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sanzaibian · 5 months

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I should have known better.

You know, those highschool cliques ? The jocks, the nerds, the goths and all... Well, even though nowadays they might not be as clear-cut as they once were, I can assure you that they still existed.

You see, I'm a nerd. But when I say nerd, I mean nerd. Like the whole socially awkward, scrawny and ugly kind of nerd. Also the nasally always-right nerd with top notch marks that reminds the teacher he made a mistake kind of nerd. And also the loves DnD, fantasy and niche interests kind of nerd... well, you get what I mean.

Me being such a caricature meant that I was endlessly teased at school, and was senselessly bullied by the jocks. You know, these hot guys with always a girl in their pants, with big muscles and an obsession with looking good.

I hated it, I hated them, and suffered silently through highschool, until I finally saw the other side when I finally went to university. Although my first years were a bit messed up by Covid, when I was in the building actually studying applied chemistry, I finally wasn't bothered. No one was there to tease me, to bully me or anything else. I could finally live in the class without being bothered !

But, in my third year, Ethan, a guy looking like one of those jocks of old switched courses and came in my class.

I was shocked ! These guys are only good for being hot, playing sports, and entering hot girls' pants ! Not for doing some actual intelligent things like applied chemistry !

But he was even more annoying, that Ethan guy. Because he did not only take the courses I took. No, in fact, he was getting better grades than me. He's so good with polymers that he is the one who asks all the questions and corrects the teacher, not me !

So I tried to avoid him as much as I could. Even when he tried to befriend me, I just scoffed at him, sometimes even mumbling that he should go back to the football stadium. I also talked to the few acquaintances that I had made through awkward bumbling at how I felt he was dumb, and perhaps was only extorting some poor nerds for information to regurgitate in class.

And, one day, at lunch, I just had enough. Ethan and the polymer teacher had an intense debate just before the end of the class, a debate that I couldn't follow. My ego was struck, to the point that I just poured my heart out to the poor people sitting with me. I was seeing red, that day, and nothing could have stopped me... not even the fact that Ethan was there a few tables next to me.

I've since then heard that Ethan was very upset after my tirade, as he is always thought to be dumb due to his interest in being in shape and stylish, while at the same time, I was coming back home all happy to finally have given people a piece of my mind.

However, when I woke back up, I felt weird. I felt heavier, less agile and especially more groggy. As if I just couldn’t quite get up. There was also something cold on my chest that I couldn’t quite identify…

So I did the only logical thing and went to the bathroom to wash my face and properly wake up. But when I saw the mirror, I think what I saw woke me up immediately.

The man behind the mirror was not me. It was a jock – a hot one at that – with big muscles, trendy hair, chiseled face and multiple jewelry. Yet, there were still a few things that signaled me I was looking at myself : the jet black hair, the tan skin, the brown eyes and especially those small pimples on my right cheek and on my right… I guess I can call it pec, now.

I stayed in front of the mirror for quite a while, looking at each corner of my reflection. I couldn’t believe it, and after a long while, decided to just eat breakfast and forget everything that happened. It just isn’t possible.

But when I was going to my kitchen I couldn’t stop being reminded of how I changed. From my heavy step to the sound of my new necklace, and from the pecs I saw in the corner of my eyes to the weird feeling I still felt in my head. When finally reaching it, I was surprised when I didn’t go for my usual biscuits but rather for an apple… I must eat healthily, after all !

After finishing eating breakfast, I went to my closet, and rather than going for the button-up I usually wore, I went for a simple white t-shirt, and went for a jacket that I didn’t feel like closing, in addition to my usual jeans – all suspiciously fitting me well.

And with that, I went to university, set on finding who did that to me.

When I arrived, the weird feeling in my head hadn’t lifted, though I was dead set in finding who was responsible. So dead set that I didn’t notice people turning their head at my arrival. Nor my backpack shifting to only being carried by one shoulder.

After a while, I saw my class, and approached them with heavy gait, swinging my torso with every step like a typical jock. However, curses befell upon me when I opened my mouth and greeted my classmate.

“Yo, bro ! Doin’ good ? I just wanted to ask, bro, anything weird happened since yesterday ?”

I was shocked at how I said that, so much that I covered my mouth with my hand. My classmate was similarly shocked, and only shook her head negatively before excusing herself. Why did she flee like that ?

I clicked my tongue before looking at myself. How had this happened ? Why am I doing weird things ? Why am I talking weirdly ? I can think the sophisticated thoughts, yet when I voice them, they are filtered through bro-speech !

As I was melting down, none other than Ethan came in, smiling. Of course it was him, I shouldn’t have given the benefit of the doubt to him ! I have been only graceful and nice to him, and this is how he repays me ? By turning me into this… hot monstrosity ?

As the anger was rising, Ethan lead me to the bathroom, and there explained himself.

“You know, Juan, you’ve been insufferable ever since we started that semester. Always distrusting me, and making others distrust me. I’ve never know why you were always so angry at me, while you treated others with respect… that is, until you went on a rant yesterday.

- You fucker ! Turn me back right now, or you’ll wish you’ve never been born, you son of bitch !” I didn’t quite expect to be this foul-mouthed…

- Hahaha ! No, I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’s already so unexpected that my prayers were answered to, so you turning back ? No can do !

- Bro that’s not fair, I wasn’t bad to you, man ! You were the one being rude on my turf, bruh !

- So funny ! You now sound like one stereotypical jock in addition to looking like one ! I’m sorry, Juan, but nobody will ever take you seriously in a conference If you talk to them like that !” he laughs.

- Bro, just turn me back… I promise I won’t continue, man !

- What didn’t you understand in ‘No can do’, Juan ? the ‘no’ ?”

I roll my eyes, but he’s right… God that fucking angers me. I want to strangle that piece of shit !

“So, Juan, I guess, see you in class, if you even dare enter it…”

On that, he left. That day, I didn’t go to class, spending my time looking for information on what made me turn like that, until, like clockwork, at 5 PM I felt like I needed to go to the gym…

After a few days of searching and not finding anything at all, I decided to abandon the quest to find myself back and to rather learn to live with this new body. With Ethan stubbornly refusing to tell me how he did it and with my searches on internet only yielding weird fetish pages, I knew it was desperate...

I’ve since started to learn to cope with my strange occurrence, though it has absolutely wrecked my life. After having debated a while with the administration to prove I’m myself, I find my grades slipping, especially due to my newfound rudeness that mess up every single oral exam…

But at least, I’m hot now…

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Hello, thank you for reading my small story, I hope it wasn't too bad !

Please do not hesitate to give me feedback - especially as it is the first real time I'm writing fiction in english ^^'

#male transformation #male tf #nerd to jock #jock tf #transformation #tf story

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zzthekaiju · 2 months

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Best of the Reptiles in Media - 01 - Godzilla (Monsterverse)

I figure that while I'm using this blog, I might as well post my ramblings on a subject dear to my heart: That being the representation of reptiles as characters in media. And not just villainous or vile ones like we're so used to. I'm talking about ones that inspire me. The ones that are legitimately compelling to me. And these posts are an excuse to espouse why.

Plus, it's just fun. You can thank the likes of @tyrantisterror and @bogleech for inspiring me to do these.

So who better to start with than with the lizard who's been an inspiration to me for almost my entire life. That being the one known as Gojira. AKA...Godzilla.

This is the one character in these posts who probably needs no introduction. Ever since his debut in 1954, the walking embodiment of the horrors of nuclear war, among other things, has been nothing less than an icon. This is the beast people think about when they hear "giant monster" or "kaiju". This is truly the King of the Monsters.

My introduction to Godzilla was a children's book called "Godzilla on Monster Island". It was a fun read full of neat monsters living together and teaming up to stop an evil plan. And it left me wanting more. I wanted more stories of these fantastic yet friendly beasts being friends and living together while having fun adventures. Little me was a bit disappointed to find that Godzilla spent more time fighting his fellow kaiju and trashing cities instead.

The truth, as I would find out, was that Godzilla is never just one thing. He is a fun defender of the Earth. He's the terrifying consequences of our tampering with both nature and science. And in recent memory, he's been a lot of other things. But most of the time, he's either hero or mankind's hubris on two legs. To me, he was a giant dinosaur that could fire thermonuclear breath, and that was all that mattered. It was after hearing about the historical significance of him that my respect doubled.

Back then, I would tell you that my favorite Godzilla from a design standpoint was the 2002 version. Personality wise, almost every Showa appearance post-1964.

But in 2014, everything changed. In came a Goji that seemed to have everything I could ask for. So, we're going to look at the one that resonates with me the most. The Monsterverse version.

That right there is perhaps one of the most awe-inspiring entrances I've ever seen in a cinema.

Before the release of Godzilla (2014), the franchise had entered something of a slump period. The last film was all the way back in 2004, and sadly, the kaiju genre was still something of a niche thing growing up. Here in America, you either liked superheroes or real-life celebrities as a kid. If you liked monsters, let alone giant monsters, you were one of the weird kids. That, or one of the kids who never lost their passion for dinosaurs. But those were rare.

