#and adjusting a final scene that i think is A Bit Silly

[preciouslandmermaid]

yes i’m writing joel no i will not be taking criticism

[saltofmercury]

"a.m."

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Summary: Early morning scenes, small nightmare.

Author's note: HOLY CRAP it's been a while! I haven't written anything in almost a YEAR. I'm glad that I've finally got a lil kick of writing back in me :) This is something small I wrote back in May just to get the gears working again.

"a.m."

You can hear his breathing to your left. 

Morning is just peeking through– a soft gloom enveloping your room. You’re not sure what time he got in, or how he got in this time.

“Why do you even have a key?” you ask when he unlocks the balcony window.

“In case you’re not home to unlock it for me.” He smiles big and wide, stripping the weapons aside.

It’s become a running joke to you both on how he decides to enter your apartment.

Your eyes shoot open. There’s a mountain of pillows surrounding you, warm blankets on top of you. The room is dimly lit from streetlights. You're almost sure it hasn't been a full 8 hours and yet—- your body is telling you to wake up.

You turn towards him. You almost never get to see this side of him. His breathing, slow and rhythmic. He looks so much younger when he’s relaxed. He takes over most of the bed. Arms curled above him, he’s wrapped most of the top blanket around him.

The scar below his left eye is raised, his lips are puckered out. A soft moan escapes his lips, then his body twitches. You’re on high alert.

Nightmares aren’t new. The first couple of nights that he decided to stay over your apartment, you were woken up by whimpers and sudden movements. You would sometimes catch them before he woke up and carefully soothe him back to sleep– rubbing his cheek, placing kisses along his face. Whispering careful “i love you’s” and “you’re alright i’m here now”

By morning, it was like nothing happened at all.

For him, though he may never admit it, it was nice to experience vulnerability. The constant battle he has to get a full night's rest. A plague that encases him at night.

You move closer, placing your hand on his cheek, tracing the scar with your thumb. You place a kiss on his forehead between his brows, then over the scar on his cheek. 

“You’re alright, you’re okay” you murmur.

An exhale — 

his face contorts a bit, brows furrow, then an inhale through his nose.

A hand cups your elbow, rubbing side to side. He’s fighting sleep. His eyes try to peel open.

“What time is it?” His voice, low and groggy.

“It’s too early, almost 5 am” You kiss him, apologizing. 

He groans —not even an hour of sleep. 

“Were you having a nightmare?” 

“No, I got in around 4…” He adjusts himself, the bed springs, a yawn escapes. Deflecting the question.

Sleep carefully disintegrates from his eyes. He inhales, and his eyes blink open. He can make your face out in the darkness, the gloom behind you haloing.

His body, heavy with fatigue, he pushes it aside to get closer to you, wrapping himself around you.

Warmth, vanilla, home, love.

“I used the front door today…” he mentions. He's a little proud of himself.

You giggle, adjusting yourself under his chin. His hand pulls you closer, rubbing warmth to your back. His legs warm around you. 

“Wasn’t it so much easier?”

He scoffs, remembering how ridiculous it felt to walk in with his helmet. He had to disable the cameras in the entrance then double check for anyone in the hallway to not scare them off.

“Everyone was asleep… thankfully. I just couldn’t help but think someone would see me, then see me use a key to enter an apartment.”

You smile at how silly it sounds. The Red Hood having an apartment to come home to.

“It’s much better than entering through a balcony window.” you whisper.

He hums, “Entering through a balcony never gave me nightmares.”

Tracing circles on his back, you lull him back to sleep, waiting for his breathing to even out. You whisper more love into his ear, hoping it reaches his subconscious.

[miguelhugger2099]

Just a silly little request👉👈

Do u think fem!reader likes to wear crop top with no bra and Miguel's boxer. You two are just flirting and teasing each other until Miguel decided to toss the remote to reader for movie night and reflex, she tries to catch it reveal her tits and Miguel just "😳... Nice catch..." And smut if u want. Having his hands speezing them I'm going insane 😭😭

Just One Touch

a/n: this ask has been in my inbox for so long and ur not gonna believe what got me out of my month long stump to write this. everyone thank sir-mix-a-lot's song "ride" it possessed me and gave me energy. excuse the crappy writing, i'm still lowk having writers block so it's not my greatest work. please enjoy and as alwayssss i can rewrite this if you'd like <3 Art: mar_mar0u on instagram ! Unedited btw, plz dont crucify me ill die :(

It wasn’t unusual for you and Miguel to wind down after the sun had set. Movie night was a must, whether it was cheesy romcoms for you to sob to, horror movies for Miguel to be annoyed at, or even action movies to make fun of–as long as it was together. Still, Miguel teased you by holding the remote up above his head and out of your reach. He grins with one hand on his hip and watches you reach up with no progress in sight. “Give it!” You laugh, trying to keep your anger believable. “No, first you take my clothes and I know you’re gonna pick one of those creepy knock off animated movies.” He chuckles and he walks off. Due to the size difference, every step of his was three of yours–practically chasing after him. “Put respect on Over the Hedge’s name! It’s not even a knock off!” Miguel plops on the couch on one side with a huff of laughter. “Fine, fine. Here–take it!” He throws the remote above your head and you pause and stumble back.

You reach high up to grab the remote. “You asshole!” You laugh. The remote hits your fingertips and bounces a bit farther back. Your crop top rides and flows up as you lean back onto one foot to finally grasp the device in your hand.

Miguel could feel everything happen in slow motion. The small glimpse of your underboob before your nipples finally come into view. The grin on Miguel’s face slowly drops and he could feel drool slipping from his lips. He watched your boobs bounce, the roundness of your flesh and perky buds making his cheeks go red. He can’t help the disappointment in his face when your arms fall back down, shirt hiding the glorious view of your tits.

“Caught it!” You smirk at him triumphantly. His eyes continue to glance at your tits.  “Yeah, uh…” He gulps. “Nice catch.” He adjusts his shorts, hoping his growing bulge wasn’t too apparent.

You don’t notice, too engrossed in your victory and making Miguel speechless. So, you crawl in his lap, Miguel’s hands suspended in mid-air as you nestle yourself in his arms. You feel his muscles surround you like a warm comfortable blanket, leaning your back on his firm chest while you click the buttons to turn on the TV.

“So what are we picking this time?” You ask, flipping through random trailers to find what you’re looking for.

“Huh? Oh, uh, anything’s fine.” Miguel shrugs half-heartedly. He’s too focused looking down at your crop top. Slowly and gingerly, his fingers caress your stomach–light and feathery as if trying to be discreet.

“Yeah sure, whatever. Don’t complain if you don’t like it.” You laugh softly, clicking on a random movie that looked good enough.

“Mhm.” Miguel mumbles, not even hiding his disinterest in a damn movie right now. While your eyes are on the opening scene on the TV, Miguel’s eyebrows scrunch together, his lips into a tight line as he resists his urges.

He can’t help it though. He gets handsy, Miguel carefully caressing your stomach. You barely notice it since the two of you always get snuggled up like this.

You only notice when he hikes higher up, his hips shifting slightly while his fingers run up and down the valley of your tits. You smack his arm around your waist with the remote.

“What are you doing?” You ask, trying to sound annoyed but the smile seeps through your tone.

“Nuthin’” He murmurs. Miguel then feels the curve of your breast, his fingers itching for a squeeze.

“We’re supposed to be bonding.” You move to turn your head up at him. You try to meet his eyes but he stays glued downwards to your chest.

“We are.” Miguel insists, his lips slightly parted. His thumb swipes across your nipple and you gasp, feeling your cheeks burn. He can feel the nub perk up and his tongue darts out to lick his lips, biting his bottom lip to hide the satisfied smile on his face.

Miguel takes his chances, bending down to kiss along your neck, tugging you closer to him and making you melt. His body moves against yours and your eyes flutter shut. His mouth gently sucks and licks your skin and you shiver. Miguel grabs your left tit, the plump flesh squeezed in his palm. His fingers flick your nipple, circling around before gently twisting it.

You back arches and you moan. “Ah–fuck, Miguel!” You hissed, a burning heat crawling up your neck. Your hand lifts up to curl in his hair while he attacks your neck, his other hand running down to his boxers you were wearing. He slips his fingers in the front hole of the boxers, using his index and middle fingers to spread your folds apart. You feel him nip your neck with a smile as he smears your slick around your clit.

He then uses both of his hands to lift your shirt up and over your head. Your breasts are now out in the open, the cool air hitting your chest and making your nipples hard. You barely get a word out, Miguel already cupping your boobs and squeezes them. Your hips buck back to grind on his crotch, eyes closing as he plays with you. Miguel used his fingers to tease your nipples simultaneously, flicking and tweaking them. He lifts them up and watches them fall down before squeezing them again. Your pussy is soaking through his boxers, aching for more stimulation that’s making you feel empty.

His eyes are dark watching his own hands play with your chest, the memory of the bounce of your tits as you caught the remote high in the air. He wanted to see that again.

Miguel could feel his cock swell and twitch along with each bounce of your breasts. You have your body arching, hands behind you and holding onto his thighs. He plays with your tits switching with his hands or his mouth–but if you asked him, he preferred sucking on them. So that’s where he was now, lips attached to your right nipple and his right hand playing with your left. You slammed down on his cock, whining since you barely felt him thrust up. But in all honesty, Miguel could do this forever with your tits in his mouth and his cock buried in your cunt. While his tongue sucked and lipped your nipple, he knew if he didn’t focus, he’d cum instantly. He looks up at you after playfully biting down on your nub, your squeaks making his dick twitch against your walls. You look down with glossy eyes, hips stuttering and pussy throbbing when you see him smirk up at you with your boob in his mouth. One of his hands that was on your waist comes up to your back to keep your body arched. Miguel scrunches his eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed while he sucks on your nipple, his hips jerking and balls slapping against your ass. You wail with each thrust, falling forward and holding onto the backrest making your boobs squish in his face. Miguel groans as he lets you fall on top of him, hands falling down to your ass as you grind on him. His cock slips in and out of your wet cunt with a wet squelch. It makes you bite your lip with a loud whimper, the action making your man under you tug on your nipple with his teeth. He’s obsessed with you, Miguel pulling away just enough to make your tits swing in his face. He glances up at your pleasure filled face, sweat glistening down your face and body while you panted and whined. He’s entranced, eyes falling down to follow the way your boobs bounce as he fucks up into you. Miguel trusts you to keep fucking yourself on his while his hands leave your ass to come up and cup and squeeze both your breasts. He kneads them and watches your mouth drop open to moan. Your head hangs and your foreheads almost touch. Miguel doesn’t need to tell you a damn thing, his lips parted while he looks at yours. You lean down to kiss him, Miguel immediately slipping his tongue past your defenses with a low groan. He continues groping you, his hips smacking up with your thrusting and he can feel himself about to cum. He can tell you’re about to too by the way your pussy spasms wildly, sucking him in deeper and soaking him in your slick.

