#and all of us deserved to be saved and be spoken about in the same breath. we were all in the same big room together in 1999.

[carnageacorn]

hmmmm. I would argue u could also fight sex trafficking. I would say "snatched" is the problematic verb here... it isn't. hm. it isn't white kidnapped children u should be Specifically anxious about...not that kidnapped white children Don't get sex trafficked because....they very much do.... but it is the uh. Not small number of households where sex abuse is regular and secret and largely unspoken that is where and how sex trafficking is played out. and that IS very very very much a huge issue in middle & upper class white america as well..

the most common and vulnerable childhood sex trafficking victims are refugee & immigrant children that no one knows are lost and no one is looking for or cares about. these children are born and are sold and live and die before they grow up and no one cares about them during that entire time. and it is true that lifting up these communities will make these children safer. same w children in the foster system. but also. sex trafficking & childhood sex abuse are often carried out by the kid's parents who have been good at hiding this for generations and will be good at hiding it for generations to come. this is true in and out of refugee spaces.

maybe just i think saying fighting these other things will fight sex trafficking is maybe diluting the issue. like i think maybe we should talk directly about childhood sex abuse & trafficking, in the same conversation. and include all victims of it in the same conversation.

like. i want to be clear. white children do not suffer childhood sexual abuse at lower rates than nonwhite children. i am not saying. lets keep only worrying about the white ones. but that when u attach the issue specifically to poverty & immigrants u also say. white middle class people are not participating in this problem. when they very much are extremely participating this problem.

[mavrintarou]

[Daddies in December] Hatake Kakashi

Happy New Year! I hope you had a fantastic holiday. I know it's technically January now but I have a few drafts still and I think I can FINALLY get them out. This is long, I just couldn't stop.

Warning: Angst, reconnection, and smut

.

“I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, thank you for taking my class. If you’re in my next class, see you next year.” Kakashi ended his last class for the semester, dismissing his students.

One by one, each of them thanked and complimented him on his class, giving him great feedback.

At last, the door to his class closed and he took a deep breath.

Reaching for his phone in his pocket, he has a few unread messages but none from Y/n.

Ever since she dropped the bomb on him about her pregnancy exactly a week ago, neither has spoken to the other.

Kakashi didn’t exactly take the news well, blurting something he shouldn’t have said and every time he thought about it, he wanted to beat himself up.

“It’s not mine.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. It couldn’t be Kakashi. One, he always wore a condom. Two, he was nearly forty-three and his doctor told him he had low sperm count!

He was not blind to the pain written on her face.

Their last encounter did not end very well.

He used this week as an excuse to get through the semester for his students; now, he must face the consequences.

Day and night, 24/7, Y/n was all he could think about.

He’ll admit that he let his anger get the best of him. He let his past trauma control and dictate his actions towards Y/n, who didn’t deserve any of it.

Kakashi could come up with a million excuses and reasons how it cannot be his child, for one, after his injury during a mission, he was told having any children was no longer an option.

But he couldn’t excuse the fact that she was a virgin when he bedded her and Y/n wasn’t one to have multiple men even if they were officially in a relationship. Their fling was exclusive for the most part. Even if Kakashi had used condoms every time they had sex and had been told he couldn’t have children… there was always a possibility…

He groaned, suddenly remembering a time when they had both just come. Still in a daze of euphoria, he slipped off the filled condom. Only with Y/n, does he ever ejaculate so much. His cock was still erect, oozing with leftover cum.

Kakashi’s eyes glaze over her wet pussy that coated with her wetness.

He had only had raw sex once in his entire life when he was still young and that was the first and the last time he had done so…

But he was so tempted just to be swallowed by Y/n’s hot and tight pussy.

“Just once,” he murmured before slipping his cock, raw, inside of her. Y/n gasped at the same time he groaned, feeling the same bliss of skin on skin. “Just want to be cock-warmed by your pussy…”

Even if he had just allowed her pussy to wrap around his raw cock for a few minutes, that could have resulted in this unplanned pregnancy.

Y/n had no reason to lie to him, she wasn’t one to manipulate and trap him with a child.

He’d known her since she was twelve, he was best friends with her brother who was in the same military unit as him. Who died saving him.  

.

Y/n knew she should have just left the fallen pen on the ground but her determined self wanted to be independent and pick it up.

Now, she was stuck in a crouching position, able to stand back up after successfully grabbing the pen.

Being almost eight months pregnant with twins, with only a solid four weeks left, she was large. Very large.

She gripped the edge of the table, taking deep breaths to build up the strength to stand without peeing in her underwear.

She needed help.

Her assistant Viv was out running a delivery and wouldn’t return for another ten minutes at the earliest. 

“Are you okay?”

Y/n’s head snapped up, eyes meeting the father of her unborn babies. When had he entered her shop? How did she miss the bell ringing at the door? She blinked before looking away embarrassed.

“Why are you down there?” He looked over, frowning.

Taking a deep breath and setting her pride aside, “Kakashi,” she called his name sharply.

“Yes?”

She looked up at him sternly, “I need your help.”

His eyes widen in a flash of panic. “What’s wrong?”

Placing both her hands on the table, she reached out to him, “I can’t get back up, help me.”

Quickly walking around the table, he looked at her, seeing she was crouching down, “are you hurt?”

Y/n shook her head, “no, I just – I just can’t get back up, my belly is too big. Just support me and help me stand.”

Going behind her, Kakashi took her outreached hand and wrapped the other gently below her bulging belly, “slowly…” he cooed lifting her until she could straighten up. As soon as she was back on her feet again she tugged her hand away, walking away from him.

She cleared her throat, wiping her hand on her overalls. “Thank you. What are you doing here?”

Kakashi’s eyes fell on her belly, the last time he saw her was two months ago. “I…” he inhales, “I want to talk.” He noticed her body switching to defense mode, and he took a careful step towards her. “Just talk, that’s all.”

“I’m not sure there is anything to discuss, nothing needs further clarification.” Her tone struggled to stay in control. “You made it clear where you stand.”

Kakashi expected her hostile attitude and gave her a small smile, “you don’t owe me any of your time but I ask kindly, please, can we talk about the baby?”

“No.”

He exhaled softly, she was going to make this difficult for him. “Okay,” he continued to smile at her, “I’ll come back tomorrow and try again.”

She glared at him, and he knew it was meant to make him fear her, but he found her adorable. “My answer will still be no.”

“Then I’ll come back the next day.”

.

The next day, Kakashi returned, with a basket of fruits. The fruits Y/n likes.

“Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

.

Every day Kakashi returned with a gift and would leave with a sigh and his usual phrase as soon as Y/n turned him down, “okay, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

He stopped at the door and turned around, “please at least tell me what you would like for me to bring tomorrow. I’m running out of ideas.”

Before Y/n could tell him anything, Viv answered on her behalf, “Takoyaki please!”

Y/n turned her head, giving her a silent serious look.

“Takoyaki tomorrow then,” he waved before leaving.

“Seriously?” Viv groaned, “the man is doing all that to just talk to you. Can you imagine what he would do when you give in?”

Instead of answering her, Y/n turned her heels and headed to the cooler. Viv followed behind her, carrying the bag of chips and snacks. “I have seriously gained weight from all the gifts he has brought in.”

“Then stop eating it,” Y/n answered rather sharply.

“Well, you won’t eat it, so someone has to?”

Y/n ignored her, grabbing a few bundles of bouquets before heading back to the front of the shop.

“How do you guys know each other?”

Sighing, Y/n answered, “I’ve known him since I was twelve, my brother met him in school and since then he’s been pretty much part of the family.” She grabbed a white rose, one of her favorites. “They both enlisted into the military together and were deployed together.” Her breath hitched, “but Kakashi was the only one who returned home alive.”

Viv leaned over to hug her. She knew about her brother’s death and how it had affected her.

Y/n has barely spoken about Kakashi but it did not take much for Viv to put two and two together to confirm, she asked, “he’s the father of your babies?”

It was a long pause before Y/n answered quietly, “yes.”

“It seems like to me, he wants to be part of your life?”

For a second, Y/n zoned out. “He didn’t want us at first.”

“Key word, at first.” Viv clarified, leaning onto the table. “Not trying to create excuses for him but just stating that people can change overnight. He didn’t want you guys at first but what if he wants you guys now?” She stares silently at Y/n before walking away, “people can change and it could start with their actions.”

.

When Kakashi arrives the next day with two orders of Takoyakis, he glances around the shop looking for Y/n.

Viv greets him and answers his silent question, “she’s resting in the office, she kind of had a rough morning.”

“Ah,” Kakashi nodded, passing the bag of Takoyakis to her. “Maybe this might lighten her mood?”

Viv motioned for him to go on ahead to the back room, “it’s the first door to the left.”

Kakashi gently knocked on the door slightly closed door before slowly opening it. He catches sight of Y/n, her back facing towards him. “Hey…” He froze, hearing a sharp gasp.

Y/n moans, a hand clutching her belly.

A loud pop echoes the room followed by the sound of gushing fluid.

“Ah!”

Kakashi reaches Y/n before she can stumble forward. His eyes widen when he sees the floor wet. “Is that…”

“My water… my water just broke…” She gasps, her hand grips tightly around Kakashi’s arms as her contractions begin.

“What’s going on!” Viv burst through the door and gulped, “are the twins coming?”

“Twins?” Kakashi shouted, he looked at Y/n with wide eyes, “you’re expecting twins?”

.

Kakashi has been watching the chests of the two tiny humans rise and fall in one incubator. He had only discovered a few hours ago that all this time, Y/n was carrying twins.

He is now the father of not one, but two babies. A boy and a girl.

They were early by three weeks, his son is slightly smaller than his sister and has been crying from the separation of his sister after the cesarian surgery that the nurse has kept them together.

Y/n was recovering, and sleeping with the help of some medications and he left her alone to go visit the nursery.

The door to the nursery opened and the nurse peeked her head out, “would you like to come hold them?”

Dressed in a gown, Kakashi’s hands trembled as he neared his babies. They were so small.

“Would you like to hold one at a time or both of them?”

“Both,” Kakashi answered in a heartbeat.

He took a seat in the glider and the nurse carefully handled one baby at a time, setting one in each arm. He can feel his throat tightening at the immense emotions swelling within him.

Their hats were removed and after a wash and dry, Kakashi could see their physical traits.

Though it was faint, their hair was visibly silver just like their father's with Y/n’s eye color.

During the surgery, Kakashi kept his gaze and attention on Y/n, he had never felt so useless, unable to take away any of the pain she was feeling.

As soon as the surgery room echoed with the first cry, a tear slid from the corner of Y/n’s eyes. Kakashi reached to wipe it away, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

A second cry echoes the room along with the first baby and together, Kakashi and Y/n sighed in relief.

“Here are your babies!” the nurse carried them over, bringing them close.

Kakashi has never been a sentimental one but before he knew it, his cheeks were wet. Amidst the bustling room, his focus narrowed to the sight of the two infants’ cheeks nestled against the individual who had been nurturing them for the past few months.

He recalled reaching for his phone and capturing an image to cherish the moment.

Once they settled into a private room, the babies were brought back where Y/n got to hold the both of them for the first time. The nurse spent the next hour informing Y/n and Kakashi on how to care for the babies.

“Do you want to try and nurse them?” the nurse asked.

Y/n nodded, her gaze fixed on the two babies in her arms with affectionate eyes.

Kakashi was on the verge of exiting the room to give them some privacy when Y/n remarked, “it’s all right; you can stay.”

He stayed seated at the end of the bed, watching as the nurse helped Y/n untie her gown. He felt his cheeks flush when her breasts were exposed. Kakashi couldn’t help but notice how full and engorged they looked.

“Hey daddy, why don’t you come closer, you could learn a thing or two.” The nurse urges, waving him over.

Kakashi walked around the bed and sat beside Y/n. He tried to keep his heart rate down as he watched his son immediately suckle cutely the moment he tasted the liquid gold. He chuckles, his finger rubbing his chubby cheek.

His daughter remained snoozing. Kakashi reached to nudge her cheek gently, “hey you.” The tiny baby stirred and yawned adorably before whimpering.

Y/n giggled and brought her over to her other breast, urging and cooing the baby to suckle.

As soon as their feeding was over, Y/n was ordered to rest and the babies were brought back to the nursery. Not wanting to disturb Y/n, Kakashi made his way down to the nursery.

Cradling both infants in his arms felt surreal; he had only recently come to terms with the idea of expecting one baby, and now there were two. During the months when he and Y/n were apart, he discreetly acquired various items. However, he hadn’t presented them to Y/n, uncertain of her willingness to accept them.

An unsettling sense persisted with him, urging him to engage in a conversation with Y/n.

Kakashi truly wants to make it work between him and Y/n, not just for the sake of his babies now but because he really cares for her.

.

Y/n hadn’t voiced it yet, but she was thankful for Kakashi’s presence. Even if they are only working together for the sake of their babies.

She thought she would have to go through this all alone, and though she spent most of her pregnancy alone, she didn’t know what happened for Kakashi to change his mind at the last minute.

Whatever the reason was, she wasn’t going to question it because as much as she did not want to admit it, she needed Kakashi.

When she discovered she was expecting twins, she panicked. She had seen a single mother raise one kid and it already made her nervous but just her luck, she was going to be a single mother and raising two.

Y/n didn’t take the initiative to inform Kakashi about expecting twins, especially considering his initial reluctance towards taking responsibility. When the twins were finally born, she anticipated him making a hasty exit.

Upon waking from each hospital nap, her first thought was a concern about being alone in the room, wondering if he had discreetly left with no intention of returning.

It was as though he could sense it; Kakashi would enter her room and greet her with a smile as she awoke. Every time, he would inquire, “do you want to see the babies?”

He stayed with her for the four days of recovery and insisted on taking them home when they were finally released from the hospital.

Y/n was in no position to decline his offer, accepting it with a soft, “yes, please.” The car ride of them four was quiet. The babies slept through, tucked cozily in their car seats.

She didn’t want to assume or expect, she would take whatever Kakashi had to offer.

“Thank you for the ride,” she said quietly as soon as he parked in front of her apartment. She unbuckled her seat belt and froze when he turned off the engine to his car, unbuckling his seat belt as well. “you’re coming… inside?”

“Of course,” he said with a matter-of-fact tone, “you’re not supposed to be carrying anything more than a few pounds, remember?”

Kakashi carried both babies into the apartment, setting them down on the couch before returning to his car to gather the rest of the other items.

While it was just the three of them, Y/n cooed at her two sleeping babies. “Welcome home.”

.

“Kakashi,” Y/n called his name quietly, he turned his head, looking away from his daughter that’s nestled in the crook of his arm. “I appreciate you being here with us.” She inhaled softly, “but you are not obligated in any way to be here.”

It has been three days, three days of Kakashi giving them his undivided attention. He had told her that he would stay a few nights, only leaving home to shower and grab some items before returning.

Due to her cesarean surgery, she had restricted movements, with swift sitting and standing being prohibited. All remaining activities were geared towards minimizing the risk of reopening her wound.

She wouldn’t have been able to relax and stay off her feet if it wasn’t for the help of Kakashi. He had made their meals, handled the babies, and assisted Y/n with tending to her after-birth wound.

“I don’t want…” her voice croaked, “I don’t want you to feel obligated to be here, because you and I both know – “

“I want to be here. I want to be here because I am choosing to be here, not because I’m obligated,” Kakashi clarified softly. He adjusts his daughter in his arms, “I know there is nothing I can do to take back how I had initially reacted to the pregnancy. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. The only thing I can offer you now are my actions, maybe my words.” He scoots closer until he is sitting beside Y/n who is nursing their son. “I want to be with you and the babies. Through it all. I’m not going anywhere and if I am, it is wherever you three are.”

Y/n stares into Kakashi’s eyes, searching, searching for something she knew was not there. “So,” she whispers, “you want to be with us as their father?”

“Yes.” He answered without a second thought. “I want to do the honorable thing and marry you if you allow.”

“For the sake of the babies?”

Kakashi stammered for a second, “well, that too but I want to be a husband to you.”

“Do you… can you love me?”

Silence sat heavy between them before he answered, “I can learn to love you.” He wasn’t sure if the tears that filled her eyes were tears of joy or pain. They pooled at her lower eyelid, refusing to fall down her cheeks. “I – I don’t know how to love, but I can learn. If you can give me a leeway, I’ll learn to love you.”

Y/n turned away so he wouldn’t see her tears fall as she quickly wiped them with her sleeve. “Okay. I’m okay with that.”

.

Nine months have passed and within that time frame, Kakashi proposed in the presence of their two-month-old babies and moved into their place, taking over the spare room beside Y/n.

They formalized their marriage in the presence of an intimate gathering. Despite being married, they maintained separate sleeping quarters. Their connection remains amicable, marked by occasional displays of affection centered around the babies. Their lives persist with the primary emphasis and priority placed on their little ones.

Y/n continued her life running her flower shop and Kakashi resumed teaching at the university.

With two babies, time went by quicker than they anticipated and before they knew it, winter had arrived and Y/n’s business slowed while Kakashi was on winter break.

It was the night of New Year's Eve, the babies had gone to bed at their usual time leaving Kakashi and Y/n alone. Though they spent many nights alone together, it was exceptionally different, considering that their first night together had happened the same day two years ago.

“Did… you want to watch the ball drop with me?” Kakashi asked when Y/n had finished preparing her nightly tea.

Caught off guard Y/n froze for a split second before answering, “sure, if you don’t mind.”

