#and all the valuable experiences and tips that people shared!

[trans-axolotl]

yayyy first harm reduction for sh chat done :) really appreciated everyone's patience because i felt very discombobulated and all over the place but i loved talking with everyone so much and learning together!!

[celestialtarot11]

Why people can’t get enough of you 🪽🤍

Hi friends! We’ll be looking at your astrology chart more in depth to decipher why people can’t get enough of you! This doesn’t just relate to physical aspects—but more so how you carry yourself. Feel free to like reblog & comment to spread love

Leo—The way your eyes burn with passion and sparkle with enthusiasm for the things you love enamors people. People feel like they could listen to you talk about your path, your journey to creating who you are. You’re inspirational. Your words inspire others to become a better version of themselves and when people are with you, you help them to unconsciously alchemize any wounds related to their inner child. You help them feel safe unconsciously, which is why they view you as authentic and genuine—thus making them irresistibly attracted to you. You awaken something primal in people so they can make an active change in their lives. A shot of espresso truly. You’re like a flurry of soft energy yet its powerful enough to leave people scrambling behind you—all puppy like and following your lead. You have then on the tip of their toes and they don’t even realize it until its too late.

Cancer—the knowledge you harbor about your emotional world is so attractive. The way you understand duality, logic vs intuition, trauma vs healing, and the way you articulate your healing experiences is what draws people in. You may already participate in some form of manifestation in your life, and people can feel that luminary charm you carry. You’re like a siren on a dark night, sharp and all seeing yet graceful. People feel when they’re with you, you soothe yet awaken something so deep in them. It scares people, because most of them don’t understand what is changing within them unconsciously when they’re with you. It’s because you inspire them to think deeply beyond surface level awareness. People may find it easy to talk to you, opening up or sharing something deep within the first meeting, because your energy is inviting them to alchemize their wounds.

Scorpio—Your energy is infectious. I’ve noticed scorpios with this placement are pretty open and have a sarcastic kind of humor. People are attracted to the way you banter and how you do it effortlessly. It’s easy—laughter, joy, and yet they feel like they don’t completely know you when they’re with you. They feel as though you’re like fog, hard to grab yet it’s right there. Always dissipating. But that makes it even more exciting, right? People like to think they know you—until you do something that doesn’t fit in their narrative. They may find you even more complex, and driven by the things they don’t understand about you, they fall into your charm. Easy. You have them in your grasp just by remaining a mystery.

Capricorn—Your dedication, hard work and ability to remain steady in what you do is attractive. If placed in the first house you take care of yourself with a sense of dedication and respect. There is something luxurious to your energy. Like you’re the best, top up there is. And people feel as though they miss out on your rich valuables experiences you give only to those you trust. Your inner circle is small which is why people on the outside want in. They want to be apart of your circle and secret garden. But you know your worth and people know you have a sharp eye. This is something people admire yet find themselves crumbling at—because they know if they want to talk to you they better have their shit together. They can’t come to you playing games. God/goddess energy. You bring them to their knees and people fantasize about you taking control.

Sagittarius—There is something heavier about your energy that people feel drawn to. Although ruled by Jupiter, your influence is felt heavily. So is your presence. There is something uncanny about the way you carry yourself, and I mean more so eerie. The way you talk as if you know more yet choose to not say it, the looks you give when you know there is more to it yet you remain private about it. People catch on and form an interest towards you. What’s your intentions? Goals? Ambitions? People may see you working random hours or doing something they didn’t think you’d be doing—which only garners their interest. People just want to know what’s going on in that head of yours. You’re driven by your intuition and instincts, yet you remain razor sharp logically. Your mind works like a piston and people are attracted to your ability to analyze situations with ease.

Virgo—You’re here to have a good time, a lot of people know this. Your open energy is what makes it easy to talk to you and get to know you. The thing is, people find themselves leaving your conversations confused. Confused because they felt they were getting to know you yet only end up with more questions. This is because you’re multi-dimensional. You’re multi-faceted. You’re quick with banter and teasing, and suddenly you’re looking out the window with a somber expression explaining your theories of life (lol love you virgos) and yet people are captivated by both your sides. Your airy, loopy and sweet side, and this grounded, analytical presence you have. This part of you that becomes sentimental to understand life is so precious and pure, and yet it’s there due to working through years of trauma. It’s like you’ve alchemized your bitterness into molasses and people want more. More of your authentic pureness, your somberness. They feel as though they’re in a movie with you.

Pisces—When people thought they knew you they were completely incorrect. People usually deem you as quiet, meek, or complacent. But then they get into your little world and they are met with surprise. Either you’re really great at a certain skill, and they’ve clearly underestimated you because of your ability to hide and scurry—and now when they see you. In all your glory, it’s as if people are dumbstruck. This is what pulls them in. They begin to understand all these different parts of you, and the thing is you may end up confused by yourself, surprised even. Because when you’re with people they bring different parts of you out. So every time you’re with someone it’s never the same experience. It’s always unique. They will never find you in anyone else. It’s hard to replicate the moments and memories with you, which is why people cling to you and stay in your energy. People appreciate your multi faceted nature and realize they can’t take you for granted, it would be a huge mistake. A huge error on their part because there is nothing else comparable to your energy.

Aquarius—People, when they look at you they know something is different. Something is unique. You’ve figured out, or you’re experimenting with a style. A way of speaking, a way of coordinating yourself. Maybe it’s your cultural background. There is something unmistakably “put together,” about you, even if you understand nothing in your life is necessarily that way. The thing is you may understand you’re a mere human being yet when others look at you there’s a sense of otherworldliness. I think it’s because you’ve seen many dimensions and eras in your life. The deepest parts of your hurt and shame, to the parts that have healed. You carry all of that in you like a moving picture, that changes over time. And in every frame you change subtly. So when people look at you—they see painting in progress yet complete and whole. When people are talking to you, they find themselves gaping, star struck at your wisdom and your thoughts. People think, before I met you, I always used to do this thing one way until I met you. I used to think this way until I met you. You are like a star in the dark night.

Gemini—You are like a fairy tale come alive. Quizzical, in character and buoyant with this joy to see the world. Even though it’s just the day apart from yesterday. People may look at you and admire your thirst for understanding the world. Yet you know there is something so much deeper than what meets the eyes. So you like to observe, analyze, all whilst hiding your trump card up your sleeve. Because you’re smart. And I think people underestimate this completely—your deep black hole of a mind. Until you decide to show that side. To see their reaction, to test the waters. People feel scrutinized under you, yet can’t help but enjoy it. The way you look at them, the way you analyze them like they’re prey. They like your attention to detail. They are drawn to you because there’s this sense of authority around you. And they know it’s because you’re smart and intelligent, and they feel like a fool for underestimating you. They’re attracted and want to know more, and it humbles them. People feel humbled when they’re around you. Its the way you communicate effectively and precisely yet throw in a joke or two. Easy. And people admire your fluid sense of communication. And the cadence of your voice, your expressive eyes. All of it.

Aries—People are attracted to you because of your ability to sit back and enjoy, yet get to work and grind. You’re not afraid of getting your hands dirty, and people find this liberating. They find it liberating to be around you because they don’t feel judged in doing the same. There is a sense of wearing your heart on your sleeve even if it’s been hurt. Your resilience in accepting what was—and honoring your imperfections is what inspires others. Your sense of accomplishment, purpose, and freedom is what inspires others too. Your authority and need to be on-top is also what instills fear in others, because they know stepping on your toes won’t end pretty. People are attracted to your efficiency, your energy. It’s like fireworks. Sparkling yet looming and ominously beautiful. It comes with a thunder too. So people are attracted to the way you take up space without an apology. Authentically being yourself. Thriving in your communities.

