#and I've never wanted someone to experience light so badly

[elise-the-blind]

So I’ve seen some artists show their idea of the next generation of Jak and Daxter aka the future kids Jak and his friends might have. Have you ever had thought about or drawn Jak and Keira kid and Tess x Dax kid?

ok, imma gonna have to admit something since this isn't the first times I've been asked this, but I actually have never made or had much interest in making fankids. I honestly dont know why I lack this brain chemical, with the amount of headcannons I come up with this should be right up my alley, but no.

But whatever, I'll think up as much as I can for this, just know that for my AU, its very unlikely these characters will be a part of any of it.

Damascus (son of Jak and Keira)

Named after Damas (because I think its funny). Grew up copying his dads constant scowl, but has never had an angry thought in his life. Took up his mums love of gadgets, focusing on precursor tech and will sneak around the monk temple for info (the monks are aware of this but dont mind, alittle confused on why he insists on sneaking in). Even though not mute he's still the least likely to speak out of all four. Was told a story about lurker sharks (probably told by Daxter) and now has a fear of the ocean.

Jak is very, VERY careful with what stories he tells his son and what lessons he might take from them and gives evil eyes to anyone who tries suggesting Damascus does the same hero stuff Jak did as a kid. Bro knows how badly all of that can go and does not want any of that for his son. A result of that is Damascus doesn't have a lot of experience with eco, only what he knows from Keira's family (green eco for first aid). He's only heard about light eco from the monks and he DEFINITELY doesn't know nadda about using dark eco. Damascus has only rarely seen the dark Jak, and always when he's in danger, so thinks of it just as "man my dad is so cool he can kick the butt of anyone that messes with me".

Has any of Jak's dark eco been passed on to Damascus? Something to ponder, I'm sure it wont affect him too badly.

The Triplets (Tess and Daxter's kids)

Cally (bow), Cash (piercings), Cade (gloves): They're the offspring of a sarcastic ego-filled furball and a gun manic bossbitch, you think any of them would be normal? no. All three are all different levels of shitshow, and are determined to make that everyone else's problem.

Cade is the honorary 'nerd' of the family, fixated on studying precursors and the worlds inner workings. Had an existential crisis at age 6 after thinking about whether or not they had any sort of human DNA from both their parents not being born an ottsel. He always follows Damascus around when he's snooping, making their own sworn oath of secrecy. Cade will sometimes ask his dad about dark eco which all of the time loops to "shit stings, stay out of it son." Once asked uncle Jak, got shut down real fast (bro you're giving your uncle Gol and Maia flashbacks pls stop he's too old for this).

Cash took the love of demolition from Tess and spends alot of time hanging around uncle Torn and aunt Ashelin learning about military mechanics and tactics used by the guard. She gets super hyped when hearing battle stories and sometimes pesters Damascus about anything his pa might have told him about metalheads. Because of the closeness Cash has with the leaders of Haven, she's one of the only kids that know in more detail about Jak's dark side and see's her uncle as a much more intimidating figure. She doesn't plan on telling Cade any of that despite his studies, she's alittle worried he'll get himself into trouble.

Cally got all the showboat center stage child energy from her dad, serving as the distraction for when the trio are doing crimes. Cally acts alot like 'Precursor Legacy' Daxter, always talking, always going for everyone's attention. Alot of that's an act of course, and Cally is often stuck running around making sure her siblings aren't caught in any mess or that the blame of any damage is shifted from them to someone else/her. Cally makes sure to involve Damascus in the chaos the three get into occasionally, even if he doesn't act interested. She once tired racing with Keira for the sake of fame, and while racing was dropped because of a fear of crashing, Cally is very skilled with vehicles and can speed across the city if she ever needs to get anywhere. She knows all secret paths in Haven and Spargus, if you're a target you will never get away, she will catch you.

Everyone takes part in keeping an eye on all of them (especially the triplets) but Sig makes sure that Damascus gets home safe each night, wouldn't want the past to repeat itself would we.

Pretty sure that's all I got. Maybe I'll do more with these guys if there's enough interest. Otherwise I'm back to comic stuff.

[respectthepetty]

Episode five and six of Happy of the End dealt with the aftermath of the death of Keito's Haoran's mother, so this Black Brooder is completely dark now.

He sits in the dark contemplating his life and how much he hates it.

And even though Chihiro brings light to his life (as well as food), Haoran remains dark.

However, Chihiro is the perfect person to lift Haoran out of this darkness because no matter how shitty Chihiro's life is, he continues to be colorful.

His family has disowned him. He gets fired from his job. Yet he is still light.

Kaji, who he considers a friend, is rude to him and belittles his relationship with Haoran, yet he stays light.

And that's why when he gets the slightest indication that Haoran needs his help, he quickly reaches out to him.

He takes Haoran from the dark into the light as they walk around the city from the night into the morning.

He gives him a gift, not only of warmth in his moment of coldness.

But also the gift of color.

And because of this one moment of warmth in Haoran's cold existence, this moment of light in Haoran's dark life, this moment of color in Haoran's black world, he believes he can die now. Is it because he has finally had a moment of joy? Is it because he thinks he will never experience it again?

It isn't clear, which isn't a problem because either way Haoran has settled into the idea that death is a suitable outcome, but Chihiro is more than willing to die right next to him, which is a problem.

Because Haoran doesn't want Chihiro to die. He doesn't want to dim Chihiro's light. He wants Chihiro to live.

And that's what gives Haoran the will to live.

Haoran isn't living for himself anymore because he isn't alone anymore.

He still has the darkness.

But he doesn't seem to be afraid of the light the way he was before. He tells Chihiro he likes him. He tells Kaji they are boyfriends.

He cries because he realizes he has something to lose, but that also means he has something worth keeping.

So even though his darkness pops up when he argues with Chihiro because he hasn't revealed his past,

Once Chihiro appears next to him in his confrontation with Maya, that color reemerges.

And he finally bares his soul and body to Chihiro and tells Chihiro how truly dark his past was.

And a shift happens.

For the first time since Haoran was a child, he is light.

Even as he is forced to run away from Maya again, he has someone to run with him. Even though his world is still dark, he sees the light.

So it's no surprise that Maya decides the easiest way to bring Haoran back into the darkness is to kill the light.

[angel-of-the-moons]

Khonshu NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

It depends on his mood, or how well you behaved

Sometimes, if he was too rough with you, he will take the time to clean you off, massage any tense muscles or, as cliche as it seems, tuck you in.

If you didn't behave... He might just leave you a trembling little mess, and crack a few stale jokes about how wobbly you were walking to the bathroom to clean yourself up ;)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his? It's difficult to say... but if he had to pick... his hands. They're so much larger than you, and the way you fall apart beneath them drives him insane.

His partner's body part? Your chest. Regardless of gender, it's always going to be the chest. The excited thrum of a beat, almost like a caged bird, all for him? Because of him?

Combine that with his hands and you're going to wind up naked and trembling beneath him, regardless if it's the first time of the night... or the tenth.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Sorry but the dude is fucking gigantic. The quantity is... a lot.

So much so you can never swallow all of it, or even fit all of it inside you. You almost always wind up wearing just as much that gets inside of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He has a fantasy of fucking you in front of someone who thought they could keep you for themselves. (Like an ex, or some prick who got too handsy at the bar)

Dude has fucked, I'm not gonna lie. Even in myth the dude has smashed. But just because he's his a dry spell that's lasted... a while thousands of years cough cough... Doesn't mean he don't know how to make your head spin and your legs give out.

He's... incentive, if nothing else. And willing to indulge in a few of your kinks, if you want to, even if you have to educate him on them,

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has two.

The first, is beneath him, his hands grasping your hips as he just fucks into you, feeling how slick and sweaty you can get beneath his hands.

The second, is you riding him. Whether he's laying down and looking up at you, or sitting up and holding you close... He loves it when you show him how badly you crave him, he loves how you can get haloed in the light of the moon, or any candles you may have lit.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Have you seen this mf? Serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

No hair, lmao

Bro technically doesn't even have a head.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Khonshu can be very romantic, if the setting is right. Like Aftercare, it depends on his mood.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before you, Khonshu never felt the urge.

But.... after? When you aren't available--or you aren't in the mood, or are being a shithead and tormenting him--he will indulge, imagining it is you sliding up and down his length instead of his hand.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink. I've said it before, I will say it a million more times. He is a god of fertility; he can't help but imagining knocking you up, creating a little life with you. Even if you don't have the corresponding anatomy to get pregnant.

Another one is, as much as he wants to try and fill you up entirely, he very much loves to cover you with his seed, or push any excess he can fit back inside of you with his thick, massive fingers.

Ngl, I feel like he's a tad bit of an exhibitionist. Or at the very least, he kind of likes it when you're at the risk of being caught, of watching you struggle to keep your voice down while he is unabashedly vocal about it to egg you on further. Even if he cast some sort of spell that nobody can see you anyway. The bastard is a tease ;)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Most of the time, somewhere private; or "romantic". Does this mean he will teleport you to some cliffside retreat, or forest haven to rail you in? Yes, absolutely.

But if you're not the type, Khonshu will definitely settle for your bed... Provided it's strong enough to bear the weight of a god in the throes of passion, anyway...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you're bratty, or being a tease.

Almost every time, it gets his blood boiling when you get lippy with him, or give salacious touches in passing; the man will want to fuck you until you see stars.

