#and also it's good to stay humble I have a tendency to be a little conceited so it would be character building too yanno? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jesterofcringe · 3 months

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hellooo!! It is I, the totally not suspicious anon❗️❗️ may I humbly request Caregiver Lottie helping a little one who has tantrums? Throwing toys in such. Maybe because reader has to go to bed? ty!!!!!!!! :3

Cranky Kiddo Caregiver!Lottie x Little!Reader

anon i could not be happier to write this for you ive been having the craziest cg!lottie brainrot omfg :3 also again sorry this took forever,, finals and everything but im finally done!! so fics will prob come out faster from now on 😋 ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

★You had a bit of a tendency to bottle up your emotions. It was a huge problem and you knew that. You honestly were working on it because you hated when you had your mini outbursts, but you couldn't help but to have a little tantrum from time to time. 'One step forward, three steps back' you called it though 'gradual progression' was the term Lottie liked to use for it instead.

★You were really happy to have her. She was so patient and calm anytime you had one of your little meltdowns. You always anticipated anger that never came, instead being greeted by gentle words and soft hands.

★One of your strategies for tackling your frustration was coloring. To be fair, it wasn't exactly your idea, more of Lottie's suggestion. Whenever you had a crappy day you drifted off and drew a little picture until your frustrations melted away with the crayon you dragged across the page.

★"Can you come to the table and finish eating please? You can play after."

★Of course, you didn't really like discussing when you had a bad day, so it wasn't Lottie's fault that she didn't know that's what you were doing as she called you to come eat. But that didn't matter because you were little, and frustrated, and holding a box of crayons.

★"Darling? Your food is getting cold-"

★One simple request. Lottie had given you one simple request. And for that you decided it was appropriate to introduce her face to the box of crayons you had in your hands.

★She didn't have nearly enough time to react as you chucked it at her. She brought her hand up to block her face too late as the box exploded like a firework, crayons scattering every which way. She stood a bit shocked for a brief pause, before sighing heavily and pinching the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb.

★You were fully prepared for her to be angry, but instead her expression softened and she sat on the ground to meet your eye level.

★"Rough day today, huh?" You didn't respond, but she nodded with understanding as if you had, "You still need to eat love, you might feel better when you do-"

★"I don't wanna!"

★Lottie hummed for a moment, considering this, "You can eat in here if you like?"

★"I..."

★"Just have to be careful, you don't wanna mess up you're drawing. It looks so good so far :)"

★You immediately softened up at her compliment, "You think so?"

★"Of course!" She stood up, ruffling your hair as she did, "I'm gonna get your food, stay here ok?"

★Lottie always knew the right words to help you settle down when you got yourself a little worked up. And it wasn't always her words, it was in her actions too. She knew all the right buttons to push to get you to settle down, even when you were being obnoxiously stubborn and absolutely refusing to let her in.

★"Baby c'mon, a quick bath won't kill you."

★You were less moody, more absolutely determined to not get in the bath. You knew what a bath meant; it meant settling down for the night, which meant bedtime. You were not a fan of bedtime, not when you had so many important things to do, like play with your stuffies and finish watching bluey.

★"Five more minutes."

★"You've been saying that for the part forty five."

It was like a verbal tug of war, with Lottie trying to convince you to go, and you asking for another five minutes. You knew you were winning based on how her eyelids drew heavy and she started to yawn more and more frequently. She was a sleepy person in general, let alone how late it was. If you could just keep this up, she was bound to pass out and leave you to do your own thing.

★"Darling I promise it will be fast-"

★"Nooooooo."

★"Baby,"

★"No!"

★She grumbled, and you could tell you were getting to her, "Don't be a brat-"

★ D:< "Don't call me that!"

★You hated being called a brat, and in her sleepy haze she must've forgotten that. Or maybe she decided to try name calling in an attempt to get a leg above you. Either way, you didn't appreciate it.

★You pouted and turned away from her to break eye contact. Although, after a short beat, something floated through your field of vison. A bubble, gently drifted past you. Your eyes grew wide as you watched it float past, more bubbles parading behind it. You pawed at them, grinning to yourself as they popped, before turning around to locate their source. You aren't quite sure why you were so surprised to see it was Lottie, but you reached out and gestured for her to give you the bottle.

★"Oh, you want these?" you nodded quickly, and she kind of giggled to herself, "You can have them... in the bath."

★The BETRAYAL.

★You turned to look away from her again, as more bubbles gently floated past, some popping on your skin and leaving little wet circles as reminders.

★You wanted them so badly.

★You tried to take the bottle from her, but she jerked her arm up and held them where you couldn't reach. You whined and tried to pull her arm down.

★"Darling these are all yours the second you get in the bath."

★Another thing you hated was letting her win, but you kind of had to admit, the bubbles sort of took priority here.

★"...fine >:("

#i wrote this in the school library 😭#i had TWO HOURS in a free period today lmfao #lowkey not what anon asked for i learned very quick that im no good at writing tantrums #sorry bro hope this is ok 💀#lottie mathews x reader #lottie matthews x you #agere yellowjackets #sfw agere #yellowjackets agere

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demodraws0606 · 3 months

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AS YOU LIKE IT and Rui Kamishiro

"As You Like It" a song made by Eve is pretty much canonically Rui's theme song designated by colorpalet. I don't think I need to explain why as it stands out among WxS's discography while being linked with Rui a lot in general like him being the only with an alt vocal.

Now I'm gonna dissect some of the lyrics (ignoring the lyric distribution, this time because I don't think it ads too much ?) and explain how all of it links to Rui's character while also throwing in a little bit of speculating in there as I think the song could potentially foreshadow Rui's arc coming forward.

Also I know the song was definitely not written for Rui and this technically damages my analysis in some ways HOWEVER the fact colorpalet completely gave up on their usual normal choices for WxS pick to pick THIS SONG obviously matching Rui's character (and also shoving it in multiple after live shows) means this song is worth of analysis.

ANALYSIS TIME :

We're starting off strong, I think these lyrics go well with how Rui was in the beginning. He seemed apathetic/indifferent to the things around him, he clearly had given up connecting with anyone around him.

Crying over these memories obviously refers to how Rui is constantly hurt by his past weither knowingly or not, the memories of people rejecting him pretty much is still wound that is healing for him.

This could obviously be in relation to Rui's relationship with WxS, Rui says later in a QnA that the most stressful play for him was the RMD one. He constantly lives in fear of being rejected and his relationship with WxS is an act of courage for him.

"cause we shouldn't stand still, right ?" first ding on the disbandement arc counter

"Life is a sham" again very much a reference to his middle school self, and the "don't say you can't do it" is rlly vague but also I believe has multiple meanings.

People have bailled on Rui multiple times saying they can't do his production, but also Rui now was in situations where he withdraws from situation due to trauma like in wonder halloween where he "couldn't do it". "Don't say it's too late" Could be talking about middle school Rui's mindset, who had given up despite still waiting for someone to understand him.

Both could also be a reference to the disbandement arc as well

WxS forming and Rui being at first reluctant to join due to fear/past trauma

Now the "meeting of my selves" could be a reference to Rui's emotions but I think this a very specific line that could end up being foreshadowing towards something.

Asahi/Sakaki both seem to have links towards Rui as a character so it is possible, especially with the idea of conflicts with the different selves that this could be a reference to that (both side character linked to Rui ends up heavily challenging him and his beliefs in some way possibly ?)

"We steadily close the gap/But we remain far apart" could potentially be some ominous WxS foreshadowing but that's grasping at straws

Hmm.

Hmmmmmm....

Anyways !

*LOUD DISBANDEMENT ARC COUGH*

Okay obviously I don't need to explain how this relates to Rui's character. Rui right now still has Asahi looming in the background as the future of WxS still remains uncertain.

This one kinda has two conflicting ideals for Rui

"No meaning to being humble and respectful" could be related to Rui's tendency to be overly humble sometimes despite his extraordanary, he's very much a perfectionnist. He's also just overall very self critical, people reacting negatively to his directing made him feel like there was something wrong with him and that's just how he continued to view himself.

"So bye-bye to my embarassing dreams" Rui often chastises himself for wanting more, he's very similar to Emu in that way. His dream of wanting to have friends or his dream to stay with WxS both were "embrassing dreams" to him.

There are some other sus lines but since I don't have a good grasp on them so these will be the last one and uhm.

Yeah those specific lines I feel like is foreshadowing towards Rui's trajectory.

Because it's weirdly fitting in Rui's weird spot right now right ? He's becoming better, he has improved in so many ways but there are things that are definitely not improving with him (aka his feelings about greedy, his overworking tendencies and overall emotional repression). There are still issues with him brewing in the background and by issues I mean Asahi.

So yeah this was very rambley and I'm sleepy but As You Like It is Rui's blorbo song and colorpalet likes this blue and purple grape way too much.

#project sekai #pjsk #rui kamishiro #rui pjsk #rui wxs #wonderlandxshowtime #as you like it #eve #pjsk analysis #project sekai analysis #prsk #prsk analysis #prsk rui #rui wonderlandxshowtime #kamishiro rui #i'm sorry i finished this while tired so #if there are sentences that make no sense #uhm..#sucks ig

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galactickohipot · 2 months

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I'm done with Dawntrail's msq! Here are some of my thoughts! The new zones are really cool and varied! It's a pleasure to explore. There are little settlements and villages scattered all around the maps and I LOVE IT! It feels so lived in and credible. It's really nice seeing npcs go about their little lives there. The graphical update really helped in seeing this vision realized and it's so nice to see. I've come to notice more details in previous zones too! Overall the battle content is real nice this expac, mechanics are more engaging than in EW. As a casual sch main (rip smn), I'm happily peeling dps off the ground in expr dungeons. I also liked the vibes and the job quests in Tural; it reminds me of early AST questline, which was a pleasure to go through. As for the rest, unfortunately msq is absolute trash tier. Some people are comparing it to ARR, but that's honestly underselling 2.0 in a lot of ways. Spoilers ahead!

First, I must confess, I am an ARR enjoyer. I love its world building, its slow pace, how lived in and carefully crafted everything is, how rewarding it is to pay attention to lore details, how incredible it is at hinting at something bigger. My favorite expac is HW, and while I haven't found anything quite like it since, I still find the rest of the story at least entertaining. Now, with that said, I didn't set my expectation especially high with this new expansion. It was supposed to be the start of a new saga and so I imagined it would start slow, with what I assumed would be a lot of settup. I was sorely disappointed. Honestly, I don't even mind Wuk Lamat, but the fact she is so present in the adventure makes it hard to ignore how poorly written she ended up being. Her character flaws never have actual consequences, every problem is resolved within one or two cutscenes and none of her victories feel earned. Several times they could have meaningfully challenged her character, but they never went past surface level banalities like "friendship is magic". As a result, she feels like a broken record half of the time. A shame!

