#and Loki being isolated again

[brsb4hls]

You know what real clowning is in regards to Loki?

That's me hoping Loki and Wanda will ever interact in the MCU.

It's not entirely impossible.

Wanda and Kang are the most powerful beings in the MCU right now (given that Wanda can be dug out of the rubble again, which, duh, she's clearly not dead dead) and there's a lot of speculation about Wanda and Kang being pitched against each other.

And since Loki is very much tied to the Kang storyline, well

[lokis-coconut28]

Unbound - Chapter 1: The Keeper's Bond

(Loki x Magic Female Reader)

(A/N) : Hi my lovelies! Apologies for my absence, I appreciate your patience with me...

*The last month has been particularly challenging. I continue to recover from surgery, I turned a year older, and I ended a near decade long relationship. As I continue navigating these emotions, I find comfort here, among you all, my friends 💚*

(I am hesitant to post this fic, it has lived in my drafts for quite some time. As a new writer, I'm scared to take on a multi-chapter fic! But - I hope that you enjoy where I'm going with it!) (It's not as elegantly written as I'd like, but indulge me...) & I am happy to be back! You all inspire me so much!

I appreciate your support and comfort now more than ever. Please have grace with any errors - I forgot how to write amidst the chaos and heartbreak...

Please feel free to drop me a message about anything/a pic of Loki or David Bowie (I'm currently chokeheld by Jareth)

Summary: Loki has been watching over you from his new throne... With his feelings on the line, he makes a bold decision to bond to your mind.

Word Count : 2.5k

Warnings: Slight touch of NSFW/Voyeurism in Ch 1

Happy Reading my Loves! 🖤

A throne, buried in the infinite void of space and time, was not what Loki had expected for his life’s purpose. Never truly wanting the throne, yet in a twist of fate, finding himself tethered to it for eternity, was an irony that laughed at him in an endless echo throughout the multiverses. 

Exploring realities in the palms of his hands was a delicate craft. The responsibility, accepting the intricacies of overseeing an incalculable amount of timelines without interference or interjection was no small task. Observation had become a makeshift game to Loki, honing in on a multitude of lifeforms, seeking out what connection he could from afar, cherishing emotions of plenty in the vast cosmos which thrummed through his hands. 

A new desolate reality, ever flowing, impalpable, washed through Loki. A sobering wave crashed into him over and over again, reminding him that this was life now.

In the darkest of hours, he allowed his head to lower and rest, obsidian horns digging deep into his temples, a torment unlike any Loki had endured before. Despite the stillness around him, an unrelenting gravitational pressure crawled around his head, eerily creeping into a chokehold around his neck. A force strong enough to extract tears from a god. 

The weight of the crown had proven to be heavy, in more ways than one. 

The pull of the timelines forged on, wrapping serpent-like, circling Loki’s wrists; binding him to the seated throne. 

The intensity of holding limitless lives extracted a toll on Loki’s physical form. In secret, he wished he could put the weight down - if only for a moment. Knowing he could not, knowing he was destined to this role for eternity - these thoughts spiraled in his mind, plaguing his thoughts like a broken record with every passing second. 

Attempting to shake the burden of eternal responsibility, Loki let his eyes fall shut, concentrating on the only thing that brought the god solace in his isolation. Locating you. 

Loki had observed millions of souls in his quest to pass time. Asgardians, Midgardians, creatures from planets and realms that in all of his centuries he had never once discovered. He found comfort in busying himself with watching the lives of beings across the galaxies, across time, into the promise of forever. 

Yet, in his observation of the entirety of space and time, Loki had never encountered a living soul quite like yours. There was something particularly special about you, a unique aura standing out as a bright star in the atramentous eternal sky. Loki felt an unexplainable pull to your life force - a pulsing chemistry, as though you were two magnets coming together in an unyielding draw. 

Curiosity propelled Loki’s focus to you, solely. You were a powerful enchantress, a formidable force to be sure. Intrigue, he decided, was the proper feeling he had for you… at first. It did not go unnoticed, the way you effortlessly wielded your own powers, harmonious with the mysterious magic you possessed. Unlike himself, unlike most everyone in the multiverses, Loki could find no other variants of you. Scanning all of the timelines, he quickly realized you were a one of a kind entity - a rare anomaly that captured the attention of the God of Stories. 

Loki shifted in the throne, straining his forearms as he found you within the malachite cordage that resided in his grasp. Using all of his might, he concentrated on your energy, barely able to locate you through a thick veil of unfamiliar magic. Adjusting his grip on the timeline, the veins in his arm thrummed, focusing deeply, eyes finally landing upon your form.

For the first time, he could see your face clearly as you walked alone, your breath puffing into a small cloud of moisture as you exhaled into the cold night. Your hair softly fell around your face, bouncing delicately in tandem with each footstep. The clang of your black leather boots echoed with each hurried stride as you made your way across the damp cobblestone street. Your beauty was so effortless & charming, Loki found it hard to pull his gaze from you. Though out of reach, you were absolutely enchanting. 

To be near you - Loki imagined, slowly drawing in deep breath, inhaling at the sudden fluttering that had manifested in his core.

Abruptly, a frigid gust of wind commanded the hair on the back of your neck to raise, causing you to fuss with the herringbone scarf that stylishly looped around your collar. You took a moment to peer up at the night sky as you raised the hood of your coat to rest upon the crown of your head. The dazzling beauty of the stars twinkling above forced you to stop and appreciate the divine display. A brilliant wave of emerald light appeared overhead, dancing elegantly in a private show, eliciting a shy smile from your lips. 

Your eyes creased, squinting at a particularly bright star. Your gaze lingered on it with a subconscious level of expectancy.

“I’m not sure I’ve seen you before”, you remarked at the unfamiliar celestial orb, as if it would answer back if you asked it their name. 

Loki stilled as you tilted your head in wonderment, imagining you could somehow see him through the vastness of space, somehow sense his presence. He wanted to believe you could. 

“Stunning” you whispered quietly, letting out a contented sigh as you continued on your path into the darkness.

As time went on, your voice became a symphony in the silence. Your expressions became their own motion pictures that played in an endless loop within Loki’s mind. Watching you cast your spells as deliberately and cautiously as a painter stroking a canvas, Loki never tired of watching you. He admired your skill, your intelligence, as you worked with magic that was foreign to him. Somehow, these stolen glances and sacred moments seemed like a secret kept between the two of you. 

Loki let out a disgruntled sigh, reminding himself once more that you did not, and you would not ever know him. He silently cursed, knowing he could never interfere. Yet, perhaps… 

It had started as a simple trial, a test spell easily woven and rooted to your mind. A small magical connection tethering his mind to yours. Nothing more than to ensure your protection, to ensure your safety.

The moment that Loki had cast this spell upon you, practicing his illusionary craft became somewhat of a game, hiding himself from your mind, blending in with the shadows of your thoughts. 

Ilusion - an art form that Loki had mastered over centuries. Invisibility he found easy, but ignoring the intoxicating pull of the spellbound bond he had formed…This was much more difficult. 

He had not intended for the bond to grow so strong. At first, it was a fleeting trick, a slow dancing flame, a soft whisper that lived on the edge of his consciousness. Only a way to ensure your safety, a way to pass time. 

Yet each time he sensed your own mind within his, something inside of him tightened, even yearned for you. An undeniable ache that he refused to put a name to. 

As months time passed, the bond strengthened greatly. The lie that he told himself - of safety and precaution - seemingly dissolved, transforming into something…more. The sense of nobility, of being your protector from afar, alarmingly shifted to a forbidding feeling. Longing. 

The forged connection had become an addiction. Each night, Loki would find himself utterly intoxicated in your mind; voyeuristically watching you in your realm. Inhaling a breath of your conciousness and warmth. He let his eyes flutter shut, mesmerised by the comfort of your dreams. He would allow the sensation - of your joy and laughter - to quell a pain deeply buried inside of him.

While the burdened promise of protecting the timelines echoed throughout his mind, his focus was no longer entirely occupied by the task at hand - by the mission of being on the throne - but by you. Stolen glances into your reality, physical proximity cradled if only by illusion in his dreams and waking fantasies, lit a wick in his core - promising an explosion in his heart if he did not start to take precautions with his feelings. But... with your presence in front of him, his mind could rest, and he could be at ease. 

Loki often found himself wondering what it would feel like to hear your soothing voice call his name. He longed to be seen, not just by anyone—by you. It was a laborious struggle, this mix of euphoria and sorrow - wanting nothing but happiness for you, no matter which timeline you were in… yet.. still, in his quietest moments, he would let himself dream, selfishly wishing it was him you’d say goodnight to, if only just once.

When hope slipped away, time and time again, he would lower his gaze, seeking refuge from the relentless thoughts. But…he knew he would always come back to you.

‘How could I not?’...  

This particular night, when the weight of your own day had been laid to rest, Loki sought out your mind in the dark. An intense wave of sensual indulgence erupted through his body as he allowed himself to siphon the sensation of your solitary pleasure. Pleasure. A feeling that had been lost in the spacial abyss for quite some time. He would not turn his gaze upon you, as you allowed yourself to be consumed by self gratification... your most intimate moments. Closing his eyes, as if to give you privacy, he tried to remember how long it had been since he himself had had an intimate moment. He could only imagine the pleasure of being able to truly hold you, gently kissing your lips, moving together in perfect harmony. A passionate embrace, bodies gently entwining in the most sacred of acts, whispering promises of love to you between soft moans.

Love. Love?

Loki suddenly froze, eyes snapping open at the realization of the emotion he had nonverbally named. He slowly straightened his posture against the back of the cold seat, timelines clawing heavily at the lines in his palms. Feeling a heated dagger in his heart, ignoring the way his anatomy had betrayed him having been lost in the forbidden sensation of your reality, he scolded himself for imagining something so real. His throat bobbed as he inhaled a breath of the emptiness surrounding him, immediately reprimanding himself once more for indulging in your pleasure, and crossing the boundary he swore he would not. 

Love. 

Loki scoffed defensively, bringing himself back to reality. No longer did he get the privilege of feeling love, care, companionship. Sacrifice - a heavier toll than he ever would have imagined. A familiar sadness wrapped around his throat, threatening to extract tears.

The reality was, no matter what realm you were in, no matter what he felt, how much he wished he could speak to you, just once - it was impossible now - given his choice and commitment to guard the timelines, for freedom. 

For them. For you. 

Loki repeated this mantra to himself, a reminder of his motives, remembering the god he wanted to be. 

The chokehold of grief elicited a small sob from the deepest shadows of his soul, in part from the guilt of using his own power to feel companionship, to feel love, under the guise of protection, and in part from the sorrow of never being able to return back to life in the timelines. Never getting a chance to be near you, even if only as a stranger passing by in the bustle of your daily life.

Purpose. A heavier burden than he ever knew to be possible. 

On a particularly quiet night, lost in a deep slumber, you dreamt of a distant soul, calling to you in a soft, fleeting whisper. The stranger seemed gentle, but their voice was heavily laced with pain and agony as they cried out to you, calling your name, in a desperate plea to be heard.

You were abruptly jolted awake by a searing burn on your skin, branching through your hands like lightning, leaving a scorching imprint in the flesh of your trembling palms. You inhaled sharply as you inspected the marks that remained. 

“Magic.” You whispered, quickly swinging your legs to the side of your bed, sitting upright as you studied the light coursing through your hands.  

A power unfamiliar to you, almost alive, flared from the tips of your fingers to your wrist. A bright green rope-like illumination emanated from your upturned palms.

The magic throbbed, as if fueled by someone else’s spark. Your hands ached as the heat ripped through your skin, sinking deeper into your flesh. In the silence of the night, the foreign magic coursed through your veins, the power pulsing in a heartbeat that was not your own. 

You willed your own frost-blue glow to spill from your fingertips. Shimmering wisps curled around each digit, delicately twisting around the emerald that had been etched onto your body. Instinctively, you closed your eyes and willed your own strands of magic to reach out to the power that had called to you in your sleep.

Then you sensed him. A stranger's soul, ethereal, almost faint. With forceful intention, you strengthened the bond to his magic. His presence was a distant echo, lingering in the air around you, but veiled in the mist of time and space. The presence was elusive and fleeting, barely detectable in your mind and senses. Persisting, you extended your power, finally reaching the source you had been searching for. 

A smoldering silence lingered in the air for a moment. You felt the unmistakable weight of eyes upon you. With a swift motion, you spread your hands, lighting the room, your gaze searching for the shadowed figure watching you.

“I know you’re here,” You cautiously broke silence, your words bouncing off of the walls in the empty room. “Physically or not.” 

Another empty moment passed. 

“Please, say something…” Your words brushed against the air like a feather, soft and pleading, a hushed request that somehow seemed to carry more weight than any shout ever could. 

Rippling through the silence, his voice reached you. Soft, low, coming from nowhere yet surrounding you everywhere at once. Time stood still as a hum so low and delicate found you.

“I... am not supposed to be here..." 

“Please, don’t leave...” you pleaded gently, your voice laced with a quiet reassurance. “You don’t have to say a word… just stay, if only for a moment.”

The silence was suffocating, thick enough to feel, as if the air itself had frozen in place. It pressed against your ears, louder than any noise, almost deafening in its stillness.

“You don’t understand what this means…”

The voice pressed through the hushed air. Your heart ached at the way his voice cracked with desperation. His emotion was raw, the mix of regret and longing, the weight of the forbidden moments spilling in a tremble from his lips like honey.

“For either of us.” 

The room grew colder, yet your blood coursed with a fierce heat through your veins at the intensity of the unspoken warning. Whatever this connection was, you knew it was not meant to exist. But now... it did. 

And there was no turning back.

Taggies as requested : @mochie85 @lokisgoodgirl

Divider Credit : cafekitsune

Xoxo - L 🖤

Masterlist

[michelleleewise]

So I have a prompt if you're willing.

