#and a 3rd that is yet to be named. this is also all still subject to change but thats where we are rn

[bet-on-me-13]

Captive AU

So, the GIW has been around for a while.

Ghosts have been a problem for centuries, the US Government wouldn't have waited until the 21st Century to figure out a way to deal with them, so the GIW has been around for years. And the general Public knows about them, it's a common household name like the FBI or the CIA. They are simply seen as another government organization doing its job, no need to care about the Ghosts they capture, they're Non-Sentient anyways.

Over the years of their existence, they have acquired their own little prison full of Ghosts. And among that collection of Ghosts, 4 stand out.

Because they are somehow Ghost-Human Hybrids.

The first was captured a while before the others. A College Student studying Ectology had been admitted to the Hospital after a Lab Accident, where he had been diagnosed with an, as of yet, unknown and incurable Disease. He had Green Boils popping up all over his Face, and he was in excruciating Pain.

The GIW had sent a team to investigate, and they had found that the College Student was slowly transforming into some type of abomination. He was still partially human, but he was also partially a Ghost. They had him declared Dead and shipped him off to a Blacksite Facility to be experimented on.

...

The Second One came about 10 years later. Coincidentally, it was very similar circumstances. The very same pair of scientists who had been acquainted with their previous subject had just admitted their 5 Yr old son into a local Hospital. He had been in a Lab Accident that had stopped his Heart for a few minutes, and out of curiosity the GIW had sent a Team to investigate.

And what did they find, but a perfect recreation of their favorite Test Subject.

They declared the Child Dead, and sent him off to the same Facility they kept the other one in.

...

The 3rd of the Hybrids was actually created in a GIW Lab, 3 Years Later. In an experiment to see if the Hybrids condition could be recreated, a GIW Scientist had taken the DNA of the 2 existing Hybrids and had cloned them.

Of the Test Batch of 15, only 1 Subject survived. It was deemed only a Partial Success, because while they did manage to create a New Hybrid, it was Unstable and prone to melting if overexerted.

They placed it in the same Containment Unit as the other 2, and left it at that. No more Cloning Experiments had been conducted afterwards since the project was deemed an overall Failure.

...

The 4th and Final Hybrid was found in Gotham City of all places, 2 years later.

A GIW Operative had been visiting Family when their Van's Ecto-Detector had gone off. Soon after that they found the Subject in an Alleyway, seemingly disoriented from its recent awakening.

DNA testing had revealed the Hybrid to be deceased Jason Peter Todd, the adopted Son of Bruce Wayne who had been killed 6 Months Prior while studying in Ethiopia. By the Scientists Best Guess, an Anomoly in Space-Time had caused a Natural Portal to open right on top of the Teenagers Corpse, fusing his Deceased Body and nearly formed Ghost into One.

They shipped the Teen off to the Blacksite, and placed him in the same Containment Unit as the others.

...

So now the GIW have 4 Hybrids, all created from different circumstances, all different ages.

One was formed from the Slow Death of a College Age Student, after a Lab Accident had flooded his system with Pure Ectoplasm.

One was form from the Instant Death of a 5 yr old Boy, after a Lab Accident had flooded his Body with a dimensions worth of Ectoplasm.

One was created in a GIW Lab in a Cloning Experiment. She was created to be 3 Yrs Old upon Birth, and was Unstable as a Result.

One was created from the Fusion of a Long Dead Teenage Corpse and a nearly formed Ghost, in a random Space Time Event that forced both together.

...

All the Halfas are basically a Family together. Vlad is the oldest, at around 35, and takes the Paternal Role.

Danny and Ellie are the Kids, and are 10 and 5 respectively.

Jason is the Oldest Child, and takes his Older Brother role very seriously. He is 15 when he is brought in.

They all take care of eachother, through all the experiments and tests the GIW force them through.

One of the most common experiments is to have them battle the other Ghosts in Captivity. Although that is just a thinly veiled dog fighting ring that the GIW scientists like to Bet on. Sometimes they are put up against eachother, but they refuse to fight until they are electrocuted into submission.

They were also forced to Push all of their Powers to their Limits every day, just so the Scientist can see how they are growing. This had drained them, since they only got the absolute minimum amount of Ecto to survive off of, and they were forced to use it all up every day.

This goes on for 3 more years.

...

Until the day when the GIW messed up.

During one of their Constant Dog Fights, they had made the mistake of putting two Electricity Core Ghosts against eachother. The resulting battle had created an Electromagnetic Wave that fried all systems in the entire Facility.

It was a Disaster. Dozens of Scientists were killed when the Door Locks failed to contain the captive Ghosts, and even more were injured when a few of the Ghosts managed to break into the Armory on Base.

It was only hours after the whole ordeal was Finally quelled that they realized that their most Valuable Test Subjects were missing.

Vlad, Danny, Jason, and Ellie had taken the chance to run away during the commotion. Vlad had unfortunately been injured during the escape, and Ellie had been forced to use her powers causing her to destabilize a little, but all in all they had managed to escape on one piece.

But now they were fugitives on the run from the Government, with an injured adult and a sick child.

Jason had an Idea though. While he didn't have very clear memories of his life, a side effect of his late resurrection, he did remember that he used to live in Gotham. And they all remember researchers grumbling about how their scanners always malfunction when they passed nearby Gotham.

So, Jason led his little Family to the most Familiar place in the city he could think of.

Crime Alley.

[calits-now-ontheside]

Analysis of the EGO Pink Shoes – Hong Lu – Between Loss of Will and Manifestation of Desire

It's been a while since I wanted to analyse all the EGOs of Hong Lu and I finaly found some time while not being able to draw. I know it has already been done numerous time and I may or may not bring anything new but it is always so fun to analyse all these little details.

So let's start with Roseate Desire:

Roseate Desire is the name of the E.G.O linked to the Abnormality Pink Shoes, which is also related to the Abnormality Red Shoes.

Shared with: Ishmael

Cost: 4 Lust and 2 Envy

I’d like to begin this analysis by quoting a sentence from @sunshades from their analysis of Ishmaël that perfectly encapsulates the intention behind this EGO and immediately reveals the themes running through it:

“It’s more about a loss of your free will and being controlled by an external force.”

Summary:

Origin of the EGO: Pink Shoes and Red Shoes

Pink Shoes: A Parasitic Abnormality

Hong Lu: Between Puppet and Puppeteer

What if Hong Lu wanted to be in control?

Lust & Envy: Revealing Sins

I/ Origin of the EGO: Pink Shoes and Red Shoes

This EGO is drawn from an abnormality derived from Red Shoes, known for amplifying the desires and obsessions of those who wear them. It is therefore relevant to start by analyzing Red Shoes and Pink Shoes together in order to better understand how they function.

These two abnormalities share a central theme: control through desire. They possess the power to enslave the individual through their own cravings.

One of the first visible signs of this control manifests through a pinkish glow in the host’s eyes.

In Lobotomy Corporation, this glow in the eyes of Red Shoes’ hosts indicates that the individual is about to confess their deepest desires to the abnormality.

In Pink Shoes, this glow seems permanent. This could indicate that the desire here is more constant, diffuse, less sudden but more invasive.

Why this difference? Perhaps because lust and desire are more similar in their slow consumption than aggressiveness, which erupts with force.

Indeed, Red Shoes manifests desire through aggressiveness, while Pink Shoes manifests it through lust — if we look at their Sin Affinity. (Have to thanks @firestorm09890's post for helpin me seeing clearer on the subject)

Thus, even if both abnormalities play on desire, they express it in different ways:

Red Shoes = Desire → Violence

Pink Shoes = Desire → Seduction, pleasure, subjugation

A telling example is the employee from Lobotomy Corp who, frustrated by unrequited love, becomes violent under the influence of Red Shoes. Here, even though the base theme is love, it’s the expression of desire through anger that is central, because that’s the nature of Red Shoes.

Conversely, with Pink Shoes, it is through almost sensual and suggestive visual elements (ribbons, poses, implicit BDSM codes) and through a feeling of pleasure that desires are manifested, as seen with Hong Lu and Ishmael.

II/ Pink Shoes: A Parasitic Abnormality

1rst Quick Thought: For me—and for many others, if not everyone—E.G.O and Sinners must share a certain kind of resonance. The Sinner (often unconsciously, I think) recognizes a part of themselves in the Abnormality, and the Abnormality, in turn, reflects that part back. It’s this shared element that enables the manifestation of the E.G.O and allows a bond to form between them. However, that shared aspect doesn't have to be the same for every Sinner. After all, an Abnormality can embody multiple themes or ideas simultaneously.

2nd Quick Thought: Still from my point of view, the initial (non-overclocked) use of an Abnormality E.G.O is more closely tied to the Sinner. At that stage, the Abnormality is still held in check, and its history or consciousness doesn’t yet deeply influence the Sinner’s psyche and behaviour. The lines spoken and the visual elements (sprites, etc.) in this phase seem to be more reflective of the Sinner’s own self rather than of the Abnormality

3rd Quick Note: In contrast, the overclocked state clearly allows the Abnormality to exert more influence—taking up more mental and symbolic space within the Sinner. Its psyche begins to seep into the Sinner, even if it remains loosely aligned with their theme or the shared connection between them. That’s why I’m a bit hesitant to interpret overclocked E.G.O lines as being direct expressions of a Sinner’s personal thoughts. To me, these moments are more about the Abnormality expressing itself through the Sinner’s identity, or more precisely, through that shared facet between them.

Last Quick Thought: That being said, even if it’s mostly the Abnormality speaking in this state, the themes or ideas being voiced and in some cases their sprites are still worth paying attention to when analyzing a Sinner—because that idea might be exactly what enabled their bond to form in the first place.

However, for this particular E.G.O, you’ll see that the corrosion may actually be more closely linked to the Sinner than usual.

Now let’s focus on Pink Shoes alone.

With this EGO, the two characters who embody it express variations of the same theme:

Hong Lu: lack of control, loss of free will

Ishmael: obsessive desire, absolute control of desire over will

What is interesting is that the employes reanimated by Pink shoes -- Pink Shoes Enchantee and Pink Shoes Possesse -- seems to represent the 2 aspects of Pink Shoes -- being possessed and being enchanted. And it seems that this is the same thing for Ishmael, representing the enchanting side and Hong Lu representing the possessing side of the abnormality.

Another notable fact: Pink Shoes seems to be the only EGO whose corroded form is represented in its main art. This could indicate that it's worth focusing more on that form than on the base one. Observing the corroded forms of Hong Lu and Ishmael, we note:

The corrosion from Pink Shoes is less violent and “encompassing” than that of other abnormalities. Even Red Shoes expresses its personality more than Pink Shoes does.

It is more intimate, more personal — it doesn’t manifest the will of the abnormality, but that of the host’s desire. What corrodes the host is their desire pushed to the extreme and how it manages to take control.

I would say that in a way, Pink Shoes is not an autonomous, conscious, or imperious abnormality. It acts like a parasite that lives and spreads through the desires of the host. It has no will of its own beyond its instinct to spread, like mold or a fungus. Pink Shoes has only one desire — that of spreading itself and its ribbons through others’ desires.

Thus, corrosion here can be interpreted as the external manifestation of a deeply repressed inner desire, taking control of its host.

Is the corrosion the host’s extreme desire possessing them?

The image of the pink ribbon invading the host’s body is central. It evokes both:

Constraint (bindings, bondage)

Manipulation (puppet strings)

And this idea of the puppet is especially predominant with Hong Lu, more than with Ishmael.

III/ Hong Lu: Between Puppet and Puppeteer

Hong Lu, in his idle sprite, stands like a limp puppet, hanging and waiting to be set in motion. The ribbons trail on the ground, like strings ready to be pulled.

All of this suggests a person being manipulated to satisfy others’ desires.

Even the EGO art shows Hong Lu suspended, vulnerable, dependent on the ribbon — and therefore on an external will.

But what’s even more striking: in his corroded form, his mouth is covered by a pink ribbon.