What gave me a good laugh was how Krile kept hitting us on the head with her whole "OMG Zoraal Ja is Evil!" everytime she sees this character. It would've been nice yknow... to let us wonder about who he really was, his family ties , and what his intensions truly were. but no, they told us everything from the get go.

The characters say what they mean and mean what they say. The heroes are never wrong, never mislead, always have the purest of intentions. Their beliefs are never challenged. There's no subtext, no wonder, no mystery. So why care at all? All of it is a big fat missed opportunity. DT's characters deserved better.

In recent expacs, I've been annoyed with their tendency to solve issues like unemployment or poverty in a few lines of dialogue. For example, in ARR and HW, you would deal with the symtoms of an issue, like refugees being preyed upon, or people in need being taken advantage of. When done well, you would be given a good overview of the situation, several angles and hopefully, a bit of nuance. In later expacs, you get 16yo Alphinaud telling you if you are poor you should find work lol. The npc's agency is often cast aside so your character can look good, so you can come up with every solutions, so you can be the hero. They don't feel like a people you're trying to help, they are plot devices to facilitate your power fantasy. Writers find ways around complex situations, to reassure the player that no no their way is the best, there was no other choices. It thoroughly reduces the impact of the story imo. I really believe some issues need to stay unsolvable in a story. Not everything can be resolved by killing gods, and that's fine. It's mature, it's humbling.

In Dawntrail however, this has been taken to the extreme! A lot of these problems end up feeling very one note, and the solutions, condescending. One scene and it's dealt with! Concepts, questions or consequences don't really have time to stay with the characters or the player. It feels like characters are written in little boxes, rarely interracting with a rich world and its history, and are conveniently pushed along by little plot devices. As a result, the over-arcing narrative isn't cohesive at all. The only part that worked on me was Cahciua's questline, because we are left somewhat wondering about her or Erenville's feelings for a little while. Otherwise, nothing lingers between questlines, and things really feel badly pieced together. Now, I was really looking forward to the world building in DT! I know past expacs also had cultures based on rl ones, but the focus of the story wasn't tourism then. By drawing attention to it, it becomes apparent that every zone is rushed, reducing the tribes there to one or two easily digestible trait for Wuk Lamat to understand. She'll either solve their problems with a grand monologue about peace and love or pretend she grew from the 2 hours tutorial on "trading for dummies". It's so frustrating! Either they don't trust in their own writing ability or they don't respect the player's intelligence.

Dawntrail is shiny, pretty and colorful, but the moment you scratch the surface, it crumbles down. The plot falls apart if you think about it for more than two seconds. The elements are all there but this feels like a first draft. It's just so inoffensive and bland!!! It is ironic that the dawn of a new saga, the golden legacy of FFXIV, completely forgot how ARR came to be. How painstakingly and carefully the new game was crafted when 1.0 crashed and burned. It's a game about heritage, and yet it didn't take time to properly consider its past strengths. idk man... Time to go back to the drawing boad!

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv msq #ffxiv dawntrail #msq spoilers #dawntrail spoilers #be warned I didn't like the story at all

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eyesaremosaics · 1 year

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Confronting the shadow self is daunting. I feel so overwhelmed by all the things that are wrong with me… on one hand I have grown exponentially—and changed for the better! However, in other areas I have gotten worse. Mainly my deep seated anger (that surfaces at inappropriate times), and also my inability to regulate my stress responses.

What ends up happening is that I bite off more than I can chew and become overwhelmed. As a people pleaser, I have a tendency to take on more than I can handle, and it takes a toll on my nervous system.

Trying to sit with these feelings. When I am sick for example (which doesn’t happen very often), I get REALLY sick… and then I snap at people, become very short with them and have a bite to my words. This is because I am in a lot of physical pain, but I should just call in sick and prioritize my self care instead of subjecting others to my bad moods. I always say “YES I can do that”, “sure, no problem!” When really I should put my foot down and say: “I’m not feeling well, I need to stay home and rest today”.

By forcing myself to work, I am not only making myself miserable, but also making everyone around me miserable.

Sometimes I come home from working with children… and just cry because I know I failed them that day. I FAILED as a caregiver. This happened a few weeks ago. I was getting stressed out because it was getting late, and the little guy needed to get up early for his first day of school the next day. I was getting snippy with him, and he told me: “Megan, when you get mad at me, it makes me want to cry.” I felt like the most horrible person in the world. I broke down and started crying. Telling him that he was right, and how sorry I was. I explained to him that I was just exhausted from working too much, and that it wasn’t his fault, and he absolutely did not deserve it.

I cried because I don’t do it on purpose, but at times I feel powerless to stop it.

My mother always used to yell and my siblings and I… because she was so overwhelmed with her life… it did a lot of damage to all of us. Don’t get me wrong—I love my mother deeply. She made my childhood magical in many ways, and I have a lot of respect for her. She had a hard time of it when we were growing up (as sole bread winner or single parent a lot of the time) and she did the best she could with what she had. I suppose that’s true of all parents.

Some days you feel good, you know you made a positive impact on a child’s life, and some days you know you (unconsciously) did damage. We are only human after all. My mom feels terrible about how she yelled at us. It must be genetic, because my grandmother admitted to doing it too when she was younger.

It has made me reevaluate whether or not I want to be a mother one day. I am good with kids actually, they love me almost immediately and I get along great with them because it’s so easy for me to become a child again and play with them on their level.

Growing up poor does something to your psyche. You end up with this “scarcity” mindset that I just hate. I realized that I eat so quickly (which is horrible for your metabolism btw) because I was 1 of 4 children—if you didn’t eat quick during dinner, you didn’t eat. Always feeling like there is not “enough” to go around, always starving for more love or attention (because you had to compete all the time to get it).

Seeing all these things so clearly now. The antecedent moment is known to me, but the way forward is not. I have been “catching myself” in the act of bad habits and trying to reshape my behavior. I’m grateful to my mom for teaching this to me too. She was always the first to apologize to us when she was wrong. She was humble and took accountability, which showed us that grown ups make mistakes too.

I remember confiding in my grandmother about how much “mommy yells”. My grandma told my mom what I’d said, and my mom really took it to heart. She would take deep breaths and count to ten before unloading on us. I remember actively watching her try to change, and she did eventually.

I hope that I can manage to do the same, and that the damage I have done to people I love is not too great to be healed.

Trauma is not an excuse. You don’t get an excuse to treat people poorly. Though I know… I have a good heart. I would never hurt ANYONE on purpose. I know myself at my core, and the core of my heart is very loving and compassionate. So now is the time for me yo be more compassionate with myself. By understanding where these wounds come from, I can catch myself and pivot my response. I can also apologize and say: “I’m sorry, I am working on managing my stress better, please let me try that again.”

A month ago, my boyfriend, my cousin, her girlfriend and I all went up to Mendocino. Yury (my boyfriend) manages 62 acres up there for the scouts organization he volunteers for. Usually we camp or stay in the cabins, ride around on the ATV’s, toast marshmallows, swim in the creek etc. It was a fun weekend, until the accident.

My little cousin, is my cousin through marriage. When I was a freshmen in high school, she was just a baby at 2. We went together like peas and carrots. I saw so much of myself as a little girl in her, and I felt very protective of her. Her parents were both tweakers, so they were mostly absent. My grandma, my grandpa and I all had a hand in raising her. She grew up to be a good kid, but I was concerned to hear from her girlfriend that she was very reckless at times and made dangerous impulsive decisions.

Basically, what happened was a long chain of events that I won’t detail here (because it will take too long to flesh out), was that after warning her all day that the ATV was not a toy, that she needed to go slower on it, she didn’t heed my warning and flipped the ATV over with my boyfriend riding in the passenger seat.

My cousin’s girlfriend and I were in the cabin listening to music. She asked me if I heard anything, but I said it was probably just the music. Then we heard it again, we opened the door and went outside. We saw my cousin running up the path screaming “help! The atv flipped over! Yury is trapped underneath it!”

My boyfriend was pinned under the ATV. Adrenaline kicked in and I thought for sure he was dead. I didn’t want to believe it. I was terrified. The next thing I remember was hearing him screaming in pain. My brain relaxed slightly, to hear he was still alive. Now time to asses the damage. I tried to lift the ATV on my own, but no way, it was too heavy. The girls all started pushing from different sides in their panic, which was grinding the roll cage further into his leg.

He screamed in agony. I told the girls: “on three we need to lift at the same time girls ok? One, two, three!” We somehow managed to lift it. First just to release his leg. I looked over Yury to make sure no vital organs or anything were crushed in the crash. Thankfully it was just his ankle and his foot.

Somehow we managed to push the ATV back on to its wheels, so it wasn’t leaking fuel on the ground. At this point the full blown shock and panic set in. I ran to the first aid to try to find bandages, but I was panicking so much that I was looking but not able to read words. I was kicking the boxes screaming “I’m looking but not seeing”. My cousin came in and said; “why don’t you let me do that?” At which point I rounded on her and started screaming “why did you do that?! Why did you fucking do that?!”

I was so furious. I went up in flames. I must have looked possessed. Her girlfriend told me that my screaming wasn’t helping and to pull the car around so we could load yury in.

The situation was critical. It was the middle of the night. We were in the middle of nowhere, no cell reception, and the closest hospital was a hour away. Not to mention we’d all been drinking. I told them: “I can’t drive, I’ve definitely had too much to drink.” I certainly wasn’t going to let my cousin drive after the accident she just caused, thankfully her girlfriend had stopped drinking hours before and offered to do it.

We had to drive into town 20 minutes to get cell reception so we could find an ER. Willits said it was closed. So we had to go all the way to Fort Bragg on these foggy, windy roads with deer jumping out in front of the car—which wasn’t even my car by the way, it was my bosses car. All while Yury is screaming in pain in the back seat.

We almost blew up the car by accidentally… by turning the ignition on while it was pumping gas. Thank god we turned It off in time. More stress.

It felt like an eternity until we got to the hospital. I kept screaming over and over how stupid this was, blaming my cousin and asking why she ignored my warnings all day and thought she could Tokyo drift the ATV like that. To be fair, my anger was justified, she almost killed my boyfriend. However, my yelling and screaming like a lunatic was not. On the drive I managed to calm down, and just focused on helping her girlfriend use the controls on the BMW.

I knew that I needed to just shut up and stop yelling, because I was doing damage. It was better for me to not talk to my cousin because I wanted to kill her at that time. It would be different if I hadn’t been warning and lecturing her all day not to drive crazy on it. Then it would have been on us. However, her eye rolling and dirty looks whenever I said anything about it, and the blatant disregard soon as she was out of range where I could see her—led to the situation we were in.

Granted we had all been drinking, so no one should have been driving, I didn’t say she could, I thought Yury was going to do it. He mostly smokes weed, and is a very safe driver. He’s the only person I trust to drive my car. He blames himself for letting her drive, and truthfully he shouldn’t have let her. However, she is one of those people who doesn’t look drunk when they are. She doesn’t slur her words, or stagger, she looks and talks normal.