“Never, never with you.”

Her heart fluttered and she turned away to hide her red cheeks. “Wou – would you like a cup of tea too?”

“Please,” he said softly.

When Y/n returned Kakashi had lit a few candles and had two throw blankets out but he was nowhere in the room. At that moment, he exits the baby's room, returning.

“Emi began fussing but she went right back to sleep with the pacifier.” He reached for the cup of tea.

Y/n stepped forward to hand him the cup when she stumbled, the hot tea spilled onto his hand.

“Oh my God!” she shouted, setting the cup on the coffee table before checking his hand. She immediately tugged her shirt, gently drying his hand to inspect the burn. It was red. “Let me go get some toothpaste!”

She returned with some gauze and the tube of toothpaste and quickly applied it all over his hand before bandaging it up. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay,” he murmured.

Y/n looked up at him with worried eyes, not noticing that he had been quiet and allowing her to tend to his wound. He was happy to have this interaction with her.

Kakashi reached up to brush her hair behind her ear. “Y/n.”

Y/n could melt that instant hearing him call her name, she always loved how he said her name. “Yes?”

“I’m tired of living this way,” his eyes flashed at his choice of words and he quickly corrected himself, “I mean in a way of I am tired of living like we’re strangers but parents to our children.” His eyes search hers, to make sure she didn’t misunderstand his initial words. “I want to be more than a husband to you, I want to be your rock, the person you can rely on.” Kakashi inhales sharply before speaking the next few words. “I want to be someone you love.”

“I do love you, Kakashi,” Y/n replied, “I have loved you for many years since I was probably a teenager.” She rubbed her thumb over his bandaged hand. “You were my first crush and first love. I still love you.” She looked down at his hand, “but you always just saw me as Brian’s little sister.”

With his other hand, Kakashi cupped her face, guiding her to look at him. “It is true, I did see you as Brian’s little cute sister who was so shy when I was around, but when I returned from my first deployment and you were nineteen… a grown woman… believe me when I tell you that you were the most beautiful woman in my life since that day.” He closed his eyes and released a deep breath, “then Brian and I were deployed again and that day – “ he choked on his words. “Days before that day, he had said to me – as if he knew his days were counting down, he said to me ‘I know you have something going for Y/n, I see the way you stare at her. I’ve noticed it. If anything ever happens to me, take care of my sister for me, will ‘ya? You’re the only man I trust with her.’” His thumb reached up to swipe the tear that slipped from her eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t exactly grow up with love or how to love? I learned how to love and be loved the hard way or no way at all. Please – give me grace… teach me how to love, teach me how to be loved, and teach me how to be in love with you because I don’t want it with anyone else.” He pressed his lips against hers. “I just want you love and I want to love you. Teach me how to love you so that you’ll love me back.”

Y/n threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “I love you, Kakashi. I love you and I am in love with you.” She lifts herself to look down at him with a bright smile. “I know you already love me, you show it to me in different ways but I know you love me and our babies.”

“Y/n,” he calls her name huskily.

“Hmm?”

“Please, kiss me…”

Y/n giggles and fulfills his request. Immediately everything around them began to escalate. Kakashi’s hands slipped beneath her shirt, rubbing her back. His fingers fumble with the back of her bra strap. “Kakashi…”

“Sorry, I just… I just miss touching you…”

“No – no please… please touch me. I need you.”

Kakashi groaned, “I need you badly too…”

“But before we have sex – can we share rooms? I… will it be too soon to move into one?” Y/n asked with a tint of pink on her cheeks.

Kakashi smiled, “you have no idea how long I have been dying to share a room with you. I missed you so much.”

“I just thought you didn’t want to sleep with me.”

He shook his head, “no – I wanted to after we got married but I didn’t exactly know how to approach you with that question. I didn’t know if… you wanted your own space still.”

Y/n pecked his lips, “move in, I want you to make love to me every night.”

“You might regret that…”

.

The bed softly creaked against the floor, thrashing against the wall with each slow thrust of Kakashi.

He rolled his hips, grunting each time his cock stroked entirely into her sweet pussy.

“I love you… I have loved you for so long…” His fingers tightened around hers as he pinned them above her head. “I don’t want to waste a second without you anymore…”

“Me too – me too Ka – ashi…” Y/n moaned and gasped, “I’m so close, please –“

Kakashi cut her words with a kiss, his tongue thrusting past her lips to dance with hers. He was close too, it had been too long and he wasn’t going to last much longer.

With deeper rolls of his hips, Kakshi groaned against her mouth as he cums into the condom. He continued to slowly thrust, feeling Y/n’s walls clench and tightly tremble around his cock.

As they came down from their high, Kakashi gazed lovingly down at her. “I might be late but… Happy New Year, I cannot wait to start this year with you and our babies.” Tenderly, he takes her hand, adorned with the wedding ring, and gently kisses it. “I love you, wifey.”

. . .

E/n: Kakashi is so #hearteyes

>>>@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[badkitty3000]

What did you think was ooc for Five?

Great question, and I have already covered it a bit in my post here, but I could probably yammer on all day about it, so I'll add some thoughts.

Season 1 -3 Five was focused, determined, manic, arrogant, sometimes mean, violent, out-spoken, and full of love for his family above all. Yes, he insulted them and had no time or patience for their shit, but considering everything he'd been through and what he was up against, there was a reason for it. Season 4 Five? Ok, yeah, I can buy that maybe he was depressed and didn't really know what to do with himself anymore. Myself and others have certainly written him that way a few times. But, damn, he spent like all of season 3 bitching about wanting to be retired and here he could be! He could have played the stock market a few times, bought a little place somewhere, picked up a nice lady at the local Bingo hall and lived his peaceful live he deserved. Instead, he works (inexplicably) for the government and just wanders around with his sad little trenchcoat and CIA-issued pistol and flashlight, taking orders from The Man and just...existing I guess. I could see if they made it so that he joined the CIA to get inside info on Reginald and he had spent the last 6 years quietly plotting to take him down and get his revenge or set the world straight again. But no...he apparently hadn't even tried to look into anything Reggie was doing? Like he was just "*shrug*, it's probably fine".

Five loves his family above all else. We know this. If not, he wouldn't have spent decades alone fighting to get back to them and save all their stupid asses. Now, all of sudden, he just doesn't seem to care? Yes, he's present and has obviously kept in touch. He goes to the birthday party, etc. But there is zero interaction with Klaus, or his nieces, or even Viktor. When at the end, he finally gets some fight back (although for completely absurd reasons) and snaps at Luther, the whole family gasps in shock like this is some new occurence that Five would be mean to them. And he'd said much worse to them before! So, that leads me to believe he just has spent the last 6 years being a completely different person and everyone forgot he's actually an asshole?

And back to the family thing...fighting his brother over his wife? Falling in love with Lila, the same person who: conspired behind his and Diego's back in Season 2, was raised by his villainous boss, was the daughter of two innocent people he killed, tried to kill him with her fists, a frying pan, her feet, a knife, electrocution; and who he tried to kill multiple times as well. Yes, they have had time to heal some wounds and they have a shared traumatic experience with The Handler but come on...he would never! He would never be attracted to her that way. He would never betray Diego that way. And he certainly wouldn't fight him over her, not when she and Diego are married and have kids together. I don't care how many years they were together alone...just no. Best friends? Sure. Lovers? Fuck no.

Physically, where was his prowess? Five is supposed to be the all-time badass assassin, trained in martial arts and weaponry. His body is young at 19-20 years old, and at the peak of his physical fitness. Even without his powers he should be able to kick some ass, or at least try to. And then when he does have his powers, he just doesn't know how to use them correctly anymore? And again, he looks slow and weak in a fight. His solution to taking down the big Bennifer blob thing was to fire an entire clip at long range at it, and then just go "huh...weird that didn't work". Why wasn't he looking around the mall for a weapon? An axe? Something else to fight against it! That's what he does...that's his THING! We were fucking robbed of a Five-centric badass fight scene, when there were so many opportunities for one. Hell, he could have taken down a room full of Keepers with a fucking ballpoint pen while singing along to Abba's Dancing Queen! Why didn't we get that?

Meeting with Reginald. Remember in Season two when Five met with Reggie at the Tiki bar? He sat and had a drink with him, but it was still tension-filled with a lot of emotion there. Then in Season 3, when he was basically like "you're a sadistic lunatic that is going to kill all of us" and got right in his old man's face and told him he was a giant dick? This time...he's just standing around Reggie's house shooting the shit and not even acting like he's mad. That is just not the same guy. I realize this was supposed to be Viktor's fight with Reggie, but they still could have shown Five to have a little emotion there.

So, there you have it. I could probably keep going, but this is way too long as it is. It's just heartbreaking, really. This character that we have all come to love for all of his complexities and faults and heroics was just diminished to a one-dimensional, uninteresting character with no regard for his family. Basically, just undoing three season's worth of plot and character development. And it's not Aidan's fault. He did the best he could with the shit he was given, and I feel sorry for him. For as much as we love this character, Five was his. He made him come to life and there's not many other actors his age that could have pulled that off. So, I'm sad this was his end. They really did him dirty.

[fatuismooches]

Babey Zandy not knowing fragile reader is so precious.

He hears all about this mysterious person that all of his older versions adore, but he has no clue what they are going on about. He tends to avoid the mystery person's room to avoid tripping on something, so he's never seen them. He's never heard their voice. What's so great about some sleeping grown up?

But then he sees them. The one time he's allowed to go into the room, he's instantly starstruck. He's reminded of the fairytale he'd read about a royal that was cursed to sleep for a thousand years, and he figures that this person was what that royal must have looked like.

A few of the segments chuckle at the reaction the child has. Wide eyes, slack jaw, it's cute. But then Zandy turns and asks,

"This is who we marry when we grow up? Did we finally do something good?"

The segments collectively think that no, they hadn't done anything good. Not enough to deserve their lover, anyway. But the sleeping beauty still chose to love them. That was more than enough for the blue haired maniacs.

MY HEART BRO... MY HEART. THIS IS SO PERFECT. AMAZING. CUTE. I LOVE IT SM.

Little Zandy tends to be left out of the loop quite often. It's due to various reasons - the older segments not wanting to have to deal with him, or having to take the time to explain, or perhaps the topic matter isn't very kid-friendly (considering the kind of work they do). So, the little one is used to finding out things after the fact, unfortunately. You happen to be one of these topics.

What really interests Zandy is how the segments say your name. The boy is used to hearing them speak about others in contempt (that damn Regrator, wicked Damslette) or with no regard/care at all (test subjects) but you? You don't get either of those. Rather, you get your name spoken with affection. Like how his parents spoke to each other (only that he wasn't afforded that same treatment). So naturally he's intrigued, but confused. You've been sleeping for so long! How could someone who's sleeping be interesting? You can't even talk! But it seems that the segments don't mind, although they are quite sad, they're willing to wait, which is strange. And Prime is willing to talk enough for the two of you. Zandy hears him from the room sometimes. Still, the boy fails to understand what sort of appeal you have. But he is a curious one, so he begs and begs to be able to see you. And when he does, well, everything makes sense.

You're just so pretty! Right of out a fairytale! He can't help but run up to you and hold your hand, in awe. And though normally the segments would scold him for "getting in their way" but they don't this time. Because even though the brat can be annoying his reaction is rather amusing. And they don't want to raise their voices in your presence.

I imagine, when you do finally wake up, he begs for you to read that story for him 😭💗 he definitely reads the voice for the prince that saves the sleeping royal (you) and beats up the bad guys (celestia) 🥺

THEM BEING THANKFUL FOR YOU LOVING THEM... sobs

[fadeintoyou1993]

Hello, Betty. This is the Black Hood speaking. Tonight was all about you. [What I want is] the same as you: to set Riverdale on the righteous path again. To cleanse it of sinners. Isn't that what you want? [Not by killing people.] Only the ones who deserve it. People like… your sister. I know all about the sin she carries in her womb. I also know she's at a farm, two hours North. If you try to warn her, I'll know. If you tell the police we've spoken or your mystery-loving boyfriend I'll carve her like a Jack O'Lantern. Don't you deny me, Betty. […] Your mother's at work. I know, I'm looking at them through a nice, big picture window. She's a thorn in both of our sides, your mother. We can't have her looming over us. Check your email. Publish what I've sent. And then I'll know that you're loyal. You do this for me, and then you get to ask me a question. And I have to answer it. You have until tomorrow night. […] How does it feel, Betty? Knocking your mother of her high horse? What's your question? And it can't be my name. [The face under the hood… Would I recognize it?] Yes. Do you feel closer to me now? I do. I feel as if we're friends. But I'm selfish, Betty. I don't like sharing you with other people. So I need you to cut them out of your life, or I will, my way. Let's start with that daughter of a philanderer, and an embezzler, complicit in her father's crimes… Oh, Betty, you don't really believe that [Veronica is innocent]. […] [What will make you stop?] You. As long as you continue showing me your devotion. Jughead. The son of a Serpent. He's not worthy of your love. Cut him out of your life… Or I will. […] There's one piece of unfinished business. The fact that you've been telling Archie about our chats. Betty, I've been watching you… You broke the rules, Betty, and now your sister will pay. [Please don't hurt her.] Then give me another name. Right now. If you want to save your sister, give me another name. The name of someone guilty. Come on, Betty. One little name. I'll kill your sister. And your mother and your father, and everyone you hold dear. [Nick St. Clair. He's staying at the Five Seasons.] I told you we were the same.

RIVERDALE (2017-2023) Chapter Eighteen: When A Stranger Calls

[sailorshadzter]

Can you write a fic where Cat survived the Red Wedding and has to accept that Sansa has to marry Jon to keep the Stark line and the North united? She knows Jon is now the heir but the prospect of marriage still haunts her because of what happened to Robb. And now, Cat wouldn't want to wish what happened to Robb to Jon Snow regardless of his heritage.

HIIII ANON

once again, this has been sitting in my inbox for a long time!!!

hopefully you see this!!!

send me prompts

When the gates open, a wagon rolls in, pulled by a white mare that has seen better days. 

She happens to be standing in the courtyard, talking with a few of the lords when the call comes, so her attention shifts away, blue eyes watching as the wagon comes all the way through. They aren’t expecting anyone, not that it matters, so she excuses herself, wandering away from the center yard and closer to the horse drawn wagon that has now come to a stop.

As the single passenger rises from the bench, her heart skips a beat, her stomach turning over like the wild waves of the sea. Somehow, her heart is telling her all she needs to know about this hooded stranger. 

Coming closer now, she waves away the guards barking questions- who are you, why have you come, and the like, because she doesn’t need to hear the answer the woman will give. As she comes around to the back, the figure is stepping down off the back, her feet crunching in the freshly fallen snow. For a moment, it is as if time is suspended, as if there is not a single other person in the world but the two of them- her lips curve around the syllables of the word she hasn’t used in years… “Mother…”

Catelyn Stark smiles, drawing back the hood of her cloak to reveal a somewhat scarred face, one older than she recalls, but it was her mother all the same. “Sansa,” she breathes, tears overflowing as she forces a smile. “My daughter…” A girl grown into a woman, a sight she thought she might never get to see… But here she was, standing just in front of her. It takes but a moment more for the young woman to fling herself at her, to fall into her arms as if she were that child she’d lost so many years before. “I’m here, Sansa, I’m here,” she whispers, running her hand through the red hair that has grown so long it falls to her waist, twisted back in braids like her own. Catelyn holds her tightly, wishing away her tears and murmuring the softest of words, until only the sound of footsteps draws her away.

When she looks up, over her daughter’s head, it is to look into the eyes of the man she knows has saved Winterfell, has saved Sansa. The boy she once detested, the boy she once neglected, now stands there now, grown into a man, staring at her with wide, gray eyes. Eyes that remind her of Ned, of Arya, eyes that bring pain to her already aching heart. But, she returns to her daughter, the last piece of her, and knows that this was where life was meant to bring her. 

[ x x x ]

“King in the North?”

Catelyn questions without hesitation, looking from one face to the other, once again feeling that ache in her heart. Once, Robb had been called such a thing. The truth was, she imagined to hear Queen in the North upon her arrival, but it was true, Robb had indeed named Jon as his heir, and it seemed as if the North agreed. Truth was, after hearing about all that had happened since the days of Robb, she supposes Jon deserves the title. 

Besides… 

“Have you met with Samwell Tarly?” She asks next, thinking of the man she met some weeks ago, traveling from King’s Landing to Winterfell, saying how once he was comrades with Jon Snow, no, friends even. “Is he not here?” 

Jon shakes his head, surprised to hear his old friend’s name spoken by his step mother. “I have not heard from Sam since before…” He trails off , shaking his head. Since before his death, he means. “Have you met with him, Lady Stark?” Lady Stark… She’s not been referred to by that name in so long now, it feels somewhat foreign. In truth, she’s heard Sansa called by that title all day, her inheritance certain. And now that she looks, there is a closeness between the two of them that she never saw before- perhaps it was one she prevented, in truth. 

“I have,” she admits, wondering if it was her place to tell him what Samwell Tarly had told her. She has but a split second to decide, for they are both staring back at her, Sansa with her wide-eyed gaze, Jon with his somber one. Perhaps this was the will of the gods, whichever ones were still listening…

So she speaks and she doesn’t stop until the story is fully told. 

[ x x x ]

It is the fourth morning of Catelyn’s return and she finds herself in Sansa’s rooms, brushing out her long red hair as she once did so long ago. 

