#and I'm not entirely sure how to fix that

[lordcrumps]

Sul Sul!

Hello, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who have reached out to me and my family the past few months; for those who don't know, my mum and uncle passed away on the same day in June and then in November I lost my cat of 19 years, so lets just say 2024 can do one!

2025 brings me hope that the year will be better, and the worse of it will be over! I plan on getting back into creating CC streaming etc, but right now I am enjoying playing... well I was until my Pleasantview got corrupted due to user error, but no fear we have a new hood in the works! Pleasant Point - inspired by our very own @kashmiresims Kashmire Point!

Thanks to those who have been with me on discord calls and chats, especially those the last few months, you really helped me in more than one way and I would love to tag you all but I don't want to accidentally miss someone, but you all should know who you are!

What is to come from lordcrumps this year? Details under the cut!

So what shall we expect from lordcrumps in 2025 and beyond? That is a big question! So let's give a big answer! Below will be of some of my most asked questions, so hope I clear things up!

STREAMING - My first goal is to get Pleasant Point finished and ready to play. Once I have this I shall get back into streaming again, setting up a schedule and what not for those who are interested! You can follow here!

YOUTUBE - Can't tell you when, but I do plan on doing more on Youtube!

CUSTOM CONTENT - Everything that I have created CC form, I will go through and upload at some point. I have TONS of stuff that was meant to be in "sets" (sets like, every wall / every floor / entire stuff packs etc) but never got around to finishing due to my hyper-focus moving onto to something different. So instead of hoarding them, I will eventually get around to uploading them! Cos lets face it, I can always update at a later date!

TERRAIN DEFAULTS - My Pleasantview redo / Pleasant Point / Sim State University Redo all use custom terrain types (like lush, dirt, concrete etc), so they are not that user-friendly to just import and play sadly, so I want to create a tutorial set and videos to go along with them. I also have to have the CC released for them to work too! As well as tutorials on how to have multiple roads sets within in one hood / different roads for different terrain types.

REQUESTS - I still do not want to take requests, this is because I do not like to promise something and never deliver. I will continue doing what I want to do and sharing with of all you. Just assume that one day the entire Sims 4 will be converted by myself or other friends of lordcrumps.com *wink* @platinumaspiration *wink*

LORDCRUMPS.COM - This site is not going anywhere, well at least that is the plan, this will be the place for all of my released CC!

LORDCRUMPS DISCORD - Back in my streaming and YouTube days, I had a discord. Feel free to join, the plan is once all the existing CC is sorted and uploaded. Anything that needs play testing / unreleased stuff / sneaky conversions, will be posted in there plus any updates to existing CC.

LINUX - Thanks to @kashmiresims and @teaaddictyt i'm now a linux boi, so will update you how that goes - so far, I am very impressed.

My TOU, I have had a lot of questions about my "rules" and what not so I want to clear things up as much as possible.

I purchase the Sims 4 for me to convert the items to Sims 2, I simply upload to lordcrumps.com for prosperity reasons, and of course to share with you all.

Feel free to use / share / edit what ever you download from me. Not 1 person owns sims conversions; so I cannot lawfully dictate who does what with the downloads. What I will say is for authentic LordCrumps and co CC, it will be on lordcrumps.com, this is where any updates, fixes etc will be posted.

If you use CC for a lot and package up that to share, fine, just make sure they have all the dependencies needed (Sims 4 shadow file, master meshes etc) Just don't take entire packs and re upload and claim as your own? I only ask of this due to the nature of updating files with minor tweaks, updating and bugginess, if it is all linked to one place (my site) then all the updates will be there too.

Hair Defaults by Platasp - this is one download I will be strict on, do not upload anywhere else, this is because of how interconnected the hairs are to each other, removing one might break another. Any updates will be kept to lordcrumps or individual files on PlatAsp tumblr. lordcrumps.com is not planning on shutting down any time soon, so there is no need to re-upload anywhere else.

SIMS 4 CC CONVERSIONS - Yes, one day once The 4T2 conversions have been done, I will be working on converting CC for the Sims 4, but right now; no, unless its really spectacular. So please stop asking to convert stuff from Sims 4 creators as that does not interest me right now. The reasoning behind this is that if I start treating myself to CC items, I will get spoilt and not want to convert actual Sims 4 stuff, silly excuse I know, but I would like to convert the Sims 4 first. That would be cool.

