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mapofthemazeinthemirror · 1 year ago

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When you’re sick

Warnings: none, one Monsters Inc. reference I hope won't confuse people

Please let me know which is your favourite!

☆ gender neutral reader

Soobin

You'd tried everything, from warm baths to drinking god-awful concoctions people swore by on the internet. But you were still sick. You'd been holed up in your bedroom for almost a week, leaving poor Soobin to have to sleep on the couch. You missed him, but you couldn't let him catch what you had. The only contact you'd had with him all week was through texting, and the meals he'd leave outside the bedroom door for you.

Of course, you'd been apart longer than this before; being in a successful group, Soobin often went on tour for months at a time. But this almost seemed harder, maybe because you felt miserable physically and just wanted to be held and loved on.

"I just wanted to see you," came his muffled voice, a hint whiny. "I won't come any further than this, I promise."

Sighing, you retreated from hiding. You hadn't seen him with your own eyes for what felt like longer than it actually was. There was no helping how good it felt to look at him now. "I miss you."

His lopsided smile gave you a rush of warmth. "Please get better before I go crazy."

You felt guilty. "I'm sorry. You can go and stay at Taehyun's if you-"

Soobin's mouth quirked, his brow creased. "It's not that. I just want to see you, touch you, have a real conversation. I want to hold you until we fall asleep." You felt the longing for him increase. "You always take care of me when I'm sick, even if you might catch it. Please, let me do the same for you."

His eyes held a helpless look that tugged at your heart as much as his words did. You felt your resolve crack, and it must have shown in your face, Soobin crossing the threshold and shuffling towards the bed. Relief flooded through you as he crawled up next to you and tucked you into his arms. His warmth was everything you'd needed for the past week, and he sighed as you buried your face against his neck. You swear you started melting when you felt his fingers in your hair. This was home.

Yeonjun

You weren't sure how long you'd felt like this. Time seems a blur when most of it is spent in bed, falling in and out of sleep and dreams. It took a monumental effort just to roll from one side to the other, so you couldn't remember the last time you'd eaten or showered. One small mercy was the fact that your ears were blocked, muffling the noise of the world outside the window; birds and neighbours dogs and traffic sounds couldn't disturb your sporadic naps.

Suddenly there was soft skin against your cheek, a warm palm and fingertips that you leaned into without question, and a deep sound somewhere close by. It took a few minutes for your mind to kick in and realise that these things were real and not a dream. Opening your eyes to the dim room, you found a face smiling down at you; your Yeonjun. But something was strange about this. Hadn't you been alone? Wasn't there a reason you were in the middle of the big bed, his pillow trapped between your arms?

"Junie?" You whinced as your voice seemed to reverberate through your head, your throat burning as the word tore through it.

"Hey, baby," he replied softly. You felt his fingers swipe the hair off your forehead before his nose was touching your own.

With what little strength you had, you tried to sink further into the mattress to put space between the two of you. "Jun, I'm- I'm sick."

"It's okay." You felt his arm slither under your back and peel you off the bed, pulling you into him. "I'm here."

You sniffled, swallowing against the dryness of your mouth that comes with not being able to breathe through your nose for so long. "Why?"

"'Why?'" He laughed. "Because the tour ended and I came home to you. Aren't you happy to see me?"

You nodded weakly against his chest. "Junie... I'm sick," you said again, half warning and half complaint.

His hand began to rub your back soothingly, and it felt so good to be in his arms again that you sighed heavily, raspily. "I know, babe, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't..." Words were too hard. Instead, you brought your hand to his chest and tried to push him, rather feebly, away.

A large hand wrapped around your wrist, softly pulling your arm up over his shoulder. "I don't care. I missed you."

Not having it in yourself to argue, you surrendered, letting your body totally relax into his. You had pictured him coming home after tour very differently than this. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to talk about his trip, but you couldn't fight your body. You heard the rumble of his voice again. "What?"

"I'll make you some chicken soup," he repeated. But as he tried to turn to leave the bed you grabbed a handful of his shirt. You heard him chuckle, and his arms were back around you again. "Maybe later, then."

Beomgyu

One minute you were studying, the next you were being woken by your phone blasting the most annoying ringtone Beomgyu had set for himself. You scrambled to snatch the phone off the desk where you had evidently fallen asleep. "Gyu? What time is it?"

"Half past the time you were supposed to meet me at the cinema."

Your heart sank. How long had you been asleep? "Oh no. I'm so sorry, I fell asleep."

"Why do you sound like you're talking into a tin can?"

Now that you were more awake, you noticed the feeling in your throat, the pounding of your head. Sure, falling asleep with your head on a desk wasn't the best, but you'd never known it to make your head feel like this. Come to think of it, you couldn't breathe through your nose very well either. You thought back and vaguely remembered your roommate having had a cough before she left for the weekend. There was a knock at the door.

"Hang on," you said into the phone, crossing the small space to open the door and-

"You look terrible," Beomgyu said, to your face and in your ear before hanging up. His cheeks were flushed, telling you he'd walked all the way here, in the cold, probably to check on you.

"Wow, thanks," you deadpanned as you let him in. "When's the next showing? Maybe we can make that one."

Your boyfriend pulled his hood down and looked at you for a moment before pressing his palm to your forehead. Trying not to flinch at the coldness of his hand, you looked up at him, his eyes still studying you.

"You're hot," he told you.

You scoffed, but it came out as more of a cough. "That's not what you were saying a minute ago."

Without another word, Beomgyu's hands were on your shoulders, turning you around and steering you through the small dorm room and sitting you down on your bed. Then he disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a towel that he pressed against your head.

"I'm fine," you sighed. "Let's go see the movie."

Beomgyu tisked, gesturing for you to hold the towel before dipping to his knees to pull off your slippers. "The only movie you're seeing tonight is the DVD I got you for Christmas." Standing up again, he shooed you up the bed and pulled the covers over you.

"But we've seen that a hundred times," you whined. You'd been looking forward to a night out with your boyfriend; the movie, popcorn, leaving the confines of your dorm room after so many days and nights of studying.

"But you love it," he retorted, mocking your whiny tone. He handed you the remote for the tiny TV at the foot of your bed. "I'm guessing you haven't had dinner?" You shook your head. "Got any cup ramen?" You nodded.

You opened your mouth again to complain, but the words never came as Beomgyu kissed you on the top of the head and walked over to boil the kettle. Instead you let yourself sink into the comfort of your bed, only now noticing how exhausted you actually were. So you weren't going to get your date, but how could you complain when you had a boyfriend like this?

Taehyun

You were up before Taehyun this morning - an unusual occurrence. You'd woken up with a funny feeling in your throat and quickly but quietly escaped his room to cough without waking him. Then you'd tiptoed to the kitchen to boil water, eyes meeting with Yeonjun's who was sitting at the table eating cereal. His smirk said it all.

You were sat on the couch when Taehyun emerged from his room, tired eyes searching for you. By now, Soobin and Beomgyu were also sitting at the table eating. Taehyun plodded over to you. "Morning."

"Don't get contaminated," Yeonjun called, looking up from his phone. You narrowed your eyes at him.

Soobin, who looked like he could've still been half asleep, whipped his head up in confusion, chewing his toast with a new expression.

Taehyun's eyes swept from his friend to you, scanning your face for signs of anything amiss. "Are you not feeling well?"

"M'fine," you croaked, arms wrapped around yourself inside your hoodie as you tried to hold off a shiver.

"Tried to cough up a whole cat this morning," Yeonjun snitched. Soobin looked between Yeonjun and Beomgyu, still puzzled, his messy bed hair comedically flapping side to side.

You rolled your eyes, looking up at Taehyun with a small pout. "I just have a cough. It's probably the change in the weather."

"Or bronchitis."

Taehyun ignored the oldest boy's comment as he crouched down in front of you. "Do you want me to go to the pharmacy?"

"Really," you persisted. "I'm fine. I feel okay, just an itchy throat." As if on cue, you started to cough again, burying your face into the crook of your arm, then quickly tried to recover yourself. "I don't want you to worry."

"Sounds like a duck," Beomgyu said with a tone that gave away his amusement.

Taehyun sighed and rubbed up and down your arms comfortingly. "I just want to help you feel better, so anything you need, you just tell me, okay?"

You nodded. He stood up and went to the kitchen to start breakfast, giving you a kiss on the cheek first. Suddenly there was a commotion, as Beomgyu grabbed his breakfast bowl and ran from the kitchen yelling, "twenty-three nineteen!"

Huening Kai

The first thing that you noticed was a dull ache in your head. You'd taken some pain relief, thinking it was just a normal headache, and pushed on to get ready for your dinner plans. Kai's parents were always so happy to have you for dinner, and to see him catching up with them and his sisters made you happy, too.

You started to feel a little weak halfway through your meal, participating in conversation less and less, and after dinner you'd slipped away to a quiet room for what was supposed to be a few minutes. Your body felt heavy, more exhausted than what would be expected, and as you sat on an armchair in the dimly lit room, you became aware of the dull ache in your muscles. Eyes closing, the sound of distant chatter and laughter from the dining room lulled you quickly into unexpected sleep.

Kai had thought you were gone for the bathroom, and after ten minutes of your absence, his eyes flicking to the door every so often in anticipation of your reappearance, he thought he should check on you - maybe something you'd eaten wasn't agreeing with you. When he'd knocked on the bathroom door and there was no reply, he'd let himself in only to find it empty. He checked the kitchen, then the garden, then walked back to the dining room to see if you'd returned there while he'd been away. His mother joined him as he went to check the living room.

The two of them found you dozing and lowered their voices to a whisper, Mrs. Huening commenting that you hadn't seemed yourself earlier. Kai gently touched the back of his hand to your forehead and found it clammy. This, along with the headache you'd mentioned before the drive up and how quiet you'd been, probably meant you'd come down with something, and he decided to take you home.

That's how you woke up in Kai's arms, in the cold night air, on the way to the car. "There you are," he said when he noticed you awake. "Have a nice nap?"

You noticed a sore throat was beginning as you spoke, glancing around the street. "We're leaving?"

His soft brown eyes met yours as he continued to walk. His arms kept you steady against his chest, so you barely felt like you were on the move. "You're exhausted. You fell asleep."

You hated that you were the reason Kai's family time was being cut short and that you hadn't said goodbye to anyone. "I'm fine, Hyuka. Let's go back. Please?"

He came to a stop as he reached the car, looking down into your eyes again with a soft smile. "You need rest. We'll go home, I'll run a bath, and then we'll get into bed." Seeing you open your mouth to argue, he added, "Let me take care of you."

You couldn't argue with that.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

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tubatwo · 2 years ago

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(숩) home - choi soobin

summary: your first time dealing with a sulky, jealous soobin

pairing: gn reader x choi soobin

genre: fluff.. slight angst?; 1.2k words

tonight was another dorm movie night planned with the boys. taehyun was in charge of picking the movie, beomgyu and kai were in charge of making the popcorn, yeonjun was in charge of setting up the living room, and soobin… well soobin was in charge of just being attached to you.

ㅤ

“how much longer are you going to make y/n carry your 6-foot ass?” yeonjun asks while placing a variety of drinks on the table. you hear beomgyu and kai cackle from the kitchen, and taehyun lets out a soft chuckle himself. soobin was currently wrapped around you like a koala, waddling around with you as you tried to help the boys set up.

“they’re not even carrying me!” soobin exclaims, “and they don’t mind either... right baby?” you chuckle and shake your head. “no, I don’t mind at all.” soobin makes a face at the others and finally releases himself from you. “I have to use the bathroom really quick!” he kisses your cheek and walks towards the bathroom.

beomgyu and kai return from the kitchen and place bowls of popcorn on the table. “yah, y/n, I don’t know how you deal with him.” beomgyu teasingly looks at you with pity. kai nods in agreement, “I can’t believe he’s even showing this much pda around us, it’s almost adorable.” he says. “that means he’s too comfortable with us, we should change that.” taehyun chimes in, making everyone laugh.

“guys, leave him alone,” you whine, “it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” yeonjun walks up to you and dramatically grabs both of your hands. “and what about us y/n? did you not miss your sweet junie?” you all start giggling as the rest of the boys join in and start doing aegyo. “yeah! what about your cutie beombu, hmm?” soon the room goes silent as you hear the bathroom door close. soobin walks in giving death glares to everyone in the room, except you, of course. “papa rabbit has arrived, guys.” taehyun says playfully.

“leave y/n alone, seriously,” soobin walks over to separate you and yeonjun, “you all are a bunch of pests.”

eventually, you all sit down to finally watch the movie. there was no actual hostility in the room, and the boys were just teasing soobin. he knew that. it wasn’t anything new, but sometimes you would glance over at him to find an unreadable expression on his face.

later that night, you and soobin are both sitting on his bed after finishing up your skincare routines. you get ready to turn off the table lamp until you notice him sulking. “hey, what’s wrong?” you ask. he glances at you before responding, “nothing…” you can tell that he’s not actually upset with you. you’ve comforted him enough times to know when he’s truly struggling with something, but still, you know that there’s something on his mind.

you slowly crawl into his lap and see him turn his head in the opposite direction. “baby? honey?” you tickle his sides softly, smiling as you watch him try his hardest not to smile. “I know you’re not actually upset with me,” you begin, “you’re sulking about something.” you wrap your arms around his neck and place a soft kiss on his cheek. “please tell me, bunny.” the nickname makes his lips twitch as he finally looks over at you. “i’m mad at yeonjun.”

your eyes widen for a second before asking, “what? why?” his pout deepens. “he was flirting with you…” a small chuckle slips out of your mouth, causing him to sulk again and try to get up. “no, no, i’m sorry.” you wrap your arms even tighter around him, preventing him from leaving. “I won’t laugh anymore, I promise.”

“but…” you begin, “what about beomgyu? you aren’t mad at him?” you ask. soobin thinks for a second. “i’ve learned to tune him out...” he admits, making you both giggle.

this was your first time seeing soobin jealous, and you could tell that he didn’t exactly know how to handle it. truthfully, you didn’t either. part of you thought that it was cute, definitely a little funny considering it was about yeonjun, but you also knew that soobin was an overthinker. you knew that you had to put an end to whatever he was thinking before it went too far.

“you know they weren’t really flirting, right?” you ask quietly, not wanting to make the mood too awkward. “they do it to be funny, or mess with you, that’s all.” soobin nods and looks down, suddenly becoming more interested in a stray thread on your pajama pants.

“could you wrap your arms around me, please?” you ask, you’d been sitting on his lap the entire time while his arms were off to the side. he looks at you and immediately relaxes after seeing your eyes full of adoration. even if he wanted to be mad at you, he couldn’t. he wraps his arms around you and sighs in content.

“I love you, soobin.” you stroke his cheek softly. “the love of my life. my entire world. I know the boys are just messing with you and deep down you know it too, but even if it were a stranger on the street, I still wouldn’t pay them any mind.” you explain to him. “there’s no need, because I have everything i’ve ever dreamed of right here.”

“you are the only one I love, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.” you finish. soobin buries his head in your neck as you slip your hands under his shirt to rub circles on his back. “my soob, my home.” soon enough, you feel tears on your shoulder and soobin’s body starting to shake. “oh baby... hey, please look at me...” you lift his head and the sight nearly makes you melt. a red nose, puffy cheeks, and tear-stained eyes staring back at you with all the love in the world. you wipe his tears as he apologizes.

“i’m sorry.” he sniffles. “don’t apologize.” you reassure him, trying not to cry yourself. “no really, I overreacted and I just-” you nod, encouraging him to continue. “it wasn’t about yeonjun… I was just scared of losing you.” he explains. a few seconds pass before he continues. “for a split second, I imagined a moment where you really left me for someone else… and it absolutely killed me.” soobin chokes up once again. “and here you are… treating me so gently… like i’m the most precious thing on earth… I just started getting emotional.”

“I really love you,” he confesses, “I love you so much, baby.” at this point, your attempts to stay sane are thrown out the window. “noooo, angel…” he frowns at the sight of you crying, wiping your tears just like you wiped his. “i’m sorry.” he whines. you give him a knowing look and he chuckles. “right, no apologizing!”

after a while of sniffling and wiping tears, you stare at each other. the room is silent. nothing matters except you two and the love you share. eventually, he leans in and kisses your lips. “thank you for cherishing me.” he whispers. “it’s the easiest thing in the world, my love.” you kiss his nose. “I promise that I would never go anywhere.” you crawl back under the covers and finally turn the lamp off. the night ends peacefully with soobin placing soft kisses down your neck and wrapped around you like a koala once again.

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dceasesd · 7 months ago

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why juni ba’s the boy wonder has my favorite jason characterization of any contemporary comic run: a needlessly in-depth analysis (pt.2)

alright here we are with part two! i promised i'd be quick with it, didn't i? you can find part one here. thank you guys so much for all the nice comments, i love yapping to a receptive audience :D

so, if you haven't read part one, i've been going over the common critques of ba's characterization of jason, the main three being:

the typical boiling down of jason's character to "the angry one"

his lack of strategy going into the fight with the demon is out-of-character

the neighbor's kid interaction

in the first part we went over #1, so now were gonna look at #2!

so, a problem people have with the story is how ba writes jason's reaction to the fight with rok (white tophat demon guy); damian and jason jump into the fight with seemingly no preparation at all, "underestimating" rok and paying the price for it.

i'll be honest, i do agree with this critque a bit. jason, if he is nothing else, is an obsessive planner and strategist; his back-up plans have back-up plans, and so on. we see this in plenty of his comic renditions, especially in lost days and under the red hood, where there are numerous examples of jason's competency. despite this, many comics fall into the habit of treating him as the "reckless, stupid robin", once again reducing his character to just his anger, usually to make the other robins more competent. looking at his actions in utrh & lost days, however, makes him jumping into a fight with no information uncharacteristic.

so, i sort of agree with this critque. HOWEVER. i will attempt to rationalize this part of ba's writing (because there are still parts of it i disagree with and it's more fun than just agreeing and moving on)

alright, to begin, lets look at these three different series; utrh (under the red hood), lost days, and the boy wonder. there is obviously many other examples out there, but i'm just gonna focus on these three for now because otherwise we'd be here all day.

in utrh & lost days, jason is driven by an obvious goal with an obvious end result; in utrh his goal is making bruce kill the joker & taking over gotham's underbelly, and in lost days it is getting skilled enough to complete the previously mentioned objective. i also chose to highlight the scene where jason puts a bomb underneath the batmobile in lost days, intending to kill bruce, because it's another very clear example of jason's strategic prowess. the whole bomb thing even happens before jason starts his murder training, making the feat even more impressive.

ba's jason, though, exists in a reality post-utrh; his plan failed and he must live with the consequences and implications of that truth. the recklessness that he presents in the fight in the boy wonder could be a representation of him grappling with this idea-- his supposed failure and banishment obviously must have had an effect on his psyche, and ba is attempting to portray that. ba plays a lot with the sadder side of jason's existence in the comic, so it's a plausibly theory, even if it is admittedly reaching a bit.

additionally, referring back to the earlier conversation about jason's anger in the first part of this discussion, i have the same sentiments about portrayal's of jason's recklessness. he can possess a strategic mind while still being reckless; it's his numerous paradoxical character traits that make him such an interesting character (at least to me). he's a mess of contradictions.

furthermore, while jason's actions are reckless and brash in this specific instance of the story, that does not mean that ba presents him as a reckless character. there's a difference between a reckless character and a character being reckless, and i feel like jason mostly falls into the latter. while maybe not super obvious, jason's tactical-ness is still present in ba's portrayal. this is represented through damian's responses and reactions to jason.

the fact that damian goes to jason for help in the first place is baffling. as a prideful kid desperate to prove himself, damian is not predisposed to asking for help, which is clearly presented in the first issue when he interacts with dick and babs.

damian's willingness to work with jason could be a result of him recognizing their similarities; he's more approachable than dick "golden boy" grayson. beyond that, he goes to jason because he needs a certain set of skills to help him catch the demon.

while jason is not able to fully present his usefulness at this task because the demon finds them first, he is clearly seen taking charge of the situation and dictating their plan to locate the demon, and damian actually defers to him. while brief, this instance represents that despite his recklessness in the battle against rok, ba still accurately presents jason's tactical skills, underscoring the intelligence he has that so many author's ignore or downplay.

i could go into how this plays into jason being a foil character to damian, but i'll save it for another day. sorry if this post is a little nonsensical, i did my best. i'll finish up my analysis in part 3! :)

part 1 / part 3

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thewritingofspencerrose · 1 year ago

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Crumbling Down

carlos sainz x Piquet!wife oc & secret family

this is meant with no real negativity to cs55's girlfriend rebecca, and only discusses her in a slight poor light due to plot reasons.

