#and I'm too invested so I might actually end up doing something with it

[rei-ismyname]

Uncanny X-Men #8 review - Raid on Graymalkin finale

Raid on Graymalkin has been a strange event in a lot of ways. It happened very early after an editorial and creative team change, it's only four issues spread over 2 books, and perhaps most of all, editorial both spoiled the ending and hyped up an ideological divide between Rogue and Cyclops. The big question is 'was the hype paid off?' Sadly, no - Uncanny #8 doesn't so much land the plane as crash it into a mountain. A plane crash can be a spectacle though, let's break it down. At the very least it looks great. This is a long one, so strap in.

We get to know Scurvy a little better.

X-Men #9 ended with both teams in Scurvy/ Philip's psychic thrall and Charles Xavier taking the stage after Kurt and Kwannon freed him. Uncanny #8 opens with his POV of his recent history, showing a 'Not All Mutants' mutant and how he ended up in an abusive relationship with a right wing podcast host. Well, it shows how they met, how his powers work, and how Warden Ellis has used him.

His powers aging him drastically explains why he's reluctant to go all out and perhaps how his powers helped an Infowars knock off to get this job. YMMV on whether this makes him sympathetic; it's certainly a 180 from the plain pathetic he has been portrayed as thus far. We spend a lot of time with him this issue, but it's all so vague I don't feel like we actually know all that much about him. He is portrayed as a victim, though he's also in the process of frying our heroes' brains and enslaving people. On the other hand, we get so little of his motivations and feelings that there's not much there. Villains/antagonists need to be developed to be interesting, and I'm not sure if Scurvy is a victim of Ellis' crusade or a self hating mutant who gave 'everything to a dream' for ... reasons. He's literally killing himself and it'd be good to know why.

Scurvy has been hyped as a Psychic on par with Xavier, something Xavier himself hasn't exactly confirmed but he has admitted Scurvy is an obstacle. They haven't met but Scurvy's been aware of Xavier, presumably because he's world famous and announced Krakoa to everyone on the planet. Scurvy suggests it's more than that - he and Charles are part of a group of five mutants called Avians, one of whom died - Harvey X. Chuck has had an oversized presence in Simone's Uncanny X-Men and another vague mystery about him takes up space that could be used to develop other characters - The Outliers, Jubilee, Nightcrawler. This 'Avian' business feels like The Twelve and other similar half baked plots, and how can Charles have a tumour if he's in a relatively new body? He died last in Inferno AFAIK, but more than that it feels unnecessary. I'm not invested in believing or disbelieving it, though Chuck dying might make X-Manhunt more interesting.

Chuck isn't showing up again until March, and Scurvy ages 10 years during this issue. Why are we spending all this time on these people that aren't main characters? Does Xavier really need to be part of some special unexplained group? He's been a very special and prominent part of the X-Men since 1963 - new old girlfriends and vague hints of specialness feel like mystery box overkill. Maybe Scurvy is lying as part of their psychic battle. Laws of narrative economy suggest otherwise, but either way - what's the point? Also, Avians? Are they birds? Maybe it's a Shi'Ar thing but right now it sounds ridiculous. Avians 🙄

Juggernaut knocks Rogue out of Scurvy's control and she thinks she has time to do the same to one other person. She apologises to Gambit for not choosing him and picks Cyke as the tactical choice, nearly knocking his head off. He snaps out of it too and shit gets bizarre.

For some reason Scott chooses this moment to berate Rogue for 'bringing kids into a war zone' which is a super valid point but I find it difficult to believe he'd bring it up while they're on the back foot and threats are everywhere. Rogue's answer is even more puzzling. I can believe she'd make an appeal to emotion but it's not a real answer. 'At least we don't have Magneto on our team' is not a rebuttal to nearly getting children killed, but it also does not make sense.

Magneto has been reformed for YEARS at this point and was a driving force behind Krakoa. She's saying like he's some irredeemable villain when he's the most heroic he's ever been. He and Rogue had zero interaction on Krakoa, where he was considered a national hero and famously was very tight with her hero Xavier. If she has an issue with the sins that came to light after Inferno, then she wouldn't be so charitable to Chuck, either. Maybe it's Scurvy's influence, but if so then what's the point? This isn't ideology, it's dodging the question at worst or petty bickering at best. Has Rogue forgotten her extensive history with Magneto, or her own start as a villain? What about her husband's involvement in the Mutant Massacre or her parents' unrepentant villainy? When considered in the context of Simone saying that Rogue and Cyclops would occupy the Xavier/Magneto relationship it looks like a missed shot. You'd have to ignore decades of history to make it work. Sigh, this was an unforced error and it really bums me out.

'I'm never going to be you and you're never going to be Professor X' is flat out weird. Cyclops answer of 'good' is consistent with his argument last issue, but it makes it look like they're not having the same conversation. Finally they realise they're in a war zone and only now does Rogue defer to Cyclops. Oookayyy. They say 'Magik and Wolverine' together in a moment that's both cheesy as hell and should underline their commonalities. I'm almost feel bad ragging on this, but it's not executed well. At least Rogue is consistently characterised as a cowboy. That's something.

Magik and Wolverine start freeing people then stop to agree not to kill each other. Deathdream says weird stuff, as usual, and the two make up. Jitter has her second instance of love heart emoji'ing a woman, which is cute but still deniable as actual WLW representation. I hope Simone cashes this cheque.

Queerness should be something that's not notable in a perfect world, just a part of the character. We don't live in a perfect world though, and we don't know a lot about Jitter. We know her powers, that she's Malay Singaporean, that she has a stutter, and that she possibly likes women. It's not enough for issue #8 of the flagship series. The choice was made to heavily focus on Xavier and Sarah Gaunt, and a casualty of that was getting to know main characters. It wouldn't be such a big deal if the payoff was worth it, but what did we actually learn? Instead of giving readers a break from Charles Xavier, he's been a regular presence. His appearance in this event could have been more impactful but I feel like we never had a chance to miss him.

Kwannon and Kurt reveal that Scurvy made them fight, which Rogue is aware of, and she adds that 'we're broken.' I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean, but this undermines the stakes of the ideological conflict. Is it manufactured or isn't it? None of them consider attacking Scurvy while he's fighting Xavier, either. Nobody is acting like they're in danger. It feels unserious, like the characters are just waiting for things to happen to them.

At this point I don't really care who Inmate X is. Uncanny X-Men has been dropping these mystery boxes that readers can only guess at, and like with Harvey X being the one pulling strings, it comes out of nowhere. It's another Avian, which means nothing to us beyond a vague implication of specialness. We know that Ellis considers it a bad thing if he get out of his cell, but that doesn't narrow it down aside from it being a he.

Aw, cripes - popular gen Z saying

Interestingly, Xavier's astral form is that of his Cerebro-helmeted onesie twink. It could reveal that he hasn't changed at all in how he sees himself and his role as shepherd of mutantkind. It's very different from his classic astral battle appearance, and I love it thematically and visually. Scurvy and Chuck as astral giants towering over the schoolprison is striking, though the casualness of their dialogue mutes it somewhat.

Not sure how Ezra or Ellis can tell Scurvy is losing a battle on the astral plane, but she does what she should have done before this and gets a gun. Calico is overjoyed that the Outliers (except Jitter) came for her, but what could be a heartwarming moment is undercut by their dulled expressions. I can buy Deathdream doing this, but Ransom has been emotionally aware prior to this. We have zero details, but aren't these kids tight after months of being on the run together?

It's finally time to stop standing around, as Ellis and guards are here with guns. The X-Men, having already beat up plenty of these dudes, aren't impressed. They stand together (no idea where Chuck and Scurvy got to) and Cyke urges her to stand down, pointing out that they're not as nice as the Avengers. Rogue agrees in the shittiest way possible, thinking 'sometimes visor boy says jus the right thing.' Weird ableist stance from Rogue, but all it does is highlight how shallow their conflict is and remind us that Gail Simone doesn't like Cyclops.

Ellis doesn't blink, telling them her 'brother died because of trash like you.' We knew this already, and I'm wondering if there's anything else to her. She's established as a threat but she's not especially interesting. She helped with Sarah Gaunt out of empathy (?) but here she is flinging the same old slurs. I'm not sure if her dark skin is meant to be noteworthy or say anything. So far it hasn't been a part of her character in any way other than visual, no commentary on how someone who has experienced minority oppression becomes so hell-bent on dealing it out herself. How does a person become willing to enslave and torture, and even (as we'll see) destroy two towns with thousands of humans in them? Her brother died, sure, but that's thin characterisation for a multi-arc villain.

Chuck wallops Scurvy with an uppercut!

Ellis brings out The Trustees again (who the X-Men easily defeated) to have Blob recite 'the pledge.' Very messed up but it shouldn't exactly convince the X-Men to do anything other than smash this place to pieces. She threatens to let Sarah Gaunt loose from her comically large chains that shouldn't stop her for a second.

Cyclops points out that with Scurvy's defeat Ellis' big gun is down. She laughs at that, and for some reason Chuck doesn't immediately take over her brain. Her big gun is more literal - a fucking network of sonic cannon satellites. Who TF gave this lady a Death Star? She has Merle and Haven targeted but Rogue thinks she's bluffing. Logically, you'd think so. Would the US government really accept this maniac destroying towns with a space laser? Not sure how they'd spin that. Also, neither team have any leverage to stop her using it whenever she wants. I feel like she's forcing them to kill her right here and now, lest their strategic position becomes 'able to be killed at any time without effort.' They could even just send her on permanent vacation to Limbo, see how her bullshit flies with Maddie Pryor.

Ellis lets them take the people they came for (why?) but that's not enough for Rogue. Siryn speaks to Rogue personally while crying, indicating she's herself, as much as she can be with all the torture, mind control, and who knows what else? It's only when Xavier intercedes that Rogue listens.

Charles explains why he needs to be in prison (though we know he'll change his mind and escape in March) and they have an emotional exchange. It works, I guess, but Rogue looks super selfish and ignorant. Free Charles for personal reasons when he doesn't want it at the cost of two towns? Doesn't seem like much of a choice (other than knocking Ellis out while she's in your face.) It feels a bit regressive for Rogue, too. She is aware of everything from Fall of X (including Chuck manipulating one of her mothers and trying to permanently kill the other) and hadn't really had or needed a mentor in a long time. Sure, everyone is lost after Krakoa, but WTF is she so attached to Xavier? It's great that he was the first to believe in her but this feels almost infantilising. Rogue is better than this.

Scott has Magik open a big portal before 'she' can stop you. I assume 'she' refers to Rogue, except Rogue is shown willingly walking through it with everyone else. Ellis wasn't interested in stopping them. It's like everyone has the script and realises the event is over so it's time to go. I have difficulty believing any of these characters would just meekly leave, not because of Xavier, but the multiple sonic space cannons that can kill them anytime plus their enslaved comrades. There's eight regular ass humans with guns in the way and this is their shot to do anything about it. How many of these X-Men could take them all out by themselves? Cyke could optic blast them unconscious, Magik has multiple methods, and many of the others could just punch them while ignoring bullets.

Yo, where's Quentin? He arrived with you guys.

Once Rogue has walked through the portal (clearly willingly and without duress) she objects again - 'no. We can't leave him there!' Cyke echoes Charles' own words and promises to get the others out, but Rogue punches him maybe ten feet and not only repudiates Scott's promises (?) but places the blame entirely on him. He blasts her and tells her to grow up (kinda fair) but then their teammates hold them back. Beast tells Scott he won, but this looks like a narrative trick to pretend Cyclops wanted to fight or has any reason to.

Rogue turns to leave with mild venom and her team follows. Hank assures Scott that he had no choice and Scott disagrees but doesn't elaborate. I hate to see X-Men fight but it's even worse when it's over nothing. The post-portal events feel like Simone going 'hmm, didn't really sell that ideological divide or their falling out, fuck it, just have Rogue punch Cyclops.' I think Cyclops was mostly right here, but it's more than Rogue was wrong and the conflict was contrived. I just don't buy the degree of animosity Rogue has and all the reasons given feel out of character. If that's who Rogue is right now I can accept it, but it's not very heroic and she's had multiple egregious failures of leadership. If this is identified as a character flaw that needs working on or a mistake that she regrets it could make for interesting storytelling, but all the information we have suggests that's not the case. Uncanny is frankly a trainwreck, but at least it looks fantastic. The letters page and other media suggests a lot of people are enjoying this book, and I couldn't be happier for them. I just wish I was too. I'll keep reviewing it of course, and I'll be less harsh than this review was. It was hyped and it called shots and didn't deliver. Doing that sets expectations and gives me another metric to judge it by. Hopefully we can get on with learning about the characters who've been neglected.

As for Raid on Graymalkin as an event, it had its ups and downs. Most of the ups were in X-Men and most of the downs were in Uncanny. Ultimately it didn't fulfill the promise it made so I judge it as a failure. We didn't learn a great deal and it boiled down to a cynical excuse for X-Men to punch each other. The mysteries it introduced feel dull to me and I am not especially interested in the Avians or Inmate X. The solicits for X-Manhunt spoiled that Xavier wasn't going anywhere, which left us with forced conflict. I'm far more interested in the aftermath of the event, especially the Alaska team dealing with a visit from the O*N*E. They don't really need much reason to fuck with the X-Men so I'm not crediting the event with that.

Thanks for reading!

[ceesimz]

feels like we only go backwards

is this all you'll ever be? (angst -> comfort/fluff)

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but I am done with this.” 

All of your adult life, you thought that the six month mark argument stage was a myth. Maybe that’s because you hadn’t ever made it to that milestone before, dating wasn’t your thing.

“And everytime you say that, I don’t understand what you mean!” 

Apparently it was true.

“No, you do not get to pull that card. You know exactly what I mean. I come home after working all day, exhausted, just to hear you whine and complain about chores and other bullshit. You work from home, I travel all over Spain and Europe, so I'm sorry if I forget my chores once in a while!” 

You think it's unfair that the person you are truly, genuinely, wholeheartedly in love with is the one you can't stop arguing against. Relationships aren't meant to be like that, even you can recognise and acknowledge that after years and years of failed attempts at them.

“What, just because you're famous you think you're more important than me? That your job is more exhausting? I rarely work from home, the only time I do is when you're actually in the city so that I can try and see you! How fucking selfish are you? My job is important, in fact I make an actual difference to people's lives whereas you kick a ball around the pitch and expect everyone to worship you for it!” 

The first one began when you were running late picking Alexia up after she had a meeting, her car was in the garage and the weather was especially awful that day. Maybe the torrential downpour should have been a sign of things to come, things only got worse from then onwards.

“My job IS important! It is my life, if you can't understand that part of me then I don't know why you're still here!” 

Alexia feels like the walls are closing in on her where she lays on her couch, thinks her life might end after a particularly bad argument, the worst of them all so far. For weeks, the tension had been simmering slowly, but now it had boiled over completely. She wasn’t sure she would get you back.

“Wow. Okay. You know, if you never loved me, liked me, even. I wish you would have told me to leave sooner.” 

Both of you were to blame in all this, you two knew that. For some reason, you were just too stubborn to acknowledge that fact and do anything about it. So you both sat in different apartments in the same city, lost and fatalistically melancholic about a situation that could be solved with some simple communication. One conversation could save you from this, but were either of you brave enough to take that first step?

“Dios mío, now you are being even more ridiculous. How can you say that after all I have done for you?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever hated yourself more than you did, lying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself. Your neighbours were probably on the other side of the wall, laughing at the pity party happening in the next apartment over. From this moment on, you could never take the elevator again, you think the small talk that would occur might be your last straw.

“All you have done? Enlighten me on what you think love is, Alexia, because you’re making it out to be something transactional, and if that’s the case then this relationship might be the worst fucking ‘investment’ of my life. Don’t even act like you’re some kind of saint either, I have spent the last month feeling more alone than loved.” 

That final statement from you was when the penny dropped for Alexia. It was a sentence that would haunt her forever. There wasn’t even a thing she could do about it either; you slipped your shoes on, and walked out after it. 

You didn’t mean to leave at that precise moment, you knew that was the worst thing to do in an argument. In all honesty, it wasn’t even to make a point to Alexia. What you admitted in that moment felt way too vulnerable, you inwardly cringed when the words fell out. Your only choice then, it felt like, to save the last ounce of your dignity was to flee so that you didn’t give your heart the chance to feel bad for saying that to the woman you loved.

Being annoyed and angry didn’t come naturally to you, being sympathetic did. You knew you would have instantly felt a hundred times more guilty if you had stayed to see her reaction. And thankfully, for some time, you didn’t feel regret or remorse, you were hot with rage. Alexia didn’t try to stop you leaving, nor did she follow you. 

But then, in the quiet safe haven of your apartment, those feelings began to set in. Not even the dark of your bedroom or the comfort of your duvet could fend them off, sleep decided to go against you that night and opt out of helping you. That left you with no choice but to dwell on the evening’s events, the week’s dramas, and the month’s emotional turmoil. 

