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vxsellie · 9 days ago

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Idk If you have Already Heard Dirty little secret- Nessa Barrett. But do It. Okay, Reader used to have a little crush on Ellie but all she want is a little secret, something that nobody have to know. She doesnt like Reader( she thinks) but tables turn, and Reader just like her attention when she's bored

(Sry bad english) Think of It pls.

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. - E.W

summary. kissing in shadowed corners, sneaking out backdoors, touching in private; that was your relationship with ellie ⎯ a dirty little secret. and that's how you intended on keeping it. though, unbeknownst to you, she was fantasizing about something more permanent. notes. ok so first & foremost, i'm so so so sorry it took so long for me to write this, i have NOT been on my a game lately i fear. i put this in hc format so i'd be able to touch on a longer timeframe rather than having to fit a ton of context into a one shot, hope you don't mind!! also, i actually hadn't heard this song before, so TYSM for introducing me to it! i've been listening on repeattttt,, anyway! hope u like this! also!!! if you read in dark mode, you'll see that ellie's dialogue is in black. but if you read in light mode, it'll just look bold. i advise reading in dark mode or else it'll look a bit wonky, but if you don't i promise you'll still be able to see the difference! warnings. none of the smut is in meticulous detail, but i'll be putting warnings here nonetheless. subtop!ellie x dombottom!reader ; mentions of alcohol & brief desc of drunk sex. oral (r! receiving). head in a bathroom stall (yes we're desperate like that). grinding/ thigh riding.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the relationship you have with ellie is a rather complex one.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few years prior to your acquaintance, you had the most piteous crush on her. you'd see her from afar and yearn for her to look in your direction. you see now how absolutely pathetic it had been.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆inevitably, the crush abated. however, it'd done so just in time for her to return your ardor. and so, by the time ellie actually took notice of you and began to reciprocate, you were over her. you were sick of putting so much effort into a girl who couldn't give a single shit about you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but, as it turned out, ellie was far more direct than you. while you spent months just staring at her from a distance, it'd only taken a few weeks of doting before she approached you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you had to give her credit, though, seeing as she had more aplomb than you could ever dream of.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆however, it is important to note that, when she spoken to you, you'd both been absolutely wasted at a college party ⎯ so that likely had a colossal part to play in her confidence that night.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she came up to you when you were alone, a weary smile on her face. her cheeks were rosy from alcohol, her auburn hair a bit tousled. in your own drunken state of inebriety, you couldn't fathom why you'd ever stopped liking her. she was stunning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆long story short, she only got a few flirty sentences out before you were directing her upstairs.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆altering making sure to lock the door, you'd set your red solo cup onto a nearby bookshelf before turning to face her with alluringly lustful eyes. her heart was pounding, absolutely entranced by you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in an instant, you were on her. her hands roamed your body as you kissed down her neck, slowly pushing her back until she fell onto the bed.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you straddled her waist, taking no time to tug her shirt over her head. she aided you, pulling it off in one swift motion. you hardly cared for the dramatics though, far more interested in getting your hands on her.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it was a bit awkward at first, the two of you barely knowing one another and not exactly sure on how the other wished to be touched. but you got the hang on it rather quickly.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night was spent with drunken laughter in your chests, bare skin touching preliminarily, and the knowing it'd all be a hazy memory come morning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆afterward, you'd simply slid your clothes back on and returned to the party. ellie was a bit shocked by this, but said nothing. she wasn't in any place to judge.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her gaze landed on your abandoned red plastic cup on the shelf. she picked it up, intending to use it as a way to spark conversation with you. your lipstick stained the rim, her breath catching at the sight as she recalled the way those same lips felt on her body only a few moments ago.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆with a shake of her head, ellie turned on her heel and began downstairs. though, unfortunately, she was unable to find you for the rest of the night. it was like you'd simply disappeared int thin air. it was maddening, but simultaneously was it captivating.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the following day, she'd seen you around campus a few times. but you didn't seem to notice her in return. you'd either be walking with your friends, your laughter ringing in her ears like a melody; or you'd be by yourself, speed walking as you were dangerously close to being late to your next lesson.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in short, she was rather disappointed that she hadn't been able to talk to you. however, in all honestly, she wasn't quite sure what she'd say.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that didn't last long, though.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few weeks later, she managed to catch you in the halls ⎯ albeit accidentally. in a weird twist of fate, you'd bumped into each other while rounding a corner. her face instantly lit up when she saw who it was that she knocked into. you, on the other hand, appeared rather irritated, your drink having spilt down the front of your white shirt.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie apologized over and over, insisting on helping you dry off. you wanted to deny her, but she grabbed you by the wrist and tugged you into the girls' bathroom without waiting for your response.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you looked at your reflection and cursed under your breath as you saw the deep brown stain on your top. welp, your mood was now ruined for the rest of the day.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you pulled your shirt over your head, now standing in only your bra as you held the top in front of you to examine. the stain appeared to not be too bad, likely able to come out in a few washes. at that thought, relief engulfed you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's face instantly felt hot when you took off your shirt, her eyes averting elsewhere.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're acting like you haven't already seen me naked." you said with an amused smirk, leaning over the sink to wash the fabric of your shirt. as you did, she couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to your cleavage as you bent over. her heart hammered in her chest, face now painfully red.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she stood in place awkwardly for a few minutes before you rolled your eyes and beckoned her over, reminding her that she's the one who dragged you in here and that she'd claimed to help you clean it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie walked over to you, the proximity causing her stomach to churn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her shoulder brushed yours and her mind raced with recollections of how your body felt against hers. she suddenly felt her stomach tightening with the need to be closer.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆now, you weren't a fool. you could tell ellie was turned on. she wasn't exactly slick about it either, her eyes on your tits as you scrubbed the shirt and occasionally on your ass when you bent over. but you weren't about to give her what she wanted simply because she wanted it. no, that'd be self deprecating considering how long you spent chasing after her. it was time for ellie williams to be the one yearning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆so instead, you continued to innocently clean your shirt, using the floral scented soap to wash it. you'd position yourself over the sink in a way you knew she'd be thirsting over ⎯ back subtly arched, breasts pushed together slightly in the mirror. yeah. she was going fucking crazy, to say the very least.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it eventually became too much and she found herself tracing the tips of her fingers along your forearm. how she got the confidence to even touch you is beyond her. but it worked in her favor.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆because fast forward a mere five minutes and you were both in a random stall, shirt left abandoned in the sink.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were standing with your back against the stall door, ellie on her knees before you. her tongue worked magic against your pussy as she ate you like she'd been starved her whole life.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you braced your hands on either side of the stall, using the walls to hold yourself up as you grew closer and closer to an orgasm.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's eyes were shut as she focused solely on pleasing you, mouth making out sultrily with your clit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you came, it was a mess. all over her face and neck as your knees nearly collapsed under your weight. ellie hardly minded. honestly, if anything, the taste of you only made her want to do it again. and again. and again.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆needless to say, she was hooked on you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you quite liked the way she treated you, uncaring for her own pleasure as she was content with just watching you come undone. the sight of your rapture was enough to please her, in turn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and so. this became a habit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you'd be walking through the school halls when someone would grab you by the wrist and pull you into a random janitor's closet. you wouldn't even need light to tell who it was, the feel of her hands familiar enough for you to already begin stripping.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆alternatively, she'd be washing her hands when you'd grab the back of her shirt and pull her into a random stall. or eating lunch when you'd give her a look from across the cafeteria that'd wordlessly tell her to meet you in the bathroom.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆regardless of how it's initiated or who pulls who, the two of you always ended up in some lowlight place with your hands on the other. you enjoyed the attention she gave you, seeking her out when bored or in need something to relieve stress.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, for ellie, she did this because she genuinely liked you. she wanted to feel your skin on hers. she wanted to hear those pretty noises you made when you were trying to stay quiet. she wanted to be near you. all the time.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knew you didn't feel the same.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆eventually, after a few months of making out in random places of solitude, ellie said something that shocked you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were zipping your jeans and flattening your hair in an empty classroom, situating yourself to erase any evidence of what you two had been doing. then you noticed ellie appeared a bit disheveled. like, more than normal. she was fiddling with her fingers, cheeks still rosy.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you sighed, telling her to just say whatever she was thinking. and so she did.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i was thinking... well, we've been doing this for a while now and-" she frowned, frustrated by her own inability to speak around you. even after so long of fucking you, she couldn't seem to actually hold a conversation without stammering. "um, well, wouldn't you prefer to do it somewhere nicer? like- i dunno, my place? ...i have a dorm on campus. we can-"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"ellie." you interrupted, pinching the bridge of your nose with a sigh. her ears instantly perked at the sound of her name on your tongue, something you so rarely uttered that she couldn't help the way she yearned to hear it again. "this isn't permanent, you know that right? i'd love to come over to sleep with you, but don't expect anything more. and i'm sorry if that comes off bitchy, but i don't want you getting the wrong impression here."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"yeah yeah, of course not." she scoffed, feigning indifference. "i don't want anything more either. just sex. that's what i was implying too."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you weren't sure how much you actually believed that. but you said nothing, not wanting to ruin whatever you two had going on. if ellie did like you more than she let on, you supposed you'd have to just turn a blind eye if you wished to continue your current relationship.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night, you arrived at her dorm with a light knock to the door.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie had been stressing all day since your conversation. you told her that what you two had was nothing more than secretive fucking, but she couldn't help the way she wished that weren't true. she oftentimes found herself thinking of you during lessons, unable to focus on the professor's words. she was even failing a few subjects due to that.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she wanted to clean her dorm before you came over, but she was scared you'd be able to tell and would reprimand her for going out of her way.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in the end, she decided to tidy it up only a little bit, picking up her clothes that'd been strewn across her floor. and then hiding her journal that was filled with doodles of your nude body.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆by the time you knocked on the door, she was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. her breathing was shaky as she moved to open the door and let you in. the moment she did, her breath hitched.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were dressed casually, wearing something you'd likely be found sleeping in. your hair was wet, signifying that you'd just showered. she'd never seen you in with a domestic emanation ⎯ priorly having only seen you dressed up; whether that be in a skin-tight dress (the party) or the nice outfits you'd wear around campus. but something about this was different. like a new level of intimacy was just drawn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you noticed her staring and narrowed your eyes at her. "don't you look at me like that." "like what?" "like this is real."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she nodded, not trusting herself to speak, stepping aside to let you into her dorm. you looked around. two beds were situated on either side of the room, a messy desk wedged between them. you raised a brow, asking if she had a dorm mate and if you'd have to worry about them walking in on you. she instantly explained that her roommate, dina, hardly comes to the dorm anyway, much preferring to hang around her friends or in the library.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you seemed pleased by this, glad to know you won't be found out. a few minutes passed of small talk before the atmosphere shifted to what the two of you were most used to ⎯ lustful desperation.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie locked the door before turning to see that you were already pulling your clothes off. she chuckled, nearing you as she removed her own.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were there for hours, ellie unable to get enough of you. the sight of you in her bed, laid out like that. your damp hair unkempt, your body freshly cleaned and smelling of lavender and lilies. she just couldn't get herself away from you, pulled to your body like a fish on a hook.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you weren't about to complain considering she made you cum five times.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you two finally pulled away from each other, you didn't stay long afterward. you laid back in her bed, body slick with sweat as your bare chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. ellie laid beside you, eyes studying every inch of you she could get. she committed this moment to memory, never wanting to forget it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆once you realized what she was doing, you huffed out a breath and shifted to pull your clothes back on. she watched you, unable to pull her gaze away. she wanted more. she wanted you in a way that nobody else got to have. but instead, she's left wondering if you're doing this with other people as well. she doesn't want to assume, and she'd never think lowly of you, but- well, she can't ask. you always shut her down when she asks personal things.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and then, without another word, you grabbed your things and left, shutting the door softly behind you. though you made sure to peek your head out the door before exiting, making sure nobody saw you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆this, too, quickly became a habit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you two definitely still had your usual rendezvous throughout the day. but when the sun set, you'd sometimes sneak to her dorm. ellie wouldn't know when you were coming, having to always keep her journal hidden in case you came knocking.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆as ellie lies you down in her bed night after night, she comes to realize that she likes this a lot. she kinda enjoys the way she doesn't know how you feel. your lives are kept private, separated so that nobody else on campus has a clue that you two even know each other.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knows. and you know. and that's all she truly cares for. yes, she wants more. she wants to kiss you and mean it, she wants to pull you into her arms, she wants to laugh with you. but if this is all she gets, she's grateful.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆one day, a few months after your first visit to her dorm, the atmosphere felt off to you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you entered her dorm without knocking, that sense of unfamiliarity long having been abandoned. you walked in, seeing ellie laid back in her bed on her phone. she glanced up, heart instantly stuttering in her chest. you locked the door and walked toward her. you got onto the bed, crawling up the length of her body.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she tossed her phone aside, hands coming to your hips.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slipped her hands under your shirt, caressing the skin of your stomach. you let out a soft sigh, reaching down to pull your shirt over your head. she stared at you, eyes pinned to your chest. you leaned down, kissing the column of her throat, leaving light bruises across her skin. she tipped her head back, her hands coming to cup your breasts.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you rolled your hips, grinding down on her as you sought out friction. she lifted her leg, thigh wedging between yours. you continued to hump her, your hands on her shoulders as you held yourself up.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she held you by your hips, fingers inching down toward your waistband. you didn't stop your movement, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as your clit rubbed against her jeans.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slowly began to unbutton your pants. the ease of which she does it makes you a bit uneasy.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆see, when you two usually fucked, i was just lust and sex and nothing more than mere physical attraction. she normally tore your clothes off, needy and desperate. but she was taking her time today, eyes scanning your body as she undid your pants at a slow pace.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she'd done this a few times before, acting weirdly intimate with you. though, whenever you point it out, she's quick to put an end to it. you hope she does the same this time.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you paused, chest heaving as you shot her a look. she paused as well, looking up to meet your gaze.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"what're you doing?" "what do you mean?" "you're being all sensual again. we're not girlfriends, ellie, quit it."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she frowned, face contorting into a displeased expression that you'd never seen her wear before. well, it'd never been directed at you at least. she'd always been so patient with you. and yet.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ "well fucking excuse me. y'know, sometimes i want to be treated like a person too, not just your goddamn fuck buddy. i have feelings."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"fuck buddy is what we agreed on." you pointed out, moving off of her lap. you sat across from her on the bed, glaring. "is it? because i don't remember being asked my opinion on all of this."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you scoffed, "okay what is your problem? why are you acting like this?"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"am i not allowed to voice how i feel? you tell me what to feel all the fucking time, but as soon as i show an ounce of distaste, i'm the bad guy?" "i never said you're the bad guy. i'm just asking where all this is coming from. you've never spoken out about this until now."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"does it fucking matter where it's coming from? it's how i feel, you should respect-"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was interrupted by the sound of keys rattling the door. she cursed under her breath, pointing toward the closet. you hopped off the bed and hid yourself in the closet before shutting the door as softly as possible.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you watched through the cracks as a woman entered, black hair tied into a ponytail. she walked over to the desk between the beds and opened the left drawer. ellie spoke to her shortly, sounding impatient as she asked the woman what she was doing here. the woman laughed in ellie's face, reminding her that it's her dorm too. ellie scoffed, though it was clearly all playful. you remembered that ellie briefly mentioned the woman who stayed here with her. dina.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the drawer dina was digging through had been piled with papers and books. she reached into the far back, grabbing a set of keys from it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆dina gave ellie a quick farewell before turning on her heel and heading toward the door, casting a wink at the closet door you're hidden behind. though, before you had a moment to process what that meant, she was gone and ellie was opening the door to let you out.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you crossed your arms over your chest, looking at ellie expectantly.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was allowed to have feeling; of course she was. but for her to keep them bundled up for almost a year, only to release them on a random fucking tuesday? that was the issue.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i've had a horrible fucking day, alright? and i just⎯ for once, i wanted something more intimate from you than just fucking." "what could possibly be more intimate than fucking?" "not physical intimacy. i mean, like, emotional intimacy. shit that means something. was hoping you'd come over today, sure, but not because i wanted to just fuck you and leave. i wanted someone to talk to."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you frowned, a sudden bile of guilt forming in your chest. you knew this was coming. you knew it from the moment you met ellie and saw the way she blushed when she approached you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you weren't wanting a relationship at the time. you just wanted someone to fuck at some random party. and she was so good at it that you saw her and instantly wanted sex. just being near her turned you on. and it was only on a physical level. or so you thought.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, if you were being completely honest, you couldn't deny that you'd thought of becoming something more with her. you'd thought of her when trying to fall asleep; thought of her comforting you when you were upset; imagined kissing her more passionately, just wondering what it'd be like.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you'd been so tangled up in this lie that just imagining something more with ellie seems impossible. even if you know it could totally happen.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." was all you said.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she raised a brow, confused by your short answer. "okay what?"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." you repeated. "we can try to be more than fuck buddies, as you call it."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her brows shot up instantly, unable to process what you were saying. she blinked a few times, staring at you as she waited for you to laugh at her and say it was a joke. but you didn't. instead, you held her gaze and watched her with a heaviness she wasn't used to. like you were seeing her. yo were actually seeing her.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're serious?" "oh, c'mon. i wouldn't lie about something like this. i'm not a fucking monster."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she instantly rushed forward, pulling you into a hug. you laughed, hugging her back. she peppered kisses across your face before finally landing one on your lips. it felt different, like this. ellie was right, you suppose, emotional intimacy was far better than mere physical attraction.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and, as it turned out, while there's a decent amount of dirtiness to ellie, there's nothing little nor secretive about her. so there goes your futile attempt at a dirty little secret, now made into something far more precious.