ANYWHO - That's all I think I have to say now, if you made it this far down thank you, here is some more pics of Pleasant Point to say thanks ahah!

Have a great day! See you soon!

[pinkkop]

Another week has passed! And I'm still sticking to my weekly recap, though I know 2 weeks isn't super impressive but I'm sticking to this!! I've actually set up a whole system to make these posts and I'm probably going to make a post explaining how tomorrow (I'll link it here when I've made the post)

As always, any constructive criticism is welcome and I'll probably keep improving this format for a while.

QL Recap for Week 2

The 6th of January to the 12th of January

🇹🇼 See Your Love

Episode 13 of 13 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This show was just so good and it definitely stuck the landing. Both couples were great, felt very fresh and I was super invested in both. If they'd had a longer runtime they could have definitely used more time on the core plot and the second couple but that's really more of a wish of mine. They used the time they had well and I can definitely see myself returning to this. And just the cherry on top of two great pairings came an interesting plot which didn't treat Shaopeng's disability as something to be fixed and instead showed all the ways he was perfect just the way he is.

🇹🇭 ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat

Episode 5 of 13 || Watching on: Youtube

Another great episode! Was a little surprised that Thame hadn't realized he has feelings for Po yet but at least we got there now. I'm not entirely sure what Jun's problem is yet but at least it seems like Po knows he is up to something. Nano's fear of failure and desperate need to not feel like a burden to other people was so relatable and I'm really happy they all were there to help him understand that it's okay to rely on other people. It's safe to say I'm very invested in this show!

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers

Episode 7 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube

Oh this was delicious! Just the intricacies of Bison and Fadel now also knowing Kant and Style's motives and pretending they don’t. The BB gun scene was insane because it felt very close to home when Bison and Fadel are used to being out shooting people but this was just for pretend. Two things were said in this scene which I'd bet was foreshadowing: Style asking to be allowed to help which might mean he'll be shooting a real gun in the future and Kant saying he'll shield Bison which I'd bet means he'll try and shield Bison for real in the future and might actually get shot. Overall the acting in this episode was phenomenal!! Particularly the final boat scene was just *chef's kiss*

🇹🇭 Your Sky

Episode 9 of 12 || Watching on: iQiYi

Oh they are just the sweetest boyfriends!! Can't wait for Hia and Real to finally get their shit together and have a proper talk but luckily they'll take steps towards that next week. This show is just my happy space right now.

🇹🇭 Fourever You

Episode 16 of 17? || Watching on: Gray

I'm still one episode ahead but I wont spoil anything so don't worry if you haven't seen episode 16. I feel a little bad but I was pretty happy about having an episode for just Johan and North. I absolutely adore them so it was so great get more background story on them. For some reason I thought this show was only 16 episodes so I have no clue what the total nr. of episodes are anymore. I wouldn't mind a couple of more episodes with Johan and North as the focus though because they're the highlight of this show for me. I do also love seeing the two friend groups and their friendships which to be honest I could use more of. I love that even the very masculine group of friends have each others backs and are able to be vulnerable in with each other.

🇯🇵 Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: Oh these two! This was such a good story of living in a world that doesn't accept you. Just two lonely lost boys finding love and a home in each other. Even when they get their happy ever aften they still live in a society where they have to hide and it just breaks my heart. I just hope they find better friends. Overall I really liked this show and how it was produced. I could easily feel the pain of these two and put myself in their place. It was by no means perfect but it was a good little show with all the things that made me enjoy watching it.

🇹🇭 Petrichor

Episode 7 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

I'm still enjoying this very much and putting the killer in-between our two main characters was so delicious. The crime plot and the romance are heavily intertwined and one enhances the other. This was the same with Spare Me Your Mercy but also the reason why when SMYM didn't develop the relationship enough it also affected the rest of the plot. I don't find that this is the same problem here though.

🇹🇭 Caged Again

Episode 10 of 10 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

Final notes: This concept was absolutely bonkers but they made it work really well. I loved how they played into the animal characters because it made it feel more believable and original and fun. I fully believed that the two were transformed from specific animals and it made it great. It kinda lost it's magic towards it's end but I still think its well worth a watch.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners

Episode 12 of 24 || Watching on: Youtube

I'm still invested in Gun and Yotha, and I'm loving Arc's presence in their lives. I however was very confused about Aou and Boom's couple suddenly getting screen-time. I like these two as actors but since their characters came into this show already established and with very little screen-time before this week I'm not invested in them at all.

