#and I'm not even joking at all
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Lili I have seen you reblogging this hot black haired vampire girl in the with suit with the hat from Hellsing and been so curious about her :3 Please tell me about who Girlycard and Ladycard are and their relationship to Alucard :o?
Okay, so, Alucard in the anime Hellsing and Hellsing: Ultimate is an effeminate twunk who either wears bondage gear or a suit with a red trenchcoat.
His whole thing is that he's Dracula but during the Novel Dracula by Bram Stoker, Doctor Hellsing bound him with some kind of occult magic into being a servant to his family line until the end of time.
So, Alucard fights in WW2 against the Nazis as a loli with a tommy gun and then gets locked into the Hellsing Manor Basement for 40 to 50 years until young Integra Hellsing finds him and releases him so he can help her kill her uncle who is trying to kill her because the Hellsing family is rich a part of the British Round Table, a cabal of the wealthiest old nobility working directly under the royal family to kill monsters.
Thing with Alucard is that they divide themself into different forms with their own personalities that are still "Alucard/Dracula".
There's modern Alucard who hides his sadness and suicidal urges behind being a scary dog with snark who loves to verbally fence with Sir Integra.
There's Vlad Tepes, his original form from when he died his first death and rose as a vampire, who is somber and way more genuine and sincere in his sentiments he shares to his allies and enemies alike.
There's his actual literal demon dog form he can turn into.
And then there's Girlycard, not an official name, but the most popular fan name, she is that loli from WW2, she's more impish and willing to play with her food and pretty childish.
The context for some of this can be inferred from how young child Vlad was sexually abused until he became a man and gained the title of Vlad the Impaler.
So, we have a plural therian genderfluid transfem with tons of issues she suppresses through violence and wearing a masculine face while one of the main core identities that comes out is a little girl who is powerful and strong and confident in all the ways she wasn't in her mortal childhood.
#hellsing is very good and i recommend both the gonzo series and the ultimate ovas#alucard#girlycard#alucard is tma#and I'm not even joking at all#ladycard is just the name i use for any fem alucards that won't get you turned into drake
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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So I was doing some math, and I THINK Skully is almost as tall as Malleus without his horns
I think the main reference to his height is Epel being surprised they're the same age because he's taller than Sebek, yes? which I find interesting, considering Jade and Malleus -- two of the tallest guys in the main cast -- are also there. and, since I've never been one to not think waaaay too much about the absolute stupidest minutiae about fictional characters, I see two possibilities:
one is that Epel is extremely good at eyeballing heights (I actually do feel like he could be? like. I'd believe he can estimate someone's height fairly accurately by calculating based on the life stages of an apple tree, or how many apples tall they are, or something else apple-related like that.) and Scully does, perhaps, fall into that narrow margin between Sebek and Jade in height.
OR two, out of the three certified Tall Guys there, Sebek is Epel's main frame of reference because he's the only one he's had any real interaction with for, let's be fair, pretty obvious reasons.
SO in conclusion, we still have no concrete answers and will probably have to wait until next year when we get his card profile, alas alas. 😔
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#disclaimer that this is mostly a joke and i am aware that i'm putting way more thought into this than was intended#(just like how i've thought WAY too much about where this event takes place chronologically based on a single throwaway line)#(the chronology is complex but there are more pressing discussions for now)#honestly i would love it if scully was like 6'7" and just towered over everybody#except malleus' horns#that's why he has to wear the glasses!#he needs eye protection just in case malleus turns around too quickly or something#geeze and he's only 16...he hasn't even reached his final form yet#do they have the courage to make him just a big ol' baguette of a man#or are they going to be all consistent about average heights or whatever >:(#we're gonna get his profile next year and find out he's like 188.5cm#(rip my vague hopes that fellow would surprise us by being a short king)#(look gidel is VERY small. there was a CHANCE)
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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do you guys think that when neil got back home from cali he took andrew up to the roof where he sat watching him smoke and told him he put a hit out on a raven. and then andrew sat there in silence watching the sunset before asking "why?" and neil looked down fiddling with his own lit cigarette and said very quietly that this particular raven was jean's drake. do you think that andrew went very still and did not speak or smoke for such a long time that neil eventually looked up at him and was taken aback by how andrew was watching him very carefully. do you think that as andrew looked at neil he was so paralysed by the thought of jean going through that same abuse and neil putting an end to it without even thinking twice. do you think he realised his meter had officially broken and neil was so far past 100% and that he was really truly it for him
#i'm sure it can be said andrew cared so little about jean he wouldn't have cared for any of the details#but i don't believe this is true since he protective of neil when nicky makes his unsavoury jokes after he first arrives at palmetto#so i think he would care very much#and he would feel an insane level of pride and love for neil dealing with it this way#he wouldn't say it and he might not even show it but i know he would feel it#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#jean moreau#jeaneil#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg
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gerrard: buckley, what in the devils name are you doing?