This means he doesn’t even have the right to speak, not even to express a personal desire. He is instrumentalized, stripped of any personal will.

With Ishmael, it’s the eye that is covered. She can only see her obsessive desire, represented by Pink Shoes.

Her will for vengeance is strong — but ends up consumed by the pleasure and desire distilled by Pink Shoes. She then becomes the agent of propagation for this abnormality, bound to its ribbons, as we see in her corroded form, where she now speaks of charming and wrapping up. Which is Pink Shoes’ primary desire.

Whereas, Hong Lu's desire expressed in its corroded version (so its strongest version) has taking over his mouth so by preventing him from expressing himself and by instrumentalizing him and reducing him to nothing more than a puppet to be manipulated.

And yes, the theme of being others' puppent, deprived of self is a main theme for Hong Lu.

But is that really all there is to it?

IV/ What if Hong Lu wanted to be in control?

One intriguing detail: his weapon is not his usual one. Here, he wears two pairs of gloves. Why, when Ishmael has kept the same weapon shape?

If we follow the puppet theme… gloves are hands that manipulate. What if these gloves were the expression of a deep and unconscious desire from Hong Lu?

What if, despite his apparent passivity in the face of his lack of autonomy, his true desire was to be in control (of himself) — even if that means controlling what controls him?

He would then become the puppeteer of his own puppet. A disturbing mise en abyme:

Unable to see himself as the one in control of his choices, he is forced to separate his desire and place it as his own puppeteer in order to make decisions for himself. Hong Lu cannot act without being someone’s puppet / being told what to do — and even if his desire is to be in control, he can only do so by being his own puppeteer.

Hong Lu is manipulated by Pink Shoes but uses the gloves to manipulate in turn. Pink Shoes makes Hong Lu into the puppeteer, becoming the puppeteer of his own body — a tragic paradox between submission and illusory control.

Maybe we can even link this idea to this diaologue:

What reinforces this idea is that during his corrosion attack, threads appear, connected to Hong Lu at his various joints. These threads pull Hong Lu’s target… but he himself remains pulled by Pink Shoes. He is both author and tool, master and slave.

And even in his non-corroded state, Hong Lu already speaks of “Tie you just enough,” which for me can have two meanings:

Hong Lu, even by giving himself the role of puppeteer of his own body, is still not truly in control since he is already following someone else’s will — that of Pink Shoes, whose will is to bind people with her ribbons. After all, his regular and corroded attack animations are very similar, which might suggest that from the beginning, when desire is involved, Hong Lu is unable to manifest one stronger than the desire to fulfill others’ wishes.

As it has always been the case for him, Hong Lu controls and manipulates by applying just enough pressure / constraint for it to seem natural. This control is just enough to feel normal, but also not enough to be questioned. Maybe that's supposed to be a hint to the way Hong Lu is controlled.

V/ Lust & Envy: Revealing Sins

Lastly, a quick note on the Sins required to activate the Pink Shoes EGOs, which are revealing:

Hong Lu: Lust & Envy

Ishmael: Lust & Wrath

Lust is shared by both Ishmael and Hong Lu, which makes sense since that is how desires manifest through Pink Shoes.

Indeed in this case, lust is, I think, only referring to Pink Shoes' will to spread and that can be confirmed by Hohenheim's definition of the sins:

"The meaning of Peccatulum Luxuriae, 'Lust', is not exactly what it says on the tin. A more illustrative description would say that it is... ah, yes. An obsession to spread a fragment of what forms the self."

Since Pink Shoes manifest through lust, I don't think that in this case it refers to the sinners. The abnormality clearly want to spread a fragment (the ribbons) of what form its self (the shoes).

So, that being say we have to look at the other sin, that is from where the deep desire is taken from and from which the shoes are goind to feed themselves and implify.

Where Hong Lu requires Envy, Ishmael requires Wrath.

Because Ishmael’s deep desire — her desire for vengeance — was born from her anger and her will to destroy Ahab.

But why Envy for Hong Lu? Two possible explanations in my view:

Because his desire was born from others’ envy to control his life

Or because deep down — and I like to believe this — even if it’s repressed and unconscious, one of Hong Lu’s deepest desires is to be in control, even of himself. Dare I even say he envies Pink Shoes for being able to control him? Maybe it’s an extrapolation, and yet I wonder — why not?

Perhaps it’s an extrapolation. Or perhaps not. After all, isn’t it one of the most human things: to desire that which dominates us, just so we no longer feel lost?

Unfortunately, I didn't really dwell on Hong Lu's eye during this post because I thinkt it will be more interesting to do a post about everytime the jade was active, but that will be for another time!

[astrobiscuits]

Predicting your future children's personalities and gender using Childress (30117) persona chart

Kind of a part 2 of my last post

According to derivate astrology (only for Childress persona chart):

1st house - personality of 1st child

5th house - personality of 2nd child

10th house - personality of 3rd child

12th house - personality of last child (not related to derivate astrology, but still worth mentioning)

[Don't forget to check the ruling planets of the houses for more details about your future child!!]

Determining the gender of a child works the following way (not taking into consideration modern planets):

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of boys (or masculine girls): Aries, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of girls (or feminine boys): Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Pisces

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of androgynous child: Gemini (50%-50%), Virgo (leaning into feminine), Aquarius (leaning into masculine)

We are going to use 2 examples to further explain this method of predicting children

This is Meghan Markle's Childress persona chart

Her 1st house ruler is Saturn, which indicates that her first child is likely to be a boy. Saturn is retrograde in 9th house, which means that he's likely to implement old, abandoned customs of his family in his life (including returning to the Royal family). Additionally, Mars is on the cusp between 8th house and 9th house, which indicate themes of agression & selfishness to be strong in his personality. Meghan's firstborn is a boy named Archie, with Saturn conjuncting his MC and Sun conjuncting his ASC in his Natal Chart.

Her 5th house ruler is Mercury, which indicates that her second child is likely to have an androgynous personality. Mercury is situated in 5th house under the beams of Gemini Sun. This indicates that while her second child has the tendency to express itself as more masculine, it will be overshadowed by his older sibling, as this child's personality is quite weak and not as remarcable. Meghan's secondborn is a girl named Lilibet and she's a Gemini Sun and Aries Moon (so more masculine), but her Moon is in her 8th house, which is an uncomfortable position for the Moon, as it can't express itself that well. Her Moon is also conjuncting Chiron.

While both siblings seem to have a common ground (both of their ruling planets are in air signs), their planets don't aspect each other. They are similar, yet they likely won't have a close relationship. Meghan's firstborn has a stellium in 9th house (which is located in the upper half of the chart, traditionally ruled by the Sun), while her second born has only Mercury and Sun in 5th house (which are located in the lower half of the chart, traditionally ruled by the Moon). This means that Archie will likely lead a public life, full of intense events, while Lilibet will likely lead a private life, full of important events, but not as intense.

This is my mom's Childress persona chart

Her 1st house ruler is Mars, which indicates that her first child is likely to be a boy. Mars is located in 3rd house, conjuncting IC. This means that her firstborn is likely to attend a unique school or be interested in studying an unique subject, which will change the "bloodline" so to speak. I'm a Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon (so heavy masculine energy), and Uranus is one of my most dominant planets. My parents sent me to a school where all the subjects where taught in German, despite living in a completely different country (and a small town too!). When i was in high school, i discovered my passion for astrology. Neither of my parents are interested in astrology; i inherited this passion from my grandmother (Aquarius is traditionally ruled by Saturn, which is the planets of elders).

Her 5th house ruler is Jupiter (ruler of Pisces), which indicates that her second child is likely to be a girl. Jupiter is located in 11th house, conjuncting Saturn. This means that her secondborn is likely to have a black-and-white kinda personality. Sometimes they might overindulge when using technology, hanging out with friends or doing charity work/volunteering, other times they might abstain from it. My younger sibling is a boy, but he has a Pisces stellium in 12th house (Uranus is also part of his stellium). He's been playing video games for hours on end since he was very young and he still does it even now (Saturn indicates longevity too). He loves new technologies, but also old ones.

While Mars and Saturn are in both air signs and air houses, they are trining each other too. This means that me and my sibling are very similar, while we also have a close relationship (which is true). Saturn person is more likely to be the glue in this connection, while Mars person is more likely to mind their own business, but they will pay attention to Saturn person when they seek him out. My brother initiates convos with me waay more often than i do with him, but i love listening to him. When i initiate convos with him, it's more on a whim.

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

Info Post

Moodboards

Part I

Prev Part < - > Next Part

Contains/TW: omg lesbians guess what?? WE MADE IT Y’ALL!! this chapter WILL BE NSFW and you should know the drill by now but STILL- MINORS DNI! you are FINALLY getting smut… glorious beautiful wlw lesbian sex 🙏 it IS millie’s first time however she is not infantilized or completely clueless about sex and i’m trying to not make her overly innocent as well. this chapter will also contain some texts in the beginning/smau type shit, brief discussions of self harm/scars, anxiety/panic attacks, and a good old fashioned menty b! also some brief 3rd person/ellie pov at the end of this?? anywaaaaays… hope you enjoy! <3

WC: 5.9k i was a yapper in this soz 😭

Part VII

false god

I was still shaking as I clicked my phone off and peered at my reflection in the mirror. Vi’s shirt was way oversized, the sleeves easily hitting my elbow and the edge easily brushing my mid thigh. Ultimately, I was still mostly covered and I think I would’ve been okay with it. If it weren’t for the fact that she hadn’t seen all the scars yet.

“Ummm… hey Vi?” I questioned, cracking open the door just a mere inch. “D-Do you have a jacket or-?”

“Are you still cold?” She wondered, eyebrows furrowing as I saw her approaching the door. “I turned the heat up for you before we came in, can you not feel it yet?”

“Well, I mean- I can it’s just…” My voice shook as I seemed to trip over every word, barely even able to string them together. But thankfully I didn’t have to do much before I felt her hand slipping around my wrist, and the tiniest instinctive flinch I felt myself do was very telling.

“Baby, you don’t have to hide those in front of me, alright?” Her thumb just barely brushed over the scarred skin as I felt the door to the bathroom naturally swinging open, tracing over the individual lines that were slowly fading yet still clear and raised ever so slightly. “You’ll talk to me first if you ever wanna do this again, right? Or it doesn’t even have to be me… me or Ellie or Caitlyn or Jinx or- literally anyone-“

“Violet, I promise.” I spoke, feeling like her full name would add some sort of strength to it. The stronger a promise the more of a reason I would have to not break it. “I- I promise. I-I haven’t even done it in like a month. There was an incident over the summer after I got out of the hospital but Ellie caught me and hasn’t let me be alone with sharp objects since so… her and Caitlyn definitely have precautions.”

Vi let out a heavy breath and nodded, she didn’t want to linger on the subject or pry but I could tell it scared her. And I hated it. How I even managed to scare somebody like Vi. “I just… I really really- really care about you, Mills.” She spoke, stuttering over her own words like she wanted to choose different ones. Nevertheless though she didn’t bounce back to change them or anything. She just simply placed her hands on the side of my face as she pulled me in to place a firm kiss to my forehead. “I know you don’t need it,” She spoke next, arms slipping around me to pull me back into her. Her arms always feeling like such a safe space now, soft but tight all the same. The way she would hold my head against her chest every single time. It felt like a war could be raging on outside and as long as I was here, wrapped up in her arms, I would be safe. “But I just have this overwhelming urge to want to protect you. You’ve been through enough and I just… I want you to finally not have to worry about any of that shit while you’re here. I- I want you to be happy.”

“I am though.” I stated with softened eyes as I peered upwards at her, lifting a hand to softly lay against her cheek. A curious thumb drifting outwards to trace around her light scattering of freckles across her nose. “I am happy. With you. Right now.”

A light smile tugged on her lips, my heart almost feeling like it was skipping in my chest as I felt her hands sliding around my waist once more. “Promise?” She questioned, closing the already small gap between us as she pressed me to her body. And I caught myself hoping she couldn’t feel my racing heart beneath my ribs.