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greaseonmymouth · 1 year ago

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As you've asked for asks!:

Do you have any quick-and-dirty book/fic binding methods a terrified-of-failure novice could use to bang something out to get over the first collywobbling step of Actually Doing The Thing? (this may be something I've been meaning to ask for ages)

yes! I absolutely do! in my opinion the best quick-and-dirty bookbinding method is a no-glue pamphlet: you don't have to mess with glue or measuring or cutting anything, all you need is your text, some paper, a needle and thread. you can use the same needle to punch holes if you don't have an awl.

this is going to be a little long but that's because I'm going to write out some fairly detailed instructions for an A5 sized pamphlet. If you don't want detailed instructions and think you can glean the necessary info from photos, just skip to the photos! I've also linked tutorials.

for preparing the text to printing, in whatever software you use (word, libreoffice, gdocs, whatever) make sure your document is set to page size A5. make it look readable. then save as/export that document as a straight-paged PDF. now go to the bookbinder JS tool (https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/), and upload the PDF. source manipulation: none printer paper size: A4 display unit (you can ignore, or choose cm if it gives you anxiety that it automatically displays points) printer type: select single-sided or duplex accordingly* rotate paper: ignore flip on long side: check if you are printing duplex and if your duplex printer flips the paper on the long side page layout: tick folio page scaling: original page positioning: centered ignore the rest flyfleaf: ignore signature format tick: standard signatures. in the length drop down, this depends on the type of pamphlet you are doing. for folio i generally find 4-5 pages per signature a comfortable thickness. if you have 6 whole A4 pages you can still do that as a single signature or you can split it into two signatures 3 pages each. wacky small layouts: ignore this signature info click the generate preview button to see what your PDF looks like imposed! I love this step especially when I'm doing quarto (A6) or octavo (A7) sized books generate output - click this to generate an imposed PDF

for A6 and A7 sized books the instructions are much the same, except for these you make sure the page size is A6 or A7 in your software, and then you choose quarto or octavo instead of folio. for signature length drop down I keep signature length to 1 for octavos typically and 2 for quartos, as this still refers to sheets of paper, and for octavo 1 sheet of A4 paper will turn into 4 smaller sheets in one signature once folded and cut.

*if you don't have a duplex printer you will have to manually turn the paper to print on the other side. I cannot be arsed with this so I bought a printer capable of duplex printing (I didn't have a printer anyway). if you already have a printer check what it can do as you might be surprised and go from there.

now to the pamphlets! you don't need a cover - I have one for the long stitch pamphlet but for the saddle stitch one I didn't bother and just made sure the first page had a title on it. you can always take a different piece of paper and print a cover on or or just use coloured cardstock and create a simple cover, but a cover is not necessary unless you're doing a long stitch pamphlet. all you need to do is to punch holes and start sewing. there are a few different stitch types below, I wouldn't say any of them are more difficult or easier than others, but they do look different so...pick one you like the look of and go from there?

pamphlet stitch (uneven number of holes) I haven't ever done a pamphlet stitch but here's a tutorial for how to do it: https://www.starpointestudio.com/simple-pamphlet-stitch-book-step-by-step/

saddle stitch (uneven number of holes) I realised that what I was thinking of as a pamphlet stitch is actually saddle stitch, as in this A7 pamphlet:

here's a tutorial for how to sew saddle stitch: https://www.bookbindingworkshopsg.com/saddle-stitch-bookbinding-tutorial/ here's a video tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWHkY5jOoqM (sealemon has a lot of bookbinding tutorials and I know many people who like her videos, I used her tutorial for coptic binding way back when I first made a book but I can't otherwise vouch for the quality as I haven't used her videos)

french link stitch (even number of holes) in this one I used french link stitch which I typically use for thicker textblocks that i'm not planning to use tapes with as the french link gives it some robustness, I used it here because I had never done it before and wanted to try it out. I am planning to take these stitches out and re-sew this pamphlet with a cover now that I've found a suitable piece of transformer fanart to use as a cover:

french link tutorial. it's quite long but it has a colour coded bit towards the end that shows how the thread is supposed to link which i find very helpful to visualise: https://www.handmadebooksandjournals.com/bindings/french-link-stitch-binding/

here's a video tutoral from DAS bookbinding (he is my go to for techniques and he has the most soothing Australian accent as well, though fair warning not all of his videos are for beginners): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4ZPdbaM-Ws

long stitch (even number of holes) for this one I used long stitch and I had a cover. this one is my favourite variation because I can make these pretty and simple covers and the stitch looks nice on the outside as well, so this one scratches the 'i want to make a book' itch for me.

here's a tutorial that also includes a how to on a cover that is different from my cover: https://lccprintmaking.myblog.arts.ac.uk/files/2020/06/Long-Stitch-Tutorial-A4.pdf DAS also has a video tutorial for long stitch but it's like three videos long, maybe watch it later :'D here's one I haven't watched but seems decent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnignTL_wDQ

you can use saddle stitch for this kind of pamphlet as well, that's what I did for dozens of ships and hundreds of souls (https://ashmouthbooks.tumblr.com/post/681587080267202560).

I hope this helped!!

#bookbinding #fanbinding

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linghxr · 4 months ago

Text

Tips for finding Chinese-language media you like

I’m sure some of you started studying Chinese because of Chinese webnovels or dramas. But for others (myself included), it's challenging to find enjoyable Chinese-language media. Here are my tips! I will mostly mention TV shows, but these tips apply to other types of media as well. They can apply to other languages too.

Tip 1 - Start with something similar (but not identical) to content you already like.

My entry to Chinese TV shows was idol survival shows like Produce 101/Chuang and Idol Producer/Youth With You. I used to watch the US version of The Voice and The X Factor, so I was already interested in singing/performing competition shows. Yes, China has its own version of The Voice (or at least it did). But why would I struggle through watching the Chinese version when I could watch the English version effortlessly? On the other hand, idol survival shows didn't have a direct equivalent in English. Once I got hooked on them, I had no choice but to keep consuming Chinese media.

Tip 2 - Don’t force yourself to consume popular media that you don’t enjoy.

The first Chinese scripted shows/dramas I tried were iPartment and Love O2O, both very popular shows. But I didn’t like them and had to force myself to keep watching. Eventually I abandoned them. After that, I basically didn’t watch any Chinese shows for 2+ years. I wrongly thought that I didn’t like any Chinese shows or there were no good ones—definitely untrue! In retrospect, those shows are not the types of shows that I tend to watch in any language, so they were really poor choices. By forcing myself to watch something that I didn’t like, I was just wasting my time and sapping my motivation.

Tip 3 - Be willing to invest time at the start.

I won’t lie, it’s a large time investment to find the first few pieces of media that you really like. But after that, it gets so much easier. Especially with Chinese-language media, it’s not as popular as Korean and Japanese media, so you might not know where to start. Luckily, Chinese-language media is becoming more readily accessible! Open YouTube/Spotify/Netflix, etc. and invest some time upfront trying different things until you find what sticks. There may be some duds (like me with iPartment and LoveO2O), but don’t give up! Keep looking, cause it will pay off in the long run.

Tip 4 - Don’t let embarrassment get in your way.

It’s important to find media that you truly enjoy so you’ll feel motivated to spend time with it every day. So keep an open mind when exploring formats and genres that may be unfamiliar to you. I used to be embarrassed about watching Chinese idol survival shows, so I hid them from friends and family. I learned later that my friends are actually really receptive and willing to watch with me, even though they don’t speak the language! You don’t need to announce your favorite media to the world, but please don’t let embarrassment get in the way of your enjoyment and your language learning goals!

Tip 5 - Use what you like to strategically branch out to new mediums.

You can take advantage of adaptations and other connections to expand to new mediums. While watching idol survival shows, I would look up the songs’ original artists—that’s how I got into Chinese music! When I decided to give dramas another try, I watched Someday or One Day after seeing the ending theme song covered on Youth With You. Another drama, The Disappearing Child, starred actors I knew from the show Sisters Who Make Waves. When I decided to tackle webnovels, I read the original webnovel of Reset, since I loved the drama adaptation. This is the perfect way to expand your repertoire.

#study tips and advice #chinese #mandarin #mandarin chinese #chinese language #studyblr #langblr #learning languages #language learning #chinese langblr #mandarin langblr #languageblr

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partycatty · 10 months ago

Note

I have this idea:

Johnny Cage x tomboy (can be gender neutral reader), I see the reader as a introvert, gamer, a bit of a nerd that prefers to wear comfy pants than elegant, tight dresses/skirts. Johnny likes to talk to them cause they can play games together (I believe that johnny being a bit of a gamer is a fact stated in mk1, when we have a Cage's Mansion tutorial?) and so he decided to invite reader to a red carpet event created because of the launch of his new movie. It's first time in their life to attend such thing and they really don't know what to do... (the rest is up to you, they can either fuck before the event while reader is trying to pick a good outfit or just go there and have fun or whatever<3)

johnny cage > zip me up

johnny's not used to seeing his best friend in anything but a hoodie and sweats. what happens when they have to dress outside of their comfort zone?

warnings: nsfw... :3, exhibitionism?, hardcore praising LOL, awkward reader (no rizz ...), reader is written as curvy? LONG POST LOL

notes: i physically cant write dom johnny without it sounding super ooc LOL ALSO!! im so sorry if the formatting is iffy, ive been forced to use desktop and the formatting is completely different than my usual mobile writing

masterlist

honestly, it's hard to gauge what games he'd actually play, so a part of me believes he mainly plays... mortal kombat. and yes, since he is canonically responsible for the franchise existing, he would main himself. or maybe he'd play fortnite, lord knows he'd have his own skin.

"come on, man! you can't keep picking general shao! you can just say you hate me," johnny groans, staring at the character select screen. his favorite thing was to drop tidbits about the characters and compare them to the real life counterparts. "i'm still mentally recovering from witnessing his ugly mug."

you chuckle and lean back in your chair, pulling your headset mic closer to your lips. "would you rather i picked one of your buddies? kenshi, or as you called him, sexy face two?"

"and now you're asking me to beat up my best friend," johnny sighs dramatically. you giggle, and it makes his heart flutter and cheeks redden. thankfully, today was a day your webcams were turned off so you were none the wiser. you make a comment that he's the one that wanted to play a game that features his real friends and actual enemies which earns yet another groan from him.

"if you're gonna be annoying, we could switch to something else?" you offer teasingly. "not my fault you choose to stare at yourself every game instead of learning combos."

"oh hush, you love me," johnny replies, earning a little peep from you out of surprise. he loved to push your buttons and flirt with you. it was in his personality, sure, but because of it you did have a massive crush on him. it was innocent and purehearted, but you just couldn't see yourself risking your great friendship over some silly feelings. "you love it when i'm difficult, don't lie to yourself."

"...shut up," you pathetically try to retort, sinking into your seat and fighting the flush on your face. "are we gonna run another round or what?"

"actually, i had something to ask of you," johnny says, tone suddenly serious and almost unreadable. you feel a pit in your stomach at his tone, wondering if maybe you're in trouble. your mind spirals as you nervously fidget in anticipation. "well, two things actually. could you turn your camera on so i can properly ask you?"

you shakily turn your camera on in discord, anxiously glancing between your monitors and camera lens. johnny smiles to himself, leaning forward get a closer look at you as if you were sitting across the table from him.

"good girl, there we go," he says encouragingly, making your thighs clench as you use your sleeves to hide your face. "no, come on, don't hide. here, let me-" he clicks on his own camera button and his webcam blinks to life. he smiles directly into the camera, and for a moment you're winded at the reminder that you're best friends with a celebrity. "-there. now it doesn't feel like i'm talking to my computer."

"well, you are-" you speak up, ready to go on one of your famous tech tangents. johnny holds up a single finger, shushing you instantly. as much as he'd love to hear your voice for hours on end, he wanted to squeeze out what he was going to say first.

"-hold your tongue, my dearest nerd," johnny quips with a wink. "my favor first." you tense up before he speaks up again. "i've got a movie coming out. finally, right? point is, cris is an absolute no-go, and my assistant couldn't find a damsel to hang off my arm in time for the red carpet. so, next best thing, i was wondering if... you'd be my plus one."

"i-i don't dress up, johnny," you protest, looking away. "all those cameras, all the shouting... not for me."

"it's not all bad," he insists with a smirk. "you'll have me. all you have to do is stay close to me and smile."

you stammer, trying to spill out more excuses for him to give in and stop asking.

"i don't have a dress-"

"i'll buy you twenty."

"nobody knows who i am-"

"eyes'll be on me."

"what if someone laughs at me?"

"doll, have you seen some of these hollywood clowns? you'll look just fine."

you tug at your hair, exasperated. he came prepared with every response, had every reason to bring you to the carpet. you wanted to say no, but truth be told, you missed johnny dearly. you don't get to see him in person often, given your medium distance and his constant work. a meek "fine" escapes your lips and johnny cheers to himself, his excitement painted all over his face. it made you warm how well he was at showing his appreciation at times.

"i knew i could count on you, sweetheart. this means the world to me. i'm getting you tomorrow at three, okay? we're gonna get you a nice dress, i'll get a matching suit tailored... oh, it'll be like prom all over again!" he's gesturing wildly as he hypes himself up over the plan.

"i never went to prom, johnny," you chuckle to yourself, eyes on your keyboard. "i wouldn't know the experience."

"well that's ridiculous," johnny looks surprised at this fact, for a reason you can't pinpoint. "i would have asked you if we knew each other then."

"i'm sure," you agree shyly, turning away to try and hide your blush. "i'll see you tomorrow, johnny."

"see you tomorrow, doll," he smiles at the camera again, and you catch a glimpse of it as you weakly return the expression. then, johnny leaves the call, leaving you huffing and blushing. he just asked you to be his plus one on the red carpet, for his movie, for his fans... all eyes will be on you. the thought terrifies you, but maybe you could push through for your friend. you were a software developer, mostly confined to your dimly lit bedroom. this was a whole new realm!

you roll around on your bed and kick your feet, wondering why you're always so awkward around him. if you fumble at all in public, your world might just fall apart. sleep doesn't come easy for you, but it eventually overpowers your anxiety.

sunlight creeps through your windows. despite your usual tendency to sleep in, your nerves shot you awake slightly earlier than that, and you tried your best to negate your shakiness through games and squeezing in any work projects you could make up - before a firm knock was at your apartment door.

you fly to the door and swing it open, excited to see the only man that gets your heart pumping. he's matching your energy with a cheesy grin, immediately charging at you to embrace you in a bear hug. his cologne makes you tingle as you breathe in his shirt fabric. when he pulls back, he chuckles to admire your attire. you're wearing your usual sweatpants, hoodie, and slippers.