Much has changed in the days since her arrival, the truth of Jon’s birth being an outright shock for all of Winterfell. But, the lords have taken it in stride and it would not be long before they would openly claim him as the rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms. 

In due time, of course. 

Catelyn has been thinking this moment over, again and again, trying to decide the best of the situation. The North deserved to be free, independent, just as Robb had intended…. But they still needed to back Jon, in order to win the war that was to come. Targaryen’s were not well loved here in the North, but lucky for Jon, he’d amassed love and respect from the Northerners that could not be stolen away simply because of his father’s blood. He was a Stark, many lords would say, shaking their heads. He was as much of a Targaryen as any one of them. 

“Mother?”

Sansa’s voice draws her out of her own thoughts and she smiles at her over her shoulder, their eyes meeting in the reflection of the looking glass. “I got lost in my own thoughts,” she apologizes as she places the last pin into place. For a single moment, she cannot help but to imagine her as she once was in this place; a hostage, a victim. Sansa hasn’t come out with all of the details of her two unlucky marriages, though she swears Tyrion never touched her, Catelyn knows Ramsay Bolton did the most unspeakable things to her. And these thoughts lead back to Robb, who married out of young, stupid love, that unwavering feeling many don’t get to feel in a world like theirs. Robb had died for love, Sansa nearly died from the violence of a loveless marriage. In the end, her children had found suffering in marriage, whether it be true love or political gain… There was no happy ending, not for Robb and not for Sansa.

But then there comes a knock on her door and when it opens, Jon is there, the sight of him bringing a smile to her face she’s never seen before. She watches as Sansa lights up from within, as she rises up from the chair she occupies to sweep across the room to stand before him. He spares her but one single nod before his eyes are all for Sansa, eyes that she swears she’s seen before… Eyes that she swore Ned once looked upon her with. 

Sansa offers a quick curtsy- sloppy, though she had it perfected at three- and with her arm slipped through his, she allows him to steer her from the room.

 Left alone in silence, Catelyn sinks back in the chair, laughter bubbling on her lips. 

[ x x x ]

Several weeks later, their betrothal is announced. 

Catelyn watches as the loyal Northern lords raise their glasses to the marriage, chanting their pleasure before they drink to it. At the head table, Sansa is blushing, but not in the innocent sort of way, while Jon pours her a second goblet of wine. They would be the finest of couples and the most powerful of monarchs- already Dorne had written of their support and she supposes the rest of the world would not be far behind. They had far more power than Robb ever had, which she supposes should bring her comfort, should hold her heart steady. 

The boy she once wished would die, she now wishes a lifetime of happiness, of health, of love. 

The boy she once wished never existed, she raises her own glass to toast, hoping for happiness, wishing for a lifetime of love.

[m1d-45]

i need MISERY and SADNESS and ANGST !

reader absolutely sobbing to bird xiao. i mean fucking wailing, man.

our birdie was going about his usual business, peeping around, looking for any possible dangers, maybe bring back a nice acorn. once he’s done, he’ll fly back to us, glad to report — (chirp a few times) — that the area is safe.

but instead of finding you eagerly awaiting him with an outstretched hand, he finds you curled in on yourself, stifling sobs.

he lands on the ground in front of you, worriedly hopping past the squirrels and deer nudging various forest tributes to you. he peeps once, but you don’t respond. he peeps a second time, and this warrants an answer.

you weakly unfurl yourself, willing your head upwards.

xiao now notices the state of your clothes. tattered, dirty, and dampened with what he hopes is just a peculiar blue juice.

he then meets a pair of reddened, glossy eyes. your cheek was scratched, and your now visible hands badly scraped. he chirps in concern, flapping his wings and hopping closer to your face.

that same face scrunches once again, as you curl your head back into your knees. as another sob escapes, you only wordlessly produce a few almonds from your pocket. you only whimpered an apology as a deer laid at your feet.

the almonds were not what he wanted. he did not need an apology for- what? a lack of attention? no, none of that. he only wanted you to be happy. how had he failed you again? he was a disgrace to the adepti, he was surely deserving of avid punishment. perhaps the loss of a finger would serve well. or two, after all, he had been too selfish and ignorant to save you. why was he even aIive? why was he ever even born? such a faiIure should never have been —

his inner monologue was cut off by an offering of a hand instead. you shakily nudged him with your index finger, making him release a squeak.

“hey.. i said i’m fine, right? please eat. you’re always so hungry.”

you sniffled.

“i can find some plants, and-“

but the sobs only continued.

“and fix it..”

your hand went limp as your cries shook your body. you didn’t even bother to weep silently anymore.

the squirrels chittered, the approaching raccoon held a rock in its small hands as an offering. a deer sniffed your head as you curled into fetal position again.

“i didn’t want this- i- i didn’t want to—”

i was just having fun, why did- how did it come this far?-”

a rabbit hopped closer.

“i want to go home. i miss my mom, i miss my dad, i miss their hugs-”

the deer at your feet nudged your leg.

“why can’t i just die aIready?”

xiao squealed, flapping his little wings furiously. he chirped and chirped, trying to bring you back to your senses.

he’d seen this thing time and time again- the form taken by relinquishment. once the thought was spoken, it could only end in misfortune.

he knew this was only a psychological effect, of course. to lose a battle when a small part of you wants to. to become careless and fall asleep on a thinly frozen lake. or, to intentionally cause one’s own end.

but that would not stop him from bringing you charms of good fortune in the following days. talisman to ward off draining spirits, necklaces and bracelets he personally imbued with evil-vanquishing power.

it did not stop him from distancing himself from you, in fear his karmic binds had effected you. that they were having the same effect on you as his siblings- as himself.

he had to protect you.

it was his duty.

-owl anon RAAAHH

i’m sorry this got so long, my thumbs go *taptaptaptap* on my keyboard while i just watch

oh…. you get it.

(under the readmore because my fingers tend to go)

xiao blessing small pebbles with adeptal energy, ignoring how it stings his hands as he wraps it in a leaf. as the one enchanting the stone, he’s granted a small amount of grace, but protection charms always tended to hiss at his karma.

he picks it up with his claws, flapping up and into the skies of liyue. he always brings you small gifts, and he knows you keep them, at least for a little while. he’s not sure if the magic is absorbed into you, if it fades, or if you simply lose them—some small part of him is satisfied at the image of mountain shaper being repelled by a simple stone—but he brings them to you faithfully. you always greet him the same way, and anticipation begins to bubbles under his skin at the thought.

he loves seeing you.

…but not like this.

your tree is more crowded than usual, various small wildlife surrounding you. nothing big, nothing threatening—the deer hesitate at the treeline, huffing and pawing at the ground—but worrying for certain.

he gives his same warning cry he always does, but you don’t step out to greet him. he has to duck beneath the leaves, and he sees you… crying.

he freezes, dropping a few inches in his shock, but quickly recovers.

(he can’t hesitate. he can’t pause. there’s no time for his own problems when you are in pain-)

he lands on your arm, bumping his head to yours and giving you a small chirp.

(please be okay. please be okay. please let the teal grass around you be lighting, or his bird eyes. please.)

another bump. another chirp. he reaches and pulls a leaf from your hair, turning to drop it away, and when he looks back you managed to lift your head.

he can’t stop the way he jumps, flapping to regain his balance at the smear of blue across your face.

“oh… hello there, little friend.”

he can’t even bring himself to be as happy as he normally is at your voice.

you take the wrapped rock from your claws, both you and the leaf unfurling. the blue stone glitters, and you smile slightly. from his new perch on your wrist and your shift in posture, he can’t help but notice more and more tragic details about you.

a slash across your waist, the cloth of your shirt clinging to your skin. the dirt across your skin, the tracks of tears down your cheeks.

“th-“ you cough, and the stone in your hand pulses outside of your view. “thank you, pretty bird.”

some part of him hopes that the stone brings you some joy. that you can absorb some of his magic- hell, he’d enchant it again if he needed to, expending every drop of energy he had of it meant you didn’t have to cry.

but not even the beauty of the earth can mend the tragedy of betrayal.

if anything, you cry more, curling up again in an attempt to hide from the world that wanted you dead. concerned cheeps slip from his beak as easily as the rabbits and birds around you hop closer. none dare to get as close as he, but acorns and river stones and pushed towards you, a ring of offerings surrounding their god.

“sorry,” you stutter, your voice choked, and he wonders why you’re apologizing. “i- i still-“ another sob. xiao feels like crying himself.

(he has no right to be distraught. not when he’s the blade you fear)

“here,” you manage, offering up a shaking handful of crushed almonds. you still have him your food, you still went through the strain and effort of crushing them so he could eat them in this form- even after the adepti had injured you, you still found it in yourself to help him?

(you didn’t know he was an adeptus. he was still lying to you. he hasn’t even taken any serious action, he couldn’t even try and help you when you still helped and cooed over and loved him-)

“do- do you-“ your voice hitched and broke, and he chirped, hopping up your arm. how he wished he could comfort you properly. how he wished he wasn’t a coward, that he could do more. “i know it isn’t enough, i-“ fresh tears welled in your eyes, and he had the feeling the pain ran deeper than your skin. “i’m sorry.”

you were sorry? why? he didn’t need an apology, he- if anything he should apologize. you deserved his offerings and apologies, you deserved his effort- and he couldn’t even give you that. he couldn’t even do what he was meant to, he wasted air with every breath, he spent his time protecting the citizens that hurt you. you shouldn’t be giving you his food, he should be giving you his blade, his armor, his mask, his- his faith.

he didn’t deserve to cry. but when he took a look at his own actions, he couldn’t help but think that he should be the one with blood on his skin, with ragged clothes and heaving breaths.

(he should be dead for what he allowed to happen to you.)

“please eat,” you sobbed, nudging him with the hand holding the almonds. “i can- i’m- you can trust me.”

(you shouldn’t trust him.)

“please…”

he hated seeing you cry. he hated hearing your sobs and knowing he was indirectly part of the cause. he hated that he was too much of a coward to take any serious action, he hated that he still stood besides your enemies, he hated that some of your blood fell on his hands, hated that every ounce of strength he had was one that you didn’t, and it was his fault. at least partially.

(entirely.)

your cries took words, pleads to the wildlife for a world they didn’t know, people and names you begged to carry you from your position.

“i just wanted to have fun.” you should be. you should be dressed in gold with jewelry of silver, you should be smiling and dancing with the ones you had blessed, traveling nations not as a fugitive, but as a god. “i never meant to come here. i never meant to be a problem.”

he hates that he knows you’d be safer in your previous world. he hates it. he hates it. he hates the adepti, he hates the millelith, the knights, the matra, he hates every blade that dared to cross your skin.

(he hates himself. he hates that he’s never done enough. he hates that he’s still so much of a coward he can’t take any action, not even against himself. he should turn his spear on himself, for allowing such heresy.)

you sniffled, harshly wiping at your eyes.

“god, why can’t i just die?”

ice frosted xiao’s veins.

he would understand if you were angry. he would understand if your tears were of frustration, if you beat at the ground instead of your aggressor’s bones, if you wanted to shout and take out your anger on the sky. he’d offer himself for your wrath—at least then he could finally be of service—but for you to wish to offer your life?

for you to be convinced that the death of a god was the only solution for the falsehood of another…

how long had this thought been in your head? how long had you offhandedly thought of letting yourself be captured, be slain, of giving up what you had blessed upon so many? how many times had you debating letting a wound get worse, of allowing infection to rid you of the thorns of this world?

xiao hopped up your arm, cooing sadly and curling into your neck.

he wished he could do more. he wished that he could hold you with human arms, he wished he could give you faith in your own creations, he wished he could whisk you away and take on the world himself, that he could fight on your behalf, that you would remain safe and if anything, he would be the one to die.

“don’t cry,” you said shakily, awkwardly reaching to pet over his wings.

how could he not, when his god had forsaken everything, including themself?

[ilovechuuy4]

"Grow up" or whatever cause I've been self absorbed with an anime for at least 3yrs, but my meaning is "growing up through the fandom" not the people in the fandom but understanding the characters more.

Understand that Akutagawa didn't deserve what Dazai did to him. No matter if it was for training or not. No matter if it was to show him how strong he NEEDED to be. Growing up in a fandom that you truely never understood till you thoroughly look through the plot inside and out.

15!Dazai didn't kill cause he had to, he killed cause he could. If it was a matter of "you don't have to kill but you can" he would pick the latter. He killed and killed and killed cause that's all he knew basically how to do. But he still did, cause he had to option to. And yet he changed for odasakes dying wish.

Realising Chuuya wouldn't even be apart of Bungou stray dogs if he hadn't been in a lab. Not as in a "oh he deserved it" but as in "he had such big character development" Chuuya isn't just some red headed hot guy he's a guy with SUCH big character development that's hardly spoken about.

"Growing up" but realizing how much Dazai truely cares for Chuuya even if they are just seen as toxic or "lovers" He never blew up Chuuya motorcycle but his care he was aware how much that bike meant to chuuya. Same goes with Chuuya. He trusts Dazai with his life. "You used corruption believing I would save you, how beautiful."

So if you asked me on a deeper lvl on how much I cared for soukoku and they are the only ones meant for one another, I'd tell you that they truely are beautiful, not in a physical appearance type of way. But in a way of their dynamic together, cause no matter WHAT they went through, they whole heartedly trusted one another. Never did they not and never will they not.

"You're such a slow learner, and you could never follow directions, and then there's that useless ability of yours." Dazai said that to Akutagawa cause he knew hed get a reaction from him. He knew his words would get under Akutagawa's skin, piss him off. Dazai says thoughs things out of the sheer pleasure of the reaction.

Everybody passes over Dazai and what he's done to people cause he's attractive. And yet he has a deeper meaning to himself as well. He uses himself and his body to get what he wants. Wanted his phone back in the hospital, used his body. He knows he can get what he wants if he uses himself like a lockpick to a master lock.

To truely understand Akutagawa is insane as well. He's such a more complex character then just "emo!!!!" He's mentally damaged, physically damaged. He seeks the praise of Dazai cause that's what he was "raised" to do, get good enough for Dazai. Do EVERYTHING to please Dazai nd yet in the end he never even got a simple "good job' until later.

I truely love how asagiri captures the emotions through BSD no matter how emotional or cringe or anything else. He captures true, rare emotion amazingly and nobody can tell me otherwise.

ANYWAYS THIS WAS CAUSE I SAW A SAD AKUTAGAWA EDIT WITH CREEP BY RADIOHEAD IN THE BACKGROUND AND UHM YEA

[imaginesforeveryone]

Openning Night

John Shelby x Y/N

Summary: It was re-opening night for the biggest Pub in small heath and you planned to make it a night to remember after getting out of a long shitty relationship

Warnings: drinking, swearing, smut, flirting

“Come on Y/N we’re going to be late!” You heard Elisa, your best friend, yelling from across the house to you. But you weren’t even close to being ready. Still laid in your bed. 

“Y/N Come on. Stop mopping. He isn’t worth it. He’s a bloody asshole that doesn’t deserve your tears. Aye?” She said moving the strand of hair that stuck to your check from you crying so much. 

“But what if he’s there? I don’t want to see him Elisa!” You said pouting, turning over and putting a pillow over your face.

“Then I’ll kick his ass and send him back to wherever his stupid ass came from. Now come on, get up and let’s get you sexy! Never know maybe one of them Peaky boys will see you.” She said smacking you in the butt and pulling you up. You giggled slightly trying not to show any other emotion than sadness, but it was hard to with her. Going to your closet you got out this beautiful black dress you had been saving for your 4 year anniversary with your ex, but obviously that did not pan out as you planned. Slipping the dress over your body and helping it settle into all your curves and smoothing it out. You went over to the mirror that sat up against your wall and looked yourself up and down. Noticing the darkness your eyes held from so much crying. You sat down at your desk with your make up, perfume, and your journal laid on. Putting on some make up to cover your eyes. 

“Holy fuck!” You heard from behind you. 

“You look. HOT!” Elisa said looking at you. You rolled you eyes and gave a small smirk. 

“Now come on.” She said grabbing your hand and yanking you up and out of your room. Grabbing your purse before leaving out the front door. 

Making your way down the streets of small heath as everyone walked aside you and Elisa going probably to the same big event in the small town you lived in. Finally making your way to the doors of the new and improved Garrison. Walking in and being blinded by all the gold in the place. So much different than what it used to be. Beautiful but different. Small heath was not a beautiful place. But hopefully this can bring some beauty to it. 

“Come on. Let’s get a drink in you!” Elisa said pulling you towards the bar. 

“Two gins please.” She said with confidence and began looking around the room. 

“We really need to travel. Its always then same men in here and im quite tired of it. I need me someone hot. But London hot, not small heath hot. You know what I mean?” Elisa went on and on about the men in this town. Taking down the gin that was set in front of you and asking for another. 

“May I have everyone attention please!” You heard a voice across the room. 

“LISTEN THE FUCK UP!!!” You heard an even louder voice yell. 