“Promise.” I felt breathless as I stood up to my tiptoes to place my lips to hers. All of the air sweeping out of my lungs as I encircled my arms around her shoulders, Vi always meeting each kiss with equal or more enthusiasm. And each kiss feeling more and more like the first one all over again. Though this one was stronger. Fiercer. Deeper.

“Are you sure you want this?” She seemed to breathe into me as I felt her hands drifting lower, already bringing up that same frustrated ache in between my legs that had only seemed to fester.

I nodded, barely able to choke out a ‘please’ before her arms encircled around my thighs and she lifted my legs to hoist around her waist with ease. “Vi-“ I stammered out with instinctive nerves as my arms tightened for dear life around her shoulders.

“Shhh, I’ve got you. I won’t drop you.” She whispered in a soothing voice before connecting her lips back to mine. Fingers brushing along my bare thighs almost causing me to whimper before she pressed me to her unmade bed where she crawled over top of me with ease. Her hips fit so effortlessly in between my spread legs finally drawing the softest moan from my lips at even the lightest friction. “Hey,” She halted, gentle eyes peering downwards at me as my trembling hands gripped her shoulders for dear life. “Tell me if you want me to stop, okay? At any point.”

I gulped an anxious lump down my throat with a nod, almost feeling like my thighs were only tightening around her waist at the uncontrollable ache that seemed to form in my lower abdomen. Our bodies almost seemed to mold together as her hard muscles pressed into my own, flexing around me nearly causing me to let out a breathy moan all over again. Her hands gripping my hips and holding them to the mattress below. “You’ve never been touched before?” She whispered against my lips, the statement causing me to tense up in response. Vi’s expression softened, laying a delicate hand against my cheek as her eyes never left mine for a second, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

I brought an anxious hand up to my lips as if to latch on to one of my nails again as I shook my head in response. “Have you ever touched yourself before?” Another shake of my head as I slipped my nail in between my teeth, cheeks red with embarrassment as I prepared for the absolute worse. Insecurity almost rivaling the unbridled want that seemed to course through every inch of my body. What if she didn’t want this or me? She was so experienced so why on earth would she want me for anything that lasted more than a night? “Hey… Hey, doll, it’s okay.” I heard her soft voice once more, a warm hand brushing underneath my cheekbone just before a small tear could stream down it. “That doesn’t change anything. If you still want this… just tell me. Talk to me.”

The only thing I could hear was the thumping of my heart, the heavy breaths still pushing through my lungs as she stroked my cheek. Her eyes didn’t leave mine for one second, as if searching for any hint of an answer. “I’m just… I-I’m just really scared.” I blew out a long sigh from my tight lungs, leaning into her bruised hand that had never seemed so delicate before. “But I want this- I-I really do I- I want it to be with you.”

“You promise?” She whispered, pressing her forehead to mine as her thumb softly brushed underneath my eyes. “Swear to me?”

“I promise, Vi, on everything, I promise.” I muttered just as I let my arms slip back around her shoulders, answering by pressing my lips to hers once more. I almost whimpered the moment she pressed me back to the bed, her hips slotting perfectly in between my own spread legs. Her hands toying with the hem of my shirt as if asking for silent permission.

My body shivered as I gulped an anxious lump down my throat and nodded. Her eyes were soft as she gingerly lifted the fabric from over my head. On instinct I lifted my quivering hands upwards to my chest as if to cover them until I felt Vi’s careful hands slipping around my wrists. “Let me see you, baby.” She whispered, slowly pulling them away, more silent asks for permission. Giving me the ability to change my mind if I wanted to. But somehow I never wanted to. “So… goddamn… beautiful.” She murmured as her eyes seemed to scan down my body with the look of someone who had never seen the female body before.

“Fuck, doll, you’re way too good for me, you know that?” She spoke with a half smile and a shake of her head before reaching for the back of her wife beater to yank it over her body. I don’t know what I was expecting to be fair, I knew she worked hard on her physique. I could’ve gotten lost just tracing the curves of her muscular arms, her biceps, the darkened lines of her tattoos. But to actually see the entirety of her body, it almost left me choking. The toned markers of her ab muscles and pectoral muscles, the way her back tattoo peeked out from behind her broad shoulders giving way to her hourglass figure. And were those two distinct silver bars poked through her nipples? Her body looked like a work of art itself. Carved and sculpted by only the most talented individuals.

“Ummm, I-I don’t know I- I think you might be too good for me.” I stammered with widened eyes just as I saw her lips lift in a smirk.

“Nah, I think you’re fucking perfect.” She muttered underneath her breath before pressing her bare body to mine as she caught my lips on her own. A soft moan broke through in between kisses, the cool metal of her piercings causing my back to arch against her. Seeking even more of her out as our lips seemed to mold together in a perfect sync. The ache in between my legs only spiraled towards unbearable as my hips bucked upwards, desperate for contact.

Vi let out a low chuckle against my lips before letting her own trail back towards my neck. “Patience, pretty girl, you know I’ll take care of you.” She murmured as I felt the expanse of her hand wrapping around my thigh to give it a faint squeeze.

“It hurts.” I spoke through a quiet whimper, squeezing my arms around her shoulders.

“I know… I know I’ve made you wait too long tonight just hold out for a little bit longer, okay? I wanna savor this.” She whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my pulse point before letting them slowly drift lower. Inching towards my collarbone, down my chest, each kiss I swear making that ache in between my legs get stronger and stronger while my breathing grew heavier and heavier by the moment.

Her lips wrapped around one of my perked out nipples, my jaw dropping with a sharp gasp as she ran her tongue around the sensitive area and her hands worked their way down my squirming body. “Can I, doll?” She whispered, lightly tugging at the flimsy pair of underwear still attached to my body. The only piece of clothing still attached to my body.

“Please… please, Violet.” I answered, finally giving up on my attempt not to beg. But her hand was so close. Carefully slipping it underneath the fragile fabric, a heavy moan spilling from my lips at the overwhelming pleasure that finally hit all at once as she brushed a calloused finger against my clit. My nails sunk into her back as I clutched onto her for dear life, “Vi-”

“You’re so sensitive, princess, I barely even touched you.” She whispered, her hot breath against my sensitive breasts causing my chest to arch against her. “You’re soaked too, doll, is all this for me?” I whined in need, probably nodding like a fucking bobblehead as another hand slipped downwards to delicately caress my hip bone, “You wanna let go of me so I can go down on you, baby?”

My arms seemed to squeeze even tighter around her broad shoulders, barely noticing how I had burrowed my face into the crook of her neck. I was terrified to let go of her, even though it felt like a throbbing wet mess in between my thighs. Even though I needed her so bad… so desperately… so intensely I wasn’t even sure what to do with myself. “I’ll still be right here baby, I’m not going anywhere and if you wanna stop you just tell me, okay?”

“Okay.” I finally let out through a long and airy breath with a nod. “Okay.”

“Atta girl.” Her praise brought about another soft moan as she let her lips trail back down my body, immediately causing me to spring upwards onto my elbows with a loud whimper once they reached my lower stomach. Vi’s expression shifted into a more stern one as she lifted her arm once more to wrap her hand around my chin and press me back towards the bed. Gentle, but still firm all the same. “No, you lay back and relax. Let me take care of you.”

“Okay… o-okay.” I said through the same shaky breaths as she inched the now probably soaked underwear down my legs. All hints of nerves seemed to be replaced with need the moment I felt her soft lips brushing along my inner thighs, her hot breath dancing along my core right where I needed her the most. “Violet.” My hips bucked upwards, a shivering hand stretching downwards as if begging for her to take it.

“Shhh, I’m right here.” Vi whispered, lacing her fingers through mine with a tiny squeeze as she placed a line of kisses up my thighs.

My jaw fell open with a cry of pleasure though as I finally felt the warmth of her tongue running upwards through my wet slit. Lapping at my folds I could already feel a sense of euphoria creeping through me as she sent the vibrations of a moan through my body. “Fuck doll, you taste so fucking good. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get enough of you.”

Her hand reached for my thigh, wrapping her arm around the circumference to hoist it over her shoulder with ease. A gasp slid from my throat as she pressed her face closer to my core, parting my continuously slick folds with her tongue, mouth seeming to envelop the entirety of my cunt. My moans grew louder, heavier, my hand practically squeezing the life out of hers at her breath on my clit. Soon replaced by the soft tip of her nose nudging it ever so slightly, with the utmost gentleness like she didn’t want to work me up so quickly. However we were already long past that.

“Vi…” I whimpered, a cry of pleasure sounding from my lips at the stimulation to the sensitive area. My hips bucked almost painfully, rolling against her face almost looking like it was causing her eyes to roll back.

“Good girl.” She whispered, the praise covering me in goosebumps as my leg curled around her head. “Keep moving your hips like that, doll.” My hands tangled into sheets below, back arching all over again as her tongue seemed to move in sync with my hips. A sea of pleasure that made my own eyes roll back. My jaw fell open all over, desperate and erotic moans seeming to take over the entirety of my breaths.

The moment I felt her tongue curling around my clit I nearly shot up once more, massaging the bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure. Just enough to make me see stars but not enough to rush through it. This wasn’t a matter of her seeing how quickly she could make me finish. This was a matter of her wanting to savor it, take her time, as long as she possibly could. “Vi… V-Violet- oh Violet.” I could barely recognize myself, speaking her name like I knew no other word as she ran a torturously long lick around the circumference of the sensitive bundle of nerves right through my wet folds. A motion that seemed to hit every sweet spot, like she didn’t want to leave an inch of me untouched, untasted. “J-Just like that- o-oh my- just like that, p-please don’t stop.”

“Feels good, baby? Right there?” She whispered, the vibrations of her voice nearly driving me up the wall before diving back in. Increasing the pressure with each lap through, I swear I squeezed her hand so tightly I almost thought it was hurting her. But she didn’t seem to mind, just kept running her thumb along my knuckles in a soothing motion.

“R-Right there… right there… o-oh fuck- Vi!” I practically squealed at the vibrations of her own moans, her soft lips running along my clit that throbbed in pleasure. Another cry of euphoria bursting through my lips as she flattened her tongue against the swollen bundle. Lapping at my center as if she was starving, dying of thirst even.

Closer and closer she drew me towards the edge, my breathing quickening as the pressure in my lower stomach seemed to build to heights I almost couldn’t handle. “Violet… Vi- I- I think I’m gonna cum.” I could barely get the words out at the sensations, the heavy build-up that made tears burn at my eyes.

“Let go for me, baby, just let go. I’m right here.” The high felt neverending, hitting me like a shattered dam as my eyes rolled back for the millionth time. My body felt like it was encased entirely in goosebumps, leaving me nearly breathless. Vi worked me through every bit of it though, lapping up every bit of the mess like it was the sweetest nectar she had ever tasted.

The moans turned into sobs not long afterwards, the pleasure reduced to a racing heart as my entire body seemed to shake in the aftermath. “V-Vi?” I stammered through her name, like my brain had almost completely forgotten she was there until she was right in front of me. Hands cupping the sides of my face, soft powder blue eyes coming into view as she smoothed out my messy hair, strands probably soaked in sweat.

“Right here, doll, I’m right here.” She whispered, her voice a soothing symphony over the roar within my head, and I caught myself curling my trembling hands around her shoulders as if in some attempt to ground myself. I burrowed my face into the crook of her neck while the white noise of her shushes slowly drowned out the feeling of my racing heart. She didn’t pull away until the shaking stopped, soft thumbs stroking my cheeks as she wiped away every bit of the tears.

“You still with me, princess?” She whispered, the softest hand of all time gently curling around my chin and pulling me to face her.

