#and also hot damn! that's the most I've written in a while and definitely more than I intended to when I sat down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uchihaharlot · 11 months ago

Note

Hey there! Love your work and if you're still doing requests, I've got one for ya: a hot, sexy threesome between a female reader, Itachi (loooove him) and Shisui. I'm imagining a competition angle where they've both been pining after the same girl for a while and she likes them both too, but can't choose (and I mean, who could, right? Lol). Eventually, someone (probably Shisui based on my own interpretations of his personality) decides that choosing sucks and sharing is caring, leading to super hot sex 🔥

Ooooo deary,

You speak right to my soul. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fantasized being the center of an Uchiha pissing contest. I’ve always felt that love is kind; love is free and love is patient.I’m hikjackjng your request a bit, I’ve had a draft for several months. There is no real competition here, but extremely hot solicited sex and yes. You are correct, Shisui is one hundred percent the purveyor of pleasure.

It will be soo worth it though; there is a second part to this — written by @shisuis-left-nipple, my draft is also beta’d by her as well — thank you my little Shisui harlot. I dream nothing more of being an Uchiha sandwich on a daily basis.

I’ll forefront this by saying there is mentioning of Shiita. Nothing overtly intimate between the two, but it’s undeniably there and at the back burner. Though you are the main focus of this event, I do apologize to the people who haven’t eaten the forbidden fruit.

NSFW; all out Uchiha fuckfest; overstimulation; multiple climaxes; fucked stupid; mild Shiita.

Yea I thought about this for a while. How did you even get in this situation? Probably met at the spring festival and all.

Since, in my au head canon, they foiled the coup. Shisui lives, Itachi rules the coop. Feel free to ask me about exactly what happened — there is so, so much in my one brain cell.

Itachi is now clan leader these days. Shisui is his right-hand man. They've grown out of that phase of just the two of them. I know it's not everyone's cup, but they definitely fucked and now that they're adults and have clan responsibilities, growing out of that phase.… though sometimes they share a girl here or there.

So, here you are at the festival. Looking so gorgeous it's damn near criminal. The spring festival is held in the Uchiha district this year — Shisui called it reclamation day. As part of the planning committee sent by the Godaime, you get to enjoy all the hard work you put into decorating their little corner of the world and Shisui is grateful.

I mean really grateful, his cock thanks you too. Your guys’ budding romance starts out slow.… lol, ya whatever that means in Shisui’s head.

Shisui is the extrovert while Itachi is still a bit shy and reserved. (This might get confusing because Izumi obviously hadn't died, but let's just say well.... I think most of the Uchiha believe in free love. At least the younger progressive ones. It keeps the curse of hatred at bay and sex is free. Love is kind).

Who in their right mind wasn't fucking one another in that gorgeous clan of men?

Everyone was.

This event really turned out, ‘the Uchiha are eternally indebted to you for your hard work' says Shisui. He's the charmer — the concierge of bedroom antics. The proprietor for drawing the women into the sheets.

It doesn't take Shisui long to make fucking shit out of you a habit, upheaving your feels and all. Just casually, no big deal. Starts asking questions after a hot session, of course he came to you during lunch. When he has a craving, the man is insatiable. You mention a few taboo things, maybe binding, nothing too extravagant or out of the ordinary. But he is calculating — ever the entrepreneur, ‘how can I give this girl the most beautiful experience of her life?’ He thinks.

Shisui drops the threesome paper bomb in your lap and you’re like — ‘uhhh….yea, sure. Why not but, with…who?’

‘Well Itachi, of course.’ Just so damn casual like it was a regular Tuesday and he hadn’t spent the last half hour rearranging your guts.

Cue blank screen syndrome, ‘what?’ As if waiting for the room to read itself, ‘is this….something you guys do….regularly?’

‘Yea, sometimes. Just so happened to tell him about this woman who has me in a chokehold. Stealing my soul and that her beauty makes the sun ashamed to shine.’ That sort of Casanova type shit, sick as cancer. Shisui was undoubtedly winning this match.

It serves your desire on a silver kunai. The wet mixture the two of you had created rehydrates and Shisui takes the opportunity to fuck you again, slower — deeper. Asking if you’re interested mid stroke, whispering filth in your ear as you start to come undone. Sexual coercion at its finest. You’re so aroused at the thought of this situation you come hard when he mentions some quip about being a double stuffed bento box.

The good, good Itachi is so prim and proper. He hosts a mini dinner, and you’re sort of sweating, uncertainty beckons you. What the hell is going on here…..it’s mildly unsettling at first, but Itachi refuses to fuck a woman he doesn’t know a little bit about. You all three enjoy Itachi’s over the top meal and the conversation flows. The awkwardness melts away and it isn’t long before Shisui takes off leaving you two alone.

Itachi takes you out to sit on the enagwa for tea. He is such a gentleman to consider you this way. While Shisui preps their sanctum, Itachi’s lips make his first impression, and boy it's hot. Not that Shisui wasn’t the connoisseur of making out himself, but Itachi’s kiss is gentle — light. Soft as petals that feather and cradle yours, making you embarrassingly breathless almost immediately. He wants to make sure you're comfortable with this whole situation and Shisui always finds his chivalry adorable, but you can't talk Itachi out of it. He has to do this. It sets the mood and also lowers any preemptive warnings that you might have, since this is already a new thing for you, there won't be any silly toys. Just pure unadulterated pleasure and free love. Once you spend about a half hour lip locked with Itachi, he's going to lead you around the house. Takes you to a room on the back side that’s dimly lit. Starts kissing you in the room behind closed doors when a small gust of wind comes at your back — Shisui. Always one to make an appearance.

Another set of strong hands are at your back. While one wraps around you from the front, the other from the back. Your senses are already in overdrive, Shisui is the impatient one while Itachi likes to draw things out. Shisui hungrily kisses down your neck and Itachi is just swallowing every soft sigh from your lips. Shisui's hands lift at your shirt, and you thought this through. Some cute lacy see through bra that catches Itachi off guard. Has his sights zeroing in, seemingly devouring you through the material.

Shisui wants the bra off, but Itachi has to remind him who the boss is — using that big ‘fuck you’ energy out of nowhere. Shisui just rolls his eyes, a small glint of the sharingan in an exaggerated attempt to look annoyed but not really — fine, so be it. Itachi can have his portion of you but, either way, a candle can burn from both ends if it's double wicked and there is so much of you to explore, top to bottom.

Shisui kisses down your back as it arches, his hands resting on either hip when he crouches. Itachi is nipping and rolling your nipples through the lacy bra. He absolutely loves the temptation of it and maybe even stole a glance through red spun pearls for later review — yep just know that they are going to be recording this for their own personal collection. (Let's touch on the sharingan for a second, I truly believe that it's emotionally charged. If something feels good, it's out in the open. Big bad and red, like an eye erection or some shit lol. Spinning wildly absorbing collective imagery to database — consider it similar to how pupils dilate when it sees something it likes).

Shisui's already got your pants down. He's so hard, Itachi's exceedingly hard too but he takes forever, so Shisui just starts undressing him too because what are friends for? Everyone needs a little help from their friends. You couldn't be really sure, but you’re positive that Shisui may or may not have kissed the tip of Itachi's cock and licked the excitement off, but all you really could hear was his laugh.

Your pants are shucked and tossed aside, Shisui's got you lifting each leg over his shoulder, he's buzzing and wants to start making you moan. Itachi is just following along for now as long as Shisui doesn’t touch his portion of you. Suddenly, you’re slightly lifted up. Looking down you see Shisui sitting on the ground, his arms holding you up. That shit eating grin filling his face as he peers up at you. Then Shisui’s face at your sex inhaling and exhaling hot and breathy, you sit on his shoulders while he holds you at your lower back. Itachi laughs at the audacity of that man, but he knows how insatiable Shisui is. He wants you dripping down his face, chest and eventually his cock.

Itachi finally removes your bra. The sensations are tantalizing — you got one that's slow and sweet and the other that's too fast for his own good. Shunshin no Shisui never could live life in the slow lane. So just like his namesake you're already one and now a second orgasm deep on his mouth. Your hands, well you didn't know what to do with them. ltachi guided one to his shoulder and the other to rake in Shisui's hair, which instantaneously made Shisui groan on your sopping mound, his nose rubbing in the cleft of your heat and his tongue rolling over that deliriously sensitive patch of nerve within your sweet seam. Prodding you, drinking you in and leaving you full-mouthed whimpering.

Once you've been properly worked in, Shisui stands, leaving you at his mercy high in the air. You yelp and cling to him, so this was the actual strength of a renowned shinobi. He lays you so gentle and sweet like on the bed. And yes this time, you saw what you saw, Itachi languidly strokes Shisui's cock before your eyes and you're like what in tarnation — but it was hot because Shisui bit his lip and looked at you like James Dean with big puppy dog reds. They would tease one another here and there and it would absolutely fan the flame between your legs.

Shisui goes over the many ways this could go down and you're like...

‘I'm just here for the ride. Two against one, does it really matter what I want?’ And they both laugh; how adorable because yea, you're right. They're doing it the way they want and Shisui grabs a few things. Lube, leg spacers etc. but you're like ‘uuhhh leg spacers??’ That's when you end up on top of him turned around, your back to his chest and your legs hung over his knees.

All for your consideration and comfort, he's not one to take liberties, not yet. You’re spread open like the world's finest charcuterie board. Itachi's eyes populate and spin red. 'Gorgeous.’ Cause you are, not a damn thing wrong with you, especially from this perspective.

Shisui's hot breath is at your neck, kissing you all over. Not an inch of skin that his lips could reach is untouched. Neck, ears, shoulders — nipping the space between your shoulder blades. Really a pleasure king for you.

Itachi, this man, may not look like much to the naked eye, but he's that and more. So much more, kneels between your legs and just devours you. Like a fucking goddamn goddess, his lips make praise to your sopping cunt. That damned nose, rubbing it all up in your clit while his tongue is gently teasing your slick. You've never had someone be so attentive to you, and while you're distracted in pre orgasm build up, Shisui is administering a severe amount of lube to Itachi's hand. A grand distraction to addle your mind a bit more.

You've already left your consciousness in the sixth dimension and your soul in the 9th circle to hell. What's something a little deeper? As you climax for maybe the sixth time now this evening, Itachi's slim fingers prod at your uncharted asshole. Oh dear. You've not ever experienced ass play. This is unfortunate but also exciting. You moan treasonously and can *feel* Shisui smirking as he kisses and nips at your back. One of his hands splayed across your stomach. Pressing as you climax hard. Itachi wasn't rough, but he wasn't sincere about knocking on the back door.

‘My apologies' Itachi says when you chirp a little bit over it. Gentlemanly as he is, he's ravenous now. And you can't really be sure, but there is more squelches and a brief motion outside your visual perception.

Shisui says some shit like, ‘breathe for me baby’ through bated breath and next thing you know. Itachi's lubed up Shisui's lovely fat cock and is attempting to breach your second entrance. Oh, mama Kaguya! You were a bit selfish when it came to relinquishing control and Shisui offers you some advice, 'look at me gorgeous.'

It’s in this moment you fully understood what Shisui meant about being a double stuffed bento box, he's only sunk about four inches of his cock in your ass and it's not entirely unpleasant, but new. Your neck is craned in a searing kiss with Shisui, him rocking his hips gently until you're comfortable. Itachi toying with your clit to acquiesce the intrusion. Only when Itachi’s mouth sucks on your bud does it then feel really good.

The intake of air to your lungs as an entirely different type of roaring climax, in a whole new group of muscles, doesn't seem to fill you with enough air to accommodate the salacious inconsolable loud moan that escapes your lips. Shisui gently pioneering slow purposed full-length thrusts into a hole that was once too tight for two fingers.

After that, all he has to do is sit pretty. Itachi takes over after you have a few more orgasms, like what, 9 or 10 now total? If you tried to count, just give up. You're done physically, mentally and emotionally at this point. You've left your soul in their vision for it to never be returned. Completely dominated and owned.

But they're Uchiha. They know the effect they have on people. Itachi puts his hair up a little tighter in a bun. Such a cutie, he slowly strokes himself watching as Shisui has his round. Then the room goes still, all you can hear is Shisui's heavy breathing in your ear, as he’s had to hold back quite a bit. You're so taut around him, he almost busted a nut and unfortunately for him, the second Itachi stretches your weeping and already swelling cunt, Shisui does cum — poor bastard. But his best friend makes sure to angle his slow strokes downwards so that way he gets a little bit of friction and as a double whammy the mere feeling of Shisui pulsating and coming inside of you is like an intermittent vibrator, so you climax, full force. Resting your head on Shisui’s shoulder, he kisses your cheek as your eyes roll shut, and you babble like a cute idiot.

So here you are, hot sweaty and now gagged on Shisui’s fingers as he shoves them in your mouth. Shisui didn't necessarily go soft, the overstimulation of you pulsing and continually on edge keeps a lovely semi at his disposal. Itachi's got your arms wrapped up and set behind Shisui's head, his lips tease at your nipples. He is the slow and steady sensual man. You moan, Shisui moans. Everyone is moaning, it's a cacophony of gasps and sighs. Itachi's is just enjoying being the one in charge of you both, then Shisui starts hitting you with some katon heated dirty talk.

'Such a good girl.’

‘You're choking my cock so well.’

'Another one already?'

Just hot talk and even a bit of teasing. Since he's like buckled down for the ride now, he just gets to experience all the pleasure without much work, but he does make sure to suck at your neck, leaving a few marks on your back too. He's considering that maybe you're the girl for him. With his best friend's approval of course, this is just like a clan initiation at this point. Itachi would let you marry Shisui if he really hard pressed him enough, but Shisui feels deeply, this type of connection only comes once in a life and out of the myriad of females they've shared (which isn't many to be honest) you're this Pandora's box that has so many different things about you he already loves.

Someone is falling hard.

Itachi is of course enthralled with your breasts, they're perky, beautiful and each nipple is gently switched between his lips, pert and sensitive. Though he would turn up the heat and use a little bit of that Uchiha fire to warm them up, only to change the sensation and make you writhe. Slowly pumping himself into you, calls you ‘princess,’ of all things. So old school, Itachi started out quiet but when Shisui is kissing one side of your neck, Itachi is sucking and nipping at the other. All timed of course; right as you orgasm again. Always some sort of over stimulation going on and — hey wait a minute! When did Shisui start playing with your clit? You don't know and don't care because this next orgasm was the most intense yet.

And you squirted all over Itachi's cock, raining down on Shisui's, he couldn't help but start to move his hips a little. The contrasting thrusts sending you even further spiraling.

'Are you ok y/n?' A playful jab at your wavering consciousness by Shisui in a deep raspy whisper. You're catatonic.

An Uchiha flesh-light now. Thank the gods you're on the pill. Just the smell of their musk, power of the gods and that smokey katon heat would one hundred percent have you ending up pregnant and Itachi has big people issues right now, he can't have a kid just yet. You might even just become the wife to both of them. Though Shisui is greedy, possessive with what's his. Itachi has Izumi, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t take part in their secret swingers group.

Here you lie between them, filled up tight to the brim. Shisui has definitely cum at minimum three times, his seed seeping out your little bottom hole. Itachi isn't really that much into multiple, he enjoys perpetually edging the hell out of himself and right when he is about to cum, he slips out. Let's Shisui pound you a few good times and thank gods you have a clean booty hole. Itachi slips him out of his new claimed territory and by gods, there is that lovely Shisui cock filling your warm worn-out cunt. So thick and creamy with his seed, just slips into your tight seam. Slowly thrusting into you, he peppers kisses down your left cheek as Itachi takes a breather. Whispering how much you mean to him, so precious and his. Somewhere down the blurred vision to keep your eyes focused, Shisui is comfortably situated back as your butt plug. Time has escaped you, it all just cascades quickly.

Itachi lifts both your legs under Shisui’s *arms*, oof. Spreading you further, nearly to your ears. Folded like a lawn chair, a personal favorite to both. Shisui locks his hands over your sternum and holy hell this man is strong. You moan when Itachi slips back into your tired cunt. You're still so snug and wet though, the two of them each swing their hips in tandem; you weren't expecting this. All that heavy breathing, encouragement from Shisui and maybe a few a 'good girl’ from Itachi here or there. You're stretched to the limit. Can feel their cocks rubbing against one another through that thin layer of skin that separates your two channels.

Shisui's the first one to bust… again, lucky guy. He's had about five maybe? And Itachi reams his slender hand around your neck. You're so far spent; incapable of an orgasm, beyond belief overstimulated to the point that you're not sure if it's pleasant or not anymore. But it's hot, Shisui biting your shoulder, Itachi's grip tightens a little. He's a bit perturbed you've reached your limit before he could cum, so yea.

Tsukuyomi induced orgasm for you, honey.

Red spun pearls lull and bend your subconscious, all he says in the echo chamber is 'cum.’ Much to your surprise, you do, several times more. All over him as he deposits the hottest load of baby gravy into your cunt, making sure to fuck it in you. Tapping it against your cervix like it was some sort of keg tap. Just knock knock knock genetic coding at your womb. But he apologizes for getting so aggressive once he drops that mild soporific genjutsu and Shisui is trying to not snicker at your disheveled face.

Now honey, you've had a rough night. Let's talk some after care. Lots more kissing, worshipping your amazing body for all the shit it's just been through. Wrapped up like a cocoon and carried off into the main portion of the house.

What do you want? Tea? A movie? A bath?

You can bathe with both of them. Or alone. Whoever you choose. They are definitely going to make sure you are treated with the utmost care and adoration the Uchiha have to offer.

