#and about to make the worst mistake of her life
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Maya Bishop | Station 19 - 3x15
He was... He was overbearing. He was controlling. He was...
If he was controlling, it was only because he loved you.
#station 19#maya bishop#danielle savre#3x15#she was in full denial#full self-destruct mode#and about to make the worst mistake of her life#buuuut she sure looked 🔥🔥🔥#my gifs
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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Super interested in how you plan to write Leopardfoot! I feel like both fanon and canon tend to make her into a sweet mom(tm) who’s super sad that Tigerstar is evil, very similar to how Goldenflower is usually treated. What’s her thoughts on Pinestar and him leaving? How did she influence Tigerstar? What are her political beliefs?
Society has progressed past the need for sad moms who stare tearily at their evil sons and boohoo about all the murder. It's MOTHER AGENCY TIME
BB!Leopardfoot was FEROCIOUS. Her father was the indominable Adderfang, and he taught her about the importance of honor and glory. When Tigerpaw was given to Thistleclaw as an apprentice, she was proud of it. It felt perfect to her-- that her father's apprentice was now her son's mentor.
For his brief rule, she supported Sunstar completely. It helped that he came after the disastrous and embarassing exit of Pinestar, which ruined the legacy that she wanted him to give her son. Pinestar was a damn coward and a codebreaker... and she assured Tigerkit that he was more HER son than his.
She even gives him a life, for Legacy, in defiance of StarClan
She was friends with Bluemoon for a time, but after ascending to StarClan, she learned about the Forget-me-nots.
This changed her opinion of her. Leopardfoot supports Thistle Law, STRONGLY so.
She supported THISTLECLAW when he tried to forcefully void the Queen’s Rights. If Bluemoon hadn't broken the code, then what did she have to hide?
She backed off when Thrushpelt leapt to her defense though, "She didn't reveal it because she doesn't love me are you happy now??"
Leopardfoot: *awkwardly turns away feeling like an asshole now, tea SPILLED, her friend's dirty laundry EXPOSED, thought she was crusading for the law but she just dug up drama*
Towards the end of Pinestar’s reign, he was getting exhausted. He wanted peace. Leopardfoot wanted kittens around that time, and figured that there was no better cat than the son of Oakstar, architect of the infamous Crusade Era.
If Pinestar had no children, a glorious bloodline would have died out. She wanted it for her kits. Pinestar agreed on the condition that he would be their Mi, which she happily accepted.
So when Pinestar left, she jumped into the nursery to take over and had to explain to her kits where their Mi went.
She drove it home to them that he abandoned everything, because his weakness took over. They would never be like him, she promised.
Mistkit died very young. Nightpaw made it to apprenticeship before she also succumbed. Tigerclaw remembers very well how hard it was to lose his sisters.
Leopardfoot herself was taken shortly before TPB, in Spottedleaf's Plague. Her death causes Tigerclaw to have a bit of a moment.
After the trial in Bluestar's Flowers, Leopardfoot leaves StarClan along with a bunch of other Thistle Law supporters, including Thistleclaw himself. She joins the BOTTE at the end of OotS, fighting to the end with her son.
She misses him a lot, and remains in the Dark Forest to the current arc. She chose her path; and has the dignity to walk it.
She does miss StarClan sometimes though, and will tell you stories about it if you ask.
In terms of demon friends, she's somewhere in the clique between the harsher and softer spirits.
She dislikes Morningstar, Cloudberry, and Ryewhisker on the softer end, and has come to resent Thistleclaw and Finchflight on the other, but likes Darkstripe, Leopardstar, and Silverhawk.
Gets along with a range of "mid" level demons.
In particular I imagine she hangs out with Darkstripe a lot. Taste test buddy, he asks her to try his experimental recipes because she's honest but not mean. One of the few Thistle Law supporting cats he hangs out with after the double-death of Tigerstar.
He calls her Lefty. Her official nickname is "Left" but he calls her Lefty.
(Clanmew: her name is Saorpwyyar. Others call her Saopr. He calls her Sapyy.)
Her mom and dad Swiftbreeze and Adderfang are here too, following Thistleclaw like she did, but she's been minimizing her contact with her dad. She feels like she is owed an apology somehow but also doesn't have the emotional intelligence to know that it's what she wants.
She just knows that she feels really bitter talking to him, and that's unpleasant.
She used to be VITRIOLIC with Pinestar, who is also here, even going after him physically when he chose to join in with the Dark Forest trainees. But now... honestly so much shit has happened, she just doesn't like seeing him. She wishes he wasn't here.
I write her being very dignified. She doesn't like to admit publically she was ever wrong and speaks with confidence, quietly backing off and not wanting to speak about her mistakes. She loves her children and her family, but explores the world in a very "self-centric" way, trusting her feelings and personal judgement over anything logical.
A reactionary sort of person, if that makes sense.
Her Land Mar has to develop over time because she is an ex-StarClan migrant (damned souls get theirs instantly after judgement), but it's called the Fence Cliff. It's a picket fence that blocks off a sheer drop, making a sharp turn down the cliff face and acting as a walkway. Follow the fence down the slope, and you can access the Dark Forest's town biome.
#BB!Leopardfoot#Better bones au#Pinestar’s Crusade#Spottedleaf's Plague#I think I made her a land mar once before but I like this idea more#I may repurpose the old idea when I remember it for someone else#Because I like the idea of Leopard and Dark walking down her land mar to get to the town to collect odd ingredients#And have Leopard talk about how ironic it is that her life's worst moment still goes back to the choices of other people#And Dark kinda puffs and says 'im sick of people blaming everyone else for their own mistakes'#And Lef doesn't really have a response to that#And Dark backpedals not wanting to offend her#And the Cliff Fence would be a super neat setting to write such a convo in#BB!Dark Forest#Dark forest demons my beloved btw.#I was actually at one point planning a cutesy like... not-rework BB-original novella story#Of Ryewhisker gathering ingredients for an anniversary dinner#And meeting with various DF demons#But now that Darkstripe is getting a whole ass postmortem arc about healing through cooking#I might make it about him#Especially so I can put that convo in it
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Reading Batgirl 2000 is making me want to write a Dark Batman fic.
#as a Stephanie Brown fan I thought I understood the worst parts of Bruce Wayne#but jesus christ the way he treats Cass in this comic is infuriating#no fucking wonder she decides perfect for a year is better than a life of mediocrity#the girl with no family who can barely communicate and you've shown zero interest in interacting with outside of Batman#doesn't give a shit about her secret identity?#NO SHIT#WHY SHOULD SHE???#And your response to her making a 'mistake'#(one that literally any other bat would have intentionally chosen to make by the way)#is to take her away from the one person who's making any sort of attempt to give her a sense of identity#i will strangle this man#like i barely even have to do anything he's already doing the dark shit for me in canon#i read comics#batgirl 2000#anti bruce wayne#cassandra cain#batgirl#batgirl ii#also glad to say that batgirl 2000 is actually as good as everyone says it is :)#the art isn't my favorite and I'm going to throttle bruce but I love the way Cass is characterized it's so fucking good
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if she told you she'd have to kill you unnamed whispering rock camper
#psychonauts#monsters inc#ocs#my art#rozlyn zanotto my fankid#i like her#make no mistake about me. i think roz monsters inc is great.#but if rozlyn a ten/eleven year old got compared to her it would be the worst thing to ever happen in her life#UPDATE: i forgot what age i had her as so i put ten/eleven but i was wrong she is twelve.