“Now that I have your attention. Thank you all for coming out to the grand re-opening of the Garrison.” You looked over to see who was speaking and it was the one and only Thomas Shelby. The leader of the Peaky Blinders. You were dumb if you lived in Small Heath and didn’t know who the Peaky Blinders were. There was Arthur Shelby, the eldest and formally the head of the family. Then there was Thomas Shelby the middle child who had held the power now of the family. Then there was John Shelby. The most beautiful of them all, at least in your eyes. Those cheek bones, those beautiful eyes, that jaw line. Gosh did it have you feeling some type of way just thinking about it. And there he sat, just inches from Thomas who spoke standing on top of one of the tables. You honestly did not hear a word that was spoken. Just keened in on John as he sat there listening to his brother, with a tooth pick in his mouth that he moved side to side with his tongue between different parts of his mouth. Oh, what you could only imagine he could do with his mouth. Noticing he looked away from Thomas to speak to Arthur who sat next to him. Seeing his eyes wonder around the room looking in every direction like he was making sure no harm came their way, but eventually meeting with yours. With a small smirk and a wink coming from him you broke eye contact with him quickly in embarrassment. 

“See now, if there could be more Shelby’s to go around that’s the man id want to wake up next to in the morning.” Elisa said. She noticed you looking a little red. 

“Oh what did I miss. Why are you blushing?” She asked turning towards you and taking a sip from her drink. 

“Uhm, I may or may have not just been staring at one of the Peaky Boys and got caught staring at him by him, and he may or may not of just eye fucked me a little.” You said quickly and downed your drink and quickly getting another. 

“OOOOO!! Which one? Arthur? He older but, he isn’t bad looking. That mustache is a bit much sometimes but, I bet he has figured out ways to do crazy things with that or was it Thomas, because damn girl get it while you can. You can be the queen of small heath, maybe even London one day. OR , OR Was it John. Aw. John He’s adorable. a fucking badass, but super adorable.” She asked with her crazy personality as usual. 

“Hello there ladies.” You heard a voice from behind you. You turned around and were you that drunk already that you were hallucinating? Is John Shelby ACTUALLY talking to right now. 

“Im John.” He said with a smirk on his face and looking right at you. Even looking you up and down. 

“Elisa.” Elisa said breaking the silence.

“Nice to meet you Elisa.” John said shaking her had. 

“And you are?” John said looking at you with is hand out. 

“Y/N.” You said with a slight voice crack out of being nervous.

“Hello, Y/N.” He said with his signature smile that made all the women melt in their shoes. Taking your hand and kissing the top of it. 

“HELLO LADIES!!” Arthur said stumbling over to you guys, and slicking his hair back with his hands. 

“And who is this beautiful young lady?” He said looking at Elisa and taking her hand in his. 

“Elisa, and you are Arthur Shelby, and you’d like to dance.” She said taking his hand and leading him to the middle of the room. 

“A women after me own heart.” Arthur said following her. You giggled slightly before looking back at John who seemed to still be looking at you. 

“Gin?” He asked looking down at your empty cup and you just smiled and shook your head. 

“Bottle of gin, bottle of whiskey at the window.” He said to the bartender. He took your hand in his and lead the way to the infamous Shelby booth. 

“Out. ” He said to the men and women sitting in there. they scrambled before he could get the whole word out. Nervous, you sat down as he grabbed the two bottles and shut the small door. 

“Don’t be nervous love. Just here for a good time, and maybe some small talk.” John said sitting down in the chair across from you. 

“Tell me something about yourself Y/N.” He said lighting a cigarette and watching you closely.

You and John talked for what felt like a few hours. He was funny, charming, sexy. You didn’t realize the time till it became somewhat silent in the place. Only noticing because John and you weren’t talking as loudly. 

“Wow, I didn’t realize how late it was. Sorry for keeping you so long.” You said to John before standing up and smoothing out your dress a bit but falling over your feet a bit. John catching you slightly to stand you up right.

“Sorry about that. Apparently I drank a little more than I thought.” You said with a slight giggle at the end. 

“Love, you finished the whole bottle.” He said sitting you down.

“Well, I guess that’s what happens when you have good conversations with a good man aye?” You said grabbing the collar of his shirt.

“Oh what a wonderful night. Thank you Mr. Shelby for having me. But, I think I should probably find Elisa, and go home.” You said sitting up, then standing up, kind of wobbly at first, but catching your balance quickly. 

“Darling let me walk you home. I don’t want you walking home alone. Lots a of bad people out there.” He said grabbing your hand.

“But aren’t you supposed to be bad people to?” You asked turning to look at him. Knowing well that was not right of you to say, but it kind of just came out, like word vomit. 

“Oh I’m bad people love, but only to other bad people.” He said caressing your cheek. 

“Come on, I’ll walk you home. Elisa went with Arthur, so don’t worry about her. She’s safe.” He said taking your hand, and grabbing your purse off the table. You followed him out of the room and into the main floor where you saw a few men laying on the floor passed out and some in the booths. You walked out the front doors of the Garrison and felt the cool breeze on your skin causing you to shudder a little. John took notice of this and took his jacket off. 

“Oh no, Im okay John.” You said pushing his hand away. 

“Wow, stop being stubborn.” He said wrapping the jacket over your shoulders. You grabbed the sides of it to pull it tight around your body for extra warmth, and breathing in the musk of the jacket that was Johns. You smiled at the thought of a Peaky boy taking care of you and thinking back to what Elisa said earlier. 

“John.” You said as you walked through an alley. 

“Yes?” He said looking over at you and making eye contact. Before you could say anything else, an overwhelming spark of confidence came over you leading you to push him up against the wall and attack his lips. Smelling his whiskey drenched breathe as his breathing got heavy from not being able to breath through the kisses. Taking your face in his large hands and roughly pushing the kiss deeper. Tongues intertwined with yours, bitting and sucking on his lip bottom lip. You just couldn’t control it. Was it because he was a Shelby. You never had such a strong man embrace you in the way he did. Lifting you off your feet and putting you up against the other building in the alley.

“John.” You said between the heated make out session. 

“What?” He said still going at your lips. 

“I don’t, remember where I live.” You said as he caressed and squeezed you ass that he held you up by. 

“That’s okay come on.” He said with one last kiss, setting you down and dragging you down the alley, causally stopping to kiss you again. Stopping at a beautiful building, that you honestly have never seen before. You didn’t really ever come over to this side of town because you were too nervous to go into peaky territory by yourself. John unlocking the door as quick as he could and grabbing you to come in. Throwing you up onto a table that apparently had a lot of glass on it hearing it crash down. 

“Shit.” You said, before John grabbed your face and started attacking your lips again. 

“Its fine. Who gives a fuck.” He said taking off his vest and throwing it across the room. Smiling through the kisses you kicked your heels off under neath John, and started to fumble with your dress trying to get it off. Getting flustered John took over just ripped the front of your dress straight down the middle making you gasp and look up at him with an upset expression. 

“I will buy you a new one. A better one.” He said with a giggle. Getting off the table with your now torn dress hanging off of you, you pushed John backwards towards the chair that sat behind him. He fell back into it slouched down into it, staring up at you through his eye lashes, very seductivly. You slipped your dress off letting it pool at your feet, leaving you in just your panties stood in front of John. Leaning down and grabbing the collar of his shirt and tearing down the from making all the buttons pop off. 

“I’ll buy you a new one. A better one.” You whispered to him with a giggle as you mocked him. An evil smile spreading across his face. Swiftly standing up and picking you up all in the same movement. 

Man was he fast, no wonder he was one of the most feared men by his enemies. 

He made his way up the stairs, and kicked open the door on the right it was pretty dark in the room except for the moon shining brightly thought the huge, tall windows. Throwing you on the bed and hovering over you like a lion about to attack a gazelle. Unbuckling his belt and kicking off his shoes. He pulled down his pants along with his boxers, releasing the very long, but thick beast he had hiding away. Your eyes becoming wide and thinking how you’re going to fit that inside of you. 

“Don’t worry love, I’ll be gentle.” He said with a wink and a beautiful smile. Grabbing him to fall down on top of you, but him catching himself gracefully with his hand on either side of you head. 

“Maybe I don’t want gentle. Maybe I want that Peaky boy everyone is so afraid of.” You said in hushed ton. He raised an eyebrow, and your saw the fire start in his eyes. Almost making you a little afraid, but excited. Sitting up and stretching out his very firm and wide shoulders. He quickly moved to you panties and pulled them off. Pushing you further up the bed all in one swift move, he was between your legs with his hands spreading them apart, making sure you couldn’t close them. 

“You sure you want this love?” He asked looking up at you from between you legs. You smiled and shook you head. With that he attacked you clit making you gasp loudly and taking the blanket you laid on top in your fists.

“Fuck.” You let out with the little breath you had in your lungs. As he dragged his perfect tongue up and down your very wet slit and coming back up to suck on you sensitive nub, with that making you feel your stomach into a knot. 

“John. Fuck. Fuck. Im going to cum.” You gasped out. As he sucked on your clit he came off of it making you cry out. 

“OH no no love. You want me to fuck you like the Peaky I am. Then you have to listen like the Peaky I am.” He said looking up at you. 

“No cumming till I say.” He said right before he attacked you clit again. Feeling his tongue slip inside of you, making it 10 times harder to hold on to your orgasm. 

“John. Please let me cum. Please” You cried out to him as you took his hair in your hand. He didn’t say a word just kept going. Moaning out so loud that half of small heath probably heard you. 

“Go ahead baby. Cum all ver my mouth.” He said as he grabbed ahold of your thighs so you couldn’t wiggle away. Attack at your clit again sending you over the edge almost immediatly. Feeling your legs shake but being held in place. 

“Fuck, John.” You said coming down off you orgasm. Feeling hands on your sides and then feeling lips attacking yours, tasting yourself on them. 

“I think I don’t want to be a Peaky boy to you. I just want to be John to you tonight.” He whispered to you. You smiled, grabbing his face between your hands and pulling him into a deeper kiss. Flipping him over onto his back and straddling him the tip of his cock brushing at your opening. He stared up at you for a second before reaching between you and rubbing his tip against you. 

“You ready love?” He asked looking into your eyes for confirmation. 

“Please.” You whined out wanting it more than anything in this moment. Slowly he slipped inside of you causing you to gasp out and lift up almost making him slip out, but not before he grabbed your hips. 

“Nu Uh, love. You can’t get away from me.” He said causing you to get drenched even more than you already were. Slowly sinking yourself down on him and adjusting to his girth. You were ready for him. Starting to bounce up and down on him, you could see him melting just a little bit. 

“Fuck Y/N you’re so tight. So wet.” He gasped out. He lifted you up and slamming you down on him, over and over again.

“John. Can I.. i.” 

“Cum baby. All over my cock.” He said out knowing what you wanted. With that you released and felt your insides pulsate around him, making your orgasm even more intense. You felt him start to get a little shakey, know what that meant. You leaned down and attacked his neck. Getting right in his sweet spot. 

“Cum Johnny. Cum inside of me Mr. Shelby.” You whispered to him. As you said it he grabbed ahold of your shoulder and pushed down on your lower back making himself go deeper inside of you, making you gasp out at how much of him was inside of you. Feeling his hot cum fill you up as he twitched inside of you slightly. He let out a labored breathe letting go of you to relax his arms and his body. 

“God damn love. Haven’t had sex like that in I don’t know how long.” He said laying his arms out on the bed. Rolling off of him and laying on the bed with your head on his arm. 

“Believe me, I didn’t even know what it was like to cum like that. Ever.” You laughed out. You sat up grabbing the sheet and wrapping it around yourself. 

“I should probably go.” You said looking down at John and his glistening body.

“Wait what?” He said sitting up. 

“I figured this was just a hit it and go type thing. I don’t want to stay where I’m not welcomed.” You said with a sad smirk and turning around, but feeling a hand catch yours and spin you around into an embrace. 

“If I didn’t want you to stay, I wouldn’t have brought you into my home.” He said looking around. You dropped the sheet that you had wrapped around you and stood on your tip toes to peck a kiss on his lips. He smiled as you pulled away and pulled you back into the bed wrapping his arms around you like you were the most precious diamond he’d ever had and slowly drifting to sleep in his arms.

[zombiewhor3]

IT'S NOT OKAY

carl grimes x fem reader

WARNINGS: depressed reader, angst, mentions of character death (Glenn), mentions of sad Carl, mentions of bad parents, mentions of father figure Glenn, mentions of blood, gore, murder, mentions of revenge, mentions of reader skipping meals, helpful/understanding Carl.

she laid in the same position for days, it had almost been an entire week and she'd just been rotting there like a corpse, her mind in a frozen haze while the bat slamming down on Glenn's head seemed to replay like a constant loop in her head.

and well the fact that Negan had almost forced Rick to cut off her own boyfriend's arm, she could hear his mocking and his taunts as Glenn died and she could still hear the way Maggie screamed.

Her only true father figure had died, and it was shattering her, she was shattered because of it, when she saw the eye popping out of her skull she had gotten sick, she almost passed out from the shock and well the fact she was still injured and weak from a past fight.

she was only 15 and it was so damn hard for her to even think about such a gory thought but she had to understand that this was the real world surrounding her.

She thought about in the beginning when Glenn had saved her, he had rescued her after her parents had been to careless and left her, she was no older than Carl when it happened, and there he was bringing her back to the camp to feed and clothe her.

she had grown a family because of him, if it weren't for him she wouldn't be here today, she wouldn't be here sulking in this bed, and she sure as hell wouldn't be alive.

she could feel Carl place a small kiss on her cheek as a tear slipped down her face, she had started to cry once more, she could feel him place a seat on the bed so he could face her.

he frowned seeing her cry, he hated the sight, he hated watching as she held onto her stomach while she felt sick from the sight of his head being bashed in by that bastard.

"shh it's okay" he tried to comfort her but what was the use? would it fix the fact that they were stuck under The Saviours choke hold while two of their friends were dead and they couldn't get revenge.

she flipped around to the other side to face away from him with a soft breath she let out another sniffle letting her tears fall into the white pillow case, "talk to me please you haven't spoken in days not even a hi or a response when i speak to you" he rubbed her back feeling as her tense body seemed to loosen up for him at the touch.

he had been struggling to, he had missed Glenn so much it was like a piece of his heart was missing and well he had so much rage inside him that it was starting to pull him in so many directions.

he felt like soon he was going to be torn in half from the sadness and the anger tugging at both ends of him, he wanted revenge on all of the men, he wanted to kill Negan himself for killing such innocent people because in true reality they didn't deserve any of it.

Once carl realized she was going to stay silent he got up from the bed, reaching into a bag he pulled a fresh pair of clothes out for her along with a rubber band resting amongst his wrist.

"c'mere" he spoke softly lifting up the still bloody shirt from her body. she had been sitting right next to Glenn when it happened which meant she had his blood laced all over her white shirt, now it was dried and brown but it was still his blood.

he pulled it from her body and tossed it to the floor while he put a new one on her, he helped her to wiggle out of the bloody jeans, there were dried blood patches in the knees from her digging them into the gravel to prevent a gut wrenching scream from her.

he pulled them off and slipped on a new pair of jeans on her slightly closing his eyes to give her some privacy, she sat up on the bed with his help, he knew she hadn't eaten for almost a full week.

she stared at the wall blankly before following Carl into the kitchen, he placed a green apple in her hand and a bottle of water on the marble counter in-front of her.

she hesitantly went to take a bite from the apple but a hand covered her mouth, it was like everything she looked at seemed to make her sick, she closed her eyes before taking a bite feeling the sweetness hit over her tongue as she chewed and swallowed the bit.

he was proud of her that she was slowly eating, and once she knew it she was down to the core of the apple and the water bottle that was once full in-front of her was left empty.

she wrapped her arms around Carl as she could feel more tears bittering up inside her again, "it's okay you did good, we have to try, we both miss him i know" he admitted feeling her only cry harder at the slight implication of him.

"we'll get through this together i promise"

[gnreadergames]

We can be heroes, just for one day

Pairing: Clark Kent X GN!Reader

Clark and YN’s date is interrupted, forcing Clark to make a choice that could change his relationship with Y/N forever…

Content Warnings: some wine mentions, mentions of a gun, some light kissing, mostly fluff and flirting

A/N: enjoy some short fluff I wrote while being utterly and horribly sick last week. Clark deserves a little wine and a nice kiss.

Word count: 10,085

➽──────────────❥

As they sit hunched over your cluttered and cramped desk in the dim newsroom of The Daily Planet, they will themselves to stay awake.

The aroma of stale coffee and old bagels lingers in the air, a bitter reminder of what’s waiting for them in the break room and their lazy leftovers at home. With a defeated sigh, they contemplate going for another cup of the watered down brew that’s called “coffee” around here. It’s the only caffeine they can get without actually leaving the office besides lukewarm energy drinks in the vending machine.

Their saving grace comes in the form of Clark, who slides the warm cup of some obscurely named café across their desk. “You looked like you could use it,” he smiles, rendering them speechless, but they’re thankful all the same

They perk up with a smile.

“Thank you Clark.”

They found the man charming, although he was less authoritative than his peers and less outspoken, they found his intellect and his shy sense of humor fascinating.

The two of them had talked for a while last month at the office Christmas party, and ever since Y/N had noticed that Clark and them had been spending their free time around the office doing small favors for one another, such as bringing each other coffee.

They notice him drinking from his own cup of coffee, still smiling as he turns to look at them. He takes his time drinking it, but his eyes meet theirs again as he sets the cup down, his smile bright and endearing. "So have you been enjoying the holiday break?" He asks, not wanting to make eye contact in case he ends up staring.

“It’s been good.” They nod. It’s been quiet in their house since their ex left right before Christmas, and for a fleeting moment it dampens their mood, but then the next sip of good coffee that their work buddy Clark brought them cheers them up.

