#and also a lot of greater lore things went over my head because i went in knowing nothing about the honkai universe

[mymarifae]

honkai star rail

[snailfen]

not that anon but who's your favorite sluggy

so i never played the original MSC, but originally my favorite was the saint. i loved the idea of being able to just Leave situations and have a grappling tongue at all times as a newbie. i really struggled with platforming and survival back then, so i really liked them. fuck losing all karma upon dying, i could just Leave!

out of the vanilla scugs, monk was also my favorite back then. i REALLY hated the lore removal, but my gaming skills were already just Piss Poor in general so rain world was almost nigh impossible at first. also i liked being friends with lizards and scavs and i couldnt bring myself to attack scavs back then.

so, between then and now, my favorites have changed. between the MSC slugcats...

this is one of those few times i can answer from Every Possible Aspect of the candidate, like gameplay, campaign plot, etc. Which is really cool! when MSC dropped, Riv was the one  I played first using the "unlock all campaigns" cheat. I REALLY wanted to play saint first, but knowing from the start that the slugcats were ranked by difficulty and saint was locked behind 2 slugcats as opposed to 1, I curbed that urge and went for Riv since they were my second favorite.

now, their super exaggerated movement was hard to get a handle on, i will admit- but i hadn't played this game in a long time so i was just rusty on top of that. but i can confidently say im used to them! i love using their abilities to see just what i can do. there was a time i was playing with a randomizer and it was really fun having to adapt to each new situation like an opportunist. i wish i recorded it! but riv really helped me get over my hesitance when i was faced with predators, which was a bad habit I'd had for a long time.

campaign gameplay tested my lay of the land as well; especially by starting out in drainage system. i practically never set foot in drainage system back in the day, so i didnt know where in the world to head. I luckily detected the garbage wastes gate like, right away. trying to navigate the parts of the game more beaten off the main path of vanilla was difficult but fun! having only so much time to get from place to place was a fun challenge. then, after getting the rarefraction cell, trying to see how far i could go in 1 cycle was even greater.

now the plot is really where riv got me for sure.

looks to the moon has been a favorite character of mine for years. i never really stopped thinking about what happened between her and pebbles; every few months or so i would think about it. just how... hopeless things were for moon. It really made me sad. i think i speak for a lot of people when i say i wished that i could help her in some way. but the only thing i could do is bring her neurons, really. i never really made sense of pebbles side of the deal, like i knew what was going on with him and i felt bad, but it never really hit me how horrible things were for him. it all just felt so... tragic, yknow? that things ended up the way they did for the two of them.

exploring their superstructures was an experience. i originally planned to go to pebbles through shaded citadel after visiting moon on my first playthrough, but plans changed when i considered dealing with memory crypts, and the leg, AND underhang with my cycle limit (i had already sort of guessed that riv was after monks point in the timeline, but i didn't know that those areas got worse for riv so i was just thinking in terms of vanilla) so i went through the wall.

I kinda wish I saw at least memory crypts, but thats ok because the low gravity in the normally zero-gravity access shaft, plus the proto dll at the end, told me everything I needed to know before facing Pebbles chamber. Floating through his decayed structures... it hurt. I remember my first encounter with him in vanilla felt just a word away from being downright incomprehensible. he really came off as some god I couldn't percieve. but now, seeing the walls corroded by nothing but Rot, only small parts I actually recognized just barely peeking out amongst the decay, I just couldn't look. I felt like... like my arteries were clogged just by seeing his condition. Hearing him listen to Halcyon Memories, a favorite (previously) unused track of mine created a special kind of somber that I will Never re-experience.

Then, Moon's structure. This one is special. I got suuuper lost in here, but im glad I did. Up until a certain point, I had been taking the scenery in with a kind of reverence you would have while walking around a graveyard. I wandered for a few cycles, and at some point, Random Fate started playing. I didn't recognize the bass line yet, but when I had stumbled into what I immediately recognized as Moon's Memory Conflux, the Sundown melody kicked in.

Recognizing both things at once, I got all... like, choked up. Like... I'm finally helping Moon!  But... what about Pebbles? Why can't I help him? ...And like, I knew why; he brought this fate upon them both. But that didn't make it hurt any less. He asked me to do the only thing he wanted: to give all he had to redeem what he did. So in the end, this was all I could do to help him; in the same way that this was all Pebbles could do to make up for what he did to Moon.

Don't get me started on the ending. Seeing Moon restored to even a fraction of what once was had me so happy! It was exhilarating to say the least. But I was tearing up on the edge of my seat when she reached out to Pebbles. Watching the messages roll in slowly, seeing what she had to say, all the while praying that Pebbles could hear her.

Seeing Moon call herself Pebbles big sister is what broke the dam. From what I saw back in the day, people usually skirted that title of hers when it came to Pebbles, or never really acknowledged it. Even I did, for some time. But it never made sense to do that! Moon and Pebbles would never feel such anger, betrayal, or regret over everything that had happened if they weren't very close. I found it very important that that's who Moon was to him. Not just a great friend, but a big sister. I'm so glad the MSCteam felt that was important as well.

Speaking of which, seeing the names of community members and fans that I recognized in the credits got me sobbing again when I thought I was done. This expansion was a loveletter to the game from the fans, brought in officially by the actual developers. The Rivulet campaign especially enforced that feeling of love for the game- by having compassion for the tragedy two iterators and finally helping them reconcile.