Taurus—Ever so slow and calculating. Yet undeniably beautiful and effortless. Your charm is what sways others first, they are called in by your presence. There is a sense of boldness yet undeniable gentleness in the way you handle your heart. And people are attracted to both sides of you. The grounded, stern and reasoning side. And the side that nurtures and holds space, and allows for growth. You’re like spring. Sewing in the seeds for a better future, laying down beds of soil. Letting the sun shine. Letting yourself rain when ready. People admire your process of growth and healing, and find themselves also feeling safe to experience their growth around you too. Your words of wisdom are strong and hold a sense of firmness. It feels unshakeable. This comforts others because it sounds less of a question, and more of a statement. You’re affirming what people like to hear. And it’s smart. Because it works. People are attracted to you like moths to a flame. I think apart of you is very good with your word, you say it when you mean it, and only say it when necessary. So people find themselves wanting to know more of your thoughts. What is your view on xyz, because there is something poetic about how you speak too.

Libra—Your sense of freedom is what draws people in. Your ability to let loose and bring down peoples walls is powerful. When people are around you they feel as though you are a social butterfly. You’re always engaged in something even if it’s small. You’re apart of some community and people view you as intelligent, loyal to your work, and yet sweet and funny. People find themselves gravitating to your open energy because when they are with you, they feel they can put their cards on the table. And sometimes you think it’s their mistake of being so open, because now you can read them. Now you can understand them deeper. And although you radiate an open energy, there is still something undeniably unbridled and unsettling about you. Maybe it’s the look you give people when you realized you caught onto something they said, whereas others ignore it. Maybe it’s in the way you discreetly make a joke about your life, and people find themselves asking for clarification. Only for you to hide it. People are drawn to the personas you play at work, and in social settings. They feel as though there is something more to you yet can’t put their tongue on it.

Thanks sm for reading yall! Very poetic post 👀 in the meantime I’ve rested up pretty well during the weekend indulging in leon kennedy edits lmao. My man. Enjoy yall.

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[performativezippers]

This is a departure from what I usually do, but I'm hiring a bunch of people at my work right now and thought I'd leave you some tips in case you're going to be job searching anytime soon. Disclaimer: nothing applies to everyone, etc, whatever. I work in higher ed as a staff member which is big and bureaucratic and of like a dysfunctional nonprofit, but this will apply to many other jobs/industries as well.

tl;dr: make your resume relevant and clean, customize and personalize your cover letter, use every interview question as the chance to share an experience from a previous job that makes you look good, and remember the answer is never just "no."

Resume Tips

Include past job history for 5 years if you're young or 10 years if you're older. If your only experience isn't directly relevant (ex: you've only worked in fast food and it's a receptionist job), frame the duties in ways that make it seem more relevant, such as "customer service" instead of "500 hot dogs a day."

include dates of employment -- i fyou don't, i assume you have something to hide (you got fired after 3 months)

Each job should have 3-5 bullet points describing the duties. Don't lie, but you can make them sound cool. "Answered the phones" could be "First point of contact for all clients and contractors."

Format it so I can read it. I should easily be able to see position, company, dates, and duties. The page should have a decent amount of white space so my eyeballs don't explode, but it's very obvious if you have nothing to say and are making the margins big to make it look full. Don't do that!

Cover letter Tips

WRITE ONE, oh my god. We asked for resume and cover letter for the application and automatically rejected everyone who didn't write one. I know they suck, but if you're applying for the job, actually apply for the job.

Address it to the right person/job. We are hiring for a case manager, and we got several that said things like "i look forward to joining your company as a project specialist" or whatever. (a) not a company, (b) not a project specialist. I KNOW you use a template that you update for each job you apply to, but you have to actually update it, buddy.

Customize it. "I will bring valuable skills to your company" is nothing. That's meaningless. I ignore that. The cover letter is for you to tell me why you'd be a good fit for my job, not a job.

The format can be: "Dear X, I am writing to enthusiastically apply to the position of [job] at [company]." Paragraph on your related experience. Paragraph on why what you can bring is perfect for what they specifically need (include something you learned from your research on their website for bonus points). A sentence or two on what excites you about this job. "Thank you very much for your time and consideration, Your Name."

Interview Tips

Be on time. Dress in a way that demonstrates effort (like a button down shirt). If you have a natural resting bitch face, try not to for the interview.

If you're doing it in person (not on zoom or phone) bring something to write things down on, like a notepad. This is where you can keep your questions for them, as well as jot down ideas that occur to you as they're asking the question. Don't use your phone, it looks unprofessional.

Write down questions in advance that you have for them. DO NOT ask about pay or benefits or vacation (you can do that later). You can ask things like "what would a typical day in this role look like?" or "how would you describe the company culture?" or whatever. if you've done research, the more specific questions you can ask, the better. "I'd love to hear about the origins of X project, which I was reading about on your website." Nice.

Every question is a chance for you to share a specific story from your work history that paints you in a positive light. If they ask "How would you organize all of our client files?" don't say "in a filing cabinet or hard drive." That's because I know about filing cabinets and hard drives; assume the interview isn't stupid. You can say, "At my previous role, we had a lot of client files and what I did to organize them was ____." I KNOW you don't know how I organize my files, and that's okay because you don't work here yet. What I'm really asking is, "do you understand the ways that not organizing things is bad, and have you had experience with organizing similar stuff in an effective manner? Prove to me I can trust you with my files."

Do not ever speak about yourself or your previous job negatively. If they ask why you're leaving your current job (they shouldn't), be vague and polite. You're "looking for a new challenge," or "my current position has taught me a lot, and while it's really great, my future career goals are much more in line with [something this company or job does]."

If they ask about your experience with something you have zero experience with, like "have you used salesforce" and you're like, bro, no, i worked at wendy's, YOUR ANSWER IS NEVER JUST "NO." You can say something vaguely positive about yourself like "I haven't, but I learn new systems quickly and that's something I'm really looking forward to learning and becoming fluent with in this role" or you can mention something similar, like, "I haven't used salesforce, but my previous role used a different database to manage our client contacts and [some stuff you think is relevant about that and how good at it you are]."

Questions? feel free to ask!

[thetarotwitch111]

What's your dark side?

When you understand better your darker aspects and take steps to balance them, you can enjoy fully their potential without falling into their traps. Each of these dark gifts offers you the opportunity to live the best life, aligned with who you truly are,but only if you approach them with the right perspective...

✨I hope this reading brings you some clarity and guidance. If it resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it!

✨ And if you’re looking for something more personal, I also do individual readings—just DM me anytime.

🌟TIP JAR🌟

Some of my energy works : PERSONAL READINGS | PENDULUM READINGS | CHAKRA BALANCE | RADIONIC TABLE

Now, let's go for your reading!

Close your eyes, concetrate, take this moment for yourself only and ask your guides and the universe to tell you in which pile is the message meant for you.

Cards from: The Magickal Botanical Oracle by Maxine Miller

💚 Pile 1:The Witch's Garden

Your Dark Side: You possess a unique ability to delve into the depths of life where most fear to tread. This dark side makes you a seeker of hidden truths and buried secrets. However, the darker aspects of this ability lie in your potential to become consumed by the shadows you explore. Your curiosity for the unknown can lead you into obsessive or compulsive behaviors, as you dig deeper into the mysteries that others would rather leave alone. There’s a danger in becoming too comfortable in these dark spaces, where the lines between reality and illusion can blur. This can manifest as an attraction to the morbid or the macabre, pulling you into thoughts or environments that are difficult to escape from.

Perks of having your dark side: Your deep understanding of the darker aspects of life allows you to see and appreciate the full spectrum of human experience. You can help others navigate their own darkness, providing a guiding light in times of despair. This makes you incredibly empathetic and resilient, able to face life’s challenges with a calm that others admire. Your willingness to confront the uncomfortable truths of existence gives you a wisdom that is rare and valuable.