It had been one of the hardest months of your life, you just wanted it to be over. Instead, the only thing that seemed to have ended was your relationship.

And on the other side of the city, a two-time Ballon d’Or winner had reduced herself to tears after the realisation that all she had come to be in football had meant she had totally disregarded who she was at home and, more importantly, who she came home to. 

In football, when you make a mistake, there are twenty-plus people that will put you in your place and tell you exactly where you went wrong. In life, there is no such thing. There is no system, only consequence. Age was irrelevant when it came to learning things. Here, she was humbled in a way she had never been before, no nutmeg or own goal could match this. She knew, the moment it sunk in, that she needed it. 

She also needed you; she needed your love, your joy, your touch, if she ever hoped to feel whole again. The pain of the night’s occurrence was almost as horrible as the longing she felt when she thought back on the first months of knowing you. All was right in the world then – she was playing great football, and she had an incredible partner to come home to. Out of all the things she missed, all the obvious things, one thing that once seemed incredibly minor soon stepped out of the shadows and stabbed her right in the chest.

Knowing that, after the day she’d had no matter if it was good or bad, she would still get to come home to you was an unexplainable feeling. It was a phenomenon she wasn’t sure she could ever put into words. Something about being exhausted or full of energy, grumpy and miserable or content and calm, and still having someone that loved her was… priceless. If she lost that, you, forever, she was sure her heart would beat a little slower, have less will to live and function. A life without love like yours simply wasn’t worth it. 

As you both lay down in separate flats, only a car ride between you, the anxieties and the doubts were the same. Your soul was nearly a reflection of hers; the same morals, the same worries, the same guilt. Only the reasons for the last two were different. You were both determined characters, at work and in life in general. Alexia decided to put hers to good use.

Alexia: I’m coming over.

Initially, that text you received only made you feel a thousand times worse. The moment your phone vibrated with the notification, you scrambled to pick it up, hoping it was anything but that text. Maybe if you were in a better state of mind, you wouldn’t have spiralled at the sight of it. Maybe if you didn’t think your relationship was already dead and done with, it wouldn’t have been the final nail in the coffin. 

Staying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself was no longer cutting it, you had to get up and move. So, move you did. You never stopped pacing for a second. You waited for her in the lounge, a room that may as well have been a shrine to the woman about to serve you the worst news of your life. Framed photos littered the walls and any surface in sight – you were always an old soul, something Alexia adored about you. The way you demanded to have photos of every single person you loved on display reminded her of her mother, it was a sentiment that never failed to make her smile. 

But it wasn’t just the photos, it was the signs of life. The most agonising reminders of what simplicities you would lose; one of her jackets hung on the wall by the door, the dishes piled up in the sink from when you had shared breakfast just that morning, the book of yours she had been borrowing to read when she came over. They all served as a horrifying mockery of what you were about to let slip from your grasp. 

You had her, and soon you wouldn’t. 

The pacing stopped then, the sudden, strange grief strong enough to break through the autopilot movement of your legs and allow the world to come falling down on you. Whoever said that heartbreak didn’t cause a physical reaction clearly hadn’t lost a person like Alexia. She was one-in-eight-billion. No amount of searching would lead you to anyone that came remotely close to the beauty of her heart, her mind, and her soul.

“Cariño, let me in, please!” The pounding at your door brought you out of whatever pit of dread you had fallen into, only for you to fall right back into it the moment you came to. “Please. I need to talk to you, amor.”

“-if you can't understand that part of me then I don't know why you're still here!” 

Then why is she here?

The sound of the lock sliding and the door opening sent a surge of relief through Alexia, though it left the second she saw your face. Eyes full of tears and cheeks reddened by past drops that had fallen, even hours after the earlier altercation. The sun had set long ago, and it had taken any remaining hints of hope with it.

“Why are you here?” You said, knowing that the confidence you tried to put on crumbled with the crack of emotion in your voice.

“Let me in. Please, amor, I can’t… I can’t.” Sounded like she didn’t have much faith in her facade either, judging by the desperation in the way she spoke. There was also a drop of disdain too that you knew was aimed entirely at herself, you’d heard it before, and even after the way the day had gone, or rather the month, it still hurt to hear your favourite person in the world to talk like that.

If she was surprised at how you stood to the side to let her in, she didn’t show it. 

“Alexia…” You started, but trailed off fairly quick. You didn’t know what to say.

“No, don’t call me that. Please, not you.” She shook her head with the same amount of desperation as what was in her tone. 

You closed the door and slowly padded your way over to where she stood in the centre of the lounge. As you came to stand in front of her, you noticed the gloss of her eyes that glistened in the moonlight streaming through the window. The way you reached out and delicately put a hand on her arm was all instinct.

“What's wrong?” You asked quietly, but that only seemed to cause more unrest.

“Qué? What's wrong?! The fact that we love each other and we cannot stop arguing! Why are we against each other when we are supposed to be on the same team? I-it’s absurd, amor, I-”

“Ale, Ale, calm down.” Your other hand came up to grab her arm, holding tightly in an effort to grasp her attention. 

She didn't deserve your time. She had neglected you for the past month, yet here you were, taking her heart and caring for it with a tenderness that would make the world stop.

“I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t treat you like this anymore.”

Here it comes.

Your hands fell away when she said that, and the roles reversed. You slipped into a state of panic, though you tried to hide it, whilst Alexia’s composure came back to her.

“From now on, no more arguing. No more arguing, no more shouting, no more of it. It is not good for us, you don’t deserve it.” She had to get that out first, then take a deep breath, before she could move on to what really mattered to her. “I love you. These arguments hurt the both of us, but I cannot stand making you cry or making you feel alone. Dios, I will never make you feel like that again even if it kills me.”

Her words weren’t registering in your mind, you were nearly in a state of shock. Only minutes before she had showed up, you were in a near catatonic state at the anticipation of the death of your relationship. That wasn’t the case here.

“What?” You murmured, crossing your arms over your chest in a way that broke Alexia’s heart once more, because it was like you did it to defend yourself. 

She tried her best to soften her demeanour, from her body language to her eyes, and she cautiously stepped over. Her hands landed gently on your cheeks, brushing away the tears there, and she gazed at you with a softness you weren’t expecting to ever see again.

“I am sorry for how I have behaved towards you and I will say sorry for the rest of my life. I can’t lose you, amor, I would rather lose everything else in my life if it meant I could have you. I didn’t recognise that in the past and I am so sorry it took me this long to realise it. You don’t deserve my behaviour and I don’t deserve you.”

She let out a shaky breath, leaning down to rest her forehead against yours as she swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself to get through her next words.

“What I said earlier, I do not mean it and I never could. I have never loved someone like I love you, and even though that scares me a tiny bit, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want you around, and I want you to want me around too. There are no excuses for the way I have neglected you and treated you, and I will be better. I will be better, I promise.”

“I…” You choked back your emotions and prepared yourself for her reaction to your next words. “I thought you were coming here to break up with me.”

Even though she was the one touching you, you sensed her whole body stiffen at that. You opened your eyes, not having even realised they were closed in the first place, and saw her eyes tightly shut and the familiar frown to her face. Though, there was a tremble to her chin that told you she was fighting back her sobs. 

“No.” Was all she muttered as she shook her head gently against yours. She quickly moved away then, and the loss of her was terrifying for a moment, before you realised she had just turned around to hide her tears for a moment when she wiped her face on the inside of her shirt, turning back afterward. Her hands cradled your face in the same way she did a moment ago. “No. I’m not breaking up with you and I don’t want to break up with you, ever. For as long as you let me, I will love you. I even-”

Her eyes went comically wide then, and if the moment wasn’t so serious, you probably would have laughed.

“What?” You wondered, watching in amusement as she groaned and threw her head back. 

“I bought two bouquets of flowers for you and I left them both in my car.” 

Even though you felt a little bad, you laughed at her admission. You laughed, genuinely and freely, and it felt different to any of the laughs you’d let out in the past few weeks. When Alexia moved past her frustration, she couldn’t help but join in with you. And before you knew it, your shared laughter bounced off of the walls despite the tears still present on either of your faces. The moment was funny, in fact the whole situation of both the flowers and the arguments that had been had were ridiculous.

Most of the time, you couldn’t even pick out why the argument started. Not to mention most fights were just rehashing the same points and excuses over and over. So yeah, it was ridiculous.

Alexia, however, wasn’t expecting you to wrap your arms around her in a hug she had missed for… she didn’t even know. Every act of intimacy of the last month had felt forced, with an ounce of apprehension in them. This hug, it was different. It was sincere and filled with the love that had been lacking recently. To be honest, it took her breath away.

“You’re not breaking up with me.” You mumbled into her neck where you had buried your face, a bashful smile on your face. 

“I’m not breaking up with you. If you’ll forgive me, if you’ll have me still, I’m not breaking up with you.” 

That sentence especially caught your attention. You leaned back in her arms, keeping your own tight around her, and looked up at her in confusion.

“Ale, if you forgive me. I said some horrible things too, it wasn’t only you. I was just as bad.” The blonde smiled sadly down at you and shook her head softly before moving forward to place a gentle, reassuring kiss to your temple.

“We both said some mean things. I want to forget it for now.” She whispered. You were more than happy to entertain her in that.

“Me too. I love you, Ale. So much.”

No relationship was perfect, that you knew now. But even through the arguments, the disagreements, the particularly bad fights, every moment outside of those occurrences were worth it, and more.

—

wrote this on a whim, and its... actually short? 😧 overall im not too sure about it, it's been a while since i posted something like this but hope you liked it 🙃🧡

[sxorpiomooon]

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Pile 1-

the first vibe that I got immediately was someone who's an entrepreneur perhaps or someone who works in a very big corporation or organisation I immediately thought of aries asc in the d10 chart for some reason. They might constantly be surrounded by people trying to trick them I heard "stocks" for some reason too. Your fs might have to be really aware of their surroundings at all time due to them constantly being in a situation where people want to take advantage of them or betray them I'm also getting something related to coding. Your fs also probably lives far away from their homeland or home place. They might have left home at an early age due to their career and I see the distance just increasing from there. This person's career requires them to be a planner and make decisions very quickly. For some reason I think fate or external forces also play alot of importance in their career? It's almost as if alot of things are out of what they can do. This feels like a job where external factors have the more say. I also see things might get chaotic out of nowhere so they have to be ready for that always. I had a vision of a very big screen and all the phones ringing out of nowhere at once.

Pile 2-

Your fs definitely lost money lmao. I see them losing money on bad investments frequently or perhaps at the very beginning. I think this person has quite the lore? I see them making a wrong decision or investment in the beginning and losing things but the right person will be ready to offer them the help that they need at the right time. I also think this person might have lost alot of good opportunities when they were young because they were too naive? This person might have trusted the wrong people. But I do see them getting a guardian almost as if someone will come in their life and help them out of nowhere. This person is in a career that requires them to have a balance of their head and heart. I got HR for some reason? I also see them having to be very negotiable in their work environment, very diplomatic. They might have to be very tolerant and patient of others. I got sagittarius for some reason. Your fs probably came from a struggling background and made it big. I see a little kid having big dreams and being ridiculed for it only to make all of them true in the end. Your fs might still be in the progress of making big when you meet them rags to riches kind of story. I also see your fs being in a cycle of constant learning. They also live far away from their homeland

Pile 3-

I think this person has some failed ideas or initiatives. Things might have not worked out for them how they expected it to. I see them having to change their ways or approach for things to finally succeed for them. It will be a very big wound for them I see. I heard Chiron too haha. The scenario that I'm getting the most is this person starting a business with a friend or a partner and getting betrayed by them. After this, they probably started a brand new venture, something they have never done before and actually managing to make it big. They might have alot of people working under them I see them providing employment to alot of money that need it and hyping them up. This person is very excited in their workplace always being the biggest supporter of others. They are definitely a leader since they know and understand the big picture. I see this person having a really great aura. Someone who has alot of faith and courage. I also see them either continuing their legacy in some way or leaving one. Probably both I also saw shoes for some reason? Perhaps a business related to that? But I do see them being very respectful to their roots

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day four: voyeurism kink

>>> guys can you tell i have a choso fantasy or do i need to write another five thousand word fic to prove it i'm sobbing and actually in love with him fr. it took me days to write this bc i was just too feral.

>>> starring: choso kamo x curvy!fem!reader >>> cw: roommate choso, hung like a horse choso, virgin choso, voyeurism clearly, petnames, masturbation, cowgirl, implied multiple rounds, choso whimpers you're so welcome, choso smokes a blunt grow up >>> wc: 4.8k >>> event masterlist

this whole roommate ordeal seemed easy enough. you had a spare room in your condo, yuji had a spare brother that needed a place to stay after graduation. it worked out perfectly, as you weren’t too keen on having a rando move in. though the half-curse was little more than that, really. you had only come in contact with choso briefly, seeing him move through the halls of jujutsu tech in search of the very brother that recommended him to you. he was intimidating, tall and broad with a look of disinterest across his face every time you ran into him. yuji had told you that he wasn’t necessarily unfriendly, just unsure, so you were weary to approach him once he moved into the spare room. you didn’t want to overdo it, you would hate to make him uncomfortable with all these changes he was getting accustomed to. so for the first three months or so, you two would only exchange pleasantries and nod respectfully, two strangers sharing an address and lingering curious stares. then, one morning you offered to make him breakfast, and you two settled into a comfortable friendship after that. 

Nowadays, nearly a year later, the living area was actually used and shared. you watched recommended shows together, introduced each other to your favorite movies, and oftentimes just sat in each other’s presence on the couch; on your phones, playing nintendo switch games, or passing choso’s best attempt at a blunt between you while shit talking your neighbors with your legs in his lap. you even encouraged him to invest in a real gaming setup, where he plays a host of different games for hours while you sit contently in the bean bag chair stationed nearby in his room, reading or crafting or just watching from time to time. the more comfortable he became, the more fun he was to be around. he was no longer shy to ask you to sit with him while he plays or to inquire about your latest book and his smiles and conversations flowed more freely. 

he enjoys your presence. it’s easy to be around you. he wonders why. even with all the progress he had made with you, he was still terribly awkward around new people and his social battery was limited. he never got tired of hanging out with you though, in fact, he craves it always. yuji says that it’s because you’re pretty, which choso can’t disagree with, though his brother’s statement irritates him for no good reason. 

he finds himself wondering if his brother knows you the way he does, silly things about you like which animal crossing character you would reincarnate as or the fact you hate grape flavored anything—it all tastes like cough syrup!--he can hear you say. no, he gets to see the real you, the one you reserve just for him. so yuji can think you’re pretty all he wants, but he’s the one who gets to see your breathtaking smiles in reaction to something he said.

“bro?! still there–or are you too busy being jealous?” yuji snickers, relishing in the match he made. he knew choso would wake up with a babe like you walking around. 