“I- y-yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” I said through a long and heavy breath, almost trying to match them up with Vi’s, making it just the tiniest bit easier to catch my own. “I’m sorry I- I should’ve anticipated that that was gonna happen. Th-That was amazing a-and I don’t want you to feel like it wasn’t-”

“Baby girl, you don’t have anything to apologize for. And you don’t have to explain yourself to me, okay?” She said with a shake of her head, brushing scarred lips against my temple. The weight of her body felt like a warm blanket, a soothing embrace as I wrapped tight arms around her broad shoulders, probably clinging to her like a damn koala. “Do you need me to get you anything, princess? Something to eat maybe? I live with a fuck ton of jocks but I’m sure I could find something you like.”

“I… like you.” I murmured, cheeks as red as roses as I let my pointer finger gently trace along the curve of her jaw.

“Doll, I know, you already have me though. What else can I get you?” She chuckled lightly, pressing her lips to my forehead this time. Sweet little delicate kisses that only made my smile grow. I had definitely thought about what I’d be into during sex, but never really put a ton of thought into what I’d want during aftercare. I guess I always assumed I’d probably be high maintenance due to sensory overload and so on… but with Vi, I found that in a lot of ways her arms were enough. Still, I didn’t want her to think I was too clingy.

“Do you by any chance have a weighted blanket? And can you tie my hair back… maybe?” I questioned, nervously chewing on my bottom lip and hoping it wasn’t too much. Vi only cracked another small smile as she nodded.

“Yeah, I think I can do that, and I’ll see if we have one.”

Moments later after a few more forehead kisses and cleaning myself up in the bathroom, she was gently running a brush through my long hair as my eyelids fluttered with exhaustion. She of course wasn’t very well-versed in hair care. Not in the way that Caitlyn would always braid it in different intricate styles whenever we were growing up and Ellie even being surprisingly good at it whenever we were in the psychiatric program over the summer. I didn’t mind though. It was soothing, feeling her take her time running the brush through the long strands, getting all the knots out.

“Is this your love language? Letting people play with your hair?” She finally spoke up after a moment of comfortable silence.

The corners of my lips quirked upwards in a little chuckle as I felt her twisting the thick strands into a loose ponytail, though I wouldn’t have minded letting her run her fingers through it for a fair bit longer. I guess that answered her question. “Caitlyn started it I guess you could say. I’ve always liked my long hair and felt really pretty with it so I never wanted to cut it short but… sometimes having it down would just make it so much easier for me to get overstimulated. And my parents never had time to, well, do a ton of nurturing stuff like do their daughter’s hair so- Caitlyn learned how. I swear almost every day from year 5 onwards she would do my hair every day before school. She had like a dozen different girls asking her to braid theirs at some point too for like, school dances and formals and stuff.”

I rambled on, my cheeks only heating in response as I fiddled around with the edge of Vi’s shirt that I had slipped back on. “Sorry- i-if I talk about her too much, I know she’s sort of your ex, she’s just- she’s like my best friend, you know?”

“She’s hardly my ex.” Vi almost snickered with a shake of her head. “And I get it, she’s a big part of your life… and in all honesty I can’t blame her for being at least a little bit wary about, you know,” She took in a deep breath as she lounged back against her bed, arms stretching upwards to rest her hands behind her head. A moment of hesitation passing, as if she was afraid to say the words. “Us.”

Something felt like it was blooming in my chest as she said those words. A deep flush creeping back up into my cheeks that I ultimately tried to ignore as I cautiously moved to lay next to her. “How come?” I wondered, curling up onto my side as I watched her eyes sweep over to meet mine.

“You really wanna see the good in everybody, don’t you, doll?” She questioned, the dodge of the question causing my chest to tighten for a brief moment.

“Not always.” I muttered with a tiny shrug, “I’ve found that humans are vastly complicated beings. They’re rarely entirely evil, and even then… we rarely actually think we’re entirely evil, and then whenever we do- it’s rarely true.”

“You sure you’re not a philosophy major?” She questioned with a lifted brow, a tiny giggle breaking through my lips as I let myself inch closer to her warmth.

“Definitely not, but I am an english lit major which is… kind of the same thing.” I suggested with another shy shrug as I curled up to her side, immediately feeling her muscular arm sliding around my shoulders to pull me into her chest. Surprisingly soft, those same damn pheromones drawing my eyes shut as I draped my other arm around her body.

I barely even noticed it at first, my fingers accidentally brushing against the lines of a few slightly raised scars etched onto her side. Though I almost jumped whenever I heard Vi’s breath hitch and her hand wrap around my wrist to pull it from the area, instead letting it settle against her chest. “I-I’m sorry.” I stammered, shoulders tucking inwards in an instinctual wince.

“No, it’s okay, doll… it’s just a sensitive spot, you didn’t know.” Her hand loosened on my wrist at the reaction, brushing a soft thumb along my knuckles as she did so. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” She added with a slightly guilty sigh as she lifted my hand upwards to brush her lips to my knuckles next.

“I feel like-” I began, cautiously tossing the words around in my head as I rested my cheek back on her chest. Weighing them in my head, still approaching each interaction with caution. Because I was raised in an environment where asking questions was seen as an act of defiance. “You know everything about me but I don’t know anything about you.”

“You know everything that matters.” She spoke with a sigh that almost sounded exasperated, brushing her fingers underneath my chin to tilt my head upwards to meet her eyes. Still gentle, still careful, but firm in her stance nonetheless. “I’ll tell you more eventually, okay doll? But for now I really need you to get some rest, alright? I’ll be here whenever you wake up.”

I caught my bottom lip in between my teeth, fighting back my stubborn and anxious protests with a nod. “Promise?” I muttered, finally drawing another tiny smile from her lips, nearly causing me to sigh in relief at the sight. She isn’t angry, she isn’t angry at you. You’re fine.

“I promise.” She answered, brushing a soft pair of lips against my forehead before I could snuggle back into her chest.

I almost wished I could say sleep came more difficult that night, in a new environment wrapped up in the arms of someone who clearly wasn’t just a friend. I wished I could’ve said that so I could convince myself I wasn’t falling too hard too impossibly fast. But it came so easy… and I was clearly well and truly past the point of just falling.

~

The empty locker room after the break of dawn was usually the best place to breakdown in private. Especially with Jinx being a known snooper, Ellie being a known introvert, and Jinx also not being the best person to wake up without landing yourself a black eye. And in Ellie’s defense, it’s not like she could sleep. So she had originally drug herself to the 24-hour gym attached to the hockey rink first to blow off some steam which later… of course- resulted in her breaking down where she was today. Her face buried into her knees, sketchbook open in front of her and headphones latched over top of her head playing music that absolutely was not going to make her feel better.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried to this extent. Certainly not while she had been here, and if she had she couldn’t remember. But this wasn’t a cry she could easily forget. It was one that made her entire head ache, and even more so the space behind her red eyes. The type of cry that you could feel in your chest, a crushing ache that almost made you think your heart was actually physically breaking.

It was ultimately a selfish reason to cry, brought on by her own co-dependency. And maybe partially a feeling she wasn’t quite ready to admit yet.

The feeling of someone tugging at her headphones nearly made her jump out of skin. Probably letting out a supremely embarrassing squeal as she dropped them around her neck. “Geez? Crying alone in the locker room? Not even the lounge? You must be on some serious self-deprecating shit.”

“Jesus Abby! A warning would’ve been nice!” Ellie huffed as she immediately dug at her eyes with the heels of her hands in some attempt to hopefully dry it all up before she could make a fool of herself even more than she already had.

“I said your name like 5 times and snapped in front of your face. This was a last ditch effort.” Abby said with a shake of her head before whirling around to face her locker. “You look like shit, what’s up with you? Boy trouble? Girl trouble? Whatever you’re into trouble?”

“Definitely not boy trouble.” Ellie whispered, bringing out her phone to pause the song still raging in her headphones.

“I figured but- didn’t wanna assume.” Abby said with a shrug, already setting to work with undoing her lock as she shrugged the oversized backpack from her shoulders. “So… girl trouble then?”

“Why are you acting like you care?” A slight crack crept into Ellie’s voice as she peered over at her, and she hated herself for it.

“Oh… I don’t- don’t flatter yourself. Sometimes that’s easier though… talking about it with somebody who doesn’t care.” Abby added casually as she began to unpack, shooting another nonchalant look Ellie’s way with another simple shrug. “Up to you. You can of course let it fester if you want, seem like an expert at doing that anyways.”

“I don’t let things fester I- not anymore. I just can’t talk to people about this.”

“You mean you can’t talk to Amelia about this.” It wasn’t even phased as a question because she already knew. Ellie was easier to read than she liked to let on. In fact whenever she was in the hospital one of the first things she was called out for was her ‘resting sad face’. Whenever it was blotchy and tear-stained it probably didn’t make it any better.

“She would hate me.” She muttered to herself, not even knowing why she was even talking to Abby about this. But regardless she was. “I would blindside her… right whenever she’s finally happy. Right whenever she’s finally making connections with somebody who isn’t me. I can’t- I can’t do that to her. I would look so fucking selfish!”

“My god, you’re such an opposite of a piece of shit it drives me crazy.” Abby huffed as she dropped the remainder of her backpack load in the locker before whipping around to face her. “Do you hear yourself right now? You’re bawling your eyes out to Taylor Swift alone in a locker room at 6:30 in the morning, currently spilling your guts out to your bully instead of any of your actual friends because you’re worried about how your pain affects other people. Do you not realize how ridiculous that sounds, Williams?”

“Because I don’t want my pain to be the cause of other people’s pain because I don’t know how to control it, Abby! I’ve spent 20 years of my life being a piece of shit and not being able to control myself and you wanna know how the universe responded? By giving me a fucking gun!” Her voice cracked as she flew up to her feet, eyes burning and blurring with incessant tears and fury chipping away at every single bit of sanity she had worked so hard to finally develop. “I can’t- I- I’m sorry. I-I should go.” She sniffled, lifting a shaking hand as she quickly shoved the sketchbook back into her backpack. She barely could understand the words that came out of her own mouth, the tremble seeming to take over her entire body.

Fuck, what had happened to her? She was unstoppable in the army, her gun like an extension of her hand. And there she was, the youngest person in her platoon yet simultaneously the best shot her lieutenant had seen in a while. But now, here she was, breaking down alone in a locker room, overtaken by the shakes.

She had become so weak. So defenseless. So everything she promised herself she’d never be.

“It’s a shame.” Abby spoke up with a carefree sigh and a shrug, “We were finally starting to get somewhere.”

“Listen, Abby-” Ellie huffed as she hoisted her backpack onto her back before whirling around to face her once more. “I know you think you have me all figured out but respectfully, you really don’t, okay? Wh-Whatever version of me you created in your head… she just isn’t real. I-I’m not a good person, Abby.”

“So ask yourself, is my version of you the one that isn’t real or is it the version of you that you had no choice but to be?” She took a step closer, Ellie’s breath almost hitching in her throat the second she had to tilt her head upwards to meet her eyes. It was only a few inches of a difference, three minuscule tiny inches, but lord did it feel like so much more than that. Her broad frame that felt like it could’ve covered Ellie’s entire figure.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Ellie stammered, arms slipping around herself in a makeshift hug or a shield either one. She didn’t know which one she needed more. “You throw my face into the ice one day and get your shit rocked by Vi trying to defend Amelia’s honor and now you’re talking me down in the locker rooms the next? D-Did she seriously have that much of an impact on you?”

“Vi’s a pretty good mediator believe it or not. She’s not just a dumb jock who only thinks with her fists.” Abby added, taking a step backwards only to start unbuttoning her many layers to protect herself from the cold. And Ellie couldn’t help but to gulp a dry lump down her throat the moment Abby finally stood in not much other than a simple grey wife-beater. Just in time for Abby to glance her way and catch her eye. “Are you just here to ogle now or-”

“In your dreams, Anderson.” She scoffed, quickly turning away from her to grab her half-drank water bottle. “I’m not into ‘roided out mascs.”

“Your blush says differently but go off, Williams.” Abby stated, eyes briefly giving Ellie a once over which only causing her cheeks to burn even more.