"you clean up nice," he compliments you sarcastically. "it's nice to finally see you, honey." you shrug with a shy smile at his endless pet names. "let's get you into something more flattering, yeah?"

he encourages you to his car, it's one of his nice sports cars with his name printed across the seats. you always felt out of place in his luxurious lifestyle. however, even through the two hour car ride back to malibu, you found yourself familiar and comfortable alongside johnny.

"you didn't have to drive four hours just to see me," you insist quietly, voice muffled against the window as you admire the waters. "it's a lot of trouble for one night."

johnny seems to genuinely seem taken aback by your deprecating comment. he leans over and slides one hand on your knee, patting it gently.

"you know i'd do anything for you," he speaks in that dangerously low tone, stealing quick glances as he desperately tries to focus on the road. "i want you with me."

even after his comforting pat, his hand lingers for a moment, sliding up your thigh with feather touches. you cover your lips with your finger to muffle any whimpers that threatened to escape. you always hated how touchy he was, and by hated, you mean it turned you on embarrassingly easily. as the road straightens out, you realize he's staring directly at you with suspiciously blown out pupils, but snaps back into reality as quickly as you noticed. he clears his throat and removes his hand, settling them both back on the steering wheel.

perhaps he just missed me and wants to be closer, you thought. he's always clingy, he probably just... you're having a hard time justifying his needy glances. they looked off. it's been a stupidly long time since someone eyed you down like that.

after what felt like a thousand years, the city comes into view and johnny parks at a luxury outfit boutique. it's small, but the window mannequins alone make you swallow nervously.

it takes quite some time to decide on a dress, because you internally decide that every possible option is unflattering. each time johnny pulls a dress from the selection, you cringe and shake your head. the sleeves were either too long or too short, the skirt was too flowy or too loose, or the color wasn't quite right.

"how about i pick one for you?" johnny offers, a little exhausted at how difficult you were being. "you just go sit in the dressing room, i'll slide you a couple dresses and don't think too hard about this. you'll look great in anything, my dear."

you agreed with his idea. maybe it'd be best for the celebrity that's known to dress nice to put you in something that'll definitely turn heads and keep you confident. it was unfamiliar territory for you, after all, since the last flattering thing you wore was a one-piece swimsuit on a beach trip with your family.

after some time of fidgeting in the dressing room, johnny slides the curtain aside and greets you with a smile, his veiny arm holding about a dozen dresses. he's got his iconic shit-eating grin as it seems he has something devious in mind for you.

"don't look so afraid," johnny shrugs, nudging you playfully. "i'll treat you right, pinky promise." he holds up the first dress, a flowy one with off-the-shoulder sheer sleeves. it looks like something out of a fairytale, and you're reluctant to deny his suggestion when he's cheesing so damn hard. you smile back and shove him back behind the curtain, giving yourself space to change.

you slide into the dress, catching it on your hips momentarily but pulling it past without tearing it thankfully. when you pull it up to your chest, it takes quite a bit of tugging, seeing as the fabric isn't as stretchy compared to what you're used to. when you fall silent as you try to pull the dress up, johnny assumes you're ready and slides the curtain aside, stepping in eagerly.

"how's it-" he cuts himself off when he gets a good look at you. you're flushed from trying to squeeze into the fabric, and your breasts (that he didn't even know you had) were spilling out of the front. his lips get sucked inward as you witness the gears come to a screeching halt in his head. his eyes may have been hidden from his sunglasses, but you know for a fact he's checking you out. "i like that one." his voice is too monotonous for him to truly be emotionless. it's like it's taking every ounce of his being to be normal.

"i don't," you mumble, continuing your fruitless attempts much to johnny's delight as your boobs ripple with each pull. "i can't get the stupid zipper up in the back, either."

eager hands shoot out to you as johnny takes quick strides to stand behind you. your front is facing the mirror, your hands resting atop your breasts and eyes focused on the man behind you. when his head tilts town to get a good look at the zipper, you notice his eyes are far darker than the typical warm brown.

his hands fumble tremendously as he tries to keep his shit together. he uses one hand to keep the parts together and the other to get the zipper sliding.

the sudden jerk catches you off guard and you're far from balanced. thankfully, your palms press against the mirror to keep yourself upright, and johnny lurches forward as his grip is pulled with you. his hands fly to your waist to ensure he doesn't topple you over.

you would have gotten up like nothing happened, and maybe apologized, but during the scuffle you felt something hard and warm through your skirt. johnny's nose is tucked in the nape of your neck when you fully realize your predicament.

as you sputter out his name to call him out, you feel his lips smile against your back. his hands loosen momentarily, but don't pull away.

"uh, sorry, doll," he mumbles into your skin, not sounding all too apologetic. "pretty girls in dresses just... gets me goin'."

"i'm not pretty," you mutter, averting your gaze. johnny lifts his head and looks at your reflection incredulously.

"you're joking, right?" johnny replies, brows furrowed. "babe, look at yourself." he grabs your jaw from behind and angles your vision on your body. "i didn't know you were carrying all this. i almost want t'take you out and get you a whole new wardrobe just to get you out of those garbage bags you're always in. pardon my french doll, but you're fuckin' hot." as he speaks, his hand snakes down your throat, your shoulder, and then settling firmly on your hip, not even hiding the brief sweep he made against the flesh of your chest.

you're left staring in awe. he was always charming around you, but never outright flirting. you glance toward the curtain; what if someone heard all this? you swallow thickly, moving back to look at johnny apprehensively. he's biting his lower lip, suddenly thrusting more against your body, letting a shaky breath as his face is now buried in the crook of your neck as he tries to hold it together.

"you got me all riled up seeing you in that, you know," he warns you in a husky voice that dampens your panties. "so you can't say you aren't pretty. feel what you did to me." the air feels intensely different than it was when you guys were just friends. he's confessing something he'd implied to feel for quite some time, but you never envisioned the day it'd come to fruition. you can't really say you were complaining when he pulls your hips toward him, letting him use your ass to grind down on ever so slightly. your stillness throws him off for a moment, and he looks up at you through the mirror with concerned eyes. "you don't seem into this. i can stop."

"n-no!" you yelp out, sounding a little more desperate that you'd like to admit. "this is okay."

"just okay?"

"well, no, but - i'm sorry, i don't know what to say."

"do you want me to stop?"

"...no."

"good girl."

he presses a little harder against you, keeping you upright and stopping your knees from buckling with his rough hands. abruptly filled with a primal hunger, johnny tugs the long flowing skirt up in bunches, gripping it tightly to get a glorious view of your ass. this interaction was not prepared for, so you couldn't help but feel flustered when your boyshort panties are fully on display. johnny just chuckles to himself as he grabs a shameless handful of one of your asscheeks anyway, squeezing hard enough to leave red prints behind. you bite down on your lips to stop any noise from coming out, but a moan of surprise slips through.

johnny wraps one arm around your midsection for stability, and the other flies up to your lips to hold his palm over your mouth.

"if you want this, you're gonna stay quiet, is that clear?" he growls into your ear, head tilted toward you but eyes fixated on your reflection's eyes. all you can do is nod. "i'll show you how fuckin' pretty you are."

he slides your panties down with ease, expelling a shaky groan when he watches a trail of your wetness follow the fabric. his cock is swiftly freed from his dress pants and he slides his throbbing tip against your folds, creating a sopping sound to the trained ear. if the store was quiet enough, the entire building would know how soaked you were for your best friend. all you can do is whimper and gasp as your noises are muffled by his hand. johnny leans forward and gently shushes you, lips brushing against your ear.

"you can do it, princess," he assures you in that husky voice before holding intense eye contact in the mirror. "you look so good like this, don't you think?"

your pupils were blown out and your cheeks were stained a deep red as you're bent over for the actor. you didn't feel pretty, still. you felt... needy.

you pressed back against his cock, and it slips between your folds before catching on your aching hole, making you twitch. the sloppy friction makes johnny moan against your skin as he hungrily matches your movements. he slides his hand down and toys with your clit, wetting the area with your own juices which seems to be plentiful. he sticks two fingers inside, not bothering to ease you into the process at all. he needs you now, and if "now" is in a clothing store, then so be it. your pussy burns from the sudden stretching, but you take it because it makes him happy to see how eager you are for him.

"i should've put you in a dress sooner," he mutters, hazy eyes staring right through you as he relishes in the way your walls embrace his fingers. "you look beautiful, my dear. angelic. i wanna ruin you so bad, baby, but i can't. not here." his words already bring you closer, but as you feel the tension building inside he leaves you empty and sopping... but not for long.

his tip slides in with ease, and he has to bite down on your bare shoulder to stop himself from losing it entirely. it's the first time in a long time a pussy has been too good for him. he's stuck his dick anywhere and everywhere, but you take the cake. his bite deepens when he slowly but surely bottoms out, his own knees buckling at your gorgeous insides.

"mmf, so fucking good," he groans into your flesh, eyes clenching shut. "my pretty girl. all mine, yeah?" you nod lazily, too entranced in the fact that his cock is buried inside of you. you'd had sex before, but it had been quite some time. years. and his dick just felt impossibly big.

"i could stay like this forever," he mumbles, almost forgetting to thrust. you remind him quickly when you shake your ass needily. "ah, but i shouldn't. you deserve to feel good."

he pulls out slowly, admiring the thin coat of juice painting his shaft before thrusting back in. he's careful to move just enough to hit deep, but not enough to make the slapping sound too obvious.

"there you go," johnny encourages you as he starts to slowly pump into you. "you take me so well, so pretty with my dick buried in you."

you almost wanted to pinch yourself to see if you were dreaming. just yesterday, he was your duo in your favorite game. and now, he was fucking into you in public. the thought makes you dizzy and you have a hard time keeping your head upright, that is, until johnny pulls your face up to the mirror again, still muffling you with his palm. you want to say you're the one enjoying it most, but that might be johnny. his once cocky demeanor is now down the drain as he fights for his life to not cum with every second of friction. you were just so good, he's already pussydrunk. he seems to be living in his own heaven when he lazily peppers kisses and licks all around your back, neck, and shoulders, breathy whimpers and moans warming your skin up nicely.

his thrusts grow increasingly sloppy as he completely loses himself against you. his eyes are swapping between you and him in the mirror as he admires your wetness dripping down your thighs and splattering against his own front. he would be mad you were ruining his nice clothes, but he's just going to buy another suit with you anyway.

"you wanna cum on me, doll?" he huffs into your ear, letting go of his fear of the slapping noise and now progressively slamming into you harder and harder. "let me feel it, baby, i'm real close."

johnny's arms readjust, one snaking under your armpit and over your shoulder, and the other rhythmically swirling circles against your clit. what once was hungry groans is now turning into needy whimpers from the both of you as you cum simultaneously. your lower half feels warm as he cums deep inside of you, watching it drip and splatter out with every finishing thrust. your vision becomes tunneled as you see stars, head thrown back as each throb from the orgasm makes you forget you're in public entirely.

he holds you both there for a moment, breathing in your damp skin. you both feel dazed, but incredibly satisfied. johnny kisses your cheek from behind, dancing his way to the corner of your mouth and then captures your lips in a messy, brief kiss.

"you know i didn't need a dress to want you that bad, right?" johnny asks against your lips, his fingers brushing against your bare thighs. "i really do think you're beautiful. always have."

you nod, taking in a quick inhale of breath to gather yourself. "i wasn't sure before."

"well, i hope you are now," johnny chuckles, and kisses you again. "at least, i hope so - hey, hey -" the embrace stops as he steps back and notices his semen dripping down your leg. "don't get that on the carpet. and definitely don't get that on the dress. we're buying that one for the red carpet-" he checks his watch. "-that we're late to. shit."

he doesn't really regret it.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #johnny cage #mk1 #johnny cage x reader #johnny cage smut #marley writes ☆

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ang3lofdivinity · 5 months ago

Note

Haiiiii!! I have no clue if youre taking requests or not, but I was wondering if you could do general relationship hcs for Riley (if you’re comfortable ofc!)

╔══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╗

“ 𝖨𝖽𝗒𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖼 ”

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

︶⊹︶︶⠀୨୧⠀︶︶⊹︶

Relationship(s): Riley Andersen + GN!Reader (both platonic and romantic)

Format: Headcanons + small stories

Genre: Fluff + A decent amount of angst

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, Inside out 1-2 movie spoilers, emetophobia, panic attacks, little oc insert other than that- none!

Author’s notes: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR ONE OF THESE. AAAAAAAAAAHAHEHJEHAJAHSH. Guys, I love inside out 2, I’m seeing it tomorrow again. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I made you a bit of a recluse in this, so i’m.. very sorry - Playlist recommendation (not mine):

Side note: Idyllic - extremely happy, peaceful, or picturesque.

Platonic:

Definitely one of your best friends.

She’s so sweet 😭

I wanna say you met her shortly after she was introduced into your class, when she was 12. You probably moved to San Francisco as well, but probably from at a younger age- like 5 years old.

You learned earlier on to understand the environment and adjust to it (even with how different and altering it was to you). You’re used to the same routine everyday, the same things everyday, and many things haven’t changed since then. You’ve definitely had trouble with friends even after being here for so long, though, it doesn’t matter- you were weird, at least to everyone around you. They never liked the fact you were.. primarily reserved. You were teased about it, nothing too severe, until it turned to bullying.

It’s…hard. The idea of being alone for the rest of your years here in middle school and then being alone in high school as well because they remember the recluse you were—

Well, until the new student arrived.

Riley Andersen, a girl who moved here from Minnesota with parents.

..If I’m being honest, it hurt to hear the pain within her voice after talking about her life in Minnesota, how she would play hockey from such a young age with her parents.

Though, it definitely took you much longer to actually talk to her, and go up to her. You’d definitely give her longing glances, seeing how lonely she seemed. And you understand, you’re in that very same position.

When you did introduce yourself however, she seemed a bit aloof about the whole situation. And you were patient.

“..Is this seat taken?” The nervousness in your voice was obvious, even with how much you tried to mask it. Tried to control the shakiness of it as you stood next to the dull, wooden picnic table. The blonde, with her head in her hand slightly looked up at you, surveying you for a moment before resting her head once more.

“..No.” She quietly replied.

“Did you.. wanna sit here?-“

“YES!— ..Yes, if that’s okay with you, of course!”

YOU EMBARRASSED YOURSELF. NONOJKOJOBO. GODDAMNIT. THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GOOOOOOOO.

“Make yourself comfortable.” You could definitely hear that she was at least attempting to be optimistic in her tone, which you silently appreciated.

Quickly sitting down, you placed your tray in front of you and attempted to find the most comfortable position to sit in.

“..So, you moved here- from Minnesota, right?”

“Mhm.”

..Dry reply. But- that’s okay! You understand why.

“It’s nice to know someone else who’s similar to you. I moved here myself as well, though it was.. a few years ago now. I’m sure you’ll at the very least like it here.”

“Oh- shoot, sorry um.. I’m (___). Riley, right?”

“..Yeah. Riley Andersen.”

You didn’t miss the small smile she gave you.

YOU HAVE ACQUIRED A NEW FRIEND LIFE-LONG FRIEND! :DD

Well- of course after some causal conversation about interests, hobbies, etc.

The two of you exchanged socials so you could keep in touch, and the two of you started talking more often during school and out of school, planning stuff for future hangouts and such.

It was genuinely nice to talk with her and get to know each other’s interests, and your bullies at school seemed bewildered at the fact that you’d actually grown more confident to go out and make friends. Even if it was some new girl like Riley.

Though when she started distancing herself, giving dry responses such as: “K.”, “wtv”, “lol”, “bye.” The repetitiveness of this had gotten you worried to the point you couldn’t even think of anything else but possibly losing your new friend. You just met her!

And this dryness eventually turned into ignorance on her end.

Of course you were going to be a bit of a worrywart over your friend, you had no idea what was going on in her head— you just wanted to help her in any way possible, and the nagging feeling that was gnawing at you due to this was impossible to ignore any longer.

So, you texted Riley when you noticed she was online one day: “Hi Riri! I’m sorry for the sudden message, but I’ve taken note that you’ve been leaving my messages on read for a bit now, and as much as I can understand wanting space from social platforms, but I would at least like to know if you’re okay. So, I wanted to request a video call or a meetup, so we can talk about everything going on, and you can speak your mind. I just want to talk to you, please.”

Apart of you wanted to wait for a message, but the other part of you wanted to close your laptop and hide in the corner of your room.