Then Gareth Edwards unleashed this film, and while one could argue that Pacific Rim (2013) got the ball rolling, THIS ultimately resurrected the entire franchise of the Big G, and got him a degree of general respect from most film-goers (so long as you ignore the irritating internet drama regarding screen-time back then).

But let's get to the meat of this post. Why is this Godzilla so much better to me than the rest? A few things, really.

First off, there's Godzilla's role in the Monsterverse's narrative. For the most part, he is a guardian of the natural order, a means of bringing balance to imbalance. He is a metaphor for how nature is capable of righting itself, and how we either have to deal with it, or live with the consequences. In practice, Godzilla ends up going up against almost every monster, most of which are only a threat because we awakened them/created them. Yet despite this, he doesn't go out of his way to destroy us. He's not mindlessly destructive or particularly vengeful either. He knows we're a part of the world too. We just tend to grate a bit more on his nerves because of how much we screw up. If there's one thing this series isn't afraid to show, it's that...well, "the arrogance of man is thinking nature is within our control, and not the other way around."

Design-wise, this is one of the best Godzilla's around. He's bulky, has a killer stare, and there's something oddly endearing about how...well, meaty he is. He's like if my aforementioned previous favorite design, the 2002 one, put on both a lot of muscle and weight. It also ties into his fighting style, said to have been inspired particularly by bears. Even the sounds associated with him are amazing. From that hype-inducing charge of his thermonuclear breath to what might be the best rendition of the classic roar.

Then there is the body language. This Godzilla's usual gait is slow, almost plodding at times. He shows clear signs of exhaustion in some scenes. What he goes through is hard, and his job is even harder, but he still does it. It really helps sell his personality most of the time.

Part of why I like the Monsterverse so much is that, for the most part, the kaiju are treated as characters in their own right (that's not to say they weren't in previous iterations, far from it, but it's a bit more pronounced here than most of the post-Showa stuff). Sure, some films in this verse are better about it than others (more on that later...), but I like how you can glean what Godzilla is thinking of just by looking at his eyes. Of particular note is how they widen in "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" when Ghidorah gains the upper hand during the final battle, his absolute sneer of anger in the first movie when the male MUTO approaches him, or...this.

This scene. This one right here encapsulates so much of what I love about this iteration. Where Godzilla, dazed and thoroughly battered by both the fight with the MUTOS and having a building fall right on him, locks eyes with a tiny little soldier. You see a sense of tiredness, of pain, of acknowledgement, and maybe even a little wonder. This is not just some mindless beast fighting for its turf. It's a thinking being. And he's hurt. The most powerful creature on the planet isn't invincible, neither on the outside and definitely not on the inside.

And you know what? I've been there. There are times where I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world, that there are things too heavy to bear, and its suffocating. Godzilla constantly shows throughout the Monsterverse that his job as a living balancing act is wearing on him. He gets put through so. Much. Crap. From getting buildings dropped on him to being personally dropped from a distance above the clouds to watching his symbiotic partner/mate die, it's almost unfair how we're expected to not really sympathize with him as much as...I'll get to that later.

But he never gives up. Despite all the pain and fatigue, he gets back up, and he fights. And he fights. And he continues until the deed is done. Someone has to rise to the occasion, and it might as well be him. If not him, then who?

That is the biggest reason I resonate with this Godzilla. His awe-inspiring design is one thing, but he gave me the strength to persevere. I don't give up, because he never did. Never before had the Big G been such a hero to me. Such that in 2014 I found myself silently sobbing to myself when it seemed like he was dead near the end even though that was clearly not the case. It's hardly a surprise that I based my personal Godzilla AU on him, albeit with the more sympathetic traits dialed up. Stuff like this made G14 and KOTM some of my favorite kaiju flicks...

...which made it more than a little disappointing when Wingard took the helm and basically said "screw that, this is about the monke now!" Yeah, GvK is the weakest entry in the series for me for a reason. Godzilla's more redeeming qualities are buried under a narrative that clearly is not interested in giving him the time of day or even the benefit of a doubt. Both it and it's successor, GxK, are Kong movies through and through, and that means poor Big G is put out of focus.

I cannot tell you how much I HATE this idea that the only way a monster can be relatable is if it either looks almost just like us or is really cute. Yes, I understand the universal appeal, but they had such a good thing going for Godzilla! And they throw almost all of it away just so that they can make Kong look better by comparison.

Credit where it's due, these issues are slightly improved in GxK. It's not only firmly established that Godzilla is an overall benefit to the world for keeping the other Titans in check, but we get some interesting bits with him like how he instantly responds and prepares to answer the call of the Iwi and help them. It shows that despite his tenuous relationship with humans, there are ones he clearly gives a lot of thought to. And there's also how he makes the Roman Coliseum his own personal bed. Not only is it kind of hilariously adorable, but if you remember how in KOTM he had his own man-made temple, you get the impression that he has a bit of homesickness. That's the kind of thing I like to see! More of that and less "he's only ever angry and he only ever fights, character is for primates only".

Also, while the Evolved design has nice details, I WANT THAT GUT BACK! it just looks weird otherwise with that disproportionately skinny waist.

But thankfully, our prayers might be answered:

With GxK's roaring success (ha!), it's more than likely that the next Monsterverse entry will finally give Godzilla an overdue character arc that doesn't begin and end with "destroy everyone and act big and scary and nothing else". Just please make sure that he doesn't have to die to get that. There are plenty of ways you can make us invest in the guy's story without having to kill him. I WANT to see more of that emotional vulnerability teased across the movies. I want to see him come to terms with how he's been going about his job. And more importantly...I want to see a more explicit Mothzilla scene. A nuzzle and everything. But that's just me.

Whatever the quality of his current status, nothing is taking away how much I love this version of Godzilla. He's taken me out of some very dark places, and for that, I say long live the king.

Also, he brought Mothzilla into the public sphere and every Mothzilla pic made since is the cutest thing ever, so I just love him even more.

#best of the reptiles in media #ramblings #godzilla #gojira #monsterverse #godzilla 2014 #g14 #godzilla king of the monsters #godzilla vs kong #godzilla x kong: the new empire

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for arguing with someone over ships?

🧀⛵ so i can find this later

Yes, this is ship discourse AITA #294729472 you can scroll away, english isn't my first language, my apologies.

So I (16M (But 13-14 at the time)) am in a very niche fandom. As in, we didn't have any new content for the past 5 years and media is old af (2013), very few fans, most of us know each other already.

I used to have these mutuals Cheese (Not their real name) (around my age i think?? I can't remember) and Breadstick (Not his real name) (18M).

We all had our little ships, ok? I like the little (dumbass golden retriever boy) x (badass traumatized man) ship, Cheese liked the little (badass traumatized man) x (literally the same thing but evil and abusive) and Breadstick liked both ships.

I met Breadstick before meeting Cheese so we were already friends before i met Cheese. I thought "Cool, another person likes this little niche thing i'm hyperfixated on!" So we became mutuals.

I didn't anticipate that we would argue about ships, but oh well. So, i'm a very chill person regarding ships, literally any, although i do have NOTPs, i'm not really toxic about my hatred, i just go "Ah, not my thing" and scroll away not without blocking the person, but really nothing personal and no hard feelings, i can perfectly be friends with someone who loves my notp.

In fact, that was the case with Cheese. They shipped my NOTP, like A LOT. But I was okay with it, i mean these are just characters and all we're doing is being silly. I didn't take this THAT seriously. However, when I seemed to talk about my ship, Cheese seemed uncomfortable in some way.

When I was talking about my fankid (call me cringe idc) of my OTP, Cheese got very confused and asked who was i talking about. Breadstick came in and introduced my fankid to them, since he knew about it before. Cheese just started being rude, literally saying swear words (Not against them but, the context didn't really call for it? No one was being mean or mad), saying, and i quote as best as i can, "I don't know what the fuck made you think i knew who the hell [Fankid] was".

I got very mad about it, so i privately dm'ed Breadstick about Cheese's attitude. We began trash talking about them, which, i admit was a very trashy thing to do and definitely asshole material™.

Reason why may i be the asshole: over time, Breadstick just started complaining a lot about Cheese, and I could honestly agree, it came to the point of us disliking them to some degree but not telling them and not breaking the mutual, that could be considered two faced behavior.

This was partly influenced because of another incident. So Cheese and Breadstick where rambling about an OT3 (3 person ship) they had in common, basically sharing ideas and stuff. I thought it would be fun and went "Hey, I have an OT3 too, maybe i should post about it too". So I went and posted about it, but Cheese felt very uncomfortable with that, since basically my OT3 was exactly like Cheese's OT3 but one character is different, "basically".

They said "You have your thing, let US have ours". Felt bad and honestly, maybe i shouldn't have intruded their ot3 rambling. I didn't expect such negative reaction out of them.