Another way, is if you're wearing something that he has given you. For example, say he gave you a necklace bearing his moon... if you lay yourself out in nothing but that necklace? Yeah, remember how I said you'd wanna make sure your bed can handle it? Because it's probably breaking tonight.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Will not do things like cut you, or permanently hurt you. Spanking, or some playful choking, yes. But he will not actually hurt you during sex. So don't ask.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Er... since my dude has a bird skull... I don't think giving oral is in the cards.

If he is using a human body, on the other hand? He will give oral like it is his life's purpose; like every drop of your sweet release was the finest wine.

Now, receiving on the other hand... Yes. Hell, yes. Whether your experienced or not, the way you struggle to take his cock into your mouth can make his head spin and his ego swell. It's like watching you worship him, in a lewd way; he'll pet your head to encourage you along, all the while teasing you:

"Struggling, little bird? Ah, you look so lovely like this, though..."

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on how you both feel, if the pace is mutual.

Sometimes he can be slow, sensual, taking slow, deep thrusts just to watch your eyes roll back...

Other times Khonshu will pin you down and just fuck into you like he will die if he doesn't.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not too fond of them, but he will indulge you if you need it. He prefers to have time alone with you, to unravel you like a divine gift.

Say you were on break from work, and stressed tf out... He will be down to finger you or fuck you nice and quick to take the edge off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Like I said... Khonshu is a bit of an exhibitionist. The thrill of someone catching you excited him mostly because of how tight you get when you think someone is about to catch you--how fast your heart beats and how hard you squirm.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He. Is. A god.

He isn't ready to stop until you have to tap out, or pass out.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own toys, but if you broach the subject, he will enjoy using them (on you) very much. May even conjure something special, made of gold ;)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

C'mon. You already know the answer to this one.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He will use typically an even, vocal tone if he is talking during the act; but if he want's to act like he wants to get caught? He will get loud.

As for grunts, moans, growls? Oh, his voice drops so low you can feel it in your bones--like a tiger's roar can trigger paralysis due to the infrasound--only this can send the most wonderful of thrills through your body

Extending the fucking you in front of someone fact, he also kind of wants to imagine him fucking you in front of the other gods, to prove how good it can feel to be so close to mortals.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

The old man is hung. I'm talking, like at least 12 inches hard. If you're a size queen/king, he will definitely coo at you and mention how well you're taking him.

If you're inexperienced, Khonshu will do whatever he can to make sure the act is pleasurable for you, too. Be it stretching you with his fingers first, or using his hands on you while he strokes himself off if you're hesitant to take him inside, he will always ensure comfort and no harm comes to you.

If you are still too scared to take him in his "true" form, in any human form he takes (I'm not talking about possession) his dick is around 7-8.5 inches. A bit of work, still, this is true; but it is far easier to manage than the orifice destroyer he's packing in his godly form.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

When it comes to you, it can fluctuate. But if you're being a tease and denying him, it can get pretty unbearable and the littlest action will make him wanna rail you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He's a god. He doesn't need to sleep lol

But he will slow his chest's rise and fall, hold you close so you can sleep snuggled next to him.

[obsolete-stars-if]

Shhh forget about the port,,, I have art

I've been having a lot of stress and subsequently migraines recently. Everyone say thanks to job hunting for my head angry.

(I am still learning to draw chubby ppl so please add some weight to TK in ur minds BCS my hands refused to draw them how I want to)

You can't see it but Gigi and Kate have stretch marks BCS they deserve to be hot and actually realistic. I have so many things to say about their looks and stuff lemme just break the post so it's not a wall of text.

SO in OS magic can influence how you look, things you like or want on your body can be added/changed over time. The best example is Mikhail, since we know they do not look like the rest of their family, but instead look like the General. The person who actually took care of Mikhail and he sees as his family.

Now, magic changes in appearance aren't limited to such cases like Mikhail. But rather basically anyone. It's not an instant overnight change, BCS u know. Your body has to physically change and adjust. And for those without magic, potions can be made, and smaller changes can be set into ur body with one two sessions. That would include hair color for example. Ofc it takes time BCS your hair has to grow out in the new color, but it's basically set rather quickly.

Now my fav part about this entire thing: it means that in OS there are no beauty standards. They cannot be established BCS nothing can be cherry picked and then gatekept. That also means that most of the cast (excluding Sammy and TK BCS they don't have magic nor were interested in it yet) look how they want to.

So things that are seen traditionally as flaws, stretch marks, lines from age, chubbiness, scars, etc. Are primarily on someone's body BCS they believe it to be beautiful on them.

Kate and Gigi love being chubby, like the stretch marks. Mikhail still adores all of his scars. Alia enjoys being small and aerodynamic. Sascha obv loves everything about his body. And while TK has their insecurities about their scars, they overwise like their body. And Sammy has never thought about not liking their body [outside of gender dysphoria, including TK].

And I care so much about that. If u ever feel like u hate ur body, and if it helps just a tiny bit. All of the RO think you're beautiful, regardless of what you dislike about your looks. They'd never reject nor think badly about your body, BCS even flaws are beautiful.

And you are beautiful, your smile and laugh lights the room, even if u have bad or crooked teeth. The hair on your body is beautiful, acne, moles and freckles are like small kisses on your skin. (my mother used to tell me that each freckle and mole is where an angel kissed me before sending me to earth.) Your eyes are beautiful, with or without glasses, even if you struggle with lazy eyes, or you don't like the color. Any scar on your body, self inflicted or not, is a sign of your survival, from a deep depressive state to tripping one day as a kid. The lines on your face are a reflection of your wisdom, of your emotions, the experiences you've had already. They show how much you've cried, laughed, loved, screamed.

If you struggle with body insecurities, know that all the RO know you're beautiful, and if fictional characters aren't enough, hell, I think you're beautiful.

[contemporarybaby]

Hi Annalise! What is your ABDL story?

How did you get into it? What were some of your firsts? Have you been open about this side of you with any partners?

hi! this is a super good question.

in 2011 there was an episode of the tlc show "my strange addiction" that featured a woman who was an adult baby. when i was a kid i was really big into the food network and tlc (which i hear is a universal experience among autistic, queer burnout kids, but i digress lol) and i vividly remember being absolutely captivated by the commercial for this episode, but also embarrassed by the fact that i wanted to watch it so badly.

naturally, i headed straight for the computer. i looked up something along the lines of "how do you act like a baby" and "is it normal to want to act like a baby if you're 12"...things like that. again, i remember being super embarrassed by all of this, but i just felt such an intense pull towards these things, and throughout the rest of my childhood and teenage years, whenever i was home alone i would rush to the computer to indulge in these fantasies. of course at the time (since i was like, 12 when i first discovered abdl) i didn't realize that it was a kink. i just thought it was a weird thing i wanted to do. but i also remember stumbling across this story on adisc about a young boy who was put back into diapers by his parents, because "if you're going to act like a baby, you're going to be treated like one" (a classic setup!). i read and reread this story so many times, but it was confusing because like...i didn't want my parents to do this to me. but i wanted someone to, and i couldn't quite figure that out. really though, the rest is history.

eventually, probably around the time i lost my virginity, i realized how much of a kink this really is for me (i desperately wanted to tell the guy i lost it to about it - i called him daddy and we definitely participated in some light ageplay in our relationship - but that ended so disastrously, at the end of the day im glad i didn't tell him).

i was 18 when i first tried wearing diapers, and i've been wearing on and off (i genuinely cannot even begin to tell you how many binge/purge cycles i have been through) ever since. and although i've dealt with so much shame and embarrassment around this kink, if im being honest here, as soon as i first felt a magic wand on a wet diaper...i knew i was fucking cooked.

to answer the second part of this question (sorry, i can feel myself rambling here!), i have never told any partners, or anyone i know irl, about this side of myself. this has been my deepest, darkest secret for well over a decade at this point, and the thought of telling someone is so much scarier to me than i could ever describe with words. i've thought about telling my therapist about it (she knows that i have a secret tumblr blog, but she doesn't know what kind of things i post), and i do think about telling my current partner about it, but the potential disappointment and rejection i could experience after telling him is more than enough to stop me from doing so. but who knows, maybe in a few months i'll be brave enough to!

[girlnadian]

ive spent a lot of time lately thinking about different hybrid combinations for kww and bunny ken specifically has stuck in my brain so bad. so... a very fast bunadian + foxfies to get it out of my system and yes i got weird about predator-prey dynamics in here ok. obviously

758 words // divider

Ken isn't scared of him, Wifies thinks one day. It's a surprising revelation, but not as surprising as the realization Wifies had been, unconsciously, operating under the idea that Ken should be scared of him.

It's not something Wifies consciously thinks about. He's not… a fox hybrid, really—his creator was. Everything in Wifies is there because it was programmed into him, carefully cultivated so he'd react in all the right ways and think all the right things. He shouldn't, logically, have any animalistic instincts. The ears on his head are there by happenstance. His coat changing color in the winter is something done meaninglessly. In contrast, Ken—at least to Wifies—seems like everything a rabbit should be. Quick in every regard and light on his feet, Ken knows when to engage and when to back off. Wifies has always admired that about him.

And yet– and yet– Ken huffs and drapes himself into Wifies' space after a long day; his long ears flop over Wifies' thighs as Ken settles his head in Wifies' lap, soft stomach turned up as he starts to prattle on about how disappointing all the rooms he looked at today were, really, Wifies, it's like they never learn—and Wifies feels his hand twitch and his throat tighten before he gathers himself. His fingers trace idle patterns on Ken's collarbone, just underneath his throat, and Ken doesn't so much as stutter. Wifies swallows thickly.

And there's the realization: Ken isn't scared of him, but Wifies thinks he should, maybe-wants him to be.