So he hammers into you, grunting as he puts all his strength in making you cream. Your eyes roll back, mouth separating from his to dig your nails into his shoulders and roll your hips. You can barely get a word out, garbled moans of his name escaping you while your body twitches, ecstasy flowing through from top to bottom. Miguel watches your chest heave as you catch your breath, your juices dripping out of your a making a sticky mess in his lap. You’re dizzy and weak, body flopping forward on his chest. Miguel soothes you, curling his hand in your hair and pressing you into the crook of his neck. He kisses the top of your head and you’re too numb to feel him take your body off him. He places your back down on the couch, hair sticking to your face with sweat, lips plumped from kissing. You’re whining when your sensitive folds feel his still hard cock rub in between them, accidentally slipping his tip in a few times. You swallow to get the dryness out of your throat. “Mig…Mig…” You’re cut off when Miguel slams into you, your body jerking and tits bouncing with the hard thrust. Your hazy vision rolls onto his face, Miguel glued onto your chest still. He gives another few soft thrusts and watches your boobs jiggle around. You feel his cock jump inside your walls, a soft hum of approval coming from deep in his throat. He bends down, biting and licking the side of your tit to add another mark to his collection. His teeth marks littered around your plump and round flesh–his favorites being the ones around your areola.

His face is buried in your breasts while he pounds into you, your head thrown back and legs locked around his waist. Oh, he’s in heaven.

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

Simon Riley lets out a high-pitched squeal when you shower with him first time because the water is too goddamn hot. (but it’s the best temperature for you).

LOL YES YES YES THIS IS SO TRUE!! Idk why but I also have a hc that he prolly jumped a bit to avoid the hot splash because in his military life he's used to shower in cold ass water, and rarely has time to adjust the temperature since he showered in rush (3 minutes shower). His skin might be a little pink or red after warm (hot) shower. Please just give this man lukewarm bath with rubber duck, shark and starfish, a gentle scalp massage would be a help too and trust me 100% he's addicted to it

yes he deserves a nice bath 😈 ty for the ideas!! this is just some little scenes I think will happen :D!

Simon*Reader, silly couple

btw anon’s talking about this post

Shower with Simon Riley

1.

You finally convince Simon to shower with you the first time (not that he doesn’t want it, he’s just not familiar with these intimate couple things, give that man some time to build his courage).

You throw your clothes aside without any bit of shyness, and step behind the shower curtain, turning on the water and waiting for Simon to come in.

You can’t help but salivate at the man’s figure, and he seems to notice your gaze, his ego must thrive to sky-high in mere seconds.

Until you rinse the water on his chest.

“eee!”

“???” You almost doubt it’s a seagull showering with you when you hear the high-pitched squeak coming from your lover whose voice is always low and gravel.

“...” Oh, and he’s avoiding meeting your eyes now.

“Did you just squeal Simon?”

“No.”

“But I heard—“

“No.”

2.

“You want this bath bomb or this or that?”

“They’re all fucking same.”

“No, this is vanilla, this is lavender, this is rose and this is...”

“Bloody hell... just choose one for me.”

“Alright then.” You toss the vanilla one into the lukewarm water.

10 minutes after Simon falls asleep in the bathtub with the rubber duck in his hand when you softly scratch his scalp.

...

A few days later, you open the drawer outside the bathroom and get drowned by tons of vanilla bath bombs.

“I thought someone said all of them are the same...” You smirk at Simon, while he just stares at you and can’t find a convincing reason to defend himself.

3.

You discover Simon’s skin turns into light pink after showering with you a few times.

“You’re like a strawberry” You two are cuddling on the bed after a soothing shower together. “Your skin always becomes pink after you shower with me.”

“I’m not a fucking strawberry.”

“How about peach?”

“That’s the same.”

“but it’s cute, seeing your cheeks turn red.”

You poke his face cheekily, but he just shoves your blahaj on his face to cover it.

“What, Simon?” You snicker as you scoot closer “Shy for being said cute?”

“...” He doesn’t answer, just covers his face with your plushie more secure.

“How can I kiss you when you cover your face, handsome?”

“...” Simon still maintains silence, but you’re damn sure he’s hesitating.

“You don’t want my kiss?” You fake a disappointed tone, and eventually, he moves the blahaj out of his face.

Your smile deepens when you still spot the pink smearing across his cheeks.

“That’s my man.” You peck his lips “Thanks, cutie”

You really should stop teasing him. You tell yourself when he smashes the blahaj on his face again once he hears you call him cutie.

[buckyownsmylife]

let the games begin - sebastian stan smut

The one where you ask him to explain the pepsi cup scene to you

Warnings: best friends to lovers, best friend!reader, hopelessly in love!Seb, reader has hair long enough for Seb to “play with” but do with that as you wish, innocent!reader, smut.

WC: 1.8k

A/N: this is just a sweet little smutty one-shot of best friend!Seb realizing you feel the same for him. I didn't delve deep into the smut because to be honest, this has been in my WIP list since the movie came out and I just couldn't be bothered to write more than what's here, yet I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

Seb’s P.O.V.

“You ready for this? You know we don’t have to watch it, right?” I tried to convince her one more time, and still, she just rolled her eyes and pulled me to the sofa next to her. Oh, how I loved to feel her smaller frame tightly pressed against mine.

“Don’t be silly, of course I want to watch it. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever done, I can’t let one slightly scarring movie keep me away from this long standing tradition.” It warmed my heart to think that she’d been doing this way before we even met.

I kissed her temple before adjusting so her body would rest against my chest, and settled in for the film. I knew it would be an experience, to say the least, watching this with her, so I tried to prepare myself for anything that could happen.

She could end up traumatized and unable to look me in the eye. At the very least, it would certainly serve as ammunition for her to tease me for years to come, and that was one turn of events I could deal with. The first one was my real concern.

So I settled in to watch the movie, because I figured it would be best to be around than to wait for her reactions afterwards. What if she never wanted to see me again? I knew it was just my anxiety coming up with the worst possibilities, but it still scared the crap out of me.

I couldn’t imagine my life without her anymore. And maybe one day I’d grow the courage to tell her about it, but for now, I was perfectly happy just sitting here with her and offering some support when my character started to freak her out.

“Hey, there you are!” She giggled in excitement, pointing at the TV like I wasn’t watching it with her. It made me chuckle, seeing her act like a little kid when it came to me doing my job. God, she was precious.

“Yeah, there I am,” I agreed, leaning over her to deposit a quick kiss against her temple, but much to my surprise all I got was a nudge and a hush. “Are you shushing me?” She finally unglued her eyes from the television to look at me with disappointment all over her features.

“Seb, I love you, but if you keep interrupting the movie, I’m gonna kick you out and there’s nothing you can do about that.” I wanted to point out that if she did, she’d have to watch it by herself and there was no way she’d be able to sleep, but I didn’t want to risk her fury. So I just sat back and pulled her with me, playing with her hair as I watched the story unfold before my eyes.

For whatever reason, I seemed to forget that I looked a bit… different in my role at some point, and as I gained weight before our eyes, she turned around to look at me with a look I couldn’t figure out. It made me nervous.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I had to ask, but she didn’t immediately answer me. I felt embarrassed, it was almost like she was comparing me to the man on the screen, and I didn’t know which one she preferred. 

Could it be that now that she’d seen me like that, she couldn’t unsee it?

“I’ve always thought you looked better when Don wasn’t trying to make you look like some sort of bodybuilder, but this role just confirmed it to me. You’re even sexier with some weight on your body.” 

My cheeks burned, and I didn’t know what to say. So I just cuddled her to me once more, focusing on the screen as I tried to work through my emotions - and there were many. Desire, barely concealed lust, something the hardening member inside my jeans wouldn’t let me forget - but also something warm and comfortable, settling deep inside my chest.

I didn’t want to give it a name. So I just pulled her to me yet again, kissed her temple and pretended to go back to watching the movie, while I waited for her attention to be redirected to it once more. When I was sure she wasn’t noticing me anymore, I got back to analyzing her reactions, chuckling under my breath at the way hers hitched at every little thing, and how she squeezed my thigh when she thought something scary would happen.

And then the car scene started. My muscles immediately froze underneath her, having completely forgotten about this particular part of the movie.

“What’s going on?” She asked, first surprised and then confused. “Is everything okay?” I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t even look away from the screen, flinching as it developed right before my eyes. It was like my own self-made train wreck: unavoidable and paralyzing.

“Seb…” She reached out for my hand, asking for my attention, and I licked my lips and took a deep breath before turning to give it to her.

“I don’t get it, what’s going on?” I was about to tell her that I was just embarrassed, but the confusion in her eyes as they darted from the TV to my embarrassed self suddenly made sense to me.

“Wait,” I started, holding her jaw so she’d fix her eyes on mine and forget about the movie for a second. “You don’t understand the scene?” She hesitated for a second before nodding, biting her lower lip in that way she did when she was nervous.

It made the warmth inside my chest expand and take over my entire body, shooting straight to my lower belly, where it began to burn. 

Fuck. Who would have thought that she was so innocent?

“Do you want me to tell you?” The question left my lips before I could ponder if my concern came from a valid place - my desire to help her, always. 

But maybe things happened for a reason - maybe it was some sort of ungodly gift the idea of watching this movie together, because as I watched her glance over at the screen again and then lay her eyes on me, I saw it with perfect clarity:

She was aroused by it.

“Or would you like me to show you?” Another question that slipped from my lips unintentionally, another sentence I didn’t regret speaking. This… tension, it had always been here, between the both of us. I’d been too much of a coward to act on it before so if the ball was on my court now, it was time to let it roll.

“’Cause I’d be more than happy to.” With my last reassurance, the thread between us broke, and in a second, we were kissing. Who made the first move, I’d never know. All I cared about was her taste, how sweet she was, and the tiny little whimpers I could hear escaping her when I had to pull back to take a breath.

My body still acting of its own accord, I got up from the couch to take my pants off, hand immediately going to my hardness to release some of the frustration she was causing me. Thankfully, she didn’t seem scared - just hungry, looking at me with doe eyes and biting down on her lower lip before I pulled her closer so that her hand rested over mine.

“Fuck…” I whispered against her neck at the first contact of her hand on my naked dick, but for some reason that was all it took for the spell to break.

“Seb, I can’t…” She pulled away from me, chest still heaving from desire, but I felt so damn guilty I couldn’t even feel good about it. “I can’t do this and then pretend that it didn’t happen.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

His face softened up instead of becoming angry, like I expected it would. “Come.” He got up from the couch, offering me his hand, which I took without second-guessing myself.

His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

He took me to his bed, where he kissed me deeply once again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be patient.” How could I say that I’d let him do anything to me?

Within seconds, I was naked. It was unlike any other similar experience I’d ever lived, and the way he stared at me only had me falling deeper into the cloud of comfort that only Seb could provide me.

“Spread your legs for me, honey.” I did so instinctively, also closing my eyes in nervousness at what was happening.

“Keep looking at me,” he asked, and so I reopened my eyes, finding him staring at my most private spot with hunger in his. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

Before I could comprehend what was happening, he’d yanked me to the edge of the bed and proceeded to kneel down before me, lips kissing my inner thighs and navel while I panted softly.

“Fuck, I can’t believe that I get to taste you,” he uttered before his tongue stuck out and he did just that… He tasted me, and nothing had ever felt quite as great as that simple gesture.

“How does it feel, sweetheart?” He asked in the midst of attacking my clit with his tongue and lips, the hot muscle swirling over it and making my head spin. “Do you like this?”

“Yes, yes!” I nodded, hand flying down to hold him by the hair and keep him attached to me. “More, I want more.”

“What?” He teased me, the devious thing. “You want what?”