So like a bunch I've seen in the past, what if Loki has a crush on the reader and doesn't know how to process his feelings. So he picks on her, pulls pranks on her, and just being kind of mean to her. But of course Loki doesn't see it that way. Instead of the reader standing up for herself or trying to beat him at his own game, she gets really down on herself. Being picked on reminds her of her bullies from highschool and all the bad feelings come back. She starts to isolate herself, grows quiet, and starts skipping things if she finds out Loki's going to be there. It isn't until Nat (or whoever) sets him right, that he realizes what he's been doing to her. Is it too late to save this could be relationship?

I would like a happy ending but plenty of angst. Feel free to say no if you don't want to. 💙🖤💚💜

Hiiiiiiiiii!!!! Sorry this took 500 years for me to get to!!!! But I'm here now and let's set this angstfest on its way!!!! Hehehe. Thank you so much for sending this to me!! I hope you enjoy!! 💚💚💚💚

====================================

The Angel and the Fool

Pairing: Avenger Loki x female reader

Warnings: teasing, bullying, crying, depression, self deprecating thoughts, self esteem issues, body insecurities, loki being an idiot, nat being a good friend.

Summary: you and Loki had been friends for awhile, but recently his behavior towards you changed dramatically....

A/n: aaahhhh!!! This absolutely got away from me!! Lol sooooo it's a super long read, not sure how many words lol and a very very special Thank you to @mochie85 for all of your support and being my beta with this and and all your amazing thoughts!!!! Thank you!!!!! 💚💚💚 aaaand a new pic!!! 😁💚

You stood at the kitchen counter waiting for the world's slowest coffee machine to finish "all that money and stark can't even get a fast machine." You sighed leaning your elbow on the counter when you heard voices coming from the hallway "I told you brother, I was the one who broke up with her" Thor's voice boomed through the room like the thunder he was known for "whatever you say thor." Loki's smooth voice followed after. Looking up seeing the bane of your existence patting his brother on the shoulder as they walked into the kitchen. "Ah lady y/n, how are you?" Thor asked smiling as he reached into the cupboard grabbing a box of his pop tarts "I'm fine, how are you?" You asked as the coffee machine finally beeped signaling it was done.

"I am quite well thank you, we are headed to the training room." He said setting the box down next to you when you finally took stock of what they were wearing. Thor in his red shirt and black joggers when your eyes met Loki's, the smile on his face sending a shiver through you as your eyes traveled down seeing his tight black tank hugging every muscle he had. Biting you lip seeing his exposed arms, tracing the veins down to his long yet delicate fingers "your staring again darling." He purred snapping you out of your trance "sorry." You whispered grabbing the sugar bowl you began sweetening your coffee "I would be careful with that if I were you." Loki said making you look up at him "why is that?" You asked holding the spoon over your cup. "Well its just you mortals and sugar, i have heard it adds to the waistline does it not?" He asked smiling as his eyes traveled down your body.

"What..." you started when he raised his hand "I know it is not your fault, your weak mortal form cannot handle what we can." He said smiling again flexing his large pectoral muscles. Dropping the spoon you looked down at yourself, you knew you had put on a few pounds...being Pepper's assistant left Iittle time to make home cooked meals so a lot of your food was take out or on the run. You adjusted your belt feeling your eyes burn "you can always join us in the gym, i would be happy to...assist you." loki purred again. Looking up seeing he was still focused on your body "t..thanks but I..." you trailed off putting your cup in the sink

"I need to go, maybe I'll see you guys later." You said quickly leaving the room before he could say anything else. You made it to your office, flopping in your chair with a huff. "Does he think im fat?" You asked yourself straightening your back you looked down at your soft middle, poking it with your finger sighing. "Maybe a diet wouldn't be a bad idea." You said to yourself turning on your computer trying to get to work but Loki's words kept echoing in your head. You leaned back in your chair feeling a tear stream down your cheek. You had admittedly had a crush on the god practically since you were hired, and through your work with them you had grown closer to him, you could say you were friends. But the last few weeks he's seemed to go out of his way to point out every imperfection you had. You sighed closing your eyes deciding to go shopping after work to buy new clothes and a variety of green leafy things.

A few days later you once again stood in the kitchen placing various fruits and vegetables in a blender. Nat had told you about a smoothie that could help you lose weight when you saw Loki walking into the kitchen looking like be just rolled out of bed. His hair was a disheveled mess, the muscles of his bare chest flexing as he ran a hand through it "Hello little mortal, what are you up to now?" He asked walking to the fridge grabbing two bottles of water making your heart plummet "nothing." You said quietly continuing your work. "Mmm, and the change of wardrobe?" He asked gently tugging on the end of your overly large blouse "stop it." You snapped swatting his hand away hearing him laugh. "Did we wake up in a mood darling?" He asked taking a seat on the stool in front of you. "Dont you have a guest to get back to?" You sneered pointing at his second water bottle "She will be fine, this is much more entertaining." He smiled grabbing a strawberry from your pile taking a bite as he stared into your eyes.

You felt your heart sink at the confirmation, the familiar burning in your eyes returning "I'm not here to entertain you Loki." You growled when his bright emerald eyes met yours "but you do it oh so well." He purred biting into another strawberry. You sighed, closing your eyes fighting back the tears that were threatening to expose you when you heard a pair of heels clicking against the tile floor "there you are, you just left me alone." A woman's voice sounded through the room making your eyes shoot open, a tall thin redhead sauntered up to the counter placing a perfectly manicured hand on Loki's bicep "apologies, I became distracted." He said not taking his eyes off of you. "Oh, is she making us smoothies?" The woman asked excitedly as she took the seat next to him. "I do not know, are you y/n?" He asked, a smirk spreading across his face as you placed the last of the ingredients in the blender

"well she's your assistant isn't she? Why else would she be here with you?" The woman laughed as you turned on the blender hoping to drown her out when you saw the lid of the blender begin to glow "what the..." you were cut off as the lid flew off and the entire contents of the blender shot out and all over your shirt, gasping as the cold liquid seeped through to your skin "oh dear...it seems you will need to change that hideous shirt." Loki's voice entered your consciousness as your eyes shot to his seeing him laughing with his "date". you grabbed a towel trying to get as much of the green concoction off you as you could, tears welling in your eyes "green really is your color darling" Loki purred making you sigh.

You threw the towel in the sink seeing the redhead pressed against his arm laughing when you looked at him, his eyes roaming your now drenched shirt "i...I need to go." You said quickly heading towards the hall when Nat walked in "y/n, what happened?" She asked seeing your ruined shirt "nothing, just..." you said looking over your shoulder seeing loki had turned still watching you "just a blender mishap, I'm fine." You said stepping around her when she grabbed your arm "y/n, are you ok?" She asked, her eyes boring into you. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" You asked as nat glanced back into the kitchen seeing loki and the redhead "y/n.." She started when you pulled your arm free "I said im fine nat, i...I have to go pepper is waiting." You said quickly turning to the elevator before she could say anything else.

You stepped in pushing the button, as the doors closed you finally allowed the tears to fall. Any inkling of a hope you had for you and Loki had just been crushed under the reality of your life you would never be good enough. Your mind went back to the woman he was with, she could have been a model, an actress. You had to admit she was beautiful when your mind went back over the last few weeks with Loki, his constant comments about your weight, your clothes, the time you tried to add a little makeup to your routine hoping he would notice, but his reaction crushed you "aren't clowns supposed to be in the circus?" He had asked shaking his head. Every off handed comment, every slight against your appearance drudging memories long buried..."if you lost a few pounds maybe a guy would be interested"..."is face transplant surgery a thing? Because you need one."..."what guy in their right mind would go out with you." You made it to your office, thankful you kept an extra shirt in your desk for just in case situations you quickly changed, tossing the soiled shirt into your bag as you flopped down into your chair. "I thought we were atleast friends." You said to yourself wiping the tears from your cheeks when you heard a knock on your door

"Hey y/n, we have a meeting with the team, we gotta go." Pepper said smiling "is...is Loki going to be there?" You asked grabbing your pen and a pad of paper "yeah, it's an all hands meeting about the new protocols for missions." She said "umm, I'm really not feeling very well...can I skip this one?" You asked as she stepped in closing the door "what's wrong y/n?" She asked sitting across from you "nothing, I'm fine." You said looking down at your desk "I Just don't feel well, that's all." You said looking back up seeing her eyeing you "well ok, why don't you take the rest of the day off and I'll see you in the morning." She said standing back up. "Thank you Pepper, I really appreciate it." You said quickly gathering your things "you know you can talk to me right, if you need to?" She asked opening your door "yes, thank you but I'm fine." You said seeing her nod "ok, I'll see you tomorrow." She said walking out closing the door behind her.

You grabbed your bag, turning your lights off you locked the door to your office before heading downstairs hoping you could slip out undetected. You made it to the common room when a familiar voice sounded behind you "where are you off to little mortal? We have a meeting" Loki asked making you freeze "i...I'm not feeling well so I'm going home." You said not turning around "well do try to eat some vegetables, not that chocolate you like so much." He said hearing him take a step closer to you "you know what they say, it's goes straight to your thighs." He purred next to your ear making you look down "I have to go Loki." You said quickly walking to the nearest exit when you heard Thor "come brother, everyone is waiting." You turned to see Loki still looking at you as Thor patted his shoulder. Putting your head down you pushed the door open and headed for the car park. Throwing everything in the back you climbed in turning the key you looked down at yourself, sighing you put your car into gear and headed home, and away from Loki.

Loki's pov-

Loki quickly closed the door to his room and headed for the kitchen. Looking at his watch, smiling at the memory of when you gave it to him "there, now you won't be late anymore." You had said as you handed him the green velvet box, a large smile spread across your beautiful face as he opened it seeing the green iridescent face and gold hands ticking away, the black leather strap surrounding a tiny green pillow. He knew right then that his feelings for you went beyond comrodery, surpassing friendship into....something else, something he hadn't ever felt before. He quickened his pace knowing right now you would he in the kitchen messing with that odd machine that makes your coffee every morning. It had been two weeks since the incident with the smoothie and his conscience had been eating at him ever since.

He wanted more, he longed to hold you in his arms and never let you go but you always kept him at arms length, shying away when he attempted his usual method of flirting, but he couldn't resist the pull you had on him so he kept at it...kept pushing. But he knew that day in the kitchen he had gone too far, as much as he loved seeing you flustered and the things your drenched shirt did to him as it clung to your breasts he also saw the sadness in your eyes, the tears threatening to spill over as you stormed towards the hall. He was about to go after when he saw you talking to the widow, who shot him a glare that sent ice up his spine before you were gone again. He had hoped to catch you in the meeting, pull you aside and finally confess but you had fallen ill, leaving again before he had a chance.

Glancing at his watch again he began to jog down the hall, he had tried to catch you everyday since but you always evaded him, never staying in the kitchen too long and he wasn't allowed on the upper floors where your office was, some nonsense about his probation and secured areas when he made it to the kitchen, sighing seeing you standing there with Thor. He furrowed his eyebrows taking in your appearance, your clothes were baggier on your small frame then normal, your long beautiful hair that framed your face so perfectly was pulled back into a messy bun, dark circles encompassed your once bright eyes that now seemed distant, the sparkle that was there now dimmed. "This truly is an odd contraption." Thor's voice pulled him from his trance as he saw you smile but it didn't reach your eyes.

He took a small step in when your eyes shot up to his, your body going rigid as you stared at him "ah brother, lady y/n was showing me how she makes coffee." Thor said taking a sip from his cup "I must say it is quite good, you should try some." He said walking around to the other side of the island sitting on a stool "i...I have to go, you can show him Thor." You said quickly grabbing your cup you began walking to the elevator "y/n, may I..." he was silenced as you turned, the look in your eyes sending a shiver through him "I can't talk Loki, i...I have to get to work." You said, all emotion gone from your voice "but I...I just wanted to..." loki trailed off looking to his feet "I am sorry for the day in the kitchen, with the blender." He said fidgeting with his fingers "it's fine, don't worry about it." You said, the same coldness in your tone as he looked up at you "it's not the first time, and it won't be the last." You said taking a step back towards the elevator "but y/n..." he started when you held your hand up "I need to go." You said quickly turning and before he could say anything else you were gone.

He returned to the kitchen to see Thor staring at him "what was all that about?" He asked sipping his coffee "I need to speak with her but she had to go." Loki said setting the kettle on the stove. "Mm, well there is the party stark is throwing tonight, I'm sure the lady will be there, she goes to all of them." Thor said matter of factly "Thor, I never thought I would say this but you are a genuis." Loki said turning the stove off heading towards his room. The party, how could he forget the party! He thought as he walked in heading to his closet he pulled his black suit out, laying it on the bed going to his dresser he pulled out his black silk shirt and vest laying them next to his suit. "I will ask her to dance with me and then tell her." Loki said to himself grabbing a towel heading into the bathroom "tonight y/n, you will finally be mine." He said, smiling to himself as he turned the water on and began to prepare for tonight.

Straightening his suit he walked into the large overcrowded room. The music booming through the speakers made his head throb as he skirted his way through the throngs of people, looking around hoping to catch a glimpse of you as he made it to the bar. He looked up and down but saw no sign of you at all "what'll you have?" The bartender asked snapping him back "oh, um whiskey please." Loki said looking back out to the large crowd "maybe she isn't here yet?" He said to himself as the bartender set a glass of amber liquid in front of him. "Ah Loki, I wasn't sure you would be here." He heard next to him, turning his head to see none other then the widow taking a seat on one of the stools "yes well, I am here looking for someone." He said glancing back out "oh I'm sure you have no shortage of "dates." She airquoted making him raise an eyebrow at her. "What does that mean?" He asked leaning on the bar.