“That’s only because it’s cold.” Ellie brushed off, a hand flying upwards to her face as if in some attempt to wipe away the flush. “Anyways umm, I-I should go. Thanks for the pep talk… I think.”

“Oh you absolutely should thank me for the pep talk. Will I see you at training later?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Ellie forced out, almost wincing as she pulled herself from the locker room. Not letting out the frustrated groan she was currently feeling until she was completely out of the building.

A/N: i’m so sorry it’s taking me longer to pump these out 😭 mental health has not been killing it lately but i’m still trying hard to put out good content i just might need a bit of a break occasionally 😅 regardless though i have so much fun shit planned for this story so i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! also… brief hint of ellabs at the end?? thoughts?? 😌

Credits: main divider by @saradika-graphics mdni divider by @adornedwithlight 🤎

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[lilithlounge]

Persephone: The Queen of the Underworld in Astrology 🌸 UPDATED

I remember the first time I noticed Persephone showing up in my chart, right around a period where I felt split in two. On the outside, I was holding it all together. On the inside, I was going through a slow, private rebirth I didn’t know how to name yet. That’s when I started looking into asteroid Persephone and suddenly something clicked.

Persephone (asteroid 399) carries the myth of being both maiden and queen, innocent and sovereign, surface dweller and ruler of the underworld. In astrology, she speaks to the parts of ourselves that undergo deep transformation, often in silence. Her placement can show you where you’re asked to surrender, evolve and rise again stronger, sharper and wiser.

If you’re curious, I’m currently taking requests for Persephone chart readings. These offerings help support my work, but more than that they’re honest, deep explorations of your journey with this powerful archetype.

If you want a reading, I’d love to hold space for you: [Buy Me A Coffee]

1st house Your entire sense of self is shaped by transformation. You might go through visible changes in how you present yourself to the world, sometimes drastic and sometimes subtle. People may sense the undercurrent of something deeper in you, even when you’re being light.

2nd house Money and self worth aren’t static. You might experience cycles of gain and loss that teach you about value and I’m not talking just financial but emotional and spiritual, too. I’ve had clients with this placement say they feel like they’re constantly redefining what "enough" means.

3rd house Your voice is your portal. You may go from being silent to outspoken and back again. There’s a theme of duality in how you think, speak and process the world. Relationships with siblings or peers might also be a source of transformation.

4th house Home, literally. Family dynamics, ancestral stories or childhood experiences might bring deep emotional shifts. There may be a journey here of learning where you belong and who you become when you stop trying to fit old molds.

5th house Creativity isn’t always sunshine. Sometimes it’s raw and shadowy too. If you have Persephone here, your art, romances or parenting journey might come with a double dose phases that reshape your sense of joy and expression.

6th house Burnout cycles are real. You may feel pulled between over giving and needing rest. But there’s a deep potential for healing through your work, especially if you’re in service or wellness related fields.

7th house Your relationships transform you. There’s often a conflict between independence and connection, lightheartedness and depth. Sometimes it feels karmic. Sometimes it is actually karmic.

8th house This is Persephone’s domain. Transformation comes through intimacy, shared resources and inner shadow work. You might find yourself drawn to taboo subjects or feel like rebirth happens through your closest relationships. We are in Hades’s house here.

9th house Your beliefs are not fixed. You’re here to evolve through philosophy, spirituality or travel. You may have periods where everything you thought you knew gets turned inside out and you emerge with a new truth.

10th house Your public path isn’t linear. There may be falls from grace and unexpected rises. Moving through powerful archetypal shifts in how you’re seen by the world.

11th house You float in and out of community, feeling like an outsider, then a guide. Friendships and social movements play a transformational role in your life.

12th house Persephone here lives in the dreams, the shadows and the subconscious. Isolation *jail* and re-emergence may be part of your spiritual rhythm. It can be a lonely placement but also incredibly mystical.

I know not everyone feels ready to face their shadow work. But if you’re at a turning point or if you’ve already gone through one and are still trying to understand what it meant, Persephone can offer language and insight where other placements fall short.

[belayadeaths]

you should tell us about mutant bi and what her abilities are :)

ASK AND YE' SHALL RECEIVE! :// @strangewonderful.

DEVELOPED IN AFFILIATION WITH MY LOVELY FEN, @magnetic-regent-magneto.

AFTER BECOMING PART OF THE SPETSNAZ (Soviet special forces) IN 1961, Byanka Mikhailovna Starkova was quickly selected for an experimental program by an unaffiliated section of the military called Department X. With the help of the brightest scientists in the Soviet Union, hereunder namely Dr. Lyudmila Kudrin, who was the biochemist that developed the treatments affiliated with the Black Widow Ops program, they helped the General Vasily Karpov perform experiments on subjects in their care whether voluntary or not. Their main goal? To recreate the super soldier serum to recreate the perfection of the Winter Soldier into an army of super soldiers fighting on behalf of the USSR.

TW: TORTURE, EXPERIMENTATION, CANCER MENTION, ETC. [ READ MORE ].

Up until the first experiment, Byasha's background story remains essentially the same—her history with the Bolshoi ballet, with the military and her training before being moved onto Phase 2 of the trials in the covert Department X.

It began with base training and minimal testing for the first several months, the subjects all mostly athletic but otherwise of different backgrounds, shapes, physicality, etc. The base training wasn't unlike normal military training in the USSR at the time, limits being tested, weapons and tactical training, and psychological training. Thirty had been selected for the trials, but only ten made it into the next step past the psychological training and trials.

[ TRANSLATED ] LOG, OCTOBER 23rd 1963: "SUBJECT UNDERGOES ECT (ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY) WITHOUT ANAESTHESIA. SUBJECT APPEARS NON-RESPONSIVE." [ EDIT ] "SUBJECT REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS AFTER T + 2 HOURS. NO PHYSIOLOGICAL DAMAGES."

Over the course of the next month and a half, Byasha was subjected to tests of many kinds to test her physical as well as her psychological abilities, her peers or rather fellow test subjects falling one by one every few days. She recognized how whenever one of them came back, it was with a lessened light in their eyes and a hollowed out soul. And though the experimentation was unpleasant and excruciating at times, the worse was yet to come.

[ TRANSLATED ] CLINICAL TRIAL NO. 13, DECEMBER 3rd 1963: "SUBJECT IS ADMINISTERED A MINIMAL DOSAGE OF THE METAL PALLADIUM INTRAVENOUSLY EVERY HALF AN HOUR TO TEST THE SUBJECT'S RESPONSE."

Palladium is otherwise a metal with a low toxicity level, but when exposed to it for longer periods, the affection on humans seem to vary. Seven hours into the experimentation whilst strapped to a metal table, Byasha felt her organs beginning to react to the palladium poisoning her organs. Every two hours the dosage had been upped even further, and it was in that moment her kidneys and liver began to be affected on a cellular level. THIS GIVEN TRIAL WAS PARTICULARLY INTERESTING AS THERE'S NEVER BEEN A CLEAR EVIDENCE OF PALLADIUM BEING POISONOUS TO HUMANS.

BYASHA'S BODY BEGINS TO REACT TO THE METAL THAT'S NOW BECOME POISONOUS TO HER ORGANS; CANCEROUS CELL GROWTHS INVADING HER LIVER, KIDNEYS AND OVARIES.

She lay on the metal table for an additional three hours whilst her body grew cancers and diseases with every passing hour, whilst still being administered more and more palladium. A FEELING OF LOSING HERSELF MORE AND MORE, common cancerous symptoms all affecting her at once; fatigue, unexplained bleeding from nose and eyes, muscle and joint pains, etc. Her body was breaking down from the insides whilst unable to break free from her restraints. It was also at this point her ovaries took permanent damage that would later be discovered to Byasha having become infertile as a result of the trials.

BLOOD STREAMING FROM HER EYES AND NOSE, the doctor's that supervised her did nothing fully whilst knowing the dose was becoming more and more lethal to her, watching as Byasha's body began to shake violently within her restraints and trying to fight off the poison with every fibre of her being. . . .

WHEN SHE AWOKE, HER BODY FELT HEAVY. Her eyelids were heavier by a tenfold when she tried to pry her eyes open, and though she tried to sit up, she couldn't. Her entire body had become heavier while she'd been unconscious or she'd become weaker? Byanka thought it likely a side effect or the experimentation, but at least she'd woken up... A doctor's hovering to her side with someone's wrist in their hand, though it looked odd. IT LOOKED SILVER. CHROME. Shiny. Her brows furrowed while her eyes followed the stretch of the arm from the wrist and down to the joint of her own shoulder. IT WAS HERS.

[ TRANSLATED ] LOG, DECEMBER 15th 1963: "THE SUBJECT HAS DEVELOPED A MUTATION SHOWN TO BE RESILIENT AND EVEN IMMUNE TO THE INJECTED METAL PALLADIUM. GENERAL KARPOV WISHES TO ENSUE CLINICAL TESTING TO DISCOVER RANGE OF IMMUNITY."

December 3rd 1963 was the day that Byasha triggered her mutant abilities, her body reacting to the intravenous lethal exposure to palladium in her body and triggering her mutant gene as a last resort in defense of her life. Byasha's mutation triggered a mutation that over the years in the grasp of Department X would be described as an immunity and absorption of properties.

Upon waking up, Byasha discovered that her body had fully transformed into a body of palladium, chrome and silver in color, and as hard as the metal itself. Her eyes completely whitened and glossed over; irises not to be discerned.

Over the course of the next year and a half, Byasha was subjected to various kinds of torture and experiments to test how effective her mutation was, and whether or not the mutation was isolated to the palladium alone. On April 5th 1964 she was subjected to electrotherapy once more but instead of stopping at the recommended volume for electrotherapy, doctors were instructed to perform a direct ELECTROCUTION on Byasha to see if the subject would adapt to the shock or give in.

LOG, APRIL 5th 1964: "SUBJECT SHOWED POSITIVE RESPONSE TO ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY. SUBJECT'S BODY HAS MADE ADAPTATIONS, AND IS UNTOUCHABLE TO SUPERVISORY PERSONNEL."

OVER THE YEARS DEPARTMENT X SUBJECTED BYASHA TO A MYRIAD OF EXPERIMENTATIONS THAT EITHER WOULD OR WOULD NOT TRIGGER AN IMMUNITY TO THE GIVEN PROPERTY OR ELEMENT. A side-effect or perhaps even additionally added power, was that Byasha became able to split her form into a chiral projections of herself that embodied the immunity or property of her powers—rendering her actual physical body untouched should her chiral form be destroyed.

By August of 1965 when Byasha was finally cleared for off-site missions and paired up with the KGB operative Magnus Eisenhardt, she had gained at least five immunities.

Metal/palladium: her body could materialize into a body fully coated and absorbed in palladium, utilizing the metal's strengths and properties in fights. This given mutation also would/will prove to make it easier for her to absorb and immunize against all metals in the future as it was the component that triggered her mutation. This particular mutation presented itself as her body could transform into that of a body made of palladium; whilst her eyes turned a bright glowing white.

Electromagnetism/electroconvulsion/electrocution: upon being subjected to electroconvulsion and ultilmately electrocusion levels of electrotherapy, Byasha developed an immunization against any form of shock and electricution as her mutation was exposed to lethal levels of electroshock but instead wound up adapting to it and protecting her from its lethality. This particular power presented itself in a bluey glow with visible lightning coursing through Byasha's veins throughout her entire body, as well as completely glossed over and white-blue eyes.

Fire/ablaze: one of the more radical ones, she was simply lit afire whilst alive to see how her body would react to being lit ablaze. This was another exceptionally excruciating mutation that she would adapt to because she was fully burning alive and the doctor's assumed it would be an immolation scene. . . . Nevertheless Byasha survived and her body, whilst gaining burns all over her body, would begin to heal itself whilst the flames still kissed her pale skin. This particular power presented itself as a reddish-orange tinge in her skin, whilst a shadow of ablaze embers and smoke ooze from her body, glossed over and red eyes. She is not personally harmed at any point, however she will burn at the touch—both in personal and chiral form.