“More,” I insisted, pushing him down so his face would connect with my pussy once more. He didn’t keep up with his pretense and kept on licking me until I saw stars behind my closed eyelids, screaming his name for dear life.

“Kiss me,” I begged breathlessly once I was able to speak again, and he leaned over me to grant me my wish, allowing me to taste myself for the first time in my life.

“You know…” I struggled to find the courage to say what I wanted, but I knew I could trust Sebastian. “When we actually do it, you don’t need to be so gentle…”

He bit my shoulder in response, shaking his head at my antics. I thought I was dreaming, being naked in his bed, having just had the best orgasm of my life.

I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.

“I don’t want to go to sleep tonight,” I confessed, watching as the most beautiful smile opened up in my best friend’s face.

“Lucky for you, there are a ton of things we can do to pass the time.”

[sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw]

Day 21 | Dry humping - Victor

Kinktober masterlist

Gender-neutral reader (genitals not specified)

Word count: 1k

18+, slight embarrassment, dry humping, minimal editing

The mind can be a bit silly. It wanders and dreams up memories that never happened. Play a scene before your very eyes that isn't even happening, if you allow it to wander.

How his skin felt, how his hair would smell if you tucked your face into it. How the fabric would feel in your hands as you took it of-

You heard your name.

The sound snapped you out of it. Beautiful diamond-like eyes stared at you with concern from the other side of the desk.

You forced a smile. 

“Sorry, Victor. My mind must've wandered while you read the report.”

It was a miracle you weren't more flustered or stuttering. Did you have any shame left?

“Oh,” he smirked playfully. “Were you thinking about me?”

How you wanted to answer with the sluttiest ‘yes’. You might have too, if he didn’t start again before you could.

“I jest,” He smiled. The brief intense look in his eyes gone. “Sorry I bored you. Your report was very good! You did an excellent job! I can tell you worked very hard on it.”

He was always so sweet, and made you so happy. His genuine, sweet smile making your heart flutter against your ribcage. “You’ve really adjusted to life in the darkness. It makes me so happy.”

Your smile grew even wider. “Thank you, Victor. I couldn’t have done it without you and your endless support.”

He gasped dramatically and held his hand to his chest. You could have sworn you saw tears in the edge of his eyes. “I’m so pleased to hear you think so highly of me.”

A pleasant warm feeling filled your chest. Somehow your mind started to wander again.

“Oh, before you go, the Queen asked me to give a gift to you. She figured it was only right after all of your hard work.”

Your eyes widened and you straightened up in your seat. “Oh?”

“One moment! I’ll get it out.”

He leaned down in his chair and opened a drawer. You stood from your seat and walked around the desk to look. You peered over. Your eyes were more focused on him than the floor.

Your toe caught on something and your body tumbled forward. When your eyes opened his hands were on you to steady you. And you were in his lap. 

Your body was so close to him.

His eyes were wide and his face flushed for a brief second. The concern in his eyes lingered.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. You suddenly realized your hand was resting on his chest.

His fingers touched below your chin. They gently and seductively tilted it up, until your eyes looked directly in his. “If you wanted to touch me, you could have just said so.”

Your whole body went hot. Your muscles nearly trembled from holding back.

His carefree smile returned. “Jus-” 

You pressed your lips against his. Your control shattered. Your hands gripped the front of his jacket to pull him close.

He stiffened and a soft moan came from his throat. You pulled away already panting. You stared him directly in the eyes.

“I want you.” It rolled off your tongue so easily. Your desire finally made itself known.

You could feel his chest rise and fall. He sucked in a breath. His eyes still caught in shock, uncertainty swam in them. You smiled softly at him and slowly pulled him in. He leaned in and your lips met again.

Warmth sparked in your body as his lips kissed back. Moving perfectly with yours. He held you close. His hands held onto your sides.

You opened your mouth and the kiss quickly deepened. A hunger invading it as his hand went to the back of your head and held you close. He angled his head to kiss you better. All of the longing and need for him you had held back suddenly poured out. You adjusted to straddle him.

Your lips tangled together and you pressed into each other. The both of you gave into desire. You lowered yourself. Your crotch came into contact with his. Your breath hitch. You gave an experimental push. Your kiss muffled the sound that came from him.

Your breaths became heavier as your hips rolled into each other again and again. Pleasure bursted in you each time. You pulled back just a bit and bit your lip. It felt too good. It grew hotter and harder as you grinded against it. Your breath fluttered and you held on tight to him.

His lips brushed against your ear and he kissed it. He lightly jerked up into you. The pace became more frequent.

“V-victor!” You nearly cry out as he catches just right against you.

He gasped. His grip on you tightening, yet never losing the gentle touch. Like he was afraid to hurt you. Like you were a fragile treasure.

You melted together and hugged each other closer. Moaning and kept moving as the pressure built up. Your nails dug into him before you cried out and your hips stuttered.

He pressed you close with his hand on your lower back as he moaned loudly.

You let yourself collapse onto him. His muscles went limp, but still held you just as tenderly. You looked down between you and saw the wetness that seeped through his pants… or yours.

You laughed softly and leaned your forehead against his. You stared into his eyes for a moment, and in that moment you couldn’t think of a thing to say. But you knew you wanted to say something.

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

“No, thank you.” He leaned back to kiss your forehead. “You… truly are a wonderful person.” He rested his head against yours again.

You rubbed his arm through his clothes and smiled.

[thebelovedmuse]

I kinda want some puppet gore in these x reader things, like torn felt with stuffing poking out or missing limbs. So~

Wally Darling finding an injured puppet (Reader)

(darker reasons can be implied for the injuries, but having Wally try to put someone back together to save them and nurse them back to good health feels more on brand for him.)

Your eyes open to see the light streaming through the treetops and confusion sets in. And then the pain. You try to sit up to look around and are horrified by the scene, you find yourself in the woods. Not only that but you realize the pain is coming from a giant gash in your abdomen, stuffing poking out. You slowly roll yourself over, hoping to get yourself on your knees when you now see that one of your hands is almost fully detached, hanging on by bits of felt and thread. You sense that your threading is loose in other places as well. You finally get where you can stand and slowly start limping your way through the forest, holding in bits of stuffing as small pieces start to fall out of you.

As you walk you think over how you came to be like this. The last memory you have is standing in your yard, taking photos of the sunset. Then nothing. You must have been in the woods all night, the thought makes you shiver. You finally see the neighborhood through the trees and with the last bit of energy you have you clear the trees, making your way to the street where you notice a few of your neighbors having a chat. Your vision goes dark as you once again pass out.

You open your blurry eyes and sense that some amount of time had passed. At least you were inside somewhere now...your eyes start to adjust and you realize now that you are at Home. Laying in a bed with Wally sitting in a chair nearby keeping watch over you. Wally jumps up and moves to your side seeing that you have regained consciousness. "Oh Neighbor, I'm so glad your ok!" Wally exclaimed, running a hand down your arm. You look down and see that you have been lovingly stitched back together. You try to sit up, "No, please rest Neighbor. We were all so frightened for you, we weren't sure if you were going to make it. I offered to have you stay here until you're fully healed."

A week or so passes at Home, Wally has been amazing in his work of taking care of you. Getting you whatever you need, he was almost glued to your side and you couldn't help but feel your affection for him grow. He had been so sweet, reading to you in the afternoons and exchanging stories with you while sitting next to you in bed. You begin to notice signs that these growing affections were not one-sided. Prolonged glances from Wally, light brushes of hands when sitting together. You felt like a new bond had formed during your stay here with him.

While in a conversation one evening, Wally's eyes light up, "You know Neighbor, I should go check your yard for your camera. Its probably still there. Maybe you can practice your photography skills here at Home." You smile, that would be a wonderful idea and missed taking photos you think to yourself. This joy is short lived when you have a sudden realization, you feel yourself freeze and your body grow cold. "W-Wally..." you stutter out, "How did you know about the camera? I didn't mention that...." Wally tilts his head, "Of course you did, silly. Don't you remember?" You start questioning yourself but you can't escape the nagging feeling that something is wrong. You glance up to see Wally now hovering over you, his dark eyes seem to grow unnaturally large.

"You know Neighbor, if you're having problems remembering things maybe you aren't fully healed yet, you should stay longer. Stay here with me."

[wigglesdtuff]

Hi sorry for sending another ask but I found out I'm super close to the TimeSkip (from one Robin lover to the other robin lover) and I seriously (i did theres no hiding it) wanted to burst into tears when I saw robin (and ussop- he made me upset to) please tell me how to get used to it or if I'll get used to it :,(

Oh you have come to the right place for I dearly love her timeskip design. It was admittedly jarring in the anime (the style shift alone is jarring. The manga eases you in more as the style is still consistent) and it did take me a little while to get used to her new design, but the more I thought about it and the more we see her interact it settled in and made me fall even further in love tbh. A lot of it comes from the skin color (for everyone really), the colors the anime veers toward and the lighting for a big stretch is just. Not great. The skin color has been discussed ad nauseum at this point, so I'm not touching on that. You can see where I stand on that with the way I color her. NOW. I will ramble. I will try not to spoil.

The big thing is her lack of bangs. Bangs are so cute we love her old look, no one is saying they don't. However. To me it is a really great bit of visual storytelling. She is quite literally healing from her past. Her face is softer, less harsh, and she isn't trying to cover anything up anymore. She's no longer wearing the same hairstyle she did since she was frozen at 8 years old. She's let it grow out! Quite literally she is a new person since Luffy saved her life.

Fishman Island alone shows just how comfortable she is. Robin is often shown in the background in a lot of panels or scenes just smiling with a 💬 because she's just. Content and enjoying observing the Straw Hats after those two years apart.

Her hair is so cute to me because it's actually slightly different each arc post TS, as if she's purposefully trying out new styles. Nami does this too, and to me it really helps cement that time is passing and they're not just wearing the same outfit day in and day out.

The biggest thing to me is her willingness to openly emote. It is very VERY clear that she is being influenced by the rest of the crew, and it's very endearing. She has always been silly, but she's had to lock that part of her away because she's been isolated and hunted like a dog. She's safe now and she knows it! In short, Post Timeskip Robin is this poor 30 year old finally getting to be herself, and besides just being gorgeous, I think that freedom to be what she wants instead of masking or hiding is beautiful!

In summary: Yes it's an adjustment and no it's not for everyone, and admittedly the anime style (from Fishman Island up until Wano) gets pretty bad especially with women, HOWEVER, it's good visual storytelling to show just how much Luffy has actually changed her life for the better.

I'll reblog with some more photos I'm only allowed 10.

[crownsandbishops]

Crowns and Bishops Behind the Scenes (part 1)

In today's extra long post, for the anniversary of Crowns and Bishops I will be giving you guys a peak behind the process of creating a comic for the Blog, in this case, Vine's Lore post! The Final one of the main set! For extra long asks like this I always start out by typing up a script, laying out exactly what I might want to say in response to the question at hand! Here's the full typed script for Vine's lore post [it ended up SUPER long, I think because I've had the most time to think about Vine's character and what I wanted for him haha!]

From there I start on the first panel, and as anyone who has seen my wips or just knows how I drew things, every Jir character starts their life as a circle!

I reuse some assets mostly for backgrounds to make the process go easier, such as these pillars and skulls in Narinder's realm!

Because mspaint doesnt have layers, different coloured outlines are used to create what is essentially different layers so that adjustment to one section doesn't affect another!