I finally felt satisfied, not only because I was able to help Moon- but because I had also realized the tragic life that Pebbles had led. Those two things had never really left my mind.

anyways WOOOOO that was a lot of rambling. hope you enjoyed......

[evelyns-writing-blog]

Catch the Wind: Reincarnated into an Idealised Shell - Chapter II: Nix

[Previous chapter]

Despite leaving me by my lonesome yesterday, today it appeared that Shiro didn't want to leave my side at all. After we settled in in our new inn, he dragged me all over the city to different clothing shops to find something that fit me. It took all morning. Personally, I would have worn anything, but Shiro was really particular about it.

  "You've gotta dress up in a way that expresses your personality, Marisa!" He said.

  But of course, that made sense completely. If we're playing dress up with my personality in mind, then we should ditch these clothing stores and start finding a trash bag that suits me!

  In the end, he settled on an outfit comprised of light armour and dull colours, with the exception of a cape that was dark red. When I asked him why he picked out this sort of outfit for me, he just said, "because it looks cool."

  It's not as if it wasn't a practical getup, but Shiro really should get his priorities straight. But given that he paid for all of it, I couldn't exactly complain. Especially when it was, admittedly, very cool looking.

  Along our shopping trip, I learned that this city was called Nix. It was surrounded by water and had this massive cathedral looking building in the middle. I couldn't see it from the inn we stayed at before. But it really was beautiful, and massive. Extremely so. It even had this huge stained glass window that depicted a really pretty woman with a crown on her head. Didn't take a lot to figure that it was a depiction of a queen.

  According to Shiro, this was the capital of Ferrum, a country that was in a near-constant winter, and that giant building in the centre of this city was where the queen and her family lived.

  Most of this country was uninhabitable, but due to some recent wars, it managed to innovate and chip away at that uninhabited land, building underground cities and weather barriers. Apparently the latter of those, whatever a weather barrier actually entailed, weren't needed here in Nix, as the weather in this region wasn't deemed dangerous, but it couldn't have hurt to implement one anyway, right? That wind was seriously not good last night.

  War was brought up a lot in Shiro's explanation of this country, and most of it went over my head, but it wasn't exactly painting a pretty picture of the place. But since it was peacetime, it looked like I didn't need to worry about being dragged into some war. I was happy about that, at least.

The history of this place seemed very deep with lore, but I'd rather talk about Shiro himself.

  The more I stuck around him, the stranger he got. The reason it took us until mid day to finish buying me clothes wasn't because he actually had that much trouble finding something for me, and more so the fact that he kept getting sidetracked.

  Any time he saw someone in even a mild amount of trouble, he would go over and try to resolve it. I guess that proves he didn't save me because I was special or anything. He'd save anyone. It was admirable, but if he stopped for every little thing, he'd end up wasting his youth. I didn't stop him. He was doing a good thing, after all, but I'd be lying if I said that all these diversions weren't ticking me off.

  I felt like if I told him no, he'd hit me back with a, "so I shouldn't have helped you out either," and that was the last thing I wanted to hear.

  Seeing Shiro with a ponytail during the day was much better than in the dark of that forest. A sight for sore eyes. How I wish I could openly dote on him. I wanted to spoil him rotten seeing him like this. (Shiro Ponytail Edition, as I call it.) But alas, I had no money, in fact I was relying on him. The very opposite of spoiling him. Is there any greater irony than that?

  Needless to say, Shiro was also pretty bossy, making sure everything went as he wanted it to. I objected to getting a cape with my new clothes, but he just pouted and looked to be on the verge of tears. So I caved and accepted it.

  But that's okay! I'm a sucker for his cuteness so I'll put up with anything!

  ...

  Ahem.

  All of that excitement aside, I really did find Shiro to be a great guy. With someone like him, I think I can easily slip into society in this world without much of a struggle.

  Oh, and one more thing. When that innkeeper said Shiro was famous, she meant it. We were getting all sorts of looks. Or rather, he was, and I was completely ignored. On the other hand, he didn't seem too happy about it. He kept his head down and always seemed to rush through busier areas.

  He seemed so upset, in fact, that I didn't feel like it was my place to really ask him about it.

  At any rate, we made it to a restaurant near the front gates of the town, and it had an engraving on the door that said "Mercenary Guild Associated Business," with a little check mark underneath. I had noticed this same engraving when I tried searching for Shiro in that tavern.

  It looked as though this "mercenary guild" had locations tons of locations. I suppose it was only natural for a big city like this, but this restaurant was huge. And considering it was so close to the entrance, it might have even been the main guild building. At least for this city.

  The plan for today was to get me into this guild so I could stay by Shiro's side. This wasn't my idea, but his.

  "I've joined other people's parties before, but I've never had a partner of my own," he said, "and who else but you?" That cheery smile gave me little confidence, surprisingly. "Oh, don't worry, We'll take easy jobs. You'll be completely safe from danger! You have my word!"

  That's what he said, but it was still annoying scary experience. Enough to make me want to hid back at the inn. The only reason I didn't was because I felt grateful towards him.