In other occasions they complained about me posting a little too much about my ship, even though they did the same thing with theirs. And they also had a mutual that said "If you ship [this character] you suck and i fucking hate you. [character] is too abusive to be shipped with anyone and you can't just make an AU, that would just change him as a character completely" which, dear god, that language wasn't needed, right?. And despite that crazy person saying that, Cheese agreed with their take, despite literally shipping the character in question with another one. And abusively too, which like you do you, lord knows i do that too, but agreeing with a take like that while doing exactly what it is complaining about is weird. On the other side, that person wasn't my mutual, so it's unrealistic of me to expect Cheese to control their mutuals over me, Cheese can mutual whoever they want, but i can still be weirded out right?

That is without including them telling other people to kill themselves over shipping, so it was clear that Cheese took this shipping thing seriously while me and Breadstick to some degree didn't. Honestly another reason why i might be an asshole, clearly they felt their otp was personal and me not liking it + ignoring it caused a bad environment, mala mía, but what else could i have done?

So, clearly Cheese is kind of an asshole to some degree. But i think what makes ME an asshole too is when I trash talked behind their back and cut them off way later than i should've. And also, i guess i shoved my ship down their throat taking by how mad they were about it? I didn't do it intentionally though and i could definitely say they did the same thing too when 80% of the fandom and character tags was them posting about their ship. Again, small niche fandom for old unpopular media, we are keeping it alive ourselves.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #ship discourse #posts that make me crave one of those lil cheese dip breadstick snack packs #which i have not eaten in roughly uhhhh at least a decade and a half #but the taste. you never forget that taste

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kumeko · 25 days

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A/N: For the @gf10yearslaterzine ! I feel like after they’ve grown a bit older and living in the ‘normal’ world, it’s easy to lose sight of the magic of that one summer. Especially with the grunkles off in a boat somewhere. Maybe they’d imagined it all. Maybe magic was gone. Maybe they’re doomed to ordinary lives like the rest of us.

…

There are no faeries in the University of California, Berkeley.

There were no gnomes, centaurs, or unicorns either. Dipper wasn’t surprised. Most cities didn’t have magic, aliens, or supernatural creatures. The few that did had only the smallest whispers of the strange, the kind of things that were easy to overlook and miss. In the ten years since his summer at Gravity Falls, Dipper could count on one hand the shenanigans he’d fallen into.

That didn’t make his disappointment any less. He sighed as he meandered down the street, taking in the sprawling campus around him. Part of him had hoped that with its history, the university would prove different.

“There’s no faeries here either,” Mabel replied in his ear, chipper as ever. If something hadn’t changed with time, it was her overbearingly positive attitude. “I even checked Central Park—you know, they have an Alice in Wonderland area? But none of the weird things that she met. It’s like, are you even trying?”

Dipper stared blankly into the distance, his grip relaxing on his phone. It was like she’d read his mind. “Huh?”

Unfazed by his lack of response, Mabel rattled on, “Well, actually, I think I saw a wererat or something in the subway, but that might have just been a normal rat too. Apparently they can grow as big as a cat? Which actually is freakier than anything I’ve ever seen. Who’d you think would win in a fight?”

She’d always been good at filling in the silence. Even now, states apart, that hadn’t changed. Ever the social butterfly, Mabel always had something to say, whether it was gossip or a discovery or her feelings on a really niche topic that no one else knew about.

On the plus side, her monologue gave Dipper enough time to process their conversation. He must have accidentally spoken aloud. His ears flushed red with embarrassment and he rubbed his neck, even though she couldn’t see that through the screen. Chuckling awkwardly, he replied, “I guess magic just doesn’t like cities.”

“Cities?” Mabel snorted, cutting off her rant on how the commuters on the subway were the real monsters. Dipper didn’t have to see her to know her hands were moving a mile a minute, as though her entire body had to talk with every word she said. “Did we ever see magic anywhere aside from Gravity Falls? Really see, and not ‘I-think-I-saw-a-ghoul-but-it’s-midnight-and-I’m-drunk’?”

Dipper flushed a brighter red and he glanced around. Mabel’s voice was so loud, he was certain she could be heard in the next town over. Luckily, none of the other students paid him any mind, too busy trying to get from class to class to care about him. “That was one time.”

“And every other time was just as sketchy!” Mabel argued with a huff. For once, she had a point. “Seriously, though, how is just one town such a hotbed for magic?” She chuckled. “Bet you’d love to write a paper on that.”

Now it was Dipper’s turn to laugh. He lowered his voice, trying for a mysterious husky that the women in his class seemed to like. “What makes you think I haven’t?”

There was a pause on the other end before Mabel muttered, “I hope you’re joking, or I’m really worried about your non-existent social life.”

He flinched. There went his dreams of being enigmatic. Maybe he was wrong about the voice. Or maybe it just didn’t work on Mabel. “Hey, I have one,” Dipper protested, trying to keep the whine out of his voice.

“Your nerd clubs don’t count.” Mabel sighed. “And you don’t even have me around to make sure you’re cool.”

“It’s not like you’re the expert of cool,” Dipper grumbled, sulking. While Mabel was the social butterfly between the two, her sweaters had all but guaranteed that the popular kids had ignored her throughout high school. They were both dorky outcasts, albeit in different ways.

“Still cooler than you.” Mabel hummed. He wondered what kind of sweater she was wearing now. Even the summer heat couldn’t stop her from donning one. Maybe he should investigate her for magic. “Hey, wanna go back this summer?”

For the second time that day, Dipper stared blankly ahead as he tried to process her words. “Back?”

“To Gravity Falls!” Mabel chirped, her words spilling out of her faster and faster as her excitement grew. “The Grunkles said they’d be back in June!”

“They will?” Dipper shouted. Immediately, he covered his mouth, but it was too late. His fellow schoolmates gave him a curious look before ignoring him once more. Maybe he shouldn’t have called Mabel while he was walking to class. At this rate, he was going to get a reputation.

“Yeah, said they’re taking a land break.” Mabel giggled, clearly amused. He hoped she wasn’t laughing at him. “I wonder who got seasick. Or maybe they’re becoming mermaids after being out there for so long.”

“It’s not like they were swimming the whole time,” Dipper pointed out, though in all honesty, it’s not like magic ever required logic to happen. Maybe just being on the water long enough was all it took to change.

“We could celebrate their birthday too.” Mabel let out a happy hoot and he could hear her bounce. “They’re what, 70 now? It’ll be a lot of candles but I think we can do it.”

“You don’t have to put that many candles,” Dipper vetoed, already picturing a cake full of holes. Seventy, huh? It was hard to think about just how old that was. His grunkles had always been old, it was part of the reason they were grunkles and not uncles. Still, when he was younger, they’d felt almost immortal. Even with the strange magic and danger and world-destroying evil monsters, it had felt like nothing could stop them.

Now that Dipper was an adult and knew a little too much about the aging process and a smattering of biology, he knew better.

And that knowledge did little to reassure him.

“You’re overthinking again,” Mabel said, cutting through his thoughts. Despite how nonsensical she was, her voice always had a sense of clarity and purpose, as though she could see something he couldn’t.

In some ways, he was certain she could.

Dipper chuckled awkwardly, not bothering to deny it. Mabel spotted his lies easily these days. “How do you always know?”

“We’re twins,” she stated matter-of-factly, as though this were a law of the universe, codified in science. He could almost see her wagging her finger at him. “It’s the twin connection. Twin ESP? Oh!” She clapped her hands together. “You know, maybe we’re just made of magic.”

Dipper snorted. That was exactly the kind of pick-me-up he needed to hear. “I don’t feel that magical.”

“That’s cause you’re overthinking things again. You’re not looking at it the right way.” Mabel hummed. He could hear cars in the background as Mabel threaded her way through New York City. It was a good thing the whole city was so busy; he couldn’t imagine the looks she must have gotten talking like this on the subway earlier. “I mean, you never look at things the right way, but this time you’re very wrong.”

“Yes, yes, I’m always wrong and you’re right.” Dipper rolled his eyes. He stopped walking now and stretched his hand above him as he stared at the clear, blue sky. “So, how should I look at it?”

“The right way.” Undaunted, she continued. Her words bumped into one another as she got invested in her new pet theory. “We are magic. You’re magic. I said it, so it’s true.”

As usual, Mabel didn’t make any sense. The tiny bud of hope he’d felt withered away. Dipper dragged a hand through his hair, his nails scratching his scalp. “I don’t think it works that way.”

“Of course it works that way.” He could hear Mabel wave her hand dismissively. It was a miracle she hadn’t hit another pedestrian as she spoke; with how animated her arms could get sometimes, Dipper had considered selling her to a power company. “It’s magic, duh! It works anyway! No wonder you were having issues finding any. How would you find anything if you act like that? You have to believe in it.”

Miffed, Dipper pointed out, “It’s not like you found it either, Miss. High-And-Mighty.”