"Nothing, just rumors of your conquests have definitely traveled through the tower." She laughed making him sigh "Hmm yes, I have heard." He said looking out to the crowd again "do you think y/n is running late?" He asked making her raise her eyebrow this time "why so interested?" She asked crossing her arms "no reason, I was only curious." He shrugged sipping his drink "Mm, if i didnt know better i would say you were more then curious." Nat said as she turned ordering her drink "and what pray tell makes you think that?" He asked seeing her smile "I am going to tell you something I probably shouldn't, but needs to be said." Nat said grabbing her drink

"I know you and y/n are friends, well were until as of recently." She said sipping her drink "but I know a person in love when I see them, reading people is what I do." She said seeing Loki's eyes widen "see, what you need to try to understand about our y/n is she has a very large heart, she cares alot." Nat continued seeing loki nod "but shes been through alot, people have not treated her with the same kindness she gives. And what you said to her....and before you ask yes i know about all of it." She said quickly before he could interupt "honestly, it devastated her. The last two weeks she hasnt been herself, she wont talk to anyone, she refuses to go to meetings." She sighed shaking her head "all im saying is, if you dont feel the same about her just tell her, but stop messing with her, she doesn't deserve it." Nat snapped standing from her stool. "Have a nice evening Loki." She said making her way back into the crowd.

Loki mulled her words over in his head what have i done? He thought as he downed his drink and began heading to the exit when the same redheaded woman from that day found him "Hey handsome, care for a dance?" She purred rubbing his arm "no thank you, I must be going." He said walking around her "I thought maybe we could have another sleep over, get to know eachother better." She said grabbing his bicep "apologies but I'm afraid the answer is still no, I...I have met someone." He said seeing her nod "lucky girl." She smiled removing her hand "I'll see you around." She smiled walking back into the crowd as Loki let out the breath he was holding. Now he just had to find a way to get to you and talk to you, tell you everything once and for all and he knew exactly how he was going to do it.

He continued walking through the crowd when he heard a familiar laugh, looking up seeing Thor on the balcony of the vip section, rolling his eyes seeing him swinging his precious hammer around when his eyes landed on you. "Y/n..." he sighed taking you in. Your hair was gently curled cascading down to your shoulders, the floor length powder blue dress hugged your beautiful body perfectly, the long slit landing at the middle of your thigh made his heart race as you shifted, exposing your supple skin. His hands clenching into fists thinking about how badly he wanted to run his hands up and down those beautiful legs as they were wrapped around him, squeezing him as he gave you everything he had...worshipping you exaclty how you deserved.

Shaking his head he adjusted his slacks that had suddenly become very tight as he pulled his phone out, dialing the number he wanted he looked up watching Thor set his hammer down before pulling out his own device "ah brother, where are you?" Thor asked looking around the room "Thor, may I have a word?" Loki asked as their eyes met "meet me at the bar." Loki said hanging up quickly heading back to the bar when a large hand landed on his shoulder "loki, is everything alright?" Thor asked leaning on the bar. "Brother, I have a favor to ask." Loki said looking back to the balcony, Thor following his gaze nodding "tell me what you need." Thor said seeing Loki smile.

You stood off to the side, wondering how you let nat talk you into coming tonight. You pulled at the dress that she had loaned you. It was too tight, the neckline definately too low as it traveled down between your breasts, the only thing holding it in place was the thin strip of material traveling behind your neck, and the slit was definitely too high. You felt exposed as you shifted on your feet trying to hold your breath. You watched Thor bow before walking down towards the bar. Looking around you bit your lip, the only reason you had agreed to come was because you knew Loki wouldn't be up here. "The vip section." You laughed to yourself seeing nat had rejoined wanda, Steve was laughing with bucky, the other agents you had seen on your floor mingling...they deserved to be here, they were heroes... they were beautiful and here you were, the ugly duckling among the swans. You looked down sucking in your stomach trying not to stretch the dress when a voice next to you made you jump.

"Well hello gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?" You turned your head seeing Matt, the agent who had the office next to yours smiling at you. "Oh...I have one, but thank you." You whispered watching his eyes travel down your body. "Hmm, well we could get out of here, I don't live too far." He winked smiling "um, no...thank you though." You offered a smile sipping your drink. "Women don't usually turn down a night with me, you sure you won't reconsider?" He asked again stepping into your space "t..thank you for the offer but yes I'm sure." You said taking a step back. Yes he was attractive, very much so but you barely knew him and there was no way you were gonna let him see you naked. You cleared your throat looking back out into the crowd when you heard him laugh "Ya know you clean up pretty nice, I was honestly surprised to see you had brushed your hair." He laughed sipping his drink. "I...um thanks?" You said looking down.

"you actually look kind of decent." He laughed again eyeing you. "Mm...it's like those movies where the ugly girl puts on a dress and makeup and suddenly she isn't AS ugly....that's what you remind me of." He said. You felt the familiar burning in your eyes, closing them as he went on "but you know what they say, put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig." He laughed louder when a loud thump made your eyes shoot open, looking over seeing Matt pinned against the wall, Thor holding him by the throat "you will not to speak to her that way." Thor said sternly leaning down coming face to face with him "apologize...now." Thor growled as Matt's eyes widened. "I...I'm s...sorry." he choked out, his eyes not leaving the massive blonde "Thor...stop." you said grabbing his arm but there was no way you could make him budge when his eyes met yours, the anger that was there softening as he looked back at Matt

"you will never speak to her again, am I understood?" Thor said growled into Matt's face as he nodded "go, before I change my mind." Thor said tossing him to the floor watching him scurry away. "Thor?" You whispered when he turned back to you. "Are you alright my lady?" He asked stepping closer "yes, i...im ok. Thank you but you didn't have to do that." You said looking down. "He had no right to say those....horrible things to you y/n." He said as you shook your head "no he's...he was right, I don't belong here." You breathed looking up seeing Thor's eyes wide "what ever would make you think that?" He asked crossing his arms "don't play dumb Thor, you know as well as everyone else." You sighed looking out to everyone having fun

"they're strong, beautiful, they could take anyone in the room home with them." You said fidgeting with your glass "i...I'm not any of those things." You said feeling a tear slide down your cheek "i never will be, because no matter what I do I always be me...fat, ugly me." You sighed setting your drink down "I think im gonna head home for the night." You said looking to the floor as you walked around him "y/n, wait." He said grabbing your wrist "do you truly see yourself as such?" He asked making you laugh "it's what I've always been told. Even your brother has made it abundantly clear that I am...how did he put it...oh yes a clown that needed to join the circus." You said feeling a lump form in your throat "and you know the pathetic thing?" You asked finally looking up into his eyes "i...I love him...and I will never be good enough for him." You huffed a laugh remembering the day in the kitchen.

"Y/n, my brother is an idiot...a fool." Thor said taking a step closer to you. "You have to understand, when we were younger...on Asgard he had no shortage of attention, men and women would happily bend to his will, do anything he asked of them to be his...to be in his favor." Thor said looking down "and those who didn't he would break them down, make them feel less then to get what he wanted...regardless of how selfish it was." Thor continued, his hand sliding down to yours "and here...on Midgard it has been much the same, I was never lacking attention and i...I let it go to me head." Thor said looking up into your eyes "i?...what do you mean i?" You asked furrowing your eyebrows watching Thor shake his head "are you feeling ok Thor? Do you need to sit down?" You asked squeezing his hand "no! I'm not...i have wronged you, and how i treated you...." he snapped, trailing off looking around.

"Come with me." He said pulling you along behind him. Running to keep up with his long strides "Thor, where are we going?" You asked as he pulled you into a secluded corner away from everyone "if I didn't know better I'd think you were going to kill me." You laughed as he pressed your back against the wall "umm...Thor?" You stuttered when you saw him close his eyes, a green light washing over him when suddenly Loki was in his place "Loki!? What..." you were cut off by his hand gently covering your mouth "shh...I cannot be up here." He said lifting a finger to his lips. "I needed to speak with you and this was the only way." He whispered lowering his hand from your mouth

"what...why?" You whispered back as he placed his hands on your shoulders "y/n, is that truly where your feelings lie?" He asked, his hands slowly sliding down your bare arms "i...you...i know..." you trailed off, closing your eyes remembering what you just confessed to "thor" "Loki i..." He cut you off again by his finger pressed to your lips, his deep green eyes boring so deep into yours you were afraid they would consume you. You lifted your hand gently grabbing his wrist moving his hand "yes Loki...it was the truth." You whispered seeing tears well in his eyes. "I know you don't feel the same, I'm sorry I ruined our friendship its just...."

you were cut off again, all coherent thought leaving you as his lips pressing to yours, the hand you were holding reaching up to cup your cheek as the other slid around your side to your back pulling you closer to him. Gasping feeling his fingers touch the bare skin of your back when you felt his tongue slip between your parted lips, moaning into his mouth tasting the whiskey on lips as you returned the kiss, tilting your head as his hand slid to your hair holding you to him. The kiss was everything you had ever imagined and more. It was dominating and all consuming, and you never wanted it to end. Wrapping your arm around his middle you pressed yourself as close to him as you could, your nails digging into the back of his suit jacket when he pulled back slightly, nibbling your bottom lip as he pressed his forehead to yours, your breath mixing together as you tried to regain your composure.

"I...I owe you an apology y/n." He panted tightening his grip around your waist "I owe you so much more then that." He said lifting his head looking into your eyes "i...I don't understand Loki." You said searching his eyes for an answer. "Y/n, my sweet, beautiful little mortal i..." He trailed off looking down "I have never been the best at expressing my emotions, and in truth as a prince of Asgard i...i never took into account others feelings, i was selfish and took what i wanted however i wanted" He said looking back up at you "I know it is no excuse for how I have treated you, but after hearing that pathetic boy say those things to you." He growled "I see what I have done to you, how I've made you feel and I....I am ashamed of myself for everything I put you through." He said, a tear streaming down his cheek as he looked down again.

"The truth y/n is...that I love you, I have loved you for so long." He whispered "and I was afraid you would never feel the same for the would be invader of your realm, but I simply couldn't get enough of you...of your bright smile, your kindess, of your attentions, i craved it...so in my selfishness I teased and mocked, as I had done so many times before hoping to get even the slightest reaction...a smile, a snide remark...but I watched you slowly pull away from me, hiding yourself away in your office, the spark inside you slowly dying and i...y/n I can never apologize enough for my behavior." He said looking up, your heart breaking seeing the tears steaming down his cheeks. "D...do you think you could ever forgive me?" He asked, his voice shaking as his lip quivered. You lifted your hands, cupping his cheeks seeing his eyes close "Loki.." you whispered, your thumbs wiping the tears from his cheeks as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Please y/n, let me take you out...allow me to treat you as you deserve...to worship you as the goddess that you are." He whispered wrapping his fingers around your wrists. You smiled looking deeply into his eyes "all you had to do was ask." You said seeing him return the smile "oh my perfect, sweet y/n." He sighed gently placing a kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around you pulling you to his chest, his large hand holding the back of your head as he rocked you back and forth. "I'm sorry...so so sorry." He whispered into your hair. "It's ok Loki, I forgive you." You said into his chest, squeezing his middle tightly. "What did I do to deserve you?" He asked kissing the top of your head.

"You made a mistake, but you learned from it." You said pulling back to look at him "and you apologized...who am I to hold a grudge?" You asked seeing him smile "you are truly an angel sent from the heavens." He said cupping your cheek "come, allow me to take you to dinner, where we can talk more privately." He said stepping back "ok, let me get my coat." You said as he wrapped his arm around your waist you walked through the room towards the exit, glancing over seeing nat you waved as she winked lifting her glass when you caught Loki mouthing something to her. "What did you say?" You asked as he smiled down at you "oh, I was thanking her." He said squeezing you tighter "for pointing out how much of an idiot I had been." He said grabbing the door holding it open for you "after you my angel." He said, making you blush as you walked past him, feeling his fingers twine with yours you squeezed, smiling to yourself and for the first time in a long time you had hope.....

@lokistoriesblog @hyperlokilover @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @simplyholl @lokidokieokie @mjsthrillernp @violethaze @dryyoursaltyoceantears @loz-3 @commanding-officer @stupidthoughtsinwriting @high-functioning-lokipath @jaidenhawke @lokiandbuckysdoll @littlespaceyelf @lastlovesong17 @ladyofthestayingpower @homesickloki @glitterylokislut @avoliax @yelkmelk @mayjaysthots @buttercupcookies-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @her-glorious-purpose @nate-ate-hate @chantsdemarins @ladymischief11 @usagishira @princess-asgard @honeyg19 @goblingirlsarah @cabingrlandrandomcrap @silverfire475 @smolvenger @loki-laufeyson-1054-deactivated @marygoddessofmischief @animnerd @texmexdarling @fictive-sl0th @jin0x0 @vbecker10 @eleniblue @lady-rose-moon @pics-and-fanfics @kittiowolf210 @kats72 @asgardianprincess1050 @crimson25

[astrolovecosmos]

Asteroid Loki/Loke

More obscure asteroids or hypothetical planets are always fun to explore and learn about. There are multiple associations and interpretations for this asteroid and today I am focusing on the association of being an outsider. When rejected by a group or society, what type of outsider do you become? Who are your forced to become sometimes? To look up uncommon bodies like this you will need a calculator or chart drawing tool where you can input the asteroid/body number. Asteroid Loki number: 4862

Aries: May be a fierce and aggressive outsider. They thrive and survive through independence and self-interest. Straightforward and no b.s.

Taurus: Is inflexible and reluctant, isolates from pressure, has a quiet strength, survives with determination and endurance, wishes for peace.

Gemini: Uses their cleverness and persuasion or people skills to survive, doesn't get close to others, adaptable, and may have thoughts and/or questions, share information, or teaches/shares information that is taboo.

