#and also daddy issues but this is a post about his mommy

[hearthouses]

Happy Wincest Wednesday! What are your preferred top/bottom configuration for Sam/Dean? Dom/sub? What are they like with other men vs each other?

I’m a switching truther at heart, but I’ve developed a bit of a preference for bottom!Dean specifically because I can never find bottom!Sam that is well characterized. As a rule, I think either of them bottoming or topping can be in character because good sex scenes are meant to be character-driven and about character development and relationship development, along with being sexy and titillating. I don’t subscribe to the notion that one way or another is more in character because I can think of ways all configurations work, especially with Sam/Dean. I don’t like being constrained as a writer to one configuration and I just don’t find it believable that they wouldn’t want each other in all the ways and to do everything together. 

But on the other hand, I don’t think that there is a 50/50 even split where they keep track of who topped and who bottomed last to try and keep it equal. If I am thinking about them having lazy, routine, tired sex, I do think that Sam topping and Dean bottoming is their creature comfort configuration that they naturally fall into when they just want to fuck and not think about it too hard. Ultimately, what it comes down to for me is does this work with everything that is going on with them? I need the writer to convince me that this would be a choice they would make at that moment. 

Sam bottoming is complicated because I think he has a lot of issues about control, especially when it comes to his body so I think he goes through eras where he prefers topping because bottoming makes him feel especially vulnerable. This is why, if he sleeps with other men, I doubt he ever bottoms with someone who isn’t Dean. They just do not have the same level of trust Dean is afforded. Early seasons Sam bottoms rarely and it’s in moments of high vulnerability, but I think later seasons Sam is more mellowed out and also more confident in himself and in his relationship with Dean that he’s able to allow himself to let go more. 

Dean bottoms often and with other men because he weaponizes his vulnerability and sexuality as his own form of control, but on the flipside, it can veer into unhealthy self-harm territory. I think bottoming for Sam feels different because Sam is very loving and shows a lot of care towards Dean. I do think he goes into eras where he doesn’t want to bottom or finds that kind of affection paid towards him suffocating and triggers his guilt, but I think post-Hell is the most complicated time period because I think he’s dealing with a lot of sexual trauma and nothing feels good. Dean topping should come in a service top flavor where he is focused on pleasing Sam and getting Sam off.I cannot buy Dommy McDommerson Toppy Top Daddy Dean who just takes what he wants and doesn’t care about anyone or anything. 

Dom/sub is more complicated because I don’t think it correlates to bottoming and topping, it’s more about their inner power struggles and the push-pull of their dynamic i.e. Dean could be physically bottoming, but emotionally dominating Sam. I think early seasons Sam may only allow Dean to dominate him on very rare occasions and I don’t think he gets into that really until S5 era and/or post-Cage era. I think Sam likes to be punished when he is submitting and wants to earn things through obeying, he doesn’t necessarily like being told what to do, but he wants to be seen as worthy. On the flipside, they probably have some kinky age regression Mommy Dom Dean where Sam allows Dean to caretake him and feels guilty about liking it so much. Dean, on the other hand, likes to be told what to do, to serve, but also be praised for it. I imagine he likes housewife roleplay a lot because it hits all of his specific buttons. I also think he can be a bratty sub to get more attention. I find the D/s discussion more interesting because I think it has more to do with their psyches than physical positioning, but so many people have linked the two together that it is unfortunately hard to untangle them in fandom.

[beetlebabby]

strahdtober day 20: mirror image

thinking a lot about ravenoia and strahd and their relationship. in my campaign, strahd looks more like his mother than his father

[freakinator]

clownpierce went to get milk 😔

[bitchthefuck1]

I actually don't fully vibe with my point here anymore. I think there's definitely an element of this going on, and it was never supposed to be a full explanation of his whole "thing", but it still feels a little too simplistic and overcooked. Post cancelled.

I feel like a really crucial scene for unpacking Roman's whole "oedipal" thing is the bit in Prague where he sees Tabitha, because one of the first things he says is "dad would go fucking nuts for her." He is constantly using "well it's what dad would do" as an explanation for his actions, and I genuinely think the jokes about wanting to fuck Marcia/Caroline are less about his mommy issues and any actual attraction to maternal figures and more about "well these are the women dad's into, so they must be the right women to be attracted to." It's like a defense mechanism--Logan can't think there's something "wrong" with his sexuality if they're attracted to the same people. It's what he would do.

Except this is obviously flawed logic that only makes him seem more "wrong," because "if dad does it then he must think it's okay to do and he won't get mad at me for it" isn't even the mostly-coherent reasoning of an adult choosing a partner their parents approve of, its the logic of a kid trying not to get hit.

[mellosdrawings]

So I've been obsessing over your Teen!Crewel posts (my friend and I love dabbling in that era too) and after reading that list of headcanons I have to wonder...since Divus rarely saw his parents do you think there anyone he lowkey saw as a parental figure? Like Trein or the butler that was mentioned? (my friend and I also diagnosed Divus with Daddy Issues due to his rebellious tendencies lmao)

Yes and no.

I'd say his relationship with his butler is somewhat equivalent to Batman and Alfred. Definitely a lot of love and something close to a father/son relationship, all the while keeping that professional distance between them. And Divus is highly independent so even before NRC he would just go days without seeing his butler because he was too busy doing stuff.

As for the teachers at school, there is definitely a thing about them being authority figures that are actually present in Divus's life and so he has no idea how to handle it properly without fighting back. His parents never tell him off. His butler never tells him off. So when his teachers disapprove of his actions, he doubles down hard. He acts like a child king because he's never ever had any opposition, and at the same time he's a neglected child who has no idea how to react when someone is proud of him.

And, you know, we talk a lot about daddy issues online, but me thinks Divus also has one hell of a mommy issue. Might even be worse than his daddy issues.

Anyway, daddy issues, mommy issues, that boy has it all.

At least he has his dogs... I guess.

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team yappers back on our nonsense again—-

oh brucie is gnna be MADDDDDD

even better if the family tries to force reader to let them have a relationship with their baby.

they can’t understand why sugarbaby baby turns into a young toddler that HATES them. reader know manipulations about them will fall through eventually, but telling a kid that the waynes hurt mommy and tried to hurt daddy??? oh, two can be manipulative family. and reader will NOT have the waynes near her child.

imagine if she took it to the media that they won’t leave her alone- or alternatively, blackmailed them into staying away. the way her thumb is hovering over a post button that would put proof of the batfamily’s vigilante antics onto the net…

I feel like the Gotham media is an underused plot devise, but I also think it's difficult to work with.

We can all mostly agree that the fanon Wayne family are the Kardashians of Gotham, so SugarBaby!Reader having such public issue's with the family would be fun. Plus, can you imagine all the hoops the family will have to go through just to keep up their public image? Good thing Dick grew up in the circus because their lives would end up becoming one.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Now, the thing about the kid hating the family can be legit. Especially if Reader and Older!Hubby live outside of Gotham. But, when your a kid you kinda fall for all sorts of manipulations. So, yes, they hurt mommy and daddy, but their also really really sorry. The groveling in this would be fun.

(Also the way Older!Hubby would cuddle the fuck outta y'all's kid as a passive aggressive way to prove that he was a better father than Bruce ever was, top tier. We stan equally petty Hubby!)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

As for Bruce, this is his worse nightmare. Like if Older!Hubby was someone he knew he'd feel slightly better because chances are he already has a contingency plan for him. But, if Bruce doesn't know him that means he has to start from scratch and he's not gonna enjoy doing surveillance on the guy who regularly rearranges his daughter's guts.

[rottenpumpkin13]

The post about Sephiroth scrolling through his tag is hilarious but kinda inaccurate because he didn't come across anything about Sephiroth x Cloud lol it also made me think about how would insane Sephiroth aka him after the Nibelheim incident would react to scrolling through the Sephiroth tag again

Tbh I was going for in-world Sephiroth finding his tag on social media but I got it lmao 😭 👍

*Sephiroth scrolls through the tag with inhuman speed*

Sephiroth: Fan art of me standing in flames... accurate. Fan art of me impaling President Shinra...poetic. Fan art of me completely nude... inaccurate, grossly underestimated anatomy.

*Scrolls*

Sephiroth: Memes mocking my monologues. Memes about my "mommy issues", which mother will hear about. Sephiroth X Reader 2k words NSFW... insulting. Sephiroth x Reader fluff where the reader coddles him... intriguing.