“you’re a child. and a dick.” he huffs, aggravated by his spacey sibling’s acute sense of his feelings. “goodbye.” he taps to end their weekly gaming marathon facetime two hours short out of annoyance, confronted with the silence of his bedroom and his questioning thoughts about you. jealous? as much as he hated to admit it, maybe he was. he couldn't even picture the thought of you being with someone else, try as he might. did that mean he wanted to be that person? your person? he’s so confused, but he knows even if he’s embarrassed he can talk to you about it. you could help him work through his feelings and come to a solution. even if the feelings were about you, he knows you would always be honest with him. he sighs, deciding to make his way to your room down the hall. 

you two didn’t spend a lot of time apart now that the bond had been created, and you were more than alright with that routine, because on fridays, choso holed up in his room for five straight hours to facetime yuji and play video games giving you some much needed time to yourself. you always started with a long and intricate shower, doing all your different exfoliants and masks. then you’d touch up your nails and give yourself a total spa treatment, finishing up by putting on your cutest little panties and releasing some of the pent up sexual frustration for your roommate that you keep under lock and key for the same reasons you were hesitant to cross into friendship territory all those months ago: you don’t want to scare him away. 

so you settle for your own small hands cupping your chest and pinching at your nipples, trying to picture him. It’s choso’s large and veiny hands that run down your sides and spread your legs instead of your own toying with your underwear. you can smell the versace eros cologne he wears wafting through your nose, almost able to hear his gravelly voice in your ear praising you for doing so good. it’s almost embarrassing how easy it is to conjure the image of him sinking between your thighs, lust pooling in his violet eyes. you’re soaked already, feeling the fabric of your panties sticking to your cunt just at your active imagination. you peel them off, hissing as cold air blows across your middle, but your fingers quickly find the heat of your hole, gathering that natural lube to flick your clit with. your eyes are closed—whining helplessly already at the sensation you bring yourself with him in mind. it’s nowhere near the real deal, but the bliss is good enough to lull pants of his name from your mouth, body light as air.

choso doesn’t think anything of your closed door. you told him you keep it closed to let him have his space, not wanting him to feel like you’re watching or eavesdropping on him while he’s on the phone. especially as he got close enough to reach for your door handle, hearing you call his name. you sounded…strained? in all honesty he was worried. so he doesn’t hesitate to push the door open a bit, peeking to check. his heart drops into his stomach at the sight of you naked on your bed. you’re stunning. he’s seen pictures of other women—and yuji showed him a few websites—but your body was second to none. his hand flew to cover his immediate hard on, shocked you hadn’t noticed him yet. fuck, you are gorgeous, one hand squeezing at your breast, the other playing around in that squelching noise he hears between your legs. he fights the urge to moan aloud or announce his presence, and he’s ashamed of himself. he feels like he’s betraying your trust, but his dick keeps growing in his pants at the chants of his name spilling out of your lips. he watches as your legs jerk and your head falls back against your pillow, making him think you were almost done. he had to get out before you saw him or felt his unique energy so close to you. he’s panting as he shuts the door quietly, turning the knob just so it wouldn’t alert you. 

his dick hurts as he makes it just one room down—the bathroom. perfect. he turns the shower on immediately, stripping his clothes off like they were on fire. he had set out to talk to you, to be completely honest about the thoughts he had been having, but seeing you like that did things to him words could not. he’s been horny before, of course, and dealt with that the way single human men do. but this—the desire coursing through his veins—this was different. so different. everything was clear now, he needed you. he stands with his back under the water, whimpering as his dick throbs to the mental image of your glistening pussy and blissed out face. he can’t help but close his fist around the his wide shaft, stuttering out a sigh in relief. he strokes himself to the same rhythm you moved your fingers, imagining how that pace would feel with your wet and warm cunt hugging him in instead of the rough surface of his hand. his other hand keeps him braced on the shower wall, steadying him through the searing heat the promises of your touch seem to be; to think that you were calling for him, thinking of him in the way he thinks of you now felt like a dream. he had to be hearing things, that’s the only excuse the man can summon. water beads down his biceps and chest, and it just makes his dirty deed all that much more so, fucking into his fist until his load is running down the side of the tub, the pearly beads getting swept away in the water and carried down the drain. he tosses his head back in the shower stream, his long black strands sticking to his face and neck as he tries to rinse away his shame. 

that night, choso doesn’t come out of his room to watch a movie with you before bed. you pout, but try not to linger on it too long. maybe yuji took a lot out of him today, or they didn’t have a successful time on and he was moody. either way, you weren’t going to bother him. you hang out on the couch like usual with the hopes that he would emerge soon, but as your bedtime nears and everything remains still, you slink off to your room with a sour mood to end an otherwise normal day.

as the days pass, choso’s behavior gets weirder and weirder. it’s almost as if he’s completely reverted inside his shell he made when he moved in, only emerging to get food when he had hoped you weren’t around. the times in which he did inevitably run into you were dealt in nervous laughter and denials that anything was wrong with him. it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was lying, hiding something from you even. you were slightly hurt that he didn’t trust you enough to talk to you, instead of going backwards and shutting you out. you wanted to wait it out, but as the days turned into a full week, you feared losing him altogether. 

you stewed over the situation the entire time you were at work. you couldn’t even get anything accomplished because you were too preoccupied wondering what you had done to wound your connection. spending your days alone was maddening. a little over a year ago, you would have relished in the peace and quiet, but now it was unwelcome. you only wanted quiet if it was filled with the subtle sounds of pages turning or the buttons of a controller smashing or shared breathing during the climax of a show. this was haunting, and you knew you had to do something. you left work early, faking a stomach ache in order to get home and corner choso into relenting. no more miss nice roommate. you were tired of letting him be all weird and distant. so you walked in unceremoniously, not necessarily out to scare him. you shake your sandals off by the door and walk towards his room, noting that his door was actually open for once. 

that was only because you weren’t supposed to be home for three and a half more hours, giving choso plenty of time to relive his dirty fantasies of you with the least amount of guilt possible, though he could barely look you in the eye these days. if you weren’t home, he could at least not worry about you catching him in his perverted acts, only dealing with the shame that flows in after he’s came for the millionth time to the image of your legs quivering and mouth parting in pleasure. he didn’t hear you sneak in–didn’t hear you shuffle down the hall to poke your head around the doorframe. he was dead to the outside world, his hips stuttering into his hand, thumb swiping the pre-cum that beaded there around his slit, stroking himself with whimpers of your name tumbling out, his eyes scrunched tight in concentration. 

your jaw was on the floor, never in a million years imagining that he even knew how to touch himself like that, not to mention the prayers of your name on his tongue, mirroring the ones you make for him on fridays. he was massive, it had you covering your mouth in shock. even with his huge hand, it seemed like pumping himself was a tall task. you couldn’t imagine trying to do it yourself, you’re not even sure two hands would do the trick— you must have gasped aloud or something, because suddenly his head snaps toward where you stand in the doorway. 

“y/n–you’re–” his dark eyes are wide, his lips parted in realization that you had really caught him jerking off and mewling your name like a helpless perv. as the guilt starts to creep in, the haze of need and desire clouds his mind. he never lets go of himself, all too aware of your lip between your teeth and your hardened nipples poking through your top—no, you shouldn’t be seeing this, you shouldn’t even be home yet! not to mention how ashamed you should be of your own roommate rutting into his hand.

“...i’m home.” you whisper back, a slight smirk creeping onto your face. despite the red blush spreading across his cheeks, he keeps fucking up into his hand. it’s salacious, and you can feel your body responding to the sight, unsurprisingly. you’ve been picturing him naked for months, and not even your lewd imagination gave him justice. every plane on his body was sculpted and defined, thick veins running down his arms and thighs and cock. he left his hair down, some of the strands tucked behind his ear, some of them hung over his brows and cheekbones. he gulped when he noticed your stare, your eyes locked on the thick cock in his hand, curved with an angry and needy tip. 

“y/n, i’m so so sorr–” he scrambles to sit up, the heavy reality finally sinking in. he was awful, sick in the head, you were going to have him pack his shit immediately, and he’d have to tell all his friends why you had gotten rid of him. 

“need some help?” you spit out, unable to tolerate the pounding in your chest and pussy. his eyes grow impossibly wider, blood rushing in his ears. did he understand you right? he couldn’t possibly. 

“wh-what?” he sputtered, sitting up slightly to try and hide himself from view a bit, as if you hadn’t seen every bit of him already. 

“i asked if you wanted my help. you were saying my name, weren’t you?” you tease gently, stepping further into his room, your hands innocently folded behind your back. now that you know your desire is shared, you felt confident enough to push your relationship further yet again. he nods hesitantly, watching you stalk over to the bed like a lioness about to pounce.

“i–yes, it’s not what you think. i know it looks–” 

“like you were jacking off and thinking about me? is that not…what you were doing?” you hum, pausing by the foot of his bed. you look so cute, he has to believe you know what you’re doing, folding your arms under your voluptuous chest just to taunt him a bit more. you have him backed into a corner, and he either had to admit the truth or come up with a very clever lie. and he is not a gifted liar. 

“i–yeah…” he looks away, feeling the shame weighing down on him now that you had confronted him with the undeniable truth. 

you chuckle warmly. “i do the same thing, ‘cept I’m thinking of you.” you shrug, the smirk growing on your face as realization seeps into his. he didn’t misunderstand you that day or even earlier in this conversation. you want him too. he swallows thickly again, remembering the day that started all of this. 

“i–i know, i saw you, last week.” he chokes out as you take your top off, revealing yourself to him. He’d noticed your lack of bra earlier, but didn’t expect to be blessed with the sight of your body again, especially as you bend at the hips to wiggle out of your pants. Your laughter surprises him again, like he had intentionally made a joke. but it was only because he had solved the mystery that led you to his room in the first place, and that would potentially resolve any secrets you had been keeping from one another. 

“so that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” you scrunch your nose at him adorably as you crawl onto the bed, his eyes glued to the body that had him locked in his bedroom day and night. “oh choso, i wish you would have interrupted me…i surely woulda let you help me.” you purr, so close to him that he could reach out and touch you now, and he definitely thinks about just grabbing your hips and pulling you down on him, finally feeling that glistening pussy for himself—to hell with his imagination, but your voice interrupts his thoughts again. 

“so, do you want me to help you, baby?” you glance from the hard length in his hands to his deep purple eyes, swirling with something you recognize very well to be deep desire. 

“please–” he whimpered and let his hand fall away from his pelvis, looking to you like a pathetic boy getting his teenage dreams fulfilled. Your grin grows wide, and you lean closer to brush your hand across his toned abdomen. he lets out a pleased little grunt and his cock jumps at the simple touch

“you’ve never been with anyone, have you?” you asked, faces so close he can see every freckle and dimple and scar on your skin. he shakes his head. you peck the tip of his nose. he’s already shivering, the feeling of your body leaning over his was exhilarating. your kiss was so simple and sweet, but it stopped all the thoughts in his brain. he was just malleable now, ready to let you make him feel good, finally shifting from imagination to reality. “need you to talk to me, so i can know where you’re at, cho.” 

“no, no..never.” he shakes his head again, eying you with excitement and nerves all at once. he wants to touch you, and you’ve already stripped naked and kissed him, so surely there was no going back now, so he reaches up and places his hands on your hips—so light like he was afraid to hurt you. 

you grin at both his answer and his courageous touch, nodding your encouragement, “that’s fine, i’ll help you…just do what feels natural–you can go as hard as you want., and tell me if you want to stop.” your eyes blink at him sweet he realizes he would trust you with his life if you asked. 

“okay.” he lets your words wash over him, nodding as he grips your hips a little tighter. he’s more than embraced his fate, his mouth watering a bit at the idea that you were in his bed and offering to make all his fantasies come true. you were expecting him to keep that deer in a headlights look, but when you rake your fingernails across his chest, you watch his eyes darken a bit more. “kiss me?” 

choso looks so cute, you couldn’t deny him if you wanted to. his eyebrow raised with innocence, but his eyes shrouded in arousal. you giggle softly and lean up, sliding your hands over his pecs and shoulders and into those dark locks calling your name. you tug, and he gasps softly. you take that opportunity to cover his parted lips with your own, his head falling back to accommodate you as you fully crawl into his lap. he melts, you feel and taste so impossibly good he’s concerned he may bust over the kiss. your tongue moves so expertly against his, twirling around and sucking on the muscle in a way he didn’t know people employed. then you’re sitting on his abs, and he can feel so much at once. his eyes blow wide in the kiss, and he has to pull away to gasp again and see what you’re doing to him. 

you’re simply sitting, your pretty shining pussy rubbing against his core and his dick teasing the crack of your ass. that must be what’s driving him insane, the warmth and softness providing some but not enough friction. you wiggle your ass a bit to tease him, and he whimpers. the sound is so sweet and low you know you can’t handle playing with the shy little virgin much longer.

“i–is th–that sup’posed to f-feel that go–ngh, good?” he stammers, the hold on your hips bordering bruising. he doesn’t even realize, and you certainly don’t mind, so you only smile and nod down at him, reaching for his chin with your fingers. he makes you look so small without even trying, the broad expanse of his body, wide jaw and thick legs—not to mention the monstrous cock rocking against your behind, your own need soaking his happy trail to the skin beneath. you move his gaze from your sensual movements back to your sultry gaze. yuji was wrong. pretty was such a mild way to describe the woman on his lap. you were more a kin to a goddess, something not fully human like him. 

“i was hoping to give you the full treatment, but i don’t think you’ll mind if i skip to the main event?” you bite your lip, your other hand scraping at his scalp a little bit. no, of course he didn’t mind. sometimes you were so silly. he nods fervently, remembering that he needed to find his voice, to not seem like such a coward when he wanted this so badly. 

“no—please,” he whimpers again, feeling the drip of your liquid on him. it dawns on him then that you’re just as needy, and you still wanted him even though you’d have to teach him what to do. you didn’t seem worried, maybe it was easier than he thought. but all he knows is that his balls are starting to hurt and he had never felt more buzzed in his entire life, sensitive to every move you make. “i need you so bad, oh sh–” 

you scoot back, lifting yourself up a little to align him with your entrance. his whimpers and begs were so fucking amazing, you wish you had it in you to milk it. you make the mental note to keep him begging when you show him what it feels like to have his dick sucked or whimpering when he eats your cunt for the first time. he’s so heavy in your hand, and you can’t even close your fist around him. it makes you shudder, knowing that you’re going to make him fit inside you no matter the stretch. his tip was so red and irritated, oozing pre. you swiped it over his head, humming in amusement as he jerks and whines at the feeling. 

“you’re massive, d’you know that?” you pout, sinking down a few inches. he moans at first, feeling like his cock was fit into a perfect sleeve. it’s unreal, the heat he feels in his gut as you rock further down on him, whining at how huge he was. he watches the pained faces you make halfway down, the concern clear on his face. he didn’t know he was that big—he hadn’t really been comparing, but if it was hurting you, he wondered what he could do. he remembers watching you play with that sensitive spot at the apex of your thighs, using your own slick to glide around. he thinks he could replicate that, so he sticks his fingers in his mouth, spitting a bit to make sure they were just as wet as you were. you take more of him, almost to his base all while panting and bracing yourself on his chest with your eyes screwed shut. he reaches toward you, swiping his fingers around the place he watched you toy with. you gasp out and sit all the way down, the noises you make as he touches you make his eyes widen again. 

“god—i’m so full, baby.” you nod, your hips moving forward automatically, searching for more of that searing feeling he brings to your clit. he surprises you, moving his digits in slow circles as you get accustomed to his size. he chokes slightly when you squeeze him, his eyes zeroed in on your face. 

“are you alright?” he asks softly, feeling your nails dig into his chest as your hips move faster now, any other words he had wanted to say sucked from his brain like he had no thoughts at all, nothing other than that vice-grip of a pussy you have locked around him, bouncing softly and leaving little half-moons in his skin. 

“mhm, just had to stretch a bit t’fit you, are you alright?” you grin as you ask, knowing he would struggle to respond—in the best way possible. he nods eagerly, eyes flickering from where you swallow him up to your soft face of bliss. 

“are you kidding? i’m—” you rock on him a bit faster, the feeling of wet and choking walls rubbing every possible spot had him sputtering, unable to speak. he’s only able to watch you run a hand through your mane, keeping it out of your face and away from your bouncing tits. he’s in heaven. being with a woman, no, being with you, was as all the eternal bliss he cared to know. 

his hips start to move, the hold he has on your hips trailing up to the curves of your waist to better hold you down. he didn’t realize how much more intense he would make this feel for the both of you, grunts and whines spilling from his lips as you begin to cry out and yell. it’s heavenly, the way you let him drive into you, leaning forward with one hand on the headboard and the other tugging his head towards your chest. he contains his pathetic pants by sucking your nipple in his mouth, laving his tongue over it, mind so drunk and hazy he can only be driven by his primal instincts, flat footed on the bed to plow into you from below. 

it’s so perfect. you scream his name way better than he ever imagined, and he doesn’t mind to bear the scratch marks of your passion. you keep squeezing around him, and it drives him crazy. 

“i–i love when you do that—clenching down on me like that, fuck.” He grunts, slowly getting his knees under him while you sloppily keep the pace. he uses the leverage to ease you to your back, though you don’t have the luxury of pillows or a headboard, only the mattress beneath you as choso realizes this positioning lets him piston his hips without you having to do any work at all. you’re wailing, nodding to keep him from worrying about you as you continuously claw at his back and shoulders. 

“choso baby—” you whine in such a way, he knows he’s going to bust in seconds. “you’re gonna make me cum, please–doin’ so good, ngh—ack!” you cry, legs tightening around his waist as he feels a significant increase of your fluids. feeling and watching you cum by his doing was the nail in the coffin—the way your face screwed up in pure pleasure brought him his own, his pelvis stilling against the mounds of your backside, cock twitching against your womb before your vision is blurry, and all you feel is warmth seeping out of you. his load leaked out around him inside you, his cock still pulsating with no signs of dying down. 

he smiles at you a little shyly, his cheeks rosy and eyes hazy with the aftershocks of such a gripping orgasm. he watches your chest heave as you calm down, your eyes fluttering open and a smile spreading across your face as you look up at him. 

“what do i do now? to take care of you?” he asks, absentmindedly stroking the creases where your thighs meet your hips. you giggle and shake your head, knowing it would take multiple rounds for his erection to die down. 

“i show you the full treatment now, baby.” you grin, wiggling your eyebrows. 

choso found himself immersed in exploring himself and your body, discovering several new kinks to enjoy with his sweet little roommate turned lover.

[butter-bubbles]

How Mike's S4 Rink-o-Mania Fight Parallels Will's S3 Rain Fight....

OMG, OMG, OMG. So while allowing chronic Byler brainrot to consume my thoughts, I had a revelation and I'm not okay. Like at all.

