#and all the songs fading into each other is just *chef’s kiss*
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ok but folie à deux is such an underrated album. makes me want to beat up men and wear over-the-top winged eyeliner and leather jackets and skinny jeans and drive entirely too fast down desolate roads late at night. genuinely my favorite fall out boy album, 10/10.
#and yes i personally like it better than so much (for) stardust#despite the fact that sm(f)s has a much better production quality by virtue of it being made in 2023 and presumably given more money#also some of the bass lines??? like on she’s my winona??? DUDE#and all the songs fading into each other is just *chef’s kiss*#gooze’z zhitpoztz#fall out boy#fob#folie a deux#folie à deux#it also has one of my favorite fob lyrics ever:#“head like a steel trap / wish i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i DONT”#entirely too many ‘didnt’s. 10/10.
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I’ll be back || CHOI SAN
Synopsis: You don’t understand what happened for him to suddenly disappear. You don’t understand why the police tells you there is no one by the name of Choi San— as if he never existed. You don’t understand why he came back to you, five years later.
WARNINGS: one shot, cursing, crying (lots), ANGST (my fav), fluff, happy ending, SMUT, rough sex, choking, pet name of baby to Y/N, drinking, drunkenness, throwing things, San was affiliated with a gang, Y/N owns a gun, oral (f receiving), mentions of San’s gruesome crimes, back and forth between Y/N and San (ish), Y/N take San back way too easily (lmao), throwing up (only once), I’m sure I’m missing some stuff just lmk. Stay tuned for a POV of San coming soon :)
Word Count: 12k Started: February 2024. Finished: Nov 29, 2024
Blossom’s Note: Hello my petals, hope all is good. Coming at you with a Choi San one shot. Title was inspired by 2pm’s I’ll be back (chefs kiss song). Story was inspired by both the song and the line in John Wick when the father told the son that in order for him to get out, he had to do the impossible. Please keep in mind that this is no where near the same as the movie nor will any killings be mentioned. Now grab some popcorn and a drink and enjoy!
PAST
Silence takes over the room while the distant, muffled voices of your neighbors outside your apartment speak amongst themselves in the hallway, radiating some noise in the room. Dogs in different apartments barked at them, alerting everyone in the complex that people are walking by. Soon the faint sounds of keys jiggling can be heard as they stepped into their respective home and then—complete silence.
The room was dimly lit by your lamp with a fading bulb on its last life—that you always forget to change. You laid on your stomach, resting your head on your arms that was propped on top of your cushioned pillow as you slowly kicked your legs up and down, staring into his eyes as if you were locked in a trance by his gaze.
His fingers traced caressing patterns on your back, making you bit your lower lip gently as you felt the goosebumps form on your skin. He was lying on his side, his hand propped up to hold his head as he other hand roamed your back lovingly.
He gives you a small smirk, nodding his head to signal you to get on top of him. “Come here.” He said in a low voice as he laid on his back, placing an arm behind his head to get a good view of you on top. His favorite view.
You felt giddy inside, smiling as you got up. You quickly threw a leg over, straddling him. He wasted no time in gliding his free hand from your thigh to your ass giving it a slight squeeze. You placed your hands on his chest for support to which he slide the same hand up your arm and cups the side of your face.
You two stare into each other, all mesmerized as he caressed your cheek with his thumb causing you to lean into his touch. You closed your eyes, feeling the comforting warmth of his hand radiating on your cheek.
“You’re so beautiful.” He said in a sweet voice. You opened your eyes to catch him already looking into your eyes. “I could stay in this moment forever,” he said watching you slightly turn to the side as you kissed his palm. His hand moves to the back of your neck, pulling you toward him as you ghost your lips over his, “Just you and me.”
Oh, the way your stomach flips at his words especially when he talks in a low tone. He removes the hand behind his head, placing both of them under your shirt wanting to feel your skin, scrunching up your oversized shirt a little bit from his caressing movements.
You hummed in agreement, “Just you and me.” You repeated, pecking his lips once, “Forever.” You said before leaning back down to capture his lips. You feel his strong arms wrap around your waist, wanting to feel you closer—if that was even possible.
You moan slightly into his mouth, feeling the kiss starting to pick up. He cups your ass, giving it a nice squeeze as you raised your hand up to his hair tugging slightly making him moan in delight. Just as this moment was starting to heat up and get spicy—“Let’s runaway.” He breaks the kiss.
You looked at him, he was panting slightly trying to catch his breath as his eyes gleamed a bit. You panted as you sat up, tilting your head to the side, “What?” You asked with a playful smile on your lips as you furrowed your eyebrows.
Did he really leave you hot and bothered to say some stupid shit? Leave it to San to cockblock the fuck out of the both of you with his random thoughts.
He sits up, adjusting himself underneath you as he wraps his arms around your waist again as your hands make home in his hair as you caressed it. “You heard me,” he said, “let’s runaway. Just you and me, mm? What do you think?” He said ask he peppered kissed on your neck.
You chuckled at his words, tilting your head more as he kept leaving kisses on your neck down to your collarbone, “what I think is that you’re dumb. Did you really stop us for that?” You laughed, reaching to cup his face as you looked down at him. He nodded, “I’m being serious!” He pouted at you.
You sighed. “Okay. Say we were to,” you say playing along with his idea,“where would we go?” You asked him, leaning down to kiss away his pout.
He looks back and forth between your eyes, smirking as he flips you onto your back causing you yelp in surprise. “Anywhere you want to go,” he grabs your legs, wanting to feel them wrapped around him, “Whatever you want,” He says leaning down to kiss you on your lips. “I’ll do it for you.” His kisses trail down to your jaw. “Anything you want.” Down your neck as he caressed your leg.
You licked your lips and slightly moan at the sensation. “Mmm, anything?” You asked him raising an eyebrow as you tilt your head to look at him. “Anything, baby.” He looked up from the crook of your neck.
You shook your head, “You’re so silly. You know we can’t do that.” You smiled at him but then turned serious, “Plus can you even afford me? I’m quite expensive.” You lifted your hand up, examining your nails acting all snobby like turning your head to the side.
He pauses for a second, sitting up. He scoffs, “Excuse me?” Hand on his chest feigning to be offended.
You looked at him and eyed him up and down, playfully judging him and shrugged, “I have expensive taste and demands that need to met.” You said crossing your arms.
“Hit me with whatever you want. I can afford it.” He extends his arms out to the side as if saying do-you-know-who-the-fuck-I-am.
You scoffed, eyeing him up and down, “I don’t want to work.”
“Done.”
“I want to be a housewife.”
“Done.”
“I want different color Lamborghinis to match my moods for the day.”
“Done.”
“I want a private chef. I want to be carried everywhere.”
“Done and done.”
You two stayed silent, looking at each other with a serious look before bursting into laughter. The laughter you two created sounded like the most beautiful music to your ears. You loved having these silly moments with him.
While the laughter subsided, San places his hands on each side of your head, leaning forward. ”Y/N,” He says, your hands slide up and down his muscular arms. “Let’s just do it, huh? We can go and get married,” He places a kiss on your lips, tucking some of your hair behind your ear, “we can have six kids-“
“Six?! The fuc-“ you cut him off with widen eyes, raising both of your eyebrows.
“They will have your sparkling eyes, your beautiful smile,” he cuts you off, ignoring you which caused you to roll your eyes, “they can have my nose, maybe my eyebrows or ears. We can raise them the best we can, we can put them sports, watch them get married, travel when they all leave the house, be the best grandparents ever-“ he cuts himself off as he clears his throat, feeling a bit saddened, but you’re too distracted by his story to catch onto it. “We can grow old together and be buried next to each other. With that, we stay together forever.”
You cup his cheek, “Seems like you got this all figured out, huh?” You smiled at him. “How did a girl like me get so lucky?”
“Oh, baby,” he said in a matter of factly tone, “With me you won’t have to think or worry about anything.” He smirked at you, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on it.
There was a moment of silence as you two looked into each other’s eyes all in love. But then San got off of you which made you confused as you furrowed your eyebrows. “San? What are you doing?” You asked him, confused by his actions as his back faces you.
You sit up and sat in the middle of the bed, about to reach out of him but took your hand back abruptly when you saw San turning around and giving you a serious look. He suddenly gets down on one knee. “Y/N,” he said in a serious tone, causing you to cover your face as you fell back laughing, “San, what are you doing?” You asked him as you sat back up with a huge shock smile on your face.
“Y/N,” he repeats again. He inhales and exhales, closing his eyes before looking back into your eyes. “Baby the second my eyes laid on you, my heart knew that you were the one I wanted to spend forever with. I want to wake up and have your eyes be the first thing and the last thing I see. There aren’t enough words to describe the love I have for you.”
You feel yourself getting teary eyed as you scoff out a smile, not believing that he is doing this. “I know, I don’t have a ring right now, but trust me when I say that when I do get it, it will have the biggest gem that represents the immense love I have for you.” He said watching you sniff up your tears. “Will you marry me? Because I don’t want to do life without you.”
You gasped at his words, crying for a few moments before sniffing up your runny nose as you used the back of your hand to wipe your falling tears, “San,” your voice cracks out, as you placed a hand on your chest. “Yes!” You breathed out a smile, “Yes, I will marry you.”
He finally exhales a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Yes?” He asks you as he broke out into the biggest smile ever and you nodded quickly, “Yes, San, yes.” You repeated as he helped you stand up.
He picked up, you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist as he spins you both around in his arms. You leaned your forehead against his, “You scared me,” he said, “What took you so long in answering!”
You kissed his pout, “I’m sorry,” you laughed, “I had to make sure. You know I’m expensive.” You joked.
He gives you a deadpan look, “Really?” He said in a monotone voice causing you to burst out into laughter as you leaned your forehead against his again, cupping his face, “No, my idiot. I just couldn’t believe this was happening. I’m going to marry my soulmate. I’ve never been more sure in my life.”
“You’re the one for me,” he said looking into your eyes. If you weren’t so high from the moment, you could’ve sworn there was sadness in his eyes. “I just- I don’t want to wait anymore.” He cleared his throat, “You’re the one for me, Y/N.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he repeated himself.
After a minute, he clears his throat, “Now,” he says as he tosses you on the bed causing you to yell in shock as you sit up and give him a glare. He takes off his shirt and throws it somewhere behind him as he spreads your legs, ignoring the pissed off look you have with a smirk on his face, “Should we start with baby number one? Or will we get lucky and have triplets first round?”
“San-“ he cuts you with the smirk still etched on his face as he kissed you. He knew damn well you were gonna bring up the topic of six kids, but that’s for another time. Right now, he wants to cherish this moment with you. Just one last time.
You hated how easily he captivated you and how easy he had you under his finger. Without trying to break contact with you, his hand struggles to turn off the light as he taps everything but the switch. He groans in frustration as he sits up and slams the stupid button off causing you to laugh at his impatience. Finally, the light was off.
As he leans back down kissing you, he is mentally tattooing everything about you throughout the night—your lips, your melodic sounds, your breathing, your heartbeat, your gentle and rough touches, your curves— Just everything before it was time.
—
It was late at night as San stood near the bed, watching you sleep. He was dressed in all black, prepared to leave but not before he says goodbye to you. The sheer curtains let the moonlight seep in, casting on your face. The light snores you made were music to his ears. It cause him to gently chuckle bittersweetly as tears blurred his vision.
He remembered all the times you argued with him saying that he was liar, telling him that you don’t snore. It hurt knowing this would be last time hearing them— last time seeing you.
He slowly and gently takes steps to you, leaning down as he removes a few strand of hair from your face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispers to you, “I have to go.” He kisses your forehead gently, “I love you so, so much.”
He stiffed up a bit when he saw you stirring in your sleep but exhaled in relief when you stopped and went back to your light snores. He glanced at the clock on your night stand and read 3:00AM. It’s about that time. He looks down as he felt his tears coming in, “Please forgive me.” He pleads quietly, sniffing as he looks at you. “I’ll be back.”
One last kiss on the forehead and he slowly gets up and walks to the door. And just like a switch, he walked down the hall, sniffing up those tears as he moved his head side to side, cracking his neck as a more serious, deadly look appeared on his face as he disappeared from the apartment and into the night.
—
Ugh, you really have to change those sheer curtains that blocks absolutely nothing because right now the morning sun was shinning right in your eyes, stirring you awake. You leaned on your back, one arm covering your eyes while the other reached out to touch San but was met with a cold, empty side.
Eyes still covered, you moved your hand around to try and find his body but let’s be real, this was no California King size bed. Either he fell off the bed or simply, he isn’t here. You removed your arm from your eyes and turned to the side and confirmed that he wasn’t there.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you slowly sat up, bringing the blanket to cover your bare chest. “San?” You called out to him. Maybe he’s in the living room. You waited for a response but nothing.
You sighed as you removed the blanket off your body, shivering slightly from cool air as goosebumps formed on your skin. Maybe he didn’t hear me. You grabbed your shirt from off the floor, putting it on as you walked to the living room. “Sannie?” But you were met with an empty living room—an empty apartment.
You removed your tucked hair from your shirt as you pursed your lips, crossing your arms, “This man is going to be the death of me.” You didn’t think much of it—well, kind of— San does this all the time. Whether it was for work or hanging out with friends— whatever it may be, it was normal for him to do. Yes, you have gotten into multiple arguments over it. Yes, he says he will try. But there are times that he forgets to tell you—like today.
You walked back into the room grabbing your phone, unplugging it from the charger as you tapped on the screen but no notifications. “Really?” You sucked the back of your front teeth, feeling annoyed as you shook your head. You unlocked your phone and dialed his number, running a hand through your hair as you hear the dialing tone.
“The number you have dialed-“ you sighed in annoyance as you hung up the call, opening your messages. ‘Thanks for letting me know that you were leaving :)’ and a ‘call me when you can. Love you asshole.” You sent to him, but it came back as message failed. Great, now his phone died.
You threw your phone on bed, “Whatever.” You say as you walked out the room and headed to the bathroom as you started to get ready for the day. Another great thing about San is that he is not the most dependable with his phone. His phone is either dead or lost between the sofa cushions. He truly can’t pick a struggle.
But you know what, at the end of the day you love him and all his aggravating faults, no matter how many times you want to strangle him. That’s your fiancé. Indeed it is. And it has you smiling like an idiot as you brushed your teeth, looking at your reflection. You guess you’ll keep him.
—
As the day went on, it was still radio silent on San’s part. You kept checking, calling, texting but it was to no avail. San may be dumb when it comes to how he handles his phone and where he’s going and whatnot but he never fails to call you and let you know where he’s at or how he’s doing—even if that means calling from a strangers phone. Yes, you were confused that one time a random ass number kept calling you.
You couldn’t help but get this feeling that something is wrong, so here you are pulling up to his job and checking to see if he’s there. You parked and inhaled and exhaled, keeping the nerves at bay as you grabbed your things and headed out of your car.
‘The Tire Shop’ came into view as you made your way to the door. Maybe he’s busy and you’ll forgive him for now and yell at him later. As soon as you opened the door, you winced a bit at the car drill radiating throughout the shop as you looked at the men working on cars.
You watched as a man passed by you, rolling at tire to a car he’s fixing on, having the smell of oil and sweat fill up your nostrils. You gripped your purse strap as you looked around to spot if San was talking with someone or working on a car but nothing.
You were too caught up scanning for San that you didn’t even notice an older gentleman approaching you. “Ma’am?” He calls to your attention as he wipes his hands on a dirty rag, removing excess grease. “Anything I can help you with?”
“Oh, sorry,” you chucked nervously, stepping a bit closer to him. “Yes. I’m looking for someone. Is San working today? Did he come in?” You asked.
He tilted his head to the side, giving you his ear as he gets a bit closer to you as the drill goes off again, “I’m sorry. Who?” He yelled through the sound, eyebrows furrowed.
“San. Choi San.” You repeated a bit louder, leaning in slightly to his ear. “H-Have you seen him?” You stuttered a bit, feeling nervous.
“Choi San?” He repeated with confusion in his tone, tilting his head in confusion. “I’m sorry but nobody of that name works here.” He said shaking his head, tucking in the dirty rang in his back pocket.
You froze, feeling your blood go cold. You let out a nervous laugh, “That’s impossible,” you said reaching into your purse and showing your lock screen. “He’s been working here for five years.” The man squints his eyes, adjusting his poor vision to see the photo of San. “Are you sure?” You asked him in disbelief.
He nods his head. “I’m sure, ma’am.” But seeing the desperation in your face, he sighs turning around to yell out to one of his coworker. The coworker stops and gives him a stank face of what-do-you-want? The man asks him if he’s heard of a Choi San working here but the coworker just shook his head, getting back to work.
“Well, there you have it. Is there anything else I can help you with today?” The gentleman asked you as your heart dropped.
—
You slammed that door open as you rushed out, fumbling with your car keys in hand as you made your way to the car. You slammed your car door shut as you gripped onto the steering wheel, “What the fuck is going on?” You asked yourself, with a shaky breath, hearing a high pitch ringing in your ears.
You looked at your purse that was still clinging onto your arm. You quickly opened it, rummaging through it as you searched for your phone, messing up password multiple times as you rushed to unlock it making you groan in frustration.
“Come on come on.” You whispered to yourself as you dialed his number waiting for him to pick up but it went straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” You screamed out as you threw your phone on the dashboard.
