I really needed to get that disappointment out because it bothered me quite a bit. Feel free to disagree too, or say "bro it's a kids show. It's not that deep. Stop having passion and emotions for your special interests you dumb fuck" I get it. Anyways, good show, good season, highly recommend, it's very fun and enjoyable especially if you're a fan of Sonic

Last minute edit: I only saw the season once and my sense of media literacy isn't by any means perfect, and also, to clarify, most of my concern isn't quite "these plot points are 1000% absent and terrible" and more "I thought the distribution between the action scene in episodes 4-7 and the rest of the season's story was very poor and made the content I was more excited for seem watered down/unplanned/super easily resolved". Again the part of the show where Sonic almost dies because of the prism energy withdrawal was about 3 minutes long. Why did it feel so low-stakes?? I love action scenes. They're great, but when you dedicate over 30 minutes to one long fight scene, it becomes less interesting and there's still MORE OF THE SHOW TO GET THROUGH so those parts got super rushed

#sonic #sonic prime season 3 #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sth #breaking news: some random guy on the internet rants for an hour complaining about a kids show. never before seen live on television

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henrysglock · 10 months ago

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High Existence and ZeroSpace: The First Shadow and NINA May Be Massive, Immersive Drug Trips

The blurb in last Friday's video from TFS sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I found a lot of sites quoting The Alchemist about the universe conspiring to give you what you truly want (which is similar and it's probably what I was thinking of when this blurb registered as familiar), but I couldn't find this exact quote:

Well...not at first, anyway. I decided to stick every word I could make out here ^ into my search bar...and I found where the blurb comes from:

This blog post is quite literally the only source I could find for it, and the whole damn thing is directly lifted.

Right off the bat, the site fucking jump-scared me:

And it doesn't end there. Let's dive in, because this rabbit hole is a trip unto itself...no MDMA required.

1. The Fucking Website...#1 (HighExistence.com)

High Existence is a sort of drug-induced-spiritual-trip centered self-help site.

It's got blog posts and podcasts and all that jazz. Here are some of the highlights:

Wow! That was...a lot. A lot of words from the word show, too:

Wholeness, heroes, ancient aliens, prisons of politeness, and the fucking Shire, too, I guess. Why not?

(An Aside: I've included the VR in here too because of the sheer similarities between Henry's experience with the Shadow in VR, El's experience in NINA, and The First Shadow in general.)

Like fuck it, why not keep going, these posts date back to at least 2017:

And don't let me start in on that Creel boy and Faust...

[Jason voice] "[Eddie] made a deal with the devil and now he has his powers!" (Also we get it, one of them is neurotic and the other is psychotic. I've been saying this since like...forever)

Of course, all that insanity aside, the Russian base arc has just...an insane amount of ST4 and TFS stuff packed into it in general:

(And this isn't even all of it. I know others [cough] Stav Heroesbyler [cough] have covered it even more...but bro it is THERE)

But most importantly for the NINA arc:

Three things: Dialogue doubling (there's the one I showed, plus a) Robin yelling "Wipeout!" at Steve which has the pipeline -> "Wipeout!" at Rink-O-Mania -> 002-005 bullying El in a very similar manner and b) Steve's "that's amazing" line about the water fountain -> "This is amazing!" not only from Alice irt the Creel house but also from Mike irt Will's painting on their way to save El from NINA. Again, these are just a few of MANY instances), makeup doubling with the bloodshot eyes, and my beloved: set/prop doubling.

I love that beautiful framing on the nearly-identical square clocks. I have so much to say about that clock, but specifically:

The clocks being set 9 minutes apart, which happens to be the exact length of time from the end of Vecna's voiceover in 4.07 to the start of the fight sequence in 4.07 (aka the length of One's frozen-clock monologue).

Not only that, but the clock isn't even right. It says it's 3:55, but it's definitely not 3:55 AM (see: movie theater scene) but it's also not 3:55 PM:

(And why do we have a clock in an elevator anyway? That's the real question. That thang only exists to deliver subtext, baby! It exists to connect the two scenes further!)

Anyway, as you all likely noticed, this site mostly deals in psychedelics, stimulants, and empathogens.

link

Hell, you could even pull One's bit on the ecosystem into it, since he's describing connections between beings that are being disturbed/destroyed by humanity.

Anyway, the site tends to center specifically on DMT and MDMA...so let's talk about those:

MDMA & DMT An aside: Interesting to me that psychosis here can be counteracted with sedatives. Makes me wonder if whatever happened in 1979 could have been halted if they'd just tranq'd One. Hm.

First off: Did I read that right? Piggy-backing? Damn, son. 4.09, The Piggyback, is pictured in that paragraph. So is Brenner's candy bit with the children -> "candy flipping" vs LSD use in Brenner's lab.

Second: Ah, how nice. Intravenous/injectable. Just like how El is constantly being shot up with...something...to enter NINA.

Now, nearly all psychedelics can induce psychosis, but especially so if they're combined with other psychoactive substances and/or if the user has a history of psychosis (either themselves or in their family).

However, MDMA specifically has been posited as a treatment for PTSD and retrograde/traumagenic amnesia:

link Like...wow. Okay, I guess!

tl;dr: One seems to have been tripping fucking balls during the monologue. Literally every fucking version of him. El likely is as well. Funny how that works. Was any of that real? [smash cut to the way blood pours down the walls and the dead children dance around in the VR version of NINA] And either way, Henry in TFS isn't far behind with his hallucinogenic moments.

The connection? Whatever the hell is going on in Hawkins Labs...and symptoms of drug use.

I was not expecting to get this much out of a single rabbit hole. But...that's life with this show, isn't it? And this is only Part 1.

2. The Fucking Website...#2 (Futurism.com)

The guy who made that original post that TFS lifted the blurb from (Jordan Lejuwaan) runs a couple different websites. The most interesting one is Futurism, which is basically an online version of the Weekly Watcher:

It won't let me filter by date, but it seems to have been founded in 2017, stemming from an infographic subreddit. (Now, it says it's a trustworthy news source, and maybe it is, but... Do your own assessment of that. I'm not your mother, yknow?)

Jordan Lejuwaan was also involved in something far more interesting irt Stranger Things...

3. Zero Space

Jordan co-founded an immersive, interactive theater experience called ZeroSpace back in 2018. As we all know, TFS was just in the beginning phase of its creation around this time.