Cancer: May be rejected or abandoned by family, may have grudges with family members or close friends, and may be criticized or ostracized due to their sensitivity or empathy. Can have hermit tendencies. Survives through introspection, privacy, art, or by being hard to get to know.

Leo: Doesn't mind standing out from others - especially being seen or seeing themselves as above others, selfish and overbearing for survival, their whole being and heart can be a threat, might be the queen/king of the outsiders.

Virgo: The smartest in the room but the least accepted, observant and likely reserved or shy, rarely jumps into the action, notices things other's don't.

Libra: Isolated by a lover or friend, awkwardly charming, kicked out of the club, band, or sorority, the one everyone talks about, survives with their natural appeal - their loner vibes are likely a phase. May be a more kind, idealistic, or romantic outsider.

Scorpio: Intimidating, mysterious, survives with self-isolating or self-destruction, vengeful and spiteful, a force of nature, may practice or share taboo things, overcomes or may become the villain.

Sagittarius: The ex cult member or independent zealot, dogma and hypocrisy, survives with independence, confidence, need for freedom, and a little bit of delusion, going from town to town, never committing, living every day like it is their last.

Capricorn: Challenging laws, authority, and/or tradition, surviving with control and materialism, intolerant or apathetic, hard to convince, impress, or win over, may be wise or gain wisdom from their time as an outsider.

Aquarius: Rebellious, individualist, expects little from others, survives with independence and intellect, aloof, observant, close to very few, easily misunderstood, has a knack for finding and befriending other outsiders, found family, and may have a complex with belonging and acceptance.

Pisces: Living through their imagination and fantasies - disconnected from reality, minds their business, loves alone time, survives through escapism, connects with others deeply and then flees, losing their self again and distant from those who care about them.

[tumblingxelian]

I really hate how much disrespect Salem gets in the FNDM.

Villains like Loki chuck cosmic temper tantrums cos their dad didn't quite love them enough and ooh so deep, so tragic!

But Salem a victim of relentless abuse and isolation loses the only person she was close to becomes, heaven forbids 'upset' that the being who can and at several points do snap their fingers and being him back. Opt not to because of either A, entirely arbitrary rules they just made up, or B, spite, she is somehow already a violent attacker or a "Brat".

Then they torture and punish her, essentially trapping her once again with no escape and she lashes out. Oh how bratty, how childish, how spoiled the people say! While acting as though Ironwood is comparatively tragic and deep and actually gave a shit while Salem being horrified & enraged at the death of humanity is "Fake" or whatever.

Then she spends potentially millions of years in isolation and doesn't really seem to bother anybody until Oz shows up and brings a job with him. Also evidence again that the gods can but chose not to bring him back because they are assholes. & thanks to one vague conversation where-in she could just as easily have been talking about being more than the Brothers people assume "She wants to turn her children into incest broodmares!" Despite all signals indicating that she cared about them long before she knew they could do magic and still mourns them after the fact.

& so on and so forth…

Its just tiring and frankly reeks in no small part of sexism that Salem is presumed as having a cosmic tempter tantrum when we already have an over emotional temper tantrum throwing egomaniac & his name is fucking Watts!

I just fucking hate how Salem is not afforded any nuance, respect or gravitas by so much of the FNDM. You don't have to like Salem, but I HATE that she gets such worse treatment than male villains who are infinitely more petty, puerile and pathetic than she could ever be.

[tethrarisms]

*sigh*

Let's do this again.

The most harmful and irreparable damage the MCU has ever done is definitely Wanda's characterization and how the "fandom" perceives her even when non-cb readers migrate to the 616 side.

(This is screenshot depicting a fan reacting to Russell Dauterman's redesign of Lore, an evil Wanda variant who first debuted in 1993 in Scarlet Witch #1. She will return in the new Scarlet Witch series this year)

In addition to all the "she's always been white" constant, toxic and racist comments, which only reinforces their lack of ability to recognize issues such as colorism, Rromani representation (when they actually know the difference between Rromani and Romanian, that is) and straight-up whitewashing, they also fail to identify a most essential trait of her entire characterization: her desire to do good and become a symbol of heroism.

Wanda despises doing harm to others. Her first iteration is legitimately a depiction in which she and Pietro are being forced by Magneto to work for him and his brotherhood of evil mutants, all thanks to emotional manipulation. She never means to hurt the original X-Men except when Pietro is hurt and/or in danger. It's her protective side, not her "evil" side.

(Uncanny X-Men v1 #4; #11)

It's also fundamental to be aware that Wanda and Pietro come from a place where there's trauma for being abused by Magneto when it comes to their powers. This is why they are hesitant to join the Avengers, and yet their sense of responsibility is stronger.

(Avengers v1 #16)

Now, when it comes to Chthon, it's another rabbit hole of struggling with independence, power and agency. Being controlled by an evil force is as an old trope as any other in comic books. Still, I can't help but notice that her relationship with Chthon is never truly solved as other magic characters' issues, so why does it stick to Wanda the hardest?

Allow me illustrate with other examples:

1. Magik and the Darkchylde.

For those who don't know, the Darkchylde is "an evil side" of Illyana Rasputin, result of her captor and abuser's tampering with her soul.

The Darkchylde has several interpretations, from abuse to struggling with self-worth, and it has been established for decades as a side of Illyana that she despises, fears and suppresses.

(New Mutants v1 #71)

Illyana took years to make peace with her inner self and even had an arc to leave her reigning place of power in Limbo to Madelyne, another character who was villanized by the narrative for the very same reasons. Which begs the question.... why would a fan root for the Darkchylde to be her standard self when this is precisely what she hates the most? When it's precisely what causes her pain and leads her to a process of isolation and unhealthy behavior?

2. Doctor Strange and dark magic

Throughout sixty years of stories, there are a few moments in which the Sorcerer Supreme is faced with the old dilemma if he should use dark magic or not. And yet, from everything he went through, even in his darkest moments, he still chooses to do good. This is an intrinsic part of him. Yes, we've seen alternate evil iterations, but the main version is still a recognized, praised character for all the good deeds he performs on a daily basis.

(New Avengers v3 Annual #1)

3. Loki against fate

(Immortal Thor #2)

Loki's most recent and important journey throughout the years is precisely changing their fate, from the god of mischief and lies to the god of stories. They know they also have antagonistic roles to play as such, and yet they look forward to building a better relationship with Thor and the Asgardians. They're as complex as they come, but never back to their first and oldest iteration.

--

There are others, of course, like Nico Minoru and the Staff of One, Daimon Hellstrom and his will to deny his father's desires etc etc. I can even point a famous non-magical one: THE HULK. Yep, the guy who has spent his entire existence struggling with said dichotomy.

So you see, this is not a situation where "women can't be villains, god forbid women do anything" like some of them love to claim. You have Amora, Morgan Le Fey, Umar, even Lore now. The fact is, the MCU pushed the main version of its Wanda to be an irremediable character. Fans may or not defend her actions, but the truth is, they went too far for a role of opposition/antagonism justified by mental issues, which is yet another problematic, hellish rabbit role that we discussed so many times, over and over and over.

House of M is by itself such a harmful event in Wanda's entire characterization that, even now in the 616 universe, she still struggles to be (re)accepted by the hero community. She's still demonized by mutants, she's still depicted as mentally unstable.

(X-Men #7 - 2019)

Meanwhile, few writers are doing their hardest to give her some independence and agency (praised be Orlando and McKay). She has finally showcased her resolve to deal with Chthon by absorbing the Darkhold. She finally built a place to help people in a small community. She's an avenger yet again.

(Darkhold: Omega #1)

However, despite all that, she's still being patronized and lectured on (for instance, Agatha trying to take the Darkhold from her).

(Scarlet Witch v3 Annual #1)

The fact that she hasn't given up on the role of super hero only showcases how fundamental, intrinsic, unshakeable is her desire to do good. The fact that she's a nexus being and that the Scarlet Witch is a role passed down through generations are enough reasons to reiterate how important she is as a defender of the universe, same importance we often see in the role of the Sorcerer Supreme.

No fan has ever advocated for readers to be feared by a Sorcerer Supreme. Those are roles of heroes.

So yeah, "evil mother" and "serving cunt" will not do it for me. Because being evil means embracing everything Wanda hates the most and fights the hardest. So you come here and tell me that Wanda was supposed to be evil incarnate, to the point of comparing her to Voldemort, is plainly offensive and shows how little you understand her. You have other mothers to kneel to if you so desperately need one. Wanda is not one of them. Leave her alone.

TL;DR: Saying Wanda should be evil is stupid and harmful.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

john malevolent doe but he's doing the tma fears thing

(aka arthur lester fears list: the squeakquel)

@if-loki-was-a-fox and @princessbadassofbadassia were talking about it in the comments of this post and it got me thinking and well. ive already done one of these for arthur. so it felt appropriate to do john too. there's a lot of crossover here so i might skip over some things that got mentioned in that list and happened to them both. for the sake of time

in the interest of symmetry i'm just gonna run down the whole list again. up top tho, one thing that i think is Really Neat, and maybe this is just the way i've decided to read things, but arthur's list contained a lot of him being acted on by the fears, whereas john seems to just as, if not more often be the actor. which fits the way tma fears work, with john being more eldritch spooky thing and arthur just being A Guy. ok anyway let's get to it

the eye

...he's eyes. girl he's eyes.

is the Designated Witness for everything that happens to them. is not allowed to look away. the eye is often associated with a fear of being watched but it often positions people in the role of watcher as well, even ppl who aren't necessarily avatars (see: that dude who animorphed into a security system) and there is also. like. the avatars. sooo

per discussion of the dark world, he's unable to break down mentally and so makes for a perfect eternal observer to horror and violence. a ceaseless watcher, if you will

faust. faust faust witness this over and over and you cannot stop it you cannot escape you can't look away you can't even blink if you want to live you have to watch again and again and-

the spiral

not to do the same bit twice in a row but. girl he's madness. he was a madness god.

the distortion is also more specifically associated with deception, manipulating someone's perception of reality, making them trust you over their own senses, which john, much to his own shame and regret, happens to be very predisposed to

season 1 "i'm a friend arthur. also you murdered parker that was all you and i have no idea why you did that haha why did you do that arthur"

and also season 4's lying about anything and everything up to and including shit that was directly in front of their face. the distortion is in his nonexistent fuckin' blood, baby

the end

hm. i'm tempted to count the dark world here, but i'm not sure if that qualifies since while he obviously associates it with death it's not really death in the traditional sense as the end implies it? like it's not an End. it's just different. and worse.

it is Removal From The World though so maybe it counts i am not sure. and like, the dark world is apparently the terminus of all realities, which. makes it feel pretty end aligned?

regardless it does make him very very afraid of the notion of dying, or rather of arthur dying, on account of that means he has to go Back. so.

the stranger

is not human. wants to be human. is trying very hard to be human. sometimes fucking it up. yeah.

using parts of arthur's body as a meat puppet even tho the guy who owns the place is still in there. i still think this is a stranger aligned feature and you can't talk me out of it

him vs the KIY also feels very like a very the stranger conflict to me. "you and i are similar and yet so different as to be almost incomparable, in a way that feels almost paradoxical. and you desire to unmake me and remake me into something Like You, thereby making me unrecognizable to myself. i know you, i do not know you."

edit: apparently the KIY was also literally referred to as "the stranger" for part of the play?? that's fun ty luci

the lonely

isolated from basically all all human connection outside of arthur. that's some lonely shit

on the other side of the coin, tries to intentionally isolate arthur as a response to the above fear, meaning he both gives and receives the lonely in some sense

former isolation in the dark world, too!! yay!!

the month long coma where he just had to sit there, perceiving others but unable to communicate with them in any way. again, an acutely The Lonely experience

the desolation

idk man, hate to sound like a broken record but the dark world seems pretty Desolate

this one's tough with what we have in canon on account of john is both fairly insulated from being harmed, and unable to harm or destroy others directly, while he's with arthur. so.

actually what probably DOES fit here is how he tried to deal with oscar. knowingly trying to destroy something important and meaningful to his friend. yeah.

cauterized his finger too i guess

edit: ALSO the constant threats on arthur's life. the looming fear that he'll lose his friend, the most important person in his world, and be utterly powerless to stop it. and on the flipside, the fact that he's effectively burned arthur's life down once already, just by meeting him (ty loki)

the slaughter

the dark world. again. this time as an endless wheel of indifferent violence that demands submitting to the cycle in order to survive

also killed emily and an unspecified number of others who picked up his book for no real reason

then he escaped and killed parker. also for no reason.

the vast

"As the King In Yellow, I was not hostile towards your kind – I was indifferent. I did not hate or despise you, no more than you despise an ant. You are meaningless." (from part 13)

it's about the intimate understanding of how small a single life appears from the perspective of the gods they face, pressing up against the equal understanding that now he is one of those ants. i think he probably grasps a fear of the Vast more clearly than possibly any human could, because he's seen it from both sides.

has some awareness of timelines even pre-kayne so he's gotta deal with knowing That too as like, a fun bonus

edit: possibly also the dark world AGAIN lmao, considering its nature as something able to contain the refuse of so many realities and as something all-consuming and virtually inesapable (ty luci)

the buried

...actually i don't really have anything for this one

this is his version of arthur's buddying up with the vast i guess

is being confined to small parts of another body claustrophobic? i feel like it might be

he's been through a lot of shit while underground obv but he doesn't really seem specifically bothered by the undergroundness of it in the same way arthur is. he's accepted their lot in life. they're just gonna be underground going through horrible things, apparently. c'est la vie.

edit: ty luci and loki for reminding me about the metaphorical angle here!! you've also got the crushing weight of his past mistakes, the burden of the lies and secrets, the metaphorical mud in his lungs and throat choking him with the equal tension of wanting and not wanting to confess, to be truthful...