*Scrolls*

Sephiroth: Another Sephiroth X Reader' fan work... "You get impaled but it's romantic"... Hmph. How is impaling made romantic?

*He clicks it and skims the text*

Sephiroth: Hm. Erotica.

* He scrolls more, pauses at fan art of himself cradling Jenova lovingly*

Sephiroth: Finally, someone captures familial devotion.

*Scrolls further*

Sephiroth: An image of me labeled "Daddy"... Curious. I have no offspring.

*Scrolls*

Sephiroth: There is nothing of interest to me on this website.

*Pauses at Sefikura fan art—Sephiroth with his tongue down Cloud's throat*

Sephiroth: I was wrong. This is an inspiring, motivational, and heartwarming image.

*Clicks on the sefikura tag*

Sephiroth: Oh.

Sephiroth, clicking on the first sefikura enemies to lovers nsfw slowburn he finds: .....Oh.

[bear-remn]

— kanato headcanon's

hii, omg i laugh a little while reading this, bc its so true! kanato can be put in a stereotype and cant get him out if that but ill do my best so i hope i dont desappoint!! and ty so much for enjoying my blog, it means a lot to me that you guys like what i write and specially my art!

so here i bring kanato, and with a little warning as well as i did with laito, kanato is also a very complex and deep character, he isnt childish all the time and definetly not a kid, he is a hole ass man with the usual mommy and daddy issues (cortesy of diabolik lovers to every character)

tw: this post has nsfw content (+18) , so if you dont like it dont read it!!

kanato was so friking difficult to draw, i dont love it but in another moment ill draw him again until i like the result.

his looks and selfcare

so, kanato, i have some thoughts, to begin with lets talk about his appearence, i like to think that kanato has the kind of ethereal beauty, maybe bc he is the one who looks the most like his mother, so the beauty is serving. kanato has round eyes and long lashes, and his dark circles juts makes his gaze pop out.

oh, and kanato gaze? i think he may be the most scary one, ofc not all the time, kanato round eyes makes him have a cute and friendly gaze and as well one that sink into you the moment he see's you with dark eyes and a terrifiying aura.

i like to think that kanato has the most pretty eyes of the sakamaki brothers, and even if his brothers may say he is kind of femenine, kanato doesnt care, he may be more of a femenine beauty but still is so godamn handsome.

i like to think that kanato does not really take care of his skin. its like shu, he has a pretty and soft skin just by washing his face with water, dont have acne even he always eat sweets, but he do use a good soap like laito, a bar soap and only for his face, and really hates when his brothers use it for their hands, kanato throws it away if that happen's.

i think kanato has a sensitive skin so he has to be carefull with what he cleans himself, one time in his teen years, kanato used ayato soap by mistake and he got urticaria, but the soap was'nt used before so kanato knew it was'nt for the dirty soap, it was just a cheap soap. since then kanato only use natural soaps, he likes lavanda ones, vanilla or coconut, he likes sweets escents. also uses natural shampoo.

kanato prefers long baths bc he enjoys the hot water, and really really hates cold showers.

kanato likes to style his hair, he doesnt have fluffly hair, so he has to style it to have more volume.

i think kanato do not use sunscreen, he thinks its dumb since he is a vampire and tecnically dont age like a human so he isnt worried for that.

and since kanato has sensitive skin, i belive he also has some sensorial issues, like he can't stand someting itchy or to rough to the touch. kanato will literally burn it, he has to feel soft clothes, like cotton or silk, and yes, he loves silk, actually, kanato has slik sheets and pillows.

i think kanato has a normal sense of fashion, like i dont get why people sometimes put kanato in lolita or cute core or whatever, kanato really loves comfy clothes and more like "grandpa" clothes, like chunky sweaters, he likes to use belts and classic shoes, dont like sneakers.

and for his body, i think he does have wide shoulders, but he is skinny bc he dont excersize, it happens the same with the sunscreen, kanato think is dumb to excersize bc he has super strenght so he does'nt really need muscles to prove how powerful he is. kanato has big and slim hands, good cared nails. i also think kanato dont have a small waist, he has a more thick waist and prominent v line, but not so much like his brothers. i like to think that kanato has a mole on his side stomach.

and he also can grow a beard but dont like it, he think he looks terrible and freak out a little every time he sees a little hair on his chin.

random stuff

so, i have a lot of thoughts in kanato.

to begin with, i think kanato has a lot of sensorial issues, like he cant stand being with a big group of people for too long, the noise of people talking or just hearing them breath it makes kanato stress out a lot. this also happens with food, if the food has a weird texture he has the instict of throw up. and lastly i think this also happens with the touch, like if he touch sticky things, clumpy or bumpy, something of a strange consistency, kanato will go crazy.

and i also think (maybe canon?? im not sure) kanato is not a cry baby, its just his way of manipulate things at his favor when he needs it. i think he only has really cried for anger in his life, not really bc he is sad.

i think kanato likes to collect figures, not teddy bears of plushies, he likes specially horror figures, like lucky boxes or just iconic horror figures. and speaking of horror, kanato is a big fan! he has maga, movies and books of horror stories, he thinks humans maybe do has good ideas but sometimes he thinks its too absurd, like zombies? where did that come from?

i think kanato likes to walk, just, go around and take long walks, it help him clear his mind and dont think too much of his mother. and its no secret kanato has a hard time in rainy day so i think he listen to music with earphones bc he feels down if he hears the rain.

i also think kanato has a special way of expressiong himself with other people, like, he takes everything literal so he says things very literal, and has a short temper, cant stand stupid or slow people (me neither kanato, i got you) it gets on his nervers.

i like to think that kanato gets the ick with a lot of things, like if he sees someone drop their food and pick it up again and eat it, kanato cant belive it, or when someone says a joke that its not funny, he gets the ick, also when someone has bad taste in music, kanato cant stand bad music.

and speaking about music, kanato is a big fan of the classics singers, but also some divas, he just likes how their voice can go so high. but he dont really like singning, he despite its but love it at the same time. vampire things.

nsfw

so... kanato is one fo a kind. maybe the most kinky out of his brothers.

so to begin with, kanatos dick, a solid 16 cm, very avegare, mostly for his complexion. is a pretty dick, with a pink tip and not pubic hair, kanato has two veins coming from the croch to his tip. and its slightly pointing up with a little curve.

(and btw, so its not too crazy, the lengts i put are when they are hard, like hard and wild. i belive all the brothers are team blood, except for subaru but thats another story)

i think kanato its a switch, but he prefer to be dominant rathen than being dominated. oh and he has a really high sex drive, but not like, with everyone, when he is into you and really loves spending time with you he get the urge to be under your skin everytime he can, but likes to make you know it too, he wants you to want it.

i think kanato can be very unpredictable, mostly bc his mood swings a lot, but if you are patience and please as he wants you to, he may become interested in you, constantly looking out for you and wanting to spend time with you, thats his love lenguage, quality time!

at first i think kanato will ask you to do things for him, and in some point he will start doing things for you, like if kanato sees you cooking he may join to help, at the begining you are in shock for his actions, so caring and nice all of the sudden, but then you will get use to it, and if you two are close enough. kanato will tease you in a cute way.

"am i suppose to be impressed by your cooking? maybe if you cook topless il be more thrilled hehe"

you see, kanato is not really a dirty talker, he has a more sooting tone and his way of speak when he wants to get you in the mood its more loving and like a smooth seductive. oh and he will call you by nicknames before having sex, but during it kanato loves to say your name or call you a good girl.

i think kanato also loves spending time with you, like a little cute married couple.

and if you two are doing any other activity he suddenly will kiss you, just bc he finds you so cute and precious, he cant get his eyes off your lips, he loves kissing you. kanato is a tender kisser, likes to feel to softness of you lips and how your tongue respond to his, and if you two kiss for a while he can get worked up "you like kisses? i'll kiss every part of you, so be a good girl, okay?" and then will start kissing your neck, likes to kiss right where the big vein in your neck pump, he can feel the blood flows through his lips and that is a turn on for him.

"you like when i kiss you here dont you?... i feel how your body tremble when i do it... you're so cute like this..."

kanato takes his time with you, likes to build up the mood and stuff. when he get enough of you neck, he'll mess with your earlobe and your chest. kanato dont love to be rough in bed so the foreplay is really calm and slow. will put his knee bewteen your legs as he suck on your tits, likes to play with your boobs, suking your nipples makes him so hard while hearing you moan softly while gripping his hair, and he loves when you hold onto his hair.

kanato is'nt a rusher but when you had enough of teasing he will take your clothes, and i mean it, kanato will tear them from your body.