“How has yours been? See any family?” They ask, they know Clark is a big family man and cares a lot for his parents, so you can only imagine he’s been visiting those friends he’s always saying he’s out with and his family at his home home.

"It was great, I had the chance to spend time with my parents and I..."

Clark's voice trailed off as he realized he was about to give away too much personal information. He had never spoken about his family before to anyone besides those close to him, at least not at length, but talking to them felt safe and... different. He wanted them to know they were more than a co-worker, despite the fact he was still figuring out what they were.

"Nothing too exciting" he finished, feeling himself smile uncontrollably once again.

“Well I’m glad you got some rest,” Y/N smiled. They wanted to touch base with Clark about what exactly they were, never quite touching the lines between acquaintances and friends…

But before Y/N could do anything, Clark spoke.

“Listen,” he said, voice low. “Would you maybe…want to get a drink with me after work sometime?” He asked, leaning against their desk.

The two of them stood in a comfortable silence, each aware of how much rides on this simple decision.

"Will you join me?" He asked, looking into their eyes once again.

"Just a drink, let's keep it casual"

They swallowed. It was so soon after their ex had left them…especially for her. They weren’t sure if they were ready yet but….

It was Clark.

They trusted Clark.

“Sure” they said. Smiling softly up at him, they lifted their cup in a silly gesture of cheers. “Toast to it?” They asked.

There it was, he had his answer. He was filled with elation and relief in that moment.

"Of course" he replied, clinking their cups together and taking a sip. They were going on a date, this was really happening.

Clark's heart soared as he smiled back at them, it was going to take time for things to develop, but at the very least, he felt confident they had taken another big step.

-

Time that day had seemed to go ever so slowly in the office. Y/N kept finding themself staring at the clock, waiting for the time when they could clock out and go home to get ready for their meeting with Clark.

Their date with Clark.

The hours dragged on, time felt like it was moving at a glacial pace, but finally, they were able to clock out and head home to get ready.

The prospect of the date had them feeling a mix of emotions, mostly excitement but there was also a hint of slight hesitation, not due to Clark but rather the recent heartbreak.

Time to get ready and hopefully try to relax a little.

They slowly prepared themselves the best they could. After a long shower with their best products, they put on their best collared shirt and a jacket, and their very best pair of jeans that hugged their ass just right.

Maybe that last part was a little vain. Y/N didn’t mind.

They then sprayed their best cologne on them, especially in the crook of their neck and around their jaw. They wanted to be tempting, even if nothing happened tonight.

Which they would also be okay with, they knew Clark liked to do things the old fashioned way sometimes. You could tell he liked to take things slow, but there was a spark, a hint of passion underneath it all.

It would take more time, but it was worth the wait.

Y/N went to the bar they agreed upon at promptly 8. The front looked like a romantic cigar lounge, the inside lit with a warm lighting and deep red interior with dark wood. Y/N liked this.

People on the street milled about, and it was still chilly since it was mid January now, the Christmas lights still wrapped around the light pole outside. They began to look for Clark to arrive, as he was almost always punctual.

Clark had made sure to dress appropriately, he had taken his time, but he was ready for this date. The night and the cool air was a good excuse to wear a coat and Clark was prepared to play the part of the gentleman for every second of it.

It was easy to spot the bar, located in the heart of the town; it was bustling with life and energy. He looks for Y/N and sees them looking out for him, their hair shines in the light and he smiles to himself.

Y/N suddenly spotted a tall but non-imposing figure in the crowd. They were always surprised how much Clark could blend in one minute and stand out the next. It was like a superpower or something.

“Clark!” They called, waving over a few couples walking past. They locked eyes with the man and smiled as he crossed the sidewalk to meet them at the entrance.

Clark's heart raced a little as they locked eyes, he didn't say anything at first, simply choosing to look at them, their eyes glowing in the lighting.

He looks them up and down, appreciating the time they obviously spent getting ready.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long?"

”No, don’t worry you- you didn’t,” Y/N shivers. They can’t tell whether it’s the cold air or the fact that Clark is closer than usual right now but they feel all warm despite the snow on the ground. “Should we go in?” They asked, cocking their head towards the bouncer at the door.

"We should," Clark replies, moving to guide them inside. He notices the shiver and his heart flutters slightly, he's going to have to be careful. His intention was to take it slow, but with the chemistry between them, his mind kept wondering what it would feel like to kiss them.

‘Calm down, it's been hours not months, one step at a time’ he reminds himself.

As they approached the Boucher side by side, Y/N handed over their ID. They watched the bouncer scan it, scan their face, and scan their age before slowly handing it back to them with a nod.

Quietly, Y/N stepped to the side.

Clark then stepped up, they could see the bouncer inspect his ID, and as he read Clark’s name his eyebrows raised.

“Clark Kent?” The man said. “You’re that one journalist! I’ve read your articles.”

Clark smiled and nodded at the bouncer, he knew his fame would be followed him around, but he didn't mind too much. It was always surprising to see how many men and women knew him, and it always gave him a little ego boost.

"It's my hobby" he responded, before gently guiding Y/N inside with him, hoping he wasn't intimidating them too much.

Y/N smiled, sticking a little closer to Clark’s side. Suddenly, they swallowed their nerves and wrapped their hands around one of Clark’s arms at his side.

“Impressive,” Y/N said as Clark led them both further inside.

The interior of the bar was as expected from the impression outside. It was dim but intimate. There was a short but steady melody of jazz coming from a live band in a corner of the bar towards the front window in a pit like stage.

Clark smiled as he felt their hand wrap around his arm, it was the perfect amount of familiar but without being too much, he liked that.

That was a great atmosphere for a date, the live band playing a mellow and seductive song added the perfect element to the evening.

It was almost like they belonged together, even at this point.

"You know, when I'm not being a journalist I'm just a regular guy" he says, hoping they don't see him as anything other than who he was.

Y/N quirked and eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Why don’t you find us a seat and tell me more about what you do besides journalism,” Y/N smiled. “No other dark serial killer personalities I should be worried about though, right?”

Clark laughed softly, he couldn't resist laughing. It was funny to imagine himself with multiple dark personalities, and he loved that they went back to their conversation from the office.

"Well, there's no serial killer...that you know of," he replied, not able to help himself from teasing them a little.

Dark secret personality number two: Unwitting flirt

Y/N laughed softly. They didn’t know Clark was a tease.

They tucked that information away for another time.

Clark led them both to a booth in a corner, close enough that the jazz was a nice background to their conversation but not loud enough to interrupt.

A waiter came by shortly to get their order.

“What will it be?” The girl said in her neat black and white uniform with her pencil and pad.

Y/N looked at Clark. “I don’t know what’s good here. What are you getting?” They asked shyly.

Clark sat beside them in the booth, he loved how close they were in that small little moment. The dim lighting made it even better, like he was sitting with his significant other. It felt nice and he was a little nervous.

When the waiter came he replied with his order, his voice slightly deeper than normal. "I'll be having the salmon with white wine please."

He turned his attention to them. Hmm, I wonder what that cute little mind of yours is going to order? He thought.

”Can I have the steak with the red wine please, then?” Y/N said after a moment of consideration. Then, they glanced over at Clark staring at them and blushed.

The girl took their order and hurried away to serve more people. They would give her a big tip after this.

“So, Mr. Not a Serial Killer, what do you do in your spare time?” Y/N asked, propping their chin on their hand with their elbow resting on the table near the tea light candle in the center. They locked eyes.

Clark chuckled as he saw them blush, it was too cute to resist, and he enjoyed that he made them blush.

He watched the waiter leave with their attention, but quickly returned it back to Y/N. He couldn’t help but admire how beautiful they were, it was almost hard not to stare.

"I play basketball at the local rec centre, read a lot and go to the gym” he said as part of his reply, he added a bit of a smirk as he did.

“Oh that’s nice!” Y/N said.

The waiter came back with both of their wines respectively and placed them in front of them both. Clark took a small sip of his after swirling it so Y/N did the same.

It was sweet and heady, and went straight to their head. They shouldn’t have more than 2 of these tonight…probably.

“I read a lot too…” Y/N said, placing the wine glass back on the table.

He took his glass and sipped from it, looking up and watching as he saw Y/N take a sip of theirs. The sweet taste was nice on the pallets, and the feeling of the slight intoxication that it gave them was pleasant as well.

"Oh yeah? What kind of books? I like action, thrillers and mystery," he asked, his voice slightly slowed but still under control, he didn't want to seem like a drunkard right now by downing wine too fast, even if he couldn’t get drunk.

Y/N smiled.

“What a coincidence, I love a good thriller and mystery.” They suddenly leaned forward, face lit lowly by the small candle, “But I’m also a fan a good romance.”

Y/N smiled guiltily and pulled back to watch Clark.

Clark's voice caught in his throat like a school boy, his face flushed and his heart was pounding. How could Y/N have just hit him with that information so suddenly, his heart was thumping against his chest.

He wasn't sure how to respond, he had hoped there might be some hint of interest but he wasn't sure enough to try yet.

You idiot, he thought to himself, you'll ruin this if you don't play it perfectly.

The waiter came back with their food soon, and the mood cooled down. They both ate in relative happiness, occasionally taking sips of their wines.

Y/N was obviously becoming more affected than Clark was. But of course, they didn’t know Clark wasn’t affected by human alcohol like a normal person.

The jazz was nice as a filler to no conversation at the moment.

They finished their meals and sat back, ready to talk. Y/N smiled, finishing their last sip of wine.

Clark finished off his meal with ease, he wasn't an exceptionally hungry person, but he was a little surprised by Y/N’s reaction towards the wine. They made a cute lightweight.

He finished his food, setting his utensils down as he settled back in his seat. His attention was still on them, and he could tell the wines had affected something as he saw them smirk and finish their glass. He was a little nervous to ask them out on a second date but he knew he was going to.

”So, farm-boy,” Y/N slightly drawled, “Tell me about yourself.” They set the glass on the table and smirked.

Farm Boy? He hadn't expected that line, it caught him off guard, and his blush was definitely visible now. He could imagine his face was red as a tomato by this point. As they finished speaking though, he had to regain his composure.

He laughed quietly to himself, before answering them. "What exactly would you like to know?"

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N asked, genuinely confused for a moment, but Clark didn’t seem to pick up on it.

Thankfully, at that moment, the band began to play another song that was low and brassy, with a sultry tone.

Y/N nodded along for a moment, enjoying the feeling the wine gave them.

“Anyways,” they continued, “you like to read huh? I know you have family, tell me about them. Your mom and dad? The farm? What’s it like being a pampered only child?” They asked.

Clark laughed at first as he took no offense to their tone, it was a bit sharp and teasing, but Clark knew they meant no ill will by it and enjoyed the flirting that was happening between them both. The change of music also provided a nice cover and backdrop to their conversation, which was nice.

"Oh so you want the full origin story?" He asked teasingly, looking at them and raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah I think I do,” they said.

The waitress came by to refill their wine.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yourrssss…” Y/N teased as they drew their index finger around the rim of their wine glass.

Clark tried to not appear too affected by their teasing but it was no use he was already under their spell, he had to bite his lip to not smile or even laugh at their words.

Clark was tempted to continue with the flirting but held himself back for the sake of maintaining a little bit of control. Instead of going straight into the full origin story he decided to meet them halfway.

"Okay how about we flip a little script?" He says looking them square in the eyes.

”What does that mean?” Y/N asked. There was a very good chance Clark was going to ask for a juicy secret in return for something perfectly mundane.

Clark couldn't help but smile as Y/N asked the question, they were clearly curious now to what he had in mind, and the mystery of it intrigued them.

"Hmm how can I explain this so it makes sense?..."

A light bulb went off above Clark's head as he got an idea to help them understand.

"What if I ask you a question instead?"

“Go ahead.” Y/N said. They were intrigued as to where this was going.

He took a moment to think, his mind running a million miles per hour right now after the wine and their continued flirting.

"Okay, well let's keep this short and sweet, what is your most embarrassing memory?"

Clark thought this would be an easy one to start with, it was a safe bet for him, and also he was secretly hoping it would help get to know a bit more about them. His mind was filled with anticipation and hope.

They flushed harder, and this time it wasn’t the wine.

They couldn’t think of anything for a moment, but then- it hit them.

Could they tell Clark this?

Really?

Well…

They sipped their wine ever so slightly again. This was the best answer they had.

“Oh god…” they bemoaned. “I guess…” Y/N sat backwards in the seat for a moment and took a big sip of their wine, preparing. They sighed.

“Don’t tell anybody this, okay?” They said sitting forward suddenly leaning close to Clark. “When I was a teenager, I had this…boy on my block. We were childhood friends but we hadn’t talked for a few years. Then, when I graduated, all of the sudden at my graduation party he showed up uninvited and dragged me…” Y/N swallowed. The alcohol was getting to them, “…he dragged me to a bathroom upstairs away from everyone and uh…that was my first time. Then I never saw him again after that party but I think about him every now and then and I also think about how I had to use my sister's makeup to cover my hickies in 10 minutes before going down to cut cake.”

Clark's breath caught in his chest as he heard their story, the way Y/N was sharing something so personal and a bit embarrassing was extremely attractive to him. He felt his heart beating faster and couldn't stop staring into their eyes.

As they finished their story he gently grabbed their hand to hold it and support them, it wasn't just for them though, it was also to keep him from reacting more than he normally would. He smiled softly at them as they ended their story.

“Don’t laugh!” Y/N giggled. They couldn’t help it, it was a pretty pathetic and embarrassing story. But now, Clark was at their mercy.

“So, now you owe me one question.” Y/N said.

Clark raised an eyebrow. They were now over the small candle of the table.

“What’s your biggest fantasy?” Y/N asked, quietly.

Clark was tempted to say some joke about his biggest fantasy involving them in the most romantic way possible, but that was too predictable and he realized there was no need to. Instead his mind went straight to an actual fantasy of his.

"Oh boy, my biggest fantasy" he said with a smirk as he thought about it, it was a lot less embarrassing than theirs but still a bit embarrassing.

"Ahh...well, you're not going to like it."

Y/N wasn’t so sure. “Go on!” They said, insistently. “Tell me all the little details, you owe me.” They slurred, crossing their arms against their chest, humpfing loudly.

Clark thought about sharing his fantasy, they had shared theirs, so it was only fair he did the same. And it was slightly cute how much they wanted to know.

Clark smiled, he was enjoying their flirty demeanor, that slur and them crossing their arms, it made him chuckle. He was finding it way more entertaining than he should have, but he couldn't resist, even if was going to result in embarrassment. He was being led down a path he couldn't say no to.

Clark leaned forward slightly, so they could hear him better.

Y/N leaned closer so they could hear at all.

Clark was close enough to almost feel their breath as he spoke.

"So for me, my fantasy is basically…to have a family..."

He smiled nervously, trying to keep his cool but it wasn't working, he felt his face become flushed from their closeness.

"That's it. Plain and simple, my biggest fantasy is to have a family of my own one day."

Y/N’s nose wrinkled as they smiled wider and wider before laughing loudly.

“Really?” They said, catching their breath. But after a moment, they considered it. “Actually…that’s really sweet. You really are a sweet guy.” Y/N said leaning back in.

Clark couldn't stop the smile forming on his face as they laughed, the sound of their laughter was soothing to him that even their laugh was attractive to him.

When they finally leaned away, he did as well, but it was impossible to hide his blushing. The whole interaction he was caught in a trance with how sweet and endearing they looked.

He wanted to reply to their compliment, but all the was coming out was a soft, awkward chuckle.

”You know what mine is?” Y/N said quietly.

Clark leaned in, intrigued suddenly.

“Affordable Housing” Y/N giggled.

Clark rolled his eyes.

“I’m kidding!” They smiled and played with the stem of Clark’s wine glass. “It’s actually to be content. Don’t ask me what that means, I’m not sure I’ll know what it is until I find it, but I think it involves someone special and a steady paycheck.” Y/N sighed.

Clark laughed at their play on words, and even their follow up explanation. They were sweet and playful, and he was growing more fond of them with each interaction. Y/N mentioned something he could agree with, a steady paycheck and having someone special in his life would definitely make him content.

Clark leaned forward slightly, his voice becoming softer, more genuine as he replied to them.

"I can understand what you mean, I think the same too. Especially the second part."

”Yeah?” Y/N said. “I think you’re doing pretty good for yourself Mr. Clark Kent getting recognized by the bouncer and is friends with Louis Lane herself” they rolled their eyes playfully.

He couldn't help but chuckle at that, they were right, he was doing pretty good for himself, but he didn't feel like explaining it to them just yet. Not to mention the fact at he was enjoying their playful teasing, he actually loved it.

"I try." He says smilingly, "That doesn't mean I don't wish my life was a little more stable and less dramatic though."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” They sniffed the last half of their wine. “What do you do on the weekends besides read Sherlock and write amazing articles?” They sighed and their eyes moved up suddenly to look at Clark over their glass.

Clark was feeling comfortable enough with them now to share a little more about himself, after all they had just shared their deepest and embarrassing secret so it was only fair he also said more about himself too. And his answer wasn't much different from their initial assumption.

"On the weekends, I try to read as much as I can, I also enjoy watching documentaries and playing certain games here and there...and that's about it."

“So, I guess you really don’t have any secret B side personality you’re hiding from anybody, huh?” They asked.

Clark started to sweat. They needed to know about him…eventually, maybe just not right now.