Okay, so in S3 with the iconic Byler rain fight, Will says this:

This whole fight stems from two feelings.

Will's upset that Mike's ignoring and neglecting their friendship to "swap spit with some stupid girl", thus ruining their party.

Will feels abandoned by the person who he's developing romantic feelings for and doesn't know how to handle it.

This was never about the party, not really. It was about Mike's failure to be a good friend to Will and Will's frustration at not being a priority in Mike's life when Mike is a huge priority in his.

Now, let's look at what Mike says to Will during their Rink-O-Mania fight:

This is an interesting choice of words, as it's not an exact parallel to "ruining". Instead, he says "sabotaging", as though Will was actively trying to ruin their date by being snide and sarcastic. Implicitly, it reveals to the audience that Mike believes Will has enough influence over his and El's date to ruin it at all with some very minor sass.

But let's put that aside for a moment and think about what Mike is actually talking about here, since it clearly has nothing to do with El

Will is attempting to sabotage his relationship by... not being as nice and emotionally invest in Mike as he usually is.

Now we know that at the end of S3 that Will promises not to join a new party, and Mike breaks out into this absolutely elated smile.

But at the beginning of S4, Mike fiinds out that Will might have a girl he likes via the letter from El.

Will brings the girl's painting to the airport, Mike does not ask about the girl/crush (like most friends would) but instead very weirdly/passive aggressively questions Will about the painting after awkwardly ignoring his hug, and then spends the remainder of the date pretending to ignore Will and getting pissed at him.

So for reason number #2 we can deduce:

2. Mike is upset that Will is neglecting their relationship for a girl by bringing her painting to their reuinion at the airport and not paying attention to him/acting rude during his date with his girlfriend.

If you look at the reasonings side-by-side, they're basically exact parallels to one another, even down to the immediate denial from both Mike ("That's not true!") and Will ("She was lying to you!"). In fact, I'd argue Mike's accusation is even more damning because it's basically admitting that Will has influence over his relationship with his girlfriend and that he believes Will is intentionally ruining something dear to him, while Will's accusation is more about Mike's inconsiderateness/selfishness. Mike lets Will know Will has influence over him through his willful acts of sabotage whereas Will doesn't even think Mike is considering him at all/he has no influence over Mike because he's too wrapped up in his relationship with El. Will accuses Mike of "ruining our party" because his feelings for Mike go deeper than friendship and therefore he feels neglected when he isn't Mike's priority, and Mike accuses Will of "sabotag[ing] the whole day" because his feelings for Will go deeper than friendship and he feels neglected when he isn't Will's priority.

This parallel just seems like further proof that Will's feelings are reciprocated because there's no way it's a coincidence that both of their signifcant fights in S3/S4 mirror each other so perfectly if the show wasn't trying to communicate that they have mutual romantic feelings/crushes towards one another. They're literally having the exact same argument, but this time it's flipped with Mike expressing disproportionate anger at Will's lack of interest in him. This is great foreshadowing for the #WillfellfirstbutMikefellharder agenda!!

[artist-issues]

Sounds like Moana 2 felt like the rushed tv movie it was supposed to be.

THIS IS THE MOANA 2 CRITIQUE POST

I'm tired of excusing things with the word "rushed." If you have less time to produce, you should simplify what you're trying to say. That way, all your small amount of time can be spent on carefully building the best way to say it. Moana 2 felt very unfocused. It felt like it was trying to say:

"You Can’t Survive in Isolation" (but like why not? why do they need their neighboring islands? Don’t make up a reason—tell me the reason the movie showed you.)

"There's Always Another Way” (what? As opposed to what? One way? What One Way was Moana demonstrably sticking to before the not-really-villainess sang her song? Wasn’t finding that One Way ((“learning where to go by remembering who you are/where you’ve been”)) the whole point of the first movie? Now we’re throwing that out the window?)

"Together But a Little Different" ("Different" as in 'In-New-Circumstances' not "Different" as in 'We’re-Different-So-It’s-Hard-to-Relate-to-One-Another,’ which would've been the better, more cohesive sense of ‘Different’.)

“Something-Something Stories Are Important” (literally they just substitute the phrase “we’ll die” with “our story will end.” No mention of why that’s bad, or what makes a story a story, no reason why stories are important, or what for, just throwing the word “story” around vaguely.)

And none of those "themes" I listed just now had a lot of work put into them. That’s it, in a nutshell. But I can flesh-out my argument for those, and present what I think they could’ve easily done differently, if they’d just picked one and worked hard to make it simply good. SPOILERS BELOW.

“You Can’t Survive in Isolation”

We're told in a quick vision that Moana's people will die if they stay in isolation—but there's no showing us that.

In fact, what we've been shown is that they're thriving, they're fine by themselves. They were in the first movie. They are at the beginning of the second.

So we're not convinced that they need what the whole adventure is supposedly about. Compare that to the first movie! Totally doesn't measure up to the storytelling quality!

In the first movie, the whole first act sets up the idea of darkness reaching through the ocean from Tefiti's missing heart, killing everything. That’s especially bad for Moana’s people. We know that because we’re shown how Moana's people are so deeply connected to the ecosystem of their island, and how every part of it is needed for their way of life to continue—then were also shown that Moana has a deep, personal longing to leave the island. There’s a real connection to home and an urgent need to leave it, and that creates really good emotional tension.

So by the time we're shown (not told in one scene, or through snatches of overdone dialogue, but shown) how the darkness will destroy everything if she doesn't go, we really believe it. We have lots of reasons to empathize with and believe in Moana’s reason for going on this mission. We also feel for her having to make the big decision; we’ve been shown that she’s trying to live up to her responsibilities, and leaving the island would seem like a dismissal of those responsibilities, but we can also see how doing nothing and staying actually would be a dismissal. We feel that tension because they showed us several believable reasons to feel it.

But when Moana is singing “Beyond,” which is supposedly about her conflicting feelings about leaving, and the need to go? I’m just bored. Not emotionally invested. I just saw her going back-and-forth, leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back, one song ago, in “We’re Back.” And everything was fine during that song. Leaving-And-Coming-Back is the dream she’s been living as a voyager. So why is she suddenly convinced it’s a hard decision to…leave-and-plan-to-come-back?

“Because the last voyager died doing this mission she’s about to go on! She might die too!” Okay but all you did was tell me that. You didn’t show me Moana nearly-dying (like she did the first time she tried to cross the reef, or the first time she tried to tackle Te Ka on her own) and then realizing, “gee, oh no, I could die this time,” and then having to make a renewed decision to go anyway. You didn’t put work in, so I don’t believe it.

But the emotion Moana is feeling about leaving is also undercut, like I said, because there doesn’t seem to be a need for her to leave. All they did was tell me that Motunui is in trouble if it stays isolated. But no proof. They were fine isolated from other islands in Moana 1. They have been fine up until now in Moana 2. One random vision of an empty pavilion for three seconds isn’t going to make me forget that and believe that continued isolation will do anything negative to them.

And another thing, what does “uniting with other islands” even mean?” Why would it be such a good thing?

Nobody mentions trade. Nobody mentions learning from one another, or demonstrates learning from one another. Honestly, having Kele teach Moana or Moni or the Kakamora, an actual other-islander, about farming would’ve been a great demonstration of “why we need to meet new people and get out more.”

Having Kele LEARN TO SWIM would have been a SLOW ONE DOWN THE MIDDLE.

But nooo. They just half-bake suggest the idea that the old man doesn’t like leaving his comfort zone, but then never let one of the others have a real conversation with him about why he needs to learn new things from new people. NEVER. It’s just “bouncy vague song, almost-jump-in-the-water-under-coercion BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DO IT, banter and one liners” for the rest of the movie! (And don’t tell me Kele “learning to speak Kakamora” was an example of him “getting out of his comfort zone.” No. Kele never demonstrated a lack of desire to meet and learn new things from strangers. He demonstrated a hatred of fun and the ocean. All the others could also understand the Kakamora literally whenever they needed to, so that wasn’t a special-character-arc for Kele.)

Even though, my point is, they could’ve easily had a character arc for Kele. And that would’ve had something to do with “learn new things from new people, or die stagnant and stuck in your ways,” look, see, a mini-object-lesson in one character’s journey about the theme of the movie. But noooo

They could’ve done the same type of “learn-something-new-or-die” with Moni. Have him be convinced that doing things the “traditional Motunui Wayfinding Way” on this, his first adventure, is the ONLY way to do things. But he’s not good at it, no matter how much head-knowledge he has. And then the Kakamora (or literally any non-Motunui-character) could’ve shown him a newly-developed style for him to learn and grow.

They could’ve done the same type of “learn-something-new-or-die” with Loto. But nope. She just has a really poorly-done, poorly-written, poorly-performed snippet of a song where she mentions how… “perfection is a myth, the journey is just failing, learning, then death, no destination, ever.” But that ridiculous, absolutely absurd worldview is not portrayed as something she’s wrong about or needs to grow out of. It’s portrayed as a good, quirky, revolutionary thing.

But that’s not the same thing as portraying the value I’m describing. Loto just sings about it and invents-and-reinvents canoes. She does not learn how to make canoes from outsiders. She doesn’t learn anything from anybody. She is portrayed as a solitary genius with her own ideas who’s never once shown to be wrong about anything in the whole movie, and everything she tries works. She never messes up or makes a mistake, for all her singing about it. So she never actually “falls on her face, then gets up and learns.” Even though learning from others would be the literal only way for her character to portray the idea of this vague theme they throw out there, “You Can’t Survive in Isolation.”

The point is: there is no reason, in-movie, SHOWN, for the audience to believe that Moana should “re-unite the islands.” There’s no believable demonstration of why that would be a good thing, and no believable demonstration of why not doing it would be a bad thing.

So then why do we care if she risks her life and Maui’s life to re-unite the islands? For a bunch of nameless nobody background characters to show up for a five-second afterparty on Motunui at the end? Ridiculous.

Moving on.

“There’s Always Another Way”

So BUMP ALL THAT, I GUESS.

Matangi, everybody’s Cherished Hope for a New Villain, sings a song and it’s about “get lost, there is no one way, there’s always a different way.”

Fine. Cool. Whatever. The whole point of the first movie was that there’s this symbolic, ancient, WAY of sailing and living your life bravely. And Moana doesn’t know what that One WAY is because her tribe had forgotten it, so she has to learn it. It’s cool, because you navigate by looking at where you’ve been, to see where you’re going. It’s the whole “remember who you are in order to face life’s challenges, not hide from them.” That’s “the Way.” But whatever. Dump that down the toilet, new movie. You know why? Because everybody’s obsessed with “There’s No One Truth,” and “There Is No Right and Wrong,” and “Let’s Experience Things Just to Experience Them, the Journey is the Destination Because We’re not Going Anywhere!” Blah blah blah ridiculous inane sewage slop.

BUT whatever, fine, IF you mean it in a “There’s Lot’s of Ways to Solve Most Problems, Try Try Again,” sense, that’s okay. That’s true for most problems (not all, but most, certainly there are more than one ways to sail.) Sure. that message, if that’s what they mean, is fine. That’s the sense in which Moana takes it, at least, when she dives down to touch the Core Island and break the curse instead of it rising.

But you know what? Yeah. They don’t flesh it out. They don’t take time to show that that’s what’s happening. Moana doesn’t try to teach her new crew how to sail, and they suck at it, but if she lets them do it their own way or whatever, then they work—and she learns there’s “more than one way.” That doesn’t happen.

The Kakamora that joins their team doesn’t solve all his problems with blow darts, or violence, or whatever—and then Moana, or the kindhearted Moni, or the peaceful Kele, tells him, “no, there’s another way, you don’t always have to do things your violent way.” That doesn’t happen.

Loto has one moment where she applies the way she was already living according-to, from the moment we meet her, not a NEW way, to the canoe so that the gang can out-sail magical waterspouts. And it works for like twenty seconds, is played like a great triumph, before they all get smashed into the ocean anyway.

Kele, again, would’ve been a great example of “learn to do things in a different way, or problem-solve by try-trying again.” Because he’s old and they set him up as hating life for no reason and not wanting to do new things. But they didn’t do anything with him.

And guess what else—at the end—when Moana has her own demigod powers, and her own magical-arm-tattoo ripped off from Tears of the Kingdom—guess what her magic power is?

To stick her oar in the water, and light up one current or “path” for the boat to take to a new destination.

A Path. ONE SINGULAR SOLITARY WAY.

Not “a new way.” Not “all possible ways.” Not “multiple ways.” Not even two ways. One. Even though the big lesson she sacrificed her life for, even though the one and only song Matangi got to sing, was about how “there’s always another way.”

WHILE they’re singing a reprise of, “We Know THE Way.”

It’s like being in a conversation with someone who starts a sentence and then forgets what they were saying halfway through, and winds up saying worse than nothing.

“Together, But a Little Different”

Like I said, if you told me that the Main Point of the movie (not one of many vague ideas, but the Main Point) was “Together, But a Little Different,” I immediately would’ve said:

“Oh, so it’s about having to adjust to long-distance relationships. Maybe even death.” Or, maybe, because I saw the trailers, I’d go, “Oh, so it’s about keeping what makes us unique, but uniting when we need to, in spite of our differences. ‘Together, But a Little Different.’”

No. It’s not about any of that. It’s just a phrase the Grandma’s Ghost says whenever she hugs Moana to remind her that she’s still “with her.” She’s still with her; she just glows and can shapeshift into a manta ray now! That has tons of application for real life. 🙄

It’s supposed to be her words of comfort to pass on to Moana, who can then pass it on to the people in her island, so they know that she won’t “ever really leave them.” But like. Then why should I care that she’s leaving them? Why should that be sad? If there’s no sacrifice in being apart, in leaving for the adventure, then the adventure keeps feeling low-stakes and boring and kind of pointless.

If you tilt your head and squint, it’s also maybe-applying to Moana’s pointless ugly annoying Little Sister character, Simea. Simea is in the movie so that someone can be immature for three seconds about how Moana’s always gone from home. And I do mean exactly three seconds, that’s all the emotional drama we get, and it’s not built up to either. She says, “Never come back? -sniff sniffle- I don’t want you to gooo!” And then runs away and then Moana takes a break from singing the next day to briefly explain to Simea about how she can pass messages through the ocean. Then she’s fine.

But the way this theme is thrown around, you think it would mean, “Moana Has to Go Away Sometimes, But if You Remember Her She Never Leaves You.”

But seriously. Again I say to you, who cares? We know Moana is coming back. We know that. Nobody in the audience seriously believes she’s never coming back when she leaves for this adventure. If we did, maybe we’d care that Simea cares. But we don’t.

Even when Moana “dies,” and it’s the perfect time to be like, “seeee, what we feeeared has happened, she’s dead, she can never go home to Simea!” THERE IS NO FOLLOW-THROUGH. There’s not even a cut to Simea back on Motonui, feeling through the ocean or the Force or whatever movie mumbo-jumbo that her sister is gone. And there is not even a deadline, in the movie, for Moana to accomplish this mission, so it’s not like she could be running late and we could get some scenes of Moana’s family mourning. Simea having to do something, take some big step, that show’s she’s willing to go on even if she can’t be with Moana anymore because she believed Moana about how she’s always with her—something like that.

My point is, Simea has no real point, so she doesn’t add to this “Together, But Different.” idea at all. And we already know that it doesn’t mean, “overcome our differences” from what I said in the first Theme.

But what they could have done? They COULD have gone whole-hog and MADE MOANA A BELIEVABLE DEMIGOD. Instead of a vague joke about tattoos that leaves the question open-ended, a pointless and theme-breaking display of shiny superpowers, and no other change to the status quo—

—they could’ve shown that there are consequences to that action—maybe she’s a Demigod of Navigation, or something like that, and the condition is, she can sail around connecting islands, but she can never stay on one too long. So she’ll never be able to live with Simea and her parents again on Motunui, but it’s the price she has to pay to connect the islands. Then she’d have to show Simea how they can still be “Together, Just a Little Different.”

Or someone could’ve gotten hurt or disabled, giving off the idea that even though everything is “different,” they can still be “together.”

Maui could’ve died and passed his fishhook powers, AND MINI MAUI, on to Moni or Moana. “Together, but different.”

Nothing, nothing at all like that happens. It’s just a pretty phrase that could’ve meant something, but any meaning it actually has hamstrings the whole emotional weight of the story instead of fueling it.

“Something-Something Stories Are Important”

The thing here is. I already said it. You can’t just say words and expect them to be impactful, in a story. You’re supposed to show what they mean and why they’re true, and THAT’S what creates an impact.

So when you’re talking about “stories” in a story, you definitely should not have nothing to say.

And I can feel it. I’ve seen none of the promotional material, I don’t watch the interviews, I haven’t checked BuzzFeed or ScreenRant or the Disney Youtube page in a while, but I can feel it.