buck, with a clipboard in hand: well, gerrard, i was going over everything in the firehouse and i noticed some things
gerrard: what is it buckley?
buck: well, you sir are in violation of the sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression discrimination act, over the past week i've noticed you refer to henretta wilson with slurs, very offensive slurs, as well as myself, due to this myself and mrs wilson have made note of each time you've done this, and reported it to our head HR representative, this here *hands gerrard a piece of paper* is a letter from the chief, requesting your presence for a meeting about your retirement
gerrard: you fucking fa-
bobby: i'd be careful if i was you gerrard, and get out of MY firehouse
gerrard: *screws up the paper and leaves*
chimney: see i told you all we needed to do was set clipboard buck on his ass
hen: look i know i'm a lesbian, but buck has never looked so good before
buck: i am the defender of lesbians!!
#911 abc#911 evan buckley#911 buck#911 show#911 incorrect quotes#911 spoilers#911 tv show#incorrect 911 quotes#incorrect quotes#911 henretta wilson#911 hen wilson#911 hen#911 howard han#911 howard chimney han#911 howard#911 chimney han#911 bobby nash#911 bobby#911 captain gerrard#i could totally see this happening#that man loves research so you know he knows all the rules and regulations#i need this to happen#it would be so funny#homophobia mention#i actually googled lafd rules and regulations for this#i'm not even joking#low-key my search history be weird af#canon bisexual#canon lesbian
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!
Part 28 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')
#Golly!#this is a shorter update but I wanted it to be that way. We've been in the house for a while. It's time to change some scenery!!#Chara using their game narrator voice like “golly!” and “amazing!”#Eimmet high :)) i was really hoping to be able to reference Temmie Chang here. An integral part of UT/DR!! She's awesome!#WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON Day 2 BABY#yes- there is still a little everyman easter egg as well as some other things... ;)#I tried so many new and different things for these panels. I was a little nervous implementing them. But im having a lot of fun with it!#i try to put my own artistic enjoyment above all other things :) its what I strive for.#Angle's landing day! excited for the festivities!#Chara is feeling stabby :)#loved detailing Chara's hand in the last page. When I detail the hands- just know shits getting real#I'm really happy with how I was able to redraw Toriel here. She showed up in the second part and that was it for 2 years -w-#so even if she's not a major character- I wanted to give her some good screen time <3#I did not make the Darkworld “Mayor” just for that one joke....but dang did it fit perfectly.#these 4 pages took longer than I wanted. I got burnt out with school and then finals came!!! AND ALSO EMAILS q-q#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#chara#asriel#kris#susie#toriel#tw cursing#cw cursing
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i can't stop thinking about them..............
reblogs > likes
#tf2#tf2 fanart#doodle dump#engineer tf2#spy tf2#i've literally been thinking about them for a week straight#not even joking#they're all i think about#i wanna have what they have........#too bad i'm aro#practical espionage#engiespy#napoleon complex#ouuuughhh....#okay i go bed now........