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my brain for the past like 2 weeks
#.txt#trigun#specifically#trimax#i am rotating her in my head always she is so fascinating to me i have so many thoughts i could write a novel#shes captivating to me. as a person#tbh her and tesla and the dependant plants as like. catalysts for so many emotions in the story but we dont get real insight into#their internal lives#and rem captivates me specifically bc shes so complicated wrt her actions with tesla but also the way she talks about leaving earth#and the idea of giving up on her home planet and putting her whole fresh start into seeds and then immediately making#the worst mistake of her life (tesla) and then starting over blank Again with vash and knives and how that all turned out#like!!!! the emotions going on there for her must be insane. i think about it Literally Constantly#and how it all ties into the mangas theme of the potential to be better vs the people you hurt before getting there#im literally obsessed with her#also she dresses like a lesbian electrician and i really like that vibe for her. im not immune#rem saverem#holding her in my hands i just think shes neat#also i have a whole incoherent google doc filled with random scenes from idk iguess the rem pov novel that lives in my brain??#maybe ill clean them up and post them one day that is a threat#also i love fat baby knives in the itty bitty manga screencap i chose. i just know hes the densest baby alive#normal looking baby who you pick up and handles like a bag of wet cement
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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swiftie mutuals please know that i still love you i just cant help but be a hater
#my opinions on ts are complex#like i think she's an insanely good and hardworking performer#you cant ignore the amount of work it takes to perform something like her eras shows#AND i think that when she puts her mind to it she can really knock it out of the park with a great song#every album has at least one A+ song#like genuinely i think anti-hero was her best ever lyrically#and she's at her best when she leans into the sappy over the top vibe like w love story or ybwm#my main problem with her is ofc her excessive private jet use#i understand that shes too famous to fly commercial bc she'd get mobbed#but when travelling within a single country she could at least be using road travel#anyway#wrt her music my main issue is that a good 80% of it is very... bland#she doesn't really do anything new or push any boundaries artistically#just plays it safe#and her lyrics can be genuinely awful when she takes herself too seriously (1830s but without all the racists)#and that sucks bc when she DOES decide to explore a new concept or play a character#she generally makes something interesting and fun!#blank space was fun bc it was a play into the media's constructed narrative about her#reputation was. a choice. but i'll defend it for being something different and actually taking a risk#this is a long ass tags ramble but i guess my point is#shes a pop singer. shes a pop singer who makes catchy pop music and thats okay#but she has a habit of taking herself too seriously and trying to be a deep meaningful 'poet' type songwriter like phoebe bridgers etc#which is just. not at all what she's good at#her music needs an ounce of self awareness to be good but her new album completely lacks that#sigh#dont ever get a diploma in music theory worst mistake of my life
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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her
#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me#and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front#always always bowl me over#like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time#like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that#when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair#but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard#so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's#even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with#bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc#i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum#BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart#like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me#it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE#and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry#and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls#that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good#and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her#that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension#and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone#but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her#i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me#but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her#girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH#hella goes home
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idk like as an autistic person seeing bianca get dogpiled does not make me feel comforted or safe. it makes me feel like being a human with flaws makes me deserving of intense public shaming, that if i make a mistake i am irredeemable. i don't think that's a good outcome from all of this
#i wish we could have nuanced discourse instead of black n white thinking here#was i perfect at 18?? NO. am i perfect now? NO. will i continue to make mistakes and need to apologize and change my behavior for the rest#of my life??? YES#i think that apology was more than we've gotten from any driver who's fucked up i've seen and i appreciate it from her#i saw a post that was like 'you don't need pr training you just need to not be a bad person' and i just. it made me so sad#the idea that someone is not perfectly educated and makes mistakes and doesn't apologize perfectly = bad person is so. cruel. imo#cuz then i guess i'm a bad fucking person then???? OK#i could never live my life assuming the worst of people like that#she speaks#f1dump#discourse cw#think what you want to think abt her but holy shit. i do NOT agree with the bandwagon here and i cant just be quiet about it
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Your Minkowski Hallmark Christmas movies post made me consider: we know Eiffel hates Christmas, and Minkowski loves it - what is Hera's stance? My guess would be slightly bemused by it, probably disliking some elements while enjoying others, but I'm curious as to your take
that's pretty much what i think! there's a part in one of the AMAs where they're talking about the characters' ideal valentine's days, and gabriel says that hera cared more about it being eiffel's birthday than it being christmas, and that's kind of my. general philosophy about hera and holidays. she has no personal or cultural connection, so i think... if she cares about any holiday, it's going to be because the people in her life care about it and invite her to share it with them.
i think she might find it interesting for just how pervasive it is in american culture, especially the position it holds as like... a clearly religious holiday that insists it's not. i think she could probably appreciate the decorations, exchanging of gifts, etc. to some degree, but would find the media too saccharine in the wrong ways.
(@collectoroflovelythings said exposing hera to hallmark movies would give her some mixed messages about the "meaning of christmas", like, it was a religious holiday and now it's just about businesswomen learning to love...? and i thought that was funny.)
but also, the other angle of 'hera cares more about eiffel's birthday than about christmas' + 'hera would care about holidays because the people in her life care about them' is that i think she'd be willing to play into eiffel's hatred of christmas, even if she has no particularly strong feelings of her own, just because it makes him feel better to have someone on his side.
#wolf 359#w359#asks#i'm biased because i'm a christmas hater and i want her on my side. but so does eiffel. so you know i think it's plausible#i think hera would watch hallmark movies with minkowski but ONLY once#because she wouldn't know what she was signing up for#and eiffel would be SO dramatic about it and tell her she was making the worst mistake of her life and she'd be like.#okay it's not a big deal they're just movies and you don't even have to watch them.#because he was also like that about plenty of musicals minkowski likes and hera is perfectly able to enjoy those#but then it dawns on her that they're all the same movie. and she doesn't like that movie at all.#but she doesn't want to hurt minkowski's feelings because she is getting SO into them. entirely sincere about it.#and eiffel won't make an excuse for her to leave because she wouldn't heed his warning. but he does listen to her complain later#and he is very smug about it.
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Oh great. We're at the embarrassing have dreams about your ex stage.
#sad girl tag#no cant possibly be bad enough that things are the way they are#now i have to have nightmares about us breaking up where i keep desperately trying to fix it only to ruin it more#sure why not relive my lovely reactive behaviour and pick it apart in excruciating detail#i could have had everything i wanted but i fucked it all up and now im having dreams about it#i had dreams for months that i was still dating my ex boyfriend and those were all lovely#but my relationship of five years? i cant even have one dream about when things were good?#i cant even have that?#no i have to relive the worst night of my life. thats the only way im allowed to remember us?#it wasnt enough to lose her so now i need to have nightmares about it too?#only for her to have sent me a message a few days ago about a technique to try and help me stop having nightmares#after she was the one who woke me up when i was screaming in my sleep#she cant just do that. she cant do something so achingly kind#only for me to then be left with this dumb fucking heart and a head full of mistakes#i suppose its only fair. this all started because of a dream. it makes sense that it should end that way too.#it would just be nice to be able to get away from it all in my sleep#and yet i find myself in our bed watching it all fall apart only to wake with no one there#god but this is fucking embarrassing
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One of my favourite little details from Bojack is that in 'free churro', when bj is remembering his mother's dancing, it's the same music as the record is playing at the end of 'a horse walks into rehab.