I can feel them trying to say, “Something Something, ‘Storytelling’ is a big part of Pacific Islander Culture!” I can imagine the headlines. “[Actor or Disney Exec Name Here] Invites You to Celebrate Your Story with Pacific Islander Heritage Month!” They’re so into “culture as a marketing tool” these days.

But they say it so lazily. Just repeating the word “story” over and over in the movie doesn’t pay tribute to how important “stories” are to Pacific Islanders. Or to anybody.

You know what makes stories impactful? They point at truth, when the darkness and misunderstandings and evil of the world threaten to distract you or hide the truth. That’s what makes stories impactful. I’m sure Pacific Islanders use stories in that way—to pass on what they believe to be true, in a way that can be retold and remembered.

So MAKE THAT THE THEME OF YOUR MOVIE. Instead of just having Moana replace “Nalo wants to kill us” with “Nalo wants to end our story” for Empty Effect—instead of having Grandma say something about “your e

Okay okay.

Nalo is a silly, lazy villain. He is clearly a Thanos rip-off in design and introduction in a literal post-credits scene, and his most-present form, in the movie, is just a big ocean thunderstorm. But the laziest thing about him is that he’s the Conflict that everyone is trying to rise up and overcome, and the whole reason he sunk the Island was “He gets power from humans being divided.”

That’s never explained. It’s never shown at all why he gets power from the vague “humans are divided” thing. He has no scenes. He has no interactions with other characters (till the end-credits scene.) A range of his power, like “here’s what it looks like when the humans are divided—oh, now here’s how much less-powerful he is when they’re together!” is never shown. So. No consequences if the heroes fail, no change to the status-quo, villain-wise, when they win.

If Nalo wanted to end their stories, though, that would be another thing.

Stories are meant to be told. They’re for the benefit of others. So what they should’ve done is made the secret key of Nalo’s power hidden. Unknown. Nobody knows how to beat him. And he’s not sinking some unfindable island in another dimension. He’s just devouring the resources of the weather with his ever-more-powerful storms, (kind of like the darkness leaking through the ocean from the first movie) and nobody can stop him.

But that’s because each island, around Oceania, has clues to how to beat him. Clues in their stories. But they can only sail so far from what they know before his storms kill them. So he’s literally making them weaker by using his power to keep them apart, and making himself stronger by defending his weakness. Now they can’t Wayfind to each other, and learn one another’s cultural advancements or stories or beauties, because Nalo is powerful enough to make storms that rip their boats apart. But if they could learn from one another’s stories about the things their ancestors used against him, they could get rid of him.

That’s what they should’ve done. Shown why Nalo was a threat and how the Main Theme was the key to overcoming that threat.

They did not do that.

They made stories just a hot button word to be thrown around with no impact. In a story.

The point of this post is that Moana 2 had a lot of potentially-good points, and it made none of them, so it was totally unsatisfying. If it had just focused on one, the other little benefits they were trying to fit in could’ve been mentioned more naturally.

The way that Beauty & the Beast is all about ONE theme: “True Love is Self-Sacrificial.” But because of the tools it uses to tell that story—a beast that it would take a lot of self-sacrifice to be stuck with forever—you get little side-themes thrown in, supporting and draping decoratively over the ONE theme: “Beauty is Found Within, So Don’t Be Deceived By Appearances,” etc.

Moana 2 should’ve just picked the Story One, and it could’ve had that theme, and it’s cultural-nod cake, and it’s unifying-effect cake, and EATEN IT TOO.

And we could’ve eaten it. And WE could’ve enjoyed it! But no. Money money money lazy lazy lazy.

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻

[nevertheless-moving]

binged dungeon meshi anime + manga after numerous tumblr posts and leg injury. thoughts based on fandom > manga> anime ride:

[SPOILERS FOR MANGA]

senshi pantyshot fanservice much appreciated but... should really be more lingering and inexplicably glistening if its gonna match up to fanservice in other animes

no yeah TOTALLY get why toshiro just said fuck it and went home after... all that. days of no food. blase dark magic/you were too late reveal. long repressed slapfight that he probably felt equally guilty and angry about. girl he loved appeared as GIANT MONSTER and BRUTALLY killed HIS FAMILY.

girl he loved STOPPED TO PULL HER TITS OUT midway through BRUTALLY KILLING HIS FAMILY.

i'd go home too

also , Maricelle, all the love in the world, but i get why everyone was mad about the dark magic. i mean it looked bad. WE know that thistle interfered but the situation looked BAD ngl maricelle i would not want you healing me either after falin appearance.

feel like changeling maricelle should have been half half-foot/half-dwarf or something like that. would have been fun half-elf reveal to party. actually bothers me that she wasn't? the more i think about it. i mean itzumi was still cat/kobold.

incredibly belated but looking back at changeling episode...is senshi shirtless the whole time???

okay nevermind did some extensive research and i'm fairly sure he wasn't

also thinking back about senshi — he absolutely knew what he was doing with setting off the traps and pissing chilchuck off...my man was living here for decades.

kabru/laois is both more and less textually present than i would have thought based on fandom.

like on one hand they barely interact. on the other hand they barely interact and Kabru is VERY much obsessed . they have ONE (1) conversation. much hilarity has been observed about that dialogue so i digress

and there is ZERO new information between that interaction and kabru planning on putting the man on a THRONE. at some unclear point his career goal becomes having his lips at this man's ear and a dagger at his neck ???

i cannot stress this enough: he invests SO EARLY in king Laios. willing to sacrifice his life for this to be realized. goal oriented. unhinged. good for him.

you could say it's just him being practical and choosing the best option based on available information but incredibly relevant new information becomes available and Kabru is STILL locked in

i'm crying over kabru 'compressing' mithran's backstory. sure as a meta framing device fine. but in universe? BONKERS. narrative critiquing clinically depressed man's tragic backstory. Super normal move.

so much nuance and different perspectives on fantasy interracial marriages and adoptions and its SO SO GOOD.

gnawing on the walls kinda worldbuilding seriously

so thistle was a teenager when this all started. that's what i'm getting. that's... man there's a lot of layers of tragedy.

wait so if elves and half-foots look ambiguously young do tallmen look ambiguously old?? wrinkly gangly old old wrinkly fuckers??? or burning the candle at both ends terrible looking tall child???

hey i'm starting to think that the monster who controls all monsters... might not be a good guy

'Delgal' holding thistle at the end ... i'm not crying. you're crying.

impossible to say if laois won the final battle on purpose or not

genuinely no idea

11/10 no notes about that fact

[fadelbison]

i don't really follow gmm couples closely but i thought firstkhao was one of gmm's biggest, what do you mean they're not that popular in thailand 😭😭

asdfghjkjhgf okay??? soo all this started because I was at my LAST straw when I saw a fan complaining that gmm prejudiced against first and he needs more work on twt (he already works *SO* much) and after having to see a series of gmm crits that were basically [insert false causalities/ metaphysically impossible demands] I lost my mind a little. [but actually its because im already pretty cuckoo bananas but I digress]

Then @fromthedepthsandbeyond brought to my attention this estimate (are you the op?) of events and brand sponsorships from last year where it shows that FirstKhao as a CP are in fact extremely popular but not at all popular as solo artists. And unfortunately I think this is just reality - they work really well together but I was actually both their 'solo' fans before they paired up. More khaotung than First and they are unfortunately just a little too kooky for mainstream popularity. I genuinely think Joong is trying to help Khaotung with roping him into TikTok dances and constantly promoting him on his own channel and IG broadcast because boy do First and Khaotung do nothing mainstream on IG. its only happy birthdays, promo work, promo cp, promo each other and khaotung's blurry artsy fuckboi photos. What can I say, that's what I like, that's what the people who like them like. I hope they don't change (but I know they're trying to). I would say, that actually they are quite popular given how far they veer from traditional masculinity...like they're pretty queer? Gun's numbers are exactly the same as them. Like I don't think GMM can do anything about that. I genuinely don't think GMM can do anything about the next bit either (at least in regards to FK they are very much fucking up other things)

What I was a little surprised by perhaps was this report by another fan who went to their building this summer (2024) and FK just had a mural on the second floor basement. I know that at some point they had some type of pillar on the ground level. Now, the events numbers are outdated and I follow them on socmed fairly close - they might not be getting sponsorships but they're not jobless. even at the times they're quiet or disappear when they resurface it turns out that they were series prepping or in workshops.

I don't know what to say, they're very queer coded, they take challenging jobs and are involved in projects and with creators that are invested in making some unique art which is rare at gmmtv something that everyone here loves to incessantly yell about (for good reason at times).

I don't know how to say this so that it doesn't sound totally insane but to be more popular they have to act straighter???? They actually have to look like they want to fuck a woman, like at least that they think about it instead of just each other. Like they tried so hard to make First's character straight in blacklist -A VALIANT attempt one would say and he still ended up having more chemistry with Drake and the 4 seconds he spent with khaotung on screen 😭 JoongDunk and PondPhuwin are just not like that??? I follow Joong and Pond on IG too and they are in fact able to breathe without their respective pair present. They are so so so so in love when together, bring each other up quite a bit when they're solo but they're not living inside the other's pocket if that makes sense? Sorry I ranted so long??? and for what?? but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want Firstkhao to be popular but I also don't want them to change at the cost of mainstream popularity (though I understand why they're trying) - they are so worryingly codependent and wonderfully weird 🤧🤧🤧🤧

[yuna542]

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 22<-

Part 23

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, COMFORT

Warnings: 18+, Smut, under 18 DNI!, pet names, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Overstimulation, Jealousy, ANGST, explicit smut, confessions, fluff

Word Count: 8.1k

Note: Mh. This Part was pure therapy for me… I really hope I could make up for the last Parts and the emotional trauma I put you through. It’s unbelievable how many people are invested in my work. Thank you so much! Every comment, reblog etc motivates me to keep going.

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

You laid in your bed with your cell phone firmly in your hand, but you avoided looking at the screen as if something might jump out of it and attack you.

Your gaze had been fixed on the ceiling for some time, and you tried to think of something other than Chan and the argument. The aching in your head was by now unbearable and you wanted to stop so bad, that you thought about getting something out of the minibar. You would violate your strict no-alcohol rule on tour. But what else had any meaning at all?

After you returned from the beach, Felix had gone straight back to his room to call his family and talk about the concert they would attend tomorrow and Han had disappeared into the hotel gym with Changbin.

When you returned to your hotel room to check your notifications, you noticed the message from Chan.

It was from last night, when you were already fast asleep.

"I'm with my family. I'll see you at the show. Get some rest and watch the boys for me. ~Chan

You instantly felt shabby. He had let you know despite your argument and you had just read over it and then blamed him because you were just caught up with your anger at him.

Just his name on your screen caused such an extreme feeling of emptiness inside you that you felt sick and you missed him with your entire soul, even though you had seen him just a few hours ago. The argument and that you couldn't just go to him, talk to him only made it worse.

As soon as you saw he was online, you almost threw your phone across the room. When he called just a second after, your body was paralyzed.

You didn't manage to answer, afraid of what he might say to you.

As soon as his name disappeared from your phone again and a missed call was displayed, you kicked the blanket off yourself like a petulant child and cried out of anger.

Anger at yourself. Anger against the world.

You hadn't picked up the phone since, and the carousel of worry ran incessantly in your head.

You were absolutely dreading the show tomorrow and the only thing you wanted right now was to look Chan in the eye, feel his heartbeat and breathe in his scent.

Looking out the window, you realized that dusk would soon be setting in and the hotel room suddenly felt awfully cramped. When your head was about to burst, you dared to look at your cell phone again, but there was no message from Chan. At least not for you.

On Bubble, on the other hand, he had written a message just a few seconds after the call.

"Today Channies Room from a special place. Anyone who needs distraction too is welcome. 6pm?"

Distraction? Did that have something to do with you or were you now completely delusional?

Glancing at the clock, you scooted over to your laptop and flipped it open. The stream had been running for a few minutes and you just wanted to watch it.

After a few clicks, his face actually appeared and your heart leapt when you saw his curly hair and tired smile. He was talking to Stay and just explained that he was in his old bedroom at home now that you were finally in Australia.

He looked stunning in just a hoodie, with those mesmerizing eyes and bare face. It was unfair how someone this kind and humble could be that beautiful.

Mutely you listened to his voice and caught yourself smiling as he sheepishly responded to cute comments or joked around with fans. You loved to listen to his little stories, telling everyone about the many medals behind him, he won at swimming competitions, about his family and how his mom cried when he surprised her today.

Still, there remained a dull underlying mood that he couldn't hide. Quickly, there were also a lot of questions all over the comments asking if everything was okay with him.

He cleared his throat and propped his head on his hands before reading aloud:

"Is everything okay?"

He thought for a few seconds about the best thing to say, but his familiar surroundings and distance from JYP made him let his walls down a bit.

"To be honest, it could be better. Actually, I shouldn't be telling this at all.... I had a fight with someone I care about a lot and because I'm too stubborn to realise it in time, I really screwed up.... I did something stupid and made it worse by being emotional and even more stupid."

Immediately there was wild speculation about who he might be talking about. The names of the boys were written in the comments, but especially your name appeared more and more often.

"No, no. Not with the menbers."

That was the answer to the question. It was obvious that he meant you, because no one else was on tour with him that was so important to him. The fans knew that, and by now everyone who read the Kpop News headlines knew that.

You sat up on the bed and stared spellbound at the screen.

Chan tilted his head a little, laughed sheepishly as he always did when he wanted to disguise his true feelings, and ran his hand through his hair.

"It's just that I really regret it, but I think it might already be too late to make up for everything.... And that would be terrible."

He made a small pause and you could hear your heart dropping to the floor.

„She's so special and I would love to tell her how important she is to me. How much I love everything about her and that she deserves so much more... I did her really wrong."

He was silent for a moment obviously drifting off and then quickly shook his head as he saw the comments escalate.

His words were already conjuring up tears again, even though you thought you had none left.

A desperate whiney: „Channie", escaped your trembling lips.

Suddenly, your field of vision became blurry and you sniffled emphatically as you frantically wanted to touch him, but your fingers only met the hard surface of your screen.

"I don't know... I just don't want to lose her. She's not only smart, beautiful and talented in everything she does. She's my best friend and I can't lose that. I don't know how I would move on. I just couldn't..."

That was enough to make you jump up from the bed and search your phone for old documents. You ran the back of your hand over your face while crying like a little kid and finally you found what you were looking for.

You grabbed your denim jacket, your bag, and closed your laptop before storming out of the hotel room and stopping a cab in front of the hotel.

At your tear-stained face, the driver frowned, but took the address without asking.

With the inside camera of your cell phone you tried to get your face back under control, but even when you got out of the car half an hour later, your eyes were still red.

Wearing only shorts and a much too large rumpled shirt from Changbin, you rang the front doorbell and with a glance at the doorbell sign, you automatically smiled.

An older woman with familiar brown eyes opened and peered suspiciously through the crack first.

"Hello?"

"Good evening. I'm really sorry for the intrusion, Mrs Bang. My name is..." but that's as far as you got, as she pulled open the door and her face lit up. You bowed apologetically several times, but she was already stepping out to you. The resemblance to Chan was now unmistakable and his radiance was reflected in her smile.

"I know who you are! Y/N! Chan has talked a lot about you. I recognize you from the picture he showed. You're just more beautiful in real life," she talked away and you smiled overwhelmed.

Chan had shown his family pictures of you and even talked about you?

"Come in quick! It's nice to finally meet you," she said and shooed you into the house.

Immediately you were enveloped by pleasant smells from the kitchen and you curiously looked around the hallway of the house.

Directly you discovered Chan's shoes and his backpack on the floor.

"Thank you very much. The pleasure is all mine."

After you kicked off your shoes, she led you into the living room where Mr. Bang was sitting on an armchair and looked up as soon as you entered. The little white-brown dog that Chan kept showing you pictures of immediately scurried around your feet and sniffed at you curiously.

"This is Y/L/N Y/N!", Mrs Bang introduced you and Mr Bang raised his eyebrows. Your mere name was enough and they knew who you were. That was strange but kind of nice. You couldn't help but kneel down to the cute puppy and pet him until she wagged her tail excitedly. "Hey Berry. Nice to finally meet you," you said, giggling when she licked your cheek.

"Chris didn't say anything about his manager coming to visit," Chan‘s Dad said, and you stood up and bowed respectfully, your cheeks flushed. Chan's father exuded the same competence that he did, only he didn't radiate that warmth that everybody immediately sensed when they were around Chan. But it was obvious that he had been just as handsome as a young man.

"That's right. He doesn't know I'm here, but I really need to talk to him. This couldn't wait. I'm really sorry if I'm interrupting, Mr Bang," you apologized, but his wife waved you off and stroked your back reassuringly.

„Oh nonsense! You're just in time. We'll be eating soon. I hope you're hungry."

Then you were not mistaken and the delicious smell came from the kitchen where Mrs. Bang was cooking.