Do you need your leg muscles rubbed? They did go numb at some point. So, you have your bath, Shisui is there while Itachi makes tea. Shisui is such a gentleman though, washing your back. Asking if you want to wash your special areas yourself, he feels like maybe they just violated you, but you laugh out loud at and kiss him softly. 'I got exactly what I asked for.’

And he smiles the full length of his mouth. Such a handsome guy, the bath is rather quick. Itachi's readied the tea, and you can have your own room for the night, but like... ‘what if we all just cuddled and slept in the same bed.' You speak.

‘Hot damn, yes that too,’ Shisui quips. You're like a loaded canon and he is absolutely pulling the trigger finger on that.

Itachi nods and smiles, ‘ok.’

So, you have your tea, maybe even watch a movie but girl you are dead on your ass. You pass out within the first twenty minutes, Shisui finishes your tea and carries you to bed. Gently stationed between them, you just sleep so peacefully and serene.

Yep, and then when the morning comes, it's breakfast time.

#shisui uchiha #shisui smut #itachi uchiha #itachi smut #itachi headcanons #shisui headcanons #Shisui x itachi x reader #mild Shiita #itachi x shisui #shisui x itachi #shiita #sorrynotsorry #uchiha clan #uchiha family #uchiha headcanons

194 notes · View notes

loregoddess · 4 months ago

Text

some rambling thoughts about Unicorn Overlord and the angels and how they're written under the cut (lots of endgame spoilers), because I haven't been able to stop thinking about some things since finishing the game

So, I've been watching some of the other maiden rite dialogue and endings for UO, and some of them are insane. Like. Alain can marry Dinah--their paired ending says she becomes the new queen, so he definitely marries her, and presents to all of Cornia he beautiful wife, who is also Literally A Fox.

But! despite having very romantic rites with say, Raenys or Umerus, he does not marry them in his paired ending (they both return to Albion and just. Live their lives. no marriage implied, like, Alain's got more romantic "but not married" endings with some of the male characters than he does any of the angels).

Fascinating implications honestly. I had suspected that the bestrals were willing to live in family units with humans (as implied by Ramona, Morard, and Yunifi being a family unit, batshit backstories aside; and also the entire orphanage side quest). Like sure, there aren't any like, half-bestral half-human offspring in the game unlike the confirmed "half-elves exist, and a lot of humans are hot for elves", but the bestrals are shown to live in family units with human members. And while no one (aside? from? Alain? sir?) is hot for the bestrals (at least I didn't find any NPCs who were like, "hot damn" about the bestrals), we also don't see any human characters fawning over the angels (whatever Sharon and Ochlys have aside, I'll get to them in a sec).

And like, in-game the angels (technically "the winged", I know angel is a specific term but bear with me here) are all religiously and culturally treated as like, literal divine messengers of the heavens. But we also learn from the sage in Albion that they aren't divine in any way, they're literally just humans with wings, the result of an ancient magical lab experiment that apparently went wrong.

So it's like? The idea that they're divine messengers was definitely made-up, probably by the first pontifex, to give the winged a place to exist safely in society, but! But also this ends up getting warped in the most fascinating ways bc it leads to the "present day" culture(s) in the game, where other races are jealous of the angels but generally get along with them, but also, most importantly, view them as divine. Even though there are like, winged children and families, and they're clearly just people with wings, no one treats them that way, and while this leads to some of the angels being really arrogant (Ochlys's parents thinking humans are lesser beings), it also puts all the angels in a really weird spot.

Like, Ochlys loves Sharon bc Sharon treats her like a person, and doesn't revere her with reverence to the point of isolation (which seems to be how most humans treat angels), and so we get the idea that generally, a lot of angels are isolated from all the other races because they are viewed as divine. And this also places some absolutely insane expectations on the angels themselves, like, if they're divine messengers of the heavens, then they're supposed to be perfect, they're supposed to embody and represent everything that is the heavenly divine, they're not allowed to be people.

But the thing is, Baltro knows damned well (as do all the ancient Zenoiran souls) that the angels aren't divine anything, they're a failed magical experiment that got propped up on an isolated pedestal, who've have been acting the part of divine messengers bc that's what's expected of them, that's all they've ever know, it's so ingrained in the culture after 800 years that no one even questions it. But the angels are people with flaws and emotions that can be manipulated, and that is exactly what Baltro and the other Zenoiran forces do. Baltro doesn't even need the mind-control magic, because the way the culture of Fevrith treats the angels makes them extremely easy to manipulate by toying with their emotions and how they view themselves and how humans view them.

Take Umerus for example. Umerus throws aside all her values in a desperate attempt to save her brother's life, because she loves him, he's the last family she has left, and she'd even turn her blade on her oldest friend and anyone else if it meant a chance at saving him. And when Alain and Scarlett are able to save her brother for her and free her from Zenoiran influence, she ends up so guilt-ridden over her actions because she went against everything that her culture and everyone in the world has told her she is--divine and perfect and holy--because she's failed at being "an angel", so she's wracked with immense guilt that she can't escape.

Had any other character (human, elf, or bestral) been in Umerus's position, their actions wouldn't have been questioned, others would have been like "well, of course you'd act that way in that situation, that makes sense" and all would be forgiven, and while Alain and Scarlett are able to forgive Umerus (bc they treat and see her as a person), Umerus can't forgive herself, because she doesn't seem to see herself as a person, only as an angel who failed at being an angel.

And like, it's like this for almost all the angels in the Albion section. Fodoquia is ready to die fighting Zenoira right up till his own people make a sacrifice of his son, and then Zenoira uses his grief and rage to control him until Alain shows up (Fodoquia's admittedly faster to forgive himself, but he never truly bent to Zenoira's will and it seems he felt justified in a lot of his resentment towards the people who killed his son, even if he also feels guilt in his lost faith in them).

Sanatio is presented with a dead pontifex and the promise that all of Albion and the theocracy that upholds it will fall into utter chaos if he ever lets people know that the pontifex is dead. Baltro uses Sanatio's faith like puppet strings to make Sanatio mislead all of the orthodoxy, and Sanatio hates himself for it afterwards because he's not only an angel, but one of the highest ranking angels in the orthodoxy, he's supposed to be divine, to be above being manipulated and toyed with, and he failed that. And all the reasons why he failed are totally understandable and would have been forgiven so quickly had he been literally anything except an angel (and again, Alain and Scarlett don't hold any of Baltro's manipulation against Sanatio), but Sanatio can't forgive himself, he can't see his actions as anything outside of horrific and sinful bc that's all the culture around the angels has taught him.

And on the flipside we get Raenys, who is so devoted to trying to be the paragon of an angel, to protect others and uphold what is right, that her actions are nearly self-destructive, because she would die rather than fail.

Ochlys is the only angel in the entire game who seems even remotely well-adjusted, and that seems to be because she cut ties with her parents and their ideals, and also decided she was going to do whatever she pleased in her job rather than listen to her boss. And she met and spent an immense amount of time with Sharon, who treated her like a person from the start and gave Ochlys a chance to see herself as a person, rather than just as a divine angel.

And yet! Alain can't marry any of them. He can marry elves and bestrals, and of course other humans, but not the angels. The culture around the angels is such that even though his rite dialogue with Raenys ends with them kissing, he can't marry her, bc she is an angel, she is the divine, and I honestly don't know if a marriage between an angel and someone of literally any other race would be allowed, because it'd probably be viewed as sacrilege of some sort, because people aren't supposed to fall in love with something divine, they're supposed to revere it, but never bring it down to their level, because the angels--to what seems to be the cultural norms of all Fevrith--aren't people in their own right.

And I dunno, I got off topic, I was just gonna make a joke post about the fact that Alain could take a fox-woman as his queen, but not a human woman with some wings. But the fact is I've had a lot of thoughts about Albion and the angels, and how subtly the writing shows the culture around them, and like. It's so interesting, but also tragic, and hrm, the writing in the game, man. The writing gets me.

#unicorn overlord #unicorn overlord spoilers #this is...kinda unorganized I was definitely late-night rambling just to get some thoughts out #definitely not one of my better analysis posts but damn I have so many thoughts about the angels #I was totally normal about Albion don't worry that part of the game didn't have me feeling things at all. Totally normal about it.#(there are bound to be typos out the wazoo bc I only reread this once over)#damn the writing is so interesting though...#(also don't take me using Dinah as a counterexample here poorly I love her I think it's great she can become a queen she deserves it)#(it is insane she can become queen but in a good way)#oracle of lore

15 notes · View notes

david-powers-simp · 2 years ago

Text

Headcancon: how the lost boys keep clean

Alright so this is probably the most crack head fic I've ever written, but you know I've had this thought on my mind and i couldn't stop thinking about it so here we have its. Let's hope I don't suck at writing

So first let's talk hygiene. I swear on my life that despite what is said by the frog brothers. The boys are moderately clean. I know good and well they aren't filthy but they might not be the cleanest all the time,they are vampires for crying out loud.

However sensibly speaking the boys have to bath at least once a night do to them feeding. As we see they boys are exactly the most clean after feeding. They are covered in blood, looking awfully disheveled. Clothes torn,hair all messy.

Under no circumstances could they stroll down the boardwalk looking like that, even if, let's just say they return to the cave after feeding which I sort of doubt considering the amount of darkness they still have to prowl around. Driving home looking like that wouldn't be ideal.

So I feel strongly that the boys bathe after feeding. Which Paul and Marko absolutely love! Those two really enjoy getting clean.

But how do they get clean?

Im so glad you asked my friend. There are a few options really. First and for most, the boys could easily find a secluded part of the beach and jump in the water and wash up, this in particularly is Marko and Paul's favorite way of getting clean they really like the big open water and how fast and efficiently they can get clean, they also definitely get into a splashing fight. Dwayne absolutely destroys them both and 100% wins the splashing game. Even if there really is no way of "winning" Dwayne wins. Its safe to say Dwayne does enjoy the ocean as well he likes all the space and all the cool shells he finds is a plus too ( yes. Dwayne has a shell collection don't judge him). david on the other hand...he doesn't hate it but its his least favorite way of getting clean. For one david hates the cold he's also not the biggest fan of sand either. He will tolerate it especially since his brothers do enjoy it sm but if david had to pick it were they got cleaned it would not be the ocean. He does however like to join in on the splash fights he just acts like he doesn't.

if david did get his way his favorite way to get clean is a nice hot shower. And I know what you're saying. How does he shower? Now while the boy's cave doesn't have a shower, max's house does. So a good bit of the time especially in the winter. When the boys are dirty aka coverd in blood, they use max's shower at his house. Since max works at the video store at night its a breeze for the boys to get into his house and use his stuff.

Now David enjoys himself a hot shower. He can properly get clean while staying warm. He doesn't mind the fact he smells good after either. A shower gives him enough time to wash his hair thoroughly. So after words he can style it back. I feel like david rummages through max's medicine cabinet and steals his cologne. What can I say david likes smelling good.

Although david doesn't wash his hair everyday, he just doesn't like too. However he will do it at least twice a week.

Now that leaves dwyane. His favorite way of cleaning up is definitely a good warm bath. I don't want to hear it from any of you. I feel in my soul that dwayne loves baths, I mean its relaxing. The water has to be just right tho. dwayne is picking about the temperature and who can blame him.

He likes bubbles too. dwayne loves good smells so naturally he likes the sent of the soap and bodywash being a vampire and having enhanced senses makes bathes all the more delightful for him. While he's soaking in the tube he likes to have a good shave. This however is sometimes damn near impossible.

Since he can't see himself in a mirror he relies a lot on feeling his face and the stubble thats there and when he's managed to very carefully shave it off, once he believes he's gotten it all he'll run his hand all across his face to make sure its all smooth. Once his face is all shaved and smooth. Dwayne begins rinsing off and getting out.

There you have it my lovelies. 💖💫 :) I hope you guys enjoyed it. I think it honestly is a dumpster fire. Let me know what you think and how I can improve my writing id really appreciate it. :) But i hope you guys did like it. This is how I will be writing my headcanons I have for the boys. If you have any requests just send them too me. I want to try and write an even mix of headcanons, preferences and imagines but we shall see.

#the lost boys #paul tlb #david tlb #dwayne tlb #marko tlb #the lost boys 1987 #david the lost boys #paul the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #marko the lost boys

86 notes · View notes

zepskies · 1 year ago

Note

I just have to say, genuinely everything in the BMD-verse is some of the best stuff I’ve ever read, BMD has managed to climb it’s way up to being one of my all time favorite fics that I could endlessly re-read and I can’t thank you enough for that. It was so well written and so many subtle details went into making the word feel so real, to the point where I truly felt immersed in the plot and could clearly visualize everything in my head. This fic made me laugh, cry, and had me on the edge of my seat wanting to read more to see where everything went with these two. Reading it helped brighten my day when I wasn’t having the best one. Also I don’t think I’ve ever loved OC’s quite as much as I absolutely love Frank and Loco, you put so much world building and detail into this fic and it really shows so beautifully, you were able to encapsulate the personalities of each character so well, down to the little details in how they react to certain situations or things they’d be likely to say, all while still giving your OC’s just as much depth and personality, you even executed the character arcs so realistically and it was done so damn well. This fic truly felt like a masterpiece and I am so grateful that you decided to create it, so genuinely thank you!

Okay, I didn't expect to cry today but you managed it, lovely Anon. 🥹💚

I've actually been going through a roughish time in my personal life, so you sent me this amazing note at the perfect time...

I'm having a hard time forming actual words right now, but I'm so happy that Break Me Down has become one of your favorite stories, and most of all that it helped brighten your day when you weren't feeling so hot. I definitely have my comfort stories, books, movies as well.

I genuinely put my heart and soul into BMD from conception, to outlining, to writing and editing each chapter. Even now I look at those 19 chapters and can't believe it's something I actually wrote. I'm just a sucker for a redemption story, and after SB's character hooked me, something crazy told me that he should get his chance to become a real hero.

(Here are some more details you probably don't want/need to know about how BMD began. 😅):

After writing Checkerboard, @deans-spinster-witch knows, as I've credited her many times, but she encouraged me to write a "prequel" to expand on how SB might get to that level of character growth.

...And somehow, BMD became an "enemies to lovers" epic. 😂

Thank you also for loving Frank and Loco! I've said this before, but one of the best writing tips I've ever gotten about writing minor characters is this: Write them like they're the protagonists of their own stories.

Give them their own character arcs, however short or long, whether tragic or fulfilled, etc.

When they're in the scene, give them something important to do or say that furthers the plot.

If you can't name a character, 9/10, they probably don't need to be there.

Without both Frank and Loco, Ben and the reader wouldn't have made it through until the end. And those two (especially Frank) now live in my head alongside Ben and the reader and their ever-evolving story.

This fic truly felt like a masterpiece and I am so grateful that you decided to create it, so genuinely thank you!

Damn it, who's peeling onions?! 😭😭

You're so very welcome. 💚💚 It's an absolute pleasure to write for you guys, but also to express myself and get out these stories that live rent free in my head. 😘

(Btw: I totally respect that you're anonymous in my inbox, but feel free to comment on this and let me know who you are -- only if you feel comfortable! You absolutely made my day, hun. 💓)

#ask me stuff #BMD-verse thoughts #writing minor characters #How BMD began #Break Me Down #BMD verse #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x female reader #the boys #zepskies answers

19 notes · View notes

atopvisenyashill · 11 months ago

Note

I don’t get how you’re a Rhaenyra fan but a Dany hater 🤨 like Rhaenyra committed a lot of atrocities in the end.