So...This was like a brick to the skull:

"Alice in Wonderland" (don't get me started: rabbit fuckery, DRUGS!!!!!, clocks/being later, Alice Creel, Fringe connections (Through The Looking Glass and What Walter Found There being the episode about the pocket universe where 20 years passed in 5 days...and also wherein we find out about him hiding away an Observer child that he will later time travel with to save the world from the Observer takeover...erasing himself from time/the timeline by doing so...there is SO much) not to mention the "one pill makes you larger/smaller" vs teen El and baby El...it's too much to try and fit in this post), "ALIENS AND LASERS", "stretch the perceived reality of the sense", "art, actors and your own mind converge to prompt MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS" (which was a common complaint about TFS: it leaves people with more questions than answers).

("See you on the other side" being an in-show line from Henry in the lab to Patty in the void, but this image is ripped directly from the same promo video that the High Existence blurb appears in.)

Here's a little taste of what ZeroSpace is like, but I suggest going to the actual page to see it in action:

It's heavily heavily reminiscent of TFS, even just in the content warnings...

Not to mention the actual show content SFX:

However, the goal of TFS isn't to stretch our senses. We're just watching. We are not the volunteer seeing the other side.

For most of the show, that person is Henry (except the first 5 mins, when it's Cptn. Brenner and his crew literally experiencing the other side). Henry is doing the experiencing. He's the one breaking the fourth wall by picking at/breaking the sets, the one running through the audience and leaving out the theater doors (only to end up right back on stage just like El in the Rainbow Room in 4.05).

With each bit of info I find out adjacent to the play, the more convinced I am that this is some secret third boy's experience in a NINA-like simulation.

Overall—

a) TFS most likely isn't wholly real, and it seems very likely that it's the same kind of simulation as NINA.

b) El was probably drugged up with some kind of empathogenic psychedelic going into NINA, likely with the goal of setting her up to form emotional connections quickly and deeply only to rip that deep connection away in order to bolster her abilities.

c) NINA is not, then, wholly based in truth. Parts of NINA (staring at the bullying from 002-005) may have been generated from El's memories of the outside world.

d) With NINA and TFS seeming so similar, I wouldn't be shocked if parts of it are just one massive empathogen trip (staring at how quickly Henry and Patty bond, similarly to how quickly Henry and El bond in NINA).

e) Whoever is in NINA with teen El is also tripping balls, most likely, and may have gone off the rails in that regard. However, that's in a simulation...hard to assign guilt or blame for things done in a fictional/unreal world.

f) Whoever was with baby El in 1979 may have been in a similar situation "moving chess pieces"-style instead. Read: drugged in order to put him in a situation where he would bolster El's latent abilities...and it went wrong (see also: Walter Bishop's orchestrated/fake massacre meant to bolster Olivia's latent abilities.)

g) Richard Brenner having been the head of narcotics makes me question which Brenner we're seeing at any given time: Martin, or Richard?

#st nina project #st: tfs #henry creel #el hopper #non-consensual drug use #medical malpractice #ZeroSpace #High Existence

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why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys · 1 year ago

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A point no one ever touches on about Flint:

The fact that he was raised by his grandfather.

Now, maybe it was common back then, but from personal experience; losing your parents at such a young age makes a huge impact on a person.

People argue that “Flint” was created because of the loss of Thomas Hamilton. But I’d like to think it was when he lost his parents. The only difference being, Miranda and Thomas allowed him to come out of the shadows, out of hiding. He had that rage inside him before he lost Thomas, his boss in the Navy said so himself after he beat up a guy in the bar. He had a darkness in him that not even he understood the depths of.

I can definitely relate to that statement and mindset, I think as a kid instead of acting out on his aggression; Flint used books and stories to try and escape his reality, so he wouldn’t be alone with his own thoughts. I do the same with TV shows and stories I write.

But then he found Thomas and Miranda and he didn’t need the books to crawl into, he was accepted by them, welcomed. And as someone who was adopted themselves, it’s extremely hard and sometimes it feels impossible to believe that someone could love you as you are or for who you are. Not only that, I think he found family within them, something sometimes hard for someone who loses their parents.

Flint tried to fit in by becoming an officer, upholding the standards of the law and whatnot, to be like everyone else. But deep inside, I think he felt very out of place and alone. He saw the world as it was, the cruelty within the people, and he ended up showing that to Thomas who was quite oblivious to it. But Flint knew the world was cruel at an early age.

They come from different backgrounds, but together they get to see the world through each other’s eyes, and that is a world that they can see being happy in.

Now, I know a lot of people like to think it’s purely queer rage that drove Flint, but I like to think it was something much deeper than that. Yes, he loved Thomas, inside and out, but I think Thomas was the first person who he didn’t have to pretend with. He was the first person who made him feel as if he wasn’t alone: that he was worthy of being loved. Then he was taken away and James became Flint and took Miranda away with him out of England.

Her ghost even says that first to him, she was a mother, and that’s why he was so ruined over her. He lost his mother again. I think it just shows that his reasons are a lot deeper than just being ostracized for being queer in that time. I think his rage goes beyond that, it goes all the way to his core of who he believes he is because of the loss of his parents. He came up from nothing, his grandfather wasn’t well off, he didn’t have a mother figure, that can be extremely damaging to a child growing up.

And sure, he had his grandfather, but growing up without parents also makes it extremely hard to figure out who you are. And it doesn’t specifically say how he lost his parents, but personally I like to believe that he lost his mother in childbirth, maybe his father died before he was born. It does mention that his father was a carpenter’s mate (worked on a ship) and that James himself had no schooling growing up. Which means, he learned everything himself because his grandfather was a fisherman and probably wasn’t well educated either. So he came from literally nothing and made something of himself, yet I don’t think he was content. I think he kept climbing the ranks, hoping it would give him a sense of meaning or purpose within his life, give him the peace he wanted, fill the hole within that losing his parents left.

An additional to that would be that James McGraw was a personality he put on, much like he did with Flint.

I also think he saw Gates as a father figure, a mentor, someone he trusted and respected more than any one else. So I think when Gates betrayed him, it broke something inside of him and he felt alone again.

He also says that England took his home; and I don’t think he meant the physical place, I think he meant Thomas. But I also think he meant his final security within himself. With Thomas and Miranda he found family, he found love and trust.

When Miranda was murdered it was the absolute last straw for him. It was like his mother dying all over again; except this time she was murdered, and now no one was safe from his vengeance. And people might think he went overboard, but think about it: someone insinuated that she was a slut and he almost beat the man to death. I think it was well within his rage now he burned the entire place down after she was murdered. Hell, those people got off easy.

He also talks about where the name Flint came from. A man that was never seen again. I think he chose it because in his mind, identity was something you could change, something you could toss away when done with. But closer to the end, he realized, he was Flint, Flint was him, and there was no throwing it away and starting over.