Cautions: The danger with your dark side is in becoming too absorbed in it. Your fascination with the hidden and the obscure can isolate you from others, as they may not understand or share your interests. This can lead to feelings of loneliness or alienation. Additionally, your comfort with the darker aspects of life may attract negative energies or entities that feed off your interest in the macabre, leading to a draining of your emotional or spiritual vitality. There’s also a risk of becoming overly cynical or pessimistic, as constant exposure to life’s darker side can skew your perception of the world.

Witch’s advice: To maintain balance and protect yourself from these darker influences, work with moonstone to keep your emotions steady and your intuition sharp. Incorporate a bath ritual with lavender and rosemary to cleanse any negative energy you may pick up during your explorations. You can use a white candle (as it represent all colors) during meditation to honor and contain your shadow side, and ask your spiritual guides to balance your energy and remind you of the light (with the laws of universe). Regularly burn sage or palo santo to purify your space, ensuring that you are not overwhelmed by the energies you encounter.

💚 Pile 2: Belladonna

Your dark side: Your charm is a powerful tool, but it comes with a darker edge. You have the ability to manipulate others, bending their will to serve your own purposes, and this can lead you to have some behaviors and make some decisions that are ethically questionable, using deceit or seduction to get what you want. The darker aspects of your charm are tied to a potential for narcissism, where the focus on your own desires eclipses any concern for the well-being of others. You may find yourself using people as pawns in a game, not fully considering the impact of your actions on their lives. This can lead to a cycle of destructive relationships, where trust is eroded and connections are shallow.

Perks of having your dark side: Your charm gives you the ability to achieve goals that others might find impossible. You can navigate complex social dynamics with ease, making you a powerful force in both personal and professional settings. Your ability to influence others means you can often turn situations to your advantage, leading to success in areas where others might struggle. This dark side also gives you a strategic mind, allowing you to plan and execute with precision.

Cautions: The danger with Belladonna’s dark allure is the potential to lose touch with your authentic self. The constant use of charm and manipulation can create a façade that becomes difficult to maintain, leading to feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction. There’s also the risk of alienating those around you as they begin to see through your manipulations. Over time, this can result in a lack of deep, meaningful connections, leaving you isolated despite your social success. Additionally, the power you wield can lead to an inflated ego, where you start to believe that you are invincible or above the rules that govern others.

Witch’s advice: To keep your darker tendencies in check, carry obsidian to ground yourself and maintain a connection to your true intentions. Brew a tea with mugwort to enhance your clarity and ensure that your actions are aligned with your higher self and to amplify your charm without falling into manipulation, indulge in a bath with white rose petals and jasmine—these will help you connect with your heart and maintain sincerity in your interactions. You can also light a red candle and ask for help to your spiritual guides (with the laws of universe) to focus your ambition, but also to be mindful of the impact of your actions on others and your own path. A lavender and camomille tea is always a good choice too.

💚 Pile 3: Thorn Apple

Your dark side: You are a natural risk-taker, unafraid to venture into the unknown or push boundaries that others fear to cross. This fearlessness is part of your dark side, but it also has a darker aspect, recklessness and your attraction to danger can lead you to make impulsive decisions without fully considering the consequences or others feelings. You might find yourself drawn to self-destructive behaviors, or seeking out adrenaline-fueled experiences that put you or others at risk. There’s a potential for addiction to the thrill, leading you down paths that are difficult to return from. This dark side can also manifest as a tendency to challenge authority or rules, not out of principle, but for the sheer thrill of defiance.

Perks of having your dark side: Your willingness to take risks gives you a unique advantage in life. You are able to achieve things that others would never attempt, simply because you’re not afraid to fail. This boldness allows you to live a life that is full and intense, rich with experiences that most people can only dream of. Your dark side also gives you the ability to inspire others, encouraging them to step out of their comfort zones and embrace life’s challenges.

Cautions: The flip side of your fearlessness is the potential for chaos. Your attraction to extremes can lead to instability in your life, where you constantly seek out new thrills without considering the long-term impact. This can strain relationships, as those around you may find it difficult to keep up with your pace or understand your need for intensity. There’s also a risk of burnout, as the constant push for more can exhaust your physical, emotional, and mental resources. Additionally, your tendency to defy rules and authority can create conflict and put you in situations where the stakes are dangerously high.

Witch’s advice: To protect yourself as you navigate these intense experiences, carry a black tourmaline as a shield against negative energies and to keep you grounded in reality. Cleanse your spirit regularly with a bath infused with hyssop. (This herb will purify your energy and remove any residue from your daring ventures). You can also light a purple candle for your guides to ask (with the laws of universe) for energies of transformation, transmutations and protection when embarking on new challenges, ensuring that you are guided and guarded. Burn myrrh or frankincense incense to clear your path and sharpen your focus, helping you maintain clarity and strength even when faced with the most extreme situations.

[astrojulia]

How you receive your insights

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Where does your Eureka moment come from? So, Uranus' position in your birth chart can shed light on the areas where you are most likely to receive insights and experience transformative new directions in life. Let's explore each house and the corresponding themes:

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 1st house:

You are often receiving new insights into yourself, discovering yourself in front of your fears, desires and the deepest parts of your identity, it is as if nothing of yours can remain obscure from yourself and you end up revealing all your facets sooner or later. Your keen understanding of the self can give you excellent psychoanalytic or people-reading skills.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 2nd house:

Your insights revolve around being resourceful, knowing how to deal with material things in an innovative and spontaneous way, as if you don't have a spoon to stir a glass, but you have a fork that can do it and that's okay. You have your ideas when you need to solve material money issues and when you ask yourself what kind of value you want, is it material? Psychological? Academic? Self-management?

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 3rd house:

Your receptivity to higher meanings allows you to gain insights from routine experiences. Changes in direction can happen quickly, making it seem like you are undergoing total transformations to those around you. Your drive to apply insights practically and effectively can lead to meaningful learning and personal growth.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 4th house:

Your insights, in addition to coming when you're lying in your bed trying to sleep but you can't, or when you're working at home and have a new idea, they come when you ask yourself as a member of your family and sometimes society, which it is your role as a sister, mother, cousin and these questions can be extended to a neighbor, citizen, (insert your nationality here).

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 5th house:

You receive your insights when you have a beautiful smile on your face, that is, in moments of relaxation and happiness, when you feel that you have managed to put into matter what was in your mind for so long. You'll likely experience revelations regarding your creative abilities and ways to enhance them further. Delving into your artistic expressions might lead to transformative experiences. Additionally, these insights can extend to your interactions with children, influencing innovative approaches to nurturing and understanding them.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 6th house:

Your insights tend to come to you when you are fully engaged in your work or daily routines. You possess a unique ability to see unconventional solutions to practical problems, which makes you a valuable asset in any team or workplace. Your capacity to innovate in your job or health-related matters can lead to sudden breakthroughs, transforming not just your life but also the lives of those around you.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 7th house:

Your insights often come through your interactions with others, especially in one-on-one relationships and partnerships. You have an innate curiosity about the people you connect with, leading you to understand their motivations and desires on a deeper level. This ability grants you an edge in negotiating and finding unconventional solutions in partnerships, whether it's in business or personal relationships.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 8th house:

Your insights are closely tied to profound emotional experiences and moments of introspection. You are drawn to explore the depths of your psyche and the mysteries of life, often undergoing transformative journeys that uncover hidden truths about yourself and the world around you. These insights may come through encounters with intense situations, shared resources, or during intimate connections with others.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 9th house:

Your receptivity to insights flourishes when you step out of your comfort zone and explore new horizons, both mentally and physically. You're likely to receive transformative insights through travel, higher education, or engaging in philosophical discussions. Your open-mindedness and willingness to challenge traditional beliefs enable you to grasp profound truths and understand complex concepts effortlessly.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 10th house:

Your insights are often related to your career, public image, and the impact you wish to make on the world. You possess an innovative approach to leadership and are not afraid to challenge the status quo in your professional life. Your ability to see opportunities where others might see obstacles can lead to unexpected career advancements and recognition.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 11th house:

Your insights tend to come through your involvement in groups, communities, or social causes. You thrive in collaborative environments where ideas are freely exchanged, and you are eager to bring about positive change. Your progressive thinking and visionary ideas make you a catalyst for transformative initiatives that benefit society as a whole.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 12th house:

Your insights often arise during moments of solitude and introspection. You possess a deep connection to the collective unconscious and your higher self, which allows you to tap into universal wisdom and hidden knowledge. You might experience transformative insights through dreams, meditation, or artistic expressions. Embracing your intuitive nature and exploring the spiritual realms can lead to profound personal growth and healing.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[cy-cyborg]

Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it - Writing disability quick tips

[ID: An image with “Writing Disability quick tips: Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it” written in chalk the colour of the disability pride flag, from left to right, red, yellow, white, blue and green. Beside the text are 2 poorly drawn people icons in blue, one is standing, the other is in a wheelchair. /end id]

One of the really common ways people push back against disabled people trying to give them feedback on how they’ve depicted disability in their work shows up as something along the lines of, “Well I have a child/parent/grandparent/friend with that disability, so I don’t need to consult other disabled people because I already know what a life like that is like!”

I see the most vehement pushback like this from parents of disabled children. the parents who are their child's advocates, their carers, they see everything their kids go through and have been with them through it all, so they "know what they're talking about already". And the thing about that is, while it means you have much, much more experience with the disability in question, it's not the same as direct experience living with it. Don't get me wrong, it's still an incredibly valuable experience to have, I'm not saying to disregard it, but it's not the same as having that disability. And when you're writing about characters who are disabled, and telling those stories to a public who already have a lot of misinformation about us going in, that lived experience is very, very important.

This isn't unique to parents of course, like I said, I've seen the same kind of pushback from children, friends and other loved ones of disabled people, and honestly, as someone who's been on both sides of the conversation (being a disabled person, but also having loved ones with disabilities different to my own), I do get where it comes from. But no matter how close you are with your disabled loved one, no matter how much you talk, no matter how much they explain everything, unless you yourself have that same disability, it's incredibly hard to understand the details of what life with a disability is like.

Let me use my partner as an example:

Often times, before these larger articles go up, I run them by my partner to ensure the tone and message I want to get across is actually what’s being conveyed. Which means he’s read pretty much every single article I’ve written on this blog. We talk about disability representation and tropes a lot, and he is one of the only people who sees my unmasked and unfiltered reactions to media when it’s done poorly. He’s also done a great deal of his own research on the subject, and worked with other disability sensitivity readers for his own writing projects. Not to mention, well, we live together, he sees pretty much every part of my day-to-day life and he’s one of the only people who doesn't share my disability who I talk to about the more complex emotions that come with it.

I think it’s pretty fair to say he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject of living with the specific disabilities I have for someone who doesn't have them. Despite that though, he still makes mistakes. He still misses things, and sometimes, internalised ableism - something everyone has, even disabled people - still creeps its way into his work. So do mistakes he simply didn't consider to run past me or his sensitivity readers. It’s not because he’s not listening or not trying, I’d confidently say he’s gone above and beyond in that regard, but it still happens. He still misses things that seem so obvious to me, specifically because of my lived experience as a disabled person who has to deal with these things all the time. It’s not unique to him either. A lot of people in my life are aware of the issues I talk about, but struggle to recognise them in practice or struggle to understand why them being depicted poorly is a problem.

This isn't to discourage creators from trying, mind you. But just to serve as a reminder that everyone makes mistakes, and that's ok, so long as you're still trying and still listening. No matter how close you are to a disabled person, no matter how much work or effort you put into unlearning things like internalised ableism, it's still going to pop up occasionally. And that's fine, but it means that you still need to be open to the criticism you get from people with that disability.

[cilis-readings]

pac for a mini week ahead reading

reminder: these are very general readings. messages can be picked from each pile and apply to you and your current situation. take what resonates, leave what doesn’t :)

pile 1

fate is leading you where you need to go! just let it do it’s job, don’t feel called back into the past by situations or people that no longer serve you. you might be working on moving from a painful cycle to a new one that leaves you feel accomplished and refreshed. trust in the process, life is all about cycles and periods of rebirth. embrace any new ideas or experiences that come your way this week.

pile 2

it’s time for you to let go of that unhealthy attachment to nostalgia. the past is in the past, things change and people leave for a variety of reasons but you can’t keep living in the past. your present and future are much more valuable to you now. stop wishing that things were like they were in the past. it’s time to embrace the possibilities that lie ahead of you! take this week as a buffer period to fully let go of the past and get ready for the now!

pile 3

you might run into someone this week that you end up building a very close relationship with. this could be romantic or platonic, but whichever it ends up being, this person will be a major part of your life. the connection that you two share will be one that is mutually beneficial in more ways than one! the dynamic will be of equal give and take where neither of you feel like you’re being drained by the other. take some time to nurture the relationships around you so you can see which relationship is the one that will grow into something bigger!

if you’d like a more in depth reading i offer paid readings here!! i also have a tip jar if you’re feeling kind,, tips are not expected but they are very appreciated! any feedback is appreciated as well, i hope this reading was helpful to you in one way or another :)

[myfirstgamejam]

My First Game Jam 2024 is on!

The optional theme is: “Light”

Here’s a few tips and links to get the most out of the jam.

Make a dev log on the community!

A development blog is a blog in which a game developer or team talks about the process they’ve made over the course of the game’s creation. Maintaining a devblog keeps your audience in the know and helps facilitate productivity so you’ll have something to blog about. It also serves as a record of problems you encounter as well as the solutions you find for those problems.

Development logs are essentially the same thing, except we’ll be using the jam forums rather than a blog. However, you are free to use both the forums and your own blog as you develop your game.

Doing so is not necessary at all, but check out all the logs from last jam! In order to get the most out of your jam experience, it is vital that you interact with your fellow jammers and the community surrounding it. They’ll provide valuable feedback and support to help you along the way. So please, we encourage you to mingle, post in other logs, and of course post your own!

In addition, you are encouraged to add images and gifs. Here’s some programs to help facilitate that:

ScreenToGif

Licecap

Start your dev log today!

Respect your community!

Take a moment to review our code of conduct. We strive to create a safe, supportive, and productive environment, and we appreciate your efforts to make our community welcoming for everyone!

Post daily updates!

Post screenshots or fun mishaps to your dev log, twitter, tumblr, or your own blog to track your progress and get feedback. Tag your posts as #MyFirstGameJam so other jammers can find your work! To get the most exposure you can also tag #gamedev or #ScreenshotSaturday for Saturdays! Share your work and link back to your devlog to get feedback.

Manage your time and tasks!

We have a list of of useful time and task management tools for staying on top of your project. Set goals early and keep track of how fast it takes you to reach them!

Use our resources!

Still deciding on an engine? No problem. Check out this post to see what fits your project best or try the sortingh.at!

We have also started migrating our resource lists over to a new jam resources wiki! Here's some direct page links:

Unity resources

Godot resources

Gamemaker resources

RPGMaker resources

Ren'py resources

Twine resources

Free assets

Resources tag on blog

If you still have questions about the jam itself, take a look at our rules page!

Join the jam chat!

Want to share your work or ask for help? Or even just take a break from dev? Join discord chat here! (Please note you must be at least 14 years old to join!) Feel free to say hi and share your work! If you need help with a specific skill or engine, you can @/Unity or @/2D Art to notify mentors. If you think you would like to help other people with some part of games–join us as a mentor! You can get notifications when someone has a question about engines or skills you have expertise in!

Here’s a quick guide to how you can become a mentor.

Heed advice from previous jammers

This jam we took the time to write up a quick summary of advice from previous jammers: Know how to scope.