🇹🇭 The Boy Next World

Episode 2 of 10 || Watching on: iQiYi

This show is suffering from the large amount of shows airing on Sunday because I'm struggling to pay enough attention to actually get invested. The acting and production value is there and I like the plot a lot but I usually get to this third so I'm usually tired and anxious about in being Sunday when I get to it which isn't an easy situation to get into a new show.

🇯🇵 Futtara Doshaburi

Episode 1 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I don't understand how you can slowly start moving your beds away from each other in a relationship. They got some serious issues and desperately need to talk about it but are doing anything but that. I'm a little confused about the otsee your loher couples(?) dynamic, are they dating? Just roommates? They're acting like they're more than roommates at times but I guess we'll find out. I assume that all that is something we'll find out so I'm intrigued by this show, even if I worry a little that they'll get into "cheating" territory at some point which is not my cup of tea.

🇹🇭 Sangmin Dinneaw

Episode 3 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi

Sangnim and Dinneaw are super cute and I love all the languange stuff and I'm also interested so see where the second couple goes. But other than that I kept thinking all episode: "What even is this show? " The Pony thing still isn't my kind of humor but I'm assuming someone is finding it funny. The third couple however, what even is the point of them? We don't know them at all so I'm not invested in them or their relationship and I don't even know what those sex scenes are? Like they're neither funny nor sexy, why are they there? This is the one time where I'll allow NC scenes to be called unnecessary. I'm just so confused so if anyone has any insights please let me know!! Maybe it's just not my thing? I don't ever remember watching a show where I really liked parts of if but then absolutely didn't like other parts.

🇨🇳 I'll Turn Back This Time

Episode 1 of 6 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I really like Meet You at the Blossom so I'm very curious to see if this can live up to the hype. They pretty much speed ran "enemies to lovers to something more" so I'm worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass later. Either way I'm intrigued and I'll wait and see the show unfold more before I make more of a judgement on this show.

🇹🇼 Eternal Butler

Episode 5 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala

I'm watching this incredibly casually because I'm not big on robots in romantic relationships and, like it's predecessor, Anti Reset, you shouldn't think too hard about the plot.

That's it for this week!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[thelibraryoferebor]

Rarepairs for When You Wanna Switch it Up

Woah, it's been a while since I posted, but I still haven't stopped reading tolkienverse fics, so I have a large backlog of fics to recommend. It's just the matter of getting them on a list and to you guys that's the trick...For your sanity I encourage you to consider this blog all but retired, even though I am going to try to get out the lists that I've had in the works for a while.

This list is basically what it says: rarepairs. Except, rarepair doesn't actually mean that the pairings are all that rare, just that the central pairing isn't Thilbo, Gigolas, or Barduil, since that's what I recommend the most of!

Enjoy!

~H

Spaces Between Us by Linguistic Jubilee 

|| general - 7.9k - completed - Di/D ||

Thorin pauses. “You have to understand that what I am about to say is so uncomfortable for me that I would almost rather fight the white orc again than continue, but. Dis. You must be blind if you cannot see that Dwalin stares at you the way you stare at him.”

Notes: Ok. So. I love Dis/Dwalin so much. Like I'm not even sure entirely why, but I adore it. This fic especially kinda like encapsulates all the lovely feels of the two of them and I think does really well by both characters and is just so worth reading. Even if you're initially iffy on the ship idea, give it a shot, you won't regret it. Also, mayhaps be looking at a whole Dis/Dwalin post in the future.

In Loving You With My Whole Heart by Lapin 

|| teen - 11.3k - completed - F/O ||

After the song comes on the radio, Ori is determined not to forgive Fíli. But it's not the first song Fíli has written about him, and it likely won't be the last.

Rock Band AU

Notes: This fic guys. It's just. So cute. And I love the Ori centric POV. It's desperately romantic and angsty all at the same time. I want more.