Though, you couldn’t pick fast enough given the fact Riley had already started typing her reply- given the fact you could see that she was.

“Call, ig. Whenever.”

..You instantly called the moment you got the chance.

“..Riley?” You quietly spoke up shortly after your friend had picked up the call, the laptop resting in your lap as you stared at Riley through the screen.

Riley seemed more despondent than you had seen her before, as she avoided any eye contact with you. The way your heart felt like it was sinking to your stomach-

“Riley?”

“I’m fine, (___). That’s what this call is about, right?” She spoke so bluntly- you probably would’ve thought you were talking to someone entirely different if you didn’t see Riley’s face, or recognize her voice you’d grown accustomed to.

“Riri- no, well- yes.. but that’s not the only thing! I want to know if anything’s bothering you. You know you can always tell me anything going on.” You interjected, shocked of the situation which was unfolding before you.

“Oh yeah, right.” …She rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious!”

“I can tell you’re lying to me!” The way she yelled at you, looking at the screen- the way her eyes were filled with such hateful vitriol made you physically recoil, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Did you do something to deserve this? Did you say something weird?? Maybe she’s just going through something and is so pent up because of it! But- with the way of how this conversation is unravelling, you really don’t think this is how this is gonna go.

With furrowed eyebrows, you frowned and surveyed her expression once more.

“You don’t understand what’s going on. You could never! And it’s not that you would even care anyways.” Riley continued, looking away from the screen once more before she tossed down her laptop onto her bed.

You really had no idea where any of these ideas were coming from.

Have you just not been a good friend? You’ve tried. You’ve tried so hard to be kind and courteous with your friend, you’ve tried so hard to genuinely help her, but it seems like all of your efforts are going to waste. Perhaps you didn’t try as hard as you thought in order to be a good enough friend who was worth hanging around with, worthy of love and being able to not beg for attention or seem needy.

Maybe they were right.

That you’re better off without any friends, that nobody would want to be your friend anyway.

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes.

“..Whatever.”

“Riley- wait-“

She closed her laptop, ending the call.

…what do you do now.

There’s no way to describe the next few hours during those moments.

You were up in your room, pacing, feeling a growing headache starting to blossom like a poisonous flower of sorts.

Nothing yet everything was going through your head at the same time, did she hate you? Was she going to drop you? What if you never see her again?? Would she hate your guts and actually try to humiliate you the next time you see her during school, or any other time?

Your breath hitches at the thought and you move yourself back up against a wall. Your parents weren’t home, they’re out probably galavanting around. It felt like blood was pounding through your ears, the feeling of a heart became unbearable and uncomfortable from the fact it was beating so fast, thudding against your chest. Your back slid against the wall as you curled up into a ball, hands shaking- entire body trembling. It just continued to get worse, whatever this was, as your vision became disfigured and distorted, as if you were looking through a fish-eye lens. You swear you felt your chest feel tighten, coupled with the fact it felt like bile was coming up your throat.

It felt disgusting.

All of it, you felt so sweaty, you felt filthy.

This is pathetic. (You don’t understand what’s happening.)

But you can’t move your body. It feels so stiff. The feeling of cotton in your mouth making you unable to speak, the heavy sensation of your limbs, the way the lights are too bright for your eyes now- it feels like the room os starting to spin, with the walls closing in, and the ceiling pressing down. You can't breathe anymore. You can't even scream as much as you wanted to at this moment.

The scariest thing about whatever’s happening still stands:

You have absolutely no clue what to do.

It makes you feel powerless. Weak. Pathetic and worthless.

Just like it does with the events that just unfolded with Riley.

And it makes you too tired.

Too tired to keep yourself awake.

Desperately, you find yourself trying to find some source of comforting within the rising heat of your own body, even with what’s happening. The tiredness begins to wash over, even with all of these feelings still present, and it genuinely makes you feel worse than it should. Everything about this feels wrong. You should be able to handle this- not freak out over it.

But you can’t help it.

You don’t know what else to do.

. . .

You don’t know how long you were passed out for.

But you realized that you’re on your bed right away. You found yourself turning on your lamp, before hastily starting to look around for a moment, around for your laptop. The moment you found it, you opened it, the time was the first thing you saw on the screen.

1 am.

You passed out for 2 hours.

Your parents must’ve come home and put you in your bed. Theres still lingering effects from whatever happened earlier, like a throbbing headache- and your eyes are incredibly dry, along with your throat.

It takes you a while before you slowly close your laptop, and shakily arise from your spot on your bed, finding yourself going downstairs to get a snack and a drink. Everything felt.. fuzzy, in a way you can’t describe. Derealization is a better way to describe it.

In languid movements, you grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge, and decided to make yourself some simple microwaveable ramen.

Sitting there at the dinner table was awkward.

It felt lonely.

Depressing, even.

You attempt to distract yourself by drinking your water and focusing your attention on the outside sky, and the time on microwave.

You made sure you stopped it before the alarm went off.

Slowly eating, just.. wanted to not think about everything going wrong.

But you couldn’t stop it. You couldn’t do anything. You only made things worse, no?

Nothing else eventful happened during your time downstairs, and you finished up your food rather quickly, before cleaning up after yourself. You took your plastic water bottle with you, back to your room. Closing the door behind you, you placed the water bottle down on your nightstand before getting back into bed, the dim lighting allowing you to focus on your computer screen better.

A new message alert popped up on the screen.

It didn’t say who it was from, as you were just about to put in the password. The message left as fast as it appeared, and you barely saw it.

…

You quickly typed in your password, the screen resuming back to your chat logs with Riley. Where the new message was. You scrolled down, and saw the lengthy message in its entirety.

“(__), I know you’re probably asleep right now, but I know you’ll get this message when you wake up and I can’t get rid the guilt off of my consciousness because I’ve been thinking all about it ever since the call, but I’m so sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be so rude, or accuse you of anything. That wasn’t right of me. I have not been going through an easy time, and I don’t wanna divulge that all to you right now, but perhaps in the future when I’m not so tired and emotional? But, I understand that you’re going to be upset with me over the situation, and may no longer want to be friends with me. If you do, I won’t hold it against you. I just hope you can forgive me eventually.”

You could feel more tears well up in your eyes.

Riley was currently offline, though. She probably went to sleep.

But you wouldn’t just not leave her without a response. So, you got to typing quickly.

“Hey, it’s okay, Riri! I understand. There’s absolutely no way I would leave you as a friend, you mean so much to me that I don’t think I can believe a future without you being there as my first friend. Of course we can always talk about it later, but don’t feel pressured to do so. I’ll let you know again that I won’t pry information out of you, I’ll only be there to comfort you in anyway I can! You’re my best friend, Riri. I care so much about you, okay? Never be scared to tell me anything. (Sorry for the fact this is really short, I am so tired and have a headache- lol.)”

You two eventually talked about the whole ordeal eventually.

Overall, you two are inseparable!

Now, if we’re going to time-skip a bit to now where you’re also friends with Bree and Grace, you’re all still inseparable.

Maybe you play hockey- maybe you don’t, and play a different ice sport (ie: Ice Skating).

Nevertheless, you’re all incredibly good friends. You schedule hangouts as often as you can, understand each other, open up to each other, learn interests and hobbies you’re all interested. You enjoy each other’s company.

Bree is a great listener, and she actually sometimes will partake in some of your hobbies with you while you’re also doing them, even if she has no idea what it is. Like, if you’re drawing, she’d grab her own sketchbook and start drawing herself! (Though, neither of your drawings may not be good, you appreciate it). If you do actually play in a different sport, such as Ice Skating, you’d probably try and teach her some different moves- though she’d fail miserably. She’s at least trying, and that’s what you appreciate! Silent time with her is something you also enjoy having with her, because she’s one of the most comfortable people to be with (no offense to the others).

Grace is probably one of the funniest people in the group (not that the other two aren’t funny, its just that she’s so out of pocket at random points that it’s so perplexing yet, hilarious). You all could be silent for a moment while eating something, and then she says one of the most BEWILDERING things ever in human history. It shocks all of you to the CORE. (Don’t lie, we all have this one friend). If you tried showing her some moves in Ice Skating, she’d probably get some right. Though ultimately, she’d be decently stiff and fail in the end. But failure is a learning stone, not something to look down upon! She’s your favorite person to be around if you wanna get your hair braided or laugh so hard you can’t breathe.

Now, back to Riley. Even with Grace and Bree, you two still hold the closest relationship, given your guy’s background, you two talk the most to each other. You’ll blabber something about one of your interests, and she’ll add onto it, and then it’ll be a back and forth of questions from her and answers along with fun facts from you. You even got her into doing some of your hobbies from time to time! If you were to show her some moves in Ice Skating, she’d just admire. SHE WOULD NEVER DO IT. She would be too anxious, and freak out before even doing anything, so she just gives you a thumbs up. Though, if you implored a bit, she’d definitely give in and absolutely FAIL. (None of these girls know how to Ice Skate). Nevertheless, she’s one of your favorite people overall, and you care about her tons.

Now if we fast forward even more towards the end of the Inside out 2 movie, to where Val and her friends come into play..

Val is a gentle, yet firm person. Even with the age gap, you both are stille good friends and care for each other. She’s more like a mother figure to you, but still. You two managed to find a few hobbies the both of you enjoy that you both partake in whenever you can/are available, to which you both take great delight and joy in. Both because you enjoy each others company, but because you can relax and don’t have to worry about conversation, because if you/her want it to be silent- it’s comforting, but if you/her wish to engage in lighthearted banter about anything in general, it feels natural and genuine. Not forced, like you two have to keep talking, but that if you want to, you can! If you tried to show her any Ice-Skating moves, she’d definitely be the best at accuracy and skill. What can I say, she’s a woman of many talents! (She still fails). The best person if you need someone to go talk to. #ibelieveintherapistfriendvalortiz.

Romantic:

Yk this girl is so anxious.

I feel like her love language is acts of service. Ngl.

Taking everything from the platonic area as a prequel to this, she definitely knew she had a crush on you the moment she actually started seeing so many things about you that she hadn’t noticed before or really taken attention to: Your smile seemed much more genuine, your eyes had this small shone to them she originally didn’t see, the way you were by her side when she asked to console her- rubbing her back in circular motions, hugging her firmly yet softly.

….WHAT IS HAPPENING. HELP. WHAT DOES SHE DO???

WHAT IS THIS FEELING.

Amia is behind the console, and accidentally made her so confused with this sudden romantic attraction. (IM SORRY, I WANTED TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO BRING HER UP).

She definitely starts trying to get closer to you as possible, scheduling more private hangouts for just the two of you- such as picnics, hangouts at her house. And she would use the fact that Grace and Bree wouldn’t be able to make it to her house at the time to her advantage/as an excuse.

Though, the downside is the fact she’s too anxious to even speak to you half of the time. Too anxious to genuinely do anything- even get closer like she originally intending.

..She eventually asked her parents for some advice. Which, may or may have not been a good idea.

Even with that, they still did help in their own way.

So the next time you went to leave your house for whatever, you’d discover a letter at your doorstep. The next day after that, flowers and chocolates. Though they weren’t expensive gifts, they were something.

You noticed that Riley actually started doing things for you before you even asked. You were about to ask her for a glass of water whole the two of you were relaxing at either her or your house, and she’s already handing the glass. You were about to ask her to pass her one of the ingredients you needed while cooking, and she’s already placed it into your hand. Trying to open the door? She already opened it for you, about to leave? She’s got your bag for you before you leave, full of everything you could needed. It’s gotten to the point where you’re actually a bit scared of her intuition.

Perhaps you may have had a crush on her too? Who knows. You decide, after all.

It’s.. hard to pinpoint when this whole ordeal started unraveling, but nevertheless- you felt very… odd at first. Why was she doing all of this for you? A part of you wanted to say that it was all just her being extra friendly on accident and that it meant nothing- but another part of you thought differently.

But the idea of someone having a crush on you felt absolutely and utterly absurd, ridiculous, and incredulous!

You two are just friends! (Just friends.. okay, right/sarc).

She would.. never think of you in romantic sense, there’s just no possible way. (De Nile is a river in Egypt🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️/ref).

(OMFG I NEED TO STOP. IM GIGGLING TOO MUCH AND BEING IMMATURE. But it’s silly).

Nevertheless, you just.. cannot accept it as true. It’s just some actions, it’s nothing that serious! You’re over-analyzing and overthinking it! Stop thinking like that!

..But it doesn’t go away. The itching sensation in the back of your brain never leaves. You’ve started to think about it 24/7, and as much as you try to push it down and say you’re overreacting, it’s still there- even diminutively. It’s. Always. There.

With the more time you spend trying to rid of the suspicion and feeling, you’ve started noticing little things about Riley yourself: The way she looks at you just a little longer than anyone else with a look in her eyes that is indescribable, the way she waits for you at the door as you pick up your phone and holds it open for you, the way she leans closer to you whenever watching any movie- and perhaps in a too intimate way. Like, she gets too close and rests her head on your shoulder, nuzzling herself into your neck ever so subtly.

..I think it’s safe to say you’re getting attracted to her.

ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE’S PLAYING AT A HOCKEY GAME AND SHE WALKS UP TO YOU LOOKING ALL PRETTY, WITH THE WAY THE SUN REFLECTS OFF OF HER SLIGHTLY DAMPENED HAIR-

…

Yeah, yeah you are.

You’re blushing so hard at the realization of what the hell is happening right now. And you’re way too nervous to tell her anything. You even found out she was the one who left those small gifts at your doorstep. How?

Well..

“I’ll go get us some snacks from downstairs, ’ll be right back!” Riley’s voice sounded out, and you looked up from her sketchbook you’d been using with her permission!with a small smile on your face as you nodded in understanding, before she rather quickly shuffled out of the door and downstairs. You went back to doodling on the sketchbook.

You were just going to pay attention to what you were going to draw next, you saw a small piece of paper sticking out on another page.

..you should not be prying- but, perhaps she drew something!

The excitement filled you as you flipped to the page, where you were meet with no drawing of any kind. But instead, there was a note which was ripped. It was written rather quickly, and the confusion of what you were seeing quickly filled you. But looking at the first few lines had you shocked and blushing like crazy.

‘I had given them a few gifts to leave on their doorstep like my parents..’

Instantly, you closed the sketchbook all together, head racing with so many thoughts at the same time.

She was the one who left those gifts?…

You couldn’t believe it, at all.

Perhaps it was for a different person? (But it was too similar).

What the hell were you supposed to do now????

Wait for some sort of date from her?

Or ask her out yourself?

Both would be.. nerve wracking, but you knew you had to make a move soon, or you probably would never have another chances. You felt scared, more nervous than you had ever before in your life, but you seriously thought that there was going to be no other option.

You had to do it sooner rather than later, in fear of what would happen.

Especially with the possibility of ruining your relationship, you’d take the risk. For the both of you. This way, you could learn if she was truly being more friendly to you for some reason or for none at all and she simply felt like it.

But then another problem came up:

You had absolutely zero idea on how to ask someone out.

..what do you do now.

Well, you at the very least- knew it had to be romantic. Something genuine. None of that faux stuff!

So, you decided on a rather fancy picnic, that appeared to be more of a tea party instead of a small picnic with the fact that you wanted it to be much more different…

There was a large glass table with an umbrella stuck in the middle and unfolded as to keep those safe from the bright sunlight, delicately covered with an embroidered lace cloth.

Upon the table, there are an array of delectable snacks and drinks, carefully arranged. Elegant porcelain teapots, each filled with a different fragrant tea, sat alongside dainty teacups with gold-rimmed edges. Platters of finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam.

(You don’t remember how long this took, given you used old antiques and cleaned them so many times- just in case, and made all of these foods yourself. You borrowed the fancy table from your garage and cleaned it down, given it hadn’t been used in years, and brought some simple- yet fancy looking chairs from your house as well).

And you spent quite a bit making sure the letter you sent to Riley was perfect.

You were sat in one of the chairs, dressed in one of your most fancy outfits. You didn’t want to look foolish during this, after all- you made it all look this fancy for a reason!

It was a nice day out today, given that it wasn’t very cold or too warm to be uncomfortable. The sun was on the horizon, and the moon was rising as the stars started shining within the soft colors of pink and orange in the sky. Honestly, it felt more like a dream that this was happening.