You can read about the number one game jam killer here!

Take care of yourself!

Game-making can be exhausting as well as rewarding! You are more important than your work, and we compiled a list of helpful tools for getting the most out of you!

Aaaand good luck!

Game dev can be exciting, frustrating, and extremely rewarding. We hope to give you the tools to help you succeed in your goals in the next two weeks!

[johannestevans]

Okay so similarly to last anon about topping as a trans guy/trans masc, how do you build the confidence within yourself to top someone with a penis? Cause my partner is super kind and willing to let me learn but I struggle with my own mental barrier of lime not being "manly" enough or confident enough for topping. I know a lot of it is internalized transphobia but I just wasn't sure if you had any past experiences that helped you over come that or other fears surrounding newness and such.

my directory of work / / tip jar

That sounds like a tough set of feelings that are all mixed up together!

I'm gonna unpack some gender stuff and ungendering things first, and then specifically get onto feelings of masculinity, because I think those are two separate mental processes that are (understandably) tangled up.

Before I go on, though, there's a lot of thoughts and exercises I'm going through in this essay, and I just want to say that more valuable than anything I'm about to say re: your sexual relationship with your partner, is to talk to them.

]Everything below is ontological gender thoughts and then feelings about your own confidence and masculinity, but given that the important thing here is your sexual chemistry and dynamic and relationship while the two of you fuck, their feelings and thoughts might well be super valuable here!

Even if you just say, "Hey, I asked this pretty writer fag for advice because I've been feeling these feelings and it's been tough for me, would you also like to read what he said?", that might be very helpful and valuable!

All these big feelings and big problems often feel less big when we share them with those we love and are intimate with. A problem shared is a problem halved - an insecurity shared with a trusted someone is one that can be soothed and be specifically treated with gentle gloves. If your partner doesn't know about it, they can't do that!

Anyway, on to me talking too much:

Me and my boyfriend were at a kink event yesterday that was very straight-dominated, and one thing that sort of occurred to us that we don't tend to think about, because we're not really in community with cishets and their sexual culture, is that for a lot of cishets, "pegging" - a cis man being penetrated with a strap-on, by a woman or by someone else without a cock, is in itself considered a kink.

And Lewis was like, "And that's ridiculous because it's just like... It's the woman topping. It's not special or important because it's just two people in a relationship and she's the one topping, but because they're straight, it becomes about him being humiliated and her dominating him when it's literally just normal."

And he's obviously right, like...

People often assume that in a sexual dynamic:

the top = the dominant partner = the more masculine partner

the bottom = the submissive partner = the more feminine partner

But the act of topping or bottoming (which I'm using in this context to refer to someone being the penetrating or penetrated partner, although "top" and "bottom" are often used to refer to a partner acting versus a partner acted upon, which is explored and discussed a lot in this glorious piece, Top or Bottom: How do we desire? from The New Inquiry a few years ago) is not in itself an act of domination or submission.

You mention not being confident enough to top, and link that confidence with your masculinity - do you think of topping as an inherently more confident act than bottoming? Is there a certain security you associate with topping, or a certain certainty of thought or intention, that you might not ascribe to bottoming, because you think of bottoming as passive and topping as active?

To be penetrated is not to be subjugated, nor is penetration in itself an act of subjugation, or emasculation, or even domination.

But while we still think of penetration as domination, we automatically association that act of domination with masculinity, with butchness, with being (as in the essay) the brute, with being the actor upon the acted, with being the "active" (as opposed to passive) partner, etc, because in cishetero ideals of sex, sex is something done by the man to the woman.

But you know trans girls that top, do you not? Whether that's them fucking boys or girls or other people entirely, there are trans woman who top. They are not less feminine for doing so, they're certainly not less womanly.

And you know cis men that bottom, yes? And not just twinky, effete, fairy boys who are fruity with lisps and grabbable hips and pretty eyes - there are big, hypermasculine butch men with glistening muscles and thatches of thick hair on their tits who just stepped out of a Tom of Finland poster who love to be fucked. It might well be those ethereal fairy boys who are doing the fucking.

Perhaps they like to be bent over and fucked - perhaps they like to lie back and cup the faces of their partner and coax them into fucking him, smiling sweetly, saying, "That's it, come into me, you're doing so well, yes," and treating it as an act of love and tenderness, but also, one in which he is still undeniably in control and the dominant party, but not by way of typical masculine, patriarchal performance. It can be anything it wants to be, depending on what the parties involved are intending, what they're thinking, feeling.

What the fucking signifies and what it means is in the eye of the fucker.

Is a cis woman topping her cis man boyfriend masculine? Is she actually taking away his masculinity, or is she having any for her own? Is she less or more feminine because she uses a strap-on? Is it more or less so if it's matched to the colour of her flesh?

What if it's pink?

And all of what I've just said really assumes a binary of tenders, of the transfeminine and transmasculine as extensions of the cisfeminine and cismasculine, as parallels of their gender thinking that in themselves are, you know, constructed by the dominant culture - white Western imperial culture, where that binary was constructed and where those boxes exist to oppress and to control, through a flimsy defence of "biology" and also through constructed social roles.

How much do you believe in that stuff?

Play it out as a mental exercise - make a list (you don't have to write it down, you can just think about it in your head) of the sex acts you and your current partner do together, and the sex acts you've done with other partners, and other sex acts that you've dreamed about or fantasised about, and ask yourself...

Do I think of this sex act as more masculine or feminine or is it gender-neutral, or do I think it's genderfucky in some way? If it's genderfucky, in what ways is it genderfucky?

Is it genderfucky because it particularly adheres to or particularly subverts certain gender roles in or outside of the bedroom? Is it genderfucky because it exists in some way outside of the gender binary for you, whether that makes it genderless or genderful, or abstracts it to some entirely different kinds of gender?

For example, if a cisgender man is penetrated by someone else's homegrown cock, how does that feel, genderwise? What if it's someone else's cock as a strap-on? Does the colour or consistency or size of that cock matter in the equation? What if the person penetrating him is an android, and their cock is part of their body, but it's metal or silicon or otherwise matched to their robotic body? What if the person penetrating him is someone who's had a phalloplasty, and their penis was made via surgery and a cool skin graft from their arm? What if it's a fantasy universe where the person did have a clitoris, but they drank a potion and it turned into an average or more-sized typical cock? What if the person penetrating the man is a tentacle monster or some other kind of alien creature, and they do not conform with the bipedal constraint of the human form?

What if all of that is the same, but the cisgender man being penetrated is now a transgender man? What if all this happens to a transgender woman? What if all this happens to a cisgender woman? What if all that happens to a nonbinary person?

If that nonbinary person was assigned female at birth, or if they were assigned male at birth, does that change your feelngs or your assumptions? Why? If that person has had different surgeries of their own - phalloplasties or vaginoplasties, penectomies or mastectomies, metoidioplasties, or any other kind of genital reconstructive surgeries? Does that change anything?

And that's just the act of penetration, but you can think of any other kind of act that you do during sex or as a lead up to sex - kissing, massage, biting, frotting, using a vibrator, nipple play, spanking, dressing up, etc etc. How does gender play into it? What are you gendering, and what are you not gendering? What about the language you use? Say, calling a cis man's chest his tits or boobies or breasts or his mommy milkers, but calling a cis woman's chest her pecs or her chest, or even her man boobs?

What acts do you see as adhered to specific gender identities or presentations or ideas of gender, and which acts are more flexible or unattached? Why are they different? What makes them different?

So that's part one of this, yes?

And all of that is. A lot of thinking and a lot of ruminating, and by no means am I saying you have to sit down and get it all done tonight like it's homework due tomorrow - that's more a set of thoughts and ideas that you can start unpacking as they come to you? As you think of new things, you can play with those thoughts and unpack them, and compare them and contrast them to each other, and see how much actively thinking about and deconstructing them in your head changes your feelings about them - and how much your feelings stay the same.