the dark

this is the thing that kicked off this whole analysis so i feel like i can just sort of gesture vaguely at it. you get it.

the dark world Is Dark and he is Scared Of The Dark because he Does Not Like Remembering It. before almost anything else, he fears the dark. he knows what it can herald.

also all he can DO is observe. so when he suddenly Can't Observe that is like, extra terrifying for that reason too

the corruption

he's living in his bff's body stealing pieces of it from him destroying his life hurting him and the things he cares about being constantly argued with and belittled and for some reason they love each other regardless. corruption ass relationship

he had to Watch the witch do her thing so, also that,

the web

the web and the KIY are both very associated with plays, puppets, stages, etc. and the idea of pulling another to dance on their strings, maybe even letting the victim believe they're in control while they do

and actually that's another thing he personally does to arthur in s1/s4!

and then kayne is playing him right back 👍

very similar to the Lonely, arthur can more or less revoke his agency whenever he wants and then john is just stuck going along with whatever bullshit he's decided to pull today. which feels web aligned though i may be miscategorizing it i'm not sure

the flesh

oh yeah it's FAUST TIME AGAIN, BABY

also arthur bit his finger off and now one of his fingers is a fucking tree. this too is the flesh

the hunt

he and arthur get to share in the constant terror of being a target for much larger, more dangerous things that want very badly to kill them. they sure do get Hunted an awful lot

aw hey the dark world's back too did you miss it. yeah i imagine this involved a lot of being both the predator and the prey

the extinction

wait i have something for this one this time actually. the dark world is canonically composed at least partially of dead realities right. he's personally witnessed the end of everything. he's been personally privy to extinction. yippee

CONCLUSION: lord almighty this guy is just fears all the way down huh

i know i said this up top but now that i've actually gone thru the whole thing. again. it does feel really fitting, given his nature, that john is often both the recipient of the fears and the vector through which they act on others. like yeah, he's a god turned mortal. of course they can't seem to decide what to do with him. that's fun we love to see it

[bean-bean2000]

The Maid - Part 10

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of violence, depression, mentions of suicide, despair, feeling trapped. Mentions of abuse and rape.

Please read at your own risk. Your own media consumption is not my responsibility. Please read and review the warnings before proceeding.

Thank you and enjoy!

Part 9

Series masterlist Main Masterlist

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You stand there, staring at each other until Loki breaks the silence.

"Why do you keep lying to me? What are you hiding from me?" he questions you, eyeing you up and down.

"I - I'm not hiding anything, I just -" you're cut-off by Loki slamming his hand against the reading desk next to him.

You shriek in fear and jump away.

"Damn it, woman! I will give you one last chance." staring into your eyes, you can see the anger swirling behind them.

You're breathing heavy, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Unable to form an answer, your eyes are frantically searching around the room for a way out.

"I've enchanted the room. You can't leave and nobody can come in." he says, stalking closer to you like a predator ready to pounce on his prey.

"Are you a witch? A spy? A traitor? A clever ploy, how could anyone suspect a mere maid of anything?" He's circling you now. Your hairs stand on the back of your neck.

"No, I'm not a witch." you choke out.

"Ah so a spy or a traitor then?" he hisses.

"No - I'm... not I swear to you." He closes the distance between you again, towering over you in rage.

Boldly, you look up at him "Having trouble finding a lie? Because there isn't one." you bite back.

A smirk pulls at his lips as he studies you.

"So, not a witch, nor a traitor nor a spy... then what could you be hiding from me, the king and why?" he questions aloud.

You swallow thickly and stare at the floor.

"I don't know" you whisper as you look up.

"You don't what you're hiding or why you're lying?" he retorts.

You let out a shaky sigh as you pull out a chair and sit down. Loki follows suit, sitting in front of you.

He looks at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.

"No. I'm not a witch, or spy or traitor." you say to him, staring directly into his eyes. You see him searching for your lies but sits back when he can't find one.

"I don't know who I am. I'm nobody." your voice is shaking from containing your emotions.

"How do you mean? That is impossible" Loki replies dryly.

"And before you even think about it, there's no way out of this until I'm satisfied with your answer."

You pull at your fingers in your lap.

Nothing left to lose now anyway

"My parents found me one night while they were travelling between realms. They used to work as intermediaries for the royals between the realms, carrying to a fro items to be traded. My father told me that he found me between the nine realms."

Loki interrupts you "that is impossible."

"My father was told the same by the others when he returned with me, an infant, hungry, cold and crying. He went to every realm and searched for my parents but nobody claimed me. Soon, word spread of how I was found and the realms forbade my father from bringing me to any of them, out of fear that I was cursed. My parents always wanted a child but were never able to have so they considered me a blessing rather than a curse, and they adopted me.

"As I grew up, I was isolated, feared amongst everyone as I was an 'unknown'. I didn't belong anywhere. My parents home schooled me, until I was 18, since nobody would let me within a few feet from any of the villages. Then, my mother fell very ill. Healers refused to come to her aid in fear of crossing my path and being cursed as well. They warned my father that I was the reason for her illness and that she would never heal.'"

"A few years later, it was apparent that she was dying, quickly. My father could not bear it and turned to alcohol."

**flashback**

"Father, please stop! I can't do this alone!" you screamed at him desperately.

He stumbled across the room in rage in his drunken state.

"This would have never happened had I left you there to die. Everyone warned me but I could not believe that an infant could ever cause such suffering. Yet, here I am, watching my wife die as everybody watches and nobody helps. BECAUSE OF YOU!" his voice booms against the walls of your home.

"You're the reason we will both die. You were a curse disguised in an infants form. You will forever plague everyone and everything you touch." he spits at you. Chugging the last bit of the bottle he throws it across the room, shattering on the floor.

"I never wanted you. I should have left you but she insisted you were only an infant, innocent... bah, FOOLS! You were never my daughter and never will be. You have caused the demise of this home and will suffer the rest of your life because of it." he growled at you as he slapped you across your face, sending you spiralling over the kitchen table.

Your mind was buzzing from the hit, unable to focus, until you feel your body being lifted and thrown to the wet ground.

"GET OUT! Stay out with the animals where you belong. Never return." he screamed at you and hurled another object in your direction.

"I said GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" he yelled as you scrambled to your feet in fear and ran as far as you could for as long as possible before collapsing on the ground in the middle of a field. You sobbed until you could no longer produce tears or feel anything. You felt hollow. The worst loneliness you have ever felt. You truly had nobody.

The next morning you awoke on the floor. Willing yourself to get up and find food and water, you stumbled upon a crowd, murmurring to themselves.

"Have you heard they both died last night? He threw her out and they shortly died after. They were found next to each other on the bed. They should have listened to the warnings. She is a curse." a stranger said to another as they worked through their items on the selling kiosk.

You felt like you couldn't breathe. You turned around and felt your feet pounding against the earth, running in any direction away from them. Tears flowed down your face freely as you ran and ran.

When you stopped, you collapsed once more onto the ground.

You were thrown away like an animal. Left to your devices, in the wild, with nothing.

They were right. I am cursed.

**end of flashback**

You shook your head from the terrible memories that replayed in your mind but when you looked back into Loki's eyes you knew he had seen your flashback. He stared at you with such pity and understanding.

Embarrassed you stood up quickly from your seat. Blinking away the tears.

"To answer your question, again. I am nobody. As you said, I am simply a maid." you looked at him with your lips placed in a tight smile.

Before he could say anything you grabbed your supplies "I must finish cleaning, my king. I have fallen behind schedule." you say to him mechanically.

He watches you as you climb the stairs and resume your cleaning.

Tapping his fingers on the table he releases the enchantment and walks out.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in and lean against a wall.

How much of that did he see, if anything at all? Why did he look at me like that? Now that he knows some of my truth, he will surely cast me out like everyone else has. He is no different. Nobody wants to deal with a cursed woman. Especially not a king.

You sigh heavily as you continue sweeping, keeping your mind busy with the task at hand.

At the end of the day you retire to your room and sit on the floor, back leaning on the bed.

"I can do this. Just like we practiced. Focus on pushing those feelings down, locked away. Make sure you feel nothing before waking." you say to yourself.

You close your eyes and begin imagining locking your heart, and all emotions with it in a box, sealed tight and tucked away in the deepest parts of your mind. Once you felt hollow, felt nothing, you opened your eyes.

You walk to to the bathroom and stare at your reflection.

"Good. It worked."

Your eyes are blank and dull and now shining bright blue. Nothing is seen behind them. You feel empty, and finally at peace.

You've dissociated.

You had found out you could do this, years ago to survive through the trauma. You don't know how or why, but never cared to look into it as it has kept you alive far longer than without it.

"Now, hold on to this as long as you can and just keep going." you say aloud, comforting yourself in the dire room.

You lay down on the bed and close your eyes.

With your emotions and memories locked away in the deepest parts of your mind, you fall asleep easily.

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[gloriousburden]

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one just about seething with rage when you see people in the Loki fandom gushing over the finale of that damned series. "He's FINALLY redeemed!" "He became Yggdrasil!" "He got his throne!" He's a hero and a good boy and also the god of stores and..." stopstopstopSTOP.

He's exiled, isolated, heartbroken and utterly alone, on a "throne" he never wanted. He's everything he said he didn't want to be. He has to sit there and watch people who don't care about him live their lives. It just makes me want to projectile vomit. Aren't more people in this fandom sick of seeing this play out? Loki always sacrificing himself for people who don't give a shit, while they look slightly bemused, shrug their shoulders and get on with their lives? How can this not make any Loki fan lose their shit? Why would we want this?

Where are the fans that wanted him to be happy? Where are the fans that never needed him to do something heroic to like him or love him? How many self-sacrifices does it take until he is finally considered possibly not completely worthless in their eyes? I honestly hope that they never bring Loki back. I honestly hope this is it, forever. I hope the cycle of wasting Loki like a disposable paper napkin stops with this God forsaken series.

Sorry for the late reply I was on clean up duty, vegetable prep duty, and potato salad duty 😭😭😭😭

No seriously. I’ve been lurking on the Loki subreddit, and it’s hell. Constant talk of the series and how well done the ending was! Mind you, all this talk is coming from people who never gave a fuck about Loki until that awful series. Yes guys omg he can now be a hero because that’s what he’s always wanted and it so reflects Norse Myth too 😍😍😍😍 because Loki was actually always good, he just wasn’t allowed to be good… and it’s not like he is the literal personification of chaos, or anything…

I do not want to hear ANY opinions on Loki from people who needed him to turn “good” in order for him to be likable.

I don’t get why series fans think what he did was what he’s always wanted throughout his life. Though in all honesty, there are some (very few) series fans who realize how bullshit it all is. But even with that being said, they still truly believe that Loki was loved by the TVA affiliates + Sylvie, so it was a bittersweet sacrifice 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Like really? The man who threw him into a time loop to be assaulted numerous times, and the woman who made absolutely no attempt to connect with him besides belittling him/his trauma, both love him so very much? Not even gonna talk about the other TVA affiliates because Um… who are they again? Even if Loki did have love for those people, it’s all very one sided. They don’t give a fuck about Loki, and neither do these fans. That’s why they can accept it all.

I don’t want a “redemption arc” for Loki. It’s been attempted twice, and went AWFULLY both times. I don’t want a redemption arc that ends with him sacrificing himself for people. It’s played out, and he deserves better. A so called redemption arc, that he gains nothing from. He loses, even when he’s “redeemed.”

A common theme in the MCU: Redemption = death, heartbreak, and new abilities/positions they never wanted. Which could be interesting of course if it wasn’t done a thousand times in very unsatisfactory ways, and if it wasn’t done by horrible, HORRIBLE writers.

When I saw the finale, I was just like… What? Really? That’s where all of this led to? The fuck?!

Also, they accept it because they never were the fans who wanted him to actually be happy HIMSELF.

Fuck being happy, they didn’t even want him to get to be himself. They don’t realize that Loki being himself, is not him being the funny little hero who saves the day. He is the god of mischief, and he’s not good or evil. Both exist within him. Can’t expect them to see the mischaracterization when they never knew the character in the first place.

They just wanted a “deep” and “poetic” ending and a male character they could ship him with.

Because even when S1 of the series came out, so many people admitted the issues with it (though most people mainly talked about the stupid fucking ship wars instead of anything else). They acknowledged the belittling, the mockery, the mischaracterization, all of it. But as soon as S2 came out… everyone was in love with the writers and the series! It was handled beautifully and Loki showed so much growth! Loki can shine as a hero now 🥺 omg guys he’s a tree 🌲

Bitch fuck you 🤦🏻‍♀️ fake ass switching up ass “fans”

What makes me laugh so badly is the superiority Lokius shippers/Sylki shippers feel they have over each other, when at the end of the day, neither of them like Loki! I need both of them to stop speaking so damn loudly on Loki.

Them:

Look, Tom Hiddleston deserves to get that bag and I would never diss him, but I’m actively praying on the variant’s downfall. I do not want to see the variant in anything else.

“LOKI WILL BE IN DOCTOR STRANGE!”

“LOKI WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN AVENGERS DOOMSDAY!”

Like I really don’t give a fuck. I don’t have it in me to see Loki do 30 hair flips in a row and having the corniest fucking lines ever as he now plays hero because the MCU needed another one. I do not need more Loki in the current MCU besides the What If? Series because some of the episodes were kind of fun.

No because why does Loki play the awkward, silly, quirked up English dude side kick archetype now… he’s always been more reserved. And I know dumbasses are going to be in my asks talking about UM ACTUALLY YOU DON’T KNOW LOKI HE WAS RESERVED BECAUSE HE HATED HIMSELF!!

…. It’s not just because he hated himself. He’s just not very expressive. It’s not a weakness to be less expressive. Actually, he uses it to his advantage numerous times. Also, he literally has been expressive before and it’s never been in the manner it was in the series. Loki series fans think happiness and being able to be yourself = jumping around and bouncing off the walls like a fucking idiot.