She begged Yury to let her drive it, and he relented because “she looked so excited like a little kid” and he wanted her to have fun. He also thought she would go slow in the dark. We were all about to turn in for the evening when this all went down. Yury didn’t even have time to tell her to slow down before it flipped.

We got through it, but Yury is out of commission for months now. He fractured 4 bones in his foot, and he may need to see a specialist to reset the bones or put pins in some of them. He can’t walk, shower, go anywhere or do anything without help. This has put a lot of strain on me, as I already work multiple jobs, and have very little free time as it is. Of course I’m happy to do it and help him, but it has exhausted me. I basically have no time for self care.

He can’t work, so the responsibility to pay all our bills has fallen on me. He manages to scrape rent together with the little remote work he can get done, but everything else (groceries, pg&e, gas, etc) falls on me, and I don’t know if y’all have noticed—but shit is expensive now.

I worked a crazy amount of hours in August. 60-70 hour weeks. Didn’t have a day off for 3 weeks straight between all my jobs. Though I am grateful for the work, grateful that I make good money, not having any free time really wears on you after a while.

Hence why I was getting snippy with the kids. Not an excuse, but it is the origin. Not to mention my cat Persephone of 21 years literally died in my arms… I had quite a bit of trauma compacted into two weeks. To top all of this off, I gad a terrible session with my therapist of the last 5 years, which I think concludes our working relationship.

I told my therapist about the accident, and at the time I was very angry still. The day after the accident, I apologized to my cousin for yelling at her, but expressed my concern that she has these reckless behaviors, and that I hope this will serve as a wake up call for her not to do things like that in the future. She looked at me like she hated me and said: “yeah, ok.” And got in the car and left.

My therapist started in on me, about how I’m actually not taking accountability as I said I was. She rounded on me saying that I’m still saying it’s all her fault, which in my opinion it was, not to mention I was still mad. I think I had every right to be mad, Yury and I have over 4 grand in medical bills that we can’t pay, not to mention the fact that he can’t work, and I have to work double shifts to pay our bills. All because she ignored what I had been telling her all day long. I would not have let her drive the ATV. True, Yury shouldn’t have let her drive, but it was such a relatively short distance, and had she been driving normally, none of this would have happened.

I know it was an accident, I know she didn’t do it on purpose. Yet ultimately, she is refusing to take accountability for the part she played. She did not apologize to Yury, she had not called to ask how he’s doing. Nothing.

She ran to my grandmother and basically painted it like Yury and I told her she could do that, and made all these excuses for her behavior —which is just infuriating. All you had to do, was apologize, check in on Yury and maybe offer to help him out a little while he heals. It’s not that hard. Yet again, for some people, apologies are hard. She wasn’t raised with repentant parents, she never learned how to do it.

My cousin told my grandmother that our relationship is permanently damaged because I yelled at her. That my apology was too late. My grandmother said: “she looked up to you all her life, and you crushed her when you yelled at her.”

Apparently she was hurt in the accident as well, bruising on her side. I didn’t know she was hurt, had I known I would have made sure she went in to the hospital to get checked out. I wrote her a long letter apologizing for telling the way I did (again), but expressing why I was driven to that point and hoping that we could talk and resolve this when she’s ready. I told her I still love her, and always will, but I hope she makes healthier choices in the future. She never responded to my letter, it’s been over a month now.

I remember what it was like to party with a death wish. I was there at her age.

I remember what it felt like to want to chase oblivion, because the pain inside was catching up to you and you had to keep running or it would devour you whole.

I feel so heartbroken about the whole thing. The dissolution of my relationship with her, my anger toward myself at not having control of my rage, my fear for Yury that his leg will never heal right and he may not ever be able to hike or do any of the outdoorsy things he likes to do again…

To return to my therapist, it felt like she was taking my cousins side (just like my grandmother which also devastated me, as my grandmother has been my favorite person since I was a baby), and that I was crazy for being angry and upset that she almost killed my boyfriend.

People can’t always control how they respond to trauma in the moment that it occurs, but we can control how we respond after. My therapist continued to imply that I yell at people the way Yury yells at me sometimes. Not true. I yell because that was modeled to me by my parents, and I attract partners who model this dynamic to me and I live it out unconsciously. I told my therapist that in the moment, I felt like I had no control over my panic and anger. She replied very condescendingly: “how scary that must be for you. That you can’t control it.”

She also insinuated that I shouldn’t be a mother. I know therapists are supposed to challenge you, but they are not supposed to leave you feeling suicidal after a session with them. I felt personally attacked, none of it felt constructive.

Truthfully, things have been feeling off for the last year or so with my therapist. She dropped hints about “making our sessions more infrequent” and talking about ending our sessions when my healthcare runs out. This was the final nail in the coffin that showed me she doesn’t have any respect for me as a person, and honestly doesn’t want to be working with me anymore.

That’s fine, it’s time to move on. She wasn’t a great therapist anyway, I just used the service because it was what my insurance would cover. It stopped being beneficial to me years ago. She did help—I think—or at least it helped to have someone to bitch to once a week.

I had a therapist before her… that I really loved. In 2016 I started seeking therapy because my whole works fell apart during my Saturn return. I lost my home, my job of 7 years, my long term boyfriend who I thought I was going to marry… I lost my best friend. Then a mass exodus of friends taking her side and leaving me too. It was one of the darkest times in my life. I was starving, unable to afford food.. it was a nightmare. My therapist at the time was really amazing , and in the short time we worked together I made more progress with her than anyone else I had seen.

She was spiritual, used to do tarot with me, as well as reiki healing etc. she helped me see myself and the world in a whole different light. It was a Shane we had to part ways because my insurance wouldn’t cover her, and I couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket. I was going hungry so I could see her. I wish I could find that therapist again.. she told me once: “You have been through an abnormal amount of trauma for someone your age, and it’s impressive how resilient you are. Most people with backgrounds like yours, end up on the streets using heavy drugs.”

I’ve been rambling for hours… but I guess I just needed to get this all out. Since all these recent events unfolded, I have been working really hard at taking deep breaths and monitoring my stress levels.

Also I recognize how much I complain, and I think a little gratitude practice would be good for me.

I have a lot to be grateful for. I have work, both my jobs are pretty kush in spite of the crazy hours, I have my health, thankfully my health issues subsided in 2021. I have a home, in a city and a neighborhood that I love. I did a lot of traveling in the last 2 years, I have my family with me, I have good friends. I have creative opportunities coming my way. Yury is still alive, I could have lost him. Thankfully he will heal eventually, and things will go back to the way they were. I have self awareness, which means I can change, and I have love in my life. Lots of it. I need to remember that, when things get tough.

#me #self improvement #stream of consciousness #digital diary

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papaver-decervicatus · 1 year

Text

Headcanons- Enzo Reyes

Hello everyone! I am still swamped with college work but I wanted to post something so here's a little HC page I have had brewing for a while. Expect Rudy and Nova's soon! Also, I have discovered I absolutely love Reyes, and it's a shame he gets so forgotten about. God, I love a strong nose on a person, fan-freaking-tastic. Cura Ut Veleas! ~ Ceadis

Born November 13th, 1987, in Regina, Canada.

His parents were never married and had a contentious co-parenting relationship throughout his life

He moved with his mother to Alberta when he was 7, so he mostly saw his father over breaks and such

He is ¼ Tsuut'ina on his father's side (his father is half Tsuut'ina and half Spanish,) the two bonded over trapping and hunting. When he’s home, he will stay with his cousins on the reserve to go hunting with them.

Complex relationship with eating meat: believes you should only hunt/kill an animal ethically and for sustenance. Morally opposed to food waste.

Can skin a deer in record time and not waste any meat/material from it.

Complicated relationship with Catholicism, but both his mother and father are, at least partially, Roman Catholic.

Both of his parents married others, he has a year older step-sister on his father's side and two younger half-brothers (3 years younger and 5 years younger) on his mother's side.

At age 13 he got into a massive fight with his mother over something silly (he forgot to turn in a take-home math quiz,) so he hitchhiked his way to his father over the course of 5 days. This is when he picked up his forgery skills from a truck driver he got a ride with.

He accidentally evaded the police who were searching for him until he showed up at his father's house unharmed.

Extremely proficient in hunting tracking and forgery.

More than anything the police were just impressed he evaded them so well once he was delivered home safely. Was recommended to join the military by one of the deputies that brought him home.

His first language was French (his mother speaks mostly French), second was Spanish (under his father.) Didn’t speak any English until he was 6 or so. Barely speaks French anymore unless with his mom. Is still fluent in Spanish. Also knows minimal Tsuut’ina to communicate while staying with his family that only speaks it.

Terrible alcohol tolerance, 2 drinks and he’s wasted.

Incredibly emotionally drunk.

Chuy once convinced him to watch a nature documentary while drunk. He cried for thirty minutes when a baby seal got eaten by an orca.

The least braggadocious guy ever, will never volunteer his skills or talk about them.

That being said, he never backs down from a challenge. Just humbly accepts it and usually wins.

The only person who can hunt/track a target better than Price.

Price fucking hates it.

Best friends with Chuy. Package deal.

Enzo is incredibly shy but extroverted, he loves to talk to others and be involved in the action but it’s hard for him to initiate.

Chuy is confident and introverted and acts as a good barrier for Enzo to feel more comfortable when talking with others.

They bonded over a love for the outdoors/hunting, Reyes helped Chuy when his rifle broke down one mission and they’ve been besties since.

Has a tendency to talk back, but not out of a challenge to authority, more out of curiosity.

The “Excuse me teacher, but isn’t it…” kid all grown up and never kicked the habit.

The biggest nerd ever. Warhammer 40k, DND, wildlife fun facts, doesn’t matter.

Trivia legend, he’s read a book on just about everything.

Had to be banned from trivia night because he always wins.

He always has a pack of waterproof playing cards on him, his favorite is a set he got from the Alberta Airport that have wildlife fun facts on every card.

Did you know that Caribou have 4 chambered stomachs and can swim up to 6 miles an hour?

Reyes did.

Reyes told you.

About 4 times.

This past month alone.

But who's keeping count, really?

Reads over a hundred books a year, easily.

Mostly nonfiction focusing on history, he will write out notes to better remember what he’s read.

Is not opposed to fiction books, but does not typically seek them out.

Is in a makeshift book club with Gromsko and Nova

It is a poorly kept secret that he will do weapon mods/maintenance in exchange for books, the issue is finding a book he hasn't read yet.

Is on a first-name basis with his hometown's librarians.

Has been working on and off on a Ph.D. in history through an online/long-distance program.

It is about the purposeful destruction of the Canadian governmental records relating to First Nations regiments in the army during the 19th century. The process has been incredibly slow because he works on it remotely and, as stated, many of the records either do not exist or were intentionally destroyed.

Teddy Bear. Gives great hugs, sweetheart of a man, loves to cook for others, and always volunteers to help people. Just generally a great dude.

This does not extend to his job.

He doesn’t have a weak stomach when it comes to his work.