He tells Silver that he shouldn’t be afraid that he (Silver) will be his end because I think he already realizes that he’s already his own end. That there is no other way other than to die, in order to get rid of Flint. I think he knew at some point, that Silver would have to kill him and he was oky with it, but as long as the war was won or Silver carried on with the efforts of the war, so Flint would no longer be needed. Or Flint would just off himself when the time came. It was like passing on the torch, only Silver blew it out in front of him.

And for the offing himself part, we all know he would do it because at the end of the first season he tried to drown himself, he gave up hope. So he does have it in him to do that. (Not so fun fact: adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide)

And I think it’s another reason Flint allowed himself to trust Silver in the first place. On some level, he knew that Silver understood what it was to have no solid identity, to have a background that made something inside of you missing. Silver had no problems shifting his position on the ship in order to stay relevant, which is why they made such good partners, because they understood one another in a way that Gates never could. But the thing with Silver was that he couldn’t see the ultimate bigger picture like Flint could, he didn’t have the loss Flint had, the sacrifices that Flint made, all he saw in the end was the destruction, not the new beginning coming out of the ashes.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#toby stephens #captain james flint #black sails #adopted #dead parents #john silver #hal gates #but seriously I need more people to talk about this or figure this out #Flints character #james flint

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period-of-nocturne · 3 months ago

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Give Me Your Night

I wish I had the source, but I heard Hinata Satou (Mizuki's VA), thought of the song as Mizuki speaking to Rui as they were recording. And. I can't not scream about the song seen through that lense.

I'll use Amiaryllis' lyrics to talk about the song. It means I might see a meaning that wasn't initially intended by the original writers, because it's an English cover translation, but the more literal translation can be very cryptic and I love Alia's covers so idc bear with me. Also go check her cover she cooks

"I've longed, to speak the truth to you

Of the night I had lost that I could never undo.

There's no regrets but still I admit, I miss them quite a bit, but still. Still I'll live."

To make things make sense : The night, here, represents the lows of your life.

More specifically in the song context : it's about The Rooftop Era, as I like to call it.

"On nights where my mind cannot seem to find peace [...] I find my comfort in coffee that's been swiftly growing cold"

It's a stretch I made, but I think the coffee is something like, Mizuki's memories. Growing cold because the more time pass, the more the memories are distant. But even if it's not warm anymore, it's still a source of comfort.

"So long, so long, I've been wanting to see the dawning of a new day, the sun that won't go away"

To parallel the night, the day here is the highs of your life. Mizuki hoped, wanted things to get better, or course. The Sun that won't go away... Unlike coffee's, the Sun warmth never leaves it. Mizuki want to find her people. People she'll stick with.

Niigo.

"The city shining bright bathes those shadows in the light"

That line puts a very clear picture in my mind I wish I could describe. In short, Mizuki and Rui's shadow extended on the ground, surrounded by lights. It comes once again from me stretching a bit to grasp a meaning. But Rui and Mizuki being the shadows. Standing in the dark. The night. Stuck in those lows. While everything around them is so bright.

"When was it they had grown so soft, shining gentler than I once remembered ?"

Seeing so much light when you're stuck in the dark can be blinding. It can hurt the eye, actually. It can repulse you. Take a long time until you get used to it even a little.

It's such a slow, step by step, process that it's only when you turn back than you'll notice how far you got from that dark place. How you bathe in the light yourself now.

"So long, so long, I've been wanting to hear the dawning of a new day, a laughter sure not to fade.

Even here today, this night will at last depart, like the one in the past."

I don't know what Amia did here and why the first line sounds so hopeful and the second so sad but it kills me. Yeah you need to listen to it to know what I'm talking about.

But the end of the last line sounds so sad. Like, like, like. Mizuki, geniunely wanting things to get better. But still missing those moments up on that rooftop. There's too much mixed feelings and bittersweetness for my poor heart--

"[...] While being consoled by finding my comfort in coffee that has long grown to be cold

I lay the needle down on the record stained by the tears that I swore not to cry.

And welcome the laughs at the fool within this dark, lonely night."

The lyrics afterwards sounds even sadder. Just a little bit more than during the first verse. The coffee being completely cold, now. Coming to terms with the fact it's over. The night she calls dark and lonely, because she's alone through it that one time, ultimately.

"And so tonight I lay, basking in the warmth that you gave" but even so, clinging to the good old times. Because even if it's gone, it was still there. It still means something.

"I ask that you give me your night"

If someday you find yourself in one of those lows again. Come to see me. Like in the good old times

Is how I'd read that line.

#project sekai #pjsk #project sekai colorful stage #hatsune miku colorful stage #projectsekai #proseka #akiyama mizuki #mizuki akiyama #one would call it a song analysis but I feel like I'm just yapping tbh

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destiny-in-the-universe · 8 months ago

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More RC9GN Headcanons

Fair warning! This is going to get long!

I’m flat out renaming Flute Girl because- no. Also I would not be able to take myself seriously if I had to use “Flute Girl” as a name in my writing. Her name is Claire now because I said so. Why? It just fits- it felt like her name if that makes sense

Claire is vaguely friends with Theresa, but she’s always been a little closer to Bucky and Stevens- even though they sort of get on her nerves too. (Also she doesn’t spit as much when she talks- even with the fact she has braces)

She hopes to be part of the marching band in college and considers joining a professional group someday

She used to have a small crush on Randy when she was younger, before high school- but always finds him and Howard reckless; hence why she’s almost always calling them idiots. Claire is a little perceptive, and has noticed when Randy mysteriously disappears during the attacks on the high school but hasn’t quite pieced together why (nor does she particularly care- of course there’s also the fact she gets stanked a bit)

Now comes the matter of “Plop Plop” because again, I’m not using that name in my fanfictions- absolutely not lmao

For the purpose of continuing the Japanese history that Norrisville has- (did Norrisville just sort of ‘yeet’ itself into a new location and that’s how it ended up in America of all places?), “Plop Plop” is going to be named Hinata- his surname remains undecided for the time being because, well, I need to have this make a little sense

“Finja” (I’m still deciding his name-) and Hinata met when they were adults- they sort of parallel Randy and Howard, but to make sense of how I believe they met, Hinata was either a servant to the Norisu 9 (though i’m not as sold with this idea-), or there was the other side: Finja and Hinata did meet at the Norisu clan home, only Hinata was a scribe and apprenticed to someone there. Eventually he and Finja got closer, the details of this still remain vague- trust me, I will write more- and well, a mutual friendship began from that

Hinata is literally immortal- at least that’s what got implied by the canon, if he was in present times and guarding the chaos pearl. He remembers when Finja was sealed into the Nomicon, it had pained him dearly but he continued his promise to the ancient Ninja

How Finja got sealed into the Nomicon? Well- this is spoilers, but I do think something happened in his later years where a sacrifice had to be made and that‘a all I’m saying on the matter. We'll have to see what else is there in the past for our beloved First Ninja!