The same thing can be said about Sarah Lynn. In the reprise of 'Don't stop dancing', when it changes into pop, it's the same beat used in her song 'Prickley Muffin'
#i just think its neat#i know the sl one has been pointed out before but i haven't see any talk about beatrice's performance#idk maybe it has been said before#also it being implied that Beatrice is wearing the dress from her debutant in that flashing from free churro#is really interesting as thats what she can be seen wearing in tvfhd#and i always interpreted the outfits they wore in tvfhd is to be considered when bj considered was tge best point in their life w hi#such as cj wearing his military uniform as it would have been the only attire he saw his uncle in#“the uncle i never met and yet could never live up to” no doubt Beatrice would constantly say this to her son (him serving in the military)#ngl this does make sl ageing throughout the episode sadder (what isn't devastating about Sarah Lynn unfortunately?)#as she never really had achieved a “best part” just “worst parts”#idk man#this is messy but I'm not deleting all these tags just to fix a spelling mistake so for reference its meant to say him not hi#its queue its not the drugs or the alcohol or any of the shitty things that happened in your career or when you were a kid its queue
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❝ 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ! ❞
❝ THEY TOOK YOU. SO SATORU GOJO DID THE ONLY REASONABLE THING — HE TOOK THEIR LIVES ! ❞
✧ pairing: gojo satoru x sorcerer!reader
✧ summary: satoru gojo rarely loses his cool. except when it comes to you. so when you get taken and found hurt, he takes matters into his own hands to find out who did it and make them pay.
✧ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, canon compliant, feral gojo, acts of violence, reader gets kidnapped and attacked, gojo goes insane, gojo clan sucks, higher ups get asses best, yaga and Ijichi featured, dom!gojo, breeding kink, dirty talk, oral (f), fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), creampie, implied multiple rounds, swearing,
✧ w/c: 8,446
The worst mistake Satoru Gojo ever made that morning was to get out of bed.
If he had just stayed in bed that morning, turned his cellphone on silent, and basked in the warmth of the soft comforter you had picked out (even as you balked at the exorbitant price) and especially in the warmth of your embrace — the one place where it felt as if it was okay to be himself, just him.
And now it was just him.
Because you were gone.
When his phone rang that morning, your lips had been against his, indulging in a lazy morning tryst because for once, Satoru had been off duty — or he was supposed to be off duty. Your gaze had been the ones to stir him from sleep, as even in the embrace of sleep he couldn’t resist you or your adoring eyes — the very same he held more precious than his own.
“I didn’t even say anything, how did you wake up?” And his lips curl at your slight frown, his fingers brushing over the curve of your cheek.
“Thought my pretty wife was admiring my beauty while I slept so I had to wake up to the same,” and he’s leaning over to press lazy kisses along your jaw.
“Did you just call yourself beautiful?” You snort, and he grins, before falling into a playful pout.
“My own wife doesn’t think her husband’s beautiful?” And you’re rolling your eyes, before rolling over on top of him, your body only covered by the black t-shirt you had stolen from him last night, a small groan as he felt your very bare thighs brush against his boxers.
You were a goddess — your smile ethereal in the sunlight streaming in from the window as you leaned over him, and he was willing to worship all his life at your altar, if you would only give him a brush of your lips.
“Of course I think you’re beautiful, I’m the one always saying that anyway,” your lips brush his chastely, far too quick and teasing, “I was just imagining what Nanami would say if he heard that,”
“Oh? And what’s that, sweetheart?”
“He would say the size of your ego is becoming a threat to Earth’s atmosphere,” and Satoru raises an eyebrow.
“And my darling wife would disagree, right?” and you look away, biting back a smile, “eh? You’d let him say such heinous things about me?”
“It’s not heinous if it’s true—“ you gasp, and he’s flipped you on your back, pressing his lips to yours to swallow your words, along with your giggles, as you break free, “Toru! Ah—“ and he nibbles at your neck, “hey!”
“You have to pay for the consequences of your actions, baby, what kind of sensei would I be?” And you’re rolling your eyes.
“I’m not your student, ngh,” you’re gasping as his teeth sinks into your neck, “if anything, I’m the one reigning you in,”
“Well then,” he chuckled in his words, as his fingers trace your jaw, “I’ll have to show you how far your student has come then,” and his lips only brush yours, when his phone rings.
“Baby,” you sigh, and he’s glancing at the phone, a sigh on his lips, as he reaches for the phone, sneaking a glance at you, before he picks up.
You press sweet kisses to his chest as you hear the faint murmur of Yaga’s voice through the phone, hearing reports of the special grades they’ve been tracking, “Old man, this is the first day off I’ve taken off in so looooong,” and he holds the phone away from his ear until Yaga’s screams fade, “fine, fine, send Ijichi,” he hangs up while Yaga was still mid-yell, tossing his phone on the bedside table with a sigh, “sweetheart,”
“I know,” you cup his cheek, his lips in a pout not made for the strongest sorcerer, but for your Satoru, “I’ll be here when you come back — waiting very impatiently,” and he chuckles, his lips finding yours.
“How’d I get so lucky to have such an understanding wife?” And your lips curl.
“You annoyed her into falling in love,” and he gapes at you as you giggle, until he’s got you pinned underneath him yet again, “what? It’s true!”
“Then I’ll have to annoy you some more, just to make sure,” and he’s finding you in another kiss, until his devilish fingers run down your sides, beginning their assault on the spots that made you laugh the most.
You pulled your lips from his, squealing, “Nooooo! Satoru, stop!” you tried to push him off from tickling you, but he was the strongest for a reason—a reason you usually were very grateful for, but not right now. And finally he relented, as you gasped and chuckled still, lips in the most adorable pout, “you’ll pay for that,”
“Oh really? How’s that, wifey?” and you kiss his lips chastely, barely a brush, as you cross your arms, fighting back a smile.
“That’s the only goodbye kiss you get,” and he gasps, clutching his chest dramatically, before that smirk of his returns, “and you try to steal one and I’m making you sleep on the couch,” And he pouts, before you press a longer kiss to his lips, “you’re lucky I love you,”
Satoru grinned, “I know.”’
Yeah, he should have never gotten out of bed.
“Where is she?” For once, Satoru’s words were devoid of humor, the laughter and happiness sapped from his very essence the moment he had heard. The moment he had felt your cursed energy waver. All this time, Satoru’s eyes had been focused on the outline of your soul, no matter where he was, because you were always the one thing he wanted to come home to — that he needed to.
“I don’t know Satoru, that’s why I had called you,” Yaga runs his fingers through his hair, “goddamnit,” he swore, scrubbing a hand down his face, “the mission came from the higher ups, they wouldn’t give me the specifics, but they said it was confidential—“
“I don’t care for the details right now, do we know anything about where she is?” Satoru keeps his words carefully measured, muscles wound taut, the only thing keeping him from using blue to destroy Jujutsu Tech in one fell swoop was the thought of you, “did she tell you anything else—“
And Ijichi bursts in, brow furrowed, “Gojo, we have a lead.”
~~~
Was this how it would end?
You knew it was in your fate to die, eventually. A wretched cycle that all of you were forced to live. An endless baton pass that always ended with the last runner dying — nothing but a pile of corpses left behind and to look back on.
And it would almost be a relief, a blessing to finally be done — if it wasn’t for Satoru.
You knew he would blame himself for this. He always blamed himself. Blamed himself when he couldn’t beat Toji. Blamed himself when he couldn’t save Riko. Blamed himself when he couldn’t save Geto. Because he was the strongest, and that meant he should be able to solve everyone’s problems — do everything no one else can do, be everywhere at once, and never fail.