“I can’t find magical creatures,” Mabel corrected. “I’ve always found magic.”

He stared at his phone. Did he want to ask? Dipper could feel a headache forming. Even now, as adults, there were still times when he didn’t quite know how to handle Mabel. Still, he’d be thinking about this all night if he kept quiet. With a sigh, he put it back to his ear. “There’s a difference?”

“Yeah! Obviously!” Mabel snorted, her pig-like laughter crackling through the cellphone’s speaker. “Magical creatures are like people. If they don’t want to be found, you won’t find them. Magic, though, is kinda a…hmmm…remember when we saw Peter Pan? You gotta believe in order to find it. It’s really easy too.”

“Is it now?” Dipper rubbed his forehead. He was definitely going to need Advil. “And what magic have you seen?”

“Well, that’s—” Mabel gasped. “Oh, shit, I think my class is starting! Gotta go!”

Dipper shouted, “Wait, Mabel—”

“Love you!” And without another word, the dial tone returned as Mabel cut him off.

“Mabel!” he fruitlessly shouted again. Dipper grimaced as he hung up. Of course she left before saying the most important part. Of course she’d been vague and her instructions made no sense. Believe in magic? How? What would he see after?

No matter how much he mulled over it, it wouldn’t make sense. Maybe he should just pack up and head to his own class.

Yet, Mabel never lied to him, not anymore. If she said she’d seen it, she’d seen it. Even if she was just mistaking something else for magic. Part of him wanted to believe. The world felt grey without the strange and wondrous.

God, he wished he had her confidence.

Dipper bit his lip. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt this one time to listen to her. To just believe. He closed his eyes. Magic. Science. Paranormal. The weird. Remembering Gravity Falls, remembering that one magical, strange, weird summer, he opened his eyes.

Nothing happened. Nothing changed. Students passed by. The wind blew.

Dipper sighed. Of course it’d ended like this. He straightened up and shoved his phone in his pocket, ready to go. Just before he could take a step, a man walked past, his body lump, his steps uneven.

There was something familiar about his shape, his gait. A memory of three gnomes in a trench coat buzzed faintly in his mind. Of the first incident that had led him into an adventure he could never forget.

It was probably nothing. There were many scientific reasons for it: a man with a limp, two kids in a trenchcoat, a drunkard stumbling along the street. If Dipper reached out, if he tapped on his shoulder, he’d definitely be disappointed by the result.

It was better to go to class. He should just go to class. But—

Magic works only if you believe.

—for once, he hoped Mabel was right.

Pivoting on his heel, Dipper chased after the stranger. Maybe this summer really would be something special.

#gravity falls #mabel pines #dipper pines #fanfic #zine

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e1ectrostatic · 10 months

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i’d like to make an effort to get more involved in the fictionkin community, but the current climate of it is very confusing to me not gonna lie, particularly with the rise of the idea that a “kin” is a character you strongly relate to and nothing else

sometimes (especially on twitter) i see people claim being fictionkin has always meant just relating to the character, or having a deep connection, or even just Really Liking the character, but as far as i remember, that’s a really recent thing. like, i haven’t been too active in the fictkin community (yet), but i can’t recall that ever being a prevalent idea in years past. i’m still so used to fictionkin being a really niche concept, but now that it’s gained more popular attention on the internet, all sorts of new definitions and usages of terms have popped up

as a consequence, finding other fictionkin online has become a lot harder. these days, if i see someone say they’re kin with a character (or more commonly, they “kin a character”), i legitimately don’t know what they mean. are they like me? or would they think i’m “taking things too seriously”?

which takes me to another thing, the rise of misinformation on what it means to be fictionkin started a whole new wave of ostracizing and armchair diagnosing. i see people who are more familiar with the popular definition of fictionkinkin treat people whose experiences fit the original definition as if they’re weird or just straight up act ableist towards them. i see things like “it’s not that deep”, or “they’re taking it too far”. i even see people try to claim being fictionkin in the og way is inherently something you should seek mental help for, and i can’t really say anything about that other than what the fuck. i was used to people on the outside talking about us like that, but i definitely didn’t expect it to come from inside the house

AND LIKE i don’t wanna sound gatekeepy, not one bit. i hate it when people try to nitpick and dictate how things should be for everybody, but this shift in language is a special case because it’s now actively harder to engage with an already fringe community. i can’t think of any pros to it, plus there are and have always been other terms that could fit the “mainstream kin” experience. like otherhearted, or otherlink, or synpath, to name only a few. i’m sure anyone with common sense agrees this way of expression is completely valid and has its place in the community when done in good faith. it’s just that the rampant misinformation and misuse of terminology (not to mention the horrible toxicity) is actively pushing us out of our own spaces

anyway i dont know where to go with this, its just a little diary entry. shoutout to fellow fictionkin (or any otherkin) in the trenches, i hope someday the misinformation stops and people learn to be a little kinder

#txt #kin stuff #fictionkin #alterhuman #anyway if anyone has any advice on how to get more involved with the community that'd be welcome #fandom is fun but it can be alienating when it's the only thing you're involved in #there's just an inherent difference in how we process media. neither way is inferior or superior�� it's just a difference #this has been in my drafts for months btw. setting it free now like a little wild animal

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sylladextrous · 2 months

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pls ignore this if this is weird im sorry but i saw your post abt befriending the trans girls in your area and i wanted to ask for advice on finding said trans girls? i have a good community back home but im in my hometown for a few months and its really lonely without that community

hey! <3 not weird at all, don't worry! I would've asked the same question a year ago, so I getcha!

honestly my advice is a little niche, but for me finding local trans friends has been made immensely easier by going to local shows being played by trans bands. most, if not all, of my local friends are people I made through the local music scene, whether by meeting them at a show or by them being friends with someone I met at a show

I've actually also met some good friends through lex! to be brutally honest, lex is (at least in my area), kind of Shit, but if you're determined enough there absolutely are people worth talking to on there

aside from those, my best advice is to find where the local trans community hangs out. I don't know where your hometown is, but looking on Lex for people talking about trans events or even just googling "[hometown] trans events" can be a good starting place. if you live near-ish to parks, you can see if there's any trans picnics happening

if you're feeling REALLY bold, you can organize things yourself. make a plan for a trans event and figure out how to get the word out, either through lex so it's localized or through other social media. if your hometown is relatively large there may also be a Facebook group for local trans people, tho that's entirely dependent on how big your town is or if it's close to any major cities.

making friends and community is hard and it sucks sometimes, but it's absolutely not impossible. I have friends in the middle of fucking Nowhere in the southern US who have local trans friends. we're everywhere! and we find our own if you're out there <3

#sorry for the long post but its all worthwhile stuff imo #making friends sucks and it feels impossible sometimes but you can do it!#putting in the effort absolutely pays off in my experience #chloe.ask

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newhologram · 11 months

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In response to me saying “Cruelty and suffering are not requirements to create a strong society. ☺️” , I got these comments: but survival of the fittest and natural selection is☺️. That what life is pookie, you either blend in with society or you be “different” and get eaten alive 😘😘🥰. I used to be bullied when I was younger and for a while up until a few years ago and once I finally “gave in” and tried being normal, it changed my life. I made hella friends and connections who have helped me through life because people will accept you for being normal and when people accept you, they will boost and build you up and have your back. there is a huge difference between bulling and abuse 💀 (This commenter’s page is full of car pics. They have what is considered to be a socially acceptable interest. This is an important little detail in this conversation about “normal.”)

Pro-bullying is a very concerning worldview, because this is how people convince themselves that it’s okay to use violence of any kind on those who are different from you, simply because they are different, not because they did anything bad or hurt anyone. People who believe that “actually, bullying is a Good Thing because it makes us conform, which is Correct. Anyone who does not conform is Bad, and deserves abuse until they finally squash themselves into the mold we’ve decided is Normal.” It’s hard to understand if you’ve got any kind of grasp on empathy, or even if you don’t experience empathy but understand that differences are to be celebrated and that abusing people into hiding these harmless differences is, uh, bad? The only people I see defending bullying as some “necessary corrective action” in society are those who seem to think they turned out well and that life is great, except they really want to hurt other people for being different. Like, they’re thirsty for it. Their jaws chatter for the feeling of a slur between their teeth. They’re salivating at the thought and many can’t hold back, as evidenced by the comments I get on my “hey, bullying comes from insecure people” posts calling me ugly, stupid, weird, saying my hair is bad, my eyebrows are bad, I talk weird, I make weird faces/movements (ableism lol), my gender sucks or whatever, blah, blah. Which is strange to me because: isn’t the basis of so many belief systems, what we were taught in kindergarten is “Hey, we’re all unique and that’s by design. Be yourself! Also be kind, don’t hurt people.”

So… No, sorry. I will never agree with this stance. “Don’t be weird and you won’t get bullied”—All the things I’m labeled “weird” for are completely harmless. I’ll never be normal and that’s okay. How about just be kind to people even if they are different? Me being different isn’t hurting you or anyone else.