He is ruthless, he is calculated, he is damn good at what he does.

He gets along well with his comrades, sure, but he’s not letting himself get killed in the field for something stupid.

Incredibly capable. Do not mistake his affability for weakness.

#navigation -> headcanon tag #enzo reyes #enzo reyes cod mwii #reyes mwii

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thatbrokenpromise · 6 months

Note

humbly requesting a sickfic starter pack, for research purposes of course

(how does everyone react to being sick/others being sick, whatever you can think of <3)

Asking the easy questions, I see LOL. Sounds good why not.

Skyloft: He's very used to being sick at this point, and has 1001 ways to entertain himself (carving, weaving, doing needlework, literally anything) but probably doesn't have anything on hand so he'll be more than a little stir-crazy. He much prefers to be taking care of others, and is extremely patient even if someone's cussing him out.

Minish: Hates being sick. Ball of blankets that hisses at you for disturbing him, even if its with food. He has generally no idea how to handle other people being sick, although he'd probably cuddle if someone needed it and he trusted them enough to touch.

Kokiri: Will deny he's sick right up until he passes out. Absolute misery to take care of, will sneak out as soon as he feels well enough to try and possibly sooner. Hates taking care of others, and has zero patience for it, but would cooperate with providing distraction if asked.

Outset: Will deny he's sick right up until he passes out. This goes great with often being on a boat, yes. Misery to take care of, will sneak out as soon as he feels well enough to try. Finds it much more fun to take care of someone else and likes to be the one fussing instead, and is pretty good at providing distraction in terms of tall tales and chattering and cuddles.

Chief: Will deny he's sick, although not quite to the point of passing out. Sullen and prefers to take care of himself if he can manage it, extremely impatient. Won't sneak out, but WILL sit up for hours reading and taking notes when he shouldn't. Extremely patient taking care of others, although he's a little brusque about it and not super inclined to cuddle anyone unless he thinks they actively need it to stay put.

Ordon: Will deny he's sick, although not quite to the point of passing out. Sulks massively. Sometimes turns into a wolf just because he's so bored and wolf brain makes it suck less. (Ilia is incredibly annoyed every time he does this.) Doting caretaker who's happy to take care of everything someone needs. Has absolutely spent entire days just holding his sick kids and not putting them down because they asked him to.

Four: Will deny he's sick right up until he's passing out. Impossible to keep still, will escape the moment he can try. Would rather suffer alone than let anyone see him weak. (If one is sick, *all of them* are sick, excluding Shadow who can't get sick.) Absolute shit caretaker to anyone ~~including~~ but themselves. Impatient and more likely to tease than help, but good for entertaining someone who needs to stay put if they find him funny.

Prince: Will deny he's sick almost to the point of passing out, then prefers to recover alone. Incredibly prickly about who he allows near him, and bad-tempered about it, although he won't try to escape unless triggered. Can be a very sweet caretaker, but he's particular about who he'll offer it to and is even less likely to cuddle than usual under the circumstances (unless it's someone's he's very close to: Chief, Smith, Kokiri or his Zelda.)

Rabbit: Absolute sullen mess. Won't deny it but will still push himself to ridiculous lengths because he's impatient with recovery. Sulks massively once he admits he's sick. Decent caretaker, but also a bit impatient there and more inclined to teasing care than fluffy care.

Smith: Also a sullen mess. Will bundle herself in blankets and sulk it out,but is grudgingly happy about getting taken care of. Very much wants to cuddle, but tends to be shy about asking for it. Does not really know what to do about taking care of someone else, but would try (and mostly model it off Ravio's example when taking care of her.) Very sweet and attentive, and has a strong tendency towards worry.

Far: Extremely sensitive to when he's getting sick and tries to hide it, but he doesn't deny it. He'll dial himself back and become very quiet and take it easy and try to fend it off, and probably will be extremely uncomfortable with the group because his usual way of coping is "Hide until it passes" and he can't. Does not know how to take comfort well. *Does* know how to *give* it and is extremely doting and attentive and fusses about someone else if they seem remotely accepting.

Hateno: Will deny it until he passes out; also tends towards "Hide in a corner until it passes" and will be an absolute bitch when he can't. Hissy ball of blankets, even over food because he'll be mad he can't cook for himself. Moderately decent at taking care of someone else, will fuss and spend a LOT of time cooking for them and offering blankets; not super keen on cuddling unless he trusts someone. VERY keen on cuddling if he does.

Hope that answers it!!

#TBP Gang #asked and answered #Sick fic #Hurt/Comfort #References

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odi-the-oddity · 6 months

Note

So can we get an explanation of your au for the mane 6? It sounds cool based on what you said on your flutter shy post!

WELL it isn’t really an au since it’s rlly.. yk, minor changes?

but it’s below cut!!! :D

So, twilight is very backwards, kind but distant, I say she has some autism but it isn’t severe, just affects her socially, and she did become princess still, but it took her way longer, because she didn’t become friends with the girls for almost a year, (my vers they all met in their teens and are just now adults) she runs a huge library, and knows almost everything about magic, and friendship, even if she is t very good at being a friend, she really does try, she spends a lot of time baking with pinkie pie per flutter shys request to help her socially

Rarity is a high fashion designer for manehattan, making dresses for the richest of ponies and even celestia and Luna! She’s their main designer of allllll their dresses and even the crowns/chest plates/and armor, she uses applejack as a model despite her bigger build, since she wants to show a diverse and different line of clothing, which gained her popularity

Rainbow dash is a world champion racer, and even surpassed the wonder bolts, and made her own team! She likes working out by helping Apple jack buck for apples and she tries to carry all the apples just her front hooves and wings (despite flutter shy saying not to) and she loves modeling for rarity in rarity’s line of race wear!

Flutter shy, like I said, is very sentimental and keeps all the little gifts from the girls, she runs a animal clinic with a few other local ponies, and tries to help other ponies who deal with bullying, or other stuff, on her free time, since she understands it and she does try to keep up with her flying classes that rainbow dash set up for her

Pinkie pie owns several huge bakery’s, but stays at her first bakery, making things for the girls and sweets for celestia, she always tries to help twilight leave the library by asking her to come bake or go shopping, and pinkie pie is always dropping off cupcakes or little desserts at fluttershys and uses a lot of applejacks apples, and asks rainbow dash to deliver a lot of her orders, and rarity even helps with the design for her bakery’s! Her pinkie sense is actually a sort of magic since she’s related to alicorns very distantly, and she was adopted! That’s why she’s the more hyper one in her family

while it would be nice for them to be perfect, they aren’t, yes they all represent the elements of harmony but they have flaws in my version

Rarity can be a snob about someone’s looks, but she corrects herself before saying something rude, and compliments them instead, she also had a terrible habit of talking down to people about their clothes

Twilight has a tendency to read someone like a book and tell them things they don’t want to hear, and she is still working on being more people-friendly, and is reading ways to help with her autism, in a healthy way

Flutter shy can be.. extremely shy, and antisocial like twilight, but she pushes herself to be social, and she doesn’t trust a lot of people, even if she is kind, she won’t let a lot of people see a flaw about her, she tries to be perfect for everyone so she’ll be likes

Pinkie pie has adhd, she can be invasive, annoying, and loud, her friends don’t mind it, especially twilight, who loves the way she doesn’t have to talk since pinkie talks enough for the both of them

Rainbow dash can be haughty, thinking she’s cooler/better than most ponies because of her awards and achievements, flutter shy is helping to be more humble and down to earth but it’s hard for her

Apple jack can be aggressive, and short with people, and pushy, it’s something from her parents passing away, she had to take on a protective role and learned to be gruff from her brother Big Mac, who was quiet, and also short with people

Thank you for reading <33333

#mlp #mlp fim #mlp g4 #my little pony #twilight sparkle #fluttershy #pinkie pie #rainbow dash #rarity

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ronanception · 2 years

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Something something Nancy and Mike are from Karens first marriage to a strange man(name unknown) and he always seemed a little on edge with the kids(she catches him putting them in with the laundry and says he was just giving them a bath, does nothing to stop Nancy from putting a pillow over her baby brothers face) but Karen draws the line when she walks into the backyard and Nancy is holding Mike over a woodchipper and he's just standing there and laughing like it's all in good fun.

She divorces him and marries Ted shortly after. Due to child endangerment, their father is not allowed back in their lives. Nancy and Mike still have these... odd tendencies, but Nancy realizes they shouldn't be doing things like adding a little bleach to their cherry Kool-aid(it tickles their tummies and makes them giggly). She begins cataloguing appropriate behaviors and inappropriate behaviors by going to Barbs house(Barb thinks Nancy hung the moon and stars in the sky and thinks she's just a little quirky) and emulating her. She teaches Mike that he has to do these things too, but he doesn't want to listen.

Karen has a mental breakdown after she sees him performing self surgery so that he can get a better look at his stomach on the kitchen island. Dustin told him that if he swallowed gum it would stay in his stomach for a hundred years, and he's swallowed a lot of gum and needs to know the truth. After Nancy gives her mom one too many of her 'happy pills' she actually bludgeons Mike with a rolling pin until the kitchen is full of blood and brain matter, making him clean up the mess when he wakes back up.

He listens to her about acting 'normal' after that.

Nancy still supervises his first DnD sessions to make sure he's adhering to their carefully constructed facade of normalcy, even stooping to dress up as an elven princess for them.

By Sophomore year, Nancy has perfected her mask of normalcy, and is thrown off when Michael runs into her room one night, 'yelling' in a hushed tone that he thinks he might have found a girl. A girl 'like them'.

The poor thing is scared out of her mind, unable to even talk, and Nancy tells Mike he can keep her in the basement for one night while she figures something out. She's achieving an important Very Normal teenage milestone that night after all, losing her virginity to Steve Harrington.

something something, events of seasons 1-4 happen but with this au twist changing some things.

Not long after arriving at Emerson, Nancy receives a letter addressed to her in exquisite calligraphy (was this written in blood?) Letting her know that one of her distant cousins from her fathers side of the family is coming to stay with her and will also be attending classes at Emerson. Also enclosed is a check for an obscene amount of money along with the keys to a Cadillac. There's a knock at the door of the townhouse she had rented using government money and she opens it to reveal the strangest girl she's ever seen.

"Hello, I see you've received my fathers letter. I am glad you have offered your..." the girl peers around Nancy's shoulder, "Humble home as my accommodations while I attend college." Nancy is just standing there with her mouth open, confused as hell.

"We've never met. My name is Wednesday, Wednesday Addams."

#this is absolutely ripped from a fic I read a long time ago #but anyways I doubt i'll ever actually write anything beyond this #but if it gives anyone brain worms

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prettyblooddaycareau · 10 months

Text

Welcome to the Pretty Smiles Daycare! A humble place that you can trust will keep your children safe and sound.

PrettyBlood daycare is a PrettyBlood AU that’s concept it about a humble daycare with a bit too much going on… the kids are all over the place, all unique in their own ways! And our caretaker, Nappy, and her co workers have to protect, and take care of the children!