I don’t hate Dany! She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s got some of the best magical scenes in the series - she’s got some of the best scenes in the series, period, her last dragon fever dream in agot is like top 10 for me easy - and she’s a character that is conceptually similar to like, theon or ned or cersei in that she is really firmly rooted and informed by her past traumas, and I love characters like that from a writing standpoint. I have definitely talked more negatively about her bc it’s basically impossible to not be constantly inundated with takes i feel are just the most vapid or deranged or whatever takes in the world, but you can say that for anyone who feels anything at all about dany bc she is a very polarizing character! i think some of her narrative is frustratingly written, i do not mesh well with a large section of her fanbase, and i actively hate her show counterpart, but show dany is a vastly different character than book dany is (i mean just age alone, like with robb and jon, some of your sympathy evaporates bc they are too damn old to be acting this stupid). ultimately, a lot of the "hate" people think i feel for her is directed at what i feel are stupid opinions on her character or her show counter part's place in pop culture, or just like, normal analysis and critique that i do of every character in this series.

i will acknowledge that i tend to describe myself as "pro stark, pro blacks, pro smallfolk" so people know the general gist of what they're signing up for when they start interacting with me, but that is such a simple way of diluting all of my feelings for all of these characters. like "pro stark" in the sense that they are the most rational of the leaders we get in the main series, and have a connection to the land, people, and culture that is important, but i've pointed out plenty of times that robb's war is harmful to the people of the riverlands, regardless of whether he's justified or not, and i've been posting about how ned and cat fail to properly prepare their children (and the north in general) for Real World Politics, to the detriment of their kids. "pro stark" in the sense that i thought show dany wasn't just deranged from season 1 she was also wildly unlikable and nauseatingly stupid, you could see her "dark dany" turn coming from a mile away because these were not subtle writers interested in exploring why dany would decide "dragons plant no trees" and instead focused on her looking hot while she set shit on fire (same way they were less interested in looking at why jon failed as lord commander and had him be the action hero fighting at hardhome). definitely most of my aggravation at "dany" is at the show version, and while i do get why people feel that if you're a proponent of the "dark dany" theory that you're "anti" dany, but I am not anti book dany! i just think like rickon stark, shireen baratheon, jojen reed, aegon vi, etc she is very much doomed to die a very tragic death.

and i do not like characters based on how little atrocities they commit lmao, like, if i were to list my top 10 favorites, probably half of them have committed some extreme war crime. theon is a rapist! jaime is a shitty ass partner to cersei, a deadbeat dad despite living in the same building as his kids, and a failed child murderer! bran is mind raping hodor, understands on some level that what he's doing is morally repugnant, and keeps doing it anyway! pretty much every targaryen i like has committed some sex crime heinous enough to get them life + 25!! bobby b raised joffrey!!! i know i facetiously say shit like "rhaenyra did nothing wrong" but i'm well aware she's out here torturing people, same as like 75% of the characters we interact with in the whole series. so "rhaenyra commits atrocities" or "dany commits atrocities" is just not how i look at these characters (and not to get into stan wars here, but good lord, "rhaenyra commits atrocities" she is not the only or even the worst person in the dance! like 85% of these people suck and the ones who don't - which is limited to like, helaena, jace, nettles, and addam almost exclusively - either die or disappear because That's The Point. also, i was raised SDA alright, you gotta be a really compelling character for me to get past being super catholic, it's in my dna to be a spiteful hater of catholics!! catelyn stark is my one exception to this rule folks!!!!).

as to why i like rhaenyra - for one thing, saying that emma d'arcy is a better actor than emilia clarke is like saying cillian murphy is better than bradley cooper. they are just not on the same level lol. i definitely have my critiques of show!rhaenyra's writing but i also think she's miles better written than show!dany and her story is also more interesting because her writing is much less nonsensical. for another, i think book rhaenyra and book dany are wildly similar characters (for a reason!) meant to be in conversation with each other, and i very much enjoy what that conversation is saying about power, nobility, gender, sex, war, and identity. on a more technical level, while fire and blood is a mess writing and world building wise, the one thing it does better than the essos chapters (because it doesn't take place in essos, it takes place in westeros, and george struggles much less fleshing out "western poc" than he does "eastern poc" ya know) is that rhaenyra is not the only insight we get into the conflict. the people she loves, the people she rules, the people she harms, they all have a pov and a voice in a way that missandei, irri, jhiqui, rakharo, jhogo, grey worm, on and on, do not, the way that basically every single character that isn't westerosi except mmd (who was killed in book one) is not afforded. it's just a lot easier (as of right now) to talk about rhaenyra as a character because we have her beginning, middle, and end and the povs of people who hated her vs dany, we have the beginning and middle, a lot of arguing over what her end will be, and no one in the narrative as of yet who has even the barest criticism of her decisions besides cardboard cut out villainous slavers.

so like...no i do not hate dany, and i don't feel it's necessary to asterisk every post about rhaenyra with "i know putting a hit out on nettles and addam, locking the smallfolk into KL without easing their burdens of the war, positing herself as an exception to male line primogeniture instead of pushing for absolute primogeniture, and using torture on tyland and vaemond's family was fucked up, i acknowledge that she's flawed" when i talk about her, nor do i feel the need to defend my position on dany on the off chance one of her more annoying stans finds my posts and decides i hate women because i said i didn't like her sexual relationship with irri.

#asks #anons #anti daenerys targaryen #i tag 'anti x' so people can filter the posts out. like i have 'anti x' tags blocked bc some of the opinions of my moots annoy me alkjdfs #but i otherwise love and cherish those moots ya know!! with very few exceptions i don't actually hate any of the characters.#they're deep! they're well written! they feel very real! it's not 'anti' to think a character who burns people alive is a villain tho!!#grrm critical #fire and blood critical #f&b critical #i can't remember what i tag that as #i hope this rant makes sense #anti game of thrones

19 notes · View notes

cypanache · 2 years ago

Note

okay darling. for the wip ask game that you tagged me in. I know it's been a minute since you posted it, so feel free to ignore, but i'd like to know more about either 'date my wife' or 'raised a sith'– you pick! since I know all about the obidala stuff, and very little about those, i'm curious.

Ugh, I've been so heads down on Countdown, I'm finally getting around to going through my ask box so apologies for the insanely late reply on this.

I talked about the 'date my wife' wip here. So let's do the raised a sith au, because I'm insanely excited about this one, and it even has a title now "Chirality".

So after repeatedly and painstakingly walking back sexual tension in like every draft of every obidala fic I have ever written, because they're just so damn good and they wouldn't, not yet ... I really just wanted to let Obi-Wan and Padme be unrepentantly hot for each. So I asked myself what would it take for them to stop worrying so much about it all and the answer as you so eloquently put it, is 'they could be evil, as a treat'

That's it, that's the fic.

No really. Imagine a world where Obi-Wan got left on Bandomeer by Qui-Gon and then eventually rescued by Dooku and taken as his apprentice and later left the order with him. Meanwhile imagine a Padme who never left Coruscant after her appeal to the Senate in TPM and instead stayed under house arrest while she watched her world ravaged by the Trade Federation with Palpatine stoking her outrage and anger into something truly spectacular. But to the galaxy she still presents as Padme Amidala as we know here during AotC. So drop poor baby Anakin into the events of AotC and The Clone Wars between these two opposing dark proteges who are sort of allies and sort of adversaries, but are definitely obsessed with each other, watch them ruin him.

I honestly feel a little bad tagging this obianidala because its me, so its definitely very obidala focused and Anakin is in way way over his head being manipulated and gaslit at every turn, but it is there at least as an implied future state so there you go. Also its a SithAU so while I don't write terribly explicit or kinky sex, all the warnings for mind games, manipulation, violence, unnegotiated everything, and basically terrible people who should absolutely be kept away from Anakin Skywalker at all costs, but won't be. Sexy, though not explicit, excerpt below the cut:

He’s waiting for her when she gets back to her apartments. Lounging on the bed like he owns the place. Utterly unconcerned with the fact that in less than a day’s time all of the Senate will be calling for his head along with his Master’s.

One of her handmaidens comes over to assist her and Padme grits her teeth in irritation as she takes in the blank expression, the clumsy movements. Oh, she despises when he does this. True, it was amusing the first time or two. And she has always had a weak spot for power in all its flavors. But these days she just finds it tiresome. They’re utterly useless for anything more complicated than the most basic of tasks for hours after he does this.

Dismissing Eirtae with a wave of her hand she rounds on him in a huff.

“I wish you would stop doing that. You know you don’t have anything to worry about. They’re all completely loyal. I’ve made sure of it.”

Obi-Wan grins, vulpine and vicious and absolutely unrepentant. “To you. They’re all completely loyal to you. I doubt there’s a single one among them who would spare me a second thought.”

“That’s not true, there’s at least three who would strangle their own mother for the opportunity to put a blaster to your temple and pull the trigger.” Turning, she holds out her arms and then looks back over her shoulder, imperious and expectant. “Well? You can hardly expect me to get out of this on my own.”

He doesn’t. That’s the entire point of this petty little show of his. He likes the opportunity to undo her, deconstruct the facade she presents to the galaxy layer by careful layer. Until she’s laid bare in more ways than one.

Coming up behind her, he trails his fingertips up the length of each arm before he settles his hands against the line of the high collar in a way that from anyone else would be a threat. But he could force choke her from halfway across the room and they both know it. And they both know Palpatine would make him regret it for the rest of his very long and very painful life if he ever tried.

She smiles at him in the mirror and presses back a little into the joints of his fingers calling his bluff. “You know we debated putting a bounty on your head this afternoon.”

He tsks. “How very uncivilized.”

“Yes, well, attempting to exterminate the entire Jedi Council does tend to provoke people’s ire.”

“Oh, is that the version they’re selling to the Senate?”

She spins in grasp, indignant now, “Don’t be insulting. You know better than anyone how useless the Jedi are at politics. It’s the version I’m selling to the Senate. Very effectively I might add.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” he says, skimming a kiss once against her mouth. Then deepening it as his hands come up to her headdress and she feels him begin to remove the hairpins holding it in place one by one. It’s not precisely what she had in mind when she told him to undress her, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t be Obi-Wan if he wasn’t always looking for the loophole and Padme allows it. It’s been months since she’s been kissed well. Whatever Anakin’s potential, both as a lover and a darksider, and it is glorious, it’s all raw and unrealized, it will take her years to mold him to her liking. Pleasurable work perhaps but work to be sure. Sometimes a lady just wishes to rest on laurels.

Particularly when her laurels are so very, very appealing.

Obi-Wan frowns against her mouth, “Your shields are down.”

“Are they?” She asks innocently, biting at his bottom lip with just a little too much force in punishment for both starting and stopping without permission. “And did you like what you heard?”

He pulls back. “You know I didn’t.”

She turns away with a huff, and removes the last few pins herself, running her fingers through her hair to free it and denying him the pleasure. “Oh yes, you’ve made your feelings on the matter quite clear. His arm, Obi-Wan? Was that really necessary?”

“Maybe not, but it was fun.”

Padme scowls at him over her shoulder.

He just laughs. A cocky, contemptuous sound that sets her teeth on edge and her blood on fire, “Oh dear, are you upset I scratched up your pretty plaything? And here I thought you were a fan of my work. I even signed this one for you.”

“And if I thought it had anything to do with me, rather than breaking the boy Qui-Gon Jinn actually wanted enough to take as an apprentice, I might be flattered. Besides–” she gives him her most petulant pout, “I didn’t even get to watch. You know that’s my favorite part.”

#obidala #obianidala #fic: chirality #oad sith au #cy writes things #sith obi wan #sith padme #cy answers things #wip ask game

41 notes · View notes

justporo · 1 year ago

Note

From your fanfic Q&A prompt! 13, 14, 15 and 18! <3 :D

Thanks for asking, Anon! From this Q&A thing.

13. What are some must-read fanfics in your fandom? Why do you admire these, and how have they impacted your works?

I'm not nearly reading enough fanfics about Astarion - which is solely because I have too much shit to do... So it's mostly one-shots I come across.

I guess, for one, you absolutely HAVE to read @tripleyeeets A Lover's Folly because wow (and also there's another story developing)... Their writing is amazing, the way the characters are written... also their writing deeply motivates me to get better because I feel like I have much to learn in terms of articulation and just in a technical sense.

@sweatandwoe has written some amazing one-shots for requests and wrote this one here which desperately made me want to write a story with ascended Astarion and all the angst and slow-burn in the world.

@lokasxnna has written this wonderful piece about Astarion and his pointy ears (and the title is so amazing): To Hold Me Like Water And I just love the idea and the way a soft, intimate moment is shared.

@thatfreshi writes very emotional one-shots that explore vulnerable moments, that sometimes go as far as making my chest hurt: Not if You Collect Them Like Ex-Lovers (Enjoy the damn pain, y'all!) And that really made me want to include more moments in my stories where Astarion and Tav deeply connect on an emotional level

Alright, some more questions, this will be long, so rest goes under the cut:

14. What aspects of your creative process do you enjoy the most? Which are most challenging?

Most? Thinking about it, immersing myself in the world and the characters, down to the last little details. Coming up with stupid or very emotional stuff and funny (at least to me) dialogue. Most challenging is definitely finding the time to work on stuff - atm I could really just keep writing all day. Also... the English words won't English sometimes although it's gotten better already (I think??). But yeah, cliché, I know, but: English isn't my first language - so... I'm sorry.

15. What programs/tools do you use while writing?

I write in Word and use OneDrive so I can work on different devices (might move over to GoogleDocs soon to make that easier). Dict.cc is my best friend in terms of vocabulary, when I don't remember exactly if I've chosen the right word or just can't English for a hot moment... Also Spotify stays ON while writing. That's it I guess.

18. Are there any themes or tropes that you enjoy writing? Any themes or tropes you hate writing?

I can't say that I've written awfully much yet, so let's go with what I think I'd like or hate. I definitely like enemies-to-lovers and slowburn, a good grumpy meets sunshine trope, grumpy characters, sassy characters, gothic themes and environments, the gentleman villain trope... List could go on I think. Things I really don't enjoy is like major miscommunication and when characters just won'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT WTF IT IS THAT BOTHERS THEM, UUUGH (this is the worst really and makes a lot for lazy writing when trying to create drama, imho) But I can't really think of something else that I'd really hate (other than stuff that's ofc not legal or shit like that).

#poro answers

11 notes · View notes

cedarbranch · 8 days ago

Note

okay so: Playing With Matches, Sweet Tooth, Truth or Dare (my beloved), Convicted Criminals of Thought (my beloved!), Moth To Light? sorry i'm pretty much obsessed w all of your fics. humiliating . send ask

omg this is extremely flattering... i have stans... stroke my ego some more why don't you anon /j

this is going under a cut, i'm about to YAP

sweet tooth: i wrote this one for a holiday exchange in the gm server i was part of at the time! (cat, if you're out there, i think about your story about being mistaken for a lush corporate tester every damn time i walk into that store). i used to really dislike writing for prompts so it was a mark of how much i loved that little community (and how much it energized me) that i worked up the nerve to write something like this, lol. i had also never written a coffee shop au before. michael's dislike of coffee and subsequent anxiety over what to order was 100% a projection from me, LMAO, i was like how can i write a coffee shop au when i hate coffee and have no idea how coffee shops work?? (oh, i can make that the whole premise!) i had to watch a few youtube tutorials on how to do latte art so i could make sure i was describing it well. oh, and the hot chocolate gerry gives michael is my personal spice blend that i love to use in hot cocoa! protip: hot milk, melt a heap of chocolate chips directly into it (with a sweetness level of your choice) then top with cinnamon, nutmeg, and just a little bit of allspice. god tier.

also, i'm writing this while drinking a latte, so needless to say I've Changed.

truth or dare: okay this is hilarious to look back on because i... CANNOT remember for the life of me what possessed me to write it. i think this was something i started spitballing in the gm server and then everyone went "CEDAR IF YOU DON'T WRITE THIS I'LL AAHDHSFHDFHSGJK" so, i got enabled, basically. i'm pretty sure this was also written when the trans gerard keay AO3 tag wasn't an official archive tag yet and i was trying to brute-force it into existence... there were a couple tags i did this for (see also: it/its pronouns for michael the distortion, monsterfucker gerard keay). i was kinda making it my mission to churn out enough fic under these tags that they got recognized by the tag wranglers, lol, especially trans gerry. because i started writing gm SO early i was like "i have the opportunity to shape the fanon dynamic here and i am making SURE everyone sees gerry as trans, dammit!" this fic was also a milestone for me because i think it might've been the first pure pwp i ever wrote :) still not something i do very often because i am so frequently led astray by Plot, but it's nice to have in my skill set!

moth to light: MY BELOVED!! excluding current wips, this is the fic i am most proud of. it definitely marked a shift in my writing where i was starting to introduce relationships that felt less fanfic-y/easily romantic, and more akin to the dynamics that compelled me so much in the various source materials i interacted with. i've already discussed the main points of what i was doing with this story in various ask/ao3 comment responses, but the core of it was about monstrosity and self-acceptance, how gerry could fall in love with a monster, and the uneasy space where trust and fear coexist. there are definitely some things i'd change about it if i could - i think certain bits are a bit choppy and rushed, scene transitions were not a fully developed skill for me - but overall i think the dynamic between gerry and michael is what makes it hold up so well. and i also can't help but look back at it fondly because that kind of dynamic is SO characteristic of my writing now, and i consider this fic to be the first time it really emerged.

i also think it has some neat prose and exchanges of dialogue... at this point i'd already written several fics that captured the mind-breaking physicality of the spiral, and it was a challenge to keep finding new ways to express that in words without it becoming repetitive - but a very fun and stimulating challenge! i laugh because this, too, is something that's become characteristic of me. turns out i just really enjoy trying to capture fantastical, overwhelming mental-physical sensations on the page. i think physicality is a big part of my narrative voice and i also enjoy writing in extremes, so it makes a lot of sense why i like it so much!

there were a few points that everything else in this fic grew around. the entire exchange leading up to "i could change your mind, i think" was one of them. see also, "it's not the spiral i belong to, it's you." "that doesn't make you a monster" / "doesn't it, though." michael and gerry being protective of one another. gerry lost in the hallways - it was very important to me that michael actually come close to killing him at least once, and that the reader felt that danger. it was something that i felt was missing from gm fic at the time (and there was barely any fic to begin with - moth to light was the second ever gm fic on ao3 that broke 20k. i'm not sure how long you've been around, anon, but MAN those first couple years of being a gm shipper were wild).

i also had a ton of fun setting up gerry's complicated pull toward michael!! it's romantic, but there's so much psychology beyond that. like, when he first finds out who michael used to be: "There are a hundred new questions bouncing around Gerry’s brain—what did Michael think of Gertrude, before she betrayed him? Why hasn’t he tried to take revenge on her now? Does he remember his descent into the Spiral? Did he know what was coming? Did it hurt to lose himself?" it's his own future he's scared about, and if he'll end up just like michael. i hope that came across.

ah... so fond of this one. i crack myself the hell up with how obvious it should've been that i'd wind up writing hannibal fic. a character who drives every conversation by responding with some indirect, metaphorical bullshit and a distinctive speech pattern? a character whose descent into monstrosity is well underway but he can't stop agonizing over whether he can tolerate that part of himself, much less embrace it - but his love interest's presence allows him to? a relationship dynamic where it's constantly uncertain whether one's intentions are lethal, and the answer always feels like "obviously yes" but also "obviously no"?? they're literally hannigram. hannigram is the fucking BLUEPRINT of this dynamic, i just didn't know it yet. i actually caught myself in one of my current wips a while back accidentally fucking recreating the michael-at-gerry's-throat "please don't" scene damn near word for word, and i thought to myself, HOLD ON,THIS VIBE FEELS A LITTLE FAMILIAR...