Clark was caught off guard, they had read him like a book, he definitely didn't want to reveal too much about the double identity he led, but at the same time Y/N wasn't dumb, it'd be inevitable that they find out, unless he did something to prevent that.

Clark smiled nervously with a chuckle.

"I mean-" he starts to reply hesitantly and hesitatingly, he pauses for a second, he can't just reveal everything now.

"Not entirely."

Y/N smiled. “Well we all have secrets, Clark…” they teased.

“I guess we’ll just have to figure these things out about each other, huh?” Y/N looked at the band playing across the bar now.

Clark would tell them. Not now.

But definitely eventually.

“Maybe I’m the crazy serial killer,” Y/N said, unconvincingly, throwing their hands out half-heartedly and bearing their teeth.

Clark couldn't help but laugh at the idea of Y/N being a serial killer, especially when they bared their teeth. The image of that scene playing out was enough to make him chuckle loudly.

"I mean..." he starts, a sly smile on his face, "I haven't seen any evidence that disproves it, so you never know I suppose."

“Well, if I get caught, you can have the first interview with me in prison.” Y/N promised solemnly, with their hand over their heart slightly drunkenly.

“But I can’t promise I won’t eat your heart out first,” Y/N winked and slid a 20$ bill on the table as a tip to the waiter along with more cash for the payment.

Clark chuckled at the idea of interviewing them in prison, but it was all a nice image to paint.

"I look forward to interviewing you then, you can also count on me to bring you some real food besides me." He joked back, playing along with their teasing.

Clark was impressed by how generous they were with the tip, a sweet personality and generous too, he could definitely see why he was crushing on Y/N, his admiration was growing by the minute.

”We should go, it’s gonna snow harder soon.” Y/N said, slurring slightly. They tipped off the last half of their wine and Clark did the same. He still wasn’t affected by it, but Y/N was feeling warm and confident.

The outside of the bar was a bit colder than it was earlier. There was more snow on the ground, but just barely enough to crunch underfoot as they walked. Y/N clung onto Clark’s arm as they slowly sauntered towards both of their apartment buildings.

Clark was enjoying Y/N's affectionate behavior, the way they were clinging onto his arm, the fact that they were drunk and clingy was quite adorable to him. The whole scene was quite cute, it felt safe and comforting in a way he hadn't experienced a lot before. He enjoyed being here, if not for the weather, it'd almost be perfect. He was enjoying this, it was a lot nicer than he had expected.

The walk home was silent, besides Y/N’s occasional humming of a commercial jingle or show theme. Ever so often, Y/N would find the courage to grab Clark’s hand and drag him along confidently towards the end of whatever street they were walking on at the moment, almost skipping and twirling around happily.

Clark had to admit, their actions when they were drunk were cute and endearing, they were so carefree it was hard not to feel happy around them. They were also rather comfortable with being affectionate as well, which he loved a lot about them.

He continued to follow along the lead, but was occasionally tempted to lift Y/N up for more of a romantic carry, but he wanted them to be comfortable at the same time, as cute as they acted and their actions he didn't want to cross any boundaries.

As they got closer to their homes, they also reached a part of town that was dimly lit. They slowed down, Clark pulling the slightly less sober Y/N closer just to be safe.

He was glad he did, because as they tried to round a corner a man decided to test his luck and step out of the shadows with a gun pointed in their direction.

Suddenly, Y/N sobered up real quick.

Clark could see and feel the sudden jolt of cold reality for Y/N, the sobering and shock was a complete 180 from what was happening only a minute ago. Their whole mood and demeanor were almost instantly changed by the sight of the gun and they suddenly became scared and alert.

Clark instinctively pulled them tight and close to him, his body instinctually shielding them with little thought behind the action, he didn't like that his mind automatically assumed he would protect Y/N but knew it was the right thing to do regardless.

”Clark…” Y/N said, backing up slightly, gripping Clark’s arm.

Clark tried his best to calm Y/N down, by the sound of their voice he could tell they were scared and he tried his best to reassure them.

"I'm right here..."

Clark kept his grip firm around their arm while moving slightly in front of them, he couldn't stop the protective feeling towards them and the fear that took over. They were right there in front of him, the thought of anything happening to them was unthinkable for him.

“Wallet. Now. “ the man with the gun said. He was in a dark hoodie.

Y/N fumbled with their pockets. They had their wallet somewhere they swore.

Suddenly, they heard a step towards them, and the seconds slowed down into a quiet silence in time as Y/N watched the gun raise, Clark step further in front of them, and the muzzle flash.

There was a loud noise. And then silence.

“Oh my god,” Y/N breathed, horrified.

In the clearing panic, Clark didn’t seem hurt, if anything, even more angry than before.

He rushed forward, surprising the man with the gun and jerking his arm so it was pinned and he could slam the guy against the nearest wall and knock him out.

Clark's reaction came as soon as they heard the step behind them and saw the gun raise, he moved on pure instinct, all thoughts of being careful and gentle leaving his mind instantly. He moved faster than he ever had before, his anger and a sudden violent urge to protect Y/N overtaking his entire being. He slammed the man against the wall with little difficulty and knocked him out. He had become almost robotic in his movements, acting purely on instinct and adrenaline.

Y/N was shaking with panic, adrenaline, and guiltily…excitement seeing Clark move like that.

“Are…” Y/N took a shaky step forward. “Are…you okay?” they asked Clark with wide, dilated eyes. They couldn’t see a mark on him despite a deep singe on the stomach of his sweater vest. It….

The bullet should’ve gone straight into him with a mark like that…

It was straight to the gut…

How?

Clark was breathing hard, his body was trembling slightly, he was a little out of breath for now he tried his best to stay put together and not show how affected he was. The adrenaline was starting to slow down in his system and leave him feeling exhausted after the sudden jolt.

He managed to give Y/N a small smile, their concern about him was endearing to him and the realization that they must've thought the worst was a bit heartbreaking. He was relieved to be standing here with them now though, safe and unharmed, that was all that mattered.

Y/N was glad to see that Clark was unharmed. But…more importantly, confused.

“Clark…” Y/N asked with a trembling voice, “How did you do that? How are you okay?”

Clark was still breathing hard, his body was feeling weak now that the adrenaline was slowly wearing off. He decided to be honest when it came to their question.

"I'm...I'm not sure, I just...reacted and went off instinct." He replied softly, he could tell Y/N was still shaken up and he tried his best to steady his breathing and heart rate.

"Why, what did you see? Did anything happen to me?"

Y/N’s voice cracked with desperation and disbelief as they frantically stepped forward and grabbed the bottom of Clark’s vest, pulling it so he could see what they meant.

“That bullet should’ve killed you! It bounced off you like nothing!” Y/N yelped.

Clark was taken a little aback by the sudden and strong reaction from Y/N, but he couldn't blame them at all. If he was in their position he'd be freaking out also. He looked down at the vest and realized there wasn't even a scratch on the skin beneath it.

Shit.

They knew.

“Are…” Y/N behind to realize that Clark’s glasses had gotten cracked when he had shoved the attacker against the wall, and they become concerned about the glass around his eyes, they grab the broken frames and pull them away from Clark.

Suddenly, Clark becomes very familiar when he straightens up a little.

“Oh my…Oh my god you’re…” Y/N shakes, Clark panics.

Shit.

He did not want them to find out this way.

”You’re Superman!” Y/N squeaked.

Clark was startled by Y/N's realization and sudden realization. He couldn't believe they figured him out with such ease, he had been hiding his identity from them for so long, and now all of it was laid bare at this moment. He was in too deep now, Y/N already knew the truth, he was powerless to stop them from knowing that now.

Clark had thought the situation was under control, but he quickly realized it wasn't. There was no way he could spin this to make it seem like he wasn't Superman.

”I…” Y/N swallows dryly. “I have…I have so many questions.”

Y/N stepped forward, dropping the broken frames onto the snowy ground.

Clark felt dizzy. He couldn’t tell whether it was adrenaline or giddiness at Y/N being this close to him that was doing it to him.

“What’s it like?” Y/N asked, in a whispered tone.

Clark cocked his head.

Clark could feel his heart beating faster as they were now closer to him, he felt slightly overwhelmed by how close they were to him, but the words coming from their mouth were more concerning to him now.

The fact that they knew his secret, and now wanted to know more about him, Clark was panicking a little on the inside, he didn't really know what to tell them or what it would be like to talk about his identity. He could trust them, he knew that already, he just had to come to terms with the fact that they knew who he was.

Y/N’s left hand came up to reach the edge of Clark’s vest around his arm underneath his armpit, his white dress shirt was soaked and his jacket was on the ground nearby.

“I’m sorry if I’m being to forward I- I just-” Y/N stammered. “I wanted to know you before but- but now?” Y/N laughs a little breathlessly, leaning more into Clark.

“You’re incredible.”

Clark's heart started pounding faster the closer they came, Clark also felt rather hot and flushed from the heat emanating between their bodies, and the excitement from what was happening in front of him.

He smiled gently at the compliment, their admiration and affection was something so new to him, it was a lot to take in but he understood how they felt, what was he was feeling now was new and exciting for him too. He was glad they wanted to get to know him deeper and not push him away now.

“Glad this isn’t a dealbreaker for you…” he said quietly, shoulders untensing ever so slightly.

“Are you kidding?” Y/N threw their head back in disbelief. “You’re superhuman!”

The free hand that wasn’t clutching Clark’s vest came up to trace along his jaw.

“But you’re also a beautiful, and unbelievably kind man, with a lot of very simple and meaningful dreams.” Y/N said, sort of reverently.

Clark was taken aback by their praise and sudden touch, his heart was now beating out of his chest and it was taking all he had not to take advantage of the closeness and pull them into a kiss.

"You...um.." he started, but the only words that came out were those of a stumbling school kid.

"How... um..."

Clark couldn't formulate a proper word or sentence, he was in awe at what they were saying to him. They loved him, they didn't reject him. That was all that mattered to him in this moment.

Y/N just smiled at him and leaned into him. It was cold.

Snow was beginning to fall around them now.

“Clark…” Y/N started. “We should leave and get back home.” They said.

"Right, you're right..." Clark mumbled, he was also slightly annoyed that the sudden change in weather meant the night couldn't go on as long as possible.

"My apartment or yours?" He asked, he didn't really care which one they chose, he just wanted to be near them again. His mind was still racing, what had just happened was so overwhelming that it would be nice to just relax in the warmth of another person's presence as soon as possible.

Y/N’s face flushed as they realized Clark expected them to stay together for at least the rest of the night. It made them warm and fuzzy inside to think that Clark liked them.

“We can go to either, which would you prefer?” Y/N asked. They wanted to let Clark make the rest of the decisions tonight. They wanted to show that they trusted Clark still.

Clark was still slightly giddy and overwhelmed from the situation, not only was he accepted despite his secret being known, but he was also offered a choice in who's place they would stay together for the rest of tonight.

The whole situation was a first for Clark, but he didn't want to let a single moment of this opportunity go to waste. He was happy to be offered the choice, but he decided quickly which he preferred.

"I'd like to come to your place." He said softly.

“Okay,” Y/N said weakly.

It was cute to Y/N that Clark could literally take a bullet for them and still be this shy directly after. They were glad he was fine anyways.

Slowly, they led the way back to their place and made it to their front door without incident. They fumbled with their keys, small keychains dangling on their loop while they fished it out of their pocket and unlocked the front door.

It was modest, but spacious. Y/N wasn’t sure if they liked that they were probably easily readable from just their living room, let alone the rest of the apartment.

“Home sweet home,” they said, dropping their keys in a bowl by the front door and kicking off their shoes by a rack.

Clark watched as they opened the front door, once they let him inside he stepped into their home, it was impressive how they managed to fill the space with such simple details, their whole home was filled with their personality. He loved the vibe they had going on here, and for him it was refreshing to see an apartment that wasn't filled with every fancy feature a high income level could afford.

He stepped inside, removing his shoes and hanging his coat up before setting his backpack down nearby. He walked over to Y/N, not sure what to say next.

”Hi…” Y/N said quietly, as they turned around to face Clark standing closer than before, having to look up to meet his eyes.

Clark smiled slightly, his heart fluttered as their eyes locked, even if it was just a simple "hi" that was all he needed. He stepped closer to them again, leaning his body gently against theirs, he was more comfortable with their closeness now than he had been earlier.

"Hi..." he replied softly.

“What’s up?” They asked, popping the ‘p’ sound on the last word.

Their hands drifted to rest on Clark’s hips. They loved how large Clark was compared to them but they didn’t expect him to be this close to them.

Clark's heart was beating so hard and he was starting to breathe faster as their hands drifted to his hips. He had wanted to get closer to them so badly, to feel them close to him like this, and now they were right where he wanted them to be.

"Uh..." he said before the words quickly faded, he had lost most of his ability to form words and sentences at this point. All he could manage was an occasional grunt or slight noise as he leaned into their touch.

“So…” Y/N sighed. “Do you want to make some hot coco and sit down…maybe, talk about some things?” Y/N asked. There was a certain implication in his words. He wanted to know more about Clark’s real life. His Superman identity included.

Clark was almost disappointed that the invitation wasn't a direct offer to make out at this very moment, but he understood why they wanted to do something else first. He was still happy with the suggestion and was more than open to telling them the truth about himself, he was ready to trust them.

"Yeah...that sounds great!" he replied, with some more enthusiasm than before.

He loved when Y/N made the decisions and took the lead on things, it was refreshing and they seemed to do a good job of choosing an appropriate option to keep things moving forward.

Y/N shuffled away to make them both a warm cup of hot coco. Clark stood in the foyer. They were both slightly damp from the light snow. Y/N looked stunning in this lighting, low lamps and the cold city lights outside the window.

“Clark, you know you can make yourself at home, right?” Y/N teased. “If you want, you can shower and I can see if I have…anything that will fit you since your clothes are…well..” Y/N turned his head and glanced at Clark’s singed vest with a nearly bullet burned hole in its stomach. His white shirt was none the better.

Clark couldn't help but blush a little at the teasing, he was a little bit flustered in every sense with the flirting and touching now, and hearing them say they didn't mind him showering in their place sent that flustering feeling into overdrive.

"My clothes are a bit wrecked, yes." Clark replied, glancing down at the damage on his clothing.

"It could be nice to get comfortable, if I've been invited to stay the night here..." his words trailed off, but he liked where this was going.

“Sure,” Y/N tried to sound nonchalant about it despite their heart fluttering.

“The bathroom is in the hallway to the left, I’ll just knock on the door when I’ve found clothes,” Y/N mumbled the last bit. They would burn that bridge when they got to it.

Clark's chest was now feeling the heat build up as his heart raced at the implications from their words, he loved the suggestion and their subtle teasing about it. It was so unexpected, like they had his whole night planned for him, he liked it.

"That sounds good, I can shower and you can go through your closet and see what you can find, I'm sure I can fit in some of your clothes." He said, smiling at them.

”Go on then, Wonder Boy,” Y/N smiled. They were stirring milk on the stove now. Clark shuffled off in their peripherals to shower.

-

Wonder boy, he really enjoyed when they called him that, although his thoughts were of other things... Like removing his own clothes. He smiled and then started heading to the bathroom off the Hallway, not even waiting for them to confirm if it really was to his left. They were clearly paying attention and he liked that, he felt their focus on him now as he left the foyer.

During the shower, Y/N knocked on the door. The bathroom was foggy but Y/N didn’t hear a response so they turned the knob cautiously.

“Clark? I found some clothes I-I think may fit.” Y/N said, trying to speak through the warm fog. They resisted the urge to look further into anything as they placed the clothes on the counter, but they turned around and couldn’t avoid getting a fleeting glance of Clark’s shape through the silhouetting shower curtain.

Y/N blushed clear to their chest.

“I-I left them on the counter!” They yelped, heart racing, and tried to leave quickly.

Clark was just standing under the steaming hot water with one arm on the wall, he had lost track of time in there and was now only focused on his thoughts. Until he heard the knock, at which point he froze for a second. He decided to keep it simple and not say anything and let them believe he hadn't heard them.

But he did hear them, and their words made his cheeks flush even more. Hearing them call his name with such a cute tone set him on fire. He quickly exited the shower, wrapping a towel around himself before going to check the clothes.

Y/N was curled up on the couch, clothes changed and hair toweled off. They had fuzzy socks on with tiny cats printed all over them.

“Bet you're used to saving a lot of these out of trees, huh?” They said, sticking their foot out and wiggling their toes at Clark.

Two mugs sat on the coffee table in front of Y/N.

Clark stepped up the couch, looking down at the fuzzy cat socks and letting a small, playful grin form on his face as he saw their foot sticking out at him.

"That's right, I love how innocent and adorable they are, they make me want to put them in my pocket and take them home with me." He said jokingly, playing along nicely with them.

He then sat down on the couch, facing them as he took one of the mugs and took a sip.

“Is it good?” Y/N asked, grabbing their own mug.

Clark smiled around a mouthful of coco and nodded.

Y/N chuckled and took a sip of his own.

“It’s my own recipe.” Y/N said.

Clark took another sip of his cup of hot cocoa, savoring the warmth in his mouth as he swallowed the comforting flavor.

He nodded again as he swallowed. "It's delicious. I don't know what you did to make it so good, but it's absolutely phenomenal."

He took a larger sip as he continued staring at their cute fuzzy socks.

“So,” Y/N crossed their legs. “Tell me about yourself, the real you ,Clark.”

They cross their legs and sit back on the couch, facing more towards Clark.

Their eyes pierced through Clark as he drank his coco.