Fear and Family (Or, the One Where Kíli Is the Sensible One) by Lumeleo

|| general - 43.7k - completed - F/O;K/Ta;T/B ||

After the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo isn't sure of his welcome in the mountain, and thus returns to the Shire as soon as he can. Somewhat to his surprise, Ori goes with him -- but it turns out Ori has his own reasons for leaving Erebor behind. Well, Bilbo's quite used to being the talk of the Shire.

The line of Durin might suffer of thick skulls, but fortunately Kíli is less stubborn than his uncle and brother, and decides to fix things, even if that means taking his newlywed wife for a ride all the way to the Shire and beyond. Of course, he doesn't yet know what he'll see there -- but he does know how to fix things. Even if it means giving up his claim to the throne.

(Let's not kid ourselves -- that's his favourite part.)

Notes: This is a bit of a fandom classic, tbh. I think that Kili is, tbh, the best part of this fic. He's so fun to read and I love the relationship between him and Tauriel (ofc) but also between him and Ori and Bilbo. The bond between Bilbo and Ori is also perfection.

One Hit by littlebrownshoe (Wolfy_Tales) 

|| general - 7.9k - completed - D/O ||

Dwalin was so busy making sure Thorin understood the gifts Bilbo graced the king with that he did not give much time to think over the items Ori gave him. It took the scribe giving Dawlin a punch to get him to finally realize.

Notes: Awww, Dwalin. That's how I felt for most of the fic, though sometimes it became an arghhh Dwalin instead. Definitely worth reading.

Settling Down by Shay_Moonsilk 

|| general - 1.8k - completed - F/O;D/N ||

Dori wants his brothers to settle down with a nice dwarf, but will he like the ones they chose?

Spoiler: Yes he does.

Notes: DORI!! He's so cool. So protective. So traumatized. I love him. And how much he cares for his brothers. Their relationship is explored and discussed in such a lovely way in this fic and I <333333 it.

I’ve Been Looking for You by Resacon1990 

|| teen - 28k - completed - D/O;T/B;D/N;Bo/N ||

It starts on the wrist when you're young. The first words your soulmate will ever say to you are tattooed in a colour, red, green, yellow, blue, any colour each with their own meaning, and the day they're said and the moment you touch your soulmate is the moment they travel up to settle on your forearm.

Five stories, five different bonds, five endings.

Notes: This fic I read a long time ago, but I remember enjoying. I believe that it follows each pair in it's own chapter which is cool. But it also has a lot of interesting discussions about soulmates and almost the impracticality (???) of it, or the ways in which the system is imperfect.

A Perfect Match by Chamelaucium 

|| general - 38.4k - completed - D/O;Bo/N;T/B ||

Bilbo tries his hand at match-making. What he doesn't expect is to find his perfect match in the process...

Notes: This is a classic trope. Almost the reverse of the Dwalin trying to get Bilbo and Thorin together fic from above. Def worth your time, a sweet little thing that just makes you feel fluffy.

In Carven Oak by bubbysbub 

|| not rated - 26.3k - completed - T/B/D ||

It's Yule time when Bilbo arrives back in the Shire- with a host of Dwarrow at his back, the sentimental lugs. Except now the assorted Aunts and Uncles have gotten quite the wrong idea in their excited interrogation, and he's stuck pretending that he's married a few of the hairy fellows.

If he could just get through the assorted required Baggins and Took social events without outing himself as a complete fibber or drunkenly attempting to kiss Dwalin and Thorin under the mistletoe, it may just be a Yule miracle.

Another attempt at writing a common trope fic that went completely off the rails.

Notes: Ok so I know this is still technically Thilbo, but it also includes Dwalin who is epic. I really love how casually the polyamory is treated in this and I think that it is a great introduction to polyamorous ships in fanfiction if you're curious about it.

Heavy with Many Burdens by moonbeam (luvsbitca)

|| mature - 39.8k - completed - D/O;T/B ||

Bilbo leaves Thorin and the company following Thorin’s words before the BoTFA unaware that he is taking more from their relationship than a broken heart. Months later Dwalin finds Bilbo in need of help in the Shire when he is delivering Bilbo’s share of the treasure. He remains in the Shire unaware that he is leaving Ori behind in a precarious situation.

Notes: This is such a sweet fic with Dwalin and Bilbo's relationship especially feeling particularly special. Poor Ori and Thorin, though. It all ends well in the end, though!