I kept this one mostly the same but adjusted the legs because it wasn't looking quite right!

for details like the shawl stripes I overlap the lines like this and then paste over it with the red being transparent, so only the details on the red remain!

When I'm happy with the main image I then add the text from the script!

It usually takes 4-5 iterations before I'm happy with placement, clarity and spacing! I also often have to account for the colours i use to make them the most readable against the background of each panel!

I look up reference images for this, like the standard way that a cloak like this one would be held together!

And since the Lands of the Old Faith is a closed-off continent in the preindustrial era any background will be confined to one of the five Bishop's lands! For this one I've chosen a forest like the one in this trailer for the game, but with an adjusted colour pallet!

I decided for the next panel, since Vine's mother's characterization was kind of a messed up allusion to the virgin Mary, that I should reference a biblical painting related to it and found this one

Though the cosmology and relations are different, the Seller was the obvious stand in for the Angel Gabriel in the picture!

Some panels start with the background, others with the character depending on what makes the most sense! Here I have a bit of both worked on but I'm focusing on drawing Vine!

For the ritual sacrifice Vine and his mother created a fake traitor's razor as the ceremonial dagger, and a clasp reminiscent of Gaap's, Narinder's most favoured vessel up to this point, as well as utilizing ceremonial paint and other decorations and representations related to Narinder!

When drawing imprisoned Narinder the hardest part tends to be fitting the veil properly above his opened third eye!

For the next panel, I show the intersection between the three vessels, as though Vine would've been born while Nelly was Narinder's vessel, Acedia does come before him in the order, so I had to square away how that would work!

When I initially decided on the order for Narinder's vessels I hadn't decided on the broad strokes of who they were and how they would've been chosen, so Acedia being before Vine but only for a single year between Nelly and Vine ends up quite silly!

If there's no real room like here, I'll sometimes extend the canvas to add black bars to add the text in.

I asked my chat for a follower form and was suggested Wolf, so the follower Vine is charming here was made a wolf!

I use this wall asset for the cult grounds in the background!

And I have various colour references for other things like Camellias and the outfits for non-cult affiliated denizens of the Lands!

( apparently, I can only have so many pictures so >:3 Part 2 awaits!)

[lunar-years]

The batshit thing about the R/K shippers hating on Jamie is that Keeley and Roy both love Jamie. The haters have completely ignored every character beat and growth and instead focused on "het couple is always end game" and got pissed when that didn't happen because it turns out their characters are more nuanced than that.

they mischaracterize all three of them to an insane degree because they for some reason feel the constant need to prove that R/K are the healthiest most well adjusted couple in the history of television and Jamie possesses absolutely zero threat to their relationship whatsoever because they both are merely 'putting up with him' at best or secretly hate him at worst (all of which are laughable claims to anyone who has watched the show with their eyes open, and possesses even the most meager analysis skills in their brains).

I also think the way they talk about R/K is often so reductive if not genuinely gross (in addition to just being like, generally of a heteronormative flavor)...and that's the ship they're meant to LIKE. like there were people yesterday screaming about how "Roy would NEVER share Keeley!!!1!!!" and it's like...well Keeley isn't a toy they're passing around or hogging, so jot that down. She's a person with her own agency, who isn't with... get this... EITHER ONE OF THEM at the end of the series!!! Yeah, that includes ROY!!! So Roy at the moment really has zero say in whether she wants to fuck Jamie again or not, lmao. she's every bit as capable of getting back together with him as she is Roy post canon. and if they were together, opening their relationship to someone else would be...a mutual decision...because Keeley is a whole character of her own and not just a prop for your male fav...

And then there's the whole "well we ship something that's actually CANON and therefore BETTER, whereas R/J & RJK shippers are just weaving mystical delusions because they're ~desperate for representation~ or whatever. Which is apparently why the Apple TV account and even the actors should never, ever so much as allude to RJK again, because it diminishes their "real and correct" couple. Again, NEITHER PAIRING IS EVEN ENDGAME CANON.

And finally, all the little ways they constantly try to mask the fact that they just hate Jamie because he's in the way of their ship with "real analysis" that boils down to such riveting takes as: "Jamie = Irredeemable and Bad because he hurt Keeley three seasons ago" "Roy = baby boy who has never hurt Keeley ever in his life and is perfect for her in every which way. oh? here's a canonical scene where Roy is canonically hurting Keeley? WELL, that's just bad writing. OOC, that is. the writers just suck. my favorites cannot be flawed"

anyway...I love roykeeley in the very specific way they exist in my head but i really need the r/k diehards to like... step back and accept the fact that they canonically BROKE UP and are not inherently perfect and better than any other ship between flawed characters. go read fanfiction and imagine the ending of your choosing to your heart's content, like the rest of us, and stop targeting social media managers jumping on the latest silly internet meme. sorry for the rant it's just....so fucking irritating

[jazzypizzaz]

Fanfic writer interview meme

thanks @obstinatecondolement for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What's your total AO3 word count? 337,715

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This DS9, Quodo cuddling, Odo is a blanket. Of all my fics this is the one I’m most perplexed by its kudo count. Are people that hungry for hurt/comfort pre-slash? Was it on a rec list of a popular blogger I’m unaware of? I don’t know, like it’s very nice it's good fic, but not one I think about often.

What Is This Feeling, So Sudden and New? DS9, Quodo, Odo adjusts to being solid, drinks all sorts of drinks, and has a sexual awakening. Now this is the fic I’m most proud of. That makes sense. Sexual tension! Plot! Emotional beats paced just right! (imo)

like to the lark at break of day arising OFMD, Stede/Ed’s first time, silly but emotional sex. This one I posted just at the right time in the fandom, and I had a lot of fun with it. Dumb banter, Stede gets carried away, Ed nuts and cries, I’m hitting all my favorite tropes lol.

Made Me Feel (Shiny and New) DS9, the sweetest hard Quodo, slow banging D/s double bluff. I never question a smut fic doing well. I assume you’re in it for the same reason I wrote it lmao.

Down On My Knees (I Wanna Take You There) DS9, Quodo, blowjob and tentacle sex. Ditto. :-P

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

I always try to!!! The exception being if I’m not paying attention to fandom at all at the time, I go through phases like anything.

As a reader, I love to comment for the author interaction -- especially because sometimes you mention something you liked and it unlocks a whole interesting train of thought from the author about the behind the scenes insights, like a bonus meta. I’m obsessed by this pairing, you are too, please tell me everything hell yeah.

Do you write crossovers? 

I’ve written one Glee/TNG and one Glee/Harry Potter. Not generally though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes. Oh idk whatever I think is hot that the character also might be into. It has to be goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and definitely too many feelings are involved... 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I think someone asked me for permission once or twice, but I don’t remember if I saw the final result.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No, gosh that’d really have to be the right person because it sounds maddening as a process. The potential to be more fun?? But potentially more frustrating.

What's your all time favorite ship? 

Oh you know. Somehow I started writing for rubber head aliens and never looked back.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will? 

I’m bad at starting things (there are tons of fic prompts I squirrel away for a rainy day), but compulsive about finishing them. If I have more than a couple hundred words written, by jove I’ll figure out a way to get to something I can call a final product that I share, even if it's several years later. 

Even when I’ve posted WIPs, almost the entire fic was written, I just needed to iron out details in the second part and only published the first part to stop myself from messing with it. Actually, exception that proves the rule (?) Coin-Operated Boy is my first true WIP, where I have a long list of ideas brainstormed, but I’m writing a bit by the seat of my pants rather than having all the plot points mapped out already. We’ll see how that goes, always fun to try something new!!

I’m also still committed to finishing the fic I started where Quark and Odo meet in prison and escape together based on this one comic about Rocket/Groot I read. I have like 7k written but there’s a looooot of rough sketchy bits and both details and broad strokes I have to figure out first.

What are your writing strengths? 

Managing tone? Something I enjoy doing anyway -- zipping along on a wild ride from goofy to angsty to heartfelt to absurd and back again. I’ve also been told I’m good at weird banter lol.

What are your writing weaknesses? 

Awkward run on sentences where I’m trying to pack too much in at once. PLOT ??? WHAT IS PLOT why can’t the characters just have a lot of feelings for no reason idk idk. being heavy handed with metaphors and ~themes~

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to? 

I want to write for Phlox sometime. I’m sure there’s a Quark rare pair I haven’t touched yet that’ll get obsessed with enough for a oneshot lol.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

“What Is This Feeling?” has my whole heart. 

"Dinner for One" also has a special place - getting out my Sisko family feels, plus I pulled off making Siskuark happen (briefly) lol.

--

@wowbright @chacusha @quodo-brainrot tagging you if you want to participate I'd love to read your respones!

[uselesslilium]

Eh, what the hell. Potential list of fics I'm thinking about writing once Mimesis is wrapped up, to organize my own thoughts:

ExValk Hunger Games AU, Part 3 Pros: Last part in the trilogy, finally wrapping it up would be very satisfying. Will not be longer than maybe three chapters. I still feel bad about how I left Mika in part 2, so getting him off that cliffhanger would be great. More ensemble cast scenes, and a chance to write Rinne+Shu interactions. I’ll finally get to write ExValk OT3!!!! Cons: Mimesis was largely a stressful downer all in Shu’s POV, and this would be Even More Of That. I think I could use a break from that vibe before going back to it. Still no Mademoiselle. Also would have to reread Mockingjay to make sure I got District 13 down, which means I can’t write right away.

Scum Villain AU Pros: I have been thinking about this fic on and off for like over a year now and I still want to write it, so I’m motivated. A balance of silly and serious. Would be fun to play around with fantasy genre conventions and the meta of ‘Eichi as the author’. A bit of a dynamic flip where Shu has secret knowledge about Mika rather than the other way around. Huge ensemble cast and lots of POV options! Can write Mado-nee as her own person! Have full narrative justification to write Mika’s kink awakening! Cons: Dear fucking god would it be long. I haven’t even begun outlining. Huge ensemble cast and lots of POV options. Fight scenes.

Arranged Marriage AU Pros: Fluff! I can write fluff again!!! Still with a nice undercurrent of angst and drama, of course, but it would definitely be lighter in tone overall. Could start off in Mika’s POV right away. Never written an arranged marriage AU before, and honestly I’m hankering for it. Potential for fun Seiya+Mika awful mentorship. Cons: Would have to think about politics. Have not really sorted out the plot at all. Possibly too much thematic overlap with Awakening Hermitage?

Momo leaves to work for Ryou AU Pros: Ohhhh I could make everyone soooo miserable. :) I want to dig into Ryou and Momo’s weird awful friendship so bad. Want to dig into Momo’s terrible self-sacrificial tendencies and his fawning reflex and how he’s the worst person to try and fix Ryou. Want to examine Yuki’s passivity and self-loathing and then make him actually Do Something. And I have actually managed to outline it, so there’s a solid base to start with. Cons: It would take at least 8 hefty chapters to finish, and that is a long time to stew in abusive relationship dynamics. No getting around what a huge bummer it would be to write. Also, haven’t written for i7 yet, worried about whether I know the characters and Japanese entertainment industry well enough to pull something this messy off.