They fiddled with their mug nervously. The snow continued to fall outside with a soft rush.

Clark watched them shift their position to be facing him, he was enjoying this more than he'd liked to let on, he enjoyed when they wanted to know about him. And now here was a question he could answer truthfully, finally telling them the real him. He took another sip of his hot cocoa, not able to resist their piercing eyes for too long. His cheeks were still flush from the shower and the interaction they just had. He set his drink down before responding.

"You really want to know about me, huh?"

“I really like you Clark, of course I want to know about you,” Y/N said softly.

If it was possible to melt like the snow outside from a single sweet word, he would have been nothing more than a puddle now. His breath became quick and short as he smiled and sighed, this was going to be such a big step, but he wanted this, he wanted to make them happy and trust them. He looked up from their eyes to their face and smiled, his heart beating faster than before. He took a short moment to get his thoughts together before replying.

"Okay...where do you want me to start?"

“Why didn’t you tell me you were…” Y/N found themselves having trouble saying it “…Superman.” They finally said.

“And who else knows?” They asked.

He'd feared this question so much, but he would have to answer it honestly. If he wanted to make things work between them, he would have to be 100% honest about everything. The fact that they wanted to know about the "real" him meant they really did like him, and hopefully their opinion of him wouldn't change now that he was being honest with them. He breathed a sigh and took a second to prepare himself for the answer.

"Well, the only other people who know are the Justice league.And obviously, my parents." He said quietly.

”Does Louis know?” They asked. “And the Justice League? God, I forgot how terrifying your job is outside of Metropolis.”

The mention of Lois reminded him how much he cared for her, and also her reaction when she first learned his identity. He shook his head and smiled at the question about his job.

"Oh Lois knows...she knows everything about me as Clark Kent or Superman, actually, she was the one who figured it out." He said, sounding genuinely proud of her.

"And yes, the Justice League. They're basically a group of superheroes who all keep the world safe from danger and help each other out when a villain or other crisis arises."

”So this is how you get all your good information for articles, huh? Using the superhuman charisma power you have?” Y/N asked.

The truth was that Clark did not have the ability to convince most people to tell him almost anything, he didn't use his powers to get information. But it was more fun to play along, so he nodded his head as his smile turned into a mischievous grin.

"Uh yeah, exactly, everyone just wants to tell their little secrets to me. So I can hear all the juicy gossip, not that I would do anything unethical with the information though."

He said with a teasing chuckle, he liked their playful approach. He took another sip from the mug.

Clark was a terrible liar. Y/N could see right through him, but they scoffed anyways.

“Guess that’s why I find you so irresistibly charming, hm?” Y/N drawled enticingly. They moved closer to Clark on the couch.

Y/N's words sent his heart into overdrive and his mind into a daze, this was exactly what he had wanted, exactly what he had hoped to hear from them. He smiled widely as they got closer to him and he couldn't help but let his eyes trace their figure as they talked.

"Is that the reason why you find me irresistible?" He replied back in the same playful manner, not able to stop himself from leaning in just a little bit.

Y/N smiled crookedly, unabashedly. “You tell me…” they said, leaning in. Clark obviously wasn’t going to break his gentlemanly persona anymore tonight, so Y/N would have to do it for him.

Their lips brushed for a brief moment, and Y/N pulled back a hair with a noise like they’d been burned.

Then, in a surge of desperation and want, both Y/N and Clark surged forward at the same time and met in an open mouthed kiss, mugs abandoned on the coffee table.

The first brush of their lips sent a surge through him, causing him to lean forward without any thoughts or regrets. All he was thinking was how much he wanted them in his arms. Their lips soon joined and he kissed back with as much passion as he could muster, every second felt like an eternity in the best way imaginable.

Finally, it seemed like they both couldn't hold back anymore, and suddenly they were kissing furiously like no one else existed besides them. The mugs on the coffee table could wait, they never should have been there anyway.

Y/N pulled back briefly, slightly, having to use their hands on Clark’s chest to push back in his strong grip around their back that had moved there during their quick descent into madness.

“Clark-“ they breathed. “Wai- wait-” they said as Clark looked at them with eyes like a kicked puppy, kisses aiming for their mouth having ended up on the corners and sides.

Clark was not yet ready for this kiss to stop but that didn't matter to him anymore, he wanted to listen to Y/N as they pulled back. He was more than a little flustered as he looked up from their hands to face them, his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. He wanted to say something but he was having trouble gathering his thoughts.

He was so excited, and a part of him would have been happy to listen to them say something about stopping, but another part of him was worried they might say something else. He could feel the heat rising on his cheeks.

”Can we just-“ Y/N swallowed, mouth red and slightly swollen from kissing, “can we just sit here, put on a movie and kiss? I don’t want to go any further tonight. I wanna’ take it slow with you,” they pleaded.

Clark’s grasp around them became tighter. “Yes, yes, absolutely,” Clark wanted everything with them, but he could wait forever if they needed to. And honestly at heart, he didn’t want anything else tonight either. He was getting so much just from what was happening right now between them.

He loosened his grip on them slightly, as it was still a bit embarrassing for him to have acted like that, but he really couldn't help it. He had wanted it so much.

”Hold on, let me just-“ Y/N wriggled out of Clark’s grasp quickly and scurried over to the tv set, fumbling to turn on a show. A re-run of ’The Notebook’ was playing and Y/N laughed thinking about something so sappy playing behind them and their new lover making out and enjoying each other’s company less than 10 feet away.

Clark watched as Y/N’s body swayed and moved as they fiddled with the TV finally settling on something. Clark recognized it and laughed sardonically a little.

“Where were we?” Y/N said, spinning on their heels and turning to face Clark in their sweats and cat socks.

Clark's eyes couldn't help looking at all of Y/N's curves and their movements as they moved to the TV. He was enjoying all the scenery, he had to try hard not to smirk as they laughed at the TV show that was playing. The notebook was definitely a cheesy watch.

Clark laughed at the last question and got up from the sofa, moving closer to them as their bodies and faces became inches apart.

"We were kissing furiously I believe," he grinned, "and you want to keep that up?

“Yes, please-“ Y/N said, moving to straddle Clark’s lap. They halted suddenly, “Ah- but only if you want to,” they said quietly.

Clark's mouth fell open slightly as they climbed onto his lap, it was one thing to be standing near each other and kissing, but having them straddling on his lap was a whole different story. The fact that they suddenly paused and asked a question with so much hesitance had him almost melting just from the tenderness of the gesture.

He placed his hands on their hips and looked up at them with an eager smile.

"I certainly don't have any objections to that plan."

Y/N smiled.

“Good,” they ran a hand over Clark’s neck and leaned in again to kiss him sweetly while they rested on his lap.

Clark was more than happy to be in this position with Y/N, having them straddling him for a make out session was just as wonderful as he'd always imagined.

He leaned forward himself and wrapped his arms around Y/N's waist, pulling them close against him as their lips pressed together once again. His hands ran up to their back to hold them close to him, he couldn't help but let out a few moans and grunts of enjoyment as he kissed them back with equal enthusiasm.

Y/N felt Clark’s tongue brush against their lips. They opened their mouth slowly, letting Clark take the lead. The room felt nice, and they were glad they had put on an old record while Clark was in the shower.

Clark gently probed their lips with his tongue as he took the lead, he was loving every minute of this and was enjoying every second of being so close to them. Y/N's presence and their scent was intoxicating and his arms wrapped tighter around their waist as he enjoyed them more and more.

After a few moments of savoring the kiss, Clark pulled away just slightly as he was feeling a little light-headed from the heat and intimacy of it all.

Y/N felt warm for a different reason this time. They were just so content in Clark’s arms.

“Sleep in my bed tonight?” they asked with lidded eyes and a lazy smile on their face.

Clark was very grateful for this pause because he'd never felt so giddy and warm in his entire life, this had been beyond anything he could have ever thought possible.

A slight chuckle escaped him as he caught his breath, his gaze looking at Y/N with longing and amusement.

"I'd sleep on your porch if you'd let me. " He replied with a mischievous grin.

“Well then, that settles that,” Y/N laughed, a little ditsy off of the wine from dinner now that they had calmed down and a little bit from how Clark was holding them in his grip.

“Let’s go, screw the movie, I want to cuddle,” Y/N brushed a lock of hair behind Clark’s ear and kissed his forehead softly as they smiled.

With that, they both proceeded to cuddle up together on Y/Ns bed and watch the snow fall gently outside. It was warm, they were happy, and the world spun on.

➽──────────────❥

Final note: okkk thanks for reading everyone :) lmk if yall have any requests for me because i am slowly running out of ideas right now and im in a writing mood so this window will not last long sadly

[cocogum]

Armand’s treatment and how it impacted his life.

(‼️ Spoilers for Wakfu Season 4 and its first four episodes ‼️)

One thing that saddened me a lot when I was watching episode 4 was how Armand revealed to Amalia that he had wished he could go on adventures with her and the brotherhood sometimes.

This surprised me at first but I soon realized that it made perfect sense.

Armand was always jealous of her but I initially thought that it was only because she had the most attention from people, even their father. But Armand is the type to keep his thoughts to himself which would explain why despite how we see him looking at Amalia with a disapproving look, we never really got to hear him express his thoughts to her. His reason for wanting to go on adventures with her is also made clear: not only does he want to explore the world because it seems like fun since his sister always felt happy because of it, but the major reason is that he wants his father to look at him just like how he looked at Amalia.

When he finally tells her all of his thoughts and what he wants, we can’t help but feel like what he wishes to have can no longer be granted. Their father died not long ago, it is now too late to do anything.

Armand could’ve spoken up during all those years Amalia went to go on adventures. He had all the time in the world because he was always beside his father at all times.

But no matter how close he was to him, Armand never had the strength to speak his thoughts just like how Amalia dared to do so. It’s ironic really, Armand had the time and the moment to tell his father everything and yet, he didn’t because he didn’t think it was in his right to speak about himself and what he wanted to try.

The years of constantly seeing how his sister was getting loved by the people, how she was being viewed and called a hero by the very same people he was working hard to protect in his own way, how their father kept praising her constantly for whatever she did, how she kept getting adoration for adventuring and risking her life to save her people, while he was instead cooped up in the kingdom learning and practicing how to become king, left him in a position where he believed Amalia always had the upper hand on anything even when he wanted to express himself.

He had learned that every time he proposed an idea or even said some of his thoughts out loud during a particular situation, he would always get shut down by either his sister or his father, sometimes even both (the time when he decided to use a barrier of vines to block Ogrest’s tears but his father told him that his attempts were just “alright” when they were actually very effective for some time, the time where he told Amalia that she can’t leave while his father is terribly sick but his father supports Amalia and encourages her to go with Yugo, the time when Armand stated that none of the rulers had come to support them but his father cuts him off by saying that the queen of Bonta at least brought Joris to them which made Armand’s words sound minuscule and not as serious as the prince intended, etc.)

Granted, sometimes he deserved it (like the time when he got slapped by Eva when he was disrespectful to Dally in the OVAs or the time he did not listen to Amalia’s warnings when she told him Nox was coming and when she tried explaining who Yugo and Adamaï were back in Season 1 but not being listened to despite having Eva to back her up) but the majority of the time, he was trying his best to please his father and barely got a good comment for it.

So it wouldn’t be far-fetched to think that Armand never spoke about what he wanted to his father because he had a strong feeling that the answer wouldn’t be a good one.

As if things couldn’t get any worse for him, when his father takes his last breath and Armand was the only one there for him, who has been by his side all this time, who has devoted his entire life to training, learn and work hard to be like his father, he had only words for Amalia.

To hear his father only speak about his youngest sister and not mention him at all, must’ve terribly broke him on the inside. Even when his father was on his deathbed, he did not address everything that Armand did for him.

And it’s sad to see this happening.

Even though his relationship with his father and sister was mostly shown in the background, it was pretty obvious that their family had some issues that no one wanted to address in the room.

I feel like, in a way, we can somehow relate to Armand.

To feel like we can’t speak our minds properly because of a sibling or a figure in our lives who has shown to be better than us, even when we do work very hard to get noticed we barely get any comments or praises of the same size as theirs, to feel like we don’t matter as much as them so we should just stop talking and let them have their spotlight at all times.

And when we finally get the chance to gain our confidence or get into a position where we don’t feel as self-conscious as we used to before, we come to find out that it’s already too late to express ourselves to the people we’ve been waiting to truly be honest to, because they’re already gone or have moved on from you.

Armand’s case is a bittersweet and albeit depressing one.

What could have been a story of adventure, even if just for one day, was never realized. What could have been an experience that could have felt like a lifetime never happened. What could have been an adventure where he finally has his fun and gains a unique brotherly sisterly duo bond in combat would never become a reality. And what could have been a special moment in his life where he gets to personally know his sister’s friends would always stay a dream.

If only he knew that even a brotherhood member, Evangelyne, has a sister, Cleophee, who had her fun in the group. And even if it was just for a few days, a few moments, Eva’s sister had cemented her place in the Brotherhood and became an official member. To think that even if he had stayed a bit in the group, he would have not just become a part of their lives, but also become a part of their brotherhood.

But despite it all, Armand kept his chin up and looked forward to the future. He did not wallow in his sadness or blame Amalia for his silence during all these years. Instead, he pulls her up and tells her to not be saddened by their father’s departure, especially in front of his tomb tree, and consoles her as they hug.

Unlike anyone else, I believe Armand was able to push his selfish thoughts away (which involved blaming his sister for everything) and instead behaved like a king, someone who, despite not gaining everything he wanted in life, kept going and faced forward for what was to come.

Even though he has not been abandoned by his family, he did feel like he might've been behind everyone else at some point in his life.

He may have not been a part of the brotherhood but he’ll always have a place in his sister’s heart after what he did for her.

And I believe that his competence and his will to protect his kingdom without leaving for adventure would make him get along greatly with a certain white dragon.

[pink-ivy-vines]

ashton's speech about how it 'could have been any of us' isn't about pushing away their responsibility about the mistake that they had made nor about how everyone should immediately forgive them because the entire group is a 'ticking time bomb'.

their speech is about how every single person in that party is just as fucked up as ashton is. every single one of them is still trying to figure out who they are and how they matter.

ashton is a rock who believed that they were nothing. that they mattered to no one, that they didn't have a place, and that in the act of trying to matter to literally anything, they fucked up so hard that they deserved to be left behind just like every single other time before. over the course of these past days, they have found out that

they are not the only one struggling with these types of feelings and

bells hells has a dangerous affinity for accepting dangerous things in order to matter to someone or something (even if that's themselves)

just over the past 48 hours laudna has turned to delilah, imogen has wondered if she should just give in to the power of ruidus, orym has mentioned sacrificing everything to save people he doesn't know, chetney has spoken up about controlling the wolf and his own loneliness/abandonment issues, and fcg and fearne have both given in to do something that would help but that they both tend to avoid (ex. going murder robot for the sake of healing and taking the shard, specifically).

ashton is not advocating themselves of blame; they are stating "i am hearing what you're saying and i am acknowledging that i am not alone. that none of us are alone. and if someone does make the same mistake i did, that we would all still stand next to them."

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Hi, i just saw your post. Tiktok is banned in my country and I am very curious about that video now. So I was wondering if you could summarize or just explain it, if thats not too much to ask.

Hi, darling. Of course, I’ve transcribed it for you 🫶🏻 👇🏻

“After literal years of avoiding reading ACOTAR because of all the bad things I'd heard about it, I decided I would give it a go if for no other reason than to at least know what everybody else is talking about.

What surprised me upon reading it though was how much the books actually appear to reference Israel and Palestine. Maybe this shouldn't be surprising because it turns out that the author Sarah J Maas is indeed a Zionist.

She hails from the Jewish community in New York and has spoken previously about how much happiness she felt whenattending a birthright trip to Israel, as well as the pride she feels at her family's ties to the IDF. Her grandmother still volunteers at an army base while she's in her 80s.

I didn't know about this until I was halfway through the series and at that point I decided to finish it just to be able to see if her politics manifest in the novels, and unsurprisingly they do, especially in books two and three which have the most Israeli Zionist politics.

But before we get into the Zionism that's evident in the series, let's just take a step back and note some of the Jewish influences in the novel.

There are lots of references to the Torah, and the novel also uses Hebrew words, but the most overt Jewish references come in the forms of the characters Miriam and Amren.

Miriam is a legendary figure who is half human, half fae, and was born when humans were enslaved in the Black Lands. She was given as a gift to Prince Drakon, who she escapes, but later falls in love with when he allies with humans.

The two lead her people across a desert to a sea, which Prince Drakon splits in half to lead them to safety before it crashes down upon their enemies. And this lore is obviously an adaptation of the story of Moses and the enslaved Israelites.

Amren’s situation also references Moses. She's a primordial being, godlike in her powers, and there's a scene where the people of Velaris leave lamb's blood outside their doors while she prowls the streets at night, as a sign of respect for her.

If this sounds familiar, it's because Amren represents the Angel of Death, who God sent down to kill firstborn sons in Egypt in the Passover story. Believers were told to mark lamb’s blood above their doors so that the Angel of Death would pass by without taking from them. Obviously, these references are not problematic, and in fact I kind of love it when Abrahamic religions are woven into fantasy worlds, especially when they are subversive and center women.

But where this all becomes a problem is when the Zionist elements come through, which is very clear with the city of Velaris and its underground counterpart, the Hewn city. When you introduce them and contrast them, they are very clearly representative of Israel and Palestine.