Our cast so far.

Rinny

Rinny is a charming, yet slightly alarming young girl. Her personality is quite promising at first glance, but her sadistic tendencies sometimes scare the other children, she is no stranger to the calm down corner.

2. Copper

Copper is a entergetic, yet extremely annoying boy who enjoys to run around and have fun! He likes hanging out with his friends! He often gets sad when people are mad at eachother.

3. Cuft

Cuft is a modest little that often keeps to himself, and his bugs. There are rumors around the daycare that he has a pet worm. Speaking of, he loves researching worms the most!

4. Leafy

leafy is a cheerful and carefree young lady that enjoys spending her time outside the most. She likes spending time rolling in the grass or watering plants. Her favorite thing to do with outside fun is doing that with her friends!

5. Elma

Elma is a meek and reserved child, she often doesn’t talk much. And likes to stay comfy. But she has these emotinal bursts where she panics and talks more often. These mainly happen whenever she is stressed or hurt.

6. Carl

A caring and ambitious youngster with asperations on becoming a docter! Her little bag contains stickers, and bandaids. She calls it a medkit though. She likes giving checkups to her friends the most.

7. Felly

A lively and obedient young girl who enjoys helping around the daycare despite being immature. She's quick to her feet and loves helping those in need. She also has dreams of becoming a ballerina!

8. Bloon

Bloon is a clever and mature young boy for his age. He dislikes when things don’t go his way and knows when to take things lightly or not. He wants to be respected among the other children, and is.

9. Luny

Luny is a touchy, yet lovable child that is aggressive when poked fun at. She lives by a “treat people how you wanna be treated” mentality, and is a sweet heart towards people who treat her with kindness and respect.

10. Eluca

A disturbing, slightly misguided child whos plushie just keeps getting more and more ragged and alarming. He often keeps to himself, playing with his doll.

11. Bipolar

Bipolar is one of the most chaotic children in the daycare! His emotions keep chaning, but atleast your able to tell when his apperence switches. Sometimes he is bold and carefree, sometimes he is worried and gloomy.

12. Ron

Ron is cheerful and loveable all the time! She's a wonderful singer and has participated in many of her school’s Chiors. She’s popular among the daycare and a lot of people there are her friends!

13. Nappy

Nappy is the daycare’s founder and number #1 caretaker. She is kind and caring and loves to take care of the children. But she has a life outside of the daycare too, and she has to balance the daycare and her daily life.

Our inspirations

Our number one inspiration was swapping the ages of characters and putting them in a daycare setting. Yes, I know this is overused but I’ll get to why.

The reason why we did do this? Well, because the concept was rather interesting! so I decided to put my own spin on this concept and try to make the story less controversial and actually good. This means heavy topics will be taken more seriously.

Our story will be similar, but unique too! And we hope you’ll be with us through it.

#Pretty blood #Pretty Smiles Daycare #PrettyBlood daycare AU

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justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

Note

may I ask for a matchup, please (matchups for both eras in HP, the MCU, and DC/Gothman?) Thank you!

I'm 20 years old, aquarius, Hufflepuff with gryffindor and slytherin tendencies, straight and Poly with a guys only preference and I go by she/her pronouns! And currently I am about to graduate with a diploma for media engineering

I also stand about at 5'4" based on my last height take!As for my personality, the thing is that I know more about the best aspects of my personality the worst I only know a few.

POSITIVE/Negative TRAITS: For a start, I think of myself as someone who is kind, strong, nice, humble and loyal. I like helping people out as much as possible and try to be open-minded and understanding. I'm usually sarcastic but likes to crack a joke at times. I also stick to my personal opinions but I'm happy to learn from a mistake, if I'm being spoken to nicely and not yelled at. I would also do anything for my loved ones but I have a hard time showing it, I'm also very understanding and will stand up for what's right and fight someone for them and I won't hesitate to defend the person or call them out on their bullshit while remaining respectful.

The negative is that sometimes my head is up in the cloud as I tend to daydream alot.i tend to be too talkie so people had to tell me to stop at times.

But that usually depends on the person, as much as possible, I try to be neutral else I will beat thier ass if they are getting more disrespectful

I'm also very introverted and mostly pefer to dive into books and my art but still extrovert when i go out , I also have this rebellious streak but not super rebellious.

HOBBIES:

I have like a LOT of them. Most of them are artistic exploitations such as drawing, listening to music ,writing stories and collect stuff figurines and books but I'm usually seen on my phone and being on social media like tiktok or I'm playing video games (murder mystery, hogwarts awaked) I'm also very particularly fond of learning new things, like shistory and special languages like flower languages....and more learing about magical creatures.

Thank you so much for requesting a Matchup!! I hope you enjoy it! <333

Harry Potter (Marauders Era);

Remus Lupin:

🐾 You met Remus right after graduation while wandering an old bookshop

🐾 You were walking down rows and rows of bookshelves, before turning a corner and almost bumping into Remus; both of you apologizing profusely, but thankfully no one got hurt

🐾 Though you graduated from the school two years ago, you were pretty good at faces, and you almost instantly recognized Remus from Hogwarts, him having been in three of your classes, Potions and DADA

🐾 Remus had instantly recognized you, him having a crush on you since his fourth year, but he never did anything about it, not even telling his Marauder friends; he thought after graduating that he'd never see you again and thought that his little crush would go away, but after seeing you, Remus realized that he never got over you (his crush came back full storm)

🐾 You had found Remus adorable, his words getting all messed up when he spoke to you, him muttering and fidgeting with his lanky fingers, you simply smiled, before asking if he wanted to join you for lunch; Remus nervously said yes

🐾 The lunch went swimmingly, talking about the good ol' days in Hogwarts (though it was only a few years ago), and talking about your lives, likes, and dislikes; the both of you could feel some sort of connection between you two

🐾 After that, you both stayed in contact, making sure to meet up and hang out once in a while, when you both weren't busy or working; you both were quickly growing feelings for one another, and the two of your get-togethers slowly turned into dates, that's to be sure

🐾 Remus's crush on you definitely grew to one of love, he loved how much you loved reading, writing, and listening to music; Remus loved how caring and understanding you were, even when it came to his furry little problem

🐾 You found Remus incredibly sweet and charming, you loved how loyal and kind he was; he always knew how to calm you down if anything was wrong and always loved to just sit and read a book with you

🐾 Together, you two were practically attached to the hip, always together reading or just spending time together in some way; the two of you would do everything together, and always supported each other, making sure each other are healthy and well-minded, and, most of all, loved

Harry Potter (Lightning Era);

Neville Longbottom:

🌹 You met Neville when you join Hogwarts as the new Muggle Studies and History professor, having sat next to him during meals and finding him pretty handsome

🌹 You later found out that he was the Herbology Professor, and had a fascination and love for anything green and plant-y; you found this adorable and instantly wanted to get to know him

🌹 It took a while until you got up the courage to talk to the teacher, but after a bit of self-reassurance and daydreaming, you finally spoke to the professor during lunch; you both introduced yourselves and soon enough, a friendship blossomed

🌹 When you both didn't have classes, the two of you would do your period planning and homework correcting together, talking about plants, students, and even some of your hobbies

🌹 You had once given Neville a drawing of one of Neville's favorite plants for his birthday, and he loved it; that was the day he realized he really like you, in fact, he thought he might love you

🌹 You were smitten with the Herbology professor, finding him sweet and such a gentleman, his green eyes reminded you of the many plants that he adored and his brown hair reminded you of the dirt they were often planted in; he was amazingly gorgeous, and you were shocked that he didn't have a partner already

🌹 One day, while you were in class with your third-year students, teaching them about Muggle history, an owl flew through your open window, carrying a bouquet of beautiful flowers; you gasped, seeing them, and your students watching with curiosity as you read the small note, 'I grew these for you, I hope you like them. I was wondering if you would like to join me at Hogsmeade tomorrow after afternoon classes? - Sincerely, Neville'

🌹 Neville was a bit nervous, waiting outside of Three Broomsticks Inn, growing more and more nervous as he waited, his hands stuffed into his long, dark green robes; at the sound of his name, he turned, smiling as he watched you strut over to him, a bright smile on your face; he heart was singing

🌹 As the days and weeks went on, you and Neville finally became an item, holding hands as Neville walks you to your classroom, sharing sweet chaste kisses before heading to your professor dorms, and having picnics in the greenhouse together

🌹 Together, you and Neville are two peas in a pod, you are the stem to his flowers, the earmuffs to his mandrake, and you had captured his heart, you are his life; and you felt the same, finding your Neville to be your knight in shining armor, your lion, your brave prince, and you loved him wholeheartedly

Marvel;

Steve Rogers:

⭐ You met Steve when you joined the Avengers since Fury had found that you had an amazing set of powers

⭐ Steve was then in charge of training you, making sure you were ready for any mission, and Natasha would help too, putting you under her wing; you quickly became friends because of that

⭐ You were a bit intimidated by the Captain America, but also found him marvelous, amazed by his every move; from the way he moved, fought, talked, and the way his hair just seemed to flow, gorgeous (not to forget that America's booty he had)

⭐ Long story short, you had been daydreaming about a certain Captain and his cake when he broke you out of that daydream daze, and yes, you were mighty embarrassed, and Steve was mighty confused, but told you to make sure you are aware of your surrounding; Steve was mostly concerned that you'd get injured by not paying attention

⭐ Believe it or not, Steve really liked you, a lot really, when he first saw you, he thought you were really pretty, really pretty; but he pushed his feelings away since you were a coworker now and he didn't want to make you uncomfortable

⭐ But, it seemed that Steve wasn't too good at hiding his attraction for you, since Tony and Bucky noticed immediately, instantly teasing him about it, they even tried to get him to ask you out; Tony's rambling wasn't really helping that case, but once he left and Bucky gave Steve a talking to, Steve finally gained the courage to ask you out on a nice date

⭐ When he asked you, of course, you said yes, and Steve made sure to take you to this nice little diner where the two of you ate old fashion burgers and chocolate and vanilla shakes; there the two of you bonded over your love for drawing, and Steve told you that he'd love to see your work, and you said the same

⭐ After the two of you started dating and made if official, some days Steve would find his shield missing, but he knew where it was, or really, who took it; you loved to prank Steve, taking his shield and pretending to be Steve, lowering your voice and doing the pledge of allegiance, Steve would always find you and thought you were adorable, he could never be angry at you

⭐ Steve finds you incredible, he loves how much you care for others like him, and are always so sweet and how funny you are, he loves just spending time with you, reading and drawing with you, (drawing you specifically); you were sunshine on a gloomy day

⭐ You and Steve are best friends, soulmates, and there was nothing that could tear the both of you apart; you were both perfect for each other

DC;

Clark Kent:

⛅ You met Clark when you joined the Daily Planet as the new assistant to Mr. White, giving him his paperwork, getting him to sign something, or he'd just asking you to get him a coffee; your job seemed easy, but it really wasn't