What people like this fail to realize is that for many of us, there is no way to ever really “pretend” to be “normal.” We will never fit in, we’ll always stand out in some way, we’ll always be who we are. If the choice is between: use all my energy to hide who I am and still get abused just so I can have fake friendships with shallow and insecure people vs Just let go and be who I am, distance from people who don’t accept me unconditionally, make friends with cool, kind people Uh, I’m gonna go with the healthier, happier option? Wtf?

What you are saying is Good/Correct is to hide anything that is different: disabilities, gender, romantic or sexual orientation, very niche interests (which is a lifeline to ND’s)

Obsessively passionate about video games and comic books? I was “not normal” for this in the 90’s and even 2000’s. Should I have conformed and been interested in, I don’t know, boybands and pencil-thin eyebrows like my peers instead, to avoid their daily torment? Would that have made me “fit” to survive the world, or perhaps is it the bullies who are in the wrong for being horrible little devils to a child who just had different interests? (No, clearly, I was the one in the wrong for daring to exist, huh?)

Sensitive to stimuli? Probably my biggest autistic struggle, compounded by unending chronic pain. So I shouldn’t self-regulate at all, because that makes me stand out as Not Normal and make me a target? Instead of, maybe people should just accept that neurodivergent people exist and that it hurts no one if I need to decompress in a dark room and wear earplugs because my nervous system overloads easy?

Ethnically mixed and hairy in places my white, blonde peers weren’t? That doesn't hurt anyone either. The bullying I got from my body’s natural state was so traumatic I started shaving my arms and legs at age 8. But it didn't stop; just the fact that I had hair to shave was another reason to bully me. I got called disgusting for being hairy, disgusting for being smooth. Conforming did nothing to stop the harm. Happen to be queer? Guess I should have “given in” and forced myself to be straight and cisgender because, what? To please whom? To appear more normal so I will get “acceptance and support” by people who would drop me if I wasn’t like them? How is the argument literally “either be exactly the same as us or we’ll hurt you! :)” solid in any way? It sounds unhinged. Not a social environment I would want to be part of at all. (Spoiler alert: As an adult I have friends and a support system of people who like me for the ways I am different and myself, and that’s actually what is life-changing. That’s real love.)

All of that was “different” enough to get me verbally and psychologically (and a few times physically) abused for over a decade in school. I did nothing wrong. I was just different.

To fit in and have a better life, I should hide all of this, because “that’s life?” What other ppl decide is normal and socially acceptable is “life”? We’re humans. We have free will. We can make the choice not to “eat people alive” just for harmless differences. There’s a reason these people try to justify it by relating to what they perceive as “mindless, empathyless” animal behavior and it isn’t good.

And to address one of their comments: Incorrect. Bullying is a form of abuse. I endured sustained, systematic attacks on my sense of self and my body by my bullies for my entire school life and even early adulthood. That is abuse. Period.

I wanted to do a proper video reply to this but I haven’t got the spoons. I might just script this into voice-to-text at some point.

#bullying #pro bullying #abuse #abuse surivor #bullying survivor #teku

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hawkogurl · 2 months

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I'll probably have more to say about this later bc I'm going to sleep soon, but I feel like, you, oliveroctavius, me, and a few other people are like the small minority I've seen anywhere who actually criticize TASM for the eugenics and ableism, and it honestly floors me that no one talks about it when it's so blatant and tumblr loves bringing up disability and ableism otherwise? Like, it's not even a case of how everyone has valid differing opinions and needs/wants when it comes to how the vast range of disabled experiences should be approached in fiction and there's nuance in how to do even tricky, but real experiences like grief and loss - we're talking about a film series where an antagonist meant to be sympathetic makes a speech about disability being a weakness of humanity that must be genetically eradicated to strengthen it (which is never deconstructed or challenged) and has no other characterization beyond sad amputee whose only interest for a decade is his missing arm, and where Peter is some kind of genetic chosen one whose Good Genes give him cool powers, and the whole mess with Harry.

The few other times on tumblr I've seen it brought up is to like, woobify (internalized) ableism even though the films go way beyond realistic personal struggle and straight into eugenics, and as someone with a Lizard niche in the Spidey fandom, I'm floored at how everywhere else, I keep seeing the TASM version of the character topping best adaptation discussions by a huge margin compared to way better takes with zero references of the ableism (this was not the case even a few years ago, idk what happened), and you can correct me on this if I'm wrong bc you would know more about the Harry side of things than me, but I feel like TASM!Harry used to be very popular and be moved, at least until MSM2017 and Insomniac came along.

Hi sorry my brother just graduated college. Anyways, in regards to the Harry side of things, I think a lot of the ableism SHOULD be pretty obvious, but apparently it’s not considering how little critical thought there is with all these villains. There’s the good genes bad genes eugenics of Harry wanting Peter’s blood to cure himself and then it doesn’t work because the spider only worked with Peter’s “good genes” (I don’t care about their in canon excuse, it still buys into this trope) and it reacted so badly with the TERMINALLY ILL CHARACTERS “bad genes” that he turned crazy and evil. And that’s ignoring my general distaste for disability or “insanity” being used primarily as a source of fear for the good, noble, and of course able bodied protagonists.

Something that’s also pretty weird that nobody mentions is the fact that like, Electro in these movies just HAD to talk to nothing. Normally it wouldn’t bother me as much or I might be willing to give it a pass, but it’s these movies, which just love to make their disdain for disabled people clear, so it comes off as super bad taste.

Like… I’m only scratching the surface. Why are there three people who consistently point out how ableist these movies are? Especially when as you said, tasm Harry is pretty popular! Ignoring my beef with him as a Harry Osborn, it’s so odd to me because so much of that is either like, sort of romanticizing his chronic illness and breakdown or getting off on that ableist insanity I mentioned earlier.

And when you bring it up, people get SUPER defensive. I don’t know if like, the amount of invalid criticism just makes people defensive or if it makes people think there’s NO valid criticism but like… these movies aren’t bad for the reasons you think. The issues they have are like… the writing saying that eugenics is cool and fun alongside generally iffy writing.

#I’m gonna tag #tasm ableism talk #for filtering #harryposting #harry osborn #peter parker #curt connors #max dillon #spider man #spiderman #tasm #tasm2 #the amazing spider man #the amazing spider man 2

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softcitrus2345 · 7 months

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Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

#softcitrus asks #clueless anon #niche blog #rambles

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falciesystemessays · 1 month

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so there's this indie game developer who's been a quiet favorite of mine for the past year. Artless Games. they're a chinese developer who specializes in puzzle games. they have a programming game called A=B about working with an esolang, pretty solid takes on The Witness and Sokoban formulas, and the absolutely ridiculous 14 Minesweeper Variants, which is my comfort game and also getting a sequel soon. this developer is really good at making rock-solid puzzle games with good ideas and great execution. if you are interested in puzzle game design at all, and especially if any of these concepts interest you, i highly recommend you check out their work.

The hitch is, of course, the lack of an artstyle. You could call it minimalist, but the name "Artless Games" shows a full awareness that there's a presentational lack in these games. I kind of admire it, honestly, because these games do stand up without the need for visual flair. And as an indie designer who tends to be pretty limited on assets, I deeply respect a game that shows how you don't need those to make an amazing game.

...But it's not that simple, is it?

A few months ago I went to the yearly Game Developers Conference in San Francisco. I learned a lot there, met a good few people, and started to really rethink how I approach gamedev. The thing to understand about GDC talks is that they are incidentally about making good games. The real focus is on how to be successful in the game industry. This often does mean making better games, but it's just as much about confronting how making a good game isn't always enough.

Enter Lenophie, an aggressively French game designer who gave my most anticipated talk, 'Bunburrows': How to Break Out of the Puzzle Niche. She speaks to the fact that, despite puzzle games being very popular among indie developers, it's a pretty small niche in terms of players. To make a profitable indie puzzle game, you have to appeal outside of that niche to players looking for other things. In Lenophie's words, "We treated being a puzzle game like something we had to compensate for." It means not relying on mechanics alone as a selling point. It means giving your game a unique style, or even a story. And it means swallowing your pride as a puzzle game designer and giving players hints, or even letting them skip puzzles. It's not enough to make a good puzzle game, she says. You have to make a good game with puzzles in it.

I came out of that talk feeling like the future of puzzle games was just laid out before me. And I was excited. I'm still excited! The idea of puzzle games extending past their current niche status is a really cool one, to me. But it puts me in a weird spot thinking about Artless again. On some level, I have a deep respect for a game like 14 Minesweeper Variants, a game with even less interesting visuals than normal Minesweeper, for standing on its own as a puzzle game. It was a game built just for me. I think it's really important that games like this exist, that game developers can make a game with a sharp focus that knows its audience and appeals to it fully. But the reality of gamedev as a business complicates matters. I hope every developer working in the puzzle space finds their answer. I hope I find mine. And I hope you, whatever rising star developer is reading this, find your balance.