In the books, Velaris is a secret city described as a safe haven for the marginalized, particularly queer folk and women. It's considered more advanced than the surrounding cities, especially when it comes to art, and its depiction to me is very reminiscent of Israel's claims that it's the only democracy in the Middle East.

Velaris is contrasted heavily with the Hewn City, also part of the Night Court, which is portrayed as conservative, misogynistic, and homophobic.

Mor, beloved best friend to Feyre, was princess of the city; however, when she had premarital sex, she was brutalized by her family and nearly honour-killed until Rhysand stepped in and saved her.

The Hewn city is considered primitive, and its people live under a mountain. Occupants are not allowed to leave; they do not enjoy the same freedoms as those in Velaris. Apparently, because they were all brutish and backwards, and they just don't deserve them. Never mind that Mor is from the city, and it's proof that the entire population must not share these values. We as readers are expected to believe everybody in the city is homophobic, a woman abuser, and they all deserve to be trapped in what you could call an open-air prison. When Mor is the exception because she is feminist and queer.

As war looms, Rhysand is forced to request the Hewn city’s military assistance. The condition, their leader, who is Mor’s father, requests in exchange, is access to Valaris.

Mor’s father says his people want the freedom of movement that those in Valaris enjoy, which is immediately shot down and then framed by the book as a dangerous thing to grant. And like…not acceptable.

Feyre believes Mor’s father doesn't even want freedom and he's only asking for it to spite her, and for some reason this makes trapping his entire city under the Mountain okay?

This was when I realized how evil the politics of the book actually are. It does not at all question the fairness of generalising the Hewn City’s population as backwards, and it finds the thought of giving the people the same rights as those in Velaris laughable. The craziest part is that Rhysand, our hero, meets the Hewn City's demands by way of introducing what I think is a blockade. It allows them access to Velaris in limited numbers through strict checkpoints and then tells all the shopkeepers in Velaris not to serve visitors from the Hewn City, essentially creating an apartheid state to maintain these people’s status as second-class citizens.

I'm truly baffled at how Sarah J. Maas wrote about this and didn't see anything wrong with it.

Rhysand’s Inner Circle spouts similar rhetoric that Zionists use against Palestinians, and it's pretty clear that Velaris, a city of art and a safe haven for queer people, represents Israel, and the Hewn City a, blockaded territory full of a population that sees women as cattle and hates gay people, represents Palestine

This reductive positioning of Israel as kind of the West and liberatory, and then Palestine as backwards, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic is not new, and it's something we're seeing a lot right now, especially post October 7.

So I think if you are thinking about reading ACOTAR and you've been on the fence because of all the bad things you've heard about it maybe reconsider, maybe reconsider reading it, because we could also talk all day about the feminist issues and the bodily autonomy issues in it but now it’s racist, too.”

[thedeerman]

RadioApple Fic:

Do You Want To Know?

Hey all, this is the first chapter of my little slow burn radioapple fic. Please let me know what you think, I don’t write much!!

Ch1: A New Idea

It’s been three weeks since the attempted extermination. Three weeks since Lucifer just barely saved the life of his daughter in a fight that nearly killed everyone she cared about. Three weeks since he helped to build the new hotel and moved into his very own suite. It’s been both terrible and beautiful for Lucifer. He had hardly spoken to another soul for years and now was thrown into daily gatherings with sinners he didn’t know. Some of which he certainly didn’t care to know. But those gatherings also included his daughter. His wonderful, smart, passionate, forgiving daughter. I don’t deserve her, Lucifer thinks constantly. He spent years neglecting their relationship, burying himself in his own sorrow, and yet Charlie welcomed him in without a second thought. Without even asking for an explanation or apology for his years of absence. He’s not sure where she got such a big heart, but he’s beyond grateful that she has it. And as an attempt to show her just how dedicated he is to helping her see out her dream, he’s been showing up for every morning meeting. Every ‘family’ dinner. Every chore list, cooking schedule, errands run, nearly anything that could be signed up for, he does. Lucifer didn’t mind chores much. Cooking was fun and he could be experimental (in a way that didn’t include human remains, much to the other residents’ delight). Doing dishes or laundry was something as monotonous and calming as making ducks and other little trinkets. And on the days when he really just wasn’t in the mood to deal with it, he simply used his magic to help him get it done quickly. No matter how emotionally taxing, how time consuming, or how frustrating the task was, Lucifer was ready and willing to do anything he could to help his daughter succeed.

It’s because of this that Lucifer ends up on the attendance list for all of Charlie’s ’family’ activities for the hotel. It doesn’t seem too bad at first, but as the activities get to be a little more personal, Lucifer ends up regretting how agreeable he was to his daughter’s every request. A bit too late to be kicking myself for that now... Lucifer thinks as he sits in yet another hotel ‘family’ meeting. The ‘family’ being Charlie of course, her girlfriend Vaggie, the spider demon/porn star Angel, the grumpy bartender Husk, the scary little maid (the one that killed Adam, no less) Niffty, Angel’s one eyed bomb loving friend Cherri, now Lucifer, and... Ugh. This guy, the fallen angel thinks, as the final ‘family’ member graces them with his presence by appearing from the shadows. Alastor... What a pain in the ass. Lucifer doesn't actually have much reason to hate the demon aside from his frustrating theatrics and his need to always be the one Charlie pays the most attention to. Whatever game you’re playing, I’ve got my eye on you, he’s always thinking.

“Alrighty everyone!” His daughter’s voice catches Lucifer’s attention. “Now that we’re all here, I’d like to announce that we will be trying a new activity!” There are a series of groans from the group. None from Alastor, of course. But his creepy, always there smile seems strained, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as Charlie continued. “So! You all know how we’ve been trying out some new ideas as test runs for new residents,” she starts. Yes, and it’s been excruciating. No one involved has been enjoying being guinea pigs for Charlie’s therapy experiments. The only silver lining being that the new residents wouldn’t have to suffer the same fates, as each and every “new activity” so far has been tossed out after a resounding failure of some kind or another. Fights, tears, broken furniture, and excessive day drinking have occurred both during and after a few of these sessions. Her ideas weren’t terrible in concept, but in practice, with demons and fallen angels and souls under contract, they just weren’t working. Lucifer’s attention is once again brought to the front of the room as Charlie continues.

“And yes, I understand that the past few exercises we’ve tried... haven’t exactly ended well.” Lucifer hates the sad look in her eyes as she considers her failures, but it’s gone as quickly as it arrived. “But after a lot of discussion and thinking about how and why our previous activities went so....” She pauses, looking for the right word. “Awful? Terrible? Destructive? Shitty? Depressing?” Angel adds. Vaggie glared his way but the demon wasn’t paying any attention. “Yes, thank you Angel,” Charlie says hesitantly. “So! I took those... experiences... into account while creating this one!” Lucifer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He was a huge fan of Charlie living out her dream, but he wasn’t a huge fan of having to be this close to the action. He lets out a small sigh. I can’t abandon my place as her dad again. Charlie paused for a moment to reach into a bag and hand a bundle of items to Vaggie. Small strips of paper and markers. As Vaggie started passing them out to each of them, Charlie explains. “First thing’s first, I need everyone to write their names down. Once you’ve written your name, please give your paper to Vaggie.”

Lucifer’s anxiety starts up, as it always does when he’s involved in one of his daughter’s ‘family’ activities. He just hopes whatever comes of this involves less property damage than before. He hands his paper back to Vaggie as she walks around to collect them. Giving the papers back to her partner, Vaggie continues the instructions. “You will now each receive a randomly chosen name. The name on your paper will be for your eyes and your eyes only. Do not tell anyone else the name that you got.” Charlie excitedly passes the papers back out, now folded shut. “Except for me!” she interrupts. “I’m going to make a note of who gets who for the sole purpose of understanding the effectiveness of this activity. Don’t worry, no one else will get to see!” Her smile is infectious, Lucifer just can’t help it. He always smiles when he sees his daughter this way, so full of hope and joy. Vaggie hands him a folded strip of paper. Before he can open it to see who he was assigned, Charlie speaks again.

“Now, unlike some of our previous attempts, this activity will not be done as a group.” Multiple sighs of relief are heard, and Lucifer notices that Alastor seems to relax ever so slightly. At least that’s one thing we can agree on... “However,” Charlie continues, “This will be a week-long exercise-” multiple groans again, “that will involve a prompt each morning. That prompt will be a question or instruction that each of you will respond to in a letter. The letters don’t have to be long, but must include a full response to the prompt. They don’t have to be short either, just go for whatever your honest answer is!” She’s practically bouncing up and down with excitement as she says “The recipient of what you’ll be writing for the week will be the name on the paper youve been given. You’ll have a full 24 hours to write your letters. Tomorrow you’ll hand them in to me during the morning meeting, and will then be given the next prompt. Any questions so far?”

All of them are silent for a long moment. Vaggie breaks the silence. “Here are the rules. Rule number one: You MUST be respectful. OUR version of respectful. No insults, no petty jabs. Just answer the prompt. Rule number two: No discussing who each person is writing to. I mean NO discussion. Do not ask, do not tell. If we find out that this rule is broken, the offending parties will be sitting in on Charlie’s hotel-wide group therapy sessions for a month.” Lucifer’s eyes went wide at this. Several others did as well. Group therapy wasn't an uncommon ‘punishment’ (though Charlie wont ever call it that) but the sessions are held four days out of the week and last for one to two hours at a time. And with new arrivals slowly trickling into the hotel to be redeemed, the sessions were getting larger. Lucifer tensed, thinking of the last time he was forced to participate after getting into a spat with the only sinner in the building he just couldn’t stand to be around. Lucifer was not meant for group therapy, that was for sure. The most any of them have been forced to attend for bad behavior was one week. None of them wanted a whole month.

Vaggie looked amused at the group’s reaction to this. She spoke again. “This also includes revealing yourself to the person you’re writing to. These letters are supposed to be anonymous.” Charlie speaks up. “This exercise depends on honesty and anonymity, and I have really high hopes that this one can be used by new residents learning to redeem themselves.” She pauses. “Okay. So now that we’ve gone over everything, I’m going to call each of you over to note down who you’ll be writing to. I’ll then give you a paper with today’s writing prompt and an envelope to put the letter in once you're done. Make sure to seal it! After that, bring your envelope with you for tomorrow’s meeting and I’ll mark the intended recipient on the front. At the end of our meeting you’ll get the letter addressed to you and the next writing prompt.”

All of this information takes a moment to register in Lucifer’s head, but after he’s gone over it all in his mind he’s left with a sense of pride for his daughter. Out of all of her experiments so far, this one is the first that Lucifer doesnt think would turn into an all out war. It seems... feasible. He smiles as she makes eye contact with him, clearly ecstatic with her plan. Vaggie calls each one of them over to the desk that Charlie has against the room’s far wall. One at a time, each member of the ‘family’ does as they’re told and then leaves the meeting room. Lucifer spends a moment wondering who got his slip of paper, the one with his name written on it, until he suddenly remembers that he never looked at his own intended letter recipient. With no one close enough to peer over his shoulder, Lucifer slowly opens up the folded paper to see whose name is written.

Of course. Go figure. Yeah, why not just make the next week my own little slice of Hell? I mean honestly- His thoughts are interrupted by Charlie’s voice. “Dad! It’s your turn!” He looks up and realizes he’s the last one to be called. Everyone else, save Charlie and Vaggie, have already left the room. He attempts to smile as he stands and faces his daughter, but she sees through it immediately. And it's obvious. “Come on Dad... I know who you got.” This surprises him. Was his face really that revealing? “Everyone else’s name has already been marked on my chart, so...” She smiles awkwardly. “Listen, I think this will be good for you! Please, just try your best?” Lucifer slowly walks to the desk and sighs heavily. “Anything for you, sunshine. I’ll try my hardest.” He hands the strip of paper to his daughter and she gives him the paper with the prompt and envelope in exchange. “I dont think I’ve got you on the chores schedule today, but I’m gonna be pretty busy so I probably won’t see you until dinner.” She smiles at him, that glowing warm smile that he’d missed out on for so many years. She encourages him with an “I love you, Dad. You’re gonna do great!” and gives him a thumbs up.

He leaves the room smiling, just loving being in his daughter’s presence, until he walks into the lobby and sees him. Sitting on one of the many comfy chairs, sipping black coffee out of a mug that says “Oh Deer” on the side. The asshole. The worst demon in the hotel. The piece of shit that loves to torment Lucifer to no end. The name on his strip of paper. He strides by as quickly as possible to avoid any contact. Damn it... He thinks on the way back to his side of the hotel. Why, of all people... He can’t get the vision of the neat, cursive handwriting out of his head. His mind focuses on one name and one name only.

Alastor

Read Chapter 2!

[egrets-not-regrets]

Kiss the Cook

Lenora returns home late from work to find Erriox had already prepared dinner.

***Dialogue spoken in Gothic language are bolded and italicized.***

Author's Note: Kind of based off of @bispecsual's tag conversation. ?Poor? Erriox is slowly turning into Lenora's househusband.

OCs: Erriox (Iron Warrior), Lenora

Tagged: @kit-williams, @bleedingichorhearts,

@shadowfirecat, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan,

@barn-anon, @sleepyfan-blog

Lenora heaved her exhausted body through the front door. The aroma of something delicious and warm filled her nose. Her spirit lightened, glad to be home, even though her whole body felt weighed down by leaden weights. She dropped her heavy backpack nonchalantly on the floor with a loud thud. 

In the next second, a warm bulk engulfed Lenora, wrapping her in familiar cedar-scented musk. Her own arms automatically came up to wrap around her Astartes’ waist to return the hug. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against his chest like an affectionate cat, “Hey Erriox. It’s good to see you.” Lenora murmured. He was warm, he was so warm. She could fall asleep right there. 

“Same to you.” Erriox rumbled back, idly massaging the back of Lenora’s neck. She hummed appreciatively. His human’s exhaustion was palpable. He had never seen Lenora this tired in all the time since he started living with her. Lenora had explained that the cusp of spring and summer tended to be the busiest time of her work in the field as multiple projects are starting to run at the same time.  

She had left for work an hour before dawn and only now returned in the evening. He heard her dragging footsteps outside and went to greet her as usual. As soon as Lenora entered, she wavered on her feet, looking about to collapse if he wasn’t there to hold her up. It was concerning to say the least, he hoped this wouldn’t be the pattern for her. 

She nuzzled against his torso, “I thought I would get home earlier…sorry, we’ll cook together to-m—?” The rest of her sentence was swallowed by a big yawn. 

Erriox chuckled, “Tomorrow. I’ve prepared dinner today.” 

Lenora looked up at him briefly, a sleepy, loving smile on her face, “You’re so good to me... I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” She wondered out loud. 

The Iron Warrior said nothing. Even after all this time as her bonded Astartes, he still hadn’t gotten used to Lenora’s casual compliments and declarations of love and appreciation (Not that he’s complaining!). It wasn’t that she was insincere, but it felt strange to receive appreciation over such minor easy tasks that, in his opinion, didn’t deserve such a thing. Erriox discussed this with his Iron Warrior brothers as a topic of curiosity before; it seemed a number of his brothers, both loyalists and chaos, felt similarly, even more so among the more recently bonded ones. He wondered if the inferiority and the feeling that they were undeserving of any kindness and appreciation was something passed down from their genesire or a side-effect from all the thankless wars of attrition that they fought. 

What Lenora had said though, Erriox understood. However, he felt their places in that dialogue should have been reversed. She saved him, fed him, helped him source out or acquire what he needed or wanted, invited him into her life, let him take his own time to sort out his feelings before doing so, accepted all of him flaws and all, in essence becoming his home; his small, precious, piece of sanctuary. What more could he ask for? He was the one who was truly undeserving to be bonded to her. 

“I am lucky you are mine…” Erriox murmured as he tightened his embrace around her. If Lenora heard him, she gave no indication other than further relaxing into his arms. 

Thankfully, Lenora’s sleepy mind moved onto another topic, saving Erriox from having to respond further, “It smells wonderful. What did you cook?”

“Beef and vegetable soup.”

“I bet it will taste as good as it smells.” 

“Do not flatter me before you taste it.” Her Astartis replied dryly. Lenora laughed, her exhaustion temporarily forgotten. 

She let go of her Iron Warrior and went straight to get some bowls and spoons, “Shower can wait. I should have a bowl of soup right now and give an honest review then.” She said, grinning. Erriox followed, letting out an amused huff. 

“This is delicious.” She commented after three bites. 

“Are you sure it is not because you are hungry?” He teased her. 

She mock-gasped, “I would never!” then laughed. Lenora looked at her bonded with an exasperated smile, “It would be obvious if I didn’t like something. I think you did a good job on this one.”

Erriox preened at her approval. Lenora devoured the rest of her soup before getting up to serve herself a second helping. She felt a bit more energized now that her hunger was somewhat sated. As she passed by, she playfully snaked her arm loosely in front of Erriox’s neck. She kissed his cheek, “Thank you for the wonderful meal.”

The Iron Warrior caught her hand in his as she pulled away, “You’re welcome.” He said, pressing his lips to her knuckles. A grin formed on his face as he watched a blush rise in Lenora’s cheeks and a bright smile form on her face before she fully pulled away from him. Her expressions always endeared her to him, especially when he catches her off guard.

Lenora laughed to herself as she ladled more soup into her bowl. Would Erriox wear a “Kiss the Cook” apron if she got it for him?