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Marvel's Squirrel Girl: The Unbeatable Radio Show! | All of Erik Lehnsherr's Call-In's
Episodes featured: The Fate of My Universe The Sinister Six Are No More Who Would Win In A Fight? Unbeatable
Full Podcast Playlist (Spotify)
Credits below:
Written by: Ryan North
Directed by: Giovanna Sardelli
Voice Cast: Milana Vayntrub - Squirrel Girl/Doreen Green Crystal Lucas Perry - Nancy Whitehead Leo Sheng - Koi Boi/Ken Shiga Davied Morales - Chipmunk Hunk/Tomas Lara-Perez Erica Schroeder - Tippy T. Squirrel Rob Nagle - Erik Lehnsherr
Key Art: "Squirrel Girl Infinity Comic (2022)" by Derek Charm - Doreen, Nancy, Ken, Tomas, Tippy "Magneto (2023)" by Todd Nauck - Erik
#marvel#x-men#squirrel girl#magneto#cherik#i'm not tagging everyone im too drunkf rothat#i dont have a tag for vids DAMIt> this gon be my only oen#snap chats#HERE IT ISS !!!!! FINALLY !!! LIKE FOUR MONTHS IN THE MAKING <- was just too lazy to do it#i thought id focus on work all day but OOPSIEE !!!!!!!!! i was too inspired#legally had to use nauck's art that's another goat of mine ... i love his style sm its so cute and expressive and bold...#theres small things in this that bother me but whatever ive literally done this all day#im posting it and moving on#im forcing you to reblog this. DO IT#i kept giggling while makign this cause mags is so funny ....#im still crying at him being like 'yeah i said i was never going back AND I MEANT IT'#also doreen a cherik shipper ...... queen behavior i always knew it#PLEASE ENJOY !!! IM BEGGING YOU !!!! im pinning this to my blog idc this took forever#also his call ins are genuinely so funny i love him so much. my silly peepaw.....#take a shot every time he says 'charles' tho i swear to god#i was actually going to do that tongiht but Legit the amount of whiskey i had was not enough HE SAYS CHARLES SO MUCH#im ending the tags here so i dont go on a rant about how in love mags is with charles. enoug..#NOT EVEN A PODCAST SERRIES IS SAFE FROM CHERIK IM CRYINGGGGGG#they will makethemselves a probelm to EVERYONE#'please dont be evil' he'll be worse. he'll be needy jLVKAJ ERIK IS SO NEEDY IM CRYING#ok i think thats all i have to sya . im a lil tipsy so i cant think right#WAIR I REMEMBER I WANTED TO CRY ABOUT ERIKS STPID 'SWEETOOTH' JOKE I HATE HIM !!!! <- deeply in love with him#'snap you said you were drinking like ten minutes ago are you fr' dont look at me. GOOD NIGHT !!!
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So I'm fully in a Transformers Prime binge rewatch and holy SMOKES I did not remember how gay this show was. Like obviously Starscream is twinktown central and Knockout is very flamboyant, yes--but Megatron is so obsessed with Optimus (and vice versa) it's not even funny! Here's a compilation of the best moments from *just the first half of S1*:
Megatron returns after who knows how long and one of the first things out of his mouth is "No one rids me of Optimus Prime except me!!"
Megatron "dies" and Optimus is immediately depressed to the point where Ratchet asks about it and unlocks Sad Reminiscing
The Autobots are trying to figure out what the Decepticons are up to and Optimus starts with "Starscream is no Megatron, but--" just say you miss him
Megatron is literally comatose and his coma dream is him and Optimus fighting over and over again. Optimus just keeps respawning. Bro is LITERALLY living in his head rent free
In fact when Bumblebee gets inside Megatron's head Optimus is literally the First Thing he sees
Why is Bee in there? Because Optimus is deathly sick! And one of the only things that rouses Optimus from his nearly catatonic state? Learning Megatron is alive!
Megatron is also the only one who has the knowledge to save him so now they're both on their deathbeds together and their fates are linked etc. etc.
Bumblebee gets the info he needs by telling Megatron that if he doesn't give them the cure, Optimus will die (and Megatron will therefore not get to kill him)
Megatron (who had figured out this was all about Optimus before Bee even told him): "After our deep history together, to NOT watch the spark ebb from his eyes with my very own...well played, Scout." And then he gives him the cure
Starscream is about to kill Optimus and Megatron--as the FIRST thing he does after getting out of his coma--literally knocks him out of the sky, saves Optimus's life (priorities), and completely lets Optimus go. Which brings the Deliberately Saving Optimus's Life count up to 2!
Will add on as the show continues, but this is just like. 14 episodes in. At this point, forget allegations, they've been fully tried and convicted lol
#transformers prime#optimus prime#megatron#megop#megoptimus#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#the hyperfixation is hyperfixating#the wheel has turned again...#i'm particularly excited for S3 bc i don't think i ever watched it (wasn't in the library i used growing up)#so i don't know how the Orion Pax amnesia arc ends!!! and i imagine there are lots of wonderful gems there...the History...#my meta posts#kind of meta but not really#i just can't get over them. brothers in arms is my all-time favorite dynamic it's everything i want not even a joke it is everything to me#the word t'hy'la gets so much mileage for me bc what else is this?? what else if not 'friend‚ brother‚ lover'???#but this one is the 'bad ending' (for now...!)#aughdkdjfigjjf they literally make me so feral#maccadam
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Isat Doodle Dump #2!
I've been excited to share this page for so long!
Minor Act 3 and 4 spoilers, (accidental) Act 6 spoiler (below the cut)
Click through for close ups of some of my favorites on this page! Doodles with text on them have alt text in case it's hard to read.
(accidental) two hats spoiler under cut
By the time I got to act 4 I had my theories, and this seemed so funny.