(Wifies remembers, vividly, the first time he'd seen a fox jump a rabbit. Not long after Ken found him, Ken had insisted Wifies load up a world and explore on his own. In a snowy taiga biome, Wifies had seen a white fox lunge, jaw snapping into the rabbit's neck until it ruined the snow under them with red streaks. He wondered if he wanted anything badly enough that he would sink his teeth into it. At the time he could only think of one name. If he thought about it now—even with all his gained knowledge and experiences—he would come to the same conclusion.)

"Wifies?"

Wifies blinks. Ken frowns—he must've asked a question while Wifies was lost in thought.

"Sorry," Wifies offers. "What was that?"

Ken frowns harder. They lift their arms, thin fingers finding Wifies' jaw and squeezing. Wifies thinks about the blood, so close to the surface of Ken's wrists. He thinks about how easy it would be to turn his head and snap.

"You look like you want to eat me," Ken says. "What are you thinking?"

I was thinking about eating you. Wifies isn't going to say that.

"Nothing, sorry," is what he lands on. Unconvincingly, given the way Ken's foot thumps against the arm of the couch, so Wifies amends, "It's just been a while since I've seen you."

It's true enough that Ken's expression smooths out. Wifies removes his claws from the vicinity of Ken's heart and cards them through Ken's hair, instead.

Except Ken never stops blindsiding him. "I wouldn't mind if you ate me."

Wifies' hand falters at the same time as his breath. "Ken."

"I'm serious!" Ken sounds almost offended, the way he does when he thinks up a good plan and gets questioned on it. Wifies' protesting groan is ignored; Ken continues, "If someone is going to, I'd want it to be you. It's kind of flattering."

Ken has shifted onto their side now, fingers drumming along Wifies' hip in thought. "I don't think I'd make it easy for you, though. Everyone thinks rabbits are cute and dumb, but you don't think that, right? You think I'm cute and smart."

Wifies isn't hiding his reaction well—he knows he isn't, because Ken's head tilts and his ears flop, clearly pleased. Maybe Wifies was right. If Ken is going to say things like that, then he should be scared of Wifies.

"Not in the house," Wifies decides. There's no real point arguing if Ken wants to play out the hypothetical. Ken makes a questioning little noise. Wifies says, "I'd want it to be in the snow."

"The snow," Ken repeats. "We could do that."

"Hypothetically," Wifies says, a bit weakly. Ken laughs.

"Hypothetically."

And maybe it doesn't matter, this realization. Maybe whether or not Ken should be scared of him doesn't matter. If Wifies has really felt this way since the taiga, then nothing has changed—he's been devoted to Ken in the same way since they met. How different can trust and hunger be, anyway?

[avatar-anna]

Diamonds

pausing our regularly scheduled program with a luke hemmings blurb bc i love him and his solo music and i'm sad i couldn't go to any of his shows 😔 i'll get back to harry soon, but i'll take inspo wherever i can rn. enjoy!

"The next one we're gonna play for you is one of the most vulnerable songs I've ever written," Luke said, mouth pressed up against the microphone. The shimmer you helped spread over the lids of his eyes practically glowed under the blue lights that lit the stage. You thought he looked ethereal, the very embodiment of the music he was performing tonight.

"When I was putting together the final tracklist for this album," Luke continued, "I was hesitant to add this song because I was afraid that it was too vulnerable, but I was convinced that it was worth sharing, that the emotions and experiences behind this song would reach those who needed to hear it the most.

"The person who convinced me, and played a crucial part of making this record, is here tonight, and to them, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't and making me brave enough to truly face my demons. You pulled me out of the deep end when it felt like I was drowning, and I would be a completely different person than I am today without you. I love you. My heart and soul is yours to keep."

Cheers were heard throughout the venue as the opening chords began. As Luke started to sing, you were thankful that you decided to watch the concert from backstage, unable to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones, starve myself 'til I'm skin and bone, I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be."

He said that often. My heart and soul is yours to keep. Yours to keep safe, was what he meant. It had taken him a long time to open up to you and trust your ability to be a good partner, so him saying that his heart was yours was huge. He trusted you that much not to break his heart, to never let him sink back into old habits and bitter thoughts. That level of trust meant everything to you.

In his little speech, Luke thanked you for being the one to convince him to release the song, which was true in a way. He'd been conflicted about the song at first, not ready to share such a dark period of his life so publicly. The song had originally been just a way to express himself, to put everything he'd been through on paper without ever letting it see the light of day.

Luke had shared what the song was about, had opened up to you just what had made him feel that way in the past—toxic relationships, poor decisions that led to even worse habits, hurting the people closest to him, all of his mistakes. He didn't hide any of it from you, and you took all of those misgivings, all of those past mistakes, and showed him that you loved him anyway.

"How far is far? Are we too deep in? How dark is dark? I need to see it."

It wasn't easy at first. When you met, Luke wasn't in a place where he could give himself to anyone emotionally. He believed that he was too damaged to be loved the way he deserved and that he was better off being alone and unhurt than trying to fall in love again and risk being completely ruined by someone he thought he could trust. He had been more closed off than anyone you'd ever met, but all of it just made you want to show him what love without conditions looked like. And he couldn't fathom why. Luke was never rude to you about it. He never snapped at you or pushed you away or treated you badly to make a point, he just truly believed that he wasn't worth your time.

*.*

You were at his house, hanging out as friends. Only this time you surprised him by bringing him flowers.

Luke had been completely dumbfounded, unsure of your intentions. You told him it was just to brighten up his home a little, and because you liked doing nice things for the people you cared about. He didn't question you much further, but the rest of the time you were together, you caught him staring at the bouquet that stood in the vase you'd placed them in. His gaze had been wary and apprehensive each time, and you finally told him the truth.

"I want to take you on a date," you said simply.

Luke seemed surprised, which led to a conversation that was perhaps a step below an argument, but only because you calmly listened to Luke and evaded his tactics to push you away with ease.

"I—I don't deserve you," he finally said, but his voice was heavy with emotion, like he desperately didn't want it to be true.

"Who decides what we do and don't deserve, Luke?" you said to him, resting your hand over his and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles gently. To your surprise, he didn't pull away.

"I'm not good enough for you," he amended.

With a close-lipped smile, you leaned over from your spot on his couch and placed your thumb between his brows, smoothing the furrow there. "I think you think you're a worse person than you are."

You kissed his brow, your touch just enough for him to feel your lips brush his skin. When you pulled back, you tapped his nose with your knuckle. "I won't push you, and I won't try to fix you," you said, because the truth was, you didn't believe he needed fixing. But you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him of that. Not now, anyway. "But I will tell you this: you are a remarkable person, and when you're ready, I'd love to love you one day."

*.*

"I'm on my way out, losing the dream. I feel it crash down, down on me. Caught in the madness, holding on me. Is this the way it will always be?"

It took some time, but Luke eventually believed what you did from the day you met him. You were there to see him through the thick of it, holding his hand when he needed you to and giving him space when he asked. He'd gone off to write for a little while, and when he came back, you could practically see the weight lift from his shoulders. It was as if he'd left his biggest demons at the cabin he'd been staying in.

And now he was at his own solo concert performing the songs that held the deepest secrets of his heart. Luke sang each word with passion and pride, the kind that came from knowing that he'd overcome the darkness that had held him for so long. He wasn't drowning anymore, but he sang his songs so that his fans could see that it was possible to be in a dark place and come out of it.

The song faded to its end, and Luke bowed before the crowd as they cheered. He held his hands together in front of his face, the appreciation written in his features abundantly clear. You watched him survey the crowd with so much pride you thought you were going to burst, but you ended up just shedding a couple more tears instead.

While fans were still cheering and his band was playing chords that would lead into the next song, Luke jogged to the side of the stage where you were standing. You hadn't expected him to come over to you, but when you saw his face, you knew what he needed.

Your arms opened for him just in time as he wrapped himself around you. He held onto you tight, his face buried in your hair as he lifted you off the ground. You held on just as fiercely, hoping it would sufficiently express just how much you loved him.

Time stopped as Luke held you in his arms. He had a whole crowd waiting for him to sing the next song, but neither of you seemed worried about getting him back onstage. When he finally set you back down, you kissed his cheek a couple times before kissing him properly, your hands on either side of his face.

"Okay, okay, no more of that," you said, when he kept trying to follow your lips as you pulled away from him, wanting just one more kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now go. Everyone's waiting for you."

Luke began to turn like he was going to do just as you said, but before he walked away, he spun on his heel and caught you in one last kiss. Satisfied by your tinged cheeks, he grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mean the world to me, darlin.'"

Hearing him say that made you melt every single time, and he knew that. Shoving his shoulder playfully toward the stage, you said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go be a rockstar, will you? You're keeping everyone waiting. Myself included."

Luke finally turned around for real and did just that.

[chaosandorder46]

Master fic list

I decided it was time to make a master list. 🤷‍♀️

Witcher

Tissaia/Yennefer centric

1. I’m OK, You’re OK (6108 words; uni AU)- Tissaia's anxiety is not under control. Yennefer totally gets it, and Triss is a therapist, because of course, she is.

2. And Then There Were Three (26,290 words; domestic fluff)-Tissaia and Yennefer are happily married, and want a child to complete their family. The process won't be easy, but they have each other and their ride or die friend group. Some fluff, some angst, and shenanigans arise on their journey.

3. Self Control (1,149 words; fluff and smut)- Dr. Tissaia de Vries has legendary self control. Unless Yennefer of Vengerberg is in the room.