so yeah, uh, if you like the vibe of this fic, maybe watch hannibal?

convicted criminals of thought: i felt fucking insane when i was writing this one fr. it took me like 4 days, i think?? NEVER have i banged out 19k so fast.

the fic was mossstly just born from me loving the concept of beholding avatar powers used for smut and really, really wanting to write that with gerry, LOL. i didn't expect it to be so long and plotty, but the dynamic i wanted ended up requiring more setup than i originally thought it would... i was really trying to push the sexual tension and i was also taking a step into writing much more explicit kink than i had in the past. like moth to light, i would say this fic represented a turning point for me, because these days explicit d/s makes up most of what i write haha. turns out i'm just super into exploring power dynamics in fiction and using sex as a vehicle for said exploration. there are some things i'd write differently if i did it now... i wrote criminals during the era in which ~safe and communicative sex in fanfic~ was really being pushed online, so i made sure to include detailed discussions of boundaries. the fact that i wrote in the stoplight system makes me cringe a little now, but the saving grace that allows me to not care too much is that i do think it's in character for that version of gerry and michael. it's a very reasonable choice for a young man who's naive when it comes to both the supernatural and the sexual, and a more experienced dom with a protective streak. (these days, i'm firmly in the camp that no matter how insane the sex is, characters should not be negotiating their kinks onscreen unless it is in-character for them to both a) have the knowledge of kink required for such discussions in the first place, and b) initiate those discussions. obviously in REAL life these things should always be prioritized! but if i see a fanfic scene interrupted for two characters who are normally wildly emotionally stunted and non-communicative to go "wait, what's your safeword!!" it'll completely take me out of it... i also think this is just one aspect of a much broader issue with people being unwilling to make their characters (even morally gray/straight-up cruel characters) take actions that they view as unacceptable. i certainly struggled with this for a long time (more on that later) but thankfully i've gotten over it.

an unrelated detail for this one - the flesh monster gerry and michael encounter was inspired by the mindflayer in season 3 of stranger things :)

anddddd... yeah, there was supposed to be a sequel... technically there is, it's just that only ~75% of it exists. it features: workplace sex and edging, michael being a brat, collaring, new beholding abilities, and a new appreciation for degradation. i say this purely to be evil, because it's unlikely it'll ever get finished (oops). onto the pile of incomplete wips it goes, along with all the stranger things fics... i promise this pains me as much as it does you.

playing with matches: oh my darling magnolia verse, always on my mind. fun fact, the original title of this fic was "a journal of the plague year," one of the leitners referenced in tma. naturally, Certain Events Happened while i was writing the fic, and that title took on... new, unintended connotations!!! so i changed it (though i did keep referring to it as 'plague year' in my head for quite a while). i'm actually happy i changed it, though. obvious blase is such a great song for this gerry, and (if i ever FUCKING finish it!!) the agnes fic is titled after the very next lyric in the song, which is perfect for her + the fact that it tells much of the same story from her pov.

where to even start with this fic... there's so much going on. one of my lasting impressions was that it was a DEVIL to get gerry's characterization right... this is where i mention how i used to be really, really bad at letting my characters be bad people, haha. gerry thinks of himself as sooo prickly and mean in this fic but he really... isn't? very much at all? lmao. i literally had to go back in after the first draft and make him meaner and i STILL don't think i did enough. he was meant to be a lot sharper than he actually turned out to be. (Yet Another reason i hope i can return to the agnes fic eventually - we'll get to see more of a different side of gerry. honestly, with the way things unfolded, a lot of him being an asshole became just because he's stupid and inconsiderate rather than because he's mean. and i think that works, ultimately).

some scenes that came to me early and made me decide this fic needed to exist: gerry and agnes smoking on the roof, talking around jude. gerry laying in the road at night and stargazing. agnes burning woodchips. shaving agnes's head. the exchange between agnes and gerry leading up to "i'm tired of being angry" (this might have been the source of it all, though i can't quite remember now). breaking into chapman hall (this is something that my friend group actually did around the time i was writing the fic - i wasn't there, but i was so delighted by the photos that it ended up in the fic).

overall, a LOT of this fic was relishing in writing the first-year college experience after i had just gone through it. (well, more like 60% of it). i was writing it in my freshman year - spring 2020. the fall 2019 semester was honestly a highlight of my life that i'll always be nostalgic for... i found a family near-instantly and felt true joy and acceptance for possibly the first time, and then it was snatched away from me in the spring with covid evacuation. writing it out allowed me to kind of re-live it through the characters. magnolia university is a BLATANT copy of my own uni - to the point where multiple people from my school ended up reading the fic and commenting that they recognized it. zeeeero subtlety from me, lol. a lot of the physical settings and details are thinly-veiled adaptations from real life. the queer frat our gang attends parties at is, in fact, the one i was part of (with its name changed) - it may be a stretch characterization-wise, but it was too big a part of my college experience to leave out. (and yeah, the buzzcut queer who welcomes gerry in the first time he visits was a self-insert. just couldn't resist).

ex altiora, too, is heavily based on my own experience being in a band with my friends during college. i've been pretty upfront about that, haha. when they reference a song which is about "murder as a metaphor for internalized homophobia," that's a real song, it just has a different title and hasn't been released yet. should i have linked my irl music in my fic notes? mmm, maybe not, but i do like the idea that someone out there could enjoy my music after discovering it through my fic. if only we had more than 2 songs on spotify... the EP is about three years late now, but it SHOULD be out very early next year :')

anyway. as you may have guessed based on the scenes i highlighted earlier, agnes and gerry's relationship is reeeaally important to this fic (and the 'verse as a whole)... which is why i feel so damn bad that i've left what was really supposed to be a duology as just one fic!! the incomplete/unpublished agnes fic fills in so many gaps, it drives me crazy. i keep getting dragged into other hyperfixations and i really don't control what my ADHD lets me work on, but there is so, SO much more of this 'verse that hasn't seen the light of day. nearly every character has a ton of unpublished lore. melanie and georgie almost got their own fic. tim and sasha almost got their own fic. don't get me started on oliver - i get so mad at the gang when i think about him, he's got SO much going on that nobody ever notices just because he puts on a good front of being well put-together. obsessive perfectionism, borderline substance abuse, and situationship drama... (when he takes care of mike crew tripping balls at that one party? yeah, that's the start of something much bigger). julia and her relationship with her dad. the conflicts between julia and gerry because they're so upfront with the way they fight, but end up missing all the important underlying issues in the process. agnes. agnes. AGNES. HER INSANE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA. the undiagnosed autism and legitimate compulsive pyromania. her gender expression issues, her fucked relationship with jude... 15k of it in my google docs and that's not close to half the story.

i'm getting distracted as always being vague about what's not out there, so let me clarify some of what is. first and foremost, agnes's lighter is her coping mechanism. the first time gerry meets her, she's forced herself to go to a party because her parents demand her to be social, and gotten so drunk she threw up. humiliating. time to start a fire. when she goes to the first punk show with gerry and he tells her she looks like a catholic schoolgirl, it makes her want to scream. Unresolved Issues There. at that show, jude is rude to agnes, agnes nearly fights her in the pit, and jude is immediately enamored with her. the toxic yuri begins. their first hookup happens after the chapman hall break-in. jude is the one who shows her the rooftop spot where she later smokes witth gerry. she has very little sense of identity and jude gives her that, in the most destructive way possible. eventually, shaving her head is a desperate attempt to do something for herself instead of jude (she knows jude will hate it), but afterwards, she doesn't actually like it, and it feels like just another way that jude has driven everything in her life. jude cannot take responsibility for a damn thing, and she blames agnes's growing distance on the band, hence their later fight at band practice. after that, when julia follows agnes, agnes has her first real vulnerable conversation about it - which she's been trying to do with gerry for a while, but gerry's fucking awful at talking about feelings and has barely even picked up on it. this is what pisses julia off so bad, she feels like he's been a bad friend to agnes. agnes and julia get very close after this, especially over the summer. (agnes isn't mad at gerry at all, to be clear - julia is mostly projecting because she also wants more intimacy in her relationship with gerry, but he never gives it to her. around michael, he's warm and open and communicative... but he doesn't show the same growth with his friendships. rip julia).

ugh, they're all so REAL to me. thanks for giving me the excuse to rant, i always love to <3 feel free to ask me whatever you want or message me directly, i'm an open book!

#also really nice to get positive feedback about my tma fics even though i'm not writing them anymore #it's like a reminder that. hey! even though you're writing hannibal now that doesn't mean your older work Ceases To Exist!!#helpful bc it does feel that way sometimes :')) thank you again #answered #sweethearts #magnolia

1 note · View note

ocean-anchored · 1 year ago

Text

Dear future self... November 13, 23

I haven't written an actual update on things in a while now. I've been pretty mentally burnt out, especially emotionally with the whole Zack situation which I'm not going to touch on, so I thought I'd get another recap out. Work. Well things with Ed have still been going really well, we've downsized back down to just us two essentially as a team, things with Jordan didn't work out which is ok because he was tough to deal with and Orlando sometimes is in the background but wants to do his own thing. Ed still appreciates me hugely and encourages me a lot so things are still really great. Hoping our Funding might come through in the next week or two cause we could possibly go to Florida the last week of the month which would be awesome. GSU is kind of at a hold which has taken a lot of work off my plate. I'm in more meetings down which is great, keeps me busy but sometimes I wish I had a bit more work, but the flexibility is amazing, I really can't complain, he takes really good care of me. Things with Danny aren't good. I've been saying now for like 6 months that his company isn't going to last long, which still is true. I don't understand most of his business decisions, he's just so all over the place and brutally annoying and hard to deal with. He makes my life and work very very hard, always changing procedures etc and then micro managing when Chrystal & I have never been an issue in the 5-6 years we've been there. I already knew we shouldn't have gone into the meeting 3 weeks ago because he was in sour mood already, but I bit my tongue that meeting a lot, till he continued to push my buttons and nit pick everything so badly so I decided to comment on how he doesn't follow his own damn processes which resulted in him getting very angry and essentially raising his voice yelling at me and cut me off multiple times for the stupidest thing that also had no relevance because HE changed his stupid procedure 6 months before then. Anyways, I've been dodging him since, I guess we'll see if he ever apologizes, right now its just easy money for me to go in, do my work and leave so whatever. I finally met a new girl friend from Bumble, Sandra, last night for a drink and she's so sweet. I was super intimidated initially because shes's super pretty & would be labeled as one of those super hot fake looking girls which she's SO down to earth. We had so much more in common than I imagined, it was really wild talking about relationships, going to therapy, attachment styles, and what growing up in a narcassistic household was like. I don't think I've personally met anyone that has had a "worse" story than I have, people have always looked at me funny when I say things I dealt with growing up because no one could relate, but she definitely topped mine and it was baffling. She's really strong and knows her worth now which is incredible to see what she came from and who she was. She's really sweet and we had a great time so I'm really happy to be adding her to my circle, hopefully someone I can grow with over the years. It was mine & Ambers 1 year anniversary yesterday, she did remember which was nice as she's in Dominican right now. Man I just can't say enough how much I love that girl though, she's really my little soul mate. It's nice to have some other girls though cause sometimes I feel like she can't really relate to my relationship issues because she's been with Naythan forever, which is amazing but just sometimes hard for me to talk about with her so thats why it was so nice to connect with Sandra. Things are good with Sasha still as well, had a nice dinner out a week ago with her an Shruti & we're going to the grape escape this weekend together which should be fun. I definitely have got some really good girls around me that I'm really thankful for, our relationships are really growing and strengthening and I couldn't be more grateful.

#personal #dear future self #life update #dearfutureself #journal update #monthly update

0 notes

shinneth · 1 year ago

Text

Hoooo-leeeeee crap, I love this! And honestly, it matches very well with how I pictured the scene in my head at the time of writing. It's actually one of my own favorite parts to have written (which is saying something, considering the sheer amount of scenes in Trifecta overall).

Even though Brandon's big motivator for getting his Frontier Brain job was to remove himself from the source of his agony (that being Andrea's death), the picture you added is a nice touch. Because Brandon is definitely not above being hypocritical and taking a good amount of Andrea pictures out of this house to put in his pyramid, because if nothing else, her untimely demise and everything she was to Brandon's family is a great motivator in mister Pyramid King himself to never falter in is decision and to keep pressing forward.

I'm sure he needed some visual reminders of his late wife just to keep at his job abroad, away from the kids, for the several years he's been entrenched into the career. And actually... he'd need a picture of Andrea at this point in the story more than ever, considering this scene took place after Brandon failed in the mission he left his post for. He's gonna be lost for a while, trying to find a better justification to not come back empty-handed. So looking to his wife for strength to maintain persistence would be a fitting touch!

I'd say my procrastination actually helps him a lot now, since we do have extra canonical Regi species for him to pursue, but I've still not written in a hot minute--

Pictures like yours are what I'd point to if I had to succinctly describe the nature of Brandon and Paul's relationship - that scene overall was sorta made to hammer that in, but having a visual makes it all the better.

If you don't mind, I'd love to add this piece to the AO3 version of Trifecta, where I've littered relevant fanarts made for me over the years to matching scenes! ❤️

I really can't thank you enough for this, though! It's a lovely piece, the perspective perfectly matches how I saw the scene in my head (that being that you really just see the backs of Brandon and Paul while they watch the sunrise, seldom showing their faces), and it's just the highest degree of heartwarming to, even now, still get fanart of this story, despite its inactivity. it also still isn't dead until I say so.

The most rewarding part of this, even more so than the fanart, is you telling me how my story has influenced your own writing. That it was something you looked forward to even if that guilt stabs deeper with my own lazy ass and made you happier for taking the time to read it. Because in all honesty, I have a hard time rereading a lot of my own work. Not necessarily out of shame or thinking it's crap (that's reserved for the fics I made during my teenage years!), but because it's just so much to get through. Definitely a curse I still carry to this day. But even in spite of that, you got something out of my work and it's inspiring you to make your own. In the end, that's the greatest honor any writer could have short of having an IP to profit off from.

It's an honor knowing my indulgence in a headcanon that, at one time, seemed so damn plausible that many of us thought it was actually inevitable, still has lasting appeal and still sparks creativity in those who take the time to read it. Really, it can't be overstated how much of an honor it is to have Trifecta still remembered fondly even now, let alone receiving fan work for it. It's something I'll treasure till the end of my days!

"Thank you. I wouldn't have expected your unconditional company at this hour." "I... just needed to think. That's what you're doing anyway." "Like it or not, you are your father's son for certain. I would have claimed such an obvious lie at your age."

So here's my newest drawing, fanart of a Pokémon fanfiction called 'Travels of the Trifecta!' by @shinneth which can be found on AO3 and Fanfiction.net (hope I got everything xD)

As a Teenager, I loved this story and couldn't wait for another chapter. I also tried to measure the amount of words I'd write for my own stories with the help of this fanfiction, so it was helpful all the way xD

One of my favorite scenes is the one where Paul wakes up in the Battle Pyramid and goes to watch the sunrise with his father Brandon. Sadly, he's not officially his father, but I always loved this theory in the anime. It's not even that far off, just look at their eyes and face, even Reggie is similar to Brandon.

To the right is a picture of Paul's mother, who sadly passed away in the story, but I felt like it would be a little bit more heartwarming, seeing that she's still by his side, another theme the story plays with.

Anyways, hope ya like it and see you soon! Have a nice day!

#creoterative #travels of the trifecta #art for me #trifecta art for me #pokeani #paul #pokemon paul #shinji #pokemon shinji #pyramid king brandon #jindai #hnnnnnghhhh gawd I don't deserve these nice things #still always appreciated!!#best of luck to you on your literary endeavors!

39 notes · View notes

a-dozen-moderate-fragments · 4 years ago

Text

This isn’t going to be a manifesto on healing or mental health or any of those things, and not because I don’t have years of personal experience in those areas, but rather because the only experience I can talk about is personal. The things that worked for me aren’t guaranteed to work for anyone else, but they’re all I have. I just want to write down a bunch of stuff I’m thinking about. The story goes a little something like this:

Up until somewhere around two years ago I was very depressed – and I think it started when I was ten or so? One of the things that makes this so tricky to talk about is that I don’t remember most of it and it feels like I only woke up a few years ago. But that’s for another time. What matters today is that for a pretty decent chunk of my life, to varying degrees, I was not doing so great in the general head region. Around the middle of high school (so like 15-16 years old) this showed up as a gradually worsening spiral into self-hatred, suicidal ideation, and a general lack of function that reached its extreme early senior year (18 yrs old), with a generous helping of shitty behavior throughout. I’ll spare the details, but to briefly summarize: an attempt, a deliberately anonymized and untraceable plea for help, two days of protective hospitalization, and three very awkward sessions with a therapist, with whom I did not even slightly cooperate (lmao Sarah I’m sorry for being such an obstinate little shit, and to anyone who was here for the other blog at the time and saw what I wrote about the experience, you deserve the employee discount), and to an extent those things helped, but, and weird flex incoming, I think what really helped me recover my mind and pull my schoolwork and personal relationships out of the nosedive I’d put them in was laundry. Let me explain.