No matter what thoughts come up as you go through this, no matter what biases you find you have, or thoughts you find that you don't agree with once you start examining them, that is okay. There is nothing wrong or bad about how you think or feel.

None of the above is intended to lecture you, none of the above is intended to make you feel bad or insecure or like you've done wrong by having different thoughts or feelings about the different genders of things.

You have not transgressed by holding a bias, or by thinking of a sex act as masc or fem rather than neutral, or anything similar.

You have not transgressed. You have not sinned. You have thought thought bad thoughts, and subsequently are a bad person, or a bad queer, or a bad trans person.

This business of unpacking and untangling gender and sexuality from specific sex acts, of ungendering things or adjusting our lenses of gender, is hard and difficult and complicated work. Many thousands of essays have been written on this subject by other queer people, by BIPOC, by disabled people, by trans people, by intersex people, by everyone who has not been written into the constructed white imperial gender binary and its associated ideals of sex (which themselves have been escalated and fine-tuned and commercialised because of capitalism and other forms of white cultural supremacy), because it is hard and difficult to do. Because these are things we all have to unlearn, which is difficult!

A lot of these feelings, when we start unpacking them, cause us pain and make us feel discomfort, nausea, dysphoria, shame, uncertainty, fear.

They make us feel that way because by our existence, we are transgressing - because we exist in the way that we do, outside of this constructed binary (and unwilling or unable to conform to it, or at least feign / perform conformity), we disrupt it and we break its rules and we twist it and we bend it. Simply by being, we do those things.

And then when we start to look inward and really start doing that work, it can feel insurmountable and impossible and agonising, because how are we to unpick a framework which we've been sewn into our whole lives? How can we unpick our threads from a tapestry when we're sewn into it with surgical thread?

It's not our fault. It's not your fault or my fault, it is not our partners' faults, it's not even our parents' fault or our teachers' fault or any individuals' fault.

But it's a process.

So. Coming away from the broader thought exercises and zeroing in on your personal feelings about your own body, your own gender, your own role during sex.

How do you feel more manly? How do you feel more confident? How do you get past that barrier and feel "ready" to top?

If you want to top while feeling in control...

Does your partner normally top you? What positions do they usually top you in? Are there any positions they top you in that make you feel more vulnerable in some way, more controlled by them, in a way that you enjoy? Do you think that using those positions, you would then feel more like you're in control?

Would you feel more confident, for example, topping doggy style rather than in missionary?

Have you considered fingering your partner first and penetrating them not while fucking them, but during some other activity? So, blowing them while also fingering them, or using toys on them? Using a vibrator or a dildo on them while giving them a handjob? Even watching them fuck themselves on a vibrator or dildo while you give instructions - so not touching them or moving them down on it, but they only move as instructed by you?

All of those are playing with you being in control and dominating while they're also being penetrated, but is not necessarily topping them while fucking them with your own cock - you can use them to ease yourself more into the mental role or more of the confidence of what you want, rather than plunging directly in (pun intended).

There's roleplay, where you could play out a specific fantasy or wear a particular costume or outfit or something similar, that lets you feel more or at your most manly and confident, so that it's easy to really lean into a butch persona if that doesn't normally come naturally to you?

If you think you'd be more confident topping while ceding some control, have you thought about different positions for that? For example, you lying back and your partner riding you, and easing themselves down onto you?

Or you topping them while they instruct you exactly how to move, or you're being guided by them, acting more in the service top area?

Another option is double-ended dildos! I'm not sure how comfortable you are bottoming or being penetrated, but if you do enjoy such things, a double-ended dildo means neither of you are topping, but you're both bottoming, and that can be somewhere interesting to start that's focused on the sensation and experience together.

All of the above you can then use to transition into topping your partner more the way you first envisioned, or first fantasied about.

Sorry that's a lot to chew on, Anon, but I hope it helps and I wish you love and luck! Like I said to the other guy that asked about topping, so much of this is like...

Because it's new and because you haven't done it before, it can feel like it's a huge and impossible thing, and then once you do do it, a lot of that mystique and that sense of infinity (infinite things that can go right, infinite things that can go wrong, infinite emotions one way or the other) fades away a bit!

[caffeinewitchcraft]

I’ll be starting to post my daily writing warm ups here in a week or so and just want to share what that’s going to look like first

1) for me, writing warm ups range from about 200-1500 words of incomplete stories or experiments specifically written to improve various aspects of my writing. Sometimes it will be technical, other times it will be about storytelling, other times it will be to untangle an idea that isn’t quite a story yet

2) These posts will be tagged “caffeine warms up” for those who’d like to block that daily post. Because many of them will be incomplete stories, I totally get not wanting to engage! All of my complete stories or chapters of stories will still be tagged “my writing”

3) the purpose is to both hold myself accountable for my daily practice (and isn’t posting to the internet the most accountable? Lol) and to show what I mean when I say “daily writing practice”

I do receive a lot of messages (that are very sweet!) from people who want to write like me or who would like advice on things they feel I do well in my stories. My answer these days is always “practice.”

The most common pieces of advice I see on Tumblr are to “read more often” and “exorcise your self doubt.” Those are both very important things to do, obviously, but I’ll go to my grave saying this:

Writing is a skill. Storytelling is a skill. Making them go together? That’s a skill.

And skills need practice.

There are a lot of valuable tips and tricks from writing blogs on this site. Practice them. I’ll be using a few of those posts as writing warmups as well

[phdguides]

7 important tips and advice every PhD student should know

PhD is considered the highest level of qualification and is not for the faint of heart. The difficulties and frustrations are real. You are constantly looking for motivation to keep up with your hectic schedule.

We understand your situation, and to assist you, we have compiled a list of seven essential tips and advice that will come in handy during your PhD journey.

These tips and advice are backed by scholars and industry experts based on their experience, and if you are in the early stages of your PhD, you will be astounded by the information.

So, without further ado, let’s get started:

Read a lot

Read, read, and read some more. This will be a very useful step in creating a research roadmap. Read as many research papers as you can on your chosen topic.

It will provide you with in-depth knowledge of your subject, what previous researchers have done, and how you can begin your own research. By reading other people’s work, you can learn what has already been done and avoid duplicating existing research.

Aside from reading old papers, remember to keep an eye out for new developments also in your field. All of this reading will help you gain a thorough understanding of your chosen subject.

Write more

When you’re reading this much, you should also be writing. Write down your progress, new discoveries, and any other important information you believe is relevant.

It is always preferable to begin writing as soon as possible. Because it will ultimately assist you in writing your thesis. Writing on a regular basis will help you hone your writing skills.

It may appear to be a daunting task, but with practice, you will notice that the quality of your research paper will improve and you will take less time to complete it.

You don’t have to write every day, but try to write at least three times a week, if not more.

Be positive

PhD research is a long and time-consuming process in which you must constantly work on finding new solutions in your field. As a result, if your research paper is not accepted or people do not support your idea, you may become demotivated.

However, keep in mind that these are all part of the process. You will not always be successful. So it’s okay if you don’t achieve your goals sometimes. Concentrate on the good things you have.

Divert your attention to topics that interest you, surround yourself with positive people, take short breaks, and engage in activities that you enjoy.

PhD may appear to be a difficult journey but believe in yourself because you will succeed and your efforts will be rewarded.

Don’t isolate yourself.

PhD candidates frequently become so engrossed in their work that they completely isolate themselves from the rest of the world. They worked hard all hours of the day and night, but the feeling of missing out never left them.

However, stressing yourself may harm your health, which is ultimately detrimental to your research. So take some time to unwind. Connect with others who share your interests and have a productive discussion about your topic.

It will provide you with new perspectives and allow you to connect with people in your field.