"i don't care about your clothes, i'll buy you nices dresses so i can rip every one off your body"

and maybe unexpected, but kanato do likes 69, likes to eat you out so much, he think that your juices are as good as your blood, and he definetly makes you eat pinapple with him for this moment. he likes to tease your clit and sometimes will stick a finger inside you as he keeps on sucking you. and a little detail i like, i that when you suck him off, kanato doesnt realize his hips moves unvoluntary, so sometimes you may gag, and after you cum or he does, your eyes will be really watery from how many times he thrust into your troat.

oh, and he also likes to play with candles while fucking you, like when he is inside but not moving waiting for you to feel confortable, kanato will take a candle and with his powers he get the fire to melt a little so little but hot drops of candle fall into your stomach and chest.

kanato is a classic, loves missionary, mostly bc he loves to watch your face while fucking you, kanato is a slow and deep kind of guy, like he makes sure you feel him real good so he tends to take it all out to put it back again. and really loves seeing how it goes in, he thinks its very romantic to see how your bodies make one.

"you should see this... you take me so well... so good for me... you're such a good girl for me..."

and when the pace become steady he will be hipnotized by your tits bouncing, he loves your boobs. probably will stick a finger inside your mouth as he keep going.

but i also think kanato can be a player, a really kinky one.

for started, kanato likes the dinamic where he is the one in charge and you are his slave, his pleasure slave, and when he is in that kind of mood, kanato will tie you up, use his powers to make you stay still and play with you, loves to edge you, cut your pleasure gives him pleasure, hearing your cries for not cuming and desperate moans makes him really hard.

like if your are getting fingered he will take his fingers before you cum and if you attempt to touch yourself he will use his powers to make you stay still "oh... dont be a bad girl, you'll come when i say so... either way i am the one controling your body... hehe" and then he will finger you hard to make you cum, kanato loves to hear how wet your pussy get that he will ride you trough you climax by oral.

and he has make you squirt but he doesnt know how, the firts time you squirt was on a busy night, you had come a lot by that point and he just keep going even after you just cum, no breaks, so kanato was amused when he sees how you wet the bed and his legs got, he thought it was so hot that he got mad bc he didnt get to drink it all.

and if kanato feels to horny, probably for the full moon, he will get savage. starting soft and nice but at some point of the night kanato will be basically destroying your pussy, like fucking you so pussy drunk he cant stop even if you had cum before. loves to heard the wet sound every thrust makes.

"fuck... you might eat me tonight... hehe... how can you feel so good huh?... keep cuming... i have more for you" and with his sloppy thrust, cocky grind and needy eyes. dear lord.

when kanato is about to cum he will start to fuck you a little harder, and will bite you at the moment too sometimes. kanato will thrust deep as he feel it coming.

"be a good girl and take it... yes... such a good girl for me.."

the aftercare its two ways, or you and him cuddle for a while and then sleep after cleaning himself and you with wet wipes, or you two go for a snack before goign to sleeep. you know, to keep the sugar high.

and when you two are well rested he may began kissing your neck again while playing with you nipples "you deserve a reward for making me feel so good... i think you are able to take another one... right?"

── more of my content here!

[julymusings]

If Jason were to write a book what genre or type of book do you think he would write?

I've been tossing around the idea of him older, more introspective and able to look back on some of his rougher moments with a rueful smile, and writes a kind of sort of autobiography(? I don't think that's the particular word I'm looking for.)

It would be fiction, he'd take some creative liberties here and there. In the end I think it would be thereputic. He'd be able to write out all the knarly, dark things he did... his life is so wild it already sounds like a story. Which it is because he's a fictional characer...

What do you think?

-🐒

i think when channeling his own experience he'd write really gritty & gnarly horror goth fiction. Like I'm talking disturbing. He's projecting all his demons onto that page. He's turning into Shirley Jackson, he's writing like The Picture of Dorian Gray, he's letting the spirit I of Mary Shelley herself take ahold of his body and writing the most heart-wrenching, gruesome, misunderstood monster you've ever seen in your life and the entire time it's an allegory for himself. Like I cannot stress enough how angsty his goth horror fiction is. It is rife with mommy issues and daddy issues and self-esteem and self-image issues. Poor baby somebody save him (i can save him I can fix him).

But we all know this man is THE yearner, he's gone pro and won the gold for yearning. He's so sad and starving pathetic and he loves the classics so he'd also write period romances with the most down bad, puppy dog, worship-the-ground-she-walks-on male love interest. I think there's two ways he'd channel his experience into this: writing about ye olden days where a commoner-underdog tries to woo a high society woman (resembling his childhood in crime alley), or some kind of miserable heir who wants to escape the suffocating expectations of his family and run away with a commoner who he fell in love with (resembling his role as Bruce Wayne's son). Both are possible routes he'd take with writing period romances, but the one that I think he 100%, without a doubt is publishing under a female pseudonym and becoming a worldwide sensation for is:

knight x princess

COME ONNNN YOU KNOW HE'D EAT THAT SHIT UPPPPPPP!!!! HE WORSHIPS WOMEN HE'S A HOZIER-LEVEL YEARNER!! ("a gentleman wouldn't worship and tell") he'd spend HOURS researching things like renaissance fashion and have multiple tabs of dresses and garments from those times. anyone who catches a glimpse of his search history would be...confused.

but getting to your actual point about something more autobiography-style, i think he would write a coming-of-age, the outsiders-style novel that's based on his own life about someone from a place like crime alley going through the things he went through. it would make everybody cry and be a NYT bestseller and be the kind of book that english teachers assign because it has the voice of someone young who's going through all that stuff but still be wise and insightful and have all these clever themes and allegories. and maybe he'd throw some romantic elements in there....but maybe not idk

i can't decide if he'd want his romances to have happy endings or be tragedies though.....maybe he'd switch it up with each book depending on how he's feeling at the moment. either way they'd be bestselling novels and turned into movies that become classics that middle schoolers watch in class and experience their first love from seeing the leads on screen and make edits of to post on tiktok (like ralph macchio in the outsiders yk)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me"

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong"

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon",

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[stargazedwinchester]

Casual | Dean

love a bit of chappell don’t we guys xox

i rlly enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy reading it!! this is very much inspired by the song, but not necessarily a songfic :)

CW: mentions of s*x, nothing too provocative

Summary: You and Dean are casual friends with benefits until you uncover the truth about how you actually feel toward him.

Word count: 1,133

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

“I, uh, think I should get you home,” Dean says. The silence is palpable. You feel awkward and like you don’t belong, so you let out a defeated sigh. He’s shirtless, his slight 6-pack glistening with sweat as he attempts to dry himself off with a towel. You felt as if you couldn’t catch your breath, whether it was just from the insane sex you had just endeavoured or Dean’s pitiless words that filled your lungs with regret.

“Okay.” You give up. Each time you attempt to feel a connection with him — a real, deep connection, it’s like he wipes it from his memory as soon as you’re both finished and goes back to reality. Post-nut clarity, if you will.

It’s not like he doesn’t find you attractive. Hell no. It’s his intense lack of commitment issues and mommy/daddy issues that give him such a hard time completely dedicating himself to someone. The hundreds of arguments you had gotten into over the people he had slept with whilst also sleeping with you just gave you second-hand embarrassment. In fact, it was downright wrong it should’ve been illegal.

You manage to tumble out of bed butt-naked, slowly getting your clothes back on ready for the silent drive home. You almost gape in awe at Dean’s silhouette. Heavy feelings weigh down on your heart for someone who doesn’t even think of you in any other way other than for intimacy is so challenging, especially on your own self-worth.

Dean doesn’t say a word to you. He sits back down on the bed and starts typing on his phone. He’s wearing a light grey t-shirt and charcoal grey jeans. The small screen lights up his face and a slight grin slowly appears and your heart sinks. Without even looking, you already know he’s talking to some other bitch, in which he’s probably going to go pick her up after he’s dropped you off at home.

“You ready?” You ask him, breaking the one-way tension in the room. “Yeah,” He says, standing up and leading you out toward the car.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

On the drive home, it’s dark and rainy. The streetlights emit a dim, dusty champagne colour, yet the awkward tension isn’t anything worth celebrating.