Back in My Right Place by frodomybeloved (rosequartzstars) 

|| general - 11.2k - completed - Fr/S;T/B ||

When Frodo is sick in time for Bilbo and Thorin's visit from Erebor, they spend an evening watching over him, along with a presence that has never left his side: Sam Gamgee. It is Sam who finally puts Frodo on the road to recovery with the unlikeliest of remedies— a kiss.

Eleven years later, Frodo is recovering at Rivendell, after being mortally wounded by the Witch King at Weathertop. He has been asleep for three nights, and already Sam fears he might never awaken. But when all looks dire, the same cure might be the thing to restore Frodo to life.

A story of two parallel evenings, years apart, created from art by YamBits (#98) for the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang 2021.

Notes: One extended word: awwwwwww.

[peculiardollart]

POV: You are Jin Guangshan, and it turns out your eldest son is a lot more like you than you ever gave him credit for.

... You should have listened when he asked you to be nicer to his brother.

[kaialone]

[kandicon]

On the assumption that any lost body parts of the mechs still exist after removal and don't, like, disintegrate or something:

Note: since the fictions talk about all brains being rounded up and put to work no matter how small or unusable, this poll does not require that the mechs had to have their brains harvested as a whole for a brain to be counted (aka brains collected by a death from head explosion, for example, still count).

The Toy Soldier and Drumbot Brian are not included for obvious reasons, but the idea of ferrymen looking really hard to try and find their brains after they "die" and being confused is very funny to me.

[mylodeclerck]

"I -- oh ehm yea okay, I'll ask him-- or like-- I don't know-- I'll make sure he knows and that he's like -- okay with it." Mylo nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate -- all the help." he smiled. He didn't imagine Ezra would have a problem with it-- but he had to make sure. He didn't know about all the politics involving vampirisme, hell even if Ezra had told him about it, he would have most likely forgotten about it immediately.

"Oh -- jesus christ dude -- well we'll have to fix that! Ain't no way I'm going to help you work, we're going to hang out and discover all the fun things to do in this town! Together!" Mylo spoke excitedly, mind racing all over the place, trying to think of what Malcolm might like to do-- he didn't know Malcolm well yet, but god was he ready to get to know him. "Oh shit-- guess I'll be learning stuff for decades if not centuries then." he joked, hell he'd be happy if he managed to keep himself alive for that long, seeing how he had barely learned anything over these past five months. "Oh that's fine-- Ezra tends to bring me blood bags-- and then we talk-- or well-- we gossip. Which by the way-- if you have any fun gossip I'm all ears-- it's literally all I've been doing this entire time, just learning about like-- all this through the juicy juicy gossip."

"I'm not going to be stepping on any toes. If your sire gets mad about this, then the learning stops and you get it from them directly. I'm an extra pair of hands, but your sire is and always will be your sire." He knew that relationships between sire and sired could be a bit... tense. Not everyone had a great relationship with their sire, Malcolm had run away from his own last year at their orders. It made him sad to think about, losing his family, so he tried to push the thoughts from his mind.

What did he do for fun? The question had him stumped, looking at the other who was expecting an answer. "I work a lot, I don't really have the time for fun things so I guess I just... don't." Malcolm replied quietly, a shrug on his shoulders. He would have to find a hobby soon, or he'd start going stir crazy in the daylight hours where he couldn't go outside. "It's okay, I'm sure it'll come to you with time. It's a learning curve, there's a lot I'm still learning and I've been this way for a few years now." The dark haired vampire admitted to the younger, once again having to bite back a chuckle at Mylo's enthusiasm. "The only thing I can't teach you is control with drinking from the vein. I can't... I can't risk being around that, Mylo."

[rhyme-draws-stuff]

the godess selene!

(tumblr please don't make this blurry ;-;)

[shigarakins]

excerpts from interviews horikoshi has given in 2018.