4. Come to my Office, Please (3,123 words; Eventual smut)-A private message gets sent to the entire group and puts a series of events into action.

5. Stars Fell on Aretuza (1,210 words; hurt/comfort)-It's the first Ascension Ball since the Thanedd Coup, and the first in decades not coordinated by Tissaia de Vries.

6. You Mistake the Stars (31,647 words; whump)- Yennefer saw Vilgefortz as a way to get off of the pig farm, but ended up in a worse situation. When she casts an errant portal and ends up on the Isle of Thanedd, she meets a cast of characters that will change her life.

7. Such a Good Turkey (2,606 words, crack fic)- It's close to Thanksiving on The Continent and no one has any chill.

8. I Might Love You More than Coffee (46,484 words; fluff)- Yennefer is intrigued by a mysterious new regular at her coffee shop, The Lodge. I'm no barista, so I'm relying on my extensive coffee consumption experience for the details on this one.

9. Le Tits Now! (3,939 words; crack fic)-It's the holiday season and everyone is in various states of festiveness. Shenanigans to follow...

10. And I Swear My Breath Turned Silver the Day Your Hair Did (4,942 words; angst with a happy ending)-I've never really written a real fix it for the Thanedd Coup before. I pretty much just ignore it by writing modern AUs or insinuate that everything turned out ok.

This is a somewhat canon compliant (until it's not) fix it for the Thanedd Coup fall out. I've had it in progress for a while and seem to be having trouble working on my other fic until this one is done.

11. What’s Lost is not Lost…Keep Looking! (1,380 words; crack fic)-Ciri's beloved stuffy is missing. Tissaia and Yen are ready to go all Liam Neeson from Taken, but the answer may be closer than they think.

12. Now the Air I Tasted and Breathed (Has Taken a Turn) (WIP; angst with a happy ending)-Ok, so....remember the musical episode of Grey's Anatomy (Song beneath the song)? Um...this is the Witcher version of that. Kind of, though (in my imagination) the characters aren't singing, it's just a montage of scenes with the song playing. If you aren't familiar with Black by Pearl Jam, listening is a good pre-reading activity. :)

13. How did we get THIS way? (3,933 words; crack treated seriously) - An alternate version of Rinde if Tissaia had shown up a bit later. OR...Tissaia de Vries accidentally crashes an orgy.

14. Nothing Sweeter Than a Bitter Cup of Coffee (13,681 words; light angst and crack)-More coffee shop shenanigans ensue when Rita shares some news with Tissaia.

15. More Indelible than Ink (WIP, fluff)- Tissaia is the proprietor of deVries Ink and Paper Shop and leads a very quiet, normal life...that is until a stunning raven-haired tattoo artist walks into her store.

Sabrina/Triss centric

1. The Kids are Alright (5,399 words; mutual pining)-Sabrina breaks her arm badly teaching novices non-magical self defense. Rita and Triss help her and Triss uses her chaos. The healer becomes the patient and Rita is sick of their shit.

2. Downtime (1,034 words, PWP?)- Sabrina's office has a network downtime and she needs something (or someone) to do.

3. What We Lost at Sodden (8,858 words; hurt/comfort)- This is another Sodden Hill story with a focus on Sabrina and Rita's experiences. I feel like Sabrina was too OK, too soon after Sodden, and I would love to have seen more of Rita's experience being charged with holding down the fort, knowing her friends were fighting for, and losing their lives.

4. The Things I Regret (2,036 words; hurt/comfort)- Written on the the one year anniversary of my mom's death. We had a very complicated relationship and I've been surprised at how I've felt since she died, vs. how I thought I would feel. I also had lunch recently with a friend who has gone no-contact with her mother due to her refusal to acknowledge her childhood trauma. These human experiences are always so interesting to me...if a bit painful. So, why not write about it? 😁

So, once again poor Sabrina gets to be a stand in for therapy. I mainly chose her because of her conduit moment, we know she has some issues there. 😁

5. Put Out the Fire in Your Head and Lay With Me Tonight (2,226 words; fluff and smut)-Sabrina is exhausted and stressed. Triss helps her relax. This is all fluff with a little bit of smut and nearly no plot. Just like I like to write. 😈😍

6. Burnout (10,501 words; hurt/comfort)-Sabrina is burnt out and coping as only Sabrina can, which is to say, not at all.

7. Aretuza (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair) (1,465 words; tooth rotting fluff)- This is a snapshot of an Aretuza where they all live happily ever after, even if the novices are a bit ...incapable.

8. The world was on fire (and no one could save me but you) (22,760 words; angst with a happy ending)-IMO, this is the angstiest thing I've written, so be warned. None of the major characters die (I could never) but there is some death.

9. The 14th on the Hill (8,985 words; angst with a happy ending)-Another spin on Sodden, but this one pulls from book lore as well as Netflix lore and HCs.

Group shenanigans

1. Icks (1,116 words; crack fic)-Tissaia learns a new term. Everyone shares an ick in their relationship.

2. Triss’s Greenhouse (429 words; crack fic) -Tissaia needs to relax and Triss has something for that.

3. Beige Flags (770 words; crack fic)-Tissaia is slowly learning tik tok. She needs an explanation of beige flags.

4. Another Fic Where Triss is Stoned, but with Pokemon (965 words; crack fic)- This is a crack fic, but based on a real life conversation. No need to take this seriously. :) This is based on a video game called pal world That is essentially a rip off of pokémon... And they have guns.

5. Hanging Around (5,593 words, crack treated seriously)- Ok. I was inadvertently sent on a side quest to tell an important, and very serious story. It is based on the delightful video below which gave me several much needed laughs. This is set in the AUMC universe where Tissaia is a pathologist, Yennefer and Rita work in the hospitals PR department, Triss is a nurse and married to Sabrina, who manages the lab. The slides in question are stained blood and bone marrow which are used to microscopically diagnose blood disorders, such as leukemia. I think that is all the pre-reading needed.🤭

6. After Sodden (29,044 words; modern AU; slow burn?)- Ciri is an environmental activist, but accidentally commits a bit of eco-terrorism. She's now a fugitive and turns to Yennefer for help.This was inspired by a Tumblr prompt...I have taken a LOT of creative liberties here. (Read: I don't follow instructions well).

Wheel of Time

• I (Critically) Care A Lot (7,677 words; Hospital AU)- Moraine and Siuan have a tense working relationship. Or do they?

• You’re Going to Make Me…Late (8,493 words; hospital AU)-Siuan applies for a new job.

• I’d walk to the depths of a world down below (and demand to get back what some circumstance stole) (1,867 words; crack)-Siuan is dead, like...dead dead. And Moiraine has to go to The Underworld to get her back.

[l0relaii]

"oh, don't worry about that darlin; we'll make it fit.. but i don't think you're ready for that yet.." Oh I need to read about the moment it FITS.....

OH MY GOD ANON I LOVE YOU I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST THIS

i originally wrote that as "but i need to get you ready first" but i changed it last moment and i'm SOO GLAD I DID

this is set after part 1 part 3 and part 4

i've had some glasses of wine before writing this so it has a bit of angst but don't worry whores, the smut is still there 😋😋

you've been together with mike for some time now

we already know about your little experience when you've surprised the shit out of him with your little tricks

he never thought you'd do any of that on your own accord without any instruction from him

he's ain't complainin' tho 👀

one day you're just hanging out with him at his place, sitting beside him on the couch while watching a movie with your head on his shoulder.. and your whole body wrapped around him like a fucking koala bear on a tree branch

he can feel you shifting nervously, something's definitely on your mind and he needs wants to find out what's making you so restless

besides.. your whole shifting is making him kinda.. hard..

he wouldn't mind you showing him some more of what you learned from porn and nasty stories from your friends

you're so overwhelmed by the thought of finally doing IT with him and you just blurt out

"i think i'm ready"

"huh? the movie's not even over and you wanna leave hun?"

"no, not that.. you know.."

he turns his head to you so he can look into your eyes pretending to think about it for a second

but the only thing he can focus on is his cock twitching in his sweatpants

"hmm.. nope, no i don't think i do.. care to elaborate a little?"

you can feel your cheeks heating up while you bite your lip

"oh c'mon.. you know.. i'm ready to.. feel you.."

"well- you're kinda feeling me right now aren't you?"

he says as he eyes up your position wrapped around his body

"no!! not like that, jesus.. feel you.. like.. inside.. fuck- goddammit mike, i'm ready to make love to you ALL the way"

"oh, why didn't you say so?"

ohhh you wanna make love to him, yeah that makes sense. easy peasy, yeah definitely.. he can do that, right?

wait what did you just say?!

it takes him some time to process your lewd announcement that seems so innocent at first

oh how he wants to rip your clothes off right then and there on the damn couch and fuck you senseless

but you deserve more than that. your first time should be something more.. romantic. something nice, real nice for you, you deserve it

"wait a sec.. are you sure?"

"uhm, yeah i guess i am"

"you guess?"

"no, i KNOW i'm ready"

"now you're talkin'.. well.. we gotta make you ready first, right?"

he ate you out. (if ya want me to elaborate on that too send me an ask pls PLS🌝)

if you wanted a first time, he gave you one, just not the first time he fucked you. it should be enough to satisfy you until he's prepared for THE first time

he thinks about it. a lot. a lot more than he'd care to admit.

what should he do? go all the way out with rose petals and candles, maybe some champagne?

he contemplates everything. it's consuming him so much he's always thinking about it especially even when he's around you

and he becomes kinda distant. not because he wants to. god if he could he would crawl under your skin

it's just that he knows what you're expecting from him, and he knows you're ready, he trusts you, of course he does

he doesn't trust himself. what if he messes up? what if it turns out so badly you'll leave him?

you wouldn't do that.. right?... RIGHT?!

jesus why is he so worried about it? he never cared about any of this shit with any woman

but you're not any woman.

you begin to think you scared him a little with your request. why else would he be avoiding you?

so you decide to confront him about it

his heart skips a beat when he sees his phone screen lighting up seeing that you're calling him

"hey.. can i come over?"