Never. And yet, that’s not what the sleepless nights he spent working told you. It only told you that jujutsu would take everything from him, if he let it, and he would let it, if only that meant he could do more good.
And he was so good. Even if he didn’t see it — you could almost feel the lingering warmth of his embrace this morning, the wide grin on his lips as he peppered kisses down your neck, and the soft gaze of blues made of affection just for you — you would always see it for him.
You don’t see the curse coming, your vision blurred from the last strike. The crack of your bones barely registers in your ears, the curse presses you into the wall, claws pressed to your throat, drawing blood to run down your neck.
“Now, now, we can’t kill her, at least not yet,” a voice calls out, “we were given strict orders to wait,”
The curse’s growl reverberated across your skin, a desperate growl deep in its chest, the string of control being pulled taut, as its black nails dig deeper into your side, until it dropped you onto the ground like a rag doll.
Your body ached only for moments before it was chased away by numbness. And you could only wonder if this was how they felt? Riko, Haibara, Geto, all the others you watched die — was this the pain they felt? The ache of muscles that they could no longer feel, the sticky wetness of blood that seeped from their unknowing bodies, and the cold thst crept up from the tips of your toes.
You wanted it to stop. You wanted to stop. But each time you felt the tug of the other side, you couldn’t let go. You couldn’t. Not when Satoru needed you.
Your eyes burn with tears. And you needed him.
~~~
“Where is she?” The same question was ringing in Satoru’s head over and over since he had heard.
Candle wicks trembled with fear, casting shadows on the wall that shivered in the presence of the man before them. The papered panels was all that stood between him and these old men — the very same that played with the lives of many day in and day out. It would be far too easy to kill them all — in fact, it would barely take any effort at all with his cursed technique.
But he wouldn’t allow them the warm embrace of an instant death.
“Such insolence — how dare you enter this place and speak—“
“You ought to be thanking me,” his power sparked in the glint of his eyes, the glow of the lit wicks catching in the hard blues, “for not bashing your skulls in and ripping your hearts from your chests from the moment I entered,”
A silence swept over the room, another voice speaking, “Gojo—“
“The next words out of your mouth better be an answer because I don’t want to ask again,” his voice fills the silence in the room, only broken by the sounds of the candles crackle, “where is she?”
“We cannot disclose where—“ there’s a loud crack, the splintering of wood and the wet squelch of flesh and blood, and a cold breeze swept through the room, the candles going out.
Satoru’s fingers dug into the soft flesh of his neck, forcing the broken floorboards digging into his wrinkled skin, “I said I want an answer, do you think I would think twice about killing any of you?”
There’s a pause and the silence is only filled by the sound of gore dripping down the paper screens and hitting the floor.
“The only reason I haven’t yet was there was no point to it — no meaning,” and he could see you this morning, his lips curled for you, a strangled choking noise leaving his throat as the pads of his fingers squeezed around his neck, “but now I have every reason to, so tell me before I lose my patience,”
A silence fills the room again, until one of them speaks, “Let him go, and we’ll tell you.”
~~~
“Who do you work for?” the words come out strangled, your fingers bunching up your soaked fabric and pressing it to the gash on your stomach, “why did you bring me here?” You force yourself not to give them the satisfaction of a flinch.
“Do you really think it would be that simple to get me to reveal the reason, jujutsu sorcerer?” you hear a distant laugh, “we have our reasons, isn’t that simple enough? Or rather—”
His footsteps clapped against the floor, your head wrenched upwards, as a small yelp escapes your lips, “does it matter when you’re going to die either way?”
And you grit your teeth, before spitting on his face, half blood, half saliva, “At least I don’t have to live a life as pathetic as yours,” his fingers squeeze at your chin, your jaw aching under his grasp.
“Pathetic?” He wipes his face with the sleeve of his shirt before, throwing you to the floor, body screaming in pain, but you refuse to show weakness, even as tears burn at your tear ducts, “And yet, I’m not the one bloodied and battered and two inches from death, bitch,” he scoffs, muttering, “I can see why they ordered us to kill you now, who would want someone like you around?”
“Now I’m listening, who gave you those orders?” Another voice says from behind him. The man freezes, while you lift your head, a small smile on your lips, “are you hard of hearing or just plain stupid? Well, I don’t really need to even ask that, do I?”
He was shrouded in shadow, but you didn’t need to see him to know it was him — especially as he tugged his blindfold down with two fingers, blue eyes devoid of any humor or joy, and instead only with hatred.
“Satoru Gojo,” the voice left the man’s lips slowly, but before he could react, the special grade curse that had held you was barreling towards him in a moment, before Satoru held it at bay with his infinity, the other curses following suit — how many did this curse user have in the room with him? Three? No more like five or six, but even so — you scoffed under your breath, it wouldn’t matter, “No, you idiots! Don’t—”
And in a moment, they are eviscerated — held back by his infinity, deep seeded growls and roars leaving their lips, “c’mon now, is this the best you can do? I was expecting more from those bold enough to take my wife, but I guess I expected too much,” he sighs, before he lifts one hand, “Cursed Technique Amplification, Blue,”
You barely can make out the screams from one another, the splatter of their essence raining down from above, until you hear footsteps rushing towards you, and you’re hauled to your feet, pressed against the cursed user, his hand around your neck.
“One more move, and I break her neck,” Satoru landed below with ease, his gaze raised until he met yours, and you saw it soften for you — a silent question of ‘are you okay?’ and your nod and a forced smile that told him you were okay enough.
“You can try,” his words were slow and measured, just as his steps towards you were, “but I don’t think you understand who you are dealing with,”
He tensed, fingers digging into your neck, “I know perfectly well who you are, Satoru Gojo, and I am not afraid to die by your hand for this,”
Satoru’s lips curled, “I wasn’t talking about me,”
The kidnapper’s eyes narrowed, “What?”
And you jabbed at his knee, the bone splintering under your force, but you barely hear the snap or his scream because of the blood roaring in your ears. You don’t spare a second before slamming your other hand into his head, nose breaking from your fist, blood splattering across your arm. You ready yourself for another move, before you felt him ripped away from you, a strong arm around you to steady you.
“It’s okay, I got you, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Satoru murmured, soft words meant to soothe you, as his body envelops your tense muscles, until you finally relax into his arms. Your eyes burned with tears, as you looked up at him, before your eyes slid to the kidnapper, Satoru’s hand around his throat.
“I knew you’d come for me, Toru,” you whispered, grasping onto the front of his jacket, “I knew you would,”
“I always will,” and his eyes turned to the man, voice even, “should I kill him once I’m done questioning him?”
You know he means it.
“I don’t know,” you reply, fingers curling as you pressed your face against his chest, “but I don’t want you to have blood on your hands, not for me,”
“It wouldn’t be for you. It would be for me,” he says softly, “but we can discuss it later,” and then others began to flood the scene, the sights and sounds feeling distant as your eyes drooped with exhaustion.
“Satoru, I’m—“ your voice broke, “I really tried—“
“Shh, you did great,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your head, as you finally succumbed to exhaustion, slumping over in his arms, “I’ll handle the rest.”
~~~
“You all must be wondering why I called this meeting,” Satoru said, standing at the head of the Gojo clan’s meeting room. It had been long since he had stood as the head, but far too short for his liking. He had discarded this part of his life as soon as he could, joining Jujutsu Tech without a second of hesitation, and continued to run the operations of his clan as an adult, behind the scenes.
But it seems he was too lax.