“What’re you doing after this?” He asks, not breaking focus from the road. “Probably just go straight to bed,” you reply, shrugging lightly. “What about you?”

“I’m going to go visit a friend of mine,” He coughs, then purses his lips. “She lives about half an hour thataway.” He motions his pointer finger toward the left.

She.

The anger builds up inside of you. After all this time, you had thought that he wasn’t seeing anybody else, that you had only mindfully agreed that this thing stays between the pair of you, and this included sleeping around. What a fucking tool.

“Listen, it’s nice and all that you’re giving me a lift home, but you’re really taking the cake by pretending like you’re not seeing other people.” You lock eyes with him, and his expression changes.

“What, so you’re jealous now? Is that it?” He scoffs, and you freeze up. “So what if I am? We had an agreement that we weren’t gonna sleep with anyone else! We said that!” You start to raise your voice, frustration running right through your blood as it starts to boil.

“I’ve mentioned it to you multiple times before. I don’t understand why you can’t listen to me! It’s fucking gross, Dean! You need a huge reality check because this isn’t gonna last forever.” You wave your finger between yourself and Dean, indicating that whatever it is that you both have going on is at its final straw. He scoffs again, shaking his head. It’s almost like he wants to say something, but bites his tongue. He presses his foot on the pedal, coming to a stop. It’s that sudden you hit your head on the headrest.

“Y/N-“

“I don’t want to hear it. Take me home.”

“Lis-“

“Fucking take me home, Dean. I mean it.”

For the rest of the drive, you’re in silence. Nothing on the radio, no cassette tape playing, not even the windows open to hear the sound of the rain pattering on the windscreen.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

He parks the Impala outside of your house, and since the quietness has given you a second to rethink the whole situation.

“Dean,” you start, and his big, puppy-dog eyes glare at you with regret. “What’s up?” He asks and this time it sounds like it was with genuine concern.

“I have to tell you something before I go.” You state, and he nods, listening.

“The reason why I was jealous is that I’m in love with you, Dean. It’s hard seeing you go away and spend time with all these different people and I just get a fraction of you. It’s unfair that I’ve spent the last year or so falling in love with you and you see me as nothing more than someone to play with.” You pause, then take a deep breath.

“You don’t need to say anything else because I’m done. It’s friends or nothing. If I hear nothing from you within the next 3 days, then I’ll know where your priorities lie.”

You start to collect your bags together and open the passenger door. He’s left stunned, his eyebrows raised, his mouth slightly agape and his eyes showing enough sadness to make you want to apologise for going off at him and then travelling back to the motel for round 2.

You can tell that the cogs are turning in his head, thinking of what to say that would completely win you over. But there’s absolutely nothing that he could do or say that could make you turn back around. You shut the door, but the window is still open.

“Y/N, hold up a sec,” He yells through the window while you’re almost halfway up the path. You turn around and lock eyes with him.

“Please come back, let’s talk about this.” He leans over to the passenger seat, his gorgeous forest green eyes staring up at you.

“3 days, Dean. Prove that you’re not an asshole and I’ll think about it.” You say one last time before turning back around to the front of your house. The last thing you want is Dean never wanting to see you again.

You enter the entryway to your home and make your way up the stairs. Opening up your bedroom door, you take a moment to collect yourself, instead of thinking God, what have I done? You sit proud that you have stood up for yourself against someone who has clearly used you for nothing more than his own selfishness. And if that is the case, well... so be it.

[aishnico]

https://www.tumblr.com/aishnico/727555979828412416/more-cliff-please-omg

It was so beautiful can you do one about a daughter pls …. Mommy with lol

#𝘾𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙁 𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙊𝙉: 𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

» summary: the talented bassist cliff burton himself plants flowers with his wife and daughter

» word count: 2.8k

» warnings: none, except tooth-rothing fluff (+ 🎁) allusions to suggestiveness ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), grammar issues

» a/n: i’m not gonna excuse myself for posting this after more than a year (i bet whoever sent me this request hates me even 😞) it was kinda difficult for me to write this because before the final version, i wrote couple of other versions which i’ve found them cringe (this is also) so i deleted them. anyway i hope y’all like it 😓💕

cliff burton is a great bassist of one of the best bands in the world. he’s written many iconic songs, and has performed in countless stages both around the country and world legendarily. he is loved at almost every corner around the world, and a lot of people are following the road he leads and wishing to become like him.

who would ever think that he’s good at gardening too?

“sweetheart, what are you doing?” cliff paused digging a hole in the soil. he just got a giggle from your daughter, obviously knowing that she’s up to something. “nothing~ why would you ask that?”

“aren’t you the one who pleaded to buy these flower seeds? and yet here i am, doing all the work… not fair, dove, not fair.” he dramatically sighed, causing another giggle let out from her.

“i’ll join you just in a second, daddy.” there was a mischief in her tone. and he felt her tiny hands on his long, auburn hair again. he could see where was this going, but didn’t say anything more.

“where’s mommy?” cliff asked, changing the subject. she shrugged off, “she said she’ll pay a visit to auntie bonnie but that was like an hour ago?”

“auntie bonnie?” he paused, lifting an eyebrow. “she didn’t say anything about it to me.”

she didn’t reply as she started to hum a familiar song he couldn’t recognize yet. he decided to ask you about it later. “hey, can you pass me that flowering can?”

he sighed quietly when he realized she was too busy to braid his hair, not to mention that she was putting a couple of flowers here and there. she frowned when he suddenly stood up, causing his half-braid to come loose and flowers falling. “daddy, you ruined everything!”

“ruined what, doll?” he chuckled, grabbing the watering can he mentioned. “if you’re not gonna help me, i’ll get no presents for you from tours.” obviously lying…

“wha- that’s not fair!” she pouted, causing him to laugh. with one quick move, cliff lifted her, causing her to gasp loudly. “put me down!” soon the sounds of laughter filled the backyard as he started to spin her in his arms.

“are you gonna help me now?” he planted a kiss on her cheek, and she squeezed her eyes in discomfort. “your mustache tickles.”

“i’m not gonna shave it though.” she could feel his hidden smirk.

“yeah, don’t do it. it suits you.”

“oh yeah? good to hear that.” when he was about to kiss her cheek again, the parking sound of a car was heard. she look at him, excited. “do you think it’s mommy?”

“there’s one way to find out.” he only hyped up her, causing her to smile more. “c’mon”

cliff sneaked to the front of the house with your daughter in his arms, trying to imitate a secret agent to excite her more. “what do you see?” she whispered to him.

“hmm,” he saw nothing but your car and your thoughtful figure as you were looking at some papers. he wondered if this was somehow connected with his sister. “i see our runaway and the car she stole without any permission.”

“oh no!” she put her hands on her mouth, covering. “do you think she’s hiding something from us?”

“i’m afraid, that’s how it seems…” he dramatically lowered his gaze and pressed his lips together. she gasped loudly again in response.

you heard some whispers behind the house, lifting your left eyebrow in curiosity and checking if there was someone there. as you heard the familiar gasp, you smirked to yourself and put the papers inside your bag. you made your way to the backyard in big, slow steps. the whispers stopped, and when you turned your head to look behind the house you gasped, horrified. “boo!”

“sh-“ you look at cliff with a panicked face, not finishing what was coming. “sweetheart, you scared me!”

“teehee, you deserved that, mommy!”

your right hand was still holding your chest to ease up. ���what did i even do?”

“you left us without saying anything in the morning, i woke up in the cold bed, you know..” you felt cliff’s free hand wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “hi, love.” he murmured against your neck.

a soft sigh left your mouth as you planted a gentle kiss on top of your daughter’s head while your other hand was patting your husband’s fluffy hair. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to worry both of you.”

“it’s okay, now that mommy’s here, we all can plant the flowers right?” she asked with excitement.

“yeah, but first, i’m gonna change my clothes.” you smiled and pinched her cheek while freeing yourself from cliff, not missing shooting a wink to him before entering the house. cliff put her down, fixing her hair. “i’ll be right back, don’t touch anything before we return okay?” when she nodded to him he followed you behind.

you were checking yourself out in the mirror when cliff bursted inside the room. there was a confused look on his face which you couldn’t understand why. he made his way towards you and wrapped his long arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck once again. “hi again, love.”

“hey,” you didn’t move as you let him stay like this a little bit more. “is everything alright?”