"hi babe, uh- yeah, sure"

he fucked up. he knows he did. he thinks you're gonna break up with him the second you come through that door and he's so angry. not at you, but at himself

he's so occupied with pacing nervously around the room he doesn't even notice you knocking and entering his apartment

"am i really that bad?"

"what? what do you mean??"

"i mean.. ARGH jesus fucking christ mike, must i spell everything out for you? am i that bad that you don't want to fuck me?!"

"wait, what-? why would you think that darling?"

"oh i don't know, maybe because you've been avoiding me like the plague since i told you that i was ready?"

"jeez babe, no, fuck no, it's just hard for me-"

"what? is it that hard to want to have sex with me? just because i'm not another one of your sluts and maybe don't know how to please you at times you'll leave me? seriously?! gosh you're such a fucking jerk, d'you know that?!"

"wait a goddamn second i need to explai-"

"OH MY GOD.. is this why you've been avoiding me?? are you with some fucking whore behind my back?! FUCK and to think that i actually- i loved you, d'you know that, huh?"

you feel tears threatening to escape your eyes so you turn around refusing to let him see how much you're actually hurting for him

"would you shut the fuck up for a second and let me say something? wait- you what?"

"i loved you, mike, and i still do- unfortunately"

he grabs your shoulder and turns you around so he can get a clear look at you.

then he sees them. the tears staining your pretty cheeks.

he feels so guilty for making you cry, for avoiding you all this time while he was thinking how to make your first time with him as enjoyable as possible

in the process he forgot how to make ALL the times with you enjoyable, sexual or not

"i love you too sweet girl.."

"you do?"

"of course i do, i just- i've been so caught up thinking about.. what you asked me, i wanted to have a special moment with you, i guess i just-"

"oh mike.. i would've enjoyed it either way, special or not special, as long as it's with you it doesn't matter"

he doesn't respond. he just closes the gap between you two with a sloppy kiss. his hands come down above your thighs giving you a light squeeze urging you to jump

so you do. and he's there to catch you when your legs wrap around his waist not breaking the kiss

he walks with you to his bedroom and gently places you onto his mattress

he breaks the kiss looking at you with a pleading look

"mike, please- i.. i want you"

"i want you too baby, fuck- you have no idea how much i waited and thought about this"

your clothes are rapidly stripped from both your bodies and he's all over you, the only time he distances himself from you is to fetch a condom from his nightstand

you grab it from his hand and open it while maintaining eye contact with him, looking for his approval to wrap it around his leaking cock

once he's ready he brings a hand between your legs noticing how wet you are

"let's get you ready darlin'.."

"no mike please, i can take it please- fuck i need you inside"

"you sure?"

"fuck yeah i am"

he gives you a little smirk before positioning himself at you entrance and sliding up and down your slick folds to gather up your wetness on his cock before entering you slowly

he holds your hand comforting and praising you with every inch you take

"god you're doing so good for me babe.. so tight and warm.. suuuch a good girl.. you're doing so well darling.. "

once he's fully inside you he remains completely still, letting you adjust to his length

"you can move.."

you feel him pulsing inside you when sliding almost completely out and thrusting back in with a groan

"fuck you feel so good.."

you're so overwhelmed by everything. your previous argument, him making it up to you like this, being so close and connected to the man you've grown to love so much and who loves you as well

you can't stop squirming under him and squeezing around his cock

he sets a slow yet deep pace connecting his lips with you once again and sliding a hand to your puffy clit

you feel his hips stutter and a warmth inside you. he came inside the condom. but he doesn't stop his thrusting until he feels you squeezing him and your nails scratching at his back

"oh fuck, jeez, usually it's a lot longer i just- it's all so.. different with you.. i can't get enough of you baby.."

you can't help but smile at him while he collapses on top of you and starts littering soft kisses all over your body

oh my god i think this is the longest thing i've ever written. drunk me is so proud of it. idk abt sober me tho 🤷‍♀️

[baejax-the-great]

Archive-locking the fics that YOU WROTE and are thus 100% yours to decide what to do with 'hurting people' is so silly tbh. Skill issue on their part. Wish those people could be normal about the amazing fics that writers like you put out & be understanding or at the very least respectful of the choices that writers make about how and where they make their fics available. Especially in light of recent ai training theft and nonsense & all that.

I hope this doesn't sour the fic writing & sharing experience for you too much. I love your writing & think you're very talented & skilled!

There seem to be dual attitudes I'm coming up against recently (and obviously these are not held by everyone, I don't even know that they are held by a majority, but they are certainly held by a plurality).

The first is that authors should be grateful that readers deign to read what they put out there. I think this stems from the "content creation" mentality and the idea that everyone who posts things wants as massive as an audience as possible (for monetization purposes which... isn't a thing in fanfic). I think this mindset also leads to readers demanding that people write specific tropes/pairings/whatever, or threatening basically to take their business elsewhere. "Nobody will read unless you do [X]." 1. Not true and 2. Okay, you weren't my audience.

(I also think authors circulating those posts about how badly they want comments/kudos feeds this mentality of readers doing authors a favor by even clicking on the fic. "Wow, if people are so desperate for attention, then mine must be worth an awful lot!")

Fanfic ain't a business, and I write for myself. Readers choosing to read my work isn't a privilege or an honor they are bestowing upon me (nor are comments for that matter), just as me posting my writing where they can see it isn't a privilege or an honor for them. We are both engaging in hobbies and a love of some media, and sometimes we will overlap and connect and sometimes we won't. Readers aren't reading out of altruism for attention-starved authors, and authors aren't writing out of altruism for content-hungry readers.

And there are those who will read these paragraphs above and think to themselves "wow, what an ungrateful author," and that's exactly the attitude I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, it's delightful and rewarding to receive comments on fics and chat with people about Blorbo and the Situations. But it should be delightful from both sides of the exchange, or why the hell are we doing this? If I'm meant to be grateful for every commenter who jumps into my inbox, then every commenter in my inbox better be grateful for me, and I can tell you right now there is a population who is not. There is a population who sees me as a service provider for their entertainment, and whatever form I take in their brain, it is not shaped like a full person.

This attitude also leads to people thinking that things like lorefm are no big deal. Don't I want to get my work in front of more eyeballs (or ears)? Don't I want to broaden my audience? And once I put my work out there for readers to see, should I be shocked (or express any negative emotions at all) when someone plagiarizes/scrapes it for AI/demands updates rudely/reads it on a monetized youtube channel/binds it and sells it for profit?

The other idea I've been coming up against is almost the opposite of this--that because some readers form attachments to fic, deleting that fic (or even archive-locking it!) is actively harming those readers. Sure, they can't be bothered to hit the download button or get an AO3 account, but that's no reason not to think of these strangers first before doing what I want with my creative output.

Yall, life is ephemeral. There are things we will see and enjoy and never find again for one reason or another, and it's not harm being done to us, it's just the nature of existence. Having an emotional reaction to something does not give you any sort of ownership over that thing. Artists are allowed to change their minds about whether they want that art in the wild, particularly given that it's free. Maybe it's because I utilize the library a lot, but reading a book and then losing access to that book is not a crime against you, it's just a normal thing that happens. If you read something and it means that much to you, there are ways to avoid losing it (download it).

Seeing this particular attitude extend out to "not making your fic available for as many people to read as possible is harming them" is beyond bizarre. If I woke up tomorrow and deleted everything I have ever written, there would still be thousands upon thousands upon thousands of beautiful, emotional, meaningful fics out there for people to read. They would lack for nothing. Would some people be upset? Probably. Would I be hurting them? No, not really.

Sometimes people have negative emotions because of our actions, but that doesn't mean we did anything to them. This is one of those times.

Lastly, this AI and everything else bullshit really has taken a toll on my enthusiasm for posting my work. It's one thing for companies to try to pillage every thought, every word, every stroke of a pen or paintbrush to enrich themselves while actively making the planet an unbearable and inhospitable place to live, it's another when fellow fans are telling you that "Whelp that's just life, what did you expect, give us your content anyway or you're a bad person and if you complain, then I'll be taking my business elsewhere, you sensitive, entitled creative, lol."

[t4llhum4n]

So. It's time to fulfill my promise about Porter lmao.

Theory (and spoilers for Vincent and Sam's playlists as well as Sam's bonus scene) will be below the cut.

Well, at least we know now that he isn't Hush's brother.

In all seriousness though, I had no idea how to approach a theory about this guy that hasn't already been shouted from the rooftops on tumblr. So, I started with the bonus scene, and upon relistening, I heard something that I found.. odd.

Why, and how, was Porter the one texting Sam?

Everyone that I've seen is talking about Vincent and Porter's history (which is something I ended up doing too whoops), so with this, I want to theorize about Sam and Porter's (potential) history. Bear with me, I kind of lost interest in the Solaire's storylines in light of things like the Balance and Carpe Deus, so I might mess some things up lmao.

I've seen, and agree with, the "Porter is Alexis' progeny" theory, at least at its basic level. I do think that Porter was potentially turned by Alexis, hence the "Solaire," but I'm wondering if his situation wasn't closer Sam's than we originally thought. Let me cook real quick.