#also the gdc vault is currently completely down at time of posting due to an sql error so if it's still a problem in a day tell me #game design #puzzle games #pâquerette #pâquerette down the bunburrows #bunburrows #minesweeper #14 minesweeper variants

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ursa-tan · 11 months

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Hi! This might be a very niche but I was wondering if you could do a

Wally x reader, 🍑, consensual soul eating where he either fucks us during it, or it turns into a type of invisible/soul sex

(And if you didn't know: soul eating is where Wally eats with his eyes and feeds off of our emotions/energy, but it's like a kind of a weird sleep paralysis out of body experience for the person he's feeding off of, I've seen people also use the concept for kissing and more)

I'll show you

Wally Darling x Masc!Reader

Word count: 4,221 Reading time: ~16 mins

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted anon! I know it went a little off-request, but I hope you're still satisfied with it! Please let me know if you can!

Upon joining the neighbourhood, you were under the impression that you were the only one that would eat. Being the only human in a village of sentient puppets, the assumption made sense. In fact, the first time you say a puppet eat you were convinced it was some sort of joke set up by Barnaby to get you to embarrass yourself by asking questions. It wasn’t until said humorous puppet ask why you were staring at Sally so weirdly while she was eating that you realised that these puppets actually do eat.

You spent the next few weeks tallying up the number of times you saw each puppet eat. Well, you tried to at least, before you gave up. It became apparent pretty quickly that all of them ate on pretty much the same schedule as you, even if you didn’t see it happen. Sally would often tell you about how strict her diet is as a performer, Poppy offering you things she had baked, and Eddie talking about being a fool for skipping breakfast because he woke up late. Sufficient to say, the puppets ate, just like you did.

What struck you as strange though was that you had never seen Wally eat. Not once. He held food, stared at it, carried it around, yet he never seemed to eat it. Not even when Julie and Frank took the time to put a picnic together. He just held an apple in his hands the entire time, staring at it occasionally, but never eating it.

“It’s strange,” You mumble to yourself, breaking apart a chocolate bar and placing a square in your mouth. Your eyes are fixed on Wally, who’s currently engaged in conversation with Eddie and – once again – holding an apple that you know he isn’t going to eat.

“What’s strange, Kiddo?” Barnaby, one of your closest friends since joining the neighbourhood, asks. He’s standing next to you, doing nothing in particular.

“Hm? Oh, just the fact that I’ve never seen Wally eat. I mean, I’ve seen him holding food plenty of times, but I’ve never seen him eat it.” You don’t take your eyes off the smaller puppet – almost like you’re afraid that if you blink, the apple might disappear and you’ll seem crazy. You nearly spit out your chocolate when Barnaby next speaks.

“Yeah, that’s cuz he doesn’t eat,” he chuckles, placing a massive paw on your head and ruffling your hair, making a mess of it.

You push Barnaby’s hand off your head but don’t let go of it, knowing that he’ll put it straight back if you do. Staring at him in confusion, you wait for him to continue. When, after a few seconds, he stays silent, you know that you’re going to have to ask questions to get answers.

“He doesn’t eat? Like, at all?” You keep Barnaby’s arm in your grasp, looking up at him with a curiosity that needs to be satisfied.

“No, he eats,” Barnaby looks down at you, chuckling at the way you’re looking at him, “Just not like the rest of us, that’s all.”

“Not like the rest of us? What does that mean? How does he eat? Does he need to eat then? What would-“You don’t get to finish your barrage of questions as Barnaby uses his other hand to silence you, placing his massive paw right in your face. In much the same way that a cat would if you got too close.

“Slow down with the questions there, Kiddo!” Barnaby chuckles, holding his paw against your face for a second before removing it.

“I just-“ You’re once again interrupted by a paw to the face.

“Just tell me you’re done.” He slowly removes the paw from your face, as if expecting to have to silence you a third time.

“Ok, ok, I’m done. I’ll stop with the questions.” To say you’re disappointed is an understatement, you’re brimming with questions that you’re absolutely desperate to ask. It seems like Barnaby can tell.

“Why don’t you ask the man himself?” He gestures towards Wally, who’s still obliviously chattering away with Eddie, “You know he likes you, he wouldn’t say no if you asked politely.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s Wally, he’s my best friend, I know him like the back of my paw,” Barnaby holds up his free paw, looking at the back of it proudly for a moment. That moment doesn’t last long, however, as he takes any opportunity he can to crack a joke, “Huh, never noticed that spot before.”

You can’t help but giggle at his antics, finally freeing his other hand as you do. He takes the opportunity to ruffle your hair again, just making more of a mess as you hadn’t had a chance to fix it last time.

“Off you go then.” Barnaby makes a shooing motion, pushing you lightly towards Wally. No plan, no time to come up with one, no help from the comedian, it’s all up to you. You aren’t even entirely sure what you’re supposed to do.

You find yourself stressing slightly as you approach Wally and Eddie. You hope that you can just slip into the conversation, and ask Eddie how his day has been. But you don’t get that chance, because just before you get there, Eddie says goodbye and walks away. Now it’s just you and Wally.

“Oh, hello neighbour,” Wally smiles up at you, his eyes droopy and half-lidded as always. He’s still holding that goddamn apple.

“Oh, uh, hi Wally, you, uh.” You find yourself attempting feebly to stumble your way through a complete sentence. Wally’s eyes don’t leave you for a second. He’s staring straight into your eyes, almost like he’s trying to stare straight into your soul.

“Are you ok neighbour?” He’s looking at you with that cat smile. It’s so relaxed and yet you feel so tense.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” You mumble, reaching up to pick at your arms slightly, flaking off an old scab that you never gave time to heal, “Just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight? Maybe I can come round yours and we can have dinner?” You can feel his eyes leave you as you ask this question, but the nerves keep a tight grip on your neck and you can’t find it in yourself to look at him to find out why.

“Sounds delightful, neighbour.” The apple is gone. You look down at him when he speaks and the apple is gone. He hasn’t dropped it or stuffed it in his pockets. It’s just gone.

“Right, right… I’ll come round at about… 7?”

“yes, 7,” Wally nods, smiling and waving at you, “I’ll see you later neighbour.”

You wave at him as he walks away, watching him walk over to Julie’s before knocking on the door and waiting for her to let him in. Once he disappears, you turn back to Barnaby, looking at him with a quizzical expression.

“What’s up, kid?” He chuckles, looking at you as you find your place back at his side.

“He… Did you see what he did what that apple?”

“No clue, I was more focused on how awkward you looked,” he chuckles, reaching out to ruffle your hair for a third time. You swat him away before you get a chance.

“Seriously, did you see anything? Anything at all? It can’t have just disappeared!” You sound exacerbated, desperate for answers.

“Maybe he ate it,” Barnaby chuckles, pulling his pipe out and placing it in his mouth.

“I thought you said-“

“You should ask him about it, you’ll have him all to yourself tonight.” He lets out a puff of swirling iridescent smoke. You know that you aren’t going to get any more answers out of him. He’s being belligerent on purpose, something you know that he’s grown to enjoy when talking to you. Said it’s something about how you look funny when you’re frustrated.

Instead of trying – and ultimately failing – to wrangle more information out of Barnaby, you decide to head home. It’s not a long walk, but it gives you time to think. The main question on your mind for the next few hours is how you’re going to bring up the topic of how he eats.

You’re so consumed by the question that you don’t even realise how quickly the time passes. Before you know it, it's 6:30 and getting kinda dark outside. You know if you don’t get ready now, you’ll be late and it’ll be dark by the time you get there.

You choose to put on a nice pair of black trousers and a colourful cardigan – something you think Wally might like. You also gather up some simple snacks, the kind of things you’d want someone to bring to yours if they were going to come over. Once you’re sure that you’ve gathered everything you think you’re going to need, you set out towards Home.

Wally is opening the door before you even knock on it, wearing something much more comfortable than his usual outfit. His hair is down and he’s wearing a light pink robe that he seems to have purposefully pulled off his shoulders.

“Neighbour, you’re early,” He smiles up at you, eyes half-lidded as he holds a hand out, “Come in, please.”

“O-Oh, ok!” You shift the bag you were holding so that you can take his hand, allowing him to pull you into the house. His hand is surprisingly warm in yours, soft against your palm and small enough that you could crush it with ease if you wanted to.

“What would you like to do, neighbour?” He stops and looks up at you once he’s brought you to his living room. The main light has been turned off and replaced by the presence of a lamp. There are already a few different snacks laid out on the coffee table – you notice that he’s got your favourite. You aren’t sure if he got it on purpose or if he just already had it, maybe you can be nosy and ask Howdy when he brought it later on.

“I don’t mind…” You mumble, realising you hadn’t prepared for anything other than asking Wally how he ate.