"Thank you, that's very kind," you said, feeling a gaze on you.

Turning around, you saw a young woman with dark hair, big eyes and the unmistakable features of Chan. She was leaning against the doorjamb with her arms crossed, looking at you with a mysterious smile.

"Hannah say hello, this is Chris's manager," Mrs Bang said when she saw the young woman as well. She pushed herself off the door frame and came toward you.

"I know who she is. You really are as pretty as in the videos..." she murmured, holding out her hand to you. She was your age and you wanted to meet her since Chan told you a lot about her. Actually you seemed to be very alike and it was almost like you already knew each other.

With cheeks flushed with excitement, you took her hand and smiled.

"I'm Hannah. The idiot's sister."

You nodded, and the same warmth that Chan radiated was palpable in her. But she was confident and firm, even though she was a little younger than you.

"Can I go see him? I really need to talk to him," you asked, and she leaned against the doorframe again. Her intense gaze seemed to scan you until she said:

"He's in his room. Talking to his fans."

"Thanks."

You could hardly stand it any longer. All the tension made you tremble, and you went up the stairs to where Hannah had pointed.

Outside the door you heard his voice already muffled and without thinking further you rushed into the room and as you saw Chan in front of his computer, eyes wide and a confused look on his face a sob ripped from your throat. He jumped up and ran a few steps towards you, but you had already thrown yourself at him and wrapped your arms around him. Confused, he froze and after a few seconds he returned your embrace firmly. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, your body shaken with relieved sobs as you tried to be as close to him as possible.

Completely surprised, he sucked in your scent, enjoying feeling your body against his at last, holding your slim waist and wrapping his big arms around you, even if he didn't understand how you could suddenly appear at his family's house.

"Y/N what? How...?" he stammered, overwhelmed, but you only pressed yourself tighter against his chest until you were standing on tiptoe.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry," you whispered and his strong arms held you so tightly that all your fear and sadness vanished into thin air. You were with him and that was enough.

When his arms slid down your back and you loosened a little to look him in the eyes, he gulped loudly. Your eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, your lips swollen and your heart racing so he could feel it against his chest.

You were beautiful and he cupped your face with both hands, wanting to kiss every tear of yours away and never let you go again.

But then he remembered the stream again. Panicked, he looked at the screen. The chat was going crazy and the comments were popping up so fast that you couldn't read anything.

You could only be seen from the chest down and you were barely in the picture, yet it was clear who was lying there in his arms, who he was holding so tightly and he gently detached himself from you to lean in front of the camera and said:

"Okay I have to end the stream now unfortunately. I'll see you next time. Stays and Baby Stays! Big hug!"

He did his typical goodbye and as soon as he turned off the computer, he turned back to you, still unable to comprehend that you were now actually standing in his old room where he spent half his childhood.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a soft voice, coming up to you.

"I was watching the stream. Heard what you said about me. Chan I'm so sorry."

When your voice shook and he saw how tense your fingers were closed around the hem of your shirt, he quickly pulled you close, put his hands on your hips and leaned his forehead against yours.

"No... I acted like an asshole. I'm sorry, baby. It was my fault from the beginning. I should have told you about the kiss, then I would have told you straight up that it didn't mean anything because I only want to kiss you! I want you and nothing else! I am selfish and stupid. I want you to be jealous like I am when I see you with someone other than my members. I want you to want me as much as I want you..."

The words he should have said to you in the hotel, or even earlier, finally burst forth and your breath rattled as you clasped your hands in his neck.

He looked into your eyes, stroked your cheek and the contours of your face that he had missed so much, and now as you smiled with relief his heart fluttered like a wild bird in his chest.

"I do. Chan I can't go on without you. The last few hours have been hell. Why did you do that? Why did you just leave?"

The guilty conscience he had felt all along returned violently and he pulled you onto his lap as he sat down on the edge of his bed, caressing your thighs and enjoying the way your body nestled perfectly against his.

"I thought it would be best to stay away. You didn't seem like you wanted me around."

"Now I'm here..."

He laughed incredulously and ran his hands through his hair. He looked outrageously handsome in the hoodie and sweatpants, which made you bite your lips as he leaned back a bit to get a closer look at you.

"This is incredible. You're here... You're actually here! How do you even know where my family lives?"

You smiled and played with the rings on his fingers. Holding his hand tightly in yours, you intertwined his hand with yours.

"You told me a few times to send flowers to your mother."

Chan nodded slowly and smiled so brightly that you exhaled heavily.

"True... Sometimes I forget that you're my manager."

You let go of his hand, leaning forward and nuzzling his neck before lightly touching his with your lips.

"Me too..."

You both grinned, each other's breath colliding against your lips, and that's when you finally kissed him. It was like a thousand butterflies were buzzing around in your stomach and the reason for your tears was barely tangible anymore.

He pulled you back with him until he was on his back, stroking his hands under the gray shirt and caressing your skin all over, with his fingertips, while biting your bottom lip. Sighing, you nestled your body against him until your chest was pressed tightly against his, opened your lips a little and already your tongues were meeting, playing with each other, and you were lost in a whirlpool of feelings.

His warmth, the tangy smell of his perfume mixed with his own smell let everything bubble up in you.

You absorbed everything in you. His body beneath you, his strong arms wrapped tightly around you, every movement and every breath.

Pure happiness flooded you and Chan's presence enclosed you in your own world. No one could take this moment from you and as you continued to deepen the kiss, touching each other, caressing, the heat inevitably rose.

The touches became fiercer, more demanding and you felt how much he had missed you.

You didn't know how long you just laid there, kissing and touching. Your bodies intertwined as Chan let out a deep grumble and firmly grabbed your ass with both hands.

Softly you gasped out as he pressed your hips against his in such a way that you could clearly feel his hard length against your cunt through the fabric of his sweatpants.

"I missed you so fucking much," he whispered, his eyes like jet black tar, glued to you and never going to let you go.

His hair was curly, messy, his skin soft and shiny.

You loved it when he dreamily studied your features, as if nothing else mattered.

"I'm here, and I'm not leaving," you assured him, playing with the collar of his hoodie. He was wearing way too many clothes.

You longed for the warmth of his skin on yours.

"Good... You are mine. You belong to me and my members. I want you to know that I only have eyes for you. Not for that stylist or anyone else."

You smiled softly, waving it off:

"It's all good, Chan. I believe you."

You didn't want him to worry anymore. The arrangement was dangerous enough as it was. He couldn't and shouldn't commit himself or even tell a potential admirer that he was taken.

But Chan's expression turned serious. All the things you had said in the argument played over and over in his head for the last few hours like a horror movie.

Suddenly he grabbed you by the waist, turned you until you were under him and looked you so deeply in the eyes that you swallowed loudly.

"You're not just a fuck toy to me. You are so much more! You are the sun... fuck it, the whole universe to me."

He sounded desperate, like he couldn't even begin to put into words what he was feeling. His fingers moved gently across your shoulders, up your neck until they reached your cheeks. You closed your eyes and leaned into his hand, losing yourself in the moment. At a loss for words, the intensity in his eyes threatening to crush you, you smiled and murmured:

"Sounds like song lyrics."

Chan snorted in amusement and kissed your temple:

"You're right. I should write that down."

At that, you shook your head slightly, wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him to you.

"Not now..."

He immediately returned the kiss stormily. You grew hungrier, all the tension transferred into pure energy and lust that carried you away on a cloud.

You slid your hands under his hoodie and he helped you take it off. Finally you could touch his abs, roaming your fingertips over them until he gasped and he too slid his hands inside your shorts, tight to your ass until they slid up and he could grab a handful, with the other hand he pushed the shirt up until he grabbed your chest and you groped each other greedily, floating higher and higher into desire and as you rolled your hips against his you felt how aroused he was.

"Fuck I'm so hard.... Thought about you so much," he panted against your ear, kissing your neck and kneading your chest until a loud gasp escaped you. Your body and his were so close that they melted into each other.

"Thought about your soft skin..." he whispered and sucked on your neck, pressing his dick right against your cunt.

"Your sweet scent... Fuck and your pussy. I need to fuck you so bad," he panted, grinded his hips against yours until you clenched your hands against his back.

"Channie..." you gasped, your head filled only with desire.

"Sorry to bother you, but dinner's ready if you're hungry."

Startled, you both froze and looked to the door, where Hannah stood with her arms crossed and a big grin on her face.

Chan was trying to cover you up as best he could, but you couldn't come up with a meaningful lie as to why he was lying on top of you half-naked, his hands everywhere he weren't supposed to touch his manager.

"Hannah out! Now!" he yelled at her, but she just giggled and examined you.

"It's okay. Relax. You are lucky it's just me. You guys better come. Otherwise mom will come upstairs."

With those words, she disappeared and you pressed both heels of your hands to your eyes, your head flushed.

Chan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about that," he muttered, and when your eyes finally met, you couldn't help but laugh heartily.

Chuckling, he buried his face against your neck and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

"Come on, we better not keep my parents waiting," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your stomach, then he looked up at you, eyes shining, and you felt weightless as you nodded.

As soon as you entered the kitchen, your stomach growled at the smell of the feast Mrs. Bang had prepared.

"There you are. Sit down and help yourselves before it gets cold!" she said, and you tried your best to ignore Hannah's intense gaze. You sat down, you across from Chan, next to Mr Bang and Hannah.

Once you were all seated, you tilted your head:

"Thank you for the food and the spontaneous hospitality."

Mr Bang started to eat and waved off:

"Don't mention it. We know how much you do for our Chris."

Chan smirked:

"I don't think so"

Directly your cheeks reddened treacherously as Chan was already grinning into his Miso soup.

"That's true. Chan always tells us about you. How hard you work and take care of the boys."

Your heart beat faster and Chan just stared at you with a big grin.

"That's my job and the boys are like my family now," you told them and the Bangs listened intently.

Then Hannah tilted her head:

"But you and Chris get along particularly well?"

You almost choked on the kimchi you had shoved in your mouth and Chan gave Hannah a warning look. But his parents also looked interested.

"Um... I get along with everyone really well. We live together, after all."

"How can you stand it? With eight young men?" sighed Mrs. Bang, shaking her head anxiously. You smirked a little then.

"It's exhausting sometimes, but they all always look out for me. And we work so much that it's actually rather nice when we see each other in the dorm."

Chan looked relieved and his shoulders slumped. His eyes kept wandering over your face, your body, and he wanted so much to tell his family how much he adored you. That you weren't just a valued friend and manager, but the person who gave him everything he needed.

"I hope so," Mr. Bang gave Chan a sharp look.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" asked then Hannah curiously, and Chan kicked her shin under the table, making her hiss.

"She can sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch in my room."

Chan's parents seemed pleased with that, only Hannah raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Really? I thought you guys..."

But she fell silent as Chan stared at her warningly. Your cheeks were glowing by now, and you tried to distract yourself with the omelet, which tasted impossibly good.

The silence grew more oppressive, as did the frowns of the siblings' parents, so you unceremoniously cleared your throat, drawing attention to yourself.

"We'll have to leave bright and early tomorrow. Rehearsals for the performance start at 9."

Quickly, the questioning looks turned to vehement nods.

"Oh yes!"

Mrs. Bang's face beamed.

"We're already so excited to be able to see Chris live tomorrow."

Chan smiled and you could see nervousness flash in his eyes for the first time in a long time.

"So how does it work tomorrow?" asked Mr. Bang with interest, to which you replied:

"You will be picked up by a shuttle and then taken backstage with Felix's family before the show. For the show, I've picked out the best seats for all the family members."

Excitedly, Mrs Bang laughed and Hannah smiled too. Mr Bang nodded and you looked at Chan who was looking at you with affection.

The meal took its course, there was chatter and Chan's family treated you warmly, making you feel right at home.

But you didn't miss Chan nervously wiggling his foot, clearing his throat several times when his mother didn't stop asking you questions about JYPE or about Chan and the boys.

He was impatient, couldn't bear to just look at you now after pining for you for the past few days.

He wanted to kiss your lips, touch your skin until you gasped and finally escape the scrutiny of his family.

Finally, as Mrs. Bang was about to start a new question, just as the conversation about choosing the right outfits was finishing, he slapped both palms on the table and stood up:

"That was very tasty, Mom. Thank you. But we really should get to sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

You looked down into your lap to hide the telltale grin.

After helping clean up, you said your goodbyes for the night, but before you were really out of the room, Chan grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder.

Gasping, you clawed at his back as he pressed his hands tightly against your lower legs.

"Channie! What are you doing?" you giggled as he carried you up the stairs.

"I can't stand it another second. I need you, now, under me, naked."

He opened the door and pushed it shut with his foot, then tossed you onto his bed, literally ripping the shirt off his body.

You smiled excitedly and eyed his toned stomach.

"I have some things to make up for. I acted like an idiot and I need to show you that I'm sorry."

You slowly fell onto your back as he climbed over you and the grinned meanly.

"You got that right."

He snorted and bit your neck, making you giggle.

You greedily ran your hands up his abs, over his shoulders, and his biceps hovering next to your head.

He just looked at you, his face just a hand's width away from yours, his eyes shining like a whole galaxy and his curls tempting you to touch them. You dreamily stroked your index finger down his cheeks, over his lips and to his chin. You had missed this so much and now you knew that you could never live without him again. Your heart wanted him and in the last few days you would rather die than fight with him.

"You mean the whole fucking world to me, you know that?"

His voice was raspy, honest, and your cheeks turned red.

"Stop it, Channie... You're making me blush."

You tried to hide your face in your hands, but he unceremoniously pushed them aside.

"No. I want you to know that. I never want you to doubt that I want you again! I trust you with parts of myself I'm afraid to show anyone else. And I know I'm not the only one of us there."

Your heart pounded so loudly you had to swallow. His body weight rested comfortably on yours and you returned his eye contact.

"I'm afraid of losing you. I was so afraid of hurting you so much that I lost you.... I don't deserve you after everything I've done..."

He shook his head, desperation in his eyes, and you put a hand on his chest, right over his heart, so he was looking at you.

"I'm yours. Not going anywhere."

After so long of not having togetherness, the stress and work always kept you from it, even though you lived under the same roof. That's exactly why right now, this moment was so special.

He nodded slowly, seeming to calm down. You pulled him closer until he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, buried his face against your neck, and took a deep breath. This embrace, his chest against yours, his body on top of yours was as intimate as anything you'd ever felt in your life. You stroked his soft curls, heard his soft grumble and kissed his cheek, hoping not to burst into tears with emotion.

Suddenly, Chan's cell phone rang on the nightstand. But he did not move. Didn't dare to take his arms from you. You were more important right now.

However, who would call in the middle of the night if it wasn't important?

"Chan? This must be important," you mumbled, but he just grumbled and pulled you even closer.

Sighing, you stretched and got hold of the cell phone. You recognized Changbin's name on the screen and handed it to Chan after you answered the call.

He straightened up a bit, groaned, and then put the phone to his ear.

"Yes?"

Changbin's voice sounded excited, worried.

"Y/N has disappeared. Do you know where she is? Hyunjin said she's not in her room and she's not in Felix's bed either. We searched the whole hotel, but she just left without saying anything."

Immediately you slapped your hand over your mouth. You hadn't thought of that at all when you had left in a hurry. The boys were probably worried all along.

"She's here. With me."

"Oh... Good."

Changbin sounded puzzled, yet equally relieved.

"She's with Chan," he clarified to the listeners in the background.

"All right. I'm relieved then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Chan hung up and you exhaled with a guilty conscience.

"Shit I just took off without telling them..."

Chan brushed the strands of hair from your face and kissed your lips briefly.

"It's all good. Now they know."

You smiled at the warmth in his smile and pulled him down to kiss you. Quickly the kiss grew more heated and he finally pulled your shirt over your head to look at your breasts.

"No bra huh?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, cupping one of your breasts with his large hand.

"I was in a hurry," you laughed, wrapping your legs around his hips to pull him closer. The heat between your legs was by now unbearable and there you felt that he was also struggling with his arousal the whole time. His presence and touch felt just as you remembered it, warm and hard, yet strangely soft and comforting at the same time.

He began kissing your neck, letting his lips brush lovingly over your skin, hissing as you rolled your hips against his.

"Fuck I was so hard the whole evening..."

You shuddered as he sank his teeth into the sensitive spot behind your ear.

"You just have to promise me you'll never touch Mina again, or look at her," you muttered and that's when he lifted his head and frowned with a smirk.

"Babe she's our stylist..."

Yes it was childish, but you were jealous as hell and couldn't help it. On the side you pulled down his pants, which he watched with wide eyes.

"I know... It just drives me crazy. She's into you and she's around you all the time and I can't even fire her because she's really good at her job and nice as hell."

He slipped out of his pants and grabbed your chin so you had to look at him.

"You're damn cute when you're jealous, did you know that?"

His deep voice and doting look made you melt as he lifted one corner of his mouth cheeky.