#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#the others are also there but they're so itty bitty#sketch#traditional#I'm so happy this is finally posted!!! It's been my doodle page for jokes and such since act 2ish and followed me until the end of act 4#I have the curse of loving 0.3 pens and tiny drawings but having a phone camera that barely processes images that small#'this is our friend with dementia' lives in my head rent free. It's what I think of when I see most of the non-Sif-looping aus lol#'Take a bow' was mid-fantasizing about a happy ending mid-act 3. I hadn't even seen the horrors yet#Did you know? Did you know??? I knew so little about this game going into it that I didn't know if it had a happy ending or not? no rest#anyways that's all the sletchbook doodle pages but I still have a post-it note hodge podge#ada rambles#adadrewit#siffrin#fanart
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so jim got bit by a space mushroom that takes away his impulse control... welcome to daycare on the bridge with his xo and cmo
obviously the salad cat meme is still going strong in the 23rd century because these guys reenact it on a daily basis lmaoo
prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "mask off" 🩵💙💛
#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek tos#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#star trek the original series#spones#spones fanart#mckirk#spirk#fun fact theyve actually ALL been infected by the spores since the start xDD it's why bones touches spock so much#and why spock cracks that joke#lowered inhibitions (wink)#so they're ooc but it's on purpose 😌🩵💙💛#spock#jim kirk#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#i like to think that spock is actually profoundly hilarious/has a knack for deadpan comedy but represses it up until he gets over--#--his baggage with not being 'vulcan enough'. he's absolutely hilarious when he wants to be and constantly gives j+b whiplash#part of the humor is that you can't tell if he's joking or not until you look at his eyes and see the twinkle#he gets bones ALL THE TIME with incendiary comments and deadpan delivery until bones starts to squint and go--#--no. no way you actually think that. youre messing with me on purpose. i'm ENTERTAINING you. vulcans don't get bored my ass#it's enrichment for both of them <333 not even kidding. It's good for them both lmaoo#mcspirk bingo#dust trek comics
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the webcomic can have one (1) funny "earnest moment interrupted by comedy" joke. as a treat. but also because it is so in character for them ajkshdjkas
yes they will say the most earnest shit to each other and then immediately try to cringe out of their own bodies. they are best friends but they would rather jump out of a window before admitting it. they are incredibly devoted and grateful to one another but you could not water board that out of either of them.
the only thing that can get either of them to admit how much they care for each other is if the other is in life threatening danger and not a second before aakjshdks
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#i'm sorry i do think this is incredibly funny i'm still laughing ajksdhsjkfsd#they're assholes! they're best friends! they will risk life and limb for one another but you won't get them to say one nice thing#about the other unless it's a matter of life and death! and even then they might risk it if they're the ones in danger and not the other lo#like!! this is in character! this is a joke made by the characters and not at them!! this is them acknowledging how much they care#for the other and then cringing when they realize they let themselves be earnest out loud.#not the narrative itself cringing and not allowing the characters to be earnest at all. not the author pointing and laughing at the story#you're supposed to care about.#i'm getting serious again so i'm gonna stop!! just!! i do love them <3333#ep 122
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-Brutus and as many as 60 co-conspirators, circa March 14th, 44 BC
#ides of march#would you believe that I created this image all the way back in january STRICTLY BECAUSE I HAVE THAT MUCH BEEF WITH CAESAR?#this was created because he insisted that the Rhine was the border between Gaul and Germany#just so he could declare that he'd 'conquered' Gaul#but there's very little evidence that the peoples living in those places even viewed the Rhine as a barrier between lands#and their continued fighting against rome along that border line could indicate that they were in fact#attempting to reunite lands occupied by foreign invaders#anyway fuck you caesar i hope your triumph sucked ass#and that everyone who ever made bald jokes about you found idk a denarius in their pocket unexpectedly#yes i'm retroactively wishing dead people good and ill i'm complicated like that
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not to be Anxious on main but i've got my performance review for my apprenticeship in a few weeks to see if they're going to keep me on permanently and i am gently shitting myself hnhhhhh
#ramble#tl:dr almost done with my training so i have to talk with my mentor next month to find out if i get a probationary period/permanent space#i knew it was going to happen but also NERVOUS#i don't think i've done TERRIBLY???? i haven't permanently fucked anyone's body and my hygiene is fine so that's probably good#i haven't even really had any HARSH criticism i'm just worried that she's been saving it all up until now lmao#the thing that i'm worried is going to fuck me is that i don't have enough self confidence and that doesn't look very good#everyone jokes that i need a 'sorry' jar instead of a swear jar akdfhdfh#if there isn't space for me it's not the end of the world bc they said they'll connect us with another shop but also. i really like it here
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