I started doing my own laundry around age 12. No particular reason; that’s just when I decided I was a ✨big boy✨ or whatever the fuck and asked my mom to teach me how to do it. And for a while it was entirely insignificant, just a thing I did in between all the other things I did. After my \\epic crisis moment// though, the task became more significant. As I sat with the flaming rubble of a self I’d left me, I knew three things: that I wanted to take this wreck and twist it into someone better, that I didn’t have the tools to do the job or even an idea of where to look for them, and that I’d start in the laundry room. The person I’d been had in every measurable way fallen the heck apart, but for some reason none of my issues interfered too badly with my ability to do laundry. Admittedly, it did often happen far closer to the last minute than it needed to, but regardless it always got done. No matter how much of a crisis I was in, by god I was going to at least be having that crisis in clean clothes. So when it came time to rebuild anew, that’s where I started. While I was gathering my dirty clothes to put in the wash, maybe I’d also pick up those papers off the floor, or maybe I’d glance through my email inbox while I was waiting for the dryer so I could have a few hours to prepare myself before I had to actually write an email. It took months and months of concentrated work and lots of fragile progress, but eventually, building outwards from “I am capable of doing laundry,” I made my way into one (1) reasonably stable and functioning human.

There were other factors, of course. Another big thing I did was to surround myself with better things. I removed myself as much as possible from people who might bring me back into my old patterns, and as much as possible surrounded myself with stories of positivity and growth and healing, and I learned to sing, and I found people both real and fictional to live for, and if I’m being honest? Part of it was being here on tumblr reading posts about cherry pies and flowers in the concrete and monsters and heroes blended into one, and I’m also sure there’s symbolism in the laundry ritual to dig into about cleansing and wiping away past transgressions and all that christian bullshit, but all of that stuff’s not really what I’m interested in here. I know at the start I said I only can talk about myself, but I think it’s useful to talk about what I did in general terms, to examine how a broken person with no idea how to mend can do so. These are what I take away from my experience with forcefully rebuilding myself: If you’ve only got one solid thing, you screw in a handhold and cling to it for all you’re worth. It can be the smallest or most unrelated thing and it does not matter; it will still crack open the door to further growth. It’s a fundamentally self-driven effort that takes a long time, but it gets a little easier if there’s another person in the equation, whether they be a friend, a family member, or even a fictional character. It’s far too easy to get frustrated with how little progress you seem to be making and give up, but having another person to fight for so they can have a better version of you can counter that. It might not be the 100% healthiest thing to define yourself by how you benefit others, but it helps. Bonus points if one of those people in the equation is a certified mental health professional. Be aware of what your subconscious is telling you as you go. You’re already in a state of reconstruction, so if there’s something you need to change, this is a good time to do it. If there’s something you find yourself idly thinking about a lot, examine it (hint hint trans hint. Not that that’s an obligatory part of this whole process but like. It was for me lmao). It’s hard and it sucks and progress is not linear nor is it guaranteed to stick 100% of the time but I promise it is so worth it and there will come a day when you no longer feel in danger of slipping and I’m proud of how far you’ve come and how far you’ll go.

And I don’t really have anything meaningful to say but as shit has this year has been in general, for the first time I remember I’m happy that I’m alive and I’m so glad I was able to claw my way to this point and I know I’ve got much farther to go but – and this is a radical statement for me – I genuinely do love who I’ve become and I’m excited to see where I go next, how much more genuinely and readily I can love and how many people I can care about and bring with me.

#sam speaks #soft bitch hours #again I've got nothing especially meaningful to say about all this I've just had these thoughts in my head for a while #and also hot damn! that's the most I've written in a while and definitely more than I intended to when I sat down #there's undoubtedly some typos in there but I'm not reading that back to fix them #also I'm sorry about my obsession with the comma. one day I'll learn that twelve clauses is too many for one sentence but alas #not this day #long post #anyway we now return you to your regularly scheduled pile of reblogs

1 note · View note

extravaguk · 4 years ago

Text

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

wordcount: 15k

genre: summer!au, ex high school classmaters, kinda frenemies to lovers, tattoo artist!&piercing artist!jungkook, popular!reader

rated: m (fluff - smut - angst)

warnings: you broke jungkook's heart you bitch!! , oral sex (m&f), protected sex (shocking tbh), CL as your bestie it doesnt get better than that! idk i dont wanna spoil too much

author's note: fucking finally dude!! i've been writing this since february but school was kicking my ass. now that i finished my exams and mercury is in gemini i was able to finish it. if you read this, i hope you enjoy it!

Inkphoria

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping the flyer too tightly, rumpling the paper in your hand until you're pretty much sure it's ruined. It's the first day of June, and it's already too hot. The sun and humid weather are causing beads of sweat to form in your hairline and your white tank top to stick to your skin. Your jean shorts didn't feel this uncomfortable a few hours ago and you're sure the heat is causing your mascara to transfer to your eyelids and lower lashline. You've never needed a slushie and a smoke this bad in forever, even if you knew the later would make your parents lose their shit.

Inkphoria

You read it again. Your brain is trying to guess what font its written in, an excuse to try to steady your heart beat until your nerves ease a little and you can finally gather the courage to step into the damn shop. You've noticed a few people passing by giving you strange looks because maybe it hasn't been fifteen minutes. Perhaps you've been unmoving like an idiot in the middle of the street for longer than you want to admit.

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

'Its not that much of a big deal. It's not even that painful, trust me.'

You wish you could trust your best friend, but your best friend is also the same woman who assured you Cats was the movie of the year. Yes, not 'Cats: The Musical'. 'Cats', the movie.

'And this could be a great start to get out of your comfort zone and start living your life exactly the way you want to, not the way people expect you to. Not the way your family wants you to, not the way Adam wanted you to.'

But although her credibility could sometimes be questionable - like that time she also told you she'd tried marmite and 'honestly, it's not as bad as people make it out to be'-, you also didn't trust anybody in this world as much as you trusted her. She had always been your entire support system, the only one around you who never sugarcoated, who always treated you as an equal, who was always there for you to help you discover yourself and, at the same time, remind you of who you were.

'And it's gonna look so hot, too.'

That's it. Sticking the wrinkled flyer on your back pocket, your feet finally start moving. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing open the door.

The first thing you notice is that, thankfully, the shop is empty. The second thing you notice is the bright sky blue walls, a green undertone peaking through. Your eyes scan nervously the interior. Frames with tattoo designs and people modeling other different designs decorate the walls, some skateboards also hanging from the ceiling. A few plants in the corner, and two leather couches on either side of the room. Your scanning stops on the counter, where a girl with short, platinium hair and -what you guess is- the eighty percent of her body inked. Face included. She's been looking at you, a smirk tugging at her lips. Her tone is amused when she speaks

"Hi." she says. "You can come closer, you know? We don't bite."

Great. As if you couldn't feel more out of place, apparently you also couldn't look more out of place.

"Sorry." you gulp as you walk forward. "It's my first time doing anything like this."

She laughs this time, but it's not mean. It's not mocking, thank God, and the smile she sends you is as warm as the weather, friendly, luckily helping you calm down a bit. "A virgin, huh? JK's gonna love this." your eyes jump in surprise, but she's fast to wave her hands in front of you. "Just a joke. So, first time getting a tattoo. You have something in mind, honey?"

"Um, no. Not a tattoo. Not yet, I think." you wet your lips, regretting not reaplying chapstick before stepping inside. "A piercing."

"Oh! Cool!" she claps her hands, too excited for your own taste, pulling from under the counter a catalogue. "So, where will it be? Cartilogue? Nose? A lot of people are getting their septums pierced right now, though, so you might-"

"Nipples. Like, one of them."

Her gaze finds yours in surprise, although her face swiftly transforms again into an amiable expression. "Now, that's badass. Alright!" she skims through the pages of the catalogue until she finds the nipple piercing collection. You scratch your head before wiping your forehead sweat-free. "You can pick either barbells or hoops, although barbells heal faster and they don't move around as much. There's different kinds of metal, too. Gold or platinium. If your skin is sensitive, I recommend titanium. It's hypoallergenic and not as problematic."

The blonde keeps talking as you nod your head, a smile making its way into your face while silently thanking her for her easygoing personality. It quickly makes you feel comfortable and stupid for being so terrified of doing this.

Once you decide, settle on the cost and sign the papers, she stands up from the stool she'd been sitting on. "Ok, I'll go tell my coworker. He's been sketching tattoos all morning, it's time he gets to work!" she laughs, but suddenly your smile banishes and your throat shuts down.

"He?" your alarmed tone halts her motions and she looks back at your frightened expression.

He? A he is going to pierce your nipple? You're about to let a random stranger, a HE, see and touch one of your boobs and then pierce a needle through one of your nipples?

"Oh, baby, don't worry. I'd do it myself if I knew how to, but I only do tattoos. Most of our staff are on summer vacation so it's mostly just him and I. If you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable, you can wait until september when Minzy comes back and she can do it for you." It's her turn to scratch the back of her head as she adds: "but trust me, we're professionals. He's not a creep or anything like that. He's been doing this for a long time. He won't cross any boundaries."

September? You won't even be here in september. Fuck.

Sure, you could do it when you move back into the city. But this summer was supossed to be the summer. You already decided after your breakup with Adam that there would be no trace of the old you. That it was time to push yourself, to do the things that you've always wanted to do, unapologetically. To find the new you, the real you. To stop being scared.

So after going through you options for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you make up your mind.

"It's fine. I can do it."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"JK, sweetheart!"

Jungkook is finishing drawing a Chinese dragon when Mijoo opens the door without knocking. Again. He puts the pen down, rubbing his eyes. It's monday, a slow monday, not much work, and he had hoped it would stay that way until closing time. It's summer and Jungkook hates summer. He hates the heat, he hates being drenched in sweat, and he hates the fact that he can do nothing about it. Because working in the summer is terrible. Summer makes him lazy, makes him want to bathe in a tub full of iced water and not get out until he turns into a raisin and october comes. It makes him irritable. Summer makes him annoyed by people -like Mijoo, even if he loves her to death- and himself.

"I got a girl here who wants a nipple piercing, her first piercing by the way, so get your shit ready and bla bla bla. Straight titanium barbell. Also, don't flirt and don't be creepy. She almost ran away when I told her a male was going to be touching and piercing her tit, be mindful of that. She's too cute, if you want to get her number you should wait until it's done. I think that's it. I'll bring her in in a minute."

Mijoo leaves as fast as she talks, but Jungkook is already used to it. He's already used to the headaches her mouth causes too. He sighs before standing up, tying his too-long raven hair into the best bun he can manage. He washes his hands, sets the table up, sits on the chair and puts the gloves on. He's too busy sterilizing the jewerly when Mijoo comes back with you.

"Alright, my babies. I'll leave you to it." she turns to you. "He'll explain everything, from how the process will be to how to take care of it after it's done." she leaves before saying bye, closing the door behind her, and then he finally turns to you.

Your eyes meet and suddenly everything stops. He almost drops the sterilizing machine, his whole body tensing, going into panic mode as he recognizes you immediatly. His hands shake.

Of course he does. Of course he recognizes his high school crush. The too goody two shoes, too pretentious and too rich, too good for everybody and, most importantly, 'too good for Jeon Jungkook' girl of his high school dreams. Of course he recognizes the girl he had confessed his stupid crush to when he was sixteen. Of course he recognizes the girl who rejected and broke his young and foolish heart when he was a dumb teenager.

It doesn't matter that six years have passed ever since. He still knows every lock of your hair like the palm of his hand. He still remembers the shape of your lips and the exact shade of your eyes. He can still identify the body he fantasized about -and jacked off to- when he was a hormonal teen, now filled in all the right places. Now a grown woman.

Just one look at you after years and years of pining is enough to almost make him faint. And grow a boner under his jeans.

And by the look on your face, your eyes wide and your mouth agape, you recognize him as well.

Dammit.

He schools his features and clears his throat. Forces his body to relax and compose himself, because he's not a teenager anymore. He's also a grown man, who has matured, who now has much more experience with women than he did back then. He had already embarrased himself enough when he was sixteen to be doing it all over again. You're just another attractive girl in a sea of attractive women.

He turns to you. You still haven't said anything. Neither has he.

"Um, you can sit on the table." he manages, motioning to the set up in front of him. He watches you taking doubtful steps until you're sitting down, your eyes avoiding his gaze. He almost forgot you were here to get pierced. Holy shit, you were here to get pierced. To get your nipple pierced.

You're a professional, Jungkook. You can do this, Jungkook. You've seen boobs before, Jungkook. You've pierced nipples before, Jungkook.

Clearing his throat again and forcing his hands to stay by his side, he speaks. "The... The top." your gaze finds his, like a puppy about to get scolded. You look at your top, realization dawning on you. "You don't have to take it off. You can just pull it down."

So you do, pulling the straps of the white tank top down and dragging the fabric down with trembling fingers. No bra. Jungkook gulps as your breasts comes into vision. As perfect as he had imagined years ago. His cock twitches. Round, full, perky and so damn inviting he has to hold himself back from latching onto one nipple with his mouth around it and swirling his tongue over the nub until you're a pretty, moaning, little mess on his piercing tabl-

He closes his eyes for just a second before reminding himself to act like the 23 year old Jungkook he's tried so hard to become. The confident, assured Jungkook he is.

"Okay, this is how it'll go. First I'll clean it and scrub it to get rid of any bacteria." he's so glad he hasn't stuttered yet. 23 year old Jungkook doesn't stutter like 17 year old Jungkook. He's also glad he can pick the alcohol bottle and the surgical scrub without trembling. When he faces you again, you're watching his motions with your lip caught between your teeth. That has him swallowing the lump in his throat.

Making eye contact with him again, you take a deep breath and offer a small nod, so he gets to work. He can show you and himself he's a grown man. A grown man who can pierce a nipple without appearing like it's the first time he's seen a boob in his life. The sooner he does it, the sooner it's over.

Jungkook wets the paper towel with alcohol before carefully wiping over your nub with it. Your back arches, probably from the cold feeling, he guesses. He rubs it a few times before throwing it in the trash can nearby. He avoids looking at how enticing the soft peak is salluting him when he reaches for the marker. He doesn't say anything when he dots it with it, jaw clenched and his dick painfully stiff.

"Lay back." his voice low as he commands, turning away to get the clamp. When he slides closer, he tries to ignore the view: you, with your hair sprawled and your sweaty, shiny skin and your eyes focused on the cieling, nipple fully erect, like the star of one of his most erotic dreams. He extends his free gloved hand before he can stop himself, fingers carefully working the nub until he's sure it's painfully hard. Almost as hard as he is.

You gasp, your back arching again. He stills and looks at you, your cheeks flushed pink. Probably from the heat, he guesses again. Or at least that's what he tells himself. He can't stop himself from wondering how responsive would you be in a different setting, most likely his bed while his teeth play with your breast and his cock dives into-

"You okay?" he studies your face, your eyes not meeting his and instead still focusing on the white ceiling.

"Mhm." you reply with a small voice.

"Relax, alright? It'll be over soon." his voice is as gentle as he can, his fingers mindlessly caressing your breast to try to soothe your nerves. Or maybe it's just because he's a selfish bastard. Whatever it is, he forces himself to bring the clamp to your nipple, securing it around it.

"Take a few deep breaths. This will only take a second of pain and then it will go away." He misses the way your mouth falls open, but he doesn't miss the way your eyes squeeze tight as the needle goes in.

"Ah!" he definitely doesn't miss that either. He goes rigid for a second, because that didn't fucking sound like a cry of painfulness. It's breathy, and whiny, not too loud and, for fucks sake, if that's how you sound when you're getting fucked, he swears to God-

He feels your heartbeat under his hands when he puts the barbell in and then the bandage over it. He takes a look at you, chest moving up and down. And then you take a look at him and what he sees is almost enough to take you right there.

Reddened cheeks, drops of sweat framing your face and those eyes glazed with something he's seen too much in the women he's fucked throughout his life. They're half lidded, mascara adorning your long lashes and almost smudged, looking right through him.

"Jungkook..." and your voice, as you say his name -acknowledging him for the first time since you stepped into his shop, for the first time since you were sixteen-, it's hoarse, almost inaudible, like you just came all over his-

He's on his feet in an instant like he's been burned. "It may bleed for the first week, and it can be really sore. The swelling will eventually come down." he's quickly tidying up the table, a bottle in his hand that he hands to you without looking directly. "Wash it gently with this soap and warm water once per day. Don't touch it. Wear a comfortable...bra. If it gets crusty, clean it with saline. Not alcohol or any other thing you might clean a wound with. The soap I just gave you or saline. Nothing else."

He's pacing around the room as he takes his gloves off and throws them in the trash bin, too agressively maybe, then he keeps rambling, like he's hurriedly trying to make you leave as soon as possible. "Avoid pools and the sea. It takes about six months to a year to heal, so don't... don't touch it, don't play with it or..." he clears his throat, "don't let anyone else play with it. And if it gets infected, come back immediately and I'll take a look at it." which he honestly hopes it won't happen. When he faces you, your top is back on and you're getting off the table.

"Alright, um...I'll do that." clearing your throat, your hand gripping the doorknob. "Thank you."

But right before you can exit the room, Jungkook says your name.

"_____." when you turn around to face him, it takes a few seconds for him to make eye contact from across the room. "It was good to see you."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"Let me see!"

It's the first thing Chaelin says when she opens the door to her appartment. It's on the second floor, small enough to compare it to most expensive appartments you'd stayed in throughout your life, but big enough for Chaelin, her cat and her -impressive- collection of acrylic nail kits and pairs of high heels. It's also big enough for her to offer you the only guest room until summer is over so you didn't have to, one, stay at your parents' place, and two, find an appartment in a short period of time for a short period of time.

When you left years ago, you did so with the thought of 'never looking back'. You never really expected to return here, of all places. Maybe visit your best friend for a weekend at most, have dinner with your parents on a saturday and then go back to the new life you'd made for yourself on a sunday.

But that was before you'd caught Adam cheating.

Tale as old as time: childhood sweethearts get engaged, move in together, son of a bitch sleeps with the assistand he told his girlfriend not to worry about, and then the brokenhearted girl packs her bags and leaves the cheating bastard begging for her to come back.

