#and I'm old enough to be his mom
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Once again I had confirmation that I am asexual because I dreamed that I met Hozier and we were alone together and we chatted and had shortbread cookies. IN A DREAM WHERE WE COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.
#andrew hozier byrne#the hoziest#hozier#I think they were Milano cookies#we talked about books#never had a sex dream in my life#and I'm old enough to be his mom
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So Corinna Schumacher, whose husband is literally the most legendary Ferrari driver and king/ hero/ God of the Tifosi, was in Monza, home of the Tifosi... JUST TO SHOUT AT JAMES VOWLES FOR PUTTING MICK ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT?!?!
LEGEND. YOU DROPPED THIS, QUEEN 👑
#I shot you know I already had SO MUCH RESPECT FOR HER#BUT THIS#(and pls be serious about it - a team principal one in whose family you're already driven in wec basically saying your not good enough#Comments like that are DEADLY in a sport like f1#Cause if James vowles doesn't trust him and even Toto prefers an 18 year old rookie after saying mick deserves a seat for 2 years now...#WHY WOULD ANYONE ELSE GIVE HIM A TRY?#)#So basically Mick has probably lost his last chance of getting back in f1 with that comment#SO YEAH CORINNA SHOULD SCREAM AT JV#AND I HOPE LOGANS MOM GETS THE CHANCE TO#SOMEONE GET THE MOM'S TOGETHER#f1#corinna schumacher#michael schumacher#james vowles#I'm not sure it's 100% true but imagine your James vowles and suddenly Corinna Schumacher is standing in front of you and is like#“HALT DEN NAMEN MEINES SOHNES AUS DEINEM VERDAMMTEN MUND!”#Yes I believe she is 100000x scarier than angry Michael and we all know how scary he could be#Scary Michael is a puppy compared to angry Corinna#Okay maybe she didn't shouted apparel she made her opinion clear
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this relationship between the emperor and his favorite concubine is something else. because apparently she was his DAD'S concubine and she reminds him of his mom...he's like you're the only connection i have to my mother (presumably because she was friends with his mom, because they were concubines of the same guy, and because after his mom died she used to take care of him and make him the food his mom used to make him because she "loves children") and i'm sitting there like 😬 ok where are we going with this. then i get to the end of the show and discover they weren't going anywhere with it in particular. they were just like, we want this guy to have a mommy complex and we want you to know about it. okay. thanks i guess...
#i'm like is his mommy complex relevant? and they're like no 😇#like they didn't have any reason to make her that much older than him or to have her be one of his dad's concubines#it never becomes relevant#they could have left out that conversation in which they talked about her taking care of him as a kid and it wouldn't have affected anythin#and not that this show cares about relative time ('eight years ago' never makes any sense)#but it's also not to make ji shuran old enough to be ruoyao's mom or anything...li-fei is jsr's younger sister#if she had to be older than jsr then that would be one thing. but she isn't! she's younger!!#which also means 1) jsr is old enough to have a younger sister who's 2) old enough to be the former emperor's concubine#(as of at least eight years ago since we know it's at least that long since he died) and#3) the mommy figure of the current emperor who is currently an adult but was not an adult eight years ago even though#4) jsr has got to only be in her 30s based on sun-mama saying she's been with her since birth 'over 30 years ago'#the show is clearly not thinking about any of this though. they're just like 'wouldn't it be fun if the emperor was a lil messed up'#the double#incest cw#to be safe#because in a sense she is akin to his stepmom#my posts#it is kinda funny tho that the emperor went ok im going to imprint on this older sexually experienced woman who was married previously#and xiao heng went oh shit that sounds fun. me too#f
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you all will probably find it absolutely hilarious i spent a good four weeks thinking about ways gunter/corrin could Fuck in a castle courtyard-ish cubbyhole without torching his knees.
and i figured it out!!!!!!!!!!!!
archery targets!!!!!! :D
#it's not a BED but it at least won't destroy his knees. leigh i'm trying to take care of ur old man!!!!#my mom has an archery target set up in the backyard (she's... an interesting one) idk why i didn't think of it before.#firm enough to effectively be a low bench thing but pliable enough it's not like.... a stone/wood bench. or The Dirt.
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Is anyone gonna talk about the fact Aidan was 19 when they filmed...and Ritu was 34
barf....
#umbrella acedmy#the umbrella academy#tua#tua s4#tua season 4#five hargreeves#number five#like how was that allowed#i mean legally yeah he is an adult but EWW that's the age my mom had me and I'm four years younger than him UGHHH#shes old enough to be his MOM an admitly young mom BUT STI#HOW MANY TIMES DID THEY HAVE TO SHOOT THAT SCENE??#ugh
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Finally watched Renfield last night and it was way better than I was expecting.
Here's an About a Boy gif for reference @thulium You can see it but he definitely lost lot of that baby softness
#seriously forever reminding myself that Nicholas Hoult was the boy in About a Boy#i mean I'm not old enough to be his mom but i still feel like a creepy old lady#Renfield#about a boy
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i hope christopher's complicated feelings about shannon continue to come up rather than the letter magically solving everything.