Do an internship

An internship can provide you with valuable insight and a deeper understanding of how research is conducted in other environments and what tools are used.

An internship can help you learn a lot. You can broaden your network with other researchers and learn a lot of details. It can be a fantastic way to gain a thorough understanding of your topic.

Reach out to people.

Building a network is critical regardless of what you do. A valuable network can provide you with endless possibilities. Don’t waste the opportunity to meet a lot of influential people and industry experts during your PhD.

Create a strong network for yourself. Reach out to people and have a good conversation with them. Make the most of your opportunity, as a worthwhile network can help you not only in your career but also in your life after your PhD.

Appreciate your small wins

Many students lose interest or productivity halfway through their PhD studies. It can happen because they have unrealistic expectations of themselves.

You don’t have to make the same mistakes in your PhD. Set attainable goals. Appreciate your small victories because they are also significant. You must accept the fact that you will not always be successful. You will have failures, but they will be temporary, and with consistency, you will be able to achieve your goals.

As a result, it is critical to keep yourself motivated and productive by focusing on your progress.

Conclusion

 Pursuing a PhD is a little challenging, but if you believe in yourself, you can achieve your doctorate dream.  The only thing that matters is that you need to stay consistent and focused. Read a lot and try every possible method to learn about new discoveries in your field. Take advice from experts in the field, and your fellow researchers and stay motivated.

https://phdguides.org/guides/

https://phdguides.org/7-important-tips-and-advice-every-phd-student-should-know/

[trans-axolotl]

Related to that last post. I've talked about this quite a few times before on this blog, but I think it's worth mentioning again.

Antipsychiatry does not mean that people do not have some sort of relationship with the current mental health system. Although I truly believe in psych abolition, until we build up enough alternatives, transform our community approaches to mental health, and provide enough resources that we can divest from the system, most mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people are going to engage with the mental health system in some way. Whether that's because we're institutionalized against our will, whether we have an outpatient therapist we love, whether we just see a psychiatrist so that we can get meds, all of those are very real ways of engaging with the system. And I think that even within the current ways the mental health system harms us, there are still individual times that we can gain help from certain people or places. Does this mean I think we should advocate for the system to continue to exist in the way that it does? Absolutely not. But does this mean I think we should share tips for how to navigate the system in the ways that causes the least harm for us, learn how to lie when necessary, do research and try to find the least shitty providers, and support all of our individual choices about how we want to engage with treatment? Absolutely!

It is the reality right now that things like peer respite, the Trieste model, mutual aid social therapy, drug decriminalization, are simply not accessible in most places. We need to do the work to make these things accessible, to abolish, transform, and replace the current system, but until then, many people who are psych survivors and involved in mad activism are also people who are going to need the tools to navigate the current system to get the most benefit and the least harm. And we should be supported both in our refusals to engage with treatment and with our desire to seek some types of treatment. I am interested in attacking the systems, not shaming individual people for the ways they choose to seek support. For example, I go to a fabulous outpatient therapist who is an abolitionist, but I refuse to take meds, and I have a very elaborate plan for if I'm forced into hospitalization again.

I just think it's so important to emphasize that while we cannot settle for the current system and must actively work to replace it, while it still exists, we deserve the tools to try to make engaging with it as painless an experience as possible. Any moments of healing we are able to find are valuable!

[bigmammallama5]

mammallama if you have energy how did you find your adhd dr? I know I could use one but I'm trying to fight the inertia of getting a dr because of all the experiences of previous medical professionals not listening to me. thank you for reading!

Hey, I've got a little energy! You get my one level seven spell slot for the day lol

I am very fortunate that I have a primary care doctor that takes my concerns seriously and pointed me in the direction of my current specialist. I also have two very wonderful best friends with ADHD who gently slid my wig back and told me "go get tested, you sound like me". I recognize not everyone is lucky to have doctors that listen to them so this answer will be based off of my limited experience and local healthcare in my state in America, so please keep these as general suggestions! And I know it's hard to advocate for your own health, trust me I get it lol, but please stick with it. It's worth it to get the answers at the very least so you can start adjusting.

So if you have a PCP try asking them for places that are in your insurance network that could help you get tested/write you a referral letter if needed. I would suggest first looking for a behavioral therapist that specializes in diagnosing ADHD (like mine does) and treatment. I can't get actual cognitive behavioral therapy from them but they help me keep track of my ADHD and navigate my medication stuff. The extra special thing about my doctor is she was also diagnosed as an adult, so she truly understands to a certain degree of what I'm dealing with. Looking at her during my first visit was like looking into the future of the person I can be with the right help. Having a doctor that has what you have is incredibly valuable.

If you can't find a specialist, I would suggest looking for a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD. You can also get diagnosed by a psychologist but I don't think they can actually prescribe medications? But either of those professionals will be able to test and diagnose you!

If you have trouble networking, my therapist suggested looking on Facebook (I know I know) for local/state groups that can help you connect with doctors in your area. You'd be surprised at how ready people are to help others find the care providers they need! You may not even have to ask, there may be a list of medical professionals that you can look over.

I will warn you that depending on where you go it's going to probably cost a fair amount. Even with my therapist's office taking my insurance my testing was still over 400 bucks, but in the end it was worth it for me. I will also warn you that some testing can be quite lengthy from what I hear, taking multiple sessions depending on the professional you're seeing. My testing and diagnoses took a little less than three hours and that's why I'd suggest looking for an ADHD behavioral therapist first. They know exactly what they're looking for and know you're there specifically for that test.

Another tip I can give you is frame your reason for testing as simply needing answers to improve your quality of life. Have that in writing. Don't even mention medication other than "I would explore that if you deem it a viable option for treatment." Getting medication right now is difficult if not downright impossible for some of us, so I would frame your needs on getting yourself picked up and put together. That's really what you need first anyways. Answers.

Be warned ADHD may also come with a side of fries (other general disabilities like OCD/OCD tendencies, anxiety, depression, ect ect that are often the result of untreated ADHD).

ADHD is legally considered a developmental disability and protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Know your rights!

In the meantime I always suggest taking a look through https://www.additudemag.com/ for information about symptoms and research and all that stuff. This is a trusted source that my therapist's office shares with all of their patients! The articles are kept up to date as new research is made available and is laid out in such a way that it's easy for people with ADHD to read and navigate. It's also a great source for parents that have kiddos with ADHD, so pass that around if you know someone who's struggling!

I do hope that your past experiences with poor doctors won't keep you from seeking testing. I can promise you not all of them are like that, and I hope you can find someone who will listen to you and take your concerns seriously!

[akashgh522]

New Business Marketing Tips and Tricks for Success

Starting a new business can be an exhilarating adventure, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges, especially in the competitive landscape of today's marketplace. To stand out and thrive, effective marketing is crucial. Here are four essential marketing tips and tricks to help your new business succeed:

Define Your Target Audience and Create Customer Personas:

One of the first steps in crafting a successful marketing strategy for your new business is to identify and understand your target audience. Who are your ideal customers, and what are their needs, preferences, and pain points? Creating customer personas can help you visualize and humanize your audience, making it easier to tailor your marketing efforts effectively.

Start by conducting market research to gather data about your potential customers. Analyze demographics, psychographics, and behavior patterns to create detailed customer personas. These personas should include information like age, gender, income, interests, and pain points.

Once you have a clear understanding of your target audience, customize your marketing messages and strategies to resonate with them. Craft compelling content, advertisements, and promotions that address their specific needs and desires. By speaking directly to your ideal customers, you'll increase the chances of building meaningful connections and driving conversions.