You leaned your face into your hands, feeling anger and confusion swimming in your mind. Are you going insane? What the fuck does this man mean that he’s never heard of a Choi San? You start to get flashbacks of when you dropped him off, him literally coming out of the shop, having lunch with him right outside on the benches— Just what in the fuck is going on?
Fuck this. You backed out and drove to the police station. You knew San like that back of your hand. From small details such as calling or texting, even if he doesn’t do it in the moment, he NEVER forgets. And now you’re being told that he has never worked there? For the past five years? Bullshit. Something bad is happening and you sure as hell aren’t going to waste anymore time.
—
You were spaced out thinking about the whereabouts of San as you sat in-front of a desk, waiting for an officer. You gnawed on your lower lip, bouncing your leg rapidly from the nerves. “Miss Y/N?” Your head snapped to the side to see a female officer approaching you with a comforting smile and water.
You stood up and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Officer Lee.” She gestures to the seat you were in, “Please, sit.” She places the cup in front of you, mumbling a thank you to her as you took a sip of water.
“Thank you so much for meeting with me.” You tell her as you adjust yourself in the seat. “I just didn’t know what else to do and I just- I don’t-“ you felt overwhelmed, losing your words.
She reaches over the table and places a comforting hand on yours. “It’s okay. You did the right thing by coming here.” She smiles once more, removing her hand to grab a pen and opening her notepad. “Why don’t we break down your day today. From when you woke up to now.”
You nodded as you inhaled and exhale. You quickly got to work. You told her how you woke up and he wasn’t home, how he’s basically irresponsible with his phone, how his job all of a sudden tells you that he doesn’t work there. You also mentioned every single detail of San. From his hair to physique, his full name, date of birth, no family, all of his habits, photos of him—you didn’t even forget to mention how just last night he proposed to you.
Throughout this Officer Lee was jotting down everything you told her, asking some questions to expand on certain things. “And that’s everything I know.” You sighed in exhaustion, sniffing as you wiped some tears with tissue paper.
“It was perfect. You gave us all information possible to make this a clear and proper search.” She nodded as you as she closes her notepad and placing her pen down. “I know this is tough for you, but I can assure you that we will do our best to figure out what happened.”
You faced down with your eyes closed. “What if I’m being dramatic? But at the same time what if something happened to him? I just don’t know-“
“Listen to me,” She cuts you off. “You know San better than anyone. If you feel that something is off then something must be off, okay? Plus, one doesn’t suddenly not work at a place he’s been at for five years.” You sniffed and nodded at her.
She stands up, which causes you to also stand up, adjusting your purse on your shoulder. “In the meantime, go home and continue with your regular routine. I know it’s easier said than done, but please try. We will handle the rest and keep you updated.”
You nodded and shook her hand once more. “Thank you so much Officer Lee.” You tell her. “I very much appreciate it.” And with that you made your way out the station, pushing the door as you stepped out into the breezy night. You entered your car and leaned your head back, feeling a sob coming out once more. Where did you go, San?
—
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months since you last saw San. Every single day you call the police to get an update but it was the same fucking vague answers. It’s as if they rehearsed the same lines over and over just for you. You felt as if you were past the point of insanity.
All you just want to know is if San was alive or not. You just want to know if there was a single trace of him anywhere in this damn world— just something. All you just wanted a peace of mind.
Here you go again, on the phone with Officer Lee, who quite literally has the patience of an angel with the way you be calling everyday—some days with more attitude than usual. “Miss Y/N, as I have said before,” she sighed, “I don’t have anything. I will call you when-“
“When you have an update.” You finished the sentence with her. Today, you just so happen to have that attitude. “I know. I just-“ you cut yourself off as you sighed and rubbed your forehead, walking back and forth in your living room.
“I just want to know if you found anything. Even is that anything is so small, I don’t care. Just anything please.” You begged her. “Like why would he lie to me for the past five years about his job? Why would he propose to me and envision this life with me only for him to leave?” You asked her on the verge of tears, exhaling a shaky breath.
These are all the same questions you’ve been asking her for months. You sound like a broken record at this point, but what can you do? You never thought this would happen to you. Deep down you know the only one who can truly answer this was Choi San.
Officer Lee rubs her forehead, staying silent as she listens to you. She too feels heartbroken for you. “I’m sorry.” You whimpered out, sniffing. “I’m just desperate. I feel like I’m going insane. It’s been months and there’s no update. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.” You vented to her, feeling your heart slowly break apart.
There was a long, long pause on the phone as you cried. Just as soon as you were going to ask if she was still there— she spoke. “Y/N, listen to me and listen closely because this will be the only time I will be mentioning this.” Officer Lee looks at her surroundings and figures there’s too many people so she heads to a vacant stairway.
You froze at her words. Her tone sounded completely different. “I’m not allowed to speak about this, but I can’t keep letting you live like this.” You froze at her words, “There is no record of Choi San.”
You opened your mouth but no words came out feeling completely confused as you shook your head in confusion. “A few months back, I was able to find something on him. Just a small trace of his location. He was seen walking around town, nothing too suspicious. But,” she pauses. You feel your heartbeat in your throat, “the following day when I went to check the video surveillance once more, it was gone. Wiped off. When I went to search him up, it said that there was no record of Choi San.“ She said. “It’s as if he never existed.”
Your heart dropped, you felt the room spinning. “Wh-What?” You managed to let out, “As if he ever existed?” You repeated her words in disbelief. “What? Why would anyone do that? Why would that even happen?”
Officer Lee looks up the stairs to check if anyone was coming and below before leaning her back on the wall. “Can I tell you something?” She whispered into the phone. She can sense the overwhelming feeling of hurt and confusion.
You closed your eyes, feeling tears falling down your face. You bit your lips, nodding even though she couldn’t see you. “Yes?” You answered quietly, feeling your fear taking over.
“As someone who has been working in this industry for a long time, it can only mean one thing,” she says, “this man was involved in something very dangerous.” You felt your knees give up as you held onto the sofa. “Whoever this Choi San is, he disappeared for a reason.”
“Who is he? What has been done?” You asked frantically, feeling the hairs stand behind your neck. Who did I lie in bed with?
She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She sounded defeated. Truthfully, she did not know. She knew that this was not the first time someone has just up and disappeared off the Earth. She knows that there are some evil deals made behind closed doors with the police department.
“Why would he do to me then? What am I supposed to do?” You asked her choking out a sob as you angrily wiped that tears off your face.
“If I were you, I would leave.” She said serious. You were taken aback. “Y/N, you don’t know this man. He is not the man you thought you knew. Trust me. Please. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”
You felt numb at this point. What else can come in and ruin your life at this point? “I will call you if I have find something. Until then, please take care of yourself.” And with that you heard the hang up tone, leaving you alone once again.
You stood there in silence, dropping your arm down along with the phone. The sound of the phone hitting the floor rang in your ears. San? Dangerous? No. It can’t be. All of these thoughts rapidly came at you at once, making it seem like a million of voices are in your head.
Soon everything just went blank and something within you snapped. You went to the fireplace and hand swipe everything off the counter, screaming in anger. You cried in misery as you grabbed a picture frame and chucked it to the wall, watching the glass shatter at the impact.
You swiped everything off your dining table, flipping the table in frustration. His absence only worsen the betrayal you felt within your fucking bones. You stood in the middle of the living room starting to laugh. Laughing hysterically as tears dwelled in your eyes.
Everything you knew for the past five years was a lie. A waste of time. Your laughter subsided to agony as you fell to your knees, unable to control this painful heartache. You sobbed uncontrollably as you clutched onto your chest wanting to take this unbearable pain out of your heart.
Fucking San? A dangerous man? The same idiot who was afraid of flipping food over because he was afraid of the hot oil? The same idiot who would drink water from his hands because he was lazy to get a cup? The same idiot who wanted to raise a family with you? No. This can’t be happening.
You leaned forward, placing your hands on the floor as you leaned on them for support as your body shook from your cries. It hits you in that moment if he knew what he was asking when he asked you to runaway. All that you envisioned is gone, just like him.
—
It’s later in the night, and you’re in your kitchen drunkenly stumbling on your tippy toes as you kept your balance to reach into the top cabinet for yet another wine bottle. You finally reached it, popping open the bottle and pouring more in your glass. You take a sip as you close your eyes, feeling this temporary relief soak up in you.
You grabbed the bottle and turned to face the living room, eying the mess you created earlier. You’ll deal with it later, you thought to yourself as you took another sip, walking through the mess as you headed straight to your room.
You sat on your floor staring into the open closet with swollen, bloodshot eyes. You took a sip feeling your eyelids getting heavy from the crying and the alcohol. You placed the cup down, grabbing the bottle and poured some more wine without taking your sight off his side the closet.
Judging from how you heard the cup filling up to the brim, you stopped and placed the bottle down. You sighed as you licked your lips. Well, might as well start moving his shit out. You drunkenly got on your knees and crawled to the closet and sat on your knees.
You reached up and yanked off one of his shirts from the hanger, watch it swing from the harsh pull. You brought the material up to your nose, inhaling it. Though your nose maybe be stuffy from the crying, his scent was so strong. You bring it up to your cheek, wishing it was his touch— his warmth.
You opened your eyes to a blurred vision. No, no tears right now. You turned around and reached to grab your drink and took a few sips before placing it back down. You slowly stood up, feeling the liquor rushing down your legs as it controls your movements. Let’s start with something different.
You reached out to the top of the closet shelve, getting on your tippy toes and grabbed a stack full of boxes and miscellaneous things. But with your wobbly drunken self, and horrible grip, you ended up dropping it on the floor, causing you to yelp out as you moved back.
You opened your eyes and looked down to see that you spilled your drink and broken the glass, “Oh, great.” You pursed your lips, “Glad to see that I’m not the only one broken.” You say, making a half-assed joke. You sighed as you got on your knees and collected some of the big pieces. Thankfully your floor is carpet, all you have to do is wet-vac it.
You started to dry off some of his things but was stopped when you saw a black briefcase with a gold lock embedded on it. “What is this?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you grabbed it and used your hands to take off some of the wine droplets.
You sat comfortable and brought it the case closer for you to examine the lock. It was a four digit code. You grabbed your wine bottle, taking a big swig of it before you went to work on this lock. You bit your lower lip in concentration as you tried multiple combinations.
Shit, you even did the good ole 1, 2, 3, 4. Now listen, in your defense, while on one hand you can kill San, or whoever that man is right now, you always laughed at him for having the most basic password ever—to which he would get offended each time. So you couldn’t help but try it out at least one time.
But, man, you were stumped. Plus it doesn’t help that you were drunk so give yourself some slack. You take a sip and groaned out loud, “What could it even be..” you thought out. You then gasp as you quickly grabbed the case and placed in those four digits. Your birthday. And with that, it clicks open.
You scoffed out a smile, “Really?” Of course he would. “Stop it.” You scolded yourself, shaking your head at yourself. You exhaled, trying to calm the nerves. You slowly opened it, eyes widening at the sight of documents. But these weren’t just regular documents— these were gang afflicted documents.
Your drunken eyes roaming all over, you grabbed the papers out and stacked them, pushing the briefcase to the side. You then start to spread out the documents in front of you, eyes widening as they captured specific words.
You get on your knees as you further spread them out. You then fall back on your knees and parted your mouth in shock at the view in front of you. These documents were filled with gruesome attacks of people, some described chilling events that took place, plans of ambushes, details reports of deaths— you felt sick. What you take notice is that whoever wrote all of this, must’ve been so numb to the brutal killings that were executed.
You then notice a familiar signature at the bottom of the paper. “Oh my god..” you cover your mouth in shock. It was his signature. He did this. You dropped the paper and picked up the previous papers to only confirm what you had in mind. All of them had his signature. He did all of this.
You then turn to the side and saw orange envelope that was filled with what you could imagine more information. You grabbed it and opened it, but dropped it as you turned to the side feeling as if you were going to throw up. You coughed as you felt your throat closing up as you leaned on your hands for support as you hunched over.
“Oh, what the fuck!” You coughed out. Never in your life did you expect to see most nastiest, gruesome photos of bodies. You laid in bed with a freaking monster. You ran a hand through your hair as you looked back the photos you dropped.
You panted heavy as you picked a photo with San standing in the center as men surrounded him all shirtless. You looked closely and saw a snake tattoo that started on their ribs and to their chest. You then had a memory come in when you asked San about his tattoo but he shook his head saying it was nothing, how he thought it was cool when he was younger.
The look casted on San’s face was a rough looking demeanor that contradicts the San you knew—but then again everything did. You dropped your hand with the photograph still in your grasp as you spaced out for a second trying to process everything.
Officer Lee was right. You just didn’t want to believe it. You looked down as took in the gruesome that were spread out. You saw all the violence San created—all the blood, guts, chopped off body parts, one with San smiling over a body. You couldn’t contain it anymore and struggled your way to the bathroom, having the walls be your support as you made it to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.
You can’t believe what your life has become.
—
PRESENT TIME, 5 YEARS LATER
"Alright, my little munchkins," Your voice full of warmness, "It's almost time to go home, let's start cleaning up!" You say to your first grade students as they in unison yelled out "Okay!" You heard the little chairs squeak against the floor as they got up preparing to leave.
They chatted amongst themselves as they worked together. You moved through the room, helping and guiding them when they had questions on where certain things go. As years have passed, you slowly rebuilt your life. You took joy in being a Pre-K teacher. The laughter and smiles from the kids help shed some light in the darkness that was roaming around you.
The kids eagerly grabbed their backpacks and jacket, helping some as you made some jokes with them causing them to giggle. They were filled with excitement knowing it was time to go home as they bounced in a file line by the door. You opened the doors seeing parents waiting outside.
One by one you watched as they left, the crowd of students getting smaller and smaller. You sighed as you closed your classroom door, stretching your neck. You organized the classroom some more, pushing in chairs, sweeping the floor, collecting left over materials and putting them in their respective place.
Finally, time to go home and shower the day off. You grabbed your purse, turned off the light and headed out the room. You lock your class room door and sighed as you take your hair out of the tight ponytail, running a hand through it.
For some reason you felt someone looking at you which made you look across the street to see a man all dressed in black standing still as he looked at you. You slowly subsided your steps, looking at this figure but with the sun and tall silver fence that wrapped around the school, it was hard to adjust on the face.
You watched as they slowly walked away, your gaze never leaving them until they are fully gone from your view. Well, that was fucking weird, you thought to yourself as you picked up the pace to your car, looking behind you every few seconds.
—
For five years you have done all that you could to forget Choi San and started anew. You blocked out everything you two shared. The memories, the empty promises, the relationship you two had—everything. You packed up your shit, got rid of everything that was San’s, and moved states. You changed your number, email, deleted any form of social media and accounts— you name it and it was gone.
To say you weren’t terrified would be a bold ass lie. You were petrified of the things San has done. Most importantly, what he could do to you. You were scared of him finding you. When you feel yourself slipping up, yearning for his love or him, you remind yourself of the deadly things this man did. He has no right to stay in your heart.
But we digressed. You slide the shower curtain open causing the steam to swirl around from your sudden movement. You bring your hair to the side, wringing out the excess water, and then slowly stepped of the tub carefully to not lose your balance. You dragged the towel off the rack and pat your self dry before wrapping it around you.
Tucking the excess at the top to make sure the towel doesn’t fall, you walked to your mirror and hand wiped the fog off. You started off with your nightly routine, wanting to just go to bed from all the exhaustion you had today. But just then as you spat out your toothpaste, you heard a faint creaking of wood in your living room.
You looked at the door and froze, feeling your heart quicken a bit at the sound. Maybe it was the upstairs neighbors. You shook your head as you opened the faucet and wiped the corners of your mouth. Maybe I just made the sound up.
But then the creaking noise comes back. You turned off the faucet, gently placing your ear and hands against the door, waiting for it once more. It’s silent—but you aren’t taking any chances.
You slowly pushed yourself off the door and crouched down to your sink cabinet. You quietly opened it and reached in and grabbed the gun that was attached to the roof of the cabinet. When you moved, you decided to arm yourself as a form of protection.
You stood up and cocked the gun back. Your free hand wrapped around the door knob, inhaling and exhaling before slowly opening it. The creaking of the door opening added to the eeriness of the silence. Goosebumps formed on your skin as a gush of cool air from the hallway hits your skin.
You raised the gun up while your other hand supported it from underneath as you walked down the hall. The mist leaving the bathroom was conforming with the fresh air, disappearing behind you as you made your way down the hallway. Your steps thudded as you got closer, faint sounds of water droplets from your hair coming in contact with the floor.
You quickly turned the corner, scanning the living room as the gun followed your eye movements. Your breathing filled up your ears as your eyes moved quickly to every shadow or movement you suspected was something, which only added to your adrenaline.
Then finally, the creaking noise made your ears twitch and this time it was clear where it was coming from. You pointed the gun to the kitchen, tightening the grip. “Show yourself.” You commanded, voice full of anger.
Soon a man slowly emerges from the dark shadows with his hands up. Your eyes widened for a second but you kept your composure, “Who are you?” A slight shaky tone gave away the fear coursing in your body. All you saw was his body as the darkness covered his face.
Slowly he dropped his hands, standing still. “Answer me.” You demanded, heart beating up to your ears.