“Would you like to make something? Maybe we can paint together,” He’s still holding your hand while he speaks, “Or we could just talk?” He’s looking up at you with something in his eyes that you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Talking sounds nice.” You smile, sitting uncomfortably on his sofa. The sofa itself is quite comfortable, but you perch yourself on the edge.

Wally doesn’t say anything, instead just coming to sit next to you. He presses himself against you, his head resting on your shoulder to the best of his ability.

“Wally, can I ask you a question?” It feels far too serious to say that, but you also feel like you might implode if you just outright ask the question that’s been on your mind for so long.

“Of course, neighbour.” He slimes up at you, moving to intertwine his hand with yours.

“I’ve noticed that you uh… I don’t… I haven’t…” You look down at his hand, and the way it holds yours, fits so perfectly has you struggling to speak, “ You… How do you eat?” Eventually, you manage to just spit it out and ask him. He doesn’t react like you would expect him to. You expected him to look up at you with that lazy, half-lidded gaze that he always had. Instead, he jumps in his seat slightly and continues to stare straight forwards.

“Well, neighbour, it’s hard to explain,” He chuckles lightly, finally moving to look up at you. His pupils are restricted, small and not looking into your own but rather focusing on your lips, “ It would be easier to show you.”

“Show me then.” You know you sound way too excited, it's probably a little off-putting.

“You have to promise not to… React badly, neighbour,” He mumbles, letting go of your hand and shuffling away from you.

“I promise.” You have to force your voice out, feeling the excitement bubble up inside you.

“Stay still.” Wally stands up, moving until he’s in front of you and can rest his hands on your thighs, just above your knees.

“O… Ok?” The excitement subsides, confusion taking its place. His hands move slightly, shifting up to rest about midway up your thighs.

Before you get a chance to ask a question, Wally is climbing into your lap and situating himself until he’s pressed as close to you as he can get. You try and ignore the way that he’s sitting directly over your crotch, or how his hands are now resting on your chest.

“Open your eyes for me,” His hands come up to cup your face, holding your head still with a surprising amount of strength, “Don’t move.”

“Wally I don’t understand why this is necessary-“

“I’m going to show you how I eat, stay still and open your eyes.” His fingers dig into your cheeks, almost painfully holding you in place. You just close your mouth and nod as best you can, deciding that you don’t want to face whatever emotion Wally was just feeling.

His pupils blow wide, almost completely consuming his eyes. You can barely see the whites of his eyes in just the corners. It’s almost scary as he stares into your own.

Suddenly, something starts to envelop your mind. A fogginess that you can’t seem to shake off no matter how much you try. Wally continues to stare into your eyes, his own almost completely black and entirely unmoving. The fog begins to numb your limps, starting in your lower legs and tingling as it leaks into your thighs. Pins and needles seep into your fingertips, crawling up your arms in a warm sensation that leaves you unable to feel anything. You try to speak, but you can’t even open your mouth. Your lips are sealed shut, leaving you unable to do anything but let out a soft whimper.

“Don’t worry,” Wally speaks, hands moving to rest on your shoulders. You don’t move your head – you can’t move your head. “This is supposed to happen.”

You try and open your mouth again, attempting to ask him what this is. Yet, no matter how hard you try, you can’t get your jaw to move. The only thing you can do is whimper pathetically, unsure of what he wants from you.

Soon enough, you realise that you can’t move your eyes either. Unlike when you experience sleep paralysis, you can’t move your eyes at all. The only thing you can focus on is Wally’s charcoal eyes, blown so wide that you feel like you’re going to fall in.

“Just relax, you wanted to see how I eat, didn’t you?” Wally shifts forwards slightly, pressing himself further against you, managing to lightly grind himself on you, “ If you want me to stop, all you have to do is close your eyes.”

With those words, you realise you can move your eyelids. While your vision is focused on those deep pools of black in front of you, your eyelids begin to twitch and flicker. You don’t feel the need to blink, your eyes aren’t dry or irritated. And, despite the fear of being unable to move… You can feel something in your mind telling you to let this continue.

“Good… Please relax neighbour, I promise this won’t hurt.” You can barely see that he’s smiling as he speaks. His hands move to run over your chest, splaying his hands out over the top of your shirt, wrinkling the material slightly and causing it to lift slightly and show your lower stomach.

A sense of pleasure starts to take over, the pins and needles like tingling becoming a warm, dripping sensation. It starts in your fingertips, slowly trickling upwards, moving like honey in thick, sticky rivulets. The feeling leaks into your chest, pooling warmth right above your heart that’s spread further and further with every beat, being spread through your veins. Soon enough, your entire body is enveloped with the tingling euphoria.

“I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, neighbour,” Wally mumbles, his usual, sleepy voice breaking you out of your focus, “You always were smart…”

You whimper in response to his statement. You hadn’t figured it out, you hadn’t figured anything out. All you know is that you feel amazing and that you can feel Wally’s ass pressing against your slowly hardening cock.

“You haven’t?” He seems surprised to ask this question, almost as if he really did think you understand what’s going on, “Should I explain then, neighbour?”

You let out another soft whimper, no longer caring about what’s happening. You’re losing yourself to the sensations, to the way his soft body feels pressed against yours.

“I eat with my eyes,” He starts, still staring deeply into your own, “But I can’t just eat food, it’s not enough… I need something more substantial, something bigger… Which is where you come in. I just need to take a little from you, some energy, I guess you could say.”

There’s nothing you can do as Wally continues to stare into your eyes, still smiling slightly, eyes still blown so incredibly wide. You wouldn’t stop him even if you could. You have plenty of energy to share if he was telling the truth about that. It doesn’t matter really, the feeling of warmth throughout your body and your slowly growing erection made you desperate for more.

“It seems you’re enjoying this neighbour… Maybe I should give you a little something in return.” Wally seems to be thinking out loud, wondering about what he should do for you.

It doesn’t take a second for him to begin slowly rocking his hips. His ass is pressed against your cock, slowly grinding into it, causing your erection to grow more and more with each passing second. The way he rocks his hips causes you to groan, eyelids flickering slightly but never once blocking Wally’s view of your eyes.

The puppet's hands trail downwards, eventually reaching your lower stomach. Slowly, he inches one hand under your shirt, touching your skin in soft, barely-there circles that cause your muscles to twitch involuntarily. He pauses his movements when he feels your muscles quiver under his fingers, seemingly cherishing the movements before continuing his ministrations. Wally manages to get your muscles to tremble again, many times.

The hand that isn’t under your shirt moves down to your belt buckle, undoing it with practised ease and quickly pulling it from your belt loops. Wally tosses it over his shoulder, letting it clatter to the floor somewhere behind him that you can’t see. His eyes never leave yours, not once.

Next thing you know, the puppet is popping your trouser button open with one hand, unzipping the zip as well. You groan again, only this time it’s out of disappointment, as Wally has shifted backwards and off you’re your painfully hard cock so he can shuffle your trousers down. The fabric bunches up around your mid-thighs, giving Wally space to sit on your crotch again, now only with your boxers in the way.

You want to buck your hips upwards, thrust yourself into his small body, and maybe even get the chance to hold him down and fuck him. But you still can’t move, so everything is left up to Wally. He knows this. You know he knows you know.

He removes his hand from underneath your shirt, shifting his small body backwards to leave your thinly veiled cock exposed to him again. He places one of his hands over you, palming you softly through your boxers, applying just enough pressure to make you feel something so delicious that you want more. It’s not long before he’s pulling your boxers down, freeing your cock and allowing it to spring up and hit the stomach of your shirt. It leaves a small, dark patch where you’re already leaking precum.

Wally begins to focus on undoing his trousers now, popping the button and somehow managing to pull them off within seconds – all without breaking eye contact. He gets his boxers off as well, throwing them somewhere behind him, probably letting them join your previously discarded belt.

Despite being unable to move your body yourself, your lips part seamlessly when two of Wally's fingers press against them. It allows him to slide the digits inside your mouth, pressing the pads of his fingers into your tongue. You can feel you're saliva coating his fingers, making them slick. You want to curl your tongue up and against him, wrap it around the fingers in your mouth, allowing you to suck on them lightly.

Slowly, Wally pulls his fingers from your mouth. Thin strands of your saliva connect your lips to his fingers, glistening in the light and drawing your attention for just a moment - even if you can only see them in your peripherals.

You aren't entirely sure what he's going to do with his now slick fingers until he reaches backwards. Wally's hands slip behind him, begging to slowly tease and dip into his tight hole. You can just about feel the way his hips shudder as he begins to finger himself, slipping both of his now-slicked fingers into his ass.

Your cock twitches as he lets out a soft moan, hips bucking backwards a little. He's fucking himself on his fingers, thighs starting to tremble slightly as he continues. The way he moves makes you want nothing more than to have him, the feeling is a burning lust in your chest that drives you mad.