Radiation: the next phase was exposure to radiation. Byasha, after successfully adapting to both palladium, electroconvulsion and fire, was subjected to radiation as the next step in the process and she would successfully adapt to that as well. However painful this transition was, the after-effects a lot more painfully than any of the others—the radiation poisoning lingering in her body for days despite her mutation adapting to the radiation itself. The power came to present itself as a dark green tinge surrounding her entire body with a slightly green-ish yellow hue around the curves of her body, and completely glossed over green eyes.

5. BONUS, THE VOID, SENSORY DEPRIVATION: though this trial wasn't as physically excruciating as the others were, it was another adaption Byasha came to develop in the late 1960s. Once Magnus Eisenhardt left their ranks and Byasha was left on her own again with Department X, instead of shoving her into cryostasis, they threw her into a sensory deprivation chamber that would deprive her of sight, sound, taste, smell and touch. IN THERE SHE WOULD REMAIN FOR FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS, being fed only enough to barely survive in terms of meals and fluids over the course of those weeks, however without any form of contact with outside sources. During the course of time Byasha began to hear voices that she wasn't able to distinguish between play of imagination or reality. Unbeknownst to her, Byasha was also administered gasses in the chamber whilst in there alone for that full period of time, all of which would develop into a very specific and quite dangerous split she could perform that'd become known as THE VOID. When presenting or splitting into the Void, Byasha could deprive any given person of all senses and lock them into a void of depravity, subjecting them to the same five weeks of torture she experienced, however all of it wrapped and compacted into mere seconds. IT IS BOUND TO DRIVE A THE RECEIVER MAD; AND HAS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT LED TO SUICIDE ATTEMPTS. [ LOOSELY BASED OFF OF THIS. ] Byasha's form of The Void appears as a charcoal silhouette of her being with completely glossed over and glowy red eyes, and along with her presence follows ominous sounds and even voices that seem to roam inside the receivers head without even establishing physical contact with her.

TLDR; if you've read this far, I truly applaud you. But Byasha can essentially adapt to any form of thing or property that can cause her physical harm, HOWEVER, not until she's been subjected to it in one way or another. Her mutation is very much developed as a defence mechanism against the experimental trials, tests and the torture she lived through.

Furthermore, it is worth noting that the power of her being able to split her power into a chiral projection of herself is seemingly untouchable, no matter how many times it may be destroyed, as long as her original physical form isn't destroyed, she can project the chiral splits again and again.

The chiral forms, if projecting several at a time, TAKE A TOLL ON HER BODY AND MIND. Her brain, because the abilities are derived from TRAUMA EXPOSURE, will react to the chiral projections every time she splits. A single split will heal itself immediately and she can hold the split projection for long periods of time even in the midst of tumultuous times and in war zones. Whenever she produces multiple splits at the same time, that's when her brain begins to suffer through the exposure of trauma even though it's through her chiral forms, it still affects her physical form.

Much like her current default verse, Byasha will experience losses of time, amnesia events and amnesiac relapses if her brain is put under exceptional strain fx. by splitting into multiple chiral forms for longer periods of time.

[hawktuahfreak]

Hongice week day 2! Nerd/Popular

Short fic because I was too lazy to draw 🙏I hope they aren’t out of character anddd i tried my best! Human au

₊˚⊹♡

Emil looked around the corridor filled with other students waiting for their classes to start. His eyes spotted Lili – the girl he used to spend every second of school with. It felt weird to see her among the popular kids. A month ago he would’ve never thought that she, being the shy person she was, could ever hang out with them! Apparently, it must have been enough time to find new friends. What shocked him the most, though, was that she talked almost all the time with the strange boy who earlier kept staring at them or randomly asking him personal questions.

 

Yet he couldn’t blame her. If she felt the same when he was sick and absent, she must’ve also hoped to meet someone new. No one likes being lonely.

 

Sometimes he wished his brother was with him, but only sometimes, because his overprotective ass would probably cause only more problems. He didn’t want Lukas to embarrass him or to give everyone more reasons to bully him. Still, he could use a warm hug and some words of support. A simple “It’s going to be okay” would be enough.

 

When the bell rang Emil entered the classroom and sat next to the window, as always. He opened his books and listened to the teacher trying to not fall asleep. He never found physics interesting. In his opinion, it was the worst subject ever, it never failed to give him a headache, so since this was his last lesson he decided to visit the school library later. Emil wanted to do something that he loved. Reading was one of those things.

 

He jumped slightly when he heard his name being called. The teacher was asking him something, but because he had been daydreaming, he had no idea what they were doing. He looked into his book and then back at the teacher, who shook her head.

“What is the answer to the 3rd question?”

“I- uh..” he stuttered, his face heated up and just as he was about to apologise and probably get scolded, boy who was sitting next to him whispered something. “Um… 36?”

  The teacher just nodded and carried on with her lecture. Emil looked at his classmate, but he couldn’t tell anything from his expression. He bit his lip and whispered short “Thanks” before writing something down in his notebook.

  He felt a huge relief when the bell rang again announcing the end of this horrible class. He sighed softly, quickly packed his stuff, and headed to the library. To make sure that his brother won’t freak out, he texted him that he would stay at school a bit longer. Already thinking about what book Emil should start reading today he really started feeling better. This was his safe place, always quiet and even though he didn’t talk to anyone seeing familiar faces made it his second home. He felt like he belonged there, around other silent nerds.

  Emil walked around bookshelves looking for something interesting when he noticed someone a bit too familiar. It was his classmate - the popular one and Lili’s favourite. Maybe they were dating? He wouldn’t be shocked, because Lili deserves a handsome boyfriend. His name was Leon if Emil remembered that correctly. He never looked like someone that would read much so Emil let himself observe him a little longer. He looked away though when he saw the guy walking towards him. Emil grabbed the closest book about birds and almost ran to his favourite spot. It was in a far corner, empty almost all the time.

  To make his reading experience more enjoyable he put on his headphones and started looking for a good song he could listen to. Maybe something by weezer? He liked that band.

“No way, you listen to weezer?” Emil jumped again when he heard someone right next to his ear. “I, like, love their music” They looked at each other and the blonde blushed hard. The others face was too close to his. “I’m Leon by the way” He said nonchalantly. So he was right.

“E-Emil”

“They let you dye your hair? It looks great” Leon stretched out his hand to touch Emil’s hair without even asking for permission, so he moved.

“It’s natural” He mumbled

“Seriously? That’s, like, sick” After a bit of awkward (only for Emil) silence he added “You could be a model or something”

“What?” Another blush covered his cheeks. This was the last thing Emil expected. He never thought of that, but he already hated that idea. Of course, it was hard to become famous, but even the small chances were too much for him. Emil despised any kind of attention. Sometimes he wished he could live in a forest where no one could find him.

“What? You’re not half bad looking, I like your hair and eyes. Hm, I think you’d look great on, like, covers of magazines” Emil blushed harder. Hearing that from Leon – probably the most attractive guy in school was certainly something. He looked at him better when he sat on a chair next to him. His amber eyes and dark hair fit his tanned skin perfectly. They were the same height, but Emil was skinnier and Leon a little bit more muscular. No wonder that everyone liked him. They leaned slightly closer to each other.

“Why are you even talking to me?” Maybe it wasn’t the nicest thing to ask, but he couldn’t help it. What if Leon was here only to make fun on him later?

“Uh..” Now it was his turn to blush. Leon looked troubled. Of course he couldn’t tell Emil the full truth. How stupid would it be if he ruined everything so fast? They just started talking, and he was almost a complete stranger to him, so he had to wait to tell him his feelings. Maybe Leon could have any girl in their city, but he had a crush on this boy with unusual beauty and a nice voice, so he didn’t flirt with anyone else. He wanted him. Every time Leon saw Emil in corridors or classes his heart beat faster and he wished he could pinch his cheeks or walk with him holding his hand.

“You know… I’ve just seen you few times and thought that you seem, like, really nice. I want to get to know you better.”

₊˚⊹♡

MAYBE I will write more C:< and I apologise for any mistakes?? I made it in bed at 3am with one eye closed and then checked again fighting for my life on toilet. Sorry 🥀

@hongiceweek

[cerisesakurainspring]

Hello, may I please ask for headcanons for Inarizaki reacting to Omimi having a long distance gf, she's a foreigner in an all girls school

Thanks for the interesting concept request! Hope you like this one:)

For some reason, this prompt reminded me of that Juju Stroll scene where Megumi was being hit on.

I think that;

Kita - already knows. He knows everything.

Ojiro - still thinks moitié is the name of the girlfriend

Ginjima - goes along whatever Atsumu thinks of the girl

Suna - thinks she's just a fan. He doesnt really care though.

Kosaku - whispers “did he threaten you?”

Riseki - proud of his senpai

Akagi - created a whole ass scenario in his head as to how they were “forced to date” each other. Who threatened who? Shares the same braincell as Kosaku.

Atsumu - in disbelief. Is jealous and thinks he should also be handsome enough for a foreign girl to have a crush on him

Osamu - thinks Omimi’s cool for dating a foreign girl. Also slightly jealous.

°°°°°°°°°°

“Where’d you three run off to again?” Aran’s raised eyebrow and slight lift of his lips betrayed the serious tone he was pretending to portray on his kohais. 

The Miya twins were running towards them, Suna trailing casually behind. He wondered what the second year trios were up to again.

“Omimi-senpai is being hit on!” The blonde Miya raised his pointy finger towards the gym exit doors.

“Someone’s hitting our senpai?!” The brown-haired wing spiker rolled his sleeves and clenched his hands as if readying himself for battle, “Let’s go as back-up!”

“Tone it down, Ginjima.” Kita interrupted as he finished folding his uniform. Once he put it neatly inside his gym bag, he looked up at Atsumu to inquire further. “Is Omimi speaking to a foreign-looking lady?”

The setter nodded his head eagerly and grabbed Suna’s phone from his hand. “Look at this, captain!” He pointed at the photo of the 3rd year middle blocker conversing with an angelic looking girl. The whole team gathered around him to look at the subject of interest, curiosity dancing in the air.

“Uh, should we worry about Omimi-san or the girl?” Inarizaki’s libero remarked as he stared at the unfamiliar figure in the photo.

“I think her name is Moitié.” Aran stated. “She is Omimi’s girl-”

“Speaking of the devil!” Osamu cut in as two figures entered the gym. The girl’s shy but gentle smile rendered them in awe.

Not for long though because Kosaku ran up to his senpai and coddled his arms, “Omimi-san, where’ev you been. You promised we’d have dinner tonight!”

“Yer still sleeping over at ours right?” Atsumu jumped up behind Omimi’s back and wrapped his legs around his waist. Osamu followed suit and clung onto his legs like a koala would to a tree.

Suna wasted no time and took excessive photos at varying angles. These will definitely be in the yearbook he mused to himself.

Kita sighed and approached your giggling figure, “Y/N-san, please pardon my teammates' behaviour. Although it is nice to see you again.”

“It’s all good Kita-san. I find it amusing.” You smiled warmly and nodded your head at Omimi. The latter smiled softly and grabbed your hand.

“Everyone, meet my girlfriend.”

A resounding consecutive gasps echoed in the gym, their mouths left agape with surprised whispers shared between a few.

Atsumu pointed his finger between the two of you accusingly. How is it that he himself, blessed by the gods for his fine and attractive features, does not have a girlfriend yet and his stoic but, yes, still good looking senpai does first?

Two big oh’s resembling that of a donut hole was all Suna and Osamu could muster.

Akagi was also still deep in thought when you spoke up. “Hello, pleased to meet you all!”

“It is nice to finally meet you in person, Moitié-san.” Aran extended his hand for a handshake but Omimi choked on his saliva as you laughed at the possible misunderstanding.

“Moitié is an endearment that means ‘my other half’, Y/N is my name, Aran-san.”