We don't know how old Porter is. We don't know when Porter was turned. Hell, we don't even know if this guy was empowered or not (different can of worms, I'm putting that aside). All we have is that he uses the last name "Solaire" and that he has Sam's contact information. Admittedly, we don't know much about Alexis past her age, but for the sake of this theory, that's all we really need.

If Alexis has been a vampire for over fifty years, and Sam has been a vampire for under twenty, then that leaves a little over thirty years where Alexis' could've been fucking around and finding out. The thing that people (including myself) tend to forget when thinking about Sam's turning is that Alexis knew how to do it. Sure, it was done to her by William, but we know from the timeline that she was badly injured when she was turned, so she probably didn't learn it just from that first instance. Furthermore, considering that she has been described as "difficult" and "a hellion" along with the fact that she was apparently so awful that William swore he'd never turn another person again, I'm guessing that she didn't study up on vampires and how they work.

So, what else is there? Hands-on experience; the best teacher. Enter, Porter. I'm not going to give an estimate of his age beyond "older than Sam," because an exact number doesn't really matter for this. I am, however, going to do what I do best, and point out parallels that I've noticed. Namely, the parallels between Fred and "Bright Eyes'" turning, and Sam's own experience with turning.

Time for a quick run-down for those who aren't too familiar with the Fred/"Bright Eyes" storyline! Basically, Quinn leaves both Fred and "Bright" on the brink of death. Sam sees Fred, turns him to save his life, and then tells Fred how to turn other people so he can save "Bright," which he does. From there, Sam takes on both vampires as his own, seeing as Fred is too inexperienced with, well, everything, to be a proper Maker. He teaches them for a couple of years, and then lets them go off on their own once he thinks they're ready. And at the end of it all, Fred decides to take Sam's last name.

Cool, great recap, but why am I bringing it up? Well, let's look over to Sam's story real quick. He was turned, though against his will, by Alexis, someone who we can infer isn't responsible enough to be a proper Maker. We know that once William caught wind of the full situation, he took matters into his own hands, separated the two, and set Sam up in a cabin on his own, as per his request. Knowing William, he most likely offered more help, but knowing Sam, he probably declined, and opted to live alone comfortably on the edge of the territory. In both situations, we have someone who can't or isn't a good Maker, and said vampire's Maker taking responsibility for their progeny's progeny.

What if this isn't William's first rodeo with caring for one of Alexis' progeny? What if Porter was one of Alexis' first progeny, with circumstances being similar to that of Sam's turning, and William took him under his wing? The difference this time, though, is that Porter accepted William's offer of more help. Now, this could be because William heard about Porter's situation sooner after it happened, or that Porter was unempowered and had no clue about anything -- either way, this next claim stands. What if Porter took the name "Solaire" from William, not Alexis?

If this is true, it would explain two things; 1) why Porter has Sam's number, and 2) why Porter and Vincent were at odds. The first reason is kind of self-explanatory. If Porter heard about what happened with Sam and Alexis via someone else in the clan and he empathized with it, then he probably would've reached out to offer support. What became of him reaching out could be a number of things, but it ended with the two of them exchanging contact information, and that's why Porter has Sam's number.

Now, on to the rockier claim. Let's start with this: I'm going to say that Porter is older than Vincent. If we run with the assumption that what I said earlier about William and Porter's relationship is true, Porter would've seen William as his true Maker, despite William not being the one to turn him. So, when Vincent gets turned, and William starts devoting his time to him, we can assume that Porter might get a little jealous. And that jealousy grew over time, especially because Vincent kept refusing the help that William was offering. He had the privilege of actually having a good and competent Maker, and he was spitting in his face? If what I theorized about Porter's past is true, then it's natural that that would irk him.

He kept it under wraps, though, and it got easier to tolerate Vincent; especially when he put his pride away and stopped being so difficult. But part of him was always stewing with jealousy. Now, I'm not saying that jealousy is the only reason why Porter and Vincent got into a fight that almost resulted in their deaths. I think that there was something that initiated it. Maybe it was something one of them said or did to the other -- I'm not sure. That being said, whatever it was brought all that jealousy to a head, and that's why they fought.

I don't know though! And I'm more than open to other interpretations. I have a few floater thoughts if we look at Porter in a more sinister light (e.g. Alexis and Porter are close and he got the number from her right before he sent the text), but I hadn't seen anyone make him out to be more sympathetic yet, so I decided to go that route! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a theory, and as always, if you notice any plotholes or have any evidence that contradicts this, please let me know :)

[tales-from-syscord]

Around 3-5 years ago (number left vague for identity reasons) was when we began to see ourselves in a different light and see how we were a system. Almost immediately after I began questioning, someone started telling me what I was and wasn't, and encouraged us to join a system server. To this day, this is one of the only 2 system servers we've ever joined.

The server wasn't bad overall, but during that time I was confused heavily on who I was and wasn't, who we had and who we didn't, what it meant to be a system and all that. I was a bit younger so I just took this information in and ate it up. We are a heavily fictive-based system, even back around that time, but this server did not treat them well at all.

There was constant source-comparing and biased, backhanded comments, there were people questioning if these alters were real and if they were "sure" that's who they were, etcetc. One of the server mods had an alter who was a goddess, whom unfortunately can't remember the name or origin of, but I know that she was very rude and demanding. One of my alters didn't like her attitude and started trolling, and she began demanding that he know his place and bow to her, and she banned us when he said no.

That was our first system server experience several years ago, and it resulted in me trying to deny that I was a system altogether. I tried to surpress it and push it down because I wanted so badly to be "normal", but that ended up only making it worse in the long run. Now we're slowly identifying ourselves and even have even begun getting professional psychiatric help, as best as we can in our area at least.

I will never forget how very rude that alter was to us, especially not after we found out about 2 months later that the person in question wasn't a system and was trying to BECOME one instead. I don't have a lot of system friends (probably only 2-3) but the things I've heard about them and their experiences is crazy. Syscord is a scary place, especially considering that's the most tame story,,,

Can I claim 🌸?

Well. Um. We are extremely glad your getting professional as much as you can however WOW That was a wild story and a horrible one at the same time

Sure you can claim it!

[lilcupio]

AroAce Playlist of songs in Spanish

Clarification: I know that these songs were not created to be aroace, but this is MY OWN PERSONAL INTERPRETATION, MINE, FROM ME AND ONLY ME.

And yes, I am a hopeless romantic (and cupioromantic), so my AroAce experience is somewhat pessimistic??? ig

Let's go with the playlist:

The arromantic song par excellence. Simple and direct.

1.- Abducida por formar una pareja | TRONCO.

"When I think of the way you talk

Of Menorca, of the weather and of your cat,

I imagine I make you a proposal

And I ask you if you'd like to be my boyfriend.

But no, because I don't want boyfriends

Or girlfriends or anything else susceptible.

To be lied to, to be convinced.

To be abducted to form a couple"

2.- Enamorado tuyo | El Cuarteto de Nos.

Ah~ the endless debate about what the true meaning of this song is. Some say it's a love song, others say it's about denial. The good thing about ambiguous meaning is that you can play with the words as you wish, and for me, this song is lit me.

"If you think that I feel love

Please don't make regret

Don't comment with your people

About our affair.

Hardly anyone ever says

That I'm in love with you"

3.- Desechable | Mon Laferte.

The lyrics of this song reflect an internal struggle. When I first discovered my arromanticism, it was hard for me to accept it. I wanted so badly to experience falling in love and being loved differently, I wanted to be and have that special person in my life. If I can't be special to someone else, then I will always be one of the crowd.

"I'm just one more, just a maybe

Something disposable, expendable.

I'm just another number, just another piece.

I am irremediable, invisible.

Behind my shield there is skin.

Behind the bitter there is honey.

You will see that there is light behind the black shadow"

4.- Primavera | El Cuarteto de Nos.

An Aro Allosexual song, LET'S GOOOOO

The story is simple, a man thinks he's in love, but realizes he's just horny. I especially love the spring metaphor; I like how it tries to hide the horniness under a layer of romanticism and fake poetry.

"It's summer and I'm hot, but I thought it was

Because of my sudden outbreak of love, in the middle of spring.

Your laughter, in my distraction, made me think it was spring.

Your laughter, in my distraction, made me think it was spring.

It's autumn but deep inside, I still think it was

For the fact that I'm horny, full springtime.

Your laughter, in my distraction, make me think it's spring.

Your laughter, in my distraction, made me think it was spring"

5.- Bailando solo | Los Bunkers.

Yep, a song that talks about loneliness, I have nothing more to say.

"Dancing alone in the dark

You'll get used to it

To watching all of life go by.

Like a promise at dusk,

You can dissolve

On the edge of a crystal glass.

Now that you're here

And the future hides from you

You've already scratched the floor

And the walls of your room"

6.- Paramar | Los Prisioneros.

The lyrics suggest that to love requires a series of sacrifices that distort the essence of the person. There is nothing more arromantic than feeling uncomfortable in a relationship, that you are not really being yourself, you are only forcing to act as society says you should.

"Love, love, where did I hear that word before?

I redid my schedule for you

And buy more calendars.

Passed me a 3 dimensional video,

With a happy ending.

I tried to inject myself with my old optimism,

But that one that turned out

Was still me, ready to love.

I never thought that just this winter, Would be the coldest I've ever seen.

I'm no good for love"

7.- Sexo | Los Prisioneros.