Ciel AU Pros: It’s a Ciel AU!!! The characters would let me play with the setting in interesting ways. Gender. The mythology allows for really fun canon parallels. I have an outline planned, and have actually written the first chapter already! Cons: Maybe two people would get it lmao. Can I stop myself from letting it bloat? Didn't know The Truth about Grandpa Itsuki when I started and that'd need serious adjustment.

Shape of Water AU Pros: Mika finally gets to be a monsterfucker. Shu is the focus of the misery for a change. And also a beautiful octopus mermaid. Pure Mika POV would be interesting. If I try hard and believe in myself, this could possibly be a one-shot. Cons: Another very limited cast and setting. Would be hard to work in the parts of their relationship I find most compelling.

[zaramonzel]

Cats

Just one last delivery for tonight. The night air is crisp as I hurry down the quiet suburban street, pizza box in hand. Pulling up to the address, I notice what seems like a dozen—maybe even more—bright, piercing eyes of cats roaming around. Never seen this many all in one place before.

I ring the doorbell, hearing muffled footsteps before the door creaks open. A petite elderly woman stands before me, her thin frame swathed in an oversized cardigan. A faint smile crosses her wrinkled face as she peers up at me.

“You must be the pizza boy," she rasps. "Please, come in while I get your change.”

“I’ll just wait at the door, ma’am,” I say. It’s certainly unusual to be invited into a home for a pizza delivery. 

“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. Come in, it’s a cool night. I’ll only be a few minutes.” 

I hesitate for a moment but she ushers me in, clicking the door shut behind me. Immediately, I’m overwhelmed with the thick scent of cat litter and stale kibble. 

“Have a seat. I’ve prepared a glass of milk for you,” she said, now guiding me over to the couch. Cats of all shapes and sizes swarm around me, weaving between my legs and meowing softly. 

I have no choice but to plop myself down on the cat-hair-covered couch after she—Mrs. Barlow, as the address label indicates—shuffled off down a dimly lit hallway, leaving me alone with her feline companions. 

I glance around the living room. It's a cramped, cluttered space, every available surface covered in cat toys, scratching posts, and bowls of food and water. 

A sudden movement at the top of the stairs catches my eye. I turn to see a young girl peering down at me, her expression unreadable. She stands motionless, her gaze deadpan, before vanishing back up the staircase. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. Must be her granddaughter, but what a strange little girl.

Mrs. Barlow returns, a small metal box in her hands. "Here we are," she says, setting it on the coffee table. "Please, help yourself to the milk and I'll get your money."

"Actually, Mrs. Barlow,”  I say, addressing her to be polite, “I think I'll just take the cash and be on my way. The milk is very kind of you, but I really shouldn't."

She doesn’t say a word in reply, but her insistent gaze leaves me with little choice. 

I glance down at the milk, an uneasy feeling in my stomach growing. Somehow, it feels...off. But the woman's expectant stare compels me to reach for the glass, the cool liquid sliding down my throat. 

As I swallow the last of the milk, a strange heaviness settles over me. My eyelids grow unbearably heavy, and I blink rapidly, fighting against the rising tide of drowsiness. The room seems to sway, and I grip the arm of the couch to steady myself. The cats around me seem to sense my distress, their meows taking on a mocking, taunting quality. Something's not right. 

"What...what did you do to me?" I slur, panic rising in my chest.

Mrs. Barlow's smile widens. "Oh, don't worry, dear. You're going to be just fine." She reaches into her cardigan pocket, producing a large syringe filled with a cloudy liquid.

I try to stand, to run, but my limbs feel so heavy, it’s as if I’ve been tied to the couch. The young girl I saw earlier is now standing at the bottom of the stairs, silently watching the scene unfold.

"Please," I beg, my voice weak. “help me.”

But the girl merely blinks, her expression betraying no emotion. Mrs. Barlow advances, the syringe glinting menacingly.

The last thing I see before everything goes dark is the her twisted, triumphant grin and the syringe hovering dangerously close to my arm. 

"Don't worry, dear. This won't hurt a bit." 

When I finally regain consciousness, my eyes take a moment to adjust, and I realise that I’m still in the living room. Naked, disheveled people, their eyes vacant and their movements languid.

One of the captives, a young woman with matted hair, turned to face him. She blinked slowly, her mouth curving into a lazy smile, and then she leaned forward, her head tilting to one side and I spot the collar around her neck. A soft, purring sound rose from her throat, and she began to rub her cheek against his arm.

Mark recoiled in horror, feeling his supper rise up to his throat. They move with such feline grace, bodies contorting unnaturally, their limbs shifting and twisting in sickly way.

Suddenly, the door creaks open, and Mrs. Barlow enters, a twisted smile on her face. She carries a tray of bowls filled with what appears to be cat food and water. 

“You're awake. I was beginning to worry,” she says, her voice dripping with false sweetness. She sets the tray down, the captives immediately swarming around it, lapping up the contents like famished felines.

"What have you done to them?" I ask, my voice trembling.

Mrs. Barlow's smile widens. "Why, I haven’t done anything to them. They are my collection.” She produces a syringe from the pocket of her cardigan, the contents glinting ominously. "And you are the new addition.”

"Stay back!" I cry, pressing myself against the wall. 

But Mrs. Barlow advances, her grip on the syringe unwavering. I glance around the room, desperately searching for a way out, but the captives remain oblivious, purring and rubbing against one another. I spot the young girl standing silently in the corner again, her eyes fixed on me.

"Please," I plead, "you have to help me. You can't let her do this to me."

Mrs. Barlow draws closer, the syringe poised to strike. I try to scramble further away, but my body is still refusing to cooperate from the drugs. I'm trapped, at the mercy of this deranged woman and her unspeakable experiments.

As the syringe pierces my skin, I let out a cry of anguish. The cold liquid burns as it courses through my veins, and I can feel my consciousness slipping away once again. The world begins to blur, the faces of the captives growing indistinct. 

The cluttered space feels warm and inviting as I blink awake, the scents are no longer offensive but comforting.

I glance down at my own naked form, the collar around my neck a tangible reminder of my captivity. A part of me wants to resist, to fight against the overwhelming urge to surrender to this twisted new reality. But the alluring scent of the cats, the warmth of their bodies, proves too tempting. A strange, primal instinct is compelling me to join them.

I hesitantly reach out and set my paw on the soft fur of the nearby cat. It turns to me, eyes bright with awareness, and begins to rub against me, purring.

The world seems more vibrant, sounds and smells more vivid. 

A small part of me is crying out, worrying that this isn't right. But it's getting harder to hear that voice now. I'm getting pulled deeper into how things are in this reality.

[zer0expektation]

I rewatched Loki (and got progressively angrier), here are the highlights:

(featuring my queer analysis/rewrites hehe)

Episode 1

22:03 - “if looks could kill” Mobius ab and to Loki

22:05 - “What do you want from me?” “Well, let's start with a little cooperation.” “Not my forte” “really? Even when you’re wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? Come on.” Mobius and Loki - GAY

24:35 - “I am smart.” “I know.” “okay…” “.. okay” actual weirdos

Episode 2

5:13 - Loki ‘reading’ Mobius’s jet ski magazine hehehehe

14:03 - “Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ravonna to Mobius as he talks about why he should be allowed to keep Loki alive

16:30 - Loki adjusting Mobius’s tie as he talks about how ‘adorable’ it is that Mobius thinks he can manipulate him, because hes a freak

24:34 - “Loki, i've studied almost every moment of your entire life” Mobius literally what is with you

24:53 - Pompeii scene my beloved

Episode 3

7:16 - “don't ever call me that” “Tech savvy?” “no, a Loki.” Sylvie and Loki silly funny sibling behaviour

22:15 - “You’re a prince. Must’ve been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.” “A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” ah the beloathed line that haunts my nightmares

31:28 - “y’know, i feel like i've told you so much about me, i really don't know the first thing about you.” yeah ‘cause there is LITERALLY NOTHING TO LEARN ABOUT HER Sylvie is so badly written it actually kills me

Episode 4

7:26 - “like me being born the Goddess of Mischief” - Sylvie is arrested by the TVA for having been born a girl, and presumably that later meaning that if she wanted to she could become a Valkyrie if she wanted to - which i'm fairly certain it's mentioned that Loki wanted to be a Valkyrie when he was younger. This is actually so fucking stupid. The file on our Loki variant states that they were born with a “fluid” sex (whatever the fuck that means), and we are to assume that a lot of parts of variants are intrinsically the same between each other, so you’d assume that Sylvie would also be born with a “fluid” sex

10:07 - Loki and Sylvie are finally bonding by discussing what “makes a Loki a Loki” and Loki insisting that its their collective ability to survive - of course they have to be fucking weird about it which causes a Nexus event, because plot i guess

11:00 - i hate that we don't get to actually see Loki and Sylvie get picked up

12:39 - isn't it a little fun, a little silly, that the bad memory Loki is stuck in is Sif saying “I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be”

17:17 - it's interesting however that it doesn't really hit for Loki until after hes admitted that he does things for attention because he's scared of being alone - BUT i don't like that that is probably reason that the writers had for him falling for Sylvie, him thinking that because she is like him that she has similar fears and thus wouldn't do something to lose that companionship, rather instead it would have been interesting in its use to how Loki has inexplicably grown attached to Mobius of all people (especially because it is immediately followed by Mobius coming in)

15:27 - “aren’t you supposed to be interrogating your variant pet?” r15 to Mobius

19:11 - “I'm going to miss these little tete-a-tetes.” “Me too.” mocking from Mobius, a bit more genuine from Loki

20:59 - “you like her.” Mobius to Loki about Sylvie - im going to kill myself

22:14 - “your female self” good god im going to drown myself its so bad - neither Loki nor Sylvie should be considered a male or female version of the other, because they are both NEITHER male or female, they are both “fluid” in sex - the writers clearly did not know, nor give a fuck about the queerness of Loki and the character it actually makes me want to tear my own head off

34:26 - okok, i think it's fun and a little silly that Loki has a big reaction to Mobius being pruned, one that's harder for him to conceal than the one when he's told that Sylvie’s been pruned - but also, a bit nitpicky here i know, it's really dumb that he's just standing there, he doesn't even try to reach out to Mobius to move him out of the way or anything

41:18 - the “No, i have to tell you something” & “back on lamentis…. This is new for me.” & grabbing Sylvie’s shoulders - clearly supposed to set up the idea that Loki has some-fucking-how fallen for Sylvie (which is dumb as even worse written than most straight relationships) and wants to tell her now? For some reason? HOWEVER, it could have so easily been (and would have been better) instead, him trying to tell her that he trusts her and sees her as a partner in crime and a friend. Because that's the whole thing, right? Loki is scared of being alone, and yet doesn't do friends, and doesn't do partners, because he knows that he will always be alone anyways. The nexus event is him finding solace in the fact that he will die beside a friend rather than alone like he's always known he would. But nooo selfcest is definitely better than meaningful friendships, why dont you fucking kill me for thinking otherwise. Anyways he gets pruned here anyways so L Loki, fucking loser.