And with that he takes a step forward and with one look at the face, everything comes crumbling down. “S-San?” You gasped in disbelief, eyes widening at the sight of him, mouth parting.
“Y/N,” he said in a low voice. Oh my god. “It’s me.” It’s really him. The voice you longed to hear after five years. The person you missed desperately. The person who was your forever. He held his gaze with yours as he walked to you.
You felt your arms slowly dropping as you stood in shock. You couldn’t believe he’s here face to face. You want to hold him—wait— “Don’t fucking move.” You tell him as you quickly regained your composure. He freezes at your words. He is not the person you thought you knew.
“Y/N,” his voice broke, eyes full of sorrow. “Please. I know I fucked up.” He tries taking a step forward. Fucked up is an understatement.
“Don’t fucking move!” You yell at him, taking a step forward, gun pointed at him causing him to take a step back. “I’ll shoot you.” You tell him.
His eyes widen at your words. “Y/N,” he whispers as tears start dwelling in his eyes. “I know you’re upset, but please let me explain-“
“Upset?” You cut him off with a humorless laugh. “You fucking asshole. You ruined me! You hurt me in ways I didn’t even know was possible.” You spat at him. “You left me. No— You disappeared. Come to find out you’re nothing but a sick piece of inhumane shit murderer.”
“Let me explain, Y/N. It’s not what you think.” He tells you as he takes a step forward to you. His heart drops at the way you look at him. He knows the damage he has done. He knows that it might be late to salvage whatever is left but he would be damn if he gives up to easily.
The two of you moved around in circles in your living room. Him wanting to hold you, to feel your warmth and to explain everything but you wanting nothing to do with him as you moved away from him. His voice broke as he spoke, “Baby, please-“
“Don’t!” You cut him off, feeling the hot tears falling down your cheeks. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to show up five years later and try to make up for all the bullshit you put me through.” You tell him as you two finally stopped moving.
You watched as he cried, looking in pain. “Leave. Never come back. You’re five years too late, asshole. I want nothing from you.” You tell him angrily. There was a pause of works between you two, all you could hear was the cries. Your vision blurred by your tears as you stared into his regretful eyes.
San couldn’t contain it anymore. He walks up to you, making you gasp in shock as you walked backwards, bumping into the wall arms still extended out. You felt a slight push from the gun when its cold metal was pressed on his chest. “I have killed men.” He starts to explain what you saw in the photos. “Those men you saw in the photos have done most vile, disgusting things to people. Things that would keep you up at night.” He whispers at the end.
He clears his throat, “Let me explain,” he pleads. “Let me explain and then I’ll leave. I’ll do whatever you ask of me but please, Y/N…”
You fucking trembled as you let out a sob. He sighs in relief as he raised his hands, enclosing them on yours as he gently removed the gun from your hands. You don’t even fight it, you just hug yourself. He removes the ammo and cocks back the gun watching the bullet jump out, dropping the gun to the floor.
The thud made you jump back, wishing the wall would engulf you and would disappear. Slowly he raised his hands to your shoulders, causing you to look away in fright. You swallowed your nerves as you stiffened a bit, feeling his hands rising up to cup your face, making you turn to face him.
He leans his forehead on yours, sliding his hands from your face down your arms, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his lips as he pressed gentle kisses on your knuckles. He places your hands on his cheeks and leans into your touch, let out a shaky sigh of relief. Enjoying your warmth, missing your touch.
You stood there as you took in his gentle gestures. No matter how much you tried to deny it, you fucking missed him. You missed everything so much, but can’t fall for this. You removed your hands from his touch and looked at him in anger. He fucking left you.
You shoved his chest with all your force, watching him stumble backwards. He looked at you in shock. There was a moment of silence before you walked up to him and started pounding him on his chest, hitting him as you released everything you’ve been suppressing for the past five years.
“How could you do this to me?!” You screamed at him. “Who the fuck are you? Why would you come into my life if you were just going to disappear?” He stood there, taking it from you knowing that he deserves this and more.
You slapped him so hard across the face, making him almost lose his balance. “Okay,” he said groaning out in pain as he adjusted his jaw, feeling that burning sensation. “I deserved that.”
You shoved him once more. “I gave you everything.” You told him, panting heavily. “I fucking loved you. You were my everything. We were going to get married and have this life together.” You cried to him. You placed your hands on your head, feeling as if you were going crazy, “I just want to know why.” You shook your head, “Why, San?”
“Baby,” he tells you and you just close your eyes not wanting to hear the pet name he had for you. “I-“ he tried finding the words. “I was involved in something that I never, ever wanted you to find out. I know, sounds hypocritical considering you found the documents and pictures and for that I’m sorry. I genuinely forgot to take the case because- because-“ he sighs as he shakes his head, cutting himself off to change the topic.
You stayed quiet as you looked at him. He sniffed, “I have done terrible, terrible things.” You watched as he looks down and then back up to you, “But I had no choice.” He tells you as he got closer to you, grabbing your hands as he brings them to his lips once more “Part of what I did was something I needed to do in order to get out.” He places a kiss on your hands, looking at you. “In order to be with you.”
You wanted to stay silent. You didn’t want to know but your curiosity betrayed you, “What-“ you let out a shaky breath, “What did you have to do?” You said quietly.
He leans his forehead on your hands, not being able to look at you when he confesses. “In order to get out—to show my loyalty to them and to prove I was done with that life— I had to kill very important people.”
You took your hands from his grasp and looked to the side as you covered your mouth, not being able to look at him. “Oh my god.” You whimpered out.
“Baby, please, it was the only way for me to get out of this life that I didn’t even want to be to begin with.” He says, searching for your eyes. “But that was the only way for me to survive. Once I was in, there was no easy way out.”
He cups your face and wipes your tears, “But when I saw you,” he lets out chuckle with tears streaming down, “I’ll never forget when I first laid my eyes on you. I knew from the bottom of my heart I wanted to be with you,” he looked into your eyes, “I did what I did to be with you. I would do it a thousand times over for you. Because I love you.”
You closed your eyes, whimpering as he kept going on. “I left because I wanted to live a free life from all that shit. I left because I wanted to live in peace with you. Listen,” he cups your face, making you look directly at him, “the men I killed deserved all I did. They have hurt innocent people. Woman, children, Y/N, they don’t care who it was. Scumbags like that deserved to be punished.”
He fell to knees, placing gentle tender kisses on your thighs. “I was so, so afraid of losing you that I hid everything from you. I fucked up for not telling you but I was just trying to protect you.” He cries out as he leans his forehead on your thighs.
He wraps his arms around your legs, “I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m so sorry for all the misery I have caused you. I promise you, I was done. But-” he fumbled with his words, “But someone informed me that they were looking for me to get revenge. To get back at me for all I did to those people.”
He looks up at you, “And I just—… I could never live with myself if they killed you.So I decided to just leave and disappear before they found you with me.” He caresses the back of your thighs as he leaned his forehead once more on your thighs. “I thought it would be better this way. I paid off the men at my job to lie to you if you showed up. I threw my phone away. I had all of my records cleared off the database. I just couldn’t risk anyone having single link of you from me. ”
Your sobs filled the room as you take in all his words. This man who went from your lover to a stranger to now you being conflicted. You watched as he stood up, cupping your face once more. “For the past five years, I never once let you out my sight.” He confesses.
It then hits you. “Was that you today?” You asked him and he nodded.
“It fucking broke me watching you from the distance but please, Y/N, understand it was for your protection.” He tells you.
You held onto his wrists, “San,” you licked your lips as you closed your eyes. “I just- I don’t know what to think or what to do.” You sniffed as you opened your eyes and looked at him. “Why now? Why now after all these years did you decide to come back?“
“I’m free,” he whispered to you, “I took care of everything.” He tells you and you felt a shiver go down your spine as you gulped. “Listen to me, they deserved it.” You remove his hands, feeling sick as you remembered the photos and documents.
He sighs in defeat. “Y/N, the things they have done to others,” he shakes his head, “it’s indescribable. What I did to them isn’t even half of what they have done.” That makes you feel even more in shock. Those photos and detailing was already horrible enough, you can’t imagine what they did to others.
You looked at the floor thinking. Does it kind of make you feel better that San basically did justice in killing bad guys? You don’t know. Are you trying to make an excuse? You don’t know. But one thing is certain, you were afraid. You looked at him as you let out a shaky breath, “Would you ever… hurt me?” You hesitantly asked him.
You saw as his face broke at your question. His heart dropped at your words. “What?” He whispered out. “I would never, ever do such a thing to you. You’re the love of my life. The reason I woke up and did what I did for the past five years just so I can be with you again. Y/N you changed me for the better.” He grabs your hand and placed it on his chest. “This is for you.” He says as you feel his heart beat, insinuating that it beats for you and only you.
“The man you saw in the photos and read in the documents that’s not me anymore. I gave up that life for you. I wanted to change for you. I love you, Y/N, believe that.” He pulls you to him as he cups your face once more.
You planned to never see San ever again in your life. As a matter of fact you wanted to kill him if he ever came across your way. But now listening to him and him explaining, granted he needs more explains to do, you can’t help but fucking want him again in your life. You fucking missed him.
You let out a whimper. “San,” you say, “I hate you so much. I hate that I missed you. I hate that I still love you.” You squeezed his wrists. San lets out a sad chuckle at your word, “I hate myself too. I hate for leaving you and for hurting you.”
You softly hit his chest once as you cried, not having any strength left in your body. You looked up at him, “Are you going to leave me again?” You asked him with tears in your eyes, in a broken voice that was full of pain.
He leans his forehead on yours, “Never. I will never leave you again.” You felt his rough hands roaming up and down your arms, giving you goosebumps. You bit your lower lip—fuck. It’s as if nothing has changed for the past five years. You just give into him so easily.
You looked into his eyes, love and lust swirling around. “Please,” he said lowly, as he wiped your tears with his thumbs, “Let me take care of you tonight.” He places a kiss below your ear, “Let me show you how sorry I am.” He trails kisses down your neck, “How much I’ve missed you.” He hovers his lips over yours.
You let out a sigh of satisfaction from his touches. You slightly nodded as you looked into his eyes. He leans in and captures your lips, you melted into his touch. He wasted no time in picking you up causing you to wrap your legs around him.
You gently tugged his hair as the kiss started to heat up. He glided a hand up your back, tugging your head back by your hair as he trails kisses down your neck to your collarbone. You let out a moan when he starts sucking on that sweet spot. You look back down to him and kissed him again.
“Mmm, where is the room?” He broke the kiss, panting slightly as he catches his breath. “Down the hall.” You whispered, panting as well.
—
He burst into the bedroom, both of you still in the heated kiss, closing the door with his leg as he walked and threw you on the bed. “San!” You yelped out in shock. You sat up as you clutched the towel that still covered your body, giving him an angry look as he hovers over you, “Don’t do that shi-“
He cuts you off with a kiss, “I’m sorry, baby.” He whispers to you, gently pushing you to lay back down on the bed, “I’ll be careful, okay?” He whispers in your ear, kissing below it. Bullshit but okay. Nice to know that something’s don’t change.
He sat up as he takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere behind him as he leans back down to kiss you. You unconsciously roam your hands all over his muscular arms, squeezing them as he grinds his clothes hard member against your bare throbbing, achy pussy.
His lips slowly moves down and stops at the top of your towel. He takes his forefinger and slowly drags it from your lips down to neck and between your breast. He never once took his eyes off you as he slowly unravels your towel. He looked at you as if you were a meal—starving and craving you for the past five years.
He leans down and latches onto your nipple while massaging the other one causing you to arch your back as you clench you pussy onto nothing. He exhaled a sigh of relief through his nose as his tongue flicks your harden nipple. He switches from one breast to the other.
He trails the kisses down your stomach making you inhale and exhale at his trailing wet kisses, making you excited for what’s to come. He gets off the bed, kneeling on the floor between your legs, hooking his arms underneath your legs as he drags you closer to him.
He places your thighs on his shoulders, kissing your inner thighs as he eyes your glistening pussy. His hands caress your thighs up and down. “San, please.” You begged to him, turning your head to the side in desperation as your chest heaves at his actions.
“Shh, baby, just relax.” His hot breath hovers over your throbbing area, making you clench once more. “Let me handle it, okay?” He asks you and watched as you nodded frantically causing him to smirk.
He then sucks on your clit, slightly hollowing his cheeks from the suction as he flicks his tongue on your sensitive bud. You let out a moan as he lays his tongue flat, moving his head up and down. You gripped on his head, using your free one to grip the sheets. The sounds of suction adds to your pleasure.
He reaches over your thighs, spreading your folds wasting no time to fuck you with his tongue. San swears this is the most beautiful state he has seen you in. Screaming as you arch your back, unable to deal with the pleasure as it takes over you.
He moves his tongue in and out your hole, feeling you clench around him. He moves his tongue all around your folds before going back in. He then freed one hand and uses his thumb to rub small circles on your clit. “Shit.” You breathed out turning your head side to side, gasping.
He freed his other hand and sticks in two fingers, curved upward, moving at a medium pace. “O-Oh!” You moaned out, throwing your head back as your mouth parts in delight, “Ri-Right there!” You gripped the pillow on either side of your head.
He continues the rubbing and fingering as he looks at you. His cheeks hurt but he doesn’t fucking care. “I missed you so much baby.” He said in a deep voice, “I’ve dreamt of this everyday for the past five years.”
He places a kiss on your inner thigh. “Can you cum for me?” He asked you before getting back down. He quickens the pace, sucking the lower half of your clit as he uses his thumb to rub the top part rapidly, adding pressure to it.
You screamed out his name as a mantra. “San! San, I’m going to cum!” You said as you looked down at him before throwing your head back. You clamped his head trapped between your thighs, feeling your orgasm building up. You fisted his hair as you breathed heavy.
“Shit! Shit!” You say as you screamed out as you reached your orgasm. All the built up emotions just released in that moment as you felt like you saw stars. You breathed out uncontrollably as he help you ride out your high with his fingers and mouth. Your shaky legs let go of the grip it had on his head as you tried collecting yourself.
He stands up and removes his pants and boxers in one go, watching you all fucked out on the bed. His member was leaking with precum, eager to feel you and to fill you up all deliciously. He hovers of you, getting between your legs, “You okay, baby?” He asks you.
“Yeah,” You breathed out as you lazily wrapped your arms over his neck, “That was amazing.” You lazily smile which caused him chuckle. You pull him to you, kissing him as you tasted yourself on his lips.
He pulls back, “Are you ready?” He asked you. You nodded at him, “Yes.” You whispered, wrapping your legs around his waist. He moves to his hand to align himself, both of you remaining eye contact. You closed your eyes as you feel his tip going in and then him full stretching you out. He drops his head down, feeling the tightness engulf him.
He takes a moment for you both, taking in the sensation. You can’t help but to clench down at him, enjoying this longed for feeling. He slowly starts to thrust back and forth, biting his lower lip. “Oh.” You moaned out in pleasure and a slight stinging pain from the stretching.
He kisses your lips. “You’re doing so good for me, baby.” He comforts you through the slight pain. “Are you gonna take what I give you?” He asked causing you to flutter your eyes open at him.
“Anything you give me, I’ll take it.” You nodded at him. As soon as you gave him the permission, he puts his hands behind your knees, moving them up to the sides of your head. He starts pounding in you causing him to groan out in delight as he closes his eyes, throwing his head back.
The position made you feel his rough thrusts deeper causing you to scream. The bed frame started hitting again the wall from how hard he was going. “You like that baby?” He asked you looking back down at you.
“Ye-Yes-s!” You managed to choke out. Your tits bounced from his actions as you tried finding something to grip onto, feeling overwhelmed. You then let out a gasp when you felt him dropping your legs, turning you to lay on your stomach.
He drags your hips up, quickly inserting himself back in as his hand forces to arch your back. He smacks your ass which makes you moan out, loving the stinging. “Touch yourself for me, baby.” He says. You adjusted yourself on your arm as you reached out and rubbed circles on your clit. The rubbing makes you clench on him, “Fuck,” he moans out, bed creaking underneath you both. “Fucking love when you do that.”
He then grabs a fist of your hair, pulling your head back. You whimpered at the pulling as he smacks your ass again. You whined as you bit your lower lip, loving how his balls smack against your clit. “You’re mine.” He leans down and whispers in your ear, hand sliding to your neck, squeezing it. “All mine.”
“All yours, San.” You say with the little air you have in your body. You then leaned forward when he lets go of you, gasping for air. But you have no time to compose yourself as he turns you around one last time, laying you on your back.
“Cum with me.” He tells you, rapidly thrusting into you. Your hands reached to his back, scratching it deeply as he rubs your clit. His balls hitting your ass as he tries chasing his high, letting out a low groan.
All the sounds from skin slapping to the bed frame legit about to break added to the electrifying atmosphere. He reaches up and holds your jaw in place, “I'm gonna cum.” You tell him. “Me too, baby. Cum with me.” He tells you as he leans down and kisses you.
A few more strokes and you both are moaning into each other’s mouths as you both came at the same time. He paints your walls white as his hips movements slowly starts to subside, riding out both of your highs. He collapses on top of you, both of you panting heavy. Hot, sweaty sticky bodies in each other’s embrace. Your hand reaches up and caresses his sweaty hair. “I love you.” He tells you as you feel the vibration in the crook of your neck.