“yeah, it’s just like i said, i was a little bit sad when i woke up without you by my side, you know i’m leaving soon.”

“ugh don’t remind me…” you sighed in sadness. “sorry again.”

“where were you by the way? princess told me that you went to see bonnie.”

“uh, yeah.” you slightly shifted from your position. “i needed to talk to her about something.”

you felt him move his hands from you, moving to the bed. “you act so mysterious, you know, but i’m not gonna question it.” he threw one of his t-shirts to you before leaving the room. you quickly put it on and followed him behind. it caught him off guard when you wrapped your arms around his torso, slowly moving his head backward to meet your gaze.

“hey, i’m not hiding from you okay? nothing bad i mean…”

“oh so you are hiding something?” he playfully asked, making you break the eye contact with a little bit of shyness.

“we’re going to talk about it later, yeah? promise.” you planted a short yet gentle kiss on his lips on your tiptoes. when you wanted to walk away, cliff pulled you gently to himself, putting his large hands on your already-heated cheeks. he connected your lips in a second, starting a gentle kiss. you hummed and opened your mouth for more access. he smiled before deepening the kiss without realizing it, then leaned his forehead on yours.

“cliff,” you broke the kiss unwillingly. “we should get going before she starts whining.”

“yeah, right” he sighed and intertwined your hands, leading you to the door. when you reached the backyard again, you saw your daughter lying on the grass, making a flower crown of various ones while humming a song. you stopped cliff, turning your face to him.

“babe, can you please get the camera from the living room? i really want to take a photo of her in that position.” he hummed then made his way back to the house again. you smiled at how your little girl was looking beautiful and serene. that moment, you decided to sneak behind her and surprise her like she did to you. but when you got closer to her, she suddenly shifted her gaze to you with a smile.

“well well, what do we have here?” you made her blush as you laid beside her. “hi, mommy! i missed you.”

“i missed you too sweetie! auntie bonnie says hi and misses you too. asked me to kiss you for her.” she giggled when you planted a wet kiss on her cheek. “i miss her too,” then she gasped. “can i go sleepover at her?” her eyes shone.

“for tonight?”

“yeah!”

“all right, i’ll ask her. but you have to help us to plant all these seeds which you begged us to buy, remember?”

“right..” she huffed and rolled her eyes. “when they are even going to bloom?”

“well, roses will bloom in about one and a half months. as for lilies and dahlias, it might take three or four…”

“that’s so long!” she whined. “but baby, we warned you when we were buying these.” there was a pout now on her face, and you decided to tickle her to make her laugh as you heard cliff’s approaching steps.

you slid both of your arms under her armpits and started to tickle her. seconds later sounds of non-stopping loud laughter filled the backyard. “m-mommy sto- hahaha!”

“think about how gorgeous they will look after months, love. we’re going to be the prettiest ones i swear.”

“really?!”

“yeah, all of our friends and relatives will want to take them for themself. but we’re not gonna let them, will we?”

“of course n- hahahaa! s-stop!” when her eyes welled up due to laughing you did as she said.

“say cheese!”

both of you turned your faces where the voice came from with the same expressions.

*click*

cliff walked towards you and laid beside both of you while waiting for the photo to come out. seconds later, you saw your and your daughter’s breathless and wide smiling faces. she took the photo of him and giggled. “we look so good, aren’t we, daddy?”

“damn right you both do.” he smiled but his face got wrinkled when you hit his chest with your elbow. “ouch!”

“what’s ‘damn’?” she asked curiously.

“what, did you mishear? he said ‘darn’, sweetie. now go and put the photo somewhere safe.” she nodded and ran a little bit far from you.

“you weren’t supposed to say that, you know?” you whispered quite annoyed.

“sorry, babe. it’s just out of habit.” he managed to quickly kiss you before you could say anything. you melted the moment you felt his lips on yours.

“she told me that she misses her auntie nowadays. even wants to go sleepover to her tonight.” he mumbled to your ear, making you blush a little bit. “she said the same things to me as well.” you replied.

“what do you think, hm?” it wasn’t helping when he was rubbing his nose on your cheek.

“i said, i’ll think about it.” you bit your lip and when your daughter was approaching you pushed him off.

“so, the seeds!” cliff cleared his throat then stood up while reaching his arm to you to help you stand up. you gladly took his hand.

“first, dig some not-too-deep holes okay? leave some space between them.” he instructed her as she hummed, doing as he said. “how many i should?”

“three seeds per flower should be enough.” you answered while watering the seeds cliff planted before.

“three is not enough!” she whined.

“sweetie, those nine seeds will tire you out before you can think of planting more.” cliff replied, putting little colorful flags she had made near the seeds. “you done?” she nodded in response.

“great, now grab the rest of the seeds and bury them into those holes. don’t forget to place these cute flags you made near them to remember where you buried them, alright?”

“yeah!” she excitedly ran to the little table where the packet was. seconds later, she returned and started to place them into holes. cliff glanced at her and walked to her side. “hey hey hey, if you’re gonna bury dahlias, you need to dig a little bit deeper.”

“but you said ‘not too deep’.” she got confused.

“well, glad i glanced at you now. i forgot to tell you an important thing about this. seeds of roses are small, that’s why you should bury them not too deep. size of lilies is bigger than roses so you need to bury them a little bit deeper than them. and dahlias’ seeds are bigger than these two. so you need to bury deeper compared to them.”

while he was explaining her details about seeds, you decided to take advantage of this moment and take a photo of them while being busy burying seeds. you grabbed the camera which wasn’t too far from you and positioned it comfortably.

she was digging and he was watching her movements carefully. when he told her to stop, both of them put a seed in a hole and then started to bury it.

*click*

both of them froze and then looked in your direction. you smiled at them and approached them. seconds later, the photo where they were planting appeared in your hands. “both of you look so good, i won’t distract you again.” you moved off from them after kissing their cheeks. cliff smiled like an idiot, watching you go in another direction with melted eyes. this didn’t escape her notice as she grinned. “daddy!” she called out to move his attention.

“ahem! yeah right, now put those flags and then you can start watering them.”

after spending about half an hour in the backyard, three of you decided to finally rest at home. cliff fell asleep on the bed more quickly than you expected. while you were lying beside him, moving his hair out of his face, the door slowly opened. it was no one but your daughter, looking secretly behind the door. you smiled and invited her to lay beside her daddy. her mouth opened in excitement then left the room. a confused look appeared on your face, trying to understand what happened. about five minutes later, she appeared in your room again this time with a couple of flowers in her hands. she sneakily got on the empty side of the bed with a grin.

“baby, what are you up to?” you asked in a whisper.

“while you were gone, i wanted to try something new on daddy. but he must have understood what i was trying to do so he ruined it.” she whispered back, already playing with his hair.

“ruined ‘what’ darling?”

“shh! you need to sleep too.” you just chuckled and rolled your eyes playfully, continuing to examine your oh-so-handsome husband, fingers caressing his pale cheeks. a couple of minutes later, your daughter got out of bed with a satisfied smile. “done, i’ll be right back.”

still being confused, you didn’t think much about her intentions. suddenly, his eyelashes started to flutter with furrowed eyebrows. you chuckled at his grumpy face. a loud yawn escaping from his lips as he tries to open his eyes wildly. when he saw your figure next to him, his expression changed into soft immediately. his arms wrapping around your torso once again. “morning, beautiful.”

“it’s actually afternoon but anyway. morning, handsome.” you giggled.

“a perfect way to wake up...” he mumbled with his husky voice, eyes now examining your face with pure adoration.

“i talked with bonnie, she said she would be delighted to have her as a guest tonight.” you gave him a sly grin.

“perfect, i’ll take her there in the evening.” he grinned the same way you did.

“cliff,” you bit your lip. “you know i can’t keep secrets from you right, so i’m gonna tell you something really important.”

his expression changed again into a serious one, eyebrows were furrowed again in worry.

“no, no, there’s nothing to worry about okay?” you inhaled, trying to find words to continue.

sounds of heavy steps were heard behind, cliff slowly turned around to look. and then…

*click*

cliff furrowed his eyebrows more, this time in confusion. “sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

“nothing, you just look really pretty, daddy.” she giggled and then ran in a second. cliff looked at both of his sides and then froze in place. “cliff?” you straightened up and looked in his direction then a gasp left from you.

his hair was in a long braid with various flowers.

he chuckled at the sight. touching his stylish hair. you smiled and put your head on top of his shoulder. “it suits you.”