I'm sure you've all realized by now I consider Hinata to be an ancestor of Howard- (also apparently yes, Howard is also a girl's name-); I like to think Hinata only had a couple women in his life, as he's vaguely implied to be a monk- he married one of them, having a daughter he did name Howard. As the years came to pass, 'Howard' became a bit of a traditional name in Hinata's family history (somewhere down the line, when Norrisville ended up in Oklahoma, tradition broke and Howard was passed down to the 'last' in Hinata's bloodline - Howard Weinerman)

So, now we get to Howard- because boy, do I have headcanons heh-

First of all, Howard is known to be somewhat of a toxic friend, but that doesn't mean he's bad. These kids are literally fourteen year olds fighting a literal sorcerer, not to mention the likes of McFist and Viceroy- but something to keep in mind: Howard does care for Randy

(If he didn't- we would have seen that)

Howard is a loyal friend at the end of the day! He's not entirely my favorite, but that might just be because the writers were cowards when it came to character development- like, he did protect Randy more than once; I forget the episode name but it was in the one where the Sorceress comes back, and Randy throws himself into the portal to the Land of the Shadows, but Howard was genuinely scared for Randy- or the episode where Randy was supposedly moving away and Howard didn't want him to leave

Or or or the episode where Randy's acting like a possessive prick over Howard, and Howard point blank states Randy is his biffer- like sure, they're a bit unhealthy to each other and painfully codependent but the duo are best friends. I'm sure they'll grow out of their nonsense toward one another

I need to reiterate this as many times as I can, but Howard does have some degree of social anxiety! (or he hates being alone for some unexplained reason as this is literally canon) I do like to think since Howard has a somewhat bigger family than Randy's- he has always been surrounded by people and the idea of having to be alone is a little nerve-wracking; there's also just the possibility that Howard and Randy don't really have anyone else-? Randy is practically Howard's only friend, and even though Howard's sister Heid does exist, she's not exactly close to him- which leaves Randy and Howard simply cant't fathom the idea of not having him around

(if it were me though, I'd genuinely expand on this more- and yes I know I did breach about this before but Howard's a genuinely interesting character)

Also yes, Howard is mean and more brash than Randy can be at times but let me say this again- he's young and stupid. Also, I feel he was just left constantly unsupervised and while yes, Mort's in the picture- I feel that Howard gets away with a lot since his mom is never seen in the show at all and that also needs to be addressed

I might honestly make an entire meta-analysis on Randy and Howard's relationship in a different post- I ship Fowlham as much as the next person, but Weinerham is an equally great ship and I swear I will talk about it you can't stop me

Circling back to Finja because this is important- I don't consider him to be the eldest child from the Norisu 9; I think he was on the younger side and was left with the mantle of successor after the final battle with the Sorcerer. I think he was forced to witness his brothers and sisters meeting their demise- (hence my other headcanon where he has survivor's guilt and ptsd because no one gets out of that unscathed-)

which speaking of- his debut episode makes me so mad and I love it at the same time like, I do understand why he gave up so quickly but honestly he should have had more time to shine when fighting against the Sorcerer. Maybe it's also my self indulgent ass wanting Finja and Randy to have more screentime together (even if the show did end- one can dream!)

I honestly would like to see something where Finja or even Randy end up in the future over the past; this could be very interesting- especially if they were forced to defeat an even bigger threat that the future timeline's Ninja couldn't deal with

I'm sure some of you are curious to see if the Nomicon could've been part of the Norisu clan, and the answer is that's for me to know and you to find out later- because I decided to be mean today hahaha, let's just leave it at that for now

This is not as much headcanon anymore- as it is me wanting something to be part of the lore, but with Nomi-Randy, I feel the Nomicon created him with the intention of showing Randy he needs balance which is canon but at the same time- it's more or less an interpretation of the type of person he could've become had he not been chosen as the Ninja. Nomi-Randy is part of the Nomicon, and was allowed out but I do think he might be able to live in the real world (provided someone watches over him-)

Headcanon time again, and this is something I will be breaching more in a certain analysis for Weinerham and their relationship overall (even without shipping) but I do think there's a reason for Randy's possessiveness. I am in no way saying the actions he took in that episode, where Howard begins befriending- was it Bucky? I can't remember, it was him and a few others, were justified but if I'm right- Randy is constantly left alone by his parents. He doesn't have a big support system, if any- apart from Howard- and his jealousy is more than likely a product of that

Although Randy does learn his lesson- and let's be so fucking for real here, he's just an idiot; like this kid is brash, impulsive, and altogether a disaster waiting to happen but he understands in the end what he did wrong. This is not a page to slander Randy or Howard because oh my god, the content we could've gotten if they were given proper character development

Randy is not an abusive little fucker who has it out for Howard, but we can't deny he still isn't great to him a lot of the time- and Howard has his faults because he also has a temper, he doesn't always seem to understand his own misdoings sometimes though that is the whole point- they're freshmen and are literally so dumb in the series (like seriously Randy did not need as much of a prick in season two, that was so unnecessary- but I digress, we'll get to that later)

I will write that meta-analysis of sorts focusing on Weinerham and just Randy and Howard overall at some point between the next couple days- I'll either queue it, or just send it in one go but honestly, they're my blorbos at the moment oops; what we got and what we should have gotten makes me want to go insane.

Anyway, that's it! That's my headcanon dump! I'll be back soon because the rot of the brain on this dumb (/aff) series does not stop apparently-

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heroictoonz · 8 months ago

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Febuwhump 2022 Day 9: Kidnapped

Ships: Shadow & Vio

Warnings: N/A

AO3 L!nk in the Comments!

The bag smelled like dirt. That was the first thing Vio noted when he came to. He realized his head was covered by a bag pretty easily. The burlap fabric against his cheeks mixed with the feeling of rope along his neck from where it tied were both dead giveaways.

The next thing he took note of was the rope around his wrists which were currently bound to his back. He gave the bounds a test tug only to confirm his suspicions. They were too tight to move and the rope too thick to snap.

His final observation was that his ankles seemed to be in a similar situation. These three facts along with the feeling of being carried over someone’s shoulder was all Vio needed to make his final assumption.