⛅ You had wanted to be the newspaper editor, you loved reading the newspaper and thought editing it would be a fun job, but they weren't hiring an editor and so you became an assistant, and that was when you met Clark

⛅ You were rushing with paperwork in your arms and went straight into Mr. White's office, accidentally interrupting his and Clark's conversation; it was awkward and you apologized, hoping you weren't going to be fired after a week, but you were in luck, Clark saved the day

⛅ Clark introduced himself, as the Daily Planet journalist, and you were in awe, he was so handsome; how come his hair was so perfect, and his eyes were so stunning, and his teeth were so gleaming? Amazing

⛅ Clark found you just as amazing, he loved how sweet you seemed, and even complimented your little sketches and doodles on your notebook cover that you held in your arms; you two were having a lovely time just talking before Mr. White asked the two of you to leave

⛅ It didn't take long before you started daydreaming about the amazing Clark Kent, thinking about his hair and how soft it look, and the way his eyes shimmered and his voice, so dreamy; you wanted to daydream more about him but you had to get back to work

⛅ Only a couple weeks later, Clark asked you out for lunch, and so did your relationship begin, from cute little dates during lunch and wondering why Clark was rushing off early after you heard sirens, you thought he was perfect nonetheless

⛅ You began to get a bit suspicious, when Clark would run off during dates or just hanging out, but you sort of put the puzzle pieces together, realizing Clark was Superman all along; which was pretty cool to you, since a couple days after you moved to Metropolis, you were saved by the man

⛅ The two of you would spend as much time with each other as possible since he'd sometimes have to go and save the day, but the two of you would spend it wisely; reading together in each other's arms, drawing sketches of each other, playing video games (though Clark's really bad at it, except Mario Kart, he always wins), and showing Clark your favorite TikToks

⛅ You and Clark are perfect, the idol relationship, the number one couple; Clark is your hero and you love him to the moon and back, and Clark was feeling the same, he'd do anything for you, just say it

Gotham;

James Gordan:

🔫 You met James (Jim) Gordan when you were brought into the GPD for probably knowing information on some criminal, but they got the wrong person, you didn't know anything about any criminal; they didn't believe you though, which was annoying

🔫 They looked through your stuff, your phone, and they knew that you had to have something to do with the recent crimes that have been happening, you must have been involved, but you weren't, you kept telling them; you really didn't have any involvement

🔫 When Jim got hold of the news that some cops captured an informant of some high-up criminal, Jim wanted to have a go and interrogate the person, thinking you were this hard criminal; when he saw you, looking small in the metal chair, he realized his coworkers have got the wrong person

🔫 Not saying that Jim didn't think you could be a criminal, you could've been, anyone can, but you just had this aura, that you weren't a terrible person, you didn't seem like you would intentionally hurt someone, and so he let you go, but not before giving you his number in case you needed anything

🔫 You did call, a lot later, but you called Jim and asked him for help, but guess what, someone had ransacked your place and you didn't feel safe, and it turns out because the cops had plastered your face in the newspaper about how they caught an informant, you were now a target, a big yay on the police's end 🙄

🔫 Jim, as an apology for putting you in danger, become your personal bodyguard, making sure you were alright and giving you a place to stay; it was awkward at first, but you got used to staying in Jim's room while he took the couch, no matter how many time you said you'd take the couch

🔫 Slowly, and awkwardly, the two of you bonded and got used to each other, to a point that there weren't weird silences anymore and the two of you gradually became friends; your crush on him didn't start until you woke up to breakfast made and a note from Jim telling you that he had bought you your favorite cookies; they were in the cupboard

🔫 Jim really liked you, growing a crush on you as well, after coming home to find dinner made, and you asleep on the couch, a book open in your lap; Jim smiled as he picked you up and took you back to his bed, making sure you were comfortable and all tucked in

🔫 There was no confession, but you both somehow understood and realized that the two of you did feel the same, the two of you holding hands and kissing after watching your favorite movie; it was magical

🔫 In the end, you made Jim a better person, really, and Jim thought you were the best person that has ever come into his life; the two of you were there for each other, supported each other, and would always love each other

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emmetrain · 2 years

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7 & 10

7) What’s the best thing about the canon you are writing?

The way they shattered my heart by separating the twins and never resolving that issue ever. I think it is the way, in Pokemon world, the battles and Pokemon teams can tell so much about the characters?

Emmet cares deeply, and I think his mostly bug team is a hint to that, him caring about the little guys. His ace in Pokemas being Archeops, who is incredibly strong, yes, but also has Defeatist nature, which suits Emmet so well-- how Emmet can also lose hope and be a defeatist, making things harder for himself. How is ace Eelektross was a tiny white fish out of water. Showing his humble beginnings, maybe? (At least, for my portrayal :D)

How Emmet loves combinations and double battles, in a way showing how much he loves teamwork and how he is secretly afraid of being alone? His sentences being short and scripted, where he is comfortable, yet, very strong character. How he can admit how sad he is when he loses, or how disappointed he is if he wins :D He wants the best out of everyone, his passengers included, so there is no winning with him.

How we have his Cross-Poison Galvantula, showing his dedication to get the perfect teammate for his strategies. How invested he is in both battling and training.

How Emmet and Ingo shares Pokemon-- showing their strong bond, but also pointing to the fact that they are living together (I don't think twins would like to stay away from shared Pokemon), how they work the same job... I love how we can see their respect and love for each other through their teams and battling styles.

I love the tiny details of Pokemon teams and battles letting me go crazy theorizing the hell out of them, basically :D

10. Would you say that your portrayal is canon divergent or not?

Canon divergent because I had to tie so many symbolism things together in a way his backstory become a little bit complicated :D Also, his ramblings. I think canon Emmet would prefer short sentences in is daily life as well, but for my Emmet, to better express him, I wanted to change him slightly to allow him to ramble in private. :D

Reshiram /Truth (Emmet can't lie, he is a realist, he cares more about the results) / Fire ( Emmet is passionate. Emmet had a fire starter but had to give up, a burning pain for him. How he had to reinvent himself like a phoenix). Fluffy/soft like Reshiram and has long fluffy hair because Reshiram

Dialga / Time ( Emmet's organizing skills / controlling his time so efficiently) / Steel (Trains, his steel pokemon, his resolve, his tendency to feel cold always-- lack of iron-- a good heat /conductor/ god so many jokes/puns are here).

And Ingo having Chandelure/fire, him having Eelektross/ electric is switcheroo of Zekrom/electric and Reshiram/fire. FIRE/STEEL types because trains.

I wanted him to carry over Reshiram and Dialga traits as if he is the human versions of them, so his backstory was written to reflect this changes.

So, he is canon-divergent in the way that he TALKS A LOT outside the battles, unlike canon Emmet, and he has backstory to make him more Reshiram/Dialga-like.

#unchcsen #ooc;; out of station #saved;; scrapbooks for his return #ask;; suggestions and complaints #headcanons;;#//THANK YOU SO MUCH I ADORED THESE ASKS ;;;;#long post #//basically em is my reshiram/dialga fusion and i care HE

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raininglamppost · 2 months

Photo

Runic - Tribe Infosheet

So I started making information sheets about the various Tribes in my world setting back in January - I wanted to get them all done before starting to show them but that didn't happen. So I'll be posting what I've done so far in the hope it'll motivate me to continue these, or failing that, at least these'll be here for you to check out! Anyhow, introducing The Runic Tribe! They're just nice. It's good to just have a nice Tribe with very little bad stuff going on, they just want to create, build, fix, help and generally share affection (though have a hard time being good to themselves) - all sounds a bit too familiar... I tend to have a lot more info then attempt to condense it to fit these, a fool's folly, so I'll also include unorganised info that may or may not be covered above just in case: Character Qualities

Usually alert to surroundings but easily distracted by current mechanical problems or appreciating something they find interesting

Usually busy but don’t mind visitors and can usually find some time to help them out with something

Very benevolent, compassionate when it’s something they can help, but if it’s something they can’t do anything about they tend to become indifferent

Boldness and cautiousness vs fearfulness and rashness vary

Content to be able to work on things, they get edgy if they have nothing to do and will often take it upon themselves to start “improving” the place they’re in if left to their own devices without distract for very long

Dependable, diligent and very determined

Quite short-sighted when it comes to anything non-technical

High endurance

Very enthusiastic about working, faithful that they’ll get it working

Flexible, forging, generous, gentle and honourable

Enjoy company and letting others stay with them if needed but may get burnt out with too much socializing

All try to be humble but some do become a bit arrogant from their achievements

Can fall into self-pity if not properly balancing their lives

Being so large, Runic are naturally quite meek and find it hard to resist orders

Very organized, sometimes to the point of compulsiveness – one’s organization may be a very specific type of messiness though

High patience with work but can get restless very easily if away from it

Persuasive when they know what they’re talking about

Somewhat unreliable when it comes to social meetings as they tend to overwork and sleep in or forget about anything other than what they’re doing

Responsible – if something they made or did caused a problem, they will endeavour to fix it

Find security in life in the know-how they have, which can’t be taken away

Small tendency to be self-indulgent from stress

All strive to be thorough but if they’re taken by inspiration they may cut corners and simply forget to correct them

Very sincere and tolerant

Thrifty – Runic know what’s needed to make what they’re making, they only go beyond what’s needed if it’s requested

#OriginalSpecies #OriginalCharacters #OriginalDesign #Tribe #InfoSheet #SpeciesInformation #InformationSheet #SpriteArt #Raddykill #RainingLamppost #Bird #Engineers #Runic #Tall

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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How would the yans respond to darling's mental health getting so bad it affects their physical health?

OOOH I like this concept! Our boys are so dysfunctional, I love them. I mostly went with the idea that darling essentially gets sickly and weak and stops eating out of depression, so this could also serve as simply what they'd do if darling becomes despondent and so depressed they enter the "hollow shell" state. Here I did... basically the worst to have lol, but some decent ones too. Some darlings would lean towards anxiety issues, some towards depressive issues.

//depression and anxiety, hunger strikes/refusal to eat, cruelty/some abusive stuff, captivity, one mention of past mutilation, yandere tendencies/themes, mentions of some specific health problems such as ulcers or heart issues, one very brief mention of preventing risk of self-harm, I don't *think* this has gendered mentions in it but I may have accidentally overlooked an implication of a fem darling, some wealth shaming

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Diluc would actually put a lot of effort in. He hates the way you've been acting, so apathetic and quiet, now you're starting to look emaciated and you're tired all the time... he tries on his own at first, trying to soften his voice and humble himself a bit, asks if you want anything or if there's anything that will cheer you up... but you just shrug. At first, he's a little bit hurt by it all, but he realizes his angry tendencies are likely a part of the problem, so he keeps himself from getting upset. Instead he hires a professional, the best his workers can find, and of course pays him off to... overlook the general circumstances. They're married, you know, just not... on paper. The doctor is thus a little bit limited, as he can't just tell him to let the poor thing go, so... he prescribes more sunlight, more affection, some anti depressants, and maybe just maybe, after an interview with darling, says the master of the house might have some... slight... anger problems? In fact, his darling is likely to develop a particular problem... your heart. You get racing heartrate, terrible anxiety for no reason, you just always feel like you've done something wrong and he's going to get mad. Your heart rate is racing, the doctor tells him, you're so anxious all the time.