“so that was what she was trying to do since morning huh…” he laughed.

“i saw her making a flower crown, she was probably gonna put it on your hair and then take a photo of you. but since you made her work today, she couldn’t get a chance before.”

“i don’t mind though if it makes her happy.”

“you’ll mind it if she shows that picture to her metallica uncles.” you smirked mischievously. his face fell exactly at that moment, quickly got up and went after her. “princess, if you show that photo to others, you’ll regret it later!” he shouted behind her.

sounds of giggles and laughter filled around the house not much later. while you were lying on the bed alone, you thought how lucky you were to have them and how you were gonna tell them that another flower was about to bloom nine months later.

dude was a family man i’m sure he would be happy to have more kids 🫂

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

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♡ mithi ♡ she/they ♡ 16 ♡ desi ♡ lesbian ♡ demiromantic(?) ♡ 12th grade science ♡ intj-t ♡ libra ♡ 5'6 ♡ wear glasses ugh ♡ ravenclaw ♡ cabin 13 (v ironic considering my theme ik) ♡ poet & writer & artist ♡ maladaptive daydreamer ♡ music lover ♡ reader ♡ academic validation vs constant procrastination ♡ ever-present sapphic yearning ♡ desperately need to touch grass ♡ gritted-tooth optimist ♡ thought daughter ♡ main fandoms: marauders & pjo (expect others tho) ♡

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dni ! ✖ racists ✖ misogynists ✖ homophobes ✖ transphobes ✖ anti-choice ✖ trump supporters ✖ jkr supporters ✖ any bigots at all ✖ will prolly not respond to dms that only say 'hi' or 'hey' (it's almost always the old creepy men who do this??)

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❀ @tired-n-trying - studyblr ❀

❀ @thy-wench-hath-gone - ns/fw ❀

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✩ trad blog ✩ ao3 ✩ pinterest ✩ spotify (i use amazon music but all my fandom playlists r here!) ✩

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hobbies !

⋆ reading ⋆ writing ⋆ listening to music & analyzing lyrics ⋆ gymnastics & contortion ⋆ art ⋆ fashion ⋆ research ⋆ piano/keyboard ⋆ organization ⋆ chess ⋆ photography ⋆ vlogging ⋆ watching movies & shows ⋆

music !

⋆ gracie abrams ⋆ lorde ⋆ ethel cain ⋆ adrianne lenker ⋆ cavetown ⋆ mitski ⋆ clairo ⋆ hozier ⋆ girl in red ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ boygenius (+ their solo stuff) ⋆ alex g ⋆ paris paloma ⋆ florence + the machine ⋆ wallows ⋆ hannah grae ⋆ olivia rodrigo ⋆ mckenna grace ⋆ tv girl ⋆ billie eilish ⋆ beach bunny ⋆ chloe ament ⋆ lana del rey ⋆ chloe moriondo ⋆

lit !

solitaire + heartstopper (rest of alice oseman's stuff is in my tbr) ⋆ pjo + hoo + toa (still reading) ⋆ soc + ck ⋆ p&p ⋆ hp (fuck jkr + im much more into the marauders era) ⋆ wuthering heights ⋆ jane eyre ⋆ agggtm (still need to finsh the series) ⋆ little women (need to read the 2nd volume) ⋆ the bell jar ⋆

fandoms !

⋆ marauders ⋆ pjo-verse ⋆ osemanverse ⋆ thg ⋆ stranger things ⋆ marvel (kinda?) ⋆ little women ⋆ dead poets society ⋆

movies !

⋆ lady bird (mommy issues who?) ⋆ dead poets society (daddy issues too lmao) ⋆ dating amber ⋆ the edge of 17 ⋆ the perks of being a wallflower ⋆ bottoms ⋆ 3 idiots ⋆ shubh mangal zyada saavdhan ⋆ pride and prejudice (2005) ⋆ lotr + the hobbit trilogies ⋆ thg trilogy + tbosas ⋆

shows !

⋆ heartstopper ⋆ lotr: rings of power ⋆ pjo ⋆ young royals ⋆ dickinson ⋆ sherlock ⋆ shadow & bone ⋆ anne with an e ⋆ normal people ⋆ stranger things ⋆ bridgerton ⋆ twenty-five twenty-one (no joke this is the best kdrama i've ever watched & tbh 1 of the best series i've ever watched like ever) ⋆ skam (norway (s3) + france (s3+6+9) + germany (s3+6+7) versions) (gonna watch the belgium vers too) ⋆

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current read !

✮ crime and punishment ✮ many many fics on ao3 ✮

current watch !

✮ dickinson ✮ lotr: rings of power ✮

april focus !

✮ less planning more doing ✮ consistency > extremities ✮ getting rid of my 'all or nothing' mindset ✮

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#mithi's own ! all og posts

#musings from thy truly ! ltrl anything that isn't poetry or fandom-related

#she communicates oh my! & #com com ! answering asks, tag games, talking with other ppl, etc ; used to use the 1st tag then switched to the 2nd

#on the record :) ! lyric posting

#poetic lil mithi ! og poetry

#artsy mithi ! og art ; haven't posted much yet but trust i will !!

#brainrot incarnate ! anything related to my fics

#moody mithi ! moodboards & web weaving

#filmy mithi ! posts ft. my pics

#tis bout 'n' ! about a friend i've known on & off since 1st grade

#tis bout 'b' ! also technically known her since 1st grade but we only really became friends in like 8th grade after lockdown. kinda in a trio with her & 'n'

#tis bout 'a' ! yapping about the girl i constantly yap with at school<3

#almond <3 ! yapping w @marauding-almond <333

#prasee <3 ! @pxasee / @mikasumi . askjgdhaksdjalhgsd

#wishful necromancy ! marauders posting

#hades kid yapping ! pjo-verse posting

#slightly less beloveds ! fandoms apart from marauders & pjo ; mostly about music artists

#mithistudies ! studyblr posts made uptil 10/oct/2024

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★ yapping about my novel ★ 'they're so me!' ★

★ quillkiller & nobleflower parallels ★ nobleflower hcs ★ dorlily hcs ★ marauders fic recs ★ sapphic marauders fic recs ★

★ defending piper mclean ★

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" it's the first day of my life "

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last updated ! 15/april/2025

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[iamonlypartlymajestic]

Mark from SFTH's Clarissa's DIY Wedding is Aro/Ace and should be in a QPR with Clarissa x Amanda. In this essay, I will—

[Okay, it's not really an essay (wow it became much longer than I thought it would) but this is the first time I've actually written out a headcanon I've had. I wasn't expecting to go into detail, but I posted this idea casually in the SFTH discord, and then some people actually started to vibe with it and add on to it (thanks so much btw <3!!), so now I want to write out all the ideas in case I (or someone else) want to write fic for it lmao.]

Main Idea: Mark from Clarissa's DIY Wedding is Aromantic and/or Asexual but because of his mommy/daddy/religious issues thinks he needs to have a heterosexual romance to be fulfilled because he couldn't see that in his own parents/family life and was pressured to do so. And while Clarissa and Amanda (who are now in a romantic relationship) help him discover his identity, they form a queerplatonic poly relationship of aro/ace!Mark x sapphic!DIYWives

Read ahead for my surprisingly long headcanon for this sad AF fictional man from an improv *comedy* bit whom I've now adopted. (disclaimer: I'm aroace spec but unfortunately I'm not really a good writer and thus, not very good at explaining things)

Headcanon:

Mark could be a closeted aroace person who unfortunately has been in several shortlived "stereotypically het" romances: lost his virginity at a young age, has had one-night stands, and frequent girlfriends

Much like Clarissa x Amanda is a "Good Luck, Babe" dynamic, Mark not knowing he's aro and/or ace can have his own Good Luck, Babe (which honestly he deserves it because angst is delicious). As Clarissa wakes up next to him in the middle of the night with her head in her hands, thinking about Amanda, Mark is lying facing away from his wife wondering why he doesn't feel the satisfaction society has told him he will have after marriage. Unlike Clarissa however, he doesn't know what that missing piece is.

He's obviously never gotten familial love from his dad and his mom died when he was young (and idk if he has any other family) so his yearning for what should be unconditional familial love transferred over to a want for unconditional romantic love because that's what society has placed on a pedestal. But because he has no proper example of what a healthy couple relationship should look like and because he doesn't have that romantic attraction, he's just willing to take what he can get.