“I love you too.” You tell him as you stare off to the ceiling, slowly closing your eyes as you felt the exhaustion take over, caressing movements subsiding in his hair.
—
You wake up with the sun shining in your eyes. You scrunched up your face as you turned away from the light, reaching out to feel San. You shot your eyes open when you didn’t feel him there. No, not again. You sit up straight, looking at the empty spot. “San?” You called out, looking out the door way— nothing answers you back.
You remove the covers off you hastily, ignoring the overall soreness in your body as you walked to your drawer grabbing underwear and oversize shirt. You quickly put them on as you walked out the room, “San- Oh.” You called out once more as you walked down the hallway but stopped abruptly in your steps.
All your overwhelming emotions flushed away when you saw San cooking in the kitchen. “Ah!” He screamed out in pain when a small drop of oil jumped onto his skin. You covered your mouth when you saw how he was standing— body arm length away, hips pushed out, completely away from the pan as his arms are extended out. One hand holds a fork and the other holding the handle of the pot.
Through the sizzling, San heard your chuckle, causing him to snap his head towards you. “The stupid oil burned me again!” He said with a pout.
You sighed out a chuckle as you shook your head. “Let me do it, you big baby.” You said smiling as you walked to him. You take the fork from his hand and flipped some bacon pieces. He crossed his arms, “I’m not a big baby.” He said in a whining tone.
You snorted. “Sure.” You say, eyeing the bacon as you smiled. “You have the temperature too hig-“ You froze in your words when you saw a ring on your ringer finger with a huge diamond on it. How did you miss this big ass rock?
You then felt arms wrap around your waist from behind, lips kissing on your neck. You let out a shocked scoff as you felt tears dwelling in. “I told you I was going to get you a ring with a big gem on it.” He smiles into the kisses on your neck.
You turned to him with tears falling down your cheeks. He smiles at your reaction, cupping your face as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears. “I love you.” You whispered to him.
“I love you so much more.” He tells you. “I promise I will make up for all my mistakes. You’re my life, Y/N. I will prove it to you.” He knows it’s going to take a long time before you fully trust him again, but this a first step for that.
After a moment of silence he grab your chin and places a few more kisses on your lips. “So,” he whispers which you hummed in response, “why don’t we start on those six kids, mm?”
You rolled your eyes, swiping his hand off your chin turning to focus on the bacon. “We are not having six kids, San!” You tell him, giving him a glare over your shoulder. You looked at the bacon and smirked, “Maybe we will have them when you stop being scared over cooking oil.” You teased him.
He let out an offended gasp. “Excuse me?!” He put a hand over his chest. He pursed his lips as he hip bumps you out the way and sassily takes the fork out of your hand. “Watch. I’m not scared of some stupid oil.” His voice trembling through the fake confidence.
He flinched slightly when he sees the oiling jumping all over the place causing you to burst out in laughter. You placed a kiss on his cheek, patting his back. “Sure baby.” You say crossing your arms as you leaned back on the counter.
He then shouts once more , dropping the fork on the counter when the oil jumped on his skin. “Forget it!” He said walking away with attitude which made you stifle a laugh.
He stops in his steps and turns around, a smirk growing on his face. He walks to you, “What are you doing?” You asked him as you stood up, standing with your guard up. He bends down and throws you over his shoulder as he heads to the bedroom. “We can start with one.” He said as you yelled at him to put you down as he smacked your ass. You don’t see it but you two are smiling at each other’s actions.
THE END
#choi san#ateez scenarios#ateez#san choi#ateez san#san ateez#san imagines#ateez x reader#ateez fluff#ateez hard hours#ateez smut#ateez reactions#ateez choi san#san x reader
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I’m so excited that you’re wanting to write for Charlie Hunnam again!!!
You’ve written some of my top favorites fics and I’m excited to read more!
As for requests, I’m always going to request Will Miller, haha I love this character too much ☺️ And don’t get be started on Raymond and Jax
I’m not sure if you’re just wanting names of characters or prompts with the names, so I did that 😅 I’m not too good at coming up with prompt though, but here are my requests:
Will Miller, and maybe it’s a continuation of the one where he and the reader are married and he’s distant after Colombia? Like maybe it’s all fluff or maybe it’s a mix of fluff and angst? I love Will but something about him and angst just gets me 😆
Raymond Smith, and what if he and the reader haven’t seen much of each other and one night she waits up for him to talk with him about it? Maybe it’s angst, maybe it’s fluff?
Jax Teller, and maybe he and the reader are married and it’s just about a day that they spend together with the boys? Or maybe he and the reader go for a ride and it’s them having some time alone because Heaven knows that man needed to just sit and have some peace haha
I hope that these were okay to request, and if you’re not feeling any of them that’s all good; I’m all about what you feel up to writing and doing. And if you wanna switch them up or do something completely different that’s cool too, I’ll just love it either way! ☺️
Have a great rest of your week!!! Sorry this was way too long haha 😅
Fork in the Road [Jax Teller]
pairing: Jax Teller x Reader
summary: You spend a peaceful day with Jax for the first time in a long time.
author’s notes: Thank you so much for your kind words and all of these amazing ideas! I thought I'd jump in with some soft!Jax since that is the chef's special around here. This idea did run away from me a bit and it does get angsty, so I apologize in advance but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless. Thank you for requesting!
warnings: Angst, mentions of death, mentions of a car accident, hospital
song inspo: kitchen fan lullaby (raw) - claire boyer | cardigan - taylor swift
Charlie Hunnam Masterlist | Jax Teller Masterlist
The wind on the coastline guides the smell of the sea straight to your nose and ruffles your hair while you breathe in the bird’s eye view of the picturesque landscape in front of you. The gravel on the dirt road crunches beneath your feet as you take a step closer towards the edge to catch the way the sunlight glistens and glimmers against the waves of the ocean that crash against the shoreline in the distance.
“Don’t go too far,” a voice calls out to you a few feet away.
It startles you for a moment but when you turn your head towards the sound, you find Jax mounting his bike a considerable distance away. Elation fills your heart as you squint to get a better view of him and you laugh, despite the confusion, “Why are you so far away?”
From his bike, Jax watches you over his shoulder as you begin walking towards him.
“You had to stretch your legs, remember?” He prompts when you’re just a few feet away from him now.
“Yeah, I think I definitely did that,” you quip as you gesture to the large distance you just filled all on your own.
“I told you I could help with that but…” Jax trails off, wearing a cheeky grin now.
You roll your eyes and try to fight the grin that stretches across your face. Jax’s boyish laugh only makes you smile harder and you can’t resist placing a kiss on his lips. Everything else except for the warmth of his lips on yours and the feeling of his beard brushing against your skin seems to fade out. Everything goes quiet until there’s only Jax.
When you find the strength in you to pull away, he offers his helmet to you.
“You sure you wanna keep riding?” he tests.
You shake out your legs, the usual ache that comes from riding on the back of his bike now nonexistent. You take his helmet and place it on your head, “Where are we going?”
When Jax wanted to be romantic, he pulled out all the stops and more often than not, his thoughtful gestures always come at the hefty price of patience.
Jax leans over and tightens the strap under your chin so it fits snug against you. The light brush of his fingers on your skin causes heat to rise to your cheeks. He notices and smiles before pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger. You bite back a grin as he pats the leathery seat behind him on his bike, “Let’s go.”
You climb on eagerly, “This better be good,” you quip but you know a day away from Charming and the madness it contains within its borders is good in and of itself.
Your arms twine around Jax’s waist before you let your chin rest on his shoulder. Your faces are so close that you can just about feel the brush of his stubbly cheek against yours.
With the sudden pump of his leg, the motorcycle roars to life before settling down to a low rumble.
“So, straight ahead or around the bend?” you quiz, nodding towards the fork in the road in front of you.
“You let me worry about that, darlin’.”
You grin as Jax adjusts in his seat. Your eyes find the water again, noting just how blue it looks today. When you face forward again, your eye lands on the rear view mirror where you can see the small smile Jax wears before taking off down the dirt road.
Seagulls soar and squawk into the blue, cloudless sky underneath the steady rumbling of the engine. The salty air of the sea dances in the air as you take a deep breath and nuzzle your cheek further against Jax’s back that’s covered by the soft fabric of his SAMCRO sweater. Your hands lay against Jax’s torso and occasionally, while he’s cruising, he drops one hand to meet yours. His warm, calloused hand tangled with yours is your only anchor to the present moment. Your heart skips a couple of beats when you feel him run his thumb back and forth against your hand.
You didn’t think you’d ever know peace like this again considering how bad things have gotten in the MC. If you weren’t careful, you’d fall asleep right on the back of Jax’s bike.
Reluctantly, you open your eyes and meet the blue of the ocean again. You pick up your head and sit up straighter, surprised to still be seeing it considering you’ve been driving for what felt like a couple of hours.
Jax glances at you over his shoulder and smirks, “Quick pit stop?”
He nods to the beach below. You follow his gaze, entranced by the way the water splashes against the rocks and sends the foamy tops spilling out onto the shoreline. Although you’re desperate to know where Jax is taking you, you relent and nod anyway.
Sprinkles of cool ocean water land on your face as you lay next to Jax in the sand. He rests on his forearm and peers down at you with eyes that rival the blue of the water a few feet away. Your elbow rests against his shoulder as your hand lazily plays with the ends of his hair. No words need to be exchanged to see the comfort Jax finds in this moment too. He lets his fingertips lazily run over every dip and curve of your cheek while he brushes away a stray strand of hair. Like a cat desperate for pets, you lean into his touch.
“I like it here with you,” you confess.
“It’s beautiful,” he admits with a smile. You’re surprised to see him turn his head to take in the water before he adds, “Really beautiful.”
You recoil slightly in surprise as a cheeky smile spreads across your face, “I never thought I’d hear you talk about the earth’s beauty.”
Jax stays facing away from you for a moment as he swallows the lump in his throat. When his eyes meet yours again, they’re glassy, causing your smile to falter. You cup his bearded cheek, just as he replies, “I never appreciated it before.”
Before you can speak, Jax leans down and presses his lips to yours tenderly. His warm hand cradles your cheek and you give into him in a split second. His soft lips against yours cause your head to spin, and while you don’t know what brought on the sudden emotion, the feeling of his body weight pressing against yours as he begins to relax tells you he found the comfort he was looking for.
Jax pulls back an inch, studies your face and asks, “Are you sure you wanna keep going?”
The blissed out feeling rushing through your veins has you seriously considering his question for a moment.
“You haven’t told me where we’re going. I think I should know so I can make an informed decision.”
A smirk tugs at his lips but he stays quiet. A gleam in his eye appears and you know that mischievous look all too well. Excitement bursts through you and has you springing to your feet, “I wanna see what you’ve got planned,” you decide before taking off running towards his bike that’s parked on the concrete a short distance away.
Joyous laughter spills out of you and only multiplies when you feel Jax’s strong arms encase you and lift you off of the ground. He presses you against his body and smothers any inch of your face he can reach with kisses. Throughout your uncontrollable laughter, you feel the rumble of his chest against your back as he lets out a chuckle of his own. Now that you’re held hostage in his arms, Jax makes sure to take his time walking the both of you back to his bike.
Back on the road, with your arms wound around Jax brings about a special brand of tranquility that only he can provide. It makes this long ride all the more bearable. With your eyes closed, you can feel his back rising and falling gently, bringing your heavy head along with it. His calloused thumb goes back to stroking the soft skin of your hand and it brings a peaceful smile to your face. If you could stay here forever, you would.
As a matter of fact…
You open your eyes to try and find some clue as to where the two of you are headed, but when you find the picturesque landscape of the ocean again, you recoil in confusion. Looking past Jax’s shoulder, you see that same fork in the road: straight ahead or around the bend. Your eyes narrow in on him, “Okay, I don’t know how the hell you’re doing it, but stop stalling!” you laugh over the noise of the motorcycle, “Just take me there already!”
Jax doesn’t reply, he simply takes another right turn instead of continuing down the straight path. “You realize we have to go back to Charming eventually, right?”
Jax keeps his gaze forward and you almost think he doesn’t hear you but when you’re about to call his name, you feel the bike begin to slow down.
“Do you need a break?” you ask once Jax parks the bike in the middle of the empty road. “Let me stretch for a few minutes,” you climb off of the bike and let out a sigh of relief as you walk around. “If you’re lost, you can just admit that, you know?” you poke, “No shame in asking for help.” As soon as you say that though, you realize there’s nobody to ask. There hasn’t been anybody else on the road but you two.
When you stop walking around in circles, you’re met with the frown on Jax’s face. “What’s wrong?” your breath hitches.
Jax hesitates for a moment, then says, “You have to get off here.”
You recoil, looking all around you at the empty expanse, “In the middle of the road? That’s no way to treat a woman, Teller,” you place a sassy hand on your hip and smirk.
Still, Jax’s face holds a frown. Playfulness evaporates and confusion takes its place, “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t take you any further,” his eyes fall to the ground.
“You’re not making any sense,” you try to keep your calm as you feel the sun beam down harder on you.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he shakes his head, getting choked up.
“You are,” you step closer to him, “We are.”
You reach out to cup his face but as you do, he turns his head away and looks forward, repelling your touch. When he revs the engine of his bike, reality sets in. He’s really leaving you here.
“What the fuck, Jax?” you clip, “How am I supposed to get home!?”
“Don’t worry about that,” is all he says before he takes off, down the straight path.
“What the— Jax!” you call as you run after his bike that kicks up dust between the two of you. You try to shield your eyes against it as you try to catch up with him, though you know it’s a pathetic attempt. “Jax!” you cry out again, your chest constricting and eyes filling with tears.
When the dust clears, all that’s left ahead of you is the fork in the road. There’s no sign of Jax but you keep calling out his name. You spin around in every direction, trying to get a glimpse of him — or for anyone for that matter.
Your breathing comes out choppy and a sheen of sweat layers over your body underneath the sun that has become blistering. Your eyes fight to stay open against the sunlight that has gotten brighter and brighter until it becomes blinding. It eclipses the scenery around you and forces you to close your eyes.
When you find the strength to open them again, you see the sun, blurry and moving from left to right.
What the fuck?
You blink a few times and your vision finally focuses on…a penlight.
You wince and turn away from the brightness, “Fuck,” you rasp out.
Your heavy head lolls off to the side where you find an infusion pump standing tall over you in a bleak, white room. It’s not until you see it that you hear it beeping.
A tube is attached to it.
You follow it with your eyes to see the other end of it connected to your forearm.
These aren’t your bedsheets. The pale blue against the sickly white tells you it’s a hospital bed.
When your name is called, you turn your head slowly and carefully against the thin pillow propped underneath your head. Your neck aches but when you finally face forward, you see a doctor standing before you with Chibs and Tig behind him, both wearing relieved expressions.
“How are you feeling?” the doctor asks.
You open your mouth to ask him what the hell is going on, but stop when Tig holds up a hand to the doctor, “Just give us a minute, doc.”
The doctor skims over their kuttes before cutting a glance at you to silently ask is this okay? You nod once and wait for him to leave.
When he does, Chibs pulls up a chair next to your bed and sits down. “How are you, lass?”
“What happened?” you look between him and Tig who stands at the foot of your bed.
“You got in a car accident, honey,” Tig replied from the foot of your bed. “Pretty bad spill. We almost lost you there.”
“Jax.” His name flies out faster than you can piece together why. “Where’s Jax? We were driving together. He was there…” you trail off as you notice the pained looks Chibs and Tig share.
The memory comes flooding back to you: you cruising down the freeway in your car after finally maneuvering through aggravating traffic, some idiot making a last minute decision to switch into your lane, him cutting you off, and then…nothing. The details after that are non-existent, not that they matter since a new weight settles onto your chest, “Oh…yeah,” is all you can say once you realize.
“You had some internal bleeding so they took you into surgery,” Tig continues, navigating the conversation away from that pain point.
“They say you’re gonna be fine,” Chibs assures you despite it, “Just need to rest, is all.”
Disappointment cements itself in your heart as you realize you’ve returned to a world without Jax. The pain still hasn’t budged even though it’s been two years since he passed.
But for the sake of the men standing in front of you right now, you plaster on the best smile you can and say, “That’s good.”