“Oh.” The color in his face drained from embarrassment. “Oh. Oh, I always thought that was your name because that’s what Omimi has on his contact list.” The sudden realization hit him like a truck, he almost would have been isekai’d to a fantasy world where he’d be reborn as a talking tree. “Oh. Omg I’m sorry.” Aran put up both his hands on his face from awkwardness.

“Did Omimi-senpai threaten you?” Kosaku whispered to which you laughed at what you presumed was a joke.

“No, silly. We met at a cosplay convention last year and have kept in contact since then.”

“I’m not sure if I should focus on the fact that Omimi-senpai is dating a foreigner or that he went to a cosplay convention.”

“I cosplayed Zoro from One-Piece.” Omimi said matter-of-factly so simply as if telling a grade schooler that 1+1 is 2.

“YOU COSPLAY?!” Inarizaki’s team were all astoundedly in disbelief at the surprising fact. All except for Kita.

Of course, he would know. It’s one of those things Omimi would talk over a hot cup of tea.

[kurios-development-hell]

SYNERGY

“We were a good team. They knew the best strategies and they listened to my ideas with an open mind. It was the recipe for their success, earning a nice promotion within the company and making me proud. Being the talk of our co-workers was the cherry on top.” — Spam

It takes effort to create something that was never seen before. It takes guts to keep pushing forward with that never before seen idea that is not aligned with any of the current trending standards. You know that people will not take it seriously, but that shouldn’t deter you from delivering more and more of it. In time everything will click into place, and you will be glad that you haven't stopped when you started to hesitate along the way. It’s daunting, and at the same time, discouraging. But moving forward is the only way, the only path. I think the Addisons of my AU has shown me a lot of that, that ideas can’t bloom if they aren’t sown before, even if they look ugly and dull at first. To keep nurturing them alone is very hard, but one day the effort will pay off and no regrets will come to bite you back.

Anyway, the backstory of Spamton and his Addison co-workers has a very storied past. Slowly I’m gleaning some of what he was, how he got to know his friends, why the White Addisons are a dying breed and why he was forced to change his name and his own archetype to stick it to the system. You might be surprised of all the stuff Spam needed to do in order to survive, but for now, concept arts of ideas and research is all what I have to share about that.

I’m weaving a very deep story behind the origins of Spam and the forces controlling the market of Cyber World and the life of the Cyberians, and why the law forbids any direct contact with Lightners (that was before Kris and friends dropped by). Spam here is just a number, subject #451, one of many. All look the same. All do the same. All have no interests beyond the success of the company in which they grew up to become another white-collared walking utility. Everything would change when he receives an invitation to a cyber-grill to meet with one of the marketing groups he was assigned to. It was the beginning of change, and the start of his voluntary corruption. That's as much as I can say 👀 Oh, also I found out while sprucing their profiles that Sears and Spam share the same birthday day, 3rd of May, though Sears is 5 years older than Spam as they were born in 1973 😅They are the oldest of the Addison group, and that makes them the butt of jokes sometimes.

I need to explore some art-style in order to give substance to this part of the plot and tweak its world-building, which will be unlockable flashbacks in the visual-novel. There's also a new character villain I'm trying to breath life to who appears during the epilogue of the first season. I hope people will like to see a new villain Darkner. He's also another walking DAEMON like Spwatchton but this one works for the LOCAL-SYS whereas Spwatchton is one of the undercover rebels.

Sorry if my content is coming out slow or half-baked. I'm still concept-arting and being nagged at the same time by RL more often than not. Yesterday I had yet another doctor appointment to go to and this week should be my ophthalmologist...

I also... joined the Art Fight of this year... My first time doing this. Though I'm not sure if I'll be able to be very active, I'm going to fill everything with Addisons and other Darkners from my AU to force myself to make their character profiles and see if anybody would do fanart of them (who doesn't like to get fanarts of their OCs? 😅)

As of other updates, we are expecting a final interview with a good company next week that seemed pretty interested in us as we fit their profile well. Fingis crossed! 🤞

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 5

judgement anon (new), aftermath anon (new), oscars anon (new), long rant anon (new), group work anon, cis or trans anon

judgement anon

Hey my friend told me you can ask for advice and talk to people here without any judgement so I thought I would try. I have some questions. I'm really confused at the moment because she/her pronouns don't really feel right for me anymore but neither do he\him I'm not sure if I'm nonbinary either though so do u have any advice as to how to figure out what fits me best ? Any advice is welcome 🫶 thanksssss

Hi!

Honestly I can't tell you if you're nonbinary or not, but if you have some supportive people in your life (your friend, maybe?) could you try experimenting with your gender a bit around them? Maybe ask them to try some different pronouns for you, try dressing in different styles, try different gendered terms, etc. See how it feels! Don't do anything permanent yet, just play around with it! It's okay to figure out what you like and don't like by trying different things out, you know?

______________

aftermath anon

Hey, would you answer an ask related to .... (deleted the rest of the ask for privacy)

Hi!

Unfortunately I'm not comfortable with that...even if I felt comfortable giving advice about things related to sex, I feel like this particular subject is so nuanced that I wouldn't want to accidentally make things more difficult. I think though, with any relationship issue, communication is key, and if that doesn't help, there's nothing wrong with looking to a professional for advice.

_____________

oscars anon

hello hello! i know my problems aren’t nearly as big as some but could i just rant rq?

im so so so so so genuinely upset that timothee chalamet didn’t win the oscar. i do really think he deserved it. hes worked so so hard for everything. i think he should’ve won the first time for his performance in call me by your name (but he was going against gary oldman who is an insanely talented actor and of course deserved his win) but i do genuinely think that he did so amazing in his new movie and he deserved that oscar and you could just see it on his face how upset he was about it. (i do not know him personally but that’s just how i read people it might’ve just been me)

sorry for the rant i just felt that it was important to me

Don't be sorry! I understand, I was frustrated with some of the results as well. Remember though, award shows can be skewed for a number of reasons. Just because he didn't win doesn't mean he's not amazing.

___________

long rant anon

this is going to be a long rant.

ive been friends with D since 1st grade and N since 3rd grade. I've been friends with S since 6th grade and G since 8th/end of 7th grade. I've also been friends with this girl P since 1st grade as well. I'm in ninth/tenth grade now (sort of in between we're done with our finals so we're doing tenth grade material) and from 8th grade to the first half of 9th D, N, S, P and I were a friend group but it broke up. Im still friends with all of them I guess (only P i can definitely say I'm SOLID friends with because stuff has happened with the others) but basically P has her friends, D and N and besties and S and G are besties. That's great and all I guess but where am I? P is a social butterfly always fluttering around everywhere and I'm extroverted too but idk. It's like i constantly have to calculate who and how to hangout with S, D and N without losing any of them and that hasn't worked out well. I was ranting to my cousin and she said that I have to stop playing middle man because both sides will resent me for it and that makes sense. If I choose S then I lose D and N. Honestly? I'm not THAT close to D but N is or was atleast (idk where we stand at this point) one of my best friends. And they're a duo so if I lose one I lose both. And if i choose them then i lose S. Im a very non confrontational person and i HATE fighting things out it's just emotionally exhausting for me and S is the same. If we have issues we sort it out without fighting. Which is the stability i need in 10th grade because we have this thing called board exams? they're national level exams and they're really important.

I've thought about choosing a completely different path. what if I just don't choose either. i choose my friend K, Z and R. we're in the same class and they're exactly the stability i need in 10th grade AND being in the same class gives a much bigger advantage. But in that case I lose both sides. If I stray away from S we might just stop speaking and if I stray away from N and D, I'm just scared they won't understand?

Every morning I talk to K, Z and R. D comes into my class expecting me to talk to her. Like sure K, Z, R and i are in the same class and I could talk to them later but I just WANT to talk to them then. It's kind of awkward to have D there as well and i don't know how to get her to stop because I feel bad for semi ignoring her. And we're not that close so idk what to do 😭. and N? maybe we were better friends when we were younger. maybe it just isn't really working out but I don't want to LOSE TOUCH with her? like how can I be her best friend without being her best friend. the best way to explain it would be like a relationship with no labels except it's a friendship? because her "best friend" is already D and my "best friend" is K so it's like we just slap the labels onto eachother without it having significant meaning? like yes I still want life updates i still wanna know what fanfiction she's reading i still wanna know what she's up to. i still CARE about her but how do I explain that in school id rather stay with my class friend group and hang out with her SOMETIMES without feeling compelled to do calculations to hang out with everyone fairly and not hear "omg you never hang out with us why are you hanging out with us now go away" comments from D and N?

Hi!

Honestly, I feel like friends that make you choose between them and other friends aren't great friends. Unless the person they want you tp drop is like....a shit person, and they have proof of that, then that's not fair to you.

You need to do what YOU want. And that doesn't necessarily mean making a clear choice. It means just hanging out with whoever you want when you want, without worrying about how the others will react. Because then you're forcing THEM to choose whether or not their grudges are worth losing you as a friend. And if they decide that it is, they're not worth being friends with anyway.

I know it's hard to focus on what you want, but in this case, I really think it's best <3

-------

Group work anon

Hi! It's group work anon :)

I just wanted to say thank you!! I spoke to my tutor, and he was really nice and understanding! I've got a new group, he mixed everything around so my grade wouldn't be messed with.

Thank you so much, I don't know that I would have been able to speak up for myself without the advice <33

I'm so glad it worked out! That makes me so happy! If you ever need anything else, you know where to find me!

_______

cis or trans anon

Hey it's cis or trans anon, I just wanted to say thank you sm<33 that really helped

No problem! If you ever need anything else, let me know!

[docholligay]

Shamash Answers: Miscellaneous round one

3rd place, for actually making me laugh, one point:

Piranesi! Clarke’s prose and narrative structure makes me want to do something drastic, like fly to UK and propose.

GIRL YOU DID NOT PUT YOUR NAME HOW WILL I FIND YOU?

2nd place, for recommending a book I will probably read, 2 points

I finally decided to sit down and read (really, liste to) "Hero of Two Worlds: The Marquis de Lafayette in the Age of Revolution" by Mike Duncan. He's one of my favorite history Podcasters and while he probably is a pop historian, he's one of the better ones. And it helps that the subject matter is insanely interesting. One of the biggest patriots and essentially George Washington's adopted son had a fascinating life at the forefront of essentially the political movements of his era. He's complicated and hypocritical and yet still a hero and not….all of which is presented in well researched and an easy to read way.

@shavedjudomonkey

1st place, for making me hear the intense rant you have at a character while still actually making the book sound interesting:

Annihilation by Jeff Vandmeer. Firstly, I find a story that can be sci-fi, fantasy, or both interesting. Usually stories are pretty obviously one way or another. Second, any sci-fi/fantasy that doesn't feel the need to over explain itself is awesome. (This is a big part of why it's genre is so wonderfully muddled.) And, finally, it's accidentally very funny, to me personally. So, very early in the story, the narrator says, "I'm just going to call people by their jobs because there's no point in learning their names, since they die so fast." And then story goes on and those people are still alive. And still alive. And still alive. They are alive for way longer than one would guess. And it got to the point where you start side-eyeing the narrator like, girl, you just forgot their names, didn't you? Just straight up, gun to your head, you could not tell us their names. She realized she'd have to tell her story, she panicked and went, "Oh…yes… Those people whose names I totally remember. But they're not around that long so let's not bother with those, let's just call them by their job." (I don't actually think this is how you're supposed to take it, I think it's supposed to be a character beat, but also she totally forgot their names.)

@madegeeky

[autumnwhistles]

Middle Of Nowhere — Full Lyrics

As promised, here are the first lyrics to the first song in my Last Life Musical concept album (“Middle Of Nowhere”) a few hours before its release!