AND THE CHURCH!!! OMG THE CHURCH. The church also doesn't help, just promoting het marriage as the end all be all which is unfortunate since the church seems to be the only place he goes to for help in his life and even then, all he's given in answer is unwarranted guilt.

As suggested in the discord, Amanda somehow convinces Clarissa to convince Mark to go to therapy instead of the Church. For Amanda, it's at first a way to separate Mark and Clarissa because they'll realize they aren't actually compatible. After several therapy sessions (including couple's therapy for both of them), Mark and Clarissa realize that their current relationship is unhealthy. Clarissa realizes she's bisexual or pansexual and that those friendly feelings for Amanda weren't strictly friendly at all. Mark realizes that while he does love Clarissa, it's not the romantic love that is typical for a married couple but he's been treating the marriage more of a bandaid over his abandonment trauma and guilt. They get a divorce and Clarissa gets together with Amanda and Mark tries to find himself somehow (spoiler alert, he has no idea how to do so by himself).

Much to Amanda's dismay, Clarissa and Mark still miss each other and want to hang out on friendly terms (Amanda also has to go through her own issues of abandonment and thinking that Clarissa will leave her for a man). However, the more they hang out all together, Amanda starts to actually like Mark as a friend and she knows now that the way Mark and Clarissa love each other is not the same love as Clarissa and hers is, but it is still very strong in itself.

For example: Mark and Clarissa have cuddle sessions because they're used to that already. Amanda gets jealous because her insecurities are convinced that Mark and Clarissa will get back together romantically and leave her as the third wheel again. But as it continues, she realizes that the intimacy is soooo not romantic or sexual in nature and entirely just for comfort

At this point, it may be the start of a QPR but they don't know it yet shhh...

Since hanging out more with Clarissa and Amanda, Mark is very much introduced to the LGBTQIA+ community. Mark learns that he may not be straight after all.

*cue montage music*

• Mark gets invited to gay bars with DIYWives to experiment. He's introduced to Amanda's sapphic friends as Clarissa's ex-husband, but he's cool and part of the "girlies".

• Mark gets hit on by several gay men. He at first declines, but looking at Clarissa and Amanda dancing with each other and having fun in the middle of the club, he wants what they have. Clarissa found out she likes women, maybe he likes men too, and ends up hooking up with some of them. He learns that the way he feels about men is the same way he feels about women which he thinks makes him bisexual but that doesn't seem that correct to him.

• Finally, he meets other aro/ace people and something just *clicks*. While he very much loved (and tbh still does love) Clarissa and feels extreme fondness for her, he never actually felt romantic/sexual attraction towards her.

• Mark comes out to Clarissa and Amanda who obviously support him very much. Now, when they go to bars since Mark still gets hit on by all genders, he begins to wear shirts with several aro/ace puns on them (lmao). It isn't very long after that—maybe Amanda does the research actually—DIYWives end up having a queerplatonic relationship with Mark.

As a friendly joke, Clarissa or Amanda introduces Mark like this:

Clarissa/Amanda: "Yeah that's Mark, my/her ex-husband. She/I hated him, but we're all good and in a relationship now."

Mark's like, "Hi! 👋😎"

...

It is now 1:30am and I can't think of anything else right now lol, sooooo thanks for coming to my TED Talk! *drops microphone and walks off stage*

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

hi!! just read that absolute masterpiece response you had to the anon asking about Xaden and Violet at the end of OS!! I almost want to save that post purely to check back when we finally get the fourth and fifth books to see how much you correctly predict!

also (not to request another essay, so feel free to ignore this if you don't want to) are there any other parallels you've seen with RY's other writing? I've seen parallel relationships (Tairn/Sgaeyl mirroring Violet/Xaden), but any other common themes/tropes that Yarros loves that you think could make it into books 4&5?

like i said, feel free to ignore if you don't want to reply!!

Oh thank you so much!! I've been wanting to make a post like this for agessssss so this is a perfect opportunity!! I love writing essays so don't even worry, LMFAO, anyone can request an essay at any time!!

The only way for me to do this is to spoil a significant amount of her contemporary romance b-plots, so I'm gonna put the theories ABOVE the cut, and then you can click see-more if you want the essay with the parallels. I will say, her b-plots are always kind of insane, and I think the spoilers don't detract from the love stories themselves. So unless you're hellbent on going in blind, I think it's fine? You'll still get the love stories.

Dain's dying for Xaden in book 4! This theory has spoilers from the Flight and Glory series (specifically books 1, 2, and 4, although the only one I'm really spoiling anything you can't gleam from the back cover is book 4)

This isn't a theory, this is just some spaghetti I'm throwing at the wall, but! Lilith wrote the book on Unnbriel that Papa Sorrengail saved for Vi in Deverelli. This one has spoilers from The Things We leave Unfinished.

Theory One: Dain's dying for Xaden in book 4.

Some housekeeping: Rebecca's Flight and Glory series is 5 interconnected standalones (meaning each book deals with a different couple in the same world. it would be like if FW was x and v, but IF was Immrick and OS was dain/sloane). Book one, Full Measures, is about Josh and Ember. Book Two, Eyes Turned Skyward, is about Paisely and Jagger (yes, terrible names, just hold my hand). The book 3 couple is irrelevant for my current purposes, but book 4, Hallowed Ground, comes back around to Josh and Ember as the "main couple". The couples are all part of one big friend group and together all the time. To be SO frank, Josh and Jagger feel like they each got half of Xaden's personality, and Ember and Paisley feel the same way when it comes to Violet. (Josh has the reformed bad boy thing going on, secrets, and the whole caretaker dom thing going on, while Jagger ALSO has the reformed bad boy thing, he's RICH, also has secrets, and the daddy and mommy issues 1-2 combo. They also both just talk like Xaden. I thought Jagger was a lot less Xaden-esque during the first 75% or so, and then there's a pivotal scene where he is so aggressively Xaden-coded I started jumping up and down. Ember's a history major mourning her dead father, while Paisley's a librarian mourning her dead sibling. Paisley also has a heart condition that's very debilitating for her, and results in her loved ones being seriously overbearing.)

Paisley and Jagger's story is the most important to my purposes here, so have a quick summary of the opening of Eyes Turned Skyward: The novel opens with Paisley in a relationship with Will. Will was Paisley's dead sister's best friend, and after her sister's death, Will and Paisley came together in their grief. Paisley's heart condition means that she has to seriously limit physical exertion, she wears an apple watch at all times to track her heart rate, and she can't live life like a "normal" person. A big part of this is that Will won't have sex with her because he's worried about her having a heart attack. No, I am not joking. @maethologies was the first recipient of this summary many moons ago, and she calls it the "my doctor said no sex" book. The pivotal thing here is that Paisley's doctor didn't ACTUALLY say no sex. Will's just being overprotective.

Does this remind anyone of anyone we know? Because Will's character reminds ME of one Dain Aetos!

Further Dain-isms: Jagger, Josh, and co. all hate Will because he went to West Point and is super cocky about it. Will is super devoted to the codex rules and regulations of flight school to the point he turns on his classmates (which you're not supposed to do! snitches get stitches!) for a traditional prank (also, fun fact, the commanding general of their flight school? Paisley's dad!). Throughout book 2, Will gets his karma for being overprotective with Paisley, and he slowly becomes less of a stick in the mud. He befriends Josh, Jagger, and co, and he's a reluctant member of the gang in book 3. Again, do y'all see what I see???

Now, a summary of the grander plot of Hallowed Ground: Book 3 (Beyond What Is Given) ends with Josh, Jagger, Will, and their fourth friend Grayson, graduating flight school and getting their duty stations. Josh, Jagger, and Will all stay together, and Josh and Jagger get deployed first. Will stays home and takes care of Paisley and Ember. At the end of Beyond What Is Given, Paisley and Jagger getting engaged and married just before Jagger gets deployed. Six weeks later, Will gets deployed and follows Jagger and Josh into Afghanistan. During his opening flight (like, LITERALLY his first day) Josh and Will are in one helicopter while Jagger's actively in combat. They realize Jagger's in danger, so they go to him and join the fight. They all get shot down by the Taliban, and Will ends up jumping in front of Jagger and saying that his wife needs him. Will dies FOR Jagger and asks him to keep taking care of Paisley.