  The mercenary guild had four ranks. From lowest to highest it goes:

  1. Beginner

  2. Average

  3. Highly skilled

  4. Expert

  I didn't know what any of that meant, but I figured I'd learn as I went. Though it didn't take a genius to understand that a being an expert meant you're the best of the best.

  Shiro guided me through the process, but I probably could have figured it out myself.

  Something of note that isn't too important, but moreso just really strange, before I signed up, the receptionist at the front desk of the guild half of the restaurant had taken a blood sample from me and injected it into a small plastic card.

  "This is how we make verification, sir," the receptionist lady said. "These cards are connected to a magic network, but it requires a small, one time activation, using your blood links the card to you. And because of that magic network, if you were to ever lose this card, you could simply buy a new one and give it your blood. This will of course erase the other card's data, so to speak. So no one who finds it one day could impersonate you."

  What a complicated system! Explain it in English!!! I wanted to say that, but I just nodded.

  "Oh, that's odd," she said. "It appears you're already signed up to the..." she paused, looking confused. I glance at Shiro but he didn't seem to have a clue either.

  "W-What's wrong?" I asked, timidly.

  "Your details aren't showing up. It's corrupted," she explained, showing me the card. The letters were all warped, unreadable. The card even had my face on it, well, at least I assumed so if this really was my card, because this picture was also corrupted. The top half of it was missing.

  I sighed. "That can't be right though. I've never been here before."

  "It's really not an issue, sir, we can easily erase this data and sign you up from scratch."

  It went something like that. The fact that it happened was inconsequential though, since, as the receptionist said, I can just sign up again, but something bugged me about that, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

  Rather than getting frustrated by trying to rack my brain around it, I just pushed it to the back of my mind.

  The receptionist handed me a form that I needed to fill out, and told me I should fill it in by the end of the day. So me and Shiro took this opportunity to order something for lunch and then sit down at an unoccupied table.

  I filled out the information, but stopped when I reached putting my name on it. I thought about it for a moment, and then went to Shiro for some advice. "Is it alright if I skip out on putting my name on this for the time being?"

  Shiro tilted his head. "Why'd you wanna do that?"

  "Well it's... I was thinking of changing my name," I explained, keeping my eyes down. "Marisa doesn't suit me at all. It makes me sad that I have a name like that..."

  I didn't look up even for a moment. I faced this situation before. It scared me. Shiro would probably deny it too. Everyone in my life did. It's something I'm used to. "Well, you've gotta put something in there, but if you can't think of a name right now, it's fine, because you can change it as many times as you want," he said, casually.

  I looked up at him, and was greeted with that same warm smile that he gave every time I looked at him. "As many times as I want?" I repeated his words in a meek whisper.

  He chuckled. "Well, maybe not too many times. The receptionist lady might get angry at you for bothering her about it too often. But yes. There's no limit on how many times you can change your name."

  I sighed in relief and wrote down my name. It confused me as to how, but I could write in this world's language as if I'd been writing in it my whole life. It sure was convenient.

  "What sort of name do you want anyway?" Shiro asked, going over my form to make sure I didn't make any mistakes.

  "Well, there's plenty of options, but I haven't really decided on one yet. But at the very least I want a normal name. One that fits," I explained, twiddling my thumbs. A normal name over in this world might be a strange one, though. So I'd have to think even harder for a new name.

"Let me know what it is as soon as you figure one out, okay?" Shiro said, folding the form and tucking it into his pocket. "If your current name is making you uncomfortable, I'll try to avoid saying it unless it's necessary."

It's really not that big of a deal at this point, since I'm used to it, but I really wouldn't mind if he decided to call me Marisa until I come up with something else. There is such a thing as being too nice. Isn't it a both to avoid calling me by a name?

Being nice... Especially to me. The amount of niceness that I deserve is minimal.

...

The food arrived, finally. Come to think of it, this was my first meal since I got here. Since this was a different world, I was expecting the food to be vastly different from what I normally ate, but on our plates was essentially just the breakfast of someone who wasn't lazy and had the funds to cook for themselves (even though this was for lunch.)

  I took my time eating it, but shiro wasted not even a second. Surprisingly, he didn't make a mess. To be honest, I still wasn't that hungry, most likely because I slept for so long.

"Hahaha! That was tasty! Way better than the food at that Inn!" Shiro exclaimed putting his plate aside.

  I suppose now was a better time than any to ask this. "What were you doing in that forest before you found me?"

  Shiro shrugged. "Multiple things. Mostly just collecting wood though. It's only gonna get colder from now on, so wood is more in demand."

  "Makes sense." It sure was lucky that he ran into me. Maybe it was fate. Being realistic, it was just a coincidence. "Hey, do you think you could teach me magic?"

  Shiro's ears twitched as soon as I said that and he got up and giddily shouted his response. "Really?! What type?! I'm at least at an above average level for all types of spells, you name it! I'll teach you!"

Everyone glared at us, and for some reason, I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore. "Ah... uh, fire magic, maybe..." I mumbled, trying to keep a smile on my face.

Shiro excited gasped and grabbed my hands, causing me to drop my knife and fork. "Thank you!" He exclaimed. Guess I found out about his favourite topic. "I've been wanting to teach someone how to use magic for months, but most people around here already know!"