#the thing is—shannon *did* leave. she cut off contact for two years.#that is still a thing that happened no matter the nuance behind her actions. she left and christopher remembers that.#and i'm sure eddie tried to explain it to him and make excuses but chris was a smart kid.#he would've seen right through it then and he definitely sees through it now as a teen.#he's old enough that he's not gonna be able to see his mom as this infallible being but rather as a human who fucked up.#and he's gonna have mixed feelings about it. and while the letter definitely helped him it's only one step.#it shouldn't and it can't fix everything. it still doesn't change a lot of things and he's gonna realize that. idk.#i hope they let him feel the complexity of the situation.#neethu speaks
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Man how cool would it be if there was a Zelda game where the plot was Zelda being raised thinking she was the hero for that time only to find out she wasn't and it was her friend who knew all along
#oh so now the wind waker fan is talking#yES there is an element of wind waker to this#basically#zelda's mother kinda drops her daughter at some rural village to live away from ganondorf#ganondorf is somewhat satisfied enough to not chase baby zelda cause her mom also has powers so he's like well if i keep this woman in chec#i'm good#anyways baby zelda grows up with sURPRISE its link#both go under different names (zelda doesn't ever get called zelda#but link knows his name is link#but changes it#and when theyre old enough zelda is like hey i'm going to an adventure to get the master sword#and save my mom who is princess zelda#link: oh. uh. sure i'll tag along...for.#reasons#companion link!#i'm rambling lMAO
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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i've seen a couple people say that Angela has made horrible comments about Matt's mother??? was this in another confrontation??
because at least during the fight/staircase monologue the only thing I remember was Matt bringing up his mom saying "my mom's gonna be at home watching this" and angela replied "she's gonna think you're a brat"
unless she said some other shit I just don't see the big deal?
#bb26#like if she brought up his mother first that would be a little wild#but iirc she said 'i'm old enough to be your mother i'm twice your age'#which is when matt said the thing about his mom watching#and she said the brat thing
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my ship with C/able has to be my defining life achievement thus far
#the way I'm obsessed with my own lore it may as well have been canon. to me.#I am extremely lucky to be able to say this but cable/josh brolin strongly reminds me of 2020 in a really idyllic way#like okay last time I felt free and unhindered enough to dream and imagine. ig I will be running back to his old ass forever now#I still find myself thinking what would cable tell me to do cause I fully trust his imagined advice and comforting presence lmao#LIKEEEE that's daddy. Sorry. ig this is like a comfort character to me. play how to disappear lana del rey#I just gotta imagine him and I feel so safe taken care of and supported like tension GONE#f/o:cable#see I was JUST 2-3 months into the josh brolin thing when the pandemic happened. ig the rest is uhhh.... what you see here#I had the josh brolin + lana del rey brain augmentation procedure (self performed) weirdly enough kinda mom and dad
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i <3 feeling like i'm literally always making the wrong choice
#every passing day i dig a little deeper the bottomless debt i owe my parents#monetarily and morally#and god i wish i could kill myself but noooooo i tried again and i can't fucking do it i can't#so i just. i don't know i want to be incapacitated i want to be in the psych ward forever.#i don't want to fail and never make enough money to pay for their retirement home#i don't want to have to visit them every god-knows-how-often#i don't want to be fifty years old and still having to exist in relation to my parents#and god they've done nothing BAD i shouldn't want to cut all contact with them#but it's so. i don't know. i don't know how people even do it.#like you always have to come back home you always have to act right you always have to think abt them and text them and call them#and nothing you do is ever right and you want things that can't coexist with their happiness and peace of mind#and you're an asshole in every way you're an asshole deep down and you're an asshole outwardly too#but you can't stop wanting stupid things and acting weird and demanding#and it's a curse upon them to have you near but it's literally so fucking ungrateful of you to stray away a little#and you still do it because you can't stop wanting to follow things instead of keeping to your resolutions#and trying to do the best for them#and nothing is ever the best for them it's always just bad choices cause you shouldn't even exist you're just wrong you're born wrong#you don't want things that are good for them too and you're not capable of good things#dad wants to go on vacation at his family's like twice a year. mom want to stay home and take care of business and relax this year too#even now that grandma is gone and doesn't require her to be near. cuz emptying the flat & all of that.#and it's just. cool cool i make the wrong choice whichever way.#if i stay with mom i'll make dad's family sad and inconvenience my mom and leave dad alone#if i go with dad i'll leave mom alone (also alone to work on the flat) and i'll be an annoying asshole to dad and his family#because i'm too stupid and egoistical to pretend to be fine with things that mildly inconvenience me for five seconds#and either way i won't do any fucking work because i'm a sad piece of shit and i'm going to fail the fuck out of school next year#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Cool dice and stargazer
(Also the vampire one made me wheeze laugh so hard I snorted XD I was like nah I ain't saying that one about anyone ���)
Everyone has diagnosed me as "Cool Dice" It makes me wonder if I should post a picture of my neat socks collection.
Also... Stargazer is so VISERALLY accurate, I'm surprised not many people got it sooner.