Eventually, Wally stops pleasuring himself and pulls his fingers out, moving his previously busy hand round to his front. You think he's going to touch you, until he begins to stroke his cock in long, languid movements. The fact that he isn't touching you is driving you crazy, your cock is aching and you're desperate for his touch, but he won't give it to you.

Until, that is, Wally shifts slightly forwards. He uses the hand that isn't stroking his cock to lightly grip yours, lining it up with his tight hole. You can feel your leaking cock press against him, meeting a small amount of resistance as he begins to lower himself down onto you. You can feel yourself sliding in slowly, your saliva making it easy for him to push himself down.

Wally bounces gently as he pushes himself down further, pulling up slightly to be able to slip more of you inside of him. After a few soft, subtle bounces, he reaches your base, leaving you fully hilted inside him.

The combination of the thick, honey-like pleasure and the tightness of Wally's tight hole around your cock has your mind beginning to fog. You know you aren't going to last long, not like this. Especially as the head of your cock presses into his soft, gummy walls. Wally's surprisingly warm body squeezes around you, tightening more than you thought it could.

Slowly, he begins to rock his hips again. The soft rocking progresses into a bouncing motion, causing Wally's soft inner to glide along your cock, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

The pleasure starts to overwhelm you. Everything that's happening is getting too much, the thick, tingling pleasure, the rolling waves of euphoria, it's pushing you towards climax. You're desperate to orgasm, to finish and fill the small puppet sitting in front of you.

Soon, the growing, building pleasure becomes too much. Your orgasm comes crashing over you, muscles twitching, your mind flooding with pleasure. You can feel yourself cum, waves of complete euphoria rolling over you as you.

Wally doesn't stop bouncing as you reach your peak, seeking his finish. The sensation of his soft walls becomes too much, overstimulating your now sensitive cock. You can feel your eyes tearing up, although you don't dare to blink. He clamps around you, body stilling and thighs trembling as he orgasms. Hot, sticky ropes of cum shoot out and ruin not only your shirt but also his cardigan.

A few seconds pass, Wally practically panting, before he finally breaks eye contact. Immediately you feel as if there is nothing left of you. Your eyes are sore and your body is tired from what just occurred - but your mind is also foggy.

Wally doesn't bother speaking or even getting up, instead just leaning forwards and cuddling into you. His head nuzzles into your neck, cock still hilted inside of him. You don't want to move either, still enjoying the feeling of him. So instead, you opt to wrap your arms around the puppet and hold him close, almost immediately falling asleep.

#fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #nsft fanfic #playfellowxxx #male x male #no use of y/n #wally calls reader “neighbour”#human reader #mentioned sally starlet #mentioned eddie dear #mentioned poppy partridge #barnaby b beagle #soul eating

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dailyadventureprompts · 2 years

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I just discovered your blog and I love it a lot! You have such a rich understanding of dnd and a lot of creativity! I was wondering if you could do a monsters reimagined on illithids/mindflayers? They are so iconic and I love them, I think a good idea for them is to keep the weird hivemind and brain eating and psionics, but ditch the tadpole concept. I would also just like to know how they came to be as they are right now, like. How did we get here?? Thanks!!

Monsters Reimagined: Mindflayers

The illithid have been a popular ask for reimaginings but It's taken me a while to get around to them in part because unlike a lot of the other features on monsters reimagined, their lore/execution within the game doesn't rest on a specific problematic trope or inconsistent storytelling. Mindflayers as they stand IMO are one of d&d's great villains, and if anything suffer from being too successful to the point of overexposure.

It took the asker remarking on how much they liked mindflayers for me to give them the onceover they really deserved. Yes, they worked great as antagonists ( being irredeemable slavers who violate the minds and bodies of those they subjugate, working inevitably towards the most awful ends), but their villany was born out of the same shallow bioessentialism as “always evil” orcs,IE inherent to their character. I’m a firm believer in the idea that if something is capable of making decisions, it’s capable of deciding not to be a bastard, so If I was going to overhaul the illithid, I’d need to get to the roots of why the squid headed bastards were the way they were.

TLDR: What we know today as the mindflayers are in fact the remnants of a long dead world, with many of their most monstrous qualities being bioengineered attempts to stave off the inevitable and hold onto their power. The “Elder brains” which rule the illithid are tyrants, the ultimate class parasites, who indoctrinate and mentally dominate the other mindflayers into acting as tools of domination over the peoples they consider chattel. Is possible for an individual illithid to break free of this system, but doing so is difficult, as it requires them to not only break out of any magical compulsion, but to abandon the paradigms that have defined their existence.

Spoiler alert: we’re going to be talking about white supremacy in this one

I think someone described it pretty succinctly that alien invasion stories are something that industrial nations invented when they started imagining what would happen if a more advanced people came along and started doing to them what they’d be doing to everyone else in the world. Mindflayers (and a few other aberrations) fill that niche in oldschool d&d, with the low levels made up of the feudal heroes largely picking on “uninteligent” tribal brutes, only to hit level 7 or so where all of a sudden they’re fighting creatures who’s intelligence exceeds their own.

The weird thing is how in the alien invasion stories, the aliens always want to enslave humanity.. Despite imagining the technology required to cross the vastness of space, the authors were unable to conceive of a world outside of the hierarchies of exploitation, even in the case of benign colonization like “day the earth stood still” and “childhood’s end”.

I’ve talked before about how d&d has a lot of baked-in tropes that assumes colonialism and racial supremicy as a default, but today we’re going to look at things form the other angle. Namely: can we use the mindflayers to talk about systems of oppression and how they manipulate us into being complacent tools with colonialism and genocide.

First though, a detour on illithid biology/feeding, and how I’ve tried to make it make sense:

In addition to a mostly vestigal digestive system, mindflayers possess adaptations that allow them to turn psychic energy into health and wellbeing, with their feeding being something like running a magnet over a computer screen except that the screen is a brain. This can be done delicately so as to case no long term damage, but sometimes it’s faster to just shuck the brain out and be done with it.

On their homeworld, the illithid cultivated a form of “thinking fungus” that draws in stray thought energy from the astral sea, the stray equivalent of radio static. This fungus grows around many mindflayer settlements and is one of the dead giveaways that they’ve moved into the region.

The goal of every illithid is to prove themselves so at the end of their life (or sooner) they can join with the elderbrain, a grotesque amalgamation of all the most bastardly awful mindflayer’s brains that lives in a big tank in the center of their settlements ( or pilots their spelljammer ships) and mentally influences everything in a 5 mile radius. The elder brain creates a reinforcing social pressure: if you’re not doing everything you can to serve it, you’ll be culled, and if you don’t do your absolute best ( or if the elderbrain is just feeling cruel) your whole life will be for nothing. These brains are not a natural part of the illithid lifecycle, and are instead more equivalent to liches: influential mindflayers that learned that they could force others of their kind to tribute psionic energy through thier bonds, extending their life long beyond where their bodies can keep up. By ensuring that only those most useful join the gesthalt, the original ego ensures that no other personality is capable of overtaking their own.

Every so often in their life, mindflayers reproduce by regurgitating a load of parasitic tadpoles into the elderbrain pool where the weak ones get to be its snacks, and the strong ones get implanted into the skulls of promising candidates who’s brains are eaten as they’re transformed into new midnflayers. All of this is super squick, but what’s almost nonsensical is the fact that left to their own devices the tadpoles grow up into colossal, borderline feral worm monsters, meaning that in their natural state no one would be around to put the tadpoles in anyone’s heads. I rationalize this as the result of extensive biomancy augmentations that occured in the illithid’s development, a “cure” for the sterility imposed by their dying world and a handy means of population control/indoctrination for the elder brain, who’s able to etch the basics of its own personality onto each tadpole as it prepares to take a host.

And here we’ll bring the two ideas together, about how illithid can help represent white supremacy: Like all imperialist or autocratic systems, the society of the mindflayers is self reinforcing, creating a population of desperate individuals and using their desperation to turn them into a tool to benefit those at the system’s top. Every illithid is not only born with the elderbrain’s world view as the foundation of its mind, the society in which it is raised is set up so that the only metric of growth or success is being useful to the elder brain, with any deviancy from expectation ( incluging over ambition) are dealt with harshly to the point of execution.

An indivual illithid could break free, but that would require a depth of personal examination is frowned upon in mindflayer circles, as well as the acceptance that there is a way to live outside the elderbrain’s guidance without going hungry and devouring their own sapience like the pale and wretched creatures that outsiders call “illithid vampires”

Much like racism,misogyny, imperialism, capitalism and fascism, the society of mindflayers creates a desperate population that are convinced that the only way to be is to be in a particular way that ends up benefiting those at the very top. Breaking free takes a tremendous amount of bravery, and a willingness to alienate yourself from all you thought familiar and true in the process.

Art

#Illithid #villian #monsters reimagined #spelljammer #Slavers #heavy topics #scifi #dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #5e #dm advice #dm tip #dm tips #dm tools #writing advice #psionics

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