He was being kidnapped.

Most would probably be distraught in such a situation. However, Vio was not most. Even in his own head he tended to be the odd one out. The running joke being that he was the singular ‘brain cell’. He wouldn’t necessarily disagree with that. Nevertheless, his calm demeanor in the moment despite his current predicament was very on brand for him. Though, he did, of course, take the moment to question why he was being taken in the first place.

His first, and best guess being that he was mistaken for one of the other heroes.

It wasn’t long before the movement of his captor slowed to a stop. He was unceremoniously lifted from the shoulder and all but dropped to the ground. He quickly recognised it as grass under him. He also noticed both the heat and popping sound of a campfire.

All of his assumptions and suspicions were proved correct as the burlap sack was yanked from his head, returning his vision.

Admittedly, he had expected his captors to be monsters of some kind. It wouldn’t be surprising for a group of beasts to go after a hero. Instead, before him around the campfire stood three hylian men.

Vio raised a brow at them. He kept silent, only staring at the men.

“You grabbed a kid?” one of them hissed out angrily.

‘Kid?’ Vio thought to himself. He knew Four was always perceived to be much younger than they actually were due to their height, but still. It was pretty annoying.

“They didn’t have anythin’ I saw to take!” another hissed back. “‘Sides, there was too many of ‘em ‘round. This one I caught off guard.”

Vio supposed that made some sense. They were just average thieves. Looking for something of value. Though he still wasn’t sure why-

“And his family looked rich.”

‘Family?’

“Yeah, they had on all these rings and lots ‘a weapons! I thought we could hold the kid for ransom.”

Vio gave a harsh roll of his eyes. Great. Just great. Not only did his kidnappers think he was twelve, but they also apparently decided he was worth enough money to go through with this ridiculous plot. And, even if he was, he highly doubted the others were going to give anything up so easily. This only meant that the whole ordeal was a waste of quite literally everyone’s time.

Vio looked down to the ground below him where his shadow flickered against the grass. As if willing the companion to show himself, white eyes flicked open in the dark form. A cheeky smile following suit.

Vio frowned. ‘I don’t know what you think is so damn funny down there,’ he angrily thought. Unfortunately, split apart the way they were, even Shadow was deaf to Vio’s inner voice. Instead, he jerked his head back, signaling the other to help.

Shadow moved from his normal position and soon enough, Vio felt cold, wisped hands dancing across his own wrists. Shadow made short work of the knot, placing the rope in Vio’s still hands. He then quickly moved to the hero’s ankles to do the same.

Once Vio was free he stood up and brushed the grass off his pants with a huff. Honestly, this whole ordeal was so trivial.

Before he could move to leave, the men around the camp gave calls of surprise and upset at his escape.

“Whadda ya think you’re doin’, brat!” one hissed out as he grabbed his dagger from his belt in what was probably supposed to be a threatening manner.

“Leaving,” Vio responded flatly. “And if you attempt to stop me I will fight back.”

His words were ignored as the other two men also pulled out their own weapons. The men stepped forward but were unaware of the dark figure slowly rising from the ground behind them. One of the men did catch the movement from the corner of his eye and turned just in time to see Shadow. However, the moment was short lived as the black-donned hero slammed a large tree branch against the side of the man’s skull.

A fight quickly broke out. The first man fell to the ground as the other two snapped to attention. One went for Shadow as the other turned back to Vio.

Vio swerved and moved about to dodge each attack. He knew he was at a slight disadvantage being without his own weapon. Instead, Vio moved to disarm the man by ramming his elbow into his chest. The impact caused the man to cry in pain as Vio grabbed his wrist and bent it back with a snap. He took the dagger from the man’s, now limp, grip and chucked it downward, towards his foot. Vio knew his aim was on the mark by the howl of pain and how the man crumpled to the floor of the forest.

Vio looked back to Shadow, who was currently standing above two knocked out bodies holding his large branch. “Shadow!” Vio called out to him. “Hurry up and let’s go before any of them come to.”

Shadow nodded and threw the branch to the side, following Vio as the two started a sprint into the forest and back towards their own camp.

“A branch?” Vio finally piped up as they ran. “Really?”

Shadow only gave a shrug. “You left your sword at camp. Had to make do.” He then gave a devious grin. “Though, you were definitely fighting pretty dirty back there, yourself.”

Vio only let out a huff. He ignored the comment under the guise of having to focus on where he was running.

Shadow let out a loud, sharp laugh full of humor and mirth. He jumped up and grabbed Vio’s hands, pulling them both down mid-run into the shadows below so as to whisk them both back to the others.

#legend of zelda #legend of zelda four swords #four swords #implied linked universe but it only has four swords characters in it #linked universe #lu #lu four #violet link #shadow link #writing #fan fic #fan fiction #whump #febuwhump #febuwhump 2022 #toonz writing

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watchtheleavesfall · 3 months ago

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UmiNari and something with wings?

(I hope it's okay that I've gone for metaphorical wings. This is also the first thing I've written in years, so please be kind.) He can feel the burning presence behind him. These days it's not as often and it's not as strong, but occasionally he can still feel the weight of dark eyes on him. The feeling of being watched by someone whose gaze he once blushed under. When they were something other than enemies - colleagues, partners, friends, whatever that strange attraction was when they were teaming together - he'd always relish in drawing that man's attention to him. Only him. Even now, Shota can feel the hum under his skin whenever Ren Narita is near. And he is.