[X] [X]

these aren't the only interviews where he has talked about this, but i don't want to dig up every single instance of him adressing the idea of "everyone has their own unique definition of what a hero/heroism is"' because he was basically just saying the same thing over and over again over the course of the past few years. i think he even brought it up in one of his more recent interviews, but even if he hadn't, i see no reason to believe that he changed his mind at some point after 2018.

i mostly just think it's interesting in how it relates to tomura and tomura's character arc. basically, if your goal is to explore all the different shapes and forms a "hero" can take, you'd naturally ask yourself the question: "can a villain be a hero? and what would that look like?" where tomura is the answer to both of these questions. his brand of heroism is defined by wanting to be a hero for the villains (as a villain) and by destroying for their sake in order to create a future where they can live how they see fit. but that ultimately means that he couldn't ever stop being a villain or abandon his goal of destruction in the literal and most extreme definition of the word since that would have changed his idea of heroism too much in order to turn it into something more "acceptable", when the whole idea seems to be that even tomura's brand of heroism is valid, and that even a villain who is and wants to be a hero for other villains can and has the right to exist. any attempt at "redeeming" tomura or getting him to re-join society on the heroes' terms or re-define what it means to "destroy" or perhaps even abandon that goal entirely would have sort of defeated the point because it would have been akin to "converting" him, and basically forcing him back into a box (essentially saying that, in order to be a hero, he can only have "this type of existence").

but since this is bnha (where, when neither of two parties wants to give up, someone has to die, even a teenage girl's slate cannot, ever, "be wiped clean," nothing can change the fact that people "still became murderers" who cannot be forgiven, etc.), and jail just isn't that dramatic/emotionally moving/exciting of a conclusion, if he was never supposed to stop being a villain, if, in fact, him being a villain (in spite of afo, not because of him) was the entire point of his character, and fighting to "destroy until the bitter end" was the culimination of his character arc, then there was never any other outcome for him but death.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF MASS EFFECT: VIRMIRE

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard and Cmdr. Dominik Shepard With: Lt. Kaidan Alenko, Gun. Chief Ashley Williams, Urdnot Wrex, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya Ft. Special Guest Appearances by: Spec. Saren Arterius and Sovereign There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it... Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[nyt1ba]

     Atonement was a pointless endeavor neither of them are meant to achieve,   he isn't blind to it,   knows more than well that his endless toil might be without result.   For whatever he would try to save will be a disfigured version of what once was,   humanity's history had ended by his hands and it remains with him for safekeeping until his time comes.   All that he could fix could hardly heal the damage he'd done,   but he remains bound here by choice,   fighting an endless battle against the world and himself just as she had.   A lost soul that had unknowingly soothed a deep loneliness,   [   a temporary comfort he had to kill off as well.   ]   Her company was a balm to many unspoken wounds,   none he could share with the same honesty she offered   &.   doubts he could have done a similar thing even if he wasn't so tightly bound in secrets as it all had sanded his heart in time and became a part of who he was,   the past was ever present in memory,   but to speak of it would serve him no purpose.   He would have been content to listen to her stories about the good and bad,   unaware how she began to view him more than the mere shadow he was.

  When she speaks of his loneliness as a difficult thing,   that old heartache that ate him alive is absent,   having grown so used to the bittersweet companionship it had given him all these decades.   The truth is,   he had been prepared to lose more than he could gain,   Elektra and Artemis were a blissful stop in this journey,   gone before he could get used to them.   Loss is inevitable,   it was a constant he accepted long ago,   but to say it would remedy the waves of grief that would befall him is a lie he no longer entertains.   A part of him wishes he could have been the one to have given her true kindness,   to show her that this life wasn't all grey.   What he had done was a cruelty he never truly intended,   and yet,   she would tell him that it wasn't as bad as all the evil she'd been dealt.   Honesty is all he could give her now,   as ugly   &.   raw as he sees it.   He can't promise her anything,   he can't forsake his people for his own happiness.   While he wishes she would make the decision to stay,   he fears he would only bring her more misery than he already did,   he wouldn't wish that upon her.