It had been a few weeks since the incident. You were asleep for a good day in and out while Shoko worked on you. She came out of your room, pulling off the surgical cap off her head, and Satoru got to his feet, as Shoko removed her gloves and mask, “She’s fine, Satoru,” and he sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face.
“How bad was it?” he asks, and she tilts her head, hands slipping into her pockets.
“Are you asking that to know how badly she was injured or so you can do worse to whoever did this?” Satoru shrugs, lips parting and she holds up a hand, “never mind, the less I know, the better,” she grabs your file and opens it, “most of her injuries related to cursed technique burn out — it seems whoever took her used curse spirits to attack her, she mentioned when she was conscious briefly that they didn’t control the curses, but they seemed to be able to work with them somehow,”
“More intelligent curses have been appearing since Yuji became Sukuna’s vessel,” Satoru murmured, but this wasn’t related to the asparagus special grade or volcano head. It was separate — it was personal.
“But all of this to take a first grade sorcerer, why?” and he shakes his head.
“It wasn’t for her — it was for me,” and that’s why they hadn’t killed you, “is she awake?”
Shoko sighed, “She should be waking up in a bit. She didn’t need much aside from some RCT treatment and stitches for the wounds she sustained,” she places a hand on his shoulder, “go see her, and try not to murder anyone until she wakes up,” she turns to leave, heels clicking.
“Wait,” Satoru stops her, and she pauses, “I need a favor.”
~~~
Satoru never liked hospitals. He hadn’t spent much time in them for actual injuries, because of his abilities. However, he spent far too much time inside medical facilities for the Gojo clan’s required medical check-ups. It was to ensure the future head’s health, he was told, but really, it was an excuse to make sure their cash cow would still give them milk.
Because that’s all he ever was — a pawn.
But he had long shed that role, tossed it from the board, when he had left for Jujutsu Tech. But even so, he lingered outside your room, some things still stuck. Especially when he had new memories — of seeing his comrades dead bodies laid on cold metal slabs.
And would you have been another if he hadn’t made it in time?
Satoru shakes his head of his thoughts, and opens the door. You were still asleep. Tucked into the hospital bed, you looked so small somehow, fragile — two things he never saw you as. How could he have? When you were the one on his first day to greet him and then slap him when he had something pretentious or childish (neither of you remembered but you had insisted it was one or the other).
And he had never let you go after that. But now…he couldn’t even hold you.
The sharp beeps of the machine monitoring your vitals, connected by the tubes and wires that ran all over your body. He reaches for his blindfold so he can look at you, really look at you, but he can’t. His fingers curled into fists at his sides, nails digging into the soft of his palms,
But you were alive. You were alive. You were alive.
That’s what he had to tell himself as he drew closer to your side — no matter how you looked now, you were okay. And that’s what was most important.
“Are you going to brood by my bedside all day?” his gaze snaps to you, your eyes fluttering open still, still drooping and exhausted, but a soft smile on your lips, “Because hospitals are depressing enough, Toru,”
He chuckles, forcing his tears back and his voice to be event, “Sorry, sweetheart, I forgot to pull out the stops for you this time,” and his fingers find yours, lacing as they always did, but they felt so cold, “next time I’ll bring confetti, balloons, streamers, and I’ll serenade you even—”
You snort, “You may be the best at everything, but I know you’ll sing offkey on purpose just to piss off Shoko or anyone else that visits me,” and he laughs shakily, a sigh stuck in his throat.
He presses his forehead to yours, “I love you, so much, y’know that, yeah?”
“I love you too, so much, Toru,” you cup his cheeks, turning your head to press your lips to his hand, “thank you for saving me,”
“You saved yourself, I just cleaned up a little,” his lips find yours in a soft kiss, and your brow furrowed, “what? Are my kissing skills that bad?”
You roll your eyes, “No, but are you okay?” and he scoffs softly, shaking his head.
“You’re the one who got kidnapped and hurt, and you’re asking me if I’m—”
“Satoru, you asked me if you should murder that guy,” you tilted your head, “I know you’re not against killing if it’s necessary or deserved, but the way you said it, I got worried,”
“I’m fine, I just—” he cut off, “I just need to figure out who did this,” you squeeze his hand, “I have to,”
“Satoru—“
“I know you’re okay, but you don’t know how afraid I was that you wouldn’t be—“ he cuts off, “and it’s not just that,” his fingers curl around yours tighter, “it’s not just us we’ll have to worry about in the future. We’re already a family, but what will happen if someone targets you and our future kids?” He takes a shaky breath at the thought,
“I have to make an example.”
Your gaze grows sad, pressing a kiss to his lips, if only to ground him for a moment, “I know,” but you frown all the same, “but promise me, you won’t do anything stupid, ok?”
But he was far from stupid — but the people before him were as close as anyone could get.
“You all are aware of my wife’s attack a few weeks ago,” he said in measured words, swallowing the lump in his throat, “I’m here to tell you that she has succumbed to her wounds,” his voice wavered, breaking, “she’s gone,”
There were whispers and murmurs that swept over the room, all were silenced by the lift of a hand — one of the Gojo Clan elders, the geezer leader as he liked to call him.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Satoru,” he said, lips twisted in a fake frown, “we heard that your beloved wife passed from her injuries a week ago,”
“And yet, I see you’ve brought someone for me to meet,” his eyes slide to the woman dressed for a wedding rather than a meeting, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
The woman’s painted lips kept in a neutral expression, her body so rigid he could have mistaken her as a statue if not for his six eyes, and her eyes refused to meet his.
“Satoru, I understand you are mourning, but we have to think of the future of the Gojo clan, and our future place in the Jujutsu world is only as secure as the next heir—“
“And so you thought to disrespect my wife by trying to marry your choice?” but their brows furrow as he begins to laugh, one that sends shivers down their backs.
The elders all gape at him, sharing looks, before turning back to him as his laughter finally settles into a quiet chuckle, “Satoru, what is this?”
“It’s funny that you ever thought I’d fall for this bullshit,” he pulls off his sunglasses, cerulean eyes gleaming in the low light, “did you know my wife was never supposed to be sent on this mission? Or rather, there were no reports of cursed spirits in the area, but yet, orders came for her to report to where she was,”
A hush falls over the group, “And why are you telling us this?”
“Because I think you all have forgotten your place,” in a blink, he’s grasping the neck of the elder, the very same man who had taken him away from his parents at the age of two to ensure his training was done properly, “I am the strongest, not the Gojo clan. I’m the only Gojo needed for the clan to be prosperous,”
“You insolent child—“ Satoru squeezes around his neck, gasps and whimpers clawing their way out from his grip, veins bulging as he tried and failed to pull Satoru’s hands off. He had even let the old man penetrate his infinity and all he had managed was a scratch or two.
“You should be careful when you’re talking to the ‘child’ who has your life in his hands,” and he grows silent, “now, to get back to the point, where did those orders come from?”
A quiet washed over the room, the only sounds were the shaky gasps of the elder in his hand, “W-what are—“
“I had a chat with the higher ups — those rotten old geezers may not like me, but I know they like all their limbs intact,” he drops the elder and twists his arm behind his back, wrenching back until he heard a cracking noise, “and they told me the orders came from the Gojo clan, and I wondered why would my own clan send the wife of the head off to be executed,”
“Satoru—“ one of the elders spoke, and he tilted his head.
“If you want him to die, your excuses will only make this go faster,” and his mouth shuts, “I’ll take your silence as a confirmation that all of you had a hand in this,” he sighs, removing his sunglasses, running his fingers through his hair, “man, I’ve had conspiracies against me, but I never guessed you’d target the one person I value above everything else. But I knew you would fail her little test,”
He’s met with furrowed brows and gritted teeth, the elder looking up at him in fear, “W-what?”