Private Account

verity.sainz a perfect break with my whole world before flying is restricted once more by baby #4 🤍

carlossainz55 mi corazon ❤️

f1wags and we're back to race week with the first public appearance of Carlos Sainz's new girlfriend!

fan1 WHY DOES HE HAVE HIS EYES OPEN WHEN THEY KISS?

"Carlo," I can't help the crack in my voice when I say his name, "You said you would say no to them. You said you wouldn't abuse our desire to keep our private life private like this."

"Mi amor," The pet name hurts, something that used to make my body buzz with joy making me want to cry harder as I wrap my arm around my rounded stomach. "They were insistent, I've never had a woman come to the paddock outside my family and they say I needed to change that."

"You haven't gone with a woman because we decided to remain private! We didn't want to pressures of the world! So we got married, and then we had Carlos and Junie and then they were each too young to go, and just as we were about to announce the family, I got pregnant with Flora and now with Tilly-"

"Tilly? As in Matilda?" He asks, interrupting my emotional rate with a tone that is too close to joy. "You found out the baby's gender?"

We had picked out names. This wasn't how he was supposed to find out.

"Yes, she's a little girl," I admit, "The kids and I had a whole plan how to announce it once you got home."

"I can't wait to see what you have planned," Is his answer, the sounds of the garage around him getting slowly quieter as I can only assume he moves towards his drivers room.

The idea of him coming home after kissing her to kiss me, to kiss our children's foreheads, makes me want to be sick.

"At the moment Carlos, I can't promise the kids and I will be here when you get home," I whisper, the truth slipping out like razorblades. "I think we're going to go see my parents."

"Vera, you're not meant to be flying. We were cutting it close with out trip as it is," He answers, voice strong and commanding.

"That's what's upsetting you? The fact that I will be traveling and not that I've just told you that your wife and children won't be home to greet you when you return because you're parading around another woman? Because when Carlos and Junie put on the race to see their father they'll see her name with yours underneath?"

"Verity, you know that's not what I want-"

"Then why did you agree? Why did you agree after I cried to you about how the idea of you with another woman made me ill?"

"It was for a good reason," His answer is hesitant, and you can tell he doesn't mean it.

"I hope the reason was enough for you, Carlos, because I can't keep letting you love us in the dark. We'll be with a friend since you're so concerned about me traveling." He did have a good point on that matter, but I can't help but say it before hanging up, not giving him a moment to respond as I waddle my way to the living room, dropping myself on the couch.

"Mamá?" Carlos III's voice calls, his head of hair like his fathers sticking out from behind the hallway wall, "Que occure? (What happened?)"

"Oh my baby, nothing happened," I try to assure, attempting to get all the tears off my cheeks before he can really notice.

"Mamá," He prompts this time, sounding entirely fed up with my response as he moves into the room, such a serious look for a seven year old. "I heard you on the phone with Papá. What has he done?"

"Something that you do not need to worry yourself about mi mundo (my world)," I assure, pulling him into my side as he gets close. He curls into my side, hand resting on my stomach as he's done with his other sisters.

"Hola Tilly," He greets her, placing a quick kiss to where he feels her kick before looking up to me, his father's spitting image. "We're going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"No, you're father made the point that I can't travel anymore, so we're going to go see if tia Kelly and prima Penelope are up for some visitors, yeah?"

"I'll go get my suitcase and start packing," He agrees, giving me a small smile as he moves to get up. I know I'll have to repack his suitcase later, but as he runs off, all I can be is grateful for this little angel who blessed us when we were young and unprepared, much to my fathers chagrin. But my kids are who keep me together as I dial my sister's number, tears coming to my eyes when I hear her voice.

"Vera? Honey are you crying?"

"Kel, can the kids and I come visit?"

"Always. P will prep her toys and I will prep the guest rooms."

"What the fuck were you thinking," The angered Red Bull driver shouts across the paddock, storming towards the Ferrari drivers who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Max, what's-"

"This doesn't involve you, Charlie," The Dutchman silences, eyes blazes of fire as they move to the Spaniard who's practically his brother-in-law. "You brought your girlfriend to a race and expected that to go well with your wife? The mother of your four children?"

"Tell me you did not," Charles chimes in, unable to keep the words from slipping out of his mouth at news. He had seen Carlos with a woman earlier, but had only assumed her to be a new member of his media team.

"It is none of your concern, Verstappen. What happens between my wife and I is just that."

"And I'll respect that when your actions aren't broadcasted to the entire world and having Vera call Kelly sobbing saying she's packing up the kids and leaving," Max fumes, Carlos's expression dropping at the knowledge. He had known that she was upset, that she had threatened to leave, but he thought it was just that, a threat. Not that she would actually leave the home they had designed together in Nice.

"After this race you better fix your fucking mess, because I will enforce whatever Verity wants, whether that is keeping you away from her and the kids or not."

And the Dutchman storms off, not waiting for a response.

"Kelly, I am only here to see my family."

"Carlos, you've been in our family for nine years, by law seven, but I can promise you that if Vera doesn't want you here, you will not be entering this apartment," The elder Piquet daughter warns, eyes angered by the mans simple presence.

"Kel, can I come in?" Max questions, not wanting to answer her more but also hoping to embrace her and Penelope, any week without them feeling too long.

She smiles at him, having missed him as well but her expression quickly steels. "Not if you are bringing him in with you."

"Kelly," I finally interrupt, having enough of seeing her scold my husband through the door as I breastfeed Flora. "You can just let them in, but please warn Max that I'm feeding Flora," I request, hating the idea of making the man uncomfortable in his home.

"You're okay, Ver," Max offers, his eyes immediately meeting my own and not leaving as Kelly opens the door, him and Carlos entering. "Kelly and I are actually going to go say hi to the kids, I've missed P and all of them," he says, kissing my sisters lips in a quick peck.

"Is Flora done? We could take her with us?" And it's like Flor could understand her aunt's question, because she's unlatching on cue, allowing me to pull up the piece of my top to cover myself and nod to Kel.

"Would you please? She just needs to be-"

"Burped," Max finished, taking my current youngest into his arms, kissing her head as he moves her to his shoulder. "Between P and my nephews, we've got this covered. Just let us know when you're done," He offers, kissing the side of my head.

"Thank you."

"Anything for family," He just smiles, the expression falling when he turns to Carlos who has been frozen in place. "Say the wrong things and your ass will be on the street before you can say forza ferrari."

"Sí- I mean, yes, of course," His eyes meeting mine before his next words leave his mouth. "I just want to talk apologize my wife."

"Right then, let's go say his to the kids," Kelly prompts, the two walking out with Flora in hand, the cheers of the kids upon seeing their uncle and P seeing her father figure making my heart warm.

"Mi amor, you have no idea how sorry I am for agree to the teams request for even a moment," Carlo apologizes, his body moving towards mine, taking the spot beside me and my hands into his own. "I went back to the team, they've posted an announcement saying that Rebecca and I are not together, and I gave them a photo of us from our wedding."

My heart beat fastens, his eyes meeting mine as his fingers start to fiddle with my wedding band. "Why would you do that?"

"I am having it announced that before my start in formula one I have been madly in love with you. That over those years we have married and created a family in private that I love," He explains, a hand coming to cup my cheek, running his calloused thumb to wipe away the tears that have begun slowly running from my eyes. "I no longer want to hide you. We can keep the kids to ourselves until they're older, but now everyone knows I am taken by the love of my life."

"Carlo," I can't help but whimper, flinging myself at him in a hug. "Te amaré hasta que ya no respire (i will love you until i am no longer breathing)."

"And I, you, mi amor," He assures, kissing the top of my head. "I am more sorry than I could ever put into words."

"You've fixed the situation, Carlo, we can work from this," I smile, little giggles alerting us to our observers.

And wrapped around the corner, piled on top of each other, our children's heads and niece's head are stacked, Junie's under her brothers and Penelope's in between. It's only a moment later thought that Flora appears to be floating on top of Carlos III, Max and Kelly's heads slowly appearing as well.

"Estan bien mamá y papá? (Are you okay mama and papa?)" Juniper questions us, Carlos III placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Sí," Carlos Jr answers, pulling us into a sitting position. "Ven aquí nuestros amores (Come here our loves)." Their little feet carry them strong and fast towards us, gently climbing on top of us, minding my stomach as Kelly approaches us, now holding Flora and resting her gently against my chest with a smile. "We are okay, Papa made a mistake but he has started fixing it and I will be working to so for a time."

"As you should," Carlos III digs, making me smile slightly.

"We love you all," I remind, kissing eaches head, including Penelope. "And we love each other. No matter what, things will work out and we will love you all," my little girl giggling brightly.

"Nosotros tambien te amamos mama (we love you too mama)."

#original character #the writing of spencer rose #formula 1 fanfiction #best friends to lovers trope #formula 1 #long story #carlos sainz #secret family #carlos sainz x reader #cs55 #carlos sainz imagine #pregnancy #piquet oc #max verstappen #kelly piquet

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lxvvie · 1 year ago

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i loooove girl dad Ghost tbh!! would he have any pet names for his girl/s??

also feel like he's the type to say or well, feel "Ever felt like you're the most important person in the universe? That's how it feels like" in regards to their love for their dad ahhh 😭

Simon, I think, would have two girls.

The eldest is a bit of a worrywart, always concerned for her father's well-being even though she doesn't know the extent of his job. Simon suspects otherwise, though, based on some of the comments she's made in the past. She's a sponge, that one, absorbing the world in her own unique way. Has always gravitated towards the sciences, too, and wants to help people when she gets older ("Like you help people, papa!" "...Be better than me, sweetheart"). He calls her Doc because he believes she'll become one and because she's Mum's assistant when the missus is on sick duty. She resembles his mother when she furrows her brows in thought and/or when she smiles.

The youngest is a smart-ass like her father. She has her moments of irreverence but she means well. Mostly. Nothing ever gets past her because you can't keep anything hidden from her for long. Love language is pranking and teasing her family (her big sister primarily) and only SHE can do it, thank you very much. Is much more sensitive than she lets on and usually needs some time and space to process changes like Simon leaving for an assignment. Has been known to outright avoid him like the plague when he comes home injured because she doesn't want to see her strong Papa as anything less than that and he also promised he'd be safe so now she's mad at him for breaking said promise. Her nickname is Junie (for "Junior") because she was Simon's spitting image when she was first born. She has his eyes.

#2queued4u.#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x you #ghost x you #simon riley x reader #call of duty x reader #x black reader #call of duty x black reader #task force 141 #cod x you #cod x black reader #cod mwii #cod mw3 #dad!simon

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thy-valhallen · 8 months ago

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I'VE GOT FUCKING WORDS FOR YOU, DC

Okay, so the "Boy Wonder" series has a lot of promise and I really like the vibe it's going for, but. But.

Look at the descriptors of the Robins and tell me if something seems off.

This is so fucking rude. I get it, this is a story centered on Damian and him finding his way in the family, "earning" his place. But if this is the vibe we're getting for Jason already, I'm already filled with dread of how they'll portray him.

Jason isn't made of rage, there's a lot more to his character-- they could've centered on the incredible loyalty that drives a lot of his anger, his resiliency, his determination, anything. But no, Jason is just the Angry One again. And it just makes it all the more blatant, having him between Dick and Tim, with their wholly complimentary descriptors, while his are distinctly framed as negative.

I really like the first issue, Juni Ba's style is delightful and bright and whimsical in a slanted way I adore, haunting and sharp angles and beautiful Asian/Middle Eastern art influences that really pop in the panels. But this...

This, "The Rageful Red Hood," takes away from the love I wanted to have for the comic before it could even build

I really want to hope that this is a set-up/knockdown situation, that the rage is Damian's perception of him, that he'll have more depth. But I can't put all my hope on that, knowing how many comics before this I've prayed would do the same and didn't deliver

#dc #dc comics #batfam #jason todd #red hood #boy wonder #i'm holding out that it treats jason better #but dc... you've burned me so many times #also i know this is petty #but i have a favorite man and i will defend him mercilessly #i support todd rights and todd wrongs

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clownprincehoeshi · 5 months ago

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Parallel Hearts - Chapter 10

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 10.453

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Rebloging is important and much apreciated. Leave your comments, oppinions, ideas, whatever you like. My inbox in open. Kpop writers, let’s be moots?

Things were awkward at dinner that night. You wanted to just stay in your room and sleep, but Hana didn’t let you be so petty.

Even though you knew you had feelings for Soonyoung, you were not sure how deep they went and you didn’t really know what to do about them, because you promised yourself to never fall in love again or get involved again.

You also didn’t know that he felt pretty much the same, maybe a little more confused and in denial about his feelings.

He knew he had feelings for you and that he found you ridiculously sexy.

Right after dinner, the guys decided to watch a movie. Jun dragged you to the couch and made you sit next to him for cuddles.

He felt you were not in a good mood so he wanted to keep you close and safe. You thought you will tell him tomorrow about the conversation you had with Hoshi.

The couch was in an U shape and everyone was sitting and laying on it. You could feel the whole movie Soonyoung’s eyes on you.

The back of your head was burning, you felt really conflicted and flustered.

Jun: Are you ok?

Y/N: Not really, but I don’t want to talk about it today.

Jun: Ok, whenever you’re ready.

Y/N: Thanks, Juni!

And you ended that with a kiss on his head.

You couldn’t miss the way Hoshi was watching you that moment. He looked almost… jealous? You were sure you were wrong.

As soon as the movie ended, you said goodnight and ran to your room, not waiting to hear a response from anyone.

After some minutes, Hana came into the room.

Hana: Ok, let’s talk.

Y/N: Not today. Pleeeaase!

Hana: Like…Soonyoung looked like a sad puppy all night. What are you planning on doing about this situation?

Y/N: I don’t know, I’d rather not do anything and it will go away with time.

Hana: Stupid, but whatever.

Y/N: Why, what would you do?

Hana: First, I would stop being a coward who’s running away from love.

You scoff and move to the window to watch the moon.

Y/N: Pffff love? Let’s say that’s what I’m feeling. How do I know it’s what he’s feeling? We know he doesn’t want to get into something serious anytime soon. He said it himself, he said he’s not ready for that. What f it’s just fun for him? What if I give him a chance and after he gets what he needs and he gets bored, I end up broken again? Then what, start from the beginning again and again?

Hana: Nobody knows what could happen. And I really doubt that he is that type of guy to just look for an easy fuck. Like come on, he’s so harmless. Even when he gets angry and yells at his members it makes you laugh you ass off.

Y/N: Exactly! I can’t even take his anger seriously. Don’t you think that’s an issue? How could I take his words, his confession seriously?

Hana: Girl, you’re talking nonsense right now. I thought you were smarter than that. Is it the Sun? Did it fry your neurons? I think that you laughing when he gets angry is the cutest thing ever, I wish I had that with a guy.

Y/N: You know what? This conversation will end up frying my brain, let’s just talk about it another day. I just want to sleep and start work again in two days. There is so much to do for the next concerts, we should focus on that.

In the morning, you made sure to wake up really early and be in the parking lot first, so you could get a seat in the car in the front and next to someone else, not Hoshi.

You decided you will try to stay away from him for a while.

It was not easy thought, because you worked together. You had to see him every day. You took the plane together, had all the meetings together, all the rehearsals, and almost all dinners after the show.

You would catch him looking at you with sad eyes and pouty lips. You thought he hasn’t changed at all from his baby pictures. The same pouty cute face.

You were sure you never met anyone cuter and more adorable than him and it was driving you crazy.

You were sure he was doing things on purpose just to get a reaction from you. He would bump into you “by accident” while in a crowded space when there were rehearsals or shows going on.

He would just look you right in the eyes and say sorry, then run away like he got shy.

You were having a couple concerts in France and you were in Paris for the week. The company decided that it was good for publicity to have the boys attend some shows for the fashion week.

Somehow, you ended up going too at the YSL show where Jeonghan was a brad ambassador. You had to go shopping for this and pick some fancy clothes and accessories.

At the event, you chose to wait a little outside to see the boys arriving. It felt thrilling. The crowd was huge and so noisy, everyone brought albums and photocards, hoping they’ll get signed.

You remember when you were like them few years back, dreaming of seeing your idols. Now you are working for them and it gave you some encouragement that your life is good and you’ll be fine.

Maybe dating an idol was never a good idea for you. While you were deep in your thoughts, you felt someone pat your shoulder. You turn to see an unfamiliar face. A guy who seemed to be a paparazzi.

Paparazzi: Excuse me, do we know each other? I feel like I know you.

Y/N: Uhhh, no, I don’t think so. You don’t look familiar.

Paparazzi: Wait, were you in Italy like 2 years ago?

Y/N: I was, yeah. Why?

Paparazzi: Damn, I still have a good memory.

Hana: So how do you know her?

Paparazzi: It’s a crazy story, but I was paid to follow you on your vacation and take pictures.

Y/N: Ohh? People would do anything for money, uh?

Paparazzi: Hey, was just doing my job and the money were really good. But I remember that just a few of the pictures were published, I never found out what happened with the rest.

Y/N: Do you happen to still have the rest of the photos?

Paparazzi: No, the guys who paid me made sure I deleted everything after. But I could just tell you what they were about.

Y/N: Yes!!

Paparazzi: Well, it showed you and your boyfriend holding hands, kissing, stuff like that. What was the deal, was like one of you cheating on your spuse? Why would someone want normal photos like those?

Y/N: Oh, no, nothing like that. Just a stalker ex, but it was all solved in the end and he stopped with his harassing.

Paparazzi: Glad to hear that. Well I need to go and photograph some celebrities now. Take care!

Y/N: You too!

Hana: That was weird. What a strange coincidence.

Y/N: Indeed. Weird.

You could barely see the boys behind the crowd of screaming fans, so you decided it was better to go inside the venue and find your seats.

It was an old theatre where all guests were sitting all around the huge place. the models would walk between the seatings. The lighting show was really something, and the music went to perfect with it.

You were like a little kid, fascinated by this new world you were discovering. It also made you feel somewhat happy that Soonyoung was there too.

He was doing everything in his power not to look at you too often, because he was afraid it would be obvious and raise suspicions.

But Jeonghan really wanted your team to be there and just have a fun evening doing something different.

When the show was over, everyone came around the boys to take photos and interviews. There were other idols invited there, Jackson, Bam Bam, Eunwoo, Karina, Sana.

Your eyes immediately went to Hoshi when he started interacting with Karina. You remember they filmed for a show together, but you couldn’t help the jealousy that was creeping up.

Afterall, you could not compare to her. She was so pretty, charming and she’s in the same industry as him. You’re sure she would be a better match for him than you.

Yeah, of course you dated idols and you weren’t ugly, but look at her. She’s famous and rich, you’re not.

Y/N: Hana,let’s go, ok?

Hana: But we decided we’ll have dinner all of us together after this and discuss some more about the show in 3 days.

Y/N: Ugh, fuck! You’re right, it’s important to decide tonight what are we going to do about the videos we’ll chose for the big wall.

Hana: Let’s have a drink then we’ll head with our team to the restaurant, ok?

After one drink you felt a little tipsy. You thought you barely had any alcohol in your cocktail, but guess not.

The guys were still mingling with organisers, press people, celebrities and even models.

Hana: Stop being so obvious! Those girls won’t eat him.

Y/N: What if they do? He looks like a tiny delicious cute cake. They have eyes.

Hana: God, you’re an idiot in love.

As you two were whispering net to your colleagues, some guys that were much older than you came over to talk to you.

“Hello there, can we offer you girls a drink? We’re William and David, nice to meet you!”

Hana: Hello, thank you for your offer, but we are on our way out soon.

William: Oh, no way! Why leave so early?

Y/N: We have dinner reservations and need to meet our friends.

Davis: We won’t hear that. Tell you what, we have a better idea. How about you join us on our yacht and continue the party there?

These guys were becoming annoying and you just hate people who won’t take your first answer and will keep insisting.

You look around, trying to not get angry, because you know if they won’t shut up soon you’ll make them eat their words.

While you’re trying to distract yourself and letting your friends manage the situation, you catch Mingyu staring your direction.