And the way you’re genuinely panicking internally-

“(___)?” You heard someone speak up, and you turned your head to look at..

Riley, who was in her fanciest dress, you noted., Though you know she’s not one to dress so formal unless it’s an important event. The dress was white, right above her ankles with a floral design embroidered into it. Even on the slightly puffy sleeves. Though, she was still wearing her converse, with plain white socks to match. Her hair was styled into topsy tail ponytail from what you could see, and a flower clip in her hair.

“Why, don’t look rather ravishing!” You immediately said without another thought, and she blushed at the remark.

“Thank you- you look great yourself!” She nervously laughed while smiling, blush growing on her cheeks. A moment of silence passed between you two, before you spoke again.

“Well don’t just stand there, come sit with me.” Riley instantly became stiff, before nodding and scampering on over to the empty seat in front of you. You gave a lighthearted laugh before subconsciously wiping your hands down the sides of your outer garments.

The two of you stayed in somewhat awkward silence before striking up conversation with one another, talking about the things you did- not including anything.. personal (fangirling over one another) But, instead things you weren’t together for, like actives you did with family, or games/practice you had. Riley even commented on how well made and delicious the food tasted, which made you blush HARD. You were so giddy, yet so anxious at the same time- you felt the need to throw up.

“Thanks again for inviting me.” Riley spoke again before taking another bite of her macaroon, as you simply nodded. You’d found yourself going quiet as you continued to eat your food and sip upon your favorite drink the fancy, porcelain tea cup.

..how were you going to confess your feelings to her after she finds the little note stored in one of the macaroon? How will she react? Will you be able to speak fast enough? Will she accept this, or hate you for the rest of your time together as friends???

Your body was tense as you thought of all the horrible ways this conversation could go after she-

“Oh! Cool, some of them have little fortunes- like fortune cookies!” CURSES.

Riley’s face changed from one of joy, to one of perplexity as she read the small piece of paper, before looking up at you with the same look.

She could definitely see how pink your cheeks were.

REACT, IDIOT, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IMBECILE FOR JUST SITTING THERE!

“..(___)-“

“Riley Andersen, will you be my girlfriend!!?” You slapped your hands over your mouth the moment you said that. The words spill from your mouth like word vomit so quickly you had no time to react while you were saying it, only afterwards did you truly realize what you did.

Her mouth went agape, blinking a few times as she simply stared at you in shock, before her expression changed to a softer one and smiling wide.

“Of course.”

Now, isn’t that banal?

But it’s the way that it happened.

(Side note: you’ll never get to know what the slip of paper said 🫶😋)

Nah it was just some rhyming, and cringey poem that would continue with you saying aloud ‘Riley Andersen, will you be my girlfriend?’

You two are both very awkward to show each other any sort of affection in public, or in private at first. But; it started with Riley slowly- trying (and, failing) to be subtle, holding your hand in public.

Grace and Bree are the first two people you three told about your relationship after you got together the other day. Val being the third.

The more comfortable you get, the more you tell other people, like Riley’s Parents.

They definitely would take you to those Pride parades to show their support, ik it. Prove me wrong rn.

Nevertheless, all of them are incredibly supporting of your relationship!

The more comfortable you two get in the relationship, the emotional and touchy you get (not in that way 🤨).

Like, more hugs (back-hugs, random hugs, etc) between you two, more cheek/forehead kisses, cuddling for the first time, first time kiss, etc. The whole spiel.

Now… on the topic of the first kiss..

It happened at her house while it was just the two of you. Her parents were off at their jobs, and it was summer break. How it happened is.. decently embarrassing. She was leaning in to give you a cheek kiss, until you turned your head in her direction, purely for the reason you were going to ask her a question. It wasn’t until your lips were both connected did you realize what was going on.

Safe to say that both of you were blushing messes.

Grace and Bree tease you often about your relationship, not in a rude way- ofc, but in a friendly way. Val, gives small remarks from time to time, but they don’t mean anything rude by it!

Your relationship overall is pretty healthy, even with some small arguments here and there, and might even struggle with some miscommunication.

Your guy’s relationship though has its ups and downs, like any other, but you’ll always try your best.

For Riley.

Your wonderful girlfriend <3.

. . .

“All we’ve been able to think about is (___) this entire week!” Disgust exclaimed, not necessarily in a bad way, but moreover in a.. realization kind of way. Looking down at the console, which was a deep pink color.

“Isn’t it wonderful!? (___) is so lovely… WE COULD THINK ABOUT THEM EVERYDAY from now on! They’re so kind, sweet, beautiful, and so much more!!” Amia beamed happily while clasping her hands together.

“Says the Love Emotion..” Fear remarked quietly to himself, before sipping his tea. That quickly earned a glare from her, which had him running off in a hurry.

“It’s good though! It proves we’re a genuine partner, and that we’re truly smitten with them!” Joy added, ruffling Amia’s hair as the smaller emotion giggled.

“..They can never be boring, you know?” Ennui, leisurely laid on the couch, said. Laughing a bit.

“BUT, What if they think we’re being too much of an overbearing partner though!?” Anxiety yelped aloud, jumping out of her ‘special’ chair to run up to the console, as if looking for tanything that could be a sign or anything possibly wrong. That only lasted for a moment before she backed away, flapping her hands and pacing around.

Joy stared for a second, smile dropping before sighing, shaking her head in disapproval and a softer expression taking over.

“They could never! They love us, Anxiety. They’re being genuine. Just look at Riley and (___) together right now.” The emotion’s hands rested upon Anxiety’s shoulders, gently leading them towards the console to stare at what was happening with Riley at this very moment.

Riley and (___) were happy with their current circumstance. Genuinely contempt. They were currently star gazing in a nearby park, the moonlight’s soft rays of light hitting the couple’s faces, as if it were a true person- caressing their faces ever so gently. Their hands intertwined, and focused on each other, along with the stars to witness their own date. They really could stay like this forever, leisurely sitting in the lush grass near the jagged rocks of the lake to which the light was reflecting off of against the moving waves.

(___) rested their head upon Riley’s shoulder, eyes slowly closing from the tiredness that’d accumulated over the day. And hesitantly, she leaned her head atop of yours.

They were really here. It wasn’t just some wild and crazy dream that dream productions crafted, but instead it was reality, the meticulous reality that now Riley and (___) live with.

It really was idyllic.

This took so long… i can confirm because my phone is lagging so much while typing all of this + my Acheron!reader.

WHICH IM WORKING ON I PROMISE

Enjoy my blood, sweat, and tears(PLEASE. PHONE IS LAGGING SO BAD)

157 notes · View notes

popponn · 1 year ago

Text

summary: tidbits of them (and you), in no particular order. (aka, random headcanons of the boys in a relationship)

notes: bullet hcs is hard for me because i like paragraphs way too much, but i really like reading and writing short stuffs too. think of this as a stretching and a break, nothing serious, also i wanna try this format too ehe. warning: none, just fluff of bllk boys as bfs. written with post canon/pro au in mind. reader's gender unspecified.

character: isagi, rin, sae, bachira, chigiri, kaiser.

yoichi likes to wake up earlier than you. there is a certain feeling of seeing you under the dim light of dawn, bundled in a blanket and facing towards him. his eyes are still heavy, of course, but looking at your face—you could be drooling, snoring, or squishing it against the pillow—and all of sudden his brain is fuzzy mush full of cotton. it's a bit embarrassing, but having that routine every morning really makes him ready for anything.

rin is the type of person who never uses emojis when he chats. actually, you are lucky if you get a reply that is more than five words. but if you are creative enough, you might get a heart or sad face emoji from him. middle finger, if you are unlucky. don't screenshot it or spread the heart emoji to his teammates though. baby boy has a reputation to keep.

sae will honestly let you do anything you want, most of the times. might judge you loudly through a silent stare, yes—but if anyone tried to do anything funny or, god forbid, hurt you, the question is whether it was worth angering him or not. the answer is always no, by the way, this guy is pretty brutal in his wording already. getting him pissed with you involved is just asking for a mental scarring.

meguru has this habit of leaving a trace of you or himself in each other belongings. his shoes? oh, yeah one of the shoes' shoelaces actually belongs to yours, he switched it the moment you bought it. your phone case? look at that, his sign and photos! he also got yours in his by the way—will show it off daily and speaks to it after a prolonged vitamin u deficiency.

hyoma is proud and shameless enough to demand you help him style his hair every day. you are bad at it? don't worry he is patient when it comes to you, you will learn. and if you somehow figure out this is some scheme to get you to play with his hair every day, standing behind him while he quietly etches every detail of your face to his memory—no you don't.

michael whenever he just wakes up is the most honest, most dearest mihya. as in go, ask him to say 'i love you' three times with no reason or anything at all, and as long as you use a sweet tone he will do it, no question asked. might throw a hissy fit once his brain fully kicks in though, so record it so it will be worth it at least.

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bitchslapblastoids · 12 days ago

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Prompted by your post about dnp inviting audience interaction: it /is/ really brave, and so interesting! I haven't been watching them for long at all and one of the biggest things that just drew me in and deeply fascinated me about them is how so much of their work (not just on stage) is in some way a conversation/interaction with their audience and the more you watch the more you notice it. No wonder its easy to be parasocial about them and about the Phandom itself!

To me, at least, they seem to be the sort of performers/creators that need a relatively high level of audience interaction in order to be inspired or for their work to feel meaningful. Like, im absolutely sure they could also create things without this close relationship with their audience but it seems to be what their naturally drawn towards? Obviously the problem has been in maintaining boundaries within that but it seems like that's going better now than at some points in the past, which makes me really happy for everyone!

Sorry about the long yap, this is so interesting to me and I just needed to express it a little

(original post referenced) yes!!! i love this!!! so beautifully worded! no need to apologize at all - i am in such hearty agreement and actually think about this so often. i think the engagement with their audience is their superpower, and it runs so deep. what was one of dan's favorite things about phil before he met him? phil's interactive adventure videos, in which he was creating an interactive experience for his viewers.

when they film pinof1 together, what are they doing? they're answering an audience-submitted q&a. the audience interaction is literally baked into their foundation! <3

2010, dan's uni dorm. what's displayed behind him on his wall? art and letters sent to him by viewers. he films danmail vids where he opens and reacts to said art and letters and personally thanks the senders.

for years and years and years, what's at the end of every phil video? fanart! draw phil naked! (in retrospect literally so weird lol but shhh)

the ongoing avalanche of vyous and younows and tumblr reblogs/follows and responding to yt comments and retweets and and and. so much interaction. the videos directly engaging with twitter and tumblr creations. they see us, they know us, they get us.

their first book? included a double-page spread with dozens of pieces of phanart.

every single one of their tours has multiple essential audience interaction components, and even more brilliantly, with multiple different access points that are perfectly calibrated to their audience. too shy to speak up? send in a submission ahead of time. want to be a part of the masses? shout something out during the audience participation segments! and there's always the likelihood that they'll include fanart in the show itself, casually mention an actual actively popular fic, throw in an ancient phwedding manip, or just build whole segments of the show around our tropes and the world that we created with them. all of that keeps things exciting and engaging on stage, bc you never know exactly what's going to come next. but it also keeps their audience feeling seen, valued, and like co-creators in a way.

When you look at the other britcrew and big yters from the 2010s, they simply weren't generating that ongoing, authentic conversation with their audiences. their approach followed the simple format of: i post, you watch. and then it became: i post, you watch, then i try and sell you something while i call you my 'community' because you are all watching me and sometimes you talk to one another in the comments. but it's not like zalfie or joe and casper etc. were chiming in on the convos too, or at least not in any meaningful way. it wasn't a community in the same way.

dan and phil truly built community. i think communities require mutual exchange, communication, a sense of value and worth, commonly agreed upon truths, shared experiences, touchstones of connection, and leaders who have integrity. i know this is all starting to sound a little lofty, but i really do think dan and phil are good humans who have worked hard to wield their power and influence responsibly and compassionately. they set the tone for us, constructed this world, paid attention to what landed for us, how we responded to things, everything that we were up to in response to what they were up to. they listened. they made us feel seen and celebrated and appreciated, and in turn we continued to celebrate them. they created weird inside jokes, we adopted them, then we all shared the weird inside jokes. they existed, we created our own language and lore and encyclopedia in response, and now there's a whole stage show about it.

that's how you get people sticking around for 15 years. that's how you get people to actually want to spend money on you. and yeah, some more boundaries at times couldn't have hurt. they fostered a sense of proximity and entitlement that obviously put them in harm's way. but i'd say ultimately what they've manage to do has been a net good for them and a tremendous success.

you raised such a good point that it seems to be what they are naturally drawn towards. i think it's because they, too, were fangirls. phil was writing buffy fic. dan was running a lost wiki. they both understood the power of online fan community before they were the titans of their own. they get it, they get us <3

#dan and phil #don't think there are any tit specific spoilers in this #me yapping #you said 'let me submit a nice lil anon message' i said 'HOLD MY BEER'

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hiveworks · 1 year ago

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Interview with Mad Rupert, author of Sakana

September 2023

Sakana, the story of life and love in a fish market, is coming back from its hiatus soon! The strip comic style webcomic began in 2010 and follows Jiro, Taisei, Yuudai, and Chie as they navigate their relationships and learn to face their feelings. We asked creator Mad Rupert, author of Robber Robert and artist of Bunt!, for an interview to celebrate the series return.

Read Sakana | Shop books & merch | Read more Hiveworks comics

Sakana has been your baby for 13 years. What has the webcomic journey been like for you over the past decade?

It really has been over a decade, hasn’t it! There have certainly been ups and downs, periods where I was updating as much as I could, and also long hiatuses. I feel like webcomics have always been an amazing space to practice my craft and stretch my writing and drawing skills alike. You can kind of do anything you like with webcomics, and oftentimes people come up with wackier, and imho more interesting concepts than if they were beholden to a large publisher. Not that I haven’t made my fair share of traditionally-published comics and graphic novels… but there’s just something so gratifying about coming up with your own wild story and working towards its end on your own time. Webcomics are incredibly tough and time consuming, but also the ultimate form of self expression.

What is the origin of Sakana? What made you want to tell this story?

Sakana actually started as a class project when I was a junior at the Savannah College of Art and Design. I had been accepted into the Sequential Art department’s yearly Japan trip to study comics and cartooning in Tokyo for a few weeks, and our final project was to create 11 comic strips based off of something that made a strong impact on us during the trip. We had visited the old inner market (now demolished) of the Tsukiji Fish Market at 4am one morning, and it was the most incredible place I’d ever been, so I decided to craft a short story that took place in the market. Beyond the first 11 strips, I decided to continue the story for as long as I could as a way to practice the comic techniques I was learning in class. That was over a decade and 600 strips ago! It really has become the most ambitious project I’ve ever undertaken.

Do you have the ending already written? Do you see a conclusion in sight?

Yes! I’ve always had something at least resembling an end in mind throughout most of the comic’s lifespan. For a long-format comic like SAKANA, I think it’s very important to have a rough ending planned out as early as possible, otherwise it becomes difficult to keep the narrative moving in a satisfying direction, drop little tidbits of plot that will pay off later, or even maintain your enthusiasm for the project. To be clear, the details of Sakana's “end” have changed many times, which is only natural with a very long project like this. But I’ve always kept crucial details the same: basically certain characters in a certain place at a certain time doing certain things (to keep from getting too spoilery haha.) HOW they get there, WHY they’re there, and WHAT exactly they’re doing will ebb and flow as the years go by and I myself get older and older. But having a general sense of the end in mind has kept things moving all this time. The story’s got one more volume to go, and then I’ll be done!

Your hiatus is a result of working on a traditionally published graphic novel, coming in 2024. Is there anything you can tell us about your book?

My new graphic novel is called Bunt! and it’s a collaborative effort between myself and my dear pal, Ngozi Ukazu (author of popular webcomic Check, Please!) Ngozi wrote the book and I drew it, and we’re both really proud of what we’ve made! It’s already available for preorder all over the place and it will officially be out in stores in February 2024. We’re really looking forward to getting out there this fall and winter and spreading the word about it!

You recently successfully completed a Kickstarter for an 18+ comic, Robber Robert, as well. What is it like balancing these different narratives, genres, and mediums of publishing comics?