Now I just felt even more out of place. Not knowing magic seemed like a rarity based on that. But that exactly why I wanted to change that. Magic seemed like it would be at least interesting to learn. I don't imagine my life in this word will be very different from the last one, but it should serve as a distraction at least. If I got really good at it, I'd have bragging rights too if I ever felt as though I was lacking in vanity.

Shiro held his hand out, and soon after, a ball of flame quickly grew out of thin air above his hand. "All you really need to do is imagine the spell you want to cast, and it should appear," he explained, being less reckless now that he was holding something that could very well burn this place down. "Though for a beginner you'd probably need a magic staff to stabilise your magical energy. As someone who's basically a pro, I don't need one. How about I buy you one and teach you the basics of magic when we get back from your trial job?"

Trial job? The receptionist didn't mention anything about that. But I could guess that it was essentially a test of my abilities to decide what rank I should start out at.

"I mean, if it's not a bother, then sure," I said. "But what sort of trial is my trial job?"

"Oh, that? I believe it's based on what you do with the form you fill out," Shiro explained, turning the ball of flame in his hand into a ring. Show off. "For me, it was a fake escort mission, but if I had to guess, yours will probably be the typical cave raid."

What I wrote in my form was that I was good at a memorising anywhere I went, like a human map. Which actually was true, once I've been somewhere once, I could get there without any help the second time. My one achievement in life. I guess I could understand why that would correlate to going into a cave to (probably) look for treasure. It would be hard to get lost if I had a good memory for these things.

"I'll be with you in case things get too rough, so don't be intimidated. You won't actually be in any real danger. These trials really are just test runs." Shiro made the flame disappear and giggled.

That laugh... that laugh, that laugh, that laugh... it's too cute. I gotta kiss him. I gotta grope him! One day! That laugh is just too cute! Drives me crazy! Does that make me so bad? I wonder what his reaction would be if just went in for the kill right now.

...

Forgive me. I'm terrible, aren't I? A bullet to the brain would fix this. I contemplated attacking one of the stronger looking guys and getting them to kill me. Just fucking bash my skull in.

"LARPing, then?" I said, accidentally. I doubted that was a term here. Shiro, as expected, didn't understand. "Uh, it's not important, forget I said that." Facepalming from my own failure, I took in a few deep breaths to try and counteract the psychological pain.

"I'm starting to worry about your head, y'know..." Shiro said with a sigh. "But I kinda like the way you act. I've never met anyone else like you before. It's a nice change of pace."

I think that was a compliment. But he's right, I'm not right in the head at all. I'm a complete mess! "If anyone's a nice change of pace, it's you!" I replied.

At any rate, I finished my meal. Compare to the instant ramen I usually eat, this was much better. I felt good eating food for once in my life. With a fulfilling meal and a fulfilling conversation. All that was left was to give the form back to the receptionist lady.

I was nervous that I'd be denied by the Mercenary Guild, but that ended up not happening, they accepted me and told me that my trial would take place tomorrow.

Shiro treated me to drinks after. Dragging me along to another location. I felt great full to have someone like Shiro looking out for me, but this amount of dedication to "treating" me was getting out of hand. If I wasn't careful, he'd end up planning my whole life out. I'm not that helpless, now.

It was a little shocking to see Shiro downing a pint of beer like it was nothing. What a lawless world, kids shouldn't be allowed to drink that stuff. But even as an adult I just ordered a glass of water. Getting drunk at 2 in the afternoon wasn't for me.

  I really had to question whether or not Shiro was actually as young as he said, or maybe it's just that I'm so childish. It's the latter, definitely. Shiro proceeded to down two more pints and I just sat there, stunned. What's more, he wasn't drunk. Not even a little tipsy. What sort of power was that?!

  "Ahh, that hits the spot!" he said happily. "I'm kinda disappointed you didn't pick out a drink, are you allergic or something?"

  I shrugged. "Im absolutely terrible when I'm drunk, so I only drink when I'm alone so I don't piss anyone off." That was just an excuse. I was an alcoholic in my previous life, I'd drink until I stopped thinking. But for whatever reason, I didn't feel like drinking at all. Maybe because this is a new body. It doesn't have a taste for alcohol yet.

  "That's a shame, really." Shiro frowned. "Why didn't you tell me? We could've gone somewhere else."

  "I didn't want you to feel weighed down by me," I said, laughing it off.

  "Oh, that's nonsense, there's plenty to do, it's not like this was somewhere I just had to go to. You're fine." Shiro stood up and put some money on the table before reaching his hand out to me. "Why don't we go somewhere more interesting!"

Pulled in by his niceness, I put my hand in his and got up myself. "If you're sure," I replied, timidly smiling back at him.

"Well then! Let's head off!" Shiro, unchanging in his gleeful attitude, pulled me along out of the bar.

As it turned out, we never ended up going wherever it was that Shiro wanted to take me. A boy around 15 years old by the name of André came rushing up to us, yelling Shiro's name. He wanted Shiro's help with something, so we were set on another side quest.

  He kept going on and on about a man named Donovan. What were his exact words again?

  "It's terrible! He's flirting with the princess again, I think he's really going to do something bad to her this time!"

  Shiro had awkwardly laughed in response. "You say that every other day, André. I have my suspicions about that man myself, but I guarantee you he's not some sort of playboy."

  André was agitated the whole time. Anxiety ridden. "But—!"