He shakes his head, trying to figure out if you’re ok. He could see your annoyed face and they old guys who looked a little drunk all over your group.

Then you see him walk in your direction and you gulp. What is he doing? There is press here.

He puts his arms around the two men’s shoulders, towering over them.

Mingyu: Hello! How are you, my friends?

William: Oh, excuse me, we were having a conversation here. Who are you?

Mingyu: You don’t remember me? Come on, drink with me!

And he drags them to the bar with his strong arms, the men not realising what’s going on. He saved you. Once again. A little giggle went trough you, as you were watching him trying his best to make the men feel uncomfortable, giving them some of their own medicine.

You took advantage and left to the restaurant and after half an hour, the rest of the people arrived also. You wanted to thank Mingyu in person so you gave him a sign with your hand to follow you, after you all ordered your food.

You found a place outside where you sat on a bench.

Mingyu: Are you ok?

Y/N: Yes, just wanted to thank you for that.

Mingyu: Oh, don’t mention it. I will always help a friend in need.

Y/N: We’re friends?

Mingyu: I hope we are. You don’t want to?

Y/N: Umm…I don’t want to be enemies and we work together. So we kind of need to be friends.

Mingyu: I guess I’m not forgiven yet.

Y/N: Sorry, was not trying to sound rude. I forgave you, but it feels weird.

Mingyu: Yeah, true. But how are you after…everything that happened?

Y/N: Good, I think. It’s been some months since we broke up. It’s been tough at first, but now I can say that I’m over it and happy. What about you?

Mingyu: Um, yeah. I am fine. It left me disappointed in myself that I wasn’t more careful about the people around me. I can be pretty naïve and stupid. Anyway, it’s in the past and it’s done.

Y/N: You think we can be friend just like we used to be before?

Mingyu: You bet! I’m ready to start over.

Y/N: I think I’m ready too. I miss you. Our friendship

He takes your hand is his, while looking ahead at some trees. A moment of silence follows. This was a decisive moment that helped you realise your feelings for him were not there anymore. He felt just as a friend and you were glad.

Mingyu: Let’s get back inside, don’t want your boyfriend get the wrong idea.

Y/N: My what?

He just have you a wink and ran away giggling.

Y/N: Yaa, Kim Mingyu!

Seungcheol: What are you two up to? Come on, food is here!

Mingyu: Yes, dad!

Soonyoung avoided your eyes for the rest of the night. He felt sad and angry. He couldn’t believe Mingyu would try to get back with you after he said he is over you and there can’t be anything between you anymore. After he told Mingyu he liked you and asked for advice.

But Mingyu played with him before, he could do it again, right? He decided to have a work with him after dinner.

22:38

Kwon Hoshi: Mingyu ya, let’s take the same car to the hotel, I need to talk to you alone

22:41

Mingoo: Why are you texting me, I’m right in front of you

22:41

Kwon Hoshi: None of your business, I do what I want

As soon as they were in the car alone, Hoshi started talking without breathing.

Hoshi: What the hell are you trying to do now, get back with her? Are you trying to play games with me again, selling me lies? What the fuck, Mingyu, what’s wrong with you? You said it’s over over and you know how I feel about her.

Mingyu: Hold on, tiger! You’re jumping to conclusion again. See if you’re not paying attention to the people around you? Things happen and things are said and they go over your head.

Hoshi: Just answer my questions

Mingyu: Everything I told you is true, it’s over between me and her and she and I made that very clear tonight. We shook hands and decided to leave the past behind and be friends like we used to be. And how could you think I would try to hurt you?

Hoshi: What was I supposed to think? You two were in love, she won’t give me a chance and you were gone like 20 minutes tonight, alone.

Mingyu: Awww, little tiger is jealous. Don’t be, you’re safe with me. But can’t say the same about other men, strangers. She’s a beautiful and smart woman, men will try to win her over. Didn’t you see the two guys who were trying to offer her drinks at the event?

Hoshi: No, what guys?

Mingyu: Don’t worry about them, they had no chance. Now tell me what’s your plan on breaking her walls down. Because I just know she’s very strongheaded and she is closed off now.

As Soonyoung got into bed, he was a little buzzed from the alcohol and from Mingyu hyping him up so he needed to hear from you. He just misses you. Even your little bickering.

00:13

Soonyoung: Y/N!!

00:14

Y/N: Soonyoung!

Soonyoung: What are you doing?

Y/N: Texting you

Soonyoung: Besides that

Y/N: Lying in bed, trying to sleep

Soonyoung: Who were those guys?

Y/N: What guys?

Soonyoung: The guys from the fashion event who were hitting on you

Y/N”: Oh, grandpa and grandfather. I have no idea, they just invited us on their yacht

Soonyoung: Do you want to go?

Y/N: On their yacht?

Soonyoung: Yeah. Did you like them?

Y/N: Ridiculous to think that, they were my dad’s age, maybe older.

Soonyoung: I wouldn’t know what your’re into, you’ve rejected me, so you might not be into guys your age

Y/N: I’ve had boyfriends my age and you know some of them

Soonyoung: Don’t remind meee, you are so mean

Y/N: Don’t tell me you’re jealous

Soonyoung: You got a problem with that? I can feel whatever I want

Y/N: You shouldn’t feel jealous, I’m not your girlfriend

Soonyoung: Because you don’t want to

Y/N: You never even asked me to be

Soonyoung: Then be my girlfriend

Y/N: NO

Soonyoung: See? Mean

Y/N: Shut up

Soonyoung: You shut up

Y/N: YOU shut up, hamster

Soonyoung: Take that back!!!!!!

Y/N: Nah

Soonyoung: Why are you so annoying?

Y/N: And you like me anyway

Soonyoung: You shouldn’t make fun of my feelings…

Y/N: I’m sorry, didn’t mean to do that

Y/N: Soonyoung?

Y/N: ☹

Soonyoung felt hurt by your words. You knew he is a sensitive and impulsive guy, but you were close enough to joke like that. He decided to stop replying, worried that he might say to much or maybe become mean himself.

As he was trying to get comfortable in his bed, he heard a faint knock on his door. Thinking that he probably was not hearing well, he closed his eyes again. Then he hears knocking for a second time.

Getting out of bed, he walks to the door and checks the little visor. There you were, in your pj’s, waiting for him to open.

Soonyoung: I don’t want to talk to you, go away

You look at him and you don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you push him, step into his room and close the door behind you.

He gets quiet and just looks at you with pink cheeks and pouty mouth. That ridiculously pretty pouty mouth you can’t take your eyes of. His brows frown and he swallows hard.

You take one step. Two steps. He doesn’t realise how he’s stepping back slowly. He thinks you look beautiful like this. Furious and angry at him, but still beautiful. His heart beats so fast and he thinks you can hear it.

His legs reach his bed and he stops. You stop also, right before him. Your bodies are so close that you can feel the heat coming from him.

Y/N: Why are you ghosting me now?

Soonyoung: I don’t talk to bullies. I could be a jerk to you too, you deserve it. And I still don’t do it

Y/N: So do it! Be a jerk to me!

Soonyoung: Why would you want that?

Y/N: Like you said, I deserve it.

With that, you turned around and left his room. You left him confused and annoyed. Why did you want him to be a jerk to you? At some point he even thought you were going to kiss him.

All the way walking back to your room, your heart was beating like crazy. You don’t know when you even left your room and how you found the courage to knock on his door.

As you reach your bed, you sink into it face down and growl into the sheet.

Hana: Now what’s wrong?

Y/N: I think I am going mad.

Hana: What you mean?

Y/N: I have no idea how I ended up in Hoshi’s room 5 minutes ago.

Hana: It’s ok, it’s normal in old age.

Y/N: Fuck off! (you say, throwing a pillow at her). Just make sure to sit next to me in the car tomorrow morning, please. I can’t be around him right now.

Next morning, the whole road back to Barcelona, you kept your headphones on, music blasting in your ears. You needed a good distraction, but even that ended up not being enough to take your mind of Soonyoung.

You felt almost stupid for this, for not being able to control yourself. Yeah, you told him no, you denied him, but you keep on going back to him, replying to his silly texts, being silly with him.

You could just block him, but you practically work for him. Maybe talk to him seriously and tell him to give you space. Maybe ask Jun to talk to him? Ugh, you feel a headache coming.

Why does love have to be this difficult? Why can’t you just shut feelings before they evolve into something more? Why can’t you choose who to fall in love with? You’d chose a tree and you’d live happy and in peace forever. No drama, no disappointment, no pain.

The next few weeks of tour were to say the least, hard. But it pushed you to be even better at your work. The whole staff you interacted with had only praises for you and your team.

You tried to avoid spending time outside work hours around Hoshi. He did text you a few times to check on you and you only replied with short answers, not asking him anything back. You hoped he will read the room and give you time.

You were in Milano right now, few days of preparations and events before the first concert. You get a call from Mingyu.

Mingyu: My dear friend, ex girlfriend, Y/N, I have some invitations for you and your friends for the afterparty for the Dior show tomorrow evening.

Y/N: Oh, now I find out I was your girlfriend? What an honour, mister sir.

Mingyu: Why of course, miss lady. So what do you say? Wanna get drunk tomorrow?

Y/N: Of course, why not.

Mingyu: But..

Y/N: What?

Mingyu: Jungkook will be there with Eunwoo.

Y/N: Oh, fucking hell!

Mingyu: Your team will be close to us, you’ll be right with the staff, don’t worry. And I am sure he won’t be dumb enough to try something so publicly.

Y/N: You’re probably right. You know what’s funny?

Mingyu: What?

Y/N: I’ll be in the same room with two of my exes. Weird, isn’t it?

Mingyu: Nah, you’ll be fine, trust me on this.

Y/N: You would know, you big slut.

Mingyu: Can’t deny that hehe. So I’ll leave you go to sleep, it’s late. Make sure you look extra sexy tomorrow.

Y/N: Yeah yeah, goodnight you silly skyscraper!

You called Hana to give her the news. You knew she was having dinner with some of the members and staff. But a man answered her phone.

Y/N: Who’s this? I need to talk to Hana.

Soonyoung: I have her phone, so you can’t talk to her.

Y/N: Are you drunk?

Soonyoung: Yeah, and?

Y/N: You’ll cry out about your face being puffy tomorrow at the Dior show.

Soonyoung: Shut up, you’re not my girlfriend or my mom!

Y/N: Don’t tell me to shut up and give the phone to Hana, drunk hamster!

Soonyoung: I’ll get you for this, mark my words. You’ll be sorry for calling me hamster.

Hana: Soonyoung, give me that! Wife?

Y/N: Ugh, finally! Why was your phone with him?

Hana: I have no idea, I guess it was just on the table and he thought it was a good idea. Did you call or he called you?

Y/N: I called, to let you know that we’re going to the Dior afterparty tomorrow evening, with the team.

Hana: Wow, can’t believe I will be surrounded with celebrities again. I think I love this job.

You hear Hoshi’s voice in the background.

Soonyoung: Hana, is she upset with me?

Hana: Yeah.

Soonyoung: Nooo, that’s so saaad!

Hana: Sorry, wife, but a crying Hoshi needs a hug. (and she hangs up the call)

You missed drunk needy Soonyoung. You wanted to be there to hug him and wipe his tears off his cheeks, then kiss his eyes and give him some cake.

Now, whenever you eat cake, you think about him and how he would also enjoy having a piece of it.

Many times when you met Jun and you knew Hoshi will be there too, you brough cake for him, made by you. He never believed you when you said you made it, he always thought you bought it from a store.

You just wanted to watch his face light up every time you’d take the cake out of the box. He looked adorable stuffing his mouth with it and trying to say how good it is.

Anyway, you needed your beauty sleep, because tomorrow you needed to look your best.

In the morning you woke up alone, no Hana in sight. Ugh, is my wife slutting around?

You check your phone and only see the group chats filled with unread messages. Everyone seems to have gotten drunk last night. You feel a little sad you were not there with them, but it is what it is.

There are also texts from Soonyoung and you immediately click on his chat to read them.

22:12

Soonyoung: Dout be upsjet p;ease

Soonyoung: heeejjjjjj

Soonyoung: heyy

00:56

Soonyoung: missyoiu

He misses you. You could ignore his drunk texts, but you know that what he’s saying while drunk it’s what he really feels. Then again, doesn’t mean he’s in love.

He’s always such an i-pad kid, always joking around, rarely taking anything seriously. Except when he’s working. Of course, you can’t say you really really know him, so you can’t just jump to conclusions about him.

That’s why you’re so confused and you can’t be radical about staying away from him. And even if you know someone really well, there’s nothing to vouch they’re going to be predictable.

You’ve gotten ready for work and 30 minutes later you’re in your usual meeting room, sitting at the table, working on your laptop. Hana and another girl from your team joins, bringing breakfast.

Hana: Mornin wife!

Y/N: Mornin to you too, cheater! Where did you sleep?

Hana: Hehe! Well, you see..I kind of ended up kissing Hyunwoo from the dance team and…we went to his room after.

Y/N: Uhhh! You big slut! How could you do that, here, at your workplace where these people are treating us so kind, and respect us……without telling me how the sex was? So disrespectful!

She leans closer, over the table, gesturing you and your other colleague.

Hana: It was really good. And I don’t think it was because of how tipsy we were. Plus, he’s packing.

Y/N: Ok, no need to rub it in. It’s been months for me, it hurts, so please.

Hana: Do we need to go shopping for some dildos and vibrators?

Y/N: I have enough sex toys, silly.

Hana: Or maybe you could ask your ex to help you, if you’re not going to do anything about your crush.

Y/N: My god, Hana! Never! Oh, I forgot the gossip. Jungkook will attend the Dior show too, and I guess the party also.

Hana: You know what that means. You need to look irresistible. And by the way, I’ll be spending some time in Hyunwoo’s room after we finish work today, and my advice since you’ll have some alone time? Use those toys, girl. Unwind.

4 hours later you find yourself walking the hotel’s hallways. With your laptop in one hand and your room card in the other, you’re excited about Hana’s advice. You decided that an orgasm would help you relax, especially since tonight you will see JK.

Reaching inside your room, you take a quick shower and get comfy on the bed. You got your special box with your toys next to you. You pick the vibrator that can stimulate your g spot and your clit at the same time.

You’re feeling so hot and bothered, especially after all the last weeks spent around Soonyoung. Your mind goes straight to the week you were in Spain and how he looked with just swim pants. How he would swim in the pool and all his back muscles would contract.

How he would grip the edge of the pool with his pretty hands, strong grip. And how he would use his arms to lift himself from the water. Oh, the water. The water that was dripping over his abs down to his swim trunks, down his jaw and neck. The water dripping slowly from his strands of hair.

You’d think about how you wanted to lick that hard body of his. You kept working on your vibrator that was giving you so much pleasure right now. You so wished it was Soonyoung making you feel like this.

So wanted to feel him inside you, thrusting slowly, dragging his length deep into your walls, making you cum over and over. Feeling his lips on your breasts, sucking on them.

A knock on the door got you out of your trance. Fuck!!! You kept going, you were so close. Sweat forming on your forehead. Go away!(you whispered)

Then another knock and a call for your name.

Y/N: I’m coming, I’m coming!!! Shit!

And it was not the way you wanted to come. You had to stop. You cursed under your breath. You grabbed a silk robe you had on the bed and went to open the door.

Oh, you were pissed. You open the door to find a flustered Soonyoung standing there, almost guilty and ready to leave.

You were sure your face was pink and sweaty and you were panting.

Y/N: What? You seemed eager to talk, with all that knocking, and now you’re silent?

Soonyoung: Are you with someone? I swear I heard moaning.

Y/N: I’m all alone, Soonyoung.

Soonyoung: Oh! Oh…we’re you…

Y/N: Yeah, I was. I’m a single woman, free to masturbate if that’s what I feel like doing. You got a problem with that?

Soonyoung: Noo, I will just let you get back to what you were doing, sorry for disturbing you.

His face was flushed red and he didn’t just walk away, he ran away. You never seen him run so fast.

You felt like joking around and ask if he wanted to help, but it was not appropriate in your situation. So you kept quiet and went back to business.

Back to your toy and your fantasy about Soonyoung doing filthy things to you. It helps that you just saw him minutes ago. You could still feel his perfume lingering in the air and it drove you crazy.

You ended up cumming while moaning his name. In a way, you wish he heard you right now.

I think a nap is what I need right now before getting ready for the party.

You send a quick text to Hana and one to Jun and you go to sleep for 2 hours.

You wake up at 3 PM, getting into the shower. Meanwhile, Hana arrives to and you both help each other with your hair and outfits.

Y/N: Soonyoung caught me masturbating.

Hana: Whaaaaat??

Y/N: I was about to finish and he knocked on the door. He said he heard me and he figured out, so…

Hana: Geez, that’s..pretty hot, I have to say.

Y/N: How is that hot?

Hana: You like each other and now he’ll think about this all week. Shit, he’ll be looking at you tonight at the party and only see one thing, you touching yourself. That’s hilarious.

Y/N: It kind of is, not gonna lie.

7 PM and you were in one of the company’s car with Hana, 2 of your colleagues and one of the managers.

You were checking the reels from today’s Dior fashion show to see how handsome the boys were. The fans are so quick to edit the craziest and thirstiest reels.

You were wearing a black dress that hugged your body perfectly and dropped sensually over your breasts. You thought that you should wear your hair up in a simple ponytail, to reveal more of your shoulders and back.

Feeling very confident, you walked toward the building, presenting your names at the entrance. The inside of the building was spectacular. Old and new architecture combined, scenes displayed on the walls with thousands of lights, slow electronic music and expensive clothes.

Everything smelled and looked expensive. You start with a glass of champagne, giggling with Hana and noticing familiar faces. This time there were no outside paparazzi or fans around, so you could tell everyone was relaxed.

Hana: There’s Eunwoo. Let’s say hi.

Y/N: Hana, let’s let him come to us, he would know better what to do. Maybe it’s better for him not be seen in company of women.

Hana: You’re right. I just feel weird about it because we’ve been friends for years and he’s like my brother.

Y/N: Jungkook might also be around him, so let’s just not gather to much attention on us.

Hana: Looking like this, you think you won’t catch attention? Giiirl!

Minutes later, you’re enjoying some appetizers and you’re at the second glass, this time a cocktail. As you’re sipping your drink and look forward into the crowd, you notice someone’s eyes on you, the person not flinching, not blinking.

You choked on your drink a little and Hana asked what happened. You told her you just saw Jungkook killing you with his eyes.

She immediately turned and there he was, talking with Eunwoo and some other people.

Hana: Shit, the bastard looks even hotter after his military. Fuck that guy!

Y/N: Ewww, no thanks.

You try not to look in his direction after that, your eyes looking for Soonyoung. You missed him. And you also wanted to see his face when he sees you like this.

Hana: Let’s go mingle and look around. Let’s look at pretty men.

Y/N: Ooookkk.

Hana: Come on, let’s pretend we’re two rich bitches.

The building was huge and the event was taking place outside to. There, they had a different dj with a different music. Here, there was something more like jazz and they had tables with chairs where guests were sitting and enjoying a nice conversation and a cigar.

You saw many celebrities, models, actors, musicians, athletes. It was a little too much for you, but fun nonetheless.

You could get a glimpse of some of the members, but they didn’t see you. They were pretty busy talking to people you didn’t know and taking photos. So you continued your little adventure and walked back inside.

As you turned to walk away, Mingyu saw you and he told Jun. They decided to go look for you.

Reaching a big room, you could tell here it was where the dance was happening. And you wanted to move a bit, so you took Hana’s hand and took her in the crowd of dancing people.

Y/N: It’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun.

Hana: Me fucking too.

Soonyoung was taking pictures with Taemin right in the dancing room where you were, but you could not see him from the people gathered around them.

At some point, a little tunnel formed between Soonyoung and where you were dancing. He could see with his peripheral vision someone in a black dress dancing and it didn’t mean anything, but then when he moved his eyes he saw your face.

Coloured lights were playing on your body, hips making circling moves in the rhythm of the music. Damn, she’s not wearing a bra. Again. It all turned in slow motion again. This always happens to him when he’s mesmerised, and it doesn’t happen often.

He’s never seen you dance before. You’re out of this world, you’re glorious, breathtaking. He needs you.

He was stunned. I’ll marry her.

Taemin: What?

Taemin: Hosh! Planet Earth to Hoshi!

Taemin needed to pinch Soonyoung’s arm to get his attention.