You'd be lying if you said you were surprised.

Throughout your life, you'd learned to expect many things, regardless of being sheltered and babied by your family since you were born. Watched too much Maury and Dr.Phil. Too much Gossip Girl to know what the deal with life really is.

So, thankfully, you'd only shed a few tears, mostly because your ego and self steem were slightly triggered. You'd realize long before that your feelings for Adam started to disappear once he popped the question and you said yes. Your love story began as teenagers but soon after graduating, the two of you went on different paths: you'd matured, grown into your twenties while he got stuck at 17 and never stopped acting as such.

So yeah, whatever, break ups are hard. But they're not as hard when the love is gone and the sole reason to stay with your partner is to please your parents. You were also right when you expected your mom to tell you to 'forgive and forget' because 'those things just happen, it's not a big deal, honey'.

But above all things, the last thing you expected to happen when you came back was to show your tits and get pierced by none other than motherfucking Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook. Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

The lanky nerd with braces, glasses and an anime obsession much bigger than his hentai obsession, which is saying a lot. The shy, awkward classmate who'd stuttered his undying crush for you when you were just kids. That one who you had rudely rejected like the bitch you used to be in high school.

But my God, Jeon Jungkook was anything but a kid now.

You were shocked. You were gagged. Couldn't seem to fathom what was happening and what your eyes were seeing. It took you a while to close your mouth when you realized JK was Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie.

With messy black hair, a smoldering gaze free of glasses, piercings adorning both ears, and his right eyebrow,, the braces long gone showing perfectly straight - but still bunny like- teeth. The clothes he wore were loose, all black, but it was impossible not to notice the muscles of his back and arms, covered with tattoos from his hands to his forearms. You'd bet there were more of them underneath the fabric.

It was awkward at first. You didn't know what to do, or what to say. Didn't know if he rememberd you. So you chose to stay quiet while your body chose to react like it had never been in the presence of an attractive young man in it's entire life.

And oh, did it react.

He was reluctant, his old timid demeanor peeking through his newly adopted persona. But as soon as those hands came in contact with your skin, your whole body was lit on fire. Like you were 16 and losing your virginity over again and it was the first time a dude touched your boobs.

There shouldn't have been anything erotic about it -besides the fact that your entire breasts were exposed-, it should've been just a professional procedure. But those gloved fingers touched and pinched and suddenly you were too aware of Jeon Jungkook and the way you were starting to sweat profously, not due to the heat of the season.

You tried to distract yourself by looking at the cieling and not at his gorgeous face. Tried to avoid thinking about Jeon Jungkook and how his mouth would feel wrapped around you. Tried not to think about the way your panties were a second skin to your folds, and how tempted you were to grind your hips until you recieved some sort of friction with the jean fabric of your shorts. You wonder if he noticed you squeezing your thighs together. You hope not.

And then the needle happened. You never thought of yourself as a particularly kinky person. Sex with Adam was boring for the most part and you'd lost your libido for a long time. Stopped thinking about sex altogether. But the pain. The pain mixed with his hand rubbing soothing circles on your breast and his voice, as sweet as honey, guiding you through it. It made you reconsider a lot of things you'd once dismissed as 'weird' or 'deviant'

You swear you almost came right on his table.

And then your eyes connected, you made the mistake of calling his name like a satisfied woman who still needed more, and it was all gone. He stood up like a scared cat, gave you a bunch of explanations about the aftercare that you barely grasped without even looking at you and pretty much rushed you to leave.

So you walked, all the way from the tattoo parlor to Chaelin's appartment, mortified, and completely humilliated.

"Are you gonna let me see or not?" your friend says expectantly as you finally sit down after chugging a glass of iced water. You sigh, placing the glass on the table before carefully pulling down your top. "Oh my God, it looks so cool!" she gasps and you can't help a smile while she studies it in amazement. "Did it hurt?"

"Um, I guess." you keep out the part where you almost orgasmed, obviously, stopping her hand from touching when she reaches towards you. "Wait, no. He said something about not touching it for like six months or a year, I don't remember."

At that, Chaelin's eyebrows quirk up. "He? It was a he? Was he cute, at least?"

"You won't believe this..." looking away for a few seconds, you take a deep breath. "It was Jeon Jungkook."

There's a pause, a silence that fills the room when Chaelin's jaw drops. "Jeon Jungkook...pierced your nipple?"

You close your eyes, bracing yourself for what you're a hundred percent sure is coming.

"Ha..." there it is. "Ha ha..." you still know there's more. "Ha ha ha..."

Chaelin laughs hysterically for about God knows how long, while you keep drinking your glass of water unfaced, your mind drifting back to Guk. Gukkie. Jeongukkie, his tattoos and his stupid gloved hands.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

You know he's here.

Everything was cool, you were doing alright, having a great time with your vodka sprite in hand and your cute white bikini on. Chaelin was by your side, the guys were excited to have you back and thankfully, you'd avoided most questions about Adam and they'd avoided digging too deep into the topic. You'd sunbathed the whole afternoon, kept away from the water like he'd told you and ate the Hawaiian pizza Yoongi insisted on ordering despite Namjoon's and Jimin's complaints.

It's at night, when you're a little tipsy and your cheeks are flushed, that you feel it. You'd barely noticed Taehyung disappearing to let in a new guest.

You don't see him, but you feel him.

You're sitting on the pool tile steps, legs dangling and the water baely reaching your belly to make sure it doesn't touch your very sensitive and newly pierced nipple. Your back is facing the sliding glass doors of Hoseok's house, but the moment you hear his voice, smooth but animated as he converses with Taehyung, your body wakes up immediately, back straightening, goosebumps forming on your arms and nipples tightening against the fabric of your two piece.

You don't turn around, instead opting for downing the remaining of your drink and coming to the realization that, of course, Taehyung, social butterfly who'd always got along with everybody and remained friends with most people from high school, still keeps in touch with Jungkook.

You ignore him when he enters the pool, still peering from the corner of your eyes while pretending to be engaged in Chaelin's and Jihyo's conversation. Your mind sabotages you by taking you to that day a week ago at the tattoo parlor.

To the warmth of his hand, to the few strands of hair that his small ponytail couldn't keep together, to the way his eyes focused on such an intimate part of your body, to the endless ink decorating his skin, to-

Great. Now your bottoms are wet and not due to the water.

You don't miss Chaelin supressing a laugh and her not so subtle elbowing. You glance at her in warning and try to keep calm for the next fifteen minutes until Jin proposes moving to the living room to watch a movie.

"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer, guys." you say, after clearing your throat. You needed some time to gather yourself before being in a confined space with Jungkook.

"Are you sure?" Jin stops by your side to place a hand on your shoulder as everybody starts exiting the pool. "It's Mean Girls! You love Mean Girls! You never miss a minute of Mean Girls!"

Rolling your eyes, you wave him dismissively. "I know every dialogue on Mean Girls like the back of my hand, I think I'll be alright, Jin."

When everybody finally leaves, you take a deep breath, covering your face with your hands in an attempt to get him out of your head. Damn Jeon Jungkook and his irresisitble glow up.

"You okay?"

The unexpected voice startles you, a gasp finding its way out of your mouth and causing you to jump on your seat, heartbeat erratic as you instantly recognize who it belongs to. Your hand grasps your chest as if that would do anything to protect yourself against him.

"Shit, don't do that!" you say, the words almost getting stuck in your throat as you see him approaching you, still submerged in the pool. The more he nears you, the less water depth there is and the more visible his torso comes into view. Wich was exactly what you'd been avoiding.

Because Jeon Jungkook was ripped, as you'd imagined when you first encountered him.

Broad shoulders and strong biceps and chiseled abs and veiny forearms. Drenched hair, a full sleeve of tattoos and water dripping from delicious tan skin and all just so very hard. That paired up with a loopsided smile that does nothing but make you shudder.

"Sorry." he doesn't sound apologetic at all when he says that, the smirk adorning his features telling. "You just seemed a little off." you advert your gaze when he pushes his hair back.

"I'm fine, just...just wanted to be by myself."

"Oh" Jungkook's smile disappears. "I can leave, if you want me t-"

"No!" you're not sure where that comes from and neither does he, judging by the look on his face when your eyes find his. Eyebrows raised and mouth slightly parted, he's as surprised as you and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Um, you don't have to. I mean, it's not my house, you can do whatever you want." you sniff and tame your voice, trying to seem cool and collected like you didn't just practically beg him not to go.

Ironic, considering this was exactly what you had been fearing for the past thirty minutes.

And then he smiles. A knowing smile. A smile that says 'you just totally checked me out and now you don't want me to leave'. A smile that you would have never associated with Jeon Jungkook of all people years ago. A smile that makes you want to look away but still keeps you in place.

"Sure." he says, closing the space between the two of you slowly but still leaving enough distance. "So, how's it going?"

You clear your throat, head high and determined not to let this man, or any man for that matter, turn you into a trembling mess. You're still you and you're not easily shaken by the opposite sex. Or at least that's what you helplessly chant in your head.

"Everything's cool. I'm on summer vacation now," a little white lie, "so I decided to-"

"The piercing." he says, the smile never leaving his face. "I meant how's the piercing."

"The pier- right." you almost miss the step he takes forward, all too aware of his height over yours but thankful for the centimeters that being propped on the stairs added to yours. "It's-" you almost, almost miss his knee touching your knee and him slightly separating your legs with his own inch by inch. Or how your thighs open unvoluntarely to welcome him in and how you can barely find coherent words to speak. "It's doing-" or the way his smile disappears and is instead focusing his dark stare fully onto yours.

"It's doing well." you finally say in a whisper, not being able to bring yourself to be louder.

He hums. "May I see it?" Jungkook wets his lips with the tip of his tongue and the action and his voice is enough to make you nod your head, bewitched.

His movements are unhurried, his hand coming up to tentatively come in contact with the flesh of your clavicle. His fingers skim through your skin upwards, his touch is feather-like when it wraps around your throat. You pant, and he stops but he doesn't move away, his eyes still focused on yours, studying you, daring you to pull back, to tell him to back off. But just a simple touch of his and you're fully under his control. It reminds you too much of the day you got that damn piercing.

Your lips are parted and for a moment he stays just like that. His body so close to yours but not close enough, and his hand slightly gripping your neck. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you can't wrap your head around the fact that something so simple sets your entire being alive and leaves you aching.

Then, as slow as he started, his hand travels from the front of your neck to the back, pushing your hair aside to carefully untie the straps of your bikini. He breathes through his nostrils, doesn't make a sound. He seems so collected it's starting to annoy you.

Instead, your breathing is ragged when the top falls down, exposing both your breasts to him. That's when he removes his eyes from yours and his jaw clenches. Your nipples perk up under his gaze, like they remember him and the effect he had on them just a week ago. You're at least glad you're not the only one affected but he seems to be a master at keeping it under wraps.

Then, his hand moves again, leaving goosebumps on your skin as it goes south. Jungkook takes his time, so deliberate you want to scream, until he's cupping your pierced breast, keeping away from the nipple just like he'd advised you a few days prior. You can't look away from his face, from his eyes observing you like you're a full course meal and he's been starving for days. You feel drops of water falling from his hair to your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin so delicately as it faintly nears your still tender nipple. Just nearing it, never touching it.

"Beautiful." his murmur is almost imperceptible and for a moment you think you've imagined it. Your back arches on its own, breast pushed against the palm of his hand, almost like your body is begging him to come closer, to touch you more, to feel you all over. He meets your eyes briefly, gauging your reaction, before going back to your chest. Suddenly, the grip on your breast tightens, fingers ever so softly squeezing your flesh. From your throat comes a mewl, your eyes shut and your legs close around his waist.

"Jungkook, please..." you whisper when you open your eyes. He looks at you, unvertainty written all over his face, lips bruised as if he had been biting on them too hard, gaze as glassy as yours. And just like that, the spell is broken. He blinks and his expression changes completely. Lips forming a straight line and jaw tight. His hand retracts, fixing your bikini top over your breasts before tying it around your neck like it originally was. Meanwhile your eyebrows crunch in confusion. But when you're about to start asking questions, he clears his throat.

"It's healing okay." he steps back, avoiding your eyes. "I'll see you inside."

Jungkook leaves the pool like nothing happened.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Jungkook is fiddling, fixing the position of his glasses and combing through his straight hair with shaky hands, habits he's tried so hard to get rid of in his sixteen years of existence but still finds impossible to.

He can't help it. He's always been like this: the quiet and awkward kid in class who sits in the back, a misunderstood puppy in a sea of stronger dog breeds that could eat him alive. An outcast. Too geeky for his own good. Notebokes full of Dragon Ball doodles on the margins of the pages, the shelves in his room stacked with Marvel figurines, and a closet filled with outdated clothes that he has been inheriting from his older brother.

He has never been the type to stand out, always being overlooked by people like he's invisible. He doesn't mind though. He'd much rather be ignored than getting picked on by bullies like he used to in elementary school.

He never gets invited to parties. Ever. He's a nobody who barely speaks, and when he does he either stutters or manages to embarrass himself in one way or another. He's seen the look on people's faces when they look at him. Their eyes seem to scream 'weirdo' everytime he gets acknowledged.

So obviously the only reason he was invited to this particular party had a first and last name: Kim Taehyung. The only kid in Jungkook's entire life who didn't look at him in a funny way, the only kid who took the time to entangle in a random conversation with him after class and who seemed geniune enough to make Jungkook feel comfortable.

He's not sure how it happened, since Taehyung mostly hangs out with the cool kids. But somehow it did, and now Jungkook is uncomfortably standing in a living room full of drunk teens, looking directly at you.

You, the one girl Jungkook had been pining on for God knows how long. You, who are obviously too pretty, too popular, and way out of his league. You, with your plaid skirt and your polo shirt and those legs that never seem to end. You, who are sitting with your friends in a couch, drink in hand and visibly tipsy. And yet, he doesn't think he's ever seen anyone pull of the 'drunk-rosy-cheek' look better than you.

He can hear your laugh through the music and he already thinks it sounds better than whoever is playing in the background.

"Come on, Gukkie! Her friends are leaving and she's all by herself now! It's your chance" Taehyung's obviously drunk too because it took Jungkook a while to decypher his exact words. He'd disappeared for a while and now that he's back, he's pushing Jungkook in your direction.

"This was a mistake, Taehyung." Jungkook shakes his hair and steps back, quickly glancing at the front door to prepare his escape. But his new friend's grip on his hoodie keeps him in place.

"Guk, listen. The only thing you have to do, is walk up to her, and say 'hey I think you're, like, really pretty. Just letting you know. Bye!' That's it. Jung- Dude, Guk, seriously, look at me." Taehyung grabs Jungkook's cheeks, squishing them between his hands and forceing him to face him. "You've been crushing hard on her for years, my man. We're graduating and you won't see each other again. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting rejected?"

Jungkook's eyebrows draw together. "Um, yeah?"

"Exactly! Getting rejected is not the end of the world, bro! It just means keep trying on other girls!" Taehyung releases his hold on Jungkook's cheeks. "I just think you're going to regret not telling your crush she's your crush. Who knows? Maybe in the future you two will get married."

Jungkook snickers, muttering a 'yeah right' under his breath. Still, he can't help the smile that Taehyung's words always seem to pull out of him.

"Now," Taehyung playfully slaps Jungkook before turning him in your direction again. "Go get 'em, tiger!"

"Okay," Mijoo's voice slices through Jungkook's memories. She's sitting on Jungkook's desk, munching on her brownies and looking at her coworker expectantly. "And then what?"

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, sits back on his chair, already feeling the effects of Mijoo's baked goods. "And then I walked up to her, like a damn fool, stutter and all. And I say:" he clears his throat, making an effort to do his best teenage Gukkie impression."'Hey, _____, um, so, I think you're beautiful and I've had a crush on you since seventh grade, haha, just wanted to let you know.'"

Mijoo rolls her eyes, still chewing. "And then what?"

"And then she looked me up and down, giggled, fucking giggled, Mijoo, and said 'Who are you, again?'" Mijoo gasps and Jungkook closes his eyes, trying to force that recollecion out of his head.

"What a bitch." she can't help but laugh before apologizing. Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his brownie. "She didn't say anything else?"

"She said something along the lines of:" he clears his throat again, this time, doing an impression of you. "'That's sweet and all but, you and I... we're not the same. And I have a boyfriend, so...' She said that like I didn't know, like I wasn't aware of the school's it couple! Like I was dumb!"

Mijoo nods. "And now you want to fuck her even more than you did in high school."

"I- No! Well, yes. Fuck, of course I want to sleep with her! But I just... can't."

"Why not?"

"Did you hear anything about what I just told you or were you too concentrated trying to get high?"

It's Mijoo's turn to roll her eyes. "I heard everything you just told me. I just don't understand what the problem is. You two were sixteen. Sure, she was a bitch about it, but Lord knows I've been a bitch my entire life and now I'm not anymore." Jungkook raises an eyebrow at that. "Okay, sometimes I can be nice. But the point is..." Mijoo finishes her piece of brownie before getting off of Jungkook's desk. "It's been, what? Nine? Ten years? People change, JK. You're the best example of that. You want to fuck her and she obviously wants to fuck you too. You're both adults." she wipes her hands on her shorts. "I think it's time you fulfill that high school fantasy of yours."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

You've made up your mind.

And by you, it means Chaelin has made up your mind.

It didn't take long to convince you though. That last interaction with Jungkook cause too many emotions stirring within you. It left you hot, it left you bothered, it left you confused. Sure, it also left you a little bit embarrassed like the first time, but above everything else, that interaction with Jungkook left you absolutely livid.