  Shiro patted him on the back. "But sneaking into the castle's gardens is always a good thing, so I'll check on them for you anyway."

  It's better than what I had planned anyway, he added.

  André thanked Shiro on his hands and knees before we departed. That's all was said. Shiro was easily swayed.

  "What do you mean by 'sneaking into the castle garden'?" I asked.

  "It's exactly what you think it means," he relied, simply. "You don't have to come in with me, by the way. Not that I've ever been caught doing this, but you seem on edge about it."

  As if. "No, I'm fine with it, I was more worried about you than myself," I replied, scratching the back of my head. Back when I was a teenager, I'd break into school every night with my friends and mess around in the computer room, so I'm not a stranger to this sort of thing.

  However, a castle is a little different from a school. But if Shiro's done it before, that definitely helps.

  Shiro pouted. "Hey, don't think so little of me just because of my age."

  "There's not a thing about you that I think little of," I retorted with a sigh. "Anyway, who is this Donovan guy? Why's that kid got it out for him?"

  "Oh, it's just pure jealousy," he stated, a-matter-of-factly. "Princess Sherri's got a crush on Donovan, a high ranking knight that's in charge of the magic/science development team they've got in the castle."

  "And what about Donovan? Does he reciprocate those feelings?"

  "As far as I can tell, he doesn't. From what I've gathered, they always meet around this time for the princess's magic lessons. I've met Donovan, and he definitely has an aura about him that scared me at first, but he definitely doesn't have any ulterior motives or anything. The only thing suspicious about him is the fact that he so quickly rose through the ranks despite being a commoner. He showed up a year ago."

  If he's not acting strange with the princess, it had me wondering why Shiro is going out of his way to check up on this. That much was enough to make me curious about his own goals here.

  We stopped in some alley and Shiro looked around for something. "It's less so Donovan I'm spying on here, but Sherri," he said, picking up a ladder from a hole in the back of one of the nearby houses, and placing it against the castle walls. "She's nice enough, there's nothing wrong with her, some would even say she's acting like a normal teen. It's just that... something bugs me about her."

  "Why's that?" I asked. "Don't tell me you caught feelings for this princess and haven't realised it yet."

  Shiro shrugged. "It's not her looks either. What bugs me is the fact she's a royal. Or rather, her lacking a royal attitude. She's entirely selfish, but she wasn't always this way."

  Supposedly, whenever she met her people, the citizens of Nix, of Ferrum as a whole, she was soft spoken, polite, and selfless, speaking as the next in line to the throne, she sought to make the lives of citizens easier, but recently, she's not bothered with those sorts of meetings, and has even started gaining a foul mouth.

  I had to interrupt Shiro's explanation. This was actually a fairly easy thing to explain. "Sounds to me like she's going through a rough patch in her life," I told him. "Teenagers get like that. How old did you say she was now?"

  Shiro started climbing the ladder, and I followed. "She's 16. And it's definitely not just some rebellious phase, these changes only started happening four months ago. It wasn't even gradual. It's like she changed overnight."

  ... Now that was something to be concerned about. "What do you think caused it? You don't think this Donovan guy has something to do with it?"

  "It's too early to tell, I can't get close to either of them, so there's really no way to get solid proof. And staking them out like this hasn't yielded any results."

  "Why not just get André to ask her. He seems to be close to her if he came just now asking you to save her."

  Shiro stopped. "I..." he said, struggling with his words. "Did not think of that..." he hit his head lightly against one of the steps of the ladder.

  Still just a kid, aren't you? "Dont beat yourself up about it. I forget obvious stuff like that all the time."

  Regardless, we continued up the ladder and we reached a ledge. Climbing onto that, we crawled across it until we reached a gap in the wall, sidled through, and came out into a larger gap, and past that, a bush. Shiro put a finger to his lips and sat down by the bush. I followed suit.

  I couldn't see the other side of the bush that well, but there was still some visibility. This gap behind the bush was covered by a bridge much higher up in the castle, making it dark enough that visibility from the other side would have been even harder. No one would have been able to see us even if they stood right next to it.

  "Can you see them well enough?" Shiro asked in a whisper.

  "It's a little difficult, but I can," I whispered back. For some reason I was feeling even more nervous. If we got caught, I'd probably die.

  I got a good look of what these two people looked like.

  Sherri, the princess, dressed nothing like an actual princess. While very fashionable looking, she looked more like the medieval variant of a punk rock girl. In other words, she was tomboyish, wearing a shirt and trousers instead of a dress, the trousers were actually ripped too, ironically enough. Even a lip ring. Her blonde hair was cut short and messy too. I could definitely understand it now, why Shiro is worried. I'm all for people dressing how they like, but a complete disregard for your surroundings like that is just incredibly outrageous. I could kinda respect it, if it wasn't a princess.

  As for the man, Donovan, he was dressed far simpler, a black cloak around him, I couldn't see much of his body because of it. As for his face, though, he was dark skinned, had red eyes and spiky white hair. He was young and beautiful looking, but for some reason, just one look at him caused my heart to tremble in fear. I didn't want to be here at all now that I was really thinking about it. But there was nothing out of the ordinary about him. I wondered why I was so scared.

  We listened in.

  "Come on, tell meeee~..." Sherri said, hugging Donovan's arm. "What was it like?"