Soonyoung: Ouch! You know I’m sensitive, hyung.

Taemin: Well I needed to make sure you were alive and well. You looked like you saw a ghost.

Soonyoung: No, I just saw my future wife.

Taemin: I thought you liked someone. Didn’t think you were a player.

Soonyoung: Nooo, it’s her. She’s here.

Taemin: My god, I want to meet this woman that has my friend around her pinky.

Soonyoung: Might introduce you later

After dancing you felt thirsty so you went to get drinks.

You were back to the room where you started. As you waited at the bar, you hear someone calling for Hana’s name. You look around and see Eunwoo and Yugyeom.

Hana: Guyyyss!

They hugged both of you. It was the first time you saw them acting normal in public, not having flashes in their faces. Then there he was, Jungkook came behind them and greeted with a shy “hi”.

You and Hana just nodded. You think she hates him more than you. He has a stupid grin on his face and you can feel his eyes scanning your body. Something he will never get to touch again.

Eunwoo: What are you two doing here?

Hana: Well, we are working for Hybe this year, helping with Seventeen’s world tour. And sometimes we’re getting a little spoiled.

Eunwoo: Does that mean Mingyu is here?

Hana: Yeah, somewhere.

Yugyeom: How come we didn’t know?

You shrug and lift your shoulders. Are they not that close anymore?

Jungkook: So the whole gang is here except Jaehyun who’s on tour also.

Eunwoo: We should get some dinner and drink after this, like old times.

Y/N: I don’t know, Woo, not sure it will be like it used to.

Eunwoo: Jungkook, this is your fault. Y/N, you can ignore him. Plus, if he upsets you he’s going to have to deal with me.

You feel an arm coming gently around your waist and pulling you into him.

Mingyu: Who’s going to upset my bestie?

You look up at him with big eyes, wondering why he’s acting like this.

Eunwoo: Gyu! Come on, give me a hug. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. You’re a big shot now.

He takes his arm away and hugs his friends, including Jungkook.

Then comes Jun from behind and puts his arms on both your and Hana’s shoulders, standing between you two.

Jun: Hey guys, what a surprise seeing you here. And you found our girls.

Jungkook scoffs and rolls his eyes.

Eunwoo: I was just telling our girls that we should go out to eat and drink after this, like old times. Are you in, Gyu? And Jun, you’re invited too.

Mingyu: I would go, but we already have a thing planned with the members and some of the managers and staff. But you’re invited to come with us.

He looks at you for a bit, almost like asking with his eyes if it’s ok and you nod.

The three guys accept the invite and you already try to think of excuses of how to skip this late dinner.

Mingyu: Let’s take some photos for the gram, shall we?

Then he leans into your ear to tell you something.

Mingyu: Look over my right shoulder. You see Soonyoung there in the crowd?

You look as he says and you see him.

Mingyu: Take Hana and go to him. I know you want to escape JK right now.

Y/N: Thanks, Gyu.

You take Hana’s hand and excuse yourself, walking straight to Soonyoung. You felt like you could not breath unless you head him or touch him.

He immediately saw you coming toward him and he felt his heart race. His friends were talking to him but he couldn’t hear or see them anymore. There was just you. He could only see you.

Hana: Yaaa, Hoshi! Where were you?

She went for a hug. She was clearly tipsy. His eyes were on you all this time and she was trying to talk to him.

Hana: Oh, yeah. Right.

He could see you were not feeling your best, you had puppy eyes and pouty lips.

He takes your hand to rub gentle circles on the back of your palm.

Soonyoung: What’s wrong?

Y/N: Nothing, just saw someone I’d prefer not to.

Soonyoung: Oh. What can I do?

You pouted some more and looked down at your connected hands.

Y/N: Um. Hold my hand for a bit and I’ll be better?

Hearing this, his eyes turned into half moons and he smiled widely.

Soonyoung: Come on, I’ll introduce you to some superstars.

Y/N: Oh my

Soonyoung: Guys, this is my very good friend Y/N and this is Hana

Taemin: We finally meet you, Y/N friend of Hoshi. I’m Taemin

Key: Hello, I’m Key

Y/N: Nice to meet you, I feel honoured

Hana: Hello! So I don’t get the title friend, eh, Hosh?

Soonyoung: You are my friend also.

Leaning into you, he asks if you’re better and you nod, smiling at him. His hand still holding yours tight.

The room cleared a little, since some of the guests went outside to watch the fireworks. Behind you, the ’97 group and Jun were still talking. Jungkook had a clear view at you now and what he saw shocked him.

Why the fuck is she holding hands with Hoshi? He became enraged and drank his whisky glass as a shot. He needed another. Now he really needed to know what the hell was going on. He knew you and Mingyu were not together anymore. But he was not expecting you having another relationship.

He was enraged because he tried so hard to break you and Mingyu, and after the success, now he needs to do more work. He can’t stand and watch you with another man that’s not him. Not again.

Soonyoung: Want to watch the fireworks?

Y/N: I love fireworks

He doesn’t let go to your hand, leading you outside and calling his friends and Hana to join.

Y/N: Is this ok? Someone might see and take pictures.

Soonyoung: It’s fine, trust me.

Even though earlier you were feeling sick to your stomach because of Jungkook’s presence, this moment was making you feel happy and complete. You had Soonyoung next to you, his hand burning hot in yours.

He looks at you and he sees tears in your eyes.

Soonyoung: What’s wrong?

Y/N: I’m just being emotional. I guess a lot happened lately.

Soonyoung: I get that. I’m here (and he squeezes your hand tighter). It will feel better after dinner. Just a little longer, ok? You’re riding with me in my car to the restaurant.

One hour later you’re in the car with Soonyoung, Jeonghan and Seungkwan.

Seungkwan: Why are you holding hands? What’s wrong with you two?

Soonyoung: My friends needs emotional support so I’m giving it to her.

Seungkwan: Ugh, you two make me sick.

Jeonghan: Why is Mingyu saying in the group chat that the ’97 gang will join for dinner?

Soonyoung turns his face to you in shock.

Y/N: Oh, yeah. It was a weird situation and Mingyu had to invite them.

Jeonghan: But won’t Jungkook will be there?

Y/N: Yeah…(you move your eyes into your lap where you are fiddling with the rings on your fingers)

Soonyoung: Don’t worry, you’ll sit next to me and far from him and we won’t leave you alone. Right, guys?

Both Jeonghan and Seungkwan nod and it’s like a promise.

Jeonghan: I can’t promise I will be able to hold on too much, I am already fucking tired. I could sleep right here right now. But I’ll do my best.

Y/N: Thanks, guys. You’re the best!

The restaurant was empty, no other customers. It was very late too. But it filled with all of you once you all sat at the tables. Everyone ordered drinks and food and the drinking started.

You say between Hoshi and Seungkwan that were taking their mission very seriously. They took care of you all night, asking you what you needed, fixing your food, feeding you. That was a bit much, but funny still.

Seungcheol: What’s going on there? You two look like a couple, feeding their baby.

Seungkwan: We’re just spoiling our girl. She’s been working so hard.

Hana: Hey, what about me? I’ve been working hard too. Who’s feeding me?

And 4 guys offered her food to shove into her mouth. Joshua took a green salad leaf and really managed to put it into her mouth aggressively. Mingyu took a piece of steak and shoved it there too. Dokyeom wanted to go crazy and pushed a spoon with soup close to her, but it ended up on her plate. Then there was Jeonghan that took a piece of cake.

Of course he pushed it in her mouth along with the salad and steak.

Hana was stunned, trying to talk and complain, and at the same time she burst out laughing. So all the food went out her mouth. Luckily, she put a tissue in front of it before she made a mess.

Everyone laughed and you took advantage of the moment to go to the restroom.

Y/N: I’ll be right back.

Soonyoung: I’ll go with you.

Y/N: Soonie, noo. You wanna hold my hand while I pee?

Soonyoung: If you wanted me to, yeah.

You slap his chest gently and get up.

Soonyoung: Ouch, not my tiddies! (he brings his hand to his slapped tiddy to massage the pain away)

Nobody noticed that after 3 minutes, Jungkook got up from his chair and walked to the restroom too.

He was waiting for you to come out, outside the bathroom doors.

Y/N: No, just no. don’t wanna talk to you.

Jungkook: Please! I’ll behave, I promise. I’m not a monster.

Y/N: Could have fooled me after all the shit you did.

Jungkook: I’m so sorry about everything. I wish to explain myself. I know I have no excuse and I don’t deserve forgiveness. I just want to explain why I did what I did.

Y/N: Go ahead, explain.

Jungkook: I was very stupid. Young and dumb you could say. I didn’t tell you about the army because the company found out about our relationship and they were very strict about it and told me to end it. And the reason they wanted me to end it was because some stalker of mine had photos and videos with us, even from my apartment and your apartment. And she threatened that she will expose me. You have to understand that my career would have been over.

Y/N: You could of told me.

Jungkook: No, because I needed a reason for the breakup. And the company came up with the idea that I could go to the military, just like that, without a word. And it worked, didn’t it?

Y/N: And after you were a complete asshole.

Jungkook: I was mad angry when I found out about you and Mingyu. I still loved you.

Y/N: You could still text me after you went to the military and explain.

Jungkook: I just didn’t feel it was the right thing to do. I needed to get away from you completely. I also tried to forget you but I couldn’t.

Y/N: And then you started to get your tail between me and Gyu.

Jungkook: I’m sorry about that too.

Y/N: Were you the one who attacked me in front of my building that night?

Jungkook: I would never do that. Could never hurt you physically.

Y/N: And you think emotional pain is ok? You think it was easy for me when you left me? You pushed me and Gyu together. He was there for me when you weren’t. you chose to leave and he stayed. He’s still there for me after everything.

Jungkook: I need to confess something. I need to get this off my chest.

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Mingyu never cheated on you. I planed that night. I spiked his drink, and the girl n the photos was a friend. I’m really sorry.

Y/N: What? What? Are you telling me that all those miserable weeks and months, all those nights when I could not sleep, those days that I could not eat and was close to collapsing at work because of it… all of that for nothing? Just because you were jealous?

Jungkook: I have no excuse.

Y/N: No, you fucking don’t. You took away my happiness twice. And you took away Mingyu’s happiness too. We were so good together. I even thought he was the one. I fucking hate you, Jungkook!

Tears run down your cheeks, reminiscing all that pain you felt when you thought Mingyu broke your trust. And all this time since then, that you spent punishing yourself because you thought all men are the same and all will cheat. You punished yourself to be alone.

Y/N: I can’t believe how sinister you can be.

Jungkook: I’m sorry, I am really trying to be better.

You look at him and you can see he’s tearing up too. His eyes look honest and you never seen him in this state, almost broken.

Jungkook: You have to believe me. I am really trying. It’s hard. I’m even seeing a therapist to help me. Please, believe me. I am trying to keep the bad thoughts away. Even tonight when I saw you holding Hoshi’s hand I went mad. I don’t know, I thought I was over you. I guess I’m just a sick person.

He gets on his knees, his face filled with tears that roll down his chin, dropping onto his shirt.

Jungkook: Please, forgive me! Please Y/N!!

You take his hands into yours. He’s trembling like crazy and you need to calm him down. You can’t stand him, but you can’t leave him like this.

So you pull him up and into your arms, hugging him tight.

Y/N: It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.

Jungkook: It’s not ok, I did horrible things.

Y/N: Let’s relax for now, ok? We will talk another time when we’re both feeling better. But now we are here and the food will be ready. Also, we don’t want anyone knowing we bawled out eyes out, do we?

Jungkook: No, we don’t

Y/N: Come on, let’s go into the restroom and make ourselves looks presentable.

Jungkook: I feel like you should kick me in the balls or something, because you’re too nice to me.

Y/N: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?

Jungkook: N..no?

Y/N: Then don’t put nice thoughts like that in my head.

Hoshi noticed you were gone for quite some time and Jungkook was not in his seat. He got up, going to look for you. Going into the restroom, he found you and Jungkook fixing your makeup in the mirror.

Soonyoung: What the hell is going on here?

Y/N: Soonieeee! Come here and help me!

He looks at you and he can see you’re eyes are red and a little swollen.

Soonyoung: Y/N, did you cry?

Y/N: This one cried harder.

Jungkook: I’m going back to the table. Thanks, Y/N.(he stops in his track and gives a nod, then leaves)

Soonyoung: What the fuck! What was that about?

Y/N: We talked

Soonyoung: About?

Y/N: About how he was a butthole.

Soonyoung: Are you ok though?

Y/N: I am now.

Then you pinch his cheeks and place a soft single kiss on his lips.

Y/N: Let’s go, tiger. I’m starving and I need a drink.

Soonyoung: You’re not actually going to pretend you didn’t just kiss me?

But you did just that. You got back into the room bickering like always.

Seungkwan: That’s more like it. I was starting to miss this bickering. Y/N, when are you going to kick him in the balls next? That was really fun to watch

Y/N: Kwaaan! Why would I kick Soonie like that?

Seungkwan: Soonie? I think I’m going to puke.(he makes a dramatic scene where he pretends like he’s puking and fainting)

Food came and Hoshi continued to feed you. It made him feel good.

Y/N: I can do it myself, you know.

Soonyoung: Shut up and eat, I’m an expert with food and eating.

As he feeds you, your hand goes to sit on his thigh. You didn’t even notice, but he did. Oh, did he. You were even squeezing it whenever he was giving you too much food that you could not fit into your mouth.

Y/N: Soonie, slow down. Can’t eat this fast.

Soonyoung: Sorry, but your hand it kind of distracts me from thinking straight.

You look down at your hands. One is on your thigh and the other on his. You pull it away immediately, apologising.

He feels like he can finally let out a breath that he was holding for decades. He thanks himself for wearing oversized clothes tonight. You just have this effect on him and he’s just a weak man.

You’re both blushing. You’re acting like you haven’t been teasing and bullying each other since you met. But that was your thing. When it was banter, you two were at each other’s throat, daring and shit. But when it was serious, you were both a shy mess.

Jeonghan and Minghao were the first ones to leave. Hana asked them to take her with them. He told you she needed to go meet Hyunwoo the dancer.

02:19

Hana: Wife, I’m going to leave with Jeonghan. Hynwoo is waiting for me. Can you sleep in Jun’s room tonight? Hyunwoo’s roommate is sleeping already in their shared room.

02:20

Y/N: Ok, have fun and use protection my silly slut.

You scoff and sight and Soonyoung asks what happened.

Y/N: I need to ask Jun to sleep in his room tonight. Hana is having some action in our room.

Soonyoung: Sleep in my room!

Y/N: Oh! Really?

Soonyoung: Yeah. My bed is huge and I’m a good boy.

You look at him and you can tell he’s pretty drunk. There are two scenarios that go trough your head. One-he’s going to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and he won’t bother you. Two-he’s going to be clingy and needy and he’s going to cuddle the shit out of you.

You don’t plan on doing anything else, though your whole body wants to. But no. Even if you’d decide that you want to accept him romantically, this would not be the right way to start.

You’d want to try a different path and make sure this one would last. He is indeed very different from all the guys you met in your life. Maybe that’s one of the reasons you’re so drawn to him.

So you accept his offer. You have nothing to lose. Maybe just your sanity for being this close to the guy you’re in love with. Maybe you’re sleep, knowing he’s right there, arm reach, and you’re all sweaty and wet and needy.

But no. You will behave and you know he will too.

Y/N: Ok, then I’ll sleep in your room.

And his face lights up at that and he pats your head, calling you a good girl.

I mean, he could keep these remarks to himself. It’s enough that I’m having such a hard time already. My sex life it’s inexistent and he’s so…

Soonyoung: Why are you looking at me funny?

Y/N: Oh, am I? Sorry, no reason. You’re just cute when you’re drunk.

You continue eating and hiding the alcohol from Hoshi. He already had 2 glasses of whatever, you don’t even know what was in there. You catch his glass that he just filled earlier and you take it to your mouth to taste it.

You decide he won’t drink that, Afterall, you are the one who’s going to be dealing with him later. You don’t want to break you back from dragging him all the way to the bed.

He pouts a little whenever you take his glass, and doesn’t even realises when you switch it with water. You’re not much sober than he is, but you’re more responsible.

Now it’s your turn to feed him and you don’t mind. Seungkwan shoots you dramatic looks. He likes to act like cute things make him sick but everyone knows better.

You hear Mingyu, Eunwoo and Jungkook argue about who’s the most popular idol among them. You’re glad to see they are still close. Noticing Jun on the other side of the table you want to go sit next to him and spend some quality time with your bestie.

When you get up, you tell Seungkwan and Joshua to keep their eyes on Hoshi and not let him drink alcohol anymore. A grip on your wrist keeps you from walking away.

Soonyoung: Where are you going? Why are you leaving me alone?

Y/N: You’re not alone though, and I’m going to sit next to Jun for a while.

He sights and puts some food into his mouth, nodding. As you sit next to your bestie, you have Soonyoung right in front of you and you can’t not notice how often he looks at you.

He’s being quite flirty, you think? Sending flying kisses, then he catches them himself. But there is someone else watching you. Jungkook. You caught him a few times while you were having a conversation with Jun.

He looks lost, you might say. It’s impossible he still has feelings for you, right? It’s been such a long time and he’s sure met plenty of interesting girls.

You even heard a rumour about him having a girlfriend not long back. And also, you didn’t think of yourself like such a great catch. Why would someone like him would not be able to get over a nobody like you?

It’s not that you are not confident, but you like to keep it real. There are others far more beautiful, talented, richer and more suitable for him. Maybe you’ll have a nice grown up conversation with him sometime and unravel this mystery.

You’ll need to talk to Mingyu also and apologise for what happened and all the hurtful words you said to him in the past.

But until then, you needed to get Soonyoung out of there and into bed, because the poor guy ‘s face was red and puffy and he could barely keep his eyes open.

So you ask Jun if he will go to the hotel with you in the same car. Hearing that you want to leave, Minghao says he wants to join you too. Good, more help with carrying Hoshi.

You announce that you’re going to leave. Jun helps Hoshi to steady himself. He can walk straight, but he could bump into something because of his blurred vision right now.

Mingyu comes outside with you, asking if everything’s ok and you tell him you’re fine and that you need to talk to him soon when he gets some free time. He nods, gives you a warm hug and goes back inside.

Mingyu: Someone needs to drink Dino under the table.

In the car, Hoshi puts his head in Minghao’s lap, falling asleep. 20 minutes later you find yourself knocking at your room, waiting for Hana to bring your sleepover backpack. That’s your drill whenever one of you needs the room for herself.

Then off you go to Hoshi’s room. You find him collapsed onto the bed, clothes on, shoes on.

You start to take his shoes off and he starts to kick his feet ap and down.

Soonyoung: Hihihih it tickles.

Y/N: I know, but we need to get you into bed, ok?

Soonyoung: Ok, mom

Y/N: I’ll also take your shirt and pants off and put your pj’s on.

He just keeps on giggling and kicking his feet. He’s so cute. You’re glad his’s this type of drunk.

You look for his sleeping clothes and you find a tshirt and some shorts. These will do.

Then the hard part begins. You get him to sit on the edge of the bed and pull on his shirt over his head. Then you pull the tshirt on.

When it’s time for the pants he gets shy.

Soonyoung: I’ll do it, you can’t see me naked.

Y/N: But you have underwear on. Right?

Soonyoung: So what. You’re not taking my pants off

Y/N: I thought you wanted me to do that

Soonyoung: Y/N, this is not the time to be thirsty

Y/N: If I was acting thirsty I would be in your lap right now. Do you see me there?

He looks at his lap, brings his hands in front and looks at them. Then all of the sudden you’re in his lap.

Y/N: What are you doing?

Soonyoung: Now you’re thirsty.

Y/N: Am not!

You try to get up but he keeps you there with a strong grip around your waist, holding you tight.

Soonyoung: Don’t go!

Y/N: I’m not going, I’m just trying to change you into sleep clothes then we can go to bed

Soonyoung: Can you cuddle me?

Y/N: I don’t know if we should, Soonie

Soonyoung: I should have known to ask Jun to sleep here tonight. He would cuddle me

He buries his face into your chest. More exactly between your breasts and you wonder if he’s realizing what he’s doing.

Y/N: Hoshingi, my tits are in your face. Stop being so thirsty

Soonyoung: So warm, could sleep like this.

Then you push him on his back and get off him. You grab his belt to take his pants off.