“You see if I had it my way, I would have killed you all, no questions asked,” his fingers close over the top of his head, wrenching him backwards to meet his gaze, “But my wife, my very much alive wife,” he adds, with a glance to the woman looking increasingly faint with each second that passes, “she would want me to see if you’d come clean about the plan and whether some of you were innocent,” his lips curl, “but she doesn’t know the bloody history of the Gojo clan like we do,” and his fingers dig into the flesh of the elder, “so what’s a few more bloodstains?”
He tears off his head, screams ringing out as a rush of scarlet paints the walls, splattering across the other elders. The woman offered to be his wife rings over the others, her shrill shriek piercing their eardrums. It’s a dull thud as the lifeless corpse falls to the floor, as Satoru wiped the blood from his cheek, a cock of his head and eyes flashing with anger.
“You can’t do this! You—“ Satoru’s fist connects with his face, blood flooding his features.
“I can, because I’ve decided the Gojo clan needs to get rid of the tumors that infect it, and besides,” his body crumples to the floor as his foot slams into their stomach, a sick, wet noise that draws gasps and open mouthed silent screams from the others, “what are you going to do about it?”
“Please, please, she’s alive—” one of them begged, all of them falling to their knees, wrinkled faces contorted in fear, blown out eyes and faces wet with tears only making them more ugly than he thought was possible — he really couldn’t end up like these geezers, “we only wanted what was best—we wanted the next head of the clan to be even more powerful than you are—”
He laughs, not an ounce of mirth or levity, shivers running down the spines of the others who watched, as he stepped over the body of the elder, lips twisted into a wide grin, “And there’s your mistake,”
He loomed over the one who spoke, shadow cast over him, as his fingers curled around his arm, before breaking it off, spurts of blood splattering on his clothes, mixing with the other — some of it flecked across his face.
Satoru wiped his face with his forearm, tilting his head. He knew they were begging and pleading — lips moving, words forming, but it all fell on deaf ears. After all they had never bothered to listen to any sorcerer before, did they? Suguru’s face came to mind — flashes of the spring he would never get back — so why should he listen to theirs?
“You were too busy worrying about the next head, when you should’ve been worried about the current one.”
~~~~
You were asleep.
Moonlight gave way to your features in the pitch black room, your soft breaths warming his fingers that ran over your cheek. Shoko had discharged you yesterday, and he had brought you home — but even now with you home, he couldn’t sleep. It felt as if you’d disappear the moment he took his eyes off you, slipping from his grasp just as you almost did.
But you didn’t. You’re here.
It was the same words you had whispered to him every night when he had curled up beside you, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m here, aren’t I?”
But you could disappear.
You could if he wasn’t there with you — if he wasn’t fast enough. Because he couldn’t be everywhere at once, not even the strongest could accomplish that. But he wanted to keep you safe all the same. Would it be selfish to lock you up? Hide you away somewhere others could never find you? Keep you hidden if only to keep you safe.
But you never would be safe, not while you were with him.
“Toru?” Your voice breaks him from his thoughts, eyes fluttering open to meet his as your fingers reach for his cheek, “is that blood?”
And he’s pinned your hands in a blink of an eye, quickly and quietly, “it’s not mine,” his gaze glows in the dark, catching the moonlight streaming in, and he’s leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.
“Toru, what happened?” And he kisses along your cheekbones, your jaw, your nose, your chin, “Satoru—“
“I killed them,” his fingers trace the folds of the satin robe he had helped you into, brushing against the bandages that hid your wounds from his sight, but he could see them all the same, “the people who did this,”
Your brow furrows, “Toru, what do you mean the people who—“
“Why do you stay with me?” He leans down to find your lips in a bruising kiss, lips sliding against yours as his fingers undo the knot of your robe, letting the fabric fall away from your bare body.
“What—“ his lips part from yours, strings of spit connecting your mouths.
“Why do you stay with me when I’m a monster?” and your eyes soften.
“You’re not—“ and he’s cutting you off with another kiss, as your hands struggle under his grip, the other grazing down your side, finding the swell of your hip only to squeeze.
“I’m the perfect weapon,” he kisses down the side of your neck, teeth grazing against your soft flesh harshly, drawing a gasp from your lips, “I could have killed them all, because I know they all knew—“
“Knew what?”
“My clan elders — they wanted to have you die on a mission, they wanted to stage it, so they could have me marry who they wanted,” he pauses, drawing a finger down the valley of your breasts, “create a perfect heir,”
“Satoru—“
He kisses you again, swallowing your words along with your thoughts, parting only to speak, “so I killed them, I didn’t use my cursed technique, I wanted them to feel the pain they gave you, wanted them to feel a fraction of what you did,”
You can’t find a second to speak, his fingers now sliding up your bare leg, as he presses himself closer, erection against your inner thigh, “Toru, you didn’t have to put yourself through that—“
“I wanted to,” he parts your thighs easily, large palm spread against your inner thigh, fingers toying with the edge of your panties, “wanted to tear them to shreds for what they did to you — and what they wanted to do—”
“I’m okay, Satoru, I’m—” a bitter laugh leaves his throat, as his fingers find your bandages again.
“Do you call coming home half dead okay now by jujutsu sorcerer standards?” he shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair, “I told you after Suguru that I would fix this rotten jujutsu world,” he presses kisses up your thigh, “and their deaths did fix one thing — no sorcerer will touch you or our future children again, especially when they speak to the woman the clan wanted to marry off to when your body wasn’t even cold yet,”
“You left her,” and he nods, eyes unable to meet yours.
“I only killed the elders I gathered, anyone else was spared — they didn’t dig their own graves,” his hand loosens around your wrists and you reach for his cheek, cupping his cheek, despite the blood, “I don’t regret it, I’d kill anyone who hurts you, but I didn’t want you to see me like this,”
“Like what?”
“Like a monster,” and you click your tongue, his eyes flitting to yours.
“You’re my Satoru, not a monster, you did what you did to protect me, protect our family,” you murmur, “that’s just about the most Satoru thing you could do,”
“But—“
“And if you are deemed a monster anyway?” You lean up, fingers smearing the blood against your own cheek, “then I’ll just become a monster with you,”
He crashes into you with a kiss, cupping your cheeks, as his tongue slips into your mouth, “can you really be a monster, sweetheart?”
He drags his lips down your neck, his teeth grazing your soft flesh along the hollow of your throat, “T-Toru—“ and his lips find the swell of your breasts, his tongue dragging over your pert nipple, while his fingers hook into the elastic of your panties, snapping it against your skin, “y’know I can be, I would be, for you,”
He peers up through half lidded eyelids, his thumb drags down your puffy bottom lip, “I can’t imagine someone so sweet like you as one,” he murmurs, as he pulls back, lips slick with spit, as he drags his fingers toying with the soaked fabric of your panties, “and I wouldn’t want to drag you down with me,”
Your fingers reach forward, propping yourself up on your other arm, “Drag me or not,” you cup his chin, “you’re stuck with me,”
“Can we make it a binding vow?” you roll your eyes, and his lips curl for the first time since he’s got here, “c’mon sweets, I have to get my reassurance somehow,”
You hold up the giant rock on your finger, the very diamond you had told Satoru was too much, “this wasn’t enough—” the last word is a bite back gasp, as he noses at the drenched crotch of your underwear, a deep inhale that has you squirming, “No, Toru—” but he’s pinned your thighs down, prying them open, as he gazes up at you.