It’s definitely been a struggle at times to balance everything, and I definitely don’t recommend working on 3 giant projects at the same time! I finally had to admit that I couldn’t do it all at once, which led to me putting Sakana and RR on hiatus to finish Bunt!, and then keeping Sakana on hiatus while I finished up RR. I really burned myself out on comics for a while, and it’s been a huge struggle to get myself back to a good place with my work. Finishing Bunt! and RR Chapter 1 has really helped reenergize me, but I can always feel myself trying to overload my work schedule again and again. It’s my greatest weakness as a professional artist.

What keeps you inspired?

Making something for myself, practicing my craft, and putting my own stories out there are all huge driving forces in my life. Learning to stop overwhelming myself with work has also helped a lot. Looking back on all the art I’ve made and all the different things I’ve tried makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to, so long as I give myself the time and space to enjoy the process.

Do you have any webcomic or graphic novel recommendations?

I’m a big fan of anything fantasy or sci-fi, especially if the narrative approaches the fantastical elements in a weird, unique, and kind of gay way haha. My favorite manga is currently Delicious in Dungeon, but I’m also a fan of historical series like Golden Kamuy and Bride’s Story. For webcomics, I love anything by Evan Dahm, like his long-format series Rice Boy and Vattu. As for Hiveworks comics, there’s too many to list individually but my current favorites are Fairmeadow by KP, and Tiger, Tiger by Petra Nordlund.

Any advice for new readers of Sakana?

I would say…despite its high page count, it’s not that long of a read! The strip format keeps it moving at a pretty quick clip when read all at once (but it certainly didn’t feel like that over the last 13 years updating one page at a time!) I know that the format and the black and white rendering might feel a little dated in the current era of Webtoons and full-color stories, but I’m too stubborn to change now, and I really appreciate anybody giving it a shot! Also, no matter who you are, or how much you dislike him in the beginning, Yuudai will probably be your favorite character.

You can read Sakana for free at sakana-comic.com and print books are available at hivemill.com

#sakana #webcomic #comic #webtoon #hiveworks #blog #interview

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acowardinmordor · 3 months ago

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The muse of angsty plot bunnies who only visits when I’m trying to go to sleep has arrived. Wretched thing.

Omegaverse secret identity recluse mildly scent-mate situation here.

Pulling from a base I used for something else, Eddie was with Chrissy, hanging out for the first time. She was convinced someone was following her but never saw anyone and thought she was going crazy. Goes to Eddie because he looked scary but shes desperate, so she asks him if he can get her a gun. He definitely cannot, but he does have drugs. Meet up later that night, a young Henry really was stalking her; she’s killed in Eddie’s trailer.

Eddie is the only suspect no matter how much he swears there was someone there. Eventually the state throws the case out. Never even goes to trial because there was dna under her nails that didn’t belong to Eddie, and the DA dropped it.

It doesn’t matter. It was one of those highly visible cases because the pretty young omega and the super senior alpha? Of course he killed her. Everyone knows that.

Eddie becomes a recluse. Barely even talks to his uncle because he doesn’t want to get his uncle tied up in the hatred the town has for him. Very, very occasionally, he goes into town, keeps his head down, and gets out. Usually goes super super early in the morning.

Enter Steve. Omega, moved to town with his family not long after the murder. He saw all the press coverage, knows the name, knows the face, but has never met or spoken to Eddie. He’s working some awful job with Robin, and from time to time, he’ll catch just the barest trace of a scent he wants to follow. It’s unpredictable though, and he’s never managed to find them. He’s not even sure if whoever this alpha is has ever noticed Steve’s scent.

After a few months, Steve happens to get scheduled for an opening shift on a day Eddie is there. Before they even make eye contact they both have that sudden moment of “oh, I found them.”

Then they actually see each other. Eddie sees a beautiful omega he immediately, instinctively knows he would love forever. And Eddie sees when his potential perfect mate recognizes him. The hopeful smile collapses, and Steve backs into a display as he tries to get away from him. Eddie runs.

And Steve… look. He’s a romantic. He always wanted to find a scent mate, but it’s not like this is a one time thing. It’s more like a stamp of approval from the universe that it’s a divine requirement. He could have another chance. You know, not with a violent murderer.

Eddie makes sure he won’t cross paths with Steve again. Doesn’t even have a name, just a tiny moment of hope about this omega, but he knows that hope is DoA. Smothers it.

Not long after that first encounter, Steve starts getting a weird creepy sensation. He feels like he’s being watched, but never sees anyone. Robin keeps an eye out too, but nothing. Obviously Robs knows about that encounter with Eddie, and they both, logically, assume that’s who’s watching.

They even dig into some of the less publicized I formation from five years ago, and see the notes from Chrissy’s friends that talk about how scared and paranoid she was.

Proof positive, right?

Stobin talks to Hopper, one of the few people in town who is confident that Eddie Munson, once arrested for trespassing because he got high and wanted to hug the kittens at the shelter, did not kill anyone. He has a duty though. Visits Eddie, who honestly is not doing great. Then add in Hopper asking questions about whether Eddie’s been following Steve? Yeah. Eddie’s not having a great time. All he can think about is what Chrissy told him back then.

So Eddie, a fool, and desperate not to let someone else die because he failed to help them, starts actually stalking Steve. Only as security, but yes, technically it’s stalking. Steve is increasingly terrified, Robin is worse.

Worst of all? Every time Steve smells any trace of Eddie, he gets all Omega-y, and emotional, and he yearns. He isn’t going to go court a murderer, but his stupid omega instincts don’t care.

I don’t know the steps between, but this is obviously heading towards Henry coming after Steve, wanting the same thing as before. He wants to steal an omega, and this time, has a plan so he won’t have to kill his chosen when they fight him. Maybe Robin is there when it happens. Maybe Steve does get grabbed at first, and she runs to Eddie because she now knows it wasn’t him. Maybe she wasn’t there and when Steve goes missing, she goes to Eddie to find Steve. Maybe she’s there but before Creel can do anything, Eddie arrives.

What matters is this. Eddie has spent five years hating himself, simmering in failed alpha instincts, and now a potential omega mate is in danger? He’s definitely going to do something stupid about it.

#steddie #eddie munson #omegaverse #bedtime angst #Idek #I’m not gonna reread now #maybe in the morning #just occurred to me that it hurts more #if it is a true soulmate thing #where this is Steve’s only chance #and he thinks if is soulmate is a murderer #Steve must be a terrible person too

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andy-wm · 5 months ago

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hey andy, loving your posts recently; was wondering what your take is on why jikook chose to film their trip and share it with fans instead of just traveling on their own? any thoughts?

Hey Anon, thanks for the ask and your kind words :)

I have a few thoughts on this actually!

After a conversation with my semi-ARMY, BTS loving, ride or die Jikooker (with caveats) bestie (yes, it's complicated but I fully support their right to choose a safe place in (or not in) this fandom that serves them as an individual 💜), I took a moment to think about how often Jimin and JK get to spend time together.

(Tldr: not often, so they take what they can get)

I think their choice to share their trips with us hinges around a few things -

Contracts, MS rules, group hiatus, ARMY, schedules, and (hopefully) themselves.

BTS renewed their contracts not too long ago and those contracts would have specified certain obligations and opportunities for each member, in line with the planned group hiatus and MS.

It looks like, with the new contracts, they all signed up for heaps of individual projects. Everyone seems to be doing at least one album, a live performance, a documentary, a guest appearance/collab, an episodic format media project, and perhaps some sort of idol-ajacent work like endorsements (or maybe in Joonie's case the MOMA docent recording.)

I assume this series is their combined episodic media project box being ticked.

Why would they choose this and not a series like Jinny's Kitchen, or Suchwita?

Working independently on their own projects for the previous year would have meant their schedules didn't necessarily align too often. Although I have no doubt they would have made time to see and support each other (Jimin going to Qatar as an example), it would have been hard to be apart when they're so used to being together.

Seeing that they had the option to take a sanctioned trip together as a couple best friends, it makes sense that they did that instead of filming a scripted /directed program in a studio with other random cast members and more schedules to try and work around.

In all honesty, the likelihood of them getting the chance to get away together on a personal trip would have been slim, i think. No time for that!

Assuming I'm right about the contracts, if they didn't take this opportunity, they would both have been involved in other projects to meet their obligations. More schedules, more time apart, more energy spent interacting with random strangers (we know they don't love that).

Three trips away together! What a boon!

And all they need to do is be themselves.

They have done so many similar projects - Now series, Bon Voyage, ITS, and even JK's GCFs... This is relatively easy for them. Plus it's a 'tried and trusted' format that ARMY loves.

And they're so used to having cameras around them, and they know the staff so well, that i don't think the presence of a film/support crew would have significantly detracted from the fun they had.

The time they spent together would have been a blessing, especially before they knew the were successful in the companion bid. And speaking of that, they could not have had these trips unless they were work-related due to MS regulations.

They still have this bizarre idea we might forget them. Hilarious, right?

We all know that the reasons they do these programs are first financial (keep those army dollars rolling in) and second, fan engagement.

Reality type shows are the best for an authentic connection to these guys, and we love that. We don't need much more than them being and doing and exisiting, for us to be happy.

Just quietly, I dont think Hybe really realise how easy we are. I'd watch jimin scroll on his phone and occasionally laugh, or yawn, or eat a snack, and I'd find it endearing and a worthwhile use of my time.

In summary, this series is a gift for us, and easy money for Hybe, its a win-win.

And if Jimin and JK have fun and get time together, its a win for everyone.

💜🏕💛

#park jimin #jeon jungguk #jikook #kookmin #국민 #true love #jikook are you sure #jikook camping trip

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fox-guardian · 5 months ago

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okay one person said yes so here's the vampires and werewolves ramblings from my little original story with lila and redd that i still don't have a name for

THE BIG VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES RAMBLE LET'S GO

the vampires and werewolves are mostly typical in their appearance, methods, and weaknesses, just to slightly different degrees. the sun won't immediately incinerate a vampire, but it will give severe burns much faster than usual that could definitely kill one, just much slower than being incinerated. werewolves develop an allergy to silver but are about as easily murdered with a silver bullet as with a regular one so in that regard, not much of a difference.

the whole faith-based weaknesses thing is much. blurrier. i hesitate to explain it away but let's call it varying on a case-by-case basis.

also humans at large do not know that werewolves and vampires are real, they're more-or-less secret/hiding in plain sight

VAMPIRES:

i feel compelled to start with the social/cultural aspects that are focused on in the story.

vampirism is treated less as a disease or curse and more as a lifestyle choice by most vampires. due to the turning process involving drinking each other's blood and not solely being bitten, there's usually more consent involved in the process, so most vamps are turned by choice. we see this in the "support group" that turns out to be more of a fun club of vampires that redd attends, in which he is surprised to find that he's the only one that was turned unwillingly.

vampires who chose the lifestyle tend to come in a few different varieties: the people who are 100% down with all the vampire shit one way or another and are handling things well, the people who are mostly down but have hang-ups about certain things, and the people who Thought they were down and ended up unprepared for basically everything.

the amount of Discourse in the vamp lifestyle community is insane.

there's different ways that vamps go about obtaining blood. usually it's either via an underground blood bag market (ideally obtained from willing donors, but ofc sometimes not) or by finding live donors or "thralls" as some say. many vamps have strong opinions on other vamps' drinking preferences.

the most hardcore of vampires are either living with houses full of willing thralls, or scouring the streets for unsuspecting victims (which is deeply frowned upon in the vampire community because Come On Now Let's Not Put Up Neon Signs Saying VAMPIRES ARE HERE we're trying to be Subtle)

in any case, in order to not Die Of Thirst as a vampire, you need to be able to maintain regular connections of some kind. either with someone selling blood in bagged form (and then you need to verify the source of the blood if ethics is an issue for you) or you need to keep good relationships with any live donors (and ideally you'd have multiple to rotate through so that blood loss isn't an issue for their health) (this is difficult for redd because he can barely stand going grocery shopping much less going into a dark alley to ask someone for a blood bag or *shudders* maintaining long-terms pleasant relations with live donors he has to see regularly)

onto biology

[ID: A sketchy digital drawing of a upper set of human teeth with larger, sharper front incisors and longer, sharper canines. end ID]

the teeth resemble that of an actual vampire bat, and the proportions of the incisors and canines vary from individual to individual, though some vamps get dental surgery to shave the incisors down and/or wear additional fang caps to achieve the classic fanged look if they aren't lucky when they turn. this tooth formation is very convenient for multiple biting styles, depending on tooth size. either the "carving" method using the front incisors to make a single angled cut, or the classic fangs puncturing two holes. either way, the blood is then licked/sucked up via usual mouth methods (no tooth straws here sorry) the wounds caused by bites must be cared for via usual means (no magic healing saliva sorry). also the teeth usually grow into their final shape within 30 days of being turned

vampires can only subsist on Human blood. animal blood will tide their hunger and fill their stomachs, but will not nourish them as they need. if a vampire goes too long without feeding on human blood, they will enter into a Feeding Frenzy

the time it takes to enter a feeding frenzy varies, but the longest most go from their last human sip to the frenzy is around 1.5 months. and that is the absolute longest with animal blood as a substitute. without anything it takes Far less time.

symptoms of a feeding frenzy start soon. extra strong cravings for blood ofc, decreased body temperature, lack of energy, shaky hands, etc. the closer you get to the frenzy the more intense the symptoms become, and more start to appear, such as decreased blood flow to the extremities (mostly fingers and toes), various aches and pains increasing in intensity, seemingly random bursts of energy, and also the irises will turn red when the subject is exposed to blood or when the frenzy is around the corner as a sort of final warning. increased sensory sensitivity and abnormal behavior such as suddenly chomping on people and/or animals is also a thing.

the frenzy isn't officially entered until the vampire transforms into a giant bat monster. it is more giant bat than it is human, in appearance. it loses almost all conscious thought, relying only on instinct to survive, and will drink the blood of any person it can get its weird little wing-hands on until satiated (which will take. a very long time. historically they never found out the limit because they were usually mobbed and killed by then) there is no known cure for a feeding frenzy, only prevention. the prevention is just drinking blood regularly like you're supposed to.

vampires are also extra sensitive to light and have an increased sense of smell, but their hearing doesn't change much unless they have entered a feeding frenzy. also garlic won't kill them but they are allergic (to the flower also) and also regular food can be consumed but gives them the shits like you would not Believe.

WEREWOLVES:

once again starting with the social aspects, lycanthropy is treated more like a sickness or curse by most werewolves within the story. lycanthropy only requires either a bite or drinking the water from a pawprint to turn, so unwilling werewolves are more common (usually via the bite method obvs) (lila is an exception to this rule)

the group lila attends is a legitimate support group for people suffering with lycanthropy, and they treat it as a safe space to discuss all aspects of the disease. including the part where upon first turning, people usually turn violent in some capacity, usually due to fear and confusion, but occasionally due to rage experienced prior to turning having a fresh outlet alongside the fear and confusion (generally the story doesn't treat the killing of various victims as very serious, i'm taking more of a comedy route with that, so the support group is like "oh you killed and ate three people? i completely understand you are so valid for that")

there are also a few werewolf-made support apps to assist people throughout the lunar cycle. there's a big focus on self care and promoting Peace and Serenity around the full moon to ensure a safe transformation and minimal collateral damage. (yes it is basically a period tracking app. yes it is very gender euphoric for lila to have)

there isn't a lot that can be done to mitigate symptoms of lycanthropy, but there Are both scientist werewolves and werewolf allies working towards a cure

now for the biology

this is the part that i have less of. mostly because werewolf diets aren't that crazy i feel like. there is definitely an increased demand of meat, especially red meat, and raw meat is also now more easily/safely digestible due to a change in the makeup of the stomach acid!

werewolves transform based on the lunar cycle, but "mini" transformations can be triggered in high-stress situations as well. these include things like sudden fur growth, changes from hands/feet to more paw-like structure, and even facial changes and tail growth. however, these changes (even a full-body change) will not be as severe as when they occur under the full moon.

first transformations occur on the nearest or second-nearest full moon. like. if you get bitten the night before the full moon, you get turned the next cycle, there hasn't been enough time for it to set in yet. you have to wait at least a week. initial symptoms include increased body hair growth, extra cravings for red meat, increased aggression and territoriality, and an increased sense of smell. the first transformation is always the most painful, and usually pain decreases to what will become typical levels between the third and twelfth cycle. (there are werewolf meds/methods/life hacks/etc to help with the pain)

after the first transformation, certain permanent physical changes occur. the canines all become larger and sharper (you get four fangs) and the ears become longer and pointier, and the eyes typically experience a permanent color change as well, depending on the original shade. usually lighter eye colors like blue or gray will turn icy blue or white, while lighter browns might become more golden. darker browns and black usually remain the same. tapetum lucidum also. the whites of the eyes also turn black during transformation, but this is usually not permanent.

the big transformation itself involves a full-body change into a giant wolf-human hybrid, which can go from quadrupedal to bipedal fairly easily. speech in this form is difficult, but not impossible, mostly the voice just gets deeper and rougher. due to the energy expense of transforming, a great feast is recommended before, during, and after a full moon transformation (the biggest one during). obtaining large amounts of red meat every month gets costly and welp there's only so much the werewolves can do about that since they tend to keep things secret between them and humans. you're on your own there with obtaining it. hope you're friends with a butcher (or an experienced hunter who no longer has a need for the Large Amounts Of Meat he keeps from the deer he hunts for leather these days) (cough cough that's redd cough cough)

also, werewolf blood counts as human enough to sustain a vampire.

i thiiiink that's everything i have so far?? if anyone has questions/suggestions lemme know i'd love to brainstorm <3

#ramblings with major #how true that tag is today #lila and redd #cursing #hopefully this is coherent. ask me all the things if you'd like uwu <3

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trespresh · 5 months ago

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let me go, don't you ever

The first time he drinks from you while fucking you, he’s otherworldly.