Soonyoung: Whoah, take it slow, I’m sensitive.

When his pants are on the floor you pull his short on, and he huffs disappointed.

Soonyoung: I thought you wanted to take advantage of me.

Y/N: Shut up and sleep. Tomorrow you’re having rehearsals for 10 straight hours.

You go into the bathroom to get ready for bed and when you return, he’s already sleeping. You exhale loudly and find a spot on the other side of the bed.

Not even 5 minutes passed that you feel movement and an arm coming over your waist, pulling you into his warm body. His leg going right over yours. You’re caged in.

This feels nice, but how are you going to be able to sleep now? You feel his breath on the back of your neck. Makes you feel butterflies. You smile and you feel like crying.

You remember all those times you felt alone at night, wanting someone to just hold you. It feels nice even to just hear his gentle snores. Sometimes his fingers would twitch in his sleep and you so wanted to hold his hand right now.

So you put your hand over his and the twitching stopped. It was like you calmed him down. At some point, you don’t really know when, you also fall asleep.

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bywons · 7 days ago

Text

🌷 2025 SEASON GREETINGS

dear srunation,

happy new year ! as we know, the 2024 season just got to an end, and i hope the last year has been truly kind to you, and you could explore all your joys and true self ! as even if you didn't, you're not alone ( me too ), a new year has just begun, with 365 days of new opportunities, chances and new ways to love yourself and your life.

last year has taught me a lot of things— whether in my studies, in my relationships or whether about myself where i needed to reflect upon. it hasn't been a great year to me, but im determined to 2025 a great one !

to all my dearest followers, thank you so so much for being with me and supporting bywons. i have been so irregular this year, but tysm for forgiving me for it and showering nothing but immense love and support on my works. i am always glad to share my works with you guys, even more when i read all your feedbacks knowing you love it and it made you smile, nothing more could make me happier.

to @atrirose, my best friend my beautiful lovely gf, you're the best person i met this year ! it would've been impossible to reach where i am right now without you and your love by my side. im so so so thankful for us getting closer and that we can share everything and be straightforward with each other. mwah mwah, you're my safe space the best ily ^^ to @junislqve, my babie my psychoz darling, i don't say it often but i love you much juni babie :( we got so close to each other just by texting. i love talking to you so so much, everytime your name pops up in my screen it really makes my day ! you're such a kind, funny and awesome person, i hope junru stays forever :3

to carrots ( @junislqve @hhmnya @hyeinette @jlheon @lcvclywon ) my fav girlies my babies my GOATS !!! guys holy shat i literally miss you guys all the time i cherish you all to infinity my prettiest girls omg :( carrots is fr my home, somewhere where i can be free and be myself, somewhere im the happiest without any care. i really dont rmb how carrots formed, but im so so grateful it did. juni, we talk the most and i love love love you so much. anna, my fellow 07z, we really do have to catch up soon i miss our disc convos !!!! my silly queen goose you're so funny so sweet and special to me. vivi, my another silly goose i miss you !!!! come back to me asap, i miss being silly and fun with you, nothing is ever boring with vivibear, you're truly the sunshine of carrots i will smooch you omg. peng, we don't talk much nowadays but im always grateful to you for being so sweet and kind to me, mwah ily !!!! yuya, omg we haven't talked to each other in ages, but gosh i always think about you how you're doing and stuff, i hope you're alright my queen !

to @flwrstqr & @tzyunaes my cutest girls omg, im so flipping happy we got closer. ygs are so so fun and sweet istg everytime i talk to you ygs i squeal out of happiness. i adore 2jenn the most omg labhliest girl i lobh you guys so muchhhh !!!!

to all my moots, i will always cherish you deep inside my heart, your presence makes a big difference to this world and rmb your smile is the prettiest ! i love you guys so so much, you cutie bears!

to end it, i want you guys to promise to be kind to yourself and the people around you, always ! never put yourself down and have faith in whatever you do ! its a hard thing to do, but consider yourself the luckiest to be alive in the moment right now, to be able to breathe and to eat food which you like and buy clothes that you want, that can be the highest privilege to some, so enjoy and cherish whatever you have, the universe will always be kinder to you.

happy new year 💝

some moots i love & would like to get closer to this year ! @soov @okwonyo @pshbites @isoobie @boyfhee @yeokii @cupidhoons @aewon & more .. TT

#‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𖹭 𝗐𝒾𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌 ˚ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎#ib : litch everybody 💗

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drpeppertummy · 10 days ago

Text

following a lengthy academic discussion about the potential of delivery scenarios

[hunger, light stuffing]

"Thank you, have a good one."

"You too." Max's belly rumbled audibly, and the delivery girl flashed him an amused smile. "Enjoy."

He bumped the door shut with his hip and brought the bags to the kitchen table, then went to retrieve the plates while Marsha started rummaging through the boxes. He was absolutely starving. The delivery had taken almost an hour, and all Max could think about was that trusty gluten free grilled chicken salad from the trio's favorite local restaurant. He'd been thinking about it all day, as a matter of fact. Salads weren't normally his go-to, but this place made a good one, and their chicken was to die for. They were more well-known for their fried chicken, but the famously crispy breading was out of his diet. The grilled was just as good, though, as far as he was concerned. His mouth watered just at the thought of it. He pulled three plates from the cabinet and turned to see Marsha looking concerned over the food, brow furrowed.

"What'd you get again, Stringbean?"

"Salad."

"Well, I'm not seeing any salad," she said reluctantly. "Just a whole lot of pasta." Max's heart sank.

"I'll call 'em back," said Alfie, leaving the kitchen.

"Thanks, Alf," he sighed quietly.

"I'm sorry, Stringbean," said Marsha, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure they'll send somebody out with the right order."

"I just hope they send 'em sometime today," he said with a halfhearted chuckle. "I guess it's a good thing Junie's staying over at Ross' place tonight." Junie had inherited the gift of celiac disease from her father, and had she been home tonight, she just might have been out of a meal as well, but Max could at least take some comfort in knowing his daughter would be well taken care of at her friend's house.

"They said they'll send the salad over right away," said Alfie, leaning in the doorway. "We'll wait for you. Hopefully it won't take too long, right? I mean, it's lettuce."

"No, don't wait," Max insisted, waving his hand. "Eat while it's hot. You know it's never gonna be as good."

"What, leave you standing around all pitiful like a starved puppy while we eat?" Marsha gave him a playful squeeze. "We could never do that to our poor old Stringbean. Well, maybe Alfie could. I wouldn't." Alfie shot her a look of mock annoyance.

"Seriously, don't wait for me. Who knows how long it'll take. I'll be fine. Promise. I won't even stare at you." Max leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek and retreated to the living room, doing the same to Alfie as he passed by him. He dropped back onto the couch with a sigh. His stomach growled impatiently, tensing up as a deep, longing pang twisted through it. Suddenly, he felt a weight beside him and a hand on his belly, and he turned to see Marsha at his side once again.

"Alfie's putting the pasta in the oven to keep it warm," she said, holding a finger to his mouth to shut him up before he could even begin to protest. "We're not eating without you. We'll be fine, believe me. Alfie's been snackin' all afternoon."

"Yeah? How about you?"

"I had a late lunch," she assured him. "I mean, I could certainly eat, but another half hour isn't gonna kill me."

"Might kill me," he chuckled, and she gave his tummy a gentle rub. His stomach felt hollow under her hand, and she could feel the vibration as another aching growl buzzed through it.

"Poor baby." She laid her head on his shoulder, and he draped his arm over hers. Alfie soon joined them and flopped unceremoniously onto the couch beside Max, giving his partners a good jolt as he landed.

"Now we wait," he declared, laying down and resting his head on Max's lap. Marsha ruffled his hair.

"You could be eating right now," said Max.

"Don't remind me. No man left behind," said Alfie, reaching up to give him a pat on the cheek. Max rolled his eyes.

"Well, I appreciate it. We can all sit here and suffer together like a family." Max wrapped his arms around his partners and gave them a fond squeeze.

It didn't take nearly as long for Max's salad to arrive as the original order had, but it still felt like ages to his empty stomach. Unlike Marsha, he'd had a pretty early lunch, and unlike Alfie, he hadn't had any snacks to tide him over. He'd already been starving when the first delivery girl came, and by the time the second arrived, he felt about ready to keel over, his aching tummy twisting up angrily as it begged for something to eat. Finally, though, about half an hour later, they were sitting together at the table, beyond eager to dig in. Max's belly rumbled impatiently at the smell of the chicken as he opened up his salad. It was up there with his newborn children on the list of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen, the golden-seared chicken still steaming upon the bed of fresh, crisp lettuce, decorated with cucumbers and tomatoes and olives, tortilla strips in place of croutons, crumbles of feta, juicy pepperoncini, a variety of delicious little additives that made for a filling, flavorful meal.

"Worth the wait?" Alfie asked through a mouthful of ziti. Max nodded, a look of blissful relief on his face as he savored the first few bites. His stomach grumbled eagerly as it took in its long-awaited dinner, the ache finally easing up with each bite.

Ordinarily, Max would likely have only eaten about half of the salad, saving the rest for the next day. Tonight, he finished the whole thing. It wasn't a massive salad, easily a single serving for most people, but it was certainly big for him, and by the time he finished his belly felt comfortably stuffed, just teetering on the edge of too full, pushing out snugly against the waist of his pants. He leaned back in his seat with a hand on his tummy, feeling thoroughly satisfied.

"Hey, since when do you clean your whole plate?" Marsha teased, reaching out to give his full belly a friendly pat.

"I'm compensating." He stifled a soft burp and remained still in his seat, feeling sleepy and content and wanting to give his stomach time to settle before straightening up the kitchen. Right now was the best he'd felt all day, and he didn't want to screw it up by upsetting his belly right away.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it," she said with a smile, giving his tummy a gentle rub.

#writing #belly kink #tummy kink #hunger kink #stuffing #stuffed belly #xmaxx #xmarshax #xalfiex

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angeart · 9 months ago

Note

I am trying to be a patient anon and not send too much before you finish your Mimic/Juni rambles before asking for more rambles (I love him, he did A Big Bad but I love him)

but you called attention to it so what happened to Scar's ear?? D:

(honestly wasn't sure if I should ask you or Link cuz its Link's art but I saw your post first this morning so.... :x)

-🎀

HELLO there is no need to hold back and be patient <33 I love seeing you in my asks and always get excited! Also also also! So happy to hear you love our Juni even though he did Big Bad. I promise the main Mimic Arc Rambles Part II will have a snapshot of what happens to him after all this.

Anyway! For now, to answer your question about the feather earring!

Some time after reuniting (after the whole Juni thing), Scar and Grian find a cave with a hot-spring, where they take shelter for a little while. Things happen, and somewhere along the lines, Scar asks Grian to mark him in some way. (Scar already marked Grian—)

He says: Show the world I’m yours.

And so Grian does the avian thing. He touches his wings, willingly and deliberately, without the intent to harm them—something that hasn’t happened in so long—and he picks a nice-looking feather. And he gifts it to Scar. To say that yes, they’re connected. That they belong to each other. (And oh, how much it means for Scar to have access to this part of Grian; to be given something so monumental, something others are willing to kill for, yet they’re not allowed to have it.)

At first, Scar tucks it behind his ear, because he has no other way to keep it on him and have it safe and on display (something they can afford for now, in the privacy of their little cave). He checks with Grian, to make sure if that’s okay, and… Honestly, it’s complicated.

Tucking a small snippet of our mini-rp about this below the cut <3 (but if you’re interested only in what happens to Scar’s ear after, feel free to skip that!)

RP snippet:

Scar

"Is this okay?" he asks, a tad timid with a big, bashful smile. "I mean like, am I supposed to wear it?"

It's a loaded question, he knows. Not only is it a public display of their relationship, but it's a public display of a bright violet feather, and Scar knows how troubling that can be for Grian to show off, so he can only imagine the complicated nature of having his own portion of that for show. (He thinks of the hunters and their bejeweled weapons, feathers tied to them in boast. It makes his fingers twitch slightly, aching for his claws.)

(Mournfully, he finds himself wishing this was Hermitcraft (a thought he tries to avoid), and he could wear it proudly to show off to his friends. That Grian is his and he is Grian's.)

Grian

Grian waits until Scar pulls away, content to stay pressed close to him. But then Scar presents a question, and Grian's face burns, eyes flicking up to bask in the sight of the feather behind Scar's ear. "I— I um—" he stammers. He likes having it on display, and all the implications of it. It makes something in his chest purr with happy warmth. But— Is Scar supposed to wear it? Grian's never done anything like this before. He actually doesn't know.

His fingers reach, but he doesn't touch the tucked feather. Instead, his fingertips brush Scar's earlobe, and he wonders how wonderful it would feel to see Scar proudly wear the feather as an earring.

But then the reality crashes in. Grian's fingers tremble and pull away, and he swallows thickly. His eyes are big and vulnerable, with a touch of deep-rooted fear, when they find Scar's again. "I—" he stammers again, in a completely different pitch this time.

His wings slide off of Scar's back, reclaiming their spot behind Grian, making themselves smaller. (And yet. And yet they're still not as tightly pressed to his spine as they used to be.)

He thinks of a bright spot of violet, permanently tied to Scar, on display. In a world where that particular brilliant shade is as good as a death sentence.

"I don't know," he finishes in an unsteady half whisper, heart hammering painfully in his chest.

Scar

Scar's ear flicks when touched, but the feather remains tucked where it is; he even twitches upward to make sure of it. He watches Grian fumble with his words and how his wings retreat, nervous and almost ashamed of their gorgeous hue. Scar finds that he really does not like that.

He meets Grian's eyes, steady even as his own are still red from shed tears. "Do you want me to?" Then, softer, serious. "I want to." His eyes flick downward, pondering his next words carefully before seemingly resolving to something. He looks back up and adds, unwavering. "Maybe dangerous, but... feels good. Feels… right."

Grian

Grian doesn't even have to consider Scar's question; he knows the answer instantly. Yes. Yes, he does want that, but—

He can't. He can't say that. He can't bear the implications, the possibilities. He can't stand the thought of making scar any more of a target than he already is.

He feels his eyes water as his heart is locked in this hopeless fight. Scar tells him he wants to do it, and that it feels right, and damn, Grian knows it feels right—it feels so, so horribly right for Scar to wear the feather on proud display.

And still. Grian's eyes close, sending tears tumbling down. His head dips as he shakes it no, suddenly so very afraid.

He doesn't want Scar to get hurt because of him. Because of this. Because of a silly, sentimental foolishness.

Scar

Scar pauses, heart aching at the display of complicated emotions that shower over Grian's face, shifting and moving until he lands on something all too close to despair and dips his head low.

Scar chews his lip, also dismayed by the reality they live in, before pulling his little avian in close again, pressing him to his chest where he can cry.

"Maybe... just for now," he whispers, secure in their current privacy. "And we'll figure it out?"

--------

Eventually, after many talks and reassurances and sinking, fearful feelings, Scar ends up fashioning the feather into an earring. He already has one ear pierced, and easily uses that to have the feather on him.

It’s a security risk, in a way. But Scar needs it, needs to be able to proudly proclaim that they belong to each other. That whoever might want Grian’s feathers would have to go through him first.

And they do. Go through him first.

There’s an incident where a hunter gets grasp of the feather and yanks it. (They want that feather <3) It takes the whole earring with it, sending a spike of pain through Scar.

There’s a lot of blood.

Scar doesn’t care.

All he cares about is the fact that this hunter now has Grian’s feather in his grasp, and he’s not meant to have that, he can’t, it doesn’t belong to him.

(He once promised Grian that nobody can have his wings, and that extends to this feather, too. To any part of Grian, really.) (And yet Grian gave himself over to Scar so fully, so willingly.)

And... yep. Scar goes a little feral. As a treat.

He takes that hunter down.

In the aftermath of it, he clutches the bloodied earring close to his chest, needing to feel it, to shield it, to make sure it’s his, nobody else has it, just him. He is determined to fiercely protect it, because of everything it means. And because Grian gave it to him.

Speaking of, Grian’s inconsolable. He’s very, very upset; this just adds to his fears that he’s only ever going to get Scar hurt. That nothing good comes from his feathers. That they’re just an omen bringing blood and death. (Something that’ll be reinforced later, too <3)

He doesn’t want Scar to be in that firing line. He doesn’t want Scar to get any more hurt because of him. Not for a single feather. (Even if that single feather means everything.)

All he thinks about is that he was right— His feather did lead to Scar getting hurt. And it’s awful, and he feels sick, and guilty, and so very hopelessly, fearfully sad.

But Scar isn’t deterred. He doesn’t care; he’d willingly fight the whole world for this. (For Grian.) He stubbornly pierces his other ear, and it bleeds too, but it doesn’t matter. He puts the earring right back in. (Yep, this is how the earring swapped sides—)

Of course they talk about it. And it’s a mess. It’s even more complicated than before.

Scar ends up saying, “Grian, if it really makes you uncomfortable I’ll— I’ll keep it hidden, but if it’s only for my sake, then no. Please let me wear it.”

And… Well, Grian has no idea how to feel.

He doesn’t want to put Scar in danger. But also, seeing that feather? Seeing Scar wear it? It reinstates everything they are to each other, every whispered, sobbed-out promise, every comforting touch and press of lips, every small, hard-fought laughter.

Scar wearing the feather both soothes Grian immeasurably, and makes him sick to his stomach with dread.

But ultimately, he leaves the choice in Scar’s hands.

And Scar decides to wear it. (He’ll take down anyone who tries to touch it <3)

#ange answers #ribbon anon #hhau #feather earring #scarian #link might have some art for this :3c #hehe

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago

Text

s5 episode 1 thoughts

bouncing. bouncing up and down. off of the walls. this episode was SO good. thank you. everyone say thank you, chris carter. thank you for fainting scully, tomato lover scully, doctor scully, crying mulder, plotting mulder, breaking and entering mulder, and for skinner in general.

but back to who i was before yesterday... allow us to return to past juni.

it’s been 800 years… (and by that i mean a week and 2 days have passed since i last watched an episode)

we left off in a pretty… precarious position. so i’m interested to see where things go from here. and hopefully they will be less stressful.

but i’m so happy to be back! i swear once i finish this show i’ll have to quit my job. there will be nothing to get me through LMAO.

it sounds like mulder is going to do some breaking and entering… again, fork spotted in kitchen

how the HELL did he fake his own death… this is giving sherlock!!

god, hearing her voice trembling again as she talks about identifying his body… i did not need to relive this pain!!

so we go back to him crying and watching alien stuff on his couch the night before her big meeting

“an act of faith began with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance not just of understanding, but of recovery” <- oh… so he admits to the whole thing being about healing…

and he says that he hoped finding the truth would reunite him with his sister, which i KNOW he was thinking all along, but hearing him SAY IT is still devastating; the way he never actually said it aloud before was very impactful, and so is his decision to break that vow of silence

“a belief which i now know to be false and uninformed in the extreme” <- NOOO please do not give up my king… i do not entirely believe this kritshcgau fool

he’s sobbing. he's so pretty when he sobs even if it is sad.

“my folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception” <- oh no… i wanted him to Realize he was being Like That... but not in this way…

so he picks up the gun, saying it would be easier to end this journey if the pain had just been his own… and oh my god......

but then the phone rings… and it’s kritshcgau? he’s trying to explain that he might have been followed after leaving his apartment, but mulder does not give a FUCK LMAO

he wants to know who this man is and if they really gave scully cancer because of him. understandable.

he’s looking around for bugs in his room as he is warned of what’s going on…. and he finds one on the ceiling!! and not the insect kind, the camera kind!!!

mulder finds someone upstairs watching him on camera and burning stuff, but then this mystery guy picks up his shotgun and shoots mulder??? maybe?? it’s hard to tell??? strategic cutoff??

(i assume it’s shotgun guy from before, but frankly i don’t remember what his face looked like, so. listen! a lot can happen in a week and two days)

ah, it feels so nice to be watching the intro again. nature is healing… and by nature i mean me.

scully gets home at midnight, checking her voicemail… she starts to get undressed for bed

“keep going, FBI woman” <- WHAT THE FUCK.