I can’t even watch this please it’s so bad 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞 Fuck

Like seriously if you don’t see the difference, I don’t think you are a Loki fan.

His movements are more graceful. I don’t know what that has to do with him being depressed and unhappy. He’s slower moving and a bit pretentious. It’s an all an analogy to him being the more “thoughtful” type rather than the more “brute” type. If they don’t notice this simple distinction, they never knew Loki anyway. How do you think he and Thor were distinguished personality wise?

Ok so sorry anon I just started ranting about everything and anything forgive me I get carried away because there is just so much… wrong. And they’re never going to notice what’s wrong because they’ve never noticed anything about Loki ever.

They can’t comprehend basic characterization and they’re not passionate about Loki at all. There’s no fixing that. GRRRRRR I hate MCU casuals!!! This is family business stay away from Loki and never speak on him again!!!

[the-bi-fangirl-biatch]

the entire season they've shown sylvie perpetually being okay to just walk away from the fray and getting no consequences whatsoever. which would be ok since she doesn't rlly care about them like loki does. but in the end she just moves on so fast after she watched loki isolate himself and go off JUST to fix her mistake.......

meanwhile mobius is there, frozen in that time, left behind by the person he's an "expert" on not only bc of his job but bc of their friendship, him quitting the job that was his entire life, because loki has left and his previous purpose didn't have loki anymore

it's just fucked up how everyone else got their happy endings (good for them) except for loki and mobius. they're apart, separated once again, looking miserable in their last shots. just like last season.

[goodoldfashionlovercorpse]

Soul Love

pairing: Luke Castellan x daughter of Loki! reader

summary: No matter what she turned into, blood was always thicker than water. Luke, however, saw her for more than she did.

a/n: hello! this is part one. i thought there weren't enough loki kid! readers, so i started this. comments and reblogs are appreciated. have a nice day :)

warnings: implied ED, daddy issues, angst, etc.

Camp wasn’t made for her. She knew this, others showed it. A daughter of Loki did not belong at a camp for greek demigods. Despite how inviting “Camp Half-blood” maybe seem by name, it was exclusive to Greeks. Unless you want to end up in the Hermes cabin, and Y/N knew that she’d rather her brothers tear her limb by limb than ever stay there again.Well, there is one way she’d stay.  Luke Castellan. Not only was he a son of Hermes, but he was the best swordsman in 300 years.

And yet he looked at her with nothing but love, as if Aphrodite shot an arrow at him herself. He made continuous efforts to include her. When she sat alone outside of the Dining Pavilion, it took the boy mear seconds to accompany her – despite the chants at his home table.

“Hey, how’s dinner going?”

“It’s going…” She played with her food, fearing it a little yet still trying to take bites. She sighed so deep it became its own form. Nothing but gloom and gray sat behind those eyes. Isolation seemed to be her only friend aside from Luke. He was so much more than her; he was a hero and she’s doomed by the narrative. Forced to know not even nuclear warfare could end this world before her father. Yet he understood what he did not know.

“Your hair is turning to snakes. Wanna try again?”

Damn it. “No.”

He poked her continuously. Setting his plate down, he waited – like a predator to its prey – until she finished eating. He knew better than to make her meals more miserable than she already felt, so he sat there waiting for the other plate to empty. Grace wasn’t the sole word he could use for her. Even in a state of distress, she looked as if the love-gods  handcrafted her and brought her to life. Unfortunately, the doom of her destiny haunted her mirror. Despite her father and her being shapeshifters, there was always a piece of him in every shape she became.

The pavillion was as loud as the wind, yet Luke and her were as quiet as the moon. Should she say everything she wants or just leave it be? Her father was never one to tell the truth, especially when he said “i love you.” Saying those words with his blood flowing through her veins felt like a crime. A punishful lie. The cries of cousins burning her at the stake. At some points she’d feel ashamed for her pride. Why should she be proud to be his daughter? He has done nothing but try to end the world. He wished nothing but awful things to his children – she is not the exception.

Despite her father being a horrible being, she was his favorite child. She represented everything he was: chaos incarnate. She didn’t pick sides; even if her best friend went to war, she’d stand in between, only adding fuel to the fire. Her dad wasn’t evil, yet he wasn’t good either. He passed his neutrality onto his daughter, then tortured her for it, only to then aid her. Her. Not her siblings, just her. Loneliness and regret filled her for this, but Samirah and Alex never blamed her.

Yet seeing the pure loathing some campers held for their siblings made her uneasy. They hated their parents, yet it was obvious they are their children. They hold the same opinions, never critique their actions, always knowing one story – the Hero’s story.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Luke held her hand as he looked into her eyes. Those eyes. Oh, those eyes… the things they do to her and her soul. Those brown eyes held layers of her regrets and so little judgement. He knew every detail of her mind, even what she did not want him to know. War, Valhalla, Loki, Camp, all of it. He knows all of it. Still, love courses through his eyes. She thinks she’s delusional.

While Luke may accept her, he still doesn’t know every single thing. He knew all, except her part in Ragnarok. Odin didn’t owe her anything, neither did she owe him; she also wasn’t on her father’s side, she knew better than Calypso. Instead, she will stand back and get rid of either side. Destiny wasn’t her favorite thing, it was her greatest detest. No way to undo it, no way to fast-forward it.

Luke wouldn’t leave her be, his eyes showed that he’d follow wherever she’d go. He’d meet her where the spirit meets the bone. “Have i ever told you how well the moon suits you?” Goosebumps raised her skin like a cat. He knew what she thought, yet he knew better than to discuss it out here. He knew all her thoughts, as if he knew her soul once upon a dream.

Before either utter a word, Luke smiled, genuinely. it was the kind of beam nothing could rival. “I apologise if i haven’t, you truly are lovely under the light.” he bit his tongue, aching to comfort her and defend her. It was too early, too much. She was impaled by her the venom in her veins, a feeling he knew all too well. The boy couldn’t complain, though. Although he held distaste for his father, he had learned to forgive and make amends.

He trusted his father when he said "i love you." She never had the option to believe her's. War was all that he’d given her, but war was not love; his father didn't start one, her's claimed it was his love. Even Ares and Athena knew it in their cold, golden blood. A moment of quiet passed through the sand. “I’m sorry that-”

“Do you ever think of Death?” she perked her head towards him, staring deeply into his eyes. Constellations and worlds resided in them. Whatever girl he has is lucky to have him, she thought. Silent prayers hung at her lips like the Gardens of Babylon.

The question was raw. Was he going to really answer it? Should he finish this question?

“I mean, Love and Death are a lot closer than one might think.” He stared at her, willing to listen to her every word even if she was describing a plan to murder him limb from limb. “Not everyone loves death, yet death craves love. To be forgotten – to be completely unloved is to die forevermore. Love adores death, loss gives value to what we hold dear. Orpheus already held dangerous levels of love for Euridice, her death increased his awareness. When she died again, she felt so much love for him, knowing she’d never be forgotten. She lived eons because death and love are adaptive. They feed off of each other. Death is never truly the end, the end is being forgotten. Forever lost in the sands. Never to be loved again.”

Behind her eyes, Luke saw her thoughts. He felt them like bullets on his skin, one so deep you couldn’t mistake it. She looked at the stars not knowing she was one.

Death was valuable to her for other reasons, but she ran from it. Ran from her own hair. Why? He wondered. Valhalla loved her, yet his bones knew that they wouldn’t once a grave had her name engraved. Gods were Luke’s enemy for a while. Still, the boy holds resentment over them. Heavy resentment. Y/n, though? Her father wanted her dead. At least Greek Half-bloods get to have a count down, Norse ones just die. No monsters, just their parents and humans. Monsters are her family; howling behind the barrier are her brothers, willing to take her life.

Perhaps he took for granted his dad sometimes. Even though Hermes started to get involved now, he assured Luke that he would’ve been a father to him sooner had he could. Not once did Hermes go after him or bullied him, only to praise him and aid him in the depths of his mental illness. Hermes may not be the best, but he was certainly not the worse. Luke could never imagine what the Norse gods are like: the children of Thor didn’t pray to  him, Odin was barely present — they didn’t even build a camp to ignore their kid, they just let them die.

Chaos followed every demi-god, special the Norse ones, mainly the children of Loki. He was neither good nor evil. Y/n prefaced this during all their talks. To him, Loki was pure evil; but to the most gorgeous creature on earth, he was her father.

Trickery was infused into her soul, unable to leave even if she bore red liquid like a fountain in Greece. Death was her escape, her only vice — yet now her views have change since the moment they met. Life is her, she is life; she adorns his world in her heart. But somehow he still felt so… Powerless. He was utterly powerless when it came to her heritage. She’d accepted it so quickly. Completely unfazed that she had this burden.

Meanwhile, he still had trouble facing his dad. Sure, all has been resolved and war has been evaded, but that’s only for the Greek demigods. His family is, for the most part, alive. But her? Her mom and dad are no where near, her father is out to either kill her or train her, and she’s already suffered the loss of a sister – a loss she dares not repeat.

“That was too much, wasn’t it? It’s not virtuous to praise death. But in this world, what else is there?

“Maybe you’re right. Or, maybe, we can talk about shows, or the gods, or even us.”

“Us?”

Luke swallowed his spit, trying hard not to sweat. Nodding, he looked at the sky. “Us.” He smiled warmly, making the air smells like honey and roses, “my favorite song is Soul Love by Bowie.”  He didn’t have to turn around to see her face, the warmth of her excitement felt like enough. She was already more than enough.

[ym4yum1]

Preface — My favorite Spy (5)

November, 2024.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5.

How did the MCU shape Natasha Romanoff's character?

In AoU, THE Black Widow — arguably Marvel's sharpest, most capable spy — had her "damsel in distress" moment while waiting for Bruce (not even the Hulk) to save her from captivity. The only female Avenger at the time, Natasha was suddenly reduced to a love interest, questioning her worth as a hero and burdened with shame simply because she couldn't procreate. Who thought this was a good idea? My husband's answer: "A man." No offense.

Now, let's consider how Natasha has evolved in the MCU.

In Iron Man 2 (2010), she flirted with Tony, but earned his respect by hacking a system JARVIS couldn't crack to free Rhodey. In The Avengers (2012), she had a deep partnership with Clint, outsmarted Loki, and found the key to close the portal. In The Winter Soldier (2014), she was as much a protagonist as Steve, building a strong connection with him, even sharing a kiss. Then, in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), the film began with her already involved with Bruce. Yet, their story happened almost entirely off-screen, undermining the narrative principle of "show, don't tell," and diminishing her existing relationships.

If I were Thor, I'd be upset at being the only Avenger left out of Natasha's supposed romantic entanglements.

Jokes aside, the "monster connection" between Natasha and Bruce felt forced and unearned, as did their "romance" — a plot device to tie together two isolated people with no meaningful payoff. Ultimately, it was a disservice to both, reducing them to simplistic, cartoonish tropes.

Then, in Captain America: Civil War (2016), Natasha was forced to choose sides, pitted against close friends like Steve and Clint while trying not to lose her Avengers family. In Avengers: Infinity War (2018), though worked underground, she continued fighting crime alongside Steve.

Finally, in Avengers: Endgame (2019), her death was framed as her "redemption". But really? By this point, hadn't she evolved well beyond her past, proving her heroism time and again — even taking on a leadership role within the Avengers? And why would Steve Rogers — one of the best tacticians ever — send two non-superpowered humans to retrieve an Infinity Stone on an unknown alien planet? The Soul Stone's demand for a "sacrifice of love" was unknown to the Avengers, yet the writers chose Natasha and Clint, who had a deep bond, without any strategic justification.

From a storytelling perspective, sending someone with resilience or cosmic experience like Hulk or Rocket Raccoon would have made more sense. Natasha and Clint — skilled spies — would have been better suited to New York than the Hulk, where stealth mattered. Instead, many of these choices felt contrived and plot-driven rather than organic character growth, making Natasha's sacrifice feel hollow and unearned — designed more for emotional impact than logical consistency. Further, the absence of a funeral added insult to injury.

Sending Natasha Romanoff to Vormir, a mission that essentially preordained her death, without any explanation whatsoever, cheapened her development. From that moment, the plot felt lackluster, the movie lost its meaning, and the MCU lost a fan. But I digress.

[imdonnalynn]

THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

Made a new header with who I believe will be big players towards the end of the Multiverse Saga. Agatha maybe not so much but in her own way however that may be.

Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch SPECULATION -

What happened to Wanda with the collapse of Wundagore in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness?

Did she die in the collapse like so many would have you believe?

Did she simply put herself in some hibernation form within the rubble?

Did she transport herself elsewhere to self-isolate? An off shoot of this speculation was she banished herself to the Void.

Hear my theory, think about it, in Multiverse of Madness when Wanda finally realized the Darkhold had corrupted her, in the eyes of her children, it was only then she was able to see the monster she had become and stop her rampage.

I think Wanda realized how truly dangerous she was and in an effort to protect her children and by extension the Multiverse she brought Wundagore down on top of her in an effort to rid the Multiverse of her as a future threat.

But what I think really happened was instead of killing her she sent herself to the Void.

She absorbed some of America's power, its possible with her already powerful reality warping abilities with what little she took she was able to send herself to the Void with a thought, like she erased all mutants in the House of M storyline by stating "No more mutants..." in this case she thought "I want to be where I'm no longer a threat to anyone..." and to me that means the Void.

I think Wanda unintentionally banished herself to the Void. As evidence by her Scarlet Witch statue from Wundagore making a cameo appearance in Deadpool & Wolverine in the hideout of the resistance team against Cassandra Nova.