#charlie hunnam#charlie hunnam imagine#jax teller#jax teller imagine#sons of anarchy#sons of anarchy imagine
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okay so ii thought this would be fun soooo
what epic saga is ur fav nd least fav, what is ur fav song in each saga, ur least fav in each saga, your overall fav and least fav
feel free to ramble and/or go off on a tangent about hidden meanings i fw that shit very hard
oh boy. these were really hard to narrow down. thanks for this ask btw, it was fun!!
my fav saga :
the underworld!! ik it's the shortest but each song is such a banger and it's the only one for where each song gets better from the last. all three of the songs are in my top 10 easy.
the polites cameo broke ppl's hearts ik but it was amazing to hear steven in the role again. i love his voice. anticlea was amazing too.
no longer you was actual fire. i LOVE epic's version of tirisias a lot and his voice is perfect. the orchestration in that song is actually beautiful and both actors absolutely kill it.
and monster? oh i'll take about monster later
least fav saga :
cyclops saga. i like it but i don't have strong feelings about the songs except for my goodbye. plot wise, it's important ofc but i dont find myself listening to it as often cuz it's just sad. i do like all the songs tho
i will say polyamorous the cyclops sounds REALLY GOOD in the remastered version. woah what a voice improvement holy moly
i really love my goodbye tho. that song is in my top 10. the 'YOU'RE ALONE!' is actually insane. i need like a 100 animatics for it. it's too good.
fav song in each saga :
just a man
i LOVE jay's performance here. this song made me cry when i first listened to it. i mean it's just everything.
i think most ppl thought 'oh musical about odyssey call epic probably silly boyish fun' and for the most part horse and the infant leads u on with that. then THIS SONG happens and ur crying on the floor.
i love watching animatics for it too. unlike most songs in epic, there is no action in this song, it's pure agony of a man grappling with one of the hardest things anyone can do and it's fucking amazing.
and i said it before just now but the VOCALS. stunning. perfect. jaw dropping.
in my ideal epic animated movie, what i want is for horse and the infant and just a man BEFORE the title card drop. and when ody sings the last line of just a man, it fades to the title screen. then it would be daytime and full speed ahead can happen.
idk if that makes sense but i think it would slay so hard.
my goodbye
OH MY GOD. THIS SONG. IT IS HEARTBREAKING
the callbacks to warrior of the mind takes me by surprise everytime like holy shit she really just said that?? then ody's 'YOU'RE ALONE!'
it's perfect. the pure rage from both of them is just so good.
it's my favourite saga ender. it's so cold and just wow. like athena was in one song before but the EMOTION from both of them is enough to make u wanna cry.
ruthlessness
see one part of my brain is like 'oh that's interesting the villain and hero have conflicting moralities and the hero may become like the villain and he is establishing the hero's thinking as flawed for his purpose.' then the other half of my brain is dead from how much steven rodriguez SLAYS the performance.
the lyrics are great as with all the song. the callback to remember them? chef's kiss. poseidon really sat down with his son and took notes for his villain number lol
but my fav things about it the performance. the poseidon voice is so so so so good. and i'm not saying it in a 'haha i find it hot' way. i mean i do but also, it's just perfect for poseidon. he sounds like if salt could talk and that's a compliment btw. his sass and personality is great too.
'but noooo' i just. i love poseidon's voice so much.
and i am shaking in my boots for get in the water.
there are other ways
i love the route jay went with the plot. this portrayal of circe is so important to me, i love her sm. i read the circe book just before the circe saga - and i liked it overall - but the ending left a horrible taste in my mouth so this was a very welcome change.
it's so well done. our boy ody '🥺my wife🥺'-ing his way out of the situation? perfect. ik it's more complicated but the end of the circe saga is such a good character moment for him.
and CIRCE. CIRCE MY QUEEN ILY.
her sympathising with ody and helping him is great. i love that she gets fleshed into, why she does what she does and when she sees the good in ody. she really is a loving queen and i love her sm.
her vocals - especially at the end - are stunning. i love tayla sindal's voice for circe. like with poseidon, that is the perfect voice for the character.
i really love gigi's animatic of this song and that's just how i imagine it happening. it's actually perfect. my fav song was a tie between this and done for but the animatic made me fall in love with this one.
monster
odysseus gives into the pam pam 🦖🦖
it's my favourite song in epic. i have a LOT of thoughts on it but i actually cannot put them into words.
mutiny
this one is fresh so my thoughts will not be cohesive. the amount of callbacks in this song actually kills me.
i cried at the livestream. exactly at the lyric 'ody we're never gonna get to make it home' i mean.
ODY. ODY not CAPTAIN. I CAN'T END THIS. poor choice of words nm
but i will say i've seen some takes on eurylochus that i definately do not agree with and he's one of my fav characters. i'm sad he's gone, his acting and presence was amazing and underrated in all the other sagas and he's just a great character.
least fav in each saga:
i like all of these songs btw. i don't dislike any song. i don't wanna got into detail cuz for all the answer is just i like the others more.
full speed ahead
polyphemous
storm
wouldn't you like
the underworld
different beast
winner : monster
second place : there are other ways
third place : ruthlessness
my overall least favourite song : polyphemous/different beast. again i like these songs, i just prefer others
#epic the musical#epic the musical troy saga#epic the musical cyclops saga#epic the musical ocean saga#epic the musical circe saga#epic the musical underworld saga#epic the musical thunder saga#justbambiithings
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top ted talks pt. 2
aka, songs written about josh/torchbearer, confirmed and not, all for fun so don't take it too close to heart (:
The Run and Go
with this song I believe Tyler has spoken before about how Josh is someone he would often call during difficult nights, and overall just someone he turns to for support. especially the chorus.
not wanting Josh to feel the weight of his own problems, but still needing him there mentally. it's a really sweet balance i think they found with one another, being able to cope in their own ways but with the assistance of the other. "cerebral thunder, and one way conversations" in my mind is like when you're having a panic attack, and the other person is 'having a one way conversation' with you as they do their best to calm you down. just a sweet song i think.
Tear in My Heart
tear in my heart pronoun change you will always be famous.
Morph/My Blood
double whammy for trench because they chose death for this album. morph is a track that i started associating with torchbearer post navigating mv. verse two, "He'll always try to stop me, that Nicolas Bourbaki He's got no friends close but those who know him most know He goes by Nico, he told me I'm a copy When I'd hear him mock me, that's almost stopped me". the idea of nico mocking the 'fake' torch, probably to stop him from fighting to get clancy to return home to the banditos, man. that morphing into someone else is a self defense mechanism, a way to protect clancy at a distance to keep him on track to their eventual goal. 'not done, josh dun' i mean cmon, they're just playing with us at this point. torch isn't done with the battle against the bishops, and will not give up on clancy no matter what. love this song.
my blood is just *chefs kiss*. the entire track is a similar idea. elaborating on the point that torch whole heartedly believes in clancy, and even when no one else believes in him, he will. it's just a very sweet dynamic, and i think it's what keeps clancy in the cycle of capture, escape, capture. knowing that torch expects him to return, that he holds the hope of winning this fight no matter how long it takes. "Surrounded and up against a wall I'll shred 'em all and go with you When choices end, you must defend I'll grab my bat". until their last breath, torch and clancy will have each other's backs, and i love that. they're truly everything.
(i would add choker, but i also don't have much to say plus i'm on the fence about it. im sorry scaled and icy you're my beautiful gf but alas you have no josh in you, maybe in another post)
Routines in the Night/Navigating
routines has a similar logic for me as run and go, as in it's also Tyler mentally opening up to Josh about his issues/ the halls of his mind.
as for navigating, little goes to say. we learn so much about torch's power in this as well i absolutely love this track as a whole. whenever clancy grabs onto torch we know that it helps him one way or another to find his way back/it activates the torch illusion to lead him back towards the banditos 'when our fingers touch i feel my way back home'. clancy thought he was just following torch, while in reality he just felt it. and don't get me started at the look they exchange when they finally reunite. the overall sound and lyrics of this track, suddenly cut to fade in 'my blood' as they meet eyes for the first time in years? insane. i n s a n e. torch means so much to clancy, we know that from the way dema citizens reacted to clancy, mocking his callouts for josh/torch. and torch going the lengths to make sure clancy makes it home? they drive me crazy.
once again, dear reader, thank you for reading my brainfart about these boys (:
#top#twenty one pilots#twenty øne piløts#clancy#twenty one pilots clancy#tøp clique#clancybearer#tyler joseph#josh dun#torchbearer#twenty one pilots lore#nika's tea party#scaled and icy justice#i wish they got their happily ever after#live laugh protect clancybearer and joshler
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REASONS TO LOVE SHINTARO AS A CHARACTER:
first of all; hes a gamer boy depicted as he really is and not what he thinks he is: a fucking loser who fails at every social situation and also stinks
aside from the jokes, i think he has two main songs in the whole series: toumei answer and lost time memory. im just gonna share lyrics from each song that makes me go INSANE thinking about him:
"The alarm that starts ringing/Says to my lonely self: you're a coldhearted fool" <- his guilt here is delicious to me like he blames himself for her death and yes he did act shitty and he abandoned her but he didnt do it out of malice he did it bc he didnt know how to approach her but he thinks he killed her and its also killing him OUGH
"The color of your hair/The shape of your smile/Someone might have already forgotten it" <- and then HES the one who forgets everything about ayano bc of the trauma like here he laments that her absence that has already changed his entire world might be this insignificant to someone else AND YET AND YET HIS MIND LOCKS HER OUT ITS JUST. OUGH
(NOT TO MENTION HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES THE FLOWERS WHEN HE REALIZES WHEN HE SEES THE PAPER CRANE)
(get ready for lost time memory brainrot bc that kills me every fucking time its my fav song)
"Even after years, the shadow doesn't fade/It only invites more emotions." <- he doesnt remember but the absence is heavy on his mind it KILLS me
"If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward/I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead." <- self destructive EVEN in the good route where hes not as suicidal like being self deprecating is a huge part of his brain
"Feeling hazy, let's remain unaffected today too/And keep up yesterday's pace/So that I won't ever forget your warmth/If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then/I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from" <- GOING INSANE GOING FERAL hes SO FULL OF REGRET and hes SUCH A STUPID BITCH that his solution is to stay in his own head and live in his dreams (literally) like i want to hug him and i want to slap him
"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again/While clinging on to your colorful smile" <- just imagining how route X shintaro is often colored with black and dull colors bc his world has lost the color OUGH
(god just. the ending part where he desperately reaches out to clutch ayano vs him moving on from the tragedy and the proud and tearful smile of ayano just HNNGGH HE REALLY GREW DIDNT HE)
(and who cant relate to wanting to change things bc u lost ur chance before but u cant change anything so u just disappear into ur head trying to either comfort urself by daydreaming or trying to find other stuff, try to forget ur will and wallow in passivity, its just so *chefs kiss*)
i get it hes not a very likable person and he does act shitty and bratty and the anime really doesnt give him the floor to change BUT!!! give him a chance and he WILL become ur poor little meow meow. guaranteed.
reply under read more cuz this should be its own post!! and also all i gotta say is YESSSS YEEEES YESSSSS shintaro is. such a good character and i also wanna cry my eyes out with EVERYTHING abt lost time memory.
he's just a stupid guy and the thing abt shintaro is that he will ALWAYS do what's right. he has a very strong sense of justice and he's very clear on his principles. and he will always speak up for others and stand up for what he thinks is right. and this like... a HILARIOUS virtue for a character who is ALSO so awkward, difficult to approach, bratty and self centered. like that's so funny.he is such a special little guy and HE IS AWESOME
he's so cringe fail and an asshole but he's also the hero and deserves praise for it. like cry about it. he is a good guy but he's also the worst. but also he's the best. hope that helps
he and ayano are such character foils... like.... both have this strong sense of justice and they're really really REALLY the damn heroes. hold on i need to cry a little
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so much (for) stardust
my (almost first listen) ratings for the new fob albums. if you even care.
hold me like a grudge - 7/10, clap clap clap clap clap! love the verses, but less bothered by the chorus. already it's grown on me since first listen. on re-listen, gives me slight IOH/SRAR vibes.
fake out - 9/10, LOVE the melancholic guitar riff, and the relatively muted verses really work with the vibe. "Do you laugh about me whenever I leave or do I just need more therapy?" The "love is in the air, I just gotta figure out a window to break out" unlocks something in me. Something nostalgic, yet positive?
Heaven, Iowa - 8/10 "baby please, would you read my eulogy" goes SO fucking hard. "When the party ends, will you still love who I am?" "Saving this all for later" "Half your life you've been hooked on death", the choir on "half the love~". THIS SONG HAS SO MANY GOOD LYRICS. And the poetry of scar-crossed lovers??? Even so, I kinda forget why I rate this song so high until those fucking guitars and drums come in and I'm like !!!! Literally the drums on this whole album are SO good and I'm not normally one to notice drums, so the fact that I am is a sign of how fucking incredible the drum arrangement is!
so good right now - 7.5/10, I love the positive and yet weirdly pessimistic vibe. "I cut myself down to whatever you need me to be".
the pink seashell - 10/10. in some ways, this can't be rated on the same scales as the songs . but like. this hits. the moment where the hauntingly melancholic notes turn triumphant when he says he finds joy in the small things? i feel emotions
i am my own muse - 10/10 the strings, the fucking strings!! and then the drop??? *chefs kiss* I think i'm gunna kill this song tho (if my sister hasn't already) 😬
flu game - 7.5/10 "last night i dreamt i still knew... youuuuuuuuuuu~" nanananananana all this effort to make it look effortless nananananannana
baby annihilation - 9/10, another one that can't quite be rated on the same scale as the songs but damn, if this doesn't also hit. "first time i took the mask off, just had another mask on underneath"
the kintsugi kid (ten years) - 8/10, firstly, just even the image evoked by the term "kintsugi kid". "I'm pretty sure, as far as humans go I am a hard, hard pill to swallow and i know i'm not your intended dose". LOW low (low) low. "Ten years in a bit of chemical haze and I miss the way that I felt... Nothing, nothing". the little baby howls at the end!!!
what a time to be alive - 8/10, what an upbeat pessimistic bop. "the view's so pretty from the deck of a sinking ship". "everything is lit but my lighting bolt brain" - what an image. even "what a time to be alive" is so... "may you live in interesting times", y'know? and patrick's voice on "aliiiiveee". and i just love the ending - feels really good to have that sudden end
so much (for) stardust - 10/10 THE FUCKING PIANO. CHILLS. AHHHHH THE SONG IS SO GOOD I CAN'T EVEN WORDS. the "thought we had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it all, thought we had it all". the "I need the sound of crowds, or I can't fall asleep at night I can't take my thoughts and I can't take my thoughts and I am awake" and the horns coming in on "awake". "I'm pretty positive my pain isn't cool enough, pain isn't cool enough" "I think I've been going through it and I've been putting your name to it" OKAY I HAVE TO STOP I'M JUST WRITING OUT ALL THE LYRICS but okay also the callback to the first song?? and the voices fading out as they sing over each other???????? FUCKING. TITLE. TRACK.
#i'm trying to do roughly my first impressions but i think already the ratings are shifting a little#heaven and kintsugi kid are probably up to a 9#this album reminds me a lot of paramore's after laughter actually#there's a lot of upbeat stuff hiding some quite sad lyrics#honestly. that's how you end an album#fob
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i’ve just finished vol 1 of stranger things and i’m gonna rant about my thoughts so:
⚠️SPOILERS FOR STRANGER THINGS⚠️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
holy shit it was incredible! the vibe, the plot, the characters, all *chefs kiss* perfection. it was all amazing tbh, but i’m just gonna talk about my personal favourite things from the season.
• ep 4–‘dear billy’:
holy mother of god this episode. this fucking episode. possibly the best stranger things episode ever, if i’m honest. max’s storyline this season was brilliant, dealing with the loss of her abuser/brother, high school, a fading friend group—it was a dark twist for the character, but one that felt gritty in such a natural way. billy didn’t get a redemption arc (thank god) but max still dealt with the loss in a very real, very raw way that felt so genuine—big pat on the back for the duffer brothers there.
this episode, though. we got to see max’s true feelings; her isolation, her grief, her suicidal thoughts and feelings. it was a real exploration of her character that made me love her all the more.
and i can’t not talk about that end scene. holy. fucking. shit. the cinematography, the song choice, the way it swelled as max rose from the ground, the tension, the suspense, the goddamn flashbacks. all of it was just fucking breathtaking. i was crying and shaking the whole time. max’s determination to get back to her family, the way she collapses in lucas’s arms. absolutely the best scene in stranger things history, and one of my favourite scenes of all time in anything ever. chills. every time. and sadie sink deserves all the awards for her performance, i’ll stand by that. icon behaviour.
• the vecna/001 storyline:
this had me gripped from the start. honestly, i was so intrigued the whole time—and it was played out incredibly well.
from the first scene making us think eleven killed those kids, to the big reveal that 001 had been behind it all along, to eleven blasting him into the upside down and creating vecna. phew. was on the edge of my seat from the start.
it also makes sense in a way that’s not too perfect, but just perfect enough. it’s a reason for all previous seasons, a perfect storm. it felt like the stuff of epics, the final enemy, the final battle. mwah, i loved it.
• eddie, steve and dustin:
i loved them this season. best boys 4 life.
we got the steve and dustin best bros dynamic back, plus seeing how much they mean to each other through eddie coming between them. perfection. i love those little doofuses.
and eddie himself was great. brilliant character, comedic and interesting. good job joe quinn.