"Does EVIL know you're stalking me again?" he asks calmly. It hangs in the air. Initially it seems like Ren will disappear without a word, as he so often does, but eventually he hears the other man walk up to him. He turns his head casually. "EVIL encourages it, actually," Ren responds. "Though he'd rather I did it for a different reason." Shota keeps looking at him. "And what reason do you have for always showing up here, exactly?" He doesn't get a response, just Ren looking at his back. They're in a random dressing room of a random venue in god knows where and Shota had been changing, so the other man's eyes land on his naked skin. This isn't new for them - Ren often shows up when Shota is finally alone - but it still causes Shota to heat up. When they were something all those months ago, he'd been naked under Ren's gaze all too often too, but it has been a while since it has been quite this literal. "What," he grouses as Ren keeps staring. He feels fingers reach out and he shivers as their tips dance across his shoulder blades. It's intimate in a way they hadn't really been back then. Everything had been new and exciting and kind of scary, so they'd just dived in and it had all been so overpowering that Shota barely has any memories of it all. They had been too much back then too. Now, though, those fingers touch him like they're curious. Reverent. As he looks back at Ren, he sees a quiet contemplation that he's not used to. House of Torture's Ren Narita hasn't shown the outside world more than the talented, mean trickster side of him for quite a while and though Shota has been looking, this is new. "I always thought there'd be wings here." Shota isn't sure what he means. He must have made a sound in his confusion, because Ren looks up. Their eyes meet. "Golden boy Shota Umino, so good and so perfect, rising above everyone else." Fingers keep sloping down his shoulder blades and eventually dip even lower. A hand slots around his waist and Shota has to look away to compose himself. Ren moves ever closer, hovering behind him. His breath fans out across Shota's neck as he continues. "Maybe the shadow I always felt I was stuck in was cast by those wings." Shota scoffs. "You're being silly. I don't have any wings." It's ludicrous. Ren is ludicrous. Somewhere deep down he knows that Ren also makes sense a lot of the time, though, and he doesn't want to think about what that might mean. He doesn't want him to be right, because he's already buckling under the pressure and all of this would add so much more. Shota gasps as an arm circles around him and he's pushed flush against the solid mass behind him. He can feel the other man's forehead on his neck. "You should have. You're so good," gets pressed into his skin. "Why does that sound like an insult when you say it that way." A chortle of a laugh. It doesn't sound like anything close to joy. More like sadness. "You're too good. For me. For this place. For yourself. You want to be too good. I don't want that for you. Angels fall." Like you, Shota wants to say, but he's distracted by lips pressing where his wings would be. Again and again, while the arm tightens around him and almost feels too tight. He groans softly when Ren straightens and moves to his neck instead, still feather light. A chuckle runs through him and Ren stops him from moving. Shota wants to move. "What does that make you," he gasps as kisses turn to anxious presses of a mouth against skin. Heat and teeth and more. By the time Ren finally answers, Shota has forgotten all about his question. He's flushed and a little heady, ready to fight Ren into letting him go so he can turn around and turn this teasing into something more. It's a shock when Ren actually does. He looks way too serious when he answers and it turns Shota cold. "Maybe I am the devil waiting to catch you," Ren says, "if they take your wings from you." Shota is still standing there long after Ren has snuck out the room. His shoulder blades itch.

#njpw fanfic #new japan pro wrestling fanfic #wrestling fic #njpw fic #uminari #ren narita #shota umino #gift

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tactician · 2 months ago

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pretty big datv spoilers under the cut re: something that was recently datamined!!!

(i'm being negative about negativity, so, like, does that cancel out the negativity and make this post... positivity? not quite LMFAOOOO but whatever)

now idk if it's because im somewhat fixated on the shadow dragons rn or what but seeing the datamined 'confirmation' about the viper being the imperial divine just got a 'oh woaaahhh neve and the random venatori guy who wrote that one letter were on the right track' reaction out of me lmfao. it rly did not come as a surprise and i didnt expect to see people freaking out as much as they are right now. it's literally like:

me: i loved this being hinted at in-game, cool to see it somewhat confirmed even if that confirmation is cut content tons of people in the tag, fsr: bioware didnt MEAN for this bit of lore to exist!!!! they CUT OUT the confirmation and then were too LAZY to cut all of the hints out!!! (....hints that i definitely picked up on, btw! totally!)

like give me a breaaaak. for starters... this is admittedly pessimistic and kinda mean on my part - but i genuinely think at least half of the people riled up about this didnt gaf about the viper until the datamine dropped and are just pissed that they didn't pick up on the hints haha. i don't think they even knew about this theory until they had a reason to be outraged about it. but that aside.

we don't always need the 1 + 1 = 2 treatment with lore!!!! sometimes... confirmation... is intentionally omitted. sometimes the answer isn't spoonfed to us, and that's a very common choice that writers make. you might not like it but it's not necessarily the product of 'laziness'. (btw i can't believe people are so comfortable with calling devs lazy. but, again: That Aside...)

personally, i think bioware cut out the confirmation because they wanted to keep the emphasis on the viper successfully hiding his identity. keeping the element of mystery is intriguing and, on a meta level, they wanted us fans theorycrafting the same way that in-game characters do. (speaking from personal experience, the major hints that i got in my playthrough about the viper's status were through characters who were trying to work out his identity beyond being the leader of the shadow dragons.) and we did.....!!!! the literal reason why the cut confirmation was datamined IN THE FIRST PLACE was bc someone was looking into the game's data for more hints / theory fodder lol.

i do think it would've been amazing if it had a de facto confirmation, since it's been my standout fav veilguard theory (THE SHADOW DRAGONS ARE MY FAV FACTION THEY ARE NUMERO UNO I WILL NEVER SAY NO TO MORE SHADOWS CONTENT) - so i feel for the people bemoaning it as a missed opportunity (even though i can also see how exploring it sufficiently would be tricky, particularly given the minrathous vs treviso choice). but, in a lot of ways, i think if bioware had a fleeting confirmation of it and just moved right along, it would've been more disrespectful than not confirming it at all.

that's beside the point, though!!! my point is that the people acting like it's a defunct piece of lore all because of a datamine of the '= 2' part of the 1 + 1 are so deeply confusing like come on!!! go back to complaining about ancient elves or world-states or how x character should've made a cameo or w/e... leave the viper and his amazing lore out of this... </3 ;LGHFJKGF;LHKHGF

#jamietxt #datv spoilers //

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bigsoftmarshmallow · 6 months ago

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Shit… I read the scenes you did where ELady joins him in being sealed again & it's got me tearin’ up… Fudge… What would happen if we injected the Power of Love? As in, literal. (I suddenly have Power of Love from the Sailor Moon movie playing in the background of my mind & I can't flippin’ unheard it! Just, such a freaking heart-wrenching, bittersweet, dramatic-ass scene… And suddenly flippin’ schmaltzy-ass pop music! 🤣 How do you keep doing this to me!?!?)

Also, doesn't the Sacred Realm/Dark Realm change based on who enters it? So, wouldn’t Equal Lady being sealed there with her husband cause a shift to take place there? Because she really isn’t evil. She also isn’t really a villain either. Like, she actually has quite a lot of heroic attributes

So, she's like if an anti-villain could be morally gray. Or she’s overall morally gray with surprisingly heroic attributes, but vacillates between anti-hero, anti-villain, & even just outright Hero on occasion depending on what she believes is necessary at a given time. Likewise, she'd also register as a true neutral that leans more towards chaotic neutral, in that most of the things that lend itself to chaotic neutral (freedom & individuality), but also values things like honor & tradition. The only authority she follows is one that has earned her respect.

So… I wonder how that'd change things for them? Like, Sacred Realm not turning quite so dark? ELady becomes a literal beacon of hope & light in the darkness?