Episode 5

Unrelated but where the hell did the Lokis get their clothes - like, i get Sylvie because shes been fucking off all over the timeline for a long time, but everyone in the void? Why do they have their clothes

Again it seriously kills me that Sylvie has no character - no likes, no goals outside of destroying the TVA, no self-reflection, she's the woman character that is smarter and cooler than her male counterparts because they need to be looked after in order to not be killed

Another note on this, we can get a vague idea of what Loki will want when everything is over - he jokes about wanting to rule an entire universe/timeline, but in reality everyone knows he will just want to go somewhere where he's cared about and seen as equal, somewhere where he won't be alone - but we don't know what Sylvie will want, we cant even conceive an idea, because all we know is that she wants the TVA and whoever controls it gone, and we can assume that she wanted to be a valkyrie when she was little, but we know literally nothing else about her, so we have to assume either her and Loki are going to figure out their paths together, or that she will go off to figure it out on her own and we won't hear or see her again until she has a dumb cameo I think i would respect how little we know about Sylvie if it were a “i've spent so much of my life surviving and fixated on this one thing that i haven't had time to figure out who i am as a person and what i like and what i want after its all over”, but we never get anything like this, at least in any kind of depth that would make it good The Strong Woman trope is what I was looking for

16:04 - “Have any of you met a woman variant of us?” “Sounds terrifying.” i'm going to bash my head against the wall until my brains are crawling out the other side

Whoo president Loki, aka the only version of Loki selfcest i can stand behind, because at least commit to the bit if you're gonna do it

The one black Loki is the overly aggressive one that betrays everyone first, because what else should we expect from hollywood. Fucks sake

I do adore that the Lokis have so easily adopted Mobius within their little group and how good he is at understanding all of them

30:18 - “Mobius isn't so bad” “or so good. I think that's why we get along.” “he cares about you” Sylvie and Loki 

okay, I'm not saying that they should have made Mobius the love interest, however I absolutely am saying that. I personally think that would be far more compelling than the selfcest plot, it wouldn't be out of nowhere like i'm sure some may argue because so much of this show was spent on showing that Mobius is the only person that's been able to truly understand Loki and get a good read on them and Loki views him as a friend despite it all, on the other hand i think the selfcest plotline is absolutely out of nowhere, but its not viewed as such because its portrayed as straight and thus expected, they have little to no romantic chemistry, they have had very very very few scenes where they are interacting positively with each other that aren't surrounded with the fact that they are working together because they have the same goal and are trying to survive and most of those interactions are sandwiched between arguing.  I just think this scene could have easily been about Loki acknowledging that he cares about Mobius in a way that he doesn't think he has anyone else before, Sylvie could make a call back to her mailman, and then Loki can go quiet and amongst that have the blanket thing w/o the strange glances and awkward pauses and then they can discuss betrayal and what they want to do once everything is all over

31:48 - “i dont have friends. I don't have… anyone.” Sylvie - well now you do because thats all that this will be right? :D ← the face of denial

36:47 - “looks like you got away in the end” Mobius to Loki - you are a homosexual

37:09 - the lokius hug & Loki’s face before it

40:48 - “I don't know how” “you do, because we’re the same.” Loki and Sylvie - well you dont fucking say! Gee golly! Who woulda thunk it? Certainly not me, Mr. sylkie-is-selfcest-no-matter-how-you-twist-it. Good god I hate this stupid show.

Episode 6

I hate this show so so much, but i do really like when the silly mascot character that is kind of overlooked as comedic relief turns out to be a vessel for the villain, or at least are more sinister than they first seemed and they just become kind of uncanny and unsettling 

I also really like immortal characters that have been alive for so long that they are truly exhilarated by their end

33:45 - Loki having a “no stop, this isn't you ;(” moment is so funny

34:56 - the grossest moment of the show. Selfcest, ladies and gentlemen!

35:12 - i feel like it is very important to note that sylvie saying “but i'm not you” here, is NOT her denying that her and Loki are the same, just that the experience and feeling that Loki is expressing is not shared

39:49 - “Who are you? What's your name?” Mobius to Loki - sobs it's so upsetting i can't do this - imagine how much more tragic this scene would've been if Mobius was set up as the love interest shm my head stupid fucking show

End :))))

[incoherent-blabber]

The colours in the spiderman really make me happy, in the first scene with gwen they used cold colours on Gwen to present her struggle, the world was bright, warm colours that made it seem lively and comfy, but the cold colours on Gwen made her seem closed in. Cold colours make scenes claustrophobic, thats why you never see a emotional scene using reds oranges or yellows, its always blues greens and purples. It made her room more closed in, and the world more vast and expansive. Having the cold and warm colours mixing on the last scene with her and her dad presented their relationship in a new light, in the first scene he was strictly warm colours and she was strictly cold. This created the parallel between them and showed how they were two separate sides. The colours merging to swap between them makes it clear to us there's no sides, theyre on the same side but they don't realize it. This is a great use of dramatic irony.

In the final scene with her father, Gwen also changes art style. I think that this is a great portrayal of her being conflicted. Each universe is in a different art style, even if it's barely noticeable there is a difference. Gwens world is watercolours, but while talking to her father the style changes and adjusts to match the style of Miles world. This presents her inner conflict with everything that's going on, her conflict of her versus her dad, her versus miles, her versus everyone.

Or it doesn't lol i'm just a art student that's a bit silly

[tirorah]

PGSM (2003) Is a Story About Human Beings, and I LOVE It

Years ago, I attempted to watch the live-action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon show, or PGSM for short. And I quit because it looked so silly I couldn't maintain my sense of disbelief.

I've learnt not to judge a show by its looks since then. So, when I stumbled across a 20-second PGSM clip two weeks ago, I thought, "Shouldn't I give that another chance?" I'd heard a few interesting things about it, so I decided the answer was yes.

It took me a little while to adjust, sure. Some things still looked ridiculous to me. And yet, with every episode I became more and more emotionally invested. I started to see PGSM for what it truly was: an intricate tapestry of character-driven storytelling.

If you've read my other posts, you know I love characters more than anything. What I also love is an emphasis on narrative consequence and a willingness to explore new and/or interesting ideas, particularly when it's a new entry in an already-established franchise. And it just so happens that PGSM ticks all of these boxes!

In short, this show was made for me.

I'm not going to write about all of the clever things this show does because that would take far too many words. Here's my quick two cents: I think PGSM is excellent. It has flaws, and I think it only appeals to a certain type of viewer. But if you are that type of viewer, like I am, you're likely to be swept off your feet!

So yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but I love this show. It's by far the most fun I've ever had with Sailor Moon. And as is standard by now, I'm going to tell you why I feel that way under the cut.

First, I'll go over how PGSM manages to work at all. Then, I'll outline the theme; the central questions at the heart of the story. Finally, I'm going to illustrate just how well this show pulls off its primary goals---by examining the character arc of a certain old favourite of mine.

[FULL spoiler warning!]

[Word count: ~6,000]

New Kid on The Block

Ever since its inception, Sailor Moon has been an enduring presence in Japanese media and merchandising. Its presence has waxed and waned over the past decades, but it has nevertheless managed to remain incredibly successful. The original 90s manga spawned a concurrently running anime series, musicals, the Crystal anime series in the 2010s, and much more.

The fun effect of all these different versions is that each is its own thing. Even Crystal, which adheres much more closely to the manga than the 90s anime, is still different; a story can't be told the same way in every medium. This is why adaptations are difficult to do and are likely to piss off someone, regardless of intent or execution.

Smack-dab between the original and recent versions, a bold little beast emerged.

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon aired from October 2003 to September 2004. Unlike the versions before and since, it's a live-action tokusatsu superhero TV series, like Super Sentai--a show the manga also drew inspiration from. This again marks a significant change when it comes to storytelling possibilities.

PGSM faces several challenges on top of that. It only exists because the musicals were so successful, yet it has a shoestring-looking budget that makes some aspects of the show look underwhelming. The lead actors were young and inexperienced, so it can take a bit for everything to click performance-wise. Lastly, the characters tend to have their faces in full view during action scenes, rendering the use of stunt doubles difficult and therefore limiting choreographic possibilities.

And yet, under the stewardship of writer Kobayashi Yasuko and a ton of passionate and experienced staff, this show found a way to stand shoulder to shoulder with beloved works of the franchise.

Let's examine how.

Limitations, Genre and Theme

If I'd given you a rundown of the obstacles PGSM faced without my glowing praise attached, you'd probably think this show was sent out to die. Maybe it was, I don't know. Perhaps someone at Toei thought it would hoover up some merchandise sales before it fell off a cliff to its pyrotechnic death!

The amazing thing about PGSM is that it takes these challenges and turns them into its greatest strengths. This is a show that understands the constraints it has to operate within. It can't compete on action and special effects, so it hones in on something it can execute well and bring a unique twist to: characters and story.

Its best claim to fame, at least in the little discussion I saw of it, is how it reworks its characters to serve a brand-new spin on a familiar narrative. But I believe this description to be...insufficient. The changes made here go beyond adjusting and emphasising personality traits. This is a paradigm shift; a top-to-bottom overhaul and a tribute to Sailor Moon all at once.

While there's still an overarching story that involves protecting the world from evil and salvaging a doomed romance from a previous life, the real meat of PGSM lies in the rich inner lives of its cast. This shifts the genre to character-driven drama with a dash of soap opera.

As a result, those aforementioned inner lives are established, built upon, and allowed to emerge and clash naturally. All the while, the characters contend with a turbulent new reality which further affects their interpersonal relationships. That in turn shifts the theme to something much more personal: past life versus current life.

What does it mean for your identity to be reborn with memories from a past life? What do you do when that past life has a stranglehold on your current one? Are you doomed to repeat the mistakes of ages past?

And what effect do these challenges have on a person's psyche?

PGSM spends its 49-episode runtime exploring these questions to the fullest. I consider it a true ensemble work, as every major character is relevant to the story and drives it forward at some point. And because each of them is unique, we're shown a full spectrum of viewpoints that are informed by personality traits and emotional baggage.

So, yeah, it's really good. Really damn good.

In fact, to demonstrate just how in-depth and detailed the characterisation is, I'm going to spend the rest of this post analysing my favourite example of a PGSM character arc: the understated and expertly-paced struggles of one Kino Makoto.

Wood and Thunder

A core part of Makoto in every version is her dual nature--possessing both traditionally masculine and feminine characteristics--and how this clashes with societal expectations. With her curly hair and long skirt, she comes across like a typical sukeban (a delinquent girl) of the time. Her imposing height, incredible strength and fighting skills confirm that image.

In truth, the sukeban resemblance is exactly that and nothing more; her hair is naturally curly and her new school doesn't have a uniform in her size. She only uses her strength to protect others. Notably, she has a romantic heart and yearns for a place to belong, perhaps even a person she can belong with.

Absolutely none of that matters to society. Through no fault of her own, people only see one side to her and assume the other doesn't exist. Prejudice and ostracisation follow.

You might think this would cause Makoto to be ashamed of her more masculine traits, but that's not the case. She might feel embarrassed by them at times, or attempt to play up her feminine side to compensate, sure. But in the end, she embraces all of these characteristics and doesn't think it's wrong to be this way. People just refuse to see the feminine side that's openly on display.

So, here we have a character with a compelling set of characteristics that can be utilised in different ways. The approach taken is something that differs per version. But like all things Sailor Moon, Makoto is a product of her time; the sukeban aspect is particularly dated.

As an early 2000s show, PGSM had a chance at a fresh start with this concept. Suffice it to say I was very interested to see how it would update Makoto to a new millennium and modify her without erasing her core traits. What I got was far more than I bargained for.