I was a Honor Roll straight A kid who didn't need to study or learn any life skills because schoolwork just came naturally to me and a lot of the subjects in school, like reading, science and art... and the basic academics were my special interests at the time so I did well.
When I went to college, I think I got my first Cs in classes that I genuinely loved and thought I was to be good at. Like Theatre, Photography and Psychology. and then I cried cus I thought I was dumb and not good at things that I loved.
No, I wasn't, I just didn't study and no one told me like that's what you HAD to do in college.
So like when... I tell Neurotypicals that I'm actually Autistic. They look at me so strange like... "But you did good in school!"
Yeah. And then I flounder later in adult life cause fundamentals weren't explained to me and quickly forgotten about.
I remember fighting with my English Teacher in highschool a lot because i said that "as long as the sentence makes sense in the context of the story, grammar isn't nessasary"
Which is probably something you see in my writing that I struggle with, and it's typically why I take so long because I keep trying to change the tense of verbage use to keep it consistent and second guess myself as if my fanfic is an academic paper to be graded. A horrible habit I know.
I'm also mildly dyslexic and horrible at spelling and cheated on all my spelling tests in Fifth grade and don't know how to spell to this day.
Spellcheck has been my friend, but since they integrated AI into it, lately spellcheck has not been picking up on my common misspelled words and usually recommend me different damn words then what I want....
buuuut...
Yeah. Sorry for dumping
Anyway. I have a lot of cool socks.
#personal#askgame#idk why stargazer got me so personally hard#but yeah I was known as a gifted kid until I wasn't#Now I'm a struggling adult#Who's family contacts my mom before they speak to me#Even though I am the Millennial generation and should be old enough to have a child that's thirteen by now if I went that route#Meanwhile my third youngest cousin is buying a house with his fiance#Yeah I know not to compare yourself to others#I really don't care about that#I just care being the eldest grandchild but looked down on like a baby by my whole family#....ANYWAYS#Thanks for the ask#didn't mean to turn it into a personal dive lol#danachan's asks#venty
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sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'
#me sayjng that I dont agree with his opinion but sure you can think his way but heres why i dont agree and him going 'yes no ofcourse you're#right because you're always right and never open for different opinions and not nuanced and and and' in the most sarcastic way and I'm just#standing there like '??? I ended my piece saying y ur opinion could also be right wtf' and he is like 'no im sure because i know these#kinda things' and me and my mom ask for evidence and he gets mad bc no he knows this obviously he just knows this#and then 5 minutes later he goes (non sarcastically) 'yea kyle can do anything' and then when i respond w 'ye sure' he gets mad#bc he sees it as me not being able to take a compliment#SIR I CAN IN FACT NOT DO ANYTHING U LIT TOLD ME I'M BLATENTLY WRONG AND MY OPINION IS WRONG 5 MINUTES AGO#stop telling me I'm perfect AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME PLEASE#anyway slay i dont like him as a man and yet he makes me feel like im not allowed to#and shames me when i make it clear I dont like being around him as much#anyway hes a sucky sucky man a lot of the time and atp I'm like 90% sure hes a narcissist but idk enough abt it#anyway fat slay#I'm literally never coming out to him as trans bte bc when one of his closest friends came out as a women and said she was going to#transition he saw it as unfair to HIM because its hard for HIM to lose a friend and he didn't know how to deal with that so she was a bad#friend for doing that. also I'm his favourite little girl to this day like sir....im a 24 yr old whos not called themselves a woman in like#6 yrs please catch on#god so much to talk abt w/him thats to much I'm not gonna trauma dump#anyway he sucks#he just can't seem to grab onto me thinking he sucks
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so today my mom decided to take us on a hike, and my brother and I were walking much farther ahead talking about whatever, and I learned something which I continue to be shocked at and now must tell you.
He was walking slightly farther ahead of me, and I thought I heard him say "Stolas." He did say Stolas. He was talking about the character from Helluva Boss. He has watched every episode of Helluva Boss at least once. He has also seen the entire pilot of Hazbin Hotel.
This child is NOT EVEN A MIDDLE SCHOOLER YET.
#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#help me haha#*I'm* barely old enough for all that#I mean I love that we have something in common I suppose but SERIOUSLY#YOU ARE A CHILD#YOU ARE FAR TOO YOUNG FOR ALL THE SEX JOKES#he didn't even know what sex WAS until mom explained it to him just a few weeks ago#his defense is more or less "I think it's cool and it's okay if I don't understand it because I won't start understanding it just by seeing#he also claims to understand most of the jokes anyway#buddy if you know what angel dust meant when he asked if sir pentious's hat was the top we have larger issues#(he doesn't know)#he also keeps accidentally misgendering angel dust as “she” because of the pink and the chest fluff#side note: I haven't watched it in a while and thought Striker and Chaz were the same character (both Striker b/c I forgot about Chaz)#he maintained that there were 2 different guys “one's a shark and one's a cowboy” and I didn't believe him until we got home and watched it#so... yeah#apparently my little brother knows about hazbin hotel and helluva boss
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