Wanda has likely been in the Void since Multiverse of Madness and has avoided any interaction with anyone and anything fearing she will become an unstoppable threat again. So I don't think Cassandra Nova felt any need to try and kill Wanda even if she somehow knew about her.

But once Avengers: Doomsday comes, RDJ's Doctor Doom, will very likely pull an Avengers: Infinity War and leave audiences stunned when he causes incursions of the Multiverse into one place, the Void making it BATTLEWORLD. That is a lot of populus and stuff of all kinds coming into the Void and between that and Wanda possibly running into some of her old friends from her universe 616, she will begin to realize she has to get involved if the fate of the Multiverse, the fate of her children, is at stake. Any projects that take place between Avengers: Doomsday and Avengers: Secret Wars has been heavily rumored to take place in Battleworld.

Wanda will be an integral part in restoring the Multiverse so the Mutant Saga can thrive. Loki, Doom, Wanda and maybe even Strange will all have a hand in reestablishing everything.

p.s. ...Clea may also be a big part with the other magical beings of the Multiverse.

update 9/5/24 - She could also be in some form of Hell based off the souls of the damned in Multiverse of Madness. If you count the souls that she was trapped with versus how many burst free when she did the number is short so its implied she could have been dragged to some hellish realm.

[shiningshenanigans]

Loki has had exactly two moments where he thought Sylvie was dead, and both resulted in the most excruciating pain and sorrow he’s ever felt in his life.

Yeah, being stuck in tree at the end of time forever kinda sucks, and he’s kinda terrified of being alone for all eternity. But living in a world where Sylvie is dead? Worse. So, so, so much worse. He would rather face centuries of isolation than experience that kind of pain again.

I don’t care what anyone says. That’s LOVE.

[kaynothanks]

Sucker-Punch | S.R.

Ask: 9 but with steve rogers x reader and the reader hates them because of their righteousness and they r a reformed agent/villain of some kind like natasha but super mischievous (loki level) which irks steve but they can’t deny their attraction for each other or something

Warnings: BLOOD, ruthless assassin!reader, killing, GORE be aware, smut, minors DNI!

Word-Count: 6k

Steve was going to kill you, or worse; he was going to sit you down (again) and hold his speech filled with morals and patriotic mightiness. That man certainly had seventy years of pent-up moral crap to spread into the world.

Hell, sometimes you felt like the Wicked Witch of the West, with Steve’s righteous words the water ready to melt your being and bring you to your end.

Still, you took the risk as you switched off the transmitter in your ear and the tracking device on your arm, which each team member wore in case the transmitter got damaged or one got too heavily injured to call for help themselves. With certain steps, you entered the unsecured base that Steve had ordered all of you not to – under any circumstances – get close to without backup.

A loud crash sounded. The lights shut off and you halted; listening closely and silently. It was only a moment later that some generators powered up and the whole base was illuminated by red flickering lights.

Fun.

You pulled two knives from the holsters on your hips, carefully setting one foot in front of the other. On high alert, you pressed your back against the wall and peered over the edge. Barely a blink of an eye later, a blade went sailing past your head. You pulled back; shock pushing the air from your lungs. Flicking the knives between your fingers, a grin snuck onto your lips.

This, though, was going to be fun.

Within a second you were moving, keeping a swift pace as the two males before you pulled out their guns. You flung one of the knives. It found its mark straight through the male’s palm. A wail of pain flew from his mouth as you evaded the line of bullets flying towards you. Throwing out your leg, you kicked the gun from the shooter’s hand. A few precise strikes later, both men were unconscious and bleeding on the floor as you pulled your knives from their bodies and wiped the crimson liquid off on their clothes.

From the gadget bracelet on your wrist – which Tony had designed for both Natasha and you a while back – shot two ropes made of finely treated metal that anchored in the thick bullet-proof vests the males wore. You detached the ropes from the bracelet and brought them over your shoulder, making it easier for you to pull them along after you.

About fifteen minutes later, you had a row of unconscious men seated in front of you and the heavy metal door to the room you were in locked to keep out any intruders. Their leader you had placed in the middle for good measure.

While waiting for them to wake, you double-checked their bind until the first groans echoed through the isolated room. You walked back around to their front, so they were able to face you as you leaned your back against the wall and took out one of your knives. It wasn’t long before all of them were blinking at you in confusion, their eyes shifting to the glinting blade dancing between your fingers.

"Good morning, boys," you greeted with a smile after you were certain they were back in their right state of mind. "That was fun, wasn’t it? And you got a good nap out of it, too." Cocking your head, you pushed yourself off the wall deadly silent on your feet – just like you had been trained. "The lot of you are probably wondering why you're here and not, well, dead," you smiled. "I want to play a little game with you that I made up. It's called you tell me what I want to know and keep your fingers. Sounds fun? Great."

"You're an Avenger," one of them gasped. "You can’t do that."

"Oh, honey, haven’t you heard?" You questioned and stalked along the lined-up males towards the young lad who had spoken up. "I'm a Viper." You leaned down. "And I do a thing called what I want."

His breathing picked up, you noticed, causing a smile to slip back onto your face. Aloud you counted from man to man to the tune of eeny, meeny, miney, moe until the rhyme ended and you stopped in front of one of them. The man you halted across from didn’t waver at your presence, didn’t flinch or blink, or even moved to acknowledge you.

"Now, I wanna know, where is—" A patch of spit landed on your face. Clenching your jaw, you wiped the wetness from your cheek as the man before you laughed deeply. "And to think I was trying so hard to be nice," you sneered, flicked your knife, and hit. His laughing cut off abruptly, eyes widening. He sputtered as blood poured from his mouth and splattered from the cut across his throat. After a moment he fell silent and his head rolled to the side. Dead. You wiped the blade clean on his shirt.

You tsked. "Now, that wasn’t fun, was it? At least for you." With your clothed arm, you cleaned away the droplets of red on your face. Again, you chanted down the children's rhyme, coming to stand before the one that had called you out on being an Avenger. "First question," you spoke and bent down to catch his eyes. "Where are the artifacts?"

The young male stumbled over his words until he felt the tip of your blade pressing into his jugular vein. "It's only one!" The words burst out of him. "The… The first case we… we never had. I—please, don’t kill me."

"That's a good boy," you stated and petted his cheek, letting go of him as you turned to the others. "Now, the case you guys do have, is it long enough to hold, say, a sword?" You pulled out a sharpie from your belt and made a cross on the man's forehead who had given you some answers.

"No," another one growled with irritation as you eyed him expectantly. "It's in a wooden cube one story below."

"Awesome," you gave back and went forward to draw a mark on his forehead, too. "I'm not going to lie, boys, I'm a bit disappointed you don't have the blade I wanted. The rumors I heard about it for sure made it sound interesting." You clapped your hands together loudly. "Next question." Your gaze fell from man to man. "I'm guessing you all have heard of a man named Dreykov." All of them went utterly still. Taking notice of their sudden change in demeanor, you were on the move again. "The man you were trafficking innocent children for. Ring a bell? Well, as you might have noticed, he's dead. But you know who isn't dead? His partner, or boss, or whatever."

Some of them glanced around uncertainly. One of them shifted in his seat. "He didn’t have—"

Before the black-haired man had finished his sentence one of your knives was prodding from his forehead. "See that? He was being a bad boy. Bad boys don’t get an X, they get a knife. Got it? Let's try this again. What's his name?" No one answered. You sighed in disappointment. "And I thought we were making progress."

At that moment every sense of remorse or hesitancy left in your body seemed to vanish. Minute after minute another one of them lost the beating of their heart and before you knew it, only their leader and the two males you had marked were left alive.

As you saw how the two men with marks on their foreheads looked at you, you gave them a sharp glare. "Don’t look at me like that," you scoffed. "It's not like you lot are kindergarten teachers. You are mass murderers, terrorists, and child traffickers. If you wanted to live to eighty, you should have paid more attention on career day." Bringing your attention to the leader of the group, you chose to ignore the other two, which now were completely useless to you – you had chosen to believe them when they assured you that they knew nothing.

"What's his name?" You addressed the eldest of them for the first time. "Where is he hiding? And while you're at it, you can tell me all the other shit I should know about him." When he didn’t answer, you chuckled. "Stepan—that is your name, isn't it?" Judging by the look on his face, he hadn’t expected to hear it fall from your lips. "Stepan Kuznetsov, born in 1964 just a few miles out of Novosibirsk. Two younger brothers. Parents deceased. No wife. No children… that we both know of." You winked. "Your younger brothers don’t seem to be involved in any shady business. How about we keep it that way, huh?"

His face scrunched up in anger. You could see dozens of curses running through his mind that he longed to throw in your face. "Ivan Yugov," he finally muttered.

The name started playing over and over in your head until you could physically feel each and every syllable on your tongue. You swallowed. "Go on. You know what I want to hear."

"Ты чертова сука. Почему бы тебе не сделать то, что женщины умеют лучше всего, и не лечь, как чертова шлюха, и не отсосать мой член," he spat at you.

You blinked at him before a loud laugh escaped your throat. "Not what I wanted to hear!" You exclaimed and in flash were towering over him with your knife poking at his chest. "Call me that again, and you'll find my blade somewhere very uncomfortable."

His teeth were on display as he growled in your face. "Bitch."

"I was planning on letting you live to rot away in a cell somewhere, Stepan," you assured. "But after that shit you just pulled, letting you breathe doesn’t seem so pleasant anymore." Just as you pulled back your arm, ready to plunge your knife where you thought it belonged, a loud bang came from the door. Your head rolled forward as a string of curses left your lips. The heavy metal door hit the wall and you straightened, turning to face the wrath of Mr. Liberty himself. Steve stood broad-shouldered, a glint in his eyes that let you know you were in for it in ways you had never been before.

Feeling as though nothing mattered anymore anyway, you flashed Steve a grin and threw your knife behind you. With a straining grunt Stepan, too, found his last breath. You threw a look over your shoulder at the two men still alive. "Boys," you spoke one last time and stalked toward the burly – vicious - male in the doorway. Steve was quite obviously rendered speechless by the gory scene in front of him. "Captain." Saluting him, you made to push past him, but he caught your wrist before you could lower it. Your orbs took in his hand around your arm and snapped to his with a venomous warning. Pushing down the anger, you gave him a smirk instead. "Oh, don’t worry, Cap, the blood isn't mine."

"I'm done," he stated. "I don’t care what Fury said. I won't risk another murder scene just because you couldn’t control yourself."

"Are you going to prance around now with all of your values and morals and tell me that killing them was wrong? That they didn’t deserve it?" You sneered. "For all I care, I just saved the government some money."

"There are protocols to follow. Just because you are angry doesn’t mean you can go around killing whomever you want."

"I'm going to kill whoever stands in my way of getting to him. People like them—people like him ruined me. I just plan on returning the favor." You ripped yourself free from Steve.

"Who's going to just let you go on a killing spree?"

"Who's gonna stop me?" You shot back, eyes boring into his blue ones. You stared at him for a moment, waiting to see if he was going to argue any more. Though when he said nothing else, you descended down the corridor and turned on the transmitter in your ear. "Nat, you there?"

"Where the hell have you been? We thought they had gotten you."

"Ouch," you replied. "You really thought they would be good enough to take me out? That hurts, Nat, really does."

"Glad to hear you're okay."

"You'll be even gladder to hear that the artifact is right below where I'm standing. I'm going to send you the location and head back to the jet. I don't think I'm welcome out on the field anymore."

Natasha hesitated. "What did you do?"

"I got his name, Nat," you breathed, feeling as though one of the stones you had carried in your chest broke loose. Ever since you had been sent out to kill her after she didn’t return from a mission, Natasha had played a big part in changing your life. If it wasn’t for her and Clint – whose arrow had sneakily come from behind and knocked you out cold – you would still only be a pawn in the Viper Program.

For once, it wasn’t Dreykov that had thought it up, but his partner, which he had revealed before dying at the hands of Yelena Belova. Where the children unfit for the Red Room had been brought. Instead of the big mass of children chosen to become Black Widows, the Vipers were a mere group of a dozen girls too uncontrollable, too vicious for the fine training of the Red Room. The training of the Viper Program had proceeded in the Black Pit, where there were little to no rules except exceeding. And in the end, there had been no more than five girls left alive to graduate.

After you had been sent out to terminate Natasha – she was the first ever person to beat you in a fight – you had ended up being bound the same way those men back there had. She had asked you so many questions, which you had continuously ignored until you had managed to silently free yourself from the robe. You had waited for her to turn her back before dashing out of the room with impressive speed (with Natasha having taken all of your weapons away, your chance of completing your mission had shrunk tremendously). You had been searching for the least noticeable way out of the place she had brought you, which only ended with you running into Steve Rogers, who had been alerted by Natasha just like all the other present Avengers in the Avengers Compound. You had known the place inside and out, having studied its blueprints until you held the knowledge of every single possible exit. Only a certain artificial intelligence was aware of those exits, too, and had sealed them shut before you even had the chance of getting close.

A month you had been forced to spend underground being questioned each day until you received the information that someone else had been sent after Natasha and you, too. The program had given up on you just like that. You knew what they were like and still, you believed you meant more to them after having grown up there.

All of the four remaining Vipers had come for you, and all of them died trying to kill one of their own – being too blindsided themselves to see the truth which Natasha had taken a whole month to press into your head. Natasha was able to understand you in ways you found that no one else could. She knew when you simply needed space or someone to just hover over you without talking.

You strolled up the loading ramp of the new, modernized Quinjet that Tony had hammered out with the council members of SHIELD after Bruce Banner had vanished with the last working one. Huffing at the stickiness on your skin, you unzipped the tight dark green vest (which Stark ensured to be fire- and bulletproof) covering your torso and dropped it beside one the chairs.

By the lord, you were in desperate need of an immediate shower.