       ❛❛   And thank you for understanding.   ❜❜        he responds with a nod,   it was an agreement he could accept,   leaving the choice to her entirely,   and even if she never returns   ...   it's alright with him,   this was more than he could ever ask for.   Extended hand is taken to pull himself up from the rock,   it's strange to him that he hadn't found this place before,   he would make sure to look after it from now on for her sake                   a passing thought that distracted him from the fact that his hand still held onto hers,   he pulls away,   a sheepish smile at the edge of his lips.        ❛❛   I'm   ...   glad we had this talk.   ❜❜        he says,   dark hues shifting towards her.        ❛❛   You don't owe me any promises,   take your time,   and whatever it is you choose,   I wish you well.   ❜❜

This reality rejects Elektra Alrune with every fiber of its being; her life is just one cosmic joke after another, finding new ways to burrow into her flesh when finally the wounds of old have scarred over. Eyes focus downward upon her palm, the shimmer of nonexistent blood eternally haunting her — sticky, stringing between fingers in loose coagulation, it drips onto the stone surface within her own mind's eye. How many have suffered at her hands? To find redemption in this life is a hopeless endeavor. The weight of her reputation precedes her, name strewn about the known galaxy like a curse. She is a plague to her own people, who would rather turn her in and avoid the wrath of the Coalition’s Peacekeepers than see her fed or clothed. It was something she struggled with — while nothing seemed to bother her externally, she’d always sought an acceptance that seemed to be more fantasy than reality — one of the many pains she suffered in silence.     “ I understand. It’s not easy … to do what you’ve done. Enduring hardship alone is difficult and once you’ve adjusted to the pain of it — reversing the damage you’ve done to yourself feels … impossible and pointless. So, I don’t blame you, Adam … and I know it was never your intention to hurt me, which is already more than I can say of others. ”

That being said, she holds no pretenses about his devotion to her; Adam has enough on his plate without having to concern himself with Elektra as well. In truth, she wasn’t foolish enough to believe he would stop trying to find a way to right his wrongs … her expectations of him don’t extend past whatever it is they have now – for they both know what it is they want. Peace above all else … an end to the brutality that has carved itself into them, more familiar now than their own hearts.     “ If I stay, ”     fingers push her hair back, eyes canting upward toward the moon in a subliminal search for comfort – despite the ease with which she usually speaks, this is still difficult,     “ it will not be out of any obligation. I know your duty will always be to Earth and her people first, and I don’t think I could change that even if I wanted to. I understand that this is … my decision alone. ”     It’s not as if she couldn’t find another abandoned planet to linger upon until the end finally nears, but … she wants to be here with him – even if he has nothing to offer her, it will be worth it to have been known for who or what she truly is – even if it’s only temporary.     “ Thank you for being honest with me. ”

Rising to her feet, she adjusts the long sleeves of her shirt – thinner than she appreciates in this weather. A mental note is made to bring a heavier coat next time, perhaps a set of gloves as well. Hand is offered to the scientist, a soft smile given alongside her request,     “ Walk me back? ”     Even though her inclination is to remain here with him, she needs to think it over. It behooves her to cash out her bounties, to repay debts, to clean up any loose ends that may cause them more headaches were she to stay indefinitely.     “ It was nice – seeing you again. I might be a little busy over the next couple of days, but ... I promise I won’t make you wait too long for my answer. Okay? ”

[wereh0gz]

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

Oh little people in my phone, we're really in it now 😔😔

[racke7]

My internet has been investigated by a professional.

There might be something weird with the big cables (to quote the guy: the "inner-pair" and "outer-pair" of the eight-cables are of different lengths, but by all accounts still work just fine), but my own equipment has at least passed (no extra-fine for crying wolf for me).

The weird stability-thing continues to be weird. And current test is for them to switch my internet-provider (internet-provider has a use-contract with the cable-operators, who are the ones investigating) over the weekend. See if the problem is on that end.

It's possible that this is the case (at which point I guess I'll try to switch permanently), or that it's that weird cable-length resulting in the problem (which is... a whole different can of worms).

[watery-melon-baller]

does anyone know a better way to try and reformat a research question for a survey because I am SUFFERING

[loumauve]

still got an occasional gross cough and a bunch of anxiety over being back at work with a certain horribly exhausting person but prolonging the stress will prob make it worse so I might as well go back to work tomorrow.

I stress cleaned everything in my flat today except the piles of washed clothes and unwashed dishes so things are back to normal once more, and then I sorted out all the stuff for upcoming project + exam prep and packed my bag for tomorrow and laid out clothes so I'm as ready as I can be.

gonna be exhausted tho bc it's already 11 pm and I gotta be up by 4:30 am at the latest if I wanna be at work at my usual time. I don't have to be there at 6:30, I could go there at 9 or 10 even but then I would have to stay late and deal with people right away, which is a strong hell nah for me