+ reader: afab, no pronouns used partner: amab, he/him word count: 7.1k rating: explicit. very explicit. tw for basically anything you'd expect with deep nasty vampire sex: primal play, blood play, blood drinking, biting, rough sex (but with feelings!)… and a little cockwarming, as a treat

idk man I just write the fic I want to read about the sex I want to have.

This ended up being one of the big primal scenes I've always wanted to write but never had anywhere to put it. It is purely a fantasy put to words. This is a real plug-n-play style fic. It's xreader but the partner is not specifically described. You can copy and paste your favorite little guy in there, or just use this as a blank canvas and go to town!

This xreader style of fic is a first for me, and I'm still tbd on whether I'll post it to ao3. I think about scenes like this a lot just for my own uhhhh enjoyment, and I’ve just never actually written it down in this format before. I’m a little nervous but taking my own advice about no shame and no judgment ✌️ but also be nice to me lol

(tl;dr - It’s deeply self-indulgent pov primal vampire sex. There will be blood.)

The first time he ever drinks from you, he’s a little crazy-eyed and desperate, a few hours too many past the last time he drank anything.

You’ve talked about this before: how you’d like to try it, how he would too. Never specifics, never how or when. But right now, the air seems to crackle in the space between you, magnetic and intriguing, and you realize that you really want this now. Even as your eyes catch on the flash of his fangs when he licks his lips, you think, yeah.

You want this, and you trust him, and you want to help him if you can, so you ask, “Would it help?”

You can tell he’s trying hard to keep his eyes on yours, but he can’t catch himself before glancing down at your throat a few times. You watch him watch the pulse in your neck before he drags his eyes back up to yours. When he takes a step forward, you can’t help it—your heartbeat kicks up a notch.

“Easy, it’s just me,” he murmurs gently, like you’re a skittish animal, and you’re suddenly aware that he’d heard your heart leap. His eyes finally drop to your neck and hold there. “Yeah sweetheart, it’ll help. Like you wouldn’t believe.”

Your next breath is shaky. You know he hears that, too.

“Will it hurt?” You ask, quiet.

His eyes flick up to yours long enough for you to see a wave of red flood through them completely until they’re so dark they’re almost black. He steps close enough to lean down and nuzzle against your throat.

“A little,” he breathes, his lips brushing your skin in an apologetic kiss. His tongue comes out to lick along your pulse when it jumps at his words and touch. “At first. God, I’ll make it good though, I promise, please just—let me. Let me.”

His voice has a tiny, desperate whine to it, and you can only shiver when you feel the points of his teeth come to rest against your skin like he already knows you’ll say yes. When you finally nod just enough for him to feel it, you barely get the word “yes” out before his hand is coming up to the other side of your neck to hold you still, and then he’s biting down.

He’s right. It does hurt at first, but in a strange, subdued way. Like two small blades sinking into your neck, except they’re so sharp you barely feel it as they split your skin. The pain is almost sweet, somehow.

His teeth withdraw and then you can hear the soft, wet noises of his mouth and tongue on your neck; it’s hard to reconcile what’s happening with the pull under your skin, the strange suction as the blood is pulled from you. It’s like he’s working you from the inside and out—the hot slide of the blood in your veins before it passes through the holes into the equally hot slide of his tongue and down his throat.

It’s far more intimate than you expected. Visceral and primal, somehow, this new way you’ve given your body to him.

You can’t help the strangled gasp you make, and when your hand raises up to grip his arm, he pulls away immediately. That shadowy pool-of-blood color fades until you can see the sharpness with which he watches you, scanning you over. You feel a trickle of blood trail down your neck; when you lift your hand to wipe it away, he snags your wrist out of the air, threads his fingers through yours, and brings your joined hands around to rest at the small of your back. It’s a gentle way of holding you in place, firm enough for you to relax into.

He ducks his head and licks over the skin on your neck. The idea that he’s cleaning you up should maybe gross you out but it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it sends something swooping through your gut, fever-hot, and you realize—oh, fuck, you like this.

When he pulls away from you, you stare up at his face as you’re hit with a strange sensation on your neck—as if the skin is knitting together somehow, closing up and scabbing over. You raise your free hand up to check your neck only to feel half-healed skin instead, as if the pin prick holes are already days old. He grins when you look back up at him in confusion.

“The venom has, uh, healing properties,” he answers your unasked question. “Apparently it's how enough venom can turn someone. Healing the body before it can ever break down enough to die or something, you know?”

You swallow hard at the casual tone in his voice. You don’t want to think about him dying but you don’t know what to say, so you just nod. He watches you carefully for a moment before sliding a hand up to cup the back of your neck and pull you in for a kiss.

“Are you okay?” He asks against your mouth.

Again, you nod. “I’m okay. It was—” you search for the right words, trying to ignore the way you feel the healing wound pull slightly when you swallow hard. “—nice. It felt… not good, but uh. Intense, I guess. Deep.”

Your cheeks heat a bit but he only smiles and hums in understanding.

“For me, too,” he agrees. While he tilts his head to kiss under your jaw, you wonder idly what it must be like for him, to bite into flesh and drink the hot liquid lifeforce underneath. You’re thinking about what the texture of blood might feel like, when he sighs into your skin and adds, contemplatively, “You’re sweet.”

You flush happily with the endearment. “I just wanted to help.”

He meets your eyes again, smiling wickedly. “You did help. Very much. But I meant you taste sweet.”

Your heart pounds again at that, and he hums and taps a finger against your pulse to the beat.

“Yeah,” he says thoughtfully, distractedly, more to himself than to you. “Like burnt, melted sugar.”

You don’t know what to say to that, and he seems to know that. He leans down to kiss you again and says, so quiet you barely hear him, “Thank you.”

And you can’t help but relax into him.

The first time he drinks from you while fucking you, he’s otherworldly.

“This seems like overkill,” you say, trying not to laugh as you sit on the bed, watching him line water bottles, a bowl of fruit, and a package of your favorite cookies on the nightstand. He’s already put a towel down next to the bed. “You’re not a blood donation center, you don’t have to give me cookies.”

He throws you a grin and shrugs. “I don’t know what this’ll be like. I’ve never done this before and I just, I don’t know. Need to make sure you’ll be okay.”

“I’ll be fine,” you say, fond despite yourself. “I trust you.”

It was you who finally asked for this but he hadn’t taken any convincing, so you get the feeling he’s just been waiting for you to bring it up, to make the first move. Now that it’s going to happen, his need for preparedness and eagerness to do this right for both of you is endearing. The pillows are soft when you lean back against them, letting your knees fall wide and enjoying the way he watches the movement.

“Come here.”

He pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it aside before crawling over you; you get your arms around his neck and pull him down. He meets you easily for a kiss that doesn’t take long to turn filthy with your gasp when he gets a hand into your hair and tugs gently, and his tiny moan when you nip at his lower lip and meet his tongue with yours.

Without pulling away from your lips, he snakes a hand down to the inside of your knee and pushes your leg open to make more room for himself. He settles his hips just under yours and thrusts up, and you can’t help but rock down in return just to feel him start to harden and press against you through his sweatpants. A gasp escapes you into the kiss when he nudges against your clit through the layers of clothing.

When he pulls away, his hand falls from your hair to rest at your throat.

“Here,” he says quietly, tapping two fingers on your pulse there. His other hand trails up your knee and stops at the top of your inner thigh, where he taps two fingers again. “And here. Okay?”

Your heartbeat picks up immediately and you know he hears it but you don’t care. You swallow hard against the lump of anticipation lodged in your throat, meet his eyes, and nod.

“Good,” he says in a low, pleased tone that sends a happy little shiver down your spine.

His hand leaves your throat so he can lean up on that hand like he needs a better angle—and then he kisses you again like that will distract you from the way his other hand slides up from your thigh to dip under the waistband of your shorts, like it’ll stifle the little noise of surprise when he cups you with his whole hand, curling his fingers down and into you only to the first knuckle. You arch up into his hand as he flexes his fingers to tease between your hole and clit. You’re wet enough already that he can gather some of it on his fingertips and drag the wetness up over your clit, where he circles lightly a few times before dragging his hand from your shorts. He smirks at the way your breathing goes high and quick just from the brief feel of his hand on you.

“Tease,” you huff, and his smirk widens into a grin.

“You think so?” He says, mock thoughtfully, as he sits up and tugs your shorts off your hips, all the way down your legs until he can throw them off to the side. And then he’s shuffling back on his knees, dropping both hands to the insides of your knees, and spreading you wide for him. He spends a few moments just looking at you while you try not to squirm.

It’s uncomfortable, and yet somehow it sends fire through your gut. You can feel his gaze like a tangible weight. You’re not sure if you like the way he’s openly studying you or not, but you want to be what he needs, so you hold still and let him look. You shift a little when he runs a finger lightly right down the very center of you like he just wants to test what you feel like. You shiver, and then he leans down, presses a kiss to the inside of your upper thigh, and lowers his mouth to you.

Your skin is so heated that his mouth feels almost cool, and you moan when he tongues at your clit in a touch so gentle that you writhe up against him, seeking more until he weaves his arms under your thighs to clutch up at your hips and hold you down on the bed. No matter how hard you arch up against him, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s stronger than you. If he wants you held down and open for him, then that’s what you’ll be.

You know you’re lucky because not only is he good at this, but he enjoys it. You laugh breathily at the reminder of that fact when you feel his fingers at your hole—only for your laugh to cut off in a sigh when he slides a finger into you. He immediately crooks his finger up and pets right over your g-spot, as if it’s second nature for him to make you feel good with how well he knows your body by now. As if it’s his goal and his right to watch you throw your head back against his pillows.

And then he buries his face against you and groans softly like you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted.

You gasp at the vibration of the enthusiastic noises he makes. Your hands drop to stroke through his hair, pushing it back from his face so you can watch the way his eyes go half-lidded up at you, his mouth working, forearm flexing as he works another finger into you. The way his nose is crushed against you sends the heat of his heavy breaths in waves over your skin and you are so lit up, up, up for him that you just know you won’t last long with his fingers in you like this.

Or his teeth, you realize as you become aware of the feeling of him rubbing two fingers into the skin of your upper thigh. Your clit throbs between his lips when your heart hammers, remembering what’s about to happen, and suddenly you want it so badly you can barely breathe. Either your anticipation is contagious or he’s already as eager for this as you are, because he licks a final, slow stripe up from where his fingers are pressed inside you up to the top of your clit, which he sucks briefly, humming just for the way it makes you arch up and moan—before he finally lets go to trail kisses over to your inner thigh instead, his fingers still moving inside you.

It’s thrilling, the way he nuzzles against your thigh like he’s savoring the feel—or smell?—of you. When he starts to suck a bruise into your skin, it’s like a tiny electrical current fires up your thigh and into your clit, down through to where he’s still fucking you on his fingers. He curls them up to drag against your g-spot so perfectly that you sob and try to twitch your hips up every time.

By the time he licks over the new bruise and shifts his mouth just a little lower to a clear patch of skin, you’re feeling dizzy in the face of your looming orgasm. You’re so ready for his bite, so eager to find out what it feels like, that when he scrapes his teeth over your skin and looks up to meet your gaze, you’re nodding before he even asks the question.

He asks anyway. “Are you sure?”

“Do it. Please, I’m ready,” you say, because you think you are.

When he bites through the thin, sensitive skin into the flesh of your inner thigh, though, you can’t help the whimper that escapes you or the way your fingers tighten hard in his hair. It’s the same razor-sweet sharpness you’ve felt in the past when he’s bitten into your neck or your wrist—only here, while you’re naked and spread wide for him and already close to coming on his fingers, it’s like lightning jolting up through you. Like that thin electrical current that had formed alongside the bruise he gave you has now been amplified to a sparking livewire between your clit and where his fangs pierce your skin.

His head jerks a little in your hold when you tug on his hair, and his fingers freeze inside you when he pulls his teeth out, seals his mouth over the wounds, and sucks hard. There’s a breathless, still moment while he gets his first taste of you, and then his eyes glaze over with that eerie red-black color and he whines into your skin; he scrambles to get his free hand under your thigh and pulls you harder against his face.

With every heartbeat, you can feel the blood thrum through your groin, then down your thigh to pulse in thick rushes against his lips and tongue when he sucks on the holes he made in your skin. It’s a hot, liquid feedback loop that has your head spinning, and you clench down around his fingers because you’re close, you’re so close—

“Please, god, I’m so fucking—,” you babble through your open-mouth panting, so caught up in the way he’s playing with your body like he knows just how to curl his fingers and exactly how to twirl his tongue over your skin to make you moan and fall apart for him.

He sucks one final mouthful of blood from your inner thigh before pulling away, panting for air while your eyes catch on how red and wet his lips are. He licks a flat strip over the punctures—and then without waiting to make sure the holes have begun healing, he presses his face between your legs again. His lips close around your clit, sucking messily at the same time he fucks his fingers in and out of you, urgent and deep like he’s frantic to get you there, desperate to see you come.

It feels so deliriously good that you’re already teetering on the edge of your orgasm when he eases down onto his stomach between your legs; between one thrust and the next, he slides a third finger in alongside the other two, dragging hard over your g-spot with each stroke. After that, all it takes is one glance down at him to see the way his hips are grinding down against the bed like he’s so hard right now that he can’t help but seek friction—and then he’s pressing his free thumb to the healing puncture wounds on your thigh and you are launched over the edge into your orgasm.

It explodes through you so violently that you arch off the bed, gasping around a high moan and pulling him into you by your hold in his hair, grinding against his face as he moans and curls his fingers inside you and stares up at you, rapt, like he would rather die than miss this.

You can feel his heavy gaze the whole time you ride down the peak of your orgasm, his fingers slowing into long strokes that ease you through it. Finally, you tug on his hair when you’re twitching through the aftershocks and he pulls away from you, panting. He rests his forehead against your thigh while he catches his breath; finally he says, “Fuck,” and looks up at you with his normal, clear eyes.

“Yeah,” you agree faintly, reeling from the intensity of your orgasm and the memory of his teeth in you, his tongue working against you in such different ways.

You glance down at him, gently stroking your fingers through his hair. His eyes are lazy and satisfied from where he looks up at you between your thighs. His cheeks are flushed a pretty pink, his lips red and swollen, and his hair is growing messier by the minute from your wandering hands. You can’t stop staring at the way his mouth and chin are still wet with your slick and a little bit of leftover blood.

He looks good like this, you decide. Really good.

Movement catches your eye over his shoulder, and when you lift your head to look down his body, you see his hips still working against the bed like he’s not even conscious of it. It sends a strike of need through you so strong that you can’t help but tighten your grip in his hair and tug him up. He goes easily, crawling up your body to get his mouth on yours, and when you deepen the kiss, his tongue tastes sweetly metallic.