“Uh-uh, princess, I don’t remember saying you could move, especially when you could reopen your wounds,” his nose bumps against your clothed clit, a wicked smile as he drags his tongue over the already wet fabric, “you still haven’t seen how much of a monster I can be.”
~~~
“Ngh, Toru, can’t, I can’t—” but you can — you know you can from the heat building in your sloppy cunt under already soaked through sheets, and he knows too well you can too, from the way your pussy flutters around his three fingers, knuckle deep as they piston in and out, while his mouth toys with your abused clit, “please—”
You lost track of how many times you had orgasmed — his fingers, his mouth, and sometimes both — he had pulled each one after the other, allowing small reprieves, only to bury himself back in. He had even had you ride his face at one point, and you were sure he’d suffocate under your drenched cunt, until he flipped you on your back again.
“Please what, sweets?” he slows his fingers, curling them a certain way that makes your lips fall open, “you’ll have to use your words,” he pulls back.
Chest heaving, chin glistening with your release, his tongue cleaned his lips off before he wiped the rest off, before pressing open mouthed kisses to your inner thighs. And soon enough, his fingers were sinking back into your messy pussy, splitting you open with his thick fingers.
“Didn’t you say you wanted this, sweetheart?” his words cut through the wet squelch of his digits fucking you open, “wanted to drag you down with you, wanted this—” and he sucks hard at your clit, tongue flicking over it, making your back arch, “wanted me to drag you down with me,” and he punctuates it with a thrust of his fingers, brushing against a spot that has you seeing spots, “gotta make good on your promise, and I have to erase all the pain they gave you,”
And you barely manage to latch onto the desperation in his voice, the way the facade flickers.
He fucks you ever so slightly deeper, and you cum hard, tearing through you as your body tenses, pleasure washing over you as it did every single other time, melding into the others, “Good girl,” he murmurs, as he works his fingers through your orgasm, the slick noises becoming white noise, until he finally pulls the digits from inside you.
Your eyes flutter open to the sight of him licking his digits clean one by one of your cum, his lips curled in a soft smile as they meet your gaze, his hand sliding up your thigh gently as it quaked, the very same fingers he had used to murder the people that hurt you, were so gentle when it was you — he was always so gentle when it was you.
But never himself.
You reach up for him, palm cupping his cheek, while the other finds his bare shoulder — clothes long discarded, “I love you,” and the cracks spread, spider webbing from the epicenter, “you know that right?”
His words seem caught in the back of his throat, “Even now?”
“Especially now,” and he’s pressing you against the mattress again, your thighs folded against your chest, legs slung over his shoulders, “you saved me,”
His gaze softened, “you saved me first,” and again and again, he couldn’t count the number of times you did, by just existing, pressing a kiss to the side of your thigh, “but if I’m too late next time?”
“You can’t be everywhere,” your fingers lace with his, “and I just need you,” and still in this situation, his ego can inflate at your praise — nosing at your thigh, a deep inhale, before dragging his tongue up the side of your leg, “only you.”
He drags his weeping erection over your soaked folds, leaking tip teasing your slit while he watched his pre mix with yours, “Think you need more than just me,” and when he lets the tip sink into you, your lips part with his name, just as your walls part for him, “want something else, wifey?”
“You’re the worst,” you look up at him, lips curling despite your pout, your fingers grasping at the sheets under you, as your cunt tries to swallow him whole, “Toru, how long are you going to tease me for?”
And he’s pulling out only to draw a groan from your lips, “If you’re such a monster, thought you could take it—“ and your hand reaches for him, tugging him close by his neck.
“I swear to god, if you don’t fuck me right now—“
He grins, “If you insist,”
Fuck.
He sinks into you all at once, all too fast and all too slow, balls deep as he bottoms out inside you, your walls fluttering only to pull him deeper, “fuck,” your head falls back as his tip brushes against your cervix, “too fucking big, I swear if you rip my stitches open—”
“You don’t think I cleared this before I decided to do this, baby?” He grunts, glancing down to see how your messy hole stretched open as he sunk into you, “can’t believe anyone thought I’d fuck anyone but you — you’re the only one for me, sweetheart,”
You couldn’t help but notice his eyes flicker to your pussy stuffed full with his huge dick, “You talking to me or my cunt—“ and he begins to fuck you, remark undercut by the moan that he pulled from your lips, “f-fucker—“
“That’s exactly what you wanted, isn’t it sweetheart?” the lewd sounds of skin slapping together filled the room, his soft grunts and your moans, “wanted me to fuck you open, yeah?” and he wanted this, needed this after this week — it had been too long since he felt you under him like this — real and alive, his name leaving your swollen, kiss bitten lips.
And you needed it just the same — needed his fingers to dig into the softness of your thighs, needed the way only he could fill every inch of you, needed the soft murmurs of how good you felt, how much he loved you.
“Fuck, Toru, so fast,” you whine, but how could slow down he when you felt so good — so wet and warm, you had joked he could cum just looking at you alone barely a fist around his dick, but it was true — and being inside you just made him unravel completely, all sense of himself lost and drowning in just you, “hngh, it’s so deep,” you babble, tears burning at the corners of your eyes.
“That’s right, sweetheart, gonna fuck you deep, gotta make sure you feel it don’t I?” he coos, and his hand snakes between your thighs, pressing his palm to the bulge in your stomach, making you gasp as your walls clench around him, drawing a grunt from his lips, “that’s it, good girl,”
You keen at his praise, the wet squelch of your cunt around his cock ringing in your ears, balls slapping against your pussy with a rhythm that echoes in your head, as your body arches into him, needing him deeper, harder, faster. He’s nearly rutting into you, his thrusts growing shallow as you clamp down on him, achingly close.
“Those old fucking geezers don’t know what they were talking about—“ he grunts, running his mouth all the same even as he sunk impossibly fucking deeper, “don’t know this is the only cunt I’d ever breed. The only one I’d ever breed. The only one I can. Know why?” And you only can whimper, as his fingers rub against your clit, “because this is the only one made for my cum,”
And his words push you over the edge, cumming hard and fast, head lolling back, as his tip bullies your womb, as he fucks you hard over and over through your orgasm, sending pleasure ripping up your spine. Satoru groans as he feels you spasm, soaking in him in your juices, as he watches a white ring of your cum form around the base of his dick, dripping onto the clean sheets with the evidence of your arousal.
He can’t hold back.
He rails into you, a moan of your name falling past your lips making you pull him close, shifting your legs around his back just so he can sink into you even a centimeter deeper—
“Fuck, g’nna cum,” he’s meeting your glazed over eyes, knowing “gonna fill you up, yeah? Get you nice and round with my baby,” he groans at the thought, the image of you carrying his kid, stomach swollen as you grow his child, “and they’ll know, all of them, that you’re the only one I’d cum in,” and he’s so close, dick twitching as your arms around his neck tug him close.
“Cum in me, Toru, give me our baby,” and that’s it, he’s spilling inside you, spurting his hot release inside, again and again, as he fucks it deeper, filling you up.
“That’s it, take every drop,” he’s relentless, until he finally eases from you, his release trickling out. A soft sigh parts your lips that grows into a sharp gasp as he’s already flipping you over onto your stomach.
“Toru—” you whine.
“Aw did you think we were done sweetheart?” a pillow cushions your still bandaged stomach, placed underneath to support you, a shudder down your body as he rubs his cock against you, as he leans down, hot words murmured against your ear with a grin, before he sinks back into you with one thrust, stuffing his spilling cum back inside, “One thing about monsters are that we also have monstrous stamina.”