Because who the fuck did Jeon Jungkook, formerly known as Guk, Gukkie, Jungukkie, and currently known as JK, think he was to come near you, speed your heart rate's up, and then runaway like that?

You've spent days thinking about it. About that face, about that body, about those hands and- shit. You're doing it again.

You've spent days trying to push those intrusive thoughts. Spent days trying to bury what happened. You've spent days trying to keep quiet, not telling anyone about it and just wishing that stupid spark of desire simply went away.

But it has just been simply unavoidable. You haven't been able to ignore the sleepless nights with your brain drifting back to that night and forbidding your hand from slipping under your panties. Or the excessive amount of time during the day where images of him suddenly popped in your head and wouldn't go away, even with you squeezing your thighs to try to make the ache go away.

So you ended up ranting and ranting and ranting to the only person you could confide on, who is obviously your best friend. Your best friend, who's too smart for her own good and knows you too well for your liking. Because apparently your moodiness and snappy remarks couldn't go unnoticed.

And after explaining the fiasco over a bottle of wine -and minutes of endless laughing on Chaelin's part because, again, it's Gukkie you two were talking about and, according to her, this was "the most karmic thing I've ever seen"-, she gave you the best advice an older sister could ever give.

"Fuck him."

"I know right? Fuck him!"

"No. I mean, fuck him."

And now here you are. Right inside that room you stepped in weeks ago, confronting the man in question with the same confidence that has always distinguished you from others and trying to act like the fluttering inside your belly wasn't nauseauting.

"A date."

"Yes."

"You want to go on a date with me." this wouldn't be so hard if Jungkook didn't look so delectable in a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans. You cross your arms over your chest, doing your best to not look down at the exposed skin of a man who obviously worked out a lot and apparently, never skipped leg day. "What's the catch?"

He's sitting on his chair, back resting comfortably and legs spread, narrowing his eyes at you and probably wondering why the girl at the front desk let you in without an appointment. Also, probably wondering if there was a catch to all of this.

"There's no catch. I just want to go to the fair this weekend. I'll ask Taehyung for your number and text you the date and the exact place we'll be meeting. Unless..." your quirk one of your eyebrows. "Unless you're already planning on how you'll chicken out this time."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Of course, Jungkook says yes to going on a date with his high school crush but spends the following days overthinking every single thing.

He can't help but feel like it's kinda sketchy. What if you're planning your vendetta on him? What if you don't even show up and he ends up there looking like a damn idiot? What if you hate him and are just messing up with him? What if that incident in high school is going to repeat itself?

"If she doesn't show up, you simply move on and never speak to her again. It's that simple. She can't have that much power over you to cry about something like that." Mijoo had said that same day she let you in the tattoo parlor after you'd asked to see Jungkook. Jungkook's coworker hadn't even question you and just motioned you to Jungkook's room with a knowing smile on her face. Later that day, Jungkook had scolded her about it and she'd simply shrugged.

He considers cancelling, eyes reading the 'won't be able to make it, sorry (sad face emoji)' over and over again and fingers hovering over the send button so many times he's lost count. But then he remembers that comment of yours about him chickening out and Jungkook starts seeing red.

How couldn't you understand he's just terrified of you rejecting him one more time? Sure, Jungkook is now an adult who doesn't get butthurt over stuff like that. He's experienced too much after graduating from high school and he's a much stronger individual than his fragile self back was back then.

But something about you just makes him feel so... weak.

He still finds it impossible to concieve where he got the courage to approach you like that at Taehyung's pool, or how he brought himself to touch you for longer than a minute without coming in his pants. He'd enjoyed it too much. Allowing him to see you so exposed, just for him. He'd be so tempted to kiss you right there and then, to run his hands up and down your thighs and fully wrap your legs around him to let you known how much you'd affected him. Once you called his name, it was like he'd finally snapped out of it and backed away like he'd been burned by you. He spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep himself from pulling down his pants and jerking off in his friend's bathroom.

It's terrible. Because he feels like the teenager he used to be when you're around. Shy, insecure and overall a mess. You showing up in his life after so many years and now apparenly being interested in him seems like a dream that he's not sure he wants to keep being in or wake up from before it's too late and he falls back into that tumoltuous longing that will inevitably end up in heartbreak. His heartbreak.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's saturday night, he's standing by himself in the crowded fair at the spot. You're fifteen minutes late and he's already about to turn back and dip out. He feels too awkward and the nerves are eating him alive.

You're not going to show up. You're not going to show up and now he feels and looks even dumber than the time he told you he was crushing on you. You're not even going to show up and now he's going to come back home, get drunk by himself and curse your name for-

"Hey!" he turns around to the sound of your voice and sees you running towards him. "Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my phone and spent like thirty minutes looking for it. Turns out, Sharon Stone, was taking a nap on top of it and I didn't even notice."

"Sharon Stone?"

"Chaelin's cat."

To be honest, he's too surprised to process your explanation right away. He might also be a little speechless because that sky blue sundress looks too good on your skin and your eyelashes are so long, framing your beautiful eyes, and your lips are all glossy and kisseable that it takes him a while to find his own voice.

He clears his throat. "It's alright." scratching the back of his head, he momentarely adverts his gaze from you in an attempt to not get distracted by how soft your hair looks and how much he wants to wrap it around his hands in a ponytail. "Um, where do you want to go first?"

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Almost an hour and a half later, when the sun has already disappeared and you're both surrounded by colorful lights, Jungkook decides to buy the both of you hot dogs and a drink and you both settle down on a bench.

You've been walking all over the fair, going from booth to booth, playing any game in sight Jungkook dared you to -he obviously had a competitive streak-: from the ballon and dart games, to the shooting games, to the bumping cars, to the ball-in-basket one. To say you were having fun was an understatement.

You'd almost regretted setting the date up. You were sure he wouldn't even show up and if he did, you were scared of how awkward things could get between the two of you. And if things were awkward, you were sure it would only take less than thirty minutes for the both of you to part ways and never talk again about such failure of a date.

To your surprise, none of that happened.

The conversation was flowing, both of you acting like you were strangers on their first date getting to know each other, which, to be fair, that's exactly what it felt like. There was a slight banter, teasing each other when one of you lost in whatever game you were playing while the other was obviously winning. There were laughs and a funny feeling in your tummy whenever you'd walk side by side and his arm brushed yours.

There was no stiffness on his shoulders, no mention of the past or your previous encounters, no acknowledgement of the blatant sexual tension you'd experienced before, not an ounce of avoidance whenever your eyes met his and he was even sure of himself enough to place a hand on your lower back or briefly interwine your fingers with his to guide you through the mass of people.

It felt like you'd both unspokenly agreed on making each other feel comfortable enough to have a good time.

"I didn't think you were going to show up, to be honest." you suddenly say, taking a sip of your strawberry juice and thankful to finally let your feet rest for a while.

Jungkook looks at you, hot dog mid air and eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "You didn't think I was going to show up? I didn't think you were going to show up." you simply shrug, lowering your gaze seepishly, the beginning of a smile on both your faces. He surprises you by tilting your head in his direction with his forefinger. You watch him watching you, a little dazed, a little lost in how his dark hair messily falls over his forehead and his equally dark eyes study your face, his thumb swiping over your lower lip. "You um... There was ketchup right there." he lies.

"Oh" you say, feeling your face heating up. "Thanks. Red doesn't really match this dress." you manage a smile and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.

At that, he eyes your dress for a moment, mouth slightly ajar. He's debating on whether or not to say something but you beat him to it.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

"For being late? I already told you it's fin-"

"No." you shake your head. "For... that time when we were young and I was such a concieted brat." you say, looking away , trying to find anything else that's not his pretty face. "I thought I was a queen bee back then. I was annoying and rude, specially to you. I..." you lick your lips. The cherry glittery gloss was already gone. "I thought it was cute, what you said. There was no reason for me to act like that. I know this doesn't make anything right but..." when you turn to face him again, there's still the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

A few seconds go by before it's him who's shaking his head. "It's okay. It was a long time ago, anyway." he smiles at you, although it doesn't reach his eyes and seems sorta forced. You sigh, and he takes your hand. "Let's go to the ferris wheel."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━��━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

tell you're tense. You're sitting right beside him in the ferris cabin, your back is all straight, you're facing forward and he believes you haven't blinked for what feels like an eternity. He thinks it has everything to do with your conversation a few minutes ago. You were probably not content with his response but what could Jungkook do? There was really no point in apologizing for something that happened years ago, but at the same time, he didn't want to hold anything against you like a resentful asshole because it was really not who he was. But there was still a little bit of stingyness inside of him and he didn't know how to make it go away.

At the end of the day, here you were, on a date with him that you'd asked for, getting along and asking questions about him and laughing at his jokes and trying to start all over again.

But then the ferris wheel starts moving, and he finally understands why you look so uncomfortable.

It's the way you immediately grip his forearm, nails digging in his skin and he swears he hears the smallest gasp forcing itself out your throat.

"Are you... scared?" he tentatively asks.

You say nothing for a while, not moving an inch. He would laugh if you didn't look so pained about it.

"I don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters." you finally say through gritted teeth.

"It's not really that small and ferris wheels are not rollercoasters. " your nails dig deeper and he winces. "Okay, okay. You don't like small confined spaces nor rollercoasters, and that includes ferris wheels. So why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I've never liked ferris wheels but you seemed excited about it, so..."

There's a silence after that in the environment, neither of you exactly sure of what to say or how to act. Until Jungkook moves one of his hands hands until it's resting on the one who's holding onto him for dear life, fingers caressing yours. The warmth of his hand spreads through yours and although it's almost July and you can already feel your sweaty back staining your dress, it's oddly comforting. What's more comforting even, is him twisting his body towards you and talking with the calmest and most soothing tone you've ever heard.

"Look at me." you do instantly, unwillingly, and kinda wish you hadn't. It's almost as if your body will do anything he says without question. Like he has some sort of power over it to just react however he wants. His eyes bore into yours and suddenly the cab doesn't seem so suffocating. "It's just you and me right now. We're not even on a ferris wheel." the corners of his mouth turn slowly upwards. You zone out the environment, suddenly too aware of him and how close he is and how loud the beating of your heart is to your own ears.

"Jungkook."

You swallow the knot in the back of your throat when he removes his hand from yours. It almost makes you protest, - now realizing you've losened the tight grip on his arm- , before it craddles your face, keeping you in place while bringing his body closer.

"You have to stop saying my name like that."

With his thigh touching your thigh, your whole demeanor melts. When he leans closer, and you feel his breath fanning over your lips, your eyes shut closed.

"Tell me I can-" he starts to say.

"Yes." you finish for him. He doesn't doubt on closing the distance between you two. His lips touch yours and your body shakes in excitement. It's just him lightly skimming your lips with his but it's already too much and at the same time, not enough. It has you deepening it, yourself moving closer when he kisses you again. It has you relaxing against him, the tenseness prior disappearing and making you arch your back when his tongue asks for permission.

But it's exactly then, the moment you open your lips to him, that has you losing your mind.

The sparks fly, traveling from your head to your toes and then settling on the pit of your stomach as soon as the kiss starts to turn desperate and rough. When he nibbles your lips with his teeth, it makes you mewl and whine and your nipples tight against the cotton of your dress. It makes the metal barbell to feel uncomfortable, slightly painful. And when he goes back to being messy and filthy with his tongue tangled with yours, your thighs close on their own.

He forces himself to pull his hand back and bring it down, finding the parting of yd opening them for him. "Wait," you say, your fingers wrapping around his forearm as you try to catch your breath."The ferris-" he shuts you up with another kiss.

"We're not on a ferris wheel." he reminds you, a soft whisper against your mouth. And for whatever reason, you believe him.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"He fingered you on the ferris wheel."

"Yes."

"And you came before the ride was over."

You take a small sip of wine, your eyes focusing on the TV where a rerun of the Golden Girls is playing, although, to be fair, lately you haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else but a certain brunet with doe eyes and kisseable lips. "Yes."

She hums, stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between your thighs.

"How long did it took? Like five minutes?"

There's a pause in which you clench your jaw, your fingers twitching around the glass in your hand, and then you answer. "Probably less."

There's another pause, and then-

"Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha-"

You let her laugh. It's okay. You knew you had it coming.

Chaelin knows the pillow you throw right at her face is also something she had coming.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's not that you're mad.

Jungkook and you had a great time on that fair date, he made you laugh, bought hot dogs and drinks for the two of you and got you off inside the cab of a ferris wheel on record time with those magical, long fingers of his. Technically, there shouldn't be anything to be angry about.

Except it's been a week and you can't stop thinking about him, about wanting more, and about those words that he left you with after the ferris wheel ride ended, when you had tried to return the favor.

'Next time, maybe.'

And there hasn't been a next time.

The thought of texting him or giving him a call to ask for another date is persistent in your mind. It remains while you do the laundry or wash the dishes, while you shower, while you eat or while you spend your days at the beach with Chaelin. There's always the incessant desire to reach out towards your phone, unlock it and dial his number to beg for more.

But you'd never been one to beg, so you resist the urge everytime that feeling starts to creep up on you and it washes over you like a wave. You silence your phone and try to concentrate on making the most out of your summer.

It's one random night, when you're tiredly dragging your feet across Chaelin's apartment's carpet, yawning and ready to succumb to a well needed slumber, that you see your phone screen's lighting up with a message.

Your heart pathetically leaps inside your chest when you read his name.

'you free on saturday?'

You wish you could say you ghosted him, ignored his text and moved on with your life until it was him who begged you for another date. But the truth is you opened it in a matter of seconds and typed 'i'm free, why?' back in a rush with trembling fingers.

So now you're on the passanger seat of his car while he sits on the driver seat, the first saturday night of July, like he's Danny Zuko and you're Sandy Olsson, watching a vintage movie in a drive-in theater which plot you don't give a shit about, even if Jungkook's date plan idea made something inside of you churn with adoration.

And the only reason why you don't give a single damn about the movie playing in front of your eyes, is because you're hot. Way too hot. And the reason and cause is none other than the boy-now-turned-man sitting on your left.

You barely exchanged words when he picked you up, just rode in silence until you got to your destination and you bet he can feel as well as you do the tension in the air.

You've surveyed him a few times from the corner of his eye, noticing him fiddling with the rings around his fingers and shifting in his seat from time to time. And if the sight of his fingers bring memories that you've tried to bury to keep yourself from lunching towards him, a brief glance at his forearms, adorned with ink drawn through his golden flesh -doing a poor job at concieling the veins running underneath- and his skin-tight jeans wrapping those muscled thighs of his is enough to have you be the one squirming in your seat.

A woman can only endure so much, and you come to that realization thirty minutes into the movie.

"I want to suck your cock." you say, a stern expression on your face as you turn your body in his direction.

Jungkook frozes as your voice slides over him. It takes him a couple seconds to look at you, shock widening his eyes and parting his lips.

"Huh?" he manages, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.

Without separating your gaze from his, you gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail with the hair tie previously around your wrist. You don't miss the quick glance he sneaks into the curvature of your neck and the valley between your breasts.

Inching forward, closing in on him, you place one of your hands on top of his thigh, the action making his whole body tense. "____..." he whispers your name in a warning that doesn't sound convincing even in his own ears.

You smile, your eyes never wavering from his as your hand inches upwards, slowly caressing over the fabric of his jeans until you finally come across what you were looking for.

His hand flies to your wrist, stilling your movements. "____, this is not-". He starts, but his voice gets stuck inside his throat when you palm his undoubtly growing erection.

"Shh." your shaky breath fans over his cheek and you force yourself on your knees on the passanger seat in a more comortable possition to stop the trembling to reach them.

You fumble with the belt holding his pants in place, then with the button and finally with the zipper. He helps you by lifting his hips to pull his jeans and boxers to his thighs and you have to bite back a mixture between a gasp and a moan at the sight below you. You haven't even seen Jeon Jungkook naked all the way, but the mere sight of his hard cock with pre-cum glistening on his crown is probably the sexiest thing you've ever had the pleasure of appreciating.

It gets sexier when you wrap your hand around the base and his body melts in the driver seat, throwing his head back with his eyes shut. It gets even sexier when you finally lower your head, swirling your tongue over the head before finally engulfing him fully in the wet warmth of your mouth.

"Shit." his voice is tight, uneven as his hand loosely grips your ponytail, as if careful not to accidentally hurt you and break the glorious moment.

Although you wouldn't mind at all. Because the moment your hands are on him, and your tongue is on his shaft, that's the only thing you care about. Your belly is twisting, an undeniable wet spot on your panties as the fabric sticks to your folds, and the more you suck Jungkook, the more you want from him. His earthy taste is addicting and the soft little whimpers he occasionally can't prevent himself from are making you want to milk him until he can't take it no more. There's this desire within you to whorship him and his cock like you had been dreaming for the past weeks.

"This is s-so fucking h-hot." he rasps between ragged breaths, the bobbing of your head, sliding up and down his dick as your hand works the centimeters your mouth can't take is about to make him faint.

"Getting a blowjob?" you joke, your throat starting to feel sore as you kiss his leaking tip.

"N-no." he draws in a rough breath when you take him all of him again. "You giving me a blowjob... T-the f-fact that anyone c-could see us..." he darts a quick glance at your body, your ass up in the air and your dress sliding down, almost exposing you completely. "The fact that-ah! Shit..." he squeezes his eyes when he feels a glob of your spit lubricating him.