IT’S MULDER??? she’s soooo GAGGED LMAOOO THE LOOK ON HER FACE???? i’m howling

MULDER BABY YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT WHEN YOU BREAK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE. BAD BOY (sprays with water) (sprays with water) (sprays with-

“mulder? what are you doing? why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?” <- a VERY reasonable question!!!!

he says there’s a dead guy in his apartment. she’s had ENOUGH of his shenanigans, and he clarifies that he is NOT joking

he had been under surveillance for at least 2 months!!!!! that is freaky omggg… god only knows what they saw him doing

he says that he can’t talk to anyone at the bureau because this whole hoax leads back to the FBI!!!

HOLD ON PAUSE. WHY THE FUCK DOES SCULLY HAVE A POSTER OF DIFFERENT TOMATOES ON HER APARTMENT WALL. HOLD ON I’M FUCKING CRYING. STOP. THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. oh my gooood.

she saw a poster of tomatoes and said you know what? this would look FANTASTIC in my apartment.

god, scully, you truly are the best character of all time. i had no idea you felt so strongly about the humble tomato.

i cannot complain about anything else that happens in this episode, i’m out of breath from laughing. oh my god. this is gonna get me through so much. tomorrow i’m gonna go to work and a customer is gonna yell at me and i’m just gonna smile thinking about scully’s tomato poster.

i don’t even really remember what was happening.

okay, right, so the guy whose apartment was above mulder’s, he was destroying records of himself calling the FBI. so who in the FBI was he calling?? and must it be the one who is behind all of this??

“i will not allow this treason to prosper- not if they’ve done this to you” he says <- OKAYYYY!!! protective man is in his protective mode 🔥 you truly do LOVE to see it. it’s almost as good as scully in doctor more but let’s be honest, nothing can ever beat that.

ohhh, he says they can lie back to them!!!! sneaky sneaky man... your fox-like nature is showing

so it was HIS IDEA to have her come and make the ID on his "body" even though it was false!!??

so she was ACTING in that meeting??? WAS SCULLY A THEATRE KID?? because she sold that for real!!!!

he’s going on about how he’s asking her to lie so they can find out who this enemy from within is….

scully runs into skinner after identifying the body, who asks if it’s true that mulder is really dead, and she lies, saying yes. he wants to know if she’s okay, and she pulls the “i don’t know what to say” card, which is entirely understandable.

he asks how she made the ID if he died from a shot to the head, so she says she saw him earlier that morning and he was wearing the same clothes. and there’s a look skinner has into the distance as he tries to determine how and why they would have seen each other before 6:30 am. like you could see the gears turning in his head as if he was saying omg, so they WERE together this whole time. it’s comical, in a way.

which also leads me to wonder, well i’m no expert in these things, but if you know someone long enough, wouldn’t you recognize them even sans face? by body alone?

he says he’s very sorry. and when she tries to leave he very sternly calls out “agent scully >:| section chief blah blah blah thinks you’re hiding stuff” (paraphrased obviously)

skinner looks SOOO suspicious of whatever she's plotting lmaooo. and he is right to be!

meanwhile, a very alive mulder is going to the department of defense to scout some advanced research using the dead guy’s ID!! ooooo high stakes, high stakes!!!! he's narrating that if they’re busted, they’re done for good!!

now scully is in the office with the section chief. and he’s talking about someone from the DOD giving her classified information.

they ask her for information and she’s clearly hiding stuff…. but she identifies kritshcgau!!! omg i didn't think she was going to!!

uh oh… kritshcgau sees mulder in the DOD!! “hey! how’d you get in here?” “through the front door” <- lmao he can never be serious!!

kritshcgau tells mulder to come with him… is this a trap???

he’s gagged because that card gives mulder LEVEL FOUR CLEARANCE which i take is a BIG DEAL

yes, it is, because it would give him access to EVERYTHING!! even the thing he wants most of all… the cure for scully’s cancer!! you can see the tears forming in his eyes at the thought… oh man. ohhh mulder…

cancer man has burst into mulder’s apartment… now what are you doing here, you freak???

OHHHH he finds a photo of mulder and samantha on his desk when they were kids... ohhhh... my heart 😭😭😭😭😭

(there’s also some art on the wall of mulder's apartment that i can’t make the details out on. one piece seems to be some sort of pastoral scene with a sheep in it? and the other seems to be abstract. does anyone know what they are? i mean, it’s no tomato poster. but still)

CSM is actually crying seeing this photo and the blood he presumes to be mulder's on the carpet, and i don’t know if he feels genuine sadness or is just heartbroken his decades long alien colonization plan has been thwarted. honestly i do think he’s sad about mulder. he seemed to be in love with both mr. and mrs. mulder tbh, and that can do things to a guy.

he finds the secret ceiling camera...

scully is in mulder’s office now, calling someone. she pulls out the phone number shotgun guy had been calling!! holly answers it and says she is so sorry to hear about what happened to mulder…. but scully has no time to talk about these things

who is this holly? how does she know scully? are they friends? i need the backstory.

scully… you are so beautiful…. holding this paper and calling holly on the phone, telling her when the calls were placed so she can track down who shotgun man called a million times…..

OH GOD!!! IT’S SKINNER’S EXTENSION!!!

scully looks devastated by this… but just as she begins to process it all, the scientist calls her back about the ice!! she has so much on her mind, please do not make her come look at some damn ice 😭

now, i do not believe that skinner is really behind all this. if he is involved at all, it is because he made that deal with CSM to try and save her... and maybe he was tricked, but he did NOT do it willingly!

kritshcgau and mulder are talking about level four, which apparently a place and not just a classification, and is home to medical facilities!! and vast quantities of DNA storage!! from every person who has ever given blood or tissue since ww2!!!

damn that’s crazy. how tf would you even store all that?? it’s gotta be a warehouse.

he’s saying this is the hoax into which mulder was drawn…. the US fanned the flames of UFO stories to draw attention away from the whole “mutually assured destruction” thing, which, well, not sure how well that worked out

OPPENHEIMER MENTIONED‼️him and that damn hat…

(actually still haven’t seen that movie btw. sorry i guess. idk. i’m busy)

KHRUSHCHEV APPEARS ‼️i love to see a familiar face from my textbooks in my TV programs. it's like a crossover event.

kritshcgau says the business of america isn’t business at all, it’s war. well yeah. that is true. and the cold war was an excuse to keep spending military money with no war. which i guess that sort of maybe tracks??

writing off korea and vietnam as just countries squaring off “a few times” is kinda crazy, but his point is: no one used the big bomb.

mulder asks what we are all thinking: what does this have to do with UFOs?

well, let kritshcgau tell you, son. after roswell, the more the government denied about UFOs, the more the public believed them, which was great timing for a country developing supersonic flight

oooo, he claims they almost got caught in korea, as they were accused of using germ warfare. but it’s nothing like what they have now, like what was used for the gulf war, developed in this very building! (said with a very dramatic flourish)

this is a lot of world building at a breakneck pace, and i don’t even know if i’m supposed to believe any of it. maybe some secret top percentage of the government thinks this is true, and the tiny syndicate knows it actually isn’t. that’s my best guess.

the abductions actually did happen, he clarifies, but not by aliens. hmm. a top secret project. well without aliens what's the point?

kritshcgau says it’s about DNA control. but for what purpose???

mulder asks, why make a whole fake alien body for all this then? and kritshcgau says because scully wouldn’t have been alive to disprove the alien body if their timing had been correct!!! so he would have believed it, then they could discredit him!

kritshcgau also says his son coming back sick from the gulf war is his retribution for going along with all of this, and he's thinking there’s a cure for him somewhere in there. well i think the whole gulf war disease and advanced cancer are very different. but maybe they both have secret cures?

off mulder goes, into level 4, taking one last look at kritshcgau, who is immediately apprehended by the DOD for questioning!!!! i feel that this will be the last we see of him.

cutscene to someone racing a horse?? is it bestie well groomed man?? and his many horses??

no!! it’s the department chair guy meeting with CSM!!! CSM is pissed that he didn’t know someone was watching mulder, but the chairman denies it.

he is even MORE pissed about being cut out of this project; “i CREATED mulder” <- okay so that is not putting out the “CSM is actually his father” allegations

chair guy says that mulder is dead

OHHH BUT CSM SAYS “i’ve never underestimated mulder. i still don’t” <- DAMN!!! that’s absolutely wild… i guess it’s important to know your opponent, and how willing they would be to fake their death, and if they could pull it off or not

(CSM angrily leaves)

back to scully at the ice core guy’s lab. and again, oh my god, she’s beautiful. no no no i don’t want to hear about fetal bovine serum. what the hell does that even mean. go back to her beautiful face.

he put the junk from the ice core in the serum... the cells were dividing… into somatic development?? the beginning of a life form. she looks shocked by this, but again. idk what that means!

bleugh, the ice core sample creature... it looks ugly…….

mulder’s snooping about the level 4 area, but the DOD people are behind him, and none of the doors have opened!!! he says that if they find the cure, it will mean for sure that he has believed in a lie from the start. well, i don’t think that’s true necessarily. i mean, the abduction thing could be from an alien-government collaboration, or aliens could still be out there, just not involved with this one thing, you know?

he picks a lock (okay!! crazy skyrim reference) and finds himself in a very dark room. and i am attracted to him. don't worry about it. anyway, whatever he sees seems to shock him???

cut to a TON of CGI aliens on cots LMAO WHAT???? just laying out n about 😭 it had to smell so bad in there… i imagine aliens smell very bad

now this alien closest to him has been lovingly crafted with practical effects, which is much better. so we can see his slime. that is not the part that is better, the slime visibility; its just that practical effects look more visually convincing in such a case

scully is narrating that she had no way to reach him and talk about their discovery of an unidentified life form. which is what happens when you fake your death and go in the secret medical facility of doom.

why is he TOUCHING the nasty alien body???? EUGH!!!!!!

scully is pondering if this thing she found in the serum could be the proof of an alien or the proof of a hoax… a lot of big questions for her to handle here

he sees some flashing lights deep in the secret corridor, and follows it…. a whole lot of strobe light action going on in here. that stuff doesn't even bother me and i was like damn, that was a lot. i imagine it was much worse for the people who already have issues with bright lights.

she says that maybe this thing in the ice core sample is biologically connected to her cancer??

how does this connect to all of those half-alien, half-human people they found back in arizona??!!

beautiful man is looking through the window…

OH MY GOD HE SEES A BUNCH OF WOMEN BEING SCANNED????? WITH BRIGHT FLASHING LIGHTS?? oh man.... WHAT IS GOING ON???? what are they DOING??

what did they call it before?? inducing mega ovulation?? yikes.

BLEUGH. i paused here as scully was getting blood drawn. i am woozy. how do they fake that for filming??

she needs a southern blot, btw. if that means anything to you. to compare that culture to her own DNA.

belaughhh. she needs the match before 7. he says we can’t do that.

“it’s got to happen. everything in my life depends on it” <- YOU TELL HIM!!!

he has no idea wtf that means but is taken aback by her seriousness

NOW WHY IS SKINNER WATCHING THIS????

OHHH SHE GOES OUT AND CONFRONTS HIM!! “is this more dirty work you’re doing for the DOD??” <- OHHHHH she is NOT HOLDING BACK

he says he has the tests from the body they found in mulder’s apartment on his desk; he knows it isn't him!!! and as she compounds the lies, she compounds the consequences!!!!

OHHHHH THAT WHOLE SCENE WAS SOOOOO JUICY I’M GONNA TEAR OUT MY HAAAAAIR

“all lies lead to the truth, isn’t that right?”

“and what about your lie, agent scully? what does it lead to?”

“the truth- about the men behind what happened to me, about my abduction and the tests, about being exposed to something against my will, about being put on a table and having something implanted in me and then having my memory stolen, only to have it returned along with a disease that i was given.” (ohh she was getting more and more furious as she said this and it was SO good)

“is that your justification? if that what you’re going to tell the joint panel tonight?”

“are you afraid of that?” <- OHHH her mocking and accusatory tone… i need it bottled

“well, considering the dead man in mulder’s apartment was murdered in cold blood and you willfully misidentified him, yes, i am afraid. but i’m only afraid for you” (<- and i do believe him, that he is scared to watch her proceed in this way, almost recklessly, even though it's calculated)

“you’re going to use that against me, aren’t you? you’re going to use me as i’ve been used all along- to preserve the lies”

“where is agent mulder?”

(she walks away)

WOOO baby, that scene was ACTING!! the tight closeups on their face was crazy, and it def could have backfired had they not been so freaking talented. every microexpression spoke a thousand words. i feel energized just watching it!!

jumping up and down. jumping up and down. we are sooooo back.

ohhh she goes into the lab herself to do the testing… in her lab coat… and her goggles… spinning the blood around… i’m faint…

meanwhile, mulder's walking through some weird pipes??

AUGH, there’s something IN HER BLOOD WATER, and she says it could be a connection between the conspirators and the cancer in her blood…. well to me it looks like a worm

he finds a new secret door and enters with a hand in his pocket, looking around... tension!!!

she’s ready to blow open this whole conspiracy!! ooooo you'd better stand back and watch it happen!

(they’re narrating all of this because this is a tv show and that is how an audiovisual media works, but i find it funny to imagine them speaking into a voice recorder as they describe their highly illegal activities)

he reaches the end of the mystery space and finds a ton of filing cabinets??? so he’s going to the scully file. he finds hers!!! it is a paper with a bunch of letters on it. which clears up nothing

and he pulls one out for kritschgau’s son as well!!! but it looks like his is blank???

someone from the DOD calls CSM to say that “scott” (mulder with the dead guy's ID card) made his way into the pentagon!! so he’s off to go find him. stay away from him, freak...

scully is rolling some sort of paper after soaking the mixture of stuff from her blood. you’re confused, i’m confused, i’m fascinated as to how this was explained for filming purposes, but here we are

“if my work with agent mulder has tested the foundation of my beliefs, science has been and continues to be my guiding light” <3

“now i’m again relying on its familiar and systematic methods to arrive at a truth- a fact that might explain the fate that has befallen me”

i love that she sees science as familiar and systematic; she really seems to be someone that values those aspects of stability, of knowing what can and cannot be true, and as the world grows more and more complex as they unravel the conspiracies, she turns to what she knows she can rely on. it reminds me in a way about how she values the comfort of a home, of the known, of what can be experienced and understood. she seems to thrive on that sort of knowledge, and i relate to it. something steady to keep her afloat, you know? it also speaks to her rigidity in following the rules. there is order and structure that maintains things, and that can be a great comfort, or a terrible hindrance if it is used for evil. but she, deep down, believes that there still is fundamental good. the rules, the science, the facts, the comfort of them all. it’s a terribly scary world; her biggest fear is what others are capable of. of course there is comfort in the known and the material. i like that a lot.

she hopes to match the virus from the mystery organism to the stuff in her cells, which would mean that her cancer has a cause, even if a cure is unknown! and maybe then they could find a cure to the virus thingy...? is this wishful thinking??

“if science serves me to these ends, it is not lost on me that the tool which i’ve come to depend on absolutely cannot save or protect me, but only bring into focus the darkness that lies ahead” <- hey. hey ouch. pain.

i refuse to consider such a possibility. there are too many more seasons ahead.

back to mulder in the labyrinth, looking for stuff that matches the numbers on her card. ough… why does his hair look so good…

anyway, he finds some sort of liquid

OH scully has done it!!! she’s mixed her DNA with the viral DNA from the cell!! oh, the ice core doctor guy is SHOCKED to learn that she has stuff in her that was also in the CANADIAN ALIEN MOUNTAINS!!

she explains that she believes she was exposed to this material that gave her an illness… and when he asks what kind, all she says is that it cannot be cured. damn. that was very dark.

so mulder finds this little vial of stuff with the specific numbers on it?? in a tiny tiny little bottle?

is it shots shots shots shots time??

he’s leaving from the pentagon, and in a voice over monologue, points out that he is as dependent upon her as she is upon him for the cure!!! as now she must convince the committee of her story!!!

she goes into the meeting room, bracing herself…. and she begins where we began in the last episode!!!! and now we know WHY she is reporting on the illegitimacy of his work!! ah, it is sweet relief to know there was no backstabbing between them

mulder is trying to sneak out… but his card swipe isn’t working…. and the military guys enter!!!

can he play it cool?? can he beat them in a fight??? well, it FINALLY works, and one thing he can do is run!! and he manages to!!!!

GASP! CSM sees mulder leave, and says to let him go!! he seems almost relieved to see mulder alive and with this mystery liquid

and scully’s doing her oscar-winning performance about identifying a body. an absolute serve.

but skinner comes in just as she says this….

her eyes are filled with tears as she pulls out the evidence… (which is just two lines on paper, but you KNOW she is going to explain it)

and she notes that the whole thing was “planned and executed by someone in this room”, seeming to blame it all on skinner… oh my god…

OH MY GOD SHE’S STARTING HER PRESENTATION AND HER NOSE STARTS TO BLEED???

SHE FAINTS?????? and SKINNER CATCHES HER????

she looks at him and says “you…..” before passing back out <- WHAT DID SHE WANT TO SAY TO HIM??!??!?!?!?!

mulder is with the lone gunmen analyzing the mystery liquid…. and it’s water??

hold on, i had to rewatch her fainting and skinner catching her… how he starts to hold her face but stops himself… the way she says “you” so quietly… and then she loses consciousness again… oh my god… to be caught by the person she thinks is killing her…

and skinner… i don’t believe for a minute that he is behind this. how hurt he must be at her accusations, his terror in watching her march ahead recklessly and lie to these people who would kill her in a heartbeat, and actively ARE killing her, and he was the one that made the deal with the devil to try and get this to stop happening, but what if he’s only advanced the work of the devil and got nothing out of it for himself…? and she doesn't even trust him!!!!

i rewatched that scene 4 times. and it was amazing during each of them.

and mulder… with his water… mystery water in vials… what can it do?? is it really just water?? why tf would the government hide vials of water with incredibly specific numbering deep in the pentagon. i don't buy it.

oh man, we are SOOOOOO back!!!!! i am bouncing off the walls. i cannot WAIT to learn what happens next. the angst here was EXQUISITE.

i’m such a sucker for angst involving mulder/scully and skinner. it’s going to get me EVERY time. over and over and over again. it just punches me in the gut. and all the other stuff punches me in the gut too, but this one has a certain je ne sais quoi factor about it; is it the mentor/mentee relationship of it all?? the way they care about each other but don’t know how to express it?? how they go from being willing to die and to kill for each other and then suddenly that trust is entirely removed, back and forth, back and forth? oh, it’s like CATNIP to me.

scully fainting and him catching is already going to be on my list of favorite moments, i know it, i know myself too well.

AUGHHHHHAUAGGHHHHRAUGGHHHHHAUGHHHHHH i LOVE THIS SHOW see it can be SO GOOD WHEN IT WANTS TO BE!!!!!!!!!

the trickery!! the plotting!! the deception!! the mysteries within mysteries!!! i still think the aliens are real though!! what are they doing with those women?? giving then alien DNA so they can steal their eggs to make alien babies?? what is that oil stuff in mulder?? and where does krycek fit into this??? and again, those half alien things in arizona?? don’t tell me!! don’t tell me because i am excited to learn!!!

YEAHHHHH!!!

#a very very very good episode #i look forward to watching the next part hopefully very soon. like in an hour or so would be nice.#they're both so beautiful i don't point it out enough. like i point it out about scully every episode but also? mulder. mulder too.#sometimes he's difficult and annoying but he is always gonna serve looks #and he is still my babygirl despite it all #i can't believe he was going to really do it at the start :(#that is going to make me very sad for a long time. but there are other things to focus on here that are also worth being sad about #truly not going to ever recover from that scully and skinner angst but i don't even want to. it hurt just right.#ahhh! i am so excited to see what happens next!!#tomatoes.#juni's x files liveblog #5x01 #the x files #txf

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yuncheoligans · 2 years ago

Text

Forever

Wooyoung x Single Mom! Reader

Your life gets flipped upside down when you take a new backup dancer job at KQ Entertainment, you lied in your interview how will you get out of this one?

Genre: Mostly Fluff, Some Angst.

Warnings: (?) Angst, Mentions of cheating, self-doubt, and arguing.

w/c: 8715

a/n: Ahhh the longest one I've written so far!!! Oh god, I really hope it's good and that you guys like it, I've never written anything this long and I'm so scared to post it hahaha. I feel like even as long as it is it might feel a little rushed. I have no idea....it took me a long time to write anyways so any and all feedback is welcomed. Okay AH! Enjoy, please!

tags: @cromernet @starillusion13, @jaehunnyy (for you Chippie)

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I don’t get to brush my teeth before breakfast. Today was a really important day for me though and I absolutely could not bring my screaming toddler to my first day as a backup dancer at KQ Entertainment.