“Fuck me,” you say.

He nods eagerly, pressing his hips against yours so you can feel his hard cock through his sweatpants. You push at the waistband, tugging them down his hips demandingly, and he shifts back to pull them down and kick them off the bed. Then he’s naked and hard and kneeling over you, looking at you the way a starving wolf must look at an unsuspecting bunny.

It’s a heady feeling, having that intensity turned on you, so you bask in it and let him take over.

He flips you over with a hand at your side, then pulls you back toward himself and tugs at your hip insistently enough for you to understand—you lift up just enough for him to shove a pillow under your hips. He takes a second to position you how he wants you, hitching your hips up and back toward him. He pushes your thighs together and throws a leg over you so his knees are against the outsides of your thighs and he can really lean over you. You expect the feel of his cock nudging at your hole so you’re surprised when he slips two fingers into you instead, like he just wants another feel. It’s an easy slide; you’re slick enough, wet with his spit and your blood and how much you need him to fuck you right now, come on.

He pulls his fingers free, strokes that slickness over his cock a few times, and lines up. Even though you’re so keyed up and ready for him that you might spark and explode, you immediately clench down when you feel him press against you, throwing a smirk over your shoulder at him.

You know he likes it when you make him work for it, sometimes, and this definitely seems like one of those times; you know you’re right by the way he murmurs, almost playful, “Let me in.” He presses a little harder against you until you feel yourself start to give. “Come on baby, let me in, let me—fuck yeah,” he groans then when he pulls your thighs open just a little and thrusts against you just enough for his cockhead to finally pop in and he can slide in, smooth and sudden.

It’s so good you both moan with it. Fucking finally, you think, once he’s as deep as he can get and rocking his hips just a little to let you both get used to the feel of it. Then he’s slowly pulling back, back, back—until he’s all the way out again and huffing a low laugh when you whine at the loss. He presses his cockhead against you again, so close to pushing inside that it’s cruel, the way he’s holding you down by the hips when you try to rock back onto him.

“Easy,” he murmurs, and you’re about to snap back at the amusement you can hear in his voice when he eases back into you, slower this time like he wants to make you feel every inch.

You gasp and drag his pillow toward yourself, clenching your fists in it just to have something to hold onto. Once he’s fully inside again, he leans down to press a kiss to your shoulder. It’s sweet and still for a moment before he sits up, gets a tight grip on your hips, and starts to fuck you.

You drop your head and moan into the pillow that smells like him, arching your lower back just a little bit more off the pillow under your hips; you can’t help the high moan that escapes, louder, when he drags directly across your g-spot with every thrust. Just like that, you sink against the bed, loose-limbed and pliant in his hold, and let him make your body feel good.

It’s always easy to get lost in it with him—tonight is no different, but it’s more. You can’t stop the gasps and breathy moans that fall from your mouth; not now, not when you’re surrounded by him like this. Even when you turn your head on the pillow and stare to the side, you’re still surrounded by the smell and feel of him.

You’re aware, distantly, that he’s still holding back, and that he’s still so much stronger than you even know. But even so, he’s rougher than normal, fucking you in long, harsh strokes that jerk you forward each time. It’s not long before his hand slides all the way up from your hip into the back of your hair so he can yank your head back. He leans low over your back to nuzzle his face into your exposed neck, and when he breathes in heavily you realize—holy fuck, he’s smelling you. Your already-pounding heart starts to hammer against your ribs and you rock your hips back to meet his thrusts, and you can’t focus on anything except himhimhim—so ready for him to bite down that it makes you throb around him—

But then he’s slamming in hard once, holding for a few agonizing moments while you squirm against him, seeking friction with a desperate whine—before he’s pulling all the way out with a gasped, “Fuck!” and flipping you onto your back.

It’s urgent, now, the way he shoves the pillow under your hips and tugs you toward him. He shifts forward on his knees between your legs so he can pull your thighs over his, and then he’s leaning forward and burying himself inside again with a groan like even those few seconds were too long to not be inside you.

This new angle forces him to drag insistently across your g-spot with almost every thrust and you know immediately that you won’t last long like this. Your eyes roll back but you can feel his gaze on you anyway, watching while your brows curve in and how your jaw drops open on moans growing louder by the second.

He slows his thrusts into long, smooth rolls so that you’re held steady when he leans down to get his lips on your neck. It’s all you can do to hold onto his shoulders, and when your nails scrape down his back again, he shivers against you with a low moan.

“Tell me again,” he says, licking at your pulse.

You don’t hesitate. “Do it, please do it, pl—” you cut off in a strangled whimper when he gets one hand in your hair, tugs your head to the side to make room for himself, and bites down.

It’s blindingly, stunningly euphoric. His teeth split the skin of your neck so gently—such a drastic comparison to the way he’s fucking you—and you feel the way he sucks hard over the wounds all the way down into your clit. Your hand flies down to circle frantically over your clit, listening to his heavy breaths and the messy sound of his mouth on your skin, the wet noises his throat makes as he swallows your blood.

It’s too much, it’s all too much, it’s beautiful and horrible and deep and intense and you’ve never felt anything like this before as he fucks you hard and drinks from you and you love it—but then he licks over the puncture holes and pulls back from your neck to gasp against your collarbone. The holes on your neck ache as they stitch together, and you gasp against the sensation.

You can tell he’s close by the way he slides both arms up under your back to get a grip on the top of your shoulders and hold you secure against him. He ducks his head and his fangs re-pierce your neck through the half-healed holes—you’re surprised when it hurts more than the first time he bit you a few moments ago. You gasp and squirm against him but his hold on you is tight. He sucks at the holes for a brief moment then presses his tongue against them like he’d only needed a taste, before he drops his forehead against the pillow next to you and slams his hips against yours so hard you can hear it.

He wastes no time in launching into a brutal rhythm, and with his face down by your ear, you can hear every noise he makes—a breathy gasp when you dig your fingers into his ass to urge on every thrust, a choked moan when you tilt your hips up and clench around him. You turn your head enough that you can get your mouth on his neck, licking over the sheen of sweat there before you bite him back. Your teeth do no damage, of course, but the heartstopping little whimper he lets out nearly sends you over the edge right there.

He’s never fucked you like this before, so desperate and fevered like he wants to put you through the mattress—and you can’t think, can’t do anything but choke on each breath and dig your nails into his back and scrape them down his sides and shiver at the ragged, guttural edge to his responding groan against your neck. You do it again and his hips twitch; his breaths are coming high and quick and you can feel how close he is, so all you have to do is tilt your head to the side so your bloody throat is bared to him and let a soft, shaky moan out against his ear so he can hear how good he’s making you feel, and that’s it.

He presses his face into your neck with a choked-off groan, wet and filthy and smothered against your skin. His hands fly down to grip your hips and pull you down on him at the same time his hips jerk forward until he’s so deep it almost hurts—and he holds there, his hips just barely moving as he comes inside you.

Every tiny thrust is punctuated by breathy little moans while he uses you to ride out his orgasm, grinding in slowly like he can’t get close enough to you. Like he would crawl his way inside you if it were possible, if you’d let him, and you’re close—you’re so fucking close with the way he’s still rocking against you like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, and you’re right on the edge of your orgasm when suddenly his mouth is at your throat again; he chases a trail of blood sliding down your neck with his tongue before his lips close around the wound again and then he bites gently and sucks hard and your orgasm hits you like a tsunami, and you are gone.

You think maybe you scream a little, because he groans in response and starts thrusting a little harder to fuck you through it. It’s good, it’s so fucking good that right at the peak of it, your vision whites out and you wonder, far off and detached, about what this must do to your blood.

It’s clearly something great, you think dizzily as you start to come down from it all, because he’s still buried against your neck, licking slowly over the blood leaking from the bite.

“Fuck, you have no idea what it tastes like when you come like that,” he rasps, voice wrecked and with a faint whine that would sound like he’s in pain if it weren’t for the way he closes his mouth over the holes and sucks again.

You hum in relaxed satisfaction and bring your arms up around his shoulders, luxuriating in the skin contact and the grounding weight of him. You scratch lightly over the back of his head until he shivers against you. Your skin thrums, lit up and abuzz everywhere you’re touching as you breathe against each other.

After a few moments, his hands trail up from your hips. One gets a hold on one of your wrists from around his neck and pushes it down against the sheets; the other hand rests heavily across your collarbone.

He’s leaning on you just hard enough that breathing starts to take some effort, so you say, “Okay,” and tug on the back of his hair with your free hand.

He doesn’t pull back. You can feel the tip of his tongue working against one of the holes in your neck, dipping in just a bit until the sensation teeters on the edge of queasy pain. You make a strangled little noise but still, he doesn’t pull away from the messy wet heat on your neck.

“Hey, okay,” you mutter again, tugging harder on his hair and at the back of his neck, but it’s like he doesn’t even hear you. “Baby please, enough, you—you gotta—” your voice trails off in a weak slur and your grip loosens in his hair.

He’s been hesitant to bite you while fucking you ever since he drank from you for the very first time, and you wonder maybe if this is why. If this is what he meant when he’s always said, it’s… overwhelming. But you’d meant it when you told him you trust him with this—and even now when your mind wanders and your body thrums lazily while his mouth works at your neck, you still trust him to get himself under control.

After all, this is him. You trust him—you always have. You’ve known him for what feels like a very long time, both before and after he changed into what he is now. You’ve been figuring this out together: what works and what doesn’t, what he needs and how much he can take from you to satiate that need without endangering you. There have been a few moments of trial and error that led to learning where the line crosses over into him taking too much from you.

You like him like that, though, after those few rare times when he’s accidentally taken too much, leaving you woozy and exhausted. He gets sweet. There’s something protective and reassuring in the way he dotes, and in how he doesn’t let you lift a finger for a day or two after while you recover. He’s always kept himself under enough control before that it has never occurred to you to feel worried around him.

But now, while he’s got one hand flat across your collarbone and the other holding your wrist down to the sheets—now, while his lips work at your throat, the rush of blood so close under your skin as he pulls it from you and rhythmically swallows—now, as you realize you’re a little lightheaded, and wondering, huh, when did that happen?

Now, a traitorous little flicker of unease settles in your gut.

You push weakly at his shoulder but it does nothing; it’s like he doesn’t even feel it. His hips are still absently grinding against yours like he can’t help it, like despite the fact that he’s half-soft at this point, it hasn’t even occurred to him to stop moving. The hand on your collarbone trails up to grip your jaw, two fingers sliding into your mouth to rest on your tongue and hold your jaw open like a reminder to breathe—or maybe it’s just another way he wants to be inside you.

His fingers or cock, his tongue or teeth—it’s like he doesn’t know how to hold back from pushing his way inside anyway he can.

A stifled whimper escapes you as he hums into your skin and sucks unhurriedly. He’s holding you tightly, pressed down against the bed. Twisting under his grip does nothing to throw him, and trying to get your wrist free is a useless attempt. He’s strong—you sometimes forget just how inhumanly strong he is, when he usually touches you so delicately, with such control and care.

Right now, while you’re held down under him, still on his cock and with his teeth in your neck—you are forcefully and viscerally reminded that he is not human. He really could kill you like this, if he decided he wanted to.

The thought sends a rare jolt of curious fear through your gut. You’re well and truly caught under him—all his to do whatever he wants with. It’s an alarming, confusingly heated realization that has you twitching your hips up to meet his lazy post-orgasm ruts at the same time your heart starts to pound with instinctual panic.

You wonder distantly if maybe fear does something to your blood too, because only a few heartbeats after the thought crosses your mind, he’s ripping his mouth away from you with a curse and leaning up on his elbows to look down at you with rapidly clearing eyes.

He must see something on your dazed face because he curses under his breath again and his hand comes up to cup your chin. With his thumb on one side of your jaw and his callused index finger on the other side, he gently tilts your chin up and over to expose your neck fully to him. He hums and ducks close to lick flat and warm over the holes in your neck. To heal, not to taste.

You feel the same strange sensation as every other time—that same tickle of the skin knitting together and the blood flow stopping under the sore, healing skin. He keeps licking at you, cleaning the last of the blood from your skin before pressing a gentle kiss first to what’s left of the wound, then up under your jaw, then leaning up even further to press his lips to yours. You’re still a little faded and sluggish but you kiss back as best you can, and you know that when he pulls away with a soft red smile, you smile back at him with blood on your lips.

Your thoughts are fuzzy around the edges, your vision tunneling on him like he’s magnetized, your mind pleasantly blank as you watch him like you couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. He kisses your forehead, your cheek, your mouth again. When he pulls back, he seems a little dazed too in the way his mouth is open and pink, his eyes half-lidded and only half-focused like he’s high on whatever was in your blood.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps, an odd plea to his voice. “That was—fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how it would be. I could have—“ he cuts himself off and swallows hard. He ducks to check the healing wound on your neck like he’s making sure it’s still working. “Are you okay?”

You hum absently. He starts to pull out but you’re quick to tighten your legs around him, holding him close. “Don’t,” you mumble. “‘M okay, just… stay.”

He watches you for a moment before kissing you again. He could easily break your hold on him and pull away, especially with how weakened you are right now, but he doesn’t. He lets you keep him close and returns the favor, holding you tight and rocking his hips to push all the way back inside you. You sigh and settle back against the pillows to bask in the feeling of him holding you down, grounded and safe.

He leans up onto his elbows and reaches for one of the water bottles he’d lined up on the nightstand, cracking the cap before holding it gently against your mouth for you to drink. The berries from the bowl come next, and after feeding you a few, he settles back over you and sighs.

With his thumb running over your cheek, you drift.

Maybe it’s the blood loss and two really fucking good orgasms, or the way he’s still inside you, your legs hitched up around his hips while he takes care of you, but your fear is gone as quickly as it started. This is still him. He still looks like himself, tastes like himself, smells and feels and acts like himself. Still in control of himself, even if belatedly. It’s him, and you know you’re safe.

But in that single moment, that instinctual awareness shifted something aside in your gut. Yes, he is still himself, but that brief flicker of prey instinct was an unexpected, immediate reminder that he is not human. There is something other about him.

You knew this already, but now you know it. You’ve felt it in the strength of his grip around your wrists and in the close, fleshy sound of his teeth in your neck. And, startlingly, it’s intriguing. You are safe with him. You know this in your gut. You have no reason to be afraid of him, but… what if you did?

Flashes of what-ifs begin to crash through your mind: thoughts of him holding you down with all his strength, letting you thrash and fight against his grip until you’re too exhausted to hold him off from tugging your pants down and using you however he wants; the network of bruises his fingerprints could leave on your throat and arms and thighs, and the way they’d ache deliciously for the next few days; the way his back would look scratched bloody from your nails, and the sounds he might make—guttural growls and savage snarls against your neck as he fucks you like you’re both nothing more than animals.

What it would feel like if he looked at you with eyes red-black with wicked intent and said, run. How your heart would pound as he gave you a thirty-second head start as if you had any chance of outrunning him, as if he knew that the desperation that would build within you in those thirty seconds would flavor your blood so sweetly.

What it would feel like for him to hunt you down like prey.

It’s like the door to something dark and primal in your brain and your gut is slowly unlocking as you consider the possibilities of what could happen if he leaned into his natural instincts. If he acted like the apex predator he is.

You shiver. He notices and presses a gentle kiss to your hair.

“Your heart’s racing,” he says curiously. “What’re you thinking about?”

And really, how could you ever ask him for something like that?

You file it away to think about more later. For now, you simply squirm against him contentedly and say, “Nothing.”

He leans up on his elbows and says playfully, “I don’t believe that for a second,” but he leaves it alone in favor of giving you your favorite of all his smiles.

It's the big grin that always makes you smile and laugh in response. It’s a cheesy smile, overexaggerated and goofy, but you love it. It’s cute, how he squeezes his eyes shut and his nose scrunches up, but there’s something sweeter about this smile in the way he’s showing you all his teeth, the fangs prominent and obvious. Almost as if it’s to make you laugh as much as it is a show of comfort and gentle vulnerability. It’s an “I trust you to see me” reminder that makes your heart feel huge as your eyes soften on him.

You pull him down again to kiss the smile off his face, and again, you relax into him. Again, and again, and again.

#vampire sex

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