There's a sudden need to make you feel the same, to touch your skin and have you shaking the same way you have him. So one of his hands travels from your spine, to your perked ass, finally dragging the cotton of your dress to allow himself to see your thin white panties. "The fact that anyone could see you l-like this," he murmurs, regaining a little bit of control when he squeezes one of your cheeks. "letting t-them see you s-sucking my cock and..." he smirks when he feels you gasping around him, his fingers trapped between your thighs and pushing them inside your heat easily "and letting them see me fingering this pretty little pussy."

Soon after that he's cumming in your mouth while you're cumming around his fingers.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

At first, it's mostly on weekends when you see each other. Weekends of stolen kisses and soft sighs and whispering against each other's lips. Then weekends turn to week days, sitting on grass while sipping on refreshing beverages, drawing each other laughs, elbows touching as you walk around the park side by side because the both of you are too scared to interwine your fingers together.

Jungkook feels content like this: sitting on the sand with you between his thighs, admiring the sunset while nuzzing your neck and inhaling your scent every now. He likes waching you enoying your strawberry ice cream, almost forgetting the chocolate chip one already melting in his hand.

"If you were an ice cream flavor,which one would you be?" you ask him, relaxing against his chest.

"Rocky road."

"Why?"

He shrugs behind you. "Everyone likes rocky road."

You hum, playfully rolling your eyes. "What about me? Which ice cream flavor would I be?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer."

"Lemon sherbet? Out of all of the flavours out there, you're rocky road and I'm lemon sherbet?"

"Lemon sherbet, in the summer." he corrects.

"Okay, fine. Why?"

"You're boring and basic."

You gasp, trying to feign outrage but not being able to repress the laugh that escapes your throat. You elbow him, his laugh mixing with yours while taking the time to wrap his arms around your form, the breeze blowing your hair allowing him a spot between your neck and your shoulder. "You're boring and basic, but once you have a taste..." he presses a small kiss on your skin, causing the tiny hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. "Once you have a taste, specially on the hottest day in the middle of summer, you can't stop tasting and licking until there's no more lemon sherbet left."

You suck in on a breath when he craddles your jaw to face him. "It's been my favourite flavor since I was a kid." he kisses you immediately after, his lips swallowing the small whimper now stuck in your throat.

You close your eyes as his tongue opens your mouth, arousal blasting your insides and something much, much deeper that you fear to even name shredding your chest.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

The beginning of august comes faster then you two realize, but what you both do realize is how hard it's becoming to stay away from each other.

It's been thirty days of dates happening almost everyday, sharing high school memories and anecdotes of the time you spent away from each other. Hours of getting to know each other and opening up to each other. From failed relationships to new friendships. Of park dates walking side by side and fingers now interwined because you both realized one day that, fuck it.

It's difficult to sleep when you realize you're starting to catch serious feelings for somebody who was just supposed to be a fling. It's hard to sleep when his face, his voice and his touch and thoughts of missing him when you don't see each other start haunting you at night.

It's hard for Jungkook to focus on work when you're everything that's occupying his mind. Because he has a hundred sketches to make but he's too busy thinking about the hundred different sketches he would make of you.

It's hard not to send him a goodnight text, just like it's hard for him not to reply in a matter of seconds, almost as if he was already waiting to recieve it.

Jungkook thinks of you at night. Of how pretty and absolutely perfect you are for him. Of the taste of your lips, the way your hair feels between his fingers, or the flush on your cheeks when he makes you cum as droplets of sweat accumulate between your breasts. He thinks about your voice. He also thinks about the amount of hours left to be able to listen to it again.

But mostly he thinks about how ridiculous this situation is. Because he was stupidly crushing on you when you were only teenagers, daydreaming about a chance with you. And now his crush is long gone and he's starting to realize that he's falling, and falling fast.

You, too, think of Jungkook at night. Of his ability to bring a smile out of you, to soothe you with just a few words and filling your belly excitement, happiness and feelings you're sure you've never felt before.

Jungkook's managed to imprint himself in your dreams, and you, in his.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Getting drunk with Jungkook is fun and messy.

It's fun because he lets loose, he stutters a lot like he used to do when he was a teenager and he makes you laugh louder than ever before. It's messy because he has no control over his hands as they explore your body, clumsily taking your clothes off as his mouth laps at the breast he's allowed to touch.

He's more forceful and dominating too, pinning your hands above your head, and commanding you to keep them right there, on the pillows of his bed. When you rebel against it, your fingers finding the hard planes of his chest, he pulls away from you and places them back where he left them. "Don't make me tie you up." he threatens, and your body shudders beneath him.

He sucks, and bites and leaves marks all over your skin, grunting in response to your moans. Creating a path of kisses from your lips to your stomach, his shoulders separating your knees, opening you up only for him. And thankfully, when you reach down to tug at the strands of hair framing his face, he lets you, because he knows you need something to hold on to the moment his tongue eats you up. He leaves his fingertrips on your thighs as he keeps you in place, not allowing you to runaway. Just forcing you to take it as he takes from you.

And when you cum, he doesn't back away. He keeps sucking, and licking and punishing you with his mouth until you're cumming over and ove again, screaming and begging for his cock.

Having Jungkook over you, both completely naked, skin to skin and only sweat in between is more than you could've ever fantazised about. He slurls your name when he puts the condom on. He would do anything to feel you raw, but he also knows he wouldn't be able to last a minute. The sight of you spread open, with your cheeks darkened by a crimson blush and your hair tangled all over his pillow is a picture he wants to keep forever.

He enters you when you call his name, your voice dripping with need. He stretches your warm and wet felsh, slowly easing himself into you at first, until he's fully inside and your bodies are completely in union. A shiver runs down Jungkook's spine when he looks at your contorted face in pleasure, your lips forming an 'O' and your pussy clenching around him.

"Oh, my God." you moan into the dark of Jungkook's room, and even then, he can clearly appreciate every curve of your body lifting off the mattress to connect with his. He lowers himself on his elbows on either side of your head, caging you in and capturing your mouth with his.

"I know, baby." he murmurs. It's hot, in the middle of August but suddenly Jungkook doesn't hate summer as much as he used to. Not with you sharing the heat with him. "It's way beyond what I could ever imagine." You nod hurriedly against his lips, your arms finding their way around his neck as he starts rocking in and out of you.

"It's too good." you cry, when he hits a particular spot that has you rolling your eyes in bliss and gripping his waist tighter with your legs against you. Your fingers thread through his hair, not bothered by the beads of sweat gathered on the nape of his neck.

"Too good..." he agrees, not missing the shiver that's shaking your own frame when he picks up his speed. "You have no idea what I would do t-to fucking feel you with n-no barriers between us," his movements become frantic as his hips slap against yours, his jaw clenched as he keeps talking, "to s-stuff you full of my c-cum over and over again until it won't stop d-dripping."

Jungkook's voice against your ear has you trembling and your orgasm nearing closer, your nails scratching down his back as his thrusts overpower your form. "Would you like that?" he asks with his voice strangled.

"Y-yes. Anything y-you want."

"You'd take all of my cum like a good cum-slut?"

You hate the fact that that's what makes you come undone. The twisting and knotting in the pit of your stomach finally snapping until you're holding on to him like you never want to let him go and he's following soon after.

Because if Guk, Gukkie, Jengukkie was not only able to make you come in less than a few minutes with his fingers or his tongue, but he was also able to make you cum instantly just by calling you a good cum-slut, that means you're fucked. Like, really, really fucked.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

There's a knot in Jungkook's stomach and a suffocating grip around his vocal chords as he caresses your skin. The sun is rising in the distance with the first rays of light entering his room through the window. Your shamphoo is intoxicating him, numbing him and enticing him to bury his nose in the tangled curls pressing against his chest. Your arm is thrown across his stomach, your breathing leavig goosebumps all over his body.

"It's too early. Go back to sleep." you mumble against his heart. He wonders if you can feel it dangerously speeding up.

"I can't." he says, voice struggling to stay balanced. "I have to tell you something."

You hum in response, sleep still interwined with your body, your arm tightening around him. You sigh in content, expecting him to elaborate.

He wets his suddenly dry lips. "I don't want this to end. In fact, ____.... I want more. Need more."

"Jungkook..." your whole body goes rigid right away, untanglling your bodies from each other and sitting up on the mattress.

"No, listen to me." he mimicks your movements, rapidly grabbing your hands to make you look at him. His eyes are expressive, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in his dark irises. "I wake up everyday, and you're the first thing I think of. I go on about my day, and I keep thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and counting down the hours until I get to see you again. I spend every night dreaming about you, and when we'e together, the only thing I can think about is how I wish I could stop time so I don't have to say bye to you the next morning. ____, I-"

"Jungkook, stop please." you shake your head, pushing away from him and in desperate need of air. You press a hand against your chest, beating back the throb of pain while the other curls in a tight fist, the feeling of your fingernails digging into your palm less painful than the ache inside your heart. "This... This wasn't supossed to happen, Jungkook." you start pacing around the room, as if trying to find an exit while avoiding his gaze. "This was just a summer fling. That's all it was, I'm supposed to come back to the city in two weeks and-"

"A summer fling?" a sardonic sneer comes out of him. "Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening again..." he mumbles to himself before rising from the bed. You stop immediately, a shiver quaking through you as his impressive frame intimidates His eyebrows are drawn together and his dark eyes are void of any prior emotion. "You're going back to the city in two weeks? And you didn't care to tell me until now, after I just spilled my guts to you?"

You eyes fill up with uncomfortable tears, reaching one arm towards him. "Jung-"

He flinches, taking one step back. "A summer fling is all I mean to you?"

"Ju- "

"Look me in the eyes, right now, and tell me that's all I mean to you. A summer fling." panic crawls up your throat. There's the need within you to confirm, to stare into his beautiful and stern eyes and tell him that, yes, that's all he is to you. But you've never been a good liar. So nothing comes out. You opt for wrapping your ams around yourself wishing they were his and lowering your eyes to the ground. "I think... I think you should leave."

Those are the last words he says to you, and the last thing you see when you turn around one more time after gathering your clothes, is his back as he looks out the window.

You allow yourself to cry the exact moment you step into Chaelin's apartment. Your friend is sitting on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand and a fresh cup of coffee sitting on the livingroom's table.

"Hey, you're early tod- Baby, what's wrong?"

"Please, don't laugh."

That morning, you lay down for hours on the couch with your head on Chaelin's lap while she softly brushes your hair as you cry, hiccup, fight through the pain in your heart and relate to her as best as you can the latest events.

She doesn't laugh at all.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"She'll come back." Mijoo's slurred words do nothing to put Jungkook's state at ease that night. He simply shrugs, fingers clenching at his sides, frowing into his drink before gulping down the bitter taste of vodka in one shot. "Seriously, I think she's just afraid. My ex was the same."

"Comparing her to your ex is not the analogy you think it is."

"Ugh, shut up. Things didn't work with my ex because she was a bitch." Jungkook gives Mijoo a pointed look which she responds to by rolling her eyes and sipping on her rum coke. "Your girl is not a bitch. She used to be a bitch. What she did this morning was bitchy, but, like I said, she's just being a pussy. If she only wanted sex with you, she wouldn't have been doing couple stuff with you the entire summer."

"Whatever. I don't care." he lies and Mijoo knows he's lying but decides to drop the subject fo now.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

"We can't keep spending our days smoking weed." Chaelin speaks over Blanche's voice on the TV.

"I know. I'm just sad."

"You have to come back and tell him how you feel."

"I know."

There's a beat of silence before your friend kicks your thigh with her feet.

"I know and I will." you mumble through red eyes and smoke clouds.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

It's September first and it doesn't feel like Jungkook's birthday at all. He's been trying to focus on his work, alternating between isolating in full hermit mode and hanging out with friends to drink away his sorrow. The days have gone by and before he could realize it, he woke up today with over twenty text messages wishing him a happy day and a throbbing hangover.

He dresses up on autopilot. First a cotton shirt, then a pair of jeans and lastly, his Nike's. He doesn't bother tying his sneakers just like he doesn't bother taking a shower. He smokes a cigarette for breakfast, the death stick making him feel nauseaus on an empty stomach. And then he goes to work.

He's been repeating the same routing for the past weeks and he's not thinking of changing it, not even on his bithday.

He spends hours drawing, tattooing and drawing some more between yawns. He ignores texts an phone calls and simply waits until the day is over to go home, go to bed and forget about the fact that you're probably on your way to the city and that he hasn't crossed your mind not even once.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Inkphoria.

You've been standing outside the shop re-reading the word for fifteen minutes, although it definitely feels like it has been longer. You're gripping cup of ice cream as it melts down your fingers the more you wait. The shop is already empty and it's starting to darken out side, and still you're so hot. Your shorts are heavy and your tank top is sticking to your skin. You didn't even bother to put on any make, although your eyebags definitely needed some concieling and your lashes some dimension to hide the fact that you'd been crying for the last few days.

'You're crazy about him.'

Chaelin's voice echoes inside your head.

You've lost count of how many times your best friend has given your advice, or simply encouraged you to do something you've been too scared to try.

'And he's cazy about you too.'

Chaelin might be wrong about marmite and the movie Cats, but she's definitely now wrong about anything regarding your and Jungkook.

That's it. You briefly close your eyes, inhale a deep breath then release it slowly. You start walking. It doesn't take longer than three strides and you're pushing the door open.

The tattoed blonde looks up from the counter the second you come into view. She smiles at the distance between you two. "You can come closer. I won't bite."

You clear your throat, stalking closer to her. "Is he-"

"He's in the back." she replies before you can finish you question. You close your mouth, clear your throat and nod your head.

"Thanks, Mijoo." she gives you a small wink, her smile easing your nerves like she had three months ago.

She watches you disappear. She shakes he head, her smile meeting her eyes. "I told him so."

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

Jungkook ignores the knock on his door at first. It's almost ten and the parlor is about to close. He just has to finish this last fucking sketch so he can grab his shit and go the fuck ho-

Knock knock.

He growls, exhasperation cursing through him. He runs a hand through his messy pile of hair, his rings tangling between the strands, making him wince in pain. "Come in." he grunts under his breath. The door opens. "Mijoo, I really have to finish-"

He stops dead in his tracks as soon as he sees you.

"Hey." you say after a moment of hesitation.

"Hey." he replies and although there's something inside, deep in his chest, shouting at him to stand up, run up to you and kiss your face while he tells you how beautiful you look right now and how happy he is to see that you're still here, he decides against it. "Listen, ____, I'm pretty busy-"

"No, you listen to me." you cut him off abruptly. He looks taken aback and is already opening his mouth to say something, but you're not having it. "Please, just... Let me talk."

Silence looms between the two of you for a while, a staring contest defying each other to back down. When you take one step inside and close the door behind you, he sighs and leans back against his chair.

You move towards him slowly, your lip caught between your lip going through your mind for the speech you'd been preparing the last few days. Your hands are sticky due to the the sugary treat liquifying in your hand. "I know there's no reason you should give me another chance after rejecting you in high school, and there's definitely no reason why you should forgive me for the way I shut you out a few weeks ago. You've been confessing your feelings to me since we were teenagers, and now it's my turn to tell you exactly how I feel about you."

"Jungkook, the truth is... I like you so much. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. Ever. I said this was just a summer fling, and I was lying. I was lying because there's no way a simple summer fling could make me feel the way you do. There's no way a simple summer fling could make me want not just summer with you, but also fall and winter, and spring and every summer that comes next."

You hadn't realize when your eyes filling up with tears until the sight of him starts blurrying in front of you. His fingers reach yours, his thumb comforting on your skin. "____, it's okay-"

"I'm not done yet." you sniffle, gathering enough courage to continue. "I brought you a lemon sherbet because you said it was your favourite. But you also implied I was your favourite, and I want to keep being you favourite, but now it's already melted and-"

The corners of Jungkook's lips start pulling upward as he tugs you towards him, his heart loudly jumping inside his chest. "Shhh, come here."

He takes the ice cream from your hand and places it on his desk. Then he's helping you onto his lap, your head tucked under his chin and your arms wapping on their own around his neck.

He doesn't care about your sticky fingers or the wet stains of your tears in his shirt. The only thing he cares about is the fact that you're right there, letting him engulf your frame and drown in the scent and warmth he'd misses so much.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━≾

The first day of June has Jungkook sweating and wishing for a haircut. Jungkook usually hates summer. He hates the fact that he has to shower at least twice a day, and the fact that the heat is almost unbearable to sleep in and also the fact that he's easily sunburnt.

This year, however, Jungkook likes summer a little bit more.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have an appointment?" it's the fact that you're starting to wear those summer dresses he loves so much, and the fact that your skin glows under the sun like glitter, and also the fact that he can lick ice cream off of it whenever he desires.

"I am the appointment." your giggle is almost childlike, playing with Jungkook's heart strings. You shut the door behind you, nearing him. You also seem to always have that flush on your cheeks. Although he likes to think part of it is due to him. He doesn't say anything else as he puts his pencil down and instead turns around in the chair to have you immediately on top of his thighs.

Yeah, he also likes the path your lips trace from his cheek, to his jaw, ending at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. It still makes his body quaver to this day.

"Let me see." he murmurs against you forhear, his hand already working on unbottoning the front of your dress.

"Mijoo hasn't left yet." you whisper back, your smile impossible to supress and the faint whimper impossible to hide when his fingers expose your breast and tug at the titanium barbell adorning the already hardened nub.

Jungkook loves knowing he was the one to do that, and also the only one to play with it. He doesn't hesitate when he dips his head. "As if we'd ever cared about that." he adds, wrapping your sole point in his mouth.

He fucks you on his studio table with your legs around his waist and his tongue playing with both your breasts, the tattoo sketches long forgotten, scattered on the floor as he whispers against your flesh something that sounds a lot like 'I love you'.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #bts #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook fic

7K notes · View notes