•lumax:
i’d never really hated or loved this ship before season 4. i mean, it was kinda cute, but i never got all the hype surrounding it. now, i think i do.
their angst this season was just 😤. the way you can so clearly see that they still care for each other, the way they still need each other. lucas being max’s safe haven. max being the one lucas is vulnerable around. amazing, spectacular. it’s clear they love each other, they just need to figure some stuff out first. my second fav ship of the season.
and here we go, my favourite thing from stranger things season 4 vol 1:
• RONANCE!!!!
oh. my. god. these two stole the show for me.
their dynamic was just immaculate the whole way through—from bickering strangers to grudging allies to genuine friendship. it was exactly what i imagined for them and natalia and maya played it so well. their scenes were honestly my favourite. and whilst i love them as friends, i’m a feral ronance shipper—and lemme tell you, i was FED.
firstly, robin tells steve in the video store that she rambles around the girls she likes. cut to robin talking non-stop around nancy in the library. ROBIN I KNOW UR SECRET BABE.
then, we see tammy thompson (finally), who could be a carbon copy of nancy wheeler, from the style down to the heart eyes for steve. SHIT robin, do you have a type—popular pretty girl who falls for the preppy pretty boy? just admit you like nancy already oh my god.
robin’s obsession with having nancy like her?? the fucking lesbianism of it! like, wanting this other girl so desperately to think you’re cool that you end up being so annoying she has to shut you up with mystery and monsters? the gay agenda. needing to be her friend but you don’t know why until—oh shit, that’s why.
the way they just complete each other!!! they bounce off each other so easily, coming up with all the plans and the genius ideas and basically saving the whole group together. the way they play off each other in the asylum, convincing the guy to let them see victor (and holy shit the way nancy looks at robin during her speech). they save max’s life together, and are the only reason the group can save themselves from vecna and i just think that’s neat.
finally, to address the stancy plot line. it’s clear the duffers are trying to make it seem like steve and nancy will get back together, and who knows, maybe they will. but i think (i hope) the duffers are smarter than that.
nancy and steve are the characters who have had the most development over the course of the show. they’ve both grown into themselves, become different and better people. and to have them get back together would completely defeat their respective arcs. i can see them being good friends, but i don’t think they’d realistically work as a couple again.
for one reason, it was made clear in nancy’s vecna vision that her biggest fear, the thing that haunts her most, is that she killed barb, that barb died because she slept with steve. that shit still fucks with 3 years later. and i think she’ll always associate that guilt with him, no matter what. i don’t think she’ll move past that enough to have a healthy relationship with him.
for another, steve clearly doesn’t know what he wants—and i think he needs to figure that out on his own. he’s desperate for love, that’s obvious, and he’s latched onto nancy because she’s his ex who’s showing interest. i think he needs to come into himself a little more before he thinks of trying a relationship.
finally, it’d be pretty cruel of the duffer brothers to have nancy do what she did to steve with jonathan to jonathan with steve. it’d be unoriginal and disappointing, and it wouldn’t really make sense. at least have nancy and jonathan break up officially first, you know?
so no, i don’t think steve and nancy will get back together. and i also think jonathan and nancy will break up when she realises they don’t need each other anymore. they were trauma-bonded, that’s true, but she’s doing well on her own, and they want to take separate paths in life. so that leaves nancy a single pringle.
and who’s right there with her? robin motherfucking buckley.
robin, who annoyed the shit out of her at first, who is frustratingly clever and infuriatingly funny. robin, who saved max’s life, who tried to help nancy, unselfishly, with her love life when they barely even knew each other. robin, who’s become the closest thing she has to a friend since barb.
robin, who i think is gonna save her life.
last time we saw nancy, she was under vecna’s curse. and we all know the only way to break the trance is to play that person’s favourite song. and sure, steve might know it and that’ll be that, but what if he doesn’t? what if he can’t save her?
robin will step in. we saw her routing through nancy’s draws in her room, and we saw her holding some of nancy’s tapes. i don’t think that was a coincidence. i think robin knows nancy’s favourite song and is going to save her life with it.
and boom. just like that, robin stops being the annoying new friend. robin becomes the life-saver, the ally, the rock in the middle of the hurricane. and nancy starts to fall for her.
but what do i know, eh?
anyways, those are my thoughts on season 4 volume 1!!!! i’d love to hear yours—just send me an ask, some of your ideas about what’s gonna happen in vol 2, what your thoughts about the first volume are—love you guys :)
#stranger things spoilers#stranger things s4#stranger things#max mayfield#sadie sink#lumax#ronance#robin buckley x nancy wheeler#robin x nancy#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#vecna stranger things
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Sanji - I'm Your Man
My first songfic! Written for @tardiiart and @sm0ke-sc33n8212 I hope you both like it. > w< Thank you for the kind comments in your guy's requests it meant a lot to me. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
SanjixGN!Reader / SFW / 1.3k
Song: I'm Your Man - Michael Buble
You clapped along with the rest as Luffy and Usopp took an exaggerated bow. The Strawhats had stopped at yet another island and honestly, it was one of your favorites so far. The islanders were so kind, the views of everything were breathtaking and the food was astounding. Even Sanji had agreed and he was one chef whose opinions you were willing to trust more than any other.
The thing that was most impressive, however, was the sheer amount of music that poured out of every corner. Open apartment windows spilled out different genres of music, there was a band on every street corner, and people danced whenever the mood struck them, even in the middle of the sideway.
It seemed everyone was capable of something, playing an instrument, singing or dancing.
Your current group of Strawhats, Luffy, Usopp, Franky and Sanji had run across a band that claimed they could play any song, provided the requester could sing it.
It had resulted in a frankly hilarious duet by Usopp and Luffy, both of them losing track of the words (Luffy more often than Usopp) and stumbling over each other as they sang. But it was fun and your cheeks and ribs hurt from laughing so much.
You felt Sanji pull you closer to his side and you melted against him. "Gonna sing, mon amour?" he asked you softly, loud enough for only you to hear.
Shaking your head you shot him a grin. "Think I'd prefer you to sing."
"Ah." Sanji bit into his cigarette harder. "I'm afraid I wouldn't be as lovely as you—"
"Bro you should totally sing!" Franky interrupted with a large arm thrown around you both.
"Ohhh, Sanji's gonna sing?!" Luffy cooed as he ran closer to join the basically group hug and Sanji grumbled as he tried to pull away.
"I most certainly am not—"
"Oh, would you dear? I'd love to hear it. Maybe a song for me?" you allowed your voice to have just a little bit of heat to it and Sanji straightened with a blush, body wiggling with excitement.
"If you'd likeeee! Who am I to deny such a precious gem and—oi!" His voice went irritated as Franky pushed him towards the band. "What gives?!"
"Go do your romantic posturing in the song dude," Franky said, rolling his eyes. Sanji flipped him off before immediately blowing you a kiss that you returned which made him do a giggle float towards the band.
You watched eagerly as he whispered to the band before snatching up the mic. When he whirled around you felt your breath catch in your throat as his one clear blue eye held you captive, the mood suddenly turning from its jovial atmosphere to something more serious.
Then Sanji opened his mouth and started to sing.
If you want a lover I'll do anything you ask me to
Your mouth dropped open in surprise. You'd never heard Sanji sing before and while you expected it to be good you didn't expect it to be great. His deep tenor vibrated through you as your eyes widened.
Meanwhile, Sanji's gaze never left yours.
And if you want another kind of love I'll wear a mask for you If you want a partner Take my hand
Sanji reached out to you and you felt spellbound under his focus. The noise of the crowd, the other Strawhats, all of it faded away until there was only Sanji left.
Or if you want to strike me down in anger Here I stand, I'm your man.
You never would, of course not, but your spine tingled as he started doing a strut across the cobblestones, his shoes clicked on the stone and you couldn't tear your eyes away from the long lines his legs made. You felt a little weak in the knees.
If you want a boxer I will step into the ring for you. And if you want a doctor I'll examine every inch of you.
He had the audacity to send you a wink and you almost fainted on the spot. Your heart pounded. Whatever you were expecting, it wasn't this. While yes, you were expecting a love song. The declaration he was doing? The flare combined with his voice?! It was making it difficult to breathe let alone think!
Franky put a hand on your shoulder. "Whoa there, deep breaths, there you go." With the reminder, you sucked in a breath as your eyes stayed glued on Sanji's.
If you want a driver Climb inside Or if you want to take me for a ride You know you can, 'cause— I'm your man
Distantly you could hear the band pick up, the brass rising to a crescendo. They must have been playing the entire time but you hadn't noticed to focused on Sanji.
Ah, the moons too bright The chains too tight The beast won't go to sleep I've been running through these promises to you That I made and could not keep
Sanji continued his slow walk that was obviously making its way straight to you. He was smiling—you noted somewhere beneath all the mental screaming you were doing—as he sang and wow if that wasn't just the perfect picture. When he got to you, he grabbed your hand, the action normal and familiar to you. His palms were vaguely sweaty. Then he dropped down to his knees in front of you and your heart flew into your throat. He kept singing.
Ah, but a man never got a woman back Not by begging on his knees I'd crawl to you, baby And I'd fall at your feet I'd howl at your beauty Like a dog in heat And I'd claw at your heart And I'd tear at your sheet I'd say please, 'cause I'm your man
While he had been singing, his eye never left yours, so vulnerable before you, bearing it all; the sheer emotion in his voice almost knocked you out with its intensity. You had the feeling if he wasn't holding the microphone he would have wrapped both arms around your middle and sang with his chin propped up against your stomach. When your gut tightened at the thought, you decided to remember that little detail for later.
Slowly he stood, releasing your hand, before doing a fancy twirl that made you giggle as he sang.
And if you've got to sleep A moment on the sea I will steer for you And if you want to work the street alone I'll disappear for you And if you want a father for your child Or only want to walk with me a while Across the sand, well— I'm your man
The thing was, Sanji would do that. The truthfulness of his song choice hit you right in the heart. He would be everything for you if you wanted that or if you told him the two of you were through, he'd bow out. (Probably with a lot of crying and yearnful looks but still.) Sanji only wanted the best for you, that you knew with utter certainty.
The chorus repeated as your mind whirled staring unseeing at the ground as you thought about your life with Sanji and just how happy he made you. He was so giving, it was amazing to see how deep that well ran, it felt like you could never reach the bottom of his love.
Warm fingers broke you out of your woolgathering and you blinked as Sanji smiled, caressing your cheek gently. He sang the final line of the song, eye half-lidded as he stared at you.
I'm your man, 'Cause I'm your man
It sounded like a promise, like a vow he was saying he'd never break and you surged forward, pulling him into a hug, tears gathering in your eyes at his loyalty and your heart felt like it might burst from the sheer amount of love Sanji poured into you.
You couldn't be happier to call him your man.
#bee writes#bee writing#one piece x reader#sanji x reader#black leg sanji#one piece#one piece songfic
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i had an idea, if you don't mind hearing it. saltbaker shows a lot of regret for his actions, and i believe it would affect his ability to sleep. depression and anxiety tend to do that you know? so, that being said, what if he had some comfort from his significant other singing a lullaby to him? specifically, the song i had in mind was "rises the moon" by liana flores. maybe it could be the first time he ever heard them sing.
Awww, I like this prompt! 💕💕💕
I actually have never heard of "Rises the Moon" by Liana Flores (or at least have heard it before, I just didn't remember), but when I did it was such a sweet little song!
As for anxiety and depression, I can relate to that immensely. I have it myself and it does affect my sleeping patterns, causing me to wake up in the middle of the night for no reason and then struggle to go back to sleep.
I kinda wish I had a special someone who can lull me to sleep :'')
Rises the Moon
It broke your heart knowing that Chef Saltbaker wasn't getting the sleep he needed. He would often make excuses and say that he's just staying up late for the bakery. But you knew better.
You've tried to take him back to bed before, only to have him be fully awake by your side. He was fidgety, constantly on his feet, unable to rest like a ghost stuck in a neverending purgatory.
This time you found Chef Saltbaker in his kitchen, his back turned towards you, his fingers tapping on the counter nervously. His breathing could be heard from afar, the poor thing. He was panicking and he could not shake the feeling away.
You approached him slowly, placing a gentle hand up against his upper back, rubbing him sweetly. You then wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, resting your head against him.
You began to hum...
🎶Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end
Sun digs its heels to taunt you
But after sunlit days, one thing stays the same
🎶 Days fade into a watercolour blur
Rises the moon 🎶
Chef Saltbaker paused. He turned his head. Your voice... He had never heard you sing before...
Memories swim and haunt you
But look into the lake, shimmering like smoke
🎶 Oh-oh, close your weary eyes
Rises the moon 🎶
Slowly, he finally turned towards you, his eyes meeting yours, brimming with tears. His lower lip quivered.
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To darken fading summer skies
🎶 Days pull you down just like a sinking ship
Breathe, breathe, breathe 🎶
Your hands cupped his face, catching falling tears with your thumbs. He breathed in and out as you gently lead him away from the counter by the hand.
Floating is getting harder
But tread the water, child, and know that meanwhile
🎶 Days pull you up just like a daffodil
Rises the moon 🎶
The two of you walked away from the kitchen and all the way into the bedroom. Chef Saltbaker followed behind, exhausted yet mesmerized by your enchanting singing.
Uprooted from its garden
They'll tell you what you owe, but know even so
🎶 You'll be visited by sleep
Rises the moon 🎶
You sat down on the bed, your arms outstretched for a warm hug. Chef Saltbaker complied, crawling into your embrace, resting his head upon your bosom.
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To steal away each dream you keep
Breathe, breathe, breathe 🎶
You smiled. Finally.
Planting a kiss on the top of his head, you fell asleep with your beloved snuggled up against you. Finally...
#chef saltbaker x reader#chef saltbaker#cuphead#cuphead the delicious last course#cuphead dlc#the delicious last course#my writing#answered asks#rises the moon#anxiety#depression
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mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good
a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)
this took way to fucking long... i’m tired
below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.
Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame
(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.
Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe
(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)
Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon
(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.
Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)
(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.
GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg
(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.
Protected (completed) by aenqua
(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut
The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo
(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.
The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu
(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).
This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo
dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.
Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo
(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.
TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm
techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.
It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear
dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).
Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha
(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.
Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea
(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.
Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice
george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.
roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu
laser tag. 10/10
solar system (completed) by quartzfia
(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.
Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic
ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.
Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier
(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.
00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams
(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.
Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy
(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.
Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana
(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?
The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice
(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.
Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake
(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.
Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound
(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.
Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms
george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.
lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP
(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.
Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart
(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.
Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles
(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.
living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh
(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.
Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea
i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.
thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills
(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).
All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001
(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*
online love (completed) by andbutso
(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom
Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams
dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing
dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat
george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god
Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle
wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)
The color orange (completed) by anon
(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset
Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears
they’re dads :,)
Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes
(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete
Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine
(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.
Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter
(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect
When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo
(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.
Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice
george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)
Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice
(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)
Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies
dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.
Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon
when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.
Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias
(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.
seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies
ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).
Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser
(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.
the waves (completed) by anon
(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.
The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)
(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.
last updated February 6th, 2021
#dnf#dreamnotfound#dream not found#dreamnotfound fic#dreamnotfound fanfic#dreamnotfound fanfiction#dnf fic#dnf fanfic#dnf fanfiction#dnf fic rec#dreamnotfound fanfiction recommendations#dreamwastaken#georgenotfound#i’m ok i swear#i read too much fanfiction#i should probably go to bed
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AFTG fic recs
Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :)
Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!
WIPs
Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )
Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski
Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.
Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*
Chapters: 8/9
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil,
--
Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )
This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.
Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?
This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.
Chapters: 11/?
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,
--
the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty )
Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.
At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.
-
Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!
The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!!
Chapters: 10/11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Canon typical violence,
--
The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )
Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.
For this was a house full of monsters.
Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic.
Chapters: 6/?
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries,
--
Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary )
Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?
But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.
Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters
Chapters: 14/?
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence,
~~~~~~~~~
Complete
The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )
Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.
So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.
-
Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.
I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.
Chapters: 14/14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point,
--
that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )
Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’
Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too
Chapters: 24/24
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)
--
The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )
Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.
How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.
-
Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.
Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.
Chapters: 10/10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring,
--
This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )
“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”
Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”
—
Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.
A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>
Chapters: 10/10
Rating: Mature
Warnings:
--
When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh
Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.
He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.
Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.
But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.
A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.
Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about
Chapters: 12/12
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks
--
12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )
Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?
Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.
But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.
The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic.
Chapters: 14/14
Rating: Mature
Warnings:
--
finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites )
Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…
This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)
Chapters: 8/8
Rating: Mature
Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”
-----
Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )
Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.
~
"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.
"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."
Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.
"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."
~
The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.
It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.
Chapters: 36/36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher,
Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.
#also!! btw i would love if anyone has more fic recs >> just an fyi >>#idk if demesh doesn't have a tumblr but i couldn't find one :(#also major816 for some reason i can never tag and idk why#aftg#all for the game#andreil#the foxhole court#tfc#andrew minyard#neil josten#fic rec#rec list
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Welcome to the internet
PLATONIC TOMMY X READER
Summery: y/n is older then Tommy, and once Tommy gets to his reach of fame y/n finally shows him the mess that the internet really is
A/N: this song is just *chefs kiss*
Warning(s): mentions of racism, cussing, minor talks about murder, it mentions rule 34…soooo…..do with that what you must (“and a bunch of colored pencil drawings of all the different character of Harry Potter fucking each other“ is the line)
You slid in front of Tommy and placed on a large smile on your face, dragging Tommy to your computer you started humming slightly.
“Welcome to the internet! Have a look around Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found We've got mountains of content—some better, some worse If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first”
You exclaimed happily, Tommy nodded in agreement before laughing.
”My job is streaming for the internet to see, of course I know that!” Tommy brushed off. You laughed breathlessly a little bit before saying again
“Welcome to the internet! Come and take a seat”
you offered, patting the chair next to you. Tommy happily accepted and sat down on the chair next to you.
“Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?”
You asked as you pulled up countless of pictures of fake News that spread like wildfires greedily licking up all the little things that celebrities said and putting them out of context, or just making up random shit and posting it on their new magazine cover to get more people to but their products that they got. Then, you quickly pulled up pictures of women getting sexualized for practically nothing. Through all of this, Tommy just stood their in silence, frozen still.
“There's no need to panic; this isn't a test, haha Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest”
Tommy, still frozen, looked at the screen as you got ready to pull up more pages of the internet
“Welcome to the internet! What would you prefer?”
You proceed, quickly typing some things in on your keyboard before clicking “enter“ and showing Tommy what you mean Whenever you say that you need a break from the internet and take a couple months (or even years when it gets really bad) of not posting or anything.
”Would you like to fight for civil rights?”
You showed Tommy the BLM movement. Tommy smiled and nodded his head ‘yes.’
“Or tweet a racial slur?”
You showed the countless of tweets that showed up as famous celebrities posted about how the BLM movement was stupid.
“Why would I do that—“ Tommy was cut off by you picking up your speech a little.
“Be happy!”
You opened up the Spotify app
”Be horny!”
You opened up the Wattpad app
”Be bursting with rage!”
you opened up Twitter once more
“We’ve got a million ways to engage!”
You cheered as you showed Tommy the different apps and internet searches you could go off of.
“Well, yes, I know that but isn’t there a different way to—“ Tonly was cut off again by you explaining more.
“Welcome to the internet! Put your cares aside”
You seemed to e going slightly more irritated with yourself as you kept on going.
“Here's a tip for straining pasta;”
Tommy relaxed a little as you put up tips for straining pasta, maybe there was only a tiny part of the internet that was bad.
“here's a nine-year-old who died”
You pulled up countless of articles, and Tommy’s breath caught in his throat as he stared down at the mess of the internet. One minute was pasta and the other is was death? What the fuck!?
”We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports”
Tommy looked bewildered, as if the fact about a ton of nine-year-olds dying was the same as saying it was a sunny day outside.
“And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other”
”I—I beg your fucking pardon!?” Tommy exclaimed looking even more baffled.
”Welcome to the internet! Hold on to your socks 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock They are grainy and off-putting; he just sent you more Don't act surprised—you know you like it, you whore”
”Y/n….what has been happening!?” Tommy yelled as he stared at you in a worried expression.
“See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think Start a rumor, buy a broomer, send a death threat to a boomer Or DM a girl and groom her; do a zoomer find a tumor in your— Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom Here's why women never fuck you; here's how you can build a bomb Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids”
Tears started to fall from your eyes as you stared down at the phone that held internet.
“Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything all of the time Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything all of the time”
You rambled on as the phone shook in your hands violently.
“Not very long ago, just before your time Right before the towers fell, circa '99 This was catalogs, travel blogs, a chatroom or two We set our sights and spent our nights waiting for you! You, insatiable you Mommy let you use her iPad; you were barely two And it did all the things we designed it to do Now, look at you! Oh, look at you! You, you! Unstoppable, watchable Your time is now, your inside's out, honey, how you grew And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do? It was always the plan to put the world in your hand”
You let out a weak smiling, remembering all the good memories that you had almost forgotten. They almost faded in the back of your head and lost.
Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A bit of everything all of the time Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything all of the time Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything and anything and everything And anything and everything and All of the time
#Spotify#story songs#song reference#dream smp#dream smp x you#tommyinnit#mcyt x y/n#mcytumblr#mcyt imagine#mcyt x you#mcyt x reader#mcyters#mcyt#mcyt fanfiction#tommyinit dsmp#tommyinit x reader#i got lazy at the end
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HI!! I was gonna suggest tongue tied by grouplove but then i found it in ciara's playlist yes!!*chefs kiss*
Also copied ask but would love to see the ROs in fake-out make-out scenario too if you don't mind 👀
pls don't mind me casually stalking your blog and stealing all the song recs
I think I've never seen this type of IF and as a music enthusiast I'm very excited to this story! I wish you good luck! 💛
oops my hand slipped and i wrote mini drabbles for everyone (with a sprinkle of angst)
under the cut 👇
ciara: “can you do me a favor?” ciara asks. you’re sitting in her office, prime for the latest interview she’s writing. “pretend to be my partner for a second.”
“what?” you ask, thrown by this request. ciara looks into the hallway, then back at you. she clicks her tongue, then leans across the desk. she fists her hands in your shirt, and presses her lips to your own.
you respond immediately, sliding your fingers into her hair and deepening the kiss. the positioning is awkward and uncomfortable, but you hardly notice. ciara’s lips are soft and pliant, and they make everything else fade into the background.
she pulls away, and goes right back to her computer. “coworkers,” she says, like that’s enough of an explanation. to you, it’s not.
winslow: “i need you to trust me,” winslow murmurs in your ear. it’s dark, the light from the street lamp casting his face in harsh shadows. you hear the chatter of a group of people coming up behind you. winslow’s hand finds your own, and you look up at him, eyebrow raised.
he tugs you towards the wall of a nearby building. he backs you against it, and places his hands on your waist. “just go with it,” he whispers. to your surprise, he kisses you.
it’s hard and messy, but you don’t mind. the bricks dig into your back, but you don’t care about that, either. you can only focus on the delirious feeling of winslow’s lips on yours, his hands on your waist.
as soon as the kiss started, it’s over. winslow pulls away, an apologetic look in his eyes. “paparazzi,” he says. still reeling, all you can muster is a nod in response.
elijah: “are you two in love?” is a loaded question on its own, but even more so when it comes from the mouth of a 9-year-old. you love elijah’s students, but they’re nosy. to an extreme extent.
“yes, we are,” you say, feeling bold. you loop your arm with elijah’s, despite his stuttering. the kid lets out an impressive ew! and bolts away, no doubt to tell her friends all about the encounter. “hey,” you say to elijah in a low voice. “come here.”
elijah can scarcely utter what? before you’re kissing him, in the middle of a elementary school playground. elijah makes a quiet noise and loops his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer.
when you part, elijah looks dazed. “what was that for?” he asks, breathless.
you grin. “maybe your students will finally leave you alone,” you say, patting his cheek. elijah nods, but you can’t help but think he looks slightly disappointed.
margot: you never, ever want to invoke the wrath of jacob, the sound guy. unfortunately, you did just that, and now you’re bolting down the backstage halls of radio city. you skid to a halt in front of margot, and grab her arm.
“help me,” you hiss, the sound of jacob’s heavy boots on the concrete floor getting closer. margot blinks at you, evidently trying very hard not to laugh.
jacob is rounding the corner. in an act of sheer desperation, you press your lips to hers. you hear margot gasp, then her hands are on either side of your face, dragging you closer still. you don’t know how long you stay like that, wrapped up in each other, when you part, jacob is nowhere to be seen.
“is he gone?” you ask. your arms are still wrapped around margot’s waist.
“oh, is that what this was for? avoiding jacob?” margot asks blithely, sliding out of your grip. “glad i could help.” before you can respond she’s gone her own footsteps echoing around the hall.
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point of no return (georgenotfound x f!reader)
author: me! @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t
word count: 3.6k +
warnings: maybe a bit of angst, hella fluff? if there’s any you think you see, let me know!
A/N: first off: hi guys! this is my first fic ever (i’m a noob lmao), so please be gentle! i am in the process of writing some more about whoever I feel like simping for next... probably still George, mi amor *kisses* and second: to whoever’s reading this: stay hydrated, smile and laugh! let me know what y’all think! *sending besitos to y’all :))
Sometimes it was hard to find the words to say I like you, much less, “I love you”. For (y/n), it was easy to say it to anyone. Friends, family, ex boyfriends. Everyone. Everyone but him. Pacing across her room in the flat she shared with George, all she could feel were her nerves on edge. Down the hall, in his own room engaging in a do not laugh match with Dream in Minecraft, George sits oblivious to the predicament (y/n) has currently placed herself in.
Her phone chimes with an incoming text from the man invading her thoughts -
GogyBogy: just about to finish up with Dream. movie night? your choice?
She can’t help but let out a soft scoff, but smiled and typed a yes back, slowly getting ready to head downstairs to make the popcorn and pull out the assortment of films to decide to watch.
It’s not like she knew that she was attracted to him the whole time. It had only been recently, when George decided to attempt a cooking stream, and all she could do was focus on how he had spent time looking for the best outfit for the stream.
“I have to look like I know what I’m doing, you know, I’m Chef George!”, letting out a giggle as he perfects his outfit. Maybe it was how he looked in his outfit, or maybe it was how his hair looked soft to run her hands through. One thing she knew for sure: like a shit ton of bricks, she was over the moon for him, and she just realized that now.
Since her earth-shattering realization, (y/n) has tried her best to remain cool and collected around George. There have been a few mishaps, though. One incident in mind merely happening just this morning. >>>
Cooking eggs in a skillet, (y/n) hums lyrics to a popular song, eyes closing every so often fighting to stay awake. Finding plates for two, she starts to flip the eggs, humming louder each passing minute, only loud enough to fill the empty room. Lost in the focus to flipping the eggs, she fails to notice George trudging in, pulling another late night editing videos for his YouTube channels.
“Isn’t it a bit early to be singing?” George mumbles, as she pauses mid-song. “How else am I to wake? It’s either I hum, or I blast some album full blast on Spotify. Want to listen to One Direction then? They have the Best Song Ever” (y/n) chuckles.
“Touché”. He remarks, (y/n) laughs and deciding that the eggs are fully cooked, she plates them, and adds garnish, consisting of pepper and a pinch of salt.
“Do you want tea?” (y/n) asks, as George responds with a yes.
“Can you get the mugs then? I’ll start heating water in the kettle” she asks as she starts looking for the kettle.
“Mugs are already on the table, and I’ve just grabbed the kettle. Let me do it, you’ve made breakfast this morning.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m right here already- “ (y/n) says as George quickly moves to the sink, filling up the kettle with water. “Don’t worry! I am an expert on making tea, (y/n)” George states, with a scoff rolling off of (y/n)’s lips.
“Right, and I’ll be the next Queen of England” she snorts, finally pleased with her creation. Turning around to put the finished masterpiece on the table, she jumps back realizing that George is right in front of her.
“What the heck!?” she asks as she’s still balancing the two plates on her hands. George only stifles a small smile.
“I told you, I’ll make the tea”, he replies. (y/n) opens her mouth to object with something snarky when all thoughts have gone out the window.
George, in the midst of heating the kettle, leans forward unconsciously holding onto (y/n)’s waist, as he reaches behind her to place the kettle on the burner next to the previously used skillet. Not only does she feel him grasping her waist, it then emphasizes that she’s trapped between the stove and George. So much for avoiding feelings, (y/n) thought.
He returns to his previous position, not yet letting go of (y/n)’s waist. Whether it be on purpose or on accident, (y/n) couldn’t tell for the life of her, she was focused on not dropping the plates of eggs. (y/n) then quirks an eyebrow, as if questioning why he’s still in front of her, holding her waist. George can only look back at her in confusion, eyebrows furrowing.
“I didn’t think you were clumsy to the point you decided to hold onto me”, (y/n) mutters as George’s eyes widen, hand dropping to his side as quick as he placed his hand on (y/n)’s waist. Just as quick as he dropped his hand, (y/n) felt immediate loss on what seems to be like her burning waist.
(y/n) can’t help but look down at the plates of eggs, no doubt that they started to cool off before she glances at his hand. The hand that held her, of course. Cheeks blushing, she attempts to side step at the same time as he does. He laughs and tries to side step in the opposite direction, yet she can’t help but make the same mistake again. Hearing George giggle at the latest mishap, (y/n) tears her eyes away from his hand the eggs to look up at him.
Her breath once again hitches at the close proximity between the two. She can’t help but glance at his hair, smiling at how messy his waves look. Looking lower, she stares at his eyes, his eyes staring back with humor, probably to their blunders only moments ago. With eyes slowly decreasing of crinkles, he takes a small breath, just pausing as he looks at (y/n) with renewed curiosity. (y/n) slowly starts to glance even lower, settling at just his lips. She sees words coming out of his mouth, yet she’s zoned into the idea if her lips would mesh well with his. Maybe it’s her imagination, but George seems to pause and reciprocate the idea of looking at (y/n)’s lips, licking his bottom lip slightly to ease the dryness that seemed to fill the air.
Minds contemplating, (y/n) decides to inch her face closer to George, with George seeming to think the same. - Just a few more milli-
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! The tea kettle whistles and George immediately jumps back, at a loss for words. Embarrassed at his sudden action, (y/n) hangs her head down, and mumbles out,
“I- I uh think I’ll have the tea later. Enjoy your breakfast. Wait, lun-, oh whatever”, (y/n) rushes out as she speed-walks to her room, with both cold plates of eggs, sweaty hands, and a confused George still holding onto the tea kettle, seemingly at odds with what just happened.
>>>
Maybe I’m just going crazy, (y/n) thought as she starts to heat up the popcorn. Quarantine is still in effect, and it has been a while since she’s seen other people. She’s only seen George and George only. Not that she minds, of course. With a sigh, she turns to the microwave, running her thoughts back to this morning, lost in her thoughts. Were we about to...?
“(y/n)!” George whispers. She whips her head around to see George standing in the doorway leading to the living room, a faint glow of yellow behind him. “Yes?” (y/n) asks as she takes the popcorn out of the microwave, cursing as she burns her hand on the paper bag.
“Isn’t it your choice tonight to decide on a movie?” He ponders, walking towards (y/n), her taking an instinctive step back. George raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question the sudden movement.
“I think so. How do you feel about Harry Potter?”
“Oh, come on! We watched Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 when you chose last time!” George groans as (y/n) moves past him into the living room, dead set on the film.
“So, we can start over again! Sorcerer’s Stone it is!”
“I don’t see how this- “ “George, please?”
Taking a moment to glance at (y/n), DVD in one hand, the other wrapped around her waist, George mutters a yes as she begins to put in the film.
“If we watch this, you’re playing Minecraft next time on stream”, he grumbles, grabbing a blanket to wrap around his body before settling onto the three-seater couch.
“I mean I suppose so…” (y/n) chuckles, grabbing another blanket and settles onto the couch. Only as she sat down did she realize she’s sitting in the middle of the couch, George sitting to the right of her.
“Didn’t we decide that you would sit on the left end of the couch and I would be at the other end, since you kick, and I tend to shuffle around a lot?” George smirks.
“I- “ (y/n) pauses. It’s true, she thought. She assumes she was happy choosing the film, that she decided to plop down beside him. Or so she thought. After taking a minute, she sighs and replies,
“Would you like me to mo- “ “No! It’s fine! Just unusual is all.” George says quietly.
“I can move if you want me to. I don’t have cooties, but I can move if you’d like.” (y/n) mumbles. Her heart slowly starts to beat faster with each passing second as silence begins to fill the room, the only light being the t.v. radiating in the background. Don’t make me move, George, (y/n) prays inside her thoughts.
After about a minute, George shakes his head.
“It’s fine. Sit!” He chuckles, before settling deeper into his spot. (y/n) breathes out a sigh of relief, thanking the heavens for him not noticing how much she’s blushing.
I’m fine, it’s just George, (y/n) repeats inside her head, no doubt failing. The movie begins to play, and (y/n) feels all of her worries fade away, smiling at watching her favorite childhood movie again. Relaxing deeper into the couch, her mind wanders back to the earlier memory of this morning again. Mind going numb with endless ideas, she failed to notice George’s arm tucked behind her head absentmindedly pulling her strands of her hair. He moves his hand slowly down to rest on her left shoulder, rubbing endless amounts of shapes, searing the imprint of warmth. Chest tight, she realizes the state she’s in with George, feeling the pressure raise higher as his hand remains there. (y/n) starts to sit frigidly, as if one wrong movement could set off dominoes. In this case, another awkward situation with the man she’s found herself lost for.
Where are we even in the movie? Really? Harry going to the zoo? Holy- (y/n)’s thoughts pause as George softly grips her shoulder - with her tensing up even more - before removing his hand to rest at his side, and (y/n) blushing at the sudden loss of contact. Cursing at her awkward being, she starts to readjust, hoping that George wouldn’t notice how wound up she is all from him. All from a shoulder touch, and she’s fully convinced she won’t ever recover from the man that is shy, sweet, confusing George. Still readjusting herself on the couch, she manages to cross her legs under her, holding onto George’s left thigh. Eyes wide, feeling George tense up, she manages to turn her head a bit to the side, to see George’s gaze on his thigh. (y/n) retracts her hand away.
“Sorry, you know how long these movies are…”, she mutters, cheeks flushing at the close contact. George can only cough and nod as he tries to focus back into the movie. I don’t know how much longer I can take this, (y/n) repeats into her head, trying to zone back into the movie.
>>>
How (y/n) was able to watch half of the movie without dying of embarrassment, she did not know. But she was thankful to appear normal in front of him, or so she would hope. Rigid with each movement, she felt scared making a move with the worry that she’d cause an uncomfortable situation. Yet, her head thought otherwise. I think I’d do just about anything for his warmth on me again, even if it’s just his hand on my shoulders, (y/n) thought.