“What do you think Sweet Pea? Pancakes for breakfast?” I looked at her. “How about some fruit too? Grapes, Cantaloupe?” she smiled.

“Mama!” she pointed at the plate.

“I know I know they’re coming.” I flipped the stove on and kept brushing my hair. This is what I get for letting her try to braid it last night. “I knew I should’ve prepped last night.”

Of course, the day was going to be crazy, I’m a ball of anxiety there’s no way I couldn’t be.

“Do you like the melon today? It’s in season so it should be nice.”

“Juicy.” she smiled. “I like it!” she raised it in the air.

“I’m glad, maybe I’ll get more the next time we go to the grocery store.” I ate with her and wiped her mouth when it got to be too much.

“Are you excited to hang out with grandma today?” I picked up her plate so we could go wash dishes together.

“Grandma is coming?” she looked at me.

“Yes, are you excited?” I looked down at her and pulled her step stool up since she insists she can ash her own dishes.

“Mmmmm I dunno.” she shrugged and I chuckled.

The doorbell rang.

“Hi Mom, thanks for watching her again.” I sighed opening the door a two-year-old attached to my hip. “Saja, say hi to grandma.” I nudged her and she hid behind my shoulder. My shy little girl.

“Oh still shy as ever I see. Does she talk to anyone?” my mom chuckled.

“She’ll talk to me, especially when she gets upset…she’s just nervous around people. In fact, we were just talking about you coming over.”

“Oh, how fascinating.” she smiled.

“Okay let me just show you around really quickly to make sure you know where everything is. It’s been a while since you traveled here and I really appreciate it.”

I gave her the tour around the apartment, sure it wasn’t big but it was enough to stress me out, and have trouble keeping clean. Important numbers on the fridge, obviously call me if there’s an emergency. Snacks in one cabinet, dry food in another, what she likes and doesn’t so far, what she likes to do all day, hopefully, if the weather is nice they can go to a park. I went to get ready while Saja was distracted and put my bag together.

“Where we going?” she asked and patted my bag by the front door reaching for her shoes.

“Unfortunately today Pumpkin you have to stay with grandma while Mama goes to her first day of work.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“But-”her eyes gazed over. “But I wanna go.” she pouted and big tears started forming.

“It’s just like that time that mama had to drop you off at daycare for the first time sweet pea, remember how much fun that turned out to be. You met Junie, and Kiri.”

“But I no want mama go.” she hiccuped.

“I know baby, I’ll be back before you go to bed I promise. Probably even before dinner ok.” I hugged her and spun her around. “It’ll be hard today, but easy tomorrow ok? Just gotta trust me.”

“Otay.” she wiped her eyes. “Promise come back?”

“I promise. I’m not ever leaving you.” I kissed her forehead.

And so that’s how the first day of the rest of my life began. I got to KQ, nearly died from exhaustion on how much they taught us that first day, raced home to be there for my kid before she went to sleep, and did it again for months, some days it was picking her up from daycare, sometimes my mom would take care of her. Of course, I made some work friends who wanted to hang out but I couldn’t… I can’t just go drinking after practice, I have to get home to watch the new episode of Octonauts, read bedtime stories, and make sure her “homework” (coloring.) is done.

“Oh come on y/n, come out with us.” Jaeun begged.

“I-I really can’t, I have to get back home.”

“What do you have a kid or something?” he teased.

“S-Something yeah. I um…just a tight schedule and I’m trying to make ends meet.”

“Oh second job?” Eun suggested.

“It’s just important and I can’t just…I don’t really have free time. I’m sorry, I really do want to but I have so much to do…” I bowed. “Thank you really. I appreciate it every time you ask me. I’ll see you around.”

I started to leave when a voice spoke up next to me.

“Nice work today y/n.” came the calm cool voice of none other than Jung Wooyoung.

“Th-Thank you Mr.Wooyoung.” I said again with a bow.

“Maybe they can’t convince you out but could I?” he quirked an eyebrow…..Is he flirting with me?

“I’m s-sorry I really have to go.” I picked up my bag and left. Did Jung Wooyoung just talk to me….and ask me out? Are you kidding me? I can’t get…I can’t.

“Mama.” called out the small voice waiting by my front door.

“Hi baby.” I picked her up and smiled once more. “I missed you too.”

“You look upset.” my mom said looking me over.

“It’s ok Mom, maybe later.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Saja. “For now, let me see what you learned today?”

“Color!” she ran over to the table after I set her down and started telling me the names of the colors.

“Wow look at you my smart girl.” I smiled and looked at the drawing she made of the rainbow. “Definitely going on the fridge today.”

“Yay!” she smiled and went to pick out the magnet for the drawing.

“I got asked out for drinks again.” I sighed.

“I would’ve watched her honey, you can go.”

“It wasn’t just by my coworkers this time…it was one of my bosses….I don’t know I’ve maybe bumped into him like 3 times but I haven’t really ever had a conversation with him and I…I couldn’t say yes.”

“Why not, it’s been a while since you had a date.”

“Mom I’m not really…dating material…I have a kid and…I don’t know.”

“y/n, you should try it…just…take a chance.”

“Maybe….I’ll…I’ll think about it mom.”

“I just want you to be happy kiddo, and to not feel so alone.”

“I’m never alone…but it would be a little nice to…think about some help…Mom he doesn’t want kids! What am I even saying.” I sighed.

“This one!!!” Saja ran back in with a rainbow magnet for her rainbow drawing. “I want dis one.” she smiled.

“Okay that one it is.” I smiled and took her rainbow to hang it up. “And so now which one is your favorite color?”

“Yellow.” she smiled.

“Good choice.” I kissed her head. “Come on let’s get ready for bed.”

I got her into her yellow duckie pajamas, we washed our faces, and we brushed our teeth and read together, she’s trying new words but also told me what color each things were. My smart girl.

“Goodnight Princess.” I whispered and kissed her head leaving the room.

“y/n.” my mom called me over. “I really want you to think about having fun with your friends.”

“I will mom…I…They don’t know I have a kid and I just, I don’t know wouldn’t it just be weird I’m suddenly the mom friend.”

“Honey, you already act like a mom because you’ve always been the mom friend.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt again….I don’t want Saja to get hurt again.” I looked back at her door.

One year ago, it was raining, I’d just gotten fired from my job for falling asleep in a meeting because my good-for-nothing partner wouldn’t take care of his own child at 2am. I came home to a screaming Saja, no furniture except her bed and mine, and a letter on the counter with photos of my worst fear….he was cheating on me this whole time. At least he had the decency to leave his keys. I was so scared I called my mom and that night I did the only thing I could hold onto my screaming one-year-old and cry too. I just wanted the best for her, unplanned or not she deserved as much love as I could give her. In some small ways, she tried too, if she saw me having a bad day after I couldn’t find a job she’d offer me a snack, if I fell asleep while we were together she’d curl up next to me and stay put so I could sleep. She was truly one of the best things if not the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I could give her a good life where she doesn’t have to worry about things at 2 years old…she shouldn’t see me cry already. Now the opportunity was knocking on my door, figuratively of course…Just the prospect of a date was terrifying, could I really let someone in like that again?

Jung Wooyoung is nothing but consistent…consistently a pain in my ass, he really doesn’t quit I mean at first it was every other day he’d ask if I was busy after work, but now it’s twice a week…he won’t stop…He’s famous, he’s…he’s an idol he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I said I had a kid. He’d leave me alone…can I really expose myself like that? What if I get fired? I really need this job…Christ, what am I going to do? Just keep saying no he’ll give up and move on. Right.

“Oh you’re just mad someone actually said no to you Wooyoungie.” San teased his best friend as he pouted at another failed date attempt.

“It’s the way she carried herself, and that she always looks after the others, I mean I’ve seen her make sure everyone has water before drinking herself, and if someone looks unwell she’s the first one to check on them.” Wooyoung groaned flailing on the couch.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for moms.” Hongjoong chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a total mom friend making sure everyone else is taken care of.” he smiled at the younger one, rejection never looked so good on someone.

“You could’ve just dated Seonghwa if you were into that.” Mingi spoke up.

“He’s not my type.” Seonghwa flipped the page he was reading.

“No you’re not my type! I’m everyone’s type!” Wooyoung stood up flabbergasted by the thought. “Jung Wooyoung is everyone’s type.”

“Just don’t catch a harassment case.” Seonghwa sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s kind.”

How could she say no to Jung Wooyoung so many times, he’s charming, handsome, funny, super attractive, sexy, cute, hilarious, and a dance machine. Maybe he should start with…

“How about lunch?” Wooyoung smiled.

“Hmm?” I looked up at him.

“Come get lunch with me.” he nodded.

“Oh um I-”

“You never want to do anything after work so why not during, we get a long enough break, I’ll even buy for being a pain in the ass so much.”

“Really Mr. Wooyoung I’m flattered but I have my own, it’s alright.”

“You seriously have to stop calling me Mister, I’m not that old and I’m not even your boss.” he smiled. “Just have lunch with me…us really a group of us are going.”

“I……okay.” I said sheepishly thinking about how much my mom is going to yell at me for not going.

When he said group I wasn’t expecting all of Ateez to be the group. Oh god, do I look okI should really sit like Six feet away just in case there’s cameras and does my breath smell ok?

“Hi y/n!” seonghwa waved. At least he was kind….they all are I don’t know what I’m saying.

“H-Hi Seonghwa.” I flushed and waved back sitting at the small metal table with them, the chairs dragging on the floor causing the shrill sound to ring out.

“Guys this is y/n…the one rejecting Wooyoung.” he smiled.

“Okay so not cool!” Wooyoung yelled. “I finally get her to come down to lunch and you embarrass me.”

Lunch with Ateez was becoming a regular thing, every week now I’d go with Wooyoung and we’d chat and…I almost felt like another member, sure they did this with others but it felt really special…I felt special. Mom was right I do need more friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just let go and got to know Wooyoung.

“Like a good mother.” Hwa chuckled.

I did a spit take. “Sorry! Just inhaled too much water.” I coughed and my phone started ringing. “Oh sorry I have to take this.” I got up to answer around the corner.

“Mama!” the voice came from the small face on my phone.

“Hi Pumpkin are you having fun with grandma?” I smiled.

“Grandma makes Tteokbokki like you! But not as yummy.” she smiled and held it up.

“Oh? But I learned from grandma so shouldn’t hers be better?”

“Oh now you know it was your grandmother that taught you this recipe, I can’t cook to save my life.” she chuckled.

“And who’s that?” came a voice from behind me.

“Shit!” I jumped and dropped my phone.

“y/n? y/n?” my mom spoke.

“Mama?” Saja called out.

“S-Seonghwa. I-”

“So you are an actual mom?” he smiled.

“N-No I-....I um…it’s my niece and I” I felt the anxiety creep in, I got nauseous and I could taste the bile in my throat.

“Can I see her?” he smiled and sat next to me and picked up my phone but face it away in case I said no.

“Mom I’ll call you back ok. Saja it’s ok.” I smiled lightly at the phone and hung up. “Am I fired?”

“Fired??? For what? Did you steal a water bottle too?” he smiled. “Those are free.”

“No for…for lying about not having a kid.”

“It doesn’t matter that you have a kid pabo.” he picked my face up. “Why’d you hide it?”

“I really needed the job, it’s just me providing and…I didn’t want to be turned down because I have a daughter.”

“I see…y/n you were hired because you are insanely talented and can dance circles around any of those guys, mom or not. I think they wouldn’t have been making you stay so late if they knew, it’s important to be there for a child too.”

“I really need this job Seonghwa.” I felt the tears fall.

“You’re not losing your job honey I promise. It’ll stay between us….only if you let me say hi.” he smiled.

“I…” I picked my phone up and called my mom back. “Hi Mom, um…sorry my um…my boss scared me and he…yeah.” I nervously handed Seonghwa the phone.

“Oh that’s not who I wanted to say hi to hi Mrs. (l/n) you’re very lovely, I wanted to meet y/n jr. though.”

“Oh Saja, come say hi to Mister??”

“Seonghwa.” he smiled waiting for the small child.

“Hi.” Saja said smally as my mom came down to her level with the phone. “Mama??”

“I’m here sweet pea.” I called and peeked over Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Hi baby, what’d you have for lunch?”

“Potatoe.” she said getting quite shy at the man looking at her.

“And?” my mom prompted. “We tried pajeon, and Kimchi for the first time.”

“Kimchi?” Seonghwa smiled, “how exciting. Did you like it?”

“Spicy.” she frowned.

“Maybe we’ll try radish Kimchi she likes crunchy things.” I nodded. “I should get back to my own lunch honey, anything you want to say to Mr. Seonghwa?”

“......pretty.” she blushed looking away from the phone.

I think Seonghwa short-circuited he nearly dropped my phone.

“I’ll be home after work okay, be good for grandma, bye mom, thank you.” I smiled softly and hung up. “Mr.Seonghwa?”

“You really are ana amazing person.” he smiled and hugged me. “Next time we’re meeting in person.”

“Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” I questioned.

“I don’t care that little ray of sunshine is getting spoiled by her uncle Seonghwa now.” he smiled.

If Seonghwa could’ve felt the eyes burning into the back of his head at the glare Wooyoung was sending the older man he’d probably be dead. I on the other hand couldn’t process what just happened…everything felt so strange, letting Seonghwa in on my secret…I wasn’t sure I liked it but it was…nice to let something out.

“And what were you two talking about?” Wooyoung questioned as we sat back down.

“Nothing, I was just making sure she was ok.” Seonghwa shrugged like nothing happened.

“Sorry just a weird phone call. I’m okay.” I nodded and looked down at my lunch.

“Aww cute!” Wooyoung pointed out the note Saja had wrote for me. “Where’d you get that.”

“Must’ve came with the wrap, I didn’t notice.” I looked at the scribbles that I’m sure were supposed to be words but what really made me tear up was the heart, it was mishapen and wobbly but it was her.

“Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung lifted my chin up before the tear hit the paper.

“Yes, I’m ok.” I looked at him and blushed a bright red.

“Promise?” he held out a pinky for me. Saja does the same….

“Promise.” I whispered and let a few tears fall.

That’s where my relationship with Wooyoung took a turn. I noticed the small things at first…the little notes in my bag, the heart on my water bottle, and getting me lunch, or a snack, he always came to talk to me during breaks, and we always sat next to each other if we could during things, bus rides to venues for performances, meetings, anything. It all felt so nice. I felt…happy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give him a chance…even just one.

“Hi cutie!” Wooyoung yelled over the phone as I answered.

“Hi Woo.” I smiled lightly at the phone and walked out to the little patio I had.

“Why so quiet?” he questioned.

“No reason. Just enjoying the peace.” I had just put Saja down and I didn’t want to risk her waking up.

“Listen I was thinking-”

“Isn’t that a dangerous game.” I chuckled cutting him off.

“Come to dinner with me?” he smiled. “Please?”

“I-”

“Before you say no! Just…one chance, look I know you said your ex was terrible and left you with nothing but I just…y/n you’re great, and smart, and wonderful, and beautiful, and…and amazing…please…just one date so I can stop my terrible attempts at flirting. I’m running out of pick-up lines to use on you.”

“Wooyoung I….”I looked back at the apartment and a cool breeze wrapped around me sending a shiver down my spine. It would be nicer to try having someone else around. Was I ready for him to know everything? “Dinner sounds nice. Maybe Friday?”

“Friday.” he smiled, you could hear the grin. The wonderful grin followed by his melodic giggle.

Maybe we can try again…maybe this time won’t hurt so bad. Maybe he’d stay.

You’re getting too ahead of yourself y/n. Just one dinner, and maybe it’ll be okay from there, just take it one day at a time.

Friday came quicker than I’d like and I still had no idea what to wear, what to do, all I knew was my mom was excited and I felt like I was going to throw up again.

“You know Saja likes watching him perform onstage, she says he moves the most like water.” my mom smiled. “She gets so happy seeing you on the tv.”

“I know…she asks to watch a performance before we go to bed usually.”

“Aren’t you excited?”

“No…I mean I am but, god this could go horribly wrong.”

“But it won’t, I’ve seen the little notes, you have this boy smitten like he’s a teenager.” she chuckled.

“Yeah but eventually I’m going to have to tell him about Her.” I motioned to my daughter.

“How do you know he doesn’t like kids?”

“I didn’t say that, but he has been thinking I’m just some poor single woman this whole time Mom, and I don’t know how to bring that up, Oh hi by the way I’ve been lying to you for 4 months, and actually have a two-year-old, hope that doesn’t change anything.” I groaned and pulled on the black cocktail dress I had picked out.

“Honey, I don’t think it will…you trusted Seonghwa with saying hello.”

“That was over the phone and this is different mom…this is a…potential love interest, you know a maybe boyfriend, Seonghwa is no more than a potential babysitter and even that’s a maybe.”

“I think you should let some people in…it’ll be good for you to have more than just me for her. Also I have plans for tonight”

“I know you’re right mom I just…. MOM!!! And you didn’t tell me!” I groaned and picked up my phone. “Fine.”

“Just giving you an extra push dear.”

“You are…I swear!” I hit dial.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of my phone croaked out.

“Hey, could you…do me a favor.” I sighed.

“So you want me to meet your daughter, and babysit her while you go on a date with Wooyoung?” Seonghwa questioned me as I stood with him in the hallway.

“Yes…because my mom forced this…”

“How so.”

“She ‘made plans’ or whatever so now I need a babysitter or I have to tell Wooyoung I’ve been lying this whole time.” I sighed.

“Hey hey okay, I’ll do it.”

“I figured since you brought a goodie basket.” I eyed the stuffed animal behind him. “Saja.” I called out coming back inside. “Come meet Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa could barely contain himself waiting to meet my two year old.

“Mama?” Saja hid around the corner.

“Hey sweet pea, it’s okay…remember him, he’s from the tv.” I held out my hand for her and she walked over to hide behind me.

“Hi Saja.” Seonghwa said calmly and in a quiet tone getting down to her level. “I’m Seonghwa, I work with your mama, remember we talk on the phone.”

“....pretty.” she blushed.

“She remembers.” I pat her head. “Why don’t you show Mr.Seonghwa the painting you did.” she nodded and ran to go get her newest art piece and came back over, she stopped and looked between me and him before taking a cautious step forward.

“Oh my goodness, look at this.” he smiled. “Okay let’s see….a cat?” she nodded. “Wow what a beautiful cat. What’s his name?”

“Rainbow.” she said quietly.

“Rainbow? What a perfect name.” he smiled. “And is mama going to hang it up?” he looked up at me.

“Yes” she smiled and ran off to find the magnet.

“She likes you, I promise, she’s just shy at first.” I breathed. “I have to get going I don’t…want to be late.” I looked at her in the kitchen.

“I promise nothing bad will happen.” Seonghwa tried reassuring me.

“Last time I left her alone with a man he took everything and left.” I brushed him off and grabbed my things.

“Y/n” Seonghwa placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. “I understand, but you deserve some help, and some fun.”

“She’s all I have Seonghwa.”

“Y/n I promise she’s in great care, I wouldn’t dream of hurting either of you.”

I sighed. “Saja. Come give mama a hug please?” she came running over with a new magnet for her cat drawing.

“Where go?” she questioned holding her arms up for a hug.

“Mama is going to go see a friend because she really likes this friend ok? It’s called a date.”

“Date?” she questioned more.

“See when two adults, like mama and her friend like each other more than just friends, which is a very complicated feeling to understand even for adults, they go out to do things together, like eat dinner or watch a movie.”

“Why?”

“To see if they like each other’s company more than other people.” I smiled. “However no one’s company is better than yours sweet pea.” I kissed her nose. “So you stay here and play with Seonghwa and Mama will be back later, like when you stay with Grandma.”

“Are we go on a date too?” she whispered.

“Sure.” I smiled and she was blushing as I put her down. “Have fun okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Seonghwa smiled and Saja walked back over to her table.

My phone dinged again and I made my way out and downstairs to Wooyoung and his very expensive car.

“Didn’t know you could drive.” I raised an eyebrow,

“Very recent, you look beautiful” he smiled.

“Thank you.” I blushed and he opened the car door for me. “Not so shabby yourself sir.”