Donovan chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. "It really wasn't that big of a deal, your highness," he replied. Something about his smooth and deep voice annoyed me. "It's certainly not something someone of your status should have to deal with."

"Pretty please~~~~~!"

"Your mother would have my head on a pike if I told you about it any more than I already have."

Just what are they talking about?

"They're already getting on my case about your looks. That's not even my fault. I wish you weren't so reckless, if I may be so bold, your highness."

"Huhhh?! Fuck that stupid bitch! I won't tell a soul that you told me! Tell me what it's like!" Sherri suddenly got really aggressive and pulled on Donovan's arm.

"A-Alright, alright, hahah," he replied, patting her on the back. "But only if you behave, okay? Be good for the next week."

"Ugh! So annoying! Fine, but take me out to those tasty restaurants later! I wanna try that new item on the menu at the main Mercenary Guild location!" I felt like if I had to listen to this girl's whining any longer, I'd die on the spot.

Donovan sighed. "If you insist, your highness. But please don't wander off this time. Honestly, you drive a hard bargain, princess. If you push this any further, the queen might cut my funding."

"And I'll simply raise it back up once the bitch is dead!"

"W-well..." Donovan seemed to not know how to reply to that. What a pushover.

Shiro whispered to me. "You see what I mean? This isn't right at all."

"I kinda feel bad for that guy," I replied. "I guess André was just over-exaggerating."

"As I said, he sees Donovan as a rival in love, but Donovan is anything but a lover, he told me this himself, the only thing he cares about is his work." Shiro yawned silently. "Looks like they're about to leave. But I can stake them out later if they're going to that restaurant."

I forgot to ask him, but... "Why are you so adamant on eavesdropping on them if you can't find anything of interest from it?" It really didn't make much sense to me.

"... Because she's not really herself right now..."

"But isn't this out of your hands? I don't think you can do something about this without talking to her, you didn't even think to get someone else to do it for you before I brought it up."

Shiro sighed and got up. "I just wanna help people..."

"..."

"Even if I found nothing the last time, I might find something this time, or the next time, right?"

Persistence like that that is too scary. Shiro was definitely naive about the world. He thinks he can do something about anything. It kind of made me feel bad for him. It's way easier to not bother. That's what I thought. "Quit while you're ahead," I said, nonchalantly as we shuffled our way through the tighter gap in the wall.

"W-Why you," Shiro sounded like he wanted to shout at me. He grabbed my arm and bit it. Hard.

"Aaa—!" I covered my mouth and nose as I quickened my shuffling. "What the hell was that for, man?" I said, my urge to scream rivalled Shiro's own.

"Shut up and keep moving, I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Jeez, you don't take criticism well at all..."

Despite our arguing, I couldn't see us falling out over this, but I do kinda feel bad. Maybe I shouldn't have spoken up. Instead of saying sorry though, I just stayed quiet until we got back to our in room, feeling too awkward to speak up again.

On our way, we did run into André again. Shiro told him that nothing happened. He also asked André to ask Sherri directly about her sudden change. He was apparently a servant of the royal family, which is why he even knew the princess to begin with.

Shiro was in a bad mood but he could have at least credited me for the idea.

Before reaching our new inn, Shiro stopped, turned to me, and handed me a few silver coins and a map. "Buy yourself a sword, I'm going back to the Mercenary Guild."

...

He was definitely mad at me.

As always, I'm a fuck up and a moron. I must've struck a nerve.

I decided to just go with the flow and look at the map. Shiro had already drawn out a path

to a weapon's store.

Whatever...

I felt like a total piece of shit.

[Donovan]

It appears that the garden is no longer a safe place for the princess to visit.

I noticed only one person's presence while I cured Sherri's boredom, a young man. Though I could not tell who it was through that bush, it's someone inexperienced with eavesdropping.

But it's because of the fact I only noticed one person that is cause for concern. A child was with this man, and they were completely hidden from me. The only time I noticed him was when they were leaving. It could be that this child has come to spy more than once.

I'll ask to have that part sealed up. What awful architecture this country has.

The princess didn't seem to notice, so it was not cause for concern. If they were here to kill her, they would have done so, a gun or any projectile magic would have been fatal even from behind a mere shrub. They would not have succeeded, but they would have tried. I did nothing to shield her. But it would be problematic if she died. My cloak is bullet proof, and I have incredible speed. A bullet would not reach the princess.

If they were assassins, then perhaps they've simply heard of my abilities. I am, of course, aware of my fame in this city. The reason I know they weren't assassins was because the young man was scared, I could tell. He was scared and confused. He didn't even know why he was there. The kid must've dragged him along.

Eavesdropping is the most likely reason, so it must be so.

Nevertheless, what a foolhardy pair.

As humorous as that would be, given there's nothing worth eavesdropping on, I couldn't laugh about it. It reminded me of my childhood too much. It's all so pointless. And anything that's pointless is a pain.

I made my way to my lab, and kept my eyes down. These foolish nobles I had to live with hated me, so I had no choice but to if I wanted to keep my status as high as it was. Their glares didn't affect me, but it was best that I appear meek and subservient to them.