This song is a critique of the hypersexualization of society and the use of sex to get the attention of the masses. It also talks about the pressure to be sexually active and how sex is needed in order to be an “adult”. Pretty ace to me.

"There's nothing to blush about,

It's everywhere, you see.

Now virginity

Is a medieval thing.

It's your maturity card,

Your passport to adulthood.

She is not a woman to love

But an enemy to be subdued"

8.- Estar solo | Los Prisioneros.

Can you tell I love Los Prisioneros? They are one of the most important Latin rock bands for a reason.

I remember being 17 years old, going to school and seeing my friends with their boyfriends, coming home and watching my parents kissing, turning on the TV and find a romantic movie. In those days, when I was not in my best mood, all I could do was lock myself in my room and listen to this song with swollen eyes. This song represents the ultimate expression of my internalized aphobia. Although I have now accepted my identity and sexuality, this remains one of the songs I have identified with the most in my life.

"Something that is always there.

Something that is neither lie nor truth.

Bad habits, bad destiny.

A single path

That I can never deny.

There's something wrong inside of me

A kind of program with an error,

A tendency, a demand.

Many differences

That I can never deny.

To be alone.

To be alone.

The months go by, the years come together

And everything doesn't matter.

The fantasies, the movie scenes,

Have a bad ending.

I'm fine I feel fine

But this is too big a planet to be alone.

To be alone.

To be alone.

I'm fine I feel fine

But it's too big a planet to be alone.

To be alone... there's something wrong inside of me.

To be alone... something that's neither true nor false.

To be alone... bad habits, bad destiny."

PD: I'm sorry if there is a bad translation or some parts are difficult to understand :c

[rainbowsky]

cpfs are getting a Lot of hate rn bc of the banners at the airport

thoughts?

What are my thoughts? 🙃

I think people should stay in their own damn lane, both the solos who are whining about what turtles are doing, and the turtles who are whining about what the solos think/say about turtles.

And if you're talking about Twitter, where some turtles are falling all over each other bitch other turtles out the loudest and seem the most blameless... the same applies. Keep Twitter toxicity where it belongs. Don't bring it here. Most of us are here to get away from that garbage.

As for the light banners, it's pretty convenient for solos to continually say that turtles should only bring green to events. They hate BXG, so of course they're going to want to eliminate our fandom color from any event. But the idea that we should show up in solo colors is absurd and totally offensive.

I have said this before, turtles have absolutely every right to show their support to GG and DD. They have absolutely every right to show their colors at events. The problem isn't the colors, it's fan behavior that can be a problem. People showing fandom colors should behave in ways that present the fandom in a positive light.

As far as I could see, the people crowding DD and his team out at the airport were not wearing any fandom color, and were just individuals making bad choices (many could quite possibly have been shishengs, paps and daipai such as those who did similar at the airport when GG was leaving for Europe). The fans tend to be well-behaved. It's those others who are unscrupulous and will do anything for a shot.

Even still, when it comes to fans behaving badly - those are their mistakes to make. I'm not going to get invested in their behavior beyond being concerned for DD and his comfort/safety. Frankly his security should have been better provided for in that situation, even if it was to call ahead and get a team there for when he landed to ensure things didn't get out of hand.

People who think that turtles showing up in green would stop us from being attacked or would prevent fan wars are deluding themselves. Motos would just move on to the next complaint - the content of the banners, the dolls, or 'shipping', or whatever other issues they have with turtles - until turtles were basically motos and the world was indistinguishable from a world without turtles.

Solos continually try to stamp out any positive fan support turtles show. They even do it with the charitable works that are done in Boxiao's name. Catering to motos won't get anyone anywhere. Of course we should not go to war, but we also should not be afraid to exist and show our support.

LIVE AND LET LIVE. There's never any excuse for fighting and arguing. I also feel there's never any need to berate other fans in lengthy threads such as the ones I've seen on Twitter over the past couple of days. It's just sanctimonious posturing. Are the actual people complained about even reading the post? Unlikely.

And this is something I see in fandom all the time and that I have a whole other rant about in another post in my drafts... people making a huge scene and stirring up a lot of drama around something they think someone else is doing, and then pointing to that same drama they just brought and saying "See! Look at all the drama that person is causing!"

If fans don't want drama about these things then they should just stop bringing it. Block and ignore, and report when appropriate. The world becomes very peaceful when we curate our online experience.

If people find the behavior of others so troubling they should just cut it out of their lives in the exact same way.

I would like to remind any solos who freak out about turtles and our behavior, there are only two people on the planet with the power to shut turtles down, and those boys have remained remarkably silent about us, and if anything have continued to feed us. Solos should reflect on that, sit down and be humble.

[luckyshotwrites]

Ch. 85 // Idiocy // Day 59

Contents (Warnings): Lynette starts her training (slight angst, vore mentions, character and monster info as always). Read full chapter on A03

Wordcount: 2,138 (Sorry, I've been busy with some irl problems and new puppy!)

Song I correlate to this Chapter: Not found yet!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Nov. 25th, Friday)

Lynette

We were still off for Thanksgiving 'weekend'. Work resumed tomorrow, Saturday. So, Wicks took it upon himself to stage our training today.

That's why I was a bouncy, nervous wreck. I never used a weapon to fight someone before. 

I also wasn't thrilled to see Garter coming along. Not because I disliked him, I liked Garter, but I didn't want more people to witness my incompetence.

I don't want them laughing at me later. 

Knife? Wicks hadn't mentioned what the weapon was until now. I can't imagine a stab wound would do anything against them. They could use reversal magic and then crush me into dust.

A hand gently caressed my back, rubbing it firm and reassuringly. It jostled my sweater. "It'll be fine. We are going over the basics today. You need to learn how to handle a knife."

I didn't like the idea of being made into a tub of protein powder.

Lev. My mind whirled back to the blender incident. I knew I'd be fine, physically, yet it was an experience I never wanted again.

The umber-skinned male popped up to meet us. He always wore a cheery smile, "If you do good today, we can get ice cream too."

It's a very tempting incentive. I had to act like it wasn't—Wicks remained on standby. He waited to joke with me about being excited for some ice cream. 

I held it back. "That sounds lovely."

"You're trying too hard, Lentils." Wicks whispered to me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I raised my chin and crossed my arms. 

"And if you fail today, no ice cream," Garter said. 

"What!"

Wicks pulled his arm back, "Yep. You even have to watch us eat it."

Garter pulled back when the elevator dinged for our floor. "Good idea, Boss. We get ice cream regardless. I like it."

"That's not fair," I whimpered. How can they be so cruel? 

Wicks stepped out first. The elevator itself already looked to be of a higher class with the mirrors behind us and the sheer size, capacity, and trim. However, the inside of the building itself felt eerily imposing. Everything looked to be made from wood, polished and gleaming with an invitation I didn't ask for.

The space felt so vast I imagined it'd fit at least two Naga's comfortably, plus I could see there were several halls that looked to branch in different directions as if they were at the center of a maze.

And worst of all, it was quiet. I didn't hear much coming from any direction, except a light tapping that I couldn't see the owner of.

Another subject that made little sense, despite the ornate details done to the walls and grand arches above, there are no chairs, tables or artwork. Nothing.

I barely took a few steps outside, before Garter threw his head in front of me. "Don't worry, I can sneak you some ice cream if you do badly."

He's sweet. 

"Thanks," I whispered back. 

The mystery behind the tapping was solved.

Garter and I moved out of the way for the thin, stalky male, much like Garter, to scramble forward. He went straight for the elevator. I ducked under the long rolls of papers.

They look like building schematics. Is this place new?

"Oh, sorry!" Their voice left in a timid croak. He flipped back to face us—he huffed, and his short chestnut locks spurred out as rushed as he was. 

"You okay, Zetsu?" Wicks put a hand on my arm and pulled me closer, unconsciously. 

He nodded, then heard the elevator door closing, and blocked it with his foot and body. It made his papers fall from his arms and onto the ground. "Ah!" Garter got the door for him while Wicks and I helped clean up. 

"I'm sorry my head has been spinning lately." I piled a few scrolls into his arms.

Wicks loaded the last scroll, "I also thought you were leading us to our block today?"

His loose smile dropped, "Yes! Good thing you caught me, ha, ha..." he let his head fall to the side. He muttered more apologies under his breath. "You're in block D, and the training weapons are out. I just got called upstairs." He bowed his head, "Thank you, Wicks, and..."

He stopped his bow. His vibrant violet eyes, which reminded me of Zilla and Zane's, inspected every inch of me. I felt like they picked at every detail of me. 

"I don't think we've met?"

"She's a new recruit," Wicks said. 

I was told to pretend Wicks and I didn't know each other and I was a rank, classless.

"Well, hello, I'm Zetsûboooooooo," he attempted to put his hand out to me and almost dropped them all again. I threw my hands against him to help keep them in place. He fixed his grip. "Thank you, and call me Zetsu for short."

"I'm Lynette, nice to meet you, Zetsu." I shared a smile, "No handshakes are necessary. You worry about getting to where you got to go with all of those intact."

As I said that, the elevator door Garter was holding open beeped. 

Zetsu threw himself back into it so it could close. "Okay! Thank you, and nice to meet you too, Lynette!" The door closed after.

"Is he a friend of yours too?" I asked Wicks.

"Kinda..." Wicks shifted his gaze. Garter pulled back from the elevator in toe. 

"Did something happen?" I asked, absentmindedly tugging at his hoodie. Is he dangerous? He seemed fine? I'm not the best judge of character, am I? My head scrolled back to Claudia. I would have never known...

Wicks peered down and gently put his hand on mine. "I'll tell you later." 