Makoto's PGSM debut gives us an effective overview of her as a person that hits many familiar beats. She protects Usagi, returns Usagi's friendliness with her own, develops a crush on a guy, and kicks ass both in and out of Senshi guise. She had her heart broken by her senpai at her previous school, but she also felt like something was urging her to come here. Now she knows why: she had comrades to meet.

This looks like a mix of Makoto's introduction in the manga and 90s anime, adapted to modern times. But all that familiarity is distracting you from something. There's actually a big deviation here, and you can see that before she even does anything.

Take a good look at this picture. Obviously the sukeban influence was removed from her design, but that's not the most important detail here. Hopefully you'll notice what I didn't:

There are no rose earrings.

Everything spirals out from there. The Makoto from the 90s was open about her femininity, but the Makoto we meet in PGSM barely shows her feminine side at all. In fact, she takes great pains to hide it.

This affects her character on a fundamental level. When she first appears, she comes across as unusually withdrawn and stoic. As is typical of the character, she swiftly opens up to Usagi and that seems to be the end of aloof Makoto. But that feminine side doesn't surface. She still dresses in unisex clothes that lean more toward masculine than feminine.

Likewise, her flat may have a few plants and a neat kitchen, but they don't take centre stage. There's a skateboard and a hat collection (my beloved!) that are displayed at the entrance. A logical location, but that also means it's the first thing you see when you enter.

So, what gives? Here's the thing: the characters in PGSM are emotionally complex. Much work and care went into characterising all of them. Because of this, the characters feel like real people. They argue, make mistakes, agonise over things... Not to say this isn't the case in other versions, but PGSM takes it further and really emphasises how vulnerable--how tragically human--these characters can be.

That's what is being tied into here. Being mistaken for a tomboy, despite being openly feminine, is an external issue. But for PGSM's Makoto, the conflict is internal. She doesn't want to be seen as feminine. When exposed or questioned, she denies it despite being a terrible liar. If the questioning continues, she actually uses her tomboy image to refute it.

She does this because her feminine side makes her vulnerable. This Makoto has been burned so many times that she's developed abandonment issues. She's one bad experience away from yet another cocktail of intense sadness and deep-seated anger. Sometimes a mere reminder is enough to get her down, too.

No one wants to feel like that. She's learnt the hard way that opening herself up to others puts her at risk. That's why she prefers to play these darker feelings close to her chest.

To demonstrate all of this, her debut episode shows us exactly how bad it can get. It puts her through an especially cruel combination of deception, humiliation and rejection, no punches pulled.

It's at this moment that Makoto has had enough. Taking this risk was a mistake and it should never be repeated. She slams the gate to her wounded heart shut and locks it tight. The walls of her inner fortress become that much higher.

Learning to lower those walls and make another try for happiness is Makoto's character arc in PGSM.

This is why she was shifted so much toward the tomboy archetype. By giving Makoto an emotional incentive to deny a part of herself, PGSM gives her a believable, deeply personal obstacle that can take her the entire show to overcome. She now has to engage with her abandonment issues in order to become the more balanced person we know she can be.

Her powers as Sailor Jupiter also connect to this: there's the explosive power of lightning on one end and the soothing aura of nature on the other. Two distinct halves that each bring their own benefits. But Makoto's starting point is pure lightning.

Multiple times throughout the show, we're shown that nature is trying to communicate with her. But because she starts out as a lightning bolt, she doesn't understand it at all. This is another avenue for self-improvement, and PGSM understands that too; it explicitly ties the awakening of a Senshi's full powers to overcoming a core character flaw.

So, given all of that, how does PGSM build on the devastation she suffered during her debut episode and the emotional consequences left in its wake?

I'm happy to report it does nothing for 24 episodes. Yes, really.

For half of the runtime, Makoto acts as the support of the group; often present, but never centre stage. Sure, she develops a dynamic with each of her new friends, and she even begins to show some of her feminine aspects as that trust grows. The more she does this, the more her affinity with nature subtly increases; she begins to use non-lightning attacks and comes ever so slightly closer to understanding what the wind and trees attempt to tell her.

But when it comes to the story, Makoto doesn't drive most of the events that occur at this point. She becomes involved, or agrees to go along with something, but rare is the instance where something happens directly because of her actions. She contributes, but she's never in the driver's seat. She's the one who helps others become better versions of themselves.

She develops, but she doesn't grow.

This delay is 100% intentional. A Makoto who's only giving, only protecting, is completely fine. There are no lingering issues she needs to deal with because they've been swept under the rug, tucked away behind the walls of her fortress. For all she reveals of herself during this time, her abandonment issues might as well not exist.

This is PGSM's devotion to character-driven storytelling and narrative consequence on full display. As Makoto ignores her emotional baggage, PGSM is likewise content to misdirect you away from it.

Cycle of Fear

It's not until episode 31 that Motoki--the most endearing turtle nerd to have ever lived--unwittingly pokes at Makoto's defences. Up until that moment, she'd first considered him an acquaintance and later a supportive friend. In other words: a safe coexistence.

The moment she realises he has a crush on her, that safety disappears and all her thoroughly-buried insecurities rush to the forefront. Her old stoicism slams into place as the mask we now know it to be and she does her best to avoid eye contact. As brash as she usually is, she now struggles with all her might to seem detached and logical. She has to; the alternative is revealing how anxious this situation makes her. Although Usagi, Ami and Rei have earned her trust, showing that most vulnerable side of herself is still a bridge too far.

She drags herself to the date (probably because Usagi wouldn't let her worm her way out of it) and spends the entire time being awkward in spite of Motoki's oblivious excitement. It's clear that her heart isn't in it, but in typical Makoto fashion, she places the needs of the kind, sensitive Motoki above her own and does her best to let the date die a natural death.

Then, a sudden connection!

Makoto is stunned at first. No one has ever said that to her. As Motoki continues to extol her virtues--half of which are about how incredibly nice she is--she lights up! Aww!

...Only for her insecurities to take over again after an offhand mention of parents by Motoki, because PGSM is a story about fallible human beings. She immediately attempts to leave and is only stopped by a nosey Luna. It's impossible for Motoki not to notice something's off at this point. Keen for clarity, he decides to confess his feelings when they're not surrounded by other people. Makoto rejects him--by denying her femininity.

This is a direct result of Makoto's actions in the first half of the show. When she started to open up to her friends, she could've taken it further and started to navigate her issues. Her friends could've helped her. Instead, she chose to pretend that there was nothing to fix.

Now here she is. Avoidance--her first line of defence--has failed. Her second wall, rationalisation, has also been bypassed. Emotionally cornered, she falls back on the same defence mechanism she used at the start: denial wrapped up in irrational beliefs and low self-esteem.

"I'm really strong and get into fights. People are scared of me. That means I'm actually not feminine at all and what you saw was an anomaly. And because I'm not feminine, I'm not dating material."

By maintaining her tomboy image and denying her feminine attributes, this reasoning allows her to pre-emptively sabotage any blossoming relationship for herself. While this might bring relief in the short term, it's also the very thing that keeps her from happiness. Makoto is the Senshi of courage, but here she demonstrates how afraid she truly is.

Motoki seems to recognise this on some level. To him, Makoto is a strong, confident person. But she's also reserved in a way, and now that the emotional mess underneath is being dragged into the light, it's clear she's like that for a reason. He sees her for who she truly is and he likes what he sees, but she's not in a good enough place, mentally, to see that too. So he does the only thing he can do: he gives her space. He reassures her that she is feminine and then leaves her be.

"Why?"

This is the question that has plagued her for years. Uttered by a young Makoto and echoed by her present self, this representation of her thoughts comes up whenever loss or rejection hits. What matters here is the context: for once, it's Makoto who did the rejecting. She's in control.

So then, why does this still happen?

This is one of the uncommon moments where PGSM engages in subtlety. We don't get a definitive answer here. Makoto asks, "Why?" but we don't know what that refers to in this moment. We have to infer that ourselves.

My reading is as follows: "I rejected him before he could reject me. I removed him from my life before I could lose him. So why does it hurt? Why do I feel sad?"

During the subsequent fight against a powerful Youma, the other Senshi are held up and she ends up cornered and alone. It's an all too familiar scenario. She flashes back to all of the people she's lost.

Motoki shows up too, but he's almost impossible to make out.

At that very moment, the wind picks up around her. She lets out a breath in awe, gazing up at the swaying branches as the wind seems to communicate something. And then she awakens. Although she still summons a lightning attack, it's now taken on a green colour, signifying a new equilibrium.

When the others ask her what triggered it, Makoto naturally tells them the lesson of this episode: that she had to acknowledge her feminine side and truly open herself up to being loved--

--Wha...?

Yeah, you're seeing that right. Makoto just learnt the wrong lesson.

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted by this outcome. Deep down, as much as she wants to refute it, Makoto needs companionship, people to belong with. It's a core aspect of her character! It makes no sense for her to gain power from solitude.

However... If you think about it, why wouldn't this be her takeaway? She was alone and she made sure to sabotage her relationship with Motoki before it could go anywhere, so this is the only logical explanation, right? Her powers awakened, so the narrative is proving her correct as well.

Except no, the narrative is simply adhering to the consequences of her actions. By coming to the wrong conclusion, Makoto has once again delayed her growth.

For the next 13 (!) episodes, Makoto seems to be okay again. She easily slips back into her role of casual, friendly and supportive friend. But something's changed: Usagi, Ami and Rei have glimpsed Makoto's scars, and they're not content to let her ignore them.

They attempt to challenge her new outlook, but Makoto's resolve is ironclad. Even when she's forced to reveal her secret identity to Motoki, she still reiterates her rejection of him. What's worse, she now she has an extra defence: her duties as a Senshi. Although Motoki still carries a torch for her, he resigns himself to supporting her as best he can.

Still, despite her determination in this matter, Makoto herself has changed as well. There's conflict and pain present whenever she's forced to acknowledge her decisions. And ever since the start of episode 31, she can't help but look sombre whenever something reminds her of her parents. Somehow, despite her best efforts to repair the holes in her walls, some cracks have remained.

All of this comes to a head when Makoto's character arc collides with Minako's.

Diminishing The Self

Ever since the girls found out they were reborn after their past lives ended in disaster, they've been grappling with PGSM's theme more and more. With their past swiftly squeezing the life out of their present, each of them is forced to form an opinion: How much do their past lives affect their present lives? How much should it affect them in the first place? And what do you do?

Here's our spectrum: On one extreme we have Rei, who's become resentful of her past life and rejects it completely. She asserts that she is her own person and that her past life shouldn't dictate who she is and how she acts now. Makoto's stance is adding fuel to that fire. When Minako counters her coup with one of her own, Rei is kicked out and decides to fight on separately.

At the other extreme stands Minako. Diagnosed with a terminal illness that she has almost no hope of curing, she's completely rejected her present life and is devoted to completing the mission from her past life. She won't be around for much longer and she's determined to save the world as much as possible before she dies. She asserts authority over the Senshi for the sake of the mission.

Usagi and Ami fall between these two polar opposites. Usagi is the reincarnation of the Moon Princess and is literally anchored to the past life through her Silver Crystal. She can't deny that her current existence has been heavily shaped by the past. But she's also determined to prevent a repeat of the past, even if it's the hardest thing she's ever done. She works hard at controlling her emotions and is convinced she and Mamoru will succeed.