Perhaps they're jealous that I have the princess's favour. And with a princess as emotionally driven as her, it could turn out bad for them once the her majesty, the queen, dies. I wanted to avoid that conflict. Unnecessary deaths are worthless to me, and the risk of being assassinated for setting my sights too high wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

For the years the queen has left, I want to live in peace and without being the target of suspicion.

If I can do that successfully, maybe I can find meaning in this meaningless thing we call life.

[Marisa]

I got a longsword.

It was heavier than I was expecting it to be, but with my new body it was no problem at all.

I practiced swinging it around in our Inn room, but I wasn't very good at it. I thought it would be easy based on movies and anime that had sword fights in them, but it looked like muscles only took me so far. I could barely aim the sword at all, so maybe I should have gotten a shortsword instead.

The idea of fighting didn't really appeal to me. But it would be good to have at least some sort of defence just in case. If I ran into those wolves again, I could probably die slower.

Guess I was going to have to get used to this longsword, because I doubt I could get a refund. This is a fantasy world, I don't think refunds exist.

I put it back in its sheath and crashed into the bed. It wasn't as comfortable as the inn we were staying at before, but it was nice enough.

...

It's just about dinner time. I should probably eat something. But all we had in this inn was fruit that looked weird to me. It was shaped like a hand with four fingers. I didn't really want to put that in my mouth...

Enough, I'll just wait for Shiro to come back home! I'm not eating anything weird until I saw him eating it himself!

But he didn't come back until late, so I ended up going to bed without eating.

I'm starting to wish I kept my mouth shut.

———————————

Author’s Note:

World building is hard, so I tried to keep things light here. Sorry if you were expecting deep lore, but I’m not that good of a writer. I’m not that good at writing in general. Still, my biggest worry is spelling mistakes rather than figuring out a complex world. If you notice any errors, please send me a message about it.

The next chapter will be a significantly longer one, so please be patient and pray for me as I go through the pain of writing and editing that monster.

[Song of the day]

[Next Chapter]

[forgottenluck]

Hello, very curious! Did your blog start as a canon yuri and overtime become this massive au or had it always been an au? If the former, why still say they are yuri? if they doesn’t go by the name yuri or have any resemblance to his canon? I would love to have the courage to do something like this but I also do not wholelly understand it? I apologize if asking this upset you at all!

Lore question?

LORE QUESTION

I LOVE LORE QUESTIONS!!!!!

*cough*

This is absolutely not upsetting at all! I don't get to talk about Koun's beginnings very often, so I'd love to explain a bit!

So consider this a lore dump for Koun's history as a character! Also this got very long so i'm sorry friend.

A little history on Kie and Vesperia

First thing to note, I've been a Yuri Lowell fan for years. And I really mean years. He's been an absolutely fascinating character for me, and I adore how layered he is even in his official canon. It's rare that you get a morally grey main character in a video game, and Yuri was my first introduction to that kind of character in media that wasn't portrayed as a throw-away character. The struggle of good and evil in video games (and media in general) is not a new concept....but at the time, the struggle of a morally grey MC was something I hadn't experienced before.

Good and evil aren't black and white. It's always grey, because it's always based on introspection, environments, and personal experiences. A society can see someone as a good person, but in reality that person is corrupt. Or a person can do something for the greater good but end up scorned by society due to their actions. It's all about perspective....and Vesperia in general handles this topic extremely well. Both in how it handles Yuri's actions, as well as how it handles government corruption and planetary crisis.

This really got me to love not just Yuri, but the game in general, as it was a very real story that...without the fantasy elements, could happen. It wasn't like Graces, in which Government corruption and planetary crisis was solved by friendship....but through war and death that Yuri had to do with his own hands most of the time.

But enough of my gushing over Vesperia and Yuri! I just wanted to explain why I chose Yuri of all characters.

RP History Before Koun

So we've established that I've been a Yuri fan for years. Lets talk about RP. I've been rping on tumblr in general for about....10 years. My first blog was a blog known as @novelisticartist which i had converted from a personal blog to a rp blog thanks to a couple of friends I'd made. My first ever rp post was made on May 14, 2014 (I just went and looked) and it was with a Yuri rper (AU Yuri). The character on that blog was originally a character I'd made up on the fly, an OC that grew along side the blog and the characters I interacted with.

I've been a writer for a lot longer than 10 years. I have massive stories in my head, hundreds of characters, etc....but until that moment, I'd never really set them out on the internet proper. I had rped a little on Deviantart, but nothing to the scale of tumblr. And I wouldn't be here today if not for that one AU Yuri lowell rper giving me the push I needed in order to try.

I used that blog for 2 years, before I moved over to a new blog. This blog was at that time a multimuse blog called musesofadenvale. Originally I worked with both blogs, but thanks to my ADHD I had a hard time focusing on both. Plus, interest had waned for my original character on novelisticartist. So eventually I moved over completely to the new blog.

Origin of Koun

For years, I had been playing a game called Aura Kingdom off and on. It's only been recently that I've completely quit playing, due to them moving servers and not giving enough warning to players to move their stuff over. I lost years worth of work due to this, and it completely turned me off the game. But I still have very fond memories of it, and it's existence has cemented a lot of lore for Koun in general.

Around September or October of 2015, I met some new friends on there. We'll call them M and A for privacy. They were avid rpers and we just....started rping together. I had styled my character in Yuri Lowell style, long black hair, used a sword, etc.....and we all just kind of ran with it.