(The one thing I'm NOT mentioning there is that when Will does sacrifice himself for Jagger, Paisley's pregnant. I am NOT manifesting that for Violet.) (They actually name their kid after Will, which is kind of insane with the Dain implications. Dain Riorson-Sorrengail.)

Ever since I finished Hallowed Ground (so, July!) I've been convinced the final culmination of Dain's redemption arc was going to be dying for Xaden on Violet's behalf. I actually totally thought it was going to be in book 3 and not book 4, because it seemed like Rebecca thought Dain was redeemed even though the majority of fans disagreed. I've been a bit tongue-in-cheek about how much fan-interaction happened in Onyx Storm, but I definitely think the changes to Dain and Cat's characters especially were a result of Rebecca seeing how they were received by the readers and making corrections to their portrayal so that we see what she sees. Still, the parallels with Will are abundant. In his case, we meet him in book 2, but we immediately do not like him. He gets redeemed toward the end of book 2 and into book 3. By the time book 4 comes around, you're a fan! He's on the cusp of a new relationship with Paisley's best friend Morgan, and then....dead. Again....are we seeing the parallels here?

So, yeah! That's my take. Again, I actually thought this was happening in book 3, but I see why it didn't. I have NEVER enjoyed Dain as much as I did in Onyx Storm. Like, I feel bad about characterizing him how I usually do now. His death in OS would not have been impactful, whereas in book 4....

If you don't quite believe me about plot recycling from RY, the main romance plot line of Josh and Ember's first book Full Measures: falling in love -> she Knows he's keeping secrets (in this case, about his "occupation" as well as his past with her parent, but the secrets plotline is genuinely ALMOST every single book she's ever written, I am not joking, I CAN keep going) but she doesn't know enough to do anything about it except keep getting conned -> she learns enough! third act break up -> Iron Flame esque argument about secrets/asking questions/etc. -> make up!

And this isn't a critique from me: I've read sixteen of her books for a reason. There's something comforting in knowing exactly what you're going to get; however, I know exactly what I'm going to get.

THAT is the end of my more fleshed out theory. Now, Lilith time!

Theory 2: Lilith wrote Papa Sorrengail's book about Unnbriel:

I've been slowly re-reading (and highlighting and tabbing) Onyx Storm over the last few days, and yesterday, I read this line:

"My father's observations on the combative isle are sharp, almost clinical, but lack his usual insight. There's a marked difference between his book, written when he was 23 and straight out of the scribe quadrant, and the manuscript he left for me in his office." (Onyx Storm, chapter 28)

The epigraph for the chapter in question:

"There are times I look at Parapet, at the very act of Threshing, and marvel that dragons have not been to Unnbriel.... -Unnbriel: Isle of Dunne by Second Lieutenant Asher Daxton"

I said this in my other essay response, but Rebecca has two types of what I like to call "gotcha!" foreshadowing. Usually, she'll have a throwaway line somewhere that's REALLY easy to brush over, but it will either literally spell out a situation for later in the story, OR it exists to be proved false. I CAN grab examples, but this essay is already ridiculously long, so maybe another time if anyone doesn't believe me. In any case, I think this is the second type of foreshadowing. Rebecca goes out of her way to REPEATEDLY say dragons have not been to the isles, which really makes me think dragons have been to the isles.

Now, to compare and contrast with Rebecca's The Things We Leave Unfinished. I will say, this spoiler actually would impact your reading experience in that it's the big final reveal of the novel. However, a lot of you probably aren't going to read it anyway, so! I also actually think a LOT of Rebecca's works are better the second time around, and in this way the spoiler would make it more fun, as you better understand what's going on. So, you can take my word for it and stop here, OR you can keep reading.

A summary of the plot of The Things We Leave Unfinished:

The FMC of this novel's grandmother dies, leaving one unfinished novel she'd like finished after her death. This novel is the true love story of her grandmother's life. Through a deal with her agent, the MMC gets contacted to finish the novel for the FMCs grandmother. Half the book is the modern timeline of the FMC and MMC trying to finish the novel, and the other half is the historical timeline following the novel in question (book within a book!). As the novel progresses, you find out that the MMC keeps noting differences across Scarlet (the grandma's) body of work in terms of tone (sharpness!) and general story construction (insight!). (When I re-read that line about Vi's dad, I felt like someone walked over my grave.) Eventually, you learn that Scarlet actually died 70-odd years before the story begins, and that her sister is who the FMC thought was her grandma. Her grandma's sister is the one who finished her grandma's novel, then went on to write an entire body of work in her sister's name.

Now! Why would Lilith's work be in papa sorrengail's name? I don't actually know! Maybe since Dunne is an isle of warriors, he knew he needed His warrior to handle it for him. They're clearly obsessed with each other on a Riorgail level, and Xaden is immediately willing to fight on Vi's behalf on Unnbriel. I've said this offhandedly before, but the parallels between Lilith and Xaden are actually insane when you think about them. I also think this expands farther into the Dunne/Violet/Lilith/Theophanie nonsense I do NOT know enough to unpack right now. Anyway, I think that's it! I can try and pull the actual line from The Things We Leave Unfinished if anyone cares, because I'm pretty sure the phrasing is similar when the MMC figures out true authorship.

I said this above, but if anyone else has any other questions, feel free to ask!! I need to use my PhD in Yarrossian studies for something. I actually really wanted to compose a full list of my thoughts on her contemporaries/similarities/what I'd rec to the fourth wing girlies of the world, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. So if you're interested in that, let me know!

[persephozee]

basic outline of my AOT Marley-Paradis Swap AU

if you read this whole post i actually love you lets get married NOW

but i've seen this type of AU get done before but i do it in a more unorthodox way

will i ever actually write for this? who knows

Who's in Paradis?

ok so the main difference in my au from other is that the veterans and the ackermann family all have to stay in paradis (veterans is just cuz im lazy, ackermanns is because how would they be important at all in Marley if they cant turn into titans)

Reiner - Reiner pretty much plays the role of Eren just with a difference mindset. also Reiner still has mommy issues (Karina survives the fall unfortunately )!!

Bertholdt - pretty much plays the role of Armin however Reiner is the one who got bullied when they were kids. also Bert's dad dies in the fall unfortunately traumatizing him

Annie - Annie still has daddy issues her father heavily pushes her into the Corps after the fall

Porco - Porco lwk bullied Reiner when they were little BUT he'll tag along w the gang in joining the Corps after the fall because he wants to be just like his big brother

Marcel - Marcel and Pieck and Zeke were all in the same training corps together about 2 years before the fall !! (Marcel and Pieck are 5 years older than RBA + Porco while Zeke is 7 years older)

Pieck - Pieck lwk gonna play a bigger role than Marcel hesgonnadie but she is pretty much everyones big sister and also really badass as a survey corp. also her best friend (Zeke) mysteriously disappeared in 845 (like right before the fall)

Zeke - Zeke mysteriously disappeared in 845 i wonder what could be going on there. his grandparents were pissed at him for joining the Survey Corps despite being told to join the Military Police (he could have easily joined too he was 3rd in his class)

Mikasa - yes Mikasa is still here, and she unfortunately did get sold into trafficking at age 9. she escaped though she's a badass and now she's in the corps (dw Eremikas Eren still saves her just in a different way)

Erwin, Hange, Levi and all the other veterans and higher ups in the Paradis military are in Paradis

Who's in Marley?

Eren - Eren has the Attack Titan because Marley never loses possession of it in this AU!! Also he gets sent to Paradis which is kinda funny cuz his dad by some miracle came from there and told him right before he got sent!! Eren kinda knew that he just assumed Grisha was fucking stupid (this is the one part of my story thats really farfetched BUT the ackermann family told Dina that the outside world is advanced. Dina died on the way there if you cant tell)

Armin - Armin as expected has the Colossal. Him and Eren are inseparable but that will change FAST when they get to the island

Jean - Jean is the armored titan

Marco - Marco is the jaw titan but not for long Ymir eats him yes she's still here

Historia - Historia is the female titan and DOES NOT get sent to Paradis until 850 (and thats where she gets into a forbidden love situation w Ymir). also she has special scream/titan creation powers just like Zeke !!

Connie - Connie is the cart titan

Floch - Floch is the beast titan (he's a fox if you're wondering)

Sasha - Sasha will SUPPOSEDLY inherit the jaw titan

once again if you read this entire post i love you. and if this post gets engagement PLEASE let me know if you wanna hear more.