Garter walked ahead of us, leading. I released his hoodie. Should I be worried? Did I meet some kind of terrible beast? Why would Wicks not want to talk about it now? Were they something to him before.

My eyes widened, and I gasped, "was that the person you were dating? IT wasn't a LIE!"

Wicks stopped in his tracks. He flicked his head to me immediately, utterly confused.

Garter quickly got to us. He used my head as an armrest and encroached upon Wicks's face. "YOU WERE DATING SOMEONE?!" 

The anxious befuddlement grew on my brother's face. "What are you..." he trailed off. Put his lips together to keep his mouth shut and backed up. 

"You were lying to me!" I exclaimed. Garter was still using my head as a rest. 

He yelled out, putting his hands over his face. "I'M SORRY! I couldn't think of anything else to say that might sound plausible! I couldn't tell you the truth yet."

The fingers he tangled with his hair pulled more strands out, and it fell over his face.

His best friend finally let me move freely. "You shouldn't lie about a bond mate if you're embarrassed. I'm without one, but I carry it with pride." 

"It wasn't for that, Garter!" Wicks pushed himself ahead. "No more talking about this, especially not in the halls. Let's get your training started." 

...

Wicks

I can't hurt her. He didn't realize how hard it would be to simply grab Lynette out of things. 

He constantly hesitated and retreated from any slash she did.

Thus, he called a break so she could keep going over the feel, weight, and motions he taught her. 

"What's the matter, Boss?" Garter questioned. His friend loved getting up close and personal with people and to make himself their "height". Every time you do that, I feel smaller...

"What did I say about-" Wicks cut himself off and exhaled. He wouldn't argue about the 'boss' nickname today. He pressed his back further into the wall. "I'm so afraid I might hurt her."

Garter looked over at Lynette, who had her back to them. She was determined, to say the least, even though her form was subpar at best. Especially when she stood before Wicks or Garter with the training weapon. Her hands shook like a chihuahua outside in a thunderstorm. 

"You put a cloak on her; she'll be fine." Garter gave two thumbs up as reassurance. 

"yeah." Wicks bit the bottom of his lip. I would never go that hard on her, but I don't know why I keep imagining it. "I don't know."

Garter stood up straight. He tilted his head to stare at the high ceiling. Then, a bright grin peeled open his lips, his very subtle incisors were shown. "Let me take over. I'll gladly train her!"

What?! "Garter-"

He didn't even let Wicks rebuttal. 

The tall lad made his way across the grounds and to Lynette. "Hey Lynette, I will be your training partner today instead of Wicks!"

Wicks glanced back and forth between her and Garter. She looks tiny. 

The Oni of the mountains waved both of his hands at him when he saw Wicks's concern. "It'll be fine, boss—I'll go super easy on her! Trust me!"

Lynette peered at her big brother. He wouldn't dare... Garter had a track record of hunting smaller prey. They got most of those urges out with training, yet he still falls victim to it occasionally.

The only reason I even brought Garter was because I promised him we'd get some training in today. "Sounds good." Wicks shouted back. He said it for Lynette's nerves and gave the go ahead to Garter. I'll trust him.

Wicks thought, though he intently watched every motion Garter made. 

So far, his best friend didn't purposefully try to break the cloak; instead, Garter never gave her a chance to strike him. He'd quickly grab her out of a strike, pin her down, disarm her, or hold her arms up so she couldn't attack him.

He's just bullying her. 

Wicks sighed, he undid his ponytail entirely. He pet at his straighter hair. He gathered a few things so far. I should start training her in basic combat too. If she knows how to properly move and hit someone, she'd be more effect with a knife. She's relying on the strikes too much.

Garters tease echoed out in the empty, magic enfused steel room, "Do you like getting caught?"

"No!" Lynette whimpered with slight frustration. "I just never fought anyone before!"

Garter returned her knife after he poked her stomach with it, "Weird. Where I came from, you learn to fight as soon as you can walk." He waited for her to get back into a stance. He did the same. "How about I call you what we do to those who haven't learned to fight yet."

"An insult?"

He snickered, "a ginkoose, which translates to a child with newborn strength." 

Lynette shook her head in protest, "It's not my fault you guys are stronger than me—you guys are monsters."  

"In human cases, most monsters aren't much stronger or faster than humans." Garter laughed and pounced at Lynette, "So you're using excuses~!"

Lynette avoided him and continued to do so. Garter gave chase. It's going better than I thought it would. 

And, of course, as soon as Wicks thought that, he noticed Garter's black hair shifting white and flaring with volume.

Wicks pushed off the wall and ran at them, specifically for Garter. "HEY, GARTER, STOP, DON'T YOU DARE!" He couldn't let his friend try and eat Lynette.

Wicks got to Lynette, yanked her out of the way and took the force of Garter's hand as his case broke. He slammed back into the wall, it wasn't that hard, so at least Wicks knew Garter didn't lose all sense of, 'being gentle'.

Once the Oni realized his mistake, now standing at thirty or so feet tall, his four arms out and one pinning Wicks to the metal wall, he let out a nervous chuckle from between his giant fangs.

"I went a little overboard huh?"

"You think?" Wicks asked with an eyebrow raise.

"Are you okay?" Lynette got closer.

Wicks shot her a glare, warning her not too.

Garter didn't let his grip go, "does this technically mean I win since I trapped you?" His best friend said, "and if it does that mean I can eat you?"

A dastardly laugh broke out of Wicks vocal cords, he stared at Garter, "you're in direct contact with a magus, I'm not unconscious nor even trying to use any magic. Then, after trying to get my sister, you have the audacity to ask me if you can eat me?"

"Yes?" Garter said, plainly.

There was a long pause before Wicks noticed the seriousness on Garter's face, accompanied by the innocent puppy dog eyes. Wicks flailed his legs, "YOU AREN'T GOING TO CONVINCE ME, NOW PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I MAKE A SNACK OUT OF YOUR ENERGY!"

...

Hey, you, thank you so much for reading. I'm glad I put out a story that people can enjoy! I hope you continue to enjoy it as WE have a LOT more to go! YOU BETTER KEEP PROSPERING! (Nonnegotiable, as always~).

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Catch up, see some maps/art, or check the latest release dates down below  ↓ ↓ ↓ 

What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)

[nuclearjacks]

13, 15, 23 for ask game 👀

13. A character or ship you haven’t drawn/written for yet but would like to someday?

MegaRod 100%. They're one of my favorite ships in the TF fandom but god I can't believe I've never made content for them ;-;

I have one spicy wip that's been laying around in my folders since 2022, and was going to make a comic for a zine I had to drop out of with hints of MegaRod but it's all stuff I never got around to or never finished. I need to fix that in the future >:)

They are my beloveds who are such beautiful mirrors of one another, on top of I relate so heavily with their characters for one reason or another so they mean a lot to me <3

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

Absolutely! It's much easier to notice the changes over a larger amount of time like my art now vs my 2021 art. You can see the drastic change in my lineart and especially with my shape work and how saturated my colors are now pictured below vvv

But there's definitely still some changes I've been noticing here and there in the past year, much more subtle and much more gradual. I've been improving on my speed and simplification of designs into my style, especially with Transformers. And I've also been getting a lot better with backgrounds/actually adding backgrounds in now bdavbdkvb not to mention, experimenting with lighting and learning about things like sub-surface scattering, reflective lighting, ambient lighting and a whole bunch of pretty overwhelming concepts tbh sdbksdbv

This year so far has mostly been a lot of experimenting and much more experimenting to come and I'm excited to see what my style evolves into next : )

23. Has your favourite character/ship changed over time?

Probably more my understanding of my favorite characters and ships.

I still ADORE MegOp and the mix of tragedy, pining and fluff it is but my understanding and interpretation of their characters has changed drastically from when I first entered this fandom at 18, now 23.

There were definitely influences from my anime fandom days where I thought "Orion is so baby and is a precious cinnamon roll who couldn't hurt a fly, lookit how smol he is with his big beefy warrior boyfriend who protecs him" to "Orion is a capable character who, while naive about the world, could be just as smart as Megatronus and in doing so created a whole other faction that inadvertently worked alongside a corrupt political system that Megatronus was trying to deconsruct" (Also not hating on anyone who still likes character interpretations like the first, it's just not my thing that much anymore personally kjbdvksbv)

I still like the concept of big beefy warrior boyfriend protecting his small librarian (cause c'mon that's just fun ksdbvksdb), but I merge it with my larger understanding of the classism themes, alongside the inherent religious themes of Optimus becoming a Prime that I'm such a bitch for kdbsdkjbv

Same goes for Rodimus in MTMTE. He went from "Haha he's just like me fr, lookit this ADHD baby who can't focus for a second haha he always forgets paperwork and has never done wrong I don't see how someone can hate him" to "Rodimus has done so much wrong and that's what makes him an insanely relatable character. People hate him because he's genuinely fucked up so bad and placed blame on everyone but himself because he wants so badly to be the hero of the story instead of the person everyone sees as the 'fuck up'. The fact he keeps trying to live up to a title that's bullshit and to a person (Optimus) who doubts himself every second of the day and doesn't see how fucked his own lineage actually is because the person he looks up to most is hiding things just like him and has fucked up just like he has, as has every other prime before him. But damn it, he's going to try and do better this time, he has to. Also he's so ADHD-coded it's not even funny."

Tldr: I merge the simpler concepts I loved when I was younger with the more complex concepts I love now that I'm older to create a nuanced narrative of the characters and their relationships while being a self indulgent fangirl skbgsbbihuft