"I'm not jealous!" you quickly shot back, even though you both knew that was a lie.

"It's just... Fuck you're mine."

Chan's eyes grew big and took on an intense sparkle. The air was forced out of your lungs as his lips crashed hard against yours and he touched your body passionately, pulling you closer and licking into your mouth as if he wanted to devour you. His hand now hovered above your wet core as he worked his way to cup your heat through the thin material of your panties.

"Take your pants off, right now!" he growled against your lips and you instantly got goosebumps all over your body. Quickly, with his help, you slipped out of your shorts and he hurriedly rolled your panties off your legs until you were naked beneath him.

"God. So fucking gorgeous." His left thumb filed on autopilot and landed on your clit. He ran his thumb up and down through your soaked folds. You murmured his name shamelessly as he put his thumb flat on your clit before starting to rub gentle circles on it.

"Sorry baby girl, I can't wait a second longer, if you talk to me like that..." he whispered and slipped out of his boxers. You almost forgot how massive and powerful his hard length was in contrast to your body. You bit your lower lip as he stroked his fingers through your wet folds and wetted his dick with your juices.

He propped himself up next to your head and lined himself up with your entrance. Then he looked deep into your eyes.

"Normally I'd take better care of you, but you're driving me crazy right now.... I won't be able to hold on for long."

You smiled, because you felt the same way. You needed him to light you up. He had to infuse you with life energy again, otherwise you would surely perish.

"Now's your chance to apologize appropriately," you breathed, grinning teasingly. He snorted.

"Oh I will. What do you want baby girl? Tell me? What have you been craving all this time?" he said, his voice barely a raspy whisper. He knew the answer to your question, he could read it on your face, smell it in the air, feel it in the vein in your neck that throbbed rapidly beneath his fingers. But still, he needed to be sure he was right, hear from your lips the plea for his caresses. He needed to know that you were as desperate as he was.

"You! I want you. All of you and only for me. I want your touch, your cock pounding deep inside me.... Please."

Your stifled gasps he intercepted with a kiss as he pressed his tip into you, sliding inch by inch inside you. He stretched you, seeming to tear your walls apart as he sunk deeper and deeper. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, pulled yourself against him until there was not a breath of space between you, no place where you're not touching. You nipped at his earlobe just to watch the shiver race down his back,

But he distracted you from the burning pain with loving kisses, his tongue played with yours and you clawed your fingernails into his back as he sank all the way into you.

"Oh god... fuck... Channie... so big," you groaned out as he was balls deep inside you, making you catch your breath. You wrapped your legs tighter around his body and he pressed a reassuring kiss to your forehead.

"Taking me so well... You're so good for me baby girl. Now let me make you feel good."

With that he began to move his hips. However, slowly and not violently as usual. He kept eye contact, enjoying your soft whimper as he thrusted into you again, deep and savoring every second where your warm pussy sucked him in.

He thrusted slowly but deeply and the world began to drift into the background. You felt only his warm skin, smelled only his cinnamon scent and the passion that made you press your hips against him.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, kissing your soft lips, aware of your body trembling beneath him.

Quickly you nodded, pulling him closer with your legs, pressing your heels against his butt in the process.

"Don't stop! I need you. Please."

Your pleading twisted his mind, your body made him gasp and he moved his hips again. The tip of his cock slowly started to glide into your tight walls again and this allowed him to lay his head on your shoulder and tuck his face into your warm and familiar neck.

Now he felt your soft boobs press into his skin and groaned at the warm feeling it brought him. Chan took your words as a permission to start rocking his hips with yours and it made you let out a gasp of pleasure. This time the sex with Chan was very different than before. He was not fast, heated full of passion and fire. He showed you the loving, caring side that sex had to offer. His movement velvety, deep and engaging. He enjoyed your whole existence, every detail, while he broke you apart completely. You moved in unison, he hit every sensitive spot until you moaned his name out loud, all the while he thrusted into you slowly, you two making your session thats been going on for who knows how long is getting more and more heated. His lips did an incredible job in leaving wet kisses all over your throat and collarbone. He straightened up a bit, his hands sliding down your body from your boobs to your waist, groping and feeling up your skin just so he could appreciate everything about you physically. Your arms around his neck, occasionally threading through his pretty dark curls as he liked looking at you while he fucked you senseless, with deep thrusts that completely silenced your head.

He looked deep into your eyes, rolled his hips and loved the way your thighs were squeezing around his hips. He started thinking about all the things he loved about you. Likewise he absolutely loved the look on your face as he slowly sunk his cock so deep inside of you that you rolled your eyes and treasured the tears that fell from your eyes as he pounded into you. He loved to feel your skin and see how small you looked in his arms.

"Channie I'm close..." you gasped, your fingers tightening on his back and barely fitting a sheet of paper between your bodies. Sweat stood on both of your foreheads, your bodies heated and as if perfectly fused into each other.

"God you're perfect... Come for me baby girl!" he moaned, snapping his hips harder and pulsing deep inside you.

Your fingernails dug deeper into his skin as he kissed you passionately again, you moaning into his mouth and he gripped your breast tightly with his hand. The kiss was soft and slow too, neither rushed nor hungry, and you loved it.

You had time for yourselves for the first time in ages and it was beautiful. Your fight had only brought you closer together and it was a carefree, happy moment in this stressful time.

So maybe that's why you were trying to draw this out as long as possible. To hold off on coming and live in the moment for a while longer. The bed is rocking slightly from the slow but sensual thrusting Chan was doing. Your nails began to claw at the skin of his bare back, making him hiss. He fucked you slow but hard, insistent, determined like he was trying to leave the imprint of himself inside of you long after he was gone.

Suddenly, a euphoric feeling washed over you and your orgasm crashed down on your body. Your body shook and spasmed under him and you had to bite down on his shoulder to conceal your moans. You thought for a moment about his parents, who were just a few doors away. As soon as your walls crushed him the blissful look on your face pushed him over the edge. He came harder than he ever had before, his muscles cramping and he had only bright white desire flooding his veins. He throbbed deep inside you, painted your walls white and looking you straight in the eyes as he gasped:

"Fuck I love you so much..."

You froze at his words, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest. His hips slowed down and rather than thrusting, they gradually just pressed into your hips, rutting back and forth slightly, creating added pressure to your bundle of nerves and extending both of your releases.

When you both came down from your high, breathing heavily, he was still deep inside you, hard and pulsating.

It took a few seconds for Chan to realize what he had just said as well. Cautiously, almost fearfully, he raised his eyes, looking for any reaction in your face, but you just stared at him with your mouth open.

"Channie... Did you just say..."

Your soul was on fire and he squeezed his eyes shut, sighing, finally finding the words again:

"Yes... Yes I think I did. And I mean it too. Don't worry, you don't have to answer that! I just want you to know how I feel."

Your hands trembled as you put them to Chan's cheeks, looking at him and falling in love with him all over again. Because there was no other way to express your feelings for him.

"But what if I tell you that I think I've really fallen in love with you? Hopelessly and head over heels."

His face beamed and he took a rattling breath.

"Really?"

You nodded.

"Yes. And the weird thing is, I feel that way about all of you. The extreme feelings, the affection, the desire.... I can't explain it any other way than love."

This seemed to please him even more. He chuckled, his lips collided with yours and he kissed you slowly and intensely. Like the tide that surrounded you, gripping your body and dragging you out into the sea of passion.

Nor did the heat in your veins, the moisture between your legs and the tension in your body diminish. In fact, you never feared getting enough of Chan, which is why you rolled your hips against his again until he moaned loudly as your walls nuzzled him.

"Do you want to keep going?" you asked, blushing at the wet sound that came as he pushed his cum and your juices deeper into you.

He growled dangerously, grabbing your hips and it elicited a naughty moan from you as he violently snapped his hips into yours.

"With a body like that it's a miracle you haven't brought me to the brink of insanity yet. Every time I see you my cock gets hard, its impossible not to think about fucking you day and night", he murmured and stroked your lower lip with his thumb. Then he kissed your neck, sucking on your soft skin until you saw stars and red marks remained. He became more and more addicted to leaving his marks on you. You didn't care if you had to spend the next week finding creative ways to hide the evidence of your sensual encounter, you just needed to feel him. You wanted him to mark you, to declare ownership over your body. Meanwhile you knew you belonged to him, always would and that this would not change. That was exactly what he had now made clear. No matter how many women flirted with him, you had the certainty that he would always come to you and would always choose you. He managed to communicate that to you without any words at all, and as he shook your insides with each thrust, you were just flooded with pure happiness.

One of the many things you loved about Chan was his duality. Last time he fucked you dumb, it was animalistic to say the least. But right now he was softer than he has ever been. He gently handled you as if you were a fragile porcelain doll.

You clung to his back as he seemed to reach deeper with each thrust. His smell, his skin against yours and the soft gasps with your whimpers was so intoxicating that you could do this forever.

But again the knot formed in your lower abdomen, so you pressed your body tightly against his and tried to push it back. But Chan fucked you too well and he was yours. He loved you and that was better than anything that could happen to you.

He felt your body tense and he looked back into your face, his fingers stroking your bare skin like a map he wanted to explore and uncover its secrets.

"It's alright, baby girl. We've got all night," he murmured, watching you crumble beneath him once again. The stifled gasp, your open mouth and the flush of arousal in your eyes made him realize how much he needed this.

And so you kissed, touched, fucked slowly until hours later the black outside the window was already turning an intense pink and gray. You just couldn't stop. It was like being caught in a frenzy that protected you from reality. In your world, all was well.

Two naked bodies, intertwined, floating between highs and warm love, unable to stop holding each other.

After you could no longer count how many times you had come under him, your aching pussy stuffed with his cum, your head as if emptied, you fell asleep after all. He on top of you, his dick still sunk into you and his face nuzzled against your neck. Tightly embraced and comfortably you dozed off exhausted, until the alarm clock tore you from sleep.

As soon as you arrived at rehearsals together, the boys' conversations fell silent and everyone looked at you curiously.

Chan yawned and you also rubbed your eyes tiredly.

"So you guys made up?" asked Hyunjin curiously as Chan placed a hand on your lower back to curtly say goodbye before climbing on stage with the other guys.

You sat down on the edge with a bottle of water and propped your head on your hand.

"So from the looks of their faces, they've made up all night," Changbin smirked and patted Chan on the shoulder, who just shook his head and suppressed a grin.

"All night?" escaped Han quietly, as by now several people from staff had joined them for rehearsals.

"We had a lot of catching up to do," Chan muttered with a mischievous look to you, to which you bit your lip and stared at the floor. The memories of last night were varied and intense. It was only in the morning that you had noticed that you had spent hours and hours sleeping with each other, and you had even fallen asleep during it, because you couldn't stop for a second. Even now you felt his body intertwined with yours, his length deep inside you and his whole presence as close as never before. It was as if his hands had never left your skin, as if his caresses were permanently carved into your body. One of the technical team announced over a microphone the first song to be rehearsed and the guys lined up. But did not stop cackling with each other.

"Really all night? You guys didn't sleep at all?" hissed Jeongin in disbelief and Chan‘s sly smile was enough to read the answer on his face.

"And I thought I had stamina..." muttered Jisung just before the music kicked in and the kids started rehearsing.

->Part 24

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© Yuna542 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

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[saezurusteve]

Please help me understand, what do you think happened to Yashiro?How did he go from a domineering/dominant being to a being who allows himself to be dominated? Did Hirata destroy Yashiro or were barriers torn down by Doumeki? I think he's fragile, without sarcasm, he's not egocentric, he seems like another character. I'm rereading it again and I'm in chapter 23 where he literally rides Doumeki and says barbaric things. Now he can't even run away properly

At the end of chapter 23, you get to see Yashiro spectacularly meltdown in the shower at Doumeki's apartment.

Study that face because you will see it again.

From the very moment we meet Yashiro in chapter 1 (of Saezuru) he tells us that despite the guy we met in Don't Stay Gold, he's actually harbored feelings of love.

But Yashiro has felt for a very long time that he is far too twisted to have something like that for himself, so he hands Kuga to Kageyama as a test to see, just to see, what it would be like to see Kageyama in love and to imagine himself in that part.

Because Yashiro is so afraid of rejection that he can't get up the courage to confess, leaving any feelings Kageyama might have had to turn into pity.

So it's not like any of these "want to be wanted" feelings are new to Yashiro, but he never got the chance to experiment for himself to see how HE falls in love, what does it look like for him?

Enter Doumeki:

Doumeki is kind of a sub for Kageyama from high school, until he starts to say things to Yashiro like "I always thought you were beautiful" and outward signs of concern "aren't you cold" (naked on the floor of the bathroom giving me a blowjob) or "I thought I was going to lose you" (when you got shot and saw me crying.) Doumeki is able to look beyond the defensive Yashiro and express his feelings.

In the beginning of Chapter 2, Yashiro begins to get jealous of anyone who has Doumeki's attention. But he tries to curb his own behavior and cut Doumeki off, until he meets Doumeki's sister, Aoi. Yashiro becomes invested in Doumeki's life and happiness.

This is a regular thing for Yashiro. He is a really good guy to the people he cares about. He can be a total punk ass to people he wants to piss off.

I won't go into the repeated faces of jealousy... they look a lot like the one above when he turns as Doumeki starts to wake up. You can have fun looking those up (I'll give you a hint... he gives the same look to Kageyama's gf, to Aoi, and to Mama-san... haha let's not forget Kuga.)

When things get heated and Yashiro should put a stop to things, he gives Doumeki a pass. (He gave me a blowjob at the hospital... probably nothing...) Because these blatant shows of concern for Yashiro's well-being are a major turn-on for Yashiro.

So by the time we get to Doumeki's apartment, Yashiro is not only primed for love, but ready to accept the curse:

Yashiro realizes that he is out of his league. Doumeki is a heavy tank of love and Yashiro has no idea what to do next. He tells himself that no one can love him, and that Doumeki doesn't really mean it. But the curse has been cast.

Let's skip ahead 4 years, and they meet again. Yashiro is plagued with horrible dreams of being alone, and his body is rejecting everyone but the one he's dreaming about. When they see each other again it all comes back.

Now Yashiro has to deal with the fact that his body is responding to only to Doumeki, and we see him meltdown again.

And he confesses that he never had it together to start with. His feelings are a mess where Doumeki is concerned.

That brings us almost up to speed... however, you mentioned that you thought Yashiro has become fragile...

I think the proper word for Yashiro is vulnerable. And recognize that face? That's the meltdown face... however, Yashiro is hurt and he's showing his vulnerable side to Doumeki. He's beyond jealousy now, he is stamping his feet and throwing the tantrum he's bottled up for years.

Instead of running away, Yashiro is actually confronting Doumeki about his feelings. Doumeki may have not seen it a few chapters ago, but he certainly sees it now. It's all been a revelation that Yashiro needs to know that he's still cared for. He still needs to see Doumeki as that guy who gives a crap about whether or not Yashiro is comfortable.

All we need now is for Yashiro to see that Doumeki needs the reassurance that Yashiro will still accept him even if he leaves his side for a little while. And so that WE can have this kind of stuff every chapter.

[writing-whump]

Sol.... Begging for some sick Matt? Pls? Pretty please? I'm thinking with this prompt from the "feeling sick positions" list you reblogged:

When a character is sick and he has an arm draped over his eyes while laying down, bonus for the other over his stomach

Angry when sick

When Isaiah came home shortly before midnight, the light in the living room was still on. That was his first clue.

The second was even more obvious than the biting light in his night city eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Matthew didn't bother opening his eyes covered by his hand. His other was draped over his stomach and he looked like he was about to slide off the couch, but didn't have the energy. "Do I look okay?"

Isaiah put his coat off with a sigh before approaching. "Alright, what's wrong?"

"Ah, now he cares. I'm. So. Touched."

Isaiah frowned, which was only for his own benefit, since Matt couldn't see it. "Are you pouting that I'm...not giving you attention?"

"Attention? You are fucking not home any day of the week. That's not lack of attention, that's a chronic avoidance."

"I'm not avoiding you." Isaiah dared to put the back of his hand against Matthew's cheek, since it was the closest free surface. "You aren't warm. No fever."

"Oh, I know. You are avoiding her, which doesn't really solve the problem for me, does it?"

"I'm not avoiding anyone. Just been busy," Isaiah said with an eyeroll that again, would have no effect. "I got really invested in law school again and I have many packs to visit and-"

"You know what? Shut it. I'm not in the mood to hear your made up crap." Matt turned his back to Isaiah, face pressed against the couch. Both his hands were now snuggly wrapped around his middle.

"Your stomach bothering you? Want some tea?" Isaiah was trying very hard not to pout at being interrupted like that. He was being honest.

Running around the city trying to find out if he truly wasn't seen as an Executioner was pretty exhausting. Even more exhausting was finding out that his effect truly wasn't what it was supposed to be.