The Golden Trio met Fluffy for the first time, and all (y/n) could think about (besides the man next to her) was going to Hogwarts, wishing it was real. The spells, the robes, Quidditch, everything about the universe has always called out to (y/n), and all she could do was endlessly hope it could potentially be a reality, even if she did look foolish for believing in that. George managed to discreetly glance to the side and see her dazed eyes zeroed onto the screen, and mouth moving to quote each line. All he could do was stare in awe, of her knowledge of this magical world, her persistence to memorizing each spell, and how there seemed to be a basking glow upon her figure. She looked like heaven, the epitome of warmth. What (y/n) couldn’t see was that he too, was enamored with her as she was with him.
George had an idea to test the waters. If she responded, he would continue. If she didn’t, he’d forget all about it and attempt to move on from the woman he was sure was the one. (y/n) saw from the corner of her eyes that George readjusted himself that while he was sitting casually beside her, he lowered his hand to rest on his thigh. Heart still stuttering, she lowers her eyes realizing that her thigh is directly next to his, mere millimeters from touching.
Rigid, she sits straight up, unintentionally knocking her thighs into George. She stares at their thighs, chuckles a bit and struggles to watch the movie again, knowing her thigh is definitely touching his thigh. With arms crossed against her waist, she can’t help but watch his hand in the mere hopes that it would ‘accidentally’ brush her thigh.
As she keeps her eye contact on his hand, George begins to tap his pinky finger on his thigh. He taps, wiggles, slides his pinky with his hand still resting on his thigh. While still resting his hand, he slowly starts to move his hand to the left, making it that his hand sat on part of his thigh, and the other part was on top of (y/n)’s thigh, starting to shyly tap his pinky on her thigh. Letting out a gasp, (y/n) could only freeze at his hand - no his pinky - tapping her thigh, and it’s already turning her into a nervous mess. What the hell is he doing to me?, (y/n) asks to herself.
If you go down this route, it’s past the point of no return…
But it’s worth it…
How can you even be sure if he feels the same?
(y/n) can’t help but engage in a battle with her thoughts before finally coming to a decision.
Yes.
With bated breath, she slowly moves her hands to rest on top of her thigh, the hand closest to George shaking slightly. With a bit more confidence, she begins to move her right pinky on her thigh, moving in contradicting patterns, just barely touching George’s thigh. Soon enough, their pinkies start to move in sync, and (y/n) can’t help but bask in his warmth, even if it’s just his pinky. So used to his pinky against hers, (y/n) eventually hooks her pinky against his, effectively stopping their movements.
George lets out a huff of air, and (y/n) freezes, overthinking that she went too far. A full two minutes pass, only hearing Harry Potter finding the Mirror of Erised, and silence from George himself. Getting ready to back off, she releases a breath and begins to retract her hand from George.
“Okay, I’ll just- “
George shuts her up with his hand on top of hers, effectively placing his hand of top of their thighs. He then releases a shuddering breath, only to be met with complete silence. (y/n) looks at their thighs, then their hands, then George, back to the movie, to him again. She starts to find the words, only to come out with nothing. What can come out of her mouth besides, your heart is all I need.
Taking a minute to regain her composure, she lowers her guard, opening her hand so slightly that his fingers fill in the spots in-between hers. With a soft smile, he slowly grips her fingers, starting to rub her thumb with his.
“I don’t think you understand how long I’ve wanted to hold your hand,” George mutters quietly, as if he were to speak any louder, he’d shatter the moment, whatever this moment is.
“And you think I haven’t?” (y/n) asks.
“I didn’t say that,” George pauses. “How would I know? There weren’t any signals, no signs or hints, (y/n).”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, George. I’m always scared of messing up around you now. I can’t breathe, knowing that we breathe the same air. And how do you think I feel about us living under the same roof? I have to stop myself from tearing my hair out and- and stomping over to your room and just… confess. I’ve become desperate for your touch, yet I’m scared that if we pass that boundary, you wouldn’t feel the same! I mean, look at this morning, y- you- we almost kissed and you didn’t say anything! I assumed you just thought it was nothing, and we’d work past it. How is it not obvious that I’m in love with you!?” (y/n) blurts out, ripping her hand away from his, only for him to grip her hand again. Despite the nerves in her veins, she can’t help but relish in his hand still holding hers.
“Can you tell that my hands are shaking? Because they are, (y/n). Is it obvious that I don’t know what to do in situations like this? All I know is that just one look at you, I fall apart. I-I-I can’t begin to count all the times I’ve wanted to hold your hand. And that’s just holding your hand. Kissing you, calling you my Love, Darling, my Everything? I don’t know what else to say except that I fall apart from you. Everything you do makes me scared and I have no idea what to do, because I am just now realizing how much I adore you.” George confesses. (y/n) can only stare back with adoration, yet confusion swirling in her thoughts.
“You know, I can tell everyone how I feel. I love my mom, I love my sister, I love pets, I love One Direction, for gods’ sake! Yet if I say that to you… why is it that I feel like I would break apart? Saying those three words to you just confirms that I am so hopelessly in love with you, and anxious to tell you to be mine. Screw it, I want you to be mine, I’ve been yours. I am yours. I want everything and anything with you, and all I need is a yes. A yes from you is it for me.” (y/n) replies.
“I’m not good with my feelings, expressing them, especially with this. There’s no turning back.”
“Stop giving excuses.” She scoffs.
“I’m not. I’m giving you a way out. In the case that one day, you might not think that I am enough for you.”
“Who said you weren’t? You’re everything to me.” (y/n) says, and George whips his head up to face her. She continues on,
“I’m ready to be yours. Hell, I am yours. I-I can’t even begin to say how much I- “ “Love you. I love you, (y/n).” George blurts out, hands still grasping hers. Gasping, she takes a deep breath, finally ready to succumb to her desires.
“I love you, George.” (y/n) admits. George closes his eyes and softly smiles, before opening his eyes and looking back at (y/n). Now when he’s looking at her, does (y/n) realize how reciprocated her love for him was. Raising their conjoined hands to her face level, she places a kiss to his hands, with George releasing a heavy breath at the intimate action. With a smile, she lets go of his hands, George whining at the loss of contact of her hands.
“I think you’ll like this more.” (y/n) laughs. Slowly, she brings up her hands to cup his face, George immediately melting into her touch. With his head leaning towards one hand, he raises his hands to rub hers once more.
“You really like my hands, huh?” (y/n) remarks.
“They’re officially mine to hold. So, a short answer would be yes.” George smirks as (y/n) hums in content, feeling his stubble tickle the inside of her hands.
Grasping his face, (y/n) slowly tears her gaze away from his eyes to focus onto his lips, and for the first time, there’s a clear sign that he’s feeling the same. They both look at each other one last time, fully taken with one another, the space between them reducing by millimeters.
This is-
Finally capturing her lips, George shivers as (y/n) gasps into their kiss. Maybe he’s the heaven I’ve imagined. Perfection, (y/n) thought. After what seems to be minutes of giving into their desires, they pull back, chests heaving. George’s lips swollen, (y/n) can’t help but steal another kiss, earning a chuckle from George.
“I love you. You’re it for me. I- I love you” (y/n) repeats. George smiles for what seems to be the millionth time that day and says,
“I love you, (y/n). I- I am yours, and you’re mine.” George gushes. Going in for the third, but not final time, they embrace and kiss sweet nothings into their lips, each as a promise to love each other with no holding back.
#georgenotfound#gnf#georgenotfound x reader#gnf x reader#georgenotfound x y/n#gnf x y/n#georgenotfound x oc#gnf x oc#georgenotfound x you#gnf x you#myct george#myct x reader#myct#george myct#gnf myct#georgenotfound myct
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Here’s a very messy first draft of a fic I’m working on! There will be five parts, which I’ll post together on Ao3 once theyre all done. This is the first part!
I’ll edit this for ao3 but I was too excited about it and wanted to post it here first before I did RIP
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There are many things Luz admits she doesn’t understand. She can’t figure out how cars work, and she’s not so sure about long division. But, she thinks, as she watches her girlfriend chop up vegetables in the fading light of the setting sun, some things she does understand.
“How did you get so good at this?” Luz asks, stepping closer to peer over Amity’s shoulder. Every cut is perfect, each individual piece almost exactly like the one before. It makes sense. It is so Amity.
“Don’t get excited,” Amity warns, tipping the vegetables into a pot of boiling water. “This is all I know how to cook. I had a chef growing up.” She blushes brightly, and Luz grins. Amity blushing has become one of her Top Five Favorite Things, right under Azura and above Hexside.
Amity herself, of course, is above them all.
“Sorry,” Amity says sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to sound spoiled or anything, it’s just- my parents don’t cook, and they don’t have time to-”
“Amity. It’s fine.” Luz laughs, and Amity’s blush intensifies. Luz is about to say something about it when Eda bursts into the room with all the subtlety of a hurricane. “Look what I foooound,” she sings, proudly presenting something extremely dusty and unidentifiable. Luz and Amity raise their eyebrows in unison.
“Uh, what is it?” Luz asks.
“It’s a human-” Eda pauses. “Okay, I’ll admit, I have absolutely no idea what it is. But it’s cool looking and I like it.” “Another human treasure? Lemme see!”
“Suit yourself,” Eda says, and hands it over.
The thing is heavier than Luz expected, and she grunts as she puts it down quickly on the kitchen table.
“Dang, Owl Lady, you’ve got strong arms,” she says.
“I work out,” Eda responds, flexing her muscles.
Amity and Luz look at each other, and then at Eda. They blink.
“Fine,” Eda says. “Buzzkills. I don’t work out. You caught me, congratulations.” She stalks out of the kitchen, muttering something about “dumb kids and their dumb honesty”.
Luz snorts and turns her attention back to the thing on the counter. “Let’s see what we’ve got here,” she says, and blows the dust off. Once the cloud clears, the thing begins to take shape, and Luz squeals. “A record player! With a record on it! This is amazing! My mom has one of these back home!”
“Record player?” Amity says. “What does it do?”
Luz grins, always happy to show off her human knowledge. “I’ll show you,” she says, and sets the pin on the groove of the record. It’s silent for a moment, but then a slow tune echoes through the room. There are no words in the song, and Luz has no idea who wrote it, but she’s in awe.
“Wow,” Amity says, echoing Luz’s thoughts. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah,” Luz agrees, completely entranced by the melody. Once the song fades away and the next one starts, she gets an idea. She regards Amity out of the corner of her eye, gathers her courage, and says “Amity Blight, may I have this dance?”
Surprise flashes across Amity’s face, but she recovers impressively quickly.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
She reaches out her hand and Luz takes it, gently guiding Amity to the middle of the kitchen. Amity hesitantly puts her arm around Luz’s waist, pulling her closer, as Luz puts a hand on Amity’s shoulder. It feels familiar, and when they start swaying around the kitchen, Amity starts to laugh.
“What? What’s so funny? Did I do something?”
“No, no,” Amity says, tightening her hold around Luz’s waist. “It’s just...this is so different from our first dance together.”
“Our first...oh, you mean Grom!”
Amity takes a step backwards, and Luz follows, trying not to trip over her own feet.
“Yes I mean Grom!”
They dance in silence for a moment, moonlight shining through the window.
“Hey,” Luz starts, not sure if she wants the answer to the question she’s about to ask. “Who did you wanna take to Grom, anyway?”
Amity stares blankly at her for a few seconds, and for a moment Luz is worried she said something out of turn. But then she smiles softly, so softly that Luz’s heart does a funny thing in her chest, and she’s pretty sure that, for a second, she can’t breathe.
“It was you, Luz,” Amity says quietly. “It was always you.”
Luz stops dancing. She stops blinking. She stops breathing.
“Uh, Luz?” Amity says, sounding worried. “Are you okay?”
Luz blinks, comes back into herself, and says “YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME TO GROM????”
“Yes? Why is that a surprise? You know I...like you.” Amity blushes again. They’re still not used to saying these things out loud to each other. It’s a process.
This time, Luz blushes too. “Yeah, but like..that long??? You’ve liked me since Grom???”
“Since before Grom, actually,” Amity admits, looking down at the floor. “It’s...it’s been a long time.”
Luz’s grip on Amity’s shoulder slackens, then tightens again.”Wow,” she says, breathless. “Me. You’ve liked me for months. You!!!”
Amity giggles. “Me,” she agrees.
Luz knows that the smile on her face is sappy, but she can’t help it. She just likes Amity so much it’s overwhelming sometimes.
They begin to sway again, and Luz feels like she’s in a trance. She can’t believe that one person can make her feel this happy. It’s like magic.
“So,” Amity says, cutting into Luz’s inner monologue, “When was it for you?”
“Huh?”
“When did you start to like me?”
Amity manages, with what looks like supreme willpower, not to blush this time. Luz does not manage the same.
“O-oh,” Luz says, thinking back to all the times she made a fool of herself in front of Amity before they’d started dating. “I don’t know? I mean, I realized it that time you saved my life, but I think I’ve probably liked you for a lot longer than that. Maybe even before Grom.”
“Which time?”
“What?”
“Which time? I save your life a lot,” Amity smirks. Luz rolls her eyes. “Okay, fair,” she says. “But I mean that time at your parents’ presentation. Right after you...when you called me “my Luz.”
“Oh, no, you heard that?” Amity looks extremely embarrassed as she leans forward and hides her face in Luz’s shoulder. Luz tries not to smell her hair. She fails.
“Of course I heard that!” She says when she’s done. “You practically screamed it out loud to a room full of strangers!”
“I did, didn’t I? Wow, I was so obvious!”
Luz rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. “I didn’t notice.”
“What??? How???” Amity asks, picking her head up to look Luz in the eye. “I was a complete mess in front of you for months! What did you think was happening?”
Luz shrugs. “I just thought you were cute, that’s all. In hindsight, though, maybe I should’ve picked up some context clues.”
Amity snorts. “It’s okay. You being oblivious saved me a ton of embarrassment. Until I kissed you on the cheek. That..uh….that was not planned.”
Luz can’t stop the smile that takes over her face. She remembers that day well. She was so focused on finding Phillip’s diary entries and also not making a fool of herself in front of Amity, that she was taken completely by surprise when Amity kissed her. She’s pretty sure she literally fell to the floor afterwards, overwhelmed with the fact that Amity had just kissed her and suddenly realizing that maybe, just maybe, her crush liked her too.
“Well I’m glad you did,” she says gently, twirling Amity around once, twice, three times. “I think it’s time for me to return the favor.”
“What do you-”
Before she can think about it long enough to stop herself, Luz leans in and kisses Amity on the cheek.
The world freezes.
Amity looks at her, and she looks at Amity, and Luz’s eyes are so wide, and Amity’s mouth is hanging slightly open, and suddenly Luz is completely, entirely unsure of herself. Her confidence is gone, and suddenly she can hear the ghost of laughter and “Ew, why would anyone want her?” And she realizes she’s made a horrible mistake.
“U-um sorry I-” She stutters, but can’t get a sentence out, until finally she manages “I’m gonna leave now.”
She backs up slowly until her back hits the door, and is about to turn the handle when Amity says “Luz, this is your house.”
“Drat,” Luz says, slapping a hand to her face. “You’re right.”
Amity giggles, hand covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. She’s bright red but so is Luz, and suddenly Luz is laughing too.
They laugh together for what seems like hours, until finally they manage to subdue themselves, tears in both their eyes.
“Hey,” Amity says softly, once the giggles have stopped. “Come here.”
Luz complies, stepping around the table and over Ghost, who has an unidentifiable animal in her mouth. When she finally reaches Amity, she finds herself pulled into a bone crushing hug. Startled but pleased, she squeezes back, marvelling at the fact that she has the most perfect girl in the world in her arms.
“Look,” Amity says, still wrapped up in the hug. “I know we’re both new at this, and it’s kind of scary, but you don’t have to run away every time you kiss me on the cheek or something. You have nothing to be afraid of, okay? You’re my girlfriend, and I’m not gonna stop liking you.”
Luz sniffles a little and squeezes harder. “You don’t...you don’t think I’m too much?”
“Luz,” Amity says. “I could never get enough of you.”
They stand there like that, swaying slightly in the single stripe of moonlight that comes through the window. When they part, it’s with a sigh, and a silent promise that they’ll come together again.
“Thanks,” Luz says, eyes rimmed red. “You’re a pretty awesome girlfriend.”
Amity smiles. “I know.”
Then she shrugs shyly. “And if you ever want to kiss me again...I wouldn’t be opposed.”
“Noted,” Luz says weakly. She thinks her knees might give out, actually.
When it’s time for Amity to go, Luz walks her to the door, like the gentleman she is. “Goodnight,” she says, trying to ignore Hooty loudly digesting a mouse. She doesn’t want to think about where his stomach even is.
“Goodnight,” Amity says.
They smile dumbly at each other, neither wanting to be the first one to leave. But Amity needs to get home, and the night is moving quickly, so they reluctantly part ways. Amity turns to wave at Luz when she reaches the end of the Owl House’s property, and Luz waves back, stars in her eyes and a breathless wonder at the fact that this girl, this amazing, brilliant, perfect girl, is hers.
There are many things Luz doesn’t understand.
But this, what she and Amity have, the bond she feels growing stronger and stronger every day they spend together; this she does understand.
She closes the door. She doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring, but she knows that as long as she has Amity by her side, everything will be okay.
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