This was what he looked like in game, and it was really fun to just kind of shove him in the situations that were in the game. I was doing my best to keep him as canon in personality as possible and We had a lot of interesting rps. one of which was where we were all demi-humans, and were trying to escape and it was just silly fun.

Unfortunately, me and A did not last as friends. She was a minor at the time and was not in a good household, and often times used me and M as venting stations. I was handling a lot, taking care of my mother at the time, who was recovering from a transplant, and we ended up growing apart after I put my foot down and requested that I not be vented too at the time.

But me and M continued to be friends for years. It was to her that I initially suggested the basic idea I had at the time for Koun. We were playing the game together and an idea hit my ADHD brain like lightning. She was aware of my love for Vesperia, and Yuri Lowell. I'd introduced her to the game and we had fun talking about it. And as we were playing, I just....had the thought of "what if Yuri Lowell was a god of luck?"

M absolutely lost it at the question, and started talking about how ironic it would be, hilarious even. Since in Vesperia, Yuri often talks about he's cursed with misfortune. The irony of him being a literal being of Luck was hilarious.

And yet...the idea stayed with me. Dug itself in my brain.

At the time, I was already rping on tumblr, and had already divided my attention between the two blogs. I was also playing Okami at the time too, and I have a weakness for japanese folklore in general. I played around with him on Aura Kingdom for a while, did a lot of research into some aspects of folklore, and fleshed out a lot of things on pen and paper (most of which were destroyed in an event at my old apartment which sucks but it is what it is.)

Finally, in January of 2016 I posed a question to my main blog Novelisticartist. I'd spent 2 years building up lore and fleshing out the character on that blog, and I had quite a few people who praised me on the sheer amount of work i'd put into her....so I posed the question of "would you all be willing to rp with an extremely AU version of Yuri Lowell?"

I wouldn't have even suggested it if the first person I'd interacted with had not been an AU Yuri themselves. Unfortunately, that blog is no longer on tumblr, and I hope wherever they are, that they're doing well.

Past Koun and Current Koun

When I first started rping Koun, I really focused hard on keeping what I believed to be the main elements that made Yuri...well Yuri present.

Sassy, Sarcastic, a being with a authority issue. A self-sacrificing idiot sometimes who travels around due to wanderlust.....willing to do something dark for the greater good. I worked hard to integrate similar lore into his AU as his canon...similar things happening. He has a Flynn, he has a Estelle (though their names are slightly different)

Everyone's interpretation of canon characters is different, after all. This was what I believed to be what the main elements that made Yuri up. Kind, but sarcastic. Blunt, but willing to help.

But he's had roughly 6ish...7 years (math not my strong suit) to develop. I'm quite aware that what I intended to do with him is not exactly what happened. he's evolved, changed as a person, with each interaction he's had over the years.

He is not the person he started as. But does he still count as an AU?

In some ways, yes. In others, no.

The basics of him are still the same. He's still sassy. He's still a self-sacrificing idiot. He definitely still has problems with authority figures. He has a thirst for adventure, he works easily with others despite whoever they are.

But there is a rather large divide now between Yuri Lowell, and Koun no Yuuri. Yuri rushes into danger, has a thirst for battle along side of adventure.....but Koun has become cautious. He has legitimate fears, he's cautious about who he interacts with, he has learned from mistakes and events.

The reason I still call Koun a "Yuri Lowell AU" is because I still see Yuri in him. Yuri was a core part of who he was for so long, it's not something I can just get rid of. I've debated with myself numerous times on whether or not to just call Koun an OC at this point....and I think he does qualify as one by now....but i talk myself out of it every time, because of what I see in the character.

As for the name thing, it's more....Koun's full name is Koun no Yuuri. This means "Luck of the Lily" very loosely. One of the things that I liked about Yuri was he gave nicknames to everyone...silly ones, but still nicknames. Koun is merely a shortened version of his own name, and he will often introduce himself (if he gives his full name) as either Koun or Yuri, giving the person the choice as to what to call him.

End Stuffs

I'd like to note, I'm dyslexic and neurodivergent, so explaining things isn't exactly my forte, so some of my reasoning may not make sense. It's hard to get the right words out to explain what's in my head.

In my years on tumblr, I've seen many things. Many different variants on how to rp different characters. I've seen sort of AUs, massive AUs, characters based off canon but not canon nor AU. Heck, the first person to get me rping on tumblr was a "Hipster" Yuri Lowell. The most important piece of advice I can give to a person...

Is do what you like.

Sure, there's lots of discourse over how things need to be "completely accurate to canon" if you wanna call yourself canon.....but I really honestly think that's bullshit. Because as I said earlier, Canon is subjective. Everyone will interpret differently. In the end, what everyone else thinks doesn't really matter, because you should write how you want to write.

Write what you want too. Write what makes you feel good. Find yourself some people who will write with you to have fun. Because that's important. It's important to have fun in what you do. What you write.

If you want to write a mostly canon character, do so. If you wanna write an OC, go for it. If you wanna write an AU canon character so AU that it passes an OC, jooin uuuuus. We welcome you with open arms.

I am always open to questions, or if you need advice! And I absolutely love lore questions! I'm sorry if this long ass reply was intimidating, but I love talking about Koun's backstory, his conception, and meta posts in general!