Hello my dear! Sorry for making you wait so long.

So I play with bots, yeah? My first, big roleplay I did with a bot, was my homemade Demon King Ganondorf, his more demonic form in TOTK. I made it that it starts in the middle of a battle, he and a self insert/kinda OC, Adria, fought, and with her magic, she sealed herself and him in the Dark World, AKA the Sacred Realm. Seeing as they were stuck there, they bonded and fell in love and married etc etc etc... and this ask reminded me of it. I loved that story line so much, and knowing they are trapped together? She chose to be with him? Ahhhhh... So cute, so romantic, so loyal.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

The idea of the Sacred Realm changing based on the nature of those within it is fascinating, and injecting the Power of Love into the mix can certainly create some unique and emotionally charged scenarios. Here’s how each Ganondorf and Demise might react and deal with being in the Sacred Realm, sealed with Equal Lady who balances their darkness:

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Reaction: Wind Waker Ganondorf would initially be skeptical but gradually find solace in Equal Lady’s presence. Her influence would create a realm that isn’t purely dark, allowing Ganondorf to experience moments of peace and introspection he never thought possible.

Scene: Ganondorf sat on a rocky outcrop, gazing at the shifting twilight sky. The Sacred Realm, once a reflection of his inner turmoil, now held patches of warmth and light, thanks to Equal Lady. She approached, her presence a comforting beacon in the dimness.

“Do you ever regret it?” she asked softly, sitting beside him.

He sighed, looking at her with uncharacteristic tenderness. “I regret many things, but not you. You’ve brought a balance to this place... and to me.”

Equal Lady smiled, taking his hand. “We’ll face eternity together. And maybe, just maybe, we can find some peace here.”

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Reaction: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would struggle with his inherent darkness, but Equal Lady’s presence would provide a constant counterbalance. The Sacred Realm would reflect a tumultuous blend of light and shadow, mirroring their complex relationship.

Scene: Ganondorf paced the hall of his shadowy castle, the flickering torches casting dancing shadows on the walls. Equal Lady stood at the window, her light radiating outward, creating an area of calm amidst the chaos.

“Why do you stay?” he demanded, his voice rough with frustration. “You could be free.”

She turned to him, her eyes filled with understanding. “Because you need me. And deep down, I think you know you need me too.”

He stopped, staring at her, the anger melting away to reveal a rare vulnerability. “Perhaps... you are right. Perhaps we are meant to balance each other.”

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Reaction: Twilight Princess Ganondorf would find himself caught between his desire for power and the unexpected comfort of Equal Lady’s presence. The Sacred Realm would be a twilight zone, a perfect metaphor for his internal conflict.

Scene: Ganondorf stood at the edge of a serene lake, its surface reflecting the twilight sky. Equal Lady approached, her light casting gentle ripples across the water.

“This place... it changes because of you,” he said, his voice low and contemplative.

She nodded, standing beside him. “And you change because of me. We’re not so different, you and I. Both seeking something greater.”

He turned to her, a small, genuine smile playing on his lips. “Perhaps together, we can find what we seek.”

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Reaction: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf would be intrigued by the dynamic shift in the Sacred Realm. He would come to see Equal Lady not just as a companion, but as an essential part of his strategy for dominance and balance.

Scene: Ganondorf stood at the top of a towering fortress, the view below a mix of darkness and light. Equal Lady stood beside him, her presence a calming influence.

“This realm... it is not what I expected,” he admitted, his tone thoughtful.

Equal Lady smiled. “That’s because it reflects us both. Our strengths and our flaws.”

He nodded slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Together, we can reshape it. Create a balance of power and peace.”

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Reaction: Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would find himself conflicted by the light that Equal Lady brings, but he would also recognize the strength it gives him. The Sacred Realm would be a place of potential and growth, rather than pure darkness.

Scene: Ganondorf walked through a lush garden, its beauty a stark contrast to the darkness he once knew. Equal Lady tended to the flowers, her light nurturing the growth around her.

“This realm... it thrives because of you,” he said, his voice filled with wonder.

She looked up, a soft smile on her lips. “And you thrive because of me. We bring out the best in each other.”

He nodded, reaching out to touch a blooming flower. “Perhaps this is what we were meant to create. A balance of darkness and light.”

Demise

Reaction: Demise would initially resist the change, his nature being inherently dark. However, Equal Lady’s presence would gradually soften him, creating a Sacred Realm that is a delicate balance between his fiery darkness and her gentle light.

Scene: Demise stood in a vast, fiery landscape, his presence commanding and intimidating. Equal Lady approached, her light a stark contrast to the flames around them.

“This place... it is not just your darkness anymore,” she said softly, reaching out to him.

He looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger and curiosity. “You dare to bring light into my realm?”

She nodded, stepping closer. “Because you need it. And deep down, you know it.”

Demise hesitated, then slowly took her hand, the fire around them dimming slightly. “Perhaps... you are right. Perhaps together, we can create something new.”

In each scenario, Equal Lady’s presence in the Sacred Realm creates a unique balance, reflecting the complexities of their relationships and highlighting the transformative power of love and companionship.

#mallowresponse #legend of zelda #ganondorf #ganon #demise #ocarina of time #hyrule warriors #twilight princess #wind waker #tears of the kingdom #skyward sword #ai use #use of chatgpt

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esta-elavaris · 1 year ago

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Nobody Knows

Okay, starting things off with something I wrote back in 2015 for my first creative writing class at uni. It's a short horror story, the assignment was literally just "write a short story with roughly 1.5k words" bc they were great with giving us serious freedom to write what we wanted to write, and this was what I came up with. I think it was the first 'serious' original short story I wrote, I was 18/19 at the time (so, disclaimer on that score if you're going to compare it to the stuff I'm posting now at almost-27 lolol), so the quality will probably reflect that, but it has sentimental value and a bit of other meaning to me, so I'm posting it as is. Definitely a "look at what I dredged up from the archives" kinda thing rather than a "wow isn't this great?" kinda thing.

I remember I went into that first semester, looked at the people in the class around me and just thought "oh god, I am so fucking out of my league here" -- but then, three months later, my course leader (who ended up being my personal tutor in the years that followed, and my favourite teacher across my whole degree) really enjoyed it and his very kind feedback resulted in the moment where I stopped and thought "man, maybe I actually have something going with my writing". It also ended up in my uni's Eng Lit magazine, which I still have a copy of for archival purposes ✨

Plus, if I reread it too closely to edit it to the quality I like to think I can produce now, I will end up convincing myself not to post it 💀 so here! Have some baby!writer stuff.