"Damage Control is on the way I heard," Natasha announced as she jogged up the ramp, giving you a slight once-over.

"Oh, don’t give me that," you groaned, pulling the sleeve of your black shirt over your hand to use it to wipe away the blood on your face. "They send DC for about everything now. Soon they're gonna be cleaning up roadkill."

"You just can’t stand the director."

"'Cause she's a bitch," you hummed.

"You keep talking like that and Steve might just bring out a bar of soap."

"Yeah…" You grinned and gave her a wink after slipping off the black shirt. "Mouth washing's never worked on me." Instead of laughing along with you, her expression darkened, knowing what else was used for taming her and you. She was about to say something when Steve's broad form came into view from the corner of your eye. A sigh fell from your lips before you took off your shirt and flung it down onto your vest, leaving you in a tank top.

"I need to talk to you," his serious low voice rumbled through the otherwise quiet Quinjet, while he put down the artifact hidden away in a wooden box. Natasha let you two know she would handle the piloting as she hastily slipped to the front of the jet.

"Christ, Steve," you swore and crossed your arms, feeling the drying crimson liquid clamming up your skin's surface. "Keep your morals away from me for as long as I look like Carrie, alright?"

"Who?"

You blinked at him. "Never mind." Curiously, your eyes flitted behind Steve to where he had set own the wooden box. Before the super-soldier had time to react, you slipped past his muscular arm and toward the hidden temptation.

A hand wrapped around your upper arm, pulling you back. You gave him a sharp glare, only to be met with one of his own. "We don’t know what it does," he stated. "It might be dangerous."

Your brow twitched upward. "Don’t be silly. It's useful."

His tight hold ceased. "What do you know about it?"

"More than you, apparently," you replied and skillfully removed his fingers from your arm; the spot tingled uncomfortably, so much so you had to rub over it to make the feeling stop. Still turned to him, you have him a grin until out of the black you dashed forward, slipping the shield from his back. His arm went out to grab you but you ducked away, pushing the edge of the shield under the crate's lid, and cracking it open. Before he could reach you, you tossed the shield back to him and removed the splintered lid.

When your gaze found the glittering metal, you felt as though a little magpie had fluttered into your chest, your fingers achy to get a hold of the artifact.

"Don’t even think about it," he warned, pulling off the mask covering half his face.

You stared at him before sticking your hand inside the box and pulling out the necklace. Swinging the golden string from left to right, you stepped up to him; he was so weary of the thing between your fingers, he was close to lifting his shield and backing up as if it were a bomb. "Let's play a game."

"Let's not."

"Oh, let's," you grinned and pointed at the necklace dangling from your fingers when you were almost close enough for your chest to touch his. "If you find me, I'm gonna tell you what this baby does."

"What do you mea—" Before he could finish his sentence, the amulet flared in a bright glow. You gave him a slight wave of the hand and disappeared behind a flash of light.

…

Steve was seething.

He had known you for a while now, and had gotten used to your shenanigans and reckless actions but by the lord – you using a magical artifact without any of you knowing anything about it, was like plopping the cherry on top of the things irking him about you.

To this day, he remembers each and every word thrown between him, Tony, and Nick Fury when they were about to make the decision whether you were going to be sent to the Raft – a maximum security underwater prison located near Ryker's Island – or join their team.

Tony was all in on you joining the team from the moment he had spotted how much and how fast you were able to get on Steve's nerves. Fury had always had a thing for taking risks; some more calculated than others, for sure. And Steve had told them both off for having the worst idea of the century.

They had won.

And now, you were once again an assassin on the run, though now in possession of a magical artifact which, again, he had no knowledge of whatsoever. He could already hear Tony's taunts echoing in his ear targeting the lack of control he had over the Viper and how much Tony enjoyed watching it all play out. Steve also knew that Stark would once more comment on the redness threatening to overtake his face every time Steve was just a tad bit too close to you. Since you had joined the team, he hadn’t been able to hear the end of it.

Worst of it all; a small, reckless, idiotic part of him really did think you were the one for him – you, below all the wrongdoings in your life. Brave and strong and determined and confident.

Some of your traits reminded him of… He shook his head and cleared his throat as he hurried down the jet's ramp in front of the Avengers Compound. You had turned off your location device again, so Steve had no idea of how to find you; he would be forced to consult Tony on the matter and admit his inability to keep you in line. In the elevator,  he went over what he would tell Tony in his head, though when the ding sound came and he stepped out, Steve's eyes landed on you. Not hurt, not gone not a thief – well, perhaps a little bit of a thief – but happy, drink in hand and laughing together with the billionaire himself. And by the looks of it, you had gotten your shower, too.

When your gaze landed on him, a sly smirk spread on your lips. You whispered something to Tony so low that not even Steve's enhanced hearing could pick it up before you emptied your drink in one swig. Pushing off the bar stool, you sauntered over to him. "Congratulations, you found me."

"Where is it?"

Flicking your hand, the chain fell from your sleeve, which you swiftly caught between your fingers. "The Amulet of Abaddon." You tossed it to him. "Useful for teleporting." Smiling you turned, striding past him and up the small set of stairs leading to the private quarters.

Tony snorted into his glass of scotch, taking a delighted sip. "Seeing how much of a sucker you are, is genuinely painful, Cap." He gulped down the rest of his drink. "Anyway, I gotta pick up Pepper. Date night." Showing off his pearly whites, the billionaire came up to him. "We're flying out to Tokyo. Maybe I can get someone there to make you a life-size puppet of her. No back-talk, how about it?"

"Stark," he warned with a sigh only to receive a few dismissive slaps on the shoulder in passing. After telling FRIDAY to notify Natasha of the artifact's safety and call Damage Control to come pick it up, Steve went to find you in your room. Your empty room, as he found. Rolling his eyes at you for being intentionally difficult, he made his way to the training hall. From afar he could hear some song playing that he didn’t recognize.

You stood inside, in front of a counter filled with blades in various shapes. Where Natasha preferred her gun and Clint his arrows, you found the simpleness of a blade and its swift deadliness to be the weapon best fitting for you. Steve swallowed as he took notice of the curve of your bare neck and how low your shirt was hanging in the back, giving him a view of the heavy scarring. Still, he couldn’t help but want to be able to explore every other inch of you; discover what else you were hiding.

"Took you long enough," you teased, picking up another throwing knife and eyeing the other dozen of them already sticking out of the human-shaped target.

"What were you thinking?"

Clicking your tongue, you hurled the knife at the target with such force the tip bored itself into the handle of another, right between the target's eyes. You gave an idle shrug. "Damn, that's hella shiny. Imma take it."

He sighed to himself. By now, he should have been expecting such answers from you. "You said you would tell me everything you knew about it. So, tell me."

"I did," you countered and leaned against the counter, looking at him. "It's called the Amulet of Abaddon. It teleports stuff."

"What else?"

"I have no idea, Steven. Why don't you play with it a little and find out?"

"You said it wasn’t dangerous!" He barked. "Now you're telling me you don’t even know what it can do!"

You hummed and scrunched up your nose. "You sure about that, Steve? 'Cause I don’t remember saying anything like that." Grasping another knife from the table, you brought your body back to face the target. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I just told you to stop being silly." The knife was picked from between your fingers as you made to throw it. You huffed; your flat hand slapping against your thigh in disappointment. Whirling around, you were ready to wring the knife from him, though you halted as you detected him in such near proximity. Silly you found yourself to be as your breath was close to hitching in your throat at him towering over you.

"I'm pulling you from the field."

With a clenching jaw, you bit your tongue. "Fine. But if you think that’s going to keep me from searching, you are wrong."

"You can’t just—"

"I can, Steve." Frustration zipped through you as your fingers found your scalp. "Why is it that nobody questioned Natasha when she went after Dreykov? I'm trying to do the exact same thing!"

"No, you aren't. You are killing people without regard for what is right or wrong."

"God," you laughed and shook your head. "You know what, Steve, let's see who these people really were that you were so concerned about, yeah?" You slipped out from between the table and him, going for the large screen on the wall. Locking into the right accounts and checking the data you had prepared, you pulled the information out on a hologram. "Let's start with the two that I let live. Dimitri Petrov and his brother Mikael both Russian military and both bombers of hospitals and airports. Arseny Fedorov, whom I had to dig really deep for and the first person whose throat I slit back there, is known for flaying his victims alive." You noted Steve growing uncomfortable behind you, shifting and flinching as you pulled up the next file. "That one you're gonna like. Makar Belov, also known as The Oculist." You turned to glare at him. "You wanna know why they called him that?"

He stared back at you. "Fine," he grumbled. "What do you want me to do? Apologize?"

At his question, your glare fell from his blue orbs to the damn perfect curve of his lips. You felt your heart rhythm pick up as his gaze traveled across your face as if it was the first time, he was allowing himself to do so. Before you knew what you were doing, you were on your tippy toes with your lips catching his. Your arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in closer, as his hand fell to your hips, gripping you tightly against him. His hands found a trail downward before he lifted you with the ease of a super-soldier.

He took a few abrupt steps forward, causing your back to collide with the cool wall. You gasped in surprise but his lips were back on yours in a messy kiss, tongue grazing over your own. Your hands fell off his shoulders, hastily working to tug at the zipper of his uniform, longing to feel the strongness of his body against yours. In every fiber of your body, you could feel his want echoing as if it were your own.

The thought slipped from your mind as your hand slid under his uniform to push it from his body. For a moment his lips strayed from yours, one arm beneath you and the other pressed against the wall next to your head. Your back arched trying to get closer to him as his lips traveled down your cheek – down your neck until he pulled you off the wall and walked down the hall with precise steps. Upon crossing the threshold of his bedroom, you stopped caring where he took you. You didn’t care that only minutes prior you were close to stabbing him out of anger and didn’t care that this was merely an attempt for the both of you to relieve the tension that had been lingering in the air ever since you had met.

Your back hit the soft mattress, his fingers finding the waistband of your pants. He stopped and turned his questioning gaze on you. You gave a nod, making his eyes drop from yours as he swiftly pulled the fabric from your legs. Your fingers found their way into his freshly cut hair, while his rough fingers dug into the flesh of your thigh. Locking your legs around his, you gave a forceful shove to turn him onto his back.

You had spent many years training to throw around burly men as though they were nothing more than play dolls; a super-soldier was only a small challenge. You bent down, kissing him before pulling back with a grin. "Do you like it," you hushed against his lips, "When I kiss you, Captain?" Not granting him the pleasure once more, you hovered over his lips, waiting for him to give in first – testing him. He sat up then, hand grabbing your thigh as he guided you closer. Your chests were pressed together as you bumped your nose against his, eyes falling from his to his lips.

He lunged forward them, to lock your lips together in a heated kiss, groaning into your mouth when feeling your tongue gliding heatedly against his. His large palms groping their way along your body sent arousal creeping to your core. You couldn’t help but move against his hardness, your core hot and aching for some kind of relief. He groaned, causing you to repeat your actions, pressing down more firmly this time. His rough hands slid from where they had been gripping your thighs to your behind, encouraging you to grin down harder.

You gasped against his lips, pleasure zipping from your center to the tips of your toes, grinning as he growled lowly. "Do you want me, Cap?" You teased. Instead of answering, a hand locked around your throat, pushing you off him and into the mattress. Surprised your hand went to clutch his wrist as he lifted you by the neck to press another kiss to your lips. His other hand traveled to the hem of your panties, ripping them away as if they were no more than a thin piece of paper.

He carelessly tossed the broken garment aside, leaving you completely exposed to him. Kisses were placed up from your stomach to the skin between your chest until he reached your lips again. He took his time to enter you, leaving behind a stinging sensation brought on by his size. His body moved against yours, muscular abdomen tight against the soft flesh of yours as you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

You leaned towards his ear and smiled. "Where are your morals now, Captain?"

[therese-lokidottir]

“Loki has every power imaginable now! He’s the one above all and is finally not useless! He finally learned to quit being a selfish coward! Why aren’t you happy?! He smiled at the end! He’s happy! Why don’t you want him to be happy?! You’re an idiot who doesn’t understand emotional complexity. This is exactly like mythology!”

I’ve heard it all before from the toxic side of the fanbase. I’ve been attacked online and called stupid for expressing my dislike of the series.

I’m sick of the gaslighting toxic stans do to try and convince you to like the series and finale. You can like the finale all you want, I’ve had friends who audibly yelled excitedly to me on the phone over it. But Loki engaging in self punishing behavior ain’t growth. (Also I’m sick of people saying Loki used to be a selfish coward. Tell me you didn’t watch the films before Ragnarok without telling me.) I don’t want an All-powerful Loki, I want a healthy and healed Loki, I want him to stop hating his jotun heritage which was never touched upon. (But I feel like I’m the only one in the fanbase who feels this way, even people who disliked the series danced in the street over the finale, it’s isolating. ): )

Sorry for ranting.

Loki was a lot of things, but he was never a coward. I spend a lot of time defending him and making a point how other characters are guilty of wronging him and just have other misdeeds that make it so they don't have the right to judge Loki as harshly as they. But my point is never that Loki is an innocent and did nothing wrong. My point is always there was more to the situation then Loki is just bad.

I have made this point multiple times but Loki sacrificing himself doesn't show character growth, because he already did that before. Because hi entire character is being co-dependent on others and doing everything for others approval and validation. Sacrificing himself is just another form of that.

Everything about Loki passed and is erased and made so it can never be resolved. He can never resolve things in his family, he can never accept his heritage and he can never find his place in the world.

Loki ends his story as a martyr for the people who caused the problem he had nothing to do with and was pulled into. He lost everything and he's the one he has to be condemned forever alone while everting moves on without consequence. Even though again, they're the ones who caused the problem and isolated Loki so he had nothing to go back to.

It's not a satisfying conclusion when the story starts with Loki terrified being alone and then the story ends with him being alone.