To be honest, it makes him feel terrible. He beats himself up about it, he knows it's his fault, he really does, he'll just have to try harder. He starts biting his tongue when he catches himself raising his voice, sees the way you shrink back and stops, collects himself, apologizes. The antidepressants seem to work a little bit, and he takes you outside a lot now, takes you for a walk, even... fine, he'll take food outside, you can have a picnic out in the fields or something, as ridiculous as he thinks such a thing is. In fact, he'll become a lot more compromising on various things... okay, fine, fine, you can have some alcohol if you want... some. He still says it's bad for you, so not a lot. You want to stay up late... fine, he'll do that with you. Anything to make you happy.

But you, you're still so unappreciative. Hmph. He does so much, and here you keep whining about wanting to have friends and see your family... the family is a no-go, so as a last resort... he tries getting the maids to actually bond with you. Like, they were already polite and helpful, but now he just picks the most outgoing and bright-spirited ones and tells each that her job is to be friends with you for a couple hours a day. Bond with you. That will provide you with the interaction you need, since apparently himself alone isn't good enough for you... a fact which still hurts his feelings a lil bit.

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Venti is just... sad honestly. He's one of the ones that tries the hardest to maintain your happiness to begin with, probably one of if not the most concerned of all our boys with your happiness. He doesn't even imprison you! And yet, you're so sad about your friends having cut you off for unknown reasons, and how people seem to avoid you, you've retreated inside your home and won't come out... and when he goes to check on you, his smile drops and the devastation shows on his face at seeing how sickly and malnourished you look. You shake your head, mumble that you don't need any help, you're fine.

He hates being rude, but... he has to insist. Puts his foot in the door when you try to close it. You turn back, his head is tilted for a moment so you don't see his face, but... when he comes back up, he's smiling again. Forced and twitchy, but smiling.

See, he thinks that it will just make you worse if his concern shows on his face, and he believes the best aid for depression is positivity! So that means he has to do his best to remain a light in your life, yeah? He basically pretends nothing is wrong. Brings you food, plays his lyre, sings you songs about happy things and love and sunshine. Gives you hugs if you'll allow it, drags you outside to get some sun, takes you to all his favorite places that make him happiest in hopes it will cheer you up too.

But with time... he breaks. If it's not working, eventually he just can't keep up the happy act anymore. His lip trembles and his eyes water and he just tells you he just wants you to be happy again... please? He basically resorts to begging and pleading. Just... why can't he make you happy by himself? What's so great about the friends you lost? Why isn't he enough?

However, after the storm comes the quiet, right? Well, no, in his case its a worse storm. This is one of the few things that can bother him so much he actually becomes genuinely angry, a rather shocking shift in character that is exceedingly rare in him. It's somewhat a defense mechanism, he feels so hurt by it that he lashes out, but eventually he just clenches his jaw and wipes his eyes and glares. Repeats himself -- why isn't he enough? After everything he's done to make you like him? He's tried so hard! If you can't appreciate that, fine. He'll just stop trying. Eventually, if you want to be happy, you have to make that decision yourself, it's a choice at this point, he says. But don't think he's going to just let you starve to death or sleep all day. Even if you don't want to, you'll come out in the sun to be with him... spend time with him, let him play for you, every day... regardless of whether or not you choose to enjoy it.

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Xingqiu is similar to Diluc in that he arranges as much help as available, with his rich-people resources. Well, first he tries to fix it himself, and as per usual, he sees money as the solution to his problems. You seem down... here, why don't you two go out... he'll buy you whatever you want! Buys you expensive clothes, jewelry, food, everything he can think of... but you still won't eat, and you look sickly. As per usual, he maintains his sweet, genial demeanor up until the point he's really not getting his way, and then things go downhill, he gets upset about it, and that's never a good thing.

He tells Father something is wrong with you, you're... malfunctioning. And it's bothersome. Can't he arrange something...? His father helps, of course, hires a private psychiatrist similar to what Diluc does. This psychiatrist is... a little less honest than the other one, though, given the pure prestige of the family. Well, ah, he says... the subject is just... having trouble adjusting. Insecure about fitting into a powerful family, your nerves are simply so on edge that it's making you sick. He gives a bunch of things that are supposed to help, ranging from herbal teas to powerful medicine. Perhaps, he suggests, you'd be more comfortable if you were given familiar things from home, food and clothing and such. Maybe your stomach isn't accustomed to high-grade and rare foods, you're more accustomed to simple things.

Begrudgingly, he obliges. It's not suitable for your status, and he has to talk his father into it, but if it helps, he'll have the servants learn how to make commoner dishes you'd probably be more familiar with. You can wear some of your... old clothes... the ones he didn't get rid of for being too plain and embarrassingly cheap. Actually, when properly appreciated, the plainness and simplicity is sort of endearing... matches your simple little brain. He reads out loud to you, letting you lay on his chest, gets entertainers to put on all sorts of amusement for you. He gets irritated if it's not working, the superiority complex kicks in out of hurt. He's giving you things you would never hope to obtain before, and yet you act so unhappy. Maybe you want to be unhappy. Maybe he's just... yes, that's it. He hasn't been giving you attention, so you're acting out in hopes of receiving more. It all makes sense now. He just has to spend more time with you. He'll have to wait for the results of this new course of action.

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Kaeya would be awful in this situation, he gets frustrated by it. As always, he's got some arrogance going on and thus is deluded about himself and thinks he's such a great caretaker... he's been so good to you! He never hurts you (unless you deserve it) and he loves you (so say it back) and he's so easy to get along with as long as you never express defiance, recognize that he's always right, and do whatever he wants! And this is how you repay that kindness?

In fact, he becomes convinced that this is just another one of your tricks. You're trying to guilt him. You're such a brat, always trying to get your way, that now you're pouting. You're just being stubborn, trying to make him feel bad when he hasn't done anything wrong. Going on a hunger strike as part of your perpetual childishness. It's nothing serious, you don't actually feel sick like you say you do, and you're not really laying in bed all day, you probably jump back to normal when he's at work, you just act tired as part of this effort to make him feel bad. So at first, he just sighs, tells you that, well, when you decide you want to be mature about the matter, just let him know and he'll get you some food, but until then he's not gonna bother giving you stuff you just won't eat. Gods, you are so ungrateful for that fact that he's reacting to this mini-tantrum so well.

...But you don't give in. Okay, maybe you're just sick. He rationalizes it to himself by thinking that it's not that your mood is affecting your physical health, it's that you have some sickness, and it's affecting your mood. You're only acting so depressed because you're sick. Of course, he's not going to take you outside, no, but he can get you over the counter medicine for everything he can think of. If that doesn't work, well, he can just... get worse. How would you like it if he was actually mean? Ignored you? Was cold to you? Maybe then you'll appreciate him. Yes... if he does that, soon you'll drop your little act and beg for him to go back to being nice to you. Appreciate him more. And he'll do so, with only minimal dramatism -- what did we learn? Right, to be appreciative. Yeah... that'll work.

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Xiao's darling becomes depressed rather fast, given how dark and depressing the room he keeps you in is, how bored you are with literally nothing to do. He's also pretty bad about it, not due to arrogance like Kaeya, but rather, he just... doesn't know what to do. He doesn't even know what's going on with you. However, this is especially bad for him, because he in particular literally uses darling as an antidepressant for himself. His ray of sunshine is going dim, not eating, sleeping all the time, feeling sick, your skin is even starting to look dull... he's confused and afraid and doesn't know what to do. He tries the only thing he knows how to do at first -- give you physical affection. Hold you close and squeeze you tight and just stay like that. He doesn't know what kind of words to say, so this is more or less the only thing he can think of.

...That seems to maybe work a little... but you're still not like you used to be. He doesn't want to take you outside... he can adjust the abode to get you more sunlight. Still, the one thing he won't compromise on... no going outside. He shakes his head adamantly, no. He can't... if you go back outside even for a moment, you'll hate him again... you'll look at him with that malice and disgust you did the first few days you were here, and that nearly crushed him the first time... if you go outside, you'll remember other people you like more than him... you'll really, really hate him... he can't let that happen. He tries to not get mad at anything, even though these days you don't really do anything that makes him mad in the first place. He tries to talk it out... he's very straightforward. Why are you so sad? But you just shrug, or worse, you tell him the same as always, you want to go home. It hurts... you can't be happy with him...? Still, there has to be another way. He can't let that happen. You were starting to get accustomed to him, you acted like you really loved him, he can't risk losing that.

Eventually, he ends up begrudgingly going to other sources. Ganyu, Cloud Retainer, Verr, Zhongli even. They don't offer much in the way of help, since they are smart enough to realize the problem likely won't be resolved unless he allows your freedom... but he tries their other suggestions. Brings you flowers from the mountaintops. More books and things to do. Lets you have unbound hands so you can write or draw or whatever craft you want to do, he'll bring you things.

And he keeps up the embraces, because it's just... the only thing he can think of. The only other thing he really knows how to do. He thinks about what makes him happy, and your hugs are one of his favorite things in the world, so maybe, even though he knows he's not the ray of sunshine you are, maybe he can provide some happiness that way too. He can just stay like that for hours, arms wrapped around you, face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. Just... get better... or else he doesn't know what else to do.

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Razor is even worse than Xiao in the "doesn't know what to do" department. Wolves don't experience such things. He has no idea what's happening to you, why your body is getting thinner and your eyes are so sunken in and dull, but he notices those things, even if he can't articulate it. And he understands what 'sad' is. When he's sad... the lupical cheer him up in some ways... so he does the same. Nuzzles you, cuddles you, takes naps in the sun with you, grabs you and takes walks in the woods -- even if he has to carry you. If all else fails, licks a few stripes up your face, even though you seemed to not like that in the past.

Maybe you are sick. He's got a pretty good immune system and doesn't get sick much, but when he does, it's more like colds. He has heard there are a bunch of sicknesses out there in the world that a person can get. Maybe this is a sickness he doesn't know about. But... he doesn't wanna take you anywhere... he knows people probably are looking for you already... so he instead goes himself. Wanders over to Mondstadt city limits and begins stopping random people and asking them if there's a... what's the word... doctor. Once directed there, he just kinda barges in and begins explaining that his mate is sick. Explains everything wrong with you. A doctor should be able to fix the problem, he knows, one time when he had a cold, the knights gave him horrible-tasting liquid, but it made him feel better.