~~~
It was early, but Satoru was already awake.
He always had trouble sleeping, but now? His eyes found your sleeping form beside him, under the covers and safe, just as he had left you that morning. He didn’t know if he’d ever sleep more than three hours now. He brushed the back of his knuckles over your cheek, but you needed sleep — one of three things you never could live without (food and himself being the other two). And you definitely needed it now, after he had kept you up — nearly all night.
You shifted in your sleep, revealing several blooming hickies and love bites he had littered your body with, lips curling at the sight, as he pulled the blanket back up around you.
He was selfish — he should have divorced you the moment he had gotten you back. Let you leave because it was the right thing to do — to let you live a life safe without him. But he couldn’t — because he couldn’t imagine waking another morning, spending another day without knowing where you were, how you were doing.
It was selfish. But you let him be — especially when it came to you.
And his phone vibrates on the nightstand, whirring again and again, as he picks it up with a sigh, Yaga’s name flashing on the display. He takes one last glance at you before slipping from bed, stepping into the living room.
“Sensei! To what—“ he hardly gets a word out before screams fill his ears. He rubs his chin, it was too early for this.
He makes out the words — Gojo clan, dead, scandal, murder (wasn’t sure if he meant if he was going to murder Gojo or he meant what happened to the elders).
“It was a clan dispute, there was no need to tell you,”
Satoru held the phone away from his ear, Yaga’s yelling told him everything he needed to know, “Yeah, yeah, I know, the higher ups know — or they probably do by now,” he almost chuckles at the thought, and how he would love to do the same to them — knuckles white as he grips his phone — love to make them feel the same pain the sorcerers cared nothing for felt, make them—
Arms curl around him from behind and he knows it’s you, his body relaxing into your touch with practiced ease, your face buried in his back. His fingers relax, finding yours, tracing over the back, as he lifts one hand to his lips.
—But it wasn’t the time for that.
“Fine, fine, no need to have a heart attack, old man — I’ll talk to them tomorrow,” Yaga was still speaking until Satoru hung up, turning to face yoy, your eyes half closed as his fingers found your cheek, “what are you doing awake, sweets?”
His lips curl as you lean into his touch, “you weren’t next to me when I woke up,” you murmur, nose brushing against his fingers as your eyes flutter open and closed, “how am I supposed to sleep when my pretty husband isn’t next to me?”
“Just pretty?” and you snort, as his arm sneaks around your waist, pulling you to his chest, your head right over his heart, a content sigh on your lips.
“Are you ever serious?”
“Always,” and you smile up at him, chin resting against him, “what is it? Do I got something on my face?”
“You think our baby will have your pretty face?” You hum, and his gaze softens at the thought, “I hope so,”
He grins, “You do huh? And here I thought my ego didn’t need more stroking,”
“It doesn’t, but my husband deserves every bit of praise he gets — because he doesn’t get enough,” you kiss him softly, nose bumping against his.
“You planning on showering me with your praise, sweetheart?” And your lips finds his again.
“Always,” and he’s leading you back towards the bedroom, “where are you—“ you squeal as he scoops you up into his arms and carries you back to bed, gently placing you down, a grin on his lips.
He drags his thumb down your kiss ruined lips, “Do you think I’m gonna let you leave this bed without breeding you right?” He clicks his tongue, “I’m far from done with you, wifey,”
You’re so beautiful, hair spread on the pillow like a halo, “So we’re not leaving until I’m pregnant?” Your fingers brush against his cheek, “we might be here a while,”
Satoru wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
He kisses you again, long and languid, “There’s nothing I want more than to stay in bed with you.”
✧ a/n: sorry i've been gone for a bit!! i got super busy with work and got hella writer's block and right when i was feeling ready to write-- i got sick. but i'm doing much better now!!
✧ taglist: @arrivedercis, @ssetsuka, @ch3rryistheg, @satorusmochis, @sunarins-bae, @blindbabycadder , @yihona-san06 , @dantaku , @archieballs , @ceruleansol , @mqcht , @xxemmarldxx , @chiyokoemilia , @theshylittleelfgirl , @rroseselavyyy , @out4thenight , @jatyes , @unreliablefangs , @sleazymac-n-cheesy , @celestialseasart , @minsified , @akemfs , @ranatherealestsigma , @zherryxtar , @virtualangelllllll , @itsmebien , @difluenza , @rougebrainsludge , @mochigod , @euphorism , @vii-is-free , @elliesndg , @beneaththelamina , @monarch-of-anime-simping , @hhimetsu , @simply-a-s1mp , @jennieclips , @svt-backup , @angelbunsx , @duhhitsmiranda , @satowooo , @fushitoru , @lesaurita , @briluvslee , @gojo-gets-me-wetter , @catsgomurp , @pinkyvomit , @hyori2 , @wakashudou , @celestialgojo , @sxnkuna, @nakariabnrb, @dazailover1900, @hanlay, @being-me-is-not-a-sin, @kxouri, @forest-fruits-jam, @spider-fan72, @strawmariee
#sab [mlist]#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo smut#gojo smut#satoru gojo fanfiction#gojo satoru x you#gojo x reader#gojo fanfiction#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru fanfiction#jjk fanfiction#jjk x reader#Jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk gojo
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sometimes i miss talking to that one person who didn't NEVER turned it into a competition about who has it worse and never told me well atleast you have [x]
#weirdly i think she was the only one#my irl bestie called and was ranting about her miserable life and#it's the exact same thing ive been going through for years her parents won't let her move to another city#she can't make friends here she hates it here her parents are being overbearing and don't understand the importance of socialising#with people her age and they tell her to just hang out with her family all day and don't give her privact#like. okay. i love her ive been listening to her complain about how her mom comes into her room sometimes. and just#i was okay listening to it okay im no judge for how someone's feeling and my bad might be their worst#but then she goes like well atleast you'll know you'll get to move out after you finish your degree for a job#like. wow okay. atleast you got to enjoy 3 years of college at the coolest city in india atleast you got to have vibrant life experiences#and learned so much about the world made tons of friends visited a hundred places had a boyfriend#went to clubs increased your netword learned how to be street smart and talk well#i hate to be resentful ofcoursr im happy for her and ofc i understand this is a hard time#but like god seriously. she'll never know what it feels like think you'll live your life as you pass 12th because they let your elder siste#go to college and she had the best times and then suddenly you're 17 and they twll you well actually we made a mistake and we won't repeat#it ever so you're just gonna stay home where we watch you 24/7 and ww won't even let you go to classes that have somewhat okayish people#because you can't have friends because they'll distract you from your studies#and she'll never know what it's like working towards a dream everyday that seems so fucking faw away and unreachable#when you're not even good at studying and especially focusing because yeah parents fucked you up majorly!!#like im sorry but try being completely hopeless and alone and isolated losing your friends one by one watching everyone#grow and find themselves as you rot in your room try to do better try to find happiness but it's impossible it's never enough#and try to study for a really fucking hard course in the middle of all that#and then tell me that atleast ill get to go out after i finish#like seriously try fucking living my life for one day and then talk#god i know ive become resentful and bitter because of a thing in my childhood but i don't know how to stop#ugh i never should've picked up the phone i was studying so well before that#anyway. i miss talking to that one person who was sensitive and sweet and encouraging always yk#i miss hearing i completely understand you because im going through the same things (def worse imo) and we'll get through this together#man.#chappell roan was so right actually i hate that i let this go on for so long now i hate myself
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