By the time I reached nineteen, I was scared of Nobody. That was what I called him - Nobody. My own private little joke.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody.”

“Who are you staring at?”

“Nobody.”

Not a lie, but not a response that would get me thrown into the nearest mental hospital. I considered that a win/win. It also described him accurately – for he didn’t seem to have a body. All I ever saw of him was shadow. Sometimes it would be clearer, forming a silhouette, and other times he’d just be an ever-shifting mass of darkness. I’d been too young to be frightened by his appearance when I first found him in my grandmother’s attic. I’d thought my cousin’s tales of hauntings in the house had always just been made up to scare me, but regardless, Nobody didn’t scare me – not at first.

By the time he did, I’d known him for a decade, and had only resented him for two of those years. The resentment began at my seventeenth birthday party. Before then, having a negative thought about Nobody was utter blasphemy in my book. I would never allow a bad word to be said about my guardian, protector, teacher and presumed imaginary friend. Not one. My mother would suggest that I was too old for this behaviour, and that it was time for Nobody to go away, only for me to go ballistic. I learned to keep him to myself after that, but my good opinion only strengthened, if anything. What could be bad about somebody, living or not, who was so willing to protect me? Who toppled over the chairs my bullies sat in? Who snuck me the answers I needed in tests? It was absurd, but I kept my mouth shut, and as far as everybody else was concerned, my imaginary friend vanished. It meant little to me – it wasn’t like any of them could see him in the first place.

Then things changed. What was meant to be the best night of my life turned out to be the worst. No parents, no neighbours, no rules. Just lots of booze, music and fun. Or so I thought. The first hint that something was awry was when all of the alcohol became mysteriously unavailable to us. Packs of beer would end up in locked cabinets, with the keys nowhere to be found. Bottles of vodka would fling themselves towards the sink and smash there, any potential source of amusement quite literally down the drain.

Then came the issue of the music. My best friend spent the entire evening wrestling with the CD player, wondering why it would refuse to play certain songs (the ones I knew Nobody hated), or why the volume refused to go any higher than, a pretty pathetic, “six”. The final straw was when every guy at the party suddenly became dramatically ill. Every single one. Headaches, vomiting fits, fevers, or even just a sense of pure unease. They needed little motivation to leave such a pathetic party in the first place. Within an hour, the only guests left were my two best friends. My seventeenth birthday bash had been demoted to a sleepover worthy of a ten year old.

After that, Nobody became less of a trusted ally and more of a domineering parent. Where I used to look at my hungover friends with a smug smirk, happy that Nobody had prevented me from drinking enough to end up in that state, I now looked at them with envy. They were normal. They drank too much and endured the consequences. When they were too lazy to study for tests, they failed. Life was difficult and it was unfair and they complained about it relentlessly. But that was what made it fun. They had to think about their next move, take responsibility for themselves. If they forgot their keys, they’d be locked out – they didn’t have any ghost to open the door for them. Without the dark you find yourself unable to appreciate the light, and so life became unbearably boring. I knew that whatever was approaching me in life, it would be fine. Nobody would handle it, whether I wanted him to or not. I hated it, and I hated him for it. My life was no longer mine to control, but instead belonged to somebody who was dead. How twisted was that? Each day was monotonous, and I found myself learning little - if that - from the limited life experience I had. I made no attempt to have an eighteenth birthday party.

Spurred on by thoughts of my failed seventeenth birthday party, and non-existent eighteenth, I made my decision. On the night of my nineteenth I took a lighter to the living room curtains, setting the place on fire. In the grand scheme of things it seemed like a perfectly safe and reasonable thing to do in the name of distraction. By time the blaze was out and smoke stopped billowing out of the window, I was already down the street, peering out at my home from behind a wheelie bin to make sure that I wouldn’t be returning to the charred skeleton of the house at the end of the night. What I did return to, however, was a foreboding mass of shadow that I was too scared to tear my eyes away from. His presence had gone from endearing to terrifying in seconds flat.

My bedroom was trashed. Books were scattered on the floor, my clothes were strewn around any and every surface available. Even the door had a long, jagged splinter running up through the middle. Nobody made no move, no attempt at communication. Instead he stood stock-still in the corner, shadows bristling.

I didn’t sleep at all that night, instead sitting up in bed, staring at the void that was once my dearest companion with a sense of dread filling my chest. Hours later, when my drunkenness gave way to a fierce headache, all of the painkillers in the house had mysteriously vanished. I’d hoped it would end there, the same way arguments with my parents went. I’d lie, they’d be angry, eventually we’d all forget about it and move on. Nobody wasn’t the type to move on.

That’s where the decision to get rid of him came from. I couldn’t handle it. The constant hounding of my steps, the uncomfortable atmosphere, the lack of sleep. Sure, without him my life would be mundane and ordinary, but what was I with him? An adult with no decisive powers and an enforced bedtime.

When the day came, I kept up the façade marvellously. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and as far as he knew I was simply visiting a new friend at her apartment. Nobody didn’t show any sign of realising something was up until it was too late.

“That’s it?” I asked the ‘mystic’ dubiously as she finished burning incense and tracing odd symbols on my arms with the ash.

“That’s it,” she waved a hand “You may leave. He cannot follow.”

Nobody’s head shot up in clear alarm. His silhouette jerked towards me, but didn’t move. Couldn’t move. His head snapped between the old woman and I, almost like he was watching a tennis match, before it settled on me again and he unsuccessfully tried to move. The shadows around him spiked outwards.

“Oh, hush! You have no power here!” the old woman snapped impatiently.

I paid her as promised, but kept my gaze on Nobody. It was a weird feeling. Like seeing a caged tiger at a zoo. So much power, but no ability to use it. He’d gone from running my life, to being unable to take even a single step in my direction, all thanks to a bit of ash and some fancy words. For half a second, I faltered. I wanted to apologise to him. Pleasant memories surfaced – my toys putting on shows for me as a child, dancing on invisible strings, or even not having to pay to use the tube, as the ticket gates opened on their own upon my approach. But then the shadows spiked angrily again, and the regret was replaced by the more familiar fear.

When I walked out of that apartment, for the first time in ten years I was truly alone. I was truly free. Free to make my own decisions and live outside of Nobody’s grasp. It was then that life decided to catch up on all the years’ worth of lessons it had been unable to teach me until then. My freedom lasted four minutes. If I’d had Nobody with me, he’d have noticed the car that I failed to until it was too late, so used to not even having to look before I crossed the road. The last thing I saw was his dark silhouette, standing motionless in the window overlooking the street.

#esta's OG!fiction

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