Ami's current circumstances don't seem to be shaped as much by her past life, so she's the most neutral out of all of them. But as someone who was turned to evil and emerged a changed person, it's hard to deny: Their lives have been affected by the past and it's necessary to acknowledge that. What to do with that information is something she doesn't have the answer to. She fights alongside Minako and Makoto, but stays in touch with Rei.

Makoto has been firmly in the 'this mission is paramount' camp from the start, but not to the extreme that Minako is. You see, Minako almost always chooses to refer to them by their Senshi monikers. Makoto doesn't; she and her three friends always refer to each other by their present life names, even during battle. This is a conscious change that establishes their current identities as distinct from their past selves.

But remember, Makoto came here because she was meant to. She was meant to meet her comrades. She was destined to be alone, so she could listen to nature and let it lead her to her true purpose in life.

So when Minako tells her she's so devoted to the mission that she will cast aside her life to complete it, Makoto can't help but be stirred. Finally, with Minako's help, she realises that the truth is even simpler than she thought: She's always been alone because her current life isn't what truly matters. She exists to carry out her duties, regardless of the personal cost.

This is the final piece of the puzzle for both her and us. Her shift to a tomboy archetype, her character arc and the theme of the show all combine here.

For years, Makoto has been haunted by something: "Why?" Why was she left to suffer all alone? Why was she abandoned over and over?

Then this Senshi business comes along, and with it comes a duty and moniker from a past life. For Usagi, this upheaval of her identity is upsetting. But for Makoto, it's a comfort. Being a Senshi gives her purpose, stability and even friends. For someone who's sorely lacked all of that for years, this development is nothing short of a godsend.

And so, from the very beginning, she took this newfound 'destiny' and ran with it. This was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she crafted her entire outlook around that. Heartbroken and expelled from school? That was just another way to get her to where she needed to be. Her powers awaken while she's dwelling on how she always ends up alone? Obviously that isolation was also intended.

From there, it's a hop, skip and a jump to what she's doing in this scene: discarding her current identity in favour of her past one. She perfectly expresses this by (in the next episode) copying Minako's statement: she might die, but "Jupiter won't disappear". Kino Makoto is a shell to house Sailor Jupiter, and shells are expendable.

This is Makoto at her most extreme. She's always downplayed her own importance and achievements, and now here she is, downplaying her very existence. No individual, only the greater good.

It doesn't even matter that Minako lied to them about her identity, illness and powers. Makoto understands by this point that a secret can be kept for good reasons; she's done it herself. If anything, Minako's deception and her ensuing burdens feed Makoto's view of her as a martyr and a leader.

By choosing to follow that example, Makoto joins Minako on the very extreme of the thematic (past life versus current life) spectrum. In turn, Minako gains the staunchest of allies--but she fails to realise how thoroughly Makoto has just been primed for the pinnacle of martyrdom.

A powerful Youma attacks. When Makoto, Ami and Luna wound it, Metalia possesses it, scaling its power beyond that of the Senshi to overcome. Minako can't transform. Ami and Luna have been knocked out of their Senshi forms and can't fight anymore.

Metalia is about to win. They're going to fail.

Makoto decides to fulfil her purpose. She grabs hold of the Youma and overloads herself with lightning, creating an explosion that annihilates them both.

Minako calls out to the person--not the Senshi--in front of her.

True Courage

Makoto wakes up in a hotel room, wounded but alive, watched over by Minako. The Youma threw her off at the last second, saving both of their lives. Makoto only laments her failure; she doesn't even seem to care that she almost died. In fact, she outright states that she was meant to be alone so that her possible death wouldn't make anyone sad.

Minako has been horrified by this entire ordeal and that feeling only grows with every sentence Makoto utters. When Makoto explains she was fulfilling her past life's mission, it hits Minako like a ton of bricks: this is her doing. By influencing Makoto in this direction, she almost had Makoto's blood on her hands.

She tries to sway Makoto from a repeat attempt, but is taken aback when Makoto unintentionally throws every single one of her own arguments back in her face. When she claims that her own situation is different, Makoto looks her squarely in the eyes and says, "A life's a life. They're all the same."

Minako doesn't deny it. She can't. How could anyone refuse such a simple, factual statement when it comes from someone as forthright as Makoto?

It proves impossible to change Makoto's mind, so she changes tactics. Rather than challenge Makoto's standpoint directly, she questions one of its cornerstones instead. She does so by revealing that Makoto had muttered Motoki's name in her sleep. Perhaps, she posits, Makoto is more tied to the present than she believes herself to be.

This succeeds in shaking Makoto's beliefs. Minako leaves her to her thoughts, victorious in a way, but her own conviction was caught in the crossfire. While Rei's insistence opened the way, she was also easy to dig in her heels against. Makoto, on the other hand, has fundamentally disproven Minako's views by agreeing with her. In that suicide attack, she saw first-hand the logical endpoint of her own ideology. She's more than a little disturbed.

It's the opening Artemis needs, even though he doesn't know it's there. When he subsequently shows her how much joy and comfort her songs bring to others, she finally realises what she's been missing in herself. Her current life does have value, her achievements do matter, and she shouldn't dismiss them so flippantly. She should love herself, love the person she is now.

In the following battle, she awakens her full powers and transforms. The Senshi are finally united for good.

Now that Minako has admitted to herself that she also resents the past life for what it's done to her, Makoto has become the new extreme on the thematic spectrum. However, Minako's revelation is forcing her to reconcile conflicting truths. She awakened because she was alone. But if Motoki's still on her mind like that, if he's still part of her life like that, then she's not alone. If she's not alone, then her reasoning is intrinsically flawed.

When she sees Motoki in a Youma-induced coma, the question of "Why?" returns for the final time. And then she sees him, clearly this time.

In that moment, she realises all of her beliefs were wrong. She didn't reject Motoki, she lost him through self-sabotage. Foiling a possible relationship didn't work; he'd cracked her armour before then. Their connection was gradually built up over the entire show and came cocooned in comfortable friendship, the only type of connection she did allow.

When that connection touched her heart and stirred something more, that was when she unlocked her full potential. He cares about her, the real her, not the skewed facade she puts on. She's not alone anymore. When she told herself that she was alone and always had been, and the wind rustled the leaves, that was nature calling her out on her self-deception.

But why did that self-deception even occur? She didn't need to draw this conclusion from the start, did she? Unfortunately, she did. That's the final, heartbreaking part: Being a Senshi was the ultimate coping mechanism.

There's a reason this shot is repeated multiple times:

Makoto was constantly looking back at the past, looking for answers. Because her abandonment issues went unresolved, that question of "Why?" was burning a hole in her. She was desperate for a reason, any reason, so she could understand. If her hardship and loneliness were predetermined and in service to this all-important duty, then being a Senshi justified her suffering. She craved that more than anything. No wonder she transformed without even questioning it.

And hey, if that duty meant she had to avoid the type of relationship that terrified her most of all, well... That was a happy coincidence, wasn't it?

Fortunately, for all the trouble her uncompromising, black-and-white outlook has brought her, that same determination also allows her to accept this new truth in an instant. She screwed up big-time, but as long as she lives and breathes, she can work to set things right.

She strokes Motoki's hand and runs off to join the fray--not to throw herself at the enemy through all her lifetimes, but to protect those who are dear to her now. After the fight, she looks at the turtle-shaped charm Motoki bought her and smiles, allowing herself to dream of the future for the first time.

Minako passes away the next episode, but she does so with no regrets. Although grief follows, that final unifying moment, jump-started by Makoto, was enough. Ami, Rei and Makoto head off to the finale together, as a true team, never losing sight of what's important to them.

PGSM is exceedingly compelling to me, and the structure of this character arc exemplifies why. Makoto learns the wrong lesson three times: when she first becomes Sailor Jupiter, when she awakens her full power, and when she embraces Minako's ideology to an unhealthy degree.

Not only does PGSM allow her to miss the mark so spectacularly, it also gives her the time to deny and then address her irrational beliefs in a plausible manner. Moreover, because she and Minako drive each other to unlearn their internalised misconceptions, Makoto gives both Minako and the story one of the last pushes they need.

The last we see of Makoto's new and improved self, in relation to romance, is her final encounter with Motoki in the show. She shows him she's attached his cute turtle charm to her wallet, out there for everyone to see. Motoki treats it with cautious optimism, then relief. It's a deliberate signal: Makoto is open to new possibilities now. Maybe they can try again. They laugh a little, sharing their first comfortable moment together in this context.

Sadly, likely due to a few cut episodes, this is the last we see of them. Makoto's character arc is definitely complete, but because the ending shows the Senshi alone before they meet up with Usagi again, her relationship status with Motoki is left ambiguous.

But not to worry! Due to the success of the show's DVD sales during its runtime, both a special prequel and sequel act were produced! The sequel act is a 1-hour movie that shows us where everyone ended up four years later.

In that time, Makoto has undergone a significant transformation. In the show, her dreams for the future were never even mentioned. But here, we find out she's studying floral design, something that she's obviously passionate about. Reaching for happiness indeed.

On the wardrobe side, she still owns unisex clothes (you see this when she charges off to the action portion of the movie), but otherwise her femininity is on full display. A blouse, an embroidered shirt, even a bright yellow skirt, it's all there. Not to mention the stunning dress she wears at Usagi's wedding. And to symbolise how full-circle we've come, she's even wearing earrings!

Her flat has likewise seen major changes. The skateboard and my beloved hats have been moved to make way for what appears to be storage (a fulfilling life can result in extra possessions!) and a picture of something nature-y on the wall. And the room is now filled with plants!

All of these differences stack up. The flat looks...filled, for lack of a better term. It started out rather sparse in her debut episode, but back then she'd just moved in and probably hadn't finished unpacking yet. However, even after she gained more possessions, there were parts that felt like they had just a little bit of empty space to them. Now the entire space is lavishly furnished!

Speaking of which, there's a large stuffed turtle on her sofa, indicating she and Motoki have pursued their relationship and now live together. This is later confirmed when she takes Motoki's car--which she had the keys for--to save Usagi and Mamoru.

At the very end of the epilogue, Motoki clumsily but earnestly asks Makoto for her hand in marriage. And Makoto, overwhelmed and overjoyed, accepts. She's the only version of the character to have achieved this.

It's immensely satisfying seeing a character brought so low, only for them to soar higher than ever before. This Makoto has undergone an immense personal journey. There's no telling what kinds of challenges she might need to overcome in the years to come, but she's already climbed this mountain. Perhaps there's nothing she can't do. And no matter what, she'll always have someone at her side. She'll never be alone again.

I love it. I love all of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say this is my favourite take on Makoto in the franchise. She's the best, and PGSM is the best for treating her with the nuance and maturity she deserves! Bravo!

---

That's the end of this post! It was meant to be way shorter, but I suppose that was an exercise in futility. If you made it all the way here, thank you very much!

I know I just said PGSM was the best. This is a subjective statement. PGSM is far and away my favourite incarnation of Sailor Moon, but I hold to what I said at the start: Every version is different, and I think that's great. We all enjoy media differently; the more people that can find a version of Sailor Moon befitting their preferences, the better.

It just so happens that PGSM was made for me! And hey, if you've never watched it before, or you dropped it like I first did, maybe it's worth another try. You never know, it might just be your thing too.

Like a certain person once sang:

~Just like predictable movies and books are boring When life is a little bit off, it might be more fun~