Which meant lots of roaming around the city at night in the hopes of finding some trouble or a scuffle he could solve.

Until his connections got more willing, he needed more eyes in the city. Someone nible and fast to go on patrols for or with him.

He needed Rip. And he needed him, like, yesterday, not next month or however long it took for him to be able to stand humans and interact with wolves again.

Isaiah decided he might as well make the tea to have something to do. There was an amount of scents in the kitchen, movements and food he didn't know.

It was distressing to realize there were freshly washed cups and plates he didn't put into the dishwasher and food he didn't order or cook. That Seline moved in these spaces when he was away.

It wasn't like they didn't know how to interact. Or that they were would scream or argue or whatever. Isaiah was actually quite proud how well they were handling it.

There was a bit of tension, sure, but they could communicate about the essentials well. In a few weeks they might even be able to talk about the weather while looking at each other.

He felt kinda like Seline had other stuff to tell him, glaring at him and then changing her mind. Isaiah would have liked to tell her stuff too. But he didn't want to escalate it. Maybe he really was the coward in this.

They weren't together. What worse thing could happen?

Not that it was that bad. He was fine. It wasn't world-ending. He was fine. Really.

"Are you making a soup out of the damn tea or what?" Matthew's raspy voice brought him back to the present.

Isaiah shook himself off his trance and finally put the water into the cup with the mint tea. He didn't want to make it too strong, before he brought it over.

"Put the light off, will you?"

Isaiah complied, cringing inside at the ordering and the tone. Between Seline and himself, he didn't expect Matt to snap first. Maybe that was his fault too.

The tea filling the room with its clouds of steam and Matt taking up all of the couch, Isaiah sat down on the floor. He patted Matt's leg. "Try some of it?"

There was a gasp breath like Matt wanted to speak, but a soft burp came up instead.

"At least tell me what's wrong. What part of your stomach hurts?"

Matt grumbled something under his breath.

"Matt?"

"Just...overall, okay? It's bloated and painful and your questions are annoying."

"Right," Isaiah said tiredly.

Long silence followed. Isaiah would have thought Matt fell asleep, except his breathing kept catching at weird intervals.

"Wanna try lying in bed? Maybe stretching out-"

Matt curled up on the couch even more, all protective on his side around his upset stomach. There was a soft groan. "Leave me alone. Go to fuck to sleep or whatever, don't stay up."

Isaiah got up with a sigh, glad for the glimmer of sympathy of being send to sleep. He sat down on the edge, draping himself across Matthew's legs. His eyes were so heavy and the turned off lights were putting him to sleep. "No can do. You can ask for anything else though."

Matt froze up a little at the contact, squirming under the weight.

Isaiah suppressed a yawn and put a hand on top of Matt's shoulder, rubbing up and down. His eyes were drooping.

"Come back right after school tomorrow?" Matt said into the quiet darkness.

Isaiah swallowed heavily. "Okay."

[drdt-headcanons]

What would the Despair Time do for a fun night together? And if so, who would even show up 💖

To celebrate the new year (and make up for being gone for so long, sorry about that), I'm finally answering this! Sorry for letting it rot away in the inbox all this time.

To answer the question, I think one of the more sociable classmates, like Eden or Xander, would probably be the one to try planning something for them to do. Maybe a board game night or something they could all do without having to worry about people having to travel or go anywhere that might overwhelm anyone. I'm gonna assume this is a non-killing game au and that Hope's Peak had some sort of Common room area they could host this event in.

As for who would show up...

Teruko: Nearly misses the event because her dorm room door got jammed, but when she does manage to get to the event, she loses every board game. Though she didn't expect anything less, so she still had fun. Watching everyone squabble was quite entertaining for her.

Xander: If he didn't come up with the idea for the event, he probably still helped set it up, so he's attending. He gets very invested in every game they play and is quick to call out anyone who tries to cheat. While he's easily frustrated, he's not a sore loser and will congratulate the winner (...with noticeably grey eyes).

Charles: He didn't want to come, but if Whit and/or Teruko has befriended him by this point, he probably ended up going anyway. Even if he won't admit it, he had fun and maybe, possibly, cracked a few smiles at the others' antics.

Ace: He wasn't going to attend, but then Arei said he was "just afraid he'd lose", and suddenly he was motivated to show up. To say that he wanted to flip over the table at multiple points is not an exaggeration (he lost every game), but much like Charles, he had fun even if he won't admit it.

Arei: She decides to attend in order to kick everyone's asses at all the games. She is the main culprit behind any potential cheating (though she does rope Whit into it). If called out, she will start fake crying on the spot before she's forced to stop whatever she was doing.

Rose: May sleep through the event, but if she does make it there, she'll win any game based on memorization. Other than that, she's overall happy to be there and is happy she gets to experience something she'll actually like remembering.

Hu: Much like Xander, she likely helped set up the event, so she attends. She's happy to watch the others play but can get surprisingly intense when given the chance to play herself. And if anyone sets up Karaoke, she's the best one there without competition.

Eden: Either came up with the idea for the event or helped set it up, so she attends as well. While she doesn't have the best poker face, she will gleefully send three +4 cards towards a classmate in a row without remorse. She assures them it isn't personal, just business in a fake-serious voice.

Levi: He is on the fence about attending, and most likely will if someone encourages him to. Unlike Eden, he does seem a bit unsure about how cruel he can be during a game without making people genuinely upset with him. As such, a few classmates have made it their job to encourage him to do whatever potentially-mean move he's considering during a board game when they see him look unsure.

Arturo: Refuses to attend, but may be swayed into being an onlooker if someone like Veronika pesters him enough. He then exasperatedly sighs the whole night at their chaos, even though if he was really that tired of them, he could just leave.

Min: She doesn't really have too much desire to attend, but could be convinced if someone really tried. She gets surprisingly invested in many of the games and is pretty good at them as well (She may or may not have read some Wikipedia articles on the best strategies for some of them).

David: He doesn't particularly want to attend, but he does so anyway because of both his image and knowing it'll make Xander happy. He pretends not to mind if he loses, but inside he is fuming. He isn't always the best as completely hiding his competitive streak, though, and Arei has teased him for this on multiple occasions.

Veronika: Attends purely to sow as much havoc as possible. Her giggling strikes fear into anyone playing with her, because she gains much glee from inconveniencing them in any way possible, even at the detriment to her own chances at winning.

J: Much like Ace, she doesn't really think she'll attend until someone challenges her. After that, she attends in order to protect her honor...And kinda fails because she usually doesn't win. But that doesn't stop her from trying. She also picks out the music they play during the night because she thinks most of the others have bad taste.

Whit: Attends because he thinks it will be fun. As stated earlier, he will, from time to time, aid Arei in cheating, but he doesn't actually care too much about winning himself, even if he'll pretend to have some sort of dramatic, heart-breaking reaction to losing. So the opposite of David, in a way.

Nico: They didn't really want to attend, but they could potentially be convinced. If you play Monopoly, they WILL be using the dog piece. No exceptions. Even if everyone's arguing can be tiresome, they still have a bit of fun and manage to win a few games.

---

And that's it! Again, sorry for the delayed response, not sure how it took me so long to finally answer this.

[reyreadersblog]

TGG SPOILERS!

I read so many reviews of TGG...

And i have a few opinions to say:

(Keep in mind, that they are MY opinions and don't hate pls🙏🏻)

Not proof read.

1. Gigi was the best player, idc. I hate Brady for what he did and the way Gigi handled the situation was rlly good, i love her even more in this book. The cliffhanger had me screaming😭😭

2. Apperantley, everyone loved Odette..and mabye i'm just being a hater but i didn't find anything interesting about her character😭. For me she was just "there", sure she helped a lot, but what was the point?? The only reason i kind of liked her character was because she gave us so many Lyrason moments. I kind of felt bad for her towards the end tho. She gave Grayson and Lyra hints, she solved some of the mysteries...but her character was lacking something. I did like her tho and i wanted her to be in the for a while.

3.grayson was best version of himself,i KNOW he was thinking with his dick the whole book but it was actually hilarious, and the character growth he had??? Amazing, truly. He was finally healed. Also the rizz he had...?

4.i liked Lyra's chapters the most, prolly because her father's whole case had me so invested.

5. I loved all the Savannah x Rohan moments we got. The tension AHHHH.

But there were some moments where i felt like i was reading TIG and TFG all over again, simply cus they're dynamic reminded me so much of Averyjameson back in the days. I'm not saying they're exacly the same, it just felt a bit..forced and similar, which i didn't like, i'm being very honest.

6. First half of the book i LOVED savannah but near the end she pissed me off so bad broo😭😭🙏🏻. I know it's all Eve's doing, but Sav isn't blameless too for trusting her. The whole "i'm going to get my revange on Hawthornes for killing my father" UGHHH. GIRL if there is anyone who has right to get revange for her father and messing up her mental health is Lyra. You don't get to say anything cuz..💀

7. Slater might get his redemption arc but idc i'm never going to like him.

8. Lyrason. That it. That's my opinion.

9. Puzzles were overdone. I understand that it's "the grandest game" so obvi there is going to be tons of puzzles and secrets but THERE WERE TOO MUCH.

10. I want Lyra to win and at the same time i want Rohan to win lmaoo😭😭.

11. Avery slayed that 2 minutes of "screentime" she had. Queen.

12. Savy and British had me cringing so bad i'm sorry😭😭

[darcytaylor]

I'm aware this is unfair and you don't have to entertain it, but I resent Antonia a little bit for making me think less of Luke because of her actions. Whenever she posts, I reexamine my opinion of him, not because of anything he's done, but because him being with her doesn't square with the opinion I've formed of him based on how he shows up in the world. I know it's not his responsibility to fit in with my view of him, I'm just tired of this. I don't know what to think of him at all anymore. I want to be a fan but she's making it hard. There's always that niggling feeling in the back of my mind of, what if he's in on the trolling, y'know? I just hope it isn't the case.

Thank you for sharing this - it’s an honest and vulnerable perspective, and I know people can relate to the dissonance you’re describing. It’s natural to form an opinion of someone based on how they present themselves publicly, and when their personal choices seem at odds with that image, it can feel weird (I’ve brought this up in another post a while back). I think your self-awareness about this is important, especially in acknowledging that it’s not his responsibility to fit into the image you’ve formed of him, even if it’s frustrating at times.

I also get why you may be questioning if he’s in on the trolling (if there is any trolling to begin with - I mean, there probably is some, but most of it seems pretty harmless). That said, I do think things tend to get blown way out of proportion by the fandom. However, unless there’s clear evidence of something more intentional, try to remind yourself that it might just be social media noise and not reflective of any deeper meaning on his part (and even hers).

On a more personal note, I’ve realized that I wouldn’t likely be friends with Luke or his type of friends (sorry, but it’s true, haha). Theatre aside, I can tell they’re not a group I’d naturally connect with - and honestly, that includes Luke. Have I seen some questionable things done by Antonia and her mother? Yes. But again, I don’t know any of the people involved. Who knows? Maybe I’d actually be best friends with all of them, haha! It’s entirely possible my preconceived notions are shaping this belief.

So again, I can’t stress this enough: it’s important to remember that we don’t actually know any of the people involved, and that includes Antonia (we don't actually know what kind of person she is). The image she’s curated within the fandom is partly her own doing, but at the end of the day, maybe she just doesn’t care about how she’s perceived in these spaces. While that might bother some people, it could also be seen as a good thing. If she’s happy and living her life on her own terms, then maybe that’s all that matters to her - and that could be valid.

I’ll admit, I’m way more of a people-pleaser. I hate confrontation, and I’d feel emotionally crushed if I had thousands of people hating me online. But just because I’d approach things differently doesn’t mean her way is wrong or ultimately makes her a bad person. It might just reflect different priorities, values, or ways of dealing with public scrutiny.

She is also very young, and what she posts is on brand for her and her friend group - which includes Luke. This doesn’t make me hate Luke, though. I think he’s super talented, and I find myself more invested in his career choices than his personal ones.

I think this all comes back to the complicated nature of para-social relationships. It’s okay to feel conflicted or even disappointed - it’s a natural part of navigating these dynamics. But maybe it’s worth considering whether entertaining her social media is really helping you. If it’s becoming too frustrating, it might be easier to block her and remove that source of stress for yourself. I know people on the internet tend to repost things, so it can be hard to avoid her altogether, but there are definitely spaces that don’t focus on her actions and posts. Maybe try to find a community like that (even just for a little while), because at the end of the day, she’s just a person who might be dating Luke.

[cringefailvox]

where would alastor fit into the staticbelle au, :0 ?

staticbelle au

OKAY IT REALLY DEPENDS BC!! we still don't know exactly why alastor is at the hotel! it could be because he's there on orders from someone else, or he's there to entertain himself, or to manipulate charlie for reasons unknown, or something else entirely—and the reason will really impact whether or not he'd choose to try and get involved with charlie if she was already supported by vox. a lot of his sway over the hotel comes from the fact that it was crumbling into disrepair when he arrived and he fairy godmother'd it into a somewhat functional project, therefore winning him a ton of emotional brownie points with charlie, but he wouldn't have that opportunity at all here because i really don't think there's anything he could offer charlie that vox isn't already providing (or wouldn't be willing to START providing if it meant spiting alastor).

however. presuming instead that alastor is not at the hotel to protect or look after charlie, or help her project succeed (since these would already be satisfied by vox), it'd be fascinating if instead alastor comes back after seven years and immediately antagonizes vox into losing his shit and making charlie go "ooookay! i'm gonna have to put my therapy techniques in action because vox is clearly not over his situationship." and that's how her and alastor meet. i think she knows about the alastor thing but hadn't really seen what the problem was before he came back; everyone in hell has enemies after all, and a little healthy rivalry never hurt anyone, but seeing it in action is totally different. after the third time vox plunges the city into darkness because alastor called him an insecure freak on air she's like umm. we might need to talk about this.

she's super worried about vox because she's never seen him this upset about anything before. vox is relapsing hard into his paranoid-obsessive shit that he'd worked on really hard in the seven years alastor has been away, and now it's all rushing back and threatening to ruin everything he's built—but also, his sorta girlfriend princess independent contractor person (???) is now insisting he try to "make amends" and "practice healthy emotional regulation" and "please stop brooding over your pit of sharks with a bottle of tequila i'm really nervous about you falling in and electrocuting yourself even though i know you're waterproof, come watch a movie with me instead?" and he can't decide whether he resents it or appreciates it (both. it's both).

maybe having charlie around to redirect him and encourage healthier outlets for his anger, unlike how val and vel normally handle his radio demon bullshit, DOES actually get him to calm down a little bit. maybe even enough to reluctantly agree to supervised counseling sessions with alastor, because fucking dammit charlie has gone behind his back to talk to al about repairing their broken friendship and he was so excited, vox, you should've seen him, he practically insisted on having me arrange a meeting, i think he really regrets how things ended between you two and wants to do better, please just give it a chance?? cue the worst couple's counseling session in the universe with vox stiff as a board and shaking with repressed rage in his seat while alastor sips tea demurely across from him and asks oh-so-politely how him and charlie met, and isn't this such a charming little affair, and ooh, redemption? how interesting! charlie is eating this the fuck up, overjoyed at the thought of meeting TWO overlords interested in her plan while vox can't do anything about it but seethe and fantasize about shooting alastor in the face when charlie's back is turned.

this actually sort of turns into vox feeling protective over charlie completely without meaning to, because he knows alastor isn't being genuine, he knows he has ill intentions, and vox has invested too much time and energy and honest commitment into both charlie and her dreams to let fucking alastor destroy it all by taking advantage of her desperate need for validation. only vox gets to capitalize on her daddy issues, dammit. but there's real affection there too, reluctant and uncomfortable as he is with its existence, and it's making it extremely difficult for him to handle alastor's Everything without betraying the fact that he's become emotionally compromised and isn't just looking out for his business interests.

charlie, meanwhile, thinks she's going to get to kill two birds with one stone here: she can help vox get over / assuage a broken relationship that's clearly causing him a lot of distress, and she can rope another influential overlord into endorsing her project, which prods the door open that much further for her to enact real change in hell. but alastor isn't the same kind of monster as vox, and she might be a little in over her head this time—because she just can't stop herself from having faith in people's better natures, even when every indication is pointing the other way. it's a kind of earnest and willful naivete that's like blood in the water to people like alastor and vox. at least she knows—she hopes—vox would hesitate now. she can't really say the same for al. either way, she's going to keep trying, and it's really a race between charlie's ability to infect people with soft mushy friendship emotions by double-bluffing their manipulative plots and alastor's ability to pry people open like clamshells and inflict horrifyingly intimate betrayals on them.

(hint: charlie always wins the long-game. there's only so many times you can sarcastically banter about your feelings over scones with your archrival and your girlfriend supervising before you start actually making breakthroughs and unwillingly understanding each other. charlie has weaponized "ironically committing to the bit too hard" in her favor and it works everyyy time)