Leverage the Power of Digital Marketing:

In the digital age, online presence and digital marketing are indispensable for any new business. Here are some essential digital marketing strategies to consider:

a. Build a User-Friendly Website: Your website is often the first point of contact for potential customers. Ensure that it is well-designed, easy to navigate, and mobile-responsive. Optimize it for search engines (SEO) to improve your visibility in search results.

b. Content Marketing: Create valuable and relevant content that educates, entertains, or solves problems for your target audience. Blog posts, videos, infographics, and social media updates can all be part of your content marketing strategy.

c. Social Media Marketing: Identify the social media platforms where your audience is most active and engage with them there. Develop a content calendar and use a mix of organic and paid content to reach a wider audience.

d. Email Marketing: Build and nurture an email list to stay in touch with your customers. Send personalized and relevant content, offers, and updates to keep them engaged and informed.

e. Pay-Per-Click Advertising (PPC): Consider running targeted PPC campaigns on platforms like Google Ads and Facebook Ads to reach potential customers actively searching for your products or services.

Emphasize Customer Relationships and Engagement:

In a competitive market, building and maintaining strong customer relationships is vital. Consider these strategies to enhance customer engagement:

a. Provide Exceptional Customer Service: Respond promptly to inquiries and address customer concerns with care. Happy customers are more likely to become loyal advocates for your brand.

b. Personalization: Use customer data and segmentation to personalize your marketing messages and offers. People appreciate tailored experiences that cater to their unique preferences.

c. Encourage User-Generated Content: Encourage customers to share their experiences with your products or services on social media or review platforms. User-generated content can build trust and credibility.

d. Loyalty Programs: Reward repeat customers with loyalty programs, discounts, or exclusive access to new products or services. Loyalty programs can foster long-term relationships and increase customer retention.

Monitor, Analyze, and Adapt:

Marketing is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. To continually improve your strategies, track key performance indicators (KPIs) and adapt based on the data:

a. Use Analytics Tools: Employ tools like Google Analytics, social media insights, and email marketing metrics to monitor the performance of your marketing efforts.

b. A/B Testing: Experiment with different marketing approaches and compare their results through A/B testing. This allows you to refine your strategies over time.

c. Stay Informed: Keep up with industry trends, competitors, and evolving customer preferences. Stay open to adjusting your marketing plan as needed.

In conclusion, successful marketing for a new business involves understanding your audience, utilizing digital strategies, fostering customer relationships, and staying adaptable. By implementing these tips and tricks, your new business can navigate the competitive landscape and carve out its own path to success.

[smmediatechh]

In today’s digital world, social media has become an essential part of our daily lives. Whether you're sharing a photo with friends or following your favorite brands, social media platforms are everywhere. But did you know they are also powerful tools for businesses? That’s where social media marketing comes in.

What is Social Media Marketing?

Social media marketing is the use of social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn to promote your business, connect with your audience, and build your brand. It's about creating and sharing content that engages your audience and encourages them to interact with your business.

Why is Social Media Marketing Important?

Reach a larger audience: Billions of people are on social media. This means you can reach potential customers all over the world.

Boost brand awareness: Social media helps people get familiar with your brand, products, and services.

Engage with your audience: You can talk directly to your customers, answer questions, and get feedback.

Drive traffic to your website: By sharing content with links to your site, you can bring more visitors to your pages.

Cost-effective marketing: Many social media platforms offer free tools to promote your business. Paid ads are also affordable and can be targeted to the right audience.

Key Social Media Platforms for Marketing

Facebook: With over 2.8 billion users, Facebook is ideal for reaching a wide audience. Businesses can create pages, post updates, run ads, and engage with followers.

Instagram: Instagram is perfect for visually-driven brands. If your business relies on photos or videos, like fashion, food, or art, Instagram is a great choice.

Twitter: Twitter is useful for sharing quick updates, news, and engaging in conversations. It's also great for customer service interactions.

LinkedIn: If your business targets professionals or B2B clients, LinkedIn is the best platform. It’s excellent for networking and establishing industry authority.

TikTok: This platform is a must if you want to reach younger audiences with creative, fun, and short video content.

Tips for Effective Social Media Marketing

Know your audience: Who are your customers? What are their interests? Understanding your audience helps you create content that speaks to them.

Post consistently: Regularly posting helps keep your audience engaged and builds a strong online presence. Tools like Hootsuite or Buffer can help schedule posts.

Create valuable content: Your posts should be interesting, informative, or entertaining. Share tips, behind-the-scenes looks, or answer customer questions.

Use hashtags: Hashtags help people find your posts. For example, if you’re posting about social media marketing, use hashtags like #SocialMediaMarketing or #DigitalMarketing.

Engage with your followers: Reply to comments, like posts, and thank people for their support. Engaging with your audience builds trust and loyalty.

Analyze and adjust: Use analytics tools like Facebook Insights or Instagram Analytics to see what’s working and what’s not. Adjust your strategy based on the data.

Final Thoughts

Social media marketing is one of the most effective ways to grow your business in today’s digital landscape. By understanding your audience, consistently posting valuable content, and engaging with your followers, you can create a strong online presence and boost your brand. Start small, experiment with different platforms, and soon you’ll see the power of social media marketing in action!

[sakshichandel32]

Staying Safe 

Vacation Rental Security Tips 

We've all been there, you arrive at your vacation rental after a long day of travel, ready to relax and unwind. But as you step through the door, a nagging thought creeps in, "Is  this place really safe?" 

As someone who's had their fair share of vacation rental experiences (both good and bad), I've learned a thing or two about ensuring a secure stay. So, let's chat about how to make your next getaway both fun and safe. 

1. Do Your Homework 

Before you even click that "Book Now" button, take a few minutes. Read reviews from past guests, paying special attention to any comments about safety or security. A quick  Google search of the neighborhood can also give you a feel of the area.

 Pro tip: Look for rentals with recent reviews. A place that hasn't been reviewed in months might be a red flag. 

2. Communication is Key 

Once you've booked, don't be shy about reaching out to your host. Ask about security measures like locks, alarms, or security cameras. A good host will be happy to ease your concerns. 

3. Trust Your Gut 

When you arrive, take a moment to scope out the place. Does anything feel off? Are the locks sturdy? Is there adequate lighting in the corridors? If something doesn't sit right with you, don't ignore that feeling. 

4. Be Smart with Your Stuff 

I know, you’re on vacation and want to relax. But a little caution goes a long way. Use the safe if there is one, or get creative with hiding valuables. And please, don't leave your laptop sitting on the dining table when you head to the beach!

 5. Know Your Surroundings 

Take a stroll around the neighborhood during the day. Locate the nearest police station, hospital, and pharmacy. It's like having a mental safety net - hopefully, you won't need it, but it's comforting to have. 

6. Stay Connected 

Make sure your phone is always charged and you have a way to contact your host or local emergency services. Consider downloading offline maps of the area in case you lose signal. 

7. Fire Safety Matters

This one's often overlooked, but it's crucial. Locate fire extinguishers and check that smoke detectors are working. Know your escape routes, it takes just a minute but could be a lifesaver. 

8. Lock Up, Even When You're Inside 

It's easy to get complacent, especially if you're staying somewhere that feels safe. But make locking doors and windows a habit, even when you're just stepping out for a quick coffee run. 

9. Don't Advertise Your Tourist Status 

Try to blend in a bit. Avoid walking around with a map or leaving your car packed with visible luggage. A little discretion can go a long way in not making yourself a target. 

10. Trust Your Host (to a Point) 

While most hosts are wonderful people, remember that you're still dealing with strangers. Be polite but cautious, and don't share more personal information than necessary. 

Remember, the goal isn't to be paranoid - it's to be prepared.  

11. Use Platform Safety Features 

Many vacation rental platforms, including TO LET GLOBE, offer built-in safety features.  For example, they might have verified listings, secure payment systems, or 24/7  customer support. Take advantage of these features for added peace of mind. With these tips in mind, you can focus on what really matters, making awesome memories on your vacation! 

So, fellow travellers, what are your go-to safety tips for vacation rentals? Drop a comment below and let's keep each other safe out there! 

Happy (and secure) travels!