The song is split into two parts – the overture (which isn't strictly an overture since there's also singing, but still is a mainly instrumental section meant to introduce future themes), which isn't heavily plot relevant but does talk a little about what happened in the 'world' preceding this one (aka 3rd Life); and the main song, which introduces us to the Last Life world through the eyes of the chorus, who are Watchers narrating the events (as I'm basing it on Martyn's canon).

Normal text is for chorus, bold is for players, and italics are for lyrics happening at the same time as each other:

-Overture- Ludo ludete,* Ludo ludete, Ludo ludete! [Intrumental] Oh, gone, the kingdom fallen on the mountain Bare, the sands, their cacti alone Flowers razed and castles left abandoned Now we stage another show! So build up the frozen north! A south that shall fall to flames – Renew and repeat the game!  [Instrumental] -Middle of Nowhere- There is an old, old tale to be told, Of green like the spruce, of crimson and gold. Of crystals and curses, lives swapped and sold, Stories we’ll now behold. There is an old, old song to be sung/Look to the frozen north! Of victors that lost and victims that won/Look to the south in flames! Bonds forged in fire lie shattered and dull/Look to the fallen fort! All cast aside for one/Come on and play the game There is a land, in the middle of nowhere. It was too long ago there, Since last stories arose. So the tale is told, of the middle of nowhere: Watch and witness the show there, As our appetite grows! There is an old, old world to be moulded, Flames to be doused and craters unfolded Forests to spread, dark shadows to sprawl-/ Look to the names! Herald the cue!  Red leaves to mark the colours of the first to fall/Rise, rise anew! There is a call, and flocking, they come, Like moths to a flame or clouds to the sun! Ships to a whirlpool yet struggling still- Look to the trees! Look to the hills! Look to them, all the same/Look to the peaks, Helpless to play their game/Good for defence, style’s just pretence/Gather the sand, gather all the cane you can! And look there, could be a home, let's form a plan!/Ahhh Six, five, four, three, two, one! Look to their land, in the middle of nowhere!/There is an old, old right to be fought for: lives to be lived, and not lived for naught – Through the wants and the woe there/To laugh, be alive, defend our pride, Herald what must be done/To cause chaos, to protect, to attack! Best all in this land, in the middle of nowhere/Strike one! Strike two! You're done! You're through! Take your friends for your foes there/No time for mercy Till a champion has won/when the only thing that you can do is- Four for the traitor, four for the pawn, Six for the swindler selling the dawn; Five for the wolf and three for the mole, Two for the witness outstepping his role. Four, the enigma and expert alike, Three, the beholder, avoiding the strike; Two for the martyr, six for the moon, Two for the fierce-hearted cynic, untombed! [Instrumental] Three for the hero, four for the dame/There is an old tale, now soon to come, Six for the self-dubbed master of games/The stage has been set, the bell has been rung, let curtains soon rise, let lights dim as one! Two, for the king with no subjects to call/The audience trembles, anxious to know what joys and disasters they shall be shown in- Two, the canary, destined to fall.../-all, when the curtains fall... Caught in this land, in the middle of nowhere. Will it still end in woe there? Will it all come undone?/Did you hear that sound?** So many feelings so grand can arise from the middle of nowhere!/Did you hear that voice?** But – let our stars lead the show there, Heeding: our will be done!

(all lyrics and music by me)

*(hopefully) "play the game" in Latin (imperative for multiple people) **the player who sings this is Martyn – but listener Martyn is NOT canon, I am going by his lore. It's a setup to the fact that the voices speak to him (they're probably letting him hear some to mess with him), and also a way to move the musical to his perspective for the next song.

[crowborn666-writes]

TWST OC: Florian Sorrel

Lookie!!! An OC! I had fun making him, and will probably update him from time to time :3 (much thanks to mom for helping me with his last name and his sisters’ names!)

~~~

Inspo/Twisted From: The Singing Roses from Alice in Wonderland

Age: 18

Height: 5’9 (175 cm)

Birthday: May 9th

Homeland: Queendom of Roses

Dorm: Heartslabyul

Grade & Class: 3rd Year (Senior)(Class B, no. 15)

Best Subject: Alchemy

Club: Light Music

Unique Magic: Full Bloom

He mostly uses this on flowers, increasing their vibrancy and growth, but this can also be used to aid in someone else’s magic. It can increase the power, the effects, and even the time the spell lasts.

Voice Claim: (undecided, recommendations welcome!)

Looks:

Fair skin

Purple-pink eyes

Vibrant yet soft pink hair, often tied into a braid. Florian ties his braid together with flowers, which change depending on the current event or location (red roses for daily life or around Heartslabyul, sunflowers when visiting Savanaclaw, etc.)

(Picrew used: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1407730)

Personality: (still a WIP)

Sweet and sympathetic to almost everyone, but that sweetness is quickly replaced by sharp words and cold glares when there’s a “weed” nearby

“Weed” is the term he uses for those he doesn’t like (coughGrimcough)

Hobbies: Gardening, Reading, People Watching

Likes: Singing, Hiking, Puzzles

Dislikes: Messes, Freezing Temperatures, Closed Spaces

Other Info/Tidbits:

Main student to tend to Heartslabyul’s gardens

Ambidextrous (right and left handed)

Has an odd habit of referring to flowers via their scientific name, rather than their common name

“Interesting fact, not all flowers smell nice. One of the smelliest flowers, amorphophallus titanum, is said to smell like rotting flesh! It’s quite fascinating to think about really, why would a flower grow to develop such a disgusting smell?”

*confused looks*

“Sigh… it’s also known as the corpse flower. Moving on from that, I hear in some cultures, lycoris radiata often represents sad memories, while lycoris albiflora represents a more positive nature!”

Plans to become a floral designer after NRC

Don’t fuck up his hair. A death sentence would be a mercy for you.

Grim learned this the hard way. He burned Florian’s hair while being escorted off Heartslabyul grounds once.

Older brother to three younger sisters (triplets). Their names are Aster, Bryony, and Calanthe.

Floyd likes to call him Snapper (based on the Red Snapper fish, which not only range from pink to red in color(like Florian's hair), they also are known to be aggressive from time to time(also like Florian's tendency to be easily angered))

Songs/Themes: TBA

Other Picrews/Art:

Picrew 1: https://picrew.me/image_maker/207297

Picrew 2: https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/17569

(Mostly did these two for funnsies, pls reference the TWST OC Picrew up above for more accurate looks/colors)

[lenkusov]

dude i got so much knowledge of a lotta aspects of, like, everything that I should totally start offering my services as a fanfiction writing consultant or some shit

Seriously between being a terminal Car Guy™ who's been wrenching since I was old enough to understand "righty tighty lefty loosey" and driving touge since I was old enough to reach the pedals since I lived on the mountain (and driving dirt kart almost as long as I've been doing competitive rifle shooting, both in 3rd grade for the record) along with having borderline encyclopedic knowledge of Initial D canon and actually-encyclopedic knowledge of all the gay shit, I think I am qualified to consult on this stuff

Seriously there's glaring errors that I have to mentally edit out in LITERALLY EVERY FANFIC I READ and if I charged, like, $5-10 for a basic edit/preread I could definitely afford my drinking habit slightly better, just to do something I'm gonna do anyway. I just wish my real name wasn't on my Paypal account...

Also I'm a licensed whitewater rafting guide in the state of North Carolina (I do not live in North Carolina), a classically-trained but non-practicing blacksmith, have about 50% of an engineering degree, I'm forklift certified, more knowledgeable about respirators and first aid than the people doing the trainings at work last week, know more than anyone in my company except Bruce the Engineer about what we actually make, and I'm an actual IRL eunuch but I don't think those are applicable to most circumstances, but in case they are, I'm ready

I still ain't found the main quest of life yet but I've done the most random-ass hodgepodge of sidequests you will ever fuckin see so if you need to Know Something it's kind of a coin toss as to whether I got knowledge on the subject

[alihberg]

Ooo care to info dump about T'akar and her crew?

Oh my, I completely forgot about this in my drafts. I'm so sorry!!

(I'm still working out a few of the characters, so this info dump might be a tad incomplete)

T'akar is an Iridonian Zabrak and the leader of a ragtag team of idiots that call themselves bounty hunters.

She grew up mostly fending for herself, which often led to theft and mischief. She doesn't particularly care about the law as much as following her own morals.

T'akar is stubborn, clever, and a competent fighter.

Mejoi, or often reffered to simply as Joy, is a Twi'lek pilot (original ik).

So, I might've lied when I said T'akar mostly fended for herself. She did in fact also fend for Mejoi as they've been friends since early childhood.

Mejoi is a bit younger than T'akar and she's the closest thing T'akar has to a sibling.

Mejoi is highly impulsive, an optimist and an adept pilot.

---

T'akar meets an engineer with cybernetics when she's about to buy a ship. The engineer points her in the direction of a far better ship and she ends up becoming the 3rd member of T'akar's crew.

This character is still very much a work in progress so I don't have anything else on her for the moment.

She does swear a lot though.

(I haven't properly drawn this man yet so this is the only pic I have. I drew it on my cracked phone screen so it's not great but it's something)

While chasing a bounty, Mejoi stumbles into a Mirialan (more like falls on top of him) and much to his dismay, he gets dragged into the chase.

Not only did Mejoi fall on him tho, she also fell for him. His name is Auru and he's such a chill dude.

Auru is force sensitive (though he lacks training), calm, and head over heels for Mejoi.

The crew was about to finish a mission when their bounty abruptly collapsed. Cause? Blaster bolt to the chest.

A sniper took out their bounty.

His name is Kayvon Tog and he's a Togruta.

He started out as a mercenary/assassin who took out the crew's bounty before fighting them and pulling a disappearing act.

After joining the crew he became T'akar's closest confidante and they often spar while discussing important or deep subjects.

Kayvon is grumpy, loyal, and a highly proficient fighter, with and without weapons.

(Kayvon is the most developed out of all of them and there's so much more to his character but this will have to do for now. I will happily elaborate if anyone's interested to hear more about him though. He's also the only one with a fully fledged backstory.)

---

The last crew member is far smaller than the rest but just as important.

She's a loth cat (that is yet to be named).

Mejoi found her on a mission and promptly adopted her. No one complained, the crew absolutely loves her.

Kayvon pretended to be indifferent towards her at first but then T'akar discovered him sleeping with the furry little creature curled up on his chest, looking more content than she'd ever seen him before.

T'akar's crew are as competent as they are chaotic (very).

[alpinelogy]

15 QUESTIONS

Thank you for the tag @63historian <3

Are you named after someone? Nope!

When was the last time you cried? Uh.. sometime this weekend I guess? I am a crier haha

Do you have kids? Nope and I don't want to for several reasons that would probably count as oversharing

What sports do you play/have you played? Oh boy. Ballet (kindergarden through 3rd grade ish), horse riding (kindergarden through 6th or 7th grade ish), athletics (three or four years in elementary school), tennis (3rd grade all the way through highschool), bouldering (after athletics until end of middle school). Along that I've been cycling, skiing, and ice skating since I could walk and I still occasionally boulder. Also my sister is trying to get me into inline skating

Do you ever use sarcasm? yeah. And I have yet to figure out how to translate it to text

What is the first thing you notice about people? How they style themselves I guess? Or like, how they carry themselves adsfg. Hard to explain I guess. Its the vibes

What's your eye colour? Blue

Scary movies or happy ending? Happy ending always

Any talents? Art, writing, generally anything creative I think

Where were you born? A wonderful place in Europe if you ask tourists, a slightly weird and fucked up place (affectionate) in Europe if you ask me. But we do have a pretty castle so that's a win I guess

What are your hobbies? Writing, video games, reading. Baking whenever I can

Do you have any pets? Nope :((. I want a cat tho (or even better: two cats)

How tall are you? 155. I am pocket sized

Favourite subject at school? History, Czech/English (whichever one was more literature heavy), Math

Dream job? Marrying rich Something to do with history most likely. Need to convince my parents that a history degree is not as bad and also: I love research asdfg

Tagging uh.. @landoisokay @autumn816 @ocontraire @argentinagp