“Thank you.” he smiled and closed the door gently and mumbled to himself he told me what he said later was “Wow she looks beautiful.” however I think “okay rizz master Wooyoung, you gotta work.” sounds more like what he actually said…don’t let him tell you otherwise.

“So I was just thinking a quiet dinner without all the noise from the guys and maybe a walk?” he smiled.

“Sure, I’m just along for the ride.” I nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this so you’re going to have to carry me along.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got you.” he smiled.

Throughout the course of dinner I learned that work Wooyoung, friend Wooyoung, and date Wooyoung are three very different people. He seems different.

“Yeah no order whatever you like.” he smiled and gestured to the menu.

“I’m not used to this kind of stuff.” its usually chicken nuggets and mac and cheese…why am I suddenly craving it…or pizza, I could so go for a pizza right now.

“Well only the best for you.” he smiled nervously. “How am I going to pay for this?!” he thought to himself.

“Right.” I swallowed nervously and looked at the menu. There aren’t even prices listed. “Wooyoung?” I looked up at him over the menu.

“Hmm? Yes, oh did you have a question?”

“Have you ever eaten here before?”

“Oh yeah loads of times!” why am I lying??”

“What do you recommend?” I blushed a little, I knew he made good money but…I don’t know this seems a bit much.

“Well there’s the uh Hakarl.” he said and pointed. “That’s good and then the Bird’s Nest Soup.” he nodded.

“Oh okay. Why don’t you pick for me, I mean I want whatever you’re having.” I shrugged. He knew what he was talking about.

“I don’t have a clue what I’m saying! What did I even recommend!” he yelled at himself.

When the waiter came back he ordered for us and we left it at that, I finished my glass of wine and looked around at some of the dishes…they all looked interesting…to be kind…I don’t know if I can do this.

“Um excuse me.” I pulled a waiter aside and asked about the dish he had just served. “What did she order?”

“Ah that ma’am is the Bird’s Nest Soup” he smiled. “You see the saliva turns hard-”

“Thank you.” I interrupted and turned back to Wooyoung. Saliva? “Wooyo-”“Y/n” we both said at the same time.

“You go first.” he gestured.

“Wooyoung I really appreciate this but I…I can’t do this…this food is…it’s way too much for me.”

He sighed….here it comes.

“Thank god.” he breathed out. “I really didn’t want to find out what the other thing I ordered is.”

“Can’t we just go get a slice of pizza? Like normal?” I looked down at my hands.

“Please.” he stood up and walked over to our waiter talking to him before handing over his company card and explaining everything. “Let’s go before they bring it out.”

I nodded.

What started off horrible and scary turned into something magic, we found a place by the park close to my apartment and got three sliced of whatever pizza sounded good and just sat in the park. Much more my speed, much more…relaxed.

“I just wanted to impress you.” Wooyoung looks down at the slice of pizza in his lap. “I thought…maybe you’d like it if I took you somewhere special.”

“Who says Pizza isn’t special?” I looked at him but his eyes were turned down to the ground. “Woo?”

“I just….I really like you, especially the more I’ve gotten to know you, you’re kind, and gentle, and just…you’re absolutely wonderful y/n and I really fucked this up tonight.”

“Hey.” I nudged him. “Hey” I said a little more sternly and lifted his chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m still here aren’t I?....I appreciate that you think I deserve some fancy restaurant where we sit 10 feet away from each other and the menus don’t have prices and we’re waited on hand and foot, but…that’s not my speed. I prefer picnics and pizza and bullet train sushi and…fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and stupid little fruit cups.” I smiled at him. “I like it when we have lunch together and we eat ramen or tteokbokki, or even rabokki!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for Wooyoung.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m having a great time eating pizza in my favorite park with my second favorite person on the planet.”

“Who’s the first?”

“No one you need to worry about.” I chuckled and blushed.

“Ahhh your mom then.” he smiled. “Thank you…for not letting me feel like I completely fucked this up.”

“Quite the contrary, you’ve shown me that I really mean something to you…I mean that place was faannncyyyy.”

“You do mean something to me.” he looked into my eyes and there was that intensity that he had when he was dancing. The look of “I’m doing this and no one can stop me.”

“Thank you.” I rubbed his cheek.

You know how it goes, he walked me home, I got the third degree from my mom on how it went…except Seonghwa joined in, I tucked my two year old into bed and then…I had a full moment in bed in my pajamas where I squealed and kicked my legs and just…he kissed my cheek and held my hand and and and…pizza. Yeah. I could…I could get used to having Wooyoung.

It was just like any other day, it was warm and sunny, Wooyoung wanted to go out on a date and we decided another park date, kimbap which of course he made, in fact he made all of the food we ate, mandu, rolled omelet, potato salad, some pajeon, and finally because this obviously isn’t enough food for two people he also made my favorite cucumber salad . I really am one special girl.

“Woo this is too much.” I chuckled looking over at him as he kept bringing out more food.

“Nonsense, you’ll love this.” he smiles but you can tell there’s something bothering him.

“Are you ok?” I looked at him his face tight.

“Yeah, no it’s..it’s nothing I’m fine.” he nodded but he seemed more in his own head now.

“How about next time I’ll make the kimbap? I’ve been told I make it pretty good.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Sure everything was going well, I really like him but I don’t know he seems a little distant recently and I can tell something is bothering him. I…

“Woo?” I said putting down my things. “You know we can talk about things right?”

“I….y/n…I….” he started and closed his mouth a few times. “What’s your relationship with Seonghwa?”

“Seonghwa? I don’t know…friends I guess. I mean I can certainly feel safe around him.” I looked at him confused.

“I know…what I’m about to say is…I know…Are you…Are you cheating on me?”

“What no?!” I looked at him incredulously. “Cheating?? Wooyoung I would-”

“Then why is it that you drop everything when he calls?” he looked at me getting a little teary eyed. “Why is it that when he calls you leave the room? Hmm? What private conversation can’t Wooyoung hear?” he was getting upset.

“Wooyoung it’s not like that-” I started.

“Well then how is it y/n! Because it certainly seems like you two aren’t just friends!”

“Woo please listen to me.” I said my voice quivering a bit. “Please take a breath and listen.”

“Then start explaining…I thought it was me and only me.”

“It is!”

“I saw you together!!” he stood up angrily.

“He’s just my friend Wooyoung I swear nothing more!” I looked at him, my own tears blurring my vision. “Wooyoung I would never cheat on you I swear, please just listen to me!”

“So you can lie about-”

“Mama?” a small voice called out.

Fuck.

“S-Saja!” Seonghwa’s voice called out.

“Seonghwa?” Wooyoung looked over at his friends familiar voice. “What are you doing with a child?”

“Mama!” Saja threw herself into my arms hugging me tightly. “Hi!”

“H-Hi sweet pea.” I looked at her and moved her hair lightly, I could feel Wooyoung looking at the scene before him. “Wooyoung, this is Saja…my…daughter.”

“Daughter? Are you two-?”

“No! Wooyoung I’m just…I just babysit while you two go out.” Seonghwa looked at him.

“Is she yours?” Wooyoung looked at the child and then back to Seonghwa.

“No.” I said and held her closer. “She’s my ex’s…he left…Seonghwa just…he found out I had her and I needed someone to look after her because I really wanted to go out with you but I…” I felt like I could throw up.

“Wooyoung did…I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” Seonghwa looked at the younger male, anger burning behind his pupils.

Wooyoung looked between us grabbing his things.

“Wooyoung, don’t leave…you’ll regret it if you do.” Seonghwa warned the younger male. I covered Saja’s ears.

“Well what was he supposed to think Seonghwa…afterall I drop everything when you call, I go to you when I don’t know what to do, I call you late at night because she’s crying.” I shrugged. “I would think the same….Maybe I should go.” I moved to get up but Wooyoung stopped me before I could get further.

“No.” he looked at the blanket. “Don’t.”

“Saja why don’t you and Hwa go play.” I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

“Hwa Hwa!!! You It!” she got up and ran away.

Wooyoung sat back down and folded his hands together in front of me.

“Wooyoung I…This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” I looked away from him. “I promise there is nothing go on between us other than he’s my babysitter…I think of him as my older brother honestly. I have feelings for you and you only.”

He stayed quiet before nodding and looking over at Seonghwa and Saja playing.

“Why’d you lie y/n? About…her?”

“No one would hire a single mom…I needed the money before she got kicked out of preschool and we lost our apartment so I begged my mom to come help take care of her just until I had enough that I could come clean about it.”

“We have plenty of parents I don’t understand.” he looked at me.

“By the time I finally got to KQ I had been turned down so many times I-I-I panicked it was the only thing I could think of and I was desperate and they..you were all so kind and I-” tears rushed down my face. “And then you showed up and everyone else and then Seonghwa found out and I got scared and you kept asking me out and making me smile and…this isn’t how I wanted you to meet. I wanted you to meet her please.”

He stayed quiet and I wiped my face, before I knew it he brought me into him and rubbed my back.

“I really have made an ass out of myself haven’t I?” he whispered into my hair.

“I understand where you’re coming from though Woo really.” I held onto him.

“Tell me everything.” he asked

I told him our backstory, how my ex left, cheated, basically robbed me, how Hwa found out, I told him what I could and he listened.

“I’d really like to meet her if you let me.” he picked up my face and cupped my cheek. “I promise I’ll listen better.”

“Woo it’s not your fault, what were you supposed to think.”

“That my girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on me.” he squeezed me a little. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too…..I’d really like for you to meet her.” I looked at him. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” he brushed my hair back often like I do for Saja. “Some times…things work out differently than we want them to.”

“Are you still mad?” I asked.

“I’m still….trying to figure out why.” he sighed. “It makes sense but…I just…I.”

“You can be upset Wooyoung, its a big thing I hid from you.” I shied away from him.”Does it change how you feel about me?”

“I don’t know…maybe? I….I mean-” he looked up at me and I knew he could see it, the heartbreak on my face, I never was good at hiding it. “No baby I-”

“No…no it’s fine Wooyoung…” I moved off him. “I wouldn’t…” I stood up and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t feel the same about me either, it’s probably why I got rejected from everything else.” probably even why he left in the first place. “We’ll just go.”

“No baby, stay. We can have lunch, I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded.

“Mama? Can I has water?” Saja came over tired from playing.

“Here!” Wooyoung jumped up and opened a bottle for her. “I made all this food would you like a snack?”

She looked at me and I nodded and we sat back down only this time apart.

“Y/n.” Seonghwa looked at me.

“It’s nothing.” I turned away from both of them to pay attention to my daughter. “It’s just me and Saja.”

Seonghwa looked over at Wooyoung who looked down at the blanket and pushed food over to us before looking to Seonghwa and away again.

“Saja what do you say?”

“Gram…Sa…Ham…Mama what was it?” she looked at me. “Oh! Hamyida!”

“Good.” I chuckled and wiped her face. “We’ll get going now, thanks for running into us Seonghwa…It was nice to meet you.” I got up and helped Saja up before starting our walk home.

“Mommy?” Saja looked up at me.

“Yes sweet pea?” I stopped.

“Why you look sad?”

“Oh don’t worry angel, I’m okay. I just really thought it’d turn out different.”

“Like what?” she questioned. Every the curious two year old.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about Saja.” I picked her up.

“Can we play with Hwa Hwa tomorrow too?” she yawned.

“I’ll ask him later baby. Let’s get you home.”

I got her home, and of course, she was asleep on me when we walked in. I put her down and sat by her bed, I couldn’t stop the tears that came down my face. I thought everything would work out this time, I thought that maybe…maybe one day he’d be here too…maybe she’d go to sleep and we’d stay up and watch a movie together, maybe we’d play games, or have friends over, or…it was always too much to ask. Too much for me to be happy. Not even a text when I walked through the door. Was this really over?......I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday.

Monday came and went but my computer screen remained blank, I didn’t want to write a resignation letter it’s only been a few months but, I loved my job, I loved the guys, my friends….I loved him. I called in sick I just couldn’t see him, of course by now Seonghwa and Wooyoung had told CEO Kim who asked if there was anything he could do, if Saja was sick or anything. No. There was nothing anyone could do.

“Mama again!” Saja called out pointing to the finished episode of Paw Patrol. I replayed it for her and pulled myself into the chair more, staring at the blank document.

“Saja I’m going to the potty, don’t answer the door like usual ok?”

“Otay!” she smiled and sang along to the theme song.

I just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, something to get it out of my system.

“Hi!” I heard Saja yell from the living room.

“Saja? I told you-”

“Hwa Hwa!!!” she screamed and I ran out to see two men standing in my now open doorway.

“Sorry, I used the spare key.” Seonghwa flushed and spun Saja upside down.

“Why are you here?” I stood there wanting to grab my child from them.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded. “Please can we talk.”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. Please.”

I pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.

“Wooyoung you shouldn’t…you made it clear how you felt.” I looked away from him.

“No I didn’t because that wasn’t how I felt. That isn’t how I feel y/n.”

“Then how do you feel, because I think “I don’t know if they changed” after that means anything different but it-”

“It didn’t change how I felt okay! I…I panicked…I freaked out because I…You have a kid and sure I love little kids, I love Kyungmin, I love babysitting, and I love playing dress up and tag and…I really love them you know I do, but…it was scary. I no longer had to impress just you I’d have to impress your daughter, I’d have to figure out how to…be a good role model and…take care of her and I’m just a cool uncle or big brother I’ve never had to…be a parent.”

“You’re not her parent Wooyoung.” I crossed my arms. “And how do you think I’m going to feel! We Slept-” I quieted down. “You were the first person I’ve slept with since I had her and you just……..I’m her parent Wooyoung.”

“Yes but we’re dating, so that means I need to be there for her too, because you don’t just date the one person, that’s the most important person in your life I can’t just…I have to be a good example. None of it changed how I felt about you, after you two left I just wanted to do it all over again, I wanted to ask you on a picnic and play tag and push her on the swings and..please believe me y/n, I want to try again. I feel so stupid ok, I have real genuine feelings for you and I hurt you I know I did, I just…one more chance baby please. I’m sorry y/n please. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you just give me one chance to make it up to you.”

I sighed. “It’s not up to just me Woo….give me two seconds.” I walked back inside and he stayed in the hallway. “Saja?”

“Hi mommy!” she called out from the couch where she was giving Seonghwa a makeover. “Princess Hwa Hwa.” she smiled.

“Oh how lovely.” I smiled and looked at Hwa…I need a photo. “One photo so we can remember your masterpiece?”

“You can take ONE photo. Make it count.” Seonghwa looked at me and I took a photo of him and Saja.

“Saja honey?” I came down to her level. “Would you like to meet mommy’s friend from the other day? The one with all the food.”

“Yeah!” she smiled. “The one mommy likes!”

“Yes, the one mommy likes.” I smiled. “Come on.”

I carried her to the door and took a breath, everything was going to change once I opened this door.

“Ready!” she called out. Ok.

I opened the door half expecting Wooyoung to dart…thank god he was still there when I opened my eyes.

“Saja, this is Wooyoung.” I looked at him. “Wooyoung this is my daughter, Saja.”

“Hi!” she smiled and waved.

“Hello Saja.” he smiled back. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He pulled a flower out from behind his back.

“Where did you-?” I looked at him.

“Flower!” she smiled and took it. “Mommy likes a maggisin!”

“Would you like to come in for coffee.” I looked at him.

“I would love to.” he smiled

This was it, Wooyoung was entering my life, he was seeing the real me and my daughter. I set Saja down to go play with Seonghwa but she stayed and talked to Wooyoung, she showed him all the pictures she drew and all the things she did for pre-school, he smiled and listened the whole time. He helped with a snack since she was getting hungry and he even let her do his hair, and for once in the past 7 months I’ve known him, I could finally breathe. It felt as though a weight has been taken off my chest and I could actually let him see me, the real me. It felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Wooyoung is a wonderful partner, truly. Saja loves him, she’s started calling him every night before bed if he isn’t here to tuck her in, she likes to tell him about her day, he plans dates with all three of us and sometimes even just the two of us, the guys have slowly been introduced to her and they all claim to be her favorite uncle (we all know its Seonghwa). Wooyoung has been maybe slowly moving in slightly, his stuff appears more and more, and what do you know he’s usually attached to it, and now, almost a year later her birthday was coming up and I had no idea what to do.

“Okay I know it her birthday but I was thinking we could bring her to work and surprise the guys for a birthday party?” he rubbed my cheek, the soft sunlight drifting in for the morning.

“She would like it, especially if San and Hwa were there, and Mingi, she likes being tall.” I kissed the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” he said and looked at me fondly.

“For what?” I questioned.

“For everything. For being ignorant, and stupid. For-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for that.” I held his wrist gently.

“I told you I’m apologizing for it every day.” he kissed my nose.

“Good Morning!” Saja called out and climbed into the bed and on top of Wooyoung. “Wooyoungie!”

“Hi Princess good morning.” he smiled and kissed her head. “Did you sleep well?”

“From the looks of her bed head I’d say so.” I chuckled.

“Well I better get those pigtails back in before Hwa Hwa sees you then hmm?” Wooyoung lifted her up and got up to go to the bathroom with her.

“Woo?” he turned around. “It’s a great idea.” I smiled. He smiled back and nodded.

As I made breakfast Wooyoung made sure they got their morning ritual done, you always have to dance in the morning if you want your day to go well according to him. Saja likes spending time with him and frankly, this past year it’s been so nice to not feel like a single parent.

“Okay and 1,2,...3 and 4. Good! Okay Okay. shh shh.” Wooyoung spoke. “Eomma!!” he called out.

“Yes?” I peaked around the corner.

“Saja wants to show you something.” he smiled and nodded for her.

He started playing the music to Case 143, the chorus specifically and she looked like she was going to do it but then turned to Wooyoung and looked scared.

“I can’t” she whispered. He stopped the music and got down to her level.

“Hey hey what’s wrong princess?” he scooped her up.

“I can’t do it.” she sniffled.

“Of course you can.” he smiled. “You practiced hard with me while eomma was busy.”

“Too hard.” she looked away from him.

“I think she’s just nervous to do it alone Woo.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Do you want me to do it with you princess?” he pushed her hair back.

“Want Youngie do it too.” she whispered to him.

“Wooyoungie will do it too.” he nodded. “Okay? Together?” this time it was her turn to nod.

He started the music over and set her down.

She looked at him as they started and even though she was shy she saw him do it and knew he meant it when he said he’d do it with her. It gave her the boost she needed to do it too. Before my eyes here she was trying her best to dance along to Case 143 by Stray Kids and for an almost 3-year-old, she did a great job.

“Oh sweet pea that was amazing!!” I scooped her up and kissed her face. “Such a good dancer.” I smiled.

“Like Appa!” she smiled and pointed to Woo. I stumbled a little.

“O-Okay breakfast time.” Wooyoung clapped and took Saja and sat at the table to eat breakfast. “Baby? Come eat ok?”

“Y-Yeah.”

We’d talk about it…after breakfast.

“I’m sorry.” Wooyoung confessed. “She started calling me that last week when I was watching her when you had to stay late with Yunho and I didn’t correct it but she knew you would be scared if you heard and-”

“Is that what you want?” I looked at him. “Is this what you want? You know you can’t leave if she starts calling you that.”

“You are what I want y/n. Nothing else. Just this.” he nodded, I’ve never seen him look so serious. “I may be young and handsome, but I-I I can be a dad too.”

“Are you sure?” I held his hand and he gave me a firm squeeze.

“I’m sure.” he nodded.

“Of course you taught her how to dance.” I wiped my face and chuckled.

“She’s got quite a talent, I think she picked it up from her mom.” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere..in fact, I was waiting until her birthday but…Maybe it’s time I…move in?”

“And what else could you possibly bring over…You already live here.” I smiled and kissed him.

“I have some other things.” he chuckled and kissed me back.

“I love you Jung Wooyoung.” I smiled and held onto him.

“And I love you l/n f/n.” he smiled back and held my hips.

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I wake up in the arms of my loving boyfriend, sometimes with no clothes, and sometimes I wake up to the sight of my daughter getting ready for the day with her two favorite people, I see a smile on her face as her appa cries dropping her off for school, I see the joy on her face when the guys come over and San talks to her about her day, I see my daughter being surrounded by more love than I could ever ask for. Surrounded by her 7 uncles and her appa, better than I could’ve asked for.

Sometimes I wake up to the biggest smile I could ever see, more radiant than the sun, and I know this is all real. Wooyoung is real, and he’s here Forever.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #my writing #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader

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