This one doesn't seem to understand, says he has an idea that you may need... he says some big, long word... but says can't prescribe anything without seeing you, he tells him. Well, he can't have that... but Mondstadt is a rather safe place, and people don't lock much up. So, he just... comes back at night... sure enough, the pharmacy -- the big door where he saw all the bottles behind the doctor as he thinks of it -- is unlocked. He can't read, so he just grabs one of everything. He tries repeating the long word over and over in his head, and by the time he gets back to you, he tells you the one you're supposed to look for. Yes, that one, that's the one. Do you just... swallow it all at once? He's not sure. He'll let you figure that part out.

If the human medicine doesn't work, he's left sort of stumped. Maybe... maybe he'll cook all your food from now on... he was trying to get you adjusted to eating raw meat sometimes, since cooking it can be a hassle. And... he'll do some of those things you want that he normally pouts about, like taking a bath when you tell him to (although he still doesn't see a point in doing so every day! Once a week should be okay), or stealing clothes for you to wear. Our boy terrorizes the poor Springvale residents' clotheslines. Yes, that will work... he hopes.

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Gorou actually has a unique response, one that's more instinctive than consciously done. The instincts kick in, and the only rational explanation his brain can come up with is injury. Dog brain doesn't understand "sickness" very well, so it substitutes the best it can and comes up with that. And consequently, without meaning to, he becomes defensive. It's a difficult thing to explain, and it drives him up the wall himself, but he's stuck between human brain telling him you're depressed and need help, and dog brain that keeps saying someone has hurt you. But the latter tends to dictate his subconscious behaviors, thus, despite normally being a yandere that allows you to interact with others, he gets worse than he already was.

He essentially seals you into your room, acting like a guard dog and patrolling the outside. Aggressive towards anyone who comes near. Coming in every half an hour or so to check on you, nuzzle your face and cuddle you and try to get you to feel better... the thing is, now you're completely deprived of sunlight and social interaction even when you weren't before, so you can only get worse. He gets you food and brings it back every day, but you don't eat any. His brain can't understand. The human reason in him says he needs to get someone else to help. But the dog instinct says absolutely no one can come near his mate, it's not safe, they already hurt you once. You have to heal first.

He won't leave his post, either, no matter how much people try to pull him away. Eventually, someone has to intervene, for the good of you both. And again, his human brain gets that, he's glad even, but all he can do is sort of whimper when they hold him back, while someone else goes to check on you... he'll be devastated if they take you away completely, though. They try at first, tell him it's for both your sakes that he be kept away from you. It hurts, he gets mad, and it gets worse when the separation anxiety sets in. Dogs get really, really bad separation anxiety. He just... becomes despondent. Sits on the ground with his knees up to his chest outside your door, ears flattened to his head, burying his face in his arms. Completely unresponsive, now he's the one who won't eat, won't speak. He can't handle being away from you. It's... actually a pathetic display, even the higher-ranks of the resistance are shocked to see him in such a state.

It hurts even more when he sees that you've improved when you're away from him... but he's determined... he can do better. Give him another chance... he won't make you sick this time... promise. And unfortunately, given that he's a key part of their success, the other soldiers more or less force you to stay with him. If they don't, who knows how long it will take him to go back to normal? So you're basically put back into the same situation, albeit with someone watching over you this time to hopefully prevent the same thing from happening again.

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Albedo thinks he can cure you himself. He approaches it logically, and he's not surprised. In fact, he predicted this was a possibility, and has already thought of multiple potential solutions to your issues, such as lethargy and loss of appetite. Firstly, adequate sun exposure, balanced diet, the ability to express your emotions. He'll give you pencils and paper to draw or write with for that purpose, or, he tells you, you can just vent to him about your feelings. Either is acceptable. Oh, and exercise. If you've already... had your mobility permanently limited, as he's prone to do with any darling, he will get you exercise anyway, physical therapy essentially, helping you stretch all your muscles.

Of course, he acts like he's very knowledgeable and highly capable on the matter... in truth he has zero medical qualifications, he's just been reading a textbook on psychology when you're taking your naps. He just... likes feeling capable. Helpful. Superior, the provider that cares for your needs and does so perfectly... and in contrast, one of the things that gets under his skin the most is when he feels like there's something he's incapable of, that he's failing at something. So if you don't start getting better, it starts to bother him.

But he refuses to accept it. He's not doing anything wrong, just... give it some time. Maybe it's the cold. Maybe he can find a way to hide you away back in the Favonius boarding areas, where he has a private room in Mondstadt, rather than up on Dragonspine. Maybe he should get you little things that will make you happy. He buys sweets a lot, he'll give you some too. If you don't like that, maybe gifts. Flowers. Clothes. He'll try everything. Well, everything except help from others. In the end, he will just keep trying his own methods, even resorting to IVs and force feeding if that's what it takes to keep you alive while he gets a solution.

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Scaramouche's darling leans towards the anxiety side of things, although there's certainly depression as well. He has a similar attitude as Kaeya, except it's less of a delusion of his own kindness and more of a defense mechanism thing out of frustration and not knowing how to handle it. Still, he's been good to you! You've had literally the best life imaginable! Like a flower that has been given all the sunlight and water it needs, yet it still wilts... losing both its beauty and its purpose. He doesn't ever really say so, but he does like you smiling, he's come to be more fond of it over time... and he doesn't mind you crying, afraid, or anything like that. But that neutral face, where you just stare out into space, don't react to anything, numb and hollow, when you shake your head and won't speak, cowering and refusing to eat, anxious eyes darting all around, unable to sleep... it makes him seethe inside, even if he doesn't show it too much. That face makes you look gross. And he says so, in hopes that you'll take the insult to heart and change. But you don't seem to care.

In the end, he's probably one of the worst because he goes through two stages. Firstly, the way that usually gets him what he wants... cruelty. Similarly to Kaeya, he thinks that if he just ignores you, feigns apathy towards you, acts coldly towards you and diminishes your depression by sighing and calling it an act, you'll drop it and come crawling back, apologizing and going back to normal and resuming eating. But you don't... in fact, you're clutching at your stomach, like you're in pain. Similar to Diluc's darling with heartrate issues, poor darling here develops a specific health concern: stomach ulcers from all the anxiety. The doctor he reluctantly calls to look at you tells him so. Stress and anxiety, he tells him, caused it, and they're pretty far progressed, meaning you've had them a while.

He's in a bit of disbelief at first. Anxiety? Stress? How could you possibly have any of those things? He's made your life so easy. You literally do nothing but follow him around all day and sit by his side or on his lap in meetings. Of course, poor doctor shrugs and stutters a bit, not wanting to point out the very obvious cause of said stress. Doctor just prescribes something for the ulcers, along with some tranquilizing medicine, and takes his leave. Afterwards, though, Scara gets kind of irritable, asks why you let it get this bad, you could have just told him your stomach hurt. You say you didn't want to make him mad, and you thought he... wouldn't help. It's upsetting -- he realizes he's maybe not the most patient or outwardly affectionate person in the world, but he's never done anything that should make you think he wouldn't take care of your needs. You're probably just being stubborn, you let it get so bad out of spite.

And then, you really screw up. What remains of your defiant spirit acts up just enough to grumble that it's his fault anyway. And that irritates him. He doesn't blow up or anything, just glares, seethes silently. So in the end, he basically makes the problem worse, because that one interaction makes him so bitter, he holds a grudge over it. Since you want to hide things, then, you'll just have to start seeing a doctor regularly. Since he's so awful to be around, maybe you won't have a lot of stress when you're locked in a room by yourself for a while. Thus, stage two: after outright meanness, he tries... basically neglect. Isolated, tied up, of course, can't have you hurting yourself. For hours and hours and hours on end. Maybe you'll change your tune, decide that 'stress' is worth it in comparison, and come crawling back like he wanted you to in the first place. He can deal with the medical issues as they come. ...To be honest, he hopes he only has to do it once... he’s kinda come to depend on you... he doesn’t like it when you’re not there.

But most importantly, he's one of the most stubborn about his own ways, refusing to see himself as the problem -- the only person that needs to change the way they do things is you. His attitude is, quite literally, that it's your fault for letting yourself get the ulcers, letting yourself be anxious, and you need to learn how to be less anxious. Deep down, he knows he's the problem, but he's never going to admit that to himself or anyone else, and he's certainly not going to really modify his behavior.

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But perhaps no one completely despises the depressive state more than Childe. Honestly, he hates you being depressive in general, even if it's not severe. He hates it. More than anything. Happy? How cute. Angry? Even cuter. Hot too, and fun. Crying and sad and blubbering about something? Adorable, especially if it's something he can fix for you. But this? He's clueless on what to do. It's like he's poking you with a stick like 'come on... do something' and you just lay there. It makes him mad. Genuinely angry. He starts off smiley, pulling the aw, what's wrong? in that saccharine, mocking tone. You've been so boring lately. C'mon. He tries making you happy. Got you a gift. Come on, go take a walk with him. Talk to him. Just do something. You're getting so sickly and malnourished... he'll get you your favorite food! Besides, he's had plenty of experience getting his siblings in a better mood, he's rather good at it, so he does the same things. It's a little childish in approach, since that's what he's used to, babytalk sort of voice about how if you just eat this for him, he'll do whatever you want, yeah? Come on. Be good.

Okay. That isn't working. Maybe you need the opposite. He tries making you angry. He's... rather good at being annoying. It's his specialty. He knows how to push your buttons, make you irritated. Yet, you just shove him away at most, or maybe even just barely acknowledge him at all. He's just trying to get you to snap, get that one glare and snarl after annoying you to your breaking point, and then, he thinks, your whole spirit will come back. But he can't get you to that point, no matter how hard he tries. You just go to sleep, sleep for hours and hours, don't eat, you're lethargic and tired, you forget things all the time, you say you don't feel good.

Finally, he ends up being the one to kind of snap. What's the matter with you? He asks the question through gritted teeth in a wide smile, that sort of grin that isn't even trying to hide how fake it is. Come on. You're being annoying, you know. Are you trying to piss him off? Because you're doing a really good job. If being sweet or annoying isn't working, how would you like him to be mean? He hates doing that, he doesn't want to be mean to you, so why are you making him do that? Is that what you want? Hm? You want me to hurt you? He raises his voice in a way you've never heard before, and to be honest, even for a despondent darling, it's enough to make you afraid. It's not what he would prefer, but he sees the light come back to your eyes as they widen in fear and you lean back, some emotion comes back to your voice as you stutter and say he's scaring you.

...See? You do have emotion left. That's enough to calm him down at least a little bit. He decides to take advantage of the moment before it fades, keeps going. See, isn't it better when you work with him to be happy? Isn't that better, don't you like it when he's happy and you're happy? So, get up, eat something, go outside with him. He'll work with you to get better, because he loves you. Unless you want him to get mad again.

#also i apologize for my absence we had a storm here and I've been out of power for a few days :')#I typed half of this from the starbucks i went to to charge my phone lmao #now i have power but no internet so I'm making do with mobile data #yandere genshin impact #lena's asks #scheduled post

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